#I miss my comfort youtubers … you all have such a special place in my heart

[asmallcafethatslove]

I miss jenna marbles so much 😭

[steve-rambo-leaks]

ＺＩＮＥ　ＣＯＮＴＥＳＴ　（ｗｉｔｈ　ｐｒｉｚｅ）（≧▽≦）

Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ａ　Ｚｉｎｅ　ｃｏｎｔｅｓｔ　ｆｒｏｍ　ＮＯＷ　ｕｎｔｉｌ　Ｆｅｂ　２４ｔｈ　（ａｕｔｉｓｍ　ｈｏｌｉｄａｙ）．　Ｐｌｓ　ｒｅａｄ　ｍｏｒｅ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｈｏｗ　ｔｏ　ｓｕｂｍｉｔ，　ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｉｚｅｓ　ａｎｄ　ｗｈｙ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｓｏ　ｈｙｐｅｄ．　

This is for BOTH people who consider themselves artists and those who don't. It doesn't have to be a comic. A ZINE CAN BE ANYTHING :D It can be a tech tutorial, it can be a comic, it can be flash fiction, it can be a local history guide, it can be Street Fighter II Turbo strategies printed out to be left in arcades, it can be anything!

The video below explains the process better than I could probably in text (I suck at conveying thing through text). My video also has a tl;dr that I would appreciate everyone read before submitting.

There's some other stuff below, but if you're more visual, like not the reading type (like me) then feel free to skip and just head to the video description to jump in.

Also, you may know me for my "Raspberry Pis are for paypigs" video where I try to advocate for the upcycling for ewasted Chromebooks.

I've been into the idea of leaving around Zines for a while. Every time I walk into a coffee shop or local business, I think "wow, I really would wish there was something cool to read." So I started making things to put there: 8 small 2.5 inch panels, folded into one 2.5 inch square for those interested to unravel. I put them inside of these origami boxes that a learned how to make, ones with a logo printed on them.

So far I've made: a zine template (I call it a dog ear zine for some reason), a template for the box to put them in, a zine about using yt-dlp, a zine about a reindeer working IT (along with a collaborator) and (coming soon) a zine about a monster in a cave doing stuff. All of the odg LibreOffice Draw template files to make your own zines or print out mine are on my archive.org page (linked at top of my Tumblr). I'd really like other people to try this 8 panel 2.5 inch zine format, and I'm willing to bribe people with sweet, sweet Gabe Newell bucks to do it. You can submit as many zines in this format as you want. Just make sure they're printed out and have pictures of both the front and back (plus other pictures if you want) . In the video I mentioned you can use my submit page, which is probably the easiest for me to keep track of. You can also use the #dogearzine hashtag to enter. Please read the video description before entering, though (which includes Youtube's and Tumblr's terms of service, though this is more of a youtube thing).

Also, and this is completely unrelated, there's a lot more to me than just the faux-clickbait Wojak thumbnails. I like doing tech, wrestling, japanese, vidya and other videos, but I love to throw art in whenever I can shoehorn it in. Like, the video where I go over inchworm, butterfly, colors 3D and flipnote sudomemo - colors 3D on a hacked 3DS was my sister's first experience with digital at (she's moved up to an iPad and Procreate). So, it hold a special place in might heart, as a lot of the things I talk about do. I made a Whomp video because I miss Ronnie. I made a Rockbox video because I wished more people used dedicated MP3 players and knew where and how to download music. I want to help people do interesting things. And I also want to thank anyone who read all of this. You are cool. I hope everyone who's able to can compete in this contest and challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zone, to try something new! Also, also, thanks for liking these posts, people on Tumblr. You all have cool blogs. (^o^)丿

[sweetestlittledarling]

Little Smiles

Three short stories of how the Songbirds and the Love Interests Share Special Smiles. I wanted to include all of them in someway so that's why these are a bit more like drabbles and they are special to each character.

True Smile (Lark/Muriel)

It was on a summer evening when Muriel saw it again. Muriel didn’t even realize it until he looked up from the tapestry in his lap and looked across the firelit room. Ianna was asleep in her spot, happily snoring as Lark sat not far away studying his own tapestry with a surprisingly careful eye. Muriel watched Lark for a bit, feeling something was different but unable to put his finger on it. The younger man was humming to a tune Muriel could not place but that wasn’t anything new. Where Muriel was silent Lark was always making some kind of noise. The only time he could ever truly be quiet was when he was asleep though not always. It had bothered Muriel in the beginning, but it had started to grow on him like the rest of Lark. But that wasn’t it…. wait…

                Lark was smiling.

                It was calm, a small upturn of the lips that would have been missed if someone wasn’t looking carefully. It made Muriel pause a moment as he realized that this was a rare occurrence. He had witnessed it before, a few times on their journey together, mostly when they were being honest with each other. But, here, in their home, where there was no journey to make nor dangers to face...

                It was comfortable.

                Muriel rose from his seat and moved quietly over to the other side of the room. Lark looked up as he came over, still smiling. “Sorry, was I humming too loud?”

                Muriel shook his head as he sat down, his body bumping Lark’s gently as they were now very close. “It’s nicer over here,” he said. He felt a happy warmth spread through him as Lark’s smile grew a little and felt a little bit of weight as Lark leaned against him.

                Muriel’s lips turned upwards as the humming continued.

Side Note:

*This story was inspired by the Vocaloid song ‘Pierrot’ which has always made me think of the emotional journey between Lark and Muriel (with Lark being the nameless clown). My favorite cover is by a youtuber Ashe who I think sounds a lot like what I Imagine Lark’s singing voice to sound like.

...

Playful Smile (Sparrow/Julian)

“I can’t thank you and Julian enough for what you have done for these children,” Mother Dolores said one sunny afternoon.

                Sparrow laughed as she watched Julian, currently the villainous Captain Devorak, run after the many children who were screaming and laughing as he charged after then again, chasing them from one side of the courtyard to the next. “You don’t have to thank us mother. I think in all honestly this is Julian’s favorite day of the month.”

                “I think it’s the orphan’s favorite day as well,” Dolores agreed, letting out her own little laugh as she watched the scene. “They rarely get an adult playmate who is so animated as the doctor is. He really is like a child himself.”

                “Don’t I know it,” Sparrow sighed happily. It was nice to see Julian let loose and not look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. She wished there could be more moments like these. Just as the thought hit her she watched as Julian tripped trying to snag another child and took a face plant into the pavement causing several of the kids to cry out in surprise. She could hear Dolores cry out, but Sparrow was quick to move, kneeling at the motionless doctor’s side. “Julian! Darling, are you okay?”

                Julian’s lips turned upwards as with his one visible eye he gave a quick wink before shutting it again.

                Sparrow looked around at all the concerned child faces gathered around and realized exactly the part she would have to play. Carefully she flipped Julian on to his back, noting any battle wounds and then dramatically put one hand to her heart and her other wrist to her forehead. “Oh, my darling Julian! Please children! I can’t bare to look! Will you see if he is breathing?!”

                The children peered in cautiously, whispering concerns and hopes that their large playmate was okay. Right when they were all close enough Julian’s eyes snapped open and he burst upwards, uttering a sound of excitement as all the children jumped back in terror and surprise. “You think that a simple fall can defeat the famed Captain Devorak?! It would take a greater fall then that to defeat me!”

                The children cheered as the chase began once again.

…

                As the sun set in the evening, Julian and Sparrow said goodbye to all the children. A little girl tugged at Julian’s shirt and the doctor squatted down to look her in the face. “Is there something I can do for you my dear?” he asked smiling. The girl said nothing, but wrapped her arms around the doctor’s neck in a tight hug and placed a paper in his hand before running off to join the other children for supper. Julian’s face was beat red as Sparrow helped him out of the building, her arm wrapped around his waist with one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders. The paper turned out to be a picture, a childlike drawing of the doctor and all the children with the words ‘Thank you Doctor Devorak’ in big letters across the bottom.

                Sparrow smiled as she gave Julian a little squeeze. “We’ll have to get it framed.”

                “Indeed,” Julian said, a smile gracing his features. “I think I have the perfect spot in my office for it.”

                “Though first, we probably should take care of that headwound from earlier as well as that knee that I figure must be the size of a pumpkin by now.”

                Julian laughed and winced as he leaned on Sparrow for support. The scrape on his forehead was still rather red though luckily wasn’t bleeding, even though it was noticeable. “A few battle scars are worth it when it comes to the enjoyment of those children!” Julian declared. “Plus, if anything it gets me a night under the tender care of my favorite doctor who isn’t actually a doctor.”

                “Oh, who is that exactly?”

                “Why you my dear Sparrow, I trust no hands but yours to treat my wounds and my heart,”

Side Note:

*I imagine that as a part of cleaning up the city an orphanage is finally built and you know Julian is fighting every darn doctor in that city to take care of those kids. It maybe only once a month but heck if he is going to let anyone else have one of his favorite days.

...

Heartfelt Smile (Robin/Asra)

It started in his chest. He could feel a warmth that spread outwards like a fire, not burning but enough to warm his inner being. Robin recognized the magic nature of it almost immediately as a little smile tugged at his lips.

                “You seem to be in a good mood,” Sparrow mused, giving him a bit of a waggling eyebrow.

                Robin laughed. “It’s just a nice day is all.”

                “Sure, it is,” Sparrow answered, rolling her eyes playfully.

                She couldn’t know exactly what was going on and It almost made Robin feel like he was keeping a happy secret. Him, the responsible older brother keeping secrets?  It was kind of nice having this one thing to himself and it made him smile just a bit more.

                “Well, I am going to go make us some tea,” Sparrow said as she passed by him to the kitchen. “Want me to make you a cup?”

                “Yes, please and probably make one for Asra as well.”

                “You rang?” Asra chuckled as he appeared from the back smiling wide, “is it teatime?”

                “Sparrow is making some now,” Roblin said as he came around the counter, meeting the magician halfway.

                Asra sighed happily as he slipped into Robin’s arms with snake like grace. “Mmm, so warm,” he hummed, “I was just thinking about how happy I would be to be in your arms again.”

                Robin laughed again. “Really, I hadn’t noticed.”

Side Note:

*This one comes from the idea of the fact that Robin and Asra share a heart so they share kind of a secret feeling. A smile if you will. The twins kind of know about it but would never fully understand. In the past Robin and Asra shared a more mental magic connection but now it’s through the heart which I think works better for them.

[theerurishipper]

Well, it's finally happening. After 25 years of Ash and Pikachu, their story has come to an end. The anime has been a part of my life for... probably most of it. I wasn't here from the very beginning, but I was here for a lot. And even if I strayed off for a while I always came back to it with fond memories. It's been a great source of comfort for me for a long time. It's the source of many cherished memories and it's had a lot of impact on me. Especially SM, which carried me through a rough patch of my life and was also a part of one of the happiest times in my entire life. Especially Ash and Pikachu, who are not the most complex of characters but still meant a whole lot to me, more than they probably should. I admired them and looked up to them, and these characters and this show gave me a lot of strength during some rough times. They meant the world to me. It's really, really hard to see them go. JN hasn't been the best series for a variety of reasons but looking back at it now I find myself looking at it fondly. No matter how much it annoyed me a lot of times, it was still such a great experience to open YouTube to watch the new episode with the shitty subtitles and watch the characters I loved so much. It still gave me so much joy and I can never forget that. That's all over now.

But if one thing makes it better, it's the thought that I can go back. Even if it's over, everything that we've seen so far is still there. And they'll still remind me of the good times I've had. Despite some mishaps along the way, every series has managed to make me look at it fondly. I've not been the biggest fan of MPM for a while, but perhaps I will look back on it fondly as well. And that makes it just a little better, the knowledge that it's still there for me, if I want to look back. Our journey together might be over, but we still have the pictures of our travels and the memories of all the good times. And I also know that the fandom will keep the memory of the show alive, even as we all move on to different things. I won't forget anything about this show and my experience with it. And I know it's also true for some others. The journey isn't over for Ash and Pikachu either, it's just that we won't get to see it. But we can always imagine, we can create, we can keep it going as long as we want. Just because we've reached the destination doesn't mean it's all for nothing, or that it's all over. There are other places to go, lots of things we can do at the place we've spent so long trying to reach.

The thing that I'm certain about is that Pokeani will always have a very special place in my heart. I will never forget the show or the memories I have had with it. I'm so glad I discovered this show. And I want to thank everyone who made it come to life, even if they'll never see it. So thank you to everyone who worked on this show, y'all made something so important and special to so many people, something that brought so many people together and gave them something to love. Thank you to all the fans who made art and wrote fics and made posts about this show and kept such a happy community alive. When the show disappointed me sometimes y'all were there, and the community made my days brighter just as much as the show did.

And thank you Ash and Pikachu, who were always there for me when things were hard, who made me smile and laugh and always brightened my day. I've looked up to you, I've loved and cherished the memories, and I will always hold you close to my heart. I'll miss you. So much.

Thank you.

[enchantestuff]

promises - red bull Sebastian vettel

as I promised just complete fluff and no smut. our poor seb isn't appreciated enough so here is the four times Sebastian jokingly proposed to you and the one time he actually did 

NOT MY GIF

warnings; none really, fluff (btw this made me realise how TERRIBLE I am at writing fluff sorry <3 )

2.1k words, she's long

Sebastian was nervous about getting a new engineer, he so badly wanted to win a championship with Redbull and Christian had confided in him, telling him that this engineer and their new competitive car, would help him live out his dream of being a Formula One champion.

It was nearing the start of the new season and Sebastian had still yet to meet the person that he would be talking to under his most stressful moments and who he had to have full faith in while driving his car. He had begun to think that maybe he never would meet his new engineer when he received a call from Christian, telling him that they both would take place in a race for the Redbull youtube channel, where Sebastain and his new engineer would race against Mark and his, the twist being that the engineers would be the ones driving, not the drivers themselves. Sebastian agreed knowing that it would be a great way to remove any awkwardness between the two of you.

Only a few days later Sebastian was standing on a random racetrack, talking to Mark when he noticed Mark's engineer walking towards them with a beautiful young lady by his side, who Sebastian assumed was his very own engineer. “Hi! It's so nice to meet you Sebastian! My name's Y/N,” you cheerfully greeted him as you shook his hand.

A smile immediately appeared on Sebastian's face at your warm nature and he knew you two would get along just fine. “Please, call me Seb, '' he grinned as he brought a kiss to your knuckles, “now, are you ready to beat these idiots” he joked as he cocked his head towards your opponents.

“Oh, we are going to make a great pair, Seb” you joked as you accepted a helmet off Christian and climbed into the car, getting comfortable inside of the driver's seat.

“Are you a good driver?” Sebastian asked as he secured himself in the passenger's side of the car.

“I don't think I can call myself a good driver with a future Formula One champion sitting right next to me” you smiled as you drove the car to the start line. Sebastian smiled before he braced himself as the flag spun, indicating the start of the race. His head knocked against the headrest as you sped through the track, blocking Mark's engineer as he tried to overtake you and weaving through deadly corners with minimal braking.

It was when the car drifted across the finish line that Seb turned towards you with a wide grin plastered on his face, his heart was thumping hard in his chest with adrenaline. “Please marry me” he joked and you laughed as you high fived him, pleased with your small victory.

* * *

The atmosphere around the paddock was tense, the drivers championship standings were close. Sebastian could almost taste the victory, but he still had a lot of work to do. He had what he would consider a terrible qualifying and had spent the whole night before the race brainstorming ideas on how to improve his time, however nothing seemed to be working.

Everyone was stressed in the Redbull motorhome the following day, which was never something you liked to see, but you understood it as you too had a sleepless night. You pulled Seb to the side the minute you saw him and told him of the new strategy you dreamt up late last night. He was hesitant since it hadn’t been approved by anyone, but he was willing to take the risk if it meant he would win.

