#that Bucky is really messed up at this moment from the ending of his relationship with Natasha

[daydreamerdrew]

Winter Soldier (2012) #15

[buckrecs]

ur account is my absolute go to!!! any chance u could rec biker!bucky fics 🥺🥺🥺

Biker!Bucky

masterlist | req masterlist

ONESHOT

Wanted by @jadedvibes

You consider ending things with Bucky after seeing a girl come on to him, but it's not that easy, and you get a hard reminder about who he really wants in the clubhouse bathroom.

Best Friends? Nah. by @wicked-mind

Classic best friends don’t realize feelings for each other until someone points it out.

Business as Usual by @world-of-aus

Not My Babe by @avecra

After a nasty break up to a nearly two year relationship, you find yourself dragged to a bar by your best friend, though a familiar blue-eyed biker makes the best of your crappy situation.

rough around the edges by @wndalovebot

Let Me Love You Old School by @mysecretlittlelibrary

Bucky meets you at a diner and plans to sweep you completely off your feet.

The Bogeyman and Other Monstrosities by @pellucid-constellations

As the local biker club president, Bucky Barnes had a reputation for being tougher than nails and feared by many—he’d never be caught dead at a halloween street fair. Too bad his best girl always got what she wanted.

Waiting Game by @buckychrist

You knew being associated with one of the most notorious and dangerous biker gangs in the city was bad, let alone scandalously dating their kingpin in secret, but you never thought you’d have to face those consequences. Until now.

Home by @all1e23

Bucky runs into his ex at a winter carnival the MC is helping host, but she didn’t come alone.

Whatever It Takes by @sgtjbuccky

Bucky Barnes knows the way to drive you up the wall in frustration, fed up with it, you show him that you know how to play just the same.

deny me by @drewbarymore

In which you feel like Bucky’s ashamed of you.

Drunk, Dumped and Empty by @green-eyeddragonfanfiction

After a nasty breakup, you go out drinking. After an absolute creep hits on you, you’re saved from a concussion by a mysterious, kind man, who reveals himself to be Bucky Barnes. The bar you’re in is a bit suspect, but you never expected him to be head of a biker gang.

yayo by @sergeantxrogers

“I need you safe. I need you here, and I need you safe, and I need, God please, I need you to let me in, baby, just let me in and I promise I’ll make it all better,” his broken voice pleaded through the door.

Drabble by @fandoms-writings

Biker!Bucky x tattooed!reader

hot and cold by @bucksfucks

you & bucky had never gotten along, but when your ex-boyfriend ransom turns up at the same bar you’re at, bucky goes to every length to protect you.

How To Get Away With Murder by @empyreanwritings

Bucky was always good at helping you clean up your messes, which is why he doesn't bat an eye when you show up on his doorstep covered in your abusive boyfriend's blood.

Hush by @buckysknifecollection

Bucky finds a stray kitten but he doesn’t know anything about cats. A friendly librarian helps him out.

little favors by @onceuponastory

Since Bucky saved her from her shitty boss, Y/N hasn’t seen him again. For a while, she gets closer and closer to giving up hope. Until he comes back. And this time, he’s asking for her help.

SERIES

Swallow by @all1e23

Since he was fifteen years old, Bucky Barnes has only been sure of two things; the club should be the most essential thing in his life, and he’d burn it all down for you.

Delicate Edges by @wkemeup

Your family’s beloved flower shop was not the only thing you inherited when your parents passed. Trapped under a mountain of debt to the Hydra club, you bear the cost of your father’s desperate bargain. It’s only in moments when the charming Bucky Barnes walks into your shop that you can forget the cruelty of the biker clubs of this town. But a war is brewing. The border is crumbling. You're trapped in the middle. And Bucky will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

For The Best by @metalbuckaroo

Bucky is tired of waiting for you to realize what you're doing. He does the only thing he can think of to break the cycle.

White Horses by @whitewolfbumble

Kicked out of school and exiling yourself in a town time forgot, one little incident lands the sights of the locally infamous Avengers biker gang square on you. Wild horses run faster and there was no chance to turn back now.

Howlin’ For You by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

When Y/N gets an unreal deal on her first home, she wonders why her neighbor scared away all the other buyers. Despite being cautious, she wonders why the town has given Bucky Barnes a bad name.

Brotherhood & Bullets by @rookthorne

The 107th motorcycle club has been the protector of their collective hometown for many, many years - shouldering all the bloodshed and loss that came with it. Little did you know, you'd become the President's own twisted version of an angel on his shoulder; the tips of your angelic wings tinged red by your own demons.

Stars & Stripes, Studs & Spikes by @buckyismybicycle

The crew has always been tight, but you and Bucky are best of friends. When Bucky sees Brock's mark on you, he nearly loses it and wants to end Brock for good. But, there's something more important - keeping you safe.

call me baby by @cherryrogers

Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker, and when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either — that was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.

Masterlist by @angrythingstarlight

Masterlist by @metalbuckaroo

[navybrat817]

Do Stud and Smartie do a nice Thanksgiving or do they just have a relaxing day?

It would be low-key if they celebrated, nonnie!

So Thankful

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: You share some laughs with Bucky while you cook together.

Word Count: Over 1.1k

Warnings: Puns (so many puns), fluff, being thankful, inner monologue, established relationship, feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: Short and sweet for Stud and Smartie. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

It was Bucky’s idea to start cooking early so you could eat sooner and relax later. You were more than okay with that. While today reminded you of the blessings to count and memories to cherish, neither of you wanted to go overboard. A nice, simple meal to show that two of you were thankful for the good things in your life and each other was more than enough.

No traveling. No stress. Just each other.

I’ll always be thankful for you, Stud.

You glanced over at Bucky as he checked on the food in the oven before you went back to your task at hand. The kitchen was a safe haven in your apartment and making meals together was something you looked forward to no matter what the occasion. Though the space could be hectic at times with the banging pots and sizzling sounds, it was also an area to relax and have fun with your creations.

The impromptu dance breaks brought an extra layer of warmth in between cooking.

Bucky looked over your shoulder as he came up behind you with a small hum. “Looks good,” he commented as you added a pinch of spice to one of the side dishes.

You angled your head to brush your lips along his jaw and took a moment to breathe him in. He wrapped an arm around your waist in return and he pulled you close. “You look even better.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” you smiled.

“I'm a mess,” he mumbled, giving your jaw a kiss. “Don't even have a shirt on.”

“And I'm thankful for that,” you sighed dreamily. He said earlier that he’d put a shirt on once you finished cooking, but you would've been happy if he stayed in his sinfully sexy gray sweatpants only. “So, so thankful.”

“I don't think our families would appreciate me video chatting with them without my shirt on,” he joked.

You snorted as you tried to picture the look on your mom and dad’s faces. As much as you missed not seeing them today, the video chat would help. If Bucky really didn't wear a shirt, they would make light of it.

And nothing would top the hickey discussion, your cheeks hot from the memory alone.

“Becca would never let you hear the end of that,” you said, leaning back against him. “And you may have to put a shirt on, but you'll have to eventually get out of those pants.”

He chuckled deeply, your eyes fluttering shut when his mouth touched your ear. “Will you help me with that?”

“You know I will,” you replied, smiling to yourself. “And I hope this dinner won’t be the only thing filling me up tonight.”

Bucky pulled away from your ear before he burst out laughing, the happy sound reverberating in the room as his chest moved against your back. It was like he was sharing his laughter with you. “Well, I’d love to stuff your turkey,” he said once he caught his breath.

“Yeah?” You smirked, turning in his arms to face him. “You wanna butter my biscuits?”

What’s a day like this without puns?

His eyes crinkled like he was going to laugh again. “Oh, yeah. I’ll butter your biscuits real good,” he rasped. It wasn't fair that his puns sounded sexy while yours sounded ridiculous. “Maybe I'll candy your yams, too.”

“Oh, my God,” you giggled when he pushed his body against yours and pressed your back into the counter.

“I’m not God. I'm just Bucky,” he grinned, leaning in close enough that his lips touched yours. “But maybe I can show you my meat thermometer and you can drop to your knees like you’ll pray for me to put it in your mouth.”

I mean, yes.

“Okay, seriously. What the hell have you done with my Stud?” You demanded, trying to shove him back even as heat shot through your body. Your beefy man didn't even have the gall to budge.

“Just let me check your temperature,” he pleaded with an innocent stare, a great contrast to what he was offering. “Make sure you’re hot and ready.”

“How did you say that with a straight face? How?!”

“This is me. This is who you're marrying,” he said proudly, your cheeks warm at the reminder that the gorgeous man in your personal space was going to be your husband. The heat rose more when his gaze swept over your body. “And I can't decide what I want first. Thighs or breasts. Both are juicy and delicious.”

You sharply inhaled as his eyes darkened a shade. “I don't know if I want you to stop or continue, but I’m telling everyone at Friendsgiving this weekend what you said.”

He tilted his head as if he was contemplating the options. “I think you want me to continue, especially since the turkey isn't the only thing that needs basting.”

I’ve created a monster.

You giggled all over again, your side almost aching. “St-Stop,” you wheezed.

He framed your face and kissed the tip of your nose, his touch almost drawing a whimper from you as you calmed down. “I'm sorry,” he said sincerely before he smirked again. “Why don't I give you something to gobble on until we eat? It might help.”

I must stop this man.

“You think you’re so ‘punny’,” you said, resting your hands over his. And he was. He would always find a way to make you laugh.

The charming smile he gave you was almost hot enough to melt your panties. “I like to think I'm adorkable.”

Yes. Yes, you are.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “This is what I have to look forward to, huh? A lifetime of this?”

Bucky’s eyes went soft before he closed them, pulling you in for a deep kiss. He kissed you like it was as easy as breathing, open, steady, and natural. It was like the floor beneath your feet vanished. You floated, but his lips and tongue tethered you to him. It reminded you how loved you were.

And you would always be thankful that he gave you that gift.

“As long as you're by my side, it’ll be the best life I live,” he whispered, giving you another soft kiss. “And I’m very much looking forward to it.”

You had to swallow the tears in your throat. Who wouldn't choke up at that? “I’m looking forward to it, too,” you whispered, your heart racing at the fond look in his eyes. “And Stud?”

“Yeah, Smartie?”

You smiled, having to get one last pun in. “You’re welcome to mash my potatoes anytime.”

Oh, these two. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[the-wrong-providence]

To Date a Criminal

Bucky Barnes X Celebrity!F!Reader

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: Angst | Talk of ending relationships | Asshole Interviewers | Language | Brief mentions of sexism | Fluff? 

Summary: Bucky’s history is a problem to some of Y/N’s fans

Author’s note: This is more angsty than I originally intended, but life is a shitty mess so there’s no point sugar coating it lmao. Unedited. Didn’t know what to call it, so this is what I landed with.

"A-list celebrity Y/N Y/L/N is speculated to be romantically involved with ex-assassin James Barnes, the Winter Soldier. A lot of people believe that Barnes should be convicted of the numerous murders that he committed over the course of the Cold War, but Y/L/N seems to have no issue flaunting her criminal boyfriend on every platform she has a voice. The 108-year-old man was once a close friend to Capt-" Sam turned the TV off. Bucky stared at the blank screen for a little longer, before swallowing heavily and looking down. Sam wanted to say something but struggled to find the words.

Bucky sighed. "This is fucked," he said after a moment. He appeared to be fairly calm about it, before he slammed his fist down on the table, leaving a small dent in the wood. "What the fuck?" He shouted out, as Sam crossed his arms.

"Buck, you know better than to listen to that shit," he said. Bucky turned to him, shaking his head.

"It's not about me listening to them." He started. "Y/N is being attacked. Even if she doesn't agree, her entire reputation is at stake, for dating me. They're calling me a murderer for fucks sake." Bucky ran his hand through his hair. Sam sighed. Of course, he didn't care what people thought about him. He'd been receiving death threats and insults daily since returning from Wakanda, he was used to it. "She has every reason to leave me. She'd be an idiot not to." He mumbled, turning away from Sam.

Sam sighed. He couldn’t argue with that. But something he’d come to realise is that both Bucky and Y/N were complete dumbasses when together. “Just, talk to her, man,” He replied, leaving Bucky to stew by himself.

*

He sipped his drink slowly, hearing the door slam close and a loud sigh. “You wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve had to deal with today,” She said, throwing her coat onto the back of a dining chair. She bent over the sofa and pressed a kiss against his cheek. “The guy who was interviewing us made some sexist comments before we even began, so we just knew it was going to be a long session,” She kicked off her shoes and sat on the sofa beside him. “It was really tempting to just walk out on multiple occasions, but apparently I needed a better reason,” 

Bucky grinned quickly, before placing his glass on the coffee table. "Baby, we need to talk," He began. Y/N looked at him and her eyes narrowed in confusion. She couldn’t read his expression at all. Her face fell when she realised that his smile had disappeared. 

"What about?" She asked cautiously. Her heart sped up.

Bucky took a deep breath. "You need to break up with me," he said. 

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at him. Everything was going well. She really liked Bucky and she thought he felt the same for her. "I don't understand. I don't want to." She said.

"And I don't want to either. But people are calling me a murderer." Bucky looked at her finally, and she could see the sadness in his eyes. She let out a deep exhale, relieved that she’d not done anything to upset him.

It took her a moment to think her way around his comment. "But you're not a murderer, and I don’t care what people say," She replied, crossing her arms across her chest.

Bucky smiled softly. Y/N was brazen, just one of the many things he liked about her. “Sweetheart,” He started, “I’m not worth ending your career over,”

She bit the inside of her cheek and turned away. Whilst she held the belief that he very much was worth it, she didn’t want to admit that now. Not if things were going to end. “Do you want this to end?” She asked. He was fairly insistent.

Bucky seemed taken aback. “No, god no, you have no idea how much I don’t want this to happen. But you have to do the smart thing here. You can’t stay with me,”

“I don’t care. I’m not ending this.” She said indignantly.

Bucky rubbed his forehead. Fuck, he loved her stubbornness sometimes, but it was not helping right now. “Your reputation-”

“I’m not worried about my stupid reputation! I couldn’t give less of a shit about it!” She shouted back and Bucky stared at her. She exhaled heavily and furrowed her eyebrows. “The only thing I’m worried about is you, Buck,”

Bucky clenched his jaw and turned away. “Well, that’s really not convenient. Because I worry about you and the way people treat you and the way everyone sees you. And you not giving a shit about that sort of thing really makes my job a lot harder,” He replied, and Y/N smiled. 

She pulled his face back in her direction, and her hand fell to rest on his chest. Pressing a kiss to his lips. “I’d leave everything behind to stop you from worrying,” She admitted and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“You’re crazy if you think I’d let you,” He raised his eyebrows, but grinned, all the same, leaning in to kiss her again.

She pouted at him. “I’m starting to think that you want me to be famous more than I care for it,” She joked.

“Not famous. Successful. I want you to do well, and I like seeing you get the recognition you deserve. I need people to love you as much as I… love you,” He paused at the last words, and looked down, hoping she didn’t notice.

