#I'll get to it but I'm going through it atm so like. idk

[no-one-hears-me]

why do my friends always leave me

[purpurussy]

.

[bibiana112]

I'm going to draw wktd fanart (to cope with a highly specific situation) while I still have the time for it (looming employment) and that is a promise to myself (I probably have something else I said I'd work on but whatever)

[piplupod]

last bit of paper mache finished off, teacher emailed while i was working on it :') aaaaa

[misskamelie]

Also, this week I got some easy books to practice sight-reading from my piano teacher, so hopefully I'll improve on that front in the next few months :)

[hoodedjelly]

Nicktoons unite main 4 in their respected styles ( minus jimmy neutron i'll explain more below)

i feel very mixed about these but it was still fun either way studying all of these cartoons respected styles. the final does make me happy, seeing all of them together ^__^ 💞

below i will explain my thought process working with each style so get ready for a wall of text:

first before anything you may be asking: why no jimmy neutron style!? it's because i tried and gave up! i was starting the rendering process for timmy and i hated it so i just didn't continue! no point of making myself miserable for something thats harmless fun style studies. but have these as a little treat:

Fairly Oddparents style: the easiest style to work on and research for, fop style is not that complex. i should also add i didn't draw each style in one sitting i drew each character together and then edited them all, so that might be the reason why some look better then others, i just got good. but i'm saying that because the character i started with was spongebob! specifically because i was tired of ppl thinking dp style and fop style are the same and how spongebob would look the same in both styles, just a flat square. which is wrong! fop style is very different! i would prob describe it as a flat paper style. has sharp and rounded thick lines. the main source of research i used for it was the designer for fop was Ernie Gilbert. he has designed a lot of iconic characters for the show and i highly would check out his work, this is his website

Danny phantom style: now this one was tricky, prob the hardest one to figure out and i honestly don't think i really DID figure it out. the possible reason is i am still trying to go through the show atm myself, but i'd doubt it. they all just look off to me, just a little. which no need for me to work myself in a circle trying to make it "perfect". im no professional character designer! especially not Stephen Silver.

Spongebob Squarepants style: this one was tricky but in the opposite way to dp style, where i didn't know what to reference! to start off the show is mainly nonhuman characters, so finding character refs were hard. the refs i did use were the mermaids and the superheros, so i used that for timmy. but in the middle of working on jimmys i was watching a video of someone ranking every single spongebob ep and TURNS OUT in the later seasons, i think season 13, there were human designs! (technically elfs but whatever).

and weirder thing is how they draw patchy but im not going to get into that. i am assuming that style is for characters that are supposed to be real life humans up on land in that universe (but why not just use real life humans? idk, maybe tom kenny is getting to old for the role). BUT ANYWAY, i used the elfs for a main source for jimmy and danny, they turned out a lot better then the timmy in my eyes. i wanted at least one of them to have the black eyes but they all have bright blue eyes and the show usually always colors blue eyes. i get ahead of myself cause there was a lot more factors i still had to figure out. like the line art. the show doesn't have a clear line style like dp or fop, its just relatively consistent medium lines. so i just went with more recent show stuff then older stuff since it's HD.

ok but thats basically it, i can prob go on more but i'd feel no one gaf. i made these for fun and it was fun making them! i love all of these shows a ton so it was nice looking up the designers and artist for these shows. support the artists!!! fuck bitch fartman!!!!!

[whitehotwild]

i've never done an anon before so i'm so sorry if it sounds weird 😭😭 but do you think billy and his younger s/o would go to like, those summer carnivals? like, the ones that are at night? idk if that's js in my hometown tho 😭 she most definitely dragged him there and he reluctantly went bc he loves her, but lwk he ends up enjoying it. idkkk i js feel like there isn't enough soft!billy content on here and you are my only supplier of it 🙏🙏

OUUUUUUUU OU OU OU you just scratched an itch... im so giddy about this. (also ily and i'll gladly be ur supplier)

we only have fall carnivals in my town which sucks bc summer carnivals sound so much more fun.

you like... heard from a friend that there's this one in NJ, you try to convince butcher to go with you. you tell him that it's only 2 hours by way of penn station (nightmare nightmare nightmare), that he doesn't have to drive you, that you'll buy the entry tickets.

"let's just go to coney island, yeah? i'm not goin' to bleedin' New Jersey for a night just because you wanna ride some roller coasters. you got a ride right here..." he smirks, thinking he's oh so clever.

all it does is make you whine and go limp in his hold, "but pleeeeeeease??? It'll be fun! you're such a fucking party pooper."

it doesn't ever take much to make him give into you, that's his one weakness, "i ain't no fuckin' 'party pooper'. you're just a pain in me arse."

"okay... so are we going or not?"

butcher sighs with an unimpressed look on his face, "fine."

and then like when you're actually at the carnival, you make good on your promise to buy the entry tickets (wristbands whatever), and butcher pays for the games/rides.

after half an hour, he's spent only about $20, "I ain't spendin' over 50 bucks, got it?"

at the moment, you're more worried about what you're gonna get from the food truck than anything coming out of his mouth, "mhm. yup, got it."

you beg him to get on one of the rides with you and he finally gives in after a while, but the second you get off the ride he's looking at you like he kinda wants to kill you... just a little bit.

"you're tryna give me a bloody heart attack. i ain't doing that again."

(i'll die on the hill that butcher hates roller coasters just because i think it would be very funny.)

$100 and two hours later, butcher's finally cutting you off after winning you one of those big teddy bears from one of the game booths.

