#I was thinking about this the other day after the acoustic version of anti-hero was released

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Put in the tags which songs off of Midnights you would like to hear on tour with a full production, stripped/acoustic and in a medley/mashup.

[beloved-swiftie]

songs I desperately want taylor to play when she comes to europe

our song (country taylor I cannot wait to meet you)

I'm only me when I'm with you (<3)

fearless (underrated classic)

you belong with me (the first song I ever heard by taylor. I cannot tell you how many times I watched that videoclip. I even downloaded it on my iPod. yes I'm that old.)

love story (I mean, do I even need to explain?)

sparks fly (drop everything NOW)

back to december (iconic. also fun fact I always thought the lyric was: maybe this is wishful thinking, probably my last dream and, if you love again, I swear I'll love you right)

enchanted (PLEASE DON'T BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE)

long live (I need to hear it live at least once in my lifetime. I'll do anything)

the story of us (!!!!!!!! fave song when I was 12 and honestly kinda still)

treacherous (pls)

style (please acoustic version. I'm begging)

wildest dreams (you see me in HINDSIGHT, tangled up with you ALL NIGHT, BURNING - IT - DOWN, someday when you LEAVE ME, I bet these MEMORIES, FOLLOW - YOU - AROUND)

...ready for it? (in the middle of the night...... in my dreams..... AH)

I did something bad (if a man talks SHIT then I owe him NOTHING)

delicate (one two three LET'S GO BITCH)

gorgeous (I saw a live version on youtube and I cannot stop thinking about it. the audience singing the *ding*. so iconic. I wanna be part of it)

call it what you want (one of the most romantic songs of all time. I listen to the snl version every day)

new year's day (please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognise anywhere)

cornelia street (the live version from paris haunts me. I NEED to hear it in person)

death by a thousand cuts (see above)

cruel summer (I LOVE YOU AIN'T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD)

paper rings (such a bop!!! nobody can convice me other wise)

the man (honestly hear for that pause when she sings so it's okay that I'm maaaaad?)

london boy (my friend and I were in london this summer and we were playing this song pretty much the entire time)

cardigan (but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you'd haunt all of my what ifs, the smell of smoke would hang around this long, 'cause I knew everything when I was young, I knew I'd curse you for the longest time, chasin' shadows in the grocery line, I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired, and you'd be standin' in my front porch light, and I knew you'd come back to MEEEE)

this is me trying (the song that truly understood me)

august (you know you want to, taylor)

betty (taylor, please say fuck)

'tis the damn season (now I'm missing your smile, heart me out)

long story short (I'm so here for the soft: long story short, I survive-ived at the end of the song)

no body, no crime (if she does it, the performance will be ✨iconic✨)

right where you left me (fave song. ever.)

mr. perfectly fine (HOW'S YOUR HEART AFTER BREAKING MINE)

that's when (such a bop)

I bet you think about me (I listen to this song every day)

all too well (10 minute version) (obviously)

anti-hero (sexy baby)

you're on your own kid (bringing the tissues)

karma (I just KNOW she'll love performing this live)

would've, could've should've (GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD, IT WAS MINE FIRST)

(in order of release date)

@taylorswift @taylornation

[jazzviewswithcjshearn]

A deeper look at: Thana Alexa: ONA (Self produced, 2020)

This review is dedicated to my mother, my best friend, Bonnie Marino Shearn (July 9, 1948-August 9, 2016)

Thana Alexa: vocals; ROSA Vocal Group (Nicole Zuraitis, Sophia Rei, Claudia Acuna, Sarah Charles): vocals; Carmen Staaf: piano, keyboards; Jordan Peters: guitar; Matt Brewer: acoustic and electric bass; Antonio Sanchez: drums; with guests Staceyann Chin: spoken word; Regina Carter: violin; and Becca Stevens: vocals.

Women are the most powerful creatures on the planet, they have been the bedrock of society since time began, a stabilizing life force.  Yet, twenty years into the 21th century, despite paradigm shifts made throughout history from the likes of Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Susan B. Anthony, Indira Gandhi, and Malala Yusef among countless others around the globe, women are still fighting for basic human rights.  Vocalist Thana Alexa's sophomore album, ONA follows five years after her debut Ode To Heroes (Harmonia Mundi/Jazz Village, 2015).  Not only is it a stunning, powerful statement on what it means to be a woman in all aspects: giver of life, friend, sister, daughter, lover, it is the most complete artistic statement to date from the PORIN (Croatian Music Academy) nominee and Downbeat Rising Star vocalist.  ONA, is Croatian for she, (coincedentally, onna no hito, is woman in Japanese) and the complete tale Alexa tells on womanhood from start to finish is riveting.  Her excellent group with keyboardist Carmen Staaf, guitarist Jordan Peters, bassist Matt Brewer, husband/co producer Antonio Sanchez on drums  in addition to the ROSA vocal group, spoken word from LGBT activist and poet Staceyann Chin and guests violinist Regina Carter and vocalist Becca Stevens, come together in a sparkling unified vision.

The title track is a rallying cry of sorts, both primal and unmistakably modern.  A drone of  voices fade in from the Rosa Vocal Group. Some of the voices utilizing striking use of quarter tones, setting the stage for a hypnotic chant in an equally so 11/8 meter.  Alexa's lead vocal assertively takes the center with arresting lyrics for the first verse:

I am Woman

My roots reach into the ground

Man wants to keep me down

But my Wolfpack won’t allow

They call us nasty when

We speak above the Man

Won’t teach our girls their version of

What they want as feminine

We must be better than

Just to be equal to

Even when we succeed

We don’t get paid like you

Stop all your staring, boy

Your disrespectful noise,

You’re wrong if you think

I Was born to be your toy

With these passionate searing words, the vocalist takes no quarter in expressing her stance as a human, an indictment on the political and social institutional sexism that is an unfortunate part of the modern culture.  Women are speaking up, and rising, making  so many waves, threatening the conventional power structure who are absolutely clueless as far as the struggles of people of color, LGBTQ, disabled, poor and mentally ill- the rhetoric of Alexa is challenging such forces and calling them out.  As the paradigm is finally starting to crumble,  those in power are using baseless fear tactics that are catering toward the current anti intellectual climate.  She also flexes her chops as a sensational improviser here who has grown by leaps and bounds since her work in Gene Ess' Fractal Attraction, Michael Olatuja's Lagos Pepper Soup, Antonio Sanchez & Migration and most recently SONICA.  Alexa glides over Sanchez' truly interactive comping and deep listening; his drums becoming more open and resonant from the t-shirt deadened tom colors found earlier in the track.  The vocalist's inventive improvisation punctuated with growls and wails calls upon the type of stylings found from Urzsula Dudziak and Meredith Monk, in addition to soaring high note swoops recalling Ella Fitzgerald.  

