#I tried so hard to slow it down and get that ass in profile

[inchidentally]

Oscar playing padel recently via piastrifans81

god that deep moan he does needs to be stored in my memory)

I need these videos of him to be a whole lot better quality bc I just know the piasstri and piastiddies have got crazy recoil

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

Bring Your Kid To Work Day (BAU x Single Dad!Reader)

This turned out exceedingly long but I couldn't get the idea out of my head so I just had to write it out. I personally really wanna be a dad one day (with or without a partner) and seeing how the BAU parents handle their kids always warms my heart so much.

Wordcount: 5.4k

warning: kidnapping

Summery: Being a single dad is hard. Like really hard, and you thought that maybe bringing your son with you into work just once would be okay. Especially when his school was shut down but...

The blaring of the alarm woke you up from sweet elusive sleep.

You debated letting it ring but your arm went out to expertly turn it off.

7:09 A.M.

you wiped the sleep from your eyes and grabbed your phone from beside your alarm clock, being greeted by the single worst email you could have ever gotten. Your son's daycare was closed.

Your son attended a small local daycare, the entire facility had three teachers and two other employees, all off which —along with most of the kids as of recently— had come down with the flu. You sighed, discarding any thought of getting yourself ready before you found a solution to your childcare problem.

You had to be at Quantico in two hours and the drive alone took almost an hour. You called every single babysitter you knew, you were desperate but none were able to come by on such short notice so for lack of a better option you got yourself ready as fast as you could and went to wake up your son for a trip to Quantico. You just hoped it wouldn't bite you in the ass.

When you finally walked through the glass doors of the BAU offices you were half an hour late and carrying a sleeping four year old on your hip along with a baby bag over your shoulder to go with your usual briefcase.

Your out of sorts appearance got the attention of your coworkers and while you tried to put everything away by your desk and balance your still sleeping son in your arms, Morgan came up to you.

"What's all this L/N?" He asked and you turned and smiled at him, a smile that looked more insane than kind.

"This, is my son who is still sleeping from the drive because his daycare is closed and I couldn't get a sitter in time" You said, an underlying warning tone to your words.

"What you forgot to book a sitter?" Reid asked from his place at his desk.

"I didn't forget, they just sent the email this morning. All three teachers came down with the flu... along with most of the class" You explained and Spencer scooted away from you and the sleeping boy in your arms.

"Calm down Reid, this kid's immune system is like something out of a comic book, he's fine." You said as the rest of your teammates came over to join the scene.

JJ along with Rossi coming to join the gaggle of profilers ignoring their work for the far more interesting show of their coworker with his son.

"Did you talk to Hotch about it? I mean, about him being here" JJ asked, pointing to the toddler in your arms and you nodded. As a fellow single parent Hotch understood enough to give you the okay to bring your son to work, after all it was supposed to just be a slow day to get paperwork done.

Just then he began to stir in your arms and you decided to sit down, adjusting the four year old so that he was sitting comfortably in your lap.

"Hey buddy, good morning" You said, moving some stray hair behind his ear so it wouldn't bother him.

The toddler didn't seem to enjoy being awake though, instead choosing to burrow his head into the crook of your neck, much to the amusement of the rest of the team.

"He's a cute little guy, I'll give you that" Rossi said and you chuckled. He really is.

"He is but he's also a menace once he really wakes up, I'm sorry ahead of time for that. He's a curious little thing and he still doesn't understand boundaries, like at all" You say, grimacing knowing in only a little bit you son would surely be running around trying to find everything he could play with in the bullpen.

Honestly the more you thought about it the worse of an idea bringing him to work was, not that you had much of a choice. It was that or take the day off and that wouldn't have been ideal either.

"Developmentally that's actually completely normal, kids can't actually conceptualize the concept of another person with no interest in them until they're a bit older—" Reid started to explain but Rossi cuts him off.

"You can take my office. That way the little sucker has a limited space to wreak havoc in" He said and you looked at him gratefully.

"You really don't have to do that" You said but he shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, it'll help all of us in the long run, just try not to let him trash the place" He said and you smiled.

"Thank you" You said and were about to transfer your files to his office when Morgan suddenly grabbed your baby bag and briefcase.

"Let me help" He said and you smiled again, thanking him and taking your still groggy toddler up the stairs and to Rossi's office.

About an hour later you went down to get yourself some coffee. It was the first time you left Rossi's office since you got settled and the italian man came up to you to see how everything was going. He'd moved his own paperwork to your desk in the meantime.

"How's the pipsqueak?" He asked and you smiled, pointing with your head to the office.

"He's great, drawing quietly on the floor— and don't worry if he gets crayons on your floor I'll clean it up" You hurried to say but Dave didn't look worried.

"Don't worry about it, are you managing to get anything done?" He asked.

"Yeah, he explored the office for a bit but now he's good. Thanks again by the way, it's a huge help" You said and Dave patted you on the back.

"That's good" He said but turned once he saw his office door open in his peripheral and you heard the soft pitter patter of small feet running down the stairs.

"Daddy! Daddy! Look what I drew!" Your son yelled as he ran into your legs and shoved a piece of paper into your hands.

"It's you and me in your office" He said, showing you the picture of a crudely drawn man and child holding hands in an office.

You bent down to look at the drawing at his level.

"That's wonderful sweetie but it's not my office, you see Mr. Rossi is letting me work in his office while you're here with me at work" You explained and pointed to Dave who gave a small wave at the boy.

"Hey buddy" He said and your son gave a small wave back.

The little guy's running got the attention of the rest of the team including one eccentric technical analyst.

"Well what do we have here?" Garcia asked as she along with Reid and JJ came up to the three of you.

"Aren't you a little cutie" Garcia said, kneeling down to pinch your son's cheeks.

"Guys, this is my son Danny, Danny these are my friends Ms. Garcia, Ms. Jereu and Doctor Reid, and of course Mr. Rossi whos letting us use his office" You said introducing the team to your son but also your son to your coworkers.

"You look a little old to be friends with my Dad" Danny told Rossi and the rest of the team that had gathered around burst out laughing.

"Danny! We don't say that. That's very rude" You scolded him but he looked confused.

"But he looks old, like grandpa" Danny said and you had to hold back from laughing because he had a point.

"Danny, those are the kinds of thoughts we keep inside our heads, not outside" You told him and he nodded. It was a conversation you'd had multiple times before and was easier for him to understand than social rules at this stage.

"Can you apologize to Mr. Rossi?" You asked and he did exactly that.

"I'm sorry" He said and Rossi smiled.

"It's fine kid, I am a relic of a better time" Rossi said humorously.

"Hey Danny do you wanna see something cool?" Garcia asked and that got the four year olds attention.

"Yeah!" He yelled and you were about to remind him to use his inside voice when instead Garcia took his hand and lead him to her famously cool batcave. But of course just as things were going fine the universe had to turn the tables.

"Guys, conference room now, we have a case" Hotch said, coming out of his office and you sighed.

The rest of the assembled team looked at you before heading to the conference room, leaving you alone with Rossi.

"Well that's just great" You said, massaging your temple.

"It'll be fine, we all understand if you stay back this time" Rossi said, walking with you to the round table room.

"I still feel bad about it" You said.

You were about to grab Hotch to tell him you'd do exactly what Rossi suggested when Reid came up to you. He hadn't actually entered the conference room yet and had heard your short conversation.

"You're gonna stay back?" He asked you.

"It's not like I have much of a choice, what am I gonna do? take him with us?" You asked and though it was rhetorical Reid answered.

"You could. You could stay at the local precinct and help me with the geographic profile" The younger man said.

"Reid, I can't just bring bring a four year old with me on a case" You tried to explain.

"But it's obvious you can work while he's around. Besides not having you there with us would throw off the entire balance of the team" To a point he was right. You'd been with the BAU for over a decade and in that time you'd only missed a small handful of cases (most of which because you were too sick to work). The team was used to relying on you.

"Besides most hotels have babysitting services and we'll be there to help you" He continued.

"I'm really not sure, it was enough of a stretch just to bring him here" You tried to say but Hotch came out to tell you both to join the team.

"Hotch—" You started to say but he cut you off.

"I heard part of the conversation, do whatever you feel comfortable doing but your input on this case would be invaluable. The decision is up to you but I'd appreciate it if you joined us for the briefing anyways" He said and you nodded.

"Okay, I'll just go get Danny set up" You said.

"Garcia already set him up with markers and coloring pages in Rossi's office" He said and you nodded, taking a deep breath you joined them for the briefing.

As soon as Hotch began introducing the case you realized why he said your input specifically would be useful. Someone was abducting parents in Seattle but had recently changed his MO and began abducting the kids with them and most recently, just a kid. Hence why the BAU were called in and Hotch was hoping to use your experience from the crimes against children unit to work the case. You'd worked in crimes against children for 6 years before joining the BAU and had the most experience working child abductions. If the unsub had started going after kids you were the the best person for the case. Except of course that you had your own child to worry about.

"Wheels up in 30" Hotch said as everyone dispersed and you went to tell him your decision.

"I'm going with you" You told him.

"And Danny?" He asked.

"If it's okay with you I'll bring him with me. He's a well behaved kid, he won't bother us, I promise" You explained and Hotch nodded.

"Okay" He said.

When you told Danny he would be coming with you he was over the moon. Of course he didn't really understand what you would be there to do but he was so excited he was jumping around Rossi's office.

"Do I get a badge like you do daddy?" He asked and you chuckled.

"Yeah, we can get you your own badge if you want but you have to be on your very best behavior okay buddy?" You asked and he nodded feverently.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" He said.

He was so excited when he saw the jet and then even more so when you pulled a few strings to let him sit with the pilot in the cockpit (mostly so he wouldn't hear the team discuss the details of the case and their theories).

When you made it to the local precinct Danny was so tired from the six hour journey he couldn't walk on his own so you carried him in your arms. You could feel the strange looks of the local officers but you didn't care instead you found a small couch you could lay Danny on until he woke up.

"What's with the kid?" The detective in charge of the case asked Hotch.

"For agent L/N to be here he has to as well" Hotch said and the detective nodded, mostly because you were approaching and he didn't want to be rude and continue asking questions.

"Agent L/N, this is detective Alden, detective this is SSA Y/N L/N" Hotch introduced and you shook detective Alden's hand. "It's nice to meet you" You said, the rest of the team were already divvying up the work with Reid starting a geographic profile, JJ and Morgan going to analyze the most recent crime scene and Rossi at the ME's looking at the the most recent body. This of course left you and hotch to interview the family of the most recent missing child.

"Do you uh— need anything for the kid?" Detective Alden asked.

"No thank you, Doctor Reid's keeping an eye on his as he's working while Agent Hotchner an I interview the family" You explained and the detective nodded.

"Right, well the most recent vic's parents are waiting in an interview room if you wanna talk to them" The detective said and pointed you in the direction of the room.

Spencer was so far into his mind he didn't even realize that Danny (whom was resting on a couch in the room with him) had woken up until he suddenly felt a pull at his tie.

Looking down, it was Danny. The little boy was wiping the sleep from his eyes as he started to speak.

"Where's my dad?" He asked. Spencer smiled and turned to give the boy his full attention.

"Your dad's working right now but he'll be back soon. Do you need something? Are you thirsty? Hungry?" He asked and Danny nodded.

"I want juice" He said and Spencer smiled, remembering you'd told him everything he'd need would be in the baby bag.

"Do you know in what pocket your dad keeps the juice?" Spencer asked but Danny shook his head.

"That's alright, we'll find it together" He said.

Once they did, spencer helped stick the straw into Danny's juice box and gave it to him along with some pretzels he found tucked away with other snacks in the same pocket.

"What were you doing?" Danny asked.

"Oh— I was creating geographic profile" Spencer answered and Danny tilted his head in confusion.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Well it's one of the things we do to find out more about the bad guy we're trying to catch" Spencer said, trying to keep it as kid friendly as possible.

"Are you trying to catch a bad guy now? Is that what my dad is doing?" Danny asked and Spencer nodded.

"Yeah, it's what all of us do" He said and that got Danny excited.

"Does that mean I get to help catch a bad guy?" The little boy asked and Spencer started to sweat, he didn't want to disappoint the boy by telling him was in fact not going to catch the bad guy but he didn't know what else to say. He wasn't going to lie.

"Well..."

"Reid!" Hotch called from outside the room and Spencer had never been happier to see what was going on.

"Just a moment Danny" He said and went to talk to his boss.

"Another body was just found behind the North Star diner on Greenwood Avenue" Hotch said.

"The most recent abductee?" Spencer asked.

"Local PD haven't ID'd him yet but it looks like it" Hotch answered.

"Greenwood is only 1.8 miles from here, it's way outside his comfort zone"

"I know, see if there's any connection between there and any of the other locations" Hotch instructed and Reid nodded, getting back to work.

"Dr. Reid, I'm bored" Danny said once he re-entered the room. For a second Reid completely forgot the four year old was even there.

"Don't you wanna draw?" Reid asked.

"Not anymore" The toddler said, shaking his head.

"I want my daddy" He said.

"Uh, well—" Almost as if on cue one of the rookie local officers came in with you and Danny ran into your leg. Meanwhile the rookie gave Reid some files Garcia had sent over.

"Daddy!" Danny said and you smiled, petting his head.

"Hey buddy, have you been good for Dr. Reid?" You asked and he nodded.

"But I'm really bored." Danny said.

"Well I have to work but maybe you and officer Parker can go to the library across the street? Get something to read?" You suggested. Officer Parker had brought in the parents of the most recent victim. She'd only been on the force for a week and you could tell she was a bit faint when it came to this case.

"Okay!" Danny said and went over to the rookie cop.

"Are you sure?" Officer Parker asked and you nodded.

"Call me if you need anything" You said, you trusted her enough to spend half an hour with Danny and the library was only a two minute walk from the station. Besides you had to go to the crime scene and Reid was obviously out of his depth trying to both work and entertain a four year old.

"Alright" She said and led Danny out of the precinct.

"You seem a lot calmer" Reid pointed out.

"we're getting closer to getting this guy and that means we can get back to D.C sooner" You admitted and he nodded.

When you got back from the crime scene you were able to finally give the profile.

The entire team along with most of the precinct were assembled and Morgan started you off.

"We believe our unsub is a white man in his late thirties to early forties with some kind of fantasy revolving around parenthood."

"He's moved on from kidnapping parents alone to parents along with their kids and most recently just the kid. This means his fantasy's evolving and with it his MO. The first victims were on their way to pick up their kids from school, then two parents out on a date, a family on an outing and most recently a child walking home from a friend's house." JJ continued.

"He holds his victims for up to three days before he kills them, we think this for them to participate in his fantasy" Hotch said.

"And when that doesn't work or they don't cooperate fully he kills them by slitting their throats" Rossi finished.

"This man is already looking for his next victim. following this evolving pattern he seems to have realized he can get what he wants best by abducting only the child so warn parents and schools and question any adult acting suspicious in areas with unsupervised children" You said.

"This unsub has left his comfort zone, perhaps because of police presence and is devolving. He's holding his victims for shorter periods and it is likely his kills will become more erratic." Reid said.

"It's imperative we catch him now before he has the chance to take another victim" Hotch added finally before dispersing the crowd of officers.

You checked your watch, it's been almost an hour since officer Parker left with Danny.

"Have you seen officer Parker?" You asked one of the officers close to you and he shook his head.

"Is everything alright?" Hotch asked.

"I told officer Parker to take Danny to a library across the street, she was getting too nervous to be of any help and Danny really wanted to go out and do something but they haven't gotten back yet and I haven't heard anything from Parker" You explained.

"She has your personal number?" Hotch asked and you nodded.

"Something's wrong, I told her to call if anything happens" You said.

"Go over there, make sure everything's okay, we'll call if anything's urgent" Hotch said and you nodded a thank you.

"I'll only be few minutes" You said and left, trying to tell yourself everything was fine.

Everything was in fact not okay and when you got to the library you saw a police radio on the ground along with a book.

"No, no, no, no" You muttered to yourself as you dialed Hotch as quick as you could.

"Agent Hotchner—" He said once he answered but you cut him off.

"They're gone" You said, panic in your voice.

"What?" Hotch asked.

"They're gone. There's a police radio and a book matching Danny's reading level on the ground but they're not here and— Hotch they're gone!" You said.

"We're on our way" He said. Within minutes the team as well as multiple officers were at the library. The scene was photographed and morgan and JJ went inside to see what could be seen on the security cameras.

Hotch was speaking with detective Alden since one of his officers had also disappeared and Reid and Rossi were trying to keep you calm and walk you through what you knew.

"Did you give them a time frame for when to come back?" Rossi asked and you shook your head.

"No, but I told them to go get something for him to read, it doesn't take long, it— they should have been back" You said and Reid gave you a cup of water to help you calm down.

"It'll be okay, we know he keeps them for up to three days, we'll find them Y/N" Rossi said, trying to comfort you.

"I thought it would be fine, it was only across the street and we're nowhere near his abduction comfort zone, I— I thought he'd be safe" You tried to say.

"I knew this was a bad idea, I should have stayed back, I could have helped you from Quantico, I—"

"Y/N it's not your fault. We'll find them and they'll be fine. JJ and Morgan are going through the security tapes now. If he took them from the street we'll find him" Reid said, putting a hand on your shoulder, something you knew was hard for him.

"I'm a terrible father" You murmured but Rossi heard you.

"You are not a terrible father. You did what you thought was best and as soon as you realized something was wrong you acted on your instincts. You did everything right" Rossi said but you shook your head.

"I brought my four year old to a city with a devolving sociopath kidnapping and murdering children" You replied.

"He has officer Parker with him, the unsub took both of them probably under the assumption that Parker was his mother" Rossi reminded you.

"Yeah, Danny has her until our unsub realizes she isn't his mom and he kills her because she doesn't fit into his delusion." You reminded him back but you didn't have any more time to argue or spiral into your fears because Morgan and JJ came back out of the library with a photo.

"We found him" Morgan announced and you ran over to him.

"Garcia's running his image through facial recognition but this is him, there was clear footage of him using a knife to Danny to force Parker to put down her radio and follow him." JJ said but she saw this wasn't calming your nerves.

"We'll find them Y/N" She said and you nodded, you had to believe her because the other option wasn't something you could even bring yourself to imagine.

Danny sat, huddled into himself in the corner of a dark room. He wanted to scream when he felt the strange man's hands around him in front of the library but his mouth was covered by the man's hand. Now all he could do was cry, hoping you'd come to save him.

"I want my daddy" He cried when officer Parker—whose name he found out was Jenny— woke up. The strange man had knocked her out with the back of the knife once he had her in the back of the car.

"I know, we'll get out of here and he'll find us. Don't worry Danny" She said and Danny nodded. He didn't have any other choice, his young brain couldn't comprehend the alternative.

Soon the door to the small room they were both locked in opened and a man came in. He was pushing 40, with a receding hairline and a salt and pepper beard.

"Hey there little guy, how are you feeling?" The man asked but Danny just cowered into the corner.

"Don't be scared, look what I brought you" He said, pulling out a teddy bear.

"Isn't it nice what daddy brought you?" He asked, crouching down to Danny's height to give him the toy.

"You're not my daddy" Danny said quietly and that seemed to upset the man.

"You shouldn't say things like that, that's very mean. You should say you're sorry" He said, slowly standing up to tower over the young boy.

"I, I— I want my daddy" Danny cried and the unsub gritted his teeth.

"Don't you dare touch him" Jenny said, pulling together all her courage.

"Oh, is mommy getting protective?" The unsub asked, stalking towards where Jenny was laying, hands tied behind her back.

"I'm not— Just don't touch him. You are in so much more trouble than you know asshole. His dad's an FBI agent and when he finds out you took his son—"

"I'm his dad! I am! And if you're not his mother you're not of any use to me" He said, taking a knife out of his pocket.

The last thing Jenny heard was Danny's screams.

An hour later Jenny's body was discovered at a public parking lot at 63rd avenue. Her throat had been slit.

By then Garcia had found a match for the unsub.

The man who took Danny was one Edward Pugh, a 43 year old now single white man. He worked as a part time security guard and was living out of his late mother's old house on 39th avenue in Wedgewood. It was close enough that he could easily drive between his home (which was most likely the secondary location), the abduction sits and the dumpsites. As soon as you had his address everyone was getting ready to head there. You included. You strapped yourself tightly into your bullet proof vest and made sure your gun was loaded.

"Are you sure you want to be there?" Rossi asked and you resolutely nodded.

"There is no way in hell I'm not the first person my son sees once he's out of this mess" You said.

"But Rossi, I want you to lead the negotiation. Everything about this guy tells us he's not going to just give Danny up so, I want you to be the one who talks him down" You said and Rossi nodded.

"Of course, I'll tell Hotch" He said.

When you arrived outside the house the local PD already had the place surrounded within minutes Morgan was kicking down the door and you were faced with the most horrifying sight you've seen on the job.

Edward Pugh held Danny in his grasp, a knife to his neck as he backed into a corner.

"Don't move!" He yelled.

"Don't move or I'll kill him! I'll do it! Don't make me!" He said and you could see the fear in Danny's eyes.

"Daddy" He called and you could see Edward's hold on him tighten.

"Shut up!" He yelled at the boy.

Rossi came up, his gun lowered even as everyone else kept Edward in shooting range.

"Edward, put the knife down" Rossi said slowly.

"No. No. You're going to take him away" Edward said and you had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from speaking. He was right, you were going to take your son back.

"You care about him, don't you? You don't wanna hurt him" Rossi continued and Edward nodded.

"He's my son" Edward said. "But I will hurt him if you don't leave us alone"

"Edward, we just want the boy to be safe. Put the knife down and we can talk—" "No!" He yelled and you could see blood start to drip down Danny's throat.

"You're hurting him Edward. Put the knife down." You said, repeating Rossi's words.

"We won't take him. We just don't want anyone to get hurt. Okay, put the knife down, he'll stay with you just, put the knife down Edward" Rossi said and slowly he did so, though he still had his arm wrapped around Danny's shoulders.

You took a big breath of relief, at least there wasn't a knife held to his throat anymore.

"Daddy, please help me" Danny said, his big eyes watering as he looked at you and you smiled at your son.

"It'll be okay sweetheart. Just do what he says, you'll be okay" You told him. Making sure not to acknowledge his words, knowing it would only enrage Edward.

"You're doing this because you wanna prove you're a good father right?" Rossi asked and Edward nodded.

Garcia had told you all that Edward's wife had divorced him a few years back and right before the killings began she got full custody of their son.

"The thing is Edward, you have to prove that with your own kid. You can't prove you're a good father by taking someone else's child. This won't prove to your wife that you can be a father and it definitely won't prove it to the court" Rossi explained.

"Let the child go Edward. Let him go back to his father" Morgan said. carefully lowering his gun as did the rest of you.

"You did good Edward. Cooperate and that just might change your wife's mind" Rossi said and slowly Edward's arms fell from around Danny's shoulders.

You quickly holstered your gun and dropped to your knees, arms wide open allowing Danny to run into your embrace.

"Daddy!" He cried, all the fear and pain coming out in sobs. You heard Morgan cuff Edward and the police take him away but your focus was entirely on your son.

You pet his head and back, kissing his cheeks and whispering comforting words until he slowly calmed down enough for you to take him to the medics.

He refused to let go of you, something you very well expected along with the sudden shyness and anxiety around anyone he didn't know. Surprisingly enough when Reid came to check on you both he ran into his arms and hid his head in the crook of his neck, just like he did with you. It seemed the time they spent together in the precinct firmly situated Reid as someone safe.

Once Danny was cleared by the medics you took him back to the precinct sitting with him, playing with some of the toys you kept in his baby bag.

"Y/N" Hotch said, coming into the room and getting both your and Danny's attention. Danny scooted closer to you but didn't do anything else as you stood up to meet your boss eye to eye.

Hotch tilted his head towards the door, he wanted to talk outside but as you were about to follow him out Danny grabbed your pant leg.

"No! Don't go!" He cried and you had to steel your face so you wouldn't begin to sob all over again.

"Don't worry buddy, I'll be right outside" You tried to explain but he wasn't having it.

"No! No! don't go!" He cried and you sighed taking him into your arms to try to calm him down.

"Is it urgent?" You asked but Hotch, somewhat surprisingly shook his head.

"We'll talk about it on the jet" He said and you smiled thankfully.

He understood. So did the rest of the team when you began taking more days off, sometimes because like before childcare plans fell through and sometimes simply because you needed time with your son. But either way they understood.

[shadowisles-writes]

Innocent (Part 1) [Elucien]

A/N: Here is the first part of my gift to @kingofsummer93 for the ACOTAR gift exchange <3 A big thank you to everyone behind @acotargiftexchange, this is always one of the loveliest events of the year!

Summary: Lucien had always thought his life would be normal—or as normal as it could be growing up in a werewolf hunting family. All it took was one full moon for the truth to unravel in front of him and force him to make hard decisions. His fate was forever changed, and no amount of trying running from it could prevent it from catching up to him.

Huge thanks to @rosanna-writer for the beta <3

Read on AO3

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And here I sit alone behind walls of regret Falling down like promises that I never kept - Castles Crumbling, Taylor Swift ft. Hayley Williams

6 years ago - Elain

Elain ran through the field with a shriek. The teenage boy with shoulder-length red hair chased after her, laughing as his longer legs easily caught up with her. His arms wrapped around her and Elain stumbled, unable to slow to a stop. The weight of his body and his own speed drove her off balance, and they collapsed in the grass together.

“You’re going to ruin my skirt again, Lucien.” Elain tried to check her cheerleading uniform for grass stains, but his body on hers covered most of it.

“It’s already too late for this one.” He gave a half apologetic shrug, knowing that she had an immaculate outfit to perform in folded in her closet.

Elain squirmed to look at the short skirt. “Where?”

“Right here,” Lucien grabbed her ass over the fabric and grinned.

“You’re impossible.” She tried to sound stern, but the way she tilted her head up to kiss him gave her away.

Lucien smiled against her lips, then quickly pushed himself to his feet and held his hands out to her. “Come on,” he lifted her until she stood. “I should drive you home.”

“Already?” Elain looked over to the almost empty parking lot. They had stayed long after practice ended, but it didn’t feel like enough time.

“Gotta stay in your dad’s good graces.” He squeezed her hand and led the way back to the locker rooms so that she could pick up her bag.

Elain knew that sulking wouldn’t help, but she was quiet all the way home. It had been four months, and Lucien still wasn’t allowed into her house apart from the occasional dinner. She followed her family to church every Sunday and endured the talks of abstinence and marriage, as if she would even get the opportunity to be alone with Lucien.

All he had ever done was kiss her. Hands wandered over clothes sometimes, but the only time they ever got to be together was the hour they stole after school and practice ended. Often enough, Elain’s father showed up after practice to pick her up and interrupted them, though he’d only ever found them sitting on the bleachers holding hands and talking.

Lucien wouldn’t take any chances and risk her family forbidding her from seeing him, but Elain’s patience was wearing thin. Nesta, of course, was always proper and only seen talking to the boys their grandmother thought would be a good match for her. No one cared enough about Elain to find her a match until Nesta was taken care of, so she was unfairly sheltered instead while Feyre ran wild, too young and headstrong for anyone to bother with her.

“Come on El, it’s not that bad.” Lucien placed his hand on her thigh as he drove.

“Aren’t you sick of it?” She traced the veins on the back of his hand and studied his profile.

“It’s not ideal,” he conceded. “But as long as I get to see you, I’m happy.”

“Don’t you ever get angry?” Elain asked, because she did. She got angry at the world for keeping him from her, for telling her that she was only a child and didn’t know what was good for her when her heart told her Lucien was the one she needed by her side.

“What’s the point?” Lucien glanced over at her and flipped his hand to lace his fingers with hers. “Of course I wish we could have more freedom, but I don’t see another way at the moment.”

“We have a year and half of this ahead of us,” Elain sighed. “I just… I don’t want you to lose your patience.”

“I won’t, never when it comes to you.” He kissed the back of her hand. “I promise.”

.

Dinner was quiet that evening, as it always was. Elain’s grandmother and her father were the only people who ever really talked. The three girls had been raised to know that children didn’t speak at the dinner table, and as they had gotten older the rule had never truly been lifted. Elain never had much to say to her family anyway, only answering questions when she was spoken to.

It was typically uneventful until her father had to leave the dinner table to answer the phone. The conversation was short and impossible to overhear, and Elain didn’t think any of it would matter until he sat back at the head of the table.

“Who was it?” Feyre asked.

“Beron Vanserra.”

Elain’s heart skipped a beat as she looked up from her dinner. The way her father was looking back at her did nothing to reassure her. Beron never called.

She was just about to ask about the reason when her grandmother stepped in. “We haven’t seen a werewolf in this town in twenty years. What would be important enough for him to interrupt dinner?”

Everyone knew werewolves were the most unpredictable creatures. Elain hadn’t heard of one anywhere near this town in her lifetime, and she could only pray it wasn’t about to change. Some towns were riddled with them, but hunting families like the Vanserras had cleared many areas for humans to safely live in.

Beron Vanserra and his oldest sons were some of the rare people who lived after facing down one of those creatures on a full moon. Lucien talked about it, sometimes, though he still had a few years before he would be forced to follow in his family’s tracks.

“It wasn’t about hunting. Lucien was in a car accident, he knows he picks up Elain for school,” he explained before adding, “You can take the bus tomorrow.”

Elain nearly dropped her fork. She couldn’t have cared less about school or the bus as she quickly asked, “What happened? Is he going to be alright?” 

“I assume he’s going to be in the hospital for a few days at least.” Her father reached for the spoon in the middle of the table and helped himself to more potatoes.

“Well,” her grandmother scoffed. “Good thing Elain won’t be getting in that boy’s car again.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t his fault,” she protested, unable to even look at her food anymore. “Can I call them back after dinner? Just to know if he’s alright?”

“His brothers will be at school tomorrow.”

“Daddy-” Elain began to argue, but Nesta interrupted her.

“I have my final project with Eris due tomorrow,” she said. “I was going to have to call to talk over a detail of the conclusion. I’ll ask about Lucien.”

.

Lucien

Everything had happened too fast for him to remember. One moment, Lucien was driving; the next, he was in a hospital bed. He tried to move his shoulder and immediately groaned from the pain that shot through his articulation. His arm was partly immobilized by a splint, and he could only wish they had put it on tighter as he breathed through gritted teeth. The room was entirely white, and the steady beeping by his head was enough of a clue for him to know where he was.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re awake.” Lucien’s mother quickly noticed his eyes were open and reached for his hand. His eyes followed her touch, noticing the IV in his arm and the plastic covering one of his fingers.

At least that arm wasn’t injured, he realized after carefully moving his shoulder to check.  “What happened?” He croaked before clearing his throat.

“You had a car accident,” she explained and handed him a glass of water. “Beron is outside, he’s on the phone with the insurance company,”

Lucien wouldn’t be surprised if his father never came into the room. He didn’t expect him to care beyond the cost of car repairs. Beron hadn’t spent time with him in years, always too busy traveling to nearby towns with other werewolf hunters to care about his youngest son.

“I don’t remember it,” Lucien said about the accident. “Was anyone else injured?”

“No, you only hit a tree.”

“Okay,” he breathed out, at least relieved that no one else had been hurt. “Did I hit my head or something?” It certainly didn’t hurt now, but maybe that was what affected his memory. “I just don’t remember anything happening in the car.”

“I-”

“I see you’re awake,” a nurse walked into the room and interrupted before Lucien’s mother could start her explanation. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, I think,” Lucien diverted his attention to answer more questions.

Something was clearly going on with his mother, but she didn’t speak with the nurse in the room. After several questions and a promise to have a doctor check on him soon, the nurse left them alone again.

Lucien’s mother didn’t meet his eyes until she was sitting beside him again. Even then, it was hardly more than a glance at him. The tight bun that usually held her bright red hair had fallen loose, and her light brown eyes were rimmed with red.

Lucien didn’t remember the last time he had seen her so distressed. She was always put together at home, even in the worst of circumstances she could hold her head up and pretend everything was fine. Three of his brothers had been in accidents that sent them to the hospital before, yet she had never looked this pale waiting in their hospital rooms.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” She fussed with the edge of his bedsheet.

“I’m fine. What were you going to say?”

“There are a lot of things I need to explain to you.”

“Just tell me what happened.” Lucien frowned, her reluctance to say anything only making his worry increase.

She kept staring at the bedsheet for a moment, then met his eyes, took a deep breath, and finally began to explain. “There’s something you need to know about your father.”

“What about Beron?” Lucien couldn’t fathom what that would have to do with his accident. Could he be cheating on his mother? Probably, he was a piece of shit and always traveling, but there was no reason to tell him that now.

“I’m not talking about Beron.”

“What?”

“Let me explain.” She rested her hand on his. “I should have told you this a long time ago, but Beron isn’t your biological father. Many years ago, before I was married to Beron, I met someone. My family wouldn’t have approved, for a million reasons, but we remained in contact through the years, and that man is your real father.”

“How the hell-” The heart monitor beeped faster as he processed the words. “How could you not tell me?” He pushed on his good arm to sit up, betrayal written all over his face.

“Lucien, please—” His mother glanced to the corridor to check no one would come in. “He’s a werewolf.”

Lucien laid back into the bed with wide eyes. He had grown up with Beron’s stories of the creatures, and it was expected he would learn how to hunt them too sooner or later. Every story he had ever heard depicted them as monsters, not people.

They were wild, they did not have feelings, they only killed. It was what he had been taught from the youngest age, it was impossible that his mother could have associated with one, or that he could be one of them.

“I’m so sorry, Lucien. I’ll tell you all you need to know now.” She blinked several times to clear the tears from her eyes. “Last night was a full moon, and you’re old enough that the symptoms are beginning to manifest. That’s what caused your accident.”

“How could you not tell me?” He repeated himself, still too shocked to say anything else.

It was impossible. It was going to destroy his life.

“I thought that because I was human there might be a chance you could escape it.”

“Escape it—they’re going to kill me.”

“Of course they won’t.” More tears rolled down her cheeks.“Your father, Helion, lives far away from here, I called him after your accident. You’ll live with him and learn how to protect yourself, there’s a place for you at the high school so you can still graduate and— I’m sorry, Lucien. I truly am.”

 Lucien’s mind immediately went to Elain. How could he explain himself? She would be terrified, she would hate him before he had a chance to give her an explanation. “I can’t just leave, Elain-”

“Can’t find out.” His mother interrupted vehemently. “It would put you both in danger.”

“I can’t just leave her like that,” he protested, but his thoughts were too frantic for him to figure out what he could possibly say to her either.

“You have to, or you’ll hurt her. Full moons will make you uncontrollable, and you won’t be able to keep it secret. Beron will kill us both, and Elain will be caught in the middle of it.”

Lucien quieted at that and brought his hand up to cover his face. He couldn’t think—could hardly breathe from too much information yet not enough for him to understand it all.

It took most of the day for him to calm down. His mother stayed beside him the entire time, answering every question he had and apologizing so many times he didn’t have it in him to remain angry at her. Beron had always been a horrible husband and father; there was no love lost between them,and he couldn’t really blame his mother for loving someone else.

It would take more than apologies to fix the broken trust between them, but there was no time for Lucien to sulk or reject her when listening was the only way they would both survive. The hardest part was hearing that werewolves weren’t monsters. Lucien didn’t believe he was a monster himself, but would these symptoms eventually make him into one? If werewolves could hide among humans, maybe even fall in love with them, why had Beron lied all of these years?

“Lucien, you need to know-”

“Stop.” He interrupted before she could start another one of her apologies. “I need… I don’t fucking know what I need, but just stop right now.”

“If I could keep you here with me I would,” she whispered anyway “but when lives are at stake-”

“I know they are!” Lucien’s voice rose with anger. “You think I don’t realize what a mess this is? And Elain…”

Lucien sank his teeth into his cheek until he could taste blood. She was too smart for him to just break up with her without an excuse, and it was only a matter of time until she showed up at the hospital. Even with her father opposing her, she was a caretaker, and she would always find a way to be there for the people she loved.

The only way for Lucien to keep her safe would be to make sure he wasn’t one of these people anymore.

[pha5ed]

Crushing on You || LifeSteal Headcannons

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

members :: mapicc, parrot, zam, spoke, vitalasy

Mapicc

In denial about his crush for super long, might never admit to it

Anyone who accuses him of liking you instantly gets their base blown up

He tries super hard to seem cool in-front of you but he’s a natural loser

One time he tried to flex his Fortnite skills on you… That’s the best and only rizz he got

Anytime you’re in a call with him, he starts try-harding at everything, pvp, building, anything

The entire server calls him out for this but just says he’s naturally good

If you two ever end up in a call alone, expect a lot of painful attempts of flirting

“Haha I bet you’re so short in person”

Definitely insults you a shit ton 24/7

You don’t know that he’s joking and start to think he actually hates you at one point

Bro will say the most foul stuff to you but if you dare say one thing back he either attempts to insult you back or leave the call and cry

Tries so HARD to get you to do couple stuff with him without actually saying

“Wow these two profile pics are so cute… I wish I had someone to match with me…”

If you do match with him, he screenshots it and smiles to sleep

“Hey I’m getting some necklaces and there’s a buy one get one free deal… do you want one?”

If you accept, he’ll never take the necklace off and if he sees you wearing he’ll try to sneakily take a pic of you wearing it

He’s not the type to confess online, he’ll definitely wait till VidCon or TwitchCon to confess to you in person

During his confession he’s super scared and nervous

His palms get sweaty and you can see his pit stains

When he does confess, it’s really sweet and simple

He thinks long speeches about emotions are too sappy and uncool

When you say yes he’s so happy, so so so happy

Definitely a great bf :)

Parrot

He doesn’t fall for anyone super fast, you two were definitely besties before he started liking you

When he realizes he likes you, he’s not sure what to do with himself

He’s not a flirty type at all

He might projectile vomit if he has to flirt

Does his best to research what to do and how to get you to like him back

Any time you’re in call he’ll ask stiff ass questions just to learn more about you

“Uh… Okay weird question but how many creases are on your neck?”

After you answer any question, he write it down. Not on a google doc but on PAPER

You can hear his nerdy ass writing with his old wooden pencil

He only wants to confess in person, hates the idea of an online confession

When you meet irl, he uses all of the data he collected to look like the perfect guy for you

But in reality, you already liked him so this made no difference

When he does confess to you, it’s super sweet and kinda cliche

Gives you flowers and chocolate, then gives the most simple yet sincere confession he can muster

Of course you accept :) And oh my god he’s so happy

He definitely rants about you on Parrot Shorts 24/7

Zam

Doesn’t know he likes you but he definitelyyy acts a lil different around you

He stills acts like himself but you get special treatment

Zam’s history of betraying people doesn’t apply to you, he can’t bring himself to do that

You guys call all the time but neither of you notice how your calls have gone a platonic tone to romantic tone

The shift was so subtle and slow

It’s like you guys automatically started acting like a married couple

One day, Pangi accidentally introduces you as Zam’s gf/bf and it suddenly clicks in his head

After Pangi says that he finally realizes that he likes you!!!

Doesn’t know what to do and decides to ask Pangi for advice

Pangi’s advice is basic, “just be yourself, be nicer, blah blah blah”

Zam listens to the advice but now he’s super stiff and uptight

You notice it and think that he’s mad at you

He quickly denies this and starts over explaining everything that he’s thinking

“- And then when Pangi said you were my gf/bf it suddenly clicked and I was like ohmygosh I like (y/n) that’s so crazy I mean how could I not but- . . . ”

Accidentally confesses

You gotta say yes, poor guy is so stressed out over it

Once you say yes, he starts cheering and asking “Really? Like for real?”

Shows you off to his close friends but doesn’t want your relationship to be toooo public cause of weird fans

Spoke

There’s not a single though behind those eyes

This man doesn’t know he likes you and will never confess

You’ve been best friends for agesss, at least 3+ years

Everything between you feels so natural and it’s almost like you grew up with each other

Everyone always asks if he likes you or vice versa and he always goes “Nahhh!”

But secretly, you and Spoke made a pact to get married at 30 if you’re both single

Everyone ships you together and he just laughs it off and says “Ha!! That’s so dumb” while your both on your daily 14 hour call with each other

When you meet in person he’s surprisingly touchy, but you don’t mind

But, when he sees the other members start to be friendly and touchy with you he goes : 🤨 that’s my job 😡

Starts to get protective and jealous over you and isn’t sure why

One day you get pissed off at him for ruining your conversation with someone and you angrily ask him, “Why do you care who I talk to?! Do you like me or something?!”

And both of you go . . .

The gears in his heads finally start working but they stop after like 2 seconds and he goes “Well duh we’re best friends!”

You cut him off by confessing your love for him

Bro straight up goes “ :O whaaaat no way”

He accepts happily and nothing changes between you two since you were basically already dating

Vitalasy

Your videos always so super well and they’re kinda similar to Vitalasy

He asks if you want to collab and you agree

While recording and plotting for your video, you two hit it off super well

At first he treats you like any normal friend but once the call ends he gets all giddy

Tries to snap himself out of it but he can’t stop smiling

Aww shoot… he likes you

He doesn’t want to seem desperate, how could he only know you for like 6 hours and instantly like you

Starts day dreaming about your future together and what house you’d have and-

No stop it! It’s too soon!!!

Decides the only way to combat these feelings, is by being the biggest jerk alive to you

Starts playfully bullying you and teasing you all the time

But his insults are so weak that you can instantly tell he doesn’t mean a word he says

He can’t help but always ask to call you, play games, and plot more videos

You two stream together all the time to the point where everyone’s surprised if he does a solo stream

Surprising has okay-ish rizz and is pretty smooth at times

One night, you two are calling like always and he’s about to sleep

Right before he sleeps he says “I love you”, making you get flustered from it and say “what???”

“I love you, you know that already” He says again

He instantly knocks out and the next morning he sees you’re still on call

When you wake up too, you ask him about it and he’s shocked at his own rizz

“Oh sorry for saying that, that’s so weird bruh I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-”

But then you confess too :)

After that, he’s shocked but confesses to you in a long ass ramble

Now you’re dating and literally no one is surprised

Twitter goes crazyyyyy about you two tho

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 2: Deep Stays Down

Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton × OFC Stella Daniels

Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

Warnings: Grief, panic, language because I mean let's be honest we've all seen the show lol

Word count: 2,710

Gif credit goes to @bodybebangin (I totally can’t remember if there’s a way to transfer the gif to my post with your profile link on mobile.) Edit I figured it out and I’ll remember for the next time!

Authors Note: Thank you everyone for the interest in my first chapter! Here we are with chapter two! I hope you all like this one too! I had to split chapter 2 into two so technically there’s an extra chapter. So I think I’ll post this early 😂.

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot for being a sounding board for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, a cheerleader, and allowing me to screech at her about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn’t have gotten this far. 💛

Stella tossed the covers of the bunk back. She reached for her glasses and her phone. It was around 8:30 in the morning. She wasn’t too late, but later than she had planned. Late by ranch standards, for sure. Thankfully no one was in the bunkhouse at the time so she had free reign of the bathroom.

She came out fully dressed and ready for the day. She saw all the men out the kitchen window. ‘All of them, except one.’ She blinked rapidly and air rushed up from her lungs. It was like that thought had just sucker punched her right in the gut. The nausea came back, her fingertips and cheeks went numb. No one came for her. More so, Lee wasn’t barging in, telling her to “Get your ass up and let’s get a move on! You’re holdin’ me up, lil’ bit!” He let her get away with much more than he probably should have.

Leaning forward against the sink, she looked down and tried to catch her breath, open mouthed and salivating. She tried to convince herself to not vomit. ‘In through your nose, out through your mouth girl.’ A groan escaped her. Her eyes welled up and she sank to the floor against the sink cabinets.

Stella slammed her fist on the floor. “Fuck!” She screamed in anguish. Partly regretting hitting the floor so hard, but most of it aimed at the loss of a coworker. A friend. The thought of never seeing him again, never hearing him giving her a hard time about his brother, about how she did something with a particular horse? It hit her like a freight train. One thought after the other. There was an empty crater made by the absence of Lee. One which she didn’t even realize would be there.

She hiccupped and hyperventilated while the tears streamed down her round cheeks. Stella tried to remind herself not to pass out. She could hear Lee's voice, right after she had gotten bucked really hard for the first time. “Big breaths kid. Big breaths.” Her face contorted into sorrow. She gulped air for a minute. Slowly, but surely, her breathing came back to a better rhythm.

Standing carefully, she ran the cold water in the sink. Stella splashed her face and held the cold water around her eyes. She didn’t need to be super swollen and red going out there. Ryan would immediately sniff it out.

Fixing her hair into a bun, she closed the bunkhouse door behind her. Before she had her meltdown, she had seen from the window that John and Rip had brought out Kayce’s horse. She definitely wanted to go and watch; that horse was about to give everyone a run for their money. He listened great for Kayce though. There was something kindred between the two that she noticed yesterday. She didn’t think John would have the patience for him for long.

“Hey Rip, Mr. Dutton.” She smiled at them.

“Hey kid.”

She rolled her eyes at the foreman while laughing. “You do realize I’m 26 now and not 14?”

“Don’t do that to me, Stella-belle.” Rip pleaded playfully.

Stella jested. “What? Make you feel old?”

John grinned at Stella. “If it makes him feel old, then I feel ancient, little girl.”

“Well you do look pretty rusty with that horse, sir.” She joked because of the show the stallion put on while she walked up.

“Oh you think you can do better?” John challenged her.

“I mean, your oldest and youngest did teach me almost everything I know.”

“And who do you think they learned it from?”

“Lloyd.” Stella giggled and hopped up and over the fence. She wiped her hands on her pants. “Let me take a crack at him.”

She handed her glasses to John and said, “Don’t get your dusty fingerprints all up on my lenses, sir.” He chuckled and stepped back to the fence where Rip stood.

“You should invest in contacts, dear.” John joked. He didn’t leave the pen, just in case she needed someone to grab her out. He knew his son’s best friend could be a little reckless when it came to the horses. Lee had seen fit to mention that to him.

“My glasses treat me just fine, thank you.” She pivoted back to the mustang.

“Whoa Tank.” She said softly and outstretched her hand to him. He looked to her, but then at John behind her. He let out a short snort and stomped his front foot.

“Mr. Dutton, no offense, but get out of the pen please.” She could hear him as he shuffled his way out.

He leaned over to Rip and said quietly, “Excuse me, just getting kicked out of my own arena.” They shared a chuckle at her determination.

“I can hear y’all by the way.” She smirked over her shoulder at them. “I work with the rest of these horses nearly every day, so let me try to do my thing.”

Stella stepped forward carefully. “Is that better, bud?” He nickered gently at her, partially satisfied. She chuckled at him. “Just like Kayce,” she said softly.

She clucked twice. “Come here boy.” The stallion took his time as he decided whether or not she was going to betray his trust. Just like she would with Kayce, she let him come to her. Which, he finally broke and decided she was interesting enough.

In her outstretched hand, he placed his muzzle. She began to pet him on his velvety soft nose and forehead. Once she felt that he was comfortable and he wasn’t giving a negative reaction, she started to mess around with his saddle; giving him gentle shoulder pats every so often. She just wanted to be extra sure that if the stud tried to toss her, she would have as much control as possible.

She got close to his ear and said gently, “okay, Tank. You ready to show these boys what we’re made of?” The horse chuffed just a tiny bit, just loud enough that she could hear him. She patted his chest and placed her foot in the stirrup. Stella gauged his reaction and he made it seem like she could proceed. She scrunched her eyebrows in suspicion and gripped the horn, stepping up into the saddle. She didn’t want to pull on his back harder than she needed and piss him off even more.

She sat deep in her seat and took a deep breath. She kept the reins loose, they were split reins anyhow, and her legs soft on his sides. Her heels low to keep her center of gravity. Stella could feel the stallion’s mind brewing. She brought his head up because she didn’t want him to go between his knees.

“Well I’ll be damned,” John muttered.

“Why do you think Lee and I gave her the position to work beside him with the horses, sir?”

“It’s okay, boy. You’re doing gre— shit!” Stella grabbed the horn tight and pulled her legs close because Tank took off in a flying leap.

He bounced them both around for the longest 10 seconds of Stella’s life. He tried to flip them, but she loosened her legs and pulled his head sharp into the inside lead causing him to lose momentum. She could hear Lee screaming at her in her head to get him on the inside and get his head back from him. The stud took a step to the side to gain balance. Tank made his displeasure known as he hollered and tried to toss her more times than she could count.

Stella flexed his neck and made him move forward. She, at the very least, wanted to get him to listen to her. There was a lot of work she was going to have to put in with this one. ‘Of course Lee left me the difficult one.’ She kept pushing him forward in long strides around the arena and finally he ground to a halt with an agitated squeal. They were both breathing heavily, but she refused to let him catch her off guard again. She flexed the inside rein again.

“Come on Tank, work with me here.” He tried to step on the outside lead to get away from her direction, but she brought him back in. He allowed her to trot him over to the two man audience they had. At least she had thought it was just Rip and Mr. Dutton. Everyone else from the bunkhouse had joined in to watch the free rodeo.

Lloyd looked proud. “We could make you a rodeo queen yet, little bit.”

Stella let out a full belly laugh. “Oh my god, Lloyd. Hell no. I like where my spine is. I’ll be just fine without the buckle.”

She stopped in front of John and he passed her glasses over to her. “He’s got a lot of work ahead of him, but I really don’t think anyone but Kayce is gonna be able to do anything with him. Or at least have him agreeable. This is absolutely your son’s horse, sir.” She got down and gave Tank a few good pats on his shoulder.

John and Stella shared a look of understanding and she put her glasses back on. They both knew exactly what she meant about Tank being Kayce’s. More so, Kayce being Tank’s. She breathed a chuckle through her nose and handed the reins over to Rip.

“I’ll keep trying with him tomorrow. I’ll talk to Kayce about him if you want me to?” She offered.

She watched Rip walk off and holler out, “Jimmy! Saddle up! We’ll make you a cowboy, yet.” Bless that man for what they were about to do to him.

“Yeah Stella. You do that for me.” John directed her.

She sent a text to Kayce. Hey, you got a minute to talk about that horse of yours? When she brought her eyes back up from her phone, she almost choked at the sight before her. Jimmy was now duck taped to Tank and being given explicit directions by Rip. Stella wandered over to her brother and Colby. She heard them placing bets on the horse or Jimmy.

“That horse has a name, ya know.”

“And what would that be, little bit?” Colby asked sarcastically.

She bit back. “His name is Tank if you would have paid attention at all.” She came to occupy the space between the bro-buds and Mr. Dutton and Rip.

“Do I detect some defensiveness?” Ryan goaded her.

Stella leaned forward on the fence and placed her foot up on a rung. “I never said I wasn’t gonna put money on the horse. I just want you to use his name, is all. Respect him and he’ll respect you. Maybe.” She cracked a smile. “I put $20 on Tank.” John let out a gruff chuckle from her right hand side. “I expect both of you to pay up too.” She joked to her bosses.

Ryan hissed through his teeth at her as Rip and John guffawed at her challenge. “Stella Lee!”

“What?” She bounced her shoulders. “Alls fair. Isn’t that right, gentlemen?” She focused on Jimmy and the horse, bouncing around just like she and John had been not long before. She felt for the poor kid because they were so rough on him, but he needed to harden up some.

Silence overtook her. This is where she would have been standing while watching Lee in the pen. Ryan glanced over at his sister when he realized she had gone silent.

He leaned toward her. “You okay?”

“I will be.” She murmured back. She didn’t have the energy to get into it.

Ryan questioned quietly. “Lee?” She confirmed silently. He sighed and placed an arm around her. “We’ll get through this, Stellee. I promise.”

Her phone buzzed in the back pocket of her jeans. Pulling it out, she glanced at the message preview. If you mean my father’s horse, I guess I got some time.

She replied. You want me to call you?

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I might gotta make a phone call.” Stella announced to the men as she removed herself from under her brother's arm. She figured the barn would be the closest and quietest place. Jamie was just walking up as she made her exit, and she acknowledged him in a quick greeting.

In through the side door she went. She figured she could say hi to her baby at the same time. Abigail made a happy noise at her arrival. Stella caressed her muzzle fondly. “Come on girl, back up.” She clucked twice and gently pushed her muzzle and the bay roan moved backward. Opening the stall door, she moved inside to the cleanest part and made herself comfortable on the floor to wait for Kayce’s approval to call.

She heard movement from the front of the barn. Her eyebrows pulled together. It was past morning turnout, and it wasn’t feed time, so no one should really be in here. She went to move back out into the hallway when she faintly heard John talking to Jamie.

“Did they identify Kayce?” John asked. Stella tilted her head quizzically and stopped moving. What did they mean, “identify Kayce”?

Jamie answered. “Not yet.”

“Who are the agents we’re talking about?” John asked.

“It’s, uh, Tom Reynolds and Aaron McReary.” Jamie offered up.

John pursed his lips in contemplation. “Reynolds I can deal with. I don’t know this McReary.”

“Yeah, he lives in the south end of the valley. Word is he likes his religion.”

“As in “won’t tell a lie” likes it?”

“Yeah, that would be my guess.” Jamie exhaled heavily.

“Find out where he goes to church. Anything else?” John thought twice. “Anything else? You said there were a few.”

Jamie sighed. “The medical examiners report. You’re not gonna like it.”

“Who else has seen the report?” As John questioned his second oldest son, Stella leaned forward to try and peek out the bars of the stall.

“The only ones who have seen it, want it to change.”

“Then it’ll change.” John started walking in her direction. Stella withdrew from the bars and bent down in the front corner to avoid being seen.

“It means they’re doctors. Which means they took an oath and it wasn’t to you. No matter what we do the photographs won’t change. The body won’t change. It’ll tell the same story to anybody who looks.” Jamie started to raise his voice.

“The body is buried, Jamie. Relax.”

“Yeah, but when they see the report…”

Abigail chose the most inopportune time to snort loudly. Stella squeezed her eyes shut, fixed her glasses, and put her hand on the underside of Abigail’s stomach. She tried to convince her to be quiet.

“When they see the report what?”

“When they see –,” John spoke over Jamie.

“–You think I’m just gonna let them dig up my son?”

“When they see the report they’re not gonna ask, they’re just gonna do it, dad.”

“Don’t say it –,”

“–I think–,”

“–Don’t say it –,”

“–I think we should beat them to it.”

“Don't even think it!”

Stella could hear things getting heated. She wanted to know, but also didn’t. She looked at the stall window that faced the one back paddock for the horses. Silently she thanked God for her girl having one of the few rooms with a VIP view. She gave Abigail a pat and tried to quietly climb out the window. She accidentally leaned back against the open section and it bounced against the barn. She grimaced as her feet dropped to the ground semi-gracefully. She thought she was in the clear as she took off. Unbeknownst to Stella, John had heard the noise from Abigail’s stall on his way out.

She was gonna have to go around the barn the long way to avoid running into John. She made an immediate left to wrap back around and texted Kayce. Actually, can I just meet you at your house?

There was only a few minutes in between messages. Yeah, that’s fine with us. Stella thanked God above and darted to her car. She didn’t catch John as he peeked around the corner and watched her race off.

Comments, thoughts, commentary, and asks are welcome! Just please be gentle lol. 🤓

[alexandercaged]

31/5/2024

Origin-(Sorry this will be long)

This is going to be my story of my ongoing relationship with “Kyle”.

Even tho tumblr is dead.

But I just wanna share this. It’s wild. And Reddit won’t do. I don’t think.

So my name is Alex. I’m 24. Kyle is my boyfriend and he’s 38.

I came out as gay in 2021. I’m in the military actually but I am getting out soon. I joined in 2020 which was wild during COVID.

I dated other guys too, but I can’t really handle dating other military guys. So mostly just regular type people.

I met Kyle on an app this past March and right away it was pretty different. Kyle is 38 like I said and he was married to a woman before and he has a kid.

So technically bi.

But Kyle thought I was “cute” (his words).

Uhh let’s see… I’m like 5’6”. 165. Just a little “stocky”. Kyle is probably…I dunno. 6 foot? Maybe 5’11? Maybe 6’1? I think his app profile said 6-1..

Kyle is in construction. I think he’s a foreman or something. He’s big, like 220? Very stocky. But in like a way that is hot to me.

So right away we were really attracted to each other and even though I identify as verse Kyle made it clear he was a bi top and wanted to fuck me.

So he came over to my place that I share with a room mate. She wasn’t home that night.

What really made me hot was how aggressive Kyle was. Like, I never got treated like that. Freakin’ rough!

Kyle’s got a big dick. I think about 8 inches which is way bigger than me. I mean I don’t complain but the thing about Kyle is, I admit I was really turned on that he ignored my hardon completely.

He had me get on my knees and suck him and I don’t do that a lot but the way he was so forceful about it and verbal. I never had sex with a guy who talked that dirty. He has me lick his balls, suck his cock, etc and finally he wants to fuck so he gets me up and on all fours on my bed and then licks my hole. And that was new too.

I had sex with about 9? 10? Guys before Kyle and I didn’t know what I had been missing. He lapped at my hole which made me moan and that embarrassed me but he told me just let it out if I liked it.

And then. Remember this is the FIRST TIME we had sex he said tell me you like it. I says yes. He said yes what? And I knew exactly where he was going so I just smiled and says yes sir!

He told me good boy and I KNEW that was a thing but Kyle is the first person I’ve heard say this shit in real life.

He started fucking me and I was so full of his cock and it felt great and then I wanted to jack off too and he says don’t do that.

So everything felt so good and I figured ok this is fun to play along so I stopped. He said, while he was doing me doggie style, good boys ask for permission.

So I said yes sir, again.

But he kept fucking and I forgot and tried again to jack off and he stopped a little and reached down and grabbed my hand and gently pulled it away and held on on the bed and said don’t be a bad boy and now I’m like really getting into it but I don’t remember if I said anything.

Ok ok he keeps going and fully busts inside me. When he nutted he grunted so loud I was glad my room mate was gone. It was like half grunt half roar.

So he’s like half laying on my back and I can feel his cock kinda throbbing inside me, but I’m like super horny so I play along and I ask can I jack off? And he says ask right. I said how. He’s still holding my one hand down but I’m using my other one to hold my body weight.

He said say please can I cum sir?

I felt like a thrill go through me and I said it real playful and loud please can I cum sir?

And he said yes but he was gonna do it. So he reached under me and took hold of my dick and went pretty slow at first. But as he sped up I was kind of involuntary bucking a little, like thrusting into his hand. His cock slipped out of my ass hole at some point. He was still kinda draped over my back and he said be a good boy and cum for me. And man, that was so hot I came so hard all over the towel we put down.

Kyle gently tugged my dick like milking and he said get it all out boy.

And so after, we were cleaning up and I was just smiling and in a good mood and he said what? And I said well honestly that was cool I never had anyone say that stuff.

He said you liked it?

And I said yeah.

So that was the first time.

In March.

Well okay, so let’s see the next thing was we started doing other stuff together besides sex, like short dates, and I honestly thought maybe he was still married at one point but no he is actually divorced and his apartment is cool, he fucked me there too.

But every time we had sex it had a pattern. It was always I start by sucking him and then he fucks me on all fours. Every time he makes me ask to cum and then he jacks me off.

About the sixth time we did it he held his hand up to my face and it had my cum on it and he asked if I would lick it off like a good boy. Now, when I am post nut, I don’t wanna do stuff like that anymore.

So I kinda didn’t want to. So he kinda reached his other arm around me and pulled me upright toward him. Not like a choke hold but like held me and had his cum hand in front of me and said come on, be good and clean up my hand.

And you know what? Damn that voice and being forceful I just did it real quick. Licked all my own cum off his hand. Not good. Gross. But not the end of the world. And he said that’s my good boy!

We had a little bit of a break after that and we were into April.

We messaged all the time and you could tell when he’d get horny because his messages became more and more aggressive which turned me on.

Then he wanted me to come over and he wanted to make me dinner which was cool.

He made us pasta Alfredo and he asked me if it was hot for him to talk that way, like be aggressive.

I said yah. So then he said well honestly I was wondering if we could do more.

And I said like what.

He said well I kinda like the idea of being a Dom for a military guy. And I said ok like what? And I was kinda laughing and not taking it too serious but he didn’t seem to mind.

He said I was hot and he’d love to tie me up, spank me, make me beg to cum.

I was like wow. He said is that ok?

I said you know what yeah. But not tonight cause I didn’t “prepare” to have sex. He said that’s ok.

So we agreed to try this thing out and I said ok but don’t like do it so tight I was like you’re hot, this is cool, but I don’t want to get kidnapped or anything. He said okay just say pineapple if it’s too much. I was like laughing ok then pineapple. But not then. I was just repeating it.

So he just let me sit in a chair and did some loose knots around my wrists and ankles to I guess play that I was tied to the chair.

He said he can’t spank me in the chair. I said well that’s ok.

He went and got some oil like maybe baby oil and he massaged my dick until I was really hard.

He went and got these elastic straps but not like rubber bands like they were thick.

He was working one around my nutsack at the top and then one around my cock but my pubes kept catching.

He started stroking me again and I was thrusting a little off the chair which he said to stop and he was also rubbing my balls and he said don’t cum unless I tell you and I said I don’t know if I can and he said oh you will boy. Wait until you are given permission.

Which was hot. He said if I let you cum I want you to do something for me. I said what. So he said from now on when we are having sex of any kind call him sir always. I was so close so I said yes sir uh I’m gonna cum.

So he stopped and said he wanted to cum first.

He stood up (he had been crouched down focusing on jacking me off) and his dick was big and hard and had a string of pre cum on it.

He had me suck on his cock and I tasted his pre cum. I still couldn’t get like even half of it into my mouth.

He said oh here it comes here it comes. And he wanted to jack off and he said open up boy. So I opened real big and he shot in my mouth, shots fled over me, into my hair, on my face. And he does that loud grunt.

He grunted long and loud and said yeah take that fuckin load! Swallow all that shit!

So I did and it tasted somehow way better than mine.

He said do you want to cum now boy? And I said yes sir so he started stroking me again and my dick had turned red and the veins were popping out and it was thicker than usual and dripping pre everywhere. Very shiny from the baby oil and precum ooze. Mines way shorter than his but it looked plumper cause of that strap thing.

His cock was flaccid but still plump as well and dripping little drops of cum still.

I said oh I’m gonna cum please sir can I cum and he stopped and said I had to promise some more things. I looked at him and grinned and said ok sir what? I just wanna cum.

And he said he wanted me to shave my pubes off. I said, more like a whine. Why? He said What was that?!? And I loved it. Dang, I LOVED getting yelled at like that. I said why sir?

He said well it will help next time putting the straps on and plus he thought it was hot. He said a military boy giving up his pubic hair to be a good boy. So I said yes sir ok. I will.

He said hold on. Then he kind of wiped his hands off and got his phone. I said hey sir what are you doing and he said I’m just making notes and he showed me and he was making a note that said rules for my boy and then he went back to typing.

And next he said did I think I could always ask for his permission to cum. I said what do you mean sir I do?!? And he said no like even if I was home. I couldn’t jack off to cum without texting him or asking him.

And I thought ok that’s hot too. So I said yes sir I’ll ask you before I cum.

He said last could I let him spank me if I disobeyed? And for some reason that was the kinkiest one to me. He wanted to spank me. So I said spank me how sir? And he said well, he’d like me to be naked and over his knee and get a spanking.

And I thought that was the least hot but I was also really horny so I said yes sir you can spank me if I disobey.

He said good boy and then went back to stroking me and then he went faster and faster and I couldn’t help bucking and it could not have been barely a minute and I said can I cum please I’m gonna cum and he said yeah boy cum.

And he held his other hand up like his palm in front of my dick but because of the strap on my dick and the one on the balls I actually shot so hard it flew way past him, like the first three shots looked like they went clear across the room and he only got the last few and he kept stroking me and I laughed a little and said ok sir I think that’s it and he said well I need to make sure it’s all out. So he kept doing these slow squeezing motions from the base all the way out and it was uncomfortable and sensitive which made me laugh and squirm.

I thought he was going to make me eat my cum from his hand but he stood up and he was hard again and rubbed my cum on his dick and then he put it in my mouth again. I wasn’t horny at all anymore but tasting my cum (and a little bit of baby oil) on his dick and being tied up was still pretty hot so I played along.

Unfortunately since this was his round two, he just wouldn’t shoot so eventually I said pineapple sir, my mouth is just getting tired I’m really sorry and he said that’s okay can he just shoot all over my face again and I said yes sir.

So he jacked off and it still took awhile but then he had me open and shot into my mouth and on my face and did the grunt.

Basically that was it for that time.

A few days later I had to go buy a big hair clipper thing to shave off my pubes. I shaved them down first and then used a razor and shaved it all the way and then I did my ball sack which took forever. But after it was all done I thought well it does make my dick look a little bigger but it’s still very weird.

I got horny from looking at myself so I texted him to see if I could cum and I told him I shaved my pubes off like he wanted and he had me take a photo to show him.

He hearted the pic and said that’s a good boy. Much better!

He said if he gave me permission could I make myself eat it? Like my cum.

I said pineapple I really don’t want to do that. So he said that’s ok do I mean at all or just right now. And I said just right now.

And he said well if I can’t eat it then I can’t cum with the devil emoji.

And part of me was like ok I can jack off if I want. But an even BIGGER part of me was like fuck this game is hot. So I said ok sir I will eat it please let me jack off and cum.

And he said yes boy. So I did it and then caught it in my hand and real quick without thinking I licked it up and swallowed. Still gross but I texted him and said thank you sir I did it.

He said good boy!!

He said I made him hard too but he was saving it for me.

About two days after that we fucked again and he loved me having no pubes he said keep it like this ok? And I said ok. And he said hey do you want to just date each other only? And I said well sir I’m not seeing anyone else and he said cool then he promised he would only see me and fuck me. And if I was still enjoying the Dom thing. And I said yes sir.

Then I think we got into May and at this point we were fucking almost every day or every other day and texting each other constantly.

Near the very beginning of May I had woken up one morning and have morning wood and very horny I jacked off watching porn and not thinking too much about it.

But then I realized what I did.

I texted him and told him I’m sorry sir I jacked off this morning. He said that’s bad boy and I was gonna be spanked with a heart emoji.

The spanking made me more nervous that anything else we do.

He made me strip and he still had his clothes on. I had to bend over his knee and he had a paddle and yes he actually spanked me. It did hurt but not really.

I just felt like really embarrassed. He said not to jack off for three days and then he had me give him a blowjob.

So this is the part where I started messing up. I would try to go three days but then he would fuck but I couldn’t cum and he wouldn’t even let me touch myself at all.

I figured I’m gonna do it anyway. So I did and then I felt really guilty kind of so I told him and the next day he spanked me much harder than the first time.

We tried to have me go without cumming again but I just couldn’t do it and I fucked up again.

He had me over and he asked me if I liked the game and I said yes sir and he said can I yell at you and be rough and I said yes sir so he said remember to say pineapple if you don’t like it and I said I know sir.

So then he screamed at me and kinda pulled my hair a little. I was getting actually kinda turned on by it because it made him look…I really don’t know? Like I know it’s weird but it was making me hard and he said can I slap you a little and I said yes sir try. And he did a little and said I was supposed to be a good boy and not touch myself.

I said yes sir I know.

He made me get naked and instantly my boner was so obvious and he said do you like this a lot boy? I said yes sir. He said oh you really like getting yelled at and slapped and stuff and I said I guess so sir.

He put me over his lap and spanked me very hard so hard I was putting my hands over my butt and he said oh no boy stop that. So I did and he finished the spanking and my hard on was gone and then he made me suck his cock.

And THEN last Friday he told me shave my pubes, douche my ass, and come over.

When I got home after work, shaved, douched, showered, basically rushed over….he said how was I still liking our game and our arrangement?

I said good sir. Having fun.

He said good boy. I got you something. And he showed me this black plastic thing with holes and explained what a chastity device does and how it goes and that he’d like me to try it and lock myself up for him.

I said doesn’t that hurt sir? He said to be honest I don’t know I never wore one. But they are supposed to help. To keep you from jacking off.

I said ok sir I’ll try. If it hurts can you let me out? He said of course but try and resist asking.

I said I would.

So I thought he was gonna put it on then but he said no not yet.

And then we did our usual routine: I suck on his dick, he puts me on all fours, he eats my ass hole, then he fucks me until he seeds me, grunt. Dirty talk, yeah take my load. Take my load up your greedy asshole.

Then I’m super hard. Pre cum leaking.

I get the reach down and it doesn’t take long before I’m gonna blow so I ask please sir I’m close can I cum. And he stops and says he’ll let me if I first beg him to lock me up for a week.

I said a week sir?! He strokes me slowly. Yes a weak boy. You came quite a few times without permission, you owe me.

I said please sir can we just do three days like before.?

He’s still edging me. He says do I need a spanking for arguing? I say no sir let’s do a week. I’ll try. I promised to try.

He said okay then beg me. So I put something together like please sir lock me up for a week.

He says I like that. Keep saying it while I cum. I say it a few more times but then it feels close, too goood and I stopped saying it. He stops and says don’t stop begging to be locked until you cum.

So they i start over and over please sir lock me up. Lock me up for a week. Please sir.

Like that and then my orgasm is coming close and I get more urgent. Uh uh feels so good sir please done stop please lock me please make my dick your prisoner, see I was getting creative right?

And yeah he let me cum. He says good boy get it all out and does the extra milking squeezes but he’s been doing them more and more until I I’m trying to get away a little bit.

He’s way stronger than me I don’t even budge Kyle.

After he stops he has me lick the puddle of cum off his hand.

Just a little bit of it. Most of it on the towel.

Then to put the chastity thing on, one big hard plastic thing goes on your nuts. Then he worked on sliding the other thing over my dick which was deflating.

He was patient and finally got it locked on and it felt really weird.

After that, we cleaned up and even showered together and then he said for me to stay naked for now. He put on some boxers and one of those tank top white shirts and had me sit on his LAP while he showed me on the computer stuff about chastity. He said keep it lotioned under my balls.

He said tell him if it’s actually painful. I said it’s not sir. He said well if it gets painful.

He showed me there’s some sites that have chastity guys on them, including Tumblr.

I said sir there is one problem sometimes in the military we have random pee tests for drugs and what if they see?

He said you can pee out of it standing up. I said no sir what I mean is, they look at your dick kinda. And he said well…he was thinking…he said is that a dealbreaker for me or could I handle them seeing I had a…like a device on my dick.

I said actually it might be funny. I bet they wouldn’t even say anything.

He said ok boy if you change your mind let me know.

So that was Friday.

Let me tell you!!!!! Friday and Saturday night I woke up and I was in pain like an 5 out of 10.

I didn’t think about at night getting hard while I slept and my dick trying to be erect. I stumbled to my bathroom to get the lotion and rubbed it all over and that started to feel better and then I couldn’t get any piss to come out so I sat down and then it all flowed out and about 15 minutes later I felt fine.

But like twice more that happened. And then in the morning.

Saturday we both had separate errands but we texted. He had me send pics of my dick in the cage thingy.

Sunday we played video games at his place but he made me stay naked and he liked seeing my cage. He fucked me so hard that night before I went home.

On Monday I figured out I could probably slide my dick out of the top maybe if I used lotion to get it out.

I told him and he said well look it’s just for fun. Don’t cheat. Be a good boy. I said yes sir.

Tuesday he wanted to fuck me again and this time I was getting desperate. I wanted to cum but he wouldn’t take it off me.

I said please sir I’ve learned my lesson.

He said is it still fun? And I said yes sir I’m having fun being locked. It’s hot but I need to cum.

So then he spanked me pretty hard and weirdly I felt better because spanking isn’t really hot for me. I feel scolded, embarrassed.

Wednesday and Thursday we didn’t see each other just texted all day.

And now today…Friday…. 31 of May, he invited me over for the whole weekend.

I packed my stuff and got douched and shaved the parts of my pubes and balls I could reach with the cage locked on.

This is the first time he invited me to stay over. And it’s two nights.

Today as soon as I got there he had me strip off my clothes and he kissed me and felt all over my ass.

He cradled my balls and said these feel full boy. And I said yes sir. He said you didn’t cheat did you? And I said no sir I went the whole week like you wanted.

My pre cum was leaking out now at that point.

He said that’s a good boy.

We played video games and ate pizza and it’s weird being naked when Kyle had clothes on.

We watched a movie and all I could think was omg I need to cum.

So finally I said sir I need to cum please.

And he said oh you do? And I said yes sir please?

And he said maybe tomorrow if you are good.

And I got really whiny and said oh no please sir I douched and I’m so horny please just unlock me and fuck me I’ll do whatever you want

He kissed me and really jammed his tongue all into my mouth and at the same time pinched my nipples. I groaned into his mouth.

They he said you need a spanking and I said oh no sir please I’ve been good and he said oh I know but I think you need one anyways.

So yeah he did spank me, and that took a lot of hornyness away.

But it came back as soon as he made me suck him off. My dick would expand a little and then be blocked.

I remember it fully dawning on me that not only could I not cum but I can’t even get an erection.

A week of cum was built up and I desperately sucked on…worshipped his cock. And he said oh yeah see a week in chastity and you’ve turned into suck a good cocksucker now. It’s good for you.

I finally got him to blast into my mouth. He said see that’s all you needed right? Thank me for feeding you my load.

I did.

And he said ok seriously can you please wait one more day?

And I said yes sir I think I can.

And he said man, you are such a good boy. What did I do do deserve you? Which made me smile.

After that we just watched TV and now believe it or not, I’m typing this out, aching in my cage, while he is next to me snoring.

If Kyle doesn’t fuck me tomorrow I’ll have to just use pineapple cause I can’t make it another day. Or maybe he can just unlock me and jack me off. Just anything I can’t be locked in this thing another 24 hours!!!!

[solardick]

The emperor

CHARLES THE GREAT EMPEROR

The King is victorious in the Lord; and in the mercy of the Most High he will not be moved.

Thais is because the emperor is sided with the pope.

In waite’s version the emperor which was typically drawn in profile suggested a state of indifference. Its back facing the pope and it’s front facing the Empress, was drawn facing the querent. I separated the eye contact. Into its own being and gave the emperor back his profile.

Probably the worst card in the deck.

I wanted to add vision, and dominion, to responsibilities into the deck. The card, odd if it’s profiled. And not direct, and political. As the masculine doesn’t sidetrack. Though these responsibilties of state and structure need attending. This may be replaced by the infinity card. As the emperor here serves to the land. Materially, politically, financially… as long as it sustains and governizes world structure. For the emperor may also serve here in the personal when robes comes off and it’s dragon has say. The dragon here is more likely in power in various forms of warcraft Or dealings with the physical world itself. Involving all the “ally”’s. Easier to corrupt.

At any rate i don’t think its even possible to get a better card image than that. The emperor staring off into the sun. The eagle surveying the land.

And they keep talking about the girl. They want my attention on her…. Ugh. Ok. Ill give you guys something. She has a sweet little virgin mothers body and id tap that. So hard. Apparently they leaving soon or somesuch. But there’s zero dialogue. I learn nothing. And the youngness doesnt bode well for a relationship, Thats what i see in her. A mother to be. Its not everyday i see a girl that i would like to sleep with. The first one in a good long while. Oh well, i just avoid her now. I tried being social, didn’t work. Bye. Too bad we didn’t work the job together. It would have turned out different. And we’d be more open and sociable together. But, to separate it from sex. Because, that isn’t my disposition. From day one. When she first saw me. There was/is something in the way i am that draws her attention to me. Truth? Ruse? At first, i didn’t pay it heed. Cause, it’s my first day and I’m here to get “oriented”. But after awhile, and the way she acted around me. Playing the dumb broad. Puyting her ass in the air. The purposeful avoidance of eye contact. Is where i started to worry. Oh, and the day she flirted with her co-worker while looking back at me and smiling.

Later on, after the avoidance, it was slow. And i liked watching the production line at work. Get a feel for how it work, for something different to see. The people on the lines, movement, all that. One of the days i did this, she was working at the far end. The build up of blocked energy, the constant listening to others talk about her or at the least mention her. Joined in on the guy talk, anyway, a chancr to see how she moves when im not around. I liked ehat i saw, she’s a good competent worker. Then she turns her head, and locked on to me. I don’t pause, and then she turns around faving aeay from her line. I stay gor a second longer, drum a tap on the skid and go do whatever task. At the end of the shoft she then has it arranged to walk around the corner as im leaving and stares me down. Any appraoch of be social was kept to pre-set no’s. And still avoidance of eye contact. (And yet, always looking my way, if i dont at the same time. I see it in my periphery. I tried a bit longer here and there. Social, flicked for a second. But that was all. So now, i don’t know what, involved with fucken with me? Young, dumb and, naive? Working out frustration? Conveniently being in certain places at certain times. Ok, im done bye.

Don’t ruin my Emperor with your bullshit. It’s like the only good masculine card in the deck.

It’s like one guy surrounded by women, and connected to destruction, loss and solitude. If there was ever a more potent feminist elitist tool out there bound on taking out the king. It’s bot very user friendly.

But the cards are still fun to play with. The searching and puzzling. And i yet couldn’t get in to it. Because wtf is this crap? So i started fiddling with it. Connected dots. And then one day i sat down pulled out the cards to the typewritter layout. And placed each one of the added cards into spot. Just like that. And i kept them like that since. Switching the U and I cards a chose. Because it just made more sense that way.

This of course happened each time i unraveled something else. The high priestess card. She’ll pull out all you need from your memory. Being, a feminine “water” card. (At the time) means that the information isn’t logistic. Its more of a feeling based intuition. Which is why i think she should be kept. But my goal here is to make the deck a little more masculine friendly. In a way that doesn’t dramatically alter what’s known to it. For this causes backlash. Take away a Childs pacifier. Candy from a. Baby and all that. And people will start acting even dumber than im capable of.

Here we want you to wear thise light weight comfortable gloves so you dont cut and scratch her hands, which we need from you. And people start bitching and complaining. And im like. F@$&en’ pussies. Everybody wins. You dont het hurt, your taken care of and production isnt halted. This connects back to the wheel card and industrial production. The “hey ho, let’s go” mentality which is a requirement.

Think i got permanent lung damage scaring for a Christmas present this year.

And it doesnt matter. What one does with the cards. When changing images or modifying the deck. It doesnt matter. On the larger scale of things. It will have no impact in the environment. For no one else will have it. It cant travel. Self closed route. Only if it’s distributed. Then whether anyone knows about it it will get into circulation. But at first keep the circle closed. A close net, network. If it’s alive. It can grow. And now the author has it’s own “paradise”. And that influence eventually grows into the populace. Shaping reality.

Oh the grandeur! The judgement is good.

As you can see. I had little choice in the matter the strength card had to go. It works fantastically, on the political constitution. As of a few of major civilization have the national day on one if not both strength and justice cards. I had to go to astrology to find the connection for austrailia.

As in the american fealty of oath thing they do or used to do everyday before class. That’s a strength justice layout. So it really doesn’t matter if it’s classical strength as violence or strength as harmony. Because in this context it’s plainly visible. Conditional programming. Neither of them though say nothing about fortitude. The tower certainly doesn’t. Neither does the emperor. Wearing armour. Fortitude is a defensive name. Violent strength, under the guise of fortitude speaks its own message. Naw, its pressure from the world. One which one may easily shoulder if what it is serves another purpose of raising it higher. To elevate. That. That is golden.

The emperor isn’t as alone anymore.

As it turns out, the new fortitude card, is still connected to the strength card for harmony. For it is connected to the world card and comes back to the fortitude card by letter. So now the fortitude card shows the masculine elevating his woman. Supporting for her as much of the world as he can.

Or it will show oppression, guilt, shame, depression, debt or anything else that weighs on one’s conscience and spirit. It shows the unwielding. The unfolding against pressures of state. And this brings this card to a Saturn.

Vagina.

Looks better card size. The card for infinity. The dragon here serving in the realm of heaven. Is born of the strength card and of the magician card. One two three. The father, the mother, and the holy child. The number eight when not taken as two separate O’s. One way to look at look at it. The magician is a tricky card when considering layering cards and the various depiction of it. None are wrong in the sense that the sum collective answer is always very near the exact question. As above so below

Or as below so above. Which seems just as accurate. Power of manifestation. Which may just as easily be born not knowing what. The A fool, covering its eyes. As is the ace of the minor arcana without form or knowledge. It’s there. It’s started but it’s isn’t there yet. Though the dragon comes before all this. And would actively sort be god. Or the angel on charge of overseeing opérations. And yet also serves as the masculine principle. The instinctual drive. It can serve as any other card. And be found onto every other card as the fool is suggested to be in the tarot. I’m tired so pardon my sloppyness.

[bratkook]

almost. (m) jjk.

not yet, almost, right now

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, baby angst, smut word count. 6.4k warnings. two idiots!!, pining, masturbation (m. and f.), use of vibrator, accidental voyeurism?,  more feelings come to light!! summary. jungkook tries to be the best wingman he could be in your new venture after your breakup. he could do it, right? note. part two of not yet, some more feelings are exposed, please don’t hate oc she is but a pendeja that doesn’t see the obvious feelings jungkook has but she has good intentions i promise<3 there will most likely be a final part,,if you guys are into it lmao okie bye

The cool summer breeze flows around you as you’re sitting under the shade, eyes focused on the chaos of runny yolk and hashbrowns that is your breakfast. Jungkook on the other hand, is focused on you. His signature yellow shades block out the sun reflecting from passing cars, concealing his eyes just enough for you to not see him blatantly staring at you while you stuff your face. 

The charmed smile he has falters slightly when you look directly at him, hashbrown lingering by your lip as you repeat his name. “Sorry, what?”

Your brows come together as you smile at his zoned out state, something you had grown fond of in the years of knowing him, always enjoying the small dazed look that graced his face whenever he was lost in his thoughts. His lips push out slightly in question, curious eyes wondering just what you could have been asking him. 

“I was saying that I think I’m giving up on crushes and love.” You say it so easily, mind made up as you grin at him before continuing to shovel hashbrowns into your mouth, only pausing to take a sip of your iced coffee. 

Jungkook tries his best to seem unaffected, nodding along in interest as he takes a steady bite of his own food. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a look around at the people surrounding you: friends having breakfast together and snapping photos, couples feeding each other food with smiles on their faces, a lone man with his dog perched on the seat across from his while he worked on his computer. You briefly wonder if all of them, even the dog, have better luck with love than you do. 

“I think I’m cursed,” you continue. “All of my exes have been assholes, and I’ve always been too blind to see it until it’s over and I’m left crying over Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.”

“Maybe you’re just looking for love in the wrong places,” Jungkook shrugs, internally screaming because he’s who you should be looking at if you wanted love. 

Not to toot his own horn, but Jungkook liked to think he was a good guy, a great boyfriend even. His previous track record of relationships could attest to that, all of them ending on mutual terms, still friendly and civil with each other. He’s almost certain if there was a Yelp page for him it would be at least 4.5 stars with comments raving about how great he is, even little anecdotal touches about how he always gave away his hoodies or offered to cook breakfast. 

He was a god damn catch, why couldn’t you see that?

“Maybe prince charming is a lot closer than you think,” he grumbles out, stabbing his omelette with a little more force than necessary, fork clanking against the plate. And when you gasp in realization he freezes, slowly looking back up at you and seeing the way your eyes widen. 

“Wait, maybe you’re right!” Your hand shoots across the table, gripping onto his forearm and it sends a shock throughout him, skin tingling at your touch. “You know that coffee shop below our building? That cute barista always puts a heart next to my name. Do you think I should ask for his number?”

Jungkook blinks once, slowly twirls his fork in his hand and blinks again before staring up at the sky, mentally asking why he couldn’t just go out and say it. “Hm, I don’t think you should.“

With a defeated sigh you retract your hand, slumping back into your seat and grabbing your iced coffee once more, stirring the straw and ice around as you nod. “True. What if he feels obligated to give it to me just because he doesn’t want to get fired in case I go all Karen on his ass.”

That wasn’t why Jungkook had said not to, but sure, that works too, so he hums along. 

“I bet he draws hearts on all the other girls cups too.” You huff, playfully wiping a tear under your eye with a smile. 

“I’ve actually—“

“You know what I—“

You both freeze mid sentence, Jungkook’s cheeks tinted a light pink as he stutters on his words, wide eyes staring at you as if he had caught himself before you cut him off. But as you’re about to tell him to go on, he waves you off and urges you to speak first. 

“I was just gonna say that maybe I should go through that wild phase people usually go through after breakups.”

He sets his silverware down on the plate and sips his water, giving you an odd look. “Wild phase? Like you wanna dye your hair red and get bangs?”

“No,” you cackle, ruffling a hand through your own hair as you picture yourself with that combination. “I should just go out and hook up with people. I feel like I’ve either been in a relationship or entirely single, so it could be fun right?”

“Uh, maybe...” he trails off, rolling his lips together in thought, not exactly fond of hearing you say that when he had felt the confession about to roll off his tongue. He takes a slow breath, trying to see this from a neutral point, the point of a supportive friend wanting to help you get over a breakup. 

“How do you go about it?”

“Me?” he chokes, pointing at his chest as if there was magically some other person you could be addressing. 

“Yes, you. Need I remind you, we share a wall between our beds.” You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face shows that you’re speaking of this lightly, not entirely annoyed by the fact that you had heard Jungkook during his own fair share of hook ups. 

He’s not ashamed of it, but considering he never really brought up being able to hear you, he thought you’d pretend to never hear him. It wasn’t too often that he had a girl over, the number of hookups only increasing after you got with Hajoon and loosely cut ties with Jungkook. But from what you had heard—and seen thanks to your nosey self looking through peep holes once they left—it was very rarely the same girl. 

So to you, Jungkook was a pro at the art of hookups. 

“Right, sorry,” he grimaces, a sheepish smile on his lips as he wonders just how many times his activities kept you up at night. 

“It’s fine, consider us even.” A teasing laugh follows your statement, enjoying the flustered look on his face, how his cheeks get even darker in embarrassment. Jungkook was used to the two of you talking like this, neither of you having a filter especially when it came to sexual aspects, but he hadn’t had a conversation like this since before you got with Hajoon. It would take some getting used to again. 

“So, give me the tips. Where do you find people?”

Jungkook leans back into his chair, arms stretching out on either side of him, short sleeves of his black tee bunching up and revealing more of his tattoos and the rippling of his muscles. With a small laugh he rakes his hand through his fluffy hair, giving you a small smile. “Honestly? Anywhere. I’ve gotten girl’s numbers at the gym and at coffee shops, but bars are the best bet for something quick.”

“Ugh, fuck you and your pretty privilege.” 

“What?” he guffaws, smiling wide and showing you his adorable smile as he laughs loudly, not caring about the attention he draws to your table. He doesn’t even realize how the table full of girls is now trying to discreetly stare at him, because his eyes are on you. You see it though, and it further proves your point. “What the hell is pretty privilege?”

Your wild hands gesture towards him, a look of disbelief on your face as you do so. “You! Of course girls line up to hand you their number, have you seen yourself? Pretty privilege,” you jab your fork at him in time with your final words, a smirk on your glossy lips. 

Jungkook feels his confidence grow at your casual compliment, tongue prodding at his cheek as he stares down at his food, trying not to smile too hard. You thought he was pretty, that was a win in his book. 

“C’mon,” he teases, foot gently nudging your leg underneath the table. “You could totally score someone's number. Plus there's always apps if you just wanna test the water.”

You give your plate a contemplated stare, “Sure, how hard could it be?”

Admittedly, the answer to that question was: not hard at all. You had met all your previous boyfriends in person, through mutual friends or shared classes back in college, never once dipping your toe into the world of Tinder or Bumble. Who knew all it would take was a couple of selfies and the strategic body shot to have boys circling around you like some new-age, slightly filthier version of rapunzel. 

Jungkook knew though, not at all shocked by how quickly you get a match the following day when he’s at your place. His eyes are focused on the screen in front of him, helping you beat a level in your favorite game that you had been stuck on. But the second you gasp as if you’ve won the lottery, he pauses the game entirely and gives you an odd look. 

“What?”

His answer comes in the form of your phone thrusted in his direction, lit up screen displaying your profile picture and the one of the boy you had just matched with. Jung Hoseok. Jungkook’s eyes narrow as he reads the name, trying to remember it in case he somehow had a friend in common that knew all the dirt on him. 

He has a similar pair of yellow shades on his own head, thicker black rims around them and a charming smile on his face. Jungkook chuckles to himself. Yellow shades? How original. 

“What do I say?” you question, eyes looking nervous as you wiggle the phone in his face. The small white bar beneath your match urges you to start a conversation, and coming up with the right words to say makes you overthink it all. 

“Just say hi and tack on some cute emoji. It’s not that hard,” he laughs, pushing the phone back at you. Jungkook knew you could start the message off any way you wanted and this Jung Hoseok would eat it right up. How could he not, the alluring smile in your profile photo would draw anyone in. 

“Okay, I did it.” Your phone is instantly locked and chucked aside in an attempt to be forgotten, choosing to grab the remote out of Jungkook’s hands for another distraction. It only lasts a brief second before you’re killed by the boss Jungkook was trying to defeat. 

“Really?” Jungkook huffs, yanking the remote back into his hands, needing a distraction himself. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were searching for a fuck buddy while he sat beside you. How crazy would it be if he suggested being your fuck buddy, offered to help you through this so called wild phase you were searching for. 

No. That’s not what he wants. 

Would he enjoy it? Sure. But he could already imagine how much worse his heart would hurt if his feelings came to light and yours were non-existent. That is if you’d even agree to it. 

“Relax, he’s probably thinking of what to reply.”

You make a noise of disagreement, fingers itching to unlock your device to see if it was true, slowly inching towards it until you finally grab it and go back onto the app. Jungkook just chuckles as he goes back to helping you with your game, not wanting to look at you as you giggle at your device. He could already imagine what this guy was telling you for you to turn into a giddy mess not even two minutes in. 

He tunes it all out, eyes focused on the screen, fingers gripping the remote with a little more force than needed. His concentration helps him though, finally passing the level you’ve been stuck on for the past two weeks. 

“You’re welcome,” he sighs, making a show of stretching out and sending you a smile, having it falter slightly when he sees your eyes still focused on the screen of your phone. With a frown he looks back at the television, saving the game before turning it off altogether. 

Once he gets up from the couch, making his way over to the media console to store the remotes, is when you look up at him. “You’re right, this is easy!”

Jungkook doesn’t feel the usual pride that comes with being right, but the cheerful look on your face prevents him from feeling salty. Coming back towards the couch, he sits beside you once more, facing you as he rests his elbow on the back cushion to lean on. “Told you so.”

He keeps that same smile on his face as you mention how quick Hoseok was to ask you out on a date, even as you bring up the fact that this date would be at his place, and Jungkook could decipher netflix and chill any way some greasy boy tried to conceal it. 

“I hope he knows I don’t want anything serious,” you mumble, chewing on your fingernail as you scroll through the messages. 

Jungkook could almost laugh at how blissfully unaware you were of the piranha infested water that was the great sea of Tinder. Of course this yellow sunglass wearing wannabe version of him knows you don’t want anything serious, why else would he be so quick to invite you over with the cheeky excuse to watch movies. 

All he can do is shrug as he stares at you, lips pressed together in an effort to not say something that would totally ruin everything. Instead, Jungkook does everything he can to be the best version of a wingman you could get. He tells you the ins and outs of hookups, how you should definitely not text him the minute you leave his place and tell him you had fun, don’t talk about anything super personal involving family or your work, and if he doesn’t offer to go down on you but expects a blowjob he’s a loser. 

It’s solid advice that you mentally jot down, subjecting him to further questions your mind comes up with and even asking him for help on an outfit via text the night of your hangout with Jung Hoseok. 

Jungkook stares at the photos for a little too long if he’s being honest. They weren’t spectacular selfies that you had taken much effort for, their sole purpose being showing off the outfit, but the way you look so focused as you snapped the shot had him zooming into your face and smiling like an idiot. When you double text him with a long line of question marks he snaps out of it, deciding on the second option you picked of mom jeans and a cropped shirt. Cute and casual, and definitely something Jungkook preferred, but he’d never tell you that. 

When you finally text him a thumbs up and tell him you’re on your way out he just hearts the message before locking his device and trudging to the living room. It’s not often that he wallows in self pity, spacing those days out so far he barely remembers them. But they usually went exactly like this, ordering a large meat lovers pizza with extra cheese, drinking far too many Mike’s hard lemonade—because despite how much they made his stomach hurt they were tasty so he didn’t care—and binge watching his comfort show: Modern Family. 

But even as he sulks on his couch, practically sinking into the cushions with horrible posture and a slice of pizza resting on his chest, he can’t find it in himself to chuckle at Cam and Mitch’s usual banter. He’s too busy thinking about which movie you’re currently watching, if you were watching it. Who’s Jungkook kidding though, you were totally getting your guts rearranged right now. 

Taking an aggressive bite out of the crust he frowns and raises the volume up on his television, attempting to drown the mocking voice in his head calling him a loser for not admitting to his feelings. He knew this, knew he should have said something when he wanted to at breakfast, but Jungkook was afraid that if he confessed as you were talking about hooking up, that you’d see him as taking advantage of a situation instead of being genuine. I mean who wouldn’t? You say you want something casual and suddenly he’s spilling his heart out and you’re supposed to believe he’s not some pig trying to butter you up. He didn’t want to get labeled as a creepy neighbor after the good times you’ve had. 

“So stupid,” he grumbles to himself as he takes another swig, the last drops of the alcohol hitting his tongue with a tangy aftertaste. As he sits up to place the empty bottle onto his coffee table his muscles ache, neck stiff from the unfortunate position it had been subjected to for the last three hours. With a small huff he’s rolling his shoulders, reaching for his discarded phone to see the time—and also check if you’d sent him some SOS text—but he finds nothing besides the bright numbers indicating that it was nearing midnight.

In true pity party day fashion, he doesn’t even bother cleaning up after his mess, just tossing the dirty dishes into the sink to be washed tomorrow when he would force himself to be in a better mood. Instead, he grabs a water and his phone and waddles into his bedroom. 

The moonlight illuminates the space enough for him to keep the light switch off, undressing from his crumb covered sweats and shirt, choosing to remain in his boxers as he slipped under the cold duvet. The sheets feel fresh against his hot cheeks, flush from the alcohol, cooling him down and making his body relax. 

Jungkook knows he should sleep, needing to be up early tomorrow for work, but he can’t stop his mind from wandering into dangerous territory. His buzzed brain has no qualms imagining exactly what you were doing right now, wondering if you’d be the type to act shy at a guy’s house for the first time, if you’d initiate the first move or not. Jungkook had only seen it up close once under the flash of strobe lights and the haze of alcohol, but he can still picture the soft smile on your face before you go in for a kiss, and he grumbles under his breath when he realizes that he wouldn’t be the one kissing you tonight. 

What he doesn’t know, is that you wouldn’t be the one getting kissed tonight either. The Jung Hoseok you had perceived through Tinder, assuming he was all casual and DTF with his netflix and chill suggestion, had been anything but. What you thought would be a steamy night, ended up becoming a nice dinner and comedy watched, morphing into some version of game night where you discovered he was a little too competitive than you were used to. The only action you got was a kiss to your cheek as he walked you to your car and a promise for another date. A promise you would not be keeping. 

So as Jungkook lays in bed while his thoughts turn into some fantasy of you moaning out his name, you shuffle into your bedroom and slip into your pajamas with a defeated sigh. You had already texted your best friend telling her what a bust tonight had been, deciding to just tell Jungkook all about it tomorrow because you knew he was most likely fast asleep now. And as you settle under your own covers, inches away from Jungkook with only a wall seperating you, you decide to just call it a night and pretend it never happened. 

Just as you shut your eyes, nuzzling into your pillow, you hear the first moan come from behind the wall. A small cry of despair escapes you as you bury your face into your sheets, tugging them up and over your head to block the sound of Jungkook getting some action the same night you had been left high and dry. Of course he would, assuming you’d be getting the same treatment at your date's place, why wouldn’t he take advantage of your absence and not have to muffle his partner’s moans the way he usually did. 

You’re just going to ignore it, until you hear a moan that sounds strangely like your own name. Maybe it's wishful thinking on your part, your horny brain deciding to pretend that Jungkook was calling for you instead of whoever he was with. It might be a little wrong for you to have that fantasy of your neighbor, but you aren’t blind. He’s hot, and adorably sweet, the perfect package for any girl he tried to swoon. And judging by the cries you’ve heard of lucky girls prior, you know he was good in bed. 

You’re just desperate now. That’s the excuse you tell yourself as you slowly settle onto your back, feeling your body warm up when you focus on his muffled groans, desperate and needy. As your hand slowly slides down your shirt, you shut your eyes, biting down onto your lip to muffle any sound you could make when your fingers slip underneath your pants and past your underwear. 

Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t care about his volume. His boxers are tugged down his thighs, knees bent as he slowly ruts into his sticky palm. His hand is tacky with the lube he had messily squirted on, thick cock glistening in the light coming in from his window. He can’t look away from it, mouth dropped open as he groans, imagining it was your hand tightly wrapped around him, your spit covering his cock instead of that strawberry flavored lube. 

“Ah fuck,” he moans, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back onto his soft pillows when his thumb rubs along his slit. It continues to leak beads of precum, quickly wiped away to join the mess on his cock when his hand slides back down and squeezes along his base. 

You hear that loud and clear, and when the female voice you’re expecting never follows, you realize he must be taking care of himself. It makes you feel a little less guilty now as your fingers trail along your slit, collecting the slick coating your folds before you softly circle your clit. A choked gasp fills the air at the small sensation, your body already wired after having expected to get some action tonight; it totally had nothing to do with your hot neighbor jacking off inches away from you. 

With your eyes fluttering shut, you strain your ears to make out any other noise, muffling your own groans with a hand pressed against your mouth. The bed creaks lightly underneath you as you roll your hips into your hand, getting into a smooth rhythm that makes your body buzz. 

Slowly, your imagination runs wild, and you wonder just what Jungkook was thinking of as he did this. Was he watching some porn as he did it, using his own filthy thoughts to push himself to ecstacy, or was this just something he needed to do to be able to sleep? 

“Shit, so good,” he groans out, voice raspy, but you can sense his desperation through the drywall. It’s what has you sinking a single digit into your drenched entrance, biting down onto your lower lip when you feel the glide of your walls as you start to thrust into yourself, easing in another and mewling at the slight stretch. 

Jungkook would absolutely give his left leg to know what your pussy felt like, he didn’t even care how disgusting he sounded by admitting that to himself, it was true. Blame it on the hard lemonade that made his stomach ache and his mind unfiltered, but he could almost visualize how you’d look above him, could practically feel the warmth of your core wrapped around him, dripping down his length as he fucked into you. 

He knows you’re loud in bed, never being one to conceal your cries of pleasure and he would die happy to hear his name come out of your mouth as you creamed his cock. But for now, his hand would have to do. 

His lids feel too heavy, jaw slack as the pleasure flows through his body. The wet squelch of his palm fills the room, mingling with his pants and groans, air growing thick around him. It’s been a while since Jungkook had jacked off, and even longer since he’d been able to do it shamelessly in bed without the fear of you hearing him, but now that he thought you were gone he can’t find it in himself to cover his mouth or groan into his pillows like he usually did. 

The pent up frustration fogs up his mind, cranks the lust up to 11 until his free hand is gripping his sheets beside him, bed frame creaking as his thrusts speed up. The thuds of his headboard hitting the wall come from behind you, a choked moan blending in with it, and it has you scrambling for your bedside drawer. 

The pajamas you wear get yanked off your legs and tossed aside after you grab your trusty vibrator, settling onto your back once more with huff. All it takes is a press of a button for the device to come to life, buzzing in your hand as you trail it up your thighs. A gasp escapes you when you pass it over your mound, brushing against your clit and sending a jolt of pleasure through you. 

“Oh my god,” you whimper when you finally press the vibrating head directly onto your sensitive clit, legs spreading further apart as you increase the intensity. You could clearly hear the raise in Jungkook’s moans, and that's when the first irrational thought pops into your mind. 

How easy would it be for you to head over to his place and deal with both of your problems. Surely Jungkook wouldn’t have an issue with you offering to suck his dick, wouldn’t mind letting you sink down onto him if it was just a friendly favor. 

The little devil on your shoulder tells you it would be mutually beneficial, urging you to get up and walk to Jungkook’s with the vibrator still in your hand, but you can’t. This alone felt like enough of a dirty secret, a secret you’d have absolutely no problem keeping because although you feel slightly ashamed, you couldn’t deny how turned on you are. 

The flashes of all the times you’ve heard Jungkook with other people play in your mind, the screams of his name that he tried to muffle, pleas for him to go faster, the resounding smack of his palm on flesh that always left you wide eyed when you heard it. And you start to wonder if maybe you’d be into that, the feeling of his large tattooed hand connecting with your ass, gently tapping against your cheek for you to open up for his cock. 

That fantasy is like the first ember needed to start the fire inside of you, spreading uncontrollably until you’re bucking into your vibrator, teeth biting down on your lip to keep any potential moans of his name from slipping out. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he chants, the same fire burning within him. Maybe your minds are linked telepathically, his thoughts gravitating to the same filthy fantasy you had. Jungkook was very much an ass man, knowing very well how good your butt looked in jeans from how often he stared at it, he could only imagine how good it would look as he fucked you from behind. Picturing the way it would bounce back from the force of his thrusts, eyes glued to the way you’d soak his cock, mimicking the tightness of your walls with a firm grip of his palm. 

Jungkook can sense his orgasm approaching, leaves his chest feeling tight as he pants, legs gliding along his sheets for leverage to continue fucking into his hand. You’re not far off either, vibrator set to the highest setting you can practically feel your bones rattling, free hand slipped under your shirt as you pinch at your pebbled nipples. You’re both on the brink of falling over the edge, the same question playing in your mind: where would you want Jungkook to cum?

As his moans get breathier, whiny in a way you’d never imagine them to be, you mentally decide that you’d want him to cum inside of you, wanting to see the way his cute face would twist up in pleasure as he filled you up. Jungkook hopes you would, throwing all responsible thinking aside for that sweet moment of ecstasy and the mental picture is enough to finally push him over. 

“Ah shit, baby,” he cries out in his room—thankfully having half the mind to not cry out your name as he came—eyes rolling back as his cock twitches in his palm, ribbons of cum splashing onto his stomach and chest. The warmth hits his skin, more droplets continuing to leak out as his palm milks his orgasm, stomach hiccuping and back arching from the stimulation. 

The choked moan is what has your own orgasm washing over you, your palm slapping over your mouth so hard you know you’ll feel the ache later but you don’t care. A muffled gasp blends with the buzzing of your toy, thighs tensing up as your body tingles and writhes around on your sheets. 

The only thing you can think of is Jungkook, the charming smile he’d give you when he listened to you rant about anything, his annoying habit of rolling up his sleeves to show off his muscles, the cute scowl on his face whenever you managed to beat him at Mario Kart, and the soft feeling of his alcohol coated lips on yours. It leaves you feeling warm as your orgasm flows through you, lying limp on the bed as you mewl at the sensitivity. 

When you realize your thoughts have strayed from ‘pure sexy Jungkook fantasyland’, and switched over to ‘Jeon Jungkook your adorable neighbor’, your eyes go wide, finger immediately going to turn off the vibrator. In your haste to shut it off, you click the wrong button, changing the pulsing settings and nearly screaming when the device starts to buzz erratically against your overly sensitive clit. 

With a strained gasp you yank it away from yourself, turn it off and throw it aside, horribly miscalculating the size of your bed and watching in horror as it lands on the floor with a loud thud. The complete silence from both sides makes the noise sound deafening, and all you can do is sit on your bed, half naked, and hope Jungkook is still too busy basking in his post orgasm bliss to hear the bang. 

Although the blood is still pumping in his ears, he heard the thud clearly. His heart stops in his chest as he lays there, too scared to breathe in case he’d somehow make too much noise, suddenly afraid of being too loud after he had just made a show of himself. Jungkook slowly sits himself up, grimacing at the stickiness on his stomach before pressing his ear against his headboard to try to hear anything else. 

All you want to do is yank the covers over yourself and go to sleep, pretend your horrendous date and your dirty thoughts about your friend never happened. The sobering mentality that comes after an orgasm settles into you, leaving you staring at the floor with a crease between your brows as you wonder what the hell came over you. 

When Jungkook hears nothing else, he sighs in relief, hauling himself out of bed to grab another pair of underwear before entering his bathroom to clean up. As he stares at his own reflection in the mirror, he frowns at how pathetic he feels. The throbbing headache of his earlier drinks is already starting to kick in, body now sweaty from exertion, stomach covered in his cum. 

“Such a loser,” he grumbles out, grabbing a wad of tissues to wipe away the mess on his skin before walking back out. Here he was, getting off to the thought of you, while you were out having your post-breakup wild phase. 

His hands grab his phone as he reaches his nightstand, flopping back onto the bed and unlocking the device. It’s now one in the morning, and you still hadn’t text him, which either meant you were having the time of your life, or Jungkook had to track down this Jung Hoseok. The slightly protective side of him won’t allow him to sleep until he hears back from you, fingers already typing out a message and hitting send. 

Jungkook 1:23am : you safe or am i gonna have to go all Liam Neeson on this guy?

When your phone vibrates on your nightstand you gasp, grabbing it before it could make any more noise. Seeing Jungkook’s name flash on the screen makes your blood run cold, already imagining what the text could be: calling you dirty for getting off on him, making fun of you, telling you to come ove—no stop that. 

Finally mustering up the courage, you open it up, a small laugh spilling out as you read his message, relief flooding through you as you realize that meant he thought you were still with Hoseok. 

Y/N 1:26am : oh yeah, you gonna show him your very particular set of skills? lol

Y/N 1:26am : i just got home though

Y/N 1:26am : like right now

Y/N 1:26am : still sitting in my living room

Y/N 1:27am : haha

He laughs at your string of texts, something you hear as he settles into bed. Jungkook ebbs away the small feeling of jealousy in his chest, trying to see the silver lining of this. You weren’t rushing to tell him anything about your date which meant it either went so good you wanted to keep it to yourself, or it was subpar and you wouldn’t be seeing this yellow sunglass wearing copycat again. 

Jungkook 1:29am : glad you got home safe, goodnight y/n!

Sending back a goodnight text, you lock your phone and slide deeper into bed, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you stare at the ceiling. You already know the only thing you’ll be dreaming about is your cute neighbor with a bunny smile and body proportions that contradicted it. And as Jungkook lays in bed, wondering if he’ll have to push the crush aside, you’re barely coming to terms with the fact that the small glowing feeling that came with being around him might be something else. 

Every single one of your interactions gets rewinded and played back like a seamless montage, remembering just how many almost moments there was between you. The way his eyes would flash down to your lips whenever you playfully argued on your couch, hands yanking the remotes from his in a game of tug of war that left you way too close in the heat of the moment. How he’d let you braid his hair anytime you found a new youtube tutorial, his starry eyes staring at you with so much adoration it made your stomach flip, brushing it off as love for a friend. 

Then came the jokes from your friends, constantly teasing you about Jungkook, playfully saying they would try to sleep with him just because they liked the scowl on your face, and how quickly you tried to play it off. How the sweet old lady from the convenience store downstairs always assumed you were dating when you came in together, the low jab she sent when you walked in with Hajoon and she said she preferred you with Jungkook. That argument had been one of the ones that left him bolting out of your apartment with a nasty slam of the door, spewing nasty words at you, calling you blind for not seeing it and dumb for acting like you had no idea what he was talking about. 

And for the first time, you come to the sudden realization that Hajoon was right. His deep set insecurities about Jungkook had stemmed from scraps of the truth, not just from him but from you too. The amount of times you’d find a way to slide Jungkook’s name into a conversation about anything, telling him funny stories about him, too lost in thought to see that while you were giggling as you reminisce, he was staring at you in disbelief. 

The final thought that makes you want a blackhole to swallow you up, comes in the form of you, grabbing Jungkook’s face before planting a kiss on his unsuspecting lips at the club. You want to scream into your pillow as you recall it, how he had almost leaned back in to kiss you again before you had sobered him up with your dumb question rooted in revenge. 

“Oh my god, I’m such a bitch.” you whimper. Subjecting Jungkook to be your wingman, jokingly telling him he should be your fake boyfriend more often, asking him for tips with hook ups. If everyone else could see it but you, he probably thought you were purposely friendzoning him. 

The guilt piles on top of you as you start to piece together every moment that flew over your head, only making you bury yourself deeper into your sheets. It makes your heart twist, taking note of how Jungkook was always so quick to put a smile on his face despite how naive you were to it all, wondering if maybe it was too late to try to make something of this now. How many times could you call Jungkook ‘bro’ and treat him like you didn’t see him romantically, before he decided there was no hope for him anymore. 

So as you force yourself to sleep, nerves and uncertainty weighing heavy on your mind, Jungkook snores away as he dreams of the almost moments that could have been.

[babyboibucky]

The Match

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.

Word Count: 1,446

Warnings: HMMMM sexual tension 😏

A/N: I wrote this in a whirl and tried to format it through the app last night and it SUCKS so I’m posting this just now. Anyway, there will definitely be a smutty part two to this lmfao ya know it

Edit: PART 2 IS UP!!!

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Saturday night and you’re on your bed, wine-drunk and all as you mindlessly swiped through Tinder. You start to frown when none of the guys impressed you enough to swipe right. Their bios were all the same, revolving around their egos only to end up with the good ol’ “DTF” line.

Bored and disappointed, you almost exited the app until a very, very familiar face appeared on your screen.

“Holy shitballs, it’s our boss.” You sat up immediately, bringing your phone to your face for a close inspection.

Indeed, it was your boss James Barnes but he was using “Bucky” as his profile name. You wondered whether it was his real account or a poser one. But then you remembered his closest colleagues calling him that.

You snorted as you checked out his profile. He didn’t have a bio but had a couple of photos uploaded. And oh wow, is that a shirtless mirror photo?

You rarely worked closely with your boss but goddamn, sometimes you wished you did because he was a hot piece of ass.

“Should I swipe right...” you mumbled to yourself.

Would it be unprofessional to do so? But then again, you never really interacted with him that much. Just a couple of polite nods and greetings whenever you passed by him at the office. You weren’t even directly reporting to him.

That being said, you were quite sure that he wouldn’t swipe right on you given that you’re his employee. Of course he wouldn’t want to be the unprofessional one so being tipsy and all, you decided to take one for the team.

“Tss, what the hell.” You huffed out and swiped right.

Not even a second later, the “It’s a match!” message popped up on the screen almost immediately. You choked on your wine and dropped your phone, eyes wide and heart racing because you just matched with your fucking boss.

“Shit!” You hissed, diving onto the floor the pick your phone up.

If the message popped out as soon as you swiped right on him, then that means...

“He swiped right on me first, what the fuck!”

-

Monday came quickly and you’ve never been this restless before. You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that you matched with your boss on Tinder. Neither of you messaged the other over the weekend but now that you were headed to work, you honestly didn’t know what to expect.

You debated whether to call in sick or maybe, pretend that you died? Pack your bags and perhaps fly to a different country and start anew? You were overacting but matching with your boss on a dating app known for hook-ups should be a valid reason to justify your thoughts.

Maybe James didn’t recognize you that’s why he swiped right. That was possible since you and him didn’t really work together. It’d be better if he swiped right by accident, his phone probably slipped from his hands. He probably doesn’t even know he matched with you, yeah, you decided to settle on that conclusion.

Taking a deep breath in, you fixed your hair before stepping out of your car. Mondays were meant for meetings so he probably wouldn’t be around the office anyway. You rushed over to the elevator and let out a sigh of relief when you didn’t have to share it with anyone.

That was until someone managed to slip a foot in between the doors, catching up to you before the elevators slammed shut.

“Oh.”

Well, well, well if it isn’t James “Bucky” Barnes. Out of all the people you had to share an elevator with, it just had to be him! And judging by how his eyes widened at the sight of you, the Tinder incident wasn’t simply an accident.

“Good morning.” He greeted, clearing his throat as he stood beside you.

James’ scent wafted in the air as soon as the doors slid close and he smelled divine. He smelled like a man, a man man and it almost made your eyes roll. You greeted him back with a soft voice, fighting so hard not to look at him because as always, he looked pretty damn good.

He was restless beside you, adjusting his suit and then his tie. You could see him through your peripheral vision, he kept on fixing his hair as well. Did he get a haircut? It was shorter than before, not that you were paying way too much attention to him.

Meanwhile, you too were fidgeting with your shoulder bag, picking at the leather and praying for this torture to be over before you could even lose control and slam your lips against his.

“How was your weekend?” James asked, glancing at you.

This was probably the longest conversation you had with your boss. You weren’t even sure which was more awkward, striking a conversation after the match or simply remaining quiet for the entire ride up.

“Um, it was good. Yours?” You asked, stammering a little as you stole a quick glance at him.

James nodded, “Good too. Interesting actually.”

Fuck! He knows, he so knows about the match.

You would have preferred complete silence over the elevator music echoing in the air while the both of you were obviously feeling the tension. Was the elevator really this slow?! And when did it get this hot?!

You started fanning yourself when you started to sweat from the awkwardness of it all. Bucky too could obviously feel it, the tension and the elephant in the room waiting to be acknowledged. He loosened his tie all of a sudden, popping the top buttons of his dress shirt which quickly reminded you of the shirtless pic in his profile.

You could feel the heat creep up to your neck and ears. With how bright the lights were in the elevator, it’d be easy for James to notice how red you turned.

“Kinda hot today, don’t you think?” He asked.

You let out a mirthless chuckle, “Yeah, really hot. I think the maintenance should have the air conditioning unit checked.” You breathed out, clearing your throat again as you wiped the sweat forming on your forehead.

For a couple of seconds there was nothing but the collective sounds of you and your boss clearing your throats. The tension was so thick you can literally touch it if you tried. You wanted to address the unspoken issue but how the hell were you going to do that? Jump on his bones? It would seem like a good idea to do so except that he was your boss and that would result to you losing your job.

You wanted to ask James though, whether he was aware that you were his employee when he swiped right. Actually, you just wanted to bring up the topic just to get it over with. Acknowledge the match and then pretend it didn’t happen to save you both from the embarrassment. Yeah, you could do that.

Unable to hold back anymore, you broke the silence to ask James a question.

“Did you swipe right on accident?”

“So are you down to fuck?”

You and James asked at the same time, his straightforward question making you weak in the knees because what the hell...

James bit his lip, shaking his head in response. “I didn’t.”

“Oh.” You blinked, unable to stop yourself from staring at James’ mouth when he ran his tongue over his lower lip before taking it in between his teeth as he looked you over with glazed eyes.

Damn that tongue, though. And damn those blue eyes too.

“Are you...?” He repeated again, reminding you of his question.

Your boss, whom you rarely interacted with in the office, just asked you whether you were down to fuck. Truthfully, you were only on Tinder because of boredom and it wasn’t your goal to actually hook-up with someone. But now that your hot boss swiped right on you and seemed to be really interested in you...

“I...uhh...” you stammered, not really knowing how to tell him that yes, you would very much like to be fucked by him.

The elevator dinged, interrupting the tension between you and James. The doors slid open and James quickly straightened up before walking ahead.

But not without turning around to look at you expectantly, waiting for a response.

Due to the pressure and the elevator doors beginning to close, you blurted out the first thing that you could muster.

“Yes, sir!”

You blushed at your response but it seemed to have stirred something in James because his eyes darkened as he smirked at you.

“Good. Then I’ll see you in my office in fifteen.”

-

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[jxngh]

Hey! It's me again with another request. 😅

What about a Hoseok that everyone underestimate and think that just because he's so adorable, a true gentleman and even cheesy that they don't think he can be good at bed.

So, some girls make a bet (idk let's pretend their work colleagues or they're in college, what suits you better) what they don't know is, that Hoseok somehow, actually finds out about this bet, but he's not bother at all, on the contrary, he's beyond thrilled since he's been wanted to fuck hard OC, so this is his chance to prove her how wrong she actually is.

The player will be end up being played.

A good boy with a little a very dirty secret behind doors. What do you think? 👀

hii!! this has been on my drafts for weeks and just finished it! hope you'll enjoy ✨ thank you so much for 600+ followers btw 🥺

if you enjoy my content please consider buying me a coffee 🥺🤍

your sweet boss is made a party for the ones who freshly started work with you. you didn't expect anything less from a gentleman as him. he was always disciplined but never not supportive and adorable. sometimes even cheesy.

you and your work colleagues were in the party. and after some food and drinks - and not seeing him around - they basically started gossipping. you were trying to be friends with the new colleagues but you all were in the same conversation so you kinda had to be in it.

"soo... what do you guys think about your new boss?" asked one of your close colleagues. she loved gossipping and stuff like that, was so fun all the time.

"he's super sweet...i don't know if it's because we're new to be honest." said the new girl. and the new boy added "i feel like he's a gentleman but...we don't know how is he in bed right?" he made a funny voice. you all laughed.

"bet he's not good at bed, seems too soft." your fun friend said while she's taking another bite from the food. and she turned to you before asking. "what do you think, __?"

"i don't know..." you looked at her, then the others. "he seems vanilla but i can't really say if he's bad."

they talked about it a little then the conversation changed.

you were still thinking about it tho. the thing you didn't know was that he heard your talk while he's getting another drink from a table closer to you guys.

after a week from the party, to check your work, he came to your room. at least that was what you thought. you thought that you did something wrong and he was here to show you how to fix it. as he did multiple times before.

but no, here he was showing you the plans of the new design of the office from the computer, too close to your face while he's behind the chair you're sitting at. you couldn't focus on the screen because of him.

and you couldn't decide if it's smell that is making your mind dizzy or the tone of his voice. there was definitely something different today.

"are you even listening __?" he asked and that was when you really started listening. your attention was on his side profile which is looking like he's a painting.

"oh uhm yes. sorry, i got distracted." you confessed.

that put a grin to his face. he came closer to you, leaving a deep breath. you felt small tingles on your neck.

"you're one of my best workers and you always listen carefully what i say, __. is something wrong?" he asked you, eyes traveling to your lips for a millisecond. the gap between you two was so small, you could feel his capturing smell making your mind dumb.

"n-nothing." you stuttered, trying too hard to look at him in the eyes. your mind was screaming at you that you should get back but you just stayed still.

he took a deep breath and tilted his head.

"is this vanilla?"

wha- what was he talking about? why did he just highlight the word? did he hear you talking? shit. you were going to be fired if he did. plus you didn't want him to hear those words, you just said it. ugh.

your eyes widened but you tried to act like he's talking about something else.

"what is?" you looked up at him, his breathtaking features. the grey suit was covering his body so well. damn, you thought.

he looked at you and talked before slightly smirking.

"the colour, __. what else could it be?"

you looked down and gulped before looking at him again.

"i d-don't know sir." you felt your cheeks getting hotter, shit. what was happening to you? you weren't exactly a shy type of woman but the sudden hint made you flustered.

he held the armrests of your chair and turned you to face him, then he gently nipped your chin and made you look up.

"why are you getting red? tell me what's on your mind, baby." he said staying still and leaving only few centimeters between your faces.

him calling you that sent a flutter to your heart. what happened to the sweetest boss you had? and more importantly, why did you want him so bad with just a word?

"thought you were thinking that i'm vanilla, but here you are getting even more red with a 'baby'..."

fuck. he knew. he knew what you've said. you wanted to speak and tell him that he misunderstood or something, at least try to fix this someway. but you couldn't, not when you were that close. you opened your mouth but no words came out. and your brain focused on his breath brushing your lips, he was looking amazing.

"i can prove you wrong baby. bet you'll only think and talk about me." he said before brushing his lips to yours for a second. you closed your eyes. then he watched your face with lust filled gaze of his.

your hand found his neck and pulled him close to a kiss. it was intense, wasn't so slow but not fast either. you felt his hands coming down and holding your waist, then down and grabbing your ass while he sucked your bottom lip. after that he lifted you and made you sat on your table.

he started to give your ass hard squeezes while groaning into your mouth.

"mmmh " he said before spreading your legs and rolling his hips against yours.

he was so hard and you were sure your panties were wet after that kiss. and now he was sucking marks to your neck to collarbone. you loved the feeling of getting marked by him. the way he touched you were mind-numbing.

"mmph, please." you moaned, not able to opening your eyes from the feeling.

he smirked and held your waist tightly. then rolled his hips to yours, it was harder this time.

"name it baby. please what?" he asked leaving a peck to the sweet spot under your ear. it sent tingles to your body, you held his head and pulled him closer. now you were face to face, his eyes were half lidded and full with lust, looking deeply into your ones.

"please sir, prove me wrong." you said breathily.

he smiled for a second, then kissed your lips hungrily. then with a low moan he sent his tongue to meet yours. and yeah,he was so good at it. it was like his tongue is dancing on yours. you couldn't help but whimper.

you felt his hands getting under your dress, playing with the thin waistband while he leaves low grunts to your mouth. the vibration was making you feel some type of way. your whimpers were telling the same thing.

your hands found his belt and unbuckled it without breaking the intense kiss you've having with him. he slid your panties aside and started to rub his hand to your wetness.

"fuck." he breathed havily. "all of this is for me? fuck baby, you make me wanna ruin you."

you smiled and palmed his erection, getting low curses from him. you could feel him twitching.

"i'm ready sir." you said, looking at his hungry expression. your hands were resting on the waistband of his underwear. you slowly pulled it down.

he was long and pretty. and definitely ready to fuck. the gray suit he wore was looking so rich, and the fact that he still had it on was a turn on to you.

he didn't waste anymore time and pushed himself to you in one thrust. your moans and his grunts mixed. he was holding your waist and sucking your neck.

"ah sir, move. please."after checking your face he continued his movement slowly. you could feel every inch of him, he was so deep and filling you so well.

he started to move faster, making you jolt with every push of his hips. you needed to get support from your hands, holding the table tightly.

"such a pretty baby, spreading herself for me on her table, crying under me." he said pulling himself back almost fully. "still thinking i'm vanilla?" he said and pushed himself harder, finding the spot easily. and now he was fucking you rough.

"n-no sir, ohh yes." you replied and felt your high coming, by the way his dick twitches inside of you after every moan of yours you could tell he's close too.

he kept his pace, made you lose control of your moans while he leaves low grunts to your neck, whispers dirty stuff to your ear.

"come as i say pretty." he said and gave deep thrusts, getting faster and going slower and deeper again. your pussy started to clench like crazy. if you weren't being held by him you'd probably fall because how hard he fucks.

"come." he said and you both came, you were a moaning mess.

he pulled himself out and fixed your dress after fixing his suit, getting ready to leave.

"guess i proved it all wrong, huh?" he said, watching your not so out of bliss face. it was a strong high.

"i can't believe i thought that sir." you said looking at his lips involuntarily. you were still between your desk and him. he moved closer and kissed you slowly. then his hands found the marks he left on your skin.

"everybody will know who left these marks on you baby. you can cover it up... or you can keep it and i can take you a proper date tonight. cause this wasn't just sex for me. what'd you say?"

his words made your heart flutter. you couldn't help but smile.

"of course."

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[majesticbrownjawn]

Nervous

@soufcakmistress didn’t realize when she posted this that it would inspire me to write. Thanks boo. Here’s what happens when you so thick it makes Erik nervous...but not really cuz he doesn’t get nervous. 

--------------------------------------------

“I ain’t shy, you just so thick I’m a little nervous.”

“Really?”

He laughed at her shock at his statement. The look she gave him as she stared up at him in awe was cute as shit.

“Don’t worry, when I’m fucking you, all that nervous shit gon be out the window.”

“Excuse me?”

The trap music was loud, but not that loud.

“You heard me Thickums.” He leaned in close, his beard tickling the side of her neck when he spoke.

Y/N squeezed her legs together involuntarily, the weight of her thighs pressing against the sides of her clit, causing a soft moan to slip from her lips. He definitely heard it and now she was nervous.

Again.

As fate would have it, she’d seen Erik on Instagram before on multiple occasions. He gained notoriety after one the mother of one of his students posted him on IG with the caption, “My son’s teacher bout to have my ass bringing him an apple everyday!”

Another user found Erik’s profile, and BOOM, 40K followers overnight. It was no wonder though. Y/N had seen the photos of him in the school’s navy blue polo, muscles protruding from his sleeves.

But seeing him in person was almost too much. Your heart and other bits went thumpity-thump-thump when you spotted him at the house party two hours ago. You weren’t surprised to see the swarm of women around him or the fact that he was enjoying the attention.

“I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before...were you at the brunch on 14th a couple weeks ago?”

“No. I don’t go to brunch often.”

“Too many niggas like me hassling you, huh?”

You bit back a smile as he glazed over your frame again. Yea, niggas hassled you, but they certainly didn’t look like him.

“You’re not hassling me.”

“Aight good. But for real tho, like damn… you just so—“

A woman plopped down next to you with a cup full of alcohol. She was drunk and desperate for the attention of the man sitting to your right. She leaned into you hard, so you leaned into Erik. The pads of your fingers to gripped his thigh for leverage. You couldn’t have anticipated brushing up against the tip of his firm, warm dick. Time stopped and you momentarily forgot about the freshly spilled tequila on your white t-shirt dress. Erik’s mouth hung slightly ajar, clearly turned on by your accidental groping. You didn’t read it that way though.

“I’m so sorry!”

You flew up from the couch and ran to the first door you could find. As you raced through the party, you’d decided as soon as your dress was dry, you’d head for the front door and straight to your car. The music was so loud and you were so frazzled that you couldn’t hear Erik behind you trying to tell you to slow down. You nearly slammed the door in his face when you found a random bedroom just behind the DJ booth.

“You move fast girl.” You jumped in surprise at the sound of his velvety voice.

He was stuck when you finally turned around, revealing the mess the woman on the couch made on you. The cotton fabric of your dress was saturated with tequila, giving Erik a vivid display of your mesh bra underneath. He could just barely see the outline of your deep brown areolas. You watched his eyes dilate as he zeroed in on your pebbled nipples. You felt vulnerable and exposed and turned on as he stood before you, speechless.

“Erik?”

“Yea, baby?” He slowly lifted his head to meet your eyes.

“Baby?” You giggled.

“Yea. You baby now…And, I don’t know your name. You dipped out before I could ask.”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N, Y/N,” he repeated it like he was trying to etch it in his brain. “Why you run away?”

“I tend to do that when things get awkward. I’m sorry.”

“Shit ain’t get awkward until you took off.” He walked a few paces to lessen the space between you. “Don’t run away from me again. OK?”

His large hand gripped the side of your neck, his thumb caressing your jaw. He had to be the type of nigga that sprayed his colonge on his inner wrist. The sweet-spicy musk tempted you to turn your head and kiss the palm of his hand.  

“Umhm,” you nodded.

“Umhm, what?”

“I won’t run away from you again.”

“Good girl. Now, what were you going to say?”

He took a seat on the bed, keeping an eye on you like you’d still bolt at any second.

“Did I really make you nervous?”

He smiled so wide that the gold caps of his canines gleamed against the light in the room.

“Yea. I meant that shit. You perfect.” He reached out and pulled you in between his legs. “These thighs are what I noticed about you first.”

His hands slowly glazed over the back of your knees and upwards until he reached your thighs. He gripped them suddenly, making you gasp. His deep eyes grew dark with desire as he gazed up at you. The intensity in them made you want to look at anything but him.

“Hey…Y/N.”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.”

Your eyes darted to his lips. They were so full and kissable.

“C’mere.”

You were already standing in between his legs staring down at the growing knot in his jeans.

“Sit down.”

You took a half step back to sit next to him on the bed, but his hand grabbing your ass signaled that wasn’t he meant by sit down. You carefully lifted your dress a bit and straddled his lap. It felt like you melted into his bulky frame. He gripped you so tight, it felt familiar. Safe.

“Imma be real witchu, Y/N.” Erik’s head was nestled in between your breasts, listening to your sporadic heartbeat. “I know where I know you from.”

You could barely hear him. His warm hands exploring your body clouded your senses. All you could do was feel.

“I asked Teddy to invite you tonight.”

You were surprised, but you were so relaxed that you didn’t react in the way you normally would.

“I DM’ed you like two years ago, but you never responded.”

All you could do was chuckle. You would have remembered him DMing you and you absolutely would have responded.

“You don’t believe me? Look—“

He tried to pull away from you to grab his phone from his pocket but, nah. You tightened your thighs around him, cementing yourself further in his lap. The heat of your pussy stilled him from moving further.

“So you already knew my name?” Your fingertips massaged his scalp. All he could do was hum in the affirmative. He allowed your hands to explore him as much as they wanted. Shoulders, arms, lips…

“Kiss me.” There was a hint of desperation in his voice that made you weak. The faint moan that slipped from him when your tongue entered his mouth made you weaker. The involuntary grind of your hips against his dick drove you crazy. You couldn’t get enough of the feeling of him pressing into you.

He leaned back with you still gyrating on him. Erik wanted to see more of you. You didn’t realize he slipped your dress over your head until you felt the pads of his fingers swiping back and forth across your nipples. You were so needy to cum now.

He drank you in, intoxicated by the look of you get getting off on his clothed dick.

“Erik,” you whispered. “Imma cum.”

Just the thought of his face between your legs, lapping up your pussy juices had you nutting all on his lap.

“Oh shit, oh shit….Fuuuuuuhhhhk.”

You whimpered into his mouth as you finished and he kissed you hungrily, suckling your lips.

“You feeling good as hell right now, huh?”

“Yes, nigga. What you think?” You laughed, looking down at the sticky puddle in Erik’s lap.

“I made a mess on you. I’m sorry—“

“I like that shit, Y/N. It lets me know how bad you want me…it’s good to know, especially since you was ignoring my DMs and shit.”

“Whatever. I know I would have talked to you if you DMed me.”

“You was with dude then.”

He was referring to your ex, Mark.

“I could tell you were a good girl so I figured you might not respond but it was worth a shot.”

“Would a good girl do what I just did with you?”

“Yea. Maybe with her man.”

You kissed him and smiled.

“Good thing I did it with you then. Wouldn’t want to ruin your opinion of me.”

Erik reached over and grabbed the dress from the other side of the bed and put it back on you.

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Erik.”

“You ready to go home? I wanna be comfortable while I’m eating ya pussy. All this noise is too much.”

He held you close to him as you made your way back out into the crowd. You could faintly hear Teddy, Erik’s best friend yell, “Happy anniversary!” as you exited the party.  

-------------

@harleycativy @queenflaws @theogbadbitch @goddessofthundathighs @syndrlla97 @soufcakmistress @mbakusprincess @supersizemeplz @therealmrsrhodes @toniilaney @raysunshine78 @19jammmy@killmonger-fics @just-peachee @trinityaneise​ @wawakanda-btch @ladymac82@just-peachee @ladymac82​ @suburbanblackhoe

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Three

chapter two - Chapter Three: Ceasefire - chapter four

Series Masterlist

Plot: Bucky, Sam and Y/n visit Baltimore and unearth a long kept, heartbreaking secret. Bucky and Y/n’s tension comes to a head when they meet with Dr. Raynor.

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: spoilers for episode. 2, angst, language, racial undertones, racial profiling, PTSD, mention of torture, mention of suicide, fluffy angst, Walker is an asshole and Y/n is a bad bitch, the start of the slow burn 🔥

A/N: This shit was heavy to write because of the subject matter so hopefully the fluff towards the end makes up for all the angst I’m about to put you through lol. Honestly, it’s so hard to write this series not having the ending of the show yet 😂 Like I’m trying to build this and I know where I need it to go but it all depends on the show. This week’s episode was 👀 and I’m already drafting in my head. Anyways, enjoy!

----

Military craft bathrooms, I had found out, were not an ideal place to apply makeup.

I had woken up in the early morning hours stiff, achy and with a deep purple bruise on my cheek. I’d done my best to conceal it as to not attract attention wherever Bucky was taking us, but I wasn’t a magician.

Sam and I had yet to speak about me going home, but the tense exchange we’d shared before I passed out still hung over us. It wasn’t like we’d never fought, but the reasoning had never been over one of our lives being endangered. I didn’t want to leave him, but it was futile to argue the point.

The neighborhood that we were passing through didn’t look all that different from New Orleans. Bucky still had yet to tell us who we were here to see, only that it was important that Sam met him. I was done asking questions and trailed behind them on the sidewalk, my hands shoved in my jacket pockets and my head hung in defeat. I’d tried to do the superhero thing and failed miserably.

“Hey, it’s Black Falcon! What’s up?” “It’s just Falcon, kid,” Sam replied to the boy sat in front of a chain-linked fence with his friend.

“No, no, my daddy told me it’s Black Falcon,” the kid insisted. 

Sam stopped in front of them, “Is it because I’m black and I’m the Falcon?” “Well, technically, I mean, yes,” he shrugged. “So are you, like, Black Kid?” The kid’s friend burst into laughter and Sam did the same, “I got him, right?”

“Whatever, man…” the kid sat down, I was just about to pass him when he stopped me, “Are you a superhero too?” Sam stopped and looked back at me, his lips pressed in a thin frown. His eyes were sympathetic but I wasn’t in any mood to discuss my unsuccessful attempt to enter his world. I gave a sad smile to the kid, “No, I’m not.” I patted his shoulder and left, Sam chose to walk with me instead of ahead of me.

Bucky was already on the house’s front porch when we climbed the stairs, he banged on the door marked with a ‘No Trespassing’ sign. We waited a few seconds before it opened to reveal a boy, 16 or 17 maybe.

“We’re here to see Isaiah,” Bucky said. “Nobody named Isaiah live here,” the teen replied.

“Look, we just want to talk to him,” Bucky gently pushed.

“You must not hear what I just said, you ain’t getting in this house. Ya’ll can leave now.” Bucky dropped his head and shut his eyes, looking as if what he was about to say pained him. “Tell him the guy from the bar in Goyang is here,” his voice dropped, “He’s gonna know what that means.”

The boy’s eyes bounced between the three of us before backing away from the door, “All right, wait here.” “Nice kid,” Sam commented once he was gone, “How do you know this guy?” “I used to, we had a skirmish during the Korean War,” Bucky explained. The screened door opened once again to reveal the teen, “Today’s your lucky day. He said he wanna see for himself.”

Bucky led the way inside followed by Sam and I. Where the living room met the dining room was where a tall, grey haired black man stood. “Isaiah,” Bucky greeted him as we stepped inside. “Look at you,” Isaiah said, taking cautious steps toward Bucky. “This is, uh, Sam. Sam, this is Isaiah,” Bucky raised his hand toward the man, “He was a hero. One of the ones that HYDRA feared the most, like Steve. We met in ’51.”

“If by met, you mean I whupped your ass, then, yeah,” Isaiah interrupted to correct Bucky’s inaccurate storytelling. “We heard whispers he was on the peninsula, but everyone they sent after him, never came back. So the U.S. military dropped me behind the line to go deal with him,” he spat the last part of the sentence. “I took half that metal arm in that fight in Goyang, but I see he’s managed to grow it back. I just wanted to see if he got the arm back or if he’d come to kill me.” I watched over Sam’s shoulder as Bucky shook his head. “I’m not a killer anymore,” his voice hitched slightly.

“You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be? It doesn’t work like that,” Isaiah’s voice hardened, “Well, maybe it does for folks like you.” There was a pause as Bucky collected himself before we got to the heart of the matter, “Isaiah, the reason we’re here is because there’s more of you and me out there.” 

“You and me…” Isaiah seethed, his eyes boring into Bucky.

“And we need to know how…” “I’m not gonna talk about it anymore,” Isaiah growled before picking up a metal tin and flinging it across the room. Sam threw an arm out to shield me but the tin lodged itself in the wooden paneling of the walls. With that power at his age, Isaiah was undoubtably a Super Soldier. 

He took deliberate steps toward us till he stood only a foot away from Bucky. “You know what they did to me for being a hero? They put my ass in jail,” Isaiah’s voice broke, the traumatic memories were hitting him as he spoke, “For thirty years. People running tests, taking my blood, coming into my cell. Even your people weren’t done with me.” “Isaiah…” Sam said carefully.

“Get out of my house!” Sam and I startled at the sudden noise, but I didn’t fault Isaiah for his reaction. My heart broke for him in fact. Tears had welled in my eyes as he told us fragments of his life, my hand slipped to my mouth to prevent my sobs from escaping. Bucky turned away first, leading me out as Isaiah’s presumed grandson did the same to Sam. He pushed ahead of us both, every emotion possible playing out on his face.

“Sam…” Bucky began as we descended the front steps of the house.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Isaiah? How could nobody bring him up?” Sam angrily pointed a finger towards Bucky, who remained quiet as the three of us walked down the middle of the road. “I asked you a question, Bucky.” “I know…” “Steve didn’t know about him?” Sam asked.

“He didn’t, I didn’t tell him,” Bucky answered, his eyes never leaving the ground.

“How could you not tell him?” I exclaimed, my tears still tracing abstract patterns down my cheeks, “If there were anybody to tell, it would have been him!” “So you’re telling me,” Sam stopped walking and pointed back to Isaiah’s house, “That there was a black Super Soldier decades ago and nobody knew about it?” 

Before Bucky got the chance to answer, the siren on a nearby police car sounded off. Two officers pulled up and exited the vehicle, “Hey.” “What’s up, man?” Sam said.

“Is there a problem here?” one asked, focusing on Sam.

“No, we’re just talking,” he answered, gesturing between the three of us. “We’re fine,” Bucky answered, visibly put out by the interruption.

“Really, we’re fine,” I shakily spoke up, wiping my palms under my wet eyes.

The officers didn’t accept our answers, instead coming closer towards Sam. “Can I see your ID?”

“I don’t have ID, why?”

“Okay, sir,” the officer held up his hands, “Just calm down.” “I am calm,” Sam responded, I could see the anger bubbling below his surface, “What do you want? We’re just standing here talking.” Bucky gestured towards the policemen, “Just give him your ID so we can leave.” The tears I was fighting so hard to control couldn’t be stopped as I watched the scene play out. “No,” Sam protested, “I’m not giving him shit, we’re just talking.” “Officers, there’s nothing going on,” I insisted, sniffling as I tried to speak. “Ma’am,” one of the men approached me, holding his hands out carefully as if to shield me from Sam, “If this man is making you uncomfortable in any way-“ “He’s my brother,” I sidestepped away from the cop, “You’re the only ones making us feel uncomfortable.” “He’s not bothering either of us, do you know who this is?” Bucky gestured towards Sam, I came to stand between both of them and placed a protective hand on Sam’s shoulder. If anything was going down, I was going down with him.

The cop that had briefly stepped away to his car came back and whispered something into his co-worker’s ear. His jaw dropped as he looked Sam over again, this time with a much less aggressive stare. “I am so sorry, Mr Wilson,” the bastard had the audacity to chuckle, “I didn’t recognize you without the goggles. I’m really, really sorry about this.” A second police car came down the street and stopped in front of us. The officers told us to wait as they hurried to try and clean up their mistake. It didn’t matter, the damage had already been done. Neighbors and people passing by were stood outside houses and on the sidewalk watching the scene unfold. And there stood Sam, the leading role of a story these men had written and forced him into. I’d never felt more helpless in that moment when I realized that had he not been recognized, there wouldn’t have been anything I could’ve done to save him.

“I didn’t…I didn’t tell anybody because he had already been through enough,” Bucky said quietly, reeling us back to our original point of conversation.

“Mr. Barnes,” the officer who had tried to cage me from Sam approached Bucky, “There’s a warrant out for your arrest.” “Look, the president pardoned him for all that,” Sam said. “Not for that. You missed your court-mandated therapy. It’s like missing a check-in with your PO. I’m sorry, Mr. Barnes, you’re under arrest.” Resigned was the only word I could think of to describe Bucky’s expression. He willingly followed and allowed them to handcuff him, quickly shaking his head at us as if to apologize for the ridiculousness as he got into the car. The worst part was I knew that if Sam or I were stupid enough to speak up, the consequences would be far worse than our reluctant cooperation. The car drove off, carrying Bucky and all his demons he hadn’t told his therapist about this week.

Sam and I remained frozen in the street, playing the last five minutes back in our heads. In a little house in a corner of Baltimore sat a war torn, wrongfully imprisoned, black Super Soldier who hadn’t had the suddenly privileged lifestyle Steve Rogers had. Isaiah had been beaten down, experimented on and abused for almost half of his life. The samples that had been taken from his body against his will had been used to create the Super Soldiers we’d met, ones that were out for blood. “Let’s get out of here,” Sam muttered, putting a hand on my back and pulling me into his side protectively. I snuck one last glance at Isaiah’s home, praying that whatever time he had left on earth was spent in the peace he deserved.

——

We hitched a cab ride to the downtown police station and were informed at the front desk that Bucky was being released. His therapist was flying in from New York to come and meet with him.

Sam and I sat in the uncomfortable chairs of the waiting area, him on his phone and me zoning out on the wall. The ‘what ifs’ of our confrontation with the police were still swirling around in my head, each one more brutal than the last.

“I’m not leaving,” I blurted out, “After this, I’m not leaving you guys.” Sam sighed and switched off his phone, “I’m not gonna argue this again with you. I’m keeping you safe, I don’t care whether you like it or not.” “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m feeling,” I turned to him, my eyes watery and my fidgeting fists clenched in my lap. “I’m not going home just so I can sit from a safe distance and worry whether or not you’re gonna die at the hands of some cop who feels brave. Or a bunch of Super Soldiers with a grudge against the world,” I forced the lump building in my throat down, “I’m not going to leave and wait for your body to come back in a casket. The only way I’m going home is if you’re with me.” His lips parted like he was about to say something before deciding against it. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but I could see that my speech had affected him. He pulled me into him, my head laying on his shoulder and his arm around my neck. I had worried for my brother’s life when he was first in the service, even more when he first became an Avenger. But that fear couldn’t compare to the kind I felt when the cops disregard each of his truths. I sniffled as I rested against him, trying hard not to imagine a world where Sam Wilson wasn’t by my side.

“Sam,” a women approached us, “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dr. Raynor, James’ therapist.” We rose and Sam shook her hand, “So nice to meet you.” “Y/n Y/l/n,” I introduced myself as she extended the same greeting, “Thank you for getting Bucky out.”

“That was not me,” she smiled politely.

“Christina!” a nearby voice shouted, “It’s great to see you again.” 

When bulls see the color red, it angers them to the point that they’ll charge toward it in a fit of rage. My reaction to seeing John Walker in the red white and blue suit was one of a similar caliber.

“You gotta be kidding me,” I grumbled, covering my face with my palm. 

“You know him?” Sam asked in disbelief. “Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day,” Dr. Raynor answered.

Walker strutted towards us, “I heard you were working with Bucky so I thought I’d step in. Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.” 

“We haven’t finished our work,” she asserted, “Who authorized this?” Walker held up two hands and aimed them at his arrogant self. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up. Just do whatever you got to do with him, then send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I,” he pointed to me and Sam, “You guys too. I’ll be outside.”

He marched back out through the door he’d come through and if we hadn’t been in a police station, I might have reeled him back in with my energy to inform him of just how low of a chance there was that we’d ever take an order from him. But if we had to go through him to spring Bucky, I’d bite my tongue for his sake.

“James,” Dr. Raynor turned, addressing Bucky who was now leaned up against the nearby counter, “Condition of your release, session now,” she looked over her shoulder towards us, “You too, Sam, Y/n.” Sam was quick to decline for us both, “That’s okay, we’ll be out here-“ “That wasn’t a request.”

Judging by the unenthusiastic glare we were getting from Bucky, he wasn’t any more excited than we were. “The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can leave,” I said to Sam, taking the initiative and following Dr. Raynor, once again with the men in my tow.

“What exactly is your relationship with James, Miss Y/l/n?” Dr. Raynor asked as she slowed her pace to match mine. “I don’t have a relationship with him,” I answered plainly, “I only met him yesterday. We got our asses kicked in Munich together.”

We were led into an interrogation room, just as cold and bleak as the ones I’d seen on tv. There were two chairs on each side of the table awaiting us. “Since I’m here primarily to speak with James and Sam, Y/n,” Dr. Raynor removed her coat and placed it on the back of her seat, “You can observe alongside me. You two on that end.” A simple thing as even sitting next to one another seemed like too big an ask for Sam and Bucky. The two of them looked like kids sent to the principal’s office as they begrudgingly sat down. I for one was looking forward to watching them sort out whatever beef they had that I had gotten tangled up in.

“So,” Dr. Raynor set her notebook down on the table, “Who would like to start?” “All right, look, Dr. Raynor?” Sam began, “I get it, why you want me to talk to Freaky Magoo over here. But I’m 100% fine.” Sam’s fatal mistake was darting his eyes over to me before looking back at her. I already knew he was lying, but his tell confirmed it.

“It is my job to make sure that you’re okay,” Dr. Raynor addressed Bucky, “And so, yeah, this may be slightly unprofessional but it’s the only way that I can see if you’re getting over whatever’s eating at you.” 

“This is ridiculous,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I agree,” Bucky shook his head.

“This is the first time they’ve agreed on anything for the past twenty four hours,” I spoke up, leaning back in my seat to watch the show unfold.

“See? We’re making progress already,” Dr. Raynor said, “So, who wants to go first?”

Silence.

“No volunteers? Wow, how surprising…” she remarked, “Okay, we’re going to do an exercise. It’s something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they wanna build together. Are you familiar with the miracle question?”

“Absolutely not,” Bucky answered. 

“Of course not,” Sam’s voice overlapped with Bucky’s.

“Okay, it goes like this. Suppose that while you’re sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?’

Bucky suddenly became chatty, “In my miracle, um, he would…he would talk less.”

“Exactly what I was gonna say,” Sam replied, “Isn’t that ironic?”

“You guys are leaving me with no choice,” Dr. Raynor shrugged, “It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise.” “I like this better,” Bucky perkily pointed a finger towards his shrink.

Sam chuckled quietly to himself, “He’s gonna love this.” “Yeah, I’m ready.” “This is right up your alley…” Dr. Raynor motioned for them to rotate, ”Turn around, face each other.” “You should really enjoy this,” Sam said acidly. 

“I’m going to,” Bucky said with a sarcastic smile, the only one I’d seen him wear. “Let’s do it,” he said happily as Sam moved to face him, “Let’s stare. This is a good exercise, thanks Doc.” “Alright, get close,” Dr. Raynor instructed, they scooted slightly towards one another, “Come on, get closer.” With their knees touching, any further would put them much closer than either of them would ever want. “Which way do you want to go?” Bucky asked, “Right or left?” “Why are your legs open?” Sam asked impatiently, “You know what? Fine, here, you happy now?” He used Bucky’s chair to pull him forward so they legs were locked together.

“That’s a little close,” Bucky said loudly, adjusting in his seat. Sam nodded in agreement, “It’s very close, that’s what you wanted, right?” 

I couldn’t hold in my laughter anymore, causing both of them to shoot daggers at me. “Is this fun for you?” Sam snapped, gesturing towards their touching thighs. “Very,” I grinned unapologetically.

“Guys,” Dr. Raynor held up a hand to silence us all, “Now, look at each other. You need to look at each other in the eyes,” they obeyed and lifted their eyes to meet, “There, you see? That wasn’t so hard.” The stares they wore intensified, “Wait, what are you doing?” Dr. Raynor asked, “Are you having a staring contest?” Sam adjusting his eyebrows was her answer, she leaned over the table and snapped her fingers. “Just blink! All right, James, why does Sam aggravate you?” Bucky turned to his therapist with as close to a real smile as I’d seen on him when she cut him off, “And don’t say something childish.” His head lolled to the side in defeat, his pink tongue came out to wet his lips as he thought over his answer. “Why did you give up that shield?” “Why are you making such a big deal over something that has nothing to do with you?” Sam shot back.

“Steve believed in you, he trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason,” Bucky’s emotions were starting to seep out, “That shield, that is- that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield and you threw it away like it was nothing.” “Shut up…” Sam muttered.

“So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.”

The way that Bucky’s voice had quivered at the end was telling of just how deep the wound ran. But Sam’s forgoing of the shield was backed by reasons that Bucky could never wrap his mind around.

“You finished?” Sam spoke up, when Bucky said yes, he continued, “All right, good. Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?”

This was the issue that made the heavy silence we were sitting in all the more complicated. Both men were valid in their feelings, but there would be no resolve for either of them. Steve was gone, Walker carried the shield and Bucky and Sam were trying their best to navigate a new world.

Sam scoffed, burying the emotions that I knew he was trying to hide from. “You know what, Doc? I don’t have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on. So how about this? I will squash it right now. We go deal with that, and when we’re done, we both can go on separate long vacations and never see each other again.” My eyes widened at how quickly the conversation had escalated. “I like that,” Bucky agreed.

“Great. Well, let’s get to work,” Sam turned to Dr. Raynor, “Thanks, Doc, for making it weird. I feel much better,” he turned to Bucky, “I’ll see you outside.” With a slap to his shoulder, he rose from his seat and was out the door in seconds. There was so much left unresolved that didn’t sit well with me. As Bucky went to stand up, I did too. “Actually, Doctor,” I walked around to table to take Sam’s empty seat, “I’d like to say a few things.” Bucky annoyedly fell back down into his chair and shook his head in irritation. I didn’t particularly care that he didn’t want to speak with me, all he had to do was listen. “I know you and Steve were best friends and I know how much he means to you. But I can’t sit here and watch you berate my brother relentlessly over the fact that he didn’t take up that mantle. It’s easy for someone like Steve to be Captain America without any pushback, but Sam?” I pointed to the closed door, “It’s a whole ‘other ballgame. And while Steve would never have fully understood it, he would have made an effort to. And he wouldn’t be pressuring Sam like you are. You need to drop this and you need to drop it now.” “Let’s get one thing straight,” his razor sharp jaw ticked in anger, “You don’t get to talk about Steve like you knew him or like you understand anything about our friendship. You never met him, you don’t get to speak for him.” He could have never known what button he had just pressed, but my reaction wouldn’t have changed even if he had. I sat up straighter in my chair, my steely eyes boring into him. “I didn’t know Steve? Well, then I guess it was a different Steve Rogers that Sam introduced me to when I came to visit him in D.C. And it must have been a different Steve Rogers that I visited at the Avengers compound when I helped Sam move in,” I leaned forward, the dam in my eyes threatening to break, “It must have been a different Steve Rogers that I ran to when people all around me started turning to dust.”

————

It was pouring rain outside the Avengers compound, the piles of dust that had rested on the ground having long since been washed away. Y/n stormed across the front lawn of the compound to the entrance, she had driven straight through for 20 hours from Delacroix to upstate New York. Getting past security hadn’t been hard once she had said who she needed to speak to and who it regarded.

Her boots squeaked across the floor as she marched through the compound, she’d only been once but she still remembered her way around. She navigated through hallways until she’d found the main room, she only recognized one of the figures that stood hunched over a table in deep discussion. At the sound of her entrance, each one of them turned around. “Y/n…” Steve said in shock, a relieved sigh spilling from his lips, “You’re okay.” “He’s here, right?” she trembled, “He’s in his room or the kitchen? Steve, tell me he’s here.” When Steve didn’t answer and ducked his head, Y/n pushed harder. “Tell me he’s here, Steve.” He looked back up, finally meeting her eyes. “I can’t do that.”

Y/n let the last bit of strength she had slip through her fingers as her soaked form dropped to the floor. Steve was quick to hold her, offering what little comfort he could, knowing that he wasn’t the person she wanted to see most in the world. She sobbed in his arms, the first step in the long process of mourning her brother.

Steve made a true effort to keep in contact with Y/n over the next five years. He flew down to New Orleans to visit every couple months or he offered to fly Y/n up to New York. About two years post Blip were when financial struggles really started to hit Sarah and Y/n’s business and Y/n had to decline each kind offer to meet him on his turf. When she explained why, Steve showed up on her doorstep two days later, ready to stay for the week and help out however he could. It wasn’t hard to see why Sam had bonded so deeply with Steve, he had just as big a heart as her brother.

The day that Sarah and Y/n received the joyous call from Sam that he was back from the dead was the best day of their lives. Y/n called Steve immediately after to tell him the news and thank him for whatever part she had guessed he’d played in reuniting their family. Her calls kept going to voicemail. After Sam’s reunion with his sisters and nephews, he took Y/n aside and handed her an envelope. Inside it was a letter from Steve explaining that he wouldn’t be returning after the restoration of the population. He wished her a good life with her family and that he had valued her friendship and kindness towards him. As brokenhearted as Y/n had been over the loss of her friend, when Sam told her the true reason behind Steve’s sudden disappearance, she was overjoyed that Steve had gotten somebody he loved back too.

Steve Rogers was there for Y/n in some of her darkest hours. They had bonded deeply, their friendship a single ray of light in their then darkened world. To see his shield paraded around by someone who didn’t embody the same qualities and values that he did hurt more than she let on. The world may have accepted John Walker, but he’d never be Captain America in Y/n’s eyes.

————

I had somehow made it through my retelling of my time with Steve without completely breaking down. A river of silent tears streamed down my cheeks but my voice held firm. 

Bucky’s harsh stare had diminished significantly the longer I spoke. His plush lips were parted in surprise, words I didn’t care to hear hanging off of them.

“I don’t ever want to hear that I didn’t know Steve Rogers,” my voice threatened to break finally, “You’re not the only one who wants to protect his legacy.” Dr. Raynor had remained so silent while I talked, I’d forgotten she was there until she offered me a tissue. I hastily wiped my cheeks, ducking away from Bucky’s gaze. “Thank you, Doctor,” I said softly as I stood up, “This has been really helpful.” I wrapped my arms tight around my torso and exited the room as quick as I could, making a beeline for the lobby to find Sam. When he spotted me, he stood to attention. “What’s wrong? What happened?” “Nothing,” I shook my head, “I just want to get out of here.” He placed a protective hand on my shoulder as he watched me sniffle the last of my tears away. Bucky joined us seconds later, I couldn’t look directly at him after bearing so much of myself to him. The three of us left the police station in a now familiar silence, each deep in thought about what we’d revealed. 

“Well, I feel better,” Sam said as we stepped out into the cool evening air. “I feel awful,” Bucky grumbled.

A siren whooping caught our attention, I wished it hadn’t. There stood Lemar Hoskins and John Walker, waving at us and calling us over. The three of us reluctantly made our way towards them. “Look, if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

Sam rolled his eyes and humored him, “So what do you got?”

“Well, the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau,” Walker explained, “We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place.” “They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal,” Hoskins interjected, “But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe.” 

“We think she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps,” Walker finished.

“Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since The Blip,” Bucky spoke up across from me, “So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.” Walker smiled, “Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” “Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” Bucky asked. “No, we don’t know, Bucky,” his voiced raised, highlighting his frustrations, “It’s only a matter of time before we find out.” If I knew anything about Bucky by now, it was that he had no issue with provoking people. “Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?” I clapped my hands together once, “Okay, if this keeps going, someone’s probably gonna end up back in there behind bars so let’s just settle down.” “Look, Walker’s right,” Sam stepped forward, “It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.”

We didn’t make it further than a three steps when Walker spoke up again. “Miss Y/l/n,” I stopped walking at his call, “You’re an enhanced individual, right?” “I’m what they call a mutant,” I spun on my heels to face him, “But to simplify it, sure, I’m enhanced.” Walker raised a condescending eyebrow, “Are you familiar with the Sokovian Accords?”

My spine stiffened, he was trying to blackmail me without actually saying the words. I was far too familiar with the accords and the ramifications they’d had on the Avengers. They’d sent Steve and Sam on the run for two years. “I think I’ve heard of them, yeah,” I smiled humorlessly. “It clearly states that any enhanced individuals who haven’t signed are not authorized to participate in any national or international conflicts or any missions run by private organizations such as the Avengers,” he gestured towards Sam, “You’re running with an Avenger, aren’t you?” A mirthless chuckle fell from my mouth as I watched him try and intimidate me. “Look, Craptain America,” I took slow and calculated steps towards him, “You can order your partner around or the soldiers that look up to you, but don’t think for one second that you can threaten me and try to pull the same shit the government did with Wanda Maximoff. I’m not going to be told who I can and cannot help.” Walker looked down at me menacingly, resembling a little boy who hadn’t gotten his way. “A word of advice then,” he said, eyes flicking between Sam, Bucky and I, “Stay the hell out of my way.” The juxtaposition between him and Steve had never been more apparent. Here he was daring to threaten me with incarceration followed by an ominous warning when it hadn’t worked. Bucky, Sam and I waited until him and Hoskins had left before heading our own way. “‘Craptain America?’” Sam echoed, slinging an arm around my neck, “I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of you.” “It was a low blow,” I admitted with a contradictory smirk.

“Someone needed to say it,” Bucky chimed in, hesitantly looking over to me before quickly averting his gaze back to the sidewalk.

“Do I need to be worried that he threatened me with the accords? Are Sarah and I going to have S.H.I.E.L.D showing up on our door or something?” I asked.

“I think he’s just trying to intimidate you, but…” Sam inhaled wearily, “But I’d rather keep you here with us, just to be safe. If anybody were to come, we could protect you.” My smile grew as I looked up at Sam, the parameters of how to keep me safe had changed in my favor. I was almost grateful Walker had threatened me. “I can stay?” “Stop looking so happy about it,” Sam dropped his arm from around me, “This isn’t going to be easy,” he looked to our left to Bucky, “So what are you thinking?”

“Well, I know what we have to do,” he answered, if he had reservations about me sticking around, he was kind enough not to mention them. “When Isaiah said “my people…””

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant.”

“No, he meant HYDRA, HYDRA used to be my people.”

Sam thought the answer over for a second, decoding it. “Not a chance,” he scoffed.

“Walker doesn’t have any leads,” Bucky shrugged.

“I know where you’re going with this, no.” “He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia?” “Wait, you’re not talking about…” I sought out Bucky’s eyes that were still dodging mine. I didn’t need a history lesson on who he was referring to. “No. Not him. He’s crazy.” “We don’t exactly have a lot of other options,” Bucky said as if that was justification for what he wanted to do. “So you’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?” Sam asked. Bucky hesitated, searching for a more sophisticated answer. “Y-yes.” I may have been allowed to stay, but I knew that I wasn’t experienced enough yet to argue on their level. They knew when and how to make the difficult calls, they could operate in a grey area with little to no issues. All I could do was sit back, be taken along for the ride and tolerate any passengers who got in along the way.

“Okay, then,” Sam finally concurred, “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

————

I couldn’t sleep.

We were back on the jet speeding back to Germany, this time with an even more sinister problem at hand. I had wanted to come along, I just hadn’t guessed that the reason I’d be allowed to stay would be because of a threat to my safety. All because of my powers. This was the reason why my father had been hellbent on keeping them a secret. I felt in a way that I’d failed him, that somewhere in the afterlife he was disappointed in me for telling the truth, even if I’d done it for the right reasons. Sam was conked out next to me, I envied his military training to get quick sleep wherever he could. I personally felt like I’d injected caffeine into my veins back in Maryland and hadn’t been able to come down since.

“Can’t sleep?” Bucky asked from where he laid on the floor, I thought he’d been unconscious the whole time.

“Can’t imagine why,” I dryly chuckled, “We’re only flying cross country to sit down and meet with one of the world’s most dangerous criminals. Why the floor?” “Oh,” he’d sat up and was looking back down at his lousy makeshift bed, his jacket balled up as a pillow and an itchy blanket, “It’s, uh, hard to explain.”

After a few seconds of near uncomfortable silence, he pushed himself up and made his way to where I sat. I tucked my legs under me to make room for his burly body. He was big enough that with all the space I’d tried to give him, my knees still brushed against his thick thigh. He sighed loudly, giving voice to the divide that if we’d have gone our separate ways, as planned, wouldn’t have mattered. Now that we were going to be working together, we couldn’t ignore what had been said in that interrogation room.

“Listen, about what…happened,” his face contorted in a mild cringe as he played the scene back in his head, “I’m sorry, for what I said.” “You didn’t know,” I offered, picking at a loose thread on my jacket, “I don’t talk about Steve a whole lot except with Sam.” “Still, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that,” Bucky continued, folding his hands in his lap. “I’ve been rude since we met and that’s not okay. Especially when all you’ve done is try and help.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” I leaned my head against the back of my seat, “No permanent damage done.” His thumbs danced together, his brows were knitted in concentration as he prepared to speak. “Can I, uh, ask you about your powers?”

I twisted so that I could properly face him, “Ask away.” “How did they happen?” “I was born with them, actually. I’ve got this thing called the X-gene, it’s supposed to manifest at puberty but for me it activated when I was really young,” I ran a hand through my hair, “Imagine being five years old and having blue come out of your fingers when you were reaching for a juice box.” A miracle occurred and Bucky’s lips actually quirked up in a half smile. It encouraged me to keep talking. “My mom wanted to take me to this school for kids like me but my dad forbade it. He kept saying that it was too dangerous and that somebody could find me. It was like he didn’t realize that it was a refuge for people with powers, not a hunting ground,” I paused, flashing back to arguments between my parents of which one of them actually knew what was best for me. “So instead, I just taught myself how to control them. There were a couple incidents but other than that, I’ve kept them under lock and key for a long time.”

Bucky had remained still and fascinated as I spoke, switching between watching my eyes and my lips. Suddenly it felt like nothing had ever gone on between us. We were just fellow soldiers or co-workers having a conversation outside of work.

“What do they think now? Your parents?” he asked, the ease of the moment slipping away with a simple question. He couldn’t have known the minefield he was stepping into.

“My mom doesn’t know yet that I told Sam,” I sighed deeply, inhaling strength and exhaling bad memories, “And my dad killed himself when I was a kid.” “Oh,” Bucky’s eyebrows lifted, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried into-“

“No, no, it’s fine…” I waved him off, “Whether I want it to be or not, it’s a part of me. He was in the service and when he returned, he was diagnosed with severe PTSD. I was so young when he came home that I don’t really have any memories of him before it happened. He had all the classic symptoms; flashbacks, nightmares, paranoia, fits of anger, at some point he even stopped believing that he was a good father and husband,” I tear slipped down my cheek, “That was around the time it happened. We tried for so long to help him but the trauma consumed him. Every day he was just doing his best to survive himself.” I glanced up at Bucky to find that his eyes were just as watery as mine. It hadn’t dawned on me that I was telling him everything that he already knew about what happened when someone returned from war. He was living it out right now. 

“I’m not trying to strike any nerves but…in that session tonight, I saw how much you were holding in. With Sam, with me…” I started, praying I wasn’t going to end up pushing him further away, “I’ve seen what bottling things up and isolating yourself can do to a person and it’s a hell I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I know you don’t trust me yet but…if you ever do need somebody to talk to…I can’t understand your experiences, but I can recognize some of it.” Bucky truly looked lost, like he’d never been in the position of receiving such an offer. His face, usually so hardened, had softened so much he was almost unrecognizable. And yet there was still some barrier, some pain weaved between the hope and vulnerability that kept him from receiving my kindness with open arms. In the session, the pain I had seen in his eyes reminded me so desperately of that in my father’s eyes. If I didn’t try to help him, that look would haunt me for a long time.

“Thank you,” he finally said, his voice raspy enough to make me shiver. We sat there in the dark, both our walls we’d built around ourselves starting to crumble as we chipped away at one another. There was some feeling I couldn’t put a name to that had settled over us. The eyes that I’d avoided all day were now all I could focus on, digging into the deep blue pools and feeling like I could lay down my sword there. If we were going to get through this mission, we needed to be friends at least and I felt confidant we were on the path.

Bucky eventually cleared his throat, shaking me from my thoughts that he was at the center of. “We’re gonna be to Berlin soon, you should get some sleep.”

Internally, I smiled at the familiarity, it was almost word for word what he’d told me the other night. Only now the hostility had been dropped.

“You need it too,” I replied as he rose and made his way across the plane, “Goodnight, Barnes.” I curled up in a ball near Sam’s feet, praying he didn’t kick me in his sleep. I had just shut my eyes to try when a voice spoke up, “Bucky.”

“Hmm?” I opened one eye to see him lay back down on the floor, attempting to get comfortable.

“Call me Bucky.”

I pursed my lips slightly to decrease the size of my smile, I wasn’t the only one laying down their weapons. “Alright. Goodnight, Bucky.”

----

A/N: There’s something so powerful about name dropping Wanda Maximoff and Y/n having been besties with Steve Rogers lol. Hope you all enjoy, let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged! 

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale​ @wanniiieeee​ @asoftie4bucky​ @edencherries​ @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ @ttalisa​ @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess​ @rinaispunk​ @weirdowithnobeardo​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @godlypotterwhodiaries​ @eternalharry​ @voguesir​ @mizz-kraziii​ @okayline​ @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories​ @nicklet94 @intricate-melody​ @aesthethickks​ @stumbleonmywords​ @simplybarnes​ @21bruhs​ @lostinwonderland314​ @superbookishhufflepuff​

[etherealeeknow]

vocal lesson

• rated m for mature, slight angst

• pairing: vocal coach!seungmin x fem!reader

• wc: 2.3k (confession: writing long fics isn’t my forte)

• tw: underlying toxic relationship, masturbation (m), grinding, groping, unprotected vaginal sex, explicit language, creampie- i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:

• note: i have a love hate relationship with this fic. i have a few goals i’d like to achieve from this fic and whether or not i’ll succeed is based on your feedbacks 🥺 so please don’t hesitate to drop them! also, enjoy!

• tag list: @es-kay-zee @formidxble @bobateastay @vogueinnie @sailorhyunjinz // leave a comment, dm, or an ask to be tagged! thank you ♡

—

seungmin despises the way his heart dropped when he sees your name flashing on his phone screen instead of you flashing upon his eyes. by this time, he’s fully aware that a chatty girl like you isn’t the type to text. in fact, you only do it on one occasion, which is when you’d like to cancel the class. just like what he has expected, the text says you won’t be able to make it that day and that you’re sorry; but he knows you’re not sorry. he knows you’re doing this on purpose—to torture him—and it’s working perfectly.

honestly, the suffocating pain in his chest isn’t because he has been losing sleep, tossing and turning in his king size bed for hours over the thought of you being all dolled up in the baby blue dress he has gifted you; neither is it because he missed his favorite orchestra playback this morning just so he could find the most perfect white shirt out of his collection of other white shirts just so he can appear pleasant for you, but because you’ve been cancelling the lesson for three times in a row. if your mother ever finds out about this, she would definitely fire him. to prevent that from happening, seungmin has been silencing your maids with credits, but he knows too well they’d soon go for more if you keep this up. 

fiddling with the handkerchief that you had purposely left for him a few weeks back, seungmin gloomily shoves it into his pocket before dragging himself to the grand piano to warm his throat up. the first few notes started off slow and stable according to the piano keys, but with constant fear running on his mind, his fingers slipped and pressed the wrong one. the awry sound makes him cringe and shuts his eyes in annoyance. he hates it, mistakes, he hates it to the fullest, yet he has managed to keep up with it all this time just because he adores you more than anything, even when your cracked voice sometimes haunts him at night. see, seungmin’s giving his all to you,

but why are you doing this to me? where are you? i miss you.

“heh, pathetic,” he mutters to himself as he slowly lies down onto the piano bench, facing the chandelier which lights would usually illuminate you when sitting on the same bench while waiting for him to get to the music room, running your delicate fingers along the black and white wood. your side profile’s exactly like a goddess—breathtaking.

sighing over the imagery of you, he begins unbuckling his belt; eyes closing momentarily when he slips a hand into his unbuttoned pants and starts palming his clothed member. three weeks. it’s been three weeks since he last got off, since he last felt your touch, and he’s been trying his best to hold back because he believes you’ll eventually come around. he believes you won’t leave him just like that, yet you aren’t here again today, and he’s dying to release his pent-out frustration.

a heavy sigh escapes his lips when he takes out his dick, the tip leaking from precum and it makes him let out another sigh when he begins pumping it; another one follows, then another one, and it carries on as seungmin’s hand goes faster by each second. even in the peak of his pleasure, all he can think of is you. oh, how heavenly it would’ve been to have both your soft hand and pretty lips around him instead. his free hand is quick to slip into his pocket, snatching your handkerchief. despite only briefly smothering himself with it, your lingering scent alone is enough to make his head spin. with the sateen now wrapping around his throbbing cock, it feels as if you’re there, skin to skin with him.

“fuck!” he hisses, but eyes widening right away over his own volume as he quickly raises his head to check on the slightly opened door.

he’s so close and pausing in the middle just to lock the damned door would ruin everything. should he just bet on his luck today? it’s not like any of his well trained maids would rudely barge into his music room, right? but who knows?

screw it.

his back automatically arches when he feels the increasing tension in his pelvis, and it pushes him to fasten his hand move—pumping his dick rapidly to release. with eyes rolling to the back of his head, seungmin begins chanting your name desperately and that’s your last straw. the moment seungmin ejaculates is the moment you slam the door open and run towards him. the poor guy who’s barely riding out his high jumps on the bench as he sits up.

“y/n—”

“shut up,” you cut him off and crash both of your lips and body together, causing him to fall back down onto the bench, and creating a somewhat deafening screech on the floor, but it’s nothing compared to his loud moan in between the kiss.

the feeling of you straddling his lap instantly makes him hard again; the feeling of his warm hands running wild all over you and the stickiness on your inner thigh coming from your ruined handkerchief has you wetting your already damped panties—the effect of rubbing yourself when peeping on his little show. as the kiss deepens, so does your hunger for each other. of course, there’s no way you’ve gotten over what he did, and he’s surely still upset for being ghosted too, but for now, lust is winning. one squeeze on your thigh is all it needs for you to throw your baby blue dress across the room.

“you’re always so hot when you do that,” says the now naked seungmin who gets back onto the same position, looking at you with his half lidded eyes as his arms stretch out to fondle your breasts, his favorite part.

“the only time you’d compliment me is when we have sex,” you scoff before going back down on him, slowly yet easily pushing his cock inside of you, and both of you grunt in unison.

“y/n, ah— shit! i told you it’s because i know you can do better.”

snorting, you call him a liar before grinding mindlessly, movement starting off slow just like how your breathy moans starting off low. as much as seungmin enjoys being taken care of, patience doesn’t exist in his dictionary today. his hands leave your chest for your hips, guiding you to slip in and out of him at a faster pace. but that’s still not enough—he needs more. in a blink of an eye, you go from being on top of him to under him. seungmin bangs you down loudly on the grand piano, your buttcheeks and hands hitting the keys and filling the entire room with jumbled notes while you yourself are filled by him to the fullest, right at your g-spot.

“seung— fuck!” 

“louder,” he commands while thrusting into you, hips moving in a rhythm, and strong hands bringing your legs up to rest on his shoulders before holding onto your ass, supporting you from slipping down—multitasking is indeed his second best talent besides singing.

“what’s the p— point?” you breathe out, trying your best to sound coherent while maintaining eye contact, “so you’ll compliment karina instead again? pat her on the head and caress her cheek again?”

“you know i only did that to motivate you.”

“bullshit.”

if seungmin has to name anything you can do best, it’ll definitely be your ability to drive him crazy—disobeying him. again, he believes he has been going all in, keeping up with your lack of talent and bullshit for the past half a year; the way you’d fight, then fuck him, and fight again only to fuck him again, and the cycle continues. whenever he tries to talk things out, be it about your vocal lesson or your tangled relationship, you wouldn’t give a damn. today, that has to change.

“and i’m the one to blame? karina always listens to me,” he replies, slowing his thrust as he can feel your walls clenching around him even more and more.

“faste—“

“i said louder, y/n. tear your mouth wide open,” he grunts, thrusting into you so strongly that you jump and land back on the piano, creating such messy harmonies.

“seungmin, faster!” you yelp, voice raspy yet a little louder this time with your hands finding their way on his shoulders, and it makes him sneer as he leans in to kiss you, biting your lower lip before he lets go, and stop dead on track.

“hoarse voice, dry lips. don’t i always tell you to stay hydrated?”

you find it unfair. seungmin’s energy doesn’t make sense. the fact that he still has the power to put up with fucking while carrying you even after his solo session is unfair. and the way he has the audacity to give you a vocal lesson in the middle of everything, then stopping just because you aren’t complying is way too cruel, but perhaps, this is what you deserve.

“i’ll never cancel our lessons again. i’ll— i’m sorry. i will really listen to you,” you beg desperately, almost sobbing as you grind on him, refusing to let the tingling sensation on your core die down.

seungmin shakes his head. he knows you too well. normally, seeing you surrender like this softens him and makes him think that perhaps, he’s being way too demanding, or maybe, he should be even more understanding.

“that’s not what i asked for, love.” is what he says before resuming, putting all the remaining pressure he has left to snap his dick deeper into you.

that’s when his name falls out of your lips ever so gracefully, followed by endless ah’s, jaw hanging open. this is the loudest and clearest you’ve ever been—no holding back, no hitching breaths, no cracking—pure perfection. 

seungmin doesn’t even need to ask for more because you’re already repeating it on your own.

“fuck yes. just like that. such a good girl,” he grunts right beside your ear, picking up his pace.

it only takes a few moments till you feel the familiar knot in your abdomen coming back along with him twitching inside of you, and this time, you make sure to hold onto him so tight, afraid he’d pull the same stunt again.

“shit— please let me cum. please cum with me, come inside me, please, please, please,” you blabber, voice turns husky once more, but seungmin couldn’t care less, there’s always another chance for another vocal lesson. right now, all he wants is to,

“cum.”

the two of you reach together. name chanting, legs shaking, fingers digging, and body fluids mixing into each other—drenching not only your lower bodies, but also the extravagant bösendorfer piano seungmin shipped all the way from austria. but that’s another thing to worry about. right now, he can barely keep his eyes open while you can barely feel your stiff spread legs across his shoulders. once he’s made sure you’re over your high, seungmin gently pulls out and lets you down. he sits himself first on the bench before pulling you by the waist to seat you on his lap, and the two of you let silence take over for a little while.

“i know you’ve been bribing my maids,” you start off, “they have a big pay, but it’s impossible for their designer bags to double up in just a week, you know,” you continue while pushing his damp hair aside, revealing the remaining half of his sweaty forehead.

“they were gonna snitch on you to your mom,” he replies, pausing in the middle to mirror your action, pushing strands of hair to the back of your ear before averting his gaze back on your eyes.

even with your smudged eye makeup and cracked lipstick, you’re still as shining, dilating his pupil.

“and?”

“and she’s gonna fire me.”

“isn’t that what i should worry about? you’re a world winning award soprano. there are hundreds of talented people waiting in line to be your students. money isn’t the problem. plus, i know you hate my voice. i also never listen to you, never call you sir, and am ninety nine percent horny throughout our lessons. in short, i’m a bratty and disrespectful pain in the ass.”

your punchline makes him snort and he can’t help but to pull you into a hug, closing the already small space in between so he can indulge in your body heat and feel your chest beating calmly alongside his.

but what happened to changing things? don’t you wanna be in charge? you can’t just let her have everything she wants. 

despite hearing the faint voices in his head, mocking him for having the weakest heart for you, seungmin doesn’t care. for all he knows, he was a train wreck earlier this day; he surely didn’t expect he would go from reminiscing the memory of you under the chandelier to it actually coming true. 

“this is real, you’re here.”

“it is. i am.”

“and you’re gonna—“ pausing, he breaks the hug to cup your cheeks, “you have to stay.”

“what for? for you? for the vocal lessons? for… what?” you question, unconsciously tilting your head as you place a hand over his, slightly squeezing it, hoping he wouldn’t let go.

silence.

“i might be a bitch, but i’m not dumb. it isn’t about money and it isn’t about sex either. so what is it, seungmin?” you ask, eyes searching for an answer before adding, “i bring no good to you.”

you’re right. his best friends have said the same thing. they can’t seem to wrap their heads around how a collected person like him can break so easily over a random, spoiled, daddy’s little princess. it doesn’t make sense, he knows—i know. he’s been trying to figure it out, only to meet the same dead end.

“i’m a mistake.”

yes—yes you are, and seungmin hates it, mistakes, he hates it to the fullest, yet he has managed to keep up with it all this time just because,

“you’re the only mistake in my life that i can take, y/n.”

—

gen’s masterlist

[writing-in-april]

The Case of the Missing Coffee

Spencer Reid x Female Reader 

Summary: Spencer gets on Reader’s nerves just a little too much one day and decides to get back at him.

A/N: This is my piece for the NSFW fic swap- I got @wave0fg00dvibes​ I had this idea on my long list of random ideas for Spencer and when I decided to go in the “hate fuck” direction I landed on this idea. Reminder that requests are open!

Warnings: Petty Reader, Spencer is a bit of a dick, Hate fucking, Dom!spencer, Public sex (sorta),Biting, Choking, Muffling (hand over mouth), a dash of humiliation kink

Masterlist  Word count: 1.8k

Spencer Reid was getting on my very last nerve. That wasn’t a new thing though. For some reason Spencer and I had never gotten along. It seemed as soon as we met we were destined to annoy and bicker until we retired.

Our latest argument centered around a preliminary profile that we were supposed to send off to the Boston PD and as always we both disagreed on what the profile consisted of. This time Spencer had gotten deep under my skin for some reason. His constant bickering had me seething, plus his not so subtle dig at my abilities as a profiler didn’t do anything to help my mood. The whole situation was giving me a headache.

I need coffee

I opened the cabinet where the grounds and sugar were stored in the break room so I could start a cup for myself. I stopped my movements when I caught sight of a large bag of grounds and another bag full of sugar marked in big sharpie letters with Spencer’s name.

Spencer had started to bring his own bags of coffee grounds and sugar after Emily complained about him going through the bullpen’s supplies too fast.

A smirk was dancing evilly on my face at the thought of riling Spencer up by stealing the items for a short while. Every time he decided to push my buttons too far while we were working I usually found some way to get back at him for it. Even though I knew it was petty I still decided to hide his personal coffee grounds and sugar in the bottom drawer of my desk. Maybe he’d think twice next time he disrespected his coworkers.

I’ll give it back to him eventually after he apologized and after having him beg a little.

——-

Later in the day I was sitting in the small file room going through some old case files. Though, mostly I was waiting for Spencer to come down here and confront me about his stolen coffee as I had already finished my most important tasks for the day. He was a genius after all and it was an easy deduction to figure out who had stolen it, only I would dare touch his precious coffee and sugar. Not even Morgan would dare mess with it.

“Where is it.”

Ah, he’s right on time

His dark tone matched the darkness that surrounded the file room that was only illuminated by one light. However, the smirk on my face did not shake, his tone did little to intimidate me. I decided to further annoy him not wanting to give away what I had done with his precious coffee just yet.

“It’s just coffee and sugar Spencer, I’m sure Emily will let you dip into the rest of the BAU’s supplies for today. Though, maybe you should cut down, considering how aggressive you get when you miss your hourly cup.” I was still standing hunched over the files, not even sparing a glance at the genius as I gave him a snippy remark.

“That’s not the point Y/N. I’m more mad about the fact that I know you took it.” Each little quip I decided to give him was making his tone darken almost to the tone he used when interrogating suspects.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have implied that I was an incapable agent.” I turned to face him with a feisty glare and crossed my arms before continuing, “Maybe, then I wouldn’t have taken it.”

“Maybe, you could’ve come to me like an adult and told me you were offended. Maybe- then I would’ve apologized.” My gaze was harsh in response to his remark choosing not to respond to his words. Honestly, the nerve of him sometimes. Though, what really caught me off guard was what happened next.

Instead of further verbally berating me for stealing his brew he surged forward and captured my lips in a harsh kiss. I almost pulled away angrily to slap him but, I found my anger morphing into something new. I kissed him back with fervor not giving him the full satisfaction of completely dominating the kiss. Though all sense of control I held was lost when he roughly slammed me into the filing cabinets making a surprised squeak fall from my lips, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth.

I yanked aggressively on his hair as a warning in response to when he dipped his head down attempting to suck hickies and bite marks into my neck. He grunted in agitation, pulling his head up to glare at me in retaliation to the harsh tug on his curls.

The glare on his face held as he yanked my skirt up harshly and pulled my panties down roughly until they fell down my ankles.

He wound his hand around my neck, not very tight at all only having it rest there as a simple warning to obey and take whatever he gave me. I almost found myself fighting his dominance once more before all thoughts of disobedience were wiped from my mind as soon as he moved one finger experimentally to my core. I was already obscenely wet just from a few minutes of a heated make out. Arousal further coated Spencer’s fingers as he started to circle my hole teasingly, my legs started to shake a little from the teasing almost unable to take it.

I bit into my lip hard to stifle any noise my body wanted to make when he finally curled his fingers inside me and obliged me. A small moan escaped despite my best attempts when he brought his thumb up to my clit working in tandem with his other fingers. I had to bite my lip even harder to quiet myself when the hand on my neck tightened, silently warning me to shut up. The only reason I obliged his order was because I’d rather not have gotten caught by my other coworkers being fingered by the person I claimed to hate.

I could feel myself teetering on the edge of release before it was cruelly swiped away from me when he removed his fingers from my core. I whined in objection though the noise was covered by a harsh command by Spencer.

“Jump.” His tone left no room for argument to his order, making any protests I had die in my throat. Normally, I’d argue with any order that Spencer thought he could give me but, the slick arousal that pooled between my legs fought with the resentment that I held for him. So, for once I obeyed willingly, jumping to wrap my legs around his wiry frame. I was half expecting him to drop me, I had never considered Spencer to be very strong at all. But, he proved my thoughts wrong by holding tightly onto me with bruising force, pulling out his cock from his slacks with speed and precision before swiftly entering me with no warning.

A whimper at the sudden stretch started to come from me though, it was quickly stifled by his large palm coming down over my mouth stifling any noise that tried to make its way from me. Once he was sure I was going to be able to handle my noise level he removed his hand from my mouth placing it back onto my ass. He then started to rock into me, though his thrusts weren’t fast at first as I had assumed. His thrusts were deep but devastatingly slow.

“I hate you.” I tried to growl out with conviction to goad Spencer to start to pick up his pace. He took the bait, starting to thrust rapidly pushing me closer towards release. However, the growl I had adopted dissolved into a mere pathetic whimper making my whole body burn in embarrassment at his ability to work me up so quickly. My hands pulled at his button up to try and ground myself to stave off my release- I was going to try my hardest to not cum first.

“Sure you do Sugar.” He said breathlessly while letting go of one of my thighs to make his way back to my clit. The little circles he started to rub along with his now brutal pace made angry all over again, I was trying so hard to not release first. And, it didn’t help that he tacked on the stupid nickname at the end, no doubt trying to stoke the fire in my belly that was a infuriating mix of arousal and anger.

Though I tried with all the strength I could muster to hold off a devastating orgasm as soon as Spencer pitched his hips to hit my sweet spot my release crashed over me. I screwed my eyes shut and bit into my fist hard in an attempt to stifle any moans that tried to escape me as my release came through my body in crashing waves. My cheeks were burning hot in humiliation from my disastrous defeat.

“W-where?” Spencer almost incoherently stuttered out to me as a warning that he was getting close to his own release.

“Inside. Safe.”  I was honestly surprised I even formed a literate thought to convey to him as I came down from my devastating high. He pumped into me a few more times before falling into his own release, biting into the sliver of skin he could find beneath my disheveled blouse to quiet his own noises.

Once we had both come down completely and caught our breaths awkward silence and tension simmered in the file room. We both made no moves to break the tension as we tried to make ourselves look somewhat presentable. After I pulled my panties up and my skirt back down to its original position I decided to give Spencer back the thing he had been looking for. Leaning forward I took his tie in my hand and pulled him back towards me so we were chest to chest once more.

“Go look in the bottom drawer of my desk.” I whispered into his ear before sauntering out of the room to find a bathroom to clean up some more though, not before sparing a glance back to see a smirk etched on Spencer’s face. Even though I still hated him (Maybe hate is a strong word) I figured why not give him his coffee and sugar back as a reward for giving me one of the best orgasms of my life. Though, I was definitely still mad at myself for orgasming first. Maybe if there was a next time the roles would be reversed.

[rulerofstars]

i love your writings! but maybe we could have some angst??? like um.. levi had an argument with his s/o before an expedition over something and they made up after they came back to the walls?

Sunsets and Mishaps

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Genre: Angst, light fluff.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, gore, deaths.

Word count: 2,600 words.

Angel: Thank you so much for requesting and for the kind words, anon! I enjoyed writing this one. <3

 The taste of the warm, strong tea eased the coldness caused by the chilly morning of an expedition. You have the habit of waking up early and being productive whenever there is one, just to calm yourself down and have a good start before heading outside the walls and encountering titans. Being out there could have two outcomes only, the first, you’d come back alive, and the second, you don’t. Every second spent before every venture is special to you, for no one will ever know what could happen next.

An assuring warmth from the rays that slipped through the window pain sent solace through the dubious mind that bothered your entire system. If the sunrise is this beautiful, then should you be looking forward for the day?

“You’re early, (Y/N)!” Moblit greeted, sitting next to you, and Hanji who has a bunch of different food in their hand sat across you. The latter, your best friend and squad leader had notable dark circles under their eyes, accompanied by the messy hair. Staying up late for experiments, again, you thought.

A piece of bread has been shoved in your hand as Sasha, one of your favorite cadets passed by your table and greeted you with a wink, you smiled at her.

“You are, too.” Hanji scoffed at your reply and glared at Moblit.

“He woke me up!”

“Of course, you told me to wake you up!”

“Not this early!”

“It’s your normal wake-up time! You’re just sleep-deprived, squad leader!”

Because of the noisy quarrel in front, you wanted to walk away and just sleep for a little bit more. These two never seem to hear each other even when they are millimeters close, they always shout!

The atmosphere of the mess hall transitioned from light to heavy when the intimidating aura of the elite squad entered the room. Their mere presence is enough to justify the reasons why they belong in the so called Special Operations Squad, and the number of titans they have obliterated is mind-blowing and you can’t help but to wonder, are they really human beings?

A familiar back profile made your heart flutter, his undercut makes you weak, and the way he held the tea cup as if he’s afraid to break it into pieces.

So he’s up early, too.

“Aren’t you going to kiss your lover?” Hanji asked, making you blush furiously. That question was so sudden!

Moblit immediately interfered, “Lovers don’t kiss all the time, Hanji-san!” He said, earning an approval from you.

Little by little, your whole squad appeared and occupied the empty spaces available. Your eyes occasionally dart onto Levi, who’s quietly listening to the conversation of his own squad and speaks every now and then. You wanted to go to him and spend the rest of your morning with him before you set off outside the walls, but you don’t want to interfere with his time for his squad. You are well-aware of your boundaries. How you should keep your feelings out of missions and focus on the objective. You and him had talked about this kind of matter ever since you’ve started dating.

And how you should keep your relationship as lowkey as possible.

Gentle yet meaningful habits pacified the yearning that burned for the both of you, the littlest things that you make, the slightest details that he considers, is what kept you sane. After all, it was you whom he would come home to.

But, you would not deny how much it irks you. . . to see him too close to another woman, yet not being able to do something to ease the slight pang of jealousy and pain.

“You okay?” Nifa asked, noticing the glint of uneasiness in your eyes, but you quickly shook the feelings away.

To make it believable, you forced a smile on your lips and answered your friend, “Of course!”

You hated how his certain squad mate looked at him the way you do, too. You are too aware of the woman’s feelings towards your lover, and you can’t help but to feel upset. How her small actions that meant something else find their way towards Levi, and how he does nothing about it, how he lets it happen, as if he’s giving her a chance.

Trust is one of the core foundations of your relationship, but you weren’t doubting your boyfriend, you are just. . . jealous. The two of you talked about how you should be open and tell each other everything you feel without any kind of hesitation. It was what made you strong as a couple- the thick line of communication never grew weary.

-----

Preparations weren’t that tedious an hour before the expedition because everything is already put together, thanks to Erwin. Everyone’s already in their uniforms, ODM gears have been checked, so no one is really having a hectic time, or so you thought.

The four corners of Levi’s office sealed every kind of noise from the outside, encaging you both with silence that is sometimes interrupted by the sound of papers shuffling. The captain sat on his chair, facing his desk, while he scanned a pile of paperworks to sign to. Thanks to Erwin.

You sat on the chair in front of his desk, sighing and arranging the scattered papers neatly.

“Levi. . .” You started, trying to gain his attention but to no avail, he did not even raise his head to look at you, but he did acknowledge you.

“Hm?”

Thoughts pervaded your mind, doubts about yourself and the matter that you would bring up to your lover. For once, you became hesitant of the things that you would tell him, but the way your jealousy permeated through the deepest part of your heart offered you no chance to analyze if this was the perfect timing, or not.

“Petra Ral. . .” His eyes focused on you since the mention of his certain squad mate, making you grow slightly more jealous of the girl, “Her actions. . . her actions towards you make me uncomfortable,” You looked at him and tried to read if any kind of emotion slipped through his steel grey eyes, but you found nothing but nonchalance.

“I’m jealous, Levi. I just want to tell you that.” You admitted, looking down and pressing your nails on your fingers. Agitation rushed through every vein of yours, you were nervous and you didn’t know why. Maybe for how her would react or what he would say.

He stopped what he’s doing and sat up straight, staring directly into your anxious eyes, “What do you want me to do?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, tell her to stop? Tell her about us? About me?” You suggested, and your heart almost stopped when you caught the slightest glint of irritation in his eyes.

“I thought we’d keep it low-profile?” He asked, looking at the papers one more time before arranging it neatly and staring at you again, “We talked about this, (Y/N).” His austere voice sent shivers to every part of your body.

“This isn’t about us,” You muttered, looking down and avoiding his cold stares, “It’s about me, my feelings, Levi.”

A scoff flee from his mouth, making you feel like what you just said was so dumb that he could not stand it.

“You’re being unreasonable,” He spat your name like it was poison out of his lips, and you stared at him in shock. For a moment, words would not come out of your mouth. For a moment, you were frozen and you couldn’t believe what you just heard. For a moment, you were hurt.

You bit your lower lip, eyes furrowed as you stared back at him with the same intensity. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were supposed to tell each other things.” Sarcasm coated your voice like sugar on spice.

His fingers flew on his face, massaging his forehead, as if it was too bothersome and stressful to talk with you, “Stop being childish, (Y/N).”

“Then stop being insensitive!” You spat back, raising your voice. Your heart never beat this hard because of a different reason. The way pain and disappointment embraced you right now felt so wrong.

A sigh left his lips, as he pointed towards the door of his office. And you felt yourself drop, never have you ever had an argument so bad that he would resort to kicking you out, or parting ways without talking about it.

“I can’t deal with you right now. . . just leave.”

Tears pooled in your eyes like a puddle being filled by the chilly raindrops of a hail. He made you feel so petty. Your feelings were never invalidated, and you never thought that it would be him to make you feel like this.

-----

You gripped the end of the reins tightly as you waited for the commander’s signal to advance. Hanji questioned your puffy eyes the moment they saw you earlier, and you lied by saying that you accidentally fell asleep while waiting.

What irked you the most is the noise caused by the Elite squad and how they tease their woman to the captain. You wanted to combust so bad because you had no choice but to endure hearing them. Childish? Fine.

As Erwin shouted, you wasted no time waiting and you immediately followed Moblit, with Nifa behind you and your other squad members at the back. You rode your horse like there was no tomorrow, occasionally being told to slow down to not ruin the formation.

Once the big-ass trees greeted your sight, you shifted to your ODM gear and slaughtered every titan that came across your vision. How you are extremely offensive right now surprised your squad mates, because you were never like this before. It was as if you were angry, and hell you are.

You let your body get taken away by the emotions that overwhelmed your system, that you didn’t notice how far you got and how long you were fighting. But you did not seem to care, you were going to fight until Erwin decides to retreat. The good thing is, you knew how to conserve gas, Levi taught you himself.

Like a thunderbolt, a titan rushed towards you, jumping through the branches of trees, and catching you off guard, making a sharp piece of the wood graze the side of your cheek slightly. You hissed at the sting yet resumed slaying the titan.

Time passed by and you lost count of how many titans you have killed, the second to the last blade in your hand is now starting to get weary, and you badly wanted to kill the one in front of you. You advanced in full speed and positioned your blade in a way that it’d execute the titan in one slash, but an arm stopped you before you could cut.

“Stop it.”

Your body shook, not because you were tired, nor exhaustion is starting to creep up your body. But it was because you heard your lover’s voice. And you did not know why, or for what reason could your body react like this.

“It’s time to head back.” He whispered on your ear. His voice was nothing compared to his cold ones earlier, because this one. . . it’s warmer than the sunset.

You bit your lip, letting your emotions take over you once again and yanking your arm away from him just to get back to the formation all by yourself. Your squad mates nodded at you the moment they recognized your form, and you were greeted by the sight of several bodies of people who suffered the fate of being taken too early.

The entire way back to the walls was coaxed with the heat provided with the orange sunset. Gone was the coldness that bothered everyone in the morning, it was engulfed by the warmth that reminded you of how every expedition ends like. The only warmth that reminded you of losing someone important.

-----

On an open field is where you sat, where they had experiments with the boy- the titan shifter. Of course, you knew, you were there. In front of you was the sunset that would soon say goodbye and leave its remnants of purple and deep pink. And the scent of your favorite soap sent comfort in knowing that you are already home, freshly showered, with a piece of snack in your hand.

You felt your lover’s presence slowly approaching you, his heat was greater than anything else. But visions of what happened earlier repeated in your mind, causing you to walk away from him, away from the feelings.

“(Y/N).”

One word from him, and you halted. And you hated it.

Not a minute had passed and you found Levi in front of you, his brown jacket now discarded, and what protected him from the cold solstice was a thin long-sleeves that you used to steal from him. His hand caressed the wound on your cheek, lightly letting his fingers kiss the fresh cut, but your eyes continued to avoid his.

Because of the schedule and trainings, you were deprived of the chance to spend time together. And you would not deny that you miss it. How you would sneak into his office late at night and come back to you and your roommates’ room before dawn. How you would steal food from the mess hall and share it with him. Or the late-night walks that you have done with him, pretending that no one would see. And you were sure that someone did.

You were never a secret, but you were extremely private.

“Look at me.” He said, his hands still cupping both of your cheeks. You pouted, not wanting to look at him because you knew how frail you get when it comes to him.

Your eyes met his, and it felt like you haven’t for a while.

“Look at me,” He repeated, and you stare directly into his, letting him read the emotions you have felt earlier. You looked at him as if you were complaining to him about himself and his actions earlier. “I’m sorry.”

Your lips trembled. Cheeks flushed and puffed, lips pouting, while warm tears filled your eyes once again. And Levi kissed your tears away even before they could paint your pretty face.

“Don’t cry,” He whispers, gone was the harsh tone that he used on you earlier, gone was the Levi that made you feel invalidated and puerile, “Fuck! Don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby.”

Sultry kisses on your forehead, and how his voice burned in apologies saved you from the cold breeze that wanted to touch your skin. He held you so close to him that you could feel how fast his heart beats for you, muttering how sorry he is, how he told not just Petra but his whole squad about you, how much of an asshole he was.

“D-don’t do that again. . .” You sobbed, face still buried in the warmth of his chest while your hands gripped his shirt.

“I promise.” He responds immediately, wiping the sadness and pain you have felt for hours and replacing it with the fire that dwells within him; the fire that you both made.

You were beneath the moon, and tonight, it was more beautiful. It was your witness, along with the stars that smoldered like a fiery heat. And within the coolness of  the dusk had you both realized, that the once searing sunset has kissed you both goodbye.

[soft-angelic-kiss]

We’re all a little bit crazy (4)

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therapsit! Izuku x Patient! Bakugou x Patient! Todoroki x Patient! Shinsou x Patient! Reader

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Chapter 4 trigger warnings- swearing, Mentions of suicide, mentions of fighting, mentions of abuse and mentions of blood and acts of violence 

 if that makes you uncomfy don’t read!

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chapter one here    

chapter two here  

chapter three here 

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Izuku stood staring at the shut the door with a wide eyed look. He had his assumption that shinsou was a rather chill person who wasn't afraid of anything. Making him more nervous over the last thing spoken from the lavender heads mouth

“Are you alright Midoryia?” Uraraka’s voice rang out, calling him out of his trance as he turned around and faced her once more “Uh, yeah. I’m alright..” Ochako let out a weary smile as she placed her hand on his arm and led him down to the next room, her heels clacking against the ground making it that more scary.

They got to a room that was obviously dented, the door had been hit a couple hundred times and the handle had dents on it from being gripped really damn hard..it seemed as if you hit the doorknob witha feather it would fall off

Ochako let out a deep breath and hummed “I advise you to be careful of this room, I have no doubt you’ll get hurt.. This is Katsuki Bakugou’s room..” Izuku shuddered, did OChakos voice lower just to tell him that? How dangerous really was this guy? He gave a soft nod and flipped to his file page..

F I L E 3

(Patient Name) Katsuki Bakugou (Patient #435)

(Date admitted) 7-3-18

(Patient age) 24

(Patient disorder) extreme anger issues, PTSD, Trauma, attachment issues and possessive behavior

(History/cause) He grew up relatively normal, his mother was verbally and physically abusive as a child and picked up on his mothers outrageous temper, He has a very boasting behavior and a very out there presence not wanting to be seen as weak, or incapable. He is very loud, and very angry because of his past

(Has patient...)

-attempted suicide?

-attempted homicide?

-attempted any act of self-harm?

-attempted violence on past employees?

-attempted escape?

(Other).He always references others with mean nicknames such as “twinkle toes” “dunce face” “shitty hair” “half and half” and “eyebags” The others don’t seem to mind, so we haven’t tried to stop it, beware if his temper starts to rise which can happen very quickly, run away and lock the doors, he will throw one explosive fit

(Danger level) 9/10

Izuku gave one more deep breath before scanning his hand and getting himself in just like the other times, the passing inside the second was thicker than the rest, though it was heavily torn in some places not repaired at all.

Izuku opened the door with a long sigh peeking into the room, proceeding to enter and stand close to the door keeping it open, just in case he needed to make a break, he was terribly nervous to have to talk to Bakugou, he had heard about the stories of his short temper and hard hitting fists.

“Hello?” As he came to his senses and looked around the room. It was pristine. not a single thing out of place. The bed was made not a single stain on the white sheets. Not a single speck of dust on the walls, windows or fan

. In the corner there was the spikey haired blonde reading something, he looked up as Izuku was looking around and he stood up slightly angry

“what are you doing in here?”

Izuku jumed softly “Oh, Hello I-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before the book came flying at his head causing him to duck “hEY” he let out a yelp dropping the papers in his hands as Bakugo angrily spat out his threats “What the fuck are you doing in here.” His voice was loud and it made Izuku's knees wobble and not in the good way

“I’m I-Izuku a-and I’m gonna be your t-therapist-” he put his hands up as Bakugou started seething “Who the hell do you think you are to be coming into my room-” Bakugou cut himself off when he looked down and caught eyes with Y/N’s profile “Y/N” he paused before looking Izuku up and down, “You’re nothing. You’ll never be safe from us. From me, just wait. If you hurt Y/N I swear to god You fucking” His fist was raised and ready to swing, but a smaller voice rang out distracting Izuku making his head turn “Katsuki? ‘M here to see-” before it was cut off as well when a fist came flying to Izuku’s head

The person who spoke out previously let out a little yelp as Izuku tried to see who had entered, was it Uraraka? No, the voice was too feminine for that.. But he saw them hug Bakugou and give him a hit on the head that the blonde just responded to with a “tch” and watched as they turned their head to Izuku himself, who now had a bloody nose about to pass out on the floor

Izuku focused on the swaying of their h/c hair, his eyes slowly blinking not really registering what was going on anymore, he heard hushed whispers that he couldn’t decipher before he felt himself picked up and taken out of Bakugou's room.

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Tag List~ @buckyneedsplums  @lazywrtierfullofideas09 @notchittatenn 

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A/N: FNSAJKFJAK WOW WOW WOW you guys are absolutely incredible and I cannot believe how much support this series has so far.. Thank you for dealing with my slow ass writing much love to you all <3 

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