#I've hardly seen it this bad before it was super noticable the second time around

[doppelnatur]

CAN I PLS HEAR UR WILL GRAHAM TAKE?? hannibal is one of my favorite shows but GOD DAMN do they fumble the ball w his illness/neurodivergency/mental illness sometimes (often)

Omg ok listen I haven't watched Hannibal in a hot second and my opinions are deeply deeply unpopular, you probably won't agree at all it's ok. but my impression from last watching it was that, esp in the latest seasons, we're told a bunch of stuff about Will Graham by other characters, which is supposed to be "reading him" but which is directly contradicted by his on screen actions.

My take on Will Graham is that he's a kind and gentle autistic person with magical ""empathy"" abilities that make him over identify with and feel guilty for the actions of others. (Hannibal also has magical abilities, idc about their bs psychoanalysis, super sense of smell, empathy whatever shit it's magic and that's FINE. Face blindness also doesn't make you do this shit so like. That's a magical curse also idc).

His (wrong) belief that his empathy magic makes him evil and responsible is reaffirmed by literally every other character in the show in weird and honestly predatory ways. Obviously Jack uses it to get Will to continue way beyond when he himself wants to stop, Hannibal (wrongly) thinks this magical ability makes Will Graham able to understand him, like on an emotional level and becomes obsessed with him, Alana from the beginning patronizes Will and has a distrust of him and his moral (not just mental! That worry is fair lol) stability and abandons him when he would need her. I think Freddie's attitude to him is supposed to be "foreshadowing his inevitable downfall" which is caused by him being a "criminal kind of person" (read: autistic/magical/mentally ill idc). This believe in criminal people and ""mental illness""" (it whatever the fuck this show does to the concept) making people criminal is a core tenant of the world of the show and it is why it expects us all as viewers to take the side of the other characters because of this.

And then one concrete example that sticks out rn in my mind where someone says something about Will Graham that. In my opinion is directly contradicted by what we see on screen is in season three, when he frees the guy that is trapped by that woman because Hannibal said he murdered his sister (i don't get this plot at all btw what the fuck why was she doing this in the first place what was her relation i know they explain this but i didn't get it) and Will puts a bag over his head and brings him away from the house and then let's him go. But when he (somehow???) Finds the house again and attacks the woman, she blames Will and says this outcome was his intention and that he wanted to make her a murderer. Which he doesn't contradict, because will Graham never contradicts what ppl think about him lol but it's framed like she revealed his evil truth to the audience??? When, if that's what they wanted to do. It would have been so easy to not have Will put a bag over his head. Watching it I was like "why is he putting a bag over his head, he's freeing him" but that's the thing you do when you don't want the outcome where he finds the house again. I just. Don't get it.

It's like the show wrote two characters, will Graham in the dialogue of how everyone including himself sees him which is how we seem to be supposed to see him? As this fallen corrupted man who loves Hannibal. And then will Graham who does things who is repeatedly shown to be extremely concerned with saving lives and values even the criminal lives no one else in the show values lol. And who tbh doesn't seem in love with Hannibal to me. At all. He's like gaslit and pretending that's the feeling of the guy to me.

[itssideria]

well. i woke up to that devastating 'lore's gonna end' discussion, and. i think i'm gonna post my take on things.

to preface: i started watching the dream smp properly mid-season two. we're talking like, when tommy moved in with techno? so i was never there for the daily streams that were so common during exile and season one—i just kinda hear about it and get sad that i wasn't there, lmfao. my entire experience of dream smp lore has been streams that are always a few days to a few weeks apart, which is definitely going to inform my take on things here!!

my take, however, is pretty optimistic. i have several reasons for that.

first up: the lore has been planned.

like, we know this. it's been confirmed. ranboo has shelved plans! wilbur has about 8 of his 12 lore streams left! quackity has stuff filmed for las nevadas! dream has been consistently doing his evil imprisoned villain thing on other people's streams, and technoblade had plans that he had to delay because... yknow. karl wants to restart tales, and has a comic book series in the works for it! jack, sam, foolish, sapnap, george, phil and other 'lesser involved ccs' (i say this dubiously. their lore is super fucking cool) have all done lore streams in the past two months!

this shit is planned, guys. they have ideas. they know where they want to take their characters. they're not uninspired or unmotivated or whatever, they know where they want the story to go.

which brings me to my second point: they want to do their lore well.

i will readily admit that this point is based more off my own observation than actual, stipulated fact. of all the ccs, i think we've only had wilbur, quackity, and karl outright say they want it at a higher-than-ever standard. but as i've said before in this post, and as i'm going to say now, the cc's style of lore has changed, and it's definitely changed for the better.

streams are shorter now, has anyone noticed? they average around 20-40 minutes, instead of the 1-3 hours people got so used to in season one and early season two. and you'd think this would equate to less storytelling, but it doesn't! if anything, we're getting character and plot development faster than we ever have before. this is because the cc's have largely cut the filler, and only left in the plot.

think of the last few lore streams you remember—wilbur’s, quackity's, techno's. they're absolutely action-packed, and fully in character—no bloopers, hardly any filler. wilbur took us from revival to fort big to the burger van in the span of, what, three streams? which is so much faster than it would have happened in the past. and while we do miss out on the chill, soft, character-revealing downtime, this really isn't that bad—it works for the ccs, now that they're busy, it progresses the story, and it ensures that we, the audience, get to see that story unfold. the smp, essentially, is adapting: times have changed, as have content styles and schedules, and this is the best way they can change with it—by changing the way they deliver lore.

finally, and this a point i make based on my post-season one perspective: i do think that the current, pessimistic view of 'the lore's ending' is rooted in season one nostalgia.

again, i never really got to experience the long, daily season one vods. i only got the hour-long daily streams from the second half of season two. so while the change to the short, spaced-out season three streams was weird for me, it was not by any means jarring—i don't really have anything from earlier months to remember, you know? and because my judgement isn't influenced by that, i've never really felt like the dream smp was dying—i just felt like it was becoming more spaced out.

this isn't to hate on or pretend i'm somehow better than the people who were here since the start! you guys are cool as shit, and you don't know how much i wish i could have seen season one live. but it is me gently saying, "hey, maybe the people most worried about the smp dying are thinking of a past that no longer exists?"

the conditions under which the smp started have changed. we no longer have quarantine or super-heightened covid regulations keeping us inside. the ccs are more popular than ever, and (rightfully) want to capitalise on that popularity. it's only natural that the style of the smp will change, too!

think of your favorite fanfic author or comic artist starting university. their uploads are going to be few and far in between. but they'll still definitely be there. and they'll still be dedicated to the story, and they'll still want to see it through! but they'll have to change the style, schedule, and method of delivery to achieve that for you—asking for anything else is basically saying, "i don't care that your circumstances have changed, i expect this to stay the same." your reaction is not born out of rudeness or malice, but it is discouraging, and it would be far nicer to try your best to adapt to the new circumstances.

TLDR; i don't think the smp is dying, not in the slightest. i think it's undergoing a change in storytelling styles, and it's becoming more spaced out. the cc's have lore planned and want us to have it in the highest quality, and the most pessimistic people are maybe just attached to the season one nostalgia.

feel free to send me asks or dm me about this!! im down to discuss it, and i hope this doesn't come off as being condescending or attacking. have a lovely day <3

[rowyn-writes]

Dying From a Broken Heart

Part Two of Confidence

Warnings: Violence, angst, language, arguing, blood, fluff

Pairings: Jack x Winchester!Reader

Characters: Jack Kline, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Rowena, Eros, Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: While you and Jack are at the motel, you make a shocking discovery. You're not dealing with a pack of werewolves like you thought, but Eros, God of Love and Lust. You finally figure out the connection between Eros and the victims. . . Only to find out that you're next.

You and Jack were still doing research when Sam and Dean came back. "Okay, so get this." You said, turning around in your chair. "Every year, six people go missing and are found dead with their hearts torn out."

"A ritual?" Sam inquired.

"Exactly what I was thinking, dear brother." You grinned. "Now, big city like this, six missing people is something you'd hardly notice."

"Yeah, but why would a werewolf preform a ritual?" Dean asked.

"That's what Jack and I kept asking ourselves." You said, looking over at your boyfriend. "Why in the world would a Purebred werewolf need to preform some kind of ritual?" You stood up, rummaging around in your backpack for a book. You gave a triumphant smile as you held up your Greek Mythology book.

"Eros. God of Love and Lust." You opened the book to the page that was dedicated to the god.

"But their hearts were torn out." Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "What would Eros want with hearts?"

"It's a sacrifice for him." You informed the men. "Think about it. None of the vics had bites or even scratches. At first, I thought it was a Purebred werewolf because the attacks didn't line up with the lunar cycle. But the more I thought about it, the more that this makes sense. People used to worship Eros and make sacrifices for him, but now hardly anyone believes in him anymore. So Eros goes out and gets his own sacrifices."

Sam and Dean seemed impressed while Jack seemed proud. "Okay." Dean nodded. "That means that since he failed with the last victim, he's going kill again."

You tried your hardest to think of some kind of connection with all the deceased. You knew there had to be something in common since they were dealing with a god. They seemed to be picky with their sacrifices.

"What are you thinking about, Y/n?" Jack asked, resting his hand on top of yours, something that didn't go unnoticed by your brothers. Dean was about to say something when Sam stomped on his foot, earning a grunt from Dean.

"I'm trying to find the connection between everyone. Because I know there has to be one." You picked at a tear in your jeans while you tried to connect the dots.

Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. You stood up abruptly, startling the men in the room. "I know what Eros looks in for a sacrifice." You stated, grabbing your notepad to look at the stuff you had written down. "Everyone we interviewed said the victims just had a big announcement. The 55 year old man was celebrating his 30th anniversary with his wife, the 28 year old woman was newly engaged, the 45 year old man just started dating again after his wife died, and so on until the fifteen year old girl. She had just gotten her first girlfriend when she was attacked."

"What are you saying, Y/n?" Jack questioned.

"I'm saying that Eros is targeting people with an immense amount of pure love. That's what he's looking for!"

"Wow." Sam said, looking at his little sister in admiration. "That's genius, Y/n." He patted her on the shoulder, only to furrow his eyebrows. "What's that on your collarbone?"

You gave Sam a confused look as you headed to the bathroom. There, on your collarbone was a dark red circle. You sucked in a sharp breath.

"I know who the next target is." You told the men.

"Who?" Jack seemed worried by the look on your face.

"It's me."

.

. .

. . .

"How did this even happen?!" Sam exclaimed.

"I don't know!" You defended yourself, your voice raised slightly. "The whole time we were out I was with you guys. Jack and I never left the motel room while you two were gone."

"That is true." Jack nodded. "Y/n and I stayed in here and she agreed to be my girlfri-"

You put your hand over his mouth. "Now's not the time, babe." You could feel Dean glaring a hole through you and Jack.

"Okay, let's think about this for a second." You said, trying to calm everyone down. "Maybe this is a good thing."

"A good thing?!" Dean roared. "Y/n, how in the hell is this a good thing?!"

"Dean." Sam hissed, cuffing his brother. "Calm down and let Y/n talk." You threw Sam a grateful look.

"This way we can lure Eros out, and kill him. Apparently all it takes is a wooden stake dipped in lambs blood."

"I don't like this plan." Jack muttered.

"See! Thank you." Dean said, clearly pleased with the Nephilim.

"Jack-"

"No, Y/n. You're not going to put yourself in danger just to kill this god. I won't allow it."

"Oh for the love of-" You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Eros is coming for me either way. It's better to be prepared and have a plan rather than to just sit here and let him tear my heart out!"

"Don't talk like that!" Jack insisted angrily. You understood that he was worried about you, but you were a grown woman and could make your own decisions.

"It's inevitable, Jack." You said softly. "Eros will come for me. We know from the victims that he kills them 24 hours after being marked. I have maybe 18 hours at best."

Dean was furious. "This is your fault!" He growled at Jack. "You're the reason my baby sister is being targeted!"

Jack looked taken aback. "I didn't want this for Y/n." He said sincerely. "If I could trade places with her, I would."

"That's the problem!"

"Dean-" You started, only to get interrupted by your oldest brother.

"You think you're in love with her, but you're not! It's unnatural. Nephilim, they can't fall in love. All those stupid movies that Y/n and Sam let you watch made you think you're in love with her. You can't love Y/n."

You felt your throat close up, hurt by Dean's words. "Is it that hard to think someone could love me?" You whispered.

Dean's hard glare softened as his eyes landed on you. "Of course not, sweetheart. But Jack. . . He's not right for you."

"Oh, and you know what's best for me?" You growled. Your hurt turned to annoyance and anger.

"Yes, I do. I'm your brother."

Sam and Jack gave each other looks. It was bad when Sam and Dean argued, but when you and Dean argued, it was catastrophic.

"And John was my dad, and he never knew what was best for me! That doesn't mean anything!"

"Oh, so family doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Dean, come on man, you know that's not what she meant." Sam tried to reason.

"Stay out of it, Sam!" Dean yelled.

You could tell Sam was growing annoyed with Dean. His frown deepened, his eyes hardened, and his hand began to twitch.

"No! I won't stay out of it. I am tired of you mistreating Jack and Y/n!"

"Oh, I do not mistreat them!" Dean argued. "Jack, do I mistreat you?" Jack seemed uncomfortable being put on the spot. You knew he looked up to Dean, but Dean had also said some rather hurtful things about Jack.

While Sam, Dean, and Jack continued their argument, you were able to slip away unnoticed.

You were crying now, the thought of dying scared the crap out of you. And your brothers and Jack arguing didn't help the situation.

You looked around the parking lot, looking for something to hotwire. You came across a black Harley Davidson Dyna Super Glide Sport. And the dumbass was stupid enough to leave the keys in the ignition.

You started the engine, listening to the bike purr. You threw back the kickstand and began driving. You didn't know where you were going, all you knew was that you had to get out of there.

You weren't stupid, of course, you had your gun and a silver dagger just in case.

You planted both of your feet on the ground at a stop light. You were still crying, and you couldn't figure out why. You were just so angry.

You ended up stopping at a small dive bar outside of Little Rock. There were a total of ten people there, and most were men.