Women rising is a fitting motif continuing on to “The Resistance”  Sanchez's deadened toms, and an effects treated snare with tiny tambourine bells frame a stone groove as the singer puts forth more provocative lyrics inspired by her visit to the Women's March.  The gathering was the biggest single day protest in American history. Critics of the protest (as told in the documentary White Savior: A History of Racism In American Churches) argued that this protest, which has done so much to move women forward, was primarily a vehicle of white women-- however the impact it made was for all women.  It was an immediate mobilization of social justice, right after the election of Donald Trump, and one of the most heartening things to see in years.  Sanchez' deep pocket groove, Brewer's vamping bass and Staaf's Fender Rhodes  lay a wonderful cushion as Alexa moves through the verse, the drummer's Bonham cum Blakey bass drum triplets  add considerable momentum.  The spoken word from LGBTQ activist Staceyann Chin’s fiery invocation, appropriately places volcanic drums underneath echoing her scorching fervor.  The reprise of the chorus with it's marching snare is positively adrenaline pumping and the tune ends cathartically with layers of melodic development over attractive chords.

“Pachamama” is a moving lament to Pachamama, the goddess of the Andes, and is a deep reminder that Earth is a mother to us all.  Alexa sings with some of the deepest tenderness and maturity on the album, Matt Brewer's gorgeous melodic bass solo hangs the gentle caress of Sanchez' cymbals, and guest Regina Carter's violin solo drips with emotion and a deep cerulean hue that makes the 11 minute ballad more than engaging.

Alexa's second offering to her late brother and best friend Niki, “Set Free” is another treasure of a ballad.  The lyrical content explores the nature of the soul, and the concept of the soul as energy.  The track, a follow up to “Ghost Hawk” on the debut album is every bit as moving  and deeply emotional, the listener can imagine the kind of person Niki was, and how much a part of the ever present.  He lives through the vocalist, and through this touching piece, the listener truly gets to know him.  “Teardrop” a hit from trip hop group Massive Attack. has been a tour de force live staple for Alexa for years.

The piece is a vehicle for her voice as if it was a horn or drums, taking advantage of her interests in these areas.  Sanchez, with dead snare, faithfully stays true to the original rhythm, with a bit of extra seasoning, and Alexa's interpretation of the lyrics are nuanced, as to her, the line between reality and fantasy is blurred when one deals with, love, obsession, attraction desire and all the things that entails.  The expert use of multi tracking and her flexible rich alto voice are major contributions to the overall mood of the piece.  Themes of love, desire, and sexuality are followed up on with “Animal Instinct” . Alexa's comfort with her own sexuality in the poetic lyrics create a vivid, erotic soundscape for the listeners.  Aside from the extended technique aspect of Sanchez' drums, Jordan Peters contributes a sensual, smoky, distorted guitar solo heightening the sensuality. “He Said, She Said” is a wonderful paean to the marriage of one of Alexa's best friends, featuring guest vocalist, Becca Stevens.  The album closes with a truly inventive spin on Tears For Fears, classic “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”.  Alexa's arrangement begins with an ingenious vocal vamp intro in 7/4, with the familiar lyrics section being driven by Sanchez in that time signature, while the 6/4 shuffle is only explored at the tune's coda which one again brings back the previous layers to an immensely rewarding conclusion.

Sound:

ONA is leaps and bounds above Ode To Heroes on a production level.  Alexa's debut was produced  like your garden variety jazz record, everything sounding quite live in the studio with minimal overdubs.  Like the best pop, rock, jazz-funk and jazz-rock records, Alexa uses the studio as an instrument and explores it to the fullest capacity.  The record, largely cut at The Lab, Alexa and Sanchez's home studio,  took over a year to complete and the effort shows.  Her skills as a producer have increased ten fold as has her comfort level with technology. Antonio Sanchez, as co producer has lended his considerable chops, so those familiar with albums such as Bad Hombre, Lines In The Sand, and his work on Sargeant Pepper Revisited, will find some familiar sonic terrain.  Sanchez uses dampening techniques and additional percussion to expand the sound of the drum set, and some of his favorite production tricks appear here.  These techniques include the reverse drums on “The Resistance”, a wide stereo spread, pans, and little sub mix details.  Alexa's use of devices such as the TC Helicon and loopers from Boss have come in handy too, turning her voice into a virtual choir.  Everything is mastered nicely too without a lot of audio evidence of extreme brick walled, compression.  The album is a studio piece of art.  

Closing thoughts:

With ONA, Thana Alexa has established herself as the pre eminent vocalist of her generation.  Her deep conviction to her feelings as a woman and social change is a victory not just for biological women, LGBTQ women, women with disabilities, but ALL women, and humanity.  Alexa just doesn't sit on the sidelines talking about what's wrong, she actively (along with Antonio Sanchez) pursues social justice, and uses her art to create  positive change.  It is very early in the year, but ONA is already staking claim to being one of the best albums of the year, and her future development is going to be very interesting. Rise up! Rise up!

Music: 10/10

Sound: 9.5

[omegatheunknown]

...In which I thoroughly (yet naively) survey Metallica.

More than a month ago I finished reading Masters of Doom, which in addition to being an interesting history of PC Gaming’s pioneering id Software and stirring nostalgia about the halcyon days of 90s first-person shooters, made frequent and compelling reference to the influence of heavy metal on the aesthetic sensibilities of John Romero (though he’s ultimately more of a Dokken fan, which I can’t speak to.) Listening to the actual soundtracks of Doom, Doom II, Quake, Duke Nukem 3D led me straight into a curious survey of Megadeth, then Metallica, briefly Slayer, Anthrax, back to Metallica, Exodus, Sepultura, Suicidal Tendencies, Overkill, back to Megadeth and then back Metallica, over and over Metallica. I am listening to Metallica now. 

