#I put the game ones on my laptop the others r sitting in a drawer somewhere

[octoooo]

Pass the happy! 🌻🌈 When you receive this list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!💖

I remember doing something similar but I’ll choose 5 different things <3

1.) Friends on campus Uayayay. Anxiety sticks to me like the hair on my head, LIKE THE SPAGHETTI STAINS IN THAT ONE BOWL. Lmao I think it’s funny they first reached out because of the,,interesting stickers on my laptop + my Sailor Moon wallpaper/phonecase. We work on projects a lot in our librarby’s study rooms which is fun & chaotic <3

2.) My HAIR. I look SO delicious the frohawk is really workin for me (I feel like Genya,,,,,only bc of Mohawk this is so cool). Though I didn’t shave the sides of my head, I can’t bring myself to do it, maybe one day

3.) My dog, my pupperoni KARMAAAA!! I loaf her very much she’s so squish & looks like this

Isn’t she the greatest :)?

4.) Oatmeal raisin cookies. Delicious, scrumptious & yummy. I think im addicted. I don’t get why ppl feel “betrayed” I guess when what look like chocolate chip cookies turn out to be oatmeal raisin, I’ll fuck them up any day. If you don’t want your oatmeal raisin cookies send them to me

5.) Sea slugs!!! Loaf them a lot they’re so squishy & squiggly & I need them all in my house Now <3

[rohad93]

Authority Online : Ch 1

 4:50 PM on a Friday

Just ten minutes left in the day and there was still a three inch stack of things sitting on her desk that needed her immediate attention.

Jaune ran her fingers through her once carefully combed, short, blonde hair with one hand and flipped through the deposition from her last session of court with the other. It was a fairly cut and dry case, the defense was merely dragging their feet and wasting her time. She grunted before sliding the offending documents back into their case and glancing up at her laptop as her email dinged almost simultaneously with her phone. 

A quick tap on the track-pad began opening up her email as she glanced down at her phone and grimaced the second she glimpsed her mother’s contact photo. She couldn’t ignore it forever, as much as she wished she could, but she could certainly put it off for a little while. 

Amber eyes instead turned to the now three new emails sitting in her inbox, two from clients and one from her assistant who chose that moment to step into her office, a tablet in one arm and quickly flicking at something on the screen.  

“Ms. Roche, I sent the contracts you wanted and scheduled your meeting for Monday morning so they can be signed.” She continued to tap at the tablet without even looking up.  

“I got them,” she mumbled almost distractedly as she quickly typed out a reply to the other two emails and downloaded the documents to her hard drive before closing the laptop and sliding it and the rest of the papers and various manilla folders on her desk into her bag before finally looking at her phone and opening her mother’s text.

‘Dinner will be at 6. Don’t be late.’     

Jaune rolled her eyes and sighed. She had forgotten about the dinner she had tentatively agreed to on Monday for no other reason than to get off the phone with the older woman so she could get some work done in peace.

 Honestly she had barely been listening as her mother had blabbered on about some show she was dying to go see and was unconsciously humming in agreement while reading through some paperwork when she had apparently agreed to dinner at her family’s estate. 

What she really needed to do was go home, order takeout and look over these files for her Monday meeting. She’d never hear the end of it though if she did. With another, more resigned sigh she stood from her desk and shouldered her bag, shutting and locking the drawers of her desk. 

This was her assistant's cue to look up from the screen she nearly had her pointed nose shoved against.   

"Goodnight, Daisy, I'll see you Monday." She nodded to her assistant as she walked out.

"Have a nice weekend, Ms. Roche." Her assistant's nasally, high pitched voice followed her into the hall.

"I wouldn't bet on it," she grumbled to herself as she stalked out to the elevator.. Hitting the ground floor button a little harder then she had intended. 

Dinner with her mother was the absolute last thing on her list of things she wanted to do this evening.

Especially with the kick her mother had been on for the past few months.

Apparently she had been single much too long, in her mother’s opinion, and had started trying to foist a random assortment of women on her at every social gathering, function and event they ever went to together anymore. It was becoming tiresome to say the least. 

She didn’t have time to date, even with two partners and about a dozen other lawyers beneath them, she had an ever-constant stream of work making its way onto her desk every week. 

True enough, she could assign a number of her cases to the more junior lawyers, but then she rarely got all the results she wanted. 

Perhaps she was a micromanager...

It got results though. 

In seven years she had turned her father’s successful practice into a proverbial giant in their field with a series of successful high profile cases. 

Ever since they had a constant inflow of cases and clients that did not leave her much of a social life. Which was her mother’s main complaint. 

How many times now had she watched her mother lay on the antique fainting couch in her drawing-room and lament her only child’s lack of a love life with the kind of over the top melodrama that one could expect from a retired cabaret dancer?

Several times that she could think of off the top of her head at this moment. 

Just last Tuesday, in fact.  

Tonight would probably be much of the same if she cared to wager on it.

She wasn’t against dating, but besides not having much time for it, it wasn’t as though she knew anyone who was worth even making the effort for. Certainly not the often, vapid women her mother had been trying to push onto her. 

Rich and affluent, but the kind of woman that Jaune knew she had nothing in common with. Most of their interests, like her mother’s, included spending all day at spas, and country clubs. Where her mother usually met them. Several she had run into at the opera. 

Something she couldn’t stand. 

She had a penchant for music and performing, as to be expected considering her mother’s influence on her as a child, but all opera did was give her a headache. 

When the elevator finally stopped, she walked quickly through the front lobby, glancing at her watch. 

The sight of the golden yellow Mercedes parked in her reserved spot on the ground floor of the parking garage made her relax a little as she pulled out her keys to unlock it. 

She tossed her bag into the backseat of the car and slid into the driver’s seat with a tired sigh.

She would bear dinner for the bare minimum she had to, but it certainly wouldn’t be with a grin.

~ ~ ~ 

By the time she managed to navigate the 5 o'clock traffic and pull up the gates of her grotesquely large childhood home it was only five till six. The large black, wrought iron gates with the stylized ‘R’ in the center swung open when she pulled up, allowing her to drive up the immaculately kept, two hundred yards up to the main house. 

The large, white, American colonial styled mansion had been large to start with but had been added onto several times over the last eighty years it had been in her family, resulting in a twelve thousand square foot, two-story, fifteen bedroom and twelve bathroom monstrosity that was much too large for the number of people that lived in it. Namely her mother and a handful of staff, some of which had been working on the estate since she was born. This didn’t even account for the land the house was sitting on.    

She mostly didn’t even notice the sprawling acreage all around her anymore, but she did notice the unfamiliar, black Ferrari, parked in the driveway next to her mother’s white Aston Martin.

Was someone else here for dinner?  

Her mother would have said if she had bought another car, and she knew the older woman well enough to know that she would never buy a car in any shade but stark white.    

Jaune frowned, her instincts telling her to just turn around and go home, but she swallowed them knowingly and put her car in park behind her mother’s before climbing out of the car and moving up the walk to the front door. 

She didn’t bother with knocking and let herself in. The foyer was empty but she could hear her mother’s cloying laughter from down the hall. 

Inhaling deeply through her nose she followed the noise till she found the woman in the drawing-room, sitting across the room in her favorite chaise lounge, smiling at the two people sitting across from her. A much older, balding man and a woman with long black hair, perhaps around her own age. 

The man, even from the back, she recognized as an old friend and previous business partner of her father’s. The woman though was not familiar. 

It was at that moment that Blanche Roche happened to glance up and spot her daughter standing in the hall. 

“Jaune! We’ve been waiting for you.” She smiled, clapping her hands together, prompting the guests to turn and look at her. 

“Jaune, how good it is to see you again.” The man smiled brightly and walked around the couch to stick out his hand, which she grabbed more out of reflex than anything.

“You as well. I didn’t know we were having guests this evening...” Eyes flickered to her mother who was smiling coyly at her.  

“Ah, Well, we happened to run into your mother at the club this afternoon and she was kind enough to invite us to dinner, which reminds me, I don’t think you’ve ever met my daughter, Alice.” He held out an arm as the woman who had been sitting on the couch came around to shake her hand. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” The woman smiled.

“Dear, Alice here has been planning a trip to Spain, perhaps you could tell her about some of the things you did when you went last year,” Blanche suggested and Jaune immediately caught onto her mother’s game.

This was a setup.

She kept a carefully neutral look on her face even as she seethed inside at this ambush.

It was at that moment that her mother’s favorite maid, Penny, a tall, thin woman who kept her light colored hair in tightly coiled buns on the sides of her head, walked into the room to announce that dinner was ready to be served. 

Their guests followed her to the dining room, allowing Jaune to glare at her mother from across the room before having to follow. 

~ ~ ~ 

The next hour seemed to drag by for Jaune as her mother made not so subtle attempts to create some kind of connection between her and this woman that just did not exist. 

Her answers were short and to the point. Verging on curt, but just shy. Not shy enough if the looks her mother was sending her were any indication. 

 It took everything she had not to sigh in relief when they announced they needed to be going. They walked them to the front door, saying their goodbyes before walking out.  

Alice stopped in the door just long enough to turn to Jaune and hold out a business card with her number on it., which she took.

“When you have time we should get together again.” She smiled before walking out the door. Jaune glanced down at the card.

“Well, you were perfectly surly, this evening.” Her mother’s annoyed tone cut the silence. 

“I don’t appreciate being ambushed.” She turned to her mother with a scowl. “Did you plan this all week?”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” she scoffed, turning on heel and walking to her study, Jaune following, stalkingly, right behind her. “I ran into them today and thought it was a good opportunity.” She tossed a hand flippantly as she sat at her desk and reached for the decanter of brandy sitting on the desk and poured herself a glass.   

“That you tactfully did not mention to me.” Amber eyes glared into black ones for a long moment before Blanche sighed, resigned at being caught red handed in duplicity. 

“It was just one dinner, dear.” She picked up the glass and swirled the liquid around. “You act as though I had planned an entire wedding.” 

“If you could I’m sure you would.” Jaune snorted, crossing her arms.

“I’m only trying to help…,” she started.

“I don’t need help!” Jaune snapped, making her mother’s eyes widen a fraction. She sighed and closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose in a vain attempt to warn off the headache she could feel coming on. When the tightness finally receded somewhat she opened her eyes to look at her mother.

“We have talked about this several times, and I know you just want me to be happy, but I’m perfectly fine as I am now, mother,” she assured, though it was said in a level tone, there was certain pointedness to the words.

Blanche looked at her for a long, quiet moment before sighing tiredly, seemingly more to herself. 

“I know you are, Jaune, but fine and happy are not the same thing,” she said before finally lifting the brandy filled glass to her lips and taking a deep drink.

~ ~ ~ 

It was only when she was home, sitting in front of her laptop in her home office and nursing a large glass of wine after a near boiling shower that she cared to think about what her mother had said. 

She could, grudgingly, admit that while she wasn’t unhappy, that didn’t mean she was happy either.

She was…content, perhaps would have been the right word.

Content could be improved, of course, she’d just never really cared to try. Though it was now becoming apparent that if she didn’t put in some kind of effort, even minimal, she was going to continue to be ambushed at dinners. She drummed her fingers on the wooden desktop, nails clicking on the high polished surface.   

Where would she even start, it had been a while, and she was short on time most days, not even mentioning that bars and clubs had never been her style to start with.

She glanced at her computer for a long moment and took a long drink before setting the glass down and tapping the screen, bringing the device to life. She hesitated only a moment before she opened the browser and typed.

‘Online dating’  

Several hundred pages popped up, making her grimace and take another long drink. 

She scrolled through about half a page, unimpressed with the majority of the offerings. 

Especially Tinder.

She was about ready to close the computer and walk away when one website happened to catch her eye, if for no other reason then the bizarre name.

‘The Authority: Online dating for adult professionals’ 

Curiously, she clicked the link. 

It had a similar look to some of the other dating sites she’d seen before but perhaps more streamlined and with less frills, not that she was going to pretend to be an expert on web design, dating or otherwise.

It touted a large user base of professionals all over the world and a superior matching algorithm. She rolled her eyes, scrolling through the front page. 

With a final sigh she clicked the signup and started filling out the various questions. Height, weight, hobbies, the standard affair. If nothing else, the next time her mother inevitably brought this up she could tell her that she was at least making an attempt.

It took her longer than she cared to admit to find some photos of herself that were both recent and not dressed for trial, though she added one in anyway. The other two, her on the beach and in the markets in Spain last year.

It wasn’t a vacation, it was work, but they had finished a couple days early and Daisy had convinced her to do some sightseeing. 

She couldn’t off the top of her head think of the last time she had traveled that wasn’t for work purposes. 

Putting that aside for now, she finished putting in her personal information and moved on to the questions about what she was looking for.

She was relieved to see the women seeking women option. She remembered all too well when all the lawsuits had been going on against a popular dating site that had adamantly refused to cater to any sort of LGBTA clientele. 

She’d considered taking some of the cases at the time, but had been swamped with other things at the time.

Clicking the right box and selecting her desired age range and city before it finally took her to her newly created profile and prompted her to write a short bio.

She quickly typed out a short paragraph, just the basic information, her profession, where she went to school and a few random tidbits about herself. 

The screen began to buffer before a message popped up.

‘Congratulations, your profile is complete! Now send some messages!’

“Not tonight…” She shut the computer and stood, taking her wine with her as she flicked off the light and closed the office door behind her.

[inyourwildestdreamslove]

Bitter Love: Chapter 3

Pairing: Sweet Pea X Reader

You hadn’t seen your high school sweetheart in years. When your mere presence at a bank robbery send the thieves running for their lives it’s time you faced your past. Are you ready to?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3: Forced Love

You remember nights riding on the back of Sweet Pea’s motorcycle like it was yesterday. You could feel the wind in your hair and you felt effortlessly free. Your arms would be wrapped around his torso and he would speed up just feel truly alive. The two of you would race the moon in the sky and lay under the stars.

Tonight, however, is nothing like the carefree romps you used to have with Sweet Pea under the light of the full moon. Tonight, the air is filled with gunshots instead of stars and as Fangs reaches back and pushes you down into the floorboard you can feel yourself shaking with fear. The roar of engines echo in your ears and you can hear Fangs swear from his position in the driver’s seat. The SUV swerves to one side and almost off the road. You pitch forward and brace yourself on the interior of the door. You yelp as someone hits the vehicle from behind making the car pitch forward and a grunt from Fangs as he slams into the steering wheel. By some miracle he keeps the car in the road. The sound of motorcycle engines cut violently through the air and more gunshots are added to the fray. You hear the sound of a crash from behind you and the SUV slows down before coming to a stop. The passengers side door is yanked open and you look up into the concerned eyes of Sweet Pea.

“You okay baby?” he asks as he runs his fingers through your hair.

You nod shakily as you pull yourself from where you were wedged between the two seats.

“Where are we going?” you whimper.

“Away from here… Just the three of us.”

“Just the three of us?”

“I don’t trust anyone else right now. They shouldn’t have been able to find us.”

You just nod as you sit yourself back into the back seat. You’re cold from the wet towel around your prone form and your wet hair. Your shivering becomes worse than ever before, but the three of you have to get out of here.

Eventually, you’re lulled to sleep by the sound of the engine and silence that engulfs the car.

It’s a couple of hours later when you wake up strapped to a chair in a dark room. You’re confused and disoriented, especially since the last thing you remember is being the back seat of a car with Fangs and Sweet Pea up front.

“I see you’re finally awake…” you hear a voice from the shadows and squint to see who spoke to you.

A woman walks into the light of the single solitary bulb dangling from the ceiling.

You vaguely wonder to yourself if this scene could get any more clique…

“Who are you?” you ask your voice sounding stronger than you thought it would.

“That doesn’t matter…”

“Why not?”

She gives you a smile like you would a small a child who asks questions you have no intention of answering. Mostly because they wouldn't understand anyway.

“It just doesn’t,” she bites back.

“I don’t understand… What happened?”

Her smile is venom as she answers, “We need...The Serpents. They have become big players in a very dangerous game. Virtually untouchable. Except,” she purrs, “for one little detail. The woman that the illusterous Sweet Pea loves. It’s all very… poetic...and sad. He’s still very much in love with you… And if he’s in love with you… he can’t be in love with me…”

“So, you love him?”

She pauses and just laughs at you, “Oh! How funny! Of course not! I just need him… And I can’t have him if he wants you…” She hisses, “It’s… nothing personal...just business.”

A moment later she pulls out a gun and aims it directly at your head.

“Wait!”

“Yes?” she signs in imaginary exhaustion.

Your thoughts race with things that you could say and you can feel panic set in.

“Tick... tock…”

“You….don’t have to kill me?” you ask.

She laughs merrily at you, “That’s...just not how this works love… Besides! I’m saving you really… From a life of…dullness… your life has been very dull hasn’t it? Since you broke his sweet little heart…”

“There must be something I can I do! I don’t want to die!”

“Does anyone dear?”

“Please!”

“OH! Alright! You’ve pulled at my heart! There is something you can do…”

“What?”

“Kill him.”

“But don’t you need him?”

“If you kill him, I could take over the Serpents and I won’t need to play wife to a man.”

“I’m not killing him.”

“Why not? Does your life not mean more to you than his?”

“I-I…”

“Unless…” she purrs, “You do still love him?”

You look away from her, “Oh you dooooo!” she squeals.

“He will be so happy to hear that! He will practically do anything to keep you safe… Isn’t that right Sweet Pea?”

You glance into the corner and notice a figure in the shadows that wasn’t there before. Sweet Pea walks into the light and stands right in front of you. You gaze up at him purely baffled.

“What?”

He leans forward, his hands resting on the arms of the chair and gazes into your eyes. The roar of emotions running through you is overwhelming and you feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Leave us,” his voice cuts through the air as your begin to sob. You tuck your head down and curl into yourself as far as you can go.

“I’m sorry baby… but it had to be done…”

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me…”

“Because if you are going to be my queen I have to make sure you are loyal.”

“Sweet Pea! What are you even talking about?!”

“I want you to marry me…”

You stop and gaze at him in shock.

“Marry you…?”

“We love each other, you’ve proven your loyalty to me, I can provide for you, and with a little training you will be able to think under pressure. We will be amazing together. We’re meant to be together.”

“Was any of this real?”

“Of course it was real… The way we feel about one another is real…”

“No Sweet Pea… Was any of this real? Or did you just make it all up?”

“I needed to know how you felt and the a person staring down death is the most pure form of themself.”

You’re speechless as you regard the man in front of you.

“Come on, baby…. Let’s get you more comfortable and then we can discuss everything.”

You only nod numbly as you attempt to process everything. He unties you from the chair and helps you to stand up. You notice that you are still in the bathing suit from what feels like a lifetime ago. He leads you into a room where he guides you to the bed. You sit and feel the bed beside you dip, but you can’t look at him.

“We’re going to be so perfect together…” he whispers as he helps you to remove your bathing suit top. Your arms wrap around your bare breasts to shield them as he gets up and walks over to a dresser. He opens a drawer and pulls a nightgown from its debts, it’s in a deep shade of emerald green. He rolls the gown up until it’s easy to slip over your head.

“Arms up baby,” he says softly.

You do as your told and raise your arms and a moment later feel the silk fall down your body. He hands you pair of matching underwear and you hold them in your hand staring down at them for a moment.

“I’m going to take a shower my love… we will catch up some more when I get out…” he says with a smirk as he turns and walks into the bathroom.

Your eyes widen in terror as the bathroom door clicks shut. You stand up and rush over to the bedroom door and gently try it. It’s locked.

You groan as you rush over to the windows and examine them as well. Even if you could open one, you are 3 stories up and several men with guns are scattered across the lawn. You look down at the underwear in your hand before you change, putting it on in place of the swimsuit.

You glance over at the remote and turn the TV on. The news is full of your face. Your car is being pulled from the river in a clip on the bottom. The words Missing: Presumed Dead flashes across the screen. You don’t know how long you stand there staring forlorning at the TV before you vaguely hear the bathroom door open.

“Don’t worry beautiful… We can be together now…” he says as his hands come to rest on your arms, his lips on your neck.

“Sweet Pea? What have you done?” you croak out around a sob.

“Removed any and all obstacles that could keep us apart. I think you are going to adjust to life here very well…”

Three Months Later

Sitting on the balcony at your Chateau in France you gaze serenely out at the morning sun rise. You sip your coffee and rest your hand laden with your engagement ring on the keys of your laptop. Sure you had fought it at first, but you have everything you could ever want.

You have Sweet Pea, the love of your life, your freedom, your career, a chateau in France and you want for nothing.

“How is your novel coming my love?” Asks Sweet Pea as he walks out on the balcony to join you.

“Perfectly,” you say with a glowing smile at your husband to be.

“So, you’re happy here?”

“Of course I am… I’m happy where ever you are, besides I have everything I could ever want and more.”

He smiles a self satisfied smile, “I’m glad to hear that my love… How are the details for the wedding coming?”

“We will be meeting with the baker this week, I’ve already put it on your calendar.”

He just nods as he takes a sip, he already knows what you will choose, but he likes to make you happy anyway.

“I thought the little bakery we went to when we first got here would be the perfect one! Don’t you think so?” you twitter as you gaze lovingly over at him.

“Of course, if that’s what makes you happy.”

“You make me happy,” your glowing as you giggle at him.

How did you ever even live your life without him before?

I think this is the end... Probably not what you were expecting! I hope you all liked it anyway! Let me know what a comment!

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@iamaunicorn4704 @reblogserpent @xdontxcare @i-am-not-the-real-alice @wanderlust-and-poetry @personofwaves

@carostar2020 @lover2448 @unaveragewriterfreak @mayaslifeinabox @livinglifedreamingoutloud @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @ashwarren32 @fanficqueen306 @miwetf97 @itsjustmez @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @crazypenguin424

@mellxander1993 @54fangirl @cryinyouth @kingbouji3 @yuemeii

[sp4c3-0ddity]

And here we’ve got another prompt fill of about 3000 words for the Pidgance Positivity Discord:  Killbot Phantasm 1. it’s also sort of a sequel to the last prompt fill, which can be found here. Enjoy!! <3

After finishing the week’s assignments early on a Saturday morning, Pidge tore the house apart looking for Killbot Phantasm 1.

“Where did I put it?” she grumbled under her breath as she shoved aside books, DVDs, and video games alike. She even tried tugging the bookshelf away from the wall to see if the box had fallen behind it, but she had no luck there either.

Groaning, she pushed the shelf back into place and considered where else it could’ve gone. There’s no way it’s still in the Play Station… But then she checked anyway.

Nothing.

“Gah!” Pidge buried her face in her hands. “Where the hell is that stupid game?” No box, no disk, nothing, not even her old notes of cheats, like every trace of Killbot Phantasm 1 vanished without a trace since she played it over the summer.

“Well, it’s an old game anyway,” she complained, trying to convince herself that losing it wasn’t a big deal.

“Did you say something, love?” her mother asked, poking her head into the gaming room, where Pidge crouched against the wall wracking her brains for some idea of where the game was.

“I can’t find Killbot Phantasm 1,” she told her.

Colleen stared at her thoughtfully for a few seconds, and then asked, “Why don’t you play Killbot Phantasm 2 instead?”

Pidge crossed her arms. “Matt took that with him when he moved out,” she said, and then added huffily, “Besides, I don’t have a console that would support it since he took that with him too.” She still sort of resented him for winning the coin flip that decided who would get to keep the later generation Play Station.

“Isn’t there something else you can do then?” her mother suggested.

“Something else I can do?” Pidge considered, twirling a strand of hair around a finger. “Yes. Something else I want to do? Not really.”

“Why don’t you clean your room then?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my room,” she retorted.

Colleen crossed her arms, a very pointed frown on her face. “Maybe if it was clean you would find the game, Katie.”

Ah, yes, the gentle chiding voice. Pidge sighed and said, “Fine.” She stood and trudged back to her room, even though she’d already searched all the obvious places there.

Under the bed, behind the bed, behind her desk, on her bookshelf… She even dug through her sock drawer.

I give up, she decided. But then she eyed her phone.

“Hello?” Matt answered on the second ring.

“Do you know where Killbot Phantasm 1 is?” Pidge wondered, not bothering with a greeting thanks to this very pressing dilemma. “I can’t find it.”

“Oh,” Matt said. “Uh…I have it.”

“You asshole,” Pidge hissed.

“Hey! You’re in college! Do you even have time to play video games?”

She told him, “I’m ahead on all my assignments.”

“Oh, yes, I forgot how spectacular you are, Pidge,” he said, with only the slightest hint of sarcasm.

“Can you mail the game?” she then asked. “Why do you need it anyway? You have the sequel.”

“But I like the first one better,” Matt said.

“Then you should’ve taken the older Play Station.”

He added, “…all right, maybe not that much. But anyway, if you want it today, it’s not like the game can get back home instantly.”

That was…reasonable, actually. Pidge sat on her bed, thinking. “Okay, fine,” she said, “but you’d better bring it back when you visit.”

“I solemnly swear it, Pidge,” Matt said, and she could practically hear his eye roll.

But he would keep his promise; she would make sure of it.

They ended the call not long after that, and Pidge booted up her laptop to check if a library had an available copy she could borrow to sate her at least for the week. The public library was a bust, but surprisingly, the campus library kept copies of some video games at least a year old.

Killbot Phantasm 1 was out, and three weeks overdue.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Pidge said, staring at the screen where red type declared her goal out of reach.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t a lost cause yet, since she could track the overdue offender down. And thanks to her work study appointment as a librarian, she wouldn’t even have to hack the school!

A few clicks later, and Pidge had a name and an address that made her jaw drop when they registered.

“Oh, shit.”

“So we do meet again,” Lance said, smirking down at the short girl standing at his apartment doorstep.

“I’m trying to decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Pidge said, crossing her arms. She looked cozy, dressed in a dark green sweater and bundled in a yellow scarf, her hair tucked into the back.

Meanwhile, Lance answered the door at the sound of a furious knock wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, and the chill was starting to get to him. “Why don’t you…come inside?” he invited her. “I’m kind of cold.”

Pidge shrugged, so he took that as an acceptance and backed away. She stepped inside, waiting silently for him to close and lock the door, but he’d barely turned to face her again when she demanded, “Why haven’t you returned Killbot Phantasm 1 yet?”

“I…what?” Lance said, blinking at her in surprise.

Pidge agitatedly tapped her fingertips against her arm and repeated, “Killbot Phantasm 1. You checked it out, right? And it’s three weeks overdue.”

“Oh,” he said. He rubbed the back of his neck, something like disappointment washing over him. “Because I like it and I forgot my own copy at home?”

For some reason, that had her eyes widening in surprise. “Are you…ever going to return it?” she wondered in a milder voice.

Lance smiled, leaning against the wall. “Maybe, since it’s bothering you so much.”

“You’re racking up late fees, you know,” she told him. Then, she seemed to decide something, inhaling bracingly, and reached down to untie her sneakers.

“Uh, what’re you doing?” Lance asked, straightening and approaching her.

“You invited me in, right?” Pidge said, raising an eyebrow at him. “And it’s not finals season yet, so the library is closed today since it’s Saturday, which means you can’t return it, and Killbot is more fun with a second player any—”

“Whoa, slow down!” Lance interrupted, holding his hands up and surprised at the torrent of words spilling from her. “What are you talking about?”

“Let’s play a game?”

He blinked at her, brain slow to process. But then he nodded, unable – and unwilling – to keep a wide grin from splitting his face. “Sounds great, Pidge,” he said.

Lance retreated into the tiny living room, waving for Pidge to follow him. She did, unwinding the scarf from around her neck and tossing it onto the sofa without any invitation. As he set up the console with the game, she got comfortable, pulling her feet onto the couch and sitting with her legs crossed.

“You need any help?” she asked.

“You ask me that when I’m almost done?” Lance said, narrowing his eyes at her.

She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry,” she said. “I…forgot myself for a bit there.”

“That’s okay,” he told her. He untangled the wires on the controllers – the console was old enough that wireless controllers hadn’t been the standard when it was released – and walked backwards to sit on the other side of the couch. “Your sword,” he said, passing her the player two controller.

Pidge frowned at it, then eyed him. “Can’t I have player one?”

“You didn’t set up the game,” he told her.

She rolled her eyes but accepted that without comment.

The opening music played as the game turned on. Lance found the file he’d progressed through the story furthest, but he heard Pidge mutter, “If we were playing at my house, we would be closer to the final boss.”

“Maybe next time,” he said.

Pidge shot him a look. “Who says there’ll be a next time?”

Lance smirked. “Who said there would be a this time?”

She actually cracked a smile, and he felt a flash of triumph as she said, “Fine, you got me there.”

They lapsed into silence as the gameplay absorbed them, only speaking to give each other tips – Pidge was more skilled at this game than he was – or trash talk when the story pitted them against each other. At one point, Pidge’s character was almost cut down by a random minion, but Lance’s swooped in to cover her.

“Told you I’d be the one rescuing you next time,” Lance quipped with a snide smile.

Pidge smirked. “I mean sure,” she said, shooting him a sideways glance, “but this is a video game, and you got handcuffed to a lamppost in real life.”

Lance huffed. “Those are semantics, Pidge,” he said.

“Then if virtual reality counts,” Pidge said, rolling her eyes, “I’ve saved your ass at least five more times so far.”

He slumped. “Why can’t I have this one, Pidge?”

“Because I’m in it to win it, Lance.”

“We’re supposed to be working together here!” Lance whined.

The corner of Pidge’s mouth ticked up in a barely suppressed smile. “And yet, I have more kills than you so far.”

Lance rolled his eyes and hunkered down, preparing to kick her ass.

He lost track of time as they played, but eventually the door swinging open to admit Hunk interrupted them.

“Uh, whose shoes are these?” he called from the door.

Pidge glanced at Lance, a question in her eyes. “Hunk,” he said, shrugging. “My roommate.”

Hunk walked into the living room, eyes widening when they fell on Pidge. Lance paused the game in the middle of a level, right as he said, “Hi, I’m Hunk.”

Pidge looked at him, raising a hand in greeting. “Pidge,” she said.

“New friend,” Lance remarked before Hunk could ask anything embarrassing.

(It would probably be deserved, considering how often he teased him about Shay.)

“He’s overdue on a video game,” Pidge added.

“I’ll return it on Monday,” he promised, rolling his eyes.

“You’d better,” she said.

“How long have you been playing?” Hunk asked, peeking at the television screen.

“Good question,” Pidge said. She glanced at Lance, and when he only stared back at her, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone. “Ah, I have a missed call from my mom.” She set her controller aside and stood, walking out of the living room and towards the door without a word.

“Wait, Pidge,” Lance said, hurrying to stand and chase after her. “Are you leaving?”

“I’m just calling my mom,” she said, pointing to the phone now at her ear.

“Ha, right.” He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly a little uncomfortable, and a little self-conscious. He returned to the living room – and Hunk – to give Pidge some privacy, and overheard snatches of a quiet conversation once there.

“…at a friend’s house…by dinner…wearing a sweater, Mom…”

“So…” Hunk said, a sly smile on his face, “how did you meet?”

“Oh, you know,” Lance said, his face flushing, “the usual way.”

“For you, the ‘usual way’ is some exaggerated story of a girl tripping over her own shoelace and you catching her.”

“That happened one time,” Lance retorted, “and it wasn’t an exaggeration! I did catch Allura, thank you very much.”

“And then you used that awful cliché line,” Hunk pointed out.

Lance scowled at him. “You weren’t even there,” he said, “so how would you know?”

“Keith told me.”

“I’m going to kick him,” Lance decided.

“It was a year ago,” Hunk said, reasonable as always. “I’m surprised you even remember, considering how often you say oh, Hunk, I think I met the girl of my dreams.” He pitched his voice higher, hands clasped together at his chest.

“I’ve said that maybe…twice.” He reconsidered, tapping his chin. “Fine, three times tops.”

Hunk snorted. “But seriously, how did you meet?”

“He called the library by accident a couple weeks ago,” Pidge explained, returning to the living room with her phone still in hand. She had her arms crossed, and she wore a faint scowl.

Lance assumed she was annoyed with her mother.

“And then you…exchanged phone numbers?” Hunk said, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m missing something here.”

Lance turned to glare at Pidge, moving a finger across his neck in a slicing motion, but she tossed him a smirk and, while pointedly directing her attention to Hunk, continued, “Ha, he wishes. He asked for me to pick him up from the historic district. His date handcuffed him to a lamppost and stole his car. Did you ever get that sorted out, by the way?” She finally looked at him, both curiosity and mischief in her eyes.

“Damn you, Pidge,” he muttered.

Hunk, on the other hand, burst into laughter. “Oh, Lance, I told you Nyma was bad news,” he said. “Oh, my God, I can’t believe you let that happen!”

“What did you tell him?” Pidge asked, narrowing her eyes at Lance. “How did you explain that you were missing your car?”

“That I let my sister borrow it,” he admitted. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and added, “Nyma returned it after the weekend; said she didn’t want me to press charges and that she only took it for a joyride.” He rolled his eyes, to show her and Hunk what he thought of that.

“Anyway,” Pidge started, but Lance quickly interjected, “Are you leaving?”

“Uh…” Her eyes swiveled from the door, and back to the television that still displayed Killbot Phantasm 1’s ‘pause’ screen, music softly playing from the speakers. Then she smiled and said, “I guess I have enough time to finish the level.”

“Great!” Lance said, gratified with her answer.

“Well, I’m going to make hot chocolate,” Hunk said after a brief, incomprehensible glance between the two of them. “Anyone else want some?”

“I would love some!” Lance said as he and Pidge settled back onto the couch, controllers in hand. He looked at Pidge as he resumed gameplay and said, “You should take some; he makes some in a pan. None of that powdered stuff.”

Pidge seemed to agree, for she called to the kitchen, “I’ll take some, Hunk!”

“Got it!”

They quit after finishing that level, saving their progress, and joined Hunk in the kitchen, where he stirred hot chocolate in a pan at the stove. Lance propped his elbows on the counter, standing across from Pidge, and said, “Just admit defeat.”

“No.”

“I saved you from that last boss,” he reminded her.

Pidge frowned at the floor. “Yes, and I saved you from many more.”

Hunk chuckled, and both of them shot him a glare, silently chiding him to stay out of it. But he only shrugged, without looking the least bit apologetic.

Which was fine, Lance thought as Hunk distributed the hot chocolate into three different mugs. For his part, Lance found a can of whipped cream in the refrigerator and a bag of miniature marshmallows in a cupboard, and Hunk added ground cinnamon and nutmeg to the selection of ‘condiments’.

Pidge put a bit of everything onto her hot chocolate, and she smiled contentedly after taking the first sip, a stripe of whipped cream decorating her upper lip. “This is really good, Hunk,” she said right before taking another sip.

Lance enjoyed his own hot chocolate, generous on the cinnamon but light on whipped cream, which he instead sprayed directly into his mouth while Hunk looked on in horror and Pidge laughed. “Buddy,” he said, wiping any residual cream from his lips, “you should be used to this.”

“Hunk, you’re just like my mom,” Pidge said. She swirled her mug, then idly licked at the whipped cream still on top.

Lance’s face flushed, and he glanced at Hunk, who said, “I’m throwing that out if you don’t finish it.”

“Don’t worry,” Lance consoled him, “I’ll finish it. You don’t have to touch it if you don’t want to.”

“Good,” he said.

Pidge drained her mug and dropped it into the sink, the wide smile she’d worn since Hunk handed her the mug faltering. “I should go,” she said. “My parents are expecting me home in time for dinner.”

“Maybe some time you can sample Hunk’s cooking,” Lance suggested in what he hoped was a nonchalant voice.

“Maybe,” Pidge said noncommittally, but she didn’t sound reluctant so he took it as a victory.

He walked her to the door, leaving Hunk behind them, and while she stuffed her feet back into her shoes and tightened the laces, she said, “Well, that was fun.”

“You sound surprised,” Lance said.

“I kind of am,” she admitted. She stood at the door, her back to him, but looked back over her shoulder at him with a slight smile. “I guess I’ll…see you around?”

“I guess,” Lance agreed, matching her tone.

Her smile widened, a dimple showing on one cheek, and she opened the door and left. Lance watched her go until she was out of sight, despite the cooler weather since the sun had since set. He closed and locked the door up again, jumping when he saw Hunk standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Jesus, Hunk,” Lance said, pressing a hand to his chest. “You move quietly for a big guy sometimes, you know that?”

Hunk rolled his eyes, then smirked. “Thanks,” he said. “But you know what this means, right?”

“…no?”

“It means that I have revenge for every time you mention Shay.”

Lance scoffed, “No, it doesn’t. Pidge is just a new friend.”

“You say that now,” said Hunk, pointing at him, “but just you wait, right?” Without another ominous word, he retreated towards his bedroom.

Lance put his words, unimportant as they were, out of his mind. He returned to the living room, starting to put away the controllers abandoned on the sofa before he or Hunk tripped over the wires. But then he spotted the strip of yellow fabric bundled up at the end of the sofa.

He unfurled Pidge’s scarf and, humming to himself, looped it around his neck. He’d have to remember to give it back next time he saw her.

And there would be a next time, Lance thought, grinning. After all, he would return Killbot Phantasm 1 to the library on Monday, and Pidge just might be there to witness it.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Find the nearest book. Read the second sentence on page 13. I don’t have a book near me and I don’t feel like getting up.

Do you own anything that is made of metal and pink? Not that I can think of.

Is there laundry in your dryer right now? *shrug*

Would you eat a hissing beetle for $1000? Noooooo.

If you had to spend a year studying an animal in the wild, what animal? Let’s just pretend that I’m an outdoorsy, nature kind of person who would actually enjoy something like that, okay? Okay. In that hypothetical scenario, I would choose to study giraffes!

What is your all time favorite recipe? I don’t cook.

What’s the first thing you think of when you smell strawberries? Strawberry milkshake.

What’s the nearest thing to your right that starts with an L? Lights. I have lights strung around my headboard. Are there any bells in your house? No.

What’s your favorite informercial? I don’t have a favorite informercial.

Ever been to AsSeenOnTv.com? Nope. I’ve seen the products in stores, though.

If you could have a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Hmm. Just give me cash so I could do other things with it.

Where’s the best place to register for a wedding? I don’t know.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found on the beach? I’ve never found anything weird on a beach. <<< Me either.

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? No.

Can you watch a birthing video all the way through? I couldn’t get through the birthing video they showed in 8th grade. I’m sorry, but the act of giving birth isn’t beautiful to me. lol. I’m too squeamish.

What would be your act in a talent show? I wouldn’t be in a talent show cause I have no talent.

What channel is on channel 37 on your tv? No channel 37.

What’s the last thing you wrote? By hand it was my signature.

Do you have a community mailbox or an individual one? A community one.

How many keys are on your key ring? Three.

What was your first myspace song ever? Oh man, I have no idea. That was so long ago.

Besides mama and dada, what was your first real word? I don’t know.

Would you rather be stuck in the desert or in a blizzard? Ahhh. Both sound absolutely horrible, I don’t know? I wouldn’t survive either one.

What dessert do you hate? I don’t like pie or jello.

What candy factory would you love to work at? I wouldn’t, honestly. Not like a big candy person.

What does an envelope taste like to you? Like paper and grossness.

What’s your favorite line in your favorite movie? That’s a tough one cause first of all, I don’t know what I would choose as my favorite movie. I have many.

Have you ever gone to the bathroom outdoors? No.

Would you help a baby cougar w/ the risk of the mama attacking you? Yikes, no! I hope to never be that close to one. I am not about to be in their territory and be killed.

What international monument would you like to visit the most? Hmm.

Have you decided where you want to get married? I don’t know if I want to get married. I can’t imagine it ever happening.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten in a sandwich? I don’t really consider it that strange, but I used to put chips in my sandwich. Otherwise, my sandwiches are pretty normal.

What’s the most exotic thing you’ve eaten? I’m so picky and not adventurous at all with trying new and exotic foods.

Is there a crime/criminal that intrigues you the most? Not particularly.

What Disney prince/character do you think is the cutest? Disney characters are cute, how could I choose?

Can you name some of the clever names of OPI nail polish? Nah.

Can you sing the entire theme song to any show? Yes, to quite a few.

Did you ever get ‘the talk’ from either one of your parents? Yeah.

Do you remember drinking from a bottle? Kind of.

What’s in the third drawer of your dresser? Pants.

What do you keep in the little pocket of your purse? My pill container.

When people ask for ID, which ID do you use? The only ID I have.

Who was the first person you knew who’s name started with a P? I don’t know?

What’s the last form you filled out online? Hmm. It’s been awhile, I’m not sure.

How many times have you had to renew/change your driver’s license? I don’t drive.

Have you ever been given a bouquet of carnations? No.

Do you have an old computer that just sits at the house? Nope.

Do you read the lyrics in the CD sleeve while listening to the song? Back when I still used CDs, yes, I loved doing that. <<< Saaame.

Name something you made out of play-doh when you were younger. I think I had some accessories to make shapes and things with. Not sure otherwise. Random stuff, probably.

What’s your next appointment for? My pain specialist appointment.

When’s the last time you put glitter on something? I have no idea. Glitter is so messy and you find it  e v e r y w h e r e.

What’s the worst birthday gift you received as a child? I didn’t receive any bad gifts.

Do you go into the gas station or stay by your car when pumping gas? I don’t drive, so.

When’s the last time you sat on Santa’s lap? When I was a kid.

What’s your favorite kind of caramel apple? I don’t like ‘em.

Would you rather wrestle crocodiles or anacondas? Uh, neither....

Did you sneeze last night? I don’t think so.

Do you hold the remote while watching tv or set it down? I set it down.

Have you ever done farm chores like milk a cow or shave a sheep? Nope.

When’s the last time you used a coupon? I’m not sure.

Does your mom know what size clothes you wear now? Yes.

Is Love written anywhere in the room you’re in? Yes. There’s also two things that say, “I <3 [insert thing here]” here, so that kinda counts.

What’s the nearest sports equipment to you? None.

Have you ever glued your fingers or hands together? I used to do the thing where you put glue on your hand and let it dry so that you can peel it off.

Do you think that they should bring the guillotine back? Nope.

If you could invent anything to make life easier, what would it be? Teleportation. <– Saaaaame. I’d abuse the hell out of it, but still. <<<< Ha, same.

Would you like to run in a giant hamster ball for humans? I’ve seen those big ball things you get inside of and can do that. That would not be good for claustrophobia; though, so for me no thanks.

What were that last kind of nuts you ate? Cashews.

Do you own any shirts with political or social statements on them? No.

Do you remember what your 2nd grade teacher’s first name was? I do. Her first name was the same as mine.

Have you ever played Twister & had someone’s butt in your face? No lol.

What was the last thing you cheated on? Nothing.

When was the last time you used a walkie talkie? I have no idea.

Where do you usually go camping? I don’t go camping. Nooo thank you.

Who do you sleep with when you go camping? -

Ever been afraid to see a ghost in your rearview mirror when driving alone? Well thanks for putting that image in my head.

Have you ever dated anyone whose name started with B? No.

If yes, was it a good experience? -

Do you remember what Doug Funnie’s dog’s name was? Porkchop.

What is your favorite episode of The Brady Bunch? I don’t really have a particular favorite episode, but I do like to watch it.

Name a line from a Spice Girls song. “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends.”

Have you ever jumped into a pile of leaves? No.

What does your swimsuit look like? I don’t own one.

Do you like it fast or slow? I wouldn’t know.

What’s the last holiday candy you consumed? An Easter bunny chocolate.

What’s the last thing you bought at a grocery store? Creamer, a personal size cake, and muffins.

Have you ever done a backflip on a giant trampoline? No.

Do you believe that there is only ONE person out there for everybody? I don’t think so.

Do you prefer flowers or chocolate? How ‘bout donuts or coffee?

Do you remember the first time you used a computer? Yes.

Do you remember the first computer game you ever played? Some educational game.

Does your Wii character ever look like you? It did at the time I made it.

What’s the last sour thing you put in your mouth? I don’t like sour stuff.

Do you remember anything from before you were 3? No.

Do you believe in hypnosis? No.

Do you reserve pages in the yearbook for certain people? I didn’t do that.

Ever had a fantasy about a teacher? No.

What’s the most humiliating outfit your parent made you wear? Nothing, thankfully.

Did you ever want to change religions? No.

Is it hard for you to fall asleep when you have had a lot of sugar? No.

What’s your favorite thing to eat with strawberries? Chocolate. Or with bananas in a smoothie.

How do you eat a Reese’s Peanut butter Cup? I just eat them.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing. They’re not that great.

What’s the funniest bumper sticker you’ve ever seen? *shrug*

Ever been up in the mountains? Yes.

When’s the first time you ever touched snow? I think I was like... 12?

What color is your computer desk? I don’t have one. I keep my laptop on my bed.

Are you baptized? I am not.

What did you dream of last night? I don’t recall.

Have you ever eaten an exotic animal? No.

What do you think is the funniest movie of all time? That’s a tough one. I suck at choosing favorites or the “iest” of something.

Name a line from that movie? --

Would you be surprised if you found out your mom had tattoos? She does have one.

Would you wear a leather dog collar for free drinks? I don’t drink, so nah.

When was the last time you danced the Macarena? It’s been a long time. 

Can you sing your school’s song? I’m no longer in school.

What was your all time favorite subject in elementary school? English.

What’s the last song you sang out loud in the car? I don’t remember.

Who is the last person you talked to whose name started with a G? One of my nurses, Gloria.

Have you ever bedazzled anything? No.

Have you ever bought anything off of HSN or QVC? Nope. Where do you keep your cash? In the bank.

Do you fold laundry while watching tv? I don’t fold laundry. I’m so bad. My clothes just get piled up on my bed.

When’s the last time you used a protractor? Not since high school.

When’s the last time you used a Victoria’s Secret product? It’s been years.

Can you name the kids from the Cosby Show? Denise, Theo, Rudy, Olivia. That’s all I got. Is there more?

What’s your favorite show on Nick At Nite? George Lopez.

Have you ever made a rubber band ball? No.

What zodiac sign do you find to be the most interesting? --

Would you ever see a psychic? No.

When’s the last time you had cotton candy? It’s been a long time.

Where is your younger sibling? He’s asleep.

What’s the last thing you ordered at a Mexican restaurant? A bean burrito with rice, cheese, sour cream, and guacamole with gravy dip on the side to dip it in. My favorite.

Do you have an ant problem in the summer? Every now and then, but nothing too bad.

Do you tan outside or in a booth? I may get a tan if I actually spend enough time outside, which is rare.

Do you still use scrunchies? No.

Have you ever met someone for the 1st time that seemed so familiar? I don’t think so.

What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? Zero.

Do you keep anything in files? Yes, on my laptop.

Do you have special ringtones for different people? No. I used to do that back in the day.

How do you eat your steak? I don’t.

Is your birthmark shaped like anything? No.

Can you put on mascara with your mouth closed? Yes.

Have you ever worn men’s underwear? No.

Do you own anything that’s fuzzy and purple? Nope.

When’s the last time you were kissed on the cheek? I don’t know.

Do you play with pogs? No.

What wild animal would you like as a pet? I get the feeling that the survey maker has a thing for wild life.

When’s the last time someone hung up on you? I don’t know.

Have you eaten an entire pizza by yourself? Personal size ones.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree? I’ve never even been in a tree in the first place. <<<

Did you read the Babysitters Club book series? I did.

How about Goosebumps? I read the choose-your-own adventure ones, because they were in the waiting room at the karate school my family went to. <<<< I loved those kinds of books. Also, yes I did read Goosebumps. They were my fave.

Ever worn a flower in your hair? Yes.

What kind of car did your parents have while you were growing up? My mom had a van and my dad had a Honda.

Do you ever wish your birthday was on a different day? I wish it were in the fall.

Do you sunburn easily? I do now it seems.

Have you read the Twilight series? Yes.

Why couldn’t you go to sleep the last time you were up all night? Anxiety.

What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Any of the tiny yappy ones. <<< lol same.

What would you name your first born son? I don’t know if I want kids.

Do you cook anything you don’t like eating? No?

Do you watch any reality shows on MTV or VH1? I do. I watch too much reality TV.

Would you have a better chance of surviving in the Sahara or Alaska? You kinda asked this already.

When’s the last time you pet a cat? I think like 2 years ago.

Do you remember Eureka’s Castle on Nick JR? I do.

What would you say is Paris Hilton’s occupation? I don’t know, really.

Are you wearing a necklace? Nope.

Do you have any noticeable moles or birthmarks? Yes to both.

Count to ten in another language. Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez.

Do you feel uncomfortable telling friends they have boogers in their nose? Yes. :X Same if they have something in their teeth. But I know it’d be more embarrassing for them if I didn’t say anything, but for some reason I feel awkward having to someone that.   What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? My 6th grade teacher put a condom on a banana.

What’s the first instrument you ever played? Piano.

What’s the last thing you wore around your neck? A necklace.

[chvrchesrp]

Welcome to CHVRCHES’ fifth event!

This event is our second missive event, which means a little bit of what happens tonight will be assigned to your muse. This event is a finale of the “Pestilence Chapter” and will be served to you in two parts. For the first part, your muse has been assigned a specific thread topic to explore. It’s up to you to delve into the interaction! 

For now, we ask that for this night, you explore just this assigned thread—and not to make more threads during the time of the Escape Room. (There’s more to be revealed; after Part 2 drops, you can make your own independent threads.) You can, however, make threads and starters before the clock starts at your Escape Room location if you wish.

The date stamp for the event is Thursday, January 26th, for timeline purposes (though you aren’t restricted to beginning threads tomorrow, of course, you can even begin them today). Assignments are considered game canon, whether or not you explore them deeply. If you have an issue with an assignment, let an Admin know! For after, please do not write past January 26th for any thread yet—the drop of Part 2 might affect your muse’s future outlook. 

Escape Rooms are a beloved past time for adrenaline junkies, gamers, team-builders, and competitive folks of all sorts. The premise is that you are shown to a room and then locked inside of it; within are a series of puzzles you have to figure out as a team in order to get released from the room. You must do this within one hour or your team fails the room. (You’re released, but you fail and take a shameful photo - you are the weakest link, goodbye.)

Escape Rooms are meant to foster trust, connection, cooperation, and critical thinking. Meant to.

ROOM ONE: MURDER MYSTERY INC.

“Love is clockworks, and it's cold steel, fingers too numb to feel, squeeze the handle, blow out the candle—blindness.”

After arriving at the Escape Room headquarters, you are ushered into a sleek black limousine; you are asked to put all of your cellphones in a velvet black bag, which will be returned to you at the end. After the 8 people in your party are all settled in, 1920s music filters through the stereo system, grainy and warbled and nostalgic. A champagne aperitif is offered to you, if you dare to drink it. The car smells of polished leather and money—the actual scent of money, as if a great amount of it had been there recently.

You are driven for about fifteen minutes: do you drink? do you laugh? do you speak? Suddenly, the car screeches to a halt, hitting the breaks hard. The lights in the limo go dark and the music stops playing. And then one by one, each of you is led from the limousine. When it’s your turn to exit the limo, you step outside and find a dark bag placed immediately over your head and your hands bound in front by lead-rope: and you are led, stepping on concrete toward somewhere else. You hear door open, and you are pushed inside, then your hands unbound. You can remove the bag from your head.

The rest of your team is there. As your eyes adjust to the dim lighting, you can see a room dazzled with 1920s opulence. There is even a chandelier hanging over a running fountain—it’s ridiculous in its mockery, it’s entreatment. You find there is a stranger in your midst: a ninth person, who welcomes you to his humble home. Then, the lights flash, and he screams, and the actor lies on the floor, ‘dead,’ the echo of a gunshot hanging in the air like a question mark as blood pools around him.

The clock starts and you must all discover who has ‘killed’ your generous host—before that person ‘kills’ you for witnessing! Search the room, leave no painting hung, no chair upright, no drawer unopened—

Assignments:

Shibah/Donato: Shibah naturally begins by observing the paintings on the wall—they seem out of place for a 1920s theme. She identifies them as The Triptych of the Temptation of St. Anthony, but realizes they are out of order. Near by, Donato has found a small lock that requires a 3-number code to open a drawer in a stately foyer desk. They must work together to crack the code—inadvertently drawing them into a required long-awaited reunion neither of them would prefer to have right now. Conflict emerges and it isn’t long before the two are full of rage and angst.

Belial/Babylon: Babylon notices eggs hiding all around the room—golden-painted eggs, silver-painted eggs, rhinestone-covered eggs. Collecting a few, she realizes by shaking them that there might be something inside, so she breaks them open, revealing the following strands of paper:

without one friend, alone

I cannot come down

world without end. Below me

young lovers Tread the sweet ground—

in my purity

But I am God—

Belial is studying the book case, noticing that among the many authors there, almost all of the books look faded and worn except one, which peeks out slightly. It’s marked as a book of poems. Perhaps if they can determine which poem Babylon found, they could find another clue on its page. That is, if they could cooperate—it seems Babylon hasn’t yet had the opportunity to confront Belial for “damaging” Dom. Belial engages in her argument, but has no trouble reminding her that he’s her boss.

Maria/Isadora: Maria turns over a heavy, ornate sitting chair to find that the base of the seat is hollow and that there is a latch she can undo; she finds a series of love letters from the now-deceased host to a woman named Chanterelle, who appears to have been a singer at a jazz club. For all of the letters, there are no post marks, no envelopes. Were they never sent? Some random letters are in all caps, and if she arranges them in order of date written, it spells out:  C H E C K T H E D R A I N. Maria shouts to Isadora, who has been studying the fountain. Isadora is less than interested in helping Maria, but for the sake of the task waves Maria over when she realizes there’s a key in the drain of one of the shallow trays. They have to figure out how to get it—but Isadora can’t help letting drop that she knows the cure exists.

Raziel/Cassiel: Cassiel finds a piece of old film in a jewelry dish that has a few frames, seeing what appears to be a woman singing at her own wedding. The man she marries is not the now-deceased host. She wonders what it could mean, but Raziel swoops in with a film reel he found taped under the desk that holds Donato’s drawer. Raziel and Cassiel must splice together the footage to discover the ‘end’ of the story—except Cassiel doesn’t even think Raziel can do that right, so how can he possibly do anything in Heaven right? Raziel obviously spats back, saying Shibah has been absent and done nothing to earn the throne. That if she wants to be God so badly, she should act like it.

ROOM TWO: JEKYLL AND HYDE.

“Say hello to something scary, the monster in your bed, just give in and you won’t be sorry, welcome to my other side.”

After arriving at the Escape Room headquarters, you are shown through a door marked Authorized Personnel Only. Your party winds down a sterile looking white concrete hall, fluorescent panel lights above, flickering. Your shoes squeak and squick as you walk; even the floors seem too clean. You even feel a weird urge to not touch the walls. At the end of the hall is another door with the glass of its window frosted over: you’re shown through that, too. On the other side is the outdoors, actually: you can see a dirt driveway with haphazard gravel and unkempt, half-brown grasses. Lined up are 3 stately town cars, each pristine and white, freshly washed.

Each town car has a driver with white gloves, opening the door for your party. Three folks in the first two, two in the last. The car door is shut behind you and, as the engines revv to life, the windows of the car and a divider between you and the driver goes up—pitch black and opaque. You can no longer see where you’re going, but you’re comfortable enough. In what feels like forever—or is it only ten minutes?—you finally park and the car doors open. So rushed you can barely take in the outside, you are brought into what looks like a small house, and then down a flight of stairs. Your party is put into what would be a basement, the door behind you locked.

The basement itself is hardly grotesque: rather, it, too, is very stately. It looks instead like an office. There is a heavy oak desk with a green lamp and a laptop on it, an expensive throw rug, an assortment of pads and papers, a pad for prescriptions. Chairs opposite it, as if to invite guests or consultations. Locked pristine white metal medicine cabinets, a wall with shelves of scientific books, specimen jars carefully arranged and labeled. The floor is interesting: under the rug, there is a pattern of alternating colour tiles, grey and white, almost resembling a checkerboard.

The clock starts and you must figure out how to escape the basement, or else be charged for trespassing on Dr. Jekyll’s property! Search the room, leave no cabinet locked, no rug arranged, no jar unturned—

Assignments:

Abaddon/Olivia: In an almost metaphor moment, Abaddon discovers that the tall Grandfather clock in the room has no hands. Even this broken clock can’t be right twice a day—and she’s running out of time. In a fit dissonance, she overturns the clock and breaks it. From the loudspeaker comes one of the managers: “Please do not break any items in the room that do not easily break themselves.” Abaddon curses under her breath: seemed easily broken to her. Olivia, by a cabinet requiring a 4-number code lock, tries to distract Abaddon into helping, thinking maybe the clock and the nearby cabinet are related. How could the clock help solve the code? To tempt Abaddon into being helpful, Olivia tries to create a rapport, and soon the two enter into a muffled, whispered conversation about trading secrets as they try different number combinations. Olivia reveals to Abaddon that she thinks she might really be possessed this time—Abaddon gives her secret: back in August, during the chaos, she ripped off Gabriel’s wings without authorization.

Kiara/Jairus: Jairus has gone to studying the laptop; when he touched the trackpad, the computer asks for a Password. He types in a few attempts, but nothing comes of it; in fact, he has one try left before the computer gets entirely locked. Kiara notices his struggle and comes over to brainstorm and observe: she notices the keyboard, which seems unusual. After studying it a moment, she realizes she must have the Password—but can’t help jabbing Jairus over it. She, a young girl, figured out the answer when a hundreds-year-old man couldn’t. It sounds shakily familiar to their current situation... as she wryly types in the password that unlocks the computer (can you figure it out?), she throws out how hard it must be to have a young girl finding easy answers to all of his problems: the cure and the password both. How long can Jairus keep his calm when she’s hitting his rawest nerves?

Adele/Crowley: Adele is studying the book case, trying to see if anything seems particularly out of place. After shuffling through some of the books, she finds no discerning markers, no torn pages, no handwriting, nothing dog-eared. She puts each book back and tries for another: methodical, thorough. Crowley sees her doing this and laughs at her. Crowley does not like a sheep who bends over backwards, who does things as expected, so she proceeds to throw barbs at Adele as she looks. Adele is not really sure how to deal with someone not liking her, even every demon and sinner she has ever met does. Adele quips back that at least she’s trying—to help, to solve the puzzle, anything, trying—and all Crowley does is nothing. Glowering, Crowley leans on the bookcase as they argue... only to find the bookcase moves. Swinging open the book case like a door, another, heavier door is revealed—but there seems NO visible way to open it.

Elijah/Ethan: Elijah is studying the small, framed medical diagrams on the wall. He sees there are four and wonders if the order of them might be some kind of code or combination—each one is labeled strangely: H7, A4, D5, E2. He can’t seem to locate anything that might use and 8-digit code—none of the drawers have locks or combinations, none of the locked cabinets need that many. He shouts to the room for help, thinking he has something, just not sure what. Ethan—used to working for what he gets—isn’t adverse to helping. But when he starts, Elijah just sits back and watches, waiting. It starts a contentious argument between them, where Ethan says that all Elijah wants is an easy life of fame and hasn’t worked for anything in his life—and Elijah gets defensive and says he doesn’t know him. Meanwhile, Ethan does figure out that removing the throw rug reveals the floor—which looks just like a chess board. The edges are even marked 1-8 and A-H. Maybe if each person in the party stands in one of the designated squares... something will happen.

ROOM THREE: ZOMBIE OUTBREAK.

“Don't know what I'm after but the pressure driving me insane, searching for a different ride, had a funny feeling I can't hide, do the zombie stomp.”

After arriving at the Escape Room headquarters and checking in, you are sent directly right back out the door you came in. Out front is a school bus, yellow and beat-up looking, with spray paint all over it. It says things like “Turn back now!” and “QUARANTINE” and “Don’t open, dead inside.” Of course, you go inside. There’s no driver that you can see, but the thing can’t possibly be automated, so you just sit on the empty bus and wait as the rest of your party shuffles in. After everyone is seated, suddenly, each of you feel hands on your feet, anchoring you to the ground by the ankles—as you look down, a black cloth is placed over your head and zip-tied on. You can breathe, but the effect is obviously jarring and you can’t get it off.

The ride is a bumpy one, but any childhood notions of yelling ‘drive it off a cliff’ or similar to increase the ‘fun’ bumps of the ride have all but left your mind. You keep reminding yourself that of course, none of this is real, and maybe you even think some of it is hokey, but it’s hard not to get caught up as your body’s natural response is already flooding your mind with adrenaline and other survival neurochemicals. The bus slows to a snail’s pace, almost to the point where you think you’re not moving any more, and then begins to shake left and right, as if trying to be toppled over by forces you can’t see. Slowly, you start to feel tipped, and then suddenly righted, jarring. There’s a sound of the zip-ties being clipped off. Immediately, you take off your bag.

When you can see, the lights on the bus are all flickering, but you see no people except those in your party—no driver, no one to have tied the bags, no one to have held the feet, no one to have jostled your bus. You all get out, a little worse for wear, and head to what looks like a small warehouse. Entering, it’s all one room. You get to look around for about 3 minutes with the warehouse door still open. There’s an actor on the floor with his ‘guts’ ripped out, fake blood pouring from his entrails, appearing dead, a chain attaching him to the wall. There are 2 other, empty chains. There are 4 flashlights in various places in the room—4 too few. As you start to dart for the nearest one, the door slams behind you and locks and all of the lights go out. You’re in total darkness.

The bright, lit-up digital clock starts and you must figure out how to escape the warehouse, or else become zombie food! Search the room, leave no crate unopened, no shelf ignored, no stomach untested—

Assignments: (For clarity, those with flashlights are: Josh, Naomi, Dom, and Zoe.)

Josh/Magda: Magda immediately disregards the flashlight and heads for what she knows has to be a clue: she shoves her hands into the ‘stomach’ of the dead man. Triumphantly, she comes up with a key, but not what it goes to. Josh meets her with a flashlight, just in time for them both to jump back: where there once was an empty chain, now there is a living zombie trying to attack. They back away from the area and advise everyone else to do the same—but the zombie gains more chain (and more range to attack) the longer they’re in the room. Josh searches for something to put the key in among the warehouse crates and calls her reckless—that he should have done that, because if it was real, he’d be safer. She argues she isn’t fragile and has been through a lot herself—even lets drop she’s been sleeping with Crowley. How does that make him feel?

Satan/Naomi: Naomi, given her history, goes immediately for the flashlight. She starts to examine the shelves and begins to figure out that some boxes are marked with red dots. She starts to collect the boxes of varying sizes; they’re taped so well they can’t be opened by manual strength. Satan sees her struggling and goes to try himself, to the same lack of avail. This, of course, immediately gets under his skin: he can’t be foiled by boxes. Making them an unlikely team, the two bicker constantly as they try to figure out the puzzle—Satan making cruel and degrading remarks, Naomi biting back, but Satan’s blood starts to boil under the surface. By the time they find an empty shelf with red dots marked 1-6, it’s unsure if they can figure out the order without one of them snapping.

Renee/Dom: Renee and Dom both headed for the same flashlight and immediately start fighting. Renee, preferring to retain class and composure, lets him keep the flashlight, but not before she starts artfully picking him apart for his poor attempt to take her Church from her. How does Dom hold up under her acute interrogation? Perhaps in a moment of deflection or denial, Dom finds a lone object out on a crate: a skull, but one of those fake, glittery Halloween ones clearly not meant to resemble a human. It’s overt in its nonconformity, which means it’s a clue. Meanwhile, Renee notices a scale that had a small velvet bag on it—in front, instructions read that removing the bag without placing equal weight will detonate the warehouse. Perhaps they can solve this together, if they can stop tearing each other apart.

Zoe/Noah: Zoe gets one of the flashlights while Noah disregards and immediately gets to searching well away from the zombie. He finds a crate that seems to have a knocking coming from it. A knock sounds once, at even intervals, and figures the crate must mean something. Zoe, feeling the stress of everyone fighting about God and particularly creeped out that she's locked in a small room with Satan, tries to get Noah on her side. It does not go as planned. She flashes light on the box and sees there’s a sheet outlining Morse code. If they can figure out what code to ‘knock’ back to the box, perhaps it will open—if they can focus on the task and stop having an intense debate, that is.

Enjoy, darlings!!

[careergrowthblog]

Teachers describe their worst injury at work

For some reason, when I ask a question about people’s worst experiences I get far more clear answers to the question, alongside complaints about that I have a sinister agenda and demands that teachers be silent.

My latest question was:

What’s the worst injury you’ve suffered while working as a teacher?

I’ve had fewer complaints about this one, although somebody did sarcastically ask why I didn’t ask for people’s best injury. I’ve ignored the many responses where people discussed damage that was only to their pride, credibility or dreams. I haven’t included discussion of mental health as that’s been covered in previous posts. Also most (but not all) of the people telling me about their paper cuts have been left out. As ever, I followed up the more suspicious ones, but may still have been fooled. The thread can be found here.

I shot myself in the arm… though it wasn’t with a firearm. With the top of an exploding 2 L[itre] bottle. Lab coat had the bloodstains to prove it. I was utterly, utterly mind-bendingly stupid and learned a very great deal in about a third of a second

30 mini whiteboards fell out of cupboard onto my head – 1 at a time – 4 hrs in A&E and head glued back together – very painful … my fault for not putting them away properly

Caught a ring on a door handle and it cut into my finger so deeply it needed to be cut off by a mechanic at the garage across the road.

Paper cut… on my eyeball. Child did it by accident. It was horrific! Needed anaesthetic drops for a few days.

Basketball hit me full in the mouth…whilst I had a whistle in it…lost two teeth. The cost of getting them replaced was the real shock of the whole ordeal. My savings took as much damage as my mouth did.

Last Friday of this half-term – college laptop trolly rolled into my 2 biggest toes on left foot. Same foot as plantar fasciitis & Achilles tendinitis issues. I didn’t use the ‘f’ word as student was with me.

Hypermobility + a few months of sitting on tiny children’s chairs caused lower-back go into semi-permanent spasm. Had to ask for adult chair Policy was for child-centred classrooms with no adult desk or chairs- teachers to be ‘working with group or individuals at all times’ Was told ‘If we give a teacher a chair, the problem with that is that they will sit down and not get up from it’ So, the ideal was for T[eacher] to stand or kneel near a table, or sit on a child’s chair, or sit on the floor.

As new H[ead]T[eacher], went to U[pper]K[ey]S[tage]2 Xmas party, vaulted over bench to leave hall and removed 4 square inches of skin from bald head on door frame. Was away at a meeting with the L.A. the next day, by the evening local rumours were that I was in hospital with head injuries

1) Staple in my finger. 2) Banged my knee a few times.3) Catching my arm on door handles.4) Heart attack.5) Trapping my finger in a drawer.

1) got tangled in cables like a giant fly in a spider web 2) slipped down a muddy slope in front of the entire school while on bus duty. Massive bruising and huge embarrassment both times. Although a kind Year 11 helped me up out of the mud & didn’t laugh while the other 1499 students pissed themselves.

nearly lost my left hand in a horrendous accident on school trip! 10 ops later it’s as good as it will be. there’s the proof. …had hold of the seat in front as the coach rolled and then slid down m6… window broke…. Had to have it stitched into my stomach for 4 weeks for a flap to cover I know even I gulped when the doc suggested it! I was a ‘little teapot for a month.  it was a nightmare!! They needed the blood vessels to join… 9 hour op too! I should add the NUT were fab … Their solicitor was superb

Slipped a disc lifting student into water ambulance during school trip to Venice. Contracted TB (possibly not at school, but sounds good).

I was hit by falling scaffolding once.

Grade 3 tear of gastrocnemius. Happened on sports day. Exactly coincided with pistol to start 100 m[e]t[re]s. I thought I had been shot. True story.

Broke a burette off in my thumb last year and severed a nerve. Still no feeling in it.

Definitely a student moving chair onto foot whilst sat on it

Concussion- could see children messing around for TA & glared at them-ch[ildre]n stopped- missed footing on last 5 steps…cue pratfall/f[ore]w[ar]d roll

Exhausted by overworking and unreasonable demands, I completely missed a step and fell down stairs. Thought “Didn’t get a degree for this”.

Pulled my back celebrating a spectacular comeback by the Y[ear] 8 football team was coaching back in the day. Took 3 month’s chiropractic to sort.

Missed a step covered in a drift of leaves & fell full length.Usual hilarity from students tempered by fact that I was 8 months pregnant.

Broke a finger attempting to stop a rugby ball from hitting a spectator. Still hit her, but on the back rather than on the head.

Crashed my motorcycle on the way to school. Still got in. My form saw the blood on my leg. Got ambulance. Came back from hospital to teach.

Ruptured my thigh muscle taking a penalty against a year 7 on lunch duty. Went top corner though so not all bad  [this was from my former form tutor, but I’m assuming I’m not implicated as it was “1st year” not “year 7” back then]

Prolapsed disk when the caretaker used the wrong polish on the floor turning it into a skating rink!

Husband snapped achilles tendon, teaching football on astros…

Temporarily blinded as lid came off the copydex mid shake. Shouted “Shit!” loudly which shocked kids more than my eyes covered in glue.

Spine surgery from writing too many schemes of work without good back support. I took on a dept[artment] in 2nd y[ea]r of career, managed all of SLT and there was nothing. Had an op in 2009 and learned a lot about life in that year!

Accidental broken toe. Me vs. heavy box of music stands. Helpful child said ‘you can swear if you like miss – looked like it hurt’. It did.

I scraped my shin and badly injured my pride falling-off a chair balanced on a table, as I put up a display… as a class quietly worked…  and I dislocated my knee in a Staff Vs Parents hockey match.

Almost broke fingers and arm, grassboarding down a slope on y[ea]r 7 activity holiday session!

being bitten. Also having a chair leg land on my foot (sandals

Molten jelly baby flew out of boiling tube onto my hand during open evening demo. I kept smiling

Sort of injury, kidney stones from not drinking enough water during school day. Agony for 2 days. Now I know opioids REALLY work.

slipped on a wet corridor and broke a finger pride also suffered considerable injury. After year 11 stopped convulsing with laughter following my very slapstick slip they did show great concern and sympathy

Sewed through my finger on a sewing machine whilst helping Year 11. Just about managed not to bleed on her coursework!

Ice skating lesson with a school group in 1988 & stuck the rear right boot spike through my left boot. Stab wound & 2 broken bones in foot!

Fractured my arm after falling off a ladder putting Christmas dec[oration]s up or scalded my foot after dropping an urn of hot water.

Electric shocks from various electricity experiments, and falling over and hurting my thumb.

Ran a ski trip to Italy and chair lift bar fell on my head, lots of blood and was taken down the slope in the blood-wagon. Tried to walk through a swing door which was normally well oiled, unfortunately this time it wasn’t and I went head first into the glass!

Stitches in a finger due to a stubborn classroom locker. Expletives were used. Entire Year 4 class were shocked. Hospital swiftly attended.

cracked patella jumping rope with 3rd graders

Mild concussion. Projector screen fell from roof hit me on head.

A bruised backside when I slipped on ice taking Tutor group to Xmas carol service. They kindly picked me up.

Slipped a disc standing up from my chair whilst teaching a PSHE lesson. Needed [other teachers] to carry me away from class!!

Fell off a table whilst putting up a display. Did my knee good and proper

I stapled my finger when putting up a display. Ive also caught thousands of colds (but that’s illness not injury).

My funniest injury at sch[ool]: stapled my fingers together whilst holding a stapler & teaching.

Electric shock off a whiteboard…it certainly made me jump!!

Torn my knee ligaments jumping on a trampoline

During my PGCE I dislocated my shoulder from stopping a pass in a lunchtime basketball game.

Fractured my humerus, two ribs and cut my eyebrow… I fell

Trapped arm in a door while restraining a student (Special needs School) [went to] A&E

Regularly I have bruises mid thigh from walking into tables

I slipped in the dining hall on a sausage and did a strange somersault, a plate crashed to the floor bounced up & and sliced open my cheek

Tripped up stairs on the way to a lesson, laptop went flying, smashed my head on the handrail, knocked myself out, in front of students

Punched in the temple by a y[ear] 8 boy. Headbutted (didn’t connect) by an angry y[ear] 11. Wallet nicked by a y[ear] 11 that I had spent hours supporting.

Lice, scabies and flea bites. All in a days work. Oh yes. And a tub of black powder paint with no lid, fell off a shelf on my head. Scary sight.

Torn [anterior cruciate ligament] in right knee whilst separating two Year 9 boys fighting!

Once thought it good idea to remove OHP bulb immediately after it blew. Fingerprints returned after a few months

I ripped a muscle in my lower back moving a filing cabinet. Had waited for the site agent for 5 days and got tired of waiting.  won’t make the mistake again, will just wait nicely!

