#I've never had the right to miss anyone. I always love too hard. far more than is reciprocated at least

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I don't know how to write this without it being horribly obvious who I'm writing about

[theelazaruspit]

Lazy Sunday | Husband!John Price x Author!Reader

Getting some much-needed stress relief from your doting husband

Warning/content: 18+, mdni, smut, fem!reader, gentle dom!price, established relationship, porn with plot, slow(ish) burn, angst, hurt/comfort, reader wears glasses, discussion of self-doubt and insecurity, cunnilingus, fingering, dumbification if you squint? (You’re just really relaxed), creampie, squirting, no use of y/n, they’re grossly in love idk what else to tell you honestly, but if I missed anything, let me know! Word count: 4.9k.

A/N: This has been in my drafts for ages, and I've been chipping away at it slowly, but after seeing @ghosts-cyphera 's husband!price drabble, I rose from the metaphorical dead, and here we are, so thank you, Alora, for being a fellow price enjoyer and just a gem, and I hope you all enjoy <3

Everything was just too much.

You’re stiff, jaw clenched, shoulders tense, and you can feel a migraine forming between your eyes. It’s a little ridiculous, really. By all accounts, you should be more relaxed. The hard work was finished, your novel was complete, the accompanying art had been chosen, and all the finer details were squared away; now, all that was left was publishing, though that was the publisher’s headache, not yours. It was the waiting that always got to you.

No matter how many times you’d gone through the process, no matter how many works you published, the anticipation never failed to eat away at you. There is a special kind of stress that comes with releasing your art into the world, in having people get a glimpse into your mind. While it’s gratifying to share your hard work with the masses, once it leaves you, it’s no longer only your own, and others are free to interpret it as they please. It’s deeply personal and scary like you’re bearing your soul to the public, but what’s done is done. All the late nights spent writing were over, and now you’re alone with your thoughts again. 

You’ve tried everything to keep yourself busy. Your office is far cleaner now than it was before your husband left, both of your laundry was done with all the garments being put in their rightful place, and there was a cake on the counter from your late-night baking excursion a few days ago. 

All of your usual distractions failed you. Nothing has been able to loosen the knot coiling itself in your chest. It’s silly; this is not your first book. The first was well received, a fact you should be grateful for, and you are. However, its success set a precedent. What if this one wasn’t as good? What if it didn’t live up to everyone’s expectations? The more questions you considered, the more withdrawn you became, allowing your doubts to swallow you whole. And that’s how you ended up back where you started, staring blankly at an empty document. You (foolishly) believed that writing could help, thinking a fresh idea would clear your conscience, but nothing comes. So you sit, hoping for anything to inspire you, but all you hear is the voice in the back of your head taunting you. 

For a fleeting moment, you consider seeking the comfort of your husband; however, you quickly decide against it. 

Not at all because you didn’t think he could soothe you. If anything, he knows better than anyone else how to keep you grounded, but you’re painfully aware of how rare it is for John to get time off, and it would be unfair to take that much-needed relaxation away from him with your problems. Still, you yearn for the solace he provides you. It’s absurd to miss someone who’s a mere twenty feet away, someone you could easily see. But, you stubbornly resist the temptation to steal his time, even if you know he’d want you to. He was insistent that you could never bother him, but you still had your doubts. 

Compared to everything he goes through, your insecurities are small and insignificant; you can handle this on your own, even though you feel your eyes beginning to dry the longer you stare at the bright white void in front of you. A long groan escapes you as you toss your glasses unceremoniously onto your desk (had they fallen? You couldn’t be bothered to check) before burying your head in your hands. 

“You’ve got this,” You mutter to yourself. It’s hardly convincing. Did you actually have this? You’re not entirely sure, but it doesn’t hurt trying.

You’re unsure how long you wallowed before your husband appeared in the doorway. Despite being uncharacteristically patient given the circumstances, you knew it was only a matter of time before he’d come to you. Rarely would you hide away in your office while he was home; usually, you’d rushed into his arms to steal his warmth every opportunity you got, but he tried to be understanding. Having him back in the house was just as much of an adjustment for you as it was for him, and he wanted to be considerate of that. Though his comings and goings had slowed considerably over the span of your relationship, he knew they still weighed on you, and he also knew you’d sooner die than admit that, so he gave you space.

But after another hour passes, his patience wears thin. This was a while even for you, and he wanted to make sure you were alright. So, ever the diligent lover, he prepares you a peace offering, a perfectly brewed cup of your favorite tea, and heads to your door. 

His suspicions that you weren’t as well off as you claimed are confirmed when he’s greeted with the back of your hunched-over form, papers strewn across your desk. It takes one glance at you for John to know the kind of evening you’re having despite your best efforts to hide it. The stress practically radiates off you, casting a thick layer of tension in the room. The last thing he wants is to startle you, so he watches, waiting for you to acknowledge his presence. But the longer he rests against the doorframe, the sooner he realizes you haven’t noticed him yet, another sign that something isn’t quite right. 

You didn’t have to say anything for him to know what you were thinking. He can practically hear the voices in your head lying to you, slowly breaking you down, and he feels his heart clench. It’s times like this when he wishes your mind was kinder to you, that it afforded you the same kindness you so freely gave others. He also wished you would let him help you. Your independence has always been something he admired and was one of the first things he noticed that drew him to you. You were radiant, ethereal, having an air of confidence and grace about you that followed you wherever you went, practically lighting your path. 

However, your independence made it difficult for you to depend on him. He told you no fewer than a million times, practically pleaded with you to let him shoulder your burdens, to tell you that no problem was too small to tell him about, and while you’d opened up over the years, he could see that your walls were up. Nevertheless, he would do everything he could to chip away at them, to take you out of your head for a while.

He walks over to you slowly, placing the mug down before lightly rubbing your shoulders. You know he’s there, immediately feeling comforted by his presence, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. You don’t want him to see you like this, not while you look like a sad puppy, but he persists, taking your silence as an invitation to speak.

“Made you some tea, love,” he says softly, receiving only a muffled hum of acknowledgment. Undeterred, he keeps massaging your shoulders, applying a bit more pressure, a soft smile gracing his features when you lean into his touch. His movements are slow intentional, wanting to ease you into the feeling. 

He doesn’t have to look at your face, which has since been laid flat on your desktop, to know your brows are furrowed, and he wants nothing more than to smooth away the creases with his fingers. 

Instead, he turns your chair to face him, forcing you to pick your head up. He ignores the whine you let out upon realizing that he’s not going to let you bask in your sadness in peace, as well as the glare you give him as you put your glasses on. There’s no malice behind your gaze, and he can see you fighting back a smile, causing his grin to widen.

“Good morning, lovely.” 

“It’s not morning, and I probably look like shit” You sigh.

You’re right; it wasn’t morning, but the latter was far from the truth. John loved you in all your forms, but this, you at home in your comfy clothes, was one of the most beautiful sights he’d ever seen, even if you were being a little grouchy. He doesn’t take it personally. No, he knows you’re frustration is with yourself, which only motivates him to relax you more. 

He doesn’t ask if you’re okay; you both know you aren’t, so he settles with a more helpful question: asking what you need. It’s more a formality than anything because he already knows the answer. It’s clear you don’t want to talk because if you did, you would have by now. He’s no stranger to nights spent holding you, listening to you vent about everything troubling you as you lay your head on his chest, and while he welcomes your rambles, you’re too tangled up in your thoughts to get the words out. 

No, you needed something else. You needed a break; you needed someone you trusted to take control for a while, and who was better suited for the task than him? You both knew he wouldn’t move until you asked him to because even when he’s in control, he’s still at your mercy. 

You don’t answer him immediately, not that he expected you to. For all his gentle coaxing, the question was surprisingly direct, and it caught you off guard. You know what you want. You want to climb into bed, wrap yourself in blankets, and sleep, and no matter how much you try to deny it, you also want to melt into your husband’s touch while you do. But with how restless you are, that seems impossible. To do that, first, you would need to relax, something you’re notoriously bad at. John would be eager to assist, to soothe the storm that rages within you, but you also know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t help you if you didn’t ask. So, reluctantly, you confess you’re having trouble relaxing, that there are too many thoughts running through your head to turn your brain off. Once you start, it’s as if you’ve opened Pandora’s box and you just break. All the emotions you’ve tried to suppress come pouring out mostly incoherently. In your frenzy, you barely notice that John moved to kneel in front of you until you feel his hand cup your jaw. 

He doesn’t get too close, not wanting to overwhelm you, because he knows how hard this is for you already. 

You’re a lot like him in that way, birds of a feather, he supposes, as you both have difficulty opening up and trusting others. He’s forever humbled by the fact that you, wonderfully amazing you, chose him, and it’s not something he takes for granted. He values all of the time you spend together, even if you aren’t in the best of spirits. God knows he’s had his fair share of melancholic moments that you worked him through, and it is at that moment he is determined to do the same for you, to help you feel better. 

“Shh, it’s alright, love, I have you. There’s nothing you need to worry about. I’ll take care of everything, alright? I’ll give you what you need,” He reassures you in that low timbre you’ve missed so much. Your nod is rewarded with a light kiss on the cheek before he stands up, pulling you up from your chair with him. 

You let out a yelp of surprise when he scoops you up and carries you towards your bedroom. His strength never fails to surprise you, but you don’t have time to dwell on it when he gently places you on the edge of your bed. For the second time tonight, he kneels before you, taking your hands in his while looking you in the eye.

“You know how much I love you, don’t you?” His question is met with a scoff.

“Of course I do. I don’t think there’s anyone in this world that loves me more.”

“Well, I’d certainly hope not. Otherwise, we’d have a problem on our hands.” He chuckles, running his thumb over your knuckles before continuing, “I want you to do something for me. You’re so smart, love, bloody brilliant. But right now, I don’t want you to think. I just want you to feel. Can you do that f’me, angel? Let me make you feel good.” 

You nod as you did before, only this time, you’re met with a shake of his head.

“Need your words, sweetheart”

The “please” that escapes you is more breathless than you expected. He had hardly touched you, and you could already feel a bit dazed by the intensity of his stare. Your soft confirmation is met with a smile before he works you out of your sweats and guides you to lay flat on the bed. He takes his time to press kisses up your thigh, slowly making his way to your center, nipping every now and then, eliciting little gasps from you. And while you appreciate his desire to worship you, you were getting impatient. The sight of him so close to where you need him but not touching you was almost too much to bear. 

Before you can protest, he takes pity on you, slips your panties down, and rewards your patience with a long lick up your slit paired with a chaste kiss to your clit. 

Your moment of reprieve doesn’t last long before he absolutely devours you, laving at your folds without another care in the world. The strokes of his tongue are slow but firm, his mouth practically molded to your form, following you no matter how much you move and shake. He wants to get you used to the feeling, give you time to surrender yourself to him, and you’re starting to. He sees the way you grasp at the sheets, mindlessly looking for something, anything to anchor you, and he’s quick to provide. 

You hadn’t realized how much you were squirming until he pulled back, one calloused hand stroking your inner thigh with the other lacing his fingers with yours while instructing you to relax, reminding you to be good for him, to take all that he’s giving you. You look angelic, eyes rolled back, your body flushed, a sheen of sweat forming, and every touch driving you closer to the edge. But he knows it’s not enough. Had you been calmer and less frazzled, you would have reached your peak already, but right now, you need a push to help you over the edge.

When he takes his hand off your thigh and lets his fingers join his tongue, your back bows. If not for his firm grip, you may have fallen off the bed, but there is no need to worry about that. John’s got you; he always does. 

It’s overwhelming having him so wholly focused on you, feeling his deep, muffled groans against your center, and it’s clear he wasn’t faring much better. 

He may be helping you destress, but you know your husband well enough to know he’s enjoying this as much as you are, if not more. John Price is not a selfish man, far from it. Many have speculated that his selflessness will be his downfall. But, at this moment, he can’t help but think about himself. Can’t help but think about how his cock is straining in his trousers, which are becoming almost distractingly tight, about how he wants nothing more than to pump you full of his cum. But he’s a patient man. He understands that he’ll get there eventually. No, for now, he’s more than happy to have you soaking his beard. What’s important at this moment is getting you to cum on his tongue, on his fingers, because he knows the wetter you are, the easier it’ll be to slip into you, leaving him to settle for grinding himself against the bed for relief, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. 

Despite your whines and pleas for him to speed up, for him to give you more, he knows better. He keeps the same pace, knowing the slow build, while seemingly tortuous, will make you cum that much harder, and that’s exactly what he wants. He wants you boneless, without a single thought that isn’t him and how good he’s making you feel. There was no need to rush, you had all night, and there’s no place he’d rather be than here, with his fingers stuffed in your gorgeous pussy while he laps at your folds.

The sounds you two are making are nothing short of obscene. Your keens and his moans filled the room. And god, you were so fucking wet you were practically leaking down his wrist, and when your moans start rising in pitch, he knows you’re close. All it takes are a few more strokes of fingers before you’re cumming, your body going rigid with a broken sob. John works you through it, lapping up your spend and rubbing barely there circles around your clit to prolong your pleasure while patiently waiting for you to catch your breath. 

When your trembling subsides, he carefully removes his fingers, using his now free hand to smooth over your thighs, murmuring praises about how well you did for him before standing, finally ridding himself of his clothes. You look so beautiful like this, spread out, panting, still glistening with your release. It just makes him want to ruin you, but always the gentleman, he checks in with you first.

“Still with me, love?” he teases, hands soothing at your sides, earning him a laugh, a genuine laugh. One that makes your eyes crinkle, and a chuckle of his own leaves him in response. It’s a good sign; it’s progress, but he knows you’re not entirely unwound yet. He knows you still have more left in you.

You pull him in for a kiss that he eagerly accepts. It’s tender, intimate. You can taste yourself on his lips, and John’s complete and utter reverence for you almost makes you shy. His love for you flows through him and pours into his touch when he deepens the kiss, and you can’t help but lean into it.

“I want more. I need to feel you,” you confess against his lips. 

“How do you want me?” he murmurs, moving to trail kisses down your neck. “Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. All you have to do is ask,” and you know he means it. He’d bring you the moon and the stars if you wished. 

“From behind, I don’t want to think about anything but how good you feel,” you said, pulling away to lay on your stomach before being stopped by John’s hand on your shoulder, turning you towards him. Your momentary confusion quickly dissipates when you realize what he’s doing. 

He’s taking off your glasses. 

Admittedly, in your haze, you’d forgotten you still had them on, so used to the familiar weight, but it makes your heart swell as you watch him place them delicately on your bedside table. It’s such a small gesture, but it’s endearing, and it reminds you how lucky you are to have such an attentive, caring lover, and you can’t help but pull him in for another kiss. John adores the lovestruck look you give him as you pull away, eyes bleary, pupils dilated. And though he could look at it all day, he reluctantly moves away, readjusting you so you’re face down on the bed before slotting himself between your legs.

A contented sigh leaves you as you settle into your plush bedding, feeling thankful you’d insisted on replacing those threadbare monstrosities your husband called “sheets” (he’d huffed and rolled his eyes at your dramatics– “they are not going to rip your skin off” –but deep down he loved them too) and close your eyes, sinking into John’s touch. 

“Ready for me?” He questions, smoothing a hand up your spine, relishing in your shiver.

“Yes, need you to fuck me, John, please,” you breath, and who was he to deny you?

At your confirmation, he pushes in with a languid thrust, pulling you flush against him, giving you time to adjust. He can’t help but let out a low grumble at the view in front of him. He hasn’t even moved yet, and you’re already driving him insane. The feeling of being enveloped by you is indescribable. To be this close, to truly feel you, is unlike anything he’s ever experienced, and judging by the way you’re whimpering and trying to grind yourself back into him, he knows you feel the same. 

He sets a steady pace, unhurried, leisurely, and revels in the quiet mewls you let out. The tension pulling your muscles taut dissipated with every thrust, and John couldn’t be happier because that’s what he wanted. 

He wants to push all of those bad thoughts away. All he wants you to think about is him and how good he’s making you feel and to make you cum over and over until you’re spent. 

“That feel good, love?” he whispers in your ear, his chest pressed to your back.

“Yes, f-fuck s’good,” you gasp out, followed by a broken “I love you” that he returns while quickening his pace, fucking you deeper. He can’t help it, really. Hearing the fondness in your voice makes him want to worship you more, causing him to aim for the spot that always makes you shake, and he knows he’s got it when he hears your high-pitched keen.

You’re begging now, desperate pleas of “Please don’t stop” and “right there,” and he doesn’t need to see your face to know that your eyes are scrunched closed, mouth agape, to know that you look stunning. He wishes he could see your face, to see you when you reach your peak that you’re edging closer and closer to, and he will, but after you cum again for him.

“That’s it, good girl, always takin’ me so well,” he praises. “Take what you need. I won’t stop, promise. Just want to make you feel so good don’t want you to think about anything but cumming. You close f’me, love? Yeah? That pretty little cunt gonna soak my cock?” he questions, lifting your hips to rub your aching clit, knowing all you need is a little pressure to send you over the edge. 

Your words may be muffled, but your responding string of “yes” s are clear as day and only make him rut into you deeper. He needs you to fall over that edge again. Needs you to alleviate all that stress, and when you finally reach your peak with a muted sob of his name, he slows but doesn’t stop, watching in awe of the way you spasm around him, and waits for you to settle. 

You’re more pliant now, a bit hazy with pleasure, but he’s not done with you yet. No, he needs you, his beautiful, distinguished wife, to fully surrender yourself to him and the pleasure he’s bringing you, even if only for a while. All those years ago, he vowed to protect you, even if it’s from yourself, and he plans to do just that. He knows you have one more in you, and he intends to wring it out of you. 

A contented sigh escapes him as he pulls out before gently lifting you and laying you flat on your back once more. And when he sees your face, he’s reminded of just how breathtaking you are. Not that he ever forgot, but it’s a sight he never tires of. You’re one of the most precious beings he’s ever encountered, a goddess whom he’s eternally grateful has chosen to bless him with your presence, but now? Now, you’re glowing. He wishes he could immortalize the image in front of him, your eyes lidded, with a soft, blissed-out grin playing on your lips, but he’s brought back by the sound of your voice.

“You’re staring,” you tease, voice a little hoarse from use as you re-settle your glasses on your face.

“I could never get tired of looking at you, sweetheart,” he responds earnestly, unashamed that he had been caught because he truly could. There was just something about you that brought out such genuine affection in him. You give so much of yourself to others, and it makes him want to do everything in his power to pour the same love back into you. He can’t help but want to fulfill your every need. You deserve the world. Leaning into another kiss, he tries to convey what he can’t through words through his touch.

This is more passionate than the last, but he’s met with the same vigor from you. It’s easy to forget the task at hand, but your soft moans were enough of a reminder that he wasn’t finished with you yet. 

Lowering you back onto the bed, he guides himself into you, a deep groan rumbling in his chest while your mouth falls agape. There’s less pretense this time. You’re more than ready for him to start moving and thank god for it because as patient as he is, he’s only human, and you’re both getting desperate.

And when he pushes your knees towards your chest, laying your legs over his shoulders, the sound you make is borderline pornographic, and it’s then he realizes you may actually be the death of him. Holding himself back is proving more difficult by the second, so he opts for placing kisses on your calves to ground himself. He moves his hands, one going to hold the fat of your thigh for leverage while the other goes to cup your jaw. Any other time, he’d coax you to look at him, applying just enough pressure to make you face him, but he can see how overwhelmed you are.

Peering down at you, gaze unwavering, he sees your eyes barely open, all cloudy and lust blown, and he can’t help but tease you just a little, not that you mind.