Can’t say I’m sure why. Without meaning to sound condescending, I’d always assumed if thrash metal appealed to me, it might have happened when I was a teenager. Perhaps environmental factors were at play, but at my most susceptible and angst filled years, the garage rock revival was in full swing, as was something of a (perceived? I will never know if this was a widespread thing. I wasn’t nearly as online then) grunge renaissance. Grunge was locked in as tonal and aesthetic sensibility and my friends’ bands were grungy pop punk with a bit of emo sprinkled on top. As I said, the questionable excesses of youth, complete with pretension about what is good (The Stooges, The Pixies, The Strokes and NIRVANA) and what is silly and ridiculous (Nu-Metal’s relative strength and the silliness of bands like Korn and Slipknot did not help Metal’s esteem.) A respect but low level of enthusiasm for Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden didn’t manifest anything serious any time in the last fifteen years. Thrash’s underground roots put some doubt in the mind re: whatever vague supposition my teenaged peers and I had about the opposing forces of punk and metal (though I do remember actual arguments with a fan of what I described as ornate but soulless arpeggios who thought PJ Harvey’s oeuvre was unsophisticated and boring.) There’s a lot of grunge’s DNA in early Metallica. Which kind of makes it all the more bewildering that I haven’t been here before. All that wasted time listening to Mudhoney! Also, not to spoil the ending, how bewildering it is that Metallica absolutely fell to pieces in the 90s.    Kill ‘em All is a stupidly exciting record. Had I been around to hear it in the 80s, it would’ve melted my brain. I assume if I heard it in the 00s it would’ve done the same. I think part of the issue with Metallica is that when I was a precocious kid/tween they were not nearly at their best and the only second hand exposure you get to a well-established but no longer thriving band is their hits, and even post-survey I don’t particularly care for ‘One’ or ‘Enter Sandman.’ (Then again, at the height of Metallica v Napster you’d think young Zaq would’ve been a little more curious... and those mp3s would’ve be right there...) Anyway, Kill ‘em All: devastating and fun. Imagine if Mötley Crüe was ever any good (were they?) No, that’s insane. And gives a person very little to go on. High energy from the jump, utter shred. Reminiscent only of a slower, hopelessly outclassed version of the same thing, which is to say I think if you slowed a track like The Four Horsemen down you’d end up with a dreary sounding Sabbath number but why would you want that? (A different day perhaps.) Definitely the sexiest of the Metallica albums, just a little bit of the electricity of hair metal bleeding in at the edges, though the most wicked excesses are in flurries of virtuosity. “Bass solo, take one” -- much as I enjoy ‘Hit the Lights,’ ‘Jump in the Fire,’ ‘Seek & Destroy’ (and other imperative calls to action,) I think the bass solo ‘(Pulling Teeth)’ that splits the album is my favourite bit. Ride the Lightning -- actually, speaking of Cliff Burton, he of the improbable bass solos -- supposedly he planted the seeds of music theory/actually thinking about the music in his bandmates’ heads, leading to acoustic guitars, curious instrumentals and harmonies winding their way into the sophomore album. This probably also led them to getting way ahead of themselves and veering out of their lane, but in the meantime, Ride the Lightning is a lot more varied to listen to than their debut. Yes, it continues to wail, but it wails in new and exciting ways. ‘Creeping Death’ and ‘Trapped Under Ice’ are the choicest tracks. ‘Fade to Black’ is a pretty good song by the standards of a power ballad and is a nice dimension to add to the album but I’d point out that it portends Metallica’s inevitable doom.  Master of Puppets is considered (nearly anywhere I’ve looked) the undisputed champion of thrash metal albums. I would kinda love to have a dissenting opinion here, but it feels impossible to deny. It is stunningly heavy and loud and kinetic. It’s definitely a twin to its predecessor, they share a layout, right up to track 4 being a power ballad. As a set they’re the Pokemon Red/Blue of Thrash. Anything other than the subtle evolution in the playing and production would’ve been weird as hell -- album number three and they nearly perfect the genre. On the subject of Metallica’s power ballads, I’d make the point that ‘Welcome Home (Sanitarium)’ is the pinnacle of their efforts -- gorgeous and grotesque in equal measure. And like Ride the Lightning follows ‘Fade to Black’ with an extra-heavy track, ‘Sanitarium’ is followed by the vicious gatling gun of ‘Disposable Heroes,’ as emphatic an anti-war song as one could imagine. Again special mention to a Cliff Burton feature -- ‘Orion’ is an oddity in the Metallica canon, can’t imagine there’s anything else like it that I’ve missed. It’s the most appropriate space marine soundtrack I’ve ever heard, it previews a much nerdier version of Metallica that starts writing about horrors from outer space. My impression is that long after I’ve moved on to another passing phase I’ll retain a fondness for their instrumentals, all five of the main ones are excellent.   ...And Justice for All just isn’t as good as the previous two. This is becoming less about Metallica and more a tribute to Cliff Burton, but fact is -- his phenomenal bass lines are the secret sauce, and in the absence of Burton (and apparently due to Ulrich’s hearing loss?) the bass is often lost in the mix. It still wails, though relying more on arpeggios and prog-y tempo changes and layered arrangements -- with ‘loud’ as the governing principle in the mix, the instruments all have a bit of a unnatural synthetic quality, the effect is much more processed than the earlier albums and it occasionally sounds like a flat wall of sound... which is about to become a theme, oh boy. Though it does convincingly sound like a mutant off-shoot of the Ride the Lightning/Master of Puppets aesthetic, just a shaggier and excessive cousin prone to wild mood swings. Seven of the nine tracks are at least six and a half minutes long. At 9:48, ‘To Live is to Die’ is the first song in the catalogue that I would consider straight tedious (Though the title track is about the same length and it’s quite good!) At the end of the album, ‘Dyers Eve’ appears as a great redeemer, probably the best expression of what they were trying to do here. Oh yeah -- ‘One.’ Honestly it gets there. It’s a very pretty song. I think what I don’t like about the ballads is Hetfield’s voice when he’s singing (as opposed to when he’s growling, yelling, barking) may as well be someone trying to do a Brad Roberts impression. Though maybe that’s not the issue, I always enjoy The Crash Test Dummies. Metallica/Black Album. I don’t like this. Or, I don’t like it very much but I recognize it’s pretty good. Definitely has its moments (’Of Wolf and Man,’ ‘Through the Never.’) Seems like an odd stumbling block. This was a massive hit. ‘Enter Sandman’ is a classic rock song. Of sorts. It ain’t thrash, though it’s definitely still a heavy metal album in the vein of Black Sabbath and the like. Reading about the composition I understand they were tired of what they had been doing, they felt like impostors and wanted to strip it back some, and in that sense it’s an accomplishment. It’s dark and heavy and somber and pretty sad in parts. I feel like if Metallica had collapsed into the sea and never been found afterward/gone their separate ways this would’ve been an interesting finale, but as it stands, through the lens of history I have to reckon with the fact that this is the first of four albums produced by Bob Rock and it’s easily the best of them. It’s going to get worse before it gets... less worse. Which is not to say I don’t appreciate the orchestra and the cellos and a bit more variation in the compositions but... whither Thrash? ‘Holier Than Thou,’ silly as it is, captures a bit of the lost spirit, Maybe it’s exhausting to be that band for too long. It’s a perfectly natural thing to want to progress and not make the same album over and over again, but I can’t help but feel like they abandoned their perch atop a style where they were the greatest of all time to be (at first) a pretty good metal band and then a ‘hard rock’ band. This is Jordan switching to baseball and then for some reason trying ice hockey. I’m reasonably sure ‘Nothing Else Matters’ sucks pretty viciously, though Metallica writing a love song has a conceptual appeal and I could understand people liking it. Load. Gosh, what an appropriate title. I think if you asked Chad Kroeger what his favourite Metallica album is, he’d absolutely say Load. Metallica skipped over grunge and went straight to post-grunge. It’s also so long! There’s so much of this very mediocre album.  Reload. What the fuck is this. It starts off with the Soundgardenesque (well, Rusty Cage-esque) ‘Fuel’ with its fun but asinine chorus, it doesn’t do anything particularly interesting after. Just like its sibling, it’s almost eighty minutes long of sluggish, middle of the road 90s rock.  Garage, Inc is amazing by comparison to anything else put out by Metallica in the 90s. Two discs, the second compiling covers from as far back as 1984, 1987′s Garage Days EP and the b-side to some awful Load song that’s just four Mötörhead covers. ‘Whiskey in the Jar,’ of course, but also ‘Am I Evil?’ Sabbath’s ‘Sabbra Cadabra’ and an exuberant cover of Queen’s ‘Stone Cold Crazy.’ It’s not solid gold but there’s a lot of stuff to like. S&M (Symphony and Metallica, but... you know.) Definitely has it moments, particularly with the older stuff -- ‘Call of Ktulu,’ ‘Master of Puppets,’ ‘The Thing That Should Never Be’ with symphonic accompaniment is very cool.   St. Anger is the big ‘comeback’ album that came out when I was 15 and thus acutely aware of big music releases. I feel like I could’ve skipped the opening paragraphs of this essay and just written that as explanation of why I didn’t care about Metallica. I’m sure there was some good heavy metal happening around the turn of the century but at the time this was happening, Limp Bizkit, Saliva, Staind, Kid Rock, Godsmack, Sevendust, Slipknot, Drowning Pool, Korn, Trapt and Linkin Park (probably the best of the bunch? right?) were the biggest things in metal. Hence, in 2003 we are gifted... Nu Metallica. The title track is very bad. There are no guitar solos to be found. There aren’t any ballads to be found (that’s mostly fine.) I’ve done three tracks. I’m not listening to the rest of this. It’s just not worth it. Death Magnetic was a big surprise as a I soldiered on. Bob Rock is gone, Rick Rubin is in. Say what you will about Rubin (another time, perhaps) but for whatever reason, after a twenty year hiatus (1988-2008,) the thrash is back. I was beginning to grapple with the idea that Metallica had been past their prime my entire life, and while that’s still probably true, here they are at least dabbling with the style that made them such a big damned deal. Which is not to say this is an amazing album. It’s good though! But you can hear, even on the opening track, how exceedingly compressed the sound is. Everything is loud on this album! Without exception! All the time! It’s all peak! Consequently it’s a tiring thing to listen to all the way through. Apparently there are different versions available that turn down the mix a bit, but the Spotify version is evidently the original, as it is just a brutal onslaught of noise. It���s not a great album to sit through, but individual tracks are welcome. There’s even an instrumental for the first time since ...And Justice For All. Lulu (with Lou Reed) -- Laugh all you want, I don’t think this is as bad as Load and Reload. It’s really god damned weird, sure, and it’s not ‘good’ by any conception of (what is ‘the good,’ etc) but it’s at least interesting here and there.  Hardwired... to Self-Destruct suggests a certain inevitability to the path. With or without the play-acting in the 90s (Hetfield has speculated that Ulrich and Hammett were interested in being a U2-sized band complete with the frivolous and monolithic pretensions) they might have ended up here anyway, a bunch of dudes in their 50s making a heavy metal record that is doomed to be nowhere near as vital and electrifying as the groundbreaking stuff of their youth, but is practiced, professional and what the fans have come to expect. It’s pretty good, but there’s no chance it’s their best work. Read a review that called it their best work in 25 years, which is... damning with faint praise, but definitely true. Anyway they’re in the zone. ‘Moth Into Flame’ is a pretty good example of what we’re dealing with here -- thesis, antithesis, synthesis, in this case, arriving at ‘generic Metallica.’ If there’s more Metallica on the way it’ll be pretty much like this, chugging along like Springsteen or the Rolling Stones. It seems super unlikely they’ll ever surpass their first five albums, but I think that’s true of just about every band ever.  In conclusion, I’m not doing this same process for Megadeth. :P

