#I will put this in queue so it doesn't look like I wrote it write after writing the last one

[curejiraiya]

i want to hear more about your hayami hiro hyperfixation!

Have I ever told you how much I love that they gave Hiro a big yellow bow in his middle school idol outfit

I love him! He's ADORABLE!!!!!!! I wish there was merch of him in this outfit, it's 100% my favorite of his. I've definitely posted about this bow before, but when do you see a masculine character that you're supposed to take seriously in a big bow. Never. And then they made him wear it again in Pride the Hero. He genuinely looks amazing in it. It's a big poofy yellow bow, he looks like a tiny soft boy. It's great. I headcanon that he continues to wear this outfit at Over the Rainbow lives when him and Kouji sing Pride together, forever. Like I want a 26 year old Hiro still wearing this knock off school uniform and big yellow bow. And the crowd goes CRAZY.

I've also posted about this merch before, but this is my favorite merch outfit they've ever made for the guys. Hiro with his hair up 😅 I think it looks so good. The different style for Kouji's hair is really great too. You never really see anime guys with different hairstyles, but I really like the ones from this collab. But their entire outfits here. Hiro and Kouji are wearing matching leopard print belts, insane. What a fashion take, why does it work. Hiro is in a crop top here btw!!!!!!!!!! Like it's hard to tell because of the jacket but crop top Hiro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah I actually love everything about these outfits so much. I want a street Over the Rainbow song that we never got but deserved. Kazuki center Over the Rainbow.

Sorry I'm just picking random Hiro things I want to talk about lol

Something I was thinking about the other night was how Kouji and Kazuki both have pretty consistent symboling, at least in King of Prism anyway. I would argue Kouji doesn’t have a symbol in Rainbow Live. But in King of Prism Kouji is associated with honey, honestly not in the show but in the fandom, right. Because of that famous post where the person was like “Honey came out of his ass!” I still think that phrase is really funny. And Kazuki is really simple, he says burning, his thing is fire. But with Hiro I think we see the symbols associated with him evolve over time. It started with the yellow Rose and the use of yellow with him, we don’t necessarily see the yellow fade away, like I’m assuming the in-universe fandom still gives him yellow roses quite often. That’s just one of his idol things, like idols have callouts and a Hiro thing is that his fans give him yellow roses. But when Over the Rainbow starts he gets this heavy association with apples. It has to be an Adam & Eve, I’m pretty sure it’s an Adam and Eve thing, but I haven’t really figured it out. He’s Eve and Kouji is Adam? That’s what it is right? But what? I don’t know, it’s a stretch, maybe it isn’t an Adam and Eve thing, but my symbolism brain has a really hard time seeing someone take a bite out of Apple and not thinking it’s in Adam and Eve thing. But then there’s the third symbol and in my opinion the best one, or if anything this is the symbol of post-character arc hero. Like SSS era Hiro is heavily associated with crowns. Because he’s the King. Like specifically this style of crown:

And I never complained about it, but my personal gripe is that I think the traditional pointed crown is a lot less ugly LOL. But that’s irrelevant, regardless I think associating Hiro with crowns points to his character arc. That he overcame all of his struggles in Pride the Hero and came out a stronger person. I also just think this was his transition into an adult. I mean they probably officially said his age in Pride the Hero at some point, I’m pretty sure it’s 17, but he turned 18 in October of that year. And in my eyes him becoming the Prism King is him becoming an adult. It’s him casting aside the immaturity of childhood, and like committing to the things he loves. Committing to his job, his friends, his idol group. He is not a highschooler who can be manipulated anymore, he’s not a kid from a broken home. He’s an adult who won his life back. He’s overcome tragedy and this is his crown. Well not the one in the photo above, that’s from Prism Rush when they did like a fantasy thing, let me find a picture of his actual crown. I’m literally staring at it irl because he’s wearing it in a piece of merch that I have in my room.

I NEVER NOTICED IT HAS A HEART ON IT????? OH MY GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HIM SO ADORABLE

Anyway he deserves the crown. His arc to Prism Cup winner is stronger than Aira's imo (because Rhythm had the stronger arc in PR:AD heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) It was clearly set up for him to win from the beginning but you can tell he's really the director's baby boy character. No other character could come close to winning.

In 4 years when he's 21 there is a 1000000000000% chance he wins again. I think Kazuki will be worn down by then (it's not that he's gotten worse it's that he spends a lot of his time working with kids and would put that before training). Kouji doesn't have the dancing or jumping skills. I think he knows that though he'd still try and try harder than anyone but Hiro. Yuki could maybe do it, but I genuinely think he's the only Septentrion boy who has a shot currently, the rest of them aren't focused enough on Prism shows and specifically that skill. And like ofc Shin could be cheezy prism power winner but idk he seems kinda like Kazuki in that his focus is spreading the love of prism or . whatever instead of actually grinding out skills in being a performer. I think even good guy Alec is still too destructive/wild to win though he could second place.

Apparently the Joji/Ace duo is actually super skilled? like based on their score in SSS. But that's TWO PEOPLE idk gang I love them but I want Ace before he turns 20 to realize that maybe he should sing for himself (I do love their duo though I just want it to be healthier for them both). Can Louis still jump? Does he still do prism shows after SSS? Something tells me no, but I mean who knows.

Anyway Hiro would win :) I want 21 year old Hiro to kick 16 year old Yuu's ass. I want Kouji to give 120% and still get his ass kicked and have a character arc where he has to realize like, he can't win but Hiro couldn't win without him, he's literally singing his song.

I am not kidding when I say I think about the next Prism King Cup like daily. I think the ages of the Septentrion boys works really well for a story there. It's not that I have it fully planned out, it's that I think through every kind of situation that could happen. It's so good.

They look so dumb. These 3 18 year olds are the most famous idols in Japan (I think Kazuki is 19, who cares.)

If they're 21 for the next Prism King cup, and (I'm rereading this like an hour later and I forgot you can drink in japan at 20 oh well,) after everything happens and they're just relaxing together again the night of the performance, Hiro and Kouji get fucking SMASHED. They just have that vibe. Kazuki either parties with them or is straight edge, I flip flop on that characterization for him. I also think all the girls are with them at that party, and it's like "mweh ur only 20 u can't drink," but Wakana is the type of 20 year old to NOT care and drink anyway, and Kouji is 100% slipping Ito drinks when only the two of them are looking. The other girls don't seem like drinkers. Bell is probably a wine mom later in life. A wine lesbian if you will.

The last thing I wanna rant about is that one group photo where Kazuki is getting his feet smashed, where is it.

Imagine if I had this saved instead of just googling it and scrolling every time.

Look at Hiro's stupid little hat. Look at his wink! No wait look at his hat, that's amazing why did he wear that?

Kouji ur looking the wrong way your boyfriend is on your right. Unless you're actually looking at Kazuki being tortured, then carry on.

This is probably the best Kazuki vs Kouji height photo, because with the whole group Kazuki looks SO SMALL. The girls are all in heels but I mean that gives them like once inch. He's so short. I love it.

Like you could be saying "Kouji is looking at his girlfriend and she's holding his arm hmmm," And I'm over here saying "Kouji is wearing MATCHING ROSE PINS WITH HIS BOYFRIEND," any questions?

I just realized these are different suits then the suits they wear in that one OTR business intro in SSS. I know cuz I have a standee of those suits lol. I guess they're famous they probably need more then one suit. Hiro and Kouji's are worse here, but Kazuki's is better for the bowtie.

Actually I lied, Hiro and Kouji have better colored suits and waistcoats above, but I really like their gay matching roses idk.

I don't have a conclusion for this post, it's just a bunch of random observations I have on my mind constantly about Hiro. In conclusion, Hiro Hayami is gay. or bi idk. I feel like he thought he liked Bell but comphet. So he calls himself bi, but let's be honest he's only dating Kouji. Or Kazuki i'm down for the street kings ship. Kazuki and Two H. Or he's dating both of them, I'm a very pro poly person.

God I could talk about Two H or Poly OTR for a long time, but I wont today I will stop typing. Sorry about my hyperfixation!!!!!!

[chacolachao]

Something I've been thinking about since The Murder of Sonic... Where did that cake come from? I know he went and got it at the end but they stopped in a location they weren't scheduled to stop at, found a cake shop, and then bought it in a few seconds? Now, that's not the part that surprises me actually... It's the fact that the cake is customized. The kicker here is that the cake is flawless, doesn't even look rushed, AND its got a (presumably edible) image of Amy on it.

