#I’m down but not covid but still | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deadfileinthecabinet · 2 years

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I hate winter. I swear.

#it’s too cold #I’m down but not covid but still #it’s irritating #cough #this cough is bad #how is it this dry in winter #I Need humidity #give me heat

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 1 year

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words can’t express how much i love him, his courage and fearlessness of expression in everything he creates is pure magic 🖤

#this is his day and he deserves ALL the love and appreciation in the world #what did i even do with my life before i found this man’s music??#at the time of posting i actually haven’t sat down and listened to omb yet because i’m still super ill with covid #and don’t want to associate miles’s new album with that lol #but the little cd/t-shirt/signed print pack arrived today and god did it cheer me up just seeing it #these photos from the booklet are just my absolute favourite 💗#i can’t wait until i’m well enough to listen to the album properly #i know it’s going to destroy me in the best way possible #i’ve literally been so excited for this moment for months and the singles off it he’s already released are some of my favourite songs ever #so so proud of him and everything he’s done to make this beautiful music and infinitely grateful to him for sharing it with us 💜#miles kane #one man band #lulu posts

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sea-critter · 11 months

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all i know is leslie would have still been masking up and i’m proud of that.

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shima-draws · 2 years

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Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all!!

#Shima speaks #Sooooo I ended up giving my dad AND my sister Covid LMAO #So we’re all pretty much down for the count #My mom is the only one who hasn’t caught it #But she’s had it before so #We’re all no longer covid virgins 😔#Lol hope the rest of you are having a good holiday!#I’m still sick but I’m definitely feeling better than I did a couple days ago so #And I got a lot of good gifts for Christmas :’D

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magpiesbones · 20 days

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worst thing about being disabled is that now I am fully and completely aware of exactly how much I am worth to everyone I know. And it is not a lot!!

#like. it gets to me. A lot of the time it’s ohhh your life is priceless and. Well. Okay I did just see you put a price on it though.#like. It’s not always blatant but the laziness comments get to me. The stupid comments get to me. The money comments also get to me.#Either all life is precious or I am a drain on society. you cannot have both.#Why is my life worth less than twenty dollars. Better yet why are YOU gambling with MY life. wear your FUCKING masks.#like I’m usually fine bc I simply do not have the capacity for any more shit. I am existing in less dimensions than most ppl and Not Aware #And then when I am better I experience two entire years of Concentrated Cosmic Horror before I fold back down into being two dimensional #Cosmic horror? Eldritch horror? I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW. what I do know is that I straight up Do Not believe in the soul anymore bc of this!#like I’m horrified!! It is literally horrifying. If I still had all of me I could write some deeply fucked up metaphor but rn what I’ve got #Is like. okay so I’m supposed to be like. A galaxy on the inside folded into a person shape. Right #there’s stuff happening in there. three to five trains of thought at once etc. etc. and that is not what I have anymore. what I have now is #like. One planet and a white dwarf. not even a neutron star. And everything else went out so gradually that I didn’t really notice but #I woke up one morning and it’s not there and then I got into the habit of not looking up bc that’s a lot of work and I have to keep paintin #galaxies on the ash of this stupid little planet. And then I experience random bandaid treatment and Have The Knowledge again and.#I get to experience Plato’s allegory of the cave in REAL TIME and involuntarily!!#It really does suck that the only time I am able to comprehend the magnitude of my loss is when I’m not experiencing it!! bad times!!#I’m tired of being agreeable. Wear masks. Petition for air purifiers in public spaces. Or I start biting for real #if you notice I’m dealing with long covid a. BADLY. you’re right!! Gold fucking star! I challenge ANYONE to deal with The Bullshit actually #I’m not going to let myself be martyred for the fucking. Economy. Bull FUCKING shit.

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ghoul--doodle · 2 months

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WHY DO I COUGH WORSE AT NIGHT

#IM TRYING TO SLEEP MF PISS OFF #I’m covid free but I’m still coughing and congested #however. my cough doesn’t bother me that bad during the day or even when I lay down #ONLY when I try to sleep does it flare up like ‘aha!!! perfect timing!!! cough time!!!!’#fuck offffff #this is a rhetorical question btw lol

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chronicillnesscaneffoffplease · 5 months

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Tell me you have gastroparesis without telling me you have gastroparesis: I am eating salted lime jelly while cooking my soup of the week. Semi-liquids ftw.

#ups and downs of chronic illness #gastrointestinal fuckery #gastroparesis #my gastroparesis is like moderate grade but my symptoms are relately managed #I’m usually getting all I need nutritionally I just suffer occasionally #I’m lucky that my reflux is well managed on meds that I’ll be on forever #I ran out of them over Easter which was bit of a palava #but nice to know they do their job!#I seem to be in bit of a flare atm #I think because I recently got my covid booster shot and my body had a tough time with it #not as bad as I could have been but still not fun #anyway I’m standing at the stove starting my soup thinking this’ll take a while I should eat something in the interim #when what do I see but the lime jelly I made recently #also it’s jelly not jello fight me americans #I love aeroplane jelly #aeroplane jelly for meeeeeeeee #also the salt is bc it tastes nice as a counterpoint to the sweetness. but also pots high sodium diet shenanigans #gotta get my salt where ever I can

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formulapisces · 9 months

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i almost fainting for the second time ever i’m going to cry why do i always get so sick in december

#i’m so ill and my dad went to czechia for his job so i have to do all of the work in the house because my mum has covid and sister is sick #i think it’s because i suddenly started taking so many medications at the same time #i’m mostly better now but i’m still lightheaded #and i started hearing this noise which really scared me #the first time i fainted i was about 13 too so it was a while ago now #i’m absolutely going to lose more of my hearing from this illness #all i tried doing was making food and it was too much standing up for 10 minutes #i’m laying down now watching stray kids music videos so there’s that 😭#that scared me so badly my emetophobia which i thought i got over came back in about 2 seconds #sob sob sob

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cuteniaarts · 5 months

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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

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szczylpierdolony · 6 months

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life is falling through my fingers more that usually

#i’ve been in a pretty much constant state of panic since january #and it’s gotten worse recently bc of 1. thesis writing (or lack thereof)#2. administrative problems at uni that i caused due to the constant state of anxiety and depression #like whyyyy do things like going to the uni office send me spiraling like nothing else #and i’ve been feeling weird and disconnected for a while now and nothing seems to interest me anymore #like i’m light headed in the worst way and i think if one thing goes badly i’ll genuinely fall down crying #and i can’t seem to do anything productive bc of the anxiety either #ok i checked usos. the administrative problem got more or less solved #oh thank god #i love depression loveee it love causing problems for myself that i later have to bother other people about bc i can’t solve them by myself #esp when you have to admit to them that mental illness is what caused them bc even when they’re sympathetic and nice about it i still feel #like such a pathetic idiot my god #also i’ve been thinking a lot abt how a pattern that repeats in my life is the lack of closure #from silly things to more serious ones #like how i didn’t attend my elementary school graduation nor the hs one #the first one bc of travelling and the second bc of covid #so i just closed my laptop and then went to pick up my diploma after matura results and that was it i never saw any of my teachers or #thanked them etc #and how all my friendships that died out were this kind of sudden drop like nothing happened but we just stopped talking one day and that #was it and idk where we stand #and how i seem to leave loose threads everywhere i go and i can’t tell if it’s just a coincidence or if i do that on purpose but #unconciously so as to not have to deal with things ending bc that scares me #i’ve never felt grounded in any moment and it’s so strange #also yeah yeah weird behaviour meant to save me from abandonment whatever #📓#niedziela wieczór i humor popsuty co mogę powiedzieć

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kamek · 1 year

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i’m so miserable

#the fact that i masked the most consistantly out of my family both then and now (when covid spread around my family)#and i’m the only one who fucking got long covid from it #i’m still so upset. it isn’t fucking fair. i do the most to protect myself and others and i get fucked over for the rest of my life #i get several nights a week where i cant fall asleep before 5-6am if im fucking lucky because i simply cannot breathe laying down #i mean i cant the rest of the week either it just is worse some nights #literally feeling at the end of my rope tonight becayse theres still no leads towards getting better after nearly 2 years

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flower-studded-sake-dish · 8 months

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ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight

#been making an attempt to play more touhou lately #last year i had to accept finally that i’m not gonna feel satisfied spending my video game time playing competitive multiplayer games #and so filling that gap with learning to play beyond easy mode has me feeling more satisfied #and i think it’s easier for me to limit my time playing when it’s something like touhou where i can do a full run or two #with multiplayer games i’m just never satisfied and so it’s easy to continue playing #anyways once i beat IN i think i’m gonna try for UM or SA next #it’s also fun playing IN cuz like i play reimu in every game but the malice cannon gives me a reason not to #i just like the homing shots cuz i feel like i get more rewarded for dodging #it’s kinda a marisa-esque feeling tho because i just want to do as much damage as possible #i also played melee with a friend for a while this evening and feel like my falco is coming along well #getting myself to draw daily and practice my bass regularly and learn new things #just felt more satisfied with life the last 6 months and i think it shows?#there’s still down weeks but i’m still pushing myself more than i have since covid started #i think the daily workouts i’ve been doing for the last couple years are the like core for this #self-discipline is hard but i’m getting better at it every day #it plays touhou

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anachronisticmech · 8 months

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When my brain actually comes up with a good idea for my mechsona FUCKK