#I'll stop rambling now oops

[oc-place]

"I'll be there for you, no matter what you're going through I'll be there with you, anytime that you need me to"

Nyx Hopper & Jen Brooks (for @jennathearcher)

[biblically-accurate-dca]

super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want

[chipsncookies]

(Read from right to left)👈

I headcanon that Yullian was sent to learn self defense from Ultraman Red and 80 was her sparring partner because they were close in age, that's how they became friends ☺️ more explanation under the cut

Ultraman Red is from Ultraman 80 manga by Tetsuji Kataoka, he's 80's adopted father and Ultra Father's best friend. Not sure if he's canon (probably isn't) but I'm not gonna ignore him, instead i try to fit him with canon info!

Yullian is a princess, meanwhile 80 isn't a royalty (if he is they'd probably say it?) but they are childhood friends, so i always wondered how they became friends when they have almost nothing in common. My brain can't help adding red to the equation, i wondered if they became friends before or after 80 was adopted and whether red helped make that possible.

Then i remembered Yullian has fighting synergy with 80 (well in her only show appearance at least) so it's possible she had trained with him before, and red's job seems to train cadets, so my brain ultimately concocted that maybe she learned self defense from red and 80 became her sparring partner (they were close in age, shes 7800 he's 8000). It's important to make sure she can learn properly, it wouldn't be fair for a child to spar with an adult lol. So they quickly become friends 💖

I love the idea of Red treating them like his own children, it's cute ☺️💖 I imagine that the cadets also get invested in her and 80 and always root for them like their own little siblings 🥹 I have this whole vision of red and them congratulating her when she finished training/became a proper princess/when 80 take off to earth...

[the-down-upside-finch]

Last Line Tag!

Got tagged by @e-s-willswriting on this post, and I like these games so I'mma do this again.

Anyways, I'm CACKLING because the last time I did this, I posted a snippet of out-of-context dialogue from Pentad of Un, and here we are again with the same character.

“Y’know what,” Luss said, swinging his feet to the floor, “I think I wanna go watch Adif obliterate Shay’s snot-nosed cousin. Anyone wanna come with?” He picked up one of the stacks of books and headed for a shelf.

This line will appear in chapter 30 and that's all I'm gonna say ahaha

Uhhhhh I shall tag... *checks recent notes* (no pressure, especially because I think I've already tagged some of y'all for this tag game) @maskedemerald, @athenswrites, @fire-but-ashes-too, @my-cursed-prince, and anyone else that wants to play!

[that-was-anticlimactic]

universe of constant spinning, every end a new beginning

“So, do you have an umbrella? That was like, your thing, right? At Claw?”

Ah—not again! He can’t keep zoning out while talking to people—especially his boss.

But… why was Reigen still here? It was late and he always got to work early. It wasn’t his job to stay and coddle his employees. “I—uh—no,” he stuttered, fingers twisting anxiously. “Mine was, uh, "is” broken, sir.”

‘Broken’ was a mild way to put it. More like it got destroyed.

[or, reigen gives serizawa an umbrella]

☔️2,651 words | serirei☔️

[storfulsten]

lol did I just lose 3 followers for mentioning a cool new song? ok

[welcometoteyvat]

ok very interesting quest in hsr

[shy-little-gigglee-bun]

time to play another round of hide-and-seek in the tags 🙈🙈🙈🙈

tw for ouid mention

[astrxealis]

thinking a lot about fe3h lately dimitri felix yuri my beloveds (i have a type). also thinking about specifically akechi sandalphon g'raha (i also have a type but it's spoilers to elaborate)

[piplupod]

counselor has called in sick I guess (she's not "in" today) so.... at least I don't have to sit in her chair and lie about how I'm doing to avoid being put in psych ward ? a win and a loss I suppose (also I was absolutely about to forget to bring the distress tolerance booklet she wanted me to bring so fhdjdl perhaps this is a saving grace)

[armafidelium]

hi there. while i've not been around on here for long i've quite enjoyed my time here thus far as a return to writing on this site. this kind of season tends to be busy and sometimes hectic for others and regardless of where you are at and what you have in store for this season be it a wonderful season for your or one that can be a little tough i wish you the most merry of days and hope these coming up days and the days leading to the new year are filled with nothing short of the most wonderful joy for you and your loved ones. thank yu all so much for making my return to this site and my time thus far some of the most fun i've had writing in a really long time. many wonderful wishes to you all for whichever holiday(s) you celebrate and i hope you have a lovely day.