[fipindustries]

THERE IS A CRACK IN THE WORLD: afterthought.

           So there we go, my first, full novel, entirely written in English. I did it.

There is a crack in the world originated from three or four very basic seeds, eventually many others were incorporated, so many so granular that I wouldn’t be able to keep track of them all, but the basic ideas and characters have easy to track roots.

           The three sisters were the first thing I came up with, way, way back in 2012/2013 and from the sisters the first one I came up with was Telescopica. Yes, that’s right, Telescopica was the first character from this story I invented and she was based on the design of the main character from the tv show Fringe, if you want to know how she would look IRL, she is basically a hardcore version of Anna Torv. Later came Harmonica and she was based on Martha Wayne in the short batman story made for the flashpoint event where Martha was the joker. The common thread between both of them (and what ultimately decided they would be together in the same story) was the fact that they both were female characters I didn’t often see back then and that I thus wanted to tackle. One, the stoic professional hero, the badass, not in the rough and tough Michelle Rodriguez kind of way, but more of the slick professional John Wick kind, I basically wanted to write r63!agent-47. The other was female joker, which is a far different beast than Harley Quinn, I didn’t want the cutesy, quirky, lol I’m so evil that can be redeemed by the right dick, or worse, misconstrued as an anti-hero. I wanted a truly detestable and threatening maniac, I wanted someone off-putting, someone people could truly hate. I’m not entirely sure I succeeded in this last regard.

          I had these designs and ideas for characters yet nothing concrete at the time, but then I read one book: the gunslinger, the first book in the dark tower saga, and boom. I had my idea for a premise. One chases the other on a dystopian world, simple, effective powerful. They are batman and the joker, they are Javert and Valjean, they are Tom and Jerry, but more than all of that, they were sisters. I think this vision I had of them (and of the world they inhabited) really solidified itself when I saw for the first time the trailer for Bioshock infinite, the one with the “Beast” song from Nico Vega. The thing about that song is that it came in two versions, an acoustic one and an electric one, and the relation between both versions reflects pretty well the relation between both sisters. One is calm and introspective, the other is chaotic and loud, yet they are both the same degree of fucked up. They are about the beast of America and how we are not going down like this. Give them a listen and pretend they are both sung by their respective characters.

           But that was not enough; I had a layout for the basic premise, right? One chases the other in a dystopian world, but what happens during the chase? Why is one chasing the other? How did the chase start, and more importantly, how will it end? I didn’t have answers for this, all I had was a shitty, unfinished comic (that would later be cannibalized and turned into chapter one of this story) that I couldn’t finish because back then I hadn’t figured out yet what kind of paper to use for proper inking. Hell, I didn’t even have names for them! And then, as always, math was the answer.