So there's a couple options here:

While on the train before getting murdered he gets on that computer that was in the back and rapid fire orders a cake from a bakery that maybe might be somewhere in the middle of their two destinations. (As this train is meant for fun events I assume it runs in a circle for this story**) He sends over an image of Amy too for edible printing. Then immediately after the train crashes he races to the bakery, wherever it may be, picks it up, and comes back with it. Definitely plausible, makes sense, though I'd have to check whether or not Shadow went for the computer room before Sonic could even get a chance to. **I don't remember if there was a specific destination

This dude gets himself murdered and immediately after the train crashes and everyone gets off, he races to the nearest bakery to pick up a premade cake. Along the way or once he gets there he sends them an image of Amy to print, using his hero clout to get it printed immediately skipping the queue. (Those things take like only a minute to print so it could work.) As he's waiting for it to print he decorates the cake. Roses could already be there but I'm assuming he wrote the words on the cake. He's the only one who could manage a rush job that well and we already know his muscle control is top-notch. Judging by his canonical signature below:

That's cursive baby, probably written quickly, but also perfectly. He could totally handle writing on a cake carefully. Photo prints, put on cake, race back.

One of these is more fun than the other and I'm too sleep addled to think it through any further.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Since I LOVE your writing & I recently saw your post about why Minthara should be able to confront Orin, can I request your portrayal of how that would go down? If you're busy that's 110% okay 😊

So far, you're the third person to ask me to detail my idea of Minthara's personal quest. Right now, it's kind of just a bullet point list so it'll take me some time to actually put it into words and add it to the queue of drafts waiting to be posted.

However, if you have read my main fic, you'll kind of already have an idea of what that personal quest would look like. There were a lot of reasons why I wrote To Be Free From the Gods in the way that I did with the big ones being 1) I was mad about a no Minthara origin and 2) I was mad that there was no direct confrontation between Minthara and Orin and 3) I was mad at no Minthara personal quest. We only get to see one version of Minthara and that is of her as a companion as she will only really do what you tell her to do. But Minthara's decision making would be completely different if she was the leader of the group (although a true Minthara origin would look completely different than what I wrote in my fic).

A lot of people constantly talk and bitch that Minthara cannot be changed. What they fail to recognize is that Minthara does change, just not in the way that they want or expect. Minthara also changes for herself and without the direct influence of the player and without the intention to appeal to the player, which is something that people really do not like. There are some people that just really hate it when other people change without their explicit permission or changes in a way that does not make them feel good about themselves. However, I do understand why some people feel like Minthara doesn't change at all by the end of the game. Minthara is someone who is ruled by fear and most of the decisions she makes is informed by that fear. Perhaps Minthara is stuck in a cycle of fear because she isn't given the chance to overcome it like everyone else does.

[cheolism]

dokcheol baby i went thru all of your reaction posts and i have a thing in my mind…how do you think scoups reacts when the love of his life asks him to love her more than she loves him????

(as someone who writes a LOT of good stuff please do go OFF on this one)

seungcheol doesn't know how to feel at first. there's a multitude of emotions going through him. above all, it's shock. he can't believe that anyone would ever doubt his love for you, let alone you. it's horror. he can't believe he made you feel that way, as if he didn't love you more than any other person in the world, even more than himself. it's fury. how could you betray him to even think that he didn't love you with every fiber of his being? it's self-hatred. how could he let it come to this, when you, you who he loved and adored and was willing to give the rest of his life to, doubted his love? but above all, it's his heart breaking and feeling as if he's witnessing a tragedy play out before his eyes.

he's pulling you in his arms before you can even think of saying another word. he's putting force into every single word he says, as if he could make you believe it through his sheer will. he's refusing to part from you the rest of the day, he's constantly watching. he's always observed others, looked for queues as to their thoughts. and now he watches you like a tiger watches prey, just waiting for a single ounce of anxiety or hesitation to show on your face, ready to launch himself at you and repeat his words of love and devotion until you can rehearse them.

and then, once you're asleep in his arms and he's staring up at the ceiling, the loathing sinks in. how could he do this to you? you who shines so brightly, you who he constantly turns to for warmth and love. he's left you alone, feeling as if you were stranded in your relationship. he's hurt you, and he fears it's the sort of hurt that you won't be able to come back from. and he hates himself for it.

anon: i misread this request at first and wrote a small little oneshot abt it as well!!!! i hope you liked this!! <33

[wolfiemcwolferson]

omg logan if youre still doing the romance prompts....piarles + 4 (author & editor) 🫶

y'all have been blessing my inbox with so so many prompts and I will absolutely be working on these over the next month while I move. I will be tapping in airports and cars and hotels so, please send as many as your little hearts desire and I will be working hard.

Now, for this one. Piarles below the cut.

When Charles sold his first book, he had been living in a studio apartment and eating ramen noodles and that seems like a lifetime ago now.

Or. More precisely, it seems to be twelve lifetimes ago. That's how many books he's put out since then and he's come a long way from jumping through hoops and changing anything they asked him to just because.

Now, he fights for what he wants to include and he fights for the stories he wants to tell.

"It's not that it's not good." Pierre says, poking one finger down on the physical copy of the book that poured from Charles' fingers while he was visiting his brother and holding his new nephew.

Charles hadn't been able to stop it from coming to him in dreams and the middle of the night and in little pockets of time in the Italian countryside when he thought about his own life - his own future.

Pierre sits up straight, spins the little pen he brought over in his fingers before pointing it at Charles from across his own counter. Charles waits, stirring the sauce on the stove while Pierre queues up the words he wants to say.

He used to think it was annoying - how Pierre would edit himself before even speaking, but that was 10 lifetimes and one stark realization ago. Now he loves it. He loves to watch him pick his words carefully. Full impact or whatever.

"Can I ask you a question?" Pierre asks and Charles is already nodding. Because he trusts Pierre above everyone about the book. "I didn't know you still loved him?"

Charles drops the spoon in the sauce.

"I know the break-up was hard. It always is when you've been with someone for six years, but you were so happy afterwards that I just assumed you were...moving on, but Charles -" Pierre looks at him with something like heartbreak on his face. "You wrote a book for him. It's a brilliant book, and I think the publishing house will be happy, but...will you?"

How could he not know? How could he not realize how wrong he is? How could he read it and not know?

"It's about you." Charles says, one hand out to lean against the counter. And maybe it's the wrong approach because the pen in Pierre's hand slips from his grasp. "Finding love in someone you've known for years? All of your dreams made anew? The person who is your true counterpart? I was writing about you."

Pierre's nose wrinkles up. "You could have told me that before you made me read the book I thought you wrote for your ex."

Charles laughs - turning to fish the spoon out of the sauce because he feels like he might start crying and he doesn't really want to do that. "Yes, well. I dedicated my last book to you. I thought I was quite obvious."

He's yanked backwards and he drops the spoon into the sauce again, but Pierre is spinning him around, clutching his waist, hand on Charles' face.

They've never been this close before despite the number of years Charles has spent wishing for just this.

"You did." Pierre whispers and Charles wants to kiss him. "You did dedicate it to me."

Charles licks his lips. "I wrote you a whole book this time and you still didn't -"

Pierre cuts him off with a kiss.

Charles thinks that this can be a new lifetime all on it's own.

[trillscienceofficer]

A long time ago @nebulouscoffee asked me to write the DVD commentary of “Best Left” (which is a Raffi/Seven/B'Elanna fic set between Picard S1 and 2) and now I'm finally doing that.

This is inevitably going to get long because the fic itself is much longer than anything else I've ever posted, and I still have so many feelings for a story I put a lot of effort and heart into! But first things first, here's chapter one.

Cris, I know you’re really busy these days on the Stargazer, so I’ll keep this short.

As I was coming up with ideas for “Best Left”, my main goal was to have Raffi (which I knew would be the POV character) in a very different place than where we see her first on Star Trek: Picard. I wanted her, by this point established, long-distance relationship with Seven be a part of the network in which Raffi is now deeply enmeshed (ie La Sirena's crew). That said though, both canon events (by this time Rios has been made captain) and my plot ideas were not very accommodating of having literally everyone on board the ship. It would've been too unwieldy for a project that was already shaping up to be very ambitious for my standards. But while Jurati and Picard's absence is, I think, not that big of a deal, I still very much wanted to underline Raffi and Cris' friendship, which I think is essential in order to understand Raffi and one of the few relationships she's had that didn't go sour on her. I obviated to his physical absence with both real and imaginary correspondence, from which Raffi could draw strength in difficult moments. The fic both begins and closes with Raffi writing a message to him.

Raffi hits send on the message and looks up only to find Elnor at her side, looking just as morose as he’d been a few days earlier, when she’d told him first about the road trip idea. She sighs internally; the queue to transporter hub number four advances. It’s a busy day on the new Betazed spacedock, but luckily no one among the crowd seems the wiser to a Romulan young adult carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He holds the straps of his bag and his staff with a white-knuckle grip. Raffi hooks her left arm into the crook of Elnor’s right. “What’s the matter?”

Rereading this I remembered how fun it was to write Raffi and Elnor interact. My intention here (and throughout the fic) was to have Raffi obviously care for him while also not losing her somewhat world-weary attitude because of her affection. Raffi is still a woman who analyzes everything around her, and acts accordingly—not to mention all the unacknowledged guilt she carries wrt her son Gabe. I didn't want to have Raffi be straightforwardly ‘maternal’, it didn't feel right and I think older women in fiction should be allowed to have mixed feelings about this role more often. Plus, like Raffi herself realizes later in the fic, Elnor has already had plenty of other women bossing him around all his life, he doesn't need one more.

Soji is at the navigation console, smiling and waving a little awkwardly. And finally, Seven watching them from the captain’s chair, which she occupies with ease, leaning on one armrest. The very image of the roguish pirate captain; Cris wishes he could pull it off this well. “Welcome aboard,” Seven says, the hint of a smirk on her lips, as if she’d just heard every single one of Raffi’s thoughts.

I honestly think Raffi is constantly roasting Cris in her head. Also when rereading I was surprised about this reprise of the idea of mind-reading from the previous dialogue between Raffi and Elnor, that was cool and I can't remember if I even wrote it entirely on purpose. In any case, I wanted to have both Soji and Elnor along for this story because (1) they could offer an interesting outsider perspective on the older women drama about to unfold and (2) I wanted to have them interact with each other and have an adventure that had nothing to do with their specific backstories. Writing Soji in this story was so much fun! It was a nice challenge to balance her characterization between the right amounts of deadpan honesty and genuine care, and making it obvious that she's still figuring out how she wants to live her life.

“I don’t think Cris would forgive me if I tried to take La Sirena into another Borg transwarp conduit,” Soji says. “And honestly I’m not sure the ship can take it.” “It wasn’t particularly pleasant on a Borg cube either,” Seven adds. “As I’m sure Elnor remembers.” “Crashing on the surface was worse,” he replies, and some of the gloom lifts from his face. The effect Seven has on people sometimes—but Raffi should be the last to judge, shouldn’t she? It’s not as if seeing Seven again, sitting on that chair so lazily and yet still projecting intent, isn’t reminding Raffi of the few weeks they’d spent on board La Sirena before. But it’s probably best if she revisits that particular recap reel in private.

I based this little Seven-Elnor interaction from my own feelings about my Cool Aunt, which I think are fitting lmao (ie especially as kid, if she was speaking to me I would immediately feel better no matter what)

Also while rereading I was like, damn I made this first half of the chapter so horny... but I've been in a ldr myself and this is pretty true to my own experience. Reuniting always means a mixture of attraction and awkwardness, and it's what I wanted to convey about Raffi and Seven here, especially since they both have a hard time trusting in people or believing that they're capable of being around people without fucking it up. The following misunderstanding about room assignments is part of this pattern.

She’s re-learning restraint, in the hardest way possible, in other facets of her life.

So here comes the part of this fic I agonized over the most... Raffi's history of substance abuse and her current commitment to sobriety. I thought the latter is what fit better with Raffi's actions on the second half of S1 (ie locking herself out of the replicator) and some scenes of S2—imho those are clues that she (wants to) simply quit. Now, a commitment to complete sobriety (including weed snakeleaf, like in a 12-step program) is not necessarily an effective way to treat addiction long term—actually quite the opposite, from what I could learn from the research I did, even if still the most popular recommended form of treatment today. I'm not entirely sure it would be at all recommended in the 24th century. So how to reconcile this with the hints about Raffi quitting cold-turkey? Is it even something I would want to depict in a good light? What I eventually tried to do is treat the matter strictly from a character perspective. I hinted that Raffi is seeing a counselor, and now feeling part of a network of people, and is now restored to her place in society via Starfleet (from her perspective). Sobriety is something she thinks she should do and can do now, so that's what Raffi did; it's all part of her wider commitment to live a different life. If this also has a whiff of self-punishment... I don't think you'd be entirely wrong. I tried to hint that Raffi has her own thoughts on her addiction but I don't necessarily share them myself (see the disclaimer on top of chapter 4), and those thoughts might be another way in which she's denying herself (because no one else grants it to her either) the compassion I think she deserves. It's a really complex topic and I don't know if I did it justice here. I welcome feedback if you have any.

She’d thought she’d lost any interest in making out, over the years—she was surprised to find out how much Seven enjoys it, and how much of that enjoyment is infectious.

I have this headcanon that Seven really enjoys making out (it's appeared in other fic of mine too, eg “Doing the Unstuck”) and her partners never expect this of her. I think I like the idea that Seven's approach to sex and intimacy is still about the sudden thrill of closeness she displayed when she twirled Chakotay around in order to kiss him lol. I especially like the idea it's one of the things about Seven that's not changed despite all that happened to her since said kiss, and that she could bring Raffi to enjoy making out again as well.

It’s still the same suitcase-shaped contraption that she cobbled together months earlier with Borg parts from the Artifact, as far as Raffi can tell. Some other parts Seven had replicated on La Sirena, and then had proceeded to build the device with surprising ease. She’d explained that it was a modular design she and other friends had come up with over the years. It hadn’t been the first time she’d found herself needing a regenerator without having one handy. Raffi had admired her resourcefulness then, and still does now.

I ranted a lot about Seven's regeneration last summer, and all my thoughts and headcanons ended up in this fic. Regeneration for Seven is now a bit different than what it used to be on Voyager; still a necessity but quicker, and something that doesn't tie her down to bulky machinery any longer. Something that ultimately Seven has more control over. However, it's also a necessity that now needs to be articulated explicitly to the people she's close to, and that other people have to learn to take into account about her. I also wanted Seven to determine clear boundaries around regeneration—eg, here she doesn't want other people around when she regenerates—but boundaries that she is still constantly renegotiating, as it happens in chapter two when she invites Raffi to stay. Seven isn't used to be around people much anymore, so she's still adapting to new realities (like her relationship with Raffi) and rethinking what is comfortable for her.

“I hope your other stops were less frustrating than Trill,” Raffi offers, making her presence known. Soji looks up at her, and her face breaks into a smile. “Oh hey, I didn’t realize you were here, Raffi. But yes, I can honestly say it was the worst one so far. I think, and Agnes agrees, that their academic institutions really opposed the lifting of the synth ban for some reason.”

This little piece of Trill worldbuilding came to be because in “Second Self” Una McCormack wrote that Raffi has taken part in the zhian'tara of a colleague. Which is absolutely bonkers to me!! I couldn't help myself and expand on it a bit, all the while maintaining my stance on Trill being very conservative when it comes to decide on people's personhood. I know it's maybe controversial but I really don't think Trill institutions are that enlightened on the topic. They might think they are, but in presence of someone like Soji the appearance would crumble immediately. I honestly loved revisiting my Trill feelings through Raffi and Soji, I haven't written Dax fic in a very long time, so this was a nice way for me to scratch that itch.

Raffi crosses her legs, raises an eyebrow. She’s reminded all too well of when Soji had first come aboard, the confusion of a young woman whose entire life as she knew it had been a deception. She can recall how Soji described her relationship with Narek, and how Raffi had been the one to name his behavior for what it was. Maybe some pointing out of the obvious is needed here too.

This is one of the things that caught my attention the most when I rewatched S1—Raffi has been looking out for Soji practically from the start, calling out Narek's presence for what it was (abusive). I wanted to let Raffi speak her mind here as well, about the kind of interactions Soji has had while on tour.

A scratchy, stuttering audio signal starts playing from La Sirena’s bridge speakers. ‘—damage. Propulsion systems offline. Atmospheric controls—’ More digital artifacting of the signal. ‘—predict where the subspace eddies will take the ship. I don’t know how long I still have—’ The audio signal cuts off, then the message repeats once again. ‘—damage. Propulsion systems offline. Atmospheric controls—’ “I think that’s all of it,” Soji says, soberly. “Damn,” Raffi says, at a loss. “She’s dying, if not already dead,” Elnor says, voicing what everyone is thinking. He turns to Raffi. “What do we do?”

When she read this chapter, my partner asked me about the use of pronouns for the yet unknown person in distress—here Elnor assumes it's a she, while Raffi and Soji don't. It was actually on purpose, I wanted to hint at the fact that Elnor's default assumption is that the people that do stuff out there in space are women because the Qowat Milat usually speaks in these terms as well. Maybe it's silly, I don't know, but I wrote it in anyway as a subtle wordlbuilding detail. Maybe too subtle if it leads to pronoun confusion.