“That’s it, this what you needed?” he practically coos at you, voice low and saccharine and growing gruffer by the second. “I haven’t been taking proper care of my angel, have I? No, no, that won’t do. Gotta make up for lost time. Poor thing, havin’ no one to fuck you properly when I’m not around. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” 

You try to answer, you really do, try to tell him you’ve missed him more and that no one makes you feel the way he does, but the words are like lead on your tongue, and your head is starting to feel fuzzy. The steady grind of his hips into yours and the feeling of being completely surrounded by him leaves you breathless, and all you can manage is a high-pitched sob that seems to satisfy him enough, and he keeps the pace. 

“Gonna be good and give me one more? Of course, you’re my perfect girl, always so obedient.” Your responding gasp is immediately met with praise. In truth, at the moment, you’d do just about anything he asked, and you could feel the pressure building quicker, pushing you closer to the edge.

“Don’t look away, love. Wanna see those pretty eyes get all teary for me” he murmurs, words slightly slurred, and you distantly realize he’s not as unaffected as you thought. “Look so good like this, just need you to let go. Can you do that? Gonna be my sweet girl and cum for me. Let go for me, love.” 

His gentle command, his firm grip, the pressure of him inside you paired with the almost feral glint in his eyes do you in, and before you know it, you’re back is arching, and you just gush for him with a soundless scream, soaking your lower halves. John isn’t far behind, and the relief of finally pumping you full is almost too much. You always get so tight when you cum, as if you don’t wanna let him go, so he indulges you, lowering your legs but not pulling out yet, instead opting to lay on top of you. 

For a while, neither of you moves, trying to gain your bearings, filling the room with your soft pants. 

Everything feels so serene, as if you two are the only people in the world. You exhale a contented sigh, eyes closed, relishing in the feeling of John’s body weight atop you.

After some time, he pulls out, shushing your whine of protest with a quick kiss before pulling you into his chest. As you burrow yourself further into him, John wraps you up in his arms. You always get so clingy after, a fact you’re endlessly embarrassed by, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s just another testament to how content, how safe you feel with him, and he cherishes the ability to give you the attention you crave.

Later, he’d clean you up, make you another cup of tea, seeing as the first was abandoned in your haste, get your favorite takeout, and set you up for a lazy night in, but for now, he holds you close. Warmth and exhaustion are seeping into your bones, and you peer up at John through your lashes and utter a quiet “thank you.” 

“No need to thank me, love. I’ll always be here for you,” he reminds, giving you a featherlight kiss on your forehead before continuing, “Get some sleep”

And as you drift off, you can’t help the upturn of your lips. Your mind was quiet, and you finally got the sleep you craved.

[namisweatheria]

I really miss the romance dawn trio where it's Zoro and Nami on either side of Luffy. The monster trio is great and everything but it does make me sad how Sanji took Nami's place. I miss the times when Zoro and Nami would threaten someone simultaneously, weapons drawn in sync. It felt so good in a gender way.

I've only just started thinking about this but I'd love to create things for an AU where Sanji just never gets that strong, and Nami powers up alongside Zoro and Luffy instead. I think it could be good for both Nami and Sanji's characters in different ways.

I think Sanji's whole thing about being made to feel subhuman for not being strong enough could be explored in such an interesting and even more powerful way if he really never got that strong. If he didn't ever have to be the warrior, if just being a cook like he always wanted to be was enough. Of course all the Strawhats contribute to the fights, but if he had more of a supportive role like Chopper that could be so interesting when it comes time to explore his insecurities. Going from 'the standards you were being held to are completely unreasonable and there's nothing wrong with being human' to 'you don't have to be strong at all, it's okay to just be you' could be soooo good. HE WOULD SUFFER SO MUCH MORE. But I think he'd end in an even healthier place. The journey could be so interesting.

AS FOR NAMI!!! She could be more like Zoro, fighting with the words of someone she lost in her mind. Bellemere told her to never lose to anyone, that girls have to strong too. It could be such a good what-if parallel to Kuina. If Kuina had a supportive adult encouraging her that she can be strong too, if her father hadn't been sexist, she could have gone just as far as Zoro does. The proof that her gender never made her inferior fighting right alongside him. God it'd be soooo satisfying and it'd make the message so much stronger. Also, Nami's slow development of becoming braver could be in the forefront. She'd have to fight herself so much harder to constantly be on the front lines. Plus, the comedy of an incredibly powerful person being a scaredycat is too good.

Which of course brings up, what happens to the scaredycat duo? I think the answer is related to what happens to Sanji's advice to Usopp in Water Seven. I think just because AU Sanji isn't strong, that doesn't mean he becomes any more fearful or less likely to put himself in harms way. Instead of the background gag of Nami and Usopp cowering together, it could change to Usopp constantly having to brave the battlefield to drag Sanji back out of it. I think they'd fight a lot, but very differently from Zoro and Sanji's fighting. Usopp gets mad because he doesn't want Sanji to get hurt, and it's hard to be truly hostile to someone with those kind of intentions.

Remember when Usopp reassured Chopper that 'it's okay to run away, just do what you can do'? And some of the others kinda made fun of him, like, 'That's your motto eh Usopp?'. He was telling Chopper what he wanted to hear, but much later we find he didn't really believe it, not when it's for himself. He also told Chopper it's okay when Merry's mast broke under his watch, "because we can replace the mast, but we can't replace you!" I think AU Usopp would be saying this kind of thing to Sanji all the time. They'd be very close. So when Usopp's insecurity gets the better of him in Water Seven, it's a huge betrayal for Sanji specifically. How could he say those things to him if all this time, he didn't really mean them? If it's not true for Usopp, where does that put Sanji?

It could go a lot of other ways too, though. Maybe their close relationship based on not being the strongest and being okay with it together would enable Sanji to talk Usopp down from leaving. Or, bad version, Sanji could take it just as personally as Usopp does, since Usopp is to him what Merry is to Usopp, and they both leave. God, they'd all be so heartbroken. Lots to think about...

As for Nami, I think she'd be a lot closer with Zoro. They'd be bickering all the time, but it would have that trust that Zoro and Luffy have underneath it. That if one of them needs a break, the other is there to pick up the slack. This is already their dynamic in a different way, both acting as secondary leaders, keeping things from getting too out of control. To me the best example of that is Whiskey Peak, when they're the only two who weren't fooled. I think it would help both of them retain their silliness if they were always on equal footing, fighting side-by-side. Some of my favorite East Blue moments are the couple of times they played jokes on the others together, and I think we'd see a lot more of that. When you trust the person next to you to be perfectly in-step with you, it's a lot easier to have fun even in dangerous situations.

I think especially Zoro needs help keeping his goofy side, and for Nami it'll help her get over her fears to have her reliable best friend right there egging her on. I just think they'd have a lot of fun!

Nami & Usopp, Zoro & Sanji, they're both fun dynamics, but I'd love to switch it up. There's just so much possibility to explore...

[bteezxyewriter12]

Too Many Belts

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 2.3k

Includes- Wall sex, cock riding, missionary, squirting, wild sex, slow sex, love making, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes

Gif Credit- @yosang

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Seonghwa Masterlist

Seonghwa POV

"What the actual fuck?", she growls as she tries to undo one of the belts I have on for the performance and failing

To be fair we're both riled up and are desperately trying to get each other naked

She got my shirt off but the pants are proving to be a fucking problem we don't have time for

I have some time before they announce the winner for the show but we also don't want anyone talking or spreading rumors

No one but the guys know I have a girlfriend

Not yet

So it'd be bad if me and a hairstylist from our team is missing for too long

"Who the fuck decided to put these many belts on you?", she says frustratedly, "That person needs to be fired"

"I don't know jagi", I whine, already groping her ass

I got her naked easily

She just had a shirt, bra, leggings and panties

No complicated belts

"These fucking things aren't even connected to you pants!", she exclaims

I don't care, I want her right now

"Baby", I murmur

"Fuck it. I just need your dick"

She undoes the jeans and pulls them down along with my boxers

Getting out of them, I kick them away while reaching for her

She shoves the belts higher up my waist on to my stomach just as I lift her up and hold her against the wall

I can't wait anymore

Crashing my lips to hers, I desperately drink in her kiss as I guide my cock to her wet hole

Thrusting hard, I bottom out in one stroke, buried so deep inside her

She moans in my mouth, her arms clinging to my neck as I immediately begin to move, pounding into her tight cunt over and over

The feeling of her opening up around my cock, pulling me inside, throbbing desperately is fucking phenomenal

I've never felt as much pleasure as I do with her

Snapping my hips harder, I fuck into her waiting cunt, feeling her cream my cock so much

She's so wet, I feel it soaking my lap and dripping down my legs

I wouldn't be surprised if the floor is wet too

I slam right into her spot and she breaks the kiss, yelling my name

"Seonghwa! Oh god Seonghwa!"

"Mm jagi", I murmur, pressing kiss after kiss to her gorgeous neck

"So big Hwa", she whimpers, "So fucking good"

"Yeah baby, so good", I answer, listening to the constant soaking wet sound of my cock entering her pussy, "Do you hear how wet your pussy is? How fucking loud your cunt is? Making me wanna listen to it all fucking day, everyday"

So far I have

Ever since we got together nine months ago, I've fucked her everyday and she's always this wet, always wants me as much as I want her

"I think my jagi's pussy loves my cock", I smirk against her neck, "Do you feel how you suck me right back inside you? Do you feel how hard you clench on my cock to keep me inside you when I pull back. You want my cock inside you all the time, don't you baby?"

"Yes", she cries, "Yea Hwa. Want your cock so bad baby"

"All the time?"

"All the time! Hwa!"

One of her hands is gripping my hair so tightly, her other has slipped down to my bicep, squeezing so hard I think I might get bruises

I smile at the thought, hoping it happens

Moving back from her neck, I watch how beautiful my baby looks in pleasure

Her head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed, tears falling down her cheeks, moaning my name

Fuck I could watch this all day

"Baby, need you to cum for me", I tell her

"Hwannie"

"Mmm c'mon baby. I need you to ride me but you can't until you cum"

"Wanna cum", she murmurs

"Hmm how about you squirt for me?"

She nods her head rapidly, "Uh huh"

"Good girl"

I hike her higher up, gripping her ass as I thrust up into her harder, right against her spot

Her cunt squeezes the life from my dick as I continuously hit that spot hard and fast

Her body arches off the wall and I know she's close

Moving my hand between us, I play with her clit as I fuck her

It doesn't take long before I slam into her and she screams my name as she orgasms

Pleasure explodes in my body as she cums on me, pussy throbbing hard as she gushes squirt all over me and the floor

"Good girl", I praise her, keeping my cock deep inside her as I rub her clit to get her through her orgasm, "My best girl"

"Seonghwa", she moans, "Hwa"

"Yeah baby. Almost done", I tell her as her throbbing lessens, her orgasm ending

Moving my hand from her pussy, I pull her off the wall and get her to the couch

She recovers from her orgasm, pushing me down on the couch, climbing in my lap

"Fucking belts", she growls, shoving them up again as she takes me in, settling on my cock

She rolls her eyes as her hand leans on the first belt as it is on my stomach

"Can't even see your body with these stupid things"

"You will jagi", I assure her, my thumbs stroking her hips as I hold on, "Later tonight"

She smirks, "Yeah you're right"

With that said, she begins bouncing, bliss coming back into my body

Her legs slam against mine as she moves, the sound of skin slapping mixing with the sound of her wet pussy

Beautiful sound

As she sits up straighter, I notice that the bottom belt has moved down my hips considerably probably from all the movement

It's low, near us and I don't know if I should move it or leave it

She seems too engrossed in riding me to care, so I leave it for now

Lifting my eyes, I watch the gorgeous sight in front of me- my girlfriend bouncing on my cock, her face in pleasure, body shaking with every hit to her spot, her boobs jiggling in my face, her hips moving in a circular motion when she takes me in, grinding on me

She's so fucking stunning it's fucking ridiculous

Her hand grabs the lowest belt, near where we meet, gripping it so tightly

I'm not sure if she realizes she's keeping it in place or not but I decided I'm not going to say anything

Not that I can through the pleasure anyway

All I can do is breathe and feel

I take my eyes down her body, landing on her tiny hole stuffing itself over and over with my dick

Her wet hole strains so hard around my cock but she takes me inside her over and over anyway

Her pretty cream is pouring from her cunt, a sticky white mess all over my cock and my lap

And from what I can see, she's creaming all over the belt too

"Seonghwa", she mumbles, riding me harder

"Mm jagi. You look so pretty on my cock", I praise her, "You're hole looks so good on my cock"

"Love being on your cock", she murmurs, bouncing hard, cunt clenching down rapidly over and over, "Gonna cum all over your hard cock"

"Do it jagi", I urge her, "You know how good your orgasms feel for me"

She nods

She knows, I've told her many times

"Make my cock feel so good baby. Please. I wanna feel you"

"Sss...Seong... Seonghwa", she moans, sliding down my length, coming all over me

The pulsing is driving me crazy, her cum leaking around us, her moans of my name so loud and so gorgeous

Intense pleasure is flowing through every nerve of my body as I watch the beauty that is her coming

I love when she cums while riding me because I can see everything so clearly

The sweat rolling down her body, the tremors of her skin, the way her hips rock on me to prolong the pleasure

Her face...oh god her ethereal face

Watching her cum is my favorite thing in the world

When she finishes, I gently pull her down to me and maneuver us, getting her on her back, under me

I kiss her softly, slipping my tongue inside her mouth, playing with hers, sparks of electricity running up my spine

Her arms move around my back as I move her legs around my hips, gently moving inside her, inch by inch, until I'm all in

Wrapping one arm around her body, I pull her against me as I pull back then slowly move back in

Going fast and hard is fun but I like going slow more

Lets me feel everything better

Her throbs, her clenches, her hand holding me, her lips against mine

It's when I can tell her I love her without words

Because I'm fucking terrified to say them

I'm not scared of being in love

Not with her

I'm scared of her not feeling the same

It would honestly devastate me which is why I haven't gotten the courage to tell her yet

But when we are like this, clinging onto each other, kissing deeply, in our own world, I can show her

She kisses me like she can't get enough of me, her hands running up and down my back, heat flaring in every cell her fingers touch

I shiver against her, just feeling the utter ecstasy of being with her

She moves her hips, meeting my thrusts, letting me go deeper into her

Her pussy tightens on my dick, spasming like crazy and I know she's close

I can give her orgasm after orgasm, never getting tired of hearing her, watching her, feeling her

I just want to be with her all the time

I just want to make her happy

"Hwannie", she murmurs, one of her hands moving into the back of my hair

"Yeah baby?", I ask, leaning my forehead against hers

"Cum with me baby", she asks, looking into my eyes

"Yeah jagi", I agree, wanting nothing more than that

The next thrust starts her orgasm, the outstanding pleasure hitting me hard

"Seonghwa", she whispers and that's the last thing I need to fall head first into an intense orgasm

Sheathing my cock inside her, I explode, moaning her name as I fill her with cum

"Yes Hwannie. You feel so good coming inside me", she whispers, kissing my cheek over and over

I can't answer, the ecstasy shutting my brain off for the moment

Her legs tighten around my, holding my cock inside her milking pussy, stars sprinkling behind my closed eyes

As my orgasm tapers off, I lay down on top of her, loving that her arms automatically move around me

She kisses my forehead, her fingers playing with my hair, while her other hand rubs my back

"My Seonghwa", she coos, making me feel so wanted, "My baby. I love you"

My eyes snap open, but I don't move yet, wondering if I heard what I thought I heard

Or if I imagined it

"I love you Seonghwa", she whispers so softly its as if she's not saying anything

But I heard it

"I love you Joanne", I say softly too, still scared to say it any louder

"You don't have to say it back Hwa if you don't want to"

Lifting my head, I look directly in her eyes, "I want to say it baby. I have been wanting to tell you for a while. I was just scared"

"Why were you scared?", she asks, confusion on her face

"Well...because I was afraid you didn't feel the same", I answer softly

Understanding enters her face as she says, "Oh, I get it"

"Yeah"

"Well I love you Seonghwa. I was holding onto it too, debating if I should tell you or not", she explains, "But...I couldn't hold back and I wanted you to know. Even if you didn't love me, I wanted you to know I love you"

I'm so fucking happy

"I do love you Jo. So much. You're kinda my everything"

She gives me her beautiful smile, taking my breath away, "You're my everything too Hwa. I love you"

"I love you", I say, knowing I'm not going to be able to stop saying it now

She lifts her head, kissing me softly and I fall into her amazing kiss

When the kiss ends, she smiles softly, gently touching my face

"My Hwannie"

"My Jo", I whisper

After a few more kisses, we decide we should get back to the dressing room before anyone notices how long we've been gone for

After getting dressed, she tells me to go first and she'll wait a few minutes before coming out

That's always how we've done it when we've had sex in public areas

But this time I don't want to

I guess I feel differently now that I know we love each other and I don't want to hide her

So instead, I take her hand and tell her, "Let's go jagi"

"But Hwa-", she starts, her eyebrows raised

I press a quick kiss to her lips to shush her, "It's ok jagi. I love you"

She still looks a little perplexed but she nods saying, "I love you"

Smiling, I open the door and we walk hand in hand back to the dressing room

When we get inside the room, the guys look over at us, all their eyes on our hand

Hongjoong just raises his eyebrow and nods

Yunho and Yeosang just shrug

Mingi and Jongho don't say anything and look away

But San and Wooyoung squeal in excitement

"They're holding hands! Finally, we don't have to keep their secret anymore!", Wooyoung exclaims

"Now we can make fun of them in the open!", San laughs excitedly

She giggles while I just roll my eyes

"Whatever", I answer, tugging her behind me

We sit next to Hongjoong on the couch and I immediately put my arm around her and she cuddles into me

Hongjoong hands me a tablet with a picture of clothes, "Our outfits for tomorrow"

Her and I look at mine and I like most of it, except for one part

"Fucking belts", she grumbles

[ddoxhan]

that summer

draw me in your world, as you let yourself into mine let me be your safe haven, for I love when you shine

word count : 4.8k words

genre : fluff with a tinge of angst; your typical summer love story but haerin does not feel the same way you do for her?; runner! haerin x literature student! fem!reader; you are an overthinker and sometimes just wish you stop thinking

t/w : none :)

a/n : this is the longest i've ever written for a oneshot and honestly, i didn't want to split it up cause i wanted yall to feel the whole thing at one go. enjoy !

"haerin-ah, wait up!"

"you're just slow! we're gonna be late if we don't hurry!"

you swore you needed to wake up earlier to avoid having to rush to school, especially when haerin waits for you every day to walk together. at this point, the two of you had been running to class for three days in a row now, not walk. to your surprise, the girl has never complained or grumbled about how you would make her almost miss the bell. but then again, she's always been like that. haerin was never someone who wouid let out her anger on you or anyone in general. you've never seen her get angry, concluding that she just doesn't know how to.

the said girl turned her head around while not faltering in her rushed steps, making sure you're keeping up with her speed. but the thing is, she's the school's top runner and you barely pass your required tests for physical education. haerin knows, which was why she opted to drag you along by your hand. the sudden grab left you slightly taken aback. well, slight is an understatement, you were very taken aback. especially when you have the most obvious crush on her.

you've always had a crush on haerin ever since you were 12. it just happened so when she saved you from some bullies, aka silly boys, running away from them as you two rest at the neighbourhood playground after. she sat you on the swing while you cried in both fear and relief. but all the fear washed away when she flashed you a smile that you never forgot till this day. the way her eyes curved up and her snaggletooth showed with that big smile of hers, that's when you fell for her.

as you busied yourself in your own world, you once again arrived at the school gate right before they closed it off, with some students sighing at how they missed it by a split second behind it. a slow realization hit that you've ran to your limit, you tried taking deep breaths but it might have made it worse. sometimes you wished you were more athletic, for these kind of situations, and also to spend more time with haerin if you were in the track and field team.

"hey, try breathing with both your nose and mouth, it can help."

the girl in front of you looks unfazed, as if she just went for a relaxing morning jog. which isn't entirely wrong as you don't live too far from school. you stand up straight again, doing what she told you to. it actually did help but as she glanced at her watch, you understood what it meant.

"go on, don't be late for class because of me."

"it's fine, there's still some time. I'll go with you."

although you were very sure classes starts in 3 minutes, you didn't argue further as it just meant you get to spend more time although it's just minutes. when the two of you were put into different classes, the time spent together reduced drastically plus haerin's training after class on some days. it was just lunch and maybe weekends if she didn't have extra training. but you felt bad for wanting her to spend her only free day with you, so you try to refrain from jumping onto her bed during some weekends.

why is it so hard to just spend some time with her?

lunch came. and that meant you get to see haerin again after the last time before classes started. at this point, you were just too infatuated with her that you were experiencing some sort of separation anxiety that you can't seem to quite explain. there's nothing you can do about it, you were just that in love with her.

but you did not guess for her to walk along to the cafeteria with him. him who? him, woonhak, the heartthrob who happens to be almost as good as haerin in the track and field team. everyone who sees them walking down the corridor would literally stop to look at how good they look together. it's to the point that they gush over the possible relationship they should have.

you were one of the people who'd look too, but you were always left slightly upset and heartbroken whenever you heard such comments. for sure, woonhak didn't do anything other than walk with her because he likes to ask and learn from haerin when it comes to running. there was no one to blame for your feelings except yourself. and at times, you just wished you could just like someone else cause the pain gets unbearable.

"hey froggie! how was class?"

it might sound like you're being selfish, but you wished haerin only ever smiles at you like that. that smile, the very same one you fell for and also the one that makes your heart clench a little. not to mention the nickname, it makes you feel as if she sees you nothing more than just a friend.

"the same. mr park is giving out work, again. I'm not surprised anyways."

"how about you?"

you swore you saw how her eyes sparkled a little when she started telling you about hers. but you don't feel that much good inside after.

"oh! you know woonhak right? him and I got chosen to be interviewed for a promotional video for the school."

"oh, him..."

"sorry, did you say something?"

"ah, yeah I know him."

"yup him, we agreed to meet on sunday to prepare ahead of the interview. I'm sorry if you wanted to come over."

"no don't be, it's fine. I can just work on mr park's project on sunday."

"but still, it feels weird that I won't be around."

"oh come on, it's literally just a few hours! and before you know it, you'll be back and I can come over if you want."

"this is why you're my best friend, I can always count on you."

well, that hurt a lot. you didn't know if it was intentional or just coincidental as she manages to throw your urge to confess out of the window every time it surfaces. all you could hope was that she didn't take notice of your feelings, or else you swear you'd never be able to face her again. the very last thing you need is for this friendship with her to shatter to the ground like glass. but you knew, the moment you fell for her, you were already walking on thin ice.

"what do they have for lunch today?"

"kimchi fried rice, today has your favourite strawberry milk."

picking up yours, you shaked it to tempt her to quickly go get hers and come have her food with you. and so she did.

whenever it came to her favourite food, she always looks like a cute little kitten who's hungry all the time. and when she spots them, she'd rush to get it and sit with you with an adorable smile plastered on her face as she eats or drinks away. you wish you were able to be someone who makes her that happy too, but along with those thoughts were the heavy consequences of your confession.

whatever you two have built throughout these many years will just shatter like glass, into fragile pieces that will not be able to be pieced together again. even if it could be pieced together again, nothing can stay the same.

for now, you'll keep it to yourself. nothing has shifted between you and haerin, so you shouldn't too.

you have no idea what the hell you're doing right now. what kind of situation is this, you don't know.

"you told me we were gonna work on that project. as far as I know, this is not part of the project."

"I know, but just, we'll work on it after. for now, I just need you to accompany me."

"bro, this feels so illegal to be spying on someone."

"I'm just making sure that boy isn't doing anything to haerin."

"you know they're like the most shipped couple in school right? and woonhak's a really nice person."

"you never know."

all dani could do was roll her eyes at how dumb you look, she looks, with this so called disguise that barely covered their identity. she told you the shades were not it when it's practically indoors, and how it literally makes them stand out even more. at times like this, she questions herself why she's friends with you, and why she's willing to be in this with you. overall you were a great person, just not when you get too overprotective of the girl you love.

"if you're just gonna snoop around, you might as well just confess."

the moment you heard the word 'confess', the coffee you were drinking through your mouth came out through your nose. dani didn't know whether to laugh or help you wipe the table cause that was the reenactment of that 'the incredibles' meme of violet. maybe this was why she was friends with you.

"w-what do you mean?"

"you're too obvious to not notice each and every time you zoom out of class to have lunch with haerin. and zoom out again when the bell rings so you can head over to the gym hall to watch her practice."

"bro why didn't you tell me?!"

"tell you what? that you're like an idiot in love but the person you love doesn't seem to feel the same way?"

"I am not an idiot! but I definitely am in love..."

the mood suddenly shifted to somewhat gloomy as those words left your mouth. admitting that you had feelings for haerin to someone else for the first time didn't feel much extravagant than you thought. it wasn't that what you felt wasn't real or overwhelming, they very much were. but the thought of her not reciprocating them, broke you a little on the inside.

you've always imagined being by her side throughout university till the day you'd grow old and get a small house in the countryside. if it were the best friend context, things would have been fine. but you want to be there for her as someone she loves, too. as cheesy as it sounds, just the two of you against the world and no one can stop you.

reality begged to differ when you see how happy she is now as she picks up some clothes from the racks in a store. with woonhak smiling down at her. you couldn't deny that they look good together, way to good that it was believable if haerin told you they started dating after this date. the more you saw the two of them together, the more it was harder to imagine you being the one who would be making her happy.

although you've known her for so long, you weren't one to express your feelings through words. 'actions speak louder than words' was the motto you've lived with all this time. but this love thing takes more than that. being a literature student did not help with that vast range of vocabulary cause there was no point of preparing a confession. it has to come from the heart, and that's what makes it so hard.

"..."

"they left by the way."

your head whipped to the direction of the store they were in, and the last spot you saw them at was indeed empty.

"let's go then! you better saw where they are heading."

not even allowing dani to finish her chocolate drink, you dragged her along to chase after the two. they were definitely fast, very fitting to be in the track and field team. and dani did not sign up for this.

in the end, dani had to drag you out of that mall before you ended up actually stalking those two poor souls. you were definitely not pleased with that decision but you two had a project to attend to, so you placed whatever that's disturbing to the back of your head. although it was sort of futile.

"well, at least we got half of this done, sorta."

"we can meet again tomorrow after school to finish it up if you want."

the australian squinted her eyes at you, as if trying to question your intention. she had the right to after what you pulled off today.

"for real, this time. I kinda want to get this over with and watch haerin practice."

"you better keep your promise."

giving a salute, all dani could do was chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood with your antics. how can she not love someone like you when all you do was make everyone around you smile?

"hey, do you think it's possible that haerin would have feelings for me? even the slightest bit?"

"I don't see why not. you're a nice kid."

"the definition of nice is different for everyone, and so it is for me."

the older took a seat next to you on the bed, putting down her books on your study desk. when the topic about your feelings for haerin surface each time, you can't help but let your real self seep out a little, the happy-go-lucky facade faltering.

"you know, you don't have to be nice to be liked by anyone."

"but that doesn't mean I can be bad either."

"you know I don't mean it that way. it's just that, whether the person is nice or not, if you like them, you just do."

"that's true..."

it was feeling a little weird to talk about this with someone, but you were glad that it was dani. she was like an older sister figure that you could rely on whenever you needed her.

"you love haerin. and do you love her because she's nice? or because it's her?"

as you registered her words in your brain, you couldn't help but feel hopeful all over again, even after seeing those two at the mall today. maybe, they really are just friends. maybe, haerin does like you a little. maybe, you should confess.

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you couldn't feel the presence next to you, slowly clasping your hands. dani looked at you really endearingly, as if you were the person she cherished the most in the world.

"whatever you do, I'd be here to support, okay?"

giving her a reassuring nod and grin, dani's heart swelled at how your mood was lifted again. all she wants to see was you smile, regardless of who's behind it.

"FROGGIE!"

the shout from across your bedroom door grabbed your attention as your eyes darted towards it. as it swung open, the very person you two were talking about barged through to throw you into a hug. along with dani cause haerin knows her too.

"unnie! what are you doing here? the project?"

"hmm, we were just tidying up cause it's getting late."

the older slipped out from the embrace to finish packing her stuff to leave those two to their own world. maybe one day, she'd be able to find someone she loves too.

"bye unnie!"

"dani, I'll let you know what time tomorrow."

"yup sure, just ping me when you're done."

as dani left when she saw your thumbs up, you're tackled into another hug. you were wondering why she was being extra clingy after that date with woonhak. did woonhak confess to her? was she being shy about it? is she gonna tell you something? you were overthinking a lot of things and it wasn't a good sign cause that just means you're going to start doubting every single action haerin takes.

"I missed you."

you wish you would just disintegrate into dust at this very moment. everything that has happened today had already put your brain and feelings into overdrive. and for her to say this, made your heart feel heavier than ever. you didn't know why, it just didn't feel all that good although you did miss her too. but the words just can't seem to fall from your lips.

all you could do was look away and nod. because if you were to look at her, you think you are going to cry and confuse her even further.

"I should go shower first, it's been a long day."

"then we can cuddle!"

haerin slipped away from the embrace into your bathroom. with her belongings scattered around your room, it makes you feel even dizzier from all these crashing feelings. it's as if you are itching to confess to her or else you'd combust for real. that was why you could only keep your mouth shut, or everything would be over.

for now again, you try your best to act normal in front of her. for your own sake, for her sake, and to keep this friendship the way it has been this whole time.

everything went on like normal. you and dani wrapped up that damn project mr park gave, having lunch with haerin every day, spending your time watching her practice, hanging out every weekend. but as haerin's competition was approaching, she spends more time at the gym hall, even during weekends at times. you can't blame her when she's the top in her team.

this competition was utmost important for her as many big companies scout at this particular one. meaning that if she does well, she may have a chance of signing with one. but that means that she would have to move to the city if that does happen.

you were afraid to lose her. sure, you two would still be friends even if she was miles away. so that's exactly what you're afraid of, staying friends. you knew you had no guts to confess to her anytime soon. if haerin leaves, you will still be here. you can't imagine how it will be without her, because you've spent your entire life with her by your side.

even today, you're in your room as haerin is training more as days are left till the competition. divided between confessing or not, you wrote down all the things you want to get for her on your laptop. the tomato frog that she loves so much, a printed sweater with a cat, a couple bracelet that she had her eye on last month. you remembered everything like you knew the back of your hand. it wasn't intentional, but you just did. not to mention that you had quite bad memory that you took a week to remember your seatmate's name.

you were going to do it. you were going to confess. it took you years to finally make that decision and you want it to be perfect. what did it mean by perfect, you don't know. it was your first time, but you just wanted it to be from the bottom of your heart. regardless of whether haerin would reciprocate the feelings, you came to an agreement with yourself that it was fine if she didn't. she was going to move away when she wins that competition so it would just mean that you two stay friends. friends who are apart from each other.

although it may take time to heal, it was going to be fine. not everything in life can go smoothly, and you were willing to take the risk. it was unfair for both you and her. you couldn't pretend any longer that you saw her as a friend, when the way you treat her is definitely more than one. and she deserves to know what you feel for her, with no secrets kept between the two of you.

D-10.

"WOONHAK! GOOD LUCK!"

"YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT BRO!"

"HAERIN-AH! SLAY IT!"

"HWAITING!"

screams and shouts from both sides of your ears were definitely gonna leave them ringing for some time. of course you weren't going to miss haerin's big day. you were beyond proud that she made it to the finals after beating her opponents in the semifinals. quarters were a piece of cake since she was a whole second ahead of everyone.

it was no doubt when she held the fastest record for 100m among the schools here. the agents definitely had their eyes on her the entire time, it just depends on who she chooses.

you didn't really like going out for events like these but she was an exception. although you weren't screaming your lungs out for her, you caressed that ring on your finger very dearly. the ring haerin got you when you two got into the same high school, calling it "the lucky ring". whenever there were big happenings, you'd wear it, feeling that she was with you through them. this time, you wore it so she could feel that you were with her.

"ON YOUR MARK."

the determination on haerin's face didn't go unnoticed even if you were nowhere close to the tracks. and when she flashed that smile at you before the whistle went off, you cried softly into your hands.

you love her so much. so much that this was going to be the last time you two were going to be friends. friends who grew up together, playing with puddles at the playground. finding restaurants to visit together. laughing at stupid videos in bed. taking pictures and videos of each other when one is sleeping. all those days were going to be a memory. a sweet memory for you to look back at after this day.

reporters swarmed the winner of the competition, blocking the pathway for the others who could only sigh at their defeat. some were lucky with outstanding performance.

"could you tell us what's your future plans after this?"

"will you be signing with Krux? we saw their agent approach you personally."

"is it possible to know who kim woonhak is to you?"

"i'm sorry everyone but haerin will be heading off first, any questions will be answered by me."

the coach pushed haerin into the locker room before locking everyone outside with him. she let out the breath even she didn't know she was holding.

"so, who is kim woonhak to you?"

the noise was starting to die down outside as the reporters were led to a different room for interview. the silence was growing deafening as those words echoed across the empty room.

"you're my friend."

"damn, I really didn't have a chance, did I?"

"you know that very well. plus, there's a whole line waiting to date you so why waste your time on me?"

haerin couldn't bother, as she had something better to do and someone better to be with.

"sunbae, you do know I don't like you anymore right? not after you turned down my confession the other day."

"I was just making sure. I've seen too many of you playboys in action."

"oh come on, I'm not a playboy!"

woonhak was someone who was very responsive to teases, and haerin takes every chance she gets to tease the hell out of him. if anything, he was like a brother to her and she was like a sister to him. in fact, both of them decided to sign with the same company since they were offered. it was always good to have someone on your side in the sports world.

"I know, I was just messing with you. now get out, coach probably needs you."

"why me when the winner is right here chilling?"

"because you're gonna answer on my behalf."

the scene that was unfolding could easily be misunderstood if walked in at the wrong timing. and someone did just that. but what haerin didn't expect was that you walked in on them, seemingly laughing and smacking each other, like a couple. well, it did look like that to you at least.

you felt like you were interrupting something, so you dashed out of there as quick as you could. your eyes were stinging as the humid wind cut through your tears that were threatening to fall. although haerin was deemed the winner today, you were zooming past people faster than she could, as if in denial that you lost even before getting a chance to tell her.

it was getting more and more suffocating as the people around you were overwhelming. although you could breathe better when you reached the tracks, taking in the view of the vast field, it was too much that you had to hit your chest to let out some suppressed cries.

just as you felt slightly better, you felt a pair of arms swinging across your sides from behind, trapping you with them. you didn't even need to see who it is, as their scent invaded your senses, carrying familiarity with it.

"haerin-ah, congratulations! I'm so proud of you."

you turned around to bring her into a hug, but also hiding the fact you were crying because things were to change today.

"thank you, I wouldn't have done it without you."

"no, don't say that. you.. did it because you trained very hard for this. and you'll be achieving your dreams."

"you did do something for me, you were there for me. I saw you at the bleachers and that made me more determined to win."

"why are you crying, froggie? don't cry, we'll still see each other."

haerin cupped your face with her hands to wipe the tears off of your face. but that just hit the nail on the coffin, meaning that she would sign and leave for the city. which was now or never.

"haerin-ah."

"hmm?"

the endearing look in her face as she looks at you was more than enough to let you know she would be here for you no matter what. even as just a friend. although it was starting to rain, you knew you had to do it now. the words were getting stuck in your throat as it started to get dry. but, you were going to do it still.

"I love you."

"huh?"

the confusion on her face hurt you more than it should. you should know that she does not feel the same way you did for her. you should know that she was probably already dating woonhak after what you saw earlier. you should know-

"I love you too."

it was the first time you have ever seen that smile on her face. a grin so wide, it's like she's the happiest girl in the world. the most crescent eyes you've seen on her, as if she's staring at the girl she loves.

wait. she said she loves you too.

the sunshower was drenching the two of you but you couldn't give a damn about it. she said she loves you. she reciprocated your feelings. but you were having a very hard time trying to wrap your head around it.

"I love you too, you silly."

her laughter tickled your ears as you stood there frozen. your dumb reaction had her swaying you around with her in the rain as the sun was blinding through the droplets. just as she stopped to look at you again, you still had that bewildered face.

"I thought you were dating woonhak..."

"me? and that idiot? babe, you gotta be kidding me."

the sudden endearment had your cheeks flare up as you bury your head in her shoulder, in attempt to cover your face. but your ears were shooting bright red too, earning an earthy laughter from haerin, you could feel it through the embrace.

"so that means we're dating right?"

she looked at you with a shocked face before peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

"yes, of course froggie. unless you wanna get married."

the attempt at humor cracked both of you up, but you knew that was something you see happening in the future. but for now, everything was perfect. you were perfect, and haerin's urge to kiss you was too strong at that moment.

"can I kiss you?"

all you could do was nod and as her lips touched yours, that's when things were sinking in for you. your hands slowly draped over her neck as you pulled her closer to feel the longing for her warmth grow stronger. the sunshower painted over you and her, but you couldn't care less about what's around you when the most important person is in front of you. it was true that today was the last day you two were friends, but blossomed into a new beginning as each other's love.

as you pulled back to breathe, you two had your eyes closed, foreheads touching. although no words were exchanged, you knew, many more summers were to be spent with the love of your life.

it was the summer rain, the summer rain when haerin fell for you as you held her hand and ran in the rain back home.

that summer you fell for her too.

[writingforstraykids]

Addicted to you Chp.20

Pairing: Minchan (mention of OT8)

Word Count: 5443

Summary: Back in public Minho tries to build up the courage to open up about what really happened without revealing too much. His friends support him every step of the way, hearing some things for the first time as well. Chan has to decide how open he really wants to be and walks the fine line of supporting his boyfriend and keeping their relationship a secret. Especially after Minho's first performance doesn't go as planned.

Warnings/Tags: angst, fluff, panic attack, mention of throwing up, dizziness, anxious!min, protective!chan

A/N: Looking back at this series, this is by far one of my most cherished chapters. Not only has the group learned to stick together when one of them isn't exactly stable, but also Chan and Minho finally pull at the same string. I love how the growth in both of them has been visible for you guys and I do hope this chapter proves it once more. We're almost at the end, which makes me a little nostaglic because chapter one was one of my first posts back in October (we haven't missed a week🤭). I hope you enjoy it, I'll see you next week for the last one (sobbing)🖤

Chp.19| Chp. 21

All I know is you saved me and you know it Saved me and you know it Always thought I was hard to love ' Til you made it seem so easy Easy ~ Camila Cabello

During dinner, Chan's hand kept slipping beneath the table, resting on Minho's thigh or grabbing his hand. Now that he knew, he wondered how he hadn't realized Felix and Changbin were acting the same way he and Minho had been. The secret glances, hands brushing against each other in passing, the soft smiles they shared when no one was watching. Jisung suddenly got everyone's attention. "As we all know, we have two couples amongst our group," he announced, quiet enough only for them to hear. "The funniest part about it is Chan and Changbin thinking they've been discreet, whilst Minho and Felix knew damn well the opposite is the case." 

