#I'd like to bear my testimony

[ititledit]

Terrible headline choice, but overall I'm glad child free women are getting some mainstream coverage

________________

The number of women choosing not to have children is growing and the global birth rate is plunging.

While their reasons vary from climate worries to financial concerns and health complications, those making the decision to be "child-free by choice" say societal acceptance is yet to come, often leaving them feeling ostracised.

The BBC spoke to members of Bristol Childfree Women, a social group with more than 500 members, set up by women and for women who have decided not to have children.

While Caroline Mitchell always knew she never wanted children, she wasn't prepared for how hard reaching "child-bearing age" would be.

The 46-year-old, who lives with her husband in Brislington, Bristol, said while it never bothered her when she was younger, she had not anticipated the barrage of personal questions she would face as friends and acquaintances started to have children.

"I have felt like a freak because of it," she said.

"I feel like my perspective and my experience is just not acceptable."

In Caroline's eyes, society is set up for motherhood.

"You realise how you're quite excluded from a lot of life," she said.

"It's really hard for me to meet people, because it's all about the women you meet at the school gates or the writing clubs for mums."

Caroline said she thinks that sometimes women with children believe the "whole world" is set up for child-free women.

"Actually, it's really exclusionary," she said.

Many in her circle of friends have children and while they have never knowingly done anything to make her feel different, she says, the fact they are "all doing one thing" and she is doing another has been "quite hard".

While Caroline is "100% certain" and "very comfortable" in her identity, she admits she has, on occasion, “agonised" about her decision.

She said that was down to the "cultural expectation" of what was normal and the concept that if you were a woman, having a child was "the natural thing to do".

Official figures released in 2022, external show record numbers of women are reaching the age of 30 child-free.

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics.

Megan Stanley, who is originally from Oxfordshire and lives in Bristol, was so certain about her decision to not have children, she has been trying to get sterilised since the age of 19.

When it comes to her painful periods, Megan said it feels "cruel" to go through the "suffering every single month for a body function" she feels she does not need.

"I know that sterilisation doesn't solve periods but it does alleviate a lot of those major symptoms," she said.

But the 31-year-old said she has come up against hurdle after hurdle.

“The doctors would say ‘you're still a bit young’ or ‘you might change your mind’,” she said.

The furthest Megan got was when she was 29 and had an appointment with a surgeon.

"I'd prepared everything - my medical history, prepared all my line of reasoning. I'd even gone as far as to get a testimony from the therapist I was seeing. I'd gone the full mile," she said.

However, permission was not granted once the gynaecologist asked about her relationship status.

"At the time I'd been dating my now long-term partner for maybe three months," Megan said.

She told the doctor that her partner also definitely did not want children and he had already had a vasectomy.

Megan said the doctor then told her that if her partner had a vasectomy, “then you don't need to have this done, do you?"

It was then that Megan said she realised it was "inescapable" and they were "just not going to do it".

"Why should what happens to my body be beholden to what he's done to his?" she said.

"It's got to the point now where I long for the menopause. That's what I'm looking forward to."

Caroline believes women without children may be “complicit” in keeping cultural expectations as they are.

"We don't talk about it - so there's still this thought that it's what everyone does," she said.

"Motherhood is just everywhere all the time, in your face."

She said it was hard not fitting in with the "norm of society" and at times, she had wished she was "different".

"My life would have been easier in some ways," she said.

Yet for many women, whatever choices they make, they seem to beat themselves up about it and "seem to be not very accepting of everyone's choice", Caroline added.

Fiona Powley said she knew she did not want to be a mother from the age of 12 after seeing her own mum struggle with motherhood.

“I just thought motherhood didn't look like lot of fun," she said.

Now 49, Fiona runs the Bristol Childfree Women group, external and while she is currently experiencing menopausal symptoms, she has "no panicking feeling" that she did not use her ability to reproduce.

"It feels very comfortable," she said.

Ironically Fiona now looks at herself and thinks she could have actually done “quite a good job of parenting" but she "never really wanted it enough".

However, like Caroline and Megan she said new people she meets can react negatively when she tells them she chose not to have children.

“There's being told you'll regret it. What's your point of existing? If you don't have children you're not valid as a woman," Fiona said.

Fiona has even been called "selfish" and some have questioned who will look after her when she is old.

“It's almost like people feel uncomfortable," she said.

“It's probably because it never occurred to them that they also had a choice.”

Megan can sympathise.

In the past, the reaction to her not wanting children has been quite "visceral", she said.

She claims some people have painted her as "a child-hater, or a mean person” because of it.

"I think my not wanting kids is just an innate thing to who I am," she said.

Fiona said there were so many reasons why people decide not to have children.

Looking back, she thinks her own reasons were "probably quite unhealthy", but she knows that she is not going to "suddenly wake up as an old lady and feel bitter and regret".

Caroline said she would be a "resentful mother", adding there were a "huge amount of upsides" to not having children, like focusing her time on her relationship with her husband and her hobbies.

Megan agrees.

“There’s a lot of joy to be had in not having kids," she said.

“It isn't all about freedom and money. It's about choice."

[queerstake]

Now that I'm really going to be back for good, I'd like to reintroduce myself as a mod here at queerstake! My name is Logan, and my blogs are @personshapedsplder and @logans-mormon-blog. I'm aroace and transmasc nonbinary.

I've been a part of the queerstake community here on tumblr probably since around 2016. I think fostering community among other queer mormons is extremely important and it's imperative that we all support each other. I want to use this blog to do what I can to serve our community! If there's anything anyone needs at all, please reach out!

While I'm here, I'll bear my testimony quick that I love the church. I know it's true, despite its obvious flaws, and I know God loves us and put us here to help strengthen his church. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and made me EXACTLY how I am, that my queerness is an expression of my inherent divinity that i inherited from my father in heaven. I love the book of mormon and I know it's true. I'm excited to be here to help. I love our church and I love our community and I know Jesus is the christ, that he died for us so we could return to live with him and with our families. I say these things in the name of Jesus christ, amen.

[nerdygaymormon]

I'm coming out as trans to my very unaccepting parents because an ex is essentially blackmailing me and I'd rather they hear it from me. So pray for me I guess? Oh also maybe throw in a prayer that my ex takes a bath with his toaster 🙏

Wow! That's really terrible of your ex. But good on you for taking the control back from them. If you're going to be outed, you'll do it yourself.

You got this! It may not be the timing you would've chosen, but trust that you are ready. Queer people are among the bravest folks I know. Coming out can be difficult and a risk, and yet we do it. Over and over we do it. You are more courageous than you imagine.

Of course we'll pray for you and hope things go well.

I have a few thoughts I hope will help.

————————————————————— 

Coming out is a sacred act, it's bearing testimony of your truth.

It's almost Easter, and it makes me think that Jesus' resurrection can be read as a coming out story. Jesus came out into a changed body and new way of life. Likewise, queer people come out into a new identity and can never go back to what it was before. Others may look back and see your empty tomb that contains your deadname & the misgendered identity of how they saw you, but they'll also see your life reborn as you move forward in your new identity.

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If it’s too hard to have a face-to-face conversation, you can always choose other ways, like writing a letter, making a video. You do what works for you.

If you're going to tell them in person, practice in the mirror. Go over what you want to say. But know that in the moment it probably won't go as you've practiced, and that's okay. Coming out almost never goes perfectly and that's alright.

Pick a good time and place. Generally it's better if you can have their undivided attention, not while they're cooking or watching the television. You can choose to make this formal by inviting them to sit down, that you have something to say. You can choose to bring it up while you're together having a relaxed conversation.

Having a way to time-box the conversation can be useful. There's a stereotype that people come out while in the car, and there's a good reason for this. The driver needs to keep looking forward, so that helps break the eye contact, and eventually you reach the destination, providing a natural end to the conversation.

Be honest about your feelings. Tell them you’re feeling a little nervous or anxious but you have something important you’d like them to know

I have a friend who tells people how he'd like them to react before he comes out. "I have something important to share with you and I'd like you to respond by expressing your love and support."

When you tell them, also let them know you love them and you want a close, honest, loving relationship with them. Be positive and affirming as you talk about being queer.

Understand that they also have a process to go through. Don’t judge them too harshly if their first comments and questions aren’t the kind you’re hoping for.

Be prepared for some questions. They might ask about your future, your faith, your relationships. Maybe even basic things like "Are you sure?" "How did you decide?" "How long have you known?" It's okay to not have an answer to every question, to say you'll get back to them with more thoughts after you’ve had time to think about it. Part of figuring out life comes by living life.

Think about what ways you’d like them to support you. If they ask how can they help, you’ll be ready with some ideas.

Be clear about with whom they can and cannot tell

Make it clear this is the beginning, not the end. There’ll be more conversations.

Have some educational resources for them. (I’ll put some at the bottom of this answer, preview them to see if you'd like to share any of them)

If you’re physically in the same space, I hope at the conclusion of the conversation that things are such that you can give them a hug while saying you love them.

Your parents might need some time to digest the information. You’ve been on this path longer than they have, you’ve worked through difficult feelings and different steps.

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I’m sure you’ve heard people say it, but it does get better. Coming out is a big part of this. Even parents who initially say hurtful things can grow and change.

I genuinely hope the people in your life are loving & supportive. That they appreciate you trusted them and made yourself very vulnerable to share this important part of yourself with them. 

Good Luck! I’d love to hear how it goes!!!

————————————————————— 

There are many resources you can find online with a Google search. In particular, PFLAG is a good organization with lots of resources and support for parents, families, and allies of queer people.

Since your family are LDS, I'm going to share some resources especially meant for them:

The Family Acceptance Project has a very good LDS-specific booklet. The booklet presents what research has determined are "best practices" and the LDS version pairs these with quotes from LDS leaders. (there's a button to download the Family Education Booklet, and it will let you choose which version to download)

The LDS Church has a website aimed at trans members. I think your family my find it useful, especially as it is by the church. The website reaffirms the church's positions but in a way that is more sensitive than your parents have ever heard them taught. The emphasis is on inclusion and love.

The LDS Church also has a website about same-sex attraction, only this one is very much aimed at family and leaders, not so much the individuals who are gay or bi. While you aren't coming out as gay, it gives some good advice for parents of queer children. It's not perfect, but it's reassuring for LDS parents to have church resources.

Encircle House has some great online resources, including this on Gender by Dr. Bill Bradshaw who is a retired BYU researcher/professor and former mission president. Encircle also has a guide for parents when children come out by Dr. Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen, who is a therapist and active LDS Church member

Lift+Love also has a number of great resources, including this page of things from the LDS Church, and Lift+Love provides monthly online groups including for parents with queer children.

[manda-kat]

I literally just woke up from a sleeping realization that Mike chose to sing 'My Way' at the end of Sing. That wasn't the song he rehearsed for the show, which would have been the reasonable choice. That means the song he ended up singing was the one on his heart in that moment. And it makes sense. He knows these bears will kill him if they find out where he is and he's about to sing on live television at a location the bears recognize. His song literally opens with:

"And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain-"

He straight up knows he's about to die, but he cannot let himself lose this competition. Despite everything he said about being in it for the money, I think Mike had bigger reasons to do this. He was a classically trained musician who went to a music school, but graduated with no connections, opportunities or work- so he becomes a street musician. That's why he's so frustrated and angry- he feels he's earned the lifestyle of the famous, rich and respected artist, but he's stuck playing saxophone on the street, getting pennies from strangers.

Guy probably hasn't even paid off his student loans.

