#I really liked the newest trolls movie

[sokumeii]

[dartheclipse0816]

Trolls Band Together

Hello once again, everyone.

At this point, I’m sure you all already know why I’m not as active as I used to be.

But if some of you need a refresher, in Layman's terms, being an adult, with the responsibilities that all comes with being an adult, has left me very busy, and it just caused me to lose interest in Tumblr and only come back for short periods of time, from time to time.

But now, now that the newest Trolls movie, Trolls Band Together, has released, I figured I’d write my thoughts about it.

But before I begin, I must give you all a heads up: There’s going to be major spoilers with what I’m about to talk about, so if you are reading this and haven’t seen the movie yet but still want to see it, if you don’t want the movie to be spoiled, then don’t read this any further. It’s going to have major spoilers.

But, for those who have seen the movie, well, here’s what I have to say:

I loved it.

I loved the music, the animation, the voice acting, as well as the all the new characters and the chemistry between the new and returning characters.

I appreciated that the movie started acknowledging the Bergens again and gave them a more prominent role in the movie after they mostly went ignored for a long time after the first movie, Trolls Holiday, and the first few seasons of TTBGO (even though it and Trollstopia aren’t canon to the movies). Seeing Gristle and Bridget finally getting married and contributing significantly to the plot was nice to see, and cute, I'd say.

I also thought it was cool seeing that Branch also once was part of a band with his four older brothers, and him going through the movie trying to reconnect with them, while difficult for him after they left him in his childhood, was still nice to see, especially with Floyd. It was nice seeing Floyd comfort Branch when he was a baby, and be the most supportive of him throughout the movie next to Poppy, after seeing Branch being the one who always got the short end of the stick for a long time throughout TTBGO and Trollstopia. It really made me smile.

I also liked Camila Cabello as Viva. Seeing the singer who sung Havana voicing Poppy's secret long lost sister, it was cute.

And, of course, seeing *NSYNC appear in the movie and collaborating with Justin Timberlake again after over 20 years, was awesome! Their new song, 'Better Place', gives me the same feeling of joy when I listened to 'Green Light Ride' from Crush 40 when they reunited with the Sonic series after a long break for Team Sonic Racing. It was awesome to hear them back together again in both instances.

I also especially loved seeing the combined band of Branch, his brothers, and Poppy and Viva all singing together for both a remix of 'Better Place' and 'Family', and it made me realize why the film was even titled Band Together, because they were literally banding together!

Now, with all that being said, I did have some issues with the film as well.

The movie's villains, Velvet and Veneer, they felt kinda one-dimensional and shallow. I thought they could’ve spent more time with them to develop their backstories a bit more and make them a bit more fleshed out.

And also, what’s the name of the species of Velvet and Veneer? They never appeared in any of the previous movies, holidays specials, or non-canon shows, and were never implied to or hinted at before, but that we do know about their existence, why don’t the Trolls or Bergens know about them? And also, they have advanced technology that can suck out a Troll's musical talent? And apparently Wi-Fi and social media exists in the Trolls world? What the heck?

Okay, okay, I know most of that doesn’t bother a lot of you guys, but to me, it highlights an ongoing issue I’ve always seen within the Trolls series: Inconsistencies with regards to its world building. I know a lot of you guys have seen it in the non-canon shows, but I also saw it in Trolls World Tour, since that movie introduced Trolls tribes that all have their own unique musical genre. As cool as I thought that was, it also made me think: Do those other musical Troll tribes know about the Bergens? Do the Bergens know about those other Troll tribes?

And speaking of those other Troll tribes, I was also disappointed that they aren’t even seen or mentioned in this movie. It left me very disappointed, since there’s a lot of potential you could do with those other Troll tribes, like make some kind of new evil threat that could threaten the entire Trolls' and Bergens' species, and have all the Troll tribes and Bergens band together (pun intended) to stop that evil threat. That could’ve been awesome!

Oh, and the Snack Pack got reduced to extras, which, like my disappointment with the absence of the other Troll tribes, left me feeling a bit disappointed, since they could’ve done something more with them in this movie.

Other than those things, I really loved the film!

And for all you Trolls fans out there, I think it’s time that I mention the elephant in the room with regards to Broppy.

Finally…

After waiting over seven long years since the first movie…

And seeing a far away version at the end of World Tour…

Branch.

And.

Poppy.

Finally.

At.

Long.

Last…

…

…

…

KISSED.

THEY FINALLY DID IT!!!

BRANCH AND POPPY FINALLY KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE LIPS!!!

IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED!!!

Now, unfortunately, unlike with Trolls World Tour, Trolls Band Together is still in theaters, and I didn’t find any leaked screencaps in time for the writing of this review, but trust me, I’m not kidding, this actually happened in the movie!

And I couldn’t have been more overjoyed to finally see it happen officially, front and center, on screen, and made me cheer in the theater!

And I thought I’d let you all know after being silent for a long time!

Because after waiting for over seven years, after all that waiting, I couldn’t be happier to see that the kiss was well worth the wait.

As a big Trolls fan.

Thank you all for reading this.

And I’ll talk again next time.

Maybe when there’s a new Trolls show or movie?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out!

Thank you all once again, and have a wonderful day.

[contrastparadoxx]

Divine Intervention

Antare belongs to @sunnetrolls, Parome belongs to @asks-n-trolls , All other characters belong to me HUGE shout out to @sasster for all of the help writing this i would not have finished without you

Despite Contra’s liberation from beneath the thumb of her ancestor, to the loosest definition possible anyway, there always had to be some reason or event orchestrated to bring her back under his influence. Maybe to remind her of her place, maybe to make him feel better about the embarrassment that surrounded her being allowed to live planetside in the first place. If she thought about it for long enough, the why doesn’t really matter, it’s just that it is something that is.

This evening’s event was no different, but it was supposed to be. Contra’d orchestrated the whole thing herself — A small party on a ship with the premier of her newest movie set to play when it docked at a private island. She’d rub elbows with other industry giants, entertain them, and possibly secure another handful of roles from this very event. She had it all figured out on her own, too, from catering to drink service.

She’d even been able to pull some strings to have Antare among the service providers. It was not ideal, especially considering who bankrolled the event and as such decided that his attendance and the attendance of actors and producersI from more distinguished- read: empire propaganda films- were of the utmost importance.

At least she had the solace of her moirail being nearby, should she need to decompress after her interactions with the overbearing benefactor.