Seungmin blinked at Chan. "You thought what? You've been drooling over Minho since we debuted." 

"Don't even start," their leader sighed heavily and hung his head, not noticing Minho's surprised glance. 

“As you all know, the rest of us have our own thing going on,” Jisung added.

"See? No reason to panic about telling the kids," Minho told Chan kindly and patted his back. "We're all grownups here." 

"Are we, though?" Felix giggled. 

"Now that we all know, no one has to sneak around the house anymore to be with one another," Seungmin concluded Jisung's announcement. 

"Amen," Felix agreed. 

"Fuck me. The house is gonna turn into a mess," Chan sighed and buried his face in his hands. 

"You think you're the only one allowed to have fun?" Jeongin asked sassily. He received a warning glare from his leader. “Also, what makes you think it wasn’t a mess before you knew?”

"I could use a drink," Minho announced cheerfully and waved over a waiter. "Anyone else? I'm paying." 

Chan chuckled softly and agreed. He could use one himself. Once everyone seemed to busy themselves with side conversations, Chan leaned a little closer to Minho. "You're so pretty, it's unreal," he whispered in his ear. Minho blushed softly. 

"Stop it," he chuckled. 

"I mean it. I've never seen someone as beautiful as you," he confessed and watched him bite his lower lip. Right, praises were something he had a thing for. "My beautiful kitten." 

Minho gasped softly, his pupils widening at the pet name. "Channie, stop," he whispered lovingly. "Not here." 

"Why not?" he asked, smirking softly. 

“You know damn well why not,” he rolled his eyes fondly.

-

Minho stared at his plate, pushing its contents from left to right for the thousandth time. He was feeling incredibly sick because he was so nervous about their press conference in a few hours. 

"Minho hyung? Aren't you hungry?" Jisung asked gently. Minho snapped out of his thoughts. 

He realized all of them were staring at him and smiled weakly, pushing his plate away. "I'm too anxious right now," he admitted as he reached for his water. But as he brought it closer to his lips, his grip around his glass got tighter as he noticed his hand trembling. 

"Can we do anything to help?" Felix spoke up next to him softly. 

"I don't think so," he shook his head and chewed on his lower lip. "I guess now that it's time, I'm scared there'll be consequences for you guys. It’s not exactly a great way to kick off promotions." 

"Whatever it is, we'll stand behind you, Min," Chan assured him. 

Minho met his eyes across the table and smiled weakly. "Are you saying this as my boyfriend or the leader of this group?" 

"Minho," Chan said softly.

"You should put the group first today, Chan. We both know that," he told him kindly. Chan lowered his gaze at the table for a moment. "I'm not afraid of the consequences because I know if I keep going like this, it'll end much worse for me,” he told them and rubbed his face tiredly. “I just don’t want you all to suffer from the news.” 

"They either get all eight of us or none of us," Changbin spoke up. 

"I'm sick of people trying to separate us," Hyunjin agreed. 

"We have your back, Minho hyung. There's nothing they can do about that," Seungmin agreed. 

"Fuck them all," Jeongin concluded with a grin. 

"Even if we didn’t worry about the consequences, Chan doesn't function without you..as we all saw repeatedly," Jisung commented dryly. 

“Thanks, Hannie,” Chan gently rolled his eyes.

Minho chuckled softly at all of them and rolled his eyes playfully. "When you put it that way, what's there to worry about." 

Felix smiled and looked at him. "Can we give you a hug?" 

"Fine," he sighed softly, secretly longing for nothing else than some physical comfort right now. He got up, and all of them gathered around him in a big group hug. Minho smiled softly and buried his face in Chan's chest as the warmth of his members finally gave him some comfort. "I love you guys," he told them after a moment. "I'm sorry for all that shit I'm putting you through currently." 

"Stop it, Minho hyung. We all have rough moments being in this industry," Changbin comforted him. 

"That's why there are seven others who have our back at all times," Hyunjin agreed. 

Once they reached their destination and had to enter the room where they'd be interviewed, Minho felt nauseous all over again. The staff would possibly kill him, or maybe he'd just get in serious trouble. Their names were announced, and they all left his side one by one, taking their places. Minho's stomach turned once more as he saw his place. Changbin, Hyunjin, Chan, Seungmin, and Jeongin were sitting on higher chairs in the back in that order. Felix was in the front row on the left, Jisung on the right, and the place in their midst was empty. They weren’t joking when they said they'd always be around him, protecting him. Minho's stage name was announced and he gave himself a mental push before walking out on stage, putting on a perfectly convincing, practiced smile. He sat down and nervously adjusted his suit jacket. 

They started out easy with some general questions about their next comeback, upcoming concerts, and already published songs. Minho didn't have to talk much and was able to fool around with the boys a little. He carefully adjusted his glasses as an interviewer called his name. 

"You've been on a break recently after collapsing on stage. Our readers are wondering what you think about said event and how you plan to continue?" she asked, looking at him expectantly. 

"As my team has already explained, I was injured and overworked at the event in question, which is why I collapsed and-," Minho stopped in his tracks, realizing this was the moment. He shouldn't just answer with the scripted version of what the staff had written up for him in case of such a question. He cleared his throat and straightened up. "Actually, I would like to make my own statement if you allow me to." 

"Please go on," she encouraged him. 

"About two months before this performance, my mental health was starting to get worse. I had trouble taking care of and trusting in myself. It got better whenever I was around my members. At some point, I defined myself through my performance only. When I got injured, I had to take a step back, which made this much harder for me. I got into a massive fight with one of the most important people in my life, which really took a toll on me," Minho said and saw some staff members in the back looking at each other nervously. "I had trouble eating, I didn't get enough sleep, and I practiced too much and too long. Because of that, my injury got worse, and I let it happen, thinking the pain I felt was the punishment I deserved for not being able to perform. I was awful to be around, and I didn’t treat the ones I call my family well, pushing them away when all they wanted was to help. I didn't have the resources to be there for them because I barely had any left for myself, which I'm very sorry for," he continued as pictures were taken of him, and he knew there were live recordings as well. 

No going back now. 

"I didn't collapse because I was injured or tired. My mental health and body couldn't keep up with what I was doing anymore. I've spent two days unconscious at the hospital, which is what made my members decide I needed to take a break. I don't regret collapsing because I wouldn't have stopped this harmful behavior otherwise and-," he stopped as his voice started shaking and swallowed hard, trying to collect himself. Suddenly, Felix took his hand and smiled at him encouragingly while Jisung rested his hand on his knee. Chan followed his heart and wrapped his arms around him from behind, ensuring he knew they were there. Minho inhaled softly and rested his hand on Chan's arm, steadying himself. "I know I’ll make myself vulnerable by saying this, but I think it's important we start normalizing that your beloved idols are humans, too. This is why I want to announce that after everything that happened, I’ve decided to see a therapist. I'm not ashamed of it, and if I want to keep being part of this family and doing my best for our fans, I need to take care of myself better," he concluded and exhaled softly.

"We want to announce that we stand behind Minho and fully support his decision. We ask our fans to show our Minho how much he means to us all and how much he is worth. Please be patient with us during this process," Chan spoke up behind him, noticing how much Minho was shaking, glancing at the staff. "Thank you so much for being here. This will be all for today." 

They all got up, making sure to surround Minho as they left the stage. Minho felt dizzy and flinched a little as suddenly two of their press advisors approached them, saying his name. They seemed ready to call him out for his shit. Chan wrapped his arm around him protectively and told them to back off, not caring that reporters were still taking pictures. Finally, they made it backstage. Chan stepped in front of him, removing his microphone for him. "Give me a moment," he mumbled as his stomach protested, quickly pushing through them and making his way to the bathroom. He ripped the door open to one of the stalls and crouched down, throwing up. All the anxiety and nervousness got to him, combined with the realization that, for the first time, he did the opposite of what he had been advised to do. Once his stomach had calmed down, Minho carefully pushed himself up and sniffled softly, trying to swallow a panic attack threatening to creep in. He pushed the door open and slowly stepped outside, flinching heavily as he saw his friends standing at the sink, all watching him worriedly. "I can't even throw up in peace?" he joked tiredly and made his way over to a sink, shakily turning on the water. He rinsed his mouth and washed his hands, thanking Hyunjin quietly, who gave him some paper towels. 

"Do you feel better after telling the truth?" Seungmin asked. 

"I'm glad it's not a secret anymore," he told them, leaning against the sink. "But besides that, no. I'm a minute away from a full-blown panic attack," he admitted, knowing there was no use hiding it. He leaned forward, bracing himself on his knees and inhaling shakily. "They'll kill me, won't they?" 

Jisung was the first one to react and stepped in front of him. "Deep breaths, Minho hyung. You'll be okay." He hugged him as he stood up straight again and soothingly rubbed his back. The others let them, knowing Jisung often found comfort in Minho when he was panicking, so it fit for him to try and return the favor. Jeongin grabbed a few paper towels, made them wet, and wrung them out before carefully placing them on the back of Minho's neck. Felix stepped next to them and gently ran his hand through his hair as Jisung guided Minho in his breathing. 

Once he had calmed down, Chan took over, pulling him into a tight hug and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'm so proud of you. That was very brave." 

"I don't feel very brave right now," he gave back, making his friends chuckle. He barely noticed Changbin removing the paper towels from his neck and leaning his forehead against Chan's. "Let's go back to the hotel, please?" 

“We could stay in for the night and order takeout,” Jeongin proposed. “We’ll just meet up in one room and order there.” 

Minho smiled thankfully and nodded. “That would be nice.” 

-

"May we ask what sent you down the spiral of mental issues?" their interviewer spoke up, clearly talking to Minho. They were currently at a radio station, giving an interview about their upcoming album. Of course, the press conference from yesterday would be a topic; Minho had expected nothing less.

Minho shifted in his seat and thought for a moment. He was aware of the camera moving a little closer on him as they’d also film and upload the whole session. "As I've said, the hate, the injury, lack of sleep, and slowly stop eating altogether have all played their part in this process. It’s been weeks of feeling like shit, and I’m glad I got through the worst of it by now." 

“Many of our listeners thought it was very brave of you to open up like that since we usually don’t see this happening,” she told him with a kind smile. “That must’ve been scary.”

“It was. It still is,” he chuckled, and Jisung flashed him a gentle smile across the table. He knew how it was.

“Nevertheless, most people out there are very grateful you did that. How does that make you feel?” she asked curiously. 

“It’s a relief to hear that people can relate to my situation and don’t look down on me because of it. Also, if me opening up about my struggles helps someone, I don’t get why it is an issue to do so,” he said.

“I think a lot of people out there can relate to the feeling of trying to function when you actually feel like giving up,” Felix added.

“We’ve all been there before,” Seungmin agreed. “Maybe not as heavily, but we’ve all certainly had our struggles in the industry.”

“I think what made it so difficult was seeing Minho hyung go through it,” Hyunjin said gently. “Usually, we come to him with these issues, so no one really knew how to help.”

“Which didn’t stop them from trying, though,” Minho said reassuringly, smiling at him. “I just haven’t been so easy to deal with.”

“How has this situation been for you as a leader?” she asked, turning to Chan, sitting beside Minho quietly. 

“Oh, he struggled the most with it,” Changbin answered for him, and they all chuckled. “Minho’s always been his partner in leading the team with him.”

“That was certainly missed, yeah,” Chan laughed, winking at Minho. "I realized how much I rely on him in certain areas and I know I should've stepped up more." 

"What about that fight you mentioned? Was it with one of the members or someone else?" she asked Minho.

"That was me," Chan spoke up before Minho could answer. "I've been very difficult to deal with, and Minho didn't give up on me, which made things grow tense. I've accused him of complete bullshit to save myself and been very harsh towards him, which didn’t help him deal with his own issues." 

"But, we’ve all talked it out and are doing better than ever," Minho added with a nervous smile. 

"I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what do you mean you were difficult to deal with?" she asked. Everyone grew quiet for a moment, tension slowly rising at the question. She glanced at them, apologetically. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay,” he assured her with a warm smile and exchanged a look with Minho, who looked back at him questioningly. “I’m just trying to figure out how to start.”

“You don’t have to go in depth,” Minho assured him gently.

Chan inhaled softly before grabbing his hand beneath the table. He knew it could be seen on camera, but he couldn’t care less now. "I've been depressed, shutting everyone out for two weeks. I let some things get to me, and Minho was the only one I let near me. I didn't explain exactly how I was feeling, but he was there to hold me when I couldn't go on anymore and broke down crying repeatedly," Chan said, and everyone grew quiet. Their friends looked at Minho and Chan worriedly, hearing for the first time how much Minho actually dealt with. Minho swallowed hard. He could tell by the sound of his voice alone that Chan was having a hard time talking about it. "I've been dragging him down with me and my issues. After our fight, we both dealt with it differently. But none of us were feeling well. I’d never say I was doing as bad as him those past few weeks. Nevertheless-," his voice broke, and the grip on his hand grew tighter. 

"Chan," Minho said gently, turning a little and seeing the tears in his boyfriend's eyes.

Chan stopped for a moment, gathering himself as he found peace in Minho's soft coffee eyes. "Nevertheless, Minho saved my life even though he couldn’t stand being in a room with me at that time. And I'll be forever grateful for that. I gave up on everyone, including myself. A few weeks before Minho’s incident, I accidentally sent my goodbye message to Minho after spontaneously deciding to leave the group. I didn’t feel like I could lead them anymore and thought they’d do better without me. I knew they had Min, who would do his best to carry them through it," he said, his voice shaking as a tear ran down his cheeks. Minho blinked softly as tears brimmed his own eyes and swallowed hard, knowing he had to be strong for them in this moment. Chan wiped away the tears and exhaled shakily. "He climbed up to my balcony, even though he’s deathly scared of heights, to stop me, thinking I was talking about something else, and I-," he trailed off before holding Minho's hand up. "So yes, for everyone asking why I called him love when he collapsed or gifted him this ring, it's because I really, really love him, and I want him to know that."

Minho smiled at him and squeezed his hand. He hadn’t expected him to be that open. 

“Gosh, it sounds like you two have been through a lot lately,” she said with a compassionate smile. “Feel free to step away for a bit if you need a moment,” she told them, seeing how hard Chan was fighting back tears.

Chan exchanged a look with Minho, debating if they should take her up on that. Minho got up, still holding his hand. “Come on, Channie hyung,” he said gently, placing his headset on the table.

Minho pulled him close as soon as they were outside, his heart breaking a little at how tightly Chan clung to him, hiding his face in his shirt. “You did great, Channie love. I’m so proud of you,” he told him quietly.

“You’re right, this is scary,” he said quietly. 

“I got you,” he promised with a gentle smile, fondling his hair. “I love you so much. Thank you for having my back in there,” he whispered.

Chan pulled back and smiled as Minho wiped his cheeks for him. “I love you too, baby,” he told him quietly. He held up his pinky finger for him. “You and me against the world?”

Minho’s face softened as he returned the gesture, linking them together. “Always…Let’s go back in?”

“May I get a kiss first?” he asked.

Minho glanced around quickly before nodding. He connected their lips to a short but loving kiss and gently patted his back. “Alright, come on.”

-

The others watched them leave before turning back to their interviewer. “That is quite some story,” she said. 

“Yeah, it’s been a lot going on the past few weeks,” Jisung agreed. 

“I suppose that hasn’t been easy for you all either?” 

“We’ve had our ups and downs,” Felix told her. “Those two have formed a very deep bond over the past few years, so we all knew they could do this once they started to get along again.” 

“A very deep bond? Do you mean like very good friends? Or are the rumors true, and there’s more?”

“You could call them our parents by now. These two are so in sync it’s annoying,” Jeongin lightened the mood as they came back inside and sat down. 

“As charming as always,” Chan commented dryly.

“We’ve been blessed with a few chaotic kids. It’s only natural that we had to step up and lead them,” Minho winked at Jeongin, who stuck out his tongue at him. “See?” he asked, making everyone laugh. 

"Your friends have been telling me about that deep bond you share. Our listeners would love to know if the rumors are true?" she asked and Minho looked at Chan. 

Chan looked almost a little anxious as he met his eyes, swallowing hard at the pure love and adoration in his boyfriend's doe eyes. Minho smiled gently, taking Chan's hand and squeezing it. "Chan means a lot to me, which is why fighting with him had taken such a toll on me. We're a team and we work best when we're together," Minho said, keeping his eyes on Chan. "I love him, that sums it up well." 

"Platonic love or-?" she asked curiously. 

Minho could tell Chan wasn't quite ready to open up that much today and simply smiled, still not looking away from him. "No comment." 

Chan chuckled, finger brushing over his ring delicately. He turned toward their interviewer, taking a deep breath. "As I said, I love him too. That's all I have for you right now."

Felix and Changbin grinned as they watched them, Jisung exchanged a fond glance with Hyunjin and Jeongin winked at Seungmin. They all knew damn well how very obvious those statements have been without saying much or admitting anything. At the end of the day, their hyungs knew how to dance along the fine line. 

"Well…I wish you the best of luck then to keep what you have right now," she said with a knowing smile. 

A few weeks later

Minho adjusted his newest stage outfit and sighed after cracking his neck. He was tired and already longed to be wrapped up in Chan's arms and back in bed. He had gotten through most of his performances for the day already and was about to perform for the last time. "Can I borrow that one for a moment?" he asked Felix, who was walking past him with a fan. 

"You can keep it," Felix told him, and Minho nodded thankfully. 

He closed his eyes as the cool air hit his face and took a few deep breaths. His head was hurting a little from all the noise, so he made his way outside their dressing room, leaning against the wall. 

Only a few seconds later, the door opened again. "Are you okay?" Chan asked caringly. 

Minho nodded and flashed him a small smile. "I'm okay. It's too loud in there," he told him. 

"Understandable," he nodded agreeingly and rolled his eyes fondly. "But seriously, are you sure you’re feeling?" 

"Yeah," he nodded. 

"Your knee's alright?" he asked. 

"It has been for a while now, yes," he told him amused. 

"You're not feeling dizzy or anything?" Chan made sure, and Minho shook his head. 

"I'm overwhelmed, that's all. Today there have been a lot of bright lights and loud noises. I'm getting a bit of a headache, but I'll get through the last performance and relax later," he assured him. 

Chan stepped in front of him and gently massaged the back of his neck before going up to his temples. Minho moaned softly at the relieving touch and closed his eyes. "I'm proud of you, baby. You've worked hard today." 

"Thank you," he smiled shyly and opened his eyes again. "I missed being on stage like this."

"I know you did," he nodded and kissed his forehead. "Have I told you how much your new hair color suits you yet?" he asked, brushing back Minho's currently dark purplish hair. 

"Only a million times," he winked at him. "I like it too, no worries," he giggled. 

"So pretty." Chan gave him a short kiss. "Can I walk you to the stage?" 

"Sure," he smiled sweetly and laughed as their friends all came outside. 

"We wouldn't want to miss your last performance," Jisung smiled. 

"You guys are so sweet," Minho told them and took Chan's hand. "Alright, let's go." 

"Good luck," Chan told him right before he left, and Minho took his place on stage. 

He was feeling alright throughout the performance, hitting his notes beautifully and dancing smoothly as always. 

"Gosh, he sounds so good," Jisung beamed excitedly as Minho hit a high note.

"Is he okay, though?" Felix frowned softly. 

"Right? It looked like he stumbled a bit," Jeongin nodded nervously. 

"He's shaking," Seungmin added. 

"Please shut up," Chan said anxiously, seeing all of it himself. His eyes haven’t left Minho the entire performance. 