You flag down the bartender and order a beer. Around twenty minutes later, a man slide in the seat beside you. He said nothing as he ordered a drink. The man seemed so familiar to you, but you couldn't put your finger on it. He had curly, dark brown hair, and beautiful blue-grey eyes. He was handsome in all aspects of the word. But he was nothing compared to Jack.

"I've never seen you here before." He said to you.

"Oh, I uh - I'm just passing through." You gave him a tight smile.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You grabbed it, looking down to see that Dean's as calling you. You sent him to voicemail, something that was bound to piss him off.

"Guy troubles?" The man inquired.

"More like brother troubles." You laughed. "I'm Y/n, by the way."

"Elliott." He smiled, showing off a gleaming row of white teeth. "So, what's going on with your brother?"

"Brother's, actually. They treat me like a baby, just because they're older than me."

"That's what brothers are supposed to do." Elliott shrugged. "They're supposed to look out for you, protect you." Your phone rang again, this time, it was Sam. You sent him to voicemail as well and put your phone on silent.

"Yeah, I guess." You agreed. "But -" You cut yourself off, not wanting to dump all your feeling onto this random stranger.

"But what?" He asked, curious to what your response was.

"There's this guy, this amazing, wonderful, sweet and funny guy. He cares about me, and I care about him, but my oldest brother, he thinks we shouldn't be with each other." You confessed, taking a sip of your beer.

"Is he respectful towards you?" You nodded. "He cares about you and treats you right?" You nodded once more. "Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know." You mumbled. "My brother just doesn't trust him, even though he has no reason not to."

"Call it a brother's intuition." Elliott grinned. You blinked as your vision began to blur. "Hey, you okay?" You let out a slurred response. "Let's get you some air." Elliott helped you out of your chair and outside. You felt the cold air nip at your cheeks, making you feel a thousand times better.

Your head began to spin, the world shifting around you. "I don't feel so well." You groaned. Your body went limp, and the last thing you felt was a pair of strong arms wrapping around you to keep you from falling.

.

. .

. . .

"Guys!" Jack yelled over Sam and Dean, trying to catch their attention. "GUYS!" Jack's eyes flared orange, finally getting Sam and Dean to stop arguing. "Where's Y/n?"

Sam and Dean looked around the room frantically. Jack looked into the bathroom and found nothing. "Damnit!" Dean growled. "How could she have left without us noticing?!"

"Well, you and Sam were rather angry, I think it was very easy for her to slip away." Dean glared at Jack.

"So help me God, if a single hair on her head is out of place, all hell will break loose, and it'll be on you." Sam sighed, shaking his head.

Dean dialed your phone number, looking apprehensive. "Y/n, I swear if you sent me to voicemail on purpose, I am going to kill you! Answer me, damnit!"

"Let me try." Sam mumbled. "Y/n, please call and let us know you're okay. We're worried."

"I can find her." Jack said hopefully. He closed his eyes, searching for any sign of you. He saw you sitting next to a guy in a bar, he saw the man put something in your drink, and he saw you pass out outside of the bar.

Jack grew angry. He knew what happened to you was wrong, he could feel you were in distress. "She's in trouble."

.

. .

. . .

"Wakey wakey, sunshine!" Elliott cheered as he threw water on your face. You gasped, bolting awake. You found that you were bound in a chair, the thick rope cutting into your skin. You looked around to see that you were in some kind of a abandoned building.

You were relieved to see that you still had on all your clothes. "I was worried for a second. I thought I might have given you too high of a dose for your body."

"You roofied me." You groaned.

"I did! But you have to understand, Y/n, I would have never gotten you out of there otherwise. You're one of the strongest sacrifices I've ever had."

"Eros." You said in realization.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" Eros almost seemed happy by the situation. "You are going to be one of the best sacrifices I've had. A hunter with a strong heart full of compassion and pure love. The perfect candidate."

"Please," You whimpered. "Let me go."

Eros sucked in a breath, faking remorse. "You see, I wish I could. . . But I can't. I need you. Ever since the last sacrifice escaped, I've been looking for a new one. And then your brother's, boy wonder and you roll into town. I knew as soon as I saw you that you were perfect. Almost too perfect."

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. "Please. I don't want to die. I'm only 21, there's so much things I haven't done yet. Let me live." You pleaded.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Eros grinned, pulling up a chair in front of you, sitting with his chest on the back of the chair. "I was actually looking for a wife." He gave you a wicked grin that made you squirm in your seat. "I need an heir, or heiress, I don't discriminate. I just want someone to pass my powers off to, to teach. So, I can let you live if you agree to be my wife."

"Rot in hell." You spat, disgusted by the thought of marrying Eros. He grew annoyed, as he punched you, your head snapping back.

"That's too bad." Eros shook his head. "But, at least I'll get to enjoy killing you."

You watched in horror as Eros' fingernails grew into sharp, claw-like hands, almost like a werewolves. You screamed in pain as he drew his finger over your face. "Shh, shh, love. It's gonna be okay." You gave out a small cry, struggling against the ropes.

