#I think it's better to let Bucky have more complicated feelings towards Steve

[daydreamerdrew]

Winter Soldier (2012) #15

[littleseasiren]

Fight for me - Part 4

Summary: After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Woman's Shelter, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you've ever met. He thinks you're too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Language, kissing, violence at the end (not against reader or Bucky)

Words: ~ 3000

A/N: Grammarly is my beta reader, so any mistakes are my own. If you want to be added to my tag list, please comment or message me. Comments and reblogs will be appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Series Masterlist

In the morning you find yourself in the kitchen, talking to Wanda who's making pancakes for breakfast.

"So, it seems someone had an interesting night. Want to talk about it?" Wanda asks as she flips a pancake.

An interesting night? More like an amazing night... you chuckle to yourself. "How do you know? Did you see it in my mind or something?"

"I don't do that unless other people's lives depend on it. You're just easy to read. I can feel your excitement," she winks at you before sliding a couple of pancakes in your plate.

"Oh," you think back on the late-night chat you had with Bucky, at how amazing the kiss was between the two of you. "Bucky and I kissed..." you grin at her.

"Yes! Finally, something good happened in the tower for once. How was it?" She leans over the kitchen nook, staring at you intently.

"It was amazing Wanda. He was so incredibly sweet and considerate, asking me how he could make me comfortable. He didn't grab me, didn't push me into anything... Honestly, it was just perfect. And the kiss - I swear I saw stars when our lips met," you whisper eyes lighting up at the memory.

"Awe, you two are adorable. Natasha's going to be so jealous when she finds out she missed this! I told her it was bound to happen. Even I can see there's something between the two of you." Walking back to the pancakes, she continues to heap more onto a separate plate. When you woke up this morning, you found out Natasha had been assigned to an unexpected mission and had left at sunrise.

"Yeah, Bucky's just different, you know? Never in my wildest dreams would I think I'd be ready for someone new, but I guess life has its plans."

"Well, it makes sense that you two are good together. You both have had some crappy things happen to you in the past, maybe you two found each other so you could help each other. Make each other better..."

"Yeah, maybe. Jeeze, I'm getting ahead of myself, we haven't even been on a date yet." You take a bite of your pancake and hum in delight. "You make a mean pancake Wanda."

"Thanks, hon. Here let me add a couple more before the guys get here and eat everything." She quickly adds to your plate, making you wonder how you will ever be able to finish so much food. "Steve and Bucky went on their morning run. Sam decided to join them today so be prepared for a lot of complaining from him. He hates it when they run circles around him. They should be back any minute now."

Just as she's finished talking, you both hear loud voices coming towards the kitchen. "You two are going to kill me! I'm not a super soldier that can run super fast and has endurance for days! I'm just a normal man!"

"Sam, we told you to take your time. You didn't have to try and keep up with us." Steve says as the three of them enter the kitchen, making Wanda roll her eyes at them.

"I could have kept up if the Bionic Man over here wasn't running around like a puppy on a sugar rush!"

"Sorry Sam," Bucky says as he grins at you. "I had a good night."

"Yeah, I'd say," Wanda says under her breath, your eyes widening at her comment.

You know Steve must have heard her comment but, being the gentleman he is, he doesn't say anything and just smiles at you. Wanda hands each of the men a plate with pancakes, Bucky and Steve's plates piled high. Steve and Sam keep Wanda occupied at the counter while Bucky slowly walks to you. "May I?" He indicates to the empty seat next to you.

"Of course, have a seat."

He sets his plate down and then turns towards you, rubbing his jaw. "So, I have to ask. When you agreed to go on a date with me, was it just something you agreed to late at night, or do you really want to go on a date with me?"

"Yes, I really want to go out on a date with you," you softly touch his jaw, "can we go out tonight? Or are you Avengers busy tonight?"

He leans into your touch, smiling at you. "I don't care if we're busy or not. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Perfect," you whisper to him as you both lean in for a quick kiss.

Just before seven he pulls up and finds you waiting for him. When he steps out of the car, he eyes you up and down, giving you a lopsided grin. "Doll, you look exquisite. But you didn't have to wait for me, I could have come in and walked you out."

"I didn't want Martha to give you trouble and convince you I'm not worth the effort." You bite your lip, nervous now that he's here. When was the last time you went out on a date?

"Hey, look at me." Your eyes shoot up to his. "I'm not afraid of that old broad, you are worth everything. I'm still astounded that you want to go out with me."

"You're so sweet Bucky." He opens the car door for you as you walk closer. Holding onto the door, he asks, "Can I get a kiss for being so sweet?"

He's grinning down at you, but the look in his eyes shows you how eager he is to be close to you once again. With your heels on, it's easier to reach up and slowly clasp your hands behind his neck and pull him closer, kissing him and showing him how much you missed him.

"Come on doll. Let's get out of the street before I get other ideas. I hope you are ok with Chinese. Heard from a birdie it's one of your favourites," he says as he helps you into the car. He quickly runs over to his seat.

"I love it! I'm betting Wanda is your informant right? Since Nat left early this morning?"

The corner of his mouth lifts. "Afraid not, doll. Natasha and I go way back, so she gave me the inside scoop first thing this morning."

"Yeah, she's a good friend. Wait - what do you mean you two go way back? I thought the team only found you a couple of months ago?"

Bucky's mouth sets in a hard line, his brows knitted. "Um, guess you don't know. He - I - I mean we met when we both were still in Hydra. The Winter Soldier taught a lot of the young Widows, Nat included. Took me a while to remember but she helped fill in the blanks." He glances at you, worried about how you would take the information.

"So I don't have to worry about competing with the Black Widow for your affection?" You pout playfully, making Bucky chuckle in surprise, once again relaxing his shoulders.

"No doll, I'm all yours."

When you arrive at the restaurant, Bucky charmingly opens the door for you, helping you out of the car and into the venue.

"I hear they have the best steamed pork buns here." His deep voice calls out as you glance down at the menu.

"Ooh! They're my favourite! Can we get some? I know they're expensive but they're so yummy!"

"Of course. We can get anything we want. If you decide you want everything on the menu we can get that too. Tony gave me this fancy credit card with a huge salary for going on missions. Want to help me make a dent in it?"

Eyes beaming with happiness, you and Bucky go over the whole menu, deciding on what you would like to order and share.

"I think we have enough food to feed a small army," you giggle. "Or a normal woman and a beefy super soldier, with some leftovers perhaps."

"Since you know me, I'm not going to pretend to be a gentleman and not eat everything on this table. But we'll definitely order more, just so we have leftovers. Everybody knows Chinese food tastes amazing the next day too..."

"Exactly! Bucky Barnes, you just might be the perfect man..." you both laugh, drinking your wine and eating when the food arrives.

"So, why were you up so late last night or rather this morning?" You question.

"Honestly, I don't sleep a lot. I... I still have a lot of nightmares, about being him again, about all the bad things I've done... I dream about being their puppet and going on missions again, about being back in that chair," his eyes are distant as he tells you, the memories never leaving his mind.

"Is Hydra - were they involved in your metal arm?"

"Uh, mostly yes. We, the Howling Commandos, were on a train high up on a mountain cliff, trying to stop Hydra. They had this advanced weaponry, and one blast opened the train wall. I fell off the train, into the icy snow, most likely hitting my arm on the way down. I thought I would die there from the cold. When I heard voices, I thought Steve had found me. But, as you can guess, it was Hydra. According to the files, by that time my arm was so damaged that they had to amputate it and decided to give me this," he wiggles his metal arm.

"I'm so sorry, Bucky. That- I can't even imagine what the past seventy years must have been like for you."

"Thanks, doll. I'm afraid to ask, but I'm pretty sure you can understand a little bit what it's been like. Your life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows either. That's why you couldn't sleep last night, right?"

"A big part of it, yes. Last night I just remembered that my ex wouldn't let me have friends, he wanted me for himself. He would have done everything he could to remove people like Natasha and Wanda from my life. Definitely wouldn't have even allowed me to meet someone like you. Someone who could take him on and probably win."

"You didn't have any friends? For how long?"

You shake your head, "Nope, no friends. For as long as I was with him. The one friend who dared to reach out, who went to visit me to help me leave him, she didn't make it. He broke her jaw and when she was in ICU there was a mistake and they gave her penicillin, which she was allergic to. She died in the hospital. After that, he got a lot more violent until I got out..."

You look down and see a crack in his wine glass, his knuckles white with how hard he was trying to control himself.

"It's ok, Bucky. I got out..." you gently touch his fist, trying to calm him down.

His eyes darken, his expression is serious and somber. "Doll, you can't ever tell me his name. If I... If I can find him, I'll fucking kill him. And no one will ever discover his rotting corpse." He gently takes your hand, the cool metal an amazing contrast to your warm hand.

"I know Bucky. I know..." You both lean in for a short kiss, taking strength from each other's presence.

Your first date with Bucky turned out to last more than three hours, the conversation flowing between the two of you. You talked about all the serious things, like Bucky's mother and sister who had passed away while he had been Hydra's captive. You told him about the evening your ex forced you to say such awful things to your family, making sure you could never go to them for help, the disgust in yourself evident in your voice. But you also discussed trivial things like music and movies, your favourite colours and your favourite seasons.

Driving back to the shelter, you hold his right arm, playing with the veins popping out of his hand, your mind and stomach content at the amazing night the two of you had. "I had a great time tonight, thanks Bucky."

"I should be the one thanking you, doll. I'm honoured that such a beautiful woman would be willing to go out with an ancient man like me."

You giggle as he winks at you. "Guess I have a thing for older men," you can't help but tease him.

"Phew, that's a good thing. Think you can let this old man take you on a second date tomorrow?"

Pulling to a stop, he helps you out of the car once more. "Can I kiss you again, doll?" He slowly inches closer to you, his hands back in his pockets.

"I'd love to Bucky." You feel like your heart is going to burst out of your chest with how happy you are.

Instead of answering, you bridge the gap between the two of you and lean into him, running your fingers over his sculpted jaw before standing on your toes to kiss him, grasping onto his shirt to pull him closer.

His tongue strokes yours, deepening the kiss, pouring all the passion and desire you have for each other into it. You want to be as close as possible to him, you want to never let him go, you want him to... Breaking the kiss, you look up at him. His eyes are dark with desire, and only a small bit of blue can be seen.

"Hold me, Bucky. Please. I'm not afraid of you," he sees the trust in your eyes and slowly complies to your request. His metal hand grasps your waist, while his flesh hand cups your cheek as he kisses you again. Goosebumps form on your skin at his touch, his big hand grasping you from your ear to the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer. Breathing heavily, you both pour everything into the kiss, tasting each other.

At the hoot of a horn, you two pull apart, Bucky glaring at the cabbie cheering you on as he drives past. "You make me crazy, doll." His mouth curves into a smile, eyes twinkling with delight.

"Let me walk you-" you look up at him, wondering why he's quiet all of a sudden. He studies the shelter, seemingly sniffing the air and cocking his head to the side to listen. Before you even realise he's moved, he's already reached into the car's glove compartment and pulled out a gun.

Your heart is beating a thousand miles an hour. "No, I'm not leaving you Bucky." When he starts to reply, you interrupt him and repeat your answer. "I feel safer with you. And I need to know what's happening."

He says your name as he stares down at you making sure you are listening. "Something is wrong in there. I need you to climb in the car and drive to the tower, ok?"

He stares at you, making you worry he will press the issue. His metal hand rubs his forehead as he sighs. "Ok, but you do exactly what I say. Understood?" His voice is that of a Sergeant's, full of command.

"I understand," you reply instantly.

"I'll lead and you stay behind me. Grab onto my belt and don't let go. You got me?" he asks as he lifts your chin so your eyes meet his.

"Got it."

You grab onto his belt as he holds the gun firmly in his right hand, cupping it with his left. With darkness around you, the two of you step into the building, the doors wide open. Not a single lock in place. Slowly the two of you check every room, before starting to walk to the kitchen and dining area. You hear Bucky sniff once more. Reaching into his pocket with his left hand, he grasps his cell phone and hands it back to you.

"I need you to call Steve for me, Y/N. It's the same as yours, speed dial one. Tell him to get here now, I smell blood."

With a trembling hand, you do as he says. Steve answers on the second ring as you slowly advance behind Bucky on your way to the dining room.

"Hey, Buck -" Steve starts to say but you interrupt him.

"Steve, it's me Y/N. There's something wrong at the shelter. Bucky has his gun out and he says he smells blood. You need to get here right away."

You expect him to ask more questions but you can already hear Steve move around. "I'm on my way. Stay on the line with me, ok?" you agree as you hear him shout to Sam to go with him.

You can't stop your loud scream when you and Bucky finally enter the large dining room, your hand slipping from his belt. The first thing you see is all the blood on the floor, the bodies of the other women you live with lying stiff on the ground. Blood is spattered on the walls, some even on the ceiling. Bucky spins around and grasps you to him, pulling you into his chest, and blocking the rest of the room from you.

Nausea hounds you as you hear Steve shouting on the phone, your mind miles away. Bucky softly takes the phone from you, speaking to Steve. "Steve, you're going to need the police and ambulance too. And they need to bring body bags - a lot of them. I need to get Y/N out of here. I'm bringing her to the tower. "

"Come on Y/N," Bucky softly grabs your shoulders and turns you around. "We need to leave, now. You don't need to see the rest of it."

The rest of what? You thought you had seen everything... Everything except for what was behind Bucky's large back...

Bucky didn't expect you to turn around, so you take him by surprise as you run past him into the dining room once more.

"Doll!" He calls after you, running to your side. He pulls you into his chest when sobs shake your whole body, the words written in blood printed in your mind permanently.

He won't be able to stop me Y/N. I'm coming for you, my pet.

Tag List:

@dottirose @cjand10 @morganmofresh

[themculibrary]

Hawkeye Masterlist

A Good Feeling (ao3) - dentalfloss T, 81k

Summary: “You work for SHIELD” Barton spat the agencies title at Coulson as though it were the nastiest cuss he knew. “We have nothing more to talk about.” Which was all good and fine, except-

“I have some things to discuss with you, actually,” Tony said and Clint’s bruised and swollen gaze turned towards him. “Many things. Nice things,” he tagged on when Clint’s gaze narrowed darkly. The kid might be passing out in slow motion before them but Tony was well aware he was still a threat and he made no move to approach. “Let me help,” he insisted anyway.

Or: the one where Clint may be a pretty formidable assassin for hire, but he was broke and his brother needed help he couldn’t afford so he needed a legitimate job for a little while. How fortunate Stark Tower was hiring.

Aim (ao3) - visiblemarket clint/phil M, 61k

Summary: Clint “Hawkeye” Barton takes on a contract for one Philip J. Coulson. It all goes downhill from there.

(And uphill for a while. Then downhill again. Mostly downhill, overall).

All in the Family (ao3) - AlphaFlyer M, 3k

Summary: Hawkeye meets the Red Guardian. Alexei is not impressed.

Five Times Clint Saw His Teammates, and One Time They Saw Him (ao3) - rohanrider3 clint/natasha T, 15k

Summary: Everyone runs on something. Clint is better than most at seeing at what that is.

And people–especially the Avengers–are full of surprises.

Or, don’t underestimate the “least powerful” team member just because he fights evil with snark and a weapon from the paleolithic era.

Hawkeye? (ao3) - gunpowder_and_pearls G, 366

Summary: Hawkeye is sent on a mission with a handler as an assignment to assess them. They don’t know he is Hawkeye, but they’ve all heard of him. He was just as legendary as Phil Coulson and Fury.

Just Another Guy With A Bow (ao3) - myrmidryad clint/natasha, clint/phil, darcy/steve, jane/thor N/R, 94k

Summary: Clint's life is a steady progression from point A to point B, but it's everything that happens between those points that make the story interesting. Things like joining the circus, losing Barney, finding Barney, stumbling into SHIELD, trusting Coulson, making a different call when he's sent to kill the Black Widow, and becoming part of the dysfunctional Avengers team.

Masks (ao3) - VespidaeQueen clint/natasha G, 358

Summary: Clint decides he needs a new addition to his Hawkeye outfit.

Once Lost (now found) (ao3) - Teeelsie bucky/clint M, 40k

Summary: There’s a beat and then Phil says, “Clint, you don’t have anything to prove.”

And that stings, because, “If you think I’m doing this to prove anything to anyone, then you don’t know me half as well as I thought you did.” He hears Phil sigh on the other end of the comm. “Besides,” Clint tells him, “I’ll have back-up. I’ll have Barnes. Hawkeye out.” He reaches up and clicks off the comm, cutting off Phil’s continued objection mid-word.

Eight days these assholes have had Barnes and he’s not going to let them keep him for another hour, much less another day. He doesn’t have anything to prove, but he sure as hell isn’t going to give anyone any reason to question his actions, either.

The Best Hawkeye (ao3) - dreamerfound T, 405

Summary: Kate and Clint playfully argue about who is the best Hawkeye

Trading in on Our Names (ao3) - pherryt clint/bucky T, 11k

Summary: Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier didn’t know each others identities. Being mercenaries meant secrets both inside and outside of the jobs. That didn’t stop either of them from admiring from afar, resigned to never going any further.

Then Clint and Bucky started dating and life got a little more complicated…

Two Hawkeyes Are Better Than One, The Mix (ao3) - kultiras, pyroblaze18 (kultiras) G, 516

Summary: Clint Barton, Hawkeye. Kate Bishop, Hawkeye. They may drive each other crazy, but Hawkeyes stick together.

Two Times Hawkeye and Winter Soldier Meet and One Time Clint and Bucky Do. (ao3) - orphan_account G, 511

Summary: The Winter Soldier meets Hawkeye over the years

Who the Hell is Hawkeye? (ao3) - pherryt G, 19k

Summary: In retrospect, Bucky should have seen it coming. Sure, Clint was fast and agile and his marksmanship was out of this world - second to none, even Bucky - but on a team of superheroes, Clint was still all too human.

With Us (Or Without) (ao3) - dentalfloss pre clint/bucky T, 45k

Summary: “What the actual f*@k,” Fury glared incredulously, “are monkey’s doing here?”

“They’re marmosets, Sir,” Hill corrected flatly as Tony looked between them all with glee.

“They’re also with us,” Clint stated, not amused and clearly not giving two shits about anyone’s actual opinion of the matter as he stood there with a marmoset on his shoulder, and Natasha Romanov and the Winter Soldier backing him up.

or: SHIELD handles things badly after Loki, and Clint doesn't take it well. Neither does Natasha.

Youngest In History (ao3) - Aggie2011 T, 55k

Summary: 18 year old Clint Barton was lost. Known only by "Hawkeye" since his escape from military prison, he works as a bow wielding assassin for hire. But a betrayal and an offer bring him to SHIELD and to Agent Phil Coulson who takes on the daunting task of rescuing Clint from his own darkness...and gives him an unexpected gift in the process...hope. Pre-Avengers, NOT slash

[cjsinkythoughts]

It’s All in the Perspective

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4491

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Gun Violence, Minor Character Injury, A Peek at Angry Bucky, Explosions (if that’s a warning), Mentions of Stevie (I really miss him, guys)

A/N: So! Here it is! Part 4.3! After long hours of laboring and slaving away - kidding, kidding. I had a bit of trouble with this part, not gonna lie, because there’s a lot of feelings I wanted to try explaining. To do that, there’s a little sort of twist at the end that, once I decided to put in, made the chapter much smoother to write. I wasn’t happy with it at first, but now I’m satisfied.

There’s a lot of things happening in this one; it’s longer than I had anticipated because of the little snippet at the end I added. It’s got a few scene-for-scene things, but I kinda blew past it just to get to the characters’ emotions and stuff. Plus writing action like the shipping yard scene is hard when you’re not focusing entirely on that scene, which I wasn’t.

You’ll notice that the last little bit with Ayo (the Wakandan) isn’t in this. That’s because I couldn’t really find a way to fit it in and I’m assuming it will fit in better with next week’s episode.

Not beta’d, so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you wonderful people for reading and commenting! I enjoy hearing your opinions and what you like about the show and the series! Enjoy the final Part for Episode 3 and stay tuned for an announcement tomorrow about the One Shots I’ll be doing in relation to this series!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

You and Bucky kept sneaking glances at each other as you walked through the dock, weaving between the different colored shipping containers with Sharon leading the way. Every time you caught his eye, his ears turned red and he looked away, scanning your surroundings. Not that you were any better, immediately turning away when he turned your way.

You almost kissed him. Fuck. You couldn’t let that happen. He was your friend. Your teammate. He was the best friend to the man you fell in love with, who just so happened to be your best friend. Your best friend who left you. Your best friend who you promised you would watch out for Bucky. 

Bucky…who you also fell in love with. Whether or not it was because of Steve, the fact of the matter was: you loved him. You loved both of them. And you’d never loved anyone like that before. And one left. And the other was trying to navigate through his shitty life. And you weren’t any better. Which is why, you decided in that moment, that no matter how much you wanted to - and holy shit did you want to - you wouldn’t pursue. 

Yet. Maybe. Ugh! When did feelings become so complicated?!

When you started having them.

You silently grumbled to yourself, shaking your head clear. You had to focus and be in the moment. Now was not the time to sort out what to do about the suddenly rising emotions towards the cerulean eyed brunette currently burning with you with a gaze you refused to return.

“Alright.” Sharon stopped, making the group stop as well. “He’s in there. Container 4261. I’ll keep an eye out while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry; we’re on borrowed time.”

You each grabbed one of the earpieces she held in her palm, slipping it comfortably in your ear. “I’ll stay back with you.” Sharon went to talk, but you cut her off. “I’d feel better knowing it’s not just you out here.”

She pursed her lips, before nodding. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

“Doll-”

“I’ll be fine, Buck.” You insisted, checking your gun to make sure it was loaded. Bucky stayed quiet, nodding in begrudging acceptance.

You and Sharon headed off as the boys went towards the storage unit. “Just like old times, huh?” Sharon raised an eyebrow at you.

You grinned, shoving your gun in the thigh holster she let you borrow. “Let the good times roll, babe.”

“Absolutely.” Sharon winked, before you two split up to cover more ground. It wasn’t long before Sharon announced company and you took off sprinting in her direction.

You got to her just as more thugs approached her from behind, immediately lunging into action.

“Hey, so, we never finished that conversation!”

You grunted as you roundhouse kicked a guy, hooking your knee over his shoulder and pulling him to the ground by the neck “Really?! You wanna do that now?!”

“Sure! I’m not too busy!”

You rolled your eyes at her reply, seeing her knock a guy unconscious before she turned around to knee another one in the face. “What were we talking about?”

“Why’re you holding back?”

“It’s complicated!” You elbowed a guy in the ribs, flipping him over your shoulder and twisting his arm till a sickening crack sounded.

“Because of Steve?!”

“Yes - no! Kind of!” 

Sharon was on the floor choking a guy out as you slammed a guy’s head into a shipping container, pushing him at another guy. “You loved him didn’t you?! And I mean, like in love with him!”

“Who?!” You laced your fingers around the back of his head and brought his face down onto his knee.

“Director Fury!” You gave her a look which she snorted at. “Steve, you dumbass! Who else?!”

“Yeah! No shit I was in love with him!” You ran up the side of a storage unit to do a backflip and land on some guy’s shoulders, choking him out. Before he fell, you rolled off, tripping a guy in the process and elbowing his throat.

“Well at least you’re admitting it now!”

You were hit in the back of the head, thrown into a wrestle with another guy on the ground. You bit his hand, making him cry out, before you headbutted him. 

“You couldn’t even hear his name without having to remind people you were ‘just friends’!”

“We were just friends, Share! You know that!”

You heard her shoot of a gun a few times as you smacked someone in the back of the head with the butt of your gun, trying to save ammo. “You really never did anything about it?!”

“No!”

She glanced at you incredulously from across the way, bodies now littering the ground. “And you don’t regret that?”

