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#I'm too stupid for social life
donelywell · 2 months
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HERES YOUR ART PAYMENT
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SILVER!!!! (and Espio)
The boyyyy!!! Worth every cent!
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skinnypaleangryperson · 3 months
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Everything has been so pathetically genuinely terribly cringe to me lately, to the point where I don't get joy out of anything anymore, but I'm trying
I'm aware enough to know that this is a side effect of severe depression and stagnance and mundaneity and generally being sick of being alive and hating everything for it
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featherymainffins · 3 months
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Kinda fucked up how all the people I know are like "Yeah I know what I want in my life. I want to work in X field and I want/don't want a long-term partner who I'm going to marry, I want kids and-"
and I'm there just like 🧍
#like wow ok#i have no idea what i want man I'm just doing what's required of me#or more like i think i know some of the things i want but I'm actively beating them up every day and instead choosing#what i consider to be my duty#like yeah I really want to work in design and you know the dream is character design and concept art but that's unrealistic#and any design would do. but that's selfish so like lol no. psychology it is. social work if i fail at that. it's an acceptable#compromise. it's not what I want but it is what i am ok with subjecting myself to.#whenever it looks like I might fail a class at university i get really anxious but also really excited#because on one hand I'm failing to take care of my duties and responsibilities. on the other if they kicked me out nobody could#say i didn't try. i could just say that I'm too stupid. i could say that i don't have what it takes. id be a failure but not out of my#volition. they could tell me that im stupid or inferior but they couldn't label me selfish.#and then id just fuck off to work as a florist or maybe id just work in a smokes shop or anything low stakes like that#while I'd be looking for a job in design. hell i don't even need a job in that field; id love to just work a simple job where after clocking#out i could just go home and partake in my hobbies. like i wouldn't even need to have it as my field of work id be perfectly#content with posting character designs online and sometimes getting a small buck by selling pins and dolls and etc#that's definitely what i want in life. but that's fucked up and selfish and would make me a failure and then i would never#be able to even dream of earning humanity. so. doing my duty it is
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hussyknee · 10 months
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So. Anyone else feeling a little unhinged rn?
#I've had to double my anti depressants#good news is that it's working#bad news is I still can't stay off social media#I saw another dead baby and this time just felt glad she didn't have to suffer this hell anymore#I have never wanted to believe in God more#I'm really glad they do#they believe their children are with God with all their hearts and I've started to imagine that's true too#holding onto their faith when I have none because otherwise I'd go insane#hyperfixating on Gaza for 6 wks while my hyperempathy went utterly haywire#has my brain dead convinced I'm Arab or something#I feel very stupid and guilty about it#like what right have I to claim this grief#and yet it's still easier to focus on than what's going on in my own country#ever since the protests fell apart last year and everything we had such hope for got flushed down the toilet#I just completely shut down#couldn't stand re-engaging with the world anymore#nearly ran out of reasons to keep going entirely this year#then when Gaza happened#I couldn't do anything but watch and learn and disseminate info like my life depended on it#just like with the SL protests#but it galvanized me the same way#I feel like it's breaking me down the same way too#I see all these massive protests and people chaining themselves and lying on the roads and getting thrown around by cops#I always felt that white and Western people could never truly feel our pain and it's amazing to see I was wrong#I feel so much love and awe and gratitude for them#but hope keeps getting dimmer and I'm slipping into despair again#exactly like with the SL protests#I don't want to go through all that betrayal and heartbreak and depression again#nobody that's directly impacted by this knows I exist and all the terrible pain I carry doesn't make a damn bit of difference#so I'm just spiralling alone in my head to no purpose lol
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toastsnaffler · 11 months
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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(
#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man#it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing#eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED#and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself#by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others#it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless#ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking#and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk#oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao#and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3#voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries#that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them#and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long#+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc#and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it#to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite#if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent#.diaries
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satellite-blossom · 3 months
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I'm chronically online but the most mainstream platform I use is Tumblr, so I always sound like some sort of out of touch internet hermit whenever people IRL ask me about mainstream social media stuff.
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thedaythealienscame · 4 months
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yeah, if you're really friends then a confession won't change anything whateverrr but. what if it does.
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hog-guy · 4 months
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i know i say this multiple times a year but i hate how much time it takes to get anything done while working
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bellarichie · 14 days
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having personality/behaviour issues that need to be adressed with a therapist because your parents raised you in an overprotective way feels rude. like, what, you're sad because your parents LOVED you too hard? UNGRATEFUL.
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idontdrinkgatorade · 4 months
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couldn't fall asleep and started feeling depressed and anxious and horribly paranoid about my future so guess who's on tumblr at 12:15 a.m.
