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royalydamned · 3 years

Text

SOAKED

|Mycroft Holmes x Reader|

|AN|: I haven't written one shot, let alone something x reader in like? two years? maybe? Reader is written as non-specified gender and is only referred to as "you" , so no pronouns for reader. My love for Mycroft suddenly hit me like a truck after years so I had to contribute.

Summary: Bit of rain, whole lot of feelings, and one love confession. Maybe storms aren't that bad, if they show you that you are worthy of love after all. In Mycroft's case for sure.

Mycroft sighed as he rubbed his tired eyes. The clock on the wall in front of him showed early afternoon, yet cold and darkness spread outside of his windows as the sun hid behind heavy clouds early in the morning. Peaceful but gloomy day. Still, the heavy pounding of rain against the glass of widows and road, as well as the rustle of the wet trees in the wind was oddly peaceful and comforting. He had a hard day of work behind him, and another evening of more work ahead, just another weak attempt to distract himself from a foul mood he was put in because of the complications that came with the weather.

Important plans, well, to him at least. He was supposed to get to see you.

A busy man he was, that wasn't even up for a question. His schedule tightly packed with meetings, paperwork and more than occasional fixing of his brother's mess, or just simply preventing it, it left a very little time for pleasant distractions such as a quiet time spend with delicious cup of tea and your sweet smile. Today was not the day for distraction it seemed, certainly not as big as your company, that left him flustered and distracted hours after you said your goodbyes.

Your meetings were always a special occasion, even if they were short, brief and unfrequent because of how far you lived, Mycroft always cherished them for weeks following, replaying your lovely laugh and almost sparkling eyes in his head as he woke up and texted you a good morning message, or as he layed down to sleep and wished you sweet dreams.

He might have...cared. For you, your happiness, your well being. Much more than he would ever admit, to others that is. Inside his own mind, he knew far too well how utterly enamored he was with you.

The eldest Holmes wasn't the one to act, God forbid act upon his feelings. He could watch you, with crushing ache in his heart and deep longing as you always talked about your newest acquaintanceship, secretly wishing you held the same sentiments as he did.

You never seemed to have a shortage of suitors at your heels, one better looking that the other, with charming smiles and magnetic personas. Likeable, social, just as you deserved. While he--, well, there was no need to ruin his day further with self-describtions. He knew very well how others percieved him and how he looked. Sherlock never failed to remind him if he occasionally forgot.

Mycroft Holmes was aware, that he was nothing anyone would have ever wanted.

The relationship the two of you had now was more than he could ask for, in all honesty. Time spent together, secrets shared in quiet moments and deep trust you held, it was enough. It was all he needed, if he still could watch over you.

Outside a thunder struck, pulling him from the spiral of thoughts that he always seemed to fall into in the loneliest moments. With a deep sigh he stood up from behind his desk, eyes burning from how long he stared into the bright computer screen, and made his way downstairs into the liquor cabinet. He deserved a small break.

His house was dark, almost like a nighttime had fallen outside, but he didn't bother turning on the lights, instead he carefully climbed down the stairs, gripping the wooden railing at the side for security. By the end of the staircase, he deeply regretted his foolish decision, but before he could make even one step towards the nearest lightswitch, a doorbell stopped him.

Confused, he opened the door, only praying not to see his younger brother and his babysitter standing outside, as he had no intention nor the mood to put up with his obnoxious antics this afternoon, but instead his eyes landed on you.

A soft surpised gasp escaped his mouth as he saw you on his doorstep, shivering with cold, your clothes completely soaked, excess droplets falling on your face and the tiles outside, and arms cluthing yourself for the tiniest bit of warmth.

"|Y/N|?" He asked in quiet disbelief, almost as if he thought he was imagining you.

"We agreed to meet after too long, like hell a bit of rain would stop me," you replied with a victorious grin, lips almost purple from the cold and your whole body visibly trembling.

"Foolish," he muttered pulling you gently inside from the atrocious weather. "You are completely soaked."

"You apparently have that effect on me," you smirked, the witty remark escaping your lips without control, and Mycroft was glad you couldn't see the embarrassed shade his cheeks caught. "No, but really, I walked most of the time. You know the tube is too far away from your place, and I didn't have enough money for a cab, I figured it isn't going to be that bad."

"It was."

"It was," you agreed, rubbing your hands together in quick motions, trying to gain the feeling back into your fingers.

"You should change or else you'll catch cold, come." You let him grab your hand, his skin pleasantly warm against your cold numbed one. He tried to think about anything else rather than the feeling of your connected hands, there were more important things now than such minor distractions. The image of you walking outside in the storm, just to see him. Just to be with him. It sent the most pleasant feeling into his stomach, the idea that maybe, he was almost as important to you as you were to him. But that was nothing but a wishful thinking, a desire of a naive man, and that is not who Mycroft was. There was no need for false hopes and embellished reality.

He lead you into his bedroom, the idea of what it would normally mean coloring his cheeks, but he ignored those intrusive thoughts, focusing on helping you warm up in any way possible. "You have to change into dry clothes. Mine should be sufficient for now."

"Alright." Came your voice from behind him, and he turned around to see your topless form.

His breath hitched as he quickly dropped his gaze onto the floor, trying to keep the image he saw out of his mind, out of respect for you. No matter how badly he wished to remember it. Your skin glistening with water, body hiding under the clothes he strangely found himself craving, too primal and illogical for himself to admit. It was too hard keeping his head clear, with the sight from a few seconds ago burned into his brain, unable to ignore, unablet to forget, twisting his inside it certain ways he rarely felt before.

"I will wait outside," he stated finally, pushing the neatly folded pile of clothing towards you without looking up in the slightest, and left the room.

When he shut the door after him, he finally felt like he could breathe easily again. Leaning against the doorframe, replaying the moment again and again, against his own better judgemnet, without the willpower to stop himself, and gulped heavily, trying to get rid of the strange sensation inside of him.

It was like his feelings weren't enough. Like the fact that he, after all, wasn't too different to others, as he was so deeply affected by the helpless emotions of love and how deeply he was hurting with every moment without you. So depended on your presence bringing him joy. Now he steeped so low as physical attraction, pure desire of your touch and your body. He would mock himself if he could, you were just too much.

A soft click of the doorknob caught his attention, and stayed almost staring, asking himself over and over again, why does he love the sight of you in his clothes so much.

You hugged yourself tightly, still trembling significanty, but now at least rid of the wet clothes, and smiled up at him, with warmth only you could muster at such a moment. "This is much better, thank you. Sorry for such complications."

"Nonsense," he huffed almost annoyed, like your health would ever be a complication. To him. Ridiculous. "Come, I think fire and a nice cup of tea will warm you up." Placing a hand on the small of your back, he led you back downstairs, where the big fireplace was. The close proximity the gesture put you in flustered you both, but Mycroft didn't want to let go. And neither did you.

You turned to him, looking up into his face, smiling mischieviously when he caught your eyes. "Don't you have anything stronger?"

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards, strongly liking your idea. "Your wish is my command."

Downstairs, he found the thickest blanket he had, tightly wrapping it around your shoulders, and you snuggled into its comfort immediately, watching him struggle to start a fire.

"I suppose you aren't the one for camping," you mused with a small smile, giggling shortly at his grimace.

"My, how could you possibly deduce that?" A tiny flame sparked inside, dacing across the thick logs of wood before disappearing under them, and growing rapidly. Mycroft stood up from the ground, dusting off the dirt and ashes from his hands and clothes, and looked rather proudly at his work.

"I guess I was wrong. You are full of surprises, Mr. Holmes." A warm light from the fireplace illuminated your features, the growing flames sparkling in your eyes, and Mycroft stayed just to watch. He didn't believe in perfection, that concept was unachievable and he never believed in such terms, but as he watched you in this moment, hair frizzy as they were drying from the water, the messy strands falling into your face, and just then as he watched the orange light color your skin with small smile on your lips , he though you were the only one that came close.

"Well," he inhaled sharply, pulling himself from the love-sick trance, and smiled back at you, the expression coming off more forced than it really was. "I shall go and fetch us something to drink."

Later he came back with two short glasses and bottle of a still unopened liquor bottle, sealed with silver paper and a stamp of the highest quality, almost unnoticable smile playing on his lips as he made his way back to you, where you set cross-legged on the little carpet right in front of the fire. He copied your position, awkardly folding his legs, your knees almost touching, and placed the two glasses into the space between you.

"I'm just," he started unsurely, pouring each of you a glass with impressive precision in the amount, and looked at you again, almost shyly. "I'm very glad we got to spend our evening together after all."

"I'm very glad as well Mycroft," you answered, a fond look in your eyes as you looked at the man in front of you and raised your glass in a silent gesture. He repeated the motion, nodding his head courtly your direction, and took a small sip, watching you in astonishment as you drank it all at once. "Getting warmer already," you laughed, watching the smile on his face widen at your comment and poured you another glass.

You set together for what felt like hours, and maybe it was, in comfortable silence by the melody of the cracking fire beside you, the bottle almost fully drank and the personal space between you long gone. Your feet were tangled together in the middle, knees pressed against each other, both supporting your heads on your hands as you talked, with blissful smiles and faces almost too close.

Mycroft adjusted his posture, resting his chin on his connected hands supported on his thighs as he watched you attentively, noticing and drinking in every detail of your face, your voice your tipsy mannerisms. He could never tear his gaze off you, you were captivating, like a mysterious painting hanging in the gallery, attracting everyone to look, to try to figure it out, and know everything about it. But he knew everything about you, and still he wanted to learn even more. Secrets you never told him, things he simply couldn't just see. Every morning he wanted to see your face, to give him the strenght to go through it, and ever evening he wanted to come back to it, because you felt like home. And Mycroft hated himself for being so melodramatic. This wasn't him, all these thoughts, all these emotions, they were stronger than his healthy judgement, which was already clouded by alcohol.

"Wasn't your partner worried, just going outside in such a storm?" You huffed out a breath, both amusement and annoyance mixing in that display of emotion, and Mycroft quite couldn't place, what it meant.

"We broke up several days ago."

"I am very sorry to hear that," he said genuinely, even though inside he felt selfish joy that he won't have to hear about yet another perfect match for you, another reminder of everything he wasn't. And could never be. Nothing you wanted nor needed.

"Don't be, nobody I met yet was really for me," you mumbled, dropping your eyes into the empty glass in your hands, brows furrowed in deep thought.

"Why is that?" He took the last sip from his glass and carefully set it on the coffee table by his side, his full attention at you again.

"When you meet so many people, good-looking, charming and kind people, but none of them fits you, none of them is right because you set impossible standard, almost unachievable by most people." You set aside your own glass, shifting even closer to him, hearing how he took in a sharp breath, hesitantly straightening his back.

"That must happen when one deserves perfection," he answered looking longinly into your eyes, unable to look away. You were truly hypnotising, the only thing he could look at hours without a break and never get tired. The only person he grew to love so deeply. Truly one of a kind.

"Oh, not perfection, heavens no," you laghed, throwing your head back a little at that, and he still couldn't look away. Why was it so amusing, someone as perfect, as flawless, deserved nothing less than the same. "The thing being, that it's too far from perfection, and in a world where people desire nothing more than to eliminate their flaws, something perfectly imperfect is unachievable."

You leaned closer to him, licking your lips, already pink and sweet again, without realizing, and he almost lost his control. Swallowing heavily, he forced himself to look back into your eyes, trying to forget about the questions appearing in his mind. How would your lips possibly taste? How would it feel having you so close? Heating you up with his own body, blanket too long forgotten?

He couldn't think that way. He had to collect himself, but he didn't know how. Subconciously, he leaned in as well, the gap between your faces just inches apart, your breaths almost shared in one, and it felt like he was dreaming. If that was the truth, he never wanted to wake up.

"They all lacked just one thing though," you whispered, placing your hand on his leg for support, making Mycroft to freeze completely, too disturbed by the contact and the overwhelming heat it sent through his body to think about anything else.

"That being?" he forced himself to say, his throat tight and voice quiet, almost as if he had lost his breath.

"They just weren't...you." A simple statement, a plain sentence bearing more meaning than most conversations he had been part of. His gaze abruptly shot back up, cathing he own almost instantly, but no words made their way out. He couldn't talk nor move, shock too obvious on his features, that even a child would know.

His hands moved on his own, the other times brilliant brain, his biggest pride during his whole life now shut off by a few simple words, his body moving without a single though. Your cheek was warm already, burning hot under his skin as he gently caressed it, moving out a fallen strand from your face, tracing your cheekbone with his thumb like you were the most fragile thing in the world.

"May I kiss you?" you breathed out, your eyes looking up at him, sparkling with emotion he thought he would never see in them, and he nodded, fulfilling himself the one wish that seemed too impossible for a realistic man to hold.

Your lips met in the middle, slow and hesitant as you both silently prayed you wouldn't wake u in the middle of the nigh and find out it was yet another dream.

He sighed deeply into the kiss as you moved to sit in his lap and deepened the kiss, pressing your lips against his more roughly, more needily, hands carefully placed on his neck and your whole body so deliciously pressed against his. So hot and soft, an opposite picture to your arrival, sinding the most pleasant shivers through his whole body with every slight movement in his arms. Mycroft's arms ended up wrapped around your waist, tightly cluthing your body to his like he was afraid you would leave. He couldn't let go. He never wanted to let go.

After a short while, seconds, maybe minutes, he didn't know, the best moments of his life, you pulled away, only slightly to cath your breath, and rested your own forehead against his. He could smell the rain in your hair and your unique scent all around him, and he wanted to remember it all. Every single detail, to replay it, to dream it. To live it.

"I love you," he said quietly, too long of a silence from his last words, and finally gather up the courage to open his eyes and look at you again. At your glowing eyes and wide smile, at your messy hair and body tangled in his blanket, in his own gaze, you were the perfect everyone seeked.

"I love you too Mycroft."

And he never wanted to hear a sentence repeated so much as in that moment. Fortunately, you would never get tired of saying it.

#mycroft holmes #mycroft holmes x reader #sherlock #sherlock bbc

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idjitlili · 3 years

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Your eyes can be so cruel.

Kili x reader

Summary: Being apart of the company, and growing close to Kili. After stopping at an inn, some drunk men, decide to pick at Kili's appearance. Words from Bowie come into favour.

A/n: Requested by Thatfoolishhuman I have seen this idea a lot for Kili, but I'lol make it my own :) Also I'm British, so don't be mad at my spelling. FIRST IMAGINE OF 2021

Word count:3375

Warnings: Listened to David Bowie while writing this, sorry Bowie you just too handsome. Swearing.

Songs in order: rebel rebel, as the world falls down.

There was perks from travelling with your parents; due to business. The most frequent place you'd go was Tortuga, it was a quite a large village. Every time that you'd go, you and your parents stayed in an inn, which had a pub connected to it.

You'd eat with your parents in there, before all the drunks arrived, it was also a Saturday that you'd go. Saturdays meant that a song writer, and singer in one , was always there. His name being Jareth, he was a very beautiful man, in honesty one of the best musicians, in history.

Jareth was a skinny man, had a huge blond mullet, beautiful eyes one pupil larger than the other, beautiful accent, beautiful everything. Who couldn't have a crush on Jareth, his songs were like none other.

These trips started when you were 5, when your parents business finally picked up, all the way up until you came to age. Which is when you joined the company, due to Gandalf.

You didn't think you'd ever see Jareth again, but you do. You had undoubtedly had a crush on the singer growing up, you had almost forgotten about him when you joined the company.

Personally you didn't know Gandalf very well, not like your parents did, but he recruited you for an adventure, how could you deny it. A chance to see elves, dwarves, dragons? No way you was going to pass up that chance, no way.

You were surprised when the company had picked up, after getting Bilbo, since you lived on the way. Scary yes, not knowing any of these people, a chance at getting friends, you could only hope.

Strange was to say the least, you had seen a couple of dwarves growing up , that was just in pubs mostly. The were always not so pleasant, but these dwarves, plump and strikingly handsome. That hobbit? Bilbo that didn't take long for you to become friends, being shy didn't help, but some how you managed.

Dwarves were were quite scary; to say the least they intimidated you.

That was until a particularly rainy day, when the mud was like cake batter. Thorin had decided it was time to stop for the night, the rain hammering down, lightning even, every now and then.

Everyone was getting off their pony's, as were you, you was about to step down, when a huge crack of thunder was sounded above you. Damn you Thor. You had jumped, slipping on the mud, but you never hit the floor, instead you into strong arms.

Looking up , drips of water from dark hair had dripped on you, as Kili looked down at you. Your feet upwards, like a trust fall, you had smiled in embarrassment back to Kili, who had pulled you up to your feet. "T-thank you." Now standing up on your own, pulling your tunic down, trying to avoid eye contact.

"You're welcome, wouldn't want you to ruin your clothes a day into our journey." Kili had smiled at you, as you looked back to him from your feet, smiling slightly back.

Dwarves weren't as bad as they were made out to be, you learned that very quickly. When it was time for baths, turns out they were protective over females, always when you bathed two dwarves stood guard, just in case.

On cold nights, you'd wake up with an extra blanket.

Even though Thorin didn't like you were on this quest, he was never horrible, maybe because you just stayed quiet. You did not want to anger that beast, Bilbo talked quite a lot and look at him..

On one night, you were told to hide, Bilbo had been kidnapped by trolls, you hadn't listened. You followed everyone else, staying the bushes, getting as close as you possibly could, before quietly climbing up a tree with your knife.

It wasn't long before they were all caught, you just staring down at them, specifically Kili, you had hoped at he look up, and see you drop the knife. You could not make nose that would have alerted the trolls immediately. Sat on a branch , trying to blend in as much as possible.

That was Kili had looked up wide eyed, as you dropping the knife , and quickly climbed further up the tree to get out of eye view. You had thought it had worked, oh you was wrong.

"That one has gotten out!" Kili had started running around the trolls , as if he was sonic. A few minutes that lasted before you had noticed a shadow. But it didn't matter because Bert had grabbed Kili tightly,like he was slime that wouldn't stay put. No way would not have bruises after that. Of course he got out of Berts grip as Gandalf had appeared, cracking the large Boulder, turning the trolls into stone.

Feeling terrible the next day still, when the company had stopped again for the night and everyone had went to sleep. You could not, Kili being on watch, you had gotten up quietly, making your way over to him, sitting on log next to him.

Thinking about what you would say, Kili had beaten you to it. "Can't sleep?" His voice sounded tired, but still as lively. "Yeah.. um I'm sorry." Very convincing, indeed.

" for what?" The fire glowing orange, causing Kili to be barely visible as he turned to his to look at you. "It's my fault, that you got hurt yesterday, I should've listened to Thorin."

"What on earth are you going on about? I wasn't hurt? I'm fine, no one is dead , you did great, you didn't throw the knife at my head, maybe then I'd be distrusting in you." You felt like sighing, thankfully, but that would be cringy.

"I haven't got good aim, so it could've happened."

"You need someone to teach you." You had scoffed slightly at Kili, gaining his full attention.

"I do not think anyone would have the patience." The warm orange glow from the fire, lit up the outline of Kili's face, a small grin could be seen.

"Are you challenging me? I have to sit through multiple speeches from Thorin a day."

"That's because you and Fili mess with him, I saw you the other day tangle a bunch of branches into his hair ,while he was sleeping. Why are you always surprised that he gets mad?"

"That was funny though, did you not see that bird fly at him? It shat on his face." Kili's grin only widened, as did yours, you had seen, Thorins face was bright red with the whipped cream.

"I'm surprised Thorin doesn't just leave you somewhere."

"My mum would kill him. Right that settles it, you will learn from the best , to throw knives."

"You will really get Fili to help me?" Kili had gasped at you , sarcastically. "Oh I see, you want that Lion, over me, I'm hurt y/n."

"No,no, thank you Kili."

Thus, a bond was formed every night the company stopped, Kili would take you from camp, taught you basic defensive techniques and knife throwing.

To say the least, it did not take you long to develop a crush. Fili and Bilbo had became suspicious and decided to sneak up on you two. Why you'd do , not sure, Bilbo supposed to be smart, for all they knew you could've been going at it.

Instead they found you both sparring, undoubtedly they were confused, as you knocked the sword from Kili's hand ,before tackling him. Straddling him, as you looked up to see Bilbo and Fili. Quickly letting go of Kili's wrists, Kili looking up confused too, as you stood up, pulling him up with you.

"Oh, hi, we were just sparring." Too embarrassed to speak, Kili did soon as he noticed his brother and hobbit. "So, this is what you two have been doing for weeks? 'Sparring'?" Fili didn't believe it, if Thorin knew he would not have, an heir to the throne, left unsupervised with a woman? No way.

"Yes Fili, I've been teaching Y/n how to defend herself." Sweat dripping down both of your faces, "Right okay, Thorin said it's time for you to have a bath in the quarry, before the dwarves filthy it. Come on y/n." Bilbo had pulled you away, turning your head back to Kili you had sent a smile back to him.

You were back on the road soon enough, Thorin had decided to let the company stop for a night at an inn, an inn with a pub on the side.

Tortuga, the inn you had grew up at.

What day was it? Saturday, you could only hope, you had a huge grin on your face. You had grabbed your stuff, once everyone was off their pony's, heading in to the inn,

Getting to the desk, to check into the inn, which consequently next to the bar, you in front. "Aye, it's y/n/n! It's been a while, luv. And you've brought friends, do you all need rooms?" Sparrow, the owner of the inn had greeted you,with a grin. That man was also very handsome, but too old for you though.

"I know, mum and dad been here a lot though, I assume? Oh I'm, when they next come here, would you be able to give this. And yes please we need for 16." Handing Sparrow the letter from your pocket.

"Of course, okay right it's 2 coins each for the night." The dwarves soon pulled out there coins passing them forward, as did you.

As Sparrow got the keys after counting the coins, he had turned back to you. "Oh, and lucky for you, y/n/n Jareth is here tonight." Sparrow had grinned, as your face flushed.

"Oh,really?" Kili unknowingly to you had also developed a crush on you, the mention of Jareth, made him bubble with jealousy. The company wondered, why such a young woman would be on nickname terms with the pub owner, and who Jareth was. They hadn't seen you as that type of girl, they were right not you, you weren't an alcoholic.

You had all went to your rooms, you had bathed deeply , dressed and headed down to the pub for dinner. The company already there, sat at tables, with jugs of ale. There was a space next to Kili, who had waved you over to sit.

Squeezing next to Kili, Sparrow had catcalled you again. "Oi, y/n/n , usual?" Nodded to his question, Loki the cook had brought out your favourite dinner, as Sparrow brought you an ale.

"You had it ready? Thank you." Sparrow had just winked leaving you to eat your dinner, the others were too busy drinking , but when they had noticed your food, they quickly ordered food.

"So, you come here regularly?" Kili had questioned as you finished your food, "oh, I'm yes, I travelled with my parents growing up , we had to drop stuff off here in Tortuga often , so we would stay here for the night." You had spoken quickly , wanting to change the subject.

" Transporting goods then?" Kili was intrigued, watching you intensely as you sipped your ale. Really he wanted to know who Jareth was. "Yeah, pretty boring, got to see a lot of places though." After that, a lot of people began to pile in, and the dwarves got drunker.

You knew it was going to be soon, that Jareth would be here. Not long at all, customers getting drunk, it was lively indeed.

Though nothing ever happened between you and Jareth, he still held a place in your heart, as well as being your best friend.

That's when you heard it.

"Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo" you head had shot up,in search of him, but you couldn't see him.

"You've got your mother in a whirl

She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl

Hey babe, your hair's alright

Hey babe, let's go out tonight

You like me, and I like it all

We like dancing and we look divine

You love bands when they're playing hard

You want more and you want it fast

They put you down, they say I'm wrong

You tacky thing, you put them on." Then you saw him, on the stage , well sort of a stage.

Catching sight of his mullet, down to his eyes, he had not noticed you, you wondered if Sparrow had told him you were here. You hoped he would see you.

"Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress

Rebel rebel, your face is a mess

Rebel rebel, how could they know?

Hot tramp, I love you so!" Thats when Jareth finally caught your eyes, holding eye contact as he sang, Blush upon your face. You had gotten up and went to the bar, ordering something strong, before retiring to your seat.

As Jareth had already started another song, you smacked down your drink.

"There's such a sad love

Deep in your eyes a kind of pale jewel

Open and closed

Within your eyes

I'll place the sky

Within your eyes." Jareth , catching your eye, gesturing you to come closer , with his hand.

"There's such a fooled heart

Beatin' so fast

In search of new dreams

A love that will last

Within your heart

I'll place the moon

Within your heart"

Standing up , Kili watched you as you walked towards the stranger man, as did the other dwarves.

"As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all

But I'll be there for you-ou-ou

As the world falls down."

Jareth had held knelt down, holding his gloved hand for you to take, which you did. Pulling you up onto the stage. Still holding onto your hand, still singing, as he continued singing, you placed your hand on his shoulder as he placed his other hand on your waist.Kili's heart ached.

"Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love." As you two danced , in sync, you truly loved Jareth, Kili stood up , went to the bar to get another drink.

"I'll paint you mornings of gold

I'll spin you Valentine evenings though we're strangers 'til now

We're choosing the path

Between the stars

I'll leave my love

Between the stars." Jareth had taught you how to dance, and every time you visited , he'd give you another song he had written for your book. A book which held all his songs.

"As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all

But I'll be there for you-ou-ou

As the world falls down

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Makes no sense at all

Makes no sense to fall

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

Falling in love." As soon as the song was over, you both had gotten of stage and you had jumped into Jareths arms.

"Missed you."

"Ditto,"

Jareth had looked over to your table, "so you are travelling with dwarves now?" You had smiled , looking back your table, Kili wasn't there. "Yes, Jareth, I'm going on an adventure, we have already seen trolls."

Grinning down at you, realisation hit Jareth, and went rushed to his bag quickly before returning back to you with a sheet of paper.

'Magic dance.'

"Just in case you meet a Goblin king. So who is your beloved?" Taking the piece of paper, looking at into Jareths blue eyes in confusion. "W-what?"

"The dwarf that stormed out, he does not like me." Jareth had chuckled, as you folded the piece of paper up placing it away. "We aren't together."

"Maybe you should go check on him, y/n/n, come see me later, I'm staying here tonight." You had briefly hugged Jareth before leaving the pub.

That's when you heard it, "stupid fucking hairless, fuck." Local drunks harassing Kili. "Oi, what are you doing?" The men had turned briefly to look at you, before scoffing. "Fuck of tramp."

You had marched up to the greasy man, pulling by the shoulder, to face you , and kneeing him in the crotch, making the man double over. Kili had punched one of them. The men soon ran, when you had tackled one of them, beating them into mash, when Kili had pulled you off,the ground, trying to get out of his grip. All the men ran.

"It's me, y/n, stop, if you continued you would have been arrested." Placing , you back onto the floor, Kili had soon walked off, heading to his room, you following. But he had closed the door before you could get in.

This, you climbed up the roof hanging over the roof, to look into Kili's room. Looking like Spiderman. Kili sat on his bed staring at the wall, not moving, jumping when you knocked the window.

He had rushed to the window when he had seen you , hanging of the roof, you definitely couldn't hold on longer. Though Kili wasn't tear stained , it was clear that he was upset. He had opened the window, helping you in.

"What are you doing? On the roof, what if you fell." He as definitely annoyed, "I would not have, plus I wouldn't have to if you let me in before." You definitely would have fell.

He hadn't answered this time, just sat on the bed, away from you, you sat next to him on the bed.

"Kili, talk to me, tell me what has made you not yourself. Please, Kili." You didn't dare touch him, but you did placing your hand on his foreman. "Why don't you go to your beloved? You won't be seeming him for a while , instead of bothering me." You had scoffed pulling your hand off of him, you already knew he ran off because of Jareth.

"You are very stupid dwarf, in all honesty, Jareth is my bestfriend, only friend I had growing up, and don't you think he is a bit old for me?"

"I don't believe it, you like a man that has long soft hair, nothing like me, I can't even grow a beard."

"frankly beards are really gross, tell me that the dwarves don't smell? You know why? Because they drop food all their beards and don't know it." You had laughed, imagine Bombur going through his beard and finding cheese.

"They do smell,"

"Exactly, and what's wrong with your hair, Kili?" You had turned on the bed, bringing your hand up to his hair,touching it gently, moving it out for his face. "I think you've got lovely hair, those guys were just idiots, Jareth had to beat them with a soup spoon once, you are not stupid nor hairless. How could they call you hairless? They are bald?"

Cupping Kili's face, to bringing him to face you, looking into his chestnut eyes. "Y/n, I must confess, that this would not have happened if I did not like you." And with that you had pressed your lips to his.

"Your eyes can be so cruel

Just as I can be so cruel

Oh I do believe in you

Yes I do" Jareth singing faintly could be heard.

#the hobbit x y/n #the hobbit oneshot #the hobbit x #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit kili #hobbit imagine #the hobbit imagines #hobbit imagines #kili x y/n #kili x you #kili imagines #kili imagine #kili x reader #kili the dwarf #labyrinth #crossover

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outlawsworld · 3 years

Text

Trusting Strangers - Chapter 11

Arthur Morgan x Female reader

Summary: Arthur and reader have agreed not to let the camp know about their relationship but when Micha threatens you things start to surface.

Warnings: violence, swearing and fluff

Notes: Sorry it took me a bit longer then expected to get this chapter finished. I kept on deleting and rewriting it. I really hope you like it, please like and reblog if you do.

Chapter 1

The morning light blinded you when you woke. You had to squint to allow your eyes time to get used to the brightness. Waking up in your tent was always slightly dark and gloomy but you had slept under the stars last night. You had woken up exactly how you fell asleep, laid in the grass opening surrounded by trees. With your head resting on Arthur's broad chest, your legs were now entangled slightly and his arms wrapped around you pulling your body close to his. His body was radiating heat which only made you cling onto him more. It had been a cold night and you hadn't made a campfire so that you could see as many stars in the night sky as possible. Waking up in Arthur's embrace sparked a fire in your chest and your smile beamed from ear to ear. You tilted your head up slowly to see that he was also awake.

''Mornin' beautiful'' his voice was husky as he had only just woken up. He smiled as he looked down to see your face looking up at him. Arthur's eyes were bright in the morning light, he looked well rested for once. His words made your heart flutter and you could feel the warm rush of blood to your cheeks.

''Mornin' Arthur'' you spoke sweetly. He leant down to place a kiss on your forehead. The both of you laid together for a while holding each other closely. You never wanted this moment to end however, knew you would both have to go back to camp eventually. You sat up, leaving Arthur's arms, making you shiver as the cold air brushed over you. ''I don't want to go back'' you admitted. "Not yet, anyway" Arthur sat up next to you smirking at your comment.

''Me neither'' he smiled nudging you slightly with his elbow. ''But you need some food. We didn't have much to eat yesterday so you must be starvin'.'' he stood up and held out his hand to you. The mention of food made your stomach growl, you had completely forgotten about food whilst being completely entranced in Arthur's company. You took Arthur's hand and he helped you to your feet. As you were about to turn and walk over to Siego, you felt Arthur's hand pull on yours spinning you back into his arms. His arms were now wrapped around your waist, pulling your body into his. Arthur looked deeply into your eyes. ''You ain't gettin' away that easy'' he smiled cheekily before leaning down and kissing you. Each kiss the two of you shared felt even better then the last. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your tiptoes to allow the kiss to deepen. It was like the world around you disappeared, leaving just the two of you together. You were unsure when the next time the both of you would be alone together so you had to make the most of the time you had. A nickering sounds jumped you both back into reality. You broke the kiss to see what had caused the noise, with your hand placed on your holster ready for someone to appear. When you realised it was just Siego you both began to laugh at your reactions.

''Come on, Cowboy'' you tapped the brim of Arthur's hat causing it to cover his eyes. He released you from his embrace to sort his hat back on top of his head. You took this opportunity to run to Siego and mount the saddle. Arthur smirked and cocked an eyebrow at you.

''And what do you think you're doin'?'' he chuckled at you.

''It's my turn to ride and your turn to sit there lookin' pretty'' you teased him. He shook his head at you with an amused smile. You held your hand out to help him up as he mounted to sit behind you. He placed his hands on your waist and you couldn't help the smirk on your face.

"Shut up" Arthur scoffed as you rode back to camp. You could tell he wasn't enjoying being the passenger on his own horse which only made you tease him more.

The camp wasn't far from where you were. You hoped, as you rode into camp, that you and Arthur would be able to sneak off to on occasions to spend time alone under the stars. You both were very private people so you weren't too keen on telling the whole camp about your relationship. The thought of being pestered and asked questions on the subject was daunting. Talking about your feelings to one another was hard enough, never mind telling others as well. You both decided for now to keep your relationship between the two of you and when you were ready you would tell the others.

''Who's there?'' Javier called out to you.

''Arthur, you dumbass'' Arthur yelled back. You smirked at his comment as Javier rolled his eyes.

''Welcome back'' Javier spoke sarcastically before turning back to watch the track into camp. You both dismounted and you hitched Siego to the post. The smell of food made your stomach cramp as you made your way over to Pearson's cart. Arthur passed you some bread with jam and an apple before grabbing his own food.

''Go on, get yourself a coffee. I need to go talk to Lenny'' Arthur gestured at the young man sitting on a log looking out over the water. You nodded in reply before heading to sit by the fire. Charles was sitting on one of the logs as you made your way over to sit beside him.

''You're alive then?'' he smiled up at you as you took your seat.

''Just about'' you smirked as you began to tuck into your food.

"Good, I was beginning to wonder where you had gotten too" Charles was busy stringing his bow. "I nearly went out looking for you this morning" he looked at you relieved.

"Thanks Charles, I just got lost in the dark. Luckily, Arthur found me" you lied. Your cheeks were aching from smiling at the thought of last night as you ate your food. Charles was too focused on his bow to notice. You glanced over to the horses when the sudden realisation that you still hadn't checked to see if Dallas had returned to camp flooded you. You stuffed the last bit of bread into your mouth as you stood from the log and ran over to the horses. ''Shit, shit, shit'' you whispered under your breath as you couldn't see him with the others.

''You looking for Dallas?'' Charles ran after you.

''Yes, have you seen him?'' your voice was slightly panicked as you scanned the camp.

''No, I haven't but I'm sure he will be fine'' he reassured you.

''What's going on?'' Hosea asked as he approached you with John following close behind.

''Dallas hasn't come back'' you took a deep breath to try and relax. You know that to some people it would seem silly to get worried over a horse but Dallas was more than that. He was not only a very good horse but he was a gift from Arthur.

''Well I ain't doing anything today so we can go find him'' John patted Charles on the shoulder as he made his way over to Old Boy. "You comin' Charles?".

''I can't, I've got to go hunting or Pearson will never stop pestering me'' Charles sighed.

''Take Silver Dollar, my girl. I'm sure you and John will find him soon enough'' Hosea pointed to his horse. He must have sensed the concern in your voice as he tried to reassure you. ''Now, he's got a good spirit but don't let him get the better of you'' he took you over to his horse and patted him on the neck as you mounted up.

''Thank you Hosea. I'll take good care of him'' you smiled at him.

''I know you will'' he patted your leg. ''You better get going''. You looked over to see John was mounted and ready to go so you spurred Silver Dollar into a trot and headed out of camp. John followed closely behind you until you came to the open road where he rode next to you.

''So where do we start?'' John asked.

''I have no idea'' you sighed feeling like this might be a lost cause. ''He could be anywhere by now''.

''We will find him, don't worry'' John smiled assuringly at you. ''Where did you last see him? We can start there''. You nodded and told John what happened yesterday. With that you rode out to the house where you last saw Dallas. The both of you stayed hidden in the woods as you approached the house. You didn't want to get caught by any patrols that may still be lerking in the area. The barn where you had hidden only hours ago was now a pile of ash. You could smell the burnt timber and the smoke that was still rising to the air. Bodies were laying motionless in the grass that hadn't been moved yet. It looked as though no one was around but you didn't want to spend too much time lingering just in case. ''Looks like you had a fun night'' John smirked at you as you glanced around to see any sign of the missing horse.

''I wouldn't have put it that way'' you glanced at him innocently. ''I think he went this way, through the woods'' you pointed in the direction away from the house. John took the lead and followed in the direction you pointed. He managed to find some hoof prints in the soft ground below. You both followed them as it was the only lead you had.

''So how are you holdin' up? Last time we spoke you were drunk as hell'' he chuckled at you. You shook your head as you pinched the bridge of your nose.

''I'm alright, don't remind me'' you smirked. ''I never thanked you for looking after me John. I would have been a lot worse the next mornin' if it weren't for you''.

''Ahh It's the least I can do'' John smiled sweetly at you.

''How about yourself? How are you holding up?'' you asked as you scanned the floor, making sure you were still following the right tracks.

''I'm as good as I can be'' John replied with his eyes hidden by the brim of his hat. You sensed something was off with him but you couldn't quite tell what it was.

''Is something wrong?'' you questioned shyly, scanning his face for his reaction. For the first time in a long time you properly looked at John. His deep cuts were now just healed scars across his face and lip. His black hair just grazing his shoulders but was mostly hidden by his hat dark grey hat. John had dark features and short black stubble gracing his face. He was only in his mid twenties but looked like he had lived many lives already. You could understand why Abigail felt the way she did about John, he was clearly a very handsom man. He was smaller in fame compared to Arthur and Charles but he was still well built and strong. He let out a long sigh before looking back at you. John's eyes caught yours and you could see the sadness in them.

''It's Jack and Abigail. I know I haven't been great to either of them but whenever I try I just seem to mess things up. We just fight constantly and I'm tired of it'' he shook his head turning his gaze to the floor again. ''I don't even know how to talk to my own son'' he scoffed.

''I'm sorry John, It ain't a situation I know a lot about'' you paused. You knew how hard everything was for both John and Abigail. They hadn't gotten off to the best start when John took off and left both Abigail and Jack for a whole year. John was now trying to amend his mistakes but Abigail still held a grudge, which you could understand. ''I know it's tiring but don't give up on em. They need you more then you know. Abigail is just givin' you a hard time because she's been through a lot. It ain't right but you have to understand the reasons why she's actin' like she is'' you gave John a weak smile. You wanted to be there for him, much like how he is always there for you but you had no idea what you could say to help.

''Yeah I guess'' he smiled back. ''What an idiot I have been. I shouldn't have run off like that but I guess I just wasn't ready for such a commitment''.

''You'll make up for it. I know you will'' you looked deeply into his eyes to try and assure him that everything will work itself out.

"We will see. I wish she was as easy to speak to as you, (Y/N)" John chuckled.

"I..." You were cut off by a loud screech coming from deeper in the woods. It sounded like an animal in pain and without thinking you spurred the horses on in the direction it was coming from. As you approached you could hear the screeching getting louder. At the bottom of a hill, hidden behind some trees you spotted Dallas struggling to move. He had his leg trapped in a snare set out by hunters to catch game. Quickly, you dismounted and ran over to him. The leg that was caught was bleeding from where the wire was cutting deeper into his leg. You could see the white of his eye, he was breathing heavily as he was panicking. He was trying to break free from the trap which only tightened the wire around his leg. ''Whoa, calm down boy. It's alright'' you managed to grab the reins and pat his neck to try and calm him down. John was looking over the trap to try and find where the wire was tied so that he could release it. You were flooded with guilt as you looked into Dallas' terrified face. He had been here all night, scared and in pain, while you were cuddling up to Arthur. John managed to release the wire, causing Dallas to try and bolt as he felt he was now free. You clung to the reins as he battled with you to let him go. ''Steady boy. You're okay now'' you spoke calmly. It wasn't long before Dallas calmed enough for John to remove the wire from his leg.

''There you are fella'' he patted the black stallion. ''See, he's alright'' he assured you as he threw the wire to the side. You looked at the deep gash around Dallas' pastern where the wire had been tightened. It wasn't deep but it looked sore and could get infected if not treated properly.

''Lets get you back to camp boy'' you felt relieved. You decided to lead Dallas back so tied his reins to the horn of Hosea's saddle before mounting Silver Dollar. ''Didn't think I would see you again, my friend'' you giggled as you and John headed back towards camp. ''Thank you for helpin' me find him John'' you shouted to John who was leading the way back.

''My pleasure'' he smiled back at you whilst tipping his hat. ''I'm just glad we found him. I know how much you care for him". The two of you rode slowly as Dallas was hobbling slightly on his injured leg. John began telling you stories of when he was young and how Dutch taught him how to read and write. You laughed along as he told you how Dutch would loose his patients when John couldn't get the hang of it. It was early evening by the time you had made it back to camp. You were greeted by Hosea and Dutch at the hitching posts.

''Ahh so you found him'' Dutch bellowed over to you as you approached them.

''Yeah, he was caught on a snare, no wonder he didn't come back'' you nodded as you dismounted Silver Dollar. ''Thank you for lettin' me borrow him Hosea'' you untied Dallas' reins from the saddle and hitched him on the post.

''Not a problem my girl. I gather he looked after you well'' he smiled at you tieing HS horse to the post.

"He did indeed" you turned to patt Silver Dollar on his neck and feed him a carrot from your bag.

''John, (Y/N), I have a job for you both'' Dutch caught your attention. You all gathered round the hitching post as Dutch explained the job. ''I need you both to look into something for me. Sheriff Grey told me about a couple of horses at the Braithwaite property. I don't know the in's and out's but if you could go to the Greys plantation at some point to find out more, I think there will be some money in it for us'' Dutch's voice was eager when he mentioned the money.

''Sure, Dutch'' you nodded.

''We can go tomorrow mornin'. First thing'' John agreed.

''Brilliant. I knew you two would be up to the job'' Dutch exclaimed as he patted you both on the shoulder. ''Oh, take Javier with you too'' he instructed before him and Hosea took their leave. You turned your attention back to Dallas' cut, luckily the bleeding had stopped now so you grabbed some water to clean the wound. John stayed with you as he brushed down Old Boy and Charles came to help when he got back from hunting. He gave you some herbs to put on the cut to stop infections which you gently applied to Dallas' leg. Once you were done, the three of you made your way back into camp to get some food. You noticed that Micah was back. He hadn't been at camp since Arthur had broken him out of jail but you saw him sat by the fire as you made your way over. You had only ever spoken to Micah once or twice but you always remembered him being cruel when you were tied to the wagon all those weeks ago. He used to threaten to kill you or would spit at you as he walked by. Nothing about the man was likable to you, so you were not so pleased he was back.

''Scarface, you happy to see me back?'' Micah directed his question at John as he chuckled under his breath.

''Micah, I would have preferred to see you hang'' John spat back at him as you all sat around the fire.

''Oh, no need to be like that'' Micah threw his hands in the air in defence. You kept quiet, you didn't want to draw his attention to you so you just ate your food silently. By the time you had finished your stew and a bottle of beer the rest of camp had joined you round the fire. Sadie and Tilly came and sat next to you and you spoke to them about where you eventually found Dallas. Arthur also joined the group to sit around the fire, you looked up to see him sat opposite you. You caught his eyes on you and you shared a shy smile before turning your attention to the convocations you were in. Although you knew why it wasn't the best idea to have your feelings for each other public knowledge, you hated the idea of not being able to hold him or kiss him whilst you were in camp. You longed for his attention and seeing him sat across from you only made you crave him more.

''How are things with you and Arthur?'' Sadie nudged you with her elbow, keeping her voice hushed. Panicked at the mention of your relationship, you looked round to see that Tilly had now turned her attention to Sean and Lenny. Once you realised It was only you and Sadie talking, you couldn't help the blushed smile that crossed your face.

''Things are good'' you whispered back glancing over at Arthur. He was talking with John and Bill as he smoked on a cigarette. The light from the cigarette end would illuminate his eyes, from the shadow cast by the bim of his hat, every time he took a drag.

''He keeps looking over at you'' Sadie teased and you turned your attention back to her. ''You're both gonna get found out you know. It's so damn obvious'' she glanced between you and Arthur.

''I don't think everyone is as observant as you Sadie'' you giggled glancing round the rest of camp. ''I'm pretty sure if anyone thought anything, either Karen or Mary-Beth would have asked by now. They have only just stopped asking me if I'm sweet on anyone'' you both giggled and you heard your stomach growl. You were still hungry even after a bowl of stew and you remembered having a tin of biscuits in your saddle bag. As your stomach started to growl louder you decided the pack of biscuits were too tempting not to have so you excused yourself to go and get them. You walked over to the horses and grabbed the tin from your saddle bag, checking on Dallas as you passed him. On your way back to the fire you were met by Micah. His blonde hair was covered by the white hat he wore and his beady eyes were looking straight at you. He had clearly had a bit too much to drink as he was stumbling around as he walked in your direction. ''Micah'' you greeted him as you walked by. Your intentions were to walk straight by him and ignore any comments he made but his hand was quick to grab your arm and pull you back in front of him.

''That's no way to greet me girl'' he growled at you. The smell of liquor on his breath was overwhelming and his grip on your arm tightened. ''You're a pretty one ain't ya. Better than when you were tied to that wagon....Although I must admit you looked just as nice tied up'' he snickered as he looked at you up and down with hunger in his eyes. You pulled your arm from his grasp forcefully and he almost lost his balance.

''Go to hell Micah'' you spat back at him. A cruel grin appeard his face as you spoke to him. It was as though he liked it when people dispised him. He regained his balance and blocked your way back to camp by towering over you.

''I like a girl with a bit of fire'' he smirked and grabbed your throat, holding it tightly. ''I'll show you how you treat a real man'' he whispered in your ear. His breath ran cold down your neck and your body tensed. You used all the force you could muster to slap him across the face but he intercepted your arm before you could make an impact. His laugh was taunting you which only made you more angry, your knee came up to hit him in his stomach and he released his grip on you as he grasped his belly. ''Bitch, ain't you'' his amusement faded which was replaced by pure anger and you were the one in the firing line. You reached for your pistol to defend yourself but you had taken your gun belt off as you ate, leaving it by the fire. As you looked up from your empty hip, Micah had reached for his knife and was already holding it at your throat. He leant into you and took a deep breath in, taking in your smell before smiling devilishly at you. "Ain't so tough without a gun, are ya?". Your heart was racing as you had nothing to defend yourself with. The metal of his knife blade against your neck was cold and sent a shiver down your spine.

"Just you wait" you taunted him as you felt the hilt of your own knife in your back pocket. You were about to pull it on him when the distinct crack of a pistol being cocked came from behind Micah.

''Get your goddamn hands off her Micah'' Arthur growled. He was standing with the barrel of his pistol aimed at Micah's head. The sound of his angered voice bellowed through camp, and conversation were suddenly silenced. All the camp's attention had turned to the three of you and Micah remained unmoved.

''Come on Cowpoke, I'm just havin' a bit of fun here'' Micah kept the knife on your throat but his attention was on Arthur.

''Fun's over'' Arthur moved in closer with a darkness in his eyes as he looked at Micah. His gun was now placed against Micah's temple and his finger ready at the trigger. You glanced between the two men as Micah weighed up his options. He turned back to you before removing his knife from your neck and putting it back in his belt. Arthur then lowered his gun and placed it into the halter at his hip. John, Dutch and Sadie had made their way over, after hearing the commotion in case they had to intervene. You took a deep breath in releasing your grip on the hilt of your knife as Micah stepped away from you. He sighed loudly before laughing at Arthur.

''If I didn't know you any better I would have said you cared for this girl, Mr Morgan. You're going soft'' his voice was slurred. Micah stumbled on his way to square up to Arthur. He stood directly in front of him and you watched as Arthur towered above him.

''I should 'av left you in jail to hang'' Arthur spat back. His brow was furrowed and his jaw was clenched. Micah cocked his eyebrow with a smile on his face.

''So what's she like in bed?'' Micah ignored his comment, he knew he was getting under Arthur's skin and he was enjoying the attention. Arthur's fists clenched shut. You glanced at John to try and stop this madness but he looked between you and Arthur, open mouthed, at what Micah was suggesting. You were about to grab Arthur yourself and walk away, Micah was not worth the time and you had enough of his torments. ''Send her to my tent when you're done, she looks like a wild one'' Micah sniggered. That was all it took to break Arthur's temper. His face turned red and is fist came up and hit Micah in the jaw as hard as he could. Micah fell to the floor with a thud. Dutch and John were quick to grab Arthur's arms and hold him back before he did any further damage.

"Touch her again and I'll give you more then a broken nose" Arthur threatened as he was getting pulled away by John and Dutch. The rest of camp were staring at the scene playing out in front of them. You stood there frozen, unaware of what to do. The damage had already been done. Although you know you shouldn't have, you felt a deep satisfaction watching Micah being knocked onto his arse.

''That is enough'' Dutch shouted as he pulled Arthur away from Micah. ''Micah, go get cleaned up. Arthur, go calm down'' he gestured to the both of them. Micah's nose was running with blood from the impact. He fumbled to his feet and walked straight back into camp to clean up while Arthur marched into the woods away from everyone. You were left standing with Dutch, John and Sadie watching as the two men strode away. ''(Y/N), you alright?'' Dutch asked you as he placed a hand on your shoulder. You nodded in response, still trying to process what had just happened. "Good, I'm going to go have a chat with Micah" Dutch informed you as he followed the beaten man back into camp.

''What the hell was that about?'' John asked. He glanced at you catching your eye before he averted his gaze to the floor. There was a concerned expression on his face but for some reason he wouldn't look at you.

''Micah grabbed me and Arthur stood in to defend me'' you huffed rubbing your throat where the knife had been sitting.

"What was Micah getting at then? Because Arthur was gettin' pretty wound up" John questioned his voice loud and irritated as he regained his breath from trying to restrain Arthur. Your breath got hitched in your mouth as you panick. The palm of your hands become sweaty and you didn't know how to answer. You had no intention of telling the gang any time soon about your relationship with Arthur.

''I should go check on him'' you looked in the direction Arthur had stormed off ignoring John's question.

"Sure you are alright?" Sadie asked as she saw the panick in your face.

"Yeah, I'm fine" you nodded before you turned away to follow after Arthur. You followed the fresh tracks in the ground until you found Arthur sitting under a tree with his back leant up against it. His head was hanging low with his hat covering his eyes.

''Thank you'' you spoke softly as you approached him. He lifted his head up to look at you. ''I always knew he was a piece of shit but I didn't know quite how true that was'' you tried to lighten the mood. Arthur's hands were still in fists but he couldn't help the small smile on his face when he saw you.

''Yeah, that's one way of putting it'' he growled. ''You alright?'' he stood up and glanced at your neck making sure Micah hadn't left a mark on you.

''I'm fine'' you smiled as you wrapped your arms around Arthur's waist and buried your head into his chest. He pulled you in closer to him and placed a kiss on the top of your head. You took a deep breath allowing yourself to relax in his arms.

''I should av' killed the bastard'' he mumbled. ''If he ever touches you again then I will'' he tightened his grip on you.

''That's if I don't do it first'' you giggled as you pulled away and grabbed his hand to see the bruises that were already forming on his knuckles. "You shouldn't have punched him" you grazed the bruise with your fingertips before looking up into Arthur's eyes.

"He deserved it" he defended himself. "He's lucky that's all he got" his brow furrowed. You smiled shyly at him knowing he was only this angry because he cared for you. Having someone help to defend you was still something you were going to have to get used to but you were greatful for him. It made you feel safer, knowing that you had Arthur watching out for you. The temper he has that you used to be weary of you knew would never be directed at you but only used to defend you. You stayed with him in the woods for a while until he was fully calmed down. You both sat under a tree whilst he told you about his day with Lenny at a place called Shady Bell and then how he and Micah robbed a bank coach which the O'Driscolls ended up turning up to as well. ''Sounds more interesting then my day'' you smiled up at him. ''I went to find Dallas with John'' you chuckled.

''Sorry I couldn't help ya" he scratched the back of his neck. "Least you had John to help you find him'' Arthur's voice was relaxed now as you sat close to one another.

"You help me plenty enough. Plus John isn't bad company. I just feel sorry for you havin' to spend time with Micah" you teased him. Arthur smirked at you before gently moving a strand of hair away from your face, caressing your cheek before leaning down and kissing you softly. He then rested his forehead on yours. ''You are so beautiful'' he whispered softly. Your chest filled with a warm sensation and your heart stopped beating for a split second. Everything you felt towards Arthur seemed to double in intensity everyday, heat ran to your cheeks as you looked at him. His deep blue eyes captivated you in a trance that you never wanted to leave. He smiled sweetly before looking at the ground. ''We better go back before someone comes to check on us'' he mumbled, looking slightly upset at the prospect of going back into camp. You both stood up and shared one last kiss before making your way back into camp.

''I think I'm going to go get some rest'' you turned to Arthur. You saw the majority of the gang we're still gathered around the fire and you didn't want to face them just yet. The late nights were also catching up to you as you could feel your eyelids getting heavier.

''Alright, I'll see you in the mornin'.'' Arthur smiled. You didn't want him to leave you, you wanted him to come in and spend the night with you again and you could see in his eyes he wanted that too. It felt like a large lump had formed in your throat, you swallowed hard. Arthur hesitated before tipping his hat to you with a nervous smile. ''G'night (Y/N)'' he turned and walked towards his own cot, leaving a sense of loneliness lingering around you. You walked into your tent and got changed into your nightwear before laying on your cot and covering yourself with the blanket. The events of the night played through your head. The way Micah grabbed you and spoke about you to Arthur in front of the others. Arthur's reaction was bound to make people ask questions and you weren't ready for that. The thought of tomorrow made you feel uneasy, everyone pestering you about your relationship with Arthur, but at least you were on a job with John. He was your closest friend in camp and he always made you feel comfortable so you hoped he wouldn't question you again. Being away from camp should take your mind of things. You felt your eyes get heavy as you drifted off into a deep sleep.

Chapter 12

@nena-ma

#rdr2 #rdr2 community #arthur morgan #red dead redemption two #rdr2 arthur #rdr2 photography #red dead redemption 2 #john marston #red dead redemption arthur #red dead redemption john #arthur morgan fanfic #arthur morgan imagine #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 john #micah bell #dutch van der linde #hosea mathews #charles smith #rdr2 fanfic

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haddonfieldproject · 4 years

Text

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.21 HALLOWEEN NIGHT/NOVEMBER 1st AROUND SUNRISE

Haddonfield, Illinois

Rosalita craned her neck to see the time. There was no clock in the supply closet, no light now to see a clock if there was one, the power had gone off shortly after Sheriff Brackett had left her here. When that lightning hit, she thought. She knew the lightning had something to do with it. The Sheriff's daughter, who lay in a hospital bed that took up virtually all of the room in the storage closet, had an IV hooked up to her arm. On the pole that held the IV was a little box with all sorts of buttons and blinking lights and gauges of a sort. Rosalita of course, had no idea what it all meant or was for, but the box had a little display screen that cast a soft blue-green glow inside the closet, and gave her the only light she had. On the bottom right corner of the box was the time. ‪05:46‬. Next to the time was a battery symbol, it was red and flashing...just like the same kind of symbol on the box on Rosalita's IV had been as well before it died about thirty minutes ago and went dark.

This one is gonna die too and soon I'll be in the dark, she thought to herself in her native Spanish, looking down at her newborn baby which she cradled in her arms. The Sheriff had left her, the baby, and his unconscious daughter more than an hour and a half ago. He said he was going to see “just what the hell was going on”. A part of her hoped he'd gone ahead and found it out—or was going to find it out soon— so she could get out of this god-forsaken closet. Another part of her hoped he didn't.

She knew what was going on.

When they had heard the gunshot, she had known right away it had come from Ole' Bitch.

The only thing Sparky Warner may have loved more than his shotgun was draining the cans of Coors Light he used to shoot with it...certainly not Rosalita. He abused his wife almost as much as he had abused the cans. At least when he was done with Rosalita he just rolled ahead on over and went to sleep, but with the cans, he liked to line them up on a log in the back yard and either take pot-shots at them with his .22 or sometimes, if he was in the real mood for some fun, he'd obliterate them with 'Ole Bitch'.

“I named it after your mama,” he had told her once as he pulled it from the back of his work van.

Rosalita knew who the shotgun blast was for too.

Whitey Grey had done a bang-up job on the new roof of the Warner home last year. Sparky had been real appreciative too, and knowing Whitey to be a stand-up guy, and having felt sorry for him because he had been on the outs with his high-school sweetheart, he had been all too willing to give Whitey some odd jobs here and there around the Warner castle in exchange for some cash from time to time.

“Chelsea Keane has always been a fucking bitch, ever since high school” Sparky had belched, crushing an empty beer can in his hand and tossing it off the front porch. “I'm surprised you stayed with her this long.”

Whitey had looked into the hole of the can of his own beer. “I've always loved her man. Ever since we were in six grade. I've always felt she was the one for me.” He had taken a swig. “You know, like my soul mate.”

Sparky had fished a cigarette out of his mouth and laughed, punching his friend in the arm. “You gotta be kidding me with that pussy shit.” He had said, putting a flame to the end of his smoke. “Naw man...you stay here with me. Make that bitch feel what it's like to miss you.”

“You think so?” Whitey had asked.

“Fuck yeah. Besides, I got tons of shit around here you can do in exchange for crashing on the couch.” Sparky had replied, the cigarette bouncing in his mouth.

“Your old lady won't mind?” Sparky had asked.

“Who do you think wears the pants around here motherfucker?” Sparky had exhaled a plume of smoke. “You see,” he had said, pointing the cigarette at his friend. “That's your problem. You always let that bitch run you over. You think I ever let my woman boss me around?”

Whitey changed the subject, “What do you want done around here?” He had asked.

“You're a handy motherfucker...lots of shit.” Sparky had smiled. “These gutters haven't been cleaned a month of Sundays. I've been meaning to pressure wash this driveway. I got siding on the side that's fucked up and could use replacing...and shit...that well in the back has been compromised by about three autumn's worth of leaves.”

Whitey had shrugged and taken another swig of beer. “That sounds cool.”

“Yeah!” Sparky had taken another drag, “And you know...odd job shit. Like bring the salt pellets in from time to time. That shit's heavy and God knows my old lady can't do it.”

They had laughed together at this. Rosalita had watched and listened to this conversation out of the window while she was doing the dishes. She remembered it well because moments after her husband had berated her to his best friend, she had sliced her finger on a steak knife under the soapy water. It had left a small car on the inside of her left index finger.

Rosalita felt that place in the darkness now, thinking.

Yes, Whitey had done a real good job around the house.

After all, Sparky was real busy. His little electric company hadn't taken off the ground as well as he had liked, and he found himself a corporation of one, working seven days a week, twelve hour days.

Anyone with half a brain would have known how this was gonna play out.

One of Sparky's job's on a ‪Tuesday morning‬ had re-scheduled. Rosalita had never found out why. Sparky had come home ‪at ten o'clock‬ in the morning to find Whitey Grey in his underwear making pancakes for Rosalita, who was also in her underwear...well...at least from the waist down. If it wasn't for a well-timed right hook by Whitey and an even better timed smack with the pancake skillet by Rosalita...Whitey and Rosalita would have probably gotten a taste of “Ole Bitch” right then.

Rosalita and Whitey had gotten a room at the Extended Day down in Russellville for awhile, after six months they snuck back into Haddonfield, renting a little apartment two blocks from the Bypass near Orange Grove. By then, Rosalita was sporting a little belly that everyone in town knew wasn't Sparky's doing, and word of mouth travels fast in a little Midwestern town.

So far though Sparky hadn't caused any trouble. Hadn't even called.

That didn't stop Rosalita from knowing that the shotgun blast had come from “Ole Bitch”. She knew it as well as she knew that the sun was gonna come up over Little Egypt ‪tomorrow morning‬ from the east and set over the corn fields and hills to the west ‪tomorrow evening‬. She knew it deep down in the marrow of her bones and the bottom of her soul and had now fought for the last hour and a half to shake the image of Whitey Grey, the father of her newborn baby, laying dead somewhere in the hospital with his brains splattered all around.

And Sparky was now coming for her.

Her and her baby.

Can't think about that now, Rosalita thought, looking down at her newborn baby boy. The Sheriff said he'd figure out what was going on, and he'll figure it out.

Sheriff Brackett had been the top deputy dog in the town as long as Rosalita could remember. If pressed she would say that she had always trusted him, and she would just plain have to trust him now.

The display screen on the Sheriff's daughter went dark. Rosalita couldn't see her hand in front of her face...let alone her baby.

Oh please God. She thought. Let somebody find me in here.

And then she caught herself.

Anybody but Sparky.

NEXT>>

#halloween #halloween franchise #michael myers #horror #horror writing #haddonfield #horror film #fan fiction #fan writing #spooky

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jpat82 · 5 years

Text

Letters To You

Bucky x Reader

Dearest Grandma,

I hope this card finds its way to you, I'm sorry I won't be able to come home this holiday, work has been keeping me busy. I did take the time to buy a tree like you insisted upon, even though I'll barely be home to see it. The city looks amazing, it's all decorated, I know you would love it.

This year is going to be the hardest I know, I miss you like crazy. Maybe that's why I keep myself busy so I can forget. I promise this spring I'll come out and see you, I love you and I always will.

Your little bird.

It was Dec 1st and the the third card Bucky had received and it was the first one he had opened. The address was his and he had moved in just shy of two months ago. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to open the red envelope this time. He usually sent them back with return to sender scrawled across the top but the woman sent them still to his address.

With heavy sigh he sat down at his desk and grabbed a blank sheet of paper.

Dear... to whom it may...

I just wanted to let you know that the person you keep mailing letters to no longer lives at this address. I've sent the others back and maybe they haven't reached you, maybe they got lost on their way. I wish you well.

James.

He sealed the letter in the envelope and sent it off in the mail and thought nothing of it. He went about his day, Steve had been trying to get him out and enjoy the winter season.

He couldn't, the cold brought back memories of Siberia and everything that went with it. The holidays reminded him that his family wasn't alive in this era, and even though he had friends he couldn't just shake his past like Steve could. Sam has attempted to reach out to him, trying to get him to join the va group but he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to go. Days went by and as they did his mood continued to become dampened, he started to spend more time inside. He kept himself busy, cleaning weapons or working out, reading history books, anything to keep his mind busy.

That was till two days later he got an envelope that was baby blue in color. This time his name written with his address and from the same address as the red envelope. He tossed it to the side and went about the rest of the day, it wasn't till late that night as he was laying on the couch did he remember the letter.

Dear James,

I'm sorry to have bothered you, no I never got the returned letters. To be honest I was wondering when they would start to return. The house you are living was occupied by my grandmother, she passed this fall and I didn't know what else to do to keep her alive with me. So I continued to write with intent on stopping when with letters came back, then I would know that the house had been sold.

This is the first year of me being by myself, and a part of me hoped that the house wouldn't sell till after the holidays so I could at least pretend that she was still here with me. I don't know why I'm dumping all of this on you, and I'm sorry for that. I wish you a good holiday and a bright new year, I wish you enough.

Y/n

Bucky reread the letter three times, his heart breaking for the stranger who took the time to write it. He reached over and grabbed the notebook he had kept for years, ripping a blank page from it before grabbing a pen from the coffee table. He paused for a moment, debating on whether he should respond or not. He took a deep breath and sat up a bit.

Y/n,

I'm sorry to hear of your grandmas passing, it's hard to loose family and the holiday time is the hardest... I know, I'm right there with you. Wish I could say it gets easier but you'll miss them every time. If you wish to continue to write to her through the season go ahead, I promise not to pry.

I hope you find peace, and have a good holiday season as well.

James

The next morning he sent the letter off and went for a run with Sam, who had been bugging him for the last couple of days. He knew he couldn't keep avoiding people, even if it was only for a couple a weeks.

And just like the last one it took only two days for her to respond. This time a green card came in addressed to the former occupant and a silver one addressed to him. Bucky found a small smile spreading across his face as he walked over and sat down on the couch, tossing the green one on the coffee table before opening the silver envelope.

James,

Thank you! You have no idea how much it means it me. I know that next year I will miss her just as much but this year is particularly hard. My grandma was everything to me, she was my mom, my best friend, someone I could always count on. She came down ill shortly after I moved, and then work started to load down on me and I kept putting off to go see her.

I wasn't there when she passed, nor was I there for her burial. A stranger went through her house and arranged the estate sale and the sale of my childhood home. I wish I could take it all back, even if for only a day. I hope that she doesn't hate me, I didn't want to put my job before her, but... it doesn't matter. I can't believe I'm writing all of this to you, a perfect stranger. Again I'm sorry for unloading on you.

Y/n

Bucky sighed heavily, seems she was just as lost and alone as he was. A stranger who just desperately needed someone there that she would continue to write her dead grandmother just to pretend to have someone. The guilt in the way she wrote, he could see that she had been crying when she wrote it, some of the letters smudged as the tears collided with the wet ink.

He grabbed his note book and ripped out another page.

Y/n,

Don't feel guilty, I'm sure she was proud of you. In fact I know she was, you are out there living your life. You are making it on your own and if there is something I know about parents is that is all they want.

Never feel bad for unloading me, I know what it feels like not to have someone that you are comfortable enough with to open up to. And you aren't the only one struggling this year. My family passed away along time ago and this time of year is always the hardest. It's been decades since I have seen them and it still hurts. What I would to just see my sister or hear my ma sing carols, if only for an hour. I was held captive, a POW, and I never got to be there for their lives or their passing.

To be honest, so far this holiday hasn't been easy for me either. I've all but holed myself up in this house since before thanksgiving. Sam keeps trying to get me to join the va group but.. I just can't. I don't think even they would understand.

Hope to hear from you soon.

James

He rushed to get it out the next morning, Bucky wasn't even sure why he felt the need to mail her again but he did. He went about the next two days, checking the mail with a little more enthusiasm then he did before. He knew it was foolish but still he hoped she would mail him again.

On the third day he received two envelopes one gold and one green. One addressed to her grandma and the other to him.

Bucky,

I don't know what it must of been like for you, and I'm not even going to pretend to. And even if they (the va group) don't understand what you went through, it might help to just get it off your chest. Just my opinion and I won't press you on it.

As for me, my company is having a "holiday" party and I'm trying to find excuses not to go. They all know I live alone and that I don't have have any friends out here so I can't use any of the usual excuses. Something about being a round a bunch of people that I really don't want to spend more time then I have to, in a setting filled with drinks and fake holiday decor just puts me ill at ease.

Anyway, my grandma wasn't hip with the times, and I'm hoping you are. (Your email address).

Y/n

Bucky jumped from his spot and rushed over to the computer Tony had given him and fired it up. Excitement coursed through him as he logged onto the email address that Peter had helped him make.

He typed in her email address.

From oldmanbarnes:

Hey-

Y/n,

I may not be hip but I do know how to use a computer.

James

He hit send and then panicked, he forgot that Sam had a hand in the email address. And before he had a chance to respond to it his computer dinged with a reply.

From you:

Re:Hey

Old man Barnes?? Lol! Love the email address. This is kinda cool, hope your having a good day, I'm trying to figure out what I'm wearing to this holiday party.

From oldmanbarnes:

Re:re: hey

Haha yeah, a friend of mine picked it out, he thinks he's funny. And if you don't want to go don't. You could always stay home and a watch a movie, this may sound awkward but we could watch the same movie and then you can tell them you are seeing a movie with a friend.

From you:

Re:re:re: hey

Sounds like a date! Can I wear my pjs? And we have to make hot cocoa!

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ramblinguitar · 2 years

Text

The Life and Death of Ronan Nightshade

Part II

(I can’t find part 1 to link it I’ll add in later

Reblogs welcome.

TW: mild swearing)

I've trudged a week through the country to arrive at the town of Luckless. Yeah, I know, right old name for a farming town. I didn't have to trudge here, but a fella like me walking down the road doesn't inspire many offers for assistance. Mostly 'cause people think I'm going to rob them.

Little do they know they'd be safer with me than most other hitchhikers, but that's for them to not learn. Least I like my own company just fine.

The town of Luckless is...quaint. Nestled against the foothills and higher elevations of the nearby mountain ranges, it was picturesque on the good days. A muddy mess on the others. It has about two dozen families and a few outliers living here. All together, I think there's probably more animals than people. Don't get me started on brain power, either, because the unofficial mayor (or welcoming committee, he didn't actually provide a title) had me questioning these peoples' judgements.

Like. Did they even see a Black Larkspur, or was it just a really big raven? Or an eagle? They aren't too common, but some species can give smaller dragons a run for their meals, and carry off whole calves. Or whole cows, depending on how hungry the eagle is.

I listen to the townspeople explain the situation. Full on hand waving, "dragon-mimicking" included. I didn't laugh, but I wanted to.

They told me that I could follow one of the herders up through the hills to where they had last seen the Black Larkspur flying about, apparently searching for said herder's poor herd. I told them politely that I'd rather go myself, but, bless the brave man's soul, he insisted.

Kind of makes my job harder.

Did I mention I work better alone before? There's a reason for that, and it's not all the questionable shit I can pull in one evening.

I'm allowed to rest for the remainder of the day and evening, and I tell the herder to meet me back at the 'mayor's house early in the morning, since I was going to be sleeping in front of his hearth.

Most dragons are active whenever they feel like it, mostly when roused by hunger being the chief motivator. Some have odd hours, being nocturnal, but they're few and far in between. You have some who favor the patterns of prey animals like deer, and so tend to stick to hunting during dusk or dawn. The townspeople haven't mentioned a pattern from their local dragon, but I'm not sure if that's due to her sporadic behavior or their lack of observation.

I spend some time that evening preparing myself a mask fashioned out of some spare treated leather that I've brought along. It's nothing fancy, and certainly won't win any awards for creativity but it'll do the job. Then I check over all my gear and weapons, and go about generally readying myself for the morning. Because I'm not going to want to do it then. I'm going to want to get up and go. I only hope this herder has the same mentality.

And I can lose him before encountering the Larkspur girl. He'd be, literally, dead weight.

If she didn't eat him, he'd just get in the way.

Or come back to the village, talking.

That might be worse.

....yeah, that'd definitely be worse.

-------

I wake up before the house, and because I'm a decent, nice guy I stoke the fire and gather some logs to replenish the inside stores. I also wanted tea. After the rest of the house wakes, breakfast is had, and then my guide shows up.

I still don't know why I need him. The paths are well worn and visible. They could easily point me in the proper direction. In fact, they already had, sort of. And it wasn't like I couldn't have just snuck off on my own but they're paying me. So I have to follow some of the rules.

Sucks to be me today.

We set off in the direction that the Larkspur was last seen. My guide tries for conversation, but when he glanced back to see me putting on the mask, he quickly shuts up, going a proper shade of white.

I don't bother trying to lose my guide during the hike. One, he was in front. Two, knocking him out would just leave him even more dead weight. Three, I was counting on him being scared shitless to go all the way with me.

Dragons usually had that effect.

I bet right because as soon as the Larkspur let out a roar, the man in front of me froze on the spot. I could almost smell the fear rolling off him in waves. Behind my mask, I grinned.

