#I wonder if there are any other QZ's that they still control by the end of TLOU2

[unreliablesnake]

Wounded animals

Pairing(s): It's supposed to be a Joel Miller x reader piece, but Tommy took control when I wrote it so it might be a Tommy Miller x reader story. Idk.

Note: This is like a pilot chapter. I'm more of a short chapters kind of girl because–to quote Neil Ellice–I have the attention span of a bag of squirrels.

Warning: afab!reader

It had been a very long shift so far and you still didn't see the end of it. Since the night seemed to be relatively quiet, you lied down on the bottom bunk bed in the on-call room, hoping you could catch some sleep.

You had no idea how much time had passed, but you were woken up by someone coming in and talking to you, saying words you couldn't quite understand just yet. Your eyes slowly opened and you found a man standing there, suddenly falling silent as he watched you.

"I can't believe it," he muttered under his breath as he walked inside and closed the door behind him. "It's really you."

He knew you, he was familiar, but the pieces of the puzzle simply didn't click in your head after spending so much time awake. But then you noticed a scar on his forearm, right below his elbow, that jump-started your memory. "Tommy!" you squealed as you stood up and rushed over to hug him.

His arms sneaked around your waist as he embraced you, keeping you in a bear hug you couldn't escape from. "We thought no one got out of the hospital alive, we thought you died," he said, chin resting on top of your head.

With a quiet chuckle, you leaned back a little to look up at him. "The military came in and took every staff member somewhere safe. They put us in quarantine to see if we were infected, but once we were proven to be clear, they took us to different clinics to help whoever got injured in that mess," you explained.

"I'm so happy to see you," he said, murmuring into your hair before reluctantly letting you go as he stepped away from you.

"What about Joel and Sarah? Do you know anything about them?"

"Sarah was killed by a soldier right at the start, we couldn't save her," he began to tell you, sitting down on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his thighs. "Joel… Something broke in him that night, he's… not the same."

Not the same. Tommy's words echoed in your mind, making you wonder what had happened to him. Losing his daughter and finding himself in a strange new world probably had its toll on him, but at the same time his younger brother seemed perfectly fine. How bad could that be?

"Is he here in the QZ?" you asked quietly.

Tommy nodded. "He's right here, on this floor. I came in here because he finally woke up and it would be great if someone could take a look at him. The doctor who helped him went home apparently," he told you with a smile.

You sat down next to him, your eyes fixed on the door as you thought about this. Twelve years. It had been twelve years since the world went crazy. Since you had to leave everything behind. Since you were separated from Joel. Since you last felt love.

Now? Now you weren't sure you could look Joel in the eye. Your heart had been empty lately. It was much easier to deal with your job in this new world if you didn't have any feelings for others. No friends. No lovers. No family. Nothing. You were just an empty shell compared to your old self.

Suddenly you felt Tommy take your hand in his, fingers absentmindedly tangling with yours as he watched you. Tilting your head to the side, you gave him a questioning look. Something was wrong, you could feel it, but you also didn't want to force him to tell you what bothered him.

Then he stood up and pulled you up with him, his hand not letting go of yours, even when you left the room. As he led you to the room Joel was in, you wondered what you should say to him. What do you say to your ex-finacé you hadn't seen in over a decade?

"It's gonna be alright," Tommy told you when he stopped in front of a door. You gave him a doubtful look, and he leaned down to kiss the top of your head in return. "Just don't expect the old Joel, okay?" You nodded obediently. "Good. Let's go."

Your heart was beating in your throat, the world around you slowing down as he opened the door and stepped inside. You followed him like a lapdog, your eyes fixed on your shoes as you walked. It was hard to look up, to look at Joel again after all those years.

"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me," you heard Joel say bitterly.

That's when you finally looked up, facing the man with a sad look in your eyes. He didn't sound like the old Joel. Your Joel. This man was a stranger, with no softness in his brown eyes.

"I found her sleeping in a room," Tommy said with a short laugh, probably to lighten the mood. "After all these years it turns out she survived."

"I heard what happened to Sarah. I'm so–"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Joel growled like a rabid dog.

You took a step back at the same time you felt Tommy's hand on the small of your back. When you looked up at him, he only shook his head with a sad smile. Don't ask, don't object, just stay calm. You could certainly do that.

With a sigh, you finally pulled yourself together and walked closer to the bed. "Can I take a look at your wound?" you asked cautiously. You were a doctor, it was your job to help him.

But Joel had a different idea. "I want another doctor," he snarled.

This took you off guard, and you soon felt Tommy put a hand on your waist to pull you behind him. "Joel, calm down, she just wants to help. She's a doctor in case you forgot, and you're a patient. Let her help," he tried.

"Get out. Both of you."

He didn't have to say twice, you shook your head and turned around to leave the room as he asked. Once outside, you leaned your back against the wall and started to cry silently, his words replaying in your head over and over again, each time hurting you more than before. Tommy had been right, this wasn't the Joel you knew so well.

"Hey, hey, don't cry, it's not worth the tears," Tommy said when he showed up in front of you, raising his hand to wipe your tears away. "He's been like that for a long time, don't take it personally. I think you remind him of his old life, of Sarah, and it's too much for him. Also, he's like a wounded animal now, attacking anyone who goes near him."

You didn't object when he pulled you into a hug, his hand rubbing along your spine to soothe you. Soon you stopped crying, your brain focusing on him instead, listening to the mixture of the steady rhythm of his breathing and the way his heart pounded against his chest.

Maybe this was for the better. If he really had changed this much over the years, it would probably be for the best if you didn't talk to him. He was in the past, it would be better to keep nothing more but the good memories.

Your hands instinctively moved to your necklace and the ring you had on it. He gave you this engagement ring before the military took you away, and you weren't about to let it go until now. But today you realized the Joel you remembered was nothing more but a ghost that kept haunting you.

So you took it off and placed it into Tommy's hand. "Could you give it back to him?" you asked.

He took a look at the piece of jewelry and you saw a glint in his eyes that you didn't really understand at the time. But he eventually flashed a smile at you and nodded. "Sure. When will your shift end?"

You let out a long sigh as you thought about whether or not you wanted to think about hanging out with him. Because that's what he wanted to ask, you could feel it. In the end you looked at your watch and let out a thoughtful hum.

"I still have five and a half hours left, and then I'm gonna hit the bed at home," you replied.

Tommy suddenly leaned over to place a kiss on your forehead. "Okay, sleep is important, especially in your line of work," he began. "I know where to find you now, so we'll talk some other time then."

Apparently he wasn't about to give up so you gave in. After nodding, you said goodbye and left to return to the on-call room, hopefully catching some sleep.

Not like you could sleep with Joel on your mind.

••••••

Taglist (although I won't do this in the future - hit the get notifications button and you'll know when I post something): @kyuupidwrites

[hypnotisedfireflies]

I wondered if in the Driftverse had either Sarah or Nico (Mike can stay dead) survived, would Joel and Tess connect. From your recent posts I guess yes in the case of Sarah. But, if it had been Nico who survived would Joel want to get involved with a woman with a toddler?

I’m starting to think that you’re all out to get me. 

I’m sleep deprived but I don’t think this paranoia is misplaced??  You are all out to get me with your prompts and your plot bunnies and asks that make things happen in my brain that I can't control and then want to write about. 

The short answer is Joel would get involved with Tess probably a lot earlier (not that they wasted much time) had kids been involved. I'm thinking of this through the lens that Sarah also lives, because let's go full happy here.

I'll bullet point how Drifters might have gone had Nico and Sarah survived:

(Also can I point out the Nico Servopoulos – Nico Parker thing was a coincidence.  I called the kid Nick which I was then like, that’s short for Nicholas, that’s TOO many S’s and so changed it to be short for Nico and then later clicked with the Nico Parker connection.  Funny how these things work out.  ANYWAY).

Tommy, Joel and Sarah eventually come to the Lake Michigan camp – the brothers want to get off the road for Sarah’s sake.  They’re not as hardcore do-it-alone when they’ve got her to protect.  The priority is just finding somewhere safe to be. 

Tommy and Tess don’t meet up as early contacts and the windmill stuff never happens, because Tess isn’t trading.  She’s grounded at the Lake Michigan camp with Nico.

They start to interact with Tess through Sarah.  Tess is struggling.  She had started to find her rhythm with Nico before the Outbreak happened, but that’s all gone out the window. 

I kind of think having Nico is almost an Achilles Heel for Tess rather than a serious motivator as it is for Joel.  Like, she’s already struggled so much to function as a mother and now she has all these other issues to contend with.  When it’s just Tess, she can be as selfish as she needs to be.  But the pressure of looking after someone who she already feels like she’s failing would be such a stressful, frightening situation for her. 

And because she doesn’t trust anyone, she’s not really getting any help and she’s just kind of heading toward some kind of serious crash.

There’s no other kids at the Lake and Sarah, who is in that twilight between childhood and adulthood, starts spending time with Nico and Tess.  Sarah has never been around little kids so she’s not like a star babysitter or anything, but it gives her something to do - and someone to talk to who isn’t an adult who talks over her head and makes decisions for her all the time. 

Joel meets Tess and can tell right away that she’s not coping.  He makes some gentle suggestions to which she is not amenable, but Sarah’s in earshot so she reserves her right to tell him what he can do with his advice. 

Joel would start coming by, helping out.  They’d take Nico sometimes so Tess can just rest.  And he’s just naturally good with kids, right?  Daddering just comes easily to him.

They probably end up in the Chicago QZ with Ash’s group.  They’re not going to risk travelling far with kids.

Thanks for the ask, anon! It’s interesting exploring the Coulda Beens.

And then ... Idk, maybe they never get to Boston.

Or maybe they get to the Appalachian Mountains? There are a few prompts floating around to this effect ...

They'd become a tight family unit. Nico's going to call Joel Dad and Joel would see him as his kid. I've never thought Ellie would call Tess Mum, but maybe Sarah would.

Oh and Tommy probably doesn't leave. He wants to, but Sarah won't let him. 🥺

If Sarah wasn't alive, Joel would still become involved with Tess and provide that support, but it would take longer. She'd get a lot closer to that crash.

[daddy-dins-girl]

Safe for Tonight (Chapter 1)

Part 2 of the Series "Joel & Tess: Firsts" (can be read as a stand-alone without part 1, all you need to know for part 1 is that it was the first time Joel and Tess hooked up. This work takes place a few months later). If you'd like to read part 1 of the series, link is below :)

Masterlist

AO3 link A03 series link

Series Part 1: "When You Break"

Chapter 2

Joel Miller x Tess

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO) Word Count: 3.7k Rating: E (for chapter 2 only)

Summary: In which Frank convinces Tess for her and Joel to spend the night during their first visit to Lincoln. Tess attempts to capitalize on the fact that she and Joel are safe for once, no immediate threats lingering around every corner and just maybe she can persuade him to relax. When the evening nears its end and they find themselves alone in Bill's spare bedroom, Tess begins to wonder just what else she might persuade Joel into.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Alcohol consumption. Swearing. Mentioned sex. Chapter 2 will have further warnings. Chap 1 is pretty mild.

Notes: Take place pre-series. Sometime after Tommy left them to join the Fireflies but before Tess has moved in with Joel. Also, it's my headcanon that the QZ gives out birth control to, you guessed it, control the population. So my Tess in this universe will not be having any pregnancy scares ;).

...

The moment they passed the threshold of the front door and stepped inside Frank immediately smacked Tess’s arm playfully, yet sharp enough to sting.

“Ow! What was that for?” Tess asked with a huff, rubbing a hand up and down her upper arm.

“You didn’t tell me Joel was drop dead gorgeous!” Frank said excitedly, his grin from ear to ear. “You’ve been holdin’ out on me!”

Tess side eyed him for a long moment before she burst into a fit of laughter and Frank quickly followed suit, the two of them reaching to hold onto each other as they nearly fell over from laughter. The wine that had been freely flowing over dinner likely had something to do with how silly the whole situation seemed to her. Tess felt like a teenage girl in high school all of a sudden, gossiping over the cute boy in their class and she hadn’t remembered when she’d laughed so hard that her stomach hurt.

“A little warning next time before you bring an Adonis over to a couple of old gay dudes house, we’re liable to have a heart attack and keel over you know” Frank admonished playfully once they’d caught their breaths.

“Shut up” Tess replied giggling, lightly shoving at his shoulder.

“Ok but seriously…” Frank began before raising an eyebrow at her suggestively. “Nice pull Tess”

“Well, thanks but he ain’t exactly mine” Tess shrugged and Frank’s face fell slightly.

“Oh, I mean, I don’t know the way you always talked about the two of you I guess I just kinda thought…” He trailed off, not finishing his thought.

“We’re partners, you know, but Joel is… well, Joel’s… Joel.”

“Right, well, glad we cleared that up. ‘Cause I’d hate for you to be ambiguous” Frank deadpanned and Tess rolled her eyes.

“You seriously never hit that?” Frank questioned again, pointing in the general direction behind them where Joel and Bill were still outside finishing eating their dinner. “Two gorgeous single people spending everyday together, and you’re not fucking? I knew I never understood straight people” he finished his thought with a shake of his head.

Tess’s eyes glanced away and her non-response was all Frank needed before he let out a loud gasp.

“I knew it!” He shouted triumphantly and it was Tess’s turn to smack Frank.

“Hey, keep it down” Tess said in a hushed whisper, looking over to the closed door. She was pretty certain neither of the two men outside could hear them, but she wasn’t about to chance it either.

“Ok, ok. I wanna hear the whole story” Frank said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. He grabbed Tess by the hand and all but dragged her into the living room and yanked her down to sit next to him on the couch. “Come on, spill!”

“Really Frank, ain’t much to tell” Tess said, the disappointment evident in her tone. “Couple months ago we literally almost died, got back to his apartment and fucked our brains out. Once. And… that’s it, end of story. Business as usual ever since”

Frank just stared at her as if she had two heads.

“Why?” he finally asked, his tone less playful now and more confused.

“Because, I don’t know, Joel is…” Tess shook her head, the thought unfinished.

“Joel is Joel. Right, we covered that already” Frank said teasingly and a small smirk pulled at the corner of Tess’s mouth but she nudged him in the side all the same.

“He doesn’t… feel that way about me” Tess shrugged.

“Feel what way?” Frank asked, genuinely interested, his head tilted slightly waiting for her reply.

“I don’t know just… Joel is never gonna be like a boyfriend, or whatever”

“But you want him to be” Frank quickly interjected and Tess’s gaze snapped to his, surprised how quickly Frank seemed to have figured her out.

“I’m not twelve Frank, I don’t need a boyfriend” Tess argued, feigning nonchalance.

“A partner then” Frank said simply in reply. “And I don’t mean a business partner”

“Yeah well, Joel’s not ever gonna be that either. The first one, I mean” Tess said, her gaze falling to the space between them on the couch where her hand started fidgeting with a loose thread in the fabric.

“He’s said that to you?” Frank asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Didn’t have to” Tess just shrugged. ”It’s complicated. He’s complicated” she amended.

“Ok so you have mind blowing sex and then the next day it’s just what ‘hey let’s divvy up the ration cards from last week's score’?” Frank asked, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. Tess couldn’t blame him, she hadn’t exactly figured it out either.

“Look Frank I don’t know what to tell you, we were just… blowin’ off steam” Tess said with a shrug, hoping he’d buy it and leave it at that.

“Tess I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I feel like we’ve become friends and I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt”

“Joel would never hurt me,” Tess said immediately. Vehemently.

“Well, maybe not intentionally,” Frank replied softly, placing a hand on her arm.

"Look it's not like I'm trying to get married and run off into the sunset" Tess said, shaking her head as she looked away. "But you know, a warm body next to you at night, somebody to wake up to, it ain't exactly the worst thing"

"Yeah" Frank agreed softly. He wasn't sure what else to say. He hadn't known Tess all that long, they'd been communicating over the radio for a while but this was their first time meeting in person. He did genuinely care for her though and he wanted her to be happy. He didn't love how happiness for her might mean not being completely fulfilled because she wanted things Joel couldn't give her but she'd settle for what he could. Though he supposed they all did that in some way. He and Bill had compromised themselves in a lot of ways and had both settled for things that in another life (before) they may not have. He was happy though. What Bill was able and willing to give him made Frank happy, so he supposed maybe that's what happiness would look like for Tess too.

A long silence settled over them until finally Frank spoke again.

“Look maybe… He does want something and he just doesn’t know how to say it or ask for it. Have you tried? Since, you know…”

“No” Tess shook her head.

“Stay here tonight” Frank said suddenly, like a lightbulb had just gone off inside his head and Tess stared at him quizzically.

“What?”

“I mean, it’s already getting kinda late, you guys have been drinking, don’t worry I’ll make a good case to convince both Bill and Joel it’s the best idea. And you guys can spend the night here where it’s safe and quiet and you can just talk and… well, you know, anything else you might want to do” Frank finished suggestively and Tess’s eyes widened at his suggestion.

“In your house, are you crazy?” Tess huffed, shaking her head.

“Oh come on, we’re all adults. Not to mention our bedroom is on the ground floor at the back of the house, you two would be in the guest room at the top floor at the front of the house so we’re not gonna hear anything anyway”

“Frank” Tess sighed, exasperated.

“Just… you know, try it. Make a pass, see what happens. Whether you want him to be your boyfriend or just help you forget about your problems for one more night, either way you’ll never get either until you put yourself out there it sounds like”

“Come on,” Frank began again suddenly, standing up from the couch and clapping his hands together once. “Let’s go tell the boys you two are staying here tonight. Bill is going to shit a brick, it’ll be hilarious, you’ll want a front row seat”

Tess rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but be amused by Frank. Agreeing, she stood up and followed him out of the house.

…

It was indeed hilarious to watch their reactions, particularly Bill’s. If he was a cartoon character, there would have been steam billowing out both his ears for certain. Joel had been much more subdued, though just as steadfastly against the idea as Bill. He quietly tugged Tess aside by the elbow and in a harsh whisper told her all the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea but she’d eventually managed to convince him otherwise.

Bill and Joel had exchanged looks, silently agreeing they both disagreed with the scenario but their respective partners had apparently decided for them and left no room for argument and so barely an hour later Joel and Tess found themselves being shown to the upstairs guest room by an overly gracious Frank and a quietly furious Bill.

“And towels and robes in the bathroom and extra blankets in the hall closet, if you need ‘em” Frank said with an easy smile as he finished giving them the tour of the guest bedroom and ensuite.

“Bill and I are on the main floor and I’d say holler if you need us but… we’d never hear it” Frank said with a dismissive wave of his hand and knowing glance at Tess to which she just rolled her eyes at, facing away from Joel so that he was otherwise oblivious to Frank’s innuendo. “So if you do need something, just come down to our room and let us know” he finished, only for Bill to immediately pipe up.

“Or you could wait until morning and not wake anybody up in the middle of the night” he said grouchily.

“We’ll be fine,” Joel said with finality, still less than impressed that Tess had somehow roped him into this. It was probably the third bottle of wine that softened him enough to eventually agree with her.

“Right well… goodnight then” Frank said with a beaming smile before lightly shoving Bill out of the room.

“Good night, thanks again!” Tess called out after them as the door closed, sealing her and Joel inside alone.

She turned to face Joel, his back stiff, shoulders squared and she playfully rolled her eyes at him.

“You need to relax Texas” she said sweetly, walking up to him to place a hand on each of his shoulders and jostled him slightly in an attempt to loosen his stance.

“Tell you what,” she began again a moment later, looking over to the bathroom that had its door wide open. “I haven’t had a hot bath in at least a decade and I’m bettin’ it’s about the same for you… Why don’t you, y’know… join me for one” She suggested simply, shrugging one shoulder.

“A bath?” Joel questioned, one eyebrow cocked as if she’d just said the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

“Joel, we’re safe here. For once in our goddamn lives there is no immediate threat to our safety. Can’t you just… let yourself go, for one night?”

Joel sighed, hung his head and placed his hands on his hips.

“Why don’t you go on,” Joel gestured his head towards the bathroom. “I cleaned up before dinner anyway and I’d rather shower in the morning ‘fore we head out for the day”

Tess deflated slightly, a frown crossing her features. “You sure?” she tried one last time.

“Yeah. Hell, if I try and crawl into a tub these old bones are liable never to make it back out again” he attempted jokingly but Tess only felt disappointment, though trying her best not to let it show.

“Okay” she sighed, turning away and going into the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind her.

Joel watched her disappear from view behind the white wooden door and hung his head, seemingly frozen to his spot on the floor. He felt a bit like a jackass. She was trying to be nice to him. Sweet, even, and he refused to let his guard down, ever stubborn as always.

Hell he’d just turned down a chance to get naked with Tess because he can’t turn off his survival instincts for even one night, apparently. Not that she had really implied anything with her offer to allow him to join her but surely she wasn’t opposed to the idea either otherwise she wouldn’t have asked… Right?

Joel’s thoughts tumbled around his brain that was already really only working at about half capacity given the amount of alcohol flowing through his bloodstream. He was already beating himself up over getting into this state in the first place. Not that he was drunk, mind you, but buzzed certainly. Once Bill had put the gun away that had been subtly trained on Joel for most of the afternoon Joel did finally feel himself starting to ease and the wine continued to flow as their evening progressed. He listened to Tess and Frank laugh and laugh as they chatted like they were the oldest of friends and a smile tugged at his lips. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d heard Tess laugh like that. He’s not even sure he ever had.

He and Bill mostly talked shop. They talked of guns and traps and the resources Bill had seemed to maintain despite the state of the world. It was impressive, Joel had to admit. And for that, Bill had his respect and by the end of the night, he felt that maybe he (albeit begrudgingly) had Bill’s as well.

His mind wandered to Tess again, as he glanced over to the still closed bathroom door. The water had long since been turned off and she was still soaking in the tub, he could tell by the occasional slosh of water he could hear when she moved. He bit his lip, cursing his own stubbornness to not accept her offer. She was right, they were safe here, for the night at least. She was happy and free and he had to try and stomp all over her good mood. Just because he was miserable all the time didn’t mean he needed to drag her down with him but he had done exactly that and he immediately felt guilty for it.

He wandered around the room for a couple minutes, getting himself ready for bed and ultimately deciding on a way to make it up to her. Hoping against hope that she would still want him to.

…

Once her fingers had started to prune and the water had gone from near scalding to a tepid lukewarm, Tess reluctantly pulled herself out of the bathtub. It had been so nice to close her eyes, soak in the hot water and just pretend nothing outside of her small serene environment inside the bathroom existed. It had taken her some time at first to get her mind to drift from Joel, but she had managed.

Frank certainly couldn’t tell her now that she hadn’t tried. She let herself be vulnerable and had asked him to join her and he had shot her down without a second of hesitation. She shouldn’t have been all that surprised but regardless it had hurt, being rejected by him. She’d been so careful over the past several months since their first (and only) indiscretion to not act differently around him, not wanting to scare him away. Joel was the only person she could count on and until she met Frank, her only friend. She wouldn’t risk losing him over the feelings she had for him that he didn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t worth it.

She knew, in the way he treated her, cared for her, protected her, that he did love her as much as he was capable of, it just wasn’t the same way she loved him. But she could be OK with that, she had decided long ago. Still, she had a physical desire for him that she’d hoped he shared, even if their relationship otherwise was likely to remain unchanged. Tonight however had solidified to her that the fleeting night of passion they’d had all those months ago was apparently a one time thing and she would have to just get over it. It was at that moment she wished she could be more like Joel; just closed off to everyone and everything. Don’t get attached and you can’t get hurt.

For Tess, it was too late.

As she finished drying off Tess immediately cursed herself when she realized she didn’t bring any clean clothes into the bathroom with her. All she had was the clothes she had been wearing all day, had been traveling in, and after spending the last half hour getting clean there was just no way in hell she was putting any of that on again. She was thankful at least for the fluffy white robe that hung on the back of the door and put it on, tying the sash around her waist before tossing her damp towel into a small hamper that sat against the wall opposite the sink.

Heaving a heavy sigh and inwardly hoping that Joel would already be fast asleep so she didn’t have to be running around their shared room in only a bathrobe trying to find something to wear, she pushed open the door to reveal Joel across the room from her, sitting upright in the bed and staring right at her.

Well, shit.

“Oh, hey, thought you would’ve been asleep already” she tried for indifference, hoping he didn’t sense her nervousness. There was a small lamp on the bedside table beside him that illuminated him in a warm light in the otherwise darkened bedroom but it certainly wasn’t dark enough that he couldn’t see her in her bathrobe. She willed herself to relax as she instantly felt herself tense up again.

“Was waiting up for you” he answered simply and she gave him a questioning glance but otherwise said nothing.

“C’mere” he said after a few long seconds stretched between them, gesturing with a nod of his head for her to come over to him.

Tess bit her lip and regarded him carefully from where she still stood just barely outside the bathroom.

“What are you upto Texas?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him as she slowly made her way toward his side of the bed he was laying in. He was lying on top of the bedspread, back up against the headboard with a pillow behind him and was wearing black sweatpants with no shirt and damn he looked good.

Snap out of it Tess! she chided herself.

She came to stand next to him at the side of the bed, still unsure what exactly he had summoned her over to him for when he moved his leg closest to her up so it was bent at his knee and gestured with his hand for her to sit down. She eyed him curiously for a long moment before she finally sat in the spot where his leg had been, still unsure just what in the hell was going on.

The moment she sat down she felt his arm go around her waist and tug her towards him, forcing her legs up onto the bed and she let out a gasp of surprise until her back hit the hard wall of his chest. Her legs were now laying on the bed between his and he lowered his raised one back down.

“Joel, what-” She didn’t finish her sentence before she felt strong hands on her shoulders, over top of the plush material of her bathrobe and as they started massaging, an involuntary moan escaped her mouth despite herself.

“Just helping you relax” he said easily and she huffed a laugh in return.

“I said you had to relax! Not me. I just got out of the bath”

“Then why do you feel so tense?” He asked and she winced. She had felt great, up until 2 minutes ago when she walked into the room and found him half naked not asleep and herself fully naked under her robe, internally screaming for an escape. She felt so embarrassed about, in her mind, practically throwing herself at him earlier and him rebuffing, she just wanted to crawl under the covers and forget the night ever happened.

Damn Frank for putting ideas in her head.

“I’m sorry” he said eventually in a low voice, his breath ghosting over the back of her neck as he continued to work his hands into her.

“Sorry for what?”

“For being… well, me” He said simply and she could feel him shrug behind her.

“I know I can be a miserable old bastard” He decided to continue. “You were doing something nice, for us, and I just can’t help but be a damn stick in the mud and ruin your night”

Tess sighed, hating that he felt guilty. “You didn’t ruin anything” she tried, smacking lightly at his leg next to hers.

“I did” he said firmly. “So, let me make it up to you. Please?” His hands stopped their movements then but remained on her shoulders, apparently awaiting her go-ahead.

Well, how could she refuse?

“Get to work then, you miserable old bastard” she said teasingly, throwing his own words back at him and he chuckled from behind her before his strong hands began kneading into the deep tissue of her shoulders again. Tess rolled her neck slightly and hummed her approval. She didn’t know what had come over Joel, but she wasn’t about to question it either as his hands worked their magic over her. Her only regret now was the thick amount of terry cloth that separated his hands from her bare flesh that suddenly felt warm at the idea of his hands potentially slipping underneath the material to touch her as she longed for him to.

Luckily for Tess, she didn’t have to wait long for Joel to do just that.

Next Chapter

[ovaryacted]

HEADRUSH

PAIRING: QZ! Joel Miller x fem! reader || WC: 1.2k

SYNOPSIS: As your mind goes into overdrive from the burden of living through the apocalypse, you go to the one person who is willing to help you out.

CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. SMUT. Ambiguous age gap (Joel is 56, Reader is 21+). Rough throat fucking. Oral (m receiving). Dirty talk. Face slapping. Degradation. Hints of coercion & manipulation. Slight dub-con. Joel is mean in this one. Mentions of sex work/sex in exchange for drugs. Bad coping mechanisms during the apocalypse. Takes place in the Boston QZ.

A/N: I wrote this at 4 am when I was upset and fell asleep right after and don’t remember writing it so yeah. Had to get this thought out, it is what it is. Not beta'd, gotta stay real. (Reupload because my tags don't want to work, rip.)

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3

Life in Boston was bleak. You weren’t sure if shoveling dead bodies and exchanging rations for drugs would fall under the umbrella of what you’d consider a lifestyle, but you didn’t have any other option.

There were only so many things you could do without FEDRA riding your ass to numb the pain of your existence. Sometimes, the reality of the world around you, what was left of it, messed you up in more ways than one. The alcohol you snagged did little to cure your torment, and the drugs you’d have to steal or fuck for gave you a temporary high from your crumbling resolve.

No matter what you did, your head was still constantly full of thoughts you couldn’t control, nightmares replaying the death of your loved ones, watching clickers tear their limbs apart in front of you. It reached a point where you needed something else to quiet that nagging voice of guilt, even for a second.

That’s why when you knock on Joel Miller’s apartment door late at night, the knowing look on his face doesn’t surprise you.

“I don’t want to think anymore.”

The words slipped out of you without restraint, and he pitied you, allowing you to enter his apartment and closing the door behind him with a click of the lock.

You’ve been here more times than you could count, and this cycle of self-sabotage didn’t seem to end any time soon. Your sense of awareness was strong enough to know you shouldn’t be here, but the broad man in front of you was the only one who had a proper solution to your overthinking problem.

A man with weathered hands and broken morals was all you needed to remind you of your place in this world and that sometimes, it’s better not to think at all.

“That’s it. Open wide for me.” Joel groaned, his hips thrusting up into your face in harsh strokes.

His hands planted themselves in the back of your head, the heavy weight of his palm keeping you grounded with every push of his hips. Your mouth was too occupied being used as Joel’s personal sex toy, tongue running down the length of him with every sharp drive he gave you. Your jaw grew sore trying to make room for his cock, the audible gagging noise that filled the dim-lit room a much better alternative to gunfire and uneasy clicking. No matter how many times he’s trained you to take him, you still struggle to relax when he uses you like this over and over again.

He didn’t care anyway. You were going to take him whether you wanted to or not. 

“Wondered where you learned to suck dick like this darlin’. This is what you have to do to get your drugs, huh? Poor thing.”

With force, Joel pinned you down against his hips, your nose nestled into the coarse hair of his pelvis and taking in his natural musk. His scent filled your senses and overwhelmed you while the tip of his cock settled deep in the back of your throat. You couldn’t breathe, sputtering around him and digging your blunt nails into the denim that covered his thighs before he pulled you away by the strands of your hair.

A line of spit separated the distance between your swollen lips and the tip of his length, drool staining your chin and slowly dripping to the floor. Glossed over eyes met his darkened ones, quickly regulating your breathing and swallowing as much air as possible.

“Cockdrunk whore can’t even talk. Too busy gettin’ your mouth fucked to say a word. That right?” Joel muttered with a twisted grin, roughly clutching your skull and shoving you back down.

Your mind turned to static with every second your throat constricted around him. Any thoughts you had taking up space in your head melted out of your ears; the bullshit with FEDRA, with Boston, with the apocalypse was all long gone. The only thing you cared about or wanted was to be used the way you deserved.

An aggressive yank later, you engulfed a breath of oxygen for a second time, eyes lining with tears from your esophagus tightening with every inhale. Your head lifted upwards at an angle for a moment before Joel’s hand struck you across the cheek, waking you up from the headrush of your daze.

“I asked you somethin’. Answer me.” You don’t remember the question, but his words started registering in your mind, realizing he was speaking to you directly.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” He smacked your face again, harder than the first time and enough for the heat of the impact to warm your skin. Joel knew your limits even if you didn’t care for them, and this time was no different.

“Yes, sir.” You croaked as you responded to Joel, throat raw and tender from his prior treatment.

“Atta girl, your mind still works for somethin’.”

The mixture of praise and degradation was enough to make your pussy throb from his gruff words. You didn’t mind, you asked for this, needed this, damn near begged for it.

Joel tugged you forward once more, and you accepted his cock back into your mouth with a welcoming hum. You focused on breathing through your nose and grasping the fabric of his jeans, his clothes keeping the rest of his body out of reach. His balls collided with your chin and tears streaked down your cheeks, saliva smearing your face and coating his groin.

“Don’t gotta think no more. You keep that mouth open, that’s all you’re supposed to do.”

You let Joel fuck your face until he grunted and spilled down your throat, giving you every last drop of his spend and holding you down until you choked. By the time it was over, your head was empty, your eyes were bloodshot, and your voice was lost. The wooden floor underneath you bit into the skin of your knees, leaving indents as a reminder of another impulsive decision.

Heaving on the floor, you watched as Joel tucked himself back into his jeans and walked up to a cabinet in his kitchen, setting a bottle of pills on the counter. Payment you thought for a job well done, it was as good as you were going to get.

“If you want a two-month supply, you’ll let me fuck somethin’ else. If not, the door’s that way.”

Joel was generous enough to give you a choice, it was the least he could do. You should leave and never turn back, quit whatever this was with Joel, and find something better to do to occupy your time. You knew you deserved more than dealing with this so frequently.

Yet, you didn’t move a muscle, looking toward Joel in silence, your hazy eyes luring him back to where you kneeled on the ground. He dragged you to your feet and brought you to the edge of his bed, jerking on the material of your pants before tossing it to the ground. His scarred hands pawed at the rest of your clothes and manhandled you into position, on your hands and knees, with your chest pressed into the old mattress.

Fucking Joel Miller was just another thing to do in the QZ, and for the most part, it worked for both of you. Anything to keep your thoughts away, anything to feel alive again.

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

[caitsyoi]

I wanted to talk about FEDRA in Seattle a bit. What they did was super impressive, even if it did end really badly for them.

Under the cut because there are lots of pictures and I talk about FEDRA too. Actually, this got really out of hand but it is interesting af to me, so click below to read my thesis on FEDRA.

I think the singular most impressive thing that FEDRA did was building this wall. I estimate that the constructed about 5 miles of concrete wall (based on Dina's map and the distance in RL Seattle), and this wall is around 4 stories tall. I have no idea how they managed this during a pandemic of this size. Maybe Seattle got a heads-up from other infected areas, and maybe they set up temporary barriers first while constructing this one. Still, that is a lot of material to haul to and set up during a devastating outbreak like in the TLOU universe. It is insanely impressive.

They also set the QZ up into zones, and the zones were created using concrete walls about a story high. That's even more work they had to do, all the while fighting off infected and trying to keep everyone fed.

I can't imagine they were receiving supplies from outside for long, their supply routes probably didn't stay functioning too long past Outbreak Day. It's unknown whether they started up any farming of their own or if the WLF was the first to do that, but as you can see here, searching the buildings for food and supplies was a very important task. If that was all they had for food for 5-10 years, it is no wonder there was heavy rationing and food shortages.

Another interesting thing about this picture are the cleared zones. Based on this and Dina's map, they cleared the zone around the FOB, Capitol Hill (and another just outside the wall but still in the neighborhood of Capitol Hill), and they cleared parts of what I'm guessing was downtown (that is if the WLF use the same names for zones as FEDRA did). They hadn't cleared the stadium (implying they weren't doing any farming), or a lot of areas in the north central part of Seattle (what is referred to as the "Contested Zone" by the WLF, which you can see on Issac's map). The security situation in the QZ was a real mess.

FEDRA did make an attempt to move people out of less secure zones and into safer ones. You can see that in some of the notes you find and on the doors to some apartments. I actually looked this up to find out what it means. Basically, the "X" means "Dangerous - Do Not Enter", "0-6" is supposed to be time and date but it could number of survivors and corpses, "NE" means "No Entry" and it's where you would indicate types of hazards, and DOA is what you think it means (this is also typically where they state the condition and amount of people found). If you want to see the reference I used, look here.

In the notes you can find, it seems like the safe zones were not a pleasant place to be. They sound like the lawless refugee camps you tend to hear about in war-torn areas. It's not surprising that some people resisted going, like the Seraphites in the NW and the residents of Hillcrest in the NE.

Another unpleasant aspect of QZ life - rationing. This seems to be a thing in every QZ we see in game, although to be fair, we only see Boston and Seattle. All the citizens of the QZ were divided into 3 groups based on their role in the QZ. "A" ration cards are the best and held by soldiers, but it's unclear who got "B" and "C" cards. What is clear is that just like in Boston, this caused a lot of resentment towards the soldiers. The WLF used this resentment to recruit members, much like we saw with the Fireflies in Boston. It makes sense, since Issac used to be a Firefly.

Ration cards also worked as identification. It's what they needed to move between different zones or enter certain areas. The WLF probably got a lot of goodwill by falsifying ration cards (and it probably allowed them to move weapons and supplies around much easier).

This is how I figured out the soldiers were type "A". This was on the FEDRA trailers near the main gate, which are designated as authorized personnel only. It also says "ablebodied" here, which makes me wonder if there was forced conscription like you saw in Boston. This seems very likely to me. It also seems like there was not a high standard for those selected for conscription, other than being physically able to do it. Again, this was probably not a popular policy.

It's pretty brutal that they didn't allow anyone with any disease or condition into the QZ. This adds up for what you find out about FEDRA in other parts of the game, but it's still sad to think of the people who weren't contagious but were still denied entry. It's also sad to think of the contagious people who were denied, although that is a bit easier to understand (although still so fucked up).

You find a note near the Fuck FEDRA gate that lists the amount of people allowed in, the amount turned away, and the amount that were kicked out. Over time, the amount allowed in decreased to 0, and the amount turned away or banished greatly increased. Again you can see why they grew to become very unpopular.

Another thing you get from these signs is that there were a ton of restrictions: no photography in certain areas, you had to surrender your firearms, no freedom of movement, and you weren't not allowed to enter OR leave the QZ without permission. Again it makes sense when you are dealing with something as dangerous as the fungus, but you can still see why this was not popular with people. Life under FEDRA was pretty darn oppressive (though it isn't much better in that respect under the Seraphites or the WLF either).

They also had a curfew at night, which also makes sense. Honestly, I wouldn't mind this because who the fuck wants to go out and possibly come across infected in the dark? I wouldn't even want to see them in the light.

There are also signs all over former FEDRA property telling people to report any suspicious activity. This makes sense with dealing with infected people, there were probably a lot of scared, recently infected people who tried to sneak in. You can see though how this was probably not just used to locate potential infected, the WLF and possibly the Seraphites were also targeted.

This is another common sign you see. They really weren't afraid to use lethal force either, there are several notes mentioning how FEDRA was willing to kill without trial, just shooting those they suspect in the street. It is not hard to see why they were overthrown. Violence begat violence, and the WLF paid them back in kind.

It had to be so hard to live in the QZ and find out someone you care about is infected. If you don't report it and they found out (which I imagine they'd have to find out eventually), you could be killed as punishment. If you do report it, you are effectively killing them. I understand why FEDRA was so strict about infection, but damn is that brutal.

Last but not least, I love that they took real photos of the different kinds of infected. Some poor FEDRA soldiers were tasked with bringing back a runner, a clicker, a stalker, and a bloater. A pretty common story for soldiers everywhere, sometimes you just get the shit jobs. I also think it's funny that in Boston they just drew pictures instead.

I also love the advice they give. For runners, it's all about not letting them swarm you. For stalkers, it's all about checking your surroundings. For clickers, it's all about keeping your distance. Finally, for bloaters it's basically don't engage unless you absolutely have to. All great advice.

Another interesting fact, there is no indication that FEDRA was ever aware of the existence of Shamblers. The earliest mention is a WLF soldier who found one and left a note to report back. That means that this type of infected took at least 5-10 years to first show up.

And that's it for my FEDRA post. If you can't tell, the TLOU universe is interesting as fuck to me. Like, I would spend cash money on a book just about TLOU lore.

Once again, if you got through all this, you are my people.

[darlingsdevil]

Of The Valley (Joel x Reader)

Chapter 7: Favors II

Summary: Life in Jackson is never easy. Consoling angsty teenagers, wading through the mysterious waters of Joel’s romance language and with a child of your own on the way? Life is about to get a lot harder

Masterlist

RDR2 Masterlist

Tag list (comment to be added or removed) @sidepuff @joelsheartache @fangirl-inthe-us @cowboyfrazer @scarletpines @mikah-writes @sleepylunarwolf @mr-robot-x @shybookdragon @heughan @writer-jamie @nelliecraine

A/N: It has come to my attention I confused a lot of you last chapter.. that was my intention lol. Romance will be coming soon, ish I guess. Finally some background knowledge on Mark though hahah.

Also, damnit tumblr, add a read more tab on mobile please. I hate flooding feeds X(

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! Seriously, reading comments make my day!

•••

Ellie was royally fucked. Her first reaction was panic, a fleeting feeling that made her want to run, because if you were at the tail end of Maria’s wrath there was no flight or fight — it was just flight.

She wanted to get away from town for one night. One night is all she asked. So she could have a good time with her girlfriend, get drunk and act like a stupid teenager. One night.

“Ellie! Get your ass down here right now!” Maria shouted from the floor below. There was no way Maria wouldn’t smell the pot on her.. she was done for.

Ellie took the walk of shame to the floor below, every step feeling like one closer to her casket. Dina and you followed behind her, wondering if you would both be in trouble.

“You’re in big trouble,” Maria began, her fury practically radiating off of her. You and Dina took a step back from the two, Maria was so focused on Ellie, you and Dina managed to avert her anger towards you two for a moment.

The last thing you wanted was for Ellie to get caught, you would have reminded her how stupid it was to leave and let Dina handle the rest, but it seemed Maria beat you to it.

“What’s our one rule in town, Ellie?” Maria questioned with a tight lipped sentence, her face stern and cold.

“Don’t leave unless you’re allowed to,” Ellie repeated, her eyes looking down.

“And what did you do tonight?”

“I broke that rule.”

Maria nodded. “Yes, you did. You’re getting taken off patrol for two months. Nine o’clock curfew from now until then,” She said sternly.

“What?! No! That’s bullshit! You can’t do that to me!” Ellie said in protest. You and Dina shifted uncomfortably behind her, wondering if you were on Maria’s next hit list.

“Yes, I can. You knew the rules and you broke them, end of discussion,” Maria reminded her. There was no winning against her.

“That’s such bullshit! You can’t take me off of patrol for two months!” Ellie continued.

“End of discussion. We’re going back to town,” Maria’s voice was deliberate, she began walking to the door, ignoring both you and Dina.

You were surprised she found Ellie, though she did mention she was waiting for Ellie to come home last night. Was it possible she was waiting that entire time for her? It was something Maria would do. Two months seemed like a harsh punishment, but Ellie did break the main rule of Jackson.

Seeing Maria reminded you of your little secret that would become not so little in a few months. When was the right time to tell her? It seemed like never, like the pregnancy was a premonition, like it hadn’t even happened yet. You couldn’t think about that now.

Ellie reluctantly began following the three of you after a few moments of shock. Maria was waiting by the door for you, when Ellie and Dina made it through the door, Maria stopped you.

“You two stay out here for a second. Don’t run off either,” She looked at the two of them standing in the doorway, they took a step back and she closed the door on them, leaving you in the lake house with Maria.

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down at the ground before sighing.

“Any explanation as to why you’re out here?” She asked, looking up at you.

“Dina couldn’t find Ellie so we snuck out to find her,” You shrugged, it was the truth.

“You told me you weren’t going outside of Jackson anymore.”

“I did it yesterday, I figured I could do it once more today. I didn’t want Dina going out here alone,” You explained.

“So if I were to assign you to patrols, you would be fine again?”

Your eyes widened, “No. I don’t want to patrol ever again. I’m fine with being outside of Jackson, I just don’t want to have the job of killing things outside of it anymore.” You put your hands up in defense.

“We’ll talk more about this in town, we need to get Ellie home first.”

•••

Maria rounded up all the teenagers after that, they all got put under curfew too, Cat included. Cat stayed cautiously away from both Dina and Ellie.

The walk home was brutally silent, and uncomfortable. You knew all the drunken teenagers were terrified of the rest of their punishment, getting yelled at by their parents and being the laughing stock of town for a few days. Rarely anyone got caught sneaking out.

The night guards at top of the watchtowers let the group in. Maria stopped them all and told them they needed to see her first thing in the morning at the Courthouse so they could be dealt with. The group dispersed after that. You could still seem them shaking in fear as they walked away.

“Dina, you can go home now. Ellie, I’m taking you home. I’ll swing by your house after, Y/N,” Maria said sternly. Ellie stood next to her awkwardly. Dina nodded and left, slipping you Mark’s gun as she left. Ellie was upset and more worried about Joel finding out. Everything that could have gone wrong tonight did go wrong, Cat was mad at her, Dina probably too, and Maria found out she snuck out. Tonight was a mess.

Maria took Ellie home, the air was tense and uncomfortable. Ellie could only focus on the leaves crunching under her feet as she passed through the town with Maria. Halloween was right around the corner, it was apparent too. Houses were decorated, some even had pumpkins outside, none carved however. No one was up it seemed, Joel went to bed early most nights, Ellie didn’t have to worry about being caught by him just yet. Even with the lights out in most houses, Jackson had a homely feel to it, it felt lived in, which it was.

“I’m disappointed in you, Ellie,” Maria said to her quietly as they passed through a neighborhood to Joel’s home.

Ellie remained silent, her brow furrowed as Maria continued.

“You should have never gone out there, you know the risks firsthand, and maybe some of those other kids don’t understand it quite well but I know for a fact you do.”

“Infected aren’t even spotted this close to town ever,” Ellie replied with defiance in her voice.

“A lake and drunk teenagers do not mix. There are wild animals out there too, many things could have happened, you’re lucky none of you got hurt,” Maria said to the teenager.

“No one got hurt.”

“You’re right no one did. Doesn’t mean because it didn’t happen this time doesn’t mean it won’t happen the next.”

“No one has gotten hurt outside of Jackson in a long time.”

Maria knew that wasn’t true, Mark was killed only a few months ago.

Maria scoffed, they reached the outside of Joel’s house, just as Ellie suspected, the lights were off. She was relieved to avert Joel’s disappointment towards her for at least a few hours. Ellie opened the gate to the backyard.

“We’re talking in the morning when you’re sober. And change your clothes, take a shower, you smell like a skunk.”

Ellie shut the gate, thudding as it closed.

•••

You managed to make it into your house quietly, it looked like no one was awake on your street. Your house was silent as usual. You clicked on the porch light as you hung your coat up, putting yours and Mark’s gun on the coffee table, you were glad you didn’t have to use it. You never wanted to use a gun again.

It was nice being home, you hoped no one would come looking for you for anymore favors tonight. Maria was still going to swing by but you figured she would give Ellie an earful first.

You took Mark’s dog tags off and fiddled them in your hand. He never took them off, you figured he would have been buried with them, yet you were glad Maria managed to save them for you. It was a reminder of who he was, a part of him that would always be with you.

Lane

Mark O.

Denver QZ

A Positive

Mark stood at the scene of the explosion. A ringing in his ears he had never heard before. It wasn’t chaotic anymore, there was no screaming, no wails of anguish, just soldiers barking orders at dazed civilians. The soldiers in Denver were used to this sort of resistance, it was not uncommon for an attack at a checkpoint. There was only two squads sent in for backup. Two squads. Three soldiers dead and two civilians.

Mark could barely even comprehend what he was seeing, like he was looking at a scene from a movie. But the air was too thick with smoke, the air stunk of gunpowder and carnage. This was no movie.

He sat on a curb, watching as the group in front of him did damage control. He watched as the bodies were taken away. He watched and did nothing. There was nothing he could do. The rest of the FEDRA soldiers had pulled him away from the checkpoint and sat him down on the curb like some child.

He couldn’t even find his older brother, only his little sister, choking out his name. He held her as she died, her eyes clouding and a gaping wound coming out of the back of her head. Mark had never felt such shock in his life, one second he was walking down the street to meet her and his brother and the next it was all in flames. He couldn’t see his brother, he couldn’t find whatever remained of him even as he frantically searched through the debris. The smoke was hurting his lungs, it was hard to breathe.

“Don’t you dare fucking die on me, Emily,” Mark shouted at her, clutching the dying girl in his arms. She was young, barely out of boarding school. There was so much blood.. blood that would stain his hands forever, his first glimpse into the true pain of this world. Her blood was slippery and warm, it got all over her clothes. She was wearing the purple shirt with a smiley face Mark worked so hard to find..

“Emmy? Emmy? No, no you’re not dying!” He repeated, shaking her. The blood kept pooling, her eyes were becoming shrouded in fog as she danced on the thin line of life and death.“Wake up, Emily.. you have to wake up,” He trailed off, a realization hitting him. His sister was dead. He could see her laughing and waving to her moments before, her braids bouncing behind her. Mark’s older brother standing next to her.

“No, no, no,” He trembled, grasping her purple shirt.. it was bloodied and dirty now. It was completely ruined.

“Luke!” He shouted, getting up quickly to find his brother. He could barely see through the smoke.. groups of people pushing to get away from the crowded checkpoint. He split through the crowd, shouting his brother's name the entire time. People shoved and pushed as his world crumbled to pieces.

There was no shout of his name in return. Only frantic people pushing him out of their way, their faces going by in blurs as he scanned the crowd for Luke. The smoke was beginning to clear at least.

Luke was standing next to Emily.. Luke was standing next to her… Luke was closer to where the explosion went off.

Mark immediately turned around, running towards where Emily was.

“Luke!” He shouted louder now, desperation in his voice. His heart thrumming so loudly in his chest he felt like it would burst.

There was no response. Only the distant rumble of trucks racing towards the checkpoint, the sound of debris settling and fires cracking. The flames danced around him, concrete and steel covering the ground, dust in the air.

“Fuck!” He mumbled breathlessly, gasping for air as his body trembled, being unable to find his older brother. The silence was disheartening, he knew the truth. Luke was closer to the blast.. and even Emily hadn’t made it. His world had unraveled so quickly, he was going to the checkpoint to meet up with his brother and sister on his arrival back home from outer wall duty, his first day off in months, he was looking forward to it, they all were. They were inviting friends over for a small party, Emily had even made a cake.

But now Luke was dead. Emily was dead. His respected, quiet older brother, his fun and innocent little sister. He knew exactly what group did this. They were going to wish he had been killed in that blast too.

•••

You opened the door for Maria, she did not look happy.

“I appreciate you looking for Ellie, but you should have told me first,” She said as you let her in, leading her to the couch.

“I didn’t want her getting in trouble with you or Joel.. I figured she could have a little time off for now,” You replied. Ellie needed it.

Maria nodded, “I’m letting Joel know in the morning. He is not going to be happy with her. But what if she had gotten into trouble out there? Could you have handled that again?”

You weren’t sure of that answer, but you would have defended yourself. “I had Dina with me.”

“You and Dina alone could not have taken on a group of hunters or infected.”

“I know,” You said softly.

“So why did you agree to go with her?” Maria asked. You knew she would have had questions, probably grilling you on going back to patrol again.

“I couldn’t let Dina go by herself, like I said. I didn’t want either of them getting caught, clearly it didn’t work,” You sighed, leaning back into the couch.

“Ellie should never have gone out there,” Maria remarked with disappointment.

“Teenagers do it all the time.. you need to be less harsh on her.” You owed Ellie a favor or two.

“She needs to be reminded of our rules in town and be more respectful,” Maria replied.

“But two months is a lot.. and in truth she was drunk.. probably high too, you shouldn’t punish her for that long. I think Ellie learned her lesson tonight, she’s just upset right now,” You negotiated. Regardless of whether Ellie had learned her lesson or not, she didn’t deserve that long of a punishment. She deserved a long scolding and a good reminder of what her actions could cause — punishment like that was only going to cause more rebellion.

“I’ll rethink. For your sake. Maybe I’ll let Joel handle her and give her the punishment the rest of the teenagers are getting.”

Telling Joel was a given. You couldn’t negotiate that. It wasn’t the best for her but Joel deserved to know. At least now that Ellie had been caught.

“Could you go back outside Jackson again?” She said after a few seconds of silence, her eyes filled with curiosity.

“I am. I’m going with Joel to the lake in a few days. But I’m not doing patrols again.” Though Joel owed you a trip back to the lake, it would be hypocritical of you to return.

“We need you back on patrols,” Maria confessed.

“I’m not going on patrols anymore,” You replied firmly.

“You know why,” You reminded her.

“Jackson needs you, we need you,” She repeated, taking your hands and placing hers on top of yours.

“You have been doing fine without me,” You said.

“We really need you.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t mean to tell you this now.. but I didn’t mean to keep this from you either,” She began with a sigh, looking away from you. You shifted in your spot, wondering what she was going to tell you.

“There's a horde of infected coming our way, they’re due to hit us in December. Jackson needs you for the fight, to lead the sniping group,” She said determinedly, trying her damndest to convince you.

A horde? There was no way you could deal with fighting a horde, you could barely take out a pack of infected these days without panicking, let alone lead others on how to shoot. You couldn’t risk danger anymore, you weren’t only protecting yourself, but the life of the child growing inside of you. A horde seemed terrifying, most of Jackson hadn’t been outside the walls in years, let alone seen infected. But people would bear arms and fight, they would protect the town if it was the last thing they could do. People would die, people would get hurt, but the town would be safe. The children would be safe. Large groups of hunters occasionally tried to wreak havoc to the town, those who could fight always would, and Jackson won every single time. They had yet to be beaten.

“I can’t.”

Maria expected that response, “I know you don’t want to. I know it reminds you of what happened to Mark, but you have to move on. You’re Jackson’s best shot, we need you the most. I don’t trust anyone on this job more than you.”

“Look, I went on your little crusade yesterday, I did what I had to do and I told you I’m done,” You said harshly, getting up from the couch and going to the kitchen.

Maria followed you, “Mark would have wanted you to help us. To protect the town,” She pressed.

You groaned and began filling up a kettle with water from your water purifier next to the sink.

“Well Mark isn’t here,” You snapped back, placing the kettle on the stove and turning it on.

“I know you don’t want to do this. I know you have your reasons, but I promise you if you do this I’ll never put you on another patrol again. All of Jackson will be indebted to you.”

You couldn’t let Maria try to coax you into returning.. there was a reason you couldn’t do this anymore, a reason that didn’t relate to Mark’s death.

“I’m pregnant.” You stopped and looked at your friend.

Her eyes widened, she was silent, thinking of what there was possibly to say.

“I can’t do patrols anymore because I’m pregnant,” You repeated, your voice solemn.

“How long have you known?” She took a step closer to you. She would have to figure out a Plan B for the horde situation now, discuss with Tommy in the morning, talk to the council.

“Hours. Only a couple of hours.” You leaned against the counter, listening to the stove hum with heat. Maria was relieved to hear that, but you had still took a risk when you looked for Ellie.

“Are you going to keep it?” She asked, her face serious.

You nodded, biting your lip. You had already decided that, had it been a few weeks earlier your choice may have been different.. but you had already made up your mind now.

“Is it-” She began, you quickly cut her off.

“Mark’s,” You replied softly,, staring at the kettle.

“Well that’s a relief, I was afraid I was going to be an aunt,” She laughed dryly.

“I just.. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m not ready to raise a child, especially not without Mark around.. he would be better at this than I would,” You confessed, trying to blink away tears that snuck up on you.

Maria quickly pulled you into a hug. “I know, honey. I think parenting sneaks up on a lot of people,” She said soothingly. You let your tears fall onto her shoulder.

It was all terrifying.. the thought of a child being born into a world as cruel as this one. The thought you being a mother alone, without Mark there to guide you. He would have been thrilled to hear the news.. having a son or daughter.

“I don’t think I can do this alone,” You sobbed gently into her shoulder, your words getting caught in your throat.

“You won’t be alone, I promise you there are people here who will help you.” She rubbed your back gently. There were people there to help you, there was a doctor’s office with trained midwives, other single parents who would understand you, a daycare with teacher’s who would give your child an education, and most of all a family who would support you no matter what. You were foolish to think Maria would be anything less than supportive.

“This is starting to sound less and less daunting,” You laughed through the tears, pulling away from Maria.

“Well, we’ll discuss more in the morning then. It’s getting late and I know you start work early,” She said. You looked over at the window, if you fell asleep within the hour you would at least get some decent rest before work.

“You’re right. It is late. I hope you get the situation figured out with the teenagers.”

“I will. I’ll make sure to get it all sorted out.” She nodded, you followed her to the door, opening it for her.

“And, could you please not tell anyone about me being pregnant? I think I’d like to keep it as quiet as possible for awhile,” You asked, your voice wavering with a hint of nervousness in it. You already had enough to talk about with enough people, you didn’t need anything else on your plate for awhile.

“I won’t.”

“Thank you for saving Mark’s dog tags for me by the way,” You mentioned.

“I’m glad you found them,” She smiled.

•••

Ellie was beyond angry, disappointed and embarrassed. Not only had she been caught in bed with her girlfriend by her best friend, now they were both mad at her and at eachother. Maria had caught the group which was even more humiliating, being found by the head of Jackson half drunk and half high. Tonight was a wreck.

All she asked for was one night, one night where she could party and do dumb teenager things and worry about her actions later. She wanted to get away from Jackson and most importantly Joel.

She didn’t want to worry about Joel lying to her, beating around the bush around what truly happened in Salt Lake all those years ago. She needed to know the truth, and Joel would never give it to her. She needed to find it out for herself. Whether that be in a month or a year, or even ten. Ellie would find out the truth, and she knew whatever she found she would not like.

Joel would yell at her in the morning, he would tell her how stupid she was for doing that and give her, his most disappointed face he could muster. Joel needed to stay in his own lane now, Ellie wasn’t a little girl anymore who needed protecting.

But Maria or you would tell him regardless, in the morning she would be officially off of patrol for two months and on a curfew. She would have to apologize to both Dina and Cat and get them to stop arguing. She would have to listen to Joel be the disappointed father figure. She would have to eventually listen to you give her some half assed explanation of why you dodged her for three months.

Ellie Williams was tired of apologies and scoldings. Something she was awfully getting used to.

•••

[dilliebar]

I’ll Show You: A Dillie Fic

Hey guys, I just finished writing another little fic for ya’ll. I know we’re all running low on Ellie/Dina content so I’ve been working my booty off to p r o v i d e. Especially now that I’m done with school I can focus a lot more on fics, at least until June 19th anyway haha. Anyway, enjoy guys!

Ellie and Dina set out on yet another long patrol, but this time, with Dina's boyfriend third-wheeling. Having a bit of trouble in paradise, this isn't exactly a recipe for success, and when the trio find themselves setting up camp at an old community of cabins for the night, tensions begin to unfold in the love triangle. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24195085

Jackson was pretty well-known for its relatively warm springs and summers, at least in comparison to the Boston QZ, anyway. Any snow that happened to collect on the ground during the winter wouldn’t last for long. By the first sign of spring, the icy, white powder that caked the trees would quickly drip away back into the earth, snowmen that children built and admired saw their pebble smiles melt into puddles of water, and more often than not peoples’ shoes would be drenched in mud every time they took a step outside.

None of that seemed to bother Ellie, though. She would take mud and heat over the freezing temperatures and sight-hindering snow storms any day. Not to mention, this time of year was a lot less stressful on her, and so her first patrol out would be a heck of a lot less scary than the ones a few months before that brought back not-so-fun memories.

 And she was with Dina, so that was always a plus.

They had already been travelling from the settlement for a few hours, since supplies on their regular patrol routes were becoming less and less abundant. It seemed like after every patrol they would have to travel just a little bit further, and after that one, a couple miles more, and looking forward they really didn’t know where they would eventually end up. But for now, the pair set out to Idaho Falls, which was a bit more than eighty miles west of Jackson. Neither of them really had a problem with it, but the third wheel glued to their side was getting on their nerves.

“So when we get into the city, you guys stick to me. Got it?”

Dina rolled her eyes as she rode on the back of the saddle behind Jesse. He wasn’t even supposed to be on this patrol, but he had absolutely insisted on it for some reason or another.

“Yessir,” she replied sarcastically, making a face at the girl riding next to them. Ellie let out a snicker at her mocking tone. Sometimes she wondered why Dina and Jesse were even dating at all, considering how much they squabbled.

In fact, not even a day before this entire patrol, the younger girl was at her house in the middle of the night going on and on about how she was going to leave him if he kept up his behavior, how controlling and demanding he is, yada yada yada. She could see the discomfort written on her friend’s face whenever he was around, which didn’t make a lot of sense considering what a relationship was supposed to be about. Despite their arguments they almost always seemed to end up back together one way or another, though, usually ending in Dina apologizing for things that she didn’t do and Jesse forgiving her for imaginary problems.

And Ellie just didn’t get it.

The majority of the trek was filled with long stretches of awkward silence, something that was fairly uncommon when the two girls were alone. If one thing was for sure, this was going to be a long patrol.

But soon the sunlight began to dim, and disappeared over the trees, leaving the trio in darkness.

“Still about twenty miles out,” Jesse stated monotonically, “There’s a small cluster of cabins just off the highway. Best stay there for the night.”

The other two nodded in agreement as they diverged from the road.

Ellie looked over at Dina, who had been awfully quiet the entire time. There was a far-off look in her eye, almost as if she had checked out of the conversation completely, which was quite unlike her being the chatterbox that she usually was. While Ellie would generally find her sarcastic, playful demeanor somewhat excessive at times, she actually started to miss it. Instead, she felt a tinge of annoyance at the way Jesse didn’t even really seem to notice, or at least care.

That’s when their eyes met for the shortest moment, bringing Dina back to reality and causing a smile to pull at her lips. Ellie gave a small smile back in return as they approached the small neighborhood of cabins, all of which seemed to have been left without a trace of any inhabitants whatsoever.

The community was fairly rustic, with overgrown dirt paths leading from one of the three log cabins to another, all meeting in the middle, where a fire pit and an old grill stood untouched. The cabins themselves were similar, but each held their own unique features. One had a more modern, triangular design, with windows that stretched across the height of the building; the one to the east looked small, but cozy, with a stone chimney poking out the top of the house; and the last one, facing the north, had a traditional lodge-feel to it, with a small back wooden porch built just slightly over the lake. The neighborhood was surrounded by magnificent fir trees and pines, and it was a community that Ellie could see herself living in someday. It was calm, away from everything, almost as if it were a world of its own.

Ellie and Jesse rode the two horses over to separate sides of the porch of the triangular cabin, hopping off of them and tying their leads to the posts of the railing. Jesse reached up to take Dina’s hand.

“I got it,” she declined, jumping off of the saddle.

Jesse just shook his head.

“I’m gonna sweep this one, Dina-”

“I’m going with Ellie.”

He sighed in defeat, nodding in acknowledgment as he made his way up the porch steps and into the house. Ellie snickered as the two were finally left alone.

“Didn’t work it out, huh?”

Dina laughed, “Yeah, no.”

The pair made the short walk over to the small, eastern-facing cabin. From the outside, it was definitely the least spacious of the three, just big enough for one or two people at most. Rocks outlined what had been a garden stretching around the side of the house, though by this point it had overgrown to the point where the plants had begun to climb up the foundation. The wooden beams supporting the overhang of the porch had clearly worn over the years, showing its age, but frankly it seemed much more sturdy than some other houses they had seen on patrol. Ellie placed her foot on the first step, causing it to creak. Almost in response, they heard a crash from inside.

She walked quietly up the steps, pulling out her pistol from her backpack pocket. She nodded at Dina, giving her the cue to pull out hers as well before peeking in the living room window, checking to see if any infected were nearby. As far as she could tell, it looked clear, but the two knew better than to trust only their eyes. Ellie tapped lightly on the glass, with still no sign of the source of the noise. She gave a half-hearted shrug to Dina, who just shrugged in response.

Ellie placed her hand on the knob of the door, hoping it wasn’t locked, and turned it ever-so slowly in an attempt to make as little noise as possible. To their surprise, it opened with ease, and the pair made their way into the living room, guns up and ready.

The house on the inside looked just as cozy as the outside of the cabin presented itself. Aside from the bathroom off to the left side of the house, it was all one room split up into distinct areas. To their right where they walked in was an old bed, blanketed in a colorful handmade quilt. To their left was the living area, where a rustic couch, stone fireplace and knit carpet made their warm presence known. And in the back of the house was the kitchen and dining room, in which the wood stove reminded Ellie all too much of Joel’s cooking. 

Despite the welcoming appearance of the cabin, both Ellie and Dina made sure to stay alert, noticing a broken vase on the ground next to the kitchen table. It was undoubtedly the noise that they had heard, but who caused it was yet to be seen.

That’s when they heard a thud from the bathroom.

Ellie slowly made her way over to the bathroom door, which was open slightly ajar. She put her hand on the knob, and carefully pushed it open. Still, no signs of infected, but she did notice the shower curtain to her left that was pulled shut, which was most definitely hiding something.

“Careful, dumbass.” Dina whispered from the living area.

Ellie put a finger over her lips in response and then moved it over the trigger of her pistol, her other hand on the curtain. She mentally counted down from three to one in her head before ripping open the shower curtain and pulling the trigger non-hesitantly with a loud bang.

But to her surprise, the shower was empty, and a furry critter dashed its way between her legs and out the front door.

A cat.

“You two alright?!” they heard Jesse shout from across the way.

“We’re fine!” Ellie shouted back, sighing, “Stupid cat.”

She turned around and walked back into the living room, to where Dina was smirking deviously.

“What’s the matter, Williams?” she teased, “Cat’s got your tongue?”

Ellie just rolled her eyes as she began searching through the kitchen cabinets. She was slightly embarrassed but there was no way she would admit it. 

“I mean you really escaped the claws of death there.”

Finally she spun around on her heel.

“Are you gonna help me, or are you just going to make cat puns the rest of the night?”

Dina raised her hands in defense, “Sorry, last time I checked, you really liked pus-”

That’s when Jesse appeared in the doorway, bundle of firewood under his arm and a box of matches in his hand. Whatever Dina was about to say caught in her throat.

“Found some firewood, thought we could cook up something to eat.”

The two hummed in agreement as Ellie finished up scouring the cabinets and Dina searched the living area and bedside drawers. They hadn’t eaten at all since they set out from Jackson early in the morning, so both of them were pretty much on the verge of starving. But Ellie couldn’t help but think in curiosity about the younger girl as she searched mindlessly through the bedroom area.

When Dina had come over to her and Joel’s house the night before, she hadn’t really said what prompted the visit, and honestly all that Ellie really cared about- even though it was a bit embarrassing- was listening to her friend vent and allowing her to decompress. Ellie just wanted her to be happy, and she could tell right then by her blank stare and tired body language that she definitely wasn’t.

Within a few minutes they finished searching the house, unfortunately not gathering many supplies, but in all honesty that wouldn’t matter all that much once they got into the city. They did happen to find food, though, which was always a plus when it came to scavenging. Ellie was even able to find a small bar of dark chocolate, probably used for baking before all of this, which she quickly shoved into her pocket for later. It was a small, but nowadays the smallest things made all the difference between a good day and a bad one.

By the time the two got outside, Jesse was already crouched around the campfire, setting up the logs and old scraps of newspaper in an attempt to start a fire. Hot expired canned goods were always better than cold ones.

Leaning against the grill were a couple of old camping chairs, which looked old but would probably be fine. She set up one for each of the three of them, with Ellie sitting on the far right, Dina in the middle, and Jesse to the far left. Soon enough the fire was up and roaring, and they all settled on canned pasta for a late dinner. Once again an invisible elephant placed itself smack dab in the middle of their silent conversation, and yet no one wanted to bring it up. Finally Ellie just decided to break the silence. “So, find anything good?”

Jesse puffed at her attempt to make conversation, not even making eye contact with her, almost as she had done something wrong. She couldn’t really remember anything, only making her more confused with the entire situation.

Dina sighed next to Ellie, setting her half-empty portion of pasta down next to her folding chair and standing up.

“I need some air.”

Jesse scoffed, “We’re already outside.”

She responded with a display of her middle finger.

Ellie just watched in amazement at the tension that pulled on both of them as Dina disappeared into some of the trees behind the eastern cabin. Frankly, she had never seen Dina that pissed off. Usually she would at least make some sort of sarcastic remark to lighten the mood a little bit.

She looked back over to Jesse, who shook his head and stabbed at the remaining pasta in the aluminum can. 

“Okay, that’s it.” Ellie stated, “What in the hell happened between you two?”

Jesse rolled his eyes and set down the can, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. He definitely had a look of annoyance in his eyes, but he also looked much more upset than angry. He shook his head again, staring into the ground.

“Nothing.”

Now it was Ellie’s turn to be annoyed. Were they really going to just fight over the course of the entire patrol and not say a word about it? Traveling this far outside of Jackson was already miserable enough, and now she was going to have to deal with their drama, too?

“Listen, I hear you, man,” she sympathized, “but I feel like a kid sitting between two divorced parents right now.”

Jesse snickered at her comment. He thought about it carefully before looking back up to meet her eyes. Ellie never really liked Jesse from the minute he started dating Dina, but she decided to stay out of the way as long as he treated her right. Sitting here in silence while letting the tension build and build and build wasn’t treating her right.

“Just give us a minute.”

Ellie nodded as she quickly finished up what was left in her can. As she heard the shuffle of Dina’s footsteps behind her, she prayed that they could either just work this out or come to some sort of agreement at least for the rest of the patrol for her and Dina’s sake. She gave Jesse one last pleading look before standing up out of her chair.

“Going somewhere, freckles?”

She smiled at the nickname.

“Nah, I just think I’ve had about enough for today. Probably gonna turn in.”

Dina returned the answer with a small frown, a hint of disappointment flashing in her deep brown eyes.

“Alright, well see you tomorrow loser.”

“Night buttface.”

Ellie decided she might as well spend the night in the house they had already searched and leave the bigger one to Jesse and Dina. They still had to clear out the one near the lake, too, but she didn’t really feel like doing it right then and it could probably just wait until morning if at all.

She closed the door behind her and gave one last look outside the window to where the couple remained by the fire. Though she couldn’t quite decipher what they were saying, at the very least, their lips were moving as if they were talking, and that couldn’t be much of a bad thing, could it?

Ellie slipped off her shoes by the door and fell back into the bed. She felt her muscles relax instantly; they really had traveled a long way that day, and after all of the added relationship drama she could definitely use a good night’s rest. She pulled the quilt up over her body and adjusted the old, dusty pillow, finding a position she was comfortable in after a minute, and felt herself drifting further and further into rest.

She let her mind wander from topic to topic, but she found herself always drawn back to the thought of Dina. Her best friend was sarcastic and witty, but always kind to a fault, and sometimes Ellie worried about her for that. She was forgiving, and understanding, and a hundred percent invested in her relationships, and even when she didn’t get as much in return, she stayed committed. Sometimes Ellie wondered if she was really okay with Jesse, no matter how many times Dina said their relationship was fine, but if she ever thought to say anything she would usually just end up keeping it to herself for Dina’s sake.

Unfortunately for Ellie, the couple didn’t really mind letting the world know that they were having issues.

Loud shouting sounded from outside her window, and Ellie let out a groan of annoyance at the couple’s inability to work literally anything out. She ripped the covers off of her and walked over to the window to see a red-faced Dina storming off towards the lake, leaving Jesse alone by the fire. She watched to see if he would go after her, as he should, but instead he grabbed his backpack, shook his head and made his way back into the triangular-shaped cabin.

What a dick.

Ellie looked down at her tattered shoes, then back out the window, and then let out a small sigh. Did she want to just be alone? Should she follow her? After all, they were best friends, and whenever Ellie needed a pick-me-up she usually turned to Dina for a good laugh. She thought about it maybe for a moment before she was suddenly pulling on her shoes and making her way out into the summer night.

It was a bit cooler than usual, and she rubbed at her arms at the small chill she got upon exiting the cabin. She turned her head to see Dina’s shadowy figure sitting unaccompanied, legs hanging over the side of the lake cabin’s back porch, her boots just touching the surface of the water. Her head hung down and her shoulders were ever-so-slightly depressed. Ellie hadn’t seen Dina look that defeated in a while, and part of her really wanted to go tear Jesse a new one for whatever the hell he had said to make her look that upset, but instead she took the high road and made her way over to the shorter girl.

As Ellie approached Dina turned her head slightly to see who the source of her footsteps was, and her heart shattered as she noticed tears brimming in the younger girl’s eyes. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should turn around and let her have a moment to herself, but when Dina scooted over a bit to make room on the ledge, she didn’t wait long to take the invitation. She sat herself down to the left of her friend, who rubbed at her eyes and kept her head down.

When Ellie sat next to her she noticed something sticking out of her own pocket that she had completely forgotten about, but she couldn’t think of a better occasion to take it out than right now.

“You want some?”

Dina looked back up at the taller girl, who was holding out a piece of an old candy bar. The wrapper was a faded silver with blue ends, and the chocolate coating was a bit white, but she took the offered half anyway.

“Only if it doesn’t make me puke.”

“Oh, it definitely will.”

The two sat there on the porch for a bit, eating the chocolate as their legs dangled over the lake. It was probably one of the most scenic places Ellie had seen in her life, and coming from someone who had seen half the country, that meant a lot. She found herself captivated by the moon’s reflection off the water, which remained still as with the rest of the lake, and the sky was clear, allowing them to gaze up at the millions of stars up above.

Finally Ellie shook her head and turned to Dina, eyebrows tilted upwards showing her concern.

“What happened?”

Dina sighed.

“I told you last night, he’s just being an asshole.”

Not getting the answer she was looking for, Ellie prompted her again.

“No, I mean what happened?”

Dina rolled her eyes and fell back onto the boards of the porch, bringing her hands up to cover her face, contemplating.

“He wanted me to switch patrol routes with Jason.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow.

“Weren’t he and Jesse supposed to go together?”

Dina nodded.

Ellie tried to piece together the information in her head, but anything she was coming up with didn’t make any sense. Why would Jesse not want Dina to go on patrol with her? Sure, they hadn’t always come back with a ton of supplies, and sometimes things went wrong, but that was true for everybody; in fact, most of the time, they brought back more supplies than any other pair did.

“Why?”

Dina tilted her head to look over at Ellie, who was beyond confused at that point. Dina’s lips curved up into a small smile when their eyes met, much like the smile that they had exchanged earlier that day. Ellie couldn’t help but feel her heart flutter at the sight, and that’s when Dina sat back up.

“Why do you think?”

Ellie scoffed.

“Right, because I’d be asking if I knew.”

“I think you do know.”

The confusion grew at her comment, and it skyrocketed as Dina pulled her feet up onto the deck and began untying her boots.

“Now what are you doing?”

“Going for a swim, you coming?”

“I can’t swim, asshole.”

“I’ll show you.”

Ellie just stared in disbelief and felt her face get a redder and redder as Dina removed the rest of her clothes, sparing her underwear, and she sincerely hoped that Dina couldn’t see how flustered she was getting. But at the same time, her movements seemed slow and taunting, almost as if she knew what she was doing, and Ellie didn’t know whether to be grateful or embarrassed for the heat that was rising in her body.

It wasn’t until Dina reached over the ledge and felt the temperature of the water with her hand that Ellie realized she was serious. The water, even in the summer, was probably freezing, and it’s not like they had unlimited changes of clothes or something; they were old enough as it was, the water would only wreck them more.

But still, she watched as Dina slipped slowly into the water while holding onto the ledge, allowing herself time to adjust to its freezing cold temperature.

“What are you waiting for, freckles?”

Ellie gave her a “really” look.

“I mean, unless you’re scared.”

She narrowed her eyebrows.

“I’m not scared.”

“Prove it,” she teased, “stay for a bit.”

Ellie hesitated for a moment, their eyes locked in a tension-filled stare; not the kind of tension between Jesse and Dina, though, it was something that Ellie couldn’t really put her finger on. But the mood had definitely shifted from something somber to something a bit more intimate, and Ellie was starting to like it.

Before she could change her own mind, Ellie removed her top in one swift motion, throwing it to the side along with her old, tattered pair of jeans and shoes. The summer breeze chilled her skin even more, and she couldn’t imagine what it would be like when she got into the water. But then her eyes met Dina’s again, and suddenly she couldn’t even remember what cold felt like.

“Come on in,” she said, “I’ve got you.”

Dina reached up and put an arm around Ellie’s waist as she slowly lowered herself into the lake, but she stopped as soon as her foot touched the water.

“No way, that’s fucking freezing.”

“Haha no! Come on!”

“I am not going in there you ice cube.”

Dina let go of her waist and instead  grabbed her hand between her own, looking deviously into Ellie’s eyes.

“What’re you-”

Suddenly all Ellie felt was the frigid cold water around her as Dina pulled her off of the ledge and into the lake. She started to panic, being underwater and not being quite sure how to get back up, but a pair of hands quickly pulled her back to the surface.

Ellie coughed any water she had accidentally swallowed and looked at the shorter girl with a piercing glare.

“What the hell dude?!”

Dina’s hands were still placed firmly on her waist, and Ellie brought her arms up around Dina’s shoulders to keep herself afloat. She was sure that the lake wasn’t that deep considering how close the edge of the porch was to land, but not being able to touch the bottom of it terrified her.

“Here,” Dina said, pulling Ellie’s hands off of her and moving one of her own back on her waist, using the other to keep herself afloat, “just move your arms like you’re pushing the water away from you.”

Ellie sighed and hesitantly moved a little bit away from Dina, trying to do exactly what she was saying. At first her moves were frantic, as if she was absolutely sure that by doing what she said she would most certainly drown, but soon she realized that she was still above water, and she allowed her movements to relax a little bit.

“Okay, good, now kick your feet.”

Again, at first Ellie kicked for dear life, and suddenly she felt Dina let go of her waist.

“Hey, don’t leave!”

Dina laughed, making Ellie’s heart flutter in her chest.

“You’re good, look, you’re doing it all by yourself.”

Ellie looked down and realized her head was still inches above water, which meant that this was actually working. It felt unnatural, considering it was something she’d never done before in her life, but soon her body gave into the soothing flow of the water, and after a couple minutes she actually began to feel comfortable.

She then watched as Dina effortlessly flipped onto her back, floating on top of the water without needing to do anything. She looked so calm as opposed to about ten minutes ago.

“How do you do that?”

Dina hummed.

“You don’t,” she responded, “just float.”

Ellie honestly wasn’t really sure what she was doing, but she tried to mimic what Dina had done as best as possible, and soon she found herself floating on her back along with her. She never imagined that swimming could be so calm, although she wasn’t really sure if this counted as swimming, but she didn’t really care.

The two of them stayed close like that for a bit, with their arms or legs sometimes brushing up against another, and Ellie got chills every time. The view above them made it even better; it was like the universe decided to give them their own private show as the stars sprinkled themselves throughout the sky, the moon like a spotlight on their little lake here in the middle of nowhere.

This is what Ellie missed over those long hours of patrol that day, that being the closeness that often displayed itself in their everyday interactions. What was rare was moments like this; the special ones that made Ellie’s heart race whenever she thought about them; the ones that helped her see another side of her friend, one that was more vulnerable and at peace.

“We were arguing about you.”

Ellie was instantly snapped out of her thoughtful trance at those words, and she went back to wading in the water so she could stare at Dina in disbelief. Why were they arguing about her? That didn’t make any sense. Dina went back to wading, too, meeting Ellie’s gaze.

“Why, did I do something?”

Dina shook her head.

“No, idiot,” she stated with a sigh, “he’s jealous.”

Ellie suddenly felt her body heat up. Jealous? Of what? If anything, Ellie usually found herself jealous of the romantic aspect of Dina and Jesse’s relationship. Why would he be jealous of her? After all, it’s not like that had done anything like that, although Ellie definitely, definitely wouldn’t be opposed to it. She was so unopposed to it, in fact, that she couldn’t help but notice the very short distance between them.

“Why’s that?”

Dina smirked.

“Do I really have to show you everything, freckles?”

Ellie’s entire body froze as she suddenly felt a soft pair of lips against her own and gentle hands on both sides of her face. It took the wind out of her, but she cherished every year-long second that passed by right then in ecstasy. Her first instinct was to deepen the kiss, but as soon as she moved her hands to Dina’s neck she felt them begin to sink.

Almost as if she had planned it, Dina lifted her legs up around Ellie’s waist as Ellie struggled to find a balance between keeping them afloat and enjoying the long-awaited moment that was ensuing. Dina’s lips were unlike anything she could’ve ever imagined, tasting slightly sweet from the chocolate they had earlier, but heavenly on a whole other level. Suddenly she felt like she was drowning for a completely different reason aside from the fact that she was barely keeping them up above water, and Ellie was loving every second of it.

When Dina pulled back Ellie immediately wanted more, but settled for leaning their heads together to allow them both time to catch their breath and to process what had just happened. Ellie was somewhat shocked, but Dina just smiled adorably.

“See? I told you, freckles,” she teased, “swimming is the easy part.”

Ellie just smiled back and stared into those deep brown, sparkling eyes in disbelief of what had just happened. She was about to lean back in when suddenly Dina pushed back, splashing her with a facefull of water. When Ellie had finished wiping the water out of her eyes she looked around for Dina, who was just walking out of the lake.

“Where are you going?” Ellie laughed at the bizarreness of the situation.

Dina raised an eyebrow suggestively, making a come-hither motion with her hand.

“Let’s go back to the cabin,” she replied, “I’ll show you how to do some other things.”

Ellie hung her mouth open, knowing for the most part that Dina was joking, but what peaked her interest was that she was still down to her underwear and seemingly had no intention of going back to the porch for her clothes.

“Don’t we need our clothes?” she questioned, getting out of the water.

Dina smirked.

“Don’t need ‘em.” she said with a wink.

Ellie let out a small laugh of bewilderment before allowing Dina to grab her hand and guide them to the cozy cabin.

“Lead the way.”