But of course, she did. She’d been waiting to hear those words for weeks now. She stared at him, noticing the slight pink tinge that was creeping up his neck. “Buck,” She began. “I love you too,”

He looked up at her, searching for any hint of a lie. It had been a while since someone had said those words to him and meant it. As if she could tell, she took hold of his wrist and directed his hand to feel her heartbeat. “I love you,” She said again, smiling at him. 

“And if you still think we should break up, then you’re the crazy one. Especially after that super romantic admission of your love for me,” she stated, grinning at him as his cheeks tinged pink. He looked down, but his small smile was very much evident.

He sighed. “You’re right. As much as I hate to admit it,” He said back, as Y/N giggled. She kissed him again, and Bucky’s hand moved to hold her face, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “I love you,” He murmured in the space between them, their foreheads resting against each other.

*

One of the downsides of being a celebrity was having to maintain a social presence. As a result, Y/N had to attend several red carpets that she had no real investment in. This particular time, Y/N was being interviewed by someone from some media outlet that she was unfamiliar with. The questions had strayed from anything remotely related to the public perception of her boyfriend.

“Bucky is not a murderer,” Y/N scowled at the person interviewing her. Her dating life was noones business at the best of times, but it was entirely inappropriate to discuss this right now.

The interviewer smirked at the rise they were getting. “He was one of the worlds most wanted criminals. He’s credited with at least two dozen high-target assassinations. He’s responsible for the Avengers breaking up back in 2016…”

Y/N stared daggers at the interviewer, and their face fell as they noticed. They stopped talking and swallowed heavily. “Bucky is not a murderer. He was given a pardon which has forgiven him-”

“Implying that there was something to forgive.” The interviewer interrupted “Why do you think it’s ok to date a war criminal?” They added.

Y/N lips parted in surprise. “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this. If people have a problem with who I love then that’s their issue. I do not have to listen to you insult my partner.” She snapped back, before storming off to the bathroom.

On her way there, a hand took hold of her wrist and pulled her away. Looking up, she saw Bucky beaming at her. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart,” He held his arms around her waist. His face fell when he saw her look in her eyes. “What’s happened? Are you ok?” his first instinct was to check her over for any injuries.

Instantly she let her tears fall and leant against him. “Why do people have to be assholes?” She bawled out. Bucky hugged her back, resting his chin on the top of her head. He held her tight, letting her cry into his chest.

“What did they say?” He growled, angry that anyone would have the gall to insult his girl. He looked around to determine whos fault it was. If anyone seemed even remotely guilty for the upset that they’d caused, but everyone seemed fairly content with themselves.

She sniffed quietly. “They were being so rude about you! I had to leave the interview,” She replied, and Bucky seemed taken aback. They’d insulted him and she was distraught.

He held her at arms length and looked at her, lowering his head so that she was staring directly into his eyes. “There are always gonna be assholes in the world, but you walking away from them in that situation helps people realise. You are so incredibly brave for walking outside your door every day when you know what people have said about me. And for that I love you. I worship the ground you walk on. I’m honored to have a place in your heart.” He said sincerely, desperate to calm her down.

“But you have to promise me that you will not give these people a place. Please don’t let them hurt you. Don’t take these shots that are meant for me,” He added, caressing her cheek with his knuckles.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, but seemed to smile. “Buck, I would take actual bullets for you,” She said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Bucky chuckled. “Very unwise. Bullets hurt like hell. And you’d be taking a lot of them,” He bantered back. “But I appreciate the sentiment. I love you sweetheart,” He smiled.

Y/N exhaled heavily, smiling back. “I love you too,” she pressed a kiss to his lips. “Do you wanna come with me?”

He looked at her, confused as to what she meant. “Back onto the carpet? What about the interviews?”

She grinned. “Maybe you can do some staring if they piss me off.” She giggled.

Immediately he seemed excited. “Oh sweetheart, don’t tempt me!”

[firefly-in-darkness]

Make It Right

Pairing → Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary → Bucky Barnes broke your heart, can he fix it? Can he make it right?

Word Count → 1.6k words

Warnings → angst, heartbreak, swearing.

Beta → none.

Prompts/Bingo Cards

AFG Square Fill → “I don’t want you to be with anyone else.” - @anyfandomgoesbingo

AF Angst Square Fill → smudged makeup - @anyfandomangstbingo

Writer's Note → well, this is a little angsty one that's been sat in my drafts for a while… hope you enjoy! ✨

“I hate you,” you slurred down the phone, “I wish I'd never met you!”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words but he couldn't do anything about them, he hated himself for the pain he was causing you. He realised long ago that you weren't just friends with benefits. A few weeks into the arrangement, all of the rules went straight out the window.

What was wrong with spending time together, going to the college football games, studying in the library until darkness had fallen or hiding out at house parties when it was too rowdy for either of you to handle?

How could he not let you stay over when you looked like an Angel sleeping in his arms? The post-sex glow, the warmth of your body and the so-familiar scent of peach and vanilla filled his head with fantasies of the casual relationship being so much more.

It was perfect, you were perfect.

Until your ex-boyfriend started making threats.

The corridor was empty and it was just typical that your snivelling ex-boyfriend, Brock Rumlow, decided to make an appearance. Bucky didn’t engage with him, just brushed straight past him. In an instant he was pinned against the wall, winded by the blow.

Brock’s grip on Bucky’s collar tightened, yanking him forward and back against the wall. He growled and snarled at Bucky to retaliate but he just smirked at him.

“Oh, you think this is funny do you?” Brock spit out, “Well, you won’t find it funny when I tell the Dean that you were the one that caused that fight with Alex."

Bucky paled at the thought of being used as a scapegoat, he’d already had a few run-ins with Alex Pierce for making derogatory comments about you. If the Dean heard of this, Bucky was certain he’d lose his scholarship.

“Oh and if you go near my girl again, I’ll make sure that she gets caught up in all that mess too,” Brock shoved him again, “I’m sure she’d love to know how much of a violent person you really are.”

Brock walked backwards, laughing as Bucky dropped to the floor.

The words of your ex-boyfriend had taken over his mind and fuelled Bucky’s actions. It was all to protect you, he couldn't care less what happened to him. He wasn’t going to let you suffer because things went too far.

It pained him to see Rumlow’s arm draped around your shoulders at the last Panthers game. His eyes stung as he watched you kiss in the depths of the library. It broke his heart when you tugged Rumlow into a bedroom at Grant’s frat party, the seductive smirk on your lips.

“Saw you with Yelena. I came by your dorm today,” Your voice cracked over the line, “she's pretty, smart and witty.”

Bucky's mind raced, you had come to visit him? What has Yelena got to do with this conversation? You answered for him.

“Just wanted to give you back your leather jacket.” You hiccuped then your tone changed, “She's more your type, better than me.”

“I'm not-” Bucky tried to interrupt you to no avail.

“I thought you loved me.”

He heard the signature sound of the call ending. Without a moment spared, Bucky shoved on his combat boots and grabbed the leather jacket that Steve had found on their doorstep earlier.

It smelt of you, it was intoxicating. It encouraged Bucky to do what he needed to do. To tell you everything. He couldn't let you think he didn't care, that he didn't love you. Fuck Rumlow.

Bucky raced to your dorm. He should have come to you first, told you what happened and come up with a plan to stop Rumlow’s threats from coming true. Now you were drunk and vulnerable. He stopped in his tracks, he didn't know where you were. Scrolling through his contacts, he called Wanda, fully expecting an earful from your best friend.

“Barnes?”

“Wan, where’s Angel? She called and sounds wasted.”

“Why should I tell you?” Wanda snapped.

“Please? I need to tell her the truth.”

“Oh shit.” The sound of the phone being dropped echoed in Bucky’s ears, the panic rushed through his veins.

Your voice, the person he was looking for could be heard at a distance, “tell him to ‘fuck off.’”

“I wanna go to bed now.” You whined, Bucky could imagine the pout and blurry eyes you were giving your friend.

He started to walk to your dorm in the hopes that you or Wanda would give away your location if you weren't at home.

“It's okay,” Wanda's soothing voice was louder, no doubt comforting you.

“Need blanky please.”

“I'll get it in a minute, let's get you cleaned up first.”

The mention of your childhood blanket kicked Bucky into gear. You were at home. He ran. his legs moved as fast as they could to get to the shared apartment.

He was a panting mess by the time he reached the building. No clue what he was going to say. The stairs were neverending, the physical pain pressuring his body to stop. It was nothing compared to the thought of losing you forever.

Bucky pounded on the door, attempting to catch his breath at the same time. His fist didn’t stop hitting until he almost fell through when it was opened by Wanda.

She shook her head, “this is not a good idea, she’s a mess.”

“I’ve got to make this right. I fucked up,” Bucky pleaded with her.

Wanda opened the door wider for Bucky to enter and he sighed in relief.

You were sat on the couch with the blanket wrapped tightly around you, but even with the comforter, he could see your frame had shrunken in on itself. Your head was resting on a cushion, eyes closed as the sobs wreaked havoc.

Bucky’s heart broke at the sight and rushed to your side, wiping your hair away from your face.

You pushed at him, “Go away, Wanda.”

“It’s me, it’s Bucky.”

Your eyes burst open and he felt your shoulders go rigid. The crying had been silenced but tears still streaked down your face along with the mascara and eyeliner you must have been wearing earlier.

“Why are you here?” Your voice cracked.

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears, “I should have told you about Brock, and what happened with Alex. I couldn’t let you get hurt.”

Your eyebrows knitted together, “What are you talking about?”

“Brock said he’d get us both kicked out of college, you know it would only take one conversation with his stepdad.”

You listened intently with tears in your eyes.

“I got into a fight with Alex, over something stupid.”

Wanda interrupted, “It wasn’t stupid, he called your girl a slut. He deserved it and more.”

You winced, “You did that, for me?”

“Yes, and I’d do it again,” Bucky reassured her.

You couldn’t stop the hiccups but tried to speak, “Brock’s -hic- gone. He was transferred. Something about his dad -hic- getting a better job at a better school.”

Wanda passed you a glass of water, “I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

You lifted your legs to sit up straight. Bucky took the seat beside, afraid of what would come next. A scholarship-sized weight had been lifted but he still felt the pressure of you wanting to be with Brock, that you might not choose him after everything.

“I ended it. That’s why I came to see you, not just about the jacket,” You dipped your head.

Bucky’s index finger lifted your chin to look into your eyes and show you that he meant his words with all his heart and soul, “I want to be with you.”

“But what about Yelena?” Your gaze didn’t waiver, giving Bucky hope.

“We’re working on a project together, I am not interested in her like that.”

“I don’t want you to be with anyone else,” You whispered as if uncertain that you wanted him to hear.

“I was an idiot, I thought I could do this whole fuck buddies thing with you,” he shook his head, “I was wrong, I want to be your boyfriend, I want to show you how much you mean to me and tell anyone that will listen.”

“Are you sure?” You looked down, your hands anxiously twisted together.

Bucky took your hands in his. He was a fool, a fool in love with an amazing woman who thought he didn’t care.

“I love you, with all my heart.”

“I love you too.” You whispered.

Bucky felt like the pieces of a puzzle were falling into place. He should have known all along that this was where he was meant to be; with you.

“Can I kiss you now?” He asked, wanting to show you how much he loved and cared for you.

Bucky leant forward, giving you the power to make the decision. It might hurt his ego for a moment if you chose to pull away but he wouldn’t hold it against you. As he waited, he vowed to do whatever you wanted, whether that was to be your partner or friend. If you asked him to leave, and even though it would be hard, then he’d go.

“Well, are you going to kiss me or just stare at my lips?" You quipped, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts.

Bucky pressed his lips to yours, sealing his promise to be with you ‘til the end of the line.

~ Tag List ~

@aeo10fan @capsgrl @charmedbysarge @coffeebooksandfandom @eclipses-and-moondust @emmabarnes @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @foxyjwls007 @gooddaykate @guera31 @ihatecats123 @im-squished @impala1967dwinchester @justagirlinafandomworld @justanotherblonde23 @justile @kalesrebellion @leyannrae @mishkatelwarriorgoddess s @nekoannie-chan @queenoftheunderdark @quinjetboi @redbarn1995 @selen-o-phile @starryeyeseunbyul @stuckonjbbarnes @stuckysavedmylive @suchababie @supraveng @valsworldofcreativity @vicmc624 @vintagepigeon @weird-mumbling @wiccanmetallicrose @writerwrites @doasyoudesireandlive @princessmisery666 @rainbowkisses31 @little-diable @ajaviary @pottahishotasf @itsamarvelfan-writes

[saratinz]

Fake It Like You Love Me

pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

warnings ➩ angst, drinking, smut, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, daddy kink, praise, pet names (good girl, sweetheart, baby)

synopsis ➩ part three of 'Fuck Away the Pain'

word count ➩ 1.4k

a/n ➩ comment or dm me to be added to taglist.

Never have you felt this safe, here, in the unlikely arms of Bucky. Even waking up with a raging headache and sore ass, you are peaceful. With your head on his chest, arms wrapped around him, you wake up in a surprisingly good mood. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Mmmmh, what time is it.”

“It’s 8:00, you wanna get up?”

“I don’t.”

“Well, let me get up so I can go to the gym.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know a much better way to get your workout in.” You lean in, sucking on his neck, marking your territory. 

“Oh really? And what’s that sweetheart?”

“Get naked and you’ll find out.” Once you roll off him, he’s quick to follow orders, removing his shirt and sweatpants, along with his boxers. You admire his adonis-like figure, truly loving every bit of him. While getting on top of you, he causes a moan to slip out when he brushes your clit with his cock. 

“Doll, you’re squirming, are you in pain?” He smirks. “Yes, daddy.”

“Where does it hurt?”

“Down there.” He pushes back onto his knees, coming face to face with your glistening cunt.

“Here, let me kiss it better.” His lips leave a gentle peck on your clit. Then another. And now, he’s using his tongue, making your eyes go crossed. Bucky is eating your pussy like his life depends on it. Lying on your back, never having had so much fun. You’re seeking heaven in his grasp, almost reaching your high, but you’re soon disappointed. 

“Why’d you stop?”

“Awww, is my little baby needy, I have the cure for that too.” He grabs you by the waist, turning you onto your hands and knees. It’s like it’s his job to destroy you, switching from saccharine to dominant in a matter of seconds. “You gonna let daddy help you?”

“Yes, daddy, I need your help.” He responds with a quick thrust straight to your cervix. He’s so deep, so entwined, you can’t imagine a life without him. But no, you can’t think about that, not after what he did. No man who stands Y/n Y/l/n up gets a second chance. Except, isn’t that what you’re doing right now? No, this is strictly sex. The architecture of your relationship fell, all patience and respect completely diminished. Now, all that lies is a pile of anger and fucking. It doesn’t matter that there are feelings there, because you can never act on them. 

“Sweetheart, you okay?”