Not at his fear. I'm not that much of a bastard.

No, it was 'cause of my girl's roar.

I felt it radiate through the earth, seeping up into the soles of my boots. Felt it in my bones. Felt it like lightning. A welcome and a warning.

How I missed the Dragons' songs that would echo off the walls of the Lairs in the blue hours. My chest ached with the memory. One I'd never experience again. Not in this land, at least. Only in my dreams, if I were lucky.

But I hadn't slept enough to dream in years, and I snapped back to the present as I saw my guide stumble back towards me. I grabbed his arm to keep him from falling on his ass, because it's not the place you want to be with a dragon around.

"Get out of here." I told him gruffly.

He got. Good man. Didn't have to argue.

I still watched him careen down through the hills, back towards his village, until the Larkspur called again.

-I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, NIGHTSHADE. I CAN SMELL YOU.-

-GOOD.- I told her. -AT LEAST YOUR NOSE ISN'T BROKEN.-

-NO. BUT YOURS MIGHT END UP SO.-

There was a low rumble from around the bend, then the earth shook as she landed. Clumsily, might I add. She was usually better at it than that. I cast one last glance over my shoulder to make sure my guide hadn't returned, or some of the kids hadn't decided to follow me up. Satisfied that I was alone, I started off.

I rounded the hill to find her waiting for me.

The Black Larkspur was basking in the morning sun. Her scales, which were actually black, seemed to swallow the light as she stood still. But when she shifted her weight, that light was thrown back out, casting prisms across the ripples of her scales like gems sparkling on ocean waters. Her eyes were reptilian in nature with a double lid, and pure crimson, reflecting back out all she saw. If she'd chosen to, her wings could have easily blot out the sun. She was larger than the town's largest barn, and her long, sharp claws could have rent the roof right off that barn more efficiently than a spring storm.

She was a storm in her own right. A brilliant, beautiful, lethal one.

She snaked her neck down to look at me as I drew closer. I didn't draw a weapon, not yet. I walked right up within six feet, and she lowered her head so we were eye level. Her head was larger than me, and her jaws definitely could have snapped me clean in two. Not to mention what damage her teeth or claws could have done.

I grinned.

She growled.

-NIGHTSHADE, WHAT IS ON YOUR FACE?-

----

-WELL, THAT WOULD BE A MASK.-

#ronan nightshade #writing #short stories #work in progress #writblr #writers #dragons #red rising #sci-fi #fantasy #lotr #Witcher

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copperbadge · 7 years

Note

You are so cool man. Okay, I just got into investing as in I opened an account with bank of america merrill edge for retirement but haven't done anything else. I know I should like buy safe stocks and stuff, but I am so wary of researching this. like i just don't trust sources that i google or magazines (my dad was interested in stocks and lost a lot of money so I just can't trust him or those magazines). I see that you have set up different markets (target retirement, inflation protected), (1/2

(2/2) and other funds. How did you get started? Where did you research? Like books or things. Thank you for your time!

Aw, thank you Anon! So, this is a little bit of a narrative, buckle up. (There is a readmore below! Read more!)

When I got my first “real” job that came with a 401K, I knew so little about investing that I just designated all my money into the one fund that Vanguard said was “meant for if you’re going to retire between these two dates”. And I left that there for about a year, which was probably the smartest thing I could have done, because I got my 401K in January of 2008 and in March the entire economy fell apart.

But the longer I spent in that job, the angrier I got that I even had a 401K, because it looked to me like I was being forced to play the stock market by the government. I was well aware that mandatory retirement savings was instituted to protect the elderly but I was bitterly angry about a) not having access to that money NOW, when I was profoundly poor and could use it to actually make myself more financially stable, and b) being forced to take risks with it in order to continue to support the MADNESS that is our stock-market driven economy. The idea that the economic stability of this country is based on a system nobody understands which reacts to mood is INSANE.

I’m telling you all this because you need to understand that I did not approach the revamping of my retirement investments with the attitude that I would make them make more money. :D My attitude was that, having watched my parents’ 401Ks lose close to eighty grand combined after the crash, I would never see any of this money anyway. It became Monopoly money, a meaningless tally, and the only way I could think to make this positive was to flip it: use this to learn how investment worked. This is very freeing, though I’m sure some people will also feel it is very stupid. But the upshot is that I still am entirely unconfident that my money will be where I put it when I go looking for it in thirty years, or that the amount I will have been able to save/raise from investing will truly be enough to support a retirement. I’m a Millennial. We expect to get fucked.

ANYWAY SORRY THAT GOT DEPRESSING.

So I approached my investments not as a way to make money, but primarily as a way to learn economics, and secondarily as a way to help people. Some of my funds are designed to be lucrative, or at least stable (Pharma, Bonds, the Target fund) but some are designed to be good: socially responsible funds, small business investments, emerging international markets.

You are wise to be wary of stocks -- there are stock funds you can invest in, but they are one among many and generally have a higher risk profile than most other forms of investment. Investing via a retirement account is different from playing the stock market; you have more choice, and there are more stable investments open to you. What you see in my spreadsheet are funds that already existed which I could invest in -- I didn’t build any of those, they came prefab. I just had to figure out wtf they were.

Okay so how did I learn. Well, I decided I was going to understand how my 401K worked and what my options were, so I logged into the Vanguard website and I started poking around. Vanguard had a list of all the funds I could invest in, but most of them were incomprehensible gibberish. What the fuck is an inflation-protected security? I asked myself.

And then I thought, I have google. I can in fact find out. Inflation-protected was an adjective, so clearly the first thing to learn was what a Security was. So I googled “what is an investment security” and I read through articles until I felt I understood. Then I rewrote what a security was in my own language, so that I was sure I would retain an understanding, and I dove into what “inflation-backed” meant. It’s a fancy way of saying “savings bonds that attempt to match inflation but do not ambitiously attempt to earn real money with their investments”. Basically “put your money here and it won’t lose value. But it won’t make any more money either.”

Well. That sounded like a good safety fund. So I put a bit of money into it and when the money didn’t disappear between one quarter and the next, I started siphoning “profits” -- significant money that any of my other investments have earned, say anything above about $250 -- into the safety fund on a quarterly basis.

It’s my favorite fund. It just chugs along, doing its best. Once in a while it has a really good quarter and I pat it and say, “That’ll do, 0119. That’ll do.”

The point of all this is that basically I studied my options and, when those options proved incomprehensible, I started researching not the fund but the concept of the fund. I wanted to understand not why I should invest in something, but what that thing even meant. Lots of funds are groups of stocks, but some are bonds, some are other things -- my favorite lolarious investment vehicle is the “fund of funds” in which a hedge fund is made up of investments in other hedge funds -- and it’s important to know that stuff.

Every time I hit a word I didn’t understand, or a word that was being used in an unfamiliar context, I looked it up. It sometimes took me an entire afternoon to understand a single investment offering. Did I know what an emerging market was? Well, I could take a guess, but I’d look it up anyway, just to be sure. Vanguard was SOME help -- it told me how stable/risky an investment was -- but Vanguard also continues to yell at me that my stock/bond mix is out of whack, so you have to be very choosy in when you listen to the paternalistic overlord to whom you are entrusting your money to invest.

I approached investing at the age of 25 the way I approached reading John Mill at the age of fifteen: I read everything, looked up what I didn’t understand, and painstakingly rewrote it in language that broke down the concepts in a way that would be useful and meaningful to me. What you can’t see in that investment spreadsheet is the second sheet where I have dozens of notes on word definitions and economic meanings for ordinary words. I took it out because it wouldn’t be useful to anyone but me; it’s by me, for me. I don’t use it much anymore because my investments have stabilized out, I’m happy with the mix I have, but it’s there if I need it. And more importantly, writing it helped me to internalize all those terms.

I still read everything Vanguard sends me -- every quarterly prospectus, every statement. Usually there’s no use to be made of what they tell me, but I read it anyway, just in case, and if I find I don’t understand what I’m reading, I back up and start looking shit up again. And sometimes if I’m having a good year, I’ll start looking at new investments I could make, and the process begins anew.

So my recommendation to you, at the end of all this, is that rather than aim at investing in safe or lucrative stocks, bonds, etc., aim to understand what is safe versus what is not, what is stable and why. You do this by looking at what is on offer -- what CAN you invest in with your new retirement account? -- and carefully working out what each thing really is. Know what you want to invest in and what your goals in investing are, and stick to them.

At the point where you understand what exactly you’re investing (or considering investing) in, you won’t need recommendations for specific names of investments or specific stocks -- you’ll be looking for recommendations for types of investment or types of stock, because you’ll know about what your risk tolerance is and can select for yourself based on how risky or stable they appear to be. Then only a seismic event like what happened in 2008 can really upset your investments, but events like that can’t be predicted for in any meaningful way by people not deeply immersed in the culture. So I throw out those “black swans” because I’ll never be able to compensate for them fully, and I do my best with a balance of very boring, no-money safety funds and interesting, hopefully socially helpful risk funds. (My social-consciousness fund did not make money for the first three years I invested in it. But I felt strongly that my money should go to ethical, socially conscious companies, so I kept paying in, and eventually it started earning.)

So, three places to begin your quest:

Google -- I always went to google first, because it gave me options. I could open several pages about the same thing at once and compare them.

Investopedia -- Nine times out of ten, where I landed when googling was Investopedia. It’s a comprehensive resource for learning about investments and investment terminology. You kind of have to go in with a specific question in mind, and your mileage may vary, but I found it very helpful.

Your investment website -- the use of this site is twofold. One, you should be able to get a list of everywhere you can invest -- every fund you can put money in. You don’t have to build a fund of stocks yourself; they’ve done that kind of thing for you. So look at what’s available, because each one should have a little summary of what it is and how risky it is. This is your jumping-off point to start googling terminology. But also, just log in and click around until you know where everything is. Do this weekly for a while. Vanguard does not have a very intuitive website but if they ever change their site structure I’ll be fucked because at this point I know from muscle memory where everything is -- how to reallocate funds, move them between investments, look at lists of investments, etc. Knowing this takes a lot of the brainwork out of just getting around the site, which in turn frees up bandwidth for remembering what things mean.

Good luck! Remember each of us has our own way of learning. You just gotta find yours :D

#adulting #Anonymous

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