#my phone's in the front and my computer was already put up#but i just. could not go to sleep. no matter how hard i tried#i was on the verge of a mental breakdown i guess#i feel like i'm going to lose contact with all my friends#like all of my close friends are either going to a completely different college or aren't even graduating yet#and out of all of my friends i have the furthest driving distance to their cities and i hate driving#like everyone will be living within an hour of each other EXCEPT ME i'm gonna be at least three hours away#and i hate driving so much it stresses me out i think i'm just gonna die on the road and have no future#and i made an insta specifically to attempt to keep contact but idk what i'm doing and idk if it'll even work#i feel like i'm just gonna be another name that people see#i'm so scared of being alone and i'm so scared of losing the people i love#and i'm so scared of them forgetting about me or losing interest in me#they're so important to me but i'm afraid i'm going to stop being important to them#god i'm afraid of leaving the damn cat. she's going to forget about me too#i'm so bad at keeping contact with people i don't know what i'm going to do#i'm so scared of trying to talk to people bc i always think i'm just annoying them no matter how close we are#people say we'll keep in contact but i know i'm just going to be too scared to put in the effort and then they'll stop too#i dunno i miss the times when we fantasized about leaving the country and moving together with all our friends#i wish that could be a reality#and we're going to be so busy too so even just trying to coordinate something won't work#i should have made an insta sooner fuck this is stupid. if i made it sooner i would have more time to create connections and get used to it#rather than just sit there not knowing what to do#i'm just scared of losing everything i know#well fuck i forgot i had attachment issues. i forgot that was literally one of the most substantial aspects of my early childhood trauma#fuck why can't i be normal. why can't i be okay. why can't i be a social person and actually be able to talk to people#there's so much i'm going to miss about my friends and my life. i just. idk what i'm gonna do now#i was looking forward to it bc i would finally be free from the grasp of my parents but at what cost?
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xxlelaxx · 5 months
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Anxiety makes enjoying good things so hard
#ignore me#my life has been too good lately and I'm starring to go insane from everything working#i hate myself so much#I've been trying ao be more social and be a good mom and be someone that my daughter can look up to and my husband can love#but it always ends up with me hating myself so fucking much#I've been eating too many sweets which already is setting a bad example qhen it comes to a healthy diet and my media consumption has been#worse lately and my anxiety is now making me unabke to sleep and I've stopped going on daily walks cause the pain is back#it was so nice not having it around for a while and it is makibg everything so much harder#the sleep makes me more irritable and i feel like all i do is fail my baby#my husbans said he doesnt feel loved by me anymore and I've been trying so hard to manage household baby and everything else but its not#enough i always feel like I'm never enough#I've been a horrible friend like always so i guess that is a constant thing in my life#as if that isnt the worst when my mental health gets worse i start getting flashbacks to remind me of everything that went wrong with me#and that just fuels my anxiety around my daughter living through everything i did as a child and i just cant do this#i just wish i could sleeo again#i think all of this is sleep deprivation but i don't know how to do everything without losing sleep or something#i just wanna rest and sleep for more then four hours without veing woken up#god what i would give for eight hours of continuous sleep#but my husbands shifts are so shit that i cant do that to him... also now that I'm at home he's the only one working and I'm terrified of#loosing him so i dont want him to be at work without sleeping well cause it could actually kill him#worst of all I'm just too stupid to ask for help or bother anyone with my stupid problems#and every time I'm away from her she just screams and i just can't take her screams anyo#anymore#i just want to pee and ahit and eat in peace
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sunderwight · 3 months
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Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.
Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.
I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.
All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!
Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.
Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?
Shen Yuan: what do you mean?
Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?
Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*
Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...
Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?
Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???
Shen Yuan: don't make it weird
Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???
Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating
Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--
Shen Yuan: hey
Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--
Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!
Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--
Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking
Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!
Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--
Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince
Shen Yuan: *mumbling*
Shang Qinghua: what was that?
Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...
Shang Qinghua: oh my god
Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!
Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*
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casekt · 1 year
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#I don't like to consider myself an anxious person because I haven't had like generalized anxiety much in my life or maybe I have n I don't#remeber. forever had social anxiety#but this year I'm so incredibly anxious just doing nothing or anything#about nothing but also about things that trigger my PTSD and OCD#I feel so much more sensitive to becoming that way idk if it's because of my antidepressants or because of how many hours and hours of this#specific abusive relationship media I've watched lmao#I really enjoy it when watching it it's amazingly done and I can't stop thinking about it I'm totally in love with the characters n their#relationships n the story etc but later after it's settled in my brain I'm too anxious to watch it anymore#stupid brain#personal shit#audio#but anyway I was doing just fine ptsd wise and obsessive part of ocd wise but I started thinking about some shit n talked about it in#therapy n thats of course a good thing I don't want to hust bury it but damn bro getting through it sure isn't easy#also stupid brain bc when I'm ''not suffering enough'' I feel like damn I should be suffering more my mental illness is not bad enough#but then when it's worse again its like fuck no lets go back to the not suffering as much#y'know how it is#spotify play killpop by slipknot at a high volume to drown out having shitty feelings but also the song makes me anxious as well because#it's literally about a shitty relationship and reminds me So much about my favorite characters in this media and their relationship#we were meant to be together now die and fucking love me#p***/e***** brainrot FOREVER
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tellafairy · 16 days
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many do you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me less than two weeks to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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monzabee · 3 months
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lawyer up (social media au) - lh44
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where Lewis is dating a lawyer, who might or might not love her job a bit too much.
Pairing: lewis hamilton x lawyer!reader (model used: random people i've found on the internet and also kendall jenner in like one part so it doesn't count)
Warnings: none other than some cursing
Author note: you all know who this is based off of... MIRANDA IS HEREEEEEE (not really but still lol) and i love this one so i hope you also like it as much as i do because i was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed a little bit of self indulgence!! p.s. also, i actually planned for a max fic for today but after that delicious lewis win, i think we all deserve this one besties!!
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
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Liked by lewishamilton, f1wagss, yourbestfriend and 23,746 others.
yourusername: what, like it's hard?
yourusername: lol, yes, yes it is
user: ugh, she is who i wanna be when i grow up
user: who wants to bet lewis makes her read his contracts before signing them
user: okay but why is it the cutest thing ever, i'm SO in
lewishamilton: hey, i'll take that bet
view all 564 comments.
user: HOW DO THEY FIND THE TIME TO BE TOGETHER, THEY NEVER KNEW A DAY OF REST POOR BABIES
user: girl... they're in their thirties... relax...
yourbestie: will be bringing you coffee for the thousandth time this week
yourusername: you're an angel
yourusername
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Liked by yourworkbestie, lewishamilton, user and 34,736 others.
yourusername: today is a good day to make an old white guy cry🤍
user: MA'AM YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED
user: mother is out for revenge i wonder what this is about
yourusername: if it weren't for that nda...
user: she really won the idgaf war, hasn't she?
view all 827 comments.
lewishamilton: you're making me regret what i've told you
yourusername: good, maybe that'll teach you a lesson🫠
yourusername: let the record show this is NOT a good kind of melting puddle emoji
lewishamilton: ouch, sustained
user: ARE MOMMY AND DADDY FIGHTING NOOOO
user: if lewis did something stupid we all know she's going to sue his ass, right??
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lewishamilton shared a story!
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lewishamilton
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Liked by yourusername, mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc and 1,827,728 others.
lewishamilton: family time off
user: OH HE TOOK HER TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF
user: still don't understand how he bagged her, but good for them
user: why the shirtless pic?? who is getting fired now??
user: okay this joke has gone too far
yourusername: my babies
lewishamiton: maam i'm a grown ass man
yourusername: and??
view all 100,827 comments.
user: in the middle of the season?? he is down baddd
user: i'm dying, they are too cute
charles_leclerc: have fun on your trip!
mercedesamgf1: we miss you at the factory!
yourusername: no you don't
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lewishamilton shared a story!
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paddockgossipf1
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Liked by user, f1wagss, f1gossipandwags and 23,973 others.
paddockgossipf1: lewis hamilton and y/n y/ln at the paddock amidst breakup rumours, it appears that she was a part of the hot lap portion of the events.
user: notice how they are never together alone and only smiling for the cameras? yeah we're so done
user: girl relax, take a pill, take a shower, take a walk
user: BUT ARE WE GOING TO GET THE VIDEO OF HIM DRIVING HER FOR THE HOT LAP
user: not gonna lie, they seem fine to me
user: BITCH THEY ARE FINE LOOK AT THEM
view all 3,287 comments.
user: i just know that she won't let him drive her around after this
user: it's so unfair for two good looking people of this caliber to be in a relationship
yourusername
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Liked by lewishamilton, georgerussel63, mercedesamgf1 and 32,928 others.
yourusername: slightly over the speed limit, as always
user: LIFE ON THE HIGHWAAAY
user: omg girl famous last words rip
yourusername: you have no idea
yourusername: i should sue
user: OMG MOTHER
georgerussel63: the lad in the sunglasses looks good
user: NOT THE GEORGE CAMEO HI KING
lewishamilton: come on it wasn't that bad
yourusername: you are a maniac
lewishamilton: 🙁
yourusername: 🤍
view all 16,298 comments.
user: have they adopted george i need to know
user: poor roscoe has a new brother and he doesn't even know
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vent in the tags :3
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