#I wanted to make winter one pic daily before year ends let’s see how I’m going to disintegrate

[kuuwo]

Journey to Solitude 🏔

[muffindaddystyles]

SWEET BF!HARRY HEADCANONS.

A/N: It's ramdan and that's one of the reasons, I'm not writing smut but all the damn cliches of my dreams. Hope ya'll understand :)

Bf!H pictures, sweet!H, Masterlist, ask me here

He'd be super sappy in your special moments, worse than your mum that sometimes you'd have to drag him away from the crowds to escape from embarrassment.

Would come to pick you up from work, like always, and when you're busy would entertain your co-workers and the staff of building with his charm +

It'd make everyone cooe and awe at the fact you've got such a sweet boy.

Would give up his seat for you and make funny faces down at you, standing between your legs.

Cuddles! As many cuddles as possible he could squeeze into a day.

When you'd get annoyed with your tangled headphones he'd leave everything and take them away from over your head without a word doing it for you and placing it back with a kiss on your head.

He'd totally be the boyfriend that takes care if you're layered enough in winters and that your favourite socksies are warmed up in the dryer.

He just loves, loves and loves going out with you on cute shops to try out different sakura coffees and cheesecakes.

Him watching you sleep in the wee of night and you knowing that he's admiring you but let him do it anyways + sometimes giving him a jump scare by smacking a kiss to his lips and giggling about it sleepyly.

Alone, Making instant noodles together in the middle of night and playing footsie like a 12 years old.

Your shoelace undone as you walk infront of him and he watches you for a minute before stopping you himself, squatting down to tie them back + you'd just blush as the passers by gushed over you both. 

Coming home to him making dinner for you in his cute frilly apron [We all think we're bigger than that -- but we're not :") ]

Him mimicking your moans out aloud from your previous naughty nights and it'd heat up your cheeks like no other.

You missing your girlfriends and he'd take you out to drink mimosas saying, "We can have a girls night out! We can have a girls night out!" While, slipping into his shoes excitedly and grabbing your coats in a haste.

He couldn't keep his hands to himself when you're out in public +

His love language being reassurances and physical touch makes him want you close to him everytime.

He's just so soft in bed -- so happy taking weird selfies and almost blurred pictures of sunsets from the window, with you sleeping on his tummy.

His comfy position to sleep in is with his tucked between your squishy tits +

He sleeps anywhere, it's adorable, in the most uncomfortable furnitures snoring with his mouth wide open +

Not admitting that he snores even though you record him.

The way both of you looking at eachother getting a reference to your private joke and bursting out laughing loud and everyone not knowing what's going on.

Stroking your hair and sniffing your sweet smell with his face smashed into the crook of your neck.

Clothes sharing!!! Even though your clothes wouldn't fit him but when you guys are too bored he'd try your skirts and flaunt them as if he's on runway + blowing kisses to you like those victoria secrets models.

Teasing. Loads of teasing, sitting across the couches and bantering off + making you a whining mess upon teasing you sexually till days and fucking you so good for finally.

Kisses. Soft, sloppy, slobbery, affection and passionate kisses anywhere he could manage to + kissing every inch of your body because he's too in love with you.

Sending you pictures of random objects like a guitar pic he incarved your name upon, a stick that just broke and fell at his feet while he was walking, a chewing gum sticking to his boots, pictures of fluffy kittenssss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silly texting such that;

Harry: fight me!

You: come at me, huh.

Harry: Hits you.

Harry: On your lips.

Harry: With my lips.

Harry: SOFTLY.

You: can we fight like this daily?

Harry: course lovie' next fight in 10, be ready sweet cherry ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keeping you in his lap while reading and his fingers interlocked with yours while his plush lips remain pressed to your knuckles, murmuring his words softly against your skin.

"It's too cold, come back! I'll freeze without you honey baby !!" He'd whine pulling you back under the duvet if you'll try to go for the piss.

He'd be extra gentle and caring with you on your periods, heating bottles for you, making soups and feeding it to you himself spoon by spoon since you loose appetite, going out to buy pads or tampons for you and reading the benefits of them because he's that awfully sweet.

Stargazing together, laying like starfishes on the roof and deciding the names of your future children.

Braiding your hair, "shh stop squirming pet 'm braiding your hair." You'd nip at him teasingly, "Oh. . .I see."

Playful kisses on the tip of noses, saccharine heartwarming kisses on temple, laying overlapped eachother on the couch and kissing eachother's shins and knees, inside of wrists, inside the thighs, and infinite pecking because he couldn't resist +

When you're too clingy worming up his waist kissing his neck. He'd ask you smirking, "What's this?" You'd just keep on going lapping at his skin murmuring, "Affection." His tummy rumbling with chuckles as he scrunched his nose up, "Disgusting." Then a long pause as you grumble and he'd push you back closer to make your lips touch his neck, "Do it again."

Sharing a large blanket together on cold days and rolling into a burrito with you wrapped around him like a koala.

His head looping at your shoulder with sleep and you embrace him in a hug instead letting him sleep peacefully.

Your arguments would be too funny to hear since you're besties and the fights would be over the silliest thing or your favourite football teams, "Fuck you!" You'd scream frustrated at his smugness, "Later you little shit –- " Then the war starts ending into a hot make out session on the couch.

You picking your food or candy from the floor according to the five minutes rule being very sneaky and he'd yell from the other corner, "I saw that!" +

"Oh shut up!" You'd blow him off and he'd yell back, "Make me!"

Calming and comforting him when he wakes up from bad dreams, snuggling him and showering him in kisses to assure hime you're there.

"Mine." He'd murmur against your lips out of blue while doing the most random thing.

The word that'd run shiver down your spine when he growls it out because you're being batty or too greedy to chase ecstasy while riding his thigh, "Behave."

Exchanging jewellery, he'd choose from your collections and give you one of his most precious meaningful ones (sobs) +

Stealing hoodies and he's too accustomed with it that he has his hoodies dipped in his scent, tucked into a safe drawer only for you.

Sneaking inside your changing room to steal a single glimpse of how you're looking in a certain dress/lingerie/pair of cute silk night pyjamas and doing live commentary on it.

Love eating food with you. Becoming this happy baby with rosy cheeks when you'd turn all chirpy and utterly gooey on the sight of greasy cheesy food.

Him baking for you and writing the most funniest thing on top of it that make you roll your eyes but nevertheless kiss him it.

Bringing teas from different countries he went to.

Farting and blaming some non-existent ghost in your house.

His godchildren loving you and always asking about you when you couldn't visit them for some reason.

Clumsy affection and infatuation.

"I love yous." Anytime, any moment. Everytime with same sentiment he held when he told you the first time +

You never failing to make him blush returning it with same affection, "I love you too." +

The soft warm morning I LOVE YOUS in bath robes while brushing teeth standing side by side infront of the mirror, with hair ruffled and states dishelved +

[isidar-mithrim]

Tag game

Thank you for the tag @fightfortherightsofhouseelves and @clarensjoy!! 

Also, I’ll take this opportunity to apologize for all the tag-chain/game I ignored lately! I’m quite busy this period and while I do still check tumblr almost daily – especially now that I can’t wait for new @giblimort‘s amazing portraits *_* – it’s more like a few-minute scroll in the homepage and maybe read the occasional ficlet so I might miss the tags or more probably I might be lazy about answering them ^^’ But it always makes me smile that someone thought of me, so be aware that it’s appreciated and it makes my day lighter <3 @narukoibito @sybill-the-seer @ballerinaroy and I’m surely forgetting someone ^^’

Fandoms: Harry Potter, the one and only ;)

Where you post: Tumblr and Ao3, but I also have an account on the italian fan fiction page EFP (but my last stories are missing and most of the old ones that I’ve translated needs to be changed/edited, so I would kinda beg any passing italians to read them in English or ask me what version I would suggest XD). And one on Wattpad that I haven’t updated in a long while...

Most popular one-shot: Well I’m not sure what defines “popular” here, so I’ll kinda cheat and check the Ao3 stats I think for the first time ever and give you:

one for “most hits”: Fantasies [NSFW and basically Hinny PWP, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised it’s the one with most hits XD]

one for “most kudos”: Standing on tiptoe [whoa, hadn’t seen it coming!]

one for “most bookmarks”: Letters for beyond (featuring the Potters)

one for “most comment threads”: so there are 4 with the same number, two of them are the two above, and between the remaining two I’ll pick A new beginning, a post-war chat between Harry and Neville ^^

Most popular multi-chapter: among my only two proper multi chapters, of which one is incomplete so far and with just 2 chapter and the other is complete with just 3 short chapter (what an achievement XD), Better than fireworks  is the one among all of my stories, including one shots, with “most bookmark”, “most subscriptions” (by far) and also “most comments threads”: [all this support is absolutely amazing, but I admit also kinda make me feel guilty because it’s almost been a year since I posted it and promised to finish it, ups ^^’ And the ironic thing is that I still plan too. One day. Maybe XD]

But I’ll also cheat a little bit again, naming a4 one-shots series, “Have a biscuit”. If you like Neville and McGonagall, I’ll be honored if you’d give it a try ^^

Favourite story written so far: Ahhh that’s a tough one, I tend to be quite fond of my stories (yay for the modesty, lol – I swear that when I’m not that thrilled I always admit it, though XD)... Let’s say “As though by a mother” but I might give a different answer in a week XD

Fic you were nervous to post: I’m not sure I’m never actually “nervous” before posting (more like, afraid that the story won’t appreciated as a I hope/that it won’t interest people), but I guess I must have been a bit nervous before posting my first ever pic translated in English, which also happens to have a not-so-usual writing style: And yet it tastes good

How you choose your titles: Ahhhh, good question. I guess it depends. Tbh I’m not that good at titles, or sometime I have a (supposedly) great one in Italian that doesn’t really translate (or isn’t that good) in English or viceversa. [Example: the “Have a biscuit” serie has English titles that I like way better than the italians, but a story like “Souls of Ink”, while having a good ring in English, to me it’s way more powerful and poetic in Italian, “Anime d’inchiostro”].

Sometimes I don’t have a title until the end and I kinda throw something there, sometimes I have the title from the very beginning and it could be a big part in inspiring the story. I tend to use title that are neither too short nor too long, and I don’t usually use songs quotes or the like. Plus, I’m very happy if the words/phrasing of the title recur literally or metaphorically in the story! I also try to match the “feeling” of the title (and the summary) with the “feeling” of the story. Like, I’d go for a more poetic/dramatic one for an angst story, and for a more comedic-like one for something more fluffy or silly.

Complete: Well, that’s easy, since I mostly stay away from multi-chapters XD (and for good reasons – see above XD) All my one shots, and most of my “closed” series, as in, series that I imagined with a beginning and an end or something like that (so, series like “Next Generation” don’t really have a complete/incomplete status) 

In progress: Again “Better than Fireworks”, and I’ve also just realised that I’ve yet to finish translating (despite being at a decent point) the second and last chapter of “Of Matilda, war and Peace” [speaking about being bad a title, lol XD] Ups ^^’

Coming soon/Not yet started: ahhh coming soon probably nothing, ehm, but I’ve at least 4 one shots in the making and that I want to finish one day (most of them started months if not a years ago... I’ll list them below), plus the draft for the rest of Better than Fireworks, plus several random missing-moments or AUs ideas and a long Hinny post-war story started few years ago in Italian (roughly 100.000 written) that needs to be heavily rewritten, translated and possibly finished ^^ Same for a shorter bit of a Jily seventh-year story, if we have to say it all...

“Ghost of the past”, a Hinny one shot from Ginny’s pov with a difficult conversation – I’m very fond of this one, but I have to work on the second part/end. The first/main part is finished and even betaed by the amazing @narukoibito! <3

“Of those who stayed”, a silver trio one shot – again from Ginny’s pov – during DH, when they try to steal the sword. I’ve the first (long) chapter done and again, even betaed by the wonderful @floreatcastellumposts but knowing myself I want to finish it first. I might decide that it’s okay like this (in Italian I’ve already posted it a one shot), but since I had a sort of sequel in mind for now it’ll stay in my drafts ;)

“The man who lived” – This one is all in just Italian so far (I’m rewriting an old piece – I’d probably restart it directly in English now); again Ginny’s pov (wow, hadn’t realised it!), again DH, this time since she (in my head canon) realise Harry might have gone to Voldemort during the battle, until the end of the battle

A one shot that’s it’s a series of Hinny snippets about James Sirius Potter coming to life (from the very start). Old one written in Italian and never posted, that a again needs to be finished. Same for a collection of snippets around Hinny’s wedding (but this is “draftier”)

A one shot of Harry and the Potters waling Teddy at King Cross; I’ve just a very little bit of it written + most of the draft, and it would be the sequel of the one shot “What parents would want”

The random Missing Moments that I’ve have in mind are: a conversation between Bill and Ginny in the hospital wing in HBP, plus maybe a bit more from Ginny’s pov in that period (like going back home from Hogwarts); a conversation between Bill and Ron in DH, not sure if during Ron’s first or second stay and Shell Cottage; Hermione finding out about Arthur’s attack; Dumbledore taking Slughorn’s memory (when it happened, how he found out... I’ve several head canon about it!)

The random AUs moments (and I say moments just because I wouldn’t really be interested in writing a whole story, I only imagine few moments of it): Hermione brining Harry at the Burrow at Christmas after Godric’s Hollow, with is locket attached to his chest (I think I stole the idea from Flo’s!); the trio finding Ginny in the cell in Malfoy Manor as well; and some dumb “Lily and James are resurrected post DH” trash XD Oh, also a real muggle AU with Harry as a self-defence coach and Ginny as trainee!

Do you accept prompts? As you can imagine especially in this period I’m not very good at commitment ^^’, but if you have a specific idea and want to give it a try (maybe during the winter holidays?) I’d be honored, if not able to make any promises!

Upcoming works you’re most excited about: definitely “Ghost of the past”!

I’m tagging @ballerinaroy again, @remedial-potions, @thedistantdusk, @thebiwholived and whoever wants to join ^^

EDIT: Ehm I got caught up with the stats when I wrote this and without realizing it I put a multi chapter in the “Most popular one shot” section, lol XD Problem fixed ;)

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

When You Least Expect It, Part Seven

Jensen x Musician!Reader; Nathan (OMC); Mama Mia (OFC)

Also featured this chapter: Rob Benedict, Briana Buckmaster, Jason Manns

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part seven is from BOTH POVs. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.  

Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify). Songs in this chapter include: “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”; “What About Love”, “The Joker”; “Whipping Post”

Beta’d by @closetspngirl who has contributed so much to this fic! Thank you for not only indulging my lunacy but encouraging it with gusto! She also put together the amazing wardrobe shown in this chapter, as well. I don’t know what I would do without you!!!

Chapter Summary: Realizing that its time to leave NJ again to get back to work on the festival and have a much-needed conversation with Jensen, Y/N meets up with everyone at ChiCon. This gives finally gives her a moment with Jensen and an added bonus of playing with Louden Swain, featuring Briana Buckmaster, on stage for a crowded ballroom; something that affects Jensen more than he was expecting it too.

Chapter Warnings: Ehhh... nothing really. 

WC: 9.5K

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online

It had been one month since Y/N left Austin and came back to New Jersey. One month of awkward texts with Jensen related only to work, daily calls or texts from Briana and at least one Skype or FaceTime call from Robbie every few days. When it came to the amount of work and scouting to be done for the festival, the little man was a bundle of nerves and Y/N was the only one who seemed to be able to talk him down.

February came, and that’s when the first real pangs of doubt began to creep in. The life she had begun in Texas was beginning to fade, and she found herself missing it. Y/N missed the townhouse and living so close to a city like Austin with the diversity in the restaurants, the bars, the bands, the nightlife… and of course, there was Jensen. She missed all of it. Not that life in New Jersey had been boring or lackluster. Y/N had gone back to work for Leo temporarily since she was handling both ends of the transactions now for the Brewfest. Being back in her small office in his hotel, living in the bungalow again felt good, but the longer the cold winds of winter at the shore blew through and chilled her to the bone, the more she really missed Austin.

It wasn’t all work, though. She had a couple of occasions to play at one of the bars that were still open in Seaside during the winter, as well as reconnect with a few friends from the Burlesque group. Y/N had even spent some time with Nathan, though when she did, she made sure to keep her guard up, be wary of any promises he made or plans he tried to get her to agree too. Reminiscing with him was a trap that was easier to fall into than she thought it would be, and after the third time they met for coffee, she invited him to go have dinner. Once or twice a week in the time she was home, she would run into him in town, or make plans to hang out. Y/N always tried to keep it in a public place, and never let him get too close. She was doing her best to follow Bri’s advice and figure out what it was she wanted from, not just Nathan, but life itself.

In between all of that, was Jensen. Y/N thought of him every day, and on more than one occasion picked up the phone to actually call him. However, knowing that he was traveling from Vancouver to conventions and back for the foreseeable future, she decided against it. After the way they left things, she thought maybe a random phone call wouldn’t be the best move and wanted to wait until she could see him face to face. When that would be, she didn’t know, but by the time Groundhog Day had rolled around, she felt ready to make it happen soon.

The morning she woke up with the intention to make arrangements to fly back, a winter storm warning had gone into effect, ultimately grounding all flights in or out of the area. Y/N knew the drill and began to run the errands necessary to hunker down for the long haul, getting supplies for two to three days at least. By the time she reached the bungalow and filled the small pellet stove in the corner of the room, the snow had started falling.

As a kid, seeing the beach turn from the beige sand, to white snow had always been sort of magical. Watching the waves crash and spray the icy mist into the swirling flakes made her feel like she was experiencing something majestic, and it always left her feeling a little whimsical and reflective. That’s what she was doing when she heard the knock at the door several hours later, just as the storm was hitting its peak.

Pulling the crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Y/N went to the front door and opened it enough to see who it was.

“Nathan?” she asked, then opened it further and with it came a burst of cold, snowy air. “Come in before the snow does.” She ushered him in and closed the door quickly. “What are you doing here?”

He removed his scarf and hat, shaking off the snow that littered his shoulders and boots. “I came by to make sure you were alright. Didn’t know if you realized that cell service is sketchy, wanted to be sure you had everything you needed.”

“Yeah, I saw the winter storm advisory last night, made sure to hit the market this morning. Don’t tell me you walked all the way here from Seaside Park. That’s a few miles at least.”

“No, I have my dad’s truck,” he said then paused before unzipping his coat. Y/N could see in his eyes he came not just to check up on her, but because he wanted to stay a while.

“I’m fine, Nathan. Just watching the snow, reading and staying warm. I have everything I need.”

“Ok,” he said and half turned back to the door, then faced her again. He wore that crooked grin that she used to love so much. “Well then, maybe you need some company?”

“Sure. But I am going to tell you now, you can’t stay the night. You have to leave before the sun goes down.”

“Of course, Y/N. I just thought we could hang out for a bit.”

“Want some tea?”

“No,” he laughed. “I hate that stuff. I’ll take a soda if you got any, though.”

“Sorry, fresh out,” she said, but there’s water or juice in the fridge.

“Sweet,” he replied as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on the rack, then removed his boots before heading to the refrigerator and helping himself.

Y/N strolled back to the couch and reclaimed her place near the window that overlooked the ocean. She brought her knees up into her chest and watched Nathan as he moved about the kitchen and the living room just as naturally as he did in the old days. When he finally sat, he took the spot on the opposite end of the same couch she was on and rested his arm along the back of it.

Whenever Y/N and Nathan saw each other while she was visiting this time around, things were always awkward in the beginning. It didn’t matter if it was just for coffee, or on the few occasions that she actually let him take her to dinner. It was almost as if neither of them knew what to do with the situation or what to say to one another. But given enough time, they would end up finding a comfortable conversation.

Some of the time she’d watch him as he talked and recognize the man she used to love; same high cheekbones, same crooked smile, and sandy brown hair. Only now, his hair was short instead of the shoulder length it was when they were younger. His sky blue eyes were still able to lock her in and make her wonder how it had all gone so wrong between them. He had been the love of her life, her prince charming, the man who was going to save her from the kind of life that you grew up promising yourself you’d never live. But it had all gone so, so wrong.

She considered asking him, potentially broaching a long overdue conversation that they needed to have; especially if there was any possibility of a future. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to start. She tried to hide the smile that wanted to come when she wondered what Bri would say about that, but it quickly faded when she realized how much she missed Bri, too. That would make her thoughts circle back around to Austin, again, and how much she longed to go back.

“Hey, haven’t seen these in a long time,” he said and leaned forward, and plucked one of the photo albums from underneath the coffee table.

“Oh, yeah…” she replied and craned her neck over to see which one he picked up. They had been there since she showed Jensen the pictures from Grease, which now felt like a million years ago.

“Holy shit, high school pictures,” he laughed and started flipping through the album.

Over the course of the next hour, Y/N sat a foot or two away, yet enjoyed talking about old times with him. It felt good to laugh with Nathan again; it felt good to have her friend back. She didn’t notice that he was inching closer and closer until suddenly the arm that had been draped around the back of the couch was now brushing against her shoulder.

Nathan continued shaking memories loose; he brought up their junior prom, and how they had spent the night on the beach under the Tiki bar, getting drunk and screwing around until dawn before falling asleep together wrapped up in a blanket. She was smiling at the recollection, enjoying the feeling it brought back into her life when she felt his fingers toying with a tuft of her hair.

“I’ve really missed this,” he said softly. “A lot. I’m glad you’ve let me back in and gave me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Nathan, I… I don’t know--”

He inched closer, and what he did next surprised her. Before she could react, Nathan was brushing his lips against hers. Her eyes stayed open, but his drifted closed. It only lasted for a moment, but in that time Y/N realized that she knew everything she needed to know. She didn’t push him away, even though something inside of her told her too. Y/N kissed him back, but timidly, and without passion. His lips parted against hers, making it clear that he wanted it to escalate, but after a moment, Y/N broke away.

She retreated from him and brought her fingers up, pressing them gently to her lips. “Nathan... “

“Don’t, ok? Don’t say it was a mistake. Just, promise me that you won’t shut down on me. If I was being pushy--”

“It’s not that,” Y/N said and swallowed hard. “I care about your recovery, Nate. Seeing how well you’re doing has even allowed me to start forgiving you. But in the spirit of honesty, you should know that I’m not ready to be with you again. I don’t know if I ever will be. That doesn’t mean there is someone else. It means that I am going back to Austin, and I am focusing on work and don’t want anything sort of romantic entanglements.”

“Oh,” he sighed, clearly disappointed. “That doesn’t mean we have to say goodbye though, right? Can I still call you? Keep in touch?”

“Sure,” she said, and genuinely meant it. “As long as you understand, that, for now, I just want to be your friend.”

She watched him process this and had a second where she didn’t know how he would react. He wasn’t the same Nate she knew most of her life, and yet he wasn’t the last version she knew, either. Nathan was turning into a product of both of those men, and she was still learning his mannerisms and couldn’t always tell what he was going to do.

Nathan made it clear he wanted her back, and this rejection could be dangerous if he wasn’t as far into his recovery as he had said. But once his shoulders relaxed, and he picked his head up to meet her gaze, he smiled more like the Nate of long ago.

“Of course, Y/N. I get it. I’m going to keep showing you that you can trust me again though.”

“You just keep doing what’s best for you, Nate. That’s what would make me the happiest.”

Y/N’s cell began ringing in the with the familiar tone of Robbie’s FaceTime calls. She hesitated to answer it, but also didn’t want to miss out on a chance to talk to him knowing there were some meetings coming up they needed to prep for.

“Excuse me,” she said to Nathan and got up from the couch, pulling the cell out of her pocket as she did.

Y/N moved through the room and stood at the precipice of the hallway as she answered the call.

“Hey Robbie, what’s shakin’?” she answered in greeting.

“Thank God you picked up. When are you coming back, lady? I need you in Austin. I won’t be able to get back to there for another week or so. Any chance you’re heading back soon?”

“I’m working on it Robert,” she replied with a sigh. “The damned snow, however, has other plans.”

“Soon-ish, then?”

“Yes, my darling. Soonish. Honestly, as soon as the airports open up, I’m getting a ticket and will be on my way.”

“Did he tell you that the TCAC meeting was pushed back to the end of February?” Robbie asked into the camera, and the concern she saw on his face made her feel guilty.

“No,” she answered softly.

Her disappointment was not lost on Robbie. He hesitated, not wanting to make her feel worse, though he knew Jensen had been avoiding her. He didn’t have all the details about what happened between them but knew enough to know something had. “He’s been crazy busy, you know. Traveling like a lunatic. I’m sure he just forgot.”

“I’m sure,” she agreed and immediately wanted to change the subject. “So, the grant proposals? Any word?”

“Yes! Actually,” Robbie paused, relieved that she was the one to shift gears and shuffled through some papers that were off screen. He held up two and smiled victoriously. “We got two approvals! One from the Austin Creative Alliance and another just came through yesterday from one of the Federal ones. Buuuttt… can’t seem too…” he drifted off to the side, leaning out of the camera frame again.

Y/N chuckled. “Rob, it’s fine, come on back.”

She shifted away from the wall by the hallway and wandered into the kitchen to put the tea kettle back on the stove. As she did, Rob came back into view and noticed Nathan in the background of her call.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. I won’t keep ya while I look for it.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… that’s ok. My friend Nate dropped by to be sure I was stocked up for the storm. He’s leaving soon, so if you need to go over more stuff later, I’ll be here.”

“Oh great. The band and I are going in to talk to a guy about some stuff coming up, so maybe I will give you a call later. This way you can be totally caught up before heading back to Austin. Which reminds me… did you make your travel arrangements yet for Boston or San Diego?”

“Yes. I am heading to Boston, San Diego and Seattle starting end of February through March. Couple days in each to secure all the contracts with the vendors. Oh, New Orleans, too.”

“Perfect. That means you’ll be back and able to head to Chicago with us, right? Same weekend as ChiCon? Thought we could meet up there and go check out a few bands.”

“Works for me,” Y/N said, and then realized that there would be no avoiding Jensen that weekend.

“Fantastic, you’re a gem, you know that?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere Robert.”

“Love it when you call me Robert,” he teased. “Ok, they’re yelling for me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Bye,” she chuckled and ended the video call. She returned the phone to her pocket and continued to fix herself a cup of tea.

“So, work friend?” Nathan asked, getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen now that her call was through.

“Yes.”

“Nice guy?”

“Yes, he is.”

Nathan nodded, leaned back against the counter and noticed she had only one cup out. “If you wanted me to go, you could just say so. I mean, you told him I was leaving soon. One cup out…”

Y/N sighed softly and tried to not turn the visit sour. “I thought you hated tea? Besides, it’s getting late. As well as things have been between us, I am not ready for you to stay here. With the weather being what it is, you probably should head back to your mom’s. I’m sure she could use your help with your dad being laid up with his foot in a cast. Can’t be easy for her to manage this weather on her own.”

He nodded, though she could see him straining to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m not trying to shut you out, Nathan. I genuinely have enjoyed hanging out with you again. You know, after all that shit happened--with the fight, and your life spiraling out of control--I never thought you’d be you again. Or that I would even be able to stand to be in the same room as you. But, here we are. Can’t that be enough for now?”

Nathan’s shoulders relaxed. “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Not if you want this to continue.” She was blunt, but she needed to be. Y/N didn’t want to take any chances where Nathan was concerned.

“Alright,” he finally replied and pushed off the counter. He went to take his coat off the hook and as he laced his arms through the sleeves, turned to face her again. “I’m grateful you’re giving me another chance, Y/N. I am. So, you call the shots, ok? I know you’re busy, but maybe once your traveling calms down, I can even come to visit you in Austin. Never been to Texas before.”

The idea of him in Austin felt strange. There was a sudden fear that if the two different parts of her life came together like that it would blow up her entire world in some glorious fashion. Trying to neither encourage or discourage the idea of his visit, she simply shrugged, found her most pleasant smile and nodded.

Nathan moved across the kitchen and took her in an embrace before she had the chance to say no. It was a familiar feeling; similar to what one experience when finding an old winter coat they hadn’t worn in years. It may not fit properly anymore, but the quilting of the fabric brought back pleasant memories.

“Call me, ok?” he said before releasing her.

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, Nate.”

When Nate opened the door to go, the wind whipped through and the day’s fading light allowed him just enough time to get home before going completely dark. When the door latched shut behind him, she felt a mild sense of relief that she was alone again. There were still a lot of things she wanted to have time to mull over before returning to Austin, especially before seeing Jensen again in Chicago. The extended trip home had been good for her, despite the reasons she ended up there. It allowed her time to be sure that Austin and the job were the things she truly loved and wanted in her life.

Even the time she spent with Nate had been helpful in coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t something that had to stand in her way anymore. Her feelings for Jensen were still confusing and muddled, but in her heart, Y/N felt sure that her time as Nate’s girlfriend had come to an end. Though unexpected, the kiss they had shared that night cemented that. She could find room in her heart for him as a friend, but there was no future for them as a couple.

Lost in thoughts, Y/N didn’t move from the counter until the kettle began to whistle behind her. She flipped off the burner, and as she poured the hot water into the cup, she felt determined to settle the Jensen business. With so many of her other uncertainties fading away, she wanted this one too as well. Taking her cell phone back out of her pocket, she went to the contacts in her messaging app and pulled up “Mama”. If anyone could help her sort things out, it would be that tall drink of water.

<<Hey, any chance you’re around once snowmaggedon stops?

It only took about ten seconds for her to respond.

>>I’ve always got time for you, sugar. Whatcha thinkin’?

<<Rehearsal?

>>Cancelled.

<<Damn. Ok, snow should be done by midnight. Coffee at my place in the AM?

>>Be there with bells on.

<<Knowing you, I expect nothing less. Luv u!

>>Back atcha

The following morning dawned bright, with a clear sky and a snowy beach that reflected the colors of sunrise. Mama was knocking on Y/N’s door by quarter past nine, holding a pastry box in one hand and a garment bag in the other.

Y/N opened the door to greet her, and immediately broke out into laughter as she realized that Mama was wearing sleigh bells in her hair.

“You’re a freak,” Y/N laughed and gave the woman a big wet kiss on her cheek. “But you’re my freak.”

“Always and forever,” Mama purred lowly, winking at Y/N as she handed off both the pastry box and bag. “Dear Lord, I have not been here in forever! When was the last time?”

“God… it has to be last spring, maybe. Maybe even Christmas prior.”

“Either way, too long. Though I see you’ve kept the decor fisherman chic. Please, when will you let me redecorate for you?”

“One day, I promise. But for now, I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Y/N moved around her small kitchen, pouring coffee and unveiling the apple crumb cake Mama brought from Freedman’s Bakery. The smell of apples and cinnamon instantly filled the room and mixed with the aroma of the coffee, Mama began to hum.

“Mmmm MM! It smells good in here. Like a little slice of heaven,” she sighed and pulled out one of the two chairs at the kitchen table. Just as she sat, she gratefully took the hot mug Y/N offered her. “What sort of things do you have on your mind?”

“Well,” Y/N started, then pulled out a seat of her own and began to slice the crumb cake. “I texted you last night because I had something on my mind. However, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I started thinking about work, and had something else entirely to talk to you about.” Y/N was rambling and Mama sensed she was probably already a pot deep into the coffee.

“Honey,” Mama said and covered Y/N’s hands to get them to stop fidgeting with the cake. “Slow down. First things first… what was on your mind last night?”

She hesitated, unsure of how to start. “I didn’t get to tell you because you were in Florida, but I went to a New Year’s party, back in Austin.”

“Ok, sounds fun. Continue,” Mama said and motioned towards her before sipping at her coffee.

“Right. Well, I guess I should start with saying that when I was home for Christmas, Nate showed up here Christmas morning. Then, I went back early so I could go to this party with Jensen. He kissed me at midnight and then I panicked and ran out.”

Mama coughed as she tried to swallow her coffee and then carefully placed the mug back on the table. She grabbed a napkin and wiped at the corners of her mouth like the old southern debutante that she had once been. Once she regained her composure, she sat up straighter and looked Y/N squarely in the eye.

“You best start from the beginning and leave no detail out. Because hearing that you spent an evening with that luscious man is one thing, but also hearing that dickhead’s name in the mix has soured the first bit. Explain yourself, please. What the hell do you mean that Nathan was here on Christmas? Why didn’t you call me?”

“He took me by surprise. He wanted to talk.”

“And you let him in?”

“Yes...” Y/N replied with a sigh, knowing she would get a barrage of crap from Mama for that.

“I’m in shock. After what he did to you!?”

“I know… I just… I don’t know. He wanted to apologize. He’s working the twelve steps--”

“Twelve steps? Ha! Twelve steps…” she muttered. “I didn’t realize you could twelve-step your way out of being a shithead.”

“I know he was terrible then, but for a lot of years he wasn’t and I guess I wanted to know if there was anything good left in him. I saw a glimmer of who he used to be.”

“We need to move on from Nate, cause honey, it just makes my blood boil.”

“Ok, so after he left, I went back to Austin a few days later and went to a party with Jensen. We’ve been getting along great, working together well, and he’s a lot of fun.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” she mused, her expression quickly fading from aggravated to dreamy. “Now I believe you mentioned something about a kiss…”

“He did. WE did… at midnight,” Y/N answered and couldn’t help feeling the twist in her gut that was now associated with that night.

“And?”

“And… it…”

“Y/N?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never felt anything like that. Ever.”

Mama’s face relaxed into a euphoric afterglow. “Please, dear, sweet Lord in Heaven tell me you let that man have his way with you.”

“No!” Y/N laughed and got up from the seat. She was feeling anxious about it all; mostly because she felt so stupid for having run away from him. “It was amazing, and then I got nervous. Someone walked in and it gave me a moment to basically lose my mind and run.”

“You left?!” Mama’s jaw dropped and she quickly stood from the table. “What the--Child, I should whoop your ass. First, you let Nathan in this house, then you run out on that precious Texas boy? It’s like I don’t even know you,” she huffed.

Mama, for a woman of her generous height and weight moved across the kitchen in a heartbeat and lightly smacked the back of Y/N’s head twice.

“One for lettin’ Nathan in, the other for running out on Jensen!”

“Ow,” Y/N whined and rubbed the back of her head. Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Trust me, I wish I knew why I do what I do. One second we were… you know, gettin’ handsy, and the next minute…” she shrugged.

“That son of a bitch Nathan… he was on your mind, wasn’t he?”

“Partially. It was more than that though. I’ve had two relationships in my life, Mama. Two. Nathan, and he who shall not be named.”

“Mmmm, yes. I forgot you had your own Voldemort. But that was what... six months after Nathan left and lasted for less than a month? You can’t count him… especially cause I can’t even remember his name.”

“Whatever, my point is, that both of these relationships were toxic. The last thing I want right now is another go-round with getting my heart broken. I should never have dated after Nathan, so figured I would try a one night stand. It left me so cold and empty. I don’t want that, either. I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship with Jensen, or have it turn toxic.”

“Sug, I get that. But you can’t push your feelings away every time they try and wake you up.”

“Can’t I? I love this job, Mama. I feel like I finally found what I am meant to do. What if we slept together, and it got weird. I wouldn’t be able to work with him. Besides, it’s not even all that happened.”

“What else?” she sighed and rubbed at her temples. “This should have been a Bloody Mary breakfast.”

Y/N ignored her quip. “The next day I told him I wanted to talk. He said he was busy. So I stopped by to drop off some contracts and it turned out he was home. He lied because he didn’t want to talk.”