“Are you sure?” he had asked you, looking intently into your eyes.

You shook your head. “No not really, but I know you and I know you're the only driver that could make it work” you confided. You both stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Seb pulled you in for a hug, he gently stroked your back as he squeezed you into him. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and hugged him back with just as much force.

“I trust you” he whispered into your ear and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

“Good luck” you spoke as you gave him a final squeeze and pulled away. You bit your nails out of anticipation and shot Seb an encouraging grin as he climbed into his car.

The race went much better than expected and although Christian was furious that you didn't run the plan through him first, he was satisfied that Seb was currently P1 with a final lap to go. Your nerves were at an all time high throughout the race and you could feel the grin creeping onto your face as the end got closer and closer.

It was when Sebastian crossed the checkered flag that you let out a relieved laugh. “P1 Seb! P1! '' you grinned as you spoke to him through his earpiece.

“Ahhhh thank you, Y/N! Will you and your strategy marry me please?” he laughed

“Congratulations,” you smiled “I’ll see you up on the podium”

You practically ran to the podium with the rest of the team, grinning up at Sebastian as he lifted the trophy into the air and you could almost swear he was grinning right back at you. You clapped and hollered at him and a blush crept up your cheeks when you saw him mouth a “Thank you” in your direction.

* * *

It was inevitable that you and Seb would become close, but you two had a very different relationship compared to the other drivers and their engineers. While the other pairs spent their time going over the car's performance and new strategies, you spent yours pressed up against the wall of your office while Sebastian kissed you with as much force as he could muster. Your most heated and intimate moments were just after a race when he was full of energy and you were full of pride.

Behind closed doors you and Sebastian could almost be compared to lovers, but out in the public eye you two kept things strictly professional, which is why you were full of shock the night that Sebastain had won his title.

The whole Redbull garage and the majority of the drivers went out to celebrate Sebastian as well as an amazing season. You had congratulated him at the start of the night, you shared a quick kiss when you were sure nobody was looking and he had bought you a drink. You hadn't seen him since, however and spent the last few hours talking to random drivers and team principals.

You almost jumped out of your skin when you felt two hands land firmly on your waist. You turned your head to see a tipsy Sebastian Vettel smiling at you with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “And there's the main man himself,” you giggled as you turned around to face him.

“I missed you,” he blurted out as his hands travelled dangerously low for a public event.

“Did you?” you asked “you're the one that disappeared for an hour” you continued as you tapped his chest.

“Kimi wanted to take shots,” he grinned as one hand moved to cup your bum.

“Sebastian!” you scolded as you swatted his hand away.

“What? It's not like i've never done that before”

“Well yeah, but-but not in public’ you whispered as you looked around, wondering if anyone had noticed the exchange between the two of you.

“I want you,” Sebastian declared, suddenly looking much more sober as he stared into your eyes.

“Let's take this conversation outside” replied as you took a step away from him. Sebastian sighed as he took your hand and led you out the doors, he didn’t care who saw as you both walked by, he didn’t care about anything anymore, he was sick of hiding his feelings for you from everyone. He wanted people to know you were his, he wanted to hold your hand in the paddocks and kiss you for good luck before a race.

Sebastain could feel his heart hammering in his chest as you paced back and forth in front of him, your hands rubbing your arms for warmth. He took a step towards you and grabbed your face with his hands. “Look at me. I want to make us official” you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off “No listen to me. I need to say this. i don't want to sneakily glance at you during meetings anymore. I want to marry you one day. God! I want to marry you, Y/N! Is that not obvious?”

“Ok” you spoke, a blush rose to your cheeks and you cheekily grinned at him.

‘What?” Sebastian stuttered

“Let's make it official”.

* * *

You and Sebastian had been publicly dating for a little over a year and you were beyond happy. It was currently his birthday and you woke up early to make him breakfast. You both had celebrated the night before and you had to admit you were still sore but you wanted his day to be as special as him.

Sebastian tossed and turned in his sleep, frowning as he felt the cold sheets next to him instead of your warm body. His eyes fluttered open as his eyebrows furrowed. A smile soon made its way onto his face as he smelt the heavenly scent of breakfast. He turned to stand up but immediately sat back down at the sound of your voice. “No! Dont get up!” you pleaded and he laughed at the sight of you struggling to hold the breakfast tray in your hands.

“You shouldn't have, liebe” he muttered as he helped you place the breakfast tray on the bed.

“Maybe” you shrugged as you sat down next to him, “but I wanted to, now go on! Try it!” you encouraged as you practically shoved the plate into his face.

“Okay, okay” he laughed as he defensively put his hands up. You watched him as he put a fork full of food into his mouth, his eyes involuntarily shut as a quiet moan left his mouth. “Mmm marry me” he said once he swallowed the food.

“Is it okay?” you asked nervously as you played with your hands, it was your first time cooking for him and although it was just breakfast, you still wanted to make a good impression.

Sebastians head flipped in your direction, a shocked look plastered on his face. “It's better than okay, darling. Thank you. I love it. I love you”

Your heart fluttered once you heard those three words come out of his mouth. You grinned so hard that your cheeks began to hurt. “Oh god, please say something” he pleaded and he began to think that he spoke those words too soon.

“I love you, Sebastian” you spoke as you wrapped your arms around him and straddled his hips, placing kisses all over his face before finally collecting your lips.

* * *

It was yours and Sebastains anniversary but you both had decided that you wouldn't do anything special, you were just going to get takeout and watch a movie.

You pulled into the house with the food in your hands. You unlocked the door and called out to your boyfriend, “Honey, I’m home!” you joked, locking the doors behind you kicking your shoes off. You placed the food on the table next to the door and turned around, the sight in front of you shocking you as you let out a loud gasp.

Sebastian was kneeling on the floor with a ring in his hand, rose petals littered around him. You couldn't focus on the gorgeous dinner he had laid out on the table or the sweet music playing on the radio, you could only look at his glossy eyes and nervous face.

“Y/N, darling, I love you. I think i've loved you since I first laid eyes on you on that racetrack.” he laughed and looked down at the floor before connecting his eyes with yours again,”You have been with me through my lowest lows and my highest highs and somehow still manage to look at me with a glimmer in your eyes. There's nothing I can’t do with you by my side. So i’m asking-no-i'm practically begging you to finally marry me, for real this time. Will you do me the honours and become my wife?”

You nodded at him with tears in your eyes as you took small steps towards him. “I want to hear you say it, liebe”

“Yes, Sebastian! Of course I’ll marry you”

[kittyisaddicted]

Stages

Somewhere this year I just gave up. No, I gave in. Gave in to the irresistible sponge that is my endorphin and serotonin seeking bubbly thing of a brain. My return to tumblr was a hell ride from start to now, and I enjoyed every bit of a sick second of it. 

Going through new and still ongoing shows with you all made me realise that my personal deal with media addiction comes in stages–just like grief, in a way. So bare with me for the 7 stages of (my) media addiction. 

Stage 1

The encounter. Gifs, scenes, little snippets from fics. The inacurate quotes kind of thing that makes me go “This might be interesting”. Going into the tags, a short google search (because tumblr search, you know, … sucks), the like. Finally googling: Where to watch …. And maybe having the luck to not need another streaming service grave for my earnings or a VPN to enjoy another mind and heart soaking piece of fiction. 

Stage 2

The beginning. Episode 1, the story unfolds. I’m chill. Watching episode 2. Seeing scenes I already know because of, you know, tumblr. All seems normal so far. Until I binge episode 3, 4 and 5 and stay up late for episode 6 and maybe get late to wor…

Stage 3

The pull. Or: the binge. If I’m lucky, there’s only one season so far. Or *only* 3 (though no one of us was lucky to have only 3 seasons of Malec Shadowhunters Malec). If there’s more, then welp, because life is now circling around watching episode after episode like earth circles the sky, no hostage taken, every spare second is dedicated to w a t c h i n g! Also, every second of the day is about thinking and every night is dreaming about it. I’m all in. 

Stage 4 

The high noon of addiction. Watching episodes alone is not enough anymore. I rewatch. I re-rewatch scenes on YouTube. I celebrate fan videos there also. My serotonin is up and running, i’m basically high all the time. I heavily search tumblr for meta, for gifs, for meta gifs. My brain and my heart are full, no space for anything else. Working is hard, living a normal life even harder. I’m constantly on my devices, consuming everything I can find, feeling both happy so many creators already did an amazing job and sad about possibly missing out something important, pure FOMO ensues. On the outside I try to seem normal, on the inside I’m craving MORE. MORE. MORE. 

Stage 5

The crawling. Now. Comes the phase where I not only unconsciously know but fully realise that there are actors behind those amazing scenes. That there where a lot of people putting a lot of work into this so it turns out as amazing at it is. And because I never get enough, I dive into their accounts, the meta about them and their relationships, the conventions, the interview snippets, the behind the scenes, the bloopers, there is. so. much. to. see. and. read!!! I am living in an alternate universe basically, borders between reality and fiction fade, the soundtrack is on heavy rotation, I quote both the show and the actors without having any mutuals in real life who know what I am talking about. 

Stage 6

The assimilation. I wake up from a fever dream. Life get’s easier again. As the whole show and cast live now rent free in my head, I can start to shift my interest from the original to the fan made bits and peaces, aka the fan fiction–canon, noncanon, doesn’t matter as long as the writing is in character and I get to know them better through the eyes of talented authors. The tags have a special place on the shelves of my well curated tumblr and ao3 lists (because you know, #The Serotonin is stored in the Ao3) and at least five of my brain cells have another content than my latest blorbo. 

Stage 7 

The retreat. My brain leaves me space for new things. I can concentrate again on other things beside them™, like, well, working, cooking, sleeping, you name it. My sweeties have a special place in my heart from now on, and I will always willingly come back to them for comfort. But right now, the urge to follow everything about them, to dedicate everything I have to them, is gone or, better, just a silent thought in the back of my head. 

[studiojeon]

bitterness in goodbye | jjk

this is part of my troubled outsiders series. sadly, you can't read this as a stand alone (meaning: feel free to check the previous parts ♡)

| summary | - You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

warnings: none (?) i mean chaeryeong insults jungkook which is an atrocity in itself but-

contents: we diving into the angst my friends. jungkook is an innocent, kind hearted soul, i promise. oc's got the feels (out oct. 1) for jk. idol!jungkook × student!reader.

author's note: I EDITTED THIS FROM MY PHONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS? also, thank u for the amount of support i've been receiving lately, i appreciate everyone lots. feel free to ask away or suggest anything btw, i would love to write for any prompts you guys come up with. 💞💗💖💘💓💕

words: 1.57k

playlist: honey by halsey

Four weeks later, the receptionist of your apartment complex hands you over a cardboard box with the hoodie Jungkook and you had talked about that day on the Han River. Jungkook kept pestering you to please please please send him your address for confidential purposes, which you knew had to do with his determination to literally provide anything that catches your eye right away. You assumed it was a sensitive topic for the boy whether people had purposefully taken advantage of his money before, so you didn’t dare to say anything when the man asked you for your size literally two hours after he dropped you off, scared to either reject his solidare intentions or piss him off for bringing unwanted memories back. In  your defense, your personality type keeps oscillating between INFP and INFJ so it’s only natural that you take extra care to make sure those around you have as much peace of mind as possible in your presence. 

As pretty and comfortable the piece of soft clothing is, an important factor is missing, something that you can’t recreate buying two of the same size and color, and that is Jungkook's escence and how good it looks on him in comparison to anyone else in the world. Meaning, you didn’t like it as much as you thought initially would. And it absolutely did not have to do with the fact that your short stature made you look like a toddler who stole their dad’s jacket.

Still, in order to show Jungkook how much you appreciate his gift, you bring it to work the next day, and the rest of the days after that, with the excuse that with winter rolling around you needed something to keep you warm in the office. Jungkook doesn’t miss the opportunity to confirm your assumptions regarding your appearance whenever he barges into your office randomly throughout the week, arguing that ”you look so adorable” and doesn’t stop for two weeks more, until he gets used to seeing you wearing something you shared with him. Which doesn’t help ease your growing romantic feelings for him whatsoever.

Because yeah, you liked Jeon Jungkook, just like every human being with eyes and sexual desires, except, you didn’t just like him in a superficial way, and that’s where the problem with him resides. Though you are sure everyone has fallen in love with the endearing boy at some point - especially the excluded and invalidated women of society - you can’t help but place some blame on you for allowing yourself to be swooned so goddamn easily. Your mom had said to you at some point to be wary of the way some men would talk to you when you grew up, their intention usually being getting inside your pants, which has happened to you more times than you'd like to admit. And with the argument that she knew you better than anyone, she claimed you would comply right the second someone talked sweet to you; you despised the fact that was the case with Jungkook (and Jungkook only), although he had never shown any sexual innuendos. What your feelings could do to your relationship with Jungkook and your rather chill lifestyle scared you to death, shiver me timbers and all that shit, having romantic feelings for someone else is embarrassing, especially when your chance with them has been scratched out the second you laid eyes on them.

Jungkook sits on your couch, legs spread on your thighs as you two pretend to watch some series on netflix. “I don’t buy for a second the act you’re putting on right now.” he speaks randomly after staring at your deep-in-thought state for a few minutes and laughs when you snap at him for not letting you overthink in peace. “What’s going on?”

Truth is, you don’t fucking know. A few hours before he arrived at your place (you had to pick him up at the dorm and sneak the both of you through the subterranean parking lot, because god forbid someone saw Jungkook arriving at some chick’s dorm on a saturday afternoon) you swore you would be able to conceal whatever emotional turmoil you had going inside of you without compromising your regular behaviour around the man, but when push comes to shove, it’s impossible to keep yourself from wondering how far you could go before that special someone found out what was going on inside of your head.

Jungkook’s phone rings in his pocket with some annoying tone he had downloaded illegally from youtube the same day the company had handed over the device as a gift for him (you still were a little bitter over how they neglected the rest of the staff but you also knew it was kind of impossible for the human kind to just gift a-thousand-dollar-phones to almost five hundred people out of solidarity). “Hyung?” he picks up, still wary of your unusual behaviour, concerned eyes looking at you. “No, uh- i’m with Yugyeom right now.” and your heart shatters into a million pieces.

You have been suspecting for a while that Jungkook is being hesitant to introduce you to his social circle. Although, you’ve tried your best not to take it personal, it is getting harder to resist the urge to ask him what the fuck is up with that. The fact that Jungkook had to lie about the person he was hanging out with broke your ego; he could’ve just said he was with a friend, right? You suddenly feel like you’re fifteen again, when the guy you liked would love you in the dark but pretend he didn’t know you in the light. 

Holding your tears back, you gently push him off and make your way towards the bathroom in the most nonchalant way you could. This is your fault for falling for the nice popular guy in the first place, you remind the reflection staring back at you. Still, as bad as it hurt, there was no way you were going to cry over a stupid boy, let alone when he was literally sat on the next room. He can go fuck himself if he thinks he can just toss this behind as if nothing ever happened.

You text Chaeryeong instead.

“chaery bom bom: i swear to god i gonna throw hands the next time i see the bitch.

chaery bom bom: like who the hell does he think he is? fucking squidward looking asshole.

chaery bom bom: he ain’t even that cute bub, you’ll get over him. i know jinyoung wouldn’t treat you like this”

You sigh. Chaeryeong has been enamored with the idea of you and his former company colleague from GOT7 since the day she met the guy (which was somewhere around ten years ago), and although he was all that, you didn’t like his quiet and cold aura, it intimidated the fuck out of you (Jungkook was the entire opposite of that).

You spray on some perfume just to have an excuse as to why you randomly ran to the bathroom when Jungkook’s inquiring eyes stare as you sit back on the couch, which is exactly what he does. “You done with your call?” you ask, bitter.

