#I will not know peace until I have the full context for this scene

[archerdork]

the implications of these two 0.5 second shots from the bts has had me in a chokehold since I first saw em. I’m going insane. just??? look at them. standing on the porch of a abandoned house. romantic sunset. talking about their future, mayhaps? finally having A Conversation, perchance?

[the-stars-in-your-eyes-if]

☀︎NO DEMO YET☀︎ PLAYLIST ☀︎

☀︎SYNOPSIS☀︎

Your childhood friend has always dreamed of the big scene, of the crowd singing your lyrics, of a world tour. Max always wanted for your bands to succeed together. Until...

Well, it is was all a big stupid joke.

The real world caught up to you: you are no longer the naive child you once were. Writing a Grammy worthy album isn’t as easy as it seems and the big scene is nowhere to be seen. You navigate through life as you can, you party with your friends every Saturday and write music all week. You enjoy each one of your gigs – big and small. Your burning love for music doesn’t seem to fade. Your band brought together a solid community that crosses borders. You have fun with your band and it’s all that matter.

But you can’t help but fantasize that, someday, you’ll be at the top of the world…

Big stupid joke, right?

✮BATTLE OF THE BANDS IS BACK!✮

You thought 2020 was the end of us, uh?

You couldn’t be more wrong!

The worldwide known music contest is finally back!

We carefully chose the mentors of our beloved participants. This year will be all pink…

Make way for Pink Riot!!!

Application open to foreigners (check our website)

RATED +18

TW: explicit language, (occasional) violence, transphobia (one character is misgendered but just in one scene), use of alcohol and drugs, (soft) sexual content, parental abuse (flashback), depression, self-harm (warning will be in the "next" button), mention of suicide (same as self-harm)

☀︎FEATURES☀︎

– Customize your MC’s appearance and personality. You decide of their public image and persona.

– Your choices will define your band’s public image and popularity. Are they loved? Do they make underground or mainstream music? Are they the parents’ worst nightmare? The reference of rebellious kids?

– Decide your band’s aesthetic. Do they have one to begin with? Or do they each dress in their own style?

– Write your own lyrics!

– Engage in romantic affairs…

– ...or don’t, your choice!

– Are you going to help the people that cross your path or do you only care about yourself?

☀︎A BIT OF CONTEXT☀︎

Of course, this story is set on Earth.

But.

Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, islamophobia, antisemitism and fatphobia will get you in court.

You are not very well seen if you do one of those things and, if you’re a celebrity/politician/public figure, it can (and will) ruin your career.

I know that this isn’t realistic at all but I need to believe that, one day, this will be real. My characters have and will go through enough trauma and bad moments, I want to give them some peace.

And it feels really good to make a world where those things will ruin the oppressor and not the oppressed.

☀︎ROs☀︎

THE HERMIT — Diesel Di Angelo (they/them)

Diesel is the soul of the band, they bring a sort of osmosis. Their calm energy somehow has a place on stage and is liked by everyone.

Diesel took their first steps in the music world with Max and MC. It was just the three of them before the band grew bigger. Diesel is a talented guitarist, they worked hard to get where they are and they don’t stop improving. They are quite reserved and don’t talk about their feelings… Who knows what lies beneath their shell?

THE MISCHIEVOUS DRUMMER — Roman Lupin (he/him)

If MC is the backbone of the band, Roman is its beating heart. He has no problem to make the public jump from the back of the stage. He’s a spark that will light a bonfire.

Roman learned to play drum from his mother. He went to the conservatory but he didn’t stuck with it. Since a young age, Roman wants to have a band and to perform all around the world. Roman is full of life and he’s the human version of a sunshine. Is there something behind that smile or is he genuinely happy?

THE LITTLE MERMAID — Isra Wafa (she/they)

Isra brings magic to the band. Her mermaid low voice is unique and enchants the public. If you think you’ve heard good bass players, just wait until you see Isra on stage.

When Isra was a child, their parents let them chose an instrument to learn and to their surprise, she chose the bass. They fell in love with this low instrument. They navigated from band to band before settling for this band her boyfriend was part of. Isra keeps ignoring their responsibilities toward her family. For how long can they pretend it doesn’t exist?

THE REBEL ANGEL — Archibald “Archie” de Beaumont (they/he)

Even with a classical training, Archie managed to switch to their band’s genre without too much troubles. All the members affirm it: Archie is a gift from the universe.

Archie popped out of nowhere to audition to be the band’s keyboardist. He was the most talented person they saw all day and the chemistry was very much here. The band doesn’t know much about Archie, but it doesn’t matter. They are a good person and a dear friend. It wouldn’t change anything to learn about their life before the band. Right?

THE MANAGER — Cal Bremont (he/him)

Cal works in the shadow to make the band shines under the spotlight of the biggest stages. The band claims it, he is the best manager you could hope for.

Cal takes his job very seriously, he has a perfect work ethic. Maybe he is a bit too close to his clients and they may not just be clients… But, well, no one is complaining. Cal is very secretive about his personal life, he never mentioned his family or anything else. Can he maintain his relationship with his friends and still keep his life a mystery?

THE RISING STAR — Max Larash (she/her or they/them)

Max moved their band to the other side of the world and they managed to impose themselves on the west coast scene. We’ll keep an eye on them as they’ll compete against their former friends…

Because of artistic divergences, Max decided to leave the band when Isra and Roman joined them and they created their own band with high school friends. Max had big dreams for Sleep Walking and their friends in MC’s band, but it didn’t turn out as Max has hoped. Sleep Walking left the country for the USA without their friends and they intentionally lost all contacts with them…

THE MUSE — Olivia “Ollie” Madden (she/her)

You may have never see her face but, as a comics fan, Ollie Madden is a name far from unknown. None other than the comics artist and writer of the most followed comics, Ollie is still a mystery to her fans.

Olivia works for Blue Pegasus, a major comics book publisher, since years. She was the comics artist on a lot of books, it took her a lot of hard work to finally publish her own series. Olivia isn’t only a famous artist, she also is a single mother. She’s taking care of a lot by herself and it often leads to forget about herself. There is nobody to remind her she’s human and not a superhero…

THE PRINCESS — Katharina "Kat" Deluca (she/her)

We don’t need to present Katharina Deluca anymore. Success and awards seem to follow every movies our Lady K touched. She confessed that her break from the cameras and greens screens was to be present for her best friend… Athena Pierce.

Also known as the Princess, Katharina is one of the biggest actresses of her generation. Between two roles worthy of an Oscar, she is also a model and the face of the infamous designer brand: Beaumont-Griffin. She is in the industry since she was 12. But, behind closed doors, Kat doesn’t seem to have a joyful life… What is she hiding from the world?

GODDESS OF MUSIC — Athena Pierce (she/her)

Athena is a legend in the industry. Everybody wants to work with her and Pink Riot. Her voice will shatter your world, there is a before and an after Athena Pierce.

Athena is the lead singer and front woman of Pink Riot. She was a star child and charmed America with her angelic voice. But, with the creation of Pink Riot, Athena is no longer the little angel of the USA. She’s now known as a freaking rebel and she is quite provocative. She flirts with the limits all the time. Her persona is loved all around the world, but who is the real Athena?

☀︎CANON EVENTS☀︎

You can customize a lot of things regarding your MC and your band. But there are a few things that are canon.

— MC is born and lives in France. Where exactly is up to you. The only place MC can’t have grow up in is Paris. (I headcanon them growing up in Perpignan or Montpellier)

— The names of MC parents can’t be choose. I tried to make them as common as possible so you can choose their origins. MC is French but their parents can be from wherever you want!

— MC's age can’t be choose.

— MC is friends with Max and Diesel since they are 6. They were in school together.

— MC’s first band is with Max and Diesel.

— During high school, MC met Roman and Isra. They joined MC’s band but Max didn’t like the kind of music their band was into so they formed their own band with other high school friends (Sleep Walking).

— The OG band (MC-Max-Diesel) exist until the fateful break up.

— MC’s band and Sleep Walking always were there for each other and gave mutual support. They also create songs and musics together, some are only instrumental and other are with vocal.

— MC speaks French and English. Feel free to add a third and even a fourth language.

— MC lives with Isra and Roman since they finished high school.

