#I promise I’m not drunk and I don’t advise you to use alcohol to get to that point as it’s dumb and useless

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Warning y’all in advance that I might have reached the end of my Fluffvember stuff :( Simply because idk if I’ll have time to write/draw anything else, I’ma lll ou of queued stuff. But it seems like some are still utilizing the prompts, so I hope everyone continues to have fun with it <3

[neosero]

[ 01:15pm ]

and sometimes you have to remind yourself they’re gods

p.ii | fontaine version

[ 12:30am ] and yet, you still resist

word count | 7.5k total

noteworthy warnings | gn!reader; excessive use of the word ‘you’ sorry lol; rushed fiction; dark themes [ ? ]; violent/gory descriptions [ ? ] ( venti ); false descriptions of the archon war, implied kidnapping ( zhongli ); false post-cataclysm descriptions; inazuma spoilers for new players ( ei ); implied sag!au ( nahida ); version 3.2 spoilers and beyond ( special mention o.o );

if you find any of these warnings uncomfortable scroll away. viewer discretion is advised.

THE ANEMO ARCHON Lord Barbatos | wc. 1.5k+

Venti had always been known to chug down one too many kegs of wine when given the chance.

Although he slurs about the price going to his tab, it is always you who has to fix up every mess. Whether it be ending fist fights, pleading with angry bartenders or paying half his tabs in compensation, the guy really knows how to ruin someone’s night.

“It wasn’t my fault this time.” Venti’s whining starts right off the bat, not caring that you have barely made it any distance from the bar. It's clear with the way he stumbles that he has long since past his limit. Your arm securely holds him by the shoulder opposite of you, an attempt to steady his wobbly footing although the sigh from his lips tells you he believes the touch is something else. 

“I don’t need your excuses, Barbatos.” Your words are hushed but still harsh. His body deflates at the sound of his name used in such a tone, however he still refuses to relent.

“I promise you it wasn’t me who started it. The guy was…mouthing about everyone in there; he started saying nasty stuff about Brook’s drinks, called my music terrible and he then started…” saying things about you.

Well the guy attempted to until Venti stood from his stool, the force of the movement - or so he explained - must have tipped the drink over and spilled all over the poor guy’s clothes. Of course he got angry, who wouldn’t but when he started shouting about payment that’s when things took a turn. When Venti declined and left to grab another bottle the guy rushed him. It wasn’t his fault the guy was so drunk he missed the swing and stumbled off so badly he tripped and broke his nose. But it wasn’t like you were gonna believe a word coming from his mouth, he’s played the intoxicated card too much for it to have just been an accident this time around.

“I know you pushed him.” He opens his mouth to retort, “I know you pushed him because candles just don’t blow out within a closed bar with no windows, Barbatos. I know you pushed him because that man explained it felt like he was being shoved into the ground when he fell, Barbatos. I know you pushed him because this has been the same story with you for the last three weeks! By the gods, what has gotten into you?”

You’ve both gotten far enough from Springvale to talk freely, but hearing your voice carry in the winds of the quiet forest hurts a lot more than being scolded in front of the dozen or so citizens. You come across an abandoned supply wagon and take this as a moment to stop. By helping Venti up the back of the wagon to sit on its edge, you take the time to look him over. It is always surprising how he comes back unscathed from every encounter; not a single hair out of place, nor smudge of cheap alcohol anywhere on his clothes or lingering scent of said alcohol anywhere in the air - only noticeable when close enough to his lips. Venti sways in his seat, head hung low like a child who's been told off by their parents and sometimes it feels like just that. You sigh.

“I’m not upset with you.” The change in your tone makes his head raise and a noticeable color return to his face.

Yeah, just like a child.

“I just wish you’d fix whatever you have going on with you right now. I have a lot on my plate as is with the Knights of Favonius and getting everything I can with that Snezhnayain diplomat. I had to leave a meeting that could have been a pivotal breakthrough with them today because of you!”

You don’t see it with how you fix the legs of your armored plating, but Venti rolls his eyes. He knows about the plans of the Cryo Archon. He knows a lot more than what he lets on to the traveler or anyone else who inquiries about the matter; there's a reason he normally steers clear of the Adventures Guild’s Katherine. Still the more he relays the information to you, warnings upon warnings of caution, you don’t listen. It is demeaning knowing what little trust you have for your own god, let alone having to continue this conversation every night.

“...and you might not take this seriously, Venti, but it's really disappointing.”

“You're more disappointed that I ruined date night.” Venti had tried to hold it in, he really did but hearing you praise that woman Signora over giving praise to your own archon would make any one of Celestia’s chosen snap. He stands then, the most sober movement he has had all night and you scoff.

“Oh may Celestia take me now! This again? For the last and final time I am simply working with the women. It’s my job and whatever I do shouldn’t matter to you.”

“And why is that?” 

“Because you are a god!” The winds pick up, there is a clear green gleam in his eyes you’ve never seen before. “People offer prayers to you daily. They work and celebrate all in your name. You used to split mountains, Barbatos…What I do should be insignificant to the eyes of someone like you: our supposedly high and mighty deity.”

“It's high time you act like it.”

There is a heavy thudding in the distance, you turn around missing the clear shake in Venti’s hands. The wind rages on stirring the clouds above but you don’t care as you catch sight of a Mitachurl barreling in your direction. Clearly your shouting stirred it somehow and with how fast it's charging there is no room to run.

You draw your sword and stand in front of Venti as protection, “Damn. We’ll continue this later.” He’s gone quiet and when you dare to look away from the charging beast to see your archon, your skin runs cold. He’s bleeding in his right hand, fist balled so tight he shakes as he breaks skin and it runs down to evaporate before it hits the ground. His lyre rests in his left but it's different; the strings, once a vibrant glow of green, run a deep dark red almost the same color as the blood on his skin.

“Vent-” you begin to call out but the words are cut off by the heavy shout before you. You turn your neck quickly to see the Mitachurl with its ax raised high, about to strike. When had it gotten so close? You brace yourself ready to hold off the blunt force as best you can, turning again to shout for Venti to move.

But he strums his first note.

This sound is far different then what you’re used to. What was once a gentle, harmonic strumming of a lyre blessed in the winds, now feels dissonant. The sound is a deep vibration one that could only be described when hitting the wrong keys at the end of a piano in quick concession. A sound you feel breach into the roots of your lungs and pry out all the air you have stored.

You can’t breathe.

The sword falls from your hands as you frantically clutch your chest. Your legs wobble and your head is hammering, the need to breath is overwhelming but with every harsh breath you take in it all seems to be sucked out.

“Barbat-”

“You want a god. I’ll show you god.”

Barbatos strums his second note. 

This sound has a higher pitch, the noise most quickly catches you as that of a violin when you bring it’s bow down with a little too much pressure against the wrong chord. There’s a force to this note, one you must assume was the same the guy at the bar felt as you are shoved into the wagon. The force of the blow leaves you more winded then you were before. All your strength feels drained from your body and your knees give out. There is no time to recover though…

Not when Lord Barbatos pulls at his third and final string.

You don’t register this one, the ringing in your ears and overall loss of oxygen leaving you closer and closer to the brink of unconsciousness. Even so you watch him toy with the string. The wind has picked up and now you notice the Mitachurl raised in the air, it struggles with its head thrashing about. Venti turns to you, a smile crazed and eyes dim.

Then he lets the string go.

It's hard to watch. Wind isn’t a visible thing, but in this very moment you pinpoint just where the breeze shifts and changes as it tears through the beast limb from limb. Arms and legs twist and bend, its chest constricts slowly and its head rotates like an owl with a chorus of loud cracks of bones; if it wasn’t for how close you feel to the brink of death yourself you know the sounds of the snapping and screams would have killed you alone. Barbatos stares still. 

It doesn’t last long, the sheer horror of it all ends quickly as the Mitachurl is compressed into the origin of the tornado it's caught in until it blows in a rain of blood. The loss of oxygen finally gets to you as your eyes drift but not before seeing the finale of your oh so mighty deity. 

He stands unmoving as the blood pours down in a shower along his face, eyes now closed, “disappointed in your god now?”

THE GEO ARCHON Rex Lapis | wc. 1.6k+

Six-thousand years ago, the start of the Archon War.

A long and painful four-thousand years of battle over a couple seats at the throne that was already predetermined. Four-thousand years wasted away killing friends and family and loved ones for power they themselves now wish to throw away. A lot of gods didn’t want to be a part of this…holy massacre - or whatever these scholars wish to paint it as - and you were one of them. You were given many names for your time: Theia, Anthos, Gia. The only thing that remains certain within all books of history is your ability to create elemental stones.

Ascension silver, within today’s terms, was a skill none could manage; for being a god who could bond to a multitude of elements at once was beyond even the original seven of Celestia. The gems you produced offered various needs opposed to the power of visions; pyro silver for warmth, hydro silver to be shattered and give rain, geo crystals for fortitude in times of terrible weather, dendro crystals to fertilize plants, cryo silver to cool in the warmer weathers and electro silver to strengthen weapons for combat. It all could be found in the midst of your domain.

Your domain resided in the Huaguang Stone Forest, within the underbelly of Mt. Aocang. It was just a large hollowed cave filled with crystals and home to a small community of humans. They traded off the crystals you produced, for food and supplies, holding festivals and village gatherings under your name. When they needed protection, your crystal walls provided and the Vishaps, organic creatures of your creation, helped protect those from outside.

All was good, all was at peace. 

Until six-thousand years ago, the start of the Archon War.

Tremors grew in both number and extremity over time. Your people starved and scared as trade drew to a halt and more and more outsiders flocked for your domain for protection. The energy of fellow gods and people you once thought would grow old together die out like the stars one by one. However, within your domain all was good, all was at peace, all was protected.

Or so you thought until you met Rex Lapis, the self proclaimed God of Geo, four-thousand years ago during the Archon War.

He requests your assistance, he speaks of monsters and demons emerging from the earth of Guili Plains and that without you they would consume the earth and all within it. You were hesitant to believe him, not when he stormed in covered in the blood of gods and an army of yaksha armed tooth and nail to your fortress of peace. When you speak of the wellbeing of your people he promises to ensure their safety with a few of his yaksha, but when you question him further its General Musatas who warns you to watch your tongue when speaking to one of the chosen seven. Thinking back about it now that should have been the first sign of danger; putting your trust in a god fighting to be apart of the corrupt Celestia. But your people needed more help than what you could provide alone, and you still young and naive wanted to believe that the word of the god of gods was absolute.

So you leave and for a thousand years you fight for a cause you thought to be pointless. You watch gods die, your crystal shields only doing so much in the onslaught of war. Whenever you came close to being wounded it was Morax who protected you from harm time and time again. Taking the blunt force of claws and the heavy pummeling from Osial, all to keep you from harm's way. You had thought it was admirable…if only that same persistence was there for Guizhong.

When she perished on the battlefield you all were pushed back. In a last stand against the enemy you took hold at Mt. Tianheng, and it was there we prospered. Rex Lapis’ sheer power and battle strategy in command of the adeptus and five general yaksha pushed through for the victory and settlement of Liyue. It was then the god of contracts requested a binding: all remaining adeptus would stand to protect Liyue if danger ever stirred once again.

And once again you were a fool to trust the words of the god of gods. 

For the others were allowed to roam as they pleased until called upon and you were to remain within Liyue Harbor forever at the side of your god Rex Lapis. He claimed it was for protection, your powers being the strongest he’s seen for a lifetime, however you could only recall being of no help to protect the ones you hold dear on the battle field. 

You fight, complain and wrestle against his iron grip but the contract holds still. As the Harbor prospered and grew over the years, it left you with the stronger desire to see your people once again. A request with the yaksha would fall on deaf ears as they were still to handle the aftermath within the Plains, but when talk of corruption and madness spread among the masses you had feared the worst. Against your better judgment you left, you thought the wellbeing of your people is more important than the loyalty you have in some god.

When you return to the Stone Forest, you’re enveloped with a sense of home. You spot Cloud Retainer at the top of the peak, but she is gone before you can offer a wave. When you finally reach the door to your domain your heart drops. The Geovishaps who stand guard are nowhere to be found and the energy of your barrier left so long ago has run dry. Even with the clear signs, you still push forward and believe in the word of Morax.

Still so young and naive.

The domain is bathed in dried blood. There are bodies upon bodies of your people scattered along the floor, their blood painted over your crystals and the bodies of yakshas having killed everyone else looked to have turned against each other. Tears of pure silver fall from your eyes as you make way through your temple, a last ditch effort for hope of any survival…for anything.

Everything lays in shambles - crystal decoration of your own design shattered across the floor, Vishaps of all ages lifeless and unmoving just like the images of the gods all those years ago. What breaks you is what sits at your throne: the remaining villagers all curled together encased in a crystal prison. It was a skill you taught your strongest Vishaps just before your departure, never considering that they would need to use it you had no way of reversing its effects. You fall into a sob, pillars of crystals sprouting just where your tears meet the bloody ground. All hope is lost from you until you feel the looming presence of Rex Lapis.

At first, you're overjoyed.

He could somehow fix this. Given his ability to cleanse gods and shape islands with minimal effort, this could be done by the snap of a finger. You stand with some difficulty, the gems having crystalized at the bottom hem of your garments almost keeping you weighted to the floor as a warning. You pay no mind.

Then, all at once, you’re afraid.

When you reach him, smiling and happy for once to be in his presence, the weight around you feels heavy. The glare of Rex Lapis is stone cold, gold irises like slits of the dragon you witnessed decapitate so many of your old friends. The general Alatus to his left stands armed and ready, and to his right Cloud Retainer - one normally so proud and boastful, hangs her head low behind the god before her. 

“You left.” His voice is calm, a stark contrast to the way he is looking at you. Glaring at you like the enemy. “Well yes.” You begin, a stutter to your voice, “the war has long since reached its close…and with n-no more danger I thought it would be alright to-”

“Danger is always upon us. You went against our agreement.” There's a bass in his voice that rocks a tremor through your body as well as the cave you reside in, its strength leaves Alatus to stumble his footing and Cloud Retainer to dip her gaze that much lower. You, however press on, “I had no plans to be gone long a-and with no word from my home I feared the worst. So I had to-”

His hand envelops your throat in an instant. Rough, scaled fingers grip tightly around you and when you make an effort to speak he squeezes harder. “You had to remain within the harbor. We had an agreement. You swore an oath to me, an oath that was never to be broken.” Frantic fingers grip at his hand, you try to pry him off of you but your body feels like it's being pulled by an unknown force that leaves you weak and him unmoving. He watches you struggle, and somehow in those eyes you see him pleased with the way you whither in his grasp.

“Should I take care of them, Master?” General Alatus’ mask envelopes his face, karmic energy flowing from his body. You shutter as his blade is brought to your sides. Rex Lapis turns his head swiftly, the first he’s looked away from you since he’s got here, and glares harder. In seconds the general is brought to the floor in a shout of pain. In the position he kneels, Alatus clutches the floor in a grip so tight you’d think he was trying to push against the heavy pull of the world’s gravity. “You will hold your tongue until I see fit for your suggestions, General.”

Alatus nods as best he can, body struggling just as much as yours to try and fight against the power of the god of geo. The glow of his scales dims, and the yaksha begins to breathe as he stands on wobbly legs. It is then the archon drops you. You swallow oxygen in desperately and cough it back out heavily as you gaze up at the man before you. When he reaches for you again, you scurry away but not far enough. This time he grasps your arm dragging you away breathless and reaching for what’s left of your home.

He scoffs at your sorry state, “your offense to me isn’t great, but you still will be punished for your disobedience.” You’re helpless to it all, too weak to challenge one of the chosen seven of Celestia. He snaps his fingers and just like all those years ago he takes you from your home.

Back then it was for a cause, an unspoken oath you had no idea would chain you to a man you don’t believe in; but now it's as a prisoner, a powerless god who watches their domain crumble right before your eyes.

THE ELECTRO ARCHON Raiden Shogun | wc. 1.1k+

“Leave us.”

For a moment, you think she sounds disappointed. The guards release you from your binds and you're quick to snatch your wrists away to rub the tender skin. They give stiff bows and with stiff, sharp pointed turns make way for the doors of the Shogunate’s chambers. When they leave the room, Baal and the kitsune Saiguu emerge from the panels behind the back of the throne. Baal is as calm as ever; she sits eyes closed, knees folded below her and her wagasa twirling in her slender fingers as if pondering something. Saiguu seems more openly displeased; her tail rests rigid behind her when she sits beside her own Shogun, she looks concerned as she scans your body and you notice she has left her cigarette holder behind.

You are in real trouble now.

Beelzebul had descended her throne before the guards even walked through the door. She paces in between you and her sister, her strides come to match the tempo of the thunder that increases in volume over the heavy rain from the outside world. When a particularly loud clash resonates through the skies, Baal stops her twirling. “Ei, you’re beginning to cause a stir amongst the people.”

She stops her pacing and so too does the thunder if only for a little. Beelzebul looks you over and it seems that fans her flame even more when her eyes rack over your body. Her gaze doesn’t match that of Saiguu’s though. “You’re wounded.” She finally speaks, it's more at you than to you. The wound is nothing serious, a small scratch to the arm that has left your garments a little bloody but it's really nothing that won't heal by the morning. She moves quickly for bandages, trying and failing to distract herself from imploding, but when she gets close with the adhesive you dodge around her touch.

The first clash of lightning strikes the seas.

Beelzebul sighs and stands, you watch the bandage begin to buzz and spark in her grasp. “Bleed out for all I care.” In an instant, the cloth blows and dissolves in a small show of flames. You flinch.

“Ei-” Baal begins again, her hair glows at the tips and you know she is fighting to calm the storm of emotion that continues to rage outside.

“What did you hope to gain by seeing her again at such a time? We are in the middle of a war of gods and you see it fit to chase a traitor.” 

“Chiyo is no traitor!” You don’t mean to yell, but the way she spits the word ‘traitor’ has your blood boiling. Baal makes no effort to calm you down. “She had been trapped inside the belly of that beast for so long; months fighting her way from the inside out. That could turn anyone to madness…and when she finally emerges scared and confused you try to kill her.”

“She’s become crazed with madness. Something in that beast left with her and a blight like that can’t be cleansed. Saiguu knew the moment she saw her.” You break your gaze to look at the goddess.

Saiguu nods at you even without looking your way, “Not even a cleansing from the Sacred Sakura would have helped. Even being that close I could tell that blight ran deeper than her soul. I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head vigorously. There had to be something you could do, even if that meant caging her within the temple for an eternity anything would have been better than more death. “There was something we could have done. I know it. Rukkhadevata would know something; she knows everything. Let me go to Sumera and-”

A dry chuckle bursts from Beelzebul, “It seems you might have been tainted by whatever she had. If you think you are in the right to start making requests now I can assure you it won’t happen. Have you forgotten the current situation: we are at war, not just us but all the gods. You were only lucky enough to get to the forests before I had to save you from that beast.” The air around you feels static. The hairs on your body raise and the wound on your arm feels like it’s being pinched every so often. “Why are you so adamant on leaving my protection?”

“Protection?! Your protection! You keep me imprisoned. I cannot see anyone but who you allow me too. I am followed constantly and whenever I so much as breathe in the direction of the outside world I’m dragged away. You keep me here shielded like some precious doll while everyone else fights.” Baal’s gaze meets yours behind her sister almost there to push you on. “I am a soldier to this nation before anything else and would rather take my chance out there than to live knowing I sat sheltered and protected like a coward with you here.”

Ei’s stunned. A storm ripples through her gaze and for a second you think those purple hues of clouds show shines of rain. 

Instead lightning clashes before you.

The blunt end of her blade is brought to the heart of your chest in a flash. The feeling of its energy pulsing so close makes the tales of its power in battle sound underplaying, stray bolts of lightning bounce off it and reach in to rub under your clothed skin. You jolt. Saiguu makes an effort to stand but Makato raises her hand to halt her advance.

“If you wish to die so eagerly, I will strike you down here myself.”

It's clear she means it; having already slain and severely injured two of her closest friends there would be no hesitation if you had to be next. Makoto finally decides it's time to intervene, her fingers curl along her sister’s shoulder and although Ei doesn’t break away the energy pressing into your chest does decline in pressure if only for a second. “Pain doesn’t last an eternity.”

They don’t even look at each other when she speaks, she just holds her there. You think it has to be something only they could feel as twin gods and hope Makoto wins the internal battle. The sword dissolves in her grasp and you let go of the breath you had thought to be your last. “You're both hurting and you might fight it but it's for the same reason. Chiyo was dear to all of us, so were Sasayori and the others but we cannot let their deaths bring about our own. What would they have fought for? Have died for?” Ei brushes the hand from her shoulder and walks towards the balcony in long strides. 

Makoto does nothing to stop her, choosing it best to let her storm settle on its own then to try and guide its course. She does turn to you, pleading you to understand — her sister only cares for the best of you. You don’t respond, staying glued to the floor while your mind tries to catch up to your heart. Ei pushes into the storm outside that leaves the doors rattling and a chill to the room. Tearing your gaze from the ground you look to your god, she now stands on the ledge head turned up towards the heavy rainfall. She looks almost strangely content with the chaos outside, you could still make out the rotting corpse of the great serpent in the distance. There is a pain bubbling from your gut as your heart still hammers in your chest. Is this the weight you must bear under the care of a god?

THE DENDRO ARHCON Lesser Lord Kusanali | wc. 1.5k+

“Tell me: what do you think shapes a dream?”

You should have known something was wrong the moment Nahida had requested to see you personally. This wouldn’t be the first time one of the archons has requested something like this from you, however Nahida’s tone of voice somehow puts you on edge. The way it echoes in the hollow room she had led you in racks a chill down your spine.

“A dream is made solely by your emotions.” You recall this from your psychology class, the professor was so invested in the topic it was kinda hard to forget. “Whatever fuels that of your wishes, memories and abstract thoughts all tie into what can shape a dream when you fall asleep.” You’ve recited that line so many times before that final exam and still remember being so pissed it was never even mentioned within the test. “However, the worries that rest in the back of your mind might also shift the course of a dream as well.”

“Hmm. I had never thought of it that way.” Nahida curls her hand under her chin thinking, “would that be the same case for a nightmare?” 

“I would assume so…yes.” There is a piece you’re missing in the puzzle of questions. Her curiosity is hiding something else, something that you can’t picture right out but you do feel it with every passing second. “But why would someone try to sleep with negative emotions moving through their head?”

If it weren’t for the fact that you knew this is a virtual world you would have been fooled to see Nahida as the child that she is. Her small frame looks up at you expectantly; being the only person in her world to ever know more than that of her vast case of knowledge, she treats you much more like a new toy to play around with than as the high god everyone else believes you to be. 

That in and of itself is both a blessing and a curse.

“Sometimes it can’t be helped.” You try to not think about it but you tell yourself this everyday now. “It’s something we can’t fight…the negative emotions, they are always with us because we never know what the future will hold.” 

“It's all a random chance of time. One day, you could find yourself on the receiving end of a terrible storm, you could walk straight into dog poop with brand new shoes or you could even walk into a meeting with all your clothes inside out…One day you could lose a loved one, you could walk into a store and see your house in flames on the news, you could even-”

“Be trapped with no way home.” Your eyes widen. Nahida’s head is tilted ever so slightly, eyes squinted and you realize she is studying your reaction, “y-yeah you could.”

“Fascinating.”

You don’t even realize it but your voice waivers, “What is?”

Nahida looks away from you to her holo-screen behind her. With delicate fingers she swipes through files and documents you can’t catch sight of until her little fingers stop on one. You can make out the screen and it looks like a video. She taps it.

A screen materializes before you and the video plays. Image looks like the holding cells of the Knights of Favonius headquarters, but the person within the cell looks like no character you have seen in game at all. It isn’t like you remember every npc within this world, however, each character has similar features that make it obvious in telling who is who. Could this be a new character? There is no knowledge of them in recent patch notes.

Nahida’s voice startles you. 

“Oh…you must be curious? This is user 804897112. Although the name he chose at the start was Starlord, his real name is Chris.”

What?

“It took him four weeks before he slipped up. They hadn’t noticed him as the Creator of that server yet but when he went around sprouting drunk nonsense about the Archon War at Angel Share things took a turn.” You haven’t been watching the screen, too caught up on understanding what Nahida had just said but the scream catches you off guard.

That person. That real life person, Chris, is chained and on his knees before Jean, Rosaria, Kaeya, Diluc and Venti. Kaeya’s sword is jabbed into Chris’ shoulder, Rosaria looks to be trying to get him to cough up any information he knows but you can’t hear anything. Did Nahida only want you to hear that screams? There is a troubled look on Jean’s face like she’s reluctant to continue this, but Venti says something that rouses everyone in the room and pales Chris’ skin. He’s crying now, snotty and nasty as Diluc beelines to him with his heavy blade.

Diluc’s greatsword raises and you gasped in horror as its brought down on Chris’ head. Out of sheer fear you clutch your own neck. Blood seeps out in a sparkle of gold and they all stand as stunned as you, the poor boy’s head tumbling over in the pool of it blood. The video ends there.

It’s hard to breathe and you're given no time to recover yourself as another plays. “This is user 119876532, Diana. She asked questions about Scaramouche’s true origins to the Shogunate. Knowledge no one should possess and again before the establishment of her identity as Creator.” This one carries no build and is from a farther angle atop a tree, like from the perch in the eyes of a bird, but it's all so vividly clear. The girl is tied to her knees before the shogun, spilling out words too quickly for you read and understand. There is no need to though, Ei is as calm as ever. She listen to Diana’s rambling, and for a second you think she might believe whatever she’s saying. Five seconds later, you watch Diana die in the same flash of lightning as La Signora.

You can’t stand now, legs given out in the horror of it all. The videos continue like this until you can’t bear to look at the screen anymore.

User 908765342 crushed by meteorite hurled by Zhongli. User 743828950 — Sam, found dismembered by a pack of hilichurls. Robert gets mauled by a geovishap. Lee can’t take it anymore and…

“Why?” The tears fall from your eyes in heavy waves. “Why show me all this? Why tell me about all these people? I don’t-”

It all connects in seconds: they found out about you.

You move to stand hurriedly and make a beeline for the exit but your feet stay planted to the floor with the sight before you. The Doctor stands grinning from ear to ear. He clasps his hands together with a sigh of glee. “You ask why and it’s simple: you survived.”

He’s on you in an instant, tightly holding your wrists in his hands and preventing your escape no matter how hard you thrash. He breathes into your neck harshly and you sob. He whispers breathlessly into your ear how he has never been this fascinated, this drawn to a specimen before and promises to be gentle in your dissection. Nahida watches you with wide interested eyes as you struggle in hope of saving yourself. You cry out to them, to your guards, to Lumine or Dehya or Thoma. To anyone who would hear you even though no one can. But still…

You scream.

Cyno breaks down your door, his gaze looking over the room hastily to find the culprit to dare stir the peaceful slumber of the Creator.

It was a dream? It was a dream and yet your wrists burn, the images of all those people looked so real.

Was this a sign? Would that happen to you if any of them ever found out? Have they already started to suspect something? What if you don’t ever get out of here? What if-

“Your grace?” Cyno’s hand brings you back to reality, hard. His fingers feel almost frozen over against the skin of shoulder and you flinch away in such a haste it brings crease to his brows. You almost question why he runs so cold but with him looking at you with so much concern you don’t think it's him that is the problem. “Do I need to go get Tighnari? I will only be a couple hours but I could stop by our Archons domain just so-”

“No!” Your voice is filled with fright, but it’s obvious that the sheer volume of your scream is what stuns him the most. You can feel the sweat run down your temple and the pound of your heart so aggressively in your ears. It takes you far too long to compose yourself but you are grateful that Cyno listens and just stands by your side.

“There is no need for all of that. I’m just a little shaken.” He doesn’t seem to take your word for it but when you explain that it was only a dream and not some illness that caused this he is partially relieved. “The doctor won’t be needed for this and it isn’t like this is something of his expertise.” 

Cyno offers a quick nod before he settles in a chair at your desk. He shuffles closer to your bedside with a cross to his arms and a tense raise of his shoulders. You can’t blame him for staying alert; dreams are a new phenomenon within Sumeru and with the few months you have known him, you know Cyno doesn’t do well with handling business he cannot comprehend for himself.

It takes too long for you to finally get calm within the safety of your own bed, but it does help that Cyno — as loyal to you as he once was to the akademiya — stays by your side the whole night. 

It gets hard trying to keep your mind from blurring the line between your life outside and the one within this game. Watching Cyno sleep next to you, the steady rise and fall of his chest is far too detailed for your sensitive mind to keep considering these people aren’t real people. A Sumeru rose, a gift handed to you by a child of the city, loses a petal and you watch the leaf fall then blow in a spark of pixels. You’ve been here too long. 

You need to get out . . . and soon.

THE EVERLASTING GOD OF ARCANE WISDOM : Scaramouche | wc. 1.2k+

You should have known this could have been another one of the Doctor’s tricks.

You are privy to his experiments and know just about everything there is to know about his latest desires as a man of knowledge…but it seems you have gotten too relaxed within his presence to suspect that you were the next pawn to be sacrificed within this long orchestrated game.

Being left to go through with the final reports on the Balladeer’s status without his supervision should have been the first and only sign needed to show you something else was at play here. The Doctor was always to see everything himself, deeming everyone else — even you — inferior to his intellect and prone to time consuming slip ups. Why you would ever trust an order like this for its face value you will never know. But now you can tell it was a mistake.

The laboratory has been cleared on the orders of the Doctor, and yet you feel like you have been being watched ever since you have entered the building.

Since you entered Sumeru for the matter.

Pushing away the chills, you check the sixth harbinger’s vitals. Everything looks to be in order but that is to be as expected; the Doctor had said this could be close to being his greatest creation and that would obviously show in his work. You hum triumphantly and quickly move on to the next task. The body of the Prodigal is kept in a separate room, with how massive the final product came to be it was bound to happen. It is still mesmerizing to know how much raw power is stored within a gnosis on its own. Crazy how an item so small is able to create mass destruction in the world.

Everything seems in perfect shape when you finally reach the test sight. The distant hum of the overhanging lights do little to add any glory to the giant machine before you. Even without eyes its looming figure looks down upon you as if it can tell the significant power difference between you two. Dottore had told you it was nonsense; the Balladeer would be in a state of hypostasis until his body finally converges with the power of the electro gnosis. He couldn’t possibly be able to tell a slime from a hilichurl let alone know when anyone enters the room. 

You find it — much like everything else that comes with interacting with the Doctor —  demeaning. He undermines everyone and if it weren’t for his rank you'd have thought he was just too full of himself. His genius could be on a par with the dendro archon but that's something you’ll never admit even to the nicest of his segments. 

Data shows that Scaramouche is still stable. The gnosis too somehow remains with a constant flow of energy as it diverts power to the main systems. It still eludes you how someone like Scaramouche can handle power as strong as this for as long as he has. Though you do not know the criteria of the ranking amongst harbingers, his order in the hierarchy holds true.

So caught up in your own thoughts you hadn’t even noticed how close you had gotten to the body. If that presence was intimidating at a distance it pales in comparison to being up close. It towers above like the clock-house in Snezhnaya, arms and hands long and big enough to crush you whole. You shake your head from the thought. 

Your hand reaches to touch the machine. The metal is cold to the touch but there is a sensation of static that travels along your arm the longer you linger there. By the time you move your hand away ready to depart to report back to Dottore, a sudden shock sparks from your hand. You pull it back with a wince. This must be an unforeseen side effect to the gnosis. 

All at once your head throbs with white noise. It starts off faint but then rises to ring above all else. At first you believe it to be a faulty pipeline and look around for any signs of damage but yet again you see the perfectly unharmed lab. The sound is overwhelming and you can feel something pressing into the back of your mind. Memories not of your own flash before your eyes.

The sensations are too much to bear and you collapse when it's all too much at once. The moment you come too it feels different. The buzzing in your arm has spread throughout your body, and the noise that filled your mind is now gone, replaced by knowledge that leaves you weighted to the ground trying to understand it all.

The Balladeer…Scaramouche is…

“Was a puppet.” The voice is familiar and you cannot believe that its real. “A puppet that now wields a greater power than that of the god who chose to abandon him all those years ago.” He has ascended and so soon. Dottore’s notes were foolproof, everything down to the last decimal was precise so how could his hypothesis be false?

Scaramouche offers a snarl, and it's only now that you can register that he is inside your head with his reply, “because Dottore is a buffoon. He will always underestimate someone who he believes he could outsmart at any game, under any circumstance and do so without question. It’s that pride that will be his undoing in due time.” He walks around you, there are long pauses between every sentence and he speaks as if you will be overwhelmed by him just looking in your direction. You don’t know why you feel so grateful for it.

“Enough about him though.” He stops to kneel down to where you lay on the ground. His hand ever so delicately lifts your chin to meet his gaze and he gives you opportunity to look away. You don’t. “Let me see into you.”

Words filter through your head without him even needing to open his mouth. You’ve been connected to him by the soul, a pact between your compatible life force and his new godly abilities that were enforced the moment you touched him through the machine. You’ve been chosen as his first and whatever that entitles you don’t know but you do feel the tears roll down your eyes. Your mind cannot decipher if they are tears of joy or resentment of this new god.

Why are you calling him that?

Scaramouche wipes them away with a wicked smile. “No need for sorrow my chosen. For as your new god I will craft a world for you that leaves no room for those emotions to ever cross your features again. The Everlasting God of Arcane Wisdom will pave a way for your salvation and my glory to rise. So long as you put your faith in me and me alone.”

His hands fall from your face as he stands, but they still remain outstretched to you. The invitation hangs in the air and yet his smile never waivers like he knows what you will choose him over anything else. Like you will choose him over life itself. 

And for a moment you think you will.

a/n: this is very dark of me and really shouldn’t be my comeback post but rewatching nahida’s introduction really had me in the mood to bring our archons back into the light. also yes i am formally back to writing so do expect more posts soon to come.

p/s: furina version will be up as soon as i catch up enough with her character.

[whosjunglejim4322]

Dom!mark lee w breeding kink for @nakamotocore I am v excited this is nasty aha devil emoji, est. relationship, uhm spitting, hand/finger kink, overindulgence of the word baby, fingering, creampie, bathroom sex, fucking in front of a mirror, mark has a nasty mouth, he's a sweetie who is acc very in love w u, toothrotting fluff at the end

It really wasn't your fault. You are pro comfort above all else, in fact, it's even advised by certified healthcare professionals, to not wear underwear occasionally - who are you to risk not giving yourself the care you need and or deserve?

Sure, maybe you should've worn something a bit less conspicuous than a dress, but it's not like you aren't careful. Of course you are! Especially since you and Mark are visiting Jaehyun and Johnny at their new home payed by Jae's onlyfans money - but silly you, had still accidentally managed to expose yourself - luckily, with only your boyfriend there to see.

You'd been rummaging in J number one and two's fridge, eager to find something behind the rows of beer that stacked the shelves, organized neatly as if they'd actually taken their time on making at least twenty five cans of bud light look presentable.

Mark had followed, having promised to bring a couple of the beverages back to the living room, just as you spotted the non alcoholic juice cocktail nestled all the way in the back of the bottom row - your fingers suddenly prickling with newfound determination.

"You're really.....fuck," Mark groaned from somewhere behind you and all at once the breeze against your bare center had you shivering. You've been caught. "come here."

It was a silent, steady command that rang with regained composure and as you stood up straight, Marks hands gripped your hips with ferocity, spinning you around to face him.

If the flaring of his nostrils and the glossy, lost glare in his doe eyes were anything to go by, you'd ticked something inside of him that began raging like a bull behind his ribcage; dick swelling in his sweats at a rapid rate, while he pulled you closer to his body by the swell of your ass.

Your gasp was a puff against his cheek, pupils blown wide when you felt the warmth of his palm against your sex from behind, the prod of his middle finger. You could still hear Jaehyun and Johnny in the living room just around the corner, furthering the mixture of thrill and embarrassment.

"You did this on purpose, huh?" He growled it against your ear, the vibration trilling down your spine and flooding your pelvis with heat. Within the second you were being tugged along, out of the kitchen and through the hall that led to an intersection of doors; the one straight ahead being the bathroom, the others bedrooms.

You had to grip onto the back of his shirt to keep up with him, despite the fact that your wrist was firmly entrapped by his slim fingers. You entered the middle door and that's what led to your current situation; your ass perched on his friends' bathroom counter with your dress being hiked up around your thighs.

"M-Markie, right now? W-what if they come looking for - ohhhh, for us?" You sputter as the pad of his middle and forefinger rub your clit in circles, his bottom lip caught between his two front teeth. He chuckles darkly, in a way that makes you leak, and suddenly you're far too worked up to think straight anymore.

"Don't Markie me, you really came here in this pretty little dress," he tugs the ensemble up higher, until it's resting around your hips and your naked center is in full view. "with your pussy right underneath, completely bare."

He kisses you sloppily, as if he's as drunk on the adrenaline as you are, but with clear purpose. You grind against his fingers and then he's pulling away, grin lopsided and fever inducing, the way it always is when he's in these moods.

"That's not-" he cuts you off, slowing his circles and your clit throbs in protest.

"What? Not fair?" He scoffs, pulling you closer by the back of your knees, nestling his narrow hips in between your parted thighs while his mouth presses soft kisses to your cheek, down your jaw.

"You know what's really not fair, baby?" Your wetness is loud even as he glides his digits through the silk of your folds, using the lightest of touches to trace the ring of your slit.

"You knew I'd notice, eventually," his tongue flicks across your throat, over to your carotid artery until he's kissing the patch of skin just under your ear. "and you wanted my dick to get hard in front of my friends - fuck - wanted me to have to drag you to the bathroom and rub your little pussy just like this - you were staring at my hands all day, hmm?"

You're already trembling in his hold, and you have to fight back the near irrepressible urge to whimper when he slides those fingers into your sopping heat - your walls sucking him in greedily, contracting around the digits.

"Fuuuck baby, so fucking wet." he groans, curling his fingers when he feels you squeezing around them. You blame it on him- it's hard not to notice the bulge that has formed underneath his shorts, and your neediness grows with each sound that passes his pretty lips.

Of course, this is Mark, though. He feeds off of the fact that you're so fucked out so fast, knows that you'll act completely innocent until he fucks the truth about your mischievous plans out of you - even so, you whine just a bit too loudly when your hole feels sudden emptiness.

"Please, Mark," you're begging already, pouting until he brings the soaked digits to your mouth. Without missing a beat you're parting your lips and suckling your juices off of him, his dick twitching the minute he feels the slick of your tongue.

"Is that what you're gonna call me, while you're trying to get your way?" He cups your cheek, pulling his spit soaked fingers from your mouth before wiping them on the inside of your thigh.

"No, no sir I'm sorry," he smiles proudly, cock leaking and desire saturating his senses as you stare up at him through the thick of your lashes, clinging onto the front of his shirt in an effort to pull him closer than what he already is.

This proves to showcase your real desperation and then he's kissing you again, roughly at first but then he's rhythmic while he takes his time suckling your bottom lip, then your top, and alternating between the two.

You're so distracted by the feel of his tongue against the roof of your mouth, that you don't even realize he's shoved his shorts down, until the bulbous tip of his cock rubs against your swollen clit.

"Fuck me, please Mar-sir? Want you s-so bad." You mewl, gasping when you're suddenly pulled off of the counter by your waist, turned around and met with your disheveled reflection in the bathroom mirror. You bend yourself over with no hesitation, eyes drawn forward and belly tightening with arousal from the sight before you; from the way Mark's entire expression has darkened, gaze low and focused on the glistening between your legs.

"Yeah? Wanna be fucked full of my cum, hmm baby?" He's fucked out, hazy from the ache in the pit of his belly, in his chest. He's gripping the thick shaft of his length, rubbing the plum hued head up an down your slit as if it's his tongue lapping at your pussy instead.

"Mm, yes, yes please stuff me full, sir."

You push back against him and he chuckles at the way you're trembling, though he honestly doesn't think he can last much longer to tease you about it, balls tightening with the urge to release. Plus, how could he say no to you?

It always takes him by surprise, every single time he pushes himself into you. It's a further reminder that you're his, made for him in every way and it makes his desire even headier.

He bottoms out and you're gripping onto the edge of the sink for dear life, eyes holding themselves open just so you can watch Marks soft features contort into that of someone else completely. His dark eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, petal lips parted.

He drags his length out of you and you're the only thing he sees as he thrusts himself back into the warmth of your sex, his hands snug around your hips as a form of leverage for the pace he sets; hard and precise.

Johnny and Jaehyun are long but forgotten now, in fact when you're with Mark, it seems as though everything else disappears completely. That's not an understatement, especially not when he's able to fuck you like this, pretty groans leaving his throat, his manhood buried deep inside of you.

You're a whimpering mess and he doesn't have the heart to tell you to quiet down, you're too beautiful like this and you're - "So fuckin' wet for me baby, shit."

You're completely coating his cock in your milky essence, it's smearing the front of his thighs and dripping down his balls. You feel the warmth of mouth against the side of your cheek and realize he's lent over, arms wrapped fiercely around your middle as he rolls his agile hips into you from behind.

"M-Maaark, mmmph." You feel so full, too full and you're not sure what to do with yourself - bouncing back on his length, the back of your thighs meeting the front of his.

"You like being fucked like this baby?" He uses one arm to reach down in between your thighs where the two of you are connected, rubbing circles over your bud as he did earlier. "You want me to have you leaking between your legs with my cum?"

He's filthy, and each word that is spoken through a growl has your belly filling with an unbearable pressure, body lurching with each sharp, sloppy thrust of his hips.

"Y-Yes Markie, make a mess o-oohhhh, out of me."

You've forgotten about the formalities but he's okay with it, in fact the nickname sounds so pretty coming from you, that it makes the drive to fill you with his seed that much more powerful.

"Gonna - fuck, gonna put a baby in you, mmm," he curls his hips and hits a spot inside of you that has your body involuntarily jerking, legs wobbly. "gonna make sure everyone knows who got you all big and swollen."

Even the thought has you barely holding it together, his possessiveness stirring a whirlwind of emotions within you that seem to be building by the second. He stands uo to his full stature and returns to his previous position in an effort to hold you up, sensing that his mouth has you worked up beyond belief.

"You like that baby? Can feel you squeezing around me."

It's sadistic, really. Your eyes aren't even all the way open, the balloon of pressure in your belly swelling and swelling, spreading licks of fire through your nerve endings, causing you to drip onto the bathroom floor with each drag of his cock from your heat.

"Ple-ease don't s-stop, oh fuck, Mark please." You're not making any sense but he understands perfectly, as he always has and always will. Hes not fairing much better, if he's honest, and so he's truly grateful that you're so close to falling apart as he knows he won't be long either.

"Awe, look at you," his voice isn't steady but it's still strong, teasing in its lilt. "you're gonna cum all over my dick aren't you? That's what you wanted all along, couldn't even wait."

You mewl as a reply and he twitches, the end dangerously close with each stroke. He's never felt someone so soft, so warm and wet for him and only him and now you're panting his name, over and iver again as if it's the only word you've ever known.

"Markmarkmark, oh fuck, I'm c-cumming."

A hand clamps over your mouth while you drown in the liquid heat that pulsates through you in rigorous, violent waves; tears brimming in your eyes and knees practically giving out.

Mark manages to keep you steady, to fuck you through your orgasm while your muffled cries seep into his skin like they're made of medicine; and in reality it's probably only seconds after, with you throbbing around his cock, that he feels his orgasm rip through him as viciously as yours rips through you.

You know the signs enough by now to sense it in his body, and despite the fact that you're still loopy, you manage to pull your eyes open just enough to watch him lose it - his body bowing and chest pressing against your front as he pumps himself into you with sloppy thrusts.

His bottom lip almost bleeds with how hard his teeth dig into it, tremors wracking through him while the warmth of his cum fills you from the inside out, and it has an aftershock of orgasmic pleasure moving through the marrow of your bones.

It's not even a moment later when you feel the softness of his kisses against any expanse of skin he can reach, soft smooch sounds accompanied by the flurry of gentle pecks. You feel like you're floating, despite still not being able to move properly.

"My baby, my darling," he sings against your skin and you giggle at the giddiness that radiates from the doe eyed boy, your Mark. He pulls himself out of you and you try not to whine, but ultimately fail, too used to the feeling of him inside of you. "don't pout, gotta clean you up."

Your eyes are closed and the sound of running water pulls you from your momentary reverie, even more so as you feel the warmth of a cloth against your sensitive center; a flush of heat leaving you dangling in the realization of what you two have just done in Johnny and Jaehyun's bathroom.

"Oh fuck." You attempt to bury your face in your arms but Mark stops you, chuckling as if he hasn't got a care in the world while he adjusts your dress to drape over your hips again, pulling you into his chest.

"Shh, it's okay it's okay. We made the place more...more homey - you know?" He teases with a warm chuckle that threatens to tear any worries from your mind, and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, smiling.

"I swear to fuck if they used even one of my brand new wash cloths I'm never inviting them over again." Jaehyun seethes.

[ibijau]

Fluff December -  prompt list

8. The finale

Lan Xichen watched with mild concern at the elaborate and intricate ritual that was being prepared by Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, the central piece of which was their sofa. There were an absurd amount of cushions, and some throw blankets. At the foot of the sofa there were an array of soft drinks and sodas, as well as a few bottles of alcohol that were to be used for a game of sorts later. Some amount of food was also present, though most snacks arrived moments later when Meng Yao rang at the door, carrying two heavy plastic bags containing mostly chips, candies, and fresh dumplings his mother had made for them, because apparently she was worried they would only eat terrible things otherwise.

“She’s right of course,” Meng Yao admitted. “But I can’t make her understand that the entire point is to eat trash.”

“Speak for yourself, I love your mom’s food,” Nie Huaisang retorted, reaching out for the dumplings, which Meng Yao refused to hand to him.

“We’re keeping that for after,” Meng Yao announced, slithering his way past Nie Huaisang and into the kitchen. “We’re going to need it. This is going to be awful.”

“At least you’ll get to be drunk,” Nie Mingjue dryly pointed out, taking the dumplings and putting them away. “Imagine what it’ll be like for Xichen.”

Meng Yao shivered and threw Lan Xichen a mildly horrified look.

“I don’t know what you’d even inflict this upon yourself,” Meng Yao said, grabbing Nie Huaisang who was making another attempt to seize the dumplings. “I don’t believe you’ve even watched the rest of the series?”

“I haven’t,” Lan Xichen confirmed. “But Huaisang and Mingjue were so excited about this little event that I thought it would be interesting. Huaisang said this ‘Supernatural’ series is the truest depiction of American culture to have ever been put on screen, I believe?”

All three others froze. Nie Huaisang was biting the inside of his lips, already crying from trying not to laugh. Meng Yao opened his mouth a few times, hesitating between confirming or denying that description. As for Nie Mingjue, while he tried to keep serious, the corner of his mouth twitched from the effort of refraining a grin.

“Maybe don’t believe everything Huaisang says,” Nie Mingjue advised. “He’s not above a little poetic licence here and there.”

“It’s a very bad series,” Meng Yao agreed, starting to pull Nie Huaisang to the living room, causing the other two to follow. “Imagining a story that had the potential of being good, but was ruined at every turn because the people in charge just don’t know how to build a narrative, or how to write characters. Really, imagine the worst thing you’ve ever watched in your life, and I promise you that is better than Supernatural.”

“Then why are you having this big party to watch its finale?” Lan Xichen asked, puzzled and a little frightened by that description.

“For the sense of superiority in my own narrative skills,” Meng Yao said.

“Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins,” Nie Huaisang countered, to which Meng Yao reluctantly nodded.

“Because I started watching it with Huaisang as a bonding experience when he was a rebellious teen,” Nie Mingjue said, “and it’s given us something to chat about even when we don’t really have the same interests in life, and it was a nice ritual to get together once a week to watch that shit. Also, yeah, Jensen Ackles.”

That emotional confession prompted Nie Huaisang to jump into his brother’s arms for a hug, which would have been a very sweet and touching moment if he hadn’t then escaped to the kitchen to retrieve Meng Yao’s dumplings.

“I’m going to kill him someday,” Meng Yao grumbled as he went to sit on the sofa and grabbed the remote.

“He’ll kill you first,” Nie Mingjue retorted, sitting next to him. “And he’ll probably get Xichen to take the blame for it. Sorry, Xichen.”

“I’ll try to plead legitimate defence,” Lan Xichen said, sitting at the furthest end of the sofa, so that Nie Huaisang could be next to his brother as well as himself.

“No, you’ll plead insanity,” Nie Huaisang informed them, jumping on the sofa with a plastic container full of fragrant dumplings. “Due to having watched the worst finale a show has ever had in the history of television. And it’s almost time, so let’s watch this disaster unfold!”

Lan Xichen winced, starting to regret agreeing to this and grabbed a dumpling from Nie Huaisang’s lap.

At least, Meng Shi’s cooking really was excellent.

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [2] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, josei, mild angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT) Notes: tbh idk how marriage works in japan, all i know is that once you have both your signatures in the marriage registration certificate with one witness then you guys r married skdjssks anyways onto the story- also might i add this is happy story?? i promise yall, all youll see is cute stuff in this story bcos fuck angst (ok maybe lil angst since you know plot development) but i stand by that nanami kento deserves that trip to malaysia under the sun with his lover! before i forget to add, the age dynamics is that y/n is around 25 and nanami is 38. no power play and all that, just two healthy consenting adults! sorry for the early delete had some minor corrections :( 

Izakaya-informal japanese bar

Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next]  [updates; every friday yay!]

*13 hours earlier; a night before at some random Izakaya in Tokyo*

You sat in front of your phone and three bottles of saki, despite your friends advising you countless of times to lay off drinking too much, all sense and warnings are thrown off the window tonight.

You’re clearly far from sobriety as you recall the video chat with your otosan not looking too good and bright, “Why don’t you move back home? It’s not like the teaching job at tokyo is all that great! You’re alone there and your obachan and I don’t like that a lot…” your father’s words haunt you again and again.

Just what was wrong with living alone? And excuse your otosan but you definitely had a very good job at Tokyo High (It was a prestigious academy that paid well, best job out there that you still didn’t know how you landed). You mumbled a few curses underneath your breath, Oh, how much you love that oaf of a father and worrywart of a grandmother but could they lay off the idea of settling down? You were a responsible and good child who never had stepped a toe out of line. Wasn’t that enough already? You immediately downed the drink and let the saki burn your throat down.

“Oh ho, slow down there.” You hear someone say, “You’re all alone and it seems like you have no one to help you back home.”

It seemed like the men on the opposite side of the bar had noticed you.

“I can take myself home, thank you very much.” You mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. Unlike older men who liked to prey on you for your innocent stature. The men who sat across you in the Izakaya didn’t really exude that sort of energy (what can you say, you had a knack of experiencing that, unfortunately).

“Are you sure? We can ask the owner to call a cab for you. She’s a woman and she’s a friend of ours.” the other one in robes pipes in, wait, was that a Buddhist monk?

“No, I’m good. It’s just…” You paused before letting out a long sigh, “A bad time so I need to stick around for a bit.”

The white-haired stranger tilts his head just a bit, “Seems like you and a friend of mine are both going through some rough patches.” he replied, pointing towards his blonde company who you didn’t notice until now.

You wordlessly shifted your gaze towards the office worker next to the Buddhist monk, you hadn’t noticed the blonde man until now. It seemed like he was going through a rough time too since the pair was loud and boisterous enough to conceal his silent presence.

You notice how out of place he looks with his crisp and clean suit, hard gaze, and silence. It made you wonder what sort of man hangs out with two contrasting personalities, “You’re wondering if he’s our friend or our boss, aren’t ya?” the white-haired man asks.

You immediately turn red in embarrassment, were you that easy to read? You try to stutter out an apology but the monk waves it off, “It’s alright, we get it all the time. Contrary to popular belief, Kento is two years younger than us and is our junior from high school.” He smiles.

“Ah,” you nodded mutely, “Sorry. It definitely wouldn’t make sense to see a boss and his subordinates at an Izakaya.”

“Oh, Kento-chan doesn’t usually go out drinking but he couldn’t resist. After all, he’s a father with two very emotional teenage boys.” The white-haired man teased in a sing-song voice. It seemed like the three were close, with the way they were carelessly lounging around the stoic and kind-of scary man.

“I’m starting to wonder if he gets that teasing attitude from you.” The blonde man, seemingly out of his trance, called out his friend. Contrasting to his aloof features, he didn’t mask the annoyance in his tone.

“Oh, uh, do you need help?” you quietly asked, tilting your head to the side in wonder. The blonde man’s head snapped to your direction and quirked a brow.

“And you are?” he seemed to be calculating and observing you from head to toe. It suddenly made you a bit self-conscious because this older gentleman had no business being this good looking and scary at the same time.

“Oh, I’m Y/N by the way. I’m actually a high school teacher.” You introduced yourself sheepishly, “I’m always surrounded by angsty teenagers.”

His gaze narrowed just a bit, it seemed like he’ll be giving you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was a bit desperate since he was getting advice from a drunk stranger in an Izakaya out of all places, “So what seems to be the problem, Ojisan?”

He’s still quite hesitant so it’s his white haired friend who speaks out for him, “You see, Kento-chan here just moved last week because of a promotion from Kyoto.” he grins, telling the story for his friend, “His kids aren’t very keen with the moving, well one of them is outright showing it and the other one is well keeping it in since he’s just the sweeter one.”

The white-haired stranger keeps babbling on about how his friend had regretted taking the work promotion because it feels like he shouldn’t have done that. You peerlessly observe the older man’s reaction while his friend talks about his problems to you. He remains stoic.

It didn’t look like it but it seemed like this man had such a soft spot for his kids.

How nice, his wife must be proud of him.

“... and before I forget to add, Kento-chan is very much single.”

You almost choke on your saliva, this friend of his sure knew how to run his mouth. It suddenly dawns upon you why this man had been very worried, he was a single parent who only wanted what was best for his boys but he didn’t even know how he should proceed now.

“Um, ojisan?” You quietly call out, “I think you’re doing great.”

Silence lingered in the air for a bit, you cringed at your rather awkward and forward approach, “Excuse me?” the older blonde man asked, clearly dismayed by your response.

“It’s just…” you ears turn red, not from the alcohol but from embarrassment, “You wouldn’t have moved in the first place if the pay wasn’t better than your old job, right? Plus you’re alone and raising two kids. It definitely isn’t easy to provide for everything alone but I can see that you did some careful reevaluation on the whole thing. Obviously you can’t avoid the fact that they feel bad but you can sit them down and talk to them about how the whole thing was beneficial not just for you but for them too.”

You spoke way too quickly that you wondered if the man could understand you.

The blonde man holds his breath for a moment, “I know…” he mumbles, “I just don’t really know how to talk to them.”

“Well, maybe you could take them out?” You advised, “Spend a whole day with them for a while and just move around with them. Help them get acquainted around their new school or something!”

You watch him silently look at his glass and think it over. Man, if this guy wasn’t older, your obaasan would outright agree and tell you to go out with him since she was never fond of how men weren’t as calm or laid back as he was.

“That sounds plausible. Thank you, Y/N-san.” his voice turned a bit softer and you feel your stomach turn just a little queasy by his tone. God, was the alcohol this bad?

“Well, would ya look at that.” the white-haired man grins, placing his drink up as if he was signaling everyone to cheers with him, “I told you drinking at an Izakaya would solve all your problems. For that, we should drink here again next week!”

The man glared at him yet again, “No. I should be heading home now. I can’t be anymore away from S-”

“Ah, ah. You promised that you’d stay until 2 am.” The white-haired man hushed, “Or I’ll be pestering you for a whole month.”

You could definitely tell that a vein popped on his forehead and his blood pressure was shooting up. Man, you were really starting to doubt that white-haired man was older than everyone in this room. He sure had the mental age of an elementary student.

“You also said I could leave after five drinks.”

“That’s only your second.”

“Satoru…” the Buddhist monk dangerously hovers over his white-haired friend. Wow, middle-age men sure were amusing, “You don’t even drink that well and he has to drive home…”

“Tit for tat, I’ll hire one of my personnel to drive you home after five drinks and I’ll leave you alone for a wee-”

“Please just leave me alone for my whole life.” the blonde man deadpanned.

Unlike you, he wasn't such a bad drinker. Four bottles for him and one more drink for you later, you're both kind of woozy and you had gotten on even friendlier terms with the three men who you now know as Geto-ojisan, Gojo-ojisan, and finally, Nanami-ojisan. Nanami was well into his late thirties while Geto and Gojo were in their forties.

If you were sober, you wouldn’t be making friends with older men. With stories of how easily young people are taken advantage of in the big city, you’d swerve away from them. Luckily, it seemed like they were a good trio and not once did they invite you to sit on their table so you had some good distance between you four and so far, they hadn’t tried anything funny or uncomfortable.

Geto is currently a lawyer, Gojo’s apparently some swanky businessman of god knows what        you heard jewelry or something      and Nanami was an accountant. A job that he described was ‘dead-end’ and ‘fucking boring’.

“...What happened to your wife, Nanami-ojisan?” you ask, the alcohol slowly shedding your shyness away.

“I told ya, Y/N-chan. He never was married. The way he got the kids was just complicated!” Gojo Satoru frowns, splaying his long limbs in the air, for a man so enthusiastic with drinking, he sure got drunk pretty quickly.

“Really? Didn’t you have a hard time? Wow…” you whistled, “I have such high…” you raised your hand as high as you could, “...respects for like, single parents!”

“See? See? But he can’t get a partner because of that Y/N-chan.” Gojo pouts, “...We’ve been setting him up on dates and such but he keeps bailing on them!”

“I have kids.” Nanami deadpans, narrowing his eyes.

“What my friends are trying to say, Kento has a number of opportunities to bring a partner into his life but he likes to use the boys and his work as an excuse.” Geto surmised, it seemed like the lawyer was also starting to feel the effects of the alcohol since he had become more talkative.

“He’s good-looking, right Y/N-chan? If he probably didn’t act like some fossil from the Triassic period, he wouldn’t have a problem sometimes about the boys having a mother figure!” Gojo rants, making Nanami flick his forehead.

“Idiot, must you tell this stranger all my problems?” Nanami harshly interjected.

“Well, you do know that to actually get a partner, you must get out there, right ojisan?” you try to calm him down, you didn’t want a bar fight to erupt.

“I know.” he rolls his eyes, “But the kids-”

“I know.” You try to smile, “You aren’t very interested in bringing just anyone in your life, right? The boys need a permanent figure and you think dating around is going to help.”

“Holy shit, Y/N-chan.” Gojo exclaims, “I thought you were a teacher? How come you know all this shit?”

“It’s basic, Gojo-san.” you smile, ready to take another swig of your saki, “You should take into consideration that Nanami-san isn’t just anyone who’d settle for less. He needs stability since he’s technically a parent.”

“That makes you a perfect pair, don’t you think?” Geto nonchalantly replies, “I mean, you need a stable man in your life who has all of it figured out and wouldn’t hold you back at all while Kento here needs a person who could not only be a good parent but also be as understanding.”

“That’s…” you chuckle, he technically was right, “That’s definitely odd how all our problems will be solved if we both just went out together.”

“... looks young enough to be my child.” Nanami rejoined, “why would Y/N-san like-”

“I mean, you’re good looking.” you shrug, rather shamelessly, “I wouldn’t mind going out with you. Heck, I wouldn’t mind if I married you.”

Gojo spits out the saki he was drinking all over the table and that makes you cringe in disgust, “As long as he doesn’t get invited to the wedding. I’d marry you. If you’d like we could even get married right here, right now.” you proudly proclaim.

The blonde man is thrown off by your statement yet he’s too drunk to even sip in the seriousness of your words, “Well as much as I agree on not inviting Gojo to my wedding, I don’t know-” he tries to explain.

“You know what, isn’t Geto-san a lawyer? He could have it notarized and all that right now then we could get married. I’ll be a great mom and help you out then you could help me get my family off my back. You scratch my back, I scratch yours!”

Geto is definitely in shock, how odd was it that he even had a marriage registration certificate in his briefcase back in the car too?

You both could just sign it and Satoru could sign it as your witness and he could have it officially notarized since he had his seal back there too.

Solved.

“So, Nanami-san, what do you say? Wanna marry me?”

Oh god, were you shameless.

Who in the right mind would marry a stranger, one who was thirteen years older and a father?

One thing was for sure, your friends were right. You definitely needed to stay away from alcohol.

taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]

; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil  ; @shephard17895  @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant​ ; @bleepop​ ; ​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ; @katshuya  ; ​

[samuclit]

Love Foolish

miya atsumu x reader

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, mature, a little smut (define little on your own), 7.8K words

Summary: Miya Atsumu didn't realise that he was actually counting the days he spent with you while being your boyfriend. The step-process to how your relationship with him rekindles every time a new day begins was not as apparent as it seems to be, but he sure knew that the dreaded day when it comes to an end will never come.

This is an old piece that I worked on last year...I am terribly sorry for the way I post this fic I am not good with tumblr yall this is harder than my degree 

........................

Day 153

Atsumu was exhausted. He just got back from training with the college team for a few weeks already. He needs to catch up with the college team even though the time he spent away was used for his training with the MSBY Black Jackals team. He was advised by his family members, team coach and his friends that he should not miss out on any practice without a valid reason and should diligently claim his spot on both teams with the most outstanding effort and attitude so he followed, believed that this is for the best in order to build his volleyball career he was always so passionate about since he was in middle school. If only Osamu joins him, he thinks it won’t be as draining as it is right now.

Everyone in college knows Miya Atsumu, he is too perfect. The handsome look, tall and built figure, his diligence in both studies and shaping his career, to top it all off he is charming and is a ladies’ man. He could make every girl fall for him the instant he flashes his smirk that has been scientifically proven to be a bait for everyone in this universe. One small talk he could get girls on his bed, spending the whole night snogging off each other and leaving them whenever he got annoyed with the sudden disturbance. You happen to be one of the girls who got in his bed, goes on several dates with him, but this time you were one of the people who last longer than a week, and then a month and few more months after that. He assumes and waits for you to be the one ending the relationship but it won’t even come, and he is already tired of waiting.

So, he makes you tired. He doesn't want anything to be on his way at all, and you in the equation is making him disturbed at some times. During the first few weeks of dating, you often invite him for a date at the coffee shop which he obliges only for the reason to not break your feelings even though he has some tasks which are more important at hand. You are nice, but he isn’t. He told Suna that you deserve better. 

It has also been roughly two weeks since he last talked to you, and deep in his heart he kind of wants your nagging presence around him, just to distract him from the truckload of stress he’s carrying on his shoulders. So he texted you.

You: [Name], are ya coming or not. Been thinking of binging that Netflix series you’ve been babbling about.

[Name]: Ah sorry, it’s girls’ night with Midori and her gf. 

You: I see. Have fun. 

Seen.

That’s weird. You said it yourself that you wanted to binge on the weekends with him, after he finished with this practice for the week, and also he thinks that’s just you trying to make up with him after your first argument with him. It is...nobody’s fault, he thinks. He doesn’t want to blame himself and you, partially because you were really upset that day that you raised your voice and he didn’t chase you after you ran out of the apartment. It is just a silly argument. He doesn't want to think about it that much. 

As he took a shower and dressed himself in a fresh new pair of t-shirt and black sweatpants, he plopped himself on the sofa and went through Netflix to find something worth watching. He saw the show you wanted to watch ; Pretty Little Liars. Ah it’s not even a Netflix series, it’s just a series which is available on Netflix. Seems like he wasn’t even attentive to what you said. 

Before he falls asleep, he walks down the memory lane, to remember how exactly you and Atsumu could last this long in a relationship.

Day 0

The party seems to be a hit! His seniors on the volleyball team joined hands with the football team to conduct a party to celebrate post-sports festival of Tokyo U that happened for a week long and the party is held at the dorms outside of the campus so the board of education won’t meddle, with the promise that there aren’t drugs involved. Which is okay, the athletes are supposed to stay away from drugs and they’re disciplined enough to consider their life decisions. 

He was simply just hanging around in the living room of the dorm, which is a terrace house in a neighbourhood a few kilometres away, talking to his friends, Suna and Komori, who are his teammates in the college team. Komori used to go to the same Youth Camp with Atsumu so they knew each other since then. “Huh, sick party. I didn’t think there would be too many people here.” Komori said as he chugs down his cold beer, swaying a little after he finishes with a slightly long chug. “Senpai said just the athletes of the college are invited, but it seems like the whole campus crashed together. Lunatics.” Atsumu said as he plopped down on the bean bag and leaned his head back. Suna calls out.

“Oi, Midori is here. I invited her.” Atsumu is familiar with Midori, he has never been close with her but he knows of her since they went to the same high school together. The three pairs of eyes went towards the door together to greet Midori, with you tailing behind her. “Hey, glad ya made it!” Suna lunges forward and grabs Midori in a hug. “Yeah, cool place, I’m sorry I don’t have a plus one to bring with so I just drag my friend along. Hey, this is [Name]. Go say hi and be friends!” Midori pushed the other girl, which he heard to be [Name], also a familiar name. “Oh wait...you guys must have not have known about her...we went to the same school man...” Midori pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. It is sad that not many people know about small girls like [Name] that much. 

Indeed, you went to the same school and you’re in a completely different league than Atsumu, he was and still is the famous athlete that has the entire girls’ population wrapped around his fingers. You’re around the circle of...top scorers who are active in volunteers and some other stuff Atsumu was not into. “Oh, is she another one of your hockey teammates?” you continue hiding behind Midori’s taller frame. Midori pulled you away and hugged your waist, giving support. “Come on now, babe say hi, they’re our friends” you glared at her with a smug look. “Hye, it’s [Name]. I’m not an athlete, I’m a political science major, pleasure to meet ya” your eyes tried to glance from Suna to Komori and to Atsumu but you averted your eyes away from him as soon as it landed on him. You look cute in just a rock concert t-shirt with black jeans shorts and plain converse. Classic party look, but you are not the type to go to parties because...assignments and stress are getting through you  which explains why you’re all fidgety. Midori knows there’s more to that, cause you’re a very wild extrovert at some time.

“Hey, enjoy the party, drinks and snacks are down there, the toilet is on another end, help yerself.” Atsumu pats on your shoulder and moves past you to greet his other friends who crashed the party. You’re petrified, to say the least and moved quick on your heels to head to the bathroom for some reality check. The environment is overwhelming. 

Atsumu gets tired easily even after downing a can of beer but he isn’t exactly drunk. He is just tired with the lots of conversations and the girls from other courses trying to talk to him, wanting the conversation in a bedroom which he said no to, he is a responsible man. He is not going to do it with them when in their drunken stupor. However, his endless denials are stopped with a sudden disturbance right in front of him.

Midori is on a couch, with a girl and was playing with her hair and occasionally rubbing her thigh and before they closed in someone threw a beer cup at Midori. “What the hell? Leave me alone!” Midori turned his body to see a bulked up guy whose name Atsumu doesn’t remember behind the couch, looming over the two figures sitting on the couch. It’s going to get ugly. 

“What the fuck, you leave us alone! Why the hell are homos here. Get out!”  Midori and the poor girl trembles in fear and Atsumu wants to blow a kick so bad but he can’t move because of the girls that are around him. Before he tried to push the girls away, he saw you moving towards him, taking away the beer can he has in his hands. “I’m sorry I’m taking this!” Your eyes had a small fire ignited in it and he can’t help but gave away his beer can, and then he saw you walking up on the couch and on to the head rest, spit into the beer and pours the beer all over the homophobic guy who slandered your friend. The guy was drenched and screamed because the beer was icy cold and it came to contact with his skin that got heated from way too much alcohol consumed. 

“Oh, I am very sorry, I was convinced that this big hunk of muscle is a trash can!” you screamed with an evil laughter and the whole party laughed and cackled at the sight of the giant asshole from Engineering talking shit about the woman adored by the majority of campus. Midori is your best friend, a very kind, beautiful  and valid lesbian friend of yours. You would do anything to protect her from the touch of homophobic devils that would insult her every now and then. It has been happening more recently after she got out of the closet, even when she was inside all this time, you have always given her tons of support and protection because it’s just something about you. Midori was already smiling and got herself up away from the sofa with the girl she was with, hands holding hers tightly. 

“You punk! Are ya crazy? Do ya want me to kill ya like I kill your friend here?” your figure who had one leg propped on the head rest while the other on the couch went tense and is about to fall and the nasty asshole grabbed you by the neck, having you lifted in the air and no one helped to stand against him except Midori who was pulling your body before the guy fully grasped your entire neck in his hands. Before he even pressed harder on your throat, Atsumu landed a punch on his face, making himself knocked down on the floor. You already fell flat on the couch, trying to regain your breath. He warns the guy off and he immediately leaves after. 

“Shit shit, are you okay?” Atsumu kneels on the floor to check up on you, who were lying on the couch, still coughing out and trying to calm down. Midori ran to get some water for you. “I’m fine, fine, where's Midori? Is she okay?” Midori hit you in the arm. “Idiot. I am fine but look at you, I told you I’m alright, if you give them attention and piss them off they will harm you, look what happened.” Midori cries and hugs you. Atsumu checked up on your face, saw tiny drops on the edge of your eye which got wiped away the instant Midori wrapped her arms around you. “I told you  I will always protect you okay, I promised you that” Midori looked at your face again and was still sobbing. She turns towards Atsumu who stood by them. Suna and Komori arrived in the space after making sure the guys had run off. The party went back to normal and it’s chaos again. 

“Thank you, Atsumu, if it weren’t for you, I don’t know what would happen to the both of us.” The girl from before is rubbing her hands on Midori’s back trying to calm her down. “No, [Name] did the most fight, I only come in when it gets physical. I let ya know when I see that guy again I am going to beat the living shit out of him. Nasty jackass.” Atsumu’s rage calms down when he sees you and Midori laugh, finally he makes a safe space for you and her. After some minutes of calming down and talking and giggling Midori takes the cue to leave. “I think I need to go now, need to take some air, you should, too, babe. Love you” Midori hugged and left with the girl she was with the entire time during the party.

Atsumu has long left you and Midori alone when you were busy talking to her, so he goes away somewhere to talk with some of the boys from the football club. They heard something about how that guy is a maniac and has been expressing his hate crimes for several years now, basically a loser and Atsumu thinks his sucker punch is something he could take pride in. After he saw Midori take off with the girl he saw you heading towards the door that linked to the backyard. More people were there, some were laying on the ground doing some unnecessarily lewd stuff that Atsumu does not want to remember.

He saw you taking a seat on one of the stools that was set up for guests to sit. He brought a can of beer, intended to give you. As he approaches you were rubbing around the area on your throat which the bully from before had pressed on. You were still in pain. “Hey, needa drink?” Atsumu hands over the beer while he sits down on the stool next to you. “Ah, I’m sorry I don’t...drink around guys. Trust issues.” Atsumu furrowed his eyebrows and he finally got what you were trying to say. “Oh, I totally get it, I’m sorry.” You were a flustered mess. You didn’t intend to actually...reject a kind offer from him but it’s a strange new place and strange new environment, though you knew Atsumu from high school to be quite a decent person that you– “[Name]? Are ya okay? Ya were about to say something earlier?” “Oh, yeah. You don’t have to apologise, we can just go for drinks some other times'' you let out a small laugh and he smiles. Awkward.

“Ya don’t have to worry about that guy, I heard someone is going to report him to the dean. He’ll be out in no time” you smirked. “Good! Midori must be happy”. The both of you laughed and the  conversation continued randomly, topics about his volleyball activities and you popping in some random thoughts about life to him, it makes him feel weird at first but he picks up after quite some time.

And the night goes with you spending your night with him on his small bed in the apartment he shared with his other friends. Kisses are littered all over your body and Atsumu leads you through your first intimate session with so much ease and gentleness. He left an especially passionate kiss on the neck that tells the stories of your fight and trauma, hoping that he could kiss it away and replace it with the memories of your first. “Are ya really sure about this?” Atsumu asked at one point when you were making out with him on his lap just right after he got you in his room. “Please, do what you want” and Atsumu continues to ravish you and pulls on every article that trapped your beautiful untouched body. 

The morning he woke up, you were sleeping soundly, despite the uncovered chest you had on display cause you fell asleep after the second round of fucking you had no chance to clean up or put on a shirt. The messy hair and arousing look you had on aside, you look too peaceful to be on someone’s bed, someone who you have known for a long time but have only gotten close from an impromptu encounter so Atsumu threw the plans of getting out of bed aside and continues watching the small details on your face. He would pick up the falling strands of your hair and tucks it behind your ear, trailing his fingers on the swollen lips you had after making out with him the entire night. He enjoys your presence. He likes it, being with you, so this is all worth it. 

As your eyes fluttered open, squinting because of the bright sun, which was now covered by Atsumu’s hands to help you get back to sleep without the disturbance. You woke up anyway. “Atsumu, what are ya doing?” you asked, trying to pull the blanket that barely covers your naked front. “Just letting a princess continue her peaceful sleep” you were blushing, it feels like a dream to wake up with Atsumu next to you, so you lean into him more and he tackles you under the sheets. As Atsumu closes in again, about to kiss you like he did the previous night before, your eyes widened and you pushed him away, rolling out of bed naked. You pulled the blanket to cover yourself and scrammed to find your underwear and outfit from last night. “Fuck, fuck I’m late shit I gotta go” you were clasping your bra and putting on your underwear as you continue with your series of cuss words picked up at random. “What’s going on are you okay? Was it–“ you put on your jean shorts and looked at him. “No-no I’m late to a group discussion and I am going to die I think.” You already had your phone in hand with your bag in hand running to the door. Atsumu put on his sweatshirt and training shorts in a haste, offering to give you a ride. 

“Hey, I can help ya get to yer spot with my car. Don’t have ta rush'' you gaped and mumbles thousands of gratefulness and lunges forward to hug but stopped yourself. In the car you were on a phone call with one of the people in your group and you immediately spilled the idea you had in mind in a heartbeat. Atsumu has been driving nowhere so he stops and parked his car at the parking space of the nearby McDonald’s. After several arguments and reasons to have your opinion accepted you finally heaved a relief and ended the call with another apology. 

“Yer quite a persistent one aren’tcha?” you looked at him, face messy, unclean and tired. The post-sex glow seems to not work with everyone. “Yeah, there’s an event and I’m in charge. I was so caught-off guard. Pretty sure they will kick me out if they don’t accept my idea but guess not!” you laughed and smiled gleefully. Pure satisfaction whenever people acknowledge us. Atsumu understood that much. “So...since you don’t have to go...breakfast?” Atsumu points his thumb to the back of the car, which was the entrance to the McDonald’s. “No...I stink so much...but I am hungry so....drive-thru?” Atsumu smiles and puts down the handbrake. “Sure thing, princess”.

After you both got your respective breakfast meal set, Atsumu takes off to the lake and brought you together with him to eat on the benches. Atsumu enjoys the company as much as you did. What starts off with a random conversation of how the duck is limping, to talking about the fluffiness of the poodle someone took for a walk turns into a conversation about each others’ personal lives.

“If anything, virginity is a social construct to put down women, so if you think last night is fun just because of that, I am going to berate your entire existence” you warn him, mouth full with the breakfast muffin. “Sure, what’s fun about last night is that you’re hot and I like you.” Atsumu closes in, trying to make you feel more flustered. “You...like me?” you were blushing and he guessed that his classic method works. “Can say that, I don’t usually have breakfast with people I sleep with, so I think that’s how I know.” You scoffed as his smug smile grew wider. “Oh you’re quite a cheesy one. So, this isn’t just a one time thing?” you looked over to him. He said no and continued kissing you like he meant it. 

Days after that, the dates are frequent, spending the night in his apartment is a routine, watching movies is a norm and the intimate sessions get more interesting for the past few months, he thinks he needs to tell you all about his fantasy and you told him yours and both wishes are fulfilled.

Day 150

Atsumu woke up from the nap, the movie was already finished by then. He reached for his phone which was ringing non-stop. He's going to puke his brains out. Midori was the one calling him. There are around 7 missed calls coming from Midori.

“Oi pisshead, your girlfriend’s drunk. Come and pick her up.” Atsumu looks at the time

10.50

“Didn’t last that long?” Atsumu giggles. Midori snapped. 

“I’m being serious. She gets crazier now you need to pack her up. I can’t because my girlfriend is as shit-faced drunk right now.” Midori starts to call out your name to get off the table. Whatever that happened it must have been really shitty what’s going on down there at the bar.

“Okay, just text me the address I’m on my way” Atsumu took his wallet and car keys with him, all fresh to fetch your drunk ass home. 

As soon as he arrived he stormed to the booth which you and Midori sat at. You were already lying down on the couch, fast asleep and giggling as you sleep. “Okay you’re here. I’m going home with my girlfriend so you take care of her properly.” Midori sat herself at the couch you were sleeping on. “[Name].....I’m going now so take care okay! Love you goodnight!” you were whining so loudly at her. “Nooooo....Midoriiiii-chan I am going to miss you don’t leave me” you were pouting and whining and hug Midori to prevent her from going. Atsumu stood at the side watching the mess unfold. “Your boyfriend is here to pick you up! Goodbye!” Midori dragged her girlfriend away and got out of the bar.

“Midori’s good at lying. There’s no way my boyfriend cares ‘bout me” Atsumu covers his face in shame because the other customers at the bar are looking at you. “Who are ya...are you a stranger? Can I call you Mr Stranger? You look handsome.” You giggled and Atsumu laughed at your cuteness. This is certainly a new side to you, he has never seen you turn into a giant ball of fluff before. “Okay now cmon Miss [Name] let’s get ya home.” Atsumu swooped your legs in his right hand while the other supported the small back of your body. Your eyes are still squinting which must be the reason why you can’t recognise Atsumu yet. 

“I miss my boyfriend Mr Stranger. I want to see him...please take me to see him pleassseeeee.” You buried your face in his chest and held on to the cotton string of his hoodie. “Oh yeah? Is he really that handsome?” he puts you in the passenger seat and buckles your seatbelt. “He is! His hair colour is a bit funny, Midori said it makes it look like he bathed in piss” Atsumu got that too many times already. “But in my very personal point of view, it is kind of biased, he rocks that look. He looks hot!” Atsumu blushed and proceeded to head to the driver’s seat. It’s you and your habit of expressing too many opinions again. He liked this one. He also misses your constants chit chat after a whole month of not talking to each other because of a petty argument. He admits that he misses you so much, but a jerk like him won’t admit it. He’s going to break up with you anyway.

As he continues driving he would listen to what you said about ‘your boyfriend’ and he would sometimes smirks and whispers an ‘I know’ and sometimes it is too loud you caught him in the act. The night drive seems fun with you, and he figures you are still too drunk and even with too much talking your body stays the same. You fell asleep at some point, when he is close to the apartment you resided in. He found out after quite some time that Midori moved into her girlfriend’s apartment so now you live alone. 

Even after he arrives at the apartment complex he lets you take some time to sleep, and as time passes by and it’s getting later into the night, he shakes your shoulder to wake you up. 

“Hey, [Name], we’re here.” Atsumu smiles as you yawn and stretches your limbs.

“Mr Stranger? I have a secret. Can I tell you...I’m afraid to tell anyone.” You said after some time. Atsumu had no idea what to do. So he just played along. “Yeah, I promise I will keep it.” Atsumu laughs and looks at you. 

“I think my boyfriend doesn’t love me. I kind of got the gist of it for a long time...but...now I am convinced. I think...the next time I see him, will be the last time I see him. And I–I don’t wanna” you cried immediately, you were sobbing too hard and you covered your face with the both of your palms. Atsumu is shattered especially, what you said was true. He might break it off when time comes, but seeing your heart broken and giving up the usual happy and chaotic smile and laughter you had because of the thought of breaking up with him, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. So he asked further. He needs to know more, he needs to know why. Why do you catch up to what he was thinking so fast? 

“W-why is it?” Atsumu choked on his breath. His heart was thumping so loudly, and it was beating off the charts. “He seems to not want me around...I tried my best to give him space, time for himself  but....he never wants a time wimme....and then...I-he-he don’t want to see me even when he is free”. You continue crying in the silent car, Atsumu wanted to reach your hands but he knew that would be such an asshole thing to do since he is the one causing this mess. Atsumu got out of the car and opened the door from your seat. “Hey hey let’s get you to your apartment okay?” Atsumu unbuckled the seat belt and you kept on crying, you pulled on his sweater and gripped it so tightly and wailed like a baby into his chest. He sighed and embraced you in a tight hug, calmly rubbing the small of your back trying to calm you down. 

After quite some time only the sniffles could be heard. You start talking again. “You know...I’d rather see him happy even if it means I need to break up with him. Ah I’m so dramatic for no reason. Can you help...carry me to my apartment, Mr Stranger?” you pulled away from his hug, makeup ruined and eyes red. Atsumu smiled and nodded at you. “Of course, I’ll carry you.” He carried you in a manner when he hugs your tiny body to carry you to the bed during one of those nights he needed a release. This closeness to your warm body, and the earlier event that happened of you confessing to a complete stranger about him, he is regretting it. 

Day 125

Atsumu just got home from South Korea. He was there for a training camp with the home team there because one of his coach from the MSBY Black Jackals used his connections with an old friend to conduct a camp for them to further polish the players’ skill in the said sport. It would be a great chance for him to bloom more than how he is after his successful debut as a Div. 1 League player. 

He was simply relaxing around after two days and Osamu was cooking plenty of food for the gang. Osamu invited some friends of his, and Suna brought his girlfriend with him. Komori was there too, with his cousin. When Osamu asked if he was going to invite you, Atsumu shrugged and said no, he wants to relax without you around. Even if you are around you would never go that far to make him uncomfortable. He still hasn’t called you yet even when he landed in Tokyo two days before. 

“Atsumu, didn’t ya miss yer girlfriend? Just tell her to come over.” Osamu said from the kitchen, bringing a pot of stew he made for the gang and putting it on the table. “Nah, she didn’t even know I’m in Tokyo.” Everyone in the living room looks at him. “Miya you’re kinda an asshole for that” Komori said as he passed a bowl to Suna and his girlfriend. “Cmon now don’t look at me like I’m a criminal or sumn...I just want to relax I’ll tell her later.” Atsumu scoffed and leaned his back to the sofa as he was sitting on the carpet.

“Are you...joking. She came by practice the other day, said she can’t reach you.” Sakusa said as he put down his mask aside and dug in. Atsumu knew that. He purposely ignored your text and calls and only left a message when you’re offline or when he knows you were sleeping. He doesn't want distractions. “Yer a prick, [Name]’s really nice and ya can’t see that. If ya got issues just break up already.” Suna speaks and his girlfriend agrees. “Yeah for real, if Rintarou had issues I know he is going to leave my ass in the streets. But I’m glad he has no problems. As a woman I will honestly kick you in the ass, ya know, that woman with woman solidarity.” Suna kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and Atsumu scoffed. “I know, I just don’t know the right time yet.” Komori already mumbles a series of cuss words,  Osamu and Suna sigh and Suna pulls his girlfriend back from kicking Atsumu in the face. Sakusa heard a doorbell and reached for the door now to open.

“[Name]?” Sakusa screams in shock. Speaking of the witch. Well, you’re not a witch, you’re the sweetest person ever that happens to be Atsumu’s unlucky girlfriend. “Hey Sakusa-san! Nice to see you! I brought something!” you waltzed in the door and headed to the kitchen you’re already familiar with. Atsumu felt his guilt eating his insides. Who the fuck called you here? 

Komori puts his phone up so Atsumu can see. Komori smirks at him and Atsumu flashes out the middle finger to him. Sakusa mumbles and points at Atsumu, he said somewhere along the lines of you solve this on your own, Miya! 

Osamu headed to greet you first. “Hey Osamu, I brought some home made dorayaki for you and Atsumu. You guys love it right?” Osamu smiles and thanked you endlessly. You smiled but as you looked at the awkward little Atsumu behind Osamu you stopped smiling. He headed towards you and Osamu knows it’s his cue to leave the both of you in the kitchen.

“Hey, how’s South Korea?” Atsumu sat on the chair of the kitchen island. “Twas good. The food there, they’re amazing.” You hummed. “Glad you enjoyed it. Maybe I would know more if you actually answer my calls and texts about how busy you are and tell me when you arrived. But it seems like you don’t miss me that much.” You sighed. 

“[Name], I’m just...I’m sorry I need time for myself I’m so tired.” You looked at him, sad and gloom covering your whole body like the dark blue cardigan you had around you. “Tired of me or of practice?” you asked and reached for the tips of his fingers. “That’s–that’s not it, okay. Please give me some time.” Atsumu pleaded, you flinched when he suddenly glared at you. 

After some time, you released a deep breath and headed to the door. “Enjoy the dorayaki guys, I hope I don’t interrupt you guys. I’m sorry and please take care of Atsumu for me.” You opened the door and headed out. Atsumu is still in his seat. When the door was slammed he got up and sat himself back on the carpet around his friends. He picks up his chopsticks and pulls the omelette Osamu made. Everyone was staring at him.

“Eat your food and stop staring at me.” Atsumu rolled his eyes and ate more food on the table. “Ya don’t even want to chase her?” Osamu asked from beside him. “Nope.” Komori scoffed. 

“Just want you to know she got here by bus alone. I don’t know if it helped change your mind.” Komori said and drank his cold lemon tea he poured for himself. Atsumu stopped chewing and clenched his jaw, looking at Komori.

“The one who ruined lunch is you, Atsumu.” Suna’s girlfriend said and Suna agreed. So does everyone else. 

You don’t leave a text to Atsumu to the day he picked you up from the bar. He only texted you because he wants to end the relationship.

Day 153

Atsumu still has you in his arms. You’re already asleep, face still drenched with tears. He struggled with the pin to your apartment but picks up after a while of thinking. It is his birthday. 

Atsumu realised he is a bigger asshole than how he was minutes ago in the car as he remembered that he had never come to your apartment. Months of relationship it was always his place as you always preferred his place over yours and he thinks that maybe if he was the one giving in more effort to be the one going all the way to your apartment to spend time with you, he would have felt  better about himself. Normal dates outside are very rare aside from lunch or a quick grab of coffee before classes because he was too busy with his practices and you with your duties as a political science student.

He carried you to what he assumed to be your bedroom, carefully putting your body on the bed, taking off the leather jacket you had with you, slowly dragging the thick comforter to cover your shivering body. After shuffling in the kitchen, looking to find some aspirin and a glass of water for you to gargle right after you woke up he put it on the desk at your bedside. 

He saw a picture of you and Midori on the table, during graduation day. Midori carried you on her back while you threw a peace sign with tongue out and Midori making a disgusted face. He laughs at it, putting it back to where it belongs, carefully. 

You had a lot of other pictures pasted on the wall, the one that faces you when you sit on your study table. The notes and thick books are messily arranged on the shelf, a succulent that says ‘Good Job!’ on the table standing cutely, possibly the one that kept you up during the late night study sessions. He never really checked up on you and your studies, how did you manage to be so strong on your own without a supportive boyfriend, he doesn't know. 

And then he saw the pictures you hung neatly. He took the pictures one by one and saw some notes you scribbled on the back of the photograph. 

First, a picture with your parents. You talked about them at some time because you’re their only daughter and you missed them as much as they missed you. One time when you were making out with Atsumu your parents called and you pushed him away to answer the phone call. So funny how you got so innocent and angel-like just right after doing some lewd stuff with Atsumu just with the voice of your parents on the phone. At the back of the picture, it wrote.

Secured the top-scorer title with a scholarship! Mommy and Daddy are proud of me and I will never stop!

The second picture is of you and Midori at a pride parade. This time you wore a white t-shirt with blue jeans and sneakers and you looked absolutely mesmerizing. 

Pride with Midori. I am so happy for her!!

Some other pictures of you at an animal shelter, old folks home, in the streets, caring for homeless people, women’s march and marathon for cancer awareness. You were basically everywhere and it is what makes him regret not finding out about this side of you. All he does is talk about his talent in volleyball and you always make him feel the best that he never gave a chance for you to talk about yourself. 

Atsumu can’t stop the stretch of his smile and it is making his jaw sore. He is so whipped for you. You have always been such a caring person to him, doing your best to take care of him when game losses make his sour mood make a nasty comeback. 

He would cry in a phone call because he messed up his set and you arrived in his room, dropping your bag to hug him and lull him back to sleep. He cries so hard and you would never make him cry worse than he did, you were always comforting but his pride and selfishness would forget that in a day because he thinks the relationship you had with him is a waste. 

Atsumu is a fool. He didn’t realise how much his confusion hurts you more than it hurts himself. He is such a fool for not being there to protect you. The thought of you crying minutes earlier makes him scream in his heart, he doesn't ever want to see it again. If he made that happen again he will never forgive himself and if he has to build a shrine and be a monk to make sure his sins are forgiven he would do it. He would do anything for you. 

The last picture hid him the hardest.

It was him, and you, during his debut game as MSBY Black Jackals setter. 

You had your body leaned into his arm, smiling wide with a bouquet of flowers for him in your hand. He was staring at the camera with a lazy smirk, hands encircling your waist. It was sweet, and you look very cute standing next to him, in his embrace like that. A sight so beautiful. It is a shame when he remembers what exactly happened that night.

It was a very joyful day for Atsumu and for you but Atsumu didn’t even tell you about the match, you were only informed of the game because of Komori so the ticket you got is because Osamu gave up his ticket for you. He is tired of seeing Atsumu play volleyball and he can see it on his phone if he wants so he just gave it to you, saying you deserve it better. Even when you’re not informed about the game, you still showed up in the cutest little dress with the cutest little smell and the cutest bouquet of baby breath flowers for him. 

Atsumu is not fond of flowers. He is not fond of surprises either. When you showed up on the court, congratulating him, he was shocked. He was busy talking to fangirls and kids who love volleyball until you call out his name with so much pride. 

“Atsumu aaaa I am so proud of you! You worked so hard for this and I am sorry I don’t know of this sooner.” You hugged him and pat his back when you hugged him. Eyes glistening as you pulled away. Said the cries are happy tears. You told one of the passers-by to take a picture of you and Atsumu, resulting in the small piece of photography in his hand.

Later that night he went with his team and celebrated the debut together with them while you took off to your apartment, barely making it to the last bus of the night to get there safely, wishing you were with Atsumu in his car instead.

He turned the picture over. There is a long note there.

Might be the first ever picture with Atsumu, like ever. Nonetheless I am so happy and so proud of him it made my jaw hurt so much as I write this. I can’t stop smiling!!! I hope I can attend more of his games, more to his success, more time with him. I feel like I am the happiest person alive! I feel like one of the fantasy film protagonists where the person they have loved for a long time is within their arms, finally! I am so happy to have known Atsumu since the beginning days of school, how his charming and cunning personality, inspiring and charismatic figure would walk down the hallways of Inarizaki, I will always fall for him over and over again. I love him so much, and even if it takes a thousand years to wait for him I will always wait. Praying that this essay reaches the Gods because I love him too much, I don’t even want to let him go. I love Miya Atsumu, and I hope he feels the same thing too.

Atsumu pasted the picture back on the wall, turning off the study lamp and closing the door as he walked out. He sat on the couch in the living room, only having the kitchen light to illuminate the entire apartment. As he sat there, tears rolled off his eyes and loud sobs spilled out of his mouth. 

He realised he is such a foolish man, living in a complete lie with an angel from heaven taking care of him despite getting paid dust in return. He cried so hard he took the pillow next to him and cried himself to sleep. 

Day 154

If it is not for the bubbling and disturbing feeling in your stomach, you wouldn’t have gotten up and run to the bathroom to puke your guts out, but here you are. Smelling so stinky you just take a shower along the way. Fresh out of the shower in clean new clothes you saw a tall glass of water with your birth control pills right beside it. After downing the glass of water you headed to the kitchen to grab an aspirin to calm down the throbbing pain of your chest.

What you found instead is the sight of Atsumu, wearing an apron on top of his white t-shirt. It has been way too long since you have last seen him, and you didn’t expect to encounter him in your apartment, let alone him in the kitchen, preparing a breakfast for two. “Atsumu! What are you doing here!” you screamed audibly to him and got to the table to see a tray of rice and a bowl of soup on the table. 

“Ah, ya woke up earlier than I thought ya would, was intending to make breakfast on bed like in that one cheesy film you love so much.” You blushed. You headed to the cupboard and popped the aspirin into your mouth with the assistance of the barley tea Atsumu prepared for you. 

As you sat down awkwardly, he pulled out the rice bowl and put the tray in the sink and scooped another bowl of rice and soup for himself. He prepared a hearty meal for two, a miso soup to help you sober down and ease the gut after rounds of alcohol shots dumped in your body. 

Right, you were drunk last night. “So why are you here?” you asked after spooning out the final drop of the miso soup. “You remember nothing at all?” Atsumu asked. “Wait...so...Midori didn’t lie?” you asked again. Just realising that Midori already told you that your boyfriend was there. 

“Oh my god...how much did I say?” you pressed your palms on your face and dropped them to your lap. Atsumu smiles. 

“You said a lot! You said too much that it made me learn a lot.” Atsumu reaches your hands the moment it gets on to the table. He clasped it with care and so much gentleness even when his hand is calloused and rough from the intense training for so many days in a week. 

Atsumu sighs and hangs his head low. “I just realised that all this time, our relationship is one-sided” you gasped and the grip on his hands gets tighter. “I...took you for granted. I never gave you a comfort space to live in, a shoulder to cry on, and I have never...expressed my feelings for you.” You were trembling and Atsumu fully connected your fingers with his, interlacing it together hoping that neither of you will let it go.

“All this time you were always there for me, no matter what I was struggling with, no matter the time and place you would rush and hug me and tell me that it will be okay but I let you cry on your own whenever you deal with the same problem. I made a big mistake, and I swear to my life that I will make it up to you.” You got up from your seat and went to the sink along with your empty bowls. Atsumu got there too, hugging you from behind. 

“I am so sorry for being late, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts when I see you get hurt because of me.” Atsumu hugged you like he would make you dissolve in his body, it was so tight and warm and comforting it felt like home.

Miya Atsumu is your home. You are his home. And so he kisses your hair, your neck, your shoulders to make sure you won’t disappear before him, to tell you that what he said is true. 

You turned around. Holding his head in your hands.

“Atsumu, I love you too, and I missed you so much.” You smiled as the tears dropped, and Atsumu thinks this sight of yours hurts him as much as it makes his heart feel warm. It was a mixed feeling, but he knows that the perfect moment is right there, he holds your waist and your neck and kisses you on the lips with so much need and passion, to tell you that he loves you.

Your hands went to wrap itself on his neck, occasionally stopping by to run your hair through the blonde locks you love so much. He kisses in deeper and languid motion; it makes your head drowsy, worse than what the alcohol did to you but the sensation is nice. The alcohol was bitter and you hated it, this kiss tastes sweet and flavourful and you love it.

Atsumu continues while he carries you towards the bedroom he left you in alone last night, slowly putting your body on the messy bed who still has the scent of you from last night. It is supposed to gross you out but Atsumu is making it harder for you to breathe so nothing really matters, and Atsumu loves the scent as much as you love his oozing warmth that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.

He continues peppering kisses along your entire body, just like the night when you first spent together. Shirts off, pants off, underwear off. There’s nothing in the way of the both of you in the intense love-making session. Atsumu loves the way his name rolls on your tongue as he nibbles addictively on your neck, your chest and your tummy that is filled with the food he made for you, the love he had in store from his heart is delivered into you with so much ease. He plans to deliver some more as his kisses turn more passionate as the clock ticks, tongue intermingles and liquid drooling out of each other’s hot mouth.

Atsumu is already so eager to get inside you but he always has to prioritise you before him so he asked you. “Can I-can I get on with it now?” he asked, trying to recollect his breath at the same time while he looks for a particular wrapper in the drawer of your bedside table. “It’s fine, Atsumu, I’m on birth control.” You smiled at him and he smiled back, caressing your cheeks, touching your lips and tucking your hair behind your cute ears he loved to kiss so much. “You know, you mistook the birth control pills for aspirin that’s why I rummaged through the whole cupboard to look for one.” You gave him a glare so cute he continues kissing you. “My bad, baby. Can I get in now?” He asked with a teasing little smirk displayed on his stupidly handsome face.

“Yes, you can Atsumu.” You kissed him on the cheeks and hugged his neck as he entered. Inches by inches you sucked him in and he would kiss your temple to make you feel better after the stretch. The time away clearly made a lot of changes between the two of you, and it all makes this event more admirable than the ones before, because of the heartfelt confession you shared with him in the morning. All he wants to do is kiss your body like it is the only thing in this world worth worshipping. You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened in his life anyway, and he would never regret anything in his life anymore.

After the both of you peaked, he released into you, stayed there for a few minutes and took it out after he finally made your deep furrowed eyebrows disappear. You finally relax after the soothing time with your dearest one and he plopped himself next to you. 

Atsumu opened his arms and you found him inside it, getting smooches here and there as he hugged you. He would play with your hair, draw stars on the naked back of yours, and you would draw circles on his chest as you listen to the small heart beat in him. 

His heart was beating because of you.

“Hey, that noise in there is because of ya.” Atsumu kissed you on the forehead. 

“Oh really, yer not special, Miya, listen to mine!” you said with a glare after hitting him playfully on his chest.

“Uhuh...can I kiss it? Like this?” Atsumu continues his attack on your chest and you laughed loudly as he starts skimming his fingers on your waist and your tummy. He was smiling and laughing into the attack. 

Atsumu thinks that even if it is true that he is a fool, at least he is a fool that is so foolishly in love with you. 

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 14: Husband

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“Yeah, you should stay here. We have a wedding to plan tomorrow after all.”

“What?” You say in shock, following after Kita who already is in the house.

The house is exactly the same way when you left. The furniture are still where it used to be. Only difference is that, you aren’t around anymore. Your things aren’t there anymore. Everything in the house is only Kita’s things. The house has developed a widower’s feel while you were gone.

Passing by your room, the feeling of familiarity hits you. You stop yourself from crying, not wanting to cause any more trouble to Kita who you woke up at ungodly hour. As you reach the kitchen, the smell of alcohol reaches your nose. ‘Has he been drinking?’

“I can sleep in my old room...” You tell Kita, stopping in your tracks. Rice is already on the couch, sleeping comfortably on his old spot.

“There’s no more bed there now, you know. Did you forget that you made Osamu take all your things?” Kita reminds you as he eyes you while he continues to walk to his room. Not able to form an answer, you follow him.

Kita takes out a shirt and boxer shorts out of his cabinet and gives it you before he flops back down in his bed. You go to his bathroom and change into his clothes. It’s your first time wearing his clothing and the experience makes you forget everything you’ve been through for the past year. You’re going through that ‘i-am-a-grown-woman-but-i-feel-like-teenage-girl’ phase all over again and because of the same person.

After washing your face, you go back to his room. "Is he drunk?” You wonder as you stare at his sleeping figure. The urge to touch him is taking over you so you let it. Your fingers run through his grey hair, then to his shoulder. They stop on his chest to feel his heart beat. “I miss you...”

Shutting your eyes, you feel your heart ache and ease at the same time. You don’t know if Kita was bluffing or if he was serious about what he said, but you were. You meant every word that you said even if it was just a ramble. You were willing to marry him anytime of the day.

Morning comes and Kita wakes up first, his chest feeling heavy. He looks down and sees your head on his chest, your arm draped over his hips. His eyes squint in confusion. “That wasn’t a dream?” Kita puts the back of his hand on your forehead, making sure you are real and not a hallucination. “You’re really back...” A tear escapes his eye as he caresses your hair.

Kita moves to lay down on his side, letting your head settle on his arm. His eyes travel all over your body, taking all your features in. He silently starts crying, thanking all the stars he wished on, and every god he prayed to. He can’t believe you actually came back.

For a year, Kita tried to get a hold of you but you blocked his number. He even went to Tokyo to explain to you but he didn’t know where to find you. He never gave up on you, thus him being single again for another year. He never felt any interest towards anyone. He lived in chastity to prove to you that he really wanted you back and he was sorry.

The exact opposite of what you were doing. But he won’t be affected if he finds out, right?

Not wanting you to see him cry, he tries to leave the bed, but you hold onto him tightly. “I have to make breakfast,” he reasons, but you just press your face close to his chest.

“You can eat me for breakfast,” you joke, eyes still closed. You feel Kita stiffen from your words before he slowly pinches your arm. You jokingly wince before letting out a chuckle. “Five more minutes of cuddling then I’ll let you cook breakfast.”

“Okay...” Kita kisses your forehead, wrapping his arms around your torso. The two of you stay like that in silence, the quiet you’ve been wanting for a long time. It’s safe to say that Kita is your rest, your charging station, and your battery has been drained. You haven’t seen him for one painful year after all.

“Did you mean what you said last night?” You ask Kita, but he doesn’t answer you so you assume that he was really drunk last night. “Never mind...”

“If you’re asking about the wedding, I’m still thinking of how to propose to you,” Kita confesses, causing you to grin. You sit up, your face hovering over his.

Kita takes in your appearance and notices how you look more mature because of your haircut. Aside from your now shorter locks, he realizes that the way you speak is different from before. You have a much softer and calmer way of talking now.

“But I already proposed to you last night,” you tell him, causing him to cock an eyebrow at you. “So let’s just talk about the wedding or something.”

“Why are you so eager to get married?” Kita asks you seriously so you pout in disappointment. You were so excited from his words last night that you even dreamt about your wedding.

“I just don’t want to lose you again,” you answer, lying back on the bed. Kita moves closer to your body, snuggling his face to your chest.

“We will never lose each other ever again. I promise you that.” Kita kisses you before placing his head back on your bust. Your fingers find their way to his hair, running through his grey locks. “But there are things I want to do before getting married because I might never get to do it...”

“Like what?”

“Take risks and enjoy my youth,” Kita responds. “I don’t regret doing everything by the rules, but sometimes I think about how I should have enjoyed at the same time.”

“Isn’t that regretting?” You chuckle, ruffling his hair.

“Is it?” Kita sits up, smiling at you.

You nod. “You know, even if we’re married, we can still do the things you want to do.”

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You are so wrong. 4 months have passed, and Kita and you haven’t spent much time ever you since you started preparing for your wedding. It’s mostly Kita who processes the papers and such, since you are always busy from work. You constantly had to travel from Tokyo to Osaka because of your job. The two of you decided to postpone the wedding ceremony, but still get married in papers.

“Babe, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, but maybe we should try renovating the house?” You suggest as the two of you eat dinner.

“Sure. I don’t mind,” Kita agrees to your request.

Kita always does. He says yes to everything you want to do. Sometimes you ask him about his opinions, but he just agrees with you. He puts your feelings first before his, that there are times you feel bad about it. You’ve talked to him about it and he said that his grandmother had once told him that if he was to marry he should live by these words.

“What’s hers is hers, and what’s yours is hers.”

Kita doesn’t only apply those words in belongings, but also words. He puts you first no matter what. Basically, Kita worships you. It isn’t obsessive as most will think.

What’s stressing you is that, everyone advised you that “marriage is full of ups and downs.” But your marriage with Kita is a straight unbending 180° line. The two of you even haven’t had sex, much to your disappointment. You don’t know if it’s your busy schedule or Kita’s platonic personality that is causing this linear marriage.

“I plan to add more rooms and maybe a second floor? In case we have children,” You say your idea, taking Kita aback from the word children. He chokes on his food, so you tilt your head to the side in worry. “Do you not want children?”

Kita clears his throat before answering you. “I do. But do you?”

“I wouldn’t bring up the topic of children if I don’t,” you reply proudly and he just shakes his head. “What?”

“(Y/N), you cry when I don’t give you attention for 5 minutes. If we have a kid, I will have divided attention. Are you sure?” Kita tells you, so you start thinking about it.

“When have I cried when you didn’t give me attention?” You ask, not believing his words.

Kita deadpans at you. “Last night.”

“But I still want to have children with you!” You whine and Kita shakes his head once again. “Like my Pinterest feed is full of babies. I’m ready to be a mom!”

“I think it’s too early to think and talk about children.”

“It’s not. Please! I want a baby!”

