#I will say I’ve had a rough few months irl but aH things have turned around lately and I’m much more content in general

[timothylawrence]

Hope this isn't weird to say but I'm really glad you're enjoying a new game and fandom. You seem a lot happier and it's really nice to see! Hope your having a lot of fun!

this is very sweet thank you!!! I am having so much more fun and in general much happier but Ill always love my blands followers and mutuals were like this ->🤞❤️🥺 love y’all always

[fific7]

Into the Darkness / Part 3

The Darkling x Reader

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s literally just lemon zest 🍋 ... I have a vision of Ben Barnes in his black Kefta and riding boots permanently stuck in my brain right now. Attempting to write it right out of there.

Warnings: 18+ please due to NSFW content. Some dom/sub interaction, being restrained, coercion, questionable consent (thankfully it takes place in a fantasy universe), sexual content including oral, rough unprotected* sex. I don’t mention her actual age, but Reader is not underage.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

[My GIF]

“Moi soverennyi... why have you woken me?”

“Why do you think, little dove?”

You realised that this was to be your life from now on.

His hands pulled you up from your prone position, and you found yourself crushed against his body. You knew this was done on purpose - firstly, so that you knew he was naked and secondly, so that you felt his erection against your thigh as he did so. Which you did. How long had you slept? It was probably longer but you felt as if it was only a few minutes, and yet he already wanted to - what had he called it? - fuck you again? You were still sore from earlier; your throat and between your legs felt rubbed raw.

“Turn around and get on your knees.” His voice sounded harsh for some reason, so you rushed to obey although you wondered at his tone. Maybe he didn’t like appearing needy for you, this would after all be the third time he’d had you in the saints knew how many hours. As you were thinking this, your head was pushed back down into the pillows, meaning you were now balanced on your knees and elbows with your bottom in the air.

A long finger was pushed inside you from behind and you cried out in surprise. Another finger joined it immediately and you yelped again. “Be quiet! You make too much noise, woman.” You felt his thumb moving onto the area he’d concentrated on before, rubbing circles onto it, and once again you felt pleasure rippling through you. His fingers started moving in you; coupled with what his thumb was doing, you couldn’t deny that it was enjoyable. You were breathing very shakily.

Suddenly it all stopped, only to be replaced by his hard length abruptly sliding into you without any warning. You screamed, but he’d anticipated this and had pushed your face right into the pillow, virtually silencing all your cries.

He began thrusting into you, grinding against you without mercy, the fingers of one hand digging into your hips, while the other hand kept your face buried in the pillows. You felt him remove it, “Keep your head down,” he said as he did so. His hand went to your breasts, squeezing, massaging as they hung heavy above the mattress, pulling at your nipples and making you squeal. “Will you be QUIET!” he hissed in your ear.

It felt incessant to you, was he never going to stop? He was loudly grunting this time with the effort of pounding into you. He got to make noise, but you didn’t?

You heard his long-drawn-out groan and felt relief, knowing what it meant. Once again, the warmth spread inside you and he pulled out. You felt his juices running down your legs this time, cooling as they hit the air and your skin. You slowly stretched out your back and leg muscles, and lay down gratefully on the bed. The sheets were sticky, you noticed with distaste. You felt the mattress lift slightly; he’d got up and was heading to the door.

You caught a glimpse of his naked body as he walked across the room - tall and lean but nicely muscled. The door was unlocked and he left the bedroom; you supposed he was going to re-dampen the washcloth. He returned, and sure enough you felt the warm washcloth making its way over you. He’d also brought a second washcloth and was attempting to clean up the sticky areas on the sheets.

Perhaps the action of washing you had sparked something; just as you were relaxing into enjoying it, he put his hands under your knees and pulled them up, opening your legs as he did so. You’d started squirming, feeling very exposed and uncomfortable, when you were dealt a stinging blow onto your right thigh. “Stop moving!” he ordered. Gasping, you looked into his angry face but ended up giving another longer, louder, gasp as he quickly shoved his now-erect-again cock fully into you.

You hadn’t even noticed him getting hard again. How long did it take for this to happen in men, you wondered? There was so much you didn’t know. Then you realised that he’d lifted your legs right up and placed your ankles on his shoulders.

This gave him a whole new angle to thrust into you from; he was making the most of it, his pace so fast and each deep thrust forcing a pained moan from you. You were still very tender, but that didn’t seem to have any impact on Kirigan at all. He was obviously extremely keen to continue his ‘training’ of you to accept him at any time, at any place.

For some reason, this time he didn’t finish inside you, leaning back so that his cock slid out of you, spilling onto his stomach instead. However it soon became clear why, when he told you to clean it all off him. You’d reached for the washcloth but he shook his head at you, so you dropped it back onto the bedside table.

Instead, as he’d intended, you’d used your tongue to lick him clean, meaning that all you could taste was his now-familiar salty/musky tang as you lay under the covers, staring up at the ceiling with him lying beside you.

Listening to his shallow, even breathing, wondering again why you’d ended up in his bed as his only ‘companion’.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d eventually fallen asleep, and when you were shaken awake again some time later, you weren’t surprised this time. You looked at him as he leaned over you, and were surprised when he kissed you, tongue easing into your mouth.

He pulled you onto your side, and you felt his cock between your legs. He thrust into you, one hand going to your breast and the other to your thigh, pulling you against him. He moved his fingers to where he disappeared inside you, finding that spot with his thumb and rubbing it over and over, making you jump. His pace was slightly slower this time, his thrusts less punishing. Once he’d released inside you, he continued rubbing at you, massaging your breasts and kissing you until you climaxed. You remembered to thank him as instructed, and he’d stroked your hair as if you were a pet.

This time, as soon as he slid out of you, he more or less fell asleep immediately. It took you longer, as you now had an extremely painful ache between your legs which was difficult to ignore. In the space of a few hours, you’d gone from untouched virgin to having been fucked five times in a row without respite, and it was taking a terrible toll on your body. Your throat still burned, and your hand went between your legs trying to soothe the heat which burned there, and you finally drifted off to sleep.

When you next opened your eyes, it was brighter in the room. He was still fast asleep, but almost as if he’d sensed you were awake, his eyes flickered open. He gazed at you, reaching over and stroking one of your breasts, before rolling your nipple between his fingers. He propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over and letting his tongue lazily run over the nipple and surrounding area, before starting to bite at it. Then he moved to your other breast, beginning the same ritual.

You jumped again as he bit down. “Would it be correct to say that you like my breasts, moi soverennyi?” you asked, staring back at him. “A lot?”

He laughed. “Yes, it would be.” He sat up properly, placing both hands on them and grasping greedily at them. “In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’m obsessed by them. They’re so... full and soft, and a perfect fit for my hands. They’re partly why you are here.”

You sat up a bit. “I’ve been wondering about that... why I’m here, I mean. I did not know you before I was brought to your quarters.”

He toyed with your nipples as he said, “Ah, but I happened to see you in the Camp about a month ago... coming out of your tent in the early morning. In just your trousers and undershirt. You were not aware I was watching you. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t study your body closely in the dawn light, through your thin shirt. Your breasts - what I could see of them - looked perfect that morning. I couldn’t get that vision of you out of my head. And now I have you, in every way. I can touch you, kiss you, fuck you, whatever I want.”

Grabbing one breast again, he kissed your nipple, lapping at it. He looked up at you, grey eyes looking softer than usual. “I’d say that makes me a very lucky man.”

You were silent, absolutely amazed that you’d caught his eye over all the other Grisha women.

He continued, “I’d sent the Oprichniki to bring you here the morning you deserted. I’d decided by then that I needed to make you my companion, only to find that you’d disappeared. But luckily you were in the first place they looked.” He laughed, “You didn’t make it particularly difficult to find you.”

You’d been turning over all he’d just told you in your mind. “You said ‘partly’ why I was here?” you queried.

He nodded, “Yes. I also checked your medical records. You are young, healthy and fertile.”

Your mouth dropped open at the implication.

He said, quite matter-of-factly, hand sliding from your breast to your stomach, “In addition to fulfilling my needs, you’re going to have my child.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were in his tent at the Camp, several days after his revelation. Things had progressed pretty much as they’d started. He’d schooled you in various other sexual positions, had eaten you out several times, and shown you various other things he liked you to do while you were sucking him off. He’d praised you as a quick learner, and continued to take you pretty much whenever he pleased.

He’d finally noticed how chafed you were, and had brought you a balm from the medics. It had helped a little, although not with your sore and over-used vagina and throat.

There were no shackles now; he knew you wouldn’t jeopardise your family by trying to escape. You were even allowed to venture outside. While you were in his tent, you wore a linen robe or more likely nothing at all. But you’d been given a black Kefta to wear when you did leave the tent, the Grisha woman who’d brought it to you giving you a strange and - possibly jealous? - look.

The black Kefta had confused you and so you’d questioned him about it, about why it wasn’t blue.

“Because you belong to me,” he’d answered shortly. “This proclaims that you’re off limits to other men.”

Now it made sense. You’d seen the stares and side-long looks as you walked through the Camp, had heard the whispers. One thought came to you, so you voiced it.

“Your little Sun Summoner had the same, I hear.”

He laughed, “Are you jealous?”

You vigorously shook your head, “No!”

“She wore it for the Winter Fete, that’s all,” he shrugs. “You get to wear yours all the time. And it’s different to hers. Much more splendid. Everyone now knows who you are.”

You glared at him, “And who am I exactly?”

“My consort.” He began undoing his fly, “Come here and kneel down.”

You knelt in front of him. It had taken very little time for you to learn that he liked you rather than him to free his cock from his trousers before you sucked him off, which is what you did now. He slid it into your mouth, as usual keeping his hand firmly on the back of your head so he was in control of you.

You’d also quickly learnt to make almost no noise, as you were no longer servicing him in private.

He moved back from you after a few minutes, leaving your mouth unexpectedly empty. However you’d noticed that in the past couple of days, blow jobs now usually ended in sex. He moved to the large chair in the corner of the tent, sat down and beckoned you over to him.

You went to him and he gestured to his lap. You obediently straddled him, taking his cock inside you as you did so. Moving on him, you saw his head going back, his eyes closing, jaw clenching and hands groping your breasts. He came fairly quickly, no doubt due to the partial blow job, and you slid off him, walking to the other side of the tent to pour a basin of warm water from the large metal jug sitting on a low flame, and a washcloth.

You ran the cloth over him, tucking him back into his uniform trousers before seeing to yourself. As you stood to take the basin away, he caught your wrist, looking intensely at you.

“You’ve learnt well, in a very short space of time. You’re being a very good girl.”

“I thought I was a woman?” you snarked, and he laughed, “Fine...woman, then.” He ran his thumb over the skin of your wrist, “You’ve been taking my cock so well, and you like it rough now, don’t you?”

You nodded dutifully, “Yes, moi soverennyi.” In fact, you didn’t particularly, but you had to keep this dangerous man happy.

“When is your monthly cycle due?” he suddenly asked you. Blushing deeply - this was not something you usually discussed with men - you answered, “About 10 days’ time.” “Make sure to keep track,” he instructed you, “it shouldn’t take long for you to get with child.”

You could believe it. Since you’d been brought to him, he’d been on you constantly. You felt as if you were permanently hobbling around; in addition to oral sex, he usually fucked you three or four times a day, which, according to more gossip you’d heard in the past, was not usual except maybe between newlyweds on their honeymoon. Which you & he definitely were not.

But you’d surprised yourself by having some kind of feelings for him. You were in fact jealous of his ‘little Sun Summoner’ as you called her, although he’d confided to you that they’d never had sex. He also told you that while he had felt a connection with her, she’d ruined that when she’d run off and disappeared from his life.

You’d asked him what he’d do if she returned, and he’d shrugged, “Nothing. She is dead to me.” But you wondered if that was true, or if you’d be cast aside for her.

You seemed to have accepted that you’d be with him for a lot longer than you’d initially expected. Especially if you did become pregnant. He had become more tender with you lately, kissing you when you least expected it or running his fingers down your cheek. One morning, you’d awoken to find him gazing at you and stroking some strands of hair off your face.

But he could still be arrogant, harsh and demanding, meaning that you did your best to keep him pleasured. He would still take you without warning; he’d once shoved you up against the wall of an empty corridor in the Little Palace, undoing your trousers, moving your underwear aside and pushing inside you right then and there. He’d been thrusting into you like a madman, and as usual you felt like it went on forever. You were petrified that someone would see or hear the two of you, in fact you still weren’t sure they hadn’t. But you’d acquiesced as always, and let him have his way with you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Ten days later, he asked if your period had started. You confirmed that it had, that morning. “Well, we shall have to try even harder, shall we not?” Inwardly, you groaned. You definitely wouldn’t be able to walk if that was the case.

He didn’t leave you alone even for those few days, just carried on fucking you when the notion took him. His stamina was quite impressive. He’d even left a strategy meeting he was attending a mere half hour after he’d had sex with you, spent 10 minutes rutting on you, before fixing his slightly dishevelled uniform and returning to his meeting.

He’d also had you brought over to the large tent where he and his senior men held these meetings. One of his men took you to a side entrance which led to a little area screened off from the main space, containing a plain table and chair.

He’d arrived a few moments later, striding over and bending you over the desk, putting his hand over your mouth and pushing roughly inside you from behind, grunting quietly and thrusting into you for some time. His mouth was next to your ear, and he gave his signature long low moan as he came. Then he was gone without one word spoken, before you could even stand up and turn round.

A few minutes later, the same Oprichnik who’d brought you over to the tent arrived, smirking, to take you back. His eyes had run over your body quite blatantly and when you arrived at your tent, you’d said, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to tell General Kirigan how interested you were in my well-being.” The smirk and roving eyes were instantly replaced with fear, and he hurried away from you.

You couldn’t deny Kirigan made it plain that he found you totally desirable, which understandably did wonders for your self-confidence.

However, this back-fired on you. You were now on nodding terms with Ivan, Kirigan’s second-in-command. He was another dangerous man, who you also wished to stay on the right side of. One evening, you were sipping at a small glass of kvas when Ivan came into the tent. He was looking for his commanding officer, who was in one of his interminable meetings.

You asked if he wished to wait for him, as he shouldn’t be long in returning. He accepted and also took a glass of kvas with you, growing more conversational as the time passed. He regaled you with tales of some of his & Kirigan’s exploits, and you’d been laughing at one he’d just told you when the Darkling came striding into the tent. Ivan leapt to his feet and stood at attention.

As he took in the scene before him, Kirigan scowled ferociously at both of you, barking out, “What’s this! I leave for an hour, and you’re sniffing and drooling round my woman like a dog in heat, Ivan?”

Ivan’s face reddened, and he shuffled his feet guiltily. Like most of the men, he found you very attractive. They all knew that Kirigan was fucking you, and he had in fact been thinking what a lucky bastard he was when the man himself had arrived.

“No, moi soverennyi! I assure you... I was waiting for you and I merely spoke of some of our past campaigns.” Kirigan sneered, “Which caused her to laugh? Is what we did so amusing?”

His glare turned to you, “Is it?!” You shook your head, “No... well, it was just Ivan mentioned that you happened to rip your trousers once when you...” but you stopped talking when you saw the expression on his face.

Ivan hastily took his leave, saying he would update him in the morning instead.

The Darkling looked at you with icy eyes. He took off his Kefta and threw it onto one of the chairs, and began unbuckling his trousers. “Take your clothes off, and get on the bed.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

[kyluxtrashpit]

2019 Fic Recap

So I’ve done this for the past few years and I started doing it at the end of 2019 but never managed to finish it. I think between TROS and IRL and then I got really, really sick, I just haven’t had the chance to do so. But fuck it, I decided to finish it anyway even though it’s now 3 months late lmao. So anyway, a recap of my 2019 fics

Total wordcount: 96 419 words. Which is less than last year, but still not too shabby. I wish I could’ve banged something out to get it over 100k but eh, it just didn’t happen. I definitely have enough wip words and whatnot to get me over that bump, though

Tough Love, 6572 words, posted Jan 17

So this was an experimental one. As you all know, I’m pretty hard on the sub!Kylo/dom!Hux train. But I had a conversation with a friend and it turned into one of those ‘okay, I don’t like x dynamic because of a, b, and c. But is it possible to write x without those and make it into something I like?’ and as it turns out, yes, yes it was. Thus this fic happened and here we are. I still really like it and I have a lot of Feelings on this dynamic vs the one I usually write, but that’s an essay in and of itself lmao. It got some great feedback too, which was cool

Take My Breath Away, 1230 words, posted Feb 7

Ah yes, this one, which was based off a throwaway KOTOR ability but was an excuse for me to write Kylo getting stuffed from both ends with some asphyxiation thrown in. And also extremely rough sex + softer aftercare is a weakness of mine haha, so I just had to do it

Fix You, 1994 words, posted Feb 10

So this was my first piece for Bad Things Happen Bingo, which is an event I’m still planning to finish at some point lmao, and that I’ve had a lot of fun with so far. This fic was another that I tried for a more ‘classic’ feel with, though it’s a lot softer. The uncomfortable intimacy. The ‘feelings are happening but we won’t talk about them’. The shaky trust. All of that good stuff. I had fun with it

Keep Your Enemies Closer, 1657 words, posted Feb 24

Another for BTHB! I just love when Hux wins, okay. And I think this was one of those time periods where Kylo was doing all the winning in fics and I just. Needed something different lmao. Emperor Hux remains one my all time fave ideas and it’s still a shame canon never gave it to us. But I have the power to make it happen, so I did. Plus Kylo in a shock collar is always fun >:)

Indulgence, 17 357 works, completed Apr 19, first posted Mar 28

So! This was a continuation to my experiment from above and really it was just an excuse for lots of smut and pampering lmao. Much as I had thought I had said everything I wanted to say with Tough Love, apparently I had not, and this monstrosity formed. There may be a third, more serious piece to finish off the series this year, but I haven’t decided yet. Although, I have to admit, I’m still surprised how poorly this fic did feedback-wise, especially compared to its predecessor and considering it’s the more popular dynamic these days. Tbh some of my best smut is in this fic imo, but ah well, sometimes people just don’t like things and I suppose I have to accept that, even if I’m really, really proud of that thing

(Okay and the rest are behind a cut for length)