[friskarm]

tentatively putting my thoughts into the tag. for context i am an anime-only watcher but i've been really, really enjoying the mage exam arc and i was definitely a little surprised to find out that this arc has a lot of people frustrated!

one of the strengths of this arc, i think, is seeing how frieren interacts with characters and personalities we've not seen her encounter before. fern and stark are both relatively placid as people; they're generally content to go along with what frieren says.

lawine and kanne are two very strong personalities that frieren initially doesn't know how to deal with at all! they have a whole thing going on and frieren's choice is to. not handle it at all. rather, she spends much of her time quietly observing the two of them until she can speak with each of them individually and figure them out, just a bit. she really struggles to get a grasp on the situation until she does that; it's lawine and kanne who are acting first within their team.

then, secondly -- frieren's plan is so. elf with a lot of time to spare. the impact of the time limit is felt so strongly by every human character on the field; everyone is in such a rush! fern's team are stoked they caught a stille so early. the team that attacks them are desperate to steal it asap. after lawine freezes the lake, the other teams are desperately trying to thaw it, for a quick solution.

frieren, though? frieren's solution takes a shitton of time and involves her essentially meditating by a pond for god knows how many hours. it's such a frieren plan; i feel like only someone with a relationship with time like frieren does would come up with it.

tldr; frieren's capacity to form relationships and understand people and her relationship with time are shown off in a really interesting way wrt the way frieren solves the stille problem.

that, and... it seems a bit silly to say this about a show with a certain character in the title but... i do not feel that frieren is exclusively about frieren. it is certainly a story about her adventures but frieren is by no means the only important character! fern is also there! and stark but hes on vacation. so let's talk about fern.

the one fight scene fern has is so unbelieveably crunchy to me bc we learn so much about the world (now) and about the world (part)/frieren's view on magic from it! the girl she fights has really impressive magic; we know that this is generally considered a time of peace, the demon lord is dead, etc. magic is not necessarily a means to an end. i wonder if this means magic has entered a sort of renaissance? a time period after a period of great upheaval, where social structure is thrown out the window and great advances are made in technology, science - and maybe magic!

the way fern uses magic is very indicative of how frieren feels about magic. fern says (that frieren said) that "this is enough to defeat mages of this era", which is so interesting to me bc yes, ofc, fern does win! with her simple magic and full auto fire. but does that automatically mean fern is a better mage? it's complicated...

you hear a lot about the different philosophies of people who use magic in these episodes, and what i'm really interested in seeing is mr war guy meet frieren, bc i think they'd be the most interesting contrast -- a warrior of the past, and a warrior of today.

specifically bc -- frieren is basically a custom-designed warrior. the way she can mask her mana is very specifically designed to be able to weaponised against demons, flamme did that to her very purposefully. the way she's trained fern is also indicative of that; fern's immense firepower and stamina being "enough to defeat mages of this era" without being flashy so to speak indicate, at least to me, that this sort of thing was common in frieren's time! but this is a type of magic very specifically made for battle against a very specific enemy.

no wonder frieren likes collecting weird spells so much... i wonder if she's had much time at all in the past to play around with magic for the sake of anything but fighting and training to fight?

[shiut]

How much did Yakou know?

Very long and detailed analysis of Yakou's involvement in the plot beneath the cut.

Yakou is an interesting character to me. He gets his own mildly insightful short story about his detective origins. However, I crave to think that there's gotta be more to him than just the kind of pathetic (affectionate) stressed out dad-like figure that mostly kind of nags and bosses Yuma around for the majority of the game.

Ok, it sounds like I'm ragging on him, but he does have an occasional side of him in dire situations where he shows a selfless loyalty and trust in his team that proves he takes his leadership position seriously, even if he does really rock the irresponsible mess look. And he gets to be cool in his own chapter for a minute.

But there is a moment that sticks out to me, especially in hindsight after finishing the game, and that's the prologue where you get your first and probably most substantial talk with him.

He says that he does not want Kanai Ward to change practically within the same breath where he explains how terribly he's treated as a detective in this horrendously corrupt murder infested police state.

Although he makes it clear that he has a deep personal affection and nostalgic attachment to this city that shows a bias for why he would say this, we hear from multiple people throughout the game that Kanai Ward has not been the same in recent years as it has been in the past that Yakou has rooted his love in.

So why does he feel as if any change to the current state of Kanai Ward would disrupt the "peace and quiet" it deserves?

Unless he knows something about the city that's just so fundamentally irreparable that this is the closest to peace and quiet that it'll ever get again, and trying to fix it would only somehow destroy it.

Everything about the rooftop scene, from talking about the city, to Shinigami commenting on how ominous he feels to her, to the fact that he's the person who explains the rumor that the rain affects peoples' bodies.

Highlighted text tends to be easy to overlook, but I can't help but feel like there's some significance to his usage of "illusion in the rain". It's like he knows something that nobody else can see (and an obvious foreshadowing of how the rain is one of the main means of covering up Kanai Ward's mystery).

But this segues into the themes of his later chapter which also focuses on Vivia, who mirrors Yakou in a lot of ways, beyond just being another guy who muses on about peace and quiet.

Speaking of, a mirror is what Vivia uses as a metaphor for the benefit of blissful ignorance and the potential catastrophic dangers of the painful truth.

For the purposes of this chapter, he is explaining the type of pain and the effect on Yuma's world view that uncovering Yakou's crime will incur. It also acts as a setup for the development of Yuma's conviction that he will later need to use in the final chapter of the game. But the distorted reality the Vivia explains in the mirror does call me back to Yakou's "illusion in the rain" comment.

Vivia also explains that the truth that Yuma uncovers for truth's sake will lead to the destruction of the world. While he could be referring to the world and humanity in general, in the context of this chapter, world can mean a lot of things though, such as Yuma's innocence in the way he views the world as he knows it.

Or namely, from Makoto's point of view, it could also mean the destruction of the homunculi and the only version of the world that Makoto believes they can exist in.

Did Yakou come to a similar conclusion as Makoto based on what he found out?

Like Vivia in chapter 4, who did not want the culprit to be revealed, it seemed like Yakou had the full intention of not cooperating with investigating the Kanai Ward mystery until he was forced to by a directive from Number One. Even so, he came off as if encouraging the detectives to drag their feet on it for the sake of staying out of trouble.

But we know that he is not lazy, unmotivated, or stupid. In a world where you're competing with people who are fast-tracked into the WDO if they have literal super powers, Yakou was inducted by pure detective skill. He had definitely been spending a lot of his time laying low and investigating Kanai Ward himself, because he didn't trust the UG or the WDO if they turned their attention to the city.

Yakou already knew about the homunculus research in some way.

Even if he didn't know about everyone being a homunculus, he at least knew enough that he believed that the city itself would be shattered by the involvement of the UG and WDO.

And then we get to chapter 5 with the mindless zombie homunculi.

Except, they're not all completely mindless. As a matter of fact, I had come to notice something about all the non-aggressive homunculi: they all seemed to have some degree of awareness about Amaterasu's research.

The fake Zilch, who was one of Yomi's closest advisors and knew about all of Dr Huesca's and Yomi's activity in the lab concerning homunculus research, and was implied to be the one who killed Yakou's wife for whistleblowing. Fink, who was propositioned by Makoto himself to infiltrate the lab, and who was then killed by Makoto for 'knowing too much'. Dr Huesca, who was the head researcher for the homunculi. And the former CEO, who was the prime overseer of the research.

And then there was Yakou, who gives Yuma the video evidence of Dr Huesca's death at the hands of the homunculi as he explained the results of the experiment. The easy explanation is that Makoto planted this video on the zombie Yakou to be given to Yuma in the restricted area.

However, another thing that the non-aggressive zombies had in common is that they seemed to be stuck thinking about what seems to be their final thoughts before their death, barring the former CEO who was unusually lucid compared to all of them.

Considering this, I feel like Yakou's final thoughts were for Yuma to expose the truth about the homunculi for him, and to give him the DVD as the key evidence he needed. Whether Makoto gave Yakou this video, or if Yakou already had this video himself, his final thought before dying was to make sure Yuma got it.

I always thought it was a bit strange for Yakou to go and decide to murder Dr Huesca at the slightest provocation by Yomi, and then had this whole complicated coverup plan. If Kurumi could look into Yakou's background for only a day and come to the conclusion that Amaterasu had killed his wife for whistleblowing, then Yakou himself would've definitely already known and could've tried to kill Dr Huesca a long time ago.

I don't think the provocation was by Yomi's letter. I believe at some point, he had found out that Huesca and Yomi could possibly leak information about the homunculus research. He decided to kill Huesca as a gambit reveal Yomi's involvement with leaking research before it could get out into the public and destroy Kanai Ward, and he entrusted this truth to Yuma and the rest of his detectives. Yakou knew that the lie that they were living, the one that was keeping Kanai Ward together, wasn't going to last much longer.

This conveniently aligned with Makoto's motives to oust Yomi. Makoto, the one who also knew that Yomi would cause the lie holding Kanai Ward together to unravel, and who happened to introduce Fink to Yakou. Fink thought that Yakou did not know about Makoto orchestrating their meeting, and perhaps he was right in that Yakou didn't know that it was Makoto specifically, but maybe Makoto was the one who tipped Yakou off to Amaterasu's homunculus research possibly being leaked and may have even given Yakou the DVD.

Makoto may not have exactly manipulated Yakou. It just simply that both Yakou and Makoto similarly knew that the UG sticking their nose into Kanai Ward about the homunculus research was incredibly dangerous. Makoto simply gave Yakou the ultimatum and means to stop Yomi. The difference is that Makoto's goal was to get rid of Yomi and assume full control of the city in order to further suppress its secret, but Yakou's goal was the provide the truth to his detectives in order to fix things.

And I wrote all this BEFORE the Yakou DLC came out.

Where we find out that Yakou has had the prototype cure for homunculi the whole time. And depending on whether or not his wife here is a ghost or a hallucination, it seems like she had always known that there would be a need to regenerate the zombified brain cells of homunculi. Yakou might've been biding time not only to try and figure out how to reconcile the whole homunculus research issue without the UG destroying Kanai Ward, but maybe also for someone to finish research on this medicine.

TLDR; Yakou had always known about the homunculus research and was hiding it because he believed that the info getting leaked would cause the destruction of Kanai Ward by the hands of the UG. In the end, he figured out that the secret would not keep up for much longer, and his plot in chapter 4 wasn't for revenge, but to entrust that Yuma and the rest of his detectives would be able to uncover the truth and work out a way to save Kanai Ward.

[fleet-of-fiction]

My Truth

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi...

My name is Lucie. You might remember me from my old blog, lightmylove-gvf. It started out as a really fun, wholesome space. Full of love and laughter. I shared pictures and gif sets and works of fiction. Made so many wonderful connections with many different people. It really was a wonderful place to be. Until it wasn't. And although I've tried my best to step away from certain controversies, it seems that people still have an issue with me and still have my name in their mouth. So I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe move past some untruths and you can all make informed decisions on whether you'd like to continue following me here on my current blog. Which is also a place of peace and love, I might add. And always has been.

Anyway, read on if you'd like. And if not, that's ok too.

I think it's fair to say that I've always been one of the more "controversial" writers around here. I have never shied away from difficult storytelling, and I never will. But what started out as a completely separate issue quickly snowballed into what could only be described as a personal vendetta.

I'm happy to discuss anything within my writing that might be of issue to a reader. A particular blog took offence to a scene I had written in a chapter of my fic, Backstage. I happened to disagree with this blog, and I tried my best to let them know whilst I understood their stance I did not agree with their point of view. I took this opinion to a discord server I was part of along with several other blogs here to see if they could shed more light on the issue.

The scene in question involved a fictionalised version of Josh and the reader in bed. They had gone to bed together with the full narrative of the reader known. How she was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. They had been growing close. And Josh began to touch reader as they slept side by side. We get an insight into the readers thoughts during this moment, and they are very much with consent and enjoying the experience. It's meant to be a nod to what is to come. That their bodies are in tune with each other, even if their words are yet to speak of it. I think a lot of experiences in life play out like that. Where we don't always know what to say, but find ourselves in situations where our bodies can do the talking. Anyway, I digress...

There was a lot of opinions flying around in the server. Some were in favour of my opinion, others opposed it and were in favour of the anon who had sent me alot of hateful messages regarding their view that this scene was nothing more than sexual harassment. I explained in the server that I myself had been the victim of sexual assault/harassment. That I knew what it felt like to get into bed with someone I thought that I could trust only to have them break that trust in the most heinous way. I tried to explain that I didn't think this particular scene was that.

One sentence that I said was screenshotted and shared around with absolutely zero context to it and nothing of the rest of the conversation added to the screenshot. Just one sentence that I'd said which pertained to saying that I agreed that people should be able to get in bed with others and have full rights to their own bodies. I was AGREEING with that. It's there in black and white. But the narrative was skewed by people who didn't want to understand me. I tried to explain about how my personal experiences often lied within power imbalances when it came to things like S/H. But in the end, they gave me no chance to explain myself properly. They didn't want to. They'd seen and heard enough and made up their mind.

But it didn't stop there. People who I thought were my friends blocked me. Told me I was disgusting. Told me I was playing the victim. Because I didn't issue a grovelling apology. But how could I? I wasn't sorry. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd poured my heart out to them about my trauma and abuse and how in my own experience I didn't view it as the same as what I'd written. I'd put trigger warnings. I'd made sure people had the right to information before proceeding!

I had blogs who had never interacted with me block me. Call me disgusting. Tell me fuck myself. I had anons telling me to kill myself. Anons telling me that I was a rapist and...for some reason...a peadophile sympathiser? I didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. I literally wrote two consenting adults touching each other in a bed they'd both gotten into...consentingly.... with very obvious (although unspoken at that point) feelings for each other. But now, that wasn't the issue. The issue was my own personal feelings on sexual harassment.

I'm the first to admit that I am perhaps not an easily digestable person to some. But I know that I am kind. I know that I have spent hours proof reading and editing fics for other writers on here because they asked for my help. I've supported people though personal issues, and I've championed the work of other writers because I truly believed that this space was a wonderful space for creativity. I still do, to some degree. I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can be a little head strong when it comes to protecting people's rights to free speech. I understand that I'm not palatable as a person to people who don't agree that the freedom to write should come with the freedom to write anything.

To those of you who never ever spoke to me and are still sharing things about me with the hash tag #fuck you lucie.... to you I say why have you jumped on that bandwagon? You do not know me. You know only what you've heard from people who were intent on pushing a narrative that was their own. Not mine. You don't know that these people were once my friends. And they shared my work and enjoyed it as I enjoyed theirs. They told me things about themselves and I was happy to know them. These people who then decided I was a terrible human being. Based on one thing I said that was taken completely out of context. It's almost as if they have shared it so many times now with their own backstory that it's a canon truth. I'm the worst human to ever walk the earth. Forget about all the good things I did for you. I'm scum.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking boo hoo what a victim complex. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a victim complex. Like everyone else here I have mental health problems and I'm on the spectrum. I have trauma. As part of my adhd I have rejection sensitivity which means when I'm cornered I tend to fight back with justifications as to why I behaved the way I did. I guess that's what I'm doing now. Trying to explain myself. Again. Although what good it'll do, I dont know. And I think right now, it no longer matters.

And yet I still see that I'm being talked about. I'm still getting accused of sending anons to other blogs when I was literally just existing here in my peaceful little corner, everyone who had ever taken issue with me blocked or unfollowed. I didn't know what was going on over there, I was trying to just enjoy reading and writing. My anxiety could never cope with sending a hateful anon, I know there's ways of finding out where they come from and revealing the blogs who send them and it's like that story we're all told about peeing in the pool and turning the water a different colour. I don't fuck with that shit.

If, for any particular reason, I've ever hurt anyone here to them I do issue a heartfelt apology because it has never been and never will be my intention. I said some awful things in the heat of the moment when I was receiving alot of hate and death threats regarding the AI edit a friend of mine made with audio from one of my fics. I was under so much pressure. I wanted it all to just stop. I just wanted everyone to be able to enjoy whatever made them happy. I am sorry for the things I said during that time. Im a human being. I am flawed. However..

I do not believe that people lose their rights to their body the minute they climb into bed with someone. And that's precisely what I say in the infamous screenshot. I just hope for anyone who has seen it that they now understand that it was said with love and understanding and support. I would never disregard anyones trauma or triggers. Never. And that is why I believe in giving people all the information they require before consuming media and art.

With all this said, I sincerely hope that it's clear that all I want to do is write. It's all ive ever done and all I will ever really be any good at doing. I'm proud of the fics I've put out here on my old blog and this one too. I don't care about how many notes they get, just that one or two people read it and enjoy it. And I hope you all know that I'm a nice person, too. So are a lot of blogs who have been villainised recently. This witch hunt has got to stop. We have got to start listening to each other with peace and understanding and not jump to conclusions. Not make people out to be something they simply aren't.

I want to curate a loving space here. A safe and nurturing space for anyone to feel free within. I want people to know they can jump in my asks and know that I will love them. I want everyone, of every race and every gender and ever creed of this world to know they are welcome and accepted here. Like a wise man that we all know and love once said. I'm not the person they say I am. I never was. And I think some of them know that. It is my greatest hope that any of you who wish to stick around get to know me for yourselves.

It is my greatest wish that those blogs who are still spouting hate about me really grow and heal. Or even better, pop on over and get to know me? I think it's important to understand why you might hate someone and not just from unreliable sources. If you think that I am some sort of s/a supporter who revels in writing that sort of thing then I'd be glad to dispel that myth.

I'm not going to speak on this again because I feel that I've moved on. This blog is my creative outlet and always will be. And as I've stated above its a safe and loving space for all. I'm reclaiming the fun. And hopefully some of you will stick around for it. And if not, I bid you a farewell. With nothing but love in my heart.

[onewingedsparrow]

The first time the Cee Bee Siblings look at each other in Prime

VS

The last time the Cee Bee Siblings look at each other in Prime

The opposite mood of these bookends...! The storyboarding told in the colors of the scenes and posture of the characters...! (I'm not crying, you're crying) Warning, this is a long post. ;) I have a lot to say about the Cee Bee Siblings and the storyboarding of Transformers: Prime! I already fell in love with the first Cee Bee bookends I noticed earlier in "Darkness Rising Part 1," as well as earlier in "Predacons Rising." Discovering those bookends made me want to search for more, and I'm delighted to find these ones here. This particular pair of bookends above will always be one of my favorites. It's beautiful how many times Arcee and Bumblebee share a glance in Transformers: Prime. You just know from how often they look at each other, and the moments wherein they look at each other, that they share a long history with all the sharp secondhand embarrassment; snarky, sassy teasing; and silly inside jokes that come packaged with a close relationship. The opposing contexts that bring Arcee and Bumblebee to glance at each other in these bookends here are fascinating.

Prior to both these snapshots, Team Prime was engaged in a hectic, draining battle directly linked to death.

In "Darkness Rising Part 1," at the beginning of TFP, Arcee was grieving the recent loss of Cliffjumper when she got caught in a scuffle with Eradicons, a scuffle into which Bumblebee and Bulkhead then jumped to help her out. In "Predacons Rising," at the end of TFP, Team Prime was grieving the immediate loss of Optimus, upon learning that he willingly merged the Matrix of Leadership and therefore his own spark with the Allspark. In the first situation, Bumblebee and Arcee have a tough time battling the Eradicons. Exhaustion from grief, the distraction of the unplanned spectating humans, and other factors take a toll on their fighting. Despite the fact that the battle is 2 vs 2, and despite the fact that Arcee and Bumblebee are usually a highly efficient team, the Cee Bee Siblings are locked in a stalemate with their opponents, until Bulkhead (belatedly) shows up and the Eradicons (wisely) choose to skedaddle. Once the Eradicons leave, Bumblebee hunches over to catch his breath, and Arcee dryly shoots up at Bulkhead, "What took you?" to which Bulkhead replies, "Traffic." At this, Arcee and Bumblebee share a look, their first shared glance of many in the series, and the scene ends. While this "Traffic" joke is amusing to the audience (who knows full well what it's like to be stuck in traffic), I don't think Arcee and Bumblebee's reaction was tied to the humor beyond the fourth wall. Rather, what I see here between them is a glance of relief mingled with grief. After all, if Team Prime hadn't been delayed earlier, whether by traffic or otherwise, they would have been able to save Cliffjumper from death. In the second situation, Team Prime has just listened to Optimus Prime's farewell before his final flight, directly into the Well of All Sparks. While they stand on the edge of the Well, hundreds of lights, new sparks, burst forth, scattering like fireworks as new life at last returns to the once-desolate Cybertron. Team Prime stares, awed at the spectacle, until one especial spark catches their notice—a spark that dances above them, glowing with blue and red, while Optimus' voiceover closes the cinematic storybook that is Transformers: Prime. Only then—only then—do Arcee and Bumblebee look at each other. Where once grief over Optimus' passing darkened their faces, now, in their expressions, there is simply joy. Joy for the new beginning of which Optimus speaks. Joy for the knowledge that while death is an ending, death is not the end. Joy for the freedom they've found, for the war they've won, for the peace they've protected. No more do their wings droop from weariness; no, their wings stay upraised and alert. Gone is the exhaustion that once clouded their eyes; now, there is only light. In place of the frowns that they once held, smiles grace their faces. Though once they stood under the dusk of Earth, a striking symbolism for the darkness rising, now, instead, on Cybertron, they catch the glow of the brilliant sparks above, illuminated by the very future they fought so hard to see. Both these bookends were touched by death and grief beforehand. But the beauty of the contrast, the hope that shines in TFP, is that no matter how deep the tragedy, no matter how dark the hour, the ending will always be brighter than the beginning. Life has returned to Cybertron. Peace has ended the war. It's truly amazing to me how the very spark of Transformers: Prime can be encapsulated in something as simple as two passing glances between Bumblebee and Arcee.

[ffb6c1lover]

Clothing colour symbolism in The White Queen

So. I was looking at this image and wondering why Richard stands out so much in terms of colour and what it might mean, which led me down a rabbit hole. I discovered that there's one too many coincidences to be casual.

So, here's my theory about each character and what their clothing says about them and their motives.

Richard Duke of Gloucester

Richard, throughout the first episodes of the show, is mostly seen wearing either blue or Edward's trademark colours (cream, white). Blue signifies loyalty, a trademark of Richard ("Loyaulté me lie") and that loyalty is to Edward.

After Edward's death, he is seen wearing a darker shade of blue (blue + black = loyalty and grief). He is wearing full black after the deaths of Edward his son and of Anne.

Edward IV

Edward wears mostly cream or beige. It could be interpreted as white (purity), in some cases even as yellow (generosity). I haven't found much about cream: maybe it was normal nobility clothing, even though the most common association with nobility is royal purple.

The most interesting thing about his outfits is when other characters match him to show their loyalty to him, most notably Elizabeth and Richard, but also George after his betrayal of Warwick.

Sometimes, him and Elizabeth alternate, with one scene where one is wearing cream and the other light blue and viceversa, which may represent their loyalty to each other. I think, but I am not sure, that the one who is wearing cream is the main focus of the scene, whereas the blue-wearer is showing their support. But I don't remember the context of the scenes, so this is just conjecture.

His colours are always light though, be it yellow or blue.

George Duke of Clarence

I would have expected George to wear a lot of green, considering it is the colour of envy, so I was quite surprised when I realised he didn't so much (he still does sometimes, though). I had noticed, however, that in his introduction scene, while both his brothers are wearing cream/beige (matching), he stands out with orange clothes.

What does orange represent? "Worthwhile ambition". Checks out.

He sheds the orange definitively by the time he joins Edward's side again (as shown in the top picture) and he wears progressively lighter clothing, possibly showing his redemption? By the time of Isabelle's death and his own, he is only wearing a white chemise. He is visibly wearing the chemise under black clothes (grief) at the masked party.

But, do you know who wears a lot of green?

Richard Earl of Warwick

Do I need to explain this one? He envies both Edward and the Woodvilles for the power they hold.

He wears some yellow, which represents generosity, so long as he is keeping up friendly appearances and up until his betrayal of Edward. He does not, however, wear white, because the last thing he wants is peace. He is just acting like it for what he thinks is Edward's sake.

Queen Elizabeth

White is the colour of peace (in the first scene she is trying to make peace with Edward). We also see specks of blue (loyalty), probably to her dead husband.

However, she is most often seen wearing yellow (generosity), most notably at her coronation, white (purity) and light blue (loyalty). Much like Richard, she often matches with Edward.

Queen Anne

Anne is quite funny. She changes colours quite a lot, sometimes matching Richard, her sister or her father, other times not matching anyone else.

I think it shows her loyalty is to the people she loves and not to loyalty itself, unlike her husband. However, she is also ambitious and follows her own agenda, but she's always careful not to step on any toes.

She is loyal, generous, reliable and sometimes envious, which all shows in her clothing throughout the show.

Literal Queen.

Margaret Beaufort

Say what you want about her, but I am in love. Her strength of character is incredible and she is so funny, but this is unrelated to the post.

Black = the colour of grief. Her character arc is loss and gain, but the latter only comes into play in the literal last minute of the show. So loss of everything and subsequent grief.

Red = the colour of martyrdom. She is the most pious and self-sacrificial character in the whole show.

Blue = undying loyalty to the House of Lancaster, despite the risk it poses to her life and that of the people around her.

Jacquetta Woodville

Blue all the way down. Her loyalty is not to a house, or to a King, but to her daughter.

Isabelle Neville, Duchess of Clarence

Lots of green, like her dad, but mostly in a lighter shade, showcasing innocence.

She is also quite envious of Elizabeth, but not to the point of starting a war about it, so less envious (therefore, less green) than her father.

In her case, green might even represent youth.

Anthony Woodville

Brown, the colour of honesty, stability and reliability.

He is not afraid to speak his mind to Elizabeth ("your marriage was fake"), but he is also her rock throughout the show.

[wyvernquill]

I am NOT writing a Dreamling Anastasia AU 

  ...but. If I were...

(Edit: I am, find the masterpost here!)

It would not, actually, be a full human AU. The Endless are still Endless, but humanity has risen up against them, to terrible results. Their “domains” are still somewhat intact, so humanity can mostly go on as normal, but the personifications have been torn from them, weakened, have barely any control over them anymore. Their realms have crumbled, their tools are damaged, and they’re in exile...

And Death has offered immortality to whosoever will return her lost brother, Dream of the Endless, to her.

Enter Hob Gadling, vagabond, mercenary, and not very fond of dying as a concept; and Gilbert, a dream who survived the destruction of the Dreaming, and has lived among the humans ever since.

Dream of the Endless has been captured, turned human, and killed. They all know it, everyone does - it would be a pretty story if someone recovered him, a pretty story indeed, finally bringing peace and comfort to his family and the remainder of his subjects, but it won’t ever come true...

...unless someone were to make it true. Of course. Out of pure charitable sentiment, and not for the immortality reward at all.

All Hob and Gil would need is a lookalike they can pass off as “Dream of the Endless forcefully turned human” - and the amnesiac ravenkeeper “Murphy”, misanthropic and eccentric to the utmost, might be just what they’re looking for.