“Yeah, I feel so much better.” You refrain from telling him what’s really bothering you: the complicated love story of Bucky and Y/n. This is not a fairytale though, it’s not a rom-com. You two won’t get a happy ending, no, it’s too late for that. A particularly harsh thrust makes your thoughts disappear. The way his hips hit your ass is painfully delicious, the sting turns you on more than you’d like to admit. “Fuck, Bucky, I love you.”

“Can’t say those things baby, gonna give me hope.”

“Say it back.”

“I love you too.” You’re so close to the edge, you just need one last push. “Daddy loves you so fucking much, you’re the only one for me.” And that’s what sends you over, the praise and promise he makes. You know, in this moment, you have him wrapped around your finger, and that you always did. 

“Fill me up daddy, want you to cum inside. I’m your good girl right?”

“Yes you’re my perfect girl.” You never saw yourself doing this, letting the cocky superhero you hated do something so intimate. But here you are, with cum leaking out of you. “Fuck you’re so cute.”

“This can’t happen again. It was the last time.”

“I know, doll. If you need anything, I’m always here. Except when I’m on missions of course.” You just lie there, looking a hot mess, but Bucky fucking loves it. He loves you, every single part, imperfections and all. He knows he will never love anyone else, and he’s 100% certain that you’re the love of his life. He would literally do anything, just to have a second of your time, or a smidge of your affection. The sight of you brings him to heaven, and you are his angel. His unknowing savior. Because that’s exactly what you did; You saved him. You two reluctantly get dressed, wishing everything was simpler, and that you could spend the rest of your lives naked in bed together. It’s not even just about the sex, it’s about the emotional connection you share. But life is complicated, and no amount of love can completely repair a betrayal. It seems that you just weren’t meant to be together. You leave without saying ‘goodbye’, trying to accept that this was your last time together. 

While you make your way back to your room, Bucky heads to the gym. “Hey, Sam.”

“Oh god, I’m not talking to Y/n for you again.”

“It’s okay, we’re done. She broke it off this morning.”

“Wait, she was with you last night? She went to dinner? She seemed so sure of her decision. What changed her mind? How did it go? Why’d it end?”

“Woah, one question at a time. She didn’t change her mind, she changed mine.”

“What do you mean?”

“She umm, convinced me not to go.”

“But you love her, there’s no way you would skip dinner again, well, unless, eww Bucky why are you telling me this?”

“Cause you asked. Anyway, we had sex today, but she said it was the last time.”

“So she hasn’t forgiven you?”

“No, but she still loves me.”

“How can you be sure?” “Because she said it while I fucked her.”

“Wait, you’re telling me she dropped the l-bomb during intercourse, then left you?”

“Yes.”

“She’s using you for your body, and you’re letting her.”

“Well, yeah. And I’d let her do it over and over, I don’t care, I’ll take what I can get.”

“Buck, y’know that’s like unhealthy and fucked up, right?”

“Again, I simply don’t care.”

“This is a dangerous game you’re playing, and you’re going to get your heart broken.”

“I know.”

“I’m worried about you. Is she really worth it?”

“Yeah, I mean, we just work. We’re into all the same things, especially when it comes to sex. And she’s just so emotionally literate, it’s endearing.”

“So, uhh, what’s she like in bed?”

“Well last night she figured out that I like to be called ‘daddy’ and taunted me about it, so I, spanked her a little bit. Then we went to bed.”

“Ewww, daddy? And she liked that? You spanked her? Remind me to never ask about your sex life ever again, you all are animals. But in your defense, you are truly perfect together, both of you are into all that kinky shit.”

“I’m not good enough for her.”

“You deserve good things Bucky.”

“No, I don’t, not after all I’ve done. Not after all the pain I’ve caused.”

“Fine, go ahead, be miserable, I don’t know how to help you anymore. You can’t hate and punish yourself forever. You have to let yourself be okay.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“So what would happen if she came to your door tonight and, I don’t know, called you daddy and begged for your dick, what would you do?”

“I guess I’d have to turn her down.”

“You’re lying, aren’t you?”

“Have you seen her? Of course I’d sleep with her.”

“Oh boy, this is going to end badly.”

“Just, don’t mention this to anyone.”

“Fine.” 

It’s only been 12 hours since you saw Bucky last, but you feel like you’re dying. The compound’s bar is becoming your second home. You’re sipping on your vodka and cranberry juice concoction. You’re not gonna survive this break-up, you know that for a fact. Going back on your word is embarrassing, but when it comes to Bucky Barnes, you don’t care at all. He’s your heaven on Earth, your broken angel. Your unknowing savior, because he saved you too. You wouldn’t have gotten over Steve so fast had he rejected you. So you’re grateful, endlessly grateful, for everything he has done for you. And you know exactly how to repay him. Before you know it, you’re at his door, knocking as if you will die if you don’t get inside right now. “I need you.”

“What do you need?”

“I need your cock, daddy.”

Previous part / Masterlist / Next part

taglist:

@ladifreakingda

[bucknastysbabe]

Hi, I am literally awful at making requests and I really hope you’re currently taking requests but I read your fic about Chubby!Bucky and was wondering if you could reverse it, like a short plus size reader and normal movie like Bucky , but not one where he just accepts her body because looks aren’t important but one where he worships her body, he doesn’t just think curves are okay for a woman he loves curves on a woman, you can make it an established relationship or a not, I prefer it not to be an established relationship but just write whatever flows. A smut story would be what I am asking for, some light dom!bucky sub!reader. If it’s not too much to ask can you throw in a kissing/spit kink, not too much focus on spitting but about slobbery messy kisses. Sorry if this is a rambling mess but I hope you can work with it, thank you, love your writing. 💜

YES I GOTCHU!! Always taking requests. Also I got what you meant don’t put yourself down DAMMIT *angry pointing*!! Sorry for the wait had a writers block moment this week but hope you enjoy :)

Big softie buck luvs his chubby gf

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,830

Tags: V!fingering, rough sex, pnv!sex, sloppy kissing, dirty talk, fluff and smut, Bucky is Babie, plus size!reader

A/N: Idk where the breeding kink hopped in but y’know how it be folks.

Bucky had a skip in his step going down the street. He was done with all of the bullshit paperwork in the Flagsmashers aftermath. Sam was taking over mantle of Steve amazingly, Walker was ousted and shamed, and they even got Sharon back into the states. Although he wasn’t completely sure about her.

Regardless he could breathe and go see his sweetie. Perfect, patient, lovely, and owner of the most wondrous curves. Bucky had to keep his dick in his pants for now. He carried a bouquet of roses and some chocolates, hustling down the row of brownstones. His girlfriend was very talented in her career and managed to buy one for herself.

He fought back his giddy grin when rapping on the red wooden door. It slowly opened to reveal her pretty face, mussed hair, and adorable huge t-shirt. The man had to shove down his intense desire knowing that was his shirt. She yelped in surprise, practically launching on the super-soldier.

Bucky laughed and grabbed her under the ass to keep the crying thing from falling. He chuckled, “Hey, hey, you’ll mess up the chocolates hold on.” She grabbed the package blindly and tossed them on a side table. She nuzzled into his scruff, arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

She sniffled, “Don’t need em- I got you.” The super soldier shook his head with a toothy smile, placing the flowers on another surface while leading the pair to the living room. He stroked her back in an attempt to quiet her crying. Bucky did not need to have the usual happy-go-lucky woman crying over the likes of him.

Sitting back onto the plush couch he murmured, “I’m back now, done, you’ll want to kick me out before the end of it.” His flesh hand thumbed away a tear and tipped her chin up. The girl wiped at her eyes and half-giggled and sobbed, “I know, I was so worried during it all. The news aren’t good for my nerves.”

Bucky wanted to sappily get lost in her watery eyes, framed by long clumped lashes. He murmured while stroking along her lush sides, “I can give you first hand doll,” he absently waved, “Tell me about you.” She rolled her eyes and replied, “Work, worrying, watching Alpine, I started a new project.”

As soon as the white cat was mentioned she appeared, purring and snuggling up to the pair. Bucky felt his eyes slightly water as he croaked, “There’s my sweet girl.” The cat let out a little ‘mrow?’ and promptly bit his hand. The couple busted into guffaws, Bucky snarking, “I guess that’s what I deserve.”

He leaned back, pulling his girl onto his chest.

“So tell me about that project, baby.”

He was listening to her talk about work and the project, really, but other things were starting to rear their head. She was so soft against him, lovely curves and pillowy breasts. The woman seemed sleepy recounting the latest news, words slightly stumbling. Bucky figured it was time for a wakeup call. So he grabbed a handful of ass, smirking lecherously.

She squeaked and bolted upright, gaping at Bucky. He snickered, “What?” She narrowed her eyes and groped his half-hard dick in return, the brunette’s eyes rolling with a breathy laugh. Bucky rumbled, “Sorry sweetheart, y’feel so good I lost control.” He squeezed again and nosed along her jaw— drawing out a gasp.

“Imagine how I’ve felt, toys don’t do the trick when I have a sexy super hero saving the world.”

Bucky grew jealous. He didn’t care if they were inanimate— only Bucky gets to watch his sweet girl lose herself in pleasure. He growled, “Oh yeah? What did you try?” She bit on her lower lip, eyes darting to the side, face flushing with embarrassment. Bucky ground his heavy cock against her thin underwear to goad her along.

She mumbled, “The vibrator, mm, then the shower one, y’know with the suction.”

He could’ve taken her right there imagining his girlfriend whining frustratedly on the dildo in the shower— curves slick, soapy, and bouncing with her movements. Bucky nipped her bottom lip sharply, relishing in her whimper. He cooed, “Didn’t do ya’ a lick of good either huh baby? Needed this to treat you right.” He rutted again for good measure, cock throbbing insistently. She shivered on his thighs, eyes growing glossy in desire.

She whimpered, “B-Buck, please.”

He growled, “Open.”

The girl did so obediently, widening lax lips. Bucky tilted her head back and dropped some of his spit onto her tongue. He commanded, “Swallow.” She whined thinly, throat bobbing as she did so. Her plush thighs were practically vibrating on his toned ones.

“Please, fuck, fuck,” she cried, tears pricking.

Bucky grabbed a soft cheek forcefully and claimed her lips. She pressed forward clumsily, heavy tits on his chest and little hands wrenching his jacket. Bucky dominated the kiss, his baby too overcome to do much except weak kisses and drooling. He laughed while sucking on her tongue, plundering the cute thing’s mouth.

It was sloppy. Bucky was in heaven. He liked knowing he could reduce her to tears and careless kisses without even getting in her pants. She mouthed against his lips, practically rutting to get closer. Which on that note, he snuck a hand down her plush tummy to get at her pussy. She cried out again, gasping hotly into the super soldier’s mouth.

Bucky slid two flesh fingers across her weeping slit and groaned, “Fuck- sweetheart you’re so wet.” She warbled, “Missed you, please.” In a fitful movement, Bucky flipped her around on his lap. Full ass thickly against his cock and now all of her soft parts for him to grab freely. She seemed too dazed to register, whimpering at the manhandling.

Nibbling on her neck Bucky hummed, “Can you take my shirt off for me baby? Hm?”

She flushed and nodded shyly. He hated when she got shy, thinking her extra padding wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d laid eyes on. Bucky was a man, he wanted something to grab on when he fucked a girl stupid. She shucked off the shirt, almost curling in on herself.

“No- no- you better stop it. Still like ya’ curves doll,” he tutted.

An annoyed whine was his response.

So Bucky ripped off her underwear with his vibranium arm, donning a shit eating grin. The woman yelping and jolting on his cock. Bucky snickered, “That’s what ya’ get, now I get to see it all.” Her face flushed even prettier, swollen lips lax and wet. He grabbed handfuls of her soft tits and groaned deeply, massaging and tweaking the tender flesh.

Her head fell back again the brunette’s shoulder, brokenly whimpering his name. Bucky murmured, “So sweet, missed my baby.” He thumbed at a peaked nipple and circled around it, sending her ass rocking back against his throbbing cock. Regretfully leaving her breast, he slid his other hand to grope at plush hips and belly before drawing fingers against her slick cunt.

She urged breathlessly, “Oh, c’mon touch me bear, oh!”

He sucked a dark mark behind her ear while delving two vibranium fingers into her slick channel— hot, pulsing, and oh-so-soaked. He grunted in arousal, thrusting and curling his fingers. Bucky growled, “Be a good girl and ride my hand.” She nodded vigorously, mewling and canting her hips against the heel of his palm.

Bucky gritted his teeth to hold back from her ass rubbing perfectly along his strained dick. He had to compartmentalize. Objective one, make his Angel cum. Then he can have a go. She squealed on a perfectly timed curl of fingers on the g-spot and his smooth palm against her clit.

The man used his other hand to grab and pull at her bouncing breasts, mouth leaving a mess of marks all over her neck. She began to tremble, hands twitching to find purchase. His sweetie wailed, “Buck, oh goddd, m’so close baby!” The former assassin paused his bite to growl, “Let go, I know it feels s’good. Then I’ll fuck ya’ raw.”

That did the trick. She loved fucking raw. Bucky had an inkling his girl had been wanting him to knock her up. He wouldn’t mind, more tits, more curves, and a Junior. But Bucky was selfish and wanted her to himself for now— no sharing. Her gushing all over his hand brought Bucky out of his fantasies.

She sucked in deep breaths, exhaling with moans, body wracked with pleasure. Bucky cooed and eased her down, drawing his hand out of her. He could bust right now at the slick coating his pants. She turned and begged for a kiss silently, eyelashes fluttering.

They kissed again, softer this time, softly intertwining their tongues. She whispered into Bucky’s mouth, “Your turn, old man.” Bucky snickered and rolled his eyes dramatically, nipping her upper lip teasingly. She reached behind blindly to help him unbutton, lips sealing together with wet smacks.

Bucky moaned when his achy cock hit the air, her slick center so close to where he needed it buried. She mewled, “Take me, use me baby, get it out.” Later, the man would deny the absolutely pathetic noise he made. Bucky aligned the ruddy tip of his cock to her and gritted his jaw at being sheathed. Her back arched at the intrusion, mouthing at Bucky’s scruff.

He gripped onto her wide hips and lifted her up and down on his cock. Basically a cocksleeve at this point with the way Bucky was slamming his angry cock in. She cried and babbled at the rough treatment, incoherent slurs. Bucky choppily grunted and moaned, veins pulsing with sheer need. She felt so fucking good.

Bucky hissed, “That’s my- hah- best girl, bein’a good little fucktoy.”

She nodded deliriously, drool running down a corner or her gaping mouth, tits bouncing wildly as she held onto Bucky’s hands for dear life. The brunette was going to blow quick at this rate— his girl was sucking him in too good. She seized up and squeezed his dick like a vice.

She had cum again, only a shrill yelp and Bucky’s cock being throughly milked as the indicator. His baby fell limp against him, nuzzling into his sweaty cheek. His balls were full up and pulsing, ready to release. Another one, two, three pumps Bucky came with a loud cry of her name.

He slumped into the couch, still seating inside of his girlfriend while riding out the aftershocks. He could vaguely hear her whimpering about being full under the blood rushing in Bucky’s ears. He wrapped his arms around her soft midsection, suddenly very tired. She hissed, “Not there.”