[urwhorecrux]

poly!marauders x drunk!reader at a party and reader needy but they don’t want to help reader because they don’t want to do anything when reader basically unconscious of what’s happening because reader is drunk. So they try to explain to reader that they will gladly take care of them after they get better and go to bed. Thank you!

<3

⋆ ˚⁀➷ ₊˚⊹⋆ Our darling poly!marauders.

pairing. poly!marauders x fem!reader.

warnings. mentions of alcohol, alussions to sex, pet names.

a/n. SRRYYYY this is a little blurb, i've been busy doing yet another sport. also didnt mean to leave sirius out in the end oops. not proofread.

masterlist.

Your boyfriends leaving you alone for a moment seemed like a good idea. maybe a new way for you to socalize, or to spend more time with girls from your house- until it was the opposite.

Sirius came back to finding you on the couch, completely out of it with not a single thought in your eyes. It was nearly the same for him, but he was slightly more conscious of everything around him, surprisingly.

"Where have you two been?" James was ecstatic to see you, as always.

He'd been more than pleased when you showed up to the party they'd planned after they won the quidditch cup, even wearing James' uniform.

"Sorry prongs, jus' wondered off for a while", sirius grinned, wrapping an arm around you before placing sloppy kisses across your face.

"Alright yea that's jus' great pads, c'mon let's just take her up", james gently lifts you off the couch, draping your hands across his shoulders as he cradles you.

You giggle at this feeling, loving the feel of Jame's rough biceps after all those years of qudditch, and the way Sirius' hair sits as he follows along, gently cupping your face rambling out undescribable words.

James signals for Remus, noticing he's busy by the chocolate fountain, discovering anything that was possible to dip in there.

"Moooonnyyy", you call out, a giggling mess.

His ears perk instantly as his eyes widen, the sight of you drunk was funny to James and Sirius, but to him he always seemed more concerned.

"You smell like firewhiskey, what'd we say about firewhiskey?" he pouts, slowly rubbing your head.

You're in James' arms, still being cradled as the other two boys follow along, Sirius being a stumbling mess and Remus being prepared to catch him if he tumbled down the stairs. The door opens, the smell of a warm fire going and soft cologne fills your head, James carefully places you on his bed.

"I'll have one night of passion with her first, if you don't mind," Sirius announces, stumbling over to the bed.

"C'mere Siri", you call, desperately needing his touch, unaware of James and Remus hurriedly stopping him.

"Not tonight Pads, tommorrow we'll take care of her", Remus smirks, "Tonight you're both sloppy drunks, later".

Sirius can't help but get defensive in a dramatic manor, now arguing with Remus as James approaches you with an old t shirt of his.

"Oh, Jamie" you smile widely, still slightly dazy about everything going on in the room. "You're here to finally kiss me? Want you so bad Jami-" you cut off by James shoving his t-shirt over your head.

"No dove, not tonight tomorrow when you feel better, promise", he places a soft kiss against your forehead, now going to the other side of the bed and spooning you.

Remus approaches, now laying your head on his chest as he settles comfortably.

"Rem, t-tell him 's not fair" you groan, nuzzling into his neck.

Remus shakes his head, whispering "tomorrow, tomorrow," as he gently kisses your cheek.

Sirius stumbles towards the bed, nearly yelling goodnight to everyone as he tumbles down on the couch, falling asleep in almost a weirdest, yet comfortable enough for him position.

[charmante-mp3]

Easier

-- Day 9; Stockings (Song Mingi x Fem!Reader)

The people called for Mingi, and so I deliver to you, Song Mingi. And yes, this is from my Kinktober prompt from last year- This is also halfway edited, ending might feel a little rushed? Idk I'll come back to this... maybe. - Kinktober ML Main ML Warnings; Fem-bodied reader, she/her pronouns, squirting, m! and f! oral receiving/giving, unprotected sex (only allowed in reading don't do irl!), thigh-riding/fucking, reader flashes Mingi on accident oops- 1.6k

Y/n looked herself up and down in the mirror, not knowing how she felt about the fabric adorning her legs. A few weeks back, she and her friends went shopping just before settling for drinks. A now monthly routine they had slowly accustomed to. On that night, when she was home the girl haphazardly threw the bags in a corner of her room. Only remembering the new items thirty minutes ago. She sat on her bed, pant less, with nothing but a cream colored sweater and a brand new pair of white stockings. Y/n had purchased many types of stockings in the past, ranging from boring long black socks to pink ones with bows adorning the edges. However, her plush thighs spilling over the top now occupied her thoughts. 

The bitter silence was the first thing Mingi noticed when he walked into the girls home. Usually, the TV was playing or maybe music but not one noise sounded through the house. Did she forget he was headed over? Mingi began to think she was gone and headed to lounge on her couch. He stopped mid-way hearing a loud sigh come from the hallway leading towards her room.

“Y/n, you here?” Mingi’s loud voice tore the girl away from her thoughts, completely forgetting entirely what she was just doing. 

“Yeah, I’m in my room,” She yelled back at him, his footsteps now making way towards her open door.

“Hey, what 'cha doin’?” Mingi’s head peaked in, his newly dyed platinum hair shining in the sun that peeked through her window. 

“I forgot about these new clothes I bought, for some reason I don’t know if I like these new socks,” She looked down at her legs with a confused glare in her eyes. Mingi’s eyes trailed down her figure, breath hitching at the white, lacy stockings. The lace at the top kept bunching together as her thighs pushed over the tight section that stopped mid thigh. Mingi’s hands bunched together as he quickly brought his eyes back to her face. Stopping the thoughts of his large hands gathering the soft skin. 

“I think they look fine,” He said after shamelessly clearing his throat. The poor girl was just as clueless as Mingi sometimes. Like in this situation, both are clueless to the effect they have on each other. Y/n’s new item flutters something in Mingi’s stomach and his complement makes way to hers. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. They’re kind of itchy,” The girl lifted her leg to start removing the increasingly uncomfortable stockings. In this process, accidentally flashing the man in her room.

“Oh my god Y/n,” Mingi’s eyes flew shut at what he saw and the sudden air flow in her lower area reminded her, she wasn’t wearing and pants or underwear. 

“Mingi I’m so sorry,” Her legs flew down, a blush flushing her cheeks. In different circumstances she wouldn’t have minded, but this was an accident. There’s no telling how uncomfortable Mingi was right now. 

“Can I please say something, you can hate me, think I'm gross and everything but you have such a pretty pussy,” Mingi’s hands flew to his face, a fire building up his neck as he rambled. Those words dug a deeper pit into Y/n’s stomach. Mingi was always prone to complimenting the girl, it was his second nature, but those words took this situation a bit further. 

“You can get a better look if you’d like Mingi,” Her words came out barely above a whisper. Mingi’s eyes popped open, his pants growing increasingly tighter.

“I can?” He asked breathlessly. His hands grew clammy, his heart pounding at his chest. With a nod of her head and the slow opening of her legs, the tall male quickly walked over and dove down to her. He hovered over her face before dropping to her increasingly wet pussy, shoving his face into her, inhaling the sweet smell of her sex.

“Fuck,” Mingi growled, feeling pre-cum gather in his boxers. He couldn’t worry about that right now, all he wanted was a taste. 

“Can I taste you?” Mingi asked, his breath airing over her cunt. 

“Please,” She whined at the male, one of her hands flying to his hair as his lips came in contact with her clit. 

“Fuck me, Mingi!” His pace was relentless. Her high was coming embarrassingly fast with the way he sucked and rolled his tongue around her clit. The pleasure was numbing her thighs, unable to feel the forming bruises Mingi brought upon them. Cream coated Mingi’s tongue as she came, but he didn’t stop or slow down. She clenched around nothing when his tongue occasionally slipped inside, curling around and slipping out returning to the torture on her clit.

“Mingi!” She gasped at him, her high increasing even after just cumming. Her back arched, pushing Mingi away as a clear liquid coated his face. He let out a loud groan, grasping his clothed cock as she covered him in her essence. His once light grey tee now darkened around his neck, cum covering his face. Mingi looked down at the dazed girl, her breathing labored as she came down from her high. Y/n looked down to see Mingi palming himself and with that she weakly pushed herself up, which caught Mingi’s attention. 

“Wanna make you feel good,” She said, replacing his hands with her own. Her hands softly pulled at his sweats and Mingi lifted himself, allowing her to pull out his desperate cock. A pathetic whine left his lips as her thumb met the tip, running it along the slit and wiping away the pre-cum stuck to it. His head flew back as she slid her hand further and took him down her throat. Mingi was long just as he was thick, popping him from her mouth she allowed spit to fall from it. Using the spit to jerk the other half of him she couldn’t fit in her mouth. His hands found a refugee wrapped in her hair. His stomach clenched as her throat swallowed around him, his high growing near. His hips twitched as he filled her throat with cum, pushing himself farther down her throat in the process. Y/n pushed his thighs, his cock and cum flooding out with a grotesque gurgle. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Mingi rushed to the girl, but she grabbed his hands.

“Mingi I need you to fuck me, please,” Her voice was hoarse and it drove him crazy. 

“Keep those on,” He grunted in her ear. Her hands stopped fiddling with the long socks covering most of her plush thighs. Mingi then picked her up and flipped them around. Her bare cunt now flushed against his bare thigh. 

“Fuck yourself on it,” Mingi’s eyes met hers as he guided her hips around his thigh. He groaned at her slick coating his thigh, small mewls now left the girls throat as Mingi continued a slow pace. Then he tensed his thigh, pushing her further into him. 

“Mingi,” Y/n whined, she wanted more unfortunately Mingi wanted to see the girl fall apart one more time before she came on his cock. His lips came in contact with her neck, before deciding he was tired of her cute sweater. He pulled it off and in return she pulled at his while still grinding on his thigh. As she worked herself, Mingi removed his own shirt allowing her to run her fingers down his chest. The action caused him to shiver as her nails scratched his abdomen. Lips had now found their way back to her neck trailing down to her breast. As Mingi kneaded at one, his mouth enveloped the other one rolling his tongue around it just as he did to her clit moments before. 

“Mingi, i’mma cum again,” The girl above him cried, throwing her head back as she continually fucked herself on his large thigh. He could feel her wetness run down his leg and his cock was red and hard all over again from watching her use him. 

“Cum on my thigh baby, you’re doing so well for me,” His deep voice rang in her ears, she chanted his name like a mantra as she chased her next high. Her eyes rolled back and her body seized, cumming on the blonde male once again. Before she was able to regain a normal state, she was placed below Mingi. He had propped her waist on a pillow before pressing himself along her back. 

“You’ll tell me to stop if it hurts, right? I need words baby,” He voiced into her ear. 

“I will,” Y/n’s voice sounded almost gone as she spoke. It was raspy and shaky, Mingi wondered what she’d sound like once he was done filling her. Mingi rubbed his cock through her folds before slowly pushing into the girl. Y/n moaned as he stretched her out perfectly ruining her cunt for anyone else. 

“So full,” She moaned as Mingi bottomed her out. Mingi’s mind was in shambles trying not to move as she clenched around him, but he needed her to move first. It was only mere seconds before Y/n’s body wiggled back to him encouraging him to move. He held himself a little longer letting out a guttural moan he towered over her, watching her increasingly fuck herself on his cock. Mingi’s patience snapped as he grabbed the girl's wrist, pinning them above her as he roughly pounded his cock into her weeping pussy. Y/n could no longer form words, just loud moans as Mingi’s hand made his way to her swollen clit. The constant pleasure building in her stomach caused her to shake at her final orgasm. Her pussy pushed out Mingi’s cock and squirted once again, now coating the male's lower half. 

At this point, Mingi didn’t know if she could handle another one so he pushed her thighs together, using the previous liquids to fuck her soft thighs. Mingi came, his seed running down onto her plush covers and brand new stockings.

“Well, if it makes you feel better I don’t think you’ll be able to wear these stockings again,” -

[nebuladreamz]

Thinking about how if i ever had the opportunity to make. a mascot horror game or story that i'd have it take place right before the eventual Big Fall of the establishment

[Big ramble under the cut lmao]

Something something reuse how I thought for Security Breach we'd play as Vanessa and the five nights formula was doing the shift but slowly discovering through each shift that Some Shit is happening and she has to stop it (directly before we found out Vanessa was Vanny/Vanessa was the security guard's name)

LIKE!!! I fucking adore how a couple of standout mascot horror games have been [primarily Indigo Park, I'm willing to give it a shot and it's deadass because of Rambley and his role as an AI assistant], but a lot of what I've seen personally (stares at. Fucking. Garten of Banban), it's a lot of post fall. Always investigating or going through the abandoned place where shit's gone wrong (thank you BATIM for starting the chapter-based formula -bangs head-)

But like. I've always thought about what it would be like for a mascot horror game to take place before the fall, or even during it depending on the execution.

Before the fall, you're either a kid who's a regular at the establishment (daycare, amusement park, whatever) or even an employee working there-

(or even MORE interestingly, if we go with a chapter-based thing or even similar to FNAF in terms of there's a set thing for whatever, the POV keeps changing between different people- wait I'm cooking. i'll get back to that later actually)

-And slowly as it all develops, you watch as everything begins to just. Fall apart. Employees leaving, the place coming down into disrepair, something's up with the main mascots of the place but you don't know what (at least in universe, we all know this formula as players)

Actually, coming back to the changing POVs, you can even draw in inspiration from DBH (I only watched gameplay back then oops) where the perspective changes between different people. A child enjoying their day, a first time employee, a long time employee, a parent of a child. Hell, depending on things, you could even have a moment where (depending on the location) you play as a fucking burglar looking to steal shit (before getting. Fucking bass boosted)

And eventually there'd come the inevitable end where it all closes down, leaving whatever living mascots inside to rot (insert Abandoned by Disney line here /j)

LIKE!!! I want to see people expand on the formula!! I want to see people fuck around and find out!!!

Honest to god, I might take this and run with it myself cause now I'M getting ideas.

[toournextadventure]

Can you do a story that's kinda like this

Reader gets in a heated argument with a student at Nevermore and gets into a fight at the quad and Wednesday is with Enid and sees and is like Ill brb and stops breaks up the fight and drags reader to the dorm to see if they're injured and there's fluff at the end

Love ur writing a lot! (=

Damn right I can, it's right under the cut! Also, I do NOT always write this fast, you just caught me at the perfect time, oops.

Trouble Maker

It was never a surprise when students got into fights with each other at Nevermore. If Wednesday was being honest with herself, you singlehandedly started the majority of them. Not a day went by where she thought you would keep your recklessness to yourself. It did wonders for her ego when you proved her right time and time again.

Though she would admit, she had hoped you would keep yourself in check today. Nothing special was going on, she just was not in the mood to tolerate your inability to keep your mouth shut. “Inherited it from my dad,” you said with a bloody smile one day after starting an argument. It was a wonderful colour on your lips; it suited you.

No, today Wednesday just wanted to go back to her room and listen to Enid ramble about whatever else she had going on with Ajax later that day. She would never admit it aloud, but the incessant rambling was almost a comfort to her ceaseless thoughts. A calm in the storm, of sorts, a welcome distraction until you could grace her with your presence later on.

Or now, Wednesday thought as she and Enid turned into the quad and saw the events unfolding before them.

To no one’s surprise, you were stood toe-to-toe with one of the Nevermore students. Wednesday didn’t know his name, and she didn’t care to. What she did care about was the little twitch of your fingers and the way you tilted your head. She knew what that meant.

There was no chance to get to you before your hands wrapped around your opponent’s neck. You pulled him down until you could jab your knee into his stomach, letting go immediately and stepping back into a fighting stance as he doubled over with a groan. A smile; that was what graced your lips as you looked down in sadistic joy as he tried - and failed - to get back to his feet.

“Come on, then, stand up,” you taunted. “Here, I’ll help you.” You grabbed him by the back of his uniform and hauled him back up to his feet.

"Not again," Enid mumbled from beside Wednesday.

Your opponent wrapped his arms around your waist and tackled you to the ground, and the fight started in earnest. You clearly had the upper hand, but he got a few good hits in. He even landed an elbow to your nose, the beautifully sickening crunch of your nose echoing through the quad.

"I'll see you tonight," Wednesday said to Enid without taking her eyes off you.

"Good luck," Enid answered as she walked off, probably back to their shared room.

Wednesday took calculated steps to where you were straddling your target. One of your hands was pinning him to the ground while the other was pulled back into a fist. You were poised like a snake ready to strike; you even had the same sparkle in your eyes. Accentuated, of course, by the blood pouring from your broken nose.

Until she stood directly in front of you and that spark was replaced by something much more childlike.

“Hello, Wednesday,” you said in a soft voice that betrayed your current predicament. “You look stunning today, cuore mio.”

Wednesday kept her mouth shut, instead focusing on instilling fear into your soul. It worked as it always did. Your fist slowly lowered until your shoulders sagged and you looked like you had been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. She didn’t have to say a word, only grab your arm and drag you behind her.

“Thanks, Addams,” your poor victim managed to groan before you were both out of earshot.

“I can explain,” you said once Wednesday shut your bedroom door behind her.

“Shut up and sit down,” she demanded. She didn’t have to look to know you had listened as she grabbed the first aid kit from your desk.

You kept your mouth shut when Wednesday approached, standing in front of your position on your bed. Even with you sitting she was barely taller than you, but she knew it didn’t change a thing. You very well knew who was in charge. For one of the only times in your life, you sat there and behaved while she started cleaning you up.

“Who started it?” Wednesday asked once she started cleaning the blood from the gash on your nose. You flinched. Good.

“He did,” you said in a nasally voice; clearly the bloody nose was finally getting to you. “He called Enid high maintenance.”

“He happens to be correct,” Wednesday commented. She touched the tender skin around your nose, taking note of which areas were more sensitive. The bruises were already starting to form around your eyes; it really made them pop.

“Eh, I’ve been wanting to kick his ass all week anyway,” you said with a shrug and a loud exhale through your mouth. “It made a good excuse.”

Wednesday didn’t grace you with a response. The pile of bloody gauze was growing, but it appeared the bleeding had slowed significantly. All she had to do was put a bandage over the gash and then ice your nose and you would be fine. Maybe it would scar; you most certainly hoped it would. A true masochist at heart, she thought.

Your eyes squeezed shut as she placed the bandage on your nose; far softer than she ever should have. She left her cold hands pressed gently against your skin as a pitiful substitute for ice. A sight slipped from between your lips and you leaned into her hands, the pain on your face almost instantly vanishing.

“Move,” Wednesday mumbled. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, but you listened and moved over so she could get beside you on the bed.

You laid down on your back and oustretched an arm. Wednesday hesitated only for a moment before laying down beside you and throwing one arm around your waist. If anyone ever caught her like this, she would kill them slowly and painfully. But in this moment where it was just the both of you, she would gladly lay with you and listen to your heartbeat.

“Quit starting fights,” Wednesday said once your breathing had started to even out.

“Why?” You asked. “Starting to care about me?”

“Yes,” she admitted softly. “It’s starting to become an inconvenience.” She could feel your body shake underneath her, accompanied by your soft laughter.

“I’ll do my best,” you said, a smile evident in your tone.

Your arm wrapped tighter around Wednesday, pulling her closer into your body. She could feel your fingers twitching and moving over her hip. You were warm, and you were holding her too tight, and your mouth breathing was unbearable. It was grating on every cell in her body and left her skin crawling. And she was comfortable. If given half the chance, she would stay in your smothering embrace for the rest of her life.

It felt like comfort, and she felt at home.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

How good are the ft2 mercs at baking and cooking respectively

TF2 Mercs Cooking And Baking Skills!

————————————————————

Oh boy, you've asked a guy who loves to cook a bake, prepare for a ramble.

Moot appreciation: Thank you for your asks! I've had fun with the prompts you've sent it. Also, I love your blog!

Also, oops, a little Spy angst fell in, who would have guessed.

————————————————————

Demo- I'm gonna go out on a limb and say most people think he can't cook. Wrong! He can cook. Just uh, unique dishes. This man has made haggis for the other mercs, Scout whole heartedly thought Demo was trying to kill them. (Little off topic but, did you guys know deep-fried Mars bars are a Scottish thing)? But in general he can cook, and cook well, it just depends on if what he's cooking is something your willing to try.

I don't think this man can bake, but that won't stop him from trying! He tries to learn, but always gets frustrated when things don't work. Like the cupcakes have been in the oven for well over two hours and are still not cooked? This man is pissed. But what he lacks in an ability to bake, he makes up for by being amazing at decorating cakes and cupcakes somehow? Like he can't bake a cupcake to save his life, but you bet your ass he can turn it into one of the prettiest things with a bag of frosting and sprinkles.

————————————————————

Engie- This man is so good at cooking its not even funny. Like the he cooks for everyone one night and everyone begs him to cook at least once a month. Sure, is it the healthiest food? Not really. But it is good food! And for the mercs that's all they really care about some days.

I'm gonna be honest, he'd be a really good baker, but has never had any desire to. Never felt the need to. He'd rather just buy whatever he wants or needs. He can, however be convinced to bake, but even then he's indifferent to it. He thinks it's a fine enough hobby but would never find enthralled with it. Is always very proud of his work in either cooking or baking though!

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Heavy- He can cook! And really likes to do it too. He loves making traditional Russian food. Loves being able to share his culture through something so simple. Likes making anything really. Finds cooking to be relaxing. As long as he can be left alone while doing so.

He can bake too, he just choses not to. It's very precise, one wrong measurement and it's all going to hell. He'd love to bake, but at the end of the day I think it would stress him out more than it would calm him down, or more than it would be worth it for the final product.

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Medic- This is such a toss up for me. I want to say he can cook, and cook well. But the other part of me thinks that he'd be way too giddy to use cooking the team dinner to run a test or two. (What am I talking about he put fertility hormones in someone's rations, he'd take any chance to do it (lovingly)! To the other mercs). I guess I'll say he can cook, but be weary of what he's feeding you at any given time. Also I think if he's not in a testing mood he gets all happy at the idea of cooking traditional food as well.

Due to the fact that, may or may not be up to no good when cooking! The mercs are not super keen on letting him into the kitchen. But if Medic manages to convince (threaten) them into trusting him enough to bake, he's insanely good at it! Baking is a science, and he's incredibly good at getting measurements to be perfect. Plus even if he's not using baking or cooking as an excuse to run some tests on his teammates, it's still an experiment in it's own right. So he genuinely enjoys baking and cooking.

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Scout- You really think his mom would let him leave the house without knowing to cook? Sure, he's probably his mom's favorite, and the youngest child, so you'd think he'd be spoiled, but nope! His mom taught him from a young age the importance of having cooking as a skill, and now he loves it. He cooks when he's homesick, it reminds him of his mom, he looks at it as a connection with one another.

Same thing with baking, but I think he likes baking a bit more than cooking due to the presence of a shit ton of sugar. You'd also think this man would be chill in the kitchen. Absolutely not. He hates having other people in the kitchen when he's busy. He finds them to be distracting. Also, he's super cautious when people ask to try what he's baking specifically. He doesn't want someone to get E. Coli, because of the raw flour in the raw cookie dough. All in all, though, when he's alone (or with Pyro if they decide to join Scout). Then he's genuinely enjoying both baking and cooking.

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Sniper- Mr. Runs off instant ramen and fairy bread. Has the basic skills. He could make rice, grilled cheese, and fried eggs if need be. But for the most part, he can't cook. He has a stove in his van, and it has never been used other than to boil water. He could learn how to cook if he was really persuaded by a certain team member, but it would take a lot, and it would take a long time to learn how to cook a decent meal.

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Spy- Can cook, he has before. It was a life skill just like any other. I got pretty good at it. He can still make decently elaborate dishes, but he's not a fan of it. He doesn't really like cooking. He never had anyone to share his food with. He always wanted someone to share food with, someone to cook with. Was always too scared for said person to actually stick around, said person couldn't stick around.

He's never tried to bake, and I don't think he'd enjoy it. He'd complain about how messy it is. He'd be fine with the having to be careful and precise part. Hell He'd even be good at decorating and just baking in general. But he just wouldn't like doing it.

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Soldier- This man can't so much as cook as he can grill. It's super weird, he'll make the most normal american food and it's like really good? Like he'll make steaks, hamburgers, and hot dogs for a 4th of July party and it's the best shit you've ever had. Ask this man to fry an egg and all hell breaks loose. He is only allowed to man the grill from now on.

Do not ask this man to bake, please, please don't. He cooks with cartoon logic. The recipe calls for three eggs? He drops in three fully-shelled eggs. A stick of butter? The wrapper is still on. And the scariest part is whatever he's baking always comes out looking, edible? Cartoonish? Like straight up looks like someone drew it into existence. For the sake of everyone's mental health, they don't let Soldier bake anymore.

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Pyro- Teach them how to flambé and they're going to have the best time of their lives. They aren't horrible at cooking but aren't a master chef either. They have tried to use their flamethrower to cook on multiple occasions, but they have been banned from being in the kitchen alone due to "inciting panic." Whatever that means. They mainly will cook with Engie, as he's the most patient when it comes to Pyro's "help." (Standing menacingly until they can be trusted to do something. They do it with love, though)!

Speaking of flambé! They love to try and convince the other mercs to let them make bananas Foster, and when they eventually wear the other mercs down and are allowed to try it, they do well! It was a one-time thing, they all got too scared to let them do it again. Now they spend a lot of time helping Scout while he bakes. Overall, they can cook and bake, but should only be allowed to under supervision.

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I hope you like this! Sorry it took me so long to write I've been exhausted all week. But it was fun to write :)

New fic tomorrow, someone asked about the mercs at Barbie, which is going to be so fun!