(But the traitor at Dream’s court has not yet given up on destroying him utterly, and is following after them with a razor-sharp knife and three mouths hungry for “Murphy”’s blood...)

---

(A scene I typed out just for funsies, from later in the plot, under the cut - also, tagging @10moonymhrivertam who I believe was interested in this!)

[Context for the scene:

Murphy-pretending-to-be-Dream has already presented himself to Unity, Desire’s Queen Consort, mentioning that he vaguely recalls being saved from captivity by a young guard shattering his glass cage with a sledgehammer. Soon after, he finds out that Hob had ulterior, selfish motives for this plot, and does not take it at all well.]

When Murphy is finally called to stand before the siblings to prove his identity, only Gilbert is accompanying him inside... and he's glad for that. Betrayal rankles in him, the first buds of love trampled brutally underfoot by the man's selfish human cruelty - a lie and a con for immortality! What a low cur! Murphy despises him, and if he does not see him again until 100 years' hence, it will still be too soon.

The Endless siblings await him in a room that seems perfectly cosy, but also painfully small. Beings such as them are made for grand halls, and to see five of them crammed together on a couch and some chairs seems... wrong, almost.

Destiny sits in an armchair hood drawn low, arms curled around the charred and torn remnants of what was once a book. Death sits on the couch, radiating a solemn sort of warmth, while Despair is huddled up next to her, eyes wide and uncertain, with her twin's hand resting protectively on her shoulder from where they are perched on the armrest, the other holding Unity's, who is seated in the second armchair.

("And Despair... oi, Murphy, are you listening?" says Hob's voice in his head, warm with fondness and a broad grin. "Despair was killed but reborn in a new aspect during the uprising. She'll still have all her old memories, though, so remain on your guard even around her."

Oh, those endless lessons. He will never forget a word of them.)

The youngest, Deligh- Delirium is seated on the floor, humming to herself and drawing swirling, colourful patterns onto the carpet. She hasn't as much as looked up at him.

Gilbert steps forward.

"Your Highnesses," he murmurs, politely removing his hat and squishing it in anxious hands. "May I present: Dream of the Endless."

 -

They ask him questions all over again, particularly Death and Desire - hers gentle and probing, theirs sharp and cutting - and Murphy answers as best he can, trying to ignore the longing in those eyes. The hope.

They want, so badly, for him to be something he is not. It is heartbreaking.

And then, finally, Death says "one last test, if you please," and Desire adds, spitefully, "this is the one they all fail," their twin nodding jerkily.

Death calls for Lucienne - ("Lucienne has always been your most faithful servant," Gilbert explains, "a librarian like no other, wise and ever loyal. She remained in the Dreaming, praying for your return, until it crumbled under her very feet...") - and Lucienne strides in.

She freezes, when she locks eyes with Murphy, and there it is again. The flash of hope, quickly tempered, but forever burning.

"The final test." Death instructs her, and with a bow Lucienne sweeps out again, only to return mere moments later with...

 -

...with a raven perched on her arm, white-breasted and fine-boned, dark and keen eyes observing Murphy curiously.

 -

"Jessamy!" He blurts out, and Death nods.

"Jessamy." She confirms, as Lucienne transfers the raven to her. "My brother's trusted companion. Touch her, now, give her a pat - and if she accepts you as her master, we'll know you're really him."

-

(Gilbert feels the tranquil summer day he has in place of a heart sink. This is what it all hinges on, then?

This is something they had no way of preparing Murphy for. No way to influence it. Jessamy will know him for a fraud, that much he is quite certain of, and their game is up, now. Their game is up.)

Murphy rises up, and goes to kneel at Death's feet, on eye level with the raven - and one has to hand it to him, he looks at her so softly, so adoringly, as if she really were part of his mind and soul and heart, the way Matthew is for Murphy, in truth.

He reaches out one trembling hand, all eyes in the room on him.

(Jessamy twitches her wings, gaze fixed on his hand.)

And then he drops it again.

 -

"Jessamy the Raven died as she attempted to rescue me from imprisonment," he says, and his voice echoes, deep and dark as midnight. "Lady Death, you hold an illusion on your arm."

 -

Silence in the room. Nobody dares to as much as breathe.

And then Not-Jessamy squawks, bright and approving - and bursts into hundreds of Delirium's incandescent butterflies, dispersing in the air.

They're all staring at him as Murphy gathers his robes up and returns to his seat.

Death stands. If her gaze was glowing with hope before, it is now like a firebrand on his skin.

"Despair? Bring his tools," she says, too soft to be an order, but with steel underneath it.

Despair scrambles up, and returns in moments with the strange helmet that is the symbol of the Dreamlord's power, and his ruby - cracked, but not broken.

(Gilbert, staring at Murphy as if in a trance, produces the sand pouch, and adds it to Despair's arms. Some thought flickers through his mind that those tools would, all taken together, kill a mere human - but that is not what Murphy is, after all, is he.)

Desire takes the ruby, and drapes the chain over Murphy's neck - and he sees it in their golden eyes, feels it in the tremble of their caress against his neck, that they have never desired anything more than their brother back.

Death takes the sand pouch, and presses it into Murphy's hand, closing his fingers around it with such gentleness - she had thought her beloved brother dead for so many years, dead and gone, and there is relief in every fibre of her being.

And then Destiny sets the scraps of his books aside, and takes the helmet in his hands, bidding Murphy to incline his head so that it might be fitted onto him, and he might recover all his past, present, and future.

 -

Murphy takes a deep breath.

Closes his eyes.

And bows his head.

 -

The helmet slides over his skull as if it was made for him...

And it was.

-

Something changes in the air.

A shifting, like air flowing in to fill up a vacuum.

And something about the-man-who-used-to-name-himself-Murphy changes.

The chapped and broken skin on his hands smooths to the point where his fingertips would not even leave prints; the fabric of his robe sparkles with stars, and floats like mist at nighttime about his form; and when he raises his behelmed head, his spine seems to crack and lengthen, taller now than he was before, too tall and thin to be human.

(Matthew squawks outside the window - and with one beat of his wings he is inside the room, settling on a narrow shoulder.)

 -

Hands that have folded lovingly around so many newly-created dreams and nightmares come up, to lift the helmet off again...

And where Murphy's eyes were a watery blue, Dream of the Endless's eyes are midnight-black, with only a single star each glowing in their depths.

 -

He blinks.

Looks down at his helmet, then up, at the roomful of Endless - his family - all staring at him in something between disbelief and incandescent joy.

"...siblings," Dream breathes, his chest warm and full as it never was when he was human except perhaps when Hob Gadling smiled at him, surrounded now by all of them...

And "BrOTheR!" Delirium squeals in rainbow tones, jumping up from the floor to throw herself into his arms, where she is immediately held.

"Brother," echoes Death, hand over her mouth, tears in her eyes - and then she, too, is folding him in an embrace, and Desire, and Despair, joining... even Destiny rests one wizened hand on Dream's head, tender and brotherly.

Lucienne is crying into a handkerchief from joy, and Gilbert keeps whispering "oh my. oh, goodness. oh my."...

And Dream holds his siblings close to him, home at last.

-

"Robert! Robert!" Gilbert is gasping, having hurried as quickly as he could. "Robert, you will not believe-"

Hob drops his nearly-done cigarette on the ground, grinds it out with his boot.

"And?" He smiles, though it hardly reaches his eyes. "Did they buy it?"

"He's real! Oh, goodness gracious me!" Gilbert rests one hand on his chest, as if to clutch at pearls there. "He is- Robert, he is the true Dream of the Endless! He, he knew that- and when they gave him the tools-"

"Ah!" Now Hob actually laughs. He fiddles for another cigarette, offers the package to Gilbert, who declines with nothing more but a distracted wave. "That. Yes. I knew that."

"You KNEW!?" Gilbert flusters.

"Since the talk with Unity." Hob's lighter takes a few tries to work. Ghastly thing. "It was me, you know."

"I don't follow." Gil blinks.

"It was good work for hired muscle, guarding some prison in a cellar - and they did say that greater rewards were in store. Riches. Fame." Hob grimaces. The cigarette smoke tastes like ash in his mouth, but he takes a drag anyway. "...immortal life. Thought it would be the best work available to me - and it was. But I couldn't stand it, watching him in there."

Hob blows the smoke up into the air, and thinks of a pale, inhuman face behind a glass pane - and then that same face haggard but human, blue eyes twinkling at him with challenge and fondness both.

"I was the guard who took the sledgehammer to Dream's prison. Woke up a few hours later with a splitting headache, and soon enough they were saying they'd killed him when he tried to escape. Quit, ran, and never looked back."

"By Jove!" Gilbert gasps. "Robert! You've saved him twice over, first in the cellar of the Magus - and now! Returning him to his family! Bless you, lad, bless you!"

Hob lets Gilbert grab his hand and shake it enthusiastically, though he can hardly muster up anything more than a weak smile.

"You should- oh, you should come inside! You must tell this story, see Lord Morpheus returned to full form, the siblings shall wish to thank you-" Gilbert babbles joyfully. "And your reward! Of course! Twice earned, my young friend! Twice earned!"

"Hmm. I don't... think I should." Hob carefully ducks out from the arm Gilbert has thrown over his shoulder. "Leave them to their joyful reunion, eh? Give them a little time to breathe before I remind them of... business."

"Ah, but-" Gilbert tries to protest, but Hob is already starting down the street. He should quit smoking - he already nearly has. Only does it when he's stressed, or heartbroken... or both.

 -

He will not bother Dream of the Endless, the man who once was Murphy, with his presence now.

[santinos-grenade-launcher]

𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧

This is a first short fic from my original series, Beast of Burden. I picked a random scene with Sephtis and Marc and decided to go with paranormal but sweet. For more context, you can check out Sephtis here and here and Marc here.

Enjoy my first little fic with my oc's :)

Pairing: Sephtis/Marc

𝐈 𝐒𝐚𝐰 𝐈𝐭

Sephtis has been seeing those paranormal entities for a very long time already, they affected him, drained his energy, he just felt like something was wrong with him. While his mother had more empathy, his father wasn't very fond of that.

But they're both gone now. Both of his parents passed away.

And tonight, the entities were more active.

“It's right next to you,” Sephtis said, sighing in annoyance because the entity seemed to laugh at him.

“Huh? Oh… what is it doing?” Marc asked, sitting by the table next to Sephtis.

“It's mocking me, that's what it's doing,” Sephtis muttered, he had lost his appetite for his dinner.

“Ah, well, we can go to the balcony, maybe get some fresh air?” Marc suggested since that usually works.

“Sure.”

The fresh air in the evening always felt good to breathe in. And the moon was full, it looked beautiful, just what Sephtis needed.

“Better?” Marc asked, placing his hand on Sephtis’ shoulder.

“Yeah. I mean… they're not going outside.” Most entities refused to leave the house, which was unusual but Sephtis never questioned it.

Marc hummed in response, leaning to press a tender kiss on Sephtis’ cheek.

They spend some time together on the balcony, admiring the stars and the moon, Marc tried to get Septhis’ mind off the entities and everything but Sephtis was being a bit stubborn.

“Do you really believe me?” Sephtis asked.

“Of course I do! We've talked about it so many times. I can't see them, but I can see how much they're affecting you.” That's true, and Sephtis knew that. He was just constantly doubting himself, his sanity, and everything. But he knew he could trust Marc. They've gone through so much, and all that was just a start.

Sephtis caressed his face, looking at the wolf who would kill for him, die for him, anything he would ask for, he would do it. He wasn't sure what to reply, he was a bit overwhelmed, so he just kissed him, trying to relax that way.

“The only wolf I would let kill and eat me.” It's a dark humor Sephtis likes to use with Marc.

Marc chuckled softly, “Stop that, that’s too much. I would never.”

“I know. I just wanted to hear you laugh,” Sephtis murmured, winking at him playfully. “Let's go back inside. I think they left.”

The house felt more peaceful, Marc made sure his lover finished his dinner since he hadn't been eating well lately. Too much pressure was put on his back in a very short time.

“Tomorrow will be a long and exhausting day. Some of father's friends and associations will be visiting and I…” Sephtis paused, pulling his tie away, looking at himself in the mirror in his bedroom. “I will have to be the main host.”

It would be the first time he was doing something like this and he was already feeling nervous about it.

“You'll do great, I just know it. Besides, I'll be with you the whole time,” Marc said softly, wagging his tail a little, hugging him from behind and nuzzling against his neck.

“You're so sweet.” Septhis smiled, leaning into Marc's embrace. “I'm so glad I have you.”

“I'll get stronger for you, Sephtis. I promise.”

“You're already strong.”

“I want know how to use every type of weapons and some physical combat skills. What I know for now is not enough. You're entering into a dangerous life… I want to be able to protect you in the best way.” Marc kept eye contact with Sephtis through the mirror.

“I appreciate it. Just don't hurt yourself that way, it's not worth it.”

“Don't worry.” Marc kissed his cheek.

He waited for Sephtis to get the rest of his outfit off him and everything seemed to be okay until something dark passed quickly by him, Marc saw it in the corner of his eye and quickly turned to look at what it was. He saw a dark mist for a split second leaving the room.

“Marc?” Septhis looked worriedly at him.

“I saw it,” Marc whispered.

“What?”

“I saw it, too.”

[adamantineheart]

I'm trying to articulate why I love Dame Aylin so much and why she feels like such a miracle of a female character to me but it's like HAVE YOU SEEN HER??? WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY????

jfdjdjfjdjfjfj

okay but really

I bought this game because her design immediately won me over. I had no idea what her personality was going to be like, but I was hopeful that an angel lady in full armor would have something I’d like about her. I vaguely became aware that she was gay and eventually saw some spoilers and discovered her other half was Isobel. Honestly, both of them could have been terribly written and I'd still have enjoyed them because Aylin pretty, but that's not what happened at all.

I don't even know, but the moment I met Aylin it was like oh my god... oh my god. And IT WAS JUST HER BEATEN UP AND INSULTING BALTHAZAR. But that itself was all I needed to understand she was special. Their conversation just said so much about her personality. Her speech patterns, her confidence, her pride, her vengeance... Balthazar is an arrogant bastard who talks a big talk, but the underlying feeling I had was that if he messed up his intricate spells he'd be fucked because she would absolutely kill him. Aylin isn't a damsel in distress that needs you to save her from a monster... she's a tiger in the world's most impossible to escape cage. And it has to be—because not even a hundred years of torture made her any less dangerous.

So that was already my first impression of her and she wasn’t even physically doing well. She was dirty, her clothes were tattered, she wasn't given the dignity of shoes, her hair had been shaved... and that was just the surface level stuff. But none of it diminished how strong she looked. Even in that state, she was physically imposing. Some of that was her attitude, but she's also A Big Woman and it's fucking terrific. I wanted to watch her swat Balthazar down like a fly.

Of course, that's not how the fight goes. She can't be released until you go to release her and...

That transformation.

She is resplendent.

It's such a moving scene. Anyone who plays the game will remember it clearly because it leaves such a huge impression. But for me, it was another piece of why she was so magnificent. It's that full battle angel look that made me want to meet her in the first place, but with so much more emotion and significance. Returning to it with context on a second playthrough just makes it more powerful to me because I understand exactly what she's lost, how deep Ketheric's betrayal was, and I know all that pain and suffering she's gone through is not just at an end, but about to be replaced with a reunion so sweet it will bring Aylin to her knees.

That's sort of the final big piece of why Aylin just makes so [clenches fist]. She loves Isobel so truly. Loves her with her entire immortal soul. Respects her, treasures her, adores her. And.. this part is so important because in so many other stories it would end there, but BG3 makes it clear Aylin also deeply desires her. Wants to spend time passionately making love to her. It's so humanizing and beautiful and just everything to me!!!

anyway, yes. dame aylin.... may she smite all her enemies and fuck her wife in peace.

[ro-botany]

@silque Hope you don't mind me pulling this into it's own post; it's a critical enough point that I really wanna expand on it.

For context for those who didn't read my recent longass post about Frederick in general: We're talking about the canonical age at which Emmeryn was crowned Exalt of Ylisse.

According to the numbers from Awakening Chapter 6, when Emm took the throne she was

NINE YEARS OLD

Maaaaaybe 10, at the most, if you stretch the meaning of "before her tenth year" a bit and play around with the exact date her dad died.

(To be clear, Frederick's age in that table is a headcanon, not canonical in any way)

You are making several excellent points and I'm Big Emotional about all of them, so naturally, I'm going to take four miles of post length to screech about this in more detail.

It is fucking wild to me that the game breezes by the war timeline and the ages of the royal kids so fast. To the point where I straight up missed it! Or forgot, I guess, in the years since my last full playthrough.

I just. I have to set the scene.

Ylisse has just been through an unfathomably bloody holy war. Almost anyone of fighting age was given a weapon and dragged to the desert to fight, leaving behind a halidom populated almost exclusively by children and the elderly, with a dwindling food supply. A country driven into desperation and chaos by its own ruler.

We don't know how the Exalt dies--if his own men turned mutiny or he was routed by Plegian forces or what--but the Exalt does die, and the war dies with him. When the news from the front finally trickles back to Ylisstol alongside what few broken men and women survived the violence, the oldest person of exalted blood is duty-bound to take his former place on the throne.

Overnight, nine-year old Emmeryn goes from playing with her baby brother and awaiting the day her baby sister is born, to being crowned Exalt of a dying country and a shattered populace that now turns all their hurt and ire onto her.

She has her council of old, withered politicians to guide her hand. She has the castle guards--all either old enough to be her grandparents or young enough to be her peers--to protect her from the worst of the violence. She has her mother, too--until one day, too soon, she doesn't.

The game certainly doesn't gloss over the tragedy of that. It neglects to emphasize the ages these kids were dealing with all this at, though. I could tangent off into another 500-1000 words about how fucked that family situation is if I chose to and the unique ways that has played into the characterization of everybody involved. That Emmeryn grew up to be as competent and well-loved a ruler as she did is a monumental feat, not only on her part, but on the parts of the people who supported and raised her.

And to bring it back to the man of the hour on this blog… At some point, Frederick became one of those people. He's been looking after Chrom and Lissa for who even knows how long; there is no doubt in my mind that, like tumblr user silque suggested, Frederick also helped look after Emmeryn. Helped her and her siblings make whatever sense of the ongoing tragedies they could, while probably dealing with a mountain of issues of his own.

He's something at the nexus between older brother, father, bodyguard to all of them. He's been by their side, a constant rock, since all four of them were arguably children. Frederick doesn't let his guard down for a second. He sees the weight on the shoulders of these kids, and he knows helping them bear it is the best thing he can do to help the people starving in his village and every other like it, or to help avert this war, or end that war swiftly. He devotes himself to this duty so utterly that he's practically killing himself from stress and overwork. Always watching for the wolf in the shadows, that Emmeryn and Chrom and Lissa might be able to avoid the fangs and continue being the beacons the halidom needs them to be.

Even when they're at peace, the eyes at the edge of the firelight are all he can see. It confuses Chrom and Lissa; and that's how he knows he's doing his job correctly.

And this relationship between Frederick and the royal siblings.

Is reduced to jokes about pebble-clearing and overzealous recruitment posters a solid 80% of the time.

I JUST.

I want to clarify that these games being goofy and silly and over the top as often as they are is one of their draws, and that I do enjoy how just, cartoonishly cautious Frederick can be. I love the jokes. I am that guy who played the Before Awakening DLC in Fates literally 128 times to max out the pebble joke weapon. In no world do I think we need to wholly kill comedy here.

But at the same time I can't help but be blown away by how often the heart in this relationship is neglected in favour of comedy. The second you start thinking about how Frederick got where he is and why he is the way he is, there is just, SO much there.

It's of dubious canonicity at best, but I want you to read the conversations that Chrom and Frederick have with Emmeryn during her recruitment paralogue. I want you to notice how Chrom, though clearly emotional, is capable of putting his emotions aside, and opts to focus on keeping her safe rather than indulging in his grief, which he knows would only confuse her.

And then I want you to notice how Frederick, stoic, icy Frederick, breaks down. A paragraph of two years of repressed grief comes tumbling out all at once to a woman who, ultimately, is only a ghost of the person he knew. He begs her forgiveness. He cannot, cannot think clearly or objectively in this moment. He hurts too deeply. He cares too much.

The so-called Cold Lieutenant of the Shepherds cares so deeply and self-sacrificingly about everyone and it can be really damn funny, or utterly heart-melting, or utterly heart-breaking depending on the situation and how you play it. AND YET. THE SIDE CHARACTER CURSE. The most genuinely they ever play this bond is in a side chapter that isn't even canon.

How do I end this post.

I am inconsolable for SEVERAL REASONS.

[theycallmebecca]

Drabble: The Chores

Happy first drabble of 2023! This one is for the Warm Up: One-Word Prompt challenge @the-slumberparty I got my word yesterday and it was "enhance" but I didn't even think to screen cap it. 🤦‍♀️

The obvious choice would have been to go with Steve Rogers... cause he is enhanced... but then I got this idea for cowboy!Ari Levinson...and y'all know I love cowboy!Ari.

Title: The Chores

Pairing: cowboy!Ari Levinson x reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: suggestive

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context. 

Finished with work early, you escape the ranch house and settle into your hammock with a good book to enjoy the nice weather.

You are getting to a juicy part of the book the first time you notice Ari walk past you. He catches your eye and gives a small wave before he carries on with whatever chore he is working on.

The second time he comes by, he is on one of the ranch atv’s, noisily riding past you, pulling your attention from the book.

It isn't until he wanders into the area a third time, pushing a wheelbarrow full of logs, that you begin to suspect he is intentionally disturbing your peace. After all, the hammock is in a partially secluded private yard, separated from the working ranch by a row of hedges on one side.

You narrow your eyes as you watch him from over the edge of your book as he dumps the logs onto the ground by the stump he used as a chopping block. Then he disappears with the wheelbarrow.

He all but confirms your suspicions when he returns with his ax to chop the logs; logs that you both know don't have to be chopped right now and likely won’t even fit in the wood stockpile.

As you watch, he digs through the pile of logs and puts one on the stump and then positions himself so his back is towards you.

Unconsciously, you bite down on your lower lip as he swings the ax, splitting the log cleanly into two pieces. He repeats the process a couple times, allowing you to appreciate the way his body looks from behind. The way his blue jeans enhance his best, uh, ass-et. Not to mention the way his back and arm muscles flex with each swing.

After finishing a few logs, he pauses and sets the ax down. Then he turns suddenly and catches you watching him. He gives you a wink before he lifts the front of his shirt up and pulls it off. He makes a show of drying his sweaty face with the shirt before he tosses it aside.

“How’s the book?” He asks as if he isn't fully aware that you had lost interest in your book thanks to him.

Well two could play that game, you decide. “Trying to cool down,” you say, casually. “Just read a super sexy scene.”

"Sounds like a good book," he replies all the while giving you a smirk that says he doesn’t believe you. Turning, he takes his time setting up the next log, giving you plenty of time to take in the tan, bare skin of his back.

Damn him.

Once he is happy with the placement, he lines up the ax, taking a couple unnecessary practice swings for your benefit, before he slices the log into two.

With a huff, you get up from the hammock, getting his attention.

“Going somewhere?” he asks.

“You’re making me feel lazy,” you say, lying through your teeth. “Figured I go inside and do some chores.”

“Need a hand? Or two?” He asks, the glimmer in his eyes telling you that if you both go in the house no chores will be done.

“I’m sure you have stuff to do still,” you reply, testing him.

“Nothing the guys can’t handle,” he assures you. “I’ll just clean this up and meet you inside?” He gestures to the split logs.

"If you're sure they can spare you, I'd love the help," you say. "With the chores."

"The chores," he repeats. "I love doing the chores."

You go into the house and head straight for the master bathroom, where you plan to make good use of both his hands.

[arthursbubblebutt]

So I have been thinking

This fic where Arthur doesn't become king and other fics where Morgana is the regent when he's away and maybe a webtoon I have read made me have an idea where Arthur became Morgana's knight and supported her ascension to the throne

And when everything is just too peaceful, Merlin comes in as Gaius' new apprentice, and Arthur gets a little too distracted during meetings with the physicians shadow in tow.

Morgana on the throne and being the girlboss that she is doesn't necessarily want a husband/king yet and just wants to focus on her people, but the council has been pressuring her for an heir of course she has said that Arthur is her heir but even then Arthur has stated he does not want to even be considered on the throne and just wants to be her guard/advisor

Now that's just context. The scene I'm thinking of is like

"If they want an heir, then they'll have an heir." Morgana stands and walks to the window to watch over the people down in the courtyard.

"And how are you going to manage that, dear sister?" Arthur says when he grabs an apple off her plate and takes a bite, watching her brow furrow.

"I do not want to be married at this time, and the councilors have been pushing their sons at me, similar to how you would stuff your face with bacon." Morgana's grimace twists into a smile when she hears an indignant squawk made in the direction where she left Arthur.

"So, not one of their sons which have been given to you on a platter."

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Arthur."

"Hmm."

"A noble would just want to covet the throne for themselves - they would undermine my rule until they are the only one the councilors will listen to."

"A commoner then?"

"Yes, but even then, they would use the child as a way to say they have a right to the throne." Morgana's gaze never strays from looking out the window trying to think of something. She could have Arthur's children as an heir, but who knows when that will be or even if that will happen, and she doesn't want the councilors foaming at the mouth to introduce their daughters to her brother; eager to have their family mixed in the royal bloodline. She rolls her eyes at the thought.

Bloodlines, she huffs at that. She would rather adopt, but then she doesn't want to deal with the headache the council will induce when she brings up the thought.

"A contract then, and someone who will honor that contract." Arthur muses outloud.

A flash of familiar raven hair catches her attention as well as when they fumble a basket full of herbs she recognizes the royal physician having. A smile curls her lips when the thought of her brother flustered in being bandaged up by the kind apprentice. An idea forms in her mind then.

"Someone of common birth and that does not desire the position they could potentially hold." She turns to her brother then, eating another fruit from her platter.

Arthur sees the traces of mischief in his sister's eyes that he has grown to be wary of in their youth. He straightens his shoulders when she walks over to the table and takes a grape from his hand. "I was going to eat that," his eyes narrow when she just laughs and eats the grape.

"I think I know the perfect candidate."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Someone who is of common birth?

"Yes."

"Someone who will stay in their position when they could easily climb the latter to a luxurious life beside the Queen?"

"Indeed, dear brother."

"And who's the idiot that would do that?"

"Merlin."