“That’s why you are back here, instead of living in Austin?”

Y/N nodded and watched with anxiety as Mama seemed to sift through a host of quiet thoughts before deciding how to respond.

“If I didn’t love you as I do... I would smack you again.”

“Why?”

“He lied? So what?! You ran out on him! You know what that’s gonna do to a man’s pride. Hell, anyone’s pride?! Sugar, you… you need to stop lettin’ that heart of yours dictate all your decisions. That man--I spent time with him, ok? I saw how he watched you on that stage. You didn’t. I saw how his face lit up, and that gorgeous grin spread from ear to ear. You mesmerized him.”

Mama took Y/N’s chin between her fingers and lovingly lifted her face so their eyes could meet. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t like that boy.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, almost pathetically. “I do like him. But I’m also very scared of him.”

Mama considered this for a minute and smiled at her friend. “Then, you need to go back to Texas, make amends, and rekindle that friendship you two had been startin’. I think that will be how you stop being so damn scared.”

“I have a flight out tonight,” Y/N said and laughed when Mama raised both fists into the air in celebration.

“That’s my girl!”

“I mean, I won’t see him for a while, but I think you’re right. I owe him an apology. I just hope he can forgive me.”

“I have no doubt that he probably already has. Now, that’s settled… Nat--”

“No. I’ve given him enough thought lately. I’d rather talk about my burst of inspiration that I had last night.”

“Which was?”

“You, the whole troupe… I want you to perform at the festival.”

Mama’s eyes grew large, her plump dimpled cheeks expanding as the smile unfurled across her painted pink lips. “Shut the hell up! Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean… I am still working out all the logistics, but, we have a few stages to fill and I thought who better than to take on one of the theaters for the Saturday night slot? Whatever you guys wanna do… it’s your call. We have a hotel all reserved for talent, so your accommodations are taken care of. And I am sure I could help you with the travel arrangements. I just need you guys to say yes, and you’re in.”

“Well slap my ass and call me Sally!” Mama cackled and smacked her knee; her southern lilt bolder than usual. “You best believe we’ll be there, suga!”

“Fantastic! I will get you all of the details as soon as I get back to Austin.”

“Well now, hold on one second… you know what’s funny,” Mama said and went into the living room to retrieve the garment bag she had brought with her. “I brought this today because I thought you may want it for something. Didn’t know what, but when Marie brought it into rehearsals last I was there, everyone agreed only you would be able to pull this costume off.”

She hung the hanger on the top door of the refrigerator and slowly unzipped the vinyl bag. Y/N softly gasped when she saw the frock Mama had brought her. It was a full-length strapless dress that had a corset top with a heart-shaped bustier with deep purple accents, streaming out into a black skirt that was shorter in the front and flowed out from the back. The skirt itself had black velvet swirls imprinted on the ebony material and heavily ruffled bottom that would give it an amazing look when it twirled.

“Mama…” she breathed and ran her fingers over the dark purple accents. “This is gorgeous.”

“It is. And in the bottom are the accessories. You have to wear this. At least once. And what a better place than at the festival. So, you agree to perform one number with us, then we will be there to fill your stage for an entire night.”

Y/N considered the offer and knew that she had to say yes. She hadn’t gotten to the point where she thought about her part in performing at the festival. Working behind the scenes had completely garnered all her attention, so this was the first time she gave it any real thought.

“Alright,” she said, “you win. I will take this back to Austin with me and put it aside for a night on stage with The Corsets. Do I get to pick the routine, or…?”

“Oh no, honey. I’m the Creative Director now,” Mama pinched her cheek and took her place back at the table. “Now, don’t think I am done talking about this whole Jensen situation. I wanna hear more details about this New Year’s Eve party…” She leaned back and sipped her coffee before taking a large bite of her crumb cake. “You best start talking.”

For the rest of the morning, Y/N caught Mama up on New Year’s Eve, including playing with Bri, hearing Jensen sing, the encounter with Dee all the way up to her moment in the game room. By the time the coffee was gone and the cake was only crumbs, Mama had heard the tale, soup to nuts, and sat there stunned, letting it all sink in.

They talked a while longer before Y/N realized the time and had to get ready to leave for the airport. Mama had hugged her tightly with both a warning and a promise before she left.

“I promise that we will put on one hell of a show for those Texans. But, in the meantime, stop being stupid and go kiss the cute boy. Let him know that you’re all in, even if it is a slow-moving gamble. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You hear? I’ll keep my promise to whoop you when I get to Austin if you don’t. Got it?”

“Yes, Mama,” Y/N laughed and embraced her again before watching her go out into the cold winter air.

Hours later, as she made her way through the airport and onto the plane, she felt good about going back. There were still a few lingering doubts about how she and Jensen would be with seeing each other again, but there was time to work on that. First, she needed to get back to Austin, her new home, and refocus herself completely on making the Brewfest as big, bold and beautiful as Jensen’s vision for it was. Outside of that, everything would just have to wait.

Much like Y/N expected, there wasn’t much of a chance to see Jensen through the rest of February and March. It was disappointing to her, mostly because she was really starting to miss him. His schedule in Vancouver changed last minute, which caused him to have to miss the Texas Creative Arts Council meeting as well as a few others he had intended to be at, in turn dashing her hopes of finally getting to talk face to face. Her own travel schedule picked up, as she zigzagged across the country meeting with business owners, sponsors, and supporters of the Hometown Brewfest extravaganza.   

The frequency of text exchanges between them increased, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that they could still work through whatever they needed to. As the weeks carried on, and the dates of ChiCon inched closer, Y/N found herself growing more and more anxious about finally having that moment.

Two weeks before, the whole group was in Nashville for a con, while Y/N was wrapping up some last minute business in New Orleans. She was chatting with Rob about a band she found by happenstance, and during the video call, Jensen passed behind him in the background. Her heart lept up in her throat, though she successfully kept her outward demeanor calm and collected. Y/N watched as Jensen did a double take as he noticed her on the screen of Rob’s phone. Leaning over his friend’s shoulder, he shoved his face in the camera and smiled, gave a simple wave and then was called away before he could actually speak.

It was enough to give her that final boost of confidence that they would be ok, but she still desperately needed to clear the air with him. That, however, wouldn’t happen for another two weeks when she found herself pacing the backstage area of the hotel in Chicago where the stars of Supernatural were gathering in preparation for a weekend full of panels, photo ops and a jam-packed concert with Robbie’s band.

Y/N had arrived that Saturday morning well after the festivities had gotten underway. Bri was the first person who she found and was greeted by an over-exuberant hug and the subsequent barrage of questions about everything under the sun. She was quickly whisked away to her panel with Kim, leaving Y/N holding her credentials and aimlessly wandering around the hotel. That was until she found herself on a mission to finally locate and talk to Jensen.

The extra wide hallway of the hotel outside the green room was carpeted with the ugliest yellow, gold and blue carpeting Y/N had ever seen. Though, as she paced it back and forth, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. Eventually, she found herself pacing along the blue lines that intertwined between the yellow and gold diamond pattern. As ugly as it was, it was somehow keeping her nerves at bay. She could run into Jensen at any time now, and it took all of her willpower not to just turn and run… again.

She wouldn’t though. Her and Jensen needed to set things straight. She didn’t know if this was the way to do it, or what she would say exactly, but she knew it had to be done. Y/N had gotten a peek at his schedule when she checked in and got her credentials to be able to come and go as she pleased. He would be in the green room now, or at least on his way there. So that’s where she headed.

Y/N stalled once she reached the green room door, deciding that maybe just barging in and demanding he talk to her was a bad idea. That’s when the pacing started again and continued for several minutes. She bit on her lower lip and closed her eyes, hanging her head and trying to decide what to do.

She continued walking, but with her eyes closed, she didn’t realize she was walking off her pattern, and straight into oncoming people.

“Whoa there!”

Y/N looked up, and in horrific slow motion, realized she ran square into Jensen’s chest. His hands had gently grabbed her shoulders when they collided, and they lingered there now as recognition touched his features one by one. Seeing him again after so long felt like a shock to her system; her mouth went dry, and she could feel her hands starting to tremble. When she tried to swallow, it stuck like a lump in her throat cutting off the air to her brain and making her feel light headed.

“H-Hey,” she breathed.

“Robbie said you were gonna be here,” he said, then nervously ran his tongue out and over his bottom lip. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, still unsure of what to say. “How’ve you been?” Her words were hesitant and staggered; her gaze unable to break from his.

Jensen finally realized his hands were still on her shoulders and quickly let go.

“Good. Busy, but good. You?”

“Better now that--”

The green room door opened with a bang, startling both Jensen and Y/N. Half a dozen people funneled out, mostly hotel staff, but Robbie was among them.

“Just who I was looking for!” he exclaimed and walked over to them. “You,” he said pointing to Jensen, “have about two minutes before Rich is gonna call you up for your panel with Misha. And you,” he turned to Y/N, “need to come with me while I got a quick ten minutes and figure out where we are going tonight if there’s time. There are a few clubs we gotta hit between tonight and tomorrow.”

“Can you just give us a minute, Rob?” Jensen asked him, and yet, his eyes still didn’t waver from Y/N’s gaze.  

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right over there, Y/N.” He looked hesitantly between them, and quietly stepped back and around the corner.

Jensen cleared his throat and turned back to her, unable to disguise just how nervous he was. “About what happened… I wanna, I mean, we should talk, but I do gotta go right now--”

“Right, of course,“ she said, taking a step back from him and suddenly scared to say what she wanted to. “We can do it another time.”

“Later, you’re scouting bands tonight with Rob? Sounds fun. Maybe if you’re not back too late--”

“Mr. Ackles!”

A small blonde haired woman popped her head from around the other end of the hallway and waved frantically for him to come.

“I gotta run,” he said but took a beat to hold her gaze a little longer. It took the impatient little woman at the end of the hallway calling him again, to get his feet moving.

Jensen took a few steps in the direction he had to go, then turned to face her as he walked backward down the corridor. He chuckled nervously and Y/N felt a rush of relief when she realized he seemed truly happy to see her.

“Don’t go far, okay? The panel only lasts about an hour. Maybe we could talk after?  I’d really like too--”

“Jensen, please, the panel is starting!” The woman was pleading with him now.

“I’ll be around, Hollywood. Come find me,” she shrugged, trying to be calm, cool and casual. Y/N held back as best she could, but Jensen got the idea that she was happy to see him, too.

“You got it, Trix. I’ll come to find you.” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk, and as he continued to walk away from her, Y/N could hear his happy chuckle fade down the hallway. Just before he turned and disappeared completely, he paused and gave Y/N a wink before heading off to his panel.

When he had disappeared around the far corner, she sighed heavily and laughed to herself, completely overcome with relief. A moment later she heard Robbie walk up behind her and clear his throat.

“Everything go ok?” he asked hesitantly.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,” she said and did her best to stow the overwhelming relief she had over that encounter with Jensen. “I think we’ll be good.”

“Good,” Robbie said and slung his arm over her shoulders. “Now, let’s talk about the weekend, shall we?” He turned her around and guided her in the opposite direction.

The panel, one that he normally loved doing, felt like an eternity on that particular Saturday afternoon. Jensen and Misha answered questions, engaged in their usual banter, and of course, made a room of hundreds of people scream and laugh with delight. He did his best to maintain his normal energetic vibe, but even Misha could see that his mind just wasn’t in the game.

Instead, Jensen’s mind was firmly stuck on Y/N.

She was there, in the same city, in the same hotel just a few hundred feet away. All he wanted to do was go and see her, talk to her, hash this dumb shit out that made them lose three months of getting closer; three months of seeing her smile, hearing her voice and getting to know more about her.

Jensen was pissed at himself for weeks after New Year’s Day. Regardless of whether he had the right to be upset at her or not, he reverted to his petty and childish demeanor, where women were concerned, and he beat himself up for it. His knee jerk reaction to her running out had everything to do with Dee, and not so much Y/N herself. He needed to tell her that’s why he lied about something so stupid to avoid her. Y/N would understand… that’s what made her different.

Y/N had made the effort, hadn’t she? She came to leave the envelope, and in it was her plea to talk to him. She wanted to explain herself, but at that moment he just couldn’t let her. Then she ran back to New Jersey so fast, which initially made him angry. But it didn’t take him long to realize that she’d been through just as much bullshit with her past as he had, and instead of being angry, he should try and sympathize.

Weeks later he happened to talk to Rob who’d mentioned in passing that he had a FaceTime call with Y/N. It had been in the middle of the snowstorm towards the end of January that she told Rob she would be coming back to Austin. That wasn’t all though, was it? As Jensen sat on the panel stage, and half listened to Misha tell a story about his daughter that made the crowd roar with laughter, he was thinking about the guy hanging out with Y/N while she was home; the one Robbie saw in the background that day. As if on cue, he laughed at Misha’s story, joining in with the rest of the ballroom, but on the inside, he was simmering with jealousy.

Jensen wondered if that was the same “old friend” that showed up at her place on Christmas, and of course, couldn’t help but be curious if that guy was part of why she’d run out on him. Swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat, he continued on with his Q&A with the fans and tried to forget it for the time being.

Finally, the panel had come to an end, with it also being their last panel of the day. Misha was escorted to his last set of photo ops, while Jensen was able to head back to the green room, hoping that he would once again bump into Y/N.

The hallway where he had left her was now empty, as was the green room. He considered calling her and asking where she was, but instead texted Rob and asked if they were still together.

<<Hey man, is Y/N still with you?

>>Nah, she went to check a few places out while it was still light out. She’ll be back for SNS.

Jensen sighed and sent back a quick reply, then tucked his phone away and headed back to his own room to get ready for that night’s concert.

Louden Swain took the stage around nine that night. They played through a few of their originals, and then a handful of covers with some of the cast. Jensen knew he’d go up for a couple of songs, but he was holding out until the end so he could catch Y/N.

“Hey handsome,” Bri greeted, coming up alongside where Jensen was sitting, startling him out of his thoughts. “How’d your day go today?”

“Great,” he said with a tired smile. “Long day though. How about you?”

“Oh you know, fantastic. Kim and I kicked ass. Had some great ops… a cocktail or two in between. You know, the usual.”

“That’s my girl,” he teased and then perked up thinking she could help him. “Any chance you’ve seen Y/N around?”

“Yes! Earlier today when she first came in, then about five minutes ago. She’ll be here in a second, why? Got something you need to say to her? Hmmmm?” Bri raised one perfectly manicured brow at him, challenging him to open up a bit more.

“Yes. Actually, I do.”

“Good boy. I know she wants to talk to you too--” From the stage, Bri heard her cue to go up with Robbie for her song. “Look, she’s around. Talk. To. Her. Then, keep her close, I’m gonna need her.” She wiggled her brows and stuck her tongue out playfully before bounding up the short set of steps that would take her backstage.

Jensen chuckled as she disappeared behind the curtain and out to the roar of applause from the crowd. He tried to think of what he would be doing that night with the band. Jason was playing too, and they talked about The Joker and maybe Whipping Post. He closed his eyes and ran through both songs, half hearing Robbie and Bri singing “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” coming from the stage. He certainly didn’t hear Y/N and she came from around the corner and stood in front of him.

“Hey stranger,” she said softly. Despite the music coming from close behind him, he heard her perfectly.

Jensen opened his eyes and thought maybe he was just imagining her there. She looked different than she had earlier. Gone was her T-shirt and ripped jeans, a look that he really loved on her. Now she wore the tight blue jeans and knee-high boots with a black and white, long sleeve peasant-style blouse that was loosely tied at the neck and open enough to accentuate her cleavage. Jensen had a split-second thought about what she had on beneath it before he was able to make himself speak again.

“Hey yourself,” he breathed, standing up from the platform he was sitting on. “How’s your, uh, you know, how’s it--”

“I’m good, Jay. Robbie asked me to come back for the concert. Glad you stuck around. Are you going up there tonight?”

Jensen nodded, suddenly tongue-tied and unsure of what to say.

“They sound great,” Y/N motioned towards the stage and took a few steps closer. “That’s a great song.”

“It is,” he said, but needed to say more and was tired of waiting. “Y/N,” he paused and waited for her to face him. She did, and he could tell she knew what he was about to say. “About New Year’s…”

“Jay, wait. Before you say anything… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away like I did. I shouldn’t have--”

“It's okay. I shouldn’t have lied about the stupid movie. It was all so…”

“Stupid?”

“Childish. I guess I could give you a laundry list of reasons--”

“But they wouldn’t matter,” she said quietly and cast her gaze down to her feet. When she looked up at him again, he saw something in her face that made him relax and understand she wanted to move on as badly as he did.

“Yeah. Can we just,” he sighed and shrugged, “just get back to being friends?”

“Yes. I want that, more than anything,” she sighed in relief.

“Good,” he breathed and took a hesitant step closer to her. Y/N stepped in and put her arms around his neck to hug him. Though it took him by surprise, he didn’t waste a second in returning the embrace. She felt so good in his arms as they snaked their way around her waist. It took a lot of willpower on his part to stop himself from nuzzling his face into her neck and drawing in a deep breath of her scent.

From the stage, the music shifted and while the band kept playing, Bri popped her head through the curtain and saw Y/N with Jensen.

“Hate to break up this very much needed moment, but Y/N, I need you up here please.”

Jensen reluctantly released her and saw the scheming look in Briana’s eyes. He narrowed his gaze at her, and she just slyly winked. “Come on slowpoke! They’re waiting.”

“Who’s waiting?” she asked, looking curiously between Jensen and Bri.

“Everyone…” Bri replied and swept back the curtain so Y/N could see the audience.

“What? Oh no, I didn’t--I’m not--”

“You are, and you can. Come on, lady! Time to get your cute little ass up here and sing on stage with me and Robbie.”

Y/N looked to Jensen to save her, but he just shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with Bri on this one. Like I’d ever pass up a chance to watch you on stage.”

Realizing she was being ganged up on, Y/N sighed as her chin fell to her chest in defeat and she made her way up the small set of stairs. “I hate you both,” she chided and both Bri and Jensen rolled their eyes.

Jensen watched from backstage as she got up next to Robbie who was on the mic and introduced Y/N to the crowd. When he spoke about the Brewfest the crowd cheered, and it was the first time Jensen understood just how much work she’d been putting into it, not just into organizing things, but getting the word out to the public about the upcoming event.

Robbie leaned over and whispered something in her ear, Y/N nodded and faced the crowd, giving them a wave. Jensen saw how they seemed to love her already and they hadn’t even heard her sing yet. Robbie faced the band and signaled the next song as the familiar beat of Heart’s “What About Love” kicked in.

Y/N started to sing, and Jensen felt his knees go weak. It had been a while, too long he would say if someone had asked him since he had heard her sing. She fell right into the groove with the band, completely unaware of how sexy and majestic she was on the stage. Bri was beside her, sharing the verses and singing harmonies together. They blended effortlessly with Robbie’s voice, too. Y/N held the notes and used her strong bravado to carry them out, once again making the crowd go wild.

Hints of jealousy filled Jensen, but not because of the reaction she was garnering, but because he wasn’t on stage next to her. How could he have not sung with her yet? At least strummed a guitar while she sat across from him, her tender pitch humming along with whatever he was playing. It suddenly became of utmost importance to him to share a stage with her, but for now, he just hung back and relished in the way her voice made him feel. Anyone that saw him watching her would know that he was so clearly infatuated with this girl, and almost nothing would have pulled him away.  

As the song wound towards the end, Jason breezed past Jensen, smacking his shoulder along the way.

“Almost ready, brother? Gonna kick it off with ‘The Joker’, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Just like we said, call me in when you’re ready.”

“You got it!” Jason replied before running out on the stage.

Jason handled the first chorus, and during the musical interlude, he brought Jensen up and he easily slipped into the version of himself he brought out on the Saturday Night Specials. He noticed that Briana and Y/N were still up there, yet off towards stage right, and singing along with the chorus of the song. Jensen casually strolled in their direction, just feeling the need to be as close to Y/N as possible. The moment the music came back around to where he picked up the song, happened to be the same moment that Jensen walked around behind her, then was at her side. Without giving it a second thought, he draped his arm around her shoulders and sang the lines directly to her… their eyes locked as if he was speaking solely to Y/N and not to a room of hundreds of people.

“You’re the cutest thing I ever did see…

Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree

Lovey-dovey lovey-dovey lovey-dovey all the time...

Oooey baby I sure show you a good time…”

The song played on, and eventually, he moved back across the stage and sang out to the crowd. But the expression that came to rest on her face was not something he would ever forget. He caught glimpses of her smiling as her eyes followed across the stage. He liked how it felt for her to watch him; he felt uninhibited and free to be himself.

When it was over, he was disappointed as Bri grabbed Y/N’s hand now that their turn on stage was done. They waved to the audience and the band transitioned into “Whipping Post” while they exited through the back.

As Jensen belted out line after line of The Allman Brothers song, he wished Y/N had stayed out there with them and secretly hoped she was watching from backstage. Thank God he was singing a song he knew without having to think about because all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to have her back around. At that moment, Jensen had felt better than he had in a very long time. 

If you want to be removed from the list, just drop me an ask or DM. If you want to be added to any of the tag groups below, asks are open!

Everything Tags: @kazosa // @sorenmarie87  // @lefthologramdeer //  @his-paradox //  @letsby // @thefaithfulwriter

SUPERNATURAL TAGS: @wings-of-a-raven // @negans-wife // @mrsbarnes-rogers  // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk // @babykalika2001 // @superwhovianfangirl81 // @toobusynerdfighting // @missihart23 // @crowleysreigningqueenofhell // @idreamofplaid // @thewinchesterchronicles // @wayward-gypsy  // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy  // @22sarah08 // @witch-of-letters// @cole-winchester // @rainflowermoon // @adoptdontshoppets // @waywardvalkyrie // @fandomoniumflurry // @gnrfanfic // @blackcherrywhiskey // @jessieray98  // @lyoly  // @a–1–1–3 // @31shadesofbrown // @whereismyangel-damnitdeanshare // @pilaxia // @screechingartisancashbailiff //  @kgbrenner // @holylulusworld // @deansenwackles // @jamielea81 // @coffeebooksandfandom // @logical-princey // @gemini0410 // @salt-n-burn-em-all // @collette04 // @mrswhozeewhatsis // @deathofmissjackson // @lauravic // @akshi8278 // @katehuntington

When You Least Expect It: @winchest09 // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @aomi-nabi // @luciathewinchestergirl // @alexisxwinchester // @moonxdance // @seppys-return-to-madness // @donnaintx // @deans-baby-momma // @the-is13

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] Uduki Arata - Story of Colors Drama Track 1

Um... Arata and Aoi are my two Tsukiuta oshis so I decided to go ahead and translate Arata’s drama track since I’ll be doing Aoi’s drama tracks, too~! ww 

Okay, since this is my first time translating for Tsukiuta and it has a lot of following compared to TsukiPro, if you’d like to use these translations to put to the drama track in a video or if you want to re-translate them, please just ask me for permission first before using them ^^ 

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please just like/reblog them instead ^^

Under the cut, enjoy!

Track 01: [冬・まだ遠い春] “Winter – A Spring that’s still faraway”

[0:00]

  PERSON A: What? Is something going on in the park?

PEROSN B: I can’t really tell but it looks like some filming’s going on.

PERSON C: What? We can’t pass through the park?

STAFF: We’re so sorry for the inconvenience. We’re preparing for filming right now so, you can’t use this road.

STAFF: Will it be okay with crossing through the small road the other way?

PERSON A: Um, excuse me? What is the filming for? A T.V show? A drama?

STAFF: It’s for a commercial. We’re in an information ban so I can’t talk in detail about it, sorry!

PERSON B: Heh~ You think there are celebs around?

PERSON A: Like idols and stuff~?

ARATA: (whispering) Too bad~ We are idols and all but, we’re dudes~

ARATA: There aren’t any girls around~

AOI: Arata…! Shh…!

ARATA: It’s okay, it’s okay. If we walk around confidently, no one will notice we’re here, Aoi-kun.

ARATA: Still, it’s a perfect day for filming, huh?

AOI: True. I’m glad~

AOI: Do you think the tree over there is a cherry blossom?

AOI: It’s still December so I guess it doesn’t have buds yet.

ARATA: We have another outdoor filming where the cherry blossoms are in bloom, right?

AOI: I think I heard so, too.

AOI: Waiting for the long winter to end, spring will come, and we’ll be exerting great effort then.

AOI: It’s a CM with the concept of “success in exams” after all.

AOI: What we’re filming now is the winter chapter. The next one will be called “spring chapter” it seems.

ARATA: Winter, spring, success in exams, huh.

ARATA: A student preparing for exams… We were like that, too, a while back but somehow it sounds kinda nostalgic hearing it, huh?

AOI: E-even though it wasn’t that so long ago, yeah…

AOI: Ah, speaking of a December back when we were 3rd years in high school…

AOI: We were becoming desperate because it was the “final stage” or whatever, right?

AOI: We put reference books, dictionaries, and stuff inside our bags and studied so hard whenever we could.

ARATA: No doubt it was the most I’ve ever desperately studied in my life.

AOI: (laughs) Me, too.

ARATA: In the end, we didn’t really attend prep school, huh.

ARATA: But, we managed to pass university exams magnificently with just the cramming we did with the guys at the dorm.

ARATA: I’m so grateful~

AOI: Oh, we did! The best kind of cramming~

AOI: When our studying for entrance exams coincided with Kakeru and Koi’s studying, Hajime-san and Haru-san who were acting as the teachers split in two groups.

ARATA: I heard that Shun-san was the one who taught You and Yoru, too.

AOI: Yup, yup~ We did a lot of studying here and there in the dorms, huh.

ARATA: It all turned out great in the end though!

ARATA: I mean, we live in the dorms so we’re practically in contact 24/7 with our “teachers,” right?

ARATA: When there’s something we wanna ask or if there’s something we can’t understand, we can just ask them right away.

ARATA: We don’t have time limits.

ARATA: When we see someone studying, we feel like we wanna do our best, too.

ARATA: It really was the best kind of prep school, huh?

AOI: (chuckles) No doubt about that.

AOI: I’m sure that the students are doing their best to study for exams around this time like we did.

ARATA: You’re right. Then, shall we go and get ready to film a CM for our kohais who are doing their best?

(Arata starts stretching)

ARATA: (yawns) The weather’s too good that I’m kinda sleepy.

AOI: Amazing… His motivation vanished in 5 seconds…

ARATA: Hm~ It’s so like me, isn’t it?

[03:48]

  ARATA: Alrighty…

AOI: Welcome back. Are you done with make-up, too?

ARATA: I am. The next thing to do is stay put here until they call us, right?

AOI: Yeah.

ARATA: (yawns)

AOI: Uwah~ Arata in a gakuran looks so fresh. (1)

ARATA: You, too, you know? Our school uniforms have always been blazers after all.

AOI: Yup~ And then, whenever we get work related to something like this, it’s… It’s really only sometimes but, it’s always been blazers, too, so I haven’t tried a gakuran on yet.

ARATA: Me, too! I did think that I wanna try wearing one but, I didn’t think that I’d get to do it outside a school setting.

AOI: Well, we’re in this kind of business, y’know~? (chuckles)

AOI: How is it? Do I look like a proper high schooler?

ARATA: You do, you do. I have no complaints at all.

ARATA: What about me?

AOI: You look perfectly like a high schooler, too!

AOI: It looks like our maturity as adults when we can no longer look good in high schooler’s outfits is still far, huh?

ARATA: Like, thinking positive, we still have a lot of chances to play high school students?

AOI: (laughs)

AOI: During spring’s next filming… We’ll be proper members of society then, huh.

ARATA: Somehow, time flies too fast, doesn’t it?

AOI: Really. Even our friends are like, “it’s so tiring to go to the company every day,” or they’re always wearing business suits all the time.

AOI: Everyone’s a proper member of society now.

AOI: Even though everyone was wearing a uniform like this just a while ago, huh?

ARATA: Yeah! Like, they get promoted and stuff and have subordinates, right?!

ARATA: Subordinates, I tell you!

AOI: Well yeah, there’s that too but, do you think we’ll hear from them stuff like, “I got married!” or “This person here is my wife!” or something like that?

ARATA: That’s completely possible, too. I hear that there are some who already have children at this age, too.

ARATA: Subordinates, companies, getting married… Uwah.

ARATA: I can’t get over that. I can’t even imagine it!

AOI: Well, considering how we work in an industry like this, I guess it’d be difficult to imagine. (smiles)

AOI: They’re the majority of the people and we’re not a part of it.

ARATA: The minority, huh… It was a common topic in class, too.

ARATA: We might get farther from a normal life from here on, too, huh.

AOI: Getting further from… a normal life…?

ARATA: Oh? Speaking of daily lives… While I can, I should—

(Arata starts typing on his phone)

ARATA: “I’m about to go to a filming now…”

ARATA: “We’re on stand-by right now…”

ARATA: “I’ll do my best.” And then a star mark.

(Arata uploads his post)

AOI: Are you tweeting?

ARATA: Yeah, a proper update while we’re waiting here.

AOI: You’re really diligent when it comes to tweeting, huh?

ARATA: You make it sound like I don’t do other things aside from tweeting diligently.

AOI: It’s the truth, isn’t it?

ARATA: It may be so.

AOI: (laughs) See? You won’t even deny it.

ARATA: I’m aware of it, you know?

AOI: Plus, you get excited when you’re tweeting and talk more, don’t you?

ARATA: Yeah. My passion that’s normally hidden inside overflows when conveyed in characters. (sparkles)

AOI: Passion…?

ARATA: Yeah, passion. Enthusiasm? Or in another name, energy!

AOI: Y-you’ll say that yourself…? A-as expected from an energetic person.

ARATA: Don’t praise me~ I’m gonna blush, Aoi-kun~

AOI: Y-your tension today is kinda hard to follow… (nervous chuckle)

ARATA: To cut to the chase, Aoi, make a flower bloom in my tweet. Let’s take a picture together.

AOI: “To cut to the chase” is a bit too much, you know? Well, I don’t mind either way.

(Arata stands up and approaches Aoi)

ARATA: Okay, come closer, come closer.

(Arata takes the picture)

ARATA: I’m sure that there are a lot of people who’ll get through their day with just our selfie, you know?

ARATA: Don’t you think that’s amazing?

AOI: I-I guess that’s amazing in a way but—

ARATA: Ah, wait a sec.

AOI: What is it this time?

ARATA: Since we’re here, why don’t we take a pic outside, too? With the cherry blossom [tree].

ARATA: Then, when spring comes, we can take another under the same tree.

ARATA: With the same pose, too. And then, we’ll take a pic with the flowers in full bloom.

AOI: Ah! That’s nice. It sounds interesting since it’s a filming done in winter and spring separately.

AOI: Ah, but, would it be okay for us to go outside?

ARATA: You don’t want to be seen by people~? Is your skin in bad condition today?

AOI: That’s not it! I was wondering if it would cause trouble!

ARATA: It’s okay! The staff is watching the entrance anyway.

ARATA: And only the people involved in the filming will be here for two hours.

AOI: Ah, I see. Then, I guess, it’s okay…

ARATA: It is, it is!

(they both walk outside)

[08:53]

  (Arata is taking pictures)

ELDERLY MAN: Hey, you boys. What’s going on? What is with the ruckus?

ELDERLY MAN: Can you not pass through?

AOI: (whispering to Arata) No matter how you look at it, there are bound to be civilians here, Arata.

ARATA: I guess so~ Oh…?

AOI: Um… There’s filming for a CM going on and they’re still in the middle of preparations.

AOI: I think it will take a while longer before filming wraps up…

ELDERLY MAN: What’s with that? It’s a bit troublesome, isn’t it?

ELDERLY MAN: I didn’t hear anything about this.

ARATA: It seems like the agency passed the due forms and got permission to film here, too.

ELDERLY MAN: Due forms, you say? That’s a park, isn’t it? It doesn’t concern me.

ELDERLY MAN: I can’t get home if I don’t pass through here so I’m a bit troubled.

ARATA: Your house…? Pardon my rudeness but, your house is…?

ELDERLY MAN: Hm? My house is that one with the white wall there.

ELDERLY MAN: It goes out directly to this park from the backyard and if you go through there, it’s very close to the supermarket.

AOI: (whispering to Arata) It seems like he’ll be out of breath if he goes out of his way…

AOI: (whispering to Arata) Can he really not pass through…?

ARATA: (whispering to Aoi) It reminds me of the secret base we made in a brushwood at a park back then.

ELDERLY MAN: In any case, I’ll be passing through as usual, okay?

AOI: Um…

ARATA: Ah, if that’s the case, I’ll accompany you until you reach your gate.

ARATA: I’m sure the staff won’t let you and the tools are scattered so it’s a bit dangerous.

ELDERLY MAN: I pass through here all the time. It’s not necessary for me to be taken care of.

ELDERLY MAN: You don’t have to treat me like the elderly.

ARATA: I guess so. I’m not treating you like one. Rather, I’m treating you like a guest.

ARATA: We’re the ones who left the unfamiliar tools in your way so, just in case.

ELDERLY MAN: Oh? Well… It’s just that way. Do what you want.

ARATA: Ah, yes. I’ll go help him home then.

AOI: A-ah, yeah…

[11:05]

  ARATA: Alright, we’re here. Please pass through that person standing there.

ELDERLY MAN: Okay.

PERSON B: Oh, it’s Uduki Arata.

PERSON A: Eh? Oh, it is!

PERSON C: Eh, for real!? Where?

ELDERLY MAN: Are you possibly a celebrity? I thought you were part of the staff.

ARATA: Well, I guess I’m technically a part of the staff, too.

ELDERLY MAN: No wonder I thought you were so lanky.

ARATA: Please just call me tall or something~

ELDERLY MAN: Uduki?

ARATA: It’s Arata. Uduki Arata.

ARATA: Normally, I do activities and sing and dance in a group of six people.

ARATA: We’re idols.

ELDERLY MAN: Uduki Arata… An idol? I haven’t heard that before.

ARATA: Hm… I’ll keep that in mind.

ARATA: Should I do a self-introduction while we’re at it?

ELDERLY MAN: Self-introduction?

ARATA: I’m Uduki Arata from Six Gravity, or Gravi for short.

ARATA: It was my birthday this month and I just turned 23 years old.

ARATA: My image color… Ah, it’s the color assigned to our costumes on stage.

ARATA: Well, mine’s orange. My image motif? Well, it’s sort of like our mark, too. Mine is a cherry blossom.

ARATA: It’s nice to meet you.

ELDERLY MAN: Oranges and then cherry blossoms, huh? (chuckles) How complicated.

ARATA: It’s more than enough for me that it’s easy to remember.

ARATA: Together with this handsome face, too~ (sparkles)

ELDERLY MAN: You’re quite the strange one, aren’t you?

ARATA: I get told that a lot.

(the wind starts picking up)

ELDERLY MAN: Cherry blossoms, huh.

ELDERLY MAN: I don’t really watch much TV but, it’s not just you that I don’t know.

ELDERLY MAN: To me, all celebrities are kind of like cherry blossoms.

ARATA: Oh…

ARATA: Celebrities are cherry blossoms?

ELDERLY MAN: They’re gorgeous, you can’t take your eyes off them, and they’re popular.

ELDERLY MAN: But, only momentarily.

ELDERLY MAN: If they go over what they can do now, they’ll only fall.

ELDERLY MAN: Even now, when there’s no flower in bloom, no one takes notice of it.

ELDERLY MAN: I’m pretty sure that it’s an unstable kind of living.

ARATA: I see. So that’s why it’s a cherry blossom.

ARATA: That’s deep. It was a good lesson for me.

ELDERLY MAN: You’re not mad?

ARATA: You convinced me before I had time to get mad.

ELDERLY MAN: Heh… You really are a strange one.

ARATA: I get told that a lot.

ELDERLY MAN: Well, I’m going to the supermarket.

ARATA: Yes, go on ahead. Please be careful on your way.

ELDERLY MAN: Yeah.

(the elderly man walks away)

ARATA: What an interesting person.

ARATA: So, we’re cherry blossoms, huh…

  ==END==

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please just like/reblog them instead ^^

[lilacmoon83]

Finding You Always

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 205: High Hopes

Emma sighed, as she looked out over the water and became lost in thought, absorbing everything that had happened. Despite knowing that everything her father did was for them, she was relieved to know that he had not really killed anyone. She knew him, both halves of him. She knew his lighter half would be horrified and would have struggled to live with such, even with her mother's love. And his darker half...she could see the strain was weighing on him heavily as well. Her father's darker half wasn't really evil, though he was much more willing to commit evil acts in the name of protecting those he loved.

Seth, however, was the real deal. He was a rare occurrence that had literally been born evil. He was without empathy completely and found delight in carnage on a daily basis. Her father had capitalized on that by using the chalice to give him spectacular fights and flashy executions to entertain him. But she wondered how much longer that would sustain a monster like him. If he demanded to see real blood and carnage, she wondered if even the so called evil half of her father had it in him to slaughter innocents. But she knew Arthur had no such conscience anymore and neither did Gawain. They could please the dark Lord with their savagery and if her father fell out of favor, she feared what Mephisto might try to do to her parents.

"We'll find them, love," Killian called from the wheel and she sighed, as she joined him there. She leaned her head against his arm and he kissed her hair.

"I know...we just need to find a way to interject ourselves into their lives in a plausible way. I mean...just showing up at their door isn't going to be the best strategy," she mentioned.

"Well...you have a law enforcement background," he said. She winced.

"In Storybrooke...that isn't exactly going to work out here. Plus, I mention Storybrooke, Maine and they run it through a government database and the debacle in Seattle will probably come up," she replied. He looked confused.

"It will?" he asked. He was still foggy about how all that worked, thanks to not waking up until the curse was broken and they had been in a rush to get through the portal. He remembered the National guard trying to get through Summer's shield, but had never given it much thought.

"Oh yeah...and the only reason I know this is because Doc and Happy are fascinated with all the conspiracy stuff. They listen to all those crazy podcasts and YouTube videos that people have made about that day. Apparently, the government has pretty much classified all the information about that day," she said.

"Yeah...I'm still not sure I know what that means," he replied.

"It means basically that they know more about that day than they're willing to tell the public and the official story they released is mostly crap," she explained.

"But...the public saw a lot of barking mad stuff that day," he said.

"Which is why there is so many people out there fascinated by it and the conspiracies are rampant," she replied, as she got an odd thought.

"Come to think of it...it's kind of weird that no one has recognized my parents from that day," she mentioned. He nodded.

"Yeah...they were in the tabloids a lot leading right up to that day and at the center of the whole thing. I'm sure the videos are still out there," he said.

"Yeah...but my Dad is working for the FBI now, according to Gold," she replied.

"So...you think they know?" he asked.

"They would have to," she replied.

"Then that would mean they are letting him work for them for a reason and they would have to be aware that he has no memory of Seattle," he deduced.

"Which means someone high up thinks they can use him for something," Emma said.

"Do you think they might try to use your Dad to get to Storybrooke?" he asked.

"Storybrooke...the United Realms...the God damn chalice...who knows," she exclaimed with worry.

"My Dad could be in some real danger...I don't trust those government creeps at all," she said.

"We'll find them, love," he assured.

"Yeah...there might be a couple people in the FBI we can trust though. They might know something or they could at least do some digging for us," Emma said.

"Angela and Nick?" he recalled the two agents that had been drawn into their world for a brief time.

"It's worth a shot," Emma said, as she dialed a number and hoped the agents had not changed their phone numbers in the last few years.

~*~

The girl fidgeted uncomfortably and tried to conceal her shaking hands, as she met the professor behind her dorm. This one was well on her way into withdraws and was easy to tempt when he promised her a hit.

"So...what kind of drug is this?" she asked nervously, as she kept looking around in paranoia.

"It's something new...but I guarantee you'll get the high you seek," Dr. Jenkins stated. If the girl had been in her right mind, she might have questioned the motives of a professor that was giving drugs to students, but for her, all she could think about was satiated her habit.

"A needle? I like pills," she mentioned.

"I don't have pills, but this will go into your system almost immediately. The effects are almost instantaneous," he promised and smirked knowingly when she offered her arm. He shot her up with his concoction and stepped back, praying that this was the right formula.

The thoughts in his head were so loud now that he hadn't slept a wink. He couldn't get her out of his head and all the things he wanted to do with her. He was convinced that she belonged at his side and he fantasized about her husband meeting some horrible end almost as much as he was thinking about being in bed with her. If he could just reign in his dark thoughts with this drug, he knew he'd be more stable and could finally tell her how he felt and convince her that they belonged together.

The poor girl began to convulse and scream at the top of her lungs, as she held her head in agony.

"What...what's happening to me?!" she cried out. He looked hopeful, as she seemingly started to phase, but as good as it seemed to be going, it quickly dissolved into horror, as the poor young woman began to convulse and vomit blood. She collapsed into her own pool of blood and began seizing, until her heart gave out and she expired.

The doctor angrily kicked the wall. He had been very careful and thanks to the chill in the fall air, he was wearing gloves. He concealed the dirty syringe in his pocket and quickly left the area. He was careful to make sure they were in an area just outside campus cameras. Another failure and another body. He was fairly certain that he could stay ahead of the cops, but the darkness in his mind was growing stronger and making him more erratic. He needed to find where he was going wrong with his serum, so it was back to his lab. He couldn't sleep anyway, so he would once again work through the night.

~*~

As he kissed her deeply, as per usual, she lost herself in him and only him. His fear for her and them all was tangible and that had translated to the impassioned and insatiable lovemaking that they had been engaged in now for hours into the night. Winter was beside herself in pleasure, as her husband made love to her with desperate passion. Finally, after hours of pursuing completeness and satiating their hunger for each other, they lay entwined beneath the bedclothes in their chambers, with Winter idly tracing the lines of definition on his torso

"My love…" she finally said.

"He put his hands on you…" he growled.

"But I am fine...thanks to you," she reminded him. But he shook his head.

"I should have immediately sensed you were in danger," he lamented.

"You have been preoccupied and your duties weigh heavily on you. I know this," she said.

"I didn't feel the danger to you right away...that's never happened," he admitted.

"My love...the incredible pressure you are under is crushing and you felt it the moment you stepped through the portal. You found me before he could truly hurt me," she insisted.

"Not before he struck you...I cannot live with that if it happens again. Next time...he could hurt you badly and I would rather die than let that happen," he said fiercely.

"You are being much too hard on yourself," she chided, as she kissed his lips tenderly. He sighed and pressed his forehead against hers, taking solace in her kiss and her touch.

"You are everything to me, my darling...I cannot lose you," he said.

"And you will not. I fear for you too, my love. I fear what Seth may do to you if we are discovered," she replied.

"Then we must prepare for the worst. If Emma does not return before he does, then you must promise me you will take Hope through the portal at a moment's notice," he said.

"Not without you," she replied.

"You must, my darling…" he insisted and she closed her eyes, hating everything about this.

"I promise...but I will not need to. Emma and Killian will soon return and then we will end that monster," she said, as he held her close. He could only hope she was right.

~*~

"Wow...that's some story and a bit out there. And that's coming from someone that runs one of the most trafficked conspiracy podcasts on the net," the man said, as he had coffee with the young FBI analyst at a coffee kiosk just outside the Boston FBI headquarters.

"I know what it sounds like, but I'm telling you that it's him," Trevor insisted, as he showed the man that was behind the Conspiracies Unearthed podcast on the Internet.

"That does look like him though...but he hasn't changed at all," the podcaster said.

"Doesn't that play into all the theories out there?" Trevor asked.

"Sure does...and you said he acts like he has no memory of living in Seattle?" he questioned.

"Yeah, but it's a pretty good act. I really don't think he remembers," Trevor said. But the man looked skeptical.

"He's an FBI agent...he's trained to lie his way out of anything," he said.

"Fair point...but this is a pic of his desk. Zoom in on the family photo," Trevor replied, as he showed him.

"Damn...that's her too and the kids. They actually look older too," he said, as he compared the photo to the video from Seattle seven years ago.

"It's definitely compelling...and I can use it, but more proof would be nice. Can you get anything else? Like a file or something?" the pseudo journalist asked.

"I'll try...but I can't get you his file. I'd get fired for that," Trevor replied.

"Listen kid...do you want to work for the system that hides this stuff from us forever or do you want to blow the coverup wide open on this thing?" the man asked. Trevor was silent for a moment.

"I'll see what I can get," he said, making no promises, before hurrying into work.

~*~

David stepped off the elevator that morning, with coffee in hand, ready for another day of painstakingly going through files of their potential suspect pool. It was frustrating, because he knew that if their unknown subject was devolving that it would not be long until they had another body.

"Hey...it's super agent," one of his co-workers called out. He sighed, but took the razzing in stride. He knew it was in good humor, but he was well aware that he didn't exactly fit in with some of the other agents his age in this division. A lot of them hung out after work together, despite some of them having families. But he always declined. Not because he didn't like them, but he just never had the desire to spend even more time away from his own family.

"Are you ever not going to call me that?" David asked.

"Maybe when you don't solve a case. Seriously...your case record is either pure luck or you've got powers or something," agent Ethan Chavez replied. He sighed.

"Probably luck then, because I definitely don't have powers," David said.

"Yeah...wanna test that luck? We're playing poker after work," agent Brian Dorsey asked.

"Ah...no thanks. I already spend eight to ten hours away from my wife as it is. I'd rather not spend even more time away from her," he replied. Dorsey shook his head.

"You're an odd one, Nolan. Most guys would jump at the chance for a night away from the ball and chain," he commented. David had to bite his tongue to keep from responding too harshly. Dorsey had quite the reputation around the office. He was married, but it was a poorly kept secret that he could often be found at the nearby cop bars and had little respect for any vows he had once taken to his spouse. He liked most of the other guys, but there was always that one and in this group, it was definitely Dorsey.

"I really hope you're not referring to my wife as a ball and chain," David warned, though he kept any malice from his voice. As expected, Dorsey wisely backtracked.

"Uh, course not...nothing but respect for the ladies," he said.

"You're such a douche canoe, Dorsey. You wouldn't know how to respect a woman even if your life depended upon doing so," Agent Danielle Harding commented derisively. David smirked at that, as he entered the conference room with his coffee.

"Agent Harding will be joining us today for an extra pair of eyes," Pat said, as she and Trevor entered the room. David noticed the analyst giving him more odd glances, but tried to ignore the quirky tech.

"I think I'm up to speed...but this seems like a lot of violence for a female perpetrator," Danielle mentioned.

"We thought so too, but we didn't want to narrow our field too much since these aren't your ordinary serial killings," David said. She nodded in understanding.

"Okay...let's get to it," she said, as her phone rang and she answered it.

"Donovan," she said and then sighed.

"Where?" she asked and David knew that meant they had another victim.

"We'll be right there," she said, as she hung up.

"Scratch that...we have another body. Boston College again this time," she replied.

"Harding...stay behind and narrow our list down to anyone that has access to the Boston College campus. Our suspect may have just narrowed our pool without knowing it," Pat said. Danielle nodded, as David followed his boss out.

"Summer's school again…" he said worriedly.

"He's escalating, which hopefully means he'll get sloppy and we'll catch a break," Pat replied, as they boarded the elevator.

"We'll get him," she assured.

~*~

"I really hope so, my angel, but I'm not sure this is possible," Fandral said, as they walked hand in hand to the library that morning.

"But Emma and Killian were able to get through whatever barrier the curse has put up," Rose protested.

"With a powerful spell and an added magical fog to conceal their escape. I'm not sure getting a message to another sector of realms will be plausible," he said.

"Except...I think it might," she replied, as they reached the library. But they were unpleasantly surprised to see that they had unwelcome company.

"Why are you here, demon?" Fandral hissed, as he drew his sword and guarded his wife.

"You weren't kidding...they're nearly identical to the Charmings," Arthur spat distastefully.

"We have come to return a book...a curious book we found in the Dark One's shop," Mephisto leered, as he dropped the large tome at their feet.

"You mean after you burned his shop to the ground?" Rose accused.

"Mind your tongue, pretty one or it might get snapped off," Gawain threatened, but that was a mistake, as her Asgardian husband moved with lightning quickness and lifted the demon off his feet by his neck.

"Threaten my beloved again and you will suffer the full wrath of my Asgardian might," Fandral warned, but the demon only chuckled evilly, as the warrior tossed him to the floor.

"Yes...we found it in the shop and curiously nothing else of real value. It is quite strange that all the Dark One's items of any value or magical importance have mysteriously disappeared, don't you think?" Mephisto questioned.

"We know nothing of the inventory the Dark One chooses to keep," Fandral refuted.

"No...but this book is definitely not his and came from here. A book on...ancient beings and star gems," he said in accusation. A shiver of fear slithered through them both and Fandral felt his dark presence, as he appeared behind them.

"It was me...I am responsible for that book leaving this library. Rose had nothing to do with it," Fandral confessed, as she clutched his arm.

"I expressly banned books like these and ordered they be stored away since, as even I was not able to burn this insufferable library to the ground," Seth growled.

"And the slip was mine, My Lord…" Fandral interjected, as the monster glowered at Rose.

"Silence…" he hissed, as he brought the Asgardian warrior to his knees with his mind meld.

"Fandral…" Rose cried, as she knelt beside him, just as Charming and Winter arrived.

"My Lord...allow me to deliver their executions as punishment," Charming said, as he shared a nervous look with his counterpart.

"No…" Seth refuted and fear rippled through them all. Mephisto smirked deviously.

"My Lord?" Charming asked.

"I have decided on a different form of punishment. Your execution would be far too swift for a grievance like this," Seth said, as he looked around in disgust.

"It pains me that not even I have the power to burn this library out of existence, but since it was created by the powers of many universes combined, it is beyond even my power. I do not like that," Seth continued.

"But I can install a new proprietor for the library. One that will do as I asked and store banned texts away from the masses," he growled, as he looked at the rulers of Andresia and Rose's uncle came into the room.

"I assure you...you shall not regret giving my Kingdom back to me, my Lord," John said, as he and Sir Hiss bowed deeply to him.

"You…" Fandral growled, but Seth's power kept him on his knees and John enjoyed the warrior's pain greatly.

"You and the lovely Rose Red have been a thorn in my side far too long. Finally...you both are about to get what you deserve," he hissed evilly.

"Yes...and the time has come to deliver that punishment," Seth declared. Rose cried out and buried her face in her husband's shoulder.

"My Lord…" Charming started to say.

"You will be silent!" Seth bellowed and he dropped to his knees, holding his head in pain. Winter fell beside him and her eyes met Rose's, astonished by how utterly broken she looked. She knew what was coming and her eyes were pleading with Winter's.

"The children…" Charming whispered. They would have to find a way to slip them out, but once Seth left, it would be easy to do so under John's nose.

"I hereby banish you both from the United Realms and cast you out into the All World River as I once was," Seth announced.

"And we know that you will likely survive such, Fandral of Asgard, but your wife will not," he hissed.

"And therein, you'll be delivered the ultimate punishment as you survive, while she dies in your arms and you are forced to hold her lifeless corpse and pray for a death you'll probably only receive after years of wandering the nothingness of the volatile river," he said with an evil gleam.

"Please...spare Rose. Kill me...but do not punish the mother of my children," Fandral begged.

"It is done…" Seth declared, as a portal was ripped open before them and the two were sucked away. Charming and Winter could only stare in horror, as their friends were gone and he turned to them.

"You will find me the Dark One dagger, my right hand or I will allow Mephisto's demons to rip your darling Winter apart however they please," he threatened, as Gawain ripped her away from him.

"Nooo!" Charming cried, but then he was holding his head in agony.

"Tell me where it is…" Seth demanded.

"I do not know what the imp did with it," he lied and Seth was not satisfied with that answer, before nodding to the demonic Gawain.

"Oh...this will be fun, pretty one," he hissed, as he grabbed her around the waist. Charming growled and tried to get to his feet, but the pain in his head wouldn't allow it. But a blast of orange magic hit him and sent the dark Lord smashing into a bookcase nearby.

"Impossible...you're dead," Mephisto hissed, as Aphrodite and James stood there, having come to their rescue. They had Fandral and Rose's crying children with them as well.

"Nothing is what it seems, demon...and your time will soon be up," the Goddess said, as Seth, now fully enraged, pulled himself from the rubble.

"You...you will pay for that, Goddess," he promised.

"Not today," Elsa said, as she froze all of them in place, as she and Leo arrived.

"That won't hold them long," she said, as Leo helped his father up.

"I knew it...I knew you were manipulating the great Seth and I will make sure you pay for your deception, Prince Charming," Mephisto growled. James threw a bean down and they all escaped through a portal. The entirety of the United Realms shook, as Seth roared in anger.

~*~

Summer walked onto campus that morning with a friend. Usually her dad dropped her off, but he had been called in on a case really early so she called a friend since the campus was in the opposite direction of Bobby and her mom's school.

"Thanks for the ride," she said.

"No worries...and looks like we have time to spare to grab coffee. You up for it?" her friend asked, as they saw the crime scene tape just ahead of them.

"Whoa...wonder what's going on there," her friend commented. Summer sighed.

"The reason my dad couldn't give me a ride. I'll catch up to you in a bit," she said, as she approached the scene.

"No trespassing from the public," the uniformed officer at the scene said.

"Relax Officer...she's the daughter of one of my agents," Patricia admonished, as she motioned the girl forward.

"Someone else died?" she asked.

"I'm afraid so, sweetheart...do you know this girl?" Patricia asked, as she showed her a picture from a file. They already had the gruesome sight covered with a tarp or she would have never let Summer near the scene.

"She kind of looks familiar so I've probably seen her around campus. But I'm sorry, I didn't know her personally," Summer said, as David came over and hugged his little girl.

"That's okay...I didn't think you would. She didn't exactly strike me as someone who would hang out with the same people you do," Patricia said.

"Daddy...are the students in danger?" Summer asked. David looked at his boss and she cocked her head to the side.

"To be honest, I'm not sure, peanut. But we'll be here most of the day, so for now, just go to your classes and then I'll be here to take you home. But it would make me feel better if you didn't go anywhere alone on campus," he said. She smiled.

"I have friends in most of my classes. I'll walk with them," she promised.

"That's my girl...I'll see you later," he said.

"Love you daddy," she replied.

"Love you too, peanut," he said, as he watched her go.

"We have to find who is doing this. Right now it's drug addicts, but what happens if this guy decides to try a larger victim pool?" David fretted.

"The profile would suggest that his desperation will increase, especially since he's back to not caring if it's students. Having more subjects would be appealing. So far though, it would seem that this serum has to be injected into the blood and there is one thing that struck me about our latest victim," Patricia said, as she opened the file.

"You found a friend of hers?" David asked. She nodded.

"I just got off the phone with her just before Summer came over. She didn't want to meet in person, but was surprised when I told her that her friend died from a needle drug. She said her friend was a pill popper. She never used needles...ever. She hated them," Patricia replied.

"Wow...so our perp had to be pretty convincing and she had to be pretty desperate to do a needle," David surmised.

"That's what I'm thinking, which plays more into our theory that this person is someone highly educated and in a position that naturally gives them trust and respect," she added. He sighed.

"Like a Professor," he said, as he became deeply worried.

"We'll get him. Now that he's back to students again...there is no more keeping this quiet. I'm going to deliver the profile. Then it's only a matter of time before our suspect goes for broke," she said, as he saw the reporters gathering outside the crime scene tape.

"Okay...what about her parents? Someone needs to talk to them," he said and she looked at him sadly.

"I'm afraid there's no father in her file and her mother is worse off than she is," she said, as she showed him the rap sheet on the mother.

"She's pretty strung out and probably doesn't even remember she has a daughter," Patricia said, as she went to make a statement with the press. He sighed, as the medical examiner van arrived and he supervised the scene, as they prepared to take the body away.

~*~

When they arrived through the portal, Eva rushed to her parents and they hugged her.

"Eva...you're okay," Winter said. She nodded.

"Paul and Hope are here too," she assured.

"And Henry?" Charming asked.

"We're fine too...gramps," Henry said, as he Ella, and Lucy were safe as well.

"Uncle James has been busy rounding everyone up," Leo said, as he hugged them too.

"Thank Rumple...he saw that Seth was on the warpath and headed for Andresia," James said.

"Unfortunately, we couldn't save Rose and Fandral," Aphrodite said sadly.

"Oh Charming…" Winter cried, as he took her in his arms.

"Then...our mama and papa are really gone?" Ben asked brokenly. None of them could find a voice to tell them.

"There may be hope, young ones," Hermes said, as she appeared and they ran to her, as she was like an Aunt to them.

"I was able to send a message in a bottle into the All World River earlier. I used an enchantment that gave it coordinates for New Asgard. There is a chance that Lady Sif will find it and send Thor to save them. The bi-frost will be their only chance now," Hermes informed them.

"Then...there is a chance they are still alive?" Carina asked.

"I cannot be certain, sweetheart, but we must not lose hope," she told her.

"Like my charges...yours are very strong as well. We must hope Thor will come to their aid and help them return to us," Hermes said.

"Does he know? About this place?" Rumple asked, as he and Belle arrived.

"Not specifically, but now he knows of our betrayal. We need to evacuate as many innocents here as we can," Charming said, as he looked to Anton.

"What is our bean supply like?" he asked.

"Fortunately, we have hundreds on hand. As long as he does not find us here," Anton answered.

"He can't access Bald Mountain without the dagger," Rumple said.

"Which he's soon going to realize isn't here in the United Realms," Regina feared.

"Which means he'll figure out we sent it with Snow and David," Robin deduced.

"You think he'll send one of his minions to Boston?" Belle asked.

"Most likely, which means we need to warn Emma. But firstly, we have to gather as many innocents as possible," Winter replied.

"As soon as he knows what we're doing...it will be difficult to evade him and his minions. And I don't think I have to tell you if he gets through one of our portals to this place...it's over," Rumple warned.

"Then we have to be very smart and quick," Charming said.

"We could create some weather issues...the three of us," Eva said, as she motioned to her twin and Elsa.

"She's right. A nice little snowstorm over Olympus, a tornado smashing through Nephilim, and a lightning event in Storybrooke could provide some cover," Leo suggested.

"I have more fog spells like I used on the Harbor to conceal Emma and Killian's escape. If I combine them, we could have a large enough blanket of fog to conceal us for a short time," Rumple said. Charming nodded.

"Mom...the reserve. He might attack it in retaliation," Leo feared.

"Your father and I will use the chalice to seal it off. Only someone of our bloodline will be able to get in," she promised.

"Everyone has their mission. Let's go," Charming said, as they all became very busy.

~*~

Seth's eyes bled yellow with rage, as he stomped around his Throne room atop Mount Olympus.

"They will pay...they will all pay…" he growled, as the structure of his palace trembled in his wake.

"I knew they had betrayed you, my Lord...I just couldn't prove it until now," Mephisto said, but he withered under the God's glower.

"Silence…" he snapped, as he continued to seethe.

"I want the dagger!" he roared.

"My Lord...if I may, the Dark One is crafty and it is possible that the dagger is not within this realm," Arthur said.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked.

"The brats...it would be just like that imp to send it with a child. He'd never trust another family with it," Gawain agreed.

"Then you two will go to the Land Without Magic. You will find the dagger for me and you will kill Snow White, Prince David, and their snotty brats! Without magic...they shall be no match for your demonic powers," Seth shouted. Arthur smirked.

"It would be our incredible honor to grind their bones to powder, my Lord," the former King said.

"And you're sure they have no magic?" Gawain questioned. Seth smirked.

"The foolish Winter and Charming were greedy and kept the chalice between them," he said.

"Excellent...we shall leave at once, my Lord...that is if you can provide us a way," Arthur said. Seth raised his hand and tore a hole in into the Maine woods that surrounded the concealment of the United Realms.

"It will be up to the two of you to find your way to them in a place called Boston. Make the mortals out there help you if you must," he said. The two nodded and walked through the portal, before it closed.

"And you...do not return to my sight until you have Charming's head in your hand! Kill them all!" Seth demanded. Mephisto smirked and bowed to him.

"It will be my pleasure to deliver his corpse to you and get justice for you, My Lord," he said, as he disappeared in a poof of smoke. Seth continued to seethe.

"This is my Kingdom! And they will all pay!" he growled, as he continued to stomp around his Throne room in a fit.

~*~

Fandral had never been so terrified in his very long life as he was in this moment. He held Rose tightly in his arms, as the All World River whipped them around violently.

"My angel...you must stay with me," he pleaded, as he breathed into her mouth again. He was the only thing keeping her alive and his air was not enough. She was fading fast and tears slipped down his face, as he realized that he was going to lose her. If he did, then he would beg the river for death.

"It's...it's all right, my love," she said, as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"You...can let me go. I'll always be with you," she rasped.

"You must save your breath...you must, my angel," he pleaded, as she weakly raised a hand to his handsome face.

"You must go on...for our children," she pleaded to him.

"I...I cannot lose you. I cannot survive that," he sobbed.

"You must...kiss me one last time, my love…" she requested and he could not deny her, as he crushed his lips against hers in the most passionate kiss ever.

"Rose...Rose please!" he cried almost uncontrollably, as she slowly slipped away in his arms. He had fought some of the worst scurges to ever exist and had faced battles that should have ended him without fear. None of that had ever fazed him, but losing her brought this warrior to the brink of insanity and he cried over her like he never had before.

"Please...all mighty Odin please!" he pleaded.

"I know you can hear me, Odin! I beg you to take me if you are going to take her!" he sobbed, as he buried his face in her chest and cried harder when he realized it was no longer rising and falling.

As if to answer him, a light suddenly was shining upon him. But it was not the long dead Odin that had come to put him out of his misery. He looked up through his tears and found his friend there, still with saddened eyes and a bit haggard, but he was there.

"She will not die today, my friend and neither will you. I will lose no more friends," Thor declared, as the bi-frost snapped them up and deposited them back in New Asgard.

Fandral gently lay Rose on the ground and a man that he recognized as Eric Selvig knelt down beside them.

"Please...I have medical training," he said. He nodded and he started pumping Rose's chest.

"I want you to breathe for her now," Eric instructed and he did so. After a few breaths, Rose took a strangled one of her own and her green eyes, those green eyes he feared he would never see again, opened.

"Rose…" he uttered brokenly and then looked up at them.

"I can never repay this debt I owe to you all," he said, as he cradled his beloved in his arms and she took starved breaths of air.

"Happy to help," Eric assured.

"He's right...we received the message from Hermes and not too soon at all it would seem," Sif said.

"Yes...what has happened in your realm to cause this?" Thor questioned.

"It is quite a story, but we will tell you everything. Perhaps there is somewhere more comfortable though?" Fandral asked. They nodded and rose to their feet. Fandral did as well and scooped Rose into his arms.

"Come...we'll get you substance and you can tell us of the calamity that caused all this," Thor said, as they moved toward his home.

~*~

Margaret smiled, as she watched all the students proudly display their projects and parents milled through the exhibits. So far, the science fair was off to a rousing start.

"Mrs. Nolan...look what I won!" one of her freshman students called, as they hurried up to the table she was at.

"Oh...that's wonderful Heather. I'm so happy for you," she said, congratulating the girl on her blue ribbon. She was a bit of an introverted girl and Margaret had hoped to make a difference with her by pushing her to apply herself and it had definitely paid off. The girl had more confidence in herself and her grades were up. It was the very reason Margaret had always wanted to go into teaching. She had always longed to make a difference in young lives and it truly felt rewarding to be a part of something like this.

"Well...it's not hard to see why that young student is a fan of yours. The science fair is a huge success and leaps and bounds over any previous event," Dr. Jenkins praised. Margaret looked shy under the praise though.

"There are a lot of moving parts here. I am just a small part of a lot of people working together," Margaret said.

"If you say so...but I think you are far too modest, Margaret," he said and she noticed the gleam in his eyes, not for the first time. She wasn't oblivious, but had hoped there was nothing behind the doctor's praise. She was a happily married woman, after all, but he seemed reluctant to remember such.

"Wow Mom...this is great," Bobby said, as he arrived from practice.

"Thanks sweetie," she replied, as she hugged him.

"I think things are winding down though and the projects have been judged, so I'm going to go grab my things from my classroom and then we'll head home. Your dad and Summer should be home by then too," she said.

"Okay...I'm going to go say hi to some friends while I wait," he said. Dr. Jenkins watched her leave the gym to return to her classroom and the voices in his head were too much. He tried to ignore his urges, but he couldn't and was soon following her.

~*~

Killian brought the Jolly Roger into port that afternoon. They had already attracted a lot of attention and the Coastguard clearly remembered their very distinctive ship escaping their custody years ago.

Fortunately, calling Angela and Nick helped and they agreed to help them when she explained the situation and met them at the docks. They used their badges and bypassed the Coastguard authority, which didn't make them happy, and led Emma and Killian to a nearby coffee kiosk.

"Thanks for flying in from New York on such short notice," Emma said, as she sipped at her coffee.

"Thank my recent promotion, though I'm a little miffed that I had no idea your father was working for the FBI," Angela replied.

"Yeah...that's what surprises me. I mean...someone higher up has to know he's the same person from Seattle," Emma replied.

"Yeah...and her name might be Major Patricia Donovan, though I agree that there has to be someone else even above her aware of all of this. Just no idea who," Nick said, as he put the file in front of them.

"That's her," Killian said, recognizing the woman.

"Yeah...this is the woman that told us she was going to be a handler for my parents before the curse took them. She also said she killed Cecily Clayton and took over her father's operation," Emma said.

"Yes...then our memories were taken and we've been under the curse for two years until yesterday," Killian added. Angela sighed.

"Your lives are insane," she commented. Emma snorted.

"Believe me...I know. So this Major Donovan...what do you know about her?" Emma asked.

"Not a lot...she's former military and seven years ago, after the whole Seattle debacle, she forced us to release all the information about that day over to her, including the Nolan files that the FBI has on your family," Nick replied.

"Yeah and they classified it all. You have to be seriously high up to get the clearance to look at their files or anything about Seattle. The FBI has done its best to bury information about that day and the official story explains it away as a severe electrical weather event," she explained. Emma looked at her skeptically.

"And people buy that load of crap?" she asked. Nick snorted.

"I think it's easier for most. But yeah...there is a lot of conspiracy stuff out there about that day and your family too," he replied.

"Yeah...we're actually aware of some of that. My sister actually keeps up on it just to keep us informed of what they're saying and stuff. And Happy and Doc get their kicks from it," Emma commented.

"Then you know that some of those crazy conspiracy guys are pretty damn close on some of it," he said. She sighed.

"Yeah...way too damn close," she replied.

"So...my dad is working for this Major Donovan on a task force?" Emma asked.

"Apparently so...in fact, Major Donovan just made a statement about some serial type deaths at major Universities in the Boston area," she answered.

"Serial type deaths?" Killian asked.

"Your Dad is investigating drug related deaths. From what information I could glean, there's a new drug that has the FBI lab baffled. It's not like anything we know. It causes wild hallucinations and causes the victims to lose their minds in seconds. Some of the victims were even screaming about hearing voices telling them to do bad things before they died," she explained.

"Yeah...total personality change," Nick commented.

"Jekyll and Hyde," Killian muttered, as he looked at her. She sighed.

"Yeah...we know who is doing this and he probably doesn't have his memories yet, but that doesn't mean my mom isn't in serious danger," Emma said.

"That's great...but if we just walk into the Boston office with this information, Major Donovan is never going to let us in on the investigation," Angela replied.

"Then I need to find my Mom...do you know where she's working?" Emma asked.

"We ran her name. She's teaching at a high school across town. I think your brother goes there too," Nick replied.

"That's where Jekyll is then. We need to get there and if I know my dad, it won't be long until he figures him out," Emma said, as they stood up.

"You think? I mean...I heard they still have dozens of suspects," Nick replied.

"Trust me...the minute my Dad sees Jekyll or whatever name he is going by here is on that suspect list, which I assure you that he is...he'll know it's him. He'll just know," Emma assured.

"For now, let's get to that school. Snow and even Bobby could be in serious danger," Killian said.

"We'll drive you," Angela offered, as they hurried to her car...

[templeofgeek]

This week’s featured cosplayer is someone that we wanted to feature for a long time! Her name is Waifutella and she builds some of the most impressive cosplay but if you as her, she will say she is just the world’s okayest cosplayer. Temple of Geek has reached out to Waifutella to chat about her cosplay to which she graciously accepted. Continue on to learn about her cosplay, her fandoms, and her love for Nutella.

(Danniel Slade) Can you start off by telling me a little bit about yourself?

(Waifu Tella) I’m afraid there’s not really much to say! I’m a lot more boring than people give me credit for. I’m a full time student, cosplayer, and huge hecking nerd.

Photo by Emmy Mrozowska

(DS) Okay, I need to ask. What does your cosplay name, Waifutella, mean and how did you come up with it?

(WT) Waifutella is a combination of two words- the first being “waifu” (a term that anime fans know well). A waifu is a character who is so perfect you would snatch her up in a hot second and marry her if you could. The second word is nutella- anyone who follows me knows how much I adore it. It’s a bit of an addiction actually- I eat it straight from the jar, on the daily.

  (DS) Why do you use the subtitle “world’s okayest cosplayer?”

(WT) *burts out singing Ingrid Michaelson’s “I just want to be okay”

I don’t do well with compliments. I’m a vending machine, compliments are a wrinkly dollar bill- it’s just really frustrating and uncomfortable for everyone involved. When I wore my first real cosplay (Bucky Barnes) to a convention and later posted pics on Instagram, people were complimenting it left and right, and I would insist that my work was at best okay. One of my friends joked that I was the “world’s okayest cosplayer” and… it just stuck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Photo by Ernie Jay

(DS) What fandoms are you into?

(WT) Marvel (cinematic and comics) is definitely my go-to, particularly Captain America, Captain Marvel, and both Hawkeyes. I also adore Blizzard Games, (Overwatch/StarCraft II/Diablo III) No Game No Life, Welcome to Night Vale, the Tolkeinverse, HP (hufflepride!), The Witcher, Doctor Who, Legend of Zelda and Kingdom Hearts.

  (DS) When did you get into cosplay?

(WT) My friend and I went to our first con together-SDCC- and all of our information about conventions was gathered through Tumblr posts. They made it seem like everyone there cosplayed, and I didn’t want to be the only person left out, so I brought along my Halloween costume. When we got there, it seemed like hardly anybody else was dressed up, but I had a lot of fun! So I kept doing it, and I’ve found it to be a really great and diverse creative outlet as well as a great way to make new friends. Excluding Halloween costumes, it’s been a little over two years now!

