#I'm so sorry I didn't make this post earlier

[moistvonlipwig]

9 10 16 please? :D (cwsg, i’m sorry)

aye aye cap'n 🫡 under the cut for length

9. worst part of canon

I think it has to be Mon-El, who is so very terrible that even now he is stealing my ability to kvetch about other things. ...Luckily, this is my blog, so I can do what I want. So the other worst part of canon was the demonization and eventual murder of Manchester Black at J'onn's hands in the same season that saw James cozying up to the Children of Liberty (WHY) and the Superfriends insisting that killing them (the neo-Nazi analogues), even to prevent them from killing their marginalized alien targets, was Wrong and Bad.

(Crisis on Earth-X was pretty bad, too. Not sure how it didn't occur to any of the higher-ups that putting their heroes in Nazi uniforms in order to make them ~Cool Villains~ was maybe kind of a super fucking antisemitic thing to do.)

10. worst part of fanon

I was sorely tempted to just answer this with "el problema es el racismo," but thinking on it further that is technically the worst part of fandom, whereas fanon is generally understood to mean (a) post-colonial Marxist philosopher Frantz Fanon or (b) fan-constructed canon, i.e. headcanons that have become popular and widely accepted by many people in a fandom (sometimes to the point where people mistakenly believe that these headcanons are canon). I've already talked about my problems with the "Kara is a genius"/"Krypton is Advanced™ and Earth is Primitive™" take, as well as the "Lena never really cared about James" take; other popular fanon ideas I can't stand include "Clark is an asshole" (no >:( I like Clark), "J'onn is Alex and Kara's space dad" (citation needed), and "Eliza Danvers is the best mom ever" (when, lest we forget, Alex's whole Deal is a direct result of her Not being the best mom ever lol). Um...there's probably more but to be honest I'm blanking on what they would be.

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Hm, well, I could talk about general fanfic tropes I don't get but I prefer to stay fandom-specific in order to maximize damage from my biting and maiming. So I'll just expand on what I commented on your earlier post: I don't understand the appeal of the trope where Kara shows Lena Disney movies or imparts upon her the True Meaning of Christmas and thus transforms her life from one of forever sadness to one of joyful bliss. I'm not saying I don't like fics where Kara's presence in Lena's life improves her life -- ideally, I would imagine that both of them improve each other's lives. But the specific trope of "OMG, Lena had an abnormally wealthy and abusive childhood and thus has never done [normative thing for American (Christian) children to do that there is no canon evidence she hasn't done and also that is not necessary for healthy childhood psychological development], we must rectify this immediately!!!" baffles me.

[sysmedsaresexist]

u dont gotta publish this if u dont want but ur latest post n overall journey has rlly resonated w us we* just w ayes to let u know we* r a pro endo who actually unblocked u when we* saw ur response to antimisinfo bc u said i realized the way u handled conflicts earlier in ur syscourse discussions rlly alienated u form the ppl u were now wanting contact w n thought that was v fucking insightful n mature of u (in way u just dont see on tumblr at all let alone syscourse hahaha) anyways we* will try our* best to spread the word that ur now leaning pro endo n get u unblocked n in contact w the community (not that we* have a lot of sway or anything like that hahaha we* just feel for u having a space u connected w felt safe w etc turn on u n abandon u it always sux when u realize smth meant more to u then it does to them) anyways hope r ok n doing well

@blue-bubonic I want to publish this.

It was one of the first anons to come through after I made my post, and I had just checked my activity after trying to calm down. It sent me into actual tears because of the kindness, but.

But.

Wait until you read this, my friend.

Seeing you-- specifically you yourselves-- in my inbox was such a surprise. I don't think you know the role you had in what happened.

I had actually just seen a post of yours for the first time in what felt like forever, asterisks all over all willy nilly, and I thought, I bet that fucking asshat cringe blog is going to screenshot it.

And then I stopped, and I was like.

I was that asshat.

And I'm clearly not anymore?

I'm not going to lie, it's possible you're on my blog.

And if I did that, I am so sorry. I hope and pray that I didn't. I don't want to be that person. I don't think I ever wanted to be that person, but I was.

You are a HUGE part of the reason that I made my post.

And to see you, first in line to welcome me into your community...

Bruh

Bruh*

It broke me down, not going to lie.

And then the support just started flowing in, like an actual wave that bowled me over.

I think Circ is going to make a post soon that's going to tie into this really nicely. Keep an eye out for it, maybe? It's really nice.

All that said, thank you. It was more than I deserved.

[bilesproblems]

This month is Black History Month so I want to give a shout-out to all the Black mspec lesbians! Queer history wouldn't be what it is without black people, and the whitewashing of queerness is so disgusting when black queer people have been a huge part of our community and led many of the fights for our rights! And it's even more unfortunate when your own community, the lesbian community, turns on you and uses the terms (nonman and nonwoman) that were used to degender you and other black people as a way to prove your identities are not "real" or "valid." Black bi lesbians, Black pan lesbians, Black poly lesbians, Black omni lesbians, Black abro lesbians, and all Black lunians, you're amazing. You matter so much to this community. We wouldn't be the same without you.

[icejello]

Anyways svsss au idea but it's The Little Mermaid, it's not gonna follow the original story per se. Who's the little mermaid? Luo Binghe ofc, he's been BEGGING his dad (yes it's tianlang-jun) to let him go up to the human world but his dad said noooo bcs humans are dangerous (is it bcs binghe's mom was actually human and they killed her with the reasoning that she betrayed humanity by being with mermaids? Um sorry Su Xiyan but you will have to be dead in this one).

It's not like life is that dull for little binghe, there's his older cousin zuzhi-lang and there's also his friends mobei-jun and sha hualing but none of them seems that interested in exploring the human world and he's just so CURIOUS.

And on his 17th bday he practically begged his father to just let him take a peek and he promises he won't go alone, he'll bring his friends and his cousin can join too for extra measure! Surely it won't be that dangerous, right? Tlj finally gave in but on the one condition that binghe must NOT interact with any of the humans.

Binghe is thrilled! He went up and the sun was just setting and the sky was such a beautiful color. And then he noticed the ship. It was majestic, huge, he's seen wreckage of them on the sea bed but he NEVER saw them actually sailing on water and he was awed. He didn't expect a more breath taking sight could ever appear in that same moment but it happened and he saw a young man standing on the ship. He was beautiful with a smile on his lips as he stared out into the ocean.

But then disaster strikes! A sudden storm appeared and the ship somehow got damaged. There was yelling everywhere and binghe wanted to swim over and help but his cousin held him back bcs he promised his father he would not interact with the humans. But then he saw the pretty man fall from the boat and he ignored everything else to go and save that stranger. He managed to save the man and laid him at the beach where he hoped someone would find him.

Zuzhi-lang immediately dragged all of them back as soon as binghe was satisfied that the human would be safe. He didn't hesitate to report it to his uncle and his father got angry (he was worried). Binghe argued that it wasn't just him! He saw mobei save a man too! But mobei never made any promise to not interact with a human so that excuse did not work.

As soon as he could get away, he immediately went to the beach where he had left the man but he wasn't there! Binghe was stressed, did something happened to him? He was tempted to go on land to check it out but someone pulled him back and he's surprised to see mobei glaring at him. His friend asked him what he's thinking and binghe admitted he was worried about the man that he had saved. After having to watch binghe continuing to look increasingly and obviously nervous, mobei could not stand it anymore and asks him why he didn't just use his power to disguise himself as a human.

This surprised little binghe ofc bcs what? Power to disguise himself as human? That's the first he's heard of it. Mobei just explains how the mermaids from the royal blood line all have a special power to turn themselves into human but it doesn't last long and they need to always return to the sea or they would turn to a sea foam and that the disguise can easily be ruined if they come in touch with water bcs scales would show up.

Binghe is intrigued, he's curious, he's excited, he's nervous. He begged mobei to teach him and he only agreed to it after binghe would not shut up about it the whole way back. Now binghe is a great learner, it didn't take him long to learn it and the next day he immediately went up to look for the pretty stranger. Mobei-jun pointed out to him a spot where some clothes are hidden bcs as mbj said "he can't walk around naked" and binghe has no idea how mbj knew about those hidden stash of clothes but he didn't question it bcs there are more important things at hand!

Walking with legs felt weird ofc, this was a first for him. He struggled and practiced to find his balance and when he was confident enough, he went deeper into the land to look for the stranger. It wasn't long before he reached a city and he was mesmerized. The buildings looks nothing like what he's ever seen in the sea, there's so many ppl walking around, he sees little children running around playing, there are writings that he's never seen of and he momentarily forgot what he was there for. Binghe reminded himself that he's there for a mission and he shouldn't stay there too long.

He walked around, he didn't know where to start, there's so many ppl and it's such a big place, where does he even start with? But then he passed by a group of ladies and they were talking about how handsome the young man they just passed is. Binghe didn't question it and immediately ran towards the direction the ladies came from. He almost ran pass but stopped dead in his track when he finally caught sight of the pretty stranger sitting under a tree. He had a slightly annoyed look on his face and had a small frown as he listened to the young man sitting beside him ramble on.

Binghe watched, rooted in spot, as the stranger lightly smacked the other guy with a hand fan. He heard the guy call him something that sounded like "cucumber-bro" and the only thing he could think of was the sea cucumbers. Binghe must've made a sound in confusion because the both of them suddenly turned to look at him. It caught him off guard and he immediately turned to run away when he saw the pretty stranger opened his mouth to say something but instead he ran into another young man and fell down. The young man glared down at him and he heard the pretty man tell him to leave him alone. Binghe felt like his voice is as lovely as his face.