“That’s only a baby fever. We can have one when you’re actually ready to have one.”

“But-”

“I said what I said. Let’s drop the subject,” Kita says sternly so you just pout and obey him. It’s his first time saying no to your words and you feel so hurt. You have gotten used to him babying you that you forgot how scary he could be. Hurt is an understatement of what to feel at the moment. It sounded like he doubted your readiness as a mother. How does he know about your own capabilities?

The dinner continues awkwardly, Rice staring at the two of you from the corner, probably wondering why you two are quiet. Your phone starts ringing so you check who it is and see Kise’s name shining brightly. You gulp, glancing at Kita who is staring at you with eyes asking who’s calling you.

“Kise!” You fake a chuckle, moving to your room. Kita eyes you suspiciously, wondering why you had to go inside the room just to talk to someone. “Why did you call?”

“I had a flight going to Osaka, and then I remembered you’re near Osaka, right? Wanna go out and have some drinks?”  Kise asks. Not having the heart to say no to the pure soul, you say yes. You change into semi casual clothes and then head out of your room.

“Where are you going?” Kita questions, surprised to see you all dressed up.

“A friend from Tokyo invited me to drink. Do you wanna go with us?” You smile at him awkwardly, forgetting that he’s around. You even forgot that you were in the middle of dinner.

“I’ll stay at home,” Kita replies, putting his chopsticks down.

“Can you drive me to our meeting place?” You request and he nods. He takes the car key from the drawer and heads out before you, Rice following behind him.

Kita opens the door for Rice, letting him sit at the backseat. Then, he opens the door for you, hand on the upper doorway so you don’t bump your head. He puts your seatbelt on for you as well, before giving you a soft kiss on top of your head. It’s the little things that make you fall in love with him over and over again.

In the middle of the drive, Kita speaks up. “I’m sorry for being rude to you a while ago. I know you wanted to talk more about it.”

“It’s fine...” you lower your head, not wanting Kita to see the sad look on your face.

“I’m just worried that you won’t get to enjoy like this if you become a mother. You won’t be able to meet your friends often, you wouldn’t be able to travel as much as now. It’ll be hard for you to give all of these just for motherhood. Let’s enjoy ourselves first, then maybe in the future, we can have an addition to our little family,” Kita explains his side to you, his soft voice soothing the pain you felt. He takes your hand and places a kiss on the back of it, his eyes on the road.

“I love you,” is all you can say, because he’s right. You aren’t ready to give up the life you’re living right now.

“I love you more,” Kita replies, intertwining his fingers with yours.

The rest of ride is silent, since Rice is also asleep at the backseat. You arrive in front of the pub which Kise gave you the address of. “Rice and I will go visit Osamu. Just call me when you want to be picked up.”

“Yes, babe. Thank you,” you thank Kita, giving him a peck on his lips. “You’re the best.”

“Have fun.” Kita gives you a proper kiss before he lets you get out of the car. As he sees you safely enter the pub, he drives off to Osamu’s place. Arriving at his house, he notices his former teammate’s cars parked outside. “They’re all really here.”

Kita and Rice get out of the car, then head up to Osamu’s apartment. He presses the door bell and a few seconds later, Atsumu opens the door. “Oh! Kita’s here! Mr. Married is here!” The blonde shouts and the people inside the house cheers. Rice runs inside the house, greeting familiar people with a lick on their faces.

“I thought you couldn’t come, Shinsuke?” Aran asks the former captain. Kita sits beside him on the couch, Rice jumping to sit on his lap.

“(Y/N) went out with a friend so I was able to come here,” Kita explains.

The truth is, the Inarizaki Volleyball Club is holding a reunion. Kita, as the captain, is of course invited. But the day before, he said he couldn’t come because he didn’t want to leave you alone in your house. He also couldn’t bring you along since Atsumu whined about not bringing partners because he doesn’t have one. So he rejected the invitation, but here he is.

“Want a drink?” Omimi asks Kita and the latter shakes his head.

“No. I got to drive,” Kita reasons, petting Rice to sleep.

Two hours later, Kita receives a call from you, so he assumes that you wanted to be picked up. “I have to go. (Y/N)’s calling.”

“Simp,” Atsumu teases him so Kita flicks his forehead before heading out of Osamu’s place and driving to the pub where he dropped you off.

Kita calls you, not seeing you wait for him outside. He has told you a lot of times not to make him wait if you asked to be picked up. “Where are you? I’m already outside.”

“Babe, I called you a while ago because my friend offered to drive me home. He ordered more drinks and food so...” You reply and Kita immediately feels angry from hearing that you’re drinking with a guy, and just the two of you. How the hell is this guy friend of yours supposed to drive you home when you’re both under the influence of alcohol?

“No. Let’s go home. Right now.” Kita says in a demanding voice and he hears you groan from the other line. A couple of minutes later, he sees you walk out of the pub with Kise. Being the friendly and flirty guy he is, Kise does a quick cheek to cheek with you before letting you leave him. It fuels Kita’s irritation even more.

Kita is a jealous man, he admits that and he won’t even hide it.

“Who was that?” Kita asks as soon as you enter the car.

“I told you. A friend from Tokyo,” you answered, annoyance lingering from your tone.

Kita drives back to your house really fast. The ride back home actually scared you a little bit, since Kita wasn’t paying attention to the road signs and stoplights. He is as angry as you are.

As you enter the house, Kita slams the door close, startling you. “I’m gonna ask you again. Who was that?” You roll your eyes and ignore him, annoying Kita even more. “(Y/N), you’re a married woman. You shouldn’t drink like that alone with other guys.”

“And why is that?” You cock an eyebrow at him and he sighs heavily.

“It’s because I feel uncomfortable,” Kita answers you straightforwardly, his response making you scoff.

“You feel uncomfortable because I was with a friend? Is this because of jealousy?” You snap, testing the waters. Kita bites his lower lip, controlling his anger. “You know, just because we’re married, it doesn’t mean that you get to control my life.”

Your words hit Kita like a train traveling at a high speed. While he dedicates his whole life to you, and then there you are, acting as if marriage is just dating. He feels so stupid doing everything for you, and you’re not even giving half the effort.

Ever since you got married, Kita does everything to make life easier for you. He cooks you breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day. He doesn’t put up a fight with you because he knows how much stress you get from work. He cancels plans with friends just so he could spend time with you since you barely had free time. He doesn’t even ask for attention from even if he’s dying to take you out on a date, because he knows you prioritize your work instead of him. You wouldn’t even free your schedule for you wedding ceremony.

Of course you don’t notice Kita’s pent up frustration because you think that’s just who he is. But no, he tries so hard to be the best husband to you but you’re not even trying to be a wife to him.

But today is when his patience runs thin. First, you leave him to eat alone in the middle of dinner. Second, you suddenly say you’re leaving and drinking out with a friend. Third, you allow this friend to be touchy and too friendly with you.

“You know what, (Y/N), I don’t think this is jealousy anymore. As a husband, I feel so disrespected, but I don’t think you know that because you don’t see me as one.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Facts:

When asked what marriage means to them, Japanese university students tend to use words like “respect, acceptance” and “caring, help and being there” while American university students tended to use words like “important, essential” and “unconditional."

Ordinary Japanese rarely had their marriages formalized or had any kind of wedding or ceremony. Traditionally, once a man began regularly visiting a woman the were considered married. Later when the man's mother considered herself no longer able to do her household chores by herself she asked her son's "wife" to move in. This occasion was often accompanied by a small party to introduce her to the neighbors.

The Democratic Party of Japan government elected in August 2009 wanted to introduce legislation that allowed married couples to use separate surnames.

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[kim-miyeon]

Hell Above-Chapter Two

PAIRINGS: Hwang Hyunjin X Female Reader

WARNINGS: Mafia!AU, strong explicit language, family problems, pregnancy,  mentions of birth control, angst, mentions of murder, alcohol, cigarettes,  18+

WORD COUNT: 4.1K

Previous | Next

I Know You’re Tortured Within, Your Eyes Look Hungry Again.

You pushed your hand into the door of the rundown bar, emitting light into its darkness from the outside. The smell of liquor and smoke from lit cigarettes stung your nose as your eyes gazed at the immediate sight of drunks who never made it out from the night before.  Your sight was darkened more due to the gold rimmed sunglasses that held on the bridge of your nose, as your eyes rummaged through the area until they spotted the far table with your cousins sitting. Strutting towards the table, the sound of your heels gaining attention from the lowlife bodies of men surrounding the bar. You rolled your eyes as you passed by and finally reached the table where Seungmin, Minho, Felix and Jeongin all sat.  All four boys stood from their seats to formally greet you as you nodded softly and grabbed the empty chair in front of you to take your seat. As they followed, you brought your arm in front of you , bending it to get a close view of the rose gold watch that rested on your wrist. The time changed to 9:00 AM and you smiled softly looking up at the boys you were waiting for you.  You licked your lips and reached to remove the glasses off your face before folding them and setting it on the table. You leaned back and crossed your arms firmly. 

“I know it's a Saturday morning and we would all rather be anywhere else but here, so lets make it brief.” You advised as you snapped your head to Felix, “What do you have?” 

“Body was disposed of at the location, like you wanted. Police arrived this morning to investigate but the public won’t receive any more information that just another murder in the streets.” Felix informed as he handed you a photo of the crime scene. You extended your hand and grabbed the sheet to look and saw the remnants of ash in a pile by the train tracks. Burned. A form of execution that you found liberating. A way to mark your territory and erase any evidence. All that could remain was the teeth of the victim, but you knew better than to allow such evidence to be kept at the scene of the crime, even when you owned the police. Scanning the photo more, you managed to look at a train cart that stood in the background and to your delight, was a perfect stroke of the letter ‘L’. 

“L for Lee.” You cocked your eyebrow up and looked at Felix who smiled.

“Written in our color, using real material,” Felix emphasized and you nodded pleasantly. 

Blood Red. It was the long standing color of the Lee Family. One that bonded the family together and also was a message to anyone who would know. But to use the blood of the victim as a marking of a murder was the way the Lee’s had practiced their executions for generations, and with the silence of the family, you had managed to make sure that it was incorporated in subtle ways. It helped to know that your money paid the detectives who otherwise would pass along information to other gang leaders, people who could out the Lee Family. Each case of a murder had its own form of marking, this one being the first to truly state something bold. 

“It’s definitely a message for Y.” You handed the picture back to Felix.

“Someone who also had a message for us,” You turned your gaze to Seungmin who spoke up, “He knew you’d kill that man and bring the body there.”

“I can’t say that I’m shocked to hear that,” You smirked “What riddle did he send this time?”

Seungmin handed you a manila envelope and you took it. Opening it to feel a thick piece of paper, you let your fingers pull it out. Your eyes scanned the sheet that was filled with large dots and dashes. The way it looked could cause anyone a headache. It was so much on one page, you hated the way it looked. 

“Morse code?” You looked at Seungmin, in disbelief. “He wants us to decode a morse code message? What the fuck is this guy on?”

“That’s what I’m saying.” Felix chimed in annoyed and you shook your head. 

“How long do you think it will take you to solve it?” You questioned Seungmin as he  took the page back and analyzed it, sucking in air between his teeth. 

“A few hours maybe, definitely by the end of the day. I have other things to work on too. ” He stated and you nodded your head in confirmation. 

“Do that then,” You finally looked over to Minho who had been quiet the whole time and completely unengaged. You watched as he sat back and tapped his fingers against the table and you grew annoyed. He was always like this, so cold. Distant and bluntly just mean. You could tell that he wanted to say something but was holding back, probably trying to prevent another screaming match. You both had been head to head for years and even though you did love him, he managed to make your blood boil just by the way he looked. You sighed loudly.

“Something eating you, Minho?” You asked and he stopped tapping his fingers on the table and slowly looked up at you. You continued, “You look aggravated.”

“I’m fine.” He muttered softly.

“Did you take care of the associates like I asked?”

He scoffed, “You think I can just commit a mass murder of 100+ men overnight without raising the ears of our enemies?”

You tilted your head in an innocent way, “I don’t know,” You paused, “ I assume that you have it under control, am I right?”

“I do have it under control,” He growled. 

“Well, with each second that passes, more of those fuckers keep talking.” You clicked your tongue and Minho looked at you darkly. 

“With each second that passes, one of those leaders are gonna see that message and begin planning.” Minho spat.

“Ohhh, so that’s why you're upset. You don’t like our little message?” You grabbed the photo of the crime scene and looked at it again in amusement. “I think it’s a lovely message to Y.”

“IT’S AN IRRESPONSIBLE MESSAGE,” Minho slammed his hands on the table and yelled at you as you looked up at him coolly. “Y is not the only one after us, Y/N. There are others, like your beloved little husband.

You clenched your jaw tightly at the mention of Hyunjin. Minho shook his head in aggravation. 

“What is even taking you so long Y/N? The longer he stays alive the longer we all have to keep this shit secretive. What are you waiting for?” Minho snapped and then took a quick pause glaring his eyes at you, “Are you not strong enough to pull the trigger? Is that it? Does your little Hyunjin dick you down so well that you can’t find another fuck buddy, huh?”

You slammed the table and stood up angrily. All the boys held in their breath and you took a slow inhale as you tried to bring yourself to a place of peace. You exhaled audibly and you opened your eyes to look back at the table and then directly to Minho. 

“Okay. Everyone listen to me.” You waited for each boy to look at you before you began. “I respect and love each one of you. We are family first and our blood bonds us and makes us strong. You have stood by my side all these years and I am thankful for that.” 

You saw Felix flash an innocent smile and Jeongin nodding his head in agreement to your words. Minho deterred his gaze from you and Seungmin bit his lip preparing for your next words. 

“However, none of you are Won Shik’s child, I am. And my father died and left me with this organization, with my mission. I am the rightful leader of the Lee Family and this is a business and you all work for me. It is not the other way around.” You looked to Minho aggressively. “Hwang Hyunjin will stay alive for as long as I want him to. And if any of you have a problem with that,” You halted and  looked around the table at the boys who were in slight fear of your indirect threats. “I suggest you keep that shit to yourself.” 

You sat back down and watched Minho stand and walk away from the table. You rolled your eyes and Seungmin called out for Minho as you rested your hand on his, shaking your head for him to just let Minho go. You turned your gaze to Jeongin and Felix.

“Speaking about my husband, how was his trip?” 

“Well, you’d be happy to know that he is about to finalize a million dollar contract.” Felix laughed a bit.

“A million dollars I’ll never see.” You leaned back into your chair.

“Still not as much as you thought” Jeongin cutely stated and you snickered,

“Money I can’t even flaunt,” You stated as you gathered yourself, “But I can use it for groceries. I gotta go and pick up some stuff so I will take my leave.” 

“Can I come with you?” Jeongin asked and you smiled.

“Always little one” You patted his head and he smiled back. You looked to Seungmin and Felix who all stood up, “Morse code by tonight?”

“Promise.” Seungmin stated and you smiled. 

“See you all later.” You turned to walk with Jeongin by your side. 

As you walked out of the bar and towards your car, you opened the door and sat in. Jeongin sat next to you and you groaned out.

“He is SO entitled. Why is he such a fucking asshole?” You ranted, more to yourself but loud enough that Jeongin heard.

“He cares alot about you.” Jeongin reassured and you looked at him. “Minho just has a strange way of showing it.”

“He doesn’t care about me. He only cares about himself.” You huffed, “What about the family?”

“Safe. In police protection, set to deport the country.” 

You closed your eyes in relief and then took Jeongin’s hand in comfort. “Thank you Jeongin. I am so sorry that I keep asking you-”

“No Y/N. Don’t apologize.” 

“Jeongin I’m serious. It’s not right of me to keep putting you in those situations, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” Jeongin took a hold of your shoulders and made sure you looked at him.

“Nothing is going to happen to me. I will always do what you need me to do. We are family, it's what we do.” You nodded at him and sighed softly. Your phone alarm began to ring through the silence and you whined.

“It’s that time.” You chuckled, pulling your phone to snooze your alarm and reaching into the middle console and pulling out a small packet of pills. Popping on into your hand, you placed the pill in your mouth and dry swallowed it. Jeongin watched the whole scene and after you were done you looked at his sad eyes and laughed. 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“Why do you take those?” He asked. 

You looked at him in confusion, “ Birth control? Obviously, so I don’t get pre-”

“That’s not what you want.” He interrupted and immediately you felt sadness run through you.

“You know I can’t have a child, Jeongin. It would be chaos.”

“What if a child was the only way?” he responded.  You turned your head, “What if having a child was the only way to end the feud? Giving birth to the heir of both families?”

“The feud can never be ended Jeongin, a child would only cause problems.”

“The love you and Hyunjin have is not fake, what you two have is real and powerful. They say love overcomes hate. You two could unite and bring peace. You wouldn’t have to complete your mission and you two could live, happily, with a family.” He optimistically recommended and you looked down at your wedding ring that rested on your finger. Jeongin’s hopeful words made you sad at the harsh reality of your life. Jeongin sighes in a mixture of frustration and sadness. 

“You deserve to be happy Y/N. You don’t want this.”

You started the car and you nodded. Jeongin had always been your rock, the person who knew you better than anyone. He knew your heart and where you stood. The love you have for Hyunjin, how you wanted to be normal. You hated living this life, but what choice did you have? You were born into this, this was your fate and Hyunjin was your enemy. One day you’ll have to kill him, you knew that one day you wouldn't be able to live your life with him. You couldn’t grow old together, you won’t start a family. It hurt you. This was not what you wanted. 

“I don’t get to be happy.”  

*******************************************************************************************

Hyunjin walked through the kitchen and laughed softly at the mess you two made the night before. All the silverware on the ground and food left out made Hyunjin remember how he felt to have you again. Even though he was gone for a short time, it felt like a lifetime for him. There was something exuberating about being in your arms and having you close. It was like your heart beats were in sync when you two were together. It never ceased to amaze him how you were like his soulmate. Reaching down to grab some of the utensils on the ground, a knock broke the silence in the house and Hyunjin shot back up. Looking at the time, 9:04 AM. He surely didn’t think his wife was back from running her errands for the day. 

Walking over towards the door, Hyunjin grabbed the handle and pulled it open.

“Yo Yo Yo!” The brown headed guy exclaimed and smiled as Hyunjin leaned back in surprise.

“Jisung! What are you doing here?” Hyunjin asked as the two quickly hugged and Jisung pulled back.

“Came to welcome you back and give you some updates, is the wife home?” Jisung asked suspiciously.

“No she went out to run some errands, come in” Hyunjin walked leading Jisung into the house, “Sorry for the mess by the way.”

Jisung looked at the mess in the kitchen and smirked, “Doesn’t seem like a lot of eating went on last night.”

Hyunjin playfully glared at Jisung and Jisung held his hands in the air in defeat, “Sorry, sorry. But he congrats on the contract negotiations this week. Hell, you get any richer and I might have to marry you.”

“Hey, she doesn’t know about it so hush.” Hyunjin warned and Jisung nodded, “What do you have?”

“Confirmation that the Lee Family is operating. Take a look.” Jisung pulled out his phone to show Hyunjin the photo of the crime scene by the tracks.

“I assume that that is not just a pile of random ash, anyone could have burned a body.” 

“Not the body, the train cart.” Jisung pointed and Hyunjin’s eyes grew wider as the realization, “Blood red. ‘L’. So it’s a message.” 

“It’s something. Blood red is a Lee Family color. Maybe it’s a message for us, it's almost been twenty years since the death of Won-Shik. A new heir would be old enough to take reign.” Jiung informed. 

Hyunjin’s mind went red. The inkling and the thought of his natural born enemy gave him an profound adrenaline. It was always just a rumor, a plan in the shadows, that if the Lee Family had an heir, Hyunjin would be the one to end him. It had always been an image in his head to claim that kind of power, to never let the Lee Family come back. Generations of leaders all look to Hyunjin to lead the family to its greatest potential. 

“If a new leader is here, then we better get to moving on it.” Hyunjin stated, “Does my father know about this?’

“Uh I don’t think so, but um…” Jisung trailed off and Hyunjin looked at him concerningly. 

“What Ji?” 

“You’re father did come by the office this week...asking a lot of questions...” Hyunjin froze in fear. 

“What kind of questions?” 

“If you’re considering any one to marry, like any of the women he recommended. You’re coming to the age where you have to.. you know.” Jisung stood there awkwardly.  Hyunjin sighed frustratingly. 

“Maybe it’s time to tell Y/N.” Jisung suggested and Hyunjin stood there biting his lip.

He couldn’t just tell you. How could he tell you. “I can’t Ji.”

“She’s not gonna leave you.” 

“How would you tell the woman of your dreams that you are the leader of the biggest mafia gangs in the world? How do you tell her that you aren’t a PR representative and that you go out of town to make illegal deals with other gangs? That we can afford to live in a house triple if not quadruple the size as this one. There’s blood on my hands Ji, I’ve killed more people than I care to count. How do I tell her?” Hyunjin proclaimed at Jisung and Jisung hung his head down.

“What are you going to do about a future heir?” He asked concerningly. 

Hyunjin ran his hands through his hair, “She can’t have kids.”

“What?” Jisung asked shocked, “I didn’t know that.”

“She’s infertile. We’ve tried but she... just can’t” Hyunjin’s demeanor grew sad and Jisung nodded. 

“If she loves you the way I know she does, I think she will be understanding of your situation.” Jisung stated and Hyunjin shook his head in agreement, just to end the conversation, “ I do have to get going though, and you, my guy, need to get cleaning.”

Jisung patted Hyunjin’s back as he headed towards the front door. Hyunjin stood there in the middle of the kitchen mess and rested his hands against the island in front of him, lowering his head down and groaning in frustration. He hated it. All of it. When you came into his life, he never wanted to protect another human in the way he wanted to protect you. You made him feel secured and safe, and all he has ever wanted was someone to love him for him. Not for the money and the luxury that came with who he was. Hyunjin knew by getting involved with you early on that perhaps one day he'd have to come clean. Then some days, he just wants to take your hand and run far away and live a life without all of the damage. Jisung’s optimism for you was so high, but Hyunjin knew it wouldn’t be that easy. He didn’t want to lose you. He can never lose you. 

*******************************************************************************************

You took another sip of your red wine as you focused into the television that was playing recurring advertisements. Your legs curled up on the couch with a blanket resting over you and you heard the sound of the water from the sink turn off. Looking over to see Hyunjin drying his hands after washing all the dishes, you smiled in content as you looked back over to the tv and felt your phone buzz in your lap. 

SM: The morse code message is almost done. 

You read Seungmin’s text and you clicked your phone off when you heard the floor creak from Hyunjin walking towards you. You raised your head and saw him make a beeline behind the couch, approaching you. He stood behind you and his long fingers grazed your neck up and down and you moaned into the touch. You leaned your head back and he bent down to place kisses on your lips. His thick lips taking all of you with him as he tried to deepen the kiss but you laughed and he laughed with you in response. 

“Thank you for dinner” You whispered against him and he kissed you again. 

“Hmm.” He groaned as he kissed you a final time, pulling back and making his way around to sit next to you on the couch. 

You pulled your legs away to sit in front of you as he laid his body across the couch and rested his head on your lap. Your hand naturally rested on top of his head, and your fingers began to stroke through his soft locks. He hummed into your legs as he let you play with his hair. You smiled softly at the whole scene. This is what you lived and craved for, small moments with him that filled your happiness. He meant everything to you and you never wanted to be a second without him. 

Your phone buzzed again and you picked it up to read the messages. 

SM: Done. 

FX: What did it say?

SM: “ When the clock strikes upon the new day, won’t you meet me under the stars?”

MH: Of course, he’s not gonna give us anymore than that. 

FX: It is a riddle though, not very far from before. 

MH: It’s aggravating. We don’t know what it means. 

JN: Maybe it has something to do with constellations? Or something about the moon? 

You: Could be Jeongin, let’s look into that. 

You sat your phone down and aimed your eyes back at your husband who was watching the news for the night. You looked back up at the screen and then saw the news report.

“And we have some breaking news tonight, a community in fear after learning about a potential homicide by the local train station. Police were called to the site after complaints of a stench was called in, some believing a body had been burned.” 

“That’s crazy.” Hyunjin mumbled out and you stared sternly at the program, intrigued by how your most recent kill made a debut on television. 

“What is?” You asked back.

“That someone could kill a human by burning their body.” He said softly and you mentally scoffed at the sudden change of heart he grew from watching the scene. You knew that Hyunjin put up an innocent act when you were together. How every time a murder was casted on the news, he act like it was the worst thing. However,  you also knew that he had committed murders far more gruesome than you and allowed the bodies to be shown more publicly.  

Hyunjin shifts his head to look at you and you respond by looking down at him. 

“I would never let anyone hurt you like that.” He pouted and you chuckled to yourself and caressed his soft face. 

“You’re so silly Jinnie,” you smiled at him and he shifted back over to face the tv again. 

“Well, the event of the year is right around the corner and we are very excited about it!” The newscaster exclaimed as she looked at her co-caster.

“That’s right, the 72nd Annual Charity Ball Event is in two weeks and today we have brought the Chairwoman of the Ball, Young Mi Hyuk with us to announce the theme of this year's event.”

“Isn’t that the ball you go to Hyunjin?” You asked and Hyunjin groaned. 

“Unfortunately.” He grumbled, “ Another year of fancy cocktails and blood sucking pieces of shit I guess.” 

“Well maybe the theme will be fun this year.” You insured as you paid attention to the women on the screen. 

“We are very excited and honored to host another year of the The Charity Ball and we have worked very hard on developing a theme to accentuate what a special night it will be,” The chairwoman spoke in octaves to try and seem more excited than she actually cared to be. You knew that those who went to the ball did not care about charity, they only cared about reeling money in for themselves. You watched as the women grew anxious about the reveal and it happened so suddenly that you almost thought you went deaf. The way the words left her mouth felt unreal, exquisitely unique. It was hard to believe. You simply couldn’t believe it. 

“This years’ theme... ‘Under the Stars’.”

******** 

A/N: WOW so sorry this took forever to come out. It’s a bit short and underwhelming but I promise its gonna get good. I’m thinking of doing a taglist if people are interested. Please let me know! Also don’t be afraid to share your thoughts, I really wanna know my readers:) Okay until next week! -KMY

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ MY OTHER HALF ❜

✨ REQUEST: nose si voy tarde però bueno, espero que no. i would like to request (obviously if that is okay for you) a headcanon with angel x reader of the day of their wedding, like súper súper fluffy.

✨ MADE BY: @artofvamps

WORDS: about 2k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ Especial thanks to my lovely @angelreyesgirl for helping me with this wonderful masterpiece 🖤✨

❚❙ GIF credits: to the amazing @angels-reyes.

❚❙ ANGEL REYES MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

Never in your life you could think about having a most perfect wedding, Angel didn't care about it too much, being enough for him to see you happy.

The most magical place you have ever been. Especially when the sun is almost falling, around five pm.

From the window of his room, you can see the backyard perfectly decorated by Creeper and Riz. They didn't lie when they told you that would be amazing.

White and red roses everywhere, forming vines wrapping the wooden beams of the altar. Over the guests' chairs, there are six fairy lights, giving some more intimacy when the night has come; and a red carpet in the hallway, over the grass.

All your friends are there, mixed with the Mayans, waiting for you.

Your hands are trembling, alone in Taza's room, while you hear some voices and laughs outside. You can't help but take another look of yourself in the mirror.

The white dress fits your body perfectly, falling from your chest to the floor.

The girl at the shop called it ‘a-line wedding dress’. You don't care about the name, but about the fact that you look like the most beautiful girl. Your hair is tied on top of your head, behind a delicate silver tiara and small red crystals in it. Soft make-up, that Bishop's Old Lady did for you, just like your future husband likes.

Felipe is run of words when he comes to the room, but you can see what he thinks in his eyes, about to cry.

You know that he would like that Marisol could see you marrying her son. She would love to see the man Angel turned himself into since he met you three years ago.

“Hey, I’m Angel Reyes, and you know what? You’ll be my wife one day”.

He wasn’t wrong.

But he’s not going to lie. He has been the whole night having nightmares about you running away from him; about you deciding that you didn’t want a life with him.

Ezekiel and Coco have been awake too, comforting him whenever the doubts hit his mind.

Holding Felipe’s arm, he guides you downstairs to the outside, feeling your legs shaking and your heart about to explode. You have doubts too. You’re scared of him taking a step back at the last moment.

Although every bad feeling disappears from the two of you, as soon as you lay eyes with each other.

Angel is about to cry. So are you.

For you, for him, there's no one else around your orbit. Just the two of you. Him waiting at the wedding altar, watching you walk over the red carpet perfectly placed on the ground.

And, damn. You thought that Angel couldn't look better, until you have seen him wearing that suit.

A black suit, covering the immaculate white shirt under a silver waistcoat with mayan symbols tissues in it. His hair is perfectly brushed to the back of his head and his beard is giving you desires of kissing it.

Seriously, it should be illegal to look this good.

But the detail that steals all your attention is the fact that he isn't wearing his characteristics rings. That big silver cross in his right pinkie and a signet ring with the Virgin of Guadalupe in his ring finger.

Felipe kisses your cheek, to intertwine his son's hand with yours.

You can't help but use your free hand to clean the tears falling down his cheeks, making Angel chuckles softly. You are always taking care of him with the most minimal details, showing him how much you love him, before leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose.

“You changed me. You changed my life. You came with that smile, illuminating all the darkness around me. You've accepted me, advised me, shown me the road to happiness, put me first. You've never, ever, judged me. You've healed me, you've healed my wounds, my soul, my heart. You gave me the opportunity I always thought I would never have… You, mi reina, have loved me unconditionally without asking for anything back. I don't have enough words to express how I feel every morning when I wake up with you under my arms, when I kiss you, when I see you dancing in our kitchen, when you… look me with these beautiful eyes as if I was the fucking Big Bang happening in front of you”. Bringing your hands to his mouth, Angel kisses every knuckle of them. “I can't imagine a single day without you, without hearing your laugh, without reading your texts desiring me a good day when you wake up and I'm already gone. I don't wanna live a single day without hearing you singing in the shower, without riding my bike with you behind my back, without you smacking my ass and screaming ‘daaaamn, this is all mine’! You make me happy like no one could do. You make me feel important like no one could do. And I promise you, fuck… I swear it to God, that I'm gonna give you all of me. Every second of every minute, of every hour of every day till the end of my time. I don't want to live without you”.

Now, it's Angel who has to clean your tears, causing some laughs between the guests. And he can't help but wrap you with his arms in a tight, tight hug. The warmest and dearly hug he has ever given you.

“I didn't know what love was until I met you. I didn't know which was the meaning of life until I met you. Mi rey. My other half. It was you, and only you, since I saw you the first time sitting on your bike, smoking and with that face of grumpy idiot”. The guests laugh again, because they all know that pose. “And then you standed up and started to walk, and I thought ‘what the hell is wrong with his leg’”. More laughs. The loudest comes from your future husband. “But I would never change you for anyone else. We've been through bad days and good days. Shitty nights and funny nights. I would never change my life with you for anything else. No one has ever made me happy as you do every moment of my existence. You're the most awesome, incredible, loyal and lovely man I have ever met. You fight for me, you take care of me, you protect me. You make me smile whenever I feel insufficient, whenever I feel sad, whenever I feel that I don't belong anywhere. My home, my life, my happiness is wherever you are, Angel Reyes”.

Then, Taza as the priest looks at the two of you, before guiding his dark eyes towards you. “Would you want to take Angel Ignacio Reyes in hol—”. He can't finish, being interrupted by the man in question clicking his tongue. “Of fucking course she wants”. Gently grabbing your chin with a hand and placing the other on the back of your head, Angel kisses you by pecking your lips, making you laugh.

But Leti breaks the moment, coughing exaggeratedly. You asked her to be the flower girl and she has been practicing the last month, to don’t mess up her task. The most important one, actually.

For the next two hours, you can’t stop looking at your hand tangled with Angel’s, and the two fresh golden rings in your fingers. To other people they could be just two pieces of jewelry, but for you it’s the purest way to show him your love, your support, and your unconditional trust in him.

And for the next two hours, Angel can’t stop kissing your face all around. Going down with furtive kisses on your neck, your shoulder, your knuckles; not being able to take off from you his other arm around your waist, tightly closed to push you next to him.

Coco and Gilly are in charge of the speech, knowing that it’s going to be more funny than you thought, when they get up from their chairs drunk as fuck after too many shots of tequila. “Yo, mami… you really got the golden dick”. “Man!” Gilly punches him on the shoulder, making him strumble with his own feet and having to grab the other’s jacket to not fall. “I’m speaking the truth! Who was gonna think that he would get the girl to this point, ah?” “Not me”. “Me neither”. “You jealous, ah, motherfuckers?” Angel tosses them a napkin, causing the laugh of everyone around you. “Seriously, girl… How you do it to st—”.

“Enough?” Leti whispers to EZ, sitting by her side. The younger Reyes nods in silence, getting up, making Creeper and Riz a sign to take them off from the center of the yard; between curses in spanish and in some kind of invented language because of the alcohol.

“Hey, brother, I just want to tell you that by far this is the happiest moment of my life. You don’t deserve anything but all the love and the affection, and we all know that only her can give it to you”. You’re starting to think that EZ’s purpose is making Angel cry, because his eyes are being filled up with a bunch of tears now. “Our lives haven’t been easy, you know that… And you have put all the weight on your shoulders since ever, but I’m proud of you. Of who you are. Of calling you my brother. Mi sangre. I don’t desire you anything but happiness, Angel”.

“Yeah, and God bless your patience, sister”. Leti can’t help but add that remark, trying to not laugh when she finds you nodding energetically, before kissing your husband’s tears running down his cheek.

The big toast echoes all around the ranch, in the meantime that the prospects from Yuma and Stockton bring the cake. One of them. That’s the main, a three-story cake of black and white chocolate with your names drawn in red. Canche’s wife has made it for you. She’s an amazing pastry.

And you thought that Angel wouldn’t do it. HE PROMISED YOU ONE HUNDRED TIMES.

But that piece of shit were lying,

Stamping a piece of cake on your face, your husband quickly grabs your wrists to avoid you punch him, or do the same to him. As you sob between chuckles, keeping your eyes closed, Angel licks your lips with the tip of his tongue. “Mi dulce, mi favorito”.

“You promised me…”

“Ah, ah… I promised that I wouldn’t smash YOUR face IN the cake. And I didn't”.

After cleaning yourself and changing the heavy dress for another one that fits your silhouette to the perfection, you are ready to give your husband the last surprise of your wedding.

“Are you takin' me to a dark corner?” “Stop asking, Angel… You'll see”.

At the front yard, a baseball bat and a ball awaits. “What's that, baby?”

“Sh… I throw you the ball, and you hit it, okay?”

So there you are, watching Angel in position as in his old times, when he used to play in highschool.

You throw it.

He hits it.

And in just one second, the distance between you gets caught up by a pink powder, almost staining your clothes.

Angel is in shock. The bat falls from his hand. Eyes widened. Parted lips. His skin bristled, as his cheeks got wet again because of the tears.

“Felicidades, papi”.

He can't stop crying, embracing you with all his strength to his chest. Your husband can't believe anything that is happening today. All he has ever wanted is happening in a sight.

“The day we met, you told me that one day I would be your wife. And I told you that you looked like the father of my future children”.

[dontmindthefangirling]

The Switch {p.p.}

gif not mine!

Summary: In World 824, you’re the incredibly famous and incredibly obnoxious Peter Parker’s assistant. In World 626, you’re the nerdy and Star Wars loving Peter Parker’s best friend. In both worlds, you manage to fall in love with him, but what happens when there is a glitch in the universe, and they switch places?

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, FLUFF

Pairing: college!Peter x reader, famous!Peter x reader

chapter 1 | series masterlist

This chapter is mostly about famous!Peter, but the switch will be coming soon! 

chapter 2 - uncharted territory

-

World 626

You couldn’t sleep. The only image you had in your mind was of Peter’s arms resting gently on your waist and yours snaking up around his neck to play with the curls at the nape of his neck. 

You knew you were both drunk, but you felt almost pulled towards him. The way he looked down at you with the moon’s light shining on you both and the frat music blasting from the house nearby made you feel a way you never felt before. 

It was like all of the moments you shared suddenly clicked and everything made sense. 

You were laying on your back, staring at the ceiling and thinking about what you were going to do next. You felt an ache in your chest from simply not being with him in that moment. You rolled onto your side and spotted the framed picture you had of both of you at your high school graduation. Peter’s arm was around your shoulders and you were both elated, smiling up at the caps being thrown in the air. 

The memory made you smile. 

You let out a soft sigh. The moment you shared was so minimal, you thought. You hug all the time, why was this any different? 

Was it because you couldn’t stop staring at his lips, or because your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest? Was it the way he bit on his chapped lips, never removing his gaze from you? 

You’ve dated other people in the past, and so has Peter, but you two always gravitated back to each other. You were his best friend and he was yours. 

But you couldn’t shake the thoughts of what it would feel like to kiss hi-

Tap tap tap!

You lifted your head in alarm and looked towards your bedroom window. You glanced towards MJ, hearing her soft snores to confirm that she was still asleep. You frowned as you quietly walked towards the window, your heart almost leaping out of your chest when you saw Peter on the fire escape dressed in his Spider-Man suit. 

You cautiously looked back at MJ before lifting the window and crawling out. 

“Peter? What’s wrong?” you asked, hugging your arms around your body as soon as your bare arms hit the chilly air. Usually Peter came to you when he was injured and needed help getting patched up, but he seemed healthy. 

“I was just patrolling and I was swinging by your apartment,” he said, going to pull the mask from his face. His hair was a mess underneath, but you liked how the curls almost fell in front of his doe eyes. 

You laughed lightly. “So you thought you’d just stop by?”

Peter chuckled nervously while looking down at the mask in his hands. 

“Yeah...I uh...was just...I couldn’t-”

“Spit it out,” you giggled, teasing him because you knew it made him laugh. Most of the time. 

He looked up and met your gaze, and the serious expression on his face made you suddenly nervous. Was he mad at you? Did you do something wrong?

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said, barely above a whisper. 

You felt your stomach lurch as you looked at him while also deciphering what he just said. 

“Oh,” was all you were able to come up with. Was he having the same thoughts that you were having?

Peter swallowed thickly. “I’ve just been thinking a lot about...us.”

“Us?”

“Y-Yeah.”

You were raking your mind, trying to come with something more coherent to say, but your heart was beating a mile a minute, which you were sure Peter could hear considering his senses were heightened. 

“Me too,” you finally managed to say. 

Peter’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Really?”

You nodded. “I don’t...I don’t know what it means, but I can’t stop thinking about you either.”

“You’re my best friend, (Y/N),” Peter said softly. “But I’ve uh...been having these feelings for a while.”

“Me too,” you found yourself saying. And it was true. Every time Peter hugged you or kissed your forehead or came over for cuddles, it made you think it was just him being your best friend, but now...you knew it was more than that. 

“What feelings are you having...exactly?” Peter asked cautiously. 

You rung your hangs together, playing with your fingers as you looked down at them.

“That maybe there’s something more here.”

“Something more?”

You looked up and saw that Peter had stepped closer to you, his eyes bearing into yours. It was like he wanted to hear you say it. 

“Something more than just best friends,” you said, barely above a whisper. “Because, I-”

You paused because you felt like you couldn’t breathe. This was the first time you were admitting these feelings to not only him, but yourself as well. You knew they were always there, but now you were actually acknowledging them.

“Say it,” Peter whispered. “Please.”

“I like you,” you said, your voice shaking along with your hands. You were both entering uncharted territory now, and you didn’t think there was any coming back from this. “Uh...more than a friend.”

Suddenly, Peter’s hands were on either side of your face, cupping your cheeks as his lips crashed down onto yours. It was like upon hearing those words, it gave him the green light to do what he had always wanted to do. You kissed him back, smiling against his lips because kissing him was everything you imagined it to be. His lips were chapped, but he tasted like fresh mint, and you couldn’t get enough of it. The kiss was soft and gentle as you both tested the waters. 

When you finally pulled away from each other, you felt like you were going to pass out because this was all you wanted, and he was perfect, and the moon was once again casting light on your budding relationship.

Peter’s arms fell to wrap around your waist and he pulled you to him. He rested his forehead against yours as you both tried to catch your breaths. 

“What does this mean?” you whispered.

“I hope it means you’ll be my girlfriend,” Peter whispered back, his breath fanning your lips. You played with the curls at the nape of his neck and looked up at him, pulling away slightly so you could actually look at him. 

“What if this ruins us?” you croaked. 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “We won’t let it.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“(Y/N),” Peter whispered, brushing a stray hair out of your face. “You’re the most important person to me...I won’t let anything take you away from me.”

You felt a smile pulling at your lips as you rested your forehead back against his. You brought one hand down from his neck to rest on his chest and you could feel the thump of his heart against it.

“By the way,” Peter whispered while capturing your lips in a brief kiss, something that you knew that you would already never get enough of. 

“I like you too.”

-

World 824

You didn’t realize how many drinks you had had until the world around you was spinning and your vision was blurry. The afterparty to Will’s movie was packed with celebrities, paparazzi, producers, and basically anyone who was anyone in Hollywood. You had been hanging out with Will and Peter for a majority of the night, and it was only bearable because Will’s girlfriend, Lexi, was there to keep you company. 

“(Y/N)?” Lexi laughed taking your drink out of your hand. 

“Hey!” you protested, grabbing for it back, but failing miserably. 

“I think that’s enough for one night,” Lexi chuckled. “I’m cutting you off.”

You pouted. “Why?”

You never really got to let loose at events like these. You were always on the lookout for Peter, making sure he wasn’t getting into some dumb fight or drawing any negative publicity to himself. Being his assistant and publicist all in one was the most exhausting job you’ve ever taken on. 

Maybe doing this job for a normal celebrity would have been easier, but of course you had to do it for a superhero.

“Lexi’s right, that’s enough (Y/N),” Peter said as he appeared by your side. You glared at him. 

“You’re one to talk,” you spat. “You’re always getting drunk and making my job ten times harder.”

Peter scoffed. “Oh please, that happened like once.”

You felt your blood boil. “Are you kidding me? It happens like every other night! I’m always there to save the day because Spider-Man can’t use his own fucking head!”

“Then why don’t you quit (Y/N)?!” Peter snapped. 

“Fine! Maybe I will!” you turned on your heel, storming away from Peter while your heart raced a mile a minute. You couldn’t see straight from both the alcohol and the anger that laced your vision. He was never appreciative of what you did for him, and the alcohol just gave you the confidence to say it. 

Peter went to follow you, but Will put his arm in front of him. 

“Let her cool off, man,” he advised. Peter huffed as Lexi jogged after you. He already regretted what he said and he wanted to mend it with you almost immediately. 

Lexi caught up with you and hooked her arm with yours to keep you steady on your feet. Angry tears were racing down your cheeks as Lexi led you into the bathroom. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Lexi said. You angrily wiped away your tears, sniffling and looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your makeup was going to be ruined. 

“He’s such an asshole,” you grumbled. 

Lexi smiled. “I know. But he cares about you. You know he didn’t mean what he said.”

“He doesn’t care about me,” you scoffed. “I’m his employee.”

“(Y/N), you’re more than an employee to him,” Lexi said, placing her hands on your shoulders to get you to look at her. “Don’t you see it?”

Your drunk mind couldn’t comprehend what she was saying so you just shrugged her off.

“No, not really,” you grumbled. You splashed your face lightly with some water and wiped away the streaks of mascara that were under your eyes. 

“Come with me to the bar to get some water?” you asked, turning to look at your friend. Lexi nodded and the two of you left the bathroom. 

Peter’s eyes never left you as he spotted you and Lexi leave the bathroom and head towards the bar. He almost intervened until he noticed that Lexi was just getting you some water. He felt terrible about what he said and he didn’t know how he would survive without you as his assistant. 

He knew you were right. You did everything for him. You saved his ass more times than he could count and he owed so much to you. He didn’t know why he acted out so much, maybe it was because he didn’t know how to handle his emotions after Tony died, but he knew he needed to stop. 

It was obviously taking a toll on you. 

“You good, man?” Will asked, placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Peter sighed. “Just need to figure out how to apologize to her.”

“Damn right you do,” Will nodded. Peter rolled his eyes and took a sip of his water. He told himself he wasn’t going to drink tonight the moment he saw you raise a glass to your lips. If you were going to drink, he had to stay sober and make sure you were okay. 

That’s why his eyes narrowed in on the man who approached you and Lexi at the bar. 

“Can I buy you ladies a drink?” a deep voice said, startling you from behind. You turned around to see a man you didn’t recognize. He was handsome with sandy blonde hair and dark eyes.

“It’s an open bar,” Lexi pointed out with a shit-eating grin. 

The man laughed. “So I guess I’ll just have to owe you.”

“No thanks,” Lexi said because you were too focused on sipping your water so you wouldn’t throw up all over your expensive dress. “We’re good.”

“Oh come on,” the guy persisted. “You girls like tequila?”

“I said we’re good,” Lexi said, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to her. You didn’t realize how close to you the guy had wandered, his breath practically fanning down the back of your dress. 

“I didn’t hear your friend say that,” the guy said, gesturing to you. “Seems like she likes to have fun.”

“I’m good,” you managed to mumble. “No more drinks for me.”

“You sure, sunshine? You don’t have to listen to your friend. You and me can go have a fun time together,” he sneered with a grin that made you want to vomit. 

“She said she’s good,” Peter said angrily appearing behind the man. “Get out of here, man.”

“Nobody asked you, Spidey,” the guy laughed. 

“I said, get out of here,” Peter growled. “Or I’ll do it for you.”

“Oh really? Is the good vigilante Spider-Man going to punch me? That’d look really great for headlines huh? Not really superhero material.”

Peter’s blood began boiling as he sized up the man. He could easily pummel him into the ground. He lunged forward and grabbed the collar of the guy’s shirt and lifted him from the ground. 

“Watch your mouth, tough guy,” Peter hissed. 

“Peter,” your small voice echoed in Peter’s ears and brought him back to reality. “Don’t, he’s not worth it.”

Peter looked at you, the way you were huddled into Lexi’s shoulder while Will stood behind the both of you. He dropped the guy to the ground and huffed before walking towards you. 

Much to Peter’s surprise, you stepped away from Lexi and opened your arms to him. Peter was quick to catch you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your shoulder. He couldn’t get enough of your scent as he inhaled the smell of your perfume. 

“Take me home, please,” you whispered. 

“’Course darling,” Peter murmured. “Come on.”

You both said goodnight to Will and Lexi before heading towards the front of the club where a private car was waiting to take you back to the mansion. Your head was pounding and you let out almost a sigh of relief when you sat down and relaxed in the leathery cushion. Peter settled in next to you as he told the driver to take you both home. 

The first five minutes of the drive were silent, the soft music of the radio humming in the background. Your ears were still ringing from the loud music of the club as you looked up at the LA night sky above. You always wished you could see the stars, but the smog made it nearly impossible. 

Peter watched you, his eyes looking at every detail of your face illuminated by the city lights passing by in the windows. He wanted to so badly reach out and brush the stray piece of hair that had escaped your up-do out of your face. 

Slowly, with the hum of the car and the gentle music playing, your eyes began to close. Your eyelids were so heavy and you were beginning to crash from the alcohol. Your head was bobbing as you tried to stay awake, but eventually sleep overcame you and you let it. 

Peter was startled when your head found his shoulder. He froze, scared to move for the fear of waking you up.

He glanced down at you. Your lips were parted slightly and you were breathing softly. He had to fight the urge to place an arm around your sleeping form because he felt like any sudden movements would scare you off. 

You both stayed in that position for the rest of the ride until the car pulled up to the mansion. Peter thanked the driver before he scooped you up in his arms. He carried you towards the house, opening the front door with the eye-scanning technology he had installed. 

His heart almost burst when you snuggled your nose into his chest. Peter inhaled shakily as he carried you towards your bedroom. 

He placed you down on the bed and carefully removed your heels. He winced in doing so, wondering how sore your feet must have been walking around in those all night. 

He gently pulled the covers over your body, sighing when he saw you cuddle into the fluffy blanket. A surge of confidence overtook Peter as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

“Goodnight, darling,” he whispered against your skin. He pulled back, wanting to savor this moment where you didn’t hate him, but eventually decided he had to leave. He went to walk away when suddenly your hand reached out and grabbed his. 

“Stay,” you mumbled. Peter didn’t think he was hearing you right. Did you just ask him to stay with you?

“What?” he croaked.

“Stay,” you whispered, opening one eye to look at him. “Please.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Just sleep,” you murmured, closing your eye. “Don’t wanna be alone.”

Peter’s inhaled sharply as he looked down at your hand in his. 

“Are you sure?” he whispered. 

“Mhm.”

Peter quietly slipped off his shoes and stared at you for a moment, feeling his heart beating a mile a minute before he finally gained the confidence to climb into the bed with you on the other side. He almost laughed. He never got nervous around girls, but he was terrified just sleeping next to you. Sleeping, not even having sex. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks at the thought. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, rolling onto your side to face him. Your eyes were still shut but a small smile danced on your lips. Peter felt like he could barely breathe.

“For what?” he whispered back. 

“Saving me tonight,” you said while opening your eyes. “It’s almost like you’re a superhero or something.”

Peter laughed and rolled onto his side so he was facing you.

“I kind of am,” he sighed. You smiled and closed your eyes while pulling the blanket up to your chin. 

“Goodnight Peter,” you whispered. 

“Goodnight (Y/N).”

-

World 626

You woke up wrapped in Peter’s arms, the sun starting to shine through your window as New York began to wake up for the day. It took you a moment to remember what had occurred last night and how Peter Parker, your best friend, was now your boyfriend.

You had stayed up talking and laughing on the fire escape until you must have drifted off to sleep. You woke up in your bed and the thought of Peter carrying you to it and falling asleep next to you made your heart want to soar.

You looked up at Peter and took in every detail, every freckle, every eyelash. Your legs were twisted together and one of his legs twitched as he seemed to be deep in his sleep. You wondered what he was dreaming about because you know you had dreamed about him and kissing him again. 

You brought a hand up to his cheek, gently tracing the freckles that lined his cheekbones. He stirred slightly, just nudging his head further into the crook of your neck. 

“Good morning, sleepy head,” you chuckled. Peter groaned softly as he hid his face in your neck. 

“You can’t hide from me,” you laughed, tangling your fingers in his curly hair. 

“Yes I can,” he grumbled, pressing a kiss to your skin. Goosebumps immediately broke out as soon as his lips came in contact with your shoulder and your breath hitched in your throat. You weren’t aware of the effect Peter had on you until you realized he took your breath away with every touch or kiss.

Peter slowly pulled his head back and groggily smiled at you. His eyes were heavy with sleep, but he looked at you with such adoration that you thought your heart may burst. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat and you blushed at his words. 

“How’d you sleep?” you said softly. 

“Best I’ve ever slept,” Peter said with a smile. His voice was laced with sleep, raspy words coming out and it made you want to kiss him until you both ran out of air. 

“Me too,” you whispered. 

Peter looked down at you and brushed the hair out of your face. He smiled at you as he pressed his lips to yours. You smiled against his lips, knowing already that you would want to kiss him everyday for the rest of your life. Your lips fit together like two pieces of the puzzle finally connected. Your hands came up to rest in his curls as you tugged him closer. 

He was everything you could have ever wanted and more. 

You had admitted to him last night that you liked him, as more than a friend, but you knew deep down that you had fallen for him a long time ago. 

“What the fuck is this?” MJ’s voice scolded, causing you and Peter to pull apart quickly in alarm. Your roommate stood by your bed with her hands on her hips. 

“You two better not have sex while I’m in the room,” she scoffed causing you and Peter to both laugh as you turned red. Of course you had thought about having sex with Peter, how could you not when he looked like...that. But now that it was a real possibility, you felt incredibly nervous of the prospect of it. 

“And Parker, if you’re going to stay nights you could at least make me coffee in the morning,” MJ said while turning on her heel and heading towards the bathroom. 

“Fucking finally,” MJ muttered under her breath, causing you and Peter to laugh. “Ned owes me twenty bucks!”

“What do you mean?” you called as MJ slammed the door to the bathroom. “You two had a bet?!”

“Of course we did!” MJ called back as the shower started to run. “You two have been making eyes at each other for the last five years!”

You and Peter looked at each other, blushing in embarrassment. 

“Guess I should have asked you out a long time ago,” Peter whispered. 

You chuckled. “Better late than never.”

Peter hummed in response before cupping your cheek and bringing your lips to his in a sweet blissful kiss that made your head spin. 

-

chapter 3 - do you regret it? [1/25/21]

taglist: @hannahelizabeth-537​

[pregnant-piggy]

I’m having your baby - part V

Sirius Black x reader

series masterlist,  part one, part two, part three, part four

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, food, pregnancy

Words: 3.7k

------------------------------------------------

The car ride to the doctor is short. You sit next to James, who is driving. You haven’t talked to him about Sirius and you are not planning on doing so. You know how disappointed James is in Sirius. That is why you asked him to come with you to the doctor. You had made an appointment together with Remus, but this one agreed that you should take James. So now you are in the car with James. He has a big smile on his face, but he is not really happy. You know he feels terrible. This morning at breakfast he didn’t say a word and by the bags under his eyes you could see that he had not slept a lot, if even at all.

You arrive at the doctor five minutes later. James lets you out of the car and takes your hand like the real gentleman he is. You chuckle and squeeze his hand. He squeezes back but with less strength. You look up to him and see he is twitching his nose; something he always does when he is nervous.

‘Are you nervous, James?’ you ask and smile when James nods. You bump your shoulder against his arm. ‘That’s fine, I am nervous too. What if I am not pregnant at all?’ James head turns quickly to you.

‘What do you mean?’ he asks surprised. You open the door and let James in. You follow him to the waiting room.

‘Well, I have done a test, but those are not a hundred percent reliable. So it could be that there was a mistake and I am not pregnant after all,’ you explain. James shakes his head in confusion.

‘But what about the sickness? And the super emotions you have been experiencing?’ You laugh at James.

‘That is why I expect to be pregnant, but you never know.’ You give James a smile and he turns his gaze to a little boy that is playing with toys. His mother is reading a magazine and when her kid walks up to her she takes him in her lap and shows him pictures in the booklet. James snickers and then looks at you.

‘That could be you in a few years.’ You rest your head on James’ shoulder and close your eyes.

‘I know,’ you whisper back.

- -- -

‘Congratulations! You’re going to be a mother!’ the doctor says. You stare at her. Even though you already knew, you are stunned. Suddenly it feels so real.

You can’t concentrate on the rest of the appointment and all you hear is a soft buzzing in your ears. The doctor explains a lot to you, but you don’t really register it. Luckily James is sitting next to you, paying attention. You just stare at the doctor’s desk. After a few minutes the doctor is done talking and you look up.

‘I do wish to ask you some questions before you go,’ she says. You nod. ‘Alright. Do you smoke? ‘ You shake your head. ‘Drugs?’ Again no. ‘Have you drunk any alcohol since the fertilization?’ You shake your head again. She asks more questions about your health and you politely answer them. ‘And you are the father?’ the doctor asks James.

‘No, no. I’m just attachment,’ James says with a smile.

‘Oh, okay. Is the father still in the picture?’

‘Yes, but he does not know yet. The situation is… complicated,’ you say. The doctor smiles and writes something down.

‘That is fine, we get that more often here.’ The doctor smiles at you like she knows what is going on. She gets up and you and James follow her. ‘If you have any questions just call us or make an appointment and here-’ she hands you some leaflets ‘-read these, then you know what you can expect. I also advise on reading books, but you are still early in the process, so that is less relevant for now.’ You shake the doctor’s hand and walk out. James follows you and places his hand on your upper back.

The ride back home is just as silent as the way to the doctor, but this time the tension is different. Right before you arrive at home James finally says something. ‘I can’t believe you’re gonna be a mother! That is so… mature!’

‘Do you want kids?’ you ask and James nods.

‘Yeah, I do. But first I need to have a stable relationship. I would never be able to go through what you’re going through.’ James parks the car in front of the building and turns to you.

‘With Lily?’ you ask teasingly and James gets red. ‘She does really like you. You should stop showing off so much, then she’ll trust you more.’

‘I know, but what if she doesn’t? I am so scared I’m gonna mess this up, (Y/N)! She is perfect and I really like her!’ You giggle and get out of the car. James follows you and nudges you for laughing at him. ‘Stop that!’

‘Alright! But you should have more faith in yourself! You’re a great guy!’

‘I know,’ James says and you hit his head with the leaflets.

Meanwhile you have reached your front door. James opens it for you and lets you in. ‘Lady’s first,’ he says.

‘Then why didn’t you go before me?’ Now it is James’ turn to hit you.

You hear noise coming from the living room. Peter appears in the door. ‘How did it go?’ he asks. You hang up your coat and turn to Peter.

‘I am now officially pregnant,’ you say with a sigh. A big smile breaks through on Peter’s face and he takes you to the kitchen. With a steaming cup of tea in front of you, you and James tell Peter about the doctor’s appointment. James can answer all Peter’s questions and you don’t even know the answer to half of them.

After a while Remus also enters the kitchen. He is still wearing his pyjamas and you can see on his face that he didn’t sleep a lot last night too, so you give him some coffee. James is still talking about the appointment, but after a while he is done and the kitchen fills with silence. You stare at your now empty mug. The tension can be felt throughout your whole body and you know you are all avoiding to discuss what happened last night.

‘I’m gonna lie down,’ you say abruptly when you hear sounds coming from Sirius’ room. You quickly walk to your room and you see a flash of Sirius when you close the door to your room. You stay at your door and try to hear the conversation in the kitchen, but you hear nothing. You sit in your chair and go through the leaflets the doctor gave to you. You know much of the information already, but it is nice to have a more clear vision of what you will have to go through the next eight months.

After thirty minutes you have read everyhting and you are bored. And hungry. So you decide to eat something.

The kitchen, just as the living room, is empty. You don’t know where everyone is. It doesn’t happen very often that the whole house it quiet. Most of the time there are always people talking or the TV is on. But today it is silent. While making a sandwich you hum a song to yourself. Your head bounces along the non-existing beat. You turn around and are faced with Sirius. You almost drop the plate out of your hands at his sudden appearance.

Sirius looks terrible. Like he hasn’t slept in a week. His skin is pale and his hair is a mess. He looks like he has been in his room sick for a week. His eyes are darker than usual and the sparkle in them that you like so much has faded out.

You are staring at Sirius and he is staring back at you. After a minute you break the eye-contact and give him a cup of tea. Sirius stares at you while you continue to make your sandwich.

‘How are you feeling?’ Sirius asks you. A panicky thought shoots up your mind, about him knowing about the pregnancy, but there is no way that he knows so you try to push the thought away. Instead you turn to Sirius and look at him.

‘I’m fine, babe.’ You raise your eyebrow when he flinches at his nickname. It is not the first time you have used that, you always call him that. ‘How are you?’ you ask, ignoring his weird reaction. Sirius sighs and stares at his hands folded around the mug.

‘I don’t know. Terrible.’

‘I don’t want to make you feel any worse, but don’t you think you kind of deserve it?’

‘I do. I feel awful. I know I should’ve told you where I was. But I just needed some time alone, I needed to think. You understand?’ You give Sirius a smile.

‘Next time just tell us. We’ll leave you alone, I promise.’ You turn back to your sandwich and take a bite, but you have lost all appetite. You sigh and push your plate to Sirius. ‘You want this?’ Sirius thankfully accepts the plate and in no time the sandwich has disappeared.

While Sirius drinks the last of his tea, you look at him. He looks sick. You feel sorry for him, you know how bad he feels. And you know that you should probably tell him about the baby. But you can’t, you just can’t. Something is stopping you. Stretching your body you walk back to the living room. When you pass Sirius, you shortly place your hand on his back.

‘You should talk to James,’ you whisper and Sirius nods. He also gets up and follows you to the living room. But when you sit down, he also sits down instead of going to James’ room. You look at him. ‘What’s the matter?’ you ask him softly. Sirius takes a deep breath.

‘I’m scared,’ he admits. You smile and pull him into a hug. With your hand you brush Sirius’ hair. He puts his arms around you and your inside breaks. There are so many things you want to say, but nothing seems appropriate. So you say nothing.

‘Just tell him what really happened. You don’t have to tell me, Remus or Peter. But you do have to tell James. You owe it to him.’

‘Why are you always right?’

‘It’s a gift,’ you whisper in Sirius’ ear and then you place a kiss on his head. You softly push him in the direction of James’ room. ‘You got this, babe.’

There it is again. That flinch. You don’t know what it is. Why does he do that?

- -- -

After an hour you start to worry. Not a single sound has come from James’ room. You try to focus on your book, but you want to know if everything is alright. Remus has joined you in the living room and he is just as tensed as you. He hasn’t read a page of his book too and his leg is bouncing up and down.

You get up and takes Remus’ book from his hand. He follows you back to the couch without even looking at you. You put your arm around him and he rests his head on your shoulder. To make the silence disappear you turn on the TV. But it still doesn’t take the attention from the door just inches away from the TV.

‘How long have they been in there?’ Remus asks.

‘An hour already.’

‘Do you think everything is alright?’

You sigh but don’t answer. James and Sirius have little fights more often, but those are about who has to cook dinner or which football team to support. Then they don’t speak to each other for a few hours, but they always make up. Always. But, right now, you are not sure if James will forgive Sirius. Never have you seen him so angry and hurt as he was yesterday. Not even when Sirius’ parents cut their son off. James had been furious, but he had to stay strong for Sirius. Yesterday he had no one to be strong for, Sirius wasn’t there and James knows that he doesn’t have to hide his emotions from you.

Just when you want to get up to get some tea, the door opens. You freeze in the middle of your action. Your hand is on Remus’ thigh and his hand is in your side. Your nails drill into Remus’ legs and noticing by the tight grip in your waist it hurts him.

Sirius walks out of the room looking even more miserable than he did before you sent him to James. His skin is paler and his cheeks are wet from his tears. You can’t see James and by just Sirius’ terrible look you cannot conclude how their conversation went.

The black-haired mess walks to you and Remus on the couch, but when he looks up to you there is a small smile on his face. You relax and lean back onto Remus’ chest. Something you shouldn’t have done. Sirius’ smile immediately disappears and before even sitting down he turns on his heels and walks to his room. The door slams shut.

Panicky you turn to Remus, who is looking at the closed door. Then he looks at you and back at the door. ‘Go to him,’ Remus orders. You can sense by his voice that it is not a suggestion and hesitantly you get up and walk to Sirius’ door.

‘Babe? Is everything alright?’ you ask with a soft voice.

‘Like you care,’ Sirius sneers back and he snorts. Your jaw drops and you stare at the door. What? What does he mean? Why is he suddenly so angry?

‘Of course I care!’

‘Yeah right!’ You were afraid you were going to cry again, but now you are getting angry. You never did anything to hurt Sirius. Didn’t you make him tea and offer him your sandwich? Didn’t you help him with his talk to James?

Without saying anything else you open the door and walk in Sirius’ room. He is sitting on his bed and looks as angry as you feel. His clothes are scattered on the floor. The room still smells like alcohol.

You hear Peter talk in the living room and close the door behind you. You don’t want the others to hear the inevitable fight you are going to have.

Sirius looks at you and you look back at him, not wanting to break the eye contact.

‘What’s wrong?’ you ask and you try to disguise your anger.

Sirius jumps up from his bed and stares at you furiously. ‘What’s wrong?’ he spits. ‘Why don’t you ask your lovely boyfriend? I’m sure he knows what’s wrong!’

You laugh awkwardly and humourless. What is he talking about? He knows you don’t have a boyfriend.

‘Or is he also just a game? Do you also just sleep with him, then ignore him and then act like nothing ever happened? Do you also call him “babe” and make him believe you like him when in fact you are just playing a game? Is that what this is to you? A game? Am I someone on the side?’ You still don’t fully understand what Sirius is talking about but you do know that whatever he is talking about is complete bullshit. Your feelings are anything but a game to you and Sirius knows that. Apparently Sirius takes your silence as affirmation of his questions because he turns around and sits down on the side of the bed the furthest away from you.

‘Why don’t you just go back to your boyfriend? I’m sure Remus is dying to know what is going on here.’ Remus? Then it hits you. Sirius thinks you are dating Remus. That’s why he ran away when he found you and Remus on the floor yesterday and why he just ran to his room.

You sit down on the other side of the bed and turn to Sirius’ back. You choose your words careful.

‘Sirius, Remus is not my boyfriend.’ Sirius turns to you.

‘Really?’ he asks. His voice is still angry but you can see hope in his eyes. ‘Then why do you spend so much time with him?’

This is it. You have to tell Sirius. There is no more avoiding. If you don’t tell him right now, he will never forgive you. Then all your changes to maybe ever be with Sirius will be wasted.

After taking a deep breath you speak.

‘I’m pregnant.’

At first it looks like Sirius hasn’t heard your answer. He is staring at you with the same angry expression he had five minutes ago. You tilt your head to the side and squeeze your eyes a bit. After a minute Sirius opens his mouth and then closes it again. His angry expression changes into disbelief. He keeps shaking his head and his eyes widen.

Your whole body is shaking. For minutes all you do is stare back at Sirius’ face. The nerves are rushing through your body and you can’t think clear. All you can do is look at Sirius. The father of your baby, your crush, the boy who thought you were dating Remus, the boy whose eyes filled with hope when you told him that that was not true. Does he like you the way you like him? But then why did he leave you alone yesterday morning? Why did he disappear all day?

The room is silent and so is the living room. The other three boys make no sounds at all. Sirius still doesn’t move and you get more anxious with the second. It is like a balloon is being blown up in your stomach and it keeps getting bigger and bigger.

The balloon snaps. Sirius moves and speaks. The words don’t reach you. They sound like someone yells them at you from an isolated room.

‘Is it… mine?’

Slowly, after making sure you understand the words, you nod. Then the last thing you expected to happen, happens. A smile breaks on Sirius’ face. His eyes sparkle and his whole face lights up. He moves up his knees and gets closer to you. Taking your hands in his he places his face right in front of yours. A tear glistens in his eye and you let out a trembling laugh.

‘I’m gonna be a father? That is my baby? We’re gonna be parents?’

You laugh relieved and rest your forehead against Sirius’. You’re so close you can feel his breath on your skin. And he is breathing deeply and unstable. Just because he is excited, you think, but when his eyes shoot to your lips and back to your eyes you turn more red than you already were. Sirius moans softly when you bite your lip.

‘It kills me when you do that,’ he whispers and his breath on your skin gives you goose bumps.

‘Mm,’ you let out and bite your lip again. With a quivering laugh Sirius closes the space between the two of you.

The kiss is the same as and completely different than the kisses he gave you a month ago. His lips are the same, but they were hungry kisses then, kisses desperate for an answer. Now the kiss is soft and loving. Passionate but light. It doesn’t taste like alcohol.

Sirius moans again and you break the kiss smiling like an idiot. Sirius’ hands are on your back and you feel his fingers through your sweater.

‘You have no idea how bad I wanted to do that,’ he whispers.

‘I think I do.’

Your head drops on Sirius’ shoulder and you sigh from relieve. There were so many scenarios in your head, but you had never hoped that this would be the one that would play out. You had expected tears, screams and blames. Mentally you had already prepared to pack your bags and leave the apartment.

Sirius lets himself drop on his bed and you fall with him. You can see he is thinking and putting the pieces together.

‘You missed the first doctor’s appointment,’ you say interrupting his thoughts.

‘When?’

‘This morning. I went with James hoping it would make him feel better. The doctor is really nice. She gave me some leaflets, but if you want to know what she told you have to ask James. I wasn’t paying any attention.’

‘Thinking about me?’ Sirius grins.

‘I was! Remember, you disappeared?’

‘I know,’ Sirius sighs. ‘I’m sorry but when I saw you with Rem yesterday something in me snapped. Please don’t be angry! I already got it from James!’

You kiss Sirius one more time and then get up. He grabs your waist and pulls you back. No matter how hard you try, he won’t let you go.

‘Sirius please! I want to get out of here! The others want to know what is going on. Plus, it smells awful in here!’

Finally, Sirius lets you go. He watches you from the bed when you open a window. The fresh air immediately makes the room much nicer to be in. You pull Sirius from the bed and put his arms around you. He stares into your eyes and you feel butterflies in your stomach. With his soft lips Sirius kisses you again and you almost melt away.

The door opens and James appears. Shocked you and Sirius let go of each other but too late. James already saw you and is cheering now. ‘Remus! Peter! They were kissing! Finally!’ He walks over to you and puts his arms around each of you. ‘This calls for a party! But no-’ James keeps still and turns to you. ‘Does he know?’ he whispers in your ear and you nod. ‘Okay great! No booze! We don’t want an idiot baby!’

‘No we already have one of those,’ Sirius says and he pushes James out of the room. ‘That idiot baby can wait,’ he whispers before kissing you again.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The last one! Oh, I’m gonna miss writing this, but luckily there is many more to come. I hope you all enjoyed this series!

MASTERLIST

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 11

A/N- OMG i finally updated!!

Please like/comment/share if you like this. Seeing that people are actually enjoying this fic makes me wanna write more lol 💕💕

I got next to no sleep, i just laid in bed going over and over the things Chris had said....was he being serious?? or was it the alcohol talking??

Finally giving up on sleep at 5:30am i got up and dressed and decided i needed to talk to someone about all this. When i went downstairs i made a cup of tea and grabbed Chris's coat from the back of the chair then headed outback, Dodger following behind me.

I walked down to the pool area and sat down at the table and chairs that were next to it where i was far enough away from the house to have a private conversation. I unlocked my phone smiling at the photo of Chris, Scott and Mason before scrolling to my recent contacts and hitting call.

"Hello" she answered after two rings.

"Hey ma, i didnt wake you did i?"

"No sweetheart, you know me I've been up since 5am"

"Thats because you're crazy" i chuckled.

"why are you up this early? This is very unlike you"

"Ive not really slept..... mom something happened with Chris last night and i'm kinda freaking out...."

"Oh god please tell me you haven't slept with him already....."

"No! Jesus Ma...."

"Thats good, so what happened?"

"Well after Mason went to bed last night i stayed up with Chris and Scott, we had a few drinks and just hung out you know? Everything was fine until Scott went to bed" i started explaining shaking my head, i told her all about Chris ending things with his girlfriend, about him getting jealous about Derek and then i dropped the kicker.... Chris confessed to still loving me and wanting a second chance!

"Wow, thats alot to take in"

"Tell me about it! Ive been up all night going over it again and again"

"So what did you tell Chris?"

"I just said that we needed to talk about this when we were both sober. I mean he could wake up and forget he even said any of this to me last night"

"Would you still bring it up if he does forget?"

"I don't know Ma, i don't know what to do"

"Only you can answer that, i can't tell you the right thing to do here baby. All i know is that you have loved that man since i can remember, even when he left and broke your heart you still loved him"

"You love who you love right?.... i just feel like an idiot" i mumbled picking at the sleeve of Chris's coat nervously.

"You're not an idiot"

"I feel like one!"

"Just talk to him, take things slow.... maybe use this time together to get to know eachother again before you decide on anything. Also, just remember this effects Mason now"

"Thats what makes it worse ma" i quickly wiped away a tear that rolled down my face, Dodger came over putting his face in my lap and i smiled as i scratched behind his ear. When i looked up my breath caught when i saw Chris slipping out the sliding door and heading my way.

"Shit, he's coming over.... i gotta go Ma. I'll call you later"

"Okay sweetheart, good luck.... deep breaths, i love you"

"Love you too, bye".

I locked my phone and placed it on the table before wrapping Chris's coat tighter around me. Dodger spotted Chris and went bounding over to him excited to see him up and about.

"Morning, you're up early" he said before sitting in the chair beside me.

"Morning, i couldn't sleep. Thought id call my mom to check in"

"All the way out here?"

"Its early i didn't want to wake anyone up" i shrugged picking up my tea taking a mouthful.

"You sure thats all it was?"

"Mmhmmm"

"You're not hiding from me after last night?" He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly.

"So you remember what you said last night?"

"Of course, i wasn't that drunk" he scoffed reaching for my tea and helping himself to a few mouthfuls.

"Im not hiding, just.... thinking"

"About?"

"About what the fuck i'm supposed to do!"

"Do you love me?" He suddenly asked making me look up at him, into those eyes.... damn him!

"What?"

"Do you still love me? Its a simple question babe"

"Its not a simple answer Chris" i shrugged "i mean of course i do but i just..... the way you treated me before.... how do i know that wont happen again?"

"It wont i promise! I know how bad i messed up...."

"You say that now but i can't help but worry about you changing your mind.

You broke my heart when you left me and now we have Mason to think about.... i don't want him getting hurt if this doesn't work out again".

"So your answer's no? You wont give me a second chance?" He asked sadly his eyes tearing up, i forgot how emotional he could get.

"Maybe we should just spend this time together, get to know each other again and go from there?" I said taking my mom's advise.

"So you're not ruling it out completely? Its not a hard no?"

"Im saying maybe, just... baby steps" i smiled over at him and he nodded smiling back at me as he reached over and took my hand.

"I promise you i wont let you down again, i wanna be the man you deserve and the dad that Mason deserves"

"Id like that a lot, even though i hated you for what you did... i still missed you"

"I know, i missed you too"

"Lets go in im freezing" i said getting up, Chris was suddenly standing and pulling me into his arms holding me tight.

"Chris..." i mumbled into his chest as my hands landed on his waist.

"Im sorry i just needed to hold you"

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him... as nervous as this made me it felt so good to be in his arms again.

"I'll make things right again i promise" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

The weeks were flying by and we were all still in lockdown, it was now May and there was no sign of anything changing just yet.

Chris was doing a lot of online interviews to promote his new show 'Defending Jacob', when these video chats took place Scott and I made sure to take Mason to another part of the house so he wouldn't interrupt.

Things with Chris and I had been going good, we wouldn't act any differently around Mason but once he was in bed we'd snuggle on the sofa.... we'd shared a few kisses here and there but thats as far as it had gone.

"Mom can we take Dodger for a walk?" Mason came running in from the backyard with Dodger diving on the sofa next to me.

"You better go ask your dad buddy"

"Dad!!!!" Mason yelled loudly making me laugh.

"Why are you yelling?? i'm right here" Chris said walking in from the kitchen with coffee's. Mason chuckled cuddling up to me suddenly going all silly.

"Why you getting all shy?" I asked as i run my fingers through his hair.

"I don't know" he mumbled hiding his face against me, Chris sat down next to him and picked him up pulling him into his lap.

"Whats up pal? Why was you calling me?"

"Mom said i had to ask you if we can take Dodger for a walk"

"Sure we can! Why don't you go get your shoes on and grab Dodgers leash while your mom and i finish our coffee then we'll go"

"Yes!! thank you dad!" Mason wriggled down from Chris's lap and run upstairs to the room he'd been staying in.

"Maybe it'll wear him out enough that he has a nap, kid has too much energy!" I said looking over at Chris.

"He loves walking Dodger thats all"

"So do i but not this much! Poor Dodge is probably begging for a rest!"

"He's fine, we'll just walk up the road a bit throw the ball around... we don't have to be gone long"

"I guess"

"You coming with us?"

"Yeah why not".

We walked Dodger as promised and let him and Mason run around playing fetch. Chris took me by surprise by grabbing hold of my hand pulling me close enough to kiss me.

"Hey! We said not in front of Mace...."

"He's not looking its fine" he laughed "so, i was thinking maybe you could stay in my room tonight?"

"And what if Mason catches us??"

"We'll say we're having a sleepover" he smirked.

"You're terrible!"

"You didn't say no though" he wriggled his eyebrows at me.

"I didn't say yes either. Mace, come on Bud we're heading back" i called out stepping away from Chris even though all i wanted to do was pounce on him!

As i looked over to where Mason and Dodger were playing i spotted a familiar car parked across the street outside of the gated area.

"You've got to be shitting me....."

"Whats wrong?"

"Thats Brian's car out there"

"What?!!! Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

"Im gonna kick this guys ass i swear to god...." Chris said as he started to storm towards Brian, i quickly grabbed his arm pulling him back.

"Lets just go back inside, call the police. I don't want you getting into trouble over that jackass. Just get Mason and Dodger and lets go. He cant get in here"

"Okay.... okay lets go" he whistled for Dodger who came bounding over followed by an out of breath Mason and we walked back up to the house locking ourselves safely inside while Chris called and reported Brian.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

@jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @buchanansebba @ms-betsy-fangirl

[lomlmarvel]

It’ll Always Be You II

Randall Carpio x fem!Reader Series

Part Two [Part One]

For the past few hours, you had been catching up on some reading. There wasn't much to do since classes hadn't begun yet. Hamish was getting ready for his first day of class by looking over his scheduling log and re-reading the material he was going to cover the first day. You felt like you didn't even need to attend his first class since you had heard him repeat his speech a dozen times in the past hour.

Lilith had gone to the store to buy groceries and toiletries. She returned and left again to go on a run. The den was quiet, other than Hamish's muttering in the corner of the room as he rehearsed his speech again. He had been making drinks in between and offering them to you while he practiced his speech. You had taken a few, but you could feel the alcohol start to intoxicate your body, and you didn't want to get drunk the day before classes began.

You didn't want to be drunk if Randall came back to the den and wanted to talk to you about what had happened earlier. Honestly, you hadn't stopped thinking about it since it had happened. Why did he keep leaning in if he was going to back out last second? Did he even mean to lean in, or did he even realize it? Did he have feelings for you? Did he know about your feelings towards him?

Your mind was buzzed with all the possibilities as to why Randall leaned in and why he pulled away quickly. Part of you had hoped that it was a mistake and that it meant the two of you would remain friends forever. But the other part hoped that he was as infatuated with you as you were with him. 

You took another large gulp of the alcoholic beverage that Hamish had prepared for you. It had been placed in your hand for the last 10 minutes, but your thoughts had been so busy with Randall that you had forgotten it was there. It was the afternoon, Randall should've been done with doing the last tour and checking in with everyone. He should've been at the den by now. That's if he decided to sleep in his room at the den. Maybe he decided to stay at his dorm to help the freshmen settle in their first night.

 It sucked, knowing this would be the busiest time of year for Randall. It meant you would have to deal with all the Order newbies with Hamish and Lilith, not that they weren't good company, but you preferred to be with Randall.

"What's wrong?" Hamish called out to you. He had been watching you for the past few minutes, seeing as you harbored the alcoholic beverage in your hand. You would usually take it all in one sip, but this time was different. He knew something was up when you showed up at the den by yourself and without Randall. The two of you were always together, even when Randall had to be working. 

"Nothing. Just tired of reading 'Hamlet' again. I finished 'Ready Player One' a couple of days ago, so this is the only book I have left," You replied, lifting the old cover of 'Hamlet' that was in your hands.

"You can get started on the philosophy readings you have to do--" Hamish started, but you cut him off.

"No, thanks. I have one day of summer left, and I do not want to spend it doing homework," You stated. Hamish smiled at you, placing his lesson plan on the table and walking over to you on the couch. 

"First off, Professor Krowchuk is thinking of adding three more books to the lesson plan, so you might want to rethink starting your reading now. Secondly, I know something happened with Randall," Hamish commented. You sat up from laying down and faced Hamish's concerned expression.

"C'mon, you can tell me," He softly said. He placed his hand over yours, and you smiled at him sweetly. 

"It's just--We were out by the tree earlier, and we were talking. I mentioned how I got into Krowchuk's class and when I turned to look at him, I didn't realize how close we actually were. I guess he didn't realize it either, but he wasn't pulling away. I figured I was finally going to shoot my shot and kiss Randall," You told Hamish, explaining what had been on your mind for the past few hours. Hamish stared wide-eyed at you, waiting for you to continue telling the story.

"And..."

"And, I started to lean in, because I thought he wanted to kiss me too, but then last second he pulled away. Pulled away, as in, he literally jumped two feet away from me to put distance between us. He got all weird, started packing up, and made some lame excuse about going back to the dorms. So I came here," You said, shrugging your shoulders at the memory. 

"Maybe he was just scared?" Hamish asked. You sent him a glare.

"It's Randall. He's not scared of shit."

"Look, maybe he just got nervous. Don't give up on him or yourself. Shoot your shot if he won't do it first," Hamish advised. You nodded and set your book down. 

"Thanks, Hamish." You pulled him in for a hug. When you pulled away, your phone vibrated in your pocket and saw a text from Jack.

Meet me at the Blade and Chalice for a drink? It's on me :) 

Oh, by the way, Randall's coming too

You showed Hamish the screen, and he shrugged. 

"Shoot your shot," He replied. You stood up and grabbed your sweater as you made your way to the door. 

When you arrived at the B&C, the two guys were sitting at a table with two beers in front of them. Randall immediately made eye contact with you the second you stepped into the room, but quickly avoided your gaze until you stood two feet from them.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Jack greeted you. You smiled and took the seat in the middle.

“How was orientation?” You asked. Grabbing what you assumed to be Randall’s beer and took a sip out of it. He stared at you for a moment before looking down at his hands.

“Let me get you a drink. I promised I would,” Jack said, watching you set the bottle back down in front of Randall.

“No, it’s fine. Randall doesn’t mind, we share beers all the time,” You responded. Jack turned to look at Randall, who nodded in return. He gave you a look before answering your question.

“It was fine. Didn’t really need to have a tour. You know Pete would talk about it all the time, I have like a mental snapshot of the map”

“He was rejected by his tour guide,” Randall cut in after Jack. You stared back at Jack, who rolled his eyes.

“I’m not interested in her,” Jack replied. His attention fell to the corner of the room where a posse of freshmen was seated.

“You into him or her? Or the other him?” Randall asked Jack, bumping his shoulders. You leaned over the table and punched Randall in the arm.

“Ouch!” Before you could respond to Randall, Jack cleared his throat to get your attention.

“What do you know about the Hermetic Order of The Blue Rose?” He asked. You looked at Randall, smirked, and turned back to Jack.

“It’s a crock of shit,” You stated. Randall agreed and discreetly pulled your chair closer to his. You turned your head to catch Randall leaning next to you, with his stare already on you. You sent him a small smile, which he returned.

“I think they may have been recruited, and I’m trying to figure out what they have in common.”

“Besides being...” Randall asked.

“Elitist assholes?,” You replied to Randall, causing him to chuckle.

“Hey, a lot of good people are members. Michelle Obama, Warren Buffett, Oprah,” Jack defended himself. You gave him a serious look and heard Randall shuffle next to you. You turned around, and he was starting to talk.  Did he move his chair so the two of you would be touching legs?

“You know who’s also supposed to be members? Bad people, like Benito Mussolini, George W. Bush. Oprah,” Randall said. He glanced at you and noticed you staring at him.

“For people that don’t believe, you two sure know a lot about them,” Jack observed. You turned away from Randall’s stare.

“Randall’s Wikipedia smart, and I’m just the unfortunate one who listens to him talk all day,” you started. Randall softly kicked your foot with his. “Look, even if they do exist... I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

Jack gave you a glare and took a sip of his beer. “Why is that,” he asked, a hint of hurt in his tone.

“They want sheep, and from what I remember, you’ve got a mind of your own,” you replied. Jack nodded and raised his bottle to you.

“Well, who wouldn’t want unlimited power?” Jack commented. The three of you looked at each other and nodded.

“I have to do something, so I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” Jack said as he looked at you. You nodded and pulled him in for a hug.

“I’ll see you later. Thanks for the beer, Randall,” Jack said, turning to the dark-haired male next to you.

“See you around,” Randall replied. The two of you watched as Jack walked out of the bar. An awkward silence settled as you turned to look at each other. You weren’t sure whether to bring up what had happened a few hours ago or pretend that it never happened.

“So, Jack seems real--”

“Hey, sorry about earlier-”

You and Randall stared at each other, cutting each other off. Neither of you said a word, you kept looking into each other’s eyes. 

“About earlier, I just wanna say I’m sorry,” Randall was the first to talk. “I’ve been thrown off this entire week for some reason, and I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re my best friend, and I guess I just got caught up in the moment,” Randall stated. You felt your heart fall, and your throat tighten. You wanted to cry, but you kept in your tears. It was just like how you had thought, he never had feelings for you. 

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. It’s the beginning of the school year, we’ve got a lot of pressure. I don’t blame you,” You lied, placing your hand on his arm. He looked down at your hand and smiled. 

“C’mon, let’s go back to the den. I have a feeling these assholes are gonna start using bad magic soon,” you said. Randall nodded and laid a $20 bill on the table. The two of you got up and made your way out. 

-

The next two weeks were stressful for everyone.  Jack had managed to get involved with the Order, but you only found out because Randall had told you. Randall and Lilith had been hunting down this thing that was killing pledges. Hamish had been busy with his class, and you had been busy helping Lilith and Randall figure out what the creature was. You had found some books in the basement, but Randall said it would be quicker to just search on Google. Being how you were so in love with him (and majorly because you didn’t want to read all those old books), you followed his direction.

With Randall, the two of you had gotten back into your regular routine. It was as if nothing had happened. You never revealed that you did, in fact, have feelings for him, but since he clearly didn’t have any for you, you decided to not say anything. You treasured your friendship too much to risk losing it.

However, things got interesting one day. You had gotten back from your last class of the day and started prepping snacks for the movie night you and the Knights would be having. Yet, when you arrived, the front door was swung open. You entered the living room and began scanning the rooms. But a particular smell led you to the basement. There, you found ripped up clothes. You searched for a wallet and saw that it belonged to the one and only Jack Morton. You immediately called everyone else and went out to search for the newly-turned werewolf.

[otaku-without-love]

【恋与制作人】Li Zeyan ER 新兰 Date PART 4

In the second half of the movie, the aftereffect of alcohol began to spread through my brain.

Dizziness made me subconsciously want to look for a place to lean on, so I finally fell on his broad shoulder.  

Victor: '' What's up?  

Mc: '' Well, I just want to change my position. ''  

Victor seemed to look down at me, then took the beer can in my hand and shook it twice. He didn't hear a sound.  

Victor: '' I knew that some people couldn't control their mouth. ''  

I said I wanted to borrow his shoulder, but I immediately fell.  

Mc: '' Because this beer is sour and sweet, it's easy to drink too much if you're not careful. ''  

Mc: '' If it's bitter like brandy, I'm sure I could control myself. ''  

Victor sighed and slightly adjusted his sitting posture to make me more comfortable.  

Victor: '' By now, the credibility of your words has been lost ''  

Victor: '' Besides, sometimes you can't control it even if you want to. ''  

Mc: '' Huh? ''  

I pressed my head to recall that I had hardly been advised to drink at the banquets and meals we attended together in the past.  

Even if someone tries to persuade me, he will be stopped by Victor, and others often don't say anything anymore.  

Over time, even on occasions where I attended alone, I didn't have to worry too much about drinking.  

Mc: '' Because someone has been helping, my drinking capacity has been improved. '' 

Mc: '' I just don't know when I can count on you with your help? ''  

Victor: '' Anytime?  

Victor: '' I'm your shield. Use me when you need it. ''  

I was stunned. My dull brain seemed to have been slightly stabbed, and I woke up a lot in an instant.  

I stood up and stared up at Victor.  

Mc: '' You're not a shield. You're my defender.

Victor: '' What's the difference? ''  

Mc: '' Of course this is, the "defender" sounds better! ''

Mc: '' And like that, I hope that you won't leave easily.  

Victor: '' Of course I won't leave.''  

Victor answered quickly and his tone was too natural. It took me a long time to blink my eyes.  

Mc : '' Never? ''  

Victor : '' Can't trust me? ''  

Mc: '' No, I'm just a little surprised. You seem to have been very sure about it. ''  

Mc: '' Generally speaking, many things have a shelf life, just like what was said in the movie just now. ''  

Mc: '' "There will be an end for everything" and cans that don't expire don't exist ''  

"Saury will expire, meat sauce will expire, and even preservative paper will expire.  

Is "forever" really meaningful in this ever-changing world?  

I was thinking silently. Victor handed back the empty beer can to me.  

Victor: '' I just think it can be done. ''  

Victor: '' A can will expire sooner or later. ''  

Victor: '' But I can keep giving you new cans of different flavors ''  

As he spoke, he forked up all kinds of unfinished snacks and put them on my plate one by one.  

Victor: '' Unlimited supply, there is no overdue day. ''  

Victor: '' The so-called shelf life is naturally meaningless. ''  

When I looked at the heaped dishes, my heart suddenly seemed to be filled with some emotion.  

He laid down the promise as if he had only answered an ordinary question.  

But I haven't been able to recover for a long time. It's like being in the center of the sea. There are waves caused by him in all directions.  

In front of this honesty, the courage from the bottom of my heart was awakened. I put the plate aside and earnestly held Victor's face. 

Mc: '' Since Mr. CEO is honest with me, I'll tell you my 

"secret ''  

I sat up straight and kissed him on the corner of his lips.  

Mc: '' Since a long time ago..... ''  

The kisses fell on the tip of his nose and cheek and finally lingered on his eyebrows and eyes.  

Mc: ''  -Again, again and again....  ''  

Mc: '' This is what I want to give you, constantly updated "can". ''  

Towards the end of the film, the light outside the window dimmed.  

I couldn't see the look of the man in front of me. I could only feel his dry and warm fingers caressing the corners of my lips.  

Victor: '' Do you like talking when you drink too much? ''  

Mc: '' No! It's because of you... '' 

As soon as the voice fell, the car radio played the ending song, and the melodious prelude was mixed with a slight sound of falling rain.  

Suddenly, raindrops tap the window and become unstable drums in the song. The finger falling on my lips caressed my face and raised my chin slightly.  

The clear female voice sounded slow. Before I could listen to the lyrics carefully, I was occupied by the warmth on my lips.  

The most familiar breath and temperature, the most familiar softness and strength.  

Every time I feel these, my heart can't help jumping.  

Maybe my vision was too straightforward. Victor pinched my jaw and opened it close to my lip flap.  

Victor : '' Close your eyes ''  

Mc : '' But—uh! ''  

He supported the window with one hand and leaned close to me again. I had to close my legs and lean tightly against the door.  

The sudden rise of the temperature burned my already hot cheeks. I had to close my eyes and let him control my breathing.

The kiss seemed to be fierce, but it wrapped my lips and teeth carefully, cherished and gentle.  

All the confusion and anxiety were held up by this tenderness. I couldn't help reaching out and grasping his shirt, like a feeling lingering at the bottom of my heart.  

Not shy, not pure sweetness, but happiness.  

In slight dizziness, Victor loosened me slightly and stroked my cheek with his fingers along my jaw.  

Victor: '' Remember how many times you just nibbled? ''  

Mc: '' What...? '' 

Victor: '' You don't seem to remember ''  

I looked at his smile. I don't know why he suddenly asked this.  

However, before I asked the reason, his warm palm slipped behind my head and inserted into my hair.  

His hand was slightly leaned on the window by the back of my neck and made it impossible for me to avoid the next attack.  

Again, again and again.  

He didn't give me room to breathe anymore. His tongue was repeatedly connected with the feeling of crispness. The faint sweet aroma left by the fruit wine made the intoxication ferment again.  

The sound of rain and music seemed to be far away. I suddenly wanted to get drunk in his little world.  

Near the end of the finale, he finally let me go gently, and a slightly hoarse voice slipped over my ear.  

Victor : '' Four times  '' 

Mc : '' Huh? ''  

Victor: '' I remember how many times you nibbled just now. ''  

Mc: ''  Sorry....what did you just say.... ''  

Victor: '' I received your "can". This is a gift in return.  '' 

Victor: '' This time, don't forget. ''

[fairfaxleasee]

"how much have you had?" For Solas and Trevelyan!

For @dadrunkwriting

Pairing: Solas/f!Trevelyan

Characters: Ayala Trevelyan, Solas, Dorian

CW: Alcohol use

------------------------------

“Lethallan, just how much have you had?”  Solas raised an eyebrow at Ayala Trevelyan as she giggled while she was slumped across the library table.

“Uh... not much I don’t think?” Ayala managed to say between fits of laughter.

Solas wouldn’t believe the statement from anyone else.  In addition to the laughter (which was what first alerted him to come up the stairs from his usual haunt in Skyhold) and the fact that Ayala didn’t seem to be able to sit up straight, her face was flushed.  She was obviously drunk, but given that whatever alcohol was in her glass had been poured from a bottle covered in Tevene that Dorian must have provided and how rarely she drank anything, it was entirely possible that she had only had a few sips.

“Has anyone ever told you, Solas - you’re a positively dreadful worrywart.  I’m keeping an eye on her, she’s perfectly safe.  Besides, you had plenty of time to corrupt our dear Herald before I got here, mysterious elven apostate that you are - I think it’s only sporting that you let the evil agent of the Black Divine have a fair shake at it.”  Dorian poured himself another full glass from the bottle.

Solas couldn’t decide whether he wanted to narrow his eyes or roll them at the man.  He settled for closing them and shaking his head, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come now - all the ‘private training sessions’ you two get up to?  It’s all over Skyhold you know.”

“...are you referring to the glyphs I instruct her about?”

“My dear man!  I am insulted you think you need to lie to me!” Dorian pressed a hand to his chest in mock affront.

“Oh, but he does teach me glyphs though!  Why do you think that’s a lie?” Ayala gave up trying to sit up and put her elbow on the table so she could use a hand to prop her head up.

“Ye gods, you poor, little Southern Circle mage!  Don’t tell me you actually study with the man!”

“What else would we do?”

Dorian took a gulp of his drink, “Study each other, for a start.”

“I don’t -”

Solas cut Ayala off, “That’s enough, Dorian!  And she’s obviously had more than enough.  Come, lethallan, I’ll see you to your quarters.”

“That’s quite unnecessary, Solas!  She’s perfectly fine.  And capable of making her own decisions.”

“Not when she’s too drunk to even sit up!”

“...are you mad at me?” Ayala turned to Solas.  She’d stopped laughing and he could see tears in the corner of her eyes.

“No, lethallan.  I am however rather annoyed at your companion, whose idiotic idea I can only assume this was.”

“I - well - that’s...” Dorian sputtered.

“Entirely accurate?” Solas offered.

“...I just wanted to be able to be normal and talk with you.  Dorian said it’d be easier if I loosened up a little...”

Dorian leaned across the table, “I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to tell him that part!”

“..but if he’s mad it doesn’t matter ‘cause he won’t talk to me anyway.”

“We can discuss matters in private at another time, lethallan,” he tried to keep his voice neutral but either he didn’t succeed or she interpreted his neutrality as anger.

“...okay,” she pushed the chair back and tried to stand.  She stumbled almost immediately and Solas rushed over to catch her.  Fortunately Dorian was either too drunk or too ashamed of himself to question how Solas could easily carry the human woman out of the library towards her chambers (even if both eventualities seemed equally unlikely to Solas).

She was silent the entire way there.  He had thought she was asleep but she grabbed his necklace when he laid her down on her bed.  “It’s later and private, so we can talk now?”

He could hear the hope in her words.  He should quash it now.  For both their sakes.  “You’re still clearly inebriated, lethallan.  Now is not the time for any discussion.”

“But if I’m not, I can’t...  I don’t...” 

He watched her ransack her mind for an explanation.  If he could be firm here, now, he could end things before they truly began.  “Perhaps you would be more equipped to discuss things in the Fade?”

...that was not what he intended to have said.

“But how?”

“It is possible for two mages to communicate with each other directly in the Fade.  There is a bit of a trick to it, however I am confident you will catch on.”

Why was he offering to get closer to her?  She already trusted him - saw him as an advisor, a mentor.  He didn’t need anything more from her.  He shouldn’t even be considering anything more with her.  Let alone all but begging for it.

“Do you promise?”

No.  Say ‘NO!’

“Yes, lethallan.”

“Do you need to show me?”

“No, the trick involves finding each other.  But don’t worry, I have it on good authority where to look for you.”

“How?”

“Several of my friends speak very highly of you,” she looked at him quizzically.  “You would not know them out here,” he explained.

“Oh.  Those friends.”

“Yes, those friends.”

“So...” she ran a finger along the halla jawbone.

“I will follow you in a bit, lethallan.”

She let go of the necklace and sank back against the mattress.  Solas left her chambers and walked back to his own to do the least advisable thing he could think of.  Find Ayala Trevelyan in the Fade.

[du0tine]

𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 | 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄!

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1,803 | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: below the line!

angst. self-intoxication, use of alcohol. hallucinations. unrequited love. dark best friends to lovers au. mentions of murder. drowning. light description of blood and gore. mentions of rigor mortis and rotting flesh. viewer descretion is advised!

“Remember when we were young? Too innocent for this world with simply no fucks to give?” You say, your voice is painfully hoarse as you take a long and painful swig from your whiskey. Cringing you whine from the burning sensation that ripped at your throat, you didn’t even like whiskey and yet here you were drinking your sorrows away. This wasn’t anything new though, it was routinely for you to rip yourself apart on this night every year. The night he left you. 

There wasn’t anything special between you besides the fact that you’d grown up together and were best friends. Having such a bond made it inevitable for feelings to arise. Whether it come from one of you or both, it seemed to have happened and unfortunately it only came from you. Your feelings for the boy were strong, you loved him with everything you had. At one point you were even willing to die for him and you did. Not physically but mentally a large chunk of your heart dispersed, your soul died having sacrificed itself for him. He fell in love with someone else and you lost a part of yourself in acceptance of that. 

“Would it be that hard for you to return my feelings?” You ask out, your voice echoing into the void. It was always silent, every night was simply like the next. You gave your heart to him and in return you were met with an eternal silence. You’d never learn to love again, not after him. 

Silently you expected there to be another voice, his voice. You knew there would be no reply and yet you wanted one. All you wanted was to hear his voice one more time and yet you’d come far enough in life to simply end up alone without him. Surely at the age of 26, graduated with a degree in business and running your empire up the stock market, you’d become successful. You were living the life you always wanted but what was it without him? At moments like these all the money in the world meant nothing without Jaemin by your side. 

Sighing to yourself you kick off your shoes, your feet slapping against the marbled floors. The coldness making you shiver lightly as you take another swing from your drink. The bitterness of the alcohol warming you up, you could feel yourself sweating up as your vision become hazy. You could feel yourself getting drunk in memory of him. 

Holding the glass bottle in front of yourself you slush the liquid around. You felt confined like this as if you were the liquid contents inside this beautiful glass bottle of poison. Self intoxication of alcohol being your only escape during times like these. You were simply drowning yourself in your own issues, swimming around in your problems. At this rate you were slowly killing yourself. The mix of loneliness and the harshness you suffocated yourself with was draining you of life. There was simply no future for you like this. 

Pushing past the balcony doors you hoist yourself onto the balcony railings, the coldness of the night air blowing roughly past you. Whipping at your skin as goosebumps arose, littering your skin. Bringing the bottle up towards the sky you hold it next to the moon, watching as it slowly disappears behind the cluster of dark clouds. It was almost as if everything and anything wanted to disappear in plain sight of you, just like him. 

“Jaemin, tonight we toast to you,” Raising the bottle up higher in salutation to the night sky before bringing it to your lips and emptying it’s contents. The empty bottle feels much lighter in your hands as you feel your head spin. The world seems to be speeding up as your body slows down. Sauntering back and forth on the railing you struggle to keep your balance. 

Once, twice you stagger back and forth. A cluster of hysterical laughs bursting past your lips as you through your head back in amusement. Finally, you felt like you were letting yourself go. 

“Honestly, maybe life will be better without you,” You ponder to yourself as you playfully stick one foot off the railing. “Either way if I were to fall you wouldn’t catch me would you? You didn’t have my back in the past so it’s a good thing you aren’t here now too. You wouldn’t dedicate yourself to me the way I did to you.” 

Momentarily you stand still, your chest heaving heavily as you gaze out at your backyard from above. Its calm and serene, the pool that lay directly below is still. The water reflecting the dark skies colours showcasing a murky, dark blue and black. It was almost like an abyss. Your mind strays off and you mentally note to yourself to have the contractor come and install pool lights. Maybe that would clear up your life, you couldn’t swim in your problems anymore. If you found some sort of light in your life perhaps then you could finally be free and instead of drowning, you’d be floating on the surface calmly. 

“Everything is just too dark, maybe that’s why I’m so clouded up.” 

“No it’s not, you have me here,” Replies a voice.

You feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise up in fear as you whip your head in the direction of the voice. Turning around you see a dark silhouette, his silhouette. He’s standing there in the dark and yet somehow you can just tell by his tall, slim figure and broad shoulders that it’s him. But how? There was no way he could’ve entered your home without you letting him and certainly without the security alarm going off. Overall though, he was gone. So how was it that he was back?

“Who are you?!” You confront the figure, your voice is rather shrill, laced in fear.

“You already forgot? No— you definitely know who I am. You’d never forget me,” He replies, his voice is different from the usual soft tone he once used with you. This time it just sounds much more menacing and much more evil. 

Then you finally see his face as he steps out from the shadows. Shrouded in darkness you see his visage, his features are still the same except for the painfully discomforting smile plastered on his face. His eyes are glassy and cold, no longer sparkling with warmth. The black tufts of his hair blow in the wind, brushing past his forehead and flying up into the air. There you see it, the small circular hole in the middle of his forehead. The wound seems fresh as the dark crimson blood slowly begins to seep out. Drifting down his t-zone and past his nose bridge. 

“There’s just…no way you could’ve forgotten,” He continues as he slowly inches his way towards you, “I mean after all you did this to me, remember?” 

You can’t breath, your chest feels tight and your throat simply won’t budge. You can’t even bring yourself to scream, simply just standing there in fear. Your eyes wide displaying all the emotions of fear you had deep inside of you. Within moments he’s standing in front of you, looking up at you. His skin is pale, as the blood continues to seep out of his forehead splashing him with the only colour of life he had. 

Reaching forward slowly his arms snake towards you as he wraps them around your waist and hugs you tightly. He feels like cement, his skin is hard and freezing and he simply just won’t let go. You snap out of your trance, your fight or flight kicking in as you try and get him off of you but no, he won’t let you go. Not now but isn’t that what you wanted? 

“I didn’t leave you silly,” He says, his breath is cold against your skin. The smell of death omitting from him as it feels like his aura is making the world around you feel polluted. “After all you killed me in fear of losing the one you loved most, me,” He continues as his places his head against your chest, you feel the blood pour onto your skin. It feels wet and damp as you start to hyperventilate squirming in his arms as you struggle to pry him off. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! You left me for her!” You scream in frustration as he simply hugs you tighter. It feels like you are being molded into place within his arms as he leans against you, pushing harder and harder making you feel heavy. 

“Well I’m here now, isn’t that what you wanted? You’ve always been greedy haven’t you,” He says once more as you drag your finger nails against his skin, peeling his skin off as a result. His flesh is rotting as he shows no reaction simply holding you tighter. Screaming in fear you feel his skin caught up within your finger nails. You try to push him off once more but this time he fights back. Hoisting you up onto his shoulder as he pushes you off the edge of the balcony. The two of you falling into the dark pool. The water feels suffocating as it pulls you both towards the bottom. His figure floats over you, his hands on your waist as he helps push you down. 

“Remember when we were young?” He asks, the bubbles blowing past his lips as he speaks out loud to you, his voice echoes slowly inside the water. “You promised that we would die together, in order to spend the rest of eternity with each other. You know? Best friends forever?” 

Your gaze feels hazy as you struggle to breath, your vision is cloudy. All your sense draining from your body except for the feeling of his touch against your skin. 

“You couldn’t let me live in happiness couldn’t you? So I’ll take you with me and now, we can be happy together.” He says as he closes the distance between you both, engulfing you in a hug. Suddenly the coldness doesn’t bother you anymore. The life is slowly leaving you as he presses his forehead against you, the tip of his nose brushing against yours as he kisses you tightly. “With your death, I’ll accept your feelings since you couldn’t bare me loving someone else,” He says as your eyes shut once and for all, the water has long filled up your lungs and you are no longer alive and now Jaemin feels like both you and him can rest peacefully. 

Your unrequited love being accepted by him, once and for all. The only price you had to pay was with your life since you’d so greedily stole his. 

𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑹𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑺 𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 ©︎𝑫𝑼0𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑬