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#I remember we had one when I was younger
uncanny-tranny · 8 months
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I think as we grow up, we have to be really conscious of romanticizing the world we grew up in in order to scorn how the next generations are growing up.
Nostalgia isn't inherently bad, but especially in political spaces, be very wary of this idea that there is an Ideal Past we must Harken Back To.
It sucks to feel left behind, but such is the human condition. It isn't bad to feel nostalgic, but that doesn't mean that these new generations are inherently "lost" and "need to be saved (by you)", and I think that is very important to remember and try to be conscious of.
#politics#'the world you grew up in no longer exists' frankly... GOOD!#the world i personally grew up in was scary and lonely and traumatizing. no kid today should STILL be growing up like that#the whole 'nostalgia as a poltical means' is rooted in this idea that...#1) we all grew up in a hegemony 2) we all turned out the same 3) the way we grew up had more privileges afforded to us#and i personally like nostalgia! i like watching videocamera videos from 2005 and looking up super specific shit#but nostalgia does not a good world make#INSERT UMBERTO ECO'S FOURTEEN POINTS ON FASCISM#(though i don't always think nostalgia can lead to this in a political sense there is a fine line)#be very mindful of what motivates nostalgiaposting#is it because people miss childhood and how 'simple' it felt? or is there a different reason that motivates this type of posting?#are you romanticizing childhood to the point you are not remembering your childhood /at all/ but the *idea* of it?#and honestly it is SO jarring when my peers are nostalgic because it's like... we aren't even that old!!#it comes across like... the world is hard and it's getting harder and so we cannot chnage and must wistfully think of the past...#...and to me it comes across as almost... doomerist in how end-stage feelings of nostalgia and hopelessness seen#i feel compassion for the impulse to feel like your old life is over and you need to grieve it...#...but certainly that isn't the younger generations fault? especially because WE are now the ones rasing them and we still yet live#(even at our completely decrepit age of not even close to a mid-life crisis (sarcasm and lighthearted))
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cienie-isengardu · 4 months
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Tomas brought that mean talk Bi-Han gave him on himself. Bi-Han only said he's tired of waiting and Tomas went on a speech why that's disrespectful to their dad. Tomas was out of line. Bi-Han should have been even harsher.
Mortal Kombat 1 made it clear that Bi-Han was not at his best mental state. Kuai Liang himself admitted to be aware that his brother’s frustration ran deeply while at the same time apparently neither Scorpion nor Smoke figured out it was their own behavior and treatment of Bi-Han that fueled the frustration in the first place. The one thing the game consequently showed is that whatever Bi-Han will say, be it an opinion about Lin Kuei’s future or just angry complain, all his brothers have to say back to him is father this, tradition that and I think even the most patient person at some point would reach the breaking point. And Bi-Han did reach his, otherwise I doubt he would openly confront Kuai Liang about their father’s death. 
So as much as it is understandable (human) that whenever Tomas or Kuai Liang mentioned father or the tradition Sub-Zero lashed out in frustration, anger alone is a poor excuse for saying mean things - unless in that scene Bi-Han did in fact speak his mind about not considering Smoke to be a true Lin Kuei. Which I doubt is the case, as they were called for the first big job in a while, and looking how
Liu Kang did not recognize Tomas through the whole story mode
Bi-Han had a final say in who is accompanying him, as he rejected aid of Raiden (Fire Lord’s current Champion) and Kung Lao and Liu Kang did not try to impose them on him
I think if Grandmaster truly had an objection to Smoke performing Lin Kuei duty or not deserving being one, he wouldn’t take Tomas on the top priority mission ordered by a very concerned Liu Kang when there were plenty of other more experienced warriors to pick up. Frankly, even if Bi-Han had a doubt about his younger brother’s skills, it wasn’t a baseless assumption, as the infiltration of the enemy's fortress proved Tomas lacks battle experience in that regard. As was seen during his fall after Nitara’s attack - instead of using his powers that literally allowed him to fly, he screamed in panic and using a knife to stop the fall was his second option after instinctively grabbing the wall with his hands failed. Which proves Bi-Han’s point but it didn’t override the decision to include Tomas into Lin Kuei duties. 