           I was doing Calculus II in college (and failing at it pretty hard) and we were studying numerical series, about their formulas and about how to tell when they diverged and when they converged. And so I came across a few really cool words: the telescopic series, the harmonic series and the geometric series. OBVIOUSLY I had to use them as names. But see, these are three words, and I only had two characters, so the next logical step was to come up with a third one. And this character was going to be even cooler than the other two because this one was going to be the mysterious one, this was going to be the white ranger, as it where, this was going to be Jacob from LOST, this was going to be that one character that was constantly going to be alluded to but always kept in the shadows until the very end, and once revealed the character was going to remain aloof and strange. And her name was going to be Geometrica, the oldest sister.

          Originally Geometrica was supposed to be “good”, in as much as she wasn’t going to be a psychopathic manipulator. She was supposed to be the Zen one, not evil like Harmonica, nor as obsessed as Telescopica. She was the middle ground. The calm one, the one who was supposed to be above it all. But then I started watching Hannibal.

           Now my big problem with Hannibal is that season two, and SPECIALLY any scene with Gillian Anderson, is a fucking slog, they are slow and dull and boring, so much so that whenever her scenes came I would have to create my own gore since the show wasn’t giving me none at the time and so I drew, because of course. This is a thing I’m not sure if other artist do, that is drawing while watching tv because what is on the screen is just so goddamn boring (I would do this as well with doctor who, daredevil and true detective) but the thing is that while watching Hannibal I would draw, and particularly I drew Geometrica. First she was cutting her own arm, and then using it to beat someone to death. Once I finished this particular drawing I asked myself who could she be beating and the answer came instantly: Harmonica, because obviously the most Zen character in reality turned out to be the most fucked up one! That’s just a no brainer. And then my imagination fired up and chapter 17 was created. And that was when I knew for sure that someday, somehow, I would have to write the whole story.

           To this day, chapter 17, and particularly it’s final scene, is my favourite thing I have ever came up with, as a scene, as a concept, as a story beat and a reveal and the only reason I made it this far was because of how desperate I was to make that scene real. I came up with it in 2014 and three years later here we are, the dream came true.

           Now this is all fine and good, but none of this is what actually made me sit down and put the actual words on the paper, I had chapter one and chapter seventeen, but what about everything that was supposed to happen in the middle? All of this was simmering in my head but it wasn’t actually boiling. The steam pressure, as it were, was not moving any locomotives as of yet. And I could tell you a thousand more stories about how The Foremost was originally supposed to be a female version of the nazi guy in inglorious bastards, or how his and Karachay’s current design came from the character Shades in Luke Cage, or about how once I came up with the names Chernobyl, Karachay and Tzar I realized they were a perfect reflection of Harmonica, Telescopica and Geometrica and thus they had to exist in the same universe, or how I’m not sure where the character of the emperor came from but I’m convinced Warhammer 40K and Twig had something to do with it. I could tell you all this and more but instead I’m going to tell you about the story that finally made me take stock of my life, of my choices, and decide it was time, that the ideas had been stewing in my head for long enough and it was time for execution. Weirdly enough, the story that did that was The Northern Caves. Even more weird was that it was the second read of the northern caves what did it.

           I’ll say it right here, There is a crack in the world was me reacting to the psychological horror that TNC, and indeed many other stories like it such as cordyceps or the hell sections in Unsong, caused in me. A horror intensified by the mental problems I had been dealing with during most of 2016. But the thing was that ever since I moved to a new city and started looking for a job most of that horror had been replaced with much more grounded concerns. Instead of having the shakes because of existential, metaphysical uncertainty, I was getting the shakes due to economic and housing struggles. I realized that normal, everyday problems were the perfect antidote to counteract existentialism, and so those were the problems I decided to plague my story with. Lack of food, poor shelter, contaminated water, rampant crime, earthly, lower class concerns, those are the horrors within There is a crack in the world, as opposed to a children’s book writer making some book that apparently made people go insane. And then I decided not to stop there, another common thread in many of these stories was that there would be this mystery to the world, this unfathomable puzzle, filled with complicated plots, intricate lore and abstruse complexities which were begging for a plucky protagonist to be smart enough to solve it all. So I decided to make the lore in my story absurdly simple and yet completely impossible to solve no matter how clever or intelligent or rational you were: There is a crack in the world. That’s it, nothing can be done about it.

And then came the final touch, the characters. The final thing that I saw in a lot of what for lack of a better word I’m going to call “rational fiction”, an umbrella term under which I liberally group works such as HPMOR, Worm, After the hero, Unsong, The northern caves, etc was that in every instance the protagonist would be some form of bleeding heart. Someone who would be painfully hyperaware of the pain and suffering that happened all around the world and would desperately try to find the way to fix it all, to understand it, to make sense of it all. So my story would have none of that. I made Telescopica and Chernobyl to be as indifferent and callous as I could and as the story advances they slowly start to consider that maybe they can do something to help, that maybe they can try and make the world a better place, and then I prove how incredibly foolish they were for ever thinking that.

Not gonna lie, the story is filled with self indulgent bitterness and misery, and a lot of it is me getting carried away and probably venting some of the negative emotions I had accumulated all throughout 2016. If I want to be uncharitable with myself I would say that some of that bitterness came from me reading those stories I just mentioned and feeling inadequate knowing that I would never be smart enough to write anything like it (I’m a deeply insecure person, in case you haven’t noticed). But also, for whatever reason, halfway through the story I decided “fuck it, I’m just going to write some misery porn”, I started challenging myself to see how horrid I could go, what horrors I could concoct if I well and truly tried. Yet the thing is that I feel I never really went all out on it. I like to think that, as dreadful as the story could get at times, it was never truly absurd, never profane, I could be wrong though. There is an essay talking about this in way better detail than I ever could so just go read it.

           I published there is a crack in the world as I wrote it, which means I challenged myself not to go back and edit something in the previous chapter for the sake of convenience or to establish something I might need for later chapters. I forced my self to compromise and work only with what I had previously established in the story. This fostered an interesting practice where I would start to throw foreshadowing and small meaningless data all over the place which could be easily ignored or forgotten but that I could also go back to and expand into something more on the long run if I needed to pull something out of thin air for the plot. That is the way characters like Hector or Maurice or things like commando living on an abandoned military base ended up becoming a thing in the story, grown from just throwaway characters and trivia that I thought nothing of when I first put them in the page. The biggest example would be the kosmonavt, I had no idea what I was going to do with him by the end of the story but I knew an astronaut was a useful thing to have so I put him there in his own chapter, just in case.

           Another consequence of this was that, as the story progressed and I got a better grasp of the world, of the actual real consequences of having a crack in the world, of the actual sociopolitical organization the empire would have I realized I fucked up. A lot of the lore doesn’t really add up, there are details which are poorly thought out or scientifically incorrect. And if I decided to start introducing all of that it wouldn’t just interfere with what had been previously established in the chapters that I had already published but it would also interfere with where I wanted the story to go, with what I wanted to do with the characters and with my dear, precious chapter 17. All of this meant I had to foregone a lot of neat realism and worldbuilding that could have made it into the story if I had taken some time to think things through before starting putting chapters online, but the thing is that if I hadn’t put those chapters online then chances are I would have never been  motivated to write the rest of the story. Hopefully I’ll allow myself to develop whatever new story I come up with next in more organic ways, not being afraid to kill my darlings in order to let it grow naturally. We’ll see.

           Final thoughts: I’m actually really proud of this story, whatever its origins or the emotional fuel was behind it, whatever gross scientific mistakes I made in there, whatever edits I would like to perform to make it a stronger, more coherent whole, I truly believe is the best story I have written thus far and that is achievement enough for me, I know people had been reading it and even enjoying it according to AO3, not sure how many but more than zero is enough, I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope you have thoughts and comments about it that you might want to share with me.

           Whatever the case might be, it’s been three months and a little more that I worked on this and it’s been a great learning experience. See you in my next work.

[soundsandnoises]

Young Guns with Beyond Recall and Holding Absence. 21 - 26 September 2017 UK tour: Southampton, London, Birmingham, Glasgow, Manchester and Cardiff

I guess I should be awfully sad that Young Guns’ tour have come to an end, especially that it was amazing and I didn’t really want it to end [because that means facing grey reality]. But because it was filled with so many fantastic moments [and some less fantastic to keep the balance in the world] I’d rather get this warm, fuzzy sensation. And then big smile appears on my face whenever memories pop up here and there and I remind myself all the precious whiles.

From the intimacy and fragility of sorts of acoustic sets that mixed with hilarious and quite often most random banters and one-liners: from saying “hello” [’What’s up dudes and dudettes!’ - John] to a goodbye on the last night of the tour [’I’m giving hugs, anyone who wants a hug come over’ - John again]. And a promise of new material, more tangible than words: demos soaking through PA’s each afternoon after matinee’s acoustic set. A sneak peak behind the curtain. Oh, and a solid plan for new release. Most of all: not rushed and then the idea about the way and the form of new music.

ACOUSTIC MATINEE SHOWS

It was a little bit of awkward, a bit intimidating, absolutely lovely and full of warmness. Stripped down versions captivated with its beauty (’I Want Out’), were like breath of a fresh air, an aid (’Daylight’). Emotional and intimate moments cementing the bond between band and their fans.

Special - with demos unveiled before they become full bodied singles. Interrupted conversations, thank yous, words whispered with gratitude, laughter and silence. Questions, feedback. But rushed and nearly like an automated machine taking photos, grabbing posters and moving on as well. Good, bad and grey between.

THE MAIN EVENT

The temperature and the pace were established with the first support band: Beyond Recall. 

Hands down. These guys know how to stir the crowd (literally, starting their show with singer ascending/submerging into the crowd) and keep it moving. Singer was dripping with inexhaustible energy, spitting words like bullets, roar of the guitar kept people on their toes and mad, loud drums enchanted the audience like Pied Piper and dictated the jumping, bouncing and dancing. With absolutely brilliant cover of Flo Rida’s ‘Low’ they won hearts of people gathered in Engine Rooms and loud cheer rolled through the venue. 

Boys from Beyond Recall received another big round of applause when they spoke about the anti-bullying  campaign they’ve started and that they’ve visited schools, listened and talked to teens to fight bullying and raising suicide rates.

More about Bristol’s trio Beyond Recall here. 

You can buy their newest EP ‘Selfish Scars’ here.

Second support band created totally different vibe even though the tunes stayed heavy and loaded with emotions. Holding Absence were not holding back and took the audience for a wild ride with their pace shifting songs. Soaring and tearful vocals accompanied by apparent chaos of instruments were bond in quite unique whole. 

From delicate beginning though absolute wall of noise Cardiff rockers released inner animals onstage and the audience was part of an interesting ritual, so everyone was able to unleash all the bad emotions through the songs and be free of them. At times maybe too heavy or too erratic seemed to confuse the crowd a bit but in the end the applause and appreciation was all there.

More about Holding Absence here.

Listen to their new single ‘Heaven Knows’ here.

SOUTHAMPTON. ENGINE ROOMS.

The first show. Technically the one that is expected to go at least slightly wrong, because each side: band and audience are examining the boundaries, learning each other all over again, getting used to each other. And technical difficulties are more than expected. But not this time. There was no second for hesitation. No time for quiet. The crowd - like a hungry monster was devouring each note, tune, sound and word coming from the stage to return the favour in mighty singalongs, mad and almost uncontrollable crowdsurfing and devoted eagerness. It was ‘Let’s do this shit!’ attitude from the start to the moment when lights were turned on and security started to clear the floor.

LONDON. STUDENT CENTRAL.

Hometown show was a bit too polite and tamed. It seemed like people were afraid to lose themselves to the sound of their favourite songs. And all you wanted to scream at them was: your make up will not last anyway and we all will leave this place sweaty and stinky, because it’s a rock show.

Glows sticks didn’t really work out and you can barely notice them on the official photo taken that night. But the singalongs, especially ‘Daylight’ were strong and beautiful. You could see how happy YG were hearing such heartfelt response.

BIRMINGHAM. THE ASYLUM.

With the after-party’s ghost hanging over audience’s heads you’d expect a tiny bit more ‘wow!’ and loads of rumble in the crowd, but it seemed people were again nice not really naughty and only got animated for a little while after Gus requested crowdsurfing. Don’t get me wrong - people were participating all right, singing, dancing, jumping was all there but nothing beyond a regular behaviour (you know like crazy crowdsurfing from all the directions). You just expect a little bit more from fans who waited quite some time to see YG live. Still people knew the words, sang their lungs out. All fine and dandy but not as edgy as you’d think Birmingham can be.

GLASGOW. THE GARAGE

Marking half of the tour show in Glasgow was another good one (but nothing above the average though). It was fine with singing, enjoying the night and having fun, but it was a little bit odd after another rushed meet & greet. Maybe I didn’t leave drenched in sweat (mine and others), but it was absolute pleasure to see Young Guns rock the stage, cover Foo Fighters and sing each word with purest joy.

Unfortunately due early curfew some of the songs didn’t make it to the seltist (the same happened in Birmingham). It was an early night to be fair, cause the show was done by 10.30 p.m. (even earlier I think), because of the club night starting at 11p.m..

MANCHESTER. CLUB ACADEMY

Or rather Madchester... The vibe was back on and at its finest. Power was on our side, singing mighty and on point. There was nothing more important than living in the moment and squeezing the best out of the night. Crowdsurfing switch on - obviously. Mosh pit? Sure, let’s do it on ‘Daylight’! Taking no prisoners the crowd reminded Young Guns that Manchester surely knows how to party. The crowd was loud, hungry and ready to follow Gus’ commands and singing ‘ooos’ on top of the lungs.

