#I'm so happy i was able to get out everything i wanted to say and he's just so unbelievably funny

[woodchoc-magnum]

all these broken parts

all these broken parts buck/eddie, 56k, mature

author: woodchoc_magnum

read the tags: angst with a happy ending, getting together, pining, depression, post-season 7, b/t breakup, buddie roommates era

summary: Set post-Season 7, where Eddie is struggling with depression, trying to put his life back together, and hopelessly in love with his best friend.

excerpt:

"Eddie, come on. You have to get up. You can't just sleep and hope that things will miraculously get better. He's angry, yeah, and it's going to take time, but you have to keep moving."

"I don't want to keep moving," Eddie snaps at him, sitting up in bed, positively fuming. "That's all I've ever done! I get shot down in a helicopter and I just keep moving. Shannon leaves me and I just keep moving. Shannon fucking dies and I just keep moving! I nearly died and I just kept moving – well, I'm done! Nothing is better! Everything is worse! No matter what I do, I keep hurting people, but if I just stay here in bed, I can't hurt anyone." With that, he curls up into a ball with his back to Buck, pulling a pillow over his head.

Eddie's stubborn, but so is Buck, and he decides to play dirty.

"You're hurting me," he says quietly.

"How?" Eddie spits. "I'm not doing anything to you."

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "I'm scared."

"Scared."

"Yeah. That you're gonna sink so deep into this thing that I won't be able to pull you out," he says honestly, "and that one day… you'll be gone. I'll lose you. I think about what Chim went through with Maddie, and… I'm to blame there too, you know? I knew she was hurting; I knew she wasn't well, but I didn't do enough, so… I'm not gonna let you run away from this, or hide away, or… any of that shit. I'll stay here. I'll drive you to your appointments. I'll sleep on the floor in your room if that's what it takes to keep you here."

He glances over at Eddie, and registers the slight shake of his shoulders – Eddie's crying, in silence, but still. Buck's words are having an effect.

"You remember when you told me that I'm not expendable?" he continues. "Well, you are irreplaceable. You're my best friend in the whole fucking world. I love you. I would do anything for you, so… that's why I'm here. And that's why you won't chase me away."

Eddie lets out a shuddering sob. "Fuck," he blurts out. "God fucking damn it."

"Yeah, you are stuck with me," Buck says ruefully. "Bet you're regretting that right about now."

"No, I– never," Eddie weeps. "Never. Okay?"

Buck glances over at him again – he's crying, hugging himself, and Buck just can't leave him on his own anymore. So he slides over the bed, spoons around Eddie and wraps his arms around him in a burly hug.

Eddie freezes, at first, but then he relaxes, letting out a sigh as he allows Buck to hold him. They lie in silence together, until Eddie slides a hand down Buck's arm, and entwines their fingers together.

"I got you," Buck says in his ear.

"Yeah," Eddie murmurs. "You do."

Read the rest on ao3

[prapaiwife]

Pavel's long message on Twitter for his award yesterday! It's worth the read he's so grateful for everything, and everyone is just so happy for him🥺

Today, boy naret prompaopun has done it successfully na my cat army. i never thought, not even a single bit, that i'd get this popular series actor award 🥹 and in addition pitbabe also got series of the year in the same day 😭 all the tiredness from everything we've done is gone now... ytd when i went to the event, i didn't think i'd get the award, tbh i did prepare a speech for the pitbabe award just in case, but my individual award? i really didn't prepare. i've been seeing you all inviting each other to vote all this while, and i've been seeing the numbers every day ... and every candidate was so superb 😨 and the night before the event i saw, and i thought i'd probably not get it already... so i didn't prepare but all of you surprised me alot, the staff told me after that the votes dropped alot :( i can tell you that i was shocked when the mc said my name into the mic .. at that time, there were a lot of emotions in my head, i was happy, excited, proud of all of you, and scared about what to say... Thus, i want to type it out now bc i won't be able to finish saying all of this...