(yes, he knows he said $50. yes, he knows he's wrapped around your little finger)

"you happy, pet?" he asks you once you both settle on the train back to the city. there's no snark in his voice like you'd expect, just genuinely wanting to know that you had a good night.

you nod against his shoulder, your legs propped up in the empty seat in front of you, "yeah, i'm happy. you happy?"

butcher looks down at you, the way your head rests against him, the way your arm is snaked through his. he allows himself, just for a moment, to believe that he does deserve this... that he does deserve you and the joy you bring back to him.

"i suppose so. you like your bear?" he nudges you gently, motioning to where you sat the big stuffed bear in the seat in front of him.

"mhm... gonna name it 'billy jr.'" you tease with a tired smile, you're halfway to falling asleep and the train's barely left the station.

billy (sr.) huffs, unimpressed, but there's a small smile on his face, he untangles his arm from yours and wraps it around your shoulders, covering your eyes with his hand as he pulls you a bit closer into his side.

"ah, fuck off... you're delirious, go to sleep."

୨ ♡ ୧

just wanna say sorry that im not getting to requests as quick as i'd like! got a lot of shit happening atm BUT im on vacay atm so hopefully i can pump some out this week! LOVE YOU BYEEEE!

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hi, idk if you write this kind of thing but would you mind writing something with either carmy berzatto or frank castle and a recovering addict! gf?

she relapses and he's angry but he loves her so he's gentle. he doesn't know what to do.

i’m not doing so well atm and i’m really struggling to stay clean, your writing and just fics in general really help take me out of my own head.

There's Always Tomorrow.

Frank knows you better than you know yourself. It's a blessing and a curse.

Author's Note - hi sweet anon. i'm sorry to hear you're not doing so well at the moment. i lost a good friend of mine to addiction, and i know how hard it can be. just know that you're never alone - there's always someone you can talk to. you're doing amazing, and I'm wishing you all the best. you've got this.

i got this request and knew i had to write it, as it's something very close to my heart. i've tried to handle it as sensitively as possible, without going into too much explicit detail. i've included some resources at the bottom of this post such as websites and hotlines if you feel like you need some support. so much love to anyone who's struggling. i see you, and i admire you. you're always stronger than you think x

Pairing - Frank Castle x Recovering Addict Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - addiction. mentions of relapse. talk of sobriety and being clean. cursing. please do not read if this will be triggering to you in any way.

Word Count - 1.7k

Masterlist. Requests.

Frank knows something is wrong the minute he walks through the door.

Usually, he yells honey, I'm home! and is greeted by you jumping into his arms, covering his face in kisses.

Today, you're nowhere to be found.

He's storming through your house, yelling your name at the top of his lungs. A thousand scenarios are running through his head, all of them horrifically tragic. He's terrified.

He gets to the closed bathroom door and yells your name again.

"Sweetheart, you in there?"

You don't reply, but he hears you sniffle.

"Shit, baby, are you cryin'? Open the door. Whatever it is, I'll fix it, okay?"

"You can't," you sob. "Not this time."

Frank has never heard you this upset, and he's starting to panic.

"Open the door, honey. Please. Just open the door and we'll work somethin' out."

"You don't want me to," you cry. "You're going to hate me."

"Hate you? I could never hate you. I love you, you know that. Open the door. Please."

You sniffle again, but make no attempt to move.

"Alright. I'm about to break it down. Move back, so I can kick it in."

"Don't you dare," you threaten. "This door was expensive."

"Then open it."

You're not sure if it's his words, or the way he sounds exhausted, but you decide to give him some respite. You stand up and turn the lock, before slumping back down into your spot on the floor.

Frank takes a good look at you, and his heart shatters.

Your cheeks are tracked with mascara stained tears. You're wearing nothing but a tank top and some underwear. Your hair looks like you've been running your fingers through it repeatedly. Your lips are bitten and raw. You look tired.

"Baby," he whispers. "What happened? Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you lie.

"You're not fine. You're clearly not fuckin' fine. We don't lie to each other, do we?"

When you don't answer, he grabs your chin to look at him where he's standing.

"Do we?"

"No," you mutter, shaking your head. "We don't lie to each other."

"That's right," he says, moving to kneel in front of you. "Now please, honey. What happened?"

Silence. More sniffles.

"If I tell you, you're going to hate me. You're going to leave me and you're going to hate me."

"I don't think there's anythin' in the world that could make me hate you," he reassures.

Frank looks at you intently, proving you have his full attention. He cups your cheek gently, and waits for you to tell him the truth. Eventually, you speak.

"I relapsed," you whisper.

Frank's whole body goes rigid, and he freezes. He's still looking at you, but it's different now.

"Frank," you say gently. "Did you hear me?"

"I heard you."

Your blood runs cold. He sounds... distant. Detached. He sounds angry.

"Please don't hate me. I told you you'd hate me. God, I knew this would happen."

There are fresh, warm tears streaming down your face, dripping onto your shirt. Frank still remains stoic, removing his hand from your cheek.

"I don't hate you," he says eventually. "But I need you to give me a minute."

With that, he rises to his feet and leaves. You're left on the bathroom floor, sobbing and alone.

 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 

Frank sits on the edge of your bed, trying his best to take deep breaths.

Your addiction isn't a secret. You've talked about it time and time again, telling Frank all of the details that you swore to yourself you'd never tell anyone. You met him, and felt instantly safe. He's the perfect confidant - he listens, he understands. He's compassionate, he's gentle, he's empathetic. You've opened up again and again, and Frank has never judged you once. It's one of the reasons you fell so hard for him.