It deserved some celebratory drinks after and drinks were poured. And I could blame tequila for nearly missing a bus to Cardiff the next day.

CARDIFF. THE GLOBE

Apparently the smallest of all venues on that tour was packed quickly. The absence of barrier between the front row and the stage gave me uneasy feeling but eventually crowd was rather civil so no one really landed onstage pushed by zealous crowd. Tamed in moves people gathered in the venue didn’t disappoint in singing and ‘I Want Out’, ‘Bones’, ‘Living In a Dream Is So Easy’ and ‘Daylight’ echoed throughout the venue.

The setlist was incredibly well put together - Young Guns reached to all their releases to make extremely energetic compilation. With songs that haven’t been played for a long long time (’At The Gates’) and ultimate favourite ones (’Bones’) and their best pop anthems (’Rising Up’, ‘I Want Out’) it was a jackpot. 

Setlist:

IN THE NIGHT

RISING UP

WEIGHT OF THE WORLD

STITCHES

DEARLY DEPARTED

I WAS BORN, I HAVE LIVED, I WILL SURELY DIE

A HYMN FOR ALL I’VE LOST

MY HERO (FOO FIGHTERS’ cover)

LIVING IN A DREAM IS SO EASY

AT THE GATES

BURIED

BULLETPROOF

ECHOES

Encore:

BONES

DAYLIGHT

I WANT OUT

Acoustic set:

WEIGHT OF THE WORLD

BONES

DAYLIGHT

ECHOES

I WANT OUT

This tour shows that Young Guns are definitely not done. They are ready to conquer and explore... and make new memories with their fans. 

They are working on new music, with 17-18 songs written they are focusing on having great material which they’re planning to present at the beginning of next year.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 5.12.2007 & 5.13.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and this week ten years ago

5.12.2007

6) "I'll Stand by You," Carrie Underwood

I completely understand why so many people bought this. I don't think my life was improved by having heard this? But, y'know, it wasn't as melodramatic as I was expecting, maybe I picked the wrong video but it's just a nice well-sung acoustic cover of a song which I'm sure was construed as inspirational for the Idol Gives Back thing (and remembering that this was Idol Gives Back this week, yup, mm-hmm, definitely watched the wrong video), I'm glad there wasn't a thousand things happening, but like 2007 is supposed to provide a nostalgic rush, either consider a song we all knew and loved/hated back in the day or uncover a classic, and listening to this is just... Unnecessary?

8) "Never Again," Kelly Clarkson

The first line of this song is, "I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green," which is a hell of a thing to say. One can assess all the reasons why this is the only Kelly Clarkson single to chart in 2007 -- hey remember ten years ago when a record label could win a PR battle with a female artist seeking creative autonomy? Good times! -- but honestly, there's nothing wrong with this song on its own, this is a pretty superb, dark-as-hell break-up song, but it's also the sixth or seventh consecutive Kelly Clarkson breakup song? Like, her discography to this point is "A Moment Like This" and then a shitload of break-up songs, some anthemic, some mournful, and while I get why they would be sick of Kelly Clarkson break-up songs -- worth noting her next big hit was “My Life Would Suck Without You” -- if the 2007 public wasn't willing to hear the dark version of the kind of song Kelly Clarkson does extremely well, that's on them. This song is rad, and while I'm probably not gonna go back and listen to My December, I'm figuring that album is prolly a jam.

28) "Icky Thump," The White Stripes

...Do I have to like this song? I get that I agree with it, and I get that The White Stripes area thing people who like music tend to like, and this is the most I ever enjoyed The White Stripes' whole, y'know, thing (this and “My Doorbell”), but I don’t want to like this song. It’s just, I dunno, Jack White’s this whole person, and I don’t like engaging with that person?

56) "Up to the Mountain," Kelly Clarkson ft./Jeff Beck

yes just like the carrie underwood thing this was a very good american idol performance and like i wanna be snarkier but last week 2007 handed me seven country dude songs and, just, i would take a thousand american idol performances before another week with that many country dudes. given the alternative, this is the greatest thing i could have ever possibly heard.

65) "Signal Fire," Snow Patrol

So like, I graduated high school in 2007, right? That's kind of the connection to these songs, like, these songs would have been the soundtrack to my high school experience if I had friends who listened to pop and/or rap radio. (Hence all the buttrock appreciation in these posts. Like, real talk, Shinedown is a terrible band to which I have such a profound nostalgic connection that I routinely have to rewatch their videos just to be 100% sure that particular Southern rock band doesn't have any Confederate flags in them.) So there's a 10-year reunion coming up which I'm probably not going to go to, but like imagine a 10-year high school reunion. You see your friends. You love your friends! You are all very successful and beautiful! You see the people you hated. You greatly enjoy how fat they got and cheated on they were! You go to the punch bowl for some delicious, fruity punch, and you see the person that sat behind you in chemistry. They seem OK. You mention the crazy weather you've been having recently, and they agree, the weather is crazy. This song is that social interaction. It's a nice Braffcore song that I wasn't thinking about then and am not presently thinking about now.

78) "You Raise Me Up," Josh Groban & The African Children's Choir

...Yeah, so like, no? Thank you! But, no, I'mma sit this one out. I understand that we want different things out of life. I will not get in the way of this song's goals, and I will not invite it to impede mine. But thank you so much for bringing this to me!

84) "If I Was Your Man," Joe

I refuse to actively engage with this song on the grounds that even coming up with this angle for a capsule review required more thought and effort than was put into the writing and recording of this song. This is a middle slider in song form. They couldn't even be bothered to give this artist a name. "Joe." Joe doesn't even stand for anything, he's just a fucking guy named Joe who wants to date someone and enjoy all the attendant benefits. Sometimes, you hear a song, and you're taken to an amazing world or shown a new aspect of life or filled with the inspiration needed to tackle the day's problems, and this song is like, "Meet Joe! Joe's a dude who has a crush on someone," and Joe doesn't say anything or even wave his hand to acknowledge you. He just sits there, moving nothing.

93) "I Don't Need a Man," The Pussycat Dolls

"I don't need a hand if it only wants to grab one thing." In addition to the world, the 2016 presidential election also ruined my ability to enjoy a 10-year-old Pussycat Dolls song. Also, Kara DioGuardi. It makes sense that Kara DioGuardi and Donald Trump would describe the female anatomy in equally clumsy ways. Maybe there was no way for Kara DioGuardi to know that, ten years after this song was published, the term "grab" could reference something other than the ass when used in reference to a woman's body, but she's bad and this song is trash so I'm definitely going to hold it against her.

99) "Sexy Lady," Yung Berg ft./Junior

...I am going to applaud this song for having the audacity of using a "Diamonds Are Forever" sample. Like, Kanye doesn't own the rights to the song, and it's a completely different beat, but it's still kinda weird to turn on a song and say, "Oh, hey, someone used that song as a sample in a song I like a lot more!" And like how are you going to use the "Diamonds Are Forever" sample on a song that isn't about diamonds at all? The song doesn't mention jewely of any kind. Like, I don't know, maybe Yung Berg has always been famously anti-consumerism and I just never bothered learning that about him, but if you're a pop/rap artist in 2007, and you're going to take a sample from an iconic song about material goods, hey, I'm not a songwriter, but maybe write verses about material goods? This is as weird as a song can be without having an ounce of originality.

100) "Wipe Me Down," Lil Boosie ft./Foxx & Webbie

One weird thing about 2007 songs is, so like, when I listen to a song with, say, Lil Yachty on the track, I hear every single disgusting thing Lil Yachty has to say about the things he wants to do to a woman, and which parts of the woman he would prefer to do them to. And then you listen to a 2007 track, and there'll be half a verse missing because the record label was scared that their video would be deleted from the internet if they said the n-word. Apart from the unnecessary censorship, I dunno, this was kind of the standard Southern-pop/rap song. Repetitive to the point you just give in and enjoy it, not really about anything in particular, just annoying enough to be memorable but not annoying enough to be appreciated ironically. There were always gonna be dry spells. 2007 is very much in one, Kelly Clarkson notwithstanding.

The Top 20! With infinitely more Kelly Clarkson than ever before! 20) "When I See U," by Fantasia (4.21.2007) 19) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 18) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 17) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 16) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.14.2007) 15) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 14) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 13) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 12) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 11) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 10) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 9) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) Alright. 2007 had a bad week. 2017 didn’t fuck up Kendrick week. Is it gonna fuck up Paramore week?

5.13.2017

44) "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back," by Shawn Mendes

So before I even listen to a single note, the inconsistency of the title's abbreviations has me peeved. Why would you abbreviate one word but not the other? Is one g much more special than the other? Does Shawn Mendes pronounce the g in nothing, but not the g in holding? Because I've heard Shawn Mendes sing, I'd be surprised if he hits the "th" and the "ld" in those words. /// You know what? I'll give it a "not as bad as the title." I don't come away from this song having made any new conclusions about the world or Shawn Mendes as a person, so I can't really argue that this was worth the three minutes of my life it took, but it's not Joe-level nothing, so hey! It has that going for it!

64) "Lust for Life," by Lana del Rey ft./The Weeknd

I'm not here to make a judgement call about the modern adolescent experience in relation to the one I went through. I think this song is fine, it's actually kind of great in a way I'm not gonna bother to place, but I think that it's worth noting that the modern teen's "Hot in Herre" is this. There's a lot of value in a sad song with the "take off all your clothes" refrain, again I dug this, but I didn't dig it enough to try to figure out why that might be, because I'm just thinking about what a jam "Hot in Herre" is and how I think I've heard like maybe two great party jams over the course of this project. We had "Run Up," you guys. The teens don't want to party. And, I mean, why should they, it's rough out there, maybe they deserve to just shrug when they see their boyfriend approach and say, "Huh, he got a little cooler. Le sigh."

68) "Attention," by Charlie Puth

Not gonna lie: when I saw that Shawn Mendes and this dude were on the ledger for this week, I thought the milquetoast white boy army was gonna ruin this W for Paramore. I thought the weight these two idiots would add to 2017 would give the W to a week in 2007 with a Kara DioGuardi joint. But just like the Shawn Mendes song, this was acceptable! In fact: I would give this a B-! It's not as drastic a zag as when Ed Sheeran dropped "Sing," but this is reasonably funkier, a degree of funk which I never would have thought Charlie Puth capable of achieving. I think this song might be his ceiling, I can't imagine having as good a time with Charlie Puth as I did with him here (especially now that the element of surprise won't be in play), but, y'know, solid three and a half minutes. Not the worst!

87) "do re mi," by blackbear

Ah, so THIS is where we were keeping the unexceptional white boy! I knew he had to be hiding somewhere! This is the song you write you have completely purged your life of everyone who told you that you weren't clever. This is the song you write after having no one around to tell you that the fact of a curse word isn't edgy on its own. "Do re mi fa so fuckin' done wit' ya" is a garbage line because the shock is being solely derived from the use of the f-word, and that can only get ya so many times; by the time he repeats it for the sixth time, you'll think it's do re mi fa so lame he couldn't think of anything cooler to do with the conceit than recite the scale then swear. You're a songWRITER, dude! You tellin' me you could only think of one pun based on the scale? OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN AIN'T GOT THE MONOPOLY ON SCALE-BASED PUNS, YA KNOW. SO MANY OTHER WORDS BEGIN WITH FA. TRY HARDER.

90) "Hard Times," by Paramore

gosh this song fucking rules. y'all mind if i'm just a boy writing a diary for a second? because this is a song about me. i'm someone with a defeatist attitude, i'm the exact sort of person who meets hard times by giving up, and that's what this song is, it's a song about giving in and feeling defeated. they're not looking back on low points in their life and saying, "gosh, can you believe we made it?" they're sinking deeper and deeper still into a depression and saying "how the fuck do we survive," and that's such a beautiful sentiment, especially in the trump era, where i'm sure a lot of us are still shellshocked and feel the task is too tall. but they're putting this happy, energetic face on it, this song is this bouncy uptempo jam about being incredibly depressed, because it's easier to pretend you don't need help than it is to ask. i love this song. i don't care if it falls off the chart next week, it's the new #1.

93) "My Girl," by Dylan Scott

...I think I'm just feeling generous today. I'm willing to give this a "didn't mind it." Am I amazed that they just keep finding new dudes to make this exact country song? Yeah. But, it's like the Shawn Mendes song, there just isn't enough in here for me to react negatively to. The Eminem reference is probably the most exotic shoutout in country music going, and especially refreshing because I'm still angry at "Johnny Cash" from last week, and the dude has the bass country voice going, he has that earth-shaking twang instead of that nasal fuckboy twang a lot of these dudes got going on. It wasn't as engaging as that "Hurricane" thing from a couple months ago, so I'm still gonna call it bro country, but this is probably the least I'll ever mind bro country. Congratulations, Dylan Scott! Of all the bro country chucklefucks, you have emerged as the least chucklefucky!

Top 20! Only one new entry! It’s an important one. 20) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 19) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 18) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 17) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 16) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 15) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 14) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 13) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 12) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 9) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 8) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) May you last longer than “Run Up,” “Hard Times.” 

Who won?

2017. Neither had a great week, apart from one exceptional song from both sides. “Hard Times” is simply better than “Never Again,” is what it comes down to. And now: 2017 has the lead for the year! 2017: 4 2007: 3 Looking into the future, 2007 has four songs. 2017 will be entering “Young and Menace” probably. ...I already don’t like next week.