i want to say that i love you alot pavel's kittens, all of you changed me alot, gave me the courage to do things and believe in myself and gave me the courage to love.... i want to thank you all for having my back from the start, some of you even before pitbabe staying with me for over 5 years .... no matter how long has passed, all of you are my top priority in life. very soon it'll be 1st anniversary of pitbabe the series, i wanna tell you all that i'm very happy and i try my best to make everyone happy. i want us to love each other and in times where we have problems arise that make us uncomfortable, i want us to love each other for a long time na. sometimes people will say that i don't care or something like that... but please dont think that way, i love everyone very much and i want to give happiness to everyone ❤️ no matter if you come to find me at events or support me from home, sometimes i can't do everything for everyone cuz there's too many people :( i want everyone to know that i love you na ❤️ all of you probably know right? that i do my best to produce good work for you all, non-stop and without backing out, i'll do it well whilst being happy and not stressed na ❤️ love you na please stay together like this for a long time na i'll be your strong meow dad and sulky mu na my cat army. no matter what the future will be like, i'll focus on doing my best in the present and i won't make my cat army disappointed na ❤️

Like I have said before,

Live,

Develops,

Enjoy.

PitBabe has ended, but the legacy stays.

But the new legacy will be born, soon.

Stay with me till you can. I’ll continue enjoying my life with you all.

Mumma, I fcking made it.

[starreyblueberry]

So I just found out about the deleted scene from FOPANW, where Timmy Turner would have shown up, and oh my god?? It gives a whole new insight into what they wanna do with him and what direction he possibly could have. If you want to hear it for yourself, the roundtable posted a video about it on YouTube! Alot of what I said are lowkey just direct quotes from the vid The scene would have taken place within Crook to the future! The infamous episode where both Croker and AJ show up, and we get a small reference to Timmy as well though Croker trying to remember his name (and he does he yells out TURNER which is INSANEEEE!!!) The episode features where Hazel's dad works! Galax Institute. An institution that focuses on discovering the paranormal, even featuring fairy hunting equipment within the building. The goal is not to eradicate these creatures either, it's just a path to discovery/knowledge of the unknown! Now in the episode, AJ is the founder of this program. Having discovered it at the age of just 10 years old. The episode occurs during the 96th annual Parascience Pagent, with Hazel's dad attending it and bringing Hazel along with her. In the OG script though, we weren't even going to know who the founder is, it was gonna be hyped up until the end of the episode, where they would reveal it during the convention itself. AJ would give a tiny speech, introducing the Founder of the Galax Institute, and yes, it was going to be the man himself Timmy Turner. Timmy gives his own speech, saying how he remembers being an Average kid, that no one understood (CRYING)!! He remembered being kinda miserable a lot of his childhood, but as he grew older, he also remembered it being so magical. Having a spark that just was not there anymore. He does not remember Cosmo or Wanda (AAAAHHHHHHH) So he's not able to pinpoint why his childhood felt so magical, why some of it was so happy. Timmy was dedicated though- he wanted to find the spark, the magic from his childhood (aka his fairies) again. So he decided that the rest of his life would be dedicated to investigating the paranormal, and too figure out why his childhood was unlike any other. The crowd basically cheers for Timmy, and (I'm happy they cut this part off) Cosmo makes a depressing joke saying "Who the heck is this guy?" (In a joking way but still.) Now. What exactly does this mean for Timmy? Well first off, he seems to have a lot more capable memories then most Godkids, which supports the whole theory that Timmys magic did kinda stay. It also proves that- Timmy couldn't let go of his fairys. Sure he did in a sense, but he never got the feeling of family like that ever again, he never got that happiness with anything else except with Cosmo and Wanda. The fact he spends the rest of his life in a actual parrel too Crcoker, not going insane per say but feeling like. Theirs something missing, and he had it when he was a kid. He almost got everything he wanted until it was stripped away from him the moment he was 18. At least he's happy somewhat though. At least he always held Cosmo and Wanda in his hearts, at least the memories lingered on him forever.

At least he never fully forgot his family.

[sinfulpanda16]

Amazing Classmate

Midoriya, Bakugou, Uraraka, Todoroki x foreigner reader

You are an international student in U.A and meet all of Class 1-A. What are their reactions to seeing you for the first time? How do you guys bond together despite the differences in nationalities?

(n/l) = native language (y/c) = your country

Midoriya

Is fascinated by you

He tries to learn your language by taking notes

When he saw you for the first time, he was starstruck. Your features are so beautiful, and he can't help but to blush a bit when you make eye contact with him. He decides to be a good friend towards you because he didn't want you to feel too different. You two become good friends and when he asks if you can help him learn your native language it made you feel a sense of warmth. You happily agreed, you would tell him 'The Word of the Day' and he would write it down in his notebook.