You've been clean since you met him. A naive part of him hoped that he'd never have to see you otherwise. He knows that sobriety is a journey, he knows that it isn't linear. But he hasn't been through it. There's only so much he really understands. He tries, though. God, he tries.

He's sitting in your shared bedroom, wondering why he left you in the bathroom by yourself. Is it because he can't bear to see you upset? Is it because he can't handle it like he thought he could?

He realises, suddenly, that it's because he simply doesn't know what to do. He's never been in this situation before, and he doesn't know which course of action to take. Does he sit and cry with you? Does he yell at you to never do it again? Does he tell you he still loves you, no matter what? He decides, unsure, to try a mix of all three.

Frank strides back into the bathroom and sees you still in the spot he left you. You're still crying, and it lodges a lump in his throat. He fights back his own tears, and sits down next to you, pulling you into his arms.

"Hey, hey. You're okay. We're okay. It's all okay."

"It's not okay, Frank," you sob. "I'm so mad."

"At me? I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have stormed out like that. I just panicked and -"

"No, no. At myself."

Frank soothingly strokes your hair, rocking you gently. You relax into his hold, tears subsiding slightly.

"I've worked so hard on being clean. It's a choice, every single day. Why did I choose wrong today? I've ruined everything. I've fucked up all of my hard work, all of my progress."

"You know," he begins. "There's no end goal here. It's a constant journey. And on any journey, there's gonna be ups and downs."

You try to protest, but he cuts you off.

"One bad day doesn't determine the rest of the week. Or the rest of the month. Or the year. Okay?"

You nod your head, and he kisses your temple.

"There's always tomorrow, baby. There's always tomorrow. We can start again. Today doesn't undo everything. It just changes your course a little."

"Frank Castle. A poet. Who knew?" you tease. He laughs, and the vibrations buzz through you both.

"Only for you, honey."

You both sit on the floor for what feels like hours, content to just hold each other. Frank is wondering what caused the events of the day, what made you feel like you had no other option, where you even got a hold of everything. But he doesn't ask. He knows you'll talk about it tomorrow. Instead, he wraps his arms around you tighter, and tries to match his racing heart to the beat of yours.

"Promise me that if you feel like this again, you'll tell me. I don't care where I am, or what I'm doin'. We're in this together."

"I promise," you whisper.

"There's always tomorrow, honey," he murmurs into your hair.

"There's always tomorrow," you echo.

He's right. There's always tomorrow.

Al-Anon / Ala-Teen Hotline - 800-356-9996

SAMHSA Hotline - 1-800-662-4357

DrugFree Hotline - 855-378-4373

Alcoholics Anonymous (UK) - +44-800-9177-650

DAN 24/7 (England&Wales) - +44-808-8082-234

Narcotics Anonymous (UK) - +44-300-999-1212

MIND Website (lots of useful UK resources here)

SAMHSA Website (USA)

these are just a select few. there are hundreds, if not thousands, of websites, hotlines and places to turn for support if you're struggling. asking for help might be the hardest thing you'll ever do. but it's so worth it. promise x

[strawby15]

Lana (Dress to impress) Theories I put together

(I pinned this bc I might add more. And correct myself)

So I have translated some of the words in Lana's group and Öga role means eyes. Evighet means eternity. And Kråka means arm. This might be the limbs/parts lana has taken. For the eternity part I don't know.

In the other lana group called plague there is a user ibogenschutze and it says that he took their heart out while it was beating. Who is he? But it's weird that they are only a patron on the main group. Maybe Lana's sacrifice.

on the plague group The Role Fjärii (the owner role) means Butterfly. I have no idea what that has to do with the lore lol

Now with the people in the Evighet role there is: snowyxmistyy, Vinny, BAZINGAA, Rose, autumn, and blu3.

Snowyxmistyy's profile has nothing. Vinny's profile basically says he is trying to find out about Lana and why she executed him and the others. BAZINGAA's profile just says to join roses group, roses profile says join her group, autumns profile just says bababa and Blu3 says she has officially died in the Lana lore.

Now I don't know why they are in the eternity rule (evighet) but probably they are stuck in Lana's world. They will probably get more lore soon (probably not idk)

Öga role (means eye) are verified people. Owen, callmehhaley, Gigi, Twoket9. Nothing special about this role but I think they might be important in the future. Like since Lana has an eye patch she might take their eyes? Idk.

Btw the reason why I'm not covering the horizon role rn is bc I would have to go through 333 people. I will probably update this post and add it in the future.

The traitor role are the people who "betrayed" lana/called her out on what she has done. Nelly, Micheal, Rafael, sunny, and Nathan. If you want to know more watch Lana lore or the questionare videos where they got executed or smth

rankers are just the people who rank? Nothing special right now atm.

for the missing people Alexei is new (I think??) His profile is just asking what happened while he was gone. I think he will be important. My guess is that he really isn't missing or dead and that he just lost his memory and came back? There is Jisoo. Her profile is saying the world is crumbling around her and she says she's in a nightmare. Jayla says she trusted Lana but then she got sacrificed. By the way all the missing people except Alexei have the same outfit and remember when I mentioned ibogenschutze? Yeah they have the same outfit two. Probably a friend of theirs. Nicholas has some code you need a translator for. Uhh idk what translator you need :( but it's just like Sadie's. And I think it's new? Next is Sadie. Apparently in one of the questionnaire things she came back and talked about her. Then her tombstone is gone and I think is near lanas house? Yeah so not really anything new except for Alexei and the Nicholas about me thing. And Sadie's profile was uncoded. Check a Lana lore video and you'll see what it says.

next the herd. This is what I love the most bc I have some theories >:] so they are all Lana's disciples like they worship Lana and will do anything. Uhh yeah I'm not totally sure on that but let's check the profiles!!! Apart of the herd there used to be Nelly and rafael but they are now traitors. Anyways. Kayden. Dating jasmine and he's probably saying Lana is a dictator. Not jasmine? Maybe jasmine idk. Audrey's makes no sense. Uhh but saying it's not preppy in there makes sense because she doesn't like it? Idk she'll be important in the future I think. Then jasmine. Her profile says "Of course, people change, however, sometimes you're forced to resent such changes... and you know who I mean...I'll let it go for now. I'll stay." She thinks Lana is changing and she thinks that Lana will babe to resent the changes. But jasmine will stay and let go of it. She'll definitely be important. Oh it also says she loves kayden. So they deff dating.

Next kråka.which means arm. It's dierben. In the Lana lore video they say something about them I don't remember I'll update it once I watch it again. Diarben is the lead dti dev but they're a big part of the story.

Next. Agamemnon.i don't know anything about them yet but they'll be important I think. They are the owner of the plague thing. My theory is: is that Agamemnon made this plague to control Lana and it is changing her and he has big plans.

Phew and finally duva. Lana. Duva means should. I dunno what that means but yup the plague owner role meaning butterfly also doesn't make sense.

✨ this part I'm not sure on ✨ so Lana is on vacation right? Maybe it's the evil lana. Because on the Lana theory group (THIS MIGHT BE FAKE) Lana joined a server and gave everyone vip. Maybe it's the actual Lana trying to be nice while the evil Lana is on vacation.

Also I feel like something bad will happen on vacation like someone from the herd will be gone or go missing.

Okay now onto the plague group <3 the shout says "I promise I haven't forgotten about you all" I think this means she'll do something to us. She wants to give revenge on people who have her the plague? My other theory Is that she made a plague to take down the people she is wanting revenge one. One of the two now let's go into the roles!

Btw the other group saudade means longing maybe that has something to do with the eternity role. Idk

so first there's the cocoon role. Maybe this is like s figure of speech like the owner role being butterfly. When we go through the portal we will be at the final stage. Or maybe we arent ready yet.

The Herd. Basically the same except. Remember Alatheia? (ibogenschutze) they are in there. This is not an accident (I think) the about me says "HE RIPPED ME APART WHILE MY HEART WAS STILL BEATING" I think after lanas vacation we will find out who "he" is. Idk if diarben is a girl or boy but I'm thinking boy? So it might be diarben or kayden or maybe one of the missing boys? They will definitely be important. And the user (ibogenschutze) means archers and they are friends with... NELLY???? Idk if we know who this is but it might be Nelly but dead. Because she got executed I think? Idk maybe she's still alive because they did kill lana but it might've been a fake distraction. Now with the herd I will be talking about their users. What I mean is there @ (like example @ibogenschutze) jasmine is Appleintheforest. Now I don't know what this means but in the plague theres a role named Apple and it's lana so those might be connected? Like Lana's biggest supporter. Audrey is Oonaslays. Uh like with the first part this has to do with nothing but it's an old account from 2017 unlike jasmine but kayden's is from 2018. Idk what this means. Kayden's is freshfalls. These users (excluding Audrey) just might be about nature? Idk that's all I got from this.

League is the missing people. Possibly the couple of people they tested the plague on? Or they are the people who started the plague and then got hurt by it. Oh and by the way I think jisoo's bio means that when she opened Lana's third eye she See's nothing but darkness? Idk. Anyways to the users. Nicholas is Applebitten2. Which is like he bit into an apple. Which connects with jasmines. Like shes still an apple in the forest and Nicholas bit into the Apple and found out what happened. And his following is just lana. So another disciple? Now jisoo it's Mickeyiee I put it in the translator but it showed up with nothing. So kinda like audreys not important. Next Jayla is whisperingat now she might be whispering to people for help? (Btw jisoo and Jayla are not following anybody) Sadie is ihaveflowered. Maybe since she went missing and spoke out she is a new person. Not much about that since there's not much information. She is also following lana.

The next role is apple. Which is just lana.

Last role. Fjäril means butterfly. Possibly the last stage.

Also I went into the questionnaire game and there is a note that says "I'll be back to avenge you. Blessing from Agamemnon" I think this is the lana that they both killed. And I said before Agamemnon will be important. I think he is going to try and Resurrect evil lana? Idk.

I will be going through all the games to see if there's anything new. The only new thing about the questionnaire is the note and that sadies tombstone is ggone

Ok so I just went to the fortress. Jasmine is Obsessed with being always in Lana's eyes. She IS a disciple. A worshipper even. She has notes on a board that say "Micheal. Reason: has a disliking of me. And is a threat to me... Taking away attention from me from Lana's eyes." Next "Sunny. Reason: I just don't like her. I think the coterie will benefit from her being gone" finally "Rafael. Reason: I have suspicion of him betraying lana, spreading rumors that muddle Lana's reputation." The other notes (her diary and the note on jasmines bed) are to hard to read so I'm watching a video about it.

I found out that lana is not actually dead. Nelly's old bio was saying she thought lana died. But now she's somewhere else. Her new bio says "I don't want to be here anymore... I should have just never done what I did.." I think she is referring to that she's in the symphony of nox? Because the people who wronged the awakening in there. I think nice lana is in there? It's not wringing the awakening but lana could've put them in there. While watching callmehhaley's video I see that one of the badges says that the person is the sheep following the butterfly. And on the plague group Agamemnon is the butterfly. I think Agamemnon is the mastermind unless this is another distraction.

I'm going to watch all of callmehhaley's videos so ill update later <3 strawbs out

Alexei was apart of the corterie. Idk why he's in missing now and has an new fit.

Ok so sunny got wrongfully executed and so did Micheal. It's all because of jasmine. She had the board and that means jasmine is behind all of it.

With the portal. Lana killed all of the four people to activate the portal. To avenge the person (lover? Idk) but it didn't work. She tried sacrificing more to activate it again but they ended up killing her so I think she was the key to the portal and it opened.

So Agamemnon's room (theone with the note saying he'll kill lana when he's done. It says the devs eyes will be in good use. Well I know Gigi and Haley aren't devs but they are under the role that's translates to eye. Agamemnon is going to use their eyes

Ok so now I know who alexei is. He was like a herd member but didn't talk much? So now the monster killed him. Also I might not update this for a while lol if u wanna know more look at callmehhaley's vids <3

[oh-my-may]

I'm still alive omg!

Lots of irl things happening atm, BUT I managed to play through Penacony 2.2 (stretched over 3 days, no less)

Woah. Just ... woah. So much happening, so many characters interacting, so much lore, IT WAS GOING ON FOREVER but I loved it nonetheless. Of course they had to make the finale of Penacony long and epic.

FIRST OF ALL I KNEW IT! I TOLD Y'ALL!!! Literally in my post about 2.1 I talked about how Misha definitely has some close connection to Mikhail/the Watchmaker. I suspected him to be a child of his or something but the actual thing was close enough, I guess. My sweet boy. I love him. Mikhail being a Nameless was so cool. I'm really glad we're finally getting more lore and info about Akivili and previous Nameless, but I feel this was only the beginning.

I'm still madly in love with Sunday and Acheron. Robin is such a cutie too. I'm not gonna pull for her because I need my savings for Mr. Boothill and then Jade but I'll try and pull for her on a rerun. Sway to My Beat in Cosmos is such a banger. Caught myself constantly singing "riiise into my wooorld" (ofc much worse than the one and only lol)

On the topic of Boothill... my god. Love him. The way they can't make him swear so they just make him say??? Whatever??? Whose idea was that 💀 mother loving instead of mother fucking?? What the fork?? Wubbaboo?? I would die for this man. He looks so hot too. Again I have to say that HSR never misses with male character design. THEY'RE ALL SO PRETTY.

On the topic of pretty men... SUNDAY. My little radicalized bird man. I cackled when Sparkle called him chicken boy. She's just a hater, love her for that. Serious question... is he straight up dead now? I have only played the main quest so far so in case it'a mentioned somewhere in game don't spoil me but if it's not... tell me will I get to see him as a playable character... pls...

The whole thing with Ena the Order was so interesting to see. The fact that they made Order so similar to Harmony... AEON LORE. Love it. Resurrecting an Aeon is possible, you say? Kind of? The way they make Sunday'a motives understandable... he's just a boy

So I had the feeling that facing the boss Dominicus was a bit too easy the first time around. Wdym he has only one phase. I should have known there was more to it. Nevertheless loved to see IL and Jing Yuan cameo. They slayed (literally)

But then the eerie feeling I got when Black Swan talked to us on the Express... the way she makes us question everything that happened... GENIUS. I did kind of get flashbacks to Sumeru act II. The line between dream and reality, who is dreaming, what happens outside of the dream, the repetition of events... not critiquing or hating, but the concepts were just similar to me and I liked it :) Penacony just put a different twist to it.

The final fight was still very cool. The several toughness bars to break is really interesting, and the fact that you get a shield value the more bars you break. Also the Astral Ecpress literally crashing into Sunday??? I barely realized what I had just watched ghe first time around. Idk why, but the concept is hilarious to me. And the question remains... is Sunday dead now??? What about Robin?? Are they both dead??

Aventurine isn't dead either?? What about the present that Sparkle gave out to several people? What was it and what did it do? Is there smth I don't remember about that rn? Did I miss it? Also if Robin didn't actually die, how come we saw her body? If she just got transported to Dreamflux Reef, then there wouldn't have been a body, right? ALSO is Firefly dead too? She didn't make an appearance throughout the second part after we see her leave and she talked abput the way that the script said she would die 3 times in Penacony... I'm so eternally confused. It's part of the reason I think there's still gonna be more in the next patch... They're not gonna give us playable Firefly without at least a Story Quest for her, right? And Jade, too? She had one appearance in a throwback during the story, the Trailblazer hasn't interacted with her in person yet so the IPC probably hasn't finished their business with Penacony yet?

And since I mentioned Trailblazer... HARMONY MC??? LOOKS SO GOOD? LOVE THE MOVES?? THE HAT? The Significance of it had me 😭😭 my MC obsession ks back y'all. He looks so good. Caelus ily. The silly little dance with Clockie 😭 Can't wait to build him, I heard Harmony MC is really good.

I also briefly have to mention my girl Acheron. So they've literally just casually confirmed that she's Raiden Mai? I actually don't know what Bosenmori means or it's significance BUT RAIDEN MEI. And her whole flashback with Tiernan... I had my suspicions about his identity but the reveal was interesting, anyway. I've got the feeling this is not the last we've seen of Acheron. I never played HI3rd far enough to fully understand Raiden Mei's story, but I'm really intrigued with the whole thing. How come her and Welt exist in noth universes, how did they end up in HSR and what's their motive?

One thing I'm also still hung up on is the Annihilation Gang... no more mention of them? We don't get any real eyplanation as to why Acheron killed Duke Inferno? No little animation of the scene? I'm guessing it's gonna play a role later? The reason they talked about it is probably to tell us that Acheron was dangerous but like... idk what to think of it. No question the other members of the Gang are gonna appear later and maybe then we'll get more background? But if they don't play a large role in Penacony, why introduce them to the players prior to it in such a grand way?

Anyway, I judt have lots of questions still but no doubt the game is gonna answer them when the time is right... I had a really good time playing the quest, went through a whole lot of emotions during it, fell in love with even mlre characters... the new maps are GIGANTIC and look so cool and let me just say rhe music was so so epic too. Can't wait for the OST for this to get released.

I also wanna mention here (outside of discusaions about the story) is that having a fully leveled Acheron with pretty decent relics paired with a tank Aventurine feels like playing the game on easy mode. Nothing can penetrate a fully def stacked Aventurine, and Acheron's damage is straight up insane. Gonna take a while before I get tired of using them. They helped me clear basically all Stage V of every SU World I hadn't done yet... legends.

Now we wait for Boothill... The grip that Hunt characters have on me is unbelievable. Meta wise I know I should invest in Harmony characters... Ruan Mei or Robin but... HAVE YOU SEEN BOOTHILL? HAVE YOU???

Alright, that's it for now. Really excited to dive into exploration and events and quests of the new maps. Might post a little about it.. or maybe not. I still have to tell you about my thoughts on the Arlecchino quest and Remuria exploration, I began a post about that and never got around to finishing it.

As always, have some cool screenshots from the story!

[softxsuki]

Hi I have an urgent request if you don’t mind.

Could I request head cannons for Baji with a reader who self harms but in a more violent way. Like she’s already really skilled at fighting but to train she goes out and kicks and punches trees sometimes to the point of breaking her bones. And sometimes if she’s just having a rough day she will go out and hit the trees to let off steam. In addition to all of this she also has large scars on her shins, feet, and knuckles and sometimes the scars will open up when she fights. I hurt lol 🥲

Baji with Reader Who Punches Trees After A Bad Day

Pairing: Baji x Fem!Reader (though I think it could be read as Gn?)

Warnings: Mentions of blood, form of self harm (punching trees), re-opened wounds, crying

Genre: Hurt Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 610

Summary: In which Baji comes over one day and finds you hitting the trees in your yard

[A/N: So very sorry for the wait. It's been a rough few weeks for me. I'm also sorry that this isn't my best work. I honestly couldn't think of much and I'm having the same problem with my other two urgent requests atm. I'll need a little while to get back into a writing rhythm. or just continue to force myself to write until it gets better. I hope this at least provides you with a tiny bit of comfort. Hope you're doing okay <3] (excuse the horrendous title. Idk what to name this 😅)

Baji:

It was just like any other day for Baji; sneaking over to your place, and hopping the fence into your background like he usually did when your parents weren’t home, since you always left the back door unlocked

But he didn’t expect to hear grunts and the sound of something being hit

So when he jumps over the fence and sees you beating this tree down--he’s stunned

Sirens ring in his head though as soon as he sees the blood dripping from your knuckles, along with your pants soaked in the red liquid as well

“Oi, knock it off,” he yells, running towards you and stopping you from assaulting the tree any further

Though he could care less about the tree and more about you hurting yourself

His heart breaks though when you cry out in frustration, tears running down your face

Every punch and kick felt better than living in your own emotions, you wanted to feel anything other than what you felt deep down inside, so the stinging of your knuckles and throbbing in your leg was welcomed

He had to hold you down for a little until you felt better

“At least punch me! Get it out of your system,” he screams at you, finally letting you go, but his words make you pause

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Exactly, I don’t want you to be hurt either, so please just settle down, let's talk it out.”

And so you did

You sat side by side in your yard just crying and letting out all your pent up emotions and Baji listened to every word, glancing down at your bleeding wounds every now and then

After getting everything off your chest you both  sat in silence. It was now dark out, the stars were shining and the moon illuminated off you both. A chill in the air ran over you, making you feel truly alive as the goosebumps raised on your skin

“I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. Emotions suck sometimes, trust me, I would know. I’m not exactly known for acting properly whenever I feel them either, but let’s try and cope through them better…together. Okay? I hate to see you like this,” he address your bloody appearance

You take his words in. It never felt to great the next few days as your wounds were healing, and sometimes you’d regret going overboard on your attacks, knowing you’d have to deal with the pain for days to come, so you agree–you’d at least try

Satisfied with your answer, Baji suggests for you both to head inside so you can clean up

He waits for you in your room as you shower and change clothes, then he gets to work in treating your wounds, along with your leg wound that had opened up again, proof that this wasn’t your first time doing something like this

He bites his tongue though, he doesn’t want to lecture you or annoy you in any way, so he just continues to take care of you

Next time you try something like this though, he’s just fully throwing himself in between you and whatever you’re hitting

Hitting him would definitely do you less damage, and he was willing to be your punching bag if you needed it

Probably schedules those destroy rooms for you, or invites you to his place so you can punch his punching bag with the proper protection so you don’t hurt yourself, but you’ll still be able to blow off some steam

He has moments of rage and definitely can come up with safer ways for you to express those pent up emotions, so give those a chance

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/2/2023

[shazzbaa]

[sighs tiredly]

WELL.... obviously im not thrilled about the AI deal tumblrs involved in, or the fact that you have to opt-out manually rather than existing accounts being automatically opted out.

I understand the idea of leaving/deleting in protest, sending the message that this kind of behaviour will discourage people from putting content on your site. And I respect that, I don't think it's necessarily misguided. Here's my cohost, for people who'd like to find me elsewhere! At the same time, protest seems like really the only reason to do that -- like, I don't think doing so preserves your stuff. My art is likely in the machine already, not because automattic made a deal with midjourney, but because my tumblr posts come up on google image searches -- they are not hard to snag. AI companies have already pulled content that was freely accessible and put it into their machines without asking; that's like 80% of my problem with AI art in the first place!

So, like, if I go "I'm moving to my own site" or "I'm only posting on cohost from now on!!" then is my data or my work any safer, beyond security through obscurity? It's wrong to use my work without consent, but practically, I'm not gonna be able to track down every generative model that uses my data to train without asking. As much as "we're making a deal to give your data to an AI model" sucks, especially when it's done so sloppily..... a situation where there's an explicit contract in place where the AI company (theoretically) has to get your agreement to use your data IS... WEIRDLY, a tiny step closer to what I want to happen???? Like it's not... GOOD..... but I dunno if it's actually Worse Than It Was Before? IDK....... just turning it around in my brain while I try to decide and I can't make a strong case for packing it up atm

I'm not a professional artist rn, I'm just here for fun, and I've opted out all my blogs, so for now I'll probably stick around and just keep an eye on everything and see how things go. BUT YEAH, if you're skeedaddling and want somewhere else to follow me, my cohost is shazzbaa and I have a carrd over here that I try to keep updated, so feel free to find me there too!!

[jjs-brainrot]

Various work related frustrations and anxieties the last couple of weeks have been kicking my ass and have been making me over-analyze myself way too much. Lot of the usual self doubt stuff, but mostly been thinking about how I feel about sex and romance (and also gender but I'm not in any kind of position to work through that one atm). I'm terrible at bottling stuff up so figured it'd be better to write shit down while I've got something of a clear head.

I'm aroace, aegosexual if you want to get more specific. The short explanation is that I still have something of a sex drive but next to no interest in pursuing sex. There's more complicated stuff to it like needing a degree of separation (i.e. some kind of 4th wall) between myself and whatever my current sexual interest is to get off but that's the basic gist of it. I still masturbate regularly at least once a night and I've definitely developed a large collection of fetishes/kinks over the years. I wouldn't go out of my way to seek out sex since I can take care of all of my needs myself. With that being said, I think if someone I was already comfortable being around sought it out from me, I'd be willing to give it a go. Though it would probably have to remain a purely physical/friends-with-benefit type relationship as my feelings toward romance are complicated.

As stated above I'm also aromantic. I don't feel any romantic attraction at all. I can still feel platonic and familial love but romantic love is a no go. I can enjoy it from afar in media and shipping characters and stuff but anything to do with me just completely blanks. I'm sure it's more complicated but having my parents divorce when I was young combined with an extended family that also has a low success rate with partners and the isolation that comes with living rural probably did a number on how I felt towards relationships. Any kind of romantic relationship with me would probably be one-sided or at least heavily imbalanced and would either crumble into disappointment or keep going far past the point of when it really should have stopped before everyone involved got hurt trying to make it work.

I've also been feeling extra Not A Person the last week or so. Admittedly that's something I've been dealing with for awhile since I've always kind of felt like I don't have much value unless I'm being useful to others. I get that, that's not correct and all but it still pops back up in my mind frequently. Also feel like I'm terrible at keeping any kind of boundaries. Like I'll see other people setting up healthy boundaries for themselves and I'll be over here writing vague squiggles on the ground that I won't enforce and even apologize for making if you step over them.

idk how to end this post so yeah.

[haleigh-sloth]

Hi, I hope you're doing well.

Do you have any new series that you're hoping to start after mha ends?

HI! I am doing good thank you for the well wishes.

And YES!

I'm really looking forward to catching up on some I've started and taken a break from. I'm actually currently reading several series right now, just all but one of them (not including BNHA) is on hold.

I need to catch up on Blue Exorcist and Black Butler. I think those will be 2 of my priorities. I would really like to catch up and then watch the new anime seasons that have come out for them that are continuing the original story from the manga. Just so happens that lucky me, they both got new seasons continuing their stories like right at the same time.

I also need to catch up on D.Gray-Man, but honestly I need to re-read it (again) before I play catch up. Given the slow pace it releases at, this isn't a priority atm but I will do it eventually. I've been following the manga since I was 15 years old so I WILL be doing it justice by making sure I fully understand everything going on when I read the chapters.

I'm a volume-only reader of Durarara and still have one volume that is currently out in english to read before I'm as caught up as I possibly can be, but also this comes out at a slower pace so it's not a high priority right now.

I did start Daemons of the Shadow Realm (Arakawa's new series) and made it to chapter 8 some time last year, but then life got in the way and I couldn't focus on it. I've been collecting the volumes so I can read the physical copies as they release as much as I can before reading it online. This one is a priority as I've been super excited about it ever since I heard it was going to exist. So this will come sooner rather than later.

I also started Choujin X WAAAAYYYY back when it first released but for the same reasons as always life was just too busy and BNHA took up too much brain space. I've heard it's really good, and would like to start it over and continue reading it as it releases, so I'm looking forward to that. Not a priority so it might be a while, but I will be reading this one also.

I have had a tab open to Delicious Dungeon open for months. Since it's actually completed, I'd really like to knock that one out soon. So priority-wise, this may come before all of the others on this list.

I'm also currently reading, and fully caught up on Oshi no Ko, which is now probably my favorite ongoing series out of all of the ones I'm invested in right now. The only series that isn't on hold. Despite BNHA taking up so much brain space, this manga managed to keep its spot in my brain. I super love it, and it's in its final arc. So I'm really excited to see that one through to the end.

Non-manga things, I'm in love with Hazbin Hotel. Even though it'll be a bit before we get the next content release, this one still lives rent free in my brain so.

But yeah, I've actually been anticipating BNHA ending for some time now because of all these other things I want to read but just...couldn't. Lol. Now I'll be able to. And it'll help me cope with the ending of BNHA better I think, and help me shift into the mindset of "these people aren't real I can do with them what I want". Because for most series I actually have a way easier time with that, but for BNHA I was just way to invested in canon making me happy. The only other series I have the same intensity for right now is Hazbin, with one particular character also (guess who). So we'll see how that goes, though I trust the creator of that series significantly more....lol. But I'd like to be able to detach and have fun from now on rather than...dwell. Idk.

But yeah anyway I'm super excited for all the things listed above!

[upperranktwo]

In case it's not obvious, I'm on some sort of a semi-haitus/break atm. Not like a proper break but idk I have little desire to do anything atm. I'll try and post a gifset when I feel motivated and not like I'm forcing myself to and I'll try and check my tracking tag so it's not being neglected. So I'm not here but I am when I have something to post you feel me.

But the last couple months have been a lot. I'm never in a good mental space but 2024 has been really bad and it's super hard for me to keep preserving through it. My anxiety is insane, I'm always unbelievably fucking depressed and I'm just in a bad episode... it's hard to think positively and let myself enjoy things that normally make me happy. I'm not gonna go into things but it's been pretty bad just trying to straight up not try and fucking kms

Yeah, I probably won't really check my dashboard until I don't feel unbelievably fucking overwhelmed... but I'll try and post something when I get around to making something. Doing edits really is good for me and I love to create but the last couple weeks I haven't felt inspired. Hence no gifsets, maybe the next episode will inspire me to post something.

Anyway I'm just venting, I just wish I could get out this episode, they are always so annoying :( I've got through worse and i'm sure i'll get through this... anyone that reads this, ily ♡

[staghunters]

STAGHUNTERS NEOCITIES WEEE

Figured I should make a new post at this point because the other one is getting too long to keep reblogging. I've been tinkering away at the site and it is shaping up! Here's a lil page by page tour under the cut

you can view the site here!

Splash screen!

It's a little bumper so the css can load without it scrabling the home page. It looks alright, but to add some more text to the image, I have to make a new one in the death screen generator, which is not ideal.

The home page!

I've changed the middle window so it fits in better with the rest. Not very visually exciting there in terms of color, but it is for now the best look imo. Text there is aligned justified, I've condensed it a bit more and added the randomized quote section underneath it instead of it being a seperate window on the side.

To do list needs an update but is still accurate. The team is still there, but on the other side, I have set the blinkies to be a bit larger. The music player has been removed because I couldn't find a way to add songs to it that weren't included on the source site. Snufkin is here now. The webrings will need some more. Retronaut is there, but not functioning as it should. it just forwards you to random sites in the ring instead of where it should be, but I can't find what exactly I'm doing wrong with the code.

Another thing that is not working on neocities itself is the "last updated" part. For some reason it doesn't display there what it does display on my local html. Maybe a bug at neo.

And icons at the top on the nav par! Adds some more flair to the place. The footer has also received a minor update: it now has a sitemap link instead of another back-to-home url.

About!

I'm thinking of moving the small window with the short info to the right, but it is here for now. Links that are web-building related are on the right, also for my own referencing. The essentials lists on the left are hidden on load, but can be revealed by tapping the puttons. The lists are in tree-view and the window shouldn't expand over the cassette image once the construction sign is removed. Speaking of, the cassette has a lil playlist.

I might expand on the info a bit more, but that is for me to ponder. I liked including links to tumblr, the guestbook, and a button in case anyone wants to link my site on theirs.

Writing!

Hasn't really changed much. I've been looking at moving the sidebar info to be in the main section upon load, but idk if that would just make things more complicated. Right now it loads to an empty section there, stuff appears once you click a button. PDF support is only available once I'm a supporter of neocities, which i do wanna do but isn't a priority atm just for getting this part running. The links to ao3 will do just fine for now.

Journal!

The space for my rambling. It can be browsed by entry through the post-it, and all that seems to be functioning alright. Added a kitty and a sticker for decoration. The Stop Making Sense bumper sticker will now load a local video of the performance, but once again I won't be able to add this to the site until I get a supporter thing going. It plays/pauses on click, hehe.

Basement!

Decided to add a page for it. Basic info, schedule, link to the room, my letterboxd, and an overview of past movies. It's a nice spot on the site that is also the most cramped, but I like how it turned out.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

In case any page/url error happens, you can send a movie recommendation to B (their askbox is linked when you open on desktop)

UNDER HEAVY CONSTRUCTION

The art and other pages are very much works in progress. Art can be up and running once I upload art to the site, but I'm not sure if I want to post full pieces here. Maybe I'll make it a space for sketch stuff that I'd otherwise discard.

As for the other page: I might be filing it under the writing page as a section, since the only thing here is WvW atm. It's cool that it has it's own thing, but I'm not sure if something that is basically a fanfic warrants such a space. That, or I keep it and drop all my other-media stuff in here so there's more to look at.

That's it for now! I got some ideas on how to continue, but they're not super-duper set in stone.