But I digress, so let’s come back to the awaiting scene alone. 
Bi-Han: “How long are we expected to linger?" Kuai Liang: “Patience, Bi-Han. There are many demands on Liu Kang's attention." Tomas: "Were he here, Father would advise us to wait without protest."
For one, Tomas did not say anything about Bi-Han being disrespectful to their father nor even to Liu Kang, only that the man would advise them - mind you, them, not Bi-Han alone - to wait as long as needed without a protest. Considering the real possibility that up to his death, their father was the final authority whose words settled any dispute between brothers, Smoke brought an argument to support Kuai Liang’s Patience, Bi-Han. There are many demands on Liu Kang's attention. He simply said what father would do himself in their situation. Something he and Kuai Liang take comfort in, as they held father’s teaching in high regard, while Bi-Han did not recognize the man’s authority any longer - what the younger brothers may know already but still ignore due to their own grief, or Bi-Han up to this moment managed to keep down his frustration under more or less effective control.
This exchange led the discussion away from Liu Kang’s treatment of high-ranked Lin Kuei to the more dangerous subject of father’s teaching and tradition:
Tomas: "Were he here, Father would advise us to wait without protest." Bi-Han: "But now he is gone and I am Grandmaster." Kuai Liang: “His teaching did not pass with him. They should still guide us." Bi-Han: "Guide us, yes. Shackle us, no." Tomas: “We can't abandon tradition." Bi-Han: "Mind your place, Tomas. Father may have taken you in, made you one of us... but your blood will never be Lin Kuei."
For me, Bi-Han’s response was harsher than Tomas’ words deserved, especially as the “your blood will never be Lin Kuei” has nothing to do with the main course of the argument - i.e., following father’s teachings and upholding tradition. If Bi-Han wanted to point out that Tomas is not in position to decide the course of the clan's politics, as it was Grandmaster’s choice alone, he could have said so instead of bringing Tomas’ past. However, at the same time, Sub-Zero’s words could be much harsher and hurtful, for example to deny him the brotherhood or right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons. 
The whole bicker was avoidable or at least could be toned down much better if Tomas did not bring their father into discussion. Considering that Kuai Liang was aware his older brother’s patience is a thin ice due to deep frustration, we can assume Tomas knew that too. I feel like if they acknowledged Bi-Han’s complaint or at least allowed him to vent his anger in peace, none of the following arguments would follow. 
I mean, Liu Kang called Grandmaster for top important mission (capturing Shang Tsung and destroying soulstellers), so we can assume Bi-Han and his brothers drop whatever they were doing at that moment and came ASAP only to be forced to wait for unknown to us period of time - that could be a ten minutes or hours, so Bi-Han’s complaint is not baseless. 
At the same time, I feel it is unfair to accuse Tomas of stepping out of line, as that was no formal meeting and he did not undermine the authority of the Grandmaster and older brother before outsiders. The scene was solely about them and their relationship and if Bi-Han felt comfortable to break out of his Grandmaster’s role to vent his frustration to younger brothers when they were all alone, Tomas had the same right to feel comfortable enough to state his opinion in the following discussion. This is them being brothers not the leader and subordinates, the way they were during the war meeting with Liu Kang.
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Please, note, Bi-Han  as Grandmaster is singled out and to whom Fire Lord addresses only, while Smoke and Scorpion stood in their place in silence and won’t speak until the meeting is officially over, i.e. after Sub-Zero’s final decision (“We will leave immediately”). If Tomas spoke during that meeting anything contradictoring Sub-Zero’s words, even if his words were correct, then yes, that would be stepping out of line and deserves any lecture the Grandmaster would consider fitting or even dealing with Tomas’ behavior once they returned to home. 
But during the moment between brothers alone from any outsiders? It is different situation, different power balance to begin with (and really, if they didn’t feel comfortable in each company and didn’t consider waiting together as the quiet moment between just them as brothers, outside the clan politics, I doubt Tomas and Kuai Liang would sit while Bi-Han, their leader, was standing).
Did Smoke really need to bring their father into discussion, especially if he knew the late Grandmaster was a sensitive topic around Bi-Han? It could be easier to just avoid that topic however if we can acknowledge Sub-Zero’s frustration as the reason for his harsh behavior and lashing out in anger, I feel we should also acknowledge that Tomas, the same as Kuai Liang, was a son mourning the loss of father. As Smoke and Scorpion had no idea about Bi-Han’s (passive) role in their father’s death, and we don’t have an idea how long time passed since that incident, so there is a chance it was still recent occurrence and the brothers tried - and failed - to find a common ground between Sub-Zero’s ambitions and Smoke & Kuai Liang’s mourning.
Maybe Tomas was so wrapped up in his grief, he didn’t care or didn’t notice he was provoking Bi-Han? Maybe he on purpose kept bringing the late Grandmaster (tradition) into discussion to force his brother to talk about their father, because grieving people sometimes avoid talking about the dead and he did not want repeat what happened to him not speaking about mother and sister, as intro dialogue implied he did not talk about his biological family after their death (Scorpion: You never speak of your mother and sister.)
For me personally, this scene is not about who stepped out the line and who should be lectured, but rather a needed indication from the narration point that the brothers are drifting apart after their father’s death. Both sides have said things that rubbed the other in the wrong way (hearing non stop about father and tradition adds fuel to Bi-Han’s frustration, Tomas’s hearing no matter how hard he will try, he will never be a true Lin Kuei hits into his sense of self-worth), but even the closest siblings sometimes argue and it happened here.
The argument should not even happen in the first place, and maybe would not happen in any normal circumstances  but since Bi-Han and Tomas and Kuai Liang are affected by things outside their control - frustration and mourning respectively - it is understandable the heavy emotions led them to clashed over relatively small things. 
If there is one thing to say for sure, they have some serious communication problems and that is only partially about Bi-Han not saving their father and lying about that. The story mode showed us Bi-Han trying to explain his reasoning - and as much as game keeps his arguments as vague as possible, he still openly states what he wants for Lin Kuei and himself, while his brothers cling to "tradition" and "father said so" but won't present any countrarguments why those things should matters. Which is a major problem, as both sides want different things and can't find a common ground to agree on.
So no, I don't think Tomas was at fault in this scene, at least not in the sense he wanted to hurt Bi-Han by bringing father into discussion, the same as I don't think Bi-Han should be harsher. What they should have done was to talk about the issue in peace and work out the solution, but alas they weren't given a time nor opportunity until it was too late.
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ryssbelle · 2 months
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My cousins made their own troll Ocs and I drew them in my style.
They were very excited about it
#my art#not my art#both#trolls#dreamworks trolls#they had a lot of fun making these#i actually really love the color palette for princess i think my cpusin did a very good job on that#claw is something else#he is a unicorn troll#neon green was an interesting choice but hey claw is an interesting guy#is it obvious idk how to draw country trolls lmao#ever since i told them i also liked trolls we have had our own little club#im their person who they can talk to about it#they will also just sit and ask me to draw tiny diamond and guy diamond over and over and over and over and over again#they really like tiny diamond#but hey i love those little guys so i draw the trolls they demand of me#they also asked me to draw poppy and branch so they could color them#i still have to finish my viva coloring page for them#the younger of the two who made princess is really good at color picking and color matching#she colored poppy without a ref and its p accurate to her colors#the older one who made claw used the ref for every color but he got pretty close when he tried to guess#the older one also misunderstood me when i said id been practicing art since i was 5 and thought i was this good since i was 5#he was very depressed for about 15 minutes#it was really funny but dw i assured him that was not the case#but like for those 15 min he did not believe me#even his sister was like 'nono you didnt hear it right' but he was already in the emo zone#he was fine later tho and continued on making his troll#and also proud teacher moment but i had taught princesses creator some art techniques off handedly#not expecting her to remember any of it but then she did and apparent shes been using it ever since#im like omg i actually taught another human bsing something its insane
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skeletalheartattack · 10 months
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re: your recent tags about the gameboy sp! that boy's got headphone adapters i POMISE!!!
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the magic of modern science. wow...
#ask#sapphicdroid#i did look it up to fact check myself after i reblogged the post and saw the adapters#honestly when i was younger i never knew it didnt have a headphone jack#granted the only time i ever saw one in person was on the school bus with a friend#he played pokemon blue on it and i dont remember the details of all that went on during#i mightve also seen another kid on the bus play pokemon emerald. i dont remember.#however that was my first exposure to gen 3 pokemon. as a kid i only knew about Red Blue Yellow and Crystal#my brothers had Red and Blue. and so thusly i have both games now. i... dont know where my copy of Red is though.#i have a copy of Yellow from Ebay but it loses its memory sometimes. which i think is why it was put on Ebay in the first place#Crystal however? well first i knew of gen 2 through pokemon stadium 2#we had both pokemon stadiums for the n64. or. well. still do have them.#speaking of. sure does suck to go through the gym leaders and elite 4 in those games. mostly due to how long rounds are.#emulated it a while back and i had to use the fast forward feature a lot#anyway. Crystal. somehow i got my copy from a random coat in a clothing store. just. in the pocket.#i dont know how i managed to find it. it was either in a coat my mom was looking at or i was looking through pockets... probably the former#anyway within like a week. a kid in 3rd grade stole it from me#i... think i got to the elite 4? i remember getting to the last dude with the charizard. forgive me for forgetting his name.#but like right after i had it stolen. i got on the bus and vented to my friend and he was like ''oh i have two copies of crystal''#and then gave his second copy to me. i forget if it was on the day of or if it was the next day.#anyway that same day it got stolen again. by the same kid. that kid stole so much shit from me#he switched schools the next year so i couldnt do anything about it#i have uhhh... soul silver now. so its not that big of a deal these days#anyway thank you for the ask :) i appreciate you telling me anyway
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skyburger · 2 months
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"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die
#i had to google horror games after i thought really hard for silent hill and fnaf#because like. resident evil is just not a horror game in my mind... its just cool zombie game...#to be fair though. the only one i actually played a portion of was re6 which is probably the least scary one in the whole series#anyway do the kids still find silent hill and fnaf scary. i dont know.#well the former id say yes given how prevalent ps1 horror has been in recent years#fnaf i have no idea. im a massive wuss so its scary when i play it for myself#but watching someone else play them especially when i know them well isnt scary#and ive watched fnaf videos for YEARS#so i dont know. (old man voice) these damn kids... back in my day we watched markiplier scream at freddy fazbear and we LIKED it!#anyway its objectively a horror game and thata literally fine thats all i needed for this post#MY POINT HERE. my point here#IS THAT HIT ZACK AND WIKI LEVEL KEEPER OF THE ICE. IS SOOOOO SCARY#its not that scary but i see tjat level and im like 3 years old making my mom play this level for me again#and for the record yes me and my sister really did make our mom help us with z&w#she remembers helping us with frost breath the most because we like did notttttt get that one at all#and she could never remember how to do the mirrors based on what combination of stands is there (because tjeres like a few variations)#so she always had to look up a guide 😭😭#my poor mother on fucking gamefaqs or something in like 2010... legends only#anyway if you have no idea what level im talking about (any of my oomfs reading this that isnt end) (hi end) PLEASE look up this level#and i need you to think of like a 5(?) year old making her mom play this game.#this aforementioned child is still a massive wuss as an adult btw. some things never change#anyway watch that level and think about how someone like me. whos already a scaredy cat!#imagine how someone like me felt at age 5 possibly younger playing this level#I WISH I COULD LIKE CONVEY EMOTIONS OVER TUMBLR. why cant i attach a .emotion file to this post#anyway ramble over <- hes said that like a million times today#scariest level in a game ever...!!!!! FUCK that keeper of the ice bitch im GLAD he died#muffin mumbles
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cervinelich · 6 months
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my boomer trait is that I cannot believe I am seeing young people listening to Tiktoks, music or online learning courses at full volume in public
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squuote · 8 months
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I just got reminded that baldis basics exists do not talk to me I’m going through the memory zone of my own creation
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niishi · 4 months
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Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears
vs.
chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all
vs.
ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair
#im gonna kms#its an every day issue#i dont have this problem when i have short hair#but i HATE feeling judged i get so hyperfocused on it and it makes me so sad and i cant cope w it tbh#its something i work tirelessly to change by trying to be mindful and not give a fuck but#its HARD#so many ppl express how much they like my long hair better and I just wish they'd keep it to themselves#bc now im like rlly insecure about having short hair again#idk.... i remember back in the day when i was working at the smoke shop and had short hair#there were a bunch of girls who would express how good it looked and how theyve always wanted short hair but#their face was too fat or it wouldnt look good on them#and i would encourage them and tell them if its what you want and it would make you happy then it will always suit you and look good#no one in this world has a “face” for short hair#all of our faces suit whatever hair we want for ourselves#but pol have this opinion based off of society constructed beauty standards#and will just outright way or imply#that you look better following those standards#i think ppl should find happiness and self confidence more attractive than adherence to beauty standards#i successfully convinced one of my coworkers and an old and younger customer to cut their hair short#and they were so bright and excited to show me after they did it#and i hyped them up to hell and back like it made me emotional bc it takes courage to embrace your happiness#despite others judgements#im just#not as brave anymore#im rlly tired tbh#anyways srry im just emotional bc my head hurts and im overstimulated from my hair touching my neck jshfjekduriwj
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shoechoe · 9 days
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I only lurked on the Internet for a long time and still do not post on most websites I visit but it really is nice to have a place where I can talk about things like animated shows and music and other assorted interests without being judged
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I’ll make myself tea, drink half of it, forget it, and then be less sure what i want to do when I find it again three hours later
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britneyshakespeare · 2 months
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hey wait. so if you grow up as an only child or with siblings who like the same tv as you how do you learn tolerance?
#that football poll really made me reflect on how much tv i've had on in the background that was just absolute white noise to me#altho back when we were all younger there were more tvs in the house. mostly small ones#there was one i remember vividly that was like only a foot wide. it sometimes moved around#it had a vcr player in the bottom#i so clearly remember watching lizzie mcguire on it while discovering if you smash a marker youre coloring w#all the ink comes out at once. but then youre left wo it being pointy at the end#and that tv could be moved around. i remember watching shrek on it in my mudroom once lol#i also remember watching whose line is it anyway and not understanding improv but just seeing the men sit in chairs#and stand up and just looking at the colorful background. it was somehow still entertaining to me i dont remember AT ALL why#tales from diana#one thing that is somewhat understandable to me from what i understand about childhood entertainment in the streaming era#is that children THANK GOD still seem to fight w their siblings about what to watch on tv#they just dont even say 'on tv' they say 'on disney plus'#it shouldnt feel so strange to me but i just cant imagine coming home from school and selecting something from a list of programs#and then watching that in full without commercials. i'm like what. that's not tv#you're supposed to get home in the middle of an episode of spongebob that they play twice a week and quote along w it like karaoke#youre supposed to argue and flip back and forth one thing and another when one turns to a commercial break#THATS AMERICA!!!!!
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gurorori · 3 months
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i say this with utmost seriousness i wish i was employed
#i need income so badly but im terrified of the prospects of havin 2 live independently but otherwise bein abused 2 death is the only option#:[ im so scared i wish things were easier#it doesn help when they constantly talk abt our neighbor slash childhood bestie whos jus a bit younger than us but alrdy has like#most of her life sorted out shes workin n studyin n they got her a car 4 hwr bday n she has a boyfriend n they r movin out next month#a middle class family btw with two alive parents yadda yadda. her tuition is effortlessly paid n she works on da side 4 her own expenses#n it's like first of all im nawt a well off cis girl. second of all she had qn actual support system n an upbringing — we didn't#i literally vaguely remember spendin most of our childhood n early teens over at her apartment since it was literally two steps away#they'd let us stay 4 hours cuz they felt bad 4 us n they dunno the whole story but they kno we r one of those 'unfortunate' families lol#but yeah the difference between us is night & day. it honestly feels a little crazy since we live literally on the same floor of the same#building despite the feasible differences. idk if dats a good or a bad thing#im jus tired of bein compared 2 her cuz we were failed on so many levels by everyone in our life who was supposed to care 4 us#meanwhile she's an average white blonde girl with a good life by here's standards#i wish we were still close but it became hard approaching teens... still we owr majority of our happy childhood memories 2 hangin out @ her#house or goin places w their family. it almost kinda felt like we were part of it but ik im. exaggeratin#yea idk why i ranted but um i need a job or ill die i think#mika caws
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unproduciblesmackdown · 10 months
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similar to the greentext stuff - i was visiting with my neighbors and their grandkids were around, and I said to this eight year old, "Hey, you wanna know something cool? I was playing the game when the Endermen came out." and his eyes went wide, like this kid looked like i told him i landed on the moon. His grandma thought it was really funny, and she said she has no idea what i'm talking about, but her grandbabies do, and that's incredible to her.