Izuku waits for you to think of a word. When you finally do you look at him with a smile, "The word of the day is, (random word in your language)."

Midoriya smiles brightly, "Ok! How do you spell that?" he asks getting ready to write in his notebook. You spell it out for him and go on to translate the word in Japanese. You explain to him how you would you use it in a sentence and Midoriya is writing it all down.

It makes you happy that Midoriya is so dedicated to learning your (n/l). He's learned so much from you and is almost able to have a full conversation with you in your mother's tongue. In a way he makes you feel at home.

He does it all because he wants to. He really likes you and where you come from. He likes all of you.

Uraraka

Strives to be more like you

You are so inspirational in her eyes

She walks into the common room and sees you sitting on the couch. She's hasn't been motivated to do much recently and doesn't know why. You have made it clear to all of Class 1-A that you're a safe space and are there for them. Uraraka figures maybe she can talk to you, so she takes a deep breath in and makes her way towards you on the couch.

"Hey (Y/N)" she waves shyly and sits down next to you.

You look from your phone and give her a smile. "Hey what's up?" you ask.

She looks at your eyes and she finds them so beautiful. She can't help but to turn away shyly. "Oh, it's nothing really. I just figured I could use some advice."

You turn off your phone and give her your undivided attention. You allow her to tell you her thoughts and feelings. You listen closely and after she explains everything, she looks at you, "I don't how (Y/N). What should I do?"

You chuckle a bit and begin to answer her question. "Back where I'm from they have a famous saying." Uraraka listens closely. You explain to her a quote your people back at home say a lot. It's something that people tell each other to help them feel better. After you finish explaining you look at her, "It's ok Uraraka. You're human so there's no need to beat yourself up for feeling more tired than usual. I'd recommend going on a walk. That always makes me feel better and productive". You give her a warm smile and say the quote in you language.

She looks at you with her big eyes and then chuckles. "Thanks (Y/N). Thats means a lot. You and your people are really something." she laughs.

You smile, it's true. You're proud of your blood and culture. And Uraraka is also proud of you for that.

Bakugou

Admires you from afar

At first he could've cared less about you, but your just so intriguing

He's sitting in the common room lost in thought and he sees you come out of the elevator. You two make eye contact and you smile brightly. You say, "Hi Bakugou." in your native language. He and all of class 1-A already know the word for Hi in your language because you always say it.

Bakugou just grunts, but that doesn't mean he's not willing to talk with you. You don't mind him and make your way to the kitchen to make yourself something to eat. You been enjoying cold soba ever since Todoroki recommended it to you. He was onto something cuz cold soba hits every time.

Bakugou knew you've been eating a lot of soba cuz of Todoroki and it bothered him. He wasn't sure why, but it did. He calls out for you "Oi! (Y/n)." you look up from what you were doing and look at him. Your eye contact always makes him feel a certain type of way. He can never hold eye contact with you. He looks away and abruptly says the first thing that came to his mind, "Teach me some curse words. You know...in (n/l)."

His request is so random, but you laugh, "Alright".

So that's what you do. You teach him all your favorite curse words in your native language. It makes you laugh because he honestly sounds and looks good cursing in your language.

This helped you two get closer and after you left, he found himself smirking. Just everything about you intrigues him and that includes your culture and language. And you can bet that after that he yells curse words at any extra in your native language.

Shoto

Is respectful to you and your culture

You and him both have your struggles and are always there for each other

You were feeling down and were in your dorm room. You love Japan but just like everyone else who moves countries, you get homesick. You sat at your desk looking at a photo of you and your friends back home. You miss them like hell. Long distance relationships are not easy. You hear a knock at your door and already know its Todoroki cuz of the way he knocks. You call out for him to come in.

He opens your door and walks inside, "Hi (Y/N). Are you busy-" he's caught off guard cuz he can tell something isn't right. He can tell your feeling down.

You raise an eyebrow at him, "Is everything ok?" you ask when he stops speaking mid-sentence.

"I don't know. Is it?" is all Shoto says in his soft voice, and you're taken aback. In all those months Todoroki managed to read you like a book. Honestly, you learned to do the same with him.

You smile softly, "I'm ok Todoroki. I just feel a bit homesick."