"The more you struggle, the more it's going to hurt." Eros said in a singsong voice.

You began whispering apologies in your head, to Sam, Dean, Jack, Cas, Rowena, everyone. There were so many unfinished words, so many unsaid 'I love you's,'

"I'm sorry." You whispered. You screamed out once more as Eros dug his nails into your chest.

"Y/N!" You heard Dean yell. Sam, Dean and Jack appeared from behind a crate, your brothers carrying guns, and we'll, Jack himself was a weapon.

"Ah, ah, ah." Eros grinned wickedly. "I am holding her life in the palm of my hand; literally. So put down those shiny guns, and step away from them." Sam and Dean looked at each other. Eros scowled as he dug his nails deeper into your skin. You cried out in pain, feeling his nails getting closer to your heart.

"Alright! Alright!" Sam said hastily, setting down his gun and stepping away, encouraging Dean to do the same.

You were quite the sight for the men. You had blood coating your clothes, a bruised eye from the blows that Eros landed earlier, your hair was a mess and you face was streaked with tears.

"Get away from her!" Jack bellowed.

"Oh, look, it's your lover boy." Jack's words only made Eros angrier, as he retracted his hand, and swiped his claws over your face, creating four long gashes.

"I said get away from her!" Jack's eyes began to glow orange, and he trembled with anger. Eros looked frightened as he was sent flying back into the wall.

Sam and Dean surged forward, both carrying a wooden stake dipped in lambs blood, while Jack went to help you.

"It's okay," He whispered. "I've got you." You gave out a small whimper as he cut the ropes. "Can you stand?" You tried to stand up with the help of Jack, but your knees buckled beneath you. Jack scooped you up in his arms. You buried your head in his chest, turning away from you brothers, who were currently killing Eros.

"Take me home." You mumbled before darkness enveloped you.

.

. .

. . .

When you awoke, you were in your bed at the bunker, surrounded by Cas, Sam, Dean, Jack and Rowena.

"Y/n." Dean breathed a breath of relief as he hugged you. You winced in pain, your body still sore from you attack. "I am so sorry. I never should have said those things to you. I'm so glad you're okay."

"It's okay, Dean." You assured him. Even though you said you were fine, there was still pain swimming in his eyes.

"We couldn't heal your wounds with magic," Rowena informed you. "Since Eros was the one to injure you, it will have to heal naturally. I did make you some herbs that will stop the pain, however."

"Thanks, Rowena." You smiled. The room began emptying out, everyone wanted to let you rest. Jack, however, didn't leave your side.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." He whispered.

"Why are you sorry?" You asked, squeezing his hand.

"I let you get hurt. I should have gotten there sooner." You saw there were tears in his eyes. You frowned as you scooted over.

"Come lie beside me." Jack hesitantly climbed into the bed, pushing aside the covers. You wrapped your arms around his middle and rested your head on his chest. "You got me out of there when you did. I'm okay, and that's all that matters."

"But-"

You cut Jack off with a kiss. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." You mumbled, cupping his cheek. "I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that." Jack nodded, pulling you closer to his body. You decided to put on a movie as you and Jack cuddled. Halfway through the movie, you ended up falling asleep. Jack didn't sleep that often, but he felt so at peace that he fell asleep as well.

When everyone came to check on you again, their hearts melted at the sight of you and Jack. "Oh, just look at them." Rowena whispered to the men. "They're so cute."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "They are."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List: @mila-dans @blairrrose

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter four - mri’s & other modern commodities

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.8k

synopsis: bucky faces his first day of treatment, and discovers some new things along the way: some scary, some awesome, some maybe slightly embarassing.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: not my gif

When he woke up, he scanned his room, making sure everything was the same as how he left it the night before. Making sure no one came in while he was asleep and poisoned his brain. Making sure he was waking up in his living quarters in Wakanda and not a damp cell in some secret Hydra base. It was just something he did now.

Some may call it paranoia, others may call it adaptation. Either way, once he stepped outside and made sure he was alone, he allowed himself to take a breath.

Today was the day, the first day of official treatment. He had no idea what to expect; he was just hoping to high heavens that it would end up working. Freedom. That's all he wanted. Liberation from the chains Hydra had had around him since he fell from the train all those years ago.

He was apprehensive for sure, but he tried his best to keep himself optimistic. Bucky was sure that Shuri was smarter than any Hydra scientist he once came in contact with. So, if they can tear apart his mind, perhaps she can put it back together. Right?

Her in addition to (Y/N). That psychologist woman. He had spoken to her the day before at the lake. She was funny, and she seemed decently easy to talk to. That's a good sign, he guessed. She told him that she hadn't minded relocating to assist in his treatment, but he honestly couldn't make out her true feelings. She was rather hard to read. Perhaps it was a psychologist thing; he tried not to look too far into it.

He waited outside his door until two Wakandans came to escort him to Shuri. Bucky noticed they were armed. Guards. He wasn't surprised nor did he blame them. However, that didn't make it any easier to trust. He hadn't had that luxuy in a very long time. The former assassin fought against the voice in the back of his head telling him to analyze their every move in order to ensure that he wasn't in any danger. That any minute they weren't going to strap him down and rip his brain apart the way it had been so many times before. So many times. He gave the slightest wince at the thought. His brain suddenly felt prickly, painful memories creeping up on him.

Not now, don't think about it.

Sometimes, if he fixated on the thoughts for too long, he would drive himself to this panicked state of fear and constriction. He wasn't sure exactly what this thing was. All he knew was that these things - these episodes - were extremely unpleasant, and utterly unnecessary at the moment.

He shook his head (somehow hoping that this would rid him of the prickly memories like a dog shaking off water), strands of long brown hair swaying quickly in front of his eyes, and fixed his gaze to the floor.

Floor. Floor. Floor. Floor. Just the floor. The floor. The floor. The floor-

"Sergeant Barnes!" Shuri welcomed him happily.

Oh. He was in the lab now. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Let's do this.

"Good morning," he smiled, "and just Bucky's okay."

"Of course, of course. This is my lab! Best place in Wakanda in my humble opinion. Today's only the first day of treatment, so nothing too intensive. But, we will be working all the same!"

He glanced around the lab. The guards were at the doorway and they didn't look like they were leaving anytime soon. Again, he wasn't surprised. Moreover, sitting at a table a few feet from Shuri, was a familiar face. This familiar face soon met his gaze.

"Hi, Bucky" (Y/N) greeted, offering a polite smile. "See! I remembered this time."

Bucky grinned. "Are you still (Y/N), or is it Dr. (Y/L/N) since we're in the lab now?"

"I'm always (Y/N)."

"I don't know, if I went to school for as long as you did, I'd make everyone call me Doctor," Shuri added.

(Y/N) laughed. "Well, if you want to call me Doctor you're more than welcome, Shuri."

"That's the spirit, Doc," she declared before turning to Bucky. "Now, follow me and we'll get a quick MRI done."

"A what?" He quickly caught up to Shuri who already started walking away.

"An MRI. It stands for magnetic resonance imaging. Basically, scanners use strong magnetic fields, magnetic field gradients, and radio waves to generate images of the organs in the body."*

Yes, very basic.

(Y/N) leaned over to Bucky, explaining softly, "It's used to form pictures of the anatomy and the physiological processes of the body."**

"Oh."

"You just lay down and it scans you. Y'don't even feel anything."

"Thats... not too bad, I guess."

"It's a bit of a tight fit though, so I hope you're aren't claustrophobic."

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, after cryo, I doubt tight spaces will be too much of a bother for me."

"Right," said (Y/N), "but it's still decently in your personal space. Just so you know - so there's no surprises."

He nodded. They didn't say anything until Shuri stopped short in front of them. She stood a couple feet from a shiny metal table which was lined up in front of an equally shiny and metallic semi-cricle arch. It was long enough to fit - well, would you look at that - a body.

"Oh. I guess there is a surprise," (Y/N) blurted, turning to Shuri, confused. "That isn't like any MRI machine I've ever seen."

"That's because you're in Wakanda," Shuri flashed a proud smile. "Tech's a bit... advanced here."

(Y/N) turned to Bucky. He thought he saw something resembling self consciousness flow across her features, but he wasn't sure.

"Sorry, I guess I was wrong. But, honestly this is way better than a typical MRI set up. It's much more open... and wide. Regularly, it would be like a super narrow tube with hardly any space inside. This way, you'll even be able to see us and the rest of the room."

That's good. More space. More freedom. And he'll be able to see her- them, see them.

Shuri clapped. "Alright! Shall we get started then?"

He had no idea how any of this worked; he was way out of his element here. He just barely learned what a damn MRI was, and had to hide his shock when he found out. Medicine has changed dramatically since 1945. Although it is helpful, he is completely clueless. Great.

"Do I jus-just lay on the table?" He asked, unsure.

"Yep! Just lie there and be absolutely still, and I'll do the rest," Shuri replied, reassuringly as she walked around to a control panel next to the machine, preparing to start.

Bucky took his place on the thin metal table, and he thought he was seeing things. Was it was levitating? Honestly, from what he's seen so far he wouldn't even be surprised. He stared up at the ceiling, getting lost in thought. A string of various questions and uncertainties fluttered through his battered mind.

Would the metal arm interfere with the magnet- oh. Right. No arm. Just a scan, no need to worry. (Y/N) said it would be fine. Can I even trust her Then again, can I even trust anyone yet? She's the best I got right now. Damn it, I wish I wasn't so wary of everyone.

"Hey," a gentle voice pulled him out.

He looked over to the left of him, the side with no arm. (Y/N).

"I can practically hear your brain whirring around right now - which is justified - but do you need anything?"

'Do you need anything?' He hadn't heard that phrase in a while.

He adjusted his body on the table. "I'm alright, just... a bit out of my element here."

She nodded, knowingly. "Honestly, me too. This lab looks like somethin' out of a sci-fi movie for me, so I can't imagine what it must feel like to you."

She was looking down at him. He felt vulnerable, exposed. It seemed like she noticed.

"Here, I have an idea."

With that, she turned and grabbed something from a nearby table. Rotating around to face him again, she displayed what she had taken: a pair of headphones... but without a wire? What the hell?

"Are they broken?" he asked, feeling perpetually confused.

"No, they're wirelessly connected to my phone. It's called bluetooth."

The look on his face was almost laughable.

"Bluetooth? What kind of name is Bluetooth?"

"The kind of name that I didn't invent nor should I be blamed for," she chuckled. "Do you want to listen to music while you're in there? It might help to keep you down on Earth with us."

Music. The thought was almost surreal. He hadn't been privileged with such a pleasure in longer than he'd care to admit. It actually seemed... nice.

"Y-yeah," he said, pondering. "That'd actually be nice."

"Awesome."

She leaned over him to put the headphones on his ears, causing him a very conflicting series of emotions.

First of all, close. She was very close to his face. His face, his eyes, his nose, his lips. It almost seemed a tad bit intimate. And then he realized he hadn't been this close to a woman in forever. A real woman, not some fellow assassin he had to take out. He hoped the shy embarrassment he felt didn't show on his cheeks.

Second of all, she was wrapping something around his head, his brain. He tried not to, but he couldn't stop the muscle memory of what he'd been conditioned to feel. Hydra's machine would wrap around his head and rip his psyche apart. His mind expected pain, the worst pain, the dehumanizing, out of body, mind splitting pain. He hoped the way he flinched ever so slightly didn't offend (Y/N).

She didn't seem offended, and her voice was soft. "You're good. Just music and a scan. Then you're done."

He looked up at her face, reassuring and calm. He took a deep breath.

"Good?" she asked.

He nodded. "Think so."

"If it's too much at any point just let us know, and we'll pull you right out. It's your comfort level, your choice."

His choice. Choice. Control. The prospect gave him comfort.

She gave him one last look before stepping away and signaling Shuri to start the machine. The seemingly levitating table began a smooth descent into the machine when the music started playing. It almost startled him, but he then he was pleasantly surprised by what he heard.

There were loud drums, guitar riffs with attitude, and voices that had so much emotion they were almost screaming. It was like no music he had ever heard before, and he loved it. In fact, he was so into it that he didn't even notice when the MRI had finished. That is, until he felt a feather light hand on his shoulder. His eyes opened, and (Y/N) had the biggest grin on her face. While taking the headphones off of him, she looked very pleased with herself.

She looked at Shuri but declared to no one in particular, "Bucky likes Rock and Roll!"

- - -

* = from wikipedia

** = from wikipedia

[feelin-woozy]

Ok so I've never rlly done an ask before so sksk idk if this would be an odd request. Can I get some hc for the main 6 w an mc struggling w addictions (drugs, alcohol) and how they'd handle them?

TW: Substance abuse! I always have so much to say for these asks and it gets a bit messy and long so I apologize for that!!

Asra

When he first finds out, it’s hard for him. Maybe he’s had his suspicions but didn’t wanna call you out on it just in case he was wrong. Because that could get ugly.  

I don’t know how long he could stay with you if you weren’t willing to get better. Just watching you slowly kill yourself after he worked so hard to bring you back. It would break his heart to see you like that.

Encourages you to let him get you help but doesn’t force it upon you. He wants you to get better for yourself, not for anyone else. Though he’s obviously going to strongly push for you to get better.

Even when you fall of the wagon, you can see he’s disappointed but he never verbalizes it or makes it shameful. He always assures you that it’s okay and it doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

He just holds your hand through the ups and the downs.

I’d imagine he’d take you on some trip for some time. Maybe you guys go to Nopal for awhile to get you through the first bit away from any temptations.

Nadia

When she first finds out, she’s upset and shocked. Maybe a bit that you didn’t tell her but she also understands why you wouldn’t. If she just catches you high/consistently hammered, that’s one thing but if she caught you stealing from her to afford your habit that’s another. That would spark a whole new fight.

Would naturally be upset by this, doesn’t judge you in any sort of way but it’s hard to see your loved ones in such a state. It’s the stealing that she has issues with, just seeing what addictions could drive you to hurts a lot.

If you didn’t want to get better, ho, that’s a tough one. On one hand maybe she’d kick you out of the palace because she doesn’t want to enable you. On the other hand, she doesn’t want to put you on the streets. So I think she’d just have someone baby sit you and try and limit her contact with you.

Not that she doesn’t want to see you but it hurts so much to see you like that and every time she sees you and you refuse to get better, it just salts the wounds.

Encourages you to let her get you help, will find you the best of care and be with you every step of the way. Watching you withdraw would 

Tbh out of all of them I think she’d be the most likely to be ill-equip to deal with this. Yes she can get you splendid help but I don’t think she’s really been around addicts save for like Valerius but he’s a functioning addict. (So if you’re like Val, she might not realize it’s a problem.)

Wants to educate herself and understand your struggles and tbh coming out of this, I could so see her opening up some sort of treatment center in Vesuvia because she’s seen what addiction has done to you. She wants to be able to help others as well.

Julian

Mm is it bad if I say that he’d be kind of an enabler? Not intentionally of course but I have headcanons that he himself struggles with alcohol addiction.

Maybe seeing you struggle so much with whatever substance you’re using is what makes him realize how bad of shape he’s in too. His logic is how can he help you when he can hardly help himself.

So he proposes the idea of getting better together.

If you didn’t want to get better, he might fall into that and spiral with you till Portia and or Mazelinka are like whoa, hold your horses and attempt to drag you out of the pit you two dug.

If he decides to get better and you don’t, he’s really upset. He knows you’re bad for him and he’s caught between needing to leave you for his own recovery and wanting to stay with you because you have his heart.

Oh fuck, imagine if you were stealing medical shit from Julian and got addicted to that.

That would piss him off, I think that’s one of the few times you’d truly piss any of the LIs off with an addiction. Sure they’d get frustrated but when it comes to theft, that’s smth else.

He would not only be angry//disappointed with you but with himself for not catching it sooner, not looking up his stuff. 

Would be adamant on you getting clean because he sure as hell isn’t going to be supplying you with junk to get high.

Just so fucking worried about you, especially if you’ve resorted to stealing his medicinal stuff.

Portia

It depends what your addicted to. 

She’s less likely to notice if you drink a lot bc she grew up around Mazelinka and Julian and they live the pirate life style of drinking all the time. So unless you’re constantly falling over drunk, she won’t really notice much.

Of course if she realizes you have a problem, she’s going to encourage you to get help. It’d be hard for her but she’d offer to kick drinking more or less with you. Or at the very least she wouldn’t drink around you. 

If it’s something else, she’s gunna be a bit more adamant on you getting clean. Not in a pushy way just concerned. Like if she catches you strung out, she’s gunna be very worried.

If you didn’t want to get clean, I don’t know how long she would put up with that. She’s a busy woman and doesn’t have the time to baby sit you as you spend your time getting drunk//high. She’ll make the time to get you help but if you just spit in her face when it comes to getting clean, she wants to save herself some heartache.

Might be like ‘Go see Asra, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.’ If she did this though, she’s going to be talking to him regularly because she still cares so deeply for you and your well being.

Muriel

Tbh I think he would be the best for you out of everyone.

In the sense that he would get you away from your life, you aren’t going to be ending up at the bar or scoring when you’re in a hut in the forest. And generally, when getting clean they suggest you cut out all those old factors and go somewhere fresh so I think Muriel would be super beneficial in getting clean.

He would take good care of you too. Living on the streets, he’s probably seen this kinda shit. I imagine him trying to shelter Asra from it too, like just imagine they’re walking and pass by someone slumped over strung out and Asra’s asking questions and Muriel’s just like ‘he’s just sleeping.’ or whatever and bc Asra is so young he just kinda accepts it.

If you didn’t want to get clean, well that’s another story. I don’t think you’d be really welcome around his hut and i don’t think you’d go there often either. That’s not anywhere near where you could get high/drunk so you’d have to need to.

It would break Muriel’s heart as you slowly stopped coming by. He would check up with Asra often to make sure you’re okay and I think Asra and him would try and sit you down for an intervention.

Lucio

Hm this one is tricky. Because I see him as a bit of a party animal, he throws these extravagant parties where he just goes ham right? So I’d imagine that he’d engage in some rec drug use every now and again. So he wouldn’t wanna seem like this kill joy for calling you on your problem.

But he’d be actually so worried for you because ‘Hey, I like to have fun too but this is a little excessive.’

He’s the most pushy in your seeking help. Refuses to support your habit and that might start some fights between you but he refuses to let you use him like that.

That said, he doesn’t judge you at all for your addictions. Everything he’s doing is out of worry and fear of losing you. He might not go about it delicately but he just wants.

Even when you relapse or smth and you expect him to pick a fight over it. That doesn’t happen, he just picks you up and helps you get back on your way again.

If you didn’t want to get clean, I think he’d actually kick you out. I don’t think this is the right thing to do at all but he was raised with tough love so he might revert back to that? He’s a softie though he’d be worried about you every second and would likely go back on kicking you out.and pull a Nadia where he just has someone watching over you.