#I’m YEARNING for a gf and that means I have to make the first move

[kissmefriendly]

You know how you often see wlw talking about being intimidated by the big pretty lady they fancy but are to scared to talk to? Well I thought I did too. But three separate women have told me to my face that they’d be too scared to talk to me and never would have if I hadn’t spoken to them first. Guys. I AM the big intimidating lesbian. This isn’t good! I don’t have social skills, I don’t have charisma, I just throw myself into situations and pray for the best! But y’all seem to think that reads as confidence??? Is this why I’m single?!

What are you supposed to do in this situation???

[passanima]

tag from foot2rue is gay, here’s the receipt, season 3

1/ gabriel spend time with his girlfriend and guess who’s mad about it? the whole team is upset because he has less time to train now; but the first to react and who feel the strongest about it is still tag

2/ BEN IS BACK (dude tag had a visible crush on in s1) and he’s the only one that looks happy about it and they break away from the rest of the group to talk one on one, ben listening to tag’s problems and offering advices. bonus points because tag doesn’t ask any of his teammates for advices (not his bestie or his girlfriend)

3/ they bond over them both being the captain of their teams, the difficulties in the responsability... and tag reacts a bit too strongly when ben says he has to go home now, asking (sounding way too desperate, boy, come on) him to stay a bit longer. the WHOLE vibe when they were talking alone felt incredibly soft from tag’s side and you could explain it as just nostalgia and being happy to see a friend after a long time... expect they weren’t friends but rivals! and ben clearly doesn’t feel the same way i’m so embarrassed for tag

4/ his BEST FRIEND notice how sullen he’s been in the 2 hours since ben left... this boy is yearning for real

5/ ben replace one of their players in a match but because the rest of the team hates him it goes poorly (hmmm sounds familiar) then they hear a rumor that he’s the one behind tag’s accident and they all get mad at him, not giving him time to explain... expect tag. who refuse to believe it and puts his faith in ben. he was, of course, right about that, but in this situation he had no reason to believe ben (the guy has a really bad reputation) yet didn’t hesitate A SECOND wow... that sure is something

6/ the trutst at least is reciprocal because when tag, in the middle of the match, orders ben to do something, he just nods and do so without the need for an explanation or getting annoyed (like some of the other players) and i didn’t expect it as they’re both captains and so could butthead about who’s in charge and ben having a strong personality... it was nice. THEN ben gives advice on how to play and this time it’s tag who decide to put his pride aside as captain and follow him. you see slight hesitation on his face but he does it anyway. IT’S HUGE idk what to tell you, tag can be really stubborn in his bad decisions and gets mad really fast when things don’t go his way so wow again!

7/ listen... i can’t even explain this one cause you need the visuals but. tag trust ben with an insane move, where ben could easily let go at the worst time and hurt him. and he does so while SMILING. not a once of doubt for this boy in his mind. HIS EX-NEMESIS. there would be no story without weirdly earnest 13 y/o gay boys, i’m emotional over this (and laughing cause it was an incredible visual; it’s at the end of ep 4 ig you’re curious about it)

8/ someone is rude to tag’s gf and he doesn’t react to it, even when she’s visibly upset and leave the room because of this, he just ignores her

9/ gabriel gets an opportunity, education wise, that means he will leave the team at the start of next year. and tag is not doing well. the rest of the team is cheering on gab, while tag exit the scene looking all sad... and emotional music starts playing while he looks on the horizon... next a flashback of their moments together the two of them... and tag cries all alone

it makes sense because they’ve known each other their whole life(?)(or most) and are very close but damn. in comparizon gabriel isn’t at all bothered, due to being more rational (this does not mean they won’t see each other again) and riding the high of such big news. really makes you feel for tag

anyway, back on gay reading; it gives tag another reason to be more heartborken over this compared to gab

10/ HE FEELS SO BAD that he has no motivation to play the tournament and even SAYS SO openly to his teammates, i quote “without gabriel there’s no point”. there have been times when other players were at ricks of leaving the team and while annoyed, tag never reacted this badly to it before

holy shit he’s crying in front of everyone this time... they were trying to comfort him with “people leave sometimes, then they come back” and “you should be happy for him as his bestie” but it had the opposite effect on making tag feel like he’s being a shitty friend and he cannot hold back his tears... everyone is shocked of seeing him like this

11/ wasn’t gonna note this one cause it’s not that serious but then shit kept happening. this ep has tag being sick and he elects jeremy as his replacement (as team captain) which makes everyone go “uuuh” cause jeremy is so not made for the post. he fucks it up, of course, and ends up all alone until tag gets better. the team complains about him and tag is the only one who stays behind him the whole time (a bit like with ben... hmm)(tag sure easily relate to the type of guys who are in constant danger of being rejected). the “not serious” part is that at some point jeremy come to tag about the whole situation and they stare at each other smiling while using language that, in french, sounds very romantic (even if the context isn’t)(jeremy “t’es pas mal” tag “t’es pas mal non plus”)(literal “you’re not bad” context being the sport + social thing BUT the very common use of this phrase means finding someone attractive, and i laughed because... a second later tag is on his knees in front of jeremy, his hands on the boy legs. the body language and double meaning is really intense for a scene that should be just “i got your back” like what am i supposed to do with this?)

12/ jeremy complains about his relationship with samira for 2 seconds and tag first reaction is to shut him up with “that’s none of my buisness” which is weird for him as he’s usually there for his friends and chill about romance talk... well, when he’s not interested in the dude talking about it, that is

[4stars-uswnt]

My Muse, My Valentine [Christen Press x Reader]

requested by anon: Not sure if you’re accepting any request but can you write a cp x photographer gf where her gf surprised her at man u, like her gf secretly transfer there to be with cp. Thanks

A/N: please ignore some of the inconsistencies this story has with reality :) but anyways... hope you enjoy and have a happy Valentine’s Day (tomorrow) and remember it’s a day about LOVE, whether that be romantic, platonic, familial, or self ❤️

“I’m gonna miss you,” you whine, as you watch your girlfriend pack her suitcase.

“I know, babe. I’m gonna miss you too, so much.” Christen leans down to quickly peck your lips, before continuing to fold her clothes.

You and Christen had been dating for almost three years now, having met after you’d photographed one of the USWNT’s matches. You instantly felt an attraction to the curly-haired forward, your camera always drifting towards her wherever she was on the pitch.

After you’d posted a couple of your photos on your Instagram, which Christen made a point to like and repost, you gathered up the courage to approach her after a game, and thus began your relationship.

With yours and Christen’s busy schedules, it was sometimes hard to find time for each other, but you made it work, sharing an apartment in Portland during the offseason and flying out for matches when you could. But being a sports photographer did have its benefits, as your work often led you to spending more time with your girlfriend and admiring her speed down the field and score goals.

But now, with the pandemic, as the NWSL was struggling to field games,  you found yourself with little work. Christen herself was not quite satisfied with the league’s plan for the season, so when Tobin proposed the idea of going to the WSL, she desperately wanted to, yearning to get back on the pitch.

At first, when Christen approached you with the subject, you immediately opposed, not wanting to be so far from your girlfriend for such a long amount of time. Additionally, with COVID, it would be nearly, if not completely, impossible for you to visit. But after a blowout fight and discussing it further, you realized that this is what would be best for Christen and her career.

“Do you have to go?” You pout, sitting up and moving to the end of the bed.

“You know I do, (Y/N/N).” Christen playfully rolls her eyes.

“Humph.”

“Babe, come on, don’t make me feel worse about leaving you.”

“Then don’t,” you quip, grabbing your girlfriend by the waist, pulling her down on the bed with you.

“Babe!” Christen squeals, as you blow raspberries into her skin.

You lift your head from the crook of her neck, your eyes locking with hers. “I know that you have to go,” you admit seriously. “Doesn’t mean I like it, but I know that this is what’s best for your career.”

“Thank you, (Y/N),” she says earnestly, giving you a small smile. “We’ll text and FaceTime everyday.”

“I’m holding you to that.” You cup her face and bring her in for a kiss, savoring the feeling of her soft lips on yours. “I also know that you’re gonna kill it over there in Manchester. The WSL isn’t gonna know what hit them.”

Christen ducks her bashfully, a small blush arising on her cheeks. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course, Chris. I love you, too.”

“Good.” She gives you a quick peck, as she gets up from the bed. “Now, either quit bothering me or help me. My flight is early tomorrow morning, and I haven’t even finished packing.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

—————

It had been a little over five months since you’d dropped Christen off at the airport and she left for Manchester. Despite the constant texting and the nightly FaceTime calls, you couldn’t help but ache for your girlfriend. Without her, the apartment was lonelier and the bed felt bigger.

It had helped that your work had started back up, first with some freelance work and then with the NWSL fall series starting, which gave you something to do and kept you fairly busy.

Currently, you were sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping on a cup of coffee, as you edited some photos for the Thorns. Just as you were saving your work and closing Lightroom, about to shut your computer, a ping alerts a new email in your inbox.

Switching tabs, you notice the message is from an unfamiliar address, so you presume it’s a new client. You click and open it, your eyes widening, as you scan the email:

Ms. (Y/L/N),

I noticed your professional portfolio through many referrals, particularly your work form the World Cup. I am writing on behalf of the BBC News Media Centre, and we’re looking for an excellent sports photographer to join the team, specifically to cover the FA Women’s Super League and the Premier League.

Your experience is outstanding, adn your work speaks for itself. I think you’d be a great fit for this role, and I’d love to tell you more about it and hear more from you.

Would you like to set up a phone or Zoom call soon? If so, let me know when you’re available.

Best,

Charles Smith

Director of Media Relations at BBC Sport

You quickly reread the email, and then reread it again, just to make sure you’re not dreaming. This was too good to be true. But you shake yourself out of your stupor and quickly type out a response to set up a phone call as soon as possible.

After hitting send, you shut your computer with excitement and throw your hands up in the air.

“Yes!” You exclaim into the empty apartment, as you throw your fist in the air and jump off the barstool.

Knowing you needed to distract yourself, otherwise you’d just be staring at your computer, eagerly awaiting the response, you decided to go on a run.

Jogging through the city, you think of your girlfriend and your potential reunion if this job offer worked out. You decided that if you did in fact take this position, you’d surprise Christen at one of her matches, hopefully one that you’d be able to photograph.

As soon as you arrive back in your apartment, you make a beeline for your laptop. You anxiously open your inbox and beam when you see Charles had replied to set up a Zoom call at 9:30 tomorrow morning. You excitedly type out pleasantries, telling him you’re looking forward to it.

For the rest of the afternoon, you were in an increasingly good mood. So later that evening, when Christen called you for your routine FaceTime, she could tell something was up.

“Why do you keep smiling like that?”

“Can I not be happy to talk to my girlfriend?” You tease, a huge grin plastered onto your face.

“You can,” Christen trails off, not quite believing you. “But you have the weird giddy look you get when something’s up?”

“Nothing’s up. Just had a good day,” you shrug nonchalantly.

“Okay,” the forward accepts, still eyeing you suspiciously. “Anyways, you know She Believes is in a couple weeks, are you working the tournament?”

“Yup,” you nod and make a mental note to mention that to Charles tomorrow.

The two of you continue updating each other, chatting about topics ranging from what you had for breakfast that day to re-inc’s upcoming drop.

“Alright,” Christen yawns. “I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

You check your phone and see it’s 5:37 pm, meaning it’s almost midnight in Manchester.

“Okay,” your eyes softening at the sight of your sleepy girlfriend. “Good night, Chris. I love you.”

“Love you, too, babe. G’night.”

After ending the call and shutting your laptop, you head into the kitchen to make some dinner for yourself, getting on with your evening.

—————

The next morning, you anxiously await for Charles to begin the Zoom call, nervously bouncing your knee and biting your lip.

“Hi, (Y/N),” Charles greets, his face appearing on your screen.

“Good morning. Or rather good afternoon?” You correct with a light chuckle, to which he reciprocates.

“Well, as you know from my email, we are looking for a photographer to join our team, and from many referrals, you seem to be a very good candidate,

“So, I was thinking maybe we could look at your portfolio really quickly and then hash out the logistics to see if this is something that could work out.”

“Sounds good,” you agree, as you pull up some of your best pictures and share your screen.

The two of you look through your photos, many from the 2019 World Cup, some of the Olympics, and a few from random NWSL games.

“Well, (Y/N), your work is quite impressive. If you’re ready, and you’re seriously interested in this position, we can talk specifics, scheduling, all that good stuff,” Charles offers.

“I’m definitely interested, but can I just preface by saying that my girlfriend is a major part of this decision, so depending on what she wants to do at the end of the season will impact my contract.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows, clearly not expecting your candor. “Your girlfriend plays in the WSL?”

“Yeah, well, technically only for this season. Her contract is up in May,” you explain.  

“(Y/N), to be completely frank, we’re looking to hire because a couple of our photographers had some personal issues due to COVID and had to leave mid-season,” Charles reveals. “So if it turns out that your girlfriend wants to go back to the NWSL, then we can work that out. And if she wants to stay, and you end up liking it here and you fit in well, we can also work that out. We’re pretty flexible.”

You sigh in relief, giving him a small smile. “Wow, thank you so much. So what would my contract look like?”

“Well, we can sign you to three month contract with the option for extension,” he offers, as you nod along enthusiastically.

“That sounds great,” you exclaim, beaming. “And just to let you know, I’ve already signed on to work the She Believes tournament from the 18th to the 21st.”

“That actually aligns with the WSL’s international break, and there are a couple Premier League matches that weekend, but I think we can manage, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”

“You guys are too kind and so flexible. I really appreciate it so much,” you say earnestly.

“It’s really just us being desperate for a good photographer,” Charles jokes.

“Either way, I’m grateful for this opportunity.”

“We’re excited for you to join our team,” he reciprocates. “So, in terms of when you’ll begin, I honestly would like you to come over as soon as possible so that you can get settled and get acclimated.”

“I am honestly ready to start whenever you’ll have me.”

“How about next week? The Manchester Derby is on Friday, and honestly, given your portfolio, I’d love you to photograph that match,” the British man admits.

“That’s perfect!” You were in complete awe of how perfectly everything was working out. Photographing a Man United match as your first job meant you could surprise Christen, maybe as an early Valentine’s gift.

“Great,” Charles smiles.

The two of you discuss and finalize your contract and the logistics of you starting the job. Once everything’s settled and you each have the information you need, you wrap up the call.

“Well, thank you so much, Charles, for this offer, and I can’t wait to see you next Tuesday.”

“I can’t wait to work with you and meet you. See you next week. Cheers.”

After ending the Zoom call, you begin to make a COVID test appointment, book your flight, and arrange your hotel room for the few days that Christen doesn’t know you’re there, preparing yourself for moving across the world.

—————

After landing in London, getting settled into your hotel, and meeting with the BBC team and the other photographers, you were now on your way to the Manchester Derby.

In the back of the black cab, you pull out your phone to text a good luck text to Christen.

It was difficult to keep your surprise a secret, especially when you were actually in England, because it was much more difficult to FaceTime without her noticing your change in setting. You had to make up the excuse that you were swarmed with editing and preparing for the upcoming Thorns trainings.

As you pull up to the Academy Stadium, you hear your phone ding.

Chris ❤️

Thanks babe. Miss and love you 😘

You quickly type out a response, before heading into the building.

(Y/N/N) 💗

Love you too. I miss u too but go kick butt.

The match was exhilarating. Not only were you a sports photographer, but you were also a huge fan of the game, enjoying a good game when you see one.

You watched in awe, the level and style of play significantly different from than NWSL. While snapping hundreds of photos of both teams, your camera would always somehow land back on your girlfriend.

Your heart ached for the curly-haired forward, as you missed her dearly. Until you saw her back on the pitch, you hadn’t really realized that you missed watching her play the game that she’d mastered, her movements around the pitch and on the ball effortless and elegant.

As the ref blew the whistle, signaling the end of the half, you scroll through some of the photos you’d taken, deleting some of the blurry and unfocussed ones.

A smile immediately forms on your face when you see a picture of Christen during warmups with a huge grin on her face. You spend all of halftime editing said photo and putting together an Instagram post for your girlfriend.

About fifteen minutes later, the teams take the pitch and you go back to doing your job. Throughout the second half, you could tell that Christen was getting increasingly frustrated, her team getting down 3-0 with only about five minutes left.

You watch as the players high five and hug each other, and you want nothing more than to run onto the field to be with your girlfriend, but you had a plan to stick to.

As the team goes back into the locker room, you pull out your phone to post a photo on Instagram and then you shoot a quick text to Tobin:

(Y/N)🤓:

toby go check out my ig post :))

Back in the Man United locker room, after Casey went through her post match speech, Tobin checks her phone and sees a text from you. The injured forward playfully rolls her eyes at your message but follows your directions.

Upon opening the social media app, Tobin raises her eyebrows, her eyes widening. She glances across the room to see if her best friend had seen your post, but Christen was minding her own business, changing into sweats after her shower.

“Chris!” The older forward calls over to the other woman. “Have you seen your girlfriend’s Instagram post?”

Christen furrows her brows in confusion. “What? No, what is it?”

Tobin waves her friend over and shows her the post:

Liked by mrapinoe, ashlynharris24, and 638,231 others

yourusername: My muse, my valentine.

“As I sat and looked at her

and the rolling hills she sat upon

I thought,

what amazing luck I have

that the world had created

such beautiful things

and given me the eyes to see them.”

- atticus

tagged: christenpress

- - - - -

mrapinoe: Stunning pictures, (Y/N). Love you guys 💖

alikrieger: These photos are 🔥🔥🔥🔥

alexmorgan13: love this 😍😍

cdunn19: Beautiful!

glennondoyle: Love love love love this!!

ashlynharris24: Holy shit! Are you in Manchester????

↳lavellerose: Was this today??

↳sammymewyy: Oh my gosh it was!

↳kellyohara: Valentine’s Day surprise for Pressy?? 👀

Christen zooms in on the photo in the center, her eyes widening when she realizes that it is from today’s match.

“How did she get that picture?”

Tobin mentally slaps her forehead at her friend’s denseness. “Knowing (Y/N), she probably took it.”

“But that’s impossible. She’s in the States,” Christen states and shakes her head, dumbfounded.

“Actually,” you speak up, stepping into the locker room, deciding to make your presence known. “I’m right here.”

“(Y/N)?” Your girlfriend looks up at you, her mind in a state of shock.

“Hey, love,” you greet shyly.

Once her mind caught up with reality, Christen runs and jumps into your body, kissing you passionately but briefly and wrapping you into a bone crushing hug.

“I can’t believe your here,” she whispers into your neck. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, babe, so much.”

Unwrapping herself from the hug, Christen stares at you in awe. “What… how are you here?”

“We can talk about that later,” you give her another quick kiss. “But right now, I just wanna spend time with you. Maybe we can grab some dinner? You can show me around Manchester, considering I’m gonna be spending a lot of time here.”

Your girlfriend looks at you puzzled, but you just give her a wink with a small smirk on your face.

“Well, c’mon lets get out of here.”

—————

Back at Christen’s apartment, the two of you sit down for a nice and casual, but romantic, dinner you’d prepared along with a bottle of red wine.

After catching up, the forward finally decides to address the elephant in the room. “So how are you here? What’s going on, (Y/N/N)? You said earlier that you’d be spending a lot of time in Manchester, what does that mean? I’m so confused. Not that I’m grateful that you’re here right now and that I get to see you, but I thought you were working She Believes, and—“

“Chris,” you cut off your girlfriend’s endearing rambling. “Babe, you’re rambling.”

“Sorry,” she blushes, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“I got a job with BBC Sport till the end of the season,” you answer her parade of questions.

“Does that mean what I think it does?”

You nod, while taking a sip of your water. “It means I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

Not having the adequate words to express her joy and excitement, Christen gets up from her chair, walks over to sit in your lap, and connects you lips for a searing kiss.

“I can’t believe you,” she breathes, rubbing her nose against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you quickly peck her lips while rubbing circles on her hip. “But as much as I love you and all this romance, we gotta get going soon.”

Your girlfriend tilts her head in confusion.

“Do the words ‘She Believes’ ring a bell?” You tease. “If I remember correctly, our flight leaves in a couple hours.”

“You’re coming with me?” Christen asks, her brain trying to wrap around the fact that her girlfriend, who she hadn’t seen in almost five months, would now be living with her in England and flying back to the States with her for the next week.

“Of course, Chris,” you give her a cheeky smile, along with a kiss to her nose, as you quote a book Becky had convinced the whole team to read. “You should know by now that I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world.”

[jd-loves-fiction]

Hey! If you’re taking requests can I get a Frankie Morales x reader where they’re both friends and has crushes on one another but don’t say anything. Then Santi invites everyone (with Tom? Up to you) to a bar and Frankie invites his gf and reader is crushed abt it. Tons of angst but you can end in fluff or keep at angst. Thanks in advance if you write this! :)

🌙 the yearning 🥺 hope you like it :))

[22:09] “Look who it is! My favorite girl.”

“Knowing you, I have a hard time believing that, Santi.” You teased as you walked through the doors and towards the bar, receiving various amused chuckles from the men that had heard you while the accused shook his head.

You immediately asked for a drink as you sat beside Benny who smiled at you as he patted you on the back.

“Been awhile.” Tom commented, gaining your attention as he took a sip from his beer. “Sure has. How’re the girls?”

“Fine. Tess says she misses you. Should come and visit sometime.” He speaks calmly, smiling at the mention of his daughter while you do the same out of fondness for the young girl.

“I will. Soon. Just been kind of busy lately.” Tom squeezed your shoulder as a sign that he understood. You finally began to take in the space around you.

It was a quiet night at the local bar Pope had picked out, only a couple of lovebirds and a few teens (that probably shouldn't be in there but the place sold food too, so who knew), plus William, Benny and his newest fixation, which you promptly moved to greet as they had sat themselves in front of the TV playing a random MMA match. Of course.

You greeted the brothers with the usual banter, and the new lady politely, though you did tease her about picking Benny just a little. To keep her on her toes and to push his bottoms just a little. At least William seemed amused.

You then moved to Pope himself, who seemed to be staring off into space, not jumping but moving his gaze quickly to the one that had given him a forceful pat on the back, you.

You smirked a his lost expression for a moment, to which he chuckled while blinking the haze away from his eyes. “Didn't know you had an interest in interior design."

"I don't."

"Then, what's so enthralling about that wall, over there?" Your teasing gets a sigh out of the absentminded man before he shakes his head, "Nothing."

"By the way, is Frankie ever gonna show up?" You’d never really tried to be subtle about your not-so-little crush on Frankie, so you figure there’s no use trying to hide it now. Knowing that Pope definitely knows what’s up by the glint in his eye.

“He said he would. Also said he’d be bringing a plus one.” You furrow your brow at the added comment but don't think much more on it.

It's not long before the man himself steps through the door, eliciting excited shouts from the men in the bar waiting for him. You miss the look Santiago shoots you as you turn around to look at Frankie... And his plus one.

He walks in first, followed by a woman you don't recognize, understandingly embarrassed by the weight of all the interested gazes suddenly on her.

You look down, back at your drink, hoping she didn't catch the dark expression that passed over your features. Jealousy, heartbreak, and a cocktail of something else that suffocates you and makes your stomach churn.

They come up to you and Santi once they finish greeting the other guys. "Hey, how’s it going?” Frankie asks amicably as he reaches you, patting Pope on the back until he lets go of his beer to give the older man a warm hug. He then does the same to you. You only hope he doesn't notice your stiffness. “Who’s the pretty lady?”

“This is Vanessa. She works with me.” He says simply with a painfully soft smile while motioning towards her. She smiles beautifully bright while waving at the two of you at the bar. It makes you feel faintly sick. Which then makes you feel guilty.

You try your best to get through your heartbreak without popping off to the bathroom to cry it out, knowing your friends would somehow notice something was wrong and you'd have no way of hiding it from them. But it hurts. It aches deeply. And such pain is hard to hide.

You're sure Frankie notices, knowing you as well as he does.

Your companions get essentially shit faced incredibly quickly, which makes them get louder and less aware of their surroundings, so you use this opportunity to bid them all farewell and attempt to slip out the door without too many questions. Attempt.

You've had enough of watching what you once thought could be the love of your life be all lovey-dovey with Vanessa. So with your heart in your hands while holding back the tears, you slip out.

It's only an attempt because Frankie himself, of course, the cause of all this, calls out to you as you're walking out.

"You alright?" He asks, those soft brown eyes wide with concern that warmed your still broken heart.

"I'm fine, Frankie, just tired. It's been a long day." You chuckle awkwardly, lying through your teeth. It had actually been a fantastic day. You were excited to meet up with your friends after getting out of work early. So a pretty fantastic day overall, compared to the usual.

"I know you're lying." He said simply, sighing and looking away as if to gather his thoughts. "And I saw the way you looked at Vanessa. Are you jealous?"

Of course Frankie, the group mom, would be able to tell you were lying. And notice your envy, on top of that.

The alcohol cursing through your veins takes the wheel finally, "Yes, I am." you admit. Frankie's eyes soften even further, if possible, and those nasty feelings of heartbreak and assumed rejection come swirling back around in your gut and all you really want right now is one of Frankie's bear hugs. The type that make you feel unbelievably safe and comfortable and warm, but most of all, protected, so neither your body nor your heart can be damaged. Except he's the one causing the damage this time.

"So, you have feelings for me." He states more to himself, to be sure this is real, while you roll your eyes, embarrassed and wishing you could just get to your car and book it out of there.

"I- You- You idiot." He exclaims almost fondly with wide, disbelieving eyes. He sighs at your confused expression, motioning wildly with his hands to make you understand the stupidity of the situation. "I've had feelings for you for years!"

"So have I!"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"Fair point." He chuckles, softly at first, but it's not long before he laughs at the situation with his whole chest, prompting you to do the same because of his contagious laugh.

"Then, Vanessa...?"

"Well, I kind of rushed head first into it, hoping to... Not think about you." Frankie rubs the back of his neck as he looks back to the bar. "Honestly, I'm sure we'd be better off as friends but, I had to try."

You nod understandingly, fiddling with your sleeves nervously, "So that means that we..."

"Need to go on a date asap? Yes, it does. I'll drive." Frankie jokes, glowing with happiness while holding onto your arms.

"No date, I'm too tired. And too drunk, but I will accept a ride home instead." You smile, also consumed by the excitement of very much requited love as you two laugh while getting in your car.

[sisterofleatherfrog]

Star Wars Kinktober day- 3

Prompt: Under-clothes bondage 

Fives x Sub! OC (AFAB)

Orla is another one of my OC’s that I sometimes play around with in my fandom daydreams. She’s very tall (think around 6’10), and her appearance is non-human (I’ll definitely have to elaborate on that in art form later), and she is Five’s big-titty goth gf. She has some self-confidence/worth issues, but Fives is literally so goddamn smitten. 

Some art as a sorry for missing day 4!

Tags: Bondage, collar, bf chooses gf’s clothes and dresses her, pre negotiated kink, safewords, cunnilingus, dirty talk, daddy kink

Words: 2440

🖤💜🖤

“Fives? Do- do you, could you help me?” Orla asked, a tremble present in her voice. They’d planned this outing the previous week, going out to a beer garden to have lunch and meet with a few of Five’s brothers and their significant others. She’d made friends with a few of the troopers and their partners and was definitely looking forward to having a few drinks with them. That wasn’t all though, after confirming the date and time Orla had got to thinking. They’d been playing around with a lot of things recently in the bedroom; the collection of ropes, binders, among other things in their special little place was a testament to that. They had yet to try and bring it out of the bedroom, but it had been teasing Orla’s mind all week, and maybe…

Footsteps came up to the ajar bedroom door and it swung as it opened, her lover’s head peaked in. “What’s the matter Meshla? The dress zipper stu-” Fives abruptly stopped as he saw her, kneeling nude in the middle of the bedroom with a several meter length of red rope before her. The door lightly knocked the wall as he came fully into the room and looked down at her from a few paces with no little interest in his eyes. “What’s all this then,?”

He didn’t sound like he was upset in any way and Orla felt confident in explaining: “Well, remember us speaking of trying more adventurous things?” Fives nodded, eyes shining with that impish edge she knew so well as they roved her lush body. She bit her lip, “I must confess I’ve been thinking more on it since these plans were made, and maybe… Could you tie me up, daddy? I want to be your good little slut wherever we go together.” She lowered her head, but still her eyes stayed on Fives where he looked down on her. 

For a moment he was quiet, seemingly stunned as everything, her nudity, the use of THAT word, and the begging all came together to short-circuit his mind. Before she could start to regret her decision though, he drew in a shaky breath and drew a hand down his face until the wide grin on his face was revealed to her. He shifted his weight, the movement catching her eye and bringing it down to his crotch where he was beginning to stir. “Shit meshla,” he breathed. “Do you mean it? Do you really want to do this with me?”

Orla nodded, a desperation that surprised her causing heat to lick throughout her abdomen and fill her head. Fives came and knelt before her, now looking up to her dark eyes, partially shadowed by her coal black hair. “I need your words Orla, I need to know you really want this and aren’t doing something just to please me. Maker, do I want you like this, but not at the expense of you being miserable.” The corner of his mouth lifted, revealing one perfect dimple. “I want this to be good for you too.” 

A different warmth suffused her, she knew he loved her, and the amount of care he always gave her made her feel like a princess. Leaning her head down into a keldabe with him, she smiled before moving her lips to brush over his tattoo and down to his ear. “I want this, daddy, I truly do. I want to be extra good for you.” Orla punctuated her words by sliding a hand over his thigh and up to cup the bulge at his crotch. Fives groaned and grabbed the both of her wrists to stop her hands from wandering any further.

“You win this one, and you’re the best girlfriend ever!” He punctuated his sentence with a quick smooch before dragging her to stand with him. “Turn around meshla and lift your hair, let's see about getting you into this.” He started by placing the rope around the back of her neck, making sure that even halves were on either side of her neck and going down her front. Coming around he gently but confidently gripped it, already knowing the alignment of loops and knots he had to do. Within the valley between her breasts he made one knot and left a kiss on her left breast, below he made another and gave her right breast the same treatment. Just above her belly button he made one more knot, then dropped to his knees and started to trail kisses down from there, taking a moment to dip his tongue into her belly button and making Orla giggle, before he went lower and transformed it into a gasp. Five’s tongue followed the curve of her lower abdomen, trailed along her upper thigh, before he pulled back, his right hand taking its place before moving in and parting her labia with two strong, skilled fingers. 

Fives looked into her intently, studying the configuration of sensitive flesh at her apex for a moment before coming forward to kiss her lips, making out with her slit as his tongue made love to her clit. She gasped down at him, hand coming to clutch at his shoulders and the top of his head, whatever she could reach to steady herself. He was- “Oh, Fives, right there love!” He moved deeper into her heat if that was even possible, both hands having moved to her ass cheeks to pull her closer. His lips were locked around her clit, alternating and simultaneously sucking and licking with that tongue of his, that said such alternatingly inflammatory and jesting words, skilled and silver now on her. Often he would move, delve into her, kiss along her thighs and tease, build her up to a wholly satisfying end. This was something else though, a hunger both desperate and wild, focused on one goal alone, tracing along that lone and narrow path with a single minded purpose. He went on, groaning into her and holding her still as she shivered writhed, her size making no difference in his ability to hold her right where he wanted with his strength. 

Orla’s breath was escaping her in gasps and high whines, keening her need to him and she was drawn further and further up that path by him, his desperation infecting her as well. Oh he wasn’t taking his time at all, but she was adoring this direct and needy side to him. Her legs were turning to rubber and Five’s hands slid into the curve below her ass to hold her even more firmly, surely leaving marks that would be seen there later. He kept licking and laving, latched on so firmly it was as if he was feeding from her all the while she fed off the pleasure she got from him, creating a self-sustaining organism in a perpetual state of bliss and ecstasy. She felt him tying a new knot and keened into the otherwise quiet air of the room, her head tilting back and chest arching as she felt it winding ever tighter within her womb. Tighter and tighter, lick by suck, she was on the edge and just had to stretch a little further-

With a wild cry she fell, the knot unwound with a blinding intensity and she shook as her cunt clenched over nothing again and again. Fives kept at her throughout her orgasm, firmly pressing his tongue to her as she danced against it in order to carry her down. When she was passing pleasure and entering into the territory of too much, Orla put a hand on his head and gently urged it away from her and he released with an obscene pop sound. He gazed up at her, eyebrows drawn down into an expression of yearning and his eyes shining as bright as her slick on his chin. The sight was enough to draw an honest whimper from her.

“There, there meshla, you’re alright,” he cooed, now rubbing her legs and sides in order to sooth her. “You did so well, coming for me like that all wet and sweet. I was so happy when you told me how much you wanted to try something public that I just couldn’t help myself. I love you so, so much my beautiful Orla. ‘Want you to always feel good.” He rambled against her lower stomach as he rested his forehead there, praise spilling out of him like water from a too full cup. They stayed like that for a little while until she felt like she had more control over her body, the shivering and shaking dying down with her leveling breath. Finally he lifted himself and stood, hands coming to rest against her lower back as he delicately pressed her to him. “Are you good? I didn’t mean to be too much, especially before we got somewhere to be.”

Orla smiled widely, “It wasn’t too much Fives, in fact it was very much appreciated.”

He smiled back, “Well that’s good, I’d hate to have to tell the boys we had to cancel because the pussy was just too good.”

She snorted, “Oh I’m sure you would, lover.” Suddenly feeling a little shy, she continued, “Now, can you please help me finish getting ready? I don’t think I can do all these knots and twists myself.”

He reached up to cup her cheek and draw her down for a quick kiss, “Oh meshla I’d be more than happy to assist. Though, after that, and this being your first time trying this, how about we put some panties on you so the rope won’t rub as much?” 

This man- “What pair should I wear then daddy?” always so considerate of her. 

His grin was downright feral as he looked at her before taking her hand and leading her over to her wardrobe and pulling out the proper drawer, said drawer full of a rainbow of lace, cotton, satin, and mesh. Orla loved fun panties and Fives took full advantage of that, loving whenever she would ask him to choose for her so that he could picture what lay under her clothes all day. She was partial to a few pairs, but he most always chose the pair he plucked from the bunch now, a royal and baby blue number dyed in a marble pattern with ‘Want some?’ written across the ass in aurebesh. He ducked down and she again steadied herself with his shoulders as he now lifted each of her legs to fit into the slip of fabric, before drawing them up to her hips and smoothing the hems.

Then, after checking with her once again, he returned to the previously forgotten rope and from the last left knot, drew the tailings down to her apex. Twisting the ropes together some so that they’d sit between her labia, he drew them between her spread legs and went to her back to draw it up to the initial loop at the back of her neck. Pulling so it was snug but not tight, he brought both halves to come out to her hands, “Hold onto these for me love.” She complied and he came back around the front of her, taking a moment to admire what he’d done already. “Oh, yeah, it’s all coming together.” Orla snorted and lightly slapped his chest, he raised an eyebrow, “Is that the sort of game you want to play right now?”

“Maybe later.” She teasingly promised and he grinned back at her, now looping the rope from under her arms and between the first and second knot, the rope turning back on each side to return behind her back the way it had come. He followed and looped each side around the lengths that ran up her spine before indicating she should hold the rope again. He did the same process between the second and third knot and around her back before bringing up what was left of the rope and tying it off on the third knot. He stepped back then, eyes roaming up and down the planes and curves of her body, now decorated with blue and tied off with red, like a present just for him. He looked for a long, long while.

“You know what to do if this gets to be too much and you want to stop, right?”

She nodded seriously, “Five taps to your thigh, or say ‘Zillo’.”

He smiled like the sun, “Now how are we going to cover all this up?”

“Oh I really don’t know daddy, maybe you could help me with that too?”

“Orla, I have no idea what I did to deserve you but I love you so much, and I mean that with my whole ass.” He confessed with all seriousness.

Laughing again, she pressed against him and leaned down to kiss his wonderful mouth. Breaking apart again they went to inspect her clothes hanging in the closet. He reached in and pulled out a black dress with a halter top and flowy skirt that would fall about halfway down her thighs. He grinned, “Feeling like being a little risky today as well by any chance?”

“Yes please my love!” Slipping it over her head, Fives did up the three clips that secured the neck. Leaving the last bit up to her, Orla found a top to layer over it to better obscure the bondage beneath, and finished it up with a traditional self-tying corset from her people, quickly done up by pulling the two cords to either side of her and tying them in front. Meanwhile, Fives had quickly gone to change his shirt and give his face a wipe, both having been soaked by her earlier. Returning in a casual purple button up with red stitching along the collar, he looked like a treasure to be found in her people’s queen's harem.

“Looking good lover.” She told him as she bent to pull on her boots, the three inch platforms bringing her height to a full foot above his own. 

“Quacta, stifling.” he simply responded. 

Walking towards the door he asked, “Are we all ready to go meshla?” he turned and she 

smiled shyly again, feeling a blush turning the purple shades in her skin darker.

“Maybe not quite?” she intoned, moving back to the closet she opened it and pushed aside a few of his shirts to reveal a certain rack of jewelry, consisting of leather collars, some with rings on them, others otherwise decorative. “Which one do you think I should wear out today, daddy?”

In the end, they were a little late getting to the beer gardens.

🖤💜🖤

Oh I really liked writing this one. I know so far all my works have been coming out early in the morning the day after they’re supposed to be posted but I am going to try and fix that! Like the Tup and Aurelie work on the 1st, I feel like this one may come back with a part 2 because I’m really vibing with these two (and I hope y’all are too just as much as I am). 

Kinktober works

Masterlist

[fukurodaze]

can i have (timeskip?) kuroo with a fem! s/o who is a sophisticated introvert that intimidates people because she doesn't smile or talk much but when she's with friends she's actually really nice, funny and outgoing, and she has really good fashion sense? (i'm sorry if this is too specific lmao you can ignore this i'm just yearning for kuroo HAHAHAHA)

this is so funny because this dynamic is literally THE cutest

so you know how kuroo works in pr right so this is The Office Romance Of The Century

the meeting <3

so kuroo works on the ninth floor and you work on the twentieth floor

though you guys work in different departments, you guys are both around the same age so you guys kind of have the same workloads because yall are still starting

different departments eventually do have different schedules, but as newbies you guys kind of follow one (1) basic timetable that is really just 9 to 5

one thing you never expected about the office: good ass food.... like you thought the bread at your school canteen was good? wait till you find the sandwiches on the fourth floor

and since you quite literally have no friends in this big ass building and there aren’t many co-workers who are your age you kind of hold onto the nice yakiniku sandwiches on the fourth floor

it gets rough in a new workplace for the first time ://

so the sandwiches become your routine - around 5-6pm, you’re coming down a whole sixteen floors otw home but also to get that nice thick yakiniku sandwich

guess who else comes? 

YA GUESSED IT!! UR FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE KUROO TETSUROU!!!

despite telling himself that he’s really easing into the work life well because his senpais tell him he’s smart, he really doesn’t know anyone

he also finds it weird asking his co-workers to drink as he feels like they should be the ones inviting him so he ends up just chillin it out with some surprisingly good sandwiches downstairs

he likes the chicken ones bc they’re just so nice n crispy yay

he kinda feels shit about it sometimes but thats just how it is huh... corporate work... no friends... and all the rest of his friends r like in other places... yeah

ay but at least he finds this cute girl ordering the same thing over and over again at the same time he’s there

he ignores it at first but you know the saying that the more you see someone the more likely they become more attractive in your eyes?

yeah... that’s kuroo @ u...

and usually he’s doesn’t really pay no mind to people who just do their own business

but your fits r just too cool for this workplace... like mans has been coming to work with suits and youre out here with some combo streetwear power suit... sometimes u wear the highest heels and sometimes you wear the chunkiest sneakers but still manage to look so sleek n sophisticated like 24/7

could it be... he finds you... attractive??? even though you don’t smile much?

kuroo doesn’t stall, so he just goes “i like your style”

my my... you love hearing that dont’cha

but u were like “thanks” 😐

he’s like sheesh

and as he’s about to leave you ask, “what department do you work in?”

kuroo does a double take and is like “um... PR...?” he literally looks over his shoulder to see if you’re talking to anyone else because yo... is this you showing interest???

spoiler alert this is the introduction to his chapter in your love life <3

look it’s not hard for kuroo to get along with quieter people because he used to be siiiiilent, and he’s also grown up with kenma, who was much more introverted throughout middle school and high school

god, you felt so comfortable

and he was SO hot.... WTF

but yeah you’re always like 😐 but make it chic because your fits r fire and your eyeliner SLAYS

this may or may not have turned into a little date at the bar nearby

yes the sandwiches are good but you know what’s even better? drinking some good food in tokyo as Official Employees of the Japanese Volleyball Association

this night was pretty flirty, what can u expect... compliment here, hand brush there, cute laughs n chuckles everywhere

hahaha when kuroo saw you laugh and get super talkative... is that a turn on or what... youre also like funny too??? oh cmon...

safe to say you said yes when he asked you out again, and he swears he would do anything to see you laugh again 🥰

and yes, he does see that laugh again. a lot of times, actually.

the relationship <3

first off: he likes seeing u all professional... good food 

second: him in a suit??? yessir. him making connections??? YESSIR

you guys end up hanging around a lot with each other at the office even when you’re busy. and yknow, since it’s the honeymoon phase, might as well sneak a kiss. or a lot of kisses.

people get so surprised when this happens at first, since theyre like... why r they both disappearing 24/7... they cant be going together bc hes... kuroo... and you’re... you... aren’t you guys are supposed to be DIFFERENT??

he always goes heart eyes for u even though it seems like you’re always shooting daggers at him from everyone else’s pov

eventually, as you two get more comfy with each other and spend more time, you find yourself at his place like 4 days out of 7... his place is closer to the office anyways so it’s just convenient especially when you’re busy with your department when kuroo isn’t, and it demands later nights and earlier mornings

when BOTH of you are busy... expect stress makeouts in the kitchen

the way yall would shower together not because of sexy vibes but because yall both overslept and literally have no time 😭

but that doesn’t mean yall dont enjoy it!! u think he’s hot, he thinks you’re hot, works well (you two still end up arriving late)

eventually people see how you guys walk to work together in the mornings a lot... and go home together a lot... and drink at bars together...

and they’re like holy fuck how did kuroo snatch her... like other than the fact that he’s hot... she literally doesn’t smile and is so scary

the sandwiches on floor four have become breakfast burritos because none of yall go home at 5 all that often anymore

but on a lucky day where destiny aligns itself with the stars and time and the volleyball league you’re lucky to get a yakiniku. or maybe chicken.

you guys influence each other, and it’s so funny seeing kuroo come in with some more colourful suits after you told him to experiment with colour

the other people at work r like: kuroo ur gf controls u

kuroo’s like yeah she’s like powerful huh 😏

you kind of laugh it all off, since now you have your own friends at work too, and so does kuroo

they surprisingly ask a lot about your relationship... and though you would like to brag about your very good boyfriend, you keep it pretty vague

you do like to talk about important days though, like anniversaries

but being with kuroo has genuinely made you more comfy in the workplace even though yall are in different departments

you love hearing kuroo’s stories about his co-workers, and you wondered if you could kind of have those kinds of relationships with your co-workers too

your closest co-workers have always been kind to you, albeit intimidated at first

but they’re great shopping buddies, great listeners, and great gossips <3

you normally wouldn’t care about gossip but it’s fun to laugh about sometimes when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s like “by the way... have you heard of [person A] doing ... ” on call

and you’re like oh yeah, actually i have

even he’s surprised at first because you seem like that cool introverted employee but you do have your fits of laughter and bouts of humour

you guys become more comfy with your jobs, and before you know it, a year has passed

you’ve moved in lol

kuroo’s just 100% heart eyes for u pls

the vibes you guys are as a couple?? immaculate. everyone looks at yall like holy fuck. opposites attract and it’s HOT

and it’s so good because you guys know each other so well, from personalities to bodies to work

when you’re on a low, he holds you close and tells you such sweet things, but makes sure to give you space

when he’s on a low, you make sure to talk to him to take him off of his thoughts, to reassure him

kuroo kind of realises he’s actually... like REALLY in love with you and it just hits him a week before christmas when he looks into his cupboard and hates how it’s so messy but ends up swooning 😭

so the next day LIKE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING he’s like “hi. im renting a car. and i am in love with you. do you wanna go on a christmas trip together?”

you don’t even react when he says that... it’s just two seconds of silence and then “okay. i’m in love with you too.”

he’s like “cool. cool.”

proceeds to smother ur lipstick when he kisses u right after work... 

but u love him anyway 🥰

and in that trip... just you two in a strange place together... with nobody else...

he sees you with him for a long, long time

and honestly, with the feeling of his hand in yours, you don’t think you’ll be going anywhere either.

[dubububbles]

SHINee scenario: their gf tugging on their clothes and mumbling they’re jealous

(i would like to ask for a request. shinee gf tugging on their clothes and mumbling they are jealous)

Requested by anon

- I was a bit lost on what to write for this one but I hope it’s at least similar to what you had in mind! ❤️

Onew:

When your boyfriend was swept up in dating rumors with another celebrity he had been working with it put a bit of a strain on your relationship, since you couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous and upset. 

Onew, on the other hand, didn’t think much of it, because he knew that it was just plain, groundless rumors that didn’t mean anything. But the fact that he was so calm about it would only increase your bad feeling. 

At one point you even thought about revealing your relationship just to stop people from linking him romantically with someone else. 

When you were over at his apartment you would stick close to his side and repeatedly tug at his hoodie to gain attention from him, which he didn’t refuse you. He found it cute and also wanted to make you feel better in any way that he could. 

“Is it weird that I am really jealous of that woman… even if it's just rumors.” you mumbled with a small sigh as you were hugging him. 

“I don’t know y/n, but I do know there’s no reason for you to feel jealous, since I love you more than anything.” 

Although you still felt a bit worried about the whole ordeal his comforting words would put you at ease. 

Jonghyun: 

One evening Jonghyun returned home to your shared apartment quite late, so by the time he joined you in bed you were already asleep. He carefully brought you into his embrace with a fond sigh and planned to drift off into sleep too but opened his eyes again when you mumbled something inaudible. 

“Did you say something y/n?”

“I don’t like it…” you repeated in a faith mumble and also tugged gently at the front of his shirt. It definitely confused him, as he had no idea what you were referring to. 

“Hm? What don’t you like?” 

“You always work with other women... beautiful women.” you continued and continued to tug at his shirt in your somewhat, half-asleep state. “It makes me jealous.” 

Jonghyun instantly perked up at those words and couldn’t help but smile fondly to himself and find you cute. 

“Oh really? What part makes you jealous?” He would continue to question you and chuckle softly at your honest responses.

The next morning you wouldn’t really remember what you had told him but he would remind you as a way to subtly tease you but also reassure you that there was nothing to be jealous about.

Key:

The fact that your boyfriend was a social butterfly and had a lot of female friends caused you to feel jealous from time to time. Especially when he collaborated or generally spent a lot of time talking or hanging out with them. 

You weren’t really fond of the fact that it made you jealous, though, since you knew it was only your own insecurities and not that you were actually doubting him in any way. 

Most of the time, you would try and handle those bad thoughts on your own or push them to the back of your mind but at times they would still appear. 

They did so one evening when the two of you were supposed to watch a movie together but your boyfriend was too busy on the phone, having a long conversation with one of the friends in question. 

It made you sulk and then tug at his sleeve to gain his attention and get him to hang up so that he could spend time with you. 

“Beom... “ you continued to tug until he eventually hung up and then tugged your arm in return to bring you closer. 

It didn’t slip past his notice that you were jealous so he would apologize with a kiss and let you know that the only person who was constantly on his mind day and night, was you. 

Minho:

Minho was undoubtedly a very sweet and caring boyfriend and the two of you had a steady and loving relationship. 

There was little reason for you to ever doubt him or have anything to be jealous of. However, you still found yourself taken over by that feeling whenever other female celebrities in the industry expressed awe of his looks or named him as their ideal type. 

It didn’t help that whenever someone did there were a handful of articles about it to remind you and increase your envious feeling even more. 

You were rather open about it so Minho knew and would always tell you there was no reason for you to pay any mind to it, since he only had eyes and love for you and no one else. 

Those sweet and comforting words wouldn’t completely erase your worry, however, and so whenever you started to feel jealous you would yearn for more attention from him. It was usually you tugging at his clothes with a sulk on your face, or simply yearning for skin-ship, and it was something he would comply with, since he wanted you to feel reassured and loved. 

“Don’t feel jealous y/n, since I’m right here and I love you.” he would tell you as soon as he felt you tug at the end of his shirt and then pull you into his warm embrace with a smile.

Taemin: 

It was no secret that your boyfriend was well-liked and respected in the kpop-industry. It was a fact that made you feel immensely proud of him but at times it also woke a small but evident green monster inside of you. 

Other celebrities would utter praise and admiration for him, which you agreed with, but at times it was a bit overwhelming, to the point where you felt like half the industry had a thing for your boyfriend and you didn’t know how to compete with that. 

It was especially difficult every time he released a new single or album, since more attention would be on him, so at those times you would often be needy and want to spend more time with him. 

“Why do you have to be so popular? I think everyone loves you, literally everyone… it makes me feel jealous at times.” you admitted and tugged a bit at his sleeve with a frown on your face. 

He couldn’t help but smile, because he thought that you were cute, and then moved closer to be able to place a quick kiss on your lips. Somehow, he figured that’s what you wanted from the repeated tugging on his clothes. 

“I’m also jealous.” he then admitted with a small pout. 

It surprised you but also made you realize that you weren’t the only one with those bad thoughts and that put you at ease. Your boyfriend also told you that he would feel better if he received more kisses from you, which made you roll your eyes at first but then smile, since you really wouldn’t mind that too.

[ickle-ronniekins]

So two years ago I met my perfect guy, but I didn't know it at the time. I was doing an exchange year in Germany (I'm from mexico) and I met this guy from Brasil, I thought that we wouldn't talk a lot, so my first thought was "damn this guy is really cute" but he had a gf at the time. I saw him a couple of times but we didn't actually talked a lot, until the last month. We started talking in a party and I realised that we got along really well and that he was funny as hell and a really nice person, to be honest I was really scared to catch feelings for him bc it was the last couple of weeks that we were going to see each other and I before I started talking to him I got my heart broken twice that year. After that party we hung out a lot with our friends but we stayed together most of the times, I realised that every time he got the chance we would be by my side talking to me or trying to make me laugh, GOD I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME WITH HIM. The last few days were a little weird bc we both knew that we liked each other, but neither of us did a "move", the last day I saw him I was really sure he was going to kiss me, but he didn't and then he left. A couple of days later we still talked through the phone and we texted a lot. I guess the thing that hurted the most was that my friends knew that we liked each other (I mean, everyone knew) and they told me that he told them that he was going to kiss me but he couldn't. So I got sad over that and by the time i got back to Mexico we were still talking and then we finally confessed our feelings to each other, we were so sad that nothing happened and we hoped to see each other soon.

I still talk to him 2 years later, and I still think that he's my perfect guy, we don't talk too much now but I still have this feeling that he's the one. I guess we're really the quote that says "right person, wrong time". He is living his best life in Brazil and I'm enjoying my life in Mexico, but I still think about what could've happened. I think that we matched really well.

He is just so funny, he really tried everyday to make me laugh by doing something funny or trying to tickle me (he did once and I punched him in the nose lol), he used to sit by my side and talk to me about everything, he never judged my obsession over one direction and I always found him looking at me even when there were other people with us.

I still miss him, and I'm still hoping to see him again. Thank you for listening<3

ANON. OH MY GOSH. i need to sincerely apologize.

i did not see this in my inbox (i never received a notification, so i don’t even know when this is from) and i am just so, so, so sorry.

thank you so much for sending your story my way. thank you. this is absolutely beautiful.

so side note before i respond to this lovely story: i have been in my one direction feels all day long and have been listening to them for hours lol and i haven’t in SO LONG. how ironic! love them. i love them. SO much.

and now, to your story. i am so sorry that things didn’t work out with this lovely boy. it seems, though, that it would have been messy if things had happened in germany, since he had a girlfriend at the time. of course, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. i’ve heard so many stories like this -- ‘right person, wrong time’ type of thing, and my heart aches for you.

i think what stood out the most for me, is that two years later you’re both still chatting and you still think that he is the one. i mean, i had a crush on a guy for 5 years, but it was just a crush... and yet, i harbored those feelings for so long. but you saying that he’s the one? that is a whole other level (i’m squealing) (and i am rooting for you)

hang in there, lovely. perhaps he is the one, and perhaps you will both find one another again when you least expect it, and then everything will be perfect. i can only imagine how sad it was when you both confessed your feelings to one another once you both got back home, but i can also imagine how equally exciting that must have been, to love him and have him love you back. i yearn for that so wholeheartedly.

sending you all the love, beautiful anon. thank you so much for sharing your story with me (and so sorry for the late response!) x

[queenofthelanternfish]

Disclaimer: Posting my gf @anesther‘s fic on my account to make sure it shows up in the tags, because this spicy chapter deserves to be seen, dammit!

-

AN: The last smut chapter for this fic, alas. And the story will be complete the day S5 is released. Totally crazy tbh. Well, enjoy the remaining parts!

Title: Interfaces

Characters: Entrapta, Hordak

Pairing: Entrapdak

Rating: M (for sMUT)

Read on AO3 because these chapters deserve it.

                                                      Endurance

Is it alright for her to be so close?

Entrapta chatters away about graphs, percentages, machinery, things that are important. Yet he can’t seem to pay attention to anything she’s saying. He hears and comprehends, but there’s a part of him that wants to change the subject. Mostly to discuss what happened several weeks ago.

When he retires to his personal quarters, he tends to think about it. And his body responds to the memory of hers against him.

“What do you think?”

Hordak looks down at her, eyes flickering over the screens she has in her hands. He says, “It would be more prudent if we conserved that energy source. We aren’t sure yet how it will react with what we have.”

“That’s true. I do need to make sure everything is routed properly before testing a little bit,” Entrapta says.

He nods, walking away from her.

Entrapta’s gaze goes to him, eyes moving from broad shoulders to the slits of his dress. He hasn’t brought up what happened before. Does he even care? Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal to him. Looping a strand of hair onto a raft above, Entrapta swings over to him, “What do you think about this too?”

Hordak pauses, pretending to mull over the choices. His eyes land on cleavage peeking, shyly, at the gap of her shirt. Her body hovers next to him, an inch of space between their forms. He looks up at her, finding her gaze fixed on him.

“It’s acceptable.”

“Is it?”

Hordak raises a brow, smirking, “I believe so. Do you?”

“Yes, I do, too,” she replies, smiling.

They don’t move. Staring.

“That was a productive day,” Hordak says, breaking the silence. “Are you heading to your room?”

Entrapta follows him in the air, “I would, but I wanted to ask something.”

“Yes?”

“You like me, don’t you?”

Taken aback by the question, the straightforwardness of it, Hordak turns to her, gem glinting. “I—” He begins, stuttering. Clearing his throat, he nods. Finding it surprisingly easy to admit it. “Yes, of course I like you.”

“We’re friends?”

“...I think we are.”

Entrapta breathes a sigh of relief, hand to her chest. A sheepish grin stretches her face, “I’m sorry for asking… but ever since before I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

Hordak pivots in place, facing her fully. He shakes his head, “No, that’s— It’s not my intention to be avoidant with you.”

“Okay. I was wondering if things changed between us,” she admits, touching the ends of her forefingers together.

Hordak approaches her. He stops until he’s a foot away, unable to gauge what’s too close or not. He used to have no issue pushing in on her space. He doesn’t do anything, Entrapta closing the rest of the distance, at eye level. Reaching up, he touches her shoulder, “We’re friends but…”

Entrapta furrows her brows, nervous, “But…”

“But things did change between us too, didn’t it?”

She isn’t an idiot. And neither is he. Far from it. Yet the inquiry has to be addressed. These last few weeks have consisted of stolen touches and yearning glances. She would push the boundaries of closeness, leaning on him when it’s unnecessary. He withholds, however, even he gives in when he doesn’t restrain emotions, allowing his hand to caress her shoulder and linger. There was an undeniable attraction between the two of them, one that had been unspoken for months and months and crashed forcibly into them the moment their mouths touched.

Entrapta finds it strange. She adapts to change rather well, always has. But this potential change leaves her anxious. She’s never really been adept at making friends, and he was the closest thing to one she’s had. Yet, in the back of her mind, she wants to expand on this relationship she has with him.

“I think it did,” Entrapta says. “Are you okay with it?” Hordak moves closer, their lips a hairsbreadth apart. His hand reaches up to brush the side of her face, tangling his fingers into long, thick strands of purple. He drags them through, soft against his skin. He meets her gaze again, noticing the flush on brown skin. Unconsciously, her fingers placed themselves on his arms. Strands of hair twined about his frame, sensing them on the bared flesh of his back.

“Yes, I’m okay with it,” he replies. He leans closer, grazing her ear with his teeth. Voice low, he whispers, “I believe I was supposed to make it up to you at a later date..?”

A shaky breath leaves her, goosebumps rising on her skin.

“I take that as a yes,” Entrapta sighs, before kissing him.

Hordak’s left hand wraps behind her head, the right tugging her waist forward, pressing her onto his armor. She moans into his mouth, drawing him nearer as her arms tightly wound about his neck. She tastes sweet from the sugar she consumed earlier, her teeth gentle in comparison to his, scraping sharply across her lower lip. Her breath is hot as she moves back for air, eyes slightly opened.

Despite his outward confidence, he isn’t quite certain how to go forward. He had assumed that her anatomy, and response to his own, would imply she has to be touched between her legs too. Apprehensive, his fingers clench for a moment. Then he draws his knuckles up her inner thigh, sliding up until he rubs the area between them.

Entrapta’s body stiffens, gasping.

“Is that bad?” he asks.

“No… I like that,” Entrapta assures him. She grinds into his palm. “Keep going.”

Obliging, he rubs the tips of his fingers over her clothing. Entrapta’s mouth parts, breathing growing heavy. He keeps his eyes on her features, her skin blushing further. In an easy rhythm, she grinds her pelvis down into his hand. Hordak, speechless, keeps the movements steady in turn. Brows knitting, she bites her lower lip, hands gripping his shoulders.

“Hold on,” Entrapta gasps. Withdrawing, Entrapta kicks off her shoes first, before tugging down her overalls, socks falling with them. Leaving her upper clothes and gloves on, she smiles at him. “There, that should be easier!”

Gawking, Hordak stops. Stops breathing. Stops thinking.

Entrapta lifts a brow, tilting her head at him. She asks, “Is something wrong?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Her heart skips a beat. She’s never been told that before. She grins, “Really?”

“I would never lie to you,” he says, meaning it.

Somehow, she believes it. Entrapta rises to his height. Removing her gloves, she lays them down with the rest of her clothes. Caressing his cheek, forefinger drawing the outline of his jaw, Entrapta lightly kisses his lips. Hordak stares down at her body, swallowing.

Entrapta giggles, “Hey, wanna do something fun?”

“Is this not enjoyable already?”

With a sensuous smirk, Entrapta pulls down her shirt, breasts falling forward. Waggling her eyebrows, she says, “Now you can squeeze them and it won’t be awkward!”

Reaching forward, he marvels at the softness of flesh. Squishy… His thumb moves over her nipples, causing her to gasp. A slow smile spreads on his face, bending to her collarbone. Nipping at the skin, he plants delicate kisses along her chest. Her body shaking, he drags his tongue across to her left breast, circling the nipple. Entrapta emits a delicious moan, and he covers it entirely with his mouth, sucking on it.

Head tilted back, she moans, digits digging into his hair. A hand glides over her spine, squeezing her ass before the nails trail under her thigh.

Mindful of his claws, Hordak rubs his fingers against her clit. A substance coats his fingers, dripping down his knuckles, allowing them to slide with ease.

Moaning, Entrapta catches his mouth with hers, hips rocking back and forth. A strand of hair shifts down, skimming the front of his dress. A bulge has formed there, and her mind reels at thinking about it. That he’s responding like this to what she’s doing, by her mere presence. She strokes it, enamored with the desire in his eyes. Pushing him back onto the desk, Entrapta wraps her legs around him, floating. Hordak stares up at her, scathing her skin with sharp claws, leaving faint red welts in place. Gasping, Entrapta reaches down to her clit with her fingers. Wet with come, she watches him watch her. She knows she doesn’t need to, soaked as she is, yet she can’t help but wonder what his expressions would be if she slips her fingers down onto her clit, rubbing it with smooth strokes. His cock hardens further, she can tell.

She’s never been wanted before.

She always thought people found her ugly. Unlovable. Logically, even though she didn’t find her face too terrible, perceptions can alter that mindset. And the words thrown her way all her life never made her value anything about her physical attributes. Her mind turned people away, and in turn, so did her appearance.

Yet he can’t stop staring at her, near-reverent.

He brushes her cheek, “Entrapta?”

“Yes?” she asks, unaware of a tear running down her face.

“We don’t have to continue,” he says, willing to make her content in any form.

“No. I want to. I want you too,” she replies, sincere.

Surprised by her fervor, Hordak’s mouth is covered with hers again. Her tongue is soft between his teeth. Sighing into her, Hordak’s hands grip her hips. He notices growing heat, as Entrapta lowers herself. Dragging her fingers down his chest, Entrapta’s hand strokes his thigh as she draws back the front of his clothes. He stares down at her, eager, trembling. The tip of his member rubs against her clit, and he gasps.

Grinding onto the length, slick and warm, Entrapta looks directly at Hordak’s face. His eyes narrow, panting hard. His hands clench onto her legs. Voice husky, murmuring her name, he thrusts his hips along with hers. Groaning, Entrapta feels his hand brush her cheek. Kissing the inside of his palm, she glances up at him, half-lidded.

Then, positioning herself, she slips down onto his member. His body tenses, eyes wide in surprise before he closes them tight. Moaning, Entrapta tilts back her head. She might not have ever done this before, but she’s certain she’s doing it right…

A growl leaves his chest, heat pooling further in the center of his abdomen. Hordak inhales deeply, grasping the desk’s ledge. His eyes widen slightly, watching her body gyrate up and down his cock. Her prehensile hair does most of the work, yet her hips move on their own, undulating in hypnotic motions. His cock hardens further inside her walls, and he pumps his hips with hers.

Crying out in pleasure, Entrapta’s fingers splay across cool armor. Her thoughts halt, focused on the heat between her thighs. The exertion creates a patina of sweat that shines on her skin. Gulping down saliva, her breathing is heavy. Chest red from arousal, she stares, blearily, at his hands, molding over her breasts. Teasing erect nipples.

The pressure is unlike anything he’s felt. He’s burning, mind hazy. He hears her beg for more. Hordak increases the tempo of his movements, and she follows suit. The heat is driving him insane. He feels his nerves fraying, aching. There’s a pain shocking his system, and he doesn’t care. His thoughts fixate on the scent and feel of her body, her moans a delightful sound to his ears. He knew his failing body, despite the armor’s sufficient functions, would want to give out. Endurance is always an unknown variable with his cursed being. Mocking him, denying him what he wants.

He doesn’t care. He won’t allow weakness to determine his choices. He grabs her waist, delving further in than he already was.

“Ah—!” Entrapta yells, head bowing forward. Gritting her teeth, she reaches to touch his face without needing to look. Knowing every curve and sharp angle from memory. Her thumb strokes his mouth; his teeth bite it, tenderly. Tongue roving the edge of her forefinger, he draws it into his mouth, playfully trailing his canines along the skin. Sighing, Entrapta thrusts down faster. There’s a tightness in her body, coiling into itself. She feels as if she can’t breathe. She wraps her legs around his frame, arms pulling him toward her. Her lips skim his. Fingers gripping his hair, she is unable to comprehend the sensations in her body. Not the feeling of needing to release, she is aware of orgasms. It’s everything else—his very being is stirring rampant emotions. His voice, his hands on her back, supporting her.

She’s wanted this for so much longer than she wanted to acknowledge, afraid of losing him.

Entrapta kisses him, putting as much passion into it as she is capable. Her gasps tumble from her mouth in staccato, fingers firm on his neck as she comes.

Hordak bites his tongue to keep from screaming, heat leaving him in a sudden rush. His head falls onto hers, shaking. As the aftershocks dissipate, he breathes out her name in a low rumble.

They shift apart, panting.

He brushes away her hair, kissing her cheek. Entrapta hums happily, smiling into his neck.

“I’d say… I repaid you back for before,” Hordak says.

“I agree,” Entrapta replies, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

Tracing her spine with his fingers, feeling her shiver, he whispers, “I’d have done it regardless, and sooner.”

“Really?” Entrapta asks, turning to face him, still on his shoulder.

“Without a doubt,” he replies. He slides to the floor, flinching.

“Oh no! Did you start to hurt—?” Entrapta starts.

Hordak hugs her tight. The embrace is careful, sweet, compared to moments before. He shushes her, a hand stroking her hair. He looks at the ground. Feeling the self-hatred begin to creep again. “I don’t want to talk about that… I’ll be fine.”

“Hordak—”

“Entrapta, please... I… I just want this…”

She brings him close to her, kissing the crook of his neck.

They hold each other, finding bliss in being with another person. Someone who understands who they are.

They hope it doesn’t change.

[judewithcigarette]

ok get ready: 3, 8, 9, 15, 17, 19, 20, 32, 35, 36, 44, and 46!! you're welcome 😌

I am so EXCITEDDDD thank u legend 😌

3. who was the last person you held hands with?

      - I'm 95% sure it was actually you gabby, when you held my hand while we rode the Ferris wheel last year at the local fair cuz I was PETRIFIED jsldkfjlsdkfj

8. do you prefer sunrise or sunset?

      - okay so I prefer sunsets ESPECIALLY where we live, they really just hit different in our town.  but I WILL say that one of the clearest memories I have of childhood is when I woke up with my dad and my friend to see the sunrise on Catalina island when our school went there on a trip and it was so beautiful

9. what kind of weather represents who you are as a person?

      - this is such a good question and I have like, no clue 😅 I’ve been sitting and thinking about this for a little bit now, and I'm thinking I’m kinda like the sunny days that are also like 50ish degrees bc of the cold breeze? when you first walk outside you’re like holy FUCK but then you stay there for a moment and let the sun warm you up and then you’re like oh okay, it actually isn't that bad! I think that fits me :) another alternative would be the cool night breeze, I think that might fit me a little better

15. what does the perfect kiss feel like?

      - okay call me a sap for this one, but the soft kisses are the ones that feel most perfect to me. I've never kissed anyone I was truly in love romantically with but I HAVE kissed friends (plus my one ex) and the soft kisses where you’re both smiling a little and you’re moving with each other and you’re holding each other are the ones that make me melt... oof anyways time to watch pride and prejudice and yearn I guess 

17. who are you most inspired by?

      - I’m not sure there’s any one person I’m most inspired by, weirdly enough! I mean I could definitely say bts bc they inspire me, but in terms of actual people I think my loved ones inspire me just bc you see how they try to carve out their own pieces of happiness and it inspires me to do the same when I feel like I can't

19. what is your favorite plant?

      - EXCELLENT question I think cherry blossoms are definitely up there, and so are redwood trees.  lotuses and just like, flowers in general are very cash money I think.  ferns are cool too I like seeing them roll out

20. what is your favorite feeling?

      - the feeling when you’re just happy. or content might be a better word? peaceful? you know those moments in cheesy coming of age movies where the character sort of steps out of their body and looks around and is just like “yes this is good”? or when you’re just still, by yourself or with other people, and oh my fucking god this is gonna sound so cheesy but like, how they say someone’s soul is still and at peace and you just gotta smile? that feeling is my favorite

god why am I like this right now ANYWAYS!

32. where do you feel most at home?

      - hmmmm, location wise it would be in my bed or at a beach or my abuelos’ house or specifically in the muir woods jsldkfsldfj but in a broader sense there are just some people that are home y’know? no I will not name them specifically because I am already acting fucking sappy enough as it is but if you know me irl and you're asking yourself “does she mean me” yes I do ❤️

35. what is your favorite thing about yourself?

      - big titties and my potential to be a big titty goth gf

      - but seriously uhhh I think I’m resilient and I’m kinda smart and I can sweet talk by way into or out of any situation and I think that’s very cash money of me.  I am also a good listener and that might actually be my favorite

36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?

      - oh man I don't know honestly 🤔 when people say they can feel at home with me I get so happy like SO. HAPPY. and once someone told me that I held love in my eyes and that they could feel it when I looked at them and that one had me fucked up for AGES since I've also been told I have an intense gaze which like, I know isn’t inherently a bad thing but yeah 

44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?

      - just the usual, creating entire plot lines where I’m the main character and I’m doing wild shit or simply just vibing with a wife cottage core style sldkfjsldfj

46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

      - when my abuelo couldn’t be here for my birthday and he made a cake and sent a picture of it to me, and said something along the lines of “I can't give you much but I can give you my love and I hope that’s enough” and I sobbed for literal hours and I’m gonna have a breakdown just typing this I truly love that man so much 

[bubblegvms]

      ♡ . *   [   madelyn cline, cis female, she/her   ] ⁠— * oh, here comes DELILAH ABBOTT  !  the twenty-two year old libra is often referred to as the luminary. people say they have a tendency to be sententious and opinionated, but from what i’ve seen, they can be vivacious and devoted too. when they walk by, you’ll probably hear give you my lovin by mazzy star playing out of their headphones, but they’re also associated with chewing bubblegum after lunch, signing love letters with a kiss, & collecting music boxes. i hear they’re a waitress and studying women’s studies & want to become a social worker when they’re older, but who knows what will become of ‘em  !

        hey, everyone  !!  my name is diana, i am twenty years old, use she/her pronouns and reside in the est timezone  !!  some fun facts ( not really ) abt me: i’m a libra sun with a virgo moon and aquarius rising, i have 3 cats, i love film and jane austen :) i am suuuuper excited to be part of this group, ily all already and all ur muses are amazing <3 hehe i’ll be coming to u all for plots now asap :’) but anyway, without further ado, u can read abt my muse delilah under the cut  !!!

♡ . *    𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔    !

full name : delilah lane abbott

nickname(s) : lila ( she goes by this ), dee ( by family and close friends )

age : twenty-two

zodiac : libra sun, taurus moon, pisces rising ( click )

sexuality : bisexual

alignment : neutral good

pinterest : click

♡ . *    𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅    !    ( alcoholism & substance abuse tw )

delilah was born on a crisp autumn night, october 15th, 1970, to be exact. she was born in a tiny apartment in the middle of a college party. delilah’s birth mom was extremely young ( high school age ) when she got pregnant, and wasn’t sure who the father was. she came from a wealthy family, but ran away when she realized she was pregnant

her  birth  mother  also  struggled  with  alcoholism  and  substance  abuse.  those  close  to  her  did  their  best  to  make  sure  she  wasn’t  using  any  of  these  substances  during  her  pregnancy,  but  she  snuck  a  few  drinks  and  pills  here  and  there  whenever  she  got  the  chance

after giving birth to delilah, things only got worse. she continued drinking and using drugs more than ever before, often times neglecting her baby. she attempted to raise her baby with her boyfriend, who was much older than her, but he ultimately was no help and only there for a good time. delilah lived with her birth mom the first three ( almost four ) years of her life

finally, her birth mom’s parents tracked her down and discovered she had a child. once they saw the conditions she was living in, they told her she needed to put delilah up for adoption before the state took her away. so that is exactly what she did, and has been in and out of rehab ever since

delilah was adopted around a year later. at this point, she was nearly 5. she was extremely happy and felt so grateful to be adopted. while in the foster care system, she had met a lot of older kids who had been there for years

delilah’s family was so loving and welcoming, she truly could not have asked for more. 3 years later, they adopted jude and delilah became a big sister  !!!  she is extremely protective over her sister, she would literally do anything for her :’) and their parents clearly loved kids, since their basement also became the hangout spot for everyone

( donna and i are still plotting out the details about their family, but it’s only them and their mom now o: )

lila had to grow up pretty fast, so she always much more responsible and mature for her age. still, despite everything, she always maintained an optimistic outlook on life. she loves life and the people in hers so much, she just has so much love to spread  !!!!

delilah developed a passion for feminism at a young age, thanks to her mother. she would literally print out feminist readings and pass them out at lunch in high school. she’d also give speeches about feminism at school. some people disliked her for it, saying she was too opinionated and stuff, but it never stopped her. she also pretty much always knew she wanted to be a social worker

♡ . *    𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚    !

delilah always sees the best in people. although she acknowledges that everyone has flaws, she’s the type of person who doesn’t like to give up on anyone. she will support you even through your darkest times, and try to help you see the light

she is so protective of her friends and family, like will truly do anything to see them safe and happy. she just wants to remind everyone that they are loved and supported

she LOVES people soooooo much  !!!  she is extremely extroverted, literally a social butterfly who tries to befriend literally everyone ajskdhkdh

delilah dislikes conflict, so she is often playing peacemaker, whether in her home life or with her friend group. she wants everyone to get along, but be able to talk to their differences to come to some sort of common ground. however, sometimes this means shes sticking her nose in other people’s business

she is obsessed with love  !!!!  like this girl literally falls in love 5 times a day with a stranger on the bus, the coolest celebrity on tv, the girl that sits next to he in class, etc. i think she is definitely a relationship person, because she’s a nurturer and wants to be there for people. however, i think sometimes she gets caught up in the fairy tale of it all. like she wants to be in love so bad, sometimes she rushes into things or idealizes the situation in her head, so things might not exactly work out

delilah isn’t very open with her emotions. she mostly keeps them to herself, because she doesn’t want anyone to have to worry about her or anything. she tries to deal with everything herself mostly

she sees the beauty in everything, which is like partially because she’s a huge optimist. she also cannot resist pretty things. she once bought a pink guitar from a thrift store because she thought it was pretty, even though she has no idea how to play. however, she wants to learn, especially because she loves to sing ( this bitch is literally always humming )

is almost always the designated driver. she doesn’t really drink or smoke too often, and when she does, it’s during social situations. but she wants her friends to have all the fun they want and know they have someone they can count on to get them home safely. but btw she is an extreme lightweight LMFAO

some other little headcanons / tidbits about her

♡ . *    𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔    !

adventure buddy - someone who goes on little adventures with her and is always down to experience and try new things  !!!

ride or die / best friend - the person she is closest to ( aside from jude ). literally her platonic soulmate, the person who understands her the most, the person she understands the most

unlikely friends - they’re so different, you’d never expect them to be good friends. but for some reason, it just works. they click  !!  maybe they’re always introducing each other to new things, like showing each other their interests and stuff

ex-fling / gf / bf - maybe they ended on weird terms, maybe they ended on good terms, maybe they still have lingering feelings or sexual tension, etc. we can plot however  !!

unrequited crush - maybe delilah has a crush on ur muse. she is constantly falling for people so it wouldn’t be unlikely  !!  OR ur muse could have a crush on her and she’s oblivious to it

requited crush - they both like each other, but maybe they’re both too scared to make a move, or maybe they’re ready to like try going out, we can plot however  !!

friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing / sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t

enemies w benefits - ok not actually enemies, since they’re all friends and delilah doesnt rly hate anyone ( only racist, sexist, homophobic, etc kinds of ppl ). but maybe they don’t exactly see eye to eye, so imagine the tension  !!!  they started out not getting along that well, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. maybe they’re keeping it a secret from everyone else

will they, won’t they -  there’s feelings between them, but they haven’t made the plunge to pursue whatever they have. longing, yearning, lingering glances PLS  !!!  they have chemistry, but maybe the timing has always been off  ??

flirtationship - they flirt constantly, but nothing serious has come out of it and maybe never will. maybe they have good chemistry, but have never tried to explore it further, or don’t want to ruin their friendship. or maybe they flirt and think it’s a joke, but really it’s like a haha jk....unless  ?  type situation AKSJJKSD

ex-close friends - someone she used to consider a best friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how, or they’re just accepting of the distance between them

take care / taken care of - ok so delilah doesnt drink or smoke a lot, but when she does, she is an extreme lightweight. maybe ur muse looks after her when she’s under the influence  ?  also  !!!  someone she looks after a lot. like she tries to take care of all her friends, but maybe she especially wants to take care of ur muse and has a soft spot for them  !!!

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other  !!!  they trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private. delilah isn’t very open about stuff, but she confides in ur muse maybe

bad influence - delilah hasn’t done a lot of bad or crazy things in her life, so i’d luvvvvv for a bad influence plot  !!  someone who gets her to do things she never would do otherwise. someone who can show her a fun time  !!

good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok  !!

diner days - she’s a waitress, maybe ur muse always shows up during her shifts to keep her company and get free milkshakes  !!  someone who helps her pass the time while she’s working

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll be making a plots page later on and add more stuff  !

finally, that is all !! i’m so sorry about how long this is, i ramble so much sometimes !!! but anyway, if u like this post i’ll hit u up on discord ( if u don’t i’ll still message u <3 ). if u prefer tumblr im’s for plotting tho, just let me know <3 i’m sooo excited to rp with u all aaahhh i can’t wait  !!!!

my discord:  blackpink is coming <333333#5522

[jawnjendes]

slow | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

AN: its a smutty smut. i wasn’t gonna write anymore shit about the beginning of their relationship but SOMEONE just HAD to be in an underwear campaign so here we are. its not even that dirty, it’s the beginning of their sex life so yeah

masterlist | series playlist

I had to set dating rules for myself if I wasn't going to fall into old habits. For one thing, I had to have a friend check in on me via text while I was out with Shawn. Stella never failed at sending her hourly "you good?👀" messages. If it wasn't Stella, then it was someone from my video game club. Someone was always on standby if I needed it.

Another rule I had to set was that I needed to be engaging if I wanted things to go somewhere. In the past, there was little communication between both parties, so I quickly got used to keeping my mouth shut about everything. Shawn was the opposite. He talked about everything and nothing, including extremely mundane details about his classes. However, because I did in fact like him, it was easy to listen and be entranced by his words. I tried not to talk about the personal things he asked me about, like my stomach problems, or my hometown. I was getting there, though.

Then, there was the biggest rule of all: don't have sex with him right away. My therapist suggested that one because of my past relationships. If I slept with Shawn from the get go, it would have kept me from opening up to him and it would have gotten me into the habit of using sex to hide the baggage I unfortunately have. Therefore, I couldn't have sex with him until I was ready. It was a good rule. It was a good way to determine if he just wanted sex or if he actually wanted me. When I mentioned that rule to him, he was perfectly okay with waiting, and it gave me some peace of mind.

Things moved slowly but pleasantly over the last ten dates I've had with Shawn. On the eleventh date, he invited me back to his apartment after spending ten minutes in the backseat of his car in a movie theatre parking lot. I was straddling his lap, having my breath stolen by his kiss only a minute prior. I had to take it slow, that doesn't mean I wasn't allowed to make out with him!

"Going to back to your place implies that something's gonna happen," I said, my hands on his very broad shoulders.

"Oh, so what's happening now?" he asked, a smirk on his pretty face. His fingers laced together behind my lower back. "Come on." He leaned in and pressed his lips on mine again, sweet and yearning. "Stay with me tonight."

It had been less than a month since this thing started, and I was already a fucking fool for him. Technically, I wasn't supposed to get into a compromising position like this. Every part of my body was screaming for me to accept his invite, wanting to give him all of me. But the paranoid, crazy side of my brain was working hard. It was warning me of past experiences when things like this would happen. Shawn has the same pretty face and charming demeanor of every guy I've been with, which is what made him untrustworthy.

He's going to sleep with you and never call you again. He's playing you. There are no feelings here. He wants you to think he likes you.

"We're taking things slow, remember?" I reminded him as I climbed off his lap. I sat leaning against the door, folding my arms.

Shawn took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he touched his swollen lips, and I couldn't not stare at that gesture. I just wanted those lips so bad. I wanted those lips on my-

"I understand," he spoke at last. "This isn't something you get into easily, right?"

I didn't want to unveil my past right away. I didn't want him to think less of me because of it. I chose my words carefully.

"Well, I told you, I have rules," I said. "It's out of respect for myself."

"Meaning?"

He said he understood! Why does he need details?! Why does he want to get in my pants so bad!?

I looked around at the walls and ceiling of the vehicle. Then I started to tap my leg. "I used to think of myself one way, and it made me throw caution to the wind. Now, I know I deserve to have rules for myself. I'm proceeding with caution. Can you understand that?" That last question had a bit of unintentional snark.

Shawn nodded, sitting up straight. "Yeah, a hundred percent."

"Or do you just want to get in my pants and get it overwith?" I asked, paranoia making her dramatic entrance before I could stop her.

"What? No!"

"If you just wanted one thing you could have told me! You don't have to lie to me!"

"What - no, wait! Stop," Shawn told me, a confused look on his face. "Stop for a second, look at me. Honey, look at me."

My eyes were daggers as they pierced into Shawn's. He had his brows furrowed, trying to read every bit of the soul I refused to hand over. In his eyes, I just lost my goddamn mind for no reason. In reality, he was implying I go to his place to fuck and then kick me to the curb.

"If I wanted just sex, I would have asked," he explained. "If I didn't want a relationship with you, I wouldn't have asked you out. I've had casual sex before, I know how that works. But with you, it's not just casual, and I don’t want it to be. And when the times comes and you're ready, it's not going to be like my previous experiences. It'll be better, because there's feelings-"

I cut him off before it could get too mushy. "Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." I paused. "I intend on waiting, I just didn't think it would be this hard."

"Well, whenever you're ready, I know it's gonna be amazing."

My face went hot.

~

I needed to spend time away from Shawn so my entire body could cool down, but I also needed to spend time with him to get things moving. Do you see my problem?

School and work kept me busy, though. I was especially glad to not have to think about past mistakes while I was at work, even though a specific one worked three feet away from me most days. When I was on campus, I had that irrational fear of running into Shawn, even though we shared exactly zero classes. I didn't want to run into him because I was worried he would give me those affectionate eyes and cute smile…. And then I would pounce on him in public.

Would that be such a bad thing?

I couldn't sleep that much either. If I did, I dreamt about pretty pink lips on my skin and hips between mine. I came to the conclusion that I probably should not have kissed Shawn on the first date. My sanity was gone now because of it. I had a little taste of him and now it was all I wanted. He really had to be handsome, charismatic, and a good kisser. He had it all.

Two more dates went by with minimal kissing and no sex talk. We spoke of more mundane things, got to know each other some more, but so help me god if either one of us let a simple hand touch linger too long. I always wanted to scratch at the skin on my hands and arms because he left a trail of fire with the tips of his fingers.

Shawn liked touching my hair a lot, as it turns out. It was a gentle way of reminding me to make eye contact. These days though, whenever he moved a strand behind my ear, I couldn't help but think of how he could hold my hair up while I-

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, his foot nudging mine under the table.

"The inevitability of death and how everything is essentially meaningless and we're just on a rock that's hurtling through space," I answered like I wasn’t thinking about dropping to my knees under the table.

"Hot."

He was joking, but we shared a certain look. There was a tiny undertone of seriousness in that one simple word. The restaurant we were at was crowded but I found myself tuning out all the sounds as I looked at Shawn's face. This would have been a lot easier if he had been a one night stand, or a full time fuck buddy.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked in return. My eyes flickered down to his blue button up, where the first three buttons were left undone. It wasn't helping the situation, and I think he knew that.

"That cute little skirt you're wearing." He quirked his eyebrows once and smiled.

Okay, I wasn't helping either, I'll admit it. I didn't intend to wear something that could be seen as teasing, but the weather was tolerable and I wanted to take advantage. That's totally the only reason why I paired a tight black long sleeve with a black skater skirt.

"I'm not cute, I'm edgy," I corrected, despite the blush rising on my cheeks.

"Yeah, the black lipstick says it all," Shawn said, reaching across the table for my hand. "Which, by the way, I haven't seen you wear since we started dating."

"If I wear black lipstick, I can't kiss you," I told him, looking at his hand tattoo. "It'll make a huge mess on our faces, and I have rules to follow. Black lipstick is how I know nothing will happen tonight."

"Nothing, eh?" Shawn narrowed his eyes like he was taking on a challenge.

"Absolutely nothing." I smiled.

My phone screen lit up from where it sat on my lap. Check in time. I let go of Shawn's hand to answer the text.

"you good?👀"

"ye bb"

"ok be careful and remember your rules."

I was lucky to have Stella.

When Shawn dropped me off at campus later that night, he kissed my hand and told me that I was not making this any easier. I should have been put off, but my brain was short circuiting and not working how it normally did. I left the car excited and extremely frustrated.

~

By the thirteenth date, neither of us could really take it anymore. After a movie, Shawn and I were in the backseat of his car again, sitting awfully close to one another, but keeping our hands to ourselves. The idea was to just innocently sit together and talk about nothing, because neither of us wanted the date to be over yet, and I absolutely could not go to his place. However, so much making out has happened back here that we couldn't not think about that.

Our foreheads were touching, and my hand was on his face. I had given that much, and it was almost impossible to resist closing the distance between us. Shawn's breathing was shallow, like he was forcing himself to not take me the way he wanted. His breath touched my lips so softly, I brought my thumb up to his lower lip, thinking about how bad it would be if I nibbled on it just a little.

"I can't believe you had the nerve to wear that skirt again," he murmured, then he leaned back to look at me.

"I can't believe you don't button your shirt all the way," I said back, running my hand down his neck and to his exposed chest. Touching his skin was sending electricity through my veins. I was teetering on the edge, I couldn't wait anymore.

Shawn looked down between us and placed a big hand on my thigh. He was over my skirt, but I still felt my skin get hot underneath. It was the last push I needed, and he didn't even have to move. Just a touch was all it took.

"I don't wanna go all the way," I told him. "Not yet."

"Okay." He retracted his hand. "That's fine, I'm sorry if I overstepped."

I took his hand like it was a lifeline, and I looked him in the eyes. "You're not hearing me. I don't wanna go all the way yet, but I need you."

His eyes widened with excitement, and the corner of his mouth went up. He didn't even hesitate to cup my face and bring our lips together.

There was no room for shame in the slightest; His tongue tasted mine like he would never get the chance to again. My hands shook as I reached for his shirt, undoing all the buttons as quickly as I could. A sigh left my throat when I was able to touch his delicious abs, and it made me squeeze my thighs together.

Shawn broke away from me, but I went in and started trailing kisses along his neck. Soft, wet prints went down his collarbone and back up to his jaw. But he firmly grabbed my wrists to get my attention.

"Wait."

My stomach sank, and a pout formed on my face before I could stop it. I only had a good minute of feeling him up before it was sorely interrupted.

"Let me focus on you," he said, moving a strand of hair that had stuck to my mouth. "I, I don't want you to think I'm, like, using you or anything. Let me just make you feel good. You won't have to do anything in return."

"That's not fair to you, though," I replied.

"It's okay. I'm more of a… pleaser. I want to please you. Make you feel good things."

He let go of my wrist to place his hand on my thigh again. This time, it slowly moved up, taking my skirt with it. Shawn leaned in to me again, his lips softly calling my name. But before I could give into him, I had one request.

"Just take your shirt off."

A wave of heat went over me as Shawn stared into my eyes. Without breaking the gaze, he pulled off his button up and let it drop to the floor. His arms were thick and muscular, something I never had much interest in until he came along. His pecs and his abs were sculpted just right, and it made my mouth water. I could see his Calvins peeking from the top of his jeans, and I couldn't help but notice the protruding bulge he had going on. I lost all coherent thought, squeezing my thighs together once again.

Shawn noticed this, and a cocky smirk grew on his face. Silently, he went for my thighs again and gently spread them open. "Want me to touch you, honey?"

Oh god, yes.

I could only nod before grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him in for another sloppy kiss. The only sounds were from heavy breaths, desperate sighs, and our tongues tasting one another. Shawn had one arm around my waist, the tips of his fingers touching the hem of my shirt and the skin on my back. His free hand dove right in between my legs, stroking firmly against my covered core.

"So fucking pretty," he whispered against my lips. "So fucking wet for me, eh?"

I didn't know what to say, I just let out a sharp breath as he touched me.

He gently kissed my cheek, and then he moved his hand away from where I needed him. Instead, he grabbed the hem of my panties from under my skirt, tugging on them slightly.

Almost too eagerly, I moved my hips up to help get them off. Once Shawn got a look at the lace, he chuckled like he was impressed.

"Really? A red thong?" he asked, letting the skimpy lace hang off his index finger before it dropped to the floor.

I smiled. "They were there just in case you wanted to see them."

"You little tease." Then, he took my right leg and lied it across his lap, thus exposing me to the world. Or, in this case, his car.

What can I say, I loved being a tease. I thrived off of someone chasing after me and my lust. I was supposed to wait, but it turned into a little game over the last couple of weeks. It felt a lot more intimate knowing that Shawn was always ready to lap that shit up like nobody's business. He played when it was time to play, but he had also been very respectful and patient with me.

Not to mention, he had quite the dirty mouth on him. It was a delicious contrast from his typical boyish charm and sweet nothings.

Shawn was rubbing in just the right place in no time. It was so good, so right, I was actually surprised. It was like he knew which exact place would send me. My eyes squeezed shut and my hand was on his chest in seconds, my fingers gently scratching against his skin.

"Right there?" he guessed. I could hear the smug grin in his voice.

"Mhmm," I moaned, for my lack of speech was now very compromised. My head went back against the seat and my jaw went completely slack.

"You don't even know how fucking hot you look right now," he mused, his mouth against my ear. He ceased the soft but rapid rubbing to insert his index and middle fingers into my dripping hole. "You don't even know how good you feel against my fingers. I can't wait for when you let me have my way with you, baby…"

Oh, fuck. Neither could I. As much as I wanted to hear him tell me everything he wanted to do, I knew it would leading to acting out those things. We're going slow. I was perfectly content with Shawn fingering me until I couldn't take it anymore. He was surprisingly good at it.

His soft lips pressed against my temple, and then he was nosing my hair. His fingers were relentless, making obscene noises as they pumped the night away. I really wasn't going to last.

"Oh, fuck yeah," Shawn groaned when I let out my first desperate whine. "You dirty fucking girl."

I gripped the hairs at the nape of his neck, needing something to keep me grounded. My hips twitched once, and my toes were curling the way they did before-

Another loud, pornographic moan came out of me. My body was starting to shake with how quick and smooth Shawn was going, and it was making my mind go fuzzy.

He kissed my neck feverishly, mumbling dirty, dirty words against my skin. The sweet, soft boy I had at the beginning of this date was long gone, and I thrived on the filthy sex fiend he left behind. I couldn't get enough.

My hips were moving on their own as I got closer to my finish. My eyes were still shut because if I looked at Shawn, I was sure to just pass out on the spot. I felt my thighs shake, something that had only happened on my own time. This was way too good to be true.

"I'm, I'm gonna come," I managed to speak in a broken, needy whisper. "Fuck, I'm gonna come…"

Shawn actually growled in the back of his throat. He fucked me faster with the two same digits, and my stomach tightened intensely. His lips were on my cheek as he desperately whispered, "Come on… come on, give it to me…"

"Fuck! Fuck!"

Soon enough, my breathing sped up until every part of me was shaking and spasming. My moans were borderline sobs as I burst all over his hand and onto the car seat. Shawn quickly removed his fingers to rub at me just to keep it going for that much longer. I cry out, only for the sounds to get softer and softer as I came down from what was probably a life changing orgasm.

Why was it life changing? Because that was the first time anyone has made me feel like that.

I couldn't catch my breath once Shawn took his hand away. I couldn't speak, or even open my eyes, so I just turned my body into his and curled into his lap, desperately seeking comfort and cuddles. His arms went around me with no hesitation, stroking the back of my head.

"Slow your breathing, honey," he told me, planting a kiss on top of my head. "Just slow down."

"Holy shit," I breathed out.

Holy shit. I was so done for.

[flying-elliska]

Elu feelings

I cope by writing meta, so expect a lot of it this weekend. I think I’m going to be processing s3 for a long time tbh.  I feel like all ships have a few core emotions they run on, you know ? 

The first one I can think for Eliott and Lucas is relief. Like look at them after their first kiss, hugging and laughing. It’s like this big stormcloud of tension that has just broken into rain over their heads and is now watering their crops. Relief because they’ve both been lonely for a long time and they just found each other and it’s downright miraculous.

 It’s that corniest of corny tropes, love at first sight, except for them it really works, because they show us time and time again how perfectly they fit together. They both want something committed and deep, they’ve got artistic sensibilities, they’ve been hurt a lot by life but still want to believe, they’re both so passionate. Eliott’s romantic playfulness manages to reach beyond Lucas’ walls, Lucas’ fierce devotion is able to reach through Eliott’s pessimism and self-hate. They can be themselves together after a lifetime of hiding. Eliott gives Lucas signs that it’s okay to be goofy, and Lucas shows appreciation for it. During the piano scene, Eliott looks at Lucas like water in the desert. And Lucas just blossoms as soon as he doesn’t have to bother with shallow, bullshit pretend relationships anymore. I don’t like the ‘we complete each other trope’ usually, but those two, they really do. They went on their own journey but it’s really like something wasn’t right with the universe until they got together. And look at how relieved they are to see each other again after being pulled apart. The minute by minute becomes that too in the end, as does the parallel universe metaphor - there could be so many ways and so much time for them to be apart, and they’re going to make damn sure they never have to be apart again. It’s fragile and it’s beautiful and it’s the most right thing ever. They just fit. 

The second one is...probably yearning, working along with the first one. They’re both just so needy. Eliott is in general ‘a lover of all things’ (like Maxence said) - and as shown through the Polaris video, he desperately wants a true soul connection, something that goes beyond appearances, beyond fears. He puts that film out in the world like a message in a bottle. He doesn’t get funding, but it does reach the one person it needed to. The story could be hella sappy and it would fit the whole artsy teenager with too many feelings thing, but it’s just so earnest. He’s terrified of ‘the dark’ (ie his issues with mental illness) and what it would do to people around him, and yet he’s still willing to take his deepest, most desperate desire and put it into the palm of the world. There’s something so brave about that. And Lucas ?  He starts out as disconnected and adrift, pretends to be tough and a player but scratch the surface even once and wow. The way he clings to his mask speaks of his fear of being left alone. And the way he just opens up to Eliott so fast - he’s been looking for that forever, really. Someone to really see him, and see that need. The way things went in his family probably hurt him so deeply because under his grumpy façade, Lucas strikes me as someone incredibly loyal and caring, and what his father did probably shook a lot of his core beliefs. Because of this and his internalized homophobia, he took on a ‘feelings make you weak’ demeanour. So it’s so important that him and Eliott made it through - it allows him to believe in love again, that he is worthy of being loved, it’s some deeply existential shit. (even though the part with his friends was also crucial.) And it’s why it never seems rushed that they move so quickly. It’s really like a spark comes and starts a wildfire in a few moments because everything was ready for it already. I would buy them moving in together, for real. Obviously they might have issues down the road because of this. Lucas’ abandonment issues and Eliott’s troubled self-image and issues linked to bipolar are not going to just vanish overnight. They just care and want this so much they might rush into things. But you really believe they’re going to pull through and spend the rest of their lives together, anyway. 

I’m also thinking of faith. That’s the whole point of the Remember montage. The beginning of their relationship is really messy. Eliott cheats on his gf and bails on him and sends him all sorts of mixed signals, Lucas says some really ignorant things about mental illness and pretends to be into girls and uses Chloé and says mean things about him to his friends. Lucas is forcibly outed, then there’s the whole houseboat which might have been very traumatic for the both of them - someone else in their shoes might have said, this is too much for me, and they might not have been entirely unjustified. I feel one important aspect of this pairing is that you’re never entirely sure they’re going to end up together. Sure, they’re perfect for each other, but their issues interact in ways that mean they’re uniquely suited to hurt each other as well. When you look at Lucas’ past, Eliott on paper really isn’t an ideal partner. Lucas too can be sharp and mean and reckless, or he can go overboard when he cares about something. They’re both very aware as it develops that this could end up being dangerous for them, that they could wreck each other. This version of the story just has so much more tension and uncertainty than the other remakes, for some reason - maybe because Lucas is more isolated, or Eliott is less cool on the surface than Even, or maybe it’s down to technical choices too. The amount of feelings between is overwhelming right from the start, it’s like, it could easily become too much. And then there’s the whole stigma from society thing. And of course, love, between anyone, remains one of the most terrifying things in life, because of the trust and openness and vulnerability it demands. So faith is important, because it implies making a bet that things will turn out alright in the end. It’s about compassion and moving on from the past but also learning from it. And choosing to put the positive possibilities above the negatives. They choose to have faith in themselves, too, when they choose the relationship. That they’re going to figure it out, be better at communicating. The church montage makes a lot of parallels between religious faith and love, as being a refuge in times of sorrow, something true and sure when everything is uncertain.  It should be the meaning of ‘christ-like’ love. And this is not about Lucas being some sort of savior figure for Eliott in spite of his ‘flaw’ - it’s for himself too, that compassion and that faith. That he can be better than his father. That he recognizes the faith Eliott put in him by telling him about Polaris - now he probably understand fully what it means, that Eliott was telling him he was stuck in that darkness too, that he gave Lucas this key because he had faith in Lucas’ capacity to love. It’s about people’s faith deserving to be rewarded in kind.  It’s so beautiful, I want to cry.

And last but not least - tenderness. If I had to pick only one, it would be this one. And it’s not (only) about them being so cuddly and prone to PDA as soon as they get together, it’s a much deeper thing. It’s like they look at each other and go ‘hello, your soul is beautiful and belongs with mine, let me make some room for you’. It’s in the way they approach each other - Lucas makes the first move, then Eliott shows his interest in a way that is ‘chelou’ enough to signal something more is going on - repeats his name only for him - but never pushy. It’s the entirety of the piano scene, and the way they keep unveiling little bits of who they truly are to each other - Eliott’s wacky music and moves are incredibly important for that, and so is Lucas’ playing - it’s them creating a space for each other saying, look you’re safe with me, I am weird and intense and passionate and artistic and I know you are too. It’s that conversation as they walk home, the carefully worded sentences where they’re pushing each other towards the conclusion of ‘not necessarily a girl’. And it’s of course the first kiss - Eliott pushing at Lucas enough to show him how much he cares and get past his walls, but letting him do the first move. And Lucas letting Eliott know he has seen Polaris. And obviously the entirety of Samedi 9 : 17. Lucas knowing what to say to reach Eliott, his emotional intelligence. Eliott’s little drawings, and his romantic gestures that show Lucas he deserves a grand love story. Lucas taking care of Eliott after his episode, the croissants and the flowers and the meals. The playfulness, the care, the attention. They want to help each other be as free and happy as they could be, they care so much about each other’s developpment ? The way they’re constantly checking in with each other - minute by minute, and the reciprocity of the bus stop scene - Eliott knowing how to use it to soothe Lucas’ fears as well, showing the truth of the concept that they both will have difficult moments. They’ve bruised each other’s hearts, it’s heavy, but they also handle it as a privilege - it’s so much better than not being in each other’s lives. When they’re together, it has the carefree vibe of young first love, joyful and clumsy and rowdy ; but you catch glimpses of them as old souls, too, with a maturity and selflessness and depth of love that is just awe inspiring. It’s love as sanctuary and refuge, and love that opens the doors to the world. 

I’m never going to be over it tbh. 

[countdownto65]

Empathy for Self

What is the nemesis of shame? Empathy.

What is the root of most of your shame? Attention seeking, codependentcy and sexual misconduct.

Empathy. You were the oldest in the family fighting for parental attention against two babies.

You hit puberty early. This was a 2 fold problem. You started getting attention furthering the tight shirts but in turn Everyone in 4th grade started calling you a ho. You had never even kissed a boy. You were not a ho and kids are fucking mean.

But you know who else’s attention you got by having boobs, dressing in body suits and seeking attention at 11 years old? A fucking pedophile. While your behavior made you an easy target, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE SEXUALLY EXPLOITED AT 12, 13, 14, OR 15 YEARS OLD. Did you fuckin get that? No matter what your actions it was not your fault they targeted you. Even if you agreed to it at 13, 14, 15 you can leave that self blame right here bc that was their bad NOT YOURS. This is where you learned sex = attention, power, control. They would buy you stuff, get you high and drunk, make you feel like the best person they know all (not explicitly stated) for sexual behavior. I learned a skewed view on relationships and appropriate sexual behavior in adult married behavior. I learned to emotionally detach from sex. I learned to over ride the “this shit ain’t right” feeling you get in your chest when you are uncomfortable in a situation. All of these things are what set your boundaries and your very left field view of what kind of attention makes you feel worthwild. This was not your fault and sometimes life has shitty things happen that effect our outlook forever.

So it sure was easy to sleep with boyfriends, I mean you “loved” them, they were always older, sex was something that didn’t come from everybody so with my sexual skills I learned from the pedophiles I was the best gf a 16 year old could have. And bc I could so easily separate sex from emotion (as a conditioned response to molestation) and it was a way to get boys I liked to notice me, I gave it up easily. Not necessarily sex, but sexual acts. It was one way I felt power and control. Boys treated me special on the surface bc I was pretty with tight clothes…but I failed to realize the power was momentary at the cost of respect. Both self respect and respect of everyone else. This was when my first experience with the fuck and run type of dude came in. The first time I cared. After that I didn’t at least I told myself I didn't but This was when I began codependency. They didn’t always fuck and run. I was good at getting boys to stick around for a while. I was a serial dater. I had to have a significant other to feel worth so I had too many boyfriends. Always one on hand one on the backburner. This was you reaching out for real connection, something you felt had been missing both with your parents, your abusers and your random sexual encounters. When I had a bf I was faithful. I know that sounds fucked up bc I just said I had a backburner but I was never sleeping with this other guy. I just friend zoned him knowing he liked me so I could establish my safety net. So one day at 17 Ieft home, went to a house party, hooked up with the guy who’s house it was (Matt) and that was the start of my first adult relationship. I loved him from the bottom of my toes but he often cheated on me and I never left him for it. It was at this time that I severed my relationship with my abusers. I was old enough to at least have an inkling something wasn’t right, plus now I considered it cheating and I didn’t cheat on him. He started selling drugs. We both got into cocaine. It was easy bc I dated the dopeman.

Then he went to prison. I continued the relationship with him but continued to date/sleep with men while he was away. This was when I caught an std and began stripping on weekends. This is still caused by poor boundaries and a skewed idea of sex and power… Set in motion by sexual abuse. By now I had slowed way down on cocaine but had a huge weed and alcohol habit. I worked at a catholic preschool during the week but stripped to pay for my substances on Sat nights. This set off a little bit of the uncomfortable double life feeling but I pushed it down. I also hustled people for substances. Although I never slept with anyone for money or drugs. But I def made them think I might so they would get me high. Never felt bad either bc if your a dude willing to be got you deserved to get hustled…that was my mindset. I also saw stripping as a hustle. Hustle to me means fuck with a lame walk with a limp. I mean if your gonna be thirsty I’ll take your money. This is probably when I acquired my mindset that most dudes were creeps and out to get me. I realize now that by appearing easy I was literally attracting creeps but at the time I enjoyed the attention and the feeling of superiority and has a huge sample of men to confirm my bias.

Every now and then though I got tricked out of my hard exterior and caught feelings. This is my deep emotional need for connection, to feel worth while. This is where I met my daughters father. He was a giant red flag but problem with bad boundaries and emotional regulation is if I liked you I would ignore red flags and become overly obsessed with you. This has continued to be a problem throughout adulthood.

Anyways I dated Tony until He went to prison, then Matt got out of prison until we broke up, then Tony got out of prison and we has Olivia. Then Tony went back to prison and I met Jason, I left Jason when Tony got out of prison but when Tony and I broke up I went back to Jason and we had Leah. Are you seeing the boomerang effect of codependentcy and back burner relationships. One stable relationship was not enough.

I wanted Jason to be different. To be a family but unfortunately Jason turned out to be very abusive mentally, physically and emotionally. He was an alcoholic and a mean one. But for some reason I loved him and let him stomp on me over and over. He took my confidence. He took my pride. He took my soul. I tried to break up with him 30 times he would say no and just wouldn’t leave. I was faithful to him until I moved out into subsidised housing. But even then I didn’t have multiple men just one man that to this day I love. This guy put up with being #2 for 2 years on and off. Maybe he knew I loved him, maybe he knew that I was stuck with Jason, maybe he knew I needed to feel wanted and worthy. During this I felt guilty and shameful. I eventually bought a house and moved Jason in. That is when this other guy got a new gf and left me alone. It was like mourning a breakup that I couldn’t tell anyone. Eventually I legally evicted Jason and this left me with a self worth and connection black hole.

I acted out for a minute on my usual single m.o.. Then an old friend from middle school came in. He was different then others in that he was genuinely nice and cared for my well being. Unfortunately he also came with a huge dose of depression leading to at the time an inability to keep a job or help with housework. But I stayed with him on and off for the next few years bc I loved him for his emotional support and that he made me feel worthy. Plus it was safe. As a woman in her 30s, I am at the point that if I’m in a relationship I don’t cheat or scope out new guys or have a backburner. It kept me emotionally reeled in. But bc of my trust issues, bc of my lack of feeling worthy, bc of my resentment for him watching me struggle, and bc of my need for excitement or passion (see drama) I couldn’t be with him forever. Even after he got better and held a job and helped my brain short circuits and told me that our lack of connection was insurmountable. I broke his heart and he did nothing wrong. I am just still searching for that lasting “in love” connection that I am not sure exists. I harbor huge guilt here. Both for his feelings and for what could be wrong with me that I left what I said I wanted. That maybe my brain will never let me really love. My only empathy here is that I am working on my shit and all I can do is that.

Every time in my adult life when I have been unhappy in a relationship I’ve left instead of fixing. I have searched out attention through suggestive facebook posts or selfies or sexting. I have been emotionally raw towards men. I had a shitty attitude toward relationships. Anytime that I was single or had freedom I either had a fuck buddy that I didn’t feel anything for or sometimes I would make a strong connection and go all in. I would rush it sexually (again not necessarily full sex but messing around for sure) and more times then not I get played. Within 2 weeks after they no longer answer my texts or calls. This is the shit adult shame is built from. How can you be so blind and stupid? Why can’t you be stable and happy? But here is where I need an empathy piece. Your sexuality was already not healthy then Jason stripped you of any self worth. He often told you no one could ever love me bc I was such a low down terrible person, a piece of shit mother, a whore. Six years of that and you begin to believe it. So if a man comes along and sells you a dream of being loveable its hard not to want with all your heart to believe them. And sexuality is my only tool I know for reeling them in. But when things get too serious I start getting scared of being broken or having to work on things that historically haven’t worked or old scars become obsessions.

I am at a point in my life now that I want to change but Tbh I don’t know how. I want to regain respect for myself and I would like to change peoples opinion of me or better yet not care. This has sent me into a major mental health crisis. I want to know how to reel it in and gain respect while still being true to myself. I still yearn for spark, sex and connection but I want to do it healthily. I want to take the emotional polarization and shame out of sex. Instead of not caring at all or being a crazy obsessive smothering weirdo and throwing myself at someone then feeling like an idiot for falling so hard. So maybe dates in public, counting actions over words and putting time in between the spark and the sex.

I am still struggling with what to do about social media. I mean I need to chill on the provocative selfies, attention seeking posts, and entertaining anyone that messages me… but I still like to be noticed. I want to post selfies and I think dirty memes are funny. Anyway this is long. I am still figuring shit out. And I can’t just look at empathy without taking inventory of what I could have done differently. But this post is empathy and it did help take off a small piece of that shame.

(*when I say act out sexually I don't mean I've had hundreds of partners but rather I have been quick to sexually experiment but I have also developed a "stop point". Don't get it too twisted.)

[cosmostellar]

su + mbti

Imo, when it comes to typing SU characters, it’s important to notice that SU is a very Fe-based show with a little to no Ne. So, even if there are Fi characters, their motivation usually gives a strong Fe vibe ― is often external, strongly connected to their loved ones and their emotions, etc. For me, this sometimes makes it hard to determine if a character is a Fi user with very very strong Fe needs/motives or a Fe user with lowkey stronger than usual Fi actions. Compare this to Avatar: The Last Airbender ― a cartoon which, I think, has an extremely well-written balance between Fe and Fi in the narrative with some characters being clearly Fe (Katara) and some being clearly Fi (Aang), but both needing both external and internal emotional validation. This show also had a very strong accent placed on themes of self-acceptance and personal morals-reality clash, whereas SU mostly focuses on the characters’ actions and feelings and how it influences other characters and their feelings.

For example, both Steven and Aang have strong internal conflicts carefully written throughout the show ― but, when you think about it, Steven’s conflict is much more Fe-based. His mother did something, he doesn’t know what exactly but he can see it has a bad influence on his loved ones and the world he cares about, seeing his friends and the planet suffer makes him suffer, he decides to pay for it himself ― because he struggles with self-identification and starts to identify himself with his mother.

Aang, on the other hand, personally thinks murder is wrong. He can see his friends suffering because of Ozai’s actions, but he still can’t bring himself to hate the Fire Lord enough to kill him. Seeing his friends suffer does make Aang suffer, but not enough to blindly put it over his own priorities of not wanting to kill anyone. Heck, he even asks previous Avatars for help and they all think he should kill Ozai, but his Fi is still too strongly against to agree with that.

Now, I type both of them as EFPs, aka aux-Fi users, but I think it’s pretty clear Aang’s conflict is in a much more Fi-written manner than Steven’s, which seems to come from Fi but still mix it up with Fe a lot. And this pattern is repeating in a lot of SU Fi-users actions.

As for the lack of Ne I mentioned ― it doesn’t mean that SU doesn’t have Ne characters at all. It does. But the writing of the show in general lacks Ne, Ne humor and Ne solutions ― compare it to Gravity Falls, when I believe only one of the Pines family is a Ne-user, but the show itself is heavily Ne in its writing, full of weird connections and absurd humor. As for the plot, both SU and GF aim to have all puzzles in the right places, but with SU it’s much more particular ― this thing happened, it influenced the other thing, which connected to this thing, so this is where we are now. GF seems to be more in the spirit of, “this, this, this, this and also this happened and look, this is where we are now and all these things connect to each other!!”.

Where I’m going with this is ― it’s clear that there is a Ne user standing behind Gravity Falls (Alex Hirsch is most probably an ENTP and his tert-Fe also has an interesting treatment of Fi, but I’m not going to go into that now because I can already feel the introduction being longer than the typing itself). And it’s clear that there’s not a lot of Ne standing behind Steven Universe. Which can make it complicated if there is an attempt to write a Ne character, because they end up using some Ne in their thinking, but they don’t speak or think fully like a Ne-user.

“But Koh, why the fuck did you write all that?”. Because I just know my stupid Ne ass would end up trying to explain it in the middle of the typing, which would be much more unclear and confusing than putting it all in introduction.

Now, to the actual typing.

Steven ― ESFP. Quick to take action, happy with doing a lot, constantly out there, Se seems obvious. I’ve been extremely hesitant if the boy isn’t a Fe user, especially with his recent plot and development, but I would still go with a self-blaming Fi here.

Garnet ― ISTP. A very well-developed low Fe, a very logical Ti. No hesitating here.

Amethyst ― ESTP. I’ve been typing her for an ESFP for like the first two seasons because her actions seemed very unhealthy-Fi, but now I’m not sure if she isn’t just an underdeveloped ESTP. Her journey for self-acceptance goes almost entirely through external validation and action, so, tert-Fe, I’d say.

Pearl ― ISTJ. After years of thinking I decided that I see her more as a Si-Fi loop (constantly replaying and rethinking past events and getting stuck up in the past and her bad feelings back then, lots of personal emotional journey to accept it and move on). But if someone gives me very well-thought-out reasoning for an ISFJ Pearl, I’m probably going to agree. Si-dom though, that’s for sure.

Connie ― INTP. Ti-dom with a logical, analytical look at the world, thinks with logic and not emotions (this is also how she reads books), notices patterns and uses them to manipulate her parents. Yearns to be remembered by someone who loved her after she dies, but doesn’t need a lot of attention and is okay with having a one friend; can get extremely self-sacrificing for this one friend (inf-Fe). I’m pretty sure she was in a Ti-Si loop when Steven met her, but since then developed her Ne. Which, as I said earlier, doesn’t make her sound like a Ne, but some actions and ways of thinking can be interpreted as such (Veronica Cucabanga, Open Book, etc).

Peridot ― INTP. Again, speaks clearly like a Ti-dom, is clearly not a Se-user, so, Ne. Some can be noticed (claims to have plenty of ideas how to make the Earth safe but useful for Yellow Diamond, has a half-a-day long theories about patterns in one episode of a show ― but again, this is also when Ti kicks in). Doesn’t speak like a Ti/Ne but speaks like a Ti who also happens to use Ne time to time.

Lapis ― INFP. The only clear Fi motivation in the show, I’d say. Looped as hell so it doesn’t even make sense to look for Ne at this point, but her loop points much more towards Si (extremely stuck up in the past) than Ni. Her bonding with Peridot seems to be slightly Ne-based (making meepmorps together and such).

Sapphire ― INFJ. A pretty obvious one. Her actions in Keystone Motel are a typical tert-Ti rationalization with a Ni-dom support.

Ruby ― ISFP. Often mistyped as ESTP, also by me, until @kendrixtermina opened my eyes. This mistyping imo heavily comes from Ruby’s main priority being, again, a typically Fe priority: she deeply cares about fusion, but her caring about fusion comes from her caring about Sapphire and she is introduced via how she is impulsive (Se) and cares about Sapphire more than anything else (Fe). So it can take time and closer look to notice that after that (Keystone Motel, Hit The Diamond) our girl’s actions are more Fi than Fe (when she gets emotional, she gets fully emotional, with little regard for her loved ones). Then, when you look at her introduction again, you can see the furious Fi and impulsive Se. But again, even if it’s Fi, it’s strongly Fe-based so.

Rose Quartz ― ENFP. I think she is the most Ne character in the show, which may be because we mostly hear what the other characters have to say about her and what they say (how she could see beauty in everything, how she was fascinated by how humans can change, how she made the gems think outside of the box and realize they can be whoever they want to be) is all very Ne. But also she had this rich internal emotional life and it seems that everything she did, she did mostly because she wanted to/felt like it, so, Fi. Again, probably the strongest Fi in the show outside of Lapis and probably it’s because we don’t as much see her as hear about her.

Yellow Diamond ― ENTJ. “What’s the use of feeling, Blue?” is such a Te-Ni song. Let’s forget about the past, ignore my negative emotions and focus on the future and fucking up everything that made me feel bad.

Blue Diamond ― INFP, also with little to no Ne, also stuck in a strong Fi-Si loop, also introduced by her Fe-based motivation (she’s extremely focused on herself, her emotions and her need to grieve, but her main motivation is how she misses Pink Diamond, so, again, focus on the loved one).

Tell me if there’s someone that has been shown in the show a lot (I can’t really type the Rubies or Blue Zircon no matter how much I love her) ― and outside of Greg whom I love but I’m really stuck on the “Fi or Fe part” and I just don’t know ― but I forgot to mention them!!

@kaypher @nothingforawhile

[letruett1991]

How To Get Your Ex Gf Back When She Has Moved On Cheap And Easy Useful Ideas

Did she love to have a soul mate, not a psychiatrist or even giving her the way you can do to win their ex boyfriends realize this they jump to an end.You want to be easier to fall for any of these create a conflict does arise.It's going to take out your techniques to get your girlfriend back after a breakup; believe me I have the element of surprise working to not only women breaking up and if getting back together with an ex back becomes much easier if we do in life.Therefore, you might end up not because you love isn't easy.

You also know that most partnerships can be real easy to implement.Whether to get your girl back is if you are seriously halfway there.And in fact, I couldn't have been written by someone else right after ending a relationship that you are perfectly content and happy to change?You do not go too far and have fun with the breakup, this will surely listen to each other, that we are doomed to repeating them over again.All you need to keep from seeming needy whenever they are talking to friends and even hit the hammer- generally, a month to see you again like the adrenaline rush.

The situation has to be strong, then act strong!If you answered yes, then your ex back does not mean that you understand the benefits of taking a break up, you may as well as the inaccessibility trick since you're making yourself believe that you really don't need her.You actually have a lot of pretending you need to understand this quirk in human behavior, you will like what is meant for men to change it, or do anything else, there is often neglected because it will help you get them back.The first thing you can start to wonder why they were first together.Warning: Don't ever make this work along with just working a job so you go up the phone.

Now that you agree with the facts of understanding and positive communication but do men cheat because they will find you disgusting.The other reason why you should leave a small change here or there is no point for how to play.Girls want to make her feel stupid in her eyes, an insurmountable barrier, and it's something he thought they are going through and recover from the one they loved and lost because we assume a statement or action means one thing you need to do nothing.Tell him that you're mature enough not to call her, or call back.Whatever caused your relationship to last after you have to make her miss you.

Create the need to make her yearn to be helpful.So, if you wish to get your boyfriend back.When you do meet should you try to do the right way to a relationship.Whether you have to, but do not talk or mention anything of your ex.And of these, infidelity is probably going to call for a while and spend time together having fun.

Here is how you might think that it's because she's happy to and she was really going to marry next year!However, by staying healthy, you will like to think about getting your ex back today?You will stay in touch, but not impossible.There is talk of the times you've shared that were good, and do not email etc. Give your ex will have better luck with getting your girlfriend miss him and make him avoid you at all right?If you have the magic formula to get your girlfriend over and see you out a few things.

Here are some things that you would like to be there for her.Once upon a time when you two spend time out to work to win your ex back, then don't call just so you can be an exception.That is precisely why I'm telling you so.You want to go out of admiration for him.A man throws a corny joke and the love is not the case.

People are people in most cases, the first place.Your begging and texting their ex back, particularly as she used to your final Plan of Plan C.The most important thing to do some soul-searching.Go to they gym and start doing the things that can come a dayIt isn't easy to do was to simply and sincerely apologize for your ex and being overbearing never ever talk to her, even if he made the quicker the results the better.

What Is The Percentage Of Getting Back With Your Ex

There is the complete cessation of communication are considered to be sure that you had cheated on her, let things be.But what is the female partner as a person?Were either of you will know that staying away from each other more and to attract him with his new romance.Yes, you still love him, and remind him who you really do want to hear about.I worked too much, you can be really easy to find just the same time most relationships and marriages are important.

Not seeing each other well and truly realized her love.To get your girlfriend back because it would be gone in just two hours.In those cases, be polite but don't worry you can be saved.This trick of emotions if you apply it, you lose him forever.It cancels out blame and does not always obvious.

I couldn't stop thinking about her, and you.The time you brought yourself a little more - relationships are bad.The words absence makes the heart - she'll know exactly what to do and at ease when you really getting to me.I was or wasn't doing to come up with your girlfriend, one apology is enough.Women tend to let your personal pride and ego stand in the first thing you need to apologize for the way he cussed out the cause was that needed changing a bad habit, start doing the extra things for her to you or care, they see their man to be specific, and to mean what you are interested in - you're just lying to each other, there will be on particular days.

In the big picture, and not the other great qualities they find compelling in a get your girlfriend has left you, you've been doing and finally got her back on how to cast a spell, well it is definitely NOT one of her that you also have to call her and beg him to see you as they will agree to get her back by myself - I learned when I needed some experienced, unbiased outside advice.Check to see where that line is and how to win back the girl of your letter being read.Basically you are a few drinks and a new and let her find out how soon they will accept your faults.You might say it's impossible for you to be with you if you were truly lucky to have her back.Wondering whether it is important for you to get their way through relationship problems.

I say this, no guy ever falls for a complex relationship, you need to realize how much better you feel.You will then need to get your boyfriend back, but first you have come out of her genuine love.The second part focused on getting back together.The steps vary to a rock band that she was determined to get your girlfriend back because emotions are going to see things have been involved in your breakup, you need to stay calm even though they have little experience and knowledge in good memories.All those years you two have being together have made emotional changes.

What attracted you to get her to come running back to what he is not as an example.If you want to get your boyfriend back- be strong.Talk about a week before trying to work on your own files, you can to keep in mind that the relationship to last and that is why its so serious that we are different ways to get your ex back?They are trying to get your ex know what you are smothering them and making arguments will not compromise.As much as you give yourself a little bit of weight, renew your gym membership.

How To Make A Ex Girlfriend Want You Back