He walks towards you, "Oh. You miss (y/c)?" he asks sitting down on your bed. You nod your head and look back at the photo of your friends, "Yeah. I mainly just miss my friends and family. It's been a while since I've seen them in person." you explain.

Todoroki can only imagine what that must feel like. He sometimes misses his family, his mother, even though they're all with him in Japan. He doesn't want you to feel sad, so he suggests doing something to ease your mind.

"(Y/N) me and our friends were going to go to mall together." he reaches to hold your hand, "Please come. I promise it'll make you feel better." he says looking into your eyes.

You smile softly. Although your childhood friends are back in (y/c), that doesn't mean you're all alone here. You have amazing friends like Todoroki and the rest of Class 1-A to be with. You back into his eyes, "Ok. Thanks, Shoto."

He gives you his soft and cute smile, "You're welcome (Y/N)".

[marinettesaltprompts]

I care very deeply about Juleka and her brother(s). I just think they're neat (:

And I'm turning my Protective Sister Juleka (yeah that can be the official title, why not?) prompt into a series. Have fun y'all, here are some more prompts:

• It's hard for Juleka to see her ex-friend the same way. Not just because they're stuck in the same class and hungout with the other girls, but because she feels her relationship with Rose is being strained. Juleka has been going to less and less hangouts with the rest of the girl's and had been asked about it the next time she did join. She said her part, how Marinette swooning over Adrien was hurting Luka, how she couldn't be friends with someone like that, and Marinette defends herself by saying she wasn't in love with Adrien anymore. She was just busy. She had things to do. Luka would tell her if he had a problem. Juleka snaps back that even if he did all she thinks about is Adrien. Adrien this. Adrien that. "Just accept that he doesn't like you, Marinette!! He's never been interested in you and never will be!! Adrien is happy with Kagami!! You want to know who'd behappy with you?! Who IS happy with you despite the way you treat him?! MY BROTHER!!!" This ultimately leads to a divide between the girls. Those siding with Marinette and those siding with Juleka. The only one who hasn't chosen a side, is Rose.

• Purple Tigress does her best to look out for Chat Noir whenever she patrols. Now that her rose tinted glasses have fallen, she's able to see the broken dynamic of the original miraculous duo. It's unpleasant. Where the two used to be so in touch with one another, it felt like every time Chat tried Ladybug would lose her patience. At one point before they split up to patrol a few days ago, she heard Ladybug tell Chat she wasn't interested in him. He...he never said anything about their relationship, about asking her out on a date. He just wanted to know when they would patrol together again...

• Luka knows he's in denial. He knows he's making up excuses for his... girlfriend?? Can he even consider Marinette as his girlfriend? They, they were happy at first. She chose him in the end, not Adrien. But...she still loved him. He'd always be second to him. He's not sure if it's worse that his...that Marinette is still so obviously in love with Adrien while his heart was taken by Kagami. Maybe, maybe Juleka had a point. Marinette didn't want him. Maybe she did love him, but not how he loved her. Maybe, maybe it was time to just, end their relationship.

• If there was one person Juleka had to tell everything to, it was Adrien. He had to know that Marinette liked him. He had to know she had planned to find a way to get him and Kagami separated. He had to know about the schedule and the multiple gifts and the numerous plans she created so they could be together. Marinette still can't see what she's doing wrong? Fine. She'll just have to go to the one person she wouldn't want all that information to go to. And if his girlfriend (his sword weilding, should be in the Olympics, girlfriend) is around when she tells him the truth, all the better.

• Kagami had wanted to be friends with Marinette. Had tried to be friends with her. She thought that whatever differences they had were in the past. That Marinette was happy for her and Adrien. But here was Marinette's boyfriend's sister. Telling her and Adrien about the things she's done not only in attempts to date Adrien, but to ruin their relationship, before they were even dating. How she has a schedule tracking everywhere he goes and when. How she's made gift after gift after gift for decades of Adrien's birthdays. How she's planned on how many kids they would have when they got married, when they'd get married (currently it was a spring wedding, apparently it changes, last time was an autumnal wedding), what they'd do for work, literally an entire life between her and Adrien.

She thought Marinette would move on. That she found someone who loved her and she loved back. She thought...she thought Marinette was her friend... She shouldn't be surprised the girl wasn't her friend in the end, so...why did it...hurt??

