#I went to Noah Kahan last weekend

[lovethatlaiduslow]

DOES IT BITE AT YOUR EDGES?? DO YOU LIKE AWAKE RESTLESS?? WHY AM I SO OBSESSIVE HANGIN ONTO EVERY SENTENCE??? THIS TOOOWN’S THE SAME AS YOU LEFT IT YOUR PAGE WAS BLANK BUT I READ IT I STILL DIAL 822-993-167!!!!!!!!

[keerysfreckles]

stick season — OB38 (smau)

pairing: ollie bearman x leclerc!singer!reader

summary: ollie slowly falls for charles' younger sister

warnings: google translated french

a/n: i need to give ollie the biggest hug and put him in my pocket

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

y/nleclerc just posted !

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y/nleclerc my new cover of "all my love" by noah kahan is out now !! available on youtube and spotify :)🤍

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user1 been waiting for a noah cover FOREVER 🤩

user2 she is the moment !

user3 charles being supportive in the youtube comment section i need a minute 😖

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️❤️

user4 olivia song next plz!!!

charles_leclerc beautiful as always mon ours (my bear)

y/nleclerc learned from the best 😙

user5 charles calling her his bear cause theyre her fav animal I CANT DO THIS

user6 ollie being in the likes????

user7 pls they've been best friends for like ever calm down 😭😭

y/nleclerc just posted !

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y/nleclerc me and b-man went to the paddock this weekend ‼️‼️ charles_leclerc olliebearman

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user1 oh i know this trio caused some chaos

user2 more ferrari polaroid pics when?!

scuderiaferrari loved having you back y/n ❤️

y/nleclerc loved being back :)❤️

user3 the way she calls ollie bman 😭😭

olliebearman never call me b-man again

y/nleclerc no promises 🤗

user4 the trio i never knew i needed in the paddock

user5 i already KNOW y/n has the most silly charles pics

charles_leclerc don't think i didn't see you giggling when ollie was around y/n

y/nleclerc charles not on the main.....

user6 CHARLES EXPOSING Y/N PLSSS

twitter !

imessage !

olliebearman just posted !

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olliebearman wonderful race in my hometown 🇬🇧 stoked to see how next week will go! y/nleclerc

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user1 she went to the race with him 🤭🤭

user2 OOOH OLIVER BEARMAN!!!!!!!!!

y/nleclerc my fav brit 🫶🏻

olliebearman 🫶🏻

user3 they're so 😖😖😖😖😖

user4 podium ollie lives in my head rent free

user5 the way they looked at each other before ollie got into the car :(((

charles_leclerc you would not believe how many texts i got when you got p2

y/nleclerc CHARLES.....

olliebearman how many were there

charles_leclerc 27 😬

user6 charles exposing y/n pt 2

olliebearman just posted !

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olliebearman had to go to miss bear's first ever concert 🤍 y/nleclerc

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user1 he went to BOTH shows 😣

user2 definition of if he wanted to he would

user3 THE CAPTION?????????

user4 MISS. BEAR.

y/nleclerc ily 🥹🥹

olliebearman anything for my bear

user5 HIS BEAR??!?!!!!!?!?!??

user6 so is no one gonna point out the last slide...

user7 possible soft launch???????

charles_leclerc i guess i can share my bear

user8 😭😭😭

y/nleclerc just posted !

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y/nleclerc ❤️‍🩹🐻 olliebearman

comments limited to y/nleclerc's followers

olliebearman i love being your bear

y/nleclerc i love being yours

bffusername RUE?? WHEN WAS THIS????

y/nleclerc 😅😅😅

charles_leclerc no pda in the f1 paddock please

carlossainz55 but they're adorable 😊

y/nleclerc yeah charles we're adorable 🥺

charles_leclerc just posted !

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charles_leclerc mon ours a trouvé la sienne ❤️ y/nleclerc olliebearman

translation my bear found hers

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user1 OH MY GOD????????

user2 the caption :(

olliebearman y/n's been crying over this for a good 5 minutes

charles_leclerc good cry?

olliebearman she keeps switching between french and english, so yes??

carlossainz55 the cutest paddock kids

user3 charles hard launching his sisters relationship is so funny to me

user4 f1 cameraman you know what to do...

y/nleclerc 🥹🥹🥹

user5 been a y/nollie shipper since day one 🤞

[withwritersblock]

Everywhere, Everything

~Everywhere, Everything by Noah Kahan~ Author's Note: this idea has been circulating my mind for weeks, so here you go fam. blah blah blah words italtics are flashbacks Summary: long distance, it's hard lol Warnings: angst, swearing Word Count: 5,221 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

It was usual for her on Friday nights, if Luke was in town, for her to go to his house and spend the weekend with him. That was the plan, she had her duffle bag full to the brim of all of her clothing options and her school work necessities. She walked up the steps to see Ethan and Dylan were sitting on the porch drinking some beers.

“Have you talked to Hughesy yet?” Dylan asked, stopping Y/N in her tracks to spin around to meet his gaze. She shook her head slowly. He nodded while pressing his lips together, “You should-” he trailed off as he brought his drink to his lips again.

She stood still for a few seconds, her duffle bag feeling heavier by the second. Her gaze shifted between the pair of the boys, what were they implying? She took a deep breath as she entered the house. It was empty, but it was usually like that for Friday night. She walked down the hall towards Luke’s room and knocked before she pushed her way inside.

He was throwing random things into a bag when he lifted his gaze, he smiled so wide. “Baby,” he mumbled, dropping the pair of socks he had in his hand into the back. He engulfed her in a hug, savoring the moment. “They called,” he whispered into her ear. 

She felt her chest tighten as she felt her eyes tear up. She pulled away to meet his gaze. His cheeks flushed red as his smile was still wide and bright. His eyes scanned her features. 

“I’m so proud of you, my love,” she whispered, looking deeply into his eyes. He pressed his lips together shyly as he pulled away from her grasp, back towards the bag on the bed. She delicately placed hers on the floor. Clearing her throat, she questioned, “When do you leave?”

“Sunday morning, my flight is at like four in the morning.” he let out while shaking his head, he lifted his gaze towards her. She was nodding slowly, staring at the floor. “I only found out like two hours ago, I wanted to tell you in person,” he mumbled as he took steps towards her once more. 

He took a hold of her arms, scanning her teary features. “We’ll make it work, I will promise you that,” he said, tilting his head to try and maintain eye contact with her. 

She clenched her jaw as she smiled softly. “We’ll have the summer to worry about that,” she whispered as she rested her hand onto his chest. “Let’s just celebrate,” she mumbled.

“Celebrate?” he asked, raising his eyebrows fighting the smirk on his lips. She rolled her eyes playfully as she shoved him backwards slightly. 

“I meant dinner,” she teased before she took a hold of his hand, guiding him out of his room. “And then maybe some of that,” she spun around to meet his gaze, smirking.

“Aw, you’re taking me out to dinner, how sweet,” he teased. She gasped playfully.