Binghe ran away as fast as he could but he managed to hear something about that newly arrived young man as the pretty man's fiance. It didn't make that much sense to binghe, they didn't look like they were a couple if anything it seemed like there's an air of awkwardness between them! That was when he passed by a few ppl talking about how lucky it is for Liu Qingge to save a pretty man like Shen Yuan and immediately got his hand in marriage as a reward. Someone interjected that Shen Yuan is the lucky one bcs Liu Qingge is obviously a very beautiful guy with great fighting skills. Now little binghe did not know who those people who was mentioned were but he could sense they were talking about the pretty stranger and that guy he ran into! Personally, binghe thinks that whoever marries Shen Yuan is obviously the lucky one, it's not like that guy Liu Qingge looks THAT good! But there were more important details from the conversation that he just heard! Lqg is marrying Shen Yuan bcs he saved him but he didn't! It was Binghe that saved the pretty guy! So if anything, it should be HIM that marries the pretty guy!

Binghe realized it was late and went back to the sea feeling annoyed. How could someone just CLAIM they did something they didn't?! He knew his father would be anxious at him disappearing for so long and would be angry if he knew where he actually was but now is not the time! Binghe escaped to the land every chance he can and sometimes he would find Shen Yuan there at the tree again but sometimes he would have to go home with nothing. Binghe ranted and complained to his friends. How is that fair? It was him that saved Shen Yuan why does someone else get to be rewarded for it! They're tired of his whining about someone else marrying his little crush and shl accidentally suggested that binghe goes visit the sea witch.

Binghe didn't understand, he's heard of the sea witch but he doesn't need powers to be able to turn himself into human. But when he heard about how he could try asking the sea witch for a spell that would let him stay longer on land without water ruining his disguise, he was determined. Mbj glared at shl for that suggestion and she realized her mistake when she saw the determined look on binghe's face. Luo Binghe is a prince and the only child of tlj, what would happen if he found out that they told his son to go make a deal with the sea witch? He would kill them! They tried to change his mind but he would no longer listen to them, he was set on being able to tell Shen Yuan the truth.

A deal comes with a price and binghe lost his ability to talk bcs of it. He's not mute, he's just no longer able to talk unless he gets true love's kiss. He rushes to land and as luck would have it, ran head first into Shen Yuan. He was kind enough to help little binghe up and he immediately recognized him as the boy that's always watching him but would immediately run away if he was spotted. Shen Yuan tried to ask him for his name but lbh despaired when he realized that he could not tell him. Shen Yuan thought Binghe was an orphan because he didn't respond when he asked about where he lives despite seemingly able to understand him.

Shen Yuan took Binghe under his wings and realized hey, this kid seems to not know that many things. He didn't seem to understand a lot of things at the house, even the most basic and simplest things. Shen Yuan tutors teens and kids in his spare time, either teaching them academics or some self defense skill, so it didn't bother him to have another new boy to teach. Though it seemed like the boy is not able to speak, he does learn quickly and it wasn't long before he was able to tell Shen Yuan who his name is through writing. Shen Yuan enjoys the times he spent with his new disciple, he seemed to get along well with the other 2 older kids that often gets tutored by Shen Yuan too. Actually, Luo Binghe seemed to get along with everyone just fine except for one person, Liu Qingge.

Shen Yuan's parents keeps pushing him to set the wedding date but he keeps pushing it back bcs he wasn't ready. He was grateful ofc that Liu Qingge saved him but it wasn't him that decided to get married as a reward! That was his parents! And some things doesn't make sense to Shen Yuan, Lqg claimed to only found him at the beach, he denies being the one to save him but if that was the truth then who saved him? But his parents took it as lqg only being modest and now they're both stuck in this engagement. Still, as stressing as everything is, binghe felt like a breath of fresh air to him. Truly, he never met a guy like that, he doesn't seem to understand a lot of things when he first arrived but he didn't seem dumb.

How long would it take little binghe to finally reveal the truth to shen yuan? Will he ever confess? Will Shen Yuan reciprocate his feelings? Well that will all be revealed if i actually do write this.

[bumblingbabooshka]

One of the best Voyager scenes to indicate Tuvok & Neelix's dynamic and how I think Tuvok is just as if not more 'annoying'(positive) than Neelix is when Neelix pours Tuvok a fresh squeezed glass of a fruit juice blend and Tuvok's like (paraphrased) "I don't want to drink this." and Neelix is like "Can you please try it?" and Tuvok's like "I don't want to, you're really bad at this sort of thing. It's going to taste bad." and Neelix says that Ensign XYZ said she LOVED it, she even had a second glass! And Tuvok says Ensign XYZ could drink poison without a second thought and Neelix is like "Tuvok could you please just TRY it? Just try a little SIP of it PLEASE??" and Tuvok sighs and rolls his eyes and sniffs it before taking a sip and it turns out he loves it. Turns out it tasted good actually. And then after all that Neelix tries to talk to him over eggs (which he's again cooking fresh for him) and Tuvok tells him he doesn't wanna hear "the life history of his breakfast." Absolutely insufferable this man I would have burned his eggs on PURPOSE!!!!

[mel-loly]

-Hey🌹

(also- read the tags please..)

[theflyingfeeling]

for anyone wondering about the Olli/Allu beach fic... it's now on AO3

🏖️

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

*for the followers*

Dear Yuri's fans, if you're bored and doom scrolling is not enough

you may be interested in going through the archive of 2022 and 2021

miss if I see you even glance towards the delete button of your vintage posts, I will eat your fingers

the sweet temptation.....

[andthebeanstalk]

This is how I organize my story notes. I thought the scene titles looked pretty good today

[hawkinslibrary]

anon !!! this is hours later than i meant for it to be, but here's my rambling essay-length response to your ask from earlier !!!!!!!! fair warning, i am just... so stupid and don't know how to properly get my thoughts across so it's a whole Mess 😬

your last text post is so real!! i really don't get the main character death obssesion either. it's honestly funny in a way because st is pretty much the only show that doesn't kill protagonists, and if they do they're brought back, yet there's more main character death talk in this fandom than anyone can take. it's like people just can't accept the duffers ain't about that life??!  

first, i want to clarify that, to me, the main characters have always been joyce, hopper, nancy, jonathan, steve, mike, el, lucas, will, and dustin, with the addition of max in s2 and robin in s3. this is the main group that we follow, these are our protagonists, and everyone else is just secondary, regardless of whether the actor appears in the main credits or not  

now, my post was definitely more aimed at all the talk i've seen about how there has to be a main character death before the show is over. people acting like it’s a given. i personally just really really don't want any of them to die and hate thinking about the possibility lmao

we don’t know how it’s going to end, or what the final season will be like, how dire things will be. they could absolutely switch gears and start killing mains left and right. i feel like waiting until the final season is exactly what so many other shows do anyway, right? so i get the concern, and it makes me a little wary, too. but that’s exactly it – so many other shows do it. it's weird, it’s tired, it’s unnecessary. and, really, the duffers are out here right now saying how much they regret killing chrissy off and she was only in the one episode. so like... imagine them actually trying to kill off one of the mains  

they can’t please everyone, but i do think ultimately they’ll want to try to do right by as many fans of the show as possible, you know? the wrong kind of ending can ruin a show forever. people love these characters and at the end of it all, i think most of us just want to see them thriving  

(and it’s not like will or el or hopper (or brenner) were ever actually dead. they just made the other characters believe they were, and each time there’s been pretty immediate hints that they weren’t gone for good -- the whole situation with will’s body + him talking to joyce through the lights, hopper leaving the eggos for el, no body for hopper + ‘the american’ in the russian prison, no body for brenner – and this show doesn’t shy away from showing bodies. when a character is dead, they want us to know it and feel it) 

even the cast, millie and noah talking about how it's so big someone *has* to die, right? THEY LITERALLY DON'T. yes, it's a big battle and there should be losses but there is no reason for that to be main characters. like you said, is that unrealistic (and maybe a little ridiculous)?? well, yeah, but so is the show. realism has never been a priority in st. the show is literally a sappy sci-fi horror. and not killing protagonists is part of their formula, just like separating everyone into groups and then bringing them together in the finale is  

i think millie and noah were just joking when they said to start killing everyone, even their own characters, off. like, yeah, the cast is pretty big right now and a ton of characters were added for this season specifically, but they’ve all had their own roles to play and barely exist outside of those parts. chrissy, fred, patrick, they were all brought on just to be killed off – probably the same to be said for more new characters by the end of this season. and i think millie even said something about the duffers being afraid of or even just refusing to kill main characters. but why is killing main characters such a normal thing now? why do we have to expect for characters we love to die horribly for like... no reason?  

i've said it before, but this show absolutely is unrealistic and ridiculous AND cheesy. but it’s rooted in inspiration and references to 80s media, which is also something that i tend to think of as unrealistic and ridiculous and cheesy, so i mean it in the best way possible. it does its job. it's sappy and nostalgic, has an intense focus on love and family and friendship, while also playing on like... every major genre and trope from the era that they can fit into however many episodes and however many hours. i think some people take pieces of it way more seriously than the creators ever intended. they want it to be good, obviously, but also they’re huge nerds and they just want to have fun with it 

i'm absolutely worried about some of the more side characters this season, and i know losing any of them is going to hurt, too. they're very good at making you care about a secondary character only to rip them away from you. but if this was just any other show, we would’ve probably already seriously lost a main character or two  

i've seen people actually criticize this a lot because "it takes away from scenes like the end of dear billy because i know max won't die" and i guess that's valid criticism in some ways but i think people forget that that's literally just NOT the point of that scene. like, if they wanted you to be afraid max would actually like die, you would be. they've had every chance to kill main characters before. they could have killed nancy at the end of ep7 but they didn't. they're not even TRYING to get people scared for her, actually. that's why she's in the teaser and a bunch of bts and why they're not being suspenseful about her fate at all. st doesn't kill main characters. because they. don't. want. to. and they don't want people to be scared of that either, otherwise they'd be a lot more hush hush about stuff. this is something that has been true since s01.

again, why does it even matter? if you know that she isn’t going to die? death isn’t the only possible ending, and it’s not the only consequence, and she’s still very much in danger. there are still so many things that can happen, things that can go wrong, without having to make things so Final. i'm sorry if it starts feeling repetitive that main characters Aren’t being killed off ? but again, why are we just so accepting that that’s a normal response lol  

people around these characters have been dying since s1. like directly or indirectly, because of their involvement with the main characters, because of something the main characters have done. that's messed up enough ! we should be worried about everyone who isn’t listed above that’s ever interacted with one of the mains before even thinking to worry about them. it's a part of that endless suffering i mentioned. guilt, trauma, angst, suffering, only to die in the end anyway... it's just miserable 

they "kill" el and immediately add a scene of hopper taking eggos to the woods. they "kill" hopper and immediately add "the american". st makes fans suffer by putting their main characters through hell, but they don't kill them. that's actually something i love about the show. and some people may find that ridiculous or an error (and yeah, dead loved ones coming back again and again is anything but realistic) but it's very much intentional and has been since day 1 and changing that at the last second would be a huge mistake. one i don't think they'd ever make. (and that's not even talking about how death would ruin most character arcs and make their whole story pointless). anyway, i'm with you with hating the death obssesion around here!! they're so not going there, though, i'm fairly certain we're right 💙 

again, we're talking about the people who have said they immediately regretted killing characters who've only appeared in one episode. people who said they would leave the show if certain characters were killed off. people who write lines like: "she saves your life because of friendship", which, yes, was said incredulously, but should actually be considered a blueprint of the show. one memory of her mother saying she loved her was enough for el to beat henry in that first fight. it's a show literally about underdogs persevering against all odds ("chances of success..." "never tell me the odds")

and just...

killing certain characters would make other seasons of the show completely pointless, others would cause major major major backlash, others have already 'died' AND done the 'sacrifice themselves for everyone else' thing so doing it again but actually dying this time would be stupid, others would completely kill the nostalgia/rewatchability factor, and some would just be cruel. this covers the entire major cast

this is just my thought process on it anyway haha. like, they still could definitely kill someone, but i just think it’d be a bad idea. there's many more interesting and less final ways to go about it idk 

[fairuzfan]

This post is for the anon who sent me that video asking me to debunk it's claims so they can be better equipped against accusations of antisemitism.

Sorry, I won't post the video since I refuse to have that man on my blog but I can give you common Zionist talking points and the illogicality behind it.

To preface: most of the questions Zionists will ask you are a trap, and will make you fall into a "rabbit hole" (as I was once told when I was younger), as we try to apply their reasoning. My advice is to ALWAYS center the humanity of Palestinians. For example, when a Zionist says:

"Don't Jews deserve a homeland to be safe?"

It fundamentally ignores the core issue: Palestinians are being raped, murdered, and expelled from their homes so that the establishment of this so called "homeland" may exist. When people ask this to you, I personally advise saying something like:

Why must Palestinians suffer for the establishment of this homeland?

Always recenter to the issue at hand—the inhumane removal and treatment of Palestinians.

"Palestine belongs to the Jews and Not Muslims"

The whole premise of this claim is flawed—there is a weird tendency to equate Arab/Palestinian=Muslim when it just is like. Completely untrue. There are Palestinian Christians, Bethlehem is famously a Christian city, who have been there for centuries. There are Palestinian Jews, who have been there for centuries. There are Palestinian Muslims, who have been there for centuries. My grandpa told me stories of how he would turn on lamps for his Jewish neighbors in Al-Khalil (or Hebron) during Shabbat.

To claim that Palestine is EITHER Islamic or Jewish doesn't make any sense and completely neglects the fact that dissemination of culture has occurred for centuries, as well as the intermingling of people throughout generations. To somehow assert that for some reason, Jews and Muslims did not have ANYTHING to do with each other—did not create together, did not build families together, did not build culture together, all while being PALESTINIAN—is incredibly racist and nonsensical. "Palestinian" is not a religious identity—it's a cultural and ethnic one.

Also, it does not negate the core issue—Palestinians are being killed, removed, and tortured so that others can live on that land.

"Well what about [something about partitioning land]?"

Honestly like, who cares about the partitioning throughout the 1900 and early 2000s. Sorry, I'm not going to list the whole "partitioning" history nonsense. The whole reason "Israel" exists is because of a Mass Exodus, murder, and rape of Palestinians. Everything after that is rendered obsolete.

"Well, I heard Palestinians allied with Hitler"

I don't know how to tell you this but Palestine was under British Control. No they didn't.

"Israel withdrew from the Gaza and left them to themselves and they put Hammas in charge"

Oh yeah, Israel totally left Gaza, that's why Gazans' water, electricity, internet, and food is completely controlled by Israel (this is sarcasm, Israel still controls basic life in Gaza).

Go back to centering the idea that no human deserves to be shoved into an open-air prison, starved, and controlled. Did you know that the Zionist Entity controls the amount of water Gazans receive, as well as counting their calories to ensure they don't have enough energy on a day to day basis?

"I heard Israel asked Arabs to stay"

Show them these papers and videos when they say this:

If you can't show them these videos, check in the next point what to say.

"Well the Palestinians left of their own will in 1948"

Palestinians in 1948 didn't "leave." They had heard of how the Zionist Entity was slaughtering Palestinians en masse. Women especially heard stories of rape and sexual violence. They fled from *violence*. Again, from an earlier post, that this was a calculated effort on the Zionist Entity's part to try and get them to "leave" on their own and "abandon" their houses so that they can come in and say "hey, they left on their own so, we can come in and take their houses now."

Anyways, the idea that once you leave your house you can't ever come back to it is incredibly odd to me as an argument on Zionists' part. Like if you leave your house right now to go to the grocery store and you come back and see someone in your house and they're like "sorry dude, this is my house now, you left so that means you can't come back," you'd be like, "what the hell!" It would be even weirder if everyone agreed with the guy who took your house, which is what happened to Palestinians.

In Al-Khalil, or Hebron, Palestinians always have to have someone stay in their house or else a Settler will come in and take it from them. So it still goes on today as well.

This is not a point, but when that one person in the video said "Arabs lived under Israeli rule" and showed a clip of a bustling city with mountains, I'm pretty sure that was Amman, Jordan, not Palestine lol. Those buildings in the mountains look like how downtown Amman builds the residential areas. Could be wrong tho.

"There are no Jews living under Palestinian rule in Palestine"

What is this, some sort of gotcha argument? What are they trying to prove, the racist (obviously false) notion that Palestinians hate Jews as a whole? How do they know no Palestinian Jew lives in Gaza? Also, Settlers in Palestinian Territory exist??? I had never heard this claim before, its incredibly stupid lol. You're automatically a citizen of "Israel" if you're Jewish, whether or not you live in or outside of Palestinian Territories. So of course technically they don't live under Palestinian rule, they're granted full rights as an "Israeli" citizen automatically!

Go back to talking about the inhumane treatment of Palestinians, I wouldn't bring up the above counterpoint unless they really won't let it go since the main point is mistreatment.

"Why are Christians supporting Israel then, if it's a secular issue rather than a religious one?"

Well actually for a couple reasons:

Oil interests and regional control of goods (White People Supporting White People).

Weird fundamentalist ideology where they want to enact the second coming of Christ.

And finally because they are racist and don't think Arab Christians deserve to live. They literally bombed a 1500+ year church the other day. Why would (White) Christians cosign that.

Anyways, its a stupid argument again, because it forgets the core issue of Palestinians dying and being displaced.

In summary, always go back to the point of centering the Palestinians being displaced, tortured, and murdered, no matter the argument a Zionist gives you.

[mayasaura]

It really dawned on me watching episode 17, just how important this sequence of events is to Kabru and Laios' relationship, and how. Well. That's for a different post. I want to keep this one free of spoilers. (Certified Safe For Anime Only™)(There are spoilers for episode 17, tho. Obviously.)

Kabru's main concern has been, at least in part, revealed. He wants to figure out if Laios is capable of defeating the dungeon, and, if so, if Laios can be trusted with the power that might confer. The answer to his first question is simple. Yes. If anyone can defeat the dungeon, it's Laios.

The second question is where things get interesting. Can Laios be trusted with power?

In the aftermath of Laios' first fight with Toshiro, Kabru learns that while Laios has no particular respect for the law or conventional wisdom, he does have the humility to consider that his judgment might be flawed if he encounters conflict with someone he respects.

That is the face of a man taking notes, and I think he's making a cautious mark in Laios' favor. Laios doesn't really understand Toshiro's opinion, but he's listening.

Then, in the fight with the Falin-Dragon chimera, Kabru voices dissent—disgust, even—with Laios and Marcille's priorities.

You can practically see the Dragon Age style approval rating drop. Kabru disapproves. Minus fifteen hearts. If it had ended like this, I think Kabru would have lost all interest in Laios. Someone who would sacrifice a dozen lives out of sentiment can't be trusted.

Laios' response, and the way it builds on Kabru's earlier observation, is crucial.

He listened. And even better, he didn't listen blindly. He applied critical thought to Kabru's argument. What Kabru hears from him isn't just "I'm sorry, you were right," but also, "I understand and respect your position and priorities, and here's a very good argument for why killing what I still consider to be my sister is not in our best interest."

He processed Kabru's criticism and came to his own conclusions, and he did it fast. Not only that, but he's right. Kabru hadn't considered the potential consequences of killing the chimera.

Laios proved in this one exchange that he 1) isn't blinded by either his pride or his prejudice, 2) has the strength of character to not just fall back and surrender to someone else's judgment when he's uncertain, and 3) is smart enough to tactically outhink Kabru.

This is why Kabru is so invested in Laios liking him that he forces himself to eat the harpy omlette. This is why Kabru takes Laios' hand and makes sure he knows he wants to see him again. He doesn't understand Laios, and he still has strong reservations about him. Laios' interest in monsters scares him. But Laios has proved to Kabru that he might be capable of being the person Kabru needs him to be.

Top Ten Pictures Of The Moment He Won You Over (Taken Just Before Disaster).

[andysorbit]

minors, fuck off.

pairing: boyfriend!Jaehyun x fem!reader

genres: smut, light fluff

warnings: breeding kink, spit kink, riding, dirty talk, unprotected sex, overstimulation

summary: Jaehyun fucking you into his mattress while he's torn between giving into the breeding kink you both have. did he say he'd pull out because he didn't have time to put a condom on? yes. did you agree while silently hoping that he'd lose himself in it and forget to pull out? of course you did and now you're begging the universe to gift this to you.

author's note: hi I chose violence!! yes this was accidentally posted like 5 days ago when it was a mere 20 sentences at best and I accidentally deleted my progress a bunch of times. I was gonna just scrap it but... idk this one wouldn't leave me alone and I had to finish it. it started off as a drabble and snowballed into this. also it's not proofread. @calibabii21 told me about Will Downings cover of I Can't Help It by Michael Jackson and that's how this ended up getting done

feedback is always appreciated

♡

you're too shy to tell him that but oh God do you pray that it happens. you squeal wildly, so excited to feel his thick cock stretching your walls mercilessly and making you tremble shamelessly. the lewd squelching sound of his cock driving deep into you doesn't make it any easier for him to fight off the need to soak your walls with his cum. he furrows his brow and sucks in a strangled breath through his gritted teeth.

"gonna fucking cum, baby. you feel so fucking good taking my dick baby girl. keep taking it, baby. keep taking it just like that. you have no fucking idea how bad i wanna give you every drop of my cum, baby- tell me where you want it and I'll give it to you. tell where you fucking want it, baby. fucking tell me," he groans frantically. his sweaty skin is flushed pink and you gasp when he kisses you again; pushing his hair away from his sweaty forehead. he's throwing the line out and you're definitely gonna take it. maybe you'll both regret it but right now, you don't really care and he'd look cute holding a baby.

"don't pull out, Jae. please, please, please... oh my God, Jae, please," You babble out; eyes watering as you clench around him. he picks up his already frantic pace and slams into you as hard as he can; voice raising in pitch and eyes searching yours for any signs of the apprehension that he fucked out of you much earlier on.

he chuckles, "I wasn't gonna pull out... you know that. gonna give you what you deserve, right, baby? been such a- fuck... such a fuck... such a good fucking girl. you deserve this. my girl deserves a reward, yeah?" he pants as his lips catch yours.

"yes, daddy," You whimper. the words barely leave your mouth before he's pulling out of you and making his way to the head of the bed; leaving you empty and very disappointed, you sit up to follow him with your eyes. he's already seated with his back against the headboard and he grabs your arm, "get your ass over here" he orders you as he pulls you into his lap. he wastes no time filling you up again but this time, he's still for a moment.

"m- my legs, Jae. I can't... please, s'too much," You sob. your hands come up to push his hair back again and he shakes his head slowly; a soft but devilish smile, "I got you, mama but..." he hums against your lips, "You sure you're okay with this? not scared of me getting you pregnant?" he asks. you shake your head, "not scared... want it, daddy... want it so bad."

he kisses you again, "m'not gonna hold back, baby. you sure?"

"please... please, I can handle it," You reply as you steady yourself by holding onto his shoulders. he nods, hands grabbing your hips for better leverage, "hold on tight," he whispers before fucking up into you with that same merciless pace he had moments earlier. you lurch forward and your forehead collides with his. you both laugh and he stops to look at you, "fuck, baby I'm sorry," he says sheepishly. he winces and kisses your forehead, "You're gonna have to really hold onto me, princess. hold onto daddy nice and tight, okay?"

you nod and he goes right back to it; giving your gushing pussy every ounce of determination and yearning that he has left. he gets louder as his orgasm storms closer and closer, "So fucking close, y/n. gonna drain my fucking balls inside you, baby. you want that?" he strains through gritted teeth and you know he's holding out as best as he can because nothing quite does it for Jaehyun the way your pleas do. for your boyfriend, to hear you beg, grovel, moan, and sob is to live and he loves it almost as much as he loves you. craves it almost as much as he craves your embrace at the end of a day. covets it with the same ferocity that he holds for your body. to say he's yours would be an understatement.

"please jae... baby please I... fuck. I need it! I need it so fucking bad!" You squeak and he sobs, softly and desperately as his hips grow sloppy. finally, he cums with deep sobs and closed eyes. his head falls back and he gasps in air but he doesn't stop fucking into you. he couldn't even if he wanted to.

"can't- stop- I- tell me... if... fuck, baby... tell me if it's too much. need you to tell me," he whines. you take his face in your hands and kiss him as hard as you can, "not gonna stop you, Jae. do your worst," you say as you breathe in his strangled breaths. his head falls back again and he continues sobbing as he fucks you. he's so overstimulated that a tear rolls down his cheek but he keeps going. he keeps fucking you and grabbing at your hips. he cums again, this time with a choked whine and he squeezes your hips so hard that you know you'll be feeling it long after this all ends.

you find a sliver of strength when Jaehyun's brain scrambled ramblings overtake his clarity and you ride him like your life depends on it. your nails scratch down his chest and he winces, "fuck, baby. give it to daddy... give it... baby, yesyesyesyes- don't you fucking stop"

when Jaehyun's head falls back, you grab his face and pull his head back up, "look at me daddy. watch me ride you," You pant, "Come on... open your eyes and watch me"

you run a thumb over his quivering lips and softly pry his mouth open; dipping down, you lick his lips and his tongue laps at yours hungrily. it's a sloppy kiss, nothing but teeth, tongues, and so much spit that it's almost obscene. "fucking love tasting you," he breathes and with that, you hold his mouth open, "taste me all you want, daddy," you purr and spit on his tongue.

Jaehyun's eyes fly open and he stares at you in wonder and hysteria as he swallows, "You're trying to... you wanna fuckin'... kill me. You're trying to kill me... oh fuck baby. I- I- fuck!"

"I love you too much to kill you, daddy. love you and and your goegeous fucking cock," You chuckle and spit on his tongue again before kissing him sloppily. you bounce a little harder and his fingers squeeze your hips deliciously.

"fucking ride that dick baby. oh my G- fuck, baby. fucking ride that dick baby. that's my girl... yeah that's... that's daddy's good little girl," he groans hungrily. he's close again and the flush on his cheeks deepens as your sweaty bodies writhe against each other, "Gonna cum again, daddy? fill my pussy up again. wanna be pregnant so fucking bad, daddy. fill this pussy" You mew needily. "gonna soak that pussy baby... yeah... just- oh fuck baby. whose pussy is this? this is daddy's pussy?" he hums and his voice is so broken.

"yours daddy. s'all yours... give it to me... come on," you beg. jaehyun's eyes roll back and he cums so hard that his entire body convulses violently before slowly coming to a stop. you slump against his damp and trembling body, weakly taking in his shaky breaths and closing your eyes to focus on the hammering of his pulse beneath his sweaty skin, the labored breaths he pulls into his exhausted lungs, and the involuntary tremors that plague his body.

"did... did you try to... dude did you try to kill me? like... what the fuck was that? and why did you spit in my mouth and why did I like that shit? and I- dude did you just try to fucking kill me? be so for real- you want me dead because what the actual fuck was that?" he rambles before falling into a soft fit of laughter.

"I dunno," You say with a soft shrug, "You just... did something to me..." Jaehyun's hands finally come off of your hips and he circles his arms around your waist. he turns his face to nuzzle against your neck and his lips leave slow, barely-there kisses across your heated skin; your own face dipping down to press kisses against his sweaty hairline. it's times like this when you wish you could leave your own body for a little while just to see what you both look like from a different perspective. how pretty and in love you both look as you glow in this post-sex reverie.

"I kinda... this probably sounds stupid but sometimes... when we're fucking I wonder what we'd look like from a different point of view... like if my soul just floated out of my body so I could hover over us and look down... I wish I could do that when we do stuff like this too... I bet we look hot as fuck," he mumbles. his pulse no longer sits just beneath his skin and his once hot and sweaty skin is now cool and sticky. you smile, "I was thinking the same thing baby you're not crazy," You chuckle softly as you shift a little. Jaehyun gasps, "fuck baby don't move yet shit..." he moans. you didn't think he'd still be so sensitive for so long but it makes you smile.

"You're lucky my legs are sore because I'd try to get another one out of you," You sigh teasingly. Jaehyun laughs before pulling you away just far enough to hold your gaze, "you want me to blow another load in you? huh pretty princess? you wanna have my babies?" his voice lowers and you feel your stomach flutter. he knows you'd take all of him again if he decided that he wanted to have his way with you however many more times he chose.

you kiss him and he smiles at you with a gentle and a very satisfied smile. you smile too knowing that you're both at peace with whatever the universe gives you for sharing this moment.



[nanaslutt]

NEED A PART 2 OF MMA TOJI RNNNN

Pt 1. here

Contains: fem reader, angst to comfort, fluff, lots of screaming & crying, manhandling, Toji isn't the best with his feelings, confessions, mutual pining, cunnilingus, Toji cums in his pants, soooo much dirty talk, sweet sweet lovey dovey filth, hickeys, biting, crack :3

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

You woke up from your nap with the grating jingle of your phone ringing on your nightstand. You sat up and rubbed the sleep from your eys, glancing at the clock- 9:13 pm. "Fuck, I must've been tired." You sighed, rubbing the back of your neck as you grabbed your phone right when the caller ID of Toji's assistant disappeared from your screen. It was then that you noticed how your phone had over 35 missed messages from the team, 5 plus calls, and even a text from your best friend, Shoko.