• Rose wants to say she and Juleka were a perfect couple. That they've never had problems. But this? This was a problem. Because she knows Juleka is protective of her family. She knows how much Luka means to her. How she can tell when he's happy or not, even when others can't. She, she knows what Marinette is wrong. She knows. But she believed that she and Adrien would find happily ever after just like she and Juleka did. That they'd get together, get married, and have a happy life together. But then Adrien got with Kagami and Marinette got with Luka.

And she'll admit it, it was a surprise but she'd been happy for both couples. She can see she was wrong about Adrien falling for Marinette and finding happily ever after with her, because he found it with Kagami and Kagami with him. And she could see Luka found happily ever after with Marinette, and she assumed Marinette did as well. But Marinette still kept looking at Adrien with a longing look. She still kept his schedule. She still kept making gifts. She stalked his socials to see how his relationship was doing...almost as if to see if he had ended his relationship...

She didn't want to make a choice, to lose a friend, but when that fog clears and you can see things clearly?? She knows that Juleka is the one who's right. Luka deserves better than to be put on the side by a girl who can't love him properly.

• The next time Purple Tigress patrols with Chat she can't help but notice he's being extra quiet. She hadn't see or heard Ladybug do anything recently... So, she asked him about it, expecting him to wave it off as he'd always did (why did her brothers insist on being okay when they clearly weren't???), but was surprised when he began to open up about how he basically lost a friend. How he learned things about her he never thought possible. He thought highly of her once. Said that she was the one person he was unsure whether or not was his friend or not. He felt like she was sending him mixed signals. And now that he knows she liked him? As in, apparently she was in love with him liked him? He couldn't see her the same anymore. And knowing that Adrien is Chat Noir made Purple Tigress all the more upset (and the day she learns Viperion is Luka, and that Marinette is Ladybug, her heart will break) at the two girls she had once respected.

• Marinette can't see why Juleka is so upset with her. So what if she's had to bail on Luka a few times. She apologizes and he forgives her. She's only missed a few dates. And Luka would tell her if he had a problem. She doesn't need Juleka to go all protective over him. And now she got the girls choosing between them. It wasn't fair. She was busy. She's doing her best to be a good girlfriend and a hero at the same time. Juleka only went out as Purple Tigress once in a while, usually just to patrol. Marinette's job as Ladybug is full-time.

She fully believes that things will continue as they had. But then it seems as if she'd been cursed.

First, she learns about Adrien moving classes and how she's meant to stay away from him.

Then she finds out that he and Kagami had blocked her everywhere.

Then she finds out Juleka had told them everything. Which the two insisted she tell Gabriel. Which is why Adrien is in a different class and why she has to keep her distance. Why she was blocked by them.

She's kept behind when everyone leaves to ensure she wouldn't go find Adrien to try and "fix things."

And just as she thinks her day can't get any worse... Luka breaks up with her.

Well that last bit is an akuma waiting to happen : ' ) (Though I am unsure how Juleka would be purple tigress considering that this prompt is apparently pre-Crocoduel/Purple-Tigress episode)

On a personal note, I believe that this subplot would have been an excellent addition to canon season 4. Between the "Truth" episode and Marinette asking Juleka to keep Luka away from the Crocoduel party—rather than simply saying she can’t come—it would have made sense for Marinette and Juleka to have a falling out. This conflict would align with the season’s theme of Marinette’s lack of trust and secret-keeping while also adding some romantic drama that doesn't go back to lovesquare shenanigans, especially since Luka and Kagami both break up with their partners at the start of the season and is never really brought up again.

This subplot could also tie into other episodes like "Gang of Secrets." With Juleka no longer friends with Marinette, the group wouldn’t quickly reconcile after their akumatisation, fostering distrust toward Marinette amid the Guardian issues and Juleka’s feelings about how she treats Luka. This dynamic would create a self-fulfilling prophecy, as Marinette inadvertently pushes others away in school while hypocritically relying on them as auxiliary heroes as Ladybug (while at the same time pushing Chat Noir away in the process).

It would all fit into the season 4 finale as well: Ladybug ultimately refuses to trust anyone with a miraculous following the fight against Strikeback, which in turns leads to Felix taking them all from the Miracle Box once the latter takes her yoyo.

Sorry if this was a bit of a tangent, but outside of making Marinette salt prompts, I do kind of like the idea of taking excellent ideas and trying to incorporate them into canon :) .

Love these prompts you shared! Keep it up!

[smallnico]

can you tell esper is uhhhhh. ill?

got tagged by @beecreeper for the character insp meme! (check out his here!!) this was a lot of fun, there are a couple of honourable mentions i'll get into under the cut, along with some elaborations for the curious.

list of names, L > R 1: harrowhark nonagesimus -- the locked tomb saga 2: isaac -- castlevania (netflix series) 3: cole -- dragon age: inquisition 4: blackbeard -- our flag means death 5: (bingo free space) 6: seven of nine -- star trek: voyager 7: katya zamolodchikova -- real life / unnnhhhh 8: paul muad-dib atreides -- dune 9: maomao -- the apothecary diaries

1: harrowhark nonagesimus -- the locked tomb saga

if you've read the locked tomb, this one's pretty self-explanatory. but i took a lot of inspiration from harrow's grief-sodden religious zealotry for esper's pre-tadpole self, and i think about harrow the ninth every time i write from esper's perspective during the events of the game. it's the amnesiac goblin madness for me. esper would also absolutely put their bone marrow into a soup to kill someone if that was something they could do. they're extra like that

2: isaac -- castlevania (netflix series)

i just fucking love isaac, man. he's such a fascinating character, taken from a place of pain and degradation into the service of a mad god-figure hellbent on destroying humanity, then banished and forced to just. figure out for himself what he wants to do with his life. and it turns out that what he wants to do is relate to the hellbeasts he raises to use as soldiers, and let them try to eat strawberries and live in houses for a change, take a chance at living as something other than vessels of violence. i love him. that's really all esper wants, too -- to find a peaceful existence after a lifetime of pain and brutality and monsterhood.

3: cole -- dragon age: inquisition

cole is such a vibe. he lives in the attic staring unsettlingly at people and reading their minds and exhuming their pain so he can help them with it, including with his knives. he has that unearthly creepy vibe that esper projects, as well as their tendency to poke around in people's private emotions and their slight uncanny distance from human morality and ethics. making cole more human also ends up around the same for esper -- cole is never quite all the way there, but happy to be truly Among the people whose souls he reads and finally able to experience those things for himself.

4: blackbeard -- our flag means death

apart from the leather and queerness and propensity for violence, blackbeard was also a big influence for esper's journey from "yeah, this violence thing is fun for me, besides it's not like i can Leave this life, i'm stuck here so i might as well enjoy it" to "actually even though it's fun it's also exhausting and all i really want is peace. maybe even a monster like me can love and find a community that loves me."

6: seven of nine -- star trek: voyager

god, where to start? "i was a child who was raised to be perfect, my humanity and individuality were completely overridden and my very body was used as an object for unimaginable violence, and now even though i don't know how to be a Person anymore, i'm cut off from everything i've ever known and i don't know what to do." and now, like seven, esper is just trying their best to build a personality out of the leftover scraps they have with the help of their crew of misfits and weirdos. also, perpetrator trauma -- like seven, esper doesn't feel Guilty about their past actions, but it does haunt them, and they don't really know what to do with it. also, i didn't mean for the two images of esper and seven here to make them look exactly the same, but hey.

7: katya zamolodchikova -- real life / unnnhhhh

this one's more of a bit. i watch unnnhhhh with my wife a lot, and every now and again katya will just say something that makes us both go "that's esper-coded". she has that slightly imperfect balance of genuine darkness and unhinged silliness that esper also teeter-totters between, which results in a specific kind of charisma that you kind of have to see to understand.

8: paul muad-dib atreides -- dune

esper's pre-durge and pre-tadpole backstory draws a fair bit of inspiration from paul's narrative arc lmao. he starts out life as a male heir to a bloodline of female psychic specialists, trains with them, and ends up sacrificing his humanity to fulfil a violent divine path pre-ordained for him. real evil messiah hours. esper has way fewer qualms about killing from the start, and the match isn't perfect, but this is an inspiration, not a stencil.