“I’m not sure I could live with myself if we didn’t try to save the crew of that ship. There’s a chance they might still be alive.” “Then let’s do it,” Raffi says with a curt nod. “You’re in command of La Sirena now.”

In the rescue scene I tried very hard to let Raffi do tactical evaluation in a way that didn't come off as callous as it sometimes does for Worf on TNG or Tuvok on Voyager—she's honestly trying to give Soji, now in command, a good overview of the situation.

Raffi takes a long look at Elnor, and to his credit he looks genuinely curious, hands folded together, leaning with his elbows on his knees. She knows better than to doubt his intentions, but—when he wants, he knows exactly when and how to ask one of his blunt questions for maximum effect, doesn’t he? In this case, distraction. She idly wonders if this is a skill that everyone in the Qowat Milat picks up, along with the assassin training. Using the truth as a finely honed blade, rather than the cudgel it’s always reminded her of.

That the absolute candor tenet of the Qowat Milat may be used in more than one way and for more than one goal is something I already written about before (ie in “Policy of Truth”). I think Raffi has her own different ideas about telling the truth because she's trained in intelligence gathering and also because pursuing the truth has always been painful for her—see her quest to find out who was behind the Mars attack. So here she's surprised to find out that Elnor's honesty is not at all a weakness, which she's assumed so far, but rather a very well-honed skill.

“It is the ship we’re looking for,” Soji confirms, going through the readings with, once again, an ease that belies her actual experiences. “It is still transmitting the distress call, though it’s extremely garbled. The hull is pressurized, somehow, at least partially. Life signs—one, I think. Humanoid. Very faint” She looks at Raffi, eyes wide, and Raffi braces herself. “We have to beam them over. The subspace tug might breach the hull at any time. I know that we have no idea who we’ll find, but they’re dying.” Goddammit. They really should’ve woken Seven up before getting here. Then again, at this point it’s probably best to ask for forgiveness than permission. If they’re all still alive to do so. But they will; a boy assassin, an android with super strength, and Raffi. Risk assessment used to be her job in Starfleet, long ago.

I still really like Raffi thinking 'oh well, too late to go back now, but at least I have backup'. I thought about her characterization a lot while writing this fic, and tried to convey her dry humor at best I can. She's really funny in canon! I really enjoyed writing her constant quips, even if they're just in her head.

Down the stairs, she hears Emil grumble. “I can’t deliver proper emergency care if you rush me.” “You’ll replicate what you need, as you need it,” Soji retorts impatiently. “Just initiate the transport.”

All EMHs are the same.

She’s older now, and out of uniform, looking much worse for wear after what she just went through. But there’d been a time more than twenty years prior when her face had been on every Federation newsfeed, along with the rest of the crew of the USS Voyager. “You know her?” Raffi turns to Soji, frozen in bemusement beside Emil. “I’ve never met her but yes, I know who she is,” Raffi says. “You two stay here and keep an eye on things. Seven needs to see this.”

I really like the way this chapter ends (so much so that it's the quote I chose for the fic summary on AO3). I thought about the idea of generational difference a lot when coming up with this fic, and how Raffi has witnessed so many momentous events, like the return of Voyager, that Elnor and even Soji really have no context for. It's an interesting aspect of having older characters that weren't around in previous shows, and an opportunity for a different perspective that unfortunately I think Star Trek: Picard squandered completely (Una McCormack was more attentive in her novels, luckily). Regardless, Raffi's experience turns out to be an asset more than once in this fic—no one aboard La Sirena at this point is as intimately aware of the events of the Dominion War as she is.

[thediktatortot]

Putting out feelers for a Harringrove, Steddie or some Harringroveson friendship The Last Of Us Au Rp. I’ve been trying to get myself back into writing after this winters bout of depression so I need something I can chip away at with someone. I have a NSFW Rp going on with someone else atm, so I’m looking for someone very Gen for this one (though I still want there to be like…romantic tension and all that good stuff.)

Looking for something either medium or long story idea wise. Low pressure to respond, I can sometimes need a few days reprieve from writing, so no pressure for having to wait between posts. I can also get into the groove, so if you get into a groove no shame lol. EST hours.

I wrote up an opening already because I was inspired, so just hit me up if you are interested. I’m primarily asking Mutuals.

I had a partially thought of story idea for a TLOU crossover where Steve and Billy end up meeting up in the open world, probably a smaller city where Steve was separated from the kids and the other adults at some point in time but he learned about where they were taken, somewhere up northern to another GQ zone that's much bigger and is run by more official government so it's assumed to be 'safer' though it's not necessarily, but it's still pretty heavily guarded. Billy is ALSO trying to get there, but for very different reasons (I imagine he's apart of the fireflies in this only because he doesn't agree with Fredra's ways and he is a survivalist). He got seperated from his partner Eddie who was taken by raiders and he's trying to track him down since he had the information they needed to bring down that particular section of Fedra.

Billy has been unfortunately wounded and is holed up in a house/building somewhere to heal, rationing his food before Steve comes along and finds him. They get into a fight obviously, or Billy traps him or catches him off guard but they eventually figure out they aren't going to kill each other.

Steve is open, too open and just happy to see people and tells Billy all about the kids and his adult friends and how he's desperate to find them and be reunited with them. Billy of course, at first, takes advantage of his naivety bc he doesn't know this guy from adam and he needs help to get what he needs. So he tells Steve he'll guide him to the GQ if only they go after to save his partner.

Queue adventure.

——

Steve stepped up to the entrance of what looked like an old dollar store, glancing side to side down the road to make sure there wasn't anyone watching where he was going before he adjusted the backpack against his shoulders and pushed the old glass door open. It creaked on it's hinges causing him to cringe, stopping so there was just enough space for him to squeeze himself through before closing the door once again.

He'd been safe so far, strayed away from populated areas after escaping the Indiana GQ zone, stuck to dense forests and mountains before walking large swaths of flat grasslands that made up the Iowa state. Or at least, he hoped he was in Iowa, seeing as he'd never used a map before his escape from Fedra's walls.

"*fuck*." Steve whispered to himself, staying quiet as he listened for any movement inside the smaller building, eyes raking through the pilfered racks of old junk food and magazines. Nothing was ever easy, nothing was quiet and nothing ever turned out right if he was to believe the people in Fedra, their propaganda on staying in the safe zones they'd made for the people of this world.

Safe was relative in this life, seeing as Fedra had done their own fair share of destruction and killing to rival the infection.

Steve wished he saw what the world before looked like, seen it in magazines some of the other boys in the GQ had found after coming back from illegal trips outside the walls. It was...colorful back then it seemed, lights everywhere, music and noise, no one afraid to step outside their door in fear of getting bitten or raped by the many monsters that existed in this world.

But he'd never get to see that so he pushed on, ruffling his hair of the dust that fell down from the top of the old door and coated him, leaning down to pick up a piece of debris to toss into the back of the store.

Nothing. No movement.

"Fucking finally." Steve sighed, rubbing a dirty hand over his stubbled face as he walked further into the old store. He was exausted and hungry, his rations getting smaller and smaller by the day and he knew he needed the energy to spend a few days resource gathering but he'd only manage to do it if he had a nights rest. Sleeping on top of box trucks and in trees wasn't really a way to get a full eight hours of shut eye.

"Ok...search, secure, sleep." Steve mumbled to himself, having been alone for a while now that it was the only way he got to hear another voice. "Maybe you'll get lucky." He huffed, fingers sliding along the metal shelf as he walked the isle slowly. "Maybe this time you might find some expired boxes of crackers or something- *oh* or maybe-" Steve moved quicker to the back of the store, his eyes lighting as he saw a can on the ground, the top unopened.

[ewebie]

2023: An Author's Review

I've gotten in the habit (over the past 10+ years) of posting an author's review of what I've done on AO3. Since I started my Patreon, I've been posting it here and sharing across Tumblr and Twitter (*cough* I mean X? *cough*). I think it's good to take stock, be honest about what was possible and look and what I want for the next year. So here it is:

2023... I am not sure I'd say "astonishing" but it was a year of surprises (good and bad). It was a busy and chaotic year, but I really have been on a healing journey and both mentally and physically am much better than this time last year.