Best Served Bloody, 2666 words, posted Apr 29

Another BTHB and, again, not much deeper to it. Beating up Brendol is always fun though lmao. And when I was writing this, I really wanted Hux to be the one to strike at his father. A lot of pieces have Kylo doing it, which is great, but I wanted to do something a little different. I wanted Hux to have the power to save himself. It was fun to write in that way, as a powerful revenge fantasy

The Best, 6450 words, posted May 12

Ah, now this was a fun one lmao. It was born of a horny crack idea but I can’t do real crack, so it ended up as crack treated seriously. And really, I just wanted an excuse to have Kylo sucking dick. A lot of dick. All the dicks he can find lmao. Slutty Kylo fic remains my favourite pwp, so I gotta contribute to the cause, you know. It was a delight to write, though challenging cause it kept turning me on LMAO. Totally worth it though. It was one of the most fun this year for sure

Be My Outlet, 1003 words, posted May 23

There’s not really much of a story behind this one haha. I was horny and I wanted some classic, Not Nice Hux and hatefucking, thus this exists. Plus I miss Kylo getting choked and it’s rare these days to see stuff quite this rough. I also have a bit of a somnophilia thing, which this sort of fits in to. And I’m always a fan of messy, masochist Kylo. So yeah. Idk it’s smut lmao what else could we want? It’s just a short little pwp, but I had a lot of fun with it and it was nice to revisit the classic kylux days

Safe Harbour, 1616 words, posted Jun 13

This one was for kyluxomegaverse week and it was very fun. A/b/o is one of those tropes where I really, really like a lot of it, but there’s also some stuff that’s much less my cup of tea. So I don’t write a lot of it, even though there are aspects of it that I adore. Which this one includes a lot of lmao. I think the nesting is fucking adorable and I wanted to write something soft, so here we are. Plus omega!Kylo is just delightful. Also looking back on it now, this one did really well? Holy shit, I had no idea it was that popular!

With Dignity, 4475 words, posted Jul 1

This was the last for BTHB that I managed last year (and I still intend to finish my card eventually, it’s just been a rough go so far this year lmao). I’m actually very proud of this one because this is the exact sort of angst I love to write. I didn’t intend for it to be as heavy as it ended up being, but when I started looking up the mechanics of force-feeding and reading about the experience of it, the plan changed drastically because holy fuck. I had never thought of it as that much of a torture before. I also enjoy with Hux like, making the reader feel bad for him while also actively reminding them he’s awful and getting that perfect cognitive dissonance. So this was a great excuse to do exactly that. And I love how tough he is even in such circumstances. Despite the heavy subject matter, I had a blast with this one

Greener Grass, 3389 words, posted Jul 14

This one was originally a twitter thread that really got away from me lmao, so I edited it and put it on ao3 because I really liked it. I’ve always liked self-cest as a concept and I thought it’d be interesting for Kylo to interact with a version of himself that made some different choices. One that was happier. And then we see Kylo through Ben’s eyes, see what the dark side has wrought for him. And then, of course, some smut to pull it all together lmao. It was a really fun character study and I had a grand time with it

Subliminal, 5719 words, posted Aug 23

This one! Okay so I’m pretty sure I sent in a couple of khk prompts over the years that were basically this, but no one ever wrote them so I finally did it. I’m honestly surprised hypno kink isn’t actually used more in kylux, considering Hux is canonically in charge of the brainwashing program. So much potential. So I had to write it. I also went down quite a few rabbit holes in researching this (with mixed success lmao) and learned a whole lot about hypno kink in the process. I may have even acquired it as a fetish lmao. But anyway, this one’s a bit darker and it’s fun to write those every once in a while. I think I pulled it off well too

Ashes Among the Stars, 36634 words, posted Dec 1

Ah and my big bang this year! I had a blast with this one although it was quite the challenge. My first fandom was gundam so when I saw this prompt I was very intrigued and ended up getting it. This fic had a lot more world-building than I usually do, which was the primary challenge as I basically had to take aspects from both franchises and sew them together into a new world of its own. I think I did that rather successfully tbh. The plot gave me trouble too but also gave me some of my best eureka moments haha. My partner was also wonderful and made the experience that much better. I know crossovers don’t tend to perform as well, so I was expecting that, though I do wish some more people had given it a chance since I wrote it specifically so that no prior knowledge was needed. But alas, I’m still incredibly proud of it. It’s also my second longest fic ever!

Filthy, 5657 words, posted Dec 9

And here it is, the gangbang fic I’ve always wanted to exist lmao. I had wanted to write this one for a long time, but I could never figure out how to end it, what circumstances would lead to the gangbang. Then a convo with friends gave me the idea and boom, I could finally write it. This fic is just straight up smut and I fucking love it lmao. There needs to be more Kylo gangbang fics tbh

What have I learned?

Last year wasn’t as successful for writing as I’d hoped, given that I wrote less in 2019 than I did in 2018. But also a lot of things happened to me last year. I got a new role at work. My dad had a heart attack (he’s okay though). I had a pretty rough time with my mental health. And then there was the lead up to TROS and the frankly unnecessary amount of stress that caused me. So there was a lot going on and working against me, which is a large part of why I didn’t manage to write as much as I’d hoped I would, and there’s a lot in my folder that I started but just wasn’t able to finish before the end of the year. I worried for a while I was losing interest, but looking back, no, it was definitely the IRL shit lmao. That said, I’m also extremely happy with all of the pieces I did finish, regardless of how well they did. I’m proud of them and I loved writing them, even when it was difficult

One of my goals from last year was to write more, which I didn’t manage, and to get better at answering comments, which I think I did well on for the most part up until post-TROS lmao. I also wanted to do the big bang again (and I was hoping for a reverse, which it was!) and I did. And I also wanted to have fun and keep my confidence with my writing, which I think I was the most successful at. I feel really good about everything I made and I really enjoyed writing them, even if I didn’t manage to finish everything

Goals for 2020?

I think part of the reason I didn’t finish this post in 2019 is because of my TROS breakdown and subsequent stresses associated with it. Because I wasn’t sure what I wanted or what I was going to do. Sometimes I wanted to give up and find a new fandom/ship, other times I was sure I was over it and going to just do whatever the fuck I wanted, and then there was every emotion in between

Now, though, I’m sure I’m going to keep writing here. I haven’t managed much this year yet, but I can feel it coming back to me. I have a post-TROS fic I managed to solve a major problem with the other day. I also have renben as a new ship to excite me. And I still have a lot of wips and BTHB and various others I desperately want to do. Right now, I feel good about my writing and my interest in it is back to normal, which is great. So this year? I’m not going to set a hard goal. I’d love to write more than last year and maybe I will, but it’s okay if I don’t. I’d love to do another big bang this year, but I’m not going to kick myself if I can’t handle it when that time comes. I’d love to finish BTHB, but if it stretches into another year, who cares? My only goal is to just keep writing and keep enjoying it. I want to have fun with it. I want to be happy with whatever pieces I do manage to put out. I want to set aside time to read more fics from others, if I can. And I think all of those will really help with my mental health, which is starting to recover right now, and that’s what’s most important of all

Also thank you all for your patience with me. I know I’ve not been responsive, here or on twitter or to comments, but I am trying my best. It’s been a rough go and I don’t like to whine too much in my fandom spaces. I don’t know when or even if I’ll get back to normal, but I’m trying, and that’s what matters. I love every one of you on here <3

[comicteaparty]

December 21st-December 27th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from December 21st, 2019 to December 27th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

Without heavy spoilers, describe the worst thing you’ve put one of your characters through?

carcarchu

for a comic i haven't released yet (this happens in literally the first chapter so i don't really consider it a spoiler) the main character in this story has a rough life. she's saddled with enormous debts and gets fired from her job, then when things finally start looking up for her she gets hit by a car and "dies" the whole premise of the story is that people who die and get brought back to life by doctors (dead for just a few seconds) get powers

Cronaj

Hmmm.... I won't say whose, but probably the death of their child, and I've done some awful things to my characters. For some reason, all the pain and suffering in the world does not amount to the loss of one's child. To be fair, I don't usually consider it my fault that these horrible things occur in the story, because I couldn't change it if I wanted to. To do so would feel like a lie. These stories exist in my mind independent of what I want, and I'm simply telling them to the world. But yes... that child is the saddest creature I've written.

eli [a winged tale]

Torn apart, watched their friends die, forced to live forever... you name it, we got it In all seriousness, I also like focusing on the small (but not insignificant things) like not having your love reciprocated and questioning your worth. Sometimes it’s the small things that can collectively be destructive.

Capitania do Azar

In some ways, I think I have already done the worst I possibly could to my characters (war, being unable to help and losing their loved ones in darkness and loneliness). But on the other hand, I do plan to extend the mechanics of mind intrusion to the point of completely mangling up people's psyches, so I guess I'll have to wait and see which one feels worse

FeatherNotes

So far in GJS, we've had a character go through some, well, explosive limb loss There's quite a lot of hard things the chars go through / will go through, but i def see the brutality of the leg loss as something pretty huge for the character!

taterviking

I threw my main character under a semi, off a cliff, and shoved a tree branch into his brain. And then when he woke up I gave him long term memory loss and stole 80% of his memories from before he was 12

Kelsey (Kurio)

Boy am I glad none of us are gods heh

taterviking

I kind of treat writing like the Sims: which one am i torturing and which two did I build specifically to get naked together.

eli [a winged tale]

Omg Tater that’s a perfect analogy (edited)

taterviking

the only difference is that I can follow them to work and they're alllllll the money slave/work horse

Also, Viking is my father's name, you can call me Tater ;P

snuffysam

the worst thing that has happened to one of my characters canonically is something i have not and will not describe in-comic, so i'm not about to describe it here. there are certain... types of trauma... where even if a story depicts things realistically, respectfully, and with properly directed condemnation, fans romanticize the hell out of it. and i want no part of that. so, like, i'm keeping this stuff in the character's backstory, because i want to depict living with and growing past traumatic experiences, but i refuse to actually describe/depict what happened so fans don't get the wrong takeaway. the important thing isn't what happened, it's how she deals with it. as for things that actually happen in the comic - one character does get tortured by a government for information?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Oh boy. So I am rather known for torturing my characters. I don’t even know what the worst thing is, but ‘dying horribly’ or ‘very dark and tragic backstory involving abuse and/ or terrible loss’ describes 95% of my casts.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Several of my characters get horribly bitten/eaten by hungry spirits. If they aren't already completely wrecked by the attack, the resulting cursed bite leads to quarantine and ostracization. Even little kids get abandoned or sent away. And those who are eventually totally consumed by the curse... basically become half-dead. ...Yeah, I got a lot of 'worse than death' stuff going on

Nutty (Court of Roses)

Won't say who, but i don't think i could do much worse than giving a character the perfect life and then taking it and everyone they've ever loved away from them in one fell swoop, leaving them to wander aimlessly.

Deo101

I've put all of my characters through different things that I think aren't really comparable as far as saying one is "worse" than the other. Though, I think that I'll probably say making one of them essentially live through a genocide is pretty undeniably the worst thing, and also the only one that I've really canonically discussed.

DanitheCarutor

I'm lowkey into character torture porn, so I like putting my OCs through some shit. Apollo probably has the most cushy life of every character I've ever made, the spoiled brat! The worst thing that will happen, in TGtaHR at least, will be related to death and/or near death. Not so much the subject in itself but how it is used, which may or may not be the worst thing from a reader perspective, but from the character's perspective. I mean...? I guess anything relating to death is pretty bad, but I've kind of seen situations where the person would have considered it a luxury, soooo. I don't know where I'm going with this!(edited)

Deo101

sounds like you're going towards "my comic is the meanest thing I've put my characters through"

you big meanie.

DanitheCarutor

Ah! I'm such a bully! Nothing like putting your characters through the worst to make the positive payoff more worth it.

khkddn

is psychological or physical pain more impactful to readers? prolly depends heavily on the context huh

anyway for my comic I think it is a tie between a psychologically hurtful thing and a physically hurtful thing

the psychological one is a little something I like to call The Dress Arc, and the physical one is called Cold Swiss Cheese

Deo101

Incredible

khkddn

what is the point of having painful scenes if one does not give them cool names amirite

Deo101

Absolutely. You know whats up

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I’d say psychological pain is much worse. A broken leg can heal in a month, but trauma stays with you. Of course, the former can cause the latter, but I always find it much more emotional when the character is feeling internally tortured rather than externally.

DanitheCarutor

I'm no expert but from personal experience with my comic, it's kind of depends on the reader? But physical is more universally comprehensible. A lot of the pain depicted in my story so far is psychological, with a little physical, and I've noticed people who have experience and/or are educated with the psychological aspect are more impacted by that than people who have never experienced or learned about it. Or to be more straightforward, people who have never experienced or have no knowledge of mental/emotional abuse have no idea what's going on in the story. Although when I had a scene where my frail, mentally unstable MC got punched in the face, everyone flipped out equally.

Of course this is just relating to abuse, when it comes to other stuff relating to pain I can't really give an opinion. I would say it's similar, since most people generally need to have a certain level of understanding of something to be impacted by its depiction of fiction, but I have no idea. Lol(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

No, you make a really good point. People generally can’t comprehend a pain they haven’t experienced, so I admit it would make sense to only feel empathy for physical pain if you’ve never known psychological trauma.

DanitheCarutor

Yeah, it's a douchey thing to do since this is subjective (there are people who have experienced trauma who lack the ability to empathize with others who go through something similar and vice versa), but I like to make a game out of figuring out who has and hasn't been in a really bad relationship based on how they respond to my comic irl, and online to an extent. Admittedly I'm hardcore into getting feedback half due to wanting to psychologically evaluate my readerbase.

Kelsey (Kurio)

Wait what?

DanitheCarutor

"What what" what? Don't worry, I don't do anything or judge based on stuff like that since it's so little info, I just like psychology... even if I may not be very good at it.

But yeah, I'm kind of a creep.

DanitheCarutor

Oh yeah, don't be scared to go back to posting in this channel? Thing? I won't be hanging out here, unless someone talks to me directly. I just responded originally because I had a tiny bit of knowledge on the subject asked.

Cronaj

I get that. I'm also kind of creepy. Plus, I kind of feel like webcomics are a bit of a social experience to begin with, which often involves a lot of studying the readers' emotional responses to the story.

keii4ii

Human beings automatically judge each other alllll the time, so part of it is inevitable. I think the most important thing is to acknowledge that you can be a little, very, or even totally wrong. ...The other important thing is, I do think there's a difference between subconsciously judging others and actively looking forward to it? If you are actively looking forward to judging others, that sort of turns your comment section into a social experiment of sorts, and I don't feel comfortable about that. If I knew the creator of a comic I follow was like that, I would be like "uhhhh you do you, but I want no part in that" and never comment.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just.... ideally should be consensual?

I know some people who actually enjoy that kinda stuff, like even if they found out, they'd be like "ohhhhh SMART! :D"... Then there are people who would feel upset if they found out. So yeah, ideally this would be all consensual so people can opt in or out, but I don't know how you can do this while fully informing prospective participants.

DanitheCarutor

It sounds like a lie, but really, I don't judge. I make up fantastical concepts of what kind of person this is based on the little info I get from body language, facial expressions, what they say, and tone of voice but it's all thrown out the window because people are more complicated than that. At the end of the day I'd rather actually get to know the person before I truly judge their character. Also when it comes to normal comments I don't analyze unless the commenter is analyzing, usually the "judging" is when I ask for feedback... like, more than a couple sentences worth to get a good idea of how the story is mentally processed by that person. For example when I was asking for feedback after finishing chapter 4. While I was asking for critique, I also wanted to know how the story affected that person, get a vague idea of what kind of people the story draws in or what kind of people it drives away, etc. And yeah, I kinda go the extra mile with it because that's just how my brain works, it just runs all the time. I assume that person consents to me analyzing them and their experience when they respond to me asking for their opinion, but I dunno. Maybe I'll just... teach myself to not think when it comes to my comic or audience, I don't want to scare people off just because I'm an overly analytical weirdo. <_<'

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

I like when you use the physical pain for psychological pain. like someone is in heavy dangers, and comes out with only a broken leg. the other characters can feel guilty, hurt, etc other feelings. For me, physical pain is not enough, it is the reaction it sparks

DanitheCarutor

Oh uh, also @keii4ii, I can vouch that being analytical doesn't make you smart. My dad is like that and he's a complete moron, also I'm not the brightest bulb in the box either, I'm just a slave to my thoughts. Sorry, just wanted to clear things up to make myself look less bad.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I can understand that side of analysing. I’m often curious about my readers because I don’t have very many; my comics tend to be quite niche. So I wonder about what sort of demographic I’m attracting. From the people who have commented and shared a bit about themselves, it seems to be a lot of European and American adults in the 20-40 range who have received higher education (med students, professors, people in STEM, etc), which to me is kind of wild because I’m not writing ‘smart’ comics. There’s no real science or anything in my dark and morbid fantasy comics, so I’ve wondered what about them appeals to this demographic. This isn’t counting my new WT audience I’ve gained over the last couple of years, which is a very different demographic from those who follow on my site, but it’s really interesting to think about ‘What kinds of stories appeal to certain groups of people?’.

keii4ii

@DanitheCarutor Oh, I didn't mean to imply it was a bad thing. I apologize if that's how it came across. I meant it as a "thing I want vs thing I don't want." Just because I don't want a thing for myself, doesn't make it a bad thing.

Re: demographic analysis, more power to you if you're naturally into it. I'm like 'no..... let me just sit here and make this comic in peace.........' and even that's hard enough!

I do think about that stuff from time to time, but when I do, it's usually because I'm sad and am trying to think of non-worst-case-scenario explanations. So yeah, not something I enjoy pondering.(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Same, even though my comic has gotten more readers than I imagined, it's still niche. Honestly don't know the age range, but I've gotten a range from psychology and medical students, or people with PHDs to normal 9to5ers who've been through similar experiences. (People who live with schizophrenia or clinical depression, or who have been in bad toxic relationships.) It's really interesting too because some of the readers who comment are very open about sharing intimate stuff about their lives without me even asking, which I'm not sure is due to the type of comic it is or because they relate to it? Either way I don't mind, it's kinda nice that someone feels comfortable enough to share that kind of info despite me being a total stranger. That's really interesting with your comic, though! Like, it's cool the types of people your work can attract, maybe your comic is smarter than you think. Lol

@keii4ii Yeah, but I don't want to discourage readers from interacting with my comic just because I'm into that stuff. Even though the work itself is far from safe I want people to feel comfortable enough to leave comments or discuss amongst each other.

keii4ii

Yeah, I think that's the dream for pretty much all of us, cultivating a comment section where everyone feels comfortable and welcome to interact

keii4ii

Getting back to the question, I really don't think I could answer, given the theme of my comic: "your pain matters, even if it doesn't affect the fate of the world/ even if it seems insignificant in the grand scheme of things." I don't have it in me to go against that and say to my characters, hey, guess what! Your pain pales in comparison to [this other character]'s!