Yawning, Bucky snorted, “No way in hell baby. Can’t a man hug the woman he loves who just made him see stars?”

She narrowed her eyes for a pause then pecked his lips. The woman murmured, “Fine. Since you’re the man I love who made me see stars two times.”

“Well I could count two since you’re in my lap.”

“Hush.”

[testingthewatersss]

What it felt like Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture, fear of the dark etc. Just unapologetic cuddling and comfort. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Oneshot 4500 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Reader is Tony's sister, a non-enhanced shield agent who reappeared after TWS. What could possibly go wrong after movie night?

“That looks like it hurts”

Y/N’s voice cuts in above the din of the action movie that’s playing on the television, making Bucky tilt his head so that he can look down at where she’s nestled against his chest.

“What does, doll?”

“That” she scoffs, gesturing towards the movie, where some poor schmuck lying on the ground, taking kicks to the face.

“It’s not so bad” he shrugs, “You stop feelin’ it as much after they’ve gotten the first couple of licks in— It smarts for awhile after though, poor guy has no idea what’s comin’”

The way he says it is so lighthearted that it takes Y/N a minute to process what he’s actually said. By the time she has, the moment has passed. The scene on the screen has changed, and Bucky is back to stroking her arm, happy to let the silence between them continue.

And it does continue. It continues until the end of the film when the credits are rolling;

“Well that was somethin,” Bucky says, beaming as Y/N turns to face him, “Not sure I’d watch it again-”

“No” she agrees, reaching up to stroke his cheek, “It didn’t make my top 10 either.”

“You have a top 10?”

She laughs then, soft and tempered before sighing and deciding to take a moment to really look at him.

He really is beautiful.

Even in the dimly lit room, she can’t help but admire the gentle curves of his face. She lets herself reach up to stroke his jaw with her fingers, tracing the bone until she reaches the edge.

And then, she can’t help but think about what he’d said before.

How he’d so nonchalantly described the feeling of being kicked in the face.

The thought of hard leather boots crashing into him makes her cringe-

“What are you doin’, doll?”

She’s stroking his face, running her thumb across his bottom lip now, trying not to focus on the mental image of it splitting open-

“Nothin” she replies, reigning herself back in and offering him a tight-lipped smile as she lets her hands fall away, “You ready to turn in?”

He nods, still wearing an awfully curious expression, even as they both start to head towards the bed they’ve started to share.

By the time they’ve started the process of undressing, Bucky has decided that he must’ve done something to upset his partner.

He doesn’t know what, yet- but he’s sure that she’s avoiding him, and he can’t think of any reason for her to do that, other than him having done something wrong.

This relationship isn’t exactly new, but the concept of being in any relationship as a is something he’s still very much practising.

And considering the way he’s just spent a lifetime being barred from socialising at all, it wouldn’t be unexpected for him to mess up, sometimes. Even though Y/N has always maintained that there’s nothing he could do to make her like him any less, he thinks that she’s definitely acting off.

Every time he turns away he thinks he can feel her watching him, but every time he catches her eye she looks away.

She’s not talking much, either. Which is very out of character. Normally she fills the quiet between them by saying- well, anything, really. She’s a Stark, like her brother, and he’s grown quite accustomed to her monologuing.

So accustomed in fact, that he misses it now.

And then, he looks up and sees her on the bed, wearing a big t-shirt and nothing else and he goes to smile at her, but she looks away, fussing with a glass of water on the nightstand to her right, and he feels his heart drop.

Something is definitely wrong.

He finishes the task of getting ready, and then he silently paces over to her left. Mechanically folding himself up onto the mattress beside her.

Y/N can feel the stiffness in his posture. It’s awkward and unnatural, so she turns her body towards his;

“Are you alright?” she asks, “Tired?”

“Not really, doll” he says, “Tired, I mean- I’m alright.”

She chuckles at that and nods, kicking her legs under one of the many blankets they keep on the bed.

Quiet swells between the pair for a few more minutes, until Bucky decides that he can’t physically bare the tightness in his chest any longer-

It’s always better to just know. To face up to whatever he’s done and get the consequences over with.

And on the bright side, he’s sure that Y/N won’t hurt him. Not physically anyway, and if she does hurt him with her words, he knows that it’ll be justified, that she wouldn’t ever be cruel or unjust.

“Are you upset with me, Y/N?”

His question takes her totally by surprise. She puts the book she’d been fussing with down, and turns to face him properly.

She looks confused. So confused that Bucky can’t help but wonder if he’d spoken in a foreign language by mistake.

Wouldn’t be the first time, he thinks dryly, maybe she didn’t-

“No-Why would you think that?”

Oh, she did hear him then.

“I don’t know-” he admits, suddenly feeling very exposed, “-You’ve just been real quiet”

“I have?” she interrupts, quirking a brow, “I’m sorry, Buck. I’m just thinkin’”

“So it’s not…” he begins, relief starting to creep in, “It’s not because I said somethin’ or-”

The second he says that, her face shifts. The whole expression shifting as she averts her gaze to her lap;

“I did” he says, certain, “I said somethin’, that upset you didn’t I?”

“No” she repeats, tone softer, “Not exactly.”

Not exactly, he thinks, mind echoing her words—

“Buck, it’s fine” Y/N insists, “I’m not upset with you, don’t worry”

“What did I say?” he asks, tone edging towards desperate, “Please, doll- I didn’t mean to-”

“Bucky,” she says, tone firmer now, “I told you- It’s not like that”

“Then” he gulps, “what it is it like?”

Y/N sighs again, focusing her attention very deliberately back on his face for a moment, before surrendering to his wounded expression and rolling onto her side, beckoning him towards her;

“C’mere” she murmurs, patting the space by her chest, “You really wanna know?”

“Yeah” he whispers, shifting into place, letting his head rest in the crook of her bent arm, “I do”

Y/N looks at him thoughtfully for a beat before nodding, settling down and bringing her free hand over to his brow.

She starts to stroke the skin gently, trailing her fingers across his hairline, and then dipping them down to his temple, before starting the circuit all over again.

“You didn’t say anything wrong…” she clarifies, “…but when we were watchin’ the movie and I made that comment about that guy gettin’ the shit kicked out of him and how I bad I thought it must’ve hurt?…” she pauses, thumb brushing the bridge of his nose, feeling a dip in the bone from where it’s obviously been broken and re-set over the years, “…You weren’t imagining when you answered— You knew what it felt like and that- That made me sad…”

Her hand is back on his brow, so he looks up at her, guilt sitting heavily in his chest;

I made her sad being the only thought that he’s able to focus on as he readies himself to speak

“I’m sorry,” he tells her, swallowing thickly, “so sorry, doll-”

“Bucky” Y/N scoffs, edging her front closer towards him, “You’re not hearin’ me- You didn’t upset me, there’s nothin’ for you to be sorry about…”

“I made you sad” he counters, metal arm reaching out to stroke her waist, “I should’ve thought ab-”

“You didn’t make me sad,” she tells him with a smile, “The fact that you ever had to find out what bein’ kicked in face feels like makes me sad. The fact that anyone ever hurt you, makes me sad, Bucky… It’s not your fault.”

Oh, god…

He loves her. He loves her so much.

“I think sometimes I forget” Y/N hears herself drawl, “maybe we all do, huh? Me, and Steve and the others… I think we all forget how rough you had it before.”

“I forget too” he admits, “Sometimes… Sometimes when we’re together I’m so happy, Y/N— So happy that I can’t imagine ever not bein’ that way…”

And then she’s beaming at him, leaning in and pressing a kiss against his brow, where her fingers had been just a moment before.

“I think that’s why it hits so hard when I do remember”

That confession makes Y/N's mouth quirk unhappily. She corrects quickly, feeling obscenely grateful that he hadn’t been able to see her lapse in self-control.

“You make me feel safe, Y/N, really safe.” Bucky tells her, meeting her eyes the second he can, “I know it’s more complicated than that” he allows, “I know it’s because I’m out, too, because I’m not there anymore, but it… it really is better with you, and I think that’s why— I think that’s why when I remember, when I think about it all too much, or when I have a dream that I don’t forget— I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to deal with, because it feels like the two worlds aren’t connected, like they can’t exist at once”

“Bucky” Y/N murmurs, fingers working at carding his hair back now, “What can I do, huh?”

What can she do? he thinks, awed-

“You do more than enough already, doll”

She just shakes her head smiling.

“Listen…” she says softly, “… it sounds like keepin’ everythin’ so separate, actin’ like they don’t go together— like they can’t, go together— might be makin’ everythin’ harder for you than it needs to be.”

He doesn’t disagree with her, so he doesn’t try. He just keeps watching her face as she curls her fingers across his face. He feels like he could drown in the affection. Like that would be a wonderful way to go.

“So” she continues, “how do we make it easier? How do you think we could start to bring the two together a little?”

“Do you” Bucky gulps, “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

She raises a brow in questioning;

“Bringin’ them both together” he clarifies.

“What I think,” she says, “doesn’t mean shit, Buck. It’s what you think about it that counts.”

He can’t help but laugh at that. A real, true chuckle escaping his chest as he turns to press a kiss against her wrist.

“I” he sighs, “I haven’t thought a whole lot about that”

“Maybe it’s time you do” she suggests gently, “Now you’re somewhere where you can, y’know?”

“Yeah” he agrees, “Yeah, I think you’re right, doll- and I know I- I know I shouldn’t just pretend it didn’t happen, I know that’s not the healthiest, doll, but I’m- I’m worried…”

“Worried?” she presses, fingers costing under his eyes now.

“Mhmm” he hums, loving the contact she’s giving him, “I- I don’t want to make things weird”

That’s fair. That’s very fair. She just nods, understanding and waits for him to carry on;

“If… thinkin’ about me bein’ kicked makes you sad, darlin’ — then I—”

“Of course it does” she sighs, “Are you tellin’ me it wouldn’t make you sad if I told you about all the bad things that have ever happened to me?”

Okay. Okay, she’s got me there, he thinks.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be able to talk about things that happened” she tells him, with the same adoring tone as before, “You can always talk to me, Buck… You can always tell me anythin’… and if it makes me sad? Then that’s okay. I can handle bein’ sad if it makes things better for you in the long run.”

“But…” Bucky gulps, “…I don’t want you sad, doll”

She laughs at that, sweet and quiet as she rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want you sad either” she agrees, “but that’s not realistic— that’s not how life works, and I’d rather be sad for a minute, knowing that you’re healing, than have us both pretending that everythin’s okay.”

“…I..” Bucky concedes, “..I guess I could talk about some things, some more? I could try to anyway…”

“That might be a good start” she agrees, “It might help with the disconnect, which might make it less of a shock when things…crop up..”

And then, he feels himself nodding. He feels her fingers running across his hairline again, and as he looks up to meet her eyes he feels a layer of bravado fall away.

“I never liked it when they’d hit my mouth…” he admits, “or my nose— I mean, I didn’t like any of it, but- there was always somethin’ about when they’d go for my face that I really… I really hated.”

Y/N is stroking his cheek, now. She’s watching his eyes as they glaze over as he thinks back to a time he’s tried very hard to repress;

“It… it hurt, but- but it’s like I said before, after the first few blows it just, it just all burned the same, I- I think the noise was worse. The sound, and the taste- the taste of blood, and not, not being able to hide, just havin’ to take it— and not knowing when they were goin’ to stop… I- I hated it.”

Y/N nods, palm settling over the hinge of his jaw in a way that feels awfully protective.

“and after- whenever they did stop, it— got worse real quick, it- it would all swell up, and throb somethin’ fierce and, god, doll- Sometimes they wouldn’t even let it mend before they’d put that goddamn mask back on and it’d feel like I couldn’t breathe…”

On the topic of his breathing— it’s getting shallower by the second.

Y/N makes a mental note to watch that, to monitor him for signs of hysteria while he practices the kind of openness she’d been encouraging just a moment before;

“and when… when they did leave me after, I- I’d just be layin’ there, tryin’ not to move— just feelin’ it, until they came back, and I- I never knew how long it’d be, I- I never knew how long it’d take for someone to come and make it worse…”

His expression is still strangely vacant, even though she thinks there’s a definite layer of red in his cheeks now.

“…sometimes…” he murmurs, tone dropping now, “sometimes when it’s quiet, when nobodies touchin’ me, or I’m fallin’ asleep, I- I feel like it’s about to happen. Like someones about to hit my face. It’s… it’s hard to explain, but it’s the same- it’s the same feelin’ of bein’ there, waitin’ for the blows to start, and I- I never know what to do”

Okay, now he’s hysterical. Or his breathing is anyway.

“You don’t know what to do?” she asks, voice calm.

“No” he admits, “No, Y/N…”

She just smiles, smoothing his hair back gently as she hums.

“Does anythin’ make the feelin’ stop?” she asks, “Or make it less?"

“When” he swallows, “When it happens at night- when I’m fallin’ asleep, then I— I reach out for you, doll, I- I’m sorry, I- I don’t mean to do that, but I- I can’t help it—“

Y/N hushes him, shaking her head to dispel his obvious concern;

“Does that help?”

Yes, he thinks instantly, Yes, god, it helps so much-

She watches him nod, shame making the blush in his cheeks burn hotter than before;

“You just need to feel someone there, huh?”

“Not someone” he counters nervously, “Doll, it’s… it’s you- it’s only you- It’s because you’d never- because you’d never hurt me…”

“Nobody in this building would ever hurt you” she reminds him calmly, “Bucky, you’re safe here”

“I know” he agrees automatically, “I know that, but- it’s… it’s hard to explain…”

“Want to try?” she offers her fingers back to playing with his hair as he nods, retreating inwards to try and produce a way of rationalising his thought process.

“I trust Steve” he begins, “I really do, doll- I love him, too.”

Y/N knows that, so she nods, waiting for him to expand;

“but he… he hurt me, when- when I wasn’t me…” he says, shame making his throat tight, “I know it was my fault. I know I fought him too, doll, but- there’s part of me, that… that doesn’t care about that— that’s just scared, and when he comes up behind me, or pats my shoulder without me expectin’ it, then it’s real hard for me not to forget where I am.”

That’s sad.

It’s terribly sad, but not totally irrational, which Y/N thinks makes it worse somehow;

“You’re the only person that makes me feel safe like that” he continues shyly, “Sometimes the noise is too much, sometimes the quiet is too much, and I can’t know what’s going to be too much until it’s too late, but you… god, doll you’re the only thing that helps me catch my breath when I feel like that…”

“Well…” she exhales, letting her thumb brush across his nose, “…It’s lucky I’m here then, lucky that I’m not ever gonna’ let anyone hurt you ever again”

“I’m sorry I’m puttin’ all this on ya’, Y/N…” Bucky hears himself say next, tone thick and sincere, “I love you, I- I really do, and I’m sorry I—”

“Shhh, now” she whispers, shaking her head a fraction, “I love you, Bucky, just as much as you love me. I want to help you”

“But I really don’t want to upset you” he says, although Y/N thinks he sounds defeated before he’s even finished, “I know you don’t like thinkin’ about what happened, just like you said—”

She presses a gentle kiss on his cheek to quiet him, before letting her lips coast upwards to his temple.