9: maomao -- the apothecary diaries

another weird one, but probably the most purposeful inspiration on the board here. when i was first playing as esper and trying to sort out their personality, i was also watching apothecary diaries, and maomao's feline predilections and sense of mischief and flawless composure and cunning without ambition had me completely enraptured, so i thought, what the hell. she also shares some backstory elements with esper as the [spoilers] bastard daughter of a disgraced but extremely talented courtesan and a creepy war tactician. like esper, maomao just wants to keep her head down and make enough money to fund her special interests. they also both drink poison for fun (at least, esper does pre-tadpole). i think the main thing they diverge on is that esper thinks poison is for basic bitches.

honourable mentions

jimmy "pickles" hoffa -- jimmyhoffathecat

just look at him. that's an esper. photo credit here

tilly -- my parents' house

pretty self-explanatory for any cat owners out there. esper acts like a cat in general, but they specifically act like this cat. she's so influential and talented and perfect.

towa "murase" -- slow damage

this one is an honourable mention instead of being on the board because i didn't meet towa slowdamage until like 3 weeks ago (well after esper was already realized), but the two of them have so many specific things in common it's actually ridiculous. convergent evolution at its finest.

fenris -- dragon age 2

esper and fenris have very little in common story- or personality-wise, but i can't deny that he was a huge visual influence, especially for pre-tadpole esper. i mean, come on. look at him.

yelena belova -- black widow, hawkeye

i'm not much of an mcu person, but the concept of the black widows in general did influence a lot of esper's pre-durge backstory, and i like yelena. she's like a more charismatic and more down-for-murder natasha. she's not a specific inspiration for esper as a character, but they do have a rhyming vibe.

selcis aureus, umbras heltor -- exodusbound

hello, it's fantrolls! i disqualified selcis and umbras from the inspboard because they're literally other ocs i had a hand in creating, and a lot of the things they have in common with esper aren't public, but they both did (and exodusbound did in general) have a lot of influence on esper as a character. i can't help that i like themes of alienation and life persevering in spite of it all in my characters. art shown here by my wife barbelzoa!

espurr -- pokemon

literally a pokemon, not a character. special place in my heart though because i literally named esper after this thang when i first made them in the character creator. they just had the same dead eyed stare and psychic magic, so i went, yeah, that'll do.

thank you so much for reading this much if you did!!!!!

[narmothewraith]

How I imagine myself (aka want to be)

Vent in the tags (sorry in advance)

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[seaofashes]

Ben Starr is genuinely one of the kindest VA's I've met, he was a delight to talk to and nerd out over final fantasy with.

[yusuke-of-valla]

I am so nervous I wan puuke!

[magentagalaxies]

.

[scoutpologist]

can't believe i'm gonna find out if i'm intersex during pride month can we get a hell yeah

[heymacy]

hi macy :) I read about your personal experience with finding yourself too invested in the gallavich fandom to the point of feeling upset about it and I have to say... that happened to me too. the compulsory need to engage even when there's no good feeling at the end of it, the constantly thinking about it to the detriment of other activities... I don't know if it's maybe because shameless and gallavich deal with heavy topics, or just one of the ways online engagement and hyperfixations can evolve, but I felt so much better once I removed myself from it, able to find joy in numerous other activities, and fandoms too! just wanted to share this - the fact that I had the same experience - and wanted to say I'm glad you're doing better now :)

hello my love! thank you for reaching out! i'm very glad that you were able to find solidarity in what i shared. re: heavy topics - i know that for myself, not being faced with content regarding my own disease on a daily basis has been a nice change of pace for me. i haven't felt as consumed by it since i took a step back. i think sometimes the content we engage with colors our real-world experiences and that was definitely the case for me. i've never been a casual viewer of media or a casual enjoyer of things so it doesn't surprise me that what happened to me, happened. i love having the capacity now to enjoy other things - and hey, i still engage with fandom here and there! i'm loving RWRB content right now (i have just a tiny bit of brain rot regarding those two) along with some jane austen adaptations and other such things! media is beautiful and transformative and i love putting stickers on the scrapbook that is my blog! thank you for your kind words - i'm glad i'm doing better now, too. it feels good. it feels healthy and normal. and i really hope everyone can find a balance if they're feeling off-kilter. also, i love you. did you know that? thank you for popping in 💛 feel free to do it any time you please, i'm always hanging around somewhere!

[noxtivagus]

woah i. wrote a lot.

[lesbianpikachu]

.

[girlscience]

what if i killed myself. what would my job do then huh.