The Cleanser, Archen Aurela, her father.

Try as she did to forget that fact, the man loomed over the crowd all evening, easily the tallest of all of her guests, micro expressions that only she could detect displaying his disapproval for some of the crowd.

It became clear what he was scouring the crowd for when his eyes fell on hers, she felt like a deer in headlights. He did not need to make a large motion for her to get the picture that he wanted to meet her on the outside portion of the ship, now. It seemed Antare had noticed as well, or at least her reaction to such, because as she started to make her way towards the door outside, he stepped out from behind his little counter.

She did not notice.

Once outside the hostess politely asked the singular, incredibly handsy, pair out there to please head inside, just for now, if that’s alright. No, she is not just being a prude she just needs the space for a moment that’s all! In her attempt to talk sense into the duo, the sound of disturbance behind her was ignored, though when they both froze before scurrying off with an apology at the same time she felt a shadow fall over her, she knew her father had arrived outside.

Neither person in this particular argument was particularly prone to raising their voices. It made the gradually increasing volume all the more intense. 

“Why can’t you just let me live my life how I want to!”

“Because you make mistakes. Over, and over, and over again you’ve proven this. That mutant fire hazard, that pastel bitch, that teal” she flinched with each individual mentioned, fins flat with a mixture of anger and… fear? Frustration? Something else entirely? It did not matter, if he even noticed he paid them no heed and continued on. Just as she had been conditioned to expect. “That rust should learn his place, I suppose the Jade is. Fine.” He laughed, a single cruel bark “you know I only let you date that little gold because it will make when you crush him all the better. Finally prove once and for all who is superior”

“You leave your stupid grudge out of my relationship with Parome! And Antare too, for that matter, my quadrants have no bearing on this conversation!”

The look the fleet general gave his descendant was one of both annoyance, and pity. “You exist to serve me, and further than that, to serve the fleet. And it’s about time you stopped fighting that. Those quadrants of yours only get in the way.” He reached towards her, his size alone making an imposing figure.

She jerked away, attempting to avoid his grip, but in so doing she noticed some uncharacteristic splattering soiling his jacket. When did the Cleanser ever let himself present as anything other than what his title implied?

And why were the stains red?

Realization hit her like a truck, making her stomach drop into her toes.

Antare.

“What did you do” she whispered. His gaze followed hers, but he did not answer immediately.

And then he smiled, an expression that was the opposite of comforting, and ice flooded her veins.

“I did mention that rust needed to learn his place, and you certaintly were not going to do anything about it, so I took the task upon myself” his contempt was palpable, as he nodded slightly in a mockery of graciousness. “You’re welcome.”

Contra didn’t care, couldn’t care, his words just noise in her ears as she turned to go check on her moirail. What had she gotten him into? She was snapped out of her head by a growl.

“You do NOT walk away from me, child” the strength with which he grabbed her arm would certainly leave bruises, and her shoulder would certainly feel sore the next day as he yanked. Contra whirled, a rage so rarely seen painted clearly there. Her fury had born a sneer so pointedly full of warning that for once it was clear she was, in fact, of his blood.

“Let. Me. Go. I have a moirail to attend to” she snarled in return, her anger barely contained and the rapidly dimming moonlight making her eyes almost glow.

Only she was there to witness this, he was sure of it as his eyes darted. The partygoers were all inside still, but still for once he was grateful for the disconnect between his fins and ears that made them unresponsive to most emotions. Quickly, however, he turned that brief moment of uncertainty into fury.

“I will not tolerate this insubordination, especially not over something so insignificant as a lowblood“ he hissed in return, neither willing to give way but one far more physically able to force it. Her nails dug into his hand, to no effect, as he began pulling her out further. “I’ve had more than enough of your play, it’s about time someone put you back where you belong. You’re an adult now, you’re going to spend some time back in your proper room while I prepare my ship, and then we are leaving.” It seemed like his mind was made up, and he’d come to the ingenious plan of heaving the two of them over the rails into the sea, likely counting on the cold water to quickly make Contra too languid to fight him.

What else could she do? The words of her mother began to spill from her lips, words she learned and heard before even hatching, nothing an Alternian would understand, and certainly the vile man that brought the frightful song out of her would be unaffected by it- the rune carved painfully deep into his chest would ensure his safety in that regard- but she could not help it. In the face of danger, she sang.

The clouds that started to form finished their work, dutifully blocking out the moons and the tides took a turn for the tumultuous. Ink black waves rolled against each other and smashed into any surface they could find, even the most expert of swimmers would find it difficult to navigate around their anger. Cleanser scowled at all of it, he briefly wondered where the storm came from, there was no forecast for it.

On the other hand, he considered the whole thing rather poetic. Even the weather knew to suit his whims, molding itself to fit his anger, why could this descendant of his not get the idea?

Disorientation blotted the Cleanser's mind when a particularly large wave came up and swept even him off of his intended course, tossing him carelessly into the depths. With that intrusion, he lost the grip of the wayward girl, muscles twitching with the memory of a tail no longer available to correct his positioning in the waves.

He didn't have the time to even begin to try and figure out where the swirl of waves sent her.

He didn’t need to worry, she wasn’t far away. The water swirled around her curiously, supporting her in ways the air simply never could. A deep chill already started seeping into her bones, quickly making it hard to keep struggling towards the surface, towards Antare.  A dark shape, too vast for her to comprehend fully in that moment, filled her vision, then, and a voice filled her mind. A warmth blossomed and she found herself able to think far better than she could a moment before.

‘You called, child, and I answered.’

The mix of, well, everything left Contra still somewhat confused, so she could be forgiven for the confused “Mom?” That came out. Luckily the entiry seemed to have a sense of humor, for she chuckled, a comforting sound that made the whole world feel alright for a moment.