Hubs and made a temporary (planned for one year) move across the Atlantic in 2022 and came back to Ireland in July 2023. I was working part/full-time with research and grant writing, doing hands on clinical and remote parts. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, though it was much more sedentary than what I'm used to for a day's work. It's been rough coming back... the stress on the systems from the pandemic and (frankly) fucking conservatives ruining anything good has made remaining here untenable. After losing my FIL in the autumn and my own family having ongoing health scares, Hubs and I have decided to go back to the US in 2024... So... it's been a bit of a limbo.

Even with all the chaos of a move and work and... *gestures at everything* I did manage to accomplish a few things.

Summary of writing in 2023:

I set out with the goal of posting The Hayloft on a weekly posting schedule (without break) until complete. I'm SUPER proud of myself for managing that. It's >70k words and 38 chapters (with a 39th for ANs). Between the schedule, having 2 betas (thank you Paia and Sky), responding to comments, and the HTML bits of posting, it consumed a lot of my time (we won't mention that I finished writing it while posting)... But I'm very happy with the final product and with myself for keeping to the schedule.

In April, fresh out of 221B Con, I did a Mystrade Monday based on the prompt "Don't threaten me with a good time." It's a short one-shot, and lyric-based in title (Nod to Panic at the Disco) called Champagne, Cocaine, Gasoline. (because who doesn't want a damp Lestrade?)

So that brings us to May - when things started to get really busy as I prepped to move, and the Mystrade is Family collection, to which I submitted 2 fics. The first was in response to Paia sending me a tiktok: Mistakes Were Made (though not by me), tiktok is at the end of the fic. And I somewhat love Greg's much younger sister, Roxy. I also dipped back into the When You're Fast Asleep series with Think Happy Thoughts.

June and July were mental... packed up my life again, drove the length of the US, moved back to the other side of the Atlantic, moved BACK INTO my flat, repaired the car, resorted my jobs, lost my FIL, went back to the US for the funeral, went back to the US again for Thanksgiving. A lot of stress... not a lot of writing. But I did keep up with Hayloft posting and finished the end of September.

October, I took some of the nonsense in my real-life and the MRC server members' real-lives and made a fic strictly to name-shame people we met and or didn't like. Queue's Next was rather cathartic for that.

In November, I (finally) finished a fic for the RGBA for Lav. She'd asked for something in the Safety First/KKBB universe, and a pet... and we ended up with Blunderbuss. Because murder husbands needed an orange cat. And having dropped back into the Safety First universe, I added H is for Heel and I is for Industry Standards to the work.

Still a bit stuck in Safety First, I wrote a murder husbands Xmas fic with J is for Jingle Bells and put that up mid-December.

On Christmas Eve, I posted a soft short from the When You're Fast Asleep series called All Is Calm. The series really suits calm and warm drabble.

Because I was SO soft of Christmas Eve, I posted a SPICY short in Safety First on Christmas Day called K is for Knife's Edge. And just to round out the year, I dropped a New Year's Eve present with L is for Line of Sight. 

Overall, I published shy of 100k words (though, I only wrote about 70k... Hayloft was mostly written coming into 2023, but all of the posting was this year) with 16k hits and I now have 380 user subscriptions and 7000 bookmarks. It was a solid effort and I've spent the year only writing Mystrade -- though... I've expanded my reading ships (for this I blame BeautifulFiction).

Plan for 2024: Keep myself sane. I have another few chapters for Safety First in the works... there's something so very compelling about the murder husbands. I have 2 WIPs that are very nearly done and I just need to push through the last... 2k or so. So I hope to be putting those up in the first quarter. Be on the look out for The Marshmallow Experiment and Ambien Wife (though, those are both working titles). There’s a few bigger projects that I’ve back-burnered or have been plodding along with, including "the sad one" and "the Pretty Woman one" and some complex, multichapter things. Trello has been excellent this year to keep my bunnies sorted and in some sort of order.

Working titles of a few:

Lesser Things

Used Books

Wrecking Ball

The Time Has Come

Attack the Cheese Block

Of Legwork and Dogs Bodies

Make Yourself

Bad Santa

I hope to keep adding shorts to Safety First and Badges and 'Brellas (I didn't manage any in B&B in 2023... though, Champagne was short enough). I'm not going to aim for monthly new works, I know how much time and energy the move is going to take. I also will try to learn the new features here on Patreon and the collections thing... maybe organise this a bit better.

Many thanks to everyone who has beta'd works for me through the year (this year was mostly Paia -- many times for her many many sins, but also Sky for doing a French language beta on Hayloft, Anne and Stella for the on-demand, and Mousie for the murder feedback). Thank you to the Asylum (nee Jail) - you're all gremlins and I-A-Door-You! Thank you to the MRC for being just... whatever it is you are. And the OGC - because intercontinental chat groups are their own, special nonsense!

I want to thank my patrons (you can find me on patreon here... thank you for thanking me for existing!). Everyone that has left kudos and comments and reblogs and likes. Anyone who has dropped me a message or a thought and has generally enjoyed or encouraged my writing this past year. And those of you who followed Hayloft posting and commented along the way -- amazingly supportive! ILY all!!

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

I posted 2,777 times in 2022

129 posts created (5%)

2,648 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@littlegreenplasticsoldier

@manawhaat

@waywardnerd67

@smol-and-grumpy

@spnfanficpond

I tagged 1,246 of my posts in 2022

#queue has four redundant letters - 682 posts

#dean x reader - 307 posts

#au - 249 posts

#dean fluff - 226 posts

#rpf - 139 posts

#manta ray reads - 139 posts

#jensen x reader - 126 posts

#dean smut - 111 posts

#dean angst - 105 posts

#lol - 97 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#and how sheets need to be washed on the regular because he's a dirty boy who's dirty and doesn't wear jammies

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jensen Ackles #SPNDC gold panel

197 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#4

Jensen Ackles #SPNDC gold panel

216 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#3

I'm sad that there is no new episode of #TheWinchesters tonight, but looking at his silly face makes it better.

Jensen Ackles, SPNDC2022, main panel.

250 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#2

Sam's Last Straw

A/N: This was supposed to be a ficlet or just a little something about what I would write if I actually wrote something, but instead, I actually wrote something! Prompt provided by @wingedcatninja.

Prompt: Dean x Reader, hurt/comfort

Summary: Dean and the Reader are BOTH hurt on a hunt and Sam has to take care of them. They get... needy.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Nothing. It's just so freaking fluffy.

Word count: 2322 words

After much squabbling (Dean was hurt worse, but you kind of had to pee), Sam carried you to the bathroom, then helped Dean get settled in his room, then carried you from the bathroom to your bedroom. He left you with an apology and a set of guilty puppy eyes, then raced off to find supplies.

You got changed into comfy clothes all by yourself, thank…Pete, maybe? Can’t thank God anymore, so might as well thank a random dude named Pete. It was about as effective. Anyway, a severely sprained ankle and bruised/possibly cracked ribs made things difficult, but not impossible. Mostly. You’d gotten off easy. Dean had broken his leg. Luckily, it was just a hairline fracture that would heal in a few weeks, but he was non-weight-bearing for a while. As were you. And the little clinic you’d visited for the x-rays was all out of crutches. Hence Sam running around like a one-armed paperhanger to help you both.

Sam appeared in your doorway, slightly out of breath and still with the guilty puppy eyes. “I could have sworn we had two sets of crutches in the infirmary, but I can only find one. There’s not even a cane or a walker or anything, so I went online and ordered us a bunch. They’ll be at the post office in a couple of days. Until then, I’ll keep helping you two and you can share the one pair, right?”

“Sam,” you replied with a sigh, “With the ribs, I can barely sit up straight without pain, so I think hanging out in bed is going to suit me just fine. Let Dean keep the crutches and I’ll just use my desk chair or something if I really need to get around.” You shrugged as your mind started to put together a makeshift walker with your chair and a towel or something so it would slide on the bunker’s cement floors.

“Although that sounds like a neat idea, I insist on you just relaxing, okay? Stay in bed, and just call me if you need anything. It’s my fault you’re hurt, anyway. I will bring you food and whatever you want until the crutches and stuff get here. Okay?”

Gosh, he looked so sad and guilty. “Sam, it’s not your fault I got hurt! The plan went sideways, that’s all! The plan always goes sideways, and it’s no biggie! You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot as an apology because there’s no apology necessary.”

“I insist!” he argued. “Really, I want to!”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine. Whatever you want. But honestly, just bring me some food every so often and I’ll be okay, okay?”

“Okay.” Sam grinned.

“But Sam—”

“Yeah?”

“Could you go to Walmart and pick up some things?” You pulled out your phone and texted him a short list. Back scratcher or something for under-cast itches, a couple of different pies, those little frozen mini pizzas Dean loved, and slide-on slippers to wear until he could get his boots on, again. “I don’t really need anything, but Dean’s gonna need some things with that cast he’s got.”

“Just for Dean?” Sam bit his lips to stop from smirking and you rolled your eyes.

“It doesn’t mean anything, Sam! In fact, don’t even tell him it was my idea.” You crossed your arms over your chest and dared him to argue with you, hiding the fear that Sam would spill the beans about your crush. Your face heated without your permission, though, giving you away.

“Yeah, yeah, doesn’t mean a thing,” Sam teased as he shut the door behind him.

Across the hall, a similar scene played out with Dean.

“Hey, Dean, I’m heading to Walmart to pick up some things. Want anything?”

Dean shifted and picked up his phone. “Yeah. Well, I don’t really need anything, but I bet Y/N does. She’s going to want to soak in the bathtub with some Epsom salts for those ribs, and she’ll want some arnica for bruising, which we’re all out of. And get her some cute fuzzy slippers to wear until she can fit her shoes on, again, or her feet will get cold on the cement floors.” Dean tapped away on his phone. “Here, I’m texting you a list.”

“Slippers?” Sam teased. “And nothing for you, huh?”

Dean looked up from his phone and glared at his brother. “I know you think it means something but it doesn’t mean anything! In fact, don’t even tell her it was my idea! Take the credit for yourself and earn her forgiveness since she got hurt saving your ass,” Dean groused.

A grimace replaced Sam’s grin. He really did feel bad about you having been where he was supposed to be and you then getting hurt. “She’s already forgiven me, and I’ve already promised to take care of her until she’s mobile again to make up for her getting hurt. I don’t need to take credit for your ideas. Why don’t you keep your credit and just tell her how you feel?”

“There are no feelings, Sam, so just take the list, get the stuff, and do whatever you need to do to help her feel better. Maybe you could watch rom coms and braid each other’s hair?”

Sam bit his lips for the second time that hour to keep a smirk from forming. “Alright, man. Whatever you say. I’m off to Walmart.”

See the full post

347 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Jensen Ackles #SPNDC gold panel

825 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[marquez-junky8920]

About my blog! I was tagged by the wonderful @marcsmarquez. 😌

1. Why did you choose your url?

Marc and Fabio are my favorite riders, and Fabio's last name is just too perfect to not put 'oh my god' after it. Thus, marquezquartararohmygod was born. 😂

2. Any side blogs?

Nope! Just this one. My little baby.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Almost 2 years! I took a little break after I deleted my old blog, and just recently came back in October, I think.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Given that I have NO clue what this is, I'm gonna be safe and say no. 😂

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started this blog because, obviously, I'm a whore for motogp, and because I wanted to start writing again and feeling the atmosphere of Tumblr. Gotta say I haven't been disappointed so far.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

So, to make an extremely long story short, I got covid and couldn't go to the motogp race in Austin in 2021 that I had tickets for, and I was so proud of Marc's win there. So that picture stood out to me and holds a meaning for me.

7. Why did you choose your header?

For obvious reasons - two world champions in one picture and my 2 favorite riders.

8. What's your post with the most notes?

For my incorrect quotes, it's this one and for my actual fic writings, it's this one. The first smut I ever wrote, and of course Marc takes the win. 😗✌️

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I think like 9? And I love every single one of them.

10. How many followers do you have?

Only 79. Please help. 🥺🥺

11. How many people do you follow?

24!

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Depends on your definition of a shitpost... 😂😂😂

13. How often do you use tumblr?

I'm on it pretty much every day.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Can't say that I have. Not looking to change that anytime soon either. 😂

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

In terms of talking about the importance of reblogging, I love them. I think it's always important to reblog and support other blogs. But in terms of like those chain reblogs, nah. Not my forte.

16. Do you like tag games?

No I fucking hate them (thanks Emma 🙄) I'm totally kidding, I love you, please don't crucify me. 😂 I really do like tag games actually!

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes! Love love love them. Any type of ask game, I'm 100% there for it.

18. Which of your moots do you think is tumblr famous?

Either Sharon or Brenda. DEFINITELY EMMA APPARENTLY WITH HER 1300ISH FOLLOWERS. (Even though Emma isn't a moot because she doesn't follow me. Be my 80th follower? I'll give you a flower. @marcsmarquez 🌺🥺👉👈)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

If you're nice to me and don't talk shit behind my back, I have a crush on you. That's very sexy and loyal of you. 😏

I tag @73marquez93 @marc-marquez93 @icemanhoneybadger @sachsenking93 @souds7 @fabioquartararhoe @fabiettoquataro @alexmarquez-73 and @motogpee

[breakfast-cereal]

Stupid For You (2) -Johnlock

← ← MAIN MASTERLIST

← PART ONE

PART THREE

!¡Trigger Warning¡! DO NOT IGNORE!: mentions to drugs and addiction, alcohol use, vomiting, hints to declining/poor mental health.

Rosie's hair was in a slightly dishevelled braid that reached just above her shoulder blades

"Youtube seems to be helpful for tutorials. Slightly inaccurate, though." Sherlock looked as if he was about to write down notes.

"It's YouTube, Sherlock." John looked at Rosie who had a massive grin on her face

Rosie rushed to Sherlock and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, daddy!"

Sherlock didn't seem to protest and accepted the role of a father figure to Rosie. John was confused by this. If Sherlock was a father figure to Rosie wouldn't that insinuate that he and John were together? Does that not bother Sherlock?

"No problem." Sherlock ushered Rosie back to her room and then sat back down to work on the case.

John sat on the couch, sneaking glances at Sherlock while watching some sports game on the telly. He reached for his phone on the table and scrolled through it while watching the telly and concentrating on Sherlock. John was hoping this would have some distraction from his headache. The light from his phone just seemed to make the headache worse. John had opened google and was staring down at it. His headache was horrible and those confusing feelings had returned to plague his thoughts. Without thinking, John entered "John Watson and Sherlock Holmes" into the search bar and entered it. He looked around anxiously as if someone was going to pop out of any corner and catch him looking at this. The worst would be Sherlock. Results popped up raging from "Johnlock" blogs to articles describing their relationship. John clicked on the first article and skimmed it until reaching a part that specifically piqued his interest.

Sherlock Holmes and his partner John Watson's relationship is obviously less than platonic. Relationship expert, Tiffany Laines has confirmed multiple theories with her video "Debunking 'Johnlock'." Laines stated in her video that "Holmes and Watson are very close for just roommates. It seems it's Holmes&Watson rather than just Holmes and Watson. Based on body language queues, like the leaning in from Watson, and the way Holmes' colleagues described him as brash whereas it seems John does not find him that way. Can this mean Holmes treats Watson differently? Of course, we can never be sure with their limited interaction, but my speculation is something is going on."

John read over that paragraph multiple times. He read it for what felt like hours. He stared and analyzed it wanting to know what they meant. What the secret meaning could be even though the truth stared back at him. He wanted to throw his phone. Launch it across the room. Find whoever wrote that article and beat them. Instead, John put his phone down and made his way up to make some tea.

"Tea?" He asked into the air, hoping Sherlock would maybe answer.

"Yes, that'd be nice."

John prepared two cups and watched while the water boiled in the kettle. He listened to it fizz and at some moments John wondered if it would boil over. John could be compared to a kettle. He would fizz and bubble until he reached a point where he would just stop or boil over completely. John believed he was a calm individual, though he wasn't. It's hard being calm when you're rather vigilant all the time.

"I've got it!" John spun to see Sherlock pacing around the house frantically. "It was so obvious how could I have not gotten it!",

"What?",

"It's objects! The numbers were words and the words were objects. I've got a lead, John.",

"How did you manage to get that out of a sheet of numbers?" John was impressed. Well, not impressed, because Sherlock could solve a murder with his eyes closed and hands tied, but his skills were always impressive.

"It became quite obvious with hints. The necklace the woman had is a precious object so at first, I thought it could be something expensive, but there's nothing expensive in our flat. Yes, I'm assuming it is in our flat, as the woman left these papers in our flat rather than taking them to Mrs. Hudson, or some other person. Of course, maybe it's just because she was one to visit us, but with the pieces of paper originally the coordinates seemed to also have directions that were rather similar to the way to get into our flat. To sum it down simply, there's clues in certain objects in our flat." Sherlock seemed so animated when he talked about these things. He always strived for perfection and clarity on his cases and when he got it, it's like it sent him into a high. "Don't drink the tea, by the way.",

"What's wrong with the tea?" John felt overwhelmed with this information. There were hidden messages all over the flat. What if he stepped on one? Or got it wet?

"You added milk to yours. It's expired. Strange you pour the milk before the water." John looked at the milk in his cup that had small chunks in it and dumped it down the sink, sugar swirling down with it.

