#I wanna scroll up and see who the fuck reblogged it

[what-the-fuck-khr]

whoever put that fuckass artwork of a scary motherfucker face thing whatever without warning I’m going to kill you. I’m going to rip you to fucking pieces

[ghostarii]

GLASS TABLE GIRL ! ～ BLADE . ❛ i just wanna be one of your girls tonight.

˖ ⁺ ⫾  SHOW NOTES fem!reader ❱ guitarist!blade �� groping ❱ reader is a groupie ❱ PWP!!! ❱ (reader is intoxicated so technically) dubcon ❱ spanking ❱ degradation ❱ clit n nipple slapping ❱ ig ooc!blade but who cares ❱ choking/asphyxiation ❱ size kink ❱ dacryphilia ❱ outdoor/public sex ❱ exhibitionism ❱ spit ❱ face-fucking ❱ dirty talk ❱ reader has 0 self respect ❱ name calling ❱ overstimulation ❱ creampie & unprotected sex (stay safe) ❱ clit pinching ❱ hair pulling ❱ multiple orgasms ❱ cumplay(?) ❱ no aftercare ❱ minors & dc antis do not interact.

˖ ⁺ ⫾  CREDITS i have not written a fic in so effing long nd i was high writing this so excuse my rustiness :c but i have risen from my grave so let’s rejoice nonetheless ! !blade is on my mind 24/7 n i just want to be used n abused by him omfg turn me OWT! i listened to one of the girls by the weeknd literally the entire time i wrote this sooo feel free to listen while reading ^_^ i was js writing as i went so ts is very pwp sorryyy . . i’m gonna try to be more active on here i js need time to write so in the meantime pls show that my works would be appreciated here =( likes & reblogs are so GREATLY APPRECIATED ! ! ! if u don’t like, pls scroll cs comm guidelines r so mean to creators T_T

˖ ⁺ ⫾  RUN TIME 7.5k+ words . (of pure filth)

IF SOMEBODY ASKED you who your favorite artist was, you would say Ren—known by his moniker: BLADE. There was nothing you didn't like about this man; everything about him fundamentally and ultimately was the object of a girlish obsession. You knew all of his songs front to back, followed his social media on every single platform, and never missed a single piece of media uploaded about him. Your life was built around his style: dark and mysterious and enigmatic. He was your number one, unmatched and unchanged.

He was a hard man to come by. He frequently held small shows, with no more than twenty-thousand people on the high end. It was impossible to go, and every time you tried, your chance miserably passed you up. But this time, June twenty-third, twenty-twenty-three, you were right there, in the middle of the pit, only mere feet away from Blade. It was your first time seeing him in person by the grace of your best friend who surprisingly snagged tickets, and you’d never been more grateful in your life.

Blade was ethereal. The concert videos you’d seen over the years did not compare to the image in front of your face. It was dark, the main lights being spotlights shone on his pearly, perspiring, black, skin-tight silk-clothed skin, and dim red LED lights on the set behind him. His fingers ran effortlessly across his guitar, an inexplicably attractive riff and tone singing from the instrument. You felt like you were in Heaven, your eyes never leaving the show before your eyes. It was hot and uncomfortable in the pit but it was worth it. So worth it because he looked at you: taking you in with an unfaltering stare. His lip slipped between his teeth, and he shook his head, throwing stray locks to the back, and God, you felt as though you needed to be bolted to the ground with the way you wanted to jump on the stage. He walks up to the microphone, the most gut-wrenchingly hot vocals sliding off of his tongue. His eyes were closed, smudged eyeliner emphasizing his fluttering, long lashes, and his lips were spit-slicked, parting and pursing with each sultry lyric leaving. They were plump and rosy as if they were asking to be kissed—it was a sight to behold.

You sang your heart out, dragging your hand from waving in the air down a curvy path on your body, going from your shoulder to your chest to below where Blade’s sight would reach. You turned to your friend and recited the lyrics with a big smile and following giggle, all to turn your attention back to the stage and lock eyes with him. Your thighs clamped together just at the narrowed and burning gaze he delivered. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted a man more than you do right now.

Your friend found a way closer to the stage and you wedged your way between the crowd, finding yourself so close that the speakers were banging on your eardrums. You could feel the music in your bones, and all you could think of to describe it was hot and heavy. Maybe it was all of the pregaming you and your friend did before the concert, or the condensed heat and gyrating bodies, but you were so hot. You wipe your sweaty skin as you sway to the beginning of the next song, taking out your phone to begin recording.

Blade leans into the mic, muttering lowly, “I want you all to sing.” He pulls the microphone out of the stand, letting his guitar hang off of his shoulder from the strap. And that’s when he makes his way to where you stand, muttering small “yeah”’s and “good job”’s into the mic as the crowd collectively sings. He kneels right before you, “Sing.” he says into the mic.

You go wide-eyed—cute, he thinks—but you start singing. You grab an open portion of the microphone, leaning in as close as possible and reciting the lyrics of the song just as you were told. All eyes and cameras were on you, and that included Blade, who held an intense gaze on you the entire verse. When you finish the crowd erupts in cheers and screams, and he pulls away, finishing the song. You turned to your friend and screamed about your main character moment, dancing and singing even happier into her recording phone. This was the best night of your life.

For the rest of the concert, you had the time of your life. Blade ends the show with a final guitar solo, the entire audience silent as he wrecks the strings and pours his heart into his vocals. He briefly spoke to his fans, thanking everyone for coming out and heading backstage as everyone began to clear out. And all he could think about was that girl who his eyes couldn't help but wander toward, and to whom his thoughts dedicated his innuendos. He remembers the sign you held at the beginning of the show: “BLADE ♡WNS M(Y)E (HEART) ♡”. Your eyes honed filth that your natural disposition didn’t and he longed for it. He held bated breath as he informed his security about you, requesting you be located and brought to him and they replied with “We’ll try our best, sir.”

It was an after-concert tradition for Blade to hit up a local club, especially in situations like this where it was his last stop. He hoped he’d find you there, but he knew you would, especially if you were as big of a fan as you looked.

“Yukong, just thirty minutes! Please!!” you pleaded, trying to pull your friend into your opinion. She shook her head no, “I can’t! I have to go home! I’m so tired and you know…” you stop your friend there, not wanting to hear about her boyfriend.

“Fine. I’m still going though, text me when you get home.” you didn’t want Yukong to go home. But arguing was pointless, and only time was being put to the test, not her stubbornness. You knew from your years as a Blade fan that he always went to the club after a concert to meet fans, and some rumors even suggested ulterior motives, so you wanted to go. Yukong frowned at your flat expression but still hugged you, waving at you as she got in her car to go home. You’d be flying solo, but you had faith in yourself.

So you make your way over to the nearest club via taxi, praying that this is the one that Blade would visit. You weren’t all too familiar with the place, its name, Starskiff Haven, only being one you’ve heard in passing. Regardless, your thoughts were assured by the abundance of fighting and pushing bodies to get in the door—and when your phone lit up, a Twitter notification from a Blade Updates page noting his location, Starskiff Haven, you smiled widely, making your way to the line.

It was way too long and you weren’t interested in waiting all night—you had to meet Blade. A time like this is when Yukong comes into hand with her very stern persuasion, something that’s near impossible to deny. But she left, and you’d have to figure out a way in. And a thought immediately came to mind.

You walked to the front of the line, breathing in deeply and psyching yourself up for how incredibly you were about to embarrass yourself. When you exhale, you book it, beelining straight into the club, right past security. You immediately shift your demeanor, blending into the crowd seamlessly as security guards rush in, looking around for you. Hiding behind the most cluelessly drunk girl, you make your way to the bar, immediately ordering a sidecar. It packed a punch and the combination of how many shots you had earlier, it’d be just enough to get you through whatever you were about to do.

You turn around in the swivel stool, taking in the atmosphere and coasting the area for any sighting of Blade. The club was darker than the concert but heavily illuminated with hazy, colorful LEDS and much, much louder, filled to the brim with chatter and deafening bass-boosted music. Your drink was brought to you moments later, and with a big sip, you raked your eyes over the club once again. You could see bodies grinding on the main floor, the DJ bopping his head as his hands moved diligently across his DJ controller, couples making out and slipping into cornered areas, and friend groups recording and taking pictures. It was a lively environment, sure, and from the strength that beat on your tongue, established by incredibly skilled bartenders—but you weren’t looking for a new clubbing spot, you were looking for Blade.

And Blade was looking for you. Swimming through the unforgivingly hot crowd for you. He wasn’t itching to have you, he was itching to take you. Every time he closed his eyes he was brought back to his time on stage and how you danced in the audience. How your lips pushed out his lyrics and how your hands couldn’t stop waving in the air and running on your skin. How you swiped off sweat from your forehead and fanned yourself with your sign. And how you couldn’t keep your star-filled eyes off of him. Every light reflection off of your eyes showed desperation and neediness. You were begging to be picked without ever uttering a word, and he was not one to ignore indulgence. You needed him and he wanted you—so where are you?

Perched on that blue-velvet cushioned swivel stool. Sipping whatever remaining contents of your sidecar. And when he saw you, you saw him. You locked eyes and each plastered ill-intended smirks across your faces. And while you had his attention, you brought the glass to your lips, smacking them open and running your tongue along the sugar rim, collecting the sweetness on your tongue. You sucked on your tongue, rolling your eyes and he swears the “Ahh” leaving your lips is audible from his distance. He stayed still even as you slapped down your money on the counter, hopping down and disappearing into the crowd.

You make your way to him quickly, holding onto your rapidly rising chest and laughing at yourself. You were on a roll of unbelievable behavior, but it seemed to be a clean stroke because you were yet to meet a roadblock. And in a very blurry couple of minutes, the goal you’d been working toward was in the palm of your hand—literally.

You danced your way to Blade when you were finally close to him, sliding up against his body sweetly. He was tall and so sturdy against you, but he was smooth like butter as he synced to your movements and danced behind you. His hands were on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as he pushed up against you. Your exchange was wordless but it spoke volumes. It felt like a dream, entirely too good to be true but you indulged anyway, grinding against him. A gasp escapes your mouth as his left hand unabashedly grapes your tit, squeezing roughly and experimentally. His other hand trails dangerously on the band of your shorts and you let your head fall back on his shoulder, “I'm your biggest fan…”

He laughs at your declaration, leaning to press his lips feather-lightly at the shell of your ear, “Are you now?” you nod immediately, pressing into him. “‘Blade owns me’.” he mocks your sign, and laughs when he feels you slightly tense under his touch.

“I picked you,” and again, he leans down to your ear, “Are you happy, slut?” The word is so mean but it sounds so good from him. You nearly moan, nodding eagerly, as if complying with his word came with a medal. You were a slut, so willing to give it up as soon as he laid eyes on you. And you weren’t afraid to go low to get his attention, doing just about anything to be his for the night.

Fangirls like you are nothing new to Blade and as a man who looks like he does, it comes with the territory. He can read you like a damn book, cover to cover with ease because despite how enigmatic and indifferent to the norm you may try to appear, you wear your whole being on your sleeve. You do everything in your power to be somebody you're not. Your life revolves around who you think you should be and not who you are. A lot of girls are born with “it”: an innate ability to be the one wanted and desired, but you? Your “it” is manufactured, the blueprint drawn out by girls who are it. You're stuck in a limbo created by your age: too old to not be settling down, but too young to not live your life, and you try to make a box for yourself, being the exception to a path laid out for you. You're lost in the life you lead, and with the way you're dancing so shamelessly and needily on him, Blade knows you. You’re the type of girl who sees getting used as a flex, and despite signing an NDA or promising to never say anything, you’ll tell this person and that person that you got to sleep with the Blade; that the Blade picked you. Women like you are a cancer in the industry. Pests that are incessant and damn near impossible to get rid of. He knows you won't be any different than those before you, but there’s a desire to take you that he cannot ignore.

It’s his natural instinct as a man—or he’s just a shitty person. Perhaps a combination of both, because all he can think about is putting you to use. You’re making it so easy, moaning into the air under the thick remixed song the DJ is spinning, grinding against him, and holding his hand on your tit—you want him, and you’re giving yourself to him on a silver platter. You have a clear lack of respect for yourself, but luckily for you, that’s Blade’s type in women.

The atmosphere seems to be getting heavier, and it feels like time is getting slow and choppy. Now your arms are around Blade’s neck and his large hands are holding onto your ass, and you’re so close, you can feel your chests brushing with each breath you take. The world around you is nothing but background. It doesn’t exist to you, it doesn't matter to you. Not when you have Blade, the literal man of your dreams, right in your palm, and all he's looking at is you.

You feel so special. So wanted and so desired. You feel all eyes on you like you're the main attraction and everybody can’t help but watch and weep, wishing to be you. Your ego is skyrocketed and every embarrassing thing you’ve done tonight doesn't matter to you anymore because it paid off. Your eyes locked and the space between you closed. Your heart synced with the booming beat of the current song playing. You lean in, pressing your hands at the back of his neck and pulling him in. And you kiss him. You kiss Blade.

Blade kisses you back. He tightens the grip on your ass and you moan into his mouth, letting him infiltrate your mouth. He sucks on your tongue, smiling against you when he feels you push up on your tippy toes and hears you whimper into his mouth. He kisses you back. He pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, pecking your lips once more before moving to your cheek, then to your jaw, then to your neck. His hands are groping at you, roughly grabbing your ass, then your waist, then your breasts. “Are you wet?”

He says it so only you can hear it. You nod. “How wet?” He moves back up to your jaw, placing another kiss. You flutter your lashes, meeting his gaze, “So wet. All for you.”

At your response, he groans, pulling off of you. He chuckles when you pout at him. You’re just what he needs for this night. He grabs your chin, holding your face and leaning down, your lips brushing against his own. “I'm going to go smoke.” and he tells you this for a reason.

You watch with the biggest smile on your face as he sifts through the crowd, heading out of a side door. It was now or never.

Quickly, you rush to the bathroom to freshen up. You fix your hair, digging into your pocket and fishing out your lipgloss, reapplying, and you fan yourself, cooling down to not look a flustered mess. And just as quick as you ran in, you ran out toward the side door, immediately looking both ways for Blade. You smell smoke distantly and turn right, and a few paces down he stood, leaning against the brick wall of the neighboring restaurant. He's next to stacks of old wood and crates and you smile, thinking about whatever was about to go down between you.

You step in front of him and he smiles, taking you in once again. He blows his smoke in your face, tapping the ash off the cigarette before smashing the butt into the wall behind him. “Hi,” you say. He says nothing back, just slides his hand to the back of your neck and pulls you in. The kiss you share this time is messy and he now asserts control, nipping your bottom lip when he feels you go weak and pulls back.

He rakes his eyes up and down your body as you stand for him. This is the first time all night he’s seen you properly, in moderately okay lighting. Your jean mini-skirt is tight to you, accentuating the curve and fullness of your ass, and teases what’s beneath with your plump thighs poking out and how it rides up slightly. Your skin-tight baby tank is seemingly one with your figure, bringing out the best in you and making him smile with the “I ♡ BLADE” print across your chest. Your thigh-high boots did nothing when you were near him—he was looming and caging. He was intimidating and arousing, and with the lustful gaze you shared, the climax of your day was steadily approaching.

“Take it off.” He looks down at your chest and you get the memo; immediately grabbing the hem of your tank top and pulling it over your head. “Slow. Take your time…” And you listen, letting your body swivel as you remove the shirt. You unhook the clasp of your bra, and before your boobs could spill out of the confines, he grabs you and wedged you between him and the wall he previously leaned on.

The front of your body is slapped on the cold brick, but you’re swallowed in warmth as he presses against you, grinding his hard-on against your ass. One hand grabs your wrists, and the other turns you around. You look at him innocently, shivering at the breeze that blows down the alley. You can smell him: woody, smokey, and expensive. Yet here he was, pressing you up against a brick wall in a random alley. “You’re such an easy slut, y’know.”

“Bet you been thinking about this; daydreaming about your favorite artist pinning you and trashing you like the fucking whore you are.” he presses against your front, nipping at your jaw. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

You whimper, “Fuck me. Take me. Make me yours.”

“Tell me.” He growls - your answer not sufficing. “Want you to break me,”

“Always fantasized…wanting you to shove your dick down my throat and use it mindlessly and mercilessly.” He begins to kiss down your throat again, licking the tender skin. He smirks when you stop talking, your breath hitching and your head craning backward to open the expanse of your neck. He starts biting on your newfound sweet spot when you begin again, “Spit in my mouth and force me to swallow it with your cum,”

He gets to your chest, immediately taking a nipple between his teeth. He listens to you wince and whine as he does, pushing your chest into his face. “And make me beg you to fuck me. Teasing me…fuck—pinching me, pulling my hair until I'm teary-eyed and begging…”

“...And then you fuck me like you hate me; choking me, slapping me, degrading me all while I thank you stupidly.”

“You’re just fucking disgusting,” he mumbles around your nipple. He lets your hands go, palming your free tit immediately. His eyes are narrow as you whine when he twinges the bud roughly. “Put so much thought into this…you’re a weirdo slut.”

You shake your head, breathing out heavily to refute his claim, “Nuh-uh—your biggest fan.” you correct.

He laughs at you. You’re much more fun than he thought, and a lot less shameless, too. You're throwing all of your big cards out; this is your go-big or go-home moment, and while you have him here, you’ll bare yourself wholly because if not now, then not ever. Blade has to commend your patience though. You're letting him toy around, graze around your unknown territory and feel you out. You’re needy but obedient. Tired of waiting but understanding. Absolutely fucking shameful and proud, but eager to be good—so maybe he was wrong about you. You do have an “it”: an innate ability to be the perfect fucktoy.

When he lets you go, he immediately instructs you to get on your knees. And you listen immediately. The cold gravel digs into your bare knees and it's incredibly uncomfortable, yet you don’t utter a word. Your nipples are hard and pebbled and are probably so sensitive, yet you say nothing. You only sit before him, fingers dancing on the exposed thigh as you look up at him, waiting to be put to use.

So he slaps you. As you told him to—he slaps you, and his hand is heavy coming against your skin. It sounds off for what felt like possibly hundreds of miles, and your face doesn’t sting, but it hurts. The skin is heating up from the impact and your head turns to the side, hair falling against your face, yet you don’t utter a word. He grabs the back of your head, forcing you to look at him and dangerously smiling when your teary eyes look up at him wide and thankfully. “Pull my cock out,” he instructs, letting you go and standing up straight.

You get to work on his belt, undoing it swiftly, and then you unbutton his pants. You tease yourself: slowly pulling the zipper down, and when pulling his pants down to his ankles, you palm him softly, gently patting his throbbing cock and staring at the growing wet spot in his underwear. You kiss the wet spot, and then you kiss it again, and again until you suck lightly on it while making eye contact with him. You moan at the very faint taste, fluttering your eyes shut, and finally sliding your hand under the band of his underwear, holding his dick.

Blade hisses at your touch, bucking slightly into your hold at the initial contact. Usually, he’d curse you out at this point for going so slow, but he’s letting it slide this time; allowing you to take control and show him how worth it and nasty you really are.

He’s big. He’s thick—your hand can just barely wrap around the entire shaft, and as you lift him to unsheath him from his boxers, you feel how heavy he is. And hard. So fucking hard.

You gawk at his cock like a kid in a candy store, staring at his leaking slit intensely—almost as if you're waiting. “Go ahead; show me how big of a fan you are.”

You kiss his tip, the bead of precum smearing on your lips. Smacking your lips apart suggestively, you wrap your right hand around the base, applying tightness and pressure as you find the right grip, and when you do, you finally lick a clean stripe across the head. Your tongue sweeps up the new milky droplet spilling out, and you contently hum at the taste, making him groan in response. You lick from the angry tip all the way to his trimmed base, then back up again until you’ve teased every side of him and located his sensitive vein.

If anybody would have told you that all you dreamed about would be coming to fruition—all by mere luck and chance—you wouldn’t believe it. And you still don't; even as you spit a thick bead of your saliva on his cock and then massage it in with your tongue, swirling all around the sensitive head. But it’s real because he moans out for you as you finally take him in, the throb getting heavier as he sits on your tongue and your lips hug him tight.

You begin your ministrations: toying with his balls lightly as you bob up and down, going as far as you could. You tried your best to take him all in. You stretched your mouth wide around him until it felt like your mouth was going to rip at the corners and until it felt like all you could do was sputter and leak drool around him. Tears brimmed in your eyes and each time you blinked them back, keeping a pretty smile on your face every time you came up for air. Your lipgloss was mixed in with spit, and clear tear streaks had already begun to run their course with your base makeup, but you didn't stop. You were moaning incessantly, suffocating his dick in your intense vibrations that had him moaning and grunting.

When you come up from your nth deepthroat attempt, it's not for air, but to breathlessly huff out “Fuck my face…please,” And since you asked so nicely…

“Blink twice if it gets to be too much.” You open your mouth as wide as you could, sticking your tongue out. He pulls your hair back for you, yanking your head back and spitting on your tongue. His eyes tell you not to move, so you don’t, keeping eye contact with him as he wraps his other hand around your own, guiding your smaller hands up and down his shaft. He shudders, “F-fuck…’m so fuckin’ hard…”

And then he slides onto your tongue, not wasting any time before bottoming out in your mouth. Your eyes widen in surprise, and your unprepared gags speak volumes to your shock. But that doesn't deter you from wrapping your lips around him. And from there, he pulls out, pulling your head back and then pushing you back down as he thrusts his hips forward. He curses under his breath before picking up his pace, thrusting so hard that his grip tightens on your hair to hold you properly in place, fucking roughly into your face. You can only choke and sputter, having already taken your hands from around his dick and digging crescent nail shapes into his thighs. The sounds eliciting from the two of you are so nasty and filthy. His balls slap at your chin, your voice rings out from around his girth, and his moans echo around the world. You can’t take it but you’re doing a great job of trying. He slaps your face again, pulling out and hitting his tip on your tongue. “Keep your fucking eyes on me,”

“If you can do that, I'll cum all down your throat and all over your pretty fucking face, okay?” You nod eagerly, and as an incredibly degrading action of praise and acceptance, he slaps his spit-slicked dick against your cheek a few times. “Good girl.” Butterflies swarm in your stomach at his praise.

When Blade slides in, he smacks against your face. He goes to the very hilt, pushing his way to the depths of your throat roughly. Your nose is pressed up against his pelvis, and your cheeks are catching stray tears. But this is consistent as he begins thrusting, using you per your request. He grunts out each time his tip hits the back of your throat, thrusting so roughly and meanly into you. Again, you feel like all you can do is choke and gag, spilling slobber and precum mix back down his length. It’s fucking filthy and the loud squelching and impact noises hit your ears nastily, yet you can’t help but squirm and attempt to grind for friction to subdue the need throbbing in your clit.

Above you, the man is falling apart. His hips stutter every now and then and his voice is fucking endless. His long hair sticks to his sweaty forehead and sides of his neck, and it looks damn near intentionally placed from how beautiful he looks. The outdoor lights are like distant illuminators; glowing behind him softly—almost angelically. His eyebrows are knitted together and he struggles to keep his eyes every time he reaches the back of your throat and you start gagging. It’s beyond pleasurable. Blade isn't sure if it’s because of all the tension the two of you have built up, or if it's because he hasn't had any action in the last 3 weeks because of his neverending schedule, or if it’s because your mouth is fucking amazing, but he can't keep himself together. His chest starts heaving faster as he comes close to his high, his knees beginning to buckle, and his stomach caving.

You flick your tongue on the underside of his cock as much as you can and glue your eyes to his, seeing his release breaking him down inch by inch. “Fuck! I'm gonna fucking cum!” He announces, throwing his head back.

He stills in your mouth and you take the opportunity to suck harshly on his tip, swirling your tongue around it like it’s the sweetest lolly you’ve ever tasted. He pulls out of your mouth, and you vigorously stroke his cock, so focused and determined to milk him dry. He leans forward, slapping his palm against the wall behind you for stability as he cums. He moans so prettily as he paints your face, the warm ropes making you hum contently. You give him no break, sucking his tip one last time to make sure you get the most out of what he’s given you.

Blade catches his breath, standing up straight soon after and condescendingly cooing at the mess made on your face. He picks up a glob as he sweeps his thumb over your cheek, sliding the digit in your mouth. He presses on your tongue, finding pleasure in how you swallow your sounds under a layer of gagging, but how you never tear your eyes off of him. He does this until you’ve cleaned off your face—but he's not done with you.

You're finally allowed off of your aching knees. You're sure the gravel will leave an indent from how long you were down there. He pinches your pebbled nipples, smirking as you yelp. “What was it that was next? Making you beg..making you earn my cock in you?” you nod rapidly, backing into the wall for stability as he toys with your very sensitive tits. “Show me how you beg then.”

You put your hands on his shoulders to help you stand up, feeling so weak all of a sudden. Your voice cracks as you try to speak, meek little whimpers flowing out as he works your body expertly—like he knows what gets you going. “Please…fuck–Please fuck me, I need you so bad…!”

A shrill yelp is chased out of your throat when his palm cracks against one of your boobs, “Is that all you got? Try again.”

So you do. “Need you to fuck me, Blade. I wanna be used by you, broken–please, I'll do anything!”

“Not good enough. Again.”

“Please fuck me like the slut I am! I need to be full of you, need to have you fuck me ragged and dumb so all I think of is you!” you pitch up your voice, breathing it all out in one breath.

Pitiful. Another smack. “Again.”

“I'm so needy for you, please! It hurts–I need you so much, it hurts! Please…”

And he's heard enough. His right hand slides up to your neck, forcing you against the wall. His grip is tight, fingers pressing into the sides and you have to fight for your eyes to not roll to the back of your head. “You must not want me as bad as you acted like you did…”

“I do! I do!” You interject, but your voice is weak and small—nothing in comparison to his deep and lust-saturated tone. “Then act like you do. Beg.”

He runs his other hand up your thigh, cupping your cunt. Your panties are soaked, and he can feel the heat radiating off of you. He pushes the fabric to the side, running two fingers through your folds and you swear you almost fell out then and there. You'd gone teased and untouched all night—you were beyond ready.

“Pussy is fucking soaked…” he mumbles, letting his index and middle finger twirl through your folds, getting closer and closer to your clit. “You want me here? To fuck your sloppy pussy until you're cumming your brains out?”

Your eyes start to roll and he can feel the pulse intensify in your cunt. That's exactly what you wanted. “Say it. Say ‘I want my sloppy pussy fucked until I'm cumming my brains out, Blade’. Say it,”

You part your lips, and he slightly loosens the grip on your throat, “Wan–want…I want my sloppy pussy…” You get shy with your words, and he delivers a slap to your clit. The stimulation has you buckling over. You feel like his hands on you are going to be the death of you. “Say it.”

With the courage finally built up, “I want my sloppy pussy fucked until I'm cumming my brains out, Blade! Please, I need it s’bad…feel like I'm gonna fucking die!” leaves your lips easily like spreading butter on toast. His lips that you never got enough of tasting quirk up into his signature smirk. He lets you go, pushing you against the wooden crates and flipping up your jean skirt.

“There you go; atta-fucking-girl.” he practically rips your panties off of you, slapping your pussy just for the hell of it. He cringes at the sound it makes and laughs cruelly at your whimpering. He presses up against you, his semi-hard dick pressed against your ass, and he wraps his arm around you and shows you the coat of your arousal that paints his fingers. “Spit.”

With your spit and abundance of slick collected on his fingers, Blade strokes his cock, going until he’s near painfully hard. The sounds he elicits make your pussy clench around nothing, needing to be satiated so desperately. “Are you ready? There’s no going back.”

This is somehow the sweetest moment for you. Your heart swells and you can only sheepishly nod, wiggling your hips eagerly. “Never been more sure about anything in my life. Ruin me.”

Ask once more, and you shall receive once more. His cock is swiped through your folds and collects a considerable amount of your arousal. He lines up at your entrance, watching you brace yourself with a smile ingrained into his face. He pushes in with a sharp inhale, biting his tongue at the feel of your tightness. Your pussy sucks him right in and—fuck. Warm and soft and tight, he could cum right now.

Your face crinkles up and you grip tightly onto the wooden crates in front of you. You’ve dreamt of this for so long—touched yourself at night to the thought and it's finally happening. He's inside of you, stretching you out, sinking in and in and in, inch by inch until he buries himself deep in your guts, until his tight and heavy balls are touching your folds. You're so sensitive you feel like you're ready to cream already, and you need it, need him, and need more. You grind your hips back on him, exhaling thickly as you rest your head against your forearm. “So fucking ready for me…”

His hand cracks down on your ass. It hurts so well and you wince, arching your back further. He sighs, kneading your skin softly. Then he pulls out, inching out until only the tip sits idly in you. You turn around to look at him, and doing that ignites his fire.

Your face is pathetic and fucked out already. Eyebrows knitted together and your eyes heavy, hardly staying open. Your lips are parted yet folded into a small frown, and perspiration rests at your hairline. You egg him on to slam into you, and he watches your frown drop into a wide ‘o’ shape, your eyes fluttering. So he does it again. And your lip now slips between your teeth. And again. And you drop your head back onto your arms.

And so Blade keeps up this pace, gradually going faster as the pit in his stomach urges him to do so. Your sounds are now uncontrollable—they fly out of you like a skipping record, incoherent babbles, and sinful moans. Each collision of your bodies elicits a visceral, wet slap that echoes off the walls of the alleyway. People around the world could probably hear what you're doing, and you're not sure if that bothers you…if the thought of a curious passerby walking down this alley naïvely would be an issue. If anything, it makes you get louder, your throat not getting to rest.

He hits you again, groaning when your pussy clenches around him. “You’re so fucking loud– you want somebody to find us?” Yes, that is what you want to say. But you moan out louder, shaking your head no. He hits you again. “Don’t lie to me,”

“You’re a fucking painslut,” he spits at you. He wraps his arm to reach your clit, immediately finding the bud and pinching it. Your knees go weak and he stabilizes you against him by pushing you further into the crates in front of you. You sniffle and whimper, presumably spilling tears down your filthy fucking face but doing nothing but asking for more. You've gotten so wet, dripping everywhere messily and Blade only cringes his face up with each wet collision. You're so nasty, so filthy, letting a stranger who you parasocial bonded yourself to defile you in public. He's feeding into your crazed delusions, but he’d honestly rather be doing nothing else. When he pinches your clit again your body shakes. Your knees buckle again and from the waist up you're basically limp. He feels you tighten around him and he sucks his teeth, parting your ass to peer at the milky ring forming around the base of his cock. “Did you just fucking cum?” Yes, you did. And you felt like Heaven doing it.

“You came ‘cause I pinched your clit…” he does it again and you jolt up, whining for him to stop. “So if I slap it…” he slaps it, eyeing you for your reaction. “Or rub on it like I love you…” his fingers run circles on your bud, feeling you get impossibly tighter around him. “So fucking easy.”

He resumes his thrusts like he never stopped—slamming into you unapologetically and now additionally, rubbing on your cute, abused clit. He's not going to last long at this rate. Your pussy gushes around him like a running river and the noises have gotten even nastier. Squelching and the occasional puffs of air escaping…you’re a mess.

“Love this fucking cunt,” he praises while pinching your clit. His free hand that rested on the small of your back is now holding onto your neck, forcing you to stand upright against him. Blade is lean but muscular. His arms flex and you feel his abs every time your bodies get close enough. His strong thighs touch yours and it's like you feel his entire body weight every time he pushes into you. “So good, ‘s so fucking good, Blade!”

The man laughs at your outburst. He angles his hips differently, trying so hard to find your sweet spot to get you creaming again. “Yeah?” he asks, tightening his grip on your throat. “Mhm-!” you concur.

“Where?” He’s sure he's found it, and he drives his hips up, groaning happily once he feels your gummy walls contract around him. “Here?”

Your head nods rapidly. “Yes, yes, yes–fuck! Right there, oh my fucking God!”

Neither of you are going to last. Blade’s balls are so tight and the way your pussy hugs him is even tighter. You suck him in like you never want him to leave, but your over-stimulated squeals and shaking thighs suggest otherwise. He’s found your sweet spot and is recklessly abusing it, going all or nothing. The way he toyed with your clit like a kitten pawing at a toy was too much—it started to hurt, to throb endlessly as your stomach knotted and your hole drooled. His grip on your neck was the icing on the cake. You felt like you could no longer breathe — like his thrusts were knocking the wind out of you and him choking you was keeping it out. Every little thing he did pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

He was even more merciless than before. Blade fucked into you harder, rougher, and faster than before, and you chalked that up to his orgasm catching up to him. You listen to his songs on repeat all the time but never have you heard him sing more beautifully than now as he digs your pussy out. You were really blessed with this night, and now it is coming to a very eventful end.

“‘M gonna fucking cum–!” You announce, and Blade nods his head in agreement. He slaps your cunt one last time, his fingers covered in your juices now tweaking at one of your nipples. “Me…me too, fuck.”

He leans into your ear, “Make me cum in this fucking pussy,” a throaty moan breaks his sentence, and you moan back, feeling it coming. “So close, so close…!”

It's this contraction that has Blade falling apart. He thrusts into you one last time, his eyes shooting wide open as he cums deep in you. He moans gutturally and shakily, feeling you clench tighter as you orgasm as well. His hips stutter in you and your hips ride back onto him as you both come down from your highs. The alley is now deafeningly silent and you flush in embarrassment from how loud you must have been. He lets your neck and tit go, using one hand to now spread your ass and pull out his cock. Your pussy is puffy and shiny, and when he’s out, he watches with a burning gaze as your mixture of cum starts to slightly spill out.

He groans, slapping your ass one last time. You two finally separate, and you turn around to look at him. You're sure he doesn't look as fucked up as you do, but even so disheveled and fucked out and sweaty as he is, you can’t help but feel your heart flutter. He pulls up his boxers and pants, fixing his shirt before he looks over at your mostly naked frame. He comes over to you, pulling down your skirt, and his doing this makes you feel less like a one-night stand, and more like one of his girls.

Being so close to you, he breathes you in. You smell like sex, but beneath that is a layer of whatever fruity perfume you sprayed on you, and it's delectable; so he kisses you. It's something he doesn't usually do, and he wouldn't have done it for you, but you entrance him. Perhaps it's because you're what he likes— he's met his match.

But you kiss each other passionately like you were trying to reignite the flame you just spent God knows how long fucking out. Your tongues are well acquainted with one another, swirling and bumping and riding past one another knowingly. He pulls away from you, looking in your eyes as he lets spit fall onto your tongue once again. You smile happily as you swallow it—God, you could do this forever. “Come back with me,”

You didn't expect him to say that. You blink your eyes a few times in disbelief. This night can't be any more unreal. He notices your confusion and smiles, “Is that a no–”

“–No! I'll come with you!” you don't know where he’s taking you, or what it means to go with him. You do know that you’ll have a lot to tell Yukong, NDA or not, and that you’ll never forget this day.

Smiling again, this time devilishly, Blade pulls away from you, pinching your cheek. “Good girl.”

[bogkeep]

grousing about ai art stuff

every time i open twitter (my mistake) there's a new thread on how to spot ai art or ai photos by finding all the mistakes in it, and like obviously this is useful and it's good to watch out because they kEEP SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE AHHH HELL WORLD HELL WORLD, but it's also a little depressing that we're training ourselves to nitpick all kinds of details within a piece of art.

like even before the artifically generated image boom randos on twitter would reply to fully finished illustrations with the most asinine unsolicited advice possible. art's gonna be flawed sometimes! i'll draw someone in a weird pose because of vibes! i'll wing a hand! i don't fucking know what a house actually looks like!!! like yes of course the way a human artist creates flawed art is different from the way an algorithm doesn't actually know what anything looks like because it has no mind. it doesn't know shit. so it's not that it's UNRELIABLE but it's like. it's like... i've been telling myself and others every time i'm struggling to make something look Just Right that actually nobody i going to be staring as hard at my art as i am while making it. if i don't point it out people aren't likely to notice unless they are going through it with a fine toothed comb BUT NOW WE ARE DOING THAT APPARENTLY. WHICH IS ANYONE'S PEROGATIVE AND FAIR ENOUGH! PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT MY ART HOWEVER THEY WANT IT'S FINE

but it's ALSO so depressing to consider having to analyse every single piece of art you come across like that my goddddddd i just wanna enjoy it!! i wanna enjoy art!!!! i mean the main reason i finally stopped going on twitter regularly was during the NFT boom and i got so tired of having to vet every single artist i came across to make sure i wasnt retweeting nft stuff. like that really ruined my previously enjoyable experience of LOOKING AT NICE ART ON MY FEED WITHOUT PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE.

god another thing that happened during the dark nft times was how certain art styles tended to be nfts. and i don't mean the ugly apes and stuff, like of course there's those, but there were a lot of artists who sold their souls to crypto and there was just a certain Vibe to a lot of those styles. like i got a sixth sense for it, i would see a piece of art by an unknown artists and when i checked - yep, that was a crypto guy now. and you know what!!!! i hated that!!!! i hate that it ruined entire art styles for me!! AND NOW ARTIFICIALLY GENERATED IMAGES ARE DOING THE SAME!!!!! like what tends to tip me off is less because i spotted some wonky hand or a weird flap but because the style is a popular one for the ai bros to imitate. you know what i mean right!!!!!! it's kind of how the ai photos look a bit too clean and crisp and smooth in an unsettling way. it just pings the brain a bit.

ULTIMATELY the absolute main method i have for filtering away ai images isn't so much looking for mistakes, but by checking sources. it's the same way i check that i'm not reblogging from reposting accounts Because That's A Thing I Care About Too - if there's no description or the description seems off and i don't recognise the OP, i check the original post/blog to see what's up. if the image gives me a weird vibe, i check where it comes from and who posted it. oftentimes the comments on posts with ai images will point it out - they're not always accurate and there's definitely been times where people are a little too trigger happy to accuse art of being AI... but it can be a good lead or confirm suspicions. on one hand, i don't want to do detective work while im having chill scrolling time, but on the other hand - i already had this habit for other reasons, so it's less disruptive to me than the alternative. it also helps that it's very rare for ai shit to turn up in my tumblr feed. i don't want to keep looking over my shoulder!!

(also for anyone who wants a little bit of optimism in the middle of all this, here's an episode of Better Offline podcast that outlines how it's very unlikely for generative ai to actually get much better. here's the part two also.)

[kkyaka]

Summary: Running into someone who was a key part in making high school hell for you wasn't what you expected when you settled into college Pairing: Ukai Keishin x black!fem!reader Warnings: friends to lovers (kinda), college!au, a handful of angst, reader kinda overworks herself, ukai is whipped for reader, one random bad encounter with an oc, reader was bullied in high school and is still holding onto that LMFAO, making out, grinding, tit sucking, little bit of marking, fingering, i think that's it, if there's anymore please tell me ya girl is tired Word Count: 21,351 (oops) A/N: Um, it's been a while LMFAO. I'm honestly not very proud of this fic, but I wanted to post it anyway as kinda of gateway to getting back into posting my fics cause I have four more (maybe five) that I wanna post. This was a part of my scrapped follower event (RIP). Reblogs are appreciated, and thank you for reading if you do read this trash!

The first week of classes always makes you anxious. This semester, you’ve got some classes in buildings you’ve never been in, and you didn’t get a chance to walk the campus to find them because you moved in so late. You don’t know why the apartment you moved into decided that moving in the weekend before school started was a great idea.

Luckily, you found your first class with ease, a simple elective that you need to graduate, and you hope that the coursework won’t be too hard. You got here early just in case you had trouble finding it, so you scroll on your phone to pass the time as the class fills in. None of your friends are in this class, so you’re not waiting on anybody.

By the size of the room, it doesn’t look like the class size will be that big, so you hope that the people that are taking it with you are bearable. No one is sitting at the desks around you, and that doesn’t bother you, but what does bother you is that someone sits right next to you when there were other seats open. 

You try to keep the sigh you make as silent as possible, not even giving the person a look as you keep your attention on your phone. You put it away when the professor walks in, pulling your laptop out of your backpack as she introduces herself. “Make sure you guys introduce yourselves to the people around you because you’re going to be working with them a lot this semester.”

You try to hide your annoyance, putting on a nice smile before you turn to the person that’s sitting next to you, but it drops the moment your eyes land on them. You feel something run through you that you can’t explain, grabbing the corner of your desk in a tight grip. 

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” he laughs, but there’s not a single part of you that finds any of this funny.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you whisper, thankful that you’re in the back of the classroom so no one can eavesdrop. 

“Why so hostile? I thought we were friends.”

“We’re far from that Ukai, and you know it.” His name feels heavy, foreign on your tongue, something you hadn’t even thought about saying in months. 

Ukai Keishin. Someone that you’d never thought you’d see again. Someone who’s been haunting your past for way longer than you’d like. You thought that college would give you the chance to get away from him, and yeah sure, you picked a relatively small college, but out of all of the colleges, he picks this one? You can’t help but look over him, seeing how much he’s changed; how much he’s grown. He is not the same boy that you’ve known for so long, and you willfully ignore that part of you that wants to examine that even further.

“You’ve always been so mean to me,” he whines playfully, which makes you roll your eyes because that’s rich coming from him. 

“Answer my question,” you say, hoping that you get an answer from him, and then you just go back to ignoring him. 

“Same reason you are, no?”

“Why this one, specifically?” you press, looking around with your eyes for somewhere else you can sit the next time you have this class.

“You can ease up, alright? I’m being totally honest when I say I had no idea you would be here too.” It doesn’t sound like he’s lying, looking over his face before finding something else to do. You don’t bother to continue the conversation; thankfully, the professor gets the class's attention again. 

She asks if anyone wants to share something about the person that they introduce themselves to, and a few people raise their hands. You sigh slowly, resting your chin on your hand after you put your elbow on the desk. After a few people have shared, she goes over the syllabus, but you’re not paying attention.

Even though you’re not looking at him, the fact that you now know he’s sitting next to you, is the only thing you can focus on. You’ve never wished for a class to be over so fast in your life so that you can just get out of here without having to speak to him again. You sigh a bit, feeling like he’s watching you, but you refuse to look over at him to confirm that.

The longer your professor talks, the more uneasy you start to feel. You knew that the class wouldn’t last the whole time today since it was the first class, but you swear that time has slowed down. You see Ukai move a little bit closer to you in the corner of your eye, and you try to act like you didn’t see it.

“When’s your next class?” you hear him whisper, but you don’t answer, only responding with a quick side-eye. You turn your attention back to the front, and you sigh in annoyance, but that’s not enough to deter him because you feel a nudge at your desk. 

“Leave me alone,” you whisper, keeping your eyes forward.

“I will when you tell me.” You ball your hand into a fist, sighing again because you’re pretty sure he’s not going to mess with you anymore; figuring he just said that to get a rise out of you. You shake your head softly. It’s too fucking early for this. She’s starting to get toward the end of the syllabus, so you decide to order some food since you skipped breakfast this morning. You leave your phone on your desk while you put your laptop back into your bag, and when your eyes land on your desk, your phone is gone.

Your head immediately turns to the culprit, and he’s looking at the screen, but you can’t tell what he’s doing. “Are you a child?!” you grit, glancing at the front of the room before you try to reach for it. He’s quick to move away from you so that you can’t reach your phone, and right as your professor dismisses the class, he gives you your phone back.

You frown, thinking that he was going to put up more of a fight, and you notice how he steps closer to you when the other students are leaving the classroom, but there’s nowhere for you to move to. When the last student is out, you quickly make your way out, sliding past him when he puts distance between the two of you. 

You have a class in about another hour, so you order your food before you check to see if he did anything to your phone. Nothing looks different, and he cleared your apps, covering his tracks, so you’d have to do some digging to figure out what he did. You don’t bother to find it right now, trying not to concentrate on the fact that you will now be in the same room as Ukai.

You cross your fingers that he’ll drop the class, and you could also do that, but there’s no way you’d go through with it. You had left high school with high hopes that you would never see him again, but it’s just your shitty luck that you do. He made your life a living hell before college, and you were hoping that you could start fresh, leaving all of that behind.

But how long has he been here? You’ve been here a year already and you had no clue that he was here. And even if he was, your mom would’ve probably told you about it since she stays in touch with some of the other parents of your peers from high school. So, why were you unpleasantly surprised today?

You check to see how close your food is to being ready when you get a text. Your walking slows when you see Ukai’s name pop up, and seeing it allows you to figure out what he was doing with your phone. You swipe it away, shaking your head before you pick up the pace, but you falter when you see that he’s calling you.

You stop, stepping off to the side so that you’re not in the way of other people before you answer it. “God, what do you want?” you groan. 

“It’s only ten-thirty in the morning, and you’re already this grumpy?” he chuckles, and you ball your hand into a fist, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself.

“I’m blocking you,” you say.

“Aw, you don’t mean that, do you?” You can hear his voice more precisely this time, but it doesn’t sound like it’s coming through the phone. You turn around to see him walking up to you with a smirk on his face, phone by his ear.

You hang up the phone, sighing heavily. “What do you want?” you repeat, way past annoyed right now, and when you look back at him, you see something flash in his eyes, but it’s gone before you can figure out what it was.

“Just give me fifteen minutes, okay?” He’s lost that teasing tone in his voice, and you chew on your lip softly while you contemplate before you finally give in. 

“Fine. I’m heading to the student union to get some food,” you tell him, hoping that this will finally get him to leave you alone. You start walking, and he happily steps in rhythm right next to you. It’s pretty silent for the first couple of feet you walk, and you expected him to continue the conversation, but he stays silent.

You definitely don’t have anything you want to say to him; well, in public at least. Your mind is racing as you walk, and you’re starting to wish that he would talk to you so that you can shut your thoughts out. You can’t help but think about how he treated you when you were younger, and how most of the time he was the aid in your bullying. 

As far as you’re concerned, you didn’t think he liked you, or either he loved to make your life a living hell, and his actions justified that. But what he’s doing now is completely baffling to you. You can’t help but scoff, rubbing over your head as you smile. Who knew that your day could be turned upside down in a matter of minutes?

“What’s so funny?” he asks, making you realize that you accidentally reacted to your thoughts out loud.

“So, did you transfer, or…?” you say, not wanting to answer the question.

“Nah, I was here last school year,” he answers, shoving his hands in his pockets. You nod softly, looking at the ground. The school isn’t that small, so you may have just never run into him. But on the other hand, the school isn’t massive either, so you’re a bit surprised that you haven’t seen him.

“I’m assuming you’re majoring in something dealing with agriculture?” you ask next, meeting his gaze, and the smile he gives you makes you feel too many things, and you don’t like it.

“Horticulture, specifically, yeah,” he tells you with a nod, looking at the ground before he looks at you again. “Now, how’d you know that?”

You choke a bit, clearing your throat as you look off to the side. “I mean, who didn’t? Farming was all you talked about in high school,” you try. It’s a horrible attempt at taking the heat off the fact that you know what he’s interested in, and you know there’s no way that it worked.

“You were listening to me in high school?” he questions, and the teasing tone in his voice increases your urge to punch him in the stomach.

“It’s not like I had a choice, you and your friends talked so fucking loud all of the time.” That you say with confidence because there’s a ton of truth to that statement. He’s always been obnoxious, but with his friends, it seemed like it would always multiply. Not seeing him was the best part of your high school career. 

He laughs a bit in surprise before he nods. “Okay, I’ll give you that.” One of the bigger classes must’ve gotten out because there are a lot more people around as you walk, forcing Ukai to move closer to you. You try to shy away, but there’s no way you can move without falling off the sidewalk, so you just bite your tongue when you feel his shoulder brush against yours.

“Alright, so how’s your schedule looking this semester?”

“Hectic to say the least,” you chuckle, sighing a bit as you think about your future workload. “So, I hope this class will be the least of my worries.”

“Ah, you’ll be fine, just don’t stress too much about it.”

You scoff. “Yeah, that’s a lot easier said than done.” When you get to the student union, he holds the door open for you, and you thank him softly, picking up your pace a little, but he falls in time with your steps.

You quickly glance at your phone, seeing that your order is ready, and you’re grateful for an excuse to get away from him. “Uh, well, my food is ready, so I should probably go.” You try to turn around as fast as you can, but he must notice that you’re trying to leave because he starts talking right when you finish.

“Do you have any other classes today?” he says quickly, and you stop, trying to hide your heavy sigh.

“No,” you lie, but that isn’t enough to let him drop the conversation because he speaks up again, and you wonder why you haven’t just walked away yet. 

“You mind if I join you while you eat?” That sounds like a horrible idea, so you promptly come up with an excuse that thankfully doesn’t sound forced.

“Oh, well, I’m probably gonna go sit in the library,” you say. “Wanna make sure I’m not gonna fall behind since I already have homework.” You feel like you might be playing it up too much, especially when he squints after he hears your words.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounds like you’re trying to avoid me,” he infers, and you start to panic a little bit, trying to think about how to respond.

“I’m not. I promise.” You chuckle, waving your hand out right as you feel your phone vibrate with a text. “I’ve already made plans to meet up with my friend, so…” Perfect timing, you think in your head because if that text hadn’t come through, you don’t know what you would’ve said.

He smirks at you before he nods his head. “Okay, then. I’ll let you go.” You almost curl your body forward slightly in relief, but you hold that urge back. “It was good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” you say tersely, giving him a tight smile. You awkwardly wave before you finally turn around and walk away to get your food. You don’t walk fast, but you do try to get out of there as soon as you can because you can feel his eyes on you without even having to look. 

It makes you feel a certain type of way that you don’t even want to try and tackle, so you hightail it out of there. Once you get outside, you feel like you can breathe again, but now you don’t know where to go. It’s not like you could sit inside the student union after lying to Keishin, so you look at the time on your phone to try and figure out where would be the best place to go.

Based on the time, there’s a building you could sit in and not have to worry about a lot of people being there, so you head on over there. You slide your headphones onto your head from around your neck and let the music take over the thoughts that you don’t want to hear right now as you walk.

“It’s only the beginning of the week, and you already look like you want it to be over.” Your forehead is pillowed by your forearms on the table, and you lift your head to set your chin on your arms. 

“I had a terrible surprise this morning,” you answer solemnly. You didn’t lie to Ukai entirely. You were meeting up with your friend, but it was after your second class, and you weren’t meeting her in the library. So, it was just a tiny lie. Luckily, you didn’t run into him anymore today, but you hate how you were on high alert the whole day.

You’ve never been more aware of your surroundings, looking around when you leave the building, and making sure you’re continuously looking around as you walked to your car. You could say that you’re being dramatic, but another part of you just wants to consider it “keeping your peace” since seeing Ukai again brought back painful memories.

“What? You tripped in front of a lot of people or what?” You sit up, sighing as you lean back in your chair.

“I saw someone from high school that I thought I’d never see again.” Your friend flips through her textbook, already having homework, as she shrugs.

“So? What’s so bad about that?”

“He made my life a living hell.” Your friend perks up at that, lifting her head to give you her full attention.

“Oh, it’s a ‘he’? Is he cute?” You give her a plain look, which makes her chuckle a little. “Okay, so I need a backstory. We’ve been friends for like a year, and I don’t think I’ve heard about this guy.”

And there’s a reason for that. You would much rather leave painful memories behind, but your luck says otherwise. “Well, I would prefer to not talk about a guy that made my life harder than needed,” you start with a sigh, “but today, he acted like everything from high school never happened.”

“What does that mean?”

“He was nice to me.” You can’t help but scoff a little, laughing because it sounds like the bare minimum, but he was nowhere near acting like that back then. “I thought he hated me or something.” 

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Because he messed with me non-stop! He and his friends humiliated me as much as they could.”

“Are you sure that it was him that was messing with you or was he just in the background?” That makes you freeze, and you slump a little at her question. If you think about it, he’s never physically done or said anything to you, but the fact that he was there, and didn’t do anything to stop it was enough to convince you that he didn’t like you. And it was enough for you to not like him. 

“What did he say to you today?” your friend asks after you’re silent for a while. 

“He put his number in my phone, and he walked with me to the student union. He said he thought we were friends.” You rub your hand over your face, resting your top half on the table again. There’s so much confusion on a Monday, and you’ve barely been to all of your classes. 

“It doesn’t sound like he hates you to me.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s making me sound like I’m fucking crazy,” you say lightly, looking at what’s playing on the TV behind your friend. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to butter me up or something to try and make himself look good. And then he’ll make my life miserable again once I let him back in.”

“You’ve always been so dramatic,” your friend laughs. “I’m telling you right now, that I don’t think that’s the case. He definitely would’ve acted differently, right? Did he ever talk to you in high school?”

“Barely. I caught him staring at me all the fucking time. He sometimes tried to talk to me after his friends did something to me, but I never let him speak.” Your friend is a hundred percent invested in this story, all of her attention on you instead of her textbooks.

“Okay, give me a couple of instances where you were messed with,” she tells you after she laughs at your answer. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to re-live through some of those moments. 

You tell her about the time they constantly tripped you while you were walking to your seat in a class you shared with him. You tell her about the time they started rumors about you multiple times. Now, that you’re older, they weren’t that bad, but just the thought of people that stuff about you made you hate half of high school. 

You told her about all the times you heard them whispering, knowing that they were talking about you and feeling tears welling up in your eyes at the snickers you would hear behind you. You stop soon after, biting your lip to calm yourself before your friend asks where was Ukai in all of this.

“He never said anything, and like I said, he was always staring at me whenever I looked at him.” You tell her about the times he would come up to you after class, usually after the bullying, but you didn’t give him a chance to speak, darting out of the room before he could even get your name out.

“Maybe he was trying to apologize,” she offers. “I’m not saying that I’m condoning him sitting there and letting it happen, but I don’t think he hates you like you say he does. At all.”

“Well, he had a lot of time to apologize, and he never did.” Yeah, you’re still hung up about it, and you don’t care if you sound like a child. He was a bystander and still dared to call them his friends and hang out with them after what they did to you.

“Well, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but if you wanna hear him out, I don’t blame you. But if you don’t, then you could always drop the class and find another one to fill your requirement,” she says. “But, I know you’re not gonna drop, so it’s up to you,” she tacks on, making you frown at her. She smiles at you before she goes back to your textbook, and you can’t help but copy it, standing up and making your way toward your room, but not without playfully shoving her first.

You spend the rest of your night torn between completely ignoring your friend or taking her advice. Not having homework is a good and bad thing because you don’t have anything to distract you from your thoughts. You kill the time by watching a show that you’ve already seen a bunch of times, scrolling through your phone while you sit on your bed. 

Your friend has a point, but there’s a part of you that’s spent a while trying to lock that part of your life away, and you don’t want to go through the trouble of opening it back up again. You don’t know if you’ll be able to handle it when everything you’ve suppressed comes flying out.

When your eyelids start to feel heavy, you decide to call it a night, hoping in the shower before you do your face routine. When you get in bed, you toss and turn for a little bit, hoping that your dilemma stays out of your dreams.

Wednesday rolls around faster than you’d like, and you find yourself in that class once again in the same seat you picked on the first day of classes. You keep your headphones on as you get comfortable, having about fifteen minutes before class starts. You can feel yourself getting antsier as the class time approaches, wondering if Ukai dropped the class. 

You shrug off your thoughts, questioning in your head why you’re so worried about him in the first place. It doesn’t do much though because you feel your heart start racing when you can see someone sitting next to you in your peripheral. You don’t look, keeping your eyes on your phone, but you decide to switch your attention to your laptop.

You think the professor talks starting, so you turn your headphones off, sliding them off your head. “Good morning.” You hear it almost as soon as you take the headphones off your ears, and it nearly scares you.

“Morning,” you reply softly, glancing to the side to confirm that Ukai is sitting next to you. 

“How was your day yesterday?” he asks, and you shake your head a little as you shrug.

“Uh, it was pretty okay, I guess. It’ll be more hectic next week once my labs start,” you tell him, and it feels weird to be making small talk with him. Your friend’s words echo in your head as you ask him about his day yesterday.

“Mine was pretty okay, too. You know the first week of classes is always dragging.” You give him a nod, deciding to fully turn your head to look at him, but when you see that he’s staring right at you, you quickly look back at your laptop. 

Your professor starts talking, so you attempt to pay attention even though you’re more nervous than you’d like to be. Right as she finishes the discussion about what you’re going to be doing today, someone walks into the class. 

No one notices because they’ve all started talking to themselves in the groups that they’re in, and since you’re sitting in the back right by the door, she catches your attention. You look over her, commenting in your head how pretty her outfit is, but then Ukai quickly averts your attention to him.

“You did the readings, right?” he asks, and you squint at him.

“Did you?” you say right back, and he smiles a little which makes you think about how you’re feeling about that. 

“I did,” he answers confidently before giving you a synopsis of the reading much to your surprise. “I can’t slack off like I did in high school, so I’m trying to start early so I don’t get behind.” His words leave you a little stunned, but before you can even try and form a response, the girl who walked in late walks up to the both of you.

“You don’t mind if I work with you, do you?” She’s only looking at Ukai when she asks, and she must’ve walked up to the professor and had her fill her in on what you’re doing.

“Well, I’m working with her already, so,” he answers, and you make a face when it looks like disdain appears across her face.

“Oh, well, the professor said I could join a group,” she responds, and you can feel the air taking an awkward turn, but you have no idea what to say. Ukai sighs a little, glancing at you before he looks at her.

“Sure, one more doesn’t hurt.” She smiles widely before moving one of the desks closer to him before sitting down, and he leans towards you, which makes you lean back a little. “Are you okay with this?” he whispers.

“Uh, yeah, it’s fine,” you mumble back quickly, overwhelmed by how close he is. It doesn’t look like your words convinced him, but she’s talking to him again, so he doesn’t get a chance to make sure. While he’s talking to her, filling her in on what you’re supposed to be doing, you pull up your annotations from the readings you had to read for this class.

For about ten minutes, absolutely no work gets done because every time Ukai tries to talk to you, she interrupts with questions that have nothing to do with the work. And she’s only talking to him. You have an annoyed look on your face as you stare at your empty word document. Ukai seems to be just annoyed as you, and you truly don’t know why she’s acting like this. You don’t even know her.

You figure that you’re probably not going to get any work done, and by the conversations you’re overhearing from the other groups, they’re not necessarily talking about their group work either. It seems like there’s a lull in the conversation between her and Ukai, so you speak up.

“I like your outfit,” you say, giving her a small smile.

“I didn’t ask.” 

Keishin freezes, his fingers no longer typing on his keyboard, and your face drops. She’s giving you an ugly look, and you’re about to turn and face her, but he stops you by asking you some questions about the work. There’s a look in his eyes that you can’t decipher, but after that, he barely pays attention to her.

Every time she tries to talk, he talks over her, and it’s starting to get to you. “Ukai, it’s okay,” you say softly, and you don’t need to say it that loud because he’s practically in your space, moving over whenever she moved closer to him.

“No, it’s not,” he grits, and you never knew that fifty minutes could be so long. You managed to get some of your document filled, and you start to pack your stuff up once there are about five minutes left in class. You wish you could be out of here sooner. The girl continues to talk now that Ukai isn’t occupied anymore, and you can’t even bring yourself to look their way.

You feel a pit forming in your stomach at what she said to you, her attitude not sitting right with you, but you don’t want to say anything to her. The other part of you just wants to get out of her, and you refuse to let her ruin the rest of your day. Your professor lets the class out a little early once she sees that everyone is finishing up, and since your backpack is already packed, you quickly stand.

Ukai stands up almost at the same time you do, way faster. “So, I was wondering–” The girl is standing as well, and she’s still talking to him. 

“I didn’t ask.” You choke a bit at Ukai’s sudden response, turning your head to look away as you try to hold in your laugh, but not before you can catch her stunned reaction. You jump when he grabs your hand and pulls you out of the room ahead of everyone else. You have to walk a little faster to keep up with him, and he doesn’t let your hand go until you’re both well away from the building.

“Are you okay?” he asks, slowing his steps.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” you say. “I’m a little pissed, yeah, but I’m not stressed over it.” He doesn’t say anything in return, and the silence allows you to remember that he’s still holding your hand. 

You feel your face grow warm as you slightly tug, and he feels it, letting go of your hand immediately. “Sorry about that,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say lightly even though your body isn’t taking it so lightly. You grab your hand gently, rubbing over your palm as if you’re missing the feeling of his hand against yours. 

“So, it looks like you’re done for the day,” he says without missing a beat, and you frown a bit before you quickly remember that you lied to him about your schedule. 

“Oh, yeah,” you respond slowly, wondering if you want to come clean about it. “I would be, but I do have another class in an hour. My professor canceled the class on Monday for some reason.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this, and there’s a small part of you that regrets it the moment you do.

“Really? What class is it?”

“Uh, quantitative chemistry.”

“Oof, sounds hard,” he grimaces, and you chuckle a little, shaking your head a little.

“I don’t think it’ll be that bad, hopefully. Math wasn’t always my best, but it’s stuff I already learned so I should be fine.” You try not to focus on how close he is to you as you walk, and you know there’s no reason for him to be since the foot traffic isn’t bad. “Do you have anything else today?” you ask, trying to use conversation as a way to keep your thoughts quiet.

“Yeah, I have a stats class in an hour as well,” he sighs.

“God, I do not miss taking that. I’m glad I’m done with it.”

“Lucky you then,” he jests, nudging you with his shoulder. “I absolutely suck at math, so this won’t be fun.” You open your mouth getting ready to say that you remember that from high school, but you quickly shut it. You don’t need to expose yourself anymore.

“It might not be that bad, you’re given the formulas on the exams anyways.” 

“Well, if I ever have trouble, I know to call you.”

“Right,” you mumble. The conversation thankfully stops without being awkward, but you don’t want to listen to your head right now. There’s so much going on, your brain is trying to process too much, so you try to think about where you’re going to kill time until your next class.

“Are you gonna be getting food again today?” he asks after a while even though you’re not walking anywhere near the student union. Which makes you notice that he’s just been walking wherever you’re going.

You shake your head. “No, I ate a pretty big breakfast today, so I’m just gonna find somewhere to sit while I wait for my next class.” 

“You mind if I join you?” You hesitate for a split second before you answer.

“If you want to,” you say, leaving it at that as you try not to reveal how you’re feeling. But hell, you don’t even know how you’re feeling about this.

You find a place outside since it’s nice and not too hot to sit at, and it’s an equal distance for both of you from your next class. Since you already have assignments due for your classes, you try to get a headstart on it, so you pull out your notes and laptop to get started on that. 

Ukai sits across from you, and it takes everything in you to not look at him. He’s on his phone for a while that you can see from your peripheral, but then he’s on his laptop soon after that. You get into your work, finding a groove, and you’re almost done with most of it when you hear someone call Ukai’s name.

Both of you look up, and your heart drops when your eyes land on the owner of the voice. You quickly put your head down, hoping that your undivided attention on your laptop screen will cause him not to notice you. You swallow heavily as they greet each other, and you look at the time to see that you still have twenty minutes until your class starts.

You try to pack up some of your stuff since you’re done anyway, but then you feel your body run cold when Ukai says your name. “You remember her, right?” You hesitantly look up, and you can feel all of the emotions that you’ve been trying to suppress bubble over.

The guy says your name again in disbelief before recognition goes across his face. “Wow, it is you! I almost didn’t recognize you,” he laughs, and you wait for it. “You aren’t as ugly as you were in high school.” There it is.

You barely smile at him because there’s no way you can laugh that off, and you see Ukai frown deeply, turning to the guy, you start to close your laptop. “I’m gonna head out,” you start, and Ukai tries to stop you, but the guy won’t shut up about how much you’ve changed, calling you the names he called you back then, and you can feel yourself starting to break down.

“Don’t leave,” Ukai says, catching your hand before you can put your stuff in your bag. 

“Yeah, we have to stay and catch up,” the guy buds in, and you know there isn’t a smile on your face when you look at him.

“You can go,” Ukai orders, keeping his hand on yours, and this situation is so awkward and embarrassing, but your body is frozen at Keishin’s words. The guy tries to laugh Ukai’s sudden change in attitude off, not even the slightest put off by him. 

“Come on, man. This is hilarious, no? You remember how much she–”

“I remember how much I wanted to beat your ass,” Ukai states. “Now leave before I do.” You try to keep your breathing even as you look around. No one was around to hear the conversation, but some people are looking as they walk to wherever they are going. The guy stops smiling, looking at Ukai like he’s grown a second head.

“Are you serious right now?” the guy questions incredulously as he looks at you. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling this bitch–”

Ukai is on his feet in a split second, grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt. “You have two seconds to move your ass before I do it for you. You apologize to her now, and I never want to see your face again.” 

Your body is shaking so badly, you feel like you could cry, and you flinch a little when Ukai tightens his grip on his shirt, shaking him just a little. “I’m not playing around here. Apologize. Now.”

“Ukai, it’s okay, he doesn’t have to–” you try, but he doesn’t even look at you, pulling the guy closer to him and nearly off of his feet.

“Yes. He. Does.” 

“Okay, okay. Just chill,” the guy pleads, and Keishin lets his grip loose just a little, but he doesn’t let him go. “I’m sorry, okay?” At this point, you don’t care for his half-assed apology, but the high school part of you is feeling a rush from hearing him say those words.

“Mean it,” he says angrily, and the guy turns to look at you.

“I’m sorry,” he says, but that doesn’t satisfy Ukai.

“For?”

“For messing with you. I’m sorry for what I just said. I was just fucking around in high school, and I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I promise,” he rushes out, and you’d never thought you’d hear that from him. You’re so overwhelmed with emotions right now, that you don’t say anything, but Ukai lets the guy go with a rough shove.

“Get the fuck out of my face,” he hisses, and the guy fixes his shirt, giving Ukai a searing glare, but he walks off without another word. You take a deep breath when he disappears out of sight, and you jump a bit when Ukai’s next to you. “Are you okay? I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m fine,” you breathe, finally looking at Ukai, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so worried. His hands are on your shoulders, and you give him a smile to try and lessen his worries. “I’m fine. I just thought I’d never see him again,” you say with an airy chuckle, and when you start to relax, he lets his hands slide off of you, but you’re still a little frazzled to notice how long they take to leave your body.

Ukai goes to say something, but you check the time on your phone to see that you don’t have a lot of time until your next class. “Oh, we have to go,” you say softly, packing up your stuff. Ukai stands there, watching you, and you turn to him once you have your backpack on your shoulders. “Thanks, Ukai,” you say softly.

“Of course,” he says just as softly, and you return the smile he gives you. “You go on ahead, I’ll see you on Friday.” You nod, walking off, and he watches you go. He sighs as he starts to pack his stuff up. There’s so much he wanted to say to you. 

Maybe next time.

You’re a month into the semester, and your work is already stockpiling. You try to get ahead of it, but it always ends up catching up to you. You’ve piled up on your classes this semester, and you’re starting to hate your past self for doing that. The class you have with Ukai is the only class where the workload isn’t the heaviest, but it still takes a hefty amount of time to do the work for it. 

The readings that you have to read before class have gotten longer, and you just barely have enough time to read them. You’re dragging ass when you get to class on Monday, feeling like you might fall asleep at your desk when you sit down. You’re surprised you managed to even remember bringing all of your stuff for class today, and Ukai sits next to you as you slowly take your stuff out of your bag.

