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#I'm also afraid to tag this as anything
natashadewinter · 3 months
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akechis your asuka
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damnation-if · 8 days
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hey!! can i ask for a color palatte description for the ro's? like what their hair/eye colors are?
hope you're having a good week 💙💙💙
Hi!
I spent a long time putting together a graphic for this before I realised that you asked for just a description haha... oops. well. here is the graphic anyway XD
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If you're looking for a link to the page with more general descriptions, there are some on the RO's page.
Very sorry for the delay in replying! My life is. hectic. smdnfgbsfgf
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lucalicatteart · 4 months
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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ineed-to-sleep · 9 months
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I'm watching Berserk and I may or may not have hyped myself up to turn my vampire ocs into dark fantasy characters. mmaybe
#sketch tag#so uh. pepper is kind of a guts basically jdjgkckkc#they're both in an army and they butt heads a lot bc pepper is big and stronk but very impulsive and reckless#but there's no griffith situation or anything like that it's just that vince worries abt her#and he's way more restrained as a fighter and a strategist. maybe a commander or second in command#and just like in vtm he's very paranoid and afraid of change. so he worries abt her and is also unhappy in the army but too scared to leave#so he broods a lot and mopes around and gets on her ass abt her recklessness#and just like in vtm pepper is impulsive and has a lot of pent up frustration and she uses the battlefield to release all of it#sometimes overexerting herself and nearly getting herself killed#she also wants to leave bc she's not sure she believes in what they're fighting for anymore. but then she loses her coping mechanism#things change when they have an argument where he reveals he cares abt her sjfjjfkf YES very cliche I am thriving#and she's dismissive at first but after being alone for a bit his words start sinking in#and when they're on a battlefield again there's a moment where they have to retreat and she's about to absolutely not listen to that#but then she has a change of heart bc she remembers what he said + she cares abt him too so she doesn't want him to be hurt by her actions#neither by him getting worried nor trying to come to her aid and putting his life at risk#so she retreats#and he's very happy abt that he thanks her later for what she did#and then she's like yeah sure I guess I didn't die but also guess what. I'm bored#everything she wanted to release back there she just didn't. so she's still frustrated and especially bc she had to admit defeat#and she's an extremely proud person. she's irritated#and he's like aight. I'm gonna fight you then#and she's like what. and he's like yeah#so he picks up a sword and throws another one to her and there's a *sexual tension play-fight* hell yeah babey#I'm having sm fun w this au can you tell jejfjckckkc#eventually they do desert the army they're in bc things get worse and pepper decides she no longer wants to be a part of it#and in a fight or flight moment she pushes vincent to make a decision and he leaves with her#and like the story is only getting started there bc then there'll be some big misteries in the story they're gonna uncover#which. I haven't figured out what they are yet#but either way akhhdskfha I'm having a lot of fun w this#sleep.txt
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goldkirk · 4 months
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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koushuwu · 1 year
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"Please save everyone. Our crybaby hero!"
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transgeoffrickly · 23 days
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what's your ao3?
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lisbonsteresa · 1 year
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they make me so
#tm#the way she immediately goes along with him there's no hesitation and then she immediately puts them in the same boat i want to scream#because there's a way to read this that it's actually too much faith; she trusts him and his methods - weird though they usually are -#maybe too much - the 'one day i'm gonna get fired because of you; that's just how it is' route#(which is like that excellent tag i saw - that lisbon's 'a rebel with the trauma of having to be responsible' -#like she likes breaking the rules and jane breaks them in fun ways (usually) and his rule-breaking gets results#- the 'people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place' bit alsosheskindofinlovewithhimnbd)#but on the other hand there is a bit of 'such little faith' too because yes he gets results but she knows firsthand (and repeatedly)#that he runs the risk of hurting - himself; others; her - while he gets those results#and she's putting them in the same boat she's making them equally responsible for anything that happens#*unequally actually she'd take the brunt of any punishment/backlash as they both know#and you COULD (and i do) see that as her trying (maybe unconsciously) to temper him; to pull him back from going TOO far#whatever you're doing you're not doing alone; remember this is on me now too don't go too far#CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU; WHO NEED YOU#and like does the tempering always work? no; obviously; for multiple reasons#but for her to - on whatever level - think that she would be enough FOR it to work? much to think about#(it's crazy how it's so clear that on some level they both know she's the most important person to him#but they're also just....tucking that fact away until a moment comes when they can actually think fully about what it means#(which would have to be post red john but also they're just avoidant bitches too afraid to look too close i love it)#anyway i'm back at work so i'm back to thinking too much about tv shows that ended 8 years ago it's so cool and stable#(also rigsby just going along with it too lkfasdj i just adore them)#FUCK THE END OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK I FEEL CRAZY#TERESA LISBON YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME LIKE SHIT
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sakura-nyah · 1 year
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Hi Nyah! Hope ur doing well <3 Here's a request since I haven't asked in a while! Can you write HCs for Kaz reassuring his S/O who is afraid of him leaving/feels kinda unlovable? Sorry if it's angsty, my mental health has been iffy lately and I could use a bit of comfort, hehe..Hope you had a good trip btw! ^_^ -🌱
I don't mind the angst at all, 🌱Kaz Anon! I'm happy to write this for you! My mind was going crazy with things to think about during this!
