#overall they managed pretty well when facing an extremely overwhelming situation

[caitsyoi]

I wanted to talk about FEDRA in Seattle a bit. What they did was super impressive, even if it did end really badly for them.

Under the cut because there are lots of pictures and I talk about FEDRA too. Actually, this got really out of hand but it is interesting af to me, so click below to read my thesis on FEDRA.

I think the singular most impressive thing that FEDRA did was building this wall. I estimate that the constructed about 5 miles of concrete wall (based on Dina's map and the distance in RL Seattle), and this wall is around 4 stories tall. I have no idea how they managed this during a pandemic of this size. Maybe Seattle got a heads-up from other infected areas, and maybe they set up temporary barriers first while constructing this one. Still, that is a lot of material to haul to and set up during a devastating outbreak like in the TLOU universe. It is insanely impressive.

They also set the QZ up into zones, and the zones were created using concrete walls about a story high. That's even more work they had to do, all the while fighting off infected and trying to keep everyone fed.

I can't imagine they were receiving supplies from outside for long, their supply routes probably didn't stay functioning too long past Outbreak Day. It's unknown whether they started up any farming of their own or if the WLF was the first to do that, but as you can see here, searching the buildings for food and supplies was a very important task. If that was all they had for food for 5-10 years, it is no wonder there was heavy rationing and food shortages.

Another interesting thing about this picture are the cleared zones. Based on this and Dina's map, they cleared the zone around the FOB, Capitol Hill (and another just outside the wall but still in the neighborhood of Capitol Hill), and they cleared parts of what I'm guessing was downtown (that is if the WLF use the same names for zones as FEDRA did). They hadn't cleared the stadium (implying they weren't doing any farming), or a lot of areas in the north central part of Seattle (what is referred to as the "Contested Zone" by the WLF, which you can see on Issac's map). The security situation in the QZ was a real mess.

FEDRA did make an attempt to move people out of less secure zones and into safer ones. You can see that in some of the notes you find and on the doors to some apartments. I actually looked this up to find out what it means. Basically, the "X" means "Dangerous - Do Not Enter", "0-6" is supposed to be time and date but it could number of survivors and corpses, "NE" means "No Entry" and it's where you would indicate types of hazards, and DOA is what you think it means (this is also typically where they state the condition and amount of people found). If you want to see the reference I used, look here.

In the notes you can find, it seems like the safe zones were not a pleasant place to be. They sound like the lawless refugee camps you tend to hear about in war-torn areas. It's not surprising that some people resisted going, like the Seraphites in the NW and the residents of Hillcrest in the NE.

Another unpleasant aspect of QZ life - rationing. This seems to be a thing in every QZ we see in game, although to be fair, we only see Boston and Seattle. All the citizens of the QZ were divided into 3 groups based on their role in the QZ. "A" ration cards are the best and held by soldiers, but it's unclear who got "B" and "C" cards. What is clear is that just like in Boston, this caused a lot of resentment towards the soldiers. The WLF used this resentment to recruit members, much like we saw with the Fireflies in Boston. It makes sense, since Issac used to be a Firefly.

Ration cards also worked as identification. It's what they needed to move between different zones or enter certain areas. The WLF probably got a lot of goodwill by falsifying ration cards (and it probably allowed them to move weapons and supplies around much easier).

This is how I figured out the soldiers were type "A". This was on the FEDRA trailers near the main gate, which are designated as authorized personnel only. It also says "ablebodied" here, which makes me wonder if there was forced conscription like you saw in Boston. This seems very likely to me. It also seems like there was not a high standard for those selected for conscription, other than being physically able to do it. Again, this was probably not a popular policy.

It's pretty brutal that they didn't allow anyone with any disease or condition into the QZ. This adds up for what you find out about FEDRA in other parts of the game, but it's still sad to think of the people who weren't contagious but were still denied entry. It's also sad to think of the contagious people who were denied, although that is a bit easier to understand (although still so fucked up).

You find a note near the Fuck FEDRA gate that lists the amount of people allowed in, the amount turned away, and the amount that were kicked out. Over time, the amount allowed in decreased to 0, and the amount turned away or banished greatly increased. Again you can see why they grew to become very unpopular.

Another thing you get from these signs is that there were a ton of restrictions: no photography in certain areas, you had to surrender your firearms, no freedom of movement, and you weren't not allowed to enter OR leave the QZ without permission. Again it makes sense when you are dealing with something as dangerous as the fungus, but you can still see why this was not popular with people. Life under FEDRA was pretty darn oppressive (though it isn't much better in that respect under the Seraphites or the WLF either).

They also had a curfew at night, which also makes sense. Honestly, I wouldn't mind this because who the fuck wants to go out and possibly come across infected in the dark? I wouldn't even want to see them in the light.

There are also signs all over former FEDRA property telling people to report any suspicious activity. This makes sense with dealing with infected people, there were probably a lot of scared, recently infected people who tried to sneak in. You can see though how this was probably not just used to locate potential infected, the WLF and possibly the Seraphites were also targeted.

This is another common sign you see. They really weren't afraid to use lethal force either, there are several notes mentioning how FEDRA was willing to kill without trial, just shooting those they suspect in the street. It is not hard to see why they were overthrown. Violence begat violence, and the WLF paid them back in kind.

It had to be so hard to live in the QZ and find out someone you care about is infected. If you don't report it and they found out (which I imagine they'd have to find out eventually), you could be killed as punishment. If you do report it, you are effectively killing them. I understand why FEDRA was so strict about infection, but damn is that brutal.

Last but not least, I love that they took real photos of the different kinds of infected. Some poor FEDRA soldiers were tasked with bringing back a runner, a clicker, a stalker, and a bloater. A pretty common story for soldiers everywhere, sometimes you just get the shit jobs. I also think it's funny that in Boston they just drew pictures instead.

I also love the advice they give. For runners, it's all about not letting them swarm you. For stalkers, it's all about checking your surroundings. For clickers, it's all about keeping your distance. Finally, for bloaters it's basically don't engage unless you absolutely have to. All great advice.

Another interesting fact, there is no indication that FEDRA was ever aware of the existence of Shamblers. The earliest mention is a WLF soldier who found one and left a note to report back. That means that this type of infected took at least 5-10 years to first show up.

And that's it for my FEDRA post. If you can't tell, the TLOU universe is interesting as fuck to me. Like, I would spend cash money on a book just about TLOU lore.

Once again, if you got through all this, you are my people.

[zodiactalks]

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT CANCER ZODIAC SIGN

Loyal, moody, creative, and insecure. Cancers are a walking contradiction, and we wouldn't want it any other way.

This unique Zodiac sign is one of the best friends you could possibly have, as well as one of the most interesting.

But what makes them so interesting?

Well, there's plenty to choose from.

#1. Cancer's ruling planet isn't a planet at all.

It's a satellite!

That's right, Cancer's ruler "planet" is the moon, and though some people might call them lunatics because of this, having the moon as a ruling "planet" only goes to show you how different Cancers are.

#2. Cancers are very contradictory.

While contradictions are usually associated with Gemini, the truth is that Cancers can be just as confusing.

They're complicated, fragile, and no one really understands them other than themselves, which makes trying to get to know them a challenging, but rewarding experience.

#3. They make for fantastic life-long friends.

A friendship with a Cancer can last a lifetime, thanks in no small part to this sign's loyalty and devotion.

Cancers can make you feel good about yourself, and always make you feel wanted, which means they're rarely hurting for company.

#4. They're not very good at sharing their feelings.

Though they're always happy to listen to others and offer advice, they're not very good at sharing their feelings and talking about their problems.

They're not reserved, but they'd rather not bother others with their predicaments.

#5. Cancers crave attention. (On their terms.)

Contradictory as it might seem considering the previous point, Cancers love being the center of attention and hanging out with their friends.

There's a caveat, though. Cancers almost always prefer small reunions with close friends over large parties, and they only really like getting attention when it's on their terms.

#6. Cancers have a lot of defenses.

Like the crab that symbolizes them, Cancers have a tough exterior that they use to protect their soft and mushy insides.

More than anything, Cancer is afraid of being hurt by those they love, which means they build up defenses to protect themselves and hide from others.

What's remarkable is that they can do this without becoming shy or withdrawn. They can be the most outgoing people on earth, but those defenses will still be there.

#7. Cancers are fantastic at business.

Cancers are responsible, intuitive, and creative, which often works wonders for them in terms of their profession.

Their creativity and outside-the-box thinking can quickly gain them the attention of the upper-ups, and it's not uncommon for Cancerians to seek to become their own bosses sooner rather than later.

#8. They're great with money.

Cancers are always planning for the future. In part because it's exciting, in part because they want to get there as prepared as possible.

As such, Cancers tend to be very practical and careful with their morning, planning for their retirement, rainy day funds, and general financial well-being.

#9. When they conquer their emotions, they become invincible.

Cancers tend to be ruled by emotions, and, as such, they can be overwhelming when things get too hard.

However, if a Cancer individual manages to keep their emotions in check and doesn't allow themselves to be manipulated by them, nothing will be able to stop them.

#10. They get stressed easily.

Cancers get stressed very easily and, as such, often suffer from stress-related health issues.

Cancer needs to have a hobby they can do to relax and to exercise frequently to let go of all that harmful stress.

#11. They're jealous lovers.

Of course, there are exceptions, but overall, Cancers tend to be very jealous lovers that need reassurance to be comfortable in a relationship.

They want to know that they matter to you, so hands-off relationships don't work with this sign.

#12. They hate criticism.

Cancers often struggle to receive criticism, mainly if it's unsolicited.

They tend to take things personally, and even constructive criticisms can feel like an attack on them.

Unsolicited advice will be ignored at best, interpreted as an attack at worst.

#13. They have a fantastic memory.

And they're not afraid to use it against you, bringing up past arguments and mistakes you've made to back up their claims.

Try not arguing with a Cancer. It's for your own peace of mind.

#14. Their intuition is unrivaled.

Cancers have a very developed intuition and can usually read people and situations much better than other signs; This has earned Cancerians a reputation as paranoid individuals, but is it really paranoia if they're right?

#15. When they're mad, they vanish.

When they're angry at someone, Cancers, tend to distance themselves from the situation, choosing to vent and fume in privacy until they've gathered their fresh and feel ready to face the world again.

This evasion can come off as childish and immature, but it's actually a fantastic way to avoid even worse confrontations.

While other signs explode, Cancer keeps their cool and can reach a solution much faster.

#16. They love sleeping but have trouble doing it.

Cancers have an overactive mind, and, as such, they're always thinking. This is what makes sleep so attractive to Cancers—the ability to shut their brains off for a while and relax.

However, their overactive brains often keep them awake, and it's not uncommon for Cancers to be sleep-deprived.

#17. They're terrible at saying no.

Cancers are pretty bad at saying no, particularly when it comes to people they love.

Unfortunately, this means that people are often taking advantage of their gentle disposition, which only reinforces Cancer's need to build up their shields and protect themselves.

#18. It's hard to earn their trust.

While Cancers have no problem making a bunch of acquaintances, making friends is a whole other ballpark.

It's not that they're bad at it, but rather that they're often suspicious of other people's intentions and tend to keep others at arm's length until they can be sure they won't be hurt.

Establishing a close relationship with a Cancer isn't always easy, but it sure is worth it.

#19. They make for great, caring leaders.

When Cancer reaches a leadership position, you can be sure that they'll worry about their subordinates and try to make their lives easier.

They feel a significant level of responsibility for the people they're in charge of, and will go the extra mile to ensure everyone is satisfied and well-cared for.

Of course, this caring disposition can make Cancer a prime target for employees trying to abuse their trust, but that's a very bad idea, because...

#20. Once you get on their bad side, there's no going back.

It takes a lot to push a Cancer to this extreme, but once you anger a Cancer badly enough, you can be sure you've made an enemy for life.

[ink-on-the-brink]

Hi I really love your writing!! Do you think you can write more for medic or sniper how they’d act in a relationship? I really like how you write them and I’d love to see more! (:

Ayo, my first ask! I'm glad you enjoyed my interpretation, it's good to know my stuff's entertaining! Anyway here's some quick headcannons for them in a relationship ^-^

Medic

Now Medic isn't really the type of person to get into relationships much. He's often too busy with work for such things. However, that doesn't mean he's immune to the love bug.

Chances are if you're dating him it's because you two work together or have the same fascination with the human body. It's practically a deal-breaker for him if you're squeamish. He loves his work, so if you don't also find at least a little interest in it he's most likely not going to see you in a romantic light.

When he does end up in a relationship though you can bet your entire ass that it's all but conventional. It's either a Bonnie and Clyde situation or he manages to find someone who dulls down his more psychopathic tendencies.  Either way each day with him is sure to be one hell of a trip, for better or worse.

Despite his apparent love for gore and mutilation, he can be somewhat of a lovesick puppy once he's far enough into a relationship. Often seeking the attention of his lover, despite his denials of doing such a thing.

This man has three modes, blood-covered psychopath, professional doctor, and absolute dork. The changes between the three depend entirely on who he's with and what he's doing. You most often than not will see his more dorky side. His cute ramblings and wide smiles as he's around you. The other two are mostly saved for his work. So depending on how involved you are in the actual gravel war you might end up not even knowing how terrifyingly creepy he can be.

His love language is time well spent. Gifts are nice sure, and he would never deny the comfort of hugs and kisses, but he's more into spending time with his lover. He loves the long conversations late at night and the comedy of inside jokes more than anything else.

Despite this, getting him away from his work to spend time on something else is a rather hard task. He's often so enamored and intrigued with whatever he's working on that he doesn't really want to do much else besides that.

That is when you learn that the only thing this medical man loves more than experimentation is some high-quality dark chocolate. One glimpse at the sweet treat and he's hooked.

You might just wanna ignore the fact that you are literally using treats to lure a grown man from his room and just focus on the fact that it's working

PDA isn't exactly something he cares about, nor does he really think about it. He's not going to get more or less touchy in front of people and he has absolutely no problem with you showing your affection in front of others.

Him? Jealous? Oh don't make him laugh! He'd sooner put Scouts head in his fridge than feel jealousy! (He saids as he's in the process of tearing the guts out of the person who dared to wink at you)

If you are up for it he will 10000% involve you in his experiments. He'll make sure not to do anything too extreme but small things couldn't hurt, right?

Overall excitable and sweet...in the 'I can't give you my heart because I kinda need it to live but would a stranger's heart be an okay replacement?' Kinda way.

Sniper

Okay look, man's super insecure. It might not be noticeable, and he sure as hell won't tell you, but he often doesn't feel right loving himself, let alone loving someone else. He's maybe been in like one romantic relationship. And it probably ended because he was too nervous to say much and put on a stoic face of silence that bored whoever he was dating.

You wanna date this man? You best go buy a pickaxe with how many walls you're going to have to get through first. You'd have to be a very close friend before he even considered anything more.

If you manage to meet that requirement though and he actually ends up catching feelings it can become pretty obvious. The one cool, calm and collected exterior he used didn't work once you knew him well enough and it only became more clear with his mumbled sentences and averted eyes that something was up.

Once he manages to land himself in a relationship though, whether that be by a few accidentally spoken words or you managing to push an answer out of him, it can become rather evident why he didn't want to tell you in the first place.

It's time to bust out the pickaxe again because it looks like you're going to have a few more walls to break through.

At the start of the relationship he's completely silent. It's rare to hear more than a few words from him. It'll take a lot of patience and time to make him comfortable and help him understand that there's no reason to be that way around you.

He isn't a very needy lover. He doesn't expect (or want) to spend every waking moment together. He likes his time alone and he will always respect yours. He's not a very big fan of overly clingy people, it overwhelms him.

You get to see a very different side of Sniper than really anyone else has seen, besides his parents that is. To others he's calculated. He's efficient, polite, and has a plan to kill anyone he meets. You, on the other hand, get to see the outcomes of someone who doesn't tend to express their emotions well. You see the breakdown after each fight he gets involved in and the almost obsession he has with each negative comment thrown his way. He'll act stoic in the moment, maybe throw back an insult or two, but you know he cares a lot for what everyone thinks of him.

Surprisingly his love language is touch. Now it is going to take a long time to get to this point, but once you do it's possibly one of the best parts of your relationship. He loves to hold you and be held by you, to intertwine your fingers with his, to bombard you with sweet kisses all over your face as you squirm beneath him. He SUPER touch-starved and really just wants a hug whenever he sees you.

PDA is a HUGE nope from him. Under no circumstances does he want to do anything in front of anyone. He was comfortable with you and you alone and would probably melt into a puddle of embarrassment if any of the people around you tried to force you two to kiss or hold hands. Luckily for him, most people probably wouldn't even be able to tell the two of you were in a relationship with how much he enforces that rule.

He has two modes when jealous. Fury and silent turmoil. Mode one is when someone advances on you and you want absolutely nothing to do with it or if they end up touching you. He'll most likely tell them to piss off and if they don't he isn't averse to beating a bitch.

Mode two however is the one you have to really worry about. It happens when he notices or perceives someone as flirting with you and you either don't notice it or brush it off as a joke. He kinda always has the fear that you'll leave him for someone better so it certainly doesn't help if he sees someone flirting and you seem okay with it.

He loves sharing hobbies with you and will be absolutely elated if you're more of an outdoorsy person. You two will take vacations all over the world to the most remote places just exploring and camping. It's one of his favorite things to do with you. The two of you will often spend weeks with only each other and if only for a while he can pretend you and him are the only people that exist. For him, that's about as comforting as it gets.

Overall he's a secret mess of a man in great need of someone despite what you may initially think. He's the epitome of 'don't touch me but also I need a hug' and 'people don't mean shit but also please don't leave"

[vs-redemption]

This piece was written for a collaboration event hosted by @sightoru and @anarchicmartyr . Please check out the masterlist to read and support the other writers participating in this event. Some pieces from the event contain adult content, so minors please proceed with caution!

Prompt: College AU Character: Atsumu Miya Word Count: 3,586 Warnings: None!

With a nod of satisfaction, you look around at your tiny new dorm room to admire your work. The space was small, but you’d made the most out of it. The twin sized mattress on the wooden frame was now fitted with a new set of sheets and comforter, the TV and mini fridge were set up and working, and all your clothes were hung up on hangers in the narrow closet by the door that led out to the main living area where your suitemates were already making themselves at home.

You try to keep an optimistic mindset as you hear them giggling and skipping up and down the hallway, gossiping about this and that with a playlist going in the background, surprisingly loud despite the small size of the Bluetooth speaker. You could already tell that you weren’t as much of an extrovert as the girls you’d be housing with, but it was your first year of college and your first time living away from home. You imagined it was the same situation for the rest of them, and you couldn’t blame them for taking advantage of the new taste of freedom.

After a moment of debating what to do next, you sit at your new desk and open up your laptop to log in to your campus email. Classes would be starting the next morning, and you wanted to make sure you were as prepared as possible. Maybe you’d already read each syllabus multiple times, but it couldn’t hurt to review the buildings on the map you’d printed out and covered with notes and highlighter just one more time.

A commotion from outside your room pulls your attention away a few seconds later and you hear a few male voices mix in with the music and giggles. The conversation was a little muffled, but you heard bits of what they were saying. Apparently they lived on the same floor and wanted to come introduce themselves. You let out a small laugh and shake your head, content with listening to the shenanigans from a safe distance until a particular question caught your ear.

“So, is this all of you?” one of the visitors asks, something in his voice making you apprehensive from the start.

“Um, no,” one of your suitemates answers. “There’s one more, but she’s in her room.”

“Great!” was the enthusiastic reply, “Let’s go say hi!”

You turn to look at your door nervously as the sound of footsteps comes closer. It wasn’t that you were opposed to meeting new people, it was just overwhelming when it was so many in a short period of time. It was only day one after all, and you were still trying to process being in a new place, sharing a living space with a group of girls who you’d just met a few hours before. It was all a bit draining and you just needed some time to adjust and recharge. You’re already shuffling towards your bedroom door though when the sound of the knock comes.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find when you pulled open your door, but it wasn’t the person standing in front of you. The first thing that registered in your mind was that his smile was far too bright and genuine for someone meeting a completely new face for the first time, and there was just as much raw emotion in his excited brown eyes. You could tell his hair was dyed since the blonde locks falling over his forehead didn’t match the shorter dark brown hair revealed by his undercut. The simple black t-shirt that he wore showed off arms that were just muscular enough to clue you in that he was probably some kind of athlete. Overall, he was everything you’d expect from a typical hot college guy, and you were sure you’d never been this close to anyone who had so much confidence in their presence before.

“Um, hi?” You greet him softly while going up on your toes to look over his shoulder, expecting the rest of his friends to be around but they were still in the living area chatting up your suitemates. It seemed your existence hadn’t been as interesting to them.

“My buddies and I live right down the hall, so we just came by to say hello,” his eyes soften a bit and he tilts his head, making you avert your gaze awkwardly. You were no match for the pure energy radiating off of him.

“Oh, that was nice,” you nod your head. Your ability to make small talk was usually better than this, but words seemed to be failing you at this inopportune time. “Thanks.” Confusion blooms in his eyes briefly before his lips tug up into a handsome smile, different from the toothy expression from before.

“My name’s Atsumu Miya!” he tells you, “What’s yours?”

For a moment, you can only stare at him, wondering how you’d even held the attention of a guy like this for as long as you had. Whether he truly cared to know or not, you mutter out your name while fiddling awkwardly with the handle on your door. There’s a beat of silence before a different male voice calls from the living room, almost in monotone and barely loud enough to hear.

“Leave her alone ‘Tsumu, you idiot. You’re bothering her.”

The comment was clearly extremely offensive, or maybe it was just the person who’d said it, but there was an instant reaction from the boy at your door. His relaxed face suddenly contorts in annoyance, his nose scrunching up childishly and his lip curling almost as if in disgust. It was such an extreme change in demeanor, you couldn’t help the small giggle that escapes your lips. Atsumu’s eyebrows perk up at the sound and his attention turns back to you in an instant.

“Oh,” you shy away a little, eyes darting toward where the comment had come from. “It’s fine.” And really, he wasn’t actually bothering you, but he didn’t seem to know how to proceed either from that point. “It was nice to meet you though,” you offer a smile and he seemed to understand that the conversation had come to a natural end. He nods politely, but still manages to hold your gaze for a moment as you slowly close your door.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The first couple weeks of college passed in a daze as you figured out your class schedule, learned where different places were on campus, and got to know your suitemates and their habits. You spent a decent amount of time with them, sometimes going to get meals together at the campus cafeteria or making plans to study for the classes you happened to have together. It was easy to get along with them, and they didn’t make you feel bad when you went to bed earlier than they did or retreated to your room if things got too rowdy. It was a comfortable friendship, and you appreciated that they didn’t try to force you to go out to any wild parties when you had classes the next morning. Honestly, you didn’t know how they could do that, but it was amusing to watch them have their fun.

“You’re just in time for the movie!”

You walk into your dorm after your last class of the week to find your suitemates huddled around the TV with a group of friends, which was a little unusual. They were almost always already out by the time you got back from the ridiculous Friday night, three hour lecture. Even you weren’t crazy enough to want to take a class like that, but it was required for your degree and only offered at that particular time. You look around the living room to see who was there. You recognized some of the faces, including the blonde guy who’d visited your room on the very first day. You hadn’t seen him since then, but he glances over his shoulder and gives you a wave, the smile on his face just as open and honest as you remembered.

“Come join us!” He offers happily.

“Uh, sure. Just a second.”

You head into your room to drop off the bag of books you’d been lugging around all day. What you actually wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep. Your classes had reached the point where the professors expected you to be comfortable enough to start having exams and writing papers, and you felt the work load starting to take a toll. Still, despite being on the more introverted side, you weren’t antisocial. Hanging out and watching a movie sounded like a nice way to relax after a particularly challenging week. So, after getting changed into a pair of sweats, you head back out to join the others, finding a free spot on the floor where you can lean against the side of the sofa without killing your back. The movie starts and at about five minutes in, you feel a tap on the top of your head. You tilt your chin up and see Atsumu smiling down at you.

“Hey,” it was the loudest whisper you’d ever heard and you let out a laugh. “Were you in class?”

“Yeah?” You still couldn’t wrap your mind around how unguarded his body language was when he didn’t know you at all, and you wondered if he was genuinely just super friendly and wanted you to feel included or if he was setting some kind of trap for you with those big handsome smiles.

“Wow, you’re pretty serious about your studies, huh?” He folds his arms over the armrest of the sofa, and you recoil a bit, wondering if that was an insult. Atsumu just lets out a sigh though and continues talking. “I’m already struggling to keep up with my classes. I have volleyball practice in the evenings three times a week and games on the weekends.”

“Shut up, will you? Your annoying voice is ruining the movie.” It must’ve been the same person that called him out before because Atsumu’s face pulls into the same comical expression, nose scrunched up and a look of disturbance in his brown eyes.

“What did you say?!” he narrows his eyes to glare at the person who you couldn’t see from where you were on the ground. “Your annoying voice is ruining my conversation!”

“For it to be a conversation, she’d have to want to talk back to you.” The retort came in a bored tone, but the swiftness of the delivery only riled the blond up even further.

“Well maybe if you hadn’t interrupted…” One of the decorative pillows that had come with the dorm room comes flying out of nowhere and smacks Atsumu right upside the head, cutting off whatever he was about to say.

“Just be quiet and watch the movie…”

You see Atsumu’s long fingers grip the pillow, obviously weighing the pros and cons of throwing it right back. You can’t believe the friends were bickering like children, but the reactions from everyone else made it seem like this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.

“Actually,” You reach up and tug the pillow from his hands. “Can I use that?” He releases his grip and watches you tuck it behind your back to use as extra support. His smile returns and he leans back over the armrest.

“Sorry about my brother,” He continues to talk, still not having learned his lesson. “Even though we’re identical twins he’s not nearly as fun as I am.”

“Atsumu!” It was a different voice this time, “Shut up!”

“Okay!” He finally gives in with a grimace, rolling his eyes in your direction before turning his attention to the movie. He was extremely obnoxious, but in an endearing way you supposed. Out of curiosity, you lean forward and instantly find the identical version of him sitting on the other end of the couch. He looked exactly the same, aside from his hair which was dyed an ashy grey color. The bickering made sense to you now though, knowing they were siblings. The rest of the movie passed quickly, and you excused yourself to head to bed as soon as it was finished, not being able to keep your eyes open a moment longer despite the others whose night was just getting started.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

With so many people on the same campus moving from building to building as they followed the same schedule every week, it made sense that you would run into and see the same people occasionally. A quick ‘hey’ or even just a simple nod seemed to be the generally accepted way in which to handle these situations by most people, but evidently Atsumu Miya was not most people.

“Good morning!” His tall form appeared next to you while you were standing in line for coffee one day. You’d just gotten out of one class and were in desperate need of caffeine before your next one.

“Morning,” you mumble back. When you turn your head, you’re met with the sight of him in an oversized hoodie and his blonde hair all tousled as if he’d just rolled out of bed. You can’t help but glance around you to see if anyone else was seeing him and wondering why he was talking to you.

“Don’t worry,” he misunderstands your wandering eyes. “Samu’s still sleeping so he can’t yell at me for talking to you.”

“That’s your brother’s name?” you ask and he nods his head in confirmation. You still weren’t sure what he wanted, but he continued to chat your ear off as you made your way to the front of the line. “What are you getting?” You ask him after you place your order.

“Oh no, I’m good.” He waves his hand, “I just wanted to say hi. Enjoy your next class!” You stare after him in disbelief as he walks away, unsure of what to make of what had just happened. Strangely enough, it hadn’t just been a random occurrence either. You seemed to run into Atsumu a lot over the next couple weeks, and he always stopped to chat for a while before going back to his day. He led the conversations mostly, ranting about his brother, classes, and volleyball club a bit before expressing a curiosity about your life since the previous encounter. Part of you felt that maybe he was just the type of person who needed to talk to everyone he meets to feel popular, but his genuine interest in you was making it hard to lock him into that category.

Little by little, Atsumu weaved himself into your routine until it was normal to stop and talk to him between classes at predicted times each day. You hadn’t even realized how used to the interactions you’d become until he didn’t show up while you were in line for coffee one day. At first, you couldn’t figure out why something felt off, but then you caught yourself looking around as if something was missing. When it dawned on you that the thing throwing off your normal coffee buying experience was Atsumu’s absence, you felt a little awkward. It wasn’t as if he was obligated to be there, but the slight feeling of disappointment followed you around for the rest of the day. You knew it was stupid, but worries kept popping up in your head that maybe he’d found someone else to talk to at that time, or that you had perhaps become too boring for him. By the time you got back to your dorm in the evening, you were sick of the drama you’d invented and tortured your own sanity with. You make sure to greet your suitemates before heading to your room to unload your books and maybe get started on some homework.

It was just about time for you to think about getting ready for bed when there’s a soft knock on your door. You assume it’s one of your suitemates until you hear the familiar voice whisper your name from the hallway, asking if you’re awake. The nervous butterflies that erupt in your stomach surprise you, and for a moment you consider pretending to be asleep to avoid whatever weird feelings you were starting to have for the overly friendly twin. You know you can’t just leave him out there though, so you shuffle over to the door and pull it open.

“Hey,” he has a weird guilty smile on his face, but you’re too busy processing the sight of him in a track jacket that hugged his upper body in the most distracting way and a pair of athletic shorts that showed off just how muscular his legs were. You weren’t used to seeing him dressed this way.

“Um, hi?” you drag your focus to his face, noticing for the first time that his hair was wet as if he’d just gotten out of the shower not too long before. “Did you just get out of practice?”

“Yeah,” he nods his head. “I tried to get here as soon as I could. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No,” a heat was raising to your cheeks as you tried to imagine what he needed from you so urgently.

“Oh, that’s good,” a boyish laugh escapes his lips. “I wanted to apologize for standing you up today.” When you just continue to stare at him he clarifies, “You know, at the coffee shop.”

“Oh,” you answer as if it hadn’t been on your mind the entire day, “Right.” There’s a short lag in the conversation, and Atsumu starts to bounce on his feet, looking nervous.

“Yeah, it’s just that my class this morning got canceled,” He offers up an explanation despite not being asked for one, “So the volleyball captain made me go and do a bunch of extra practice since I’m new to the team and stuff. I would’ve let you know, but I realized that I never got your number.”

Surely if Atsumu had only been talking to you for the sake of popularity, he wouldn’t be standing at your door looking like a sad puppy when he could’ve just waited until the next day to apologize. It made your head spin that he seemed to be so considerate of your feelings, even over something as miniscule as missing the couple minutes he usually spent with you while you waited in line for coffee. Putting a label on whatever he was to you was getting more and more difficult as time passed.

“That’s okay,” you tell him softly before offering a smile. “Thank you for letting me know. You didn’t have to rush over after practice though.”

The comment seemed to confuse the boy and he tilts his head. “But, I like you,” the confession comes from him so easily that you could’ve almost overlooked it completely. “And I missed seeing you today.” The butterflies from before seem to double in intensity and your find yourself struggling for words.

“I… missed you too,” it felt embarrassing to say out loud, but it wouldn’t be right not to tell him the truth when he was being so honest. Your awkward response is enough to bring that bright beaming smile back to his face and you see an eagerness bloom in his eyes.

“So, let me make it up to you?” He asks while pulling out his phone, “I don’t have a game this weekend, so I’ll be getting out of practice a little earlier than usual. Do you want to grab lunch with me after I’m done?”

“Yeah, sure.” You wished you didn’t sound so flustered, but you couldn’t help it. Even after all the exchanged conversations you’d had, Atsumu was still a bit overwhelming with the way he wore his heart on his sleeve. He hands you his phone so you can put your number in, explaining that you could work out the details of the date as the time got closer. Your heart flutters in your chest and you can hardly believe the excitement in his big brown eyes is for you.

“I should probably let you get to sleep now, huh?” He asks once he tucks his phone back into his jacket pocket. “Sorry for bugging you.”

“You’re not bugging me,” you assure him, feeling brave enough for a moment to meet his gaze. “I’m really looking forward to spending more time with you.” Atsumu’s eyes light up even more at the simple comment and he nods his head.

“Me too!” He bounces on the balls of his feet a couple more times before making up his mind to test his luck and lean in a bit. “Do you mind if I…” He doesn’t finish his thought, instead just taking the risk and pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before backing away sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” You promise and you see the nervous tension leave his shoulders. After a slightly awkward goodbye, Atsumu heads back to his own dorm and you hurry to finish getting ready for bed. Just as you get tucked under your covers and turn out the light, your phone chimes with a message from Atsumu to wish you goodnight. You text him back right away, wondering if you’d even be able to sleep with the way your mind and body buzzed from the unexpected visit. Slowly though, the adrenaline died down and you manage to drift off to sleep, the feeling of Atsumu’s feather light kiss still lingering on your cheek.

[kodzukenscorner]

Being Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, and Aoba Johsai’s manager

anon asked: hey!! i was wondering if u do a team x manager like it doesnt need to be romantic it can be platonic🤧 if u do then can i request Karasuno,Nekoma,Fukurodani and Aoba Johsai seeing their shy and adorable manager kitten sneezing,i jst find it very cute🥺 its fine if u dont do it honestly😅

anon asked: heyy!! i was wondering if u do a team x manager, it doesnt need to be romantic like it can be platonic😅 if u do then can i request Nekoma w a baby face manager😳 its fine if u dont do this requests tho😅

a/n: don’t worry babies, i take all kinds of requests and i am so soft for manager!reader headcanons 🥺

wc: 1,811

✶   ✶   ✶   ✶   ✶

Karasuno

Look, the entire team would 100% throw hands for you and literally lay their life on the line

Even the more stoic players like Kageyama and Tsukishima hold a lot of respect for you

The two of them aren’t as obvious about how they feel towards you, but they also wouldn’t ever let something bad happen to you

Tsukki doesn’t always open up to you but he also never complains when you ask him for help studying

In fact he’s offered it up himself a couple times, he knows how you can get a bit flustered and don’t always ask for help when necessary

Yamaguchi is always there to help lighten the mood and he’s one of the team members you’re most comfortable with

He’s just so easy to open up to

Kageyama always waits to walk home with you

Especially since you’re the one who stays with him and Hinata past practice time just to help them out

Hinata is usually the one who does most of the talking on the way home, though

The third years are ridiculously protective of you, Daichi in particular is the most reassuring one and keeps you out of any situations that make you uncomfortable

Suga is always there at your side when you need someone to help calm you down

And Asahi even steps out of his comfort zone to keep you feeling comfortable

And if someone from another team hits on you or messes with you in anyway? Tanaka and Noya will bite their heads off

Those two are your actual guard dogs but the second you tell them to stop or you get all flustered they will melt like puddles

The whole team truthfully dotes on you and would do anything to make sure you’re safe and healthy

So when they heard you sneeze they froze

Tanaka and Noya practically fainted because oh my god you’re so cute??

Suga was the first one to offer you a tissue while Yamaguchi was asking if you were okay

Kageyama and Hinata kept offering you snacks because they thought you were catching a cold or something

Daichi had to scold everyone to stop worrying so much but he also secretly asked if you were feeling alright and if you needed to go home

Meanwhile Noya was plotting on recording you every second of practice to try and catch your sneeze on camera because it was just too adorable 

The entire team walked you home that day

Your parents were very confused, but also grateful that they all cared so much about your wellbeing 

They’re a bunch of dorks who don’t want their precious manager getting sick anytime soon

Nekoma

Being a manager for Nekoma is honestly a really great decision

The team is very competent on their own so you don’t have to worry too much about them not practicing or getting injured

Even Kenma who hates exerting energy is easily persuaded by Kuroo

Kuroo and Yaku in particular seem to be very good at whipping everyone into shape and it really takes a load off your shoulders

You know you can always rely on them

But Kai is by far the one team member who always puts you at ease and you know you can turn to him for anything

You love Kuroo and Yaku truly, but the way they fawn over how cute you are and the way Kuroo seems to have a tendency to squish your cheeks can leave you a little embarrassed 

Kuroo always calls you ‘baby’ because of your baby face and people from other teams always think you’re dating

You don’t actually mind it since that means most people stay away from you but every now and again some poor soul tries to hit on you

But Yamamoto and Lev are always right behind you, ready to scare anyone off 

And yes it works every time

It’s a good thing they don’t know those two are just two huge dorks

But Fukunaga is always right there with the perfect comedic timing to remind Yamamoto that he can hardly talk to a girl without stuttering

That always makes everyone laugh and puts you right back at ease

Unsurprisingly Kenma is the one person on the team you have no problems opening up to 

He’s such a good listener and not overbearing like pretty much everyone else on the team

Honestly, everyone on the team just feels like the best of friends

Family didn’t seem like the right word since everyone was so happy and comfortable messing with each other 

But when something happens, like when Yaku got injured, everyone jumps into action

So you weren’t surprised when you let out a little sneeze and everyone froze

You thought they would start asking if you were feeling alright 

Yaku actually almost started crying because it was just too cute

Kuroo started laughing and said you sounded just like Kenma

Kai was the one who actually gave you a tissue while everyone else was too busy talking about how their manager was the cutest and they were gonna show you off at the next training camp

This team always manages to put a smile on your face

Fukurodani

Oh boyyyyyyy managing this team is a ride

Well honestly, it’s mostly Bokuto that can be a lot to handle at times, but you quickly fell into a rhythm

You’re definitely not as well adept as Akaashi is at handling Bokuto, but you’re getting the hang of it

You often rely on Akaashi to help you out when it comes to Bokuto so you do your best to be there for him when he needs it

Most of the team relies on Akaashi as their vice captain and that can be kind of stressful for him

So you’re always there to lend an ear and hear him out when he needs it

Bokuto definitely gets a little jealous but only because he wants your undivided attention too

But Konoha is easily the member you’re closest with on the team

As much as you enjoy Akaashi and Bokuto they can be a little odd at times, whereas Konoha is just the perfect balance of reliable and fun

You two joke around during practice a lot with Komi often joining in

It takes a bit for you to get Washio to open up just because he’s more on the quiet side

But he’s a lot like Akaashi in the sense that he takes care of you and makes sure you’re doing alright

Overall, they’re a really reliable team and you know you can turn to them if you need anything

You were a bit nervous to get to know everyone at first, especially knowing Bokuto and his loud demeanor but they were all right there to help you out and give you space when necessary 

Bokuto often brags about you to other teams which always leaves you feeling flushed and embarrassed 

Thankfully Konoha is right there to yell at him to stop and Akaashi is by your side comforting you

You never really have to worry about anyone approaching you or bothering you because someone on the team is always by your side

You’re really grateful to them for that since you can get overwhelmed surrounded by lots of volleyball players

The team is usually fairly normal around you, they don’t tease you much or playfully flirt with you

But for some reason, the first time they heard your tiny sneeze their hearts actually swelled up

Even the normally loud Bokuto got quiet and stared at you

He was the first one to shout about how cute that was and call you adorable and how they had to protect you no matter what

Your good friend Konoha was at a loss for words while Akaashi sheepishly handed you a tissue

You really didn’t expect to fluster the whole team with a just a simple sneeze, you didn’t think they would even hear it

But they are just counting their blessings for having the cutest manager in the world

Aoba Johsai

You were so nervous joining as manager since it was such a coveted position thanks to Oikawa

At first you had a hard time scolding people and telling them to focus on practice and stop messing around

But Iwaizumi was your savior, right there to help you out and encourage you

Every time you wanted to yell at Mad Dog for being reckless or at Kunimi for not practicing seriously but chickened out, Iwa was right there to help you out

He was definitely the person on the team you relied on the most and you were so grateful for him

He knows you’re more on the quiet side and does what he can to help you

Makki and Mattsun love to tease and mess with you but when you get really flustered Iwa is always there to save you

Surprisingly, Mad Dog follows suit and every time you seem uncomfortable and Iwa isn’t around to help out, he does the job for him

Oikawa teases too but in a more playful way that always leaves you with a smile on your face

You know he can be a lot to handle sometimes but you like spending time with him

Yahaba joins in from time to time and he’s surprisingly a lot more flirty than Oikawa

By far your favorites are Kindaichi and Kunimi

Kindaichi is just such a sweetheart and you know you can count on him to be there for you and Kunimi’s dry humor has you in stitches

They’re also just so incredibly easy to talk to, you never feel overwhelmed with them

You can handle yourself pretty well at games and even though the team can be a lot during practice, during real matches they’re like pros

The only time you ever really need their help is when Oikawa’s fan club becomes too much for you to handle

They’re all extremely protective of you in those situations

Mad Dog turns into an actual dog

They all think you’re just too precious to get hurt and protect you at all costs

So when they heard you let out the faintest sneeze the team was a bit torn

First they thought it was the cutest thing in the world

Oikawa was actually on the floor clutching his chest while Makki and Mattsun were pinching your cheeks

But they were also concerned about your health 

Watari was asking if you were feeling okay while Iwa handed you a tissue

After you assured everyone you were alright and it was nothing, they all started cooing and calling you the cutest little baby

You were very embarrassed but also oddly happy at having such a sweet team who all really liked you

Needless to say when you flashed them all a bright smile, they proceeded to have another meltdown 

[veeranger]

So you want to watch Precure!

Version 1.3

(Google Docs Vers & Changelog)

Maybe you follow people who like it, maybe you just love magical girls and never got into Precure, but there are over a dozen seasons and you don’t know how to jump in. Never fear, this masterpost is here to give you a rundown of Precure, and hopefully by the end you’ll have an idea of where you want to start. 

What Is Precure?

Precure (short for Pretty Cure) is a Toei Animation franchise started in 2004 and has been on the air nonstop since then. It’s a magical girl franchise, y’know like sailor moon or ojamajo doremi or other such shows. The main demographic is children so you don’t have to worry about any weird “fanservice” or panty shots or anything nasty like that, it’s very G rated. 

What Are The Shows About?

In a general sense, Precure is about a team of 2-6 middle school age magical girls fighting bad guys and giant monsters and saving the world on a weekly basis with pretty outfits and big flashy finishers and the power of love and friendship. Each season follows a pretty standard formula (toku fans should be pretty familiar with it for the most part), and each season is around 48-50 episodes long. 

In keeping with this toku-esque formula, most seasons will feature mid season additions to the cast, in the form of new precure heroes. For the sake of not spoiling these shows, these mid season cures will not be mentioned in our plot overviews unless they appear extremely early or something like that. Just know that almost every season will feature an additional cure joining the team later in the show. 

Additionally, every season has at least one movie, these days there’s usually two per season. Usually you’ll find the movies are a standalone self-contained romp, and a crossover movie with the preceding seasons, with a focus on the most recent 2-3 teams. These movies might as well exist in a continuity of their own, and have absolutely no bearing on the plot whatsoever, save for one except which I’ll mention when we get to that season. 

Why Should I Watch Precure?

Because it’s good. It’s a really stellar franchise with a ton of content and genuinely engaging characters and stories. Also this isn’t your mom’s magical girl show, these girls throw punches, and kicks, and big lasers. Precure is pretty well known for being extremely hands on with its combat compared to other magical girl shows, though don’t expect the same kind of fights you’d find in kamen rider or anything. Also a main draw for a lot of people is the amount of gay subtext in, frankly, every season. While there’s only one season with an explicitly confirmed gay relationship between two cures, every season has varying levels of subtext between cures, it’s pretty cool. We won’t discuss the subtext in every season overview but trust us, it’s in there. 

What Show Should I Start With?

It doesn’t actually matter which season you watch, every season is a new setting and with new characters and set in a new world (except for two sequel seasons i’ll explain later), so you’re free to watch whatever you want in any order! We’re going to spend the rest of this post talking about each season to give you, the beloved reader, a glimpse at what each season has to uniquely offer. Don’t worry, there’s no spoilers down there. 

Futari Wa Precure (We Are Pretty Cure) & Futari Wa Precure Max Heart

The original precure show that aired in 2004, and even received an english dub. Misumi Nagisa is a star lacrosse player living a normal life until one day a shooting star she wishes on turns out to be a fairy that careens right into her room, or rather, smacks her right in the face. The fairy, named Mepple, explains he comes from the Garden of Light, another world that’s been taken over by the evil Dark King and his Dark Zone in order to capture the Prism Stones, a number of heart shaped crystals that, if collected, could give Dark King the power to destroy not only the Garden of Light but also the Garden of Rainbows, Earth itself. Meanwhile, Yukishiro Honoka finds a box in her grandmother’s shed containing an item just like the one that smacked Nagisa in the face, and inside is the fairy Mipple, who explains the situation to Honoka. The two fairies, seeking to be reunited, drag Nagisa and Honoka along and the four of them end up meeting up, but are attacked by an emissary of the Dark Zone. Mepple and Mipple grant the confused duo the power to transform into the warriors of legend, Precure. As Cure Black and Cure White, Nagisa and Honoka manage to fight off their attacker and protect their new fairy partners. The girls are then more or less dragged into the battle against the Dark Zone, as the only hope for both Gardens, they fulfill their duty as legendary warriors despite their hesitations and desires to go back to being normal teenagers.

Futari Wa doesn’t exactly have any major themes to speak of, it’s just your standard magical girl vs evil bad guys kind of thing, forgive it for being the first season. What it does have to offer is the relationship between Nagisa and Honoka, as well as the action in fight scenes. The girls don’t start the season as best friends, in fact they barely even know each other’s names when they’re first flung together. It takes a few episodes and a major fight between the girls for them to really start opening up to each other, but soon enough they become inseparable and support each other in everything they do. It’s clear, especially near the end, that the girls cling to each other for support and strength in the face of the increasingly overwhelming odds they face as the Dark Zone gains strength. It’s very compelling to see their relationship deepen in the early season and see how deep their bonds truly go near the end. 

Futari Wa received a sequel show, Futari Wa Precure Max Heart, picking up the story where it left off in the first season’s finale. Honoka and Nagisa are still the main characters, and they’re still fighting the Dark Zone, but this time they’re joined by a mysterious girl named Hikari, who can transform into Shiny Luminous, not a precure but precure-ish. This time the girls are trying to recover the heart and soul of the Queen of the Garden of Light, before the Dark Zone can recover and destroy the queen in her weakened state. Also their precure costumes have changed slightly. 

The first season (that is to say, not max heart) is currently one of the few seasons available with official english subtitles on the streaming platform Crunchyroll

Futari Wa Precure Splash Star

Hyuuga Saki (Cure Bloom), a tomboy who loves playing softball, and Mishou Mai (Cure Egret), a quiet transfer student and aspiring artist, meet each other by chance one day under the Sky Tree, where they discover two creatures from the Land of Fountains named Flappy and Choppy. The two girls transform into the legendary Precure and are tasked with restoring Princess Filia and the Seven Holy Fountains, which were sapped of their power by the evil forces of Dark Fall.

Splash Star's main theme is the appreciation of nature. The main focus is on the girls rediscovering their relationships with their town and the nature and people in it. You get to meet a whole cast of characters in their community, who have a lot of heart and charm behind their writing and the show does a good job of getting you genuinely invested in their stories.

Unfortunately the romance in Splash Star isn’t much better than Futari Wa's (sorry to any Fujimura/Kazuya fans), but the main girls themselves are so engaging that it's easy to ignore. The villains are pretty goofy, but entertaining if you can accept that the show doesn’t take itself very seriously. There are two villains in the latter half of the season that really stand out, though. Without spoiling too much, I can promise you their character arcs will tear at your heartstrings in the best way.

If you've watched Futari wa Precure, Splash Star will probably feel familiar. Although it's the first "reboot" series in the franchise with completely new characters, Toei overall played it safe and Saki and Mai in many ways still feel like "Nagisa and Honoka 2.0". Splash Star is different in enough other ways to make the show stand on its own merits, but if you watch it immediately after Futari wa you might find yourself feeling some deja vu. Personally, I think it's interesting to see what Splash Star builds on and explores when compared to Futari wa, since it has many of the same themes and character archetypes but they play out quite differently.

Yes! Precure 5 & Yes! Precure 5 GoGo!

Nozomi is a cheerful, carefree girl, but she doesn’t have a dream. One day she meets a hot guy and finds a mysterious item called the Dream Collet, capable of granting any wish once all the fairies known as Pinkies are gathered inside it, in the school library. She discovers that the hot guy is actually a tanuki from Palmier Kingdom named Coco, and that the Kingdom has been destroyed by the Nightmare. Coco’s dream is to restore his kingdom using the Dream Collet, and Nozomi decides to make it hers as well. 

She’s joined by her jock friend Rin, Urara, an aspiring actress, Komachi, a writer, and the rich student council president Karen. Together they form Yes Sentai Fiveranger Yes Precure 5 and work together to prevent Nightmare from obtaining the Dream Collet before they can gather all the Pinkies. They also save Coco’s “”””””friend””””””” and fellow hot guy squirrel, Nuts, and he joins them as the second mascot/handsome love interest.

The theme of Yes is dreams and heterosexual furry romance. It pulls off the dreams part very nicely. The het furry romance is bad, mostly because Coco is Nozomi’s teacher at school and also her love interest. However, Coco and Nuts are fairly gay and if you look past the romance part they have very good dadly relationships with the rest of the team. 

Yespre, like Futari Wa, received a sequel show, Yes! Precure 5 GoGo!. After the defeat of Nightmare some time ago, a new faction called Eternal rises up and starts stealing treasures from various dimensions. When Eternal targets the Rose Pact belonging to the Cure Rose Garden, the precure are called back into action to fight against Eternal, with new cure outfits, a new fairy named Syrup, and a new cure-like teammate named Milky Rose.

Fresh Precure!

Fresh is sort of the defining series for modern Precure, introducing a lot of plot and thematic elements to the franchise that would be used repeatedly later on. 

A concert Momozono Love attends is attacked by a monster called a Nakewameke. When Love stands up to it, she is nearly killed, but is saved when she is chosen by a mysterious power to become Cure Peach. She is joined by Inori and Miki as Cure Pine and Cure Berry, and, together with the talking ferret from the Kingdom of Sweets, Tarte, they have to prevent Labyrinth, a grey world led by Mobius, from taking over the Parallel Worlds and transforming them into identical, machine-like dictatorships, and also figure out the secret behind the Magic Baby, Chiffon, that Tarte is entrusted with. 

Fresh’s themes are happiness and nature/technology and donuts. The donuts are important. Labyrinth operates by gathering misery; the Nakewameke are created from it and their function is to create more of it and fill the Sorrow Gauge. All the girls (and the mascot) have love interests and their familial relationships are explored a lot to bring out the general stakes and emphasise what they’re fighting for.

While Fresh is very strong in characters, plot, and thematics, its lack of budget is very apparent. It looks terrible. Fortunately, it isn’t that difficult to get used to the bad animation once you get into the show, although the lack of means tends to show up at inopportune moments, like new powerups.

Heartcatch Precure!

Featuring character designs and art direction from Ojamajo Doremi’s character designer Umakoshi Yoshihiko, and written by Ojamajo Doremi and Onegai My Melody writer Yamada Takashi, Heartcatch should look and feel familiar to fans of either franchise, especially Doremi.

After having a reoccurring dream about someone called Cure Moonlight being defeated trying to defend the “Great Heart Tree”, the shy and reserved Hanasaki Tsubomi moves in with her grandmother and ends up inheriting the will of Cure Moonlight and becomes the newest precure, Cure Blossom. Finding out her grandmother used to be the legendary Cure Flower, Tsubomi vows to protect the world as a precure and learn to change herself for the better. She’s joined by her new friend and the first person she saved as a precure, Kurumi Erika, a loud girl with a big heart who means well, but doesn’t hesitate to speak her mind. Erika becomes Cure Marine and the two become Heartcatch Precure, the newest precure in the long legacy of those who have stood up to the evil Dune, a mysterious invader who destroys planets and turns them into lifeless deserts. Heartcatch Precure fights against Dune’s minions: the mask wearing Professor Sabaku, his Desert Apostles, and the mysterious Dark Precure. Along the way they meet the former Cure Moonlight, now stripped of her power, and try to help her cope with her defeat.

Heartcatch Precure’s main theme is flowers and flower language. Everyone has a “heart flower” that the Desert Apostles take and use to create their monsters every week. As an interesting result of this, the monster of the week will be the main character in the plot of the week and often their big monster form will vent about their issues which will usually lead to a resolution when the precure return them to their regular bodies. Heartcatch also has a very nice backstory and lore to it. Unlike most iterations of precure, the Heartcatch girls are not the first precure to exist in their world, there are dozens maybe hundreds of precure that came before them, fighting against Dune and his forces for hundreds of years. It adds a lot to the narrative in small ways, especially later on in the season. Also the fight scenes are extremely excellent, especially when Moonlight is involved. 

Suite Precure♪

The musical paradise of Major Land falls under siege by the forces of Minor Land, led by King Mephisto. His goal is to steal the living notes of the “Melody of Happiness” and remake them into the “Melody of Sorrow”, throwing the world into a permanent depressive state. As a last resort, Queen Aphrodite scatters the notes into the human world and tasks Hummy, the cat-like fairy, and the Fairy Tones, to find the notes before the forces of Minor Lands can capture them. In the human world, Hummy meets Hojo Hibiki and Minamino Kanade, two girls who were best friends as children, but drifted apart as teenagers because of their tendency to bicker with each other. The two find themselves thrown together again by fate and transform into Cure Melody and Cure Rhythm to protect the things they hold dear. Not long after, the two rekindle their relationship and become closer than before, despite their bickering. Soon the girls run into the mysterious Cure Muse, a girl who appears to be a precure like them, but hides her face with a mask and refuses to join in their fight, claiming to be neither friend nor enemy. Melody and Rhythm battle against Minor Land and the giant Negatones they create from the notes they gather, as well as Siren, another cat-like fairy who used to be Hummy’s best friend before turning to evil and joining Minor Land. 

Suite Precure’s main theme is music, and it is a very encompassing theme. Hibiki and Kanade bond over their piano practice, the town they live in celebrates music frequently and is aesthetically music themed, and their powers take the form of musical instruments. Harmony is also a large theme for the two girls. Their precure power increases as they harmonize with each other, and the early season is very much about them learning to harmonize with each other. Suite also features several extremely well done mystery arcs, about the identity of Cure Muse, and various other things that I can’t very well talk about without risking spoiling things myself. If you manage to go into Suite not knowing anything consider yourself extremely lucky and be super sure not to get spoiled. The show staff went to great lengths to hide certain things, including leaking fake cure designs, and creating a second version of the second dance ending to further mask the identity of Cure Muse until her true reveal. 

Also something to note, usually precure movies have nothing to do with the plot of the show itself and can be watched whenever but the Suite movie is best enjoyed right after the arc revealing Cure Muse’s identity is concluded, it has a nice resolution to plot elements in that arc and sets the stage for the last few arcs of the show, so be sure to watch it then.

Smile Precure!

Written by Kamen Rider Kabuto head writer Yonemura Shoji, Smile Precure is the second season to feature a 5 girl team after Yes! Precure 5 Gogo!. Running late to her first day of school, resident happy-go-lucky klutz Hoshizora Miyuki runs face first into a small creature called Candy, a fairy from a place called Märchenland. The two are attacked by an anthropomorphic wolf named Wolfrun, and Miyuki transforms into Cure Happy to fight against Wolfrun and the big clown faced monster he summons called an Akanbe. After Candy explains that the legends say there are five precure, Miyuki recruits four new friends: the hot blooded Akane (Cure Sunny), shy artist Yayoi (Cure Peace), responsible older sister Nao (Cure March), and refined student council vice-president Reika (Cure Beauty). The five of them become Smile Precure and fight against Wolfrun and his allies in the Bad End Kingdom, who attempt to revive the slumbering Pierrot by trying to put the world in a “Bad End”. 

Smile Precure’s main theme is fairy tales, in a general sense. The Bad End trio are based off of the big bad wolf (Wolfrun), the oni from Momotaro (Akaoni), and the witch from Snow White (Majorina), and Miyuki herself is utterly captivated by fairy tales. The secondary theme is happiness, and the happy go lucky tone of the series often turns on its head during serious arcs to deliver extremely powerful emotional moments. Smile Precure is light on plot, and most episodes are an ultra happy experience, but the show knows how to get serious when it needs to and Smile is exceedingly competent at pulling off drama when the time comes. Smile knows how to get you invested in its characters and use that to pull on your heartstrings during the big moments. The last 10 episodes of the show are the absolute pinnacle of the show’s emotional drama, and each cure gets her own episode for closure before the finale sets in and emotionally destroys you. Also you get to play rock paper scissors with Cure Peace during her roll call so that’s always fun.

Doki Doki! Precure

Doki opens with Trump Kingdom’s destruction by the Selfishness as Cure Sword looks on, helpless. Switching to our world and brighter topics, we meet Aida Mana, Student Council President of Oogai Middle School, whose dream is to become the Prime Minister of Japan. Whenever Mana sees someone in trouble, she’ll help them out, so when a monster attacks the city, Mana does the obvious and tries to stop it. And when, chosen by the fairy Charuru (Charles? Cheryle? Cherry?) to become a Precure and defend the world, she meets Cure Sword, she has to befriend her and help her restore Trump Kingdom and find her happiness. 

Mana (Cure Heart) is joined by Rikka (Cure Diamond), her studious companion and supporter, and also the immeasurably powerful and rich (in that order) Alice (Cure Rosetta). Together they have to unravel the mystery of the man who gave them their transformation items, the missing princess of Trump Kingdom, the strange, evil girl called Regina, and Ai, the chaotic neutral baby who hatches out of an egg. 

Dokipre’s theme is love and selflessness. It also has Deep Lore, a lot of which is established in extra-series material. The show does try to explore concepts like past cures and manages a very nice repeating pattern effect with the plot, in terms of past and future happenings. There’s a lot of foreshadowing. Compared to most Precure seasons it’s very plot-heavy and even the filler usually ends up being plot-relevant. 

Happiness Charge Precure!

The 10th anniversary of Precure! The Phantom Empire is spreading across the world, and Precure are rising up all over the globe to fight them off. In Japan there are two active cures, Cure Fortune, strong and capable, and Cure Princess, scared and unsure of herself. As Cure Princess, Shirayuki Hime, struggles desperately to do her duty as precure, Cure Fortune refuses to work with her for reasons Hime doesn’t fully understand. Realizing her only hope is to find a partner to work with, Hime bumps into Aino Megumi, a super friendly girl who has a tendency to drop everything and help others any time she sees someone in need. Megumi becomes Cure Lovely, and bolstering Hime’s confidence, the two of them become Happiness Charge Precure, tasked with protecting Japan from Queen Mirage and her Phantom Empire. The two are joined by Cure Honey, and eventually Cure Fortune, and the four of them receive support from Blue, the God of Planet Earth. As the girls continue to fight and defend Japan, they are assaulted by Phantom, the ruthless Precure Hunter who has defeated and trapped countless Precure in his Precure Graveyard, and the Oresky Trio, the Phantom Empire generals who oversee the invasion of Japan. 

Happiness Charge Precure’s themes are romance and happiness. There are several arcs dedicated to the budding romances of the cures, and the backstory of the show is heavily tied to romance. Happiness might as well be Megumi’s middle name, she makes it her business to spread happiness to as many people as she can, and takes every chance she can to help others. Happiness Charge is also the first season to have form changes for the precure, each cure has a small selection of forms they can change to for different big attacks, and this concept would later be expanded and used as a core concept in Maho Girls Precure. Like Heartcatch before it, Happiness Charge exists in a world where multiple precure exist, but unlike Heartcatch all those precure exist at the same time in the present day. Other precure teams make cameos every so often and the concept creates a great world in which the whole planet is being protected by teenage girls with superpowers, creating a wonderful sense of scale that really makes the big victories of Happiness Charge Precure feel even bigger. 

Go! Princess Precure

The first precure series to take place at a boarding school! Years ago, a young girl named Haruno Haruka meets a very royal looking person named Kanata who gives her a Dress-Up Key, a big key shaped like a dress. A teenager now, Haruka starts attending Noble Academy, a prestigious boarding school, all the while holding tight to her dream of becoming a true princess, in a quasi-literal sense. Not long after starting the school year, Haruka meets Pafu and Aroma, two fairies from the Hope Kingdom desperate to revive the legendary precure to fight back against Dyspear and her minions who steal dreams to create their giant Zetsuborgs. Realizing what her Dress-Up Key is meant for, Haruka uses it and the Princess Perfume to become Cure Flora. Together with student council president Kaido Minami (Cure Mermaid), and Amanogawa Kirara (Cure Twinkle) a fashion model with huge aspirations, they become the new Princess Precure, tasked with learning to become true princesses along with protecting the Dress-Up Keys from Dyspear’s forces. 

Go! Princess Precure’s main themes are princesses (duh) and dreams. Dreams are a driving force behind all of the cures, and most of the plot of the week characters. Dyspear steals dreams to make monsters, and the precure fight to return those dreams. Characters follow their dreams with conviction, pride, and full commitment. This is also where the princess theme intersects, since it’s Haruka’s dream to become a true princess. One should note that princess is used sort of liberally in this series, it’s not that Haruka wants to somehow become someone of noble birth or have political power, she just wants to be strong, kind, and beautiful, the traits of a true princess in Princess Precure’s own terms. Also she wants to wear pretty dresses and such but who can blame her really. 

Mahou Tsukai Precure! (Maho Girls Precure!)

Quite literally putting the magic in magical girls for the first time in the franchise, Mahou Tsukai Precure was the first season to have its cures be actual magicians. Izumi Riko lives in the magical world, a world where magic is real and she attends a magical academy to hone her craft. She leaves the magical world to travel to the “non-magic” world, to search for a legendary item called the Linkle Stone Emerald. In the non-magic world she ends up catching the attention of another girl, Asahina Mirai, who sees her using magic. After trying to show off some magic and messing it up, Riko is attacked by Batty, a servant of the dark wizard Dokurokushe, who is seeking the Linkle Stone Emerald as well. As fate would have it, both Mirai and Riko carry stones that turn out to be the Linkle Stones Diamond, and the two of them use them to become Cure Miracle and Cure Magical, the legendary Mahou Tsukai Precure. Additionally, the power of the Linkle Stones grants life to Mirai’s lifelong companion, a teddy bear named Mofurun. Having discovered the world of magic and become a precure, Mirai is invited to spend time in the magical world learning magic alongside Riko, before the two, joined by Mofurun and a baby fairy named Ha, return to the non-magical world to search for the Emerald and protect it from Dokurokushe and his minions.

Mahou Tsukai Precure’s main themes are bonds and separation. It’s strengths lie in how it shows the relationship between Mirai and Riko. The show takes its time building their relationship in the first dozen or so episodes of their adventures in the magic world, highlighting their similarities and differences as they grow closer and learn to live with each other and fight as precure together. Well before the halfway mark it’s clear how strong their bond is and how deeply they care for each other, and the lengths they would go to for one another. Mahou Tsukai is an emotional ride in so many ways, every emotional moment hits its mark and the more you get attached to the characters the more the show will hit harder and harder with its moments, both sad and happy. Even side characters get satisfying and emotional conclusions to their storylines outside of the episodes they’re introduced in, it’s all wonderfully crafted.

KiraKira☆Precure A La Mode

Another return to the five cure format, Kirapre is also the second season to feature a sixth team member after Yes! Precure 5 Gogo!, as well as the second season to feature high school age precure after Heartcatch Precure. Usami Ichika is in her second year of middle school and loves sweets, especially making sweets. One day a hungry fairy named Pekorin finds her way into Ichika’s kitchen, and after being fed teaches Ichika about Kirakiraru, an energy source that exists in all sweets, and something that can be stolen and used for evil, leaving the sweets gray and tasteless. Utilizing the power of kirakraru in the shortcake she baked for her mother, Ichika becomes Cure Whip, one of the legendary patissiers, Precure. One by one other precure appear, the smart but shy Arisugawa Himari (Cure Custard), the rock band headliner Tategami Aoi (Cure Gelato), the fickle catlike Kotozume Yukari (Cure Macaron), and the responsible and helpful Kenjou Akira (Cure Chocolat). The five of them fight against the evils of Noir and those he has influenced: Julio, the mysterious masked boy who runs “experiments'' using kirakiraru, and Bibury, a mean spirited girl who uses her talking doll to steal kirakiraru and create monsters.

Kirapre’s main motifs are sweets and animals, and it has a pretty general togetherness and happiness theme going on, the standard precure stuff, mostly viewed through the lense of sweets and sweets-making. All the precure work as patissiers for one reason or another and it’s the main way the team bonds early on. The team, as well as the people of their small town, love sweets as a part of their culture and sweets maintain an important role as the emotional tie that binds most things together in the story. Overall Kirapre is a wonderful show with a great cast on both sides of the conflict, and a lot of care has been put into the show to make sure characters have their moments to interact with each other as well as have their own stories , even on a team of six every precure gets more than enough time to shine on her own. Kirapre is at it’s best when it takes two girls and puts them together for an episode, letting each unique dynamic play out in a fun and satisfying way. Kirapre is also noteworthy for the almost inarguably canonical relationship between two of the cures. It's not exactly explicit and it does leave something to be desired, since this is a Toei children's show, but there’s not really any other way to read the evolution of their relationship or their duet song, so I’m more than satisfied calling it canon.

This season is currently one of the few seasons available with official english subtitles on the streaming platform Crunchyroll 

HUGtto! Precure

Precure’s 15th anniversary! This season is in many ways a celebration of all things Precure, bringing together a lot of familiar elements from past shows into one. Hugtto! is another five cure season whose main themes are destiny and future. Nono Hana (Cure Yell) is a thirteen-year-old girl whose dream is to be a "cool and stylish woman," although she worries that others see her as childish. One day, a hamster named Harryham Harry and a magical baby named Hugtan fall out of the sky into Hana's house. They're being chased from the future by an evil organization called Criasu Corporation, who are trying to use Hugtan's power to freeze time forever. Hana makes friends with two of her classmates: the responsible class representative Yakushiji Saaya (Cure Ange) and the reclusive ex-figure skater Kagayaki Homare (Cure Etoile), and together they fight Criasu while taking care of Hugtan and figuring out the many mysteries surrounding her. Expect some light sc-fi elements and an emphasis on modern technology/social media.

Hugtto! explores its themes primarily through the lenses of childcare and the workplace, giving us a look at how each girl comes to terms with the transition from childhood to adulthood. This season does a good job of letting each member of the team shine; you spend several episodes with each girl (or duo of girls) and there's a real sense of a complete character arc for all of them. The romance aspect is, unfortunately, pretty bad: there’s a return of hetero furry romance between Harry and Homare, and Hana’s love interest exhibits some really creepy behavior towards her. There’s uncomfortable age gaps in both of these relationships too so it’s a just a bit…. Yikes. Thankfully, it’s fairly easy to ignore like past seasons, but a warning for it nonetheless.

Something that makes this season stand out is its LGBT subtext; there's a TON of it even compared to the normal amount that Precure is known for. Without giving away too much, two of the cures this season are heavily coded as lesbians (though not with each other per se), and there's a subplot concerning a side character who is pretty explicitly (well, as explicit as Toei dares to be) a gender non-conforming man/nonbinary person in love with another man, and it's all very wholesome and presented in a positive light. Again, this is Toei, so don't expect anything too radical, but I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised with how Hugpre handles it.

Finally I'll just say that while Hugpre is a fantastic season on its own, I would personally recommend waiting to watch it after you've seen some other seasons (notably Futari wa). It's not required, but since Hugpre is an anniversary season, there are a few episodes (especially near the end) that will really hit different if you have an emotional connection to the franchise already. Ultimately though this is a fairly minor part of the show, so watching this season first won’t ruin it or anything like that, it’s just something to keep in mind.

Star☆Twinkle Precure

Precure… in space! Our protagonist, Hoshina Hikaru (Cure Star) loves space and cryptids, to the point of drawing her own constellations. One of her constellations is an adorable alien puffball, who warps into Hikaru’s room almost immediately after she draws it. The puffball quickly befriends Hikaru, who names her Fuwa. They are later joined by Prunce, the team dad friend/alien mascot, and Lala (Cure Milky), a humanoid alien who is an adult in her own culture. After our initial duo gets off to a bit of a rocky start, they are joined by the student council president, Kaguya Madoka  (Cure Selene) and a biracial upperclassman who is considered to be the “sun” of the school, Amamiya Elena (Cure Soleil). Together, they explore the universe and befriend all sorts of aliens, while also defending them from the Notraiders, who want to rid the universe of all imagination. On top of that, the universe is dying and the cures need to find the 12 astrologically themed Star Pens to save it and the 12 Star Princesses. This series is notable for attempting to break the “monster of the week” format, instead making it a “fight of the week”.

The major themes of Star Twinkle are space, imagination, and maturity. The cures have to explore the universe to find the Star Pens, and in doing so, visit a bunch of different planets. About half the series is spent on Earth, but the world still feels developed! Honestly speaking, the theme of imagination is forgotten pretty quickly and I’d refer to it more as free will. The theme of maturity is where Star Twinkle really shines. All of the cures have had to grow up too fast in some way, and the series is partially about just allowing them to goof off. Lala is considered an adult on her planet, and this plot point is treated realistically. Well, as realistically as it can be. This is one series I’d recommend avoiding spoilers like the plague for, because part of the fun is in how the plot twists are pulled off. Also Star Twinkle is notable for featuring the first ever dark skinned precure, as Elena is half-hispanic. 

Healin’ Good Precure

The currently airing Precure season, as of this writing. The Byogens seek to revive their king by inflicting viruses on Earth, the Healing Garden sends three medical interns to combat them. These interns, fairies named Rabirin, Pegitan, and Nyatoran, along with a baby fairy princess named Latte, journey to Earth to find partners to become Precure. They end up meeting Hanadera Nodoka, a kindhearted girl who was hospitalized for most of her young childhood. After Nodoka risks her life to protect Latte, Rabirin chooses her to become Cure Grace. Joined by older sister type Sawaizumi Chiyu (Cure Fontaine) and the outgoing Hiramitsu Hinata (Cure Sparkle), they form Healin’ Good Precure, and defend their friends and the Earth from the Byogen’s newest wave of attacks. 

This season is currently one of the few seasons available with official english subtitles on the streaming platform Crunchyroll.

Where To Watch Precure Online

Unfortunately for us, Precure isn’t really a thing in the west. There was a dub of Futari Wa back in the early 2000’s and Smile and Doki both got “adapted” into Glitter Force over on netflix (I don’t really recommend checking those out), but really Precure just doesn’t exist over here.

However, as mentioned above, there are currently three seasons avalible for streaming on crunchyroll. The original Futari Wa Precure, Kira Kira Precure A La Mode, and the current season, Healin’ Good Precure.

Beyond these isolated examples of official releases, you can really only watch precure online on streaming sites or through torrents. You can find precure pretty much on any major anime streaming site, kissanime, gogoanime, the works. You can also try your luck torrenting the seasons, i’ve found that pretty much every season has a working torrent you can find on sites like nyaa.si or the like. For more recent seasons you should have little difficulty getting torrents, and last time i checked every season was on one of the aforementioned streaming sites. What I’m saying really is there’s no single place to find precure, but it’s not impossible to find for sure.

Thanks for reading this post, I hope you decide to check out precure and I really hope you end up loving it.Thanks to my wonderful friend @meltorights​ for writing the sections on Yespre, Fresh, and Dokipre, to @wonderlilane​ for writing the sections on Splash Star and Huggto, and @cure-cosmo​ for writing the segment on Starpre. 

If you have questions feel free to drop me an ask I’d be happy to help. I will literally go out of my way to help you if it means getting someone new into precure so please do not hesitate by any means. 

[tetsuroyaoyaoya]

A Crow Without Wings

tsukishima kei x reader - part five

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For the first time this entire weekend, you thought the team was actually playing pretty well. With the tight schedule the coaches had created for the matches, you hadn’t really had much time to help them practice, but you had given them as much advice as you could and left the rest to them.

“Bring it!” Hinata scored yet again, bringing their score into double digits. From what Kiyoko had filled you in on last night, Ubugawa was a solid team, and they were pretty strong, just like the rest of the teams at the camp, so it was nice to see that the boys were able to hold their own against them.

Their performance in this match had been impressively consistent, and you were pleasantly surprised by how well they managed to keep themselves together, even if there was an ever-increasing list of things they needed to work on. Their defence was extremely lacking, their range of attacks needed some more variety, the first years’ receives were absolutely atrocious, and their overall teamwork and communication was practically non-existent.

You had a lot of hope for them, though. They could – and would – get better, they just needed a little bit of help and encouragement.

A time out was called, and the team gathered in to stand around the coach and you.

“All right! Our opponents still aren’t able to counter your deviant fast attack, so keep on using it!”

“Right!” Hinata seemed a lot less enthusiastic than he usually was this far into a game, and you pursed your lips. He had been excited about the camp, yet he didn’t really seem to be enjoying it all too much.

“Make sure not to rely on it too much, though. If the other teams get used to it, then you can’t use it as an out when you end up in a tight spot.” Ukai nodded in agreement with you, as did the two players as they were handed their water bottles by Kiyoko.

During their quick break, your gaze drifted around the gym, observing the other teams in attendance. Your eyes settled on Fukurodani’s match against Nekoma. Hinata had told you about the tall first year who was apparently a new addition to the team. He stood out immediately among the other players, especially near their shorter setter. He called for a toss and you followed his movements as he ran off to the side, presumably going for a broader attack.

Even Bokuto wasn’t fast enough for him, although, even if he tried, you doubted he would have been able to block it fully. The boy’s reach was high just standing, and even higher when he jumped. His spike seemed decent as well. Clearly, whether he had intended it or not, he was using his arm as more of a whip than what most spikers used. It was clever, you admit; it made it harder to distinguish where the player was directing the ball, but it had its drawbacks, as it made it more difficult to control the ball when using more powerful hits.

He ball landed neatly in the back corner of the court with a fair amount of speed and you couldn’t lie, you were slightly impressed. It seemed like all of the first years this year were all special in some way, even on other teams. But then again, you had been the same.

“Sorry for being rude. I overstepped my boundaries.” You chucked at the apology. In a way, this spiker reminded you of Hinata; over-excitable and uncontrollable.

“And I keep telling you not to worry about it. I’m more disturbed that you suddenly asked for a broad jump set up.”

“So that thing just now is called a broad jump?” Definitely just like Hinata. Despite not having seen him play very much, you could tell that he lacked technique. Like your own middle blocker, he must have an amazing spike but no basic skills or experience.

“That broad jump was spur of the moment?” Looking at your brother through your peripheral, you hummed.

“Some people don’t need to meticulously plan every attack. Instincts are there for a reason.” You turned fully, ushering them to get ready to get back in the game.

“He’s got a good hit. He has potential.”

“Potential? Rei, he’s amazing!” Poking the smaller boy, you scowled at him.

“You can’t be amazing if you don’t have basic skills. This is why I tell you to practice everything, not just your spikes.” You flicked him on the forehead, and he whined, confused as to how this had turned into a lecture.

Yeah, they really needed work.

~~~

“Our first game today is with Nekoma. How did we do yesterday?” Kiyoko flicked through her notes, looking through the team’s results from previous games.

“This will be our third set overall with Nekoma. Yesterday we had two sets against them and lost both; 17-25 and 19-25.” You winced slightly. They weren’t good scores compared to what you knew they could do.

“If we calm down, we should be able to give them a good challenge.” There was no doubt of that, especially seen as Hinata and your brother were in play now. Said boys were given a quick few words of encouragement from the coach before the whistle blew and the game began. You caught Hinata’s gaze before the first serve went up and bit your lip worriedly. His eyes were blazing, and it made you uneasy.

“This doesn’t look good.” You mumbled to the coach as you all sat next to the court.

“What do you mean?” Sighing, you kept your eyes on the number ten. He had been oddly quiet the entire morning, and you couldn’t figure out what he had running through his head.

“I’m worried about Hinata.” Ukai frowned, not having noticed anything particularly out of the ordinary, but he was concerned about your words none the less.

The first point of the game went to Karasuno pretty quickly, the deviant quick working its magic as it usually did. However, even if he was still just out of reach, that tall first year Nekoma had was definitely catching up to it, and fast. Just a bit further, and he’d get a hand on it.

And he did.

Because the next time Hinata went in for the spike, although he had jumped to the side abruptly to specifically avoid being blocked, he was still stopped. Noya dove to save the ball, but it was too late, and the point went to Nekoma. Hinata was shocked, of course, as were the rest of the team. The blockers had caught up to the attack within two points. That had to hit Hinata’s state of mind pretty hard.

“Well, Nekoma’s always been pretty good at reacting to that quick attack.” A well of anxiety had rooted itself in the pit of your stomach, and the look that Hinata had on his face wasn’t exactly helping. You wondered what exactly was going on in that head of his.

From there on it, the match quickly changed pace, with Hinata’s decoys not working and Nekoma scoring more points.

“He’s read-blocking.” The tall boy was no longer following Hinata, but the ball, and his fast reactions were useful in blocking all of Karasuno’s attack.

“Are you sure?” Running a hand over your face, you noticed Tobio getting frustrated now.

“The thing is, I don’t even think he knows what read-blocking is. I think the setter is telling him how to move and he’s doing it decently. His height helps.” The coach agreed, calling a time out.

“Now, calm down. They started off on guard about the fast attacks. For the time being, let’s have Azumane and Tanaka focus on attacking from the left.” You noticed Sugawara watching Hinata carefully as well, so at least you weren’t the only one who had noticed his behaviour. Everyone knew that Hinata wanted to hit every spike that he could, and score as much as possible. If there really was something wrong like you thought there was, this could potentially end very badly.

The game resumed and Nekoma came off with a strong attack, which was luckily received by Tobio. With him now unable to set, Daichi jumped forward, sending the ball over to the left for Asahi to hit.

“Sorry, it’s a bit short!” The ace jumped for it, but you heard someone gasp. It wasn’t hard to see why.

Hinata had jumped for the ball as well.

You knew this scenario. It was so familiar. It was a funny thing; greed. Sometimes it was justified, but it was an emotion that was quick to consume a person. It was always prevalent in their eyes, unable to be concealed. It look so similar to determination that it often wasn’t clear until the very last second; until it was too late.

The two players collided, and you let out a yell.

The notebook you were using to take notes fell to the floor as you rushed forward, everyone else on the court frozen in shock.

“Hinata!” Crouching down beside him, you looked him over and made sure that he wasn’t injured. Your heart was stuck in your throat and you couldn’t stop your hands from trembling. He was soon back on his feet, though, apologising profusely.

“I was focused on the ball! I’m sorry!” You let out a breath of relief, holding your head in your hands. The panic was overwhelming you. Walking off of the court, you passed the bench and made your way to the doors, no one trying to stop you as you left the gym.

“Make sure to look around you, punk! Why do you think we call things out, you blockhead?”

“Moron! Hinata, you moron!”

Their shouts echoed through the room, and you could still hear them as you stepped out into the cool air. That was close. One wrong and Hinata could have injured, just like you had been. The situation had been too similar. It was almost exactly the same. It was just lucky that Hinata was smaller than you, and so was knocked back farther.

Your back hit the wall of the gym just next to the door and allowed yourself to slide down it, coming down to sit on the concrete. Letting your mind wander, you kept you focus on rhythm of the balls hitting the court floor to keep grounded.

Soon enough, you heard footsteps approach, coming to a stop as they reached the threshold between the inside and out. Closing your eyes, you tipped your head backwards, letting it rest on the wall behind you.

“Go back inside. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” That didn’t sound like anyone from Karasuno.

Opening your eyes slowly, you looked up to see the captain of the Nekoma team towering over you, staring down at you with a smile on his face.

“Kuroo?”

“I saw you rush out, but it’s been a while since.” He walked around you, coming to stand at your other side, and sliding down the wall just as you had done earlier to join you on the floor.

“So, I guess the match is over then?” He nodded, his gaze straying away from you as he turned his head to look out at the grass hill in front of the both you.

“Are you really fine?” Letting the silence settle in between you for a second as you though it over, you frowned as you found that you couldn’t give him an exact answer.

“I don’t know.” He hummed.

“Kuroo?” Turning his head towards you, he watched as you pulled your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arm around them and resting your chin on your knees.

“Have you ever hit a wall?”

“Like, with my hand? Because, yeah. Too many times.” Giggling, you nudged his shoulder with your own, causing him to laugh with you.

“Mentally? Not really. But I know Kenma struggles a lot.”

“Kenma?”

“Our setter.” Ah, Hinata’s friend.

“How does he cope?” He thought it over for a moment.

“Video games, mostly. It helps train his mind so he can think quicker, he says. But I don’t really think there’s a set way to get over it. I think you need to figure that out for yourself.” Knowing he was right, you sighed, not even knowing where to begin looking for something that could help you overcome this problem.

“I’m sure the nation’s ace can figure something out.” Smiling sadly at the old nickname, you took your chin off of your knees and looked up at the sky, watching the clouds.

“I’m not an ace anymore, Kuroo.” You had barely even been an ace in the first place.

“But it took you years to get to that point. Surely you learnt some things along the way. If anyone can whip that team into shape, it’s you.” Hinata being so close to getting injured had spooked you, and the possibility of watching something like that happening again mad your skin prickle. But maybe – just maybe – if you taught them a few things and helped them improve their teamwork, you might be able to prevent it happening. It might take them a while, but it might just work.

“I think I’m going to be okay.” Smiling at Kuroo, he smiled back. All of a sudden, he jumped up from where you were both sat and held a hand out to you to help you up from the ground. You took it, and he pulled you up, your legs tingling from being sat for so long. Brushing yourself down to make sure that you weren’t covered in dirt, you gestured for Kuroo to walk inside with you.

This wasn’t going to set you back; not after all of the progress you had made.

~~~

When you returned, Karasuno had just started their match against Fukurodani. Bokuto was quick to score, already putting them in the lead. As you approached the bench to sit next to the coach, you noticed that the excitable tangerine wasn’t on the court.

“Huh? Hinata’s not playing?” Ukai sighed, and you took that as a bad sign, looking over at him curiously.

“There was a… disagreement after you left.” Furrowing your eyebrows, you frowned. You knew Hinata bickered with people a lot, but an actual argument?

“He told Kageyama that he wants to open his eyes during the quick now.” Ah, yes. That would be something Tobio would lose his head over. To him, it was a sign that Hinata didn’t trust him anymore, and he was obviously scared to throw a toss for there to be no one ready to spike it, just like in middle school.

“Is it right? To bench him?” He was asking because you were the one that knew Tobio better than anyone, but even if you did, he was still entirely unpredictable, especially when it came to volleyball.

“I don’t think there is a right thing to do in this situation like this.” He pursed his lips, eyes trained on your brother as he set up a ball.

“They both definitely need time to think, but I suggest you keep a close eye on them. They clash for a reason.” Taking your words into consideration, he gave you a small smile and handed you back the notebook you had dropped earlier.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright.” You gave him a nod and turned your attention back to the game.

You were too.

~~~

Soon enough, the day was over, and the camp had ended. Bokuto was currently refusing to let you go, even though you’d be seeing each other again in two weeks for the summer training camp.

“Bokuto-san, please let her go now.” You really did feel sorry for Akaashi, having to deal with him pretty much 24/7.

“Now, now, Bo.” The spiker’s grip loosened slightly at the voice, and you took the chance to wriggle out of his grasp.

“But Kuroo! I’m going to miss her!” You rolled your eyes, a playful smile on your lips. Kuroo turned his attention towards you, a smirk evident on his face, as usual.

“Don’t forget to stay in touch, babygirl.” Resisting the urge to gag at him, you grinned.

“Kuroo, do me a favour, will you?”

“Anything for you, sweets.”

“Try that on someone it will actually work on.” Even Akaashi let out a snicker as the captain deadpanned at you.

“Worth a try. You will text though?” Showing him your phone, you typed in a smiley face and pressed send. His phone chime and the simple text brought a smile to his lips.

“See you in two weeks, boys!”

Luckily, you were travelling back home with the team, and not by train. As soon as you stepped onto the bus, you noticed that Hinata and Tobio were sitting away from each other, nothing but empty seats in between them. Taking the one next to your brother you made sure you could still see the boys outside and waved to them through the window as the bus pulled away from the school.

It was quiet for a while, most of them being exhausted from the intensity of the past two days.

“Give him a chance.” The boy glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, immediately returning his attention back out of the window.

“You don’t know that it doesn’t work until you try it.”

“It won’t work.”

“Then practice.” He huffed, clearly not willing to listen to you, and you frowned.

You would convince him.

Somehow.

~~~

Yawning, you stumbled off the bus, almost tripping into Tsukishima as you did so.

“Watch it, dumbass.”

“Shut it, beanpole.” You matched his sneer with one of your own, but he merely rolled his eyes and turned away, going back to his conversation with Yamaguchi.

Following your brother, you found yourself at the clubroom as he collected whatever he needed. With a tired smile, you noticed Hinata stood in the doorway, but he didn’t look like the happy-go-lucky Shouyou that you were used to.

“Kageyama,” At the call of his name, your brother turned to look at him just as the two of you were leaving.

“Give me a toss.” You whined in protest, but still ended up and the gym with them both as they set up the equipment.

“I know I said to give it a chance, but I didn’t mean right now!” They both ignored you and carried on, leaving you grumbling to yourself as you set down your things next to the bench.

They had entrusted you to arch the balls over Tobio’s head so that he could toss to Hinata.

“Okay!” Hinata ran up to the net and jumped, but the toss ended up being too high. Since the smaller boy was actually using his brain now rather than acting on pure instinct alone, he was focusing less power into his legs, meaning his jumps weren’t as high.

“Just a little higher, Shouyou. Don’t forget about the power you use to jump, not just to spike.” He nodded at you and they started again.

They tried another, but it was still too high.

“Lower, Tobio.” He shot you a hard look and you gave him one back ,refusing to let him let his attitude get the better of him.

And so, they tried another.

And another.

And another.

But Hinata couldn’t spike a single one.

“You’re not working togeth-“

“One more time!” You raised your eyebrow as the little ginger interrupted you. He was breathing heavily, having been at this for quite some time.

“Instead of repeating this attack that we may not even be able to do, the attacks we already have; serving, blocking. You have plenty of other things to practice already!” You don’t think you had ever seen your brother shout at his spiker like that. It had always been playful, no matter what it was about.

“But… if this doesn’t work out… I have no reason to be standing on the court!”

“Shouyou…” you dropped the ball in your hands in shock. He was always so confident, you never expected him to be so unsure of himself.

“I’ll put up a toss that won’t get caught by blockers!” It was easy to understand where he was coming from, but you knew that wasn’t how the game worked, and if he carried on with a mindset like that, they were going to lose.

“But it means that I won’t be getting any better!” Right now, Hinata was perfectly right, you just wished that your brother would see that.

“What’s better? A perfected fast attack, or a completely useless fast attack?” You bit your lip as the taller of the two grabbed the shorter by the shirt.

“Tobio, calm down already!”

“I want a strength that lets me fight on my own!” Oh, that was bound to do it. Tobio was only going to take those words at face value, and not think about what they actually meant.

“And your selfishness is going to break the team’s balance!”  

“Tobio!” You screamed as he threw the other boy down onto the floor, the fight escalating a lot further that you had expected it to.

“The only one being selfish here is you. Now quit being an ass, Tobio!” He whipped his head around to argue with you.

“What’s it to you? You can’t even play, so what’s the use?” That one may have hurt.

“Do you know how much I would love to be in your position right now? And yet you’re pissing around trying to dictate what the rest of the team does! Hinata is right!” Yet he wasn’t listening, he had turned his attention back to the other boy.

“To win, I’ll toss to anyone I need to. And that hasn’t changed, even now.” You were in complete disbelief. Did the past few months mean nothing to him?

“Kageyamaaa!” He was at your brother’s back in an instant, pushing his as hard as he could, but Tobio was stronger. He pulled Hinata from where he had his hands wrapped around his torso and threw him back on the floor. Hinata wasn’t backing down, and was soon back on his feet, running at your brother again.

“Oh, fuck.” There was no way that you could stop this, they had gone too far. You sprinted out of the gym, running back towards the club room to see if anyone was there. Fortunately, you recognised the skinhead wing spiker just coming down the stairs.

“Shit, Tanaka, they’re fighting. I can’t- I can’t-“

“Hey, hey, who’s fighting? Where are they?” You led him back to the gym as fast as you could, and he ran towards them both at full speed. He delivered a satisfying punch to both of their faces, which was greatly deserved, and you stood to the side and caught your breath.

Once it was all over and Tanaka had finally stopped them from fighting, you walked over to the bench calmly and collected your things.

“Rei? Rei, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did.” You merely glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, and expression of pure rage that he had never seen before set on your face.

“Save your apologies for when you get that stick out of your ass, you bastard.” Never had you spoken to your brother, or anyone for that matter, as harshly as that, but you were fuming. You couldn’t think of a time where you had felt so angry with someone.

Funny how a few words can change someone completely.

~~~

The next practice wasn’t until two days later, and you really wished that you could say things had gotten better, but they hadn’t. You hadn’t spoken to Tobio since the fight, not even at home, and you were still unbelievably angry at him. Not only was he stubborn and wrong, he had more or less thrown the fact that you couldn’t play volleyball at your feet and spat on it.

It was as if he had suddenly regressed back to the boy he had been at the end of last year; just the king of the court dictating his subjects around as he pleased, and you weren’t going to stand for it.

Hinata and Tobio had been placed on different teams for practice games for the time being while they calmed down. It was best for the both of them, but you couldn’t help but worry as you watched them pass each other without so much as a glance. While he was mostly in the wrong right now, he was almost right with one thing.

If this rift continued for much longer, the team would eventually implode, and it would set them back way further than they were when they first started.

“It’s weird. Seeing them actually having a real fight.” Glancing over your shoulder, you noticed that Tsukishima had come to stand beside you.

“All friends fight sometimes. They’ll get over it.” He didn’t look convinced, but neither did you. You were at a complete loss about what to do. You could only pray that they somehow found a way to sort it out themselves.

“Let’s hope.” With that, he walked away, getting into position.

“Yeah, let’s hope.”

~~~

Over the next two weeks, everyone seemed to be busy with one thing or another.

As far as you were aware, Noya and Asahi were working together; Noya helping to improve Asahi’s serves, and Asahi helping Noya to perfect a libero-set. You checked up on them as often as you could and helped as much as possible, but with the team all doing different things, it was difficult to stick to helping one problem at a time.

Ukai had shown the spikers a new move, one used by a team at the camp that seemed to work amazingly in their favour. It was a synchronised attack, which were, in fact, very useful during matches, but you were sceptical about how quickly they could perfect it in time to use it effectively, especially with the levels of tension being so high right now. You also tried to help them, of course, but it was a skill that they needed to work on as a team, so there wasn’t much that you could do.

Kiyoko was trying to work with your brother so that he could improve the accuracy of his tosses, but it was safe to say that you had stayed clear of that for now, choosing to observe from a distance.

The coach had also told you that Hinata was working with his grandfather, the first Coach Ukai, and the class of middle school kids he was teaching, in order for him to learn how to fight by himself, just how he wanted. You couldn’t be any happier for him. You didn’t know how well it was going, since you didn’t see him around much outside of practice now, but it was Shouyou, so you were sure he was getting along just fine.

With you not speaking to Tobio, you had found yourself walking home with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi one night. It was a peaceful evening, albeit a bit later than you would have liked, but everyone had been working so hard lately that practice ran over pretty much every night at this point.

“Hey, guys?” Yamaguchi had stopped by a side street, looking at you with a guilty smile.

“I gotta go this way. I’m gonna go practice my serving a bit with Mr. Shimada.” You smiled at him warmly. Everyone really was working at one hundred and ten percent.

“Of course, Yams. Have fun!”

“Sure. See ya.” Tsukishima began walking off without you, and you rolled your eyes in Yamaguchi’s direction, making him giggle before he left.

“Oi, Tsukki.” He glanced at you when you caught up to him, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet.

“You’re the only one I see who isn’t doing extra practice. What’s up with that?” He scowled at you, but you hadn’t bickered with him for so long the other week to completely forget about it.

“Don’t need to. I told you.” Sighing, you jogged ahead to stand in front of him, forcing him to stop.

“And I told you to get your head in the damn game. I have enough problems with my brother right now, so don’t make me add you to the list of people whose asses I need to kick.” He chuckled, amused at how fiery you had been lately.

“I’ll even help you if you want. Just please try?” The look in your eyes made his resolve falter just a bit, his expression falling momentarily.

“Sure, if you can reach.” He placed his hand on your head and ruffled your hair, finally managing to rile you up for once.

“Hey, you disrespectful little shit! You’re not that much taller than me! And you’re so lanky! You’d make a crappy beanpole, beanpole!” He let out a laugh and you continued to bicker with him until he noticed you yawning, clearly worn out from all of the excitement lately. He made sure to walk you as far as he could, sending some sort of insult your way every so often to make sure you weren’t about to fall asleep in the street.

You both stopped at the corner that connected your two routes, and you let out another yawn. Tsukishima smiled to himself as he watched you tiredly rub your eyes, blinking rapidly to wake yourself up a bit.

“Night night, Tsukki.” He could have sworn that his heart stopped right there and then. You sounded so cute.

Wait.

What?

No, you didn’t.

Absolutely not.

He cleared his throat and awkwardly fiddled with the wire connected to his headphones.

“N-night dumbass.” You gave him a tired smile and a wave before he turned and began walking away.

“Don’t forget what I told you, four eyes!” Shaking his head, he glanced back at your disappearing form. He was tired, that was all, and he’d just been a bit nicer to you lately. It didn’t mean that he liked you any more than he did when he met you. And definitely weren’t cute. Not at all.

Tsukishima sighed dejectedly.

You just might end up being the death of him.

~~~

And so, the team kept practicing, all striving to improve, to aim as high as they could reach and then further. From what you had been witnessing with the more and more practices you attended and helped out on, they had made some real progress. At least, a lot more than you had expected them to, especially with Hinata and Tobio still being at odds.

It was still extremely tense within the team, but soon enough, summer rolled around and you were all getting ready to head off to Tokyo again for the week-long training camp.

“This will be the first and last long-term training camp before the Spring Nationals preliminaries.” You were sure they were all excited but knowing that you would be able to help them properly this time around, it had you buzzing.

From: bedhead :<

See you tomorrow, angel-cakes <3

You giggled at the text. You had kept in contact with Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi, just as you had promised, and it seemed like he had an endless list of pet names to call you.

“Texting your boyfriend, hmm?” You jumped, not having realised that Tsukishima was stood behind you. He had that godforsaken smirk plastered on his face and you scowled at him.

“As if. It’s just Kuroo.” He tutted, the smirk growing even more sly – if that was even possible – and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose with his finger.

“Sure. Whatever you say, angel-cakes.” He laughed as he walked off, and you glared at his back. That boy was really beginning to get on your last nerve.

Though, what you couldn’t see was the frown that took over Tsukishima’s expression the second he turned away from you.

Kuroo Tetsurou, huh?

Whatever.

It wasn’t a big deal.

Although, the freckled first year that had just witnessed that entire interaction would disagree. It definitely was a big deal.

Yamaguchi had never seen Tsukishima get so worked up over anything before. It pissed him off when you teased him, sure. But he was actually angry.

Was it possible-

No.

Never.

Or was it?

There was really only one way to find out.

taglist: @tchalameme, @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire, @loreblackthorne, @lorentime, @influxencer, @enagmaticether, @nerdstuff1994​

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @kapists

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bowl shape. all of your planets are focused in half of the chart. this usually makes the owner of the chart feel uncompleted, as if a part of their life is missing. in your case, it would be something regarding your identity, your mind. you may look for this missing part of yourself in your partner, or maybe in your friends, or even in stuff like work, passions etc. this may cause you to be too dependant of others, or maybe you become obsessed and overindulge in what makes you feel complete.

your dominant planets are mercury, jupiter and the moon. you are an extremely intelligent person under every point of view; you're both logically and philosophically intelligent, as well as emotionally. you're very witty, open-minded and fair, you most likely have a good sense of humor and you could also be quite emotional and moody too.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌍 ascendant in virgo, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and venus

you have a practical approach to the world. you’re kind of logical, it’s hard for you to improvize. you always want to keep everything neat and organized, at least in your mind. you could have a natural coldness to your face. you may seem a bit older than you are, or at least very mature and responsible, even though you may be more outgoing than you look due to your sagittarius moon, event though you may tend to hide this bubbly side of you to strangers. with your attentive eyes, you pay attention to every single detail you see. you’re a perfectionist, and you always want and try to be at your best state. I would say you’re quite competitive when it comes to your goals, but you don’t really do it to be above others. you do it because your obsession for details kind of stresses you out. improving and proving yourself is a way to boost your self-esteem, you feel fulfilled when you can achieve your goals. you are extremely intelligent and logical, you’re always up for a deep talk or simply for an occasion to gain more knowledge. you like being smart, you always want to know about everything. even the latest, trendy meme counts for you. your nature is very cautious; you’re rarely impulsive, you always think deeply about your decisions, as you don’t want to commit any mistakes. because of that, you can be particularly picky. not only with material things such as movies, books, food etc. but even with people. it’s hard for you to open up to someone you don’t know at all. you take things slow, both in friendships and in relationships, just to preserve yourself. you may come off as kind of snobby, but you’re just misunderstood. you don’t like flaky bonds, you need security in your life. physically, as I’ve already mentioned before, you have this kind of strict look on your face. your eyes may be almond-shaped, and you could have a natural feline gaze. overall, you have something smaller about your features; you could have thin lips, a small nose, small eyes… you could have a smaller frame with thin bones, and you don’t gain weight easily. you may be of average height, and I’ve noticed that most virgos tend to have pretty long legs? no matter if they’re tall or not, their legs will still be longer than their bust.

virgo ascendant square sagittarius moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the ascendant being in virgo doens’t help either, as this placement makes you quite afraid of being judged or too seen. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. yet, with your virgo ascendant you don’t want to be read, therefore you end up feeling ashamed of your own emotions. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

virgo ascendant opposite pisces venus: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. even if you're shy and / or introverted, you still most likely have good social skills that allow you to make new friends easily if you try. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually attract and choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, even though I don’t think it’s your case. your venus is pretty much well-placed, so I don’t think there’ll be serious problems.

virgo ascendant opposite pisces jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also softens your strict virgo image, making you look more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in aquarius, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by uranus and venus

this is the most intelligent aquarius decan. even though you may face some insecurities, you’re typically a strong-minded person. you strive for independence, as you focus your existence on your witty intellect. you have the ability to achieve great things, as your mind is literally revolutionary, even though you may struggle to make those projects concrete. a downside to this placement is that you may not give enough importance to your words; you’re brutally honest, and you may often hurt someone with your thoughts. even though you may appreciate it, as you don’t like it when people aren’t straight-forward, you probably don’t realize the effect your words can have on others. you’re also quite stubborn, and you take particular pride about your ideals. you may feel offended when people disagree with you. or maybe, you don’t even say your opinions, because you could be aware of the weight of your words and you don’t want to hurt others, or you’re afraid of being judged. people may define you as cold at first, but thanks to your jupiter dominance in your chart you manage to seem way more approachable than the typical aquarius sun.

aquarius sun conjunct aquarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy virgo dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

🌙 moon in sagittarius, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your sagittarius moon, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, mysogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

sagittarius moon square pisces jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, especially with your unpredictable aquarius moon. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your virgo rising.

🗣 mercury in aquarius, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by uranus and venus

mercury is exalted in the sign of aquarius, so this is definitely a beneficial placement! you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all, especially with your virgo rising. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice.

❤️ venus in pisces, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and the moon

you’re hopelessly romantic, to the point that you almost look naive. you’re not simply looking for a partner or spouse, you’re looking for a soulmate; someone you can literally communicate with just using your eyes, someone that knows how to make you feel even messier on the inside. you like to nurture and feel nurtured in a relationship. your ideal lover would be sensitive and empathetic, yet still with a sort of rebel vibe to them. this placement is indeed very lovely, but it has its downsides too, of course. the problem is, pisces makes you idealize your crushes/partners way too much, to the point that you create an image of someone in your head that turns out to be the opposite at the end. you ignore your partner’s flaws, as they seem perfect to you. pisces also attracts 'broken’ persons, so you may be prone to find yourself people with any kind of illness or addiction. you also have the tendency to fall for people who may hurt you because they’re unavailable, either physically or emotionally. you could possibly also crush on celebrities, movie characters etc. that’s because you’re more the type to fall in love with love, rather than with the actual person.

pisces venus square sagittarius pluto: you find yourself having crushes on random people often, love at first sight is common for you. but when you seriously fall for someone, they’re your only thought. you start searching for info about them online, and you wanna become part of their life too. you love intensely, but not everyone may enjoy that. there are people that could feel overwhelmed by your love, others that would vibe with you and offer you the same kind of affection. ironically, you tend to attract detached, free-spirited people that most of the times don’t want anything serious. you’re prone to get jealous and possessive very easily, and this makes you suffer, as you may think there’s something wrong with you. maybe, it may even remind you of something that happened during your childhood, perhaps your parents were also very protective of you. love for you is a constant grow; your relationships will be hard, but there’ll always be something to learn to improve yourself and your confidence. little side-note, you may often date karmic partners, aka partners from your past lives, so you may often experience this 'I’ve already seen you before’-vibe in your new encounters and relationships, and you’ll always learn something from all your relationships.

☄️ mars in scorpio, 5° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you’re an extremely goal-oriented person. you want to be the best at everything you do, not only to be better than others but also the best for yourself. you’re very astute, it’s impossible to trick you, and you always find a way to be in charge and get what you want. yet, you can get quite obsessed about your goals, that you could do extreme things to get what you want. in fact, people with this placement can even manipulate others, as they’re totally capable of doing that. yet, I don’t see many placements that point out to that in the rest of your chart. when you get angry, you could actually seem scary. your emotions are very intense, it’s hard to calm you down. mixed with your sagittarius moon and aquarius mercury, you may be very sarcastic and aggressive with your words. you could hurt people, but you don’t do it on purpose. most of the time, you don’t even mean the things you say. you may also vent your anger with physical action, hence you could slam doors, punch or break things etc.

scorpio mars opposite aries saturn: this placement indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams, loving yourself and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses, interceptions

your 1st house is in virgo. you appear as someone intelligent, possibly judgmental and critical. in fact, you’re a perfectionist, and most of the time you appreciate it when someone takes care of themselves just as much as you do. you’re also particularly pessimistic, and this could be annoying for those around you. you're very logical, you probably lack intuition just like you lack water in your chart. you're very pragmatic, and you may even be judgmental, but this energy is probably mitigated by your jupiter dominance, which makes you more open-minded and flexible. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 6th house: your career success makes you feel realized and fulfilled. working is important in your life, and it is a great boost for your self-esteem. having a good reputation and being in charge, a leader, is one of your goals in life. your life may also revolve around your health, it could be particularly good or maybe there could be some issues that require a lot of attention to cure.

your 2nd house is in libra. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. with this placement I’d suggest that you should pursue a career that allows you to express your creativity, as arts and beauty allow you not only to make money, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could also spend money in venusian things like clothes, make-up, decorations and anything that involves beauty and aesthetic. with mars placed in this house, I feel like you may be very fond of money. you could do something just to earn material things from it, like money or any other good that satisfies your wants. you may be quite materialistic, you enjoy the finer things in life, or at least you want to be financially stable. you like the idea of saving money, but ironically you may be too impulsive when it comes to finances and spend money in random things you may not need. the ruler of the 2nd house is placed in the 6th house: your future job will probably allow you to earn a great income, especially if you get promoted to a better position, which is very possible considering your placements. you could actually become the leader or boss at work. this is also another placement that indicates that you may work in a creative field, hence with arts or beauty. possibly, you could even do well as a lawyer, a judge or politician.

your 3rd house in scorpio. you probably love witty jokes and sarcasm. you’re extremely honest when you think and speak, and most of the times you have no problems expressing your opinions. you could possibly be very good with words and be good at convincing and manipulating others. usually this placement makes someone kind of mischievous when it comes to words, but I think that with all the jupiter, influence in your chart and your well-aspected mercury, you’re able to control this in order not to hurt others. your mind is very deep, you’re probably not really into small talks. you may also love anything that is considered taboo, like astrology, horror, nudity, death… you’re also quite secretive, you’re seen as an enigma. you don’t want to share much about you. last but not least, you value honesty above all. you only speak the truth, and hence you also want it back. you may as well be into conspiracy theories, science and anything that can expose what’s behind the universe, the government etc.

your 4th house is in sagittarius, with also the moon placed in this house. you could come from a foreign place, or perhaps you moved houses a lot during your childhood. perhaps, you have someone in your family that is from a different culture or religion from yours, or perhaps they’re able to speak more than one language. your parents could have been very successful at school, they could actually be professors. you might’ve always been a smart kid, you could’ve grown up learning more languages and you were most likely good at school too. you also got to make lots of experiences during your childhood, you might have travelled a lot. your relationship with your family is most likely very good. it could be that there might have been a few misunderstandings between you and your parents, but nothing too serious. maybe, they could have been a bit distant, it could be that they had to travel a lot for work and hence you felt lonely; or maybe, it's the opposite, they were a bit too affectionate and overwhelming, and you may have been babied or spoiled a bit too much. yet, this didn't really affect your growth and mentality, so it's probably nothing important. in fact, you also have the moon placed in this house, which indicates that your family is your comfort-zone. you feel comfortable with them, you're allowed to express yourself the way you want without being judged or repressed. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 7th house: you're probably fond of love and families, and you'll most likely form one with your future spouse, you'll probably have children. you may also marry someone from your childhood, like an old friend of yours, or in general someone that will feel like home to you. they could be very nurturing and protective of you.

your 5th house is in the sign of capricorn. capricorn usually brings a feeling of seriousness to the house it’s in. I don't think it's your case, though. in fact, neptune, uranus and the sun are also placed in this house. you could be a bit more introverted, probably you’re not the type to frequent clubs, parties, etc. you’re more serious from that point of view. your hobbies could actually drain your energy for you; let’s suppose you’re into videogames. you could literally spend the whole day playing videogames, as you take your hobbies very seriously. you’re not the type to start a project and then leave it, and it could be helpful considering that your aquarius sun gets bored very easily, you’re very resolute. also, you most likely have 'mature’ hobbies; you could be into politics, economy, history… you could be into slower types of music, for example, or perhaps you like reading about world issues. with your children you may be quite strict, as you see them as a responsibility. also, you may often be attracted or attract older or more mature partners. you're most likely a very romantic and artistic person, you may be fond of music, dancing, singing, acting... anything creative that stimulates your senses. yet, you may be a bit picky when it comes to hobbies; you probably only like reading specific types of books, you only listen to a certain music style, you're very unconventional. you're not the type to follow trends, especially with your strong aquarius dominance in your chart. you like particular forms of art, things that stand out and that actually carry an important meaning with them.

your 6th house is in aquarius, with also mercury and venus placed in this house. people with aquarius in their 6th house need to change their routine throughout your life. probably, when you were you younger they taught you things that aren’t healthy for your body and health. you may have to change your diet, your medicines… also, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. I don’t think you do it too often, but it may still happen dominance in your chart, but for example you wouldn’t mind skipping a day of school or work to play videogames. this placement also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden. you could also develop unexpected diseases. mercury here indicates that you get to communicate a lot in your day-to-day life, and hence you could pursue a career that involves words and communication of any kind, you may have to interact with other people in your job. it will most likely be a creative, artistic job, as your venus sitting in this house suggests. it will be a very pleasant job, it won't even feel like a duty to you as you'll choose a job that you like and that you're passionate about.

your 7th house is in pisces, with also jupiter placed in this house. with this pisces descendant, you attract people that are pretty much very intuitive and soft; they could have pisces placements, or at least they’ll be extremely artistic and emotional. yet, you may as well surround yourself with 'broken’ people. that is, people that aren’t exactly in the best state of their health, whether physically or mentally. neptune, the ruler of this house, is in the 5th house. since in your chart the 5th house represents your job too. you’ll most likely meet your future spouse at your work place. you could pursue the same career, they could be a customer of yours… or perhaps, you could meet them in a fun situation, like a party, a vacation, a night out... any situation where you're supposed to be chilling and having fun, you may meet your future spouse there. with jupiter in this house, you may meet your future spouse at school, or maybe even directly abroad. they may be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak a different language from yours. they could also have a different culture/religion. also, in a relationship you probably hate feeling suffocated. while your pisces venus may make you enjoy skinship, you may sometimes also need your space, you still need your freedom, especially since your dominant sign is aquarius. overall, this placement also indicates that you may have more than one marriage, or in general you'll date many people. you could also be quite lucky when it comes to love, and you only tend to attract the positive side of your pisces descendant.

your 8th house is in aries, with also saturn placed there. generally, people with aries in their 8th house are very confident when it comes to taboo topics; they have no problems showing their interest in them, especially with people they're intimate with. yet, due to saturn's presence in this house, this effect may be delayed for you. in fact, you may actually be afraid of darker topics and embrace them. for example, you could have little or no sex drive at all. this is something that gets naturally better with time as you make more experiences and grow mature. your saturn isn't harshly aspected either, hence I wouldn't worry too much. you may also be particularly sensitive to or even tame physical pain. you constantly try to improve yourself by coming up with new projects, you love challenges. they help you growing up into the person you want to become. you may come across some hardships regarding yourself, your identity. but, when you face those fears and start loving yourself, you’ll naturally become more mature and 'transform’. last but not least, this placement can also indicate that you're going to have a painful death, or perhaps your father could have been absent throughout your life, emotionally or even physically. with the ruler of the 8th house in the 2nd house, you may be known for your successful career, maybe you may actually get popular and wealthy easily. you could earn lots of money from your job, even though I don’t see you being totally independent. you may work under a boss for example, or perhaps you get successful thanks to others’ support, for example you could have some fans that help you boost your career. you may also open a business by yourself and make tons of money easily. basically, you probably always manage to get money, even when you're struggling.

your 9th house is in taurus. with this placement, I feel like you may use your intellect to gain financial security and material possessions. while this is a good thing, as it helps increasing your confidence, don’t forget that your intellect is more important than money or any other thing. don’t underestimate it. you’re totally capable of learning and understanding things by yourself, hence don’t wait for others for help. you should start dealing with your own experiences alone, without anybody else’s help. this placement can also be someone a little close-minded; in fact, you're probably very stubborn and firm about your beliefs. you hardly ever allow others to change your mind. mixed with your logical, aquarius dominance, you probably lack intuition. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 6th house: your job could possibly include travelling, foreign languages and different cultures in general. possibly, you could also a be a teacher, a professor, a coach… anything that allows you to give lessons. you may also be fond of higher education, and you may become a poet, a philosopher, basically a writer of any kind.

your 10th house is in gemini. you may actually pursue more than one career throughout your life! you’re very flexible and skilled at multi-tasking, so you probably wouldn’t feel stressed about it. perhaps, you could alternate a creative profession with a more logical career, like working in an office for example. also, your suitable jobs should include communication and creativity at the same time; you could be a writer, for example. or perhaps, you could keep these two things in two separate jobs. what matters is that you use words in both of them, and hence you could even be a judge, a singer, a translator, etc. you may also have to interact with other people in your job, I don't see you working from home for example. you could even work as a teacher, or even professor since your jupiter is strongly placed in your chart.

your 11th house is in cancer. this placement indicates that your friends, they’re your comfort-zone. you feel understood when you’re with them, they’re pretty much like a family to you. you can tell them anything, you put all of your trust in them. or at least, if you haven’t met anyone like this yet, you’ll surely meet a friend that is like a soulmate to you. they’ll also be very important for your growth. in addition, it could also be that you’re still friends with someone from your childhood or even high school days, and hence you could literally grow up together. you could also have some step-siblings. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 4th house: since your 4th house is in sagittarius, you could befriend people from a different country, nationality or culture from yours. your friends may come from abroad, they may be able to speak more than a language just like you do. or at least, they’re also very open-minded and intelligent. you may also meet them in school / college or even work.

lastly, your 12th house is in leo. this is kind of a tricky placement, as leo rules the self, the ego, and the 12th house rules fears. you could be afriad of being too confident, of feeling worth it, or even just by being in the spotlight. perhaps, you have stage fright. this fear of embracing your persona makes you very insecure, even though you probably don’t show it. also, since your 12th house is the house of dreams, you could often make dreams that involve yourself. you hardly ever dream of someone else, and if you they’re probably your lovers, possibly your friends. you may also make daydreams or sleeping dreams of creative, utopic scenarios. the ruler of the 12th house is in the 5th house: your hobbies most likely involve spiritual matters; you may be into psychology, astrology, tarots, religion... you may even have sleeping as a hobby, you could sleep a lot to relax. you could also enjoy yoga, meditating and doing charity work.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract pisces, sagittarius, aquarius, leo and capricorn placements. your future spouse will most likely have some of their planets in sagittarius or capricorn; they’ll be well-balanced, with a stable job and finances. yet, they won’t be too much of a workaholic, as they’re also most probably a chill individual who loves relax and vacation as well. they could also be foreign and very open-minded. yet, they could be quite impulsive and chilidish at times. your chart points out that this relationship will be kind of unordinary; you may meet them abroad, most likely at work, or even during a simple trip. they’ll also be very spiritual, perhaps religious, or even psychic. your children will have aquarius placements, as well as pisces, cancer and leo traits too. they’ll be extremely open-minded and intelligent; they could be a bit rebellious, but in a very woke and revolutionary way. they'll be very creative and emotional too. also, this placement indicates that you may get pregnant unexpectedly, so be careful to that.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was probably very outgoing, sociable and open-minded. she was probably very intelligent too, and she could have been a successful student. she was basically the perfect, nurturing mother. yet, she probably was too emotional, she could have even been quite possessive or moody. she probably has sagittarius, pisces and / or cancer placements in her chart, as well as 9th, 12th and 4th house placements. your father, on the other hand, was probably less strict than your mother. he had a complex personality, he most likely used to act different based on the situation he was him. but you most likely used to play a lot with him, you had fun together. he could have been very sociable and intelligent too. he may have gemini or virgo placements in his chart, as well as 3rd and 6th house placements, perhaps even 9th. if you have siblings, they have scorpio or aries placements in their chart, as well as 1st / 8th house placements. you might have fought a lot when you were young, there were many control issues and your bond is very intense. yet, you're still very affectionate, and your bond will probably get better as time goes by.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, your future career will most likely involve communication of any kind; you could have to interact with other people, and hence you may work in a place that allows you to communicate with others and that can get quite crowded, like a shop for example. you'll most likely start from these small jobs, like working in a cafe for example. yet, your gemini midheaven indicates that you can handle way stronger careers; above all, communication and creativity are the most indicated fields for you to be successful. you would do amazing as a writer for example, or perhaps you could even become an amazing teacher / professor. yet, you may even choose to pursue a more complex career, like a career in the med field. you could become a nurse for example, as it allows you to both help and communicate with other people. you will start from simple things, but as time goes by, you'll be able to become more independent, maybe even a leader. you probably won't have to depend too much on other people.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you love wearing comfy, even over-sized fits, but that still look stylish and modern. for example, you may be fond of wide leg trousers, oversized t-shirts or sweatshirts... for the colors, you may fancy pastel colors, especially different shades of blue, or even just natural colors, such as white, beige, kaki etc. you may also like wearing baby/pastel colors, and you may experiment a lot with accessories. you may wear lots of bracelets.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life time, you didn’t have a specific priority. you just enjoyed wandering with your mind and creativity, allowing yourself to relax with your friends. you used to depend on someone else, not really on yourself. this lifetime, you need to establish your independence AND solid boundaries, not just those you used to daydream about. don’t be afraid to let your inner child out; go to amusement parks, binge-watch netflix, date your crushes, have an hobby, play videogames… you could also play with actual children. anything that brings fun out of you, and that puts a genuine smile on your face. yet, don’t forget that this lifetime of yours revolves around accomplishing your goals.

🤔 major transits analysis / october 2nd

a few unpredictable, possibly painful events may occur in this period of time, as transit uranus is in your 8th house opposite your natal chiron. there could be an unexpected loss of money for example, or even death. maybe also an issue surrounding your family life, or something metaphorical. something will happen that will surely change your view of things and will help you have a major transformation.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. you just have to believe in your power!

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

[anika-ann]

Think Again (When You Stop Freaking Out) - Pt.1

Good Morning... Me?

Pairing: None                   Word count: 1586

Warnings: language,  hella lot confusion, vomiting, blindness, sensory overload, ... irony and sass? ;)

Summary: Matt doesn’t feel like Matt. Steve doesn’t feel like Steve. How did that happen?

Story Masterlist

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Matt Murdock woke up with a startle and found out he was blind.

Now that wasn’t a strange occurrence. Unfortunately, Matt had been waking up unable to see for the past two decades, ever since he had been in an accident involving messed up chemicals and an act of spontaneous heroism on his side. In return, he had gained extremely enhanced senses and with time, he had learned to use them to see.

Which was exactly what was wrong at the moment.

Matt woke up… feeling blind.

The room he was in was strangely silent, no intrusive smells attacking his nostrils, no distinctive taste on his tongue, no extremely smooth sensation on his skin– gripping the sheets, he was very sure these weren’t his silk ones, this was not how silk felt and yet, the sheets weren’t scratching his skin so hard it would make him cry. Matt would think they were simple cotton, but this was not how it supposed to feel.

And he fucking couldn’t map the room as he couldn’t pinpoint his radar sense; his world of fire lacked fire.

He snapped his eyes open, his breathing raged, sitting up with a jolt.

He was not ready for the picture in front of him.

After all, this kind of picture only existed in his memories. This kind of picture had colours. Sharp edges, painfully so, as if every freaking atom had its place. Then again, Matt wouldn’t be a good judge of the state of his eye-sight, he couldn’t tell if it was 20/20, because he couldn’t remember what it felt like.

What could tell and was hundred percent sure of, was that… yeah, he could definitely see.

It freaked the shit out of him.

Feeling the bile rising to his mouth, his body jumped up on instinct, taking a bee line to the bathroom. It was only after he emptied his stomach that he realized that he had no clue which bathroom it was and how he had known where to go.

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Several blocks over, a man jolted awake, snapping his eyes open, only to be met with darkness.

He gasped, blinking, but there was nothing. His heart started hammering in his chest, a strange sensation vibrating through his ribcage, warmth spreading into his body with each thumb-thumb. A fraction of second later, the noise of the city assaulted his ears and hit him like a train – a train passing him by inches. He jumped back, hitting the wall behind him, quickly rolling over, falling off bed and shooting to his feet, his arms raised and fists curled up.

The noise didn’t fade out, making him raise his hands to his ears.

There was a weak taste of mint toothpaste in his mouth, barely covering other strange tastes he couldn’t quite place. His nose was itching with at least twenty different smells, mingling together and overwhelming his brain, easily causing him a headache. Not to mention his whole body was aching and he felt like every freaking cell of his body was alerting him on pain.

He thought the sweatpants he wore felt soft, yet there was an itch against his skin, as if they were made of the roughest fabric he ever felt. His balance was complete shit – the room around him pounded, the floor shaking with what he was sure was a subway train riding right under his feet and on top of all that, he was still in darkness, a strange darkness that felt somehow vibrant, flashes calling out for him.

What the hell was happening?

Calm down, soldier. You know better than to freak out. Deep breaths- oh god, so many smells, breathing in deeply was so not a good idea-- focus. Think of it as of a recon mission. In a very loud environment that resembles a battlefield, but those you know too.

Yeah, but going in this blind is a bit unusual.

Three quick knocks – and he would swear he felt them echoing in his bones, his ears pretty much bleeding with that sound – snapped his mind from racing.

“Matthew, I swear to God, if you don’t open the door, I’ll—… use my own key,” somewhat familiar voice threatened, apparently changing his mind in mid-sentence and offering a less violent solution.

It didn’t matter. Because he was in some serious trouble. The voice was too loud, joined by cacophony of tens others whispering or yelling in his head, everything felt wrong, his head hurt and apparently, he was in some Matt’s home.

He couldn’t remember drinking last night, but he made himself a promise. Steve Rogers swore that he would not get within a ten feet distance to Thor’s Asgardian liquor ever again.

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Exiting the bathroom after a very long shower – and about an hour spend on the floor, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the tiles didn’t feel as hard as they should against his knees, his body feeling overall wrong, definitely not his, and oh yeah, he could fucking see –, brushing his teeth for at least three times (why did the toothpaste taste so faintly again…?), and examining himself in the mirror – blond? He was blond now? – he went to examine the space he had woken up in.

The apartment was rather plain, but definitely belonged to a well-situated person, only if judging by the fact Matt found himself in at least thirtieth floor. During his freak-out, he had come to a bit unorthodox and, let’s be honest, totally insane conclusion, that he had been in a body of someone else. A steroid-freak, by the way, because what the hell, Matt was sure this amount of muscle tissue could not be natural, what was the guy doing apart from drugs? So yeah, that was a thing.

The thing was, there wasn’t much else to go on. He discovered an impressive closet, ranging from work-out clothes (wow, so many work-out outfits), comfortable homey sweats and t-shirts  and hoodies (Matt’s clothing of choice for now), to shirts and suits (not too many, which was strange, because again, rich guy, clearly).

In the nightstand, there were two sketchbooks (one extremely well worn) and Matt was no expert, but the drawings in it – mostly pretty random – were quite good. Huh. Rich. Freaky-ripped. Most likely on steroids. Handsome though. Artistic. Matt was surprised he didn’t find a woman’s (or man’s, whatever) underwear lying around at least, because this guy could to be a playboy for sure.

This guy. In whose body Matt was now, waking up, just like that.

He ran his hand down his face.

“Good morning to me,” he murmured, not even startled by the stranger’s voice which was – naturally – not his own.

“Good morning, Captain Rogers,” a female voice with thick Irish accent sounded above him and Matt jumped back, immediately raising his fists to protect himself (not himself) from the intruder (who might actually live here, unlike him). He saw no one.

Saw no one. Hilarious, Murdock.

He squinted, looking around, which was something he was not used to goddammit, he was supposed to sense the person coming, but while he guessed his hearing was alright for an average person, he was definitely not fine.

“May I be of any assistance?” the woman asked and Matt tilted his head in attempt to locate her better, which was perfectly useless.

What, was she invisible? Because that would be so fucking ironic he might even laugh. Able to see after two decades and the first person I meet is invisible. Congratulation, Universe, you managed to fuck it up again.

“N-no,” Matt tried out, hoping the weird… thing? Person? Would disappear and leave him alone to his inspection.

“Apologies, Sir. You seemed confused.” You have no idea. “And you were sick. Shall I inform anyone about your-“

“No, thank you. I’ll do it myself,” he blurted out, not even caring it probably didn’t sound very convincing.

“Understand, Sir.”

Matt slightly shook his head, easing his fighting stance and allowing himself to breathe in. He didn’t even know how he would fight. The self-awareness of his body, his ability to control the incredible mass was way too low, but hell, he would not have had a choice. And who knew, he might be able to pull out few moves, this body clearly remember something..

Because apparently, he was a captain. Captain Rogers. He thanked God he had a name now, at least. Now, if he would meet someone, he would at least know to turn around if someone addressed him.

It actually made sense, this guy being military. Retired maybe? Then again, he seemed fast and agile, which he would expect from an active soldier, but he wasn’t exactly an expert.

He wondered for a brief moment if he should call Foggy, but he quickly dismissed the idea. Firstly, he only found a locked phone, which sucked, secondly, he still had no idea where he was, thirdly, he didn’t want to put his friend in danger, and finally, he was aware that if someone called Foggy, claiming he was his best friend and business partner, but had woken up in the wrong body, Foggy would probably hang up anyway.

With a deep breath, he walked through the room, gathering courage to exit the relatively safe space. Gripping the handle – which cried under his determined hold, the material curving, what the hell, steroids, seriously - he opened the door, feeling like Alice going down the rabbit hole.

“Alright, Captain Rogers. Let’s do some recon.”

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Part 2

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Tags: @mermaidxatxheart​ 

If anyone wishes to be tagged as well (to this story, to my fics in general) by any chance, just lemme know.

[lovetheonlyyouthereis]

My thoughts on Jikook on Wembley Night 1

I’ve been seeing a lot of opinions about Jikook’s vibe on Wembley Night 1 that essentially fall in two buckets:

They didn’t breathe as much as usual, so they definitely got into a fight and “broke up.”

They didn’t breathe, but everything is 100% normal and fine.

If I had to choose one of these options, option two would be my pick, but, for the record, I don’t think either assessment of the night is correct from the way I interpreted Jikook’s behavior last night. I think these are the black and white (no pun intended) answers for Jikook’s bive last night in a conversation where I think there’s room for a lot more nuance.

Jikook definitely did not breathe as much as usual, but I actually anticipated this. I was actually talking to a fellow shipper before the concert and mentioned that I wasn’t expecting much Jikook. I don’t necessarily think that the company told them to tone things down or anything, but I do suspect that they may have had an agreement between themselves that they would dial things back a tad since the concert was going to be being streamed to such a large audience.

And sure enough, Jikook were definitely subdued compared to most concerts. But even if the show wasn’t being streaming to 140,000 people in HD, I still  wouldn;t have freaked out and I think that we, as a fanbase of shippers, need to do better about not jumping to the worst case scenerio just because JK doesn’t nibble JM’s ear at the end of every concert. 

Jikook had plenty of interactions last night that, although they may be considered less significant than what we’re accustomed to, indicated Jikook are totally fine and definitely did not get in a fight.

EXHIBIT A: The “Anpanman” Moment

During “Anpanman” Jimin literally just scooted his way past everyone and placed himself in between Jungkook’s legs. JK’s first response was to comfortably place his hand on his shoulder. This moment certainly is not a Jikkok “clue” moment and essentially fan service, but they both looked completely at ease. Not a hint of awkwardness.  

EXHIBIT B: “Let’s get started!”

I can only guess this moment came as the boys were preparing to do the ARMY Bomb wave. But Jungkook tells Jimin to get it started by calling him, “Jimin,” and then Jimin playfully responds by growling “Let’s get started!” You an watch the moment here.

At this point, Jungkook put his hand over his heart.

I thought that might be significant in terms of body language, but I looked into it and couldn’t find anything particularly related to this moment. Still hella cute, though. So, in the end, this was just a nice, playful interaction that further indicates that Jimin and Jungkook were not on bad terms that night.

Exhibit C: Jungkook staring fondly

When Jimin told his story about telling his friends about BTS performing at Wembley, Jungkook couldn’t stop staring fondly, and even stepped out of the line formation toget a better look at Jimin while he told his story. This moment, above all else, shows that Jungkook was equally as fond of Jimin last night as ever. You can watch the moment here.

Exhibit D: Jikook were close during the first group photo

Jimin and Jungkook comfortably wrapped their arms around each other when the boys took their first group photo at the end of the night. Again, certainly no a clue that they’re real, but definitely indicates they were totally fine on a personal level. You can see this moment here.

So, I already explained why I don't think anything was wrong with Jikook throughout the night and that they likely intentionally toned things down between them because of the live stream happening. So, why do I not think they were not 100% normal and OK?

Well, something curious happened at the end of the night. Jikook had been totally fine and dandy. As you could see, they were both happy and smiling while delivering their ending ments and, up to that point, I had not sensed andy form of tension between them. That is, until, the bows.

The Tension

When the boys were doing their bows, there was a noticible shift in Jungkook’s attitude that I have to say, seemed to coincide with Jimin’s comforting Namjoon.

You guys probably saw the moment. RM was getting emotional as they bowed to the fans and Jimin hugged him, then screamed, “Don’t cry RM!” into the mic as he gave RM a back hug.

You can watch the moment, and it’s aftermath, here starting at 

After that, there were a few different moments that indicated to me that Jungkook had been rattled, for whatever reason, by that interaction, and was a little more distant for the rest of the night (AKA, the next five minutes until the show was over). You can watch the moment go down in the video below starting at  4:29:

So, here’s what I noticed that indicated Jungkook’s mood had shifted after that moment:

1) Jungkook, having seen the interaction, walked past Minjoon while hugging himself.

This is the best screenshot/angle I could get of the moment (thought you can also see it in the video I embedded above).

And this is a more clear shot where you can see his facial expressions in that moment:

Credit: @/helianthusjk97

According to this article about self-hugging and body language, hugging yourself like this can indicate a few things:

It can be form of stress relief

It can be an attempt to hide insecurities

It can indicate anxiety or fear

2) Jungkook is subdued in his goodbyes.

Jungkook proceeds to walk around the stage saying goodbye to the fans like he usually does, but he’s noticeabley subdued and does not say much into his mic. This may not seem significant, but even when he cried pretty heavilty at the end of New Jersey Night 2, he managed to pull himself together and was smiling and saying his goodbyes like normal (more or less) after a couple minutes. You can watch that moment from New Jersey below:

3) Jimin ran to Jungkook to check on him

I’ve seen this moment being posted as some sort of cute moment between Jikook, but I actually found it kind of tense, curious.

While the boys are saying their goodbyes, Jimin appars to make a conscious effort to catch up to Jungkook. When he reaches him, he out a hand around his shoulder and says something to Jungkook. JK looks at him briefly, then up and away from him. Jimin appears to be attempting to say one more thing as Tae approaches them from behind, but Jungkook doesn’t give any noticeable acknowledgement of whatever Jimin had said. The moment honestly struck me as a bit tense in comparison to how they were interacting earlier in the night and indicates to me that Jimin had a sense that Jungkook had been unsettled by something, or else why would he have gone to comfort him? You can see this moment by clicking here.

4) Jungkook skips the group picture.

You can see this in the video from last night that I posted above.

It’s not uncommon for members who are emotional and overwhelmed by the fans’ love to not step into the group picture that the boys take before exiting the stage. Jungkook has done it multiple times, but as far as I can remember, those times had been when Jungkook was visibly crying. Like, real, hot tears.

What’s curious about this time is that Jungkook was not crying. One might argue he can be emotional without crying, which is very true, but on top of what I pointed out above in 1-3, I do think, in this moment, Jungkook’s emotional state had been caused by something else.

At one point, he even leans over from the distance to be included and makes an attempt at smiling/looking cute, but his face falters immediately and it didn’t, in my opinion, reach his eyes.

5) Jungkook’s hands are clasped and he’s covering his groin as he exits the stage.

According to this article about body language, the placement of one’s hands over their groin can indicate feeling insecure and nervous.

So, the question is “WHY?”

So, assuming the moment between Minjoon did rattle JK, which I believe it did for all the reasons I listed above, the question is “Why?”

For the record, I want to say right off the bat, that I don’t think Jungkook is seething with jealousy over the moment, or insecure about Jimin liking Namjoon or something. As I always say, there’s room for nuance in these conversations.

‘So, I can only theorize about what may have triggered Jungkook’s shift in mood (though it’s not confirmed and should be taken with a grain of salt and critical thinking).

My theory: Jungkook resents that other members can be “intimate” with Jimin freely on stage while they’re often “policed” when it comes to their on-stage interactions.

Throughout the night, we saw Jimin interact with several members of the group with little to no reaction from the other guys. Jungkook had a couple moments too, for that matter. But when Jikook interact, they’re often given a strong does of side eye, or even physically pulled apart. Perhaps Jungkook seeing that Minjoon moment happen so freely made him resent how Jikook are, on some level, policed on stage and that he can’t interact freely with Jimin like the others?

But, long story short, like I said, I do not think that Jikook got into some massive fight that kicked off their lack of PDA at Wembley night one, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sense some tension at the very end of the night, seemingly triggered by Minjoon’s interaction. It does indicate some form of unrest and insecurity about their situation on Jungkook’s part, if my analysis is right.

And honestly, how could he not feel that way? Imagine being on stage in front of 60,000 people feeling extremely overwhelmed, and the person you want to be next to most and bask in the moment about it with is right there with you, but you have a nagging voice in the back of your head ruining the moment telling you, “You can be too loud or you’ll draw suspicion. Everyone else in the band can, but you... you hold back.”

I could see it taking an emotional toll. But, overall, I doubt the tension will last and the boys will likely be back to normal tonight, but I think we can acknowledge when something seems to be a little off with Jikook without jumping to the conclusion that they’re over or had some massive fight.

Relationships are inherantly emotional rollercoasters, and in an impossible situation like Jikook are in, one can only imagine that constant stress they deal with trying to navigate their relationship -- whatever it is. I think that just shows how authentic their relationship really is.

[tonotbelionized]

Yang’s Mental Health: You Left Us! Why?

Yang Xiao Long, our sunny little dragon, is a character that has a lot of emphasis on her character being that there’s more to her than meets the eye. While she may seem like a carefree, badass boxer with a love for adventure and the unpredictability of it, we as the audience are shown quite early on that she does deal with a lot more beneath the surface.

Even before her amputation and later development of PTSD, we are shown that Yang actually isn’t as happy all the time as she appears to be, and is shown to be deeply affected by the absence of her biological mother; Raven. We’re given a sense that she has trouble actually talking about her problems, even with her sister Ruby or her friends.

So let’s see how deep into her psyche her problems lie, and how the show goes about dealing with these issues that threaten that damper out her fire.

Yang’s Abandonment & Trust Issues

Abandonment and difficulty in trusting people go hand in hand with Yang. It’s not that she has difficulty in growing bonds with people, as we see that she’s open and friendly even to people that she’s never met before, an offset to Blake who’s issues are more trusting people in general.

However, just because Yang can still make bonds with people easily doesn’t mean she expects them to last. It’s explicitly shown in her song regarding her feelings of Blake leaving, All That Matters. She never thought that Blake would always stay with her, because eventually everyone does leave, and the important part of that song is that Yang never asked Blake to commit because of this fear.

Even when she braced herself to what she believed to be an eventuality (everyone she loves leaves her), Yang admits in the song that she never would’ve expected Blake to leave her like she did. When Yang was at her lowest, Blake left without saying a word, and that just cuts her deeper because she was never told why Blake left. It’s the exact same as Raven not giving her a reason for leaving either in Yang’s mind, and to handle with that loss in friendship, Yang falls back on old habits. She clearly shows anger to mask the fact that she’s feeling lost and upset, only letting herself grieve when Ruby’s left the room.

Being abandoned at birth by Raven, and later losing her maternal replacement Summer, at such a young age meant that Yang would have had to rationalise this loss in her own way. Her behaviour both in her later life and from the tidbits we’re given in her conversations with Taiyang can help us see how Yang actually coped with it.

Given that Ruby was old enough to have solid memories of her mother, which doesn’t happen until the child is around five years old, so Yang would’ve been seven at the earliest with Summer’s death. With a child at that age, there are many different ways that they would process the loss, but it would only in limited ways because they are still trying to understand the concept of death overall. The ones that I think apply to Yang the most are:

May conceal their loss

Being irritable, having more tantrums, or developing aggressive behaviour

Looking for the person who’s died

With concealing her loss, we can see Yang doing that exact thing in the actual show. She rarely talks about Raven until she talks to Blake in Volume 2, and it’s implied in her annoyance at actually talking about her with Taiyang in Volume 4 that they weren’t really allowed to talk about this loss before. It’s even worse with Summer Rose, as Yang only talks about her when talking to Blake and in passing comment with Weiss in Volume 5, but both their losses still affect her.but the fact that Blake left so soon and without even saying a word while Yang was at her lowest meant that she 

Her aggressive behaviour is shown even before she developed PTSD. While she’s pretty laid back while fighting, she does quickly jump to violence with her fight in Junior’s bar in her trailer, and that she is quickly prone to angry outbursts at the slightest annoyance. It’s so much part of her character that Cinder takes advantage of it to pit her against Mercury, her previous outbursts with Neon meaning that it’s not hard for the people watching to assume Yang is that violent. 

While Raven didn’t die, her absence is basically the same thing because she isn’t there, and Yang had never seen her until her time in Beacon. Her desire to look for her biological mother pushed Yang to take Ruby and put her in danger when they are attacked by Grimm, and Yang acknowledges herself that her push and want to find Raven almost got her and her little sister killed. This is the only one that Yang seems to have moved on by herself, as she never allows her mission for answers control her life or put people she loves in danger again. 

While it’s not Taiyang’s fault that he fell into a deep depression after that, we do have to acknowledge that he didn’t help Yang through this loss emotionally. Without someone to help her rationalise and develop healthy coping mechanisms to handle her negative emotions, Yang has been left to deal with these problems alone, and that’s led to her doing so the only way she knows how; by simply ignoring them or letting them fester as anger. It’s the same problem I’ve highlighted in my Mentality of Adam post, a child that isn’t given guidance is at danger of becoming lost.

Yang’s PTSD

Before we go into depth about Yang’s PTSD, I would like to mention that there is a difference in PTSD and C-PTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Disorder, because that’s the main reason why I don’t connect with some of Yang’s struggles. We both have different forms of this disorder.

The main difference that has to be said is that PTSD is from a singular moment of trauma, like a natural disaster or a single moment of violence. In Yang’s case, her PTSD is caused by her dismemberment by Adam, a singular moment of trauma that continues to haunt her long after the incident has happened. C-PTSD is caused by ongoing cases of extreme violence and stress, such as childhood abuse, leading to victims experiencing particularly intense symptoms.

Moving on, PTSD is one of the central obstacles that Yang has to learn to live with, given that she was very much pushed to the background in terms of development compared to the rest of Team RWBY, at least until her fight with Mercury. At the beginning, we are clearly shown that Yang suffering from multiple symptoms of the disorder; nightmares, flashbacks that trigger panic attacks, insomnia, easily irritable and angered, temporary detachment from Ruby after she lost her arm.

This aspect of her mental state is given a lot of screen time, and Yang is never shown to just get over her fears. Even after trying on her new arm and getting back some of her old self confidence, Yang still shows that she has problems to deal with because of this disorder. She is easily angered whereas before, she could have be in high tense situations without losing her cool that much, especially in Weiss and Blake’s argument in Volume 1 and her talk with Blake in Volume 2. Now, Yang is shown to even snap at her friends when she’s stressed, and her hand shakes as a visual medium to show when she’s starting to get into highly stressful situations.

This even carries on into Volume 6. Her behaviour deteriorates not just because of her PTSD, but also because of the Apathy in the farm, and we see that she still suffers from flashbacks of Adam. When Blake tries to comfort Yang and instead accidentally oversteps her boundaries, Yang is easily offended and brushes Blake off, still showing that easily irritable side that hasn’t quite been dealt with. 

When she finally faces against Adam, she’s obviously in a better space mentally than she was in the beginning of her arc, but that doesn’t mean that her PTSD has now been fixed because you can never fix a mental disorder, you can only manage it. And it shows in their fight. When Adam brings up what he did to her in Beacon, Yang falters, she’s clearly stressed from her hand shaking, but now she’s been taught how to deal with that fear without losing her temper or by buckling under the pressure. As much as I personally deride the hand holding scene with Blake, I will give it credit in that the grounding effect it would have on Yang would help her control that overwhelming sensation PTSD can bring out. 

I continue to hold hope that the writers won’t know push it under the rug just because Adam is dead, given that they’ve treated Yang’s arm as a good replacement without showing how much having a prosthetic affects her, not only mentally but physically as well. PTSD and amputation are not interchangeable. 

Yang as an Unreliable Narrator

There are only a few ways to learn of a character’s backstory and childhood; we either see enough ourselves to put the pieces together, or the character tells someone, and by proxy the audience. This is the same for Yang. While we have only one flashback to show how Yang’s drive to find Raven put her and Ruby in danger, we mostly get the information from Yang herself, but that puts up a serious problem.

Because of the emotional impact the events had on her, Yang has become an unreliable narrator. That’s not to say that she’s completely lying, it’s obvious that Taiyang was severely depressed after losing Summer and Raven, but trauma and mental illness can mean that a person recalls their past in a somewhat tinted way. Not quite completely incorrect, but morphed slightly from the truth.

Yang felt completely alone but we know that Qrow and Taiyang were there for her in terms of helping to raise Ruby and meet Yang’s physical needs, but she has clearly felt that she couldn’t rely on the grown ups in her life for emotional support. Because of this, she has gone to simply burying her feelings on the subject and being there emotionally for Ruby whenever she needed it. A hint at how skewered her perception is, or perhaps the fault of the writers, is what she said to Weiss during their talk.

“My mom left me. Ruby’s mom left too. Tai was always busy with school and Ruby couldn’t even talk yet. I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone.”

A small mention to the Ruby line. It might be intentional, or a result of the writers keeping the timeline very vague and as such impacting the story, but Ruby would’ve been talking if she was old enough to remember what Summer Rose looked like in that amount of detail. Children start talking when they’re eighteen to twenty-four months old, and Ruby would’ve been older than that. 

The main thing with this quote is how Yang deals with Summer Rose’s death. She puts it in the same frame of mind as Raven leaving, despite the fact that Summer didn’t willingly choose to die. It paints Yang with a severely impacted mental state that she can’t emotionally distinguish between someone willingly abandoning her and someone dying on a mission. As a result, we can’t distinguish enough accurately what actually happened or what is being recalled through Yang’s view.

What she says also goes against what canon established beforehand. We were told that Taiyang was overprotective by Ruby’s shared empathy over Penny’s father being overprotective to her, we know that the two girls have a good relationship with their father through their interactions and their reaction to Tai sending Zwei through the mail. Not only that, but Tai was competent in raising the girls enough that Yang had to wait until he left the house before she could go looking for Raven.

These contradictory statements on Taiyang just shows that Yang is not at a good place emotionally to give the audience a clear picture of what her childhood and her father really were like, and that’s not Yang’s fault. As I said before, she was never taught how to handle these negative emotions properly because Taiyang was struggling with his depression, and because of this tragedy, she’s internalised the grief as well as she could. Unfortunately for Yang, this trauma has morphed her personality but her memories too.

Edit: Also another point that I just had to add on, memory in and of itself is extremely unreliable. Most often we remember how we felt with trauma, not exactly what happened, and that leads to a biased perception on a series of events.

That’s the basis for Yang and her mental state, and given that the main source of her PTSD has been dealt with, we can hopefully see a proper resolution with her dealing with these negative coping mechanisms and become more open about her feelings with her friends. 

Thanks for reading guys, see you all later!

[leiascully]

Fic: Bunkmates

Some weird bunk beds tumblr started following me and this fic fell out:

“We only got one room left,” says the clerk at the counter, comfortable in her swivel chair.  She twists back and forth gently as she looks at them, wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the mascot of the local state university branch, the kind of obscure campus everyone remembers only after snapping their fingers and shaking their heads.

Scully glances at Mulder.  He looks back, implacable to everyone but her.  But she can see the amusement in his eyes, the lift of his eyebrow measured in angstroms.  Well, they shared a room in Kansas.  They can share again.  At this point, the distinction between them seems artificial.  They’ve napped together on planes and in cars, closer quarters than a single motel room.  They’ve been trapped together in the belly of a fungus and huddled for warmth on a ship full of ghosts.  They’ll manage to negotiate a single bed.  Besides, this is the only place in town with any vacancies at all.  There’s some kind of agricultural event and the whole town is buzzing with farm types.

“We’ll take it,” she says sliding the Bureau’s credit card over the counter.  

“Oh, it’s kind of a themed room?” the clerk says.  She looks like she’s enjoying herself.  She probably doesn’t check in too many out-of-towners in Armani suits.  Scully knows they look stiff and ridiculous compared to all the people in Carhartt jackets and overalls.  She tries to imagine Mulder in a worn, sweat-stained baseball cap.  Somehow it’s a more extreme possibility than a lot of the things she’s seen.

“A themed room?” Mulder asks.

“Yeah,” the clerk says, swiping the card.  “I don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

Scully smiles tightly.  It’s probably what passes for a honeymoon suite in this place, a heart-shaped bed and lurid red wallpaper.  If she wakes up with her feet tangled in Mulder’s calves at the point of the heart, at least he won’t be sharing her pillow.  The clerk passes back the card along with the receipt and two keys.  She winks.

“Y’all enjoy your stay,” she says.  “We got a continental breakfast right here in the lobby starting at 5:30, everything baked right here in town.  Might even have some eggs if Bobby’s hens get inspired.”

“Thank you,” Scully says, sounding uncomfortable even to herself.  

The room is at the end of the row, at least: in Scully’s experience, fewer neighbors begets a better motel stay.  The number on the door is carved into a woodsy plaque.  Whoever owns this place does take pride in it.  Mulder opens the door, stares into the room, and pulls it shut again.  He looks at her, eyes dancing.

“Okay,” he says.  “Guess the theme.”

“Honeymoon suite,” she says wearily.  

“Now I know where your head’s at,” he teases, looking her up and down.  They’ve been dancing closer and closer to each other lately.  “But no.  At least, I don’t think so.”

“Mulder, I’m tired,” she says, and pushes open the door.

Bunk beds.  The room has bunk beds.  It’s clearly designed for parents who want their kids close, but not in the same room. There’s an adjoining door in the wall that’s she’s going to make sure is very securely locked, and a set of sturdy beds on the opposite side of the room.  The wall behind them is painted in something approaching a nautical scene: portholes and rivets.  It’s ironic in this decisively landlocked town.  The bottom bunk is slightly wider than the top one, so that the ladder slants up instead of being a straight climb.  The covers are shades of blue and white.  The pillowcases have waves on them.  There are cartoon fish stuck to the mirror.

Scully closes the door.  Mulder is trying not to laugh.  She shakes her head, opens the door, and hauls her suitcase into the room.  

“I call bottom,” Mulder says, easing past her and sprawling on the wide lower bunk.  

“I want the bottom,” Scully says.

“Too late, I called dibs,” Mulder tells her.  “It’s actually pretty comfortable.”

“You’re tall,” she says.  “You should take the top.”

“Because I’m accustomed to the rareified air at such altitudes?” he scoffs.  “You should take the top.  That ladder’s not scaled for my build.”

“I thought you had boyish agility,” Scully says.

“That only applies to trees, not ladders,” Mulder tells her.

“Thanks for clarifying,” she says, hands on her hips as she surveys the ladder.

“Buy me dinner and I may let you share my bunk,” he says, patting the mattress next to him.  She remembers their few days of playacting in the suburbs, their ersatz marriage.  

“That’s a full bed at best,” she says.  “Close quarters.”

“I don’t mind,” he tells her.

“The Bureau’s buying us dinner,” she reminds him.  “So unless you’re willing to share that bed with Skinner, you might be out of luck.”

“Romance is dead,” he says solemnly.

She thinks of the question she wants to ask him.  Is it better or worse that he can’t take things seriously?  Is it better or worse that he’s so much more than her closest friend?  He must see some change in her face, because he scrambles up.

“Just kidding, Scully,” he says.  “I’ll take the top if that’s what you want.”

“It’s okay,” she says.  “If you’re that afraid of heights, Mulder, all you have to do is tell me.”

“As a psychologist, I recognize and do not fall prey to your baiting,” he says. 

“If we find a place with pie, I’ll buy you a slice of pie for the bottom bunk,” she tells him. 

“Coconut cream?” he asks, sauntering up to her.  

“I can’t guarantee any particular flavor at this time,” she says, gazing up at him.  Maybe she’ll buy him pie and then let him crawl into bed next to her.  Mulder, in these situations, tries to be a gentlemen, but his protective instincts or some deeper yearning overwhelm his conscious carefulness.  She’s sure if she allows it, she’ll wake up with his arm thrown over her, his body pressed snugly against hers.  Maybe tonight is the night she lets that happen, instead of staring up into the darkness wondering what would happen if she let him in.

“If there’s no pie, I’ll let you wrestle me for it,” he offers.  “Or maybe we’ll both learn a lesson about the importance of sharing.”

“We’ll see,” she says, “but I have faith in pie.”

“Let’s see if your faith pays off,” he says, opening the door.  “Otherwise, you’ll be enjoying the view from the top deck.”

(There is pie, of course.  There’s always pie.  Scully’s faith is redeemed and Mulder can’t even pretend to sulk as he savors every mouthful and she thinks about kissing the taste of whipped cream - the real stuff, made every morning in the restaurant’s kitchen by the proud eight-year-old child of the owners - off his lips.  He buys a half-pie to go, which earns him grins from the cashiers and the locals despite their out-of-place uniforms.  “Midnight snack,” he explains to Scully, and she smiles at him.  There is something pure about this moment: his pleasure, the crowd’s approval, her vicarious enjoyment of the pie.  He will try to tempt her with it later, hoping to share the experience, because Mulder is generous when it comes to joy.  She thinks she’ll indulge.)

[attack-on-multifandom]

Come Here, Brat

Pairing: Levi x reader

Warnings: mentions of blood, mild language

Summary: Being on your period can be horrible but with Levi around it’s not so bad

A/N: I wrote this on Saturday when my cramps were really bad and it turned out really fluffy and okay so on the off chance someone reads this I hope you enjoy haha💕💖

Getting out of bed that morning you could already tell today was going to be a shitty day. How exactly? The cramps in your uterus and the blood stained on your sheets is how.

You absolutely hated being on your period and being in the Survey Corps whilst also being on your period added to your hatred because you still had to train despite the overwhelming sensation of pain from the cramps and the overall feeling of crappiness that comes with this cursed cycle.

After changing your bed sheets and cleaning yourself up to start this terrible today, you made your way to the mess hall where everyone was eating breakfast.

You got some porridge and bread and sat at your table with the rest of your friends from the 104th cadet squad who sensing your irritation made the smart decision to leave you alone whilst you ate. Even Jean and Eren knew better then to tease you for your menstrual cycle in fear of you breaking every bone in their bodies.

Despite the pain and irritation, your morning was going okay until the one man who threatened to ruin it walked in with a steaming cup of black tea and took a seat at the superiors table next to one of your good friends, Hange.

Why did this man hold such power as to ruin your already pretty bad morning? Well that is because you had a not so little crush on the stoic corporal known as Levi Ackerman.

You’ve had this crush on him ever since you laid eyes one him and you really couldn’t blame yourself. You shifted your gaze so you could take in his appearance, dark raven hair that neatly framed his pale face, cold grey eyes that took in his surroundings in boredom, chapped lips that you so badly wanted to feel against your own.

You quickly averted your gaze however, when you felt his grey eyes land on you, an eyebrow raised as to question why you were creepily staring at him for so long.

Although you thought he was heartbreakingly handsome, strong, caring (despite what he wanted people to think), and just downright amazing, you knew you never had a chance with him and that he would never see you in the way you saw him which is why just is mere presence was enough to bring down your morning already more then is had been.

Sighing, you got up and put away your tray, mentally and physically preparing for the hard trading you were to endure despite all the pain you already felt.

_________________________________

Just like you thought training was horrible and extremely painful and to make it worse, the person supervising your training today was none other than the corporal himself.

“Alright listen up brats, first we’re going to start off with combat training and starting us off will be cadet Jaeger and cadet (L/N).”

You winced upon hearing your name being called out first while Eren threw you a sympathetic glance knowing your current condition.

“Hey (Y/N) I’ll try to go easy on you, okay?”

You smiled, grateful for how understanding Eren was being.

“Thanks Eren it means a lot.”

As promised, Eren did go pretty easy on you but even so, you still were in no shape to really fight and at one point you hissed in pain and fell to the ground not because of anything Eren did, but because your cramp pain was so intense it managed to bring you down all on its own; costing you the fight.

“Oi, (L/N), what the hell was that he didn’t even hit you! 20 laps then I want to see you in my office!” You heard Levi yell at you causing anger and anxiety to well up inside you. Anger at the fact you had to run with the severe pain you were feeling and anxiety at having to be alone with Levi in his office. Everyone again looked at you sympathetically as you began your torturous run.

________________________________

When you were done you felt like death itself and you sure looked liked it. Your face was pale, you were trembling a bit, and you all together looked like someone was stabbing you in the uterus which is what it felt like.

Upon reaching Levi’s door, you knocked on it anxiously and waited for his response. “Name and business,” came the monotonous voice that could only belong to your corporal.

“Cadet (Y/N) (L/N) you wanted me to see you, sir,” you replied, your voice croaky and sounding like you had a sore throat which surprised you.

“Come in cadet.”

You opened the door to see Levi engrossed in paperwork at his desk as you made your way to the chair in front of his desk. He looked up from his work to take in your appearance which caused his eyes to widen just a smidge.

“You look like shit,” he stated matter of factly causing you to snort at his blunt comment. “Thank you, sir, I try, now why was I called in here?” You questioned as the irritation began to build.

“You were called in because of your lack of effort and shit performance today you gave during your one on one with Jaeger,” the corporal explained, annoyance present in his voice.

“Well all I can say is it wasn’t my fault and there were other things that played into my ‘shit performance’, now can I go captain, I really would like to lie down.”

You usually wouldn’t address Levi in such a rude and disrespectful manner, in fact you would probably be a blushing mess while your head hung in shame for disappointing him, but today you were tired, in pain, and bleeding and all you wanted was to make a cup of tea and take a nap.

“You can leave, cadet, when I dismiss you, and what are these ‘things’ that made you fight that horribly?”

You didn’t respond embarrassed to admit to him your ailment. “Answer me when I ask you a question cadet,” he snapped after a moment of silence.

“I’m on my period!” You shouted as the irritation in you overcame any other rational thought you had.

“Oh.”

Levi wasn’t 100% sure about what having a period entailed, but what he did know was that it could be very painful and unbeknownst to you, he cared for you and returned your romantic feelings so the thought of you being in that much pain worried him and caused him distress, wanting to help you feel better.

Levi sighed and got up from his chair as he began to walk to his bedroom that connected to his office. “Come here, brat,” he said softly once he noticed you weren’t following him. You complied with his wish although you were a bit confused.

As you entered his bedroom you were unsurprised that it was in spotless condition considering his clean freak tendencies.

“You can change into one of my shirts and then I want you to lay down on the bed, okay?”

You’re eyes widened in disbelief at his request which caused him to roll his eyes. “It’s nothing weird I’m just trying to help you, (Y/N),” he told you honestly which caused your eyes to widen even more at the fact he called you by your first name.

“Sir-“

“Levi when we’re alone.”

This man just kept surprising you.

“Levi, why are you doing this for me?”

Levi didn’t answer and simply relished in the way his name sounded coming from your lips while throwing you one of his shirts that would be quite large on you.

“Change into that and make yourself comfortable while I go make you some tea,” he more or less ordered and you just nodded, your heart swelling at everything Levi was doing for you.

When Levi returned, you had changed into his shirt that reached your mid thigh, and you were lying down on his bed, loving the way it smelled just like him. “Here you go, brat,” Levi said while handing you the tea he made. “I talked to shitty glasses and she told me this tea was the best for your, uh, situation,” he muttered a barely noticeable pink tinted on his cheeks.

You smiled brightly at him bringing the cup to your lips to taste the tea. “Thanks Levi, it tastes wonderful,” you complimented while he only grunted as he took some clothes out of his drawer and went into his bathroom to change.

When he exited, he was in much more comfortable clothes as he made his way to his bed and got in next to you. “S-Sir?” You squeaked as he took the tea from you and set it on his bedside.

“I told you to call me Levi when we’re alone brat, and shitty glasses also told me that cuddling also helps with the pain so that’s what we’re going to do.”

You stared at him confusion and surprise in your bright (E/C) eyes, but soon your gaze softened and you nodded in approval and appreciation. “Okay,” came your soft reply as he gently wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his embrace. His hands soothingly rubbed your back and occasionally moved to rub your stomach as he kept his protective hold on you.

You snuggled into his strong chest and wrapped your arms around him as well. “Hey Levi?” You whispered afraid to break the calm silence. “Hm?” He hummed back his lips softly grazing the area of your forehead.

“I really like you and thank you for making me feel better.”

You swore you could feel a smile form on his lips and he pressed a warm, loving kiss to your forehead. “I like you a lot too (Y/N),” he whispered back before pressing a gentle kiss to your lips leaving you smiling while a tiny one formed on his lips as well. If this is what happens every time you got your period, you were sure looking forward to the next one.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 17 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

Len is hovering by the door again, wondering if he should go in or not.

On one hand: it's Mick.

This is all so characteristic of him, really. Just when Len is losing hope, just when the doctors are starting to give up, Mick decides it’s time to defy expectations yet again and struggle his way back to consciousness in dramatic fashion. And not the momentary, illusory consciousness that Len's become accustomed to, moments where Mick's eyes would flicker open and his mouth would move in empty, meaningless syllables.

Real consciousness.

Mick's back.

He's alive, he's - not intact, no, but he's been acing all of the doctors' cognitive tests and he remembers all the facts and dates and events that he should.

He's grumpy and irritable over the food quality and friendly with the nurses while being a jackass to the surgeons and all in all is just so very Mick Rory that it makes Len want to cry just from sheer relief and having missed him so damn much.

(He may or may not have taken a few hours in a convenient hospital storage closet to do just that, father-imposed inability to shed proper tears aside; the world will never know for sure.)

So obviously Len should go in and talk to him.

On the other hand...this is Mick.

The man Len betrayed for years, being a cop without ever telling him. The man who rescued Len anyway. The man who paid the price for it.

And oh, what a price - two-thirds of his body covered in burns, now twisted into scars despite the best efforts of the medical establishment. Serious deterioration and atrophy of his muscles from being in a coma. Bed sores, a swollen throat from routine intubation, scars on his lungs, urinary tract infections...

His strong body, which he was always so proud of, decaying away around him like a living corpse - and all Len's fault.

Len was always willing to accept that bargain: that he’d take Mick's anger or hatred, whatever, anything, anything at all, as long as Mick woke up as himself. But sitting there with an unconscious man and wishing for that to happen is pretty different from actually having to walk inside the hospital room and face the music.

And so he hovers, wondering, debating, searching for some sort of sign of what he should do -

"Snart. Stop skulking around out there and get in here."

Well. That's certainly clear enough.

Len creeps into the room.

Mick is -

Mick is beautifully, wonderfully alive, and honest to God, everything else is so much less important that Len can't remember why he was so reluctant to come in.

Of course, then he tries to open his mouth and say something, realizes he has no idea what to say because months of rehearsing apologies is apparently rendered totally useless after a month of total panicked despair followed by frenzied overwhelming delight and relief, and he abruptly remembers what was stopping him.

What does he even say? How does he even start?

"Where are you showering?" Mick asks.

...on Len's list of ways this conversation could go, that wasn't really one of them.

"Showering?" Len asks incredulously.

"Showering," Mick confirms. "You like to shower in the mornings, it’s morning now, and your very friendly piece of skirt tells me you haven't left the hospital in days. So you gotta be showering somewhere here."

"There's a shower in the nurse's wing," Len says blankly. "Why - wait, what piece of skirt? Do you mean Danvers?"

"Yeah, her," Mick says. "Skirt. She was wearing one – red skirt, with mesh leggings underneath, and also a cute but very concealing sweater with the puppy holding the ice cream cone. She says you know the one...?"

Len is, in fact, familiar with that outfit; it's Danvers' go-to security blanket outfit, the one she wears when she's stressing over something. Usually over Len being dumb, if he's being honest.

Hmm. He really has been living at the hospital the past few days, hasn't he?

"Yeah," Len says. "Definitely Danvers. When'd you see her, anyway?"

His accent slips deeper whenever he's around Mick, he notices; a little less nasal overall, but affecting more words, adding more shortenings and dropping more words. A silent sign of how instinctively comfortable he is in Mick's presence, no matter how stressed he is.

"You were apparently unconscious in a chair in the hallway at the time," Mick says with shrug he aborts with a wince halfway through. "She wanted to introduce herself, set me up with a new phone and group-chat and some shit like that, have me sign some papers -"

"Papers?" Len asks sharply. He'll - deal with Mick actually having a chance to read Danvers' long-threatened group-chat logs later. As far later as possible. "What papers?"

"Apparently I've been suing the police department for being dickheads while I've been out cold and now that I'm awake she needs me to agree to keep it going," Mick says.

Len barely manages to keep from laughing. Of course Danvers would remember that lawsuit Len had some lawyer file in a fit of agonized grief right after it all happened, even though Len himself has long forgotten all about it. How had he ever managed without a personal assistant before now?

"Didn't really ask much past that," Mick continues. "You know I never miss a chance to stick it to the pigs."

Len flinches.

Right.

Trust Mick to bring up the elephant in the room right away.

Mick hates cops.

Len’s been one for years.

Mick just looks at Len steadily. "You never told me," he says quietly. "Why?"

"It wasn't true when we first met in juvie," Len says miserably, hovering by the familiar chair next to Mick's bed but not actually sitting down. "And when we hooked back up later on, started working together on jobs just once in a while, I was brand new and just absolute shit at it, paranoid as fuck. Barely even spoke to the one or two guys that did know, my handlers with the CCPD and the Feds; didn't feel safe enough. And by the time I pulled my head outta my ass, it'd been years and we were partners and I knew you hated pigs and I didn't want you to hate me and -"

Mick starts laughing.

Not in a scornful or miserable way, the way Len might have feared it would be, but actual real deep laughter of the sort he hasn't heard from Mick in far, far too long.

"What?" Len asks, suspicious. "What'd I say?"

"I thought it was 'cause you didn't trust me," Mick chokes out between belly laughs that are probably hurting him. "I shoulda known it was because you're just an idiot. Same as always."

"Hey!" Len protests automatically.

Not that he takes any offense - he knows Mick calls him an idiot because that's how Mick demonstrates affection, with friendly insults and ribbing and casual death threats.

But he's not an idiot!

At the very least he doesn't think he's done anything that qualifies him to be called an idiot at this exact moment, anyway.

"Fine, then," Mick says, getting better control over himself - probably better for his health and well-being - though he still has a giant shit-eating grin on his face. "Not an idiot. A goober that can't do social situations for shit, that better?"

"Not really."

"S'true though."

"It ain't! I can do social shit! I do social shit just fine!"

"Even when you're not conning someone?"

"Even when I'm not conning someone!"

After all, Len assures himself, Barry totally continued to want to date him even after he'd stopped trying to con him...

Maybe that's not the best example.

"Uh-huh," Mick says, looking amused. There are little wrinkles of laughter by his eyes; Len hadn't noticed those, before. Amazing what months of memorizing a person's slack unconscious face will reveal. "Lemme guess. That'd be this Barry Allen guy Danvers' chats keep mentioning."

"...you've read them."

That emotion he's feeling right now - is it horror, extra horror, or extreme horror?

Mix of all of the above, clearly.

"Oh yeah. I've definitely read them," Mick says gleefully. "But I wanna hear about it from you directly."

"Mick."

"Don't you 'Mick' me. I've got no other entertainment right now, and you know I like romance shit."

"You like pulp sci-fi and ninja romance stuff, not just romance," Len objects. "This story..."

He trails off, considering for a moment.

"Well, it ain't got ninjas," he finally says. "As far as I know, anyway, though there was a weird mention once or twice of something fucked up happening Starling, I dunno. And it might've been a bit romantic, but right now it's mostly just tragic."

"Tell me about it anyway."

"Tell you about what?" Len complains, finally taking a seat next to Mick on his bed. There's a chair, too, but chairs are for losers who don't get to sit on comfy beds with their best friends who, amazingly, appear to be forgiving them for - well, everything. How Mick can do that sort of thing, Len has no idea. "There's nothing to it. I got bored in between investigating the million and one corrupt assholes in the CCPD and find out this one guy who's been acting suspicious apparently disappeared for nine months, supposedly in a coma, but then reappeared with no damage and these amazing abs -"

"No kidding, I've seen the pics."

"Goddamnit, I’m gonna gut Danvers; those are technically evidence and she shouldn't be sharing them. Anyway, turns out he ain't corrupt, he's just a fucking superhero. Who'd have thought, you know?"

"Not really anyone's first guess," Mick agrees.

"And first I think he's okay, you know," Len continues. He's ranting. He's aware that he's ranting. He can't seem to stop himself from ranting. "Because he's kind and friendly and optimistic and he's got this stupid smile that lights up the room, but I'm thinking no way anyone's this perfect, he's gotta be up to something, but I get this idea in my head that it must be that he's investigating the superhero - this is all happening before I figure out he is the superhero, that is - so I start dating him anyway -"

"Dates go well?"

"Amazingly. He legitimately thinks my puns are funny."

"Clearly a match made in some level of punster hell," Mick says.

"Shut up, puns are funny."

"Lowest form of wit."

"Lowest circle of hell's supposed to be cold, so I guess it fits," Len says, rolling his eyes. "Did I tell you yet that he thought for a while that I was a supervillain named Captain Cold? That's my new nickname at the precinct."

"No, but that's hilarious. You always did like your cold puns. Actually, you probably didn't know it, but people – criminals, that is – sometimes called you Ice-heart Snart."

"That's...awful. I'm glad I didn't know about that."

"No kidding. Captain Cold's much better. So he thought all of that about you and dated you anyway?"

"No, he didn't realize I was the Internal Affairs guy at first; I didn't tell him ‘cause I was investigating him. Anyway - wait, where was I?"

"Amazing dates," Mick prompts.

"Well, they were," Len says. "Absolutely amazing. Best I've ever had - just talking and laughing and just being happy hanging out and all that stuff that comes right out of that romance stuff you're always on about - and then, of course, just as I start thinking that I finally got lucky, it all blows up in my face. Turns out he's just as bad as I thought when I first started looking into him, and I should be happy to be proven right except for some reason I'm not, and now I can't stop thinking about how awfully he's gonna do in prison when he finally gets sent there like he deserves. I feel like shit about it and I don't know why -"

"Of course you don't," Mick says, sounding amused. "You wouldn't."

Len eyes him suspiciously. "You say that like you do know."

No way. Mick's been in a freaking coma; how could he have figured out what the hell's going on with Len's emotional state before Len did?

"Lenny," Mick says, sounding just a bit patronizing. "I might be a blockhead, but I've been interpreting your emotions for you since juvie. 'course I know."

"You're not a blockhead," Len protests automatically, always on guard against anyone - even Mick - putting down Mick's intelligence. He hates it when people do that; Mick's one of the smartest guys he knows, even if he doesn't talk all that pretty. "You just don't got as much education as some, s'all."

Though Mick's got a point about Len's emotions.

Not that Len's going to ask him to explain.

It doesn't matter, after all, what's done is done. Who cares how he feels about it?

Who cares about understanding why Len feels like he got a shiv to the gut every time he even thinks about Barry - about Allen, damnit - and a feeling like he swallowed crushed glass but also a weird kind of happiness left over from when every thought of Barry brought him joy?

Who cares -

Len. Len cares. Len cares a lot.

"Okay, I'll bite," he says, giving in. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"You're in love with him," Mick says. "Obviously."

...what?

No.

Impossible.

In love? Len doesn't do love.

Len's never done love, or at least not love like that - love for Lisa, love for Mick, yes, but not the stupid sort of Valentine's Day love, the type you read about in novels that you don't admit to reading, the type that makes the world turn around you and leaves you breathless and chokes in your throat, ripping your heart out of your chest because it belongs to someone else who doesn't care as much as you care, and leaves you with an awful gaping hole in your belly whenever you think about the fact they're going to go away for good somewhere where you won't see that optimistic smile or hear that laugh or -

Shit.

Shit.

"...I really am an idiot that can't do social situations for shit," Len says aloud, realizing.

"You really are," Mick says, but he sounds fond. "Don't worry; I came to terms with that years ago."

"But I can't be in love with him," Len says, trying so desperately to shove that knowledge back under the river of denial where it came from that he doesn't even make a de-Nile pun like he usually does. "I can't! He - he's - he's done unforgivable things – kidnapping, imprisonment, solitary – literal war crimes – and he should've known better, he's corrupt -"

"Sounds to me like he made some mistakes -"

"Mistakes?!" Len yowls.

Mick holds up a hand. "Okay, fine, yeah, some of those mistakes are crimes, some might even be war crimes, but seriously, Snart, if you stopped liking someone just because they committed a couple of horrific crimes, you and me, we wouldn't be friends."

"It's not the same thing!" Len protests.

"I'm an arsonist, Lenny; I literally murder people sometimes."

"Usually as an unintended side effect," Len says dismissively. Intent matters, when it comes to criminal stuff; most of the time Mick could be blamed for nothing worse than negligent manslaughter and that's only technically murder. Len checked. "He's corrupt, Mick. He put himself out as being a hero, as someone doing the right thing, as someone upholding the law, and all the while he's doing stuff like that in the shadows...I can't be in love with someone like that, Mick. I can't. Look what corruption did to you! Look what it did to me and Lisa, when it was my dad! Look what -"

Mick catches Len's hands, which Len has been waving angrily in the air.

"Don't move like that!" Len exclaims, losing his prior train of thought immediately. "Your muscles aren't used to sudden movement; you'll hurt yourself!"

"It hurt," Mick says. "It was still worth it. Boss, you're spiraling."

"I'm - what?"

"Spiraling. My shrink told me about it; you get stuck in a mental rut and you can't get out of it, so you just go in circles, on and on, torturing yourself with all your bad thoughts. In this case, it's me." Mick squeezes Len's hands. "You've been torturing yourself with what happened to me. Except instead of thinking about it and dealing with it and getting over it, you've poured everything you feel into your war on corruption, focused so much on it that you're seeing unforgivable corruption and betrayal every way you look. But you don't gotta keep doing that. I'm here. I'm okay. I'm alive."

Len stares at Mick.

His hands, still enclosed in Mick's, start shaking. His shoulders, too, and he can't seem to make them stop.

"You're alive," Len croaks, suddenly finding it hard to talk. He’d known Mick was alive and mostly well for a while now, couple of days, but it suddenly feels like he’s learning it all over again. "You're alive. You're alive and you're talking and you're you and - fuck, Mick, I nearly lost you."

"I know."

"I can't do this shit without you," Len says, desperate now. "Any of it. Life, the universe, everything; it doesn't matter. I need you by my side, Mick. I need my partner - I need my best friend. It all turns to ash without you."

"I'm here," Mick says, strong and solid and dependable as ever. "You've got me."

"I don't -" Deserve you, Len is about to say, only he chokes on it; he never knew he felt that way. "I lied to you. For years. By omission, by commission...I put my job above our partnership. I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have. You're more important - you're the most important. I ain't never gonna put anything above you ever again. Not work, not romance, not anything nor anyone. Not anything. I'm so goddamn sorry, Mick. Not just for what I did to you, for what happened, but for the lying. For all of it."

"You're an idiot," Mick says, and he squeezes Len's hands again. "Total idiot. Boss, it's fine. Really. I get it. I get why you made that choice - especially now that I know it was all about your issues, not about me and what you thought of me. Even before that, though, I got it. I knew you were a pig and I came to get you anyway, remember? Through gunfire and furious Families, and that's saying something."

Len nods mutely.

"I did it because we're partners," Mick tells him. "And we're always gonna be partners. Always gonna be friends, even if you do something dumb like lie to me or fall in love with a target of your investigation before you finish investigating him -"

"Hey," Len protests, but weakly. Mick has a point. A very good point.

"No matter what, it doesn't matter," Mick concludes. "You and me against the world, remember? That ain't changed."

Len nods, and turns his hands to squeeze Mick's hands back.

"Now for the love of fuck can we please stop talking about feelings?" Mick asks, almost begging. "You really don't pay me enough to be your shrink. You couldn't. You could offer me all of Fort Knox and I wouldn't be your shrink."

Len snorts, maybe a little wetly but not from tears because he doesn't do tears, and pulls back his hands. "Yeah, sure, we can stop. I think I hit my yearly quota of feelings there."

"No kidding," Mick says fervently. "You hit yours, and mine, and then mine again a few time. I'll let you off the hook this one time, just 'cause I know you've been saving it up the whole time I was out, but still, for someone who likes to say he don't got a heart, you sure got a hell of a lot to say. Oh, and don't think I didn't notice you slipping that 'ash' pun in there."

"Ash is the right word!" Len protests. "Just because it's fire-related don't mean it's always a pun!"

"With you, it's always a pun," Mick says firmly.

Len laughs. If it's a little more hysterical and sounds a bit more like sobs than it normally does, they'll both be more than willing to overlook that.

As they like to remind each other, they don’t have hearts – or at least they know to keep them well hidden.

(God, Mick is Len's best friend - how did he last so long without him? No wonder everything's been screwing up left and right while he's gone.)

"Hey, wait a minute," Mick says thoughtfully, "while we're talking about this shit, before we shove it all down the memory hole, tell me - how come you never had to turn me in? I did plenty of crimes while we were running as thieves."

"Were running?" Len echoes, alarmed, and he looks down at Mick's legs to see if something's happened to them in the last few minutes. The doctors told him Mick would get his mobility back, or at least most of it, and his legs aren't as affected as his back and shoulders. There should be no impact on his ability to run, or at least to walk quickly. Or does Mick know something he doesn't...?

"Yeah, I hear through the grapevine that you got yourself a new job," Mick says dryly. "Not much thieving to be done there. Plus I figure it might be time to retire from the whole thief thing myself, too, all things considered."

"Ah. Right. I forgot."

Metaphorically running, right, that's an option.

"Don't go forgetting you quitting crime, boss; it's a kinda big deal. You really got a business card like Skirt says?"

"Yeah, it's awful," Len says. "Stamped, embossed proof that I'm legit now."

"Embossed," Mick marvels. "Now I know I gotta retire, if you've shifted over to doing the hunting."

"I'm Internal Affairs, actually," Len says. "I only hunt corrupt cops, district attorneys, and other government employees, not criminals."

"Really? Huh. Shoulda known you'd find a loophole – crime-fighting without actual crime-fighting."

"What can I say? I'm very good at what I do," Len sniffs, smiling when Mick laughs - finally getting the double meaning that's always been there. "And, uh, about your crimes -"

"Yeah?"

"So, I might've registered you as a CI couple of years ago," Len confesses, deciding that exactly how many years constituted a couple was an open question up for debate. Couple could totally mean a decade plus. "Proper legal confidential informant for both the CCPD and the Feds. Then after a few years of that, I got you swapped over to being classified as full undercover -"

"Wait," Mick says, alarmed. "You telling me the reason all of my prison sentences were so short was 'cause the judges all thought I was a pig?!"

"You didn't care about the reason back then!"

"I'm a pig?!"

"No, you never went to police academy, you ain't a pig," Len says, rolling his eyes. "I told 'em you were working for me as a non-officer agent, and it ain't like they really care about a few arsons when they've got the whole set of Families to take down. You're a snitch at best."

Mick considers this.

"I'm okay with being a rat," he finally decides. "I like rats. They're cute. Remember Axl?"

Len does remember Mick's pet rat Axl. Mick doted on him, and even Len got pretty fond. They ended up having to find him a new owner - a woman with a gigantic rat cage that took up half the living room, which both she and Mick agreed was the right balance of pet-to-owner space (Len thought they were both nuts) - and he lived to a ripe old age with god-knows-how-many descendants.

"But seriously," Mick continues, "they actually all bought that? Didn't they ever ask you why I was willing to do all that work without being paid?"

"Well. Actually..."

"Boss. Boss, no. I know that tone of voice. You telling me I got paid? Is there some savings account somewhere with my name forged on it that you conveniently never told me about?"

"Maybe."

Mick rolls his eyes, grinning; he knows that's as good as a yes. "Anything else you'd like to tell me while we're at it?"

Len considers this. "...did Danvers' group-chat mention my cold gun?" he finally asks, reaching down and patting the piece in question. He'd been carrying it with him in case Barry tried to come confront him or something, though luckily Barry hasn't.

Barry wouldn't. He knows that, now that he's thinking a bit more calmly. Not at a hospital, certainly, but not ever. He wouldn't force his presence on Len like that, thinking he was unwanted.

"At length, yeah," Mick says dryly. "Your new baby."

"Well," Len says, ignoring that. So what if his gun is the best, sweetest girl he's ever seen, once you exclude Lisa from the calculations? "What Danvers doesn't know is that it came as part of a set - one cold gun, one heat gun."

"Heat gun? Like a flamethrower?"

"Better - it manipulates the intensity of infrared waves. You can light anything on fire."

"Boss," Mick says. "I've already forgiven you for the whole pig thing. You don't need to heap on the presents."

"You saying you don't want it?"

"You bet your ass I want it!" Mick exclaims, laughing. "Man, I'm gonna need to thank this Allen guy when I meet him; you never used to give out such good gifts."

Len flinches. Just a little, but Mick notices, of course.

"Boss?"

"You won't, uh, you won't exactly be meeting him," Len says. "Anytime...ever."

"Why not?"

"Because after I found out about the secret prison thing, I had his foster dad arrested for corruption, got warrants to search the homes of his two best friends, and got Barry suspended from his job without pay pending investigation. So I don't think he's really in the mood to talk to me."

"...shit, boss," Mick says after a long few minutes. "You sure love to put the 'over' in 'over-reaction', don't you?"

"They committed crimes," Len says defensively. "Very bad crimes. And they should've known better!"

"Boss! Ain't you the one always telling me about how intent matters? Ain't they being manipulated by some mastermind creep asshole who's good enough to be playing the Families? Even criminal courts don't consider stuff done under duress and deception to be as bad!"

Len winces. That's...not actually wrong. Sure, they committed some fairly horrific crimes and they totally should've known better, but there were some extenuating circumstances he probably ought've thought a bit more about. Any man who could play not just one but multiple Families clearly had an edge when it came to mind games - and don't think Len hasn't noticed the way Barry'd described the toxic atmosphere and emotional jibes and the almost parental relationship the guy set up in his office, which is the sort of environment that can convince even otherwise intelligent people to do seriously shady things.

It's not an excuse, not at all. But it is something of an explanation. Probably not enough to knock down the charge from primary to accessory, but a judge could definitely look at that and find lots there to help mitigate -

"Boss..."

"I know, I know! You don't understand, I was just really angry -"

"Boss!" someone that is definitely not Mick exclaims, bursting through the door. "We've found something!"

Len is off the bed, one crutch in the air wielded as a club, before they even finish the sentence, and then he realizes it's just Detective Thawne and Iris.

"Oh, it's you," he says blankly. "How'd you even know to find me here?"

"Uh," Thawne says, eying the raised crutch warily. "Ms. Danvers told us. Pretty reluctantly. You - wanna put that crutch down? You're looking a bit unsteady."

Len rolls his eyes and does, sitting back down.

"Does that work?" Iris asks. "As an improvised weapon, I mean?"

"Better than you'd think," Len says dryly.

"How come he's still got crutches, anyway?" Mick asks from his bed. "Ain't it been months since he got fucked up?"

"Apparently he keeps tearing his injuries back open," Iris says.

"Damnit, boss..."

"That's not the reason," Len says, even though he kind of does do that more than he should. "It's because the second gunshot nicked my spine and it takes lots longer to heal from that."

"And you keep tearing your injuries back open," Iris says wisely.

"...and that," Len concedes grumpily.

"I'm Iris," she adds, waving at Mick. "Iris West. This is my fiancé, Eddie Thawne. We're helping Captain Snart here investigate the disappearances -"

"Heard of you," Mick says, waving in the general direction of his phone. "Skirt – uh, Danvers – she’s got a group-chat with running commentary up -"

"I want in," Iris says at once. “That sounds amazing.”

"- but you said West, right? Didn't the boss here just..? Why you still working with him after that?"

"Because my dad deserves to get into trouble over this shit," Iris says, an angry glint in her eyes. "Between the lying and the deception and the blatant aiding and abetting of human trafficking, I'm starting to wonder if I ever really knew him at all -"

"Hold up," Len says. "Fiancé? That's new. Congrats, both of you."

That works splendidly to derail Iris, who spends the next few moments showing them both her ring while Thawne blushes and smiles and is entirely unable to look away from Iris, stars in his eyes the whole time.

"Nice," Len says. "Tasteful - pretty, but with some class."

"I'd definitely steal it," Mick agrees.

"Definitely," Len agrees. “I could fence that in minutes.”

"You're both very sweet," Iris says. "And if it ever goes missing, I'll be sure to check with you two first. Anyway, not the point! We came here to tell you that we've figured it out!"

"The Families' 'big day'?" Len asks, immediately interested. "Or Wells' connection to it?"

"Both, actually," Thawne says, brightening. "It's complicated and - well, a little frightening, but we think we have an idea of where the rabbit hole leads, at least, although I wouldn't go as far as Iris and say we actually figured it out."

"We got a good start," Iris says, with dignity. "That's further than most people've gotten."

"And you managed to do it without being 'disappeared', well done you," Len drawls.

"He means that as a compliment," Mick remarks.

"Yes, we gathered," Iris says, grinning at him. "Listen to the tone, not the words, right?"

"Sometimes the tone'll mislead you, but yeah, generally. I usually use body posture - the more lounging, the better his mood."

Len pointedly straightens back up, causing Iris to snigger, Thawne to smile, and Mick to chuckle.

"What's this about Families, though?" Mick asks. "Thought Snart was focused on corrupt cops and government people now."

"I'm sure I can find a police corruption hook somewhere," Len says airily. "You know what they say, you can take the boy out of org crime work..."

"Not a real saying, Snart," Mick says, long-suffering. "Never was."

"Actually, you might have more of a hook than we originally thought," Thawne says. "You see, the Families -"

"Plural?"

"That's right, Mr. Rory -"

"Mick."

"Mick," Iris says with relish. She's going to use this to try to get permission to call Len by his name, he just knows she is. Pity she's doomed to disappointment. "Yes, Families, plural; we've confirmed that all the Families in Central have agreed to work together on this."

"All of 'em? Shit."

"Agreed," Len says.

"Shoulda stayed in the coma..."

"Don't say shit like that or I'll smack you with a crutch," Len tells him, then transfers his attention back to the other two. "So what is it? What's the big day? And, perhaps equally important, when?"

"We can answer your last question best," Thawne says. "We're still not sure exactly what the Families are planning - we know it involves a lot of movement, a lot of manpower, though probably a lot of that is just security - but we've identified what the major Central-wide event they're going to use to conceal their mobilization."

"You're not going to like it," Iris interjects.

"I never liked any part of this," Len points out. "Hit me."

"The Families' big day goes down on Election Day," Thawne says.

"...Election Day," Len says. "Election Day. Election Day?!"

He's pretty sure he's not adequately conveying the sheer horror he's feeling right now.

Election Day.

Not the one held in November, which is all well and good, but the important one for Central City purposes: the primary election that happens each year in May.

The day where the real candidate selection takes place.

Only one of the wildest days of the entire Central City social calendar.

Most of the country has faded into widespread apathy, not bothering with votes that they feel rarely matter, and all the more so when it's "only" a primary – but not Central City.

Oh, no, not Central City, with its still-functioning political machine with its armies of thugs available to help 'encourage' voting. Central City's government might be rife with corruption, yes, and one-party control is practically a given, but at some point some genius decided to deal with the fact that there are competing sources of corruption by allowing a total free-for-all when it came to who got the nod for what position.

Corporate candidates battle it out with nationalists and progressives and reformers and who-the-hell-knows-what-else. In Central, even the communists abandon their flag in favor of competing in the bloodbath of Election Day, knowing that the political machine would force the city - and with it, the state - to fall into line come the federal election day, a far less important date.

Election Day.

And the Families are moving.

Not a good combination.

Especially since –

“Election Day is tomorrow!” he exclaims.

"Yeah," Iris says grimly. "Not good at all. Like Eddie says, we haven't figured out exactly what they're up to, but if it's on Election Day, dollars to donuts is that it involves the election itself."

"And with the Commissioner hoping to run for mayor while the mayor runs for governor, getting anyone's attention to doing anything to stop them will be a trick and a half," Len says, equally grim. "What'd you find out about Wells?"

"We think he's being used as a liaison between the Families and more legitimate entities," Thawne says. "Although why -"

He cuts off in the middle of his sentence.

Quite reasonably, in Len's view, given that they are no longer alone in the room.

The Man in Yellow is here.

The name Barry gave him is apt, Len thinks; far more than the Reverse Flash. Beyond the monstrous speed, there's nothing of Barry here at all, not even a reflection.

Standing in the middle of the room with his entire body vibrating at a consistent blur that Barry hasn't mastered, utterly human but for his demonically bright red eyes, the Man in Yellow smiles.

"Don't let me interrupt you, gentlemen," he says, his voice as blurred as his face. He's being obnoxiously courteous, in a sort of arrogant narcissist way that suggests he's entertaining himself in the moments before he plans to kill them all. "You were saying -"

"And lady," Len interrupts, rising to his feet.

"...what?"

"Gentlemen, and lady," Len says. "I believe Iris identifies as a lady."

"I do," Iris says, looking somewhat perturbed by Len's sudden interest in grammar. "‘Gentlemen and lady’ is in fact correct."

The Man in Yellow - Wells himself, or someone in his employ - blinks those shining red eyes, clearly taken aback.

Len assumes he had some sort of introductory speech planned out. Too bad for him that Len isn’t the type to willingly subject himself to evil monologues.

"Would you like to move on to the part where you threaten to kill us all?" Len inquires. "Or do you generally just go straight to the actual murder?"

The Man in Yellow laughs, the sound ringing through the room. "I usually like to make a point of it," he says, raising a vibrating hand. It's moving as fast as a sawblade - if he touches any of them with that, they're done for. "But I think you're right that I should just move on to the main event -"

Len shoots him with the cold gun he'd wrestled into position while the Man in Yellow was distracted by Len’s grammatical non-sequitur.

The Man in Yellow screams.

"Iris, Thawne, run!" Len shouts, keeping the cold blast aimed dead center at the Man in Yellow's face and torso. He'd theorized, based on what happened when it hit Barry, that a hit straight to the head would be disabling to a speedster as long as the beam was maintained; with such key areas targeted, the speedster's body would prioritize healing the damage over anything else, robbing them of the presence of mind they would need to either run away or attack.

"Come with us!" Iris shouts back.

Len centers his legs, which have started shaking, and exhales through his nose. He needs both hands to aim the gun properly - two hands, which leaves none for his crutches; that's why he's been using the braces whenever he's gone out as Captain Cold. Still, all that PT is finally coming in handy: even without crutches, he can stand.

But not for long.

The second he falls back to sit on the bed, his hands will slip, and the beam will drift off target - only by a little, only for a second, but that's all the Man in Yellow will need to escape.

If he tries to leave, he might be able to keep the beam on him until he reaches the door -

But there's one person in the room who can't leave.

"I ain't leaving Mick," he shouts back. "Get out of here! Find a place to hide!"

Even at superspeed, hiding would force the Man in Yellow to look for them - they certainly can't hope to outrun him.

"You get out too!" Mick snaps even as Iris nods jerkily and hurries out, urged on by Thawne. "Boss -"

"I ain't picking something over you again and that's final!"

"Damnit, Len -"

Len's legs give out.

The Man in Yellow darts out of the beam, snarling in rage, his face - and it does look like Wells under what little is left of that mask, or the pictures Len's seen of him - still covered in ice and burned by swiftly healing frostbite.

And then there's a swift wind.

Len closes his eyes, expecting to die so quickly that he doesn't have time to question it - or perhaps to be taken to be tortured, if that's more Wells' speed -

Heh, speed.

Wait a second.

He hasn't been moved - his side would've been protesting if he had - and he's not dead, because he feels moderately sure he wouldn't be around to continue sniggering at puns if he was.

He opens his eyes.

The room is empty.

Wells is gone -

- but so is Mick.

"Mick!" Len cries out, even though he knows it's futile. The Man in Yellow has him.

Wells has his Mick.

"Snart!" Iris cries out, bursting into the room. There are tears of terror and rage streaming down her cheeks. "Snart - he took Eddie! I saw him - the red lightning! He took Eddie!"

"He took Mick, too," Len says, barely able to process it. He just got Mick back - he just fucking got Mick back after nearly losing him to people who hurt Mick because of Len, and here it is, happening all over again.

Mick wouldn't have been a target to the Families if it wasn't for Len, and what he did and who he was.

Mick wouldn't have been a target to the Man in Yellow, if it wasn't for Len's investigation.

Mick -

Mick, who is still bedridden, who is still hospital-bound, who will die if he didn't have the treatment he needed -

Mick is gone.

[shinneth]

Gem Ascension Tropes (Peridot-specific: I - K)

Reference:

Primary Peri Post ▼ Primary General Post ▼ Full Article

I Am What I Am: While technically in Chartreuse’s form in this moment, Steven’s (as Pink 2.0) intensive Epiphany Therapy towards the end of Chapter 8 of Act III revolves around Peridot’s inner turmoil and self-acceptance regarding her past life as a Manipulative Bastard, which has wracked her with endless guilt since her canon Heel-Face Turn. Said guilt turns out to be what is really inhibiting Peridot’s ability to fuse with Steven. Once it’s lifted when Peridot fully accepts herself, she not only finds that she and Steven can fuse after all, but together fulfill an ancient prophecy as the Diamond of Miracles.

I Gave My Word: Peridot promised herself and everyone else that she’d save everyone trapped on Homeworld and make sure they’re brought home to Earth, and remembering this often helps shake her out a mental funk she’s stuck in.

I Hate Past Me: A major internal issue for Peridot that only gets worse the further she progresses through Homeworld as former repressed memories of how horrible she was as a Homeworld Gem are inadvertently regained. White Diamond actively tortures Peridot by making her watch these memories in Act III, and this ends up weighing down so heavily on Peridot’s conscience that it inhibits her potential for fusion.

I Just Want to Be Special: Peridot is well aware she’s the weakest Crystal Gem, is one of the most common types of gems in existence (as well as the lowest-regarded kind in society) and is destined to be insignificant as an Era 2 gem who will never measure up to her friends. That hasn’t stopped her from going above and beyond to avert this even in her Homeworld days, and now being able to legitimately lead what’s left of the Crystal Gems is Peridot’s opportunity to really stand out and shine. However…

I Just Want to Be Normal: By Act III, it’s revealed Peridot is not only a Chosen One, but a one-of-a-kind Unwitting Test Subject that hasn’t been seen in several millennia. She becomes the first and only ascended gem, capable of being an ordinary gem and a Diamond simultaneously. This consequently makes her the only Era 2 gem with Era 1 capabilities, the only Diamond to be created from another gem, and then there’s her ridiculously powerful ability to conjure things by willing them into existence. All of this is thrown onto Peridot at once, who was determined not to let White Diamond compromise her identity… only to succumb to her fate following a Moment of Weakness. This trope is especially prevalent in Peridot at the very end of GA and all stories following it, as the consequences of her achievements in Act III force Peridot onto a pedestal she doesn’t feel ready for. Ironically, all of this is something Peridot would have been fully on board with prior to her Character Development.

I Let Gwen Stacy Die: Double Subverted with Pumpkin. Celadon Diamond – a fusion of Chartreuse Diamond and White Diamond – killed Pumpkin (while attempting to kill Greg, which he narrowly avoided). While Celadon used willpower (inherited from her Peridot/Chartreuse component) to do the deed, Peridot herself tried to do everything she could to make the fusion hold back. However, resigning to the fusion the way she had made Peridot’s influence on Celadon very limited; White was a much more dominant presence in the fusion, and her desire to kill Steven’s father overpowered Peridot’s resistance. It was only after this happened that Peridot managed to find a way to break the fusion, after several failed attempts. Had she been able to break the fusion earlier, all of this could have been avoided. While Peridot knows it wasn’t fully her fault that she lost Pumpkin, severely injured Greg, and destroyed the Crystal Gems’ spaceship, the fact remains that it was her power that caused this mess. Peridot failed to use her powers to save Pumpkin despite her efforts, and until Steven consoles her later in Act III, she laments that she could have spared Pumpkin, Greg, and their ship from this if only she had been strong enough to break or hold back the fusion. She also could have prevented this if she hadn’t fallen prey to White’s tactics earlier that rendered her emotionally vulnerable, which allowed the Celadon fusion to happen in the first place.

I Lied: Manipulative Bastard Peridot says this verbatim to 9FC in a flashback shown in Chapter 2 of Act III in regards to their friendship.

I Owe You My Life: Peridot wholeheartedly credits her life to Steven. It’s more than him simply liberating her from the oppressive Homeworld life where Individuality is Illegal and giving her a second chance when no one else would. Because he spent so much time teaching Peridot about Earth, as well as talking to her and enjoying life together, Peridot has very good reason to believe her “Great and Lovable” self would never have existed without him. She’s deeply grateful for it and makes sure Steven knows she feels that way several times in the story.

Before this (though it takes a long time for Peridot to remember this), Lapis is similarly credited simply due to coming in just in time before Peridot’s Near-Rape Experience with Jasper went any further than that. Lapis had no intention of saving Peridot; in fact, she was more than willing to let Peridot be subjected to the full extent of being violated for the sake of her own safety. However, Jasper was naturally more drawn to Lapis not only out of instinct, but lust/alleged “love” – meaning Lapis inadvertently took the bullet for Peridot anyway. Several times, at that, while the three were a team together. While the trauma surrounding the incident and Peridot’s own reprehensible behavior during this time were so overwhelming that they had to be fully repressed and nearly forgotten in order for Peridot to function properly after this, she never let herself forget that Lapis did save her from an incident that nearly erased her entire identity – which can be seen as her life being saved. This was the main reason why Peridot went out of her way to be accommodating for Lapis in canon, even at her own expense.

I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Played with. Peridot was fully prepared to be rejected by Steven when it came to the pursuit of a romantic relationship. No matter how jealous she was over her competition, Peridot valued her friendship with Steven far too much to jeopardize it over a selfish desire. She will gladly put Steven’s needs above her own every time. Thankfully for her, it never came to this.

I Will Only Slow You Down: Her rationale when she tells Steven and Garnet to Go on Without Me. White Diamond is just a couple of minutes away, which affords them no time to break the gate with brute force, while Peridot is too fatigued and injured to save herself. While she tries to smile at her friends without showing any tears or sorrow, that briefly fades when Peridot turns her head to hear White Diamond closing in. She resumes her smile when she looks back at Garnet and Steven, now more adamantly ordering them to leave her behind.

I Will Wait for You: Has this sentiment for Steven regarding her feelings for him, under the assumption that he may not be ready for that kind of relationship yet or if he’s with someone else entirely. Peridot’s got all the time in the world to wait for her turn. Luckily for her, she doesn’t have to wait too long.

I’m Having Soul Pains: When Peridot tries to do too much with her willpower in her base form, she will suffer this in the form of headaches, fatigue, and overall physical strain. This is due to her form not being a very good conductor for this kind of power; this kind of side-effect does not happen when performing the same feats (or greater) as Chartreuse Diamond. Only problem is that Peridot doesn’t exactly like to be Chartreuse unless she absolutely has to…

The Immodest Orgasm: It’d be more surprising if someone as naturally loud, expressive, and dramatic as Peridot didn’t behave this way. And sure enough, this is what happens in Chapter 2 of It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is.

Improvised Weapon: Even post-ascension, Peridot never gains an official weapon. Beforehand, she literally could not summon one from her gemstone due to her limitations as an Era 2 gem. Now charged with willpower, Peridot can summon pretty much any weapon she wants for the right situation, assuming she can decide on what to go with. Prior to this, Peridot improvised at least two weapons in a hammer (which she later gifted to an unarmed Connie) and a piece of metal scrap she was able to manipulate into whatever shape she wanted. Although it was mainly a mode of transport, Peridot also used a steel beam to ram into a pallid gem late in Act I.

Drop the Hammer: Though she used it very sparingly before giving it to Connie, Peridot did use the hammer to damage Yellow Diamond badly enough to stun her for the entire battle.

Indy Ploy: Peridot is forced to resort to this in Chapter 5 of This is Who I Am. 5XG is strangling the Light Steven in a separate dimension – consequently, Dark Steven (Peridot’s opponent) is unable to breathe due to his life being bound to his counterpart’s. Being isolated in a separate dimension makes Peridot unable to directly interfere with her counterpart’s efforts… except for one way: injuring herself. The problem is that 5XG is extremely resilient to damage, so Peridot has to inflict a severe injury on herself to have any hope of causing enough mutual damage to disrupt her dark self. With both Stevens moments away from being choked to death, Peridot has no choice but to go with her instincts, as there’s no time to think anything through. She knows it’s a bad idea to directly damage her own gemstone, but being bereft of options and not having the luxury of taking time to think this through leaves her with no choice. She stabs her own gemstone with a broken floor tile – this does force 5XG to stop, but now both Peridots are on death’s door. Luckily for them, Light Steven is merciful enough to heal the one who almost killed him while Dark Steven begrudgingly respects Peridot’s efforts to save his life and heals her to avoid feeling indebted. Ultimately, this insane plan helps end both deathmatches, as both Peridots are too injured to function while both Stevens are too fatigued to carry on, leading to a draw where both Steven and Peridot escape with their lives against all odds.

Inelegant Blubbering: Downplayed, but Peridot’s reunion with Steven in Act I includes sobbing into his chest, calling him every derogatory name she can think of, and punching his shoulder for each insult. Being that Peridot is severely injured, she’s not hurting Steven at all and it isn’t long before she fully devolves into this. Badly enough that the Crystal Gems need to split up and relocate, since Peridot’s cries are garnering unwanted attention.

Inferiority Superiority Complex: Still burdened with this, as Peridot can’t really escape being faced with constant limitations as the only Era 2 of the Crystal Gems… until she ascends, of course. But even then, she has limitations on her new powers unless she shifts into Chartreuse Diamond. She’s constantly self-conscious as a leader, and now that Peridot has regained her memories of her life as a Homeworld Gem, she has a lot of Old Shame moments that are hard for her to live down… especially when the Homeworld refugees constantly remind her of those times.

Insecure Love Interest: Downplayed, as this mostly applies to Peridot after she regains her memories about how awful she used to be during her pre-Earth life. It’s only hinted at in Act II; by Act III, Peridot also struggles with her identity as an Unwitting Test Subject that led to her betraying her friends early on. While it’s seemingly mended with Steven’s declaration of them being an Official Couple by Chapter 5, another problem arises in their inability to fuse. By Chapter 8, it’s revealed the primary cause of that was Peridot’s own guilt over her past crimes weighing her down to the point where she subconsciously believed she didn’t deserve to fuse with Steven.

Insistent Terminology: At the end of It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is, Steven points out the Department of Redundancy Department nature of Peridot’s GA-exclusive catchphrase, “stupid idiot”. Peridot’s response?

Peridot: “It’s not redundancy, clod. It’s emphasis.”

Steven: “I’m… not following.”

Peridot: “Some people can be stupid; others are idiots… but it takes a special kind of clod mentality to achieve the level of stupid idiot, Steven. When I say you’re a stupid idiot, I mean you’re an idiot even by idiot standards, get it?”

Insufferable Genius: Per canon, Peridot definitely has her moments of this, although she’s often prone to self-criticism in the story as well. Sometimes, she deliberately invokes this trope in an attempt to cover something up (usually an insecurity).

Internalized Categorism: Downplayed as time goes on; in Act II, she admits to envying Amethyst for being a gem made on Earth rather than Homeworld, as Peridot had grown to loathe being associated with her home planet in any way. Still, Peridot knows there’s nothing that can be done about it, and she soon no longer has the luxury of lamenting over such trivial details. But then, it’s revealed Peridot is part-Diamond in Act III – and this trope returns with a vengeance. Peridot learns to accept herself by the end of the primary GA series, but still isn’t really comfortable about embracing her Diamond heritage.

Involuntary Shapeshifting: Happens a couple of times. Most notably, she shifts into her Chartreuse Diamond form as she grieves over Pumpkin’s death that only makes her destructive reactions worse.

It Sucks to Be the Chosen One: For all the times Peridot wanted to stand out and be special, she didn’t get to enjoy even a second of it when it was revealed in Act III that she is a very unique Chosen One after all. While Peridot eventually has Steven to lean on to share her burdens with, the Post-GA stories exaggerate their woes as the new Era 3 operation looms over them, as they are the designated centerpieces for the operation, being the only diamonds left in existence at that point. Stories taking place after their project launches show that the burden of responsibility and work have weighed heavily upon the pair.

It’s All About Me: Heavily downplayed due to the high stakes and circumstances of Peridot’s goals in the story, but still has her moments of this. Played very straight regarding who Peridot used to be before she was assigned to monitor Earth.

It’s Personal: Messing with Steven automatically makes any matter personal for Peridot. After Act I, it becomes more personal as White Diamond directly messes with her life and compromises her identity that brings life-long consequences. Then Pumpkin gets brought into it, and… the results are not pretty.

Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She’s still full of herself, she’s still a brat, and she’s still prone to respond aggressively, but don’t ever question Peridot’s love for her friends, her loyalty towards her family, or what she’s willing to do or what she has to sacrifice to keep them out of harm’s way.

Jerkass Ball: Chapter 6 of Act III: after failing to fuse with Steven during their private time together, Peridot covers up her misery with this in order to function not only as a Crystal Gem, but a co-leader of the team, as well as avoid admitting her confirmed inability to fuse to the rest of her friends. However, this façade only makes it more apparent to the others that something is wrong with Peridot, who absolutely refuses to talk about it.

Jerkass Woobie: Peridot in a nutshell after her Near-Rape Experience with Jasper, but before her Heel-Face Turn when she aligned herself with the Crystal Gems.

Jumped at the Call: The moment she realizes Steven’s in trouble, Peridot not only does this, but is irked the others didn’t react like this and instead waited for her to reform before doing anything at all.

Karma Houdini: Until she met Jasper, Manipulative Bastard Peridot suffered no consequences whatsoever for her horrific behavior on Homeworld. She literally got away with murder on several occasions; even worse, often got rewarded for it. Peridot’s good fortune abruptly ran out once she was finally promoted and got on Yellow Pearl’s bad side; ever since her first encounter with Jasper, misfortune followed Peridot everywhere she went. Before long, she was finally suffering the consequences for her cruel ambitions.

5XF expresses that she has no desire to become “another 5XG” regarding her own despicable actions during Chapters 4 and 5 of This is Who I Am. Apparently “5XG” is a synonym for this trope now.

The Killer in Me: The Amnesiac variety, as Peridot is horrified and disgusted to remember how reprehensible she used to be once she reaches Homeworld, and how many lives were lost due to her actions, directly or otherwise.

The Klutz: Per canon, but also the reason why Gem Ascension didn’t end with Act I. Actually heavily downplayed in Act I after leaving Earth, specifically so it happening in Act I’s climax would be even more impactful and unexpected.

Knight, Knave, and Squire: The Squire to Bismuth’s Knight and Lapis’ Knave.

[yellowmechanicalcat]

emotionally colorblind: plance in season 8

(part one of three)

In the series finale of The I.T. Crowd, one of the techs has started dating a girl from another department. (Yes, this is VLD meta, just stick with me.) He feels the relationship is going well and is very happy, and brags to his coworkers that his girlfriend recently told him he was “emotionally artistic” - which he interprets to mean he’s on the “artistic” emotional spectrum because he’s so in touch with her wants and needs. (At this point, it’s become clear to the viewer that his girlfriend has actually accused him of being “emotionally autistic” and believes him to be on the autistic spectrum.)

Later that day, his girlfriend calls again to tearfully ask if he’d accompany her to her grandfather’s funeral and abruptly hangs up on him when he cheerfully agrees. He’s baffled by her reaction until his manager rightly points out that his girlfriend was upset because the way he responded was completely off base from the subject matter, as his chipper tone of voice made him sound as if he’d just been invited to a music festival rather than having any sympathy for his girlfriend’s loss. Only then does it occur to him that his response was inappropriate because funerals are sad.

“‘Emotionally artistic’? You’re emotionally colorblind,” his manager mutters in disbelief.

Old news, but Season 8 isn’t what anyone expected

‘Emotionally colorblind’ - e.g., giving inappropriate responses to a topic because of an inability to perceive the nuances of a situation - feels like a pretty good description of Season 8, in which excellent animation is overwhelmed by moments in which characterization feels off, dialogue doesn’t seem to fit, or the plot clashes with what’s actually being shown on screen. Those moments - along with the conspicuous lack of reaction from the cast and EPs in the month since its release and cryptic criticism from crew members - have led many fans to conclude that the version of Season 8 released took the cast/crew by surprise. Posts by Aria C., a former DW intern while Season 8 was in production, suggest that the overall plot hadn’t changed dramatically since the scripts were being drafted, but that doesn’t mean that individual character arcs weren’t subtly adjusted along the way.

While it’s not clear exactly how much actually changed about Season 8 during production, we do know that many of the changes were made at the last minute. The most noticeable changes seem to have been in response to the backlash against how LGBT characters were portrayed, although this article covers many of the other pacing issues in Season 8 while some of the discrepancies between the audio description and what’s actually seen on screen are listed here. The single biggest last-minute change seems to be the epilogue (including the final few stills) which was approved extremely late in the production process and underwent additional changes after being leaked just weeks before the season’s release.

I strongly suspect that Pidge and Lance had an arc in Season 8 that was another casualty of the last-minute changes.

The End is the Beginning

Let’s take a look at the ending of the series’ final episode. One year after the final battle with Honerva, Pidge and Matt are working on building a humanoid robot that Pidge dubs Chip. Colleen interrupts to tell Pidge she should be heading out; Pidge looks serious and doesn’t respond, then recovers a moment later and makes Matt promise to wait for her to get back to finish. She leaves her glasses with Chip before heading off in the Green Lion, as Sam and Colleen both watch her leave.

Colleen: “Your father’s got the teludav all warmed up for you. Better get going, you don’t want to be late.”
 Sam: (cheerful) “Have a good time, honey!” Pidge: (laughingly) “I will, Dad.”

The way they’re talking to her is the way parents would talk to a teenager who’s about to go to a party or on a date, peppy and almost teasing. Pidge’s serious expression suggests that wherever she’s going is somewhere she’s not entirely ready to be - she isn’t upset about needing to be somewhere, but she isn’t rushing out the door to get there, either. Maybe she’s nervous - we can’t tell.

We cut to Coran and Merla on Altea as they discuss preparations for “the first Celebration of Allura”, then over to Lance as he recounts the story of Allura’s sacrifice to a group of schoolchildren sitting by her statue, telling them that while he misses her, he knows she’s still with all of them. The Altean teacher, in a chipper tone similar to Pidge’s parents, informs the kids that “Paladin Lance has somewhere to be in a few doboshes.” Just then, a wormhole opens and Lance looks up as the Green Lion flies through. He turns away from the statue to watch Pidge land, a smile on his face.

The scene fades to the Paladins having dinner by the statue of Allura. Within moments, it’s obvious that their reunion is the feast Coran and Merla had been discussing earlier. The Celebration of Allura is the one year anniversary of her death. The paladins’ reunion is a memorial.

We’ve seen memorials in VLD before. In Season 7, Shiro visits the Garrison’s memorial wall for those KIA. Later, Earth has a giant memorial service for the victims of just one battle, as Shiro addresses the crowd: “There isn’t one of us here today who hasn’t experienced the tragedy of losing someone close. It truly feels like a light has gone out in our lives and the sun itself couldn’t reignite it. But that light, that fire, hasn’t gone out completely. It’s fueled within each of us by the memories and the love of those we’ve lost. …”

After the one year timeskip, we see Keith persuading the Galra to join the Galactic Coalition with Shiro and Hunk leading diplomatic negotiations on the Atlas; all three invoke Allura’s example as they work towards peace. Hunk even mentions the significance of that day being when they commemorate Allura’s sacrifice. What she did and why she did it aren’t secret. It stands to reason that the anniversary of her death - the anniversary of when Allura saved their reality and countless others - wouldn’t be a ‘celebration’ only for six people. Everyone, everywhere, should be taking a moment to remember her - especially those who fought at her side, like the Holts.

Instead, Sam and Colleen’s reactions in Pidge’s scene are jarring. While things may be different in Voltron’s future world, I doubt any parent would tell their child “Have a good time, honey!” as they go to a memorial dinner for their dead friend. Because as The I.T. Crowd pointed out, funerals are sad - and so is any reminder of someone’s death. You don’t have to be constantly moping and sobbing because you miss someone, you can still celebrate their life, but that kind of event still has a somber, bittersweet element to it. Telling someone ‘Have fun, don’t be late!’ as they head off to a memorial would definitely qualify as emotionally colorblind. It’s hard to believe the actors and voice director would have agreed to record the scene within the context we got onscreen.

Lance’s scene makes it even more complicated. Showing Lance turn to watch only Pidge land is a bizarre choice if the purpose of his scene is to emphasize how much Lance still cares for Allura before showing the other Paladins arriving on Altea. It only makes sense for Lance to turn away from looking at Allura’s statue and towards Pidge if Pidge and Lance are supposed to have a deeper connection.

If the focus is actually meant to be on Allura and this event - and on her family coming together to remember her - it would have made sense for Lance to look past Allura’s statue to see the Blue Lion in the distance, Red parked next to it, as Green, Yellow, and Black emerge from the wormhole to land beside them. If the animation had to be rushed for a last-minute change or the budget was stretched too far, they could have just used the same shot of the Lions sitting together at the end of dinner with daytime lighting instead of night, fading into dinner instead of fading out. 

Pidge and Lance’s scenes would also have benefited from being re-recorded with slightly different dialogue and delivery. For example:

Colleen: (serious, but gentle) “Your father’s got the teludav ready to go. You don’t want to be late, Katie.” Sam: “Tell ’em hello for me.” Pidge: (a little reserved) “I will, Dad.”

Teacher: “I think Paladin Lance has some visitors to go meet, and you all have class…” 


VLD’s had to work around making the dialogue fit changes to the animation/plot before. Take The Feud, in which Keith sounds bizarrely calm compared to the others, which the EPs later explained was because Steven Yeun recorded his lines before the storyboards and script had finalized what the paladins’ reactions would be and he was too busy to re-record before the deadline, so they kept his first take. (I suspect that’s also the reason for Keith’s annoyed-sounding “Don’t miss” comment to Lance in Know Your Enemy, which doesn’t mesh with their otherwise more positive relationship at that point, although I have absolutely no proof) But Yeun’s situation isn’t the norm - in cases where the actor was genuinely too busy to re-record, the show either used soundalikes or wrote out a character where possible, replaced dialogue, etc. Any of those tactics could have been valid workarounds…. unless the change was made relatively last-minute and there just wasn’t enough time.

So if the ending is missing the context of an additional scene between Pidge and Lance, what else might have been cut? And why?

I’ll explain in part two.