Minho knew the song was coming to an end and felt relieved, knowing he'd soon be back home. He stepped forward at the end and panted heavily, finally feeling how exhausted his body actually was. He squinted his eyes as the audience began to blur in front of him, and felt dizziness taking over his body. Not again. Minho pulled his earpiece out as a high-pitched tone rang through his ear and clutched his chest, pained. Fuck. He nervously glanced to the stage exit, debating if he should risk staying where he was or getting off stage before another debacle. 

"What the fuck is he doing?" Changbin asked worriedly. 

"He doesn't look good," Hyunjin agreed. They all glanced at Chan, who was anxiously chewing on his lower lip. The moment Minho sank down to his knees, head hanging low as he tried to hide his pain, Jisung, Felix, and Changbin held Chan back. 

"Hey, let me go! He needs help!" he protested. 

"Chan hyung, you can't storm on stage now, okay?" Seungmin told him. 

"There's staff already out there to help him," Jeongin pointed out as someone brought him water. 

"I told them it would be too much for him," Chan said weakly. 

"We know, he knows as well," Felix said calmingly. 

"Fuck it, I'm getting him off stage," Chan groaned and pushed them off before making his way on stage. 

"Fucks sake, Chan," Felix groaned. 

Minho looked up at him, surprised as Chan was suddenly kneeling down next to him and cupping his face. "Relax," he whispered, noticing the anxiety in Chan's eyes. "We're on stage, angel." 

"You got dizzy?" he asked gently, and Minho nodded. 

"It was a little too much," he told him tiredly. "My body hurt and gave up on me for a minute." 

"You think you can get up?" he asked, and Minho nodded bravely, letting Chan help him up. Chan wrapped his arm around him tightly and led him off the stage. As soon as they were backstage, Chan snapped at one of their staff members. "I told you it would be too much!" 

"Chan," Minho cut him off sharply, and everyone looked at him worriedly. "I said I would be fine. I overestimated myself, and my body showed me that I was not ready for this yet. It's fine, let it be." 

"You wouldn't have done it if they hadn't suggested it. You're trying to satisfy them again," he told him. 

Minho tiredly rubbed his hurting head and looked at the staff members. "Can you get the car, please? I need a break." They nodded at him and quickly called their car. 

"Wrong place, wrong time, Chan hyung," Jisung told him gently, letting Minho brace himself on his shoulder. "Come on, let's sit down somewhere until the car's here." Seungmin came to help and wrapped his arm around his waist, steadying him. 

Felix gently rested his hand on Chan's arm. "He needs his boyfriend now, not our leader," he told him softly, and Chan glanced at him nervously. 

"I just want him to be okay again," he confessed weakly. 

"We know," Changbin told him kindly. 

"You can still talk about schedules later. Right now, he needs a hug and you telling him he did amazing today," Hyunjin told him. 

"Go on," Jeongin gave him a gentle push. 

Chan groaned softly but did as they said and walked over to them. He crouched in front of Minho, and his heart fluttered at his boyfriend's tired smile. "Sorry, I lost my temper back there."

"You were worried, it’s alright," he told him kindly, not noticing Seungmin and Jisung leaving them alone. Minho gently reached out for him and fondled his hair. "I promise you, I'm okay. Just very tired." 

"I'm sorry I got scared for a second," he confessed and sat on the sofa next to him. Minho turned slightly and pressed his forehead against Chan's. Their hands found each other, and Minho squeezed it gently. 

"I'm here, I’m still conscious," he promised. 

Chan pulled him into his lap and hugged him close as Minho sank against him with a soft sigh. "You were amazing today. I'm really proud of you," he told him. 

"Thanks, Channie hyung," he smiled sweetly and closed his eyes. "I'm so tired," he said softly. 

"You can sleep. I'll take care of everything else," he assured him. Minho didn't need a second invitation. 

Chan carried him to the car later, protecting his head as he leaned down to sit him inside. He sat down next to him, letting him sleep on his shoulder. He carried him inside once they reached home. At home, he laid him down on his bed and filled the bathtub with warm water to soothe his hurting body. He got him undressed and into the tub, bracing him as he very gently washed his hair and body. Minho was only half awake throughout the process, but appreciated the gesture nonetheless. 

Chan got him dressed again before carrying him downstairs and sitting on the sofa with him on his lap. Felix handed him a plate with some food, and Chan started feeding Minho slowly. Minho was barely able to keep his eyes open but made sure to eat a little, knowing he needed the energy. He grew heavy against him and fell asleep as soon as Chan started running his hand through his hair. 

The others all made sure to eat quietly and only talked with their voices lowered to give him some rest. Later, they put on a movie and gathered on the sofa around them, knowing if Minho woke up, he'd feel better seeing them continuing their day as always. He woke up later with a massive headache and winced softly as he moved on top of him. 

Chan looked down worriedly. "What's wrong?" 

"Headache," he groaned, melting into him as Chan massaged his scalp and temples. Felix came over with a glass of water and a pain pill for him, which he took, thankfully. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep again, curling up in Chan's arms. 

Chan kept on lovingly massaging his head for a while and smiled softly as Minho grew calm again. The others all slowly went to bed until it was just Chan, Jisung, and Minho left. 

"You need help carrying him upstairs?" Jisung offered quietly. Chan glanced down at Minho sleeping peacefully on his chest. 

"I think we'll just stay on the sofa for the night," he shook his head. "I don't want to wake him up again." 

"Alright," he nodded and gently patted Chan's shoulder. "Sleep well, Chan hyung." 

"You too, Hannie," he smiled and watched him leave. Chan got comfortable on the sofa and pulled Minho down with him, who stirred in his sleep. "It's fine, keep sleeping," he told him quietly, fondling his hair. Minho cuddled into him, and soon Chan fell asleep right after. 

Chp.19| Chp. 21

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @mal-lunar-28 @lilmisssona @aaasia111 @galaxycatdrawz @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @rebecca-johnson-28 @mellhwang @lixie-phoria @michelle4eve @gxtwllsn @xxstrayland @kibs-and-bits

[forest-hashira]

A Little Swing

heeellllloooooo everyone! i'm back with another demon slayer fic for y'all, this time as yet another entry for @kentopedia's "Love Through the Ages" collab! i can't even definitively say this is my last entry bc my brain is still cooking up ideas whoops. make sure to check out that masterlist to see everyone else's entries, and to find my first two entries there as well (one for gojo, one for geto)!

also, i'm apparently making a game of it now, not writing more than one thing for any demon slayer character. i've got 3/9 hashira so far, who's next? kidding, kidding.... unless?

read on ao3 here | wc: ~1k | cw: gender neutral reader, reader is described as pretty & wears a dress, brief mentions/consumption of alcohol, the whole polycule is here but no names are exchanged

Parties weren’t really your scene, especially parties as big as this one; they never had been. But you always said yes when one friend or another asked you to go with them, insisting that you’d find someone to dance and have a good time with. You always hoped they were right, but so far that had never been the case. 

And now here you were, tucked into the corner of the bar, having long since lost track of your friends. The music from the live band was loud, far louder than you’d expected, so little effort was made to communicate with anyone but the bartender. So you stood there, leaning against the bar, sipping your gin and tonic, watching the rest of the partygoers dance and laugh and spill their drinks on one another. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone making their way towards you, and when you turned you were more than a little surprised to see a young woman, probably about your age. 

“Hi,” she greeted, a small smile on her lips. “I saw you over here all by yourself, and thought you looked kinda lonely, so I wanted to invite you to come dance with me and my friends. We all think you’re really pretty.”

You blinked in surprise at her words, not having expected her to be so forward. As you considered her offer, you took a moment to look her over: she wasn’t very tall, but she wasn’t particularly short, either, with dark hair a little past her shoulders and light colored eyes – maybe grey? It was hard to tell in the dim lighting by the bar. The dress she wore was blue, and even for a flapper style dress it seemed a little short to you, the neckline cut a little lower than most people wore, but it suited her well.

“Who are your friends?”

The girl glanced over her shoulder for a moment, then turned back to you. “The tall man with the white hair, and the two girls in dresses like mine.” She pointed in their direction, though really she didn’t need to; the three of them were impossible to miss.

The man in the group was a giant. You could tell he was well over six feet tall, even from this distance, and his broad shoulders filled out his shirt almost too well, especially since his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing his forearms; every part of him was large, apparently, though you shoved that thought aside as quickly as it entered your mind, not wanting to allow yourself to drift down… less appropriate avenues. 

Before you were able to pull your eyes off the man, he caught you staring, and he grinned, shooting you a wink that had your face heating with surprise and embarrassment. Deciding that was your cue to look over the other two women, you quickly averted your gaze. The women appeared to be about the same height as the one who had approached you, with similarly dark hair, though one of them had striking yellow bangs that framed her face, and the other wore a high ponytail with hair that still reached the middle of her back. Their dresses matched, as well, both in the same style as the first woman; the one with yellow bangs wore red, the one with the ponytail wore purple. Even with the unreliable lighting in the room, you could tell they were beautiful.

“You know what?” you said, half to yourself, half to the woman still waiting for an answer. Downing the rest of your drink in one go, you set your glass back down on the bar with a small grin. “Yeah. Let’s go dance.”

Her eyes lit up at your words, and she was quick to grab your hand and pull you back to the dancefloor with her; you couldn’t help but laugh softly at her eagerness, and you hurried to keep up with her.

Pushing through the other partygoers proved easier than you expected, and it wasn’t long at all until you’d reached the rest of the group.

“Hi!” the woman in the red dress enthused, her cheeks flushed, though whether that was from exertion from dancing or from drinking, you couldn’t tell.

“You look really good in that dress!” added the woman in the purple dress, having to shout a little to be heard over the music and laughter.

“Thanks!” you replied with a grin, giving a little twirl to show off the full thing. It was a relatively simple piece, a deep green that accentuated the shape of your body in a very flattering way. The most interesting thing about the dress is the fact that it sparkles, light glinting off the material with every twist and turn you make as you settle into the rhythm of the music with your new companions.

“Glad you could join us!”

The sound of the man’s voice has you turning to face him; it’s a little higher than you would’ve expected from someone of his stature, but it suits him.

“I don’t usually get asked to dance with such good looking people!” Maybe the drink was making you braver than usual, or maybe you were just tired of being a wallflower at all the parties you got dragged to by friends who would eventually abandon you. Either way, you were ready to cut loose and enjoy yourself for once. 

“Hard not to want someone as flashy as you by our sides!” He winked at you again, his platinum hair and magenta eyes practically glowing in the colorful flashes of light that engulfed the dance floor. 

A pleasant warmth filled your chest at his words, and you couldn’t help but laugh. Conversation between the four of you was practically nonexistent after that, the music washing over you as you twisted and swayed spun to the beat, laughing so hard your ribs ached and the muscles in your cheeks hurt. 

For once, your friend had been right: you had found someone to dance and have a good time with.

feels a little weird posting something so short (especially since it took me so long to actually finish, rip) but hey! there's a first time for everything, lol. also ty leigh for looking this over for me!!! i hope you guys all enjoyed this little bite of sparkle daddy and Vibes 💜

tagging: @kentopedia @mitsuristoleme @kentohours @witchbybirth @marinnnnnnnnn @peachdues @ghost-1-y

divider by benkeibear

[spartanguard]

when Emma falls in love [from the vault]

Summary: When Emma falls in love, I know that boy will never be the same | When she came to Storybrooke, finding love was the farthest thing from Emma's mind. Until she started to get to know Ian, the bartender down at the Rabbit Hole. A crush is the last thing she needs—not when she's in the middle of a murder investigation and her son keeps talking about curses. Or maybe it's exactly what both of them need. [Inspired by "When Emma Falls In Love" by Taylor Swift] A/N: This is the next in my series of fics inspired by Taylor Swift's vault tracks (mostly from Speak Now (Taylor's Version), but there will be more!). Wanted to post this before we all died from TTPD tomorrow ;) I think this is also my favorite of the ones I've written so far; hope you like it, too! And, as always, thank you to @optomisticgirl for being the best beta ever. rated T | 6.2k words | AO3

When the door swung open, Emma was half expecting it to be someone from downstairs yelling at her to stop her pacing; too many years living in crappy apartments had done that to her. But it was just Mary Margaret, coming home from work.

That said— “Uh, you okay? If you pace any harder, you’re gonna wear a hole in the floor,” her roommate remarked.

“Ugh, sorry,” Emma answered, taking a seat at one of the barstools at the counter. “It was that or attacking the toaster again.”

“You didn’t get fired again, did you?” Mary Margaret asked as she set a bag of groceries on the counter. “‘Cause last I checked, you were your own boss.”

Emma scoffed. “No; just…other stuff.” She swallowed. “Boy stuff?” (She wasn’t sure why she said it like it was a question, other than the fact that she’d never been one to talk about relationships or anything—never had anyone she could talk to about that, so she wasn’t sure if this was the right way to start.)

“Well, that’s convenient,” Mary Margaret said, and reached into the paper sack. “I bought wine,” she finished, pulling out a cheap screw-top bottle of rosé.

“Might need more than that.”

“Good thing I got two,” she answered, producing another.

They curled up at opposite ends of the couch, not even bothering with wine glasses. After a few (hefty) sips, Mary Margaret looked at her pointedly and Emma was suddenly very aware of why her students respected her so much. “Okay. Spill.”

Emma sighed, but obliged. “Okay, you know the bartender down at the Rabbit Hole?”

“Not well, but I know who he is. Ian, right?”

“Yeah, Ian Johnson. He, uh…I mean, I…” She hummed. “I think I like him.”

“Oh my god, you sound like one of my fifth graders,” Mary Margaret replied. “You’re attracted to him? Or maybe a little more?”

Emma took another pull from her bottle. “Maybe a lot more.”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

(His ass was fantastic, but that was beside the point.) “But…you know how I am. My history. It hasn’t really been that long since Graham…” She still had a hard time saying died.

“I know,” Mary Margaret said softly. “No one says you have to rush into anything. But if you’re feeling something, it doesn’t hurt to pursue it. Especially if he seems to reciprocate.”

Well, that was her other conundrum, wasn’t it: did he? Much like her, he wasn’t really prone to showing emotion—not noticeably, at least; he wore an air of apathy as well as he did his dark-wash jeans. In fact, she didn’t give him much thought after she first met him—when she’d been called to the bar to drag Leroy to the drunk tank on one of her first overnight shifts as a deputy. 

She’d definitely seen him, though; Ian was certainly easy on the eyes—perfectly disheveled hair above light blue eyes, just the right amount of gingery stubble, and a hint of chest hair visible through the open vee of his appropriately tight henley—but her thoughts towards him didn’t go deeper than the surface. She also hadn’t missed the quick once-over he gave her, though she couldn’t tell if it was in appreciation or merely assessment.

It wasn’t until her following visit (Leroy’s next trip to the station’s overnight accommodations) that he did more than hum at her, but there was very little effort in the casual pickup line he threw at her (and she did her damnedest to ignore the lilt of his foreign accent).

She knew his kind—or so she thought: the type of asshole who hid behind a pretty face and a quick come-on and that was all it took to get into a girl’s pants. Frankly, that was something she’d fallen for a few too many times, but not here—not in Storybrooke. Not when Regina was constantly looking for a reason to send her out of town (even if she won that sheriff election fair and square, Gold’s involvement notwithstanding) or limit her time with Henry.

It wasn’t until the first time she got a call at the bar after Graham died that she exchanged more than passing pleasantries with him. Ian wasn’t the first to express his condolences, but he was the first to say, “It’s just not fair.” That was exactly how she felt, too. And that’s when things started to shift between them.

(Apparently, he and Graham went way back—he didn’t specify how far, but it sounded like a while, the kind of vague forever that seemed prevalent in such a small town. Graham had helped him out of a few scrapes, and vice versa. “He was a good man,” Ian had concluded. “Seems those always go too soon.” It felt like there was more to go with that statement, but then “Only the Good Die Young” had come on the jukebox and it was a little too on the nose and she had to get out of there.)

But it really took a turn the night he intervened while she was breaking up a bar fight, getting in the way of a drunken punch meant for her and taking it in the cheek instead. (That was also the night she finally noticed his left arm ended not in a hand, but a prosthesis, as she made the assailant wait in the squad car while she put together an ice pack for Ian’s face; she also found out that night that he mixed a mean whiskey sour.)

So they were…she wasn’t sure if they could really say “friends” after that—not quite a team, either; allies, maybe? Whatever it was, it was definitely something she needed. 

She started to run into him at Granny’s after that. The first time, she was getting her morning coffee before heading into the station; he was getting some tea before heading home after closing the bar. Then they’d see each other at lunch hour; if the diner was full, they shared a booth. But then that became something of a habit, too, on the days he didn’t close and she didn’t work overnight (though they eventually started another of sharing a drink at the end of their late-night shifts).

Admittedly, it was a little awkward at first; Emma had never been great at the whole small-talk thing (and even worse at the making-friends thing)—but on the bright side, so was he. She found out little things, like when a favorite song would come on (“Behind Blue Eyes” was up there, unsurprisingly/heartbreakingly), or when she’d ask for a liquor recommendation (rum—always rum). She let slip at one point how much she enjoyed Motown, and he quickly picked up on her hot chocolate order.

More solid information came to light later; as she’d guessed, he was a loner, too—no family left, and had drifted around England and the US until he ended up in Storybrooke, somehow. He made an appreciative comment about her being a fellow jailbird over a beat-up copy of that awful article in the Mirror, but his face fell when she mentioned how old she’d been—a rare emotional moment for him. (But not as intense as when she’d commented on the tattoo on his forearm late one night, and the unmistakable look of loss took over; all they could do at that point was make a toast to living through heartbreak.)

It was…she didn’t want to say easy, but it was nice—there were no expectations, no responsibilities. Just the pleasure of each other’s company, and a sense of kindred comraderie. 

She was also aware, but ignoring the fact, that the less she knew, the better. There was less chance that he was lying to her or holding something back; less chance for him to get disappointed in who she was. (Less chance to be hurt.) 

“He does, right?” Mary Margaret’s question dragged her back to the present. 

Which brought Emma to the downside of being attracted to someone whose walls abutted hers: it was hard to get a read on what was going on in his head, especially when he wasn’t outwardly expressive (more than when they first met, but it was still rare). All she could do was shrug at her roommate and take another pull of wine. 

“Yeah, he’s always come off as kind of aloof,” Mary Margaret agreed. “Not altogether unfeeling—more like, not a lot?”

Emma was the last person to make any comments there. What was it she’d said to Graham? “Not feeling anything is an attractive option when what you're feeling sucks.” They both had reason enough for that. 

“But it looks like you’ve gotten closer to him than anyone in a while,” her roommate went on, “and vice versa?”

“More or less,” Emma conceded. “Present company notwithstanding.”

“I’m honored. And you know what I say about hope,” she answered. 

Emma did, but wasn’t sure she was ready to say she was that far in. She extended the end of her bottle to Mary Margaret, who clinked her own against it in solidarity. 

By the end of the night, she had no further clarity on the situation and the beginnings of a hangover. Maybe she was overthinking it—or maybe it wasn’t even worth overthinking; it’s not like these things ever worked out in her favor anyway.

But…she did keep thinking about hope. 

———.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.———

Her friends eventually dragged her out to the Rabbit Hole for a girls’ night. They’d cited the fact that she missed all the excitement on Valentine’s Day, with Ashley’s engagement, so she needed to make up for it. 

Despite still being new to the whole having-female-friends thing (having any friends, really), she had fun. Ian poured the drinks strong and sent more than a few small, sideways grins her way as he watched her dance with the others. She was hoping her subsequent blush could be blamed on exertion or alcohol, except—

“Oh my god,” Ruby yelled at her as they returned to their booth for a refreshment. “Just go screw him already.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been eye-fucking the bartender all night! Go do something about it!”