“No.” You sighed at her look, relenting. “Yes. Kind of. I dunno. I mean…he’s happy with his decision, and for me that’s enough.”

“But doesn’t it hurt?”

“Of course it hurts. It hurts like hell. But-”

“But you still have him so it’s all good.”

You bit your lip, shrugging. “Something like that.”

Sharon tilted her head, confused. “So why don’t you tell him?”

“I dunno. I don’t think either of us is ready.”

“C’mon. I saw you two earlier. You should’ve just kissed him.”

Rolling your eyes, you frowned when you noticed something missing. “Ah shit. My ear piece. It must’ve fallen out earlier.” You looked around, but Sharon stopped you, nodding her head between a couple shipping containers. 

“Don’t worry about it. Mine broke a little while ago, too. Let’s go get the guys. Tell them we need to leave.”

You nodded and started running with her to the unit Nagel’s lab was in. You followed her around the corner, only to widen your eyes and shove her out of the way. Two gunshots rang out, Sharon catching the guy right between the eyes, while the man’s bullet grazed your shoulder.

“Ow, fuck.” You hissed, hand immediately going up to clamp your wound.

“Dammit! You shouldn’t have done that, you idiot!”

You gave her a look. “You’re welcome.”

Rolling her eyes, she quickly tore off part of your shirt. “Hey!”

“First off, this is my shirt. Second, I’m just making it more of a crop top. Third, it’s your own fault, so quit your whining.”

“Touchy touchy.” You grumbled, wincing when she tied it around your arm.

“Just come on. And hey,” she turned to you as she sprinted with your wrist in her hold. “My advice? Don’t wait. Seriously. I know it must be weird, the whole he’s his best friend, he was your best friend, now he’s your best friend, thing you’ve got going on, but there’s nothing else stopping you. Steve made his choice. And he’d be fine with whatever you choose as long as you’re happy.”

You shook your head. “But Bucky’s still healing-”

“So? He’s already been on dates. I think you’re just using that as an excuse to protect your heart from hurting again. Trust me; Barnes isn’t going anywhere.”

Not able to respond since you were making your way to the guys in Nagel’s lab, you bit your lip, hating that she got the last say in the conversation. She definitely planned it so she would. “We’re outta time, fellas.”

As if things couldn’t get worse Zemo - that fucking snake, you knew he was gonna do something stupid - took out a gun he got from who knows where. You sure as hell didn’t let him have a gun. Before you could stop him, he shot Nagel, your best, your only, lead.

“Goddammit!” You growled as Sam and Sharon restrained him. “You fucking-”

The explosion came next, again happening faster than you could react. Bucky grabbed you and pulled you underneath him, covering you with his body as glass and metal flew around you. With ringing ears, you groaned, squinting your eyes open.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You were vaguely aware of the alarms going off, a red light blinking behind Bucky’s head. You nodded, his worried eyes softening just slightly at your response. “We gotta get out-”

“I know, I know. C’mon.” He helped you up, eyes catching sight of the makeshift bandage on your arm. “Dammit, what did you do?”

“I’m fine.” You pushed his hands off. “Go help Sharon. We’ve gotta move. Now.” He huffed, but nodded and moved over to get Sharon. You tried to see where Zemo went through the smoke, but he was already gone.

You four made it just before the whole thing combusted due to the chemicals in the lab. So much for any evidence or leads.

The moment you got out, you were thrust into a gunfight, rolling your eyes as Bucky and Sam, once again, did their own thing.

“Are they always like this?”

“Usually it’s worse. Wait until they start arguing about who was right.” Sharon gave you an unamused look to which you nodded at, ducking when a bullet whizzed by you. “I know. It’s so annoying.”

Sure enough, when Bucky ran out of bullets, the bickering commenced, making you huff and Sharon shout at them. “Are they serious?”

You shot a few more bullets before your gun started clicking. “Dammit. Unfortunately.”

“I’m out!”

“Me too!”

Another explosion and a person you couldn’t see clearly through the haze caused a distraction for you guys to get away, Sam practically shoving you and Sharon into an open shipping container as Bucky took care of a couple more bounty hunters.

“What happened? Both of your comms went out.” Bucky growled once he came in behind you, grabbing your forearm to study your wound.

“It’s just a graze. Chill your ass down. I lost my earpiece and Sharon’s broke.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed, his voice low with warning. “What. Happened.”

“We rounded a corner, the guy was there. I shoved Sharon, he shot, she shot, I got hit, he’s now dead. Happy?”

“You promised.” He snapped, finger tightening on your arm. “You said you’d save yourself first.”

“Buck, let go.” Grabbing his wrist, you tugged a bit, wincing slightly. “Seriously. Stop. That hurts.”

He blinked, his features slacking and his fingers immediately dropping your arm. “Doll, I-I…fuck.” He turned to go punch through the back wall to get out of the unit you were in.

Before you could respond and tell him it was fine, the Baron himself drove up in a slick blue convertible. You groaned at Bucky’s response to Zemo. “We need him.” God, you were getting tired of hearing that.

“You’re lucky I don’t bash your head in.” You growled at him. 

“If you try that shit again-”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Sam raised an eyebrow when Bucky got into the passenger’s seat with no hesitation, looking at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but you shrugged and slipped into the back with Sam. Bucky and you always took the back seat. You had ever since the dumb little blue car Steve got.

You hugged Sharon in parting, knowing she couldn’t come with. “Hey.” She looked at you sternly. “Take a leap.”

“We’ll see.” You told her, sitting down and buckling.

“Do better than that, Y/L/N. And get me that pardon you promised me.” She told Sam, pointing at him..

“Thanks for everything.” She nodded, before jogging off in the opposite direction you’d be heading. Sam turned back to the front, an annoyed expression crossing his face. “You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?”

“No.”

You snickered as Sam shot you a glare, Zemo starting to drive the car out of the shipping yard, away from the chaos.

****************

You collapsed onto the seat in front of Bucky, leaning onto the knee he had propped up against the back. He glanced up at you, face blank, before looking back down at his metal hand he was cleaning.

“Here. Let me see-”

“I got it.” He grumbled, shifting away from where your hands reached for his.

Your eyes widened, stunned at his reaction. “Bucky, just let me-”

“I said no, Y/N.” Your name. Again. You can’t remember him calling you ‘doll’ since before the shipping yard explosion.

“Are you okay?” He merely grunted. You straightened off his leg, swatting his knees with the back of your hand. “Hey.”

He shifted again, planting his feet on the floor. “Stop.”

“No.”

He shot you a warning glare. “Y/N-”

“Stop calling me that.”

“It’s your name, isn’t it?”

“What is wrong with you?” You scrunched up your features in confusion and concern. “Is this about my arm? I told you it’s fine.” You got no response except his eye flickering to your now properly bandaged shoulder. “Why are you acting so weird?”

He shrugged. “I’m not.”

You scoffed in disbelief, jaw dropping. “You’re not.”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” You stood up, brushing your legs off, the bare skin having splotches and smears of dirt and dust. “If you wanna be like that, go ahead. Brood. Be a child. When you’re ready to talk to me about whatever the hell is bothering you, like an adult, I’ll be in the back room.”

You only took two steps before he called out for you. “Doll.” You turned around, an expectant look on your features as you crossed your arms, shifting your weight to one foot. He looked up at you nervously, before looking down and picking at the metal plates of his hand. “I got scared.”

Your features softened, your head tilting gently. “Scared?”

“When you stopped talking. You and Sharon…you were talking. But both of your comms went down around the same time and I…it scared me. I-I don’t get scared anymore. Not the way I did when your voice stopped. I didn’t mean to hurt you…” His voice got quieter at the last sentence, his eyes looking to the purple handprint on your forearm.

“It was an accident, Buck.” You reassured him, settling back down in front of him. “It’s fine. You were still reeling it in from the bar. I know it’s hard for you to judge your strength like that. Steve had problems like that too.” You looked down at the rag he was holding, putting your hand out.

He licked his lips, before handing you the rag. You got off the couch to shift so you were sitting between his legs, his chest to your back. Holding his metallic hand between both of yours, you set to work, gingerly wiping away the grime, picking at the filth that wedged itself between the plates.

“He,” you chuckled, shaking your head at the moment you were remembering. “He accidentally gave me a concussion once when we were sparring. At first it was awesome; he got me my favorite take out and took me to the movies and all that. But then he just started getting annoying. Wouldn’t even let me reach for the TV remote on the coffee table a yard away.”

“Can I ask you something?” You hummed, tilting your head slightly when you felt his chin hooking on your shoulder, giving him more room. “How long did you love him?”

Freezing, you raised an eyebrow and turned to face him. “What?”

“You and Sharon. When you were talking…your comms were on.”

“How-” You swallowed thickly, a lump suddenly forming in the back of your throat. “How much did you hear?”

“Yours went out right after you admitted you were in love with him. Hers went out after you said you were just friends.”

Holding in a sigh of relief, you went back to cleaning his hand. “I don’t really know exactly when it happened. After the Battle of New York, maybe. So 2012, I guess? I dunno. I was getting up from falling for him, though. A few years later.”

“Was?”

“I - yeah. I kind of…fell again.”

He hummed, leaning back, taking his chin off your shoulder and unwinding his arm from your waist. “He’s an easy person to fall for. Hell, I’m pretty sure I had a crush on him once upon a time.”

You chuckled at that, raising an eyebrow over your shoulder at him. “I never said I fell for him again. But, yeah. You’re right.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “You like someone else?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Oh…” He cleared his throat as you went back to his hand. “Uh…so you don’t still love him? Steve, I mean?”

“He was the first person I really loved, Bucky. A part of me will always love him.”

Bucky fingers twitched in your hold, the fingers on his other hand tapping against his thigh. “You know…he loved you too.”

You sighed, closing your eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“It’s true-”

“He left, James. If he loved me, why would he leave?”

You could feel his hesitation as his next words left his lips. “I-I dunno.” That was a lie. You could hear it in his voice. If there was one person Steve trusted more than you, it was Bucky. Of course he knew.

“Listen, I really don’t want to talk about this-”

“It’s in the notebook.” You bit your lip as Bucky shifted, pulling out the little notebook from his pocket. “He made lists - he liked lists. He made lists of things you said that made him laugh. Songs that reminded him of you. Little quirks you do that he noticed over the years. He missed you every time you went on a mission and prayed you’d get back safely.”

“James, please-”

“He didn’t want me to let you know. But I had to tell you. You have to know. He loved you.”

You let out a shaky breath as he placed the book on your thigh. You stared at it for a moment, before grabbing it and placing it in his left hand, closing his fingers around it and standing up. “I think…I’m gonna go rest for a bit in the back room. Holler if you need me.”

You didn’t wait for a response, moving quickly to the small back room of the plane which you got dressed in only a couple days ago. It only had one arm chair and instead of a door there was a curtain, but you were fine with that, plopping down in the chair and reclining.

Why? Why would he bring that up? Did he hear more than he said? Was he trying to let you down easy before you could even tell him how you felt? Did he get spooked after dancing? After the almost-kiss?

You never thought of Steve in the wrong. After all he’d done for the world in his life, he deserved to be selfish - to be happy. And Peggy gave him that. But why? Why would he leave if he loved you so dearly? If he really did what Bucky said? He wouldn’t. He’s not cruel. He wouldn’t up and leave, without even saying goodbye, knowing how deeply you loved him and feeling the same about you. This was Steven Grant Rogers for crying out loud! He wouldn’t…right?

But Bucky…he wouldn’t lie to you. He wouldn’t tell you that, especially knowing how much you missed the lovable blonde. And you knew his words held at least some truth. Actions spoke louder than words, and as something Bucky said repeated itself in your mind, you started slipping into a memory, your eyes shutting and your breaths evening out.

“He missed you every time you went on a mission and prayed you’d get back safely.”

~

The incessant knocking made you groan, shouting that you were coming and mumbling curses. You barely threw open the door before his worried voice hit your ears. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

“Stevie.” You sighed, rubbing your eyes and looking over at the clock on the wall. “Bubs…it’s two in the morning. I just got back, like, an hour ago.”

He shuffled, pink lips in a pout, eyes round and distressed. “I know, honey. I know. I’m sorry. But I heard you got hurt-”

You shook your head, a small giggle of amusement leaving your lips and you lifted your right hand, letting him see the black split holding your ring and pinky fingers. “I jammed my fingers in a door. The doc said I’ll be fully healed in a month at most.”

His eyes darted across your face and down your body, scanning for any more injuries. After glancing at your hands again, they finally landed on your eyes once more. Next thing you knew, you were being held against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck. You hummed softly, running your fingers down his spine, moving the two of you deeper into your apartment so you could shut the door.

“Don’t ever do that again. I gotta have faith in something and if you come home hurt, it’ll be crushed.”

Your eyebrows knit together. At his strange wording. “What’s that mean?”

“It means you have to promise me you’ll stay safe, honey.” He pulled back and held your face between his hands. “Please.”

“I can promise I’ll try my best.” You teased lightly, smiling at him and booping his nose, making him grin, although it was strained. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? We’ll turn on some TV in my room and you can keep me safe while I get much needed sleep.”

That made his grin relax into a real one, his head nodding in agreement. “Sounds perfect.”

“C’mon, bubs.” You took his hand, leading him to your room. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and you’ll catch some zzzz’s too.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“What the hell was that?”

Bucky turned to Sam, who was gaping at him in utter disbelief, looking from the assassin to the doorway Y/N just walked through. “She needed to know.”

“Buck, she’s been dealing with some shit. And we both know something’s going on that she isn’t telling us. Her “zoning out” isn’t just zoning out, and we know that. She doesn’t need you confusing her even more.”

“Confusing her?”

Sam blinked, his troubled expression falling into a deadpan. “Are you fucking with me? No. There’s no way you’re that naive. Seriously?! Man, c’mon!”

Bucky scrunched up his face. “What?”

“She likes you, man! Everyone knows it!”

The brunette shook his head, forehead creased. “No. No, you heard her, Sam. She’s in love with Steve.”

“Was in love. As in past tense.”

“But-but she said- she likes someone else-”

“Barnes!” Sam threw his hands up, exasperated. “You are someone else!”

“I thought you two were already-”

Bucky pointed warningly at Zemo. “Watch it. Wait, wait-” He turned back to Sam. “But I heard her-”

“Bucky…man…” Sam sighed, shaking his head. “Listen, I can’t tell you everything. I’m not about to break my girl’s trust like that. But you gotta hear me when I tell you she likes you. What do you think almost happened at the party?”

“She - I - it was…an accident?”

Sam spluttered, eyes wide. “An accident? You two grinding and nearly making out was an accident?!”

“Woah! We were not…grinding-”

Zemo hummed. “Hmm…you kind of were.”

Bucky glared at him. “Thin. Fucking. Ice.” He whipped back to Sam. “I just remind her of him.”

“What?! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You remind her of Steve? Yes, granted your both dumbasses, but she knows both of you enough to know there’s quite a few big differences.”

“Wilson-”

Sam held up his hand, shutting Bucky up. “You like her. Yes or no.”

Bucky huffed, looking down at the hand she was holding only minutes ago. “Yes.” He finally relented. “Since the first couple months in Wakanda.”

“Steve liked her. Yes or no.”

He ran a hand through his hair, nodding his head. “Yes. Yes he liked her. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“So explain something to me.” Sam crossed his arms. “Why is it that Steve isn’t here, and you are?”

Bucky crossed his arms, brooding - although he’d never admit it - while staring out the window. “Steve…knew. I liked her. And, yes, he loved her, but he also loved Peggy. So he…”

“He told you to take your chance with Y/N, and he went back to be with his first love.”

HYDRA’s former fist nodded with a sigh. “Something like that.”

“You need to tell her.”

“I can’t.”

Sam groaned. “Why not?!”

“Because!” Bucky took a breath, trying not to shout and alert the sleeping girl in the room over, his ears tuning into her slowed heartbeat to make sure she was okay. “Because Steve has her heart, Sam. The whole thing just…I’m jealous of him. Because he got her first. And then I get mad because he didn’t do shit about it. And then I feel guilty because all the shit he put up with for me and here I am complaining…and then I just get…depressed because he’s not here. I used to be the one who fixed his problems. But after I got out…he’s been the one fixing mine. And I just…I don’t know what to do.”

Sam shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I get it. That’s valid. But stop whining and moping around about it. It happened. And you need to get your shit together. If not for your sake, for hers. Because she lost him too. And she’s probably feeling those exact same feelings.”

“But…she’s his girl-”

“No. She’s not. He made his choice.” Sam nodded towards Bucky. “Now you gotta make yours,  Buckaroo.”

He shot him a glare. “You can’t call me that.”

“Why not? Y/N calls you that.”

“Y/N has a plan.”

“We both know that’s not true, Buckaroo. Hey! That one rhymed!”

Bucky shook his head with a scowl. “I will beat your ass, Wilson.”

Sam scoffed, shoving Bucky’s head playfully. “Stop being a dumbass and tell her. Buckaroo.”

“That’s it!”

Bucky tackled Sam to the ground, Zemo giving them an amused expression before leaving to talk to Oeznik. They were so wrapped up in their wrestling session, they didn’t notice the woman leaning against the wall, tired eyes barely opened as her eyebrows raised, unimpressed.

“Are you fellas done?’

They both stopped, shooting up when they noticed her. “Doll, I-”

She shook her head. “Don’t, Buck. Not right now. I’m just really tired.”

“Did we wake you?” Sam winced.

She shook her head again, yawning. “No. I just needed to use the restroom.”

Bucky couldn’t help the small smile as she rubbed her eyes, stretching her arms overhead, making that ripped crop top ride higher up. She was too cute. And she didn’t even realize it.

“Sleep well, doll. We’ll try to keep it down.”

She nodded, turning and waving over her shoulder. “You two try getting sleep, too, alright? Goodnight, Sammy.”

“Night, cher.”

“Sweetheart?” She peeked through the curtain, tilting her head slightly. “You know I love you, right?”

A small smile quirked up her lips, but it was sadder than the ones his question usually elicited. “As long as you know I love you.”

He nodded, returning the half-smile. “G’night, doll.”

“Goodnight, Buckaroo.”

[ramp-it-up]

...And Forever

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Enhanced!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

AU: MCU A/U, after TFATWS

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Read at your own risk. Alternate MCU facts/timeline, lies, cursing, angst,  oral, (F, M receiving) fingering, spit play rank kink, size kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up!), sex on a pool table, semi-public sex, a special surprise, stalker-ish behavior, almost Dark!Steve? Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N: I am an MCU nerd but not a timeline detail gal. Please forgive me if the timeline is off. This is an alternate universe and a work of fiction. Please have fun with it! This is the second part to Always.  Enjoy!

---------------------

You opened your eyes to see that you were in what looked like a break room. There was a coffee machine, a round table with five chairs, a row of lockers, two Captain Americas, and a Winter Soldier.

There was some strange conversation going on.

“Then who gave me the shield at the lake…?”  

Sam was questioning Steve, but he stopped talking when you started moving around.  You must have still been in the wedding venue, because you saw the name of the historic building on various items in the room. 

You scowled up at Sam, Bucky and Steve.

You moved to sit up and Steve was at your side. “Easy…”

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

You squinted at Steve. His hair was shorter and he was clean shaven, but he was still gorgeous. Those blue eyes were full of concern. 

You raised your hand, and he held it, holding it and caressing it as you raised it to his face.

“Is it really you?”

Steve smiled ruefully at you. “Yeah, it’s me.”

You held his cheek and looked at him, bringing your other hand up to the other side of his face. He smiled at you. 

You grabbed him and hugged him hard, and then pulled back again as he held you in his arms. He moved back and pursed those ruby red lips. 

You had this irresistible urge to...slap the shit out of him. And so you did.

The sound reverberated in the room. Steve just stared up at you, with that fucking beautiful face, and then smiled, rubbing his jaw as if it hurt. 

But you knew it didn’t. And you were tired of the bullshit.

Sam and Bucky moved to calm you down, but you were too quick for them, pacing to the other side of the room. 

“All of you can stay the hell away from me. Y’all have some fuckin nerve. Especially you, Steven.”  

Your Houston accent was shining through with your anger.

“Wow, Sweetheart, that was harsh. But I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

You pointed at Steve.

“Fuck you.” 

You were seething, especially when he raised his eyebrow at your comment. But he quickly fixed his face when he saw the rage on yours. You looked at Sam, who just looked down, and at Bucky, who looked like he was in pain.  

Fuck thier feelings.

“I deserve your anger. I didn't tell…” Steve tried it. 

“You don’t deserve a got damn thing. Not even my anger.” 

Steve was stone faced at your vitriol. You were shaking, trying to control your emotions and not cry.  You were so hot. You fought to keep your voice steady.

“I thought you were dead.” It came out as a ragged whisper. But you knew everyone heard you.

Your voice was low, even, and scary. Bucky looked at you with wide eyes. Your own were brimming with tears.

“I thought you were dead and that they didn’t want to tell me.” 

You waved your hand at Bucky and Sam. And you waited until Steve looked you in the eyes again. 

“I thought you were in prison, that someone, on some alien star, forced you to play some sick gladiator games. Or that HYDRA was still around and they turned you into an agent for them. Or that you lost your memory in the blip. So many scenarios played in my mind, Steven.”

Steve knew better than to talk. This was his time to listen.

“But I never ever once thought that you chose this. Never thought it was your choice to leave and to stay away.”

“Listen…” Sam started speaking.

“Shut the fuck UP, Samuel.” 

If you had Bucky’s knives, all of them would be seriously injured right now.  

“You knew that he was alive and you didn’t tell me. Despite me begging for any kind of information.”  

Sam just pursed his lips and returned your glare.  You were right.

You went and stood in front of Bucky.

“James…” 

He looked at you, those pained eyes making your stomach flip.  

“How could you?  You knew?”

He just stared at you. Retreating into not speaking.

Steve spoke up.

“Yes, I left. Yes, it was my choice.  I thought I could… Well, let’s just say that hindsight is 20/20 and you can’t ever go back. I swore Sam and Buck to secrecy and I asked them to take care of you.  This all just got out of hand.  Didn’t it Buck?”

You watched Steve in disbelief and you swiveled your head toward Bucky and Sam again.

“You both lied to me. And Sam. Did you tell Steve to come back and ruin my life?”

Sam scoffed, offended. “No. I didn’t. S.H.I.E.L.D gave Steve quarterly updates.  You and Bucky happened so fast…” 

You ignored his explanation.

“But you knew exactly where he’d gone.”

“Yes.” Sam was cornered.

You turned back to Bucky. 

“I asked you a question earlier. Did you know?”

He nodded, imperceptibly.  “Doll… I…”

“James Buchanan Barnes. You knew?” Your heart was breaking even more than it was.

“Yes, but it’s complicated. He didn’t come back, at least not the way he left, and I thought it was a done deal. I thought he found…”

You interrupted him. 

“What. Happiness?” 

You turned back to Steve. “Is that what you were looking for, Steve? Happiness?”

“Sweetheart, you made me happy, I just had the chance to finally settle some unfinished business.”

You nodded.

“So James here took advantage of your little vacation to get with his best friend's girl while you explored your other options. Cool.”

It was not cool.

“Do you remember when you asked me if you could trust me, Steve?”  

He just gave a little smile and came to stand before you, looking down at you in that way of his.  He was trying to shake you. You were unshakeable. You raised your chin and looked right in his eyes.

“What you don’t understand is that you can’t pick and choose the pieces of life that you want, Steven.” 

You moved away from all of them. Steve stepped toward you, but stopped when you held up your hand.

“I’ve lived my life for everyone else, for this country, for as long as I can remember.  I deserve a little piece of life, Sweetheart.”  

Steve really believed what he was saying.

“What about me? Do I get a choice?”

Steve looked around at his two best friends, who were now best friends, and his best girl.

“You’re right. I think you should. You should choose.”

Your mouth hinged open. You spoke at the wall, then looked at Bucky.

“What about you, James? Do I need to choose?”

Bucky walked in front of you

“No Doll. You don’t have to choose.”  

You looked up into his eyes.  Damn, he looked so handsome in his bespoke grey suit that he chose for the wedding. And the tie that you gave him set off his eyes.  

“I just….  I just wanted a piece of happiness too. I knew you were Steve’s girl.”  He took both of your hands in his. 

“I don’t deserve you. When Steve didn’t come back, and you and I connected, I couldn’t help it. I was just going to keep an eye out, but…”

He gave you that cute little side smile of his.  And then he kissed you. It was short and sweet and oh so hot. You looked up at him, shook to the core. And then he ruined it all.

“I love you Doll. It was nice while it lasted.” 

Bucky was giving up. 

You nodded and backed away. Not believing this situation. 

“Ok. I’m making my choice.” 

You raised your chin and looked at Steve and Bucky.

“I’m not some fucking marble that you pass around, play with, and trade with your friend.” 

You took a deep breath.  “I choose me.”

You were gone in a flash, before they could even register it.  And although they ran, they couldn’t catch you before you were out of reach.

-----

Three months later, you walked through the late August soup of Houston heat to the bar, pausing when you thought you heard footfalls behind you. You used your speed to zip along to Willy’s; you were safe there.

You were back sharking with the best of them.  But your training was put to good use.  You never got burned and you never got caught.  You were making a good living.  

There were a jumble of misfit super humans who had gathered there with you.  You were a leader now. And you were doing well on your own. It was a life.

You already knew he was coming, and maybe that’s why you moved to the back room to play.

You were prepared, but when you felt him, you still lost your breath.  But you recovered quickly, straightening your spine, despite the fact that he was standing so close to you.

You looked at the dartboard on the wall across from you and chalked your cue.

“Don’t you have other things to take care of? Other wheres? Other whens maybe?”

You learned more about time travel since you’d left New York, and you understood more of what happened. 

The Avengers had access to time travel.  If only you could go back… but no. You were stronger than those men.  You could live with your decisions. And move forward.

“No. What I need to take care of is right here. Right now.”  

His deep growl stirred something inside you, and you fought your body, which was becoming moist at his proximity.

You bent over the table, super soldier dick poking you in the ass before you drew your pool cue back sharply into his stomach.  Abs of steel met the cue and nearly broke it.  He just stepped aside and shook his head at you.

You turned your head to look into his aqua blue eyes and you fell in love all over again.  Shit.

You gave up and turned around, leaning back against the pool table, because he wasn’t giving an inch, not moving from your space.

You scanned the room and your people were watching, but keeping your distance. They all knew who he was, and your history. They gave you space, but wouldn’t let you be hurt without a fight. You nodded at them and they all went to the front, giving you more privacy.

He nodded in their direction. 

“People fall under your spell fast, I know that all too well. They trust you.”

You lifted your head. “I’ve never done anything to make them not trust me.”

He sighed.  “Point taken.”

“Why did you come here?  I know that you’ve known where I was. Sam must have told you.” 

“I’ve known where you were. How could I not? I didn’t need Sam to tell me. It’s not like you were trying to hide.”  

He cocked his head at you.

“But the reason that I’m here, now, is that I’ve always been slow at math. And I just put two and two together.”

You smirked up at him. “You’re right. This is home. A leopard doesn’t change her stripes.”

He just chuckled at your evasion.

“You wanna play a game?” 

His eyes followed you, undeterred by your challenge.

You walked around to the other side of the table, leaned over and gathered the balls to be racked. 

You held two in one hand and looked at him.  He smiled and the electricity at the small of your back was everything. He slowly walked around to you as you racked them.

He took in your form (including your ample cleavage) as you bent over the table and your mouth as you said the word, “Break.”

“I’m tired of playing games, Doll. I’m just here to win you back.”

You turned around and faced him, looking up at him, now aware of his smell.  You closed your eyes and inhaled leather and metal. You opened them again and his eyes were blazing.

“James.. I”  

Bucky grabbed your face, hands gently cradling your head, and cut you off with a kiss, his lips gentle at first. Then his hands moved to your hips and lifted you onto the table. He slotted himself in between your thighs, your bodies separated by the same brand of black denim. 

His lips and tongue seemed determined to possess you. Bucky kissed and felt your body like he hadn’t in a lifetime. His hands roamed you like they were starved from touching you. 

Your hands were on his neck and in his hair, relishing the feel of him. You’d  missed him so fucking much. You drew apart, and his breath fanned your face as you two panted together, his forehead resting on yours.

“I am never going to let you go again.”

“James…”

“Hold on Doll, I’ve got to say this.” 

He smiled and gave you another quick peck.  You nodded, solemn.

“I said the wrong thing back in Brooklyn. I don’t care that you were with him first. I don’t care if you think that you might want to be with him. When I fell for you, I fell harder than I ever have. Even from the train.”  

He was whispering the words you wanted to hear months ago, causing you to cry.  But a lot of things caused you to cry lately. 

Bucky smiled at you, his eyes crinkling in that adorable way that you loved. You opened your mouth to speak and he kissed you, silencing you again. You responded with a smile. He continued.

“I know that you think that I folded and just gave up on you on our wedding day. I was just thinking that I don’t deserve you. Especially next to Steve.  I mean, you won’t find a better man.  But in the time since, I’ve realized, even though it’s hard. I’m a good man too.”

“You are, James…”

“You helped me come to terms with everything that’s happened. Sam has helped me deal with everything I did...and I’m not perfect, and neither are you, but we can be perfect for each other.”  

You nodded, smiling a little.

“I’m in love with you and I deserve you. You deserve me. We deserve each other.  And I’m not saying this because I think you saved me. But you are the strongest woman I know, enough to be with me when I am weak. I figured out that I can be strong for you too. I have to be now. I am so sorry that I let you walk away. But I’m not going to let you out of my sight now, even if you don’t want to be with me.  But I am asking you, again. Be my family. Make one with me. Choose me.”

You shook your head as tears fell from your eyes.

“James Barnes, there was never ever any choice. It’s you. It will be you. Forever.”

Bucky let out a sigh of relief and started kissing you all over your face, down your neck and into your cleavage.

“I was scared shitless, Doll! I love you so much,…”

You kissed him now, your hands under his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders. Next, you went under his shirt, feeling his nipples, playing with them as he shuddered. Then your hands went up to one cold shoulder and one warm, grasping them as he ground his hard jeans covered crotch into yours.

“Too many clothes.”

You ended up helping him pull his shirt over his head. You trailed your hand back down his abs to the button on his jeans.

“I missed you James. My hormones are going crazy, Baby…”  

His eyes got wide as you popped the top button and bit your lip.  Bucky moaned.  He was about to explode just being near you.

“Th-that’s what we need to talk about…”

“Talk later. Fuck. Now.”

Bucky looked over your shoulder to the other room. To his surprise, the door was now closed.

“Wow, they…”

You hopped down from the table and got on your knees in front of him.

“You gonna let me suck your dick or not James?”

He looked down at you smirking up at him and could feel himself leaking in his jeans.  Three months of his hand had been torture, thinking of you.  

It seemed as if he unfastened and pulled himself out without knowing.  For a moment he feared mind control. 

But it was just love and lust.

You grasped him, testing his girth and admiring how your fingers did not meet around his cock.  

“Mmmmmmmm,” you moaned while you thumbed his tip, collecting the pre-cum and lubricating him as you pumped.

He stared at you, slack jawed and sexy as he watched you.  He reached down and put his hand in your hair, massaging your scalp.

You commanded him. “Eyes on me, Sergeant.”

Bucky locked eyes with you and watched as you licked your lips, opened your mouth, and spit on his cock.

“Fuck.”

You pumped him a couple of times before you opened wide and took him as deep as you could, relishing the feel of his wide, smooth, hard unit in your mouth.  You pulled off of him with a pop.

“Damn I missed this dick.” 

Then you deep throated him again, making Bucky have to hold on to the side of the pool table as he held your head while you spluttered around him.

“And I missed your pretty little mouth, Doll. Damn.”  He watched as you did it a few more times.

When you looked up and  he saw your ruined face, Bucky went feral.

He pulled you up by your shirt, pulling it over your head and wiping your face with it.  Then he kissed you.

“Fucking love how you do that, Doll.”  

He started kissing down your chest, pulling your breasts out of your bra, pinching and rolling your nipples gently, a little more carefully than usual. He looked at you knowingly as you squirmed in pleasure.

“I’ve been doing my research.”  

Then, he leaned down and suckled them with that mouth until you almost came, writhing in his arms. Bucky unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down, kneeling, and staring up at you as you leaned against the green felt table.

You stepped out of your jeans and panties and watched as his flesh hand glided from your ankle to your ass, palming it and then sliding back down as he lifted your thigh on his shoulder.  You shuddered as you could feel his breath on your cunt.

“I’ve been dreaming of this.”  

His eyes held yours as he leaned in for a kiss, then a long wet lick of your cunt.  You grabbed his brown hair as his blue eyes hypnotized you and as he ate you out. When his metal fingers came up, whirring, you started begging.

“Please, James…please…please…..”

He laughed, mouth still fucking your pussy. He pulled away, chin glistening with your juices. His fingers began pumping inside you, the vibration driving you up the wall.

“Are you begging me to stop, or to continue, Doll? Talk to me.”

“Unnnh, unnnnh, oooohhh shittttt. Don’t ever stop.” 

And then you came all over his face,  Bucky slurping it up happily.  He stood up, taking you with him and maneuvering you so that you could feel his thick tip at your hole before it breached you. 

Bucky’s cock stretched you out and made you see stars as you slid down his thick pole while he was standing up, pumping inside you as he deposited you on the table.

You wrapped around him like a vine as he held you, cock pounding from the feeling of being inside you again. He pulled back to kiss you again.  He was grunting in his throat as he tried to speak.

“Fuck you feel so good...Fair warning, Doll. I’m not going to last. Been too long.”

You let go of him, and leaned back on the felt, arms braced behind you as you replied, “Just fuck me James.”

Bucky took in your body, from where you were connected up your torso to your breasts and the beautiful fucked out look on your face and started moving.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkk.”  You took him, looking down to see the impossible stretch.

“Yeah, look at that. Looks and feels so damn good, doesn’t it, Doll? How the fuck are you so… so… fucking… tight….?”

“Yes, fuck, James, FUCKKKKK.”

All nerves were in your cunt as you went down to your elbows, and then to your back flat on the slate table, pool balls going everywhere.

Bucky pulled your hips off the table and really started digging in, hips snapping at a frenzied pace as his metal hand slid down your body. You could tell that he was almost there.

“Cum with me Doll.” 

When that metal thumb touched your clit, it was over.  You came as soon as you felt his white hot ropes of cum drench your walls. You closed your eyes for just a second, and then opened your eyes wide.

‘Why am I curled up on a pool table after being fucked by my 106 year old fiance? What is life?”

Bucky laughed as he pulled his shirt over his head and helped you off the table. He looked around, going to get you a bottle of water from the vending machine.

“You good?” 

Bucky eyed you as you got your clothes together.  He leaned next to you as he watched you drink the water.

“Baby okay?”

You ducked your head, smiled and grabbed his hand, putting it on your slightly rounded stomach.

“Yeah. I can feel him moving around.  Can you feel that?”  

Bucky just stared at his hand, then at your face.

“Not really… Him?”  He was astounded.

“That’s normal. I’m gonna be able to feel him before you can, And yeah, Him.”  

You turned more fully toward Bucky and he took you in his arms.  

“I had all kinds of tests, to make sure that he was okay.  I wanted to know if… if what they did to me would affect…. “ 

You shook your head, then smiled up at Bucky.

“He’s healthy.  I’m 20 weeks. I figured we’d call him Jamie?”  

Bucky beamed at you and nodded. 

“How did you know?”

“Well, I figured out that you didn’t faint at the wedding just because of Steve. Why didn’t you tell me, Doll?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Are you really asking me that question?”  

Bucky blanched and you decided not to be salty. 

“Well, At first, I didn’t want you to feel trapped. I was so happy that you asked me and didn’t know.”  You beamed at him. “ But then…” Your smile faded.

“I’m an idiot, Doll. Forgive me.  It’s me and you. And Jamie. Forever.”  

You two shared the kiss you missed at the altar. It was going to be okay.

“Now, let’s go get some food. I know you’re hungry.”

You laughed as you punched his arm. 

“Ass. But you’re right.” 

You two walked down the street to Ninfa’s Restaurant hand in hand. Bucky turned his head and gave an imperceptible nod as you two passed by an alley/

Steve returned the greeting as he stepped out and watched you and Bucky make your way down the street.

“That’s okay Sweetheart,” he whispered. “Buck’s a good man. But I know you’ll choose me. In another time.”

He walked to the quinjet, which was pointed toward New York.

-------

Did Reader make the right choice? What do you think about the surprise?And what the what is Steve thinking? Let me know if you liked it by commenting or reblogging!

Tagging:

@olyvoyl @summerofsnowflakes @sillyteecup @riiyy @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @theselilwonders @lonelydance @chattykathysquietsister @anh1020 @nissameta1782 @afriendlyblackhottie @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou @jbrizzywrites @stilltoyou  @donutloverxo @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @kiwisa @food8me @aiikaa @marvelfansworld  @london-grunge @pheebsyells @thesecretlifeofdaydreams-bl-blog @douxtille @ximaginexx @fofisstilinski @bertieandberries @ladystrawberry @bit-of-a-timelord @chesca-791 @calimoi @fangirlfree @bbaengtan @karolsboo @aliceforbes @insertpithyusername @sickknik @photmath @whorekneebrain  @anacrcarvalho @iconicshit @spicybibimbap @fineanddandy @olyvoyl @chaoticsteverogers@txtsfromyourex @sadthotsonlylove @ikatieebabyy@nerdymugsharkempath @maroonsunrise83 @curlyhairclub @spookyparadisesheep @keepingitlokiii​ @weaselbeedisneygeek @toofab4utheatrediva

[howdoyousleep3]

where’s that hc about bucky learning to touch 🤲

I was hoping someone would notice that tag and hit me up. Thank you, sweet pea. This one is special to me, one of many. ❤

Bucky doesn’t say much about what happened to him after the fall and before Steve was miraculously given a second chance at a life with him. Steve is thankful for that. The details he does know come from Bucky’s therapist and from files that have been scrounged up over time, ones Steve can’t stomach through, ones he hands to Natasha and asks only for the information she finds pertinent.

Steve is sure he’d die of a goddamn broken heart if he knew every detail of Bucky’s 70+ years of brainwashed torture.

What he needs to know about Bucky is constant and will never change: this is James Barnes, the one in the same Steve spent his entire life falling in love with, Steve loves him now more than ever, and he is going to live every day he’s gifted with in this life for Bucky.

There are things Steve expects after Bucky joins him and the others back at the Tower, things Bruce has helped him comprehend in such a volatile predicament.

“It could take months, years even, for him to come back to you in full. And honestly, Steve...I would be ready for the possibility of him not returning to you in full. This may not end up being the Bucky you knew and grew up with. He needs therapy, needs patience, needs reminders of his life before, of who he was and is. This won’t be easy, Steve.”

Anything for Bucky.

There are things Bucky took to right away and other things that took much longer for him to enjoy or remember. Steve is with him every step of the way.

Sleep was one thing that Steve thought would be a struggle. After only one month of sleeping on the floor in the corner of his bedroom, Steve able to hear him tossing and turning and breathing heavily through his own bedroom wall, it took one afternoon nap on the couch to make him want to move to his new bed. While nightmares continued, Bucky slept albeit in small increments and sometimes through the day, but he slept.

Steve thought that would take years.

Crowds were another story. Crowds came with trust and Bucky rightfully didn’t trust others easily. He barely trusted Steve at first. It took time to get him out of the apartment, baby steps, one step forward and two steps back. They started with walks at dawn, fewer people, gave a shot at stopping for coffee on the way home a few times.

“It’s a Venti here, Buck,” Steve had tried to explain and Bucky huffed. “Why are things so goddamn complicated now? Just want a coffee, a—”

“I know— a black coffee with too much sugar. I got it.”

They’re working on interactions with others and the anxiety that comes with crowds. That one will take time.

What hadn’t taken time, and what startled everyone in the tower beyond belief, was Bucky and affection.

Steve may not know much of what Bucky has spent most of his life enduring but he at least had the assumption that what Bucky went through shouldn’t make him want any kind of touch from another person. Steve wrongfully assumed that any sort of gentle or soft touch wasn't something Bucky would like.

Bucky had spent the past 70+ years walking this earth as a killer, a robot, a machine, an assassin. He surely spent decades thinking he wasn’t worthy of anything, let alone love. He had been touch-starved, void of the tenderness and closeness Steve knows Bucky deserved and craved underneath the brainwashed parts of him.

It took time for Bucky to remember who Steve was to him. While he had recognized him immediately, remembering him but not how, it took months for Bucky to remembered the capacity in which he did so.

And Steve waited.

And waited.

Steve was gifted with small moments along the way, on this journey of Bucky remembering both himself and who Steve was to him:

“You...you were real small once,” Bucky said, factual with no trace of a question, hands in soapy water as he handed Steve a plate to dry. Steve had merely hummed. “Yeah, was...was maybe half the size I am now. Real small.”

“Could fit both’a my hands right around your middle…”

It had been a long while since Steve blushed like that.

Bucky standing over Steve’s sleeping form, heaving chest visible by only the filtered moonlight, Steve mumbling out a, “Buck, wha—?” before Bucky whispered, “You...you’ve been inside of me.” Steve sat up.

“I have,” Steve breathed, on cautious ground, shakier when Bucky then whispered, “But you like it better when I’m inside’a you.”

When Steve had swallowed audibly, nodded his head wordlessly, Bucky had turned and left the room.

It took months of moments like those to compile together, to form the picture of what Steve once was, what he yearned to continue to be, to Bucky. All of these moments, these memories, came to a head so unpredictably during yet another movie night. Knees knocking, fingers brushing, small touches that Steve absolutely soaked in, had gotten used to, had relearned.

When a glance towards Bucky had the wind knocking its way out of Steve’s chest, the familiarity of that look a bone-deep ache—

Bucky was going to kiss him.

A look full of determination and want, lips parted, eyes a bit glassy. Steve didn't dare move, had let Bucky come to him for fear of scaring him away. The moment their lips touched was the moment Bucky started crying. It had only been a short brush of their lips but Steve barely breathed, barely moved. Bucky had pulled back with wide, wet eyes, shaky breaths. “Buck, it’s okay. It’s okay. Everything’s alright, sweetheart,” are the words that easily slipped from his mouth, unable to stop them in a moment of progress that satiated his entire being.

That was the moment that changed everything. It was a startle to everyone involved. Steve had been ready to wait years, this entire life, for the moment he could touch Bucky again, could show him that physicality he knew his Buck craved. After that night on the couch it was as if the floodgates had opened—

Bucky remembered and wanted.

Regardless of where they were or what was happening, he wanted to be touching Steve: soft kisses on the cheek and lips, laying his head in Steve’s lap as he read, lacing his fingers between Steve’s during meetings, an arm wrapped around Steve’s waist between bouts of sparring. He’d trace patterns onto Steve’s thigh as he watched Steve draw, press against the line of his back while he cooked dinner.

Steve was floating on a cloud, was in heaven, never happier. It was perfection.

But what Bucky wanted, Steve couldn’t provide, couldn’t meet. Steve was only one man, couldn’t provide Bucky, whom touch had been stolen away from for decades, with everything he wanted. And that was okay, something Steve accepted, because there were other people Bucky could turn to that Steve trusted.

“I’m sure you all know why I asked you to meet with me,” Steve started, choosing a time Bucky was napping to meet with the rest of the group that either lived in or frequented the Tower. “Bucky has shown us a new side of him, has made some progress I think it’s worth discussing with everyone, since we’re all...we’ve all been affected...”

“Uhh, yeah— your Barnes-y boy has been all over me lately. I’m almost offended that everyone else is here to talk to Cap though. Thought he was just comin' onto me.”

“I have to tell you, I didn’t...I know we talked, Steve. But I’m honestly shocked at Bucky’s progress. It’s baffling.”

“I haven’t minded it. He lets me braid his hair.”

“Wait— y’all are getting touches?”

It was a group effort, supporting Bucky in this way. It was an adjustment, Bucky never prompting and questioning before touching or requesting touches— he just went for it. He was quiet still, not shy, merely observant. And just like he nudged at and leaned against Steve until his hands were on him, he did the same to others.

“I just ask that you show Bucky grace during this time. It’s a delicate situation. I need to know if you don’t want his touch or don’t wish to give him any kind of touch. I think it would be best if it came from me instead of from you in the moment.”

Natasha was who Bucky went to for scratches. Steve thinks it’s the nails. Steve also thinks Nat is Bucky’s favorite to go to for touches, even over him, but Bucky refuses to admit it.

When Bucky wants mindless touches, when he wants tickles and scratches, he goes to her. She naturally took to Bucky’s need for touches, the first occurrence one that came without hesitation. She’ll braid his hair, let him turn his head right where he wants her head scratches, naturally reaches for his back or shoulders to run her nails across when he saddles in close to her.

Thor is one of Bucky’s favorites too. Steve isn’t sure if it’s because of his strength or because of his warm and accepting demeanor but Bucky gravitates towards Thor often, mainly for neck and shoulder rubs. One, “James, my friend. You musn’t be afraid of asking for touch with me. I will always be willing to assist,” and that was all Bucky needed to feel comfortable walking over to Thor and nudging at his hands.

He puts his head on Bruce’s shoulder as soon as he can, likes sparring and playing hide and seek with Clint, enjoys putting his feet in Sam’s lap. Tony took some warming up to, but even then Bucky spent many hours in Tony’s lab, Tony guiding his hands, showing him what to do and how to work different machines, the two of them tinkering on his own arm.

Bucky kinda turns into the Tower kitty cat, wandering around quietly, napping in the sun, snacking, demanding affection from anyone he crosses paths with and trusts.

Everyone had their form of touch they shared with Bucky and Bucky absolutely blossomed under this form of support. Steve is forever grateful to be surrounded by a group of understanding individuals.

And every night when he lifts the comforter and feels the solid line of Bucky’s warm form against his side, the arm that now easily and inevitably slips around his waist, the familiar lips that always press against his temple, shoulder, and cheek, Steve is reminded this day was for Bucky and that the one they’ll wake up to will also be for him.

"I love you, Buck."

"Mhmm love you too, pal."

Steve doesn't even mind that Bucky spends his nights snoring in the crook of his neck, hot breath wafting over Steve's skin, hands grabby even as he dreams—

This is heaven.

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter One

Chapter One: The Other Wilson Sister - chapter two

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n grew up with Sam and Sarah Wilson in the bayou of Delacroix. During the Blip she stayed with Sarah to help run the family business. With Sam back and trying to save the day, Y/n’s perfect opportunity to confess her long-kept secret to her best friend presents itself.

Warnings: tfatws ep.1 spoilers, language, suicide mention, undertones of racism, lots of Wilson sibling arguments, tragic backstory

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: As I wrote this first chapter out I realized it’s most definitely also a Sam Wilson x platonic fic. Bucky doesn’t come in till next chapter but rest assured, it’s gonna be a wild ride...Also I didn’t know till now how difficult it is to plan out a series in its entirety when the show isn’t completed lol. Hope you enjoy! (I may or may not change the title depending on how I feel about it later today lol)

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Delacroix, LA 2024

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One of the only things I was certain of in life was that blood didn’t make a family.

I had no official tie to Wilson family, I wasn’t a daughter or some distant cousin sent to live with them. We shared no DNA and they had no reason to love me as much as they did. But throughout my life I had known no kinder people than them and I doubted that would change. As I stood on the family boat helping to unload the catch of the day, I thought of how our corner of the Louisiana bayou felt more like home than any place I’d ever been.

“Hey,” Sarah said from the dock, “Head out of the clouds and down here helping me.” “Sorry,” I shook myself out of my thoughts and hopped off the boat, “Not a bad catch if you ask me.”

Sarah sighed as she bent over a large bucket of fish, “It could’ve been better.” I came to stand in front of her and held my hands out for a bucket, “Take the wins where you can get ‘em, Sar. Lord knows we don’t get enough of them.” Sarah Wilson was the only superhero I’d ever aspire to be like. She was a widow who had raised two kids and run a business all by herself with no family for support. The past five years had been challenging with so many people gone and while I had moved in with her to help however I could, I could take no credit. She was one of the strongest women I’d ever known.

“You had that look on your face again,” she said as we worked.

“What look?”

“That look that lets me know you were thinking real hard about something,” Sarah imitated the expression in question by thinning her eyes slightly and furrowing her brows, “Like this.” I laughed heartily at her impression, “So what was it?” I gazed out at the bayou waters before turning to the boat and finally Sarah, “Family.”

She nudged me with her hip, something we’d done when we were young and an affectionate gesture we’d carried into adulthood. A half hour went by with us and the boys unloading and sorting the fish we’d caught. I was too wrapped up in the task to notice the sound of a vehicle approaching until AJ and Cass announced the arrival. 

“Blue for the snapper, orange for the whitefish.”

“Uncle Sam!”

My head shot up upon hearing his name, as did Sarah’s. I used my hand as a visor against to sun to spot the familiar rusted truck parked a few hundred feet away, with my best friend standing outside it hugging his nephews.

“That’s right, Uncle Sam,” Sarah called, “You’re back early.”

I grinned as I shucked my gloves off and made a beeline for him, slamming my body into his for a tight embrace. It had been a few weeks since I’d seen him, having spent the only weekend he was off away, and I’d naturally been worried sick about him. My best friend and un-biological brother may have been an Avenger for years, but after losing him in the Blip I didn’t think I’d ever stop worrying about him.

“Every time I come home, you act like I’ve been gone for five years,” he joked over my shoulder, resulting in me pulling away and slapping his bicep.

“Not even a little funny,” I pointed a finger in his smug face, he slung an arm around my neck as we walked over to Sarah.

“What’s goin’ on? You got Mom’s sneaky look on your face.” “How you gonna try to read me when you know I’m the one that reads you?” Sam smiled, passing by and greeting a long time customer of ours. “That look is permanently glued to his face, Sar,” I chuckled, “I learned that in grade school.” Sam shook his head at me and laughed before making his way up the dock to the Wilson family boat. “You gotta marvel at it, baby’s being held together by duct tape and prayers.” I leaned into Sarah, “Are you telling him or am I?” She took the initiative, “It just needs to float long enough for me to sell it.” “I thought we were gonna discuss if we were selling it,” Sam replied as he helped unload another bucket of fish. “We did, and then you were off fighting Doctor Space Cape or whatever while we,” Sarah gestured between us, “Were holdin’ it together for five long years. Now that the world is going back to normal, this thing’s gotta go.”

Sam looked to me with a look of displeasure, “Were you in on this?” “Don’t drag me into this,” I waved my hands as if wiping my involvement away, “This is a Wilson sibling discussion.” “Uh-uh,” Sam called me out, wagging his finger, “Don’t do that. Dad said every chance he got that you were one of his own, you’ve got a say in this too. What is it?” I scrunched my face up, dreading the argument that was knocking on our door, “It’s dead weight, Sam. The money we could get for it would be enough to keep us comfortable for a little longer without having to worry.” “We grew up on this thing. It’s not just Mom and Dad’s name on it. This thing is a part of our family.”

I sighed as Sarah stepped forward, “You know the situation we’re in. This is why I prefer not to dwell on it in front of everybody.” “Well what if we don’t need to sell it?” Sam said. “Can we talk about this in private?” I suggested, tiring of having to convince Sam that we were in the right when he hadn’t been around to witness our struggles. A long time friend of ours called out to Sam and he willingly took the distraction, opting out of having the inevitable difficult conversation. Sarah and I trudged back, totes of fish in hand and tried to get through the rest of the work day without worrying if we were approaching our last.

————

During golden hour, when the clock had struck five and we’d started packing it up for the day was the only time to get Sam to actually listen. I knew how much the boat meant to him, it meant something to us all, but he wasn’t living in the reality that Sarah and I were.

“Sam, the boat’s gotta go,” Sarah finally said, breaking the silence we were working in on the vessel. “Wait-“ “No, let me finish,” she said, “Y/n and I are doin’ everything I can to keep this business afloat and every day we’re making $5 and spending $10.” Sam looked between the two of us, “So why won’t you let me help?” 

“Sam, don’t…” I winced, knowing Sarah’s reaction would be strong.

“No, don’t start with that. We made a deal before Daddy died,” Sarah carried a few buckets to the center of the deck, “You’re out there, I do things my way here. Y/n agreed to it too when she went off to school.” “Right, but you tangled the house into this when you took those loans,” Sam finished tying off one of the ropes, turning around and giving Sarah the perfect opportunity to punch his chest, “Forgot how hard you hit.” I sighed as I passed him by to follow Sarah, “Low blow, you deserved it.” 

“Sarah, Y/n, c’mon,” he chased after us, “Look, and don’t hit me again…What if you had money to fix it up? Make it nice so you can charter it when you’re not out working the waters?” “Sam, do you think this was an easy decision for us?” I faced him, leaning against the doorway next to him, “I tried every tactic I learned in business school and got nowhere. Anything I thought up, we needed more money to do. This is our only option.” As he always did with the things he cared about, he fought. “We can take a loan and consolidate everything, it’ll take down your monthly,” he looked confused as he watched Sarah laugh, “What?” “You think I didn’t try the banks? They’re in with all that big business now.” I followed them like the little sister I’d always been as they moved their fight towards the cockpit of the boat. Sam blocked another doorway, “Yeah, but now you have me.”

“Don’t, Sam,” Sarah shook her head, “I just got good with this.”

“All right…”

“Maybe it is time for us to move on,” Sarah sighed. “Either way, just let me help,” Sam offered, “I’ll set the appointment. Look, I won’t let you guys down. We can turn this shit around. Trust me.” I peered over at Sarah, wishing I could see the calculations going on in her brain. It seemed pointless, but any shot at changing our luck was an avenue worth pursuing.

“It can’t hurt to try,” I shrugged.

Sarah finally relented, “To the rescue, huh?”

“Always,” Sam smiled, “Now, let’s get some dinner. I’m hungry.” ————

Sarah was taking AJ and Cass back home while Sam and I took his truck to go pick up food.

“So how was Tunisia?” I asked, sticking my hand out the window and letting it rise and fall with the wind.

“Hot, but the mission went well,” he answered, looking out of the corner of his eyes at me, “And that’s all you need to know.”

I snickered, “C’mon, it’s our thing. I ask you detailed questions about your confidential missions, you tell me you can’t reveal anything, I keep asking…You’ve gotta honor tradition.” “I flew, I fought, I rescued. Boom, mission explained.” “Ugh, you’re impossible, Wilson,” I waved him off, “How was the museum dedication?” The atmosphere changed as the subject of conversation changed from easy to complicated. “It was nice to see Steve’s accomplishments celebrated. Got to see Rhodes which was nice…” “You’re avoiding a red white and blue topic,” I said, trying to coax his true feelings out of their shells, “Seriously, are you really okay with this? Giving up the shield?” Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t think it was ever meant to end up in my hands. I did the right thing, it belongs with Steve and the museum is the closest to Steve I can get.” I respected my friend’s choice but I knew there was so much more to his decision and I wished he would just say it. He had an enormous amount of respect for Steve Rogers and what the shield represented, but Steve Rogers never had to face the issues that Sam Wilson did. Steve Rogers could follow a government and be respected in return with no problems whatsoever. Sam Wilson couldn’t, not always. There was an elephant in the room and if neither of us wanted to talk about it, I wouldn’t push it.

“You’d have looked good in that uniform though,” I smiled as we turned into the take out place’s parking lot.

“Damn right,” Sam waggled his eyebrows and unbuckled his seatbelt. Laughter rang out in the truck sending me on waves of nostalgia. The memories that me and him had in this truck still were infamous between us. As proud as I was of the Falcon’s heroics, I was prouder to call Sam Wilson my best friend.

————

Just as he’d promised, Sam made the appointment with the banker. He and Sarah were already on their way as I made the hour long drive in the opposite direction to New Orleans. I’d told them I’d be back in the evening to discuss how it went, but I had my own appointment to keep.

Sam and I had met back when we were just a couple of first graders. I’d always struggled with making friends as a kid, but Sam never had an issue when it came to connecting with others. It was one of his strongest qualities. And so he used his gift on his desk neighbor, the loneliest kid in class, and pulled her out of herself. We were inseparable until college and adulthood forced us apart, but we’d never lost our bond. Even when he was a pararescue, he wrote to me as often as his work allowed him.

All the Wilsons had taken a liking to me after Sam brought me home one day after school to watch cartoons. Darlene had told me I was welcome to come over any time I wanted, an offer Sam and I accepted till I became a permanent fixture in their house. Paul and his wife had frequently tried to get the rest of my family over for a crawfish boil or a barbecue. They’d send me every few weeks with a verbal invitation to my parents and the next day I’d always come back with a polite decline and excuse as to why we couldn’t make it. Mom was busy with spring cleaning, Melanie had a recital, Dad was feeling under the weather…

The only one that had ever been true was about my dad not feeling well. He was never well. But as a child, how do you explain that your father is a ghost around his own home who drinks himself to sleep and wakes up each night screaming from nightmares? There was no polite way to phrase circumstances that dark. Sometimes I felt like my dad had never returned from the military and though there hadn’t been a war at the time of his service, he still came back with his share of trauma. Mom did everything she could to try and help him. She found support groups for veterans, she took him to the best psychiatrists, she created a safe space for him within our home to retreat to. There was no amount of help that could kill my father’s demons and that was proven the night he’d said we were out of milk and he was going to the store. A few hours later, with my sister and I fast asleep upstairs, my worried mother answered the door and was informed by the police that my father had crashed his car and was dead. After speaking to Mom about what his mood had been like before he’d left and if he suffered from any mental illnesses, it was ruled as an undoubtable suicide.

My mother didn’t get much time to mourn after the funeral, she had two children to provide for. She took three jobs just to earn enough to move us from our house in New Orleans to a dingy apartment in Delacroix by the bayou. When the Wilsons heard that Mom needed to scrape enough money in the budget to hire a baby-sitter for me and Melanie, they put a stop to her efforts immediately. The insisted that Mel and I would be happier spending the time my mom was working with them and their kids rather than a stranger. That was how the Wilsons and the Y/l/ns had ended up so tightly knit. While Sarah and Melanie had bonded as the older sisters and were often off doing their own thing, Sam and I caused havoc of our own in classic younger sibling fashion. By the time we were in high school, both parents called the other’s children their own.

When Paul and Darlene passed away, it was incredibly hard on all of us and it was equal when Mom had a fall and the doctors suggested she move into a facility. Sam, Sarah and I had worked hard to get her into one of the best nursing homes in the city and she hadn’t stopped raving about how much she loved it. Pulling into the parking lot was like muscle memory now, I never missed a weekend visit with her. This one was special because Melanie, her husband and brood of children had come too. I grabbed my visitor’s sticker at the front desk and made my way down the familiar hallways. The sound of laughter and cooing echoed out of my mom’s room, bringing a smile to my face.

I knocked on the door and heads turned, my nieces and nephews being the quickest. “Aunt Y/n!” I embraced Sophia and Max tightly, “The twin tornados! I missed you guys,” separating from them was difficult as they clung to me but I made it to Stephan, giving him a kiss on the cheek and doing the same to Mel, “You look hot, mama.” “I certainly don’t feel it,” she remarked as she cradled their newest addition, baby Alexandra, close to her chest, “I spend more hours of the day covered in glitter glue and spit up than you could imagine.” “You wear it all well,” I patted her shoulder before coming to my mother’s bedside and hugging her, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” she kissed both of my cheeks and looked to the door, “Sarah and Sam couldn’t come?” “No, but they send their love. They had an appointment at the bank,” I set down my purse and pulled up a chair, “We’re trying to get approved for a small business loan.”

Glen took Alexandra from Mel so she could tend to the twins, “I wish we could help out, Y/n. I’ve looked at the budget over and-“ It warmed my heart that my brother-in-law cared so much about a problem that wasn’t his to bear. “Glen,” I held up a hand, “You guys are stretched thin enough. This isn’t me asking for charity, it’s our problem and Sam’s confidant we’ll find a fix.” “How does he have enough time to be a member of the Air Force, an Avenger and save the family business?” Mel asked.

“Well, the Avengers are kind of off doing their own thing right now from what I understand and he’s home for a little while from the Air Force,” I explained, “So his main job at the moment is to get us our funding and annoy the snot out of me while doing it.” After earning some giggles from Sophia and Max at the expression, Glen announced that they were going to go and grab lunch for everybody. My mom took my hand once it was just the two of us and I settled into my seat, “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hanging in there,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, “Tired, stressed, I smell like fish most of the time…We need this loan or else we’re going to have to sell the boat. You should’ve seen Sam’s face when Sarah told him…”

“I’m sorry, I know how much that boat means to you kids. I could’ve offered you the moon and stars and it still wouldn’t have been enough to get you off it.” I smiled at the memories of summer nights spent laying on the deck stargazing, dance parties on the stern and early mornings spent with Mr. Wilson teaching us how to fish. A childhood with so much sadness had also contained so many joys. To part with a tangible one killed me more than I’d let on to Sam.

Sensing that the topic was making me emotional, my mother was kind enough to change it. “How are things otherwise? Have you been getting out there?” I dropped my head back dramatically and groaned, “Mom…” “I’m just saying,” she dropped my hand and held up hers in surrender, “You should get out there, meet someone. There’s no shame in trying those online dating services. What’s the one…the…Tinder?” “Oh my gosh, Mom,” I buried my face in my hands and moved my fingers so she could only see my eyes, “Please stop talking.” “You know who I ran into the other day? Jack’s mom, from high school. She lives just down the next hallway, she says that he’s still single. You could get in touch with him.” “Y’know, for a woman who advocated for her daughters to lead such independent lives, you’re sure quick to try and marry us off,” I chuckled, “The second Mel started dating Glen you were practically booking the church.” “And I’m very proud of both my girls for being such strong young women,” she smiled proudly, “But finding love doesn’t mean losing your independence so long as you’re with the right man. I love that you’ve been helping out Sarah these last few years but honey…I see how lonely you are. In those big y/e/c eyes you think I still can’t read after all these years.” The y/e/c eyes in question started to fill with sadness at hearing my pain verbalized. It was true, I was lonely. More so than I would ever let on to anybody. I was a shy enough kid who only withdrew further after Dad passed away, that kind of introversion wasn’t one that you outgrew. But I’d given up the idea of finding someone to spend my life with a long time ago for a bevy of reasons.

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone, Mama,” I nodded as if to force myself to agree with my statement, “No chances of getting hurt…or hurting somebody.” “You couldn’t hurt somebody even if you tried,” my mom argued sweetly, “You couldn’t even kill spiders when you were a kid.” “And now there’s a Spiderman out there so I’m glad I didn’t,” I shot back with a laugh.

“I’m serious, honey,” she took my hand once again, “Don’t let your heart’s wounds keep you from finding someone who could help soothe them.” 

I was convinced my mother was both a poet and a therapist at some point in her life, she gave advice in the most beautifully phrased way. And while I’d loved to have taken her words to heart, tell Mel to fix me up with one of Glen’s friends and put an end to my loneliness, I feared that I was just too broken to give love to someone.

————

I arrived back home late, shedding my boots and bag at the doors. I’d expected to hear a triumphant chorus of Sam shouting ‘WHO DA MAN?’ as he typically would when heroically proving me and Sarah wrong, but there was only silence. When I walked into the kitchen and saw their glum faces, it wasn’t hard to guess the outcome of the meeting. “You’re kidding me…” “Said that things had tightened up,” Sam said, leaning against one side of the island and taking a swig of his beer, “Had the balls to ask me for a picture afterwards.” I groaned and grabbed the beer bottle Sarah had extended to me, “Okay, we’re out of options. It’s time to move forward-“ “Don’t say it…” Sam tiredly warned.

“Someone has to, Sam. We can’t keep searching for solutions when the right one is sitting out on our dock,” I gestured to the window that looked out on the road we took each day to work.

Sarah set her beer down and held her hands up in surrender, “I’m not having this argument again tonight, I’m going to bed. If you’re gonna kill each other, do it quietly.” She left as me and Sam silently stared each other down, waiting for the other to speak. I was too frustrated to play the game, “What’s this really about?” “It’s about the damn boat and that you and Sarah are throwing in the towel too-“ “What,” I elongated the single syllable word, “Is this really about?” Sam set his drink down and rubbed his hands over his head before looking back up at me helplessly, “You guys were on your own for five years and you’ve done an amazing job. But now nothing’s working and I just…I just want to help because I couldn’t for so long.” It all clicked as to why Sam was being so insistent on trying to eliminate the whole matter. He was used to saving the day and finally meeting one that he couldn’t save was a wall he thought he could still find a way to run through. He’d been like that ever since we were kids, always trying to help the people he loved even when it was impossible. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever met.

“I love you,” I set down my bottle and crossed the island to come next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, “But this may be one problem that the Falcon can’t swoop in and fix. The Avengers work hard, but a business graduate helping to run a struggling seafood business works harder,” I succeeded in getting him to crack a smile, “Believe me, I’ve run all the numbers and consulted with anyone who would listen. The boat’s gotta go.”

“Yeah, well, humor me and give me a little while longer.”

“Fine, a couple more days,” I grabbed my beer once again and clinked it against his, “But it’s not my fault if Sarah smacks you again.” Sam laughed, slung an arm around my neck and kissed my temple. “You coming up soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a few minutes,” I answered, watching as he finished his drink before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. Once I’d heard his bedroom door open and close, I exited out to the back porch. I took in the late night sounds of the bayou, the crickets chirping and the wind rustling trees had always soothed me. I wished they could touch what I was feeling right now, but the noise didn’t do a thing to drown out my worry. For the business I feared we may lose, for Sam as he ran himself ragged trying to help and for myself and what him and Sarah would think of me once I confessed the secret I’d kept from them for so long.

I held out my hand and watched as the blue energy flowed from my fingertips. Would Sam ever forgive me for not telling him I had powers? They had manifested when I was young, my parents said. I couldn’t remember a day where my body hadn’t produced a magical energy that when harnessed incorrectly could be destructive. It had been a sad day for my mother’s garden when I’d discovered that bit…According to her, she’d wanted to take me to a school for people like me run by a man named Charles Xavier but my father had said no immediately. He’d been so insistent on keeping my powers a secret that my mother said she’d only seen that type of fear in his eyes when he had a war flashback. So I was instructed to never show my powers to anyone under any circumstances and I’d done just that. I’d thought about revealing them in 2012 after the Battle of New York, but my dad’s fear rang in my ears. Three years later when Sam became an Avenger was when I began to feel guilty that I was keeping a secret from him. I’d wanted to join him and find somewhere where I didn’t feel so out of place, but I’d decided against it again. Now with their team so broken and Sam off with the Air Force, I’d finally gathered the courage to confide in him and Sarah. I should have done it six months ago, but I’d chickened out too many times. Tomorrow, I decided. Tomorrow was the day. But would they still see me the same way once I showed them? ————

The next morning, after dressing and running over what I wanted to say three times, I hesitantly headed downstairs to face the music. With there being nobody in the kitchen, I followed the sounds of the television to find Sarah and Sam staring at the screen intently. I stood to the side of the room and watched a suited man give a speech out front of a government building. “We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.”

My jaw slackened as a man marched out in front of the gathered press, dressed in a variation of Steve Rogers’ patriotic uniform and carrying the iconic shield. The shield that had only weeks ago sat upstairs in Sam’s bedroom in a case. I dragged my gaze away from the screen to look at my best friend, hunched over in his seat with his eyes shut in sorrow. Sarah looked just as distraught, her eyes trained on her brother as well. We waited in silence until the breaking news broadcast switch back to regularly scheduled programming before Sarah switched the box off.

“I thought you said it was going to stay in the museum,” I finally spoke, my voice choked with emotion.

“It was supposed to,” Sam ground out, his grip on his own hands tightening. Without any warning, he rose from his seat and left the room. My instinct was to follow him and try to comfort him, but there was nothing I could say to ease the deep pain he was feeling. I wasn’t even sure I could form words that weren’t doused in raw shock. The two things I was sure of were that a) the government had fucked up royally and b) now was definitely not the time to tell Sam about my powers.

————

It was a few days later and Sam still hadn’t spoken much to Sarah and I about the situation. It was unnatural for Sam to suffer in silence especially around us, but we both gave him the space he needed. 

I was taking laundry to AJ and Cass’ room and had to pass by Sam’s, surprised to see him packing a bag. “Thought you were sticking around.” “Something big came up,” he replied as he set a stack of t-shirts in his duffle bag, “I need to go check it out.” I leaned against his doorway, “Air Force big or Avengers big?” “The second one.” “And you’re going by yourself?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

Sam looked over his shoulder at me finally, “Don’t have anybody to else to call. Besides, I can handle myself.” I hummed in response before setting down the stack of laundry, an idea forming in my head that could solve both of our problems. I folded my hands together and dug my feet into the carpet, “What if you didn’t have to go by yourself?” He looked confused, “What are you talking about?” My folded hands began to make circles in the air as I struggled for the right words, “What if I came with you?” “What, like take your family to work day something?” Sam scoffed, “That’d be fun.” “I’m serious.” “Are you crazy? Of course you can’t come.” “Hear me out,” I looked to his bag and the pair of jeans he had next to fold, “Actually watch.” He folded his arms and waited for my demonstration. I took a deep breath and extended my hand, forcing my energy outwards to levitate the jeans. “Whoa!” Sam exclaimed as he watched me maneuver the clothing inside his duffle, “W-w-what…What was that?” I shrugged and pulled my hand back to my side, “The reason why you should take me.”

“How long have you been able to do that?” “Since I was a kid,” I moved out of the doorway and closed the door, the last thing I needed was AJ and Cass knowing their aunt could move things with her mind, “My parents told me never to tell anybody. I’ve thought about telling you for years since you’re used to this kind of thing but I was scared…Then you were gone and when you came back, life was moving non-stop and I lost my courage. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Sam stood with his jaw hung for a few seconds before shaking his head back into reality, “Why are you apologizing? You never had to tell me, but I’m glad you did,” he pointed a finger towards me, “But you’re still not going.” “What are you talking about? I’d be an asset to whatever it is you’re fighting! And I love you but c’mon bird boy, you may be able to fly but I can do it without any tech.” “Oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” Sam gestured between the two of us, “You think insulting me is the way to get me to let you come?” “Come on,” I moved to sit on his bed, “Tell me what the problem is and I’ll prove that I can help.” “Alright, alright,” Sam took a stance in front of me, “You wanted to hear the tea on my missions, I’ll spill it. There’s an online group called the Flag Smashers, their MO is to get the world back to the way it was during the last five years. My military contact, Torres, went undercover in Switzerland when they robbed a bank. Knocked him unconscious when he tried to fight back.” I balanced my elbows on my knees and tapped a finger against my lip, “So kind of a Robin Hood deal, right? Stealing things from the rich and giving it to the poor. In this case, the poor being those who never disappeared.” “Exactly, except the guy that knocked Torres out was strong. Too strong. I’m thinking they could be a part of-“ “The big three.” Sam’s neck snapped back, “How do you know about the big three?” I shrugged nonchalantly, “The little you do tell me about your avenging always ties back to either androids, aliens or wizards. Though I think you’re being a little dramatic with the term ‘wizard.’”

“Are you seriously gonna correct the guy who’s actually there doing the fighting?” “Are you seriously gonna deny yourself valuable help against either an alien or an android?”