‘In a way, child, though not the one you’ve know up to now. Now, let’s talk a bit about why it is you summoned me.’

~~~

It took some time for him to find her again, and when he did he seized her by the arm. The magic that protected him from the girl's song sent alarm bells through him, and he knew immediately that something was different. 

Something was wrong.

He hauled her out of the water like she weighed nothing at all, and the newly placid waves allowed him to do so with ease, and shoved her up onto dry ground again with force that sent her stumbling to find her footing.

“What did you do?” he demanded, yanking her effortlessly towards the line of rocks connecting the small sandbar they had landed on and proper land. She tugged back, and when he turned back to look at her, there was no hint of the fear and discomfort that would normally be default around him. No, this time she wore an expression that could only be described as smug. “What did you do‽” 

With a hoarse voice, and still through that smug grin, the girl responded, "I traded it away. No more mindless trolls clinging to my every word, no more zombies hanging off of every note." She was triumphant, it radiated off of her, and though he could hardly hear her over the waves and the crowd of trolls clamoring to come rescue the pair, he could tell she fancied herself the winner. "I traded it all away, for a different sort of control."

There was something in her fathers eyes, a look that told her any troll that had the misfortune of interrupting him right now would meet an extremely violent end. She could never stand the way he treated other trolls when his anger got the best of him, so despite the pain it caused, she opened her mouth and, once again, she sang.

No longer would she stand idle while this man's anger controlled her world.

The song she sang, it was not a good song, not on any metric, but her newfound ability did exactly what the goddess promised it would do. Once again the clouds rushed in and the waves became angry, bubbling up to separate the father-daughter pair and their would-be rescuers.

And all at once the truth was all around him, in the form of the ocean coming to isolate him from the rest of the world. He looked at his daughter with what could only be silent fury, or maybe it was fear that coursed through him, and the words were slow to come.

He selected carefully, words designed to drive directly into her heart. It was the last bit of control he could have over the situation.

“Worthless. You’ve made yourself worthless to me, to the empire. A somewhat pretty face that hides the rot of gentleness.” He spat out like venom, disgust forcing his nose to crinkle up as he addressed her. “You know how I feel about rot. You are no descendant of mine. You are no Aurela.”

Only some of his words found their mark, striking with enough force to cause her to falter and he took that chance to knock her off the feet, an easy enough backhand that sent her tumbling down. Flecks of Violet landed to mix with the red.

“Useless vile creature.”

With that he took advantage of a small break between the waves to leap and disappear within them. He left her stunned, gone within seconds it felt, while she sat there and struggled to decipher if it was sea water or tears stinging her eyes.

[neonknightjaey]

Sburb:Final Test Build! (Prologue)

*A website opens up showing a chatlog between four individuals. A website called Troll-A-Chum. This was the last normal conversation before the session started.*

dynamicProtagonist: thAtcher, where the hell are you?! is your thinkpan, sorry…”Brain” still Culminating on the newest set of excuses to holD Everyone back from Fully levelinG up for the better?!

thinkpanObliterator: Come now Adroxi, it izn’t all that zerious. He could juzt be running a bit behind iz all.

zanyKnight: Sorry! I’m super late! Had another run in with “You know who.” He was guarding my copy of SBURB along with THE DONUTS.

DP: are tHese “donuts” really that Important you had to needlessly capitalize them?

ZK: …they had chocolate frosting…

grimmestDarkpony: did somebody say chocolate?!?! :D

TO: Ahh, Emmi. You’re here. I take it your copy is in your handz?

GP: yeah! got it in the mail today from my parents!

TO: Parentz, zuch a human conztruct anyway. Zounds like it would be better than…hmmm, no. What we have iz much better. Anywayz insert the game in already or elze the cluckbeazt will find you~!

DP: kasill…stop…

ZK: Can we play now?

DP: thatcher, pay attention and insert the disc!

*As soon as they insert the disc…things go dark…for the audience. For now. Lets get the plot of this story out of the way, then we’ll do roll call.*

The real title of this tale…

Homestuck: Connection Lost

The plot is similar to the main series. Four varying aged individuals decide to play a game together, however after entering the medium, the connection to their server is lost and as such, their world is deleted. However, the four end up in another session. One already in progress with a boy, his friends, and eight trolls negging them as well…yeah they’ve wound up in the beta timeline and must work with them to at least save this world.

Unoriginal plot is now out of the way. Now, lets get on with the role call!

Up first, the self proclaimed “leader” of this group.

Adroxi Repits

Adroxi is a teal Blooded troll who has a passion for justiCe and as such works on his figure to grow himself physically. he is heavily inspireD by jrpgs and oftEn thinks oF himself as the protaGonist. wHIle he can come across as rude and…very rude, deep down he has a bond with most of his friends that will be pushed to their limits while on this Journey. He’s also the one who made the Troll-A-Chum servers for his friends to talk on.

Age: 8.5 Sweeps (18.5. 23 by the credits)

Weapons: His fists, SwordBats

Typing quirks: AlphaBetiCal capitalization.

Chumhandle: dynamicProtagonist

Next is.

Kasill Vaveil

Kasill is a Jade blooded troll who can handle the Alternian sun like most do but something is off about her. Instead of embracing the nurturing and caregiving side most of them have, she fears that if she does this, she’ll cause problems and will lead others to their deaths. To remedy this she hides behind a “kooky” and wacky persona so that nobody suspects she’s hiding anything. She lets it slip with her friends though at times…mainly Thatcher and Adroxi.

Age: 7 Sweeps (15. 20 by the credits)

Weapons: Barbed Wire, Chains

Typing quirks: Replaces all S’s with Z’s

Chumhandle: thinkpanObliterator

Next we have

Jaey Thatcher

Jaey is a normal everyday human who’s sleep deprived and lives with a guy who dresses in knight armor and trains him in “the way of the knight.” Which mainly includes random attacks and being left on the ground after getting his ass kicked. Due to living on edge he’s never had time to figure out how to act or who he wants to act like. What he does know is that he LOVES pissing off “Crusader” often by using alternate weapons, shifting interests, finding more interests in samurai movies instead of knight movies, and giving up swords for fountain pens.

Age: 14.5 (20 by the credits)

Weapons: Fountain Pens, Broadswords

Typing quirks: Normal text but CAPITALIZES important items and titles.

Chumhandle: zanyKnight

Finally on our list is

Emmi Jollie

Emmi is the youngest of the quartet and yet so mature she was allowed to name herself two years early! She gets pouty at her parents for telling her no all the time and being responsible so she turns to her online friends who agreed they’ll help her grow up. She is the glue holding them together and without her they wouldn’t be friends. She loves normal girly stuff like the color pink, horses, and the twisted and macabre stuff like horror terrors and, thanks to “mister white text man” she’s really interesting in “Grimdarks.” She hopes that someday her friends can see that she can grow up without them and she’ll be okay on her own one day.

Age: 11 at the start. (12 when they enter the other world. 17 by the credits)

Weapons: Pop guns, revolvers, wiffle ball bats

Typing quirks: all lowercase. Lots of exclamation marks and smiles when excited.

Chumhandle: grimmestDarkpony

And with that, the roll call is done and I hope this weird what if has interested you…now a note from the author.

Author Talk: Hey guys…so this is my weird little HSAU series I’ve been planning for months. Still ironing some things out but I can answer any questions you may have.

1, Why are YOU in this?

A: It was originally an rp series that fell through but over time I developed it more and as such am keeping him here as his own separate character. Shipping stuff, if any, will only be for after the credits esq pics where everyone in the story is established to be 18 and older…not with Emmi though. She’s too young. Speaking of.

2, Why the varying ages?

A: Well…having everyone be multiple ages is something I don’t see too often in these stories so I wanted to try it for myself and see if I could make it work.

3, Will this ever be on MSPFA or have pictures to go with it?

A: Not unless a team of deranged folks wanna go along with this somehow for free cuz I’m both broke and artistically bankrupt. Hell I made these guys in the character maker for HS.

4, Is this just cringy fanfiction?

A: Hell yeah baby. But fuck it, we ball.

With this all being said. I hope you enjoyed reading…this in all its….glory?

[dulltoned]

currently brainrotting about the possible antagonists that we could get in Trolls 4 (if that does end up happening) and I need to get this shit out somehow

I’ve seen people talk about Crimp being the next antagonist, and imma be real; I don’t see it- like sure, that lil mop thing is smart, hell, even Velvet acknowledged that and ended up not trusting her as a result, but I highly doubt Crimp could be some kind of evil mastermind (also wondering how she didn’t get arrested as well since, legally speaking she could be considered a as an accomplice to the whole shit fest with Floyd?? make that make sense, but then again, law may work different in their world so what do I know)

some said something about Creek coming back, and let me just say I HATE plots like that-

Creek’s dead, end of story, and even if he is somehow still alive, he doesn’t deserve to fucking return (I hate Creek, alright- can’t stand the little shit)

now, I’ve seen someone speak about a new kind of Troll popping up and I gotta say that caught my eye a bit more; Phonk Trolls- I’d say it would be an interesting concept to play with-

I got a personally idea of mine since, throughout the movies, the subject of grey trolls in general is never truly talked about again- so far, canonically, Branch seems to be the only troll we know of that has turned grey and remained that way for a long period of time- but what if there were more, similar to him? trolls who had lost their colors and just- never gained them back

I find the idea of a whole tribe of grey trolls rather interesting, and it would be a fun concept to tweak and play around with- and how they could pose a threat to our beloved main cast- perhaps they want to rid the world of color, or they want to steal that color to have some sort of happiness back, unfortunately ripping all the others trolls of that same mirth- are they driven by anger, grief, vengeance, or a mix of all of these?

or perhaps the newest antagonist is another species entirely, or a bigger threat than anything they’ve experienced before-

anyways it’s midnight where I am and I need some sleep

-🪶

I don't really have any big hopes for the antagonists of the fourth film, were there to be one. I'd like to see some returning antagonists, to be fair, even if they've all been pretty safely written off and tucked away where they won't be a problem anymore.

I don't remember if the storyboards I saw were real or not but I honestly wouldn't mind if Creek was a returning villain. I'd honestly like to see him antagonize Branch a lot more, I enjoyed their bitter dynamic before the Snack Pack got taken in the first movie. While Chef is most certainly dead we saw Poppy save herself from a similar experience during Get Back Up Again so I don't think it would be entirely out of pocket to have Creek survive somehow.

I just don't know how the franchise could do that in a way that I wouldn't despise. I know that I absolutely loathed how Creek was written into The Beat Goes On and I would hate to have the main series ruined by some blunder like that.

I'd just like to see one of the Trolls movies expand a bit more on what we already know, like how World Tour really went into detail about the Trolls and their different cultures and subspecies. I don't want a whole new species like the Mount Rageons even though I adore them, I think it'd be fun to dig a little deeper into the world we already have and then continue to expand it later down the line maybe.

I like what I've seen a few people say here and there, though. I'd like to see a scenario where Branch is the one that needs help for once, instead of being the one to offer it and pull off the rescue. I love seeing how competent and aware he is but I'd like to see what would happen if the rest of the trolls didn't have Branch to rely on for once. He's always a really big piece of the solution so what would happen if they didn't have him to put things together?

Regardless, if/when a fourth film comes out I hope I love it just as much as the other three. That's all I can really ask for.

[artlesscomedic]

watched the newest trolls movie (it rules, nsync was there and I love them so much)

decided to watch the second one again bc I remember really liking it

wow wait that's two out of three let's watch the first again!

why did I just watch the series backwards hold on

watch the second and third ones again but in order this time! brain is all candy jelly

anyway I'm drawing myself but as a TROLL this time let's fucking go

[killerandhealerqueen]

Hi! What famous franchises from anime, TV series or movies have you watched? What do you like the most? I have a lot of ideas with crossovers, but I do not know what you watched and therefore it is difficult for me to continue something.

Vita, my dear, hello!

Oh dear...okay. Let me see...

Movies

Lord of the Rings triology

The Hobbit triology

Men in Black triology

Almost all Disney princess movies

Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw

Coraline

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Box Trolls

Howl's Moving Castle

Maleficent 1 & 2

All High & Low Movies

Drama/Movie Masterlist (for all cmovies/kmovies/jmovies)

All Daniel Craig James Bond movies (except for the newest one)

A few marvel movies

Knives Out

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Story

Miss Congeniality 1 & 2

The Shining

Dr. Sleep

Others...

TV Shows/Dramas

Drama/Movie Masterlist (for all cdramas/kdramas/jdramas & others)

CSI: Miami (all 10 seasons but I'm already doing a fanfic with this tv show for K&H)

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (a few episodes/season)

FBI

Hawaii-Five 0 (reboot)

Sherlock

NCIS: New Orleans

NCIS: Los Angeles

NCIS: Hawaii

Will Trent

Chicago PD

The Cleaning Lady

Law & Order (all seasons except for the new ones)

Law & Order: SVU (a few episodes/seasons)

House M.D.

Definitely more...

Anime

Black Butler

Hetalia

Spy x Family

Buddy Daddies

Ace Attorney

Dragon Ball (all series and movies)

(I don't watch a lot of anime...wish I did)

That's all I can think of for now...but if there's something that you want me to headcanon and you're afraid that it's something I haven't seen, just send it anyways! I can figure it out. I don't want you to not send something in just because you think I haven't seen something or you think it's something I may not like (though I'm not really a fan of horror, so maybe don't send that). I'm pretty good at figuring stuff out. So just send away! I always love whatever you send me