Well, now her cheeks surely matched her bright red dress—and, to make it worse (or better, Ruby would probably say), when she glanced over at Ian a moment later to see if he’d heard, he was smirking and raised an eyebrow as soon as she caught his eye.

(They hadn’t crossed that line yet but—it had been close. She’d been all too aware of the proximity of their lips when she was helping him shut down last week and they’d collided in the back hall—her hands on his firm chest, his coming to her waist, the dart of her eyes to his mouth—she’d basically sprinted out of there.)

There was definitely an itch to scratch, but she wasn’t about to go there with him. Because she knew, with him, it would be so much more than that. (And if he didn’t reciprocate…that would be even worse.)

“So I hear you’ve been hanging out with the bartender,” Regina asked her one day after she dropped Henry off at the mayor’s house.

Emma shrugged. “I guess,” she answered, downplaying whatever it was they had—if only because she had a feeling Regina would find a way to weaponize it. 

(Also, he was good with Henry—like, really good, maybe even better than she was. For someone who didn’t appear to care much about…anything, he always seemed to brighten and engage so much more around her kid whenever they ran into him at Granny’s. He even indulged Henry’s theories about the “curse”, but her son hadn’t decided who Ian was in this supposed other life. Emma didn’t have any ideas, either, if only because that meant Ian was the one person safe from Henry’s childlike scrutiny.)

“Even with everything he’s done?”

That got her attention. “What has he done?”

“More like what hasn’t he done; you’re the sheriff—you could look up his rap sheet. He’s got some blood on those hands—well, hand. Has he even mentioned how that happened?”

“No,” Emma said stiffly. “He hasn’t.”

“I don’t suppose he’s mentioned anything about his ex either, then. Who was married.”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, maybe you should look into it—so you can be aware of just who you’re allowing around my son.”

The mayor pointedly closed the door at that, leaving Emma alone with her thoughts—never a good combination. She was mulling it over on the drive to the station—how much did she actually believe what Regina was saying? 

But her curiosity was too piqued to let it rest. She felt like the biggest asshole, but after she got settled for the start of her shift, she ended up in the records room, particularly in front of the drawer labeled H–J.

As much as she didn’t want to—she had to know. She slid the drawer open and dug through the folders, until she found the one near the back labeled Johnson, Ian Brennan.

It was thick.  His ‘jailbird’ comment from a while back returned to her; she thought he’d been joking at the time.

She didn’t look inside until she was in her office, with the door shut—not that she expected any visitors, least of all him (he was working anyways), but she still felt like she was doing something wrong, even if she had perfectly legal access to these files.

She took a deep breath and flipped it open.

Ian was glaring at her from the photo paper-clipped to the stack of forms—a bit younger, a bit angrier than the man she knew, with a fire in those blue eyes she’d never seen, even from behind a layer of guyliner and shaggy bangs. 

Beneath it, typed out, it listed his name, birthdate (although the year was smudged beyond recognition), that he was born in England, and a charge for drunk driving.

The next sheet: illegal possession of a firearm.

The next several that followed included a handful of drug-related charges, mostly involving the transporting of them.

The last page said manslaughter.

She slammed the folder shut and threw it in the empty bottom drawer of her desk.

In vain, she tried to pretend she hadn’t seen it. Maybe someone planted it there? She wouldn’t put it past Regina, though as to why, she couldn’t guess. The comments about an affair, though—she’d done the whole dating-a-married-guy thing; it hadn’t ended well, but it still wasn’t something she was keen on.

For the next week or so, she managed to avoid him—took all her Granny’s orders to go; sent Ruby to deal with anything at the bar; and one time, ran down an alley when she saw him coming the opposite way down the sidewalk. (She didn’t say she was mature about it…or subtle.)

When she got home later that week, there were two bottles of rosé on the counter again. “My turn,” Mary Margaret said, handing one over.

Was infidelity just a thing here? Because now her roommate was dealing with it, too. Emma’s opinion of David wasn’t the highest at the moment—he couldn’t string her best friend along and stay with his wife—but the longer Mary Margaret pursued this, the more heartache it was gonna cause.

“Thanks for talking to me about it,” she said, halfway through the bottle. “What about you? How are things with Ian?”

Emma took a long, long drink. 

“Gotcha,” Mary Margaret said knowingly.

———.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.———

It came to a head when she was in the station one morning, having arrived to her shift early in order to avoid seeing him at the diner. She was dealing with some paperwork when she heard the front door open. “In here,” she called out, assuming it was Regina telling her off for something she hadn’t done right. Footsteps approached. “What would you like to yell at me about today, Madam Mayor?” she asked sarcastically.

“I hadn’t planned on yelling, but I did want to ask why you’ve been avoiding me.”

Oh shit. Ian was there in the doorway, a coffee cup and bag from Granny’s in his hand, and a serious set in his stare.

“I haven’t,” she lied, then turned back to the computer screen (not that it was doing anything—it still ran Windows 98, after all). “I’ve just been busy.”

“See, I’m actually quite perceptive,” he replied, then stepped forward to set the foodstuffs on the corner of her desk. “And this? This is avoiding.”

She closed her eyes and sighed. “Yeah,” she had to admit. They’d always been honest with each other, even if they’d clearly withheld some things. And given how poorly her attempted lie a moment ago went, it would be dumb to try to again.

“What is it, love? Did I do something wrong?”

She opened her eyes to look up at him, and regretted it—he looked genuinely hurt. What she was about to do probably wouldn’t help.

Staying seated, she bent down to open the bottom drawer on her desk, and then pulled out his file. Then she carefully set it in front of her.

He immediately recognized it, she could tell. “Ah.”

“I’m sorry; I was talking to Regina and she said some things and—curiosity got the best of me.”

“I see.”

She couldn’t tell if he was angry or hurt—or both—but either way, she felt like an ass. May as well throw fuel on the fire. “She mentioned something about your ex, too—specifically, her marital status.”

“She did, did she?” His words were suddenly emotionless.

“Is…is that all you’re gonna say?” she eventually asked quietly.

He blinked slowly, as when he opened his eyes, they were just a bit duller—a bit more reserved. (That was worse than anything else she’d seen recently.)

“What else needs to be said, Swan?” he shrugged. “You apparently have all you need to know right there, between that and whatever the mayor has told you.”

His gaze settled somewhere near the floor and silence stretched uncomfortably between them. Even louder to her, though, was the fact he was just…accepting it. 

“Seriously?” she snapped. “You’re not gonna defend yourself, or fight back at whatever is incorrect in my assumptions?”

He furrowed his brow. “What good would it do?”

“Show me you give a crap!” she shouted, standing so fast it sent her rolling chair sliding into the wall. “Because I’m trying to figure out whatever the hell this is,” she went on, gesturing between them, “but I can’t tell if you actually care or not.”

Finally, something steely settled in his gaze. 

“Not feeling anything is an attractive option when what you’re feeling sucks,” he stated, plainly but pointedly. 

She swallowed at the recitation of what she once had said to Graham. She already knew she wasn’t the first sheriff to strike up a friendship with him, but she was probably the only one Ian had thrown their own words back at. 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make it go away,” she countered. 

“If you do it long enough, it does.”

“And then what? You just never feel anything for the rest of your life?” God, Mary Margaret was really rubbing off on her—though that didn’t mean her calling him out wasn’t a little hypocritical. 

“It had been working well for me.”

“Fine then,” she spat. “You can go back to your lonely existence and I’ll fuck off to mine and we’ll just leave it at that.” She crossed her arms and curled in on herself; she was definitely pouting, but the alternative was flopping back in her seat and crying. 

His face relaxed, almost going the other way into a frown. “Bloody hell, that’s not what—no, love, I—I just thought you knew me better than that,” he admitted, almost apologetically. 

“Well, apparently I don’t,” she parroted back. “I’m wondering if I know anything about you. This is some serious shit, Ian.”

“And I thought you of all people might understand that,” he said matter-of-factly. “I remember the headlines after you arrived in town; just because you have a badge now doesn’t mean you’ve always been on the right side of the law, either.”

“I’m not pretending I didn’t!”

“Neither am I. I just don’t go broadcasting it, given that I still have the option not to.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’d be telling people I killed someone either.”

“I—” He started to talk, but then closed his mouth and clenched his jaw. After taking a deep breath, he said, “Not that I really need to, but can I tell you the full story? Before you completely write me off?”

She nodded, but held back what she was really thinking: that she didn’t want him to write himself off. 

“I did get into some bad shit,” he started. “My brother was gone, my ex had just died, and I was suddenly an amputee, so I was alone and spiraling. Fell in with the wrong crowd—classic story. Got in deep with a drug ring, and then I got caught. Killed a member of a warring cartel in the process. But, by some miracle, I had a great lawyer. They got a few of the charges thrown out for lack of evidence and I reached a plea deal on the others, along with a heavily reduced sentence for my cooperation in taking down much of the rest of the ring. Did my time, now I’m here. And I regret it every day.”

“Damn.” That was heavier than expected. 

“Aye.” He scratched nervously behind his ear. “Anything else?”

She chewed her bottom lip; she was nervous to ask, but she had to. “So, your ex…”

“My ex was married when we met. But it wasn’t a happy marriage. And I didn’t lure her away, or whatever may have been said—she ran off with me. But I loved her, so I went with it. Until her husband found us and went mad. Tried to cut off my hand; stabbed her. Doctors had to take it the rest of the way off,” he explained, raising his prosthesis. “Add that to the list of reasons why I fell in with the wrong people.” 

Fuck. “Yeah, that’ll do it.”

“Indeed.” He toyed with the fingers on his false hand for a moment, and then looked back up at her. “But Swan, why couldn’t you just ask me that? Rather than take the word of a woman who we’ve all seen lie to you—to everyone—before.”

She swallowed. “Because I couldn’t take the chance I was wrong about you.”

“Were you?” 

It took her by surprise. “Was I what?”

“Were you wrong about me?” He was staring back at her intently, like he hadn’t just asked a simple but potentially earth-shattering question—but also looked like he was bracing for impact.

She nearly stopped breathing. Not that she had planned any part of this conversation, but when she imagined talking to him again, she thought it’d be more about her figuring out whether he’d let her inside his walls. Logically, it was only fair that he did the same; it was just the first time anyone had followed her in—not to mention challenged her once they were there. (Especially not someone with intense blue eyes, bolder than she’d yet seen them.) And she didn’t know how to respond.

“Because I know I’m not the biggest catch or anything—I’m certainly not Graham—” he went on (and apparently knew where to sting her), “and yeah, I probably still drink a bit more rum than is advised, but other than this—” he nodded at the folder, “—I’ve been nothing but honest with you. So now it’s up to you to decide: whatever it is you’re worried about—were you wrong?”

It had been a long-ass time since anyone had been that bluntly honest with her. (And never someone she was interested in.)

He was right—her lie detector had never gone off with him, either. (It also hadn’t when Regina was gossiping, but it was a little less accurate with noticing exaggerations or omissions.) 

He’d never really answered her earlier question, though. “I just need to know one thing,” she said as she stepped around the desk. “I’m not alone in feeling…this, right?” she asked, blatantly stepping into his space. 

“No,” he confirmed on a breath.

“Then no, I wasn’t wrong. I think what I was actually scared of…was that I was right.”

“Right?”

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and quickly found his lips, kissing away any further confusion. (As she was finding out, they were both a bit better at nonverbal communication.)

(And he did taste a bit like rum, but—she liked it.)

———.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.———

She wanted to say things changed from there—they took it fast, or slow, or whatever—but in reality, their relationship really didn’t change. There were still the meals at Granny’s, the nights at the bar. She’d never really been a date-night kind of girl. But emotionally—woah. 

It was like she was seeing a whole other side of Ian—but at the same time, it felt like it had always been there, just hiding below the surface. It wasn’t a universal thing—he was still a bit reserved while at work, or around just about anyone other than her and Henry—which made what they had feel all the more special.

There were also more than a few makeout sessions sprinkled in there, too. (Being chased out of the back hall of Granny’s by said proprietress, giggling like teenagers, was one of her more cherished memories since arriving here.)

For a short while, it was simple and sweet and it made her happy. For a little bit, she maybe had the kind of life she’d always hoped—with her son, friends, and a guy she really liked.

But it was like the universe noticed or something—no, Emma Swan couldn’t simply have nice things. Shit always, inevitably hit the fan.

Starting with having to arrest and book her roommate for murder.

She texted ahead and he had a shot waiting for her when she got to the bar after, then a couple more after that. She was definitely loitering—and he could tell. “What is it, love? Aside from the obvious.”

One thing she’d realized: he was exceedingly good at reading her, like a book he couldn’t put down.

“I don’t want to go back to the apartment,” she admitted. “It’s not that I’m afraid to be alone, but knowing that she’s in a cell and I’m there—and that someone may have been in the loft—I just…it freaks me out a bit.”

He swallowed. “Forgive me if this is too forward, but…I could go with you,” he offered. “At least to make sure everything is safe.”

“I’d like that.”

The walk to the loft from the Rabbit Hole was short but filled with energy; there was literally no reason for her to be any sort of excited, but she never invited guys back to her place. Even if she had no plans of anything intimate happening, this was something of a big step for her.

Of course, it ended up being anticlimactic—there was nothing amiss in the flat—but she was still hesitant to want to leave his presence, while at the same time not wanting to seem needy or like she was coming onto him in a subversive way.

“I, uh, could sleep on the couch, if you’d feel better,” he offered, doing that adorable nervous scratch behind the ear. Right—it had been a while for him with this kind of stuff, too.

“Um, yeah, I would. Thanks.”

That was the night she learned he snored—but the sound eventually lulled her to sleep, too.

As it did for the next few nights.

Then came the one after she narrowly escaped that crazy Jefferson’s house with Mary Margaret. She was still shaking as she took the stairs to the apartment and almost didn’t notice Ian sitting on the landing, nearly tripping over his feet.

“Swan, what’s wrong? You never answered my texts so I got worried and came here and, well—I wasn’t sure who to call when the sheriff is the one missing.”

She invited him in—or tried to, but she was trembling so much, she could barely get the key in the lock. Not until his steady hand wrapped around hers and helped. 

Once inside, she nearly collapsed just closing the door—both out of relief, and because her adrenaline was finally wearing off. But Ian caught her. And for the first time in years, she let herself be comforted by someone else. (She didn’t cry—she wasn’t ready for that kind of vulnerability yet—but this was kind of a big deal.)

“Do you want me to stay on the couch again tonight?” he murmured when she began to sway, fatigue winning over. She shook her head into his shoulder. (Also: he smelled good. Like, real good.) “Should…should I go?” She shook her head again.

Emma wasn’t a spooner. She took what she needed and then she left. But that was the night she understood why people enjoyed it so much. And waking up still wrapped in his strong arms was a kind of comfort she hadn’t known existed.

There was a brief—but weird—reprieve from the emotional heaviness when it turned out Kathryn Nolan was miraculously alive (despite her heart supposedly being outside her body), and then they held a party to welcome Mary Margaret back home. She shared (more than) a few drinks with Ian after the former; their first official outing as a couple, if it could be called that, was the latter. Mary Margaret arched an eyebrow and smirked at her as she and Ian moved around the kitchen getting ready. Emma just blushed—and then blushed harder when Ian pressed a quick kiss on her cheek as he stepped past her.

Then August kind of went crazy—his offer of help in dealing with the Regina-Sidney-whatever turned into another journey of emotional whiplash. She slumped onto what had become her usual stool at the bar, just a few minutes before close. Ian put some tea in front of her rather than anything stronger and took her upstairs after he’d locked up. He lived there, apparently, in a pretty spartan studio apartment. 

“Tell me,” he said gently. Not long ago, she would have brushed something like that off—but not anymore; not with him.

“I’m just tired of all this crap. Not just Regina—the whole curse thing, too. It was fine when it was Henry and I could play along, but now August? And he just—expected me to solve his problem? Just like that? No—no way.” She sighed. “It’s like everyone wants something from me or to fit some role; no one wants just Emma.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong,” he teased lightly. “Because I do.”

Well. She couldn’t argue with that.

And it became all the more obvious when she attacked his lips—and realized the rest of him was in agreement. She’d hesitated to take their relationship to that level; physical relationships were what she was used to, but adding in the emotional layer was something else—something more. 

But, as she learned, that was in a good way.

And while drifting off into a post-coital slumber while wrapped in Ian’s steady arms, she didn’t really care what went on in the outside world—as long as she had this.

———.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.———

Should have known that’s when it would all really, truly crash down on her. Henry—god—seeing him in that hospital bed…and not being able to do anything…but it worked: she believed. In magic, the curse—everything. (Especially once Regina confirmed it.)

So now she was on a mission, practically storming from the hospital—when she ran into a pair of arms she’d give anything to just be able to take shelter in right now. “Love—is Henry okay? What’s going on?”

For a minute, she just looked in Ian’s eyes: that now-familiar blue that carried a wisdom beyond his years and echoed his every emotion, so different now from when she’d first met him—but in a good way. The way his worry creased his brow, the weight of his hand on her waist. If the world was about to change, she wanted to memorize him—them—in this moment. “Is everything alright?” he asked again.

She rose up on her toes to give him a firm, but all-too-brief kiss. “It fucking will be,” she told him, then ran off to save the world—or something.

———.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.———

An eternity later (really only a couple hours, but holy shit did it feel longer), she had fought a dragon and then apparently broken a goddamn curse with True Love’s Kiss. All that really mattered was that Henry was okay, but all around her, everyone was coming to terms with what had been done to all of them.

She’d never expected to find out the waitress was a werewolf, or the therapist was a freaking cricket—and really never thought she’d be reunited with her parents. It was amazing, but it was also a lot.

She left Henry with his grandparents—god, grandparents—so she could take a minute and just—breathe.

The salty sea air hit her nose and she realized her feet had taken her to the docks. The view of the sea was soothing, but then she saw someone else there taking in the horizon—someone familiar. He wore the same clothes—the same motorcycle jacket, the black sweater that fit him extremely well, atop his usual dark jeans. But rather than the hand-like prosthesis she’d come to recognize, there was a hook—a freaking stereotypical pirate hook—at the end of his left arm.

(Henry had told her the fairytale counterpart of just about everyone in town—except for Ian. The illustrations in his book were good but maybe not distinct and there were a few options. She had a pretty good idea who it was narrowed down to now, though.)

“Ian?” she asked as she approached, partly to get his attention—and partly because she wasn’t sure who she was talking to.

He turned at the sound of her voice, but looked confused. Until he blinked and shook his head. “Aye, it’s me,” he answered, moving toward her. “My real name, though—it’s Killian, Killian Jones; it…took me a minute there.”

Killian. Similar, but different. It suited him. 

But also: Kill-Ian—was the man she held so important now gone, effectively killed by his new—true—self?

“So…how much was real? About you?” she had to ask.

“Some of it.” Apparently that nervous ear scratch carried over. “I am—was—am? A pirate, for decades, until I was caught.”

“Captain Hook?” she wondered, nodding at his prosthesis.

“Ah, so you’ve heard of me,” he smirked. It was similar to the one she knew—the same dimple—but it had a darker edge to it.

“Who hasn’t?” she replied, ignoring the bit of discomfort that was…well, adding to her overall sense of unease.

“The truth—my actual life—is a bit more gruesome than what I once told you. I wanted revenge for the murder of my love. That part was true—she had been the Dark One’s wife, and he killed her, then took my hand.” He emphasized it by toying with the (rather sharp) end of his hook.

Right; Mr. Gold was apparently—actually—a centuries-old sorcerer. “I’m not gonna have to lock you up for going after him, am I?”

“No. See, I got sloppy; I lost sight of things, and that’s how I was caught—by your parents’ kingdom, actually. Was about to be hanged when the Evil Queen’s knight rescued me. Graham.” Her heart skipped a beat. “In return, I offered them my services should they ever need them. Never heard from them again, and then got swept up in the curse.”

She swallowed. “Did she ever take you up on it? During the curse?”

He shook his head. “Never.”

“So, us…” God, she couldn’t even put it into words. If what they’d shared wasn’t…hadn’t meant…she couldn’t fathom.

He very quickly moved into her space and took her hand. “That was very real, Swan.” His gaze had never felt more intense as he went on. “It was my understanding that the curse twisted things—changed us. I had always been someone who felt things very strongly and deeply; it’s why I was so single-mindedly focused on revenge for decades. But then under the curse…I felt nothing—not a bloody thing, for years on end—until I met you, and it all came back. It was like my heart was turned back on—like you brought me back to life.” He rubbed his coarse thumb over the back of her hand. “I know you’re probably questioning things again—especially given that you don’t fully know me, the real version, now—but Emma, I still know you, and I still desperately want you.”

She sighed in relief and nearly sagged into his arms. “Good. Because I think I love you.”

He smiled; it started as a small thing, but he couldn’t hold back from turning into a grin. “That’s appropriate, because I’m fairly certain I love you, too.”

There was a lot she needed to figure out—her life was all kinds of a mess right now—but him—this—whoever he was, he was hers. Even if she didn’t fully know him, it still felt like her heart fit right in the palm of his hand (and vice versa).

She wasted no further time in wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his; he was equally quick to reciprocate.

And, actually? Killian kissed even better than Ian did.

———.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.———

thanks for reading! Tagging some friends (including the fabulous and supportive Word Forge): @ohmightydevviepuu @shireness-says @iverna @thejollyroger-writer @wistfulcynic @phiralovesloki @initiala @idoltina @xpumpkindumplingx @cocohook38 @kmomof4 @colinoeyebrows @pirateherokillian @annytecture @stubblesandwich @wingedlioness @scientificapricot @snowbellewells @searchingwardrobes @jrob64 and I know there's more I tend to include but tumblr is being weird about it rn.

[erikatsu]

HEART LIKE YOURS — ARATAKI ITTO

✶⋆₊⁎ SUMMARY: even an "evil" oni deserves to feel loved too

✶⋆₊⁎ PAIRING: arataki itto x gn!reader

✶⋆₊⁎ WARNINGS: slight angst. mostly comfort. pre-established relationship. no pronouns. just itto getting the love he deserves.

✶⋆₊⁎ NOTE: inspired by me and @suyacho crying over an edit. sfw but minors please do not follow.

there was something about the sunset that made the world seem better than it was, especially when you were watching it with someone you loved. however, sometimes the golden hour wasn't always a happy time. not when it had been days since you had last seen your boyfriend.

while him taking off at random times was normally not a cause for concern, it was this time because he hadn't told anyone where he was going. not even granny oni knew where he was, and you had been worried sick. you had searched high and low at all his onikabuto hunting grounds, asked the kids he played tcg with, and even checked the jail. your search had come up empty handed until you remembered his favorite spot in all of inazuma.

there was a small island in kannazuka, right outside of the kujou encampment, with the perfect view of narukami island. it was a place only you knew about, and it was the last one you could think of. thankfully, luck had been on your side.

itto was sitting down, feet dangling over the edge of a cliffside when you found him, staring off into the skyline. he barely turned his head to look at you when you sat beside him, going back to enjoying the sunset mixing in with the sakura blooms of his hometown. you raised your hand, gently rubbing it against his back before letting out a sigh, "you gave us all quite a scare, y'know?"

he bit his tongue, not wanting to burden you with the troubles on his mind. his silence was troubling, it always was. he was never quiet. he was always so loud and hard to miss, but the void of anything being said was by far the loudest thing you had ever heard. he was upset about something, you could tell by the slight furrow of his brow as he watched the setting sun.

"you know i can tell when something is bothering you, right?" you questioned, your voice soft. you allowed your hand to drop from his back, placing it on top of his as it rested on his thigh. "you can talk to me about anything."

"you deserve better," was all he could manage to say. he squeezed onto your fingers as you laced them between his, quickly letting go as if you'd leave. it only made you hold on tighter. "i'm just some dumb, evil oni."

you frowned, reaching up to cup his cheek, "don't say that. you're so much more than that."

itto wanted to scoff, and he didn't want to take what you were saying to heart. in his eyes, you could do so much better than him. you deserved someone who could spoil you rotten because they held down a job. you should be with someone who wasn't constantly spending the night in jail or causing problems just by existing. someone who was smart and not reckless. he couldn't give you the things you wanted or deserved– let alone the world.

"itto, do you know why i love you?" you asked after a moment of silence. he shook his head 'no' because it was the truth. he had never felt the need to ask, not until recently when he'd overheard people talking about the two of you. he didn't care what people thought about him, he was used to the bad rep, but he did care what they thought about you.

with a small smile, you ghosted your thumb over his cheek, "i love you because you have the biggest heart out of everyone i've met. you would do anything for someone, even if you had just met. you're the one person i can be my complete self around because i know you would never judge me, and you immediately made me feel like i was home. you never fail to make me smile, even when you're sad yourself. you amaze me everyday, you know? how could someone be so gentle yet so rowdy at the same time?

"i love running around the town with you, singing away without a care in the world. i love how you sing, whether it's when you're bathing or when we're laying down at night and you're lightly tracing patterns into my skin. i love how you look at me, like im the best battle-worthy onikabuto you have ever found. i love you and all of your flaws. i don't want, need, or deserve better because there is no one better. i just need you."

he looked away from you, but leaned into your touch as tears filled his eyes. he had no idea how much he meant to you, and hearing it was relieving but filled him with guilt at the same time. he's arataki itto, he didn't need reassurance. he lead the best gang in town, was a ramen eating champion, and he had you.

"you're not evil, and while you may lack common sense you're not dumb. you are a good oni, and you deserve to be loved just like anyone else."

while itto may never understand how someone like you could ever love someone like him, he was so thankful that you did. and as long as you allowed it, he would never let you go.

"i really hate to break this to you," he tried to recompose himself, immediately picking his chipper persona back up. "but, i love you more."

TAGS: @dxlucs @dottores @dilu3 @myalbedo @mxnjiros

[vioartemis]

All yours

(Emma Myers x fem! reader)

Summary: Emma overhears you singing and begs for you to sing her something. Warnings: none Request is here (and the additional stuff as the music if you want to listen to it while reading (especially the last part)) (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

As far as you could remember, you always loved singing. But never in front of anyone. You were a little scared of what people would say, especially people you didn't know for too long.

Even your best-friend never heard you sing, despite being one of the people you trusted and loved the most. Maybe you loved her a little too much, by the way.

You may or may not had a crush on her for years but had always been too scared to tell her. You didn't want to risk ruining everything between you two.

The moments you shared were what you cherished the most, even though they got rarer since she started acting professionally. You were happy for her of course, but you missed her too.

So, when she told you she had some time to rest, you immediately invited her to your appartement. She too was more than happy to see you again, and moved in for the time she would stay.

Living with her made you realize how hard it would be not to show how in love you were. It also made you realize that this is what you wanted. Live with her. See her every morning, every night. Hear her mumbling a 'good morning' with her raspy morning voice.

You were head over heels in love with her.

Right now, you were having a shower, while Emma was watching tv in the living room. You put on your 'shower playlist', a compilation of your favorite songs at the moment, and started showering.

After a little while, your all-time favorite song started playing, and you couldn't help but thing along while washing your hair.

What you didn't know was that Emma could hear you sing from the living room. At first she didn't realize it was you, she thought it was just you listening to music, but then she recognized your voice.

She sat up and got closer to the bathroom's door, but the water still running prevented her from hearing properly.

So, when you got out of the room, wet hair falling on your shoulders, she didn't hesitate to ask you if you could sing for her.

"I heard you when you were in the shower... but because of the water I couldn't hear properly... Please Y/n!"

"Emma, you know you're my best friend, right? But I'm not singing for you, or anyone. Sorry"

"Come on!"

"No"

"Pleaseee"

"Nope"

You went to your bedroom to grab a sweater that you put on your oversize shirt.

"I'll do every chore for you"

"Tempting, but still no"

"Please please pleaseee"

She looked at you with puppy eyes, her secret weapon to get you to do anything. She really had you wrapped around her finger.

"Okay, fine! You know I can't resist when you do this" you sighed, defeated "Any particular request?"

"As long as I can hear you sing again, I'm happy"

"I'll take that as a 'no' then"

You took a moment to think about what song you could pick. There was way to many songs you'd love to sing, but you had to choose wisely. If you could give her a hint on your feelings for her in the process, that would be an absolute win.

After a minute, you looked up for the instrumental version of the song on YouTube. Singing acapella wasn't your favorite thing.

"Okay" you took a deep breath "Let's do this"

You pressed play and waited for the right moment to start.

"Maybe, it's the way you say my name Maybe, it's the way you play your game But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you"

The 'funny' thing with this song was that it fit perfectly your feelings towards her. She had nothing to do with the other people you met, she had something special that got you drawn to her so quickly.

Dandelions was one of her favorite songs. Now hearing you sing it was a whole other thing. Your voice truly was amazing.

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time Praying to God that one day you'll be mine Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time"

This part was by far your favorite. You had wished your feelings were shared so much, you couldn't count how many times.

Oh, how she wished you meant what you were singing. The simple thought of you praying that she'd be yours made butterflies grow in her stomach.

"Dandelion, into the wind you go Won't you let my darling know? Dandelion, into the wind you go Won't you let my darling know that?"

She was impressed how you held the high note of this part, by at this point not surprised anymore. She could hear you sing for hours and never get bored.

A little part of herself thought you might be singing to her. Maybe it was just her being delusional. After all, she was far from being the most interesting person you knew, so why would you have any kind of romantic feelings for her?

"I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine..."

The music started to fade out as the song was finished, but you continued singing anyways, improvising a last part that couldn't be anything else than you confessing to her.

For the first time since you started singing, you looked directly into her blue eyes.

"'Cause I'm sick and tired of dandelions Wishing on every one is a waste of time, time

I got all our moments memorized I'm gonna say it now, you make me smile, smile

Giving up dandelions wasting my time Thankful to God I have you in my life Giving up dandelions wasting my time, wasting my time..."

Her eyes widened slightly as she realized this wasn't part of the original song. You improvised that part. For her.

How many times did you say all those things to her? Enough for her to understand what you were doing. She never paid too much attention to it before, thinking it was just you being hyper affectionate, but in a 'friends' way.

All your moments together flashed before her eyes. All the times you told her you were thankful to have her by your side. All the times you remembered little things she told you, little habits she had, little things that happened when you spent time together that even she didn't think about at first.

That day at the lake when you couldn't stop smiling looking at her. She thought she looked ridiculous trying to go in the cold water while you were already swimming, and that it was the reason why you smiled, holding in your laughter.

Now that she thought of it, you always had a smile on your face when you were together. A beautiful smile she loved so much and hoped would never fade away.

The way you looked at her right now was different than before, as if you stopped hiding what you truly felt. You had that look you had in her daydreams, in her fantasies.

Except this time, it was real. You were really in front of her, giving her heart eyes.

She imagined that scene thousands of times, and yet she didn't know how to react. But she had to do something, or you would get the wrong signals!

Her body moved faster than her brain.

She found herself kissing you without even realizing it before you kissed her back, a wave of relief washing over both of you.

Your hands were behind her neck, while hers found their place on your waist, never breaking the kiss. You both had waited so long for that moment to happen; you weren't going to let it end so soon.

But you had to pull away, eventually.

"So... whishing on dandelions worked?" you asked playfully

"Yes" Emma whispered before kissing you again "I'm yours. All yours"

[stayandot8]

For Your Eyes Only

Genre: fluff

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: Hiiiiiiiii I'm back! I've been so stuck with real life things that I haven't really been writing anything but my series and then I saw this in my ideas an it kinda just all hit me at once so I just wrote it down and now it's yours. I hope you haven't missed me too much ;) Hopefully part 3 of JOY will be done soon and I can give it to you, I'm dying to get it done and post it so you can see where I want to take it. But anyways, here's this one. I hope you like it. ♥

WC: 1.2k

masterlist

“No, everything’s fine. It’s fine.” He would start with himself every few minutes, repeating those same words over and over until he would fall silent again. The screen on my phone had long since blackened out, lucky for my boyfriend that my phone had been charging all night for exactly this occasion. He was always working while he was away, the occasional clicking of his keyboard the only sign of life on the other side of the static. He never took a break, never sat still long enough unless he was required to.

“Chris, didn’t you just get off stage?” My voice was groggy, being the middle of the night in my time zone starting to weigh on my eyelids more and more the longer we talked. The silk of my own sheets had grown foreign, unfamiliar compared to the worn, cotton sheets of Chan’s bed. I practically lived over there now, half his dresser drawers had my things in them. His shared bathroom had four drawers next to the sink, which now held Chan’s hairbrush and my collection of face masks that he liked to do with me. My toothbrush was kept in a travel case tucked in with a small hairbrush of my own, kept safely away from Chan’s serums and vitamins he needed to keep himself healthy. 

“You know the only reason I ever slow down is because you force me to. I don’t feel like I can  unless I’m being told to by a very pretty girl who threatens to sit on me unless I step away from my computer. Not that I would mind that…” His voice trails off, his lingering suggestiveness sending shivers straight down my back. 

“Well, unfortunately I’m not there to threaten you to sleep. I’m stuck behind this device that lets me talk to you when you’re so far from me.” I tucked my blanket even further under my chin, itching for the comfort of his warmth while settling for the empty space. 

“Yes, how dare you be so far from me.” Hearing his smile through his words was the only way I knew he was okay. With all his work piling up all the time, it was the little things I had to look for as signals. 

“Why are you working right now if you just got off stage though, baby? Come lay down with me.” 

“What were you saying before? Why were you saying everything’s fine?”

“What do you mean?”

“Before, you kept saying everything’s fine, that it was okay.”

“Oh, did I? I didn’t even notice. Don’t worry about it, it’s…”

“FIne?”

A pause. “Yeah.” He sighed, deflating. 

“Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“Talk to me?” A longer pause.

“I just don’t want to dump it all on you. It’s my weight to carry, not yours.”

“You might think that but that’s not how I feel. That’s what a partnership is. Your bullshit is my bullshit, so to speak. And my bullshit is your bullshit. Do you feel like I’m dumping on you when I tell you what’s happening at work?”

“No, not at all. I love when you tell me that stuff.”

“Exactly. So lay it all on me. Let me carry some of your bullshit. Or else you’ll be crushed by the weight of it. Please? I want to hear it. It helps me feel close to you when I can’t be right there with you all the time. I want it all, I want the good stuff and the bad stuff. Show me everything. Every bad thought, everything you couldn’t and can’t show anyone else. That’s what I'm here for.”

This silence was different, like he was collecting his thoughts to finally let them tumble out. 

“It’s just hard, ya know? Sometimes it feels like it’s all on me. Like our success depends just on me. And I know it doesn’t, but sometimes it feels like that.” And on and on he went, telling me about the depth of the weight on his shoulders, how his relationships have been suffering because of it. His parents always tell him how proud they are, but it never quite feels the same. 

“I miss them, so much it hurts me when they call. But I barely have time to talk because of the amount of work piling up. The public decisions that need to be made, the tracks that still need to be done, things it feels like only I can do so it’s only on me.”

“You haven’t told any of them this, have you.” It wasn’t a question, really. I knew he wouldn’t because-

“No, I don’t want them to have to worry about this stuff.” There it is.

“Baby, you can’t keep all of this to yourself though. They’re grown adults, they can handle it. You have to trust them enough to know that. They’ve asked, haven’t they? I know they have. Let them carry some of the load. It may have started as your group, you may have put it together but it’s all of yours now. It’s time to share the responsibility, Chris. It’s okay. You’re allowed to lighten your load, even if it’s bit by bit.” 

He took a deep inhale and let it out. “If I could fly, I’d be coming right back home to you.”

“It’s where you belong.”

“You’re like the other half of me that got taken and then just put into another person. I'm only at this comfort level with you." I heard the sheets rustle as he finally laid down. I smiled at that thought.

“I’m missing half of me when we’re apart.” 

“And it makes me sad, my love.”

“Just get through this next month and then we’ll take a week off and go anywhere you want, just the two of us.” It was a nice idea, knowing he would agree then it wouldn’t happen because he would get bored and start working again anyways. But I could dream.

“Yeah, I’d like to explore around here some more if I could. Take pictures of everything I would want to show you and send them to you. You’d love it here.”

“Where are you guys again?”

“Jakarta.”

‘Well, if you do get a day off there, find something you can bring home. Add it to my ever-growing collection.” I glanced over at my own dresser, filled with trinkets of things he would bring back for me from every place he went for work. Little figurines, patches of beautiful cloth, necklaces and chains with pendants attached all scattered the top. I had made a new open spot for whatever he would bring me this time, not knowing how big or long of a space it would need. 

“I’ve already got it for you. I think you’re really going to love it.” His voice was getting deeper now, his words becoming slower as they reached my ears. 

“Oh yeah? Are you going to tell me anything else or do I have to guess?”

“I’m not telling you anything, you’re just going to have to be patient.” The smirk was palpable through the speaker of my phone. I shook my head as much as I could with my cheek flat against my pillow. 

“You’re so rude.”

“I miss you too.”

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY MERRILL  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age ii

hello! i'll be your distraction! you can't hit me!

oh dear, get ready for more trouble.

have i ever mentioned i like your coat?

can i get you something to eat or drink? i have... water.

i fell off the pier once. the harbor is really deep.

do you think we could go swimming later?

someone spilled ale in here.

you really believe that, don't you?

everything i did, i did for them!

be careful what you believe in.

i hardly think you're one to criticize.

i'll find something relatively clean for you to sit on.

everyone is staring at me.

did i ask you?

we have our own stories. i don't need to borrow yours.

things are about to get exciting.

what right do you have to question us?

why doesn't anyone ever want to be nice to us?

we're about to be attacked!

it's not surprising at all that anybody would love you.

i was always... a bit secluded.

if you never made mistakes, it wouldn't matter if you believed.

i'm sorry, i can't do anymore.

it's awfully noisy in here.

why does it always smell like cabbage here?

is that your house?

why are you smiling?

why don't you arrest us?

if i had any other choices, i'd take them.

stop it. you're scaring me.

ugh, this tastes terrible.

go on, i'll catch up!

ooh, ooh, it's something dirty, isn't it? tell me, tell me!

someone's laying traps.

are you jealous?

you look uncomfortable.

oh, that's good too, but i was hoping for something dirty.

you're very quiet today. is something wrong?

have i mentioned that i don't really like it here?

i think i stepped in something.

you could get another cat, you know.

i haven't exactly made many friends.

i came in and watered your plants.

how do i learn it, then?

it's not my fight.

you've spent too much time being grumpy. it's a nice change.

it's a pretty evening, don't you agree?

i think we'd better get ready to fight.

nobody seems to like you. do you get used to that?

i'm a little overwhelmed here!

the act of lovemaking is so... intimate.

are you all right?

why do you even like me? i must seem so dull.

i was so sick on our trip across the sea.

i'm not exactly sure why we keep coming here.

could somebody help me with this, please?

oh, i can't hit that! it's much too far!

you've had many lovers, haven't you?

i've got an idea! get over here!

you sort of swagger when you walk. i've been trying, but i trip over my own feet when i do it.

i wish i had your life.

what? did i miss something?

i'm not that foolish. our relationship is strictly platonic.

you brought this on yourself!

you know, i think they were really trying to kill us.

is everyone all right?

what have i done to you now?

you keep looking at them with sad puppy eyes every time their back is turned.

i'd like to hear them sometime, if you don't mind.

i think it's over. do you think it's over?

i really think we need a new plan?

could we perhaps do battle with a pack of pretty flowers or soft bunnies next time?

if you don't believe in me either, i won't mind.

that didn't go quite like i thought it would.

i've got so many bruises now, they've got names and families.

you're very kind. thank you.

even you can be happy once in a while. it won't kill you, but your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.

you're in love!

this is going very badly!

just wondering why you're so cross all the time.

did i say something wrong again?

i'm the stupid one? whatever.

that can't be true.

do you regret it?

i think he's broken the thing he wanted to save.

would you truly turn your back on your own history?

do you like crowded cities better?

there are many things i wish i could undo.

and you're so cute when you're with him.

it could fall on someone, but you'd have to push it really hard. it's quite heavy.

we're not all like him.

don't you care about the plight of our people? not even a little bit?

you'll protect them, though. it's what you do.

maybe i'll borrow yours sometime, if that's all right.

everything affects everything.

it's impossible to talk to you.

simple is good. it sneaks up on you, makes you smile.

it feels like something is ending, doesn't it?

i've lived there for years. i see it firsthand.

it's just a precaution. nothing will go wrong.

did i miss something dirty?

did you step on something sharp?

how did you learn swording?

i said something wrong again, didn't i? maybe i'll just stop talking.

are you talking to me?

[batgirlsay]

Bodyguard Tempting Fate

Obiyuki Trope Madness 2024 Playlist for Bodyguard Crush

Another early Obi playlist using the most broadly themed trope, so I could include some songs I’ve been wanting to use for a while! Most songs have some common themes from previous playlists (arrows, snow, green vs. gold) but I had a difficult time naming this playlist before noticing the lyric “troublemaker tempting fate” from the Nada Surf song.

Bodyguard Tempting Fate

An Arrow in the Wall- Death Cab for Cutie Acrid- The Beths Troublemaker- Nada Surf Bite The Hand- boygenius Whose Authority- Nada Surf The State of Gold, Pt. 1- Matt Pond PA Bring You Down- The Dear Hunter Green Eyes, Red Face- Lucy Dacus Copper Mine- Matt Pond PA

Summary lyrics are cited after the cut:

An Arrow in the Wall- Death Cab for Cutie

My heart runs on gasoline vapors The thousand drums waking up the neighbors But I can feel the fissures in the freeways The rusted steel, deception in the handshakes

An arrow in the wall Take it as a warning That you are gonna fall Even if you're soaring

There's more than one way to get your freedom

Acrid- The Beths

Acrid, the smell of burning rubber is a daily feature When I throw myself into reverse Check out of my surroundings Backing up so blindly, my back to the universe

Like a ship out of commission Like an arrow always missing

I'm trying to lie like a pro And I know it looks easy from the outside But it's hard to hold your brow just so

Like a record slowly twisting Like an arrow always missing I'm always whistling by But it's you I want to run into Tragic, the messages I send my mind post-midnight Are showing seen but no reply So I mash the keys a million times for a million years And maybe by chance I'll say it right Closing in on your middle distance Filling quivers with ammunition But I'm always missing you

I want to run into you Like a light burning bright in your hard heart I won't make a sound when I go dark Can you see me through

Troublemaker- Nada Surf

Why do I feel bad again? I shouldn't be sad or miss a grin Doubt creeps in and doubt creeps out Skews the view from my cloud

Troublemaker tempting fate Questioning the path I take Showing me the twists and turns The forks and points of no return

Every day I choose to spend the rest of my life with her And every day I break the molds of lives and worlds I already miss the things that I will never know I will never know the things that I've already missed

Bite The Hand- boygenius

I can't hear you, you're too far away I can't see you, the light is in my face I can't touch you, I wouldn't if I could

Here's the best part distilled for you But you want what I can't give to you Your hands are gravity while my hands are tied I can't love you how you want me to

Whose Authority- Nada Surf

I walk like you guide me, my eyes Are shut like I'm blind Turn to you and listening and tryin' To be in your mind

Surprised in translation World without end

How do you stay where You most want to be? Where'd you get the patience Did it come easily?

On whose authority I have none over me 

The State of Gold, Pt. 1- Matt Pond PA

I might have a drink to be myself I hope nobody notices tonight what it takes to be real To truly keep this lamppost standing

I don’t care if anyone carries me I don’t care if anyone drops me Cause I know how to be alone At least I’ve learned how to be alone

We might have to fight to get out That’s the way I picture almost every night below stars Below the crown of heaven

All I care about is your sentences And all the secrets you left down in them There’s so much we’ll never know All the vastness in the word hello

There's more than one way to live There's more than one way to love There's more than one way to give I won't stop climbing to the state of gold

In the ether above our reach is the state of gold worth believing in

Bring You Down- The Dear Hunter

You took me by surprise A stranger through my eager eyes

I tried so hard to hide The cynic in me far from sight But moments still arise when My flaws get the best of me

So don't let me bring you down No, don't let me bring you down

Green Eyes, Red Face- Lucy Dacus

Slow dancing At low tide Drawn to move By the moon

And I see the seat next to yours is unoccupied And I was wondering if you'd let me come and sit by your side And I got plenty of affection I'll be glad to show you some time

What am I supposed to do With you in the room? What am I supposed to say With your green eyes on my red face?

Copper Mine- Matt Pond PA

When it snows from above the towers The ground stays still - it can't get away Clothe the roofs hour after hour

With this ease ignore the obvious Heard the cold lost all its power If we go let's go away

[stormblessed95]

I am a hyper rational, analytical person and because I'm super analytical I've also always had an innate ability to read people...I know everyone says that but I genuinely can. It's actually a running joke within my friend circle.

That said I want to just explain my journey into BTS and into this side of the fandom...So

I became a BTS fan right when Serendipity dropped. I was first obsessed with Jimin's beauty, voice, dancing, and then I fell in love with the group. I binged watched everything within a few weeks time and I distinctly remember the moment I went "hmm" regarding JM's and JKs interactions. I was watching AHL and there was something about JK's interactions in particular with JM that just tickled my spidery senses. It was his eyes...I can't describe it...it was just in his eyes whenever he looked t JM that made me go "hmm." From the Hanbok scene to the car scenes (when they cleaned airplanes). He also always followed so closely behind him. However, he was incredibly young during AHL, and I didn't know much about them still so I didn't really think too much about it.

However, the more I watched that "hmm" became stronger. There were two of JM & JK's video logs that increased my suspicion and again it came down to JK's eyes. There was one where JM was adjusting his hat and swiped his hand through his hair and JK just froze and then averted his eyes. It was super quick and subtle and I've literally never heard anyone in the fandom bring it up, but it caught my eye as my second "hmmm" moment. That said the more in the fandom I got the more I learned or was led to believe that, that was just JK. He was attentive to all members that way. However, no matter how hard I tried to see what everyone else was saying I didn't see it. Yes, Jk is a starer but I'm a starer and the way I stare at someone I like versus someone I'm supporting is completely different. But I still passively accepted the narrative.

The sort of straw that broke the camels back for me, at least regarding JK being at the very least physically attracted to JM was DNA comeback stage and Countdown. During Comeback stage "No Silver Spoon" performance JM lifts up his shirt to reveal his abs and JK whips his head around to see it...now as an analytical person I wanted to see if this was part of the routine and while it wasn't necessarily standard there were a few previous occasions in which JK did the "same" thing...the only difference this time was that JK almost missed his mark and kind of got lost in staring. That was a pretty big "HMM" for me but not as big as the countdown video where each member was asked what their favorite album song was. During this entire live, JK was zoned out...looked bored or tired. He stood far away from the camera. However, when JM was asked the question JK was fully attentive, even tried to move closer, and when JM sang a part of Serendipity "Geunyang geunyang" JK look like he melted...and he rubbed the back of his neck (nervously) and was so lost in staring at JM that it appeared that Suga had to bring him back to reality. To many that would have been very minor but it literally cemented my initial thoughts that JK was genuinely attracted to JM.

After that I watched every Vlive, interview, Bon Voyage, Run BTS, Bangtan BOMB etc. and

BV S1: "I want to share a bed with JM" comments from JK...in one of the episodes (behind the scenes) the members are standing on an escalator and JK spots a poster of what appears to be couple back hugging each other and JK blurts out something along the lines of "I wish I could be that way with my friend." The members (JM wasn't there) all start teasing him saying I'm your friend you can do that with me and JK shrugs them off and walks away quickly embarrassed....now that doesn't mean he was talking about JM it just made me go...hmmm

BV S2: footsies, bashful looks at each other...it was this season that actually cemented my belief that the attraction was mutual.

JKs Graduation car video when he started singing to JM that song about you were there when I first took off my uniform and JM got flustered and changed the subject.

The degree to which younger JK teased JM but then said " I only do it because I like you too much" and JM's facial expression fell (doesn't in itself prove anything but together it shows a bigger picture), he also was very specific about why he would date someone like JM--mentioning his beautiful eyes

The way JK would always find a way to bring JM's name into the convo: There was a RUN episode they went bungee jumping and the camera man asked JK what was the most exciting part of the day and JK said "trying to make JM say stop" or something like that. He had just done a thrilling activity that he loved but he chose that!?!?

The list goes on and on...

I was fairly convinced they were romantically involved within less then a month of finding out about BTS. This was without me ever watching a single fan made video. All original content. I didn't know what shipping was at the time either.

I went from 80% certain they were more than friends to like 99.9999% certain when I woke up to GCF Tokyo....I couldn't have been more certain after that. It was that video that made me lookup and see if anyone else was certain that they were a couple and I found this fandom and also learned about haters and the mass amount of people that get upset if you even think they are together. I genuinely didn't think it would be contested with how overtly romantic GCF Tokyo was but to my surprise it was more than rejected.

The level of denial actually made me very upset...because I didn't see how one could come to any other conclusion. People saying it was fan service...I researched what that meant and was even more shocked that fans could think GCFT was fan service.

I even looked into other "plausible" ships and I didn't get the same INTENSE sense that I got almost day one from Jikook. Like I saw chemistry in other ships and I wouldn't call their interactions fan service but I didn't feel romance or actual attraction. The same way I view JM in VM is how I view 99% of of other ships...super close friends tht have buttery eyes for each other but like buttery friendship eyes LOL.

I keep harping on the eyes because every emotion can be seen and read in someone's eyes...and JK has the most expressive face I've ever seen. That boy cannot hide a single emotion. His looks of admiration, anxiety, impress, love, attraction...you cn see it all. JM while still not too difficult to read...he's nowhere near as facially expressive and vulnerable as JK.

I don't just look at jikooks actions I look at everything and how they interact with each other is so different then how they interact with other members. They could do the same thing with another member and it feels and looks different then when tehy do it with each other. Their romantic chemistry is palpable.

Well sorry for the loooong behind rant. I am a lurker and no one really knows that I exist in this space...these are just thoughts I've held onto for a while and just wanted to release them. Also, if I have errors...apologies I wrote this all from memory...my memory of 2017.

Thank you for sharing your story! I really enjoyed it! Everyone make sure you are streaming Vibe too!!

[eqt-95]

20 Questions More

A deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks @fabulousglitch for the tag!!

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

The blorbos won't leave me alone.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

There are too many to count. I was introduced to Supergirl through fanfic and the canon I know to be true has been built on the backs of hundreds of contributors. It wouldn't do anyone justice if I started a list because 1. it would become a monolith of names and 2. I would definitely miss one(s). If you're in this fandom, you've likely inspired me, and that counts both for written, gif-ed, and drawn works.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

Alex, but I don't always get it right.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

There is a lot I probably wouldn't do, but I also for sure never expected to write an F1 au, so...

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

I can either sit down and crush 1-3k words or sit down and tweak the same seven sentences for two hours. There is rarely an in between.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

Editing. Oh boy do I LOVE editing. Those opportunities for finessing and fine-tuning and tweaking are *mwah*

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

This isn't weird but is more recent: I did a deep dive into star constellations for a throwaway line in 'new kind of romance'

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

This is a nonanswer, but I would love to expand my vocabulary. The thesaurus is my writing buddy, but there are very real moments where I pout and scowl and glare at the ceiling because I can't think of the word that I'm feeling.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

Any sort of conflict/confession/confrontation is always really hard for me, but they're also maybe my favorite things to write. I want the characters to hash things out and be honest and vulnerable, and I think tackling big emotions is a delicate balance. I never want to sound too forceful, but I don't want to leave things unsaid, but I don't want anyone to do anything out of character, but i don't want to yadda yadda...

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

see: 'crisis of indulgence'

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Lena; I think she'd be a lot of fun to debate/argue with (respectfully).

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

(so far) always a happy ending. the readers and these characters deserve it.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Living experiences (which takes time!). I don't think I could write heartbreak without having experienced that guttural feeling of loss in the same way I don't think I could write about failure or anger or insecurity or love or laughter. I think reading and the act of writing every day are incredibly resourceful, but the act of my lived experiences and those feelings is something I draw from in everything I write.

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

I edit as I go which doesn't work for everyone; however, a super fun thing I've picked up in recent works is this: when going to do a final edit of a <insert: chapter, one-shot, etc>, I read the last few paragraphs first. That sets me up to know exactly what the chapter is aiming for: feelings, motivations, plot, etc. I then use that as the anchor for how I tweak/edit/add small details to the rest of the chapter during my final read-through. I find it helps flesh out the larger story with smaller details.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

none of the above really since nothing about posting is carved in stone. tags and summaries can always be tweaked.

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

If it's finished. Bonus points if people get something out of it, but the act of having written something feels like the biggest success.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

Not really. I have go-to soundtracks for 'writing vibes' but nothing project/ship dedicated. (though 'like we're made of glass' was definitely inspired by very specific songs)

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

Again there are too many jaw-droppingly talented artists in this fandom to choose just one. It would of course be a wild crazy honor to see a work inspired by one of my fics, but there's already so much in this fandom to be inspired by that it doesn't feel like a loss.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

*sighs* for supercorp? there are a few (five). but the one that has most of my creative down time is a supercorp wicked au i have wanted to write for years but only have the faintest wisps of an outline for.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

Do it, do it, do it!

But also, one of my favorite pieces of advice for ANY creative venture is from Marc Dalessio who made this super cool 'creative process' graph in 2010 and included this line to summarize it: The ability to see improves before technical skill, and we often have difficulty assessing honestly exactly how our work looks.

It helps during those ruts when I look at everything I've recently written/drawn/created and scrunch up my nose in snobbish disgust because it just means I'm growing in some new way and not that anything I'm doing is inherently bad.

- - - - -

tagging (respectfully and without pressure) @sideguitars @fazedlight @inkedroplets if you want some rapid-fire q's thrown your way. but also anyone who wants to take a swing, i'd be jazzed to read the different answers

[strangefable]

oc tag game

thank you for tagging me, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @marivenah, @clonesupport, & @voidika <3 <3 <3

passing no-pressure tags onto: @confidentandgood, @v0idbuggy, @adelaidedrubman, @florbelles, @unholymilf, @henbased, @direwombat, @trench-rot, @detectivelokis, @ivymarquis, @schoute, @dumbassdep, @legally-a-bastard, @wrathfulrook, @incognito-insomniac, @roofgeese, @theelderhazelnut, @poisonedtruth, @fourlittleseedlings, @inafieldofdaisies, @cassietrn, @vampireninjabunnies-blog, @harmonyowl, @redreart, @jacobseed, @euryalex, @mars-colony, @glass-hope, @gayafsatan, @the-lastcall, @shegetsburned, @g0dspeeed, @eclecticwildflowers, @aceghosts, @megraen, @strafethesesinners, @derelictheretic, @sukoshimikan, @inquisitors-grave, and anyone i've missed or forgotten, i'm tagging you too <3

(also forgive me but i'm not making banners for ocs i hardly ever talk about any more, so this post is gonna be mostly text. if you want images of anyone i can share, but i just don't have energy to make new banners and i still want to actually post this so, please forgive me <3)

favorite oc

she's my baby girl right now. she's got the most space in my head, at all times i am thinking of her. she owns me and i'm not sorry. this is micah's world, i'm just here to serve her, and i would not have it any other way

honorable mentions: niamh gannon & beauregard barrett

they've been with me the longest and once had the strongest hold on me for more than a decade. they're two very formative characters for me and i will always have tiny palaces in my heart for both of them

oldest oc

niamh gannon

as far as fandom ocs that i've written and shared anywhere online, ni is the first baby girl. i started writing her when she was just a wee 11 year old student all the way through to her adult life as a wife, mother, and badass. she's the most developed oc i have, because i spent decades writing her. (she's also a bit of a precursor to what lore eventually became)

newest oc

i've got a few newer concepts circling, but as far as ocs that fully exist, lil is still the newbie on the team. she's a fun way to stretch and do some things i've never dared try before. fiery little pistol and demon who is out to create chaos in an act of revenge against a world that's wronged her

meanest oc

this is a hard one! i have several evil ocs, but they're not necessarily mean in any traditional sense. they play politics too well for that, though they can be underhanded and they'll fuck you up. of the ones i talk about here, it's probably either lilith or bowie, but neither of them are mean, exactly. lilith just wants to lash out and hurt everyone, and bowie is just blunt and crass. of my older ocs, there's fletch, who's a dumbfuck gay werewolf with a chip on his shoulder and no filters. and daphne, who's the evilest monster you'll ever meet: she wants to cut you open and splay your insides while you're still alive, but she'll talk so sweetly to your face. there's leona and lysandra, who are daddy's girls and spoiled brats. there's lux, who wants to look like a bad boy and live up to his evil father's legacy, but mostly he's just an asshole. and his father, chrys, who is evil. he trains monstrous dogs that are built to attack people. also he's a ruthless murderer but he's a suave and smooth politician, so you'll never catch him. also there's rand, my evil alpha werewolf man. then there's alfie, an absolute shithead of a bully and a punk, but he's really just a sad lonely idiot. there's torvald and romeo, my supercreeps. elena my snarky little shit who lashes out and hates everyone.

yeah, this is too hard, i have several meanies.

softest oc

none of the ocs i talk about here are soft in the least. but i have some old ones who are total cinnamon rolls. dierdre delaney is a soft sweetheart of a seer. there's bethy baby, bethany, who is a shy tiny pixie girl who is full of love and sunshine. liam who is a soft gentle romantic soul. naveen who is a sweet little nerd. rune, my soft gentle werewolf boy. olwen, who is gentle like a fairy. sienna my sweet little miracle baby. kaz the softest cuddliest kindest doctor you'll ever meet. teddy, the most cinnamon roll to ever cinnamon roll. ajlgdjlg agh i can't any more, the soft ones make my heart and teeth ache and i'm missing them so much now

most aloof/standoffish oc

i'm gonna give this one to micah, though some of my older kids could probably show her up on it. she's the one of my current stable that has the most trouble interacting with people.

smartest oc

nora by a landslide. she's a certified genius and a savant. the woman knows all.

dumbest (affectionate) oc

oh boy let me tell you, i love making himbos. fletch is one of them, what an idiot. there's rory who's a hardheaded dick. there's junior, declan, and nate, who are the pinnacle of himboness. there's cosmo, my silly class clown boy. there's virgil the clueless. there's pillip, who's theme song is literally 'stupid boy'. and then there's emmy, my flighty fashion icon

oc i'd be friends with irl

giving this one to the jameson sisters. they're the kind of friends anyone would want, imo. (there's a lot of my oldbies i'd put here, too, but this post is too long already)

if you bothered to read all that nonsense, i owe you a kiss or a cookie <3 thanks for listening to me ramble incoherently about ocs i never share any more lmao