#I was out walking through a field for funsies with my coworkers at the time too

[planet4546b]

this is an extremely bizarre question i just thought of but. thoughts on the s/n cast being in a lighthearted (??) au a la hs/college/coffee shop au but still forced to meet (group project members, reluctant coworkers, etc.). i have no idea if this makes sense fksjks

ohohoho this is very fun. time to normalify my favorite weirdos!!!!

lighthearted au of choice is 'everyone works in the same shitty mall' because its the one i can make make sense in my head the best. dont ask why jdhslkag

sam is the long suffering assistant manager for a best buy. eric is the actual manager and the rest of the spire network folks are the other employees here. darcy has stolen at least 2 entire xboxes. indrani, grace, and sam walk to the food court together every day to have lunch together and shittalk everyone else.

sam has a ham radio hobby and uses her store discount to buy parts (i havent been to a best buy in forever idk if they have those. bear with me here). she is a radio nerd in every universe and i love her <3

mel works in the new escape room (cy also works here) and is weirdly serious about it?? emily works in a trader joes. jackie is in the weird little board game store you know the kind.

jackie steals pokemon cards from behind the counter for mel. mvp

i could literally just have said they know each other from working in the same store but instead im about to build the weirdest relationship map ever because #ilovecomplexity. ok here we go

mel, em, and sam have lived in this town and known each other since they were kids. mel and sam were closer in high school, but then mel left town to go to college for a few years (before dropping out), and sam and em started hanging out a lot more. jackie just recently moved to town to go to the state school nearby (fun fact: in a previous version of this story it took place in suburban illinois, and emily went to university of illinois urbana-champaign so lets say its there for funsies). emily is also taking classes there so she and jackie ended up in a class together (em is a math major and jackie is the worlds most pathetic physics major so they probably took like calc 3 together or something) and thats how jackie got dragged into the group!!!

sam has the worst little awful apartment youve ever seen (its literally the r/malelivingspaces i dont deserve a bedframe post) and jackie is somehow always hanging out there (jackie lives with 3 roommates and is always in a fight with one of them). sam frankly does not mind. the two of them get a long a LOT better without an impending apocalypse. physics student jackie + radio enthusiast sam spend a lot of time discussing like, the electromagnetic spectrum and also jackie is making sam watch breaking bad and sometimes they play minecraft.

emily: im gonna ask sam to have dinner at the california pizza kitchen with me

mel: what the fuck. thats a terrible idea. why would you take her to the fucking california pizza kitchen in the mall we literally work at. what??

emily: ...... should i do the cheesecake factory??

jackie is the ultimate 'lie to your boss. leave work for no reason. just walk out. fuck it ✌️' guy and is constantly trying to get the other three to spend work hours just sort of fucking around and hanging out with them. like theyll tell their manager theyre taking a bathroom break and then walk down to the escape room and talk to mel for 30 minutes. mel, who takes her work in this universe as seriously as in canon, absolutely HATES this and is like no im not skipping work with you. stop it. but caves eventually and spends a lot of time just sort of wandering through the weird field behind the mall with jackie and getting high. its great

chaos and absolute tragedy when the sbarros in the food court is replaced by a fancy health food place and its the only topic of discusion for months. no survivors

emily and mel are on a much better path towards actually mending their relationships in this world. i think they both still live at home, and having their other siblings leo and addie around (as well as their mom and grandma) makes them WAYYYY less likely to want to tear out each others throats. sam loves going to dinner at em and mels because it reminds her a lot of her own family (and because shes known them so long shes been going over there forever. helped addie with her math homework when addie was in hs kinda vibe. its nice)

also while sam is still estranged from her family in this version, the paternal relationship between her and eric is also much more clear, which is also nice. sam PEOPLE LOVE YOU.

luna this is bad. im actually kind of very invested in this au now. im kind of going to keep thinking about it all week. uh oh. anyways this is very scattered but thank you for the very fun question MUAH

[tsoaandpatroclus]

kunikida w/tattoos

right. due to some of the posts ive been seeing (mostly by @kunikidazai, @mr-reblogbutton and @thelampisaflashlight) i decided to chip in and add a few of my own hc's about good ol' kuni and his tattoos

☆ as someone who’s been inked, it doesn’t hurt as much as a lot of people would think, but it’s still. irritating. like several thousand bee stings but without the poison and anxiety.

☆ now, kunikida? super high pain tolerance. tattoos would be a walk in the park for him compared to what he’s grown up with

☆ (this guy used to get into fights as a kid and canonically hates authority figures. my guy has to have some sort of tolerance for pain if he got away with constantly being in fights)

☆ you wanna tell a tiny, delinquent kunikida doppo he won’t get a job if he gets a tattoo? sure. but you can bet your entire bank account and your ass that he’s going to get the biggest, most easily hidden tattoos he can find and hold down a job, just to tell you that you were wrong

☆ flowers all up and down his sides? done.

☆ a big ole tree and crow design on his other side/back to satisfy the inevitable ink cravings after the first tattoo? easy-peasy.

☆ some more pretty tribal and flower designs crawling up his other arm, hidden by his clothes? worn proudly, purely out of spite. and also for funsies, because you can bet your ass that he handpicked and designed all of his own tattoos so he didn’t have to copy anyone else’s ideas.

☆ now, the ADA doesn’t see kunikida as the ‘problem child’ he originally was. they see a man that can rule justly with an iron fist and strict rules, and still be respected

☆ they see a former math teacher and the next president of the ADA and dazai’s partner in the field and a workaholic, not some dirty fighter who learned his skills on the streets before cleaning himself up

☆ really, what were they expecting? certainly not this kind of art portrayed so beautifully on kunikida’s skin. certainly not stories about how he found his Ideal by getting into one too many fights and realizing that his former life was not the one he wanted to stay in forever

☆ (definitely not a scar on his torso from when he got stabbed that one time in high school, definitely not how some of the bones in his toes didn’t set right after he broke them in a fight and refused to go to the hospital)

☆ and the reason they find out, you ask?

☆ dazai looks through kunikida’s Ideal and sees a few pages that were ripped from a different notebook and shoved into that one. he sees, plain as day, big flowing designs and ‘tat ideas’ scribbled messily on the top, like he was younger when he wrote it

☆ he definitely isn’t prepared to see big check marks next to the ones kunikida already has, nor an appointment date for a tattoo artist on the other side of the city set for when kunikida asked for a day off

☆ naturally he shows everybody, but only when he knows kunikida is going to get his newest ink that day and won’t be working until tomorrow

☆ (ranpo probably already knows, let’s b real. he doesn’t care enough about tattoos to say anything negative, especially when he knows what kunikida has been through)

☆ when he comes back the next day, favoring his hips and sitting up way too straight to be even remotely comfortable, dazai asks (casually, ofc) if he can see kunikida’s new tattoo

☆ knowing kunikida, he’s furious. furious that they found out, furious that he let them find out, furious that dazai has the balls to ask him in front of everyone in the ADA if he can see the tattoos that he wanted to keep private

☆ he’s too sore to really go after dazai so soon after another big tattoo, but he’s goaded into promising that when everything heals (which can take up to a week), he’ll show them what he has in his collection

☆ (this doesn’t stop his angry ranting, though. it goes on for twenty minutes before dazai gets bored and walks into the other room, knowing kunikida doesn’t want to move too much and still hearing his yelling through the walls)

bonus:

☆ when kunikida is finally healed enough to show his coworkers his ink (which he put down in his schedule and everything), dazai is suddenly way more gay than he was before and yosano is having another sexuality crisis. straight? hell no, kunikida’s not that good. bi? definite possibility. she’ll have to look into that.