“Rough night?” you barely hear him ask, and it takes you a while to blink, your eyelids feeling like they’re tied to weights.

“Something like that,” you whisper before you rub your eyes. “My workload is a bitch especially with midterms coming up, so I’m not getting a lot of sleep.” You yawn as you rest your chin on your hand. He doesn’t say anything else, and the professor starts talking, but he keeps his eyes on you while she does.

You rub your hand over your face, even drinking water to try and keep yourself awake. You feel like you might cry when she announces that you’re going to be presenting in front of the class about the readings you’re doing. Ukai watches you make a face at her words, and then he notices that you’re still working on things all the while. 

But when the class breaks off to do work, you immediately start talking about the readings that you had to do for the class. He wants to ask about how you’re doing, but he doesn’t think he’ll get the chance. His concern is only fueled when you keep having to stop to think about what you’re saying. He ends up doing most of the work, which he doesn’t mind, and it seems like class flies by in a blur. 

You and Ukai will have to present at least twice this semester, the first presentation being next week, which means you’ll have to get started on your papers now. When class is dismissed, he waits for you to pack up your stuff, and he can tell that you’re really tired especially since you’re not walking as fast as you usually do.

“So, are you going to be free any time to work on this?” he asks you once you’re both walking outside. 

“It’s gonna have to be at the end of the week. I’m gonna try and get as much work done as I can so I can focus on this. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I can make it work.”

“We can try and start on it now while we wait for our next class if you want to,” you offer, and you both find a spot inside this time since it looks like it might rain, which doesn’t help your grogginess. Ukai sits next to you, but you’re too tired to freak out about it. He starts talking about the readings that you have to do, and what you could potentially write about in your paper.

You don’t know if it’s because you’ve chosen a pretty quiet spot, or if it’s his voice, but something starts to put you to sleep. Ukai can see your head bobbing every time you doze off, but he doesn’t say anything, continuing to talk about the material, and while you start to doze off again, he lets his hand gently guide it to his shoulder.

You don’t protest, going without a fight, and he looks down at you, only stopping when he realizes he’s been staring at you too long. He continues working, making sure not to move his arm too much so that he doesn’t wake you, and he opens up another document, typing up stuff that you could add to your paper.

When it’s almost time for you to go, he hesitates to wake you up because you look like you need sleep, but he knows you’d kill him for not waking you up in time for class. He gently shakes you, and you wake up with a start, looking around. You calm down instantly when you look at Ukai, looking at his laptop screen before sighing.

“God, Ukai, I am so sorry,” you say, rubbing your head. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“Don’t sweat it. I wrote down some ideas for you to start with,” he tells you. “I’ll send it to you later. You gotta get to class.” 

“Thank you so much. I owe you.” You don’t have to put your stuff up since you didn’t even get the chance to take anything out, and you stand up, stretching when you stand up fully. You check the time on your phone, putting a little pep in your step since you feel a bit energized as you start to walk away. You turn to wave to him as you leave, and the smile doesn’t leave his face even when you’re gone.

“Should’ve taken a picture,” he mumbles.

~

When you get home, you all but drag yourself to your room. You change your clothes before flopping down on your bed, and sleep is calling your name, but if you go to sleep now, you’ll mess up your schedule. You lift yourself when you hear a knock on your door while you let your roommate know that she can come in.

“Are you getting enough sleep?” she questions the moment she walks in. She sits down at your desk with a feigned stern look, already knowing the answer.

“I’ll try tonight. I just have a lot of work this week. And now I have to write a paper to present with Ukai next week,” you groan, and your roommate raises her eyebrows.

“Ukai? Haven’t heard his name since you mentioned him,” she says. “How’s all that going?”

“It’s going, I guess. I don’t know what you want me to say.” You think about how your head was on his shoulder earlier, and you feel your face start to warm, and your roommate notices the change.

“Yeah, okay. You’re not fooling me. What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing!” you exclaim. “I think,” you add softly, ultimately sighing in defeat, and your roommate moves to sit next to you on your bed, very invested. “I mean, we’ve been hanging on a lot during our breaks in-between classes. And I fell asleep on his shoulder today,” you say, grimacing at the thought.

“So, what? Do you like him or something?”

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I kinda had a crush on him in high school, but it was mostly bittersweet because he was always there whenever I was being messed with. Speaking of, I saw one of the guys a while ago.”

“What?” your roommate says, her mouth open. “What happened?”

“Ukai threatened him and had him apologize to me,” you laugh which you can do now that the situation is behind you.

“Shit, girl, you don’t think he’s into you too, right?”

“No,” you respond quickly with a shake of your head. “There’s no way he likes me now or back then. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Don’t say that,” she tries. “I feel like there might be something there.”

“Maybe,” you say reluctantly. “I just don’t wanna read anything wrong.”

“I don’t think you are. I feel like he might have a thing for you. He has had a thing for you.” You try not to fall too deep into her words, but with the way he’s been acting, it doesn’t sound totally out of the ordinary. “Just keep me updated, I’m invested in your love story now.”

“Don’t call it that!” You shove her playfully as both of you laugh, and she gets off your bed, heading to the door. 

“Don’t stay up too late, okay?” she says before she closes the door. Once it gets quiet, you begrudgingly decide to start on your work, so you move to your desk, starting on your chemistry homework since that’s what’s taking you so much time.

You play some music to help you focus, and you try to get into study mode. Which takes you a lot longer than it should because your head is focused on a certain someone. You groan softly as you let your head fall on your desk. Maybe if you think about it now, it’ll help you focus.

You definitely had some feelings for Ukai back then. You thought he was really cute, he actually is still very much cute. He looks even better now than he did in high school. But you were never confident enough to even start a conversation with him all through high school. You shared the same classes, but you just kept it to yourself. Not even your high school friends knew how you felt about him.

But then those feelings started to fade a bit when the guys he hung out with started to bully you. You mostly felt anger at first, but then it turned to hurt and a little bit of betrayal because the guy you liked wasn’t doing anything to stop what was happening. And then you hated yourself for being a damsel in distress. Once the bullying seemed to die down by the time you were in your last year, you were “over” him.

You didn’t have nearly as many feelings for him, they were still there, but you sort of suppressed them. And then you attempted to get rid of them when you got to college because you were under the notion that you would never see him again. But of course, you had to run into him, and now those feelings are starting to bloom again.

You never once thought that he reciprocated his feelings, and you never talked to him because it seemed like the only time he was going to say something to you was after his friends did, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” you say to yourself, picking up your pencil and trying to get back to where you were. Right as you’re about to start another problem, your phone stops playing music and then your ringtone follows. You pick it up to see who’s calling, and you feel your heart start racing when you see that it’s Ukai.

You were thinking about him, and now he’s calling you. You don’t wait to answer it, putting it on speaker as you set the phone back down. “You cut off my music,” you say lightly, and you bite your lip a little when you hear his laugh come through the phone.

“Sorry. I just wanted to check on you. Making sure you’re giving yourself a break,” he says, and your roommate’s words start to play in your mind.

“I actually haven’t been working for that long,” you say, but then you look at the clock, seeing how much time has passed.

“Really? When did you start?” he questions, and when you go silent, he chuckles again. “Okay, so that means you need to take a break.”

“Okay, fine,” you relent. “Is that all you were calling about?”

“Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice.” You don’t know how to respond to that, his words making you silent again. “I was having trouble focusing so I thought you might be able to help me.”

“And how would I be able to do that?” you ask, trying to calm your racing heart. 

“Don’t know,” he answers, which makes you roll your eyes. “I guess I could try and listen to music like you.”

“You should, it helps.”

“I’d rather talk to you,” he replies almost too fast.

“But I don’t think it’s helping you,” you chuckle. “It just sounds like I’m distracting you.”

“I’m okay with that.” You put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. What is happening right now? 

“So, you called me just to distract you then?” you ask after your quick freak out.

“Yeah,” he answers quickly. “Work doesn’t seem so bad now that I’m talking to you.” 

You can’t help but laugh. “Well, obviously. A lot of people would rather be doing anything else other than work.”

He goes silent for a second, and you’re about to ask him if he’s still there, but he talks before you can. “Am I being too much of a distraction?”

You let a shy smile appear on your face as you shake your head even though he can’t see you. “No, you’re not. I like talking to you,” you say, feeling your face warm.

“Good. I like talking to you too,” he says, and you quietly laugh, but you stop the urge to kick your feet like you’re in high school. Time seems to fly by as you talk to Ukai, and you’re having such a good time that you don’t even notice that it has until your roommate knocks on your door.

“Hey, girl, I was checking on you. You haven’t come out of your room,” she says, peeking her head into your room.

“I’m taking breaks, don’t worry,” you tell her, hoping that she won’t see that you’re on the phone with Ukai. “I’ll probably finish up here soon.” That seems to be enough to convince her because she gives you a smile and a goodnight before she closes the door.

“Sorry, that was my roommate,” you tell him.

“Don’t worry about it. Glad to know you have someone that’s making sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

“Yeah, she’s like my mom,” you laugh.

“I didn’t mean to keep you on the phone this long, you probably got no work done,” he says.

“I actually did. So, talking to you helped after all.”

“Well, you’re welcome,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes. “...I don’t wanna hang up,” he whispers after he goes silent, and in your head, you agree. 

“Well,” you start. “I could call you after I get out of the shower,” you offer, and your eyes dart around to the things on your desk as you wait for his answer.

“Yeah. That sounds good. I’ll be waiting.” 

“Okay, well, I’ll talk to you soon.” You hang up the phone, and you have to get it out, so you do a little happy dance before you calm yourself down. You jump violently when your door burst open.

“I knew you were talking to him!” your roommate yells. “You can’t fool me!”

“Thank you for giving me a heart attack,” you sigh, grabbing your phone and standing up.

“So, what’s going on now? A date?” she presses, and you scoff as you shake your head.

“Absolutely nothing of the sort. I’m getting in the shower,” you say, pushing her out of your room so you can get ready.

“Yeah, okay. You better keep me posted,” she tells you again, and you shake your head before closing the door. 

You shower quickly, washing your face, and brushing your teeth before you get in bed. You wait for a little just in case he might be showering too, and it takes you a while to even call him at that. Your finger hovers over the call button in your recents until you finally press it. It doesn’t even ring twice before he picks up.

“I missed you.”

“It hasn’t even been that long,” you say, a laugh leaving your chest against your will.

“Doesn’t matter,” he tells you softly as you start to get comfortable. “You laying down?”

“Yes, I am. I might fall asleep on you if I’m being honest,” you say, a yawn following right after.

“That’s okay. You need to get your sleep.” 

Ukai ends up doing most of the talking which is fine by him, and he can’t help but smile to himself when he hears your responses turning into soft hums. A part of him wishes he would’ve video called you so that he could see you, but he’ll take this for now. He stops talking once he can hear you softly snoring, but he doesn’t hang up. 

Sleep is right behind him, so he rolls over on his side, getting more comfortable. “Goodnight,” he tells you even though you can’t hear him, and it’s not long until he’s asleep himself.

You had gotten enough work done this week that you had enough time to work on your presentation with Ukai. You decided to meet up at his place this weekend, and you feel so conflicted with yourself as you stand in front of your mirror trying to figure out what to wear.

“Why am I being like this?” you mumble to yourself. You’ve been trying to tell yourself not to worry about it and just put on some clothes, but there’s a part of you that has too much of a say to let you do just that. You’ve put on and taken off so many clothes, the pile on your bed and floor only increasing. 

You don’t have time for this, having only about twenty minutes before you have to get there. Ukai lives pretty close to campus while you have to drive back and forth between your apartment and campus. That’s something you and your roommate hate, so you’re currently looking for a new place for next school year. 

You groan out loud as the voice in your head tells you that you don’t like the outfit you have on. You jump when you hear a knock on your door, and the familiar sight of your roommate peeking her head in fills your eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, but she’s always been good at reading you, and she frowns before pushing the door open further. Her eyebrows crease when she sees that your room looks like your closet exploded. 

“You’re worried about what you’re wearing? You going somewhere special or something?” she questions instantly, but even the question doesn’t give you enough time to come up with a lie, because she quickly puts two and two together. “Don’t tell me you’re going on a date.”

“It’s not a date,” you emphasize. “We’re just working on a presentation we have to do on Monday.”

“Well, where are you meeting him?” she asks, and you look away from her, hesitant to answer. “His place?” she says when you don’t respond, and your reaction to the next question is all she needs to know the answer. “This is news to me! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I knew you were gonna make a big deal about it, and I didn’t wanna psych myself out.”

“Okay, okay. Relax, y/n,” she says, putting her hands on your shoulders. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I won’t make a big deal about it because it isn’t if you think about it. It’s just two people working on a project,” she offers, and that perspective does make you feel better. “It’s only a big deal if you make it, and it’s not like it’s gonna be awkward. You both have been in close proximity before,” she adds, and you admit in your head that she’s right.

“I guess you have a point,” you say, but you’re still looking around at all of the clothes you’ve put on. 

“But, I can help you with an outfit,” she smiles, and you roll your eyes. 

“You just said it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Okay, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dress up a little. You’re going out, why wouldn’t you?” she says, and you chuckle a bit, starting to consider if her words are a contradiction to what she just said, but you let her do it anyway. 

While she’s going through your clothes, you quickly text Ukai to tell him that you’re running a little late, and you can’t help but smile when he responds almost instantly telling you it’s no big deal. Maybe you are overthinking this whole thing. 

“Okay, here ya go.” You look up to see her holding one of your worn t-shirts, and some shorts, but when you look at which ones she’s holding, you put your hands on your hips.

“I am not wearing those shorts,” you tell her, taking the shirt from her and slipping it on. 

“Why not? It’s hot outside, you don’t wanna be sweaty when you get there,” she tries, but you’re not buying it.

“I only wear those around the house,” you argue.

“And you will be around the house! His house,” she says, and you’re starting to realize that you don’t have time for this, but you know that you won’t be able to pick out anything else to wear.

“Fine. I’m only putting them on because I don’t have time,” you say, taking them from her, and she walks out to let you change into them. They’re not that short, but they’re short enough, and seeing that you only have about ten minutes to leave, you can’t waste time debating over what to wear.

You put your shoes on, making sure that you have everything before putting your backpack on. You walk out, tugging on the shorts when you feel like they’re starting to ride up, and you all but glare at your roommate as you walk towards the door. 

“Have fun!” she beams, and you squint your eyes at her.

“Mm-hmm,” you mumble. “I’ll be back later tonight.” You both say goodbye, and you close the door, locking it behind you, putting some pep in your step on your way to your car.

You know where his apartment is, so you make your way over there, and you try to repeat your roommate’s words in your head when you feel yourself starting to get nervous. You know there’s no reason for you to be nervous, but you can’t help it. You know that you’re feelings for him are starting to come back, and there’s a part of you that’s trying to fight it, but so far, suppressing things hasn’t been the easiest thing to do.

Your roommate swears that he’s into you, which doesn’t really help your case, but those words alone are enough to make you sweat. You don’t know how you would feel if he felt the same way. You’ve felt something for him for almost all of high school, and if you think about it, those feelings never really left when you got to college. 

You text him as soon as you park, and he meets you outside of his apartment. “Sorry, I’m running late,” you tell him when you get to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and you follow him into the building and up the stairs to his apartment. You pick at your phone case as you will your heart to stop racing because you know it’s not from taking the stairs. 

You follow him inside, and you look around, taking in the room. He mentioned having a roommate, but he said he wouldn’t be here while you guys were working. You take your shoes off once you get in, and you see that he already has everything set up on the dining table. It almost has the same layout as your apartment except it’s much nicer. In the back of your head, you think to mention this place to your friend and see if she’d like it.

“Okay, so I’ve already finished my paper, but I wanted you to read over it just to make sure that ours don’t overlap,” he says when he sits down. 

You sit down in the chair next to him, taking your backpack off so that you can get your laptop out. “That sounds good, but I’ll admit I haven’t written most of it,” you admit shyly, and he waves you off.

“That’s okay. It shouldn’t take you that long anyway,” he reassures, and you pull up the half-written document. You read over his, and you’re relieved that he ended up talking about something completely different from yours. You tell him what you want to talk about for your presentation, and he helps you out by pulling up the reading and offering what parts of it you could pull from. 

Writing your paper takes about an hour, and then you both work on the PowerPoint slides you have to have with questions to ask the class about the readings. Your stomach grumbles suddenly once you’re finishing up, and that’s when you remember that you forgot to eat while you were panicking about what to wear.

“Sorry,” you laugh, and he laughs under his breath.

“I’m getting hungry too,” he says. “There are places around here that we could eat at if you’re okay with that.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that.” You both put your shoes on, and you follow him out onto the street, and there’s a bunch of places that are within walking distance where you could eat. You don’t care where to eat, so you agree on the first place that he offers. You’ve never been there before, but Ukai reassures you that it’s good. You both talk about anything and everything as you walk to the place, and when you get inside, it’s super packed.

“I guess it is dinner time,” he says as he takes the place in. “We can just take it to-go if that’s okay with you?” he offers, and you nod, in no mood to oppose as you look at how many people are in here. Ukai orders first, and instead of paying, he turns to you. “What do you want?” he asks, and you tell him, but then he’s repeating your order to the person at the register, and you realize what he’s doing.

“Ukai, you don’t have to pay,” you try, but he just shrugs you off. You try to memorize the price as you both move to the side while you wait for your food. “I’ll pay you back.”

“Seriously, y/n. Don’t worry about it,” he tells you again, but you don’t look very convinced. “How about you pay me back by helping me with my stats homework?”

“That doesn’t sound like a fair trade.”

“It does to me. I didn’t do well on the first exam, and I need some serious help,” he explains, and you decide that he’s not going to let you pay him back, so you give up.

“Fine. I’ll help you out then.” The smile he gives you makes your heart flutter, and you don’t get much time to take in how you feel because your food is ready. 

You walk back to his apartment, and you silently thank your friend for picking out shorts because even though the sun is starting to go down, the air is still really warm. You aren’t walking that fast, so luckily you’re not a sweating mess when you get back to his apartment. 

You push your work aside so that you can eat at the table, and he puts on a show that he’s been watching for a while. You’ve never seen it, and when you tell him, he looks at you like you’ve offended him terribly. He starts the show over for you, and it seems like a pretty good show, and you make a note of the name so you can continue to watch it. 

You finish eating in the middle of the first season, and you both move to the couch so you can finish it. Ukai tells you that he’ll start on the work once it’s over, and you wonder if he actually means that. Your focus on the show starts to waver when you notice how close he’s sitting to you. He’s wearing shorts, so when his leg brushes against yours, it sends goosebumps across your skin. You try to pay attention because you don’t want to miss anything, but it’s even more difficult when he places his arm on the back of the couch behind you.

You don’t think it’s a cliche move because you look at him from the corner of your eye, and he’s completely engrossed in the show even though he’s seen it probably a million times. You realize how tense you are, and you try to relax, but that means you’d be relaxing into him, and you don’t want to make anything awkward. 

You decide to rub over your arms since it’ll keep you from touching him. “Are you cold?” he asks, and you turn your head to him quickly.

“No, no. I’m fine,” you say with a shake of your head, and you quickly turn back to the TV, but you can see him looking over you, so you put your hands on your lap. He finally follows your gaze, and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

The last episode of the season plays, and Ukai groans loudly. “Guess I have to do my homework now,” he says to your surprise. You guess he was serious about actually doing his work. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” you ask, standing up and feeling relieved that you’re not sitting directly next to him anymore.

“Yeah, my room’s right there,” he says, pointing at the right door. He’s been fighting it since you got here, but he watches you walk away, and his eyes slide up your legs. He can see some of your ass peeking out from your shorts before you pull them down, and he sighs softly to himself as he diverts his eyes. 

He turns his head quickly before he stands and turns the TV off. He sits down at the table while he gets his stuff out, and he hears you come back into the room. You sit down next to him, and he shows you one of the problems that he’s struggling with. You move your seat closer to his so that you don’t have to lean over, and he immediately thinks about how good you smell.

He noticed when he was sitting next to you, and that’s when he also noticed that he had put his arm behind you. He didn’t move his arm because he didn’t want it to be awkward, but he had to strongly fight the urge to pull you into him. He felt his hair stand up on end whenever he accidentally brushed against you, and the entire time he thought about if he should say something to you.

“Keishin.” His eyes snap to yours, realizing that he was just staring at his notebook. “Are you okay?” you ask softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I just got lost in thought,” he says, giving a smile so that he doesn’t have to explain that he was daydreaming about you.

“Don’t worry about the exam. I’m sure you’ll do fine.” 

“Of course, I will. I have you to help me,” he says, thankful that you think he’s stressed about the exam. His smile widens when yours does, and he feels so much right now that he almost opens his mouth, but then you’re turning your attention back to the work. So, he clears his thoughts and decides to focus on his work too.

He’s relieved when he realizes that he’s not doing as bad as he thought, he was just having some trouble remembering when to do what. You have him go over it multiple times, and it helps, and when you think he’s ready, you have him try some practice problems.

He’s definitely nervous to try them out, but your reassurance is what gets him to try them. You busy yourself with some other classwork, and he’s grateful because he doesn’t know what he’d be able to do if you were watching him. He makes sure to check over his work, even putting his work through the calculator more than once to make sure that he’s getting the same answer as before.

He lets you know that he’s finished, and his professor added the answers to the questions, so you look over his work and the answers. He fiddles with his pencil in nervousness and anticipation as he watches you check. It feels like it takes forever and it almost kills him, but then you finally look up at him.

“You did really well! There’s a couple that you messed up on, but other than that, I’d say that you’d got this stuff down.” He takes a breath of relief, running his hand down his chest as he leans back in his seat.

“Thank God,” he breathes. 

“You just have to trust yourself. You know what you’re doing, just don’t get nervous,” you tell him. “I know when I do that, I end up freaking myself out so much that I start to forget things.”

“Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s definitely not something I understood at first, so I’m happy to help.” At your words, for some reason, he feels like you might be about to leave, and he selfishly doesn’t want that to happen.

“Do you mind checking over my work again? I wanna go through some more just in case,” he tries, and he tightens his grip on his pencil, hoping you say yes.

“Of course. While you’re working, I’m getting work done too, so it’s a win-win,” you answer, and he’s never felt more elated. He nods, getting to work on more problems, and you switch your attention back to the work you were doing. 

You get up to go to the bathroom again, and you stretch when you do, and Ukai’s eyes catch on your shorts again. He diverts his eyes as soon as you walk out of his line of sight, and he shakes his head. Focus. He sighs, getting back on track, and finishes the problem with ease. He gets to the next one though, and he’s stuck.

He tries to do it himself, but when he feels like he’s not doing something right, he stops so that he doesn’t get too far ahead of himself. Luckily, you come back when he stops, so he asks you right before you sit back down.

“I just wanna make sure I’m starting this right,” he says, and you put your hand on the back of his chair before you lean down to see what he’s doing. You lean down a little bit more to look at his work, and he holds the urge to flinch when your shirt brushes against his ear. He takes a deep breath in, your scent filling his nose, and he desperately wants to know what it is. 

He thinks it might be like shea butter or something but before he can get a chance to investigate further, you break him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, you’re fine. Looks good to me,” you say, and he makes the mistake of turning to look up at you.

He was going to say something, but the words die in his throat when he looks at your face. He gets lost in your eyes and the curve of your lips, and he can’t look away. He looks back at your eyes, and to his surprise, you’re looking at his lips too. He has half a mind to just say fuck it and lean in, but then he feels you rub at his back.

“Have more confidence in yourself, Keishin,” you say, smiling at him before you move to sit back down. He’s glad that there doesn’t seem to be any awkward air between the two of you, and he realizes that his heart is racing when he looks back at his work. It feels like the motion of your hand rubbing his back is burned into his skin, and he would give anything to feel it again.

Ukai yawns as he finishes the last of the problems, and he passes the notebook to you. He rubs over his eyes as you look over them, and it doesn’t take you long to look through them. “You did great. You got all of them right,” you say with a yawn.

“I guess we better call it a night,” he says around a laugh that you copy, but then he looks at the time. “Shit, I didn’t mean to keep you here so late.”

You blink sleepily as you yawn again, looking at the time. “Oh, God. I didn’t even know I was here for that long,” you hum.

He once again doesn’t want you to leave. “You can sleep here for the night if you want, I’ll sleep on the couch,” he offers, and at the same time, you look like you could fall asleep any minute now.

“I couldn’t take your bed,” you try, but you end up yawning again.

“Seriously. It’s the least I could for keeping you here so long.” He’s really tired himself. He woke early this morning to make sure that his apartment was spotless. He’s never done so much cleaning, but he won’t tell you that.

Surprisingly, you don’t put up much of a fight, but he can’t really blame you. “Alright,” you say. “Do you have an extra toothbrush?” 

“Yeah, of course. Just let me use the bathroom first,” he answers, and you give him a nod, turning to your work to finish it up. He mildly panics when he gets to his room because he didn’t think about changing his sheets. He quickly uses the bathroom, brushing his teeth after, and tries his hardest to change his sheets as fast as he can. 

He’s nearly sweating by the end of it, but he can proudly say that he set a record for himself. He kicks the dirty sheets into his closet before grabbing the toothbrush and setting it on the bathroom counter. If you noticed that he was gone for so long, you don’t question it, which he’s grateful for even though he prepared a lie just in case. 

“My room’s all yours,” he jokes, and you can’t help but laugh before you stand. You yawn again as you stretch, and Ukai finally fights the urge to look over your body again. 

“Are you sure it’s okay if I sleep in your room? I can sleep on the couch, I don’t mind.”

“Yes, it’s fine. You look more tired than me right now. I’ll be fine,” he says, and you give him a sleepy smile that only strengthens his words. 

“Well, thanks. Goodnight, Keishin.”

“Goodnight,” he echoes, and there’s a part of him that’s ecstatic that he gets to say it to you in person, and he ignores the pang in his chest that he can’t be laying next to you as he says it. You walk to his room, and he watches until you softly close the door. He already grabbed a pillow from his bed before he walked out, so he throws that onto the couch.

He has a blanket on the couch, so he lays down, throwing it over himself and he tries to get comfortable. This couch isn’t the most comfortable, and he’s fallen asleep on it before, but there was no way he was going to ask you if you wanted to share a bed with him. He finds himself thinking about what would’ve happened if you had said yes.

His thoughts start to derail right after that, and he groans before deciding to turn on the TV. It’s the only way he’ll be able to keep his thoughts at bay. He turns the volume down, and he puts on a show that he can fall asleep to. Of course, it only works for so long. He hasn’t heard you say his first name at all. Today was the first time, and he can’t help but smile widely at the thought. 

He always wanted to say something to you in high school, but you never gave him the time of day. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t blame you at all. His friends weren’t kind to you at all, and he doesn’t even think he would call them friends. His real friends were in different classes with him, and he really only hung with them after school or on the weekends.

There were times that he told them to stop messing with you, and they took it as him having a crush on you, which was very much true, but he didn’t want that getting out, so he kept his mouth shut. Seeing you again and spending so much time with you has made him realize how stupid he was. He was more worried about himself than you, someone that he really liked, and he hates himself every time he thinks about it.

He hopes one day he’ll get the courage to tell you everything. Right now, he’s more than content with having what he has with you, and he doesn’t want to say anything to ruin that. He definitely wants to come clean about high school, there’s no doubt about it. But there is doubt if you’ll even talk to him after he reveals everything.

He plays back your first interaction in his head every night before he goes to sleep. At first, it kept him up at night. You had every right to act as you did towards him, and he tried to play it cool while he was with you, but after you left, he felt like total shit. He put his number in your phone to see how you would react, and he was more than relieved when you kept talking to him.

As he starts to fall asleep, he thinks about what he’s going to say to you. He hopes that when he finally gets the confidence and the chance, he won’t mess it up. He tries to rehearse it in his head, but he falls asleep as soon as he starts.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep, but as he starts to wake up, he hears a familiar voice. “Dude, why are you sleeping on the couch? Get in your bed.” He recognizes that it’s his roommate, but that’s about all he can register. He was a lot more tired than he thought. 

He groggily makes his way to his room, and even in the dark, he can easily locate his bed, like it’s calling to him. He sheds his shirt and nearly sighs in comfort at the relief he feels when his body hits the bedsheets. He notices that he can’t stretch out like he wants to, but he’s starting to fall asleep, so he doesn’t worry about it that much. His bed also isn’t cold like it should be, but he gladly accepts the warmth, wrapping his arm around the pillow, and it takes no time for him to fall back asleep.

Ukai notices that the sun is peeking through the blinds as he starts to wake up. He takes a deep breath in, and he swears his nostrils fill with your scent, but this time he’s getting something different. Mango, maybe? He leans further into it, taking another deep breath, and whatever the source may be is soft against his face. He could stay here forever.

He tightens his arm around his pillow, settling in again as the smell starts to put him back to sleep. But he frowns when he faintly notices that his pillow is moving. He slowly opens his eyes, and his heart drops when he realizes that it hasn’t been a pillow all along. His eyes widen when he sees you laying in his arm, and his heart begins to race. 

You’re looking right at him, but there’s nothing that can come out of his mouth. You’re just waking up too, and you blink a bit, but there’s no hint of surprise on your face. “Keishin?” you whisper, and he never thought his name could sound so good coming from you.

“Y-Yeah,” he mumbles, and he can feel his face warm at his stuttering, but he gives himself a break because he’s just waking up. You roll over so that your back is fully against the bed, and you rub over your eyes. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s only nine-thirty,” he says after he looks at his clock, and you groan softly.

“God, that is too early for a weekend.” He smiles at your sleepy state, and he can’t take his eyes off of you. You raise your arm over your head to stretch, and he notices that your shirt rises, and he can’t help but let his eyes trail down your body. His breath catches in his throat when he sees how high your shorts have ridden up, and there’s only one thing on his mind.

His eyes cut towards you when you call his name again, and he’ll blame his tired brain later, but he leans down closer to you. “Am I dreaming?” he questions, and his hand is itching to touch you, so he carefully puts his hand on your face.

“I don’t think so,” you whisper, and he can barely hear it over the blood pumping in his ears. He glances down at your lips when you lick over them, and there’s no way he’s going to be able to stop himself now.

“Good.” When you don’t make any move to pull away, he takes the opportunity to press his lips to yours. He sighs at how soft your lips are, and he only gets more eager when you kiss him back. You said he wasn’t dreaming, but this sure feels like he is. He pulls away only for a second, missing the feeling of your lips almost the instant he does.

He goes in for another, and you let your arm loosely loop around his neck as you meet him halfway. He groans when you deepen the kiss as you roll over onto your side, and he grabs your leg, putting it over his body. He’s borderline frantic to feel every part of you, and he lets his hand run up your leg, his fingers just barely getting under your shorts.

You move in closer to him, so he allows himself to let his hands drift up further, and your shorts have moved up so high, that they barely get in the way of him feeling even more of your ass. You moan when he pulls back with your lip in between his teeth, and he’s never felt so hot. He stops for a second to look at you, and your heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard in the room.

Your lips are swollen from his kisses, and your pupils are blown wide as you look up at him, and he thought there was no way you could get any prettier, but right now, you’re proving him wrong again. “Fuck,” he breathes before he leans back in, rolling the both of you over while keeping your leg in his hand.

Your hands rub all over his chest, and you run your hands up his back, and he shudders at the motions, goosebumps rising all over as blood rushes straight to his dick. Your arms find their place around his neck, and he abandons his hold on your leg in favor of letting his weight press into you.

He pulls away to quickly pull your shirt off, and you easily let your upper half lift off the bed so he can do so. His movements slow when his eyes land on your chest, your boobs are basically falling out of the bralette you’re wearing, and his brain short circuits. He can’t think about anything else, and he swallows heavily when you pull the straps down, fully exposing yourself to him.

He lets your shirt fall next to you, and like he’s in a trance, his hands reach up to squeeze at the underside of the fat, and he wants to pinch himself. There’s no way he’s really doing this with you, but he’ll worry about this being a dream later. He kisses you again, feeling like that’s the only way he can regulate his breathing right now as he continues to fondle your tits. 

He kisses down your neck, feeling like he might go crazy as he kisses over your chest before he slips one of your nipples in his mouth. He moans when you do, his name slipping from your lips as your hands slip into his hair. He ruts against you, and he’s definitely drooling as he sucks at your chest, but he doesn’t even care.

You pull him back to your face, and he kisses you sloppily, your legs wrapping around his torso when he grinds even harder against you. “K-Kei,” you keen, and he rests his forehead against yours, his pleasure becoming too much for him to continue to kiss you. You arch into him, and he swears when your chest pushes into his. He’s definitely close to cumming, feeling his pleasure start to mount in his spine, and he digs into his teeth into whatever part of your skin he can reach to try and hold himself back as he pulls at your shorts.

Right as he does though, his burst open, scaring the both of you. Ukai quickly falls on his side to hide you, and he looks over his shoulder to see his roommate standing in the doorway. “What?!” he barks, and the guy holds his hands up.

“Sorry, dude,” he laughs before quickly walking back out, slamming the door when he leaves. Ukai doesn’t even want to look at you, the air now becoming awkward in the silence. He slowly turns his head towards you, and when he makes eye contact, you can’t help but laugh. He internally sighs in relief as he laughs with you, and yours dies down when your phone starts ringing.

He hands it to you, and you give him a small smile as you answer it. He doesn’t listen to the conversation because he’s too busy looking at you. His eyes stay on your lips while you talk before they trail down to your chest, and he can see the marks he left on you which causes him to twitch in his shorts.

“Sorry, I totally forgot. I’m leaving right now.” That makes him look up at you, and you hang up the phone, taking a while to meet his eyes. “I forgot I had plans with my roommate today. That was her,” you tell him, and he pushes down the disappointment that he feels, and he thinks that he hears it in your voice; at least he hopes so.

“No, that’s okay. I should probably see what my friend wanted,” he responds, and you quietly grab your clothes and put them back on. He moves over so that you can get out of bed to get to the bathroom, and he releases a heavy breath through his mouth when the door closes.

He runs a hand through his hair as he tries to think about what in the fuck got into him, and he wills his hard-on to go away. He gets off his bed, sliding his shirt on right as you open the door, and he goes in after you. He doesn’t even try to look at himself in the mirror while he brushes his teeth, and when he walks back out, you’re standing by his bed, looking at your phone.

You look up at him when he walks into the room, and he pulls his shirt down to cover himself. “Sorry, I have to leave so suddenly,” you say, and he waves you off.

“It’s okay. We got a lot of work done yesterday, so it’s all good.” You give him a little nod, and he quickly decides to walk towards the door so things don’t get awkward. You follow him out of his room, and his roommate is sitting on the couch when you walk out. He looks over his shoulder just as your grabbing your backpack.

“Sorry for interrupting earlier,” he laughs. “I’m Takinoue.”

Ukai glares at him as you feel your face warm. “Nice to meet you. I’m y/n,” you say softly, and Ukai’s eyes widen when Takinoue’s does.

“Wait, you’re y/n? The girl that–”

“She really has to go, so end of the introduction,” Keishin rushes out, and he pushes you towards the door. While you’re slipping your shoes on, Ukai smacks his friend on the back of the head, but before he can turn around, he’s already slipping his shoes on and walking with you out the door. 

Neither of you speaks as he walks you to your car, and he doesn’t know what to say when you finally get there. “Uh, thanks again for the help last night. I really appreciate it,” he eventually says.

“You’re welcome. Just let me know if you need any more help,” you tell him, and that reassures him a bit that maybe you didn’t hate what you both did earlier. But now, he doesn’t whether to wave, hug you, or kiss you. He definitely wants to do the last one; his hands are itching to touch you again, but he doesn’t know if you’d be okay with that.

You break him out of his thoughts when you take a step closer to him and kiss his cheek. His world seems to stop when you do, and you pull away, having a hard time holding his gaze. “See you on Monday, Keishin.”

He’s too dazed to respond, barely remembering you getting in the car, and the next thing he knows, you’re driving away. He doesn’t jump out of it until your car is long out of his sight, and when he finally does, he smiles widely against his will. He softly touches his cheek, and he doesn’t lose the smile on his face as he walks back to his apartment.

But it drops the moment he opens the door and sees his friend’s smug smile. “You weren’t gonna tell me that you’re sleeping with the girl that you’ve been pining over since high school?” he questions, and you Ukai shakes his head as he rolls his eyes.

“We’re not sleeping together, okay? We were just working on a project last night.”

“For what class? Anatomy?” he jokes, and it actually makes him laugh.

“Ha! Good one,” he muses. “But we finished really late, so I let her take the bed. That’s why I was on the couch.” He rubs his hand down his face as he sighs, but it doesn’t take long for him to smile again.

“Well, it looks like you should’ve just taken the bed anyway. You look like a lovesick puppy.”

“Fuck you,” he retorts with no heat behind it, but it’s not like he can deny it. He’s still not sure if he’s dreaming or not, and in the back of his head, he’s waiting for himself to wake up. 

“So, what happens now? Are you actually gonna confess to her? You’ve only been waiting for this moment for like, five years.” He hates how he still can’t answer that question. With the way everything is going, he’s thinking that it’ll be better to not tell you the truth, but on the other hand, he wants to come clean to you and tell you everything. And Takinoue’s right, he’s been waiting for a miracle, and it’s finally here.

He thought he would jump at the opportunity, but with the first interaction he had with you, he held back. “I don’t know,” he eventually says.

“Don’t stress it too much, man. As far as I’m concerned, it looks like she feels the same way,” he says, with a hard clap on his back that makes him stumble forward a bit, and it definitely feels intentional. At least now he knows he’s not dreaming. “And that also explains why the apartment was spotless when I got home. Now where’d you put my shit?” he asks, and Ukai lets himself drop his dilemma for now.

~

When you get home, you close the door behind you and let your back fall against the door. Even if what happened with Ukai was long ago, your heart is still racing just thinking about it. You don’t know what came over either of you, but there’s not a single bone in your body that hated it. You rub your fingers over your lips as your mind starts to replay the events in your head.

You jump when your roommate opens her door, and you quickly stand up. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” you say. “It was really late, so I just slept over at his place since I was so tired.” You try to school your expression so that she doesn’t pick up on anything, and you hope the look on your face is convincing enough.

“So, did anything happen?”

“Ah, no. We just worked on our presentation, it was pretty uneventful,” you say, and to be honest, you’re a little bit embarrassed to admit to her what happened. Maybe it’s because you’re still reeling from it. “Just let me hope in the shower, and I’ll be ready to go.”

Surprisingly, she lets you walk past her without saying anything else, and when you get to your room after closing the door, the events of this morning start to hit you. You go from sitting in shock to flailing in one spot just to get it out of you. You take a deep breath, composing yourself before you get in the shower.

Your shower takes a little longer than you anticipated because your thoughts keep running from you in all the wrong ways. You throw some cold water on your face when you get out, telling yourself to get it together. You get dressed, and your friend is waiting at the dining table for you when you walk out.

She looks up from her from, and her words die in her throat when she looks at you. You frown when her smile disappears, and she points an accusing finger at you. “You bitch! You lied to me!” she yells, and you’re still very much confused until you look down at your chest where she’s pointing. Your eyes widen and you feel your face warm when you see hickeys all over your chest. 

You don’t know how you didn’t notice until now, but thanks to the low-cut shirt you’re wearing, you almost showed everyone what you were up to this morning. “Um…” you say weakly, covering your chest with your hands. “I’ll go change and we can get out of here,” you try, but you don’t even get to take a step back before she speaks.

“Absolutely not, missy. You sit your ass right here and tell me everything.” You sigh, knowing that she’s going to get it out of you sooner or later, and you sit down across from her. She looks so invested, resting her hands on her face as she leans forward. “So, did you guys sleep together?”

“No,” you start with a shake of your head before you shrug. “Well, kinda. It was really late, and I was tired, so he said I could sleep in his bed. When I woke up, he was there, and…stuff happened.”

“What happened?! Tell me everything!” she presses, and your face gets even hotter just thinking about it.

“We just made out,” you eventually say. “His roommate walked in, so it didn’t go much further than that.” Honestly, you don’t know what you would’ve done if his roommate hadn’t interrupted. You probably would’ve done anything with him at that moment.

“So, how was it?” she presses.

“It was really good,” you gush, a laugh rushing out of your chest. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever done,” you add, feeling how hot your face is when you put your hands on it.

“I bet,” your roommate laughs. “I can see that you’re flustered from here.” You can’t help but laugh again, putting your hands over your face and sighing. “So, what’s your relationship now?”

“I don’t know. We really didn’t talk about it. Like I said, it was just a kinda spur-of-the-moment thing.”

“Well, I’m getting that it means you’re admitting your feelings for him,” she responds, and move your hands to look at her.

“I’m scared too,” you answer honestly. “I don’t wanna say that, and then he pulls a complete one-eighty on me.”

“That’s understandable, but truthfully, I don’t think he’s the same guy he was in high school. From what you’ve been telling me, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to do that to you.” You let her words bounce around in your head, both of you going silent as you think.

“Maybe,” you say after a while.

“Have some faith, girl. I bet he likes you a lot more than you like him.” Her words make you smile, and then she stands up. “Alright, we need to get a move-on if we want to make it to this thrifting event on time.”

“You were the one who wanted me to tell you about what happened,” you say after you scoff. 

“Well, it was only natural. You tell me it was uneventful, but you have hickeys on your chest? I’d be crazy not to ask,” she counters, and she has a point because you would do the same thing if the tables were turned.

You go back into your room to change your shirt, and then you’re walking out the door with your roommate, putting your situation with Ukai to the side for a while.

Monday rolls around faster than you’d like, and you spend all morning thinking about how the conversation with Ukai will go. You’re not dreading it, you’re just more worried about if your conversation will be awkward or not. You get to class pretty early since you woke up early, and you listen to your music as you wait for Ukai to get here.

You pull up the paper that you have to present while you wait, and you read over it just in case. There’s no point in making any changes since you had to submit it to your professor before class, but you still want to go over it anyway. You freeze for a split second when you see Ukai sit down next to you in your peripheral, and you slide your headphone off your head, but you don’t look his way.

“Morning,” you hear him say, and you turn to him, having a hard time keeping your smile small.

“M-Morning.” You pick at the corner of your laptop as you internally roll your eyes at how nervous you are.

“Listen,” he starts, leaning towards you and lowering his voice. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday–”

“No, it’s okay,” you say, cutting him off. “It was–I, um…I liked it,” you whisper, and there’s no way you can look him in the eyes after saying that. Both of you jump when the professor announces for you to start your presentation. 

Thankfully, it goes off without a hitch, the only thing is, you started to notice about halfway through your paper that someone’s glaring at you. You couldn’t figure out who it was while you were reading, but when you start to ask the class questions, you realize it was the girl that tried to talk to Ukai a while ago.

You try not to let it affect you, but you have no idea why she’s staring you down. You don’t know if Ukai notices her too, but before you know it, it’s all over. You sigh quietly in relief when the professor says that class is over, and you both pack up your stuff. You notice that Ukai is walking way closer to you when you walk out of class, and you feel sparks go up your arm every time his hand brushes against yours.

“I’d say we did pretty good,” he says while you both walk.

“Yeah. She seemed really happy with our questions. I have you to thank for that, though. You did most of the work,” you respond.

“I’d say it was pretty even,” he jokes, and you can’t help but laugh. “Our usual spot?” he asks, and you nod even though the both of you are already walking that way. 

The area you usually sit in is pretty empty when you get there, and you and Ukai both sit where you usually do. You sit next to him, but there’s no way you can get any work done. Even though it’s quiet, the air between you is stiflingly filled with attraction. 

Since you’re not going to get any work done, you carefully lay your head on his shoulder, and you bite your lip to hide your smile when he wraps his arm around you. “You gonna nap?” he asks, you nod as you press further into him.

“Yeah, I’m gonna try.” You turn your face to press it into his shoulder, and you close your eyes as you breathe him in. He smells so good, and it’s nearly too late when you start to realize that you’re getting warm all over. You will yourself to calm down, but there’s no way you’re going to be able to go to sleep, so you keep your eyes open, focusing on what work he’s doing every now and then.

When you feel yourself starting to go to sleep, it’s too late because you feel him shaking you gently to let you know that you have to get to class. He gets up after you do, and you wait for him to put his stuff in his backpack before you leave. When he stands, he’s nearly in your space, but you make no move to step back. You actually want to step closer to him, but you have to remind yourself that you’re not alone.

You look around, and you see that you are, but there’s no way you’d be bold enough to do anything in public anyway. You both look at each other for a second before you move to kiss him on the cheek again. It’s the only thing you bring yourself to do right now. “I’ll see you later,” you whisper when you step back, but you don’t even get a chance to turn around.

He grabs your wrist softly, pulling you into him with his hand on the back of your neck. His lips meet yours for a hungry kiss, and you can’t help but melt into him, and suddenly you’re forgetting about being in public. You’re dazed when you pull away, your breathing ragged as you let your fingers softly touch your lips.

You look around again, and when the coast is clear, you move towards him again, and he holds you closer to him as he deepens the kiss. Fuck, he’s such a good kisser. Every single one makes you feel like you’re floating, but he pulls away the moment you moan. “You should go,” he breathes, his hands resting on your hips. “Cause if you don’t, I won’t be able to let you go.”

You give him a shaky nod, and it seems like it takes forever for you to step back from him, and you nearly don’t, deciding that class isn’t so important anymore. But you really should go. His hands slip from your hips when you move, and it takes everything in you to walk away from him. You give him a small wave, hightailing out of there before you can change your mind.

Turns out, you should’ve just stayed with him because you reply the kiss over and over in your head the whole class period.

~

“Hey, are you doing anything Friday?” your friend asks, and you look up from your homework.

“No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“Cause my team’s having a mixer, and I can bring a plus-one, and you need to get out. You’ve been studying all week,” she says, and you roll your eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know any of your teammates,” you tell her, and she waves you off.

“Just bring your boyfriend. It’ll be fun.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you yell, but she’s already walking to her room. 

She has a point though. You’ve been nothing but working all week, and the only time you’ve seen Keishin is during class, which always leads to a heated kiss that has you wanting more. Even when you look back down at your work, you don’t want to think about it anymore, so you decide to take the offer.

You text Ukai about it, and he instantly agrees. You start to feel nervous just thinking about it, especially since you don’t attend things like this very often. You’ve been to a few due to your friend’s outgoing nature, but sometimes you just like to be at home watching your favorite show. But, maybe it won’t be so bad since Ukai will be with you.

When Friday rolls around, you’re waiting on your friend to finish getting ready, so you’re sitting on the couch. You offered to drive since you won’t be drinking that much anyway, and you stand when you hear her heels clicking on the floor behind you. “Why are you wearing that?” she asks, and you look down at your outfit.

“What’s wrong with it? I thought you’d like that I’m wearing a dress,” you muse, even though you’re going to be tugging on it all night. It hugs your body way more than you’d like, but you bought it on a whim and you’ve barely worn it. 

“I’m talking about the jacket.”

“What’s wrong with the jacket? It’s gonna get cold tonight,” you tell her, genuinely not understanding what she’s getting at.

She rolls her eyes before she plants her hands on her hips. “You can’t show up with a jacket. Now, he can’t give you one.” You instantly understand what she means, and you can’t help but scoff.

“Are you seriously telling me to ditch the jacket just so Ukai will give me his?”

“Uh, duh. Why else would I be telling you this?” You don’t have much of a choice because she pulls it off of you, throwing it on the couch. You don’t have time to protest because even in heels, she’s moving out of the door quickly. 

You must be here early because parking isn’t absolute shit yet, and you can feel your nerves start to hit you as you walk up to the house. When you get inside, you quickly realize that this is nowhere near a mixer; it’s a full blown party. Your friend guides you to the kitchen, handing you a drink once she gets there, and her friends find her almost instantly.

They talk to you for a while, and you check your phone to see that Ukai just texted you. Your friend waits for him to get there before she leaves with her friends, and you both find a corner to occupy as the music pounds in your head. “This isn’t really your thing, is it?” He has to lean down to ask you, and you shake your head as you move your hand side-to-side.

“Not really, but my friend thought I should get out since I’ve been studying all week.” 

“She sounds like a good friend,” he yells back, and that makes you laugh.

“When she wants to be, yeah.” The room’s starting to fill up, so you grab his hand to find somewhere else to go. You decide to just step outside since they’re playing music that you don’t really listen to. “Did you drive here?” you ask, finally relieved that you can hear yourself think.

“Yeah. I have a friend that’s on the team, so I’m the designated driver tonight.”

“So am I,” you say, taking a sip of the seltzer, and you offer it to him. He takes a swig before he puts the drink down on the half-brick wall that you’re sitting on.

“Are you not cold?” he asks, gesturing to your body, and you nod your head quickly.

“Oh, I definitely am. My friend told me to ditch the jacket though.” He gives you a questioning look, and you chuckle a bit before you explain. “She said if I ditch the jacket, you would give me yours,” you explain. “You don’t have to though,” you add, but he’s already sliding it off, and your eyes land on his arms which look like they might rip the sleeves of his shirt.

He puts it on you, and it’s so warm that you can’t help but curl into the warmth. You stick your arms in the sleeves, and he moves closer to you. You stand so that you can make your way in between his legs, and his hands land on your hips. 

“You look good tonight,” he comments, and you hum as you put your hands on his shoulders.

“Yeah?”

He nods. “Especially in my jacket,” he adds, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer to him.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you question, and he grabs both sides of his jacket in one hand to pull you down to him. 

“I’ll show you,” he whispers against your lips before he kisses you firmly, and you gladly let your weight fall on him. He easily catches you as you move your arms to hang over his shoulders. He keeps one of his arms wrapped around you while the other falls so that he can trail his hand up your leg. You know the goosebumps that rise on your skin aren’t from the cold because your body starting to heat up and he’s barely started kissing you.

His fingers start to reach under the hem of your dress, and it feels so teasing to you that it makes you leak onto your panties. You’re glad you’re in the backyard because you would be embarrassed otherwise at how easily he’s pulling all kinds of sounds from you. He sucks on your tongue, and you’re pretty sure you would let him do anything to you right now.

He groans when you pull at his hair, and his fingers dig into the fat of your ass as his fingers start to inch further up your dress. You jump away from him quickly when someone yells your name, and you look up to see a girl walking up to you. You recognize her as one of your friend’s teammates, and she carefully steps outside, but Ukai doesn’t let you go.

That’s also when you realize that people could see you from inside since the curtains to the backdoor are wide open, but you don’t have time to think about that because she starts talking to you. “We’re playing seven minutes in heaven. You have to play!”

“O-Oh, I don’t know about that–” She cuts you off with a rough yank of your hand that nearly tips you over, and you grab Ukai’s hand also since there’s no way you’re stopping her. She pulls you upstairs, and you all walk into a room that’s filled with people but not as many downstairs. There’s music playing in here, and when she closes the door, the music blasting downstairs is severely muffled.

She pulls you into the circle, and you quickly fix your dress when you sit down to make sure you don’t flash anybody. “God, it’s like she didn’t stop,” you breathe, turning to Ukai when he sits down next to you.

“Yeah, that’s for sure.”

“I’m sure we can just sneak out of here in like, five minutes,” you say, but it’s too late because someone stands up and starts talking. You look around the room, and you start to feel uneasy when you see the same guy that Ukai nearly beat up. He barely spares either of you a glance, and you definitely feel uneasy when you see the girl that shares the same class with the both of you.

She makes eye contact with you, and she gives you a smile that’s all too friendly. There’s no way you can leave now because there’s no point in explaining the rules since everyone knows how to play. You and Ukai are definitely the only sober ones in the room, and you feel anxious as the girl from your class picks you to spin the bottle first.

You do it just to do it so you can get out of here faster because you’d rather be anywhere with Ukai but here. You chew on your lip nervously as the conversation gets quiet while people wait to see who’s going in the closet with you. You nearly slump in relief when it lands on Ukai, and when you look at him, he has a look in his eyes that gets both of your heartbeats racing.

He gets up before you do, pulling you to the closet faster than you can even process what’s going on. When he closes the door, you try to find a light to turn on, but he’s pushing you against the nearest wall before you can. As he pushes you, you feel something cold run across your forehead, and you assume it’s the string to the light, so you try to pull it while he kisses you frantically. 

You manage to turn it on, but the moment it happens, you soon forget about it when his lips find your neck. He pulls the jacket off of you, letting it fall to the floor as his hands rub at your thighs. “Keishin,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down since you don’t know how soundproof the door is.

“I’m so glad it landed on me. I don’t know if I would be able to handle you coming in here with someone else,” he breathes against your skin, and you’re glad it landed on him too, but there’s no way you’re able to tell him that when he pushes your dress up so that it’s bunched at your waist. 

He hikes your leg up so that it’s on his waist, and his other hand runs under the side of your panties. You jump when he finally touches you down there, and you hide your face in his hair to try and muffle your moans. He uses his other hand to pull your dress further up your body so until your tits fall out. The straps of the dress were designed where wearing a bra would’ve looked weird, and you don’t regret not wearing one at all right now.

You can’t even begin to try and get a word in when he starts to suck at your tits at the same time he pulls your underwear to the side. You ball his shirt in your fist when he rubs at your clit, and you dig your teeth into the other side of his shirt. You’re glad he has you up against the wall because you definitely would’ve fallen otherwise. 

You wanna try and make him feel good too, but he’s got you trapped between him and the wall, and there’s no way you could, so you just let the pleasure overtake you. You feel tears start to form at the corner of your eyes when he slides his fingers into you, and you’re confident the groan he releases is loud enough for everyone outside to hear.

“Oh, God,” you whine. “Oh, God, Kei–” You stand on your toes to the best of your ability when he presses against your walls, and your fingers hurt from how hard you’re gripping his shirt. He finally abandons your chest in favor of watching your face as he fingers you, nudging your head up with his shoulder, and you bite into your lip as your pleasure builds.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so hot,” he moans as he looks at you, and he pulls your lip out from between your teeth.

“T-They’ll hear–me,” you try to whisper.

“I don’t care. Let ‘em hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.” You can’t fight the urge to bite your lip, and you let your head fall back against the wall. You’re definitely starting to get too loud, so he crashes your lips onto his. He swallows every sound you make, pressing up against you even more when he presses on that spot that has you keening into his mouth.

The knock on the door should startle you but it doesn’t. The only thing you care about now is how good you’re feeling. The second round of knocks are harder, and this time you hear a voice, but you don’t know what they’re saying. He kisses you soundly as he slides his fingers out of you, and you don’t hide your disappointment.

He slides his fingers into his mouth, his breathing just as ragged as yours when he pulls them out. “I’m nowhere near done with you,” he whispers, and he fixes your dress right as the door opens. He picks up his jacket off of the floor, and he grabs your hand, making a bee-line for the exit. 

He’s suddenly stopped by a familiar face with another familiar face on his arm. “I knew you could do it,” he says, and he hands Ukai some money. You both frown at him, and the girl laughs.

“You won the bet, Ukai,” she says, and you can feel your heart start to race in the wrong way as your hand starts to slip from his. “It only took what? Like two months?”

“You don’t remember the bet we made before school started?” the guy asks, and you start to feel sick, looking over your shoulder to see everyone looking at you. You feel like you might puke as you wretch your hand from him and run out of the room. You hear Ukai call after you but you don’t stop, running down the stairs and pushing past people, ignoring their comments.

You can’t help but let the tears fall when you get outside once the music starts to fade. Your ears are ringing so badly, and your feet are moving you to your car. You let out a sob as you run, and you don’t even hear your name being called behind you. A hand grabs your arm, and you try to shake it off, but it tightens its grip.

“Let me go!” you scream, turning around to see Ukai, and the only thing you see is the guy that let you get bullied in high school. “You’re a piece of shit!”

“Just listen to me,” he tries, but you continue to fight him. “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I didn’t see him until that day!” he says, but you’re not listening.

You stop moving, and he doesn’t let you go. “You’re still that same guy. Nothing fucking changed and I fell for it!” You take the chance to slip out of his grip, and you succeed, making a run for your car. You unlock it, but right as you try to open it, his hand lands on yours. 

“Just listen to me, please.”

“No! I don’t want to talk to you.” He turns you around so fast that it almost scares you, and he pushes you against your car door.

“Are you really going to listen to some people that you barely know instead of me?” he questions. Your lip is still wobbling, and you can’t stop the tears that are running down your face.

“It’s not like I have anything else to go off of,” you bite back, and he presses you against the car a little harder when he thinks you might move.

“Yes, you do. And you know it,” he declares. “I have no idea what the fuck they were talking about. I didn’t even know he was going here until I saw him that day. And I haven’t talked to her since that day in class.” You start to calm down, but your heart is still racing a mile a minute. “I really like you, okay?” he starts. “I have since I laid my eyes on you in high school, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell them to stop messing with you. I was more worried about myself.”

His words hang in the air between the two of you, and when you start to relax, he lets you go. “Nothing that I have said or done with you has been a part of some bet. Everything I did was my choice.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” you ask, and you hate how your voice trembles.

“You think I threaten to beat him up all for some bet? I’m better than that, and you know it.” He lets his hands fall into your hands, grabbing them soft but his grip is firm. “I would never do something like that to you. I’ve been thinking about telling you the truth ever since I saw you that day, but I thought if I did, you would hate me. I couldn’t live with that, so I stayed quiet.”

You don’t respond, sniffling heavily. “And now I’m realizing that that was the dumbest decision I could’ve ever made. Spending this time with you has been the best moment of my life,” he breathes. “Don’t tell me that you don’t feel the same.”

You can’t even tell yourself that you don’t feel the same. You know from the start that your feelings for him never left, and there was a part of you that just accepted it. But you were so scared to let your guard down, to be vulnerable with him like you are now. 

“I really like you. I mean that. And I’m sorry for letting you be hurt all this time.” You let go of his hand so that you can wipe your face.

“It’s not your fault,” you eventually say. “I do feel the same way, but I was scared. Back then and now, I blamed you for the bullying, but it was never your fault.”

“Yes, it was,” he presses, but you stop him.

“No. It wasn’t.” You sniffle again, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I was letting the past dictate my feelings. I shouldnt’ve let their words get to me. But I was scared that you would hurt me if I let you back in.”

“I won’t hurt you again. I promise. I’ll never make you feel like that again.” He lets his head fall on yours as he speaks. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, but I won’t let it happen again.” You pull away, looking in his eyes, and you lean forward to kiss him softly. He lets his hands move to your neck, kissing you back just as softly. 

“I believe you,” you whisper when you pull away. “I’m sorry I didn’t before. I really like you, too.” He can’t help but smile, and he kisses you again just because he can.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” you ask, frowning a bit.

“For letting me say what I’ve always wanted to say. I thought I lost my chance forever.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him again.

“No,” you say. “Now you have me forever.”

[therunawaykind]

When You Love Somebody

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None? honestly, I can't remember I wrote this back in May

A/N: Long time no see! I finally have time to post something for you all again! I'm pretty sure this stemmed from a prompt @writing-house-of-m gave me months ago that I for the life of me cannot remember anymore. This very much could be a disaster and mess of writing but nonetheless, enjoy!

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*Please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

At the start, people were very much against the idea of you pursuing and starting this long-distance relationship…of course, it's completely understandable why the people you knew would be hesitant about something like this. The one consolation you had for this whole experience was that you had met your now girlfriend's twin brother whilst he was on exchange at the college you were currently studying at. You had gotten friendly with the twin who you now knew as Pietro due to being one of the many people in charge of giving information to any exchange or new students. As well as giving campus tours and any queries these students may have regarding the college and accommodation.  

It was on a random afternoon when Pietro was hanging out in your apartment when he got the notification of a Facetime call coming through, being respectable you offered to leave the room whilst he talked to whoever it was for his own privacy worried in case it was his anyone from his family or a significant other. He quickly turned down and dismissed your offer stating that it was only his younger sister. Sitting at the other end of the sofa scrolling on your phone in an attempt to give him at least some privacy whilst they talked….you quickly realised he had all the privacy he wanted and needed as they both started conversing in their native tongue.

Chuckling to yourself as you threw your phone onto the coffee table to start looking through the cupboards to search for what you could make for dinner. As you started taking out the pots and pans the mention of your name made your head shoot up subsequently hitting your head off of the open cupboard, muttering a quiet “fuck” under your breath. You take a deep breath and rub the back of your head as you hear Pietro call out to you “Hey Y/N c’mere a sec I wanna introduce you to Wanda…annndd she also kinda wants to say hi since she saw you in the background.” Your eyes went wide as you realised Wanda Pietro’s younger sister had just seen you go through that whole predicament. 

Sheepishly making your way over behind Pietro to introduce yourself, you waved slowly as you started to furrow your eyebrows “Hey Piet… I thought you said that your sister was younger.” You chuckled slightly at the gasp that left Wanda’s mouth as she started cursing and muttering at Pietro in their native language again as Pietro fell back laughing on the sofa. Glancing between Pietro and Wanda seeing her eyebrow arch as she silently tells him to share the truth, between laboured breaths he starts to sit up saying “Technically technically she is my younger sister-” smirking as you hear Wanda clear her throat “However she is my twin sister I am just 12 minutes older.” You nod your head slowly and let out a quiet “Oh okay cool.” Clearing your throat as you scratch the side of your neck nervously “Hey Wanda can… can I ask you something.” As Wanda turns her attention towards you she grins and rests her chin on her hand “Sure what’s up?” 

“Did you..did you uhh see everything that happened back there a few minutes ago?” 

The second Wanda starts to smirk you know the answer as she slowly nods her head “Oh yeah Y/N I saw everything.”  You purse your lips and nod your head as you start rambling “Cool cool cool cool.” 

Pietro suddenly snaps out of whatever daze he was in “Huh? What, what happened Y/N/N what happened what did I miss that happened to you?” You smirk and pat him on the shoulder “Nothing Piet don’t worry about it. I better get back to making dinner but Wanda it was nice meeting you and hopefully, we can talk again at some stage.” Giving her a lil two-finger salute in goodbye as you spin around on your heels to go continue making dinner. 

What you missed was Pietro smirking to himself and Wanda as he wiggles his eyebrows and she swiftly tells him to shut it. 

It was from that moment on you and Wanda started contacting and talking to each other…Wanda boldly asked Pietro if he could get your number for her, you naively thinking it was innocent and Wanda just wanted to be friendly, not realising it would lead you both to now. 

Packing your suitcases with Pietro for another one of your visits to Sokovia, granted you had been able to pack by yourself to go to Sokovia before. But Pietro warned you this time around you would need his help. The reason being it's winter in Sokovia and you’d severely underestimate just how cold it is during that time and under pack hugely and he really couldn’t handle dealing with the wrath of his sister. Wanda had come to visit you from time to time overall it was just easier for you to visit her on the regular with your college and work schedule being so flexible. 

As the aeroplane started to descend to the runaway you looked out the window and saw just how much snow Sokovia was covered in an amazed “woah” came from your mouth. As you manoeuvred your way through baggage claim and the airport. Whilst you have witnessed and experienced snow back home..this was unlike anything else you’ve ever seen, stepping outside and taking a deep breath in as your eyes scan the exit of the airport taking in all the hustle and bustle whilst also attempting to catch a glimpse of your brunette covered in a beanie and bundled in layers.

Rocking back and forth on your heels as you look around the parking lot you smirk to yourself when you see the beanie-covered head coming your way with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her coat. Exhaling the breath you were holding and smiling to yourself as your breath clouded the cold air in front of you, slowly approaching the grinning brune- redhead? You wrap your free arm around your torso in an attempt to keep in the little warmth you have as you state “You changed the colour of your hair.” 

“Wow no hi, hello, how’s my lovely girlfriend doing? But yes I did, I did I wanted it to be a surprise. You- you don’t hate it do you?” Wanda brings her hands up to the hair that’s cascading down her shoulders touching and playing with it insecurely. “No no! God no! I like it. It’s just the last time we talked…well you were brunette so I was expecting a brunette to come pick me up.” Wanda lets out a sarcastic laugh as she shoves you and notices your teeth start to chatter “Yeah, yeah alright come on before you turn to ice.” Sighing to yourself in relief as you sat into Wanda’s car feeling the warmth inside heating you up, placing your head back against the headrest as you shut your eyes making sure to catch up on all the things you both missed out on as you prepared for the journey to Wanda’s house. 

After a few hours of getting settled into Wanda and her family's home, you assumed the feeling of cold would’ve disappeared by now however that wasn’t the case. You were sitting on the floor in front of their fire with a fluffy blanket wrapped around you with your warmest clothes on trying to get warm. Wanda was lying across the sofa relaxing whilst her parents were sitting together on a separate sofa relaxing as if this was an ordinary day and….actually functioning as normal human beings. Wanda propped herself up on the couch leaning her hand against her temple as she stared at you despairingly as she sighed “Y/N/N honey come up here will you please and lemme try help and get you warm?” As you turned around to face Wanda the only way she could describe the expression you had on your face was pure stubbornness that you couldn’t succeed in getting yourself warm. She smirked to herself and her parents as she glanced at them quickly whilst she was reaching for yet another blanket at the bottom of the sofa to drape it over both you and her. 

The dip in the cushions of the sofa made her look up at you and grin lovingly as she threw the ends of the blanket over her feet haphazardly whilst opening her arms wide for you to lie into. Trying to stop a smile from spreading across your face pretending you hate the idea of being cuddled up with Wanda on the sofa, you sigh heavily as you start getting yourself comfortable in front of her as she fixes the blanket that was already wrapped around you and pulling up the other she threw haphazardly by her feet making sure everything was tucked in tight around the both of you so you would get as much heat as physically possible. 

Wanda leans forward and whispers in your ear “Also honey don’t pretend that you hate this I know you love being cuddled up next to me, besides we need to get you warmed up we can’t be having you this cold for the duration of your stay.” 

You sigh lightly “I know, I know I just didn’t wanna seem… I dunno weak or whatever I suppose in front of your parents for not even being capable of getting myself warm.” 

She purses her lips as she places her hand on your head “Honey I can assure you they don’t think you’re weak or whatever. This type of weather is new to you, your body is getting accustomed to this. I can assure you they just don’t want you getting sick or affecting you badly…so if it takes you cuddling up next to their daughter under some blankets, they don’t care. All that matters is that you get warm and you know….they do say body heat is the most effective way to keep warm.” 

You chuckle slightly as you mumble “I could think of a more fun way of using body heat to get and stay warm.” Wanda gasps slightly as she shoves you forward before grabbing the back of your shirt so you don’t fall off the sofa, “I was making reference to emperor penguins and how they huddle together in the cold….you had to go and suggest that I was insinuating it another way.” Wanda smirks and winks at you as she sees your head turn slightly to look back at her. You shake your head in disbelief and mouth “Oh my God, unbelievable.” 

Getting comfortable on the sofa again Wanda slips her arm underneath your shirt draping it across your stomach, flinching slightly at the warmth coming from Wanda it’s only then that you realise she’s been wearing a t-shirt the whole time as you run your hand up her forearm to hold her hand. “You’re always so nice and warm, how are you always so nice and warm?” 

Wanda chuckles slightly at the comment as she mumbles “Well honey you might not have noticed but whenever I am with you…you’re always cold so I can only assume that carries over to when I’m not with you as well. But it works, that makes us a good combination you cool me down in the summer with how cold your body is and in the winter I get to warm you up. We’re a perfect team.” She grins down at you after stating that, rubbing her thumbs across your stomach and kissing the top of your head. You both divert your attention to the television screen and bask in the comfort and happiness of being with your partner and her parents.

[aboutkiyoomi]

bed peace

synopsis: after a very hurtful breakup, osamu takes his time to help you heal and takes the time to call suna out on his bs. at graduation, osamu offers up a deal that you almost can’t pass up.

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff 

pairings: osamu x g!n reader (mentions of past suna x g!n reader)

pre a/n: not proofread so don’t eat me up but this is a second part to my angst suna x reader oneshot, linked right here 📍

a/n: it’s kinda funny how this was requested since i only wrote that because it was my personal situation that i turned into a oneshot to feel better. you guys r so cute haha (thank you to @multi-fandom-fanfic for the req and reblog!)

‘ after the breakup, you were notably upset. everyone in a 5 mile radius could tell you were heartbroken.

‘ suna avoided you like the plague the entire duration of exam week. he couldn’t bear the guilt of seeing you.

‘osamu ignored suna for a couple days for how he treated you, claiming that he needed to “think about how much of a dickhead he was being”

‘ osamu made sure to lift your spirits as much as he could, it was so sweet.

“why does y/n look so sad all the time? i thought you guys were on good terms?” atsumu asked as he sat down between suna and osamu during graduation rehearsal.

“nah. we’re done, like for good.” suna mumbled, not even bothering to look up as he continued to scroll on his phone.

“what happened?” atsumu asked, his eyebrows raising at suna’s nonchalant demeanor. it was unusual to see suna ever talk about you with such lackluster eyes.

“dumbass over here was all cuddled up with some girl during the third year picnic.” osamu answered before suna could get the chance, glaring at him slightly.

“wha- you guys were on a break then, no? sunarin, wtf?” atsumu spoke, his face curling up in a displeased way.

“i wasn’t even doing anything. like you said, it was a break. they took it personally i guess because they thought we were getting back together.” suna started with a harsh sigh, eyes refusing to look up because he knew osamu and probably atsumu were now glaring daggers at him.

atsumu and osamu considered you a really good friend. when suna introduced you to them, you guys immediately bonded. the twins treated you as a sweet little sibling and always made sure to threaten suna for hurting you.

“you are such a dickhead. i hope you know that.” osamu scoffed, his irritation for the whole situation was strong. 

after the picnic, osamu made sure to text you after seeing you walk off with tears staining your face. he wanted to give you space but wanted to make sure that you were alright because he cared for you a lot more than he led on. after a couple of days of sulking, osamu pulled you aside after your chemistry exam and asked you what was wrong. you explained everything and he immediately began comforting you. he went straight to suna and asked about the sitaution, wanting to hear both sides of the story. after hearing suna’s, samu immediately chewed him out. 

“it was a break, samu. i didn’t even do anything with ayako. i don’t know why you keep bitching about it.” suna spit, his phone finally shut off and his head shot up in irritation.

“maybe because you literally broke, y/n? you led them on for weeks, ever since our last volleyball game. texting them and saying that you loved them. who wouldn’t think you wanna get back together after that? they were so hopeful, just to see you all cuddled up and giggly with some girl. you’re such a dick, you don’t even feel bad. you could at least apologize, have some fuckin’ decency.” osamu’s voice raised slightly, his hands shaking as he moves toward suna.

“that wasn’t my fucking intention, they should’ve never took it to heart. if you care about y/n so damn much, why not go fucking date them. how much longer are you gonna chew me out? i know what i did was fucking stupid, i’ve tried apologizing but they blocked me on everything. what else do you want me to do?” suna yells, passerbys begin to look over at them. atsumu finally steps in and tells both samu and suna to keep it down because you were sitting not far across the room with a group of your friends.

“maybe, apologize in person and i’ll stop chewing you out. if you just act like you actually loved them and maybe, just maybe, sunarin, you would never be in this situation.” osamu spit before standing up and stalking off to go sit by himself, closer to y/n.

suna looks over to atsumu and begins to open up his mouth but atsumu cuts him off with a quick dissapointed head shake before speaking, “no, you fucked up. ya gotta fix it, sunarin.” and walks off to join his brother, leaving suna in his silence.

****

graduation rehearsal ended and you spent most of the free time sitting with your friends and the twins, laughing about silly school memories. it had been 2 weeks since the break up and although you were busy, you were still really upset. even after it all, osamu stayed by your side and tried to make you smile and laugh as much as possible.

as you said goodbye to your friends, preparing to walk home you heard someone call your name. you turned around to see suna, standing there. your eyes widened and you spun on your heels, ready to walk away.

“wait, y/n. please, i just want to explain.” suna spoke, his eyes pleading as he walked closer to you.

“what.” you spoke, not bothering to look up, passing off an irritated voice.

“um..i just wanted to explain. i’m sorry if i lead you on, i never really intended on getting back toget-” suna started, his fingers fumbling with the edges of his shirt.

“i’m gonna stop you there. if that was the case, you could’ve said something. the reason for that break was for you to be honest about what you wanted. so don’t try and say that you “didnt mean too,” you spoke and suna retaliated in an embarrassed silence.

“i’m sorry..you didn’t deserve that and you should know that nothing was ever going on with me and that girl, from the third year picnic. i really wish you the best, i’m sorry...again.” suna said, making sure to finally look up at your state. your eyes lacked their normal shine and your face wasn’t as radiant as it used to be, the guilt and regret was hitting him like a bus.

“not saying we’re gonna be cool after this but i appreciate it. have a good life too, suna.” you finished before walking off in the opposite direction, leaving suna to his thoughts again. it seems that it was now suna’s time to be heartbroken.

*****

graduation day

“i can’t believe it, we’re finally graduates. it’s so cool that we’ll be going to the same college.” you said to osamu as you guys waited for atsumu to finish crying over his high school days being over and saying goodbye to nearly the entire population of third years.

“yea, seems like you’re the only one excited.” samu says, somber smile gracing his features.

“tsumu still pissed at you?” you asked, patting his shoulder sweetly.

“yup, only talked with me when our ma’ wanted pictures. he’ll get over it, he’s excited to see me open up a restaurant, he just won’t admit it.” osamu spoke with a sigh as he leaned his weight on you. both of you chatting before osamu noticed suna glancing over at you with sad eyes.

“hey, y/n. are you okay? after ya know, suna almost ruined the end of your third year.” osamu asked gently, pushing you back slightly so he can look you in your eyes.

“it sucks but he apologized and honestly, i’m over it. it was what it was. i’m ready to move on.” you said, confidently as you smiled happily at osamu who’s face lit up with warmth.

“oh and y/n, you deserve real love and someone who’s willing to give it to you.” osamu said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“maybe i’ll find them in college.” you replied.

“or maybe, it could be me.” osamu said, smile growing larger as he watched your eyes widen slightly in shock.

“i like you a lot y/n....you don’t have to answer now. there’s a lot of time for us to become....us.” samu said before pulling you in for a quick hug, allowing you to relax at how comforting osamu had always been.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: All Grown Up Now {One Shot} ***

Older Brother’s BFF & Old Frat Brother Chris Evans x Reader AU

Warning: 18 + Content, Lots of Cursing, NSFW, PLENTY PLENTY OF WORDS, SMUTTT, Slow Burn

Words: 14.3K

Summary: Nope!

Note: Y’all know what pic this was inspired by. The girlies who get it, get it. Shout out to @caramara3​ for shamelessly egging me on with this. XOXOX. Worked out well to be a b-day fic. Happy 41st to our collective man! LOL

Thank you all for reading. I appreciate you!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Friday-

  “What do you mean you have plans?”

 You sat in your brother’s living room scrolling through Netflix on his seventy-inch TV. A TV that you’d given so much flack over him getting but it was now one of the best things in this apartment. You scrolled through your list selections under your very own profile under his account. It didn’t matter if you had your own account in your own apartment that was one floor up on the opposite side of the building. You passed some C-list action movie then a made for tv movie you’d saved months ago waiting for the perfect time to watch it.

 “It means what it sounds like. I—have—plans,” your bother enunciated as he passed behind you crossing to the other side of his apartment from where his office was to where his bedroom was.

 “What sort of plans? You didn’t even invite me.”

 You purposely added a little more whine to your voice. You wanted to lay it on thick.

 “Not tonight, Binky.”

 You kissed your teeth at the annoying nickname, your mind immediately running to the one who’d first given you the moniker. Heat spread across your chest then traveled down your sternum to your belly. It made you wiggle in your spot on the couch. You’d always hated the name. It wasn’t a name given out of affection; it was one given to tease. When you’d been given the name now maybe ten years ago you were just in your twenties and hadn’t grown into the adult you were today.

 Cringing at the memory of yourself from twenty you closed your eyes and huffed out a breath.

 “That fucking name,” you whispered.

 “What, still haven’t gotten over the name?”

 Your brother’s voice came from right beside your head, making you jump. You glared at him, grabbed a pillow, and swung. He ducked, dodging that and the second and third swing.

 “So much anger,” he teased.

 “I don’t think it’s fair for you to drop me for some last-minute plans.”

 He snorted, “They’re not last minute. I told you last week that this weekend was not going to be a hang out weekend. I told you it was my monthly guy's weekend.”

 You vaguely remembered this conversation, but you weren’t going to tell him that. Again, you kissed your teeth.

 “Should you be having a guy’s weekend with a whole girlfriend? Yvette is cool with this?”

 “Oh please, V don’t own me. I’m my own man. I can do what I please, go when I want, see who I want. I wear the pants.”

 As he continued, the true wearer of the pants waltzed inside the apartment using her spare key and quietly closed the door leaning on it to allow his rant to continue. Smiling, you hopped onto your knees in the couch wanting a good view of what came next.

 “Ah, so ah you run tings, tings nuh run you,” you egged on.

 “Damn right! Mi a bad man!”

 He gave his best Shottas voice, and it took every single ounce of control to not bust out laughing.

 “V know what it is.”

 Your brother walked out of his bedroom and the scent of bergamot, musk and patchouli spilled out into the wide open common area.

 “What was that?”

 Your brother jumped back lifting his hands in a defensive stance, “Baby!”

 Yvette crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side waiting for him to answer.

 “Me? I wasn’t saying nothing.”

 Unable to hold it in any longer, you busted out laughing.

 “Speak your heart, don’t bite your tongue.”

 He narrowed his eyes at you then shook his head. “You couldn’ta told me she was here? You know I’m your bother right. blood, me.”

 You rolled your eyes. “Remember that when you wanna throw slurs around,” you said rolling your eyes in exaggerated fashion and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

 “You mad petty. Just cause I called you binky?”

 He approached Yvette and you watched them embrace then kiss. They’ve been together for six years now and they still didn’t live together but it didn’t seem to matter because they looked more in love today than they’d ever been.

 “Why you gotta tease her with that damn name? You know she hates it.”

 He chuckled, “It’s just a name. It means nothing.”

 You didn’t believe that one bit. The person who’d given it to you could have been labeled as your nemesis. It wasn’t anything hostile—or too hostile. He just annoyed you at every single opportunity. Either it was a snide remark here or a sly comment there and they all were about your age, your height, the aura you gave off or the fact that you were the youngest. It was annoying. Then when you made jokes about how old he was, he went harder with the teasing until you were roasting each other then you were pouting and glaring at him. it always happened that way.

 “You know he gave her that nickname to tease her about acting, looking and being a baby,” Yvette stated, addressing the elephant in the room.

 “I mean, she is the baby. Out of all of us she is the last born and not to mention dead last. Ion’t know why mama and daddy thought it was a good idea to have another kid twelve years after me. Twelve years.”

 You rolled your eyes then took up a pillow and lunged it at his head. When it made contact he snapped his head back to mimic whiplash.

 “That was cold. I coulda pulled a muscle. So violent. Baby my neck hurt now.”

 You watched Yvette baby him. They were adorable but damn was it annoying sometimes.

 “Anyway, I’m dropping this off since I won’t see you till next weekend. Remember you not some fresh and green single man. Don’t act up!”

 Your brother lifted his hands in surrender.

 “I never act up. I’ll be on my best worst behavior.”

 You snorted and Yvette slapped the back of his head playfully.

 “When are you meeting up with the rest of them?”

 He looked at his watch, “C should be here any minute.”

 Your spine instantly straightened.

 “Wait what. Here?”

 “Yeah. He’s staying for the weekend.”

 Your eyes widened. He’d conveniently left that piece of information out. You began moving getting ready to get your ass outta there. You didn’t want to run into him. You were not in the mood to go four rounds.

 “Running away huh. He said you’d run.”

 You paused then glared at your brother who didn’t look stressed, in fact, he looked entertained. “You’d think he’s your brother with this sibling rivalry you got goin on.”

 “Blasphemy!”

 “Why do you hate him so much?”

 It’s not that you hated him. You hated his type. The type that came off cocky and charismatic with just a few words and the stance of their legs. The type that knew they weren’t hideous and knew they could talk anything with ears and a basic understanding of the English language into bed, the type who seemed to captivate everyone around them with nothing more than a smile. You’d seen his type everywhere; you knew them well and you weren’t impressed.

 It didn’t have anything to do with his mesmerizing eyes that were deeper than twenty thousand leagues under the sea, or that he was so tall that he easily towered over you making you feel smaller than you were, or that well past thirty his body was anything but a dad bod, or that his smile could melt all the ice in the artic significantly speeding up global warming. Hell it didn’t even matter that on several occasions through the years you’d gotten examples of not only his strength, but his charm, and seen glimpses of that non-dad bod that made your mouth dryer than Egypt. None of that contributed to the reasons why he annoyed you. Right?

 “He’s annoying,” you simply stated shrugging your shoulders.

 Your bother and Yvette looked at each other with quizzical looks. Clearly they didn’t know what you meant. Your brother shrugged making a move to walk away but Yvette’s eyes lingered on you like she knew something you oblivious brother didn’t that only women would know. she didn’t say anything though.

 Suddenly the bell rang, and you froze in spot.

 “That’s him now,” your bother informed. Yvette was the one to open the door and in walked all six feet of him.

“Bro!”

 Your bother echoed him and the two approached one another getting into their frat secret handshake which was a whole-body mini dance sequence full of moves that looked like they belonged in a Morehouse step group. You knew your brother had moves but seeing him do the moves and pulling them off made your belly flutter. The fuck, you thought. When the two men hit the woah you actually had to sit down. the fuck, you thought again.

 “Yvette, how are you?”

 He hugged her keeping the smile on his face.

 “How are you Chris?”

 “Good, good. You look as beautiful as ever.”

 “Back off C, we may share most things but we ain’t sharing my woman,” your brother spoke up. Chris snorted.

 “Don’t worry. Caring is sharing but I don’t want you to share her, you two belong together. Now other things--,” he trailed off making your bother chuckle.

 His eyes landed on you and his half smirk and smile fell. You watched as his eyes looked you up and down once, then twice. Before those cornflower steel-tinged eyes made a third trip he shook his head slightly then glanced at your brother.

 “Is this--.”

 Your brother nodded. You straightened your back feeling the scrutiny of his eyes. They felt like weights. It felt like he was inspecting you, measuring you up to the last version of you he saw which was over four years ago.

 “Nah, you’re fuckin’ with me.”

 “Nope.”

 “This is b—binky?”

 You rolled your eyed hard then sighed. Here we go, you thought.

 “No way. Wow.”

 He took two steps closer, but you didn’t budge from your seat though some part of you wanted to stand tall knowing your heels would afford you plenty of height on him. Bolting upright your stomach sank. While you were taller, you still didn’t reach his head. which meant he still towered over you. Asshole, you thought.

 “Wow, binky. I’m—wow.”

 “I have a name and Binky isn’t it.”

 Chris smirked then smiled that winning smile of his. You wanted to snort.

 “I know your name; it’s just Binky has always suited you better.”

 You planted your hand on your hip sticking it out knowing your stance accentuated your curves.

 “Even now?”

 Chris smirked and he looked like he wanted to scan you over again, but he didn’t. Instead he backed off.

 “It’s good to see you Binky. Four years is a long time.”

 You ignored the way your stomach flipped from the deepness of his voice or how you wanted to suck your bottom lip from the intense smells coming off of him. You even ignored the way his oddly patterned tan, black, cream and orange shirt hugged his massively toned biceps or the trimness of his waist and desperately ignored the way his black slacks fit him. Damn, the man always knew how to fill out an outfit.

 “Not long enough,” you muttered.

 The smirk on Chris’ face said he’d heard you loud and clear.

 “Or too long. Miss four years miss a lot,” Chris said from his new spot next to your brother, arms crossed over his chest with on hand up, rubbing just underneath his bottom lip and his eyes flicking up and down your frame.

 It was then you noticed the slight bit of grey in his beard. An evil smirk spread across your lips.

 “Four years was enough time for you to grey I see old man.”

 Chris smirked as your bother laughed loudly.

 “Alas, not everyone can be blessed with young blood with not one grey hair on any part of their body.”

 You shifted to your other leg resting your hand on the other hip. Feeling the win for this round, you smirked but caught his eyes once again skimming you, slower this time.

 “You know what they say, with age comes knowledge and with youth—inexperience. Is that how it goes Binky? The corner still your favorite place to be?”

 You scowled and glared at him.

 “At least I’m not desperately hanging on to my frat days,” you muttered sitting back down with your back to him.

 Again the win felt like yours. Then you felt the heat beside your head.

 “No need to, I’m at my prime and the best shape of my life---I could teach frat boy me some things.”

 He said it just below a whisper, but his voice held plenty of taunt in it, plenty of—something else. Glancing to the side at him your eyes met bit neither of you spoke again.

 “All right, everyone to their corners,” your brother said pulling Chris back.

 You stood and tried to shake off his words, and the way his eyes pierced into yours.

 “Well I’m going home. Enjoy your boy’s weekend,” you said walking to the door.

 Yvette kissed your bother once more and followed you.

 “I’m sure I’ll see you again before the weekend is up binky. I’ll be here for four long days.”

 You slammed the door behind you and clenched your jaw.

 “It should be a crime for him to still have his good looks,” Yvette said before she pushed the button for the elevator. You didn’t respond. You were not about to agree with her no matter how much you did in fact, agree.

 “He likes when he gets to you. I think he lives for your sparring.”

 “He needs to live for his Centrum Silver vitamins.”

 Yvette snorted and laughed loudly getting on the elevator that opened going down. Before the doors closed she leaned closer.

 “More than ten years and still you two drive one another crazy. Ya’ know, there is a way to get rid of the tension between you that only requires a flat surface and doesn’t involve speaking.”

