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#I'm regretting it so hard right now
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Maybe taking summer classes wasn't such a girl boss move 🫤
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forcebookish · 24 days
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i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.
#rum.txt#i have to do something about my phone...........#i might be able to uninstall tumblr#i can't uninstall twitter because the stupid fucking thing turns off notifications when you do#so i wouldn't be able to catch up on the accs i have notifs on for#(a very small list of forcebook- and kaibaek-related accs)#i can't uninstall instagram because of forcebook again lol#i also use it for recipes sigh#but i might start just... leaving it in my room when i get up and see how that goes#i'd also have to try to not look at my phone first thing in the morning#i also have to start actually getting up in the morning#i think that's the main thing#ok maybe when i take my medication in the evening i start getting ready for bed#it'll take long enough that it'll probably still be late but reasonable late#and not like. almost 3 am like now#one of the problems with my room right now is that i have a lot of STUFF#and i'm afraid of getting rid of the STUFF#because the last time i got rid of a bunch of STUFF#(mostly clothes)#i totally regretted most of it and i'm still like ah shit i don't have that anymore? :(#but also i have a big bed that i just want OUT of there#and a huge wardrobe that unfortunately holds a lot of the STUFF#so i don't know where all the STUFF would go#and every job i apply to sucks#and every job i actually want is TERRIFYING in both its unattainability and the miniscule possibility of its improbable successful executio#so i'm like stressed out about a thing that hasn't happened to make something that hasn't happened that i'm also stressed out about#every possible scenario whether i want it or not feels like it could lead to a meltdown because everything is so god damn hard right now#AND I FEEL SO!!!!!! SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and the worst part is that i know all this is because my stupid fucking period is coming up#but just because my hormones are making me feel overwhelmed and melodramatic about everything doesn't make anything i've said untrue
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babykittenteach · 9 months
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2023 in review! I made an effort to try more things and it worked mostly (at least for TV and movies). New things, new-to-me things, and new installments of old things all had characters to love even if I didn't necessarily feel fannish about them, and I'm hoping 2024 does, too.
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plulp · 1 year
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HIIII everybody good morning ❤️ i now have 50 followers (more than 50 now) and i hope that i don't get any more or else i'll have to block everyone (just kidding. i wouldn't do that.)
but now that we're all here if you have a dol pc you want me to draw PLEASE send it to me through asks i'll try to draw as many as i physically can because i think it's funny and i'm going to regret this later
just send in:
- your pc (IMAGE!!!)
- info about them maybe? (i want to know everyone in detail. i love you all. let's all get married)
- and you can ask for a dol character too if you want (my designs because i literally do not know anyone else's i'm sorry i don't look at fan art often anymore but if you have a specific design i can do that too)
and that's it!!
thank you all so much for being so kind to me and i appreciate it a lot :) everything means a lot to me and i'm glad you all like my art
if you don't want to see these asks please block the tag #spulpal <- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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amitykinz · 1 month
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ssamja-trash · 2 years
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i need this kyuhyun...
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...to call me into his office and [redacted]
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kraro-school-life · 4 months
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I said I was locking in... I did not specify on what
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neriyon · 6 months
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∙ Basics ∙
Name: Hawu'li Puu Nickname(s): No one's really came up with anything (me included) Age: 23 Nameday: 17th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon (17.8) Race: Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te Gender: Male Orientation: Gayyyy Profession: Warrior of Light / travelling healer
∙ Physical Aspects ∙
Hair: Lavender purple and pretty fluffy. The turquoise part of his bangs is dyed, and needs to be redone regularily. Eyes: Bright yellow Skin: White with pink undertone Tattoos/Scars: White, slightly curved "dots" next to his eyes, three on each side. No notable scars - he's very diligent in healing any big hurts after battle.
∙ Family ∙
Parents: - Mother, Hawu Puu. Matriarch of the Puu family. Alive and well, strictly leading her family back in Shroud. Hawu'li visits her, but rather rarely. - Never met his father, nor know anything about him. It's uncertain if he even knows he has a kid. Siblings: - 2 older brothers, Hawu'a and Hawu'to. Hawu'a lives back in Shroud and hunts for a living, while Hawu'to is a researcher in Old Sharlayan. - Grand total of 5 older and 2 younger sisters. Three of the older sisters left home after adulthood to start their own families, the rest of them live with their mother and help provide for the family. Grandparents: Mostly unknown. Hawu sometimes talked about her mother (Hawu'li's maternal grandmother), but she had passed away before Hawu'li was even born. Other: - Draevoux "Drae" Chevalier and Nana Chevalier, elezen couple who are both his (currently retired) co-wols and "roommates". - Varying lineup of partners. He's poly with multiple partners and I've yet to make a solid list of them all since they change all the time. Aymeric and G'raha are the two I mention most. Pets: Carby the Carbuncle. Hawu'li's uh, not that good with names. Carby is your avarage ruby carbuncle, but is around pretty much 24/7. Often refered to as Hawu'li's "emotional support carbuncle", since it's jobs include keeping him calm when he is left alone.
∙ Skills ∙
Abilities: Strong affinity with healing magic and the ability to hear the elementals, making him a formidable white mage. When situation calls for destruction rather than healing, he's also well versed in the art of summoning, and has been known to call upon demi-Bahamut when feeling truly desperate. Hobbies: Cooking, reading and singing. Also likes to mend stuff (patch holes, fix broken furniture) and read stories to kids (usually his sisters')
∙ Traits ∙
Most Positive Trait: Seemingly endless positivity. For someone who's job is to kill gods and see people get hurt on daily basis he's somehow still sure Things Will Be Better, and that deep down everyone has the potential to change for the better. Most Negative Trait: Separation anxiety. From some deepest parts of his soul comes a crippling fear of being left alone. At it's worst, he'll go into full blown panic attack in fifteen or so minutes after losing sight of others. At it's best (mostly after EW) he'll survive with only Carby as his company for almost half a day.
∙ Likes ∙
Colors: Purples, turquoise, most pastels and bright colors Smells: Freshly baked things, forest, lilies, apples baked with cinnamon Textures: Running fingers through silky hair. Wood, fur and silk. Rocks smoothed over by water. Drinks: Tea (any), milk, blackcurrant juice, mulled wine
∙ Other details ∙
Smokes: Nope Drinks: Only in company Drugs: Nuh-uh Mount Issuance: Koivu, his beloved lavender chocobo companion. Disinterested in almost everything, but happily follows any command given by his owner in exchange of some tasty treats. Been Arrested: Surprisingly, only once - in Ishgard, on suspicion of heresy along with Alphi and Tataru. (Drae took the msq spot of fighting for Tataru's freedom)
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Seen this tag game around a lot lately, and I wanted in on the fun despite not being tagged. Took a lot longer to fill than I thought, so we'll see if I have the energy to fill this for other ocs too.
If you want to do it too, go for it! ♪(´▽`) It takes a while, but is very fun to fill~
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BOOM. FANFICTION
We have a dead OC haunting the narrative, we have absolutely soul crushing whump, we have hurt/comfort and a little sprinkle of hurt again at the end! What's not to love!
HELL YEAH! Another entry to the 7-rats-in-a-trenchcoat holy war cinematic universe!!!! Today is a gooood day
when I saw the mail icon I was like I HAVE BEEN CONTACTED YEAAAAAAA
today... is an even better day because we got more Saorise... I'm gonna cry.
You know, I didn't recognize that the "dead oc" was her until I saw her actual name, because in my mind she's still alive and running around as a vital part of the ten commandments. I haven't done anything but gently put her in the background of the daydreams with a cookie of her choice yet, because knowing she was Zeldris's only friend on top of being her own lovable self and now learning that she was a like sister to them both- my HEART 😭
i cannot touch that yet. it is holy. but one day, if I have your approval, I swear I'll make her a happy ending. bc that's what I've been doing since I was little for tragic narratives (Cough, cough, Darkstalker Legends, if you know you know) and now's as good a time as any to step up my game. just the prospect gives my heart the zoomies
me when a writer I love makes an oc and gives them the good angst: 👀 is mine to love? to cherish? to make fictional happy endings for? fictional happy endings that don't exist for the characters that don't exist, that are wonderful and die a horrible undeserved death that fits the themes and story so well my heart is screaming?
oh... so THIS is where that sketch is from...
can you tell I can't write tragedies but enjoy the themes and execution of them so much that I religiously read and corrupt them anyway? yeah 😍
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desastreus · 10 months
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whimsicalcotton · 11 months
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dude there's straight up drugs in this album
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sugared-violets · 2 years
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who needs surgeons when you can just reread the book that defined your adolescence and get your heart ripped out for free
#i didn't get through a whole chapter before i started crying#this is about the dusk gate chronicles which nobody on the face of the planet has ever heard of lol#it's just. these books meant EVERYTHING to me#i've never connected so deeply with any other protagonist. like there are others i LIKE more but this is different#quinn (the protag) just feels... idk like the same as me. almost every decision she makes is the one i would make and our flaws are the same#the love interest reminded me so much of the real boy i was in love with too and that kills me now#the core philosophy of the book literally held our stupid dysfunctional relationship together a couple times#but even now that i'm out and regret ever knowing him the philosophy still means so much to me just in a different way#the rose garden i was trying so hard to cultivate and grow and protect turned out to be nothing but thorns#and the dandelions i used to root out are the happiness i needed all along. yes they're easier but it's easy now because it's right and good#and now it hurts bc these books brought me so much joy but now its stained with associations to someone who hurt me carelessly#in a character that made me want to fall in love#for fucks sake he has the same NAME even. Will this and Will that i can't take it!!!#god. maybe i could find a way to read kindle books in my browser so i can use a deadname replacer on him lol#rename him something that won't break my heart every damn time i read it#anyway. sorry for this i am very sad#dani.txt
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wiitzend · 1 year
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i'm trying to stop drinking water after a certain time so i dont have to keep on getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night because it stops me from sleeping and all i want to do is chug my water bottle.
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i need to study but i just wanna draaaaaw
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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bro i just want to sit n think of stories ( i got off-topic in tags but oh my god i really just want to write again.. SO MUCH WORDS N THOUGHTS N IDEAS IN MY HEAD HFLKASJDFS ><; )
#🌙.rambles#I RAMBLE SO MUCH tbf it is 2 am..#can't help it hdljfdsk it really means so much to me to feel more like myself again#like there's still so much more i haven't been able to do n. regrets.. many of them but#there's so much more to life than that grrr i just need to remember that#success to me in school or work means nothing compared to the love i have for life and humanity as a whole#and my desire to.. really just live n be human#= stuff on family friends love in general in whichever form. learning more. of the world. indulging in my passions n being creative ykyk#the.. idea of success though is something that's a bit of a weak point for me bcs i really get too harsh on myself#but just. so long as i'm here in some way then#even if it hurts n the pain is hard to get rid of i'll live with it. i'll manage if i hold on to what's important to me#i. do feel bad bcs there r some things i wna do right now but i'm still.. v hesitant to do#i am rambling again oh my god i told myself i'll shut up but hdfjalds disappointment n self-doubt rlly r hard to deal with :<#smth i'm really trying to work on is being kinder to myself when it comes to others#bcs it's not that i necessarily think lowly of myself but i have difficulties with accepting stuff like#i don't know stuff like what i mean to them? i'm. really weak to that bcs when it comes to that i often cry actually#not that i necessarily doubt the other but it has something to do with how i feel i belong in this world#there's this.. barrier that's constantly there. i want to belong but i'm afraid.#i repeat saying these stuff often bcs. i don't know it really just often bites at me n sometimes the hopelessness#i feel within myself with a certain incompetence to change despite knowing what i need to do gets too much sometimes#i think that reflects on how i reach out to others sincerely. i genuinely want you to know that. i really care#sorry though if i disappear or get quiet at times. i feel really bad about that but it's really hard for me to get past that kind of#mental block.#but i'm afraid i suppose that if i'm the first to reach out maybe it's totally unwarranted n unwanted n i'm just a bother#i isolate myself often bcs of those thoughts. but like yeah it loops back to i need to do better n i genuinely wnt to improve myself#i don't want to be a burden but i want to stay true to myself. so i end up returning a bit#but then loops back to. yeah. being too much or too little. overwhelming or distant. extreme ends.#i end up often unintentionally restraining myself. hiding certain aspects n i hate it. even being affectionate or kind sometimes#bcs i really just want to be who i really am but i'm afraid that if it doesn't fit a certain standard set of myself then i'll be alone#i'm really trying to improve but there's just so much to think n feel n do n i just hdfkdfjlsd but i'm genuinely fine rn /gen 🥹🫶🏼
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astralforests · 2 months
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i do wish i had spent the last 9 months actually volunteering somewhere instead of just talking about how much i should probably do that lmao 🙃 whered the fuckin time go
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