“You’re just gonna have to indulge me a little after we talk, baby,” she says, “We can always talk about anything you want— You can always come to me when you’re not feeling right, okay? but, after, I’m gonna need you to work with me”

And he’s blinking at her, confused but adoring. And she’s cupping both of his cheeks in both of her hands, now, and god, he…he loves her so much it hurts.

Absentmindedly, he considers asking about exactly what she means by working with her afterwards.

She’d said indulge, too, he remembers dreamily, I’d let her do anything, anyway- so it doesn’t really matter…

“You look confused” Y/N purrs, thumbs stroking his cheeks, “Where did I lose you?”

“Workin’ with you” he admits, “Somethin’ about indulging, doll- I, I can’t think of what you mean.”

She laughs at that, soft and gentle as she continues her act of tracing his face with her fingers.

“I mean” she sighs, “That if I’m being honest I don’t think I could handle you just droppin’ somethin’ heavy on me and then disappearing… I’m gonna need you to let me smother you a bit…”

“Smother me” he echos, awed by the concept.

“Mhmm…” Y/N hums, “Like this-” she says, making a point of exaggerating the way she’s touching him, “- baby, just let me keep you close… let me love on you…”

“Oh, god”

Bucky can feel himself practically melting under her consideration.

Being smothered by her is all he’s ever wanted.

He can’t think of anything that would make the idea of opening up and healing more tolerable than Y/N keeping him close while he does.

“You’re so precious to me” she whispers suddenly, “Bucky, and sometimes you’re goin’ to have to let me show it…”

“I don’t…” he replies voice barely audible, “…I don’t think I can think of anythin’ nicer…”

“Well then…” she chuckles, rubbing her nose against his, “…that’s settled…”

“When can we start?”

The question bursts from his lips before he even realises what he’s saying.

Y/N just smiles, thumb running in circles across his cheekbone;

“I think we already have…” she replies, voice soft, “…can you think of anything else you wanna talk about right now?…”

A considerate crease forms between his brows as he thinks about her question.

Suddenly, there are thousands of things he wants to tell her.

Countless horrible situations that he’s been forced to live through are vying for his attention, fighting for the opportunity to be addressed. To be acknowledged as real—

and then in an unexpected moment of clarity, Bucky knows that he can’t open the door to them all now. He knows that doing that would be more than he can handle, even with Y/N taking care of him so thoroughly.

If he’s actually going to do this, he’s going to do it right.

He’s going to have to be careful, methodical and aware of his own limitations; but even having decided that he realises that there’s one more thing he wants to tell her tonight-

“Just that” he gulps, “They- They kept me alone most of the time, doll and I don’t just mean, on my own… I- I mean in the dark, with- nothing… just, just— totally alone… and- and that… god, that was always worse than the pain, I- I was so damn scared, I- I just want you to know that if… if I ever hold onto you a little too tight, or- or if— if I wake you up because I have to put a light on, I- I’m not doin’ it to- I, I just need to remember where I am…”

Y/N had decided as soon as he started speaking that she wasn’t going to interrupt. That she was going to let him finish his train of thought, no matter where it led, but now that he’s actually grown quiet, she’s not sure how to reply.

She settles for pressing a kiss against his lips, stroking his face with her fingers as he lingers in the moment for a little longer than normal.

At some point their bodies have shifted, their fronts being drawn together like magnets. Bucky seems to love it. He’s relishing in the closeness, and based on the new information he’s just given her, Y/N thinks that it’s hardly a surprise.

“You think you can fall asleep with the lamp on low?” she whispers, mouth still grazing his, “It’d save you havin’ to turn it on if you come round in the night…”

“I can” he replies, “I used to, until we started sharin’… even, even as a kid I used to keep candles burnin’…”

“You’ve never liked the dark, huh?”

His head shakes a fraction and she can’t help but sigh;

“You could’ve told me”

He knows that. He offers her a tightlipped smile that looks awfully embarrassed;

“I wasn’t the most slick when I was young” he admits, “I’d suck my thumb a bunch too, it used to drive my old man crazy, but my- my ma never minded… she’d sneak me into their room until I got too big to bunk”

The laugh that triggers is soft. It’s light and musical and Y/N is stroking his jaw, again;

“What did you do after that?”

It’s Bucky who laughs then. It’s equally tempered, but it’s laced with a nostalgia which makes her chest ache dryly,

“I’d share with Steve sometimes…” he tells her, “…He always got sick if it was cold, and he was real scrawny so it made sense, especially after he moved in. We didn’t have a whole lot of space so we topped and tailed until I got drafted, and he got his own place.”

“And when you got drafted?”

“I had a dozen bunk mates, doll… even when we were in transit we were all packed together like sardines in a can…”

So the first time he’d been alone had been in a cell, either when he was being tortured in some cell or when he’d woken up after the fall.

Even when he’d arrived at the tower, it must’ve been terrible. Being on his own in a room, no matter how nice they’d designed it to be.

“Did you ever think about slippin’ in with Steve again?” she wonders, “after you got here?”

“No” he replies honestly, “No, I- I knew how different things were… and I- I was used to it by then, figured I was lucky to have a blanket, let alone a room, and a bed, doll… I wasn’t goin’ to push it, especially after everything that happened with him, y’know?”

“Yeah,” she murmurs, “Yeah, I know…”

“But then I met you,” he says dreamily, “and you let me curl up with you on the couch… you never made it a big deal, darlin’- even before we were us”

“I remember jokin’ about you bein’ part cat” she recalls, “the first time you passed out with your head in my lap, Steve walked in with Natasha and I thought he was goin’ to burst into flames he went so red.”

“I was mortified,” he tells her, “I was sure that you were goin’ to say somethin’, Y/N, I- I couldn’t believe my luck when you just asked if I wanted to grab dinner”

Again, her laugh is like music. Like the sweetest song he’s ever heard.

“What could I have possibly said, huh?” she asks, “you were always exhausted… I was just happy you’d managed to get some rest.”

She sounds so adoring that Bucky finds himself lost for words.

He’s just blinking at her, flushed and precious while she strokes his cheek with her thumb.

“We’ll keep the lights on tonight” she tells him after a beat, “See how it goes, and take it from there…”

“Only if you’re sure, doll”

She nods, smiling calmly.

“I’m sure…” she swears, “I’m very sure…”

After a flick of her wrist, the room is illuminated with a dim, warm glow.

It reminds Bucky of being in a room with a fire. It feels nice, homely, even. And even though nothing else about their position has changed, bar the way Y/N has hitched the covers up higher, covering them both more thoroughly, he can feel his pulse starting to slow. His posture relaxing as he breathes, relishing in the comforting lull of her fingers in his hair, tracing his brow and tucking curls back behind the ear he’s not lying on.

“Oh, yeah” Y/N whispers, a few minutes later, “Yeah, this is a winner, huh? I haven’t seen you this settled in a real long time…”

His lashes flutter, eyes opening dreamily to stare at his love again. He hadn’t even meant to close them; He really is tired, now.

“Can I do anythin’ else?” she wonders, pressing another kiss against his lips,

“You’re spoilin’ me already” he replies, knowing the attempt at protesting is lame at best

She just rolls her eyes, beaming at him in silence.

“Can we stay like this?” he asks, cheeks heating up, “Please? I’ll try not to smother you”

“Sweetheart” she sighs, “Of course we’re stayin’ like this…”

Masterlist

[missvelvetsstuff]

Where you goin, Star?

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Biker au

Summary: Reader meets Bucky when the truck hauling her show horses breaks down as she is trying to leave for an event and he works for the mechanic. Passionate, secret love affair ensues. After a confrontation with her father, Bucky decides she deserves better than a poor biker like him and leaves town with his friends Steve and Sam.

Three years later, reader is trapped in an abusive relationship and about to give up hope of things ever improving, when Bucky comes back.

Chapter 11

Warnings: Swearing, angst

Banging on her door distracted Star and Bucky before she could respond.

Star hurried to answer the door and was almost run over by Tony and Steve who started talking over each other

"Turn the tv on, any news channel, you have to see this"

"Holy shit this is the best thing ever"

"Friday, turn the tv on any news show."

Star and Bucky just stood there staring until she spoke up "What the hell is going on here?"

Tony smiled at her and nodded towards the tv "Check this out."

The news anchor was talking about a storm in the Caribbean when the co anchor took over and the picture of the entrance of Stark tower went from a small box in the corner to full screen

"This is footage from outside of Stark tower in Manhattan earlier this evening. New congressman John Walker is being walked out of the building in handcuffs. While no one has confirmed why, insiders say it is probably related to the recent drug overdose of his wife of 3 years, Heiress Y/N Pierce. She was saved by a dose of narcan administered by an EMT and was released from the hospital yesterday. She is reported to be staying with Tony and Pepper Stark while she completes outpatient rehab.

Regardless of whatever the facts end up being, this isn't a good look for Walker who is rumoured to have his eyes on a Senate seat. Especially when added to the rumours that he has already been served divorce papers.

We'll be reporting on this story as it updates."

Star looked at Bucky blankly, unable to form any words for a moment. Bucky squeezed her hands and brought her back "Wow. I really didn't expect all-" her phone rang and she stopped speaking to find it. She answered it on the 3rd ring and didn't even get to say anything before the caller started speaking hurriedly at her. She just listened and hummed in answer to the barrage of questions.

When the caller finally stopped speaking Star barked out harshly "Where did you get this number? This is a private number. If you need to contact me you can call the main number for Stark Tower and leave a message." she angrily hung up the phone before answering the question on everyone's face "Reporter asking about the divorce and John's arrest."

Tony looked annoyed "They shouldn't have been able to get your number unless John or one of his people gave it out."

She shook her head "It wouldn't surprise me if he leaked it. Anything to make my life more difficult. That's kinda his thing."

Bucky growled "I could fucking k-"

Star cut him off "Nope. We're not going there. I'm not letting you get into trouble over me." She lowered her voice "I'm not worth it."

But Bucky heard her "No doll, you are worth everything. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Star, you mean everything to me and I'm so sorry I messed it all up." He gently reached out to touch her cheek, she closed her eyes, leaned into his touch and he saw a tear fall.

Star shook her head "You didn't mess anything up, my father didn't give you much choice. If you hadn't accepted his offer he would have sent Brock to take care of you. I heard them talking about it at my wedding. They expected you to show up and disrupt everything. My dad said he hoped you would so he could take care of you once and for all. That's when I realized it was hopeless, even if you tried to save me it wouldn't have worked."

She jumped when her phone rang again, another unknown number. She sighed and answered it only to be assailed with questions.

Tony looked at her and put his hand out so she handed him her phone. He just hung it up and turned it off. "This isn't going to work. I'll get the number changed and bring it back later. I'll have Jeri contact John's office and advise them to use the main number here to contact you."

Tony's phone rang and Star jumped again, Bucky rubbed her back to soothe her.

Tony answered and spoke in short, terse sentences before hanging up quickly with a sigh.

He looked sadly at Star. "The story is out and everyone wants to talk to you. There's a mob of press in the lobby so it looks like you're staying in for the night." He looked at Steve and Bucky, "you're both welcome to stay too. I can have rooms prepared for you."

Steve shook his head, "I need to get back to Peggy. My bike is in your parking garage so hopefully I can get past the press."

He looked over at his friend "Buck?"

Bucky looked at Star hopefully "It's up to you, doll. I'm here if you need me or I can go if you need space."

Star looked at him with wide eyes "Are you sure? I don't want to be alone but I don't know.." She trailed off.

Bucky pulled her close "I'm positive Star. Whatever you need, I'll do."

She melted into him, his warmth and scent taking her back to happier days. He gave her hope that just maybe her nightmare with John was almost over and better times were on the horizon.

Tony and Steve quietly excused themselves and a short while later Star and Bucky separated, both of them smiling and hoping the other couldn't tell their faces heated up, and then ate their dinner.

"Do you want to see if there's any more news or find something funny to watch?"

She giggled "I don't know, watching John doing a perp walk and listening to the speculation about why and the divorce is pretty damn funny"

Buckys grin grew at the sound of her laugh and he knew he would do anything for her. He wished he could touch her how he used to but knew it would take time, for her to heal from John and for her to trust him again. He promised himself that he would be here for her no matter what.

Star went to get ready for bed and came out of the bathroom in a long shirt and sleep shorts then climbed into the big bed before patting the spot next to her for Bucky to sit.

He looked at her concerned "Are you sure? I can sit over here" he gestured at the chair in the corner but Star just rolled her eyes and listed the blanket up for him to climb under.

Bucky grinned and shrugged "Who am I to question my Star?" and cuddled up next to her.

They stayed up late talking like they used to. Bucky told her stories of the drama from going to school and living with his three closest friends. Star listened and smiled but every time he tried to ask her about the time they were apart she changed the subject or asked him questions to distract him. There wasn't much worth discussing outside of the abuse from her father and John and she'd rather not talk about that anymore than necessary.

They both finally fell asleep as the sun was coming up, wrapped up in each other.

------------------------------------

They were woken up by the disembodied voice that Star was trying to get used to. "Ms Pierce? Mr Stark has invited you and Sargent Barnes to join him for brunch in an hour. Shall I tell him you will be there?"

Star tried to sit up but Bucky growled and made her laugh "Yes, Friday, we'll be there."

She poked Bucky in the ribs and he opened one eye and stared at her until she went to poke him again and he snapped at her finger then grabbed her arm and pulled her flush against his chest. After taking a deep breath of her he shook his head "Nope. Staying here."

She giggled "come on Jamie, Tony Stark has invited us for brunch" she didn't notice that Jamie slipped out but he wasn't going to tell her and simply basked in the glow of their slowly rekindling relationship.

When they made it to Tony's dining room they saw Tony, Pepper and Morgan.

"Star, Barnes come in and have a seat. Fill up a plate, drink mimosas."

Star went to sit next to Pepper, talking to Morgan in her high chair. Bucky sat next to her, a soft look on his face as he watched Star play with the baby.

Tony sat down "I wanted to let you know I was able to talk to one of the judges that handles divorce and family law and he's willing to meet with you in his chambers. There you can try to convince John to just settle and walk away before you release the particulars of your marriage and it's end. Hopefully sitting before a judge will make him realize how serious this all is." He explained. "Plus you'll have credible witnesses to John's crapulance."

Tony looked at Bucky and sighed "You won't like this but I think Barnes should sit the divorce mess out. You don't want John trying to throw out some fidelity issues."

Bucky started to protest "I don't want her facing him alone, she-"

Tony cleared his throat "I know, I know and I will send Happy and Rhodey with her. They will keep her safe from John or any of his people."

Bucky scowled at Tony but conceded and squeezed Stars hand, trying to assure her everything will be ok.

Star nodded "Will that even work? He knows that he's already facing charges for his last round of abuse and ordering Brock and Jack to discipline and kill me."

Tony nodded "Maybe. He might think he has a chance to get out of those charges and keep his job but an illegitimate kid? Conservatives aren't attached enough to him to overlook cheating so without your money, he'll be too broke to fund his next campaign like your father paid for his last which puts him out of a job."

Star thought for a minute while chewing on a piece of bacon, then shrugged. "I'll have to trust you Tony, I don't know anything about all this mess."

Tony smiled at her "Well you know I have to do what I can or your biker friends might cause me some trouble" and winked.

Star laughed and shouldered Bucky "I've been told that they are troublemakers." She took a deep breath "So when is this appointment?"

"Tuesday, 10am. It's already coordinated with your attorneys so all you need to do is wear something nice and stand your ground."

Star nodded "I know, he's a bully. He will try to intimidate me. I'm not letting him do that anymore."

Pepper spoke up "So Y/N we should find some nice court outfits for you. I can have some sent over for you to try on. Accessories too. Once you are past this divorce mess we will have to have a girls day out, brunch, shopping, beauty treatments, a play. The works. For now we will have them brought to you."

Star felt herself start to choke up and wondered when she would stop feeling overwhelmed by others kindness "Thank you, Pepper."

Tony looked at his watch "Alright Barnes, we have business to work on. Your partners should be here soon."

Bucky looked at Star "You'll be alright here without me?"

She nodded with a smile and he gave her a kiss on the cheek and followed Tony out of the room.

Pepper looked at her excited "Business has kept me so busy I haven't had time for pampering and you know how hard it is to make real friends in our world. I think you might need a friend as badly as I do.

Let me make a few calls to get things started."

Pepper left her to finish her food and returned 15 minutes later. "They're on their way, let's go to the wardrobe and get comfortable.

They spent the morning drinking mimosas and trying on an endless stream of clothes. By the time they were done both were more than half drunk and had put together 2 weeks worth of court appropriate ensembles.

"I don't know, Pep. Do you think I'll need this many outfits?"

Pepper nodded and giggled "If you don't need them for court they'll be good for the talk shows and book signings."

Star shook her head "Book signings and talk shows? What are you talking about?"

Pepper giggled again "After you write your book. I think people would love to read your story."

Star shook her head "Because people love dirty laundry, especially when it proves that the rich and famous are as fucked up as everyone else."

"But Star, you could use any profits for your work at your stable."

"Lets not get ahead of ourselves. Divorce and John's criminal BS because I know he won't settle. Thats all I can handle right now."

While they were getting their mani-pedi Pepper kept gossiping like a teenager. "What about you and Bucky?"

Stars head snapped up "What about what? I definitely can't think about that right now. I'm still recovering from John and not ready to jump into another relationship right now. He's being a good friend, thats all I can deal with right now."

Pepper frowned "But its so obvious you two still love each other."

Star took a breath "I don't know what we feel. If we are going to have something again it will have to wait till I can heal."

Pepper nodded "I don't think he's going anywhere unless you tell him to. I'll let it go as long as you remember that Tony and I are here for you."

Star smiled "Thanks, Pep."

When they were done, Star was exhausted and went back to her room to lay down. She couldn't get Bucky out of her mind and when she finally did fall asleep he haunted her dreams.

Chapter 12

@pattiemac1

[bedlamsbard]

In Home, how does Steve feel about Howard as person/friend? What I get from your writing is that Howard clearly has a lot of affection and respect for Steve but when I read scenes that they have together Steve just seems very neutral(?) towards Howard. Or am I misinterpreting it?

I don’t mean this as a criticism or anything though I’m just genuinely wondering where Steve’s headspace is at with him. I’m loving your snippets for this upcoming chapter btw 👀

Steve loves Howard and thinks of Howard as a very close friend (and knows that Howard is in love with him and has been for years), but he's extremely aware of what happened to Howard in the future (getting murdered by the Winter Soldier for the serum*) and that he (Steve) is hiding that from Howard. A lot of Steve's interactions with Howard are also colored by his (at this point completely failed) relationship with Tony. Steve's also spent most of the past six years with Tony and knows Tony's mixed-to-negative feelings about Howard, so that's affecting his interactions with Howard. It does mess up a relationship when you know the other guy was in love-slash-obsessed with you and he ended up making it everyone else's problem for the next forty-six years and change because it didn't actually stop when he died. Also definitely his own problem, not just everyone else's. Howard never really accepted that Steve had died in 1945 and it fucked up him and everyone around him for the next forty-six years of his life, and all of Tony's life to the present day. That's a lot for Steve to deal with, even though none of that has happened to 1945 Howard yet.

(Steve and Tony's handful of interactions where Howard comes up are really interesting, because it's very, very clear that they essentially knew two different people -- I could talk about that one scene in CACW for hours.)

Not to mention the last time Steve saw Tony, Tony threw Howard's murder and the shield in his face, both while trying to kill him, so that's also a factor -- and because this is straight-from-the-Battle-of-Wakanda Steve, Steve is also convinced that Tony was killed by Thanos approximately five minutes before Steve landed in 1945, which is information that he really doesn't want to accidentally pass on to Howard. Steve knows that Tony went after Ebony Maw and Stephen Strange in New York and assumes that Tony would have died before giving up the Time Stone; since Thanos arrived in Wakanda with the Time Stone, ergo, Tony is dead. He has no way to know any of the details of the fight on Titan.

Steve's pretty distant from everyone (except Natasha) in 1945, because he still thinks that he's going to have to leave again; the moment he and Natasha have a way back to 2018, they're going to take it. He's terrified of getting too comfortable, too attached, again, because that will make it that much worse when/if he has to go. That goes for Peggy and Howling Commandos as well as for Howard; it's just that none of the others have "your kid tried to kill me about your murder two years ago" hanging between them. And that's a pretty heavy thing to conceal. By this point Howard and Peggy and the Commandos know that Tony hates Steve and tried to kill him, since it's come up a few times, but the absolute last thing that Steve wants Howard to find out is the circumstances of that particular event. (Especially because Bucky's survival has not been revealed.) Howard won't push Steve to have a deeply emotional conversation the way Peggy has done on several occasions, so Steve hasn't had to explain any of it to him yet. Which in a way is something of a relief to Steve because he doesn't want to have deeply emotional conversations, but it does mean that there's a wall between them. Howard is too purely relieved to have him back to push at all.

None of this is explicitly stated, because Steve's just not going to think it explicitly or say it out loud to anyone without some very specific prompting that hasn't happened yet, but that's the logic behind Steve's interactions with Howard. The closest he comes to thinking about it is probably in Chapter 6, during the scenes about the shield.

* I can't remember if it's come up explicitly in Home -- I'm guessing not because I don't think Steve or Natasha would have any reason to know -- but the circumstances of Howard's murder in Home are the same as in Horizon, i.e. he found out that SI and the U.S. Army were working on a super soldier serum, threw a fit, and was taking it to SHIELD when Alexander Pierce had him and Maria killed. It's not relevant here, but like with most of my backstories, this one is the same between the two universes.

[the-salem-devil]

PERFECTIONIST!Reader x Bucky Barnes [HEADCANNONS]

SUMMARY: Perfectionist!Reader has a bad day, Bucky is soft.

WARNINGS: MILD ANGST WITH FLUFFY ENDING, PROJECTING WRITER, TONS OF FLUFF, FOREHEAD KISSES, CL*NT BARTON.

Word count: 1,022

““Perfect/Perfection” Word count: 9

-You were a perfectionist, it was no secret. -Everybody knew since the moment they met you, speculation was made about the root, be it OCD, strict parents, insecurity, or just a normal habit.

-Nobody knew, and nobody needed to know.

-You’d obsess over the small details, turning a fifteen minute project into a two hour masterpiece, you couldn’t stop until it was perfect.

-Bucky might not realise this at first, his brain was a little scrambled from the ice please be patient with him.

-This might be something that would catch his attention in the first place.

-The passion in your eyes as you tried to straighten out any little imperfection in your work makes his stomach go warm, melting the ice still plaguing the inside of him.

-He adores the face you make when your focused.

-When he starts to realise he has feeling for you, this might trigger some insecurities,

-In his eyes, you are perfect, everything you do is perfect, everything you touch turns to perfection.

-In your eyes, he doesn’t need to be perfect, you love him anyways.

-You’d defiantly need to take charge initially, he doesn’t want to ruin the bond you both already have so you’d have to risk asking for more.

-Once both you lovestruck besties pull your heads out your asses the romantic tension between you can finally bloom.

-One thing you have in common at the early stages of your relationship is acting a little distant,

-Bucky constantly worries about hurting you, he’d never do it purposely but accidents happen, and he’d rather continuously compliment Sam then ever cause you the slightest bit of discomfort.

-You’d worry about not being enough, you already held yourself to high standards but you loved him enough to push the impossibly tall standers further.

-It may have taken awhile, but Bucky starts to notice little things,

-You seemed more exhausted then usual,

-you tended to be quicker to irritation with the team (Clint especially, the fucknut made once made a period joke about your new attitude and he rightfully almost lost his tongue.)

-One day the cup spilled over,

-You’re alarm decided to break overnight so you’d woken up late, having stayed up late discussing paperwork with Nick Fury.

-Rushing to get ready you skipped on styling your hair, leaving it frizzy and untamed, earning a jab from Tony.

-The sheepish shrug and smile you’d given Steve hadn’t been enough to get you out of a lecture after training despite it not being your fault Steve-

-You’d been drooling all day at the snack you’d hastily made yourself the yesterday night before dropping out of consciousness, only to find your late night logic had failed to noticed it had expired a month ago.

-By the end of the day you were ready to curl up in Bucky’s arms and forget this day every existed.

-But the interns needing your assistance had kept you later then you’d wanted.

-Finally making it into you and your lovers floor, you were ready for some stereotypical self care the media had conditioned you into wanting.

-The face mask had left your skin itchy and dry, and the only moisturising cream you had was scented so you ended up with a strawberry scented headache.

-The colourful socks you’d dawned had made you slip and bump your head onto the cold hard floor.

-You were ravenous and when the food you’d ordered came you’d dug in without a second thought, only to find they added the one thing you didn’t want into your meal.

-And worst of all, Bucky was late.

-You took a deep breathe and pulled out some watercolour paint and paper, it was a gift from a friend after you’d mentioned wanting to try it.

-An honest mistake, really.

-You hunched over the kitchen counter, your normally perfect posture thrown out the window as your tears dripped onto the wet mess of a paper underneath you.

-It’s was a disgusting mix of purples and blues, browns and greys a product of poor mixing choices and the green trees you’d tried to save it with had melted into the cool colours.

-Distracted by your heavy heart you had failed to hear the elevator slide open, and a tired relieved voice calling out, “Hey Doll! I’m back!”.

-At the sound of his precious baby dolls gentle sobs he hurriedly put down the pizza he’d gotten and rushed to the kitchen.

-He wrapped his arms around you from behind, brushing the hair from your face and rocking you back and forth gently.

-After your hiccups slowed to shaky breaths he coaxed you from the chair you sat in.

-Turning you around to face him, he gently asks “Whats the matter, doll face?”

-You sniffle loudly and gesture with your head towards the mess of a painting behind you, “I was trying out the watercolours my friend gifted me, but they didn’t work how I expected, I tried to fix it but it just wouldn’t work and!-”

-He’d let you ramble, spilling everything that happened today, and the feelings of perfectionism you had slipped out a couple times.

-After you finished, he’d slowly release you from his grip and carefully pick up the mostly dried piece of paper,

-You’d watch him as he grabbed a magnet from the pantry and attach it to the fridge, with your abomination underneath it.

-Startled, you’d burst out laughing.

-He’d come back over to you and wrap a arm around your waist, looking at you adoringly as he waited for the laughter to subside.

-Kissing your forehead he whispers, “You are everything to me, your personality is perfection to unreachable heights and i’m so lucky to call you might, love.”

-It didn’t erase the habit of perfectionism, it didn’t magically change your mindset to be easier on yourself, and it certainly didn’t fix your opinion of the picture on the fridge,

-But it shifted something in your relationship, you relaxed into his hold as he swayed you softly in a music-less dance from a long time ago.

-Not that it mattered, but to you, this moment was perfect.

Hey little witchlets! Thanks for sticking around until the end, I would love some requests for any characters, marvel or not, and would adore some prompts if you have time to spare <3

XOXO The Salem Witch

[janeykath318]

Darcy's Secret

They first noticed something was off when Darcy’s profile disappeared from the dating apps she frequented.

“Have you finally given up, Lewis?” Tony asked, popping into the lab to be annoying, as was his usual. 

“For now,” Darcy shrugged. “I just don’t have the time right now to deal with the stress of sifting through hay to find a needle that may or may not prick me.”

“An apt metaphor,” Tony agreed. “But I might now a few guys…..”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she replied, returning her attention to her data. “Science waits for no man.”

Tony was a bit disappointed, but also proud. He loved having another science minion around.

Steve and Bucky were surprised when they saw Darcy straight up turn down cold the hot lab tech she’d used to flirt with back in the day. 

“Whoa! I thought she had the hots for Keith,” Steve commented. “Wonder what happened.”

“Probably turned out to be a jerk,” Bucky sighed. “I noticed she’s straight up ignored him ever since she got back from Chile two months ago.”

“Hmmm, we’d better do a background check on him,” Steve pondered. “If I find out he messed with her…..”

“He’ll be disappeared,” Bucky finished, a fiendish gleam in his eye. They were very protective of Darcy and the mere thought of her being bothered by a man brought out their supersoldier instincts. 

Clint was intrigued when he saw Darcy had changed her Facebook profile. Her status now read In a Relationship, but try as he might, he couldn’t find any evidence of a potential romantic interest. He frowned. 

“Something’s fishy. She either changed it by accident or she’s really hiding something. I’d better consult with Nat.”

“Do you know what’s going on with Darcy?” He asked his friend. “She acts like she’s taken, but there’s no evidence of it except for a Facebook status change. I’m a little worried for her.”

Nat pondered for a moment, brow furrowed.

“It is very unlike Darcy to not flaunt her relationships openly. Perhaps she changed her status to appease annoying relatives and it’s all a fake?”

“Hmm…..could be,” Clint mused. “Something still feels off, though.”

“We’ll give it a few more weeks, then see if she’ll tell us herself. She’ll know if I go poking around behind her back, given her uncanny hacking skills. I want her to trust us enough to be open with us when she’s ready,” Natasha explained. “But in the meantime we’ll keep both eyes open for anything that suggests she is in danger.”

Clint nodded his agreement. 

“You’re right. It’s still gonna make me crazy not knowing.”

Thor caught Darcy in the hall talking on the phone with a very dreamy expression on her face.

“Ah! Lightning sister!” He exclaimed, when she’d hung up. “Should I wish you joy? That look on your face was full of love.”

Darcy flushed and her eyes looked everywhere but at him. She opened her mouth and closed it several times. 

“Um……would you believe me when I said I was talking to my dad?”

Thor frowned.

“Not in the least. That was not an expression of familial love on your countenance. Nor do you end your calls to your father by saying “bye, babe.”

She sighed and picked at her jacket, clearly anxious. 