  (DS) How do you choose what you are going to create for cosplay?

(WT) I’ve actually recently changed my entire approach to this. I used to make cosplays for characters that I liked well enough and weren’t a huge financial burden to make (textbooks aren’t as fun as cosplay, but they’re definitely my priority.). Nowadays, I need to be a hardcore fan of the character and the design. I’m tying to put a lot more craftsmanship and technique into my work; so I try to choose characters that I love enough to spend repeated all nighters working on. It means I haven’t had a steady stream of new content, but I’m a lot more excited to show everyone what I’ve accomplished!

  (DS) In total, how many costumes have you created over the years?

(WT) Oh heck. Definitely more than seven. Ummm… I’ve done quite a few, and about half of those were so awful that they’ve never been shown to the internet (and they never will)

Photo by Michael Benedict

(DS) Do you have a favorite costume that you want to wear over and over?

(WT) I would love nothing more than to wear the winter soldier over and over again, but last time I was in it, I broke the elbow! So, sadly, it will have to wait until I can make a new arm.

  (DS) What was your easiest build?

(WT) My easiest build was definately the punisher. I grabbed my gun, shoes and shorts from the winter soldier, roughed up and old pleather jacket, added paneling to the sleeves for aesthetic, and painted his logo on a T-shirt. That, plus wig styling, took the better part of an afternoon.

Photo by Michael Benedict

(DS) Now on the flip side, what was your hardest build?

(WT) My most difficult build- I would have to say it’s a tie between two characters. I’ve been working on Captain America and on Twilight Princess for the better part of a year, but every time I finish, I put it on and decide it’s not good enough to represent them properly. So I’ve remade them each at least six times. I think I’ve got them pretty much set this time around, though, so hopefully I can show the final versions off soon.

  (DS) What is your favorite convention to cosplay at?

(WT) I think it’s going to be Blizzcon! Last year I went for the first time, and I didn’t really cosplay for it but it was such an amazing convention, it felt like home. I’ve got big plans for Blizzcon 2018, I’ve been working on the cosplays for months now- they’re definately my hugest builds yet.

  (DS) Do you have a funny or embarrassing story that you are willing to share that happened while in cosplay?

(WT) So, my second time wearing my Winter Soldier cosplay at SDCC, it got a lot of attention. I was being stopped for photos left and right. Since people may not actually know you, they have a tendency to shout out your character’s name to get your attention (as its a lot more effective than shouting out “hey you” or “cosplayer!!” in a crowded con) I kind of got into it that year, whenever someone would shout out “Bucky” I would turn around and reply as best as I could in character, “Who the h*ll is Bucky?” People loved it. In the evening my friends and I went out for dinner- still in cosplay, and I was still getting pressed for photos left and right. I was waiting at the bar to get a drink and when I heard someone say “Bucky” I grabbed my airsoft rifle, turned around, gave the guy my best winter soldier deadpan and delivered my line, hand resting on the trigger. His face drained and he stammered out “my girlfriend..” turns out he was on a business trip and he and his friend were just grabbing dinner after a day at the office and he was telling his coworker about his girlfriend Becky. He had no idea what Comiccon was and had never even heard of my character. I felt awful! I ended up buying him and his friend a drink as my way of apologizing and reassuring him I wasn’t going to pelt them with airsoft bullets.

Photo by Hino Ben

(DS) Are you affiliated with any cosplay groups?

(WT) I’m not with any official groups, but I’m part of the @Cosplay_And_Babes Instagram family! I’m also a page model for @Hotandgeeky (also on the Instagram), and I’m definitely an advocate for @butternut_gouache’s #ForceAgainstCyberBullying campaign.

  (DS) Looking back at your early cosplay years, is there anything you would tell yourself that you know now that you didn’t know then?

(WT) I’d tell myself not to wear a cosplay that I’m not 100% passionate about. There was a really brief period where I’d make a new costume for the sake of new social media content, and eventually I started getting pressured into wearing specific cosplays because “it would get you more Instagram followers” or “your followers would like that more.” The moment I let that last one start to effect me I had to take a break from cosplay and think about a few things. And honestly? It’s ridiculous that it was even pressured on me to do so. The people who advised that were 100% trying to help me out in their own way and I don’t harbor any resentment towards them for it, but catering to strangers on the internet isn’t me. I’m not getting paid to do this, I don’t have a Patreon, and I’m not here to try to get famous. I’m here to dress up like fictional characters and have fun with my friends, and I shouldn’t let anything influence that.

  (DS) Do you have a cosplay that you consider empowering to wear?

(WT) Definately steve.

  (DS) What is on your cosplay bucket list?

(WT) I’d love to cosplay every version of Captain America, Bucky Barnes and Peggy Carter one day.

  (DS) Outside of cosplay, what do you do for fun?

(WT) I never have fun I’m too focused on my GPA! But okay, I also do archery, play video games and collect vinyl records.

  (DS) Are there any other cosplayers that inspire you?

(WT) My best friend Mikky (@mikkydyer on the Insta, Internet do your thing) is a huge inspiration for me. I actually adapted my pants for Captain America and my new version of HydraCap and my upcoming Captain America cosplay from her work. Mikky is absolutely amazing, the craftsmanship and attention to detail she puts into each cosplay astounds me. As someone who never learned how to properly sew (I usually just put fabric in front of a machine and pray it doesn’t fall apart as I’m wearing it… yes that has happened before.) it’s really amazing to see people who put in proper technique and methods into their craft. Besides, she’s not just an inspiration to my cosplay, she’s an inspiration to my daily life, she’s without a doubt one of the best people I have ever had the privilege to meet, and the honor to call my friend.

Photo by Michael Benedict

(DS) What is your next convention that fans will see you at?

(WT) I really only go to one or two conventions a year- between school and finances, it gets rather difficult to do more than that- I’ll be at Blizzcon this November, and after that the only thing that I guarantee is SDCC 2019.

  (DS) What would you say to someone who might want to build their first costume but don’t know how to get started?

(WT) Research the heck out of it! You can never find too much information on how to do something. Look at tutorials for characters with similar designs, different tutorials for the same pieces, research the materials you use, try to see how a bunch of other people have done it and use their methods to find what works best for you! And be sure to hit up your local thrift store (I’m partial to goodwill) and see if they have any pieces you can buy for your costume. There’s more than one way to make a cosplay. I started writing a series on my Tumblr page about cosplay research and building.

  (DS) How can our readers find out more about you?

(WT) On Instagram @waifutella, On Twitter @waifutella, On Tumblr at waifutella.tumblr.com and on Kofi (bonus content) ko-fi.com/waifutella!

  GALLERY

Photo by Square Noodles Film & Photography | IG @square_noodles

Photo by Ernie Jay | IG @yo_ernie

Photo by Ernie Jay | IG @yo_ernie

Photo by Michael Benedict | IG @michaelbenedictla

Photo by Bill$ Costello | IG @billscostello

Photo by Square Noodles Film & Photography | IG @square_noodles

Photo by Ernie Jay | IG @yo_ernie

Photo by Ernie Jay | IG @yo_ernie

Photo by Michael Benedict | IG @michaelbenedictla

Temple of Geek's Featured #Cosplay - @Waifutella #Marvel #CaptainAmerica #WinterSoldier This week's featured cosplayer is someone that we wanted to feature for a long time! Her name is Waifutella and she builds some of the most impressive cosplay but if you as her, she will say she is just the world’s okayest cosplayer.

[susanbailey]

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug

Building the perfect physique can be extremely difficult. Everyone wants that perfectly chiseled look, but getting that final polished look can feel impossible even with the help of anabolic steroids. I’ve been a personal fitness trainer for over 10 years, and one of my favorite SARMs for fat loss is a drug called cardarine. It stacks well with other SARMs and compounds, has very little side effects, and is extremely versatile. In fact, I include it in every single cycle I run due to it’s high amount of cardiovascular benefits while on cycle. Cardarine is also great for it’s hardening effect and increased vascular efficiency.

What is Cardarine?

Cardarine is truly a unique drug that has numerous uses but is primarily utilized for weight loss. This particular drug, that’s also known by the name GW-501516, is identified as being a unique medication that binds to the PPAR receptor present in your body. It is well-known that drugs that target the PPAR receptor directly impact the metabolic rate of your body. When you take cardarine, it binds to the PPAR receptor and actually forces your body’s metabolic rate to increase. This alone increases how much fat you burn on a daily basis, and also improves cardiovascular endurance.

Cardarine was first synthesized by Ligand Pharmaceuticals and GlaxsoSmithKline in the early 1990s. They theorized that this drug could help prevent obesity and even cure diabetes. While results seemed promising, their human trials ended and they decided not to pursue this SARM further. It was found that in high doses, cardarine caused cancer in rats.

Does Cardarine Cause Cancer?

When Ligand and GSK ran their clinical trials on mice, they were going in blind. They had no idea what doses were going to be effective, so they injected mice with 2000mg per day for a total of 2 years. First of all, that’s an insanely high dose. Most people run an average dose of 20mg per day, and they only run cycles for 8 weeks. Unfortunately the damage had already been done when the news had broke, and they ceased trials of gw-501516. It wasn’t until 10 years later that bodybuilders and athletes started using this compound to get a competitive edge. As of 2018, there have not been any reports of cancer in users. Not a single one.

Benefits of Cardarine

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the benefits of Cardarine. There were a lot of positive findings in the initial studies that can be beneficial to understand. This particular compound is extremely versatile and has many uses. Most people find that gw-501516  is a great tool for recomp and cutting cycles, but the truth is that you can use cardarine on a bulk too.

Cardarine helps lower body fat %

Another advantage of GW-501516 comes from it’s ability to raise the natural metabolic rate. By doing this, your body will burn more fat automatically. Many bodybuilders and pro athletes use cardarine to get that final “polished” look before a show. It is an extremely effective SARM for this purpose. Some people say it is as good as Anavar for fat loss. I personally use cardarine in all of my cutting cycles, due to the fact that it helps me shed off those last few stubborn pounds. I typically use it after I’m done with my winter bulk and as I lead up into my summer cut.

Increased cardio endurance

This is probably my favorite aspect of cardarine. Everyone hates cardio, including myself. Luckily for people like me, cardarine has the ability to actually increase your cardivascular endurance. What this means is that cardio (running, cycling, swimming) gets easier when you’re on this SARM. I gave it a test and after taking cardarine for 12 weeks, I was able to run a 10 mile race with very little difficulty. Normally I run around 3 miles before I start getting tired, but with GW-501516 I felt like I could go forever.

Lowered Risk of Diabetes

Remember those studies GSK did on rats taking cardarine? One of the findings resulted after giving them unhealthy diets along with a dose of cardarine. What they found was shocking. In the control group (rats not taking any SARM), they found that the rate of diabetes skyrocketed. However, in the group that was given cardarine, the risk for diabetes actually went down. This happened regardless of the bad diet. Cardarine has shown it’s ability to keep users from gaining body fat even when eating a lousy diet.

Cardarine for Recomping

A “recomp” is when you have the goal of losing fat while gaining muscle mass. This sarm (and maybe YK-11 too) is your best option for such a goal. My recommendation would be to stack cardarine and ostarine or yk-11 together to get a synergistic effect. You’ll have no problem losing body fat while gaining  muscle mass if you throw in a high protein diet, lift consistently, and run a few times a week.

What is the best Cardarine dosage?

If you’re thinking about running GW-50151  in your next cycle, you want to make sure you do it correctly. The normal dose for cardarine is 20mg per day. Most suppliers will supply cardaine in a dose that is similar to this, so it should be easy to take once you get your hands on it. You can take it with or without food. It does not matter either way. Also, I highly recommend getting a liquid solution instead of a capsule or pill form. Usually the liquid solutions are much more stable and will retain their dose better.

What is the half life of cardarine?

Cardarine has a half life of around 22 hours. Because of this, you only need to dose it once per day. If your supplier gives it in 10mg doses, you can also dose cardarine morning and night to keep blood plasma levels steady throughout your cycle.

Before and After Results of Cardaine

Depending on your cycle goals, you’ll want to know what kind of results to expect of cardaine. Because this SARM has so many different uses, it really comes down to how you plan on using it.  Here are some before and after pics I found to give you an idea of what you can look forward to:

As you can see, most people tend to lose around 5 to 10lbs of fat. You can also see the polished look I was talking about before. If you stack with ostarine, you can achieve much more muscle mass while continuing to lose some fat as well.

Where to buy Cardarine online

Cardarine is for sale at numerous websites and online vendors. They will all label this SARM “for research use only”. Cardarine is not approved for human consumption by the FDA. With that being said, I highly recommend buying from Proven Peptides. They’re one of the only places that lab tests their materials to make sure that you’re getting what you pay for. Some shady companies spike their products with steroids which are cheaper to produce. Definitely avoid those companies.

Commonly asked questions

If you have any questions regarding this SARM that I didn’t already answer here, feel free to post in the comments below and I will address it. I promise to answer anyone who has a legit question. With that being said, here are some of the more commonly asked questions I get asked.

How long does it take cardarine to kick in?

Typically it takes about 2 weeks to start noticing the increased cardiovascular endurance. You’ll notice things like running become much easier after two weeks of taking a 20mg dose. Fat loss is gradual, but you should really see a difference around a month in.

Will cardarine shut me down?

No it will not. That is one of my favorite parts about this SARM. It does not interfere with your body’s natural testosterone production.

Do I need a PCT for Cardarine?

Nope. As stated above, GW-501516 will not affect your HPTA system at all. Your body will not shut down at all like it will with steroids.

Does Cardarine cause gyno?

NO! It does not touch anything that regulates estrogen. Therefore, gynocomastia is not an issue or anything to worry about. If you got gyno from cardarine, your source was bunk and likely spiked with steroids.

How long is a good cardarine cycle?

You should take GW-501516 for around 8 weeks as you see fit. I’ve extended my cycles up to 20 weeks with no big issue. It’s also great if you’re on trenbolone, because it can counteract the endurance issues caused by that. I will normally take it anywhere from 12 to 20 weeks. Others suggest around 8 weeks. Always listen to your body and see how you feel.

Closing thoughts

I hope you’ve enjoyed this guide on cardarine. My aim is to always educate and help people make good choices. If you have any question about this sarm, or any sarm in general, post it in the comments section below. As always, we want to hear about your experiences. Please post all tips, suggestions, and reviews in the comments below.

The post Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug appeared first on 101SARMs.

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug published first on http://101sarms.com/

[nancygraay]

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug

Building the perfect physique can be extremely difficult. Everyone wants that perfectly chiseled look, but getting that final polished look can feel impossible even with the help of anabolic steroids. I’ve been a personal fitness trainer for over 10 years, and one of my favorite SARMs for fat loss is a drug called cardarine. It stacks well with other SARMs and compounds, has very little side effects, and is extremely versatile. In fact, I include it in every single cycle I run due to it’s high amount of cardiovascular benefits while on cycle. Cardarine is also great for it’s hardening effect and increased vascular efficiency.

What is Cardarine?

Cardarine is truly a unique drug that has numerous uses but is primarily utilized for weight loss. This particular drug, that’s also known by the name GW-501516, is identified as being a unique medication that binds to the PPAR receptor present in your body. It is well-known that drugs that target the PPAR receptor directly impact the metabolic rate of your body. When you take cardarine, it binds to the PPAR receptor and actually forces your body’s metabolic rate to increase. This alone increases how much fat you burn on a daily basis, and also improves cardiovascular endurance.

Cardarine was first synthesized by Ligand Pharmaceuticals and GlaxsoSmithKline in the early 1990s. They theorized that this drug could help prevent obesity and even cure diabetes. While results seemed promising, their human trials ended and they decided not to pursue this SARM further. It was found that in high doses, cardarine caused cancer in rats.

Does Cardarine Cause Cancer?

When Ligand and GSK ran their clinical trials on mice, they were going in blind. They had no idea what doses were going to be effective, so they injected mice with 2000mg per day for a total of 2 years. First of all, that’s an insanely high dose. Most people run an average dose of 20mg per day, and they only run cycles for 8 weeks. Unfortunately the damage had already been done when the news had broke, and they ceased trials of gw-501516. It wasn’t until 10 years later that bodybuilders and athletes started using this compound to get a competitive edge. As of 2018, there have not been any reports of cancer in users. Not a single one.

Benefits of Cardarine

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the benefits of Cardarine. There were a lot of positive findings in the initial studies that can be beneficial to understand. This particular compound is extremely versatile and has many uses. Most people find that gw-501516  is a great tool for recomp and cutting cycles, but the truth is that you can use cardarine on a bulk too.

Cardarine helps lower body fat %

Another advantage of GW-501516 comes from it’s ability to raise the natural metabolic rate. By doing this, your body will burn more fat automatically. Many bodybuilders and pro athletes use cardarine to get that final “polished” look before a show. It is an extremely effective SARM for this purpose. Some people say it is as good as Anavar for fat loss. I personally use cardarine in all of my cutting cycles, due to the fact that it helps me shed off those last few stubborn pounds. I typically use it after I’m done with my winter bulk and as I lead up into my summer cut.

Increased cardio endurance

This is probably my favorite aspect of cardarine. Everyone hates cardio, including myself. Luckily for people like me, cardarine has the ability to actually increase your cardivascular endurance. What this means is that cardio (running, cycling, swimming) gets easier when you’re on this SARM. I gave it a test and after taking cardarine for 12 weeks, I was able to run a 10 mile race with very little difficulty. Normally I run around 3 miles before I start getting tired, but with GW-501516 I felt like I could go forever.

Lowered Risk of Diabetes

Remember those studies GSK did on rats taking cardarine? One of the findings resulted after giving them unhealthy diets along with a dose of cardarine. What they found was shocking. In the control group (rats not taking any SARM), they found that the rate of diabetes skyrocketed. However, in the group that was given cardarine, the risk for diabetes actually went down. This happened regardless of the bad diet. Cardarine has shown it’s ability to keep users from gaining body fat even when eating a lousy diet.