Jungkook frowns, a bit taken aback by the sudden question but still unaware of the way his words had made you feel, not even sensing the hostile change in your mood. “Yes, it was one of our managers. He was wondering if I could come back to reshoot some...-thing.”

Okay, now you kind of understand as to why he lied in the first place and to say you feel guilty is an understatement. “I supposed he backed down once you mentioned you were hanging out with Yugyeom.” playfulness makes its appearance on your tone and Jungkook rolls his eyes at you, tongue poking on the inside of his slightly red cheeks.

“Sorry for that” he moves closer and cuddles your arm, like a sad guilty puppy. “It’s just- I don’t want them asking questions''.

You understand. He is a very reserved and private person after all. It took you a bit to crack him open yourself. Plus, you kind of share that trait with him, you’d hate it too if people were constantly on your nerves for the people you decide to hang out with. 

And that’s all it takes to forgive him. Not very cash money of you.

“You better not pull that shit again, though” you shift in his hold and he looks up at you. One look into your eyes and he knows what you mean. “I’ll kick you out.”

After nodding, Jungkook resumes his concentration on the series you picked out for him. Due to your short attention span, you are very picky about what you invest your time in, especifically with audiovisual pieces of media, so Jungkook trusts you whenever you recommend something on very rare occasions. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was busy attacking your kitchen counters for snacks (which you didn’t have) when you mentioned Money Heist. “Munch on some grapes instead” you suggested to soothe his disappointment.

You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

[ilici]

gentle.

Summary: After bring with George for years you’re ready for the next big part in your relationship.

Female Reader

NSFW MINORS DNI

Warnings: Fingering, oral (female receiving), virginity taken

Word Count: 2838

Y/N sighed, as she was scrolling through Twitter, seeing a lot of people celebrating Easter together. She envied the people who got to celebrate Easter with their loved ones and significant other. Yet here she was, miles away from her significant other, although they’ve been together for 5 years, she moved away to study abroad leaving her boyfriend behind in Brighton. Y/N was a well known fashion designer, and she was also known for her ongoing YouTube channel that she has had for 8 years. “This sucks.” She whined to her roommate, Lily, who only gave her an annoyed look, “You’ve been complaining for the past six fucking hours, you’re literally leaving to go see him in two hours. Shut up.” She said, while Y/N threw a pillow at her, mumbling incoherent words under her breath. “Shut up, let me mope.” She said, with a dramatic eye roll.

Getting up and off the couch, going into her room to finish packing, she grabbed her phone. “Hey Siri, call Karl.” She said to her phone, which replied with, “Calling Karl..” Hearing the ringing sound, she waited till her friend picked up, and she soon heard the ringing stop and Karl’s voice speak up. Clicking the speaker button she smiled, “Hi Karl!” She greeted him kindly, “Hey Y/N! What’s up?” He asked, and Y/N looked around grabbing some extra clothes and stuffing them into her suitcase. “I am going to go see George tomorrow, but my flight leaves tonight. I want to have a special night with him, and I don’t know what to wear. I called you because you have good fashion sense.” She explained to him, and Karl smiled, as he clicked the FaceTime option, and Y/N quickly accepted it. Karl’s face soon popped up on her screen, and he waved vigorously, “Okay, help me choose.” She said getting up from her floor and walking towards her bed.

On her bed was three outfits, all lingerie sets. “Which one do you think would be good?” She asked, and Karl examined the clothes, “Well the violet set looks like you would wear it for a kinky night, the red seems too predictable, and the blue, well I think it’s the only color he can truly see. Plus it looks the most fanciest out of them all.” He admitted, and Y/N nodded her head, “Okay, I am truly surprised you aren’t embarrassed at the fact that I just showed you lingerie.” She said to him truthfully, as she grabbed the blue lingerie set, putting it in the suitcase. Karl just laughed, “I am but a friend is in dire need of help. I also find it ironic that you are a fashion designer and couldn’t choose between them.” He said, laughing once again and Y/N just scoffed, “I got indecisive, leave me be.” She groaned, and Karl just put his hands up in defense. “Okay okay.” He said, before he looked at her, “Wait, did you design those?” He asked, and Y/N just smiled a bit.

“Yeah I haven’t released them yet, I am dropping them on the first of May.” She informed him, and he nodded, “All your designs look so cool, look I am even wearing your hoodie you made for George’s merch.” He said, panning his phone camera down to show the hoodie. Y/N smiled, and shook her head, “Looks great, well I gotta go now. I will speak to you later, bye Karl.” She said, waving to him, and he waved back bidding her goodbye as well. Now that she was all packed, she sighed to herself a little nervous about how he would react to her outfit. Shaking her thoughts away, she got dressed in a comfortable outfit to wear on the plane ride there, an oversized jumper and sweat pants that she stole from George last time she had visited him. Texting him, she told him she was about to head out to the airport. “I can not believe I will be arriving at 4 in the morning, that’s just awful.” She whispered to herself, walking into the living room.

“Are you ready?” Lily asked, and she nodded her head, a little nervous. “Sorta.” She told her, and her roommate just patted her shoulder, “You’ve got this.” She told her, and the two walked out of their shared house getting inside the car. “The drive to the airport is about an hour, are you hungry?” Y/N asked, and Lily nodded, “A bit yeah.” She said, and Y/N nodded, “We can get fast food on the way there.” She told her, and the two were now driving. “Have you told George that you are moving back to Brighton yet?” She asked, starting up a conversation and Y/N shook her head, “No, I haven’t yet. I want to tell him in person, you know?” Y/N said, and the other just nodded in understanding. “I still can’t believe you’re just giving me the house.” Lily said, still in disbelief that Y/N is signing the house in her name, “You deserve it, you’ve helped me so much when I first moved here. You really deserve it Lily.” She told her smiling at her softly.

After a much longer drive than anticipated from traffic, Y/N was now at the airport, “I’ll miss you.” Lily said, and Y/N frowned, “I’ll come and visit when I can, and please make sure to keep safe. I’m having my stuff shipped to my house in two days, please make sure that the people I hired are careful with my stuff.” She asked, and Lily just nodded smiling a bit, before she hugged her friend, waving goodbye to her. “I’ll see you whenever I come back to visit.” Y/N said, as her flight was called. “Bye Lils.” She said, and soon walked with her luggage towards her plane. Shooting George a quick text, she boarded the plane and was not ready for the long plane ride. She luckily got first class, and got her own section to herself. Getting in her pod, she settled in and quickly drifted off to sleep. Shortly after, she was awoken by a voice through the speakers telling the passengers they were landing. Groggily she looked at her phone, seeing that it was 3:57 in the morning.

Getting up she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, stretching a bit as she was in a uncomfortable chair for hours, slowly she walked out, and sleepily walked to the baggage claim. Waiting for her suitcase to appear, she grabbed it and turned around, looking for George. Not seeing him, she turned her phone off airplane mode, and saw that George texted her and said he was waiting outside of her exit. Walking out, she nearly gasped as the cold bitter air struck her face, “Sleepy?” She heard the all familiar voice from beside of her. Smiling she turned and saw George standing there, “Hi baby.” He said, wrapping her into a hug, “Here let me get this for you, the car is warm and waiting.” He said, taking her luggage from her. Y/N smiled at his kind gesture, and walked with him, their fingers interlaced. “How was the flight?” He asked, as he put her suitcase in the back, Y/N just shrugged as she got into the passenger seat, “I don’t know, I slept the entire time.” She sheepishly admitted, smiling when George got in the driver side seat.

“Well, when we get to my house, I will let you sleep as long as you want. You must be jet lagged.” He said, pulling out and onto the main road, driving to his house. Y/N smiled warmly at him, “Sounds good to me.” She said to him, reaching over and patting his thigh. “Your glasses are really cute you know.” She said, and George just laughed a bit, “They help me see colors, hush.” He mumbled, and Y/N just nodded giggling a bit, “I know baby.” She said, before grabbing one of his hands, interlocking their fingers together. “I have missed you.” She said softly, and George’s heart melted, “I missed you too.” He said, pulling her hand over and kissing the top of her hand. Not long after, they pulled into his house, which was in a gated community. “Let’s go rest sleepy head.” He said, getting out and grabbing her suitcase. The two walked into his house, both immediately falling onto his bed, letting the comfortable mattress welcome them.

Finally, George woke up and decided he would unpack for her, as he quietly did so, his eyes widened and he felt himself blush when he picked up the blue lingerie set. Blushing madly, he placed it neatly in one of the drawers she was using, and shook her awake. “Baby, wake up, it’s one in the afternoon.” He said, and Y/N woke up and smiled at him. “Good-morning.” She said, her voice was quiet with an undertone of raspiness. “Go take a shower, I will fix breakfast.” He told her, and Y/N smiled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she slowly got out of bed, thankful that his house was warm. Grabbing one of his shirts, and a pair of her underwear, she walked to his bathroom which was open and had a window that had a view of the forest behind the house. Taking a quick shower, she got out, and walked into the kitchen in the clothes she got. “Feel better?” George asked, once he saw her enter the kitchen, and Y/N nodded her head, “I always feel so gross on planes.” She mumbled, sitting down and eating.

➽───────────────❥

“I wanted to ask you something.” Y/N spoke up, fidgeting with the hem of the shirt, as George and her were now sitting on his bed. “Yeah what is it?” He asked, looking over at her, “I think I am ready.” She whispered shyly, and George smiled at her, grabbing her hips pulling her onto his lap. “Are you sure baby?” He asked, and Y/N nodded her head slowly, after she thought about it. “Yes, I am ready.” She told him, and George softly kissed her lips, laying her down on her back. “I want you to just lay there, I will do all the work okay baby?” He told her, and Y/N blushed while nodding her head, chewing on her lip in somewhat nervousness and anticipation. George looked at her for permission as he grabbed the hem of his own shirt that was covering her body, nodding slowly Y/N licked her lips, looking away. “No baby, none of that, you have to be watching me, and use your words okay?” He said softly, and Y/N let out a small embarrassed whine, “Yes sir.” she said, looking at him as he pulled her shirt off.

George’s eyes widened when he saw the lingerie on her body, looking up at her in shock, Y/N just flushed fidgeting with her fingers. “When did you put this on?” He asked, and Y/N giggled slightly, “After the shower.” She explained, and George just nodded looking at how beautiful she was like this. Slowly, he put his hands around her back, pulling her back up so she was arching her back. “Stay like this really quickly.” He whispered to her, and Y/N nodded as she felt her lingerie set being unhooked. Slowly pulling it off her body, leaving her bare, Y/N closed her legs and covered her breasts shyly. George melted at her shyness, and gave her a reassuring kiss on her neck before he slowly pulled her arms away. “You don’t need to cover up baby, you’re absolutely beautiful.” He told her truthfully, as he also opened her legs. Letting the image of her like this soak into his brain, he hooked her legs over his shoulders as he kissed her inner thigh.

Feeling herself get chills from this, she watched him, as he scattering kisses on the inside of her thighs. “If it get’s too much, your safe word is ‘red’ okay?” He told her, and Y/N nodded, and he softly tapped her thigh, “Okay.” She said, with her words knowing that’s what he wanted. Slowly, he dipped his head down all the way, softly kissing her clit, feeling her body jump at the new feeling. George, then licked her clit, before sucking on it. Y/N gasped, and arched her back slightly, letting out a surprised moan. Reaching down, Y/N tangled her fingers into his hair, tugging at it a bit, as George ate her out as gently as he could, afraid he’d overstimulate her. Grabbing her hips, he kept them down, as she tried to grind her hips into him. Pulling one hand away, he slowly inserted a finger, and Y/N winced a bit at the pain it brought.

Stopping since he realized she was in pain, he waited till she adjusted, “You can go.” She whispered, and George slowly started thrusting his finger in and out of her. Y/N bit her bottom lip, now feeling more pleasure than pain, noticing she was ready for another, he slowly inserted another finger, now scissoring her. Y/N was now a moaning mess, she was highly sensitive to the newfound pleasure she was receiving and felt something tighten in her stomach. “Feels weird.” She mumbled, motioning to her stomach as she felt it growing. “You’re close baby, it’s okay.” He told her, “Just relax.” He said, rubbing circles on her hip, with his free hand while the other worked on her. Nodding, Y/N closed her eyes tightly as she felt an overwhelming pleasure rake through her entire body. Letting out a loud moan, she arched her back, as George felt her walls clamping around his fingers. Pulling them out, he licked them clean and let her come down from her high.

He pulled away, taking his shirt off, along with his remaining clothes, and grabbed a condom slipping it on. “This will be painful, let me know if I need to stop.” He told her, aligning himself with her entrance. “I’ll be okay.” She said, giving him a reassuring smile. George reached forward, and interlaced their fingers together, as he entered into her. Wincing Y/N dug her nails into the back of George’s hand, and he took that as a signal to stop. Taking in a deep breath, Y/N looked up at him with teary eyes, and George leaned down kissing her passionately. Pulling away from the kiss, Y/N looked at him, “Okay, you can continue.” She whispered, and George leaned down pecking her neck. Finally he bottomed out, groaning at how tight she was around him. Staying still, letting her adjust to his size, soon Y/N squeezed his hands, “Words baby.” He said, and Y/N blushed biting her lip at him, “Move.” She mumbled shyly, and George slowly rocked his hips.

Arching her back, their chests now touching, Y/N let out a strained moan. Keeping at a steady pace, George kissed along her neck, keeping their hands locked together. “Faster.” Y/N moaned out, and George complied speeding up his thrusts. He wanted to make sure her first time was passionate and not sloppy, so he kept his speed but was gentle with her. Moaning loudly, Y/N leaned her head back, clenching around him. George hissed at this, “Don’t do that.” He told her, and Y/N blushed not knowing what she did. Leaving marks all over her neck with the new access, he scattered them along her jawline as well. “I think I’m close.” Y/N said in between moans, and George nodded speeding up just a bit feeling himself growing close as well. “Cum with me baby.” He whispered into her ear, whining Y/N felt herself cum, and George soon after. Pulling out he took the condom off and threw it away, gently grabbing her he walked into the bathroom.

“Let’s take a bath.” He said, setting her on the toilet, turning on the bath. “How warm do you want it?” He asked, her and Y/N looked over still a bit in a haze, “Like, hot tub warm.” She mumbled, and George lightly laughed turning the cold down a bit. Picking her up, he slowly sank down into the tub with her, letting her lean against his chest. Now out of her haze, Y/N relaxed in the water as it kept raising, “George.” She said, and George hummed, “I’m living in Brighton again.” She told him, and George smiled brightly, “That’s great news baby, I’ll get to see you more often, and sooner or later you can move in.” He said, washing her body since she had already washed her hair earlier that day. “I can’t wait for that day.” He continued, kissing her shoulder, smiling. 

[dreamerstreamer]

Sugar & Spice

Pairing: Dream / Clay x gn!reader

Summary: The holidays are here! What better way is there to end the year than with Clay and some cookies?

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: happy holidays, folks! due to popular demand, this year’s holiday special is written for dream. i hope you all sincerely enjoy and have a wonderful day!

You peered down at the bowl in front of you, your eyes narrowing. Needs more... yellow.

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you reached across the counter for a small bottle, quickly unscrewing the cap. Holding it over the bowl, you gently squeezed until a single drop fell atop the fluffy frosting sitting in the center. Your lips quirked upward, a twang of satisfaction running through you.

You hummed as picked up the bowl with one hand and grabbed a wooden spoon with the other. Sticking the spoon in, you began to stir, watching with hopeful eyes as the frosting’s hue slowly began to shift ever so slightly. A few moments later, your arm stilled, pride swelling in your chest at the perfect shade of lime green that stared back at you.