“No sir, you’re paying with that big ‘ol NHL contract you’re about to get,” 

~~~

It was Luke’s last morning in Michigan before he was supposed to head to New Jersey for the rest of the season. They were laying in her bed, in her apartment, in silence. Her head rested on his chest as he kept his gaze towards the ceiling. His hand trailed delicately up and down her bare back.

“Are we doing this?” he asked, his voice hoarse. 

It was only a four word question but it held so much value. The entire summer they went back and forth on what would be best. Long distance or breaking up. They’ve been together for almost two years. Two years they didn’t want to throw down the drain because he was moving and living his dream.

But long distance is hard, harder than anyone could suspect when getting involved in a relationship. 

“Yeah,” she let out barely above a whisper as she absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down his chest. “We’re going to be okay,” she mumbled as she lifted her head to meet his eye.

He had a soft smile on his lips as his hand glided up her back, running his fingers through the ends of her hair. “Any time there’s a free weekend and I’m back in Jersey, you tell me and I’ll book your flight. No hesistation,” he mumbled. She nodded.  She leaned towards him, pressing her lips against his delicately. It was soft and intimate.

“Baby,” he mumbled against her lips. She pulled away, her breathing faster than before. She opened her eyes slowly, meeting his gaze. “I-” he started before he took a hold of the back of her neck softly as he pulled her towards him, kissing her urgently. 

Her finger tips grazed his skin, as she delicately took a hold of his chin. “I have to get ready to leave,” he said, pulling away. She kept her eyes shut, before she pecked his lips for a few seconds. She leaned her body away from him, letting him slip away from her. 

She fell onto her back, watching him get dressed before he wandered towards the bathroom. Her eyes shifted towards the ceiling fan, she watched it spin as she felt her eyes tear up. He reappeared after a few seconds, he wandered towards the hat sitting on the end table. He reached towards it.

“Wait,” she mumbled. He met her teary gaze, clenching his jaw. It was a Michigan beanie. It was one of her favorites that he wore. He wore it for the majority of the season last year, swore it was lucky. “Can you leave it?” she let out barely above a whisper. He glanced towards it and back towards her and nodded quickly.

“Of course,” he muttered leaning towards her, kissing her forehead, “I’ll dig into my bag to find a different one,” he smiled softly towards her before he wandered towards the living room. 

She stood up from the bed and began to get dressed in a hoodie and a pair of comfy shorts. He didn’t want her to travel to the airport with him, he was having Dylan drive him. She walked into the living room to see him adjusting the beanie on his head in her circle mirror. She smiled towards him, her heart beating loud and dramatically in her ear. 

He tilted his head to the side as he met her gaze, he felt tears fill his eyes. Suddenly aware of what this means. Her lips fell into a pout as she stepped towards him, he quickly engulfed her in a hug. He took a hold of the back of her head, holding her as close as he possibly could. His watch buzzed, he glanced down to see a text from Dylan.

“Duker’s here,” he mumbled before he pressed his lips to her forehead. She pulled her head away from his chest, scanning his features. He took a hold of her cheeks, rubbing his thumbs against her skin. “I love you,” he mumbled, looking deeply into her eyes. 

“I love you too,” she whispered, her voice cracking. He leaned towards her, kissing her urgently; knowing it’s the last time for months.

He reluctantly pulled away from her, pressing his lips together. He wiped his hand across his eyes, drying the tears. Majority of his stuff was in Jersey already, so he only had his suitcase he packed for the last two weeks in Michigan. He took a hold of it, turning around to look at Y/N. 

She shook her head, “You have to go now,” she mumbled, spinning around to not look at him. He stayed still, “I can’t watch you leave, you-you have to just go,” she said through a sob. He felt his heart shatter, he was going to miss her so much. 

“I love you,” he let out, walking towards the door. He dragged his suitcase behind him, “I’ll call you when I get to Jack’s, show you the apartment,” he explained as he walked towards the door, opening.

“Okay,” she let out.

He looked towards her, taking in a shaky breath before he forced himself out the door. The apartment door shut behind him. He continued down the hallway, letting himself cry. He wasn’t a crier. He rarely cried about anything but right now that’s all he could do. 

It didn’t take long for him to get down and out of the building. Dylan was sitting in his car right in front of the apartment building. Luke opened the trunk of the car and dropped his suitcase inside. He slammed it shut before he walked towards the passenger seat. He fell down into the seat and wiped his eyes once more. 

“Hey man,” Dylan let out as he began driving away from the apartment. 

“Hey, sorry I’m being a-” he trailed off as he shook his head, he wiped his eyes once more while taking a deep breath. 

“Don’t apologize, she’ll be alright. We’ll look out for her. You’ll be alright, you got your brother, and the NHL,” Dylan expressed as he slapped his hand against Luke’s shoulder. Luke nodded as he kept his jaw clenched. 

“Harder than I thought,” he mumbled as he ran his hand across his chin.

Back in Y/N’s apartment, she was sitting on her couch as she watched Friends. Her apartment door was pushed open to reveal her roommate and best friend, Penelope. She dropped her purse onto the counter and quickly moved towards Y/N on the couch. 

Y/N lifted her head to meet Penelope’s gaze. Y/N had been crying, the entire time since Luke left fifteen minutes ago. “I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t watch him walk away,” she mumbled. Penelope pulled her towards her side, comforting her the best she could. 

“But you guys are still together?” she questioned.

“Yeah but I won’t see him for months, I’m not strong enough for this,” Y/N cried out. 

“Yes, yes you are, you two are meant to be,” Penelope mumbled as she stroked Y/N’s hair. “It’s just for a year and a half right? You took summer courses this summer, got ahead. It’ll be okay, you guys will get through it,” 

~Oct. 12~

She was sitting in front of her vanity, finishing her makeup for her evening out on the town. Penelope, the UMich hockey team, their partners, and herself were all going to one of the local sports bars. Tonight was the opening game of the regular season for the Devils and the Red Wings. 

So they wanted to go watch and support Luke.

It was three hours until game time and Luke was starting to FaceTime her. She perked up excitedly as she set up her phone against the mirror as she accepted the call. He was getting ready in the bathroom, he was shirtless with his hair dripping wet still. Her eyes widened at the sight, he chuckled as he saw the shocked look on her features. 

“Hey, love,” she mumbled as she smiled widely. 

“Where are you going looking all pretty?” he asked as he leaned down towards the camera, trying to get a better look. She smiled shyly as she dropped her gaze towards the mascara in her makeup bag. The second to last step in her routine. 

“A whole bunch of us are going to Scorekeepers to watch your game,” she said excitedly as she began untwisting her mascara to apply it to her eyes. 

“Wait really?” he asked, his cheeks flushed red instantly.

“Yeah, the team is going to be there, they’re bringing their girlfriends and Penelope is coming with me too,” she explained as she began applying her mascara.

He ran a towel over his hair harshly, specifically at that moment so she wouldn’t tell him to stop. “That’s great, I hope you have fun,” he mumbled as he dropped the towel to the floor, he took a hold of some of his hair products as he began to style his damp hair.

“We will, are you nervous?” she questioned dropping the tube into her bag before she reached for her highlighter. She watched him shake his head. “That’s good,” she muttered. 

“My game day looks are going to be rough without you doing my hair for me,” he expressed, a chuckle leaving his throat as he looked towards his phone screen to meet her gaze.

She smiled widely while letting out a giggle, “It looks cute,” she mumbled. He smiled softly as he scanned her features through the phone screen, his chest aching. 

“Can you visit this weekend? I’ve got a game tomorrow but then I just have practices Saturday and Sunday,” he asked, his body erupting in tingles as his breath caught in his throat. 

Her smile faltered slightly, “I’ve got to work this weekend, my love, I need the money.”

He nodded as he clenched his jaw. “Okay, yeah,” he cleared his throat, “We’ll plan for another weekend. We’ll figure it out,” he said, forcing a smile onto his lips. She pouted her lip as she tilted her head back blinking rapidly, “It’s okay, baby, we’ll find a weekend,” he reassured. She nodded. 

It was several hours later and it was halfway through the first period. She sighed as yet another man walked up beside her and began flirting with her. “Let me buy you a drink,” he muttered, raising his hand up to try and get the bartender's attention. He failed.

“No, I’m okay, thank you though,” she muttered as she met his kind gaze. 

“Okay, no problem. I’m Dean,” he introduced himself, offering his hand to her. Y/N scanned his frame, ashamed of the butterflies circluating her stomach. She shook his head.

“Y/N, but I should tell you I have a boyfriend,” she explained, smiling. His smirk fell from his lips for only a moment before he smiled again.

“Cool, is he here with you?” he asked, glancing around the bar for some sign of said boyfriend. His gaze lands on an angry looking Dylan in the corner of the bar. 

“He’s not, no,” she mumbled, bringing the glass of water towards her lips. She took a sip while maintaining eye contact. “We’re long distance,” she explained. He nodded, leaning his body against the bartop. 

“Where does he live?” Dean pressed on, it wasn’t to try and make a move on her. It was more curiosity than anything. 

“Jersey,” she said, glancing back towards the screen to see the power play on the ice. Luke on the ice. Her eyes admired the forty-three on the ice before she looked back towards Dean. 

“Wait,” Dean said, glancing at the TV and then back down towards her. “Is your boyfriend Luke Hughes?” he questioned. She furrowed her eyebrows harshly, as she slowly nodded. “He’s one lucky guy,” he said, scanning her frame once more, biting his bottom lip in the process. He didn’t say anything else before he wandered away from her. 

She found herself smiling, she forced the smile off of her lips as she switched her gaze to the TV screen just as Jack scored. The UMich team erupted in cheers, while everyone else in the bar groaned. 

Dylan stepped in front of her, a scowl on his lips. “What are you doing?” he questioned harshly.

She clenched her jaw as she met Dylan’s gaze, “What?” she asked quietly. 

“What was that? You have a boyfriend, you know,” he accused. Her mouth fell open as she let out a huff of air. 

She clenched her jaw as she felt her skin get hot and her eyes filled with tears. “Luke’s been gone for almost two months,” she began, she paused as she took a shaky breath, “We talk once a day and it’s only to update each other about our lives. I miss my boyfriend and I’m sorry but I miss the attention,” she said, throwing her arms in the air. 

Dylan tilted his head to the side, a sad smile on his lips.

“I miss getting kissed,” she started, a tear falling onto her cheek, “I miss talking about anything other than hockey. I miss being held. I miss being flirted with. I miss my boyfriend. But I can’t see him because I have to work my stupid minimum wage job every weekend because I can’t afford to not work! So excuse me, if I want to enjoy the attention of an unfortunately cute boy!”

“Y/N,” he mumbled.

“I don’t need this,” she mumbled, meeting Dylan’s gaze, “I’m going to watch the rest of the game at home,” she said standing up from her barstool. 

“Y/N don’t, come on, I’m sorry. He’s my best friend-I was just-” he ranted on but she walked away, out of the bar towards her car. 

The game finished with a win and Luke finally looked at his phone once he stepped inside the apartment with Jack behind him. There was one text from Y/N and about fifteen texts from Dylan. 

Duker: Dude! Awesome win

Duker: You played fucking great! Listen though, call me? I gotta tell you something

Duker: damn dude the game ended like an hour ago, call me?!

Duker: HELLO!? HUGHESY??

The messages continued on like that. He furrowed his eyebrows harshly as he pulled his phone to his ear as he called him. “Dukes, what's wrong?” Luke asked, glancing toward Jack before he wandered into his bedroom. 

“Hey man, you played great, so proud and all that. Call your girlfriend more,” he began. Luke's face scrunched together at the sudden statement.

“What?” Luke let out.

“She’s miserable and you only calling her once a fucking day isn’t helping,” Dylan expressed.

“What are you talking about?” Luke questioned as he kicked his shoes off and shoved them towards the side table. 

“She’s lonely and misses you. She’s-you have no right to get pissed at her when I tell you this by the way,” he paused. Luke’s eyes widened as he slowly sat down on his bed, “She’s letting guys flirt with her at bars because you aren’t giving her any attention,” 

He clenched his jaw hard as his fist tightened as he slammed his fist against the mattress. He licked his lips as he tilted his head back. Shutting his eyes he let out a long drawn out breath. 

“She could call me too,” he let out, “If-if she’s-”

“Come on, man, she doesn’t want to be an inconvience to you. You’re living a life none of us understand,” he let out. 

Luke tilted his head back, feeling his eyes fill with tears, “I can’t hear her voice more than once a day because I miss her so fucking much I can’t think about anything else,” 

“Tell her that Hughesy, come on,” Dylan said, a huff of air leaving his lips. “Call her,” Dylan demanded before he hung up the phone. Luke slowly dropped his phone from his ear as he pulled up her contact.

He stared at the profile photo, it was a photo of them after their one year anniversary. He was kissing her cheek as she was smiling widely. He pressed the call button as he pulled it towards his ear, he laid down on his back. He stared towards the ceiling. She answered on the second ring. 

“Hey,” she mumbled, her voice cracking, “Great job tonight, my love,”

He shut his eyes, feeling like a weight collapsed on his chest. “Thank you, beautiful,” he let out, his voice scratchy. It was silent for a few seconds, “I fucking miss you,” he let out, a sob climbing in his throat. 

“This is harder than we thought, huh?” she let out, clearly crying. He swallowed hard as he pressed his lips together.

“Request off the weekend before Halloween, please,” he begged, “I need to see you,” he continued. She swallowed hard as she hummed. 

After a couple minutes, the conversation wasn’t filled with sadness as they chatted about the game. “It’s going to take a while to get used to,” he let out, a chuckle leaving his throat. She hummed breathily. 

He was laying in bed, staring towards the ceiling, biting his bottom lip as he began to remember the last morning of them together. The feeling of her lips on his skin, her breathy moans in his ear. He craved her, he needed her yet she was so far away. 

“Hey,” he let out barely above a whisper, tilting his head back. 

“Yeah?” she let out, a smile forming to her lips. 

“You alone?” he asked. She let out a soft giggle.

~Feb~

The broadcast team announced that Luke would not be returning to the game due to a lower body injury. She was pacing back and forth, Penelope trying to calm her down. It was no use. It was probably precautionary because got off the ice on his own accord but right now all she can think about is that he was out for the remainder of the season. He was going to be in a bad mood all of the time now. 

It was his rookie year, she understood that he was stressed, allowing him to have those days. He needed those days to fully process everything he was going through. The game was slowly coming to an end, a loss for the Devils. It seemed like that was becoming more and more common this season. 

“He’s probably fine,” Penelope offered again, her jaw clenched hard as she spoke. Remaining on the couch, she continued to watch Y/N pace back and forth.

“Please don’t-” she mumbled before her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, it was Luke. She pulled the phone to her ear, “Baby?” she questioned as she wandered towards her bedroom, away from Penelope. 

“Hey, my love, I’m alright.” he began, he took in a sharp breath, “It looked worse than it is,” he explained. He sounded out of breath but he was probably walking back towards his car. He had driven seperate from Jack. 

“Are you sure? You’re walking okay?” she questioned as she ran her hand across her mouth. 

He hummed, “They gave me the option if I wanted to go back but I’d rather take the rest of the period off and rest for the next roadie,” he explained. She tilted her head back, letting out a long drawn out breath, “I promise I’m all good, We’ll watch a movie later, okay?” 

They were starting to do that most nights, use Teleparty to watch movies together and just enjoy each other’s presence. It helps a lot with their relationship. They rarely talk but it helps them. 

“Yeah, yeah, miss your face,” she muttered as she let out a dry chuckle. 

A wide smile formed on his lips as he dropped in his driver seat of his car. He tilted his head back. “God, I miss you,” he mumbled as he clenched his jaw. “When’s your spring break?” he asked as he connected his phone to bluetooth. He buckled his seatbelt.

“March seventeeth to March twenty-fourth,” she mumbled, a small smile on her lips.

While pulling out of his parking spot, “I’ll book your flight, you’re visiting,” he said with a smile as he waited at the red light. She giggled, it was like music to his ears. “And don’t pull the whole, I got to work because I’ll send you your paycheck to make up for it,” he said with a small chuckle. 

“Luke, don’t even think about it,” she said while laughing, she collapsed down onto her bed, staring towards the ceiling. “But that was the plan, of course,” she expressed. 

“Good because the second I get home, I’m booking you a first class flight,” he explained as he continued driving, the smile on his lips never wavering. 

“Okay, my love, call me when you get back home,” she mumbled as she kept her gaze on the ceiling fan. 

“I will, find a movie for us,” he let out as he hung up the phone.

After another thirty minutes, Luke was sprailed out on his bed, shirtless as he propped up his laptop beside him. His hair was wet across his forehead as he took a cold shower once he got home. 

He heard a knock on his door as Jack pushed open the door, “Hey man how’s that-oh,” he let out as he stared towards Luke’s appearance and his laptop, “Am I interrupting anything,” he trailed off. Luke chuckled nervously, squinting his eyes slightly. His cheeks flushed red.

“No, she’s not even on FaceTime yet,” Luke mumbled, chuckling. He rolled onto his back to meet Jack’s gaze. Jack nodded slowly, a smirk forming on his lips. “What do you want?” Luke asked with a smirk on his lips.

“You seem like you’re in a good mood,” Jack crossed his arms over his chest, still smirking. Luke nodded.

“My girlfriend is coming to visit in three weeks for the whole week,” he sing songed, Jack’s mouth fell open as he smacked his hand against Luke’s shoulder.

“That’s great! You need to see her,” Jack mumbled, “How’s that knee?” he crossed his arms over his chest again. Luke shrugged as Y/N began calling him.

“Hurts, but it’s just a strain, it’ll be fine,” he said. He brought his finger to his lips as he answered the phone. He didn’t need her to know that it was a bit worse than he told her. Jack shook his head as he walked out of the room, shutting the door. 

~April 3rd, 2024~

It was the most anticipated game in the hockey world for a few days now. It was late in the third and the Devils were down by a goal. Luke had practically played the entire game, over thirty minutes in ice time. He was exhausted. He was frustrated. All she wanted to do was to give him a hug and cuddle him. 

Luke skates with the puck, sluggish and tired. He was pushing through it the best he could. She covered her mouth with her hands as he wrists a shot towards the net, the game ended a few seconds later. He skates towards the bench with the rest of his teammates behind him. 

Penelope wasn’t there to watch the game with her tonight, which was probably for the best. She had a feeling it would be a while till he called her. She shot up from her couch and began to walk towards her bathroom. 

She walked through the airport, searching for Luke. He was standing beside a girl, forcing a smile on his lips as they took a photo. She thanked him quickly before she quickly walked away from him. Luke dropped his head, laughing nervously.

Y/N continued manuvering through the crowd of people. His eyes widened once he spotted her. It only took a few more steps before she let go of her suitcase and jumped into his arms. 

Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as her cheeks pressed against his cheek. He wrapped his arms around the center of her back. Her eyes shut tightly as she felt her chest tighten. 

“I love you,” she mumbled as ran her fingers through the ends of his hair. It was longer than the last time she saw it. 

“I get you the whole week, how lucky am I?” he muttered into her ear as she slowly slipped down his body. Her hands glided from the back of his neck, towards his cheeks. She rested her hands on his cheek as she scanned his flushed features. He leaned towards her, kissing her urgently, not afraid of any wandering eyes or cameras that could catch the moment.

He needed her to be as close as possible. His hands tightened on her waist, pulling her body towards him, “Come on, Baby girl, we’ve got the apartment to ourselves for a couple hours,” he whispered against her lips.

She finished showering, putting on a tanktop and a pair of shorts as she began to clean up her bedroom. She was wandering around her room, picking up random ideas to organize the place. 

After a few minutes, she received a FaceTime call from Luke. She quickly sat down on her bed, answering the call instantly. She brushed a wet piece of hair away from her face as she stared towards Luke. He was showered as well, laying on his bed. His head was tilted back against the headrest. 

His eyes were evidently scanning her face on his screen. He clenched his jaw as he took in a sharp breath. He shut his eyes hard as he began tearing up. 

“I’m so tired,” he let out, his voice cracking as he spoke. Her lips fell into a pout as she scooted back against the bed. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he let out barely above a whisper. He opened his eyes, as a tear fell onto his cheek.

“Hey, hey, what do you mean?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows. He shook his head as he pressed his lips together.

“I can’t handle the pressure, it’s too much,” he let out, another tear falling onto his cheek. 

“Baby, it was a tough game-”

“It wasn’t just the game though, Can’t open Twitter without seeing everyone hate on me. I can’t do this,” he let out while shaking his head. 

Y/N clenched her jaw as she tilted her head to the side. “Luke, it’s just a bad stretch of games. It’s not just on you, you need to take some weight off your shoulders,” she tried to help him. 

“I can’t do that, I can’t do anything right,” he said, crying, tilting her head to the side as she met his gaze through the phone screen. “I miss you, I just wish you were in Jersey with me. I can’t handle another year of this,” he groaned out.

“I miss you too, my love. Luke, you are stronger than you think. I love you so much, you will get past this, you will find a way out. You are going to be just fine. The season is almost done, you’ll get a lot of rest. And you’ll see me for months straight to the point you’ll get tired of me,” she said with a sad smile forming on her lips. His lips curled upward slightly, a dry chuckle leaving his throat. 

“Not possible, I could never get tired of you,” he said, happy to hear those words, “What if,” he paused as his eyebrows furrowed harshly in thought, “What if I stayed with you for a few days after the season is done?” he asked. Her eyes lit up excitedly.

“What if you stayed until the semester ends?” she asked, a smile on her face.

“Would Penelope be okay with that?” he asked.

“Baby, I think she would rather you be here all the time than hear me cry about missing you another minute,” she said with a wide smile, “And I’m sure the boys would love to see you,” she expressed. 

“Then it’s a plan,” he said with a smile, his tears no longer falling. “I love you so much,”

[penflicks]

may i request a saundreas drabble based on dial drunk by noah kahan?

This actually takes place in the same band au that I wrote a snapshot in before.

He shouldn't have reacted, Andreas knows he shouldn't have reacted. But two days ago he'd found out that Saul had left him for Sebastian not because he didn't love Andreas but because Sebastian was blackmailing him over the death of his father. So now Andreas was three - or was it seven? Maybe it was a number between those - whiskeys deep and some fucker had said his Saul's name.

Andreas could barely remember the comment once his fist was bloody from the man's face, all he remembered was the rage and then the satisfaction of hitting. It would have been even better if Rosalind would just let him hunt Sebastian down and hit him instead.

He'd been hauled off the guy and thrown into the back of a police car. Already he was trying work out who his phone call should be, and each time Saul's number played across his mind. He could call Saul, have him pick him up, and Saul would scold him but his anger wouldn't last and Andreas would wake up in his Saul's bed the next morning. They'd fix the kids breakfasts and take them to school and...and then Andreas tried to think of someone he could actually call to pick him up.

In the station they made Andreas take a breathalyser test as if Andreas wouldn't have just told them how much he'd had. It was 3/5/7/9 whiskeys! An odd number that he was sure of, and that would give them an accurate idea surely.

When they asked for the number emergency phone number he gave them Saul's without a second thought. If Saul didn't come to get him he didn't want to leave.

He listened as the call went through, heard it ring and Saul pick up. He sounded sleepy, the exact groggy that meant he'd been woken up and Andreas's heart clenched in his chest. He wanted to be there in bed beside him, wanted to hold him tight and pull him back under the covers, wanted the weekend lie ins where the kids would come in at dawn and snuggle in for cartoons and cuddles. They'd get up and down coffee like it was all that was keeping them alive and Saul would moan about their small children not knowing that weekends were for sleeping late.

Andreas wanted it all. The good and bad. He wanted it so badly that he reached out a handle for the phone and was grateful when it was given to him. He would give up anything to have their old life back.

"Hey, Honey," Andreas said quietly, being so careful not to slur his words.

All he got from the other end of the line was a long sigh and then nothing as Saul hung up. Andreas felt as if the guy from the bar had got a lucky punch on him after all and it was only now registering.

Saul hadn't wanted to hear from him at all.

No, no, that couldn't be right. He reached for the number pad and tried to call back.

An officer took the phone from his hands and tried to guide him back to his cell to calm down.

"Break ups are rotten man, he was wrong to hang up on you. But let's sit down, and you can tell me someone else to call for you, because none of us want you staying the night here if you don't have to." The officer was probably trying to sound friendly and reasonable.

"I beg you, sir, just let me call! I'll wait with all the burnouts in the cell. I swear he'll call me back," Andreas pleaded. It wasn't a familiar sensation but he could feel the life he'd had and lost slipping through his fingers all over again. He wanted Saul back. He wanted their life. He wanted the kids to not have to have to travel between houses to see their dads. He wanted to turn back time and fix things.

"Son, are you a danger to yourself?" The officer guided him back towards the cell, watching him with concern.

Andreas didn't care about how he looked causing that expression on his face. Nothing mattered except finding a way back to what he'd broken. He couldn't go back to an empty house when the kids were staying the night at Saul's. It was why he'd gone out drinking in the first place. Anything was better than the dark rooms in his cold empty house.

"I'll do anything, just let me call him back, he'll come get me this time," Andreas begged. More words tumbled out of his mouth after this but he lost track of them, they didn't matter as long as he convinced the officer to let him call Saul back.

If only so he could hear that beautiful voice again. So he could go to sleep in a cell playing the lullaby of Saul's voice over and over in his mind.

He was a sentimental got and he didn't even care. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Son, why do you do this to yourself?" The officer sighed as he shut Andreas in the cell.

The door was opened again a while later and there stood the officer looking so surprised that Andreas heart soared. It could only be good news.

"You'll never guess you turned up to collect you." The officer gestured Andreas to come with him, and there by the reception desk was Saul, Beatrix on his hip dosing against his shoulder and Sky hugging his knees.

The kids were in their pjs. Saul had got them up to come and collect him.

Sky detached himself from Saul as soon as Andreas came out to meet them and ran, arms outstretched, to Andreas. Andreas caught him up beneath the arms and swung him onto his hip. Sky snuggled his head into Andreas's neck and Andreas caught sight of a soft look on Saul's face as he watched them.

The alcohol made him brave and he crossed the gap to kiss Saul. Saul huffed against is mouth but didn't pull away, perhaps there was hope for their relationship after all.

"I should make you sleep on the sofa," Saul told him as they left the police station and walked to where Saul had parked the car.

"But you won't?" Andreas asked hopefully.

"I'd better not, I can't risk you having alcohol poisoning," Saul said with a little smile that said it wasn't the reason at all.

Andreas beamed. He was going to wake up in Saul's arms in the morning, and this time he was going to do things right.

[sonyadance]

Travels and Dancing 20

I like writing these.  They calm my nervous system down, help me figure out what the heck happened, because, damn life happens!  Some people tell me that that’s what my next book should be about: travels and dancing.  I agree, I want it also, but it’s not there.  I’ve tried many times to write a book and the only one that actually came out all the way to publishing is the one that had a clear structure, direction and just basically got vomited through my fingers.  A bit like when I write these texts… but these are like a glorified journal, not interesting enough to publish for the world to see.  Actually… for the world to buy.

I’m so happy with where I’ve come from in the last year and where I’m going, but, as always, I have to pace myself better: the new year barely started and I’m exhausted.  I have one day off in two months.  I don’t think that’s healthy… so reorganization is on the table.  Everything I hated before, I now understand how it serves me.  Having a routine allows me to spend less time finding where everything is and just going; having structure gives me the freedom to move, build and create.  There is definitely more work to do in those areas, but going from feeling the ick in my body just hearing those words (routine, daily, structure, authority, Québec, family) to wanting them.  Wow.  Path in my own back.

We did another iteration of Le Chalet wcs with Phil and Flore in August of last year.  I love these two so much.  As always, I was really slow in understanding that they wanted my friendship, they reached out so many times before my brain actually went: oh, ok, they want to be friends, they are friends.  They are amazing people, aligned in their values, hardworking, a beautiful example to have around.  And I know things are probably not always pink and fluffy for them, but if you read this: you inspire me to be a better person, and that having a family, being stable and dancing can all go hand in hand.  I love you.

Le Chalet was amazing as always: 35 people sleeping in the same house, eating together, training, dancing, playing games, sharing.  It’s definitely one of my favorite weekend of the year.  I love seeing how the community grows stronger by people having time to share more intimately, play and just sharing the same space.  This is definitely something that we’ll keep holding as long as possible!

Then it was the Country Festival of St-Michel-des-Saints.  Me and two of my best friend in this world drove there, rented a little cottage, cooked, ate, drank, danced into the night and partied at the Festival.  An honorable mention for your host who won the title of Mechanical Bull Queen of the festival!  What did I win?  Pride.  Lots of it.  Bruises.  Even more of it.  A bit of bleeding and shaky leg (where not going there).  Was it worth it?  100% would recommend.  100% won’t do it again.  We found the party with the line dancer and I don’t know if it was the euphoria of the whole thing, but I got carried into it for the first time in my life.  If you’ve seen me at events, I’ve been mostly on the side of the dancefloor for all line dance type things…  I has a blast there!  Maybe it was the weekend I had spent at the Calgary Dance Stampede in April, seeing videos of my then roommate Mackenzie Keister, who made it look really cool, but it made me want to do country.  Something might be brewing on that front. ;-)

September was for training and resetting.  Anybody knows Noah Kahan?  I discovered him when he released the Stick Season single and fell in love.  I had just bought my first car ever and listened to that tune non-stop while driving in BC.  I would go for cold dips in the morning as the sun would rise and blast it.  I honestly think this whole album helped me re-acclimate to Québec, which wasn’t my first choice of place to settle, but has so many of the people I love.  The melancholy of it.  Making winter, slowness and boredom feel attractive through the poetry of it all.  Sincerely, thank you Noah.  So last summer, as I was driving to Halifax for a contract with a student and friend of mine, I played Noah’s album over and over and mentioned that this is the one artist I would love to go see live.  My student found tickets for Toronto and there we were screaming our heads off at the Budweiser Stage in Toronto a couple months later.  Probably the best concert I’ve been to in my life (ok, I really have been to like 5 concerts ever, but still…)  I’m so happy for that memory before the tickets became 400$+.

I then drove to Sherbrooke to give a teacher’s training and a couple workshops.  Gosh, I love my job.  I love teaching so much.  Some dancers I know do it because it’s the part that pays the most, but, for me, it’s the best part!  Anything I do, I do it in the frame of mind of teaching it, if I don’t, I lose interest real fast.  Teacher’s training are the summit: passionate people who are interested in details and want to ingest as much information as possible to then share it with their world?  Gold.

I had a weekend home so I invited my new dancer partner to practice and actually meet.  Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you.  One day, I saw a video of a baby novice dancer and said to myself: I don’t know who that is, but he’s mine before he gets to All-Star and people finally realize that he’s as good as I know he is.  I then proceeded to stalk him (in a totally legal and respectful manner) and ask him if he was available for a call.  I told him what I saw in him, he told me his story and he planned to come up for two days.  Then in a fun turn of events, I happened to have to move that weekend.  So hi Aaron, nice to meet you, here’s half my family and thanks for moving my mattress and underwear and sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a half empty apartment with me.  Great introduction.  We had a blast anyway, sharing, constructing plans and trying liftwork for a potential routine.  The weekend after, I was in Austin to choreograph for us with Glenn Ball.  I love choreographing and I am always drawn to share a story I’ve created or seem important to share, and we needed a leader that knew more about swing.  It was a whirlwind of a weekend with awesome people having me over, a few games of laser tag, riding in my dream car (black mustang) and being dragged to a country evening… which also re-kindled/re-confirmed the country love affair!

Then came, one of the craziest thing I’ve ever done: registering for a pole competition after being grounded (literally, not flying… with apparatus, I still took the plane) because of a shoulder injury, having health problem that got me bedridden for a couple of months, basically being in the worse shape of my life.  I registered mid-august, so I had two months to choreograph, train, get in pole shape, create the music, and order costumes.  At the time, I also thought that I didn’t have a partner for The Open so it was going to give me the motivation to train for something else, but I ended up having two partners and creating two dance routines at the same time, finding and cutting music, getting costumes for that and trying to find travel time to meet my partners.

To my surprise, I won.  I didn’t even have a competitive goal in mind.  What I wanted to do was present something that was so clear that it gave me a business cards to get gigs with other polers.  I don’t need to become world pole champion, I want to help people who have so much more abilities and/or fire than me, create a routine that resembles them, has smooth transition and is sound.  I didn’t manage to run my full until the day before.  I rented an extra studio hour in Toronto and succeeded once.  Perfect, ready to go.  I told myself that a lot of things could go wrong with a pole routine (dealing with different poles, slipping, speed of rotation, angles, height, distance between poles, angles on static), but that I knew my routine, my song, my theme and myself enough, that I could make it work and present a show that I’d be proud of.  After 2m on stage to rehearse… which means you don’t have your music, you don’t get to run the whole thing, there are 3 other people on stage with you… I went on to do make-up, watch other performance, wait and finally get on stage.  It felt so good.  Pole audiences are normally very loud, but during half of my performance there was not a sound to be heard.  Which can be a really good or really bad thing.  I was so proud.  People came to me after to tell me I’ve touched them and that they heard my story and that’s all I needed.

For those who haven’t seen that routine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PFKdHvSUKU&t=14s

Montreal Westie Fest came around.  The hometown event where I always felt welcomed, loved and seen no matter where I was coming from at the time.  Stephen came in town so we could choreograph and we won the pro strictly.  I hadn’t felt that good dancing in a competition in a long time.  That also felt like home.  We know each other so well, it just flows.  I had an awesome lumber jack and jill where you are randomly paired with different levels and performing battle style.  I drew Alex Glover who reminded me he did his first pro-am jack and jill (actually the winner of novices got to dance with a pro) at Montreal Westie Fest a few years back and now we were dancing together and we were sitting side by side as he was competing in the pro strictly as well.  I love full circle moments like that, they feel so warm and fulfilling.

Vidéo of Stephen and I:

Calgary was next and what a freaking weekend!  I got there a couple of days early to meet my best friend Kim who moved to BC a couple years ago.  We rented a hotel, roamed around, bought cowboy hats, and went totally berserk in the hotel pool.  Then I met Nelson at the event hotel and some of the shenanigans we got up to that weekend are definitely not shareable through this media.  All I can tell you is that there are videos of it and that most people thought I was drunk off my ass, but I actually had two glasses of wine in the entire weekend.  One of my great idea was to get inflatable costumes to do a two-steps before the real presentation.  I forgot to mention, it was Halloween weekend.  So Nelson and I got into these giant pig costumes, blew them up and went down for the show.  As we started, I realized that we hadn’t tried dancing at all in them and that every time my arm was lifted for a turn (and it is often in a two-steps) I couldn’t see anything; that every time a wrap happened (and it happens often in a two-step) it would squish my whole body and bounce me back out.  Then my costume started to deflate, the pomp dangling down my leg and… let me tell you it was the worse or the best demo you’ve ever seen.  It all depends on perspective.

I was home for a weekend after that (halleluiah!)  So I decided to do a house warming party in my new apartment: after all, one of the reasons to have a home is to be able to have people over, no?  I invited my closest friends and family with all their kids… and this stranger I had talked to online a few months ago.  I’ll explain.  I created an account on Hinge to show guys profile to my brother as I was talking from a woman perspective what I found interesting and might catch my eyes.  I kept it to swipe left on everybody when I was bored at night and feel better about myself with all the likes coming in.  For some unknown reason to this day, I swiped right on this guy’s profile, then forgot about it because I was never going to talk to him, but then he wrote again.  We talked for three weeks (I was always out of Montreal), it was easy and nice, but after some thoughts, I realized I still wasn’t ready to meet anybody after the disaster of my last relationship.  I told him so and expected to be told off.  Instead he sent me a really nice message with his number for if I wanted to contact him in the future.  Long story short, I meet him by chance in September, we talk for 5m, and I tell him it was really nice to meet him, that I’d like to meet again in a couple months.  Fast forward to October, we’ve texted a bit, I finally have my own apartment, my life is getting settled, I feel ready, so yeah, I invited him to my house warming party with a bunch of strangers (to him).  He came.  The rest will have to go inside of another story book, but we’ve now met most of each other’s family and friends, spent the holidays together and he’s coming on a dance cruise with me in May.

Back to our initial topic: dance.  As a last minute decision to get some time to rehearse with Stephen before The Open, I flew to Seattle to spend a few days at his place, meet his lovely life partner, rehearse like maniacs, chill and head to Sea to Sky.  Sea to Sky was a really relaxed event for me, which I’m not really use to: I didn’t have workshops to teach, no judging, just a few privates, rehearsals with Stephen, floor trial and performance after a grand total of a few hours over 5 days of training for that routine.  I’d say it went pretty well for the context.  It gave us the information we needed to know what to adjust before the big day… in our head because we could only meet on the Thursday of The Open. Loll.  You got to love the rush!

I went home for 36h (had a glass of wine with mystery Hinge man) and left for Philadelphia to train with Aaron.  We had a few hours between workshops I gave, private lessons we both had, leaving for DCSX where we had some coaching down, I taught some more, judged a few comps, competed and finaled in Champion JnJ and Strictly.  We also had the opportunity to see a basketball match live in the VIP section.  Freaking loved it (also sent tons of videos to mystery man who loves basketball)!

And there it was, the most expected weekend of the year for most of us: The Open.  After consulting with friends I trust and having hard discussions, we decided to scratch the showcase routine with Aaron.  My friends basically told me: you were right he’s extremely talented, you could run it, but your routine is not quite ready yet and it’d be better to leave a great first impression than an ok one.  Aaron was glad to also have a first year at The Open to be an observer soak in the vibe and feel more ready for when the moment will be right.  Stephen and I performed in Classic on Saturday.  I say performed and not competed because our intention was wildly different.  Not only we knew that a total of maybe 14 hours (with many curve balls thrown at us), was not quite enough to do something highly competitive, but also because we wanted to present something that was us.  A feel good routine.  Something you want to watch with a hot cocoa, wrapped in a big blanket.  A window into some other people’s inner world.  And we did just that.  I’m really proud of the results and especially proud of the fact that it inspired other artists around us and, for me, that’s one of the highest compliment… along with people writing me that it was their young kids’ favorite routine!!!

Stephen and I’s routine:

We rented a huge Airbnb by the beach with Stephen, Jacinda, Aaron, Brad, Jerome, Alyssa and Sean to get some rest and reset before TAP.  How did I rest?  By going to a silks` class, copying cabaret liftwork with Aaron and partying for Alyssa’s birthday.  It started all nice and fun until a party bus was called at 11pm and we got taken to a random karaoke bar and… the next day was hard.  Just thinking about it, I’m getting tired.  Another honorable mention for me who traumatized the young adult boy partying next door.

TAP came along and I did the classic mistake I often do: party like an animal and stay on the dancefloor until 6am on the Friday because I’m so excited to be there and then be completely trash for the Saturday night. A classic, loll.  I have to admit I was really sad about not making finals and being able to dance with my peers in strictly.  I don’t know why, but TAP is the only event that gives me that feeling: it’s like being left out.  I did have the chance to do a smooth demo with Joel Torgeson for the Invitational.  I also took a few privates which triggered some fire and interest in me that I hadn’t felt in a while.

I came back to Montreal on the 5th of December and got my wisdom teeth removed the next day.  Never too old to get wise!  NO, but seriously, the entire month of November, while I was in the States and gearing towards The Open, I had a tooth infection, got some antibiotics that knocked me out and was just in pain the whole time.  The extraction went really poorly, I had to take two sets of antibiotics, my jaw was so locked I couldn’t open my mouth, I couldn’t eat, I’m allergic to all anti-inflammatories so I was in pain, I couldn’t eat for a week, couldn’t work for two… it was a mess.  All the while mystery man came over (there is a specific reason I manage to swallow my pride and let him see me like this so early on, but I won’t get into it now) petted my hair while holding an ice pack in my face and talking to me for two hours since I couldn’t speak.  That’ll accelerate the bonding process…

Besides that mess to end 2023 kind of how it started, I had a great holiday season, got to see my friends and my family in Montreal, went to a fun chalet for the New Year (first year in a long time that I’m not working an event at that time, it felt kind of nice!) and spend quality time with everybody before my crazy winter schedule started.  I am now teaching every evening between pole dancing, aerial art, yoga, wcs group and private lessons of different levels at different locations, and I am gone most every weekends for different gigs.  I already miss seeing my people.  Once everything is settled and my life has a bit more of a rebuilt, I will free at least a weekend a month and an evening a week so I can have a social life with “normal” people. ;-)

I’m excited for what’s to come, but I also need a solid nap and some healthy food.  Help!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21/10/2023 (Fred again../Jozzy, Troye Sivan, Drake/SZA)

Content warning: Brief mentions of mental health, violence, emotional abuse and death

For a second week, Kenya Grace leads the pack with “Strangers” - welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start the episode off with our notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. Firstly, we see a couple top 40 debuts exiting as soon as they entered, like “Normal People Things” by Lovejoy, “Toxic” by Nines featuring the Bad Boy Chiller Crew, “You & Me” by JENNIE and “American Town” by Ed Sheeran, as well as “bad idea right?” by Olivia Rodrigo prematurely dropping off thanks to the three-song rule. Then we have some of the more long-term hits dropping off like “The Weekend” by Stormzy and RAYE, “0800 HEAVEN” by Nathan Dawe and Joel Corry featuring Ella Henderson, “Popular” by The Weeknd, Playboi Carti and Madonna - that lasted way longer than I expected - and despite the recent gains, “Snooze” by SZA.

There is just… a lot of everything this week, but particularly gains. We do have some re-entries too, with “Style” by Taylor Swift back at #73 before her re-recording is even out, followed by “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #71 - what did I tell you? - and bizarrely enough, “Pompeii” by Bastille all the way up at #37 thanks to an orchestral version with Hans Zimmer. Alright then. As for our notable gains… let’s just run through it: “Another Love” by Tom Odell at #59, “Party All the Time” by Hannah Laing and HVRR at #58, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #39, “On My Love” by Zara Larsson and David Guetta at #38, “Would You (go to bed with me?)” by Campbell and Alcemist at #35, “Got Me Started” and “Rush” both by Troye Sivan at #36 and #27 respectively - more on him later, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #25, “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan at #18 “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift at #14 thanks to the new versions, “DNA (Loving You)” by Billy Gillies featuring Hannah Boleyn at #12 and Mitski gets her first top 10 with the fantastic song “My Love Mine All Mine” at #8 - more on that later in the year.

As for our top five, we have “Baddadan” by Chase & Status and Bou featuring their posse at #5, “Water” by Tyla at #4, “greedy” by Tate McRae at #3, “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #2 and of course, “Strangers” at the very top. Now for our list of new songs, and it’s a lot - not a ton of it makes all too much sense either. As you can clearly tell with…

NEW ARRIVALS

#60 - “Just How You Like It” - K.A.D and Kak Hatt

Produced by K.A.D

I listened to a regional BBC Music Introducing show a couple weeks ago and heard a variety of stuff. One of the songs that stuck with me was a pretty mediocre but charming hip-house tune by some guy and it went “give me some time, I’ll have a Rover, lookin’ like a four-leaf clover, tell that girl, come closer”. It’s honestly probably terrible but it was at least honest fun, ending up comical not because he tried to be, but because it was a bit of a genuine fun, not trying too hard to offend anyone or even pretend he was a talented rapper. It was just stupid, and that was okay. This song, with the guy’s Bitmoji in the cover art, seems to think very highly of itself despite the fact it sounds worse than a clearly amateur recording from a guy who I’m sure has way less than the millions of streams this has. It’s pretty easy for me to tell when a song is devoid of personality or anything that personally interests me, but it’s rare that we can get a song devoid of talent - or at least any interest in getting any better. Hope this falls off quick.

#56 - “Black Hole” - boygenius

Produced by Collin Pastore, Jake Finch, Ethan Gruska, Calvin Lauber, Marshall Vore and boygenius

And for a change of pace, we have indie-rock threesome boygenius, consisting of critical darlings Phoebe Bridgers, Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus, with this coming as a bit of a surprise but they did carry some streams from the rest, a little accompanying EP for their debut album from earlier this year. I have yet to listen to any of the collaborative stuff from boygenius, even if I do like a fair bit of Baker’s and Dacus’ solo work. The song starts minimally with Baker despairingly mentioning the few stars she can see in the dark, as the lowered cacophony of strings, glitches, and plummering percussion start to rumble into prominence, battling with a lo-fi piano recording that just sits there, is let hang in a really awkward, but again, despairing way. Eventually, there is a full ruffling of drums but it’s distorted and busy, way too much so to feel organic or natural, so the seemingly endless verse of contrasting phrases from Dacus and Bridgers float across it, way further in the mix, like a cry for help in disaster - “my thoughts, all noise […] sometimes, I need to hear your voice”. It’s a great line to end on to, as the song dissipates out into the next on the tracklisting through a clattering software break instead of anything that sounds like it actually functions or resolves the song’s conflict. It’s a bit of a short, depressing tune, but it gets its point across pretty damn well. Wouldn’t mind more boygenius charting in the future, or just good alternative rock in general… just saying…

#52 - “WORTH IT” - Offset featuring Don Toliver

Produced by CHASETHEMONEY, Heavy Mellow, Cory Rose, OTTI, BEAM and Dave-O

The amount of producers on these big-name rap projects is getting out of hand. Does Offset really need six guys on the boards? To be fair, this was originally a song just by BEAM and CHASETHEMONEY that got deleted and repurposed into this track, which itself samples a Busta Rhymes classic “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See”, which peaked at #16 in 1997, as well as the reggae-pop hit “You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No)” by Dawn Penn, which hit #3 in 1994. Yet somehow with all those samples, nothing of interests pops out. I guess this has a vague reggae rhythm to it thanks to the shaking percussion, and I mostly like Don Toliver on this kind of sound - he fits really well! Offset is here, on his #62 album that somehow charted two songs in the top 60 thanks to big-name features, and he just is entirely alien to this kind of song. There’s nothing that screams “chill reggae-pop” about Offset and it doesn’t seem like the mastering engineers cared much to rectify that. I don’t mind some of the melodic flows he ends up with, but they’re not anything I’d give a second listen. Maybe Offset’s next track will impress me?

#49 - “SAY MY GRACE” - Offset featuring Travis Scott

Produced by Vinylz, FNZ, Maneesh and Tom Levesque

Ever read a song’s title, artists and producers and know EXACTLY how it’s going to sound? This elevated, staccato luxurious trap beat was not a surprise to me at all, and I could even vaguely predict Set’s flow on this, which is sadly a bit more awkward than it should be when he’s asking God some genuine questions about why the people around him are dying, why there is systematic racism in the American justice system and… how his pinky ring cost him a Phantom. Travis Scott comes in saying he flooded the crib with cars and anything genuinely challenging or exciting about the song leaves with his verse, as the atmosphere mutes itself to a compressed synth for the entirety of his substanceless garbage that is sadly now not atypical of Travis. It had potential, but ended up honestly pretty bad.

#45 - “the grudge” - Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Dan Nigro and Ryan Linvill

I was secretly hoping that no extra songs from GUTS would end up charting because I have very few good things to say about them but also very few good reasons for why I don’t like them. I can appreciate them as songs but they don’t resonate with me and particularly not this one, in her typical wordy fashion with those distant pianos and breathy delivery about a manipulative relationship where she just doesn’t have the strength left in her to forgive, which she really doesn’t need to. It is completely in her right to hold that grudge, and the framing of the song doesn’t entirely absolve her on that front, which is interesting, pretty disagreeable to me at least to me but I just wish the song gave me more actual melodic resonance outside of what acts practically as speaking over solid enough piano backing. It’s just lacking in some of the essentials for me, sorry.

#43 - “THIS YEAR (Blessings)” - Victor Thompson featuring Ehis ‘D’ Greatest

Produced by Samduke and Henrietta Thompson

This is a Christian Afrobeats song, I’m pretty sure, and not an awful one at that. Thompson is a Nigerian gosepl singer, and whilst the production is expectedly cheap and messy given a budget I assume just isn’t there, given that Christian music isn’t the mainstream market in Nigeria either, the delivery from these guys is so devoted it is pretty impressive, especially with Ehis’ shaky falsetto. That hook is insanely catchy also, and the slightly minimal, flexible Afrobeats groove is a solid foundation for two very slippery vocalists. I like the little screech that comes in every few measures, the choir vocals are beautiful as you’d expect - I love pretty much any use of choir in music - but why is this charting? Afrobeats is big, but these guys aren’t, and devoted Christian songs don’t often chart. There is a “French version” with Vacra and a sped-up version so I can assume some global TikTok virality… oh. Gunna is on the remix. There was a hidden Gunna song in here all this time. He’s not even bad here, though a bit strained, you can tell his passion is there even if the lyrics are generic. It’s an odd fit but not the worst, I suppose.

#31 - “DArkSide” - Bring Me the Horizon

Produced by Zakk Cervini, Oli Sykes and Daisuke Ehara

And straying as far away from possible as Christian Afrobeats songs featuring Gunna, we have the newest Bring Me the Horizon song, and man… this one’s about the “dark side” winning, going for a semi-introspective semi-populist touch that ends up just being gross in how it explores mental health. It goes for an anthemic pop-metal throwback to their mid-2010s days but without the specific narrative of POST HUMAN: SURVIVAL HORROR or the same level of sheer angst that I’m not sure they have in them anymore. It feels like an attempt by record label executives seeing the success of Bring Me the Horizon to make a song that could still be a hit whilst sounding like Bring Me the Horizon, with a touch of iffily-approached mental health lyrics that basically amount to “you wouldn’t be able to handle me when I’m crazy!”, furthered by the quirky vocal layering, obnoxious 2012 electronics and mostly substanceless, surprisingly rote songwriting. This is just nothing - there are no risks, there’s no interesting turns of phrase. It’s not even three minutes. It’s just depressing to see a once innovative band caught in this cycle of repeating themselves.

#28 - “Can’t Play Myself (A Tribute to Amy)” - Skepta featuring Amy Winehouse

Produced by Skepta

So in 2007, Amy Winehouse released “Tears Dry on Their Own” as a single, and in all honesty, I don’t like it. It is heavily reliant on its interpolation of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, a classic duet that it clearly tries to flip in how she and Salaam Remi built a pretty ambivalent song over one of the most recognisably upbeat, motivational anthems, about not feeling too bad about a relationship breaking up because it wasn’t made to last. Yet fittingly, it never really made me feel anything. It peaked at #37 on release then upon Winehouse’s death re-peaked at #27. Now as a tribute to the lost singer, UK rapper Skepta has remixed the track but not in a style you’d expect. It’s just a straight future house song and disappointingly not very interesting at all. Sure, it has a bit more fuzz and static than the usual house cut, but it doesn’t feel exactly on purpose, just moreso that Skepta can’t fully pull off atmospheric house, considering the factorial percussion and very flat-feeling pads and synths that coat Winehouse’s organic vocals. I may not be a fan of the original song but at least I’m able to admit her vocals will never really fit that perfectly on something that isn’t in that soulful vibe. It does pain me because I do want to enjoy this, it seems like a genuine tribute and re-imagining of a song he loved from her, but I don’t really like the execution here, it feels like it could have been done by anybody, which for Skepta, is kind of sad. Sorry.

#21 - “Rich Baby Daddy” - Drake featuring Sexyy Red and SZA

Produced by Gordo, Klahr, LIOHN, BNYX, TheLoudPack and UV Killin Em

This may be my favourite Drake song. To be fair, there is some healthy competition - and it is completely expected for me to like this kind of song, at least when you boil it down to its essentials - but the amount of Drake songs I genuinely love probably doubled with the release of For All the Dogs. “Rich Baby Daddy” appears to be the fan favourite as well, or at least the one going most viral on TikTok, and I couldn’t be happier. This is a straight-up Atlanta bass record based around a heavenly pad and angelic vocal sample from Jessica Domingo that elevates the song immediately into a state of transcendence, to the point where the pitter patter of the typical Miami bass percussion is more a sprinkled decoration than main rhythm despite the fact that it is still absolutely hypnotising. Of course, Sexyy Red of all people is here and her tonally void club-ready chant about shaking that ass for Drake is perfect for this kind of bop. Drake contrasts her staccato constant with a feeble warble that flexes, sure, but drenching himself with the same paranoia present throughout the album, with the lyrics about a girl dragging love out of him seeming reminiscent of those questions asked by the vocal sample: “I could be enough, is it all?”. SZA kills it as always, going for a fast-paced, sometimes incoherent sliding delivery, and I love how the vocal sample re-appears as prominent in the mix during her verse, it’s a great mix of vocal layers that compliment each other, especially when SZA is desperate to turn this one-night stand into something further. Ms. Red has a pretty short verse but her leaving the track to run bare, just repeating “I’m lucky” as an ad-lib before the hook comes back in definitely doesn’t sound like an error, it sounds like the emptiness of the song - which it has down even to its minimal instrumentation - creeping in, of course before it becomes increasingly obvious with that abrupt beat switch to a downtempo track of Drake crooning. Now, I’ve heard this song with this part excluded, I read a lot about how it ruined the song or at least the momentum, and I completely agree, but Drake’s best weapon in his arsenal is to make the audience hear conversations they never wanted to even know of. So of course after his incredibly accessible dance banger about masking the fragility of a relationship with the fun you’re having, he gets in his feelings about how much he did for this girl yet how distant and inexperienced she still is. Is it gross? Yes, of course it is, especially over those eerie looming synths. But Drake also latches onto some killer melodies and awful lines that make me recoil into my skin a little bit. Because he’s Drake, that’s what he does, and he’s doing it best here. That strained “You know I’m the one” is a great thing to leave in the air, because it sounds far from sincere. This is an excellent song, I’m glad it’s probably going to be a hit, and if this is the last song I talk about from that Drake album, just know I still think it’s his best and I know my opinion is garbage. WIth that said, how out of all of the songs on there the Yeat one still in the top 10? I would never have predicted that.

#17 - “One of Your Girls” - Troye Sivan

Produced by OZGO

As you can probably expect, so, say it with me now: No, I did not listen to the Troye Sivan album. Who do you think I am? Someone who likes pop music? You would be correct in that assumption and I was tempted to check it out when “Rush” was the only single but “Got Me Started” tempered me very much so. And wow, isn’t this a terrible inclusion to the list of singles? First of all, he sounds like Harry Styles over this murmuring synthpop instrumental, and secondly, he implies support for copyright law, which is nothing we here at the deadcactuswalking establishment can support. I would respect the rejection of the song’s sound to add five unnecessarily blaring synths before the acoustics come in the pre-chorus, if they didn’t sound like a scary logo compilation from 2011, and then a different synth tone comes in the outro - it is clearly a purposeful attempt to sound ugly, and for such a comforting and warm song lyrically, it puts me off from even wanting to come back to it, apart from it being generally dull. A few weird moments does not make an experimental song… or even an interesting one.

#16 - “ten” - Fred again.. and Jozzy

Produced by Fred again.. and Tony Friend

Interestingly, I can’t find the origin of this song’s samples, maybe it’s an unreleased set of tracks from sessions with Jozzy and Jim Legxacy, or just from sample packs, or stuff genuinely too obscure no one has found yet, but it definitely doesn’t sound like it was made for the song. In fact, “ten” has that same blue, jumbled sound as “adore u” but the lack of frame of reference regarding the lyrics may actually help because as a result I can fully submerge in this as what it is, which is practically an instrumental. The song immediately captures the club-ready set with that “back it up and dump it” refrain yet seems to pull you away or at least follow you on the road with its cold, limping synths, punctuated by a lo-fi chipping of drums, wherein Jozzy’s vocals act as another instrument at Fred’s disposal, manipulated not to make sense but to fit with the song and reach the exact melodic impact he wants, which is a great decision considering this song is about missing home. Lyrics that felt solid and developed, especially on the heavily-filtered, subtle and minimal atmospheric house beat would be almost a distraction. They simply want you to carry on with this one, as any homesick person with responsibilities may want to do also: just stick with it despite feeling completely out of it, and as someone who has recently moved home and is feeling particularly fatigued, it hits pretty hard. I do usually snark at the whole slow-down outro thing, but it works pretty well here considering it’s that moment of feeling absolutely lethargic and unsure of yourself before it picks up once again, actually speeding back up to pace for the true outro, with even more twinkling synth patterns and a whirlpool of distortion that eventually completely devours the song… yet it still goes on, like life always does. I don’t know if the song was made to be about stretching yourself unnecessarily just in order to get through life, but it sure feels like it and it hits home as a result. This is fantastic, and I hope it has a run like “adore u” did.

Conclusion

I mean, obviously, whoever the hell featuring who gives a damn gets Worst of the Week for “How You Like It”, but it’s sad to say that “DArkSide” by Bring Me the Horizon wasn’t far behind with the Dishonourable Mention. As for the best, it was kind of difficult but it is very difficult to reach Drake’s best so he gets Best of the Week for “Rich Baby Daddy” featuring Sexyy Red and SZA, with a tied Honourable Mention between boygenius’ “Black Hole” and “ten” by Fred again.. and Jozzy, both pretty incredible songs. As for what to expect upon the horizon, I don’t know and this episode was too long for me to care. Thank you for reading, see you next week!

[f1ofc]

In need of a new perspective

one-shot inspired by the line, "No thing so sure that I can't learn to doubt it" from New Perspective by Noah Kahan mentions of parts 2 and 3 of the social media au but can be read independently ☺️ 600+ words

masterlist

It was during Bahrain’s first free practice session that Johanna first met Fernando Alonso. The team was happy with her time and still full of adrenaline, she decided to go for a walk around the paddock. Recognizing him from testing earlier that year, Jo greeted Lance as she passed the Aston Martin facilities.

He smiled as she slowed, “Hey Johanna, how’s practice going?”

“Pretty good, I think. Mick gave me some tips that turned out pretty useful. I’m having to completely adapt my driving style to take these turns at this speed.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. You’ll get the hang of it.”

He started moving back towards his team’s garage, and was happy to continue the conversation as they walked. Her black race suit stood out in the sea of green, but most smiled at her as she passed. Before long, Stroll’s engineer was calling him. On the other side of the garage Alonso was getting out his car as the time ran out for the first session of the weekend.

“Mohn,” he called as she started to turn back to her walk, “how is your first weekend?”

Jo stopped short, smiling, “Well, the team’s happy so I can’t complain.”

He nodded, “And how are you?”

She looked out to the pit lane at the other crew, staff, and journalists milling about. “Nervous. There’s a lot of expectations riding on me right now.”

“Don’t worry about all of them. I’ve seen you race. You will excel here.”

Her eyebrows raised of their own accord, “You’ve seen me race?”

He grinned, “I went back and watched most of last year’s F2 season after Audi announced you as their driver. I like knowing who I am racing against.”

Johanna was shocked. Fernando Alonso, someone she had been watching since she was little, saw her as a competitor. An equal. “That’s…that’s really cool to hear, Alonso.”

Later that day, after the second session, he commented on her tweet about the car. Laughing at his response to Lance, she showed it to Oscar and Logan.

“She’s got a mentor. Oscar, how are we going to compete with her?” Logan over dramatically fell back on the couch in her driver room, “But seriously, that’s awesome.”

After the boys left, Johanna found herself doing the one thing everyone told her not to do. The comments on her tweet - and posts made by Audi Sport’s official accounts - were full of the same general sentiment. She didn’t belong here. She wasn’t good enough to compete against the other drivers. She was a PR stunt. She won’t last a year. Comment after comment it felt never-ending, and it wasn’t hard to believe the things people were writing about her. Nearly in tears, she texted her teammate. Mick was quick to respond.

Have you been reading your comments again?

c’mon, we’re not AlphaTauri

Minutes later she got a text from Fernando.

You may not see it when we are in our cars, but you have many fans on the grid

Talking to him helped quite a bit, and the two of them must of said something to her other friends because just about the second her conversation ended with Alonso she got a text from Oscar inviting her to come out with the rest of the grid kids; they had taken to calling themselves that, referring to the combined trios of 2019 and 2023 rookies, mostly because it annoyed Alex and George. While they were out, Lando pulled her aside.

“All of those comments are coming from idiots that can barely drive down the street. You have just as much merit to be here as Oscar and Logan, you hear? And if anyone around the paddock says something you just let us know.”

The others overheard and gathered closer around them. George smiled at her, “Yeah, Lewis has taught the rest of us a thing or two about correcting reporters. We have no problem putting someone in their place.”

Johanna was grateful for the reminder that she had support from the people that mattered.

[astriferias]

Hi! Could you do 7, 17 and 27 for the music ask? Thank you! :)

HI ANGEL HOW ARE YOU it's been ages??? we should catch up omg

7:A song to drive to

no this one's so hard tho? it depends on the season and the weather and my mood? sometimes i wanna do karaoke sometimes i wanna be Depressed Main Character etc. etc.

but gonna say drew barrymore by sza, i love to sing along with this one

also ryd and dark red by steve lacy

black sheep by metric (but the brie larson version from scott pilgram vs the world)

moodna, once with grace by gus dapperton

honorable mention goes to fleetwood mac's entire discography (especially tusk), my chemical romance's entire discography, frank ocean's album blonde, and pretty much any 60's-70s or 90s rock playlist on spotify

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

i just went to karaoke last weekend visiting my friends in nyc and it restored my soul, i guess my fave karaoke song is no scrubs by tlc but when you're with the right crowd what's up 4 non blondes really hits (but you have to do the over the top voices)

27:A song that breaks your heart

kettering by the antlers

landslide by fleetwood mac

(i literally have a spotify playlist called "depression level: critical" that's just these 2 songs lmfaooo)

smother by daughter

growing sideways by noah kahan

last words of a shooting star by mitski

moon song by phoebe bridgers

you by keaton henson

[1d1195]

omg im so sooo sorry cause I just finished PMSing so i know exactly what you’re talking about i hope you feel better soon bestie !!! Noah Kahan can cure everything I believe <3

honestly i just love your writing so much i need to go back and reread all of protection and then traditional i love them with my whole heart😭♥️

i LOVED the tiktok that went with committed as soon as i read that you kept listening to it while writing i knew i had to play it while i read lol but its crazy how you can draw so much insporation from something so simple, i think it just goes to show how talented you are

LMAO THE SNOWBLOWER MEMES IM CRYING HAHA i think thats like a super power honestly and i love that for you. youre so right it def hits different once the iced coffee comes out it makes EVERYTHING official

im SO sorry to hear you had a tough month bestie :( hopefully you have an AMAZING june and an even better summer, sending you the biggest warmest virtual hug ever cause u deserve it🫂 SO HAPPY YOU WENT BOOK SHOPPING, YOU MIGHT NOT NEED THEM BUT YOU DESERVED THEM !!! (im 100% the enabler in my friend group😭) may the pollen fade soon🫡

vry random but omggg i was going thorugh my old photos from like 1-2 years ago and i MISS my long hairrrr😭 its the middle of the night this should be the least of my worries lmfao but i cut it back in the fall and dont get me wrong !! i loved my short hair but now its at that awkward phase where its not long and its not short and i am NOT here for it :/

HAVE A GREAT DAY I LOVE YOU A TONNNNN !!!!!

~🎶

Okay I'm so amped about your Protection ask so I will save my thoughts on that for the next ask 😊

May was just long and awful. I'm very happy to be in June, I'm hoping things run smoothly. I feel way less stressed than I did last month. I'm sure I'll find new ways to be stressed but for now I'm going to revel in not being exhausted for the moment 😅

I didn't notice how stringy my hair looked until I saw it in a picture. I need to be better about going to get it cut more often but I've been going to the same hair dresser since I was 2 years old and it's an hour away from me now and a process lol But in the summer I always get a healthy amount chopped off because I run hot and my hair is like a scarf and insulating.

Thank you so much for the support of my book buying. Idk what I want to read next, there are a lot of options (especially now).

You're so sweet to compliment me. That man in the tiktok made it easy 😍 hehehehe

hope you have a good weekend planned! 💕

xoxo

[allylikethecat]

4, 13, and 48 for those asks!

-🥤

SMOOTHIE ANON!!! Thank you SO MUCH for sending me questions from the random asks ♡ list!! I hope you are doing well!! If anyone else wants to send some fun asks or reblog the list, it can be found HERE!

4. Are you organised?

Yes and no. Some aspects of my life are like ridiculously organized and others are a disaster. My kitchen right now? Looks like a bomb went off it's a mess. My office though? I know where absolutely everything is, and it's color coded. I hope to get the less organized parts of my life more organized though lol

13. What colour is your water bottle?

I am an extremely awful person. I am not responsible enough to have a water bottle. I think I lost like 9 Yeti's last summer and those suckers aren't cheap. I am a single use water bottle girlie BUT I do always make sure to recycle them after use. I do have that kinda clearish black water bottle though that they had at the NA SATVB tour stops though? That say The 1975 on them and have the box, I barely use it though because if I lose it I'm going to be devastated.

48. What is your favourite album?

In terms of The 1975 - ILIWYS, it came out when I was in college and the nostalgia is real. Things were so much simpler back when my college roommate and I were driving around blasting She's American at 2am because it was really important we got hash browns. I'm also currently (still) loving Stick Season by Noah Kahan, I grew up in New England and now live very far away from there and that entire album just feels like a love/hate letter to the environment that I grew up in and it's so scary to me how well he put the entire feeling into words. BUT my overall, all time favorite album is probably Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. My parents are huge Fleetwood Mac fans and that was passed onto my brother and I. The greatest concert I ever went to was Fleetwood Mac in Dublin in 2015- the entire lineup was there - including Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham

Thank you so much for sending this ask! These were some hard questions and I hope I will not be judged too harshly for my answers lol. I hope you had a fantastic weekend and that you have a wonderful week! Thank you for being the best dearest smoothie anon!

❤️Ally

[fluffairy]

I may not know Noah Kahan but I am so fucking proud of him. he's approximately my age and from the same area of VT/NH where I grew up -- I worked in a coffee shop in his local university town, he mentions our specific "mini Target" in one of his songs.

it sounds corny af but when I was growing up in Vermont, it didn't feel like I could have a lot of big dreams. It didn't feel like big things ever happened to anyone. I went to a failing high school in a dying industrial town which was the butt of everyone's joke -- no one had gotten into an Ivy League university in a decade, the farthest most people went for college was Boston. I had big dreams, and I was scared of everything -- mostly, of them not coming true.

Last weekend I drove to the local coffee shop in my VT hometown (recently opened in a bid to revitalize the downtown area) and listened to his remix of "Call Your Mom" featuring Lizzy McAlpine and looked at the surging river next to the abandoned iron factory against the gray cloudy sky and just felt all of it -- the love, the hatred, the feeling that this is just home, forever, and there's nothing that can change that. Noah gets all of this so exactly right and I'm so, so impressed by him and his songwriting and his insight into this weird fucking place where I grew up and where I never wanted to live and which is still a huge part of who I am today and which I do love, in my own way.

And now here we have an Upper Valley boy who is going to be playing Madison Square FUCKING Garden and all because he went back to his roots and put out music he actually liked and told the whole fucking world about his small town in Vermont. and it just makes me :') not much more to say except :')

proud of u, Noah <3

[potter-inthe-tardis]

Hey I'm (Hozier Anon) getting on a plane in like 12 hours, can u recommend me like a shit ton of songs for me to listen too during the flight? Idk, I trust ur music taste if u like Hozier, but thb I'm not a huge fan of the arctic monkeys but to each their own ya know, like I totally get how people like them, but they're not personally for me. Also, I can't remember if I recommended this to you or not, but I think you might maybe like Young Blood by Noah Kahan but idk I could be really wrong lmao

Hi Hozier Anon!!! Woo i love going on trips where are you going if you don’t mind me asking? And yes I’ll recommend you tons of songs, hopefully you’ll see this in time to listen to them on your trip! Thank you for trusting my taste, but you don’t like AM, how is that even possible to follow me and not fall in love with them! lol jk, tho i get it they aren’t for everyone, I’ll try to recommend a range of things!! and i’ll for sure check that song out after! now on to the recommendations!!

Folk-ish, probably the most Hozier like songs I can think of right now: When You’re Smiling and Astride Me by Father John Misty, Stay Gold by First Aid Kit, I Went Too Far or Runaway by Aurora (thinking about it she’s probably the most like Hozier out of all these people), Two Fingers by Jake Bugg, Prehistoric by Now, Now, Bloom by The Paper Kites, Do You Need My Love by Weyes Blood, Your Past Life As A Blast by Okkervil River, Wish I Knew You by The Revivalists, Angela by The Lumineers, and I’m Ready by Geographer 

General Indie music, some of my top faves: Lost On Me by Peace, Nobody by Mitski, Narcissist by No Rome, Adore by Savages, Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club, Decade of Decay by Spector, First To Know by Mystery Jets, Stupid in the Dark by Xiu Xiu, Daffodil Days by Oscar, and Perfect Couples by Belle & Sebastian  

More General Indie that are also some top faves, but this time they are more sad and/or chill sounding: From Under Liquid Glass by Peace, Mary by Big Thief, Don’t Delete The Kisses by Wolf Alice, Two Slow Dancers by Mitski, Dark Side Of The Gym by The National, Sea Creatures by Soak, Boyish by Japanese Breakfast, Let Me Follow by Son Lux, Like a Weight by The Jungle Giants, and Someone That Loves You by Honne   

Songs I’ve been into recently: Dance 4 Sorrow by Francis Lung, They’re Cheap by Skating Polly, Are You Bored Yet or Ice Cold Pool by Wallows (really Wallows entire new album), Maybe You’re The Reason by The Japanese House, Seventeen by Sharon Van Etten, Big Blue by Vampire Weekend, Dance with Me by Beabadoobee, and Dead of Night by Orville Peck  

K-pop, because it’s another big music interest of mine, if you’re not it to k-pop or don’t know enough to have an opinion on it, these are some bops that aren’t like aggressively k-pop, like idk how to describe them, just trust me: Baby by The Rose, Days Gone By by Day6, Wonderland by Dreamcatcher, You Are by Got7, Oh My by Seventeen, Where Are You by CLC, Katchup by Dalsooobin, Butterfly by Loona, and Fly Away With Me by NCT 127

Again, hear me out I know you said your not into AM, and these aren’t AM but they are associated with AM, but i am thinking of Hozier while picking the songs so trust me again: The Age of The Understatement, Meeting Place, The Dream Synopsis or Sweet Dreams TN by The Last Shadow Puppets, Telepathy, Darkness In Our Hearts, or Loaded by Miles Kane, and Glass in the Park or Stuck on the Puzzle by Alex Turner    

Okay, i think that’s enough songs, i counted it and it’s 59 songs, oh my god, I understand if you don’t get to all of them, I may have gone a little over board with this list, but there is a lot to choose from and maybe hopefully you’ll find a few new favorite songs!!!

[underthestars0]

July 15, 2019

Wow. It's been a while since I've only had 3 days to catch you up on. Also just so you know, I had to choose between writing or reading for the last 20 minutes before I go to bed and this is what I chose. Trying to make up for the lost times I guess!

This past weekend was nothing it was supposed to be. I woke up Saturday feeling good. It was sunny and I had 3 hours to get everything ready for a weekend in Quebec city for the festival. I made lunches, got myself ready, packed up my stuff and got to my friend's place with just a few minutes late.

From her place, we drove to a city on the shore of Quebec where a family friend lives. He was landing us his place for the weekend which was awesome. The road went well and we got to catch up. It took less than two hours and a half which felt nice. Once there, we got settled, got ready and left for the festival.

Getting there was a challenge. We were supposed to take the ferry by foot and park the car on the side we were on but couldn't find parking. So, we took it with the car. It was short and once there, after getting stuck in traffic, we found a parking.

Then, we had to walk to the festival which took a while and wait in line in the sun for 1 hour. Once in, we had to deal with a mean crowd until the show started. It wasn't ideal but felt worth it. The opening acts came on and were really good. I was still eager for Imagine Dragons to come on though.

And then it all happened. It started to rain. But liking pouring rain. But the show started and it was epic. Everyone was wet but dancing and singing and having a good time. The singer took off his shirt and came out in the crowd to be in the rain with us. It was awesome.

And then it all happened. They had to stop the show after 2 songs because of a storm. That said storm was far and afterwards I feel like evacuating us the way they did was probably more dangerous. We had to get out of there while not seeing anything, being wet and disappointed and not knowing were we were going. Turns out we ran in the wrong direction for a while and ended up having to back track for over 1km. It took us over 1 hour of walking to make it to the car and 1 hour in traffic to get back to where we were staying. Needless to say it was a disappointing evening.

Sunday was better. We got ready after sleeping in, packed up the car and went to the old Quebec. We had lunch there and chilled for a while. We settled at a picnic table and played games in the sun. We saw the artist we were there for do his soundcheck and it was a nice afternoon. Then came the opening act. It was a little awkward because we were first row and didn't know them but they were good. Then though came Noah Kahan and he was great. I've seen him a lot lately but he never fails to deliver.

Once his show was done, we got to the car and the drive home began. It actually went smoothly. It wasn't my turn to drive anymore so I chilled in the passenger seat for over 2 hours. I got to my house after driving the 20 minutes from my friend's place to mine and then I went to bed after showering.

This morning it was hard to get out of bed. I had to though because it was Monday and work was calling. I got there more than on time since there was no traffic at all and then I got to work. I was actually quite busy all day which made the day pass by fast. Usually afternoons can be slower but today it was all good.

After work, I drove to the nearest Walmart and did my groceries. I hate it. Doing it alone scared the fuck out of me. But I did it. And it went ok. In 15 minutes I was in and out and driving home. There was no traffic on the way home so it went well.

Once here, I unpacked my stuff and caught up with my roommates. My mom had made me dinner that I had brought from home so I ate that and it was great. I chilled in the living room for a while then I showered and watched a Jane with my roommate. Now, bed is calling because I need to catch up on that missing sleep.

Until next time,

L