Sam sighed, I was successfully backing him into a corner. “Can you even fight?”

Extending one hand, I levitated Sam and gently slammed his back into the ceiling before reversing course and lowering him onto the carpet. He moaned as he rolled over to face me, “Could’ve given me a concussion.” “Maybe that would knock some sense into your head,” I stood and gave him my hand to pull him up, “Sam, I know that I don’t have any experience but I am more than capable of defending myself. I want to actually do something with these powers instead of sitting on my ass. I’d rather do it with you than on my own. Please?” I watched the cogs in his mind turn through his eyes, I knew he was only fighting this hard because he wanted to keep me safe. But he was in way over his head if he thought it wasn’t worth taking me with. He accepted my hand and stood to his full height, “Pack a bag, we’re leaving for the air base in an hour.” I smiled and threw my arms around him, “Thank you, you won’t regret this.” “I’d better not,” he warned, his arms stayed straightened in displeasure of my enthusiasm, “If you take some stupid risk and put yourself in jeopardy, I’m putting your ass on a plane home.” Quick footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway until the door opened to reveal Sarah, “What was all that noise? It sounded like you were throwing each other into walls.” “Busy,” I quickly dismissed her, using my energy to shut the door in Sarah’s face from a distance.

“Um,” her muffled voice rang through, “What the hell was that?!”

--------

Taglist: (open)

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 8 - Rookie Mistake [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Every agent makes mistakes.

Series Masterlist

You had no idea what you’d done for karma to hunt you down like this, but it was very clear that at some part in your life, you had messed up.

Maybe it was because you never bought recyclable giftwraps for Christmas even if everyone told you to.

Maybe it was because you still used too much sugar in your coffee.

Maybe it was because of all the targets you had killed.

A mystery, that one.

You groaned, pressing your forehead on the window of the car as you massaged your temples.

“Do I have a tracker on me or something?” you whined, “Is that it? What are the chances I run into my fake boyfriend twice while on a mission? It’s a huge city, it’s not supposed to be possible!”

“I don’t know about you but I’m shaking,” Keith reached out to wave his hand in front of your eyes while Chloe checked you both in the rear mirror, “I’m— my hands are all sweaty look—“

“Don’t touch me with your sweaty hands!” you batted his hands away when he tried to touch your face, “How did this happen? How is this possible? Chloe? Chloe answer me, how is this fucking possible?”

“Okay, let’s all take a breath and focus on the bright side of the situation,” she managed to say, keeping her eyes on the road, “Your cover wasn’t blown, he still has no idea you’re…well, you. And everyone is alive, yay!”

“I was on the same rooftop as the world’s most dangerous assassin,” Keith let out a breath, “He was right there when I got there, he was just…. That guy could kill us all!”

“Shrike, just give the order and we will—“

“Everyone stay where you are,” you touched your earpiece, “It’s under control.”

“Let me guess,” Bucky said as he took a step towards you, “Another member of HYDRA and you got here before me.”

“Are you following me or something?” you asked and he scoffed.

“Maybe you’re not the only person going after HYDRA.”

“Maybe I should be,” you said, “Don’t get me wrong, I kind of dig the whole vigilante vibe but my superiors have more…planned strategies for things like these.”

“And who do you work for, exactly?”

You let out a small laugh, “Every girl has her secrets,” you stated, “Why are you here?”

“Why are you?”

“Because I’m getting paid for it,” you said, “You’re not. Surely a handsome guy like you could fill his nighttime with different activities rather than doing….this.”

Even in the dark, you could tell that he shifted his weight uncomfortably.

“Aw, not a huge fan of flirting?”

“Not with you.”

You couldn’t help but scoff a laugh at the irony, “Why, you got a girl at home?”

The door slammed open and one of the agents –Keith, you assumed— stepped out, his rifle pointed at Bucky while he heaved a sigh, shaking his head slightly.

“Your friend has a scarf wrapped over his face to keep his identity hidden and you call me a vigilante?”

Keith almost looked like Daredevil with Chloe’s red scarf covering half of his face.

“Mystery is kind of our deal.” you said and motioned at Keith, “Put the gun down, he’s not going to hurt me. In fact, he’s going to let me walk away.”

Bucky tilted his head, “You think so?”

“I know so. I’d hate to mess up that beautiful face during combat.”

“You sound very sure of yourself.”

“I am.” you shrugged your shoulders and walked past him.

“Who are you?” he asked and you turned around to look at him.

“Come on, you know better than that.” You said and saluted him in a mocking manner before walking to the door, “Until next time, soldier.”

“I’m serious, feel my hands—“ you were pulled out of your thoughts when Keith reached out for you and you made a face, slapping his hand away once again.

“He told me he would stay at home tonight!” you exclaimed. “I can’t believe this, how dare—“

“It’s not like he said he was going to bed and ended up going to a club behind your back,” Chloe said, “Just saying, that happens a lot in some relationships.”

“Chloe, it’s not a real relationship!” you reminded her “What, my options were him having a one night stand and him going after the same target I was going to kill? By all means, he can go and get laid then!”

“But that would count as cheating!” Chloe said, “Besides, you know what they say. Targets over...ladies.”

“No one in the whole human history has ever said that honey.” Keith said helpfully and you looked out the window.

“Wait, where are we going?”

“The base.” Chloe said as if she was apologizing, “Dad wants to see you.”

You threw your head back and slipped a little on the leather seat.

“Great,” you muttered, “Tonight is getting better and better.”

                                    ***

Thankfully, General decided to let you go home after an hour of briefing. He had asked you whether you would like to be pulled out of other missions and instead just focus on Bucky but ignoring Keith’s glances, you had said no.

You had to prove yourself if you wanted to be a handler.

Thankfully it was Saturday so you could sleep until late and when you woke up, instead of going over the plans and rushing to the milkshake shop and coming up with strategy after strategy.

For some reason, you felt almost excited for your second date with Bucky. Maybe Chloe had a point, maybe you had to be extra careful not to lose yourself in your own cover. Just because you hadn’t had that problem before didn’t mean you could take it for granted.

You weren’t used to this kind of a mission. Not this long anyway, tricking a target was fine, it was expected but actually forming a relationship with them was much more complicated than a couple of lies here and there.

You clicked your tongue and tilted your head, looking in the mirror. You already knew Bucky would show up on his motorcycle, so you ditched the dresses and instead picked jeans and a nice blouse. When Chloe had first recreated your whole wardrobe for this mission, you whined for days but now you were slowly getting used to it.

Even though you were pretty sure you would never get used to the uniform.

Your phone started vibrating on the nightstand and you checked the caller I.D. before answering it.

“Hi!” you said, “Are you here?”

“Yes ma’am,” You could almost hear Bucky’s grin, “You ready?”

“Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right there,” you said and hung up, then took a last look at your gun and put it beneath your pillow. Pushing your hair behind your ear, you locked the door behind you and made your way downstairs.

“Oh my goodness you were serious!” you said when you saw him leaning against a motorcycle and he looked you up and down, his face lighting up with a smile.

“Hi beautiful.”  

Your stomach did a pleasant flip and you didn’t even have to fake mirroring his smile, “Hi,” you murmured and pointed at the motorcycle, “You were serious about that.”

“I was, but—“ he turned around to grab something from the top case on the motorcycle, then turned to you, holding a bouquet of flowers. You gasped and reached out to take them from him.

“As promised,” he joked as you buried your nose into the bouquet.

“Thank you,” you said, looking up at him before heaving a dramatic sigh. “Well, we had a deal. I’ll have to get on this deathtrap huh?”

“Oh if you’re the type to break deals, you don’t have to,” he taunted and you scrunched up your nose. “But where we’re going is a little away from here, just so you know.”

“Where are we going?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to explore the city?”

You nodded and stole a look at the motorcycle standing behind him, making him chuckle.

“You laugh now but if you drop me on the way—“

“I’m not going to drop you on the way.”

“Or if I die, I’m haunting you.” You pointed at him, “For the rest of your life.”

He nodded in a very solemn manner, “Deal.”

You placed the bouquet into the top case carefully and turned to him so that he could put the helmet over your head. The fond light in his eyes was impossible to miss as he fixed it and lifted the shield.

“Comfortable?” he asked, his hands still cradling the helmet and you grinned.

“Mm hm.” You said and got on the motorcycle after him, then wrapped your arms around his torso. The scent of his cologne mixed with the faint aftershave filled your nostrils, making you inhale and you adjusted your grip.

“Ready to do this?”

“Nope,” you said, making him laugh, “Let’s do it anyways.”

                                        ***

You had never been so good at dates. You always thought it was awkward and to be frank most of the time you felt like it was an unnecessary step to getting to know this person when you could just look them up or ask Chloe to do it for you.

Besides, the last time you had gone on a date it had ended up in what spies could get as close to a relationship as possible.

But now, much to your surprise you were actually enjoying yourself.

“Brooklyn!” you said, looking around, “Oh my God, I’ve wanted to come here for a while!”

“Have you?”

“Yeah!” you said, “Since I moved to New York. I saw it on um— I saw it on Gossip Girl.”

“Is that a magazine?”

“TV show.”

“Ah.”

“You grew up here right?” you asked and he nodded.

“Yeah! Yeah I grew up very close to this neighborhood actually.”

“Do I get to see it?”

He tilted his head, “Do you want to?”

“Yes!” you said, “It’d be fun, don’t you think?”

He hesitated only for a moment, “Right this way then,” he said and held out his hand. You bit down and smile and took it, then started walking beside him.

“There used to be a movie theatre there,” he motioned at one of the shops, “I was actually— I came around here right before I was shipped off.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm. We went to this Stark Exhibition, me and—“ he stopped talking and you looked up at him before it dawned on you.

Steve Rogers.

Of course. Figures.

You cleared your throat, desperate to pull him out of his own mind.

“I can actually see you growing up here,” you said, “And for some reason you’re wearing short pants and you have a cap? And you’re like running around with a newspaper under your— am I describing a movie? I think I’m describing a movie.”

“Weirdly enough, you’re actually right.”

Your jaw dropped, “Wait, are you serious?”

“Yeah I had short pants and a couple of caps while I was growing up,” he said, making you gasp.

“Aww!”

“No, don’t.”

“That’s such a cute mental image!”

“Stop imagining it.”

“Tiny baby Bucky Barnes with his tiny little hat—“ you started but he pulled you closer to cover your mouth while still walking, making you let out a muffled laugh.

“Hey you should see my baby pictures, they’re a mess,” you said, “I have this picture with strawberry jam covering my face and my hair— oh, I’ve heard about this shop before! They make these famous bagels, do you want to take a look?”

“Sure, why not?” he said and followed you into the shop.

“Oh come on…” he muttered as he took a look at the menu board “Why does everyone put everything in food nowadays?”

You stifled a laugh and turned to the woman behind the counter, “I’ll get a cereal rainbow bagel and he will get something….classic.”

“We have plain bagel with cheese?”

“That sounds good. When exactly did people start eating lavender?” he asked you and you shrugged,

“Pretty recently I think,” you said and reached for your wallet but Bucky shot you a look.

“Don’t even think about it,” he quoted you and paid for the food, then you both grabbed the small paper plates and sat down on the small bar stools. You crossed your legs, turning to look at him better.

“I could let you try mine?” you taunted him and he chuckled.

“No thank you.” He eyed your bagel as if it was going to come alive any time. “I like the smell but…”

You tore a part of your bagel and put it on his plate. “Live a little Bucky Barnes.”

He held up the piece as if toasting you and you held up your bagel to touch his, giggling.

“So,” you said, “Could you rest last night? At least a little?”

His gaze lingered on you for a moment, as if trying to decide what to say.

“Yeah,” he said eventually, “I did.”

Right.

Of course he would lie, it wasn’t as if he could tell you—

“I just had to go outside for an hour but it was fine.”

Your eyes snapped up to his and you blinked a couple of times, taken by surprise at his honesty. It would’ve been so easy for him to flat out tell you a lie, but for some reason he chose against it. You knew he wouldn’t tell you the whole thing but the fact that he hadn’t brushed you off somehow made you feel all warm.

“Oh?” you asked, “Is—is everything okay? You were safe right?”

“Of course.”

You raised your brows, “Bucky.”

“There’s just this…crazy person I keep running into but it’s fine, no worries.”

Crazy person?!

You stared at him but you managed to pull yourself together and sat up straighter, picking at the cereal on top of the bagel.

“As long as you rested just a little, I still take that as a win,” you pointed out, making him smile.

“How about you?” he asked, “How was your night?”

I ran into you right after assassinating another member of HYDRA.

“It wasn’t as exciting as yours,” you took a bite of your bagel, “Surprising isn’t it? Here I thought I was the dangerously adventurous one.”

                                ***

You were one hundred percent sure you were somehow doing this whole mission wrong. In fact scratch the mission, you were doing this date thing wrong.

You weren’t supposed to like it this much.

You had never enjoyed any of your earlier dates with other people this much. By the time you decided to go back, it was the middle of the night and you had spent the whole day together without even realizing it. It didn’t feel like it was a mission you had been put on, it almost—

It almost felt real.

You frowned at yourself, reminding yourself to keep your head in the game and got off the motorcycle when it stopped in front of the building your apartment was in. As soon as you took off your helmet, you started fixing your hair while he watched you with a smile on his face.

“I have a confession to make,” you said as you handed him the helmet for him to put it on the motorcycle.

“What is it?”

“There’s a slight possibility,” you said, bringing your thumb and pointer together close, “Very slight possibility that you may have been right about the motorcycle.”

“Oh was I now?” he asked, feigning surprise and you let out a giggle.

“Maybe,” you said, “I mean I didn’t die, that’s something.”

“That was an expectation?”

“That was a possibility,” you corrected him, “But I got on a motorcycle and you tried a weird bagel. As far as putting ourselves in dangerous situations on a second date, I’d say we’re even.”

“You know, thank you for acknowledging it,” he played along, “It was really intimidating at first, but I’d like to believe I pulled through in the end.”

“You did,” you said, “So proud of you. Maybe the next time you visit me at the shop, you can finally try Unicorn Cotton Candy.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said and shifted your weight, taking a deep breath.

“Thank you for today. I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun.”

“I’m glad,” he said with a smile, “Same here, aside from your quite disgusting taste in bagels, it was—”

“You didn’t like it?” you exclaimed and waved your hands in the air, “You know what, it’s fine. I have this strategy and you’ll—you’ll get there. We’re going to find something that is both completely modern and you like very much.”

“I think we already have,” he stated, his gaze locked in yours and you couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I’d hope so,” you replied, “Really.”

A silence fell upon you and you pushed your hair behind your ear.

“I should probably get going,” you pointed at the building with your thumb, “I have this very curious elderly neighbor, and trust me, she wouldn’t even wait for the morning to ask me about you if she saw us.”

“Oh we can’t have that, can we?” he said and you nodded your head, then gasped.

“Wait—Bucky, my flowers!” you said, “Give me my flowers.”

“Right,” he snapped his fingers and turned around to grab the bouquet from the top case, then paused.

“What?” you asked and he looked at you over his shoulder.

“Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to keep them in a very hot box whole day?” he asked and pulled out the bouquet, making you let out a whine at the sight. The flowers looked nearly withered and you took them from him, pressing your lips together.

“Okay, it’s not so bad,” you said as if trying to convince yourself, “It’s alright, I can fix this.”

“Darling I don’t think—“

“I can!” you insisted, “I’m gonna put them in water tonight or—or find some solution. I’m gonna google something, I’m pretty sure there are ways to save them.”

“Or I can just get you new ones.”

“That’s not how it works,” you pointed out, still holding the bouquet carefully over your chest as you assessed the damage, then looked up to find his eyes fixed on you.

“I’m—I should go now.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you moved for a moment before you took a deep breath, your heart slamming against your chest. You knew what your cover would or wouldn’t do, but somehow you had this urge that told you the situation probably called for your decisions, not your cover’s.

“Oh screw this,” you muttered as you stepped closer to him to stand on your tiptoes and pull him into a kiss.

Well, for you or your cover that felt like the best decision you had ever made on this mission.

He pressed you closer to his body, his hand cradling the back of your head and as if on cue, your stomach did a pleasant flip, giddiness filling your whole system. You rested a hand over his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat under your palm and let yourself get lost in the kiss until he pulled back slowly. A small giggle escaped from you as his arm around you got tighter, a smile lighting up his face.

“Well, you weren’t going to do it,” you commented, making him chuckle.

“I was waiting for the third date actually.”

“Oh how I’m glad the times have changed,” you said and caught the sight of the bouquet currently crushed between you two. You took a step back, tilting your head.

“Gosh, I don’t think I can fix this.”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure we just murdered them,” Bucky stated and you heaved a dramatic sigh.

“Worth it,” you grinned, “You win some you lose some.”

“New flowers next date, got it.”

A look of mischief crossed your face, “Deal. Good night Bucky.”

“Good night darling.”

You bit down a smile and made your way to the building, then hopped on the steps to get to your floor, somehow way too excited to get in the elevator and wait. As soon as you got into your apartment you leaned back to the door, closing your eyes.

Just your cover. You knew you had to act like your cover and that was why your heart was beating this fast, no other reason.

You pushed yourself off the door and stepped into the living room, still holding the flowers tight in your arms. You knew what you were supposed to do, back at the academy when you were being educated on seduction of the enemy, they always told you to draw the line between yourself and your cover. One of the easiest ways to do it was getting rid of every single thing your target would give you as a gift, keeping these gifts posed the danger of making you hesitant when it was time to bring the target in.

You couldn’t keep anything. You knew that.

It would be a rookie mistake.

You lingered on your steps, then approached the dinner table to touch the vase Chloe had put fake flowers in. You grabbed the fake flowers and pulled them out of the vase to throw them into the trashcan, then filled the vase to the brim with water and carefully placed the bouquet into it before putting it on the table again.

You were a professional spy. Keeping something as simple as flowers only for this one instance wouldn’t hurt anyone after all.

You were sure it would be fine.

You stepped back to take a look at the vase and shrugged your shoulders.

“My cover likes flowers,” you muttered to yourself and made your way to your bedroom.

Chapter 9

[cherienymphe]

Seeds of Tomorrow (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, murder, violence, arranged marriage, mentions of infidelity (does it still count if all parties are consenting?), mafia!Steve, side of Bucky x reader, jealous!Steve, Steve is the worst

DNI IF ANY OF THIS OFFENDS YOU

➥ {page breaks done by @whimsicalrogers​}

➥ Part 2 to Regrets of Yesterday

summary: your arranged marriage to the infamous Steve Rogers isn’t what you initially thought it would be, but things have worked out better than you could have imagined. However, your arrangement with your husband becomes complicated when feelings, and circumstances, that neither of you anticipated come into play.

~

You stewed over your news for days, unsure of how to navigate this. There was a brief moment where you struggled with who to tell first before the obvious answer slapped you in the face. Of course, Bucky was going to be who you went to first. You needed to figure out what the two of you would do about this, and depending on what that was, there might not be a need to even tell Steve.

Your first order of business was going to a doctor. Sure, your test, and the two more after it, was positive, but you needed more details than that. You needed to know how far along you were and if you were in good health. The day after your enlightening appointment, you called Bucky to let him know that you needed to see him.

You hadn’t seen him, nor Steve, in days. Not since you found out the news. You’d taken the time to cry and stress and mull over several courses of actions, several outcomes that could take place. Steve was gone the day you decided to meet Bucky, and for that, you were grateful. He’d been hanging around more and more as of late, and if that didn’t unnerve you, his attempts at making light conversation did. It never progressed passed a few exchanges through your closed door, and you wondered if his father was breathing down his neck about a son. What other reason could Steve possibly have for talking to you?

Bucky kissed your cheeks as soon as you slid into his limo, holding your hand in his lap as you sat beside him. He looked so excited to see you, and you wondered how long that would last. The conversation was light, Bucky only able to get one- or two-word answers out of you, and as he eyed you, you knew that he could tell that something was wrong.

He helped you out of your thick coat the minute you stepped inside of his house, and you rubbed your hands up and down your arms as he hung it up. He turned to look at you with a frown, hands resting on your shoulders.

“Somethings bothering you. Is it Steve?”

“…sort of. We need to talk…”

Your tone was grim, and Bucky’s face fell, but he guided you up the stairs, nonetheless. You sat down on his bed as he closed his bedroom door, reaching inside of your purse. You had tossed your pregnancy tests the minute you came back from the doctor with the slip of paper that confirmed your condition. Worry filled Bucky’s eyes as you handed it to him, and you watched as he hesitantly took it.

His blue eyes scanned over it, widening when he got to the middle, and you saw the way he paused before reading it again from the top. When he was done, his wide eyes met yours, and he took a cautious step towards you.

“You… You’re pregnant?”

You nodded at him.

“Just…a little over 3 months, and… I haven’t seen Pietro in 4 months so…”

“So it’s mine,” Bucky breathed, and you nodded.

You sharply inhaled when Bucky fell to his knees before you, wrapping his arms around you as he pressed his face into your stomach. You closed your eyes when he peppered kisses against you through the fabric, your hand reaching up to run through his dark hair.

“Bucky,” you said with a sad smile. “We have to talk about our options.”

He snapped his head up to meet your gaze, brows drawn together.

“What options? Y/N, this is our chance. You have to leave him now, and this will convince him to agree,” he replied.

Your lips parted, and you blinked as realization hit you. A part of you, one you didn’t want to acknowledge, swelled at his words.

“You want to keep it…?”

Bucky tilted his head at you.

“Don’t you?”

You thought about it as he continued.

“If it wasn’t for Steve…if it was just you and me… Would you want to keep this baby?”

“Of course,” you answered without hesitation because Steve was your only concern.

He threw you a small smile.

“Then we are keeping it,” he whispered.

“…but…what about Steve? What if he doesn’t agree to a divorce? What if he’s angry?”

Bucky pressed his lips together, a small smirk dancing along them.

“He’ll agree to the divorce, doll. I know Steve better than anyone. He isn’t going to want to raise someone else’s kid. He’s not going to pass on his legacy to a child that isn’t his, and he’s definitely not going to want to deal with all the questions that will surely come when he doesn’t pass his legacy onto a kid that everyone thinks is his.”

You considered this.

“People will figure it out. People will talk. Steve likes his reputation…his image… He’ll give you the divorce. He might be angry that he has to go through this whole marriage process again, he might even throw some dirt on your name, but he’ll let you leave,” he continued.

Bucky stood, hands clasping yours as you looked up at him. A slow nervous smile made its way onto your lips, and a shaky laugh escaped you.

“So…we’re doing this?”

Bucky joined you before pulling you up, yanking you closer until his lips met yours. You hummed into this kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re pregnant,” he breathed in awe as he pulled away.

He shook his head in slight disbelief, but his smile was the largest you’d ever seen on him.

“You’re pregnant,” he murmured again just before he kissed you again.

His hands made quick work of getting you out of your dress as he moved you back. You both fell onto the bed in a heap, you giggling because Bucky’s lips and fingers just refused to stay in one place, and him growling in frustration because he couldn’t get you naked fast enough.

“You’re going to get so big…so round,” he moaned, pressing his lips to your collarbone.

“Stop,” you begged, heat warming your face at the thought.

“Never,” he breathed, his bare chest grazing yours as he looked at you.

His eyes flitted over your face, drinking you in like he was trying to memorize every detail. He reached up to brush his fingers over your face, across your lips, ghosting over your jaw. He softly pressed his lips to yours as he slid inside of you, your back arching at the feel. You exhaled into his mouth, lips parting as he sank into you to the hilt.

“You have never looked more beautiful than you do now,” he whispered, pulling his hips back before pressing into you again.

You wrapped your arms around him, lips parted as soft moans climbed out of them.

“I can’t wait to call you my wife,” he murmured, just before swallowing your moans with a kiss.

You spent just about all day with Bucky, losing count of how many times you came undone for him. In between, he made sure to bring you food and water, not wanting a repeat of the last gala you went to. Your blissful mood waned however, when you neared your house. Bucky rubbed the back of your hand with his fingers, eyeing you.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

You shook your head.

“No. I think it’s best if I do this alone,” you told him.

His expression was unreadable when you looked at him, and he sighed.

“I’ll wait outside then,” he said.

You tilted your head, a soft look on your face as you rested your other hand on his cheek.

“You don’t have to do that,” you replied, shaking your head.

Bucky smirked, but it lacked humor, and you watched the way he eyed the big house through the tinted windows.

“You don’t know Steve like I know Steve.”

His words gave you pause, and you worriedly eyed him.

“Yes, he inherited the business from his father, but it takes a certain kind of man to keep it up and running, especially as well as he does.”

You frowned at him, and his eyes met yours.

“The truth is, you don’t know your husband, at all. You don’t know what he’s capable of, so yes,” he said, making your eyes widen as he reached for his gun and placed it in his lap. “I will wait right outside.”

You were suddenly very nervous, much more than you were before, and you realized that you would have to be way more gentle with the news than you realized. You nodded at Bucky, accepting his quick kiss before allowing him to help you out of the limo. A biting wind hit your cheek, making you wince as you tightened your coat around you. Part of you wished that Steve wasn’t home, but you knew the odds of that were slim.

You were proven right when you walked through the door.

He was leaning back into the couch, ankle resting on the opposite knee as he mulled over some paperwork in his hands. He glanced up at you when you slowly made your way into the living room, blue eyes quickly scanning over your frame.

“You weren’t here when I got back,” he said, eyes returning to the papers before him.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I was…with a friend.”

He cut his eyes to you, and there was that look again. The one he’d given you the night of the gala, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He didn’t give a proper response, merely humming. There were a few seconds of silence before you swallowed.

“Steve, we need to talk.”

You watched as he paused, setting the papers down on the coffee table before looking to you. His expression was unreadable, but that same old cold look was in his eye. You weren’t accustomed to being on the receiving end of it, at least not for this long, and your heart fluttered.

“My only purpose is to…give birth to an heir, correct?”

You could tell that Steve wasn’t expecting that to come out of your mouth, and he frowned a bit before nodding.

“Yes. Maybe 2 more children after that, but that is why you’re here.”

You nodded.

“…and so…anyone could do that, right? If a baby is all you need then any woman could do that for you? It doesn’t have to be me?”

He didn’t respond right away, and you watched as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He swiftly stood, large hands resting on his hips as he eyed you. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and God, did you hate that.

“This conversation is hypothetical…?” he eventually asked although it sounded more like a demand.

Hesitantly, you shook your head at him. You watched as his nostrils flared, jaw clenching as he watched you take off your ring. It was big and shiny and ostentatious in every way. It had never been your style, and you knew there was no shortage of women who’d cut your finger off just to have it. His gaze was icy as you held it up towards him.

“What is the meaning of this?”

You took a deep breath, and Steve’s eyes followed the action.

“I’m asking you to find another woman to give you what you need. I’m sure there’s a whole line of them plotting on my downfall, no idea that…you were never mine to begin with,” you told him.

He took a step towards you, visibly upset now, but you stood your ground.

“We have an arrangement-.”

“Yes, and I’m asking you to find another woman for your arrangement. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but it should be easy for you. It can’t be me, Steve,” you whispered. “Not anymore.”

He scoffed, a mocking smirk on his lips as he glared at you.

“Why? Because you can’t handle it anymore?”

“Excuse me?” you said, blinking in confusion.

He neared you, but you were so taken aback by the turn in conversation that you didn’t move.

“You knew what this marriage entailed the very first day. I made it very clear, and I thought that we were both on the same page,” he started.

“I know. We were-!”

“Clearly not, because here you are, standing before me, throwing in the towel because my lifestyle is getting to you. Because you can’t handle it,” he sneered.

You frowned at him, understanding hitting you, and you blinked a few times. You shook your head at him.

“No, Steve. That’s…that’s not what this is about, at all,” you told him.

He tilted his head.

“Isn’t it? Have the lonely nights gotten to you? I told you that you were just as free to-.”

“I know that! Steve, that isn’t what-!”

“Or is this some grand scheme of yours?” he sneered, making you rear back. “…do you think you can threaten me into being with you and only you? You think this little performance, this ultimatum will force me to give up a lifestyle I have been accustomed to for years?”

“No, of course not. That’s not what I’m-.”

“I’m calling your bluff, Mrs. Rogers,” he said, turning his back on you. “So, you can put that ring back on and either suffer in silence or get-.”

“I’m pregnant!”

Steve froze, and you sighed, disappointed with how this conversation was going. You had a plan, damnit! You had a way you were going to go about this, and then Steve just went and ruined all of that. He turned to face you, lips parted and brows furrowed as he mulled over your confession. He pressed his lips together, face suddenly taut as he ran his eyes over you, and you squirmed under his shocked gaze.

“This isn’t about other women or ultimatums or whatever. I’m pregnant, Steve…and it’s obviously not yours, hence the little dilemma I find myself in,” you continued.

“Pregnant,” he murmured, more to himself than you, but you nodded anyway.

“…and…Bucky he-.”

“Bucky?”

His eyes bulged, tone incredulous as he took a step towards you. You swallowed, lips pressed together as he blinked, putting two and two together.

“…as in…my Bucky? James?”

You looked away, feeling a bit guilty that it was his best friend of all people. You knew this was a lot of information to take in, and you didn’t envy Steve in this moment, but you knew that he was just shocked is all. You were pregnant with someone else’s child, Bucky’s child, and should things go your way, he’d have to go through the process all over again of finding a wife. You knew this was frustrating for him.

“Yes. Bucky wants me to keep it…and I agree,” you quietly continued.

Steve said nothing, just stared at you, face pinched. His hands flexed, and you took a step towards him. He stared you down, but his shoulders sagged a bit at the pleading look on your face.

“Let me be with him, Steve.”

His jaw ticked, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek.

“You don’t need me. There’s no shortage of women who would happily take my place. Who could give you what you need,” you said.

He sharply inhaled, straightening as he looked away from you, and your heart sank.

“Steve, please. They get you, you get your son, and Bucky and I get each other. Everybody wins,” you explained.

He sharply cut his eyes to yours, gaze hard as he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Is that how you see it?”

His tone made you nervous, and you hurriedly grabbed his hand. He looked just as shocked as you felt because when was the last time you’d done so? Your wedding day? Almost two years ago?

“I’ve never asked you for anything. Never! Despite the fact that this marriage was not what I initially expected, despite the fact that I wasn’t keen on the idea of me and my husband seeing other people, I accepted it. I made the best of it…”

He simply stared at you, and you went on.

“Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to go to Bucky of all people. It definitely wasn’t smart to be as careless as we were, but I won’t apologize for it. I’ll apologize for inconveniencing you, for springing this on you, but I won’t apologize for falling in love. Especially not when I can be easily replaced,” you told him. “Say whatever you want. Say I ruined the marriage, say I was a complete bitch, I don’t care. Just…let me be with him, Steve. This is the only thing I’ve ever asked of you.”

Your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest at any moment, and all the while, Steve simply stared. Your eyes searched his for any kind of clue, anything that would tell you what he was thinking, but he simply looked towards the ceiling. His broad shoulders heaved as he released a long sigh, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

“…alright.”

You froze, eyes widening, and he lowered his head until his eyes met yours.

“I will…draw up the divorce papers tomorrow-.”

He didn’t even finish before you were throwing your arms around him, a million ‘thank yous’ escaping your lips.

“I don’t want anything, Steve. Nothing. Everything is yours just…thank you,” you breathed.

Steve was frozen for a moment, taken aback by your uncharacteristic display of affection. You supposed that you couldn’t blame him. The two of you had never hugged before. Reluctantly, he wrapped his own arms around you, briefly returning the gesture before you both let go. You smiled at him, a genuine gesture that you had never given him before, and his hands fell to his sides.

“Thank you, Steve,” you tearfully told him. “Thank you.”

You leaned in to press your lips to his cheek, but Steve turned his head, lips meeting yours. It was brief, and you pulled away in shock, but you didn’t think much of it. Maybe it was an accident, and even if it wasn’t, there was no harm in a simple kiss goodbye. Steve had given you everything you wanted, so you wouldn’t fault him for it.

You tightened your coat around you as you stepped away, thanking him again. You turned the minute you got to the living room entrance, sprinting for the door without hesitation. Bucky was leaning against the limo when you stepped outside, and your smile was wide as you headed straight for him. He caught you in his arms, lips finding yours the minute he pulled you into the car.

 “…we can come back to that later. What if it’s a boy?”

Bucky threw you a look across the table, and you chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“Of course. James Buchanan Barnes the 2nd,” you said, Bucky joining in as he took your hand.

“Are you nervous?”

You shook your head at him with a small smile.

“I don’t care what it is. As long as it’s healthy,” you told him, and he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I know a male is preferred…in this line of business.”

Your voice grew small, and Bucky frowned at you, standing to help you stand.

“That’s true, but my family is not as old fashioned as Steve’s. A daughter could run this business just as easily as her father,” he said. “Hell, maybe better than her old man.”

You laughed with him as he helped you into your coat. You rested your hand on your swollen belly as he helped you outside. You were just at 5 months now, although it sometimes felt like 8, and you would be finding out the sex of the baby today. You were excited, and you couldn’t believe how much time had passed so quickly.

No one had been more surprised than you that Steve just…let you go. You remembered thinking that you would probably have to beg on your knees, hell, maybe even offer to blow him, but it seemed that Bucky really did know Steve best. He had been true to his word, drawing up the divorce papers almost immediately. You received them two days later and signing them was simple enough. You didn’t want anything, and Steve didn’t want anything from you. You sent them back to him as soon as your signature was on the paper, and you felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

Bucky, eager as always, wanted to marry you right away, but by the time all the planning and arranging had been made, you would be…well 5 months along. Where you are now, and you didn’t want to wear your wedding dress with a baby bump.

“Besides, wouldn’t it be cute to have our baby in the wedding pictures?” you had told him, and he was forced to agree that it was a cute idea.

Your doctor liked the sound of it too, and she was flattered to be invited to the wedding.

“We’ll have to see what my schedule is like, but I’d be honored to attend,” she said, eyes on the monitor.

Bucky’s hand was tight around yours as you both eyed the screen, and you watched as your doctor smiled.

“Everything still looks good since the last time you saw me, but there he is. Your healthy baby boy,” she told you, and your lips parted.

You leaned closer, eyes running over the screen in awe, and you felt Bucky’s lips against the top of your head.

“We’re not calling him junior,” you suddenly whispered, and Bucky chuckled into your hair.

“We’ll call him whatever you want, doll.”

The whole ride home was spent gushing about your son. His crib, his nursery, his clothes, schools, anything you could think of. Bucky hadn’t stopped grinning since you left the doctor, and he fucked you just a little bit more gentle that night.

When you woke up, you felt more well rested than you had in a while. Bucky’s side of the bed was empty, but it wasn’t unusual. Business called, but he regularly checked on you throughout the day whenever he was gone. You had a nice breakfast, thankful that the morning sickness chapter of your pregnancy was gone. Truth be told, you couldn’t wait for the hormones to kick in. Then Bucky would have no choice but to stay home and fuck you all day.

You were in the living room, reading one of your several baby books that Bucky had bought you, when the doorbell rang. You called to your housekeeper, telling him that you would get it before he had the chance to run all the way across the house. You hated making anyone’s job harder. With only some difficulty, you rose from the couch and made your way to the front door.

The figure through the decorative window seemed familiar to you, and your suspicions were confirmed when you looked through the peephole. Confusion filled you, but you unlocked the door anyway, prepared to tell Steve that Bucky wasn’t here. However, the minute you opened the door, he forced himself inside, gliding past you.

You hesitated for a second before closing the door, blinking as you turned around.

“Steve…Bucky’s not here,” you told him.

You were more than surprised to see him. You hadn’t seen him since the day you told him you were pregnant and hadn’t heard anything from him since you’d sent the divorce papers back. He and Bucky still worked together, running this city side by side, and from the way your fiancé talked, it seemed that they were as close as ever. You knew that Steve didn’t care about you, but you were still worried that some weird macho ego thing would get in the way of their friendship. You were relieved that wasn’t the case.

“I know that. I’m here…”

He had spun around to face you, words dying in his throat as he fully looked at you for the first time in months. His pink lips parted, blue eyes lowering to fall to your protruding stomach. Force of habit, you placed your hand on your belly, eyes wide and curious as you waited for him to finish.

“I’m here to see you,” he quietly finished.

Your brows furrowed,

“Oh! Okay then,” you said, stepping further into the living room.

You could feel his eyes on you as you cleaned up your mess, stacking your books and moving to put your empty mug in the sink. He was still in the same spot when you returned, cold eyes on you. It would have bothered you before, but you had long accepted that Steve was just like that with almost everyone.

As you sat down, you noticed some papers in his fist, and you curiously eyed them.

“What’s going on? Is this about Bucky?”

His jaw ticked at the mention of the dark-haired man, and he heaved a sigh.

“These,” he started, holding up the papers in his hand. “…are our divorce papers.”

You stared at him for a moment, a slight frown on your face as you registered what he said. When it finally clicked, you blinked, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Our what? Steve, why do you still have those?”

He didn’t answer, and you called his name again.

“Why weren’t those sent off? Is something wrong with them? Did I miss a signature?”

You were positive that you hadn’t, but why else did he still have them? God, did this mean you had still been married to him this whole time? Were you still married to him? He didn’t respond right away, and he looked away from you, nostrils flaring.

“I can’t send them off,” he told you, making your heart drop to your stomach. “I won’t.”

You stood on shaky legs, looking at him like he’d lost his mind.

“You’re kidding…right?”

Steve simply stared at you in that impassive way that always made you feel like such a nuisance, and you scoffed.

“Why?” you quietly demanded. “Do you…do you want something from me? From Bucky? Money?”

It seemed insane because Steve was rich, but what else could he possibly want? That was the only logical reason for why he didn’t send those papers off. You huffed when you realized that he wasn’t even looking at you, his bright blue eyes focused on your bump. He took a step towards you, papers still clutched in his hand as he pointed at you.

“That baby should be mine.”

His words made your head spin, and you wondered if you heard him correctly. When your mind fully processed his statement, you felt like you were going to be sick.

“I’m…sorry?”

He took another step towards you, and when his eyes met yours again, you saw more emotion in them than you ever had. They were on fire, gaze intense as he stared you down, jaw clenched.

“That…baby…should…be…mine,” he slowly repeated, and you took a step back.

It took a while for you to respond.

“Are you…okay?”

You stared at him like he was high on something, confusion and dread clouding your thoughts. Was this a prank? Had Steve developed a sense of humor that you didn’t know about?

“You heard me,” he spat, and you nodded.

“Yes. I know. I’m just…trying to make sure I heard you correctly or maybe you didn’t say what you meant to say…?”

“…and why would you think that? Did I stutter? Do I look unsure of my words in any way?” he sneered.

You didn’t appreciate his tone, and you glared at your ex-husband. Well…estranged husband because thanks to him, you two were still married.

“Forgive me if I’m a little confused, Steve,” you snapped. “…but you don’t even like me, and I’m not talking romantically here. You don’t care for me as a person, and here you are saying that my baby…should be yours?”

He placed his hands on his hips, turning his head away as he exhaled.

“Where is this coming from?”

“Why him?” he suddenly asked, glaring at you. “Out of all of the men in this world that you could have fucked, why Bucky? Why him?”

He continued before you could respond.

“You could have fucked literally anyone else, and you chose my best-.”

“For your information, I did fuck literally anyone else I wanted to,” you threw at him, watching as he reared back. “…Bucky just happened to be the only one I fucked during the last 4 months of our marriage…and the one I fell in love with.”

He swallowed, and you sighed.

“Is he the problem? Is it because it’s your best friend and not some stranger you don’t have to see every day?”

You did feel a tad guilty about it, but there had never been any stipulations in your agreement outside of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and never in the house. You certainly hadn’t expected to fall in love with Bucky, but it couldn’t be helped. How could you not when he was the complete opposite of your husband?

“He’s glowing.”

Your confusion must have been evident, because he continued without any prompting from you.

“Every time I see Bucky, he’s practically glowing. He looks the happiest I have ever seen him, all smiles and excitement and an air of peace that was never there before. It had started long before you dropped the bomb on me, and it was only after did I realize why.”

You frowned at him.

“You make him so happy. He’s almost unrecognizable in his joy…and its because of you…and I hate it,” he lowly admitted.

Your frown deepened as he glared at you.

“That happiness…that peace, it should be mine. That baby should be mine. You were mine first,” he said, and you scoffed.

“I was never yours. You made that perfectly clear not even five minutes into our marriage.”

“I regret that. I won’t lie to you. I’ve regretted that for some time now…”

He slowly started to pace before you, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek.

“I had any woman I could want…and I was so miserable. They all started to sound the same, feel the same…and eventually, they all became faceless to me,” he quietly said.

His words reminded you of his odd behavior before everything seemed to hit the fan.

“…all except one.”

He turned to look at you, and you swallowed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Ironically, the one I never had. The one who, as you so eloquently put it, was never mine.”

You nodded, a humorless chuckle escaping you.

“So you got tired of fucking anything that moved and decided to move onto me… You have some nerve, Steve.”

You shook your head at him.

“I know.”

“…and what if I decided that I didn’t want to move forward with you and only you? What if I had told you that I liked our little arrangement because, as you can see,” you said, gesturing around you. “…I like our little arrangement a lot.”

His nostrils flared.

“We would’ve crossed that bridge when we got there…”

“Looks like we’re at that bridge now.”

You both stared each other down for what felt like forever before he finally said what you’d been waiting for.

“I don’t want you to be with him.

“Well, that’s too damn bad! I’m with him. I’m having his baby, for crying out loud, we’re engaged,” you yelled, holding up your left hand.

Steve’s eyes simply passed over your ring like it didn’t matter, holding up the divorce papers as he raised an eyebrow at you.

“How will you marry him if you’re already married?”

Maybe the hormones were already kicking in because you felt yourself growing hot, tears springing forth as you glared at him.

“Why are you doing this to me?” you cried. “I’m happy! I’m so happy, and you are ruining this!”

Steve simply looked at you, not an ounce of remorse on his features, and you scoffed.

“You didn’t want me,” you spat.

He looked down, hands still placed on his hips. Your chest was heaving, and you were so angry you thought you’d give birth then and there.

“Do you remember? You barely looked at me on our wedding day, and the few times you acknowledged me during our marriage, I felt like a complete nuisance. A burden! You didn’t want me…but now you don’t want anyone else to have me?”

“I never said I was perfect.”

You briefly closed your eyes, holding back your tears.

“This is my chance to have a happy wedding, a happy marriage. You don’t have to be this selfish, you know? You don’t have to live up to your reputation.”

He didn’t respond, and your frustration and desperation grew.

“Steve!”

He merely shrugged at you, and you sneered at him.

“Fuck you,” you spat.

He sniffed, and you watched as he gripped the papers with both hands, making your eyes widen.

“Discuss it with Buck however you like, but you’re coming home-.”

“No,” you shrieked, rushing towards him as he tore the papers.

Your nails dug into his hands, trying to stop him, but the damage was already done. You slapped him, the sound echoing in the quiet house while your other hand gripped his collar. Without hesitation, Steve’s hand was around your throat, and your eyes widened at his harsh grip.

You hit against him as he forced you back, nose brushing yours as he ran his eyes over you. There was a darkness there that you were unfamiliar with, and you wondered if this was the reason Bucky had insisted on waiting for you that day. You wondered if this was the Steve he knew that you didn’t.

All of your thoughts came to a screeching halt when he pressed his lips against yours. His mouth completely covered yours, and shock coursed through you. You pushed against him, but his free arm simply curled around you, pressed your bump against him as he moved his mouth against yours in a brutal kiss. He groaned against your lips, and you shook in his hold, tears escaping now.

He only broke away from you when you both heard a noise, and you both turned to see Jarvis, your housekeeper, standing in the entranceway to the kitchen. His eyes were wide, and he looked unsure on what to do until his eyes met your fearful ones. Everything after that seemed to happen so fast.

Jarvis ran towards the phone while Steve let you go to reach into the inside pocket of his suit. You pushed yourself against him, fear gripping your frame as you fought to stop him from doing what you suspected. He had no qualms about shoving you away from him, and you barely caught yourself against the couch just as a gunshot rang in your ears.

You clutched your stomach, a scream climbing out of your throat before you snapped your mouth shut. Your stomach churned, and you were positive you were going to be sick. It was quiet save for your soft sobs, and when you hesitantly looked to Steve only to shake as you stared down the barrel of a gun.

“Steve,” you whispered.

He gestured in the direction of the stairs with the gun, blue eyes on you as he tilted his head.

“Up the stairs, sweetheart.”

You clenched your jaw, fear of so many things swirling in your head as you straightened.

“You’re not going to kill me,” you told him.

He wouldn’t, and you both knew it.

“You’re right. I’m not,” he said with a shrug, putting the gun away. “…but you’re still going to walk up those stairs. Baby or no baby, you can’t fight me off.”

He was right, and despite the fresh tears that hit your face, you slowly made your way towards the stairs. His steps were loud behind you, they always had been, and you always hated the sound of him walking throughout the house. You jumped when you felt his hand on the small of your back, and he shushed you.

“Easy,” he said, guiding you through the hallways.

It was clear that Steve was familiar with Bucky’s house, and while that wasn’t a surprise, his intentions, once they became clear, were. Your eyes widened when the master bedroom came into view, and you dug your heels into the floor. It was in vain.

Steve wrapped his arms around you, forcing you into the room despite your nails digging into the doorjamb to stop him. You were full on sobbing as you fought against him, elbowing him and hitting him anywhere you could reach. His hold was firm, and you were a trembling mess when he pushed you down onto the mattress.

“Is this where he fucks you every night?”

“Steve, please,” you begged, pushing against him.

One hand was pressed into your back, and you could hear him undressing himself with the other.

“…is this where he knocked you up? No, why would the two of you ever need a fancy hotel when you had his big house all to yourselves,” he sneered.

It took nothing for him to get you undressed. Dresses were the most comfortable things for you right now, and with a baby dancing on your bladder, underwear just got in the way more often than not. You were hysterical as Steve grazed his hand over your back, fingers dancing over your skin as he drank you in for the first time.

He flipped you, and you stared up at him with pleading eyes. One hand splayed along your chest, fingertips brushing your collarbone as he stepped between your legs, practically ignorant to the way you tried to keep them shut.

“Steve,” you pleaded again.

He ignored you, his free hand finding its way between your legs, playing you like an instrument. You squeezed your eyes shut at the feel, trying in vain to fight off the emotions he brought out of you. Your eyes snapped open when you felt him at your entrance, and you started to plead with him one last time when he pushed himself into you, making you swallow your words.

You had never even seen Steve without a shirt on, let alone naked, so you didn’t know what to expect. He was bigger than Bucky, and your body fought to adjust to him. A choked sob escaped you, and Steve merely groaned as he pressed himself against you. Through your blurry vision, you could see that his eyes were on you, hungrily taking you in as he pulled back.

He stopped when only the tip of him remained before snapping into you. You yelped, hand flying up to grip the one on your chest, nails pressing into his skin. His pace wasn’t brutal, but it wasn’t gentle either. The low moans that escaped his lips made your skin crawl, and you cried harder every time he pressed his hand against your stomach.

You pushed against him as he wiggled his hips, and fed up with all of your resistance, he gripped both of your hands and harshly pinned them beside your head. His lips were on your face now, tasting whatever he could. Your cheeks, your jaw, your mouth. You kept turning your head away, and eventually, he huffed.

“I doubt you’re like this with Bucky…”

You grimaced at the thought of your fiancé, his best friend, and more tears fell.

“Do you sing for him? I bet you squirm for him like a little puppy,” he sneered.

He moved, pressing his knees into the bed on either side of your thighs, hitting something in you that had your breath hitching. A smirk danced along his pink lips, a devious chuckle escaping him. He pressed into that spot over and over, forcing small whimpers to bubble in your throat.

“There she is,” he purred, leaning over to press his lips against your jaw. “I’ve thought about this for months. What you’d feel like…sound like…”

He grinded his hips against yours, and you gasped, heart fluttering as you clenched around him.

“Don’t be afraid to squeeze me, sweetheart. Milk me,” he murmured.

You shook your head, pushing against his wrists, but his hold was firm.

“When the time comes, I’m going to put a baby in you-.”

“No,” you yelped, squirming underneath him.

“I’m going to keep you pregnant…and you’ll never leave…”

You could feel him twitching, hips stuttering, and his breath grew shaky.

“I’m going to keep you full of my cum, and Bucky will never get his hands on you again.”

You fluttered around him as he came inside of you, choppy gasps escaping you as your head spun. You could feel the mess you were making of your sheets, and you wanted to cry again. Steve groaned when he pressed his lips to yours, and you turned your head away.

“I should have fucked a baby into you on our wedding night,” he breathed. “…but I’ll be sure to make up for lost time from here on out.”

You glared at him, and he simply smirked at you, that smirk only growing when the sound of the front door opening reached your ears.

~

tags:   @mcudarklibrary​​ @sherrybaby14​​ @harryspet​​ @xoxabs88xox​​ @darkficreposter​​ @opheliadawnwalker3​​ @honeychicanawrites​​  @nickyl316h​​ @captainchrisstan​​ @sebabestianstan101​​ @readermia​​ @villanellevi​​​ @lokislastlove​​​ @notyourtypicalrose​​​ @coconutqueen21​​​ @hurricanerin​​​ @buckybarnesplumwhore​​​ @quaksonhehe​​​ @nerdygirl8203​​​ @patzammit​​​ @mandiiblanche​​​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​​​ @gotnofucks​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @vogueworthy-barnes​ @supraveng​

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VI

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1567.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

________

You spent the rest of your evening like a somnambulist, barely able to concentrate on your projects before you went to bed, barely finishing half of the things you planned for today. Even the change of locks didn't make you as happy as you thought it would. It felt like something between a dream and a nightmare.

Lying in the dark, you stared at the ceiling, thinking of what happened just a couple of hours ago. Why did he do it? Was it just out of habit and didn’t mean anything? Naturally, with his appearance and easy-going attitude, he probably dated many girls and didn’t think much before kissing someone he liked.

Remembering the way he talked to you in the morning, you thought he must have pretended to be shy around you. Thor certainly wasn’t sheepish.

Was it all a sham? Was Loki right about all of them, playing their roles to get close to you? You couldn’t forget the way Thor looked the moment he told you about being smart. It was like something switched inside him, and for a second you saw the real Thor who was far from being your simple, good-natured athlete.

Why did you keep thinking about that stupid kiss even after seeing the man could be dangerous?

Aroused and angry, you tossed and turned until you fell asleep.

____________

Waking up was especially tough, despite the fact you didn't really do much yesterday, meaning you were going to spend your weekend studying. Shoot, and that's when you planned to visit that new chocolate boutique in the city. Maybe you could still make it if you spent more time studying today?

But then again, going to the city alone might be a bad idea. Even if the guys who stole your things were beaten, it didn't mean it had always been the same people following you. The school was full of weirdos, in the end. What if somebody went after you? Steve would definitely say you had to bring one of your guards with you.

Damn. It was better staying in the dorm then.

"Good morning! Are you ready?" Peter's voice broke through the silence, and you flinched, hurriedly applying some lipstick because you didn't have enough time to put your makeup properly.

Well, at least you were fully dressed.

"Just give me a second!" Picking up your bag, you put your shoes on and opened the door, looking at a young guy who's face was lit up like a Christmas tree. "Hi!"

He definitely liked what he saw, and you felt your cheeks growing hot from embarrassment. From the very start of the semester Peter acted very sweet around you, and you thought you could be friends with him. He wouldn't do something as ugly as blackmailing, would he? Thor said it too. Clearly, Steve was exaggerating.

"Did you sleep well? I've heard you changed your lock, so now it'll be better."

"Ugh, I hope so. But I still sleep with my dresser blocking the door." Sighing, started walking, afraid to look in the faces of other students, hurrying off to school.

They must have been disgusted, watching you being friendly with one guy after being all lovey-dovey with the other just yesterday. Although you didn't see anyone in particular, you were sure somebody saw Thor kissing you. And now you were walking the corridors with Peter.

"By the way, what's your Insta?"

What? Your Instagram? Whatever for? Although you had no idea why he needed it, you let him add you, by the time leaving the dorm and walking towards the main building.

Suddenly, Peter got pretty close, his arm on your waist as he lifted up his phone and hummed, "Look here and smile!"

Before you realized what he was doing, the boy kissed your temple, and you heard the sound of a photo being taken by his front-facing camera. What the Hell?!

"Peter!" Pissed at him, you quickly break free and stepped back, but he was already looking at his phone, editing the photo and posting it almost immediately.

You heard your phone buzz when he marked you on the photo.

"That's a good one. You look very cute here."

"What are you doing?!"

"Making a proof we're dating, of course?"

You were taken aback by the sincerity in his voice, and Peter smiled from ear to ear like an excited teenager, showing you the picture: it wasn't that bad, and you looked as if you were slightly embarrassed by Peter's closeness. Oh, of course. He had to convince his friends he was dating you, but he didn't kiss you on the lips that could make other people too suspicious. Instead, friends of Barnes or, say, Thor, would still think it was all for show, and it was their friend who dated you for real.

Shit, Steve's plan was incredibly complicated, and you didn't like it at all.

"Oh, alright." You mumbled, lowering your eyes to the ground, and Peter laughed.

"We'll make a TikTok dance later. If you wanna make people talk, just use your social media." He winked at you and put the phone in the pocket of his pants, resuming walking, and you moved along, your face still hot.

God, what did these guys got you into? You felt like you were lost in the middle of a play, not even having a script to read what was your role in all this.

Before you parted your ways, going to a different classrooms, Peter talked about videogames, the upcoming Resident Evil - apparently, his favorite franchise - and some Dota tournament, but you didn't know much about it, and Peter offered to show you his favorite games "because you can't spend all your time studying!"

He was as careless and sweet as always, but you couldn't get Steve's words out of your mind. Damn, if only you could know for sure that Peter didn't blackmail anyone. Who could you talk to about it? Obviously, not Peter himself, but every time he spoke you had that nagging feeling you needed to talk to him. You barely kept your mouth shut before he went to a different room.

Ugh, why didn't you transfer anywhere else when you still had a chance? Obviously, now you could only drop out of school, and it definitely wasn't something you were going to do.

Luckily, the next couple of hours you were busy with your classes, trying your best to prepare for the upcoming exams. The academy held high standards, and even though you were a good student, it still took lots of efforts to keep up the good work. How Thor even managed to get enrolled, judging by the fact he hated studying and often skipped classes?

Ah yes, he mentioned something about getting a scholarship from the academy for his success in the sport.

By the lunch time you were drained, listening to Peter chatting with an absent-mindedly epxression on your face. Funny enough, Peter's grades were better than yours, even though he spent much less time studying. What, was he some genius like Loki? You felt a little envy.

"I gotta go take my tracksuit, I have PE next," the boy said, and you nodded, throwing away the leftovers of your lunch.

As you stood close while he grabbed his sportclothes, you heard two guys talking behind the lockers to your right.

"Have you seen her today? She's with Parker!"

You tensed immediately. Of course, they were talking about you.

"Yeah, so what?"

"She was with Thor yesterday!"

Watching you froze on the spot, Peter stilled too, listening carefully. Oh shit, you hoped no one cared about who you went with - why should they, in the end - but, apparently, you were drawing too much attention simply because you were a girl among hundreds of male students.

"So what?" The other guy asked impatiently, growing tired of this conversation.

"Are you stupid? She's going out with them! I bet she's looking for a guy." The first student said with excitement, and you cringed. No, you weren't going out with anyone, you wanted to stop the weirdos from following you and steeling your things. Was it too much to ask?

"Yeah, who cares?"

"We have three fucking girls in the whole school, and you don't care if one of them could be going out with you? Besides, this one's pretty. I'd fuck her!"

You felt like you were going to puke any moment. Why on Earth did you decide to transfer to an all-boys school? It was like the whole school were a men’s room filled with stupid-ass guys, and you were locked inside, forced to listen them talk junk.

"You'd fuck a sheep, weirdo. Go get yourself a girlfriend if you can’t stop thinking with your dick.”

Laughing, the guy left, and his friend followed him, shouting something stupid while you breathed out a sigh of relief. Of course, you knew there would be some talk, but you didn’t expect it to be so... gross. Were you really gonna spend the two remaining years here?

Watching you getting frustrated, Peter gently touched you by the arm and said softly, “Don’t worry. They won’t talk rubbish about you.”

“What do you mean?” Suddenly thinking of Steve’s words, you blurted out exactly what you were thinking of the whole day, “Are you going to blackmail them with something?”

“I... what?”

Part VII

__________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 1

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.

Word Count: 1871 (ahaha, yea)

Reader: Female

Warning: parole officers might be triggering??? idk

Author’s Note: I’ve decided to end my 141 part Wattpad Sebastian Stan imagine book and post on Tumblr instead :’), a happy day. Also, I’M SORRY THAT I LIKE SLOW BURN SERIES OK? Schedule for this series is every Thursday. ALSO IF YOU HAVE TITLE IDEAS FOR THIS SERIES, LMK! PLEASE

Masterlist

Part 2  Part 3  Part 4

=====

The sound of your heels echoed throughout the dimly lit room as you make your way through the exhibit. The walls take you back in time, reading how Captain America came to be and all his past accomplishments. They even updated from the last time you were here, documenting the events on the Blip.

You didn’t even know where you were going, absently letting your emotions and feet lead to where it felt you needed to be.

“For a former spy, you’re not really good at sneaking up on someone.” Rhodes’ voice greets you once you open up the curtain to a different area. A small smile sneaks its way across your face seeing the two men in front of you.

“Bit out of practice.” You spit back, walking towards them. “It’s nice to see you again, Rhodie.” You open your arms out to him and he gladly takes the hug. “Hopefully life’s been treatin’ you well.”

“For the most part,” He chuckles out while pulling away from the embrace. You move on to the other man, him happily wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrap yours around his shoulders.

Sam lets out a breath into the crook of your neck before pulling back. “You doing okay?” You ask, looking at his face for any sign of emotion. He nods but there was something in his eye that told otherwise.

You open your mouth to push him for the real answer but Rhodes cuts you off, “Well, I have to get going. It was good seeing you, (Y/L/N), hopefully, we work together soon. Remember what I said, Sam.” With that, he leaves the room to leave you and Sam alone.

The room fills with silence as the two of you turn to the iconic suit and shield in front of you. You try to watch Sam from the corner of your eye but he just stands with his back straight and his eyes forward.

“You know, I’m sure Steve would understand.” You decide to say, clasping your hands in front of you. “I didn’t become as close as you did, but from my time with him during the Blip, he tried his best to help everyone. He had a lot of responsibilities and issues of his own along with having a whole country looking up to him... 

“It was a lot… he opened to me about it one night before… you know.” You admit which makes him finally look at you. “He told me what he was going to do and all I could do is support him… I asked him what he was going to do with the mantle and he said give it to you.” Turning your head, you make eye contact with him. “I asked him if he was sure.”

He lets out a snort at that, shaking his head at you. “Really gotta do me like that?” He wipes his hand across his face then stuffs his hand in his pockets as he turns to face you. “I thought we were having a nice bonding moment and then you had to drop me like that?”

You can’t help the giggle that escapes your lips at his whining. “I’m being serious, Sam, stop.” You hit him on the shoulder. “He said there was no doubt in his mind that you do what needed to be done with the shield. He trusted you and your judgment, Falcon.” You emphasize his hero name which he just rolls his eyes at you.

“Yea, I’m sure he did.” He smiles and then changes the subject, “How’s parole treatin’ ya, still got the collar on?” He gestures to your ankle causing you to lift your dress pant leg, flashing the electric bracelet around your ankle. He lets out a hearty chuckle at it. “Still can’t believe that they have you on a leash.”

“Price you gotta pay for freedom.” You shrug and drop the cloth. There’s a beat of silence between the two of you, both of you taking a glance back at the exhibit and the shield.

“Have you talked with Bucky recently?”

“No, I was going to ask you.” Your heart sinks at the realization. “We’ve been texting a bit but I haven’t seen him since I spent the weekend with him a couple of weeks ago.” You shyly admit and look down at your feet.

“Weekend, huh?”

“Shut it, Sam.” You knock your foot against his. “We didn’t do anything, he doesn’t like me like that. Plus, he wouldn’t even let me spend the night. I had to go to a hotel, he sleeps on the floor, Sam! I’m worried about him.” It took weeks for you to convince him to let you come over and you finally knew why when you step into his apartment. It made your heart sink, it looked like if a Hydra cell got a remodel. “He has two chairs and a tv.”

“Living modestly I see.” He snorts out, covering up whatever he was actually thinking. It’s now your turn to roll your eyes at him, frustrated that he isn’t willing to talk about this. “Hey, he’s still figuring stuff out, okay? He just got all his memories back and he’s still working on living with his past. You should know better than I do to give him time.” His tone is soft as he lightly scolds you. You hang your head at his words, knowing he’s right.

It took some time for you to come to terms with your past when you turned yourself in after Hydra and SHIELD fell. You took accountability for your actions during your years at Hydra and spent a few years in jail before Steve took action to help you get on parole. That didn’t mean you weren’t fully recovered.

“When are you joining me on the field, anyway?” Sam changes the topic noticing how you went silent and your eyes looked past him. “I could use you on some of my recon missions.” 

A large smile forms on your face at the mention of your parole. “A couple more check-ins and I’m good, I think.” You excitedly inform, “They actually want to talk to me about something, and then it’s the last three months. Saving the world made my good behavior skyrocket.”

“I’m sure it did.” He smiles, “Well, let me know what happens. I’m heading down to Louisiana soon and my sisters want to meet you. She heard about your work with the soup kitchens in New York and she wanted some insight.”

“Really? Give her my number, you know I’d be happy to talk with her. I’ve been thinking about trying to get my officer to convince the big guys to expand my tracking radar so I reach out more.” You start to ramble about the ideas you’ve been having for more community service actions. During the blip, Steve got you into volunteer work and it sparked something inside of you. He said it might give you a new purpose and he couldn’t have been more right.

The two of you spend the rest of the day together, catching up on everything that’s been going on. You didn’t realize how much you missed his snarky comments and banter until he smothered you in it, “making up for lost time”, he said. He continues the bullying by texting back and forth for the next few days.

It was nice to have a friend after everything that happened over the last few years. Steve and Nat were gone so the friendships you built up during the blip were just a memory now. Yea, Bucky and you were friends but it was a bit more complicated than that.

It’s a few weeks after that and they’ve already named some prick the new Captain America. You were frustrated at Sam but you realized that he couldn’t have known that this was going to happen. Especially since when you reached out to him and he was more furious than you were. Bucky was a whole other story. When the press conference aired, he immediately called you and went off about Sam. You couldn’t offer answers so you just told him to talk to him about it. This didn’t involve you.

Now, you were sat at some random government office in DC. You were beyond nervous, leg bouncing and fingers tapping. Kevin, your sweet parole officer, had called you in for an emergency meeting. He didn’t mention anything about the content of it but he assured you not to worry. It didn’t help, though, your mind was scrambling trying to think of anything you could’ve done to break your parole or anywhere you could’ve gone that went outside your tracking radar.

“(Y/L/N)?” The familiar voice echoes through the lobby makes your head snap up. Kevin, your knight in a cashmere sweater, stands there with his hands in his pants pockets. He nods his head, gesturing for you to follow him.

He leads you down a long hallway, stopping at the end of it and holding the door open for you. You send him a grateful smile before entering the office. It was very different from his usual office. The tall windows lined the wall from floor to ceiling, making the already large room feel even more spacious. It was a bit unsettling compared to his close-knit office space located in an old house on the outskirts of DC.

Kevin moves you two to the large conference table on the other side of the room, having you sit before he does. He takes the chair at the head of the table, sighing as he opens the folder and takes a few papers out.

“Sign these.” He slides them over to you but you furrow your eyebrows in response.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re being released.” He announces, leaning back in his chair with a tight-lipped smile on his face. Your jaw drops and your heart picks up but you can’t help but question it. You quickly compose yourself and look down at the papers.

“Isn’t it a bit too early?” You ask while briefly scanning the papers. “I still have two months left, not that I’m not grateful but where is this coming from?” This was happening too suddenly, Kevin was good with warning you about the activities that go on behind the scenes of your parole and he didn’t even mention the thought of an early release.

The brunette man lets out a sigh, running his hair through his long hair. He then leans his elbows on the table with his head propped up on his palms, he opens his mouth to answer but is cut off by the office door opening.

The new Captain America and his sidekick come waltzing in, a few of his goons following as well. He didn’t need the uniform or shield for you to recognize him since his face has been plastered on every channel since they came forward with him. He’s all everyone could talk about.

“He released you.” You barely hear Kevin as your mind goes into spirals. What the hell did this guy want? Why is he even here? What the hell did he want with you?

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (6/?)

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Word Count: 2.1k words

Bucky couldn't recall the last time he had a genuine conversation with someone who wasn't his best mates, Sam and Steve. He enjoyed your company and as much as he hated to let his guard down, he wanted to do just that with you. You were everything that Bucky thought he would find repulsive, but he couldn’t help but be attracted towards you. And for the first time he wanted more, he didn't want a one-night stand or a fling with you, he wanted to know you. He admired your courage and bravery, but mostly he admired you. You, with all your stupid yet funny jokes and spontaneity; he liked you more than he would like to admit.

But there was this thing that you were his employee and one meal doesn't count as a date. It was just a meal. But yet, Bucky wanted it to be more. He had never been so intrigued by another person, but it was also clear that you didn't reciprocate his interest. And Bucky would have all of his 206 bones crushed out rather than giving his heart to someone only for it to be not requited. 

So, when you walked into the club the next day, pretending as if nothing had changed, Bucky knew where your relationship lay with him, and he was content with it. Okay, he wasn't content with it, but he knew he couldn't force something that wasn't there. He would choose to be in your life as your boss, acquaintance, or maybe even a friend if he's lucky enough than to not be in your life at all. 

***

When you got settled behind the counter, your mood wasn't that great. It could be because you weren't drunk this time, or maybe because you enjoyed your meal with your boss a little too much for your liking. You wouldn't call it a date, but it sure as hell was a lot better than all the dates or meals you've had with people.

Your good mood was definitely not because of the fact that your mother called only to inform you that this family friend's son is not going to wait around long, and you should at least find a stable job if you can't find a suitable boyfriend. Then she started boasting about your sister and her amazing profession and how she and her husband save lives every day. And you might have had enough of her bullshit and lied that you indeed have a stable job and relationship. None of which is true. 

Bartending only pays the bills, and you haven't had a relationship in years and none of them were serious. You always ran away from any sort of commitment because you knew you would eventually have to introduce your partner to your family and nobody deserves to see that circus, and you told yourself that you're doing a favor to those previous partners by leaving them or as your friends like to call ghosting them. In your defense, dealing with you and your family is more horrific than any scary movie. 

Well, until now because tomorrow your sister and her family are coming to meet your partner and take you back to your parents' place for the weekend. The only problem is that you lied to them about your job and your partner. The worst part is that both of them are pretty non-existent.

"Hey, How are you feeling? " Peter asked you, noticing how you still weren't paying attention to the customer in front of you. 

“Great, not drunk, if that's what you're wondering.” 

“I'm fine," you retorted, glancing at the concerned look Peter was giving you. You quickly took the customer's order and proceeded to make the drink. 

"The last time you said you were fine, you threatened to kill a dude," Pietro interjected, enjoying the faux disbelief that landed on your face. You looked over to Wanda for help, but she just chuckled at her brother's antics.

The rest of the night at work went by as it usually did. Pietro making a sarcastic remark here and there, Wanda countering her brother with a snarky response, you were laughing your ass off watching the duo and Peter awkwardly tried to suppress his amusement. In a weird custom, these three coworkers were the only thing that felt normal. 

By the time you were done, it was mostly you left like always, with the addition of security guards that James added since Rumlow. You wanted to talk to him, especially after the wonderful not date you had, but the situation with him was not under your control anymore and it released from your grasp which scared the shit out of you. If James and you had met under different circumstances, then you would have tried to date him, but with him being your boss and the whole Rumlow thing made everything so complicated, and you didn't have time for any sort of relationship complication in your life. At least that's what you kept telling yourself.

When you were done with your shift and were about to leave, a very familiar voice called for you. You've been trying to ignore him all day and just when you thought you've succeeded, he catches up to you. 

The thing that scared you with James was that you felt safe, too safe with him. You were scared that you were going to become dependent on him for your security, and you hated that. You always despised women who weren't anything except their husband's wife, as if their whole identity was being a man's property. Furthermore, you knew the only thing to be blamed here was patriarchy and men, but you decided that you weren't going to be someone's property, you were going to be your own person. 

And you rebelled a lot to reach here, dyed your hair blue just because your mom told you not to, pursued your dream just because your dad told you to follow a secure nine to four job, left ex-partners because they told you what to and what not to wear. And some part of you knew that James wasn't like that. He wouldn't exploit you and your weaknesses. 

But what you didn't realize was that these were merely excuses that your brain mustered up because you were too scared to be dumped. A long time ago, you decided that it is better to leave than be left. And James — well, James made you feel things that you didn't want to chase. You feared commitment and abandonment too much to go after a guy. 

Your thoughts were brought to a halt when he held your wrist gently and called your name again. Reluctantly, you turned around, pretending to be surprised as if you didn't see him. 

He obviously caught on to you. "Why are you ignoring me?" 

"What?" You scoffed in feign disbelief, taking your hand away from his grasp and setting it on his shoulder. "Why would I ignore you, bud?"

Bud? What the fuck? , both of you thought at the same time.

Carefully, he eyed your hand and then you, "Okay, come on, I'll drop you home."

"No, James, it's fine, I can go on my own." 

"Yes, yes, you are an independent, strong woman but come on," He teased, but you didn't seem to pick up the glint of mischief in his eyes. 

You heard that as a taunt, a taunt your father has told you an ample number of times, that you indeed can never be anything on your own if you don't have a man beside you. While you were lost in your thoughts, James was moving towards his car, assuming that you were following him.

 "But I am," you argued. 

Your voice sounded distant to him, he turned around and walked towards you. "You are what?" 

"I am strong and independent."

"Yes, you are," he agreed as a matter of factly because it was the truth. He had never met someone so strong who would leave behind their whole life to pursue their dreams. He, being the mob boss, and filthy rich couldn't do the same, and he may not tell you this, but he admired you so much. 

Once you got the assurance you needed, you started walking towards his car. "Are you coming or not?" and he followed you. 

Of course, you knew you were strong, but your life had not been going as smoothly as you anticipated. You're stuck in writer's block, your family interference and lack of trust in you hurts like a bitch. You were somewhat crushing on your boss, and you blurted random embarrassing stuff in front of him without thinking. You know, normal crush things. 

When you reached the apartment, he insisted on dropping you to your floor. The car ride was spent in peaceful silence, but the time spent in the elevator was everything but that. No, the fifteen seconds were spent in James fidgeting beside you because he wanted to say something but didn't know how to. 

After you unlocked your door, he finally spoke up. "Um, I was just wondering whether, you know, - I had fun last night and I don't have smooth conversations with people - um, I don't know, I'd like to go out with you again," he didn't finish, but your eyebrows shot up to your forehead and he quickly backpedaled. " Not as a date, if that's what you want. It could be a meal shared between you and your boss. Not that I'm implying that you are obligated to go with me just because I'm your boss. I'm asking this as a stranger, well, not as a stranger but as a friend, I think."

"James,” you spoke softly, and he could feel the denial coming his way.” I had fun too, but you're my boss. This is highly unprofessional."

He signed in defeat and looked at you one last time. There was so much he wanted to say, he wanted to tell you that he enjoyed your company more than he should. He wanted to tell you that he liked you. He wanted to tell you that he wanted to see where this thing would lead with you, but he knew better than that. At the end of the day, you were his employee and if you were to get involved with him in any form, it would only end in your tarnished reputation. So, he nodded, not trusting himself enough to speak much after the clear rejection. "I understand."

"Y/N! “

Both of you turned towards the source of the voice and frowned. He frowned because he was confused, whereas you, oh, you weren't confused, you were furious at the person standing there and at yourself for forgetting about their arrival.

 "Hi, Carol. I thought you were coming tomorrow," you stated, faking a smile, and everyone in the area could see your distressed attempt at looking excited.

 Well, everyone except your sister because she shrieked with happiness and ran towards you to throw her arms around you. Her husband followed behind and gave you and James an awkward smile.

 "I just couldn't wait to meet my baby sister and we'll take you guys back for the weekend."

You guys, James and you thought at the same time. James looked at the side of your face for an explanation, and you kept looking forward at your sister, avoiding his gaze.

Fuck, you forgot about that. How can you forget about that? You mentally cursed yourself and didn't say anything because you didn't know what to do. 

Your sister picked your silence as her cue to talk and pointed her index finger at James, who was standing beside you now. "Is this him?"

Your sister looked at you, expecting an answer, your brother-in-law looked at you with something called, please hurry up, I just want to go back to the hotel. James looked at you with bewilderment. 

You sighed and took your boss's hand in yours, who also happens to be the most dangerous person in the town. He complied, holding on to you tightly, running his thumb on the back of your hand in a soothing manner. It felt like the most obvious thing as if your hand was made to be held by him. The thought sent a pleasant shiver down your spine, but you were too stubborn to accept it.

"Yes," you finalized. "This is James, my boyfriend."

TAGS: @bananapipedreams @akkinda10 @rivers-rambles21 @emmabarnes @goodcleanfunsis @valsworldofcreativity @boofy1998 @marvel-3407​ @priii​

[dameronology]

questioning {natasha romanoff x wlw reader}

summary: natasha had always been able to appreciate women. once she meets you, it becomes clear why {for @stephanieromanoff​ - for some reason i can’t answer your ask but i hope u enjoy this}

warnings; probably swearing?? and mentions of the usual mcu canon typical violence

this is actually my first natasha imagine on this blog which is...wild. because - and i’m sure many people relate - she was my bisexual awakening and i still would let her top me. enjoyy!

-jazz

Sexuality was fluid - Natasha knew that.

She’d just never considered her sexuality to be fluid.

It was funny, really. Natasha had witnessed many forms of beauty in her time as a SHIELD agent; beautiful men, beautiful women, beautiful people. She could appreciate a good-looking human when she saw one but it never extended beyond admiration. Most of her Red Room training had been centred around seducing men. Her friends had always set her up with men. It wasn’t so much that she’d rejected the idea of anything other than heterosexuality but she’d always just kind of...assumed. 

Besides, it wasn’t like Natasha’d ever even been in a position where she’d been close enough to a woman (or anyone, for that matter) to ever consider them in a romantic way. Her job didn’t allow for it - not unless the person she was with was also in her line of work. And, with all due respect to her colleagues, she knew them far, far too well to ever consider the notion of dating one of them. 

Life has a funny way of working out though, doesn’t it? 

You were dropped into Natasha’s lap when she least expected it. It was a cold, rainy Monday afternoon and she was in the staff room at the Compound with Steve. They were sat in comfortable silence, scrolling through their phones. The peace was disrupted by the sound of a crash, followed by a string of curse words.

‘What the...’ Steve stood up, approaching the hallway outside. 

That was the first Nat saw you: with coffee halt spilt down yourself, your bag strewn across the floor and cheeks bright red. It was quite on brand, really. 

‘I am so sorry!’ You dropped to your knees, quickly scrambling to pick the papers up. ‘I was too busy trying to find my office and I went straight into the door frame.’

The first thing Natasha noted was that you were pretty. Not pretty like the girls she’d seen in windows in Amsterdam, or pretty like the slender models she’d seen in London. You were...sparky. Talkative, and bright. There was an energy about you that she was yet to see in anyone else.

You were terrifying too. Not a single person at SHIELD had witnessed someone telling a dad joke whilst throttling a man twice their size, but there was a first time for everything. 

At first, Natasha was convinced that her feelings towards you were simply admiration...for a friend. Because you were friends, right? It was hard not to become close to someone when you spent every second of every day with them. She never thought much of it, though - you were also close with Steve, Sam, Wanda and Bucky. Nothing about your relationship with Nat was different from your others. 

There were a few notable exceptions on her part. She could tolerate you more than anyone else - and that was just the way she worded it in her head, to convince herself that it didn’t mean anything. In actuality, she found herself seeking you out, trying to spend to time with you. She’d do paperwork in your office until the small hours of the morning, and she’d bring you coffee when you both returned to work a few hours later. Natasha had never had a best friend before and it felt good.

‘Do you ever think about relationships in our line of work?’

You looked up from your paperwork, glancing over at Nat. She was sat across from you at your desk, the dim glow of your spotlight illuminating her face. It wasn’t unusual for her to bring up deep subjects when it was late (in this, case it was 1AM). You ponded for a moment, tapping your pen against the edge of your desk. 

‘Sometimes.’ You said. ‘I mean...I wasn’t an Avenger until five months ago, give or take. If I did get into one now, I imagine it would be much more complicated than when I was normal.’

‘You are normal.’ Nat reached across the desk to whack your shoulder, smiling to herself. ‘At least by Avenger standards.’

You chuckled. ‘Honestly, I barely have time to think about relationships now, let alone get into one. My ex-girlfriend asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee and the earliest date I could do was in four months.’

That was the first time Natasha realised that whatever chemistry and easiness was between you, it could have been something more than friends. The sound of the word girlfriend coming out your mouth? It...well, it made her mind go places. No-where drastic, or revealing. It just made her think; the idea of you casually referring to her as your girlfriend in conversation gave her butterflies.

And Natasha Romanoff did not get butterflies. At least not until now. Not until you.

‘How did you know that you liked girls?’ She asked. It was a casual question - one you’d been asked plenty of times.

‘I just knew.’ You shrugged. ‘It’s not the same for everyone, though. Sometimes it takes meeting the right person.’

That was the statement that got Natasha thinking. She’d never even considered the idea of liking girls, not until you’d come along. 

She couldn’t help but let herself day dream - it was a guilty please, in a sense. What would life be like if you were together? What would it be like to call you her girlfriend? To live with you? Natasha was so vehemently against the idea of domesticity...but with you? Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. She didn’t even realise how (for lack of a better word) gay her thoughts were. And when she did? It hit her like a train. 

Natasha had dealt with a lot in her life - aliens, nazis, gods, genocidal robots, evil super spies. It made the situation seem so mundane; she’d become so exceptionally aware of her mortality that things like questioning her sexuality or pondering on her attraction for her best friend just seemed like a waste of time. She’d always been fearless, after all. It had kind of been forced into her nature at the Red Room, and even more so after becoming an Avenger.

It was during another late night conversation that Nat realised her feelings might have been deeper than she realised. She knew that she liked you in a way that ran far deeper than just being best friends; it was just the extent that she was unsure of, and she didn’t want to make a move until she understood it properly. It was like being on a mission really: do some recon, get a better gauge of what’s going on and make a move. 

She hadn’t expected it - it had been nine words. One completely casual sentence. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a conversation. 

‘I saw a TikTok that reminded me of you.’

It was in that moment that Natasha realised, whilst staring at you across your desk with wide-eyes, that she was in love with you. It was a brand new (and not entirely surprising) discovery but it didn’t feel like a shock. The feelings had always been there - it was just the sudden comprehension of them that came as a revelation.

It didn’t have to be complicated. Missions to Russia to take out HYDRA bases were complicated. Teaching Steve and Bucky how to use an iPhone was complicated. This was....well, it was simple, wasn’t it? She loved you. And maybe, just maybe, you loved her too.

Aside from the fact you were just friends, you might as well have been a couple already. You ordered take out together every night and ate it together on the sofa. You drove to work together, and you had a thousand and one inside jokes. The foundations were there but neither of you had ever been all that good at architecture. 

‘It reminded you of me?’ Natasha quickly regained her posture, offering you her signature smirk. ‘I didn’t realise you thought of me outside of work.’

‘Nat.’ You snorted. ‘We hang out after work every night.’

‘I know, I just...’ She trailed off. 

‘You just what?’

‘We should get dinner tonight.’ Nat cleared her throat.

‘Wasn’t that the plan?’ You raised an eyebrow at her. 

‘No, I mean...dinner.’ She sat up a little straighter (ironic). ‘Like a date.’

‘Are you asking me out?’

‘Yeah. Why?’

‘I...’ it was your turn to be a little speechless. ‘Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.’ 

[coffeeinallcaps]

Why did you give up that shield, Bucky asked, and Sam can’t stop thinking about it. The words keep echoing around his mind, bouncing from one side of his skull to the other with a metallic clang. Closing his eyes doesn’t make the headache go away.

It’s late when he gets home, empty and sore and tired, a different kind of tired—a kind of tired he hasn’t felt in a long time. He doesn’t take off his shoes, just sinks down on the couch, and the shield is sitting right there, in the pit of his stomach, at the back of his throat.

He’s so tired he can’t sleep. His thoughts have spiraled, mutated. They’ve begun to take on his mother’s voice, his father’s voice. Sarah’s, strained with hurt and betrayal. The banker, the cop. Isaiah. Steve, saying, “Maybe I was wrong about you,” and fuck, maybe they’re right right after all.

Maybe Sam is just a man who straps wings to his back and lets them fool him into thinking he can fly.

--

In the kitchen, he downs a glass of cold water. The countertop is a cool and solid weight against the small of his back.

you up? he texts Bucky, because they’re talking again, and he might as well.

Bucky replies almost instantly. Yeah.

Nothing else. Sam can’t help but grin at his screen.

curled into a fetal position on your living room floor?

His phone buzzes with a call.

“Out for an evening walk, actually,” Bucky says, “and I told you that in confidence, asshat.”

“It’s 3 AM,” Sam says. “What the hell, Bucky.”

“It’s nice out,” Bucky says, unbothered. “Quiet. You should join me. I’m in the neighborhood. I could come pick you up. Give me ten minutes.”

“You’re so weird,” Sam says, and then, because he’s tired, and the shield has been bouncing around his head for hours, “no wonder Steve didn’t think to give it to you.”

“You shouldn’t have left it in a glass cage in a museum,” Bucky says without missing a beat, like he’s been thinking about it, too. “Should’ve buried it in an anvil on top of a stone in New Mexico. If he be worthy and all that jazz.”

Sam closes his eyes. “You’re mixing references.”

“Whatever. Point is, Off-Brand Cap would never have been able to pull it out. Fuck, I should’ve punched him in his ugly—”

“What makes you think I would?”

He doesn’t know if he means it, definitely doesn’t mean to say it, not really, and definitely not to Bucky, of all people, but there it is, and he can’t take it back.

“You’re kidding, right?” Bucky says after a pause, and Sam is tired, so tired.

“Enjoy your walk, Buck,” he says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He doesn’t wait for Bucky to reply before hanging up. His ears ring in the silence that follows.

--

He has no idea how long he has been standing there, phone in hand, staring into the darkness, when a loud pounding on the front door startles him from his thoughts.

Of course Bucky fucking Barnes can’t ring the doorbell like a normal person.

“Listen,” Bucky says when Sam opens the door, “I shouldn’t have said what I said. About Steve, and the shield.”

His eyes are soft and earnest in the glow of the porch light, his cheeks flushed with cold.

“It’s fine,” Sam says, even though it isn’t.

“It isn’t,” Bucky says. “I had no right to make that about me. I was projecting, and I was wrong, and I hurt you, and I’m sorry.”

His jaw is set in a way that achingly reminds Sam of Steve.

“I appreciate your apology,” Sam says.

“You are worthy, Sam,” Bucky says, almost angrily, like he’s trying to picking a fight. He takes a step toward Sam. “You know that, right? Steve was not wrong about you, and you are so worthy.”

Sam can’t deny it—he feels a warm pang in his chest at those words, worthy. You are worthy. “But that’s not what this is about,” he says, “if you think that’s what this is about, you haven’t been paying attention,” because it’s not just about him, that’s the whole point, maybe it’s not even about him at all, it’s infinitely more complicated than that and it’s about so much more, and there’s so much more he could say but he doesn’t feel like saying it because it’s well past 3 AM and he’s so fucking tired, and Bucky is standing closer now, still looking at him with soft and earnest eyes, and.

“Look,” Sam says, “I’m beat. You can crash on the couch if you—”

“Wait,” Bucky says, reaching for Sam’s forearm. A light touch, gloved fingers brushing against bare skin. Sam shivers. “Shit. This isn’t… I had this all figured out, you know. I was gonna say something deep like, ‘I can’t convince you that you’re worthy, but I sure as hell can try,’ and then I was gonna shove you up against the wall and kiss you.”

“That’s,” Sam says. “That’s a lot. And kind of confusing.” He doesn’t pull his arm away. He can feel his heart beating against his ribs.

“Yeah, well,” Bucky says, rubbing the back of his neck, like he does. “It was the best I could come up with on short notice. And you can’t convince me that you didn’t feel something between us today.”

“Oh, I felt it,” Sam says. He puts a hand on Bucky’s hip. Squeezes it, just a little. “I felt it, all right.”

Bucky’s breath is warm against his skin. “Was it the rolling-in-the-field moment or the soul-gazing-thighs-touching moment for you?”

“Both, I think,” Sam says. “You?”

“The can-you-move-your-seat-up moment, probably,” Bucky says, cradling Sam’s face between his gloved hands, and when they kiss it’s gentler than Sam thought it would be, easier, better.

[ackasamii--archive]

just as he wanted

summary: with love comes sacrifice

pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: angst

note: so this is a repost of my one shot from other blog i impulsively deleted so i hope you enjoy this!!

When was the last time she laughed? A full wholehearted laugh from the core.

Ah, it was in her small New York apartment located in the quiet part of Brooklyn. It was rare to catch a quiet moment in New York, but home was the place Y/n always went. And this time, she brought a friend who was in dire need of it. Someone who carried the world on his shoulders quite often, someone who needed a day or two to relax for once.

With a grin on her face, Y/n handed the last of the dumplings to Steve, who sat comfortably on her worn couch that she had brought at least two or three years ago. The couch had seen better days, the green color was faded, some tears here and there, but she couldn’t find herself to complain. After all, it had many nights of long and thoughtful conversations from five years ago, and she couldn’t bring herself to give that up. If her memory were to vanish at an older age, what else could remind her of the time spent with Captain Steve Rogers?

Steve stared at the two dumplings left and shook his head, “Take them, I’ve had enough of those for one night.” He smiled and let a short chuckle escape his lips, but lately, she’s started to notice how his smile never reached his eyes. Which is why she persisted he have the last of the two dumplings. He looked Y/n in the eyes and assured, “Really, I’m fine.”

Y/n sighed at his stubbornness but let it go as she set the box down on the coffee table and settled down next to him, leaving just enough space between them. She couldn’t help but stare at the man before her with an adoring smile while he was lost in his own wandering thoughts. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

He blinked and turned to stare back at her, “What are you thinking about?”

“I asked first.”

Her heart fluttered once another smile broke out onto his lips. Steve leaned forward, clasping his hands together and sighed. “Honestly…” Y/n scooted closer to hear him better, their shoulders nearly touching. “What my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t been on that plane.”

With a thoughtful look, Y/n shrugged, “A lot different, man. I mean if you weren’t on the plane, I wouldn’t know that one story Bucky told me about you and a trash can lid.”

Steve laughed lightly, his muscles flexing slightly with every movement he made, and then his blue eyes met hers.

“Peggy and I, we…” Steve stopped short, looking down at his hands and hadn’t noticed the frown now on her lips. Or the fact that her heart sank at the mention of his old flame. He looked back at Y/n, who quickly made her frown disappear as he asked, “Have I ever told you about the time we met?”

She shook her head but remained silent, letting him continue. Something ugly within her tickled her heart as he passionately talked about that woman. That woman she would possibly never be able to compete with. Eventually, she had to come to this conclusion one way or another without avoiding it. As the spark in his eyes grew brighter and brighter, she knew that his heart still sat in the palms of that woman’s hands.

It hurt her to no end. It hurt her that she wasn’t good enough for him, it hurt her that he may never see her the same way he saw Peggy Carter. Perhaps she was nothing like her, but at times, she wished she could be. But could she blame the woman? No. It was Y/n that just couldn’t compete or even be compared to such a brilliant and strong woman.

Steve told her time when he first got his shield. And how Peggy shot at him. The scenario was so entertaining, that Y/N couldn’t help but laugh along with him. Laughing at that point in time would’ve been so foreign, but not between the two. It was almost natural, as if they were old friends. Which was exactly what Y/n knew he saw her as.

Now, Y/n had no idea why this memory came to mind. Maybe she needed one semi-happy moment to lift her fallen spirits while cladded in black. It was the black clothes. She wanted to change out of them quickly and that’s what she was about to do right after Tony’s funeral. After paying her respects, Y/n was ready to return back to her small apartment alone and possibly take in everything that has happened.

But no.

She stood stiff in front of the time machine transporter or whatever the hell Banner called it, with Steve on her right. Somehow, she didn’t know how, Y/n had gotten wind that Steve was going to travel back and return all the stones. Alone. Normally, she would protest to such a horrid plan only because she was worried about his safety. But this time, she was in too much shock to even utter one word. She wandered how Bucky or even Sam was okay with this. Or why she wasn’t told about this. Maybe because of this very reason, Y/n would try and stop him, and then it would be her fault that time would be screwed up.

So, that’s why she stood silent and stiff to the side while Steve was giving Bucky a hug as if he won’t be coming back. Y/n hoped Steve wouldn’t be that stupid to try something. Finally, he had turned to her, Y/n tried relaxing her shoulders and sending him an encouraging smile, but he could see right through her façade and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’ll be fine, stop worrying.”

She shrugged with a defeated look on her face, “Can’t help it.” Impulsiveness was strong today. Y/n pulled him into a hug and buried her face into his shoulder. Her hold was tight as if he was disappear in mere seconds. After a few seconds, she finally let him go and mumbled a, “sorry.”

He only chuckled as he walked towards the platform. What if he doesn’t come back, those thoughts kept nagging at the back of her mind and her mouth suddenly became dry as she wondered if this was her chance just to say it. It three words she’s been ready to say ever since he first came over to her apartment. If she tells him before he leaves, maybe he’ll come back, maybe there would be something more than just friends..

Her moment would pass if she didn’t say anything now. She doesn’t hear Banner count down as she nears the platform, blurting, “Steve—”

But she was a second too late.

His figure was nowhere to be seen and Y/n fiddled with her fingers anxiously. ‘No, I will tell him,’ she assures herself, ‘when he comes back I will tell him.’

Y/n closed her eyes and quietly counted down to five along with Banner. Her heart pounded against her chest excitedly as she got to three. Her fingers became shaky and clammy as she reached four.

She opened her eyes at five.

Only, he wasn’t there.

It was like there was no breath in her lungs and her heart had fallen out of her mouth. With wide eyes, she whipped around to face Banner who was frantically looking at the tech set up before him.

“What happened? Where is he?” Her questions came out rushed and frantic while she looked from the platform and to Banner. After receiving no answers from the green giant, her voice became strain as she shouts, “Bruce, where is he?!”

“I don’t know!” Banner said with his eyes still focused on the contraption.

She was too late. The realization dawned on her as she stared at where Steve once stood. What if he was stuck somewhere, please don’t be stuck somewhere. Y/n’s heart was beating so fast, she was pretty sure it could run a marathon right now. Where the hell was he?

In the corner of her eye, her state of panic shifted as she spotted Sam walking away from the scene and Bucky standing further away. She watched the two, wandering why they weren’t showing the appropriate reaction to this situation. But Y/n kept watching, Sam walked past Bucky and towards an occupied bench. She doesn’t remember seeing that bench, overlooking the lake. Was that always there or did she never pay any mind to it before now?

Y/n trudged to Bucky’s side, she studied his face and the scene ahead of her. Sam was speaking to the figure on the bench, the tension soon shifted, and it finally dawned on her. Her mouth hung open as she watched the two. How…? Time travel was quite the complicated topic for her and in this moment she couldn’t understand what the hell had happened.

“Is that…?” She wanted to be sure, but the answer was already settled deep within her.

Bucky only nodded in response, not once his eyes had wavered from the two. From the back, she could definitely feel that it wasn’t the same Steve. Which meant…

He went back for her.

She should’ve realized it sooner and stopped him. But she was too late. Y/n was too late because she was a coward to say anything then and all the other times where she had the opportunity. This was what she got for being so fearful of rejection. Her eyes welled but she willed herself not to cry, she couldn’t and won’t cry. It was her fault for missing her opportunity.

A few minutes pass as Sam comes back with the shield in his hand. But Y/n’s remained on the figure on the bench. Seconds pass and Bucky isn’t by her side anymore, only her, slowly moving towards the bench in curiosity and caution.  Maybe she should’ve prepared herself for what she would find, or maybe she shouldn’t have approached him. No matter, she was already next to the bench looking at an older version of Steve Rogers.

There were always jokes about Steve acting like such an old man. But now, he was right there. Sitting on the wooden bench with a relaxed smile on his face, his blue eyes facing the ocean. After hesitating back and forth with herself, Y/n sat down at the end of the bench to stare at the view with him, only she caught sight of a silver object around one of his fingers. The same ugly thing bubbled within her as she glared at the ring until his hands shifted and she finally looked at him.

Actually looked at him.

Steve was smiling. No, it wasn’t forced. It wasn’t a simple smile. This was his happiness. She could see it in his eyes as they lit up. In all her life, she had never seen someone so at peace and happy. So blissfully happy.

The brutal truth hit her in the face right then and there. She had been selfish. Y/n had wanted Steve to stay and be with her so they could both live a happy life. But that was not what he wanted. He was taken from his time and forced into this new one without having the normal life that he desired and deserved. She wanted him to stay somewhere he wasn’t meant to be. Now she understood the saying, the truth hurts. Maybe she knew the truth already and just denied it.

Y/n knew there was no way of stopping him. Why would she stop him from gaining his happiness? What kind of person would that make her?

“You kids didn’t get into too much trouble, did you?” She teased lightly, trying to smile.

There, his chuckle was throaty but warm. “You’ll never know.”

An amused smile curved onto her lips.

Then she was back. Back on that couch, during that night, next to Steve who had trailed off in his story telling and deep into his sinking thoughts. She noticed how much he did that whenever they talked about either Peggy or the forties. Her envious heart blinked back tears as she looked away from him bitterly, her jaw clenching and unclenching as she glared at the box of dumplings.

Maybe she should eat them.

Only she didn’t make a move for the box, she turned to stare back at his side profile, still in adoration. She couldn’t help herself. But it hurt that he would stare at her the same way.

“Do you still love her?”

His eyes twinkled as he stared back at her. There was no answer but you knew and he knew. It was unspoken, but they knew.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at the older man in content. She sighed and wiped the rogue tear away from her cheek and turned her gaze to the view before them. He doesn’t return her feelings, this was her first love, and she knew now that love meant sacrifice, thanks to Tony. Maybe the best way to love Steve Rogers…

Was to let him go.