“There we go.”

All of a sudden, a beep filled the air, and you startled. Realization quickly washed over you, and your shoulders sank. The oven’s done preheating, you thought to yourself with a flicker of joy.

Flipping around, you slid the bowl across the counter toward the other bowl of frosting you had already made, then turned on your heel. You reached for the oven mitts hanging on the cabinet door, slipping them on with a grin as your fingers fit perfectly inside. You were about to focus your attention on the silver tray of dough you had laid out earlier when a dash of brown caught your attention. You whirled, your gaze landing on a familiar, furry face who was about six inches too close to your precious icing.

“Patches,” you said slowly, eyeing the paw she had raised over the bowl’s middle, “if you’re about to do what I think you’re going to do, don’t.”

She froze at the sound of your voice, her movements coming to a halt as you inched closer toward her.

“Seriously, Patches. You’ll get sick.”

She blinked at you, her big, green eyes scanning your face as her whiskers twitched. You held your breath as you stared back, your fingers crossing behind your back.

Her tail flicked once—twice.

Then she lowered her paw.

You nearly sank to the ground in relief, quickly leaning over to snatch the bowl away and clutch it to your chest. “Thank goodness,” you mumbled to yourself, your eyes squeezing shut. “I thought I was going to have to sta—“

“Hi.”

You yelped, leaping with a start as you whipped around, your fingers curling around the edge of the bowl. On the other side of the kitchen island stood Clay, his hand scratching behind Patches’ ear as she nuzzled up into his touch. As soon as your eyes landed on him, you let out a deep breath, your hand resting atop your pounding heart.

“Holy crap,” you breathed, sending him a shaky smile as you straightened, “you scared me.”

He flashed you a crooked grin, pulling his hand away from Patches. The moment he did, she leapt off the counter, scampering away down the hall. “Sorry. I just I finished streaming and wanted to come see what you were up to.” His eyes darted to the mitts on your hands then the counter behind you. “What are you baking?”

Your lips curled up into a small smile as you placed the bowl of frosting down next to you, quickly grabbing the tray of dough you had made earlier. “Gingerbread cookies!” You sent him a wink. “But with a twist.”

He took a step toward you, blinking down at the array of squares and circles littering the platter before his eyes caught on a particular shape. “Is that... my YouTube profile picture?”

Your eyes curved into tiny crescents. “Yeah! Aren’t they cute?”

He bobbed his head, his emerald gaze crinkling at the corners. “Very.”

You walked toward the oven, pulling it open with a gloved hand. “I have all the icing ready to go for after it’s done baking,” you said, careful not to burn yourself as you slid the tray inside, “and I even got some fondant for your eyes and smile.” You pouted as you pushed the door closed. “I was going to use black licorice, but I figured it might not taste as good.”

While you pressed a few buttons on the stovetop, Clay leaned against the counter, dipping a finger into the bowl of frosting before bringing it back to his lips. He eyed his finger curiously for a moment, then flicked his tongue out to lap up the white cream. He tilted his head, a smile tugging at his lips as he swallowed. “Mm, sweet. You sure put a lot of thought into this, didn’t you?”

You walked over to him, leaning over to tap his nose with your clean finger. “It’s a special time of year. It’d just be sad if I didn’t put in at least a little extra effort.”

The smile he sent you was absolutely dazzling, and you could have sworn you felt your head spin at the sight. “Well,” he said, “you went the extra mile, so I think you’ve done more than enough.”

Pulling the oven mitts off, you hung them back on the cabinet, eyeing the bowls of frosting. “I still have to wait for them to bake,” you began, counting in your fingers, “decorate, then clean, but after all that, then I’ll be finished.”

Clay’s hand slid over the counter toward you. “Can I help?” His gaze averted from yours, something akin to embarrassment flickering within. “I-I’m not an artist or anything, bu—“

You put your hand on top of his. “Yes,” you said without missing a beat. “Absolutely. Of course, you can.” A wicked grin flashed across your face. “If you also help me clean.”

His expression mirrored your sly one. “Like I would let you do it alone, anyways.” He wrinkled his nose. “Just don’t send any pictures of the cookies I decorate to George or Sap, though.” He nearly shivered at the idea. “They’ll definitely clown me.”

You laughed at the thought of the inevitable string of mocking messages he would be sure to receive, a wave of affection surging through you. His stare was fond as he added, “How long do we have to wait?”

Your eyes glanced at the timer on the oven. “Like ten, fifteen minutes, tops. It won’t be that long.”

He pushed off from the counter, standing up straight. “What do you wanna do for fifteen minutes, then?”

You hummed, pursing your lips for a moment before your face lit up. “Cuddles?”

He blinked at you once, then chuckled. “Cuddling, it is, then.”

You let out a small victory cry, missing the way his eyes softened. You turned on your feet, gesturing to your backside. “Help me take off my apron?”

He padded up to you with a hum, his hands reaching over to grasp at the fabric securing the apron around your waist. His fingers were warm against the small of your back, and with a few tugs, the knot unraveled in an whirl. You easily slipped the apron off your shoulders and around your head, flashing Clay another grin as you placed it atop the counter. “Thank you.”

When he returned your thanks with a soft, “You’re welcome,” you turned on your heel for the living room. You had made it about five feet when a warm hand suddenly wrapped around your wrist, stopping you in place.

You paused, turning to look at Clay over your shoulder. “Clay?” you murmured.

He raised his eyebrows at you, his smile curling into a smirk as he pointed above the two of you. “Would you look at that.”

You glanced up, and you felt your throat tighten.

Of course. Mistletoe.

You had nearly forgotten he had hung it up the day before, mischief dancing across his face as you rolled your eyes at him. Shaking your head, you couldn’t stop the lovestruck smile from spreading across your face as you lowered your head, your gaze locking onto his. He was a dork, but he was your dork, and that was all that mattered.

In an instant, his arms were around your waist, pulling you toward him until your chests were flush against one another. You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning up to press your lips to his. He grinned into the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth and you made a small noise that only made him smile harder. You ran a hand through his hair, digging your fingers into the base of his locks. He tasted sweet like sugar, and you could have sworn you could taste the frosting he had licked just a few minutes prior.

You parted with a gasp, his forehead leaning against yours as the two of your calmed your beating hearts, his hot breath fanning over your face. His lips were rosy and swollen, his hair disheveled this way and that. You were sure you looked just as messy, if not more, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Instead, you simply smiled at him.

“Happy now, lover boy?” you quipped. When he nodded, looking like a lovesick puppy, you tugged at his arm with a laugh. “Alright, let’s go cuddle, now.”

You pulled him toward the living room with ease with a bounce in your step, lunging for the couch. With a small cry of victory, you tumbled into the couch cushions, Clay following right after you. The moment he sat down, you flipped over, snuggling into his side as he slung his arm around you.

A comfortable silence settled over the two of you, your hearts beating in sync with one another as you simply basked in each other’s presences. You were practically drowning in his warm touch and the steadily growing scent of gingerbread.

Rolling over slightly, you traced a finger over the vein in his arm, murmuring softly, “This year’s been kind of wild, hasn’t it?”

You could practically feel him roll his eyes beside you as a chuckle flew from his lips. “Don’t even get me started. I could spend ages talking about how crazy everything’s been.”

You shifted in his arms, your eyes scanning his face. Something in your chest felt hazy as your gaze traced over the curve of his cheek and the slope of his nose.

“But not all of it has been bad, you know?” you murmured, reaching a hand up to his cheek. As your skin met his, he leaned into your touch, your thumb tracing over the myriad of freckles dusting his face. “You’ve done a lot of crazy cool stuff. Look at how much your channel’s grown—how much you’ve grown. You even won a Streamy award.”

His cheeks flushed, and he buried his face into your hand, his lips pressing against your palm as his voice came out slightly muffled. “You give me too much credit.”

You lowered your hand and leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. “You deserve all of it and more,” you whispered, just for him to hear. “You’re more amazing than you know. You made your dream come true.” Your gaze was sincere as you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, feeling him shiver beneath you. “Little Clay would be so proud.”

As you pulled away from him, you took in the sight of his rosy cheeks and viridian eyes, his lips parted in awe as he simply stared at you. You felt your face grow hot underneath his gaze, and you lowered your eyes to your lap, clasping your hands together. Even just his stare made you so flustered—was it even possible to be so deeply affected by one person?

After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. “How did I get so lucky?”

You lifted your chin, tilting your head at him as your eyebrows knit together. “Well, you did spend literal months studying the YouTube algorithm, and you’re still constantly working on videos,” you pointed out. “Plus, you stream, so I wouldn’t necessarily call all that just lu—“

He shook his head, smiling. “No, no.” He looked at you dead on, and you felt your heart skip a beat. “I mean, how did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “What?”

He reached over, slipping your hand into his as he intertwined your fingers together. “You’re not something I can study for,” he murmured into your ear, his voice wrapping around you like a cozy blanket, “or some plug-in that I can code.” Something warm and gooey melted in your stomach. “You’re just you, through and through, and by some miracle, you’re sitting here with me.”

Your face practically burst into flames, and you most definitely felt yourself starting to turn to putty. You wanted to hide your face in your hand, but he was holding it, so all you could manage was a shy whine. You barely managed to catch a glimpse of his cocky grin before you turned, burying your face in his neck.

“Clay,” you whispered, hoping he wouldn’t notice just how hard your heart was beating, “you are so embarrassing.”

You could hear his smile as he spoke, squeezing your hand. “You love me for it.”

You couldn’t stop a smile of your own from stretching across your face as you squeezed back. “Yeah, I do.”

Slowly, he untangled your hands and wrapped his arms around you, tugging you closer to his chest as you sank into him. You couldn’t think of a better way to spend the holidays, all cuddled and cozied up in Clay’s warm embrace with gingerbread cookies baking in the back. As you drank in his cologne and felt his heartbeat ringing in your ears like a familiar melody, you only had one thing on your mind.

You loved him, you loved him, you loved him.

Just then, there was a deafening crash and the unmistakable clattering of bowls.

You froze in Clay’s arms, your eyes shooting wide open as his hold went slack around you.

There was a beat of silence, followed by a meow.

Your jaw dropped.

Oh my god.

You didn’t allow yourself any time to think before you scrambled off the couch, nearly tripling over your own feet as you raced toward the kitchen, Clay’s voice calling out after you.

“[Y/N]! What’s going on?”

For a few moments, there was only the sound of heavy panting. Then came a loud wail.

“Patches!”

It was far from a perfect holiday, to say the least, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[imjusttpeachy]

bumpy roads & broken promises. (c.h.)

EDIT: Lmaoooo I did not expect this to actually get notes, thanks guys! I already made it onto someone’s fic recs-- I feel special. Actually might end up writing more if this gets more attention. :^)

I wrote this as a vent/comfort fic for myself but figured others might like it. Corpse has been my new safety youtuber ever since the old nosleep reader--deep voice/no face gamer went to shit so... yeah. 

Heavily inspired by @mmonamona ‘s fic “Petty Fights and Lonely Nights” just more angst. 

playlist

feng suave - sink into the floor

current joys - a different age

feng suave - venus flytrap

rei ami - do it right

summary: Corpse gets frustrated with work and snaps at the reader when she tries to ask what’s wrong, triggering a bad memory from a past relationship. 

word count: 2, 932

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, shouting, panic attacks, reference to past relationship trauma (no retelling, nothing detailed)

(angst, hurt/comfort, crying! lots of it)

>>>

“God would you just fuck off already?!”

Frozen. Your body tensed up as the deep growl echoed through the cramped dark room.

You had been staying at your boyfriend’s apartment for about a week while you were on break from college. Flying out from the UK to California so you could spend as much time as you could with him before ultimately having to return to 5am facetimes while drowning in papers and essays.

Even before you’d booked the tickets, Corpse was already apologizing for everything under the sun. The size of his apartment and its cleanliness, the fact that he couldn’t do much more than order take out for you, his irregular sleeping patterns.. the list could go on and on. And while you assured him every time that you didn’t care, that you were coming to see him— not his apartment, not home cooked meals, and definitely not to scrutinize him for things he couldn’t control due to his mental health. But he wouldn’t buy it.

Not one bit.

He’d offer you a weary half-smile, pulling you into his chest or ruffling your hair before placing a soft kiss on your temple and changing the subject. You didn’t press any further knowing how often he was at war with his own mind and couldn’t help but think the worse of every situation.

As the days carried on, you’d spent most of your time tangled up in each other. Whether it be a movie, or playing some co-op games, or even just laying in his bed with him, you could barely stand to spend any time apart. But, of course, you were adults with responsibilities that would tear you from one another eventually. While you did miss his presence every second he wasn’t around, you couldn’t help but try to make his life even better for when he got back and for when you’d eventually have to leave him once again. Now, a week into your stay, his apartment was a good amount tidier than how it’d been when you arrived. The cupboards and fridge were stocked with groceries that would hopefully last for some time after you left, on top of the home made meals you’d make together or for him everyday. New picture frames were hung up on the wall of the two of you that you’d gifted to him when you arrived; it actually started to feel like home. Well, as much as it could without those familiar strong arms wrapped around you every second of the day.

Unfortunately, this evening was one of those times. Corpse had already been locked up in his office for a few hours now, the sounds of button mashing and frustrated exclamations making its way through the thin walls every so often bringing an amused smile to your face. He’d woken up a bit anxious already knowing he’d have to both leave you alone and put up a brave front for the stream that was planned that evening. You didn’t push him or try to talk about it, knowing that it would just make it worse; so you two had spent the day as it normally would (though he always looked and felt on edge) until he was forced to retreat back into that dreaded workspace.

You occupied yourself on your phone and laptop for a while, checking up on friends, reviewing anything you’d need for the upcoming semester, just scrolling through your socials— y’know, the works. But by the time you’d gotten bored with your scrolling, you’d notice it was a perfect time to start dinner that you’d hopefully be able to eat together with Corpse. You’d gotten to work right away, doing your best to be as quiet as you could to not disturb his work as the different aromas began to spread through the small kitchen in his apartment. Finishing up the dishes after the meal was all cooked, you dished up two servings and set them on the coffee table in front of the couch before you went to retrieve your other half.

Turning the knob of his office door slowly, you peered into the dark room; only the silhouette of the floppy mop of hair you adored so much was able to be seen in the dim light of his computer monitors. Taking a hard look at his right-most monitor you notice an editing software pulled up instead of the usual live chat he had on while streaming, so without any worry of interrupting you opened the door and stepped into the room. It was a cozy room for sure, and it always seemed to smell just like him— which of course is a given but with how much time he spent in this room, it was even more so present. Walking up slowly to his right side so you wouldn’t startle him with just your voice you watched his gaze flick to your form before steadying itself back in the monitor. Furrowing your brows at his strange behaviour but not letting it get to you, you opened your mouth to speak.

“I made dinner!” You smiled down at him, taking a few steps back toward the door so he would be able to get out of his gaming chair without you in his space. However, the hunched form of your focused boyfriend didn’t move an inch. Your heart sunk a little at his attitude but decided to just try again.

“Corpse, baby, dinners ready.”

“I’m not hungry.” The short statement left his mouth in a low grumble, if you hadn’t spent all this time with him studying his voice and begging him to speak more to you, you probably wouldn’t have been able make it out at all. You huffed out a sigh, this was new for him, you really hadn’t seen him as anything other than the cuddly baby you’d grown to know and love. But, you thought to yourself, love would come with days like this and it was bound to happen eventually. Trying your best to not get frustrated or angry with his snappy attitude, you kept your voice light and cheery as you tried again to coax him out to eat.

