#I'm a bisaster

[smoldinobeans]

me (right) next to my straight crush (left)

[incorrectkakagaiquotes]

(Gai is freaking out after a fight with Kakashi, so he shows up at Kurenai and Asuma's) Gai (when Kurenai opens the door):...Kurenai, I'm a mess. I'm a disaster. I'm a...bi-saster. I'M A BISASTER, KURENAI!

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

(Buck is freaking out after a fight with Tommy, so he shows up at Maddie and Chimney's) Buck(when Maddie opens the door):...Maddie, I'm a mess. I'm a disaster. I'm a...bi-saster. I'M A BISASTER, MADDIE!

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

tag thing

I got tagged by @tardis-to-pendragon and @thegreymoon. Thank you sm!! ❤ ❤

Last song I listened to: I was listening to the Eminem and Dido song Stan

Favourite colour: dark blue and dark purple

Currently watching: I had started 911 a year ago and then took a break around s3 to watch something else, but with all the excitement about the newest eps figured it was time to continue watching it, so currently doing that

Sweet/savory/spicy: All three, depends on my mood

Relationship status: Single and very happy about it

Current obsession: Blue Eye Samurai. I have major brain rot at the moment.

Last thing you googled: Was looking up Dido because I was wondering where she disappeared to

I'm tagging: @zoroshonkingbazonkadonkas, @youdontloveme-yet, @bisaster-energy, @kuraioshiro, @dengswei

[amypihcs]

Hello hello hello! Watson writing about a story of three men, the Three Garridebs! Ans he's feeling poetic!

And i bet MY ASS that the bloodletting is the reason why Holmes is not grumbling to much at all this poetry Watson has decided to write! A very teatrical incipit, i must say (my italian professor would be soooo proud of me for this comment uwu)

Let's see, indeed!

When they dare to offer you a KNIGHTHOOD to Holmes and force him both to refuse and to spend some days in bed, maybe cuddling with Watson. But now he has a case or something! Hey love, look at this!

Holmes came out of the room, kissed Watson's hair, hey love, see if you can find a guy with this name! What a weird name, but wow! here it is!!

AAAAND no, dearest, this is the one who employed me... you know any other?

Why Holmes, another one is here! No, lovely, he also is already counted! But let's receive him! Weird that he should drop by...

WATSON! is now the time?? Miners and crafters, another bistinguished bisaster Watson moment!

Ah and this John Garrideb is a FANBOY! Guess that Holmes is not so happy to be so recognizable, it's a mess for incognito missions! Well, let's deduce this man a bit!

Uh,. but he seems quite irked by, y'know, Sherlock Holmes doing his job. Watson somehow finds it amusing!

Perfect, shall we get to business?

Sorry if i had some bit of fun, my Watson knows i do it a-Hey! What do you mean WHY i was called into this matter?

because, american DUMBASS, i'm a DETECTIVE! Now tell me and my friend the whole story. Yes, so my Watson can know everything

Well, OF COURSE! I'd tell him everything all the same! He's my husband. This guy is more and more suspicious!

Well, he tells his tale, all the facts and then takes his leave, with the promise of contacting Holmes again in few days. And now Holmes is feeling pensive

And so the 'facts' were a nice bag of LIES. And Holmes has decided that he feels like playing cat and mouse with this man, Watson likes it too!

Plus, the case is funny! And it's high time for a properly funny case! Now, Watson, would you call your Mr Garrideb?

They take an appointment with hims and drop at his!

Well, at least he's a true person! Good!

And, Watson, you're AS KIND AS EVER!

Now time for some cross-questioning!

I mean, my man, Holmes DID tell you that you didn't need to tell him! ah! Hey, is there anyone?

Ah! the suspicious american! WEEEEIRD that one the SAME day a detective gets called Garrideb n° 3 is found uh?

And the american is sending the half mummified Garrideb to meet him? EVEN MORE suspicious!