[bcnigns]

( 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 /𝘩𝘦𝘳 ) — 🎬 just announced, 𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐀 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 has been cast as 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆 ( 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐅 ) in the upcoming 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐏 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 reboot. the 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘹 year old is trending as people are debating if 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 & 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘣𝘺 that they are known for is enough to make them as good as the original. a quick google search shows that their fans call them 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, but internet trolls think they’re more 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦. i guess their newest interview for variety where they talk about 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘸𝘯 will let people know them better.

( #𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 )

— ❛ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘴. ❜

full name : aurora jeon nickaname(s) : rory birthday : july 3 age : twenty6 gender : cis woman pronouns : she / her orientations : bisexual & biromantic

— ❛ 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. ❜

faceclaim : park sooyoung ( joy ) hair : dark brown, sometimes black eyes : deep brown height : 5'6" piercings : joy canon tattoos : none

— ❛ 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. ❜

positive traits : amiable, gregarious, spontaneous, confident negative traits : insecure, scatter-brained, impressionable mbti : enfp big three : cancer sun, cancer moon, leo rising likes : romcoms, anything sugary, painting, teacup dogs, wired/large headphones dislikes : confrontation, bad manners, driving, horror ( ironic, considering her past project .. )

( #𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇 )

— ❛ 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥. ❜

♡ born to a famous father ( face & career claim tbd ), aurora was never a stranger to the realities of hollywood. spending her childhood on movie sets and attending red carpet events, she seems to be the definition of a nepo baby ♡ until, of course, you actually get to know her & you realize that while such an upbringing may have made her more comfortable in those spaces, it didn't guarantee talent — of which she has often wonders if she even has or if she's being given the opportunities unfairly ♡ she got her first role ( cora hale ) when she was still in high school and while not the most memorable character in the series, it was enough to put her on the radar, eventually landing her the series regular role of brooke moon in scream the series (2015-2019) ♡ she's generally a soft-spoken person, not looking to be the biggest star in hollywood or even be a household name, as she would likely still act even if she was only in unknown projects, but she's secretly extremely excited to have been cast as blair & the nerves are really starting to set in ♡ when it comes to relationships, she has .. imposter syndrome & is constantly worried that her partners are getting tired of being with her ( she's working on it ;_; ). loves with all she has even if it's a bad idea, so she's usually the one being broken up with for being too needy ♡ she's really just an anxiety driven individual with an unfortunate need for people to like her ( another topic for her therapist ) & she'll automatically assume she's close friends with anyone she's met for any amount of time

— ❛ 𝘩𝘤 𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘱. ❜

♡ hiccups when she cries, is a messy drunk & a lightweight, can't keep track of a single item she owns ( has made many an airtag purchase ), paints for fun and sometimes gifts them to her friends, has a micro teacup maltipoo named 콩이 ( kongi — it means bean lmao ), is an early riser and will likely have finished her entire morning routine and gone on a hot girl walk before 7am, has an insane sweet tooth - 100% eats/orders dessert first, is a firm believer that having eight pillows on her bed is simply cozy and not excessive, cries extremely easily if so if she has to cry for a role then all they have to do is pretend to be a little upset with her and she'll be bawling, cannot hang im so sorry but she is the first to leave a party ( unless enough alcohol is in her system that she's fuzzy around the edges ), is super shy in interviews and has gone on record saying that conan o'brien was the only host she felt 100% comfortable talking to ( she didn't mean to admit as much, but here we are & you know the jimmy's get on her about it every time she's on their shows 🤧 ), hosted snl once and vowed never to do it again because it was the most nervous she's ever been on tv

( #𝐈𝐌𝐃𝐁 )

— ❛ 𝘵𝘷 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴. ❜

♡  gossip girl (upcoming) as blair huang ( blair waldorf ) ♡  scream (2015-2019)  as   brooke moon ( brooke maddox ) ♡  teen wolf (2013)   as  cora hale

— ❛ 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘴. ❜

♡  do revenge (2022)  as  erica ♡  booksmart (2019) as hope ♡  set it up (2018) as harper ♡  endless love (2014)  as  jade butterfield

[heartsfm]

↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺ obsessed - mariah carey 0:01 ❍──── 4:28

(  kaya scodelario,  cis woman,  she/her )  —  🎬  just  announced,  AMELIA COSTA HEART has  been  cast  as  CHARLOTTE YORK in  the  upcoming SEX AND THE CITY  reboot.  the  twenty six year  old  is  trending  as  people  are  debating  if  the  vintage chanel sunglasses that once belonged to her mother, glasses of champagne that are sipped a bit too quickly, walks around new york with a shakespeare & co tote bag, smudged makeup, being the inspiration behind more than one song that  they  are  known  for  is  enough  to  make  them  as  good  as  original.  a  quick  google  search  shows  that  their  fans  call  them  intellectual,  but  internet  trolls  think  they’re  more  manipulative.  i  guess  their  newest  interview  for  variety  where  they  talk  about  her life as a broadway child star will  let  people  to  know  them  better. 

basics:

full name:  amelia costa heart

nicknames:  amy, ames, occasionally ellie

gender:  cis woman

pronouns:  she/her

sexuality:  bisexual

age:  twenty six

ethnicity:  brazilian-american, white

hometown: new york city

residence:  has both a mansion in l.a. and a fashionable apartment in new york, though she has a clear predilection for her hometown

personality:

traits:  intelligent, loyal, romantic, confident, obsessive, manipulative, selfish, occasionally self destructive

mental health:  has been struggling with depression and anxiety since childhood, but has it mostly under control nowadays

physical health:  could be better, since the cigarettes and alcohol mostly tip the balance over her good exercise routine and eating habits

hobbies:  is an avid reader and writer. likes to play tennis or go riding on her free time

character inspo: blair waldorf (gossip girl), charlotte york (sex and the city), venetia catton (saltburn)

family:

mother:  clara costa, a famous brazilian writer who wote many acclaimed broadway plays and prestige television shows

father:  james heart, from an old money new york family

siblings:  none

pets:  two ragdoll cats called pippin and merry

bio:

amy doesn't really remember when she started acting. she played a baby on one of her mothers tv shows when she was barely a year old, though played is really an exaggeration. at six years old she was already starring in a broadway play, which led to a series of musicals such as annie, the sound of music and matilda.

the peak of her career as a child star was at 13, when she was cast in a brand new movie version of the wizard of oz, as dorothy gale. though amy remembers the movie clearly, it also stands very solidly as the end of her childhood, and the start of a much more troubled part of her life.

amy's entire family has a troubled history of mental illnesses, and by 15 she started heavily self medicating and drinking to deal with a newfound explosion in fame. she always loved dancing and the crowded, barely lit atmosphere of hot new york clubs provided her a decent escape from her own overactive mind.

her teenage years were marked by incredibly successful movies, scandalous affairs with more than one musician and parties that lasted for several days. it was also marked by the sudden and tragic death of her grandmother the day she turned 20. amy was so out of it her parents were only able to contact her two days later. that's when she decided to get her shit together.

amy took a break from acting, got a literature degree in yale, published a book about her life and then another one, not about her life. she came out of hiding a much less self destructive person, though old habits die hard.

the sex and the city reboot was a bit of a one eighty as far as projects go. after the wizard of oz amy become known for high brow indie projects, but the tv show proved to be exactly what she needed.

personality

like many born and raised rich girls, amy can have an over-inflated ego. it's not really her fault, and if you can get past that then you'll see a very sweet and caring person. she just so happens to think the world is her personal country club.

she likes to party and is not ashamed of it. though she is quite more restrained than she was as a teenager, it's not hard to find pap pics of her and her friend on a night out.

is quite intellectual and likes to discuss books and movies with anyone who has half a mind to engage with her rantings. though she tends to be a bit of a know-it-all.

a part of her is still obsessed with childlike ideals of friendship and romance, which means she is loyal to a fault. she tends to get caught up in people, even when they're clearly bad for her.

[bashfulfm]

statistics / biography / pinterest

( froy gutierrez, cis man, he/him/his ) — 🎬 just announced, sebastian ‘bash' guerra is casted as ryan atwood in the oc reboot. the twenty three year old is trending as people are debating if the family dinners around the table, being the knight in shining armor, picking sunflowers, movie scripts, and always having sunscreen that they are known for is enough to make them as good as original. a quick google search shows that their fans call them nurturing, but internet trolls think they’re more irresolute. i guess their newest interview for variety where they talk about how he rescued his dog will let people to know them better.

he’s originally from san diego but now lives in los angeles after he was scouted to be an actor in a community theater production. 

he grew up taking care of the rest of his siblings, as he was the oldest of six. although some might disagree with what he was doing, he never minded since he was always a family oriented person and this is where his nurturing nature was honed. 

he’s the kind of guy to give you the shirt off his back with no questions asked, always willing to give a helping hand. 

before he got into acting, he thought he might want to become a doctor or nurse because he always loved healing people. 

TW FOR SUICIDE / DEATH -- one of his brothers, sammy, ended up taking his own life while bash was in los angeles pursuing his acting career. this made bash feel like it was his fault for leaving his family when his little brother clearly needed him. even though people -- his therapist, his family, his friends -- have told him that there was nothing he could do, he never really believed that. he wanted to stay in san diego after the death, but his parents once again convinced him to go and continue his dream. after sammy’s death, bash was a shell of his former self for a little while which led to him being cast in broodier indie roles, but in reality, he wasn’t broody and the tragedy didn’t harden him, it made him softer. END OF TW.

bash is always the kind of person to ask if you need anything from him at all. because of what happened, he’s always trying to save everyone which has led to him to have somewhat of a savior complex

he’s the mom friend and the dad friend because he will remind you to tie your shoelaces and wear sunscreen and then say the worst pun in the same breath

there are probably some things i am missing but his bio goes into much more detail <3

[outrunningthedark]

You really can tell which women peaked as "pretty, privileged, mean girls" in high school or college, because they will be out there as grown ass adults acting like children.

Like I said in my last post, I'm not too familiar with AK's previous work - I've seen her in...two? Christmas movies IIRC - but with the way those who are aware reacted positively to the newest addition because they enjoyed her role in TVD or John Tucker Must Die (or even Gilmore Girls)...I get the feeling she's used to being a "fan favorite" and thought 9-1-1 would offer more of the same.

Celebs who are used to trolls and "fans" talking shit don't go out of their way to acknowledge twitter rumors of little consequence (it's not like anyone was speculating about a relationship or making accusations about her health), nor do they care to give an explanation/excuse as to why they've been silent about something (In this case, she's claiming not talking about the show hasn't been her choice so viewers will assume the "toxic fandom" is ruining the fun and go to bat for the character. I've seen it a few times already.)

Someone should remind AK that her co-star, who just so happens to have EP credits, already prepared the fan base for a potential return in his last interview. Not willing to say otherwise is one of two things: 1) you're not coming back or 2) you crave the attention (because even if people are hating, at least they remember you exist).

[godfistgonnalive]

red leaf (day 1 - red!!)

Everyday, I would see him. He’d sit on the bench under the maple tree in the park. He would wear a red scarf around his neck, complimenting his dark gray sweater and black, baggy jeans. He would be reading a new book every day. How he managed to go through books that fast, I couldn’t be able to tell you. I’d always glance at him every time I walked past. He’d glance back. That was our daily interaction. I honestly started looking forward to it everyday. He’s quite a sight, if I’m being honest. Whenever our eyes locked for that split second, my heart leapt. I’d think about him for the rest of my walk. Well, I would already be thinking about him before I saw him. I thought about him a lot.

I would see him in other places in town a lot, too. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was just coincidence. I’d notice him at the store, usually picking out red apples in the produce section. I’d see him at the library, carrying a tall stack of books I had only seen the movie adaptations to. I’d see him in the movie theater, clearly trying to hold back tears at the sad part of the movie. Each time I saw him, we would always share a glance at least once. I would wonder if he thought of me as someone special, even if we had never spoken before, or as just another face in the crowd.

After finally working up the courage, I decided I’d sit down next to the guy. Honestly, I had no idea what to say in the slightest. I would just figure that out when it happened. After traversing my usual trail back home, I saw him. He saw me. When I got to the bench, I sat down, and immediately died of nervousness. I didn’t meet his gaze as he looked at me while I fidgeted with my fingers. I took a deep breath, collected myself, and looked back at him.

“Uh… fancy meeting you here?” I greeted, and immediately regretted it.

“Hey.. you. I know you, I think. I see you a lot.” the troll said. His voice was kind of hoarse, but in a nice way. He had his red scarf on today. His pupils were a mixture of black and red, beautifully blending together. He had dark gray freckles dotting along his nose and cheeks. I wanted to run my hand through his messy, black hair. I examined every detail of his face as fast as possible, so I could respond in time without staring for too long.

“Yeah. I see you too. A lot. I’m Dave. Dave Strider.” I spoke, pausing a lot, as I was still enamored by, well, all of him.

“I’m Karkat. Karkat Vantas.” he mirrored me, and I smiled at that. “Wait, that name sounds familiar. Do you make music?” he asked.

“Yeah, you listen to my stuff?” I asked, about to be really happy if he said yes.

“Yes! Your newest album is my favorite by far.” he answers excitedly.

I blush. “Wait, your name sounds familiar, too. Are you, like, author Karkat Vantas?”

He had an obvious blush, too. “Maybe.” he laughs. 

We both sat there for a while, talking about everything and nothing, both of our faces red. Our knees touched as we slowly got closer, but neither of us were doing anything to stop the contact. I looked down at my watch after god knows how long, and I realized I should be getting home by now.

“Hey, do you have a piece of paper or something? I want to write down my number for you,” I was cut off slightly by a red maple leaf blowing into my face. Karkat snickered as I removed it. “This will do, I guess.” I wrote down my phone number onto the leaf and handed it to him. 

“See you always, Karkat.” I waved and walked off, face still blushing red.

[thatonekreachur]

Today was field day in my school, and me and my friend were part of the same group so we did many activities with each other. There were four people in my friend group including me, but however, about two of us weren't in the same group, so it was just two of us. The thing is, is that ever since I met them (which is like two days ago), I always thought that "hey maybe they can be trolls fans like me!", because I heard some of my other friends talk about it many days ago, so maybe they could be the newest addition! But I could never ask them about it because I was also like "you may never know if they are trolls haters" because of it's very bad rep with movie critics... but hey critics are dumb anyways!

So then, we are at the field day, and it was time for my group to get some snacks. That was good because I was very thirsty and I didn't even bring my water bottle, and there was cotton candy here also. So we were in the line to get cotton candy, until the most convenient thing happens. There was this big boombox nearby that would play popular songs, and so I was like "what if this could play a trolls song??" and that is where the important part takes place. (spoiler alert it played a trolls song)

So again, we were at the line to get cotton candy, until the boombox started playing can't stop this feeling, I was literally surprised, so I tried to act cool. Then my friend saw me kinda bopping to the beat and she said "do you like this song?", I said nothing, then she said "it kinda sounds familiar isn't it?" and then I was like "yeah I know rightttt 🙄🙄🙄 I really wonder where this song could've come frommmm 🙄🙄 it could be anything 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄" in a sarcastic way.

It was all so kinda coincidental, that I once thought that boombox might play a trolls song and it actually did. Maybe it's just fate that brought us here.

[trollex-is-gay]

Honestly when the new movie hits streaming and I can watch it somewhere I'll probably come back to tending this blog, my newest hyperfix has been treating me well but I do miss this community. That being said...I might like. Purge a bunch of old stuff or at the very least private some posts, because the last time I really posted something on here was 2022 if you don't count the post I made abt the third movie earlier. I have indeed grown quite a bit and honestly a lot of my ideas and opinions are still the same but some of them aren't, even from year to year I cringe at my past self and part of me wants to restart the whole shebang, but the other part knows I don't have it in me bc c'mon I have some good stuff left over. So in short yeah, once Band Together is somewhere I can watch it in good quality, you're probably going to be seeing a lot of me again, but I might change my profile's setup and maybe even my url, I do miss having Trolls as an interest, might make a proper pinned post for myself. I'm not sure if anyone missed me lmao, but then again I wasn't *that* active to begin with so oijdfsfjdios it would make sense if my absence went unnoticed lol.

[ofredemption-a]

✤ meiko & jihun

who said i love you first? jihun without a doubt there’s no way meiko would’ve said first

who laughs when the other trips? meiko and she probably tries to trip jihun so she can talk about how cute it was

who pays the bills? there’s no way jihun would ever let her pay let’s b honest<3

which one makes a bigger deal around the holidays? i think they’d both makes a big fuss over them especially christmas and getting to decorate the tree together and eat lots

who’s more clumsy? meiko since jihun is far too careful which is why meiko needs to trip him fjiosjoifjois

who checks their daily horoscope? meiko but she doesn’t really believe it unless it’s something really good

who sings louder in the car? meiko and she’d sing at the top of her lungs to try make jihun laugh or get his attention as if he can take his eyes off the road fjoisjoifjois

who leaves the cap off the toothpaste? jihun and only bc he comes home later and probably tired??

who is more up to date in pop culture? meiko and she’s constantly trying to confuse jihun with it since he doesnt have time for it

who insists on going to see the newest movies? jihun especially new marvel ones and meiko never has an interest but just suffers through them bc she knows he likes them

who cries when the abused animal commercials come on? probably jihun?? unless it’s a puppy then meiko would get a big pouty

who’s the lighter sleeper? meiko and she always wakes up to make sure jihun is okay while he sleeps and comfy,,, she’d pull the sheets up over him to make sure hes warm

who believes in ghosts? i dont think either would but meiko would troll jihun and say she saw one just to see does he react dramatically lmao

who does the grocery shopping? meiko and always does it while hes studying so his food can be ready when hes home

who updates their facebook status more often? definitely meiko and she’s always making spam posts about jihun

[moviemunchies]

I have so many feelings and feeling-shaped things attached to the Eragon movie that I don’t know how to approach this review. If you weren’t a fan of the book eagerly awaiting this movie like I was–I must have watched the tailor like thirty times when it was released–you can’t understand the excitement for this movie, followed by the disappointment in how little regard for the source material the movie had. AND THEN all the fan reactions.

There was this guy–username was Thorin Oakenshield–on the Inheritance Forums of Shurtugal.com that wrote, like, a song? Or a rap? “The Eragon movie/Was less than groovy/This song it made me sing/Bad images did it bring”.

I probably got it horribly wrong, but I’m amazed that I remember that much.

And there was this one person who made a post arguing that actually, this was an Oscar-worthy movie, and we were all being unduly harsh, and in hindsight, that person was _definitely_ trolling all of us, but we were all worked up about it.

Anyhow I kind of love this movie even though it’s a cold mess.

[Sorry, this might be rambling. But YES I have all the books, and YES I have written to the author–and he wrote BACK!]

Alright, so, the story goes like this: Christopher Paolini was a fantasy and sci-fi fanboy living in rural Montana and his local library ran out of books for him to read. So at fifteen he decided to write his own book, and he got it published with his parents’ small publishing house. And like, yeah, it contained a lot of obvious shout-outs and homages to books he liked, maybe TOO much, but he worked his butt off promoting it by going to schools and stuff in costume to ask people to buy his book. It got noticed by Carl Hiaasen of Hoot fame, and Knopf picked it up, edited it a bit, and re-released it.

It tells the story of Eragon, a farmboy on the edge of the Empire, who discovers a dragon egg while out hunting. When it hatches, he bonds with the dragon and becomes the newest Dragon Rider, a member of an order wiped out by the current king (who used to be a Rider himself), and goes on a quest to avenge his uncle, find his destiny, and fight the Empire. And stuff.

In overall Plot it’s remarkably like Star Wars. This has been remarked upon. A lot.

This was back in the day when everyone always wanted their favorite books to become movies. So when a movie was announced, we were all pumped. And then the movie came out and it was… eh? Alright, we all hated it. Any original or complex or memorable elements from the book were cut for the movie, which streamlined the Plot into an hour and forty-five minutes. Furthermore, things like the elves and dwarves were reduced to only mentions in the movie–characters who were nonhuman in the books are apparently human in the movie for no discernible reason. Budget, possibly?

Really, lack of budget would explain quite a lot about this film. The design for large chunks of the movie is uninspired–even though the film quality is better, the village and castle sets wouldn’t look out of place in a SyFy original movie from that era (I have no idea of SyFy original movies have been cleaned up since then–I haven’t watched any since those days). There are some cool things like Saphira’s general design, the look of Zar’roc, and the Raz’ac, and if you ever get the deluxe edition of the DVD like I did, the special features show some of the concept art, and there’s some really cool looking stuff. But overall, it doesn’t have a very good visual language, one that sticks out to viewers.

[Side note: Durza looking like a generic evil sorcerer was disappointing, considering I always imagined him looking like superpowered Johnny Rancid from Teen Titans.]

[Other side note: the dragon armor that Arya shows Eragon, or at least the face plate, is not the one we see her wearing in the final battle. Possibly CGI design changed in production.]

I know a lot of people had problems with Saphira’s design in the movie. The feathers, in particular, rubbed people the wrong way. I didn’t mind that much, especially since the wings in the move are BOTH feathered and batlike, which is odd but unique and I think dragons with feathers is a cool idea? I like the fur-like feathers along her back and at her tail better, but look, the feathers are fine.

[Another side note: the tie-in video game did NOT have feathers on Saphira’s wings.]

You know what’s less fine? Her teeth. There are shots in which her teeth look almost human-like, and that’s just plain wrong.

And even worse, just her entire character and role in the story. Antis of the book complained about how she solved problems for Eragon all the time, but she’s weirdly subservient in the movie in a way that’s annoying. It’s explained that if a Rider dies, the dragon will also die, but not the other way around–which isn’t how it worked in the book, and Paolini claims he actually asked them to alter the line when he saw the script, which they didn’t. So the result is Saphira constantly telling Eragon how noble it would be to die for him. It’s annoying, actually.

Speaking of book inaccuracies: the geography. At one point Brom says something like, “And from there it’s a straight shot to the Varden.” Which it’s not, there’s a massive desert in the way. And I thought I’d let this one go because obviously people who haven’t read the book don’t care. But then rewatching this time, I noticed: there’s a map! In Galby’s throne room! We see it! And sure, nobody’s taking notes, but it’s there, and we can see the big friggin’ desert! And that’s never mentioned! What the fudge!

Random criticism: as much fun as it is to watch Brom beat the snot out of Eragon with a stick after Eragon claims he has sword skillz, do you ever notice that at no point does Eragon actually get better at sword fighting? He doesn’t practice, Brom doesn’t really train him. And to be fair, it’s not like the movie expects us to think he got better, because we don’t really see him win any duels. When he fights, he tends to fall back on magic and his big honking dragon, which is fair because I might do the same in his situation.

I remember everyone and their mother saying the performances were bad in this film, other than a couple. I don’t know, I think they’re alright. They’re not good, mostly, but they’re also not really working with great material. The script is mostly wooden, and the editing is WEIRD. It’s pretty obvious that some scenes were shortened for time. Especially noticeable is when Roran leaves (the full scene can be seen on the deluxe DVD, which includes book character Katrina) and when Eragon has his fortune told–seriously, he asks for the name of the “girl” in his future, and then it cuts to him leaving the hut before getting an answer.

Also hang on–Arya is Eragon’s love interest? There was always something _off_ about this in the books, considering the age difference, but that age difference is because she’s an immortal elf over a hundred years old (an element not alluded to in the film). Sienna Guillory is over ten years older than Ed Speelers, and obviously so. She’s clearly in her thirties in this film, which is fine, but what’s less fine is when she’s meant to be the love interest of a character who we’re told is seventeen. 

But back on performances, I think Jeremy Irons as Brom is actually fantastic? He’s fun to watch, has great dialogue, performs his lines well–he’s actually a great part of this movie. Sadly he dies, but he’s great while he is on screen.

The actual worst performance? John Malkovich as King Galbatorix. Galby isn’t in the first book, so he has nothing to do here except to groan about his stone (I know how that sounds and I don’t care) and give orders to Durza. There is no reason for him to be here, and John Malk knows it. He does not care. He’s phoning it in, if even that. It’s amusing in its own way, but it’s also pretty egregious that he sounds like he’s trying to take a nap and the movie’s bothering him.

[Also! The story was that Christopher Paolini had a cameo in the movie as one of the Empire’s soldiers in Farthen Dur at the end that got beheaded, and you bet your bottom dollar that I was looking for it when I was seated in the theater, but alas! His cameo got cut.]

As you can probably tell, I thought this movie was bad, but I mostly made my peace with it. The past few years I find that I’m always scratching my head when I see someone new has made a review to bash this movie, because… well, duh, it’s bad, we all know it. It feels like beating a dead horse. If you haven’t read the book, or if you have and didn’t care that much about it, then the movie is dumb, but it might be fun for you. If you have read the book, and are a fan, you’ve got a 80% chance of hating it.