Cardarine for Recomping

A “recomp” is when you have the goal of losing fat while gaining muscle mass. This sarm (and maybe YK-11 too) is your best option for such a goal. My recommendation would be to stack cardarine and ostarine or yk-11 together to get a synergistic effect. You’ll have no problem losing body fat while gaining  muscle mass if you throw in a high protein diet, lift consistently, and run a few times a week.

What is the best Cardarine dosage?

If you’re thinking about running GW-50151  in your next cycle, you want to make sure you do it correctly. The normal dose for cardarine is 20mg per day. Most suppliers will supply cardaine in a dose that is similar to this, so it should be easy to take once you get your hands on it. You can take it with or without food. It does not matter either way. Also, I highly recommend getting a liquid solution instead of a capsule or pill form. Usually the liquid solutions are much more stable and will retain their dose better.

What is the half life of cardarine?

Cardarine has a half life of around 22 hours. Because of this, you only need to dose it once per day. If your supplier gives it in 10mg doses, you can also dose cardarine morning and night to keep blood plasma levels steady throughout your cycle.

Before and After Results of Cardaine

Depending on your cycle goals, you’ll want to know what kind of results to expect of cardaine. Because this SARM has so many different uses, it really comes down to how you plan on using it.  Here are some before and after pics I found to give you an idea of what you can look forward to:

As you can see, most people tend to lose around 5 to 10lbs of fat. You can also see the polished look I was talking about before. If you stack with ostarine, you can achieve much more muscle mass while continuing to lose some fat as well.

Where to buy Cardarine online

Cardarine is for sale at numerous websites and online vendors. They will all label this SARM “for research use only”. Cardarine is not approved for human consumption by the FDA. With that being said, I highly recommend buying from Proven Peptides. They’re one of the only places that lab tests their materials to make sure that you’re getting what you pay for. Some shady companies spike their products with steroids which are cheaper to produce. Definitely avoid those companies.

Commonly asked questions

If you have any questions regarding this SARM that I didn’t already answer here, feel free to post in the comments below and I will address it. I promise to answer anyone who has a legit question. With that being said, here are some of the more commonly asked questions I get asked.

How long does it take cardarine to kick in?

Typically it takes about 2 weeks to start noticing the increased cardiovascular endurance. You’ll notice things like running become much easier after two weeks of taking a 20mg dose. Fat loss is gradual, but you should really see a difference around a month in.

Will cardarine shut me down?

No it will not. That is one of my favorite parts about this SARM. It does not interfere with your body’s natural testosterone production.

Do I need a PCT for Cardarine?

Nope. As stated above, GW-501516 will not affect your HPTA system at all. Your body will not shut down at all like it will with steroids.

Does Cardarine cause gyno?

NO! It does not touch anything that regulates estrogen. Therefore, gynocomastia is not an issue or anything to worry about. If you got gyno from cardarine, your source was bunk and likely spiked with steroids.

How long is a good cardarine cycle?

You should take GW-501516 for around 8 weeks as you see fit. I’ve extended my cycles up to 20 weeks with no big issue. It’s also great if you’re on trenbolone, because it can counteract the endurance issues caused by that. I will normally take it anywhere from 12 to 20 weeks. Others suggest around 8 weeks. Always listen to your body and see how you feel.

Closing thoughts

I hope you’ve enjoyed this guide on cardarine. My aim is to always educate and help people make good choices. If you have any question about this sarm, or any sarm in general, post it in the comments section below. As always, we want to hear about your experiences. Please post all tips, suggestions, and reviews in the comments below.

The post Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug appeared first on 101SARMs.

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug syndicated from http://101sarms.com/

[101sarms]

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug

Building the perfect physique can be extremely difficult. Everyone wants that perfectly chiseled look, but getting that final polished look can feel impossible even with the help of anabolic steroids. I’ve been a personal fitness trainer for over 10 years, and one of my favorite SARMs for fat loss is a drug called cardarine. It stacks well with other SARMs and compounds, has very little side effects, and is extremely versatile. In fact, I include it in every single cycle I run due to it’s high amount of cardiovascular benefits while on cycle. Cardarine is also great for it’s hardening effect and increased vascular efficiency.

What is Cardarine?

Cardarine is truly a unique drug that has numerous uses but is primarily utilized for weight loss. This particular drug, that’s also known by the name GW-501516, is identified as being a unique medication that binds to the PPAR receptor present in your body. It is well-known that drugs that target the PPAR receptor directly impact the metabolic rate of your body. When you take cardarine, it binds to the PPAR receptor and actually forces your body’s metabolic rate to increase. This alone increases how much fat you burn on a daily basis, and also improves cardiovascular endurance.

Cardarine was first synthesized by Ligand Pharmaceuticals and GlaxsoSmithKline in the early 1990s. They theorized that this drug could help prevent obesity and even cure diabetes. While results seemed promising, their human trials ended and they decided not to pursue this SARM further. It was found that in high doses, cardarine caused cancer in rats.

Does Cardarine Cause Cancer?

When Ligand and GSK ran their clinical trials on mice, they were going in blind. They had no idea what doses were going to be effective, so they injected mice with 2000mg per day for a total of 2 years. First of all, that’s an insanely high dose. Most people run an average dose of 20mg per day, and they only run cycles for 8 weeks. Unfortunately the damage had already been done when the news had broke, and they ceased trials of gw-501516. It wasn’t until 10 years later that bodybuilders and athletes started using this compound to get a competitive edge. As of 2018, there have not been any reports of cancer in users. Not a single one.

Benefits of Cardarine

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the benefits of Cardarine. There were a lot of positive findings in the initial studies that can be beneficial to understand. This particular compound is extremely versatile and has many uses. Most people find that gw-501516  is a great tool for recomp and cutting cycles, but the truth is that you can use cardarine on a bulk too.

Cardarine helps lower body fat %

Another advantage of GW-501516 comes from it’s ability to raise the natural metabolic rate. By doing this, your body will burn more fat automatically. Many bodybuilders and pro athletes use cardarine to get that final “polished” look before a show. It is an extremely effective SARM for this purpose. Some people say it is as good as Anavar for fat loss. I personally use cardarine in all of my cutting cycles, due to the fact that it helps me shed off those last few stubborn pounds. I typically use it after I’m done with my winter bulk and as I lead up into my summer cut.

Increased cardio endurance

This is probably my favorite aspect of cardarine. Everyone hates cardio, including myself. Luckily for people like me, cardarine has the ability to actually increase your cardivascular endurance. What this means is that cardio (running, cycling, swimming) gets easier when you’re on this SARM. I gave it a test and after taking cardarine for 12 weeks, I was able to run a 10 mile race with very little difficulty. Normally I run around 3 miles before I start getting tired, but with GW-501516 I felt like I could go forever.

Lowered Risk of Diabetes

Remember those studies GSK did on rats taking cardarine? One of the findings resulted after giving them unhealthy diets along with a dose of cardarine. What they found was shocking. In the control group (rats not taking any SARM), they found that the rate of diabetes skyrocketed. However, in the group that was given cardarine, the risk for diabetes actually went down. This happened regardless of the bad diet. Cardarine has shown it’s ability to keep users from gaining body fat even when eating a lousy diet.

Cardarine for Recomping

A “recomp” is when you have the goal of losing fat while gaining muscle mass. This sarm (and maybe YK-11 too) is your best option for such a goal. My recommendation would be to stack cardarine and ostarine or yk-11 together to get a synergistic effect. You’ll have no problem losing body fat while gaining  muscle mass if you throw in a high protein diet, lift consistently, and run a few times a week.

What is the best Cardarine dosage?

If you’re thinking about running GW-50151  in your next cycle, you want to make sure you do it correctly. The normal dose for cardarine is 20mg per day. Most suppliers will supply cardaine in a dose that is similar to this, so it should be easy to take once you get your hands on it. You can take it with or without food. It does not matter either way. Also, I highly recommend getting a liquid solution instead of a capsule or pill form. Usually the liquid solutions are much more stable and will retain their dose better.

What is the half life of cardarine?

Cardarine has a half life of around 22 hours. Because of this, you only need to dose it once per day. If your supplier gives it in 10mg doses, you can also dose cardarine morning and night to keep blood plasma levels steady throughout your cycle.

Before and After Results of Cardaine

Depending on your cycle goals, you’ll want to know what kind of results to expect of cardaine. Because this SARM has so many different uses, it really comes down to how you plan on using it.  Here are some before and after pics I found to give you an idea of what you can look forward to:

As you can see, most people tend to lose around 5 to 10lbs of fat. You can also see the polished look I was talking about before. If you stack with ostarine, you can achieve much more muscle mass while continuing to lose some fat as well.

Where to buy Cardarine online

Cardarine is for sale at numerous websites and online vendors. They will all label this SARM “for research use only”. Cardarine is not approved for human consumption by the FDA. With that being said, I highly recommend buying from Proven Peptides. They’re one of the only places that lab tests their materials to make sure that you’re getting what you pay for. Some shady companies spike their products with steroids which are cheaper to produce. Definitely avoid those companies.

Commonly asked questions

If you have any questions regarding this SARM that I didn’t already answer here, feel free to post in the comments below and I will address it. I promise to answer anyone who has a legit question. With that being said, here are some of the more commonly asked questions I get asked.

How long does it take cardarine to kick in?

Typically it takes about 2 weeks to start noticing the increased cardiovascular endurance. You’ll notice things like running become much easier after two weeks of taking a 20mg dose. Fat loss is gradual, but you should really see a difference around a month in.

Will cardarine shut me down?

No it will not. That is one of my favorite parts about this SARM. It does not interfere with your body’s natural testosterone production.

Do I need a PCT for Cardarine?

Nope. As stated above, GW-501516 will not affect your HPTA system at all. Your body will not shut down at all like it will with steroids.

Does Cardarine cause gyno?

NO! It does not touch anything that regulates estrogen. Therefore, gynocomastia is not an issue or anything to worry about. If you got gyno from cardarine, your source was bunk and likely spiked with steroids.

How long is a good cardarine cycle?

You should take GW-501516 for around 8 weeks as you see fit. I’ve extended my cycles up to 20 weeks with no big issue. It’s also great if you’re on trenbolone, because it can counteract the endurance issues caused by that. I will normally take it anywhere from 12 to 20 weeks. Others suggest around 8 weeks. Always listen to your body and see how you feel.

Closing thoughts

I hope you’ve enjoyed this guide on cardarine. My aim is to always educate and help people make good choices. If you have any question about this sarm, or any sarm in general, post it in the comments section below. As always, we want to hear about your experiences. Please post all tips, suggestions, and reviews in the comments below.

The post Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug appeared first on 101SARMs.

[marthawatkins]

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug

Building the perfect physique can be extremely difficult. Everyone wants that perfectly chiseled look, but getting that final polished look can feel impossible even with the help of anabolic steroids. I’ve been a personal fitness trainer for over 10 years, and one of my favorite SARMs for fat loss is a drug called cardarine. It stacks well with other SARMs and compounds, has very little side effects, and is extremely versatile. In fact, I include it in every single cycle I run due to it’s high amount of cardiovascular benefits while on cycle. Cardarine is also great for it’s hardening effect and increased vascular efficiency.

What is Cardarine?

Cardarine is truly a unique drug that has numerous uses but is primarily utilized for weight loss. This particular drug, that’s also known by the name GW-501516, is identified as being a unique medication that binds to the PPAR receptor present in your body. It is well-known that drugs that target the PPAR receptor directly impact the metabolic rate of your body. When you take cardarine, it binds to the PPAR receptor and actually forces your body’s metabolic rate to increase. This alone increases how much fat you burn on a daily basis, and also improves cardiovascular endurance.

Cardarine was first synthesized by Ligand Pharmaceuticals and GlaxsoSmithKline in the early 1990s. They theorized that this drug could help prevent obesity and even cure diabetes. While results seemed promising, their human trials ended and they decided not to pursue this SARM further. It was found that in high doses, cardarine caused cancer in rats.

Does Cardarine Cause Cancer?

When Ligand and GSK ran their clinical trials on mice, they were going in blind. They had no idea what doses were going to be effective, so they injected mice with 2000mg per day for a total of 2 years. First of all, that’s an insanely high dose. Most people run an average dose of 20mg per day, and they only run cycles for 8 weeks. Unfortunately the damage had already been done when the news had broke, and they ceased trials of gw-501516. It wasn’t until 10 years later that bodybuilders and athletes started using this compound to get a competitive edge. As of 2018, there have not been any reports of cancer in users. Not a single one.

Benefits of Cardarine

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the benefits of Cardarine. There were a lot of positive findings in the initial studies that can be beneficial to understand. This particular compound is extremely versatile and has many uses. Most people find that gw-501516  is a great tool for recomp and cutting cycles, but the truth is that you can use cardarine on a bulk too.

Cardarine helps lower body fat %

Another advantage of GW-501516 comes from it’s ability to raise the natural metabolic rate. By doing this, your body will burn more fat automatically. Many bodybuilders and pro athletes use cardarine to get that final “polished” look before a show. It is an extremely effective SARM for this purpose. Some people say it is as good as Anavar for fat loss. I personally use cardarine in all of my cutting cycles, due to the fact that it helps me shed off those last few stubborn pounds. I typically use it after I’m done with my winter bulk and as I lead up into my summer cut.

Increased cardio endurance

This is probably my favorite aspect of cardarine. Everyone hates cardio, including myself. Luckily for people like me, cardarine has the ability to actually increase your cardivascular endurance. What this means is that cardio (running, cycling, swimming) gets easier when you’re on this SARM. I gave it a test and after taking cardarine for 12 weeks, I was able to run a 10 mile race with very little difficulty. Normally I run around 3 miles before I start getting tired, but with GW-501516 I felt like I could go forever.

Lowered Risk of Diabetes

Remember those studies GSK did on rats taking cardarine? One of the findings resulted after giving them unhealthy diets along with a dose of cardarine. What they found was shocking. In the control group (rats not taking any SARM), they found that the rate of diabetes skyrocketed. However, in the group that was given cardarine, the risk for diabetes actually went down. This happened regardless of the bad diet. Cardarine has shown it’s ability to keep users from gaining body fat even when eating a lousy diet.

Cardarine for Recomping

A “recomp” is when you have the goal of losing fat while gaining muscle mass. This sarm (and maybe YK-11 too) is your best option for such a goal. My recommendation would be to stack cardarine and ostarine or yk-11 together to get a synergistic effect. You’ll have no problem losing body fat while gaining  muscle mass if you throw in a high protein diet, lift consistently, and run a few times a week.

What is the best Cardarine dosage?

If you’re thinking about running GW-50151  in your next cycle, you want to make sure you do it correctly. The normal dose for cardarine is 20mg per day. Most suppliers will supply cardaine in a dose that is similar to this, so it should be easy to take once you get your hands on it. You can take it with or without food. It does not matter either way. Also, I highly recommend getting a liquid solution instead of a capsule or pill form. Usually the liquid solutions are much more stable and will retain their dose better.

What is the half life of cardarine?

Cardarine has a half life of around 22 hours. Because of this, you only need to dose it once per day. If your supplier gives it in 10mg doses, you can also dose cardarine morning and night to keep blood plasma levels steady throughout your cycle.

Before and After Results of Cardaine

Depending on your cycle goals, you’ll want to know what kind of results to expect of cardaine. Because this SARM has so many different uses, it really comes down to how you plan on using it.  Here are some before and after pics I found to give you an idea of what you can look forward to:

As you can see, most people tend to lose around 5 to 10lbs of fat. You can also see the polished look I was talking about before. If you stack with ostarine, you can achieve much more muscle mass while continuing to lose some fat as well.

Where to buy Cardarine online

Cardarine is for sale at numerous websites and online vendors. They will all label this SARM “for research use only”. Cardarine is not approved for human consumption by the FDA. With that being said, I highly recommend buying from Proven Peptides. They’re one of the only places that lab tests their materials to make sure that you’re getting what you pay for. Some shady companies spike their products with steroids which are cheaper to produce. Definitely avoid those companies.

Commonly asked questions

If you have any questions regarding this SARM that I didn’t already answer here, feel free to post in the comments below and I will address it. I promise to answer anyone who has a legit question. With that being said, here are some of the more commonly asked questions I get asked.

How long does it take cardarine to kick in?

Typically it takes about 2 weeks to start noticing the increased cardiovascular endurance. You’ll notice things like running become much easier after two weeks of taking a 20mg dose. Fat loss is gradual, but you should really see a difference around a month in.

Will cardarine shut me down?

No it will not. That is one of my favorite parts about this SARM. It does not interfere with your body’s natural testosterone production.

Do I need a PCT for Cardarine?

Nope. As stated above, GW-501516 will not affect your HPTA system at all. Your body will not shut down at all like it will with steroids.

Does Cardarine cause gyno?

NO! It does not touch anything that regulates estrogen. Therefore, gynocomastia is not an issue or anything to worry about. If you got gyno from cardarine, your source was bunk and likely spiked with steroids.

How long is a good cardarine cycle?

You should take GW-501516 for around 8 weeks as you see fit. I’ve extended my cycles up to 20 weeks with no big issue. It’s also great if you’re on trenbolone, because it can counteract the endurance issues caused by that. I will normally take it anywhere from 12 to 20 weeks. Others suggest around 8 weeks. Always listen to your body and see how you feel.

Closing thoughts

I hope you’ve enjoyed this guide on cardarine. My aim is to always educate and help people make good choices. If you have any question about this sarm, or any sarm in general, post it in the comments section below. As always, we want to hear about your experiences. Please post all tips, suggestions, and reviews in the comments below.

The post Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug appeared first on 101SARMs.

Cardarine: Breaking Down a Miracle Drug posted first on http://101sarms.com/