Do take care of yourself tho, 🌱Kaz Anon if possible. I understand the feeling of mental health being iffy and what I do to fix it is mainly listen to music. Its my best way of helping me feel better with anything. Of course, don't listen to sad music if you're sad! That can be bad on yourself! But if needed, I'm here for you. You can message me any time! Yet if you're uncomfortable with that, you can send me Anon asks just venting about your problems. Of course, I would not post them. I'd delete the asks after reading them since its all personal things!
The Headcanons are under the Read More <3!! This got a tad bit long but hopefully they're to your liking! If not, just tell me and I'll redo the Headcanons! I don't mind at all!
Kazuichi Soda reassuring his S/O who is afraid of him leaving and feels is unlovable.
✿ When your feelings appeared to you about your fear, it didn't take Kazuichi long at all to notice something was troubling you. Even if you had your feelings hidden so well to the point even you eventually forgot about them, Kazuichi would still have sensed something because he's so in tune with everything about you.
✿ He'll talk to you right away. He's worried about what is wrong and what is causing it. He wants you feeling your best and this boy will do anything in his power to make you feel your best.
✿ Now, even though he will talk to you right away, he'll actually lead a conversation into the direction of talking about what's troubling you. Instantly talking to you about your troubles could catch you off guard and make you panic. He doesn't want that at all.
✿ Kazuichi will sit down with you, lay down with you, whatever you're most comfortable with, and stay silent for a few moments. He's making sure you're comfortable before he begins the conversation. His voice is so gentle as he speaks.
✿ "I wanted to ask, how have you been feeling?"
✿ I said he was in tune with everything about you but at this moment, somehow his senses have never been so alert. He's worried about triggering you.
✿ He'll wait for your response. Nothing in the world matters right now except for you. However long you take, he'll wait. He will, however, throw in some more words as a hopeful comfort while he waits for your response.
✿ "If you ever felt sad or anything, you could tell me, ya know? I care about you and knowing there's a chance you're hurting, it makes me feel bad. I want to help. When we fell in love, I promised myself to always help you. That includes everything.. Why?"
✿ He originally was waiting for you to answer but hes on a roll now that he wants to finish. Something in him knew this is what you needed to hear.
✿ He hopes his voice carries the passion he has for you.
✿ "Because I love you."
✿ Kazuichi never sounded so serious about any statement he has ever made to you or to anyone. He looked at you. If you looked back and into his eyes, you could see the love in them.
✿ "A couple is called a couple because it means two, right? We're a couple. You can't have one without the other. We're in this together."
✿ He's holding your hand now. His grasp is gentle but strong. If you don't like to be touched, this one time he will step over that boundary. Not because he is trying to make you uncomfortable or hurt you, but because his touch will hopefully show his love to you.
✿ "I'm with you with any pain you could have. Happy pain, sad pain, angry pain. I'm with you because I love you. Like what people say! I love you to the moon and back!"
✿ He's smiling now, trying to hold back a laugh.
✿ "But my moon is so far away that you can't even see it!"
✿ His face softens and his voice becomes a whisper, only for you to hear. Theres no one else around at this moment but still, his words right now are for you only.
✿ "I love you, Y/N."
✿ He didn't know how you felt, yet he still said these words. He said them because he knew being as truthful as possible (even tho he wouldn't lie to you, unless he was doing something such as holding a surprise birthday party for you) is what is best. You're not in the best of states and so he's giving you his rawest emotions and words.
✿ If you end up shaking, crying, doing both, or something else because your emotions are coming forward, if you let him, his arms are around you in an instant. His hold will be strong but not hurtful. He will be your wall. Right now, nothing will get to you as you're in his arms. Nothing can overpower Kazuichi when he's holding you. This time, if you prefer to not be touched he'll let your hand go and speak instead, saying small words such as "You're alright. You're alright. I'm not leaving. Let it out."
✿ Hopefully you'll talk to him about how you were feeling and what was troubling you. He's happy that you're opening up to him. He's proud of you. So proud. He'll actually remind you randomly how proud he is for you opening up to him. He'll also remind you how much he loves you. He'll do this for days and days and days.
✿ What he said were words of true love and emotion. You didn't even have to say anything and his first thoughts were to remind you how loved you were. He can't leave you. You're the other 1 to his 1+1 =2. You're the other half to his couple. You put color and light into his life. You put an emotion in him that's stronger than happiness. Nothing can ever top it. Nothing will ever be better. Nothing will ever change his love for you. Nothing.
✿ Because of the feelings you had, Kazuichi has decided with himself to have a daily and nightly check up with you and how you're feeling, physically and emotionally (He once said "That's rad!" when you told him you were feeling good and now it stuck. He's saying rad at everything.). He'll be there for you for however long as you need, whenever you need, about whatever is troubling you. The love he has for you is just...its incredible. Its so beautiful. People say perfect doesn't exist but try telling him that and he will argue forever on why that's false and that there's someone in his life to prove that perfect does exist.
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mcl-mia · 7 months
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//zeus week day 6 - offering
to offer one's body and soul - is that not the highest form of loyalty?
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littleragondin · 11 months
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Thai BL Favorite List
I have been tagged by @troubled-mind thank you so much!
Credit to @thatgirl4815 for the original.
Favorite Thai BL:
Until We Meet Again. I have seen my fair share of BL now, especially Thai, but somehow, I always come back to this one. I think it just packs up SO many things I love. Soulmates, sure, but also great friendships, two very different romantic dynamics I both really enjoy, tragedy but with the hope and reassurance that things actually do get better, and maybe most of all incredible family and siblings’ history and relationships. I love the story, the way it’s told and the time it takes to weave itself, I love the characters and the cast, how it looks and the music. I have seen it a few times now and it still has the same grip on my heart than when I first watched it week after week when it came out.
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Favorite Pairing:
While I don’t really like the concept of fixed pairing (let actors mix up! Surprise me! Make me fall in love with improbable pairs!), I’d lie if I say there are no actor duo I really enjoy seeing together so. I will say that I am very fond of and happy to get to see JamFilm again and will 100% track whatever they do together after that if it ever happens.
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And there is something I find especially adorable in JoongDunk, I have to say (don’t ask me to explain, just cute).
Most underrated actor:
I pondered over that one for a long time, as there are many actors I’d love to see more recognized and all. But I will go with Big Thanakorn. I greatly enjoyed him in everything I have seen him in, and at this point I really would like a nice main role for him (where he f i n a l l y get the goddamn boy please and thank you).
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(*whispers* also please look at him)
Favorite Character:
Just… just one? Do you also want me to pick a single child to save? CRUEL. PITILESS. (ಡ‸ಡ)
Okay, okay, OKAY. Probably the hardest one of the whole bunch because my heart is huge and houses many m a n y characters whom I love dearly. But I think if I had to pick only one, I would go with In Chatpokin from UWMA. He is so bright and so brave, he loves so much and so sincerely, and he is so tragically young. He's flawed, in the way humans and young people are, but he's just.. he feels like someone I would also love in real life, and I do think he is fantastic as a character. So, yeah, I'd pick In.
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 Favorite Side Character:
Once again after long deliberation etc etc... I will go with Rit from Triage. I was so incredibly invested in his survival and happiness it was borderline ridiculous. He was sweet and tragic and deserved so much better than the cards he had been handed at the start! I could have handled any end where he was doing ok that's how much i loved him (tho to be fair all the secondary characters in that show were great). Could not find a gif so have a still for him!
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Favorite Scene in a BL:
That one is subject to change as often as the weather because I am a fickle beast, but brain provided the 'morning after' scene from Ghost Host, Ghost House. The quiet normalcy of it, the way they laugh and smile at each other, I really adored that scene.
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Favorite Line in a BL:
I have a terrible memory and I can't really remember a lot of exact lines from the BL I have seen. EXCEPT I actually know a lot of lines from "To Sir, With Love" which must means something (it means i have khun chai brain rot, mainly) so that's where my pick will come from. And I think, both because of what it says about the character and his struggles and desires, and the way it is delivered (which always breaks my heart) it has to be:
"So my mother had to keep the secret that I like men. If everyone knows, the Song family will be ruined because of me. I don’t want to be the head of the association. I never wanted to. I just want to be me."
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(not the scene I'm quoting but the emotion is The SameTM)
Most Anticipated BL (and why):
Right now I think it has to be a tie between I Feel You Linger in the Air (time travel! Costume drama! Pain! Women in love! Also excited to see more of Nonkul whose cameo in “Oh No! Here Comes Trouble” I really enjoyed)
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and The Whisperer (horror! Fluke with long hair! Murder and mystery! Blood! Horror again! Did I mention Fluke with long hair?!).
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Healthiest Relationship in BL:
We are getting more and more of those, aren't we? Making the choice more difficult but for once, a nice problem to have I'd say. I have seen some excellent choices but I think I will go with all the relationships in Secret Crush on You. Intouch and Daisy are OBVIOUS in how respectful and adorable they are, SkyJao make an excellent show of being respectful of your partner's desires and boundaries as well as the importance of being open about your vulnerability, and even TohNueah ok? Yes, yes they both are SUPER weird and borderline (to straight up) creepy BUT they learn to talk it out and to compromise so they can harmonize their weirdness into something that is respectful of the other. I'll pick the rainbow babies.
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Most Toxic Relationship in BL:
I mean, I saw TT so … But ignoring this one, my mind immediately went to Mork/Pi from FUTS. As much as I wanted to like it, I just think that between the manipulation and the way it always follow the 'Mork insists it's best and Pi yields despite his objections and discomfort' formula, this is a recipe for disaster. (also I love Pi SO DAMN MUCH and I just want to pluck him out of there)
Guilty Pleasure Series:
I try to not feel guilty about things I enjoy, especially not on there. But if it's something I would not necessarily recommend when I want to look like I have refined tastes... I'd pick Rakdiao I think. It's a sitcom with all the genre imply from the humor to the taped laughs and over played reactions but I loved it! It's super silly and the characters are a bit cartoonish, but it's pretty and fun and when it picks up the relationship between Rak and Diao is actually really nice. And there are some genuine moments of really well acted emotions that I love replaying (Rak's realization that he loved Diao? ART)
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Most Underrated Series:
So many of them! I’m so happy to see “He’s Coming to Me” second rising because it’s deserved, I do hope Suar’s success in La Pluie will lead people to give “You’re My Sky” a chance (because it’s great and so so SO pretty), and I hope people will watch “To Sir, with love” for more JamFilm post Laws of Attraction. But for this one I will pick two other shows (I know I know) that I feel deserve to have more people give it a chance (and that will feed into my ‘a sad story is not a bad story’ agenda).
First is “The Miracle of Teddy Bear”. It took me some time before I started this one because the echo I heard about it were so negative it kind of turned me off. And I think it’s a tragedy! Not only because I loved it (which I obviously did), but also because it has an extremely talented cast, it had so much to say about so many important things, while being very honest all along about the story it was telling. I think it’s underappreciated mostly because people wanted another story told (I know some people said the ending came out of nowhere and like… I could not disagree harder! It was the natural conclusion to that story!) and because I think Nut is an incredibly misunderstood character (I loved him beyond words, and he made me think so much of when @bengiyo said “y’all don’t like gay men when we’re not pretty, funny, sexy, or entertaining” because yes, most of the time he really is none of those things, he’s hurt and angry and he has ugly reactions and MAN I felt SO much for him). I mean sure, be aware that it’s not just a fluffy comedy before you get into it, and it has its flaws too, but I think it told a beautiful story that had a lot of heart in it – and for that it does deserve more chance, and if you were toying with the idea of watching this one, consider this your sign to actually try it!  
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Second, I will say “Something in My Room”. I really enjoyed that one, not only because I have a soft spot for ghosts (tho if you follow me, you know I do), but because I thought it had a pretty solid story in there, and once again it’s a story that stayed true to what it was telling. It’s necessary to watch the uncut version (the cut one is apparently taking off huge plot-central moments), but I think it deserved more attention than it got. The cast is really good once again, it has a lot of fantastic and complex female characters, I think Nut Supanut was an absolute DELIGHT in this one (with an adorable smile), and while it sometimes wavers a little on some of the things it touches upon, generally speaking it was a solid little show (I especially liked the theater show, and everything with Big’s character alien metaphor). (also it has Big in glasses and that HAS to count for something)
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+BONUS
Favorite Setting/Location:
Look, listen, listen. Give me an aquarium, ok? You can NEVER go wrong with an aquarium, there is something about the light in those either it’s blue, green, or slightly purple, about the overwhelming immensity of all that water while you’re safe behind the glass, about the pretty fishes… I do adore an aquarium. Peak romance peak colors peak location.
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I know most everyone has done it, and I may tag people who already answered (if so please forgive me) but maybe @petrichoraline @benkaaoi, @silverquillsideas @nonkul and @heretherebedork if you felt like it?
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electricfied-wolf · 1 year
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Thinks.....should probably make a new pinned post lol (this is that)
~Welcome to my blog folks!~
My name is Wolf!
My pronouns are already at the top of my blog, but in case you didn't see them, I use she/they but heavily prefer they/them.
Also already at the top of this blog, but my main is actually @itsorcatime, which means any likes/messages/comments coming from there are coming from me
Be aware that I am a minor! (above 13 but still a minor)
This blog used to be for a old crossover thing but I beg of u do not go hunting for the old posts (Someone reblogged one of them and I'm dying over it ijosdfjiosdf) bc I'm redoing that thing anyways and I feel like I fudged things up with the old one. Now this blog is for whatever interest I'm fuckin' w/ atm that I don't already have a sideblog for.
I'm autistic and a little bit anxious, so please be patient with me if we're interacting for the first time bc sometimes my social skills leave many things to be desired.
I'm ALWAYS open for asks! If you want to ask about any aus/ocs I posted about or just other general things I don't mind it! I love seeing the silly number on my inbox!
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highlifeboat · 1 year
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No thoughts only under appreciated OC Elizabeta
#actually i do have one thoght but it's not about them but i'mma ramble in the tags anyway#so i was thinking about max and his love of arachnids/spiders#and like#he probably wouldn't be able to make daniela un-afraid of them#BUT i think he could convince her that they really aren't a huge threat and that they don't have to be killed and she could probably#even hold one and it wouldn't do anything since 90% of the time she's in human form anyway#but also him being like ''I really like arachnids I think they're cute and amazing and they're so interesting let me go on a big info#info dump and tell you all about them" and just seeing him really passionate about something makes dani's heart melt#because max never does this stuff#he never rambles or goes off on huge passiionate tangents like that#it's usually HER rabling to HIM#and he's so genuinely happy while he talks about them and it's like#She's just never really seem him like that and even if spiders are a big part of it that doesn't matter#because ''holy shit he's smiling and he's talking so much and by miranda he's fucking cute''#anyway i forget what my point was but yeah i think max should ramble to daniela about arachnids cause no one else'll listen to him anyway#this tag rant would have been way more suited under a daximus post but i didn't have any art and if i didn't write it now i was gonna#gonna forget *wheeze*#if anyone takes the time to read my sleep deprived rambles about maximus n spooders thanks lmao i'm going to be now#my art#oc elizabeta#oc max#daximus#tag ramble#re 8 oc
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tunedtostatic · 10 months
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To be clear the only concern was "not spamming other people by using the main tags," not "oh I hope no one sees this," and it simply did not occur to me that with a show as big as critrole people might actually follow the abbreviated tags. I assume cr2 is not a tag you do follow if you mind the spammy liveblog experience, so honestly the original "I'll keep this out of character tags to Not Spam" is probably not at issue here and I will proceed apace! good to know though.
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hyuck-xix · 1 year
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(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥
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v-iv-rusty · 11 months
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I feel like growing up with parents that are rabid conspiracy theorists about anything and everything affects you like. way way way deeper than most people do (or maybe want to?) acknowledge. and I just wish it was talked about more honestly
#misc.txt#ventish#(<-not too bad just tagging for blocking purposes)#like. this is embarassing to say but my parents were and still are severely anti vax. so at some point I need to go get#proper rounds of vaccines#bc obv I was not fucking allowed to#preferrably uh. fucking soon if I can work out how to do it without them knowing#(and if I can't I guess. I'll have to figure out some health insurance stuff bc I could literally be in danger if they did know.)#(which is a whole can of worms on its own.)#and EVEN THOUGH I fully 100% know that everything they fed me was bullshit#I still have so much deep fear around it bc it was drilled into my head so fucking hard growing up#x will kill you. y will make you sick. z will probably damn you to hell forever but maybe not who knows better to be scared and 'safe.' etc#and it's so hard to even explain it to ppl because they go 'oh so you still believe that stuff' and no!! no I do not!!#Ive just been trained since birth to be afraid of anything n everything!! I've been fed lies for my entire life!! thats hard to shake off!!#I WANT to do good things for myself but my stomach drops on instinct just thinking about it#and I am so so so tired of having to be brave about things I never should have had to be brave about. that's all ig. I'm tired.#like either ppl think you have also inherited their insanity OR they just look at it like 'oh haha funny quirky kooky'#no it's kind of torn my psyche to shreds in ways I'm still uncovering. but w/e go ahead and laugh <3
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