 It took a few moments for you to get it, but your jaw dropped when you did. Yvette smiled as the elevator doors closed and another opened ready to take you upstairs to your apartment. Did she just suggest you hate fuck your brother’s best friend?

 ~~~~~~~~~

 Five hours later, her words were still on the brain even though you’d done several things since leaving your brother’s apartment. You’d managed to get through your end of the week cleaning, get ahead on a few love, romance and fashion articles for the web magazine you worked at, accomplish an hour or two of shopping at your favorite mall, grabbed take out from your most loved restaurant and even ate it while you and your friends facetimed and group watched a few episodes of your friend watch show all the while drinking down several bottles of wine and trash talking everything and everyone you knew.

 There were no way Yvette’s words should still be in your head but there they were wafting around and even floating in the air of your apartment.

 Ya’ know, there is a way to get rid of the tension between you that only requires a flat surface and doesn’t involve speaking.”

 As you finished yet another glass of wine, your mind wandered to some of those surfaces. Your eyes dropped to the coffee table in front of you, the rectangular dining table in the dining area, the kitchen countertop that was just in view thanks to your open floor plan, the window seat in front of your large bay windows hell even the floor caught your eye and the ottoman resting on it. Shit you thought, grabbing the wine bottle, and bringing it to your head forgoing the glass altogether.

 “Eh-em, excuse me Ms. Ma’am, what was that sound that came from you and what the hell are you doing to that bottle?”

 Your attention went back to your iPad and Nicole’s question. Then you realized your tongue was swirled around the spout of the bottle and your hands gripped around the thick middle.

 “It’s not a dick, Y/N.”

 They all laughed in an uproar. You rolled your eyes then took a mouthful of wine and put the bottle beside you.

 “Where was your mind just now?”

 You stayed quiet.

 “Was it on a certain tall, white, and handsome best friend who is now in town and showing out all over social?”

 Your fingers itched to grab your phone to see what Mona was talking about. Was he showing out? Resisting the urge, you grabbed the bottle instead and took another swig.

 “Are you talking about her nemesis, Chris? Y/N I heard he got finer than fine,” Delaney piped up.

 “Got? The man had always been fine. If anything he got finer. What is he thirty-five?”

 You snorted. “Try forty.”

 The peanut gallery tuned in all talking over one another debating if he truly was forty and why he didn’t look it and wondering if he performed like it. With each debate your curiosity piqued. To be truthful, your curiosity had truly piqued four years ago when you’d seen him shirtless in swim trunks and rocking a chest full of tattoos. You knew he liked tats and that he’d even added a few over the years but that is what you thought he had—a few. A few it was not, the man was tatted up like he was part of the Irish mob, rocking an enviable six pack, swole biceps and an ass to bounce two nickels off of to make ten cents, and sporting his Boston accent all over the place.

 Your intense reaction to him was one of the reasons you avoided him the four years. If he came to visit you made yourself scarce, never appearing around him. In the four years he’d probably seen you a handful of times all over facetime and from the neck up. remembering his frame from earlier you realized now that he’d bulked up even more. You took another gulp of wine then grabbed your phone. You were a strong woman but why be strong when you could give in. You found his social media and looked at each of the eight pictures he’d posted since you’d left the apartment. There were two shots of him and your brother, one of them in a party bus with their other friends, men you’d seen plenty of times, most from your brother’s college days. The six that followed show the decent into debauchery the night had taken.

 They were surrounded by drinks, bottles, women and food. The last picture he posted was of him seated and a bottle girl in his lap holding a rather large bottle of Dom as it sprayed into the air. His hands were wrapped around her stomach, and they looked happier than two turtle doves. Chummy, you thought giving your eyes a quick roll.

 “See em’? He is thotin’ tonight,” Toni added.

 A mixture of saltiness and annoyance filled you. The man had been a thot since the first day you met him with you were barely eighteen. A memory of accidentally interrupting him with not one but two barely dressed big breasted girls that eerily looked alike. They hadn’t noticed you when you walked in and continued the three way kiss they were taking part in while their hands entangled with one another’s feeling over their bodies.

 The carnal sounds of their kissing and moans filled the room and you should have looked away immediately but there was a ten second lag where his eyes met yours while he continued to kiss the possible twins. The look in his eyes was such an intense one that it made a deep part of your belly bubble and tingle like a freshly uncorked bottle of champagne shooting an effervescent waterfall of sugar and loose inhibitions out over a crowd of rowdy partyers. Before the feeling intensified, you bolted from the room. Thirty minutes later, your brother officially introduced you to each other and the look that you’d noticed in his eyes thirty minutes ago was hidden better but still glimmers could be seen. It was mischief.

 Every time you saw each other you saw that look—every single time.

 “Y/N!”

 Snapping out of the memory you returned your attention to your group facetime.

 “Girl you know that man is fine!”

 They all laughed together as you brought your wine bottle to your head and that is where it remained until it was empty.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

 -Saturday-

 The honks from outside could be heard clearly and were steadily getting louder with each passing minute. You tossed to you side and groaned. Another loud blare of a car horn echoed around you, and you flopped to your back. A loud disgruntled groan left you as you slapped a pillow over your head. Even that wasn’t enough to grown out the four honks that came after.

 “What the fuck!”

 You kicked off the blankets in huff of aggression then flung your eye mask to the side of the room and stomped to your large industrial steel factory style windows and lifted the latch that allowed you to open it. Sticking your head out, you let it rip.

 “People are trying to sleep!”

 You were ten stories up and probably looked like a nut job, but you didn’t care. This was just disrespect at this point. Slamming the window shut you hurried to your bathroom eyes still mostly closed. After a quick squat on the toilet, you stood in front of the half body vanity mirror looking at your blurry reflection. Groaning, you rolled your neck then began washing your hands. With your toothbrush in hand, you lazily brushed wishing you were still in your bed wrapped in the cozy blankets and back in the dream you were rudely woken from.

You drifted back to the last scene of that dream. You were sitting comfortably in your living room lounging around and in walked brother’s asshole best friend also known as Chris. He wore the tightest white shirt and medium wash jeans that hugged his waist so right. In his hands he carried a trey of treats—strawberries, small diced melon and wedged apples and pineapple. When he approached he took his place behind you then began feeding you the fruit teasing your lips with their juices. 

When he tipped your chin up and brought his lips to yours, a small moan escaped you. He kissed you with expertise, and a passion that stole your breath but when he brought those lips to your neck you melted. Chris’ hand cupped your right breast then trailed lower and lower until they disappeared inside your barely there lounge shorts. You gasped and arched off of the couch, his name a whisper of a cloud on your lips.

 Slowly your face came into focus in the mirror and horror filled you.

 “What the fuck!”

 You leaped back as if his reflection shone back at you.

 “What the fuck? What the fuck!?”

 You spit the toothpaste out then rinsed your mouth as if you were trying to rid it of more than toothpaste—maybe his kiss. As you thought of it again you gagged.

 “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

 You pressed your face close to the mirror and peered into your eyes.

 “Get a fucking grip. You hate him. He’s disgusting.”

 Those facts were not enough because you still saw his lips.

 “He’s your brother’s best friend and he’s a whore!”

 Still your head was not letting it sink in. It was still stuck on his lips, the imagined feel of them, the taste of his mouth that looked like it could taste of sugar and spice and every single thing nice. Your head was lost—a goner. Groaning you grabbed your breast the one he’d cupped in your dream. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip and your reflection caught your eye—it was that reflection that had you tearing your hand away from your body.

 “Get a grip! The dick might be good, but you don’t want no parts of it!”

 Nodding, you wiped your face and mouth then walked back out on a mission for the strongest cup of coffee you’d ever made in your life. It was not you regretted those three bottles of wine. It wasn’t like you didn’t know what to expect, you knew that particular brand of wine crept up on you then knocked you down hard. Rubbing your forehead, you finished the distance of your long hallway then turned into the open concept living room, dining room and kitchen. It was then the scent of the coffee hit you like a pillow to the face.

 From where you stood you saw no one and wondered why you smelled coffee. You took a few steps toward the kitchen but stopped when the empty bottles and take out caught your eye on the coffee table in the living room.

 “Fuck.”

 Changing course, you walked into the living room, bent, and gathered the four empty bottles of wine and the now empty food container. When you turned, you stopped in your tracks. There in the kitchen at the long concrete top island stood Chris with wide eyes, a dropped jaw, and an equally as frozen stance as you. Oh my god, you thought. He wore a crisp white t-shirt and the same medium wash denim jeans as you’d dreamed less than ten minutes ago.

 “Oh my god,” you whispered.

 Neither of you moved a muscle, you just stood there taking one another in. The way the shirt fit him accentuated his ripe and in his prime figure. He wasn’t full of shit last night when he’d said it. He looked it. your eyes trailed to his trim waist and the sliver of flesh peeking through thanks to his raised and outstretched arms.  A tattoo looked back at you and from where it was you knew it was a new one—one you hadn’t clocked the last time you’d seen him shirtless.

 You were so lost in your examination of him that you didn’t realize until now your eyes weren’t the only ones roaming. His were slowly raking across your figure. that was when you thought to look over yourself. You didn’t make it too far before your eyes stopped at your breasts that were pretty visible through the cropped sheer pink lace tank that not only was low cut in the front to show off the swell of your breasts but see through enough for the shape of them and color of your nipples to be impossible to hide. It all came back then. The bottoms you were weren’t bottoms at all. it was a matching lace thong.

 You snapped your head up and knew he’d seen it all.

 “Oh fuck!”

 Your loud voice did nothing to break his gaze. Still his eyes were glued to you, even when you dropped the things in your hands to cover yourself the best you could.

 “Chris!”

 Stirring, he dropped the things in his hands to the counter then slapped his hands to his eyes.

 “Fuck!”

 “What the fuck!”

 You were panicking now and the only thing you thought to do was run. So that was what you did. You ran from the living room right back to your bedroom, mortification filling you. You buried yourself in your bed under the covers and screamed into your pillows as you tried to come to terms with what just happened. Everything played in slow motion in your head and every single detail only made you feel more embarrassment. He’d seen you practically naked. He’d seen your body.

 After a few short minutes you leapt up and crossed to your floor length mirror and looked at yourself. Yep, there was no way he hadn’t seen anything. Your apartment was well lit and bright, and you were even standing before the windows that gave you the best natural light for your selfies. You thought back to how his eyes roamed your skin and you groaned. He’d taken in every detail. Spinning around, you looked at your bare ass then clasped your hands over your mouth and screamed.

 “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

 Thanks to you being bent over to get the bottles, he’d seen your ass too. You stood there still and now in shock. Your brother’s best friend who you’d been dreaming about appeared in the same outfit from your dream and seen you practically naked.

 “Oh god.”

 You paced your room trying to figure out what to do. How were you going to go back out there? How were you going to face him from this day on? You pulled out your robe then tied it tightly against your body. It was then you thought on an important note—what was he thinking about your body. You hated it but you wondered how you stacked up to the tens of women he must have slept with in his lifetime. You groaned then slapped your head.

 “What does it matter, Y/N? it doesn’t. It’s not like you’re ugly. You’re happy with your body. All your exes loved your body, you love your body. It’s a hot body. You’re hot!”

 You nodded then shook your head. You sounded like an idiot.

 “What the fuck is he doing here? How the fuck--.”

 Your anger took over and you stormed out of your room ready to kick his ass. When you stepped into the living room again he bolted off your counter. You noticed his face was red.

 “What the fuck Chris!”

 He raised his hands and backed up as you got closer.

 “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 “You’re sorry? What the fuck are you doing here? How the fuck did you get in here?”

 He held up a key that you knew was your brothers. Your jaw dropped.

 “Fuck no! Where did you get that?”

 “Your brother. He gave it to me. He said you guys have breakfast every Saturday morning and said it was cool,” he rushed out.

 Narrowing your eyes, your anger reached new heights.

 “So you just what decided a little breaking and entering into a woman’s apartment without her knowledge was a good way to start your Saturday?”

 “I didn’t break and enter. I have a key.”

 You rounded the corner of the island and you saw he knew the error he’d made. Raising his hands again he backed away.

 “Y/N,” he cautioned. “Wait---wait---I called. I left a message, I even texted.”

 You paused and sighed in frustration. You’d long blocked his ass.

 “Fuck!”

 “Check your phone you’ll see. I didn’t mean to—over step and see--,” he stuttered. You spun around glaring at him.

 “See what? What’d you see?”

 The struggle his eyes were going through to remain topside was evident. It would have been funny in any other situation but not right now.

 “What’d you see?”

 “Nothing! I saw nothing.”

 After a few moments, you backed off and left wide space between you trying to ignore how your skin tingled being close. The silence stretched and introduced awkwardness into atmosphere. You groaned and caught whiff of coffee again then moved to pour yourself a large mug. As you fixed your drink you took in the spread of breakfast foods across the island. There were corn muffins, bagels, scrambled eggs with cheese, croissants, sausages, bacon, smoked salmon shavings, an assortment of jams and jellies and a few other items. When your eyes landed on the fruit selection you took in the pineapple, apples, melon and strawberries and you groaned.

 “Oh fuck!”

 You turned your back to it and took a big gulp of the coffee ignoring the burn on your taste buds.

 “I know corn muffins and the turkey variety of bacon is your favorite,” he said in a timid voice.

 Good you thought, he wasn’t so self-assured right now.

 “I even got the fruits you like. Pineapple and strawberries are your favorites right?”

 You didn’t answer and chose to ignore the fact he knew your favorites. He was not going to charm himself out of this blunder.

 “Come on Binky. How do you think I feel seeing my practical sister--.”

 You spun around so quick the liquid in your mug sloshed over the rim dripping onto your fingers. You ignore it.

 “Excuse me? Your sister? I’m not your sister. We have no relation.”

 Chris’ eyes locked with yours. “You’re right. I guess since it’s been so long—I see you—saw you kinda--.”

 “Like a sister? Is that how you see me?”

 Chris’ eyes dropped to your chest and seconds later he darted them to the side then sat on the stool on the other side of the island. Whatever he was going to say was gone.

 “I’m sorry.”

 The door then opened and in walked your asinine brother who would give someone your apartment key without thinking anything of it. He trusted this fool that wholly. He probably didn’t think any harm could come of it.

 “Hello, hello, hello! I brought the cheese Danishes and the thing.”

 As he got to the island he stopped and glanced between the two of you. “Uh—is something wrong?”

 You clenched your jaw and took a big gulp of your coffee trying hard not to fling it at him.

 “Did you wake her up, C? She only gets cranky when she’s woken up.”

 If only he knew, you thought to yourself taking the stool nearest you and dragging it the furthest from Chris.

 “Here, maybe this will make up for this,” your bother said sliding a pastel pink wrapped gift your way that was topped with a white confetti dotted ribbon.

 “What’s that?”

 “A gift. Chris got it for you.”

 You paused and glanced at him. He averted his eyes.

 “Open it.”

 “I don’t want it,” you said before you thought about it.

 “Come on, Y/N. This rivalry you have has to end. He thought about you on his way here and brought you a gift. Accept it. It’s definitely not like you to turn a gift down.”

 You glared at him then rolled your eyes. He made you sound like a gold digger.

 “Tell her Chris.”

 “It’s okay man, if she doesn’t want it I don’t want to force her. I’ll just return it.”

 He spoke without looking at you. Was he now ashamed of what just happened? As he reached for it, you got the urge to grab onto it like it was your precious and you were Gollum, so you did touching his hand in the process. Chris’s eyes met yours for a moment and it wasn’t shame you saw there. It was something sweltering, something complex, something--. Before you could place it, Chris yanked his hands back as if your flesh were hot coals and averted his eyes again. What was that?

 “Open it,” your brother said through a mouthful of food.

 Slowly you untied the ribbon then rested it beside you then got started on the wrapping paper. You took your time taking Chris in as you did it. He looked nervous, maybe even anxious like he was worried you wouldn’t like it. Your curiosity piqued even more. After a few minutes, you had the gift box in front of you ready to open. When you did, your breath hitched. Flexing your fingers, you hesitated.

 “What is it?”

 Before you, was a lamp like fixture that was all gold and intricately designed. Your bottom lip quivered so you snapped it between your teeth. You took in the lamp and smiled as you saw the replicas of star constellations you knew well. It was the night sky. You lifted it out of the box noting the heaviness. It was possibly real gold.

 “What is that?”

 “The constellations in the night sky,” you softly said.

 From your peripheral you saw the side of Chris’ mouth quirk up just a touch. It was then you noticed the gold dome could be removed, so you lifted it and another intricately designed gold design appeared. This one was different from the first. Again you lifted it and revealed another, then another. In total there were four and you understood instantly.

 “Why so many?”

 “Because the constellations in the sky are slightly—,” Chris began

 “Different depending on the season and when you look,” you finished.

 Your eyes met and the anger and annoyance you felt for him minutes ago faded. This was a thoughtful gift. You loved the stars and constellations. You didn’t know he knew that about you.

 “Is this real gold?”

 Chris cleared his throat then nodded. This was an extremely thoughtful gift you thought. Pulling yourself together you cleared your throat, straightened your back then began packing the lamp away.

 “Thank you.”

 “You like it?”

 Meeting his eyes you held it gaze.

 “I love it.”

 Something flashed in his eyes and that something made your stomach flutter. Both of you looked away from one another at the same time. Your brother clapped his hands once and smiled.

 “Finally. A truce. It only took over a decade.”

 Now you wondered something else. Why would he get you this? It was thoughtful, personal, some would even say intimate. Why would he bother?

 After breakfast you showered and dressed then joined them for a shopping trip that they insisted on. Every store you went into, they followed. Normally your brother would moan and groan about shopping with you but with Chris as his company he had plenty of entertainment. Chris didn’t even look bothered by your store hopping antics. He quietly walked around not groaning once about the items you piled into their hands.

 When you tried on outfits and modeled them your brother was the one with most of the critique while Chris remained silent. Though his mouth was shut, his eyes took in every detail of the outfits you chose. Every so often you noticed his eyes on you from across the store, noticed how his eyes weren’t as scrutinous as they had been before. Now there was something else there, something that felt dangerous to suss out.

 Nearly two grand and five hours later, the three of you sat in a restaurant for lunch. While your brother and Chris talked about some baseball game, you scrolled through your phone ignoring them. Bringing the straw in your glass to your lips your chewed it. The burn of eyes bore into you making you glance up to find Chris’ eyes on you—or your mouth. The darkness of his gaze heated your skin more than the sun shining through the window beside you. Dropping his eyes, you looked back to your phone unsure when he began affecting you like this.

 “Y/N?”

 You turned to find Elijah standing there with a wide smile.

 “Elijah.”

 “Hey there beautiful.”

 You stood and gasped as he pulled you into his arms for a tight embrace. The scraping of a chair against the floor echoed in the restaurant and you peeped back to see Chris standing with a confrontational look on his face.

 “It’s cool. What’s good Elijah?”

 Elijah and your brother dabbed each other up while you studied Chris and his odd reaction.

 “Elijah is our Binky’s boyfriend.”

 “Ex, you interjected unsure why you felt the need to clarify.

 Elijah chuckled nervously making you feel a little bad about it.  “Yeah, ex,” he reiterated.

 “This is Chris. She’s like a sister to him.”

 There goes that connection again. Like a sister. Hearing it now you wanted to cringe.

 “Oh cool, cool. Elijah man, nice to meet you.”

 He held his hand out and waited for Chris to shake it. It was a slow process but eventually he took Elijah’s hand and shook it.

 “A beautiful woman can’t have too many brothers looking out for her.”

 An audible gag escaped you and their eyes fell to you. “Sorry. Ignore me.”

 “Am I seeing you tonight, peaches?”

 Automatically you felt embarrassed at the nickname he’d given you after the first time he’d tasted you.

 “Wow, Lijah,” you warned gently slapping his toned gut.

 “What’s tonight, Binky?”

 It was Chris who asked standing taller. You looked between him and Elijah wondering why the testosterone levels hade jumped.

 “Freaknic party,” Elijah informed. “Peaches always makes an appearance.”

 “Aight, cool, then we all should come. Right?”

 Chris looked to your brother who looked confused but nodded. He didn’t look at you though.

 “That’s cool right Elijah?”

 It’s all good. The more the merrier. Anyway peaches, hit me up.”

 His smile was wide and so damn sexy. He made it easy to forget what you’d broken up.

 “We’ll see.”

 He laughed then dipped down and kissed your jaw.

 “Aight, stay up man.”

 With that Elijah was gone and you all were sitting again.

 “Why does he call you peaches?”

 Your eyes met Chris’.

 “Cause none of you ever wanna use my name. You so damn nosey!”

 You went back to your phone, but you still felt his glare and it was hotter than the sun—much hotter.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You didn’t think anything of lunch as you began to get ready for your night. You went through the bags of clothes and shoes you’d bought earlier and tried to find the best one. When you were elbows deep in clothes you noticed a bag from a store you hadn’t gone into. As you dug into it, you pulled out a shoe box and marveled at the impressively blinged out pair of heels.

 “Wow.”

 A card at the bottom of the box caught your eye and when your read the words you knew who they were from.

 Saw these and thought they’d look nice. Pink is a good color on you, binky.

 -C

 You scoffed. The man wanted this heel right between his eyes or better yet right between his legs. Mischief sparked in you. You’d show him. You pulled a slinky pink metallic dress from one of the bags and laughed to yourself. Let’s see if he’d still call you a baby now. For the next hour, you primped and primed yourself layering scents, applying your make up, adding some body glitter and even making your hair into the perfect specimen of seduction. Tonight was probably going to be Elijah’s lucky night but just for one night. Was it fair to him? probably not, but you didn’t care right now. You wanted to get your rocks off, shit it was verging on to a need.

 When you got to the club you smiled and hugged everyone you knew. Everyone complimented your look telling you how good you looked. Eating up the praise you took a few selfies and posted them to your social media. No use letting the look go to waste. From behind you, you heard your name. Turning, you gawked seeing your brother and Chris standing there. Instantly Chris’  eyes scanned your body before he clenched his jaw.

 “What’re you two doing here? I thought this was boy’s weekend.”

 “It is. We just told everyone to come here tonight.”

 “I don’t need a chaperone.”

 Your brother shook his head and looked you over.

 “No just a gate keeper dressed like that.”

 You glared at him. “Don’t need one of those either.”

 “Don’t worry, you got two,” your brother said motioning to Chris beside him.

 Kissing your teeth you turned and walked away knowing they’d see the low back of the dress. You gave no fucks. You felt the eyes drawing to you as you walked through but when no one approached you knew Chris and your brother were close behind you scaring everyone away. Sighing you slid into a booth and they both slid in beside you, sandwiching you in the middle.

 “You’re fucking kidding. Space.”

 “Nope, not tonight.”

 Elijah came over then wearing a black and white ensemble and a smile.

 “Hey there peaches.”

 You smiled widely. “Elijah, finally. A drink?”

 “Of course.”

 “You pushed yourself up onto the booth seat knowing your entire thigh was on display but not caring. Elijah reached for your hand, and you took it stepping onto the table and escaping the clutches of your chaperones.

 “See ya!”

 Laughing you let Elijah lead you away only glancing back to stick your tongue out at both of them. No one puts baby in a corner—or in this case, the middle. Once at the bar, Elijah looked you up and down and licked his lips.

 “You showin’ out tonight, huh?”

 “Nah. Not even a little.”

 He laughed and shook his head. “I can imagine your brother and like a brother are losing their minds tonight.”

 “He is not my brother,” you said on an exasperated breath.

 “So what is he?”

 You looked back to where they were sitting and found your brother’s attention elsewhere with his other friends that were now swarming the table, but Chris’ eyes were locked on you, and he looked pissed.

 “He is my brother’s best friend—that’s all.”

 Elijah came closer to you dipping to your ear. He was so close you felt his lips against the shell of it. Before that would have made you shiver—or something. Now, there was nothing.

 “He doesn’t look at you like that’s all.”

 The fuck, you thought. Glancing at Elijah he nodded. “Just sayin.”

 You looked back to Chris and still his eyes were boring a hole into you. You snorted; Elijah was mistaken.

 “You’re wrong. He even said he sees me like a sister. Calm down.”

 Elijah wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you against him. “Just making sure you know what’s up, girl.”

 You laughed. A few minutes after your first drink was in you, Elijah led you to the dancefloor and this was where the fun began. Elijah had always been a good dancer and he liked to show off often. You allowed him to lead you into a sexy, dirty dance and let him touch on your waist and back. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t touched on before. When you were flush against him, Elijah nipped your neck then whispered in your ear about how sexy you looked and how delicious you smelled. You wondered how long he’d been here and how much he’d had to drink.

 Turning you pressed your back and ass into him and winded your hips. Elijah could handle himself and liked to let you know it and he didn’t let you break him not even for a second. You laughed.

 “See girl, I can handle your ass.”

 You snorted. “Boy, you can’t handle it. Hence you being an ex.”

 Laughing at his reaction you pushed him away then walked off the dancefloor. From the corner of your eye, Chris caught your eye leaning against the railing of the balcony. Had he been watching this whole time? You approached him once you climbed the steps.

“Enjoying yourself?”

 “Not as much as you.”

 “You’re welcomed to go. I bet you can find a scene more your style, or maybe a bottle girl can sit on your lap here too.”

 He scoffed. “IG stalking?”

 “Never. No man deserves that.”

 Not even me?”

 He leaned a little closer with one eyebrow cocked.

 “Especially you.”

 He laughed to himself then took a sip from his glass.

 “Why’s he an ex?”

 “Why are you so nosey?”

 “Just curious. It must not have been anything bad because you’re still—close.”

 “Not that close. Every once in a while we hook up but it’s nothing.”

 You saw the muscles in his jaw clench and your curiosity piqued.

 “Is that a problem?”

 He studied you and the scrutinous eyes were back. It was astonishing how one look like this from him made you feel small and submissive.

 “We all got needs right? Maybe don’t tell your actual brother that though.”

 “Ah but I can tell you—my nonactual brother. Right?”

 He looked at you again a half-amused smirk on his lips. “Yeah. Your nonactual brother.”

 You both chuckled to yourselves. After a few moments, you looked at him and took him in. He wore a nice coordinated blue outfit, a fitted sky-blue sweater vest inside a slightly different shaded blue blazer with matching pants. It was another good fit. Blue was definitely his color. Hearing him clear he throat; you found his eyes on you as your eyes were below his waist admiring the shape of his ass in those well fitting blue slacks.

 “Em. Uh—thank you again for the—gift.”

 “No worries. Maybe you’ll think of me when you use it.”

 “Is that what you want? Me to think of you?”

 Your eyes locked again. He slowly sighed. “You’ve changed a lot in four years binky.”

 You could hear the stress in his voice as if it was the last thing he’d expected or wanted.

 “Is that a bad thing?”

 Chris looked away and spoke as he raised his glass to his lips. “Incredibly bad.”

 “Why?”

 “Nothing good can come from it.”

 You were confused. What was he talking about? He turned to walk off but stopped.

 “You coming, binky?”

 Shaking it off, you followed him back to the table.

 The night was spent drinking, laughing and dancing your ass off. You knew your brother’s friends were a good time, but you’d forgotten how fun they were. In between joking around with them you danced with a brave few who breached the huddle to ask you to dance. When that happened everyone’s eyes were on you watching to make sure none of them pulled anything. It was endearing but you weren’t some fragile dove who needed protecting. More times than not, Chris watched you, but he didn’t speak to you again and when your eyes locked his jaw clenched. It was bewildering, a puzzle you wanted to piece together.

 A few hours later in the middle of a dance with your brother, he pulled Chris over telling him to take his place while he refilled his drink. Both of you stood there in an awkward way unsure how to initiate a dance let alone together. Slowly you began dancing but your bodies remained very far from one another. In all your years of knowing each other you’d never found yourself in this situation. You doubted you’d even been on a dancefloor together.

 Suddenly a fight broke out behind you, a large body was hurtling right to you and the next thing you knew you were against Chris’ body with his arms wrapped around you. Your eyes met and everything happening around you faded away. There were no bodies, no commotion, no fights, hell even the music was gone. In the darkness of the club, you could still make out the exact shade of blue his eyes were—light icy blue. Good God, you thought noticing the way he held you.

 His hands gripped your waist and hip and the way he gripped you gave you an impression of just how big his hands were—they were mammoth sized. Your belly quivered, and the searing heat from those paws only made it worse. You could feel your nipples pebble underneath the thin material of your metallic dress, and you wondered if he felt it too. The grip of his hand on your hip tightened and for a moment his eyes tinted darker—much darker.

 “Fuck,” you whispered.

 For the first time you noticed your back was pressed to something and that was when you realized that in the commotion, Chris had gotten you off the dancefloor away from danger and you were not tucked into a dark corner. A very dark corner. Chris’ eyes never left yours and from the way your body pressed to his you knew he was built under that shirt. He was in the best shape of his life. Your eyes dipped to his chest where the hints of his chest tattoos peeked out along with a little bit of chest hair. He smelled good.

 “God damn,” you whispered.

 Chris groaned and the rumble of it only made your nipples harden more—painfully so. They were practically begging to be touched.

 “You—you okay?”

 You met his eyes again and bit your top lip. “You?”

 Chris’ eyes dropped to your lips and the longing you saw in his eyes made you press against him more.

 “Jesus,” he hissed out.

 “What?”

 “Unfuckinbelievable, you’re oblivious,” Chris forced out.

 The hand that was on your waist was gone and now pressed into the wall, caging you in.

 “Oblivious to what?”

 He looked at you and he almost looked like he was pleading with you for something. His hand on your hip tightened again and a flutter against your belly stole your breath. Before you could register what it was or acknowledge it, you heard him start with the first syllable of your name, but it was so low you could miss it, but what came out was not your name.

 “Binky.”

 He pulled away from you, steadied your frame, then dropped his hands. Keeping his head low he spoke.

 “Let’s get you back.”

 As he walked away it was then you realized why he only ever called you Binky and it wasn’t to tease you. It was to keep himself in check. That was an erection you felt against your belly. He wanted you.

  ~~~~~~~~

 The best laid plans often go awry. That was the theme of your night. By the time you made it back to your apartment it was nearly three in the morning, and you were alone. You’d left with every intention of getting Elijah behind you to relive an itch that had crept up on you, but you’d left alone with more of an itch and plenty of confused questions. After wracking your brain for answers and clues, you decided you were drunk and imagining things. There was no way your brother’s best friend and your nemesis had gotten a hard on from you. There was no way he wanted you like that, no way he saw you like that. Right?

 Sitting on your kitchen island with your bottle of Patron to your lips, you thought over the events of the night. You analyzed every word spoken from his lips. Ten years ago they weren’t so full, or so hypnotizing. You began to wonder if he’d had work done on them or had he just used them so much over the years that they’d just gotten better. You took another gulp of the fiery tequila and held your breath as the burn engulfed your mouth. As you thought over your night you kept coming back to the look of disapproval on Chris’ face. He looked annoyed whenever you were around anyone else, but looked angry when you were around him. What kind of confusing shit is that?

 “Nothing good can come from it.”

 His words echoed in your head.

 “What the fuck did that mean?”

 Then you remembered him saying you were oblivious. After another gulp you groaned.

 “It was a fucking erection. He was hard.”

 You didn’t imagine that shit or wish it so. It was so. Faced with it, you had to take another swig. As you did you heard the faintest of knocks on your door. It startled you so much some of the Patron spilled over your chest and down between your breasts.

 “Shit,” you hissed sitting quietly craning your head to hear better.

 When no sounds followed you dropped back across the island and stared at the ceiling. In the silence of your apartment and under the haze of the smorgasbord of alcohol you’d drunk through the night you finally faced the uncomfortable, terrifying, but certain truth.

 “I am attracted to him.”

 Another truth quickly followed. “I want him to want me.”

 This one you said on a whisper as if you said it with bass the walls would hear and carry the confession down the hall, down the stairs and right to his ears in your brother’s apartment where he was probably knocked out from his own alcohol haze. Sighing you closed your eyes.

 “You’re just drunk and horny, Y/N. That is all.”

 Deciding maybe all you needed was to rub one out, you propped your heeled feet at the edge of the island spreading wide for no one but your smart fridge. In your mind’s eye you imagined there was something there and that someone just so happened to have Chris’ face. Rather than pausing to think why, you forged ahead and decided to use the mental stimuli. Your fingers crept over your breast, squeezing and taunting your nipple before dipping down between your legs. You slid your slinky thong to the side you trailed the tips of your fingers over your slit. A hiss escaped you when you found what you knew you would—a wet slippery mess.

 “Fuck,” you croaked.

 You had intended to go slow and tease your release but that one touch and the vision of Chris standing there watching you tipped you over the edge. Your finger circled your clit using the moisture there as lubricant. After a few tight circles, your spine tingled and your knees fell back even more.

 “Uuugh. Chris,” you whispered.

 You imagined his cocky smirk and you slipped two fingers into your heat and pumped immediately upon entrance. Your back arched off the island and that was all it took for you to be off to the races. Your moans and pants filled the space and steadily became louder and more desperate. You squeezed your eyes tightly holding on to the image of Chris in your mind and how he would look watching you get off. Would he like how wet you were just for him?

 “Yes, Chris. Chris—haaaa, I’m so wet. Yes—make me cum, I wanna cum.”

 The fingers now making fast, wide circles on your clit and the two fingers buried within yourself picked up speed and the sound of your wetness squelching around your digits echoed in the kitchen. You were so fucking wet it was unbelievable. No one had ever made you this wet. You could feel the pressure building within you, feel the tension and icy hot tingles that resembled the painful pinpricks of an asleep limb. You felt like this was going to be a massive orgasm.

 Gasping you held your breath as the sensations overtook you and carried you wherever the hell they wished. You screeched and clamped your legs together, but your hands kept moving and inching you higher and higher and higher until your chest burned from lack of oxygen.

 “Aaaah, Chris, fuuuck!”

 Opening your eyes just a sliver an upside-down image of a blue blazer clad man standing just at your door flashed before you closed them for a few moments getting lost in the absolute bliss you felt. Your body felt weightless, like it was floating as tingles skittered all through you making you feel like you were magic itself, sheer powerful and ethereal magic. Your eyes fluttered open again and the figure still stood there. Through your blurry eyes you recognized the face—Chris.

 You smirked, a wide gleeful, intoxicated smile spreading across your face. You were so out of it you were still imagining him as you rode the waves of pleasure, pleasure that heightened because of his face in your mind. You bit your bottom lip, withdrew your fingers then brought them up holding your hand out as if you wanted the imaginary figure to taste them—taste you. Your eyes closed again and seconds later you swore you felt a warm mouth enclose around your dripping fingers. Soft pressure wrapped around them then you heard a heady groan.

 “So fucking delicious.”

 You smirked again. “Mmmm.”

 A soft lips pressed against your wrist then a sharp nic. Then your hand clattered to the island. Your eyes felt heavy and body barely there, fluttering your eyes open again you looked around, but you were alone. It was just you, sprawled out on your island countertop daydreaming about and cumming to the face of your brother’s best friend. You were so fucked.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 -Sunday-

  You groaned deeply as, Evan, the masseuse labored over you. He pushed into your flesh kneading your tense muscles not taking it easy on you per your request. Every time he applied enough pressure to realign a spine you groaned.

 “Are you sure it’s not too much?”

 “No—I need—all of this.”

 “Stressful day yesterday?”

 You scoffed remembering your actions last night. After your release on the island top and a quick nap that you awoke from in a fevered frenzy due to yet another wet dream. This wet dream led you to the shower where you once again found a release. Then when you thought you’d get some relief to sleep it was not to be, you went for round three and four back-to-back. You’d woken up this morning high strung and on edge. The softest material on your breasts sent you into arousal, everything sent you that much closer to needing to stick your hand down your pants. You’d never felt this out of control in your entire sexual life. this prepubescent boy shit did not happen to you.

 “I guess that’s a word for it.”

 “Well, I’m a good listener if you want to talk about it.”

 Putting words to the things going through your head were dangerous. Did you have the balls to face it? should you even face it? You wouldn’t see him again probably for another four years. did your current malfunction matter in the grand scheme of things? Once he left you could push it to the side and bury it in your closet never touching it again. Your horniness of today could be forgotten tomorrow. That was just what it was after all—horniness. Nothing more. 

It’s not like you wanted to go on dates, spend weekends together, cuddle in bed while whispering your secrets and fears, or have Sunday dinners with family, or exchange birthday gifts, Christmas presents or even kiss at midnight on new years. You didn’t want boo’d up or couple antics. Right? This was Chris Evans after all. Your brother’s best friend from college, his frat brother whose sordid past you knew all about. This was the man who’d teased you about everything, the way you dressed, wore your hair, did your nails, walked, talked, ate. Hell he even teased you over the men you dated or spent your time with.

 “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with it,” Evan said breaking through your thoughts.

 “That’s not it Evan,” you said before you sighed. “The thing is I think I might want to—to have sex with my brother’s best friend.”

 You closed your eyes allowing the words you said to float in the open air for the first time ever.

 “Sooo—have sex with him.”

 You snorted then laughed loudly. He made it sound so simple. Men, you thought.

 “I’m sorry am I being obtuse? “

 You glanced back at him, “Obtuse, Evan?”

 “What? Men read too.”

 You snorted and nodded laying back down. “You right.”

 “Seriously. What’s the problem with that? There must be something that’s a no-no about it.”

 “He’s my brother’s best friend—my older brother’s best friend.”

 “So he’s old? How old?”

 “Maybe forty.”

 “Forty? Is this a young forty or didn’t age well forty?”

 “Young in the prime of his life forty,” you replied.

 “Girl you better buss it open.”

 You laughed again hearing Evan voice the words you’d screamed at yourself internally.

 “I don’t see a problem.”

 “So it’s not a no-no when you think of my brother?”

 “You’re not fucking your brother.”

 You nearly vomited in your mouth.

 “Sorry, but am I right or right?”

 Sighing you nodded.

 “Don’t let an older man scare you away either. I am currently boo’d up with this man who is nearly sixteen years older than me. I was apprehensive at first but honestly we have a lot in common and the bedroom—sheets on fire.”

 You squealed for him.

 “Now you gotta be honest with yourself. Is it you wanna fuck him or be with him?”

 “Nope. I don’t wanna be with him,” you quickly corrected.

 “Okay then it seems you know what you want. Get it poppin’.”

 Were you over thinking this?

 Two hours later, you were in your elevator arms filled with shopping bags and a slightly new outlook. You’d been getting ahead of yourself. You had no confirmation that this was something real and not imagined in your horny brain. You were here operating like it was said and done but it wasn’t. He could seriously not even want you like that. He could really just see you as a sister and then that would put all this in perspective. You were getting way ahead of yourself.

 Once the doors opened on your floor, you walked to your door and found a package sitting there. You found your name and your brother’s name on the box and instantly knew it was a care package from your parents. They were crazy. They only lived thirty or so minutes away. They could easily bring things to you but that one time when they walked in on Yvette and their son was one time too much. They vowed to not do stop bys anymore unless it was scheduled in advance. You usually opened them together then divided the spoils.

 Grabbing the box, you turned right back around and walked back into the still waiting elevator. A few moments later the doors opened on your brother’s floor. It didn’t take long to get to his door and when you did you used your spare key. You walked inside and placed your bags down then put the box on the dining table. After taking out your EarPods you heard a muffled voice.

 Freezing you listened trying to decipher whose voice it was. You took slow steps to the closed doors. Your brother’s was silent, but you could not hear clearer. It was coming from the guest room. It must have been Chris. For some reason you didn’t think he'd be here. You knew your brother was out getting a cut and just expected him to have taken Chris along for the experience. Guess not, you thought.

 You made a move to leave but then you heard a deep, guttural, exaggerated and plenty accented “fuck.” Your head snapped to the door while you stayed right where you were. A long hiss came next and a yelp. Curiosity took over then. With steady and cautious steps you approached the door of the guest room listening extra carefully. A loud groan followed nearly startling you out of your skin stopping you in your tracks. When the door didn’t open you closed the space and leaned on the wall pressing your ear closer.

 “Ahhhh, yeeeees!”

 Gahdamn, you thought. You had no idea his voice could get so deep. That was all it took for your panties to moisten. You pressed closer needing to hear more. It was obvious what was happening. He was getting a nooner out. You heard strangled whimpers and several huffs of breath—pants. He was panting and he sounded so desperate. You thought of the way he stroked himself. How did he like it? Slow and tight? Fast and lose? A mixture of the two? Was he going fast now? What was he thinking about? Did he rub his thumb over the tip to tease himself more?

 “I’m so fucking hard for you. Yes! Play with that pussy.”

 Your fingers tingled with the desire to move; you knew where they wanted to go. Fighting the urge you pressed your ear closer. His pants were no breathy, eager, and so fucking sexy. He moaned again, hissed then yelped. With that one yelp your hand clamped over your breasts. You’d never been happier to have gone braless. You slipped your hand under the hang of your crop top and teased your nipple.

 “Arch that back. Fuck I’m gonna cum. Ah, shit! Delicious.”

 You could hear his strokes now he was going for it, and you would have given anything to watch him go. His moans became muffled as if he were clamping his hand over his mouth. He said something muffled that you couldn’t make out, so you got closer. You were practically pressing your ear to the door now.

 “Fuck! Y/N!”

 The shock of it made you gasp. Realizing you’d made a sound you slapped your hand over your mouth. Before you could rush off the door flung open and there he stood with a flushed face and in a white men’s tank and black sweats. Neither of you spoke, you just stared at one another. His chest heaved like he’d been running but you knew that wasn’t why. Your eyes fell to his chest where his gold St. Christopher’s chain hung around his neck just between the peeks of his chest tatts. Had you been immune all these years? Had you worn some unknown talisman that blocked you off from all of this and now it’s effectiveness had worn off? Where the fuck was all this coming from?

 “Uh---,” Chris began.

 “I didn’t hear anything,” you rushed out turning to walk off, but Chris’ hand grabbed your wrist pulling you back and right up against the wall. Your breath hitched from the action but when your eyes met his, your knees nearly gave out.

 “No? Nothing?”

 Your eyes locked, you didn’t dare speak so you shook your head.

 “Nothing at all?”

 He stepped closer. You could feel the heat rolling off of him, coaxing your body index to raise. You were in deep shit.

 “Nothing? Not one word, or a sound, or—a name?”

 His face came so close all you had to do was take the remaining two or so inches. Still, you didn’t move or speak.

 “Is this payback? Me hearing you, now you hearing me?”

 Confusion swirled in your head but slowly you understood. Last night. You didn’t imagine him at the door. You didn’t imagine him watching you with your back arched off the counter. Your eyes bugged. If you didn’t imagine that then—he’d watched you get off with his name on your lips. Lips. His mouth.

 “I can still taste you. Guess I know why he calls you peaches now.”

 Holy shit. Your knees chose that moment to give out, but he was right there holding you up and against him. You could feel his hardness. He was still hard. Chris looked from your eyes to your breasts that were painfully pebbled and pressing against his scantily clad chest. His jaw clenched again.

 “Jesus fucking Chris, binky.”

 With that he pulled off of you backed to the opposite wall to press his back against. He looked like he was in pain.

 “Get outta here.”

 He said it softly, but you stayed where you were.

 “And if I don’t?”

 His eyebrow flicked up and those blue orbs scanned your body as he licked his lips.

 “Then I am going to do something that your brother will kill me for.”

 Still not moving you bit your bottom lip. “Such as?”

 He scoffed and shook his head. “Something you don’t want.”

 “What makes you think I don’t want it? I could want it—very much.”

 Chris took a step to you, stopped then backed away. “Get outta here, Binky. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

 “I have a name.”

 “Oh I know your name.”

 “When will you use it?”

 Chris cocked his head to the side. “This isn’t a fucking game. Not one of our battle of the wits or words. This is--.”

 “What is it Chris? Is it you wanting to fuck your best friend’s sister as much as she wants to fuck you?”

 He sucked in a breath, dropped his head back and put his hands on his head rubbing his face.

 “You’re going to—go Binky. This isn’t happening.”