Bumped into a table (fixed to the floor). Bruise on my thigh is about 10 cm long, 5 cm high. Done this almost every month, for 20 y[ears].

Broke a tooth on school pitta bread…

Dropped a recycling bin on my foot and lost a toenail.

Got slapped around the face and then kicked twice one morning.

Burnt most of my hand when I didn’t use a long enough fuse for a flash powder demonstration

I fell off my bike in front of the main entrance, causing moderate but prolonged reputational damage.

Put a staple through my finger while putting up a display.

Badly cut knee and ripped suit after attempting to show Y[ear] 6 boys,playing football on the playground, ‘how it’s done’.

Took an “accidentally released” rounders bat to the gentleman’s area. If I wasn’t the recipient it would have been funny.

Partially tore ligaments while mucking about being a wolf in the playground

Tripped on cracked car park tarmac, burst knee wide open. Lots of stitches

I broke my foot at 7am at school on a dodgy paving slab and then walked around on it for the rest of the day before getting an X-ray. I also once dropped molten hot sulfur on my hand while doing a demo,had to teach the rest of my lesson with my hand in a bowl of cold water

Fell 2 steps walking down unlit stairs and twisted ankle. Had an xray and 2 days off work.

Cut my finger open whilst shutting a toilet door I spotted was ajar. Kid in my class provided me with loo roll from his bag that he kept there with a torch in case he needed to go for a poo in the dark! Not sure which event was the weirdest.

Fell off a chair doing a display- Huge bruise black on arm…despite just saying to students always use a chair for its intended purpose!

I broke my ankle in the middle of one of my [physical education] classes.

Broke bone in coccyx. Also got pneumonia from sewage has when basement flooded. Illness rather than injury really.

My eye got cut from a student’s nail when playing basketball with them. Lost a high % of peripheral vision in my right eye.

I’ve suffered a cut lip when a child I was sitting next to shot his hand up a little enthusiastically. Still think he did it on purpose

There have been a couple of reasonably serious injuries in the staff-sixth form football. Not to me though.

Banging my head – It’s not easy being a giant.

[From a school business manager] There was the time I was walking along a corridor & a teacher opened an outward opening door & pole-axed me. They were mortified..

Got punched by a parent, but wasn’t injured, and in retrospect she was probably in the right. Who was I to tell her son to tuck in his shirt?

Shut the filing cabinet in my classroom and trapped my nipple in it. No idea how I managed that..

Teachers describe their worst injury at work published first on http://ift.tt/2uVElOo

[careergrowthblog]

Teachers describe their worst injury at work

For some reason, when I ask a question about people’s worst experiences I get far more clear answers to the question, alongside complaints about that I have a sinister agenda and demands that teachers be silent.

My latest question was:

What’s the worst injury you’ve suffered while working as a teacher?

I’ve had fewer complaints about this one, although somebody did sarcastically ask why I didn’t ask for people’s best injury. I’ve ignored the many responses where people discussed damage that was only to their pride, credibility or dreams. I haven’t included discussion of mental health as that’s been covered in previous posts. Also most (but not all) of the people telling me about their paper cuts have been left out. As ever, I followed up the more suspicious ones, but may still have been fooled. The thread can be found here.

I shot myself in the arm… though it wasn’t with a firearm. With the top of an exploding 2 L[itre] bottle. Lab coat had the bloodstains to prove it. I was utterly, utterly mind-bendingly stupid and learned a very great deal in about a third of a second

30 mini whiteboards fell out of cupboard onto my head – 1 at a time – 4 hrs in A&E and head glued back together – very painful … my fault for not putting them away properly

Caught a ring on a door handle and it cut into my finger so deeply it needed to be cut off by a mechanic at the garage across the road.

Paper cut… on my eyeball. Child did it by accident. It was horrific! Needed anaesthetic drops for a few days.

Basketball hit me full in the mouth…whilst I had a whistle in it…lost two teeth. The cost of getting them replaced was the real shock of the whole ordeal. My savings took as much damage as my mouth did.

Last Friday of this half-term – college laptop trolly rolled into my 2 biggest toes on left foot. Same foot as plantar fasciitis & Achilles tendinitis issues. I didn’t use the ‘f’ word as student was with me.

Hypermobility + a few months of sitting on tiny children’s chairs caused lower-back go into semi-permanent spasm. Had to ask for adult chair Policy was for child-centred classrooms with no adult desk or chairs- teachers to be ‘working with group or individuals at all times’ Was told ‘If we give a teacher a chair, the problem with that is that they will sit down and not get up from it’ So, the ideal was for T[eacher] to stand or kneel near a table, or sit on a child’s chair, or sit on the floor.

As new H[ead]T[eacher], went to U[pper]K[ey]S[tage]2 Xmas party, vaulted over bench to leave hall and removed 4 square inches of skin from bald head on door frame. Was away at a meeting with the L.A. the next day, by the evening local rumours were that I was in hospital with head injuries

1) Staple in my finger. 2) Banged my knee a few times.3) Catching my arm on door handles.4) Heart attack.5) Trapping my finger in a drawer.

1) got tangled in cables like a giant fly in a spider web 2) slipped down a muddy slope in front of the entire school while on bus duty. Massive bruising and huge embarrassment both times. Although a kind Year 11 helped me up out of the mud & didn’t laugh while the other 1499 students pissed themselves.

nearly lost my left hand in a horrendous accident on school trip! 10 ops later it’s as good as it will be. there’s the proof. …had hold of the seat in front as the coach rolled and then slid down m6… window broke…. Had to have it stitched into my stomach for 4 weeks for a flap to cover I know even I gulped when the doc suggested it! I was a ‘little teapot for a month.  it was a nightmare!! They needed the blood vessels to join… 9 hour op too! I should add the NUT were fab … Their solicitor was superb

Slipped a disc lifting student into water ambulance during school trip to Venice. Contracted TB (possibly not at school, but sounds good).

I was hit by falling scaffolding once.

Grade 3 tear of gastrocnemius. Happened on sports day. Exactly coincided with pistol to start 100 m[e]t[re]s. I thought I had been shot. True story.

Broke a burette off in my thumb last year and severed a nerve. Still no feeling in it.

Definitely a student moving chair onto foot whilst sat on it

Concussion- could see children messing around for TA & glared at them-ch[ildre]n stopped- missed footing on last 5 steps…cue pratfall/f[ore]w[ar]d roll

Exhausted by overworking and unreasonable demands, I completely missed a step and fell down stairs. Thought “Didn’t get a degree for this”.

Pulled my back celebrating a spectacular comeback by the Y[ear] 8 football team was coaching back in the day. Took 3 month’s chiropractic to sort.

Missed a step covered in a drift of leaves & fell full length.Usual hilarity from students tempered by fact that I was 8 months pregnant.

Broke a finger attempting to stop a rugby ball from hitting a spectator. Still hit her, but on the back rather than on the head.

Crashed my motorcycle on the way to school. Still got in. My form saw the blood on my leg. Got ambulance. Came back from hospital to teach.

Ruptured my thigh muscle taking a penalty against a year 7 on lunch duty. Went top corner though so not all bad  [this was from my former form tutor, but I’m assuming I’m not implicated as it was “1st year” not “year 7” back then]

Prolapsed disk when the caretaker used the wrong polish on the floor turning it into a skating rink!

Husband snapped achilles tendon, teaching football on astros…

Temporarily blinded as lid came off the copydex mid shake. Shouted “Shit!” loudly which shocked kids more than my eyes covered in glue.

Spine surgery from writing too many schemes of work without good back support. I took on a dept[artment] in 2nd y[ea]r of career, managed all of SLT and there was nothing. Had an op in 2009 and learned a lot about life in that year!

Accidental broken toe. Me vs. heavy box of music stands. Helpful child said ‘you can swear if you like miss – looked like it hurt’. It did.

I scraped my shin and badly injured my pride falling-off a chair balanced on a table, as I put up a display… as a class quietly worked…  and I dislocated my knee in a Staff Vs Parents hockey match.

Almost broke fingers and arm, grassboarding down a slope on y[ea]r 7 activity holiday session!

being bitten. Also having a chair leg land on my foot (sandals

Molten jelly baby flew out of boiling tube onto my hand during open evening demo. I kept smiling

Sort of injury, kidney stones from not drinking enough water during school day. Agony for 2 days. Now I know opioids REALLY work.

slipped on a wet corridor and broke a finger pride also suffered considerable injury. After year 11 stopped convulsing with laughter following my very slapstick slip they did show great concern and sympathy

Sewed through my finger on a sewing machine whilst helping Year 11. Just about managed not to bleed on her coursework!

Ice skating lesson with a school group in 1988 & stuck the rear right boot spike through my left boot. Stab wound & 2 broken bones in foot!

Fractured my arm after falling off a ladder putting Christmas dec[oration]s up or scalded my foot after dropping an urn of hot water.

Electric shocks from various electricity experiments, and falling over and hurting my thumb.

Ran a ski trip to Italy and chair lift bar fell on my head, lots of blood and was taken down the slope in the blood-wagon. Tried to walk through a swing door which was normally well oiled, unfortunately this time it wasn’t and I went head first into the glass!

Stitches in a finger due to a stubborn classroom locker. Expletives were used. Entire Year 4 class were shocked. Hospital swiftly attended.

cracked patella jumping rope with 3rd graders

Mild concussion. Projector screen fell from roof hit me on head.

A bruised backside when I slipped on ice taking Tutor group to Xmas carol service. They kindly picked me up.

Slipped a disc standing up from my chair whilst teaching a PSHE lesson. Needed [other teachers] to carry me away from class!!

Fell off a table whilst putting up a display. Did my knee good and proper

I stapled my finger when putting up a display. Ive also caught thousands of colds (but that’s illness not injury).

My funniest injury at sch[ool]: stapled my fingers together whilst holding a stapler & teaching.

Electric shock off a whiteboard…it certainly made me jump!!

Torn my knee ligaments jumping on a trampoline

During my PGCE I dislocated my shoulder from stopping a pass in a lunchtime basketball game.

Fractured my humerus, two ribs and cut my eyebrow… I fell

Trapped arm in a door while restraining a student (Special needs School) [went to] A&E

Regularly I have bruises mid thigh from walking into tables

I slipped in the dining hall on a sausage and did a strange somersault, a plate crashed to the floor bounced up & and sliced open my cheek

Tripped up stairs on the way to a lesson, laptop went flying, smashed my head on the handrail, knocked myself out, in front of students

Punched in the temple by a y[ear] 8 boy. Headbutted (didn’t connect) by an angry y[ear] 11. Wallet nicked by a y[ear] 11 that I had spent hours supporting.

Lice, scabies and flea bites. All in a days work. Oh yes. And a tub of black powder paint with no lid, fell off a shelf on my head. Scary sight.

Torn [anterior cruciate ligament] in right knee whilst separating two Year 9 boys fighting!

Once thought it good idea to remove OHP bulb immediately after it blew. Fingerprints returned after a few months

I ripped a muscle in my lower back moving a filing cabinet. Had waited for the site agent for 5 days and got tired of waiting.  won’t make the mistake again, will just wait nicely!

Bumped into a table (fixed to the floor). Bruise on my thigh is about 10 cm long, 5 cm high. Done this almost every month, for 20 y[ears].

Broke a tooth on school pitta bread…

Dropped a recycling bin on my foot and lost a toenail.

Got slapped around the face and then kicked twice one morning.

Burnt most of my hand when I didn’t use a long enough fuse for a flash powder demonstration

I fell off my bike in front of the main entrance, causing moderate but prolonged reputational damage.

Put a staple through my finger while putting up a display.

Badly cut knee and ripped suit after attempting to show Y[ear] 6 boys,playing football on the playground, ‘how it’s done’.

Took an “accidentally released” rounders bat to the gentleman’s area. If I wasn’t the recipient it would have been funny.

Partially tore ligaments while mucking about being a wolf in the playground

Tripped on cracked car park tarmac, burst knee wide open. Lots of stitches

I broke my foot at 7am at school on a dodgy paving slab and then walked around on it for the rest of the day before getting an X-ray. I also once dropped molten hot sulfur on my hand while doing a demo,had to teach the rest of my lesson with my hand in a bowl of cold water

Fell 2 steps walking down unlit stairs and twisted ankle. Had an xray and 2 days off work.

Cut my finger open whilst shutting a toilet door I spotted was ajar. Kid in my class provided me with loo roll from his bag that he kept there with a torch in case he needed to go for a poo in the dark! Not sure which event was the weirdest.

Fell off a chair doing a display- Huge bruise black on arm…despite just saying to students always use a chair for its intended purpose!

I broke my ankle in the middle of one of my [physical education] classes.

Broke bone in coccyx. Also got pneumonia from sewage has when basement flooded. Illness rather than injury really.

My eye got cut from a student’s nail when playing basketball with them. Lost a high % of peripheral vision in my right eye.

I’ve suffered a cut lip when a child I was sitting next to shot his hand up a little enthusiastically. Still think he did it on purpose

There have been a couple of reasonably serious injuries in the staff-sixth form football. Not to me though.

Banging my head – It’s not easy being a giant.

[From a school business manager] There was the time I was walking along a corridor & a teacher opened an outward opening door & pole-axed me. They were mortified..

Got punched by a parent, but wasn’t injured, and in retrospect she was probably in the right. Who was I to tell her son to tuck in his shirt?

Shut the filing cabinet in my classroom and trapped my nipple in it. No idea how I managed that..

Teachers describe their worst injury at work published first on http://ift.tt/2uVElOo

[careergrowthblog]

Teachers describe their worst injury at work

For some reason, when I ask a question about people’s worst experiences I get far more clear answers to the question, alongside complaints about that I have a sinister agenda and demands that teachers be silent.

My latest question was:

What’s the worst injury you’ve suffered while working as a teacher?

I’ve had fewer complaints about this one, although somebody did sarcastically ask why I didn’t ask for people’s best injury. I’ve ignored the many responses where people discussed damage that was only to their pride, credibility or dreams. I haven’t included discussion of mental health as that’s been covered in previous posts. Also most (but not all) of the people telling me about their paper cuts have been left out. As ever, I followed up the more suspicious ones, but may still have been fooled. The thread can be found here.

I shot myself in the arm… though it wasn’t with a firearm. With the top of an exploding 2 L[itre] bottle. Lab coat had the bloodstains to prove it. I was utterly, utterly mind-bendingly stupid and learned a very great deal in about a third of a second

30 mini whiteboards fell out of cupboard onto my head – 1 at a time – 4 hrs in A&E and head glued back together – very painful … my fault for not putting them away properly

Caught a ring on a door handle and it cut into my finger so deeply it needed to be cut off by a mechanic at the garage across the road.

Paper cut… on my eyeball. Child did it by accident. It was horrific! Needed anaesthetic drops for a few days.

Basketball hit me full in the mouth…whilst I had a whistle in it…lost two teeth. The cost of getting them replaced was the real shock of the whole ordeal. My savings took as much damage as my mouth did.

Last Friday of this half-term – college laptop trolly rolled into my 2 biggest toes on left foot. Same foot as plantar fasciitis & Achilles tendinitis issues. I didn’t use the ‘f’ word as student was with me.

Hypermobility + a few months of sitting on tiny children’s chairs caused lower-back go into semi-permanent spasm. Had to ask for adult chair Policy was for child-centred classrooms with no adult desk or chairs- teachers to be ‘working with group or individuals at all times’ Was told ‘If we give a teacher a chair, the problem with that is that they will sit down and not get up from it’ So, the ideal was for T[eacher] to stand or kneel near a table, or sit on a child’s chair, or sit on the floor.

As new H[ead]T[eacher], went to U[pper]K[ey]S[tage]2 Xmas party, vaulted over bench to leave hall and removed 4 square inches of skin from bald head on door frame. Was away at a meeting with the L.A. the next day, by the evening local rumours were that I was in hospital with head injuries

1) Staple in my finger. 2) Banged my knee a few times.3) Catching my arm on door handles.4) Heart attack.5) Trapping my finger in a drawer.

1) got tangled in cables like a giant fly in a spider web 2) slipped down a muddy slope in front of the entire school while on bus duty. Massive bruising and huge embarrassment both times. Although a kind Year 11 helped me up out of the mud & didn’t laugh while the other 1499 students pissed themselves.

nearly lost my left hand in a horrendous accident on school trip! 10 ops later it’s as good as it will be. there’s the proof. …had hold of the seat in front as the coach rolled and then slid down m6… window broke…. Had to have it stitched into my stomach for 4 weeks for a flap to cover I know even I gulped when the doc suggested it! I was a ‘little teapot for a month.  it was a nightmare!! They needed the blood vessels to join… 9 hour op too! I should add the NUT were fab … Their solicitor was superb

Slipped a disc lifting student into water ambulance during school trip to Venice. Contracted TB (possibly not at school, but sounds good).

I was hit by falling scaffolding once.

Grade 3 tear of gastrocnemius. Happened on sports day. Exactly coincided with pistol to start 100 m[e]t[re]s. I thought I had been shot. True story.

Broke a burette off in my thumb last year and severed a nerve. Still no feeling in it.

Definitely a student moving chair onto foot whilst sat on it

Concussion- could see children messing around for TA & glared at them-ch[ildre]n stopped- missed footing on last 5 steps…cue pratfall/f[ore]w[ar]d roll

Exhausted by overworking and unreasonable demands, I completely missed a step and fell down stairs. Thought “Didn’t get a degree for this”.

Pulled my back celebrating a spectacular comeback by the Y[ear] 8 football team was coaching back in the day. Took 3 month’s chiropractic to sort.

Missed a step covered in a drift of leaves & fell full length.Usual hilarity from students tempered by fact that I was 8 months pregnant.

Broke a finger attempting to stop a rugby ball from hitting a spectator. Still hit her, but on the back rather than on the head.

Crashed my motorcycle on the way to school. Still got in. My form saw the blood on my leg. Got ambulance. Came back from hospital to teach.

Ruptured my thigh muscle taking a penalty against a year 7 on lunch duty. Went top corner though so not all bad  [this was from my former form tutor, but I’m assuming I’m not implicated as it was “1st year” not “year 7” back then]

Prolapsed disk when the caretaker used the wrong polish on the floor turning it into a skating rink!

Husband snapped achilles tendon, teaching football on astros…

Temporarily blinded as lid came off the copydex mid shake. Shouted “Shit!” loudly which shocked kids more than my eyes covered in glue.

Spine surgery from writing too many schemes of work without good back support. I took on a dept[artment] in 2nd y[ea]r of career, managed all of SLT and there was nothing. Had an op in 2009 and learned a lot about life in that year!

Accidental broken toe. Me vs. heavy box of music stands. Helpful child said ‘you can swear if you like miss – looked like it hurt’. It did.

I scraped my shin and badly injured my pride falling-off a chair balanced on a table, as I put up a display… as a class quietly worked…  and I dislocated my knee in a Staff Vs Parents hockey match.

Almost broke fingers and arm, grassboarding down a slope on y[ea]r 7 activity holiday session!

being bitten. Also having a chair leg land on my foot (sandals

Molten jelly baby flew out of boiling tube onto my hand during open evening demo. I kept smiling

Sort of injury, kidney stones from not drinking enough water during school day. Agony for 2 days. Now I know opioids REALLY work.

slipped on a wet corridor and broke a finger pride also suffered considerable injury. After year 11 stopped convulsing with laughter following my very slapstick slip they did show great concern and sympathy

Sewed through my finger on a sewing machine whilst helping Year 11. Just about managed not to bleed on her coursework!

Ice skating lesson with a school group in 1988 & stuck the rear right boot spike through my left boot. Stab wound & 2 broken bones in foot!

Fractured my arm after falling off a ladder putting Christmas dec[oration]s up or scalded my foot after dropping an urn of hot water.

Electric shocks from various electricity experiments, and falling over and hurting my thumb.

Ran a ski trip to Italy and chair lift bar fell on my head, lots of blood and was taken down the slope in the blood-wagon. Tried to walk through a swing door which was normally well oiled, unfortunately this time it wasn’t and I went head first into the glass!

Stitches in a finger due to a stubborn classroom locker. Expletives were used. Entire Year 4 class were shocked. Hospital swiftly attended.

cracked patella jumping rope with 3rd graders

Mild concussion. Projector screen fell from roof hit me on head.

A bruised backside when I slipped on ice taking Tutor group to Xmas carol service. They kindly picked me up.

Slipped a disc standing up from my chair whilst teaching a PSHE lesson. Needed [other teachers] to carry me away from class!!

Fell off a table whilst putting up a display. Did my knee good and proper

I stapled my finger when putting up a display. Ive also caught thousands of colds (but that’s illness not injury).

My funniest injury at sch[ool]: stapled my fingers together whilst holding a stapler & teaching.

Electric shock off a whiteboard…it certainly made me jump!!

Torn my knee ligaments jumping on a trampoline

During my PGCE I dislocated my shoulder from stopping a pass in a lunchtime basketball game.

Fractured my humerus, two ribs and cut my eyebrow… I fell

Trapped arm in a door while restraining a student (Special needs School) [went to] A&E

Regularly I have bruises mid thigh from walking into tables

I slipped in the dining hall on a sausage and did a strange somersault, a plate crashed to the floor bounced up & and sliced open my cheek

Tripped up stairs on the way to a lesson, laptop went flying, smashed my head on the handrail, knocked myself out, in front of students

Punched in the temple by a y[ear] 8 boy. Headbutted (didn’t connect) by an angry y[ear] 11. Wallet nicked by a y[ear] 11 that I had spent hours supporting.

Lice, scabies and flea bites. All in a days work. Oh yes. And a tub of black powder paint with no lid, fell off a shelf on my head. Scary sight.

Torn [anterior cruciate ligament] in right knee whilst separating two Year 9 boys fighting!

Once thought it good idea to remove OHP bulb immediately after it blew. Fingerprints returned after a few months

I ripped a muscle in my lower back moving a filing cabinet. Had waited for the site agent for 5 days and got tired of waiting.  won’t make the mistake again, will just wait nicely!

Bumped into a table (fixed to the floor). Bruise on my thigh is about 10 cm long, 5 cm high. Done this almost every month, for 20 y[ears].

Broke a tooth on school pitta bread…

Dropped a recycling bin on my foot and lost a toenail.

Got slapped around the face and then kicked twice one morning.

Burnt most of my hand when I didn’t use a long enough fuse for a flash powder demonstration

I fell off my bike in front of the main entrance, causing moderate but prolonged reputational damage.

Put a staple through my finger while putting up a display.

Badly cut knee and ripped suit after attempting to show Y[ear] 6 boys,playing football on the playground, ‘how it’s done’.

Took an “accidentally released” rounders bat to the gentleman’s area. If I wasn’t the recipient it would have been funny.

Partially tore ligaments while mucking about being a wolf in the playground

Tripped on cracked car park tarmac, burst knee wide open. Lots of stitches

I broke my foot at 7am at school on a dodgy paving slab and then walked around on it for the rest of the day before getting an X-ray. I also once dropped molten hot sulfur on my hand while doing a demo,had to teach the rest of my lesson with my hand in a bowl of cold water

Fell 2 steps walking down unlit stairs and twisted ankle. Had an xray and 2 days off work.

Cut my finger open whilst shutting a toilet door I spotted was ajar. Kid in my class provided me with loo roll from his bag that he kept there with a torch in case he needed to go for a poo in the dark! Not sure which event was the weirdest.

Fell off a chair doing a display- Huge bruise black on arm…despite just saying to students always use a chair for its intended purpose!

I broke my ankle in the middle of one of my [physical education] classes.

Broke bone in coccyx. Also got pneumonia from sewage has when basement flooded. Illness rather than injury really.

My eye got cut from a student’s nail when playing basketball with them. Lost a high % of peripheral vision in my right eye.

I’ve suffered a cut lip when a child I was sitting next to shot his hand up a little enthusiastically. Still think he did it on purpose

There have been a couple of reasonably serious injuries in the staff-sixth form football. Not to me though.

Banging my head – It’s not easy being a giant.

[From a school business manager] There was the time I was walking along a corridor & a teacher opened an outward opening door & pole-axed me. They were mortified..

Got punched by a parent, but wasn’t injured, and in retrospect she was probably in the right. Who was I to tell her son to tuck in his shirt?

Shut the filing cabinet in my classroom and trapped my nipple in it. No idea how I managed that..

Teachers describe their worst injury at work published first on http://ift.tt/2uVElOo