#I’m posting this early I’m proud of it

[wosoamazing]

Leah's Return

Part 6 - Fire on Fire Series

A/N: Sorry this one is short, updates may not be as regular in the next few weeks bc Uni is getting a little hectic... (I know I posted one yesterday but I don't know if I 100% like this so I'm just getting it out)

The game today was the one Leah expected to be making her return, it also was the game your parents had decided to come to. There was some irony in that, as your parents were most likely going to ruin a night that was meant to be fun and celebrate the return of Leah. However you ignored the fact they were there, not even looking for them in the stands before the game started.

At 61 minutes Leah was subbed on and the reception was great. The game finished amazingly with Arsenal beating Reading 6-0.

-

As soon as the whistle blew you ran up to Leah and hugged her.

“You did amazing! I’m so proud of you,” you told her as you patted her on her back, “I have to go speak to them now, but I will see you later,” she nodded as said something along the lines of thank you and good luck before you walked off.

You quickly found your parents in the stands and walked up to them.

“Look at you two playing the supportive parent role”, you said as you greeted them, seeing how they had brand new Arsenal Jerseys on which had your number on them, and to top it all off they had Mum and Dad written across the back.

“Y/N, respect please,” You Dad beckoned,

“I’ll decide how I treat you when you tell me the real reason your here,” you pointedly said

“Can we go somewhere else?” He asked.

 “No we are doing this here,” “Well, your father and I are giving you one last chance before we cut you off, you can decide, but there won’t be anymore chances, we will buy you whatever house, wherever you want, and we will pay for all your expenses whilst you study, all you need to do is quit.” 

“No,” you reply, looking at her dead in the face.

“No?” They both questioned, expecting you to put up a fight. 

“No, I’m not giving up the thing I love. Just to fulfil your wishes and your distorted reality. You didn’t raise me anyway so you cutting me off won't do much harm,” you walked off, and made your way into the locker room, quickly having a shower before you jumped in your car and headed home, to start getting ready for tonight, at least tonight you could drink and forget about it all.

_____

It was later that night and your plan to drink and forget it all had definitely not worked, you hadn’t actually drunk at all, knowing all too well it wasn’t the best idea at all to drown your sorrows but you also felt like shit. You couldn’t believe they came all the way just to cut you off, clearly having no respect for the date that was steadily approaching in two days. You just wanted to go home, however as you were meant to be going home with Leah you didn’t know if that was an option, as this was her night and she should have fun, however as you looked around the bar you noticed Beth and Viv together, so you decided to ask them if they could take you home.

“Can you take me home? I know it’s really early, but I’m just not feeling the best and I don’t want to make Leah leave early.” “Of course, we were thinking of heading off now anyway,” Viv told you and Beth rolled her eyes.

You were sitting in the back seat head resting against the window, when Beth asked if you were okay, and you mumbled a small ‘yeah’ before small soft tears started to roll down your cheeks.

Both women followed you into your home but you didn't question it, you were honestly expecting it, however you just ignored them and walked into your room.

You were scrolling on tik tok when the fifth edit of your parents and you from the game showed up on your screen, with the caption saying how supportive your parents were. Before you could even think you flung your phone out of your hand and it hit the wall

You threw your phone across the room as hot angry tears started to flow down your face.

“Hey, what's going on?” Beth asked as she opened the door, “are you okay?”

“No, but that doesn’t matter, sorry if I scared you, I threw my phone, I didn’t want to see another edit or post of me and them from tonight. People are saying they are supportive, but they aren’t, and I mean I did have my aunts but it’s still different. Knowing your parents are literally throwing millions of dollars at you so that you do what they want. Knowing they disapprove of what you do so much that they would do that. It’s fucked, and it’s fucking unfair,” you took a deep breath before more tears started to stream down your face, “I’m sorry.”

“It is unfair. It is a fucked up situation and you have nothing to be sorry about,” Beth said as she walked up to you, and wrapped her arms around you. You practically collapsed into her, needing any form of comfort. “Should we call Stina?” She questioned

“No,” you had called Stina enough over the past few years, tonight was date night and you weren’t going to interrupt her night, “oh you can go if you want,” you said as you tried to pull out of her arms, getting the sense that she didn’t want to stay.

“No, that's not what I meant. I just didn't know if you would want your best friend or not?”