The kettle finished as John was there and he poured it into Sherlock's cup. He waddled over to Sherlock's desk and placed the tea, noticing the messy state of affairs. Sherlock's desk had papers all over it. The papers in the centre focus were the ones from the most recent case. One paper had computer, Jane Eyre, heart, written on it, while all the others remained blank.

"Heart?" John felt a strange feeling when Sherlock looked panicked. Sherlock looked like that word wasn't supposed to be written.

"Likely mistake. I don't know why that word is there. Stupid mistake." Sherlock quickly flipped over the paper and overemphasized the grab of the cup. "Go watch telly or something. I'm busy." John hated the way Sherlock would brush him off so easily. Even with living with him all these years he still couldn't brush off the hurt it caused. He wanted to get his mind off this, but his mind immediately went to drinks. With what John remembered happened last night, drinking was the last thing he wanted to do. So instead, John left the flat.

He walked the opposite way from the pub. His mind thought of one thing and one thing only; Sherlock. He felt like one of those articles as he speculated what heart could be. Does Sherlock have a secret photo album of Irene Adler? John was sure that Sherlock didn't have any human organs (they had cleaned all those out after John screamed at Sherlock over the fact that if Rosie ever found them she'd be terrified.) Was heart meaning that Sherlock's heart had been taken? Was he in love with someone? John felt a spike of jealousy and resent for whoever this person was. How dare they have Sherlock's heart. Why can't it be John? John paused internally. Why was John so jealous? He didn't like Sherlock. He never liked Sherlock. Sherlock was a friend, but friends don't get jealous over their friend's relationship because they want it to be them. Maybe John wanted Sherlock as a little more than a friend, but he only liked women. His brain was just being weird again. It's because he hadn't been with any women in a while. He just missed Mary, and Sherlock was the only person around that he could be with, so his brain was just skipping to conclusions. John needed to meet someone. There was one person that came to mind, the woman he had met on the bus. He had always wanted more and now was the time for that. He could unblock her number and text her. It would be something that has no strings attached. It will help John get his mind off Sherlock. He'll be able to realize his feelings were stupid.

When John was back at the flat he felt strange guilt. Like sending a text to this woman would be cheating on Sherlock. Sherlock wasn't romantically interested in John at all. John stared at his phone and the text that was sitting and waiting to be sent

Would you maybe want to meet up sometime this week?

John shut off his phone, he needed time to consider. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted something. He wanted someone, but this just didn't feel right to him. She didn't feel right for him. He felt like he would be using her. He would use her to distract himself from his own problems. He didn't need a distraction he needed advice. He really needed advice. Who was he supposed to get advice from?

John sat at a small table with a pink linen table cloth on it. The chairs were rickety and felt as if they were going to fall apart any moment, whereas the table cloth looked pricey and was clearly good quality. It had ballerinas dancing on it, and could definitely be used as a small blanket.

"What are you here for, John?" Mrs. Hudson asked,

"I need some advice." John expected Mrs. Hudson to be the last person he went to, but there he was, sitting in her flat.

"Aw, did something go down between you and Sherlock?",

"No, no, that's not it. Well, I mean. I don't know." John wanted to smack his head into the desk. "I need advice on feelings."

"Oh, John," Mrs. Hudson sounded genuinely caring. Or maybe John just wanted her to care.

"I'm not in love, before you think I am. I'm just confused and I want advice.",

"Is it Sherlock?" Mrs. Hudson knew before John. The articles knew before John. John realized with those words, that he was indeed stupid for Sherlock. He had to admit it to himself. He can't deny it all.

"I don't like men." Denial, denial, denial. All he did was deny. He had realized, but he wasn't going to acknowledge it. He may know, but if he ignores it, it's not real.

"I may be your landlady, but that doesn't make me oblivious." ,

"But I'm not-"

Mrs. Hudson interrupted him, "my advice is to stop denying it."

John pushed up from the table, shocked the chair didn't crumble. "I think that's enough advice for today." He hissed as he left the flat.

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[stressedoutteenager]

Hi! I read your Yousana stories and I loved them, so I decided to send you a prompt... a coffee shop AU where Yousef works at a coffeshop and he's Elias' best friend, he has a crush on Sana (who feels the same but doesn't know if he likes her or if he's just being nice) and every time she goes to buy coffee he flirts with her in his dorky way. Until one day Yousef decide to step up the game to win his girl Sana. I hope you decide to write it!

Hey :) Thank you for reading and the prompt and I wrote it. But I wrote it pretty much in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep so bear with me please :)

Here it is. I hope you like it and please tell me if you liked it :D

————————————————————————————————

Since Sana startedhigh school she has been going to the same coffee shop after school, in breaksor free periods. They just had the best Turkish coffee, which is Sana’sfavorite coffee.

After a particularly hard and exhaustingday of school Sana can’t wait to get her coffee and go home and be by herselffor a while. She is over the moon when she steps into the coffee shop and seesthat there is no queue like there usually is. Sana isn’t the only one thatappreciates the good coffee here.

“Hi! What can I get you?”,says the barista before looking away from the cupcakes he arranges in thedisplay. As soon as he lifts his head and sees Sana standing there, he standsup straight and smiles at her.

“Hi, Sana!”, he says and hopesthat he didn’t give away how happy he is to see her. 

“Hi, Yousef.”, she says with asmall smile. Whenever she comes to get coffee here she secretly andinvoluntarily finds herself wishing that Yousef is working. He is her olderbrother Elias’ best friend and she sees him at her house once in a while. Well,that’s not true. Whenever Yousef is not working he is with Elias at his house.“Can I get a cup of that Turkish coffee with a little bit of sugar.”

Yousef nods and asks her: “To go orto drink here?” He finds himself wishing she answers ‘Here’. But shedoesn’t. Sana wants her coffee to go so Yousef nods, pressing his lipstogether. While he works on her coffee, Sana stands there and just waits.Yousef notices how her gaze wanders around the shop until she finally keepsstaring out of the window. She seems to have had an exhausting day and Yousefwonders if he should ask her about it. Would he cross a line? Yousef has had acrush on Sana since she started to come into the coffee shop two years ago.Before that he would only see her for a few short moments when he was at herhouse with her brother. She would always be polite then and Yousef didn’t andcouldn’t overlook that she is very beautiful but their interactions werelimited.However, when she started coming into the shop, they got to talk more. Mostlysmall talk, though. Yousef didn’t know if she was just being polite or if shewanted to talk to him. He didn’t want to assume anything and make heruncomfortable. That didn’t keep him from noticing her whenever she was there.Sometimes alone, just drinking coffee, reading a book or studying. Sometimeswith her friends. 

“Long day?”, Yousef finallyfinds the courage to ask Sana while putting the lid on her cup. She breaks outfrom her trance and looks at him. She smiles a little and nods but Yousef cantell that she doesn’t feel like smiling.

“This coffee is probably the bestthing about today.”, Sana mumbles but Yousef catches it. Involuntarily hefrowns, which Sana notices. He hands Sana her coffee and before she can moveYousef takes out a chocolate cupcake from the display and holds it out for her.

“On the house.”, he says andSana looks from the cupcake in his hand to him and sees him waiting for her totake it. “There’s not much a good chocolate cupcake can’t distract youfrom.”

He is being so nice to her. This timeSana shows him a genuine smile which she can’t suppress. Yousef doesn’t have todo that; he could’ve just put on a fake sympathetic smile and let her go. Buthe didn’t.

“Thank you!”, Sana says andtakes the cupcake from him and gives him the money for the coffee. Yousef openshis mouth to tell her not to worry about it but she insists on at least payingfor her coffee. 

–

“Elias, we need to get thisdone.”, Sana complains but her brother doesn’t change his mind.

“Sis, we can take a short coffeebreak!”, he reassures her and enters the coffee shop. She rolls her eyesand sighs. Getting anything done when her brother was with her was almostimpossible. And the line to get coffee was long as ever. Elias didn’t care, hewould wait. Sana finds herself looking for Yousef, as always when she stepsfoot into this coffee shop. 

Sana jumps when she suddenly hears hisvoice over all the chatter in the shop. He’s standing next to Elias and says:“I’m on my break but I’ll quickly get your coffees and join you!”Before he leaves the Bakkoush siblings he looks over to Sana and smiles at herand Sana thinks he says Hi to her but isn’t sure because of the other noise inthe shop.

Elias finds a free table at the back ofthe café. Sana is so happy when she can finally sit. Elias and she walkedaround the city for too long and her feet were killing her. 

