#I've seen a few animals before in my labs

[showfallmediamedical]

I would like to state, before anyone may worry as the company is quite large, no babies have ever been birthed in Showfall or the medical facilities. Someone being pregnant would potentially distract from their jobs as well, so I doubt anyone has had the time for such activities in the first place.

It might be a different story for the animals that may be part of some shows, but I'm not a vet so that's something one of the other doctors handles!

The night shift can be quite quiet can't it? Hmm, the buzzing of electronics at work.

[owlf45]

romance me with mosquito facts

mosquitoes, when in a condensed enough space, sound like gentle rain.

i work with a specific mosquito species, called the aedes agypti, which carries diseases like dengue virus, west niles virus, and yellow fever. the males are generally smaller than the females, though emerge into adults sooner. you can tell the difference between males and females by the fluffy antennas of the males.

gay mosquitoes everywhere.

mosquitoes tend to be social, if stupid creatures. if you stick two mosquitoes alone in a cage, they probably wont chill (and wont mate). it's just not their style. this is especially frustrating when trying to set up specific genetic crosses.

although i never met them, there used to be a researcher at the lab who did the most batshit stuff. we keep our mosquitoes in mesh cages, so they can't escape but they can feed through the mesh (so we don't have to reach in and out of the cages and potentially let some loose). this old researcher used to grab the morning newspaper, roll up his pants, collapse in a chair and settle his calves over the mesh cages for literal thousands of mosquitoes to feed from him. for hours. i want to meet this man so bad.

mosquitoes are stupid and annoying and prone to killing themselves akin to a goldfish constantly getting stuck in a filter. but strangely enough, you grow to love them. they are simultaneously fragile and durable, easily discernible and difficult to hunt. you can tear their hind legs off and put them through shock a few times and they'll be fine, but a single finger will smush them (quite inconveniently, when you know that bitch could've moved!).

directly after bloodfeeding a female mosquito, if you kill her—often by clapping her directly between your hands (female mosquitoes are the only ones to bloodfeed)—the blood will still be warm.

although i dont screen larvae for traits as often as I used to (I tend to do more database/mosquito caretaking work now), certain gene-linked traits can be found physically in the larvae and pupae stages—sometimes they glow bright blue/green under fluorescent lighting, for example.

like I said though, i mostly work with caretaking. i do the bloodfeeding, i replace their food and water, and i make sure they're in good health and can lay eggs on a proper surface. the mosquitoes under my care live for about a month and a half, though if they're still alive by the time we need to hatch the next generation, we simply fridge them and kill them off. put mosquitoes in the fridge for a few minutes and they'll go to sleep. put them in for a few hours, and they'll usually die— we keep them in for 24 hours to make sure, though.

mosquitoes are difficult to contain. compared to other biochemistry departments, you have tiny creatures that are mobile and can fly, and can't always be seen by the average person unless they're specifically looking for it. I've worked in microbiology labs before, but if there was contamination, it was solely on the researcher. contamination from a loose mosquito is hard to track. this is all to say that I work in a bunker—double doors, minimal vents, no windows.

mosquitoes are the deadliest animals in the world. mosquitoes kill over a million people a year (hence my research). i sit in the back of the bunker sometimes, in the side warm room where we keep our cages of mosquitoes, hundreds of different genetically modified lines in progress at a time, and I have blood on my palms— blood that I fed to my subjects before I squashed them because they escaped from their cages, and I think about the fact that for over 200 lines of this species, I grow them from eggs to adults to death and hatch their offspring again and again and again. i think of lovecraftian horror and I hear gentle rain and remember images of war that keep me up late at night, and I wonder what's the point, for a few numbers in my bank account, and then another mosquito has gotten loose and lands on my arm and doesn't bite me, because it's already full; because i already fed it; because it's just looking for a small, dark place to rest in the folds of my jacket.

mosquitoes love to hide on black surfaces.

[crevicedwelling]

Hello! I've been around A LOT of crickets in my life and this is the only time I've seen a white-eyed one. Have you seen anything like this before or is it just very rare?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

very rare! but known to science, where mutants like these have been bred for research.

white-eye mutations seem to be a simple recessive in crickets, cockroaches, and fruit flies although I’m not sure if they operate under the same mechanism (esp. the flies, there’s so many well-studied strains and I don’t know enough about them to say if there’s multiple different mutations resulting in white eyes).

I’m most familiar with white-eyed roaches, bred as hobby pets. apparently they’re much less reactive to light and visual stimulus than wildtype roaches.

in crickets, oddballs are most commonly noted in house crickets (Acheta domestica) bred for feeding to pets. there’s multiple posts on Arachnoboards about people who’ve found mutants in their feeders.

there’s also this cool red-eyed Acheta on BugGuide, also from feeder stock I think

the same species, as well as similar mutants of Gryllus bimaculatus, have been bred in the lab to study their physiology and behavior.

but your find was quite rare, and probably the coolest thing anyone’s sent me all year! I would love to see more photos of the little critter if you’ve got any.

[klausysworld]

would u be down to write Klaus x vampire hunter? I need that forbidden love angst and all that goodness!! I also may have seen a Buffy the vampire slayer post and couldn’t stop thinking about a Klaus x slayer relationship 🤔

Plot twist? She ends up getting pregnant!?!? I just need the juicy stuff loool

(this is gonna be a multiple part story FOR SURE! I can't lie I've had a very similar idea/scenario running through my head for the past few weeks so i'm really glad someone really wanted this too! The only reason it'll be multiple parts is so that it's easier to read and so that i'm able to add the build up how i imagined :))

Love is never simple

(Part 2 here)

Y/n was the first born daughter to Grayson and Miranda Gilbert.

When Y/n was born they had only very recently claimed Elena as their own, passing the two babies off as twins to those they knew. Fraternal of course for they were definitely not similar not for their looks nor their behaviour.

Elena was a mommy’s girl, she wanted to dress up and be the princess: have her hair and nails done, go shopping with her friends Caroline and Bonnie.

Meanwhile Y/n was more curious. She liked to follow her father, learn from his actions. She still spent time with the girls but given the choice to run around a field and swing a bat then she wouldn’t say no.

One day Miranda was unable to pick up the two girls from school, they were only young and couldn’t get a lift home. Grayson came straight from work and took the girls back there with him. Elena did as she was told, stayed in the designated room and wrote in her diary. Y/n decided to sneak after her father, wondering down a cold staircase to a dungeon of sorts. Men were walking with purpose in lab coats and barking orders at weak, pale beings in cells.

She could see card shot glasses filled with a deep red liquid laid out in rows on a tray. She held onto the railing of the stairs and watched as, who she assumed to be sick people, begged for the cups. Eventually they were given the small dosage, dark veins travelled down their eyes to their cheeks and sharp teeth poked into their lower lips.

A hint of fear swirled within her eyes, confusion and fascination. Something was wrong with these people. She peered closer, accidentally drawing the attention of one of the patients. His eyes narrowed before a small, cruel smile formed on his lips. It barely lasted a second before Y/n was harshly grabbed by the upper arm, causing a shriek to leave her as her head whipped round to see her fathers alarmed face staring back at her

“Y/n!” He yelled “you do not come down here!” Grayson hurriedly lifted her up the stairs and slammed the door shut behind him. “Where’s Elena? Is she still in the office?” He questioned in a panic and Y/n nodded quickly

“She stayed- I’m sorry Daddy- i just wanted to see” she whispered and he sighed, placing her down onto her feet and kissed her forehead.

“It’s not safe for you there” he warned

“What was wrong with those people?” She asked quietly and he clenched his jaw

“They’re not people Y/n…” he murmured “they’re…monsters…they just dress up as people”

They both looked at each-other trying to figure out what the other was thinking

“Dressed up?” She questioned curiously and he clicked his tongue

“Yes…see y/n, they aren’t humans. They just want you to believe that they are, they’re dangerous and it’s part of my job to stop them…to help real people be safe” he explained and she nodded

“You cure them?” She tilted her head, she knew her father was a doctor. Perhaps by stopping them he would make them people instead of monsters.

“If only that were a thing my little y/n….these beasts cannot be cured. Do you remember last summer when there was that…mountain lion on the loose?” He asked her and she nodded with a puzzled smile. “Well that creature hurt people, sent them to heaven…and because of that, the lion had to be put to rest” he told her and she nodded, viscous animals were put down, she knew that. “These beasts, they’re just like that lion. They’re viscous and they won’t ever be tame…they won’t ever feel love. They just want to hurt people.” He whispered, his eyes conveying passion as he spoke of the monsters.

“So you put them down?” She murmurs and he nods

“That’s right” he confirmed and she nodded back at him.

“Because they deserve it?” She utters and he smiled

“Exactly y/n, exactly”

And that was the start of a very twisted childhood.

Miranda was furious when she found out that Y/n had seen the Augustine vampires. They yelled all through the night, their angry voices sounding through the house which resulted in a frightened Elena and a crying Jeremy to climb into Y/n’s bed, all huddling together, looking to y/n for protection.

The next morning nobody spoke a word of the previous day. They ate breakfast, Grayson kissed the heads of each of his children and went of to work. Miranda got them all ready for school and dropped them off before going to work.

The system repeated itself until Y/n stepped out of line again. Tyler Lockwood had shoved Jeremy into a wall and called him names, Y/n wasn’t nearly as big as Tyler but threw punches just as hard. By the time the teacher had separated the two, both Grayson and Miranda were at the school beyond worried.

The school recommended Y/n went to a child’s psychologist to catch her anger management issues earlier rather than later. The same message was passed onto the Lockwoods.

But Grayson didn’t see a troubled little girl when he looked at his daughter, he saw someone strong, a fighter, a hunter.

With many disagreements and arguments, Miranda demanded that neither Y/n or Elena and Jeremy would ever be faced with the supernatural life as long as they were alive.

Grayson however didn’t listen. When Miranda took Elena out and Jeremy was at a friends, he would bring Y/n back to the vampires.

He showed her brain scans of a vampires brain vs a humans brain. He showed her a sociopaths and a psychopaths. He taught her what they had learnt, how a vampire thinks. How it behaves and why. He had her taking multiple self defence classes a week as well as personal training where she was allowed to used weapons, stakes.

On her 14th birthday, when everyone was getting ready for bed, Grayson came back into her room and gave her a box. Inside the box was a dagger, a very special dagger. One she had seen drawings of, heard stories of. And with it came the promise that one day she would get to use it.

Y/n was given weekly lessons on vampire history, all the way back to the originals.

By the age of 16 she was searching for them. For him. She wanted to see the one and only Niklaus Mikaelson. Supposedly the most ruthless, most dangerous and most powerful creature to walk the planet? The one who was supposed to kill her very very own sister.

Grayson didn’t approve of her wanting to seek him. He agreed with almost everything she did but not that. He couldn’t risk Klaus. Y/n could fight off a vampire, she was even able to kill a ripper while it was in a frenzy, but an original hybrid? At 16? He couldn’t guarantee that.

So she left in the night. She was gone four full days and nights before she returned. Miranda was in tears and begged her to never leave them again. Elena was angry and Jeremy felt betrayed. But Grayson could tell that Y/n had exactly what she wanted. She knew what Klaus Mikaelson looked like.

And when she placed a photograph of the beasts face on the table beside his glass, he knew he had successfully created a true vampire hunter.

Y/n had boards drawn, hidden from her siblings and mother and only accessible to herself. They held the locations of vampire nests, werewolf packs and witch covens all over the US. She began to form connections with witches. Shiela Bennet, Grams, was aware of Y/n’s involvement and although she wanted nothing more than to stay out of vampire business, she knew Y/n was in too deep to back out and she would protect that girl. She helped her get in touch with other witches, warned her of the witch trials that took place, where a hundred spirits would support her. In return Y/n promised to protect Bonnie, to never take advantage of her and to try her best to keep her away from vampires.

Everything was smooth for a while until that tragic night. One slip in the road and the car was in the water. Y/n had kicked and punched with everything in her to break the windows open, to save Elena, her mother and her father. But she watched as the life drained from their eyes, she watched as Elena tried to tell her how much she loved her. And then, in what she thought would be her last moment, she saw a figure force the door open with a supernatural strength. A vampire, Stefan Salvatore, saved both girls that night.

Y/n didn’t know what to think.

She understood that maybe he saved Elena because of the doppelgänger history that she had learnt of over the years. But she never understood why he would save her too.

Y/n had searched on Stefan before, the ripper. To say she was disgusted was an understatement, but now he was acting as though he was nothing more than a bunny muncher? Lies. There was darkness within him, waiting to be let free. He would kill them all. She was sure of it.

So sure that she broke into his house, only to find his brother Damon already there nursing a glass of bourbon. She observed the two brothers as they through each other from the window and hissed like feral cats. Like a mountain lion.

Damon didn’t even bother to hide his darkness, he was a monster in her eyes. Clear as the moon amongst the stars.

But before she could get her hands on the right stake, Grams was at her door

“Y/n, child, you mustn’t” she warned and Y/n frowned

“I will not have two vampires in our town, ruining my family.” She snapped back and Shiela shook her head

“Child, please” she begged “you have to trust me, trust me that you will need them” she whispered urgently

“Why would anyone need a vampire?” She sneered and Grams grabbed her hand

“Just believe” she uttered “they will not touch you, I can guarantee that not a hair on your head-“

“I don’t care if they hurt me, they will hurt Elena- Jeremy- Jenna-“ she listed, taking a pause before looking Grams in the eye “they will destroy Bonnie”

“You know I wouldn’t put her in danger, they will come and go. The older one of here for one thing, once he has it he will leave and the younger is nothing more than a nuisance” she tried to encourage but Y/n only shook her head

“You know that would be the easiest thing to believe. But they are not made to make friends, they are not here because they feel anything other than hunger. Hunger for blood and hunger for power. Your power, Bonnie’s power.” She threatened

“Y/n, you must trust me just this once. We will rid ourselves of these demons but we must do it right so that we do not become the monsters we fear”

And so with much reluctance, Y/n waited and watched.