“No, it's okay, and you're one of my best friends now too,” you admitted, shortly after hearing a sniffle, looking up to see some tears had fallen from Beth’s eyes.

“You’re a fat softy you know that, right?” you told her before pulling her in for a massive hug.

You spent the rest of the evening on the couch with Beth and Viv watching a movie.

[pennylanefics]

Adventure

a/n: this was supposed to be the second prompt to post but the idea i had didn't strike me too much so i put it off lmao

summary: seth takes you on a trip to the beach now that the off-season has started

word count: ~ 1.8k

With the off-season in full swing, and Seth having little to no responsibilities when it comes to hockey, he had all the time in the world to spend with you. As proud as you are for him and all, you miss being able to spend hours together, without him having to go to the arena or some meeting.

That’s why today, Seth had plans for the two of you, and he was planning on keeping his phone off the entire day and paying attention to only you.

“Morning, honeybee,” Seth mumbles against your cheek, pressing a kiss to it as you finally awake. He had been awake for a couple hours already, preparing everything for the day he had prepared for.

“Mm, morning,” you groan, stretching your arms above your head. “What are you doing up so early?” Your eyes dart to the clock on the wall, noticing that it was only about 8: 42, and Jarvy was one to sleep in a lot, so it was rare for him to be awake before 11 most days.

“I’m taking you on an adventure,” he simply states.

“An adventure?” You question, raising your eyebrows. He smiles sweetly and nods, his hand beginning to mess with the ends of your hair.

“Yep. I’m gonna go make some breakfast for you, maybe a smoothie, and then we can head out.”

“What should I wear?” A yawn escapes you as Seth gets up from sitting next to you.

“Swimwear. We’re going to the beach.” You cheer in excitement and Seth can’t help but laugh, getting ready to walk out of the room.

“So make sure to wear that cute little number I love so much,” he winks with a smirk. Rolling your eyes, you sit up and take a moment to wake up a little bit more. 

You head over to your dresser and dig to find your swimsuit that had gotten buried over the past few weeks. It was a red bikini top and a pair of red and white striped bottoms; Seth loved the color on you and he could never keep his hands off of you, of course it was only in private that he was doing said things.

He returns with a couple pieces of toast with strawberry jam and a side of scrambled eggs by the time you finish getting dressed and ready with an old t-shirt and shorts acting as a cover up, which you knew was lost somewhere in your closet. He also hands you a fruit smoothie that he’s gotten good at making.

Soon enough, the two of you are packing up, Seth’s car and driving about three hours to the closest beach. You control the music the entire way there, singing loudly as the wind blows through your hair, Seth looking over at you every now and then with a huge smile on his face.

He finds a place to park before hopping out to gather all the stuff he packed. While you were asleep, he put together a bag with a couple towels, including one to lay out in the sand for you to sit on, as well as a cooler with drinks and lunch for later on.

Thankfully, since it was a weekday, it wasn’t terribly busy so you were able to find a good spot where people weren’t crowding just yet. Seth helps you set out the towels, securing them down with the cooler and bag.

“Wanna go in the water with me?” You ask him, slipping your shirt and shorts off, setting them in the bag. Seth’s eyes rake over your body and he can’t help but bite his lip. You take this moment to smack his shoulder playfully, eliciting a giggle from him.

“What? I can’t look at my beautiful girlfriend? Is that a crime now. Maybe quit being so gorgeous,” he stands to join you, resting his hands on your hips as he smiles at you, leaning down to give you a sweet kiss.

“Mm, watch yourself, Jarvis,” you tease. “It’s not a private beach.”

With that, you push off him and run towards the ocean, stepping over the incoming waves and diving in once you get deep enough. The warm, salty water washes over your body, instantly easing all of your worries.

Seth isn’t too far behind you, his laugh ringing out above the ocean, following you as much as he can. When he finally catches up, he grabs your hips once again and pulls you into him. With being a little far away from the shore, you two could be a little more sneakier, and of course he can’t help but squeeze your ass.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he murmurs, kissing you deeply. “Have I told you how incredible your body is?”

No matter what you wore or how you were feeling about yourself, Seth always made sure to comment on how beautiful he thinks you are and how much he loves your body. Every time, he said it with so much love tenderness, and a majority of the time it wasn’t even in a sexual way, but in a way to show his admiration for you.

“Once or twice,” you joke, your cheeks heating up under his gaze. He smiles warmly and kisses your cheek this time.

“And I mean it, baby,” he whispers, pausing to lift you up from your slightly bent standing position to wrapping your legs around his body, wading a little bit further out. His hands caress your thighs and he continues to stare, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“I love you, Jarvy,” you whisper, your hands wrapping around his neck to steady yourself.

“And I love you,” he replies.

The two of you stay in the same area in the water for a while, splashing each other playfully and chasing each other, then pausing to tell one another a story or something that’s on your mind.

After half an hour, you head back to shore to eat the sandwiches that Seth prepared for you, along with some fruit and veggies.

“Aho invited us along to the beach house that he’s renting out a few weeks before the start of the season, one last get together with all the wives and girlfriends, if you’re interested,” he says before tossing the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth. “Not everyone is going but he has a house for ten so he has space.”

“That sounds like fun,” you agree, looking out at the water.

“He has all the dinners planned, game nights, we can go into the city for a day or two, it’ll be a great time to unwind before the stress of everything.”

After reapplying sunscreen, you decide to walk along the shoreline to look for shells while Seth laid out and took a short nap, his hat covering his face to shield the sun. You were enjoying listening to the sound of the waves against your ankles, waiting for the waves to disperse so you could grab whatever shell caught your eye.

After an hour of looking and walking pretty far down the beach, you trudge back with your small bucket, about a fourth of the way filled with small shells and fragments, as well as a small amount of shark teeth that you were lucky enough to find.

When you get to your spot, you see Seth sitting up, looking around, a confused look on his face. Coming into view, his shoulders appear to relax and he sets his phone aside.

“Where’d you run off to, huh?” He questions when you reach your spot, plopping down on the towel.

“Collecting shells,” you beam, dumping the bucket over and displaying them. Seth picks up a few one by one to look at them, listening to you ramble about where you found it and how you’ve never seen one that looked a certain way. 

He was smiling as he listened, being as careful as ever with the more delicate shells, watching as you dry the bucket out and place them back in.

“Where do you plan on putting these, baby?” He wonders.

“I have a little shadow box I bought at the store that I’m going to start putting them in, and add on every time we come to the beach. I thought it would be a cute idea.” Seth’s heart soars in his chest at the thought. “So you can help me look for shells on our trip.”

“I would love to, that sounds like such a sweet idea.” Seth leans over and kisses your cheek before he stands and holds his hand out for you, dragging you to the water with him again.

“Since I fell asleep while you went looking, I want to pick some out,” he says crouching down to look in the sand, immediately picking out a pretty cream-colored one, with some hints of purple inside. So, for another hour, the two of you comb the shoreline in the opposite direction from where you walked a little while ago, starting a new tradition in your relationship.

Around four in the afternoon, you pack your things up and head back to Seth’s car, dusting all the sand off of everything before throwing it into the trunk. Before stepping into the driver’s seat, Seth grabs your waist and pulls you into his body, kissing you sweetly as his hands move up to cup your cheeks.

“I love you so much,” he tells you once more.

“I love you too, Jarvy.” He giggles at how dazed you sound, both from the kiss and from the exhaustion taking over you.

It’s a long three hours back, Seth holding your hand in his while you sleep for half the drive, but Seth doesn’t mind. Every now and then, he looks over to check on you and can’t help the smile that remains on his face.

Upon arriving home, you help Seth bring everything inside, but leave the stuff sit by the door, deciding to wait until tomorrow to unpack it all, as it was pretty late when you finally get back home. After showering and dressing in pajamas, the two of you wash the shells that you brought home in the bathroom sink together.

Setting them on some towels to dry, Seth wraps his arm around your shoulder and presses his lips to your temple. It’s a sweet and intimate moment, something that seems to be rare with Seth when speaking to him in public, but behind closed doors, he’s the biggest softie ever.

Once all the shells were dry, you carefully place them into the opening of the shadowbox, along with a polaroid you took at the beach today, before closing the box and turning it upright carefully.

“Where should we put it?” He wonders, walking back into the bedroom. You clear a space on your dresser for it, turning back to Seth with a wide smile.

“Perfect,” you comment, hugging him with your arms around his torso.

“You’re perfect,” he whispers back.

[daily-duckguy]

Oh to be a little puppet duck guy living in a world controlled by a fickle god with unknown motivations

[randbitb]

They’re so teehee so silly

[autumn-trekking]

Liking Star Trek TOS is just slowly developing a crush on every member of the bridge crew, I don’t make the rules I just follow the law!

Like why am I LUSTING after this silly fucking guy rn???? It’s just what happens!

[celestialulu]

art summary of 2023 <3

This year has been up and down art wise but overall at least I did art for each month and for those who don’t know mashima saw my nalu day art in July and showed it on stream so I would say this year was pretty good for me!!

More nalu art for 2024 and I hope to improve and get a consistent art style lmao

(Making this is kinda embarrassing I hate seeing old art and also sorry for the low quality I had to rush this as I won’t be home for New Years)

made some friends this year which I appreciate and yeah you know who u are im too shy to @ anyone ..

May nalu have many moments in 2024 🫶

[applecherry108]

*flanderizes my own characters in an attempt to be ✨dynamic✨* I did it! I remembered beforehand and actually did something in time! This post is scheduled and everything!! ;v;!!

Happy 16th Anniversary to my idiot OCs!! 🎉

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

Day 602

GOOD NEWS GUYS WE GOT THE MURDER CHARGES DROPPED!

[truegoist]

tumblr thinks it’s fun to recommend me those misandry femcel lana del rey coquette blogs and it’s surprising how much of these ppl are younger than me

[arthur-r]

just finished a drawing for the hhvcd anniversary but the problem is. i spent like eight-ish hours on it???? over the course of many days???? and my goal had been to make three pictures of each of them. and what i have is a singular drawing of haricot

[regallibellbright]

Bro: If money were no object, how many Mareep would you have?

Me: Life-sized plushies, right? (He nods) Hm, while the flock IS a tempting option, if money’s no object then I can get whatever life-sized plushes I want. I can have Furret. I can have Spheal.

Bro: Do they actually make -

Me: Yeah there’s a whole line of them, one of them is Furret, he is a LOOOONG boy. Maybe not taller than I am, I know Clodsire is because I looked it up last night. Saw a really cute piece of fanart and thought about making a plush and was like ‘okay sure 5’11” is taller than you are -‘

Bro: That’s taller than me.

Dad: That’s taller than anyone in this house. (Note: Bro is tallest at about 5’10”, so: yeah.)

Me: Yeah, but it could serve as a body pillow or I could make a smaller pillow-sized one and it wouldn’t cost $500 and I was like ‘get in line, there.’ (Everyone nods sympathetically. Mom is also a crocheter and everyone else has at least one creative type.) I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to eventually do ten or eleven TWEWY dolls, it’s just a question of which versions. Minamimoto’s going to be almost as bad as Rindo, he’s ALL black on black details. (Bro nods sympathetically and also ‘yeah no obviously this is a reasonable desire’. Hell I wouldn’t be shocked if he’d want his own Neku, his battle portrait’s still his Steam avatar.)

Dad: That’ll be your master works?

Me: Eh, no, that’ll be a project I work on and do others in between, that’ll be about two or three… or five years probably. Eleven dolls. Or more. (I have not… ruled out doing other Reapers. It would be a massive addition to an already massive project. But I have not ruled it out.) *Beat* Actually Rindo’s coat MIGHT be, I’d sooner learn to WEAVE for that one, that thing’s evil. But anyway, Bro, that means the Wayfinders are back on the table.

Bro: *In a tone of voice saying ‘Obviously and I’m glad you’ve accepted this in your heart because it should always have been in your plans’* Correct.

Me: *Resignedly* I’ve actually got a few ideas about Aqua’s spikes. But yeah, if I’m going to do something as bad as Rindo’s coat I can’t justify NOT doing Ven. He’s not AS bad as that.

Later I realized, going back to the original question, that if money is no object then neither is space. So then, Mareep flock AND other life-sized plushies.

Dad: Is that an airplane hangar? No, that’s the Pokemon extension.

Me: Exactly. There’s the ball pit full of plush toys, dive right in.

Bro: A Scrooge McDuck thing but with Pokemon.

Me: You get it.

[astonmartingf]

GREEDY ; SV5

sebastian vettel x interviewer!reader

. . . at the height of his career all vettel wants is to win. with four world championships on his back, his ego- out of the world, surely that's enough for a room in your life.

amgf i forgot to add this but!!! implied smut but no actual scene, yay! the first post in the main is greedy 😤✊ i love how this turned out, wrote it in one sitting too hahahaha i'm enjoying myself way too much, i hope you do to <3

death of a bachelor ; masterlist

“Nervous?” 

You walk out from the ensuite bathroom, finding the blonde German tangled up in the sheets, in that post-sex afterglow, hair- a sweaty mess, breaths labored, and eyes closed in blissed. It was indeed a sight to see, you’re proud, what can you say?

“Why would I be nervous?” Sebastian raises his eyebrows as you move closer to him, kissing his head before scooting in between the sheets.

“Your retirement? The media? My upcoming questions for the tribute?” 

Seb’s laughter filled the hotel room, wrapping his arms around yours, “Can’t let me catch a break can you?” he whispers in your ears, hands lingering lower your stomach.

You shake your head, fighting the smile growing on your face, “Need to keep you on your toes. Whatever will happen to that ego of yours if I praise you easily.”

Seb shrugs, “Understandable, I mean you praise me enough in bed, I think I will bust a nut if you praise me there and then in press interviews.”

Scoffing, you stand up, slapping his arms playfully- “You need to control that mouth of yours, it’s funny how you haven’t slipped up yet. About this, y’know.”

Grabbing your cheeks, Sebastian pulls you in for a kiss, “Can’t. Wouldn’t dare even. What’s mine is mine, and you are mine. There’s no way I’m telling.”

Lifting yourself, you straddle on his thighs, “You’re not that good at hiding either, other drivers are asking.” 

Peppering kisses on your neck, Sebastian groaned at the thought of the other drivers going to interviews with you. “Don’t remind me. I saw your interview with Lewis, and people are liking it way too much. Now I need to think of some snarky comment to turn all the attention back to you and me.”

A moan escapes your lips, laughter filled in between as you throw your head, back arching closer to Seb’s. “You’re insufferable.”

“I’m greedy. And I’m yours.”

You hum, letting Seb play with your thighs, “Is that why you brought me with you to Silverstone?”

“There’s nothing wrong with an early celebration right?”

You laugh, “Is that what we’re doing? Celebrating?”

Sebastian stops, pushing you back to the bed. Staring at his eyes, you see the hunger and determination inside them.

“Celebrating for the rest of our lives. Fuck, you’re driving me crazy liebe.”

sebastianvettel5

liked by interviewyln, lewishamilton, and 2,483,632 others

sebastianvettel5 how it started ten years ago and how it's going. retirement has never been better, all the things i want i have, and of course with you interviewyln

it took me a long time to even comprehend that i ended up with you. i was jealous, childish, and greedy. thank heavens that you gave me a chance, and here i am ten years later.

after my first interview with you, i knew i had to make the best first impression. who would've thought banter and snarky comments would lead us together.

and now, i wouldn't have it any other way with you and now with our daughter. i love you so much, thank you for being with me at my worst, and in the best times.

liebe, you'll always be in my heart.

comments are restricted by the user...

intervieweryln honey, thank you so much. i wouldn't have it any other way. through the thick and thin, we'll be together. i love you so much seb.

[monsterbroth]

horrible idea in progress

[southislandwren]

Texts that break my fucking heart because I just want to see my old boss again and if it doesn’t work out this week after I missed the September event it’s going to be the fucking death of me :((

[m4tthewmurd0ck]

Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader

no y/n and i try to avoid descriptors but do use she/her. you star in house of the dragon and your character is aemond targaryen’s girlfriend (let me live ok i know we could change him! he told me!!) aaaand also tbosas as sejanus girlfriend (get it bc rachel and josh and now you and tom). your character in tbosas is nova may winter.

your social media ~

just a fun little social media series, will do this in between editing my coriolanus snow x reader series. first part below the cut, sometime early 2023.

liked by enews and others…

tmz_tv trouble in paradise? rachelzegler and tomblyth spotted looking a little cozy last night! wonder how yourname and joshandresrivera feel!!!

yourname heartbroken!

↳ joshandresrivera shocked!

↳ yourname betrayed!

↳ joshandresrivera bamboozled!

↳ yourname flabbergasted!

↳ joshandresrivera devastated!

↳ yourname yeah that we weren’t invited hadbdjsndj

↳ tomblyth i hate you both 😭

↳ rachelzegler you guys literally had reshoots for tbosas though????

↳ tomblyth and we offered to reschedule for when all 4 of us could go?

↳ yourname fuck we’ve been exposed

↳ joshandresrivera gotta blast!!!

username wait are they really dating?!

↳ username no. rachelzegler is dating joshandresrivera and tomblyth is dating yourname.

↳ username waaaait i just read tbosas. obviously coryo and lucy gray, but also yourname character is dating joshandresrivera character 😂 so everyone had to kiss each others significant other 😂😂😭

↳ username oh to be yourname and rachelzegler

🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 30 minutes later 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️

⚪️⚫️⚪️⚪️

⚪️⚪️⚫️⚪️

⚪️⚪️⚪️⚫️

liked by taylorswift and others…

yourname here to serve your #snowbaird needs! first 3 📸 are the love of my life and tomblyth is in the shots too.

rachelzegler hahaha i love you

↳ yourname marry me when???

tchalamet where was the post for paul and luna when dune came out? #fakefriend #betrayed

↳ yourname timothée??? i literally made a whole youtube video talking about my experience with dune? and i sung your praises for like 10 minutes???

↳ tchalamet not the full first name 😳

joshandresrivera and what about the ship for our characters 🤬

↳ yourname istg you’ll get an entire post dedicated to u once the film is actually out.

↳ joshandresrivera carry on 🤭

ewanmitchell aemond and juliette didn’t get a post either 🤨

↳ yourname aemond killed my baby lucerys, he doesn’t get shit 😞

↳ ewanmitchell you did a whole post when osferth died????

↳ yourname my sweet baby osferth did not deserve to die either 😔

username damn yourname your onscreen boyfriends are low key needy af 🫣

↳ yourname i know right 😩

tmz_tv 👀

↳ yourname this was a joke. i’m laughing at you, not with you.

yourname has blocked tmz_tv

tomblyth caption got me like 😧… and what’s the last photo my love?

↳ yourname my lockscreen is what it is.

↳ username “my love”

↳ username she said my lockscreen hahdudsbdifesz one of us one of us

hunterschafer you’re my spirit animal

↳ yourname hunter is the ACTUAL loml you guys

↳ tomblyth “heart been broke so many times” - rod wave 😧

username i read the book. coriolanus has to choke nova may. tomblyth did u develop a choking kink 🤭😏😏😏

↳ yourname hahahaha username i love you so much for this

↳ username someone spoil it for me why does he choke her

↳ username nova may figures out that coriolanus is the one who betrayed sejanus right when he’s executed and she goes to confront him later. this is when he and lucy gray first get to the cabin. she has a gun but he manages to throw it to the other side of the room. and at least in the book he slams her against a wall and tries to kill her by choking her.

↳ username istg they better put this scene in the movie.

↳ username but does he kill her?

↳ yourname watch and seeeee!

↳ rachelzegler so proud of my girl yourname! we can’t talk about it too much because #spoilers but you guys she’s incredible and it was so cool to watch her and tomblyth film that scene

username i bet tomblyth felt so bad having to be mean to yourname

↳ yourname all jokes aside, tomblyth aka the actual number 1 love of my life, he did feel so bad 😭 i love seeing him turn into coriolanus because it’s obviously so different from who he actually is as a person. but after each take he’d immediately ask if i was okay 🥺🥹

↳ username god i’m so single

if you’d like to be tagged in future tom blyth x actress!reader let me know!

[steviesummer]

inspired by and as a direct follow up to this post by @strangersteddierthings:

Eddie is horrified. He remembers the day Steve is referring to, though clearly not as well as Steve does. He calls out as Steve raced up the stairs and hears his door slam.

“Fuck.” He stares blankly at the wall in front of him. He can’t believe things went so bad so quickly. He’s been trying to get to know Steve better, get closer and damn if he didn’t just blow the hole thing. He’d shown up early, told Steve he needed to prepare as an excuse to spend some time with him. Despite everything that happened over spring break, Steve had remained guarded, standoffish no matter what Eddie tried. At least now he knew why. He’d fucked things up before he’d known there was something to fuck up.

He feels even worse about calling him a bully. Sure, Steve had looked the other way and even laughed at some of the mean jokes others had made, but he was far from the worst. That dubious award went to Billy Hargrove, but even without him, there was plenty of people who did far worse than Steve did. Especially because Steve is right. He did hit first, metaphorically at least. He can justify it all he wants as trying to protect himself, but that doesn’t make it right. Steve all but admitted that as he said the same thing. He feels nauseous at the realization that maybe he was just as bad as those he decried. That for all his talk about accepting outcasts and defying convention, he was just as prejudiced. Swallowing hard, he heads back to the dining room and looks at the clock. There is no way he is going to be able to run the campaign today. He’s not going to be able to focus or even play without thinking about how things might have been if he hadn’t driven Steve off all those years ago. He grabs the phone and dials Gareth’s number. “Emerson house, Sheryl speaking.” “Hi Mrs. Emerson, it’s Eddie.” Eddie is proud that he manages to keep his voice even. “Is Gareth there?” “Oh, yes! Let me go get him for you.” “Thanks Mrs. Emerson.” Eddie focuses on breathing while he waits. “Eddie? Hey man, what’s up?” Eddie breathes out. “Hey Gareth. Look, I know its last minute, but we’re gonna have to postpone Hellfire. Something came up.” He could hear Gareth’s frown through the phone. “Postpone? What happened, did Harrington do something?” As if he couldn’t feel worse. “Nah. I’ll explain later, but can you call Jeff and Frank, let them know? I gotta call the freshman, too.” “Alright, but I’m going to hold you to that.” “Fair enough. Talk to you tomorrow.” Eddie promises before hanging up. He weighs his options for how to tell the Party. Eventually, he decides on calling Mike, know that the younger teen won’t push too much. He’s dialing the Wheeler home before he can second guess his decision. “This is Mike.” Eddie feels a rush of gratitude that Mike is the one who answered, rather than Nancy or one of their parents. “Hey Mike, it’s Eddie. Listen, Steve’s not feeling great and having Hellfire here isn’t going to help. Can you call the rest of the Party, let them know we’re gonna move it to another day? I’ll keep an eye on Steve.” Eddie knows Mike is a confused, given how adamant he’s been in the past about not canceling or moving Hellfire, but as he expected, Mike accepts what he says at face value. “Sure. Need us to bring anything?” “Nah, I’ve got it. Pretty sure he just needs some peace and quiet so he can rest. But thanks.” They say their goodbyes and Eddie puts the phone back on the hook.  With that done, he checks that the door is locked and faces the stairs. Now for the hard part. He’s not sure what he’s going to say, if there is anything he can say that will fix this, but he has to try. Even if doesn’t change things between him and Steve, Steve deserves at least that much. Every step feels like it takes effort, chest heavy with guilt, but it only takes him a few moments to get to Steve’s door. It’s closed, which doesn’t surprise him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before knocking. Nothing. “Steve?” If it wasn’t for the quiet sound of Steve’s breathing he could hear through the door, Eddie would think he had left. He glad that he at least didn’t drive Steve out of his own home. He rests his forehead on the door. “I’m sorry.” Eddie hopes Steve can hear how much he means it. “You’re right, I fucked up. I made an assumption and took out my anger at other people on you. And that wasn’t fair and it’s not okay. But I want you to know that I’m sorry. Even if it wasn’t you, I shouldn’t have done that.” He lets out a hysterical laugh as he realizes - “And despite that, you still humor the kids when they talk about D&D and agreed to let us play here and didn’t punch me in the face, which makes you a better man than I.” He falls silent, listens as Steve’s breathing slows. He isn’t sure how long he stands there. He wonders how many other people he hurt this way, without even realizing. Knows he wants to do better, be better. He sighs, feeling his shoulders slump. “Anyway, I canceled Hellfire for today. I told everyone something came up, don’t worry about that. I’ll make up some story, make sure they know its not your fault. And uh,  let me know if you want to hang out again or something. I know I’ve been around a lot; didn’t realize that I was making you so uncomfortable, which is probably another thing I should apologize for. Anyway. Yeah. I’ll see you around, okay?” He waits a moment for an answer, but when none comes, he backs away from the door and walks downstairs to gather his stuff. It hurts, but he knows Steve deserves space and to be the one to initiate contact. He has some thinking to do, anyway.