"What the fuuuuck?" You whispered into the room, standing up to flick on your light, your phone started ringing once more- Toji's assistant was calling again. You slid the green check over, answering the call, "Are you with Toji right now?" Her rushed voice spoke through the phone. "What? No, I was sleeping." You answered, sitting back down on your bed as you sat criss crossed on top of your sheets. "Fuck, he won't answer his phone." She cursed, the sound of a car revving could be heard in the background- why was she driving this late?

"You're scaring me, what's going on?" You said, swallowing the lump in your throat as you fiddled with the hem of your shorts. "I'm so sorry babe, it's okay, but I'm going to need you to stay off of your phone, I'm on the way to pick you up now." She said as calmly as she could muster. "Please tell me whats going on, is Toji okay?" You asked, holding your hand over your chest as you felt a sort of nauseousness come over you. "I don't know what that asshole is doing, he's probably drunk or something." She responded, cursing under her breath some more as she finished.

What the fuck did that mean? You put her on speaker and swiped out of the call, not wanting to give her any indication that you were scrolling through your phone after she just told you not to. The first message you checked was from Shoko.

Shoko: Is that video real?

Shoko: Babe, pick up your phone, what the fuuuck is going on

Shoko: This is not the time to be napping, fuck, pick up right now

You scrolled through was seemed like an endless row of texts from her that all read the same thing, until one caught your eye, making your heart sink to your stomach.

Shoko: Why didn't you tell me you were hooking up with Toji?

Your heart started beating out of your chest, you covered your mouth as you felt something rise up your throat, your face felt hot as you took in her words. How did she know you and Toji had been hooking up? Your swiped over to the work group chat that Toji was excluded from and started from the top.

Main manager: Someone get ahold of Toji NOW, and let me know the moment you do, he's playing with his fucking future here.

The thread continued with your coworkers all chattering about Toji, most of them saying how he wasn't responding, this and that- a couple girls you were close with were asking in the chat how you were doing. You were going to be sick. You saw one of his managers say something about a Twitter video in the thread. Faster than the speed of light, you opened up the blue bird icon, and your feed was immediately flushed with snippets of a video you had partook in earlier that day, of you and Toji fucking in the PT room, the most noticeable account that was posting them being Toji's himself.

It was only then that you registered Toji's assistant had been talking to you as her repeated call of your name left her lips and entered your brain. "Fuck." You covered your mouth with your hand and rushed to the bathroom, your name could be heard yelling out to you through the speaker as you barely made it into the restroom in time. Coughing as your knees lay next to the toilet bowl, you heaved air into your lungs as you tried to process what was going on. You were so scared; a million questions rattled through your brain.

Why would Toji post that now? The two of you had been doing this and filming it for months, so why now? Why could no one get ahold of him? Were you going to get fired? We're you safe right now? Toji has been the sex symbol of the MMA world for years, he had too many fangirls to keep track of, surely they had it out for your head now. You groaned into the small space of the bathroom, flushing the toilet you stood up on shaky legs and walked back into your bedroom.

Toji's assistant must've heard your breathing because she called out to you again, "Are you okay? I heard the toilet flush. Fuck I'm going to kill him I swear I-" Your weak voice cut her off, "I gotta go." You said, not hearing her protests as you clicked the big red button on the screen, ending the call. Anger, confusion, and sadness along with all of these unanswered questions consumed your entire being as you opened up Toji's chat and spilled your guts out to him.

You screamed, your voice cracking as fat tears rolled down your face, curses coming out broken as you choked on your words; and to think you were actually starting to like him. Of course, he was like all the others. You threw your phone against the wall, a loud thumb resounding against the hard surface as you buried your head in your hands, sobbing into the silent room as you waited to hear the knock of Toji's assistant through the wall.

--

Toji doesn't think he's ever felt so frantic in his life, even amidst all the chaos that would come with showing his face in public, especially around what was going on right now, he forgot to throw on a face mask as he ran into the elevator, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the numbers to decline, hitting the bottom floor.

How was he going to fix this? Could he fix this? He swore he would never throw another punch again if he couldn't make this right, fuck being the world champion MMA fighter, that didn't mean anything if you weren't there by his side. He was thrown back to earlier that day when he had invited you over to his house for drinks, feeling dejected when you had to decline, saying you had a lot of work to do and errands to run- and so little time to do so. He couldn't help but think how things would've been if you had come over for drinks.

The two of you would've drank some expensive liquor he got from some rich old man at a company dinner, probably bickered; as the two of you did. He bet you would've been rolling around together in his sheets right now, continuing what had occurred earlier in the day. He ultimately would've missed the text he got from the strange number from being so absolved in you-- or maybe the two of you would've been cuddling by then, your naked chest pressed to his as some show played in the background of his too-large bedroom while he sipped on the expensive liquor and felt your heartbeat against his skin.

There was always the possibility he could've seen the message after the two of you were finished, and clicked on it anyways; at least then you wouldn't be thinking he betrayed your trust and had leaked the video himself, and you could've delt with it together.

He couldn't stop thinking about how uncharacteristically sad and weak you sounded. The anger still being evident in your voice, but the sorrow and betrayal were thick in your tone, you sounded utterly defeated. He had never heard you curse his name in the way you did through the phone. You really sounded like you meant it. By the time he came to, he was already halfway to your house, he had no idea how he had gotten so far and not realized. He could have been running people down in the street and passing through every red light and not have known.

He prayed he would make it to your house before anyone else did, after all, he knows all the shortcuts to your home, he had spent a lot of time there over the past months you two had been doing whatever it was you were doing. He swerved past cars, ignoring his blinker signal as he raced through gaps in the lines of the road between vehicles, not being conscious of his well-being as the only thought on his mind was to get to you.

He pulled into your housing complex, parked his very expensive car on the side of the road, and didn't even bother locking it as he made a b-line for your front door. You were still crumpled on your bed and crying when you heard the frantic knock on your door, signaling to you that Toji's assistant had arrived. You pulled yourself off of your now tear stained sheets and wiped your wet cheeks before you started making your way for the front door.

The pounding continued, making you scrunch your eyebrows together in annoyance. You know she had no idea how to know if you heard her, but you were feet away from the door, have some patience. With a sigh, you turned the handle to your door and swung it open, stepping to the side to let her in, when you froze. Standing in front of you was none other than Toji himself, he was panting like he had just finished running a marathon, his hair was damp, his shirt was wrinkled, and he looked more of a mess than you did.

For some reason, Toji was the last person you were expecting to see, hearing about his disappearance from everyone and all. You registered his presence too late as he forced himself through the doorway and into your home. "Toji-" You started, feeling the anger start to rise, and the tears start to form in your sockets. "Let me talk." He said, quietly, shutting the door behind him as he took slow and careful steps toward you as you backed away.

You felt like the prey, and he was a predator the way he was stalking your movements. "Ill scream right now." You said as serious as you've ever said anything, keeping your eyes on him, unwavering. "It wasn't me-" He tried to speak. "Get the fuck out of my house!" You yelled, not wanting to hear him out. He called out your name softly, followed by a please. "Toji, get the fuck out!!" You repeated, pointing your hand angrily to the door behind him. Your sudden movements broke his stalking spell as he took long strides quickly up to you. "Stop!" you yelled again, louder this time.

You turned away from him to excape to another room, but you were too late. He grabbed your arm with a force that scared you, keeping your body in place as he wrapped the arm around your body, placing his other hand firmly over your mouth as he pressed you back against his chest, keeping you in place there. You tried yelling against his palm, curling your arms up to dig your nails into his forearms as you wiggled against his iron grip.

He knew this was absolutely the wrong way to go about this, but he had never done anything like this before, his emotions were too overwhelming. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He whispered, holding you against him, making sure his hand placement on your hip wasn't hurting you too bad as he brought you down on the floor to your knees, all the while his hand stayed over your mouth as tears flowed freely down your face, curing into his hand.

"It wasn't me, baby it wasn't me who posted that video." He said softly, keeping his hand over your mouth while he got his words out, making sure you were listening. "I would never do that to you." He continued, while you gripped his large forearm with a force he didn't even know was possible for you to exert, breathing heavily as your screams and attempts to excapre from his arms died down.

How were you supposed to believe him? A part of you really wanted to, Toji did not seem like the kind of man who would do this, so boldly if anything. Why would he post your sex tape on his main account unless he was batshit crazy? But you knew there were definitely secrets this man had under his belt, which made you skeptical as you tried to listen to his words, taking deep breaths in through your nose to get your emotions under control.

"My phone got hacked, that's the reason no one could reach me, the reason you couldn't reach me." he made a point to emphasize. "I clicked on some stupid fucking link because my ego felt bruised.." He paused, to which you scrunched your eyebrows in confusion at his explanation, but listened nonetheless. "And my phone shut down. I got a call from my manager cussing me out for posting that shit, but I explained everything to him." He said softly, keeping his iron grip on your body.

The tears still flowed over your cheeks, dampening his fingers as he spoke, "When I saw your messages I came over here as fast as I could, I'm sorry for not responding I-" He paused, swallowing a lump in his throat, "I couldn't let you think I would do this to you, I had to know you were okay." He said, feeling his face heat up at the words he was saying, the man had never been so vulnerable in his life.

He kept his hand around your mouth for a couple moments after, letting you absorb his words before his hand fell from your mouth, the arm around your body loosening in tandem. "Never grab me like that again." We're the first words that fell from your lips, making him wince at your harsh tone. "Where is your phone?" You asked next. "My house." He responded quickly, trying to gauge your reaction now that you had heard the truth.

You stood from his grasp, his body staying on the floor as he watched you get up and walk forward a couple steps, looking like you were wiping your eyes while you faced away from him before you turned around to look at him, and with a quivering lip you sighed, sliding your body down the wall adjacent from him, only a couple feet in front of him as you tipped your head back against the wall and let the hot tears roll down your flushed cheeks, "Fuck." Your voice came out cracked, "What am I going to do." You cried, covering your mouth as you kept your eyes shut, sobbing in front of him.

"The team is meeting at my house, we'll figure this out." He spoke, trying to reassure you, but his words only resulted in you snapping at him. "Easy for you to say! Everyone is in love with you! Do you have ANY idea how many people would kill to sleep with you?" You said, dropping your chin as you raised up from your spot on the floor, now standing in front of him.

He called your name, slowly standing from the floor as well as you continued yelling at him, "Those people are going to hunt me down for this Toji! Fuck! This is such a fucking mess, I should've never slept with you in the first place." Toji's breath caught in his throat as your words hit him harder than any punch he's ever received in the ring. You continued pacing in front of him, running your hands through your hair and cursing under your breath.

"You really mean that?" He said, making you stop your pacing. "You would really take all of that back?" He was trying and failing to keep the hurt out of his voice, but you were too overwhelmed to notice it anyway. "Well we wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't kissed me all those months ago would we?" You spat, looking him up and down. His eyebrows scrunched together as his eyes squinted at you, "This isn't my fault." He spoke, tilting his head at you.

"Who's fault is it then?" You challenged, walking up to him and placing your chest inches from his. "YOU hired me on the team, YOU kissed me first, YOU took the first video, YOU started this." You said, poking your nail into his chest with every point you made. "So were just going to skip over how YOU accepted this job, YOU kissed me back, YOU begged me to take the video, this is not my fault!" He yelled back, shaking his head at you.

"Well, It's sure as hell not mine!" You defended yourself, backing up from his body as you shook your head in disbelief. "I never fucking said it is!" He yelled your name, "This is not out fault!" He tried to keep his composure, but you were making it so fucking hard. "Then who's is it then, huh? Who's is it?" You challenged, tilting your head at him and squinting your eyes as you waited for a response that never came.

"That's what I thought If we just never fucking started this in the first place, we. wouldn't. be. here." You spat through your teeth, making the vein on his forehead pop out in annoyance as he felt his heart sink to the bottom of his feet. Maybe he was wrong about you, he really thought there might be something here but the way you were so willing to wish so easily that you never started this with him in the first place was making him rethink that. "Fuck!" You shoved his chest when he didn't answer, walking into your bedroom to excape this conversation, you felt like you were going to be sick again.

"Where are you going?" He yelled, walking after you as you made your way through the doorway into your personal space. "Anywhere if it means you're not there." You said back, biting your lip between your teeth as you tried to take deep breaths to calm your angry stomach. You weren't sure you were even mad at Toji for this, you just needed someone to blame. He was right after all, you took on this job, you chose to cross this line with him, you consented to everything, but the thought that you might even be a little responsible for this was driving you to deflect, deflect, deflect.

"That's it then? We're done talking?" He said, following closely behind you as you distanced yourself from him with the bet between you. "Toji I don't know what else you want me to say." You said, waving your arms out in front of you as you sighed, shaking your head at him. "Tell me you don't regret this." He said, the sadness returning to his voice. "Tell me you don't regret the last 12 fucking months we spent doing this just because of this." He said like the current situation was nothing.

You laughed incredulously, finding no humor in the situation, "This, could very well be the end of my career." You said, ignoring his first demand. "This might be nothing to some big hot shot celebrity like you, whos sitting on some fucking gold mine, but I'm a little different Toji, I'm not some famous celebrity who can just never work again after this and be fine." You said, your lip quivering as you spoke.

"That's not what I meant." He tried to interject, to no avail as you continued ranting. "Who is going to hire the slut who whored herself out for the number one MMA fighter in the world? No company wants that kind of baggage." You said, shaking your head. "Don't say that shit about yourself." He said, looking sternly into your eyes. "That's all they fucking see Toji, that's all everyone thinks I am." You said, huffing out a curt laugh once more.

"Who cares what a bunch of strangers think about you? They don't matter!" He tried to reason. "You don't fucking get it! You're not listening to me!" You responded, raising your voice. "No, You're not listening to me!" He yelled loudly, catching you off guard at the desperation in his voice. "It doesn't matter what they think because I know. I know what you are. Do you want me to spell it out for you? Huh?" He yelled, his voice cracking as your crying picked up again, hot tears running down your face.

"I love you, okay? I'm in love with you." He yelled, his chest heaving. "Do you see me talk to anyone the way I talk to you? I don't even fucking look at anyone besides you." He said, exasperated, watching the fat tears roll down your cheeks as you watched him with a slack jaw as he made his way to your side of the bed. "The first person I look at when I finish a match, it's always you. It will always be you." He said, grabbing your face in his hands as you stared up at him, silently sobbing, your hands coming to rest on the small of his wasit.

"So tell me you don't regret what we've built, tell me." He said, clenching his jaw under the weight of his teeth. Your red eyes gazed up at him, iris swirling with confusion, sadness, anger, reciprocation. You were thrown back to what started all this as you stood on your tippy toes and crashed your lips with his, hot tears flowing freely from your eyes.

Toji inhaled sharply, wiping the hot tears from your cheeks before dropping his hands to your waist he pressed you against his body, moving your lips together needily. You whined shortly into his mouth, smoothing your hands over to the front of his chest as you started pulling up his shirt, trying to get him naked. Toji understood fully, pulling away from the kiss, he yanked his shirt off of his body in one swift movement and placed his large hands back onto your hips, connecting your lips again.

Toji walked the both of you back a couple feet, bumping the back of your shins against the bottom of the bed frame. You wrapped your arms around his strong neck and let him pick up your body, his hands coming to grip under your thighs as he wrapped your legs around his torso and climbed onto your bed, laying your back down on the sheets.

The two of you gasped and panted into the other's mouth through the messy kiss, quiet moans could be heard from the both of you when Toji started humping his hips shallowly into your clothed cunt, to which you wrapped your legs tighter around his large frame, encouraging the feeling. "I don't-" kiss "regret this-" you whispered against his lips, opening your eyes that locked onto his darker ones, blurry from the proximity. "Yeah?" He breathed into your cavern, one of his hands coming down to pull your legs off of his waist so he could pull your night shorts off.

"Yeah~" You wined, running your hands over his toned chest while he leaned back on his heels and pulled your shorts and panties down your body in one swift movement, exposing your already-soaked cunt to his eyes. Toji wrapped his arms around your thighs and pushed you higher up on the bed, making room for himself as he slotted himself between your legs, gripping around the fat of your thighs, he let you sling them over his shoulders as he pressed soft but needy kisses to the insides of your thighs.

"Toji~" You whimpered, keeping your swollen eyes on his as he looked up at you like you hung the stars in the sky. He tightened his hold on your thighs, squeezing the fat in comfort, "It's just us baby, let me take care of you." his deep voice spoke softly. The rapidness in which you were experiencing all of your emotions at once was giving you whiplash, but Toji's comforting thumb rubbing your skin was helping you ground yourself.

You nodded, and with that, Toji vacuumed his lips to your clit and got to work. "Ffuuck~" You wined breathily, tipping your head back against your familiar sheets-- heavy eyes shutting in pleasure as he flicked his tongue over the sensitive bud, humming against it. He kept his eyes on you the entire time, soaking in each and every one of your reactions. He released your clit with a pop; sticking out his tongue he dragged it through your folds before bringing the wet appendage back up to your clit and drawing his name across it.

Toji started humping his hips into the mattress, not being able to handle your soft moans echoing into his ears and his alone. He felt like the two of you were the only people in the world, he hoped you were feeling the same. He knew he couldn't fix this situation with the snap of his fingers, and it was sure to come with some level of consequence for the both of you, but he didn't want you to think about any of that right now, he just wanted you to focus on his tongue, and the pleasure it was bringing you.

He wished he could make you feel like this all the time, you looked like you were experiencing complete bliss, the way your eyes were screwed shut and your head was thrashing, you looked like you were in another world mentally from his tongue. Toji felt extra sensitive at this moment; maybe a combination of the confession and your sweet moans, the way you were squeezing his head with your thighs, your taste, all of it was making him feel like a virgin.

The mattress was also working him over surprisingly well. The ache in his cock was so strong, so he appreciated any sort of relief, he just didn't expect humping the bed sheets like some pre-teen would feel so good-- once again he thinks he had you to thank for most of what he was feeling. He couldn't help but wonder if he could get off like this; losing himself in your cunt as his thoughts kept rolling, he rapidly flicked his tongue on your sensitive bud, keeping his eyes on your flushed face.

"Right there- Fuck- Toji-" You wined, thrashing your head back and forth against the mattress, you laced your hands with one of his on your thigh, the other threading itself through his hair, still damp from his shower, as you gripped onto the strands for support. He headed your words, rolling his warm tongue over your clit as he drew shapes and words onto the bud, loving the way your back arched and the muscles of your thighs tensed under his hands.

He groaned into your wetness when you started rolling your hips against his face, moaning 'mhm''s into your cunt at his approval. He knew you were getting close when you started holding your breath, your moans pausing for a period of time before a larger one echoed throughout the room, another telltale sign being the way your thighs started to shake. "B-baby I'm gonna cum- 'ur gonna make me cum-" You whimpered, squeezing his hand in yours as he rapidly brought you to your high.

The man between your legs pinched his eyebrows together while he watched you fall apart on his tongue. He Humped his hips against the bed he felt himself feel dizzy watching your eyes roll back in your head as you repeated his name like a mantra. He felt his own orgasm crash over him as well, right when you gripped your nails into his hair and started riding out your own.

He moaned loudly into your cunt, sending delicious vibrations through your pussy as he worked you through the shocks of your orgasm. Toji's eyes were rolling back in his head as he felt rope after rope be realized into his pants, firmly pressing his hips into the bed for as much relief as possible as he shook his head against your wetness, letting you ride the aftershocks of your orgasm out on his tongue. "Fuck-" You heaved, releasing your grip on his hair you pulled is back to push your own out of your face, blinking away the fuzziness your orgasm created in your eyes.

Toji left one more kiss against your oversensitive clit before pulling away and raising his body to sit back on his heels, your thighs now slung over his more muscular ones. Your half-lidded eyes dropped to his crotch, noticing the twitching from under his sweats as a dark grey spot had formed right where his cock was. "Toji, did you-" You started, raising your eyes back up to meet his and blushing at the sight.

Toji was breathing heavily, his jaw dropped in a small o as his eyes flicked between your own, and the mess he made between your thighs. That same mess was coating the entire bottom half of his face, some on his nose and upper cheeks from how sloppily he had been eating you out. "Didn't know you liked eating my pussy that much." You smiled at him, wrapping the naked bottom half of your body around his hips as he leaned into you, placing his strong forearms by the sides of your head.

He leaned down to the crook of your neck and started leaving slow, teasing kisses against the skin, making you gasp softly. "Has there ever been a time we fucked that I didn't eat you out first?" He asked, his hot breath tickling your neck as he used his hand to tip your chin toward the ceiling to give himself more room. "Even when we have five minutes to get our shit done," kiss "I still eat your cunt out first don't I?" His deep voice vibrates into your skin, making you moan at his words.

"Yes, you- you do-" You respond, letting him spoil you with his heavy neck kisses. "I love makin' you feel good. Makes me so fuckin' hard to see you squirmin' like that cos of me." He continues, shallowly humping his semi-hard on against your naked cunt as he speaks. "Every time I feel you cum on my fingers before I fuck you." A bite could be felt on your neck, pulling the skin towards him before he let it drop back into place, "Makes me feel like I'm goin' fuckin' crazy." You whimper, grinding your hips into his as you meet his slow thrusts.

"Love hearin' you too," You giggle when he kisses a ticklish spot. "Okay I get it, you're in love with me~" You tease, running your hands through his air as he sucks purple bruises into your neck. "It's just that though." He says, pulling his head away to look at you directly. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

You've never seen the expression that was currently lying across Toji Fushiguro's features right now, it didn't look wrong; just unusual, and you think you could get used to it. He looked so bashful, almost pouting as he blushed down at you; he looked so soft. He leaned down for a kiss slowly, the two of you looking between your lips and eyes before-

*ring ring ring* ..... *ring ring ring .....

Toji dropped his head back into your neck defeatedly with a sigh, he almost forgot what was happening right now, you had that effect on him. You laughed at his reaction, feeling him leave weak kisses against your shoulder as you reached over to the nightstand and grabbed your phone, sliding the green button across the screen as you held it up to your ear.

"Hello?" You spoke into the receiver, wincing when the grating voice of Toji's assistant screamed through the phone. "I'm here, tell me why Toji's car is outside your house right now?! Are you with him?! Why did you not tell anyone!!" She yelled, Even from Toji's place on the opposite side of your neck, he could still hear her words loud and clear. "He got here not too long ago, and wanted to explain everything to me." You answered, running your hands through his hair absentmindedly as you spoke.

"Explain?! Explain what?? Why he leaked a fucking sex tape on a major social media sight, ON HIS PUBLIC ACCOUNT??" She yelled. You had to admit, her rage on your behalf felt nice, you always did like her, but you couldn't help but giggle at her words. After a brief back-and-forth explaining the situation to her, she sighed, and you heard her car start up again in the background. "Next time Toji goes MIA and the entire team is going batshit trying to find him, please at least let someone know." She sighed, feeling a headache come on.

Toji snatched the phone from your hand and pressed it against his ear. "We were a little busy." He said, rendering her completely speechless for a couple beats. You made sure to smack him upside the head, wrangling the phone back from him you muttered out a quick 'sorry' before letting her process Toji's words some more. "I don't want to know what that means and don't tell me. I don't wanna be liable for any of this shit, I don't know anything." She deadpanned, making you laugh into the receiver.

"Oh, so this is funny to y-" Another loud sigh could be heard from miles away from the intensity of it leaving her lips, "The two of you meet the team at Toji's in ten, hanging up now." She said before the dial tone blared through your phone. You turned your phone off, your body going limp against the sheets as you were brutally forced back into reality. If you had it your way you would stay in this bed forever, embraced in Toji's arms as the two of you lived your whole life out in this one room.

With a groan, he begrudgingly rolled himself off of you, walking over to your desk he grabbed your purse and turned back around to watch you sling your legs off the side of the bed and start sliding on your pants; the expression on your face was distant. Toji placed your bag on the mattress before he slotted himself between your legs and held your hands in his face, making you look at him. "It's going to be okay." He said, nodding his head. You shut your eyes, feeling the nausea start to creep back over you, Toji's words aided in keeping most of it down.

"Fuck, I don't wanna go" You said, leaning your heavy head into the side of his palm. He wasn't used to seeing you so soft, but it pulled all the right strings in his heart. He knew this was an absolutely horrid situation, but he couldn't help but want to engrain this exact moment into his brain forever. "It'll be alright, well get through this together." He reassured. You cracked your eyes open and stared at him blankly, pouting your lip at him.

"I meant I didn't wanna be seen with you and that very obvious cum stain on your pants, but that part too--sure, we'll figure this out." You said, forcing back a smile. Toji licked his teeth before the warmth of his hands were gone, and he walked over to where you kept your pants in your closet, you laughed as his figure disapeared into the open walk in closet, his wet pants and boxers being comedically thrown out of the room as he found something suitable to put on instead.

He walked out in a pair of your plaid pajama pants, that were about a foot and a half too short on him. "You know what, I'm glad your sex tape got leaked." He said, placing his hands on his hips as he looked at you all too seriously for the silly outfit he was adorned in. You covered your mouth as you burst into a fit of laughter, the scene made Toji internally sigh in relief, he knew you were trying to play tough to protect yourself from all those scary emotions, so he was glad to see you genuinely smile tonight.

"Let's go big boy." You said, throwing your bad over your shoulder and swiping your phone from the desk as you headed for the entrance of your bedroom. Toji followed hot on your heels, bumping into you when you stopped in your tracks and turned your head over your shoulder. "I think I'm falling in love with you too." You spoke into the quiet air, welcoming the feeling of Toji's warm hand rubbing on your arm before you trekked forward and made your way out the door to Toji's penthouse to meet the team.

Bonus scene:

You and Toji walk into his main room, every member of Toji's team sitting in his living room already as the chatter bustles loudly, computer keyboard clicking resonating through the room, men yelling at poor representatives on phones mixing with the conversation.

The room goes completely silent as soon as one of them looks your way, the rest of their eyes following; you swear a pin dropping could be heard.

They took in your states, Toji, his hair slightly wavy, slightly straight, sticking in every direction. The pants he wore bursting at the seams of the thighs as the ankle of the pant rested bellow his knee. You, adorned in black leggings and some band T-shirt, two different colored and different length socks hugged your ankles, your entire body wrapped in a snug looking grey robe- and of course, the dark purple hickeys that scattered across the expanse of your neck.

Toji raised an eyebrow, his lip curling upwards as his deep voice spoke. "Somethin' on my face?"

[diwatopia]

★ lovely ; james potter.

info: comfort, james potter x fem!reader, under 1k.

your head nuzzles into james' neck, inhaling greedily. "you smell good..." you sigh dreamily, nails raking the tiny curls at the base of his neck.

"yeah? i took a shower earlier... used that lavender soap you like," he hums while adjusting at the duvet. he huffs softly, unsure whether the cold touch of the wall that digs into his side annoys him more or the small amount of bedding left.

he tugs at the thick blanket as if attempting to get comfortable but you choose to not think much of it. in your mind, he fancies your cuddles, your affection, like he does every day.

after few seconds of finagling and a growing frown of frustration, "can you back up just a little bit? you've left me no space and this window sill is just stabbing my side like mad..." he groans.

you pout slightly, cheeks flushing a soft hue that closely resembles one of embarrassment. "sorry," you reply softly, body rolling over before scooting towards the opposite end of the bed.

"oh, love..." he makes an awfully sweet crooning sound, lips matching your bitty frown as you hug the bunched up duvet in your arms as if wired to cuddle something, to cuddle james.

james sighs, inching closer till your back meets his front. toned arms wrap around your midriff in attempt to apologize further.

"'m sorry, i didn't mean to be all over you." you speak understandingly, barely there and james feels his heart crack into trillions of pieces.

because here you are, being his undoubtedly sweet girl, showering him in your love that it makes his own affection cower next to yours.

"it's not your fault, baby. i dunno' why i spoke that way, 'm sorry." he speak weakly, as if barely noticing his original tone of voice.

you hum, "you seemed like you had a rough day... cuddles always seem to do the trick, but i guess today's different and that's okay." your voice is nothing but a squeak, soft and meek in a way that makes james believe that you'd rather not upset him again.

he's quick to prove otherwise as he showers your nape and cheek with the sweetest of kisses, soft lips against your supple skin.

"i'm not mad, my beautiful girl. you're so kind, always caring for others, thank you for the cuddles!" he lays it on thick, tone drenched in the finest of honey from the most richest of hives.

you giggle as his kisses grow tenfold, thicker fingers tickling at your waist. "jamie!" you laugh, swatting at his wrists with no real defense, more or less for show.

laughter and tickles turn to soft grazes and a love-sick gaze that makes you melt into the sheets like putty.

"why're you looking at me like that?" you whisper, thumb grazing his hairline absentmindedly.

"'cause you're lovely," he whispers back.

"you're lovely," you quip back with ease.

"nuh-uh, sweet girl. you're definitely loveliest." he coos.

★ diwa's notes: haiii this is my first post in ages and i'm super nervous bc ik my small amount of followers are def gone bc this isn't atwow TT this was just something sitting in my drafts so i hope ppl enjoy it :3 (and ellecdc if ur reading this which is a very low chance, ty for ur advice 🤍)

© hobietopia 2024.

[leahswife]

the in-betweens

summary: in which you and aitana go from normal best friends to best friends who kiss.

a/n: this is the before of "where do we stand". gotta post some aitana fluff after all the jenni filth. i'm sorry if this feels rushed but i just couldn't find any more ways to describe the goddamn act of kissing 😭

prequel, part one, part two, part three

"ven a bailar conmigo, porfaaa." aitana begged as she grabbed your hand. 

"no no no aita–" you tried to protest but the girl's strong arms pulled you up from your seat, in the direction of the dance floor. you looked back at where you were seated besides caro and marta, sending them a pleading look to save you. they sent you an apologetic look but knew even they couldn't reason with a buzzed energetic aitana. you groaned at being dragged, you weren't in the mood for drinks tonight and you pretty content sitting next to the calm couple.

you don't know where aitana managed to find so much energy to party after a long game. but she did. and insisted on trying to force some of it into your worn out body.

you danced for a while, aitana screaming along to the spanish songs playing. you were unable to keep your frown on, with a smile pulling at the corners of your lips as you saw how happy she was.

she finally calmed down and wrapped her arms around your neck which made you comfortable enough to wrap yours around her waist, pulling her closer. you felt like your heart could combust with how close she was. she was breathless and clearly still high on a buzz when she got closer to your ear to shout "quiero besarte!" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not quite understanding what she said, a mix of language barrier and loud music not allowing you to. she grabbed the back of your neck to pull you closer and shouted again, "i want to kiss you!" she smiled excitedly.

you felt like your eyes couldn't grow wider if you wanted to, shocked at what you just heard. "you want to kiss me?" you asked her, disbelief in your voice. she just nodded with a happy smile and kept on dancing like she just didn't drop those 'too drunken' news on your 'too sober' self.

you went along with her wishes for a while but the pressing of sweaty bodies against you was starting to make you uncomfortable and so you got closer to aitana to shout in her ear, "i'm tired, tana. i'm going!" she nodded, starting to get drained too and both of you went back to your friends' table to gather your stuff. she tripped a bit on her own feet and you quickly put your hand on her waist to steady her, "okay, i'm taking you home." you say as you grab her stuff for her, she just giggled and let you take the lead, "at least take me to dinner first."

once you got to her house, you search for her keys in her purse and open the door, planting your hand on her back to guide her inside.

"so much better." you let out as you relished in the warmth of aitana's apartment, compared to the night's relentless cold outside. you turned to aitana to see her shivering in her dress, holding tightly onto her jacket.

"aitanita, go change into your pajamas." you rubbed up and down her arms and she nodded, "you can use my pajamas too" she suggested quietly, sleepiness taking over her.

"oh that's okay, i can go ba–"

"i'd like for you to stay." she whispered, looking up at you. she was sobering up by now and you could see it in her eyes there was something she needed to let out. did she remember what she said earlier? about you two kissing? she could really just let it go and blame it on the alcohol but you knew aitana felt the need to carefully explain any behaviour that could come across as weird. so you nodded. you went to grab her pajamas and got ready in her bathroom while she got dressed in her bedroom.

when you walked in, aitana was sprawled in her bed, dead asleep. you looked at her for a moment, heart beating slightly faster at the thought that your best friend might like you back. anyway, that was something for you to obsess over later. you chuckled at her figure and tucked her in, pulling the warm covers over her. you grabbed a blanket and made yourself comfortable on her couch.

–

"why did you sleep on the couch?!" 

you groaned and reluctantly opened your eyes as a scolding aitana woke you up.

"you don't have a guest room." you mumbled sleepily.

"so you should've slept in my bed." she crossed her arms.

"hm. couldn't disturb your beauty sleep." you put one arm over your eyes to keep away the light.

"idiota." you heard aitana mutter under her breath as she continued to throw complaints in catalan at you.

"aita, aita, aita" you repeated in hopes of interrupting her, in which you were successful, resulting in aitana shutting her mouth but not without sending you a scowl.

"qué?"

"has anyone ever told you that you're extremely loud and talk way–" you're interrupted by her rolling her eyes and moving towards the kitchen, ignoring you, "-- way too fast!" you yelled after her.

soon after, you feel a body sit down next your lying one. you opened your eyes to see aitana offering you a plate with fruit and eggs and some orange juice. you sit up, a smile forming on your face. "you didn't have to."

"eat." 

"bossy."

"as i speak."

you looked at her, getting slightly anxious at what was about to come next. but you nodded and started diving into your plate.

"i said something last night." she started, hesitantly. you nodded again, focusing more on your plate rather than looking at her so she wouldn't feel so much on the spot.

"i didn't– i don't want to make you uncomfortable with what i said."

"did you mean it though?" you finally lift your gaze towards her. 

"i– i did mean it. but i don't know what that means for me. if that makes sense." aitana was looking at her hands, fidgeting with them. this was clearly a sensitive topic. you noticed her breathing starting to get irregular and you put your plate and glass on the coffee table so you could get closer to her.

"i just don't want to lose you and i'm sorry if i made things awkward or different–" she started rambling the same time her tears started flowing down her cheeks. you pulled her into a hug and held her tight, "hey, tana–" "i don't want you to look at me differently or avoid me–" she was trying to control her breathing at this point, so you grabbed her cheeks, "aitana. stop." you said firmly, trying to ground her. she finally regained control of her breath and looked at you with slightly red eyes. 

"aitana, i can assure you that you wanting to kiss me is not a problem. at all. i don't feel weird or uncomfortable or whatever. hell, i feel flattered that aitana bonmatí wants to kiss me." you winked at her, trying to lighten up the mood. she giggled and wiped her nose. you felt relieved when you saw the smile back in her face, "i know this is probably overwhelming for you right now and you have a lot to discover on your own. but i can't lie and say i don't want to kiss you either." 

she looked up at you, eyes wide at your confession. 

"but if that's something you're not ready to explore, let's leave it at that and let it go."

–

and you did. let it go, that is. for a little while.

none of you spoke about it. you figured aitana should be the one to bring it up when she's prepared, so you went back to normal. as if nothing happened.

until it did.

–

you and almost the whole barça team were hanging out at mapi and ingrid's house for bonding night. you had played a few games and were now gathered around the living-room, watching a movie.

you were sitting at one of the ends of the couch, with aitana cuddling you by your side. you'd often whisper things to her to explain some scene from the movie or make some joke about what was happening. you'd do anything to see her smile and give you her absolutely lovable giggle.

at one point she nudged you to face her. "hm?" you asked, highly aware of how close your faces were. "i'm going to take a nap, wake me up when it's over." she whispered and you could feel her breath on your lips, which was far too intoxicating. you could simply nod and try to not look at her lips. 

she smiled as a thank you and flicked her eyes to your lips before gazing back up at you. you felt her inhale a short breath before looking down at your lips again and moving closer, pressing her own against the corner of your mouth. if your heart wasn't beating fast before, it definitely was now.

you started at each other, both understanding that that changed something.

she leaned her head on your shoulder again to try and take her nap but there was no way aitana was able to fall asleep now with the thundering in her chest.

–

the ride back to aitana's house was silent. there was unspoken tension between you two and you both knew it.

you got out of your car and walked her over to her door, not quite sure what to say and feeling like a teenager with a crush who's just dropped her date off at home and doesn't know what to do.

you huffed in frustration. the silence was killing you and you had to do something about it. you stepped closer to aitana and carefully cupped her cheeks, looking at her as if asking for permission. she didn't pull away so you leaned in, noses touching, you giving her another chance to back out if she wanted to.

she didn't. so you took your chance and softly pressed your lips against hers. 

you honestly didn't know how to describe it. it was tentative, gentle, delicate but - comfortable? like your lips were always meant to touch hers and knew exactly how to move against hers as if you've kissed a hundred times before. 

after what felt like ages to you but were actually seconds, aitana kisses you back. you keep kissing for a few more moments before you pull back, hands still cupping the catalan's cheeks and stare at her, breathless.

"i swear, aitana, if you still don't speak after that i–" you're cut off by her sweet little giggle before she presses multiple kisses on your lips. "you want to come in?" she asks, biting her lip to try and keep her grin from widening even further.

"damn, bonmatí. a girl gives you a finger and you want the whole arm." you shook your head in fake disapproval.

"callate." she grabbed your hand and pulled you in. 

the rest of the night was spent with you two letting your lips and tongues explore each other's mouths. it started off as shy and tender but as comfort and boldness started to settle in, your kisses got harder and provocative.

however, no matter how much your hands and lips delved into each other, no labels were defined. 

and they wouldn't be for the next months to come.

–

a routine started to settle in. you would show up at each other's houses for "best friend's night" and it always ended up with you locking lips. whether it was while aitana was cooking or when she beat you at a board game and you wanted to shut her up.

the same conversation also started to settle in between make out sessions. "just friends, right?" aitana would whisper breathlessly against your lips, and you would nod, agreeing with whatever she wanted so you could press your lips against hers again and again.

"i just," she would cut herself off to kiss you, "can't be," kiss, "in a relationship right now." kiss. you would agree because you would accept anything aitana would give you, no matter how small or little it could be.

you couldn't keep off of each other even at training, with you often pulling her inside closets so you could press her against the wall and muffle her giggles with your mouth. or when she would drag you into the changing room while others were at lunch to playfully bite your lips and leave you winded up.

but aitana was a busy person. she had family, friends and her career to focus on. but all she seemed to focus on now was you. and that was starting to worry her. she never had to make room for someone else in her life since starting her career, except for the casually meeting friends once in a while and visiting her family when she could. but to share everything with someone?

so she started to pull away, she wouldn't reach out to you during trainings, choosing to focus on getting there earlier for gym sessions and staying after to practice some more. this was her life, this was her focus. it had to be. so the "best friend's nights" started to disappear as well, aitana claiming she was too tired after trainings. and she was, she really was. as much as she trained, she didn't feel as fulfilled as before. the more she pulled away from you, the less accomplished she felt. but she also pulled these feelings away.

football was once her entire life. and it would be again.