#I’m having many thoughts and feelings over how much izzy matters to ed

[mossiestpiglet]

I can’t stop thinking about how Ed needed Izzy to die first before he tried to kill himself. No one else actually mattered to him at all; Frenchie, Jim, Fang, it’s debatable if he even knows Archie’s name- they’re just accessories to his own death. But Izzy’s death mattered enough that he had to intimidate Frenchie into revealing Izzy’s location just so that Ed could go and leave Izzy with a gun knowing exactly what he would do when left alone with it. He needed Izzy to die first because he knew Izzy would try to stop him. He needed Izzy to die first because he needed everyone who loved him to be gone. He needed Izzy to die first because no matter how much he could hurt Izzy, could walk him right up to the very edge of death, Ed could never be the one to actually kill Izzy himself. If Ed was going to take them all down at the end of the day, Izzy had to already be dead by his own hand because Ed couldn’t do it. Not to Izzy.

[adzeisval]

A Curse is a Curse

Chapter Three: What is real and what is not.

Izzy tries to figure out a way to tell when he's dreaming.

Also on AO3. Chapter one is here, and two is here.

Izzy was going to try to break the bracelet off again once the day’s raid was done. There had to be a way that wasn’t chopping his own hand off. Nothing seemed to be able to cut through or break the metal, Izzy couldn’t get it off his wrist no mater how much he bent his fingers almost to the point of dislocating or breaking them. 

If the bracelet stayed on he was going to go mad. 

No matter how drunk he got, no matter what he tried he would dream every night. And they were horrible dreams, and they felt so real. Ed died in most of the dreams. The crew did too. They lingered all day. 

“We’re approaching the next target Captain,” Izzy said as he entered the cabin. Izzy could smell the booze and Ed looked like shit, a bad night then. Izzy would have to keep a close eye on him during the raid. 

Luckily the merchant ship wasn’t well armed and fell quickly. Another ship down. Many, many more to go. Ed didn’t seem to be in a good mood even with the successful raid and Izzy didn’t know what to do. 

He didn’t know what to do about any of it. Ed was hurting and miserable and Izzy didn’t know what to do. 

“Is there anything you need, Captain?” 

“You were a little too close during the raid.” 

“Sorry,” Izzy said. He wasn’t sure where Ed was going with it but feeling like it wasn’t going to be a good thing. 

“I’m just so tired,” Ed said. 

Izzy tried to think of what to say that would make Ed feel better or at least not go off and drink himself near death. He didn’t know. He was a fucking idiot when it came to this. 

As Izzy tried to think of something Ed suddenly pulled out a pistol and Izzy knew he was going to use it on himself. 

“Eddie no!” Izzy lunged for the gun and tried to pull the gun away. He didn’t know if Ed was really going to do it or if the gun was even loaded but he wasn’t going to risk it. He couldn’t…

The gun fired. 

Izzy knew he didn’t have to worry about Ed. He knew because of the searing pain in his chest, knew because he could already taste blood at the back of his throat. Izzy felt dizzy and weak and fell to his knees. He put his hands to his chest as he gasped for air. 

Fuck. Oh fuck. 

He looked up at Ed who stared down at him with a blank look on his face. Izzy slumped over onto his side while Ed remained motionless. Izzy didn’t have the strength to speak and wasn’t even sure what he would say. 

Izzy’s blood spread out onto the floor as the world around him went cold and dim. He’d failed everything and he was out of time to make things right. 

Izzy cried out and ran his hands over his chest. Nothing. A nightmare. Fuck that wasn’t real. It felt so real. He was certain he was awake. It felt like he was awake. It felt like he had been shot. He had truly felt like he was dying. 

If the dreams were getting so realistic how the fuck was he supposed to know if he was still awake? The pain had been so real, everything had been so real. He looked at his hand with the bracelet on it and thought about chopping it off to get the fucking thing off. 

It was stupid. There was no such thing as magic or curses but he couldn't deny that what was happening had to do with the bracelet. 

Izzy didn’t know what to do.

“This is happening, think about it practically,” Izzy said. The first problem was the fact that he couldn’t tell the difference between reality and dreams. He had to figure that out first or else there would be no way to figure out what the dreams meant or what they were trying to do. 

“How the fuck to I figure out when I’m dreaming and when I’m awake?” 

There had to be something he could do, some simple thing that would let him know. Then maybe he could experiment a bit in the dreams without having real world repercussions. Or if he was annoyed enough he could just go off in one of the dreams and then get back to business. 

The next dream, at least the next possible dream, he went around to the crew and asked if they could see the bracelet he was wearing. He knew for certain that they couldn’t see it in real life and fuck him they couldn’t see it in the dream either. That dream ended with Ed crashing them into a sandbar and they all died. 

The dream after that he looked for some sort of tell in the crew and Ed. Some detail that was wrong or out of place. A tattoo missing, a haircut years old, something they wouldn’t likely say or do in real life. None of those seemed to work and the Revenge went down in a storm. 

Real life didn’t seem real. Raid after raid during the day, the horrible dreams at night. Izzy thought he might be going mad. 

Another dream and he just wanted to get it over with. He almost felt like just staring at the sun the whole time and…wait…fuck…wait just a fucking minute! Izzy did end up staring at the sun because he realized that it didn’t move. The clouds didn’t move. There was a breeze he could feel but the sky never changed. Or rather didn’t change like it should. He thought back to the dream before when the ship sunk in a storm and he couldn't remember seeing the storm coming. It was just suddenly there. 

“The fucking weather,” Izzy said. Well it was fucking stupid but it was a start.

[quillyfied]

Okay next batch of episode thoughts that I don’t know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it we’re doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART TWO:

- “that’s six inches of silver in your scapula” MADAM.

- They’re doing an amazing job of showing Izzy in a pure pathetic state. I still have a lot of conflicted emotions about him but his increased confidence and ease around the ship BECAUSE the crew is taking time to be kind to him is…it’s. I don’t. GOLD UNICORN LEG OKAY. THE CARE THEY ARE SHOWING HIM AND HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT AND HE KNOWS IT AND HE BELIEVES IT BUT IT IS CHANGING HIM FOR THE BETTER ANYWAY.

- once again my expectations are being undercut. Of course Buttons isn’t the rabbit. Silly of me to think that. Of course he isn’t going to screw up turning into a seagull. He’s Buttons.

- …he’s coming back, though, right?? Guys Buttons is coming back at some point, right????

- Hang on have to go giggle about Izzy dragging himself across the floor mumbling existential horrors and shouting at the unicorn and then barking at people knocking on his door.

- Also have to giggle about the two halves of the crew coming at each other trying to help in two different ways and talking it through on their own, without Stede’s direct interference. I’m so proud of them.

- Wee John might just be slowly transforming into a mermaid. And I want his sweater.

- Ed referring to himself and the rabbit as lone wolves but immediately imprinting on the thing—and it not leaving him, either.

- HES SCARED OF SPIDERS

- How instantly Ed is glad to see Mary and Anne though. And the secret handshake with Anne. I cry.

- I also cry over how Anne instantly smells blood in the water with Stede before even knowing his connection to Ed.

- Like I guess Buttons not coming back makes sense bc he gave the most profound advice of the entire show and then flew off as a seagull, thereby completing his life’s dream, but have they considered the fact that I will miss him.

- (And so will the crew)

- I love that Ed and Stede finally have it out and get to a point where they can start to heal. I also find it so interesting to see the difference in what the fandom thought would be important to bring up, and what the show itself seems important to bring up. Stede could have blamed Badminton for his cowardice, but he doesn’t; he owns it and makes a greater stride towards mending things with Ed and being better himself. Ed could have mentioned what Izzy said to him, but instead he’s starting to work at the greater issue of his own self-loathing and how that drove him to harming the crew. It’s entirely possible that those details will come up later, but. I think Izzy has a point when he says it’s better to patch things with fiction (or silence) than never moving on. And maybe the hashing out of this stuff belongs to fanfic, not to canon. Because the events themselves don’t matter so much to canon as does what those events represented and THAT is what is getting fixed and addressed.

- Mary Read’s whole thing about “this is what an adult relationship looks like.” I have so many conflicted personal feelings about it. The summary: never been in a romantic relationship before and now at an age where I’ve witnessed plenty but I’m terrified of how I’ll be if and when that ever happens for me, bc the only experiences I’ve got is watching others and fiction. And I just was listening to both my mom and sister in law talking about how so many women my sil’s age have gotten divorced bc their expectations for what a marriage is were unrealistic, how marriage is more like a business transaction. And I was too scared to ask for clarification at the time. And I really do wonder if Mary has a point, yknow. When the mystery fades and the magic is gone…what’s left? Bc fiction tells us one thing. Real life often tells another. Dying alone doesn’t sound fun but it sounds better than accidentally ruining my and/or someone else’s life based on a false hope, yknow?

- Anyway that’s way too personal time to move on

- TO ANNE SETTING THEIR STIFLING LIFE ABLAZE AND REALLY REKINDLING THAT ROMANCE WITH MARY. HELL YEAH LADIES GET IT.

- I know it’s never gonna be addressed but please can the satanic ship be addressed at some point, even as a throwaway line

- (Also patiently awaiting the literal translation of what the dying priest was saying)

- PUT STEDE BACK IN FINE FABRICS 1717

- The absolute ball you know they were all having with this episode. Rhys Darby your FACE when screaming at Izzy after he reiterates that it’s cursed.

- Just the sheer hope in Ed’s face as he witnesses Buttons(?) fly away, as he submits to the jumpsuit and cat bell, the enthusiasm with which he jumps in to go fishing with Fang. The man is going through it but I love seeing him so earnest

- LUCIUS THO. SO MANY THOUGHTS. First and foremost I want his outfit this season, forget Stede’s cursed suit for a minute let’s talk about how Lucius is SERVING this season (and why it’s making me more hopeful for ABBA on the soundtrack at some point)

- How Pete gets through to him by pointing out that HE LIVED BITCH. TALK ABOUT A PERSPECTIVE CHANGE. Also the various blackbeard doodles I’m dying

- Izzy turning the tables on Lucius. I love a good parallel.

- Pete tho. Marry the F out of that man, Lu, he’s a keeper.

- “Loner artsy types” EXPLAIN CALICO JACK TO ME

- AND ALSO I NEED NAMES AND DESCRIPTIONS OF THESE OTHER ARTSY LONER TYPES

- Fang is such a wonderful character and we are so blessed to have him. I was a little wary that Fang was going to try and off (or offload) Ed just to make the crew feel better, but what we got was so much softer and better. Teaching Ed in such a gentle and honest way to examine himself! To sit with himself and learn to value the company! Telling Ed that he’s been crossing boundaries for a long time and giving Ed space to apologize and process! HIS NAME IS KEVIN AND IT’S A FOUR HUNDRED YEAR OLD TRADITION.

- Listen. Listen. Listen. Shirtless Con O’Niell is. A gift. That shirtlessness belonging to the character of Izzy is a little more of a conflict for me but given that Izzy has entered his “little shit and owning it” phase, I’m inclined to enjoy it.

- Also the SHEER BALLS on Stede Bonnet to manipulate Izzy into teaching him some piracy bits. That little stutter when Izzy tries to act unaffected but still asks what Blackbeard said about him. I’m just. Omg.

- And the way Stede sucks at the practicality but he excels at the instinctive/emotional bits. How he’s so creative and genuine and absolutely won his crew’s respect and loyalty and continues to prove that he’s worth it. I ADORE Stede Bonnet.

- Okay I gotta I gotta I gotta: KISS NUMBER TWOOOOOOO. I’ve only kissed one person in my time so far but I remember the moment after that initial dam break, when it occurred to me that I was allowed to kiss this person again; something about the casual way Ed and Stede both lean in just feels the same way to me. Like this is their new normal and they like it. And ADORE Ed setting a boundary and Stede immediately respecting it. AND. THE FINGERS. THE PLAYING. Comparing their games to what Anne and Mary get up to, it does make me hopeful that a mature relationship can be comfortable and playful and sweet and not just a grind or a business transaction. Idk man.

- Now I fully forgot that the episodes have post credits scenes so my reactions to them are not included here but I’ll be rewatching all five episodes later tonight so maybe a separate little baby post about them later.

[thatgirlonstage]

The (Alleged) Death of Lucius Spriggs

This was originally a twitter thread but I liked what I articulated in this meta enough that I wanted to copy it over here as well. Context: I finished binging the show and promptly had a lot of thoughts about what the scene where Blackbeard tips Lucius overboard is doing thematically and narratively. Enjoy!

———

So.

The bathtub scene, right.

A few things to establish up front:

One, I did not fully appreciate the impact of Lucius going overboard in the moment bc I didn’t realize the season ended on a bad time cliffhanger and I absolutely assumed he was gonna turn up alive again before the end. It shifts my thoughts a lot that he did not.

Two, I’m still pretty sure he’ll turn up alive if/when we get s2 — whether he got back onboard and is living in the walls, or Calico Jack floated by in a rowboat and pulled him out of the water, or what. But as far as Blackbeard knows right now, he’s dead. That was the intention. And because of the way the season ended, bc they didn't tease his survival as certainty, we the audience are left to at least speculate what it means if he’s really dead.

Three, One Can Argue that if “technically the fire killed them” is Ed’s excuse for how he didn’t ACTUALLY KILL the people on the boat in that story, then he could look at Lucius’s death as “technically the water killed him." And I think it does matter, actually, that Ed tipped him overboard instead of putting a knife in his ribs! Or without putting a knife in his ribs first and then tipping him over to get rid of the body. Put a pin in that, I’ll get back to it. But even in the land of playing with technicalities to survive the crushing weight of your own guilt, there’s something different between setting a fire and leaving people to their fate, and physically hurling a grown man into the ocean. They’re gonna feel different.

So the bathtub scene, right.

I kind of eyebrow raise at Ed’s assertion that he’s never killed ANYONE else — much like Bat “I don’t kill” man tossing men off a wall, there are things this guy does that are going to be deadly even if he doesn’t mean them to be. I mean you’re living on pirate ships in the 18th century my guy, how many of those severed toes turned septic.

But let’s take him at his word that he’s never intentionally and personally delivered a proximately fatal injury since he murdered his father, bc I don’t think he’s supposed to be lying in that scene at all.

(If anything, the fact that he’s desperate to separate himself from a lot more deaths that he would most certainly bear legal and ethical responsibility for, just says a great deal about how badly he’s been coping with death and violence ever since he first set foot on a pirate ship.)

Ed, then, by tipping Lucius overboard, is doing something that the popular vision of Blackbeard attributes to him without question, but that Ed himself has only ever done once in his life before: deliberately murdering a man with his own two hands. No crew. No Izzy. Just him.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to speculate that this was a test Ed set for himself: if he couldn’t throw Lucius overboard, then he couldn’t be the kraken. He couldn’t be Blackbeard. If he hesitated, if he failed, then everything goes differently. He is in effect sinking himself deeper into the identity of Blackbeard than before: if Blackbeard was originally a mask of performance and fuckery that he put on for his reputation, now he is trying to behave like Blackbeard would, crossing lines he’s kept between "Blackbeard" and "Ed" for years. Even with no one around to witness.

To return to the pin: is there still plausible deniability (to himself) in leaving Lucius to drown? Yeah, some. Imo, it’s a marker of the fact that he knows his limits: he probably wouldn't have managed a knife into Lucius’s heart. He would have hesitated, and he didn't want to hesitate. So he picked the middle ground: something certain to be fatal, and enacted by his own two hands, but still with a sliver of distance from stabbing or strangling or shooting. It’ll be interesting (IF WE GET ANOTHER SEASON) to see what he does as this continues, bc I could see him gearing up into more and more violence and direct murder. Equivalently, though, you could definitely write him continuing to break down in such a way that he never does it again.

Either way, though: let’s talk about WHY LUCIUS

(the thing I really wanted to get to with this long ramble lol)

There are a few obvious answers from a diegetic character perspective:

Lucius, of everyone on the crew, is most similar to Stede: he’s literate, intelligent, clearly has some cultural education. He has soft hands; he does not do physical labor, he doesn’t fight: he scribes.

Lucius is the one who saw their relationship happening most clearly, arguably before either Stede or Ed saw it themselves. He encouraged and bullied Ed into making himself vulnerable and available to Stede, he told Ed off for leaving, HE TOLD ED STEDE CARED FOR HIM

He’s the most emotionally perceptive and insightful member of the crew, which arguably makes him the most dangerous as Ed executes his coup into Blackbeard. It was important to eliminate him before he could realize something was up and warn the others.

He doesn’t fight, at least not much and not well, which also makes him an easy mark. He trusts Ed, his guard will be down, and he doesn’t have the reflexes for an unexpected attack. If Ed is testing himself, he can be sure it will be done quick, rather than turn into a scuffle and ruin everything.

So from both a practical perspective and a “FUCK you for your shitty relationship advice and for reminding me of his existence” standpoint, there's a lot of reasons Blackbeard wants Lucius gone first.

But this show has fuckin layers and it’s doing things on a thematic level here too. And it 1000% goes back to the “we don’t own each other here” episode that I yelled about in the original thread.*

Because Lucius embodies “we don’t own each other here”. He’s both the mouthpiece and the demonstration of that philosophy. He is openly, swaggeringly confident, joyous, unafraid of himself, his own desires, his strengths, and unashamed of his weaknesses. Telling Izzy he can’t scrape the barnacles is funny, and silly (and there’s a definite sympathetic-to-Izzy angle here of “oh my god I know it’s not fun but you do in fact need to take care of the boat which you live on") but it’s also a demonstration of the fact that Lucius gets, in general, to be treated with respect for his own strengths, without demands that he participate in work that risks jeopardizing those strengths (hurting his hands), even when his strengths don’t line up with a stereotypical pirate.

In other words: Lucius is all the good things about Stede’s crew fully realized.

He’s the thing Stede and Ed could become, if they are given a chance. Not his exact personality, but his confidence and ease at being fully himself, in a way that brings him joy. No one owns Lucius Spriggs. No one dictates how he lives his life. It’s exactly the opposite of Izzy, who wants nothing more than he wants to be owned, to be made in someone else’s image, who clings to the image that other people have of him and of Blackbeard like it’s his only lifeboat. Which is why of course Izzy is the villain and why Izzy and Lucius are foiled so much. (And god bless the writers for making queerness and sexuality an inseparable part of this, that for all these characters the ability to be oneself is deeply tied to love and sex and freedom of choice about those things.)

So to circle all the way back around: Ed doesn’t just throw Lucius overboard for giving him an undeserved shovel talk, he throws Lucius overboard because he is both literally and figuratively throwing away the future Stede’s crew represents. He has to get rid of Lucius, because Lucius is the vision of all the things Ed is deciding that he cannot be.

So it’s a test, for himself: can he be the kraken, can he do it again, can he kill.

And yes, physically Lucius is an easy mark, and a practical one, and also Ed is pissed at him. But it’s another kind of test too: not just can he kill, but can he kill that future specifically. It’s a decision Ed makes, in that moment, not just to be the kraken, not just to kill, but to remove Lucius and thereby remove everything he represents.

Ok thank you for coming to my very rambly TEDTalk, I have so many thoughts and this series is so good and smartly written I could seriously talk about it for days.

———

*I realized after posting that most of this was actually not in my original liveblog but rather on the side account bc that's where I put the majority of my Izzy Hands thoughts for everyone's safety, but this is what I said about that scene:

Hello hi yes I’m losing my mind over Lucius, the tagalong scribe guy for the first few episodes, suddenly being The One In Control when it’s Izzy left to handle the boat by himself and how explicitly it’s about sexuality and seduction and Izzy’s repression. The power dynamics going on here are fascinating.

I am thinking so hard about "we don't know each other here". Just, the number of things built into that

that Izzy tries emotionally manipulative blackmail on Lucius in the first place, rather than just idk threatening to whip him or something

that he *expects the blackmail to work*, bc he ASSUMES Lucius is doing this behind Pete’s back

that Lucius on Stede’s crew is not even slightly ashamed or discomfited or hiding anything about who’s getting naked with and around him

that Lucius doesn’t just identify the threat but *lasers in on* the place and assumptions Izzy is making it from

that the comeback is not “everyone knows, who cares” but instead “you don’t understand ANYBODY ON THIS BOAT”, and also “you don’t get to have that kind of power over me or anyone, not here”

that it’s ALSO “no one will own you either” which is its own kind of threat to izzy

He doesn’t get to be owned which means he is crushingly, excruciatingly alone bc no one WANTS him people only USE him

And Izzy has made himself scary enough and powerful enough that the only person who GETS to use him is Blackbeard, but oh my terrible grimy pirate man, what in your past made you Like This bc it must be something

[littlehollyleaf]

Your Riddler Oracle Au (that you will never write) seriously sounds amazing. You could even add the tragedy kink in with Eddie becoming more and more enticed with the dark side (a 'personal trap' (description stolen from Norman Bates) because of his abusive upbringing) and both Batman and Foxy end up worrying about him as he slips more and more. Kinda like a telltale thing with John Doe, but dealing with Foxy way more, because of the years of love they had. Sorry, too much nerding of your au. 8P

(Au anon being overly annoying over here) it can even include Eddie becoming somewhat enamored with Ozzie, or the idea of Ozzie, similar to that Harley Quinn parallel post you put up earlier. Basically tempting that part of his mind to the dark side.

HI ANON I AM FINALLY REPLYING!

Firstly I just - god bless you for being so excited about my daydream ramblings

I ramble more OVER HERE with more AU thoughts/plotting that touches on Ed being tempted by darkness a little. Cos in my scenario I imagine him still trying/wanting to kill Tom Doughty - it’s just lucky that Foxy stops him in time. Plus I’d keep the whole bit with Eddie in Arkham torturing Bruce and Foxy, so he’d be tapping into his darker, slightly sadistic desires there (though in my scenario I picture him being influenced/brainwashed by Hugo into doing that - which, hi hi, has now been stolen as a plot by the show perhaps?? :p).

In the link above I stop my imagining at the end of S02, but listen... I HAVE SO MANY MORE FOXMA CANON-AU IDEAS, FOR REAL. IT KEEPS ME ENTERTAINED DURING BORING DAYS OKAY?? 

So, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you inspired me to write them down.

Please forgive me for the insanely extensive ramble!

So, as I hint in the link, I was thinking -

S03 Eddie as Chief of Staff to Ozzie plot al a canon

For purposes of ~drama I like to daydream that Eddie is on compulsory sick leave from the GCPD because whatever Hugo did to him at Arkham has been fucking him up a little - causing him to have violent episodes, hallucinations..... basically I guess the mental break that happened after he killed Tom in canon

Foxy has been the wonderful, caring, loving, supportive boyfriend we all know he would be and helping Ed as best he can through all this

Oh they are also totally living together now

But Ed is scared to talk to Foxy about all the dark impulses that Hugo’s tinkering has brought to light in him because Foxy is (so he thinks) all pure and stuff and Ed doesn’t want to burden him or risk scaring Foxy away

Plus Ed is going crazy not being able to work

So one day when he turns up at the GCPD trying to convince Jim to let him come back and is refused (politely and with sympathy) he just SNAPS and RAGE QUITS and stomps out... only to be found moping on the sidewalk a while later by Ozzie

Now Ozzie, like in canon, has grown rather fond of Ed due to Ed nursing him back to health after being shot by Galavan and ofc in this world from Eddie going to visit him in Arkham and then trying to save him from Hugo

So on learning that Ed has been, so Ozzie spins it, ‘fired’ for being ‘violent’ or whatever, Ozzie immediately offers Ed a job helping in his Mayoral campaign

Probably Ed and Ozzie end up having a little chat about violent impulses and the like too, because it’s easier to talk to an infamous violent criminal about such things than it is with a seemingly innocent, saintly boyfriend, causing Ed to immediately warm to the idea of working with Oswald and maybe by doing so being able to unburden himself of his troublesome thoughts/feelings and... maybe even find some possible outlets for them...? ie. being enticed towards darker acts like you suggest anon!

When Ed reveals this to Foxy though, Foxy is... NOT HAPPY with the idea of Ed working with a criminal like Ozzie. Partly because he does not approve of the idea of Oswald as a Mayor and partly because he fears it won’t be good for Ed’s mental health

Which leads to a HUGE FIGHT with Eddie claiming that Foxy is being unfair about Oswald and treating Ed like he’s a child who can’t make his own decisions and the more Foxy tries to explain that’s not true the worse it sounds and the madder Ed gets. Plus any defence of Ozzie is met with disdain by Foxy. Until eventually they build up to some kind of ultimatum where Foxy tells Ed that ofc he’s capable of making his own decisions, but if he agrees to work with Oswald then Foxy can’t in good conscious continue with their relationship!

So a furious Ed is just - FINE THEN! And packs up his stuff and leaves.

And you can tell that both of them regret this RIGHT AWAY - Ed hovering outside the door on the verge of returning, Foxy with his hand on the doorknob poised to go after Ed and apologise

But in a tragic twist of timing they fail to make up - just as Eddie is about to return some neighbours walk by and see him with his suitcase and he feels compelled to walk on, then just as he’s out of sight Foxy plucks up the courage to open the door only to find Ed gone, noooo

Leading to Eddie turning up at the Van Dahl mansion suitcase in hand (maybe wet too, let’s imagine it raining!) where he tells Ozzie - yes I’ll take the job, but, I also kinda need somewhere to stay...

This is where the nygmobblepot - enticement towards darkness part really comes in!

Ozzie welcomes Ed in with open arms ofc and his journey to becoming Mayor plays out pretty much as in canon, with Eddie doing his supportive stuff and dipping into ‘lightly’ criminal behaviour to do so

Ozzie completely falls for Ed along the way, makes him Chief of Staff etc.

Ed is maybe, slightly, starting to develop deeper feelings for Ozzie too... and maybe there’s a bit of a ‘rebound’ aspect to it, but maybe not... plus Ozzie HAS been constantly accepting of Ed’s ‘darkside’ without judgement, which endears him to Ed, as well as the opportunities Ozzie may have provided to allow Ed to indulge said darkness (letting Ed help with interrogations and the like)

(also a lot of the warmth we saw build between Ed and Ozzie in S02 would totally have happened here as well - so they’ve got that history)

Meanwhile Foxy has taken over Ed’s job at the GCPD and watches Ed’s advancement on the news with growing concern... but also a little pride? Because... Ed seems happy... and healthy... and... maybe Oswald isn’t doing a TERRIBLE job as Mayor? (since Foxy wouldn’t know about the ins and outs of Ozzie also running the criminal underworld and how ever more deeply involved Ed is becoming with that)

UNTIL

That fateful day Ozzie plucks up the courage to confess his feelings and Ed stops off at a liquor store to purchase a bottle of wine.......

Only ofc it’s not Isabella Ed runs into 

So Ed finds Foxy while buying wine. They end up talking through the night. Both of them apologise for past behaviour. Foxy even reluctantly compliments Ozzie maybe. They both admit they miss each other. Feelings are rekindled. Kisses. They agree to try again.

Ed on learning the time, as in canon, rushes back to a frantic Ozzie and reveals that he and Foxy have decided to rekindle their romance and ISN’T IT GREAT?? :p

All the stuff about ‘second chances’ that Ed applied to Izzy in canon now fits rather nicely with him and Foxy :)

Ozzie’s jealousy progresses as in canon... to its inevitable conclusion (maybe there’s even a moment of crisis where Ed tries to break up with Foxy out of fear that he will hurt him, like he feared with Izzy, but Foxy also calms Ed’s fears... albeit without creepy cosplay... but maybe with rough sex though...? Foxy showing Ed that he’s not an innocent snowflake and can handle it if Ed needs to be a little dark...??)

OFC IN THIS SCENARIO OZZIE FAILS TO ACTUALLY KILL FOXY!

BUT - there’s a brief time where Foxy SEEMS to be dead (perhaps a mangled body was found in/by his crashed car that there is enough evidence to SUGGEST is Foxy for everyone to believe it... but actually it was a homeless man Foxy was giving a lift to a shelter or something... look you can’t expect me to think of ALL the details!)

AND OKAY HERE’S THE THING - while Ed thinks Foxy is dead, his whole development into The Riddler PLAYS OUT JUST AS IN CANON after Izzy died

So that’s - going through discovering Foxy was ‘murdered,’ blaming Butch, the whole bit with him and Tabby and the mini-guillotine, learning it was Ozzie who did it, teaming up with Babs etc against him, all the way to the docks and everything

Until we get lost and confused Ed post-Ozzie’s death going on his academic killing spree and sending riddles to the GCPD

Unhappily for Ed he only has poor Harvey to play with, since Jim is off doing important Court of Owls related plot business and Foxy is ofc unavailable

During it all Ed has some AMAZING hallucinations of BOTH OSWALD AND FOXY though... I confess I haven’t thought those through... but they DEFINITELY HAPPEN

How Harvey gets on with the chess and ‘belly of the beast’ stuff idk... maybe Lee helps... but somehow he muddles through to the finale with Eddie dangling him over the stairwell and asking his final three riddles

EXCEPT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME A WILD VERY MUCH ALIVE FOXY APPEARS AND BEGS ED TO STOP

Ofc Ed just thinks he’s hallucinating at first until Harvey exclaims his shock at Lucius being alive

Cue an intense, emotional conversation. Foxy, as in canon, twigs that Ed has killed Penguin. Ed counters, desperately - he killed you! Foxy is sympathetic. Loving. Reassuring Ed that he isn’t dead (he’s been in a coma listed as a John Doe or something, shhhh, details), that they can make this right

You can see Ed wants to believe this so badly... but he is torn... he’d built himself up into becoming a criminal, felt like fate had pushed him into it, he’d felt READY to be that man

How? he cries. How can we make this right? It’s not just Oswald. I’ve done things, killed people. I’ve killed people, Foxy, and I liked it!

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, Foxy would insist. You’re still my Ed. My Riddler. Please, you don’t have to do this.

And Foxy would move closer, reaching out. 

And Ed would be on the verge of taking Foxy’s hand.

...but that’s when the rope holding Harvey would snap.

And a pained Ed would shake his head and back away - I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s too late!

Leaving Foxy to catch a falling Harvey while Ed runs away

I’m sorry I know this is too long and ridiculous but it’s been on my mind for SO.LONG and I’ve got a whole Court of Owls bit as well

In an effort to slot this whole AU into the canon as much as I can I picture Ed going on to try and be a criminal like he does in the show - green suit, robbing three banks in one night and all that (but I’m vetoing the use of the name ‘Riddler’ at this point)

Meanwhile Foxy is, just, distraught back at the GCPD - INSISTING to Jim and everyone that Ed is not himself, that he needs help, that they need to find him, that if they just find him he can talk Ed down he promises

And Jim is sympathetic probably, reassuring Foxy that the GCPD is doing all they can, that they all care about Ed (which may or may not be stretching the truth some at this point) and will do their best to bring him in without hurting him (Kristen, who is still alive, is also on Ed’s side maybe?)

Then we’ve got Babs drawing Ed into the Court of Owls stuff

And Ed in this AU is... much more obviously conflicted about his current life choices and acting reckless/suicidal (because dramatic death seems like an easy way out of his current emotional struggles)

So, as in canon, he jumps at the chance to poke at a dangerous, secret organisation

The whole thing with the Mayor and Jim at the GCPD plays out and Jim lets the Court capture Ed (which Foxy is PISSED to learn about after the fact because W.T.F Jim you promised you would bring him in safe! why didn’t you tell me? I could have talked him out of it if I’d been there!)

Cue Ed discovering Ozzie is alive and the two of them teaming up to bust out together

Cut to Foxy returning to the GCPD late at night - he’s forgotten a file he needs, he’s been very distracted lately

Only when he enters the building he finds - ED, in full ‘not-Riddler’ outfit, sitting at one of the desks

Foxy assumes Ed has come to see him, but what he doesn’t notice is that Ed is as surprised to see him as Foxy is to find him

But before they can have a real conversation - Jim arrives

And Foxy, like, PANICS and jumps in front of Jim, yelling at Ed to run, to just go, he’ll stop Jim, Ed just needs to get out before he’s caught (Foxy has grown less enamoured of the plan to have the GCPD catch Ed since Jim let the Court take him)

Except Ed just puts a quiet hand on Foxy’s shoulder and tells Foxy he’s sweet... but actually it’s Jim he’s come to see, dun dun!

TWIST - it turns out that Ed has been WORKING WITH/FOR JIM ever since Babs approached him about the Court

Eddie had found Jim and offered to become a spy on the Court if Jim promised to clear his criminal record in return

Meaning the whole ‘letting Ed be captured by the Court’ was really a ruse Jim and Ed had concocted together to get Ed inside the Court

Brief comedy moment where Jim is all - nice to see where your priorities lie though, Lucius - about Foxy trying to help Ed escape justice :p

Foxy is all - ?????? about all this ofc. But focuses on how dangerous it was for Ed to let himself be captured by the Court

Ed just shrugs off his possible death - it’s the only way he could see to untangle himself from the criminal he’d become, to stand any chance of him and Foxy getting back to how they were

There’s a quick debrief with Jim - unfortunately Ed learnt little, only that Ozzie is still alive (which Jim already knew at this point) and that the Court are planning something big

Foxy wants to take Ed home at this point - end the whole thing. But Ed thinks he should go back to Babs etc - that he might be able to learn more while still a criminal

(also secretly Ed is still reeling over Ozzie not being dead and there is a dark part of him that very much wants to try and kill Ozzie again)

Then we have Jervis and his blood being needed to cure the virus the Court unleashes

In canon Ed helps Babs take Jervis from Jim, then Jim bargains with Ed, offering him Ozzie to get him to hand Jervis over.... 

I’m fuzzy on how this would work in the AU... maybe Ed actually helps figure out that Jervis’ blood is key to the cure?

...I think...he would have to NOT be involved in Babs kidnapping Jervis, because he’d WANT Jim, Foxy etc to get Jervis’ blood, WANT to help cure the virus

But Babs ends up with Jervis anyways

So in this scenario Ed calls Jim to let him know he can get him Jervis..... BUT.... in the meantime Ed has discovered Jim has Ozzie and his dark impulses get the better of him - he refuses to hand Jervis over unless Jim delivers Ozzie

He tried to kill the man I love, Jim, Ed insists.

So Jim, making very sure not to tell Foxy, agrees

We get the warehouse scene (...maybe without the hand grenade around Jervis... maybe not :p)

Followed by Ozzie knocking Ed out, the car, Ed seemingly escaping...

...and on to the second docks scene

EXCEPT EXCEPT EXCEPT

When it comes to the pivotal moment when Ed has the chance to shoot Ozzie again and get it right this time...

...HE DOESN’T

He thinks of Foxy and of the better man Foxy sees in him and realises that’s the man he wants to be

I can’t, he says. If I do this, Lucius and I are over. I can’t be this man and still be with him. 

He gives Ozzie back the gun

Ozzie gives him a curious look

You really love him, don’t you?

Ed nods

Ozzie nods back, understanding. Then lifts the gun and pulls the trigger

It’s unloaded ofc - and Ozzie explains about taking out the bullets, nods to where Freeze and Ivy are appearing behind Eddie

Ed asks if Ozzie is going to kill him and Ozzie says he considered it, that he considered worse - it all depended on what Ed chose to do

But since Ed chose to spare him, Ozzie spares Ed as well and tells him to go back to the man he loves - something sappy about life only giving you one true love and Ed is lucky to have found his

Maybe Ed looks at Ozzie thoughtfully (slightly longingly?) for a moment and says something about - maybe, in another lifetime...

Cut to Foxy returning home after... helping with the virus cure... whatever he was doing at the end of S03!

Ed is waiting for him inside. In the dark, so Foxy is surprised by him when he turns on the light. Because Ed is embracing his Extraness now :p

INTENSE EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION

Foxy has discovered that Ed asked for Oswald and Jim gave him up and confronts Ed about it

Ed says he took Oswald to the docks to shoot him... but like, leaves it a little unclear for a bit what actually happened because he wants to know how Foxy would react to him having killed Ozzie, for real this time

And here’s my kicker - Foxy disapproves... but he accepts it. Is willing to still be with Ed, even knowing Ed has committed premeditated murder in what is arguably sound mind (his killing spree after Foxy’s ‘death’ being something Foxy has been justifying as a result of mental illness)

Which is, ofc, a hell of an emotional boost to Ed!

Cue angry, relieved punching when Ed reveals the truth 

...some stuff with Ed insisting that he’s different now - they can’t go back to how they were, there’s a ‘darkness’ in him and that’s not going to change

Foxy telling him he understands. 

Something like - this is Gotham, living here, you need some darkness in you or you won’t survive...

....some kind of fancy wordplay anyways that shows that Foxy can handle darkness and isn’t exactly all light himself

Which leads to kinky sex

THE END

only not ofc :p

because you have all of S04... 

I don’t have a full plot for that, but I imagine Ed getting involved with Ozzie’s battle with Sofia somehow, because Ed withstanding torture for Ozzie and Ozzie giving up his revenge for Ed is just.... TOO GOOD and I need it to exist in this AU as well...

I have out of context ideas about Ed helping with Martin as well still, and he, Foxy AND OSWALD end up all living together with Martin for a bit (or at least Martin lives with Ed and Foxy and Ozzie comes to visit)

...which ties in to my secret Endgame Scenario where, in the midst of proper Batman times, Ozzie EVENTUALLY (after lots of criminal shenanigans) ends up going (mostly) legit and he, Eddie and Foxy develop a working poly relationship... but that’s in the far future :p

(also I’ve got a whole ~THING where Eddie finds out Foxy works for Batman - cos it’s not Foxy’s secret to tell, right? so I figure he would feel honour bound to keep the fact Bruce is Batman even from his boyfriend... only Eddie is not dumb and notices Foxy working later than he should and maybe Foxy’s excuses don’t hold up and whatnot and long story short Eddie becomes, reluctantly, convinced that FOXY MUST BE HAVING AN AFFAIR, even though it doesn’t fit his character AT ALL and by all accounts shouldn’t make sense... so anyway, yeah, he confronts Foxy, and Foxy CAN’T tell him the truth, so with Foxy refusing to explain himself Eddie is forced to conclude that his suspicions must be correct and it’s all just awkward and upsetting...

...only obviously Ed finds out the truth soon after - I keep picturing a scene where he comes upon Barbara Gordon at the GCPD (which Eddie goes back to work at fyi - teaming up with Foxy there for a bit till Foxy goes back to Wayne Enterprises). He finds her trying to hack into Batman’s radio, because she’s a fan. And because Eddie needs a distraction from his homelife (and is also a fan) he helps her and they succeed, only to listen in to Batman having a conversation WITH FOXY, leaving Ed all - ??????!

and ofc he hijacks the line and is all - FOXY THE FUCK?! 

...followed by a shocked (slightly awed) - FOXY OMG ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH BATMAN??

to which Bruce and Lucius are both - aaaaah! wow, omg, fucking NO!

...and yeah, that’s how Ed finds out his boyfriend works for the Bat and ultimately leads to him (and Barbara) joining the team :p)

Soooo... yes... there we go. A more detailed look into my ‘Ed and Foxy were friends at uni’ foxma AU version of Gotham/Batman, including Eddie having an ongoing, complicated relationship with Oswald which involves him constantly struggling with his darker impulses and being tempted to... less than lawful/ethical/moral behaviour.

(I feel like maybe sometimes as well, when Eddie is working alongside the Bat Fam, he maybe... quietly orchestrates things so certainly particularly vile villains end up, um, ‘unalive’ ...but in ways that aren’t obviously deliberate... or maybe even occasionally, secretly teams up with Ozzie to help bump off various people...

oh shit and yeah that’s the other thing - in this AU, when Eddie becomes Oracle!Riddler... mostly I just take it as read that Ozzie 100% knows it’s him from the get go... but he just... never says anything... and even though he knows that technically he could probably go after Eddie and try and torture the identity of Batman out of him, Ozzie just... doesn’t... because - love, you know? ;p)

God this is way too long, I’m so very sorry...