“Look, Thor, I hate not being fully honest with you, but I can’t really talk about it yet for security reasons. I promise I will come clean when I can.”

Thor was somewhat appeased but still concerned.

“But is he worthy of you?” he asked worriedly. “I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you, Darcy.”

“Aw, Big Guy, you’re so sweet,” Darcy sighed, giving him a reassuring hug. “And he has been very good to me. Believe me, if he wasn’t, I’d taze him in the balls.”

“I’ve no doubt you will,” Thor approved. “I will look forward to meeting him.”

Darcy wandered into Bruce’s lab, looking for a hideaway.

“What brings you in, Darcy?” Bruce asked, looking up from his computer.

“I’m trying to avoid my nosy co-workers,” she sighed. “You’ve probably heard the rumors. 

“Yes, but I don’t put any stock in them. I don’t know why people have all decided you’re secretly married, but it really sounds like Clint pulling a prank to me. I’ve already had to give talking-tos to some of the interns for repeating that nonsense.”

“I knew I could count on you, Bruce,” Darcy said, sitting down on the floor in the corner. “You’re awesome. How long do you think before they give up?”

“Until the next big Tony-related incident,” Bruce guessed. “Which around here, is usually at least once a week.”

Darcy giggled. That was one thing they could all count on: Tony causing a catastrophe, one way or the other. 

Tony was throwing his usual big holiday party and the Avengers were dressed to the nines ready to party. Bucky and Natasha looked like they’d just stepped out of the Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie and Steve proudly escorted Sharon Carter, who looked beyond gorgeous in a sparkly silver dress. 

Clint and Laura were happily dancing when he spotted Darcy entering the room on the arm of a tall, swarthy man, the sight of who made his stomach clench. 

They walked right up the group of Avengers. 

“Hello, everyone,” Darcy greeted. “I’d like you to meet my husband, Brock.” 

Multiple pairs of eyes looked at the couple’s left hands, which both sported impressive wedding bands. Silence reigned for a full minute. 

Darcy’s stomach lurched with guilt at the betrayed looks on Steve’s and Bucky’s faces, but Sharon’s whisper in Steve’s ear seemed to calm him down. Sharon, Jane and Fury were the only three people who knew the truth.

“Explanation. Now”

“Blink twice if you’re hostage!”

“What the hell, Darcy?”

“This is fake, right?”

“This has to be just a big joke.”

“How could you….”

Everybody spoke at once and Darcy clung tighter to Brock’s arm. She didn’t like the way Tony and Bucky were looking at her. 

Steve’s sharp whistle cut through the pandemonium and everyone turned their attention to him.

“Hey. Let’s let Darcy and Rumlow explain before we assume the worst, okay? Pepper would never have okayed his access if there was a threat possibility,” Steve said calmly. 

“Didn’t he try to kill you, Capsicle?” Tony asked skeptically.

“Multiple times. But what I just found out is he was a triple agent the whole time.”

Jaws dropped and everyone stared at Brock. Bucky was practically boring a hole right through him.

Brock sighed. 

“It’s true. Fury had me deep undercover as a Hydra operative for years. I did things I’m not proud of. But we took them down. I met Darcy a couple years ago when I was hiding out, nursing my wounds. We hit it off, but since I was supposed to be dead, everything had to be top secret.”

“So, the wedding happened in Chile?” Natasha surmised.

Brock and Darcy nodded. “Yep,” Darcy confirmed. “I’m really sorry I couldn’t tell you. It’s been so hard, not being able to squeal about how happy I am.”

Clint shook his head. 

“You fooled a bunch of spies. Nice going, Darcy. Congratulations.” 

He sounded genuinely pleased, so Darcy started to feel better. Clint and Nat came forward to offer hugs and gradually most of their friends did the same, even Thor, though he took the opportunity to give Brock the godly stare down. 

Tony finally came over and shook Brock’s hand.

“Well, I see Darcy likes Italians. Good taste, Darce.”

“I like tall Italians,” Darcy clarified impishly, winking at Tony, who pretended to be gravely offended. 

Sharon chuckled and offered congratulations.

“You do clean up nice, you two. Red is clearly your color.”

“Thank you,” Darcy replied giddily, swishing the skirt of her stunning red dress. “I think we’re one of the hottest couples in the room, don’t you think, babe?”

Brock grinned at her, 

“Without a doubt,” he purred. “Shall we dance, Mrs. Rumlow?” 

“With pleasure,” Darcy beamed, taking his arm and allowing herself to be swept away onto the dance floor. Bucky stared after them, still trying to process this. 

“Well, I think we caused the sensation of the decade,” Brock remarked. “I’ll never forget the look on Rogers’s face. Or Stark’s.” 

He snickered at the thought as he twirled her around.

“Me neither,” Darcy agreed. Clint had resembled a goldfish, and Tony looked like he’d been struck by lightning. “I really think it would be a good idea for you to talk to Steve and Bucky, though. Maybe clear the air. They’ve appointed themselves my surrogate big brothers, so be prepared for a super soldier shovel talk.”

“Barnes looks like he wants to end me,” Brock commented. “It’s gonna take a bit with him. Not that I blame him.” 

“Natasha will talk him around,” Darcy said. “Did you know they’re a couple?”

“No. Huh. Wow. Good for them,” Brock dipped Darcy, then went in for a kiss before he returned her to her feet.

“You sure know how to show a lady a good time,” she crooned to him.

“And I’ll show you an even better one tonight,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re driving me crazy in that dress.” 

“They certainly seem to be enjoying married life,” Steve commented. “I hope it stays that way.” 

“Me too,” Bucky admitted. “I’m not sure how I feel about him, but I know Darcy well enough to know she’d never marry a nazi. At least with him around, she shouldn’t have to worry about any more kidnappings.”

“Good point,” Steve admitted. “Rumlow can wreck anyone that’s not you or me. It’ll save us a lot of worry.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Sharon put in, coming up from Steve from behind and wrapping her arms around him.”

“Romanoff and I would like to join the fun on the dance floor, gentlemen. Are you done being party poopers?”

Steve and Bucky looked at each other then grinned.

“I’m game,” Bucky told Natasha. “Let’s go show them how it’s done.”

“I’ll give it a go,” Steve said to Sharon. “Though, I’ll warn you, I don’t have the skills Bucky has.”

“That’s okay,” she told him. “Neither do I. I’m good with the ole hold and sway version. Save the acrobatics for later.” 

She winked at Steve, who turned red.

“Carter and Rogers. I never would have imagined it,” Brock commented. “Thought they loathed each other.”

“Ha!” Darcy laughed. “So did I, but once I saw them working together, it was clear The sexual tension was through the roof. Ooh, boy.” 

She fanned herself dramatically. “Once they worked out their issues, it was all lovey-dovey and eye sexing. A little nauseating, but I’d be a hypocrite to call them out for that, given how we operate.”

Brock sent her a heated look, which made her blush again.

“Yep, that’s how it’s done,” she admitted. “You have no right to be so sexy, Mr. Commander Fineass.”

“The feeling is mutual, beautiful,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. “Very, very mutual.”

[crazyunsexycool]

Could we get a drabble of Dot asking Bucky about reader? I'd like to see his reaction 👀

So instead of Dot just asking him about reader I decided to do something a bit different. But still you’ll see Bucky’s reaction to Dot mentioning reader’s name for the first time. At the moment all Dot knows about reader is what George told her. (Last drabble)

The contract had been signed and as much as Bucky wanted to keep his distance from Dot, she had managed to have Bucky take her out on a date. It was just dinner and he hoped it would go by quickly since he had more important things to worry about. The section of the restaurant was secluded which Bucky appreciated, at least he wouldn’t have to fake affection towards the stranger that sat to his left.

There had been multiple times during the ride from Dot’s apartment to the restaurant where she tried to start a conversation but he had shut her down. Here however he knew his father had eyes and ears everywhere.

“Have you been here before?”

“Yes.”

“What would you recommend? Everything looks good.”

“I’ll have the waiter recommend something.” He hated having to do this. He didn’t even consider it a date it was more like a business meeting.

“Listen James,”

“Bucky.”

“What?” Dot looked at him confused.

“No one calls me James except for my Ma.”

And Y/N. But Dot didn’t need to know that.

“Ok, Bucky. I just want to get to know you better. We’re meant to be together for the rest of our lives, would it be so bad if we got along?”

He finally took his eyes away from the menu to look at her. Her blonde hair was curled and framing her face. The lighting made her blue eyes shine brightly. The shade of her lipstick was just pink enough to be inviting and she wore a dress that showed just enough cleavage to pique anyone’s interest. Sadly none of that mattered to Bucky because she wasn’t you. So he sighed as he looked back down at the menu.

“You need to understand that this is a business deal. There are no feelings here and there never will be. The sooner you come to terms with that the easier this will be for both of us.” Bucky took the scotch that had been given to him upon sitting down and drank it in one gulp.

“Bucky,” Dot placed her hand on Bucky’s before pulling back. A mixed look of disgust and fear washed over her face as she realized she had grabbed his left hand. “Listen I can understand if you don’t do relationships or your last one ended poorly but I want you to know that I want us to work.”

“Trust me, we won’t.”

Dot pouted slightly and went back to the menu. Bucky breathed a sigh of relief thinking that it would be the end of that conversation at least for now but he couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Y/N really did mess you up.” She mumbled under her breath, thinking he wouldn’t have heard.

Bucky’s eyes moved back to Dot slowly. He glared at her, wished that his look alone could kill.

“What did you just say?”

Dot’s eyes snapped up to Bucky’s. This time there was shock and fear in them.

“Nothing.”

“Try again.”

“Y/N really did mess you up.”

“Where did you hear that name?”

“A-at your parent’s house.”

“I’m going to tell you this one time. You don’t talk about Y/N, you don’t even mention that name. You don’t know anything about her. She didn’t mess me up, she means everything to me. Got it?” He sneers.

Dot nodded.

“Good.”

The waiter walks up to the table, unaware of any type of issue.

“Are you ready to order Mr. Barnes?”

“We’re leaving. This should cover the bill and your tip.” Bucky had pulled his wallet out and dropped a few bills on the table. He stood and started walking out of the restaurant, leaving Dot to trail behind him.

The car ride back was tense. Bucky’s grip on the wheel was enough to turn his knuckles white, while Dot kept her eyes on the road. Her arms crossed over her chest at the thought of her ruined night. Once Bucky pulled up to her apartment building he parked and turn to look at her.

“You shouldn’t get your hopes up for this arrangement. This will never be anything but a business deal to me.”

Dot huffed and got out of the car. Bucky didn’t even wait until she walked inside before he drove away.

[themculibrary]

Christmas Smut Masterlist

All I Want for Christmas is You (ao3) - spazzgirl steve/natasha E, 1k

Summary: Natasha's been a naughty girl this year, but promises to be extra nice for next Christmas

Baby, It's Cold Outside (ao3) - LeisurelyPanda steve/bucky E, 8k

Summary: Steve hates snow. He hates winter. But he loves Christmas and he's been looking forward to it all semester. All he really wants is to get home so he can relax and spend the holiday with his Ma. Bucky loves snow. He loves winter. He's Jewish, so Christmas isn't a huge deal for him, but he loves the winter songs that come on when Christmas rolls around. So when a blizzard comes rolling in while he and Steve are driving home from college at the end of the semester, he's pretty excited. Steve hates it on principle. Unfortunately, they get caught in it and are forced to pull over and weather out the storm at the nearest cheap motel they can find. There's just one problem. There's only one bed.

Can they survive three days of awkwardness and sexual tension? Will their feelings emerge or will they tiptoe around each other as they always have? Will it end in disaster or will it give them the chance to find happiness at last?

Beneath the Mistletoe (ao3) - sunrow steve/bucky E, 21k

Summary: Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

Blame It on the Mistletoe (ao3) - spoffyumi steve/bucky E, 5k

Summary: "If you come to this party, I'll do anything you want."

For a long moment Bucky didn't answer, but Steve could see the start of a little smile rounding Bucky's cheek. "Anything?" Bucky asked.

Christmas Do-Over (ao3) - valiantlybold frank/matt E, 5k

Summary: Christmas is rough for Frank, since…since his family.

He's glad that Matt doesn't try to 'fix' it, but instead accepts it for what it is, and maybe that helps cope with it all a little.

Christmas Wish (ao3) - Fanfictionisthegame wanda/natasha N/R, 65k

Summary: Natasha escapes to a small town in Pennsylvania after shooting a movie and runs into a shop owner, Wanda, who has no idea who she is. Natasha, dumbfounded, plays along and enjoys getting to know someone who doesn’t know who she is. She feels she can be herself. But how long can a lie really last?

Closed For the Holidays (ao3) - FestiveFerret steve/tony E, 6k

Summary: Tony just wants to spend Christmas with his boyfriend.

Coming Home For Christmas (ao3) - Chiyume steve/bucky E, 118k

Summary: Steve Rogers is a good man. His friends have told him so on numerous occasions, but this might actually be more bordering on "stupid" rather than "kind". Because what else would you describe the act of inviting a complete stranger - and thief - into your home over the Holidays? Steve isn't quite sure what to call it himself, but fact is that when it comes to the case of Bucky Barnes, Steve's actually pretty okay with being referred to as an idiot, as long as it keep the other man safe. And to Steve's defence, it had all started out with such good intentions...

Deck Those Halls (ao3) - notlucy steve/bucky E, 2k

Summary: Bucky has a pre-Christmas present for Steve. Unfortunately, Steve's always made a bit of a mess when opening his gifts.

Fell For You (ao3) - sadsongssaysomuch steve/bucky E, 4k

Summary: Bucky and Steve have always been best friends, but on Christmas Eve, Bucky wakes up to realize that the way he feels about Steve is more than just friendly.

Festive (ao3) - orphan_account steve/bucky E, 5k

Summary: It was almost Christmas, that was pretty exciting. It was going to be the second Christmas Bucky and Steve were going to spend together. Now that they are in the twenty first century they don’t have to worry about not being able to afford each other gifts or worry that the lights will rack up their electricity bill so high that they won’t eat for the next month.

They’re able to watch the snow fall, watch holiday movies, spend time together in a warm, comfy apartment. They were together and celebrating together, it was everything they could ever dream of… Too bad Steve had to go out and be a bad boy.

Have you been naughty or nice? (ao3) - LadyAngelique, orphan_account steve/bucky E, 3k

Summary: It's Christmas time. The season of spreading joy and love. Let's just say, Steve and Bucky know how to do that very well.

How to Pick Out a Tree and Get Some Sweet Booty in the Process (ao3) - leftennant bucky/darcy E, 5k

Summary: Darcy is trying really, really hard to ignore the fact that she's fallen for her best friend. Not that Bucky is making it easy. Why did he volunteer to pick out a Christmas tree with her anyway? It's fine. Darcy can do this. She just needs to get the tree, get out, and not bang him under the Fraser firs. It should be easy, right?

Ringing Christmas In (ao3) - SquigglySky steve/tony E, 2k

Summary: "Well, Merry fucking Christmas.."

In which Steve hasn't been home for three weeks and Tony's gone that time on dry spell. Night before Christmas-smut ensues.

Simple Things (ao3) - Kellyscams steve/bucky E, 3k

Summary: Steve wanted to do something special for Bucky this year. So he decided to make him an Advent Calendar and fill them with coupons--one for every day leading up to Christmas. Now all Steve has to do is survive the last day...

And the little surprises that Bucky has in store for him as well.

Switching it up (ao3) - Si_obi darcy/loki, jane/thor E, 5k

Summary: Darcy and Loki realise that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

The Christmas porn you didn't ask for (ao3) - Bishmonster bucky/darcy E, 1k

Summary: Christmas porn.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (ao3) - the_irish_mayhem jane/thor E, 5k

Summary: Jane and Thor do Christmas. (Finally.)

Tis the season for holiday smut.

Unwrapped (ao3) - nightwalker steve/bucky E, 4k

Summary: Tony and Steve each have a surprise for the other. Turns out they were thinking along similar lines.

When the Snow Melts (ao3) - emptydistractions steve/bucky E, 4k

Summary: It's the first time Bucky's been off suppressants in nearly a century and all Steve wants is for his mate to be okay. Luckily, Christmas Eve has a little surprise in store for them.

[justagirlinafandomworld]

I posted 2,626 times in 2022

219 posts created (8%)

2,407 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@firefly-in-darkness

@justagirlinafandomworld

@princessmisery666

@deanwinchesterswitch

@gone-to-fight-the-fairies

I tagged 2,581 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#mcu - 307 posts

#just a girl reading fics - 280 posts

#spn - 262 posts

#dean winchester - 150 posts

#jensen ackles - 98 posts

#movies - 96 posts

#dean winchester x reader - 94 posts

#ffc4 sign ups - 90 posts

#flash fiction challenge 4 - 89 posts

#comment reblog - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#but if that's what happens that's what happens i'll go prepare my flight to jump in a volcano it's cool i always wanted to go to hawaii

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

MESS

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: You learn the side effects of sex pollen first hand. Bucky doesn't know what to do. But Dean does.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Language. Sex pollen. Oral Sex (Female Receiving). First time writing for: Established polyamory & DD/LG relationship.

Word Count: 1k (plus 4 little words!)

Prompts: She’s pulling on the sheets. | “She might be your girl, but she’s calling me Daddy.” | A GIF described in bold.

A/N: Written for the fabulous @negans-lucille-tblr and her birthday bash! Happy birthday Bee! Hope you get lots of presents! 💗

He ran his hands back through his hair, the sounds of your moans driving him up the wall. You scratched at the door like a trapped animal and it was all Bucky could do not to open it.

Something was wrong.

Had been wrong since you came back from your last hunt.

“Baby,” you whined through the door. “Please…”

He had made a call to the one person who would know what the fuck was going on and who hadn’t gone that far after dropping you off.

“Dean,” he greeted upon opening the front door.

“James.”

“Did I interrupt something,” Bucky guessed, eyeing the suit and tie that was in place of the usual flannel and blue jeans.

“It doesn’t matter. Based on everything you’ve told me, you’re not going to like what needs to be done.” The sound of you falling to the floor in the bedroom behind them interrupted Dean and both he and Bucky turned to the door.

“You’ll help her feel better?”

Dean paused at the genuine concern in Bucky’s voice. He had nothing against the man, they both just so happened to be in love with the same woman. And the agreement to keep their relationships separate was about to change in a drastic way.

“You’re gonna wanna brace yourself before we go in there. She’s your girl, right,” Dean waited for Bucky to nod before he took a deep breath and continued. “The moment we walk in there, she’s going to be calling me Daddy.”

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. But when Bucky made a face, one that clearly expressed confusion but the willingness to punch him, Dean shrugged and walked past him to at least hide it.

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99 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

#4

Welcome to the reading list for January 2022!

Take a dive into some wonderful fic that I had the pleasure of reading this month. From fluffy drabbles to angst multi-part fics, you can find a little bit of everything for that particular mood you are in.

Summaries and warnings have been provided as listed by writers. Remember, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Read what you like and share what you love. ❤

Happy reading!

2022 reading list | fic rec masterlist

Beautiful dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

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103 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#3

I always loved this scene haha

Maybe one where the reader sits in the backseat? Or something completely different. Go nuts

Thank you for the request, sweetie! I decided to go nuts 🥰

Title: Time Warp

Word Count: 245

Summary: You and Dean are stuck in a time warp, jumping from one of his memories to another with no end in sight.

Warnings: Time travel. The image of two Deans in one space. Crack, fluff – Look this is really just meant to be fun.

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125 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#2

I'm excited to share all the new fics I've read for the month of June, from my own exploration to taking part in the Champion Week challenge hosted by the fabulous @cockslutpadalecki and @maladaptivexxdaydreaming. Thank you, both of you for hosting this fantastic event that introduced me to the talents of new writers. And, of course, I want to say a great big THANK YOU to the writers on this list. You are incredible, thank you for sharing your works on this hellsite. ❤️

This list is alphabetical by fandom (mostly), then by character. Summaries and warnings are included as provided by the authors.

Read what you like and share what you love!

2022 reading list | fic rec masterlist

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

See the full post

127 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Title: Drowning in Silence

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Gen!Reader

Word Count: 894

Summary: Silence feeds the insecurities deep within. You can either drown in it, or break it.

Warnings: ANGST. Break-up. Low self-worth.

Bingo Squares Filled: @spnmixedbingo – dream sequence. @howbadcanitbebingo - woke up, and it was all a dream.

A/N: This is written for @negans-lucille-tblr ‘s nlthreenager writing challenge, celebrating her blog’s three-year anniversary with so many good angsty prompts. My prompt was you can’t deny how hard I tried from the song Easy On Me by Adele. Watch out Bee, I may be back for more! To everyone, I hope this breaks your heart just a lil’. 😘

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

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131 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

This is amazing. I love my longest tag! Pretty sure it was one of my heartfelt reactions to @jawritter 's Too Close to Gone which is a Dean series I still highly recommend.

And thank you everyone for supporting my Dean stories. This really was his year.

[saratinz]

Fine China

pairing ➩ Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Natasha x Sam (Modern AU)

warnings ➩ depression, addiction, alcohol, pills, angst, sad ending, cheating

synopsis ➩ Based off 'Fine China' by Lana Del Rey

word count ➩ 1.9k

You stare at the white dress you once loved so dearly. “Yeah, of course you can have it, Natasha.” 

“I’m so sorry this happened to you again. I know what I’m asking is insensitive, but this, it really means a lot.” 

“It’s okay, Nat. You’re going to look stunning. I’ve been left on my wedding day, twice, think I have a problem, and until I figure that out, I can’t be anywhere near this shit.”

“Thank you so much. God I love you.”

“I love you too. I’m so happy for you.” 

“I know this is asking a lot, but will you be my maid of honor?”

“I’d love to.” You put on your best fake smile. But as soon as she leaves, you slide down your wall, screaming to numb the pain you’ve been through in 

Four years ago

I wore diamonds for the birth of your baby

For the birth of your son

Steve Rogers always wanted a child, just his fatherly nature I guess. His ex-wife, Margaret, has always been a third in your relationship. You get the call while getting your makeup and hair done, quickly getting off your chair to drive to the hospital. You were shocked that this baby is coming out, considering it a month before his due date. Peggy manages to look gorgeous even while going through one of the most painful things known to man. “Hey sweetheart, can we talk in private for a second?” Steve pulls you into the hall.

“Oh, of course.” 

On the same day, my husband-to-be

Packed his things to run

“I’m so sorry , Y/n, my family is the most important thing to me right now.”

“I thought I was your family.”

“I love them.”

“I know that but do you really, y’know, love her that way?”

“I do.”

“You were supposed to say that to me.” You half-heartedly chuckle.

“Can you not joke right now.”

“Fuck you Steve. I gave up everything for you, I listened to you, I stayed with you after you cheated on me and impregnated Peggy, I was even gonna raise a child with you at 25.”

Was bittersweet to say the least

One life begins, one comes undone

You drive away from the hospital, speeding home to drink copious amounts of alcohol.

I've always been a strong woman of faith

Strong like a tree, but the unlucky one

You haven’t cried in years. When you went through your first break-up, you vowed never to cry over a boy again. And you didn’t. But right now, in this situation, you figure that it constitutes a few tears.

I'm going down now

With all of my

You feel broken. After suppressing every painful event in your life for nine years, you finally express your emotions. It’s a rough night, and all you could do was cry until you couldn’t anymore.

Fine china and fresh linen

All of my dresses with them tags still on them

You get a storage unit, and keep everything from your wedding that never happened, hoping that one day, you would get to use it for real.

Fine china and dull silver

My white horses and my ivory almonds

“You’re a beautiful girl, sure you want to mess with this stuff.”

“Give me the goddamn pills, Luke.”

I guess they really got the best of us, didn't they?

They said that love was enough, but it wasn’t

You think of the time you almost broke up with Steve. It was when Peggy found out she was pregnant, but the two of you had been together for a year, meaning that he cheated without a doubt. Your friends tried to help, but the best they could muster was a question. “Do you love him?”

“I do, yeah.”

“Then maybe that’s your answer.”

The Earth shattered, the sky opened 

The rain was fire, but we were wooden

All hell broke loose, as all of your friends found out Steve left you. Some of them were understanding, some of them dropped him immediately. One of those being Bucky Barnes, who was the only person who didn’t talk to you like you could break at any moment. And over the next year, you fell in love, the next year you got engaged. And now, three years after Steve broke your heart, you find yourself getting ready to be wed. You can’t believe you’re finally going to live your dream. 

I wore diamonds for the day of our wedding

For our day in the sun

You felt beautiful in your dress. “Y/n . We need to talk.”

“Buck, you’re not supposed to see me, it’s like, bad luck or whatever.” You let out a little laugh. You were never the superstitious type.

On the same day, my mother-to-be said she wouldn't come

“My mom, she’s not coming.”

“Oh god, is she sick or something. It would be a little tricky, but we could figure out rescheduling.”

“No, she’s just refusing to come.”

“I thought your mom liked me. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you, it’s just, I told her about your little pill problem.”

“What are you talking about”

“Don’t play dumb, I know you’re not on anti-depressants like you say. I may not be a doctor but I have Google.”

It's always been that way with me

No time for change, no time for fun

“Okay I’m sorry for lying, but what gave you the right to rifle through my stuff, and then talk to your mom  instead of me about it?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what? Wait, you’re not talking about, no, what the fuck James? No, this, it can’t be happening again.”

It's always been that way, it seems

One love begins, one comes undone

“I’m so sorry, Y/n, I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t sit back and watch as you kill yourself.”

“Oh my god, so you’re leaving me because I like to relax.”

“It’s not just pills you’re addicted to, you’re addicted to me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means you’re like a leach, sucking the life force out of me. You’re never satisfied.”

“I didn’t want you to leave like Steve did.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“I do.”

“I’m never gonna hear you say those words, am I?”

“I don’t know, Y/n, maybe one day.”

I'm going down now

With all of my

“So, I’ll do whatever I have to, I wanna be with you, I’ll get help. I’ll go to therapy, I’ll do whatever it takes, just please. Please.”

“I love you, Y/n, I always will.”

Fine china and fresh linen

All of my dresses with them tags still on them

Back to your storage unit, everything goes. You really thought this was it. You’re a fucking idiot.

Fine china and dull silver

My white horses and my ivory almonds

You try to get clean, and you manage to stay that way for three months. But one day, when you couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky and your sponsor was on vacation, you take a little trip to your favorite dealer. “Hey, haven’t seen you in awhile. You getting sober or something?”

“Went to rehab, stayed off drugs for a guy. I’m just gonna ruin my chance with him, I guess.”

“You sure you wanna do that?”

“Fuck him, I need to think about me.”

I guess they really got the best of us, didn't they?

They said that love was enough, but it wasn’t

“I’m using again Bucky, and I’m not gonna stop.”

“Please don’t do this.”

The Earth shattered, the sky opened

The rain was fire, but we were wooden

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, me too.”

Present day

All of my, all of my fine china

After five drinks and two pills, you get up on the little stage area that was set up.

All of my, all of my fine china

“Hey guys, as the maid of honor, I would like to say congratulations to my best friend and her wonderful new husband, Sam. But oh my god, if I hear anyone compliment the table cloth, dishes, decor, or god forbid the dress, I’m going to scream.”

All of my, all of my fine china

“Funny story actually, this was all supposed to be for my wedding. Bucky, where are you? Oh there he is. Handsome, right? Kind of an asshole but if you’re looking for a hook up, I highly recommend. He’s my ex who left me on our wedding day, so, yikes.”

Blue, ah, blue

“She stole my whole wedding. Hell she even stole the lingerie I was planning on wearing for my wedding night. So none of this planning is hers is what I’m trying to say. Guess I could be a fucking wedding planner or something. Ha, wouldn’t that be ironic, the girl who can’t seem to get married helping other people live her dream.”

All of my, all of my fine china

Natasha looks furious. But she didn’t want to stop you. She had done something pretty fucked up too, and even though you said you were okay, she knew you. She knew the pain you were going through. Not from experience though, only listening. She could never fully comprehend the damage done.

All of my, all of my fine china

You continue to embarrass yourself, but you’re too cross-faded to care.

Blue, ah

“Is anyone else still thinking about how weird it is that she’s wearing my underwear? I mean, I never wore them but it still seems a bit strange. Here’s a little secret, that’s her something blue.”

Fine china and fresh linen

All of my dresses with them tags still on them

The next morning, you wake with the worst hangover of your life. Oh shit, you ruined Nat’s wedding. As if things couldn’t get any worse, you’re not even in your apartment. Where the fuck are you?

Fine china and dull silver

My white horses and my ivory almonds

“Hey sleepyhead.” 

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“What the fuck happened last night?”

“You don’t remember? We had sex.”

“Oh god, what about Peggy?”

“She’s a bitch, I never should have left you.”

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”

“What’s wrong baby?”

“You’re a terrible person. I need to go.” You scurry out of that hell-scape, cursing your drunk self.

I guess they really got the best of us, didn't they?

They said that love was enough, but it wasn’t

“I’d like to check into rehab again.” 

“That’s good Y/n.”

“I have one question, though.”

“What is it?”

“You were never gonna get back together with me, right? I mean it was pretty good incentive, but you were never serious.”

“No, we still have a chance.”

“Cut the shit Bucky. You don’t have to lie to me, just stop playing with my emotions.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Goodbye James.”

The Earth shattered, the sky opened

The rain was fire, but we were wooden

“Here you go. Everything you asked for is there.” Nat gives you boxes upon boxes of your wedding stuff back. 

Fine china, fine china, fine china

You break every plate, cup, and bowl.

Fresh linen, fresh linen, fresh linen

You burn every table cloth, napkin, and the dress you now hate with your whole heart.

Maybe one day you’ll get married, but you needed this stuff gone, and you needed to never think about it again. So far all you’ve gotten out of your engagements was depression, addiction, and some shards of fine china.

Masterlist / Spinoff series