[egg-emperor]

I'm glad my perspective and opinion has changed, especially on Eggman in Frontiers and how I can say I'm at least ranging in interested in to liking all aspects of his and Sage's portrayals and combined dynamic now. Despite everything that happened the past few months, it feels like a happy ending to not feel bitter anymore and be at peace.

It's unfortunate that I'm this late to understanding the entire picture despite small details I did catch onto even at the beginning- but I think what didn't help is, besides the four Eggman scenes that were leaked, my next look were memos spammed on my dash with wild assumptions treated as fact and were quick to upset me without full context.

Even when I got to play the game a couple of days early and had a headstart to give it more of a chance to form my own opinion before it really blew up, I was too pissed and tired to give a chance or pay enough attention to what was going on because of my reaction to those leaks. It significantly lowered my amount of interest and excitement.

You must understand- I was so excited for a main story game again after five years, to see what Eggman was up to, to see him finally be newly simultaneously voiced and animated again for the first time in years. Years of waiting only to have a lot shoved in my face out of order and context wasn't nice, so I went from excited to confused and angry fast.

At first I really thought they fucked up my favorite character ever and I was devastated. He's very important to me and I was looking forward to seeing what writing and animation there was to enjoy and what kind of analysis and appreciation posts I could make. It was even one of the things that kept me pushing through hard times for years to see.

It was easy to believe that the worst had happened when a loud majority of fandom were saying it. But over time, the more I looked, the more I was like wait the reasons I say that I don't like Eggman's portrayal or the dynamic with Sage actually aren't present in the game, I just wasn't agreeing with how it was being seen as in the fandom specifically.

I realized that was the case with the Maria Egg memo right away when I reacted with confusion to how people got the idea that Eggman was neglected in childhood from it (only for Flynn to also say that isn't implied) but then realized it's the same case with the dynamic with Sage, Eggman's morality or lack of, and everything else much later.

Then I was like oh wait so it's just the same old story when it comes to canon vs fanon lol. Idk where my head was at up until I had this huge sense of clarity, I was a mess XD But everyone who sensibly offered new perspective without insulting or casting me out helped and I'm very thankful for the respect, patience, and for taking the time to explain.

Truth is, I actually love being proven wrong when people actually take the facts into account and provide supporting evidence for their beliefs, instead of insisting I like something just because they do (especially when it's for reasons not actually present in the game) because I want to learn. I judged too quickly, I was too harsh, I realize there's a lot more to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be miserable and hate things like some think, it's not fun. my criticisms only ever come from a place of great passion. I care and want the best out of Eggman characterization and for them to keep all the things that make him so great and lovable present in him. I'm really happy to know he hasn't gone anywhere and I can enjoy it!

I'm glad I love canon Frontiers Eggman, I'm just not a fan of the most popular fan interpretation right now because I feel that, just like me initially, some are overlooking details, context, and moments that make Eggman and Sage's portrayals and dynamic a lot more complicated and complex as commonly depicted and I hope to highlight them in my posts.

I'm really happy and relieved that it turned out to actually be something I can find interesting and enjoy and inspires exploration and creativity in me to analyze, appreciate, and create from! It's what I was really hoping to feel all along and in the end my love for Eggman remains as strong and enthusiastic as ever 🥰💜🥚

[runelocked]

A PLAYLIST FOR JAMES @bolides & WILLIAM.

holy branches - radical face

When you were young, you’d bite your tongue, / Calm, always did what you were told, / Never ran your mouth, lived life on tiptoes / Only felt peace if by yourself / When mistakes don’t count […] Now I live alone, / Work in the belly of machines, wring my soot-black hands / And I don’t sleep much / Days don’t feel much different from the nights

before the incident!!! when their relationship was good and william honestly thought of him as a pseudo-son!!!! he’s always been shrewd and james reminded him a LOT of his own childhood (except much worse), and this song gives the vibes of an older man trying to pass on wisdom about life to his son or smthn. it’s bittersweet in this context :’)

you’re a mirror i cannot avoid - bad books

But you’re a mirror I cannot void / Strung out and jittery and paranoid, / A leaky battery that can’t keep charged / Get in the car and say what you mean, / Explain yourself to me and I’ll try not to judge you more than you would, / Let me help, I promise not to tell

wails over this song and these two in particular. the tragic events at the diner messed them BOTH up good and i imagine this is from james’s perspective, grieving and trying his very best to cling to a man that is spiralling away from him. the beginning of the end for their dynamic :’) there’s nothing more painful than watching someone else become a shadow of their former self while you’re going through the same thing after all!!!

you’re somebody else - flora cash

Well you look like yourself / But you’re somebody else / Only it ain’t on the surface, / Well you talk like yourself, / No, I hear something else though / Now you’re making me nervous

one of my fav sad songs hands down and fits james and william after the incident TM. from james’ perspective and the part of him that’s devastated (presumably) that someone he’d admired and cared about did this to him… and the grief that comes with meeting the dark side of your heroes :’)

dead things - emilíana torrini

Sad things have to happen sometimes, / Let the snow melt in my mouth / Until my head hurts, until I’m out, / Makes me laugh a bit, makes me cry / Same way you confuse me all the time

this is a jump in time but in my head this song like. perfectly encapsulates how william feels about james as he’s spiralling further and further towards the springlock incident. james is a presence that constantly weighs on him and william is incredibly unstable at the end: he’s just as likely to laugh at james as he is to beg for his forgiveness (though mostly he’ll try to ignore him) — in fact! james is one of the main reasons he returns to try and destroy the animatronics, in the hopes he will pass on too ^_^ and we all know how that worked out ^_^

for the departed - shayfer james

I’ll write a symphony for the departed, / And I have no time for second chances / So I survive on bourbon, blood, and backward glances / And so, the scene begins, / Your cries become the wind / A desperate plea best left unheard / Then my contrived goodbye / A poet’s pantomime, / A drunken jester’s final words

wow look! it’s william having a complete paranoid breakdown over james the night before he returns to destroy the animatronics in 1994!!!! yeah this song captures his feelings towards james (and the others but honestly? it’s always been the boy that unsettles him the most) — i can picture a scenario where william thinks he sees james out of the corner of his eye in the middle of his own house and so, furious and frightened and full of bitter feelings, decides once and for all to put the kid out of his misery by destroying the things holding him here. sets out with an ax to destroy the machinery and end everything […] and is promptly surprised, scared, and springlocked forever !

( i had more for pre-incident dynamics but i didn’t want to bombard you with songs so have these !!!!!!! )

[eilinelsghost]

I am loving Atandil, as you know. Can you say more about your inspiration for the very moving funeral rites in A Shuddering In The Air?

Thank you so much for this question! I really enjoyed working on that section. I'm not sure what all would be interesting to unpack, but here are a few things that went into it.

I initially decided to include a scene with those when I realized that Finrod would need some context to know what to do with Bëor's body when he dies. Granted there is some more conversation that I'll include around that later too, but I really wanted him to have a frame of reference for what it looked like to see one of the Edain buried. It was really important to me that he felt the defiance and sting of that firsthand before having the full weight of it crash down when it was Balan whose body was being set into the ground.

As to the rites themselves, I knew I wanted seeds to play a role in that because of an aspect of how Finrod buries Balan and later visits the grave (I won't say more about that here because I'd like to leave that until it shows up in the narrative), but then I wanted that to connect through to the overarching tradition. And seeds as part of the burial ritual worked really well for that.

Another reason for those and for the surrounding benedictions was a bit more rooted in our own world. I've always found the inclusion of the "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" reading in the Book of Common Prayer's liturgy for the Burial of the Dead to be very poignant and compelling. When contemplating the Atani and their own burial customs, I kept thinking what it would look like to include that same kind of sentiment, but as a cry of defiance rather than a theological statement. Death defied and mocked, even as his sting is very much present, his victory very much before them. And so the burial with seeds: life from death, even in our rotting, and the song at the end. It felt a very Atani sentiment to have a burial ritual that spat in the face of their own fate: death might take each of them, but it was not a true victory if they laughed in his face or turned his destruction back to beauty. A bitter beauty, of course, but one of their own making.

One last aspect of those that I am very attached to is the benediction Balan gives to each body: “Honor be upon you, my mother/father. Valor rest within you, my sister/brother. Peace take you within her arms, my daughter/son.” I loved how this connected their whole clan together in a society of mutual dependence - each is mother, sister, daughter or father, brother, son to all others. A loss of any is a loss of that communal family. They are not just co-citizens or the same traveling group, they are a community bound together with a much more encompassing understanding of what "family" entails. This is also seen in Estreth's "small stubbornness" of holding apart from joining Balan's people in order to remain, as she sees it, unbroken from her own communal family.

I feel like there are more things I had to say about this, but I just got back from a road trip this evening and my brain is pretty shot. If I did not cover an aspect you hoped I'd mention, let me know and I can keep going!

Thank you so much for this question - I really loved working on this part of A Shuddering in the Air and getting to talk more about it has been a blast!