 With that he walked off going back in the room slamming the door behind him leaving you in the hall to face the rejection.

~~~~~~~~

 That night you decided a home night was what you needed. The last place you wanted to be was around Chris or your brother. So after a rejuvenating bath, you put on your comfiest set, lit every candle you owned, turned on your mellow out playlist and indulged in one of your favorite bottles of wine. The quiet was welcomed. You had no problem being alone, a lot of times you preferred it. With the lights off and the celestial lamp Chris gave you on you found your nerves easing. A lot had changed this weekend. He wanted you as much as you wanted him, but he had a point, if he acted on it their friendship could be ruined. Was one night really worth that?

 Your hormones said yes, it’s well worth it but they’d been friends for such a long time. They were really close. The trust between them was on a whole nother level. It would be crossing a line. Right? You guzzled the wine not stopping until it was empty. As you walked across to the kitchen to get another bottle you decided to avoid him for the remainder of the time he was here. That was the only way for this to fade away. Space and time were all that was needed for this all to be a distant awkward memory. Hell maybe one day you’d both laugh about it.

 You walked back to the living room, but the bell stopped you. After a quick glance at the clock, you approached it. It was after eleven. You weren’t expecting anyone tonight. Peeping through the hole you looked into Chris’ face. He was staring right at you. Slowly you backed away.

 “I know you’re there.”

 Still you remained quiet and brought the wine to your head.

 “Come on, Binky.”

 “What do you want?”

 He didn’t speak automatically, and you went closer wondering if he’d left. As you went to the peep hole you heard his voice and stopped.

 “God help me---you.”

 “I don’t know what that means.”

 He released a groaned sigh. “You know what it means.”

 “Good night Chris.”

 “Fuck. Don’t be difficult. I know you want me as much as I want you,” he said lowly.

 “Did you expect this to be easy?”

 He groaned. “Nothing is ever easy with you.”

 “So speak your heart or go on and jerk another load.”

 “I want you. I want to—touch you, to smell your neck, to hear you whisper my name as you take my cock. Jesus Christ, I want you to take all of this cock. I can’t stop—thinking about it—about you.”

 Your belly did somersaults.

 “I want to taste you—again and again.”

 It should have been shameful how wet you got hearing this. You still wanted to hear one more thing. So you waited. After a minute Chris sighed.

 “Y/N.”

 It was a strangled whisper. Bingo, you thought as you unlocked the door opening it just a little. Chris looked you from head to toe then licked his lips.

 “Say it again.”

 He walked inside, kicked the door shut with his foot then said your name again. Gahdamn his voice was deep again. You continued to back away from him, but he followed, stalking you like a predator. When you felt the island at your back, you put the wine bottle down and allowed him to close the space between you.

 “Are you sure?”

 “You sound scared old man. I thought you were in the prime of your life.”

 His lips quirked and seconds later he was on you lifting you then plopping you on the countertop.

 “You and this mouth.”

 “What about it?”

 Chris grabbed the nape of your neck bringing your face to his and whatever sly comment you had ready to fire at him disappeared on your tongue. The look in his eyes made you feel like he was going to devour you.

 “Mouthy girls need their mouths stuffed. Is that what you want?”

 You nodded. Chris’s hands came to your crop top and before you knew what was what, he was ripping it in half revealing your bare breasts to his eyes for the first time.

 “Fucking Christ!”

 When his lips came around your nipple you arched back jutting them further out for him to feast. He did just that. His mouth and tongue sloppily devoured your pert nipples licking, nibbling, biting and marking. You didn’t care, it felt too good. Your moans tumbled from your lips and filled the space around you. When you felt liquid streaming down your chest, you opened your eyes and found him pouring the bottle of wine you’d been holding over your skin. His mouth was there to slurp up the liquid. Any droplets he missed his tongue took care of. When he dipped his tongue into your belly button, you instinctively draped your legs over his shoulders.

 The bottle clattered to the countertop and his hands found your G-string panties and again the material was ripped. He grabbed your thighs and pressed them apart back to the counter and stared at your sex. The way he looked at you should have made you self-conscious, but it didn’t. You wanted him to look. You wanted him to know that this pretty pussy was always here, and he’d been missing out.

 “Such a pretty pussy.”

 “It tastes good too.”

 Chris smirked then buried his face between your legs. His intention wasn’t to tease you. No, it was to shut you up. He’d told you plenty of times your love of talking back would one day get you in trouble. You wondered if this was that day. You gasped loudly when he sucked your clit into his mouth and applied so much pressure you thought he’d bruise you.

 “Ah, fuck!”

 You gripped his head, digging your fingers into his hair using it to steer his head. Chris wasn’t having it though. He wanted full control. When you began bucking against his lips sliding your wetness across his lips and beard he moaned. Pulling his head back he locked eyes with you then spit on your pussy. Holy fuck you thought, he was nasty. It wasn’t long before he motor boarded your pussy, making you drop back onto the counter completely. Writhing against the cold surface you panted, moaned, whimpered, and cursed every imaginable curse in the English language.

 “Fuck Chris!”

 “Mmm, this pussy is delicious.”

 He quickly flicked his tongue against your clit then sank two of his digits inside of you.

 “Goddamn you’re tight, Y/N.”

 He pumped his fingers into you a few times each time taking them further and further, when he used his thumb to swirl your numb you saw stars and not the light show currently going on above you from the lamp.

 “Fuuuuck!”

 Before you registered it you felt him rub himself against your sex. Snapping your head up to look your jaw dropped seeing him for the first time. He was hard, girthy and bigger than you expected. Your eyes met again, and his brow was cocked but he waited.

 “Fuck me.”

 Chris scoffed then spit on your pussy once more, though you both knew it didn’t need any more moisture. You were one category below a Tsunami. He pressed forward sending the thick tip in and lord hard mercy you didn’t think you could take a slow decent. Locking your ankles behind him, you pulled him in sucking his  full length into your body.

 “Holy Fuck!”

 The wideness of his eyes said he was just as shocked as your body was. Though it was humming from bliss, his size was a bit of a shock. The two of you must have been feeling the same thing because seconds later Chris’ lips were on yours locking you into a kiss—your first ever. He didn’t kiss the way you’d expected either. This was the kiss of a man with experience, a man with swag, a man with passion. As his tougne swirled around yours, you began rolling your hips moving your body like a tsunami wave fucking him as he stood there. When he whimpered you knew you had him, however he pushed you down onto the counter, gripped your hips then plowed into you.

 “Oh god!”

 He moved with precision as if he knew just what your body needed. With every thrust, he nudged that special spot within you that you knew you’d be begging him to hit again and again.

 “Yes, yes, there! There! Fuck—me!”

 His thrusts sped and his grip tightened. When he moved his hands from your hips to your thighs he splayed you open like a freshly gutted fish and went to town. The bright spots of light you saw behind your eyes intensified and you knew you were close.

 “You feel so good—better than—Uuugh!”

 Suddenly a look of aggression came across Chris’ features and that was when he lifted your bottom half off the countertop hitting a whole new angle. That was when your first orgasm erupted from you. You clamped down around him. The action that would have made any other man cum only made him fuck you harder. You yelped as he pulled you up then yanked you to the edge of the counter so only half your ass sat. He sunk into a slightly squatted position then pistoned upward like his cock was a rocket shit and your depths was the expanse of space that he wanted to fully explore, claim and mark.

 Your skin tingled, lungs burned, and ass hurt from the press of the hard countertop into your flesh, but you ignored it. It was all worth it because the pleasure you felt was something otherworldly, something transcendent, something alien.

 “God damn Y/N, you make me want to cum, but I can’t. I can’t stop fucking this tight juicy little pussy.”

 You gripped his shoulders then slid forward a little then began riding him as he pummeled your pussy with everything he had. Chris shouted then released a sound that to you sounded like a growl. You didn’t know and didn’t care. All you knew was you were rounding on orgasm number three and your body was still on fire begging for more.

 “You take this cock so well princess. So—fucking—well!”

 Squeezing him you let your release take you and when you heard him whine your fourth overpowered you. Chris held your hips right where they were then used your body as he saw fit. You could tell from the look in his eyes he’d lost all control, all senses and was only chasing the same rainbow waterfall that you’d touched several times already.

 “Fuck! I’m gonna cum.”

 “Cum for me baby, cum for me. Give this tight pussy everything you have.”

 “You want it?”

 “I want it.”

 “You want this cum, Y/N?”

 “Yes, fill me up, mark this pussy up!”

 Chris squeezed your hip and ass, laughed forward once, then twice and on the third thrust you fell apart at the same time he did. The gush of him filling you up was so overwhelming that your body gave out. Chris’ quick thinking brought you back onto the counter just in time. He flicked his hips forward with baby thrusts still reveling in his release. You didn’t know how long you stayed there but you knew everything was different now. Slowly you began laughing. Chris weakly popped his head up, resting his chin between the swells of your breasts. As you laughed they softly slapped against his face.

 “What’s so funny?”

 “Nothing—just—just thinking.”

 “What?”

 He raised up but not by much, just enough to take your nipple into his mouth and suck, bringing fire right back to your flesh.

 “This is what I’ve been missing out on all this time.”

 You felt him lurch inside of you beginning to harden again if he had even ever softened.

 “Not satisfied?”

 You scoffed then shook your head. Chris raised his brow.

 “I’ve always been a greedy woman—and this pussy--,” you squeezed him for emphasis.

 “Is even greedier.”

 A slow smile spread his lips. “Greedy girls get fucked within an inch of their life.”

 “I’m counting on it.”

 You at up and crashed your lips to his. Chris lifted you holding you in the air with just the tip of his intrusion filling you as your lips and tongues danced together. Your eye caught the time and you smiled on his mouth.

 “Happy birthday old man.”

 He groaned then dropped you down onto his cock full force. You screeched as he filled you completely with the brutal help of gravity.

 “Prime of my life. I hope you know that you will get no sleep tonight.”

 You smiled.

 “The lord did say there is no rest for the wicked.”

 You kissed again and he carried you through your apartment. Sleep was the last thing you wanted tonight. 

The absolute last thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List:

@chaneajoyyy @caplover22​ @caramara3 @southerngracela @cyntgefel01 @vannahvannahhh @lorainnebabyy @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @theblulife @kelbabyblue @bugngiz @kikimiyazaki @toniilaney @areubeingserved @chaos-crusader @thinkxlovexloud @cocothewriter @periodtcevans @bellaamor88 @mack-jay @titty-teetee @pananegra @wellthirsted @sup3rn0va13 @nova3312 @hello-therree @valkyriesnymph @squeackygee @niyashell @allmonstersxarehuman @zsuzstyina @peggy-potts @amelatonin @lvlyab @sullyosully @taylorveebee @renesmeeharelds @capslut2014 @ilovehatembj @thelittlemoistcarrot @sarcastic-sunshines @a-dizzle777 @taylorveebee @jesseswartzwelder @90sinspiredgirl @allnamesicouldthinkofweretaken @choices97  @jd-now-jq @actorinfluence @chrisgalore @rynabarnesrogers @ab-baybay @motivation-idontknowher @lo-cheu  @builtalongthewaysi @momobaby227@drsunshine97 @cleothegoldfish @mauvecherie-writes​

@thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @queenbetter @ilovehatembj @briellableu @zaddysqueen7 @melaninhawtie @simplyyamberr  @ashanti-notthesinger @chezdricks @euh-say-what-now @afraiddreamingandloving @ajspencer1892 @wakanda-inspired @chillavesss @theunsweetenedtruth @geeksareunique @aykanna @hanasamara @profilia @ollieveracity @autumn242 @missyperle @forbeautyandlife @kreolemami @songtoyou @designerwriterchic @firedolphin04 @academic-glowup @periodtcevans @nova3312 @naturalthrone22 @squeackygeecapslut2014 @queen-audsalena

@unknownmystery22 @thatcrazymarvelfan @mizcaptainwidow @angrybirdcr @cherrystainedlipsbaby @marvelfansworld @fanfictionaffair @kemkem101 @blowmymbackout @almostpurelysmut @blackgurlkillinit @simply-heaven @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @renfrewscorner @choices97 @phreshouttherunwaaayy @heladoom @alyxkbrl @thejeneralvicinity @littlepreciousangel @evemej​ @queensevansackles @rosey1981 @laketaj24 @minton131 @trillistb @night-of-the-living-shred @chrisevansfanfic @scoop93535 @miss-jackson500 @purplehairgawdess @ollieveracity @maddeningmayhem @what-is-your-plan-today @tantricevans @evermcfearless @richonne4life @dumbchick @toni9 @briellableu @amennariee @rynabarnesrogers-reading @chrissbabybunny @brwnsugababe @queenshikongo3 @sadishdelray @what-is-your-plan-today @islanddgal @reignandrain @liquorlaughslove @doublesidedscoobysnacks @thefuckingluxury @surmya1907 @maeleeme @queenoftheworldisdead @coolbakeryprunetoad @naturalthrone22 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @starlite-starbrite @offrostandstarlight @zeedaye @partypoison00

@imthatbitchsworld @soul–notforsale @toni9 @someone-really-bored @venustrap04 @chrisevansdaddycap @kittykatlow @live-laugh-love-ki @asiaaisa77 @melanicia @fistmetonystark @storiestoldbyjazz @xsweetdellzx @jennmurawski13 @livinglifeformemyselfandi @crowngold @krrose3 @allnamesicouldthinkofweretaken @lost- ssoull @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @shar74nett @cltex84 @badbitchhtown @petty-bitch-akira  @cxmfort​ @unknownmystery22 @raveviolet @madixii @imthewarmpenguininthemiddle @ak329  @bernie-k @nina1800 @almosttherebutnot @smediumsmeatbae @nervousninjatheorist @lo-cheu @creole-mami @acciolove724 @shipatheart @captainchrisstan @ramp-it-up @bforbbgirl @i-just-like-fanfics @brownskinafro @jhayes6984 @badbo1-evans @msblkfire84 @jovanaprime @poshgirl2 @marvelatthis30 @littlepreciousangel @youremysuperstar @alookintohersoul @cleopatra-knowles @parkker-barrnes  @zeelmol @qualitynightkoala @colorfullydone @jurneesjourney @unsaltedalmonds @basicchelsea

[unhingedhousehold]

count the sheep

summary: you can't sleep and bradley passed his sweet mom's genius method to help you.

lol. omg. was scrolling through tumblr when i found this post and one of the reblogs said they used to go through alphabet and name a person they love whose name starts with each letter and... that's how i gave birth to my 2nd story lol who would've thought I'll have 2 babies!

this story is so funny in my head sffdgfgr i had so much fun writing this sfagafwfsgsgsgsgdg okay enough with the giggles

pairing: bradley bradshaw x reader (reader has hair)

warnings: mentions of bradley's parents, mentions of pineapples on pizza (lol), mentions of mint choco flavor (lol again), implied smut, a bit of marriage proposal thought (bradley is a simp), bradley saying fuck!!, my knowledge about natops and navy based on my 5 mins google research so apologize for any mistakes, english isnt my 1st language so you know the sorry for any inaccurate words and bad grammar drill!!

words: around 2k i think

i don't consent my work being translated or copied, please be respectful of someone's work!

Bradley felt like it's been hours since you've been turning and tossing on your side of bed when in fact, it's only been around 30 minutes. He already turned off the lamp, a playlist created to help both of you to sleep soundly still playing, yet you're still wide awake squirming trying to sleep. You were in his embrace earlier, but escaped because you simply just can't stop moving and shift your body a bit from Bradley's. He heard you grunt, and that's his cue to get you back to his embrace, his arms wrapped around your body and chin on your hair.

“I say this with so much love, please stop squirming or I'll have to tie you on the headboard.” He heard you chuckling and even though he can't see you but somehow, he's able to detect there would be a witty answer from your upcoming reply.

“Oh kinky, wouldn't be the first time though.”

See?! You and your smart mouth will be the death of him!

“Pervert. Seriously, what's up? You're usually the first one to go to the dreamland. Try to relax and stop thinking, okay? We had a long day; let's rest our tired body, yeah?”

You sighed, feeling guilty and trying to escape again from his embrace so he'll be able to have his sleep, “That's what I've been trying. Sorry. Maybe I should be sleeping on the cou��” he stops you with a kiss on your lips, “Nah, don't apologize,” and tightens his grip to prevent you from getting away again, "and not a chance."

You relented and hugged him back, with muffled voice, you reason, “This is why you shouldn't let Bob chose a movie. I don't do well with horror.”

“He won today's quiz from Cyclone. Phoenix would've killed me if I interfered with Bob's choice of movie. Besides, you have your eyes closed the entire time the movie is on! And you know it yourself you will never be able to say no to Bob.”

You smiled fondly at his statement, recalling the time when Bob offered you to try his mint choco flavored ice cream and you ended up liking it to normal amount (up to this day, Fanboy still convincing you you're basically having toothpaste as a dessert. Hangman as the Vice President of Mint Choco Ice Cream Lovers kicked his ass for that). “Bob is really the worst enabler in my life.”

You can feel Bradley's laughter from the way his chest grumbled. He then hummed along the song that's currently playing, usually his humming would help you sleep faster, yet it's not working.

You're tracing something on his back, from your initial to his, and mixed both of your initials when he started talking again, “You know, maybe I know a way. This is something my mom came up with when she was dealing with her insomnia.” He said it with so much ease, so different from years ago when he didn't even wanna talk about his mom. You started writing his Mom's name on his back.

“How?”

As he felt you writing the O letter, he answered, “Count the sheep.”

You stopped your movement from writing the I letter, “So I should literally counting them to thousands? I've made it past 300 only back then.”

(You remembered it because you had 3 coffees in one day thanks to back to back studying session you had to do during exam period.)

“No, you're not literally counting the sheep. It's more like you try to think of things that fit the topic you chose and count them, but don't google the answers. Just lay in bed and think of them.”

“Does it work for you?”

He answered when you just finished his Mom's name, and now you're going to write his Dad's, “Most of the times, yes.”

Bradley felt it when you're done writing NICHO, index finger about to start writing L when you quietly asked, “What kind of topic did you chose then?”

“Inactive United States Navy aircraft squadrons between 1980 to 2009. What's on NATOPS Pocket Checklist. NATOPS Emergency Procedure Basics–” before he can continue with more Navy related that you have no idea about, you looked up and kiss his lips tenderly to shut him up, “You're such a nerd.”

He laughed, kissing the top of your hair and defends himself. “Not always like that. Sometimes I think of ways to please you. My favorite topic to think about, honestly.”

You rolled your eyes, your hands that previously on his back smacked his ass lightly.

“Or you can use my mom's way, she told me to go through the alphabet and name a person I love whose name starts with each letter.” Bradley started writing something on your back, like you did earlier to his.

When you felt him writing your last name, that's when you found your voice back. “Hmm. Interesting.”

“Yeah, I used to do that a lot when I was a kid but I don't think I can do it now.”

“Why?”

“Because your letter is the only letter I can think of. I don't need to through from A to Z to think of someone I love.”

With your fist, you hit his chest lightly, “You're such a sap.”

“Only with you, sweets.”

His index finger started to write M, followed by R, S, continues with B, R, and then A. You had an idea what he was about to write, so you decide to try his Mom's method.

“Okay, I'll try.”

He just finished writing W with heart emoji in the end when he replied, “Go on. I'm listening.”

You wrote A on his chest, rocking your brain to come up with someone whose name starts with A.

“A.. I can't think of any A... Aaron?”

Bradley tensed up, the movement of his index finger trying to write the V letter suddenly stopped and shifted his body a bit to get a look at your face, “Who the hell is Aaron?”

“What? Urgh, I don't think this method will work. It's just one male name and you're already this worked up. How am I supposed to go through until Z?”

“The Aaron I know in your life was your ex-fling! You could've mentioned Ally!” Your brows furrowed, looking at him with confusion clouded your face, “She makes omelet you claimed is to die for at the diner we frequent to?”

You laughed at his goofy but correct answer, “You're unbelievable.”

You're back to his chest, writing B as the next letter. “Okay. B.. hmm...”

You both knew damn well who is the person going to be, but riling him up is your favorite thing to do so you made your voice to be the sweetest and full of hope voice that you'll certainly say one precise name.

“Oh I know, this is the easiest,” You practically can feel Bradley's anticipated eyes, smile at the ready and kisses that awaits you after you said one name, his fingers ready to write so much after he finished i love you on your back earlier.

(He's just that good with his timing, huh? You can't let him have his victory, though.)

“It's Bob! Next for C...”

Bradley released you from his embrace, fingers stilled in the air, and giving you that look when you told him you like your pizza with pineapples on it, “What the fuck?”

You showed him your innocent eyes, a kind of eyes that will let you get away with anything and everything, blinking them, “What? I'm doing it right! Bob starts with B!”

He huffed, hands covering his face dramatically, “You know there's someone else whose name starts with B.”

You taunt him, “Yeah? Who?”

Oh, he loves you so much for that.

He pouts, voice like a little kid whose mom rejected his idea to go biking with friends, “Oh come on, big elephant in the room?”

Your eyes lit up when he said that, as if you got what he meant by the elephant in the room.. because you should! How could you forget his name? A name that you're screaming to when he went down on you! A name you fervently vocalize when he's ball deep insi –

“Hmm.. Benjamin Penny?”

Shocked at your answer, his mouth goes wide open, formed a big O, “Are you kidding me?”

And what happened next was your laughter filled the room with Bradley hovering over you as he tickled you with so much force; from your waist to your sole, your stomach isn't lost on him as he blew so much raspberry on it. Not only that, he attacks you with kisses on your neck, biting the juncture between your shoulder and neck, the back of your ear tickles at how much force he puts to make you laugh that you can't say anything but laughing. When you got lost in the feeling, he's back on tickling your waist.

He's really good at memorizing your body, thanks to the amount of times he spent to explore on it. You decided you couldn't take another tease from him when you felt his right hand trying to make its way on between your closed legs, and as you tried to get away from his teasing by hitting his shoulder, an idea came up, “Stop it, Cradleeeey!” But it seems like he didn't hear you, looking at how his hands busy kneading the flesh of your thighs.

“Hey Dradley, stop it! Okay, I surrender!” He's now looking at you, confusion over his pretty face because he just registered what you just called him.

“What did you just call me?”

“Cradley. Dradley. Eradley? Bradley starts with E sounds so weird.” Both of his hands are now on your side, face inches away from yours, “Fradley is funny though. Oooh, Gradley?” You kissed his nose, and his cheeks as you said each name.

“Did you just change the first letter of my name?”

“Yeah. Now I know what you meant by elephant in the room! You said to go through the alphabet and name a person I love whose name started with each letter, right? Hradley sounds weirder than Eardley, don't you think?”

He laughed so hard at your expression and to muffle his chuckles, he hid his face on your neck. You can't help but to join him as you wrap your hands around his neck.

“Wait until we get to T.” He said after so much effort to stop his giggles.

“Oh my god! You're right. Hey, Tradley,” you giggled, amused by it and he kissed your forehead because he didn't want to interrupt your laughter and looked at you like you hung the moon (you did, according to him), “I don't think I'll be able to pronounce Xradley and Zradley well though.” You said the X and Z with struggles, and for your attempt to pronounce Yradley and Wradley next, he rewards you with a kiss to your lips, deepening it when he felt you opening your sweet lips to welcome him.

–––

And the next few weeks when Bradley was deployed and had a hard time sleeping, he chose his topic about ways on how to propose you. He woke up smiling as he vividly remembers what he came up with. He thanked his genius Mom for her count the sheep method; that's how he knows his Mom has always been, is always, and will always be with him, just like she promised.

the ending is a bit weird but whew 🥹🥲🫣 if you make it to the end, thank you for reading!

[rayshippouuchiha]

yo i'm seeing a lot of dishing about the purity culture of fandom and i absolutely agree

but i'd like to ask

do 'incest fic' count, i mean specifically i'm in the batfam fandom and if you try and write pairing with batman's adopted kids /former robins together everyone and their mother starts screaming at you both online and on ao3, and if you point out the lack of blood relation all you get it 'it's still incest oh my god you're a horrible person who doesn't believe in adopted sibling relationships' and like... i just wanna smush the two pretty vigilante characters together, it's very exhausting, and it also applies to discord, the fandom is very hardcore about policing this and like I get it to an extent because I've seen a lot of posts about how 'seeing batcest on my dash turns my stomach' 'having to scroll past bastcest on ao3 to get anything good is disturbing and disgusting' and tagging, is not enough for these people, i've seen some poor fools pointing out instances of real life adopted siblings who've ended up together due to the adoption being their parents decision ect and the vitriol that's met with is very aggressive, they basically just don't want it to exist and don't want people who ship it to feel safe talking about it out in the open on tumblr because it's weird and something to feel ashamed of that you shouldn't force 'normal people' to see.

And it's like, why do I have to be treated like a fucking leper in online spaces over a ship? It's literally scarlet letter shit where if someone posts something with nightwing x red hood art even if it's cute and utterly harmless like one of them blushing over a hot chocolate people will literally go into their mutuals askbox and 'warn' them that that person you reblogged from likes batcest. Legitimately. It's so toxic.

See, if you're tagging your ship correctly, if you're rating it correctly, if you're posting it in the appropriate places, if you are making it clear what it is that you've created so that others who don't want to interact with it can keep scrolling without clicking or can use their blacklist functions, then you're not doing anything wrong and your responsibility is pretty much over.

And that goes for any ship, any trope, and any fic in any fandom.

It does not matter.

No singular person or group of people has the right to police an entire fandom just because there's content being created that they don't personally like or agree with.

As long as those creators are keeping their content to the appropriate places (i.e. not posting explicit material in a general audience server or purposefully putting ship content under the wrong tag to force others to see it) then it's everyone else's responsibility to curate their own fandom experiences by using blacklists, mute functions, exclude filters, the block button, or just not clicking on content they know they don't like or agree with.

There are ships and tropes that turn my stomach. I don't want to see them, consume them, or even think about them because they squick me out.

And that's on me.

So I block, I blacklist, I mute, and I don't click.

Because the burden of responsibility for what I consume in fandom is on me.

Fandoms are like villages. Yeah, we're all living in close proximity but that doesn't give anyone else the right to come into my house uninvited and tell me they don't like my decor or that I can't cook this particular meal in my kitchen because they are allergic to it even though I never invited them to dinner.

So ignore the people who try and do that.

Tend your roses, fill your shelves, make your meals, and enjoy yourself instead.

[sickknotdoom]

Im genuinely really disappointed in Kittycorn for the fact that despite kit's relatively large following, kittycorn has said NOTHING publically about palestine, despite having the power to lead a lot of people to a lot of resources.

“Kit doesn’t have much of an internet presence outside of Sparklecare!!!” Then explain to me why i see so many popular artists who barely share jackshit about their personal lives, not even their pronouns, and yet still reblog and share stuff about Palestine. Kittycorn has literally 0 excuse not to say *anything*.

I'm gonna be so real and say that I'm half-expecting Kittycorn to be like "oh i dont reblog anything about it cuz it makes me sad :-((("

kit could at least like. Draw the Sparklecare characters in support for Palestine. Kit could do the bare fucking minimum here.

Kittycorn has such a large following and a lot of power, whether kit likes it or not. I understand Kittycorn did not want this large following, nor does kit want more of it, but christ can you fucking do something?

I don't know why people aren't talking about this.

holy fucking shit youre right. ive noticed that too but i didnt wanna bring it up because i know that would make me seem "desperate" to "attack kit" or something but yeah. the ONLY thing ive seen kit do to raise awareness is post an announcement with the arab.org link in the comet caring club server. yknow the one that most fans DONT EVEN KNOW ABOUT since its closed off? yeah. no public statement or anything. no tags in any bios, no watermelon emoji, nothing. COMPLETE SILENCE on anything that isnt kits own comic. fucked up, especially since the sparklecare blog is without a doubt kits biggest platform.

there was this fanart of uni holding the palestinian flag and it was really accurate to the official artstyle, i thought it was official when i first saw it. and it had a shit ton of reblogs, including me on my main. i recognized so many names scrolling through the list. but wanna know who i DIDNT see? thats right, the official sparklecare blog. kits either ignoring it completely or actively dancing around the subject, which is NOT GOOD.

i am in no way trying to accuse kneeby or anyone on the sparklecare team of being a zionist, but i would definitely like to highlight the blatant ignorance the official blog has shown. this isnt the only time ive seen kneeby act this way, as kit also has #blm #acab in kits twitter bio but from what ive seen kits done absolutely nothing to actually raise awareness to said causes, which rubs me the wrong way since im black myself. however now kneebys completely avoiding doing anything, not even a hashtag anywhere. just a single announcement in a private discord.

and yes im putting fanart and au tags on this post, people need to notice this. do better.

[neteyamsoare]

This is the first and possibly last time you would see me come on here to rant. If you don't want to see this post and want to just see my happy posts then scroll past, I won't blame you.

A bitch is pissed right now because you really got the audacity to be so worried about why you got kicked from the server??

It's the fact you were looking for a channel to sext your wife like y'all can't do that in your own dms, you really need to join the discord server to do that?? Fucking crazy.

First, you and your 'wife' came into the discord, and the first you did was tried to start problems. The discord's number 1 rule is to: be respectful to others, no put downs, shaming, bullying, harassment, or abuse is tolerated. We're not saying you yourself should read/write/talk about aged-up content but a smart person wouldn't go in a channel for a character they KNOW they don't simp for! We never forced you into the conversation you put yourself in the conversation and thought y'all ate. If you can't be respectful, if you think bullying someone for their age is "cute" then please go touch some grass cause it ain't cute at all. Being an asshole is so not cute and we don't need someone like that in the discord.

Then you want to throw sneaky disses about the people in the discord on your Tumblr and you wanna ask WHY you were kicked from the server?? Why do you think you belong in it? We don't want people who can't follow "don't like something, scroll past it." You could've muted the channel but you chose to act dumb.

Maybe you need a reminder that this is about a place that is fictional and it doesn't and will never exist (unfortunately).

"Asking me to respect pedophiles is CRAZY" is so fucking crazy to me because how do you want to diss people who write/read about aged-up content and your whole following list shows that you follow people who write the same thing you throwing disses at? Make it make fucking sense. Cause for someone to hate aged-up content shouldn't be following/reblogging stuff from people who write aged-up content. Also throwing the p word around and you don't know how serious or the actual meaning of it is fucking crazy, you need to take a seat and learn what it actually means.

Let's not get on the fact that you were searching for someone who majority writes aged-up content on your blog. The hypocrisy is so fucking crazy to me like bffr, it's either you're against aging up, or with it, there's no in-between.

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

PRE-PRELIMINARY #63

"Prev tags" should never have become a thing.

[JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT]

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure! (exposure like when you’re exposed to the fact that the KISS Scooby Doo crossover does actually exist, scarring you for life)

"Prev tags" is just annoying, inefficient, only works sometimes, and just dumb as fuck. Like, if someone tells you a funny story, and you wanna relay it to someone else, you're gonna be like "Hey, this person told me a funny story! I'm gonna relay it to you." You WOULDN'T go up to someone and be like "GO FIND THIS PERSON WHO TOLD ME A FUNNY STORY." Like, holy shit that's just dumb. The scavenger hunt aspect simply is not worth it. In my experience, it NEVER is worth it. It just puts me in a bad mood. Plus, what if it's a long post? You want people to have to scroll up and down and up and down just to get to those tags? Holy shit, no! That's just irritating!

And people like to claim 'Oh, prev tags is an INTEGRAL feature to the site!" NO IT IS NOT. It started popping up in 2021. The first time I remember seeing it, it was a text post, and everyone was going "prev" and the OP's tags were just a "spike trap" joke, where it told people to prev tags them. THAT IS THE ORIGIN. Prev tags isn't an ancient feature from the era of SuperWhoLock that we cannot leave behind- in fact, in posts FROM that era, people would copy-paste or screenshot tags and commonly be like "Why would you leave this in the tags?" Prev tags can't do that!! We steal tags here, sir! Posting someone else's tags in the body of the post has been part of the site's culture for AGES!

Not to mention- prev tags has really bad archival issues. Say you're on a post, and there's something in the tags you consider a great addition, so you go "prev" along with the rest of your tags for posts like these. A month later, the person you "prev"d has deactivated for whatever reason, or maybe they've deleted the post. Those tags are gone. They are just GONE. You can't get them back, you can't view them again, the tags are completely gone. Meanwhile, screenshotting or copy-pasting the tags preserves them.

(This is, to a lesser extent, worse for me, since I have ADHD, which negatively impacts my memory. So no, I do not automatically remember my hilarious tags.)

Many people like to claim "Oh, that's not the point of it, prev tags is for privately telling the person who left the tags you appreciate them!" Which, first of all if they don't like prev tags, that'll just tick them off. But second of all... If you wanna tell them you liked their tags, message them??? A friendship of mine started and persists because my friend messages me posts I've tagged like "Good tags" or smth like that. That would not have happened if I'd just been "prev tags"d.

And if anything, prev tags decreases communication between us. That friend of mine and I have commonly had conversations about those tags, since they're most often related to blorbos. And our friendship is stronger because of that! If they'd just been like "prev" that wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have had all those great conversations. I wouldn't have that friend. I know, messaging people scary, but I highly doubt people are gonna find being messaged about how awesome their tags were irritating. Please, just actually talk to EACH OTHER instead of talking in the tags! Subject yourself to the mortifying ideal of being known, it will reward you!

I'll die on this fucking hill. Out of any hill, I will die here.

[unpopularbunny]

This lowkey been a long time coming if I’m being honest. I am also a massive fucking hypocrite because I will avoid Baku/kiri/reader fics but this??? This right here??? 🙇‍♀️ I’m on the floor baby. (Ngl this has like a pinch of body shaming in it, just wanna preface by saying I do not hate any specific group of people based on any physical trait they may have. I just want more love for big girlies.)

Pairing: chifuyu/reader/baji

You already know: reader is a fat girl!!!!! everyone’s an adult, no set timeline, fuck it we ball 🏀, paranormal slutivity, your fave mans is a whore, public shenanigans, reader lowkey under the influence but there’s no dub/noncon, no beta reader again so if u point out any flaws ur being mean to me and if ur mean to me I’ll die, reblogs make u SO big brained 🗿🗿

Minors: ur mama know what you doin? I’m telling 💥

A/n: I’ll add a readmore when i get home and can make sure tumblr wont eat my post when I do.

🌹🌷🌹

you just wanted to be different for once. To ignore years of mass media telling you how to dress, to feel wild and FREE. you wanted tight revealing clothes and makeup all over your face, you wanted men to jaw drop and double take at the sight of your hips swaying.

This fantasy never got far and you never predicted you’d end up between two friends who always shared in the name of brotherly camaraderie.

Leeeets take it back about a week.

You weren’t by any means conservative in your day by day fashion, you just didn’t dress how you truly wanted to. You were always worried about the stares you’d get, stares that dared to ask ‘does she know she’s embarrassing herself?’. As time went on the urge to free yourself from the confines of stretchy jeans and sweaters was too much to ignore any longer. All it took was one night of drinking at home for you to blow nearly half a paycheck on clothes that were one inch away from getting you in legal trouble. You felt justified in this, it was your turn damnit!!! You were tired of hours doom scrolling on your phone and watching all the pretty skinny girls be drowned in affection, you wanted to make people notice you. You wanted to make men think about you as you walked passed, you deserved attention and people to fawn over you.

Needless to say, the next day you realized how fucking delusional your thinking was the night before.

You nursed a headache all through the day and when you got home you were greeted by your roommate in the livingroom looking like the cat that caught the mouse. Next to her on the couch was a plastic package, she shook it at you wiggling her eyebrows and you snatched it from her before she could even ask and shuffled to your room. You could hear her cackling. It’s not like you had any kind of bad blood with your roommate, you two were actually childhood friends, you just didn’t want anyone to see your secrets.

You showered and stood in your room, staring at the package on your bed before deciding fuck it and ripping it open. You couldn’t even remember what all you ordered anyway. Most of the articles of clothing were black, save for some racy sets of underwear you thought looked cute. You refused to believe any of it could fit you, it seemed so….small. There was no way in hell you were going to give up now though, you spent all that fucking money so there was no reason not to try the clothes on.

A mistake really.

They fit you far too good.

Sure, it was tight, but not uncomfortably so, in fact the tightness felt comforting in a way? The tops hugged your curves and even though your tummy peaked out at the bottom, you thought it looked cute in a way. The skirts wouldn’t stay down, rolling up your ass when you paced your room, you’d definitely have to wear a jacket with those. The pants needed belts, your waist to hip ratio was too different for them to stay up. They felt tigh and constricting on your hips and thighs, but there was plenty of waist room. After posing a bit in your mirror you sort of lost yourself for a bit. Falling in love with your curves and admiring how your body had so many wonderful attributes.

You almost screamed when someone’s knocked on the door.

You failed to lock it and it was your downfall.

Your roommate was all gasps and awes’ at your state. She paced around you like a tiger and assaulted you with compliments, no matter how you tried to shush her and make excuses, she wouldn’t hear it. She made you re-try on all the clothes so she could see them all. It felt like you were back to school shopping with your mom, except this time she wasn’t forcing you into bullshit khakis and polos. It actually turned into a bunch of fun as she gave you tips for accessorizing and hair styling.

When all was calmed down and you two were on the couch she took your weakness and vulnerability as a chance to strike like the snake she is.

She insisted you two go out this weekend!

You couldn’t even shoot her down, she had just spent the last hour boosting your ego and self esteem that you mumbled out a small ‘I guess’. She clapped her hands in glee and started firing off names of bars and clubs and she got the same responses from you every time ‘you pick’ and ‘I’ve never been there before.’ The most you told her is that you wanted to go somewhere you wouldn’t be recognized by coworkers or other friends and colleagues.

She just threw her head back and laughed, saying that you wouldn’t be recognizable with those clothes on anyway.

You couldn’t help but feel a little paranoid about what she had in store for you.

🌹 🌷 🌹

The week went by too fast for your liking and every time you tried to back out of the plans you were strongarmed by your roommate. She wasn’t going to let you go that easy. When Saturday arrived you tried avoiding her, but she was more determined than you’ve ever seen her.

You gave in and let her do with you as she pleased.

She picked out your outfit from the new clothes you bought and dug around your closet for some platforms you’d bought years ago but never worn (amazingly they still fit regardless of your calves.). She styled your hair and even did your makeup (you still got to pick the colors (: ), you felt like a sacrifice being painted up before the ritual.

How close to this assumption you were.

The club she dragged you two was some hole in the wall in shibuya with low lights and loud music. You were sweating before you even went in and it was only hotter once you two were inside. You could feel the bass shoot through your entire body and you felt so nervous and couldn’t look anywhere but the floor. Your friend ordered you both a few drinks, or rather ‘liquid courage’ she dubbed it. You were thankful for it, seeing as after a few drinks you felt much more comfortable in your skin than before. Your friend excused herself to the bathroom and you smiled and waved her off as she went, taking a few more sips of whatever new fruit concoction was in front of you.

After a few moments you were occupied on both sides by two new people. You glanced to your right and had to look up to see the man, Jesus Christ, even with platforms on he still had a few inches on you. He had long silky black hair, brown eyes, and a smile so sinister you would normally feel scared. You smiled right back and when you glanced to your left you were a few inches taller than other man. This man had short cut black hair, the cutest green eyes you’d ever seen, and ear piercings. Speaking of ears, the tips of his seemed to be tinted a little….pink?

You weren’t sure what to do now that men approached you first so you went back to looking down at your drink and sipping at it. You were a little hunched over and caught bits and pieces of the men having a conversation over your head. ‘You like this one?’ ‘Baji don’t objectify women like that, its kinda gross.’ ‘I’m just trying to help is all’ His laugh caught you off guard and you jumped.

“Eh? What’s wrong girlie? Did we scare you?” You glanced to your right and..baji? Was leaning down into your personal space. When you leaned back you were leaning into his friend, who didn’t exactly seem to hate your body pressing into his.

“No- you’re just a little…close is all” you were surprised anyone could hear you over the music.

“C’mon baji let’s le-“ baji waved his hand and chifuyu stopped.

“Wanna dance with us?” He was pressing himself against your side, his hand gliding up your thigh towards your hips. He laughed at the confused face you responded with, “yeah girlie, both of us, unless that ain’t your type thing. I just assumed on account of how you dressin and all.” You couldn’t tell if your face was hot from being drunk or the embarrassment.

You should feel outraged at the fact that he assumed you were a loose woman but…..was that such a bad thing? You wanted to feel desired, you wanted to be lusted after, and it was happening. He wasn’t using force, in fact his hand was merely resting at the small of your back rubbing small circles. You were still in a public place so it’s not as if he could do anything to you, you didn’t dress up to weigh the pros and cons. You downed the rest of your fruity drink and nodded, relinquishing yourself to whatever ungodly fate awaited you.

“Atta girl,” He took one hand while his friend took your other and gently led you away from the bar, “we’re gonna have so much fun with you tonight sweetie.” It was like micro-dosing danger. Every smile and laugh having some sinister undertone.

But god was it fun.

🌹 🌷 🌹

You got the hang of dancing in clubs a few years ago, it wasn’t hard, it didn’t take any special skill. You just needed to know what to do with your hips and hands.

Which you were currently struggling to do.

You’d danced with other men before, but mostly one at a time, never quite….like this.

You had your back against baji, his hands were on your hips to guide you. He was guiding you to sway against him, every so often pressing his hardon against your ass. one of your arms were up and behind you, wrapped around his neck to keep him close. Your other arm was front of you, draped over the shoulder of his more reserved friend (who you still had to get a name from), whom was doing things that contradicted the cool demeanor he gave off. He was pressed as close as he could be, his pelvis pushed against yours so you got a good idea of the fun he was having. Even if he didn’t do the best job of showing it. He was so close his nose would brush yours every so often and you expected him to kiss, but he didn’t. His hands were at your waist, holding a little tighter than expected, as if he were giving your exposed flesh squeezes here and there.

Something about this felt so shamelessly erotic.

You were so wrapped up that you didn’t give a thought to your friend who had gone to the bathroom, she probably had seen you by now and didn’t want to interrupt. You felt so transfixed on the green eyes infront of you and the hands sliding down your waist to your thighs and pulling up the edges of your skirt-

“Shhh don’t make a scene-“ you had seized up but Baji’s guiding hands kept you moving, “you like this don’t you?” It was his friend, his voice was much firmer, “That’s why you’re here, like this, between us. You want it.” His hand was under your skirt and sliding up up up. So fucking slow that you shifted just to get his hand between your legs faster. Just as his fingers brushed the forming wet spot on your panties, you could hear baji laugh against your neck on the other side of you.

“How the fuck are you so good at spotting the good ones chifuyu” was that his name? A man had his fingers pressed against your clit and you’re just now learning his name?

“Eh? What do you mean so good?” He shot back, his hand was in your panties, rubbing and petting at your clit while having a normal conversation as if you weren’t between them.

“Look at her!” You moaned and grinded against chifuyus hand, doing your best to make them focus on you again, “Perfect size to split between us and such a cute cheeks!” One of baji’s hands came up and pinched your cheek for emphasis.

“Do you honestly believe that every decision i make is backed by some deep analysis?” He laughed, “I guessed!” You arched as two fingers slid inside of you and curled, any noise you made was cut off by chifuyu kissing you. His kiss was desperate. The fingers inside you moved, slowly and carefully- god his tongue was inside your mouth now and you were suffocating but your head was absolutely floating. It was just so hard to keep focus on your surroundings. So many sensations- you could feel slick beginning to coat your thighs as his hand moved faster and you got sloppier. When he pulled away your lipstick was smeared on his mouth and there was a hazy look in his eyes. He buried his face against your neck on one side and baji was on the other. Chifuyu hand was between your legs and one of bajis hands had found it’s way under your shirt and was giving your nipple an unforgiving pull and twist. You three were pressed so close together that no one could really figure out what was happening, not that anyone was going to stop it.

They owned the bar after all.

Chifuyu tilted his hand and when his thumb brushed your clit your legs wobbled and baji had to focus on keeping you upright against him. Chifuyu smiled and laughed, the first you’d seen tonight, and you felt embarassed all over again.

“Hey! Don’t go falling apart on us sweet heart, we aren’t even close to being done with you yet.” Baji was encouraging you and the whine you let out only encouraged him tenfold.

Rather than fight against the waves and risk drowning, you went with the flow and closed your eyes and relaxed into them. You’d never had such a lavish experience of having two pretty boys give you attention like this. It was way past overstimulating but not in a bad way, you’d worry about that in the morning. Right now you your moans were escalating with the music. When said music began to dip but your voice didn’t follow suit, one of bajis hands wrapped tightly around your mouth while chifuyu increased pace.

“Thaaats it,” chifuyu whispered into your neck, “Make a mess for me.”

“You might wanna hold on tight girlie,” Baji mocked, “He overachieves.” You moved your arms so both of them were wrapped around chifuyu.

You had never been more thankful for loud ass music more than now. Had it not been for whatever club mix was on, everyone would hear the sloppy wet lewd noises of the three fingers that were buried inside of you. Any words or pleas you voiced were muffled and baji took on the sole responsibility of holding you up while chifuyu gladly drove you to climax.

They were both so goddamn obscene in their own right. Not only did they casually whisper conversation to eachother about all the wonderful things you three could get up to together, but they each had individual plans for you. Baji wanted to try having you all to himself for a day to see what other kinds of clothes he could put you in and then rip off of you. Chifuyu mentioned something about ‘giving support’ under his desk while he had stressful days at work. Baji definitely agreed with that and had the fucking drive to ask what you felt like inside.

“Inside? Like heaven.” Chifuyu made it sound like a sin, “She’s so slippery and soft.” Stop stop stop! “What about her mouth?” As if on unspoken command, baji shoved two fingers right into your mouth and pet at your tongue. You drooled so easily and licked without hesitation.

“She’s already drooling,” He shoved his fingers deeper, he did it so fast you gaged and coughed, “Gag reflex? We can fix that sweetheart.” Danger alarms began to fire off in your head, unfortunately they went ignored in lieu of the heat in your lower stomach. You were so close and desperate you just let them carry on, anything to keep the fingers inside of you.

Your whole body seized up when you came and you were truly astonished you didn’t blackout completely. They laughed in amazement at the sight of your eyes rolling back and the way you arched. You were putty in their hands, laying limp back against baji but still holding onto chifuyu.

Maybe going out wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

[madstronaut]

it is currently madstro'clock and it is FaFiCoWriYear in this house

the original FaFiCoWriMo post feels too long to keep reblogging but I'm choking laughing right now because I decided to link it and this image above is what I see - FUCK IT WE BALL 😂😂😂😂😂😂 (truly my whole tumblr vibe)

me: gonna plug away at commenting on all the fics I’ve read lately that I love hmm should take a break 

also me: *takes break by looking for other fics to read*

I was completely taken off-guard by stumbling on this fic while mindlessly scrolling on tumblr and having it show up in my recs, so yes i live-blogged by reading even though I HAVE SO MANY OTHER DRAFTS OPEN BUT IT'S COS I END UP RE-READING CERTAIN FICS OVER AND OVER AND I KEEP FINDING NEW COMMENTS TO WRITE IM STILL THINKNIG OF COMMENTS I MISSED ON FICS I ALREADY COMMENTED ON BUT ANYWAY AHEM- 

without further ado, pls stay for the rambly thoughts, then flee in fright because of the increasing levels of unhinged commentar-

Reading: Touch-starved Nikto fic series by @keysorsomething

- "his current running theory was that you must have some form of brain damage. Perhaps you were dropped as a baby."

hehehehehehehe i swear nikto writers capture what i think would be his sense of humor with bullseye accuracy imho

- “His bright blue eyes broke through the dim lighting as if they were backlit by two LED bulbs in his skull.”

“You crack your eye open, meeting his piercing blue stare, like hot water down the back of your shirt.”

OMG TRULY THIS ENCAPSULATES THE EXPERIENCES OF BEHOLDING HIS EYES/WHAT I IMAGINE EYE CONTACT WITH NIKTO IS LIKE???

- “Maybe you could weird him out enough for him to leave you be..?”

literally held my breath reading the next few paragraphs til I read “He’s very gentle”

I don’t know what exactly it is about gentle touch but it can cut through people’s armor & walls like butter IRL and in fic and I JUST *am exploding, cannot type further*

- “His eyes looked like he was blinking on occasion, which was actually mildly upsetting because there goes your Christmas present for him.”

honestly what a thoughtful gift for the reader to get him eyedrops lmao *tell me u have a crush without telling me u have a crush, oh nothing just got you an extremely specific gift cos I noticed small details about you*

- “Did this count at fraternization?”

LMAO READER THIS MADE ME CRY LAUGHING “Im SORRy i woNT TOUCH HIM WITH TWO FINGERS AGAIN, IM SORRY I MISSED IT IN MY CONTRACT COS I WAS TOO BUSY STARING AT ALL THE $$$$-

- “I wanna know what’s up-” you pause “-man,” you tack it on, but quickly feel like you shouldn’t have. Who the fuck calls a guy like this man?

omg I am alr in love i fucking looooove awkward!readers

- trope alert trope alert trope alert STORAGE CLOSET READER? REALLY? (yes please god yes im so happy rn)

i would like to kneel before this all-powerful goofy ass awkward adorable reader who has nikto scared in a closet looking for ways out 

- “Not like that,” You correct, and he just eyes you more confusedly. “I mean, not yet..? Look,” You sigh,”

the “i mean, not yet” - like omg nikto if i was in ur shoes hearing this i would have to suppress the strong urge to immediately make out and probably fail to stopper the hearts exploding from my body (and ofc hide the involuntary boner popping maybe hello?)

- ““See you tonight,” Klaus mocks.”

i pity these fools, reader has just tamed nikto, i would beat all their asses immediately singlehandedly from the sheer high and power trip i would be on

- if someone referred to me as ‘one of the three snoopiest bitches on base’ i would get it tattooed on my collarbones probably

- ‘being called into König’s office and being scolded about fraternizing’ - thisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonig

- ‘His guns are neatly lined up against the wall, biggest to smallest.’

CUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTE omg i just know he prob has nicknames for them too

- ““Нет,” He replies firmly. He’s in more comfortable clothes, something you’ve never seen before.”

i am probably dating myself here but at the tight t-shirt and sweats description all i hear is BOWCHICKAWOWOWOWWWWW

- “Your eyes stay on him intensely as he lays down in the bed, sliding under the covers. “You are here to help us sleep,”

ok all my horniness left me (ok almost all not all of it of course not i would die) and i just felt so tender and awwwwwwww of it all, esp. the reader comparing his grip to a child with their lovie :( 

- “You see the faint, deep-brown shaping of his brows, his long eyelashes, the scar that covers the right side, but most importantly, the pale gleam of his skin in the little light.

He had washed the eyeblack off. And he had done it just for you.”

I am left speechless here; the buildup to this scene is storytelling and climactic perfection in my opinion

then i clicked on next part and it is titled “caught” and i screamed out loud lol

- “You dare to even think you want the world to melt away, for time to be this moment and this moment alone, always and forever, but should you really let him boss you around like that?”

looooooooove, totally captures that feeling when u have one of those 'time stands still/you wished time stood still' moments IRL

also YES READER WITH A SPINE/BRAIN IS ALSO MY OTHER KINK

- also as much as ive somehow developed a bizarrely unquenchable thirst for graves (do not @ me, i know, i have problems and I love it) canon graves is exactly how id imagine he’d be like in this fic esp with the constant mansplaining

- "How do you deny a masked man who’s speaking in his mother tongue?"

YOU CANT. YOU JUST CAN’T! IT’S A LAW OF NATURE. IT IS SCIENTIFIC FACT. IT IS IRREFUTABLE. IT IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH. IT IS DIVINE DOGMA. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

- “When you look into his eyes, you feel like he wants nothing more than to touch you, and you feel he agrees that this moment is ever so precious. But he doesn’t want to touch you. Perhaps he’s afraid, or perhaps he doesn’t like his face being touched, so he won’t touch yours. The Golden Rule and all that.”

“It’s all the best thing to ever happen in this place, and you have a feeling it’s the best thing to have ever happened to him.”

““Nikto?” You ask, voice soft and wavering, like if you speak too loud you’ll create a rip in space-time and it will have never happened.”

again i feel like someone has snipershot me to the heart with tenderness, everything about this fic and the premise just speaks to a core desire i have to create moments like this, to bypass someone’s armor and touch their heart, and be a source of healing for hurt just by the gift of our mere presence and vice versa - and have this moment and memory become an indescribable source of light and strength in dark and dreary times to be taken out and relived over and over again as needed (or is it just me that does this lol idk)  

fanfic writers never change and keep creating pls <3 ur words create worlds that inspire and brighten our IRL world <3

- i am deeply moved by the indescribable tenderness of nikto waking reader up by softly patting their cheek - this man known and infamous for his harshness and aggression - UNF

-  “As always, they are an icy blue that doesn’t match the feeling of having them on you at all. But by now they feel so much cooler than before, like a warm hug or a heated blanket instead of a hot iron.”

if you’ve known any blue-eyed folx up close i have most def seen their eye color change with emotions, sooo fascinating and hot

- ummmmm my jaw fucking dropped when i realized he leaned in…TO KISS HER? I THOUGHT HE WAS ALSO GONNA REST HIS EYES AND JUST SLEEP FOR A BIT NEXT TO HER? OMG the emotional rOLLERCOASTER THIS STORY HAS TAKEN ME ON *running to download it as we speak*

- BUT aHHHH HTHE ACTUAL SCREAM WHEN READER RUNS INTO KONIG

- omg when reader starting sniffling i just want to hug her and also go back in the room and yell at konig OMG YOU MADE OUR HIGHLY TRAINED PMC-LEVEL KILLER READER CINNAMON ROLL CRY I WILL HURT YOU SIR IDK HOW COS IM LIKE 5’2 BUT IF I HAVE TO CLIMB U LIKE A TREE TO DO SO I WILL TO GET IN YOUR FACE-

- “Who the hell can you trust? Both not to talk, but also with Nikto.” - ends up being Velikan meanwhile me busy shredding the post-it behind my back hoping/suggesting it’s dmitry bale and trying not to cry- (ignore me dmitry is my current hyper fixation)

- i wont lie i am both so heart warmed by how tender and sweet reader is for being so good at reading body language and also laughing my ass off at her having this kinda complicated conversation with velikan who does not talk, mostly growls also while typing this his name autocorrected to pelican and i cannot stop fucking laughing

- omg DMITRY REFERENCE I SCREAMED OUT LOUD (it’s like 1130pm where i am, sorry to my apt neighbors)

- also omg i am crying at this allegiance letter with sputnik, i love both how thoughtful and it is and how it highlights each member and their personality - and that the return of sputnik returned some good memories back to nikto <3, shoutout to any PTSD folx who also deal with blankouts, flashbacks, and having good memory recall be a total struggle street - i think i would openly sob if someone did for me the emotional equivalent of what velikan (and allegiance and by extension reader) did for nikto here with sputnik <3 (and now im remembering IRL times people have done this for me and now im crying omg THE POWER OF FANFIC Y’ALL)

-AH YEGOR CAMEO? MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR IN ALL OF COD? (madstro, there’s only one ukrainian operat-SHUT UP I SAID MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR SHOWED UP)

- also i love how Velikan is written here - “This motherfucker was going to get him put on Fatal Attractions.” i would chill and fuck with him and also probably kill for him hahaha jk or am i-

- very into this irresponsible driver yet simultaneously responsible dog dad rodion rn

- also love the small touch of velikan removing his mask to look yegor in the eye asking if krueger is dead or not

the absolute ride this fic took me on???? incredible incredible incredible this is going in my list of top favorite COD fics @keysorsomething and if i could boost this in the nikto fics tag i would but i'll mostly just be salivating here in the corner over this fic in the meantime, tyvm <3

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

THE PLANNING

THE NANNY: ONE SHOT

THE PLANNING

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: The wedding is coming soon and Andy doesn’t seem very interested in the planning of the event.

Warnings: NONE. Some cursing words, that’s it.

A/N:  none.

Word count: 2008

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

GIF’s not mine, you can find the credits in it:) 

                                     ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Now what was his excuse?” Sharon said as she walked into de restaurant of the Hotel were the wedding was going to take place.

“Ammm, he is just busy.”

“Right,” Sharon rolled her eyes, “Just because he is a lawyer doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be helping you with the wedding. He is getting married too!”

That was this morning and now Annie was sitting in the dining room after dinner surrounded by a bunch of magazines, folders, ring binders, pictures, color samples, while Andy was scrolling through his phone.

“So, I was thinking maybe everything inside should be silver with light blue or maybe lilac.”

“Sure, honey.”

“And for the center pieces maybe we could use peonies.”

“Yeah, those are good.”

Annie lifted her gaze to see Andy was not paying attention at all.

“And then we could hire a clown to marry us.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Yeah?” Andy nodded, “and I would only wear a red thong and no bra for our wedding and we will have Chinese for the guest.”

“You always have the best ideas, honey!

“How about if I made Laurie my maid of honor?”

“It’s an excellent idea.”

Annie grabbed one of the many binders she had on the table and slammed it hard making Andy to jump, his phone falling from his grip.

“What’s wrong?!”

“You are not paying attention to me!”

“Yes, I am.”

“Really? Repeat something I said?”

“Ammm well, you said, you wanted to have a band for the wedding?”

“I wasn’t even talking about music!!!!!! Andy the wedding is coming, I’m so stressed out and you are not helping me!”

“Honey, it’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big…fine! We are not getting married.”

“What?!”

“We will cancel the whole thing!”

“Why?!”

“You just said it, it’s not a big deal, so there will be no wedding!”

“Honey, that’s not what I meant!”

“Then, what is it?!”

“Well, I’ve already got married once.”

“You don’t care.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t need to say it! You are not paying attention to me. This is important to me. I want our wedding to be perfect, I am marrying the man of my fucking dreams and you don’t care!”

“Honey,” Andy walked towards her and she took a step back and crossed her arms.

“No, I don’t wanna see you or talk to you right now. Excuse me.”

Andy saw Annie go upstairs, and then turned to see everything that was on the table. He sat down and took one of the binders. There were many pictures and all of them had little notes with Annie’s handwriting. No lemon cake, Andy hates it. Blue is Andy’s favorite color.  He saw a picture of some empty chairs with the pictures of love one who had passed away. Find a picture of Andy’s mom. Another one: Song for the first dance: ____________.  The line was empty, she hasn’t really thought in a song for them to dance.

He then took a yellow post-it: Cake taste appointment: Friday, at noon.

Yes, he got married once, but since Laurie and he were just out of college and expecting they only went to the town hall and did it. No ceremony, no party, no nothing.

Andy walked up the stairs and to their room. Annie was watching T.V, she didn’t seem angry.

“Honey?” no answer, “May I come in?”

“It’s your room too.”

“I do care.”

“No, you don’t, it’s fine. Don’t worry. I’ll do it, you just need to show up. That’s it if you don’t forget it.”

“I don’t forget things.”

“We had an appointment today to see the menu and you didn’t show up.” Andy remained silent, he didn’t know they had that appointment. “The food was good. I chose beef. I was told by the catering people most people choose chicken, but I know you like beef better.”

“You never told me we had to see that.”

“Yes, I did. I told you 3 times.” Andy was confused as hell, he couldn’t remember her saying anything about that.

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” Annie nodded and turned her gaze to the T.V. “I’m sorry you had to go by yourself.”

“I wasn’t alone. Sharon went with me.”

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Look, I’m not interested in your apologies. Just let me know if you wanna continue with the wedding or not. We still have time to cancel. I’m going to shower.”

Andy was left alone in the dimmed room, Annie was disappointed and that hurt him more than when she was angry or sad.

Andy took his phone and texted Sharon.

A: “Hi, so I have a question, and be honest with me.”

S: “Sure! What’s up?”

A: “How many wedding appointments have I missed?”

S: “Oh my god! You can’t be serious!”

A: “I am! Answer the damn question!”

S: “5, the appointment to choose a wedding planner, by the way she doesn’t have one, she’s doing everything on her own.  The appointment to choose the venue, the appointment for the flower arrangements, the appointment for the music and today was time to choose the menu.”

Andy look at the phone, he had fucked up big time.

S: “Oh! And she went to see some suits for Jake. No offense but Jake is your kid, even though she loves him as his own.”

A: “Thanks for the input.”  

He looked at the bathroom closed door, the water was still running. He went back downstairs and sat where Annie was before. He took a deep breath and grabbed one of the magazines.

He went through a few pages of the magazine when he saw another post-it: Still no dress. Better hurry.  And another one said:  Still waiting for a spot with Melissa Benedict.

“Who is Melissa Benedict?!” Andy ran his hand through his face. “I better make coffee.”

------------------------------------------------------- (     ) ----------------------------------------------------------Annie was walking towards the bakery for the cake taste. Andy wasn’t home when she woke up, and hasn’t texted her or called her. The bakery was full with people, another appointment without Andy. She let out a sigh, holding back her tears and walked into the bakery.

“Miss Johnson!” The teenager behind the counter smiled at her, “We are ready with your samples. If you follow me, please. This way.”

Andy was running down the street, he couldn’t be late, he couldn’t not show up. He pushed the door open and everyone turned to see him.

“Good day, sir. May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m the groom.”

The girl laughed a bit, “I’m sorry, but whose groom?”

“Annie’s.”

“Oh! You’re looking for Miss Johnson! Right, this way.”

Andy went through the door and to the back of the bakery, Annie was standing next to a woman as they looked to some pictures.

“I’ll bring the samples. Have a sit.”

“Hi, honey.”

“Andy?” He was standing there, his cheeks were a bit flushed and his tie was misplaced.

“Am I late?”

Annie shook her head and they sat down waiting for the cake to arrive. The baker came back with a single sample of each cake.

“Oh! We have company, who is this?” Annie was about to answer but Andy was faster.

“I’m the groom!” Full smile on display.

“The groom! What a wonderful surprise. Your fiancé was telling me you were busy at court.”

“Yeah, I cancel everything so I could be here.” Andy took Annie’s hand and squeezed it.

“Then I should bring your sample too.”

“No, we could share. Right honey?”

“Right…”

“Very well, we choose our most popular flavors for wedding cakes. So we have chocolate, I know is not the common but it’s been popular lately.” She put the sample on the table, “We have red velvet.” Another small cake was placed in front of them, “Vanilla, a classic! We also have carrot cake and last but not least, lemon. I leave you two to it, I’ll be back in a moment. Enjoy!” All the small cakes were decorated the same, cover with white frosting and golden bits on the edges.

The baker left them alone. None of them said a word. Until Andy spoke.

“These shoes are not made for running.”

“You ran?”

“I didn’t want to be late.” Annie nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Missing all the other appointments. Not helping you with the planning.”

“It’s ok.”

“No, it’s not, honey.” He took a deep breath, “I care, I do. I want to marry you; and I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention to you.”

“I understand you’re busy.”

“But I wasn’t busy, I was being an ass! You don’t deserve that.” Annie smiled.

“You were an ass.”

“Yes, I was. By the way. I think peonies are perfect for the center pieces. We should go with silver and lilac. Also,” Andy opened his jacket and took out a picture. “I like this picture of my mom.”

Annie smiled, “You went through my binders.”

“I had to.” Andy leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, “I saw one of your notes, and you haven’t chosen a song for us to dance.” Annie shook her head, “Why not?”

“I just, none of the classic wedding songs seem to fit.”

“I have a song.”

“You do?”

“Yeap. Every time I listen to that song you just,” Andy made the sound of pop with his lips, “Right in my head, all smiley.”

“What song it is?”

“I want that to be a surprise.”

“You know I don’t like surprises, they…”

“Make you anxious, I know. Just trust me, ok? I promise I won’t forget about it and I know it’s the perfect song.”

“I trust you, Andy.” She gave him a peck on the lips.

“One more thing.”

“What?”

“I got you an appointment with Melissa Benedict for next week.”

“WHAT?! HOW?!!!!”

“I know some people, and when I finally could reach her, I told her I had fucked up and wanted to make it up to you, so she said yes.”

“Oh my god!” Annie hugged Andy tight, “Thank you!”

“Anything so my baby can have her dream wedding.”

“Our wedding.” Annie said smiling.

“Our dream wedding!” They kissed again, “Alright! Let’s tastes these cakes!” Andy reached for one, took a piece and shove it in his mouth.

“Andy, wait!”

Andy spit the cake in the napkin.

“Fucking lemon cake! Why is this even an option?!” Annie laughed, “Oh! You think this is funny?”

“Yes, maybe it was a bit of karma.”

“Fine, I deserve it.”

After tasting all of the samples the baker came back.

“So, which flavor do you want for your wedding?”

“Chocolate!” Andy said

“Vanilla” Annie said at the same time.

“Oh! Hehehe” the baker saw with amusement to each of the pair.

“Andy, we can’t have chocolate cake at our wedding.”

“Why not? It’s delicious!”

“Cuz it’s a wedding.”

“But, you love chocolate cake.”

“Well,” The baker said, “As I told you before it has been very popular these days, because people want something different for the event.”

“See, we should go with chocolate.”

“I think we should stick with vanilla.”

“I can make a cake with both flavors, half vanilla, half chocolate. You know a marble cake.” Andy and Annie looked at each other. “Be right back.”

The baker went to the front of the bakery and came back with a slice of cake, the bread was a mixture of chocolate and vanilla, with chocolate frosting and bronze sugar spheres on top of it.

“We can always change the decorations, ok? Just try it.”

They took their forks and cut a small piece of the slice and taste it.

“Oh my god,” Annie licked her lips, “this is it.”

“It’s perfect.” Andy said as he cut another piece of the cake.

“So, it’s settle. Marble cake for the Barbers.”

“The Barbers has a nice tune, don’t you think, honey?”

“It sounds good.”

“Yes, it does!” Andy leaned in and gave a small kiss.

“I love weddings!” The baker said and the couple laughed. “Sorry, I always get excited.”

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

@bootlegfrank tagged me and @septiccoffeefreak - who shares this post w me because we're writing partners >:3 (frank tagged us indirectly. and then directly because i responded saying i was gonna do it. so in-indirect-diretly(??))

Rules: list the first lines(s) of your last 10 fics and see if there's a pattern. I also said where each one is from in case u don't wanna scroll through our ao3 and do the math urself!!!

all these fics except one r RPF, sooo BE WARNED. i'm putting everything under da cut, and i'm also putting my reblog banner since fanfiction!!! is!!! art!!!

Seán’s about ready to burn his entire calendar.

from "Scheduling Conflicts and How To Cope - A Guide For The Busy Homosexual"

Tommy hates LA with every fiber of his being.

from "City Of Angels"

it's cold, and it hurts.

from "The Part Where it Gets Better (Lads rescue AU)", and also THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD OUT OF CONTEXT LIKE WHAT'S COLD??? it's water. the water is cold. this is the character based one btw. WE FOUND IT, THE NON-RPF!!!

Tommy inspects Seán’s behelit tattoo carefully, running his thumb over it a little, then kisses it.

I fucking would. kissing all his tattoos right now. mwah. this goddamn MOOD is from "There's No Place Like Home"

Ethan N3st0r was not expecting Seán to still be awake at three AM, even though with jet lag considered, he really fuckin should have.

I censored the name for search but it's not like that in the fic, that's just for tumblr. anyway, from "Three Drabbles In Which Tommy and Seán are bad at Keeping Secrets"

Ethan's the one to bring it up first, on Brain Leak, of all things.

OPENING WITH ETHAN AGAIN LMAOO. this is from "And Suddenly, It Makes Sense."

"So, who would have thought, huh? T0mmy1nn1t and Jacks3pt1c3y3, famous YouTubers, passed away in their sleep on the same night."

censored for tumblr again. from "Count your Soulmates- There's only one."

Seán and Tommy have sleepovers sometimes.

from "kissing practice". very original opening line /sar /lh (also tbh i feel awful about em being evil in this one :( I know its fanfic and i can do whatever I want but like. idk. i'm not accusing em of being mean IRL okay??? OKAY))

Seán spends about fifteen minutes pacing and staring at himself in the mirror, doing breathing exercises his therapist taught him and trying not to rub or scratch his wrists too much.

from "Puppy Love", the closest we've ever gotten to full misce posting on main

They were gluing ducks to a jeep the first time it happened.

FROM "PETNAMES" AND ALSO THE BEST OPENING LINE EVER

INTERPRETATION TIME!!!!

soooo yeah!!! we like to jump right into action as well but I think it's safe to say our autistic ass habits of giving exposition for everything lead to the specific outcome of starting in the middle of a scene, WITH an explanation of the scene. like we're already in the middle of something going on but also sometimes it's exposition at the same time somehow?? or like right after these first lines. idk maybe that's just me????

the way it's usually less (character does this) and more (character does this BECAUSE ____ // character is doing this and FEELING ____) feels like it's trying to give context, to me. but again idk maybe just me

TIME FOR SEÁN'S READING:

@septiccoffeefreak - "What I'm noticing here is more along the lines of just, how we almost always seem to open with a person. Usually by their actual name(s) too and not just a pronoun. I understand what you mean, Tommy, but I don't personally get that vibe? You could totally be right, of course, I just don't pick up on that. I defenitely notice, though, just how many of these are sentences where the literal first word is a name. the two exceptions to that are the pronoun "they" (which is still a person- or two people actually), and then water.

I guess the dialogue could also be considered an exception, but I don't think it counts since it also directly references us as characters.

and that's not something you necessarily have to do. You could open describing scenery or objects, or with dialogue that DOESN'T have the names of the characters in it- you could open with wind through a blade of grass or a character cursing under their breath or someone's cellphone crashing to the pavement or something. So it's definitely an "us" thing, it's a quirk of our writing style and not just normal writing. I don't know if like, we ALWAYS do this, but I do know that in these ten fics you pulled we do. I wouldn't be surprised if we did it like literally all the time as well, but I'm not going to pretend to know every first line we've ever penned to paper. or...print?? I don't fucking know, here, I'm just analyzing sentences on the internet for a tagging project.

Sorry if this ramble is kind of long, I hope it's at least interesting though??? sort of interesting? kind of interesting, in it's own way, hopefully. at least mildly, like a video you didn't turn on but aren't really reaching for the mouse/remote on to change it. You know?? Yeah. Like that. Or more interesting then that, hopefully. Thanks for uh, reading or, whatever, listening if you have a screen reader i guess, I'm getting nervous and it's very obvious because i'm rambling so I'm gonna hand things back off to the birthday boy, Toms. wish Tommo a happy birthday or I swear to fucking god your liver will be missing in the morning and you'll find it at the bottom of your morning cup of coffee."

back to me:

LMAO

wow omg i love my babygirl,,,, that made me laugh >:p

ANYWAYS. i didn't notice that!! oh em gee,,,,, name moment.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS TOO AND SEE IF YOUUUU SEE ANYTHING!!!!!

I'M TAGGING @kalcifers-blog AND.... no one else because all my other mutuals who i know for a fact write have paused as far as i'm aware, bc they're into mcyt RPF like I am and the w1lbvr situation put them on hiatus. and i don't know if any of them are back to feeling up to writing stuff.

I don't write about w1bvr ever and didn't watch him so I wasn't that affected but a lot of people were even if they just watched so like... Kalcie ur alone on here i'm SO SORRIE. ALSO this is /nf so u don't have to if u dont want to :p :3 >:D :000 >:PPPP :000 >:00