Cronaj

That's an interesting thought. I mean, I spoke of what I consider the saddest scene, but really, in regards to the characters, they might not see it that way. That scene makes me cry, (and probably the character(s) directly involved), but the other characters have other sorrows weighing on their hearts, and those sorrows are also powerful in their own way.

[othernecessarythings]

RAWRING 20s ASKS

I made some asks! Have fun!

1. Are you more emo, scene or punk?

um i think emo but only in music taste, i dress quite casual and stuff like that

2. Favourite band?

right now paramore!!

3. Any New Year's resolutions?

ye several, for example seeing at least 10 artists live, some different drugs and have over 800 songs on my playlist,, i like to keep my resolutions as actually possible goals, so that’s that

4. Favourite music video?

ooh maybe hard times? call me basic but i love it.. or like the short video of forest by tøp, where he walks on a street, ye that ones special too

5. Favourite song?

nooo don’t make me choose i love so many?? but like turn it off, graveyard whistling, ouch, avalanche, sudden desire, let’s go (khalid), ribs and like teen idle be kinda hitting rn ngl

6. Panic! At The Disco or Fall Out Boy?

um old panic, i don’t listen to fall out boy as much as i used to

7. Favourite album?

fight me but vessel and the black parade hasn’t got any bad song, and they will always have a very special place in my heart,, but right now? like nothing but thieves’ self titled, after laughter, amo and melodrama

8. Do you own a pair of fingerless gloves or skeleton gloves (or the combination)?

no but i wish i did

9. Do you own any band merch? If so, from what bands?

some, from tøp, paramore and bmth, but i only use my purple paramore hoodie

10. Got a jacket with pins?

i had one but then i took of my pins so not anymore i guess

11. Have you got dyed hair? What colour?

ye i dyed it black a few months ago, so it’s black/brown-ish rn

12. Any hair dying or haircut plans for 2020?

absolutely i’m going to cut it really soon, and i’ll probably dye it quite soon as well

13. Crush on any band member?

uh hayley williams i’m free on wednesdays please h it me up on a wednesday what are you doing next wednesday i’m free on wednesday hayley please

14. Killjoy name?

oo i haven’t thought of one yet

15. Are you into The Used?

no

16. Do you want any tattoos? Of what?

i’ve got one small, but i’d like a few more, like a matching with my sister and stuff but i don’t know any other specifically, just that i want it

17. Can you play any instruments? Which?

mm i’m actually quite good at piano, been playing a few years now

18. Favourite My Chemical Romance song?

oof there’s so many slapping songs, but like one from each album would be honey this mirror isn’t big enough, helena, teenagers/disenchanted, sing/planetary go,, and i am aware that’s basic but like there’s a reason why just those songs have become popular? they’re so damn good (and don’t at me with sing hate, it is a masterpiece and do not deserve the slanter i see on the tl)

19. Do you think Twenty One Pilots are emo?

as a former tøp stan myself can i say quite firmly that they’re definitely emo, but we need to re-evaluate what emo actually means, bc like in terms of the 00’s emo music? no, they’re not emo. they’re not like the emo trinity (lol), BUT they’re the perfect description of a modern emo band? so, no tøp isn’t emo in the old fashioned way, but yes they’re emo in a newer context,, and their stans are definitely emo i mean like come on

20. Are you into Taking Back Sunday?

nah

21. Do you wear any make up?

yeah but just casual, i’m always so amazed by people who wear lots of cool makeup every day, i could never

22. Do you have black painted nails?

lol ye always

23. Have you got any band posters? Of what bands?

mm i’ve got one with paramore that i like, and one with blackbear which is only because i likes the color schemes of it, i don’t listen to him otherwise

24. Do you want any piercings?

not right now

25. What's your opinion on All Time Low? Sleeping With Sirens? Pierce The Veil?

they’re cool i guess but i’ve never looked into them any further

26. Do you think it's just a phase or that you'll be emo/punk\scene forever?

oh the music will always live on with me, but how i think and express myself around the subject “being alternative/emo/pop-rock/whatever” will probably change as i grow into another phase of my life,, and like i’m okay with the thought of living my life in phases, and i’ll probably not be too ashamed of my current self a few years from now

27. Favourite magical/mythical creature?

i don’t really know any :(

28. Are you into Black Veil Brides?

nope

29. Do you like any newer emo/scene/punk bands? Which?

no not really i’m a quite boring music person in the sense of that i only listen to like the same five bands for a whole year,, so all the bands i’m listening to currently are releasing new music, but were created a while ago

30. What's your favourite music genre besides emo/punk\scene?

probably indie rock

31. Are you into Mindless Self Indulgence?

nein

32. Favourite Fall Out Boy song?

uh like i’m a slut for folie so like 27 or the shipped golden standard, but dance dance has always been a personal favorite

33. Are you mostly into the so-called "emo trinity" or "emo quartet" or do you listen to a lot of other bands too?

sigh i listened to both the trinity and the quartet a lot in 2018, i was a big fan of this whole trinity/quarter thing, but now do i just occasionally listen to some of them, but they’re definitely the roots of my emo path in this life

34. What's your opinion on Waterparks? Palaye Royale? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME?

ooh idkhow are both emo/alt/pop-rock and quite new!! i forgot them earlier in this post! ye i love idkhow and their music, but i don’t really listen to waterparks or palaye royale

35. Are you into Bring Me The Horizon?

sure as hell am baby, love them

36. Favourite solo project by a emo/scene\punk band member?

right now is hayley williams solo project petals for armor a huge favorite of mine

37. Are any of your friends IRL emo/scene\punk?

um like kinda yes? or some of them have got the style but not the music, and some have got the music but not the style, so i guess it all adds up to a yes

38. Are you into drawing? If so, show some of your art!

ah i really wish i was creative but unfortunately am i not

39. Favourite colours and colour schemes?

red+black or pastel colors, i shift a lot based on mood, but my go to color schemes are dark blue and black bc i’m always comfortable in them

40. What are some of your favourite lyrics?

damn such a good question, i’ll make a separate post for it and continuesly update it with new lyrics!!

41. The Black Parade or Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge?

sorry but i’m a tbp fan, and you can’t convince me otherwise,, like i love revenge a lot but the black parade just hits different y’know?

42. What's your opinion on Paramore? Green Day? Blink-182?

well my biggest obsession right now is paramore so in short; i absolutely am in love with hayley, taylor and zac, the whole concept of paramore and of course their music+other content, even though they’ve gone through rough (or should i say hard) times

and i’ve listened some to green day, they’re really great and i like them, but there’s too much to get into and i’m not ready to be that much of a huge green day stan yet (will probably never be either) but i can absolutely casually enjoy their music and jam with their songs, without having to get into it any deeper

and for blink-182, i feel like they’re a bit too far away from my preferred genre right now, i will maybe listen to them in the future, probably not, but you never know anything for sure

so that’s all,, i love answering questions like this even though no one will ever read it and i’m cringe i know alright but it makes me feel happy so i’ll keep doing it

[bloojayoolie]