She didn’t reveal any of her intentions, she just stayed quiet.

Even when the vampires escaped the tomb, she didn’t make herself known. When Grams died it broke something inside Y/n but it also made her stronger, she knew she had to protect her family, the Gilbert’s, the Bennett’s.

Not even the council knew she was in on it all. Grayson never told a soul outside of the Augustine community so that Miranda never found out. She helped of course, but at the end of the day when she watched Stefan and Elena beg for Bonnie to let them save Damon…Y/n just couldn’t decide where she stood. In that moment she froze, she watched Bonnie Bennet help a vampire and it confused her beyond belief.

And she witnessed it time and time again.

How could this happen? How could everyone in that godforsaken town so easily submit to those animals?

It was Damon who finally caught onto Y/n, noticing the pure disgust on her face when a vampire entered the room. The way she looked at Caroline after she turned, the inner battle she faced when Caroline cried like a child and begged Y/n to tell her everything would be okay.

He eavesdropped on Y/n’s conversation with Caroline’s mother, Liz. It was after Mason had outed the Salvatores and they were waiting for the vervain to leave her system.

“She isn’t my daughter anymore Y/n” she whispered and Y/n just stared back at the wall

“No?” She questioned slightly

“She’s a monster- my little girl is…my little girl is gone” she uttered, tears brimming in her eyes and Y/n’s thoughts stirred

“Gone” she repeated “it’s just a monster…dressed as Caroline?” She mused and Liz let out a sob

“How could this happen? They killed my baby” she cried over and over but Y/n remained emotionless. She wasn’t expecting Damon to be back yet, she wasn’t aware of the way he looked at her. The tilt of his head and the narrowing of his eyes. The shock he felt when he heard the question slip from her mouth

“Will you kill her?”

Liz looked up at Y/n, horrified to an extent as she slowly shook her head “I couldn’t…” she breathed and Y/n nodded in understanding

“Would you…would you have someone else kill her?” She asked quietly and Liz sat up a little straighter, looking at Y/n almost quizzically

“I…don’t know” she whispered “should I?”

That was the biggest question Y/n had. Where was the line drawn? The line between right and wrong, the line between human and monster.

Silence hung over them and Damon watched as Y/n pondered the idea, he could see the way her eyes glistened as she thought over the idea of tearing Caroline’s heart out and then he saw the guilt settle in and the confusion take over again.

“Maybe” she mumbled “maybe Caroline is truly gone. Maybe now she is just a hollow shell of who she is supposed to be and a violent, vicious animal” she stated unfazed “but then what if she’s still your baby girl? What if she’s everything she was and more? What if she’s…better” she whispered, a glint in her eye.

Liz couldn’t give and answer, neither of them could. Neither of them ever would.

By the time Y/n left, Liz was almost asleep.

Damon seized Y/n’s arm as she walked toward the front door and attempted to pin her to the wall only to be knocked off his feet and kicked straight in the gut. His hand automatically grabbed ahold of her ankle and twisted but nothing more than a grunt left her as she grabbed something, a glass, and smashed it against the side of his head. He let out a growl and lunged for her throat but her hand was in his chest in seconds. They both stayed completely still as she held is heart still inside his body, his fangs on display and pain clear in his expression.

A silent stare down happened before Y/n squeezed at his heart and forced a surrender out of him. Once she let go they both crawled away from the other and sat on the floor, facing the other with a contemplating look.

Eventually he spoke, “what are you?” He questioned and she scoffed

“Human” she stated as though he were stupid

“It isn’t human instinct to rip someone’s heart out” he raised a brow and she sighed

“Well maybe not every human but when we have things like you living in our town-“

“Things like me?” He laughed “oh you really aren’t who I thought you were” he grinned a grin of disbelief and stared up at the ceiling. “You think all vampires are monsters?” He murmured, glancing to her

“I’m not sure anymore” she mumbled and he hummed, his brows furrowing

“So…me…Stefan and Caroline are the demons and you? You’re a little angel?” He mocks and she rolls her eyes

“Nobody said or implied that” she sighed and he squinted his eyes

“So then what?”

“I don’t know.” She stated, angrier.

The both went quiet for a moment until Stefan walked in. His eyes were wide and confused. Both Damon and Y/n looked to each other, a look that said they needed to keep this quiet.

“What the-“

“Caroline thought I was gonna hurt Liz, she threatened me by grabbing my heart” Damon lied, a sarcastic smirk on his face which made the situation much more believable. “Y/n stayed to watch Liz, didn’t you?” He glared and she nodded

“Yeah, course, anything to help” she smiled and Stefan slowly nodded. Something wasn’t right but he knew he shouldn’t ask.

And from there stemmed an odd and twisted friendship.

Damon liked to purposefully annoy Y/n, see what made her angry enough to the point where she would hurt him. He wanted to know why she was so strongly against vampires. He wanted to know where she went when she disappeared.

Because disappearing wasn’t uncommon for Y/n, since those days when she hunted down Klaus Mikaelson. The beast who was supposed to be impossible to find but clearly wasn’t trying very hard to hide. Since then she would disappear for a week every couple of months, release her built up anger and hatred for the supernatural by going to a vampire nest and seeing how many she could take on at a time.

Between stakes, wooden bullets and enchanted blades she did very well.

She would return, any wounds wrapped in bandages and nobody would ask, Elena and Jeremy had come accustomed to it. They would hug her, thank her for coming back in one piece and she would promise to never leave without coming back.

Damon however would dance circles around her: “where were you?” “Why do you smell of blood” “what did you do?”

One day she snapped at him and told him she killing of leeches like him. She proceeded to stake him through the stomach and leave him on floor before going up to bed.

That was how Stefan found out. He witnessed the scene and very cautiously raised his hands in surrender when she stomped past him on the stairs.

Damon and Stefan had many conversations on it but nothing ever came of them.

Actually a sort of alliance was formed between the three, nobody tells Elena or anyone for that matter that Y/n is a vampire hunter and Y/n will help behind the scenes when needed.

It worked well.

When Elena and Caroline were taken by the wolves, Y/n killed more of those dogs than Stefan Damon combined.

When Elena was kidnapped by Rose and Trevor for Elijah, she had seen it happen and tracked them before anyone else realised they were missing. She waited patiently in the shadows for Elijah to arrive. She already knew so much about him and it was a dream of sorts to see him so close. She had the dagger of course but she wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do. Looking at the situation, his tone and the look in his eyes, he didn’t seem to carry any untoward intentions with Elena and if Y/n were honest she wanted to take Elijah down to Augustine. She wanted to scan the originals brain, test his blood to see if he were different to the others.

But when Elijah continued to smack Trevors head clean off and grab Elena in a painful hold, she couldn’t just stand by. A stake was thrown strain into the top of his spine, temporarily paralysing the original and causing him to let out a sharp cry of pain and anger. Elena turned to face Y/n in shock, confusion and relief. Damon and Stefan moved as soon as Y/n did and tackled Elijah unto the others presumed him dead. Y/n however collected a small sample of his blood before they left.

She returned home with the others, explaining to Elena the best she could about how she got to be who she was. About their father’s secret vampire hunting job, leaving out the Augustine side to the story as she knew Elena would not approve and Damon, Stefan and Caroline would be appalled.

Everything was different from then, Elena seeked more support in Y/n like she used to do when they were younger and Y/n guarded Elena with her life. Even when Elena was determined to sacrifice herself, hand herself over to Klaus, Y/n was there.

Y/n could feel her heart in her throat when Elijah stood in-front of her, two hearts in his hands from the vampires that were here for the doppelgänger. He gave a her a strange looked, confused as to who she was before he noticed the way Elena hid behind her and Damon grabbed at her wrist. He vanished into thin air and Y/n went on edge.

She slept in Elena’s room or had Elena in her own. She dug back through her original’s knowledge and information, pages and pages worth of history and myths. Sketches of Klaus’s face and the daggers. A small figure, hand carved by Klaus himself and made of white oak which she had stolen and kept hidden away. But then she remembered what she had learnt from the witches she had conversed with.

Killing one original would wipe out every vampire of that sireline.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Kill Klaus and the Salvatores, kill Caroline? Her childhood friend? Destroy her bond with her sister and be left alone?

She hid the white oak away and decided on presenting Damon with the mystical dagger and white oak ash. He immediately took to the idea while Stefan was hesitant but after another week of Elijah proving to be nothing but a threat in their eyes, he found himself as close to death as he could be in the cellar of the Salvatore’s.

But then Klaus showed up, we’ll sort of.

He had taken over Alaric and assumed they would all be too stupid to notice.

But Y/n could sense something. And he didn’t like the way she was looking at him, a calculated and curious look. She knew he couldn’t question her, that would be confirming her theory. So she just waited and watched. Klaus couldn’t help but feel a little nervous when she narrowed her eyes and glanced toward Elena.

When he finally revealed himself and attacked the girls in the school, Y/n was already in the cellar and forcing Elijah up the stairs.

“You’re fucked up brother is here, wake the fuck up” she yelled as his fingers slowly twitched to life. She threw blood bags at him, watching him drain them in seconds through coughing and groaning.

Once he came to he tried to have her by the throat only to be smacked back by the invisible force of the doorway. She held the dagger threateningly at him until he calmed down and took a step back to compose himself.

They grabbed Elena ASAP and got to talking.

It was another couple days before she actually saw Klaus in his true form. Y/n had just stepped into the grill, ready to yell at Damon for force feeding her his blood when she noticed the dirty blonde, blue eyed vampire stood with a glass of scotch in his hand and a cruel smirk on his face. She swiftly weaved her way through the grill and to a booth in the corner to watch the interaction.

Klaus finished threatening Damon, walked all the way to the door and paused. He could feel himself being watched, his head turned in her direction, his eyes locked onto hers and his brows pulled together with a hint of confusion. He watched as Damon noticed Y/n and called her name, drawing her attention and beckoning her over. Klaus left with her on his mind.

She was soon forgotten when he completed his ritual, was faced with his brothers betrayal and then set free.

He then left with Stefan, unaware that Y/n knew exactly where they were all of the time. Following them, tracking them, hunting them.

She watched as they moved from the road to motels, to diners to hotels to dodgy alleyways to drain helpless humans, to houses to slaughter petrified people.

And while they slept she would break into their hotel rooms, seeing how long it would take to wake the beast. She rummaged through his duffle bag of clothes and papers. She flipped through his sketch books, seeing what new things he had added since the last time she looked. She made her own copies of his maps, marking the same places as he had to know where he would be going next to find the werewolves. It was amusing to her that the reason he struggled to find them was because she had helped kill a proportion of them over the past few years.

Klaus could always feel like someone was watching him but he wasn’t sure if it was actually there or just his paranoia so he never thought too much of it. She was always hidden when he looked over his shoulder anyway.

What he didn’t know was that sometimes she would slip a concentrated doses of ketamine into his and Stefan’s drinks when he wasn’t looking to ensure he would sleep through the night. What she wasn’t expecting was for him to have a nightmare.

She had been in Klaus’s room, transferring all the data from his phone over to her laptop so she could track is messaged and phone calls when he began muttering. She ignored him and waited for it to load but he began to get louder so she stood up, a little worried he would wake. But when his breathing turned rapid and his mumbled became cries for help in fear she started to understand. He was in the middle of a nightmare and the ketamine refused to let him wake.

Hesitantly she came over to his sleeping form, placing a hand on his shoulder which his shook off.

“Shhh” she hushed quietly, not wanting anyone else in the motel to wake. “It’s okay” she whispered but he wouldn’t shut up. He just wouldn’t stop screaming, begging for the wolves to let go of someone- Henrik.

Y/n pulled the covers off him, leaving him in only his boxers. His skin was covered in sweat as he struggled against his own mind. She gently rubbed her hands over his chest, trying to soothe him with physical touch. She whispered kind words to him as she smoothed her fingers over his skin to his face, petting him gently and calming him back to a more settled sleep. His face turned to press his cheek into her palm and she sighed, relieved.

Carefully she pulled away and grabbed her laptop which now had all of his information. She placed everything back when she found it and left, locking the door and moving into Stefan’s room.

Klaus could faintly remember the feel of hands on his body, such soft skin on his. He could remember her soothing voice as she told him to breath and relax. He could still feel her fingers in his hair when he closed his eyes.

Stefan almost always knew that Y/n had been there, he could always smell her perfume. Plus sometimes she would leave him little notes to let him know she was with him.

What wasn’t planned was for Klaus to actually find Ray. She was torn between staying with Klaus or following Stefan when Stefan promised to get rid of Damon, who was searching for him as he assumed Y/n was glad to be rid of the two monsters.

Y/n only stayed because Stefan had spotted her in the bar and mouthed for her to stay, that he would be back.

So she stayed and observed. Watched as Klaus threw vervain-dipped-darts into the man’s body with a smirk on his face. It was creatures like him that she reminded her of why she killed. Why she was apart of Augustine.

So she ordered a drink for him, had the waiter tell him a girl had gotten payed for it and watched as he grinned, flattered and looked around for her. He didn’t spot her as she hid herself behind the bar, he shrugged anyways and took the drink in one gulp. His eyes went wide instantly as the liquid quite literally burned through his throat, a mixture of vervain and wolvesbane in his system. He angrily looked around for the culprit but she was out the door in seconds and in her car.

Once he came back outside, Stefan was back and Ray was unconscious.

She followed them to the mountains and followed at a safe distance, stakes and wolvesbane grenades ready. She stayed low and far enough away, occasionally climbing into trees to watch as he snapped each wolves neck.

She watched in boredom as he failed, she already knew why he wasn’t successful. The witches had already told her Esther’s plan. The double curse.

Cruel but necessary.

She watched his tantrum and then she watched as they both dragged themselves back down to the car.

Following them to Chicago was a low point for her. She had dozens of cans of red bulls and protein bars in her car and had been listening to the same list of songs for months. Klaus’s messages were dryer than a dessert and Stefan was losing his spark. He was losing what made him special, the reason she began to trust a vampire. He was proving that all vampires were beasts.

Thankfully for Y/n, she had already met Gloria in the past. So when Y/n came into the bar after Klaus and Stefan had left and explained the situation, Gloria was happy to let Y/n stay with her in the apartment above the bar for a few days. Without Klaus’s knowledge of course.

She was also happy to let Y/n sit and watch the security cameras whilst Klaus and Stefan were downstairs. In return Y/n offered Gloria a favour, whether it be an ingredient to a spell or the death of another supernatural. Either way it didn't bother Y/n, she was just as happy to do either. if anything she craved to kill a vampire, it was her release and this trip was nothing but a bore for her so far.

It became slightly more interesting when Klaus woke his sister; Rebekah. watching them whine at each other was somewhat amusing but it also reminded her of Elena and Jeremy. She had never been away from home for more than two weeks and these past few months had been isolating and lonely.

What definitely sparked her attention however was when they began talking of Elena's necklace. She bit at her finger tips as she watched Stefan's dreadful attempt at behaving oblivious and the way Gloria's eyes darkened when she glanced toward him. y/n knew this would not end well. she was 100% certain that Klaus or Rebekah would figure out what was wrong and so she left with a head start.

She had Damon on the phone in minutes, bag packed and on the road.

"They know Elena's alive and by they i mean Klaus and his wacko sister, that's right another crazy original bloodsucker is coming to town! Get Elena, get Bonnie and get out!" she yelled down the phone as she drove way past the limit.

"woah woah woah, what? Y/n is this a joke? I'm not in town!" Damon whisper shouted back, clearly frustrated

"where the fuck are you?" she borderline growled

"I'm.... I'm with Katherine" he sighed, knowing the pissed off expression she would have on her face in that moment

"Well I'm in traffic! So get home, get Elena back ALIVE and then say goodbye to you dick because I'm gonna chop it off!" she screamed down the phone at him before abruptly ending the call and coming to a standstill as dozens of cars in front of her come to a halt. She clicked the radio on only to be told that a crash had happened a few miles ahead of her. Y/n smacked her head against the horn of her car and groaned loudly.

Klaus must've taken a diversion because she returned late into the night, Stefan was home with zero humanity and an angry blonde bitch. klaus was missing again and Elena was crying in her bed. Y/n laid with her until they both fell asleep.

The next morning Y/n, Elena, Jeremy, Caroline and Damon were piled into the Gilbert's kitchen. They figured out Tyler was sired/Y/n told them that it was obvious. Together they agreed that getting Mikael would be a good idea. Y/n didn't want him to kill Klaus, although it would have probably been the best thing for her. However she did want him to scare Klaus away at least for a while.

The problem was getting Rebekah to agree but Y/n already knew just the secret to spill to get her attention. It was pure luck that the creatures from 'the other side' were able to cross the barrier and that mason revealed the symbols. Y/n decided it would be better if Damon thought that Klaus killing his own mother was discovered by him instead of Y/n. And she thought it would be better if Elena spoke to Rebekah over herself. Y/n didn't really want to form any kind of relationship with the originals if they were going to be here any longer. Especially not Rebekah, she was too girly and obnoxious for Y/n.

So she let the plan fall out. She played her part, even let Caroline dress her up for homecoming just to make her happy. Afterall if Mikael did end up killing Klaus then Caroline would die too and Y/n would rather she went out on a high.

Everything was going fine, she even had a conversation with Mikael himself. He was rather impressed with her actually, he could recognise a vampire hunter within miles.

They then went to the gym, got redirected to the Tyler's, weird but whatever. And then Klaus made his appearance, reclaimed homecoming as a wake and effectively ruined everyone's night.

Y/n tried to cruise through the evening, keeping to herself and drinking shitty punch. She was pretty happy with just waiting until Katherine, posing as Elena pulled Y/n aside and let her in on what she and Stefan were gonna do. Well not everything they would do but that they planned to save Klaus because the hybrids would kill Damon. Y/n reluctantly agreed, much to Katherine's surprise if she were honest but she took the win.

Y/n then returned to the 'part' in annoyance and relief, that familiar confusion settling over her as she grabbed a real drink and stood to the side of the crowds.

Unfortunately for her, Klaus had spotted her and taken her loneliness as an invitation to approach her. and what was even more unfortunate was that Stefan was glaring straight at her, warning her not to fuck this up.

So she looked back to Klaus with an awkward smile. She knew her body was tense and she could feel her fingers twitch with the urge to defend herself. His power radiated like heat. She just knew Augustine would kill to have him in their facilities.

"Y/n, isn't it?" Klaus questioned knowingly.

"mhm" she mumbled, unsure how to behave.

"why are you all alone?" he asked, his eyes flicking up and down the length of her body, lingering on her cleavage without shame.

"I don't like people" she stated simply and he let out a chuckle.

"Ah I understand that" he smiled but she shifted a step away from him which he noticed but didn't comment on though his smile did drop, it was common for people to distance themselves from him. "you know things aren't going to end well tonight" he warned, his voice quiet but clear

"I'm aware" she mumbled, glancing to where Tyler was dragging an annoyed Caroline toward the house

"Then you should really make better decisions about who you side with, sweetheart. You're strong, and smart. I could tell that from the first time seeing you, it didn't take you 5 minutes to figure out that I wasn't Alaric" he murmured to her, his tone changing from threatening to proud though his face remained neutral.

She said nothing in response, she didn't know what he wanted her to do so she just stared back at him, watching his jaw clench and unclench as he watched and waited for her to come to some sort of answer. He knew that realistically he wouldn't received one but he hoped that she would be intelligent enough to at least take his words into consideration. Klaus liked her, he liked that she was observant and that she had the common sense that everyone else in the town didn't have, to stay out the way. If he were honest, he would have liked her to have been on his 'team', he imagined that she probably had a lot of untold knowledge just waiting to be put to use.

If he only knew the half of it.

Klaus was too buried in his thoughts to notice how Y/n's eyes focused on someone behind him, Damon, who mouthed that he needed 10 minutes before Mikael to get there and that Klaus needed to be occupied.

Y/n could have smacked him when she gave him a look as if to ask what to do and he acted out a dance scene. Her eyes flicked between Klaus and past his shoulder, and then just as Klaus let out a sigh and took a step back she cleared her throat and mentally stabbed herself

"Dance with me?" she offered, her hand very unwillingly lifting out for him to take. His brows shot up but he accepted with little hesitation.

She bit at her own tongue to keep her expressions at bay. Almost everything in her wanted to shove him off, stab him, stake him, behead him. She could feel the vervain syringe she had brought with her in the hidden pockets of her dress, she so desperately wanted to weaken him, kill him.

But no, instead she had a half vampire/half werewolf with his hand on her waist and the other holding her own. His werewolf side made his touch warm, almost like a human's. Slowly her hand went to his shoulder, lightly touching the expensive material of his suit jacket.

Her eyes found his awaiting blue ones, she didn't like how they seemed so deep, they reminded her of Damons. They were those obvious blue eyes, they could be beautiful some of the time and terrifying other times. They were the sort of eyes you could fall into, the kind you could swim in, the ones you would lose yourself in and never find a way out.

It was for that reason that she looked away from them and instead glanced around, taking in the music and the people. There were so many people, it didn't take a genius to guess that most of them were with Klaus, hybrids. She hoped this would be the last time she would touch him, be this close to him but deep down she knew better.

She could feel him pull her a little closer so that his cologne engulfed her, the scent was rich and her inhale for a second too long. She could sense Klaus's smirk in response but refused to acknowledge it. Hopefully someone would come get him soon.

Until then, however, she was to stay in the arms of the beast.

He wirled and twirled her around, doing whatever he could to entice a smile or a laugh from her. Klaus knew many dances from over the centuries, some slow and some fast. Some much more erotic than others and he took great pleasure and amusement in changing between them until a melodic laugh was buzzing through the air. His arms held her close as he brought them low and high, round and round. He spun her one last time before dipping her. Her breathing calmed and her laughs faded as she because aware of how his body pressed to hers, how his arms supported her and how close his face was to hers. The warm air from his mouth fanned over her face and the words she needed to say got trapped in her throat.

Thankfully a women cleared her throat which gained Klaus's attention.

"What is it, I'm busy?" he huffed as he lifted Y/n to stand by herself. He frowned when her touch left him and she moved away, a look of self disgust scrunching up her pretty face.

"Someone's here for you... he says his names Mikael" She told him, unbothered by his angry tone.

His demeanour changed in a second . That familiar coldness returning, it reminded Y/n of the vampires she'd seen with no humanity though it was a little different. She wasn't sure what was different about it but something was.

Either way she didn't like it.

And so by the time Klaus had turned around to apologise to Y/n for the interruption, she was out of sight. He sighed and shook his head before going to end his father.

Y/n proceeded to go sit in Katherine's car, turning the engine on and the radio as she waited for the inside to heat up. She was patiently waiting for the doppelgänger and Stefan to arrive and as soon as they were in the car, her foot was down and they were speeding into the night.

Ripper Stefan and Katherine Pierce were the two worst vampires for Y/n to be around. She wanted them dead, they deserved to die. She wished Klaus had died to his sireline went too. She really did...until she remembered that Elena would be broken. Family would always be more important than anything else.

So when Katherine and Stefan started talking about a way to get revenge on Klaus, she left. She went home and to bed so that she wasn't on 'the wrong side'.

Y/n didn't want to be on any of their sides. She didn't want to be in support of any supernaturals.

Which is why she hated to admit that she had some sort of weird friendship to Damon Salvatore who had been relentlessly teasing her on what he witnessed at the homecoming.

"Oh you should have seen them Elena, for a moment it was like I was in Spain watching salsa dancing and the next I was back in the 1800s" He laughed and Y/n lobbed a dart at him

"You wanted him distracted" she grumbled and he grinned while Elena rolled her eyes

"There's distracting and there's seducing" Damon chuckled

"Hey! He started the whole-"

"The whole what love?" Klaus's voice sounded from behind the trio. It was cold and sharp like the icy wind of the winter. He didn't appreciate being played with let alone mocked, especially when she had asked him too dance. Whether it were apart of a plan or not, she could have done something else for his attention. Throwing a drink on his would have taken him a good few minutes to rage about before changing his outfit but she chose a dance.

"Nothing" she answered, standing and walking away from them all, over to the farthest point of the bar so that she couldn't here what they were saying. 'No involvement' she would warm herself.

She knew they were talking about Stefan from the defensive stances the pair were taking but she didn't want to know why, not even for a second.

And she hoped and hoped that Klaus would just leave after his little threats but of course he had to hover.

A drink was placed infront of her and a hand spun her round on the bar stool forcing her to face the beast once again. "Afternoon sweetheart, lovely to see you again after our little moment. You could even call it a date" the sarcasm was clear but the words alone made her nose wrinkle up.

"I'd prefer you didn't" she mumbled and he hummed

"well I'd prefer a lot of things so I suppose we're all unhappy. Now, where's Stefan hm? I know you had something to do with last night, I witnessed you talking suspiciously quietly with Katerina." He placed a threatening hand on her upper arm and both Damon and Elena stood from their places, worry on their faces as they saw a darkness swirl inside Y/n's eyes. "Where is Stefan, and where had he put my family?"

Y/n let out a laugh, she couldn't help it.

"He took the originals?" she questioned, covering her mouth as hiccups of laughter threatened to escape. Damon headed over fast, muttering to Elena to get it the car. He quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and let out a nervous chuckle, looking to Y/n with wide eyes but she couldn't stop giggling.

"She's just...going through something right now" He smiled fakely and pulled her out of her seat, holding his own hand over her mouth making her shove him off out of reflex, her voice aggressive as she began to yell

"Get the fuck off you filthy-" she cut herself off when she noticed multiple people staring at her with surprised expressions. Damon simply chuckled and grabbed her elbow, pulling her toward the door

"don't hit me" he whispered quietly as he pushed her through the door and toward the car.

Klaus watched the two in confusion and interest. He certainly hadn't expected her to switch up so fast and he definitely wanted to know what the end of her insult was supposed to be.

His curiosity grew when he went to the Salvatore's to try and see if maybe Stefan was there only to find Damon and Y/n with a supernatural board, pictures and names written with strings running from the to different information.

"God if you and your fucked up brother just pissed off instead of following Elena around like the hungry mosquitoes you are then everything would be sunshine and daisies" Y/n complained and Damon rolled his eyes as he linked Stefan to the originals via some red wool.

"What and you would have carried on hunting and slaughtering vampires while Jeremy, Elena and Jenna would obliviously move on with their lives and eventually Elena would have settled down with good ol' Matt Donovon?" he mocked and Klaus's brows furrowed.

"Sounds better than my life right now" she mumbled and Damon rolled his eyes

"Surely this is every crazy vampire hunters dream?" he questioned "cmon think about it, you're surrounded by the oldest vampires, a famous ripper, hybrids and best of all...you got me?" he grinned and she groaned, dropping onto the couch.

"I know and it just makes me feel murderous all the time" she whined "and gross and contaminated" she gagged and he dramatically huffed.

"Come on, you can attack me" he offered with a playful glint and she let out a mocking 'ha ha'. "hey no come on, how about you get to stab me a few times and I get a shot of your blood?"

"Damon?"

"yes?"

"I would rather rip my own heart out then let a soulless , leech anywhere near my blood" she sneered and he laughed with a clap.

"How did it take me so long to realise you undying hatred for what was it?-my kind?" he raised his brows and she glared at him

"These past few months have done nothing but confirm my every belief. You and everyone like you are monsters" she whispered, enjoying how his expression faltered "unsavable, unloveable-"

"shut up" he uttered, veins appearing under his eyes making her lips curve up

"see? you can't even control yourself"

"says the girl who nearly lost it in the middle of the grill" he quipped before walking out and leaving her alone.

