#I would follow every order without complaint

[ruinix]

A Dark!Quinn thought:

What if you finally give in to him? Like you tell him that he owns your mind, body, and soul?

I know this is dumb, and it's okay if you don't want to do this.

I love Dark!Quinn so much!!!!!!!!!

🚩Hi! Dark Content ahead! 🚩

Hi, lovely! Been so long since my last dark blurb. Are you still there? I hope you are. Again, that (your prompty/thot) is my dream. Being owned--WHAT?! Who said that?! Anyway, dark blurb requests are open again (i say while being a snail). Remember to follow the request format 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

TW/CW: 18+ MDNI, Smut, Dark (not too dark but also not light. in the middle, imo 🫡. Unhinged Q thoughts), Extreme Overprotectiveness and Possessiveness, Dominance (m), Submission (f), Handjob, Slight oral sex (m receiving), Unprotected Sex

Quinn would be staring at you from the living room, his mind telling him to help you with chopping the vegetables you were prepping, his worry simmering as the thump, thump, thump felt like it was cleaving his soul. He wanted to do the mise en place but you told him that you discovered a dish you wanted to cook for him, so he let you. Worst decision of his life. Knives were a hazard. Your grip might slip. You might get hurt. He fucking hated that.

He couldn't sit still until you finally finished with the prep. He had to swallow his protest when you opened the stove so abruptly that you jumped when the fire started. Fuck that. He needed to change the stove into an electric stove. His heart pounded in his chest, up his throat, up his head.

Honestly. He wasn't use to you cooking or having the initiative to cook anymore. He had established that he would be cooking for both of you. The fridge was full of meal preps that he made and that were only labelled by when they were made. He made sure there will be a variety per week. You were free to grab two—or three—for lunch or dinner or even breakfast. You could heat them up in the microwave...

His thoughts trailed, suddenly thinking that you may even be using the fucking stove to heat them up. He truly needed to buy a better stove. Maybe induction would be better. It didn't matter if he needed to buy new cookwares. He would buy anything as long as he would be sure that you were safe 24/7.

What if he increased your allowance instead? You could order takeouts from restaurants. You did liked going out for brunch sometimes. You sent him a lot of photos whenever he was on the road. That was another dilemma he had a hard time grasping. If you were out, possible danger to your wellbeing increased tenfold.

It was already hard enough for him to accept that food elsewhere didn't pose danger, but he understood you deserved to be spoiled with whatever you wanted to eat. The thought of you out and about—with your friends or not—without him had made him lose it. He would snap at his teammates, his hands vibrating as he clenched his fist around his phone while he marked every meal photo, every selfie you sent. He would count the seconds that turned into minutes, into hours until you texted him that you were home. Only then he would loosen up. Only then he could breathe.

He only wanted you to be safe. Was that a hard ask? He told you that many times, but he didn't think you understood the weight of his words. Especially when you almost grabbed the hot metal lid of the pot. He had enough. He was up immediately, casually guiding you out of the way, not minding when you planted your hands on your waist.

If you were anybody else, he would've tune you out, but you were you. He listened to your complaints and your adorable attempt to take over again. Not like you could do anything. No matter how hard you try to push him and snatch your laddle, he was still stronger than you. And you knew that.

The moment Quinn met your eyes, you immediately froze. The moment he looked at your outstretch hand, you dropped it to your side. He didn't need to do anything else. He merely looked at you and he already had you stepping back. Your heart beat faster, visibly shown by the way your carotid artery pulsed. When he finally gazed at your eyes with your pupils swallowing your irises, you let out that tiny pathetic whimper.

"Sit down," he ordered, his voice rumbling out of his lips. His lips twitched into a smirk when you did as you were told. "Such a good girl, my Love."

He pretended he didn't see you shifting on the stool, your legs closing tightly, your breaths turning ragged. Oh, he was fucking hard. Did you know how difficult it was to focus on the dish you were making when he knew how wet your sweet cunt was right now? Did you know how much his cock ached almost immediately at the sight of you following him? You might not listen to his reminders, but when he was with you, you did. Every time. Like a good little slut desperate to please him.

"Now tell me what to do with this," he said in a calm tone.

You stuttered, your words sounding like whines, your voice wobbling like you were about to cry. He could practically hear your need for him the longer he ignored you. Oh, he had spoiled you. You think you could just defy him, prevent him from protecting you, be so fucking careless with yourself. You dessrved to be ignored. Just a little punishment for you, because you needed to learn your lesson.

"Quinny," you called after he finished cooking and did the initial clean up. "I thought I was good. Why are you ignoring me?"

Of course, you didn't get it. You were so intelligent in your career and in life, yet when it came to him, you were utterly clueless.

He stepped into your space, his knee nudging yours open, his hand grabbing your neck, the other softly carressing your cheek. His fingers grazed over your face. When he squeezed over your pulse, you gasped, leaning towards him, seeking more and more. You were too perfect. His damnation.

You knew he loved you, but you never understood how deeply. You were the cause of his insanity. You were the haze over his logical mind. You were the blood in his veins. You were a promise of escape. Of comfort. Of savation. The claws of your existence gripped around his heart, making him bleed, making the muscles work to beat harder and harder and harder. You were his reason to live and to keep playing in front of many. You were everything and beyond. Yet you didn't know that. You saw him but also didn't. He kept trying to make you see, but as much as you follow his order, as much as a good girl you were, you were still so blind of his love.

That frustated him.

"How many times do I have to tell you to be careful?" He traced his thumb over your eyebrow, down over your eye which you closed. Your breath hitched when he gave it the slightest pressure, when he pushed you back that he knew the counter must be digging on your back. "How many times, my Love?"

"I am careful," you blurted, clearly unintentional.

He frowned, stepping back. You nearly fell and he almost fucking caught you. He was so weak when it came to you. It took all of him to walk away. All of him not to grab you and carry you up his shoulder. All of him not to laugh when you ran after him. Just like that you had also eased the darkness that was swallowing him whole.

He didn't stop, folding his sleeves, undoing the second button of his shirt, until he reached your shared room. He sat on the bed, nearly groaning when you knelt between his parted legs without instructions.

"Sorry, Q. I'm trying," you reasoned as your hands shook while you undid his buckles, his pants. Your breaths were loud and choppy.

"Not fucking new," he spat. His voice was full of venom that had your tears welling up your eyes. "You always try, but you are clumsy and a fucking brat." Your tears fell, yet you moaned when he held your hand around his leaking cock. "The pot could've burned your hand when we have a fucking mitten." Up and down, he guided your fist. His voice were almost a fucking growl. "Trying is not enough. You need to be careful. Repeat it."

"I'll be careful," your voice hitched as he groaned when he swiped your thumb and his over his dribbling slit.

"Promise me."

"I promise," you sighed when he wiped at your tears with that same thumb. You parted your lips immediately when he pressed on them. When he slipped his thumb over your tongue, you whimpered before you sucked. You jerked him, burning pleasure all over his body. You say with his thumb in your mouth, "Oh, Quinn... can I?"

He hummed, pressing his thumb further inside, but he didn't. He always held himself back. It was tiring, but he never cared. You weren't ready for him. He would wait even for all of his life until you were. He was waiting, because if he didn't, you would break. You would run away. He would be forced to lock you up, chain you down in the villa he had purchase so long ago. He didn't want that, because it would mean that he would not have you. He didn't want a husk that wouldn't love him back. That would be a nightmare. No. Never. He only wished for you to love him as intensely as he loved you.

"I want to have you," you muttered.

'You already have me," was what he wanted to say.

He nodded, letting you go, leaning back on one hand, grabbing your hair, when you licked from his base to tip, lapping and sucking on his crown. Holy fucking shit. He met the movement your head with small thrusts that took him deeper down your throat. He cursed as you gagged, as you gulped, as you moaned around him.

When he felt he was about to come, he pulled you up, kissing you with hia tongue meshing yours. His hands gripped your waist, letting you ride along his dick, shorts damp from your pussy drooling. He scratched along your back, his trimmed nails digging into your skin. He unclasped your bra, prying it off you after your shirt.

"You're so wet for me." Quinn praised, kissing down your throat, sucking on your flesh hard enough to leave bruises. He laid you down on the bed, helping you out of your bottoms, smirking at the way your arousal leaked. "All for me."

His finger traced your slit, making a mess with your pussy juices, teasing your quivering entrance. Your pussy was physically hot, drenched, thirsty. He didn't bother with his clothes. He couldn't when you felt so soft on dick. Slowly, he slid in. Both of you gasped at the mere sensation of each other.

He needed you. He needed you. He needs you—

Then you said words that his ears ringing, his heart threatening to explode, his cock painfully hardening.

"Take everything. This is all for you, Quinn. I'm all yours."

He couldn't move. His eyes marked every detail of your face. No tells. No lies. Your submission to him was silent yet loud, clear like crystal glass, so fucking exquisite. You were just lying there with your eyebrows drawn, your hands next to your head and waiting to be held, your cheeks flushing, your teeth sinking down on your lower lip.

He was fucking shaking as he gripped your wrists over your head. He lowered himself, letting his weight pin you down.

"Say it again," he panted. His desperation leaked from the cracks you've made on his control.

"I'm yours." A tear fell down the side of your eye. "Stop looking at me like I don't love you. I do. Stop holding back. Use me. Take me. Do whatever you want."

He hissed, pressing his forehead against yours. Ah, now he realized that maybe you were ready all along. Maybe he was the clueless one afterall.

He kissed you, rougher than he had ever did, as he fucked you, long and deep. His teeth bit down on your lips, drawing your blood that he lapped at greedily. The taste of cooper had his eyes rolling back. Fuck. He needed that too much that his eyes burned with tears.

"Mine," he growled into the skin of your neck. He licked the sheen of sweat forming on your skin, biting and nipping your flesh. "Mine. Mine. Mine."

He let go of your hands to take your thighs. He pushed them up, spreading you, opening you. He rammed into you, reaching and abusing the spot that had you screaming, that had you coming, that had you writhing. He didn't stop. He couldn't. He grinded into you, tugging at your clit.

You thrashed as another orgasm was taken out of you. Over and over again. Until he came so deep inside of you.

It wasn't enough.

As you two pant, you both knew it wasn't enough.

So he fucked you through his oversensitized half-mast, his balls protesting. He didn't care. His 'i love you's were melting into unintelligible words that mixed with his claiming 'mine's.

He had you. He would take you.

He would make you tell him you're his.

Again and again.

Good night!!!

Lovelies @dancerbailey3 @loser-pretty-girl @tiredallthetimex @quinnintheabyss

-> more thoughts? Dark List. Want to be notified? Join my taglist!

[hanasnx]

" NOW CLOSE THOSE EYES AND LET ME LOVE YOU TO DEATH " — darth vader.

MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ NOTES: unfinished wip. WARNINGS: fem reader ノ established relationship ノ dumbification ノ possession ノ toxic behavior ノ sex work mention ノ brief rape reference.

DARTH VADER keeps you close to his chest. If you weren’t his lover, you’d fit the description of his prisoner. Armed escorts follow your every move, if you’re to leave the Executor you’re to request permission from your lord, and if you expect leniency you will be sorely disappointed. Regardless of your status as his partner, you abide by the same rules as everyone else. Even a teacher’s pet can’t get away with everything.

“I feel a little… stifled.” you concede tentatively, peering at him out of the corner of your eye in your unease as the elevator carries the two of you to the bridge. He does not return your gaze, and in a way that exacerbates your nerves. Being his lover means you’ve had to adapt to his mannerisms, and you’re keen on reading his most minute displays, otherwise veiled by his full-body armor.

“You have everything you need here.” he insists. It cuts the conversation as a leader would, but the bruised ego of a partner persists through the statement. It goes unspoken that he’s referring to himself as the “everything” in question.

You face him with an open mouth to form your rebuttal, but you hush yourself. The door slides open, and he exits, leaving you to watch his cape billow out behind him from his stiff stride.

Lord Vader does not like it when you leave his side—to say the least. He sees no reason other than his own, and he’s confident that any needs of yours are simply the silly dream of a silly girl. There’s not a place in the galaxy you need to be other than with him, and he reminds you of that when you resurface the discussion in his throne room.

“Your request is denied, Administrator. I trust this will be the last I hear of this.” Once again, he shuts you down without room for negotiation, and you clutch hard onto the fabric of your clothes behind your back. He senses your hesitation to accept his decree, and his fingers tap his armrest in a graceful wave. “You’ll do well to hold your tongue lest- you- lose- it.” The words are enunciated in that baritone voice, the one that sends a shiver down your spine at the prospect of being threatened by a Sith Lord. One that is not accustomed to being questioned, will deem it a dangerous invitation to others. If you’re allowed to second-guess his order, what stops others from following your example? He must clip it where it first grows.

You take an appropriate second to gather yourself. “I understand, Lord Vader. I understand perfectly.” you respond with a respectful bow of your head, and take steps back until you can turn to exit the throne room. Once again, he’s refused your reasonable request for shore leave without cause. However, his mistake is believing there isn’t a thing you can do for yourself to counteract it.

There’s no one higher up the food chain on this ship than Darth Vader, and there’s no one higher up than he you can take this matter to. The Emperor doesn’t deal with misdeeds of employment, and the Grand Admirals would never waste their time with the complaints of subordinates. No, this matter would have to be solved domestically, and it’s entirely within your limited power. Lord Vader may be perceived as a wrathful god, but he is still just a man. A man who stalks the corridors late at night to haunt your humble dorm seeking company less than virtuous. A man who summons you to his chambers for depraved performances and a bare body to warm his bed. A man who’s become adept at emptying his every desire—his every inch—into you.

It is an expectation—and an expectation you will subvert.

“You ignore me, my love.” It is said the very next day after a cold night of loneliness, no doubt. Vader’s observation falls on uninterested ears, performing your duties as such as he strides aside you. As you maintain inspections—as is your assignment—you glance at your records listed on your datapad.

“My sincerest apologies, my lord.” you speak as if you’ve rehearsed it, and you lead him into an abandoned lobby room to ensure no one sees you attempting to outrun the commanding officer aboard. “If you could refresh my memory, I would be most grateful.”

This is one of the few times he affords you more of a leash than anyone else would receive. He looks down at you. “Do not toy with me.” Acting dumb is often a grave mistake when it comes to Vader. However, you’re bold enough to stand your ground. Your silence is met with him raising his head, disengaging you as an equal, and now as your superior. Gloves clasp in front of him. “You refused me.”

“Ah,” you exclaim in feigned discovery, and mirror his positioning. “You mean when you summoned me last night.” There’s a quirk to your lips he does not appreciate. “Am I not allowed to say I don’t want you?” your question is meant to come off as proud, but its divisive truth leaves you vulnerable. If your commander invokes power over you to fulfill certain expectations, where would that leave you other than as a concubine? You’re uninterested in being stripped of your autonomy further than you already have.

Implying there is a situation in which you would not want him, causes your lover to shift forward and impose on your space, compensating for the sting of potential rejection by puffing out his chest like some territorial animal. His voice lowers to a thunderous rumble, “You never had before.” Which is to say that deducing your uncharacteristic behavior leaves him with the conclusion that something’s changed.

“Your request was denied, my lord.” you regurgitate his own words back at him with an air of sick glee about revenge. Even remaining perfectly still you can see how he’s taken aback by your actions. You gather your things to return to your work, speaking as you go, “How can I please you when I am so disheartened myself?” you feign self-pity, knitting your brows together as you taunt him. You straighten with your datapad pressed to your chest. “If there’s nothing else…” A forlorn glance to your side, and then you hear it.

“Dismissed.” he spits in disdain.

For the next few rotations, he does not call for you. His will power is not to be underestimated, so your hope dwindles the longer he steels himself against your obvious manipulative withholding.

[sweetfushi]

HIS LOVE HABITS PT 1.

fluff, slight angst | giyu tomioka, obanai iguro, sanemi shinaguzawa x reader, mentions of guilt, crying, mentions of death | word count. 1.1k ◦ notes. watching the new season is making me feel nostalgic about the start of the anime :(

GIYU TOMIOKA.

Giyu shows his passion for you by spending most of what would be his alone time with you. He doesn’t always talk much during the times he’s around you, but he isn’t opposed to you talking. Giyu doesn’t mind where he is, as long as he’s with you and knows you’re safe - despite his underlying feeling of perhaps being incapable of protecting you completely. Thus, he sometimes feels guilty for wanting to spend time with you, but he compensates for that by allowing you to guide him - choosing where to hang out, leading most conversations.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like his alone time. You out of all people know best how much he indulges in silent reflection and meditation, but you’ve also noticed that he’d consult you for those things. He’d start using some of his silent reflection time to ask you questions riddled with guilt. He finds that you’re much like Tanjiro in your overwhelming ability to comfort people.

“You know,” you start as you’re walking alongside him, making your way to the noodle house, “I’m really thinking we need to change our plans. The owners know our orders at this point,” you grin, stretching your arms out.

“Supporting a small business doesn’t sound like a bad thing,” he retorts, plopping his hand on your head and ruffling your hair slightly. “Besides, that makes ordering our food quicker, does it not?”

You roll your eyes but are forced to agree.

Following that brief conversation, the two of you spend the next half an hour eating to your hearts’ desires. Giyu will pause every few minutes to remove the food items from your plate that you don’t like and add them to his with a small smile, both at your sweet voice thanking him and the sight of more food on his plate.

You’ll always require a sweet treat after your meal, whether that be a drink or more food, so you either head into town to survey the sweet stands or drop by Mitsuri to see if she has any stored - she typically does and you’re forever grateful for that.

All the while, Giyu will let you ask him question upon question, start conversation after conversation, all without complaints just to lengthen the time he gets to spend with his beloved.

OBANAI IGURO.

Obanai expresses his love through promises. They’re never empty ones and he makes sure you know that, sometimes even goes as far as gently pulling your ear to discipline your ignorance towards such. Sometimes the promises are of small value, such as promising to not eat your food or not start training without you. Other times, they mean the entire world, where he’ll promise that he’ll return from a dangerous mission or that he’ll not get injured because he couldn’t ever be so weak as to let a demon injure him fatally.

Every time he promises you something, the eye contact with him is almost intimidating. Obanai feels as though averting his gaze from you connotes distrust and uncertainty, so he always ensures to gaze into your apprehensive eyes when he speaks his truth. In moments of vulnerability, when you’re crying late at night because you’re certain tonight awaits his death, he’ll emerge from the Master’s room determined to fulfil his assignment and not evoke worry.

When he sees you in such a state, sniffling and averting your gaze, he’s convinced that you’re stuck in a cycle of paranoia and fear.

“Are you really so sceptical of my return? Don’t be so foolish,” he says, narrowing his eyes at your despondent state. “I promise I’ll return to you.”

You hear Kaburamaru hiss before feeling him graze your cheek with his face. You whimper and allow him to do so, only until you motion for Obanai to sit beside you. He does so without question and cranes his neck to look into your eyes, to which you turn away from.

“Have I ever broken a promise made to you?”

You swallow thickly. “No.”

He huffs. “So what is your concern?”

You shrug but, in reality, know what is bothering you. Instead of telling him, however, you lift your head to look at him and pout in an attempt to satiate your tears. “I’m going to kill you if you don’t come back, Iguro. I swear.”

You can’t see his mouth, but you know he’s smiling as he nods and presses a quick kiss to your temple. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA.

Sanemi shows his love for you through acts of service. Initially, you hadn’t noticed it, but you start questioning him when your katana appears sharper and cleaner, your uniform neatly pressed, and your food managed to suit your tastes.

“Have you only just noticed? I’m almost insulted,” he scoffs, gently smacking the back of your head only for you to groan and swat his hand away. “The swordsmiths are practically sick of me,” he grumbles, watching you admire the shine on your katana.

You grin and elbow his side, making him wince and shove you. “You’re so in love with me.”

“I don’t know where you got that idea from,” he teases, flashing you his canines as the two of you lean closer to each other, faces inches apart as your childish squabbling continues. Sanemi snickers as you attempt to maintain your scowl but inevitably fail at the close proximity, turning into loud laughter when you slump over and rest your head on his chest.

As a Hashira, the Kakushi already know you, but recently have appeared in near fear of your presence (despite being aware of your empathetic personality). At one point, you explicitly ask why the change in treatment, to which they respond: “Shinazugawa-san isn’t forgiving if your uniform is anything but perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“As in washed, pressed and perfumed.”

You pause, shock evident in your expression. “Uh,” you almost break into laughter, “you don’t have to do that, really. I’ll… have a talk with him, make sure he’s not bullying you.”

The Kakushi give you a pointed look, to which you nod and purse your lips. You mumble, “well, he’s getting slapped.”

Sanemi always ensures that the menu provided to the cooks that cater to you suits your tastes. However, you’re highly concerned with the fact that Sanemi thinks anything is obtainable through an arbitrary expression of power, but you have the advantage of being able to discipline him for thinking such without consequence.

“The Kakushi help us, not serve us!”

“That’s a very liberal way of looking at it– ow!”Sanemi groans at the punches you land to his chest, making him double over and eventually lay down on the grass with no attempt of fighting back. “Okay, okay, I’ll be nicer.”

sweetfushi © do not modify, repost, translate, copy or use my post. all that is included in this post, aside from the photos, fictional characters and universes, belong to sweetfushi (zee).

[invinciblerodent]

This is going to be very ranty and disjointed, probably borderline incomprehensible post, but with the "return" of Dragon Age Discourse (and really, did it ever go anywhere?) and me repeatedly seeing the complaints and dismissals of DA:I as a "chosen one"-type of a narrative, I just.... I keep finding myself thinking about the relationship of truth and lies within the game.

Throughout the course of DA:I, the idea of a malleable, flexible personal identity, and a painful confrontation with an uncomfortable truth replacing a soothing falsehood, follows pretty much every character throughout their respective arcs.

There are some more obvious ones, Solas, Blackwall, The Iron Bull, their identities and deceptions (of both those around them and themselves) are clearly front and center in the stories told about them, but this theme of deception (both of the self- and the outside world) is clearly present in the stories of the others as well.

Like, for example, ones that come immediately to mind are stories like that of Cullen, who presents an image of a composed and disciplined military man, a commander- all to hide the desperate and traumatized addict that he sees himself as.

Dorian grappled with the expectations of presenting the image of the perfect heir to his father's legacy, the prideful scion of his house, his entire life (he even introduces himself as the result of "careful breeding", like one might speak about a prized horse)- all while knowing that his family would rather see him lobotomized and obedient, than anything even just resembling his vibrant and passionate self.

Cassandra calls herself a Seeker of Truth, and takes pride in that identity- only to learn that in reality, she has been made a liar, a keeper of secrets, without her knowledge or consent, and it is up to her to either uproot the entire organization and painfully cut out the abscess it is to build it back from the ground up into something respectable, or let the information she had revealed sit, and continue to fester.

And this theme continues and reframes itself in, among others, things like Sera's own inner conflict between her elven heritage and her human upbringing, or in Cole being caught in this unconscionable space in-between human and spirit, between person and concept, etc.

The Inquisitor isn't exempt from this either.

I feel like this is where the core of the many misunderstandings of this plot come from, why so many people continue to believe that Inquisition is a "chosen one" or "divinely appointed" type of story, because I think many might just... not realize, that the protagonist's identity is also malleable, and what they are told in the setup/first act of the game is not necessarily the truth.

The tale of the Inquisitor is the exact opposite of that of a "chosen one" story: it's an examination and reflection of the trope, in that it is the story of an assumption that all wrongly believe to be the truth, and thrust upon you, even if you protest. The very point is that no matter who you choose to say that you are, you will be known as the Herald of a prophet you don't even necessarily believe in, and then that belief will be proven wrong, leaving you to cope with either a devastating disappointment if you believed it, or a bitter kind of vindication if you didn't.

There's a moment just after Here Lies the Abyss (when you learn of the lie you've been fed your entire journey in the game) that I don't often see mentioned, but I think it's one of the most emotionally impactful character moments, if you are playing an Andrastian Inquisitor who had actually believed themselves chosen (which I realize is a rather unpopular pick, lol): it's when Ser Ruth, a Grey Warden, realizes what she had done and is horrified by her own deeds, and turns herself in asking to be tried for the murder of another of her order. As far as she is concerned, she had spilled blood for power, and regardless of whether she was acting of her own volition at the time, whether she had agency in the moment, is irrelevant to her: she seeks no absolution, but willingly submits to any punishment you see fit.

And only if you play as an Inquisitor who, through prior dialogue choices, had established themselves as a devout Andrastian, can you offer her forgiveness, for a deed that was objectively not her fault- not really.

You can, in Andraste's name, forgive her- even though you, at that point, know that you have no real right to do so. That you're not Andraste's Herald, that Andraste may or may not even exist, and that you can't grant anyone "divine forgiveness", because you, yourself, don't have a drop of divinity within you. You know that you were no more than an unlucky idiot who stumbled their way into meddling with forces beyond their ken.

You know you're a fraud. You know. The game forces you to realize, as it slowly drip-drip-drips the memories knocked loose by the blast back into your head, that what all have been telling you that you are up to this point, is false. And yet, you can still choose to keep up the lie, and tell this woman who stands in front of you with blood on her hands and tears in her eyes, that you, with authority you don't have, grant her forgiveness for a crime that wasn't hers to commit.

Because it's the right thing to do. Because to lie to Ser Ruth is far kinder than anything else you could possibly do to her, short of refusing to make a decision altogether.

There are any number of criticisms of this game that I can accept (I may or may not agree depending on what it is, but I'm from the school of thought that any interpretation can be equally valid as long as there's text that supports it, and no text that contradicts it), but I will always continue to uphold that the Inquisitor is absolutely not- and never was a "chosen one".

They're just as small, and sad, and lost, as all the other protagonists- the only difference is that they didn't need to fight for their mantle, because instead of a symbol of honor, it acted as a straitjacket.

[sanctus-ingenium]

we need to talk about Inprnt.com

Following a really good post with more screenshots and evidence by @dynasoar5 i'm going to talk about my own experiences with @inprnt and why I am about to put my shop on indefinite hiatus from Monday the 14th of August.

First of all I'll say that since starting my print shop last year it has been a significant help to me financially - I was able to not worry about affording car insurance or motor tax (together commonly over a thousand euro) when I bought my first car, for example. I am immeasurably grateful to anyone who chose to buy one and I treasure all the pictures I've been sent of my prints hanging up on people's walls. Right now they are displayed in a real (if small) art exhibition in my home town.

(top right print is not from inprnt though)

They're great prints. Never had any complaints about them. But here's what's going on behind the scenes.

Earlier this year, around March or April, Inprnt sales started increasing in regularity. I'd made as much as $600 a week during previous sales when I made proper promo posts here, but with this increase in regularity, I felt that I couldn't make promo posts every single week. And then one day, I'm not sure when tbh, the sale just never ended. It just didn't stop having that "Ending soon! 15% off your order" banner at the top of the site. Right now it says "Final Hours: $5 Worldwide shipping and save up to 35% off your order!" and not even for a second do I believe in this final hours bullshit. It's been 'final hours' for weeks now. Months, even.

Why is this a problem? Well, how tf am I meant to make a promo post for a sale that is always "ending soon!!" and then never ends. One week it'll say "this weekend only!!" and then when the weekend is over, the sale banner just changes its wording and the sale doesn't end. I can't promo this, it makes me look like a liar and a skeevy salesman by association! It makes the site look like it's 1 week from crashing and burning, and the site owners are just scrabbling to suck as much money from artists as possible before they drown.

And they are sucking money from us. To peel back the curtain, Inprnt money can only be transferred to my paypal account 30 days after the sale is made, just in case the order is cancelled and refunded. This means I used to make one withdrawal every couple of months, when there was enough build-up of money to make it worthwhile. It also forbids withdrawing any sum under $50 btw. I would make a withdrawal request and then, after a 10 business day wait, it would reach my Paypal account.

Not anymore! The past few withdrawals have taken over a month to complete. They are straight up keeping my earnings from me for longer the agreed period. This was my last fulfilled withdrawal:

Note the date.

Almost two months.

And here is the latest withdrawal request that still has not been fulfilled.

It's coming up on 1 month and if the pattern continues, it could literally be November or December by the time I fully clear all sales.

So what's going to happen to my print shop? Because my art is currently being exhibited with a QR code linking to the shop, I can't close the shop this week. Instead I will close it on Monday the 14th of August, next week. That means that on the 14th of September, I can withdraw all of the remaining money without having any left over. My account balance will go to 0 and stay there. Although I'll de-list my prints I will leave my account there, because at the end of the day I don't want to leave Inprnt. It still offers the best artist margins and as I'm now unemployed after graduating, the additional support is such a load off my mind. So this is a chance to wait and see - if they improve their services, I'll happily re-open.

It's a big deal to me because selling prints is sort of my ideal life as an artist. I never had the attention span or self-discipline for commission work and I found that it left me creatively stagnant. I always want to try new things, new concepts and ideas, and being able to think "yeah, people will like this as a print" while I experiment is honestly very reassuring. And I know that in going on hiatus, it'll break a lot of "buy a print" links in my circulating posts. Oh well lmao. If you want to buy a print right now - go ahead, it might be your last opportunity. Another way to support me would be to check out my ko-fi for once-off donations or some nice sketchbooks/comics/book samples you can buy, or subscribing to my Patreon.

As of right now, Inprnt owes me $381 (the unfulfilled request submitted above for $186.60 and my current standing balance of $194.80 which takes 30 days from each transaction to clear).

[theemporium]

Congrats on 10k!! This is such a fun idea 😍 I'd like to order smut-berry daiquiri #6 please, with captain hughes 🙏🏽

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

6. “I’m going to fuck every thought out of this pretty little head."

.

Quinn would like to think he has a lot of patience. 

It was one of those traits that he always had, being the oldest brother who had to deal with whatever tantrums his younger brothers would throw. It was one of those traits that gave him an upper hand in hockey, being able to keep his cool a lot longer than some of the other guys with short fuses. It was one of those traits that made him a good captain, that made the boys want to follow him.

He had always been a patient guy and it took a lot to get him to snap, to throw that patience out the window without a second thought. 

And somehow, you were the person who would test that control every single time. 

You knew which buttons of his to push. You knew how to wind him up. You knew how to make the calm, collected Quinn Hughes crumble in a way nobody else ever could. 

And as much as he wanted to say he hated it, he didn’t. Not close. Not at all. And you knew that which only made you ten times worse.

“Is this what you wanted?” Quinn gritted out through clenched teeth as he tried to keep his eyes locked on you, on your fucked out expression, on the way you took his cock so well. “Huh? C’mon, baby, not so mouthy now.”

“Quinn,” you whined, all breathy and high-pitched and it sent a rush of pleasure down his spine as your nails dug into his shoulders like you needed to feel him closer. “Please.” 

“Please what?” He muttered, feeling the way you clenched around him, the way you wrapped your legs around his waist to keep him inside you. “Is my cock not enough, baby? Is this not what you’ve been begging for like the desperate, little brat you’ve been all day?” 

“Need more,” you huffed, eyes glossy with unshed tears. The sight shouldn’t drive him as crazy as it did. 

“More? So fucking greedy,” he muttered as he pulled out, as he watched the way you cried out in complaint. “Maybe I should leave you like this. Begging and crying for more.” 

You shook your head. 

“No?” His voice was tinged with something sweet and condescending, something that made you want to press your thighs together. “Wanna be full? Wanna feel me inside you?” 

“Please,” you begged, pouting up at him as you reached to pull him down but he acted faster. You could only let out a whimper as he pinned your hands above your head. “Quinn, please. I’ll be good. Promise.” 

“I don’t know if I believe you, baby,” he hummed, watching the way your body arched against his. 

You shook your head. “I’ll do anything, promise. Just wanna feel you inside me. Wanted you inside me all night, baby.” 

“Hm, look at you getting all teary and cockdrunk and I’ve barely even fucked you,” he groaned, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he spread your legs apart, as he lightly grazed his thumb over your clit just to watch you squirm. “Maybe that’s what you need to stop being such a brat. Maybe that will make you behave.” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, nodding your head quickly. 

“I’m going to fuck every thought out of this pretty little head,” Quinn cooed as he raised his hand to squeeze your cheeks together, to watch the way your eyes fluttered at his words. “Gonna fuck you dumb until you behave like the good girl I know you can be.”

“Please,” you begged, your words muffled but he still loved hearing how desperate you sounded. 

“That’s my girl.”

.

[camzeecorner]

𝙲𝙷𝚁𝙸𝚂 𝚂𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙾𝙻𝙾 ₊˚ෆ 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

smut ღ dividers → @bernardsbendystraws ฅ^._.^ฅ

𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚘𝚢!𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜 𐙚

The day at work was filled with chaos, with rude customers adding to the already stressful day. My feet throbbed with every step, and a dull, persistent pain gnawed at my lower back. Each time I got sent back with the same plate, the complaints echoed in my ears, "The food is too cold," or "This isn't what I ordered", which only caused my frustration to grow. The relentless cycle of dissatisfaction seemed never-ending, it wearing down my patience and energy.

For the past ten minutes, I had been closing out earlier checks from customers who had long since left. The rush had finally slowed, and a calm began to settle over the place. As I finished closing each and every check and logged out of the computer, sighing deeply I leaned my head down, resting it in the palms of my hands. Closing my eyes, I hum lowly silently savoring the small moment of peace the universe had granted me. Just as I went to sit down, the sound of the door opening made me peek up slightly. Instead of the dissatisfied customer I were hoping to leave, my eyes met the sight of five boys, each clad in hockey jerseys and sweatpants. Mentally rolling my eyes, I had to braced myself for the next wave. Grabbing my torn up notepad, I began walking towards them, ready to sit them and take their orders.

“Hi there boys, table for five?” I asked, putting on the fakest smile I could. I scanned around the group taking them all in. They all looked remotely close to my own age. Maybe slightly younger. They all nodded, as I turned on my heels and began walking off. I turned my head to the side and motioned for them to follow me.

I sat them more towards the back corner, which is usually where our bigger parties went. They thanked me and began having their own discussions which gave me time to finish setting their table. I walked off grabbing theirs menus and utensils, bringing them back placing one of each item politely in front of them. I swiftly checked the wall clock seeing I only had 1 more hour of my shift. I smiled lightly and brought my attention back to my table.

“So what drinks will you all be starting off with?” I asked looking around at each of them. They all skimmed over the drink section of the menu and pondered for a brief moment.

“I’ll have a uh.. blue raspberry splasher.” The one in the middle spoke. I nodded and wrote it down along with the price. I waited for someone else to speak up and I tapped my foot silently on the floor. “Okay I’ll have a water.” Two boys spoke in sync, laughing as they did so. “Okay, and for you two?” I asked averting my eyes to the end. “We’ll get Pepsi thanks.” Said the one with long hair. I nodded at them and finished writing each item down.

Walking off I head to the drinks and grab a platter. Grabbing 5 cups putting ice in each. Pouring all the drinks I set them nicely on the platter, grabbing some straws. I walked back to the table and sat each drink in front of its owner.

“So do we know what we’re getting to eat or would you like some more time?” I asked the group. “We’re ready now.” The long haired boy spoke up. I grabbed my notepad from my back pocket adjusting my weight to the opposite side. I tapped my foot impatiently waiting for one to began.

“Yea so uh we’ll have 5 cheeseburgers then like a shit ton of appetizers.” He spoke. He looked up at me for a second, which happened to be the first time at all. I grew tired of standing here with them, feeling the corners of my mouth twitch.

“Okay right, so you just want 5 burgers without the combo meal?” I repeat making sure i understood what he was saying. He nodded at me, looking in my eyes. I felt a little small under his presence but I swallowed it down.

“Okay sounds good. What appetizers were you guys thinking?” I asked with less enthusiasm. I looked around each of them watching the group ignore me. I cleared my throat making myself known.

“Come back in 5 we’re not done deciding.” The middle man spoke up. I huffed and looked to the side, nodding my head. Walking back to my station I pulled my phone from my pocket and opened my messages. I replied to everyone then shut my phone off. I glanced at the time noticing it had been more than 5 minutes.

I walk over to the group yet again and approach them with more of a tired attitude. “Done deciding?” I asked them plainly. “Sure is sweetheart.” The long haired spoke. I grinned lightly at his words acknowledging him. “So we’ll uh have the onion rings and jalapeño poppers.” I glanced around the table before speaking up. “I’m sorry we don’t have jalapeño poppers anymore.” I admitted.

The long hair boy squinted his eyes and ran back over the menu. “Yea im pretty sure it says right here you do.” He smirked looking back at me. I sighed out in annoyance and smiled. Again. “Sir, yes I understand, but these menus haven’t been updated yet. I can assure you we don’t sell them anymore.” He nodded taking in my words. He sucked his teeth and began to speak again. “So if you wouldn’t mind could we still get them? I mean isn’t this false advertising?” He said with fake pity.

I rolled my eyes done with my nice act. “Dude we don’t have anything to make them, we stopped selling them. So please if you would, you can select something else from the menu.” I let out a breath that I had been holding. He looked at me blankly cocking his head to the side. “Ma’am.. have you ever heard the phrase, ‘the customer is always right’?” He asked in a witty tone.

“Yes sir I have.” I said bored. He clapped his hands together in a cheerful manner. “Awesome to hear. So you do realize it’s my word over yours, right?” He asked with a smile that made me shudder.

I chuckled slighty and nodded at him. “You know what, you are completely right. I’ll have your food ready in no time.” I spoke before walking off. Heading to the kitchen I began reading their order stopping at the jalapeño poppers.

“We have a special request of jalapeño poppers also, claimed it was our fault for the false advertising on the menus. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.” I spoke with annoyance recalling the conversation.

The cook nodded and opened the freezer. “They’re in luck tonight. Got one more bag left.” He raised his eyebrows. I thanked him and opened the door walking back out to my area. I sat down and opened my phone waiting for the bell to ring so I could take their food. I noticed the time had went by thirty minutes so I gathered my items placing them in my bag, so when they left I could too.

Hearing the bell around 15 minutes later I jolted to my feet and walked over the window. I grabbed each plate and balanced them on my arms. Walking back I sat the two baskets in the center of the table and put one burger in front of each.

“Look at that. Jalapeño poppers.” The long haired spoke. He grabbed one before tossing it in his mouth. I grinned before speaking. “Guess it was your lucky day.” I replied quickly.

The group sat and talked and while eating the food quickly. Watching them closely making sure they were still okay, I sighed running a hand through my hair. Going back to the computer screen I rang up their check, printed it before walking over and setting it on their table.

Walking back to the computer I waited for one of them to approach and pay. Just as I hoped so much, none other than the long haired boy came over. I smile at him extending my hand for his card.

“Thanks” I mumbled. Handing him back his card, I closed his check. He left me a twenty dollar tip, so I smiled at him sweetly for the first time tonight. “No problem sweetheart.” He winked.

They each gathered their items and began walking out the door. I thanked them one last time before grabbing my own items. I clocked out grabbing my ticket and tossing it in the trash. Walking towards the door I yelled a goodnight, hearing a faint response. I pull my keys out and began walking to my car.

“Hey wait up!” I heard slightly behind me. I stopped and looked over my shoulder seeing them same boy again. I sighed and turned completely facing him. He came to a stop in front of me and smiled.

“Hey there” he spoke up lightly. His cheeks had grown a little pink from the cold air. I purses my lips before exhaling. “Hi” I spoke firmly, trying to make this quick, ready to get home. “Can I get your number?” He asked softly. I blinked at him before shaking my head. “I’m sorry, why?” I asked truthfully. He shrugged and hit down on his lip. “Dunno. Guess you’re cute.” He mumbled. I snickered slightly. “Wow, thanks.” I exaggerated. “Cmon I think you owe me anyway.” He said stepping closer to me. I jerked my neck back slighty taken back from his words. “How do I owe you?” He hummed nodding his head at me.

“Well you did refuse to serve me my food I specifically asked for, then you had such rude manners…” he began listing off. He stepped even closer whispering in my ears. “And I would love to show a bitch like you how to properly speak to someone.” He pulled away and smiled at me. I looked at him completely lost. I hesitated before slipping my phone from my back pocket into his hand.

He quickly typed his number in and put his name. Chris. Cute I guess. Giving me his phone to me I did the same. He handed me back my phone as I did the same, and with one final goodnight he walked off.

Walking through my door I kicked off my shoes and walked to my room. Placing all my bags down I gathered my items for a shower. Walking to my bathroom i slip out of my dirty work clothes before tossing them in my hamper. Turning the water on I let it warm up for a moment before slipping in.

I stepped out the shower after about 25 minutes. I quickly dried off and got dressed getting everything done at once. I walked back into my room and slip beneath my covers. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and noticed new messages. Just as I clicked on the messages I got an incoming call. Looking at the contact name I see ‘Chris’ and groan.

“Hello” I spoke into the phone. I crossed my arm over my chest as I waited for him to speak. “Hey sweetheart, you miss me yet?” He flirted. I chuckle rolling my eyes. “It’s like I can’t even stop thinking of you.” I joked back. I heard him laugh before speaking again. “Send me your address.” He demanded. “And why would I do that?” I asked in an obvious tone.

“Because, like I said earlier. Someone has got to teach you some manners.” I could feel his smirk through the phone. “Is this your pathetic attempt of an excuse to a bootycall?” I wondered out loud. “Maybe, is it working?” He asked. “I’ll text you.” I said finally before ending the call.

I quickly messaged him my address before closing my phone. I waited for his arrival, sitting in my bed. I had been watching Gilmore girls for the time being. Just as I went to get up I heard three faint knocks at my door. Walking to my door I open it and I’m met with no other than Chris.

Immediately Im met with his lips smashing against my face. I gasped and stumble slighty before gaining my composure. Pulling away i scan over his face. “No greetings?” I asked out of breath. Quickly he shakes his head. “You don’t deserve it.” He replied, without hesitation he cupped my face bring my lips closer to his, only this time I quickly began kissing him back.

I led him to my bedroom all while our lips were still attached. I pushed him on my bed softly before climbing on him. I ran my fingers through his hair combing the waves out. I pressed my face deeper into his own savoring the moment and tatse.

I felt him move his hands to my waist before giving me a slight squeeze. I let a groan out letting him know I was enjoying this.

Softly I began trailing my kisses from his lips towards his neck. Finding a good spot i began to suck lightly. I heard him slighty hitch his breath before letting out a small whimper. I moaned at the sound and lightly trailed my fingers over over his stomach .

Without even thinking he quickly flipped us over, positioning me to be underneath him now. I gasped at the sudden movement and looked into his eyes. He looked down at me and smiled slighty. He leaned down and reconnected our lips. They moved in sync as it grew sloppier.

I felt him growing hard under me, moaning at the feeling. As if on cue he slighty pressed his cock straight on my dripping cunt. I whimpered into his mouth and bit on his lip slighty.

Tossing my head back he began grinding his hips into mine rubbing his cock on me. He moaned lowly before biting down on his bottom lip. I tossed my head back while letting my mouth hang open.

Arching my back slighty I peel my shirt off, tossing it on my floor. My boobs bounce slighty from the movement, watching as his eyes trail over them momentarily.

“Get on your knees.” He spoke quietly. I obliged him with a nod before sinking on my knees in the floor. He now stood in front of me, stroking my cheek as I looked up at him.

“Ready for your lesson baby?” He asked with a fake pout. I nodded at him before swallowing down the lump in my throat. “Say yes daddy.” He grinned. I cringed at the words but listened to him nonetheless. “Yes daddy.” I spoke softly.

He patted my cheek twice firmly with the soft touch of his hands, before pulling his attention to his pants. “Now I want you to shut up and take my dick. Any complaints and I’ll punish your ass. Understood?” Nodding softly I mumble a faint yes. Quickly sliding his pants down,he slowed his actions, watching as he began to tease me with each tug. I whined growing impatient, reaching my own hands up.

Suddenly I felt a slight sting on my cheek. He slapped me. I blinked slowly, my head turned to the side. It wasn’t hard or painful but i definitely didn’t expect it. It only resulted in me growing even wetter for him.

“No touching unless I say.” He spoke with a blank expression. I nodded at him before pouting. “I’m sorry daddy.” I apologize. He smiled at me before grabbing my face.

“Open your mouth.” Without thinking twice I did just that opening it as wide as I could. I stuck my tongue out as he lightly tapped the tip of his leaking cock on my tongue. I looked into his eyes as seductively as I could.

Quickly swallowing him fully I hallow my cheeks creating a suction. I move my head slowly gaining speed as I went. Bringing my hand up I gently cup his balls before giving them a slight tug. He moaned at the touch softly throwing his head back.

Gently he began fucking my face as he bucked his hips forward. I pull him from my mouth jerking him quickly. Bringing his balls closer to my mouth I gave both of them a kiss before sucking gently on the skin.

“Shit- that’s it baby” he moaned. I placed him back in my mouth before deepthroating him, gagging on his size. I could feel the tears daring to spill out. Coughing slighty I pull him out my mouth before spitting my saliva on his shaft. I stroked him coating him completely in the juices.

Placing him back into my mouth I could feel him twitch slighty. He grabbed the back of my hair fixing me to look up. Pulling himself out of me he tapped my face repeatedly with the tip of his cock. Pulling back he began strolling himself at a fast paste. Taking it as my sign, I stick my tongue out ready to catch his load. Feeling spurts of his fluids fly on my face and tongue I could only moan at his taste.

Quickly he comes down from his intense high. Walking off he grabbed some tissues and began wiping my face clean. I thank him before sitting on my bed. I wait patiently for him looking off to the side. He walks back into my room and grabs his things. I stand abruptly in confusion.

“What the hell! You’re leaving?” I shout at him. He turns back to me, before walking over. Quickly he presses a kiss to my lips, which I return. He pulls back with a snug smirk. “Didnt i tell u I was here to teach you a lesson? Don’t worry I’ll be back soon to return the favor.” He spoke quickly. He began walking towards my door, before opening it, then shutting it behind him.

I scoff, what an asshole.

Tag list - @shaquilles-0atmeal @monroesturnns @blahbel668 @mattssluttywaist @jetaimevous @nickysturnss @ribread03 @meatballlover10 @mattslolita @sophand4n4

[bananami]

A Day in the Nanami Household

a/n: this one is for the anon that asked for more papamin content. i went full domestic house, wife (gn), and kids. clearly im delusional and have thought about this way too much. and i didn't proof read it. sue me. i would do ungodly things to marry and have children with this man.

Mornings

They go one of two ways: perfectly smooth or absolute chaos. On mornings that things go according to plan you and Kento get up earlier than the kids to have coffee or tea. Some mornings Kento will even order breakfast to the house (a scone and croissant that you'll split between the both of you, five glazed munchkins for Nobara, a chocolate donut for Yuji, and a blueberry muffin for Megumi). Megumi is usually the first one up and will make his own way downstairs to where he knows you and Kento will be sitting on the couch watching the morning news. He's usually still tired and will curl his little body up on one of your laps and probably fall back asleep for another twenty minutes or so. Nobara is typically the next to wake up and Yuji will almost always have to be dragged out of bed. If the kids aren't being too difficult they'll get dressed easily and eat breakfast quickly and without complaint. Kento will help buckle them into their booster seats and kiss you goodbye before getting in his own car to drive to work. Nobara and Yuji will almost always laugh, make kissing noises, or yell eeeewwww!! from the back of the car, while Megumi waves goodbye to Kento until he can no longer see his dad's car. He'll always ask "is dad going to work?" and you'll always answer yes, and Yuji or Nobara will always follow up with "can I go to work with dad?" and you'll always answer no. They'll get out of the car easily, without any push back or crying, and you'll demand a hug and kiss from each of them. Yuji will cling on the longest, and he'll always add in that he's really really gonna miss you today.

On rougher mornings, you or Kento are typically already running behind. The both of you can tell it isn't going to be a good morning when one of the kids comes down complaining about something or when no one wakes up on their own. You have to practically bribe them to get up and get ready for school. Nobara will hate every hair style Kento tries to do on her, and finally he'll give up and ask to trade kids with you. Megumi's eyes will be watery all morning and he'll stop you every five minutes to whisper "can I stay home with you today?" and it'll break your heart every time to tell him no. Some days you do break and keep him home, and Kento will make fun of you for breaking so easy. The breakfast he ordered ahead will be delayed or cancelled altogether, so you'll have to make breakfast. And then of course all three of them want something completely different to eat, Yuji wants eggs and bacon, and Nobara wants pancakes, and Megumi wants cereal (oh and also to stay home *cue waterworks*). Everyone will get a poptart and be happy about it. If he has time, Kento will usually offer to drive the kids to school because he can see you growing frustrated, especially if one of them is sick or Megumi is having separation anxiety. Really bad mornings is when one of them is sick and crying, one is throwing a fit over not wanting to go to school, and the other is running around the living room refusing to put their shoes on because they think it's funny. Kento will use his dad voice, and that's usually where they all fall in line. From there, they'll get in the car, you'll help buckle them in, and you'll make sure you give your husband a kiss before he leaves. Megumi will try and ask one last time to stay home.

Afternoons

Kento works from home two out of three days of the week. It's those days that you two are able to work in any moments of intimacy. Those are your favorite days. Kento takes an hour lunch break. Sometimes you'll eat lunch, sometimes you are lunch (Kento hates when you describe it this way). Sometimes you just force him to cuddle with you on the couch (those are usually after the bad mornings). When Megumi wins the morning fights and gets to stay home, he sticks to your side the whole day. He'll ask to be picked up, or constantly be holding your hand, or he'll wrap his arms around your leg and make it near impossible for you to get anything done around the house. You've brought it up to his therapist and she assures you it's natural for him to have those moments given the situation you and Kento adopted him from. That reminder to yourself usually has you cuddling with him instead on the sofa all day. But he likes the days that Kento is also home because he likes to make lunch for him with you. Kento acts like those are the best lunches ever, you 'lie' and say Megumi made it all by himself, and Megumi lights up from the praise he gets from his dad after.

Sometimes, on days where the rest of the week has been really hard, Kento will cash in a day of PTO or use a sick day to stay home with you. He'll say it's because he wants to help you out around the house, but it's almost always because he just misses spending time with you without the kids around, as selfish as that may seem. Nothing will get done around the house. You'll spend all day in bed or on the couch watching tv, sometimes you'll step out for a lunch date together, and you're only rule with one another is that you don't talk about the kids unless it's absolutely necessary. At some point Kento will attempt to seduce you and you're not sure why you say attempt because he absolutely will. On more than one occasion the two of you have almost been late to pick up the kids. Their favorite days are when you and Kento are both there to pick them up.

Evenings

Yuji is usually the first one jumping into the car and throwing himself at the both of you, yapping on and on about his day at school. The three of them like to listen to whatever four songs they're currently hyperfixated on on repeat the whole ride home. And they'll sing them loudly and really badly until you pull into the drive way. Nobara will jump out of the car and run straight upstairs to take a bath because she doesn't like to smell bad and she needs to immediately wash the school germs off of her. Kento or you will start on dinner or make the decision to order in if neither of you feel up to cooking. The kids always want pizza or Asian food if you choose to order in. While one of you cooks, the other sits down with the kids to do homework. Kento is better at it and much more patient with them when it comes to homework, so you usually opt to cook.

Nobara is a total daddy's girl. For at least an hour a night she will lay on Kento's chest while he reads or sits on his iPad. But when he gets up to get everyone ready for bed she immediately is switching sides, asking for you to help her pick out her school clothes and braid her hair so it's curly in the morning. Then when it's time to tuck them in, she'll switch sides once again, demanding that Kento carry her to bed and check all the dark spots of her room for monsters. Kento will make a show of it, which you'll call him a dork for later. Megumi will sit up in his bed patiently waiting for the both of you to come in and say goodnight all the while Yuji is jumping up and down on his own bed stating that he is not tired and can't go to sleep just yet. Some nights it takes a while to get Yuji to settle down. More often than not, Yuji wakes up in the middle of the night crying (the night terrors are apparently also an expected symptom of his trauma prior to the adoption), and if he doesn't get up to come to lay in yours and Kento's bed then Megumi will get up and you'll find them laying in Yuji's twin together the next morning.

Every single night, you and Kento spend at least an hour together talking about your days or just relaxing in each other's company. You two debrief and plan for tomorrow together, or if it's Friday you plan out the weekend and when you'll make time for just the two of you. Kento is the perfect father and husband, and you never fail to remind him of this every night. And it doesn't matter how chaotic the mornings start because the nights always end the same way, with the two of you (and sometimes Yuji) laying together in awe of the life you built together.

[onlyangel4]

held. cody rhodes. part one.

cody rhodes x chronically ill!reader

synopsis: chronic illness teaches you how to disappear, quietly, politely, without complaint. but when a painful fall at a crowded bar leaves you stranded, it’s cody rhodes who stops. not because of fame. not out of obligation. because he noticed. and he stayed.

faceclaim: dakota johnson

author's note: in this the reader suffers from elhers danlos syndrome, i have elhers danlos so i find it easier to write but if you have a different chronic pain condition please do imagine it as that. for storyline purposes cody didn't have a match.

part two

y/ninsta posted a story

written: yoga to prepare for a very busy weekend. coming 4 u vegas

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you should have said no.

when your friends suggested wrestlemania weekend, it sounded perfect, something fun, something loud, something distracting. and for the first day and first few hours of day two, it was. the energy was electric, the crowd roaring with every entrance, every finisher. you screamed until your throat burned and clapped until your hands ached.

but by the time the main event hit, the ache had crept deep into your bones. Your back stiffened with every cheer. your legs pulsed with the kind of exhaustion that went far beyond tired, it was the kind of fatigue that stole your breath and tightened your chest. you stood as long as you could, until your knees started to tremble and your hip sent a warning jolt down your side.

you sat, smiling for the photos. you laughed when they did, even though your brain was already fogging up, like your body was buffering just trying to stay upright.

they didn’t notice.

you didn’t blame them. you’d gotten good at hiding it, the constant, gnawing pain, the bone-deep exhaustion. you hadn’t told them about your ehlers-danlos flaring up. or the chronic fatigue. or how you’d spent the entire week prepping your body for this one night, knowing you’d pay for it later.

now, "later" was creeping in faster than you expected.

"bar after this?" someone shouted over the crowd.

you forced a smile. "sure."

you should have said no.

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y/ninsta posted a story

written: first ever wrestling show was a good one

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the bar was loud the second you stepped inside.

a pulsing bass beat vibrated through the floors, and flashes of neon pink and blue lit up every reflective surface. your friends flooded in ahead of you, laughing like the night had only just begun. someone shouted something about shots and was already halfway to the bar before you could respond.

you followed slowly. each step pulled at the soft tissue in your knees, your hips, your ankles. everything felt loose. unstable. like one wrong move would unravel the whole system your body was barely holding together.

you leaned against the wall near the entrance, pretending to scroll through your phone while the group shouted drink orders back and forth. your legs were already begging you to sit, but every stool near the bar was taken. and even if you found a seat, you’d have to get back up again later and you weren’t sure you could.

"i think we’re hitting lucky’s next" one of your friends said, tossing her hair back, already halfway out of her first cocktail. "then that place with the rooftop."

someone else groaned playfully. "bar crawl time, baby!"

you swallowed hard. another bar? another place to walk to? another wave of bright lights, loud music, and unfamiliar floors? you were barely holding it together here.

you opened your mouth to say something, to maybe suggest they slow down, or that you’d catch up later but no one was looking at you. they were already on the move, drinks in hand, sliding through the crowd toward the exit like a school of fish.

you blinked.

had they just left?

you turned toward the door, trying to spot someone, anyone you recognised. but they were gone. just like that. no text. no glance back. no "hey, are you coming?"

your stomach dropped.

you weren’t drunk. you weren’t even tipsy. but your body was swaying with exhaustion like you’d downed six shots already. you gripped the edge of a tall bar table, trying to catch your breath. the pain in your knee was sharp now. your back throbbed. your shoulder felt like it might pop out of place if you shifted wrong.

you wanted to sit. you needed to sit.

but you were alone.

and standing still in a crowd of moving people made you feel like a ghost.

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y/friend posted a story

written: bar crawl in vegas baby

y/ninsta replied to this story: did you guys really just leave without checking i was with you

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you spotted a gap near the end of the bar, a low, unoccupied stool.

it looked like salvation.

you took a shaky step forward, then another. the crowd shifted, and someone bumped your shoulder hard enough to send a lightning bolt of pain down your back. you gasped but kept moving, jaw clenched tight.

you were so close.

one more step.

and then your knee gave out.

there was no warning. no dramatic music. just a sickening shift in your joint, and the floor suddenly rising to meet you.

your body collapsed sideways, hands slapping hard against the sticky floor. pain flared up your arm, your wrist took most of the impact and a startled sound tore from your throat, too quiet to cut through the music.

a few people noticed. a couple stepped aside. one guy laughed like he thought you were just drunk.

no one helped.

you stayed down, stunned, trembling, humiliated. your wrist throbbed and your knee pulsed with that deep, familiar ache, the one that told you something had slipped out of place again. and all around you, the bar kept moving, oblivious.

you didn’t know if you wanted to cry or disappear.

"hey."

you looked up, vision slightly blurred, and saw someone crouch beside you.

he didn’t shout. he didn’t ask if you were drunk. he just looked concerned, calm, steady.

"are you okay?"

you blinked, your breath catching.

cody rhodes.

it didn’t feel real, but there he was, close enough to touch, close enough to see you. not the version of you your friends joked with. not the one that smiled through photos. you.

"i think I dislocated something", you managed, voice low. "my knee. i have a condition, it just happens sometimes."

he nodded once. no shock, no pity. just acceptance.

"alright. can i help you sit up?"

you hesitated.

he waited.

carefully, with his support, you eased into a sitting position against the wall. He took off his jacket, some kind of soft designer black fabric that still smelled like cologne and pyrotechnics, and draped it around your shoulders like it was nothing.

"better?"

you nodded, even though everything still hurt.

"do you want me to call someone?" he asked gently.

you hesitated again. "they left."

"your friends?"

you looked away. "yeah. i guess i wasn’t moving fast enough."

something darkened in his expression, not anger, exactly. something quieter. like he’d seen this before.

"you want to get out of here?" he asked. "go somewhere quieter?"

you blinked again. "you don’t have to"

"i know", he said. "but i want to."

he didn’t offer his hand right away. he waited until you nodded, until you said yes.

when you did, his grip was firm and careful, not tugging, not pulling. just steady.

you weren’t sure why this stranger, this star, this man, had stopped for you. but as you leaned into him, letting your weight rest partially on his arm, you felt something you hadn’t felt all night.

seen.

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you sat together in a small alcove behind the bar, a place meant for smoking breaks or staff phone calls. no one else was there. the thump of music was muffled behind the door, distant now, like the rest of the night had peeled away and left just this.

cody sat next to you, elbows resting on his knees, watching the empty sidewalk in front of you both. he didn’t speak at first, and you were grateful for the silence.

the pain was still there. your knee was screaming with every twitch, your wrist throbbed in your lap. but for the first time in hours, you weren’t bracing against the world.

you were just still.

"i looked it up just now", he said eventually, glancing down at his phone. "ehlers-danlos, right?"

you nodded, surprised. most people didn’t remember the name. or they pretended to, and butchered it later.

he continued, quiet. "didn’t realize it could do all that"

"it does more than people think", you said, voice dry. "joints dislocate. nerves go weird. pain gets constant. and the fatigue’s like… walking through water with bricks tied to your ribs."

"damn", he said softly. "that’s brutal."

you shrugged, careful not to jolt your shoulder. "i try not to talk about it much. most people just say i look fine."

he looked at you then, really looked.

"that’s because they’re not paying attention."

the words landed like a warm blanket. no pity. no condescension. just a truth you’d almost forgotten how to believe.

"you didn’t have to stop", you murmured after a moment. "most people wouldn’t have."

"i saw you fall."

"that’s usually when people walk away faster."

"i didn’t want to be most people", he said simply. "and i’ve had people i care about go through chronic stuff. it’s not invisible if you’re actually looking."

you blinked hard. the urge to cry, not from pain, but from being understood, hit you like a wave. you looked down instead, focusing on your bruised hands.

he didn’t ask more. he just sat with you.

and for ten quiet minutes, you weren’t performing. you weren’t apologizing for taking up space. you weren’t the friend who fell behind, or the girl who ruined the night.

you were just you.

and he stayed.

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you tried to insist you could walk.

really, you did.

but about half a block from the bar, your body gave its final warning: your knee locked up completely, and your hip flared with that white-hot burn you knew meant a joint had shifted just enough to be a problem.

you winced, slowing to a stop. "okay", you muttered. "so, maybe i can’t walk."

cody glanced over, his expression unreadable. "alright", he said. "new plan."

"what’s the-hey!"

he’d already crouched down and hooked one arm gently behind your knees, the other behind your back. before you could protest, he lifted you clean off the sidewalk.

"oh my god, you are not"

"too late", he grinned. "i am."

your instinct was to squirm, to argue, to say you were fine. but instead, you blinked against the cold night air and realized it didn’t feel like weakness.

it felt kind of like flying.

"am i heavy?" you asked, half-joking, half-insecure.

he snorted. "you’re lighter than my entrance gear."

you laughed, a real, unguarded laugh that startled even you. "that’s a terrible metric."

"i stand by it."

and then, as he crossed a quiet city block with you in his arms like it was nothing, you saw it, a group of fans standing outside a late-night pizza place. someone gasped. another scrambled for their phone.

you tensed automatically. "oh no."

"it’s fine", he said, not breaking stride. "smile if you want. or don’t."

you didn’t smile. but you didn’t hide either. you just watched the camera flashes flicker for a moment and let yourself exist in it, in this strange, surreal moment where pain and embarrassment were replaced by something softer. lighter.

weightless.

by the time he reached your hotel, you were shivering a little, still wrapped in his jacket, heart beating far too fast for someone who wasn’t even walking.

he set you down gently just inside the lobby, one hand steadying your waist like he was still anchoring you to the earth.

"room number?" he asked softly.

you gave it, half-dazed.

"okay. i’m walking you to the elevator. no arguments."

you nodded. didn’t argue.

as the elevator doors slid open, you turned to him.

"thank you", you said, barely above a whisper.

he tilted his head. "for what?"

"for stopping. for staying. for not making it weird."

he smiled then, small, warm, real. "you didn’t make it weird. you made it worth it."

and just like that, the doors closed, and you were alone again.

but it felt different this time.

not abandoned.

just beginning.

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wweupdates

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 283,384 others

wweupdates: cody rhodes CARRYING a random girl out of a bar like a disney prince and giving her his jacket???

view all 12,292 comments

user1: mans just defended his title and has the energy for this wtf

user2: this is actually so cute

user3: i was at the bar, she fell over and cody helped her

user4: parents???

[rottiens]

✫ AUGURIO┊ You hear him before you feel him, like the flash of lightning that warns of the arrival of a furious thunderclap. His deep voice breaks the silence and it seems that everything, even the dust particles stop for an instant.

word count. 13K

tags. (18+) — explicit content. maid!reader, reader with female anatomy (she/her), toji calls the reader kid/kiddo several times (sorry, can't stop using it), toji is a gentleman (not really) (he tries to be, I swear), toji canonical story, age gap (reader is 25+, toji is in his mid 30s), cw violence, reader is/was harassed by the Zenin clan, reader has family trauma (ofc), references to Christian religion, slow burn, soft toji, angsty, mutual masturbation, dirty talk.

notes. i love toji but i had never written anything official for him, at least something not so long. i didn't expect to write so much, in fact the first scene i started it with the idea of making a drabble but... oops. i got carried away (i love him sm), i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i did because despite being long i enjoyed writing every scene heh. divider creds: cafekitsune.

✫ title inspired by the song augurio by rosalía. read on ao3.

You hear him before you feel him, like the flash of lightning that warns of the arrival of a furious thunderclap. His deep voice breaks the silence and it seems that everything, even the dust particles stop for an instant.

Your body jerks at being taken by surprise, shivers run down your lower back and stop behind the back of your neck, ruffling the hair in that area. Afraid to turn around you remain static for a long second, thinking that maybe that way he would go away and ignore your presence, though to your misfortune that never happened.

"Are you deaf or something?" he asks reluctantly. 

You imagine him scratching the back of his neck as he says that, you wonder if he still has that habit.

"I'm fine," you say dryly, answering that and his previous question which had been 'Do you need help?' — Your hands are still frozen, stretched above your head with the edge of the heavy box barely touching your fingertips, pressing down.

Toji growls and ignoring your clear disinterest in his help, he takes a few short steps forward which send alerts to your head, putting you in a run or fight state. His footsteps are long and firm warning you that someone heavy is coming, and they stop right behind you where you can clearly feel the heat of his body burning through your clothes, the only sign that tells you along with a growl that he really was there and that this was not a figment of your vivid imagination.

Toji stretches his arms above your body taking advantage of his height to grab the box you are struggling so hard to reach and easily pulls it down from the cabinet, dropping it to the floor and the various cursed weapons inside slam against each other.

You don't know what to do or say, but you especially don't know what he wants. After having helped you against your will, in a task you were sure you could have completed alone, Toji adds nothing more. There is no sound, complaint or comment to let you know he is still there.

If it weren't for the warmth of his body you couldn't be sure there was another person next to you in that room. Toji, without his cursed energy to give him away was far worse than a ghost, there was no trace that he existed or ever existed unless you looked him in the face and made sure he was really there.

And after thinking about it and soaking in an awkward silence, you think you guess what he wants from you.

"Hm. Thank you." Though your words bounce off the walls with some degree of insecurity, you think you have pleased him, that he was looking for perhaps a bit of your gratitude, yet he says nothing until after an extended silence.

"Turn around."

You're used to following orders. "Pick that up." "Clean that up." "Shut your mouth." So the command doesn't surprise you; what does, instead, is who the words come from.

Toji Zenin left the clan years ago. Never officially, just one day you woke up and he wasn't there, there was one less dish to put on the table, there were fewer orders to follow and the same thing happened the next day and the next.

No one ever heard from him again, all you knew was from the rumors you heard from your masters. That the man had left the country, that he was now working for the mafia, that they found his body dumped in a dirty alley in Okinawa, so having him here, coming back to order you around as if he returned to the clan after so long fills you with uncertainty.

However you do it, you turn on your heels without making a single noise; credit to the years you have had to learn to be silent and go unnoticed all so as not to disturb and inconvenience the people you serve. You are in front of him and the first thing that strikes you is the sight of his chest, unlike how he used to dress when he lived here he wears a blue striped kimono which makes him look more formal and adult, which however baggy it is, shows how changed his body is now: more mature and bigger.

You raise your head a few inches to find his serious face staring back at you, his longer, somewhat disheveled hair partially covering his gaze and those blue eyes are as expressionless as ever.

You've never seen the scar on his lip so close, the memories of that day make you shudder but you swallow them in your throat like a hard pain pill.

You take the hem of your dress and raise the corners at the same time as you bend your knees in reverence, all this without moving too much because an unplanned movement would lead you straight to touch him.

"Sir. You’re back." You greet him, keeping a neutral tone in your voice. "Welcome home." It's the kindness you're forced to give to every single member of the clan, even if they're defectors who return without explanation. You were no one to ask questions, so you're left only to accept silently.

"I remember you," Toji says, maintaining eye contact. Confused, you frown and allow him to elaborate. "You were that girl."

There have been many girls, sir. That's what you want to say but you bite your tongue. Many of them ran away, many are gone and many were not strong enough to withstand the mistreatment. 

"I'm afraid you're wrong..." 

"Nah." Toji interrupts you by clicking his tongue, then he reaches out and seeing you squirm at the action, the attempt at a wicked smile peeks out of the corners of his mouth. "Easy there." His words accompany his thumb that lands on top of your eyebrow, caressing a small scar that you normally forget is there. His touch is rough, his skin is calloused, but the way he approaches you doesn't feel violent to you so you allow him to carve the skin some more. "You're that girl..., my cousin threw that crystal glass in your face."

His words trigger wild and violent memories that force you to turn your face away from him, Toji's hand hovering in the air as he slowly returns it to the sides of his legs. It was your first week serving the Zenin clan, you were around fifteen when your family sold you in exchange for your servitude. Painful memories come back to you, you remember how you fought, how you spat curses in front of the Zenin family and the more rebellious you were the worse they treated you, the scar on your eyebrow is just one of many.

You look at him again, unable to contain the rage that injects itself into your veins and ends up in your hands making you clench your fists tightly.

"I had wondered where all that anger had gone." Toji looks you up and down. "I guess it was just asleep."

"I have to take that box to the training room, I've already taken too long," you say, giving the box a sidelong glance.

All that anger you had swallowed until you became the good servant they wanted. That reduced the mistreatment, the yelling, the hitting, it served to make your stay here a less torturous one but seeing Toji back in front of you, with his inappropriate comments made that trunk full of pent up emotions open up.

Toji was the only one who treated you like another person. The only one who respected you and said Please and Thank you. The only one who stopped his cousin when he was not satisfied with the glass he had blown on your forehead, he took a glass to pounce on you, getting Toji a scar on his face that he shares with you.

He suffered almost the same fate as yours, only his family never sold him, on the contrary, they decided to keep him and use him as a pet to abuse and make fun of, until one day it stopped, until one day Toji never showed his face in his clan again until now.

You hated it.

You hated the fact that he could be free.

"So they finally broke you," Toji adds before you leave, just as your foot pushes on the door to help you open it.

"Why did you come back?" You ask without turning to look at him. 

"I stopped by to borrow a couple of tools," he says with a teasing tone. 

"Are you going to leave again?"

"Yes," he replies flatly. "Are you going to tell them I was here?"

Your fingers squeeze the box full of heavy weapons and you have to push it up closer to your chest so it doesn't slip.

"Have a good trip." That's all you say before you leave and venture out into the hallway.

The warm sun streams through the glass windows, dusk a few minutes away. Your feet grow heavier, you drag them under the floor, your fingers dig hard into the cardboard— You were jealous, irritated that Toji was lucky enough to come and go as he pleased, that no one knew when he was in or when he was leaving, that no one could guess what his next move was going to be. You envied his freedom.

The door to the training room bedroom hits the wall thanks to your kick, causing the three men in the center to scowl at you. The brunette one rushes at you to snatch the box from your hands, whispering a mumbled "Useless" that has your fingers clenching tighter.

"You may leave." Orders the older of them, but you don't move.

It was the first time you saw his face. He was a man of short stature and gray hair, he had wrinkles on his forehead, cheeks and neck and a long beard that reached to his collarbone. The other two were at least your age, you knew them well, they grew up with you but you had always been hidden under your fear that you never looked up beyond their bare feet or their shoes and now that you were soaking in their features and age difference, the idea that you could fight him for your freedom and beat him flashed in front of you.

"I-"

"Are you deaf? Leave the room."

The white-haired man walks towards you with the katana in one hand, his whole countenance indicating danger. His cursed energy spills all over the place making you feel insignificant. You have never taken a weapon in your hands before other than to clean them, you never fought, you didn't know what your limits or your strengths were but right now you are so high from the adrenaline rush buzzing in your bloodstream that you are sure you can stand up to him.

The old man stops in front of you with the tip of the sword grazing your throat.

"What will be one less maid?" He says and his apprentices laugh at a cruel and unfunny joke. 

You laugh with them, filled with a numbing peace. The old man pushes the tip closer, breaking the skin, tearing flesh and the warm liquid spills down your neck staining your white uniform and the pain makes you smile even more. You want to run away but your knees tremble, your feet don't respond. You have never been so close to freedom before so you succumb to that desire closing your eyelids and waiting with your arms at the end of your destiny, when the old man pushes the blade of the sword a little more there is not even pain, only euphoria for tasting the freedom you have longed for so much.

"Hey." Your eyes snap open and turn shakily to God's voice coming from the hallway. He's leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and you hadn't realized you were crying until the salty taste numbs your tongue. "What are you guys doing?" He casually asks the men, though in reality his eyes are on you.

Your breathing becomes a whirlwind as you see him enter the room, you can't feel him, so it's as if it's all part of a vivid dream or a horrible nightmare. 

"Oh, look who's back!" Laughs one man.

"You're not welcome here," the other shouts as he spits on the floor and Toji moves into the space as if he owns the place. 

In the blink of an eye he knocks out the brown-haired man and leaves him spitting blood on the floor, then he pounces on the green-eyed blond and after an exchange of punches breaks his neck and drops his body on the floor with a crack of the wood that receives his body with a soft bounce.

Then he turns to the old man who, moving the katana away from you, wields it in Toji's direction. Without being able to blink you appreciate the difference in power between the men: between Toji, the younger ones and the old man, the latter being the one who gives Toji the most fight to defeat but after a while Toji leaves him lying on the ground, holding the wound that he had given the old man in the abdomen with his same sword.

When Toji approaches you you can't speak. 

“Are you all right?" He questions you but you can't stop shaking. Toji tears a piece of cloth from his kimono to tie it around your neck to stop the bleeding, the piece of cloth despite getting soaked right away manages to do its job successfully. "It's not going to help much. But it should hold until you can put something better on.” Then he adds, "Good luck."

And how if he never came, he leaves the room at a slow pace, leaving you with a massacre in front of you, blood under your feet, on your neck and staining the carpet.

And in the midst of the mist that was your life at that moment, a ray of light illuminated it, giving you the answer. He was your Savior.

Still in a state of stupor you put your hand to your neck and the feeling that you are in the present and in real life returns little by little, the wound starts to hurt, it hurts to swallow, it hurts to open and close your jaw. You leave the room holding your throat, looking for the trace of the man who had played the hero without knowing what you would do after having him in front of you.

"Zenin!" you shout, but your voice is barely more than a whisper and his huge body had crossed the hallway and turned right.

You move in his direction, you run shortening the distance and joining your destinies. You find him again a little closer to the gate, where to your surprise there were no guards guarding the entrance. The gigantic doors of the entrance to the Clan were wide open, unlike how you had imagined so many times in your dreams, savoring your escape, there was no wind, no noise, on the contrary. There was a silence in the scene that was almost uncomfortable, something different from how you had imagined the scene would be when escaping from your hell.

Toji's loud footsteps on the stones is all you can hear.

"Zenin!" you shout again, reminding your feet that they should keep moving forward.

Thanks to the quietness of the scene, Toji manages to hear you, turning to face you.

"Don't follow me," he warns. And you decide to ignore him completely, taking another unsure step forward as your body lurches slightly forward.

"You saved me." 

He scratches the back of his neck, indifferent to your words. "And I would have let you die there if I'd known you'd become a nuisance."

His cruel words provoke nothing in you, create no emotion in you. You don't stop, you don't stop looking at him as you feel the scar open up more each time you speak.

"But you didn't. Let me come with you." "That won't work. Go back inside." 

"Zenin, please."

Toji looked like an angel. The colors around him blended into a beautiful watercolor of whites and shades of green. Around him gave off a heavenly aura, it was the first time you could see his cursed energy and it was beautiful, a smile full of hope is drawn on your face.

"I go by Fushiguro now."

It's the last thing you hear, your fingers reach out to touch him but your hand is suspended in the air, held in time and it's all you remember before Toji turns his back on you and walks away from you and everything around you shatters. The bright lights go out, your knees falter and a cold annoying sweat settles on your palms and the back of your neck.

You can't see anything when your body hits the ground, everything is dark but you can feel it. The floor is neither warm nor safe, so Toji must have held you once more before you collapsed on the stones.

— / / / 

When you wake up it takes you a couple of extra minutes to open your eyes. Your whole body feels heavy like never before, you were used to physical labor but now it felt like you would collapse if you tried to stand up. The second thing you notice is that it is cold, but your body is warm so you drag your eyes until you notice the warm crimson red blanket tucking your body in a delicate way, it is at that moment that your eyes venture further to check where you are.

It was a room, you were in a bed that could hold at least two adults. With a soft blanket over you and a dim light coming from the left side. 

"You're awake." You are startled by the voice coming from the right, your heart flutters at the stranger whom it doesn't take you long to recognize. His appearance had now changed, he has his wet hair slicked back giving you a glimpse of his forehead. He had also changed his clothes, now wearing a black sweater that matches his pants of the same color. Toji is sitting on the edge of the bed staring at you, holding his jaw in a fist as his lips form an involuntary half pout. "You need to leave." Then he says, taking you by surprise.

Your mouth opens but only a whimper of pain comes out of it, your fingers search for your wound but you stumble over a bandage that you assume he had placed while you slept and suddenly you were very aware of it, of its texture against your skin and how tightly it squeezed your neck, so much so that it was hard for you to swallow.

You look at him with wide eyes and he clicks his tongue.

"You didn't lose much blood but I did what I could." You tilt your face in his direction, close your eyes briefly trying to ignore the pain. "Don't talk for now. You were sleeping all day but I need you to get out of here tomorrow, you'll be well enough in the morning."

Your eyes expand at the statement, you try to speak, create sentences, but your throat hurts and you have no choice but to be silent as you stir in the sheets and watch him stand up without you being able to interfere, stretching his back and arms until his muscles groan and thunder in a grunt of exhaustion vibrates his throat.

Ignoring your gaze that begs for him to stay a little longer, Toji leaves the room, turning on a night light next to the bedside table. Soon the floor is illuminated with a navy blue halo that runs along the bottom of the wall and you realize you are alone again as soon as you hear the door close with a soft knock. 

You are alone again. It's the thought that comes back into your head and rumbles against your skull. Of course this wasn't like when you were at the Zenin's house and were forced to sleep with other servants in a room smaller than this one, but even though the lighting gives you some peace of mind the darkness clings to your skin in a terrifying way. You are ten years old again when you believed there were monsters under your bed except this time you knew they were real but they were not fantasies, they were flesh and blood men who would probably be looking for you as they blamed you for slaughtering their men, even though they made sure you never had the strength to do it.

Suddenly it is all too much. The bandage on your neck seems to have hands and steals your oxygen squeezing against your throat, your lungs expand but don't bring air back with them and the light coming in from the street through the glass window gives way to shadows that form sinister figures on the wood of the floor. You bring your trembling fingers to your face and cover your eyes, your ears ringing from the blood that suddenly starts pumping your body uncontrollably, all this frenzy of panic drives you to push the blanket away from your body and makes you put your feet on the floor.

You're grateful to be on solid ground, to have something real under your feet. Crawling you flip the switch on and then fling open the door to face reality. 

Outside you become a little more familiar with the place you are in. Your eyes quickly scanning the place you realize you are in an apartment, one that carries the same vibes of the room you came from (a wooden floor covered in a rare carpet, walls with minimalist decor and by minimalist you mean non-existent), there is a murmur coming from somewhere so you lean your face forward letting yourself be guided by the muffled conversation.

Your path is lit by the dull light of a lamp that is not bright enough to illuminate the whole room, and not to mention the conversation going on somewhere in the apartment which doesn't seem to fit the scene, everything is so quiet that you can hear your own heart pumping, it doesn't seem like Toji left you behind just a couple of minutes ago, it seems as if he has disappeared, as if he has never been there and this was all a nightmare.

You walk cautiously around the apartment, taking an overview of something you could take to defend yourself in case you need it. Near the couch you find an empty beer bottle and grab it from the tip in the direction away from your body, as if it were a baseball bat.

You are afraid to call his name and there is someone else lurking among the darkness. Questions such as, did someone come in and hurt Toji and then come for you are formulated one after another in your head, creating a dozen scenarios in which you could die at the hand of a clan member tonight. 

Your ears guide you to a room in the background where you hear murmuring that is muffled by the noise of a television that as you step closer becomes clearer. Light escapes through a crack in a half-open door, you wet your lips before continuing and with your bare feet you push open the door, still holding the bottle and ready to strike.

"I can't have another person here!" 

"She’ll be gone in the morning!"

The pair of men who seemed to be carrying on an angry conversation fall silent at the groan of the door. Eyes fall on you and how ridiculous you must look with a bottle as a weapon that would be useless if they really wanted to attack you. One of them is Toji, you recognize him instantly. The other is wearing a brown suit and has a lit cigarette trapped between his fingers, the same build (maybe a little thinner) and height as Toji.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Toji scolds you wrinkling his nose, paying little attention to his friend who seems to be mentally choking him.

"Fear," you reply hoarsely.

Toji exchanges glances with the man and then turns back to you with a sigh. His footsteps go in your direction and you cling to the bottle raising it higher in a trembling grip, ready to throw it if necessary, however, Toji disarms you in a matter of seconds, your fingers remaining raised at his chest as you blink in humiliation.

In a second Toji takes your body and throws it over his shoulders along with a grunt as if it were a simple sack of potatoes, and walks with you all the way you had to walk towards him back to the room where he told you to stay.

He closes the door behind you with one foot and drops your body unkindly onto the mattress which bounces gently with your weight.

"Just tell me if you want to go out on the street tonight and I'll carry you myself and throw you out." You stare at him silently with deer eyes, your heart pounding with the same intensity as one and wishing you could be recovered so you could talk and explain to him everything that's going through your head. Faced with your state he sighs, brushing a couple of wild locks from his face, and sits back down where he was before, on the edge of the mattress. "Listen, kid, don't get us both kicked out. Just be good, okay?" 

You nod and realize his intentions as he is ready to leave as soon as he finishes speaking, but your hand comes forward and you stop him by clinging to his forearm.

"Stay," you beg. He shakes his head, turning away from your eyes. "Fear. Please."

There is desperation in your words, pain comes out of them followed by despair at not being able to speak as you normally would and advocate for your situation. Toji sighs resignedly and stands up to remove his shoes, then grabs the material of his sweater and pulls it off until his chest is exposed. Even with the little help from the light and battling the shadows you soak in his naked body, how worked his torso is and the few scars that the bluish hue of the lights reveal.

"Move aside," Toji says reluctantly and without complaint you do so, while burning with shame inside.

As soon as he settles in as best he can, you pull the covers back to cover you both. Toji holds his head with one hand and lets the other rest on his chest, you can't help but glance at him out of the corner of your eye.

"Man. Who?" you ask, seeking to hear him speak once more as Toji's voice brought you assurance.

"A friend." Toji responds dryly and reluctantly. You try to move closer to his warmth but he whines again, making the sound of a non-domestic animal. "No snuggling. Stay on your side." 

After a while where no one says anything else and where you can't fall asleep because if you do you are sure you will wake up there again, inside those four walls, you mumble a, "Thank you." To which Toji doesn't respond.

At some point you could no longer fight against the exhausting sleep or the heaviness of your muscles and ended up losing the battle of the watch. Light particles get trapped in your eyelashes which makes you blink rapidly welcoming a new day. The first thing you notice is how dry your throat is, the second is a pair of strong arms holding you prisoner, adrenaline shoots through your body before you can process what was happening.

Memories come flashing back to you. You remember what had happened a couple of hours ago and remember Toji telling you to stay on the side of the bed, which you did! Yet somehow your bodies end up entangled with each other, his arms holding you very close to him preventing you from escaping. His grip is strong, he encircles your waist and holds you close to his chest, one hand on your abdomen and the other near your collarbones and chest, his lower body is very close to you, so much so that as soon as you realize you can feel how hard he is a hot steam starts on your cheeks and spreads all over your face. 

You take a deep breath, then swallow saliva in a poor quest to hydrate your throat. Your fingers tap his arm near your neck.

"Zenin." You call out to him, something louder than a whisper, saying his name for some reason makes you feel warmer inside. "Toji?" you repeat his name and his face descends to your neck, his hot breath stumbles against your ear and a heavy sigh catches in your throat.

Toji lies there breathing, in a kind of trance that prevents him from waking up and his hand which was lying on your collarbone goes up to your neck where it takes hold of your throat and gently exerts pressure. You call his name again moaning from the pain, he grunts.

"What?" You never thought he could sound more morose than he already was, but apparently you were wrong. Morning Toji was a different being.

"No snuggling." You remind him with your eyes wide open, there was no way you could be asleep in the situation you were in. "You said." Your voice is still hurting, you sound hoarse. 

"I said you couldn't cuddle me," Toji protests, clinging tighter to your body. "I didn't say anything about me not being able to." As soon as he finishes speaking his face scrunches against the side of your throat and the strands of his hair tickle you, your shoulders shrug instinctively and he laughs as your abdomen tightens. "How did you sleep?" he asks, still with his face hidden. 

"Better." 

"Good." That's all he says before suddenly walking away from you. You don't move from your spot, your eyes fixed on the rocking chair in the corner that keeps a teddy bear on it, your heart beating a mile a minute as you listen to him wander into the room behind you. "I was serious when I said you had to go." He reminds you, which causes you to sit up in bed slowly creating a misshapen arch with your back.

"I have nowhere to go." Your voice sounds broken, but you can form longer sentences than yesterday without feeling like the wound is going to open at any moment.

Toji already knows and probably doesn't care, he took a lot of trouble getting you out of that prison so now you were on your own. But the idea of surviving on your own in a world you barely had any knowledge of is terrifying, all you've worried about for years is that the food wouldn't get cold before it reached the table and indulging the whims of each of the clan members.

An idea suddenly strikes you, a light bulb would appear above your head if it were in a cartoon. "I can cook," you say, just as Toji is walking in the direction of the exit.

"We don't need a maid."

His words hit you with a stark reality check. Being a servant is all you knew how to do, if you no longer had someone to serve, then what was your purpose?

The door opens and you dart out of bed straight to Toji's feet, your arms do a bear hug around one of his legs and you look up at him from below with messy hair and pleading eyes. 

"Please."

He groans, squeezing his eyes with his fingers, clearly frustrated with the situation, those same fingers cling to your forearms and help you to your feet. 

"I don't want to see you on your knees begging anyone ever again, you are free now." With that, he drags you out of the room and your feet can barely keep up with his strength, in the same hallway you walked down earlier you see the man in the same suit from last night eating something in the kitchen and waving at you, a greeting you would return if you weren't too busy.

Toji stops in front of a door and with an open palm pushes it open to reveal a bathroom.

"Wait here." He leaves you in the middle of the small bathroom, as you stare confusedly at the tiles. Toji soon returns with things in his hand which he pushes into your chest and you are forced to hold them so you don't drop them. "Get changed and take a shower, we don't have warm water." That's all he says to then turn his back on you and leave you to your fate.

At the edge of the bathtub there were only two things: a three-in-one shampoo with a white label and a mint essence liquid soap and after checking what you had in your hands you realized that they were Toji's things: A purple t-shirt with the name of some brand on the chest that you were sure you were going to outgrow and some dark shorts along with a pair of boxers of the same shade, this was way more than you would have gotten on your own (and it's not like you really love the uniform you're wearing) so you feel grateful because this was his way of showing you kindness.

The very cold water washed away the sweat and dirt from the previous disastrous day. You also took the opportunity to remove the bandage and wash your hair with the shampoo you had appropriated without permission. The wound in your throat had begun to heal since it was not so deep after all, but you had to be very careful not to hurt it since it still hurt when you moved too much. 

In the absence of a toothbrush you took two swigs of the mint mouthwash on top of the sink and walked out smelling like Toji which somehow filled you with tranquility. It doesn't take you long to find him, he was in the kitchen watching the news and spooning a spoonful of cereal into his mouth when he paused at the sight of you, a smile stretching his lips.

"You look weird." You didn't look weird. You looked like a female version of him but you decided to swallow the comment that would point this out and laugh softly instead. Toji pats the empty stool next to him which prompts you to move closer to him, a bowl of cereal was placed in front of the chair you now occupy of which you begin to eat from resting your eyes on the television and the grizzled gentleman reporting live on an accident that happened in the harbor.

All of this felt comforting but at the same time it was out of place. You? Eating cereal on a Sunday morning as if you were a normal young girl? You never had the chance to enjoy your teenage years or even have free time, you never knew what it was like to own a phone, go out to the park with friends, have a pet or even what it was like to have a crush on someone. All you have ever done is serve others, you dreamed of this day so much that one day you stopped wishing for it and accepted your destiny, you accepted that you would serve the Zenin clan until they didn't need you anymore, until your hair lost its color and they threw you out on the street.

But now you were here and you could go anywhere if you wanted to, although for some reason you were still there. And for some reason, Toji hadn't kicked you out.

Still in disbelief you stare at Toji, you see him chewing carelessly on his cereal while his eyes are fixed on the TV. His eyelashes are long, his lips thin and they were moist from the milk, dripping slightly, the scar moved every time he chewed. The features of his face were mature and indicative of how tired he is, dark circles under his eyes and a frown— all you saw was someone tired.

“What?" Toji wasn't looking at you, but of course he knew you were looking at him. You don't even stop to admire him the moment you answer him.

"What have you made of your life? Fushiguro? Is it official?"

"I got married, I had a son." Surprise is painted on your face, your eyelids twitch slowly but Toji doesn't give you time to speak. "She died some time later, I stuck to what I do best." His neck turns, leaving the gray-haired gentleman's voice as a way of softening what he will say next. "You want to know what I do for a living? I kill people… sorcerers." The last comes with intentions to scare you.

You don't move a muscle when he finishes his speech, on his face is drawn a macabre smile that tells you that you should be afraid of him but you are not.

"Your son?" you ask instead, spooning another spoonful of cereal into your mouth as you hold his gaze.

"He's fine." Toji replies simply, downplaying it, and you decide not to probe further for now, grateful that he's opened up a bit about his past with you.

Before you knew it you had finished eating, you had emptied your bowl almost completely, chewing and swallowing automatically.

Toji next to you leaves his stool to walk to the sink, undisguised you soak yourself in him cooling his face with the flow of water, running his wet hands through his hair and then with a towel that was nearby he dries his hands.

"I'm leaving."

"Work?"

"Yeah."

"Can I come with you?"

"Nope." You ignored him anyway and walked behind him. "Stop following me."

Still, you didn't. Because where else could you go? At least today would be the last day of your life where you could enjoy the present without worrying about what you have to do tomorrow.

Toji didn't do anything to stop you either, he let you down the stairs behind him and let you ride shotgun in an old blue car that was parked behind the building.

"This is your car?" your eyes examine the dashboard, your curious fingers didn't hold back from touching the radio and Toji tapped them gently getting your attention back to him.

"Don't touch." He was smiling, the scar was unbearably attractive. Your hands folded in your lap obediently. "Sometimes it is," he continued speaking, turning the steering wheel with one hand to take the corner.

For a couple of seconds all you hear on the radio is an annoying static noise, which from time to time quiets down to give way to a female voice that doesn't last long before it is shut off again by the annoying static.

The window pane is down and your face is outside the window, holding onto your own arms as the sun warms your face and the breeze ruffles your hair which is starting to dry. There are many people on the streets, some carrying ice cream in their hands and others walking their dogs which makes you smile once again as you contemplate every little detail in awe.

"Glass up and head in," complains Toji next to you. You move away from the window to examine him. 

"Will you ever stop being so grumpy?"

"Ugh?" Toji genuinely looks offended, raising an eyebrow as he exchanges glances with you and the road. You laugh.

"I don't think you know the word fun."

"And you do?" For that moment he looked at you longer than someone behind the wheel should.

"Aren't you ashamed that a maid knows how to have more fun than you?"

"I can't believe I'm seeing with my own eyes the life of the party. What were you doing, falling asleep at ten and playing with brooms?" you laugh against your will, your lips stretching until it hurts.

"Oh! So you do know how to make jokes."

"Shut up."

"Sir get your feet off the table, don't take your head out of the window, get out of my house."

"I would never say take your feet off the table because I don't care." 

“You don't clean?"

"Nah. That's Shiu's doing." So that was his name.

"That's why you need a maid," you tried to persuade him in a gentle tone.

"You're not going back to that house, kiddo. We'll only get in trouble," Toji warns earnestly as he drives around another of the city's numerous corners.

"Stop calling me that! I'm an adult, you know!" you protest, raising your voice.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Toji replies sarcastically as he parks under the shade of a leafy tree and you realize you were in front of a school. "I need you to do something for me."

 "What do you want?"

Outside the school, children were walking out hand in hand with their parents as a teacher enthusiastically waved them off. You turned to face Toji, who peered through your window. You raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"No," you reply firmly, crossing your arms and sinking them into the breadth of your T-shirt. 

"Huh?" Toji arches an eyebrow.

"Are you thinking of kidnapping a child?" you ask indignantly, full of question marks in your voice.

Toji burst out laughing, laughing at a joke that you didn't think was funny at all.

"What?" His eyes narrowed until they were barely visible, and dramatically, he wiped an imaginary tear from one of his eyes. "No. Do you see the boy over there?" he pointed a long finger out into the street, and you followed his gaze.

"The one in the green T-shirt?" you asked, watching a chubby blond boy picking his nose.

"The one next to him," Toji corrected, pointing to another boy who was looking at the blond boy with a frown, clutching his backpack. You turned your neck to Toji. .

"The grumpy one?" you asked. "Your son?" You don't need his confirmation when he falls silent at the accusation. 

"Just go closer and make sure he’s okay," the man turned away from your curious gaze, and his hands tightened on the steering wheel, concentrating on the brown leaf-covered road.

"Okay?" you insisted.

"No bruises or anything like that," Toji mumbled through his teeth, downplaying it with a wave of his hand. However, you noticed a genuine concern in his words.

You looked again at the boy, who was still glaring in disgust at the others. The task you had been given made your heart beat fast.

"I'm sure he's fine," you say, still watching him.

"You wanted to come, so go. The car ride is not free, kid," Toji comments. 

"Stop calling me that. I have a name," you demand, your jaw tense and your teeth clenched, wanting him to look at you with the same admiration and respect with which you looked at him.

"I will if you go," Toji says, staring at you.

If this was your way of saying thank you for what he had done for you so far, then so be it. Your bottom lip quivered and his blue gaze intimidated you. After all, a deal's a deal. You got out of the car carefully, checking both sides of the street before crossing and starting to walk towards the school. Before you took another step, a man approached the boy, seeming to know him by the familiarity with which they treated each other. He was a man about your own age, tall and with white hair.

Reluctantly, he took the boy's hand and led him in the opposite direction of the school. You trotted back toward the car.

"Who was that?" you questioned Toji before even closing the door. 

"A friend," Toji replied laconically as he started the car again.

"So he's in good hands. If you're friends, why didn't you approach him?" 

"Hmm," Toji muttered, dodging. "Lots of questions."

"Why don't you approach him?" you insisted once again.

Toji sighed before replying sincerely, "This is my way of taking care of him." Despite your initial misgivings, you gradually felt content with his explanation, crossing your arms in momentary acceptance.

The day progressed, and Toji drove you to a nearby pier. He left you in the car while he walked away to ask some questions of some people in the area. From the window, you watched the reflection of the sun on the water and in it the blurry image of Toji grabbing the man in the boat by the shirt threatening to throw him into the sea. You shivered in your seat, focusing your whole body and senses in the direction of the fight but you didn't dare get out because you didn't want to disobey him (besides there wasn't much you could do). It was some time before Toji returned to the car, with a frown on his face and an expression that told you he hadn't gotten clear answers but told you he wasn't going to answer any of the questions you never asked.

Finally, Toji took you to a cozy ramen restaurant. You ate together in a quiet corner of the place, sharing in bits and pieces stories of his work and your memories of when you were a slave. As the evening progressed, the initial tension between you began to dissipate. You realized that, despite his rough exterior, Toji had a kind and protective side in his own way.

After a long day together, you returned home, the sun had set and the city lights were beginning to glow. Although more questions than answers had arisen, you were beginning to feel closer to Toji and the world around him.

— / / / 

"You're very quiet," Toji says after closing the apartment door behind you. He continues on his way without stopping to really check, straight to the switch where it allows the light bulb to chase away the gloomy shadows which you appreciate. "And I don't know if I like that or it scares me," he adds.

Toji is looking at you now at a safe distance for you because your thoughts became a mess when you had him close. A sudden chill fills you with shivers and you bring your hands up to your forearms to hug yourself, apparently you had forgotten to close a window.

"I've made a decision but I know you're going to laugh."

Toji licks his lips, the tip of his tongue brushing the scar erasing the birth of a smile, you look at him with raised eyebrows and unable to contain himself he lets out a snort followed by his hands raised to chest height in a sign of peace and surrender.

"Stop it," you ask.

"Please speak up," Toji encourages you, crossing his arms.

"I want you to train me." You pause, seeing no response from him you continue speaking with your throat strangely dry. "I want to learn from you and I want to kill the ringleaders of the Zenin clan.”

"You want revenge?" To your surprise his countenance was serious, with some muscle in his jaw clenched.

"Yes."

"Then I can't help you. Revenge is the worst emotion you can cling to in order to go on living."

You blink a couple of times in his direction, perplexed that as soon as he finished speaking he turned around and headed down the hallway to continue on his journey to wherever he was headed, your mouth opens and closes a couple of times until you perk up and take a step forward.

"What?!" you shout, confused.

"There is no point in seeking revenge."

Toji speaks without stopping walking, without raising his voice, moving to the direction where your room was. You chase after him with a vein throbbing in the sides of your head, you were so full of rage accumulated over so many years that your thoughts were clouded.

"You're going to give me moral lessons?”

"Listen." He turns, pointing an accusing finger at you and you force your feet to stop so fast you nearly collide with it. "I've lived under the shadow of revenge every day, it's one of the reasons I get up every morning and it's an emotion that consumes you, you don't want that for yourself."

"You don't know me. You can't know what I want," you point out.

"It doesn't take knowing you to read you like the back of my hand. You couldn't bear to kill a fly."

You clench your jaw hard until your teeth grind from the pressure, your back is tense and erect as if someone was pulling it up. You take a step forward and Toji seems to give you the same importance he would give a mosquito, he turns his back on you again and walks into your room.

He didn't know you, he had no idea what you were capable of doing, you had the ability to kill someone, you were sure of that.

You follow him through the door frame. With the little blue light bathing the place, you notice Toji with a naked torso, the black t-shirt was lying on the floor at his feet, you had caught him halfway through his fingers grabbing the loop of his pants to undo it and let it fall.

You gasp, covering your lips with one hand and your mouth fills with saliva. "What are you doing?" His skin looked smooth, marred by a scar near his left pec and another near the V that was blatantly marked above his pelvis, where a happy trail also began. "Get out of my room," you stammer, forcing yourself to focus on his eyes.

"This is my room." You lower your hand from your face slowly, at the revelation you can't help but take a wide look at the place, then up and down Toji. "And if you don't want to see me naked, I'd advise you to leave."

"We're not done talking."

"Yeah, we are," he replies. "I'm going to take a shower." Now you're the one crossing your arms.

"Train me," you demand. 

"I won't."

Before you can speak again he is pulling down his pants, your body as automatically turns away from him, fleeing from the flash of bare skin.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Ow come on, sweetheart. It's just a little skin. This just proves you're not ready for my training."

"How does seeing you naked have anything to do with training me!" He was crazy. Insane. Unhinged. And you worried that instead of pushing you away it would push you more into him.

"If you can't see a fucking dick, how are you going to have the stomach to cut someone's head off?"

You don't remember the last time you had felt so embarrassed. You were trembling but you had to show Toji how important this was to you, so against all odds you turned to see him. Your eyes went to his dick —which hung heavy and thick under the bush of hair above his pelvis— drawn by a magnetism stronger than your willpower, you swallowed your embarrassment and looked him in the face, your pussy wetting in the vastness of his shorts. Toji had a half smile on his face and you weren't sure if it was your nerves or the sudden dizziness, but you could see a pale shade of red on his cheeks.

"Fushiguro, please." Your fists were clenched as a way of keeping you bound to this present moment, your nails digging red-hot into your flesh forcing you not to wander back into the middle of her thighs.

"Let me take a shower," he sighs, chewing on a chuckle. "I'll be back soon and we can talk."

Toji moves away from your point of view and you don't move a muscle until you hear him close the bathroom door. You run to open a window, sticking your head out until the wind cools the heat from your cheeks. You pat your face gently with trembling fingers, then scrunch your eyes and sink your face into the palms of your hands and for a long minute you sigh at the scent of liquid soap, the shampoo in your hair and the smell of food that clung to your shirt thanks to the ramen restaurant.

Underneath the baggy T-shirt your nipples are hard, aching every time they brush against the thick fabric begging for some kind of release.

There was a lot of traffic on the street, every now and then you could hear the horn of a vehicle in the distance. You linger in the safety that space afforded you until Toji's voice shocks you by calling your name from behind, followed by an apology if his behavior earlier had made you uncomfortable but he needed to make a point.

You turn on your heels to look at him. Toji has a white towel wrapped around his hips, his chest as well as his hair are soaked with hundreds of water droplets that you would like to lick (you cross out that thought immediately), he runs his hand through his jet hair and you forget how to breathe, the room that starts to give off an unbearable heat closes in on you.

"I hear you, you needed to prove a point and that's okay." You lick your lips.

Toji starts wandering in the room, opens the closet and takes out some pajama pants.

"Shiu would have to be convinced that you can do the job." Your eyebrows raise to the sky slightly but you don't say anything. "And have him take you into his apartment until you can be somewhere else safe," Toji says, slipping into his pants still wearing the towel.

Wonderful, he had no boxers underneath. Which made his penis stand out shamelessly when he removed the towel altogether, the garment falling dangerously below his sharp hip bones.

"I can do the job." You force yourself to keep the thread of conversation going, scratching a nonexistent itch on your forehead.

"Good." Toji leaves the room with the towel in his hand, so you think he probably went to put it in the bathroom and you take the opportunity to let your legs rest from shaking and sit on the bed. "But you are free to leave at any time. I'm not going to force you to be here, Shiu either," Toji shouts from the hallway and as he speaks his voice gets closer until he materializes in the doorway.

"Thank you." That's all you can say at this point as he looks down on you. Toji makes a sound with his tongue and points to the hallway with his head.

"Do you want something to eat? We have cereal and..." he pauses, trying to remember more food list and a smile appears on your lips.

"I'm fine," you gently confess to him.

"We can order ramen or Chinese food. I'm starving, I think Shiu left his wallet." 

"I'm fine, Toji. Thank you," you repeat, still maintaining your smile.

Toji nods and leaves the room. You can breathe again, your chest feels squeezed by an invisible weight and you open and close your hand to make the sudden cramp go away.

You walk over to the window to take a last breath of the night air, the damp wind, the smell of smoke and the smell of freedom. Your lungs expand with the scent of street dirt.

You were free to go anywhere, to run away, to escape, to keep running, yet you decided to go back to Toji's bed. You lay your head on a pillow while hugging another to cheat the ghost of loneliness and pretend you were really with someone so it makes you feel safe— although you don't know how long it takes, but after trying to fall asleep watching the figures forming the light from the window on the floor mixed with the noise of the TV in the distance you realize you can't fall asleep, too scared and anxious to do so (if your savior wasn't around). 

So you pull the warm sheet away from your body and leave the room in the direction of where the noise from the television was coming from, where you now realize that it is a baseball game.

"Hey," Toji greets as he notices you approaching him. He contemplates your figure silently as he watches you drop your weight beside him, wearing nothing but his big old t-shirt, your thighs were in full view. "Can't sleep?" Toji was watching you out of the corner of his eye, you shake your head.

"You?" you ask, watching the game.

"I was thinking of sleeping on the couch."

"No," you whine. "It's your room, it's your bed, we can share it."

Toji snorts. "You know how I sleep, I almost strangled you this morning."

"That’s not true." You tear your eyes away from the television to focus on him, blue and green lights dance across his features, across his cheekbones and sharp jaw. For a second your gazes stumble and he focuses on your lips for the duration of a blink. "I mean you did but I don't mind." You chuckle at a bad joke, Toji makes the attempt at a laugh. "You'd be doing me a favor anyway."

"Don't say that, kid— [Name]," he corrects himself at once, turning his focus back to the game, you pat his bare shoulder in a sign of 'congratulations'. "You still have a lot to live for, there's a lot you haven't seen or known yet. Even I don't want to die."

"Don't say it like that," you scold him with a frown, still looking at him... admiring him. "You have a lot to live for, too."

"Nah."

"Stop it. You have your son."

"He hates me, [Name]," he says with a tone of bitterness, you stay quiet for a moment, soaking in the noise of the match narrator, fumbling what to say. You hadn't comforted anyone before, not even your fellow maidservants, you didn't know exactly what to do or what to say so you loosened your tongue.

"I don't think he hates you, Toji." You said his name with such compassion, his jaw tensed focusing his vision to the ground. "Even if he hates you, you're alive, you have a chance to make things right, to change, to be better."

Toji looks at you, rather looks at your mouth, not wanting to pretend this time. "I don't want to change."

"I don't believe you." He looks into your eyes and you hold his gaze, one of your hands going up to his face and cradling his jaw. After a few seconds you feel the weight of his bones in your hand, indicating to you that he had dropped into it. "You know why I don't believe you?" your thumb goes to his lip and Toji parts them for you, the hardness of your hand meets his scar above his mouth and he flinches, pulling back a little. "Because you got this by protecting me."

Toji takes your hand between his fingers and slowly lowers your hand to his lap, for a while he stands still and you can't figure out what it is you see in his eyes because no one has ever looked at you like that before.

"I'm sure there are good things in you." Toji can feel the pulse in your wrist, he could even swear he can hear your heart. Pumping and beating, rumbling in your ribs.

"Stop," Toji begs, unable to look at you.

Enveloped in the frenzy that engulfs you, you let go and take his face in your hand again and Toji drops into it like a puppy in need of attention. His face looks beautiful under the lights on the television, those pretty blue eyes covered in a heavy layer of glitter. They were the same eyes that looked down on you from upstairs in the hallway when he helped you to your feet after his cousin abused you, eyes full of compassion.

"Have you ever left the country?" The question rolls off your tongue.

That look full of longing changes for a second to one of confusion, anyway he answers. "No."

"Have you ever seen a live band?" 

"W- no," he chuckles.

"How long has it been since you've been to the sea?" This time he doesn't speak, you continue. "You still have many things to see, to live, don't take away the value of your life."

Toji gazes at you, closes his eyes for a moment trying to calm his inner storm but when he opens them again, long, heavy eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings— you were still here. He feels the warmth of your hand against his still in his lap, feels the firm touch of your palm on his cheek, his lungs filling with his fragrance permeating you. It was not a dream.

Toji leans forward and you don't move a muscle even though he sees something tighten in your neck and your breathing stops for just an instant.

"Please, stop me." He thinks he says to himself but his words actually reach the surface, fly to your ears in a whisper.

Toji holds you in the same way you hold him, his fingers, bigger than yours and any other maid you've ever known caresses your cheek in the same way a butterfly would kiss a flower. And this simple fact is enough to make your stomach flare, your eyelids give way to nerves and you swallow a breath.

"Please..." Toji begs again in a breath, but this time his lips are on yours, not touching you directly but just enough to let you feel his warm exhale. You could taste the milk on his lips from the cereal he had eaten and this made you lick your lips, wandering if you could discover the taste of milk on his tongue as well. "I thought you had died."

"You rescued me. That memory kept me alive."

At your confession Toji finally cuts the distance and presses his lips to yours. Just a brush, something too fast to be considered a kiss, so in search of more you pounce on him.

Your grip leaves his neck to hug the back of his neck and pull him further into you. As the baseball game is interrupted by commercials behind your back, Toji squeezes your thighs and drags you over his lap stealing a groan of surprise.

His kisses are no longer on your mouth, they go in search of your jaw and the jugular vein in your neck. Toji feels it throbbing fast against his mouth, he bites down, you moan, and he swipes his thick, hot tongue across the area soothing the burning.

"Please, stop me." You hear the request for the third time. The prayer is needy and hungry.

"I'm not going to stop you."

Toji suddenly interrupts his actions to look at you. His hands are shakily tangled inside your/his shirt.

"I can't love you." He lies, as a last resort to get you to stay away from him. You are too precious for someone like him, being around him would only ruin you.

"I don’t care," —you interrupt the intrusive train of thought in your head— “I have love enough for both of us."

If revenge was the worst emotion you can cling to in order to go on living, then you would cling to the love and admiration you feel for him.

Although you can't deny that it hurt to hear him say that, it hurt more to respond to him, it hurt when his fingers pulled hard on your nipples kneading your breasts roughly and it hurt when his teeth dug into your lip and forced his tongue into your mouth (and you were right, he tasted like milk and honey). It took courage to swallow your emotions and not run away to your/his room but you understood, you understood when he tugged off your shirt and took one of your nipples into his mouth.

You understood that both Toji and you needed this. No matter how long it took him to forget his wife, you were going to be by his side with him, as a friend, as a lover....

"Ah, ngh!"

Or as his murderous partner.

Because that's what you deserve. Finally make your own decisions, screw it up, damage it or start over.

But you were free to choose and now you chose to watch Toji from above suck on your nipples like a hungry man while your hips as with life could rub against the growing erection. His hands squeezed your breasts as he licked one to return with the other and do the same pattern while you could do nothing but gasp with parted lips.

"Fuck," he cursed, harshly carving a hard nipple with his flat tongue. 

"More," you implored.

So Toji left your tits alone for a while, licking his lips with the same punishing tongue to wipe away the trace of saliva that had been left behind. Then he slipped a hand inside the boxers and his fingers met the puddle that was your pussy.

"Oh my… [Name]."

You wanted to run away, but instead you moved your hips and the friction of three fingers on your clitoris made you moan, made you repeat the action.

"I'm sorry." The apology came out of your mouth before you could understand what you were apologizing for.

It was like when you dropped a dish, when you were late in returning a weapon, when your clothes were not spotless. They were the words your mouth was most familiar with.

"Why?" Toji questions you, forcing you to speak despite your condition. 

Condition: three of his fingers oscillating in circles over your over-stimulated clit.

"I asked.. why are you apologizing." With every word his fingers tap your sticky pussy, his words hot on top of your throbbing temple.

You swallow dryly. "I'm sorry," you repeat.

"Stop apologizing," Toji growls, moving to your ear, gently biting the gristle. "Are you a virgin?" The question feels like a concern, not for him but for you, it sounded like Toji needed to know whether or not you'd had sex before to know how to proceed.

"No." You reply dryly.

'No, I had sex with a member of the Zenin clan once, twice who turned out to be an asshole’ — is the answer you cut off halfway, perhaps an explanation you would —or would not— give Toji later when his fingers weren't pushing inside you.

Thanks to your lubricated pussy one finger was able to enter without difficulty, then another until you felt so full inside that you clung to Toji's shoulders for stability, hugging your body to his body as he waits for you to adjust to the size.

"Are you okay?" he asks, depositing small kisses on your shoulder. 

"Hm hm!" you respond positively with your lip between your teeth.

Then his fingers push in and you groan, then out and soon you miss them and again that word Toji could get used to hearing all night comes from your lips.

"More." And he laughs, wrapped in the pleasure he gets from giving you pleasure.

Toji starts a specific rhythm, fucking you open with his big fingers as his fat thumb entertains your clit and his own cock throbs in the confines of his pajama pants, staining the fabric in a matter of seconds. You feel it resting heavy on his thigh, the thickness and size making you scratch his back wishing you had the courage to do something about it, that you had the courage to pull it out and do something else, yet you don't find the courage, it hides deep inside you as Toji pumps your pussy, in and out and faster and faster in rhythm with his moans. You are sure that if the TV were off the sticky sounds would be filling your ears in a way too embarrassing to process.

In that same rhythm Toji makes you have your first orgasm, it tears you apart and leaves you dizzy sinking your teeth into his flesh after he told you it was okay, that you could drown your screams on his shoulder, so you did, so much so that you are sure it will leave a mark. You think about apologizing but your brain mimics his raspy voice asking you not to apologize again.

For a moment you think you're going to pass out, your whole body is sore especially your thighs but it's a pain, satisfying? You wouldn't know exactly what words to put it in. You mumble his name a hundred times and he pulls you by your collar to have you facing him, your hair is tousled, your gaze confused and your lips slightly red, his cock is throbbing and in that moment he promises something to himself: he needs to make you cum again.

Above the noise of the sloppy kiss in which Toji grabs you and the narrator of the game shouting excitedly for a home run Toji hears keys in the door. Shiu, he concludes. So he grabs you by the thighs and walks with you to the room you share, no matter how much you complain about your weight or scream that you're going to fall. He doesn't release you from his grip until he throws you onto the mattress and he locks the door.

Toji takes a moment to admire your half naked body, his fingers are still soaked with you and he brings them to his mouth covering them with his drool as he walks towards you.

"There are so many things I want to show you," he says, crawling on the bed. "So many things I want to do to you." His scar rises along with the half-smile. His fingers hook into the elastic of your boxers and you moan as you stand completely naked in front of him, under the blue lights and moonlight.

You open your lips to complain but Toji places a finger over his: 'Shh' he makes a sound, then touches his ear, indicating you to pay attention to the footsteps outside which makes you keep quiet again.

Toji pounces on you, caging your body under his. Without breaking the connection of your lips together with one hand he helps your legs spread, one knee far apart from the other and he improves his position in the center. His covered cock is above your core, throbbing and begging for real attention, your fingers slide to the nape of his neck.

"Toji," you breathe. You don't remember the last time you had done so. 

However, "Sh." He shushes you again by sucking the salty skin on your neck.

Each time his hips rotated over you you had to roll your eyes, so overwhelmed with pleasure. Toji then slides his fingers through your navel and reaches your sensitive clit again, the touch is as soft as a feather and at the same time he unloads on you static that fills you with shivers.

Toji wonders if he could make you cum like this, him rubbing shamelessly over your folds while at the same time stimulating your most sensitive spot. His fingers go faster and your back arches, trying to run away from the pleasure, from how raw his rough touch feels on your vulnerable flesh.

Your fingers tangle around his wrist and between dry-mouthed stutters you ask him to stop for a while. And he does so reluctantly, kissing your sweaty temple and dropping his heavy body next to you with a creak of the mattress, his chest rising and falling and the sound of the city making itself present again.

Adrenaline begins to leave your bloodstream bringing with it guilt and shame, you wonder what Toji who hasn't said another word in the last five minutes is thinking so you turn to your side to get a better look at him. He has his eyes wide open, focused somewhere on the ceiling as he sucks in his own lower lip, you move your eyes over every inch of his body until you are on his hips and the obvious bulge between his thighs, after a while of watching you realize you can see it trembling.

"Does it hurt?" you ask him after licking the sweat off your upper lip. Toji seems to have been forcibly brought out of his trance.

"What thing?" He asks, looking at you.

"Your... hmph, your penis."

He laughs, "Yeah," he replies quietly. 

"I want to make you feel good."

Toji turns his head to soak you in, his eyes going to every corner of your face, then to your breasts for a moment.

"You don't have to," he speaks hoarsely, turning to your eyes.

Wordlessly, you reach down to his crotch, your fingers mimic a playful spider dancing over his navel and tangling in the trail of short hairs but Toji stops you, the grip is insecure and you stare at each other for what feels like a heavy eternity but finally he gives you the freedom to continue exploring while at the same time exhaling through his nose just like a raging bull.

You touch him through his pants and the muscles in his legs tighten, he pushes his hips up in an animal instinct to reach for more. You size it up and rub it as you watch him grow amidst the darkness, finally you get up the courage to reach into his pants and Toji helps you by pulling it down just enough so it doesn't bother you.

Half naked under your nose you breathe in the raw scent of sex that collects in a cloud-like form in the room. Toji is so hard and you take him between a weak fist, somewhat unsure, as if it’s going to bite you. Inexperienced you give a downward tug and Toji throws his head back with a curse and a choked grunt.

"More. Squeeze your hand just a little tighter," Toji says, encouraging himself to raise his head again to look at you giving him pleasure.

"Like this?"

"Yeah. The tip, just... God— fuck the tip with your hand, I'm so sensitive."

It takes you little time to learn what he likes, you learn quickly and he is pleased. Toji asks you to cradle his balls and you do so obediently, then spit on the shaft as he commands, saliva runs down the swollen pink head and slides easily to reach his full balls. Toji hunches his back and turns sideways to pay attention to you— now in front of him you had nowhere to escape.

Toji breathes on your open mouth, his fingers squeeze your ass, caress your thighs longingly and end up on your pussy, pressing on the soaked folds. For a while he stays still, just feeling your clit throbbing, it's as if he was waiting for you to stop him again, he wanted to be sure. He tentatively slips a finger in the middle of your labia and you mewl.

"You're so wet," he admits with bated breath as you continue to masturbate him. "I wanna fuck you so bad," he says, biting your lip and you close your eyes, a little dizzy now that your clit was being stimulated again. "My whole body needs it, I need to put my heavy cock in that pretty pussy of yours, [Name]. I want to— fuck me. I want to slap it with my cock, I'm sure I could make you cum with just that."

"Toji!" you scream the instant two fingers go inside you without warning, quickly assaulting your pussy, pumping it in and out. "F-fuck me, do it."

"What was that?" with a sinister smile breaking the darkness along with his scar, he longed to hear you speak again.

"Please." You respond assigned, your stomach clenching.

"Next time, baby." He deposits a fleeting kiss on your lips. "When I get condoms I'm gonna pound that pussy so good that all you're gonna remember is my name. Now..., fucking cum for me."

You couldn't breathe or respond because his mouth was on yours, stealing your breath and what little strength your limbs had left. Your whole body ached, you felt so full with those two fingers plus thumb rubbing your clit back and forth, your fist squeezes just a little on the head of his cock, your thumb slides over the cleft of the cockhead and Toji growls on your tongue, you swallow the vibrations and squeeze your eyes tightly shut letting yourself sink into the liquid stream that tucks your body, for a second you stop breathing but you open your eyes suddenly screaming his name and he shushes you again kissing you deeply, soon after Toji cums in your fist and on his own stomach, drops of cum fall on the mattress and Toji moves away to find a t-shirt of his to clean it and help you clean yourself.

"Come here," he says, but he doesn't really give you a choice because his arms were wrapped around your body, dragging you on top of him.

You sigh. Your face was crushed into his chest, his big hand playing with your hair. You didn't know what to say, you could hear his heart beating as fast as yours, you were tired and sore but never before had you felt happier than at this moment.

"Rest up, tomorrow will be your first day of training." Toji kisses the crown of your head and that's all you hear before you sink into a thick froth of dreams, where all you can appreciate is Toji's warm, naked body against yours and the soft sheets beneath your bodies.

[0097linersb]

DESPERADO

Pairings: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Idk tbh kind of drama kind of angsty probs smut

Summary: Sitting in an old Monte Carlo.

A/N: GUYS gUESS WHAT!! I wrote this when I was like 17, over 7 years ago lol but I found it on my old computer and I kind of like it for some reason???? BUT THIS IS SUCH A CLICHE OMG A MAFIA AU SHOWSTOPPING NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!! Alsoo this will be really short, 3-4 chaps max

Chapter 1

You could feel all eyes on you, burning holes into your skin as you entered the Diner. The whole room suddenly went quiet as soon as you closed the glass door behind you – But that could also be an illusion caused by the loud thumping deep in your ears. 

You force yourself to walk to the farthest booth available, praying your wobbly legs would not fail you like you felt they would, trying to ignore the whispers from the workers; It was kind of indecorous, but you could understand it given the situation. A young woman, in her pretty pink uniform, carefully approached your table. She looked kind, even worried maybe. 

“Can I get you something?” She nervously asked and you felt thankful she did not ask you any personal questions. 

“A chocolate milkshake, please.” 

Your voice was trembling and barely there but the waitress excused herself as you went back to ripping a napkin into dozens of small pieces, unable to get your hands to stop fidgeting. You probably wouldn’t be able to hold anything down in your stomach but you just needed to try and get your mind to stop screaming for a few minutes. The sun was setting and the darkness taking over the sky made you even more anxious, letting you know they already had enough time to realize what was going on. Every car that passed outside made you nervously look up and slide even further down your seat like it would help you hide. You should have changed, you would attract less attention then - At the same time, it’s not like you had an option, really. 

You jumped when the waitress, Moira said her nametag, placed the brown drink in front of you. You felt like throwing up at the sight but slowly forced yourself to swallow the cold liquid, despite your body’s complaints. It was a small town, not far enough, news of your whereabouts wouldn’t take long to reach their ears. You had to go somewhere, soon. 

 You didn’t have enough money for a ticket out of state - You barely had enough money to pay for the milkshake you ordered. The car you had stollen didn’t have enough gas to take you anywhere and even if it did, you didn’t have the ability to drive it any farther than you had already struggled to do. You hands shaked as you cursed yourself for not thinking things through. 

You wondered about your mother; she was most likely crying. 

No, she was definitely crying. You would be too in her place. If the adrenaline wasn’t rushing through your body to keep you alert, you would probably be in tears right now. It was not like you to cry, but you could find an excuse for yourself considering you were facing a life or death (mainly death) situation. You just hoped they had enough consideration for you to give you a simple death, enough for your mom to be able to look at your lifeless body without screaming in panic - Something about knowing you were minutes away from a gun barrel pointed at your head brought out the cliché poet in you. 

“You should follow the road up north; it doesn’t have a pretty scenery but it’s by far the fastest way to get to the Interstate,” Moira’s conversation with a man three booths down from yours suddenly caught your attention, ears perking up. 

“Is there a hotel close by?” The owner of the deep voice asked. 

“There’s only one downtown, we don’t get many tourists around here. There are also some motels around two cities up.” 

“Perfect, thank you.” 

Your eyes widened when the stranger stood up, you didn’t have much time to think. You hurriedly went through your bag, trying to find some coins to leave in the table beside your half-finished drink before running out of the door as fast as you could, tripping more than once over your long dress as you crossed the parking lot after what seemed to be your last hope. 

“Wait!” You screamed at the man opening the door of his car. 

He stared at you in surprise and you tried to catch your breath, managing to let out a tangled “Take me with you.” 

“Excuse me?” His eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t look very pleased to be interrupted. 

“Please. I need to get out of state,” You pleaded. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t get caught in a runaway bride’s drama at the moment,” The stranger apologized with a dismissive nod of his head before resuming the motion to enter his car. 

“Wait. I have a car, an expensive one. You can have it!” 

“I already have a car, as you can see. Good luck, though.” 

“Please,” Your voice breaks as you beg, volume barely above a whisper. That man was all you had. “They are going to kill me.” 

The tall male in front of you examined you from bottom to top in silence and you felt yourself cowering under his tense jaw, which was ironic considering the people you were used to being around. It was when you felt tears starting to sting your eyes that the man took a deep annoyed breath and ended with a cold, “Get in.” 

“Thank you so much,” You finally let out all the air you were holding, hurrying to the passenger seat before he could change his mind. 

You were silent as the man started the car and drove out of the Diner’s parking lot, his harsh gaze showing you he didn’t want to be bothered. You closed your eyes and tried to regulate your breathing, repeating to yourself it was all going to be fine; they wouldn’t be able to catch you if you kept moving. When you felt your heart rate slowing down, you finally let your eyelids fly open, watching the white skirt of your dress (which was now black from dirt) in disgust. It was a beautiful dress, big and flamboyant, you were sure it cost a lot of money – You just wished you were someone who wanted to wear it. 

You realized you still had the veil positioned carefully on your hair, although it was probably crooked and ripped by now. You harshly untangled the pins from your strands and rolled the window down, throwing the white fabric out on the road before closing the glass again. The man next to you watched in amusement but still didn’t say a word. You wished you could sleep, something you haven’t done in weeks – But you didn’t think you would be able to for a while. Your quick naps out of exhaustion were getting you through the days. Barely. 

At least the sky was pretty, a dark purple with little shiny dots all over. The moon was nowhere to be found, maybe it was ashamed of you too. 

“Ugly fiancé?” The man’s voice surprised you. It was clear he was trying to humor you, but his expression didn’t match his tone. 

“I wish,” You sighed, leaning your head back in the seat and forcing your voice to work. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

“Jaehyun.” 

“Nice to meet you, Jaehyun. Please don’t be a serial killer.” 

“It seems like that would be the least of your problems.” 

“I guess you’re right,” You smiled, but it did not reach your eyes. You took another deep breath before asking, “What are you running away from?” 

“Who says I’m running from something?” 

“Why would you ask what’s the fastest way out of town if you weren’t?” 

“Maybe I don’t like traffic.” 

“Traffic in this area? I’m desperate but I’m not stupid. Did you actually kill someone? I was only joking -” 

“My personal business concerns you as much as yours concerns me.” 

“I’m not frugal with my secrets.” 

“Entertain me then.” 

“It’s barely as fascinating as it seems: My family’s business had me entangled with some dangerous people who forced me into a commitment I was not interested in partaking in, none of the parties will be very happy with my little rebellious act.” 

“Are you really putting your life at risk just to not be part of society’s patriarchal plot?” 

“This is hardly about that, although I wouldn’t expect you to understand, as a man. Plus, my life would be at stake anyways; At least like this, I can worry from a distant beautiful beach, with a sweet cold drink in hand, instead of being fucked by a man who wouldn’t mind killing me one bit. I was thinking about Mexico.” 

“If they are anywhere as powerful as you describe, it would not be hard to find you there.” 

“Right. Maybe Brazil then, who knows?” You shrugged, knowing these were all insane dreams you were probably never going to be able to experience. It was fun to amuse yourself. “What about you, where are you going?” 

“Far.” 

“So mysterious,” You roll your eyes. “It’s not like I can afford going out babbling about your plans.” 

“I’d rather not give you the chance.” 

“Suit yourself. Thank you once again for the ride.” 

Jaehyun only nodded. 

As you watched the cities pass in silence, you noticed your throat was very dry, but you imagined you must be arriving at your destination if the man next to you was following Moira’s tips. It was already late and your whole body ached, the adrenaline’s effect fading bit by bit as you tried to fool yourself that you were safe. 

“Why are you helping me, knowing I’m involved with dangerous people?” You wondered. Truthfully, you knew it was a stupid question since you were the one begging for his help, you just wanted to hear him talk more, his deep voice made your vision stop spinning for a few seconds. 

“I can fight,” He shrugged. Again with the toneless jokes. 

“I don’t think fists would be very useful against the Kim family,” You chuckle at the absurdity, you probably had all local thugs looking for you as you spoke.  

Who would have thought this is how your life would turn out? 

“Who said I don’t have guns?” He smirked at you for the first time, and you just stared at him, an unreadable look on your face that made him slightly nervous. “Don’t act surprised, you’re the one who entered a stranger’s car.” 

“I’m not. I was about to marry Kim Doyoung, weapons don’t shock me,” You sigh, hiding the fact you had a handgun (which you had stolen from your fiancé's collection) in your purse - Maybe you would need it, Jaehyun could turn out to be, in fact, a serial killer after all. 

“Kim Doyoung, huh? You really got yourself in a big mess. His father isn’t someone to play with.” 

“Do you know him?” 

“I met him briefly for a business transaction a few years back.” 

“Your line of work just keeps sounding shadier and shadier, should I be worried?” 

“You tell me, you’re the mafia’s doll.” 

“You’re really thinking about handing me over and asking for a reward, aren’t you?” You squeezed your eyes at the man. 

“Maybe,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone but you knew he wasn’t being serious, as you were indeed, heading North. Regardless, growing up with your family taught you to never trust anyone. 

You caught yourself pitying your mother once again when Jaehyun slowed his car into a Motel’s parking lot with a simple “We’re here.” 

You languidly nodded and got out of the vehicle, stretching your sore limbs before staring at the man in front of you in expectation. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” He shook his head and opened the trunk of the car to get his luggage. “I’m booking myself a room and you can go on your merry way; it was nice meeting you.” 

“I have nowhere to go.” 

“Luckily for you, we are in the perfect place for you to spend the night.” 

“Do I look like I have any money?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Well, not my problem,” He shrugged, closing the trunk and making his way towards the building’s reception. “I’m sure you can find a gentleman that would be very happy to pay to spend the night with you.” 

“Can’t I just sleep with you?” You ignored his suggestion of prostitution, not judging it worthy of your attention. 

“And have the Kims knowing that not only did I help their pretty bride in her escape, but also shared a bed with her?” He quickly turned around so you could see how his chest rumbled with laughter before going back on his way. “Funny.” 

Why was he being so complicated? 

You quickly looked around to see if anyone could possibly be watching, but decided it was dark enough for your foolish just-thought-out plan. You were not really proud of what you did next but, in your excuse, you truly were desperate and the way your mind was all over the place didn’t help you make much sense of the situation. 

“Jaehyun,” You called, purse briefly discarded on the floor next to you. 

The man sighed and turned back once again, but he stopped laughing when he saw you – Jaehyun’s face flashed in shock for a single second before it morphed into an amused expression instead. Head cocked to the side; he surprised you as he leisurely started approaching your figure once again. 

“Oh, princess,” He lowly chuckled at your shaking grip on the gun’s handle. “If you’re going to point that at me, you better know how to use it.” 

“Take me wherever you’re going with you,” You demanded, ignoring his remark. You weren’t actually going to shoot him, you just wanted to, to… - this really wasn’t a well-thought-out plan. 

“I truly can’t, but I appreciate the passion,” He smiled, raising his hand to calmly aim the gun at the floor instead of at his chest. 

 You simply used the side of the weapon to slap his hand away before pointing it back where you wanted it, “Why not?” 

“I’m heading across the ocean.” 

“That sounds perfect, I’m sure you can manage to get me some fake documentation like you probably did for yourself.” 

“And what do I get out of it?” 

“My company. Also, I do know how to shoot.” 

“Do you really?” He raised an eyebrow at you, staring at you like you were the most entertaining thing he had ever seen in his whole life.  

It was unnerving. 

“Yes. I can help you with whatever dubious business you have, I’m a fast learner,” You inform, not really knowing what you were offering yourself for, but figuring anything would be better than being the mafia’s bitch. 

“C’mon,” He rolled his eyes, but let out a delighted chuckle anyways when he turned around. You knew he was making fun of you, but it didn’t matter, it got you what you wanted. “And put that thing away.” 

You hastily picked up your purse and shoved your gun back inside, running after Jaehyun to catch up to him. 

                              _______________________ 

You learned after a few days that Jaehyun wasn’t a man of many words. He also refused to share a bed with you, always asking whatever motel you passed by for a room with double beds, and if they didn’t have one, he would just sleep on the floor despite your complaints. It was frustrating that you still didn’t know what it was that he did to make money, and every time you asked, he simply said it was no job for women, which you knew was something he said just to annoy you. 

You could tell he didn’t put much faith in your offer to help him, but he still entertained you, letting you know he would give you a chance to participate when the day came. Honestly, if he wanted to drag you around the country for free, you weren’t going to complain. 

Jaehyun was incredibly annoying with all of his superiority sense. When he spoke, only back-handed remarks or teasing comments left his mouth, it was clear he didn’t take you seriously and it was slowly driving you insane – If he called you doll one more time, you wouldn’t think going back begging on your knees to Doyoung would be such a bad idea. 

 But, despite his whole attitude problem, Jaehyun was nice to you in silence: He lent you his clothes when you didn’t have any and took you to a store downtown to buy new ones when you passed through a city he has been to before, not complaining about having to pay for all of it. You remembered how he silently watched as you set your wedding dress on fire in the parking lot of the random motel you chose for the night, or how he took you to the movies after you tried to call your mother from a payphone and ended up sobbing for the first time in years. 

The man left you alone during most of the days, running whatever business he had in the different cities you visited. He sometimes came back with cuts and bruises and you cleaned him up with a harsh look on your face, but at the end of the day, you had no right judging him when he was the one bringing food and putting shelter over your head. He eventually taught you how to do the guns’ maintenance and at least now you had a role, getting the weapons tidy and ready for the next day. You wondered for how long he would accept carrying you around without asking for anything in return, he didn’t seem all that interested in bedding you and he knew you were as poor as one comes; Maybe he would just kill you. 

“Have you ever killed a man?” You had asked one day as you cleaned the inside of your gun’s barrel, on the little table at the corner of your rented room. 

The man had simply looked up from the newspaper he was reading on his bed and raised an eyebrow, “Have you?” 

“Can you ever answer anything I ask?” 

“Can you ever pay for your own stuff?” 

You dropped the subject after that. 

As cold as Jaehyun was, it was clear he was beginning to grow fond of you. At first, he had treated you like some sort of charity project to acquire his pass to heaven, but as time passed, he started unfolding layer by layer. One day he brought a wine bottle to celebrate something, he didn’t tell you what exactly, but he did tell you all about how his mother used to study French and he learned it just by hearing her practice. He also told you how they used to plan on moving to France when he was little, how he and his mother spent hours talking before going to bed about how their little house would be, him promising her he would help take care of the garden so they could have many beautiful flowers. Both of you sat on cheap wooden chairs in the motel’s parking lot, drinking the wine under the stars as if you lived inside poetry – Jaehyun started smiling after the fourth glass and you did believe life was art in that moment. 

“My family has some property in France, I’ll take you and your mother there one day to show you my gratitude,” You offered with an easy smile. 

The man turned his head to look at you, you could see his dimples but his eyes looked sad, “Your family´s really rich, huh?” 

“Old money.” 

“How are you adjusting to this new side of life, princess?” He joked, meaning all the cheap rooms and dirty bathrooms your life had become. 

“It has been… An experience,” You laughed lowly, like being loud would disrupt the universe above you. “I’d trade my old life for showering in a gas station’s sink any day.” 

Your quickly developing bond was made clear when one-night, Jaehyun got back to your shared room to find you trembling on the floor, hugging your legs as blood stained you all over. Jaehyun didn’t even look at the body next to you on the floor, he just silently picked you up and took you to the bathroom. 

“Are you hurt?” He asked after placing you on the toilet and turning the hot water on to fill the tub. 

You shook your head in denial, eyes lost on the floor. 

He didn’t ask you any questions that night, he simply undressed you and placed you on the warm water, softly rubbing all the blood from your skin and hair for hours. After emptying and refilling the tub for the third time so the water wouldn’t be red anymore, Jaehyun left you soaking and when you finally had the strength to get up and go back to your room, the sun was up and Jaehyun had already taken care of everything. You didn’t have it in you to ask what he had done with the body, but that day he drove for hours to get you out of there. You could see he was exhausted but with a tense jaw, he ignored as you cried for him to stop, only parking the next night when he felt you would be safe for the time being. 

 That night he did sleep with you, held your hair up while you threw up and forced you to eat whatever he managed to find in the reception. 

Eventually, the shock of playing God became bearable and Jaehyun started pestering you about your gun. You had tried leaving it behind on 4 different occasions but he had always picked it up and brought it with him, hiding it in your purse just in case you needed it. You just didn’t feel comfortable carrying it around anymore, the feeling of warm blood on the palm of your hands was not something to be taken lightly. 

“Now that we know for sure they’re after you and catching onto us, you should always have your gun,” He had lectured and you simply closed your eyes, not needing to be reminded. 

Some nights later, he got to the motel of choice to an empty room and completely panicked, heart almost jumping out of his throat as he saw the silent space until he eventually found the note you had left on the bedside table. 

Went into the woods, will be back late. 

He didn’t wait, immediately locking the door and rushing into the trees behind the motel. He felt like he walked for hours but it was probably what his nerves made it feel like, cold sweat running down his neck. When he did find you, all the screaming about irresponsibility he had prepared and the desire to tie you up somewhere so you would just behave, were forgotten at the sight in front of him. 

“You have a bad left eye; you should always aim a little bit more to the right.” 

You jumped in surprise at the sudden voice but followed the instructions. You had always been a good shooter, even before Doyoung - but Jaehyun was right, you did have a bad left eye. 

“The carnival is in town,” You had excitedly informed a busy Jaehyun on a Friday afternoon. “Saw it on the newspaper.” 

“Hm.” 

“Can we go?” 

“No.” 

“Please?” 

“Do you perhaps enjoy having a target on your face?” He looked up at you from the bag he was organizing. 

“We’ve been running for weeks, there’s no way they know where we are. Please?” 

“Stop whining, you’re not a child and it’s not cute.” 

Later that day, he took you to the carnival. 

He was tense the whole night and only agreed to stay for an hour, but you managed to convince him to ride the Ferris Wheel and buy you some game tickets. You knew you would have to leave behind all the prizes once you had to skip town and hit the road again - You sure complained about that, earning an eye roll and silence in response, but a few days later you found the plushie elephant you had liked the most hidden in the trunk of Jaehyun’s car. 

You had lost track of the time a long time ago, days started losing their meaning to all the different rooms and cheap restaurants. Your location was a mystery that didn’t really intrigue you, but you figured you had probably already crossed around half of the country by the change of scenery. Jaehyun didn’t leave you every day, he once in a while stayed “home” and you were surprised to find yourself hoping for those moments when he would read his French books out loud from his bed and you would enjoy the sound of his voice as you stared at him – But pretended to be sleeping every time he looked up. 

On days he did have to leave though, he didn’t always wake up paranoid. Occasionally, he gave you some money to go explore whatever town you were staying in for the next day or two. You always returned with a little trinket you thought he would like, and he always scolded you for spending money on useless things, but you were way past the point of feeling like a child under his gaze anymore – You just had to learn how to hide the smile on your face when you caught him wearing one of the things you had “gifted” him.  

You imagined he was happy at not being bothered by your constant whining over being left alone and bored every day. 

“You know what I miss the most?” You lightly kicked some water at the man sunbathing next to you, ignoring his annoyed groan. “From being rich, I mean.” 

“Having servants who were obliged to put up with you?” 

“The Balls. They were quite boring at first, but at the end of the night when most guests had already left, the band always started playing better music for me and I had so much fun dancing,” You smiled fondly at the memory, eyes lost deep into the pool. “Doyoung was an excellent lead.” 

“Did you love him?” 

“Sometimes,” You shrugged. “He was a gentleman, but at the end of the day we had many fundamental differences.” 

“Like torturing people.” 

“Like torturing people,” You nodded. “He tried teaching me how to drive, you know how a woman driving is viewed by society.” 

“What a good man,” Jaehyun rolled his eyes sarcastically. 

“Never said he was. But he treated me well, besides the whole trying to make me his property thing.” 

“Do you think there is such a thing as being morally grey?” 

“You, caring for my opinion?” You raised an eyebrow at him, even though he couldn’t see it behind the funky sunglasses you had bought the day before. 

“You’re the only person I have to talk to,” He shrugs. “Entertain me.” 

“Your luck. But I guess I do, yeah.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, I’m not sure. I used to think people were either good or bad, but now I see that as with most situations in life, there is no such thing that is completely black or white. Look at yourself, for instance.” 

“And what do you mean by that?” 

“Exactly what I said, I still have no idea what you do with your life, but I’ve gathered enough to know it’s not accounting. But you’re nice to me. Also – At the end of the day, I did abandon my fiancé at the altar and killed a man, but I don’t feel like I’m a bad person. I think.” 

“You’re wearing heart-shaped pink glasses, you don’t have much to worry about,” He smiled at you, his eyes squinting - You hadn’t noticed they did that (It’s not like Jaehyun smiled much). 

“Is this the face of a killer?” You joked, pressing your palm to your cheek. 

“You kill one man and start acting like you’re going to dethrone the Kims,” He rolls his eyes amusedly and you laugh. “Want some lessons on torture next, princess?” 

“As if you could teach me,” You provoke, trying to get him to finally tell you about his line of work. 

“You’ll need to be smarter than that,” He winks at you and you huff in disappointment. 

You stared at him quietly for a while, he looked relaxed for once, even happy if that wouldn’t be pushing it too hard.  

Jaehyun was lying down next to the pool, one arm behind his head and his eyes closed. The golden light of the soon-to-set sun hit his skin and made it look like honey and his ashy bangs messily hit his eyelids. For once in your life, you felt your heart warm, like if you could spend the rest of your years staring at Jaehyun looking this peaceful, you would. He just felt familiar, like home – It was you and him alone against the world. 

“We need to cut your hair,” You smile fondly, reaching your arm out to move his strands away from his face. 

……………………………………………………………. 

Even though on most days you felt your heart burst in joy at the jiggling sound of the door handle when Jaehyun got home, you often found your heart feeling the same at the angry bang of the door behind his leaving form after a fight. You sometimes felt guilty over screaming at the man who was most literally keeping you alive and giving you everything in exchange of nothing, but he was just so simply infuriating and his patronizing little “princess” and “doll” remarks didn’t always sit well with you, especially after a restless night filled with anxiety and worrying that one of the Kims' men could just burst into your room and stab you to death.   

Jaehyun was not a soft man, he had no problem with throwing things in your face or making comments that could almost literally pierce you when he was angry, but thankfully, after everything that you had to go through and almost being sold to strangers, neither were you. If the Kims didn’t get to you first, you were sure the two of you would kill each other one day, there was only so much of hearing about how you were a spoiled brat with absolutely nothing in life that you could take. 

One of these days, Jaehyun came back way after midnight, thankful you were already asleep because he could still feel the fire in his veins ready to burn you if you gave him the chance. He was already stressed enough with work businesses; he didn’t need you to throw him over the edge with your sarcastic comments.  

Jaehyun quietly took a shower and got on his bed, throwing the covers around in annoyance until he heard you sniffing. His whole body tensed, alert. 

“Y/N?” 

Silence. 

You tried to be quiet, not wanting to deal with Jaehyun in that moment but wanting him to hold you at the same time. It was the fourth time that week that you had woken up desperate after horrible dreams, ranging from your maid being tortured to Jaehyun never coming back home. That night, you had dreamed about your mom begging you to come back or else the Kims would kill her, she looked bloody and puffy from crying, bruises and scratches all over her body as she sobbed and screamed in pure panic at the sight of her torturer. 

“I need to go back,” You whispered after a while, eyes glued to the ceiling. 

Next chap soon

[tozettastone]

Been tossing up Shinji×Ichigo (shinjigo?) time travel concepts in my brain recently. I do not think I'll use this one but I liked it and you might find it fun also —

-----

Shiba Ichigo was evidently willing to take orders from Shinji, a fact which seemed to give every teacher and superior officer he'd had to date a massively inflated notion of Shinji's leadership skills. It was also a point of totally irrational pride, because Shinji was his captain and it was Ichigo's damn job to take orders from him.

However, sneakily checking up upon a single meeting between the two proved that Ichigo was downright docile with Urahara Kisuke.

Ichigo followed him without any evidence of complaint. He let Urahara pick their eatery. He let him pay. He followed him to the table he chose.

Shinji perched on the roof of the building across the street, looked straight down in through the window, and watched Ichigo just... easily permit Urahara to pick their table and casually gesture Ichigo into the seat with its back to the sturdy stone wall. (He would have tried to bully Shinji into that seat, as if Shinji wasn't a centuries-old veteran captain.)

But Ichigo didn't even stop to think about it. He just followed Urahara Kisuke's — well, they weren't even orders, were they? They were just... nonverbal cues. Just nonverbal cues that left Urahara's back exposed to the street (and also to the sullen glare Shinji was aiming at his fluffy blond skull).

Ichigo did as he was told like he was just naturally tractable or something. For Urahara.

He only looked mildly annoyed a few times and didn't even try to keep Urahara at a reasonable distance. Shinji was pretty sure he saw him actually smiling. Well. Once. But frankly, he'd never seen that before, ever, so once was enough.

"Huh," said a familiar black cat, settling in on the roof tiles next to him. She craned her neck to peer down into the window at the correct angle, and then gave up on the tiles and bounced up onto Shinji's shoulder. He shifted to accommodate her. "Great minds think alike, I see. I was wondering what a workaholic like Kisuke was getting up to when he left on time for the third night in a row."

"Can you be a bit quieter?" Shinji asked. "I'm tryin' ta eavesdrop."

"You mean you can't read lips?" she wondered, sniffing in catlike disdain right in his ear. "Hmm." She didn't actually say you amateur, but he could hear it all the same.

One of his eyebrows twitched, but he regarded this stupid provocation as less important than the stomach-turning way Ichigo looked at Urahara like he was fondly exasperated, like they were old friends, like he knew him so well —

"Interesting," mused Yoruichi, blandly, like it didn't matter.

Maybe to her it didn't. Probably she couldn't even hear Shinji's heart thumping angrily in his chest, as if his own body was hostile territory.

"By the way," she said, in a rough, quiet, secretive kitty voice. She turned her face into his jaw. "Do you know why Central 46 is paying such attention to Shinhouin-sama's accusations? At this rate we'll be lucky if he only humiliates himself. The Shiba clan's tolerance isn't endless."

"Not a clue," Shinji admitted. He was still trying to catch what Ichigo was saying, but it seemed Yoruichi had come on the same general mission as him: real reconnaissance, and only ostensibly stalking her third seat for personal entertainment.

"I only ask," she said, pensively, "because I spotted your third seat running errands to the council hall last week."

Shinji stiffened. That was news to him. How had he missed Sōsuke wandering off to volunteer his so-valuable time to C46?

He licked his teeth thoughtfully. How suspect. How fascinating all his wonderful subordinates were, lately. He couldn't wait to knock them off the table and learn what the fuck was going on.

"Huh. If we're sharing so much, I thought Ichigo might be catching up with Urahara-san to lean on his connection to you."

"Not that I've noticed," she said slowly, as if thinking hard. "...In fact, Kisuke hasn't mentioned anything about Shiba-fukutaichō at all."

She looked back at the pair in the window, yellow gaze intent.

"Is that odd?"

"Yes." Shinji could feel her tail twitch, sliding against his long hair.

Huh. Interesting. Who knew the two of them were so entwined and dependent as all that?

"This doesn't look like a business meetin'," Shinji admitted, watching Ichigo scowl half-seriously and wield a disposable chopstick like a weapon while Urahara held his hands up and tried to look innocent. From his body language, he was about as good at that as Shinji was, which was to say: not.

They were playing.

It wasn't the razor sharp, tense way Ichigo and Sōsuke teased each other, either. That was barbed and hostile, amusing and headache-inducing by turns.

These two were...

Well. Shinji was no longer worried about professional poaching or stupid aristocratic manoeuvring. Now he was instead concerned that his young, earnest lieutenant might actually be entangled in some nightmare romantic liaison with a shady guy like Urahara. This unreasonably upsetting thought made him briefly but incandescently annoyed, for reasons we shall not discuss here.

"I should think not," sighed Yoruichi. "Which is very funny for me personally, but I really thought I'd be getting answers to a different question here."

Shinji hummed non-committally. He did not find this scenario very funny at all.

[moonydustx]

Hi! I think I'm back, well, let me emphasize the "I think"! Depression and anxiety took a toll on me, but now I'm better, I promise! So, I decided to leave this excerpt that I wrote and found cute. I hope you like it!

Law x F!Reader (is referred to only as "she" without y/n or you)

--

For a long time, the days on the Polar Tang were almost peaceful.

Calm and submerged navigation, less impacted by the waves than on normal ships. Tasks designed, assigned and carried out with precision, even though there was always the occasional complaint from those who were in charge of cleaning the bathrooms - not that Law did them often, he always managed to dodge them and get stuck in the middle of endless sheets and research. That is when he didn't waste time on silly memories while twirling his own hat between his fingers or lying on his own bed, throwing the first thing up and picking it up again in an almost mechanical gesture. Well, for someone who could change and replace things at will, that was almost relaxing. Almost.

The entire crew's route was interspersed with dreams, struggles and discoveries, in addition to the search for Roger's infamous treasure, which even though Law claimed it wasn't his priority, still occupied a large part of his thoughts.

These thoughts permeated so many things that he barely noticed a caged fury that crossed his crew's path. At the same time that he saw in her eyes a desire to annihilate everything in front of her, he also saw frightened eyes. As similar as his own had once been. It didn't take much for her to start wearing the same uniform as his other companions and for all that fury to be directed at all of his enemies. What could Law do, after all, he was a lover of lost causes. Once, almost in another life, he had been one of those causes.

As in a surgery, be it the simplest or the most complicated, those where every heartbeat registered on the monitor makes a difference, Law watched her prognosis improve. What was once a quiet woman, who only nodded and followed orders, was now able to open up, laugh and talk to others. That was how he discovered that she had lost everything she had, even the hope of having something again. All that hatred was replaced by a warm laugh that echoed against the walls of the peaceful Polar Tang. The waves that circled the surface seemed like the perfect and suitable environment for her and her other companions - especially Bepo, who wouldn't turn his nose up at diving in freezing waters - to turn a dive into a water fight.

Law soon discovered that nights weren't just for being buried in books or filled with exhausted sleep. They could be filled with stories of all kinds. Of affection, of care, and of a different kind of peace than he was used to. Of a new kind of peacefulness.

A peaceful time where the tasks would be divided into divisions to fit the woman who stole his attention. Where when she was left with the heaviest tasks, with just a simple smile that was so rare at first, was now enough to convince the captain of the heart pirates to help her. The silly time he spent lying in bed, throwing things up in the air and thinking about countless things were soon replaced by loud stories, whispers, and the smacking sounds of lips touching. Not that he would admit it out loud, but there was still room for a new branch, a new scene among all those that inhabited the little Polar Tang.

So, the days in the Polar Tang were still peaceful. And yet, they were just the way the boy from the North Blue dreamed.

[one-idea]

I had an idea for a story but no time to do anything with it so I offer to you:

The crew is facing some monarch with a devil fruit that forces absolute obedience from the people they hit with it. Zoro gets hit, but the command is "kneel and obey your king" and. Well. Zoro has only ever had one king, hasn't he?

It quickly turns out that Luffy and Zoro can read each other so well that Zoro starts responding to nonverbal orders, things Luffy wants but would never say, never command. Zoro might not even be mentally present, just responding automatically.

I love this!!! And I am honored that you chose me.

On this could be so sweet and at the same time utterly heartbreaking.

Because you know as soon as they find out what that guys devil fruit ability is Luffy hates him. Luffy values freedom above everything else. The idea that someone has the ability to strip someone of their freedom so completely and force them to obey every command has to enrage him.

Especially if the people under his control have no free will. Because you can play this ability a few ways

Complete and utter control. They don’t do anything without being told to do it.

They live their lives normally until an order is given (like Ella enchanted. She has to obey the order but she is conscious the whole time and able to express her displeased with certain orders)

Mix it they live a normal life until an order is given and then they kind zone out until the order is complete.

And depending on which style it is can lead to a lot of different outcomes. (You could even make it so that the ability differs depending on how many times he commands them, the power becoming more encompassing each time.)

Anyhow the Strawhats hear about this and Luffy goes in Guns a Blazing as always. Nami tries to stop him because “what happens if he orders one of us?”

Luffy is sure that defeating the guy will free everyone, it’s worked every other time. Besides they are all stronger willed enough to probably break free. Zoro agrees because he’d never take a weak man’s orders. Sanji is hesitant but agrees that they have to beat this guy and the other two have already left.

But they get there and Luffy and Zoro have fought their way to the top. The others following up behind them. They are facing down the Monarch who smirks because they’ve heard about the famous strawhats Captain and his loyal dog. “I wonder what you’ll do Strawhat, when your mutt no longer listens to you.” They then turn to Zoro and order “Roronoa Zoro kneel and obey your King.”

They’re smirking expecting Zoro to fall to his knees in front of them. And Zoro does fall to his knees but he’s facing Luffy. He’s not speaking (he can’t) and is awaiting his orders.

Luffy is shocked. The enemy is cackling because he thinks he’s got Zoro but Luffy yells. “Zoro get up.” And Zoro’s right back to his feet.

“Yes my king.”

The king is flabbergasted and Luffy is looking on with pride thinking Zoro shook off the command.

The monarch escapes durning some confusion which isn’t ideal but they’ll catch up.

It isn’t until later when Zoro is doing every little thing Luffy says with out complaint (“Zoro carry me.” He gets scooped up no question. “Zoro! Meat.” They’re heading to the kitchen) and it takes the crew a while to catch on because Zoro is always by Luffy and Zoro always does things for Luffy. But normally there is gruff complaining from him at the least.

It isn’t until later that they put it together that Zoro is under the devil fruit power. But the command “Kneel and obey your king” was a poor one to give Zoro because he already has a king. He is the first mate of the future pirate king. The monarch meant obey me but Zoro’s brain only processes King as Luffy. There is no other.

Luffy is horrified when he finds out. Zoro has been doing whatever he wanted all day. And he thought it was his first mate indulging him. In actuality he had stripped Zoro of his freedom. Zoro had been obeying not because he’s the best first mate ever but because he had no choice. And he hadn’t said anything!

Zoro figures it out right away. But he can’t say anything to Luffy. He knows his captain. If he knows he has complete control over Zoro he would hate it so much. He’d be overly careful around Zoro and probably stop talking to him to try and avoid giving him any commands. (He’s right that’s Luffy’s go to strategy once he finds out)

He trust Luffy completely. Luffy, while silly, rarely gives Zoro orders that he wouldn’t chose to obey anyways.

Until they find out. Maybe Zoro sees a threat and goes to chase after it and Luffy yells to wait. He means for Zoro to wait up, he wants to fight to. But Zoro freezes mid-step. And just like that all the pieces click together.

And the idea that they can read each other so well that Zoro is obeying non verbal commands is so cute but also heart wrenching because Luffy is trying to hard not to order Zoro around that he’s just not talking to him. But Zoro knows Luffy. And is so used to predicting and interpreting his wants and needs he’s doing things any ways.

He’s pulling Luffy into hugs when he needs comfort (a movement Zoro normally lets pass) he stands beside him when Luffy needs support.

And it’s causing Luffy to spiral because Zoro doesn’t want to do these things he’s making Zoro do them.

But Zoro absolutely wants to be with Luffy and comfort him and support him. Luffy could ask him to disembowel himself and he’d do it. Because the king was right he is Luffy’s loyal first mate (dog) and if he was going to be forced to obey anyone he’d pick Luffy because he trust him completely.

But to Luffy this is a violation of this trust. Any order he has to give that Zoro follows blindly is stressing him out because Zoro is going to hate him for taking his freedom.

Oh I love this idea so much!!! Thank you. I’ll have to think about this more.

[pluvpluvpluv]

Study Break

18+ || MDNI || Content Warnings: SMUT, characters aged up, established relationship, language, praise kink, thigh riding, lil bit of breeding kink, semi public sex I think that covers it all

Word Count: 1480 exactly

Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

A/N: Happy Thirsty Thursday :) This was written in one sitting and not edited at all. I read through it once before going “yeah post it”

~~~

MC was ready for summer. Summer meant NEWTs were done and she could take a month or so off to celebrate and relax before diving headfirst into her next adventure. She had spent the last two summers under an apprenticeship with Fatima Lawang, making the trip from Feldcroft to Keenbridge every day to study and learn business from someone she truly looked up to. She would be opening a small apothecary in the hamlet she now called home. It was a wonderful location, since she knew Bernard really stuck to selling beast byproducts and plants. She wouldn’t be encroaching on his market, and she could also source ingredients from him. It was going to be, thankfully, a mutually beneficial existence.

She had moved to Feldcroft at the end of their fifth year. Sebastian had nowhere else to live over the summer months, she really had nowhere to live over that time, and neither wanted to be alone. So, when that first year had come to an end, she just followed him home. He had started courting her about halfway through that summer. She had accepted and they had practically lived together like a married couple ever since.

Before she could get to the summer and enjoy her newfound freedom with the love of her life, she had to pass the NEWTs. In order to get her apothecary license, she needed to score high in Potions and Herbology at the very least, but that wasn’t going to be enough for her. The reputation of saving the wizarding world at fifteen years old meant she was expected to do exceedingly well on all of her NEWTs, and she was determined to do so.

She had taken up residence in one of the more secluded corners of the library. It always ensured that MC wouldn’t have to share the table and she could have all of her books open and spread out. Only a select few people knew of where she hid out to study, which limited the interruptions. Except in the case of her boyfriend.

She didn’t know how long she had really been studying when Sebastian finally sat beside her. She didn’t even look up from rereading a paragraph she had already read ten times before. She still retained nothing.

“MC. Love, you missed lunch. I brought you some food.”

“Thanks Bash. I’ll eat it in a minute. I just need to understand what this page is saying.”

He set the plate down and moved the book.

“Considering it’s well past lunch and I didn’t even see you at breakfast, I think you can’t understand the page because you’re hungry. Eat and take a break.”

MC glared at him, debating whether or not it would be worth the argument since they were both the most stubborn person the other had met. That train of thought was interrupted by a rather loud growl as she was betrayed by her own stomach. She ate the food that he brought her without further complaint.

While she ate, Sebastian sat beside her and scanned over the tomes she had laid out on the table. She was paying more attention to him instead. The way that his eyebrows furrowed when he was focused on a paragraph in one of the books and the way his lips moved silently with the words. She focused on his hands as he turned the page and the way that the muscles in his exposed forearms flexed even with that small movement. She could feel herself growing hotter by the second, and it led to the realization that she and Sebastian hadn’t been intimate in nearly three weeks. It could’ve been a record, honestly. Even before he was courting her, after they took each other’s virginities that first summer in Feldcroft, they hardly went more than a couple days without going after each other. The joys of two students living with no chaperone.

“I can feel you staring holes in the side of my head, MC. Have you finished eating? Do you want me to read to you to see if that helps you understand the material better?”

The way he cared for her had also always been one of her favorite things. She had never been good at keeping herself in check, but Sebastian always did his best to make sure she didn’t overextend herself.

“I—uh it’s mostly gone. But I was thinking about something else.”

“Were you? Care to share with the class, darling?”

“I could use your help. Just in a different way.”

He looked at her curiously for a moment before it seemed he registered the look on her face and his expression grew more heated.

“Have you been thinking too much? Do you want to turn that brilliant brain off for a minute?”

His tone was condescending, and while it would normally agitate her when he spoke to her that way, this time it felt different. She nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving his own while a smirk grew on his face.

“Do you remember over the winter holiday, you told me about how one of the girls had talked about grinding on a pillow when she didn’t want to do things herself and I made you do it for me? We don’t have a pillow here, but I bet I could have you grinding on something else and feeling as good as you did that night. Come sit on my thigh, darling. We’ll see if you can ride me like you rode that pillow. Maybe you’ll make just as big a mess on me.”

As she settled in on his lap, she was grateful she had opted for a skirt instead of one of the few outfits she had with pants. The back of the skirt that draped over her boyfriend’s knee would hopefully help hide what they were doing if anyone were to stumble back and find them.

She gave an experimental roll of her hips, and she felt Sebastian’s thigh flex beneath her. MC let out a shaky exhale as she did it again. The thin fabric of her knickers and the coarse fabric of Sebastian’s quidditch pants provided the most delicious friction to her clit. Sebastian’s large hands settled on her hips beneath her skirt, the feel of his fingertips on her bare skin lighting her nerves on fire.

“Make sure you stay quiet. Don’t need anyone hearing how I’m helping you study,” his voice purred, the effect going straight to her core.

As she grew more confident, her pace picked up. Sebastian helped, tensing his thigh and slightly pushing her hips down when she rolled them to make sure that the bundle of nerves she was focused on didn’t go a second without feeling something.

“That’s it, darling. Use me. Grind that needy little cunt on my thigh.”

MC gasped softly, biting her lip as the familiar tension in her lower stomach began to build. She was able to keep her volume down, but she couldn’t keep herself from whining and whimpering completely.

“Bash. Oh gods. I-I’m~”

“Keep going, darling. I can feel how bad you need it. That pretty pussy is drooling through my trousers. You’re making such a mess for me, my good girl. Go on. Cum on my thigh. You can do it, honey.”

With his encouragement and permission, she felt herself giving into the pleasure as her orgasm hit. Her hips stuttered, but Sebastian kept her in rhythm. She registered his low moan too, her chest heaving as she started to come down from her high.

MC’s hand moved to where she assumed she’d find Sebastian’s bulge, hard and aching for the attention she wanted to give it. Instead, her hand landed on a warm, wet patch on the front of his trousers.

“Sebastian Sallow,” she spoke his name low and soft, her frazzled brain slowly putting the pieces together as she looked up at him. “You came in your pants. Untouched. Because of me?”

The boy’s freckled cheeks flooded with color as he blushed. Her normally suave boyfriend seemed embarrassed by this turn of events.

“I may have. You didn’t see yourself. Or hear yourself for that matter. I didn’t realize it was going to happen until it just…happened.”

“That is one of the hottest things you’ve ever done. If we can sneak down to the library floo flame without getting caught, we can make it to the ROR. And I can give you something else to cum in.”

He let out a dark chuckle, looking at her with blown pupils.

“You think this is a game, MC? Hmm? Merlin, I’m gonna get you so fucking pregnant.”

Her eyes widened, and she couldn’t stop the giggle that fell from her lips. She was still giddy as she pulled him down the stairs and towards the floo flame on the back wall.

Thank Merlin for study breaks.

[exhaustedpirate]

cinnamon-flavoured kisses

my offering for the 'crash that jeep' fam with a dash of missing scene from 7x03! take a shot everytime i make a coffee metaphor and keep 911 on speed dial (i take no responsibility) also, tommy kinard's coffee order is my coffee order and i will hear no complaints *smooch*

rated T | 6626 words also on AO3

It’s been almost two months but Buck still forgets to set up the coffee machine to brew in the morning.

Firefighter Buckley!

Every night, he goes to bed and every morning, he wakes up without coffee hot and waiting for him. 

It’s nothing major, really, just an extra fifteen minutes he could save.

Buckley!

Tommy used to set it up for him. 

And every night, they went to bed together and every morning, they would wake up to the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee. 

Buck, come on!

Tommy chose the machine. 

One morning, they woke up to an overpowering smell of coffee in the house. To a kitchen flooded with coffee. 

Please!

Tommy helped him clean up. They grabbed coffee on the way to the appliance’s store as Buck rambled on about this or that machine until he let Tommy choose one.

So it really isn’t his fault that he forgets to set up the coffee machine. It’s on Tommy. He chose it.

Yeah.

“Evan, Evan!”

It’s Tommy’s fault.

“Please, come back to me!”

---

15 Minutes Earlier

His coffee sucked.

He had set it to brew while he took a shower that morning. It was probably the wrong temperature, he must have clicked the wrong button. 

He must have been wrong.

Nope, not the time for that, Buck. That’s what the shower was for - it’s not crying if you’re in the shower. And that was a bad habit on its own, his morning routine was suffering.

But it was coffee and really, he needed all the energy he could get. It wasn’t as if he had been sleeping well for the past couple months. 

He takes another sip at the red light. It really doesn’t help that the coffee sucks.

He’s been adamant at making it work, though, he isn’t about to give up now. There is a metaphor that he is not going to acknowledge. He isn’t.

The sound of sirens approaches the intersection, distracting him. An engine zooms by first, so fast he can barely see the numbers on it. The RA engine drives by just as fast. The vans in front of him are too tall. 

Buck sighs, taking another sip of the coffee. It still sucks. He doesn’t know why he expected it to be any different, he should have learned his lesson. He downs the rest of the coffee.

The light turns green and he follows the vans towards the right. He’s probably gonna get to the station just in time. Bobby will probably have coffee and breakfast for him ready, he’s complained enough about his coffee machine that his Captain has taken pity on him.

The sounds of sirens get louder and louder as he drives. In the approaching distance, he sees the orange glow of the fire. Almost unconsciously, he turns on the radio he still has on his truck, fiddling with the frequency to catch the walkies’ channel.

“-igin is on the first floor, Captain! The second floor has been evacuated.”

“Secure the first floor with Gimenez, Melton!” The Captain’s voice is familiar. The vans in front of him pick up speed on the stretch of road in front of them. “Jones, Nolan, check the basement. Donato, Kinard, feed the hoses.”

The coffee taste in his mouth turns bitter. It feels like a cruel sign from the universe. His coffee sucked and his ex-boyfriend is working a fire a few meters away from him. Bobby better have pancakes, he needs it. 

The traffic slows down. He starts to see the flames.

“Cap, there’s a methane leak in the basement.”

“Evacuate the building! Kinard, help cover the perimeter.”

Buck can see Tommy’s large figure jog across the street, to a familiar figure in blue. He swallows around the lump in his throat. He begs to anyone who’ll hear that he won’t have to drive past him, that he won’t have to pretend to be unaffected by his presence, that he won’t have to see the look of indifference in Tommy’s face. Please.

“Cap,” The panicked and breathless voice of one of the firefighters comes through the radio and Buck holds his breath as the van in front of him slows down almost to a stop. “The gas main line is damaged, it’s-”

There’s an explosion right behind him, the car behind him tipping to the side. It’s followed by an explosion from the building. His world shakes. Before he can move out of the car, straighten himself or even take another breath, an explosion sets off right under the van in front of him.

The large van tips over his jeep just as the ground rumbles. 

“The ground is unstable!” Tommy. His voice is full of static and he almost wants to smile. “We need to evacuate!”

He can’t believe that he has been having terrible coffee for two months.

He hears the cracks on the pavement over the shouts of the firefighters of the 217. No matter where he goes, he knows what’s going to happen. 

He should have fixed his coffee machine months ago instead of waiting for it to magically fix itself. He could have used those extra 15 minutes today.

The ground clatters right under him, he feels that weightless feeling for only a few seconds. His jeep reaches the ground first before everything else joins him. He hears the groaning metal of the van before it tips over him and the world goes dark.

---

The sun has set by the time Buck is following Chimney through Harbor Station’s mostly empty hangar.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Eddie asks as he walks alongside Buck. “Shouldn’t we talk to Hen first?”

“This is the only way,” Chimney says for the millionth time in the past hour. “Besides, I know she’s coming here.”

“You still haven’t told us why, Chim.” Buck points out.

“Howie?”

A large figure in blue walks towards them when he spots them. Chimney beams before winking at Buck and Eddie.

“He is why,” He says before he brings the man in for a back-slapping hug. “Good to see you, man!”

The “why” is a tall, broad man in a dark blue flight suit. He has a wide smile that makes wrinkles appear on the side of his face. The “why” has a cleft. His stomach feels weird.

Maybe he does have food poisoning. 

He didn’t actually have the sushi.

“Let me guess,” The man looks amusedly at Chim as he crosses his very large arms over his very broad chest. Hmm. “You need a favour?”

“You make it sound as if I only come to you for favours,” His brother-in-law holds up his hands with an innocent expression on his face. The man raises an eyebrow looking pointedly at Chim. “Fine, fine, I do need a favour.”

The man rolls his eyes good-naturedly, letting his posture relax, hands on his hips. “You’re lucky I owe you, Howie.” 

Eddie lets out a pointed cough and Buck could kiss his best friend for how it brings the man’s attention to them. He has blue eyes. They are…really blue.

He needs to remember that he didn’t have the sushi.

“Ah, before we get down to business,” Chim turns so he’s between them. “Guys, this is Tommy Kinard, he used to work at the 118 seven years ago.”

“Eddie Diaz,” The brunette man holds out his hand for Tommy to shake, a friendly smile on their faces. “You used to be at the 118?”

“I did, but that was before I decided flying helicopters was a much better fit.”

“That is so cool,” Buck’s voice comes out breathy and awed without his permission and it brings Tommy’s eyes back to his. That damn sushi. Wait. Buck clears his throat and holds out his hand. “Evan Buckley.”

“Nice to meet you, Evan.” 

His hand is warm and calloused. His smile is so damn soft. And his eyes are really blue.

Maybe someone snuck the bad sushi into his stomach on the way here?

“About that favour,” Chim interrupts and Buck almost growls at the loss of Tommy’s hand on his. Damnit. “We really need your help.”

Tommy stands with his arms crossed over his chest, a carefully attentive expression on his face, as Chimney explains what happened and subtly pleads for the pilot’s help. Buck feels Eddie’s eyes on the side of his face and turns to him - reluctantly because who doesn’t want to see those arms stretched over the flight suit? - with a confused frown.

“What?” Buck asks quietly.

“You didn’t-,” Eddie interrupts himself and presses his lips together. Buck feels like he’s been put under a microscope the way his best friend is looking at him. “You good, Buck?”

And his nickname felt like an accusation, like Eddie was poking at something but Buck didn’t get it. His confused frown wrinkled his whole face.

“Wha-”

“Alright, boys,” Tommy’s voice cuts him off with a clap of his large hands. They all turn to him. “Who’s ready to commit a crime?” His grin was wide despite the worry hidden in his face.

Chimney was just delighted as he put up his hand. “I am, I am.”

Eddie laughs as he nods. Buck follows them through the hangar even as he frowns.

“Wait, what are we doing?”

Tommy opens his mouth but Chimney is the one to answer his question. “Tommy here is gonna help us find Cap and Athena.”

Buck’s frown turns into wide eyes as he looks between Chim, Tommy and the sleek helicopter that almost magically appears in front of them - maybe Buck was distracted, maybe it was magic. “You’re flying us?”

Tommy just winks at him, and really there must be a rave going on in his stomach, before opening the door to the helicopter. “Wanna hop in first, Evan?”

And really Buck is too busy grinning widely at Tommy’s offer and making sure he doesn’t fall on his face while getting into the helicopter, to notice Eddie’s suspicious gaze on his back and his muttering of ‘Evan’. But really, there are better things to focus on, like Tommy’s fond look and his deep laugh. Much better things.

And then there was really nothing else to focus on besides not dying on a helicopter in the middle of a hurricane and saving Cap and Athena. But he did get to see Tommy’s smile again, the one that made his face scrunch up in the most adorable way.

And then he was going for his best friend’s ankles like the jealous man he was.

And getting kissed in his kitchen.

Seeing Tommy smile, feeling Tommy’s touches, the way he holds him. 

He did end up figuring out his coffee order. It took him five tries.

The new machine made great coffee. Before it broke.

---

Tommy had had crappy coffee before.

Especially at the fire station. Harbor was great but the coffee machine sucked - he’s been a big advocate for getting a new machine. But the budget doesn’t care about his caffeine intake.

Evan learned his coffee order. It took him five tries. 

He kinda wished it had taken him longer. He loved to see the expectant look on his face, the way he would frown when Tommy would shake his head, the way his eyes would sparkle with determination as he made some sort of mental note. 

He kinda wished he could relive the day he got it right. The way Evan’s eyes widened and his lips stretched into a happy smile, ecstatic, giddy, and the way they high-fived and laughed together. The way Evan moaned and sighed into their kiss as he surely tasted the sweet coffee on Tommy’s mouth. “Great choice, babe”, he had said as he licked his lips.

Now, every coffee sucked. For the past two months, he’s been having coffee at the station, not wanting to risk running into Ev-Buck at their coffee shop. 

They had a coffee shop. The barista knew their names and their orders.

He couldn’t go back there alone.

So, fire station coffee would have to do.

Maybe if he continued to punish himself with crappy coffee, he would feel better.

As he followed his Captain’s orders, he still felt the bitter taste of coffee on his tongue. It did its job, it kept him awake, he hadn’t been sleeping well. 

“Cap,” Nolan’s voice comes through the radio and Tommy welcomes how it brings his thoughts back to the scene. “There’s a methane leak in the basement.”

“Evacuate the building, now!” His Captain turns to him, a finger pointed towards the police officers already on scene. “Kinard, help cover the perimeter.”

With a nod, Tommy jogs towards the closest police cruiser and almost falters at the familiar figure that turns towards him. Athena Grant raises an eyebrow at him, the only crack in her otherwise professional mask. His heart pounds in his chest.

“Firefighter Kinard.”

His heart is ready to jump out of his throat. “Sergeant Grant,” He nods. “There’s a methane leak in the building, we need to start evacuating people.”

She nods and half-turns towards another officer. “Start working on traffic-”

“Cap,” Tommy falters at the panic in Jones’ voice. “The gas main line is damaged, it’s-”

An explosion startles both him and Athena as they watch a car tip over from the off-center explosion. The fallen vehicle is the third in the line, a van at the front and a Jeep between the two cars. There’s something familiar about the Jeep, maybe the color or the model. Another explosion sets off under the van and it causes it to rear up and fall over the Jeep.

The ground rumbles and Tommy jumps into action. 

“The ground is unstable!” He yells at the radio as he rushes to the fallen vehicles, his heart pounding as if it knows something Tommy doesn’t. “We need to evacuate!” 

He hears the cracks and watches as the pavement under the Jeep opens making the car fall down. A hand pulls him away as the cracks reach close to his feet. The van falls over the Jeep and his heart stops. 

Why? He doesn’t know. There’s a desperation in his body, a numbness spreading all over and he wants to claw out of his body.

“The 118 and 133 are already on their way,” His Captain calls out through the radio. “Sound out.”

Tommy stands paralysed, looking at the cars filling up the hole on the ground, as his colleagues call out through the radio. Most of them are okay, a couple of them got injured but everyone is walking.

“Kinard?” He hears the crackle of his radio like he’s underwater. 

“Firefighter Kinard?” Athena calls, pulls on his wrist, tries to catch his eye. “Tommy?”

Tommy frowns, clears his throat, shakes his head. He reaches for his radio. “Kinard here, two vehicles fell into the hole caused by the gas explosion. We need extraction teams.”

“Donato, Melton, get ready with the winch.”

“Tommy?” Athena calls him again.

The sirens have him turning towards the other side of the street, the engines approaching them quickly. The 118 is on scene and his stomach feels weird. He watches as Captain Nash orders everyone around, expecting to see a head of curls rush to comply with orders. 

But he’s not there.

Bobby makes his way to where he and Athena are standing. She is still holding his wrist. His old Captain has a frown on his face that is more than just regular work focus.

Something is wrong. His gut pulls at him.

“Is everything okay, Bobby?” Athena asks and finally lets go of him, his body aches.

Bobby looks at Tommy and he expects anger, disappointment or something equally as painful. But he just nods, maybe more tensely than normal, before he turns to Athena, apprehensively. His eyes keep glancing at Tommy and that desperation starts clawing at his throat again.

“Buck didn’t make it to the station-”

Tommy doesn’t wait to hear the rest before he rushes out towards the scene. He vaguely hears the others call out for caution. The van covers the top of the jeep, the angle causing it to hide the driver from where Tommy stands but he sees the van driver move. 

Time moves slowly as he carefully walks around the hole until he can see the back of the Jeep. He chokes out a laugh as tears blurry his vision at the sight of the bumper sticker he gave him a month before the breakup. “I am a great ally,” Evan had beamed as he immediately stuck the pink, purple and royal blue sticker on his car. “And I have a great boyfriend to prove it.”

Tommy takes a deep breath, pushing down the memory of that smiling kiss so he can focus. Evan needs him to focus. He grabs the radio as he looks back at a confused Bobby and Athena still where he left them. Tommy sees how Bobby realises what he’ll say before he does.

“The van driver is conscious and moving, Firefighter Buckley is stuck in his Jeep below, no visual on him.”

Everyone starts moving. The van driver is being carefully extracted by Hen and Howie while Eddie hooks the winch onto the van to remove it first. Images of what they’ll find when it’s removed flood his mind, that clawing ripping through his throat, a fist clenching his heart, a stomp on his stomach, his feet unstable.

“Eddie,” Bobby calls through the radio as he stands beside Tommy. “Once you’re done with the van, get strapped in, you’re going down to the Jeep.”

“Bobby-”

Eddie interrupts Tommy’s protest. “Will do, Cap.” 

“You’re staying here,” Bobby’s tone brokers no argument as he looks at Tommy. “You’re too close to this.”

“The driver is out,” Howie’s voice comes through the radio. “You can pull the van.”

The sound of the winch echoes all around him as he watches the battered Jeep being revealed from under it. The metal roof has caved in on itself and a hand sticks out from the open window. 

It’s his hand. Drops of blood fall from his fingertips. 

He remembers the day when Tommy cooked his famous lasagna, the only thing he could cook really, and Evan insisted on doing the dishes. He remembers making Evan laugh, the sound filling his chest with that bubbly feeling he had gotten so used to. He remembers the feel of Evan’s body shaking with laughter under his tickling fingers. He remembers the soapy water falling from his fingertips to the floor as Tommy got Evan’s arms around his neck and kissed him against the counter. 

It was a good memory. He wished they were back there. He wishes that the blood would be replaced by soapy water and the sounds of sirens and yelled out orders would be replaced by laughter.

“Get strapped in, Eddie.” Bobby says through the radio. It echoes. Tommy frowns.

Tommy’s hand wraps tightly on his radio. “Firefighter Buckley!”

The sound echoes all around the scene and he hears his voice from inside the Jeep. Evan’s fingers twitch, barely a move, but it’s there.

“He’s alive, Bobby,” Tommy turns towards his former Captain, uncaring for the desperation in his voice. “Did you see that?”

Bobby is frowning, a concerned look on his face as he meets Tommy’s eyes. “Eddie is almost ready,” He must see the way Tommy gets more restless. “Tommy.” He warns.

Tommy clenches and unclenches his toes, wanting to follow orders, he was made to follow orders. “Buckley!” He calls through the radio again, the fingers twitch again.

He hears Eddie curse, hears the harness fall to the ground from fumbling fingers. It’s taking too long.

“Buck,” The name tastes bitter on his tongue, he misses the sweet taste of Evan, of his perfected coffee, of him. “Come on!”

Eddie curses again. Tommy stops moving his toes, his body tenses. Bobby turns towards his clumsy firefighter - sure that it’s nerves and worry that has him failing a task he had to have done a million and one times before. It’s taking too long.

Tommy’s boots thud on the unsteady ground below before calls of his name can start from above. He stumbles from the sudden movement, balancing himself with a hand on the car. 

He begs to whoever hears that the last time he saw Evan wasn’t the last time, that he will see him smile again, that he will hear his voice again, even if it isn’t for him. Even if it isn’t Tommy making him smile, talking to him, he just wants Evan to be okay.

Tommy falters before he takes hold of Evan’s hand, his fingers trembling before he wraps it tightly on his. “Please!” He resists the temptation to kiss the hand in his, sucks in a deep breath instead before he turns towards the inside of the truck.

The breath he was taking gets stuck on his throat. Half of Evan’s face is covered in blood from a gash at his hairline. A vision straight from one of his nightmares. His other arm is bent at a strange angle and there are cuts all over his exposed flesh, a large one running down his bicep. 

“Tommy?” Bobby’s voice crackles on his radio and the one in Evan’s car, the terrified tone in his voice clear and duplicated.

Tommy’s hand trembles when he reaches for Evan’s neck, fingers pressing on his pulse point. A relieved breath almost causes his knees to buckle.

“He’s got a pulse,” He swears he feels the collective relief of the 118. “Uh, several cuts and bruises, head injury and uh, probably dislocated shoulder.”

“I’ll prepare the extraction team, see if you can get him to wake up.”

“Evan,” Tommy lets the desperation take over, reaches inside the car to unbuckle the seatbelt before he cups Evan’s cheek. “Evan!” 

His skin feels sweaty from the heat of the explosions, feels hot. He never thought he would be able to touch Evan again, much less like this. His thumb rubs over his bottom lip, hoping it would cause his mouth to open like it had before, like it always did. It doesn’t now.

Tommy feels a tear running down his cheek. All this time drinking crappy coffee when he could have been having coffee in Evan’s kitchen. In Tommy’s kitchen when they would’ve found a space on his counter for the fancy coffee machine. He could be having cinnamon-flavoured kisses against their kitchen counter if he hadn’t let his fears speak louder than his desires.

“Please,” His voice comes out as barely a whisper and he hears the mechanism for the winch above them. “Come back to me.” 

Eddie’s hand on his shoulder carefully pulls him away from the car, his eyes understanding, frightened, pleading, making Tommy take several steps back. Evan’s fingers on his twitch and just as he can no longer hold his hand, Evan’s eyes flutter open. 

Tommy’s knees buckle and he grabs hold of the car as Eddie forces the door open with the jaws. The sound drowns out Evan’s pained groans, each of them breaking Tommy’s heart bit by bit. The two of them get Evan situated on the board and Tommy has to look away. He feels a different hand on his shoulder. Howie. 

Wordlessly, his old friend helps to pull him out of the hole his ex-boyfriend almost died in. A shout of pain rings loudly in his ears when Hen feels for Evan’s shoulder. 

Evan passes out from the pain, Hen and Howie rushing to the ambulance after that. He feels unmoored, the car doors snapping the ropes holding him to shore. Tommy feels Bobby’s strong hand on his shoulder and he allows him to guide him back to shore.

“Let’s go, kid.”

Everything else after that is a haze of sirens, of a blurry LA through the engine windows. He feels Bobby’s stare from where he’s sitting on the back of the truck, next to a silent Eddie. He shouldn’t be there, he’s not part of the 118 anymore. 

He doesn’t move.

He crosses the glass doors side by side with Bobby and Eddie, following Evan’s stretcher. 

This time there isn’t an enthusiastic kiss greeting him on the other side. This time there isn’t a strong hand on his leading him to an impromptu wedding.

This time there’s hard waiting room chairs, there’s blood on his hands, there’s silence. 

He sits with the rest of the 118. 

He waits to hear if he’ll be having crappy fire station coffee for the rest of his life. Tommy would happily drink all crappy fire station coffee so long as Evan makes it through this. So long as Evan is able to make the cinnamon-flavoured coffee Tommy loves, even if it’s for someone else.

---

He has a concussion, a dislocated shoulder and fractured rib but Evan is awake.

Tommy keeps his eyes on the doctor informing Bobby and the rest of the team. Lets out a breath of relief along with the others, before he lets doubt, unease settle in.

He feels Bobby glance at him with thinned lips, almost pleading but Tommy doesn’t catch his eye. He has no rights, not the way Bobby does.

Eddie follows Bobby and the doctor to Evan’s room.

Tommy doesn’t move, he hasn’t moved since they got there. He can’t.

Hen and Howie glance at him, barely audible whispers between them, he can feel it. 

His hands still have Evan’s blood on them. It’s dried by now, it’s become part of his skin. He wants to keep it there, he wants to never see it again. He stands up abruptly, the whispers quiet and he feels their eyes on him as he walks away. 

Tommy should leave, should go back home, back to the station - he hadn’t talked to his Captain. He shouldn’t be there. Evan had his family with him. Tommy wasn’t family, he was an ex, he was nothing. And yet, standing in front of the automatic glass doors, he couldn’t take that step. 

His eyes struggle to adjust to the harsh lighting of the hospital bathroom as he makes his way to the sink. He doesn’t look up as he turns the tap, sure that his hair is a mess, he feels sweaty and he has seen them enough times to know there are bruises under his eyes from his sleepless nights. He takes a deep breath and places his hands under the warm water.

The water runs red as Tommy cleans all of Evan’s blood from his hands, a slow movement, hypnotising really. All it does is remind him of Evan’s face hidden by a stream of blood, his fingers barely moving dripping blood, the sounds of his pain. 

He’s alive, he reminds himself. In a room, a few feet from where he stands, Evan is awake and around family. And yet, all Tommy can see is blood. Evan was so restless, to see him so still, to see him so quiet, cries of pain where he usually heard laughter.

Evan is alive and yet Tommy tastes the bitter taste in his tongue, tastes the heartbreak he caused, tastes the pain he deserves, not Evan, never Evan.

His hands clench around the sides of the sink and that’s when Tommy feels how unstable his legs are, when he feels the tears falling onto the sink, when he hears the sobs shaking his body.

The sound of rushing water stops and someone removes his hands from their tight grip on the sink before they pull him towards a warm embrace. There’s a hand behind his head and another at his back. Tommy knows the embrace, it isn’t familiar, they’ve never hugged like this before - it doesn’t stop him from unleashing his fear against the man’s neck -, but he knows it.

Bobby doesn’t try to quiet him, simply keeps a tight hold on him, one hand running up and down Tommy’s spine, the other massaging the back of his neck.

“He’s been at the hospital so many times,” Bobby says when Tommy’s sobs quiet down, when his breathing is finally under control. “That I forget you haven’t been through this before.”

“I don’t think I want to again,” Tommy’s voice is rough and he clears his throat as he slowly disengages from the hug. “Seeing him like that, I-I thought he was dead, I-”

“Yeah,” Bobby nods and in his eyes, Tommy sees understanding, sees a person who saw exactly what Tommy did. Who’s probably had to see it a few times before. “But he’s a fighter.”

Tommy nods, wiping his tears. He knew Evan was a fighter, he reminded himself of that as he waited for news in the waiting room. It didn’t stop him from imagining the worst case scenario.

“I thought you left,” Bobby says after a moment, head tilting to catch Tommy’s gaze but he refuses, looking towards the bathroom corner instead. “Hen and Chim said you got up and left.”

“I almost did.”

Bobby nods as if he knows, as if he really knows. “It would’ve been easier if you had.”

“He doesn’t need me here, he doesn’t want me here,” Tommy says and hates how small his voice sounds, hates that he deserves to feel this way, hates that it’s true. “He has all of you and I’m n-”

“He asked about you,” Bobby interrupts him and Tommy inhales sharply. “He said he heard you calling for him, asked where you were.”

Tommy tries to find the lie in Bobby’s eyes. He doesn’t, never thought the man would lie about something like this. Tommy shakes his head, his heart pounding in his chest, refusing the truth, desperately holding onto the lie. “No, no, h-he-”

Bobby’s hand finds the side of his face, forcing Tommy to look at him. He sees the fear reflected in the older man’s face, knows that seeing Evan like that was just as hard for him as it was for Tommy. 

“He’s been asking for you, Tommy,” Bobby repeats, forcing him to believe the words. “You have a decision to make now. You can either go through those glass doors and I’ll tell Buck that he imagined hearing you,” The tone and frown on his former Captain’s face tells him exactly what he thinks about that plan. “Or you go into that room and you explain yourself, you make it right because Buck hasn’t been himself since you two broke up.”

“Neither have I.” Tommy confesses, a barely there whisper. 

“So,” Bobby takes a step back, looks at him with subtle scrutiny. “What’s your choice?”

Tommy could leave. He could go out those doors and out of Evan’s life for good. 

He had done it before, hadn't he? He had left Evan in his loft, a pained expression on his face. He had ignored how each step away from Evan ached and burned him from the inside. He had done it to free Evan, to let him explore the world, to let him find something, someone, better than Tommy. Because Evan was sunshine and, at best, Tommy was a cloudy day.

And yet, as he thought of the last two months, of the pain, the heartache, the sleepless nights, the crappy coffee, he knew. Tommy couldn’t handle another lifetime of what he only had a taste of. He couldn’t handle a lifetime of pain, of heartache, of sleepless nights, of crappy coffee. Not when he finally tasted the sweetness of cinnamon-flavoured coffee, of warm nights with Evan’s weight on top of him, of a chest full of love, of sunshine. 

He loved him. He loves him still. 

And maybe Evan wouldn’t take him back, that would have to be okay. Because, Tommy knew, Evan was one of a kind, he was everything, and he’d rather have him in his life just a little than nothing at all.

---

Tommy hears the beeping of the Holter monitor before he walks through the open door. Evan is sitting up in the hospital bed, bandages covering one side of his forehead almost covering left eye, birthmark hidden. His arm is in a sling and he can see the bulk of bandages wrapped around his torso under the hospital gown. 

Once he notices Tommy’s silent presence, his bright blue eyes land on him and Tommy feels like he can breathe again and like there is no oxygen in the room. What a ridiculous notion.

“I thought I had imagined it,” Evan confesses, his tone unreadable and that was unnatural - he was usually so expressive. “I thought Bobby was about to come in and tell me that I imagined your voice after the face he pulled.”

“Y-You were caught in a gas line explosion,” Tommy clears his voice, hates how professional his voice sounds, impersonal, he never spoke to Evan this way. “I was already at the scene, you got crushed under a van after the ground caved under your car.”

Evan nods, his eyes never leaving Tommy. He feels exposed to the intense gaze of the younger man, he wants to hide, wants him to see it all, see the things Tommy can’t say.

“Eddie told me you were the one to know I was under there.”

Evan knows. Tommy is sure Evan knows exactly what happened, knows what went through his brain during the whole thing but he wants Tommy to say it. It’s almost cruel, it’s actually genius.

“I saw your bumper sticker,” Tommy explains and Evan smiles, that soft smile he would have when Tommy made him breakfast in bed, when Tommy would kiss his birthmark. He can’t kiss his birthmark now. 

“I felt it,” Tommy confesses and Evan stills. He can be brave. “I was at the scene and I saw the Jeep and I-I felt something was wrong. The ground caved in and I felt it,” Tommy takes a deep breath and he really thought he didn’t have any more tears. “When the 118 appeared and you weren’t there, I knew.”

“Eddie said you jumped in without a harness,” Evan admits and Tommy wonders how Bobby would have ever been able to hide Tommy’s presence when Eddie had already made it impossible. “Y-you shouldn’t have done that.”

Tommy takes a few steps towards the bed, standing at the foot of it, right next to Evan’s left foot. “I couldn’t have stopped myself even if I wanted to,” He felt ripped open. He knew that if he wanted to stop the pain, he would have to fight for this, for them. 

“And I didn’t want to. If I could, I would have swapped places with you in the blink of an eye. Bu-Evan,” And god, it felt right to call him that to his face again. Evan seemed to think so too. “I love you.” It was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, and it could end up badly but he had said it. He had finally said the words that for the last four months of their relationship had been begging and fighting to get out even if it was way too soon then.

The Holter monitor beeps faster at Tommy’s confession and Evan sighs in annoyance. He wants to laugh, wants to tease Evan for not being able to hide the way his heart reacts to his confession but he can’t, it’s too important to rely on the beeps of a machine.

“I have been having shit coffee for the past two months.”

Tommy lets out a startled laugh at Evan’s confession, even as his heart tightens in anxiety. He scratches the back of his neck as he nods. “So have I.”

“Tommy,” Evan calls and he looks up at the man he loves. His eyes are wide and he looks overwhelmed and Tommy is regretting his confession - not what he said, just the timing. “I-I thought I had to be this perfect person to be with you, to be as perfect as you-”

Tommy shakes his head, trying to push away the memory of the conversation they had in the loft. “Evan, I-”

“No, please, let me,” Evan interrupts and Tommy takes a deep steadying breath before he nods. He prepares himself. “I thought I had to be perfect but you never saw me as perfect and I think finding out about Abby made me realise how you aren’t perfect either.”

Tommy crosses his arms, holds himself together.

“But you never actually tried to be perfect for me either,” Evan continues and groans in frustration. “I don’t know if I’m making sense and I really don’t want to say the wrong thing again,” Tommy raises his eyebrow and Evan lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “Tommy, I told you I admired you.”

Tommy mirrors his laugh, remembering how that word felt like a stab to the gut. “Yeah, that was…yeah.”

“When what I should have told you was that I can see a future with you,” Evan explains and Tommy turns sharply to him, to his soft smile and bright eyes. “That your happiness is just as important to me as mine, that your concerns are my concerns, that I think about you when you’re not around.”

Tommy’s vision blurs and he blinks his eyes to clear them. “Evan-”

“Josh asked me if I loved you the day we…talked,” Evan continues and his hand twitches. 

Tommy can still remember the blood dripping from his fingertips and holds his hand to try and stop those visions. Evan smiles and grips his hand back and that brings back memories of their hands clasped together as they walked, as they slept, as they relaxed. It slowly extinguishes the bad memories.

“He did?”

Evan nods and his thumb rubs over Tommy’s knuckles. God, it feels good.

“I freaked out when he asked,” He lets out that guilty laugh again and Tommy frowns. “And I just realised that all the things he asked me instead just spelled out how down bad I was for you,” Their eyes meet and Tommy takes in the soft, happy smile on Evan’s face. “How in love with you I am.”

Tommy tries to keep his trembling to a minimum as his free hand cups Evan’s cheek. He rubs his thumb slowly, a barely-there movement, on his cheek and it catches on Evan’s bottom lip. His lips part and Tommy’s hold on Evan’s face tightens. He forces himself to take a deep breath, to hold back.

“Evan, I don’t need you to be perfect, I just need you to be you, that’s who I fell for,” Tommy says and watches as Evan’s eyes shine with unshed tears, he nods.

“I never wanted you to be perfect, Tommy, I just wanted the man who made fake mouth static at the fire chief,” Evan grins and Tommy lets out a watery laugh. “The man who watched me maim my best friend and still decided to kiss me, the man who made me happier than I’ve been in a long time.” 

Tommy was done holding back, he would break apart if he held back another minute longer. He steps closer to the bed and watches as Evan’s eyes spark as he tips his head up, expecting the kiss and Tommy grins.

“I love you so much.” Tommy whispers, face inches from Evan’s.

They still have a lot to talk about. A past to share, expectations, desires, boundaries, all of that. And they will. They will talk and come out stronger than ever. They will talk over perfect coffee and share cinnamon-flavoured kisses when they’re done. 

They will never have crappy coffee again.

“I love you too.” Evan whispers back.

And maybe cinnamon-flavoured aren’t as sweet as love-declaration kisses but who says they can’t have both?