Advice, Ali, and Bad: When you want to show off your marks from knife play but don't think that would do When you realize a bunch of people here have similar kinks as you, but then realize that everyone here seems to be playing online and/or monogamous and you're a poly sub that needs physical contact. redd it When the friend that just played you twice in one night at the dungeon opens group brainstorming on mean things to do to you. iredd i well K. ireddt 344 ubmitted 2 months ar d 40 Flufty | Fuckable NSFW 19 comments share save hide give award report crosspost Submitted 2 months ago by 40 Flutffy Fuckable NSFW 25 comments share save hide give award report crosspost Fuckable N5EW 78 comments share save hide aive award report crosspost JUNE I-g d 40 Fluffy | Fuckable S. 47 points 2 months ago I got flogged on a St. Andrew's Cross and then she and another friend did wax play on me while I was blindfolded and she cut it off with a knife... And d 23 points 2 months ago 40| Fluty | Fuckable S while I was dropping and sleepy she started brainstorming "What other I can't wear my bra because itchy healing lines! It kinda feels like I'm hiding a secret... mean things can I do to Allie?" So far... Needles, sounding, fire play, blood cupping (maybe), orgasm torture (not denial), and Ummm insertions and strapon play. I have to clear some of this with my polycule. So far they all approve. t 17 points 2 months ago 40 Fluffy Fuckable Wtf is "knife play"? turns out I had an audience... I don't mind. Also H g 40 Flufty Fuckable 32 points 2 months ago Bdsm/kink play where one person takes a blade and drags it over your skin, with or without cutting. 3 points 2 months ago That... sounds really hot, except for the needles (whee, phobia). As Without cutting it can be fear play, predicament bondage, or sensation play. You can actually leave welts without drawing blood if you have a sharp enough knife. With cutting all of that still applies, but add blood and pain. long as its all safe. Although, what is blood cupping? 50 points 3 months ago HX x I'm a masochist, so I have long shallow cuts across my chest. H 401 Flufty | Fuckable 22 points 2 months ago When you've been single for over a year and the only physical contact you get is from your dogs :( Small incisions and then cupping over them to pull out blood by vacuum. In this case she wants to do that and then flog me while I'm sensitized by it. This is on the 'maybe' list because blood is a soft limit (almost a hard limit) for me normally, but I trust her. -frustrates sub sounds- When you miss having a dominant irl but are scared to even look for one due to how it ended last time. reddit Submitted 4 months ago by NSFW 11 comments share save hide give award report crosspost permalnk save report give award reply H 7 30 points 3 months ago just make sure not to cum on your cats ed 40 | Flufty | Fuckable permaink save parent report give award reply HM 18 points 2 months ago permalink save parent report gve award reply Ah. That sounds really intense and painful. All of this hot BDSM is more things I'd probably enjoy watching. I think wax play is about as painful as I like. 24 points 3 months ago Lots of cat qirls around here looking to get cummed on . - Lyra/Kitten/Mommy slut for ur juices HRT started 2019-1-11 4 points d 40 | Flufty | Fuckable 17 points 2 months ago I'm... Not a pain slut, but I'm a bit of a masochist... ed 40 Flufty Fuckable 11 points 2 months ago Needles came up because I really want to get my nipples pierced be willing to traln dd What I do with my pussy none of your concern and she thinks her ple And she loves marking people but scars are a hard limit for me HA Knife play is yes please, but cutting is a 'no'. It's a very fine line. (ao) HJ a 3 points 2 months ago 2.1 point 3 months ago HS Hey we got the same name (though mine spelled "Ali"). Represent I don't even have a dog to get physical contact from. permalink save parent report give award reply d 40 | Fluffy Fuckable 3 points 2 months ago It's short for Allison! :) HA n 27 points 3 months ago Poly switch transbian cuddleslut here We exist I swear. m 8 points 2 months ago H f just want to hug all the catgirls 14 points 3 months ago t H My gods, that sounds like a hell of an evening. I love seeing other keen Poly switch transbian cuddleslut doms, it makes me up my game. She does sound veeeery keen! Am glad to hear your going to have fun! t mel Hey, a e Sometimes female, sometimes enby, always kinky 5 points 3 months ago d 40 Fluty | Fuckable S. 18 points 2 months ago H There's a few of us I'm still floating a bit, 2 days later. We need to do negotiation some. She can't own me (my polycule would lose it and I love them) and that makes things a little odd. We're not romantic either. We're good friends and her alpha primal resonates wildly with my pet and prey drives. H No - LyraKitten/Mommy slut for ur juices | HRT started 2019-1-11 4 points 20 points 4 months ago Subby Introverted Kitten permalink save parent report gve award reply me too thanks (except inm actually bi not lesbian but bi culture is just I'm so sorry.... I'm sure you will find someone that will take good care of you! saying gay/les to fit in easier) t HH n I get that, sometimes a partner just clicks! Hope the comedown wasn't too hard on you. The solution I've found worked with my cule is having playmate status with folks, sort of commitment but only in a playtime sense (and the emotional responsibility with it.) 1 points 2 months ago pemalink save report give award reply pemmalnk save parent report give award reply d. 40 | Fluffy Fuckable 0 points 4 months ago H Le ph 3 points 3 months ago I feel silly and selfish because I have romantic partners, but my D/s aspects are a large part of who I am. Hell, I'm still with my old dominant on a non D/s basis. Clone, get back in containment! Basically, her PTSD and emotional issues got on top of her over the summer and instead of dealing with it she ended up abusing me pretty heavily ending with a breach of trust that left me dissociative and feeling 40 | Fluffy | Fuckable S-12 points 2 months ago ed worthless. .9 points 3 months ago Mine is complicated for two reasons: 7 months later I'm still not sexual with any of my rl partners really and I miss sub space and that feeling of belonging... And I don't even know how to go about looking for someone as a poly transbian even though I Poly Domme lesbian here we are a thing lol I have 3 partners I live with One used to be my domme, but couldn't handle the the kink community. am active 5 points 3 months ago responsibility it entailed. permairk save parent repart gnve award reply Another I'm still working out dynamics with because both of us are sub bottoms (different types) and neither of us pursue. Yes hello. If it's your girl friend who you have had for years. Do the sex at me a Subby Introverted Kitten 10 points 4 months ago C again as we commonly do. I'm so sorry.... don't feel bad. It's not silly or selfish to miss being a part of who you are... finding a new dom, I have no experience so I don't know how to help... as for permalink save parent report give award reply Things are cleared now with all but that last and I'll talk to her tonight or tomorrow. k 6 points 3 months ago Hs What 401 Fluffy | Fuckable nalun 12 points 4 months ago d n 7 points 2 months ago Oh, I dont Just needed to say something... I think the wives are tired of me having emotional breakdow can see how the history could make things complex, I'm . glad it's all been okayed with two of them, let's hope for H Je a 5 points 3 months ago the third! Then go have some fun. :P same here except sub! e Subby Introverted Kitten 6 points 4 months ago HC Hey... You can't control your emotions, if they don't want to help you through them then maybe they don't deserve you... ed 40I Flufty | Fuckable 11 points 2 months Fun either way. Just mooooooore fun with approval. Insertions and orgasm torture need approval and well... Being strapped to a table with a Hitachi bound against me and getting tortured sounds like heaven. pemalink save parent report gve award reply j 4 25 MTF, mega submissive, has a cuddle kink 6 points 3 months ago 40 | Flufty I Fuckable S6 points 4 months ago H9 Poly people unite <3 cross while filled, I have 3 partners. 1 is trans. 2 are cis female. We all live together. All, including me, suffered emotional or physical abuse when younger. They support me. They care. But if all we did was discuss our emotional issues we'd never get to the bottom of them and we still wouldn't be 'fixed' in any way. I could tell any of them that I need to cry at them and they'd be happy to listen and comfort me. It would also add to their emotional burden at a time when we've all been on the edge of breaking down. It's been a rough 2 months Not my best picture, but I dyed a huge black stripe in my hair last night and couldn the over conditioning to go away before sharing >.< (redd.it) submitted 4 munds bide give award report crosspost 5 comments sha n4 points 2 months ago HH That sounds like a lot of fun, you've given me some ideas too... My own 'cule may have say thank you at some point. here. o come pemaink save parent repart grve award reply 2 points 4 months ago I'm sure they all still love you and care about what you are going through. How elser are you supposed to fix your emotional issues if you don't talk to someone about e Subby Introverted Kiten d 40 Fluffy | Fuckable 4 points 2 :) if you want to bounce thoughts or anything feel free to pm. them... HM Oh gosh that pic hits hard... Feels like when I try to sub my emotions take over and as much as I crave it I end up bawling and scared at the slightest punishment even though I love my Dom.. He k 2 points 2 months ago Hey, little off topic and feel free to decline to answer. A few months ago I started dating two wonderful girls, and there has been talk of moving in togetherelationship, and I'm urious looking to r When you lost count at 10 already but your partner goes "congratulations, you're multi-orgasmic" and you realize she's nowhere near done yet. Submitted 3 months ago by - NSFW 56 comments share save hide give award report crosspost future b y ts 561 are going to work, is there any advice you can offer? d 40 | Fluffy | Fuckable permalink save parent report give award reply 40| Flufty 4 points 2 months Fuckable It really depends on you. We all share a bedroom. Two beds. We've had them pushed together at times for cuddle piles but right now they're separate for the convenience of a walk way. Then all our clothes go in our offices because there's no room for dressers in the bedroom pemaink save parent report give award reply 2 points 2 months ago Thank you, that's a great help. I was thinking two beds might be the answer myself but then I got in my own head about if I was just being insane... I'm sure we'll make it all make sense when it comes to it. 40 Fluffy Fuckable 2 points 2 H9 I lost count but... Gods.. gonna pass back out now.... d 40 | Flufty | Fuckable 151 points 3 months ago was near tears and too tired to scream anymore and just.. Unnnnnnnnffffff... I'm I'm starting to actually like my hair these days (40yo, 22months hrt) hotted d months 00 by ge When we had three, a California King bed worked, but someone always got stuck in the middle and overheated (usually m comment share save hide give award report crasspost permalink save parent report give award reply e 67 points 3 months ago HP it or was it after an op or anything? Holy fuck, NICE. Did you work up k 2 points 2 months ago tHe Yeah, trapping someone in the middle was also playing on my mind, constantly like 'what if they're too hot' 'what if they need to pee in the middle of the night what if they toss and turn'... I guess I just need to stop overthinking it and go permaink save parent repart grve award reply d 40| Flufty | Fuckable S 149 points 3 months ago Does not having sex for several months due to emotional instability and stress count as working up to it? I'm non-op, so no operation involved. I've been able to hit 2-5 with a lot of luck and work since about 6 months in. Mostly luck. with the flow? Tonight, my partner told me she was stone butch for the evening and I wasn't allowed to touch in response, then basically played me like a piano with the magic wand and toys and wouldn't let me orgasm for awhile. Then she ramped things up and up while still backing off every time I got close until I was basically just a needy puddle... then hit my switches all at once and wouldn't stop for a bit even when I was begging. By then I was hypersensitive and she let me calm down for just a minute and - 40 | Fluffy | Fuckable s 2 points 2 months ago Yeah.... You usually figure out what you need. Two beds with the then began teasing and realized I was still going, so she started very gentle and then kept ramping up on different places and backing off again. walkway is nice. Sometimes I miss. the huge cuddle pile while sleeping but not overheating and being able to go pee are pretty awesome Favorite memory tonight *after I suddenly came again without any idea why and sort of lost a few seconds*: permaink save parent repart gve award reply Her: "You are such a girl." Me: "What?" Her: "You just came because I told you I love you."Me: "Was that what you said?" Her: "Uh huh... and you looked really confused and went 'What the fu-" and came again." Me: "I love you too..." Also: "Oh god no stop what are you doing' isn't your safe word so I'm gonna keep going." The sexual revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

[fific7]

Go Back - Part 1

Josh Sawyer x Reader

A/N: Inspired by the song Go Back by Tony Allen ft. Damon Albarn. Josh’s wife has thrown him out and he’s been avoiding his obsessive ex-girlfriend after a one-night-stand. And then he met you. Life is complicated enough, isn’t it?

Additional A/N: I found Locked In a bit confusing but Ben looked totally hot in it! Sort of like a naughty King Caspian 🔥😉 This is very loosely based on the film plot but I’ve dropped the whole ‘daughter in coma’ part of the storyline so basically have rewritten the film 😄

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults*. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

When you see the stained reflections of city lights

But you're far away at sea, with all the satellites

And the runaways

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

You're a runaway

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

You're a runaway

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

He quickly picked up the glass as soon as the bartender put it down and emptied it of the shot of whisky. The bartender eyed him, taking in the dark good looks, the slumped shoulders as he leant on the bar, his morose expression. “Bad day, bud?” he grunted.

Josh nodded, “And some.” He sighed and tapped the glass, it being swiftly refilled. “Wife’s divorcing me ‘cause she found out I’d hooked up months ago with an ex - just the one time! - and kicked me out. She’s making it difficult for me to see my kid. And the ex has gone into full-on stalker mode.” He downed the second whisky and asked for a beer. The barman popped the top for him and placed the bottle and a tall glass in front of him, “Rough on ya. Hope it works out, man.” He moved away to serve another customer.

Another beer later, Josh left the bar and headed the short distance down to the Charles River, sitting down on a bench next to the water and gazing out across it. It was Friday night and there were quite a few people strolling along the river. How the fuck had he got here? No home, no marriage, no steady job… his phone vibrated in his pocket and made him jump.

He pulled it out. Jesus H Christ! Would this never stop? He killed the call and went into his contacts. Found Renee’s details and deleted them. He should’ve done this months ago. When she next called back - and she would - he’d block her. If he had deleted them in a more timely manner, maybe Emma would never even have found out, he thought bleakly. But then admitted to himself that their marriage hadn’t exactly been a bed of roses the past couple of years, so maybe it was always just fated to end one way or another.

He stood up, sliding his phone back into his jeans pocket and taking one last look at the river flowing past him. Turning to leave, he heard an exclamation and a low cry of pain. A woman was half bent over just a short way along the riverside walkway, making small bunny-hops while clutching her ankle. He approached closer and asked if she needed some help. She smiled up at him, and with that simple gesture his world suddenly got a little bit brighter.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d been walking briskly along the riverside walkway heading to your apartment when you turned your ankle on an uneven area of paving. A low crack accompanied this and for a few awful seconds, you thought you’d actually broken it but then realised the victim was one of your high-heeled shoes.

“Ow! Dammit! Shit!!” you cursed, hopping about like a mad March hare. A shadow fell across the walkway in front of you, and you heard a deep voice asking if you needed help. Looking up, you saw that your knight in shining armour was one of the hottest guys you’d laid eyes on for a long time. You didn’t realise that you were smiling up at him until he suddenly returned your smile.

Without so much as a second thought about stranger danger, you blurted out, “Can you believe I’ve broken the heel of my shoe! And twisted my ankle. Listen, I live just along there..” you pointed, “…would you mind helping me hobble along to my apartment? I’d really appreciate it.” The stranger smiled even more broadly at you, “No problem at all, be happy to.” He offered you his arm and you grabbed it, standing upright and then slipping off your one remaining intact shoe so you could carry both.

The two of you started a slow walk along the riverfront, your ankle still being painful enough to stop you putting any weight on it. So as you’d anticipated, you were indeed hobbling and wobbling along. “Have you got any ice at home?” he asked you. “Yes, but I also have frozen peas,” you laughed, “that’s probably the least messy thing to use as a cold compress, isn’t it?” He smiled back at you again, nodding, and you thought about how much the two of you seemed to be smiling at each other.

“Which is your condo?” he asked, before continuing. ”I’ve just moved in to one myself here very recently.” You pointed out The West End Apartments, “That’s mine.” “Nice,” he nodded, “mine is a bit further back from the water. The Towers at Longfellow.” “Oh yeah, I know them. Looked at an apartment there before I bought mine.” “I’m just renting for now. I… ah…didn’t expect to be looking for an apartment, to tell you the truth.” You glanced across at him and saw that he now had a stony expression on his face. You decided to change the subject, “Could I be a complete pain and ask you to deliver me to my door? There’s an elevator but I’m still struggling a little here.”

The smile was back on his face, “Yes, of course.”

A few moments later, and holding your Good Samaritan’s arm in a firm grip, you were ascending the few steps up to the main entrance of your condo. As you wobbled through the lobby with him on your way to the elevator, you decided it might be a good idea to introduce yourself. You’d also decided that you were going to invite him in for a drink or a coffee in appreciation of him helping you in your hour of need. And if you were honest, you wanted to try and get to know him a little.

He didn’t seem to be a homicidal maniac, after all.

In fact you got a slightly melancholic vibe off him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Josh pressed the Call button and stole a quick glance at her, thinking how beautiful she was. And how lucky he’d been to bump into her tonight, she’d certainly lifted his mood. He’d jumped at the chance to spend even a couple more minutes with her by escorting her to her door. She’d made him feel relaxed and at ease, which was surprising to him as he’d literally only just met her. He’d been so on edge recently that any relief from the anxiety was truly welcome.

The elevator arrived and he guided her inside; she leant against the side to take the weight off her ankle. With a little smile, she introduced herself and he told her his name. By that time, the elevator had zipped up to the top floor and they emerged into a large lobby area. He noticed there was only one door. She pointed at it, “That’s me,” and they headed towards it.

She fumbled her keys out of her bag and opened the door, turning to him and asking, “Would you like to come in for a coffee or a drink to say thanks for helping me out?” He hesitated, and she jumped in, “It’s okay, I understand if you’d rather not.” He looked at her, the small smile on her face, the little shrug she gave. Did he really need to complicate his life even more? But as soon as she’d finished speaking, he heard himself saying, “Yeah, I’d like that.” She limped through the doorway, “C’mon in then,” she said, over her shoulder.

He followed her into the apartment, seeing a huge open-plan area with floor-to-ceiling windows forming each end of the space. “Wow, this is nice,” he commented, “much nicer than mine!” She laughed, “Oh, I’m sure yours is just as nice.” He shook his head, wandering around and taking in the whole space, spotting a half-open door leading to a bedroom. Get your mind out of there right now, he said to himself. “No, believe me - mine is much smaller and without the huge amount of light you must get in here.” She walked over to the kitchen area, turning back to look at him, “What’s your poison?” “Uhh… do you have any beer?” he replied, shrugging off his jacket and draping it over an armchair.

She pulled out two bottles of local beer, “Is this okay for you?” “Perfect,” he nodded, so she popped the tops and handed one to him, before also grabbing a bag of frozen peas. She headed to the sofa, sitting down and holding the bag against her ankle; he’d followed her and sat down at the other end of it. “So, Josh… tell me something about yourself,” she asked in a non-interrogative way. He smiled, feeling a bit apprehensive as he always did now when asked about himself, “Ha, well, okay but I’m warning you, I’m not very interesting! I directed commercials for an ad agency for the past few years, but decided to jack it in recently. It all got to be too much, d’you know what I mean? So I’m doing some freelancing at the moment.” She nodded, and he carried on, warily, “I… uh, I’m in the middle of a divorce and I’ve got one kid, a daughter called Brooke. Another reason - the main one, actually - that I left my job, I wanted to spend more time with her. That’s about it, really. I did warn you it wasn’t very interesting.”

He looked over at her and noticed the small frown on her face and laughed, “I’ve put you off now, haven’t I? Which was it, the no job, the divorce or my kid?”

She shook her head, smiling, “None of them. I was just feeling a little sad for you. My parents divorced when I was younger so I know how difficult it can be all round.” He relaxed a little, sitting back against the sofa, “Yeah, it’s not ideal. My wife’s making it difficult for me to see Brooke.” “That’s your daughter, right?” When he nodded, she continued, “And you just said ‘my wife’ so that sounds like you haven’t yet really accepted that the divorce is going through.”

He took a swig of his beer and relaxed even more, leaning one arm along the back of the sofa. “Oh I’ve definitely accepted it, I guess it’s just habit. My “ex” wife, I should have said. The divorce will be final very soon so I’d better get used to saying that.” Another sympathetic look from her, “I’m sorry you’re going through that.” He shrugged, “There was a trigger for it but if I’m honest, it’d been on the cards for a while. Things hadn’t been good for the past couple of years.” Reaching over and putting the bag of peas on the coffee table and curling her legs underneath her, she said, “Is it too intrusive to ask what the trigger was? Tell me to mind my own business if you like!” she grinned.

He found himself grinning back, “Nah, it’s okay… I’d gone out to pick up more sweets last Halloween and uh, I stopped in for a quick drink on the way. I happened to meet an ex of mine in the bar and regrettably, I… um, well, we…” Her hand went up, “It’s okay, I get your drift! I shouldn’t have asked, sorry. I’m too nosy for my own good.” “It’s fine. I’m not proud of it. And karma’s got me good in any case. Not only the divorce but the ex is stalking me.” “Oh… really? And I take it you don’t want her to stalk you?” He laughed out loud, “No, I definitely don’t! There was a reason we split, y’know? At the time, I didn’t want to do the whole ‘settle down and get married’ thing, and that was her only goal. So I broke up with her. That makes me sound very shallow but I just really couldn’t handle it, she was pulling me over to jeweller’s windows and buying bridal magazines. We’d only been going out for a couple of months!” He paused, “In fact, again if I’m honest, I’m not sure I was even ready for all that when Emma and I got married.”

She leant back, sipping her beer, “I see. Well, as I’m asking intrusive questions tonight I may as well ask, why did you propose?” He looked away for a moment before meeting her eyes once more, “She thought she was pregnant. Turns out she wasn’t but I’d asked her and all the arrangements were underway by the time I found out.” “Was it a genuine mistake?” She was looking intently at him. He blew out a big breath. No-one had ever asked him that before. Thinking for a moment longer, he replied, “You know, I’m really not sure. I know that previously she’d asked about my exes and I’d laughingly told her about ‘Bridezilla’. So if she was being manipulative, I guess she knew I maybe wouldn’t go down the marriage path too willingly and it may need to be something drastic to get me there.” He laughed, a little bitterly.

She’d leant forward and put a hand on his arm, “Look, I don’t know your …ex.. wife at all and I shouldn’t have asked that, I’m sorry. Way too personal and insinuating things that probably never happened. Hey… changing the subject quickly, let me tell you my very uninteresting life story.” He couldn’t deny he was happy to move away from the previous topic, the turn the conversation had taken had unnerved him a little. His mind was still ticking over about it as she started speaking again and told him that she was a commissioning editor for a publishing house. She waved a hand around, “You’re possibly wondering how I can afford this place on that level of salary. Well, I couldn’t! - my extremely rich Daddy bought this place for me. And a holiday cottage on Cape Cod. And my car. He continually tries to salve his conscience and earn my forgiveness for him leaving me and Mom.”

Josh nodded slightly, “Ah okay, yes I confess I did wonder. I wouldn’t want to try and guess how much this place cost.” He gazed over at her, “And did it work?” “Did what work?” “Has he earned your forgiveness?” She laughed, shaking her head, “Ha. No, he hasn’t, to be honest.” Sipping her beer, she carried on, “All those nights of 14-year-old me listening to Mom crying herself to sleep? Me crying myself to sleep? Watching him create a new family without, it seemed, a backward glance at us?” She put her bottle down with a little bit of a bang, “So, no. Whatever he does or buys me, it’ll never make up for that.”

Josh’s heart sank. Was that how his daughter would feel about him when she grew up?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

A sober look suddenly appeared on his face and you realised you must’ve said something to upset him. And then it dawned on you that he must be thinking about his own situation. “Oh no! I’ve put my foot in it again!” you said, guiltily, “Look, I have forgiven him mostly. Things like that happen and always have, haven’t they? - it’s just life. There is always a tiny kernel of hurt that lives inside me and that’ll never go. But I love my Dad and that’ll never change either. So your daughter - I guess you’re thinking of her - will feel the same, I’m sure.”

He sighed, “I hope so. It’s difficult to see her right now. Emma’s making it awkward for me, a punishment I guess. Not that I don’t deserve it - I cheated on her after all - but she shouldn’t use access to Brooke against me.” You agreed, continuing, “But that’s what generally happens, Josh. It’s the one really effective weapon that the ex-partner has in their possession. My mother used the same tactic,” you shrugged. “I’m doing my best to spend time with Brooke,” he mused, “but like I said, it’s difficult. And I’m sure it’s being made out to be my fault. I used to be a bit of a workaholic.”

The conversation continued on a different tack, more work-related and how it could be difficult to get a healthy life/work balance. He was totally relaxed on your sofa now, sprawled out with his long legs in front of him. You were in the middle of telling him about a yoga retreat you’d considered going on up in Cape Cod when you noticed his head had dropped onto his chest and his eyes were closed.

Oh. He’s fallen asleep, you thought, what do I do? Wake him? But something told you he hadn’t been sleeping that well lately, he’d more or less admitted it during your conversation. So you got up and went through to your guest room, taking a blanket and a pillow from the bed. Returning to the living area, you lifted his ankles and swung his legs onto the sofa, hearing him mutter something under his breath but he didn’t wake. Popping the pillow under his head and covering him with the blanket, you headed to your bedroom and went to bed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Josh jolted awake, hearing his phone ringing and sitting up groggily. Where….? He looked around and at the blanket covering him. Ah okay… shit, he must’ve fallen asleep on her sofa! How embarrassing. He got up and headed to his jacket as he’d transferred his phone to its pocket when he’d got here. It stopped ringing just as he reached for it, and he pulled it out of the pocket to see a Missed Call notification from Emma. Shit!!!!

It was just after 9 and he wondered why she was calling him so early. He hit redial, and she picked it up on the second ring. “Where are you, Josh?!” she snapped as a greeting, “You’re supposed to be taking Brooke to the mall to get some roller skates, remember? She’s been ready for the last half hour, waiting for you! Did you forget?!” “No!” he snapped back, “I took a sleeping pill and I’ve slept in. I’ll be there as soon as I possibly can, okay?” He felt slightly guilty at lying to her but she was always sniping at him, and while he had temporarily forgotten about the mall trip, he could also have sworn that it was supposed to be happening the next day, not today. Emma had done that to him before, telling him he’d got the day wrong when he knew he had not.

And he certainly couldn’t tell her what had really happened. She’d never believe that it was an innocent situation. And sadly that was definitely the case, he thought with a rueful smile. He still had his boots on, never mind all his clothes. He thought fleetingly about how nice it would’ve been to wake up next to his new acquaintance this morning. He tried to ignore the thrill that ran through him as his morning wood chafed against his jeans. Emma’s voice pulled him abruptly out of his fantasy world.

She huffed, “Aww, not sleeping well, Josh? That’s what having a guilty conscience does to you.” He sighed, “Look, Em, let’s not do this okay? I’ll be over to pick up Brooke in… maybe 30 minutes.” “Alright,” she replied, “just make sure you are.”

Josh put his phone in his jeans pocket and picked up his jacket, shrugging into it and wondering what the best way would be to take his leave. If she was still in bed, he didn’t think it’d be appropriate for him to disturb her in her bedroom, bit too intrusive for their short acquaintance. Then he heard the faint sound of a shower running,

Damn! He could’ve done with using the bathroom, but thankfully it would only take him five minutes to jog round to his own condo. Just have to hold on!

Yeah, he’d leave a note for her.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Stepping out of the shower, you wondered if Josh was still sleeping. No work today, and the thought of sharing breakfast with him was a pleasant one. You were trying to be casual when thinking of him but you liked this guy. Really liked him, even with all his baggage. I mean, who didn’t have some of that? you thought, mentally shrugging.

Tying your robe, you took a quick look into the living area. Empty.

Your heart sank with disappointment. Was he one of those, then? The ‘leave in the morning without a word’ types? Obviously you hadn’t slept together, but still… you thought you’d felt a connection between the two of you.

You headed for your coffee machine, noticing a small piece of paper lying on your kitchen island as you made your way over. Swiftly you scooped it up.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Good morning - sorry for falling asleep on your sofa, what an interesting conversational partner I am, huh! I usually do better, I promise. Haven’t been sleeping too well lately and I got so relaxed I guess I just dozed right off. And sorry I’ve had to leave in a rush, I’m taking my daughter to the mall and am running late - another black mark against me! I’ll get straight to the point, I’d like to see you again. Here’s my number, I’ll let you contact me if you’re interested in meeting up for a proper date. I’m hoping you are!

Josh

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You filled the water jug and slotted it into the coffee machine, conscious that you had a huge smile on your face the whole time.

Okay, okay, you counselled yourself, this guy could turn out to be problematic. Cheated on his wife, in the middle of a divorce, could get pulled into a custody battle. You knew only too well how messy all that could get.

But maybe that’s exactly why you felt a distinct pull towards him.

YOLO and all that kind of stuff. You were going to give this a go, you decided. Heading into it with your eyes wide open and you thought you knew what to expect. It would either work, or he’d be too involved with his marital situation and cut you loose.

Either way, you were in.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

And when the harbourmaster comes

To switch off the lights (switch off the lights)

And the waiting rooms are empty

Of everyone

Does anyone

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

Does anyone

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««