When it came down to it and Mike had the opportunity to show just how great he really was- even if it meant he would most likely die- he jumped right in. He'd rather die a star for one short night than live in hiding, constantly looking over his shoulder as these bears chase him down.

I think the song choice was fantastic and intentional and tells you a lot about the mental state of the character without him having to give an out-of-character speech about his feelings.

I just woke up so I can't remember how much of the song you can directly hear in the film since other stuff is going on as well, but the lyrics tell you everything you need to know:

"I've loved, laughed and cried I've had my fill, my share of losing- And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing- To think I did all that And may I say, not in a shy way- Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

For what is a mouse, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught- to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels- The record shows I took the blows and did it my way"

Mike was a jerk, but dang he's tragic if you think about it. I know there is debate on if he actually died or just skipped town, but I think it makes more sense that he died. (Not that I'd be upset if he lived) To think that he straight up expected that to be his last performance and he wanted it to be a testimony of his life and basically singing his own obituary... am I overthinking silly animal movie? Why was I dreaming analysis about silly singing animal movie?? Does any of this make sense or am I still asleep?

Anyway, Sing Good, Mike Sad, Song Choice Fitting, Frank Sinatra always a Win.

[wvrlock]

This post will get rather long, please bear with me while I post all three parts of it.

People have blocked me in the past few days, and I'd rather it is for my own words than by association. I owe that to my mutuals here who have not heard from me in a while, especially those who like to form their own opinions. And I owe it to myself, because I won't keep being hypocritical thinking and talking about how people should handle things like adults but not do it myself and fade without a word.

Racism isn't petty drama, but the way it is handled can be, as it works with everything. I am not here to defend Bunny, or the other person, whose name was not stated "for the sake of their privacy" but King @ anyway — I will keep their name private as for their wishes, and call them X.

The callout was initially intended as a way of raising awareness to Bunny posing as a black person, meant to protect and validate POC. Although I have had ooc contact with him, I honestly cannot tell if he was posing as black, or how they were doing that (I am not American, and what I know of black culture in my country is most likely untrue for others, especially US), so I won't question the many people who spoke of their experience. It did catch my eye, as an external observer, that a few times it was mentioned that he "never claimed to be black", only thought to be. I don't know him or any of the people affected, but I was left with the impression that these claims were a thing brewing in a different circle, and were never brought up to him until it exploded. I don't doubt it is true and harmful for the people affected, but I have yet to see proof that it was intentional and malicious. If you have it, and will be so kind as to educate me, I would want to see it.

He addressed it in his own blog, all of the claims from the callout blog, so they weren't a secret even to his followers outside the bg3 rpc. He mentioned the past callouts, the sexualization of his character and pretending to be black. I think people are smart enough to make their own minds after seeing it there — if they thought he was black, now they knew for sure he wasn't, if they had sensed something odd with the sexualization they knew they weren't alone, and for the past callouts… I had been following Bunny for a while, and it isn't the first time I have heard about them from him. They were not public, but they weren't a secret either.

When I asked for the callout blog, I wanted to see proof of the things he had said, to cut ties with him after reading the testimonies of the affected people and forming my educated opinion. But I found nothing. All of it was telling me that what Bunny said was true: people saying they believed him to be black, people uncomfortable by the sexualization of his muse, and victims of his past. It gave me exactly nothing, except the word of strangers. Sure, I can trust POC's word about this or that being racist, because they know better. But I want to know what 'that' is. As a person who interacted with Bunny, and as a white person who writes some POC and highly sexual characters, I am not interested in "the drama", I want to know what they did wrong so I can learn from it: make sure I don't do it myself, educate my friends, stay away from others who replicate that behavior.

I thought at that point the deed of "keeping the rpc safe" was done. People had their thoughts validated, the person in question had addressed the issue, and most importantly he had added it to his rules. If it was indeed a malicious, intentional racist move, it had no room to ever happen again, and even followers from other rpcs knew of the claims and could form their opinion.

I positioned myself after Bunny's last post, when the issue of misgendering was mentioned, in his tags. I cannot possibly believe that none of the many people publicly or privately involved with the callout read this post. Be said he uses he/they pronouns (and those who follow him know that he's been using he more prominently as of late), and she is reserved for close friends. All over the callout blog he is referred to by the wrong pronouns, not just by people in screenshots, but for OP as well — recently for the excuse that "he has used them in the past, and it is what everyone else is using", but never once correcting it or addressing it. Perhaps people will call this a stretch, or a "desperate excuse to defend a racist", especially coming from a cis woman like myself, but this is a hard line for me, so I don't care. No matter the claims, no one deserves to be misgendered over and over again by dozens of people on a viral blog. It is cruel and dehumanizing. Even if there wasn't a conscious, malicious reasoning by OP, I can't possibly believe no one involved knew he was being misgendered — no one knew beforehand, or read his post, or got anons mentioning it? I don't know if they didn't speak up, or if someone did and wasn't listened to. I don't care. This alone makes me sick, and I don't wish to keep interacting with people who have seen this and did nothing about it.

[logans-mormon-blog]

I don't think I'm gonna get the chance to bear my testimony in church this week because there's only so many minutes in an hour and lots of ward members so instead I'd like to bear my testimony here quick. I'd just like to say this past year has been so good to me. I've had the best year of my life and it came about because I allowed myself to embrace who I am. When I began hrt a year ago, I sort of expected to be hit by a strike of lightening or something but instead I was flooded with peace and the spirit. I could feel that Heavenly Father was proud of me and that he loved me, and those were things grief ans shame had prevented me from feeling for a very long time. I have a testimony that even tho the church isn't perfect it is true and I know god wants me to uplift my fellow gay mormons as best i can. I know God loves us and we are his children and he made us exactly how he wants us. My patriarchal blessing mentions that I will always want to do what God asks but the hard part of life is figuring out exactly what God is asking, and I've found that to be true--that has been the primary struggle in my life. But I know I'm getting closer to knowing and I can feel the spirit confirm to me that there's nothing wrong w me. I'm grateful that the church was restored and that we are able to feel the love of our Heavenly Father. And I say these things in the name of Jesus christ amen

[thefandomcassandra]

hallowed be thy unknown Ch2: Haunted Turnabout 2: Bugloss, Baby's Breath, and Lavender

Waking up for a second time in a holding cell in the metropolitan detention center was a markedly different experience than the first. Having slept instead of passing out meant that her body didn't hurt as much, even if her head ached. Crying a lot dehydrated her and she didn't drink anything but cocoa the day before. Maya rolled off the cot and fumbled for her phone. Thankfully, along with the wiretap and the autopsy report shoved in her sash, she hadn't dropped or broken it.

She has kept it in her grasp the whole time she was out, like a teddy-bear or some other comfort item.

"Battery is fine, from what I could see." Maya jumped and let out a strangled noise. She had forgotten Phoenix was here. Judging by how he was smirking at her, not even disguising his laughter, he was banking on that.

"Don't do that to me!" Maya rubbed at her eyes with the ball of her hand, the pressure alleviating the dull pain in the back of her eye sockets. "I almost threw my phone at you."

"Please don't do that. It's evidence."

Maya sighed through her teeth. "What time is it?"

"I...think it's maybe eight? Nine?" Phoenix hummed as he floated lazily on his back. His scarf brushed the ground, the ends phasing gently through the cell floor, making him look a little like some kind of strange mushroom. "The trial is supposed to start sometime around ten, so we have an hour at the least to prepare."

"Let me get a drink first." Maya shoved her phone in her sash and padded to the sink in the corner of her cell. After taking a few sips of water out of her cupped hands, she splashed her face and shook her hands dry. Then she started undoing her hair.

"Trying to look presentable?"

"I'd rather not look like a murderer when I have to argue that I'm not actually a murderer." Maya combed her fingers through the full length of her hair, wincing as she caught on a few snags. "Besides...it's soothing."

"I'll bet. All I ever had to do was gel mine." He did look like his hair was a simple affair. His morning routine must've been quick.

After a few minutes of combing her hair, Maya spoke up again. The water she drank did wonders to soothe her hoarse throat and lift her spirits. "So, let's prepare. What do I need to know?" Busy hands, busy mind. She was doing her best to not give herself space to sink into the mire of grief that was waiting to swallow her whole.

"General or specifics?"

"Start with general, then narrow it down." Putting her hair up was a time-consuming thing but it was a daily ritual she was used to. Any sense of normality helped right now. "What can I expect in a trial like this?"

"Well it's a murder trial. Probably open gallery, probably meant to be solved quickly, or that's what the prosecution is banking on."

"You mean Prosecutor Edgeworth? He's going to want this to be over with?" She sneered, deft hands pulling her hair up as she talked.

"Even Edgeworth doesn't want to be at court before noon. Preparing for a trial is an hour or more's worth of effort and ten am is a real early hour, let alone nine or eight. Are you a morning person?" Phoenix looked over at Maya, who rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I thought so. Anyway, uh, trial...trial...trial..."

Maya finished working on her hair and leaned back a bit, resting on her hands. "Open court, early trial, in and out."

"Man I miss burgers," Phoenix whined.

"Shut up about burgers." Her stomach growled at the thought.

"Trial, right..." He seemed to find his train of thought from before and hopped back on. "You're looking to appeal to the judge using evidence and facts to get the ruling you want. Pointing out contradictions in testimonies, connecting evidence to each other, and arguing your point using logic is the whole deal."

That sounded easy enough. Maya was halfway decent at puzzles so it couldn't be any more difficult than doing a word-search or sudoku. Just...publicly. In front of people who wanted her to go to jail for life. No pressure.

"Sometimes you want to get a little...creative to prove a point, but that's the basis of a trial. You just need to know the law, the evidence, and the flaw in the witness' testimony."

"Creative? Like lying?" Wasn't lying in court a crime? She was pretty sure that was perjury.

"No, no!" Phoenix laughed. "More like...coloring outside the lines? Suggesting the sky is red to prove it was sunset, not midday. Nothing quite like lying."

"I don't know exactly what you're suggesting but I'll bet I can figure it out as I go."

"Yeah, it won't be that hard. It's a little like improv."

"I know nothing about theater."

"Nobody's perfect."

"Specifics, then, since I think we've covered the basics of this case." Maya quickly changed the subject.

"One last bit of general knowledge: there's a chance we will get more than one day out of this trial. Barring the occasional recess, we have three days and a handful of hours to make our case. We have to be deft with our arguments. No messing about, even if you want to bite the witness' head off." Was he warning her about April May? Did he think she was incapable of controlling herself?

Considering how aggressive she got with Prosecutor Edgeworth in questioning, that was actually a fair worry to have.

"Now...specifics. You have the autopsy report still, right?"

"Right." Maya fished it out of her sash and unfolded it. Mia's name, age, and death stared her in the face in dark black print. She winced and folded it back up again, shoving it out of sight once more.

"The wiretap and your phone are our secret weapons. Don't pull them out or mention them unless we're in a bind and have nothing else." Phoenix looked surprisingly stern about that. "But the autopsy report is a piece of evidence we have access to immediately. That's free game. Use that."

"Use it how?"

"Odds are that during the trial, more evidence will be added to the court record over time. That evidence is, in accordance with evidence law, legal and fair use for both sides. The autopsy report is one of those pieces of evidence. They'll likely add a floorplan of the office as well, if only for tracking the victim and killers movements. Also anything found at the scene of the crime that might be relevant, like the receipt with your name on it or the glass from the light stand. We have to start building our defense based around that."

"We know who actually did it though!" Maya reached for her phone.

Phoenix's smile strained, twisted with sorrow, and Maya stayed her hand. "We can't prove it. Not yet." He was right and she hated it. "But we can, if we're careful and smart, prove May tapped the office. That will discredit her as a witness and buy us another day to gather evidence and testimony. Maybe we can even get her to give up her boss."

Maya's fingernails bit into her palms as she squeezed her hands into tight fists. "Okay. Okay. And all I need to do is listen to what you tell me and argue like my life depends on it?"

"Not quite 'argue', but yes. Like your life depends on it, because it does." Phoenix gave Maya one last lazy grin and righted himself in midair. "You got this, Maya. Remember what I told you."

"Imitate Mia." She took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled slowly. "Right. Thanks, Phoenix."

"You're welcome! Now, chin up, here comes the cavalry!" Maya stood up as he said that and turned to face the door to her holding cell. Two of the faceless cops were there to take her to the courthouse, fighting the stubborn cell lock.

When the door opened, one of them walked in while the other remained outside her cell. "Miss Maya Fey," one of them called out. Maya stepped forward and offered her hands. The officer cuffed her and motioned for her to follow them.

"Have you eaten?" The cop in front of her asked. Maya frowned, unsure of what they were after.

"No?"

"There should be snacks in the defendant's lobby. Detective Gumshoe asked we prepare them for you."

Oh. "That's...kind."

"That's Detective Gumshoe for you!" The cop sounded delighted just talking about the large man. "He's a real sweetheart. One time he brought a baker's dozen variety box for everyone working a rough shift. I almost cried."

"I did cry," the other cop added.

"Detective Gumshoe sure seems like he's beloved." Phoenix whistled in awe. He was walking in lockstep with Maya, half-in half-out the wall next to her. "That's something to consider. Nice of Lana to let us borrow such a good man."

Detective Gumshoe...he was one of the more kind people Maya had to interact with yesterday. If it wasn't for the fact that he seemed to worship the ground Prosecutor Edgeworth walked on, he might even be her friend. But he did, so he wasn't.

The rest of the walk to Defendant Lobby No.1 was moderately silent. Even Phoenix was deep in thought, worrying the ends of his scarf as he floated. Maya, too, was thinking a lot.

Thoughts about evidence and arguing and who really killed Mia. Thoughts about Prosecutor Edgeworth and April May. Thoughts about all the people in the gallery who would be watching her, judging her. The short, chubby girl in weird traditional clothing who was being accused of killing her sister. They'd think she deserved the verdict being handed to her, that she was a weird little cultist or something.

Maya took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled. Be like Mia. What would Mia do? She'd ignore the whispers. She'd hold her head high.

The inside of the defendant's lobby was nice and, like the cops had said, there were snacks. Bottled water, a bagel with a single serving of cream cheese, and a small orange. A halfway decent breakfast, actually.

"That's really nice of Gumshoe, actually. Wow."

Maya didn't bother responding, just immediately smeared the inside of the bagel with cream cheese using a plastic knife from a package of disposable utensils. Then she took a huge bite and washed it down with water. It was the best bagel she'd ever had.

It sat a little heavy in her stomach but that might've been her nerves.

"Remember: be professional. Be like Mia. Don't talk out of turn without objecting first. Don't push too hard. Watch your language and your tone. Don't get too emotional." Phoenix coached from where he was floating near the door to the courtroom.

Maya took another bite out of the bagel, her handcuffs rattling a bit as she did. "Be calm, be like Mia. Be calm, be like Mia." She accidentally inhaled bagel crumbs and coughed for a couple moments. Water fixed the issue but it put her off food for a second so she idly peeled the orange to kill time.

"Please don't die." Maya had the feeling Phoenix wasn't joking when he asked her that.

"No dying before my trial." She ate an orange slice. Juice dripped down her fingers and she frowned. "I wonder if I can clean my hands before I enter..."

"Wipe down using the water and a napkin before your fingers get sticky," Phoenix advised.

Maya scrubbed her fingers clean. With a full stomach, she felt better about her chances. Now she just needed to get the cuffs off and she'd feel way better about her chances.

Being uncuffed did nothing to calm Maya's nerves, it turned out. She just had full range of motion with her arms now. Yay.

The courtroom looked enormous and intimidating from her place on the witness stand. The judge—an older bearded man with a stern face—was sitting feet above everyone else, peering down his nose at both benches and the witness stand. The gallery was filled with murmuring masses at about the same level as the judge. On either side of the witness stand, forming parentheticals when viewed from high-up, were the prosecution and defense's benches.

The only unoccupied parts of the courtroom were the defendant's seat and the defense's bench—both of which should be filled by Maya, but she was too busy sweating bullets at the stand. Well, actually, Phoenix was standing behind the defense's bench but he was visible only to Maya, so it looked empty to everyone else.

"Stating the case, checking to make sure both sides are ready, opening statement from the prosecution, then the first witness." Phoenix laid out the starting part of the trial for her as he stood at the ready. This was the most professional she'd ever seen him, his posture rigid, his face stern and a little unreadable, and his feet firmly on the ground. He was taking this seriously. She should too.

Opposite him, Prosecutor Edgeworth looked as clean-pressed and as cold as he was the day before. Nothing about him had changed and that made Maya a little frustrated.

Couldn't he at least pretend to feel guilty about pinning her with a murder charge? Even a little bit?

The judge banged his little hammer—gavel?—on his podium and the idle chatter of the gallery faded to silence. "Court is now in session for the trial of Maya Fey. Am I to understand that the defendant will be representing herself?" The judge's voice, while it did betray his age, was firm and carried well through the vaulted hall.

"The judge is 'Your Honor'," Phoenix supplied.

Maya straightened up and tilted her chin, trying her best to imitate Mia as she spoke. "Yes, Your Honor."

"Is there any reason why?"

Phoenix shrugged at her. "Can't hurt to be honest?"

"I was unable to find a lawyer willing to push for full acquittal and have been studying law in my spare time." It's not technically perjury, right? Only half of that statement was untrue.

Prosecutor Edgeworth snorted derisively. "Please. Do you really think that you can hold your own here? Let alone overturn the charges against you?"

"I believe that the truth will prevail. I didn't kill Mia. That is the truth." Maya didn't even need to pretend to be Mia then. The frustration she felt at being talked down to was enough to banish her nerves.

"Very well," the judge sighed and gestured for her to take her place at the bench, "Let us begin."

"The defense is ready," Phoenix offered.

Maya repeated with gusto. "The defense is ready, Your Honor."

"The prosecution is ready, Your Honor." Prosecutor Edgeworth was playing this by the books, it seemed.

"Your opening statement?" The judge prompted.

An opening statement, Maya remembered, was a way for the prosecution to summarize their case against the defendant. The cliffnotes version of all their paperwork, as it were. If they still used juries in trials, the opening statement would be the hook to entice the jurors' attention and sway their ruling.

"Your Honor, the defendant was found unconscious at the scene of the crime on the night of the murder. An eyewitness account places her there during the act, as the perpetrator and the prosecution has decisive evidence that points to her as well." Prosecutor Edgeworth tapped the stack of papers in his hand on his bench, settling them and putting them down as a show that he was done recounting the facts of the matter. "While she vehemently insists she is innocent, there is no doubt in our mind she is guilty of manslaughter, if not outright murder."

"A bold but understandable claim." He won over the judge easily, it seemed. Maya bit back a frown.

"Thank you, Your Honor." Prosecutor Edgeworth gave a little bow. It made Maya's blood boil. She wanted to clonk him on the back of the head with the Thinker. Asshole. "The prosecution calls its first witness, Detective Gumshoe, to the stand."

From beside her, Phoenix let out a held breath. "Listen closely. The court stenographer will provide you with typed versions of any and all witness testimonies as they occur but hearing how things are said are just as important as hearing what is being said."

Maya nodded and turned her attention away from smug-ass Prosecutor Edgeworth and to the enormous man taking to the witness stand.

"Witness, please state your name and occupation." Like the judge, Prosecutor Edgeworth spoke with authority and force. Maybe there was a trick to talking like that. Maybe she should ask Phoenix what it was.

"Dick Gumshoe, homicide detective for the local precinct, sir!" Detective Gumshoe looked tense, even as he saluted.

"Tell us about the investigation," Prosecutor Edgeworth commanded.

Detective Gumshoe nodded and began. "The victim, Miss Mia Fey, was found dead at about ten pm on the fifth. Her body was leanin' against the wall beneath the window of her office. She'd been struck once by a blunt object and that's what killed her."

"The murder weapon?"

"He's getting evidence added," Phoenix explained.

"This statue of the Thinker." Detective Gumshoe reached into his jacket pocket and pulled a labeled bag out. Inside was the murder weapon, the so-called 'statue'.

"It's been processed. See the label there?" Phoenix pointed at the laminated label on the bag. "That has the casefile, identification, time of recovery, verification date, and supplementary information on it. If we need to get a closer look, we can request to see it or I can just float over and take a peek so you don't have to put on gloves."

You probably would need gloves to handle evidence, wouldn't you.

Maya suddenly realized something, pulled the autopsy report out of her sash, and unfolded it, trying to smooth the creases out of it against the bench. This was going to be important soon enough.

"Now, continue your testimony." Prosecutor Edgeworth didn't even give Detective Gumshoe a second to rest, immediately demanding he keep talking. No wonder he was starved for praise. "You arrested the defendant at the scene, in spite of her being unconscious, correct? Explain yourself."

"Well, see, we had decisive evidence she did it, sir. That's why me and the boys clapped the unconscious defendant and dropped her in the center." Prosecutor Edgeworth raised a singular eyebrow. Detective Gumshoe swallowed and started to speak again, spurred on by whatever emotion that stirred in him. "I was one of the first to arrive on the scene. Got there about five minutes after the call came in. There was the body of the victim layin' there but so was the defendant. She was out cold and that was worryin' and all, but she was breathing. After checkin' she was good, we picked Miss Maya up. The whole reason we even grabbed her is coz the eyewitness said she did it, which is pretty damning. Anyway, I stayed behind while she was bein' processed so I could help with the investigation and found some hard evidence."

"Defense?" The judge turned to look at Maya. She straightened up and made direct eye-contact with him.

"Yes, Your Honor?"

"Your cross-examination?" Oh. He was prompting her. How kind.

"Of course. Thank you, Your Honor." Maya looked at the papers the stenographer handed her.

Each line of Detective Gumshoe's testimony was typed out with immaculate accuracy. Maya was impressed with the quality. Court stenographers were to be feared.

Still...Detective Gumshoe's testimony wasn't openly incorrect. Mia had been dead when the police arrived. Maya had already passed out, too, so she was unable to explain herself. April May said she did it so Detective Gumshoe was telling the truth by quoting her as the reason they arrested her.

She must've been making a face because Phoenix clicked his tongue in amusement. "Remember when I said sometimes you need to say the sky is red to prove the sun was setting?" Maya barely nodded at him but he seemed to pick up on it anyway. "This is similar. When you can't find an immediate problem with a testimony—like this one—press every statement. The witness is bound to slip up eventually, accidentally undoing their entire testimony with one misplaced word."

"Alright." Maya turned to face Detective Gumshoe, the transcript in her hand, and began her cross-examination by starting from the beginning.

"You said you arrived first on the scene, about five minutes after the police were called?" Maya locked eyes with the detective.

He gave her an asymmetrical and very sincere grin. "Well, yeah! The motto of the precinct this month is 'fast response'!"

"They've had less complaints, that's for sure," Phoenix noted.

"And the witness, April May, is the one who called you from her room in the Gatewater?" Maya wondered if he had any exploitable opinions about her.

"Yeah." The smile on Detective Gumshoe's face faltered a little, but didn't disappear entirely. "But you already knew that, didn't you, pal?"

"He's got you there."

"True." Maya swallowed a flash of shame and continued. "I just wanted to make sure of that fact."

"Please refrain from wasting the court's time with pointless questions," Prosecutor Edgeworth added. Maya's grip on the transcript tightened. She had to force herself to loosen her fist so she could read it again.

"Of course." Turning back to Detective Gumshoe, Maya scanned down the transcript a bit.

"Ask about why they arrested you, an unconscious minor." When Maya shot Phoenix an accusatory glare, he rolled his eyes. "I know, but maybe you can get an extra mile out of your age. No harm in trying."

"So you found a dead woman and an unconscious minor and simply arrested the latter?" Maya tried her best to sound neutral but she was pretty sure that she just came off as irritated.

"Objection!" Prosecutor Edgeworth shouted from across the court. The sound of his hand against the desk startled Maya and she dropped the transcript. "The defendant's age does not matter in this regard due to, quote, 'hard evidence', unquote, given to the investigative team on their way to the crime scene."

"Counter: your age means processing you for arrest should be handled differently than an adult."

"Objection!" Maya did her best to shout back with gusto. She felt a little silly. "As I am underage and not legally an adult, aren't there different ways to process my arrest?"

"Is that a concern, Miss Fey?" Prosecutor Edgeworth snidely asked. "Detention without notifying your guardian?"

Maya gritted her teeth and steadier herself. "No, Prosecutor Edgeworth. I am simply pointing out that, with regards to my arrest, I believe it was mishandled."

"Then the prosecutor's office will take that up with law enforcement at a later date. It has no bearing on this case or the charges against you." Cool as a cucumber, the prosecutor waved a hand at her, dismissing her concerns.

"Objection sustained," the judge banged his gavel and that was that.

Maya's cheeks were hot with embarrassment.

"Chin up. That was a long-shot anyway." Phoenix wrapped and unwrapped the end of his scarf around his hand as he thought. "Damning evidence is vague and Edgeworth called it 'hard evidence' before so I think Gumshoe is adjusting his wording on the stand. Try that."

"Detective Gumshoe, you arrested me due to an eyewitness account, correct?" Simple sentences meant she had less space to trip over her words. Direct and to the point would be better overall.

"Yeah?" Detective Gumshoe looked confused. To be fair, it was a strange start to a line of questioning but she had an idea on how to approach this.

"What made you and your, quote, 'boys', unquote, decide to blindly believe her? This so-called 'hard evidence'?" Pointed words, pointed questions. She was trying her best to find a chink in his armor.

"Well, like you said Miss Maya: we had hard evidence."

"There we go." Phoenix was grinning. "Assume the evidence was the testimony. That will discredit him on that front."

It felt bad to attack Detective Gumshoe like this but...life or death. Her life or death. "In what world is what some pink voyeur's opinion considered 'hard evidence'?"

"Whoops. Watch how you say stuff."

"Hey!" Detective Gumshoe frowned at her, upset either by her choice of words or her accusation. "When did I say Miss May's statement was the 'hard evidence'?"

"You certainly didn't say what 'hard evidence' you did have." Prosecutor Edgeworth wagged his pointer finger at the detective. "It's not a stretch to assume you meant her statement as opposed to anything else."

"W-well yeah, no!" Detective Gumshoe backpedaled. "That's not what I meant though! Miss May's testimony is a whole different thing! The evidence is, uh..." He rifled through his pockets again and pulled out another evidence bag—smaller and flat. "Here we go!"

"There it is." Phoenix's expression became grim. He stared at the new evidence.

"What is this?" The judge asked.

"This is the 'hard evidence' that I said called for Miss Maya's arrest. It's got her name on it in the victim's blood." He sounded so proud of himself.

Across the courtroom, Prosecutor Edgeworth looked smug and satisfied. It took everything Maya had to not gnash her teeth and scream in frustration.

"...how would she have even had time to write your name?" That...was a good question. She just had to find an opening.

"Detective!" Detective Gumshoe jumped to attention. "Testify to the acquisition of this evidence."

"Yes sir!" Once again, the detective began his testimony. Hopefully this one would be easier to disprove. "The blood is a positive match to the victims. In addition, we found blood under the fingernail of her right index finger. This points to her having written the name of her killer! That is, unfortunately, the defendant."

"Mia is right-handed so asking about the finger would be pointless because they'd assume anyways. We can't contest the blood test because it is a positive match. But why would the killer try and frame you?"

"You may now cross-examine the witness," the judge prompted. Maya gave him a polite half-bow and quickly scanned the new transcript handed to her. She was steadily accruing a pile of papers. It made her wish for a manilla folder or some kind of binder to hold them all.

"Detective, you said that the v— that Mia wrote my name on this paper in her own blood." Deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths. "What makes you think that the name she wrote down is that of her killer?"

"Well isn't that how it always goes?"

The courtroom fell silent. Even Phoenix, who had been rather laid back to this point, looked befuddled. "Does - does he think that this is a movie?"

"Detective Gumshoe," Prosecutor Edgeworth spoke through his teeth, low and controlled, "You're telling us that you not only based your arrest on a singular witness but also a piece of evidence that is more common in fiction than in real life?"

To his credit, the detective did seem to realize he was being chastised. He flinched and began fiddling with the lining of his jacket, averting his eyes away from the prosecutor's bench. "Well, I mean, uh...why else would she have written it? It's her blood, usin' her finger, on a piece of paper she had lyin' around in her office and all. Who else could've done it?"

"The killer perhaps?" Maya tried to keep her indignation from showing. It wasn't his fault he watched too many action-and-or-mystery films.

"Right, right, the autopsy report. That's a huge contradiction!" Phoenix almost lifted off the ground with excitement. Maya nodded and turned back to Detective Gumshoe.

"You say that Mia wrote my name down with her own blood to prove I was the killer, correct?" How to go about wording this. What would Mia say?

"Yeah. In movies, victims write their killer's names down all the time."

"That's clearly impossible!" It felt good to have an excuse to yell in court. It felt good to have an excuse to yell in general. "According to the autopsy report I was given, her recorded cause of death was: blunt force trauma, instentaneous." Detective Gumshoe stared at her, confused. Time to deliver the final blow. "There's no way that she could have written my name in her own blood if she died instantly!"

Phoenix whooped from next to her. "There we go! That's a wonderful contradiction you've found! That should throw the prosecution off their game."

And yet...Prosecutor Edgeworth seemed unbothered by her accusation. In fact, he seemed also amused. He chuckled and waggled his finger at Maya. "Aren't you getting ahead of yourself Miss Fey?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When did you get this autopsy report of yours?"

Why was he asking that? What did the time she got the report even matter? An autopsy report was an autopsy report! It was a record. You don't just change records!

"Yesterday, during my investigation." If he was surprised she was allowed to investigate despite being under arrest, he didn't show it.

Instead, he just laughed and clucked his tongue at her. "Now, now, Miss Fey. I'm afraid that information you have is out of date."

"What?" Maya looked over at Phoenix. He shrugged at her, as confused as she was.

"On my orders, the coroners inspected the victim again and we have more accurate information about her death. As it is: she did not die instantaneously. There is a possibility that she was alive for a few minutes after she was struck, giving her plenty of time to write down her killer's name for the authorities to find." Prosecutor Edgeworth produced the new autopsy report. A copy of it was handed to Maya.

She seethed as she stared at the new information, the paper crumpling in her grip.

Victim: Mia Fey (27, Female) Time of Death: 9/5 at 9:00PM Cause: Single blunt force trauma. May have lived for a few minutes after being hit.

May have lived for a few minutes after being hit. May have lived for a few minutes. Well wasn't that convenient.

"That's...underhanded." Phoenix frowned at Prosecutor Edgeworth. He seemed more bothered at his tactics than the actual fact of the matter. "It's not unheard of for an updated autopsy report to be requested, but usually it's with good reason. I don't know what reason Edgeworth might have had for requesting a re-examination but it's certainly put our one good point out to pasture. I guess we can only wait to tear into May, right?"

"Right..." Maya hissed through her teeth.

"Do you still believe you have a leg to stand on with regards to her dying message, Miss Fey, or do the facts no longer support your supposition?" Prosecutor Edgeworth smirked at her from across the courtroom. "Do we need to continue to bother the detective or shall we let him remove himself from the stand now that he's said his piece?"

"I don't think we should put poor Gumshoe through any more. He looks like he's going to cry." True to Phoenix's word, the detective was hunched over, his eyes shining as he looked at the floor. "Let's let this go for now."

"I hate him," Maya muttered. She took a deep breath and straightened up, then exhaled. "Your Honor, I am done with my cross-examination of this witness."

Prosecutor Edgeworth bowed to the judge and the gallery. "Thank you, Miss Fey. The prosecution will now call its second witness to the stand."

April May. Maya was not looking forward to seeing her again.

Detective Gumshoe left the stand and went to stand somewhere on the side of the prosecution while one of the bailiffs walked April May into the courtroom. The gallery erupted in noise. The judge banged his gavel in an attempt to wrangle everyone into silence.

"Order! Order!"

Maya glared daggers at April May, whose sweet perfume permeated the courtroom long before she did. The woman, however, paid Maya no mind and just leaned forward so her shirt showed off more of her cleavage while she winked at the judge.

"The witness will refrain from wanton winking." The judge scolded as he banged his gavel again, trying to quell the gallery. Maya suddenly had so much respect for the old man. He wasn't entertaining her nonsense.

"Witness, your name and occupation?" Prosecutor Edgeworth prompted.

April May pursed her lips, then spoke as if she had to dig deep to remember anything important. "April May. I'm a professional."

Phoenix grimaced. "A professional what? Liar? Seductress?"

"You claim to have witnessed the crime and can identify the killer, correct?" Like the judge, Prosecutor Edgeworth was not rising to her bait. Maya was less impressed by his stoicism. She would have paid money to see him trip ass over teakettle because April May decided she wanted to get her claws in him.

"Uh, yeah?" April May pressed a manicured finger to her lips as she thought. "I was in my hotel room at the time, but I saw everything. Obviously it was the defendant, right?"

"Hey!" Maya wanted to tear her a new one but Phoenix stopped her before she could continue.

"Don't. Wait for cross-examination. If we misstep you might be found in contempt of court and your defense will be thrown out." Maya took a deep breath at his insistence and straightened herself up. "Remember: we have the wiretap, we have the recording of your call with Mia. We can find a contradiction in her testimony easier than Gumshoe's because we know she's lying."

"What, am I wrong, little miss killer?" April May sneered at Maya, then went back to making doe-eyes at Prosecutor Edgeworth. "I'd recognize her anywhere! Even at the distance I was at. I could tell it was her as clear as day, Mister Prosecutor."

"Your testimony then, Miss May." For the first time since this trial started, Maya was glad that Prosecutor Edgeworth was curt. It meant that April May wasn't going to get away with much.

"Okay!" April May leaned forward again and began to speak. "So at nine pm that night I was looking out my hotel room window. The view is super pretty up there, you know? Across the street I saw one of the rooms was lit up and the silhouette of someone was in it. Two someones, really. There was this person with long hair being attacked by the defendant. The lady dodged to the right and tried to run but she couldn't escape. The little killer smacked her on the head and she slumped out of sight and never got again, I promise. That's when I called the cops, coz I'm such a good citizen and all..." She leaned over the witness stand and kicked her leg up, staring piteously up at the judge, who was unmoved by her brazen display.

"What a crock." Phoenix was immediately unhappy with April May's testimony, not that Maya was any happier. "Between her way of saying what she saw and her supposed luck in noticing something going down across the street, it's not as if we don't have a lot of places to pick apart. The important thing though...that's her description of you. When we were in her hotel room, how good of a view did she have of the office window?"

"Not a very good one," Maya muttered. "She shouldn't have been...able...to notice...details..." That was what was important.

"As you can see," Prosecutor Edgeworth was saying, a smug air about him, "airtight proof that the defendant is the one who assaulted the victim. The prosecution rests, Your Honor."

"Well," the judge mused, "That certainly is a rather decisive testimony, like the detective said."

"The prosecution did not want to waste the court's time, Your Honor. That is why we brought forward Miss April May so soon." What was Prosecutor Edgeworth even playing at? Did he expect her to just roll over?

"Well, let's start pushing."

Maya grinned at April May as she was handed a transcript of her testimony. "My cross-examination, Your Honor?"

"Is that truly necessary?" She glared at Prosecutor Edgeworth as he wagged a finger at her, almost scolding her. "I am well aware of your sister's...proclivity for dragging a case out long past its prime. Have you also learned that cowardly tactic?"

What was he on about?

"He's hoping to intimidate you into stepping back." Phoenix seemed upset by this. "I don't know why he had to bring Mia into it though."

Jokes on him. "It is my right, as the defense, to cross-examine every witness, right?"

"That's correct." The judge was on her side here.

"I am exercising that right and nothing the prosecution could say will dissuade me." Maya sneered at Prosecutor Edgeworth, all teeth and malice. "Unless he is worried I might uncover inconsistencies in Miss May's testimony?"

"By all means," Prosecutor Edgeworth bowed at her, his sarcasm obvious, "examine away Miss Fey."

"You may begin, defense."

Maya turned her ire to April May and immediately found the part of her testimony that felt the weakest. "April May, you said that you saw...Mia and myself in the office that night from your hotel room, right?"

"Yep." She popped the end of her word, idly examining her nails. If she was hoping the cold shoulder might make Maya back off, she was wrong.

"I visited your hotel room yesterday to see how good of a view you might have had. While you can see the office without issue, I do think you couldn't have been able to identify myself or Mia at that distance, let alone if we were backlit."

"Oh?" That got April May's attention. Her pupils narrowed and she bared her teeth at Maya. "Maybe you should get your eyes checked, little killer. I could see perfectly well. Your sister was this slender lady with long hair and you were short and kinda fat. Hard to miss."

Phoenix frowned. "Why did she choose your silhouette to pick on?"

"Was that all you noticed about my sister and I? Our height and build?" Maya had a vague idea what was bothering Phoenix but she wanted to make April May do all the heavy lifting.

"Aside from you fighting, isn't that all that matters? You're not memorable." Well that was a blatant lie.

Maya smirked. Got her. "I think you're wrong, April May. Any other person wouldn't have been focused on how short or fat I was. The first thing most people notice about me is my clothes." She stood in a way that showed the judge her traditional clothing.

"Your clothes are distinctive," the judge nodded at her. "Where are they from?"

"Why does it matter?" April May interjected. She was unhappy about losing control of the narrative but that didn't matter. Maya had already started chipping apart her cutesy persona.

"I'm from a small mountain village called Kurain. We're pretty traditional like this, though we've recently had more modern touches to our homes like phones and televisions."

"And how, pray tell, does any of this have to do with Miss May's testimony or its accuracy?" Prosecutor Edgeworth seemed somewhere between bored and irritated.

"If she can't be trusted with details, how can we be certain she saw everything clearly?!" Maya was riding the high of the judge's approval a little.

"I just didn't think that all those trifling little details even mattered!" April May pouted and batted her eyelashes at Prosecutor Edgeworth. He seemed unmoved. "I saw all of them, of course, but if you need them in my testimony I can put them back in, like how I saw the defendant kill her only sister with that clock."

"Oh!" Phoenix leaned forward across the bench. "Wait! Isn't it..." He walked to where the Thinker was being held and read the label. "Yeah! It's still marked as a statue! Maya, object to her statement. Use the transcript where Gumshoe added the evidence in."

The wiretap. Maya leaned forward and slammed her hands on the bench as hard as she could. "Objection!"

April May, Prosecutor Edgeworth, and the judge looked at her in confusion.

"April May, you said that the murder weapon was a clock, correct?" Maya shuffled through the pages of the transcript until she found the part she was looking for.

"Uh, yeah?" April May seemed unconcerned.

Maya smirked. "However, there's no way you should know that. The Thinker was submitted as a statue, not a clock."

April May hissed, not unlike an angry cat. "Wh-what do you mean?!"

"April May, there is no way you should logically know that this heavy object is a clock." Maya gestured to the evidence in its little bag. "So why did you?"

"Uh, um...I heard it, that's right!" She was grasping at straws. "It says the time when you turn its head, right?"

"True, if the clock wasn't hollow right now." Phoenix was grinning with Maya, his eyes focused on April May as if he was a predator watching his prey. "Keep going. You've got her."

"While it is a clock, I doubt you'd be able to hear it from where your hotel room is. Also, it's not as if the clock was working that night."

"Objection! How would you know it was a clock, Miss Fey?" Edgeworth leaned forward as he asked, clearly unhappy with how out of hand things had gotten. "You were in Kurain until the day of the murder, correct? That item was a gift given to the victim but a few days before she was killed."

"Now it's time for the phone call." Phoenix seemed unbothered by the pushback. "You can prove your knowledge and disprove May's claim at the same time."

"My sister called me the day of, remember? She asked me to take care of the clock, which she had emptied of its mechanical parts."

"Are we supposed to take you at your word?" Prosecutor Edgeworth sneered at her.

"I don't expect you to." Time to put him in his place. "That's why I have proof."

As Prosecutor Edgeworth staggered from the force of her words, the gallery erupted into noise. The judge banged his gavel. "Order! Order in the court! What do you mean by this, defense?"

"The police confiscated my phone when they placed me in the detention center. While they had it, they checked my call history as well as my messages. What they didn't check was my recorded calls." Maya pulled her phone out and quickly navigated the menus. "If the court would listen to this, I'm sure all will become clear."

The recording played, the courtroom silent as everyone listened to two sisters happily talk about seeing one another. Maya watched Prosecutor Edgeworth as it finally got to the point where Mia admitted to hollowing out the Thinker—a clock—and storing documents in it. He was grimacing, clutching at his arm as he listened.

April May, on the other hand, looked plain furious.

"As you can see, Your Honor," Maya put her phone down on the bench in plain sight, "while I knew the Thinker was a clock—and a broken one at that—April May should not have!"

"W-well it's not like this is a particularly special clock," April May tried to recover her position. "I've probably seen it before, in one of those novelty stores in the mall."

"That's a complete lie." Phoenix looked almost surprised by how brazen she was being. Maya didn't understand why though. "Larry made that. There's only two of them in existence and one is evidence for a prior murder case." Oh. Alright then.

"Objection!" She didn't have to do that but something about loudly objecting to what April May was saying felt good. "There is no way you could have seen this in a store, novelty or otherwise."

"What are you saying?" April May sneered at Maya. "Everything is in stores and if it's not, it's online. Just because you live in the mountains where you have to barter clothes for chickens—"

"You wouldn't be able to find this in a store because it's handmade, April May. There's only two of these in the entire world: this one and the one in an evidence locker in the precinct." That was where cops put evidence after cases were done with, right? Evidence lockers? If she was wrong, nobody was refuting her.

"What?!"

"Mia didn't tell me much about work but I do know that during the last case my sister took, a Thinker clock—the sibling to this one, in fact—was used in a similar fashion. It's not left police custody since, so to speak. You should have no way to know this is a clock!" Maya slammed her hands on the bench and gave April May a fierce smile.

The woman bared her teeth and clutched at the witness stand. "How—?"

"Objection!" Before she could get any further, Prosecutor Edgeworth interrupted her. He was trying to regain control of the trial. "Miss May could have easily been present at said trial, which is why she knew the murder weapon was a clock."

"Unlikely. Time to pull our other trump card, Maya." Phoenix turned his full attention to her, his blank eyes somehow sparkling. "Time to prove April May was tapping the office phone."

"Objection! From the very start of this trial, April May has been lying about a crucial detail and that is her knowledge of the crime. There is no way she could have the information she does—such as my relationship with the victim or the true nature of the murder weapon—without having heard it firsthand." April May had, in fact, said that Mia and Maya were sisters. That wasn't something that had been said in her presence before that moment.

"Just what are you suggesting?" It was going to feel so good, taking Prosecutor Edgeworth down a peg.

"I'm suggesting that April May was tapping the Fey & Co. Law Offices."

The judge quelled the gallery's surprise. "Order! Order! What are you saying, defense? I hope you have evidence to substantiate your accusation."

"I do." Maya pulled the wiretap from her sash and presented it to the judge. "As you can see here, Your Honor, this is a wiretapping device. I found this inside the dresser of April May's hotel room, alongside the screwdriver she used to retrieve it the night of the murder."

Again, the gallery exploded with surprise and shock. Again, the judge slammed down his gavel. "Order in the court! Are you saying you stole this from the witness' hotel room?"

"Bring up how loose the phone base was. Try and use Gumshoe to corroborate that." Phoenix looked as on-edge as Maya felt.

"When I was examining the crime scene, I noticed the base of the office phone was loose, as if someone had sloppily put it back together." April May glared daggers at Maya but she didn't care. "If you need to, you can confirm that with Detective Gumshoe."

Prosecutor Edgeworth was glaring at the detective, who seemed to be mumbling something to him. Then he turned to face the judge. "I have been informed that yes, the office phone seems to have been disassembled and yes, the defendant didn't touch anything at the crime scene so she could not have been the one to tamper with it." Ha ha.

"Having seen that, I figured that maybe someone tapped her phone. In the witness' hotel room, a screwdriver was poking out of the dresser drawer and that piqued my interest. That's where I found the wiretap."

"I was under the impression your investigation was under strict supervision as a probationary act." The judge frowned at her but Maya couldn't even pretend to feel bad for stealing evidence. "Am I wrong?"

"Take the penalty."

"I take full responsibility for my actions."

The judge shook his head at her. "Consider this your first ever penalty in court. It will not happen again, understood?"

"Of course, Your Honor." Maya gave him a half-bow, unwilling to show him how much she was grinning. She was so close to an actual result. She was so close to buying an extra day. Now all she had to do was drag April May's employer out of her.

"Good. Now, Miss May, did you wiretap the victim's phone?" The judge turned his stern gaze to April May.

The woman looked furious, like a snarling beast. Her nails dug into the witness stand, her pupils slits, and she was baring her teeth at Maya. When the judge asked her that, she took a breath and smoothed down her hair, pulling her fake cuteness around her once more. "Um...why does that matter?"

"'Why does that matter?' That's a felony!" Phoenix was taken aback at her attitude. "If she keeps this up, we can get her whole testimony thrown out."

"Because, Miss April May, wiretapping is a serious offense that you will be charged on when we are done with your testimony." Prosecutor Edgeworth's voice was tense and monotone. If Maya had to take a guess as to what was bothering him, she'd say it was how she had the upper hand now—even if she didn't have definitive proof to finger the real culprit. "Be honest."

"For once in your life," Maya muttered under her breath.

"I mean, the trial isn't even about that, is it? It's about murder and I know that little brat murdered her!" Riding the line between saccharine and cutting, April May glared daggers at Maya, who returned the favor. "What harm does a little tippity-tapping even do?"

"Aside from calling your entire testimony into question: implicating you as the true killer!" If Maya sounded a little smug, it's because she felt smug. They had her on the ropes and Maya had done almost all of the legwork. What a rush! "You had to have retrieved the wiretap between when Mia called me and when the office was locked down as a crime scene. That gives you plenty of time to have entered the office, killed my sister, removed the wiretap, left the office, and then called the police."

April May hissed and clutched at the witness stand, her fingernails gouging out lines in the wood. "You can't be serious?"

"Like a murder charge."

"I didn't kill her! I was in my hotel room!" She was cornered.

"Where's your proof then?" And that is when Maya got a little too cocky.

Something changed in April May's posture and she smiled oh-so-sweetly once more. "Coffee."

"Huh?"

"I had iced coffee at nine pm on the dot." She laughed, high-pitched and sugar-coated. "It was delivered by room service. The bellboy can prove I couldn't have left my room at the time of the murder."

Phoenix was shocked by her sudden change. "She has an alibi? Was that coffee ordered on purpose? It had to have been. I know I saw more than one name on the guest book when we were there but I can't remember if she had someone rooming with her."

"Shall we get the bellboy to corroborate her alibi?" Prosecutor Edgeworth asked the judge.

The judge nodded at him. "Fetch the bellboy of the Gatewater Hotel."

"As it stands, the prosecution already subpoenaed the bellboy when questioning the current witness revealed the existence of  her alibi." Prosecutor Edgeworth smiled at Maya, almost daring her to object. "He is in the prosecution's lounge as we speak, politely waiting his turn. Is this amicable to the defense?"

"Huh?" Maya didn't understand what he was asking.

"Do you really want to waste your time trying to prove Miss April May could be the true culprit by cross-examining the bellboy or are you willing to admit defeat and take my gracious offer?" His gracious offer of a manslaughter charge.

"Looks like May isn't the only one being catty right now." Phoenix laughed at his own joke. "But in all seriousness, take the chance. We might be able to prove her boss was there and that's more important."

"The defense believes that, in spite of what the prosecution might say, the wiretapping is relevant to the murder and, as I stated at the very beginning, I stand by my original goal of a full acquittal. I didn't kill Mia and the wiretapping proves I wasn't the only one who knew where she was going to be at the time of the murder." Trying to remember all the fancy lawyer words as she got emotional was hard but she was managing. Maybe when all this was done, she'd get her hands on a word-a-day calendar or something. Expand her vocabulary.

Prosecutor Edgeworth clicked his tongue in disappointment and wagged his finger at her. "If that's how you wish to proceed, so be it. The prosecution only has one request."

"And that is?" The judge asked.

"If the bellboy's testimony reveals nothing of value, then the trial will end and the defense will stop trying to drag things out."

Phoenix sighed. "I don't know why he's being so aggressive. This is just a murder case and he and Mia weren't even friends! He's taking this so personally."

"Deal." Maya didn't even hesitate. If Phoenix had seen someone's name with April May's in the guest book, then the coffee had to have been an intended alibi. She stared Prosecutor Edgeworth in the eyes, unwavering. His cold gaze seemed to slide right off of her.

"Then by all means, have at it." He bowed to her. She did her best to swallow her anger and simply rolled her eyes.

April May was arrested and led away while the bellboy was brought forward to the stand—still carrying a tray with tea on it, of all things. He looked pleased as punch to be standing on a witness stand for a murder trial.

Maya wasn't too fond of him on virtue of he'd already been rude to her, but his slight glory-chasing made her like him even less.

"Your name and occupation?" Prosecutor Edgeworth prompted.

"I am but a humble bellboy, sir." That wasn't the answer he wanted but that was the only answer he was going to get it seemed.

"You work at the Gatewater Hotel, do you not?"

Phoenix nodded in surprise. "Edgeworth is doing a great job leading his witness."

"Can't I object to that?" Maya hissed to him.

"Not any more you can't. Used to be able to though." Phoenix did not elaborate.

"I do, sir! Fourth generation bellboy! I say that this scandal will drive traffic up, up, up!" The bellboy laughed, a sound like the ringing of bells.

"I see...and the night of the murder, the fifth, Miss April May ordered room service?" Prosecutor Edgeworth didn't bother straying from his intended questions. Maya got the feeling that he wouldn't let her get away with as much faffing about as he did earlier. She'd have to be careful when cross-examining this one.

"Indeed I was." The bellboy blushed a bit. "I remember it well."

"Your testimony then."

The bellboy nodded and shifted the tray on his hand. "Of course, sir. That night, at nine pm on the dot, I delivered to Miss May room service. She answered the door, of course, and paid for her drinks, then I went on my way. That is all I saw."

"That's...hm." Phoenix stared at the bellboy. "His testimony is pretty nothing."

"Press?" Maya whispered.

"That sounds good."

"Defense?" The judge prompted.

"Thank you, Your Honor." Maya took the transcript from the stenographer and looked it over before she started her cross-examination. "You say she ordered room service at nine on the dot? Are all your room service requests so specific?"

"It depends, really. Miss May's was very punctual but sometimes we are asked for by name, so it's not an wholly unusual request." He seemed nonplussed by her asking this.

"Hm." Maya read some more, trying to find the weak link. "April May ordered drinks, plural?" That seemed odd. "She said she ordered an iced coffee."

"There were two drinks, yes ma'am." The bellboy was surprisingly forthcoming. "Eighteen dollar total, really. Plus tip." He blushed at that.

"That's an expensive coffee," Maya frowned. "But could she have drank two iced coffees before they both melted? Especially if she had called the police over a murder?"

"Are you asking the witness this?" Prosecutor Edgeworth looked bored. Maya wanted to throw her phone at his head.

"Oh, uh, no. Sorry. Just thinking aloud. Although...," she had touched on something interesting, "did you go back to get their dishes?"

"That was handed by housekeeping, ma'am. I simply tend to customers' needs as they arise." The bellboy shook his head, blushing lightly.

Wait. "You said April May gave you a tip?"

"Yes she did. It was quite shocking, considering, but she gave me an embrasser as payment for services rendered." The bellboy was beet red.

Maya blinked at him in confusion. "A what?"

"That is French for 'embrace', is it not?" Prosecutor Edgeworth supplied.

"Yes it is, sir. A kiss, as it were, sir. On the cheek, no less. I shan't forget it for years, I think. It was an exhilarating experience, considering." Oh, he was just flustered because she was attractive to him. Hm.

"What a cheap tip." Even Phoenix was unimpressed.

"As the defense can see: while Miss April May might be guilty of wiretapping, it has no bearing on this murder case and her alibi remains rock solid." Prosecutor Edgeworth looked dead at Maya as if he was daring her to keep fighting. "Shall we end this farce and get to the resolution so we can all get home?"

"Not yet!" Maya let all of her carefully crafted professionalism slip away in the wake of the terror she felt at the thought of failing after getting so far. "The - the defense would like to ask the current witness one more thing!"

"Just one more," the judge warned, "and if nothing comes of it, I will come to my conclusion. Are we clear?"

"Of course, Your Honor!" Maya furiously tore through her transcripts. "Thank you."

"Tick tock, Miss Fey." Prosecutor Edgeworth had never looked more smug or more punchable than in this moment. "Pick your question carefully."

"The check-in." Phoenix gasped. "I don't remember if she had someone with her but we can figure it out if we ask about the check-in. Edgeworth likes to keep his witness testimonies controlled. If we ask anything out of what he was told to talk about, we might get something."

Maya nodded. "Mister bellboy—"

"No need for the formality, ma'am."

"Witness, then." She didn't have time for his quibbles. "When did April May check in to the Gatewater?"

If Prosecutor Edgeworth had any concerns about the relevancy of her question, he didn't raise an objection. Instead, the bellboy gave it some thought before responding, "Well she checked in some time before the incident, ma'am. It's not as if she had only been staying for a day or anything like that. Still, I wouldn't forget her any time soon. She's my type, you see, and it was such a disappointment after all."

Wait. "What was a disappointment?" Please let this be what she thinks it is.

"She checked in with her lover, ma'am." It was. Maya was so excited she could almost cry but the trial wasn't over.

"Objection!" Now the demon prosecutor had a problem? Too late.

"Objection overruled." The judge was as interested as Maya was in what the bellboy meant. "This seems to be a pertinent line of questioning. Witness!"

"Ah, uh, yes sir." The bellboy flushed again. "Rather, uh, what is it?"

"Why didn't you mention that she was sharing the room before?" Maya was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"You didn't ask, ma'am." The bellboy gestured towards Prosecutor Edgeworth with the tray. "The gentleman over there instructed me to not offer information unless I was asked so..."

"And yet..." Prosecutor Edgeworth was sweating bullets. It was nice to see him put on blast.

"It's not technically illegal to coach your witnesses like that. It's just...scummy." Phoenix frowned again. "I suppose since I told you to do something similar in questioning, I've got no leg to stand on."

Maya was finally ready to claw her way to victory. "Witness, the man who checked in with April May, did you see him when you brought up the coffee?"

"Objection! How is that relevant?"

"Objection! April May has an alibi for the murder  but she was wiretapping Fey & Co. Law Offices so she had access to sensitive information such as when my sister would be alone, waiting to hand off evidence for an upcoming case to my care. Evidence, I'll point out, that is missing as of right now." That wasn't relevant at the moment but she needed to say it aloud so there was record of her acknowledging it for later. "However, the man who checked in with her had access to the same information through her. If her alibi stands and he doesn't have one, it stands to reason that he must be the killer!"

"Objection sustained. Witness?" The judge watched the bellboy intently.

"I, uh...I don't believe I saw him, Your Honor."

The court exploded with noise as the gallery roared. Maya leaned back, hands on her hips, and smirked at Prosecutor Edgeworth. The man was leaning against his bench, eyebrow twitching as he grimaced.

"Order in the court! Order now!" The judge banged his gavel a few times and the chatter died down. "So you are suggesting that Miss May's so-called 'lover' could be the true killer of this trial?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Do you truly think one wayward lover is enough to acquit you of sororicide?" Prosecutor Edgeworth tried to recover ground but Maya was ready.

"Let's not forget that you are the one who coached the witness to hide the existence of this man. The act of concealing him makes him suspicious enough, never mind April May's illicit activities that night." She stared him down, unwilling to let him try and undo all her hard work. "I hold fast to my belief that, if he is not the true killer, this mysterious man has some ties to the crime and we cannot continue without finding and serving him."

The judge banged his gavel. "The defense raises a good point. While we cannot prove that this man is anything more than a red herring, the evidence brought before the court indicates he must have some relevance. We will reconvene court the following day after law enforcement and the prosecution look into this man." And, just like that, she had done it.

One more day and the possibility of getting the true culprit in court so they could prove her innocence. Now all they had to do was track him down and force him into court.

Victory has never tasted so bittersweet.

[massivelimestonecube]

i'd like to tell you about this hole in the ground.

[discussion of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse of children ahead. this is a long post, but a very important one; please bear with me for a few minutes of your time.]

before there was a hole in the ground, there were buildings here. the buildings looked like houses but they were not. they were unregulated psychiatric facilities where dozens of teenagers were held against their wills - against our wills - for months or years at a time. it's difficult to explain what it was like. in place of treatment, we spent 2 hours in "group therapy" a day, where a few people would be singled out and the rest of us had to attack them. we'd all be forced to, for instance, tell a child rape survivor why it was their fault, surround them physically, call them a slut in unison, led by adults who all participated enthusiastically. if we didn't we wouldn't earn enough "points" - all activities were graded - to be allowed to talk, or even be acknowledged by others, for at least a week. everyone was punished for everything, all the time, even for things that were not in any way bad, like wearing a ponytail without permission. almost everyone was completely broken by the brainwashing within months. there's no way to tell this story concisely. it's been a decade and the effects of complex PTSD have never left me.

at a different time than i was there, a teen girl was raped by a staff member. she reported what happened. instead of firing the staff member, they punished the victim instead. they confiscated her journals, containing evidence, and burned them. she was not the only one who experienced this kind of abuse, but when she got out she decided she would be the last. she got in contact with a lawyer, and by word of mouth, got dozens of us together to testify. only a few of us (myself, unfortunately, not included) were within the statute of limitations, but everyone's testimony is still on the record to corroborate what happened there.

the case has not yet gone to trial, but the story was released to the public in march. (you can read an article about it here; the full text of the lawsuit is linked at the bottom. please note that the lawsuit describes the abuse very graphically.)

four days later, i found out that one of their three facilities had closed. over the following months, they were all gone.

this hole in the ground is the facility i was at. it was once the Vista Adolescent Treatment Center in Magna, Utah. it is now just dirt, because a lot of people got together and decided there would be no more abuse.

vista got away with it for over 20 years. they abused thousands of children. they made a lot of money. finally survivors said no more, and presented a case so strong they were forced to cease their own operations - they didn't even wait to be shut down by the state. when i heard about the lawsuit, i was certain the only real outcome would be compensation for a very small set of victims, and a financial inconvenience for vista. i can't believe how much better it turned out.

i want to tell you this story for two reasons. one, if you weren't already aware of the troubled teen industry, you should spend a little time researching it. understand that vista is not in any way unique in the nature & scope of its abuse; in fact, a lot of us consider ourselves lucky that we were (for the most part) not beaten, like children are at so many other facilities that operate with impunity.

two, i want people who hear this to know that it is possible to stop these abusive systems. it's not easy, it's not always a success, and litigation & legislature are not the only means. learn where abuse, on any scale, is taking place in your communities. choose not to tolerate it. i was institutionalized for 18 months and i wondered every day why no one ever came to help me or did anything to stop it. i finally got my chance to help stop it from happening to others. i am not stopping with vista.

there is, thankfully, a lot more public understanding of what happens at these places now than there was when i was sent there. even my mom has apologized for what happened to me, now that she's read the lawsuit and had enough years to come to terms with making a mistake (of course, she was preyed upon and manipulated emotionally for financial gain, too). podcasts like Trapped in Treatment tell the stories of survivors directly. the local news here in Utah, the epicenter of the industry, is starting to pick up on what's happening. legislation offering some protection to children in these facilities is slowly being passed. still, very little has changed. facilities are almost never shut down, and regulation only touches the most egregious of human rights violations, never the little things that add up to massive trauma.

i am not asking you to march or donate to a nonprofit or call your senator or even read anything else on the subject beyond this post. i ask only that you refuse to allow abuse (in this form or any other) to take place. if you want it to stop you have to be the kind of person who is willing to stop it. it didn't sink in for me how immediately possible it was until i saw this photo.

thank you for reading. a better world is possible.

[arlothia]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thanks for the tag, @clonemedickix!

Were you named after anyone?

Yes - I share a first name with one of my I-don't-know-how-many-greats grandmother, and my middle name is the same as my mom's which is also her mom's first name.

When was the last time you cried?

About a month ago, there was a guy at church who was bearing his testimony, talking about his life and how he'd come to convert. He's a really extraordinary man and unfortunately he's had some tragedy in his life. When I got home and was recounting his story to my family the waterworks started.

Do you have kids?

No, not yet.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

What? Me? Of course now! I would never! 😏

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Aside from their appearance, I'd say their overall mood/attitude - do they seem rushed? Are they relaxed? Do they seem friendly or standoffish? etc...

What’s your eye color?

Green

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don't mind some jump scares, but I definitely prefer happy endings.

Any special talents?

I'm fairly musical and I'm a decent writer. I can change my voice around a lot - tone, accent, okay mimicry (more on that later 😉)

Where were you born?

Washington State - West Coast is the Best Coast!!

What are your hobbies?

Music and writing (if you couldn't guess from two questions up 😛), I also like watching shows, organizing things, and putzing around online.

Do you have any pets?

We've had quite a few over the years, but right now it's just chickens, though we're hoping to get some kittens soon!!!

What sports do/have you played?

I'm not really a sports person, but waaaaaay back in elementary school I liked to play kickball during recess.

How tall are you?

5'2" (@clonemedickix WE'RE TWINS!!!! Tiny but mighty! hahaha)

Favorite subject in school?

English and music

Dream job?

I really do love my current job (Library Page - I shelve and pull books and keep the library neat), but alas it's not perfect. I would love to be an author, but where my ultimate goal is set (aside from being a wife and mother) is being a voice actor and audiobook reader (see? told you we'd talk about this later 😉). I'm slowly (very, very slowly) but surely taking steps in that direction. I just gotta kick my butt into gear...

-

And true to form, this is where tag memes go to die, so if you see this and want to do it (whether we're mutuals or not), go right ahead! Tag! You're it! :P

[openapocalypse]

The gentle, tender flame of Universal Restoration was sheltered nurtured and cherished, against all odds. No dictatorial Roman or Byzantine tyrant and no superstitious cleric was able to conquer the Uncreated Light of Christian Universalism. Every living creature was born to love and light and joy and is destined to return to God Most High, no matter what their faults and sins they have been purged from. For "God is Light, and in God is no Darkness." The message of Universal Reconciliation delivered me from the threefold bandage of addiction, the Babylon Church, and Thelema Satanists attempting to groom me. I'd like to bear testimony to what my Mother and Father has done for me, and to encourage awareness that for those who have been hurt by the Babylon Church, by cults, by secret societies or anything else from the spiritual right, that there are humane, healing, compassionate alternatives available. I pray this channel will be a blessing for people of every faith & none.

[papirouge]

maybe it’s That Time of Year(tm) again but I keep having these talks with friends about dating or bringing home a guy that isn’t “exactly” Christian.

It’s a bit deceiving to say that Jewish guys and Muslim guys worship the same God differently when Jesus is actively denied His divinity. It’s said that none come before the father except through Him - the son. If you deny him in life, so he will deny you before the father in heaven. If they were interested in becoming Christian that’s one thing but I just feel bad for these girls asking if it’s alright to date these guys when we have the Bible telling us no right here. I also blame society for pushing this on girls to find a guy quickly “before time runs out” when I think it’s better to be single and enter into heaven than partnered and deny Christ together. I’m at this point to where some of then will show me a pic of this guy and I first think “yeah he’s hot!….But does he believe in Christ?”

I'm genuinely confused by the amont of anons I get of them having to deal with friends trying to hook with men of a different faith 🥴 Like, chosing a partner is no joke. Christians usually date with marriage in mind, so what's the point to date a man you're unable to project a long-term relationship with?

And yeah, this whole "all monotheistic have the same God uwu" kumbaya

Though it was true with Jews at some point but since they deny God as their Messiah, the god they worship today is not the same as us bc God can't deny Himself.

As for Muslims, my God DOES NOT allows polygamy, raping children, and beating your wife. Even if I wasn't Christian, Islam would be the last religion I'd pick bc of how messed up it is.

The "find a guy quickly" crap pushed by media doesn't translate in reality. Marriage of older people (in their 30s-40s) are usually longer lasting than those who married young. The reason religious people push for marrying early is because of child bearing. "Before time runs out" is ridiculous lol Time runs out for what? To date a bum who will let me emotionally scarred because I was not ready to pick the right partner yet??

Haven't you noticed people who converted to Christianity become more attractive? Their face is luminous, they emanate joy and happiness (that's particularly very visible with former Muslim testimonies). I want that with my spouse 🤍

[mathmusic8]

But If Not

I'd had a nagging thought recently as I've prayed for specific things to happen and added "but if it's not Thy will, please help us deal with it" at the end.

The most recent example of this was when my little toddler niece lost her precious purple hat at my parents’ house yesterday. We looked everywhere, including outside, and couldn't find it. While I was stepping through the brambly weeds in the hot afternoon sun, I silently prayed that we could find the hat—I know how important these things are to kids, and how much stress it can cause to parents, and my sister needs all the breaks she can get right now—but in my prayer I included that catch-all "but help us to deal with the fallout if not."

I wondered if including that phrase was an indication of a lack of faith that God would answer my prayer.

A few minutes later I admitted defeat and went back into my brother’s room to keep watching TV with him and the kids, but I looked around one more time, and there was the purple hat, crumpled up on the floor next to the bed. I said a little prayer of gratitude and my little niece was relieved to finally have her hat back.

Today I was reading "The Divine Gift of Forgiveness" by Neil L. Andersen, and in chapter 4 he quotes the Book of Mormon about the People of Ammon. These folks had been pretty wild and violent in the past, but when they were converted to the gospel, they decided that to keep from falling back into their old way of life, they wouldn't fight anyone ever again. Their neighbors were pretty upset with their new faith and highly likely to attack them, but the People of Ammon buried their swords so they wouldn't be tempted to use them, and after bearing testimony of God's grace, they said "if our brethren destroy us, behold, we shall go to our God and be saved."

That was not a lack of faith kind of statement.

Some of the People of Ammon did die in attacks, but the Lord helped the survivors get out of that situation and they found a new place to live. Many of their neighbors were so impressed by their convictions (and disturbed by their own actions) that they were converted to the gospel, too.

While I was re-reading that story, I was reminded of a bible study lesson I had in high school about the phrase "but if not" in the story about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego in Daniel 3. When these young men were about to be thrown into a fire for refusing to worship an idol, they said something along the lines of "we've been faithful, so God might save us (He definitely has the power to), but if not, we still won't break the commandments." When they were thrown into the fire, it was so hot that their executioners died, but the three young men were miraculously unharmed.

Esther had a similar line when she decided to slightly illegally go talk to the king to plead for the Jews. After telling Mordecai to ask people to fast and pray with her, she said she'd do her best, but “if I perish, I perish." In the end, she not only lived but was able to save her people, too.

There’s also Abinadi, another Book of Mormon hero who preached the gospel to the court of a very wicked king. When the king tried to interrupt him and have him executed, Abinadi was miraculously protected by the Lord. He said “Ye see that ye have not power to slay me, therefore I finish my message… and then it matters not whither I go, if it so be that I am saved.” He then prophesied that whatever would happen to him, the same would happen to the king, and he was right—Abinadi was executed a few days later, and in time, the king was similarly executed by his own people who’d finally come around to believe Abinadi’s words.

These four stories had various outcomes. Sometimes people were miraculously saved. Sometimes they weren't.

In my own (much less dramatic) life experiences, I've also seen a mixed response to my prayers.

But it was comforting to me today to realize that none of those “but if not” statements were made in a lack of faith—rather the opposite.

[foreverstormarchive]

Forever Storm Testimonies: Denise Sanchez

NAME: Denise Renouard Sanchez

AGE: 46

HOMETOWN: Sulphur, LA

TESTIMONY: "I was born in a beautiful house in Sulphur, Louisiana. It was a beautiful home. My father had painted it this bright, shining yellow when I was young. Over the door we had this lovely carved woodworking from when the house was constructed. In the front yard, we had a tall magnolia tree that bloomed with hundreds of white star-shaped flowers that smelled sweet and bright in the early summer. I lived in that house my entire life. I'd seen probably 10 or 12 hurricanes hit that building and never... ever once saw it in a state other than perfection. When Hurricane Grace started brewing, I didn't think much of it, you know, like a lot of people. A lot of people thought it was gonna drive closer to Houston, so I wasn't fretting or anything. But we were wrong. I was very wrong. I never seen something like Hurricane Grace. Never in my life.

I weathered out the storm for the first three days, and by day four it still hadn't decreased in intensity even a little bit. It hadn't moved at all. I didn't know what to do, you know? I was starting to worry about my home. Those winds were... I believe it was a category 4 by the time it hit us. We were lucky, Sulphur was just outside the really destructive bands. That's why I'm still alive, that's why I was able to get out in time. At the end of the first week of the hurricane, I was tired. I was psychologically... you know, emotionally tired. It's a lot to bear for that long of a time. You keep thinking at some point, you know, "Alright, it's been going for six days now. It's gonna dissolve soon. It's gonna pass." But it doesn't. That hits you hard.

I left my home on Day 12 of the hurricane. It wasn't easy. It took me near two weeks for my mother to convince me to leave. She was living with me, she kept saying, you know, "Denise, we gotta go. We gotta get out of here. This hurricane is staying, it's not getting better." I didn't believe her. But when we reached a week and a half of the storm, I couldn't take it anymore. We got in the car and we drove to the town center, and they'd sent in the military. The national guard, I think. They had established a road through the prairie out to evacuate the folks, cause the regular route was blocked off by something. I forget what. Oh, yes, it was a... a semi-truck. An eighteen wheeler flipped on the highway, I believe.

We fled the house I was born in, I was raised in. We're living in Alabama now. I miss it to this day. I miss it. I doubt it's still there, the windows had gone by the time we left. I'll bet you the storm took it. I bet it did. It weighs on me, it does. That was nine years ago, now. The storm never stopped. It never stopped."

Interview with Ms. Sanchez conducted in 2019 as a part of the Forever Storm Oral History Project, an initiative funded by Vanderbilt University.

[chriscdcase95]

I don't normally post these, but I often make character designs on Saints Row: The Third and IV, and thought I'd share one for a book I've been reading.

I have no model building software, and I am shit at drawing. What we have here is Death's mortal form from Final Destination: Looks Could Kill.

I was doing a readthrough for TV Tropes, but that's a whole other business all together.

In the Final Destination movies, Death of course has no physical manifestation, in Looks Could Kill, Death takes the form of an elderly black man in a gray suit, to make a deal with villain protagonist. Sherry Pulaski. This design is based off the description of this form taken from the book (to the best the games limitations can allow).

In Look's Could Kill, Sherry is another would be victim of Death's, but saved her friends from one of Death's disasters. All of them being models. While Sherry manages to save her friends from a boat sinking, she is horribly disfigured as a result.

After months in a coma and a failed suicide attempt, she is visited by Death in a human form, who makes her a deal; if she helps him collect the other survivors, he will restore her beauty and let her achieve her dreams of being a model. Preferably, if he claims them before one of Sherry's friends has their baby.

----

“What you see before you, bears as much relationship to my true nature, as that mask you wear does to your own image. If I shown myself in a truer aspect, your brain will boil in its skull. I could have just as easily manifested myself as a handsome movie actor or a pale young girl with too much eye make-up. No child, I chose this form so you would be more receptive to what I have to say.”

(...)

“Centuries ago - as mortal things reckon time - something like a god loved a mortal woman. His love for her was so great, he gifted her with second sight. But the woman scorned the god thing, so it turned what had once been a gift to a curse. Her vision was perverted so that she could see the future clearly, but was fated to never be believed by those who sought her counsel. The oracle was doomed to see her brothers slain, her sisters raped, and her city sacked, but was helpless to alter the course of events. She even foresaw her own enslavement and murder, but could do nothing to prevent them. Since that time, her tortured spirit has roamed the Earth, seeking a chance to speak of its anguish and disaster to those who might heed them. You were one such vessel, but tampering with fate is not without its hazards, as the scars that cover your face and arm are testimony too.”

(...)

“You have disrupted the schemata; the master plan by which all things are kept in balance on this plan of existence. Because of your meddling, there are numerous souls living past their predestined harvest. Such dissonance to the master plan threatens to throw all of creation off kilter. So it falls to me to correct the imbalance created by so many lives escaping my clutches. Repercussions could very soon be catastrophic, as these lives exist outside the schemata; interacting with people they never meant to meet; doing things they were never meant to do. So many loose threads creating even more loose threads. Soon they will jam the loom, and the very fabric of reality will begin to shear and tear.”

[queerstakezine]

Admissions Guidelines!

“I’d like to bear my testimony” is a pg-13, digital, non-profit, queer+religious zine about the experiences of LGBT+ Mormons, presided by Harvey (A trans/queer ex-mo) based on the theme of “That Sunday”, and whatever that means to the contributor. Alternately if a more specific theme is wanted, “Fast/Testimony Sunday”.

If this sounds like something you’d be into contributing to, Read More

Schedule and link to submittal form will be provided in another post! (Tumbr is weird about links)

NON-PROFIT! There will be no exchange of money here. By extension, this is a DIGITAL ZINE.

ANY TYPE OF SUBMISSION IS GOOD! -- poetry, essay, photography, memes, tweets, diary entries, art, writing, multimedia, comic, song, collages   Rants/vents etc -- You’re only restriction is it’s gotta be stationary (so no audio or video) and in digital format, anywhere between 1-4 PAGES.

Size will be scale-able to 6″ x 9″ for if anyone wanted to end up printing it themselves (I probably will haha), please allow for a .75″ bleed+gutter and 1″ bleed+gutter for the inside of the page (either the left or the right). @ 300 dpi. Landscape is OK! Just be aware if it were printed there would be the middle fold. CMYK is preferred but not necessary.

I’ll try to take as many submissions as I can, but 30 CONTRIBUTORS seems to be industry standard. If there’s more interest I’ll probably expand that number. You need to be older than 13 for legal reasons, and preferably older than 18.

You don’t have to be mormon, whether it be ex-Mormon, active, investigating, or questioning Mormonism, or lgbt+, but your submission is required to EXPRESS YOUR RELATIONSHIP OF IDENTITY TO MORMONISM AND QUEERNESS. Your entry doesn’t have to be English, but please provide with an (accurate) translation if you do.

For copyrights make sure you own the content of the work, NO FAN-ART! don’t want to get slapped with a lawsuit. I’m pretty sure there’s protection for critique/parody of certain content, so if you wanted to put an excerpt in from an official church document that should be okay.

Even though this is a pretty INFORMAL zine. I’m looking for people who will take the project seriously, give contact information which is checked regularly or who will check the this zine blog regularly for updates, who do their best not to procrastinate and are honest if they fall behind please. I deal with people like that at work and It’s not fun. I’m going to do my upmost to produce something that values the time and effort that the contributors put in, I ask that you as a contributor do the same.

Let the congregation know I’m NOT CENSORING/rejecting a lot of works that paint the mormon church in a negative light. If that bothers you, I ask you pass or BE POLITE OF OTHER PEOPLE’S WORKS (even if it does not sit well with your opinion of the Mormon faith), whether you like or dislike the church.

I want to include as many perspectives/experiences as possible here, that will include some things that are hard for active members and excommunicated/non-active members to view or read.

If you feel like your submittal is too heavy and you’d be comfortable flagging it, please send me a trigger warning with your submittal, which will be included in the final zine.

As this is a queer+religious zine, criticism, anger, mourning, and any stereo-typically negative emotion are going to be welcome and encouraged.

This will be a PG-13 zine! Nudity is permitted as long as it’s tasteful and non-sexual, if possible, please exclude genitals. Try to keep swearing minimal. No slurs. No racist or hateful speech. No gore/explicit violence. Use your head with this stuff please.Your project/submittal will be banned if you violate this. I also reserve the right to turn down your submittal for any reason not listed here, but I will try to let you know why if such an event happens.

[archersxartxblog]

Masters Post for Warden's Twins AU

so with what looks like a bunch of people seeming to like my little AU, I figured I should get off my butt and maybe make a master post for all this, with links to stuff, and other Ideas. I'm completely open to more Ideas and this AU is completely open for anyone to use, so long as you @ me or send me a link, I'd love to see what you made and I love to know if this inspired anyone. ^^ never made one of these so bear with me. will update as it goes. thanks to everyone who contributed.

basic concept:

Basically, while Akari is trying to complete the Pokedex and Calm the Nobles, Volo and Garitina rip open another space-time rift and end up dragging Ingo and Emmet as kids back into Hisui. the pearl clan finds them and just assumes the Warden's family comes to find him. the twins have no clue that they've time travelled, only that they are in a different region and they still have their starters.

neither side can prove or disprove the family they may or may not have. as Warden Ingo doesn't remember but he does feel a deep closeness with them he just doesn't know why. and the twins had never met their Father only told that he disappeared one day and they've been living with their uncle up until now. all and all the Warden takes them in.

Fic:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 chapter 10 Chapter 11 chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28,

Art, story points/asks, and endings are all under the cut

Art

first Post

the twins being found by the Pearl clan

Lady Sneasler meets the twins

Lady Irida fines out the twins know nothing about there father

Lian takes the twins to a cave in the obsidian fieldlands

Litwick evolves

two ten year-old identical twins prank an old lady

(Lil) Ingo's Hisui team

You are challenged by the Warden's Twins

Why would you say that

Ingo and Emmet miss their dad

Who's cursed

Twin battle

Ingo evolves into Parent

Young Ingo's sixth pokemon

You are challenged to battle

Pictures of the Warden and his Twins

When the warden's meeting could have been an Email

Sick

Gyarados

Stranger

asks and story points (sorry that these aren't in any kind of order. but feel free to click on any story points that catch your interest. or ask if you have something you'd like to add.) Is there ever a realization that he is his own dad

Irida realized the sadder implications

wonder what the twins feel about this

three car train

Nightmares

a lot of similarities between little and big Ingo, but what about their differences?

Do the twins still call Ingo dad once they realise that it's an Amnesiac Older Ingo?

Ingo would be so confused. He is sure he is not a father,

Emmet's team

I wonder what the people outside of the Pearl Clan think about the situation. also talk about Litwick

What happened to their real dad

After math

Young Emmet doesn't see through his brother's lies

Magikarp

Pet Goomy

The Twins don't talk about the time travel

Elesa's testimony fell on some deaf ears

Melli meeting the twins...the untold story

Mothering the twins

what happens to the letter, Akari finding out about the letter

the woman Ingo inversions

don't give kids sneasler venom for a curse

Litwick concerns

Emmet mentions Litwick dex entry

Akari is part of the twin's protection squad

Chandelure's control

Cyllene orders people to stop gossiping

Skyfallers take action

Basculin Akari comforts the twins

Possible Endings:

the split/Arceus's judgment

Twins remember and prepare

Consider Arceus sending Ingo and the twins home with their memories of Hisui intact as an apology.

-Bonus: link

Twins don't remember, Emmet to the rescue (or more chaos until everyone goes home ) - from secrettreestuffidk cause I never thought of this. but it's a fun/interesting possiblity.

ok but the wardens twins au. I'm imagining adult Emmet manages to make is way to Hisui,

Bonus: Link Link Link Elesa joins Emmet in Hisui Lil Ingo and Big Emmet

info about changes that are going to be made

Link to From Hisui to Unova Master Post (Now also part of this AU)