“Corpse you’ve barely eaten today I-“

“I said I’m not hungry.” Startling at the angry tone you’d never heard from him before, you could feel yourself start to get choked up. Pulling your hands up to hug your arms, trying to sooth yourself, you could feel yourself starting to slowly freeze up. Goosebumps ran over your skin, a chill snaking  it’s way up your spine as you gulped, trying your best to muster up the bravery to speak again. You didn’t know what had gotten into him, he knew how the tone affected you— he was usually even the one to comfort you after an episode triggering something like this. As your mouth began to run dry, you took a deep breath deciding that he would definitely come to his senses in the next moments, you opened your mouth to speak again.

“Is everything alri-“

“I’m FINE! I’m not a FUCKING CHILD I don’t need you constantly checking up on me! God would you just fuck off already!”

You didn’t even notice the tears dripping off your cheeks until they splashed against the bare skin of your hand. Slipping into the defense mode you knew so well, your body switched onto autopilot as you began to backpedal out of the room, almost tripping a few times as you sputtered out a choked “okay, I’m sorry,” before closing his door once again and stumbling messily down the hallway to his room. Your mind was moving a thousand miles a minute yet was completely blank at the same time, and before you knew it you were tucked away inside the dark closet in his room.

This was the routine, this is where you’d be safe.

Trying to slow your erratic breathing you hugged your knees even closer to your chest, praying that in some way it would ease your shaking body. But inevitably, you felt the sobs that you’d kept trapped in your throat since you’d left break through. Your chest heaved with the breaths you took to keep your sobs as silent as possible. You thought you had trained yourself well enough for this, you’d done this a million times before— but in the back of your mind you knew that this time it was different. Shrinking into the corner of the closet, the only thing on your mind was all the broken promises he’d sworn to keep.

>>>

Corpse sighed, his body weighing him down in his chair heavily, head aching with all the work he’d been doing that evening. Pulling his attention back, he stretched his arms as his sore eyes glanced over at the clock in the corner of his screen. 11:34pm. Fuck. That much time had passed already? Raking a hand through his hair he yawned sleepily, he knew he should probably spend more time working before calling it a night but all he wanted to do was curl up in bed with you-

Shit.

Finally snapping out of the heavy trance he’d set himself in every time he sat down to edit, he thought back to the last time he had seen you— calling him for dinner where he snapped at you to leave him alone… almost 3 hours ago. The memories of the past moment flooded into his head and seconds later he was scrambling out of his chair and out into the hallway. It was dead silent, Corpse felt like his heart was practically breaking his ribs with how hard it was pounding in his chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Gripping at the right side of his shirt he rushed into the living room, rubbing frantically at his eyes as they darted around the room quickly looking for any sign of you.

“(Y/N), baby?” He rasped out, voice caught in his throat, walking through the living room and spotting the now cold meals she’d prepared waiting uneaten on the coffee table. His heart sunk as he hurried to the kitchen only to see the rest of the meal out on the counter, not doing anything to ease his mind. He called your name again and again; rushing back into the living room his eyes darted to the front door, a tiny bit of relief pricking his system as he saw the door was still locked and latched, as well as seeing your shoes and jacket by the door. Rushing back into the hallway he peeked into the bathroom, flicking on the light switch and with no sign of you, continued down the hallway to his room.

“(Y/N), please baby.” Flicking on the light his eyes scanned the room not catching a single sight of you-- when he heard it. Slowing his breathing down as much as he could in his panicked state he focused in his hearing on the small heaves of air coming from the closet. Stomach dropping, Corpse collapsed onto his knees, legs giving way from underneath him when he realized where you were and what was happening. Crawling his way toward the closet door he stopped right outside of it, he heard your breath hitch and knew you were holding it out of practiced instinct which made him want to vomit. But it wasn’t about him right now, so with a deep breath he finally managed to whisper out.

>>>

“Princess, I’m gonna open the door okay?”

Finally releasing the breath you had been holding, your lungs heaved for air as light flooded into the dark closet. Peeking an eye out from where it was buried in your knees, you blearily made out your boyfriend’s blurry figure kneeling outside the closet. With your body feeling like it was completely out of your control, sobs once again began to rack your huddled form as you shrunk away from him as far as you could into the corner of the closet.

“I’m gonna come in and sit with you okay, I won’t touch you unless you say I can alright?” You could hear some shuffling before hearing the door creak shut again engulfing the both of you in almost complete darkness, save for the few streams of yellow light coming from the cracks of the door. Corpse stared forward in complete silence, long legs bent uncomfortably and body hunched over in the cramped space of the closet trying to give you as much space as possible but knowing that the first step was sitting with you. The man beside you sighed softly, feeling his heart splinter with every heaving sob that raked over you; he could feel his own tears prick at his eyes and a sob starting to well up in his throat but he held them back. Mustering up the courage and will he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“(Y/N) I am so, so fucking sorry,” his voice pitched just above a whisper because he knew if his voice got any deeper that it would startle you and scare you even more than how you were already feeling right now. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. It never should’ve hap-“

“Y- You br- broke your promise.” Your reply came in watery, stuttered breaths; the knot in Corpse’s throat came right back up, tears filling his waterline as much as he tried to keep his composure for your sake.

“I know. I know I did.” The man beside you managed to choke out thinking back to the day where he first lost his temper around you. You’d told him everything about your experience with your past relationships and how you were treated, what you used to cope and what he could do to avoid that in any way possible. He promised that day that he would never again raise his voice, or move too fast even when he was angry or frustrated, and made sure to note down anything that would possibly trigger you to completely avoid altogether. And he kept those promises… until today. Tilting his head to glance over at you, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the closet to see you staring straight ahead, tears pouring endlessly down your damp face as your body still shook with soft cries.

“I can’t lose you (Y/N)” Corpse’s voice shook as he tried to figure out the right things to say that would keep you from walking right out that door.

“I’ll do anything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ll be better, I swear on my life I’ll be better. Anything you need— it’s yours. I just.. I can’t lose you. Not like this.” He hated how much he sounded like he was pleading when he’s the one who fucked up. The last thing he wanted to do was manipulate you into staying with him which was exactly what your ex did when they made the same mistake time and time again; something he swore he’d never even think of doing. But here he was, and here you were glancing up at him with bloodshot eyes, hair sticking to your tear slicked face and body shaking so much you’d think it was below freezing in there.

Tearing your gaze away from his, you heaved a watery, shaky sigh trying your best to get your thoughts in order. While you had your issues, you knew he had his as well; and with as much patience and understanding he gives you with your snappy, frustrated, sad days, you needed to give back that same patience and understanding with his own. You needed to be brave here.

“Baby-“

“C-Can you just hold me? Please?” You sputtered out just above a whisper, and before you could even unwrap your arms from around yourself Corpse was pulling you into his lap; strong arms encasing you as he pushed his face into your hair. That’s when you found out he was shaking just as much as you were, chest rising and falling erratically with contained sobs as he tried to keep his brave demeanour up for you. Tucking your head under his chin he leaned back against the wall as he crushed you to his chest, the droplets hitting the top of your head giving way to the fact that he was crying too. Pulling your arms up from your side, you slowly wrapped them around his shoulder as he pushed his face against the crook of your neck, sobs finally giving way as he cried helplessly into your shoulder; further dampening the already tear-soaked cloth of the hoodie you were wearing.

“I’m sorry,” Corpse sputtered, hooking his chin over your shoulder so he could keep up with the heaving of his chest, pulling an arm up from around your waist to rest on the back of your head. As much as he wanted to run his hands all over your body and bury his fingers in your hair to feel and memorize every inch of you, he kept them still not wanting to overwhelm you more than this kind of touch already did.

“I love you, I love you so much, I love you..“ he whispered over and over into the darkness of the closet as you both began to breath slower as one. Shushing him softly, you repeated the soft words back to him before wrapping your arms tighter around his shoulders, ensuring him that you were going to be alright.

There would be bumps in the road but Corpse was worth it.

__________________________________

[wonderlustlucas]

home - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure.” ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 2.7k ⇢ genre fluff, kind of angsty? ⇢ warnings insinuated that this takes place during covid & that reader has some case of depression/anxiety i literally wrote her as me so like ⇢ summary In which Hyunjin shows you just how special you are.—college!au ⇢ a/n happy birthday to my love, my comfort, my home

What am I doing here?

Unfortunately, there is no one else to blame but herself for being left without plans on this Friday night. Regretfully so, she instead finds herself alone on the upper level of the business building. Scratch that, the whole building, probably – she’s been here since four, and the few students that were once alongside her left hours ago. Initially here to work on an essay, she now occupies her time bouncing between YouTube, Twitch, and Crunchyroll, watching whatever she is feeling at the moment despite Monday’s deadline looming over her.

Sighing, she looks away from a boring page of YouTube recommendations, stretches her neck, and reaches for her hot chocolate. Well, not hot anymore, she realizes with a wince after taking a sip, struggling to swallow the now cold drink. Gaze flicking to the time on the corner of her laptop, she frowns. 9:43. She considers walking home once it hits ten, the unstirred silence of the building starting to prick up her spine like needles. Home, she thinks with an amused exhale from her nose. A too small, overheated double dorm room that technically is a single now that her roommate has gone online for the rest of the semester. Home.

She wonders, briefly, if anyone were to miss her if she were to go home home. If anyone would even notice, anyway.

She wouldn’t expect them to, honestly. It’s not as if she goes out of her way to hang out with anyone, usually opting to cozy up in her room and pretend she does not see the groupchat blowing up with plans to meet at the dining hall, a study session at the library, a trip to the mall. She loves her friends, really, but can rarely find it in herself to actually participate in said friend activities. Sure, there are some nights she actually leaves the confines of her room to join them, but to be quite frank, she’s glad they have learned to simply stop inviting her. Makes the whole looking for an excuse problem a lot easier.

Besides, who would want to go out on a night like this, anyway?

Just as she has flipped to page fifty-three of The Old Man and the Sea, she looks away in boredom, instead opting to gaze out the window. Focusing past her reflection on the tall glass pane, a warm feeling she can only describe as peace seems to settle over her, watching the snow fall like moonlit glitter across campus. The snowstorm had started light when she first arrived, soft enough she could manage with her hood down, dotting her with only miniature droplets of water. Now, though, the flakes are so large she can focus on one at a time as they fly past, covering the ground with a solid two or three inches at this point. In the distance, she can spot snowplows making their rounds to clear the pathways, the route to the business building already turned slushy blue as salt melts the continuous snow.

She sighs, eyes wide like a child as she represses the urge to go outside and grab a handful of it, maybe fall onto one of the lawns and make a snow angel, stick her tongue out and try to catch one of the large flakes. Tomorrow, maybe, she thinks, looking at her grey sweatpants and deciding walking back with soaked pants in this weather would not be the best idea.

So late into March, she cannot help but chuckle at the number of students complaining about the snow and cold temperature on SnapChat, even her friends having to change their plans. She, on the other hand, finds such last chance snowstorm beautiful; sure, she was ready for spring and eventually a break from school, but watching the snow dancing under the streetlights, choreographed by the gentle wind, she thinks it’s something to hold on to, keep her grounded to reality that albeit the stress and monotony of college, such moments like these still exist.

She jumps at the sound of the front entrance slamming closed.

Who the hell? She frowns, annoyed at whoever decided now was a good time to come inside, subsequently ruining her little moment of serenity. Turning red at the thought of some raunchy couple thinking to spice things up in the presumably empty building, she considers packing her bag and heading out. But no matter which exit, they would still see her, and that would be painstakingly awkward. Maybe she could escape into one of the smaller reservation rooms, or at least make some exaggerated noise so they at least know they’re not alone.

Could just be a janitor, or maybe someone else deciding to shelter somewhere other than their dorm to buckle down and do some work, she thinks. No matter who it is and what their intentions are, her leg is already bouncing a mile a minute having gotten used to having the space to herself.

So caught up on how or when she should take her leave, she does not hear the footsteps coming up the stairs until they’re right behind her. Tensing up, she watches in the window’s reflection as the business building’s second occupant steps up onto the platform and… heads towards her. Panic setting in, she tries to decipher who it is through the blurry reflection but to no avail, heart racing at the thought of a stranger approaching her, one of her friends finding her here on a Friday night, a janitor going to ask her to leave.

She turns her head as soon as they stop beside her.

“Hyunjin?” She blurts, taken aback. This was the last person she expected to be here. Somewhat relieved but heart still beating in her throat, she blinks up at the tall boy to make sure it’s really him, brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you the same thing,” he returns, pulling his mask down below his chin and smiling cheekily at her. “I went to go pick up my food and saw you in the window,” Hyunjin explains, tugging the beanie off his head and shaking his hair out, showering her in the tiny droplets. Wrinkling her nose, she takes notice of the Chipotle bag in his hand and how soaked his coat is.

“Here,” she offers, reaching for the bag. Passing it to her with a grateful smile, Hyunjin unzips his coat and sets it over a chair beside her alongside his beanie, wipes the melted snow and sweat from his eyes, and tries to fix his now mused bangs. “So, what are you doing here?” He asks while doing this, regarding her with an amused glint in his eyes.

“Work,” she sighs. Then, glancing to the screen of her laptop and realizing it’s still the home page of YouTube, she grimaces. “Trying to do work. Not really. Just watching the snow.”

“It’s a lot prettier when you’re inside,” Hyunjin comments, following her gaze to watch the frenzy of snow before taking the bag from her and offering a quiet thanks. “But I meant more why are you here?”

She isn’t quite sure what her relationship with Hyunjin is. Having been one of the many acquaintances she barely made at freshman orientation, he did not seem like the kind of person she expected to still be in her life. She wouldn’t exactly say they were close, but she considers Hyunjin a friend, she thinks. After a good month or two forgetting he existed, she randomly bumped into him at the dining hall, recognizing that unfairly attractive face of his in line for chicken nuggets and immediately falling into conversation. Turns out, he was mutual friends with her lab partner, Kim Seungmin.

She does not see Hyunjin as much as she wishes she did. She had not shared any classes with him in the past three years, and even if her friend group and his overlapped in the slightest, it was not always a given that they both would be able to hang out as much as their closer friends do. Still, there always seems to be a random occasion, such as now, where they bump into one another. Each time is a pleasant surprise, of course, and not just because of his pretty face and wide shoulders, but because he has always seemed to care for her in a way no one else does, and that in itself is enough to have her heart racing every time he comes close.

Not that she has a crush on him or anything, but it definitely is hard trying not to fall in love every time he even so much as smiles at her.

Face heating up in embarrassment at his question, she avoids looking him in the eyes and randomly minimizes the Chrome tab on her laptop. “You know,” she drones on, “just taking it easy for the night.”

Hyunjin hums in agreement, opening the lid of his burrito bowl and stabbing a fork into the layers. Even her mouth waters. “I feel like I never see you,” he contemplates, finally taking a bite. His words surprise her. “Uh, yeah,” she coughs, forcing herself to look away before she gets too enraptured over how beautiful he looks even after trekking through a snowstorm, long hair messy but falling over his face in a way that has her fingers twitching to tuck away. “I usually don’t go out with everyone. Not my scene.”

“Aw,” he coos, “I get that. Sometimes I’m the same way, I just want to relax on the weekends after working so much all week.”

Thank you!, she almost shouts, but bites her tongue. She agrees, but even she does not know why she can’t find it in herself to go out and party with everyone else. She’s just lazy, to put it simply. Nevertheless, his words put her at ease, no longer worried that he might think she’s a loser for staying in every weekend.

“Exactly,” she agrees, “parties are fun, sometimes. But I just prefer laying low. I don’t think my friends like that, though.”

Gaze finding his, her heart does somersaults at the smile he offers. “Nah,” Hyunjin says, confident, “no one thinks that. Everyone has their way of having fun. Honestly, all I’ve ever heard is your friends complaining how they miss you and that you would make going out more fun since you’re so funny.”

