#with the farming and the whole not starving thing

[powdermelonkeg]

Slowpoke Tails - Shed vs Chopped

Okay, so there's something of a discrepancy between how Slowpoke tails are treated by the Pokémon franchise. Initially, it was understood that these are a tasty, unethical luxury item, starting in Gold/Silver/Crystal and mirrored in Heartgold/Soulsilver:

The whole plot here is that Team Rocket has taken the Slowpoke in the Azalea Slowpoke Well and chopped their tails off to sell on the black market. These run for a whopping 1,000,000 PD a pop ($10k in USD).

But then, in later generations, it's said that Slowpoke tails fall off naturally. In fact, they're a crucial part of both Alolan AND Galarian cuisine:

The curry ingredient even sells for a measly 2,200 PD ($22 USD).

So what gives? Why is it a Million-Poké black market item when you can get a package off your local hiker?

Easy. Sweetness.

Slowpoke use their tails to fish for food. Typically, they do this by dipping their tails into the water, then letting the current catch the sweet sap they give off and bring it to hungry Water-types.

When a Slowpoke sheds its tail, it's because the tail's ability to generate sap has dried up. It's no longer useful as fishing bait, so the Slowpoke has to either get rid of the tail, or starve.

Shed Slowpoke tails, the ones commonly available for cooking, aren't sweet in the slightest—they're more like heavily-marbled tuna steaks, somewhere between beef and fish with a lot of fat dripping from them, and a rich umami flavor.

Chopped Slowpoke tails, the kind you find on the black market, are a completely different experience. The meat is more tender, the flavor a lot more delicate, with a sweetness permeating it that's a lot like the honey glaze on a ham.

Naturally, chopped Slowpoke tail then becomes a novel experience. Because you have to take it from a Slowpoke, you can't just find it lying around.

So why, then, is it illegal enough for Rocket to move in on? Why is Slowpoke farming or hunting for those sweet tails not a thing? They still grow them back afterwards, so what's the deal?

The problem with chopping a Slowpoke's tail off is that, even though it regenerates, its body wasn't ready to do so. This can cause a whole lot of complications for the poor thing.

A tail doesn't regenerate from nothing, for starters: every time you cut a tail off unexpectedly, the Slowpoke's body rushes to make a replacement, using up its body's fat reserves. This causes VERY rapid and dangerous weight loss, and a frankly ridiculous amount of stress.

Incorrect cuts can cause deformities, like a tail growing back too short, not being able to make enough sweetness to bait fish Pokémon, or even Espeon-tail syndrome, where the tail splits into two at the end.

And, perhaps most egregiously of all, a cut too high might mean the Slowpoke never regrows its tail at all. If you cut into anything that's not specifically tail tissue, the body will begin the scarring process over the wound, removing the Pokémon's ability to fish and evolve. And while it can learn to survive by fishing manually, like its evolutionary counterpart is required to, oftentimes, Slowpoke will just sit by the water and starve, not realizing that they aren't getting a bite because there's just nothing to bite.

In short: Shed = ethical, chopped = unethical, possibly lethal.

Slowpoke responsibly, guys.

[rainbowchaox]

Pissa Reunion Masterpost: (Literally there’s so much content we got this is gonna be hella long pls help me)

FIRST OFF YA DONTCHA SEE WHY THE PISSA NATION IS LOCO OVER THIS DUO? WE HAVE BEEN STARVING. PHILZA ALWAYS BEEN LOYAL TO ONE WET CAT! And that is Missa. And secondly I got most of the earlier half of stream information from the lovely @pepper-mintzyy. Give your liveblogger some love and care.

First off the scene where Missa comes online and Phil is all “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!” And Cellbit immediately saying “Oh this your husband?” And Phil immediately saying yes without the platonic. THEN THEY PROCEED TO HAVE A FULL BLOWN BOAT DATE with legit felps being such a third wheel he legit says “Continue on forget I’m here”. Also the fact Cellbit pointed out “OH that’s why you have a skull on your backpack it’s because of your husband” and Phil immediately agreeing and Missa whimpering.

They literally like lowkey forgot they were on a mission and immediately was smitten with each other they high-key forgot the mission and people around them. The fact our wet cat almost dead rushed in to save Mr hardcore himself. The amount of times Phil has to save his husband. The fact Missa bought gifts for Philza IRL.

The fact when catching up Phil was all like “Oh we have another egg” not even thinking twice about accepting his husband as Tallulah second adopted father. The fact Missa was like “You are such a good father” in the down bad voice he is always in.

Literal highkey their cubitos flirting saying smooth shit like “Like the good old days" "nothings changed” and "the one thing that made you stand out". Like full on giggling and laughing and just chilling in each other company. The amount of time they were distracted by the actual major lore by each other just being there after so long is insane. Honestly believe not for others present they would not have reached the objective.

Phil being so sweetly protective of Missa and always making sure he is right next to him. Also the amount of soft showing off he did towards Missa is insane. The fact Phil numero uno priority is Missa and chayanne always. That has never changed despite Missas absence. The fact Missa never left his simpage for Philza and immediately seeing Phil be awesome and is “I c-can see your PECS”. Like bruh he is so down bad.

The fact Philza immediately seeing his husband getting wrecked by mobs decided then and there to give him SO MUCH GEAR LATER. Philza lanuage of love Definitely is Gift Gifting and Acts of service. The fact during Philza introduction to the new players Missa kept saying stuff like “That’s my love! that’s my love!”.

Missa soon had to leave to be a part of a Minecraft event of sorts. But right after he got back online because he wanted to se his husband and son. (Sadly chayanne already went to bed). The amount of miscommunication the death duo went through (With mainly bad being a third wheel and trying to cause problems in their relationship). Landduo was legit preventing poor Missa to go and see his man.

Missa literally only escaped because dapper told him just ask and he will kill LOLOLOL. He went home and forever and him had a whole conversation and apology. That they are friends now. Missa saying stuff Philza is not someone to be won etc. and Philza literally ditched tubbo and Cellbit was like “Your husband needs help? Understandable” and yet again no corrections from Phil.

THEN THE MOST SOFTEST ROMANTIC LATE STREAM STUFF I HAVE EVER SEE HAPPENS. They met again and literally it’s like nothing has changed. Phil immediately showing off the baby skeletons because he knows Missa will enjoy the skeletons. Phil FINALLY giving Missa the slime armor he made for him ages ago.

I won’t lie watching it live gives off major date vibes (obviously about their cubitos in rp). Phil and Missa legit did that trope of someone good at archery teaching their love interest at the exp farm. They legit shared exp as well. The fact they keep giggling so much.

Philza seeing how bad the gear Missa has literally have him 20 upgrades including giving him a full bar of exp on his backpack. Again gift giving and acts of service is clearly Philza love lanuage. LITERALLY MISSA STARED AT THE SKULL AMD NODDED QUICKLY TO HIS CHAT. The amount of avocado toast Phil keeps throwing at Missa and putting in his backpack. Gotta know his husband is eating well I guess. Philza casually saying that the “Wall is ours” to Missa.

The fact Missa immediately wanted to have a hat like Philza on his backpack then a player head of his to match his beloved husband. Earlier he tricked the translator and said “I speak weird so the translator won’t pick it up- I love you”. Casually like that sentence didn’t break all the pissa enjoyers brain for 24 hours.

Dapper casually saying “Glad to see the love birds are on the mend” about them. Literally one of us. Iconic king. THE FACT Philza while talking about Tallulah said she was “Our Daughter” to Missa. Bad trying to cause drama meeting the brick wall of Missa adoration. Aka him screaming “Philza the best!!!!”. The fact they both tried to go offline the same but Missa felt bad and had to said bye to everyone. The fact Missa went offline right next to the house.

WE WERE FEED. PISSA NATION STAYS WINNING! And we are gonna continue to get food. As Missa promised to try to stream four times a week. So maybe maybe….second gay Qsmp wedding-

[ghostboneswrites2]

Girl of Your Dreams || Part 1

New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring all my work here slowly!

Summary: Daryl's annoying female sidekick is pestering him.

18+ MDNI: WARNINGS: injury, aggressive Shane, profanity

        You were no stranger to pain. The world had been unfair to you from the time you entered it, but this was a whole new level of torture. You had survived the wake of the apocalypse with your only friend, but when you encountered a group of those undead fucks, she didn't make it, and you were left to run for your life all on your own. You were fairly certain you lost the hungry corpses some time ago, but now you had a new dilemma: how to free yourself from a bear trap?

        The metal dug into your flesh and crushed the bone beneath. You was beyond painful. You were shocked your cries didn't draw anything in to eat you, but you were ultimately alone until he came along. Wit the sleeves torn off a flannel shirt and a crossbow slung over his shoulder, he'd left the camp by the quarry that day to find some food, hopefully enough to feed everyone but chances of that were slim.

        "Ya bit?" Was the first thing he asked, with that raspy voice you would come to find comfort in. 

        "Gee, I'm fine. Doesn't hurt at all. Thanks for asking." You shot back. A woman of sarcasm, something he could appreciate.

        "Show me ya ain't bit and I'll get that thing off ya." He shrugged. You sighed.

        "Not bit." You said, holding your bare arms up, showing him the sides of your neck, and finally lifting your shirt to show him a bite-free midriff. He nodded and knelt down on one knee, setting his bow to the side so he could properly dismantle the trap. You winced and sighed in relief at the release of pressure from your ankle. "Thanks." You breathed, pulling up the leg of your jeans to take a good look.

        The bruising had already begun, and the flesh was chewed to bits. You went to stand but failed. The pressure on your ankle was too much.

        "Great." You grumbled. "Real fuckin' nice."

        "C'mere." He said, standing up now as he held his hand out to you. You took it, seeing little other options. Unless, of course, you wanted to wait for the next flesh-starved freak to come stumbling through.

        "Thanks again." You grunted as you pulled yourself up. You managed to stand on one foot, but there was no way you could walk without aide. 

        "C'mon. Got a camp not too far from here." He told you. And there it was, the beginning. Of course the other campers didn't take so kindly to a new mouth to feed, especially one that could barely walk, but Daryl made sure you had your place, and that earned your respect. It also earned your kindness, which was hard to come by for anyone. You weren't the friendly type, more of the shut-up-and-don't-breathe-in-my-space type. Shane, most of all, was your least favorite. The whole self-proclaimed leader thing got under your skin fast, and he was the first to voice his concerns about your presence among the others. After all, he had a girl and a kid to look out for, which you'd come to find out later weren't even his, but his best friend's, who he told them was dead. He wasn't, though, and he showed up a couple weeks later. Glenn and the others brought him back instead of Merle, Daryl's brother.

        Daryl was outraged to say the least, and when they went back for his kin, they only found a hand where he should have been. Walkers attacked camp the that night, when Daryl and the others were in the city, and you only fucked up your ankle more fighting the sons of bitches off. Still, you prevailed. You always did. You were a survivor. 

        In the following weeks, between burning and burying bodies, finding and escaping the CDC, and getting stranded on the highway only to wind up on a farm, you and Daryl had grown pretty close. You comforted him with your silent presence as he coped with the loss of his brother, and once you could walk again you aided in a lot of the search for Sophia. 

        You went with him on a particularly hot day, carrying the extra water for the two of you, telling him all about how you couldn't take anymore of Shane's pestering. Apparently now that Lori had pushed him away for Rick, he had taken up a newfound fondness of you and your smart mouth. 

        "It's like -- I tell the guy to fuck off and his heart eyes grow bigger." You complained. Scoffed a little laugh and shook his head. Not necessarily interested in your drama, but curious nonetheless. Any excuse to tell Shane off would've been a green light to him. You continued. "You know yesterday he tried to come in my tent when I was asleep?"

        Daryl stopped walking and eyed you intently, waiting for more.

        "Yeah, dude. I was asleep when it happened. Woke up to him running his hand up my thigh. So, if you notice any dark coloration around his eye, it's cause I kicked him. In the eye." You explained. 

        Daryl chewed on his lip and continued walking. You handed him some water to drink as you sipped some yourself. After pushing a little further he sighed.

        "Let's take a break an' eat somethin'." He suggested. You happily obliged, sitting crisscross on the forest floor, unwrapping a napkin with some nuts and dried fruit for the two of you to share.

        "He didn't hurt ya or nothin'?" He asked. You shrugged.

        "If he did, I promise he'd have gotten more than a foot in his eye."

        "Mm." He nodded. "You know I'd kill him, if he did."

        "Awe, are you sweet on me Dixon?" You teased, grinning as you bumped his shoulder with yours. He glared at you.

        "Ain't sweet on no one." He grumbled.

        "Except me." 

        "Shut up."

        "It's okay. I know you put that trap out to catch a girl like me. Lucky for you, I was dumb enough to step in it." You gloated. He got so flustered when you joked like that, but you enjoyed it. As gruff as he was, he was the shy type which made him all the more attractive. You loved a good mystery.

        "Nah, I placed that trap out lookin' for the woman of my dreams an' got stuck with you." He joked. You gasped, mocking an appalled expression.

        "You mean, I'm not the woman you always dreamed of?"

        Actually, you kind of were, now that he thought about it. He'd need a woman that could handle his brother, and in the short time  you spent with the man you handled him quite well. He needed a woman who didn't need to be coddled, a woman with a sharp tongue and an independent nature. Someone who didn't need him, who only kept him around because she liked him. You did check all those boxes.

        "You first." He grunted.

        "Me first what? Are you asking if you're the man of my dreams?" You asked. He shrugged, picking at the last of the food in his hands. "Well, I never dreamed of a man, to be honest. Just figured I'd find one, one day, that didn't get on my every last nerve."

        "Did you?" He wondered.

        "Nope." You laughed. "They all pissed me off. Except you. You're alright, I guess." You shrugged.

        "Guess you ain't so bad." He returned the compliment, if you could call it that. You smiled sweetly, staring down at the crunchy brown leaves.

        "Not bad at all, for someone you got stuck with." You said.

        "Stuck? Nah. I'd have got rid of ya by now if I didn't want ya around."

        "So you do like me."

        "Didn't say that."

        "Mmm. Ya kinda did." You pushed.

        "What if I do? Don't change nothin'." 

        "Nope. It doesn't." You chirped, before leaning in close to him and whispering; "'Cause I already knew ya did." 

        He sighed and pushed you away, you chuckling in the process.

        "Were you always this annoyin'?" He asked.

        "Yes, indeed. I'm vexing by nature. Is that a deal breaker?"

        "Depends how long it takes you to shut up."

        "Oof." You winced. "That was cold."

        "Please. You ain't that soft."

        "Only for you, Darlina." You said. Normally he'd snap at anyone who called him that. Only Merle ever got away with it and that was mostly just due to the fact he had no energy to argue with Merle. Getting a reaction out of him would have only pushed Merle to say it more, anyways.

        "You keep pushin' your luck, girl, and we're gonna have problems."

        "Oh?" You raised your brows. "Do tell."

        "Won't have to. I'll just show ya. Keep  tryin' me and find out."

        "Was that a threat? 'Cause I'll be honest with ya, you're just getting me excited."

        He shot you a sideways glance, smirking a little at the suggestiveness of your comment. This girl ain't got no idea what she's gettin' into, he thought.

        That night at camp, when Shane found you alone, adding your clothes form the day to the dirty laundry, Daryl was watching from afar.

        "Maybe you can talk some sense into everybody." He began. "You've been out there with him. You can tell them there haven't been any leads. We're wasting resources and manpower, here."

        "Sure! I'll do that!" You said with sickeningly sweet sarcasm oozing from your tongue. The prideful officer clenched his jaw tightly at your act of disrespect. "Only, I won't, because we've found two leads already." 

        "Oh, right, a doll he almost died for and a blanket in a cupboard." He scoffed. "What is it with you and him, huh? You out there fuckin'? Or do you really just enjoy wasting everyone's time and supplies."

        "Everyone?  Last I checked, it's just been me and him out there the last few days. Nobody else. And, even if we were fucking, it'd be none of your concern." You spat, stabbing your finger into his chest with malice. He gripped your wrist as you did so, hard, might you add. Tight enough that it actually hurt. You tried to yank you arm away to no avail. You were strong, but he was stronger.

        "Let me go, asshole." You said through gritted teeth. He didn't. Instead he held you still and leaned his face close to yours.

        "Let me make somethin' real clear to you, little girl--"

        "There a problem?" Daryl asked, suddenly appearing behind Shane.

        Shane grinded his teeth together, a blazing glare burning into you for only a second before he let go of your wrist and turned to Daryl. You held your wrist to your body, rubbing it.

        "Nah. No problem." Shane said lowly before he stormed away, maintaining eye contact with Daryl for some time as he did so. When Shane was far enough for comfort, Daryl stepped over from you and grabbed your hand, looking over your wrist. It was still white with Shane's finger prints and he wouldn't be surprised if it bruised later.

        "You alright?" He asked, letting your hand fall back down.

        "Yeah." You nodded, watching as Shane disappeared into the darkness. "Thanks."

        "C'mon." He told you, throwing his arm over your shoulder and leading you toward his own tent. "You're stayin' with me in case he tries anythin'."

        "A sleepover? So soon? No dinner  first?" You joked.

        "Shut up." He said, holding his tent open for you to climb in. When you were inside, he followed, and made sure you had a place to get comfy. "This alright?" He asked, referring to his sleeping bag that he had completely unzipped and laid out flat like a palette. 

        "Perfect." You smiled, laying down on one side. He laid down on the other side, on his back. You were on your side, facing him, still rubbing your wrist. He took notice.

        "Still hurt?" He asked.

        "No, actually. It's just weird. I can still feel his hand around me, you know?"

        "Well he won't get ahold of ya in here." He told you. You smirked. 

        "I know."

        "You know?"

        "Uh-huh." You nodded, smugly. "'Cause you wont let anything happen to the girl of your dreams."

        He scoffed, laughing silently to himself as he shook his head, eyes on the ceiling of the tent.

        "Whatever, (Y/N). G'night."

[cerastes]

Hey. It's been a while. I think it's right to update you on stuff so tl;dr I'm probably not going to be around for some time, and if I am, it'll be in a diminished capacity, but if you're interested, do check under the cut. I'll also immediately state that I am not in any dangerous situation, it's other stuff, but I'll immediately dispel that before the cut just in case you just wanted to know that in particular.

Let's talk for a bit.

Long story short, the economy here is in shambles. The idea was for me to already have a new job, but that's not gone according to plan. I've been eating into my savings for a while now, and the people that told me that I had a job lined up for me September or at the latest October, meaning, this month, have been ghosting me. It seems to not be an option anymore, and no explanation was ever given to me. A shame, because it came from a place of relative trust.

This has eaten away at my nerves somewhat, and though it is the month of my birthday, I can't help but notice that, between the economy being this bad here, how hard it's been to land another job, and the fact that I'm eating into my savings, well, it's got me more than a bit worried. I'm not in any immediate danger of losing the roof over my head, or starving, or anything like that, but after a few months of "well, my savings take yet another hit this month with no end in sight", it's been rather rough, you'll understand, and it's compounded a bit. For just a second, and not as a primary, secondary, or even tertiary plan, more like a twenty-eighth measure if anything, I did entertain the dark idea of maybe asking for a bit of help here, and the moment that thought came up, I realized, "Ok, this is truly and well affecting me, I never want to do that", because, again, it's not like I'm in any immediate danger of homelessness or anything that grave, but it's been weighting on me enough that, even as a distant glint in the horizon of an idea, I did consider it. I don't want to sound like I'm blowing my own horn here, but for over a decade that I've had this blog, and the community/following/whatever you want to call it that has grown around it, I've never once asked for something like monetary help, because I think that can be a slippery slope. I've seen people far bigger than me, and some smaller, too, get addicted to asking for donations or help, or simply start taking it for granted when they ask for such a thing. My friends will tell you I writhe in agony when I receive a gift such as a game or something over the mail. My logic is that I don't need it, not in a proud way, but rather, in a "I wish you would spend this money on yourself instead, or on someone that truly needed it". With this in mind, I realized that, for me to even slightly consider that as an option, for the first time in my life, it meant that it was biting away at me far, far more severely than I thought. It's translated to other parts of my life as of late; I've not been depressed or anything, but I've felt this itch, this remarkably implacable feeling of "my man, you don't deserve to be taking it easy right now, something has to change, progress needs to be made".

I went out to wander for a few days, then arrived at my cousin's farm. He and his wife live a humble, hard working life, he invited me to stay for a while, I accepted, it was real nice, we hanged out, went exploring creeks and mountainsides while knocking back a few beers, the whole shebang for two guys that grew up in the middle of nowhere. Anyhow, it's true that the whole exposition that was the previous paragraph is something at play, but I also just... Haven't really wanted to be online at all. I don't want to check anything, read anything, and I feel a deep sense of alienation that I've not really felt in a long time. I suppose this is one of those good ol' Bro Is Going Through It, if we're to summarize it in a few words. It's easy for me to dispel negative thoughts and bounce back normally, because I've done a great deal of personal building and homework on knowing myself inside out, but not even this black belt in Drimobrain has helped this time around, and well, it bothers me, obviously, bwahaha. It's the first time in a few years that I really sincerely do not understand what's up with me, and while it's not really something I would consider me being rock bottom or anywhere near those depths, I do think I'm still below surface level, which is something I don't admit to easily, but have no choice to. I would love to be able to give this malaise shape and firmness through written or spoken word, but right now, it's a work in progress.

What bothers me the most is the sense of alienation I spoke of before: It makes no sense for me to feel this way, I'm treated with love and kindness every day, no one's silencing me in any way, I don't deal with barbs or hostility. So why is it that that's how I feel? Or perhaps it's something that feels similar, but I've no clue what it is, so I'm compounding it with alienation?

Regardless, it's all compounded into me just... Not wanting to be online. In the words of a friend of mine, "Dreamer has a fetish for self-development and growth", and, well, yeah, she's got that right despite the wording, I like to feel as if I'm improving every day and becoming better every day, even if slightly, and right now I feel like I'm just degenerating. Is it because my mood has been sour overall? Maybe. It might as well just be the fact that I Just Don't Want To Be Online For A While, and capricious clown that I am, if I want to do something, I do it, and if I don't want to do something, I don't do it. I'm tied to nothing and no one except my desire and drive to do or not do things. I can't change that, nor do I want to change that. And in this case, my heart's said to me, "fuck going online, go out, do things, try to get a job".

I also almost got recruited into something fucking vile that I thankfully noticed in time to avoid, but that's a story for another time.

There you have it. Am I leaving the internet/blue website forever? No, of course not, I like it here. Are things hard right now? They are, to be honest. Are they the worst it could be? Not at all. Do I have complete clarity of what's up with this fog inside of my head? No, and that bother me quite a bit. Are things going to be alright? Yeah, I think they will be.

I do regret it's in October of all months that this is going on, because it's where my shitposting power is at its apex due to my birthday, but hey, things happen, not necessarily for a reason, but they can be handled in such a way that it gives them meaning. I'm a fervent believer in that. I'm sorry this isn't the update you may have been hoping for, full of Lucina cosplayer blowjobs and other such hijinks, but hey, they can't all be Rainbow Road, haha.

So in case we don't see each other for a while, I hope you're all doing fine and dandy. I'm alive, I'm trying to be well, and most importantly, most fundamentally, most quintessentially,

I stay silly.

[messycunt]

Need me more of that Hucow Malleus... and just Diasomnia in general, my favorite boys.

This was supposed to be short but woah boy, strap in because your dumb Hucow au (tone: affectionate) hooked me like a goddamn fish. I did not know I was horny for this. Some of it is requests, some personal headcannons/ideas/sacrificial offerings for your au.

Ummm, for the sake of recognizing me in the future, can I be assigned an anon emoji? IDK which one to pick, but if you're willing to select one based on my vibes, that's cool!

May I request how Mal and his handler's relationship kicked off? He isn't aggressive so I imagine his previous handlers felt intimidated or could just never find Malleus to perform handling duties! So Crowley just had to rotate through staff hoping to find a handler Mal is fond of. Or perhaps Mal chose his handler through a chance meeting...?

In the meantime, I imagine Lilia was a pseudo-handler for Mal but couldn't perform most of the duties due to their familial-platonic relationship. Handler duties seem really intimate.

(Speaking of that... Does the job come with a "you might get fucked by Hucows" disclaimer? Or is that JUST Crowley's farm? If humans and Hucows are equal, do the non-farm Hucows act mostly normal and the farm Hucows choose to lean into their more primal, horny side?)

Also not to be a simp but here's some more things my silly fangirl brain has thought up:

Imagine Malleus disappearing on his handler's days off because he's followed them home (with their permission, after pouting at them the whole day) and is enjoying a domestic weekend? Cooking home made meals for them, playfully doing a role-reversal where he is the "human's handler" which is mostly him insisting on doing chores, assisting with basic things like hair brushing, then being confused when he has to use technology to do things like "washing clothes" or "running the dish washer" or "turning on the radio." But altogether it's really wholesome because he wants to show his appreciation for his handler by doing for them what they do for him! Unfortunately, with how tall he is, a few holes do get poked into the cieling at your house.

Hucow Malleus who won't ever cross his handler's boundaries, but is very touch starved and needy, so he'll often make offers that involve physical touch and close proximity, then pout the rest of the day if you say no. Typically he just makes offers a little too soon. For example, after only a few weeks, offering to let his you stay in his personal quarters with him instead of the communal handler sleeping quarters. Lilia suggests he ask again after a few months. Malleus never stays sulking for long- how could he when his favorite handler is around? I imagine he has big regal looming eldrich entity energy but is very soft and gentle at the heart. He likes hearing about your life experiences, especially travel. Being a show cow means that Crowley tries to keep extremely close tabs on him when traveling for shows and Mal hardly gets to enjoy any of the local culture. He's pretty adamant on having you brought a long for business-related travel. That way, he's technically being supervised when he sneaks away with you to see the sights!

Hucow Lilia being so very fond of pranking his handler, whose care he barely needs. He'll playfully make care tasks difficult on purpose, but stops just before you can get frustrated or upset. If he accidentally crosses the line, sometimes he'll even finish the care task himself without help! Which shouldn't be physically possible in most cases, but he'll take his secrets to the grave.

Hucow Lilia who is a "retired" show bull (again, claiming he's "too old" for it) but can easily perform his old routines without breaking a sweat. If any of the young cows aspiring to be show bulls need, he's glad to train them! But his training is a little... unconventional and most young cows will pass on the offer. But it must be effective since he was- still is- Malleus's sole show mentor. I imagine Lilia mostly sticks around the farm because of his Diasomnia family and because he likes helping raise the calves. With supervision from Vil, who makes sure his parenting methods aren't too crazy and, more importantly, ensures he never cooks.

Imagine Silver being the easiest Hucow to handle for because hes just so chill and sleepy. If anything, the hardest part sometimes is waking him up long enough to get him to move to a different spot for Hucow care! He easily accepts his handler's assistance but also offers to help with tasks like carrying milk or fixing a fence. He is also very likely to fall asleep on their lap for hours and make their legs go numb. The best part about being his handler is definitely that he'll let you pet and stroke his pelt pretty much the second you become his handler. He's very duty-bound and, as such, trusts you implicitly to do yours.

Unlike Silver, Hucow Sebek is very unwilling to rely on his handler. Lilia has had to scold him many times on letting you do their job. Sebek tries to relent, but he will still complain, especially if it's a new care task or routine. To him it's a matter of pride and proving he doesn't have to depend on others. Especially since he's fond of you- he can't let himself look WEAK by relying on you, right? But if you twist your words just a bit- say that he's helping you by letting you do something or need him to remind you how it's done- he's suddenly eager to show you. He'll preen under your praise and, if you want to make him really happy, ask him to do little things for you, like reaching something on a tall shelf or asking for his advice on a personal matter... he'll absolutely glow with pride knowing you value him. Also, Hucow Sebek eventually gets to a point where he'll WEEP when you're gone the same way he does when Malleus is away for a show and he can't come with.

Now, after brainrotting a bit, I have two more requests and they are HORNY...

My first request is some size kink shit with Hucow Malleus and his handler. I'm LIVING for the idea of getting split in half by his literal prize cock with him cooing praise over his tiny little handler being able to take it. Big soft Dom vibes, even when he's being rough, just so much love in his giant dragon Hucow body.

My second request is Sebek getting blue balls and his handler insisting on "relieving" him because he's trying to power through it until it "dies down" or some dumb shit. But once he relents, he's DONE for. Nearly begging to breed his handler, pressing them up against a wall or some shit, kind of "dom but tsundere" vibes? 100% consensual and instigated by the handler tho.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!!!!

I'm happy my insanity is what turned you to the hybrid kink side n I love all of your ideas please do stick around

uhmmmm how does milk(🥛) anon sound?

cw: hybrids(hucows), breeding kink, begging, dacryphilia(jus overwhelmed tears I think its cute), not proofread so sorry if it's all nonsense characters: malleus, lilia, silver, sebek

malleus is far from violent and doesn't have a reputation as such, he doesn't even playfully nip or headbutt like kalim and ace sometimes do, but his strength and stature are probably what scared some of his handlers off in the past if they weren't frustrated by how much he loves to disappear the hour before shows that is.

I imagine you being some intern handling some other cow that malleus just gravitates towards for one reason or another. when track is lost of him he's found in your general area or waiting somewhere he'll know you'll be soon(yes he subconsciously memorized your schedule) but you didn't seem to mind. this is great from crowleys perspective though, it's an obvious and easy fix, by making you malleus' handler he doesn't have to worry about switching them out every month… or paying both fees for fairs that he never ended up attending.

♡

trying to find a way to say this that isn't crude but well when am I not; fucking the hucow you're in charge of handling isn't part of the job technically but isn't frowned at too much either, not on crowleys farm anyway tho i wouldn't put it past the old bird to have made separate agreements w handlers that do require them to tend to their bulls more intimate needs, with a -barelynoticeable- pay increase of course. other establishments do have regulations in place to prevent it, seeing it as unprofessional at worst. it works on "a you break it you buy it" type of policy so you wouldn't wanna be the guy who knocks up a prize heifer who's starting bid is 70k.

♡

lilia makes for a fun cow to handle if anything, uh granted you're not brand new to working on the farm that is, alot of his ways of teasing newbies is borderline hazing, outside of that he's like a fun grandpa. he is banned from the industrial kitchen tho the closest he's allowed to get to cooking is supervised potato peeling duty if jamil has anything to say about it. I also imagine lilia being cuddly once he gets comfortable enough with you! lots of hugs, cheek kisses and headpats(he likes giving and receiving them) happen between the two of you.

♡

silver takes his responsibilities very seriously and would do well w a handler who's equally task minded but not to the point theyll outright refuse his assistance, though a little downtime never hurt anybody… I mean you told crowley you'd probably have silver milked by noon so it's not like you promised or anything, plus he looks cute resting so peacefully.

♡

now if anyone needs a reminder to relax every once in a while it's sebek. but once you catch onto the fact that he's just a little bit, maybe kinda sorta trying to be a show off cus he has a itty-bitty tiny crush on you(even if lilia had to point it out for you) it makes the job so much easier. yells your name and trots up to you so excitedly during morning role call every. single. day. his body language is super easy to read even if he's trying his best to act aloof about how he feels, especially early on, the way his tail swishes around wildly when you pat his arms while giving him compliments always give him away.

hucow sebek is one prideful n stubborn animal, even in rut. you offered to help him the first few days of it and why wouldn't you? I mean it's not in your job description, probably but you don't mind helping the poor thing out. he refuses the first 2, 3 and then 4 times so you decide not to push him. something about how malleus wouldn't stoop down so low as to take a cheap shortcut offer(he would) such as the one you've presented him with, even tho he does really want to he didn't verbalize that last part ofc.

when he does finally fold he's desperate and sweaty and mumbling nonsense about how you were right and he's sorry and he doesn't deserve you and you are also both very much behind the practice showroom out in the open. you can feel tears and sweat drench the back of your shirt. sebeks large hands are gripping at your hips and tummy like his life depends on it. his thrusts are sloppy and inexperienced but they work to fuel the fire growing inside of you nonetheless.

he hasn't stopped talking the whole time either. he's loud like always but it's what he's saying that's surprising to you. begging you go let him cum in you over and over until neither of you have any strength left and promises to be the best father he could possibly be if you do end up taking his calf. it's just his rut talking, you think, it has to be. not that you'd mind

♡

by the time sebek gives you a break hours have already passed and he slips his dick out of you still some what hard. he insists on carrying you back to his quarters, with intentions of continuing there obviously.

whoever was practicing for next weeks show that afternoon sure did get an earful

i did get a few other asks about hucow malleus n his breeding kink if you're reading this and you sent one of them I didn't forget you ok kiss kiss, so ill keep this ask in mind when answering those <3

[misserabella]

hello! so this is kind of an angsty request: (set in jackson) reader and ellie have been together for a few years and it's obvious to everyone that ells in very protective of her.

reader had been helping in town way too much and ellie didnt like cause 1) there's other people that can help and 2) she didnt like her gf working at all. so, after a week or so reader is so tired and overworked that she just collapses, maybe even gets hurt and ellie sees everything from afar because she was coming back from patrol. she's very scared but also pissed that her gf was put in that situation, maria and tommy get an earful from her. joel was also mad and comforting her.

a/n; OMG YES THIS IS LOVELY! hope you like how it came out! <3

♡

The town had been a mess for the last few days, with the incoming anniversary of the town —something all of you took enough pride for to even celebrate it with a massive party—, there was a lot of work to do and lot of things to get ready for the day, and since you were so close to Maria and Tommy —they being part of the council and confiding too much on you—, they very often asked for your help, even if they were more people they could ask for just because they believed you’d do an impecable job.

“Oh, y/n, could you please go and ask Mr. Herring for more whiskey? I think we’re gonna need a couple more bottles.” Maria, who you were helping with the decoration of the salon, asked you. And you couldn’t say no. You wanted to help everyone with the party as much as possible, it was an important event, something all of you were looking for. For another successful year of survival, of life.

“Yeah, of course.” you smiled, even though you were completely worn and Herring’s house was a few blocks away.

“Thank you.” she said, and went back to cutting the little hanging triangles she had been working on all night. It was already Friday. Tomorrow was the anniversary. Everything had to be perfect.

You were exhausted, not for just a sleepless night, but a whole week of hard work.

You had helped with the farm on Monday, when Mrs. Evans had pouted at you, feeling lonely and with a lot eggs to collect and cows to milk for the bakery. Your hands still hurt.

On Tuesday, you had lended a hand to Mrs. Peters with her bakery, helping her fix some problem she had with her oven and, later on, helping her with the cakes for Friday night and her delivers for the day.

On Wednesday, you’d stayed all night awake with Maria to go over some much needed paperwork and radio discussions.

And on Thursday, you’d helped Tommy in the wood shop with some new benches and chairs he was making for the salon. You still felt the pain of the splinters on your fingers.

You couldn’t say no. You never could. ‘Cause these were your people and they had welcomed you with open arms when you had nothing. Now you had a family, friends, the most beautiful girlfriend and your own place to call home. You couldn’t be happier. But you sometimes needed to listen to your own body… And it was telling you to stop, to slow down.

The cold hit you like rocks, making you grit your teeth. You needed to get all the way back to the gates of the town to go find the bottles. Somehow, even though the snow was finally melting and it was easier to move , your feet seemed to feel heavier than most days. You felt lightheaded, and so tired that you felt you would fall asleep at any moment. But you had work to do, and people needed you, so you wouldn’t complain.

You were also feeling lonely, you hadn’t seen Ellie that much over the last few days, most of them her being fast asleep once you’d get home. She wasn’t happy about you working so much, she told you so everyday, begging you to stop and rest. But you’d promise her you were okay even if you weren’t.

You were starving with just a mere cup of coffee on your stomach. You hadn’t been eating much as well, being too occupied to even remember to do so. Ellie would kill your if she ever found out, thank god she was busy as well with her patrols with Joel.

The walk to Mr. Herring’s was exhausting, to say the least. You head was hurting and your eyes heavy. What you’d do for a warm bed right now and your pretty girlfriend...

“Oh, hey honey.” Mr. Herring, a very old and sweet man smiled at you.

“Hi, Mr. Herring.” you said back with the same smile. “Maria asks if it would be okay with you to get us a few more bottles of whiskey for the party…?”

“Oh why of course!” he said, waving his hand. “Love to share it. How many bottles will you need? Will three be okay?” he inquired and you nodded.

“Yeah, three will be perfect.” you smiled. “Thank you Mr. Herring.”

He disappeared for a few seconds under the bar to get the bottles, and a little wave of dizziness hit you, making you rest against the bar.

“You okay, honey?” Mr. Herring asked you with a concerned look, the bottles resting in front of you, gently placed on a bag.

“Yeah, just a little tired.” you smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Herring.” you said as you took the bag to make your way out the licor store.

“You’re welcome, honey! Take care, alright?” you nodded at him with a wave and went outside.

The gates were opening at your right, the patrol team coming back from their morning routes. That meant that Ellie was finally home, but a few steps and a quick turn of head was all it took to make your world start to spin. The sun hit your eyes and your head hurt, your vision going white. You felt the same dizziness that had hit you minutes ago. And to your right a voice came calling for you.

“y/n?” but you were too gone to answer to your girlfriend, who was looking at you with a concerned look beside Shimmer.

Your world turned upside down and your head sunk under the pressure of gravity as your vision turned black and your legs wobbled. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw you fall onto the snow, the sound of crashing glass beside you catching the attention of those surrounding you. Joel was quick to follow to meet you unconscious body, one of the bottles having shattered and cut your forehead, painting your skin and the snow in crimson.

“y/n? y/n!” her voice was laced with panic as she shook your shoulder, trying to make you respond.

She was quick to grab you in between her arms and carry you to Maria’s house, who welcomed you with the same panicked expression.

“What happened?” Tommy inquired as Ellie softly laid you on one of their spare beds, Maria quickly grabbing the first aid kit.

“She fucking passed out!” Ellie screamed, panicked. “And of course she did! You’ve overworked her!” she pointed at Maria. Ellie loved her. She really did. But she loved you too, more than she could handle. And she cared for you, worried for you.

“Ellie…” Joel tried and stop her, ‘cause she knew how overprotective Ellie was over the ones she truly loved, over you.

“No. You know it’s true Joel. They have been overworking her this whole fucking week, even if there are other people that could do it, they always ask her!” she was angry, and very worried. You looked exhausted, as pale as a ghost.

Tommy and Maria gave Ellie a saddened look as Maria cleaned your wound. Ellie had checked. There were no other cuts. Just that deep slash on your forehead. It was still bleeding. She was sure it’ll need stitches.

Joel fell silent, all of them were, ‘cause they all knew it was true.

“You know she loves you, that’s why she can’t say no to you. But there are more people out there willing to help, she doesn’t have to do everything, fuck!” she exasperatedly dragged her hands over her face.

That’s when you slowly started to come back to consciousness, the cut on your forehead making you hiss in pain as you opened your eyes.

“Baby?” you heard Ellie’s voice, and in a mere seconds she was right beside you, one of her hands reaching for your cheek, her eyes focused on you and her eyes brows were furrowed on worry.

“How are you feeling, y/n?” Maria inquired and you look at her, she too looked worried.

“What happened?” you inquired as Ellie slowly help you sat up. You still felt heavy with sleep.

“You collapsed, that’s what fucking happened.” Ellie says and when you look at her, you see her anger under all her worry.

“Ellie…” she shook her head. “I’m sorry baby.” you whispered and you saw her melt, her eyes saddening.

“You scared me to death, you know? Seeing you there, bleeding and unconscious on the floor…” you hugged her, and she holds you gently, Maria pulling away to let you two be. Tommy and Maria leave Joel, you and Ellie alone, knowing you three needed to talk and close the door to the room behind their back.

Joel took the first-aid kit and sat down beside you.

“You’ll need a few stitches, kid.” he said and you nodded. He too looked sickly worried. “You need to say no every now and then, y/n… You can say no.” he said, a warm hand on your shoulder.

“I know. I’m sorry.” he nodded and gently rubbed your back.

“It’s okay. Just…, take care of yourself, alright?“ then it was you who nodded.

Ellie sighs, and you held her hand when she let go of you and you hissed when Joel poured alcohol on the cut to start stitching it up. She rubbed the back of your hand with her thumb, and sat through it all with you, making sure to get you back to your shared apartment and into bed.

She held you all afternoon, all night. And when the morning came, she held you tighter. It was clear that she didn’t let you go to that party, instead putting a good film and making you two something to eat.

It was clear she loved you. And even more that you loved her too.

xxx

ellie williams masterlist! <3

[forgetriestowrite]

There's something about how the Archeart kept saying "we are just like you, we are animals, etc etc" and like yeah at their cores all the gods are like mortals in that they want to survive but also no my dude, just because you can die doesn't mean this is going to be a simple yes-or-no decision, save the gods or don't, because you are not just like us, everything you do affects the entire world, and it's so interesting to me because it's a mirror to what Ashton said however many episodes ago about how BH should be the ones to make the decision because "we're nobodies", which yeah compared to gods you are nothing but you are also not the laymen anymore. You are not just the lowly criminal, just the farm girl, just the guard, just the toymaker. You are the last remnant of the Titans, an Exalted Ruidusborn destined to save or destroy the world, the Savior Blade of the Tempest, a centuries-old werewolf with more life and experience under his belt than most of the people you know. What you do affects the entire world.

AND

How the Archeart, the entire time they were saying all these things, relating themself to BH, had this tone like "I know everything, I know what's right and here's a simple solution, an out so you don't have to keep agonizing over this" but it's not simple. It has never been simple. "Predathos won't go after the world because you are just crumbs to it" but how do you know that. Because you're a god? I'm calling bullshit because this is the one thing that scares you, or at least scares your family. Just because Predathos ate two gods and nothing else before doesn't mean that's how it's going to go again, especially now that the gods are harder to get to this time. Like Orym said, when something is starving, it will go for the crumbs if that's all there is.

idk ruminating on that whole conversation has been really interesting because it looks like a simple solution, but it's another suggestion from someone who's afraid, but yet again thinks they have the right answer.

[blueper-saiyan]

I’m overanalyzing something that’s canonically not meant to be thought about, for fun, so here’s a speculative Saiyan biology question: how often do they actually need to eat? I’ve sort of joked about the possibility that it’s like large predators irl where they gorge themselves occasionally and then wait until the next big kill. This would balance out the amount they’re eating to closer to a normal human, just a surprising amount in one sitting, and dodge the thing I’m about to go off the deep end about. But I think they’re probably supposed to need that amount frequently? Which is like, rodent levels of frequency and portions, but unlike a small mammal, a huge amount of actual food consumed. It’s fine if there’s only a handful of Saiyans on a whole planet but how did that work when there was a lot of them? That’s a massive amount of food, where is it coming from? Are they mostly feeding their army by taking food from conquered planets? They’d still need to be producing enough for their homeworld. Is it being farmed automatically and that’s how they can have the majority of their whole species be soldiers? But like, Gine has a job processing meat, so it’s clearly not entirely automated. Stuck thinking about Saiyan agricultural production and supply logistics help.

Unfortunately, I can also say that almost immediately after finding out the amount that Saiyans eat, the back of my mind did jump to “how fast do they starve?” Like, is that a much bigger threat for them than a human or do they have about the same amount of reserves, even if they’re eating more? If it is way faster, how does that affect how they view food/hunger? As a fun irl example, hummingbirds have such an insane metabolism that they would potentially starve to death if they slept at night. So they don’t sleep like normal, they enter a state that’s more like hibernation to slow their metabolism down enough to survive. Many hummingbird species are fiercely territorial because they need access to their food source or they starve. I imagine a theoretical hummingbird society would be thinking about food differently. And because this is my indulgent post where I get to talk about animals, I’m also going to bring up vampire bats, which could also potentially starve if they can’t feed within two days or so (I did not go deep into scientific literature to find original numbers and sources for this estimate I’m sorry true bat fans. Actually same goes for the hummingbird estimate but I know more about birds.). Unlike the more territorial hummingbirds though, vampire bats roost together during the day in colonies, with the same other bats repeatedly. And their food source can’t be guarded like a flower patch can, so there’s less purpose to territoriality. So they can form long term friendships with each other by interacting in ways like grooming each other. Within these friendships, when one bat gets a meal during their few-hour-a-night feeding window, but the other one doesn’t, the one who got enough food will often share with their friend to keep them from going hungry. Then their friend returns the favor when their roles are reversed, keeping them both alive, along with the rest of their friend network.

So those are some very different responses to needing food nearly constantly. If I were deeper in ecology mode I could probably try and come up with explanations based on the types of food source and territory and other factors for why, but I’m here to apply this to Saiyans lol. Honestly, a cooperative strategy would make more sense given that they’re pretty human-like, but that’s certainly not the sense we get given of their society. Were they always super individualistic or is that a recent development? Are they even actually individualistic or is that fully a societal role thing (elites are different from lower class warriors)? Or is the idea that they don’t cooperate partly a lie made up after their deaths anyway? Speculative biology for intelligent species get the extra layer of culture just to make things more messy and fun. We also know pretty much nothing about their original home planet and the actual context that shaped them, so I don’t get to apply other factors, like how easy it is to defend food sources or how important it is to stick together. We probably won’t ever get to know anything more about their original homeworld/Sadala, which is disappointing given that we got hints about it, but it does leave more room for speculation.

[johnnycakesswitch]

Favorite little moments in the movie

• Dally swinging down from the damn roof when Ponyboy got jumped 💀

• Soda checking on Steve’s nose in the background in the beginning of the movie 😔😔 he’s such a sweetheart

• “I’m gonna make it my business to get the guy who did that to your face >:( ”

• Pony and Johnny giving Two-Bit’s car a push start such little brother energy

• Ponyboy being mad as hell laying in bed w Soda when he’s telling him Darry loves him a lot bro looks like this the entire time 😒😠☹️

• “here come the hobos” that whole little bit it’s so real like visiting your friends/sibling at work and bothering them

• Pony helping Johnny slide under the gate at the drive in

• Johnny telling Two-Bit “get out of my hair >:(” when he comes and scares them and Two brushing a comb through his hair

• Marcia wearing Two-Bit’s jacket 💔💔

• I’m sorry but Bob’s “Cherry 😡 what’s going on 😡 what are you doing!!” Is actually hilarious the way he says it makes me laugh

• “what time is it?” “I don’t know I went to sleep too 🙄 💅 ” they should’ve let Johnny say the fuck bc ik he needed to add that to a lot of the end of his sentences when talking to Pony

• Darry looking at Ponyboy through the window and picking up the paper just so he could slam it down

• Soda unbothered resting on the couch 💅 bro does not give a fuck

• Johnny rubbing Pony’s arm right when they first rub away 😔 bffs

• Pony yelling at Johnny to run when the Socs went after him ☹️ he knew how scared Johnny must’ve been

• “you really did kill him huh Johnny 😥” “yeah 😕🧍‍♂️”

• the whole scene at Buck’s, they’re all so fed up with each other 💀 but the way Dally helped them come up w a plan, zero hesitation, gave Pony dry clothes and his own jacket, as much money as he could get them, it showed a lot about Dally’s loyalty

• “don’t point the thing at me, will ya? It’s loaded, come on ✋🙄”

• Pony has the most youngest sibling energy of anyone talking abt “why do I have to act like a farm boy” Johnny should’ve told him bc I don’t damn want to tf

• Pony imagining that he’s home, I love the glimpse into his everyday life

• Johnny not knowing where to put Pony’s hair that he’s cutting so just dropping it in Pony’s lap 💀

• as scared as he was, Johnny constantly comforting Pony in the church even when he was upset and terrified himself 😕

“Johnny 😟 there’s a monster outside 😰” “what 🙄”

• Johnny blowing his smoke rings

• Dally pulling Pony’s hair to wake him 😭

• one of the first questions Pony asking being “how’s Soda doing is he upset?” ☹️

• “YOURE starving??” Johnny was sick and tired of these people 😭😭😭

• Johnny asking where Dally got the car is so funny “where’d you get this car? HUH??? 🙄” like

• them BEGGING Dally to watch the road ✋😭

• Pony mad as hell when Dally asks if they think Cherry might like him 💀

• also of course Johnny gets to ride shotgun in Dally’s car 😌 Pony gets the back 😒

• Dally attempting to yank Johnny back into the car then his little “you gonna get him? 🙄”

• Curtis brothers reuniting at the hospital 💔💔 then Darry carrying him back inside ☹️ the best boys

• Tim on the couch in the morning 😭 “hey kid 🫤”

• literally the entire following scene, it’s so domestic and shows their everyday lives but I’ll go into more detail:

- Two-Bit and Steve being so genuinely happy to see Pony and him just as always mad as hell about his eggs

- “beer for breakfast there Two-Bit? 🫤”

- “morning Mr. Universe 😄”

- Darry picking up Steve

- Soda telling Pony to shut the door and Pony just ignoring him

- Darry telling Soda to go get dressed and him instead going to sit on the couch assumingly bare ass naked to watch tv 💀

- “why don’t you get a job you ever think of getting a job for a living Two-Bit?” And “Soda, shoes” Steve has the best lines I stg

- Darry telling Ponyboy and Two to do up the dishes like this is rly everyone’s house

• “boy he’s so greasy he glides when he walks”

• Two-Bit cutting up w the Socs while Pony and Randy talk he’s so 😭😭

• the doctor saying Johnny has been asking for them ☹️ poor baby, he must’ve felt so alone and scared

• Dally being a brat and his goofy ass laugh 😭 like tf you mean you threw away your hospital gown 💀 and him saying Tim came to visit him like ok I see you Tally

• Two-Bit checking Pony’s temperature, they all care abt each other sm

• Steve and Soda in the pre rumble scene, Steve throwing cards at Soda, the arm wrestling, talking about why they like to fight, give me more Stevepop I beg

• “Curly always said you were a good kid” ik Pony’s ass was thinking omg he talks about me 😍😍😍

• Dally making sure Johnny knew how proud everyone was of him ☹️💔

• Steve asking Soda if he looks tuff 😔

• Dally calling the house and even though Steve answered him specifically asking for Darry ☹️ he could’ve told anyone what was going on but he wanted Darry then everyone without a second thought going to help him

• Pony’s absolutely heart wrenching “no” right as Dally dies and Darry yelling at the cops

• “is somebody sick?” 😕

• Darry smiling reassuringly at Pony in court 😔 then the hug at the end when everything works out

• Soda’s monologue and Darry promising that they’re not gonna fight anymore 😔 then “let’s go home I’m cold”

Anyway all these little moments are so important to help build up all of the characters! I love all of them and think every moment is so important to the overall story

[mashedmangos]

I feel like Duck is an interesting character that I wish we got more insight into. He’s nicknamed because he’s supposedly unaffected by things going on around him, yet we can see that that has changed somewhat in the series. He’s still very much a happy child but Kenny indicates he’s traumatized by Hershel’s farm. I feel like he’s underrated- there’s so much more to him that we just don’t see. I wonder how he would’ve changed if he survived longer, but I almost feel like his death represents loss of innocence and childlike joy. Everything is so much darker in s1 after he’s gone, because Duck represented something more than just being Kenny’s kid. Thoughts?

THIS OH MY GOSH

His presence as a whole kept spirits high in the group, after his death the group seemed more dull and sad (whilst that's most likely because Kenny was going through a depression, it was still caused by Duck's death) he was so much more than just another character. He's mentioned in every season (s3 mostly depends if you're with Kenny or not), he clearly had a lasting impact on Clem

One thing I noticed when replaying s1 was that after he'd eaten the food at st Johns and Mark is literally on the floor, Duck sounds confused and disgusted, literally asking Katjaa "what did I just eat". The fandom make jokes about him eating the food even after Lee tells them not to but I feel like they forget the motor inn group were starving and Kenny even mentions to Lee that the journey to the St John's dairy that "Duck didn't look so good on the walk over to this place" he's a kid who's starving he's going to eat the food infront of him

On the topic of Hershel's farm and the fact that Duck carries guilt for what happened there, I feel like the fandom ignores how Kenny literally tells Lee about how Duck feels like it's his fault and he feels guilty. It shows that even though he's enthusiastic and happy, he still carries the trauma. So many people in the fandom water his character down to just "stupid kid lol" but that's not really it at all

There's so much more I wished they did with Duck's trauma, at the very least having a scene with him when he's bitten or anything at all but the fact that he stays silent the whole time was kind of powerful in itself. A talkative character who was broken down by the idea of their death to a silent shell of themself, clinging to the person they love the most

He is an interesting character despite not having the most screen time in the world and I wish people didn't just water down his character because they consider him 'annoying'

[snailsgarden]

Hii! This is my first time requesting something on Tumblr so sorry if it's worded weirdly! May I request a Farmworld Finn x female reader (one-shot or hc whichever is easier) but the reader is from the 'original Ooo' and the reader from the farmworld replaces Huntress wizard in farmworld, could you include how the kids would react? (sorry if it's a lot 😭) thank you !! <33

wanted this to be acessible for not only fem ppl so i made hcs with specified parts for a fem reader ^_^

DILF TIME with FIONNA&CAKE!

cw: traumatized dilfs, farm!finn is hot im so sorry, reader is mostly fem aligned but it's readable. — sfw but i cant stop calling him a dilf.

these kids would LOVE you!!

they would always be asking u to go play w them, do their hair n stuff.

love them parent figures!!

for fems, im sure bonnie probs grew up without a female figure in her life, so having u would invite her to a whole new world 😭😭 (honestly same for the boys, they all live w a white grumps old man 🤕)

playing hide n seek with the kids.

i just know they'd drag you everywhere

and finn is sooo happy abt that omg it's the cutest thing for him

he's so happy you have a good relationship w the kids

(please move in)

so uhm hc is farmworld finn is definetly touch starved!!

hold his hand, hug him, kiss kisses, he's always in for it!!

with you, they finally eat something other than soup

jake likes to lay on ur feet frfr no cap!

at the start of your relationship, which was most likely a friends to lovers situation, you'd comfort finn over his wife's loss.

once he got over it, and you'd helped him with his kids being ever so caring, he'd realize how much inlove with you he truly was.

one day, you'd talk, and he didn't even know *how tf* but he'd made you his partner.

once in your relationship, he'd open up more n more, even telling you a bit of his tragic past with magic.

and you always made him comfortable.

—    ✦     .     　⁺ 　    .     ✦     .     　⁺ 　    .      ✦

"hey, could one of you guys help me with setting up the table?"

you'd tell the kids as you prepared a meal, figure swaying as you stir something in the pan. once one of them set it up, you'd call out;

"dinners ready, everyone! come eat before it gets cold."

the kids would run all the way to the kitchen, all going to grab their plates on the table and serve themselves.

finn would most likely be cutting up wood, and you'd have to go find him by the yard to call him in for dinner.

he wanted to finish his working, but gosh, all it took was a simple kiss, a phrase;

"you could always finish that up tomorrow",

and, BOOM, he gave in.

[qqueenofhades]

How accurate is the ‘medieval peasants worked less then we do today’ statement? I looked it up because I find it very hard to believe, but had trouble making sense of it since history is not my strong point.

The answer to this is complicated, and represents a lot of (indeed, often erroneous) assumptions about past and present alike. Either the past is presented as a terrible place where everyone was miserable and dirty and assaulted all the time, or as an essentially more idyllic and pastoral place where people didn't have to contend with capitalism, credit scores, minimum wages, underpaid work, and all the other onerous apparatus of the modern economic system. Of course, neither the excessively bad or the excessively good version is true, and usually reveals more about the point that the modern debate wants to make, rather than anything to do with history itself.

First, I would like to note that the whole "all non-king medieval people were peasants" stereotype likewise really grinds my gears, and it is often presented uncritically in claims of this type, clearly intended to draw a parallel between overworked medieval people and overworked modern people. Which is fine, but again, not entirely accurate. As should be obvious to anyone who thinks about it for two seconds, medieval society consisted of all kinds of people and all kinds of occupations, both skilled and unskilled. Like, who do y'all think built the cathedrals? A bunch of random grain harvesters from nearby Podunkville? There were brute laborers who pushed wheelbarrows and hauled stones and etc, but there were also highly educated architects and engineers, who knew how to do things like make sure Durham Cathedral would minutely adjust over hundreds of years to the boggy ground it was built on, and not just fall down. There were master artisans, masons, glassworkers, sculptors, carpenters, etc etc. (See the creator of a recent "medieval" Netflix show claiming that medieval people had no use for art and me wanting to kick him like a football into the stratosphere). In towns, there were merchants, brewers, embroiderers, greengrocers, butchers, bakers, everything else you need to run a basic local economy. There were soldiers and mercenaries and other military occupations, which became increasingly professionalized throughout the medieval era and not just a matter of recruiting the local guys from down the road. There were priests and clerics and an extensive church bureaucracy. There were academics and professors and scholars and writers. Etc etc etc.

Anyway, the point is that when you're talking about medieval peasants, you're probably referring to the people who lived in largely rural or agrarian environments and made their living primarily from subsistence farming and animal husbandry for a landlord. Obviously, they did work hard in physically grueling occupations (though they were generally not malnourished and starving, as I have written about before, except in years of bad famine or crop failure, and then their wealthier employers would suffer too, because they all existed in the same material goods universe, whereas the rich and poor are millions of miles apart today). Their wages were often low, and even in the absolute worst of the Black Death’s first wave in 1349, King Edward III of England issued the Statute of Pleading that attempted to keep wages down and prevent peasants from negotiating for higher rates, even in the middle of a literal fucking apocalyptic plague and crushing labor shortage. (He was ultimately not successful). Widespread discontent with the exploitation of the peasantry, the crushing tax rates to fund pointless foreign wars, and other oh-hey-that-sounds-familiar problems led to the Peasants' Revolt in 1381, and the widespread popularity of the Lollards, a social and religious reform movement who criticised the static hierarchy and endemic inequality of medieval European society. So there were obviously some of the same problems as there are today, especially in regard to economic inequality and systemic oppression, and medieval peasants, far from being stupid sheep who just put their heads down and took it, were just as involved in trying to organise movements and protests to change it.

However, medieval peasants did not exist in global capitalism (obviously) and thus both their work and the reason for it was different. This was before the Protestant Ethic of the late 19th/early 20th century, that explicitly linked religious salvation with hard work in the capitalist system. Martin Luther bitched about indulgences so much because it was an accepted system to just pay the church something and be like "okay I'm good, I can kick back and not worry about it." (The medieval Catholic church had many, MANY problems, but the fact that Luther is so often presented as the "good guy" heroically saving these lazy dissolute people tells you all you need to know about how Protestant triumphalism informs Western historiography). In 1215, at the Fourth Lateran Council, Pope Innocent III had to issue an explicit degree to order people to go to church or take communion more than once a year, which he would not have had to do if they were all mindlessly devoted zealots who spent every waking moment there. Medieval people liked to sleep late and chill out on Sunday, just like modern people do now.

Obviously, religion was a more explicit and structured part of their lives than it generally is now, but sometimes the "medieval people worked less" argument is presented as the all-powerful and Machiavellian church craftily providing the people with a lot of public holidays so they didn't revolt against them. As noted, medieval people complained about and ignored and rebelled against the church anyway, and anyone who ever tells me that they were all uniform and brainwashed and always accepted the Catholic church's view on things needs to read one (1) book on the 13th century. Besides, the church just never had that level of total control over society anyway, and this presumes that everything they did was in deliberate bad faith solely to preserve their secular/social power -- which, while secular/social power was also often at stake, is likewise a wildly simplistic misreading of how things actually worked, and what the church actually wanted to do.

There were indeed a lot of public holidays, both religious (i.e. saints' days) and folk (Lammastide, the harvest, Celtic festivals, etc), where people weren't expected to work, and/or to go to church instead. As noted re: Pope Innocent and his struggles in this department, this was often not necessarily the case. There were also ordinary community holidays like house-raisings, weddings, christenings, Christmas, etc etc., where people could (and did) often have a good time for days. There were fairs, tournaments, carnivals, markets, and other opportunities for leisure or to attend entertainment events. So it certainly wasn't the case that peasants were always slaving away with no respite, and that if they weren't working, they were in church. They also didn't have to work for their entire lives; elderly peasants could retire and be supported on a portion of the overall estate yield, in medieval social security, and if this wasn't given to them, they could and did sue their landlords to get it. So yet again, medieval life was NOT just nothing but filth and misery and being worked until you dropped. People are people. They have lived as people in all ages and eras of the world. They have enjoyed themselves and worked and lived and died. We do need to examine the very real problems of the modern world, but I continue to hope, however vainly, that we don't need to keep relying on excessively distorted versions of the medieval world to do it.

[karmarox]

Chaos and the Lamb

Or: My Leshy X Lamb / Shrubwool headcanons (Sorry to the Kallamar fans that ate up my wet beast character study for doing Leshy first but a reply made me inspired)

First off, as a preface for pretty much any Bishop x Lamb ship in general to be healthy the Lamb has to be one that has either worked through their revenge/moved past it, obviously. Generally speaking in my interpretations of canon the Lamb would have gotten any closure/Justice they were seeking in the first go around and then by the time of entering the post game and freeing the Bishops from their eternal punishment they would have found another purpose in the Cult/as a God. So, aside from any lingering feelings over seeing them again, in their eyes, they got their revenge, sentence, and both the Lamb and the Bishops all got a second chance after death. Anything else is no longer personal (although more benevolent Lambs probably does have feelings for what a dangerous, stagnant state the Bishops left the lands in).

Leshy in particular I think the Lamb would have an easier time forgiving/accepting due to a combination of Leshy being the youngest and weakest and arguably having the least involvement/responsibility in everything that happened as well as by virtue of being the youngest/weakest being the one who spent the longest in Purgatory. So already the Lamb is a bit kinder to them than the other Bishops.

Leshy was the god of Chaos, so despite everything he does have a bit of a "Letting Nature Takes Its Course" mentality. While initially bitter about the whole getting killed and letting his family down and being put through Purgatory only to discover everything that happened after he was gone, he ends up having a surprisingly similar mentality to the Lamb in that there's nothing really "personal" left to feud over in his second life. He's pretty much neutral to the Cult, but warms up a lot more once he finds out the Lamb is freeing his siblings too.

As for how they bond... well, being young gods forced into a role without much teaching gives them both a lot to talk about. Leshy is actually surprisingly really competent in pretty much any task given to him despite his blindness and chaotic luck and tendency to get distracted. The latter can generally be solved by just changing up the things he's given so things don't get too monotonous. Leshy ends up finding that he enjoys being given tasks he thinks are "easy" and being rewarded with lots of free time and praise. In return Leshy ends up helping the Lamb learn a whole lot more about nature. Also tries to encourage them to have more fun and recreation time. Totally on a whim (and maybe to see what kind of trouble/shenanigans the Lamb would come up with for "fun").

The Lamb is surprised at how competent Leshy is at pretty much any job or chore given to him. Farming, Cooking, Bartending, Logging. Basically as long as Leshy can keep his mind on the task he's one of the most efficient workers around. Discovering that Leshy is absolutely and totally weak to praise and positive reinforcement was an accident, but one that Lamb quickly learns from and totally begins exploiting.

Finding out that Leshy is also highly weak to physical contact was also an accident. Probably tried petting him as a joke like one of the Dog followers after a good job once they've gotten more friendly with each other. This got a bigger reaction out of the worm than the Lamb expected. So they ended up doing it more, and Leshy pretty much turned into a mushy bush in their hands... And then the Lamb also ends up realizing at the same time how starved for touch and physical affection they are.

It just progressed from there. Pretty much any time they talk to each other, at least a bit of touching will ensue. It grounds them both. A comforting presence despite everything. Petting, holding, brushing, a gentle touch amidst chaos. The Lamb feels relaxed in ways they forgot/never knew by being able to hold and lean on someone whenever they want and having that someone respond positively. Leshy highly enjoys feeling different parts of the Lamb (and also enjoys the Lamb's reactions and tries to imagine/remember what they look like).

They get pretty mushy even in public. It's fondness expressed not in words or kisses but in holding hands, caresses, touches, nuzzling even in the middle of conversation. Followers and onlookers are either jealous, d'awwing over how endearing it is, embarrassed over how much handholding is going on, or completely baffled if they're more familiar with the history.

As an aside: The Lamb's bell ends up becoming one of Leshy's favorite noises. It sounds nice, and nowadays means something good's probably going to happen to him in a moment. Mortality isn't so bad. He still wants to see if restoring his sight is still possible, though. He can get around without his eyes, but being able to see his loved ones again and remember what they look like would be nice...

[awesomesaurous]

-rant, please excuse the salt-

I really wish Don’t Starve Together was a different genre of game. I know that’s stupid because the objective “Don’t Starve” is the whole foundation of it, but I kind of just wish I could take the look and the loose story and make it more of an adventure and less of a never-ending survival game. I think in the Hamlet DLC for the base game, the “town” aspects of it scratched that itch a little bit, but I want more. The interface could even look exactly the same. I played the demo of Cult of the Lamb, and that game has a similar top-down 2D look to Don’t Starve, except there are in-game “cutscenes” and you have dialogue options which advance the creepy little narrative. Hollow Knight was good with this too. It’s a metroidvania, so there’s no crafting at all (I don’t consider status upgrades to be crafting), but like most RPGs with a silent protagonist, the story is furthered through exploration and interaction with NPCs. Some people love survival games, and I enjoy them quite a bit, but I like them to have an endpoint. The Flame in the Flood has a brutal difficulty curve, but it does reward you for your persistence, and it’s by no means impossible to beat. The journey takes you further and further along a river which at first seems endless - but it does have an end, and that’s what I want, I guess. Closure.

Hades is one of the most enjoyable games I’ve ever played, and the main reason was how much you are rewarded, even for failed attempts. You might totally choke on a run, but even so, every time you venture out you’re gaining more darkness/gems/etc that you can invest back into your stats and weapons. As in - there is no wrong way to play the game, you will move forward and improve no matter what. I love that. DST has finally dipped into this territory with Wilson’s skill tree, but I think they ought to give every character a similar mechanic. The skills would be specific to each character, and I think would give players more of an incentive to do repeat runs. At a certain point the whole game gets boring, and depending on my mood I sometimes boot it up, think about all the trees I’m going to have to cut down, and then immediately close the game, because I’m sick of doing virtual chores.

Stardew Valley was so addictive for me that I had to delete the game to get control of my life back. That game is nothing but farming and chores, yet I didn’t get tired of it. I think that’s because if you want to, you can ignore any aspect of the game you don’t care for, and time will pass anyway. You can spend all your time farming, or just mining, or focus on relationships with NPCs. Obviously with Don’t Starve, you can’t ignore food because starvation is an ever-present threat.

I also don’t give a damn about boss fights. I never have, in any game. I’m always eager for them to be over so I can get back to actually enjoying the game again, but nope I have to hit this thing 1000 times without getting permanently killed. Don’t Starve’s fighting system is shit, and it always has been. The hit boxes suck, and the fact that I need to download mods just to see health levels for the enemy is ridiculous.

I’ve had a lot of fun with DST, but I think I enjoy the fandom stuff more than the actual game. Same with TF2. It’s pretty fun to play, but I enjoy watching SFM videos and stuff like that more than playing the actual game. Don’t Starve has such fun characters and such an appealing style that it draws people in, and the animated shorts promise this wider world and a more intriguing story that isn’t in the actual game. Most players won’t even get to the cryptic hints at the story that are in the actual game (the Ruins, etc) due to the difficulty curve.

There’s a lot of creative energy and highly imaginative world-building, but when are we going to see it put to use? If anybody has any thoughts on all this, feel free to leave a reply.

[justslowdown]

Now that the floodgates have opened I want to share about this perfect little microcosm of what was fucked up about the eco-cult situation.

They had 3 mini cows obtained for the purpose of doing rotational grazing. Instead, they were allowed to completely demolish and destroy trees because they were starving.

There was a green pasture across the road. Us non-family, farmhand type people asked repeatedly if we could do ANYthing to get the ball rolling to move the cows.

We asked if we could buy more hay from our own pockets to feed them more often, if we couldn't make a moving plan. Instead, the leader opted to spend wild amounts of money on a coconut and agave mixture to offer them, which was eaten by the goats instead. That went on for months.

The leader had not just complete veto power but had to be the one laying out a plan of action for anyone to be allowed to do anything. If I, someone with years more hands on experience, offered a slightly different viewpoint, that was taken as a threat and insult. Even saying that milking goats and sheep isn't functionally that different besides teat placement. Because I've done both. "Well the videos I watched--" ma'am.

There was a sick, sick, horrible, abusive idea on the farm that fasting is the solution to most health problems. Ill animals were fasted. Ie, deprived of necessary energy and killed by inaction. The farm had heavy losses. When I checked a goose's body condition, for example, they asked me how I even knew what I was feeling when i could tell their breast from their keel--how to explain that if you raise animals, you literally need to understand basic physiology in a way that isn't theoretical...? Feeding the flock more when they were underweight and dying was a radical suggestion and again, taken as some kind of threat to the leader's ideology.

NOTHING they did was hands on or intuition based. It all had to be taken from studies and theories they'd read and decided were Absolute Truth. If 5 studies said one thing and 1 small study said the opposite, but it aligned with their worldview, that was the only one that mattered.

So the cows kept starving til their cull date. The leader was off the property when I finally got the butcher to come out, which we weren't told beforehand. The meat was tough and had almost no fat. The household kept buying Whole Foods beef (not farmer's market or a neighbor of course! Never!) (The leader's husband works for Amazon--no one ever discussed it)

[qjackmanifold]

A thorough exploration of "Time To Smile".

For context -- over a month ago, this YouTube channel called "Time To Smile" popped up, posting those spammy Facebook style positivity videos that are just viral clips with voiceovers on them. The weird thing about this channel is that all the voiceovers, for a while, were done by Jschlatt. (Some people assume that this was AI TTS - and the acronym of Time To Smile is... well I feel like it's fairly obvious).

I find it heavily unlikely that these videos are actually TTS, though. Here's a list, with examples, of each person featured on the channel (more than just Schlatt have appeared since the first few weeks of posting, though he remains the primary narrator). Pick whoever you're most familiar with, or SwaggerSouls if you're not particularly familiar with any of them. You'll notice that while the content of what they're saying is particularly generic, it's far too natural to be a text-to-speech generator.

Jschlatt Jack Manifold Yumi TommyInnit Slimecicle Wilbur Soot Ludwig SwaggerSouls

As to not clog things, I'm putting the rest of this post under a read more link :)

There's lots of aspects of this channel that point to it being more of an obscure bit than an AI text-to-speech spam channel. From the subtitles, which have the modern TommyInnit style bounce, the high focus on primates in the channel's earlier uploads (less so now, but still notable. Perhaps a reference to Schlatt's obession with monkeys), and the fact that multiple YouTubers (who are roughly in Schlatt's orbit) have leant their voices for this project.

The profile picture also gives off a deeply unsettling vibe, being an apple 3D emoji avatar thing on a sky with clouds, and a neon green ring around it. (Gonna mention here that there's an account on TikTok, @/timetosmile.tr, that reposts their videos. It's not an official account, which is obvious when you look at the profile picture).

They also respond to comments sometimes. Like This.

Every single video uses the same song as background music - First Step by Hans Zimmer. And the exact same snippet of it as well.

At some point, every video started to end with things like "subscribe if you think pigs are like people!" or "subscribe if you think Harpo deserves the world!", or just "Subscribe!". Eventually, the videos started to end with just "subscribe if you think-", without allowing the narrator to finish their sentence.

In the community tab, they often post polls (a tactic of YouTube channels to farm engagement, since you get channel posts on the mobile homepage from channels you've only watched once or twice... it's this whole thing.)

That is the only poll they post, over and over, occasionally interspersed with text posts that say "What made you smile today, Smilers?". More recently, the posts have gotten a tad sadder.

So you might be wondering, why?

I speculate a number of things:

It's a weird obscure parody Schlatt came up with that's he's roping his friends into for shits and giggles

It's an experiment to see if stupid "viral" content can really get 10M subscribers purely through YouTube shorts, to demonstrate how vapid and regressive the website's algorithm is (Schlatt is very vocal about the way YouTube is run in their Twitter replies)

It's a commentary on the mindless cycle of reaction content that Schlatt and a lot of his collegues have found themselves in. Commentating over others' content, but adding basically nothing to it -- but it pays the bills. It's heartless, lacks effort and passion, and yet if it stops, the views tank, and the channel fades to obscurity. It wears you down, constantly churning out content. Always content. Slop. Something so substanceless that huge quantaties of it exist and yet those who consume it are always hungry for more, constantly, unendingly, without slowing the pace or allowing time to digest or process any of it. Always starving, always being given more but never being satisfied. It's a nightmare for everyone, nobody is winning and yet the wheel keeps turning.

All of the above.

So, yeah. Jschlatt viral slop channel. Love it.