oh that's fun lmao, when minecraft & that update's existed for more than your whole life, and yknow being that young and like Next Year fr is this huge time scale away, a couple of years is a quarter of your life thus far and like maybe nigh half of the part of your life you actually have longterm memories for....i was checking out this dev's blog's archives about a:tdd's release in 2010 & in one entry they compared the implicitly Roughly concurrent release of Minecraft and i was like hey whoah. forever primarily being a game i've Heard Of more than any more direct exposure so i had no precise sense of [before minecraft release] [after minecraft release] Year 0 there but it's like for sure back in thee day when minecraft was a new thing, huh
#add in that [i also basically Heard Of mass effect but that's a game series w/a 2010 median which i had Any knowledge abt already]#so i have that reference point for a still like [niche video for When You've Played These Games For Sure] there but then like#if you were ten or even 5 yrs younger at the time you May Well Be much more at sea as your starting point there#(but i mean not that much; i didn't know a ton. reread those wikipedia plot summaries myself)#enderman came out? happy pride#shoutout to this one time i crossed paths w/this kid who was at the time probably like late middle school early high school age#who started talking abt pokemon like Clearly A Big Interest and i'm like my only Direct experience is playing pokemon go but i know Some#stuff b/c i was 5 in '99 when it was first making that huge splash lol. can make Some remarks....but also just Listening Attentively To You#Monologue like uh huh go off....i sure remember like the Sense of a couple yr's sagacity like being 9 i think reading a book abt 6th or 7th#graders (i.e. two or three yrs older) like My God They Must Be So Mature....#and like ofc when skimming passages as an adult it's like omg l'enfants. Both Perspectives Being Accurate respectively lol#my vintage experiences like i've def saved things on the floppy discs of [save icons imagery]. have heard the dialup tones organically....#but also; say; Home Computers That You Didn't Really Need To Know Much Abt Computers To Use were forever an everyday thing for me#having been born mid '90s....vs like in the '80s being nicher but also like. the programs to amateur code not being As Complex either#like [working on cars] of yore vs more modernly lmao....plus ofc in their designs; opening up a desktop Tower vs what? a tablet??#ppl my age who had more substantial Online Access earlier than i did maybe having at least picked up some html; which i did not lol#also didn't have too much Gamer Experience ever; what i did largely desktop then laptop pc wasd+mouse style....#didn't have a smartphone till maybe 5 yrs after they were starting to become more commonplace#vs that again to an 8 yr old of today [commonplacer smartphones] is your whole life basically too. i remember when we flipped those phones.#(i do fr lol. did have one of those first for a good while.)#granpa granpa....mh being fourteen yrs old meaning like the Teen Fans of Today were probably not watching it as it aired lol#whereas i Was that teen fan of those yesteryears. and all my stories for it like fuckin uhhhhhh [crickets chirping] [studio audience laugh]#though You Don't Need The Fans like mh is a long movie ppl can newly discover Whenever that holds up; plus it has bonus lore#mostly what i could even Possibly bring is just the particularly nicher older bonus lore. but like grandpa simpson (the simpsons) for sure#which is to say: humorously irrelevant & perhaps somewhat cantankerous#whilest i'm vaguely aware there may have also been that minecraft resurgence (esp through streaming?) from 2020 on....#but evidently Like Mh something that continually revives / takes on New Fans / Participants#for sure i might well be playing some tf2 myself if i had the technical capability (i would have the poor personal ability i always did lol#real games of yore but it never gets old also. though i know Of Late there was a bot problem / just neglected maintenance? that get fixed?#These Have Been The Tag Tangents. maxed out thirty tags i know that's right
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puppybearuniverse · 4 months
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thinking about the tragedy that is never truly getting to be close with my family. i feel guilty about it sometimes. but then i remember how hard I've tried, my entire life, to connect. and i remember the things they did to me in return. and i remember that it's okay not to have a relationship with them.