Holmes approving? He seems to have a plan somehow. Let me now alright?

Watson will tell us in the next letter!!

[bisexual-coala]

Not a questions really. But just wanted to let you know, that I've finally started to watch the Harley Quinn series. I'm only 3 episodes in but I totally love it so far. You were basically my gateway to the show. Was not on my radar at all. So thanks for the new ship <3

Harley is such a bisaster, I love her. And I would die and kill for Ivy. She is such a mood.

Aww yay <3 I am so glad that you started watching it!!! I'm just doing my part in spreading the agenda of the bisexual queens Harlivy <33

I know right! She's THE bisexual disaster ever! Ivy is so relatable fr. Also we got season 5 announced recently!! So we have much to look forward to!

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!!

[fayesdiary]

5, 6, 16, 27 for the ask game <3

5) What game would you recommend to someone new to the series?

Definitely Engage, considering it's a love letter to the whole series!

It's got great gameplay that's easy to get into, a simple but heartfelt story, really fun characters and all the overt references to the other games are likely to get you curious about the rest of the series!

6) Who's your favorite lord/protagonist?

ALEAR my beloved. They're so good and I love their story and character so much ;_;

It's just... they're so down-to-earth but at the same time so kind and genuine, you know? And I really appreciate just how unabashedly emotional and vulnerable they are, and I definitely get why they're so beloved in-universe. They're just a little guy (gender neutral)

16) What's your favorite world/setting?

Valentia, bar none. Tellius is a close second though.

27) Any fanfics/fan content you'd recommend? (You can plug your own stuff it's fine)

Good thing I actually started bookmarking the fics I really liked, would have really struggled otherwise😅

Hi, Lumera! - A short but heartwrenching Sommie PoV where it's waiting patiently for Lumera come back visiting them, not realizing death is a thing.

Emerald Moon - Coalition of Deer and Lion - One of those fics that merge Azure Moon and Verdant Wind together. It's really, REALLY good. I remember getting super hooked reading this!

the devil's got a hand in me, i can't deny by @felikatze - In which an Emmeryn that lived negotiates with Grima and she finds for the first time someone willing to listen.

Hiding My Violets (Before You Can See) by @nowis-scales - Kinda biased since it was a birthday gift for me but, hey😂 A Faye/Celica Modern AU oneshot with basically everything that makes that rarepair so great! Also fluffy as heck :3

Socially Distant by me :) - Modern AU Faye/Rinea story and also the first and only proper Faye/Rinea fic as of now. Part character study for both of them, but mainly it's the two women being complete bisasters together.

Valentian Reports by me :) - A retelling of Echoes through short diary entries written by almost every named character, kind of in the style of the diary entries and secret reports from KH Days. Still one of the fics I'm most proud of!

[plumbum-art]

Hi, just discovered your blog and I'm already in love with your art <3 what a talent, seriously!

I was wondering if it'd be okay to use part of your comic as my header here on tumblr (with credit of course)? The "stop it you stupid biiiiiiiiii" is just too perfect for your friendly neighbourhood bisaster :'D

Hi there :)

Thank you for asking and yes you may use the comic part for your header. But please for nothing more and with credit. Have a nice day!

[hellverse]

thank you for the tag @st-leclerc, i definitely didn't almost forget (kisses) <3

“get to know me better” game! (under the cut)

answering questions, then tagging 9 people you want to get to know better!

Last song you listened to: are you scared of me yet by daisy grenade, i strongly encourage everyone to listen to it, their songs are like a little boost of serotonin to me, i'm currently obsessed with the quicker paced ones, and the energy is insane

Currently watching: criminal minds for like the. 40th time in my life. almost at the end of it already, so next comes the merlin rewatch.

Currently obsessed with: .....merlin. but like supernatural, that never really goes away. so i think a better answer is writing. it tends to come in and out for me, but i've been trying to stick with it and i've really enjoyed it!!!

thank you again for the tag!!!!

here are my very important nominees (ps. i will not take it to heart if you don't end up doing it!): @castielsprostate @how-the-feathers-have-fallen @dykeydean @bloodydeanwinchester @realmandolin @butch--dean @forestofsprites @kerryweaverlesbian @bisaster-energy

[birues]

Top 9 shows! Tagged by @lavampira ty bestie 💜💜💜

1) Six Flying Dragons: A historical drama that tells the story of the founding of the Joseon Dynasty, great acting, great characters, great moments, great music... Love it very much

2) The Untamed: I can't say the cinematography, CGI, costumes and such are good with The Untamed but the story makes up for it thousandfold. It has so many of my favorite tropes as well. Wei Wuxian, chaotic necromancer bisaster, you'll always be famous <33

3) Nirvana in Fire: What can I even say about NiF? It's my favorite tv series ever. So masterfully written and done. Chronically ill scheming genius man back from the dead to achieve his goals and to get revenge? It's a masterpiece everyone definitely should watch. A fair warning tho, first few episodes may seem slow and confusing.

4) Heaven Official's Blessing: Unfortunately only its first season is out but even then, i would be lying if i i say it isn't one of my favorite series ever. Mostly because the books are my favorite but also it has beautiful animation that conveys the emotions so well.

5) Black Sails: I'm currently watching it and let me tell you, I'm hyperfixated on this show, the only reason you do not see me reblogging gifs it's bc i avoid spoilers. When i finish it, it's over for y'all

6) Andor: best star wars tv series to this day, made me so emotional

7) Flower of Evil: God... The suspense and the twists in this drama. The trauma... The feelings... The love...*Cries*

8) Avatar The Last Airbender: One of my favorite shows since i was a kid

9) Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood: I don't think there's anything to say about this. If you haven't watched it go watch it. FUCK YEAH

[fyregrl]

Pass the happy! When you receive this list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications 😙✨

My dog

Drawing

Rainstorms

Turtles

My best friend

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to copy-paste this into their ask boxes or tag them so I'mma just tag them so to the last ten people in my notifications get ready but no pressure @bisaster-human @trans-hunter @jellyfishinajamjar @squishyhooman @girl-boy-gender @spicyhotnoodlez @bex19974 @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @jadoue1999 @try-cry-why-try

[topsyturvy-turtely]

I posted 3,154 times in 2022

That's 3,090 more posts than 2021!

141 posts created (4%)

3,013 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@helloliriels

@loki-lock

@safedistancefrombeingsmart

@justanobsessedpan

@musingsofmyown

I tagged 2,195 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#johnlock - 611 posts

#bbc sherlock - 453 posts

#sherlock - 428 posts

#john watson - 366 posts

#sherlock holmes - 295 posts

#sherlock x john - 169 posts

#johnlock fanart - 151 posts

#martin freeman - 135 posts

#sherlock fanart - 135 posts

#benedict cumberbatch - 125 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#am i funny? cringy? funny but in a cringe way? yeah probably funny cringy way... nah probably just cringy... in any case:

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

okay so we all want BBC SHERLOCK S5 right???

and imho it needs to involve:

- A JOHNLOCK KISS!!!! (one that ~actually~ happens irl and not just in the mind palace or the like...)

-HUDDERS NOT BEING DEAD (seriously she is the soul of johnlock and she deserves better than to die. let her go on vacation or something... saw that post a few days ago)

-AND HARRY WATSON PRETTY PLEASE!!! (in a happy way. where john and her rebuild their relationship. also... maaaayyybbee bcs i'm a tiny bit in love with her)

-MORE (happy!) JOHNLOCK

154 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#4

how john watson found his heart again

[sequel to how john watson lost his heart ]

it's been two years since i've lost my heart.

two years of grief. two years of being lost. two years of darkness.

but it's okay, i've found her. she gave me a new heart.

it's not the same as my own but it does its job: it gave me life. it keeps me alive.

but suddenly you are back.

short version: not dead.

and you present me my long lost heart on a serving tray.

with your fake glasses, your fake mustache, your fake accent.

but my real heart.

right there in front of me.

abruptly i stand up. trying to hold back my anger.

alright. john. i'm suddenly realizing that i probably owe you some sort of an apology-

fist against the table.

two years.

keep it together, watson, i tell myself.

two years.

but how can i?

when the only reason to live is right there in front of me.

when the one reason i almost died myself was right there in front of me.

i thought-

not in the restaurant, watson.

i thought you were dead.

i died too that day. i have lost my heart that day. the day you died.

now you let me grieve...

i grieved for you, i grieved for my heart.

how could you do that?

HOW?!

See the full post

182 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

"JOHNLOCKed in a Closet"

- now on Ao3!!!

[cover art by @topsyturvy-turtely DO NOT REPOST]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M, F/F

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson; Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade; Harry Watson/Original Female Character; Sherlock Holmes & Mrs. Hudson & John Watson; Harry Watson & John Watson; Sherlock Holmes & Greg Lestrade

Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson (Sherlock Holmes), Mycroft Holmes, Greg Lestrade, Harry Watson, Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Fluff, Mrs. Hudson Ships It, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Johnlock - Freeform, Locked In, Trapped In A Closet, John is a Mess, John The Bisaster, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Harry the gay advisor, Confused John, Soft Sherlock, Sassy John, Shy Sherlock, References to Canon, Case Fic, okay mostly it's fluff but anygays..., STILL THERE IS A CASE

Summary: Mrs. Hudson is done. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are just two silly little lovebirds who need to be locked together in a room until they can finally admit their feelings for each other! So this is EXACTLY what she does. And what room could be more fitting than a closet...?

Chapters: 15/15 (plus a dedication)

Originally published on Wattpad with the username "turtely". (21,6K views, 817 votes, 5K comments - status August 30th 2022)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40776522?view_full_work=true

204 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#2

He really just needed a kiss...

John hated it. He utterly and truly hated it. He despised himself for it. It was going on his nerves. In fact it annoyed the fucking SHIT out of him.

That stupid, always present, torturing urge to be kissed.

It was plain out ridiculous. But he couldn't help it. He wanted- needed that kind of body contact. Where one was taller, the other smaller. Where one was the bold and made the decisive move. Where your heart stops and your breath catches and-

John put the tea pot down with too much force so the china chinked. He grabbed the newspaper off the table with an emphasis that really wasn't necessary and he walked over to his armchair with a frown on his face and heaviness in his steps.

He dropped into the chair and scowled at the news. He felt like a teenager, which dropped his mood even more.

"You're annoyed.", his flatmate Sherlock, eyes closed hands steepled under his chin, his legs half up half down, stated. And it made John even more grumpy. Because look at this arsehole! With his damn hair and annoying face and stupid athletic body he wouldn't struggle AT ALL finding someone to kiss him. Not that he would care for such mundane things.

"Yes.", there was no point in denying it, John decided but hid his face behind the newspaper again.

"Why?"

Behind the safety of the newspaper John rolled his eyes. "I just am."

Sherlock opened his eyes and leaned forward, "That's ridiculous every human emotion has its origin in a deeper-"

"Oh for fuck's sake. You of all people lecturing me about human emotions is really not a to-do-thing for today, okay?!"

Sherlock sat up and John - even behind the paper - felt his studying gaze on him and the irritation inside him flamed up even more. "Stop staring.", he grumbled

Sherlock tilted his head - eyes still fixed on his flatmate. He leaned forward, pushing the newspaper down and the sudden proximity made John uneasy.

"Ever heard of personal space?"

"Of course.", Sherlock said and invaded John's.

"Then why are you in mine?"

"Because you want it."

"I want- what?"

"You wanna be close to someone.", Sherlock said, both hands on either side of his armchair now.

"No", John awkwardly fixed his sitting position. "I think I am good. Go back to your seat, Sherlo-"

But then Sherlock's lips were on his and John froze. It was just a hint of a kiss. It was nothing really. He could back off and then they could just-

He put his hand on the back of Sherlock's neck and his hand barely touched his side. He hesitantly kissed him back and then Sherlock's lips pecked John's lightly. Sherlock opened his mouth and John sucked on the other man's lower lip. John (or more his libido) decided he'd go a bit further and used his teeth to tease. When Sherlock gasped, John pulled back quickly.

"Oh. Wow. I didn't- didn't expect to happen.", he said, Sherlock still hovering above him. His eyes were fluttering open and then stared into John's. There was something in his gaze that made John wanna hug him tight.

Sherlock straightened up and fixed his perfectly cuffed cuffs on his shirt. That heated look was completely gone. There was no evidence of what had just happened, except ,maybe, that John's trousers were a tad bit tighter than before.

Still uselessly fumbling with his cuffs (with elegant, slim fingers), Sherlock finally looked up. And with his look came a wall, being built brick by brick between them. "You needed stimulation. I gave you that. I hope you feel better now.", Sherlock said matter-of-factly, finally letting his cuffs alone, rolling his shoulders once. With four long strides he was at the hook with his belstaff, put it on with one swift movement and opened the door. "I'll be out. No need to wait up."

And John was being left behind. Completely stunned. He still felt lips on his own, still felt breath creeping over his jaw, still saw a heated look that John felt like had burnt him.

With a deep breath he heaved himself up, the newspaper forgotten on John's lap, flew to the floor. John needed tea. While the water boiled, John thought about what Sherlock had said. That he had offered him stimulation and that he hoped John felt better now. And he did, definitely, feel better but there was a tuck inside him that made him frown.

See the full post

256 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sherlock: I KNOW!!!

john: you know what?

sherlock: i know what the H stands for!

john: *pinching the bridge of his nose* sherlock can you just dro-

sherlock: john hedgehog watson

john: ...

sherlock: ... :)

398 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Was tagged to do this by the amazing @killerspinal. Thank you friend!! ❤ ❤

Favorite Color: Dark purple/blue

Currently Watching: The Bear and Lessons in Chemistry. Also rewatching Merlin and Modern Family

Last Movie/TV Show: Had on some Modern Family in the background while I did chores. Last movie was a rewatch of Devil Wears Prada. I'm rewatching a lot lately idk

Spicy/Savory/Sweet: Can I say all?

Current Obsession: Am still super into Breath of the Wild, though I'm feeling now like I want to take a bit of a break since I kinda wanna play some new stuff

Last Thing I Googled: the word frijoles cause I wanted to know what it meant

I'm tagging: @merlination, @cheshyre513, @dangerliesbeforeyou, @mari--lace, @bisaster-energy, @jammy-boy and @cove-holdens

[amypihcs]

HELLOOOO beautiful humans! The end of this beautiful story is here! They are in Milverton's study and

Well, Watson has a long serie of 'I told you so's to tell Holmes.

And the fact that Milverton doesn't seem to want to leave quickly gives Watson EVEN MORE REASONS. Why ever is this man awake, DAMNIT! Oh HOLMES... -squeeze hand back-

Well. Watson is a man. And he has a PLAN. The plan concludes himself in a bonk over the head to Milverton. PLEASE, he's been wanting to do it since Baker Street! Let him bonk Milverton over the head! He deserves it!

You guys don't get it! He's LITERALLY PRAYING!

On to the development!

Uhm, checking on the watch, eh? OH SOMEONE'S KNOCKING! Who could it be?

aaaah! gallant company! doubt she's a lover of sorts toh! (ALSO, these suckers waited for half an hour! I would've died already!)

WATSON! Watson, is this the time? BACK TO FOCUS, C'MON.

DAAAAMN he's being a really bistinguished bisaster today uh? Watson! Back to focus! Apparently she's no lover, but a victim. And i'm enjoying scared Milverton A LOT.

Go on girl! Tell him it all!

WAHOO! Get him, my lass! Godo come un riccio, aiuto. GODO COME UN RICCIO.

She did WELL.

AND HOLMES AGREES W- WATSON!! Could you PLEASE focus on the task on hand? No, damn, wrong word, on the TASK, not on the HAND! Ah, whatever. A lost cause, that man.

Now to YOUR OWN tasks

Man on fire playing in background as Holmes burns the letters! So good. Now, let's go back home! RUN! CORRI, SCAPPA C'È IL NEMESIS!!

AND OF COURSE the man who doesn't exercise at all just does parkour just so causally. Man's a parkourer, we KNOW it. He invented one century early. Running until they're out of breath and adrenaline!

-PANT- WE DID IT WATSON!! -brief kiss-

Flash forward to next morning, Holmes WILL have a proper breakfast, Watson will see to it

AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER If Lestrade hadn't hopped by!

NO WAIT.

Man's offering Holmes the case??

LOOOOL, LOVE THIS.

Holmes. HOLMES YOU'LL KILL WATSON THIS WAY!! Watson in background is just sweating, trying not to faint, and hoping Holmes WOULD JUST SHUT UP!

Holmes meanwhile is having too much fun.

And refusing the case, clearly.

Also since... he is ON ONE ALREADY

Trying to remember our charming murderess is... AAAnd he got her! COME WATSON! Holmes, couldn't we just finish lu- PICK YOUR HAT AND COME! -already sprinting down the stairs-

And yes. He got our misterious woman.

The next story will be my favourite one! Also my favourite granada episode, so YAHOO!

STAY TUNED FOR SIX NAPOLEONS!

[lix-ables]

shshsh I'm craving hugs so badly cuddles rn sounds real nice :( I'm...well my satan's waterfall visited so welp 😵‍💫 on the bright hand though I tried my hand at writing and posted a skz drabble on my blog ^_^ (also besides the point but thirsting over hyunlix as usual)

how's you doing tho bb

- bisaster 🥟

nawee c'mere omg :(( lemme give you so many cuddles 🤍 i hope you get enough rest today my love ‹3 and omg how'd the writing goooo? and please, lemme join you in thirsting over em ( along with lino cause that man is just sigh ) omg im doing okay!! just found out im the only one staying back after 1pm tomorrow for a french class till 4 😔✊🏽

[connecticutsuperhell]

I posted 866 times in 2022

That's 20 more posts than 2021!

1 post created (0%)

865 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spongebobssquarepants

@yupokaysuremhm

@mushroom-soup-is-my-religion

@slaying-absolute-penis

@sasmeo-bisaster

I tagged 16 of my posts in 2022

#stfu - 2 posts

#he gets it - 1 post

#mcytblr - 1 post

#this is so good!!! - 1 post

#hes so - 1 post

#/pos - 1 post

#like 😍😍😍😍 - 1 post

#the north saskatchewan - 1 post

#yessss - 1 post

#ao3 - 1 post

Longest Tag: 79 characters

#like i cant imagine having to explain this one to anyone who knows i watch dsmp

My Top Posts in 2022:

so I'm rewatching the sky block videos, and I was on the one with becoming super fast (the fastest man in skyblock), and I get to the end card, and I looked away, then looked back to the screen, where it had "do it" on it.

I've been making "for you, the world" jokes for the last two weeks about anyone and anything, so I say "for you techno, the world" to make myself feel slightly better, close my eyes, then open them to see the words on screen are now "bro" followed by "why are you like this" when I say I started cackling 😂 (ofc while crying, though I thought ariana said we're supposed to run out of tears eventually, smhmh)

even years later and after he's passed, this man is still making me laugh in new ways.

there really won't be another like him.

rest easy, king. ❤️❤️

20 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →