#idk a song came on my playlist while I was reading and now I feel really upset about something stupid

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I don't know how to write this without it being horribly obvious who I'm writing about

[neteyamyawne]

human miles quaritch where you're a scientist bit you're both in love? miles accidentally shoots you while aiming for the helicopter and after feels regret but when he finally gets to see you in the final fight, you end up passing out. happy ending? i haven't read your rules yet so if this goes past it I'm so sorry 🫶

A/n : This does NOT have a happy ending, it's all angst, okay? I will make a part two of this, which will have a happy ending, i promise. Please read my rules before requesting 💚

Traitor ✦♡

Pairing : Quaritch x fem!reader

Summary : request

Song : avatar 1 playlist

Parts : pt1 pt2

Plunge 🗡️

❈ Warning : a lot of angst, threatening, killing, passing out, war, mention of a loved one dying, description of being shot in the head (mild), cursing, a little toxic but sweet? Hurt no comfort, sad ending, established relationship lmk if more.

❈ Word count : 7.8k not proof read

❈ Note : idk what got into me writing this, there's a little surprise in the end 🤭

"word" - dialogue **word** - flashbacks

❈ Glossary : tsawke - sun (child name), ma'evi - my child, zize - hellfire wasp (pa'li name) lmk if more.

You stared through the microscope, noting down everything you could as fast as you can, writing the last sentence you leaned back and stretched your body in your chair, groaning as a few pops were heard from your back, the sound of it a bit too loud in the empty lab, the only light seen was on your desk and the hallway, you glanced at the digital clock on the wall, your eyes widened as you stared at it 4:23 am, "dammit" you huffed, swiveling around in your chair, getting up, your stomach rumbling for food, when was the last time you had a meal? And ofcourse you had to miss dinner as well, you looked around your desk to see if any snacks were left, with nothing found you searched Grace's desk next, opening a drawer you knew she kept her chewy granola bars but the only thing you got in return was a sticky note at the bottom with a "i told you not to take my bars! - G.A" written on it, you sighed, you had to be hungry at the oddest hours! but no cafeteria in this sector opened until it was 8am in the morning, so you were only left with one choice.

Making your way silently to the military sector as all the soldiers wake up way before anyone, so their cafeterias opened earlier as well, the only thing left now was to go in ask or beg the cooks for something and come back just as silently. Tip toeing your way inside the cafeteria hallway, sneaking inside, thankfully there was no one present in the room, walking over to the counter you knocked on the glass showcases, a round faced stout woman peeked from behind the kitchen doors, her eyes widened clearly not expecting a scientist at these hours, she made her way to the counter, her sweet motherly accent calming you down as she asked "what do you want, dear?" You looked at her sheepishly, face burning in embarrassment " umm, maybe do you have any extra leftover breakfast? I'm sorry i stayed up all night, with no food whatsoever, i didn't had breakfast either, so i was hoping i get some here, you know they don't open so early- now I'm just rambling, I'm sorry-" but her chuckle cut you off, she leaned over to pat your cheek "it's okay my dear, sit down on one of the tables, I'll bring you something to eat, these brutes eats too much already" you laughed at that, saying your thanks you sat down the table nearest to the counter.

She came back with a big plate full of eggs, sausages, pancakes and what not, you were baffled, they barely had any fresh fruit back at your sector and this is what the military sector is getting? Damn you Parker, your thought traveled wild as you gobbled down the breakfast, you were so engrossed in eating that you didn't see Quaritch coming in, taking another bite as your mouth was already stuffed with the previous one, you jumped in surprise when he sat down next to you without a warning "Miles, you idiot, god you scared me" letting out a sigh , putting down your fork, he just laughed "i thought you nerdies never came in our area" you glared at him, picking up the glass of juice the sweet chef gave you, gulping it down "how many times have i told you? Don't call us that!" He slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close, you rolled your eyes at him "don't you science guys hate us too much to be here?" You got up, taking the leftover pancake with you, not giving him an answer back, by the time you got to the door, he was catching up your side, putting the last piece of the pancake in your mouth and swallowing it but before you could see what was happening, quaritch back you up, caging you again the metal wall, capturing your lips with his, all your struggles falling away, melting in his arms, pulling back for air "come down here too sometimes sweetheart, i don't bite you know" he nuzzled his face in your neck, you look down the corridor, to see if anyone saw what just happened, relieved you looked at him in the eye "i thought you wanted this to be a secret?" He threw his head back "I don't mind them watching now" you shook your head "ohh shut up you moron" a blush heating your face "you know, you look pretty when you blush, doll" you speed walked out of his arms, hiding your now red face from any onlookers, aiming straight for your quarters, his laugh ringing in your wake.

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It's been quite a while since this became a thing, you and him, no one knew though, except for grace, of course she knew, you didn't know how but she knew and didn't leave one chance to reprimand you about it, you tried to ignore her but she just wouldn't leave you alone about it, it's been weeks since the new recruit Jake Sully was being called by quaritch, it was getting on Grace's nerve you can see it as clear as daylight, she did not want any scientist meandering with the "knuckleheads" and you being entangled with miles while Jake running of to him every minute he got made it worse, , so you did what you had to.

"You can't ask me that, we're here for a mission!" He huffed out, you pinched the bridge of your nose "A mission for what miles‽ We are invading their home, not the other way around, and no more visits by Jake, this is it!" He looked taken aback, you were done discussing this, you knew if you didn't end this now, grace would take drastic measures "what do you mean?" He started nonchalantly, talking as if he didn't know anything "Don't play dumb on me, Quaritch, i know what your plan is, i know exactly what you told Jake, please just don't, this is not the way" you pleaded with him, making him understand the situation , he knew, you using his last name was serious but he stood his ground even taking a step forward, a hand clasping on your forearm, a stern look on his face, jaw clenched tight, a vein in his forehead pulsing, in a slow voice he drawled out "those blue monkeys out there are worth Nothing and the sooner you understand the better" he seethed, this time it were you who was taken by surprise, his unexpected anger making you take a step back in fear as he walked out of the room without glancing back at you.

The moment you got back to the lab, grace knew something was wrong, terribly wrong, your face told her everything she needed to know, within seconds she was by your side, you knew he was up to something, something that involved in harming the omaticaya, and Jake was helping him but to what extent you didn't know. Grace had enough though, immediately her plans on moving to site 26 were brought into action, Jake was surprised but he had no say in it, Grace was the incharge and her word was final. Soon enough you were shifted to the site, you were shaken up, the way he said it, you couldn't help but feel something bad was storming up.

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You sat by your desk head perched on your hand, staring down at the papers in front of you, Trudy was in a chair beside you snoring away with a bag of chips sliding down her torso, looking at the little clock on your desk, the hands denoting 6am but no sleep aided you, your mind flooded with possibilities of what could go wrong, sighing you got up making your way to the small counter to make some eggs for everyone, time ticked by and one by one everyone got up, Jake being late, he rushed to his link but you pulled him back by his chair, handing him the plate while he whined "c'mon y/n, I'm already late-" but you didn't let him speak any further as you punched the red button on his link panel, he groaned while you spoke "No breakfast, no avatar" he rolled his eyes scarfing down everything hurriedly like there was something exciting waiting for him.

You got into your avatar with grace after a while, it was good to be back with them, grace and you both loved to be with them, it's like you belonged more with them then your own species, you picked up tsawke, one of the clan children, he cuddled close to your neck, as you talked with everyone about the day. Your routine was interrupted when a commotion stirred in the common ground, walking over, you saw eytukan, mo'at and tsu'tey gathering in the center, the hushed whispers catching on, your face morphed into shock– the RDA has attacked the tree of souls– tsu'tey's yells notified nothing but a call for war then to your horror you saw Jake and neytiri walk inn, hand in hand, grace came to stand beside you, tsu'tey propelled forward, shoving Jake back, neytiri got in between hissing at him, holding him away from Jake but what tsu'tey said next left you speechless "you mated with this woman?!" You slapped a hand on your mouth as grace mumbled "ohh shit".

Mo'at walked forward "is this true?" Her voice stoic, but neytiri held her head high as she said "we have mated before eywa, it has been done" tsu'tey's face fell as he turned back, Jake argued "brother please, do not attack the sky people, many omaticaya will die-" but you did not listen till the end as tsu'tey drew his knife and pounced onto Jake "you are not my Brother!" You screamed holding tsawke closer, Jake stood up after deflecting his attacks "I'm not your enemy, your enemy is up there, I can talk to them-" tsu'tey had not mind to let him talk "no more talking!!" Cutting Jake on his arm, neytiri yelled at them to stop but none of them did. Jake kneed him in the stomach and punched him in the jaw, making tsu'tey fall on the ground, he got up wiping his jaw as Jake spoke "I am omaticaya, I have the right to speak, Lu aylì'u ngaru. Ayngaru nìwotx.(I have something to say, to all of you) the words are stones in my heart–" you looked at grace as she fell to the floor, putting down tsawke, you ran towards her, her name falling out of your mouth, you looked at Jake horrified as it clicked what was happening but before you could say anything, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your na'vi body thudded to the ground.

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You gasped as your link was broken abruptly, opening the case, quickly getting up as you saw quaritch punch Jake, grabbing his arm as you spun him around "are you out of your mind?! Miles, listen to me, you can't do this! Please" he grabbed your arm pulling you with him as he ordered the soldiers around him "wheel that meat out of here, close this up and move" you struggled against his grip but he didn't let you go, just as you got to the door, he glared at you "I told you, the sooner you understand the better, I don't want to hurt you, y/n but you chose not to listen me, I will not say this again, stay by my side, I'll keep you safe" he grabbed the oxygen masks, putting it on your face, but tears pricked your eyes, breaking the airlock, you walked out into the air of pandora.

Jake, grace and norm were escorted out, Trudy stood near her chopper with an unreadable expression while quaritch kept you behind him, you felt guilt rile up your veins seeing them being treated so differently than you were, settling on the rotor craft beside quaritch, he held you by your waist while his other hand clutched his gun, tears ran down your face, you knew something like this would happen, doubt gripped your heart, how could you fall for a man like him? How did you even let this happen? Questions swirling around your mind, sobs broke out of you but you didn't expect him to pull you close and kiss your hair "this is not your fault, doll, I know you love those tree huggers but they are not your allies, we are, and I need you to understand that" he mumbled against your hair, but nothing his said could comfort you, it only added to your anger still you stayed quite, the whole flight was silent, only your sniffs were heard, as brown flew you back to hell's gate.

You stood beside grace, playing with a bracelet nervously that the man in front you, who threatened you and your team, gifted it for your birthday, you all watched Jake destroying the bulldozer camera in the footage, quaritch paused the video tape just when Jake was about to hit the final blow to the equipment, "you let me down son" you cringed at that, quaritch walked towards your group as he leaned down to Jake "so what you- you find yourself a local tale and you just completely forget what team you're playing for?" Jake glared daggers at him, Grace rolled her eyes, talking to Parker in a demanding voice "Parker, there is still time to salvage this situation-" but miles turned to her yelling "shut your pie hole" but Grace didn't back down "or WHAT? Ranger Rick, you gonna shoot me?" "I can do that" you shoved him back "Miles!" Grace turned to you scowling "you need to muzzle your dog" you sighed and Parker shoved in between "yeah can we take this down a couple of notches please?" You walked towards quaritch pulling him back but Jake wasn't even trying to be on your side, by now you didn't even know who he was playing for or evening playing at all! "You say you wanna keep your people alive? You start by listening to her."

You took a deep breath inn before starting, staring at quaritch to make to make him realize just this once "those trees were sacred to the omaticaya people, in a way you can't imagine-" but Parker had a mind to cut off everyone who was speaking in his vicinity "uhh you know what? You throw a stick in the air around here and it's gonna land on some sacred- fern! For Christ sake" he was getting on your nerves, ticking you of like a time bomb "I'm not talking about some kind of pagan voodoo here, I'm talking about something real, something measurable in the biology of the forest" his face clearly showed he had no interest in what you were talking "which is what exactly?" He folded his arms, giving you a smirk, you took another breath to deal with his bullshit and to form words that we're understandable for him "what we think we know, is that there's some kind of electrochemical communication between the roots of the trees, like the synapses between the neurons, Each tree has 10 to the fourth connections to the trees around it and there are 10 to the twelfth trees on Pandora" you waved your hand down to show the enormity of the situation "which is a lot I'm guessing" Parker looked at you with zero understanding about what you just said, you stepped forward "it's more connections then the human brain, get it? It's a network, a global network and the Na'vi can access it" your voice was soft, desperately trying to make him understand, grace spoke up "they can upload and download data, memories at sites like the one you just destroyed!" He just looked at you and her with a dumbfounded expression "what the hell have you people been smoking out there?" He said laughing at your faces ``they're just goddamn trees!" Still laughing as if it was a joke "you need to wake up Parker" grace walked forward, "no you need to wake up-" she cut him off "the wealth of this world isn't in the ground, it's all around us! The Na'vi know that and they're fighting to defend it, if you want to share this world with them, you need to understand them" your head snapped back at quaritch when he spoke from beside you, tapping something on the glass tab "i think we understand them just finee thanks to Jake here" turning you head to look at Jake, he didn't meet your eyes looking away.

quaritch pulled you by your wrist towards the holographic table "hey doc, come take a look" the holographic image of Jake's log popping up, he explained how there was no way of bribing the omaticayans out, you looked at Jake with pure shock as his video explained his detail movements, quaritch still held you beside him making you watch it, grace squeezed Jake's shoulder as he hung his head down, miles pulled you behind him as he spoke "so, since a deal can't be made i guess things get real simple, Jake thanks, I'm getting all emotional i might give you a big wet kiss" he turned bringing you with him, you jogged beside him trying your best to keep up with him "miles please, this is wrong, you can't do this" you said trying to loosen his hold on your wrist "this is it y/n, look at me, we are here to take, not to make friends with those blue monkeys" you look up at him, tears stained your cheeks "we can't take what is not ours, miles" he pulled you in for a hug kissing your forehead "that's what we're here for, doll, to prove it wrong"

Parker sat in his chair playing with piece of unobtainium, quaritch by your side as he spoke "I'll do it with minimal casualties to the indigenous, I'll drive 'em out with gas first, it'll be humane, more or less" Parker leaned back in his chair, you grab quaritch's arm, shocked at what they were discussing, you gasped with Parker's next word "all right, let's pull the trigger"

A soldier was standing besides you while you stood near the large windows overlooking the warships getting ready to attack the home tree, you tried to stop them but none of them were ready to listen to you, quaritch gave the final order of you not linking with your avatar till he says so, a guard by your side till he comes back, now standing besides Parker, the guns and missiles making you sick to the stomach, grace, norm and Jake were taken back to the labs, but a commotion behind you whisked your attention, "Dr, Augustine, you cannot be up here-" she shoved him "Back off- Parker, wait stop, these are people you're about to-" the soldier grabbed her arm again but she wrenched her arm out of his grip "i said Back off!" You got in between them as you saw Jake rolling in, Parker just rolled his eyes at her "no no no no, those are fly bitten savages who live in a tree, Alright? Look around, I don't know about you but I can see a lot of trees, they can move!" Grace let out an exaggerated sigh "there are families in there, there are children, babies! Are you going to kill children?" Jake butted in "you don't want that kind of blood on your hands, believe me, let me try and talk them out, they trust me" you saw the inkling of a hope, to make their statements more strong you hopped in "please Parker, just let them try, just once, let Jake talk them out, please" he looked over at you and the others finally speaking after saying nothing for a while "fine but you are to stay here y/n, i don't need more trouble than i already have" you nodded, this was better than nothing.

You ushered Jake and grace back to the lab, yelling at others to get the links ready "calibrate the links fast, they are going in right now" you walked to Grace's panel with her, Parker and his goons trailing you "calibrating three and four" grace opened her link getting in she said "run sequence", you prepared her link from her panel "initiating, thirty seconds" you saw Parker going back to Jake's link as you heard him say "you've got one hour, unless you want your girlfriend in there when the ax comes down, evacuate them" with that he closed the link door, you walked over to Grace's side, closing the metal cover over her, you looked at her with pleading eyes "get them out please" she nodded and you closed her link as well, with that you stumbled beside her link on the chair, praying to any deity listening for everything to go as planned and letting the waiting game begin.

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Everyone watched on the monitor, the people had tied Jake and grace up, it was from the view of the dragon so you knew it was quaritch giving the orders, the first round of the tear gass was thrown in, they started open fire but the arrow did nothing but scratched the ship, you chewed on you nail, watching as the diplomacy had failed, there was no way out, just when you thought he'd fire another round of tear gas, incendiaries were blasted right into the root of the home tree, you clasped a hand on your mouth as the missiles exploded on it, the natives ran out, many must have died in an instant, though there was no sound you could see the hell he was raining down on them, Jake and Grace's avatars were still tied to the post, the ship turned around changing the view but staying there, getting into lines they fired again with even bigger missiles, the explosions bright as they hit the spiral columns, the rain of fire stopped as they waited and you saw with bated breath, the columns splintered breaking down, the tree leaning on on a side, falling down rapidly, every scientist beside you was in tears as a sob fell out from your lips as the tree thudded to the ground, it was done, the once tall mighty structure has fallen, humans got away with their ways yet again, you fell to the floor, knees giving out, shock ringing through your body and your mind going numb, norm picked you up but it was over, you had lost, again.

You were still standing with everyone as you watched the destruction on the screen, Parker twisted his head back at zdinarsk "pull the plug" you looked at him in horror as she walked towards the links, you ran to Jake's panel "you can't do this, it's dangerous, BACK OFF" they screamed at you to calm down but one of them shoved you away binding your wrists together as he slammed his hand onto the red button, you screamed at them to stop, norm punched one of them but it was of not use as he was held down my the other, Grace's link being cut of as well, tears streamed down your eyes as they opened Jake's pod, he was immovable, blank expression covering his face, zdinarsk held you back as you fought her grip, yelling at her to let go, both of them were taken out of the pods, Jake was hauled over one of their shoulders, grace struggled in their grips as she screamed at them "YOU MURDERERS!" You were now strapped to the railing near the main desk, pulling at the orange band as it wouldn't budge, you fell down to your knees, yelling at them to stop but it was done, as all four of you were held down on the floor, hands bound with guns pointed at your heads.

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You sat with Jake, grace and norm in the detention cell, even when quaritch tried to keep you out, Parker just wasn't having it, you looked up from where you buried your head in your knees "I'm sorry, guys, i-" but Jake was quick to stop you "no, it was my fault, not yours, you tried to help us but I couldn't convince them" You shook your head about to reply back but the sound of footsteps stopped you, looking out of the cell door when scratching of wheels were heard, Trudy walked in wheeling a cart in front of her, stopping in front of the guard, she laughed out "personally, I don't feel like these tree hugging traitors deserve steak" he got up, leaning down on the cart as he exclaimed "they get steak? That's bullshit, let me see" Trudy laughs and then puts her gun to the back of the Lock Up Trooper's head as he bent down, she orders him to the ground, slamming the gun on his vagus nerves, knocking him out cold, she called out to max and he ran in next, opening the door, "quick, quick we don't have much time" Trudy hugged you once before following the others.

Speed running towards the helipads and runways, you grab a mask on the way, getting to the airlocks, everyone wears their masks, opening the attachment door, we all run out, Jake stops behind and you skid to a halt as well "max, I need a man on the inside, I trust you for this" max nods ushering us to go as he runs inside, we bolt towards trudy's chopper, norm took down the coverings while trudy's ignited the engines, now we had less time than before, you helped norm to bring up Jake's chair, climbing up as you looked back at the base to see quaritch slamming a door open without a mask while he rained down bullets on you all, the rotor craft turned exposing you towards him, with his bullets firing down, you felt a pain in your abdomen, the impact making you fall onto the metal floor, a hand covering the wound, Jake and norm celebrated your escape while you looked down at your body "son of a bitch" you groaned, Jake's eyes snapped at your figure, he helped you up screaming at norm "get the trauma kit!" Grace pulled you up too, you yelped as the adrenaline from before wore off and the pain began to spread, norm and grace held you down as Jake worked on your wound, bandaging it as tightly as possible, till you landed safely near the site.

Trudy manuverd as quickly as she could through the fog and vortex towards site 26, getting to it, you were hauled inside the lab settling you on one of the link pods as a makeshift bed, while Jake got into his link, grace sat by your side, you felt the place tilt, letting everyone know that your were airborne now, she ran a hand through your hair, resting it on your cheek, her eyes shone with unshed tears, you smiled up at her "don't worry, grace, I'm not going down this easily" you both chuckled but your face twisted in pain as the slight pressure of your laughter made searing pain spike through the wound, sweat beaded your forehead and body, time went by, your body getting weaker and weaker, the blood seeping out of the bandages, she patched you up again, taking a syringe out of the kit, filling it up with a liquid you had no interest in knowing, puncturing the skin near your forearm, you let out a hiss wincing at the pain, she threw away the syringe, you gripped the side of the link below you as the whole of the lab swayed while it was being lowered to the ground, you were near the tree of souls now, the thud of it sounded a lot louder, you closed your eyes just resting them for a bit, getting as comfortable as you can with a bullet in your stomach.

Your mind hazed over, the blood loss was making your brain feel heavy and light at the same time, seconds bleed into minutes and minutes turned into hours, the night sky twinkled in the layer of stars, you smiled softly at the bioluminescent forest outside, ohh how you loved the feeling of the breeze blowing through your hair, your avatar body so in sync with the nature that it felt odd to be in your human body, grace was seated beside you as you stared outside. You closed your eyes, the exhaustion lulling you to sleep.

Jake walked to the lab in his avatar form, knocking on the window to get Grace's attention, she got up, grabbing her mask going outside in an instant as he told her everything he had in his plan, soon enough you were stripped of your clothes only the bandages holding on the wound were left, grace covered your body with the vines and Jake carried you all the while you were passed out cold, you began to wake up as you felt yourself being moved, the sight in front of you making you gasp but it came out as a soft inhale, Jake looked down at you smiling as he said "look where we are y/n" you breathed into your mask "i need to take some samples" Jake chuckled softly, bringing you to the base as he laid you down, neytiri fixing you legs as norm and grace fixed your avatar, your eyes fell closed as you felt the cool grass below you, sighing into the mask, you felt small fibers sticking onto your body, voices drowning out when you felt a cool sensation behind your neck.

You opened your eyes but a bright light made you close them back, looking around it was light and dark at the same time, you felt like you were flying and swimming at the same time too, it was quite and loud, but your attention was focused when a voice rang out "you are here before your time, my child" the sound not female nor male, you gasped in realization "Eywa" it came out less than a whisper, the light shining brighter, you watched in awe, no face or body was seen but the sound so angelic it almost hypnotized you, "yes, ma'evi, you have more to live, more to see, it is not your time to be with me, you have life within you to live for, i will call you back when the time is right, go back ma'tiyawn" each syllable was said and spaced perfectly, silver lined your eyes but something tugged you in the center of your torso, the tug came back from inside, before you could utter a word you were pulled back.

You gasped, opening your eyes for the second time, your vision clearer than before, you looked at Jake when he came in your line of sight, you voice light as feather "i saw her, Jake, i was with her, i was with eywa, jake" your eyes were blown, everyone circled you and grace pulled you in for a hug, tears of pure joy ran down your face, your return now celebrated throughout the crowd, you smiled at grace, neytiri sat by your side, you placed a palm on her cheek as she smiled back at you, how long has it been since you've seen her smile so bright, Jake got up going to tsu'tey as. He spoke and tsu'tey translated for him, the clan cheered as Jake got to the end of his speach, the sun rise anew, sunlight cascading down the trees, norm took Jake's place, pulling me in his arms he whispered "i thought we lost you" you smiled, patting his back, Jake glanced at you one more time before taking neytiri's hand and made his way to his toruk, you gasped in shock, when did he ride a toruk? But your question was unanswered as the clan moved to their own ikrans while you, mo'at, grace and norm sat near the tree, mo'at took of her shoulder wrap, around you and now you were suddenly aware of how naked you were, pulling the ends of the fabric around you, getting up but you stopped in your tracks as you saw your human body, walking up to is, as you stared at your human face, flicking back the hair from your face, finally letting go of your old self you turned around not looking back, you walked forward into your new life, a new beginning.

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Jake traveled through most of the forest clans, gathering them together to fight back against the humans, you sat with grace, twisting the knife in your hand, the knife that quaritch gave you to protect yourself, more like gave your human self but still gave it to you, the memory flooding back as you stared at the sharp blade-

** You got back from a collection trip but nearly dying from it at well, you didn't expect to run into the natives, they attacked your group, no arrows were shot but you were severely hit by them and taken to the hospital wing immediately with Max accompanying you as he was hit to but not that bad, you were admitted for quite a while and quaritch almost took out a march against the Na'vi to kill the ones who hurt you, weeks after that when you were in your quarters with him, he helped you sit up and you looked at him confused but he got up going to his jacket that was hung on the hook near your door, pulling out the knife out of its pocket, he walked back sitting down besides you, removing the cover from it, setting it aside, he brought the hilt of the blade to your palm, making you grip it tightly, he angled the tip of it to the base of his neck, and your eyes widened "miles what ar-" but he shushed you, talking as he gripped your hand tighter against his throat "plunge and twist" he breathed out, showing you how it's done with the actions over his skin, your hands shook but you listened intently, nodding as you understood "keep this knife with you, always, now you know how to use it too" you laughed at that but nodded, slipping back the cover on, he took the blade from your hand and slided it up your ankle, the elastic on the cover snug on your calf, he pats the blade before giving you a smile and tackling you down on your bed, smothering your neck with kisses and tickling your face with the slight scruff on his jaw as you squealed in laughter at that, pushing him off you but he put his whole body weight on you, trapping you beneath him before he broke hell loose on you as he tickled your sides till tears were falling down your face**

Eyeing then small knife in your hand, grace looked at you, she was in her human form, her avatar resting near the makeshift beds for the once who were injured, Jake was now with norm and Trudy talking to max about what quaritch's next step would be but even after all this something in your heart longed for him, you knew he'd kill any of your closed ones without a thought but he saved you in your darkest times, he brought you back up from your lowest points, he loved you when no one else saw your sorrows, how could you forget someone who did so much for so easily?

** You sat in your bed, looking at the pictures of your old life back on earth, how things have changed, a tear fell down on the picture of your brother who was killed on the way back to home on the bus, the gang ransacking your whole town, hijacked the bus, taking the kids hostages, your brother being killed as a warning for others to obey, they shot him multiple times in the head before throwing him out of the bus and driving away, the police found and brought him to you while in their chase to capture them but it didn't matter, your brother, your only family after your parents passing away was dead, he was just 9, after his death was when you took the decision to join the Pandora project you've been delaying to answer back, Dr. Grace Augustine requested your presence as her collaborator, but you said no because of your Little brother, if it weren't for you, he wouldn't have anyone to call his, so you stayed but after that, you took the opportunity, thinking maybe if the work took your time you wouldn't think of him but every second he plagued your mind, you muffled your cries but they only got louder, the knock on your door stilled you for a moment before quaritch entered, his face forming a frown at your state, he got in bed with you, picking you up with ease pulling you to his chest, settling you in his lap, whispering sweet nothings as you let your heart out to him, your brother and how you missed him, your parents, your guilt, everything and he listened to every word, kissing your forehead by the end of your rant, his shirt was soaked in your tears but he didn't say word, flattening your hair down, he kissed your temple, leaning both of you down on your bed, keeping all the photos aside, you snuggled into his chest, balling your fists with t-shirt holding on tight as you dozed on in his arms, he held you till your uneven breaths paced out, rubbing your back, he spoke no words except to sooth you, both of you drifted into a deep slumber with you safe in his arms**

Strapping the knife back on your calf, saying your byes to grace, you went back to call norm to teach you how to ride the pa'li, the war was in a few days and you wanted to pay your respect back for bringing you back to life, you won't go down without a fight anyways, he taught you better than that.

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

The day of the war came, you were with norm with the ground team, Jake, tsu'tey and neytiri lead the sky team, the plan was set, as soon as the enter the field the flux vortex would disable their radars and we had an advantage on that, whirring of the ships were heard, your group hiding till you hear Jake's orders, soon enough thumps of being something heavy being dropped were heard and Jake's voice filtered through our comms to attack as they were airborne too.

You were dressed and painted in the traditional warrior clothings, a bow strapped to your back, gun cradled in your arms as you raged forward with a yell, the humans in the amp suits open firing, you didn't hold back, galloping zize towards them you shot down the front line, their bullets piercing many of your soldiers but casualties and death will be counted later, you saw norm being knocked down from his pa'li, but he got back up, firing down with all his might, you saw a Na'vi firing his bow from the ground, giving him a hand, he got behind you, shooting down as many humans he could and so did you, but too many of your group were shot down, norm spoke into his speaker "Jake, we are being hammered, we have to retrieve" he immediately responded "fall back, keep a cloce cut" you turned your pa'li back but something exploded near your ground, surprising your mount as zize kicked back, falling out of line, the warrior behind you quickly hopped down retreting back, but zize field through the trees, bringing you closer to the eastern ground team, where the war raged even more, you reigned zize to stop as you looked over the field, the bodies scattered on the ground but your break was brought to an end when an amp suit firing at you, missing barely.

The bullets from the suit wheezing past you, your breaths laboured as you forced your direhorse to gallop as fast as he could, trying to outrun the machine but it caught up even faster, in the moment of outruning him you didn't see the amp suit that stood in front, he fired directly into zize, the hits on his body felt by you too, you sceamed as you were thrown off of him, the amp suits retrieving thinking you were dead as well but you crawled towards your pa'li, his head lying on the ground as he whimpered in his last moment, you kneeled beside him, stroking his head while you mumbled a quite prayer to eywa for his safe arrival at her doorsteps, you got quickly when you heard more loud footsteps, hiding behind a tree, peeking out your saw the new batch of amp suits that dropped down, very few Na'vi faught beside you, you heard neytiri speak as she was in a similar situation, Jake demanded to fall back, but you stopped listening halfway, you looked down at your gun, clicking it in place, holding it tight ready to fire , the group behind you firing down anything in sight, the humans with them burning down everything with the fire guns, you were about to step aside to shoot out when you heard neytiri yell into your comms "eywa has heard you, EYWA HAS HEARD YOU!" you fell back behind the tree, confused but it was cleared when you saw the hammerheads charging towards you, a scream erupted from your throat, arm coming up to sheild your face but none of them attacked you, they went straight for the enemies, you laughed at there demise, walking out of your hiding place, you got back on killing the remaining ones.

You stopped in a clearing, bodies littered the ground, your breaths uneven, you stumbled upon a body, reaching out as you grabbed a nearby tree, pressing onto your comms as you spoke "tsu'tey? Can you hear me? Trudy?" You puffed out a exhale, heart dropping second by second, no answers came back, too engrossed in your thoughts you didn't see the ikran landing right in front of you, your scream high pitched as you fell back, the beasts took a step forward bowing its head down, the beautiful colors of navy blue and yellow swirling together on its body with strips of black, you bowed your head down too, seemingly knowing what plans it had with you, you smiled as you took the opportunity.

You had no experience flying an ikran but here you were, flying above the war field, your bare feet slipped from the notches but you held on rightly the beast helping you stay on as well, you soared through the air, bringing down any ship you could, you circled around the area near the tree of souls, your eyes widened when you saw the dragon ship crashed into the soil, you decided to check on Jake near the lab, to see if everything was alright as no amount of you yelling into your speakers could get their attention.

Flying right towards site 26, you descended a little further away from the area, quickly dismounting your ikran, you made your way towards the place but stopped as you saw Jake slam a huge blade like piece into the amp suit glass cover, but as soon as you saw who drove the suit you heart fell to the floor in seconds, quaritch skipped back, opening the glass cover fully, pulling on a mask, you looked the lab, the windows broken, surely Jake was suffering inside his link, out of nowhere neytiri dropped down in front of me as she shot her arrow right into his chest, his grip of Jake slacked, letting him go, with another precise aim the second arrow hit right in the center of his chest, she ran forward as you were glued to the spot staring at the scene, not moving until you saw him move again this time reaching for his discarded knife to make a final blow before he could rest.

Your were quicker than him, running towards him with a sceam as you jumped pulling out the knife from your calf and down at the base of his neck with a plunge and sickening twist, his suit crashing down while you were still on top, your hands still gripped the hilt of the knife, he looked down at the blade he gave to you now sticking out from the same place he taught you about, a smile formed on his face, he brought a shaking hand to your face, wiping the tears away from your cheek with his thumb as he spoke in a small voice "plunge and twist, i knew i taught you well" with that his hand fell away from your cheek, now you're hand cupping his face as your tears dripped down on his skin, a cry ripping out from your throat, wailing as you gather him in your arms but no success, your cries now muffled in his shoulder, unbeknownst to you, inside the lab similar state could be seen with an opposite outcome from your demise, as Jake caressed neytiri's cheek still in his human body, her hand coming up to hold his while you're wails never reaching their ears.

You leaned your head against his, sniffling before you spoke one last time even if he couldn't hear you now "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please wake up, i can't do this without you" but his eyes never opened, nor did his lips moved to tell you it was okay and he was there for you, his hands stayed by his sides and never engulfed you in his hug, the warmth of it you could never feel again, your eyes trailed one last time over him, as you said your last goodbye to the father of your child "i wish i could have told you sooner but you would've been a father my dear, but now you rest, until we meet again, my love" you kissed both of his eyelids, jumping of the suit, leaving the knife behind embedded in his chest, you walked towards the lab to check on Jake and neytiri, leaving your past behind you, making your way to your new family, ending the war for the good.

A/n : I will explain the last bit in the next part, they will have a happy ending in the next oneee i promise 😭😭

Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @theycallmesia, @elijangwifey, @erosthefae, @murderbirbdany, @killua2dot0, @ilovechickenwings, @kylobensgirl, @darling-imobsessed, @majathepapaya, @sweetirilly, @reinap06, @neteyamforlife, @thatgirljas13, @totesnothere04, @arminsgfloll.

Special Tag : @samistars

© Neteyamyawne 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

[lucillele]

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞

Shuri x Black!fem!reader

Inspired by Love Language by SZA

warning: sappy stuff, angsty in the beginning

A/N: thank you @szalipcombo for giving me something to write and another song in my 61 hour playlist 🤧🤧 also ahh 42 followers 😆😆 i like this one but at the time I feel sort insecure about idk

Having lonely days and nights had unfortunately become an average day for you with Shuri not sticking around long in the mornings, if she even made it to bed that night, and maybe coming home to sleep for a few hours. You couldn’t blame her with all the events that had happened between Namor’s attack and her becoming the black panther but ever since you hadn’t been getting as much attention.

It got to the point where you would lay on her side when she wasn’t there or wear her clothes just to feel closer to her. She still told you how she loved you and how grateful she was for you in the moments that she was able to be with you. However, she had been quiet and closed off lately which again you couldn’t blame her for but you were starting to get desperate. Sometimes you went into the lab just to watch her in her element and left before she caught you knowing she probably knew you were there anyway with her now enhanced senses.

It was one of the rare nights that Shuri came home early enough to catch you awake. She had to come home because of how exhausted she was and basically collapsed into bed the moment she came in. She woke up a few hours later, around 3 am, surprised to see you awake. “Y/N?” She said, rubbing her eyes while turning to face you who was reading a book. You hummed in response instantly putting all of your focus on Shuri. “What are you doing up?” She said, sitting up a bit. “I just wanted to finish this book.” You said, doing your best to conceal the fact that you were lying. She already had a lot to deal with and you didn’t want to add more on top of it.

She gave you a stern look knowing you were lying and took the book out of your hands and set it on the bedside table. She turned to you, expecting an answer. “I know you love me and I’m not trying to make it seem like you don’t..but I want you to show me. I mean, I barely see you anymore. I come to the lab and sometimes I just watch you. I just…I want you to be around.” You said, biting your lip and avoiding her eyes in slight embarrassment for your glorified way of saying ‘I want attention’ and slightly stalkerish confession. There was a small moment of silence as Shuri thought for a bit. “You know that you can tell me anything right? And even if you don’t want to, I’m still here.” You said, grabbing her hand and giving it a slight squeeze making Shuri instantly pull you on top of her into a hug. She had been feeling her guilt build up every day not just over not spending time with you but with the death of her family and the attack on Wakanda. Still, she refused to talk about it or think about it and focus on the work that needed to be done and shut you out but oh how she wanted to hold you and for you to hold her and to tell you everything. She was hoping one day she would have the courage to come clean with you but you beat her to it.

You stayed like this for a good minute with Shuri rubbing circles on your back until she responded to your earlier confession. “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way, I do love you. More than you know.. I just have a lot to do and a lot to…heal from.” She said, now rubbing up and down your back while you completely relaxed in her arms. “I know but don’t feel like you have to rush for me.” You said, tilting your head to look up at her. “It’s no excuse. I want to be honest with you like you are with me. I promise I’ll do better.” She said, giving you a forehead kiss.

“You know what you could do?” You said, looking up at her. “What?” She said, thinking you were being serious. “I think you should get more than 5 hours of sleep.” You said with a bright smile that lightened up the mood, making her look away from you because she knew you were right. “I don’t think that will be possible.” She said, looking at the time. “Just sleep in, besides you have to make it up to me and we need to catch up.” You said, rolling off of her and cuddling into her side. Her face dropped to look at you with a deadpan look. “What does that mean?” Shuri asked sitting up more but you dragged her back down closer to you. “Don’t worry about it, baby.” You said, turning around before looking back which was your infamous sign to let her know that you wanted her to be the big spoon.

“You’re not making me feel better about it.” She said, chuckling. “Never said I would.” You said. You assumed she finally settled down to go to sleep as her arms moved around your waist only to be surprised when you felt her fingers tickle your sides. As you laughed your heart out, Shuri couldn’t help cheesing at hearing your laugh and seeing you smile so much. It didn’t take long for you to fold and apologize, making Shuri happily oblige. “Goodnight, my love.” She said giving you a cheek kiss and pulling the cover on the top of the two of you “Goodnight.” You mumbled, satisfied with how everything went.

[joesalw]

TW- swearing (for anyone uncomfortable with it)

hi so uh. sort of an ex swiftie here? Idk but I need to rant (??) and I feel like you’re the best person for it…

so essentially when I was in middle school ALL of my friends were swifties, and so I thought I’d become cool by liking ts! So I sorta forced myself to listen to her music for those three years and eventually I became kinda fond of it?? Idk I think it’s because I associated those songs with particular fandoms or smth

but anyways now, I’m almost 18 and those swiftie friends have become the most god awful and ykw?? I feel like it all went downhill after she broke up with Joe, because then MH came in and then tk…

and now those songs with resonated with me while I was in middle school make me wanna puke! I’ve unliked almost all her songs, I’ve removed her songs from playlists and I skip her songs whenever it plays

and I’m really pissed because SHE is the reason I’ve had to lock away some of those relatively good memories. Because now all those songs do is make me realise what kind of bullshit people I know online

sorry I really don’t fucking know what’s the point of this rant, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Don't say sorry y'all. I really love reading your ex swiftie rants more than anything

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year and a fic you didn’t expect to write this year from the list you reblogged?

End Of The Year Fanfic Asks (send me some???)

oooh yay!!! thank you for sending me some (even if I am a bit late answering them)

13. Favourite writing song/artist/album of this year?

So - I am going to assume that this means music that you enjoyed listening to while writing or music that inspired your fics?

I don't usually listen to music while writing fics, because I like to clear my head of all distractions during the actual writing process. But usually while I am thinking of ideas or getting in the mood to write a specific fic, then I will definitely curate songs for it. Or sometimes, if I am just listening to a random playlist, then a song that comes on will give me an idea for a fic and inspire me.

And like 80% of my fics are titled after songs, so I love using song lyrics as inspiration and using song motifs and imagery when writing fics.

This year, the album The Jaws of Life by Pierce The Veil was literally top notch for me.

I also really loved So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy, but surprisingly - The Jaws of Life inspired way more fics for me. It came out in February of 2023 and actually - while I did have the middle school emo phase and the emo trinity has always been sacred to me, I didn't start listening to Pierce The Veil actively until I was in my 20s. Which is fucking wild.

But upon hearing the single from this album, Emergency Contact, I fucking fell in love with it - and it was one of the main inspirations for this Jason Todd fic, which I think is one of the greatest fics I have ever written. And the sequel is going to be titled The Jaws of Life - which is another song off the album and I am so excited about how both song titles suit the fics so well.

And there is several other fics I have named after songs off this album (I could have easily named a fic after each song off the album cause I love it so much, but I was trying to use restraint) - Shared Trauma (Gar Logan x Reader), and Damn The Man, Save The Empire (Vanessa Shelly x Reader). And because I was listening to more Pierce The Veil in general, this fic got its title - King For A Day.

I highly, highly recommend the album if you are looking for some fanfic inspiration - or just something good to listen to.

14. A fic you didn't expect to write:

Okay so - this could have a few different answers. Because I absolutely was not expecting to randomly get back into Harry Potter, have another hardcore fixation with it, and end up writing fics for it in the year 2023.

But something I absolutely did not expect - to be writing Spencer Reid fanfiction. Writing the Lessons For A Genius oneshot (and it's follow up, especially so quickly) - I was shocked with myself, because I thought that the first CM fic I ever wrote would be my last.

Idk how many of the people reading this were following me in 2021, but I wrote and posted my first ever Criminal Minds fanfic back then - and mentally, as an artist, it was one of the wildest fanfiction experiences I have ever had.

Burn The Witch - my feelings about it are almost indescribable.

I often have these fics that I call 'mutated oneshots'. Fics that started out as a oneshot, that were always intended to be a oneshot (around 20k) that end up having these mutations and growths - some scenes need more shading in, the emotional arcs of the characters need more time to be fully informed, and while in my head, it is still fully a oneshot, it's now at 40k and I know nobody is going to read that in one sitting in a digestable way. So I have to break it up into parts and I hate doing that because it was never intended to be a series.

It's more like a movie that is getting commercial breaks when you put it on TV (and I think of a writing a series like an episode style TV show).

Some examples of these mutated oneshots are - You Shook Me All Night Long (intended to be one short part, ended up as four parts with a bonus blurb series). No Place Like Home is a huge one - meant to be a oneshot, then in my head it turned into a three shot - ended up as seven fucking parts and currently it's the longest thing I have written, sitting at 90k. I'm Still Standing is another good example.

And it gets even worse, because when I split things up into parts, I'm like "I can add a bit more to this chapter, because maybe I want the mood of the chapter to be a certain way, or I wanna frame the ending of the chapter a certain way so the audience is left with something cool" - and then that adds on like 5k more in a hot minute.

So - how does this affect my feelings about Burn The Witch and Criminal Minds fanfics overall?

Burn The Witch was supposed to be a short, smutty oneshot. That is it. But in the finished version, the sex scene and the smutty themes fall so far into the background - because this turned into an emotional casefic. This fic got so far away from me, and I drove myself insane while writing it, because I wanted to 'hold back', but then I couldn't. And I thought the dark and gory elements were some of the best things I have ever written - but it was received as a flop when I first posted it.

And when I posted it on Tumblr, the chapter with the smut scene in it was the one that always consistently got the most likes - even though it's a chapter in the middle of the story. So I could tell that even though I slaved over making the whole fic consistently very good, as a whole, well-rounded story, a lot of people were only reading one chapter in the middle of it for smut, and that's it. And that made me really upset.

(Like if you want a oneshot for smut, just go find one. It made me regret even labelling it as 'the smut chapter'.)

And just the pure mental and emotional exhaustion I went through to get such little return from the readers - I vowed that I was probably never going to write a Criminal Minds fic ever again.

And I have so many ideas for a sequel to Burn The Witch, but I think if I actually try plotting it all out and writing it and make it how I envision it - it will put me in a mental asylum, because it will end up being like 100k and I don't know if I can write it how I envision it being. Or if I will go crazy in the process.

So generally, I have such a love/hate relationship with writing Criminal Minds fanfics. I think they're fun and I think they can turn out so good, but the readers can be so picky and demanding in that fandom specifically. So I often like to steer clear unless a particular idea is just haunting me. Which is why I am surprised that I ended up writing more for CM this year.

[pelideswhore]

the horror and the wild (and achilles)

basically i’m trying to explain why the songs that are in my iliad playlist are there at all and ofc i’m starting with none other than achilles. I’m gonna do this line-by-line so you can listen as you read but i won’t be doing repeated lines. enjoy <3

also, yes, i am aware that the song is written about an abusive relationship between father and child, and i love listening it to it in that sense (yes i’m traumatized) but in this context it’s obvs different. my ability to make everything about achilles is a gift that keeps on giving. if you don’t want this song to have different meaning than what it’s actually about, just stop reading.

You were raised by wolves and voices, every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed —

The ‘you’ in this line is Achilles, who knew from a very young age that he was destined for greatness. He based his entire personality around the fact, hence the having been ‘raised’ by voices. The ‘wolves’ also remind me of the fact that he a) spent many years in a cave with Charon and b) had many father figures. I mean it. Count them.

They said it all comes down to (you) —

This ties in with the previous line. Achilles really was told that the fate of the war and hence the entirety of Greece depends on him, when he was literally a child. That’s way too much responsibility for a five-year-old if you were looking for parenting tips.

You’re the daughter of silent watching stones, you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments in wonderment at you and yours, forever asking more —

I mostly connect the female part of the song to Thetis. Firstly, I feel like this segment already makes her feel like an ethereal, divine being (although Madeleine’s voice does that well enough ngl), at the same time it also describes her character very well. The fact that the stars ‘hurl all their fundaments’ reminds me of Book (idk what book it is), where Zeus fulfills Thetis’ wish on Achilles’ behalf, no questions asked. I also feel like some people forget that Zeus literally wanted to marry her, she was that gorgeous, so ya.

You are the space that’s in between every page, every chord and every screen. You are the driftwood and the rift, the words I promise I don’t mean —

I don’t know what this means. Love it tho.

We’re drunk, but drinking; sunk, but sinking —

I love this line so much, you have no idea. It brings up the idea that while they all know that they are fated to die and it is guaranteed, there’s still living it in real time. They’re eating, laughing, speaking, with the knowledge that tomorrow they won’t be able to. They’re dead men walking. Also, on a less existential note, it reminds me of the fact that they’ve doomed themselves by starting the war and yet they continue it. They’ve dug themselves a hole and instead of hopping out, they dig deeper.

They thought us blind, we were just blinking —

Patroclus and Achilles now: Their decision to put the war on hold, a momentary action, is the blinking, in relation to “blindness” which would’ve been leaving. The ‘they’ who thought them blind could really be Agamemnon, who underestimates and insults Achilles with the little party he sends to him. Or it could be Hector and the Trojans who believed they were safe … and then Achilles came back.

All the stones and kings of old will hear us screaming at the cold —

The stones are a perfectrepresentation of the Trojan wall and the kings, well, that’s the current Trojan royal family but also all that have passed. They will hear Achilles screaming at the cold, which could be the sea or Patroclus’ corpse if you want to take it literally. When he hears the news of Patroclus’ death, his screams do in fact reach Troy.

Remember me, I ask. Remember me, I sing —

Yeah. Remembrance for Achilles is obviously a big thing, so I’m not going to go super deep here, however the switch from ‘ask’ to ‘sing’ is really nice, considering we’re taking about an epic that was sung in remembrance of Achilles. The first word of the Iliad is literally ‘sing’.

Give me back my heart you wingless (thing) —

This could very much be about the fight for Patroclus’ corpse, but Achilles didn’t even know that was happening at the time, so instead I just make it about Achilles wanting Patroclus to be alive again. He does in fact refer to him as “his soul’s far dearer part”.

Think of all the horrors that I promised you I’d bring —

To me, this sounds like Achilles referring to threats he made to Hector about killing him and bringing destruction to his people. While the threats were empty at the time, now, after Patroclus has died, he takes them very seriously.

I promise you, they’ll sing of every time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child —

In the song, this is the same person as in the lines before and after, considering it’s a song about a father and his son, but to me, this line is about the fact that Achilles wants the affection Patroclus showed him to be remembered. He doesn’t want the love they had to go forgotten. This is 100% caused by the fact that in my writing, Patroclus and Achilles’ hair is a huge thing you might want to look out for if you read it lols. OH also, the fact that he cuts it after Patroclus dies is like a “if you can’t touch it, no one can” moment.

Witness me, old man, I am the wild —

Back to the Trojans. ‘Old man’ here obviously means father but we’ll just ignore that and apply it to Priam, specifically to the scene where he comes to Achilles’ tent and asks for Hector’s corpse back.

You are the son of every dressing up box —

Honestly, I have no idea what this means. It definitely does remind me of Achilles hiding in a costume among the princesses in Skyros, but that doesn’t hold all too much significance. Dressing up is also usually a kids’ game which reminds you that he’s really just a kid pretending to be someone he’s not.

And I am time itself, I slow to let you play. I steal the hours and turn the nights into (day) —

Instead of giving the female voice just to Thetis, I could classify it as divine interference as a whole. This line specifically is giving me Athena vibes, though she is not time itself. The way she refers to what would be battling in this context as ‘playing’ shows how superior she is and how much she looks down upon even her favoured soldiers. It also reiterates for the millionth time that these soldiers are really just children. The fact that Athena has to ‘let’ him or allow him to play illustrates that Achilles is dependent on divine interference to win his battles, but specifically the duel with Hector.

Day by day, oh lord, three things I pray, that I might understand as best I can how bold I was, could be, will be - still am, by god, still am —

Here we get to the self-reflection where Achilles realizes that he was never as great as he thought he’d be, and that he had failed his people by not using that greatness to its full potential. The ‘will be’ and ‘still am’ parts are just him hyping himself up to take revenge on Hector, reminding himself that he does have the strength to do it.

Fret not, dear heart, let not them hear the mutterings of all your fears, the fluttering of all your wings —

I don’t know how deep I can go into this beyond what it literally means. He simply can’t let on that he’s scared. I guess the wings do represent his inner demons, but it’s also kind of funny when you think of him being Podarkes aka. having “winged feet”.

Welcome to the storm, I am thunder —

In the storm that is the war, Achilles is the thunder, the loud thing everyone fears. It’s quite interesting to consider that in reality, thunder is safe. The danger is the lighting. In my mind, Achilles considers Patroclus to be the lightning, which makes sense when you remember that after his death Achilles admits that he is not the best of all Greeks, but Patroclus. This leaves Achilles to be the thunder, the echo of what truly mattered.

Welcome to my table, bring your hunger —

This is similar to the line before. It’s his table, his war. Hector is the one that has to come prepared, ready to fight, but also ready to be served, ready to die.

[ambrossart]

I was listening to the Paper Men playlist while doing a of UNI assignment, and I came to a specific song that seemed VERY familiar to me 👁️👁️, to my surprise, it was a song from LITTLE NIGHTMARES 2, AND OMG I LOVE LITTLE NIGHTMARES, IT'S MY FAVORITE VIDEO GAME AAAHHHH!!!😭💖

Now, my mind keeps imagining Evelyn at some VERY tense moment, whether she's afraid of something that is inevitably going to happen or Idk, maybe she is also facing some hallucination of her greatest fear because of Pennywise.

It's just my mind imagining things while listening to music, lol ;c

I want to finish my homework quickly to continue reading, I get anxious why I haven't finished reading yet, I feel like I'm missing something really good about the story (I also want to avoid spoilers for the chapters, but I think i've already seen two 😭)

I LOVE LITTLE NIGHTMARES! The visuals, the music… It’s my favorite video game series, so I had to include at least song.

I associate it with Patrick myself, but that song fits any creepy scene honestly.

And omg I’m SO SORRY about the spoilers. This blog isn’t a safe place if you want to avoid spoilers, but I should probably try to be more careful in the future 😅

[remus-poopin]

21, 43, 48 for the Snape asks, if you’re still answering them? :) ty!

21. What particular memory do you think Snape used to conjure his patronus?

Ok so I now subscribe to the hc that @serpenera presented in this post that the patronus is a symbol of hope not just happiness and therefore needs a happy memory of something that will keep you going forward, so obviously for Snape that’s going to be Lily related. After Lily’s death I think like mentioned in that post, he would think of Harry finally safe and out of danger.

43. What's your favourite headcanon about Snape? Is there a movie/song/book that reminds you of Snape?

I think my favorite hc is that he actually likes Luna and enjoys teaching her. I think he would appreciate her creativity, individuality, and kindness while also emphasizing with her being bullied. Idk but I can’t see him giving his usual asshole attitude to her.

For what songs remind me of him: Everytime I listen to The Smiths I think of Snape because ✨ vibes ✨but this song in particular is literally sooo Snape coded it’s insane

Also everything in my cokeworth cunt playlist

48. Did you feel Snape was the "good guy" even before the reveal?

Hm so when I was a kid I read the first couple books but once I got to GOF I stopped and only heard them through audiobooks that my grandma would constantly play for us at her office (she was very into the series lol) but I wasn’t fully paying attention. I did however watch all the movies in theaters and I was much more into that. When the HBP movie came out I think I was 7 or 8 and I don’t remember feeling all that strongly about Snape or Dumbledore dying (I really only cared about Hermione and maybe Harry). So I wasn’t really thinking about Snape and or any plot twist to come. I think when the last movie came out in like 2012 or something I was in 5th grade and the Always scene happened and it was definitely not expected for me. So honestly no I didn’t think he was the good guy, but I don’t think I was even thinking about him at all.

[beanie-twink]

So since you wanted some ianthony song recs... And I am also currently working on creating a playlist for them. I figured you wouldn't mind if I ramble about some of my favourite choices so far! :D

For now the playlist is still pretty TS heavy , since I went through her albums first to look for songs. So here are some of my top choices (aside from midnight rain) for them there:

- forever winter

"he spends most of his nights wishing it was how it used to be" "all this time I didn't know you were breaking down. I'd fall to pieces on the floor, if you weren't around"

- 'tis the damn season

"if I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone I would have asked you" "so we could call it even [...] I'm staying at my parent's house and the road not taken looks real good now" "and I always leads to you, in my hometown" "so I'll go back to LA [...] And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'"

- and then of course the corresponding "Dorothea"

- closure (this song hits even more since we know about the letter that Anthony wrote)

(tho I'm glad that the song doesn't actually apply to them irl anymore; it just feels like Smth for the in between phase)

- both happiness and evermore also fit pretty well for that time

Especially with "sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet" "now I get fake niceties. No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too"

And

"motion capture put me in a bad light" "writing letters addressed to the fire" "I rewind the tape but all it does is pause on the very moment all was lost"

- also "right where you left me" for Ian Vs "it's time to go" for anthony

- I almost do

Literally the whole song fits so well here idk what else to say (works from both perspectives imo)

- Breathe

"Cause none of us thought that it was gonna end this way. Ppl are ppl and sometimes we change our minds. But it's killing me to see you go after all this time" "you're the only thing I know like the back of my hand" "It's 2:00 am feeling like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it's not easy for me"

- That's when

Just really reminds me of that time when they were still apart and when asked if there are any plans of Anthony coming back one day or Smth like that and said Smth along the lines of "the door is always open"

- the story of us

Again, literally the whole song istg

But especially "now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know: is it killing you like it's killing me?"

- from folkore I think both "the 1" and "exile" fit pretty well

Especially "and it took you 5 whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it" and the whole bridge with "you didn't even here me out. You never gave a warning sign/I gave so many signs"

- also "this is me trying"

With "I didn't know if you care if I came back. I have a lot of regrets about that." "But I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying" (Anthony)

"and it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film real on the one screen in my town"

- you're loosing me (right before the Anthony left smosh)

"do I throw out everything we built or keep it?" "my face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick"

- New Year's Day (hurts during the "break-up" era, but also feels very healing atm tbh)

"don't read the last page. But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes"

"hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you"

"Please don't ever become a stranger, whose laugh I could recognize anywhere"

Honourable mentions:

- I wish you would

- you are in love

- long live

- the very first night

- hits different

Sorry this was way longer than intended lmao.

And mostly angsty

Hope you enjoy some of them tho! :D

ANOTHER IANTHONY SWIFTIE BLESSED DAY

[hilsoncrater]

idk how that WIP fmk ask game works but i’d be curious to hear ur thoughts on any ted lasso wips you have !

HELL yes tysm!! i LOVE talking abt WIPs

fuck - the story you just want to read instead of having to write it yourself

i have the outline done for a tedtrent western film AU inspired by a convo with @stevecarrington @tomlinfonda and @larkin21 !!

the fic is set in the 60s, right as the western genre is going out of style. rebecca owns a film studio (richmond studios) in hollywood, and wants to blow up its reputation to get back at rupert. so she has higgins cast ted, a high school drama teacher from kansas, to star in an upcoming western film. she then personally hires trent, an established director well-known for being a cold-hearted bitch to work with, to direct the movie. the film itself is risky, as it subverts cornerstones of the western genre. this is the film's synopsis:

Mason "Badlands" Morris (Theodore Lasso) is a lone cowboy rider hired for a job he don't normally do: escort a Miss Josephine Fairfax (Keeley Jones) from Kansas all the way to California so she can reunite with her beau Jack (Jamie Tartt). To ensure no untowardness, her uncle Ezra (Roy Kent) accompanies them, himself desperate for a change. Over the course of 14 days during the spring of 1856, the trio face unexpected challenges and uncover secrets which would best be left buried.

the fic spans from the first initial table read all the way to release day. shenanigans and unlikely romances ensue. i have everything for this SO clearly mapped in my head and on paper, but i know it's going to be a massive undertaking putting it into words. so if i could just...read it instead that'd be amazin LMAO

marry - the story you're obsessed with writing and never want to stop working on or thinking about

break me, shake me, devastate me (come here baby) is one i cannot stop writing/thinking about. the second and final chapter for it is going to be at minimum 7k words long because i keep adding more details in or reworking scenes. especially since the james lance interview dropped and we got more trent lore. the flipside to this is that i'm chewing my nails, sweating over the fact i haven't updated in 12 days. i deadass tried to update this past sunday but!! no!! it didn't feel complete yet. so hopefully this weekend it'll happen

grief and longing are my favorite themes to write about, which this fic explores. i have a playlist titled "grieving" that i made purely to listen to while writing this fic.

kill - the story you're most frustrated with and would rather just put it in the trash (or a high shelf somewhere to forget about for a long time)

i've kind of already done this, but there's a royjamie fic i'm bashing my head against the wall about. i got inspired by AURORA's songs "forgotten love" and "soft universe", specifically the lyrics:

You are the reason I can dance Within a fire of goodbyes, of goodbyes I can lie in a dark room without the feeling that I'm lonely

and

My body falls off the side of her bed And now I know what love feels like Don't let me turn into pain All of this is loveliness Chaos came, we laid our head Down on the feather cotton bed You find a heart and catch your breath Let the universe go red Speak to me, speak to me With love in your words Make for me, make for me A soft universe

basically the fic is about different times roy and jamie sleep together in the same bed. it explores their unspoken codependency and the soft intimacy they share underneath their weird dynamic. the reason i'm frustrated is that i cannot seem to find a good enough explanation for why they start sharing a bed LMAO

currently i have something inspired by the fonda/redford film Our Souls At Night, where jamie shows up at roy's door one night and is like "i can't sleep, mate. i miss having a person next to me."

we'll see though. maybe i'll find motivation for the fic again

[eclectic-freak]

The Poppy War, Somewhat Niche music headcannons

Catch me on a Saturday night kicking my feet while reading one if these, here are mine.

When the Sinegard 4 are on road trips, Rin insists on making Playlists. Nezha objects heavily but is then caught shazaming one of Rin's songs and is promptly made fun of.

Kitay loves Gorrilaz and The Strokes

Venka has a playlist for every woman she has a thing with. Every time she has a new fling, she just changes the name of the playlist to her current lover. She's re-used this playlist multiple times now.

While Nezha and Rin are alone. One of Nezha's playlists are on shuffle, Ariana Grande comes on, and they both look at each other awkwardly, and Nezha changes the song. if there were multiple other people around, Rin would make fun of him. But she can't do it when they are alone, so she just ignores it (could you imagine if like 34+35 came on LMAO)

Rin secretly listens to Lana Del Rey, Kitay catches her and gives her a knowing look.

Kitay is obsessed with geoguesser. This isn't music related, just facts

Nezha #1 twice Stan, Doughnut makes him bawl iykyk

Whenever Ramsa gets handed the aux, he almost always plays megolavania. Everyone yells at him to turn it off, but then they see him sulking and feel bad, so they let him play it anyway

Rin listens to death metal while studying

I can see Daji vibing to ABBA. No, I will not take criticisms actually

The Cike have a karaoke night every month, and they almost always get kicked out of the room because they are too chaotic

Building from that, Rin and Suni's go-to karaoke song is 'Your Man' by Josh Turner.' They sing this together. This always sends Chaghan into a breakdown because it somehow upsets something in the spirit world. (Idk it's something about "🎶baby lock them doors and turn the lights down low🎶 That sends Chaghan into a screaming fit) And to get them to stop, he fights Rin. 6/10 times this is why they get kicked out

[mountinez]

buenos diiiiaaas nikka (if you’re reading this in the mroning that is! i should be asleep right now…but my mind says no!)

i was looking for songs to add to the lichantony playlist and came across this one, i looove this song and listening to it now makes me think of you

something about the sea and the memories it holds, idk maybe it’s just me but it makes me feel so nostalgic. perhaps i’m a tiny bit envious that you live by a beach but that envy goes away entirely because you get to experience its beauty and see the moon rise over the ocean, and i love that for you.

but yeah, these lyrics especially remind me of you and of our friendship :)

quisiera saber de donde vienes tú

vamos a dejar que el tiempo pare

ver nuestros recuerdos en los mares

because yes <3 !!

HAN 😭

i had the wonderful idea of listening to this song while i was heading to work this morning and i got tearing up at the bus stop 😭 lord this day is so heavy already, i hate my co-workers so so much. but then, there is you and all the affection you have towards me, making me feel safe, making me feel that i have a place to stay.

being quite honest, i noticed we both have this connection with nature and celestial bodies. it is like we have connected ourselves, and i'm really too too tooooo attached to you right now. i feel like we can find comfort and feel a bit of each other's presence in these particular things. me and the sea, you and the moon, and at some point, both find each other just like us found each other in this little website.

this song is now my bedtime song, my go-to-work song, my wake-up song. anything to make me remember of you!

i love you loads, until the end of this time and the start of the new one <3

[thefearhas]

my june playlist kind of got longer than 4 hours now bc i couldn't stop adding songs..

i unironically still listen to ab jetzt by cro that song got me through one of my most depressive episodes😭 also Hamma!.. that song is so addictive.. i remember watching the monsta mv by culcha candela on the computer of an old friend's brother with my friend in primary school. i don't think it was really appropriate for kids but not my fault👀 also when i first heard smile please from msp it reminded me so much of the bridge of hamma!.. idk why.. it has some similar notes😭

my brother showed me PRIDE. a while ago and i didn't really like it the first listen now i love it so much!! so let's love was the same i didn't appreciate it enough when it came out but now i do!! bal gibi olur just has childhood vibes that song was the intro song of iki aile😭 senden daha güzel is such a bop but at the same time it is soo overused that it gets annoying sometimes.

i almost forgot about strong by london grammar. i heard it the first time when someone sang it on the voice kids!! and now i rediscovered it bc it was used in genera+ion!!

i never really listened to bts but black swan is just so good!! also the orchestra version!!

i remember discovering this charming man through a book which had a whole playlist in the back!! also i showed it to a classmate years ago i remember us sharing earphones and we weren't even friends😭

fair by nura literally so good!! i love that she also did an orchestra version!! one of the lyrics translates to "why is it the refugee that scares you and not the nazis in the parliament".

heart attack was one of the first kpop songs i knew and i still love it very much. i know do it, try it bc druck used another M83 in that scene where matteo imagines david twirling😭 good times.

the first times i listened to Hello Stranger i only listened to the instrumental song bc it was so good. it feels so long ago that i listened to so many kpop songs.. my year 2020 playlist was full of kpop songs and now it got so much less😔

when i worked at aldi for a while last year i always had early shifts so the manager had on the radio before we opened and heat waves was literally playing so much i got so annoyed of it😔 it is a good song but having to listen to it every morning 6/7am is not nice. it felt like the radio station was playing it on loop.

i just remembered dkz covered hele bi gel that was really cool. i was so surprised when i saw a kpop group covering a turkish song😭 that song is also childhood bc it was the intro song of kavak yelleri. the only storyline i remember from that show was that one main character dying and then many episodes later he was suddenly alive but had memory loss😭

anyway very nice of you to read it until the very end these were some of my random thoughts. have a nice day and good night from me.🫂

[onlyoneofyouu]

Ah Jo, I just read the post about Freefall (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

You deserve kudos and all the love for speaking about what you went through this year. I wouldn't be able to do this and I'm glad TxT are helping you a lot rn (⁠o⁠´⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠)⁠っ

And overall, I just agree about everything you said. Lore aside, it's clear that they had fun while recording and working on the album. They found the genres where they're currently more comfortable and they're going to use them.

And also OOOOOH you liked Growing Pain too?! Yeeeees 😭

My rock/metal fan inside me screamed, cried and went "YES, THAT'S MY BOYS. THEY DID IT FOR MEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

And then I claimed the song as my fave, as my precious thing that no one should talk badly about or I'll go full rage mode (for legal reasons, this last part is a joke. Taste is subjective, yadda yadda).

Even tho I confess that a little tear came from my face after listening to the song for the, like, fifth time. I thought "Damn, Chester would have loved covering it (you know, Chester Bennington from Linkin Park)...And now I'm here, being a little emotional and teary about it 🥲😭

And I'm also projecting what would ever happen if TxT will ever go full rap/nu metal one day. I don't think it can happen because they need to find a vocal coach for teaching them how to growl or scream without losing their vocal chords five minutes later and also because they seem to not be into metal in general 🤣

Unless they'll do a collab with my girls Babymetal...ACH I shouldn't think about it or I'll project too much. But maybe a Japanese single...AAAAAAAAAAAAAH 😭

Better if they stick in the normal rock.

Also, idk you but I highly, HIGHLY, prefer Blue Spring live instead of the studio version 🥲

It seems the studio version is missing something 🤨🤔

Which is a bummer, the song is good 🥲

Teresaa thank you so much for your words 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 i'm also really glad i have txt to give me joy, support and relief 🥲 as always i don't want to rely on it too much because it puts pressure on artists that are human too and can't solve all of our problems, but music itself keeps being there for me and i'm always going to rely on that ❤

With lore involved it can become even more tricky for groups to express themselves through the music, so i'm really glad txt are given the opportunity to do that anyway!! (it certainly helps that the lore itself was built to fit the experiences of young people, but you know, as taehyun said on his last live, gbgb for example felt more forced for him because he wasn't really feeling what they were supposed to portray) for as much as i'm a lore enthusiast, if leaving it behind meant having more creative freedom for a group i'd support it 100% *coff coff ateez coff coff*

i'm also glad the company keeps overall acknowledging and respecting that txt shine and are more comfortable with certain genres yup yup!

i'm usually not an hard rock and metal enthusiast, it depends on the song, and Growing Pains is one of those for me 🥰 you claiming and defending it is like me with Dreamer sksgskhsks

... 🥺🫂 i'm not fan of Linkin Park, more of a casual listener, but i also thought about them when i heard it... also and me and my brother yesterday night were listening to some music together and one of their songs came up and i was like "full circle!"

i love how one way or another txt found a way to make us all shed at least a few tears :")

the vocal coach part made me crackle 😭😭😭 anyway bestie, delulu is the solulu 🤝 maybe they'll never go full metal but i hope they give us more hard rock and metal inspired in the future yes 🙏 let's manifest 🕯

so i'm not the only one part 2!! i feel the same way 🤝 i also prefer Blue Spring live version! its rawness just perfectly delivers the feelings, the studio version doesn't sound as good for some reason, so i'm keeping my dear blue spring live concert ver mp3 file in my playlist 👍

[fuumiku]

hiiiii you don't need to reply to this i just wanted to say thank you for the kimbliza :)c its always refreshing to see riza rarepairs and i think your brain is huge for liking kimblee/riza ... i rarely see people being interested in it and i think thats a shame when they only have one interaction in the entire series BUT it is kimblee calling riza out on her bullshit while also calling her ojouchan/little lady like cmon... just that leaves possibility for such an interesting dynamic.... and im personally obsessed with the valentines day art bc this meme instantly came to my mind when i saw it LMAO anyway!! thanks again for sharing your kimbliza i hope to get to see more of your art/thoughts of them!!! have a nice day!!

Omg thank you so much! :D I don’t usually answer asks like these out of self-consciousness but the meme is too accurate to keep to myself and you are sooo right! I loved your tags as well lol they gave me a good chuckle.

I can’t find the post again, but I once read a post that went like "the reason that you’re both touch-starved and touch-averse is that you’ve spent so long without human touch that you interpret every contact as a threat" and I really do think that fits them both. Hehe might as well put a song I love here that fits them and this theme really well: Touch by July Talk

If you want more of my thoughts, @fumifooms is the blog to look at! I’ll link my kimbliza tag on there here. I recently did a sort of masterpost of kimbliza crumbs in canon because I am starved. I’ll also shout out @tombraxas because they churn out awesome kimbliza posts and fanfictions regularly! I owe it to them for having radicalized me as a kimbliza shipper lol

Kimblee literally meaningfully impacted Riza’s character fundamentally so hard like damn!! For a rarepair that is a massive win. Idk the interaction they had feels so special. I do think people tend to forget that Kimblee doesn’t say the things he does out of malice, ouugh he’s so interesting!! I think Kimblee and Riza have soo many parallels actually. Blunt and strong convictions vs quiet, reserved and a follower. Both ready to kill their superior/commanding officer if the situation demands it. His iconic “don’t avert your eyes from the dead” speech was originally meant for her not Roy and no one can take any of this away from me. I’m like Denji eating the cake with my hands lolol. The flavor kimbliza has is simply unmatched. Riza is my special wet cat little war criminal princess (Wet cat and war criminal have the same first letters, if not equivalent then explain 🤨 /j)

I do plan on making more kimbliza art yes! I actually have a few actual Valentine’s day themed ones in the works lol. I’m rather slow and busy though… ;w; Also fics! I’ve already made two short ficlets, see them on my ao3! I’ve been hyperfixating on them for like 2 months now with no sign of stopping… I have so many wips. My kimbliza spotify playlist is my longest playlist ever 😭 I scoured both ao3 and ff.net and read everything about them I could find. I may be obsessed.

[unqompleted]

Suzume Movie Review

ok so where do I start [checking notes aka last night rants on my twitter]. I always want to elaborate my review so it's not just "It's great!" but without spreading spoilers. Now I'm confused haha.

listen to this while reading!!

Visual

Amazing as usual. Not just realistic, the colors are also, how do I put it, pleasant to eyes? Especially the colors in the sky part. Sometimes I caught myself gawking to the screen, it's That Prettyyy :")

Audio

Very suitable is an understatement, idk how to explain audio shjsja. There are some sad scenes that I don't feel any sad (im old ok), but the background song spreads the vibes immensely that I'm ended up tearing up a bit. Definitely added to my daily playlist!

Characters

Suzume and Souta has very different character, but somehow compatible. An adventurous highschooler that could rebelling against her family to do things she wants and a very family-oriented college student that resigned to his fate as the Closer (and eventually the Keystone).

As for the side characters, Tamaki-san is my favorite. She's a hardworker, worrywart but ofc that's understandable. Souta's grandfather is kinda annoying at the hospital scene, but that's reasonable too, mind you he came from different generation from Suzume and Souta's. Their characters are very realistic, Asian parents' brand.

Plot

Disaster happened -> Two strangers meeting -> They fight the calamity together -> Strangers-to-lovers trope. Boring? I saw others review on twitter and they said yes these kind of plot is boring, besides three Makoto Shinkai's movies in a row has the same general plot. BUT NOT FOR MEEE. They are similar but still different in soo many ways.

Compared to the other two (Your Name and Weathering With You), it's the female lead that help the male lead to comeback to mortal world. Suzume's ending is not an open ending, no one forget each other, just they happily ever after. The calamity still exists as long as the world is but they had each other. ROMANCE IS NOT DEAD

Conclusion

SOOOO I love this movie!!!!!!!! I'm never get bored of Makoto Shinkai's strangers-to-lovers story, even if as the older I watch them the more I can't relate with how the leads falling in love with each other in just a week or so. Guess that's a personal thing lol.

Also this review is very biased bcs I was watching at 4DX 2D studio, where my experience must be different from watching at the 2D ones. It cost twice than the usual 2D tix (count it 6 times bcs I paid for my sister and brother's tix hhhhhhH), but hella worth the price!! Highly recommend to watch in 4DX if it's available in your place for the best experience.

omw to the ever-after dimension to ki** the little me

Some unnecessary remarks (MAJOR SPOILERS)

It's so funny when Souta and Suzume got played by Daijin, kinda reminds me of my cats ajksjk DEVILISH FELINE

When Tamaki-san yelled at Suzume at the parking lot... I totally get it. I felt that sometimes towards my cats. Her anger and worry is understandable. I too will yell and shout at my children if they run away from home and can't tell me the reasons and just say "you won't understand it".

ANDD still on Tamaki-san and Suzume's bantering, when Suzume yelling back "That's why it feels suffocating!!", damnnn was it hits so close to home.

I amazed with Suzume's courage when she was trying to hitch-hiking car. I could neverrrr trust strangers :/ (but that's fiction for you ig)

When Suzume kiss the chair LMAOOO I CANTTT

Hospital scene:

Suzume: I'm not scared of die! I'm scared of life without Souta!

Me: damnn so corny *tearing up*

I almost fall from my seat when Suzume climbing the big worm in Tokyo. Watching at 4DX studio and the shaking from the seat is no jokee HAHAHA IM SO EMBARASSED i hope the woman next to me won't remember this 😭😭