“Which is true, by the way,” he adds.

She feels as if she is going to combust. “Oh,” she croaks, throat dry, “um, thank you. That’s sweet of them. And you. I guess I didn’t consider that they miss me when they go out.”

Hyunjin scoffs, raising a brow but finishes chewing before speaking again. “Are you nuts? You’re so fun to be around, of course they’re going to miss you.”

“Okay, stop that,” she laughs, burning from the inside out at his compliments. “Just being honest,” he laughs, opening the bag of his tortilla chips. “Want any?”

She looks at him with wide eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure.”

“Okay,” she huffs out an airy laugh, rolling her chair closer to his. Miscalculating that he was going to move, too, she quite literally feels her blood pressure skyrocket as her knees bump into his. And he doesn’t move. “Here,” moving the bag closer to the edge of the table, Hyunjin glances at her for only a split second before focusing on his bowl again.

Reaching into the bag, she feels emboldened not only by his previous flattery, but his proximity as well, and scrambles to continue the conversation. “Why are you eating Chipotle so late?”

“Pre-birthday celebration. Also, DoorDash took forever,” Hyunjin laughs.

“When’s your birthday?” She asks, munching on a chip.

“In,” he pauses, tapping his phone, “two hours.”

Oh. “What?” She gasps, blinking at him. “What? Why aren’t you out? It’s your birthday weekend and you’re here eating Chipotle?”

“Woah, okay Miss I-Prefer-Laying-Low. Maybe I wanted to chill tonight, since tomorrow I’m going out? Hm?” Hyunjin chuckles at her scowl, pursing his lips. “Okay, yeah, I guess but—”

“No but’s,” he interrupts, the amused glint in his eyes disappearing, “I’m here now, and that’s what matters, right? I’m lucky I saw you in the window.”

“I guess,” she mutters, realizing her heart has not stopped its staccato frenzy since moving closer, “you scared me, by the way. I’ve been here alone for hours and suddenly someone is walking up to me, I think I shit my pants.”

Hyunjin bellows out a laugh, and such an airy sound momentarily leaves her awestruck. Oh, god, she’s in deep. It’s over.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he giggles, battling her hand to reach for a chip. Even the touch of his long fingers against hers has the entire butterfly population roaring to life in her gut. “Look, I made up for it by gifting you chips.”

“True,” she hums, licking residue salt off her fingers before leaning back in her chair to catch a breather. Too much physical contact and emotion for one night.

“What are you doing next weekend?” Hyunjin asks, taking her by surprise. Again. She thinks she is going to faint if she isn’t able to wrap herself around him within the next fifteen seconds.

“Um,” she starts, then remembers her previous idea of going home after this week was over. “I was probably going to go home next Friday.”

“Oh,” is all Hyunjin says, seemingly disappointed. “Why?”

She grits her teeth. Why? Really? “I don’t know,” she shrugs, not even convinced herself, “I’m bored and lonely here. I love everyone here but I miss my friends at home. I might as well be slightly less bored at home.” Hyunjin frowns.

“Okay, what about this,” he starts, leaning close enough she can count his individual eyelashes and nearly smell the flavor of his lip balm, “you go out with us tomorrow night and if you have fun, you hang out with us next weekend, too. Oh, and whenever you want some company, you text me and we’ll come here or somewhere else and do homework together or just chill. How does that sound?”

All she can do is blink at him. Her initial thought is how dare he try negotiating whether I go home or not? But, there it is, again, she realizes. That extra step he takes, the genuine care he shows her, acting like her well-being is his responsibility. “You don’t have to do that, Hyunjin. I don’t want to bother you every time I feel lonely. I’ll be fine.”

“Christ, you’re dense,” rolling his eyes, Hyunjin sets his fork down, wipes his hands on his thighs, and suddenly leans in to hold her face with both hands, “I wouldn’t offer to sit around and do homework with you when you’re in need of a friend if I didn’t want to.”

Her heart is racing so fast she fears he may be able to hear the thud of it against her chest. What he’s saying is starting to sound a lot more than some friend-to-friend comfort, and it’s making her head hurt, especially with his thumbs ever so slightly swiping against her cheeks. At her silence, he starts again.

“Y/N,” he says, voice dropping an octave, “don’t go home. This is your home, too, you just don’t want it to be.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she thinks she is going to say something, but nothing comes out. There is nothing to say. Hyunjin is right, he has read her like an open book, and he’s here to offer his shoulder to lean on. “Okay,” she whispers, “I’ll go out with everyone tomorrow. And I’ll try and stay here for the rest of the semester.”

“That’s my girl,” Hyunjin smiles, leaning closer and pressing a featherlight kiss to her lips. At first, it takes her by surprise. But then it all starts to make sense. The snow makes sense. Her essay makes sense. Being here makes sense. Hyunjin makes sense. His birthday makes sense. She makes sense.

Outside the glass windows, the wind starts to howl, blowing the composed ballet of snow to its final act, covering the pathways and the streetlights and the roof of the business building in perfect white glitter. Inside these windows, she realizes they would notice if she were to go home.

Why would she ever do that when her second home is right here in front of her?

[multimilfs]

Zelda Spellman x Fem!Reader x Lilith: Complexities of a Witch

Summary: thewriting-dragon requested “Zelda X Reader X Lilith: Two sassy badass magical milfs and their soft gf who would kill multiple men to see her strong girlfriends just have a moment's peace because they deserve it.”

A/N: Okay nobody fillet me if certain details for s3 are off. I don’t remember them entirely so I’m going off of the little information I remembered and some youtube clips. That aside, I hope you all enjoy!! 

Tag List: @ghostsunderstoodmysoul​ @multifandomfix​ @angel7376 

Warning(s): Minor Violence

You could swear that your hair was turning grey. With each passing day, the stress piled on, until you were positive that strands of your hair were turning color. It left you stunned and confused. Zelda had almost a hundred years on you and her hair was perfectly normal. And she dealt with more stress everyday than an entire town would.

“Zelda,” You whined, coming out of the bathroom, “I’m greying.”

Looking up from her book, she scoffed at the dramatics. She marked her place with a finger. Her eyes scanned you from head to toe, narrowed in concentration.

“You most certainly are not,” She finally declared, “I don’t see a single grey hair on your head.”  

“Well, you’re missing it, Zee. All of you are stressing me to the point of madness and my hair is starting to reflect it.”

“Oh, hush. Come here.”

You trudged over to her side of the bed, perching next to her as she looked over your strands closely. Her nails lightly scratched at certain areas of your scalp during her examination. Finally, she leant away from you and shook her head.

“One grey strand, Y/N. You’re raising heaven over a single strand?” Zelda rolled her eyes.

“One strand leads to more! Before you know it, I’ll have a head of them.”

“Oh, Y/N, do be reasonable.”

“I am! How have you not gone grey? Sabrina puts you through so much.”

“Oh that’s easy, I stopped caring ages ago.” Zelda said easily, leaning back against the pillows.

You knew as well as she did that it was a lie. She loved Sabrina to a fault, constantly putting up with her antics. You all did. But it seemed she had no intention of continuing the line of conversation. So you resorted to a sure way to get answers; teasing Zelda until she gave up the truth.

“Are you sure that you’re not dyeing your hair and hiding it from us?” You asked innocently, trying to hide your mischievous grin behind a hand.

Zelda sputtered indignantly, attempting to form words, but failing to do so. You couldn’t hold back your laugh at her reaction. She frowned, recognizing your teasing and obviously not feeling very keen on it.

“What have you done to inspire such a frown?” A warm, curious voice said from behind the two of you.

Not aware of another presence in the room, you nearly fell off of the bed in surprise. You leveled a glare at Lilith as she leant against the door. Her look was far too smug for your liking.

“See?” You said, looking at Zelda, “The antics of this family will turn my hair in a week!”

“Lilith, tell her that she’s being entirely too dramatic about this.” Zelda requested.

“I’ll do no such thing,” Lilith responded, clearly enjoying herself, “Even I would struggle to maintain the natural hair color of this body if I were in her position.”

A long, hard stare was aimed at the demoness. She was completely unfazed by it, having become used to far worse looks in Hell. You just grinned triumphantly at Zelda for a few moments. It was very rare that Lilith took your side in matters like these. Zelda and Lilith tended to be of like mind, especially when it would grate on your nerves.

Rather than respond to any of the teasing, Zelda turned onto her side, facing away from the two of you with a huff. You laughed silently, shaking the bed with the effort to keep it contained.

“Aw, Zee, I’m sorry.” You tried, leaning your head on her shoulder.

“You certainly are not.”

“Oh but I am, aren’t I, Lilith?”

“Yes, very sorry.” She agreed, though without enough emotion to seem sincere.

“Go to bed, both of you.” Zelda demanded, turning over for just a moment to press a kiss to your lips and glare in Lilith’s direction, before turning the lights off with a snap.

Through the darkness, you heard Lilith scoff at the other witch’s behavior. Though part of you expected her to stay awake in protest, the bed soon dipped with her weight. Her arms wrapped around you and you allowed yourself to fall asleep just like that.

----

When you woke up, there was a dreadful absence on both of your sides. Though the blankets were piled on top of you, the chill in the air wormed its way past them. You shook without either of your lovers to keep you warm.

Reaching out blindly, you searched for them with closed eyes. Lilith often took to reading before you woke, perching herself on the bench at the foot of the bed. If stretched fully then you could typically poke her in the back. Nothing met your reach.

You grumbled miserably. If neither witch was in the room, it meant they’d already convened for breakfast. Likely, you had slept longer than intended, and would be sure to hear about it.

Dreading the inevitable teasings and musings of Zelda, you trudged from bed and down the stairs. But no noise followed your descent from the last step. There was no light chatter or laughter from the kitchen. The comforting babbling of the pots and shrieking of the kettle, nowhere to be found.

“Hilda? Zelda, Lilith?” You called, walking into the kitchen.

The area that was so typically warm and busy, was now completely empty. Cold light seeped in through the drawn curtains. A chill went down your spin as you spun around, looking in every part of the room for someone of the Spellman family.

“Sabrina… Ambrose?” You tried helplessly.

No luck.

Timidly, you stepped further into the room. Your eyebrows furrowed as you took in the cobwebs clinging to the chandelier; cobwebs you were positive hadn’t been there previously. Tracing over the table led to a collection of dust on the end of your finger. Everything felt hopelessly, terribly confusing.

A sudden crash to your right put you on high alert, throwing your hands up just in time. But it wasn’t a wild animal or enemy looking back at you, frozen in space. It was Ambrose.

“Ambrose!” You exclaimed, dropping your magical hold to throw your arms around him, “I am so glad to see you.”

“As am I, Auntie, but we can’t stay here. It’s not safe.”

You reeled away from him, confused at his words. What could be safer than your own home? The one you’d all been part of for so long? Zelda had to be around somewhere, she’d never abandon the mortuary. It wasn’t her style.

“Ambrose, you’re talking nonsense. Now where are Zelda and Lilith? I’m sure we can handle whatever Sabrina has cooked up as a family.”

“You don’t understand,” Ambrose said in a severe whisper, “Nowhere is safe. Not even Hell.”

His tone sent a shiver down your spine. It wasn’t hard to throw off the balance of this plane, but it was unheard of for the infernal plane to be affected. And if Hell was dangerous then that meant…

“Where is everyone, Ambrose?” You whispered, fearing the answer, “Where is Zelda? Lilith? Your Aunt Hilda would never let the house become so tattered… are they…”

“You really don’t know what’s going on?” He asked.

“If I knew what was going on I wouldn’t be asking you.”

“They all… I mean, well... The pagans brought the reckoning and very few survived.”

“No,” You shook your head, backing away, “They can’t be gone. Not like this.”

“I’m sorry, Auntie.”

He placed a hand on your arm, squeezing gently. You felt like his words had gutted you and left you hollow. Despite the fine layers of dust and cobwebs, the memories of the house still felt alive around you.

The smell of Zelda’s cigarette smoke lingered on everything. You could practically see her there, newspaper in hand, smoke billowing from behind it. Lilith’s voice rang in your ears, heckling Zelda about something miniscule. It was always like that. Warm, teasing, and comfortable. You would hide a laugh, but Zelda knew you too well.

Your family lingered in every corner.

Another squeeze on your arm brought you back to the present, looking directly at Ambrose. His eyes were full of the sadness that you felt. But his held more reserve, more… acceptance. This was new to you, though it wasn’t to him.

You refused to let yourself cry. Neither Zelda or Lilith would have wanted it, they cared for action. In your heart you knew that all you could do was work with the tools you had. Magic, heart, and Ambrose.

“Alright, now fill me in on these Pagans.” You said.

And fill you in he did. Though nothing could explain how the time had moved without you, how you ended up in the middle without even knowing it. Fortunately, just as the two of you hit a dead end, Sabrina appeared out of nowhere.

The details were fuzzy and you were running on a lot of hope, but you had faith in Sabrina. If not, at least she had her misplaced confidence. You’d go out fighting.

Sabrina was to shift things around in time, to bring back your loved ones. You stood by Zelda’s skeleton in the Mortuary’s basement, hoping that any second she’d become real, as Sabrina united the past, present, and future once more.

You felt the change, but nothing happened next to you. The hope in your heart was slowly waning. It was hard to hold back the emotions, but it seemed not to matter at all, as a rustling next to you became apparent.

Sitting up on the table was Zelda, looking confused and extremely annoyed. Ambrose explained that she’d been shot at the front door. You wanted to make the person pay, but right now you were entirely too happy to see Zelda to care.

“Zelda,” You breathed out, making her look to you, before wrapping your arms around her, “You’re okay.”

“Of course I am. I couldn’t leave you to deal with Sabrina alone, now could I?” She asked.

Her voice was hauty, but you knew she was joking by the sweet tone in her voice. The gentleness you heard only in special moments.

“Speaking of Sabrina, we’re meeting her near the Cain pit. You missed a lot while you were… sleeping.”

You could see that she detested waiting for any answers, but grudgingly let you pull her out to the Cain pit, where a large group of witches were waiting. It was then that she realized why she hadn’t been buried in it. Hilda was still laying in it and had been for far too long.

Her grip tightened on your hand and you squeezed back. You’d spent the last day mourning your entire family, but Hilda had been with Zelda since they were children. The pain there was likely unimaginable.

But you all joined hands, amplifying Zelda’s wishes. Her screams to the sky, calling on Hecate. The pain in her voice rang through you like a shot. If you weren’t present, forming a circle with your sister witches, you could’ve sworn you had been shot. The pain certainly felt similar.

Waiting with bated breath, Zelda called out after her chanting. One hand placed on the dirt of the Cain pit.

“Hildy?” She said brokenly.

Then, to everyone’s relief, a hand broke through the dirt. Zelda grabbed it eagerly. You could feel the tension leave everyone’s body. It made you especially grateful to release their hands.

You watched joyfully as Hilda clawed her way out of the dirt, crouching to help her. The dirt caked under your nails didn’t bother you like it normally would. It was a small price to pay.

After that, the plan was laid out. By Sabrina, no less. All of the witches were in agreement on how the Pagans would be dealt with. With swift, painful justice. It would be far too dangerous to let them live any longer. They would just work their way back into this same situation. The plan would take place as they sacrificed the virgin of their choosing to the Green Man.

There was enough time for everyone to disband and prepare, or rest, in your case. But you couldn’t bear to rest now. You had your entire family back, minus one key person. Lilith. Little was known about what had happened in Hell, or maybe Ambrose wouldn’t tell you much.

You just knew that your heart was aching, longing for the other woman you so deeply loved. A fire, long put out, was burning in your gut. It threatened to overwhelm you. Instead, you vowed to save it for the Pagans.

You would get your life back, no matter what it took.

----

The plan had worked perfectly. Sabrina had gone disguised as Robin, Pesta disguised as Ms. Wardwell. Now the Pagans were fleeing. But the big three, the so called ‘Gods’, were frantically packing their things.

Hilda went after Circe, Harvey and Roz went after the gorgon, and that left Pan to you. While the rest of your coven chased the younger Pagans, you elected to confront Pan head-on. Alone. While he loaded his truck, out in the open, you walked up. You did your best to keep your anger at bay when he set his eyes on you.

“What can I do for you, witch?” He snarled.

“You’ve taken something very important from me. I want it back.” You said casually.

The laugh that left his mouth was cold, empty of any humor whatsoever. You wanted to scream, to rip him limb from limb over what he’d done to your family. Your coven. The pain all of them had endured because of them.

“Not likely. I don’t offer kindness to the whores of Satan.”

“You don’t offer kindness to anyone, false God.” You hissed.

His hackles raised then, offended beyond what words could say. Stepping away from his vehicle, he sneered at you, disdain clear in his eyes. Stretching his arms out to either side revealed his true nature beneath the illusion. The true Pan.

“Your Satan is the false God, but I am real, for I am the great God Pan. And my gaze is madness incarnate…” He proclaimed in a haughty tone.

Your clapping stunned him. It was slow and deliberate, fake and insulting. You held no fear as you walked right up to him and stared directly into his eyes.

“I’ve consumed madness before,” You said, a twisted smile spreading on your lips as he stepped back, “And I kept returning for more.”

With a snap of your fingers, the shimmer illusion around him dropped. The one barrier between you and his true form. Your eyes never dropped from his. He attempted to step away from you, but you wouldn’t have it. Then you swung your arm viciously.

“This is for Zelda,” You whispered after burying a blade in his chest, before pulling it out and burying it in his neck, “And that is for Lilith.”

He crumpled to the ground in front of you. As you stood over him, you stared at the wounds you made. Part of you wished that you’d taken more time to make him suffer. But what’s done is done, you can't turn back time.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

Turning, your eyes landed on Lilith and Zelda. It was Lilith who’d spoken, leaning against a tree, her smirk visible even from where you were standing. Your heart jumped in your chest at seeing her alive and well.

“You’re… You’re back.” You said happily, tears in your eyes.

“Of course I am. Now, are you going to give me a proper welcome or not?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

You wasted no time in moving to her and throwing yourself into her arms. At first, you did your best to be mindful of where your hands were. Pan’s blood was all over them and you didn’t want to stain her dress, but she didn’t seem to mind as she took your hands into her’s.

She pulled you into a searing kiss. All your thoughts of revenge faded into nothingness as your lips met hers. Personally, you’d never felt Hellfire, but you would bet that it had nothing on her kiss.

Zelda scoffed from beside the two of you. Without looking at her, you knew without a doubt that her eyes were rolling. It was her trademark at this point.

With no small amount of effort, you pulled away from Lilith’s kiss, extending a hand to Zelda. Letting her annoyance wane for a moment, she took it and kissed you just as aggressively as Lilith had. Though where Zelda had rolled her eyes, Lilith was now watching with dark eyes.

It would have been easy to let the touches descend into something sinfully fun, but that wasn’t what you felt. You were so relieved to have your lovers back safe. Overwhelmingly, you felt nothing but your intense love in this moment.

“Let’s go home.” You whispered after pulling away, happily dragging both witches back to your safe haven.

----

“Look at this,” You urged Zelda over to your side, pointing to your hair, “Right here.”

“You’re calmer about this one, I see.” She said.

“I think I… appreciate them now, more than I hate them.”

“Is that so?”

“I wouldn’t have them if I didn’t care. So I consider it good that I care so much about my family, even if it gives me grey hair.” You admitted, avoiding her eyes as your cheeks burned red.

Zelda was quiet for a few moments and you wondered if you left her speechless for once. But rather than say anything, she placed a sweet kiss upon your lips. Her thumb rubbed over your cheekbone affectionately.

“Having so much love is a remarkable gift.” Zelda murmured, punctuating the statement with another kiss.

You leaned into the rare moment of open, sappy affection. It was nice to spend time like this, reveling in the love of your family. To know how loved you were.

“I walked into a sap fest, I see,” Lilith’s voice came from the doorway, “Hard to believe I’m looking at the same witch who slaughtered a God two days ago.”

She was nursing a glass in her hand, taking a sip as her humorous eyes glanced over the rim. You gave a small laugh. Though she'll tease you endlessly about your ways, she did envy how open you could be with all of it. Love, care, honesty. It’d been completely foreign to her for so long.

“What can I say, sweetheart? I’m just complex like that.”

[sapphire374]

Soy Sol: Chapter 11 (The Cut that Burrows Deep)

Wattpad Link

Ch.1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Ch.4 / Ch.5 / Ch.6 / Ch.7 / Ch.8 / Ch.9 / Ch. 10 / Ch.12 / Ch.13 / Ch.14 / Ch.15 / Ch.16 / Ch.17

Ámbar feels like every step she takes, the more she can feel her heartbeat. It’s like she’s carrying it in her arms with nothing to guard it, out in the open alone. She opens the cold rusted handle of the entrance to the restaurant. There she is, her biological mom trembling while drinking a glass of water. Ámbar sums up all the courage inside her and takes the chance to approach her. When she grabs the seat in front of her, Sylvania can’t help but stare in shock. “Wow Ámbar, you truly have grown.” Ámbar may have brought all her walls down for the people she loves, but she puts them back up with this stranger.

“You can’t say that since you were never there for me. That’s no fair,” Ámbar chided. Sylvania chokes up and avoids eye contact. “Look Ámbar, I now know after everything that has happened the big mistake I made, but at the time it felt like the best option for you. I was young and didn’t have the means nor felt ready to take care of a child. I thought Sharon would’ve been a better parental figure instead of a young girl like myself. I later on regretted it and that’s something I shall have to carry with me for the rest of my life.”

Ámbar grips onto her purse trying very hard to hold back all her tears. She wonders why did this lady chose Sharon specifically and why did Sharon try to keep it a secret for so long? “I understand you were young, but I know that’s not the whole story because I have memories being in a different house that was NOT Benson Mansion. You saw me, you knew me, and didn’t like me enough to keep me,” Ámbar rebuked. Sylvania is showing tears now, she’s choking up with every word as her hand trembles just to take a sip of water. “It wasn’t like that at all Ámbar. I tried, I really did try to see if I was capable of taking care of a child. I noticed my arms weren’t so comforting for you. Sometimes when you love someone, so much, you have to let them go because you care,” Sylvania responded. Ámbar doesn’t know whether to believe what she’s saying or not. She wishes she can get out of these tornadoes of lies that always come chasing her. She’s sick of it all. She wants the truth. Is that too much to ask for?

Silence crowds the room, they’re breathing the same air but can’t even look at each other. Sylvania speaks up again. “I know this feels hard to believe but why do you think I came back? It was for that reason, I thought Sharon would be a better parent than me and would take great care of you. I realized I was sadly wrong.”

“Sharon? Of all people? What made you think that a woman who put a place on fire because she was jealous of her own sister would be a perfect parent for a child? Do you know she never showed me affection or love? I had to learn it all on my own. She only showed any signs of care when she needed me part of her plan that only benefitted her. You left me to a person who only cares about themselves,” Ámbar fumed.

“It wasn’t like that at all. I had no idea about her being the cause of the Benson fire and she had already adopted you before that even happened. When I met her, she was a kind woman, I was friends with Lili from work, so I had already knew the family. I assumed that Sharon had a good heart just like Lili, even though she was seemingly different. The whole time I would interact with her, she was always nice and seemed to really want a child because she always felt alone. It all just felt fitting.” Ámbar is trying to put together all the puzzle pieces in her head with Sylvania’s story. Part of her doesn’t believe it but…. It does kind of make sense. For her it justifies nothing even though she has hope.

Before she gets up from her seat, she leaves a wad of cash. “Ámbar where are you going? We haven’t even ordered yet?” Sylvania asks. “I’m not feeling hungry anymore, here’s some money for dinner.” Ámbar heads out the door with no remnants behind other than the tears that fall to the floor.

Jam and Roller

“Eyyy amigo I’m so happy for the release of your new music video!” Gastón exclaims to Matteo. They’re both drinking smoothies while watching the Youtube countdown from Matteo’s phone. These are the special moments Matteo loves to share with Gastón since he’s always been his pal for the longest. He also loves sharing it with Luna too, but they sadly haven’t hit it off as well for a while. Matteo is hoping Gastón’s plan will work for the upcoming days.

Simón heads to their tables with a fresh batch of popcorn. “Wow, how exciting! It’s even more special since you get to enjoy it here at the Jam and Roller with us!” Simón states. Matteo grins but it slowly fades when he sees Luna walk into the cafeteria and completely ignoring him. “What happened?” Simón asks when he sees Matteo’s vivid expression abruptly change. “No nothing, I just wish I got to share this moment with another person too.” When Simón turns his head and sees who Matteo is staring at, he realizes what Matteo meant.

Nina pulls out her purse and hands her phone to Luna. “I know you’re trying to pretend you don’t care but you do. Watch the video, it’ll get rid of all your curiosities.” Luna shakes her head in disapproval. “Nina, the least I want to do is watch a music video of the one I love flirting with a girl who has a huge crush on him as well. They’re practically soulmates, meant for each other,” Luna exaggerates. “Oh c’mon, I know it’s complicated, but you know that’s not true. If you’re not going to do it for him, then do it for yourself. You deserve to see why he arrived late to your date.” Luna glares at Nina and decides to take the phone.

Once the music video is out, everyone begins to cheer for Matteo. Luna sits even more depressed seeing at the ‘amazing’ chemistry Matteo and Viviana had in the music video. She can’t help but doubt herself even more when all the comments from his fans say they ship him with Viviana. “Nina, I’m not feeling so good. I think I’ll just head home.” Nina nods and Luna begins to get up from her chair and head out. Matteo notices and follows her out.

“Luna! Luna, wait up! I need to tell you something,” Matteo yells out. “Matteo not now, I’m not in the mood. Congratulations of your video, it was very nice. I just don’t feel so good okay.” Matteo catches up to her and stands in front. “Look Luna, I don’t know if you’ll listen to me now but please go to tomorrow’s concert I’m having. My manager is having me make a concert to promote the single, but it wouldn’t be the same without you. Please Luna. You never miss any of my concerts,” Matteo begs. Luna gradually smiles. “Really? You still want me there?”

“Of course, I do Luna.” Luna now can’t help but blush. “Matteo, of course I’ll go. Even though I’m still a little upset at you calling me jealous, standing me up on our date, and not believing or listening to me, I still care. Since you want me there, I’ll be there.” Matteo is surprised by Luna’s comment and begins to graciously smile too. It was a moment for them, they hadn’t had one like this in a long time. It felt needed.

Nico is in the rink sitting on one of the chairs, he seems to be working on something since he has his notebook open with his pen. Jim enters and sees him alone. “Hey there, what are you working on?” Jim asks. “Oh just a few verses, I’m trying to get ahead on the Roller Band song for the competition, but nothing seems to come into mind,” Nico says. Jim heads to the seat beside him. She sits down and carefully glances over his blank page. “Oh yeah you do seem to be having some trouble,” Jim chuckles. “If you’d like I can help, I’m use to writing songs with Yam.” Nico turns and faces Jim, “Yes of course. I need all the help I can get; it’s been a while for me since I got to write a song with the Roller Band.” They both laugh together and get working on the song.

Jazmín dashes to Delfi holding a small slip of paper. “You won’t believe what just happened?” Delfi carefully places her books into her locker after seeing Jazmín rush to her. “Is it something new for the Fundom or for your blog, Ja Jazmin?” Delfi predicts. “Nope, you’re very far off. Look at this,” Jazmín hands Delfi the note. The more she reads it, the more her eyes grow like a flower blooming in the season, keeps opening. She’s in plain shock as Jazmín nods from her amusement. “Right! I have a secret admirer!! I have to post about this on my blog!” Jazmín frantically grabs her phone from her pocket but right when she’s about to film, Delfi stops her. “No Jazmín, this is something special. Honestly, I think this is something you should keep for yourself, every celebrity likes to keep their personal life separate from their work life,” Delfi advises. Jazmín thinks for a second and says, “Nahhh I’ll still post it, plus this can even help us discover who the anonymous writer is!”

The Restaurant

Yam is wearing her golden shimmery dress that Jim helped her pick out. She’s very anxious about her date with Ramiro, she wants it to go out perfect since this was something she had been dreaming of for a while. He puts down the menu and slips his hand under hers to her surprise. He gives her a shy smile. “I had been dreaming of this for a while. Before, I would always try to move on, but I just couldn’t. My mind just couldn’t forget about you,” Ramiro admits. Yam begins to tear up. “I felt the same way for so long but never said anything worried you didn’t feel the same way. I’m so happy about this moment. I don’t care how long I had to wait, it was totally worth it.”

Throughout the whole night, Yam and Ramiro shared college stories and even old memories of each other. How Yam never stopped writing songs about him and how Ramiro would skate imagining about her. Everything went smooth till dessert came. A random man with a suit and tie approached their table and faces Yam. “You look familiar, are you Yamila Sanchez from that Ja Jazmin blog?” Yam stays startled and stutters, “uhhh yes why?” The man quickly pulls a card out of his pocket. “Hillside Records, I’m the owner. I would like to set up a meeting with you for a chance at a record deal.” Yam immediately glares at Ramiro for a response. He shows his approval and gestures for Yam to respond. “Yes I would love to!” Yam exclaims. “Great! I’m available tomorrow at 5 pm. There is one important detail I have to tell you,” the man says. “Yes, what is it,” Yam asks. “The record company is not in Buenos Aires. It’s in California.” He proceeds to hand her the card. “Think about it, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaves and Yam shows her disappointment to Ramiro, she couldn’t believe how such an exciting offer can turn to something so depressing. If she took this offer, that means she would have to leave her family, her friends, and her chance at being with Ramiro.

“Look I know this is hard to think about but just follow your heart. If this is something you truly want go for it, I can wait longer,” Ramiro grabs her hand and holds it. “I don’t know what to say. I never knew me pursuing a music career would mean I have to leave everything and everyone I love,” Yam gradually lets her tears fall onto her glittery dress.

[chubbyreaderchan]

I Don't Like Cats | Frank Castle x chubby!Reader

Tw: Blood, cat hate, female reader

Frank glanced around her apartment.

She was the only person he could think of as he escaped the war scene he had just left.

(Y/n) was special. Very special.

Frank knew where she lived a long time ago but this was the first time he's ever been inside. And here he was bleeding all over the carpet.

Instead of being pissed, she made a joke about how she wasn't expecting to see her deposit back anyways. Then off she went to help clean him up.

Strange how he went from almost hitting her with his van to being one of the few people he could trust.

He froze when he heard a soft mewing from beside him. A gray cat was at his boots and meowed again to gain his attention before trotting to the kitchen. The cat stood in front of a pink and white bowl, meowing again. This time it was a long and drawn out one.

"Wisp, Frank isn't going to feed you," she said softly scratching the cat's ear.

Without a word she gently grabbed Frank's hand pulling him further into her kitchen. He winced as the pain in his very bruised knuckles throbbed but he ignored it, enjoying her warm skin on his.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" She asked gently, helping as best as she could to clean the blood off of open wounds before stitching them shut.

The stitches were quite even, at least for someone who doesn't stitch skin often. It must be due to the crafts that he noticed here and there around the apartment. "No, not anymore." He grumbled.

Her eyes looked him over, thoughts of kissing Frank flooded her mind but she knew that wasn't something that would be okay.

He was thinking the same thing.

"You can stay here. If you don't mind my cats"

"Cats?" He glanced up. "I only saw the one."

"Willow is a bit scared of strangers. She is probably under my bed," (Y/n) smiled. Without a thought she tugged on his black shirt, he lifted his arms in response wincing as the blood made his shirt stick slightly in a disgusting way. A large gash ran down his left side from under his arm and down towards his ab. It wasn't as deep as the ones on his arms. The stitches took a bit of time still and they sat in silence as she worked.

"I'm not a big fan of cats... I prefer dogs," Frank said, the cat was now staring him down. "You should get a dog. Especially in a city like this one."

Her eyes looked up into his dark ones, damn was she beautiful. Frank wanted to kiss her but something told him it might hurt Maria. Or hurt her memory.

Would Maria want him to move on?

Could he move on?

"Unlike most people. I actually like most animals... Cats. Dogs. Mice. It doesn't matter," she admitted cleaning the wound one last time. "So a dog could be in the future if I can find one who likes cats."

Goddamn it.

Damn it all. It wouldn't be safe to be with her but he was falling, descending down like a bomb on her life.

He couldn't escape the war. Inside or outside always at war. If it wasn't Maria, it was the lifestyle. He couldn't watch another person he cared for get hurt. Then a voice told him in his head that he already has her at risk by just knowing him. Curses flew through his mind rapidly.

"I have some clothes..."

"Boyfriend?" He asked, suddenly feeling a heart pull.

"No, it was from an shipping mix up. I got the refund and they said to just keep the clothes..." She shrugged. "Go ahead and shower. I'll get the towel and clothes for you."

Frank couldn't help but smile as he watched her full figure disappear down the hallway and into a bed room. The marine stood up, following her.

"Oh! The bathroom is at the end of the hall!" She called through the door.

"Thanks," he responded stepping heavily.

Frank stepped into the bathroom closing the door before stripping his clothing. The shower curtain made a soft noise as it was open and Frank almost went into Punisher mode when he saw a black cat laying in the tub. Her eyes were wide upon seeing him, she darted past him like a jet clawing at the door for freedom.

He laughed. Cats. Frank opened the door just enough for her to make her escape. He turned his attention back to the shower. The water came out in a typical weak fashion for an older apartment, but he couldn't complain. His muscles relaxed under the heat, letting the blood run off.

The air got slightly cooler as (Y/n) opened the bathroom door. She placed the clothes down, trying her best to not take a peak at the shadow against the curtain. It was a fight with her perverted interest and respect for the man. "I uh... Also brought a loofa if you need to scrub the blood off..."

"Yeah, uh can you hand it to me?" His deep voice vibrated off the bathroom walls. Her hand poked in on the other side of the curtain, keeping her vision at her feet. Then he noticed the grey cat poking his head in the shower at the same time. "Thanks."

Their fingers brushed slightly as she passed it off.

"Come on Wisp. Let's get you fed," her voice was so gentle.

Then she was gone again, Frank was left with the battle in his head. She was so good. He couldn't be so selfish.

His large beat up hands gripped a purple bottle of shampoo and he took a whiff. It was sweet yet floral with no real scent he could name except for (Y/n). His lungs inflated again, despite his ribs aching from the fight earlier as he washed himself in her smell.

It was so good.

Frank stepped out, dried off and pulled in the soft clothing on. A black shirt that wouldn't fit her and a pair of grey sweats. Warm. Comfortable. Clean.

He found her sitting on the couch, watching some YouTube Unsolved show. Talking about some Peter Quill missing and aliens. He gently sat next to her, the black cat was on her lap asleep. Then the grey one, no, Wisp follow Frank's movements and plopped down in his lap.

"You can sleep in my bed," she held up a blue bowl filled with popcorn to him. "I'll sleep on the couch,"

"Call me old fashioned, but I'll sleep on the couch," he took the popcorn. It almost felt...normal. He remembered nights like this.

"The bed would be more comfortable for your injuries," (Y/n) looked at him, noticing his free hand absently petting the cat in his lap.

"I don't want to put you out more, (Y/n)"

The plump woman turned more, stirring her cat awake. This time she didn't run. "Frank I wouldn't have let you in my apartment if I felt that way,"

She bit her bottom lip and sighed. "I care about you and I don't want you feeling uncomfortable,"

"I'm not going to argue this. I'll sleep on the couch," he was firm. "If someone came through that door for me, I'd be the first one they'd see."

He sighed. "It's safer."

The look on her face was heart breaking. The urge to kiss her was to strong. He placed his hands on her lightly plump cheeks and pressed his lips to hers. Coffee, blood, and him flooded her senses. There was no stopping him on either side, save for the air that they were running out of.

"I can't..." He paused. "I can't lose you. I can't handle that,"

She sighed. "Fine. One night. Then we'll share my bed, okay?"

She was inviting him to stay longer? Really?

The night went on without incident until she began to fall asleep on his arm after setting up sheets and pillows for him. He helped her to bed before laying down himself.

The sleep was dreamless. A rare occurrence for him. A full right hours of sleep, only to be stirred by morning coffee.

His eyes opened slowly, noticing two weights on his body. Both cats were fast asleep on his chest, purring.

(Y/n) came in with coffee for them both, a smile on her beautiful face.

"You know cats lay on their family members who are sick or injured and purr to help heal them." She sat in a kitchen chair not to far away.

"Yeah, well I still don't like cats."

"Well, they sure like you."

What the hell did Frank start?

[greypoth0ts]

Picnic with Kita Shinsuke

characters: kita shinsuke

sticky notes: this is my second fan fict & im trying to get used to it! any feedback welcome ❤️

also: love with kita is gentle and considerate. also.. very calm.

enjoy!!

It was a beautiful morning. Cool summer breeze. It was Kita's idea to head to the summerhouse up in the hills. You could see the morning in its glory. Morning dew, that crisps fresh air.

"Hey babe, it's been a while since we went for a picnic. I was thinking... we could do one today"

"Today?!" you exclaimed.

"Yes today, babe. unless you don't feel lik...."

"Sure!!" - you cut Kita off because you were too excited. "i would love to go on a picnic with you." you beamed.

The entire month has been exhausting. work just kept piling. Kita comes home late from practice. Competition coming up. You barely speak to him or sit down to have a meal together. You missed him so much. He misses you too. He is dying to spend quality time with you.

So, he decided that he'll bring you away from the city. To his mountainside house that his family owns. He just wants to spend a week or two uninterrupted with you.

"I’ll pack the food!" you said excitedly.

"Okay babe, I’ll pack the mats & other stuff we will need" - Kita replied while giving you his sweetest smile.

You pack onigiri – how do we call it a picnic without Onigiri? You know it’s Kita’s favourite. He would never say no to onigiri.

Some grapes & salad. Of course, you bring along a bottle of sparkling juice, coupled with a few wine glasses.

You put on your best sundress - the one that Kita told you he loves the most. You put on some blush, which accentuates your cheekbones. Put on some gloss & left the room.

"I AM READY TO LEAVE!!"

Kita came out of the room and took a double take. Trying to mouth something, wanting to give you compliment about how you look... but he was tongue tied.

"You look beautiful" - that's all he could bring himself to say because at that moment he realised that no other words would do justice to how beautiful you looked.

He inched towards you, giving you a kiss on your forehead and gently caressed your hands.

You felt warm. your heart was fluttering. you couldn't help but smile.

Kita took the picnic basket from your hands and opened the car door for you.

"After you, my love".

Kita is a gentleman. That's how you fell in love with him in the first place. He never lost his temper; he was always calm even amid a shitstorm. He was the kind of calm & steady that you needed in your life. Sometimes you can't wrap your head around how the level of calm that he portrays.

"I'm bringing you to my favourite lavender hills. I hope you'll like it. It overlooks the river, lots of greenery & almost no traffic at all. Just you & I, babe." Kita spoke so gently to you. He has one hand on the wheel and another holding yours.

On the car ride there, the both of you caught up. You shared your stories of work, Kita shared with you how he feels about training, his performance and teammates. There was never a dull moment. Even if there was silence, the both of you were comfortable with it. Busking in the company of each other.

“Here we are, babe. Let me get the items and open the door for you. Wait for me here.”

You nod your head and waited for Kita in the car. You look at the surrounding and it was breath taking. It was nothing like the city. No hustle and bustle. It was tranquil, romantic and overlooking the lush greens.

Kita came back to the car with a bunch of lavender flowers for you.

“The prettiest flowers for the prettiest girl on earth. Here you go”

You blush. You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach.

“Thank you, babe. I love them.”

Kita gently led your hand to the picnic area. It was a lavender field overlooking the river. The sun shined gently down on the both of you and it wasn’t a humid day at all. You could feel the breeze on your skin, the smell of lavender and sound of the river hitting the rocks.

He led you to the area. It was all set up. Picnic mat on the floor, fairy lights laid out. Wine glasses already filled, food laid out on the floor. You didn’t have to do anything except for being present in the moment.

You sat down, took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You took it all in. You wanted to remember this. Every moment with Kita is so special. But this, this was something else.

He took out his guitar & started to serenade you.

“Any request, my love?” – Kita asked.

“mmmm, anything love. Anything you sing is good enough for me.” You replied.

He started to strum; the melody so familiar. You try to figure out what song it is.

You laid down on his lap and take this moment in. What people don’t know is that Kita can sing, he has the voice of an angel. He sings so beautifully; if you think that he is talented in volleyball, wait till you hear him sing. This man is talented. He also makes covers on YouTube and he is super popular.

“oh my heart hurts so good, I love you, babe, so bad, so bad.”

You take a mental picture of this. What a charmer, you thought to yourself. The lyrics so familiar and you know even though it is a song, he meant every word he said.

He put down his guitar... He gently cusps your face. At this point you’re so swooned by him. Your heart is swelling.

“and you need you know, that I’m hella obsessed with your face” – he cusps your face as he sings. He bends down and kisses you.

You melt into a puddle. I don’t think you can ever describe this love you share with Kita. Only the both of you have this love and this is what makes it special.

Kita and you spend the rest of the evening - enjoying each other’s company. ❤️

hxjsjsjdnd love with kita is so gentle, it knows no bounds & like i mentioned, he is the calm amid all shit storm. he is the anchor you need.

i hope you enjoyed this!! idk i'm still very new. feedbacks welcome! :)

[nct-jungjaehyun]

[10:56am] “happy 3 year anniversary!” you cheered, throwing your arms around boyfriend!jaehyun’s neck from behind. 

he returned a soft smile and titled his head back to be closer to you. “happy anniversary, baby.”

you snuggled in close to him and peered over his shoulder to get his attention. “let’s go somewhere to celebrate! where do you want to go?” you proposed.

for your first anniversary, jaehyun took you to universal studios, the perfect place for the child inside of you to set free and go wild. the both of you went on numerous rides and met all the cartoon characters. these happy memories are tucked inside a golden frame, where it sat on the corner of jaehyun’s desk, collecting a layer of dust on the glass surface.

from what you can remember, the following year was celebrated by watching movies at your comfy home and playing board games and throwing popcorn at each other. or, that was how it was supposed to carry out. a few weeks before that special day, you were promoted at your job. it was a position you have been working your butt off for. all those times you worked overtime at the office and the long presentations you made in front of the big bosses finally paid off. your hard work was recognized, and with it came a salary raise and a new title. like haechan, your fellow worker, you were starting to value materialistic things, because it gave you financial security. the world will only get more competitive and one had to be smart to make it in the real world. 

your boyfriend, however, thought differently. jaehyun is a graphic designer, more or less. his employers are his best friends, johnny and mark, who are successful youtubers. they have racked up 25 million subscribers since their college days and are most famous for their web show, “johnny’s communication center.” all the sound effects that tickle the audience, aesthetic cuts in the videos, translations and captions were jaehyun’s work. as his girlfriend, you supported him with your whole heart, but it’s been three years and he was still in the same spot he started with: a half-broken laptop and a wired mouse. countless times you tried to persuade him to find a better job, one that pays him enough to buy a smarter laptop and a wireless mouse. every time, he shakes his head no, telling you how difficult it is to find a job that lets him work hard and play hard. he persuades you in return to give up your job and find a job that allows you to rest the constant furrow between your eyebrows. you stopped trying to convince him and he did to you. you realized that he was happy with his job and if that was what he wanted, then he can do what he wants. a part of you felt that he was being irresponsible, but you were willing to be the mature one in this relationship.

back to the anniversary date, the movies and popcorn was cancelled, because there was a sudden meeting that you had to attend. the sponsor that you were trying to recruit arrived earlier than you expected and they wanted to hear about the project they were dumping money into right away. you phoned jaehyun immediately and apologized about the sudden intervention. 

“i told you about this like a month ago,” jaehyun whined.

you whispered to the phone, “i’m in a meeting right now. i can’t talk. i’ll finish as soon as i can, okay?” you didn’t even wait for a response before hanging up the call. unfortunately, the meeting took up almost the entire day. that day ended up going by just like any other normal day.

this year you made sure to clear your schedule and prepare for any thrilling events jaehyun had planned for your third anniversary. you anticipated disney land or perhaps tickets to k-con.

his eyes were glued to his laptop, where you can see the clips of mark and johnny being dragged and clipped together under jaehyun’s control. “i didn’t really plan anything. i figured you can get some rest after your busy week. you barely got any sleep,” he responded. 

this was not what you were expecting, but he was right. you haven’t had a day off in such a long time. your arms relaxed and you stood straight again. you asked him again if he was sure this was fine, and he mumbled a soft yes.

for the first time in a while, you were bored. you caught up with most of your work and had already returned all of your emails last night. all the chores and cleaning was already done by jaehyun, as well. the clothes were neatly folded in the drawers. the windows were so clean you can eat a meal off of it. have you mentioned the kitchen? the food was restocked and organized in the shelves. there was nothing else for you to do. laying on your bed, you tried to think of something to do.

no, there is one more thing you can do. you remember the picture frame on jaehyun’s desk.

it seemed like the world was against you. the moment you walked into the living room, you can see jaehyun cleaning the frame, just like he did to every other thing in this house.

you were just about to turn and go back to bed when you noticed something off about jaehyun. he seemed dazed by the picture as he kept brushing it with his thumb. there was a tug on your heart and your eyes glossed up at the sight of his sad smile. 

after a minute or two, jaehyun broke out of his trance. sensing your presence, he put the frame back down and returned to his normal self.

his normal self. jaehyun’s normal self is what he was two years ago, where each day was spent teasing and annoying you. you can’t remember the last time that jaehyun crept up on you to scare you or surprise you at your office. you missed having jaehyun acting child-like around you.

you were so deep in thought that you hadn’t realized that jaehyun was talking to you. the last words you heard were, “i’m gonna go,” and then he was out the door.

you trudged over to the couch and sat down, clutching the sponge-bob plushie you snatched from nearby close to your chest. it finally dawned on you that you were not the mature one in this relationship. you never were. jaehyun was the bigger person. he adapted to your beliefs and matched your standards. tears rolled down your cheeks and soaked up on the plushie.

while your sobs filled the room, you concluded that jaehyun must be leaving you for good. he grew tired of your selfish needs and is finding someone who actually deserves him.

you were almost too caught up by your emotions to see that the door to your apartment was opening. jaehyun leapt to your side, setting the bouquet of flowers on the coffee table. in less than a second, he was sitting beside you, handing you tissues and comforting you.

“my love, what’s bothering you? you can tell me and we’ll figure it out together,” he worried.

you punched sponge-bob and sniffled, “why are you back? i thought you left!”

“i went out to buy you these flowers, i thought i-” 

you flung your arms around him, taking him by surprise. “i’m sorry.”

he hugged you back, squeezing you so tight you can barely breathe.

after the two of you released each other, he wiped away your tears with his sleeve and brushed your bangs to the side. “it’s okay.”