“Did you tell Yousef what we wantto drink?”, Sana asks her older brother. 

Elias shrugs and then shakes his head.How does he not think of telling Yousef that? “I didn’t. But he’ll knowwhat to bring us.” She doubts he’d remember what they usually drink. Thereare too many customers coming in here for that. Maybe Elias’ order he’d get,they are best friends after all but hers? 

Not long after he left he comes backwith a tray. 

“A vanilla latte for Elias!”,Yousef announces and Sana starts laughing, loudly.

While Yousef turns to her with aconfused look on his face, Elias slides down in his seat just a little bit andshakes his head at Sana as a sign to not say anything. The way Sana smiles, herdimples showing and the knowing look on her face amazes Yousef. To be honest,whatever she does amazes him. 

“Do I want to know what’shappening?”, Yousef asks. Elias shakes his head while Sana nods. Yousefputs down her coffee in front of her which she thanks him for and then he sitsdown.

“Tell me.”, he urges Sana andseeing her smile like that, obviously wanting to somehow embarrass her brother,he forgets that his best friend is sitting at the same table.

Sana nods and presses her lips togetherto calm down. Yousef’s eyes follow every small movement and he has a hard timenot staring at her. If only he knew for sure if she liked him or not, then hecould try to move on or make a move. 

“Just minutes ago Elias complainedabout Vanilla being in everything!”, Sana exclaims. “We’re shoppingfor gifts for Mamma’s birthday and Elias and I couldn’t agree. One of thereasons being him supposedly not liking Vanilla that everything smells like.”

Yousef joins her laughter which Eliasjust shakes his head to. 

“Bro, you should let Sana choose.Let’s be honest, she has better taste than you!”, Yousef says to his bestfriend who just takes a sip from his coffee with a Vanilla shot in it. 

Elias narrows his eyes at his bestfriend and asks: “How would you know?”

“First and foremost: You’redrinking a Vanilla latte; Sana’s drinking Turkish coffee.”, with thatYousef can’t help himself and turns to Sana once more. She has the cup raisedto her mouth and watches the two boys talk. When he meets her gaze, she lowersthe cup and licks her lip. Sana looks over at her brother and back at Yousef.

“You’re biased! You take some kindof weird pride in people liking Turkish coffee just because you’re Turkish!”,Elias says jokingly. What he doesn’t know is that it actually makes Yousefhappy that Sana likes Turkish coffee so much. If she likes one Turkish thing,she might like another. Him. He mentally face-palms himself for being sohopeful about the chance that she might like him the way he likes her. Untilnow, she hasn’t been anything but nice. But Sana is a nice girl in general.

“It is really good, though! I likemy coffee strong and not sweet with vanilla like you.”, Sana tells herbrother laughingly and makes Elias sighs overdramatically. Yousef just laughsat that.

“Dude, you’re supposed to be mybest friend. Don’t team up on me with my sister!“ 

They sit there, talking about otherthings, for about ten more minutes. Until Elias announces that they should getgoing soon but he needed to go to the bathroom first. He leaves Yousef and Sanaalone. At first neither of them knows what to say. Both think the other one isjust being nice and neither knows that the other has so much to say but doesn’tknow how.

"When’s your break over?”,Sana decides to ask him. Small talk, the safe bet. 

Yousef looks at the time on his phonebefore looking at Sana again. The sun is shining right through the windowbehind her and makes her look even more beautiful than usual. “Sevenminutes.”

“Oh, and you wasted most of yourbreak with us.”, she comments and chuckles. 

Yousef laughs as well but shakes hishead:“ Nah, that was a good break.. I enjoyed it a lot, actually.”

Sana nods and doesn’t know how toanswer. She did, too. She loved that he was so cool with challenging Elias andteasing him a little. Many people can’t do that because Elias is good at charmingothers. Well, it has its perks that Yousef and Elias know each other forever.

Yousef tries to think of something tokeep the conversation going. He knows he could spend all day talking to her,even when most their conversations were short up until now.

“Hey, do you want to have Turkishcoffee to make at home?” He regrets saying it as soon as the words leavehis mouth. If she does that, she won’t be coming here so often. He curseshimself mentally for not thinking before speaking.

Sana on the other hand starts smilingagain and is happy that Yousef found something to say. She didn’t want to stoptalking but even though she had a lot to say she didn’t know how without beingawkward.

“Well, I wouldn’t know how to makeit, to be honest.”, she confesses and smiles sheepishly. 

“I could show you.”, Yousefsays, maybe too quickly. He adds right after: “If you want to.”

Sana nods and takes the final sip of hernow cold coffee. “Would you really?”

“Of course. I promise I’ll show youthe next time I’m at your house.”, Yousef says. Again, without thinking itthrough first. He just got very excited that she seemed so happy about hissuggestion. And Sana, well, she is really happy about this arrangement. Sheknows it won’t be long until he is at her house again. Elias’ friends basicallylive at the Bakkoush house and Yousef, as Elias’ best friend, is almost alwaysthere.

–

Sana goes to that coffee shop more oftenthan she probably should. If she drank her coffee at home she would save a lotof money. But honestly, she knows that she wouldn’t be able to make it as goodat home as they do it here. And there is another reason why she enjoyscoming here.

Yousef is preoccupied with anothercustomer when he sees Sana walk through the door. He hurries to get the orderout quickly so he can take Sana’s order instead of his colleague. Somehow hemanages to do that and when Sana sees him she walks right up to him.

“Hi.”, she says with a bigsmile. Directly, it’s very obvious to Yousef that Sana is in a good mood andthat makes him smile. He has seen her come in here with a sad or exhaustedexpression too often. Most of the time he didn’t know how to help so he usuallygave her a cupcake or some other dessert to cheer her up a little. Sometimes hewould tell her a stupid joke and act like he just remembered it to not be tooobvious.

Now there is no need for any of that.She seems happy.

“Hi! The usual?”, he respondsand starts making her coffee before she answers. 

“Yeah, but can I also get a coffeewith a lot of sugar and milk?”, Sana adds.

Yousef’s head shoots up to see if hedidn’t notice a friend of hers coming in with Sana. Wouldn’t be the first time.But there is no one. “Of course.”, he says, “So how’s your daygoing?”

Sana leans a little on the counter andwatches as Yousef works efficiently as ever.  Hands moving fast and hiseyes trained on her.

“Good, pretty good. Andyours?” She is genuinely interested and Yousef can see that. 

He answers: “Yeah, well.. I had anexhausting day. I’m having a good day now.”

It’s no secret what he’s implying whichmakes Sana blush and look down at her hands for a few seconds. Yousef slowsdown a little bit to have a few moments more with Sana.

“So, who is the second coffeefor?”, he asks casually. 

In the same casual tone Sana answers: “Fora friend of mine. He’s waiting outside.” As soon as Yousef hears ‘he’, helooks outside and the only one standing there is a blond guy standing with hisback to the window.

Something moves inside him. Yousef isaware that the guy outside probably is only a friend because Sana said it’s afriend and she wouldn’t have a reason to lie to him. Still, he wonders. Allthis time he didn’t have the courage to ask her out. But in this very moment heregrets it more than ever. Sana doesn’t have to wait around for him to get hisshit together and ask her out, if she even liked him like that, that is.

“I’m helping him find a goodbirthday present for his girlfriend. She’s a really good friend of mine andthis way I can have my present for her ready early, too.”, Sana continuesto tell Yousef. When she is in a good mood she tends to share more than shewould otherwise.

A relieved smile finds its way ontoYousef’s lips, which Sana notices. She doesn’t say anything about it though.Yousef gives Sana her friend’s coffee first and quickly scribbles something onher cup while she looks at her phone. She pays, takes the coffees and starts toleave after saying goodbye.

Sana doesn’t get far tough. Her eyesfall onto her cup and she sees something that she never did before. Yousef hadwritten something on her cup. Well, that’s a lie. A few times, when he knewthat she had an exam, he wrote a short good luck message on the cup. But whatshe sees now, written hastily, is a phone number. Yousef’s phone number. She breaksinto a big grin and stops in her tracks.

Yousef sees how she stops walking, rightin front of the door. Did this mean she found it weird that he did that? Yousefjust felt like he needed to do something right now. Was this the wrong thing?He starts panicking but then Sana turns around. With a smile playing on herlips. She silently raises her eyebrows at Yousef who mimics her. She lifts hercup lightly and nods at it. Yousef looks at the cup for a second and then meetsSana’s eyes. He nods and knows that Sana understood him the way he understoodher without saying anything.

“We’ll talk later.”, Sanacalls over to him, smiles and presses her lips together.

“We’ll talk later.”, Yousefaffirms.