#especially my sister. we were so close when she was younger.#then she fell down the alt right pipeline#then she got better! and we got along really well!#and now she lies and schemes and manipulates like it's her job. almost everyone i know fell victim to her wake in some way#and it sucks you know? because i feel like i knew her heart. but one day she just changed.#trying to kill me for having a friend over while she was at work was my last straw.#i spent years and months begging her to spend any amount of time with me. and when she entered her manipulate era i tried to distance#but i still felt so much love for her. i still felt the need to have some connection.#and then came november. after a month of me being gone - one of the first things she did was try to kill me.#because i had a friend over. while she was at work.#now i feel a dislike for her like i would anyone who acted so horribly.#i feel disgusted when she talks to our mother all sweet like she doesnt lie to her every day.#growing up she was the favourite and anyone can tell.#as an adult she uses that as best she can.#she's been watching total drama lately. i can hear it from her room. it used to be my favourite show when we were young.#i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if she cares.#it's so strange to feel the way i feel about all of this.#i want her to mourn our relationship the same way i do. i want her to remember that i tried and she had every chance to reciprocate.#i don't know. it's all so complicated. and sometimes it still hurts.#wiggle
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wetbananapeel · 7 months
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First gourd (and radish) I carved in my life 31 October 2019
#the drawing I class i was in in undergrad had a pumpkin carving day that year#i decided to be rebellious and buy a pumpkin to carve for the first time but when i went to the store there were no more pumpkins :')#so i got a gourd and a little skeleton for inside caude i wanted a scene#it was the first time i had carved anything for Halloween ever and i remember feeling so sinful at the time#there was this one person Maddie who was also giving tarot card readings and they were one of my major events(?) to realize i was gay#i didnt get a reading from them cause i was scared that was going too far and I would be too far gone messing with the 'occult'#and they made me nervous but i wanted more and couldnt figure out why (i chalked it up to them being 'cool' and wanting to be their friend)#anyways maddie gave me the radish cause they also didnt bring a pumpkin and had two radishes (cause they were buy 1 get 1) from Winn Dixie#i still think about maddie now and we talk sporadically i told them if they're ever in Chicago to come and visit me but they live in Canada#their art inspires me and i believe they could design a fantasy game or novel because of their work (i own a weird little dog of theirs)#i never mentioned anything to them at the time about being infatuated with them in class and i doubt i would now bc our life goals dont mesh#but i consider them to play a important role in my life and i appreciated the radish and wish i got the readings done#its wild how much growth can happen in just a few years -- i bought a mini pumpkin in September because i wanted to celebrate early#back then when i got home the gourd and radish was forcibly thrown away (and i didn't dare tell of my encounters in class with the lesbian!)#(i hold that memory in my heart & think of it fondly cause i hadnt realized yet i have much compassion for younger me who was never sinful)#now in grad school there is a new Maddie 🍈 who told me she didnt know why she keeps looking at my face in class and i think i know why#but she has yet to get there <3
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coffiicorgii · 1 year
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Reblogged your art and read your tags.
Same. SAME.
Jango Fett has been in my mind since I first saw him as a child and I can rightfully say he is my first and forever love. I hope you'll consider more art appreciation for Jango in a sea of Boba Fett, The Mandalorian art!
*big hugs for you* ♥
Ahh yay! :D It’s great to see another Jango Fett enjoyer!! I really liked him as a kid too, but I only realized what a cool character he is a little over a year ago when I got back into Star Wars and finally read his legends backstory. (On that note BLESS Filoni and the people working on the mandalorian for re-canonizing Jango being a real mandalorian and also making Jaster canon <3)
He’s such an underrated character tbh, he deserves more attention and love from mandalorian enjoyers 🥺… And if no one else is going to do it I will absolutely do it myself!!! >:D you have enabled me to draw him more now, so you can definitely expect some more Jango art from me haha 💙
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