Klaus's mind was spinning with new knowledge. It made sense to him but he still wasn't exactly expecting it. Either way, he would find a way to put this to his advantage.

(Okay I'm going to make this part one and then from here Klaus and Y/n will have more time together and start to fall for one-another. I know this is a little different to my usual stories as I never usually give so much build up/back story but I had a lot of ideas and wanted to share those with you. So thanks for reading and I hope you loo forward to the next part/parts)

[factual-fantasy]

10 Asks! Thank you! :}} 🌱

I assume I'm not, it appears to just be a chest cold 😞

<XD I've heard of whiteboard yeah. But I've never used it. I can just imagine people popping in just to scribble all over everyone else's work. I'll think I'll stick to solo drawing for now-

(Post in question)

XDD Sylvester has a tendency to be rather cursed-

@minnesotamedic186

I don't see why not! :}

(Post in question)

Indeed it is! I made a post talking about his backstory but I can't access my archive atm so I'll do a quick recap-

I don't actually know anything about madness combat. Some friends of mine were really into it and made a bunch of OCs and I wanted to be cool like them 🥺 so I made my own madness OCs based on what little knowledge I had.

His name is Casey. And he lived out in the middle of nowhere Nevada with two of his best friends in this giant armored truck that they built.

At some point they were caught in a burning building disaster, some bandits stole the truck and Casey's friends died in the fire. He wandered the wasteland alone for a few years.. before eventually stumbling upon the bandits camp.

He stormed into the camp and killed everyone, unfortunately his truck was nowhere to be found. He did however find this little girl that had been captured and tied to a tree.

Him and "Stefany" then traveled together for a few years before meeting a scientist named Eric. He had gotten separated from his group and was stranded. I had this idea that the people from the wasteland hate scientists. But Eric begged for help. They made a deal that if they brought this guy back to his lab, that he would give them this valuable thing from the lab. He agreed.

Eric didn't intend to keep his side of the deal. But after a few weeks of traveling together and bonding.. when they got to the lab he stole the thing and gave it to Casey. Getting himself booted off the lab team in the process.

So now the three of them travel together. Eventually Casey gets hurt really bad and the group has to camp out for a bit. While Stef was out looking for food, she saw Casey's truck in the distance. She went and hijacked it, kicking out the two bandits that were in it.

She drove it back to the camp but the bandits followed. There was a stand off between the bandits and Casey. When suddenly..

"..Casey? Is that you?"

The two bandits were Casey's friends he thought he'd lost. There's this tearful reunion, a lot of story telling and explanations.. and now they travel together as a family :)

Oh yeah and at some point Stef gets a (probably) rabid raccoon named kitty, even though there aren't animals in madness combat..? Apparently?? Idk I had barely any world knowledge when I made these characters <XDD

But now that I'm thinking about them.. I should draw them again some time.. 🤔 anyways, thank you for the interest and for the ask! It means a lot to me :}}

(video/link in question)

That's how I'd start probably. Then they'd build sandcastles, dig giant holes for no reason and play in the sea! :}

@couchwow

Sorry, I don't take drawing requests. :/ and considering my state, it's especially something I will not do upon request..

And what are you doing askin me to draw? 🤣 I've seen your work, you're quite the artist yourself! Why not draw it yourself? I know it'd come out great! :D (genuinely)

@astaherussy

I don't think much surprises the Mario Bros anymore. 😅 If they saw a crew of talking pirate cookies they'd just think "well this might as well be happening."

As for a bully on the ship, the crew would not tolerate any of that behavior towards Red. They'd shut that down real quick. ❌

@fallingbones

:DDD Thank you so much!! :}}}

@glitchhayden418

Jimmy's doin fine. And I'll draw what ever I WANT when I finally get over this, thank you very much! >:T ☝️☝️thank you tho :}}

[writing-house-of-m]

It's Jeff

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Talks of experimenting on people/animals

Word count: 1485

Summary: You and Wanda bond with an unlikely new acquaintance

A/N: Hello! To keep my streak alive I have fulfilled this request. To be honest, this was a long time coming because I've been wanting to get an ongoing Jeff series going with Wanda and R. Consider this the first of many for this little group - if you have any ideas for any future parts please send them in! This isn't as good as I'd have liked it to be because this is probably the quickest I've written a fic. Regardless, I hope you like it and share any thoughts you have 🙂

After getting back from a single person two day mission away you now find yourself in the medbay not knowing where else you should have gone.

A check-up was imminent, not for yourself, you were fine, it was for… something else.

Otherwise, normally, you would have gone straight to Wanda to show you were back and safe.

Wanda would understand why. Until you remember the nickname you have for her - 'Wanda the Worrier'.

You mentally shake your head. She'll be fine with this.

Totally fine…

Hopefully.

Currently you are standing beside something you found in what seemed to be a research lab. It wasn't your intention to bring it- him home but the pout and sad eyes he gave you before passing out had you carrying the creature out with you before you knew it.

By now a total of three different types of doctor had looked at him, all as perplexed as the previous.

"I've never seen anything like it," Dr Cho concluded after a few minutes of looking him over, using her pen to push at the fin behind his head. She made her way into the room voluntarily when she overheard some rumors of something that could only be described as vicious with big teeth and claws.

"Jeff," you say, seemingly randomly getting Dr Cho to snap her head up at you quizzically.

"His name, I mean," you pause looking back at the still sleeping shark looking animal on the table. "It's Jeff." Dr Cho then squints her eyes wondering how you would know that. "That's what I've been calling him at least. There was a cage in the room I found him in with a code on it - J344."

Before Dr Cho can speak again, both of your attentions are pulled to the door as Wanda barges into the room, the worry on her face dissipating when she sees that you are okay.

As she makes her way to you, taking your face in her hands while she looks you over she expresses what is on her mind, "I thought you were just getting checked, why are you taking so long? You look fine."

Wordlessly, you look to your side for Wanda to follow your gaze, "I found this little guy."

Wanda gasps at the lump of what she thinks is an animal. She would have thought it was a dead shark if not for the steady rise and fall of his body and the limbs protruding his torso, "What is that?" Her accent peeks out from her sudden reaction.

"I saw something on a clipboard that said 'land-shark'. I guess that explains the legs and how he's able to breathe," you reply. You begin to wonder if he can breathe underwater too. Does he need to be kept in water?

Before anyone can question anything further, the landshark begins to stir. The sound of a whine coming from his direction.

He rolls onto his back, not knowing he has an audience, stretching. When he is done he rolls over so that he lands on his feet, your arm protectively goes around Wanda as you step forward while the other two in the room take a step back alarmed.

"Jeff?" You experiment.

You see his head tilt and hear a confused exclamation before he turns on his feet. When he sees three sets of unfamiliar eyes on him he stumbles two steps back landing on his butt with wide eyes, mouth agape in surprise.

When you see his frightened face you take a slow step forward with your hand out in front of you, speaking slowly, "It's okay, buddy. We're not going to hurt you."

Wanda is gripping onto your arm not wanting you to get closer but you whisper that it is okay before turning your head back to the animal.

Jeff's resolve softens when he realises it is you. The one he saw before he knocked out.

His head tilts again, mouth opening wide in a smile, his tongue falling out of the corner.

You furrow your eyebrows at the action, confused as to why he hasn't pounced or attacked anyone in the room. The closer you get, the more the ladies behind you tense, "I think he can understand us."

Finally, your hand lands on his head. You hear the sighs of relief from behind you. As you rub his smooth skin he vibrates excitedly. You scoff at the reaction, "Aww, you just want a friend, little buddy?" He replies by laying on his back so you can rub his belly making you chuckle. "He's cute."

Apprehensively, the other two occupants move closer to make their own assessments of the little shark wiggling around.

You prompt the witch and the doctor to try if they want to. They giggle too after they hear a long satisfied cry when they take over petting him.

Dr Cho stops after a little while saying she may know someone who specialises in animals and how they might be able to help. She leaves the room after fiddling with her phone to make a call.

When Wanda pulls her hand back, you notice the grin on her face. It grows into a smile when Jeff sits again with his tongue out panting, "You like him," you extend your words teasing her.

"Yes, he is very cute," Wanda smiles, glancing at you. She goes to pet his head this time, her thumb rubbing in circles as she coos at him, asking if he knows how cute he is.

Without Wanda meaning too, she gets a peek into Jeff's mind. Flashes of his history pass in her mind in quick succession.

In the next second you see Jeff frown looking upset. You are about to ask him what is wrong when you hear Wanda speak up from next to you, "Y/n…" she says, sadly with tears in her eyes.

When you see the red dissipate from her natural green you realise what happened. "What did you see?"

Wanda turns her head back to the shark, she moves her hand to scratch beneath his chin to cheer him up.

When she feels him begin to vibrate again she asks if he wants to explore the room, he nods his head and the two of you watch him as Wanda explains with a teary expression. "They experimented on him."

She goes on to talk about different tests and serums several doctors tried on him. All the poking and prodding he went through took Wanda back when she was a prisoner of theirs.

It took a long time to convince Wanda she was a prisoner, and not a volunteer, held by Hydra.

When Dr Cho returns you relay the information to her. She talks about how her contact is busy and they will not be able to come for a few weeks.

"The question remains; What do we do with him?" Dr Cho finishes.

The three of you turn to him, seeing him attack a stethoscope, his paws holding it in place as he chews on the rubber section in the middle.

"We have cages big enough somewhere in storage. I guess I could fish one out," Dr Cho thinks aloud.

"No!" Both you and Wanda say in unison, hearing a 'mrr?' from the side getting the attention of Jeff. When you smile at him he goes back to his previous activity.

You then look at each other and you speak first, "Are you okay with him staying in our room?" Wanda simply nods, eyes welling up again remembering what she saw.

After a bit more small talk with the doctor, you go through a plan of keeping him until at least next week. You confirm with Wanda you will introduce him to the rest of the team in the morning. Once that is all sorted you let Wanda call for Jeff, asking if he would like to see where he will stay for a while.

He nods his head happily then trots over to you.

There is a lot to learn about the little land shark like; what he can eat, if he needs to be regularly exposed to water, how he sleeps but you figure you will take it one step at a time.

While Wanda gets Jeff accustomed to the room you find some spare blankets to set up a corner for his bed.

But when night-time rolls around neither you or Wanda can turn Jeff away from your bed. Before the two of you can even confirm to him that it is okay for him to be settled between you, he is already asleep snoring away.

Looking up in Wanda's direction you see her already smiling at you. You scoff and easily smile back as your hands meet on top of Jeff, intertwining your fingers.

You figure you can remind him where his bed is another time.

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

[dandylovesturtles]

100 Feet and A World Away Lore Post

I said before if I won the first round of the TMNT AU Competition I'd put up a lore post of my separated (kinda) AU called "100 Feet and A World Away," which is really more of a reward for myself because now I get to ramble about my babies.

This is an AU I've been building in my head for some time and do eventually want to write a fic about. When? I do not know I have soooo many things I'm in the middle of right now but! hopefully! eventually!

So for now here's just some lore because I can't contain myself, I have to talk about this eventually haha. Like releasing a pressure valve.

without further ado

100 Feet and A World Away (a separated (kinda) AU) (aka the Shape of Water AU)

cw: dehumanization, child abuse (not by a parental figure), brief dismemberment (caused by Donnie, not TO him)

Backstory

quick note: in this AU the age gap between April and the boys is bigger than in canon because it just made things logistically easier; April is 20 and the boys are their S1 ages (15/14/13)

everything up through Lou Jitsu escaping with the boys from Draxum's lab happens as in canon

a few years later (when the boys are about 5/4/3), Splinter goes out to get supplies, leaving the boys in what he thinks (hopes) is a safe place (he doesn't have a lot of choices). He comes back to find the boys have disappeared.

he won't know what happened to them for 10 years

they were spotted by a human sanitation worker, who called animal control, who were like "what the hell is this" and got a Shady Military-affiliated Corporation involved. The boys are taken to a lab to be studied and, once their sturdiness and combat potential are observed, trained to be used for combat by the US Military.

the boys didn't go quietly, at least not Raph and Donnie, who viciously bit and tried to run; they were shocked and sedated. Leo, who had Mikey, saw this and decided to comply because he didn't want them to hurt his little brother. Mikey was too young to understand what was happening so his reaction was mostly just to cry.

Splinter had told the boys never to talk to humans, and the boys take this to heart, hushing up and never speaking to the humans even once they're taken to the lab. As a result, the humans know they have large brains but still assume they only have the intelligence of an ape at best. They treat them like animals, really the comparison I keep thinking of is the raptors in Jurassic World lol: something scary but with the hopes that they will eventually act like attack dogs.

to be clear revealing they could talk wouldn't have helped them much so it's for the best

the boys are given serial numbers when they arrive at the lab but the scientists call them by numbers as a shorthand based on the order they were processed in:

Mikey is Turtle 1

Leo is Turtle 2

Raph is Turtle 3

Donnie is Turtle 4

because Raph and Donnie acted aggressively, the scientists were afraid they would attack each other as well as Leo and Mikey, so they decided to isolate the two of them. On the flip side, because Leo and Mikey were more docile and Leo kept holding onto Mikey, they decided to keep the two of them together. An experiment in isolation vs socialization

as a result, the boys have not seen each other for the last decade, with the exception of two Incidents that I won't be detailing in this post (gotta keep a few secrets lol)

the boys are put through harsh training in an attempt to "tame" them and train them to attack/kill soldiers as ordered. they're also run through tests to determine things like their mental capacity and problem solving skills. there's no like medical testing/experimentation on them in this AU though it's mostly like if they do bad they get shocked and also the scientists/trainers don't really have compunctions against hitting them or muzzling them.

when not in training they live in their own zoo-like enclosures inside sterile rooms, much like the one in Shape of Water which is part of why the AU is the Shape of Water AU lol

MEANWHILE

April is an aspiring investigative journalist who just saw her first success uncovering some shady dealings in a supposedly non-profit organization

she receives a tip about something strange happening in an otherwise normal lab and testing facility just outside NYC's city limits

she's expecting to find illegal animal testing or bioweapons research

instead she finds Turtle Four

Donnie

has been isolated this whole time and as a result is more than a little feral, but not so much that he can't talk. he just has absolutely no sense of social etiquette (my inspiration is the bit in Rat Flu where he says "Make him say yessssah" and HEY BOY IT'S ME THE PS5-)

also he's still autistic but he hasn't learned to mask at all so he acts in a way the humans find weird and unsettling

thinks the humans around him are all idiots and he's so much smarter and better than them. basically his canon superiority complex has ratcheted up to 100 because he has no respect for these guys at all

makes regular escape attempts so lab security just keeps adding more and more obstacles (like an electric fence around his enclosure and steel doors to the room)

probably could have escaped by now but he always doubles back for his brothers and that's how he always gets caught by The Hunter

not as good with tech as his canon counterpart but only because he hasn't been allowed to read or study anything while he's been stuck here, so he only knows as much as he's pieced together messing with things in his enclosure and observing the humans. he's learned a LOT even this way (which is why he knows he's a genius!) but his thirst for knowledge is immense and he wants to get out so he can read books! break things and put them back together! use the internet!

has built up an entire imagined scenario of how things will be once he finally does break himself and his brothers out of there and I'm sure that everything will go exactly how he's expecting and there will be no hiccups at all :)

no longer has any attachment to the name Donatello and thinks of himself as Turtle Four, though he does remember being called Purple too

thinks their dad has abandoned them and doesn't really have any hope that he's looking for them

has a lot of scars on his body from his many many escape attempts and punishments, but most noticeably a scar along his jaw on the left side of his face

Leo

has been with Mikey this whole time so is still much more socialized, lucid, and "human" acting compared to Donnie

has poured all his energy since coming here into being Mikey's Big Brother and making sure things are safe and comfortable for him, being upbeat and positive for his sake, trying to make him laugh and keep him happy to the best of his ability, and generally just doing his normal canon thing but pushed to 11

this façade is the only thing keeping him going and god help him if it cracks

the scientists realized early on that it's easier to get Leo to comply if they threaten/hurt Mikey so Leo is scared of going out of line and just a big ball of guilt 24/7

due to An Incident he has a scar on the right side of his face that matches Donnie, and he doesn't particularly trust Donnie as a result. wishes he would stop his escape attempts because it makes the scientists cranky and they take it out on him and Mikey

still insists their dad is coming for them, if only to keep Mikey's hopes alive

inwardly pretty sure they're going to die here

is the only one who has seen Raph since their initial separation and refuses to talk about it

I'll Keep These Feelings Inside And Then I'll Die

still fully associates with the name Leo

Mikey

fully aware that Leo's putting on act for his sake, but if being a Big Brother is what he needs to keep going then he'll be the Little Brother he needs

knows it's unhealthy but what are they supposed to do?

feels guilt for being used as leverage against Leo

fascinated by humans even though he knows they hurt him regularly

once he saw a scientist doodling and his mind expanded by 1000%. the scientist drew him eventually and he's wanted so bad to do art ever since

the previous bullet point sounds like it's leading to a wholesome interaction but it is not, I'm sorry I mislead you

not as sure that their dad will save them as he lets Leo think he is; he has faith that their dad loves them and is still looking for them but also thinks Donnie is right that they should be helping themselves so they can get back to him

generally has more faith in their brothers than Leo does

can destroy you but chooses not to

still fully associates with the name Mikey

Raph

has gone full savage; it's a defense mechanism

his memories are still there, but they're so deep in his mind he currently only accesses them as vague feelings and sensations

still knows his family by scent, if not by sight

gentle giant when he's surrounded by Familiar Smells, very very aggressive when surrounded by Unfamiliar Smells

he's so dangerous the scientists don't interact with him much, which doesn't help the situation

thinks of himself as "it," when he thinks of himself at all

uncovering the real Raph would take a safe place and time and patience and he isn't getting any of that here!

April

was just trying to live her life man

dating Sunita but presently bummed that Sunita has rejected her suggestion that they move in together (it's because Sunita hasn't broken the whole "I'm actually a slime monster" news to her yet and isn't sure how, but April doesn't know that so she just thinks Sunita isn't as serious as she is)

when she meets Donnie he scares the absolute shit out of her at first

her first instinct is to get away from this whole mess ASAP, but then she realizes Donnie is just a kid and she can't just leave him in there

then he reveals he has 3 brothers and no he is NOT leaving without them

what has she gotten herself into...

is undoubtedly and irrevocably Big Sis April by the end

Splinter

never once stopped looking

finally found a lead that seemed legit but would need a human to help him get inside

found out about a young intrepid reporter looking for tips........

and that's all I'll say now ;)

The Hunter

basically the evil Robert Muldoon (from Jurassic Park)

I haven't named him yet sorry

his job is to catch the turtles if they escape, and he also participates in their training

fully aware that the turtles are more intelligent than they let on, thinks this just makes them more exciting to hunt

Donnie is basically his archnemesis (having a 14-year-old archnemesis is kind of cringe though bro)

will hurt them and doesn't feel bad about it

is missing a finger thanks to Donnie (I did say this was a Shape of Water inspired AU lol)

This was probably a little thin in places so if you are interested and have questions ask me! Wheeeeeeee~

[starzgaze]

Hai Haii!

Random question: you know the Types of people as Animals?? ie. The black cat, golden retriever, golden cat, black lab, ext.

Okay so what type of person do you think Jinwoo, Thomas Andre, Liu Zhigang and Cha hae in are? (Add any other character too if you want)

Also here's a link to a uquiz that started this decent into madness ahhdbd :

https://uquiz.com/quiz/Hg8xGo?p=3738430

Or you can search -> Are you a Black Cat or a Golden Retriever? By miacathart

(I got Golden Cat as a result btw if your curious.)

Honestly no pressure. You kinda seem like your going through it so I thought this could be a silly thing to cheer you up, even for a moment.

cheers,

✒️ nonnie

HII ✒️ NONNIE and erhrhrh dw about me im just err... going through it TOT but nice to see you again www also you're a golden cat?? so like... orange... right... u and me r twins

anyway yeahh!! i know about that and i think i got like... golden cat or orange cat in some quizzes and i meaan yeah I'm low-key air headed something is in my head and its not my brain nonnie!!

oh I've thought about that i think like wayyy way back i think it's like widely accepted that jinwoo is a black cat and i mean... i also agree but not the fact his whole fashion sense is just black black black but there's symbolism here and there such as black cats are seen as a symbol of death or bad luck is looming over you, mostly negative symbolism or ties with death which is fitting for our shadow monarch

not to mention have you seen those cat videos in the internet? especially the black cat videos where sometimes they're basically liquid and merges with their surroundings if it's reallyyy dark? yeah that's jinwoo can't convince otherwise, also the attitude?? jinwoo is a teeny weeny atleast sassy atleast, it's funny though.

also he fits it over all vibe too, he seems pretty distant at first but once he warms up and garners affection for you he wouldn't leave you alone even if he seems a bit distant.

for thomas I personally think he would be a dog type but not particularly a golden retriever or black lab either, probably a different breed of big dog that's purposely high maintenance and difficult to take care but also fiercly protective and loyal just how he is. probably a great Pyrenees or dogs that's mistakened as a lion or some big animal lmfaoo

he's huge and wild bro!! a bit violent here and there but it was mostly out of survival for him and his guildmates. other than that though i imagine he's a lovable guy like probably really nice to hug and hang around with like a big dog, not to mention he sort of has the attitude of one if you squint.

okay listen to me with zhigang. that man is not any of the listed animals if I'm being fr... zhigang would be a rooster... hear me out

actually not really a rooster only i had some other ideas or for other animals but none of them were mammals and mostly birds soo, he would be a bird. zhigang's personality is PROBABLY extroverted and a bit loud but it's fine because its liu zhigang

he seems to be a morning person to me, being a martial artist enthusiast and all. it's part of his routine to wake up early and drag any unfortunate person to his morning exercise and stretches that is soul crushing from how painful it is. also don't even try to sleep through his first call out to you for the morning exercise, he will become your personal rooster so just you can accompany him.

cha hae-in.... i honestly think she's a white cat just to contrast jinwoo but she's more of an angel to be with in general or I'm just biased to girls... anyway she seems more aloof and quiet compared to an orange cat or any dog breed except for a few probably but to me she's a cat from just how she strut in those panels lmfaoo

she seems to be the type to just space out or listen to you quietly before giving her own advice. hae-in is also elegant like a white cat bro have you seen her move or act? she's so poise and pretty especially when fighting with a sword.

but also she acts like a cat with her quiet... judging eyes or maybe out of the blue truthful words like cats that literally just swats you for no reason, just like how hae-in is with her advice that sometimes seem too blunt at times. (probably a reason why jong-in doesn't let her deal with conferences) but she's a great friend to be with! gentle and kind like a white cat heuughh i love her cutie patootie she's a girls girl

okay last one i talked about this one with some people and I'm sure about jinchul being a dog type but i have some thoughts on what type he would be or what breed. now that I've thought more about it, shiba inu would fit him ya know? intelligent dogs that's known for saving it's owners from danger and calamities just how jinchul save hunters and try to protect them and alsoo sort of has a resemblance to them lmfao

but he also fits being a border collie! that dog breed is known for herding sheep and protecting stuff! the breed is alert, loyal, and intelligent soo yeah i can also see jinchul being this type of dog too lmfaoo but probably an older one too just seeing how low-key tired he is judging from in game dialogue you can see whenever you meet him inside of the lobby

he's protective and attentive so what's not there to love? he's soo pookie I'm gonna squeeze him into a pulp someone stop me

also extra my sister told me she sees jinwoo as a ferret and i mean.. i see it actually and all this animal personality talk made me wanna do a hybrid au with these cutie pies i have ideas running in my head now

[theamityelf]

Uh, I remember you have an AU where Makoto became Hope Tutor for Izuru. Can I asked more detail about it?

Gah, this is my first time doing this I don't know how to ask properly

That's totally fine; you're doing great!

Boy, "hope tutor AU" is definitely what I should have tagged this as, lol. Well, let's see.

First thing is, the AU isn't anime-compliant and might not be compliant with most other supplemental materials, since most of my Danganronpa fan works are based mostly on game canon.

In order for Makoto to have been identified as someone suited to the task of making Izuru come across as more personable and inspiring, he must have earned the faculty's notice in that regard. Which means this could cross over with the debate club AU (seeing as that's a good way for them to have seen him flourish in public speaking), but also it's not all that important to go into when exactly he earned their notice.

I'm thinking Makoto just walks into homeroom one morning and his teacher tells him that the headmaster has asked for him in some other room. He goes to that other room, and a couple of guys in suits are like "Makoto Naegi, the Academy has an important task for you. Should any details of this conversation be told to anyone outside this room, you will face consequences far more severe than expulsion."

Makoto is just like "U-Uh, okay. Are you sure you have the right person for whatever this is?"

They say something like, "Believe me, we're as surprised as you are."

Maybe they have Jin Kirigiri come in to cut the tension, like, "Hey, these guys are pretty intimidating, but really we just need you to help out with this great project we're working on."

And Makoto goes, "Oh, sure, I'd love to help."

And they take him down to the labs- not quite to Kamukura's room, but to a secondary room where Kamukura has also been taken. (Maybe Makoto's blindfolded on the way there.)

He's just left in an almost featureless room to sit across a table from Izuru, who's just Kubrick Staring him through his hair.

"Hi, I'm Makoto Naegi," he says nervously.

Eyes like rubies stare him down.

"They, uh...The guys who brought me here didn't really tell me what I was supposed to be doing. Just that I should come and meet you, and that you would take care of the rest. What's your name? I don't think I've seen you around here, but you look like you're around my age. I wasn't expecting that."

The person seated across from him straightens, raising his chin in a way that almost reminds him of Byakuya, but devoid of any of the fire or ice that usually sits behind Byakuya's eyes. And the stranger still doesn't say anything. (Probably. It would be kind of funny if Izuru went, "What else about my appearance didn't you expect?" and just generally probed at Makoto's words to make him flounder.)

Makoto waits for at least a minute before breaking the silence again, "Sorry, if there's something I'm supposed to be saying or doing, I don't know what it is."

Eventually (either right then or after more false starts), Izuru says, "Makoto Naegi, Ultimate Lucky Student from Hope's Peak's 78th class. You're here so that I can learn you."

"Learn me?"

"Yes. The faculty has assessed that, in terms of general likability and ability to sway people, you're the student who has the most to teach me. Unfortunately, I haven't found anything in your disposition worth emulating in the past few minutes." And actually, I am going to cross this over with the debate club AU, just because I like the idea of Izuru having already been shown footage of Makoto's debate wins before they met. "I've seen the footage of you in debate club. Is this how you are normally?"

"Well, yes. Pretty much."

"That explains why everyone looks surprised when they see you in debate club."

Makoto laughs nervously. "Looks like you've learned me already." Am I allowed to leave now?

"Not yet. Your contradictions are...almost interesting."

I like the idea of the scientists and teachers allotting Izuru an hour or so with Makoto pretty much anytime he wants it, because it means that when his (for lack of a better word) "use" for Makoto goes from pragmatic interest to subjective fascination to just enjoyment of being around him, he'll have people going "Are you sure you still need to talk to Naegi?" And he'll still be saying, "Yes. Bring him here."

And I like the idea that he can do this at pretty much any time, so he can pull Makoto out of any class, lunch, whatever. Maybe one day he's looking at the school's security cameras and sees that Makoto is having a good time alone with Sayaka and he sends for him then, just to separate them. And he wonders why he felt the need to do that, and that's when he realizes that he likes Makoto.

And then it's like, Oh, they were right. Even I like him.

[otterlyfoolish]

Eat Crow

(Zombieman x GN!Reader)

Warnings: Mentioned Human Experimentation, Animal Death, Abandonment, Implied Child Abuse/Neglect, Swearing, Blood & gore (come on this is ZM), self-harm (ZM does some reckless things), there's probably other things in here that I can't think of right now so if you're particularly sensitive maybe you should just avoid this,

Tags: Pining, borderline romance, strangers to friends, maybe lovers (in the future), Reader is starved for any kind of companionship, Unstoppable force & Immovable object, oneshot, angst, comfort (very barely), open-ended ending, so much build-up for a fucking oneshot, not edited so sorry

Word count: 11k

Summary:

Zombieman had what he thought was a simple case: "Find the source of the toxins in the assigned area."

One of his specialities is investigating contaminated or toxic areas - places that only robots or cyborgs could reach, areas where organic matter struggled to make it out alive. Other heroes would be dispatched to a monster infestation, and he would be sent to the local ghost town. This was fine to him - he would describe himself as more of an investigator than a hero anyways. So, in one way, this task was like no other.

In another way, he's never seen a case as peculiar as this. A product of human experimentation, just like him. He's never really had a case like this before. Curiously, they didn't seem to want to admit it. He can't blame them for their decision either - especially not after he found out some reasons why. And it's not like he could have found out the normal way - after all, what's considered poisonous to a dead man?

So, he couldn't quite complete his investigation - at that point, he couldn't really confirm or deny his suspicions. That is until he saw their touch wilt a crow's life within seconds.

...Well, the crow is already dead. You just have to eat it now.

-----

Ao3 Link here, if you prefer reading there!

A/N: I'm mostly writing this to ward off my impulses for the other idea I have for ZM - I can't start another multi chapter fic on him when I've not even finished the other one I'm writing right now... (TBH if I just dedicated my time writing this into that, I might have been able to finish it... Uhhh I just won't think about that)

I've kept this on the drafts so long, but now I've finally vomited it out (I ran it through a spell checker, not even edited) - I hope that it's coherent because I struggle editing so much, and I don't know if I have it in me to make it more articulate than it is... Uhhh story isn't fluid sorry (>>_>>)

But if I used the wrong pronouns for the Reader (anything that's not they/them) please feel free to point it out since it is supposed to be Gender-Neutral!

---

"QUARANTINED AREA AHEAD"

"TOXIC WASTE NEARBY"

"LEAVE NOW"

The danger signs were littered everywhere.

From the very moment he even came near the location - even miles away, he was warned not to approach. As he got closer, the signs and fences only increased in frequency. Just a few caution signs at first, illustrated by the humble exclamation mark. Then the potentially comedic skull and bones - pirates would be overjoyed at the sight of so many of them. And finally the unnerving biohazard symbol appears. He's never liked the look of it - maybe because he doesn't understand what it was actually supposed to be, or maybe it reminded him too much of Dr. Genus' lab - the same symbols were also hung up everywhere, the scientist liked to be organised after all.

The final hurdle was in sight now - a chain-linked fence with barbed wires that had rust collecting on the bright red sign that hung brazenly on the door.

"DANGER: YOUR LIFE IS AT RISK FROM THIS POINT FORWARD"

He nodded at the final warning as if letting the inanimate object know that he acknowledges the danger, then swung his axe against the metal lock, easily snapping it in half. Time must have also wore the lock down, helping the process of decay because it behaved far too flimsy.

If most people showed me as much concern as these signs did, then I would be out of a job.

He pushes on the door, the hinges on the door creak loudly as if it was doing a drum roll for his demise. As he walks through, he's careful to shut the door behind him and lock it with another one - the one he brought in preparation for this. As he does so, he notices that the key for it must have fallen out on the way over. It was his fault for not repairing the hole in his pocket after tearing it from his last brawl.

No way out now I guess...

He takes the cigarette out of his mouth and rubs the cherry on the back of his hand before he drops it on the floor, crushing it with his black boots. Just as quickly as the cigarette left his mouth, another replaces it, the lighter coming up as if joined together with the cigarette. The nicotine was too addicting, he didn't mind the lethal poison that accompanied the chemical potentially affecting his body.

He's been critiqued on his bad habits by a fellow hero before, the smoke was just flat out unhealthy to have near people, so he should stop.

(He puts it nicer than what was actually said - Tatsumaki had gathered the all of the smoke in the room with her powers and stuffed it back into his lungs, hissing out hostile remarks as she did so. The product of a particularly bad day. Apparently she couldn't find any monsters to kill, and that caused her foul mood. It doesn't help that he was probably the closest thing to a monster she found that day.)

Even so, Zombieman couldn't disagree with the comments made, and though he never stopped smoking, the thought always flashed in his mind for the briefest of moments.

But this time he lit it without any guilt of others. This was a completely isolated area, where the air was already considered toxic to all organic matter. What's the harm of adding a little bit more poison in the air?

He dragged a large cloud of smoke out from his lips as he exhaled, almost like a sigh of relief from the long journey. Almost drearily, his eyes followed the grey mist drift through the air before it quickly dissipated into the atmosphere, the very last remnants of it lingered in one spot before fully turning transparent. His red pupils slowly fixated on that spot as he spotted the building he was headed towards. 

...Break over. Back to work.

His arm slung the axe over his shoulder, resting the weight of the metal head in the crook of his neck as he continued his descent to his destination. He walked with calm confidence, not fitting of a man that's entering a toxic waste zone, but that suited him.

The thrill of an investigation was too addicting, he didn't mind about the dangers that had been constantly waved in his direction.

Perhaps the danger even added to the thrill of it.

-----

"Toxic waste land...? Hm." He murmured to himself as the read over the file they sent him. The low clicking of the train wheels was just as faint as his voice as he spoke. Zombieman positioned himself to a quiet corner of the fairly empty train, the folder in front of him messily sprawled out, but in a fairly controlled manner.

He had requested it to be in paper format, call him old-fashioned, but he viewed the information to be more tangible that way. Besides, he often breaks the phone the Hero Association provides him anyways. Once Child Emperor had leaped at the opportunity to make him an 'unbreakable' phone after hearing the staff members talk about how this was the 'fourth one this week', it had a pretty good run, but he still lost it in the end. 

...It makes him feel bad to bother the kid for another one, so he'll just do this until Isamu notices and chucks him another. He'll treat it more carefully this time, he didn't realise just how much shitter the one's he gets from the Hero Association is. Isamu really was a genius, but he didn't want to pressure him too much.

He flips through the information provided, it was choppy. The testimonies didn't seem clear, and there wasn't a lot found by HA. Well, a lack of information never stopped him. His red eyes scanned the pages, picking up what he deemed the most vital snippets of data and committed it to memory. 

"...Laboratory...", "...Mithridate...", "...Antidote...", "...Pancea...", "Dozens died from poisoning", "...Scientists Evacuate...", "...Local Town Falls Sick From Mysterious Illness...", "...Abandoned Area...", "...No Organic matter found in the vicinity..."

He concluded after reading it, there used to be a remote laboratory out this far that was focusing on creating strong antidotes. But it seemed that they weren't able to control it effectively enough, and apparently some sort of sample hadn't been contained properly had caused many of the scientists to die from poisoning. It seems that even though they tried their best to clean the place and dispose of the source, there was still trace amounts lingering and many workers became sick. The entire building was forced to evacuate - and a few years later, apparently some of the people that had lived nearby had to be admitted to the larger general hospitals. It started happening too frequently without any obvious cause and people started moving away. Satellite scans showed that the grass around this place slowly started dying, and bird avoided migrating near the area all together. 

All in all, an typical case for him. He predicts the following days to be somewhat laid back. His only objective was to find what was the source. The implication in that was that he didn't even have to get rid of it, only report back. 

There was something bothering him though. Like when you feel your feet shift a little too much - you're nervous but you don't know why. Or when you felt a pair of eyes watching you, but you couldn't place who in the crowd of people would spend so much time on you. 

Current suspicion: There was something more to this case. 

They could simply send one of their many drones to check out the area, scope out if there's a leak that's causing the increase of toxins detected. But they sent him. 

His first thought: They suspected there was a monster there, and wanted him to kill it. 

He could do that, they often do when they're worried about a particularly dangerous monsters most heroes couldn't defeat without wearing it down massively. But they didn't say anything in the report - they kept it hidden from him. To feign ignorance of the missing piece of the puzzle before even asking him for assistance.

...But why?

He's never shown hesitation to brutalise monsters. It's written in his fucking Encyclopedia page - something Bang had showed him after his disciple had pointed it out to him, and the old man just had to pass on the message, chuckling at the descriptors. Something something about how gore and death followed him or something along those lines. 

...Is it related to Dr. Genus? 

He clenches the paper a little too tightly, crumpling the otherwise pristine pages. The Hero Assocication might have had an inkling to his past. He never talked about it much, but did they find out? He wouldn't put it pass them - staying private in this day and age was getting more and more difficult by the day even if it would do both parties good if they stayed in their own lane. If they did know about his days of being an experimental sample, why were they assigning him to this case?

...Was this their way of turning their cheek the other way? By letting him confront his own past alone?

"...Sir?" He hears the train conductor walk over to him, nervously eyeing him up as the scowl on his face grows deeper at the thought of meeting the Doctor again. "This is the last stop." He hears as he snaps out of his thoughts, tilting his head up to look at the lady. 

"...Thanks."

"...Are you sure about getting off here? There's nothing for a few dozen miles..."

"I'm sure. Thank you." He said, picking up the axe he had placed on the wooden floorboards, but didn't raise it above his head to rest on his shoulder like usual. Instead, he kept the metal head close to the ground, the blade pointed towards him and never her. He didn't want to alarm the lady.

"No, it's fine... I've not seen someone get off at this stop for perhaps a couple years now... It's nice to see people still come here in this little corner of the world - you know there's a forest a hour or so west from here? Beautiful place, you should check it out." She rambled on, the smile on her face causing the corners of her eyes to wrinkle. "Used to go there when I was young, took this same train out. I'm just a little too old for that now."

He nodded politely at her, taking note of the sun spots speckled on her skin. "...You're still younger than me, so there's no need to talk like that."

Besides, it's a privilege to be able to age. I'm sick of looking at the same damned thing everyday.

"Oh, aren't you a charmer..." She laughed, slowly escorting him down over to the train doors. He trotted after her, his boots made a small sound with each step he took. "Don't forget, the next time this train will be here is at eight tonight. Don't be late or you'll have to spend the night camping." She said, only getting a simple nod from him before the doors closed on her.

...A forest? I guess the toxins or whatever hasn't spread that far yet then...

As he walked away, he raised his axe back up and slammed it back on his shoulder, resting it there. Something of an reminder that he's on duty.

He's grown used to the weight of the axe.

-----

The building is fairly large - almost industrial. He could see it as a speck in the distance, but as he approached, he see that it's size wasn't anything much to be scoffed at. Definitely not at big at the ones he's seen at HA, but still, impressive. 

As he approached the laboratory, he could see a... Fully-clad yellow figure running full speed at him. 

Like second nature, he pulled out the guns from his sleeves and swung his axe back down to his midsection, his palms tightly gripping the weapons. It couldn't be a civilian - they would be fatally ill at this point from being this close to the site. 

His blood-coloured eyes scanned the person (or perhaps monster) sprinting up at him. At closer inspection, he could tell that it was a human wearing a hazmat suit.

...Zombieman slowly retracted his desert eagle back into his trench coat and the axe also returned to its last position. There didn't seem like there was an danger yet, more so someone he needs to interrogate. 

...Maybe there's still some people working here without anyone knowing?

They were... waving at him? He raised his thin eyebrow at them, shifting over to a more relaxed stance than before. He waited for them to approach - and as this mysterious figure got closer, he could hear muffled shouting from them as their hand waving in the air got more frantic. He noted that in their other hand, there was a blue gas mask. 

He debated snuffing out his cigarette, but kept it in his mouth. It's not like they would be affected judging by the protection they're already wearing. 

By the time they were close enough to him so that he could hear their words, it didn't matter since they were huffing out their lungs trying to breath in as much air as they could. Sprinting must have been hard - the hazard suit and heavy boots didn't help do them any favours either.

"...Are you alright?" He asked, staring down at him as they doubled over. The sound of their heavy breathing was clear even through the thick suit.

Regardless of their exhausted state, they sluggishly yanked him down to their level and slapped the spare gas mask onto his face. "...uckING STUPID!"

The impact of the plastic against his face caused him to glare at them with squinted eyes as he took the mask. He didn't bother dodging it - it's not like the action was malicious anyways. The force of which the firm plastic wasn't painful enough for him to make a noise, but he still grunted from the shock of their actions. "...What'd you say?" 

They didn't respond, seeming satisfied with the fact he taken the respirator from them already and just crumpled back over on their form. He gave them a moment to gather their breath. "...Don't you know that this is a toxic area...? What the hell are you doing without any equipment...?"

He crouches down to their level, seeing as they were still catching their breath and he couldn't quite hear between their suit and the small distance. "I don't need it. What are you doing here?"

They tilted their head over to him, seeing that he had taken the blue mask off and just hung it around his neck by the strap. "...I live here."

Live? Not work?

"...Then don't you know that this is a toxic area?" He parroted the question back to them, trying to look into their eyes, or face, only to see that the glass they see out of is a reflective surface. Only his red eyes locked on with his own. His

"The inside of my house is safe, when I go out I wear this." There's something about the way in which they said it which made him think that they had rolled their eyes at him as they spoke. 

"House?" He brushed off their attitude quickly, he didn't really care about it to begin with anyways, "what house?" 

"Why would I tell a stranger where I live?" They snapped back, getting back up on their feet. Zombieman quickly followed suit. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"I'm a Hero. I've been sent here to find the source of the poison in this area." As if on cue, their head tilted at him in disbelief. He goes on to answer further, hoping it would dispel any more of their suspicion. "...You can call me Zombieman."

He could tell even without any facial expressions to help him nothing he said was convincing. "...Alright, 'Hero Zombieman'... If you've been sent here to investigate, then why didn't they send you off with any equipment with you? We both know that this isn't the safest place to be."

A reasonable question, he supposes. He just hopes that the answer he gives them is just as logical in their eyes. "I can't die - hence my name."

"...Can't die?" They repeated slowly, taking a few steps back from him. He could see the distrust in their body language, and he wanted to fill the gap quickly - they probably had a lot of information on this area he didn't. "...Don't lie to me, everything dies."

He nodded at them, trying to indicate that he acknowledges their suspicion then pulled his gun back out. They're not given much time to react to it, as the muzzle was pointed at his temple, his finger on the trigger. "I'll prove it."

Just as he pulled the trigger ever so slightly, he notices in that split second they've close the distance between them instantly. Their hands shooting out to tear the weapon out of his hands-

Only for him to tilt it ever so slightly upwards from its original position in surprise - instead of the bullet going through his skull at a straight line, it was just angled slightly differently, shooting through the top of his skull. 

They froze up at the sight - the pink of the bone and the pink of his brains, the smell of blood was thick and metallic. They could smell it even through their suit, and nothing about their protection could block the sight of his hand. Limp. In your grasp.

Zombieman examined at them from the corner of his eyes, feeling that their hands was trembling slightly through the thick gloves they wore. It was from either the sight of his skull being blown open or the fact they thought he was now dead.

...I wanted to close the gap between us, but not physically...

"...Proof enough?" He asks, moving his head to face them. They practically leaped back, even in the chunky boots and protective gear they were wearing, they found themselves a couple feet even further than before.

...Was that too much?

No, I only shot myself. That's nothing. 

...Am I too numb to gore compared to the average person?

"...Yeah. Yeah. I believe you." They say, their voice shaking as they watched the hole slowly fill itself back up again. First the grey matter in the brain, then the pink plating of the skull, and finally his pale skin and dark hair. It was as if nothing had ever happened - the only proof that they had was the dark streaks of blood that ran down his temple and the small splatters of flesh that had ended up on them. They did their best to quickly compose themselves."...So... Uhm... Do- do you need anything...?"

He nodded, feeling a twinge of guilt at their reaction. Yeah, it was too much to witness. Next time, he'll just cut his hand off or something. "Could you get me into that laboratory? I want to inspect it to see if I can find anything inside."

"...I can do that, follow me." They agreed, probably still in shock and stiffly placed one foot in front of the other, their hands having the same nature of movement - almost mechanically. 

He was quiet for a minute, looking around the building. He wanted to ask more questions about them, but he had a feeling he needed to build back some sort of foundation of trust again if he wanted any good answers. Short, snippy ones aren't bad, but more detail is better this time.

"...What's your name?" He starts off simple.  

They slowly moved their head over in his direction, stopping in their tracks. He briefly thinks for a moment that asking for that was too soon, but when he hears your name slowly uttered from your lips the thought is gone. He could sense the uncertainty of his character coming off in waves, but you still chose to tell him. 

He nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

"...And I don't think I'll be able to forget yours." He could hear you mumble faintly as you took long strides over to the entrance door. "Mr. 'Can't die'..."

...I don't mind if you were able to find a way to change that name of mine.

He didn't correct your words, and accepted his newfound alias. "How come you have access to the lab?"

It took you a while to respond, at first he just thought you didn't hear him or maybe you were busy fiddling with the keypad on the door, but it seems that you were considering telling him or not.

...Zombieman lowered his axe, resting it at his side. He may still be on duty, and it's not even the weapon he used to shoot himself, but it's not like he needed it this very moment. And if it helped soothe your worries even a little, then it will have been worth it.

When you get the door open, you turn back around to face him. He still can't see your eyes, but he could feel yours staring at him - cautiously inspecting him and his intentions before opening the door. "...This is where I live." You answered him.

...Huh, it worked.

He hummed appreciatively through his cigarette, reaching up and holding the door open for you. You paused your movements for a moment and nodded back, "...Thanks."

"No problem." He replied back, then followed after you, shutting the door after himself. When he walks in, he realises that the entrance is double sealed - one door after another to ensure that as little toxic gas leaves or enters. "So, you live in a lab...?" He says, practically repeating already known information in the hopes you'll slip out a little more data for him to piece together.

"Mhm. There's lab equipment everywhere." You say, though not intentional, your tone was pretty dismissive. It makes him wonder if he should play the long game or the short game.

He sticks to the former - besides, if he's really pressed up for time for whatever reasons, he can resort to more... forceful methods.

You open the other door, pressing even more buttons on the security system before beckoning him to follow through, holding the door open for him. "Quick - if you're there for too long, the doors will automatically shut and won't open without a special password."

"Oh." He nodded, the sounds of his boots increasing before the heavy door clicked securely shut. The two of you were now locked in together - he wonders if you're more anxious than him about the situation. One hand hand, he could be locked in with a mad scientist and be subjected to experimentation once again. On the other hand, he was a man that doesn't exactly have any indication of sane mental health paired with the fact he has a fair variety of weapons on his person ready to go any moment.

...They should be more scared than me.

"Do you work here?" He asks, trying to place down the foundations of trust.

"Yeah...?" You say, your thick gloves grabbing the other and pulling them off. "I'm... something of a researcher. Or something along those lines." The way you said it could be viewed as avoidant, or simply distracted - judging by the way your now exposed hands was fiddling with the hazard suit, taking it off and throwing them into a large plastic container off to the side of the door. Presumably to be disinfected and reused. "I've just been told to stay here until the toxins reach an acceptable level. Then I'm free to leave."

He narrowed his eyes at you, taking mental notes on your choice of words and actions. It was entirely unconscious behaviour, akin to second nature - Zombieman was already crafting a mental corkboard of everything he knew about this place and you. You took the final piece off, your large headpiece, finally revealing your face to him.

His eyes fixated on you, his red irises re-examined your figure, taking new mental notes to add to his corkboard. His eyes found their way following a sweat drop that traced the side of your face, a small trail of liquid trailed down your facial features before the head of it became too small to follow anymore. He briefly wondered it that sweat was a shade or two darker than it was supposed to be, but concluded that it was just the lighting of the room. "...Hot in that thing, huh?"

"...Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess I'm not really used to it..." You say, not noticing him observing you.

...Not used to the hazmat suit, I don't recognise them from the list of scientists provided, and they're uncertain about their role.

Current thoughts: You've turned out more suspicious than he thought.

-----

Nervously, your eyes kept glancing over to him, drinking in every detail of him that you could with each glance. At first, you thought it was the glass of your suit playing tricks on your vision when you spotted his red eyes, but even when you took your headpiece off and looked over him again, they were still red.

Blood red, to be more specific, especially now that you had a very, very recent reminder of the colour of blood.

His skin was almost porcelain white, but there was something of a grey undertone to it. His hair was a ink black and his getup didn't have a single drop of colour - the only thing you could even perhaps suggest that had a hue was the buckles of his (many) belts strung tightly against his chest. Everything combined, this monochrome sense of fashion contrasted with his striking red eyes and dark eye bags made it incredibly easy for you to focus on his face. Basically a sinkhole of attention.

Zombieman... From that name, you'd expect more decay, but...

...He's handsome. You concluded, as you kept finding your eyes shifting over to him as you showed him about the place. But he's also scary. Why would he shoot himself to prove a point...?

"Are you gonna show me around...?" He asked after what must have been you staring a little too long at him.

"Sorry." You say, turning your head away from him. Despite looking at him so carefully, you couldn't pick up on his mild discomfort. You try to remedy the situation, giving a honest reason to your actions should suffice, right? "...I was just thinking that you're very visually appealing."

The answer seems to shock him, or at the very least, throw him off his feet a little. His eyes widened at your response before he tilting his face slightly to his right clearing his throat into the sleeve of his trench coat. His left hand seemed to tighten his grip around his axe. "...Thank you."

You think that you shouldn't have said that - was he uncomfortable? You don't really have much of a chance to interact with people, and it's leaves you wondering your next move.

...Should I apologise? What did I do wrong? Is there such thing as too honest?

On quick glance back up at him, tells you that if he did feel uncomfortable by you, he's recovered. He's leaning against the plain white walls with his axe by his side. You note the fact he still hasn't raised it back onto his shoulder - whatever the reason for this, it somewhat made you feel more relaxed.

"...Uh, I'll take you around the first floor first...? It's mostly just like laboratory equipment, but it might help you?" You say, trying to gauge his reaction.

He simply nodded, and as you took your first step, so did he. You glanced back to see that he was a step or two closer behind you than before as you walked down the large white hallways.

...I hope that he leaves soon.

Just before you stepped through into another set of doors, there was a few equipment littered on the walls of the lab. Coats, gloves, masks. Though, you've used and ruined most of them at this point.

Please, please, leave.

You watched him place down the gas mask you had given him earlier alongside the other ones lined up on the wall for anyone to take. The others were faulty at this point, the one he put back down was one of the only ones that still functioned at this point.

It's not safe here, even for you.

-----

"...That thing..." You say, gesturing to him, your index finger waved over his face a couple times. "...smells terrible. Do you need it or something?"

He raised one eyebrow at you, wondering if his breath smelt for a moment before realising what you were saying. "...My cigarette?" He asked, taking it out of his mouth, bringing it a little closer to you to confirm your request. Your lips tightened and your eyebrows narrowed at the distance decreasing. So it is. "I suppose that I don't need it."

"Yeah, that... cigarette." You say, slowly rolling the word out on your tongue as you took a step back. "If you don't need it, can you get rid of it? There's vents all over the place, but I'm worried that smell will linger if you keep using it."

"...Sure, do you have an ash tray or something of that kind?" He asked, rubbing the lit part of the cigarette over the back of his hand. The burning sensation felt like it was shorter each time - the initial burn from the very first time he put out his smoke was almost exciting to feel. Now, it feels like pointless rebellion.

You looked at him, blinking. It took you a second to respond to him, trying to think of what would be suitable. Your eyes glanced around the room, landing on the shelf of conical flasks, before the blanket hung up on the wall that's placed there in case of a fire emergency.

...He thinks he likes the way your features scrunched up as you rapidly skimmed through all of the available items. You looked like you were in in deep thought over something rather minor - maybe he likes the way you took him so seriously, or was it the way you were so confident you could find a replacement within the confines of the room within seconds?

It didn't take you too long to find something. "...There's sand bins. Will that do?"

"Mhm." He nodded, and you walked over to the bucket filled with sand - presumably, it was to put out fires, but it could also be repurposed for a more crude use. Your hands wrapped around the bucket's handle, planning to bring it over to him, but he simply just followed after you and smothered the cherry into the sand. There was no chance of it catching fire now.

You nodded at him, then pointed at another table with glass equipment on top, giving a rather detail explanation to him as you picked up different parts - he was barely listening, his mind quickly filing away this odd morsel of information about you as he got back to his actual work.

...Have they never seen a cigarette before?

I mean, public smoking places are less and less common nowadays, but still...

He thought your behaviour was strange, but it'd be rude to point out. He let you continue guiding him around the lab. Besides, if you felt comfortable enough to tell him to stop smoking, then you must be somewhat amicable towards giving him more intel.

-----

The two of you finish the tour of the first floor, and you glanced over to the clock on the wall. "...I'm gonna head off to lunch. You can join if you want." You say, walking away from him and into another room. He peered in - seems like a break room for staff. He debated joining you, or wandering off on his own to investigate.

The former wins as he argues that he could just wander about later. It didn't seem like you were rushing about to get him to leave quickly anyways. If anything, he'd say you enjoyed the company judging by how he often caught you waiting for him to catch up when he spotted something of interest. Or when you stared at him intently when he spoke, taking his questions to heart.

...Or it could be for another reason. Tons of people flocked to Amai Mask for one big reason, Zombieman just... never suspected he'd be on the receiving end of the same kind of attention.

...'Visually appealing.' What is that supposed to mean?

As he enters the break room, he spots you waiting patiently by the microwave. There's a rather large pile of delivery boxes collected in the corner of the room. Perhaps one would feel shame at a 'guest' of sorts seeing the mess, but you didn't seem to care much. Upon noticing him, you opened the microwave door and added another packet of food.

I guess I'm eating too now.

He stands next to you, pretending to also wait for lunch, but in reality he just stared at you from the corner of his eyes. It doesn't take you long to return the action, your pupils also shifting over to his direction.

The two of you share eye contact until you turn away and go back to staring at the packets of food spinning around in the microwave. He lets out something of a cough, then goes to check his phone, (It's not like the could just whip out the files he had brought with him right in front of you anyways), maybe you were on the lists of scientists, and he just doesn't remember you that well.

Your eyes are casted away from your lunch, catching the glimpse of movement in the corner of your eyes. "...Whoa, you have a real nice phone..."

He tilts his head up at you, then turns the screen off before giving his device a quick spin for you to see if you wanted. You nodded at this, as if you were some sort of phone collector inspecting the goods before buying.

"No," he shakes his head, giving it a closer inspection as he spun it despite already giving it a verdict. "It can't even withstand falling off a skyscraper."

"...I don't think that's a good way to measure it." You say, a ghost of a smile on your lips. "Here." You fiddled with your pockets, before pulling out what he thinks is a brick at first as you carelessly held it out to him. "Here's one I found a couple years ago. Under my Dad's desk."

"...Maybe I do have a nice phone." He says, staring down at the device as you let out a small laugh out at him.

The phone was pretty old.

The equipment in the lab also looks quite old, but I don't know enough about it to know if it's actually old, or if it's just old compared to Isamu's hoard of equipment.

It seems like you had enough money to deliver food to yourself, but not enough to fund your research. You probably aren't being paid.

Probably because you aren't a real researcher.

But his conclusion just brings more questions than answers - why would you stay out here if you aren't getting paid well? You've been tasked with staying here until the toxins have subsided, but why would you do that? Money clearly wasn't the reason - maybe it was something more personal. His eyes meandered across the room until it landed.

Maybe it was your Dad.

"...Say, your dad worked here too?" He asks, slowly reaching out to take the phone from you, feigning fake interest in the device in your hands. His cold fingers brushed against your skin making your breath hitch - practically throwing the phone away from yourself.

He caught it before it collided against the surface of the table, but he wasn't even looking at the phone anymore as his eyes shifted over to you, examining your body language quickly to figure out what caused that reaction from you.

You held one hand in the other, your eyes fixated on him, one foot back and holding your breath as if you were waiting for one of you to drop on the floor. The two of you shared a look, the room sinking into a tense quietness. Just as he was about to speak, apologise, anything that felt right to say, you babbled something to dispel the tension.

"O-Oh! Yeah!" You exclaimed, slowly taking your footing back to it's original position. He didn't care so much about the answer anymore after your reaction but still, he listened. "My mother did too. Uh, both of them worked together. H-here."

"Huh..." He nodded, accepting the fact the two of you will skip past that moment. He felt his hand tingle from where your skin touched it - it was almost the same sensation as the one he used to get when pressing the lit part of the cigarette against his skin. Burning, hot. Maybe painful to a normal person but an fleetingly exciting moment to him. "And then you started working here too?"

"...Uh, yeah. Been here for a long time." You say, the words slow to come out. Your eyes drifted away from him and your hand slowly reached back over to the phone he had caught and placed on the table before retracting it back into your pockets. "Actually, I've been here... for a really long time."

He nodded, "how long?"

You didn't answer him at first, only tilted your face over to his direction. You looked... lost. Like you weren't sure what you were doing, or what's even going on. A sense of distant confusion with a vague or faraway goal. "I... don't know."

He frowned. You didn't seem like you were bad-intentioned, but you also seemed like a vital part of this mystery. "How come?"

You pursed your lips, turning away from him again before the microwave went off. The beeps echoed through the silence of the lunch room.

"...Lunch is ready." You say, opening the door of it. "You don't have any allergies do you?"

"No, but even if I did," he made some sort of general motion towards himself. You made a 'Ohh' sound. Some colour returned to your face that he didn't quite realise had left it.

...They don't know? How is that possible?

Also, their parents worked here, and now they do as well. They're most likely staying here not out of choice - are they trapped here? Threatened to stay? Guilt? You couldn't pay most people to stay in such a dangerous area.

"I've just been told to stay here until the toxins reach an acceptable level. Then I'm free to leave."

...What kind of messed up family business is this?

Zombieman could only see the rabbit hole grow deeper the longer he looked in - yet he'll jump head first anyways. He was never much for self preservation.

That same trait comes the thought: if he touches your hand again will it burn the same thrilling way?

-----

After you showed him around the whole lab, he concluded that there was nothing there was still working - and even if there was, it wasn't anything large-scale enough to cause such a large waste area. In fact, the only experiment he saw was you spitting into a test tube and then running it through a machine. Something to do with how it can detect what kinds of chemicals are inside it.

But that machine was clearly broken since he recognised many of the listed items inside to be toxic. You had explained that you had fixed it up after finding it in the storage room, but since that room wasn't well maintained, there was a chance that the toxic air was just stuck inside it now. At least, that's the conclusion you came to, and he didn't see a reason to deny it.

Apart from that, it was mostly you just explaining what each room was and the equipment inside. The tour was over quicker than he thought - but there truly wasn't anything noteworthy. The past researchers had taken all of the papers with them, so he couldn't snoop around to see if there was any information he was missing. It didn't seem like you were trying to hide anything either. You've always seemed like you were honest - perhaps a little apprehensive, but most of that was mostly because, well, he was a stranger in your home.

"That's all... I think I'll get going to bed soon, do you need anything or..."

"No, that's all." He said. "I think I'll get going."

"...At this time?" You ask, seeing him walk out to the door, trying to open it. His hands pressed randomly against the wall's buttons. Quickly, you walked over to him. "Are you going home?"

"I've missed the train, so I can't really go back, but I've been given a recommendation to visit a forest." He says, watching you as you brushed his hands aside to help him open the sealed doors. It burned like before, "I think I'll go check it out," he thinks he wants to feel it again."...Then I'll probably come back with a fresh mind."

"...Seriously?" You asked, pulling the door open for him. "You're gonna spend the nights in the woods?"

"Well, it takes a while to walk over. By the time I get there, it might be sunrise." He says, walking through the first set of doors. Your eyes nervously switched between him and the door, unsure if he was really going to walk back out into the toxic wasteland. "Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow. Or if I find the source of the poison, this will be the last you'll be seeing me."

"...Yeah. That's... fine." You nodded, now trotting over to him, hand hovering over the keypad to let him out. The inner set of doors shut tightly behind you, a slight hissing sound as the air was compressed in the room, ensuring that none of the toxins got in as the vents whirred faster in anticipation. "Here, I'll let you go."

He paused, looking over at you. "Don't you need your hazmat suit?"

Your index finger stopped over one of the buttons as you started pressing the password to get out. "...No, it'll be fine. My parents said that I have a higher immunity to this sort of stuff anyways."

"...Okay, if you say so." He nodded, accepting your words. Every rotting bone in his body was screaming that there was something off about the way you said it, but his heart didn't utter a single peep in protest. He wonders if you're hiding the truth from him judging from his physical reaction to your words.

You nodded back at him, your eyes flicking back up at his for one more time before the door opens, a small gust of wind blew his hair back a little as the heavy entrance opened itself - exposing the two of you to the chilly evening air. "...It's nice meeting you." You say, your words as distant as you could muster with your almost wistful expression.

"...You too." He nodded simply, taking a step out, his boots landing on the dirt footing outside. He paused then turned his head back, speaking again as if he couldn't leave without finishing his all of his thoughts. "Real pleasure to meet you."

You blinked at him repeatedly, taken aback. There was... a slight smile on his face? You weren't given a chance to respond back before the doors let out loud 'beeps' rapidly and the doors slammed down.

He turned back around, taking a couple steps forwards as he languidly pulled out a cigarette and his lighter. His eyes casted over the cherry of the cigarette, watching it catch a flame as he took in a deep, slow breath, inhaling as much of the smoke he could. Impatient, he'd usually call himself for trying so hard to get the taste of the poison as quick as he did just moments after lighting it. It's just getting him more hooked on the nictotine (if he could be anymore addicted), it'll kill him faster (if he could die). But this time he won't fault himself even with all the negatives.

Smoking won't help relieve this... feeling, but it won't make it worse either, he supposes.

His boots forcefully move his body forward as he let out a low grumble.

Move. He urges himself. This is ridiculous. I barely know them.

"Wait!" He heard from behind him, and he found his head turning around without his input. "...I have some sort of car in the lab. Do... you want me to drive you to the forest...?" You ask, holding something of a car key attached to the lanyard around your neck, jangling the sliver object.

...Zombieman knows that it's not the first time you smoke you become addicted. It's the second time.

"Yeah, that's be great." He responses, the cigarette practically falling out of his mouth as he spoke, but he barely cared, only catching it in his hands and crushing it in his palm. It burned - but he barely felt it.

He didn't know that infatuation worked in a similar way to chemical addiction.

-----

You drove him over to the forest, his voice quietly murmuring out the directions for you to drive him. He had made some sort of comment on the car being a off-road vehicle, but you didn't fully get what he was trying to say.

The interior of the car was cold, the heater was very slowly warming it's way up. He insisted that it didn't bother him, but even so, you tried cranking that bloody thing up all the way. There's not much fuel in the car to begin with, but you didn't mind using it on him. It's not like you were going to be driving again.

"Keep going straight, try to avoid that rock if you can." He says, his hand motioning towards the obstacle on the ground.

"O-okay..." You nodded, trying your best to keep the car steady. There was practically sweat dripping down your arms from your nervousness. "Like this...?"

"Mhm." He nodded, "do you not drive often?" He asked, noting your anxious features that was crawling it's way up your face.

"No, uh, can- can you tell...?" You say, pressing the accelerator a little harder, making the car go faster.

"Well, we've been either going 20 or quadruple that. You've not really decided on a constant speed to drive at." He said, pointing a finger at the speedometer. "Also, I've been the one controlling the stick shift since you keep putting it in the wrong one."

"...Ah."

"I think you don't even know how to drive, but I don't really mind." He says, leaning his arm out the window as he blew out another cloud of smoke out of the vehicle. "You got the air bags, so you'll be fine even if we crash."

"...Maybe I'm just a really bad driver." You mutter, feeling your face grow hot even in the cold breeze that came in through the window.

"It's not a maybe." He says, turning back to you, "but it doesn't matter. I appreciate your help. I'll teach you how to drive for real after we get to the forest."

You raised an eyebrow at him, "You can drive?"

"...Eh." He makes a non-committal sound until you shot him a questioning glance, making him answer you properly. "...I don't have a valid licence, but I can drive."

"...So you're just as qualified as me?" You laughed, "or perhaps just as unqualified as me?"

"No, I've passed before. It's just that I've not driven in so long I don't know if I pass the current standards." He answers, maybe a little quickly as you chuckle at his explanation, not exactly buying his answer. "I should still be valid to drive."

"What are you, a old man?" You laughed, the car slowing down as your foot released the pedal, your mind too distracted by what he just said to properly process both things at once. "How could your licence just expire?"

"I had a licence before I was used for human experimentation and I've not had the time to try to renew it." He answers causally, taking in another breath of the smoke before breathing it back out. "I think."

You almost completely stopped the car before turning your head back over to him. "...Huh?"

He turns back to you, staring back into your eyes as your face grew pale at his words, unsure of what to say in response to him. "It's not a secret. I just don't talk about it."

"...Oh." You nodded, then took your hands off the wheel and your foot off as well. "...Is that why you can't die?"

"...Yeah." He nodded, then blew out one last cloud of smoke before he rubbed the light out on his skin again. There wasn't a moment of hesitation between his actions and words - he's too used to the pain he inflicts on himself. The slightest pink tinge on his skin from the burn is gone within less than a second.

The car let out a splutter, filling in the silence that took place in the car. Then stopped dead in it's tracks. "...Uh oh." You glanced down at the screen in front of you, trying to see what went wrong. "...I think we're out of fuel."

"...Mhm. Yeah." He agreed, glancing over to you. "It's fine, we're mostly there anyways." He says, nodding his head forward as he indicated towards your destination.

Your eyes casted over to the view in front of you - you didn't even realise until he pointed it out, but the two of you reached the forest he was guiding you to earlier.

It was dark, the bark of the trees was jet black against the faint light that shone down on the trees. You could barely see past them to see their fellow family. You've never seen them before in person - it was much larger than you had expected. The air smelt... clean.

Even so, it doesn't keep your attention for long as you looked back over to the man next to you. His pale skin contrasted strongly against the darkness outside, his red eyes shifted over to you, and you could pick up on the slight tinge of metal from the dried blood from earlier.

He didn't look human. He didn't have the warm undertones of blood running underneath people's skins. His response to pain was too lukewarm. He had no reaction to being in such grave danger. 'Zombieman' fit him.

"...Shall we go?" He offers, clicking open the car door for him to leave. "You can stay if you want."

"...No, I'll join you."

But he was still far, far more human than you were.

-----

The two of you wandered out into the woods. You flicked your flashlight on while he bravely moved forward in the dark, unafraid of any possible dangers that would be lurking in the woods.

"...Are you looking for something in particular?" You asked, your eyes flicking back over to him as you carefully shined down towards the ground to see where you were placing your heavy-duty boots.

"No." He replied back, still moving like a man on a mission. "The train conductor said that I should drop by here if I had time. I have time."

"...Do you think you'll find your source of poison?" You asked, your voice wavering towards the end, almost backpedalling last second in the hopes he didn't hear you.

He tilted his head backwards, glancing back towards you when you asked. "...I think it's from your home. I just don't know how yet."

*...How honest.

Well, I suppose that he doesn't really have anything to be afraid of anything he can't die. There's not much reason for him to lie.

"...I see." You nodded, your palms feeling slightly clammy after his answer.

...I wonder if he opened up about his past in the hopes that I'd also be more honest with him.

He continued to stride ahead, not taking any particular detours, walking in a straight line forward as he dragged his axe across the ground. It was still low to the ground.

...I hope not. Because I think it's working.

Then, you heard a branch snap off in the distance. You froze up instantly, your feet stuck on the dirt as your head swung over in the direction of the noise as you tried to find the source.

Finally, Zombieman stopped walking, standing still as he tilted his head in the same direction as the sound, the two of you almost perfect mirrors of each other.

"...We have company." He says, as he takes a step over to the sound, swinging his axe upwards to lean rest on his shoulder as he began to stroll over. You think you heard the metallic 'click' of his gun as well. "Let's give them a proper hello."

You flicked your head back and forth, from him to off in the distance of where the car was. Even if your vehicle couldn't move and was useless, you'd still rather go and hide in there over wherever the hell he was waddling off to. "C-Can we not...? If I die, I die."

He didn't acknowledge you maybe he didn't hear, only pressing on and got further and further away from even as the flashlight didn't reach that far ahead. You flipped a coin in your head to decide your choice to join him or leave. You mentally cursed yourself. Repeatedly.

...I guess I'm going too...

Even your feet protested against your brain's decision, but you ignored it and willed them to go on.

It didn't take long for him to stop in front of a bush, looking down at the source of the sound. You think that he's already taken care of the problem before you step past the shrub blocking your vision to see what he was looking at.

"...That's a crow...?" You murmured, your eyes fixed on the bird struggling to get off the ground - there was a sense of pure curiosity even at the sight of the animal in pain. "It's... small."

Zombieman barely paid attention to your words - it wasn't that he didn't find them interesting, it's just that he want to focus his efforts on something else right now.

"Mhm, it might be young." He nodded as he stepped out from behind the shrub. The bird started letting out sounds - perhaps to try to warn the man to step back, but he continues forward. "I think the wing is broken." he explains, pointing to the broken branch next to the animal with his axe. "I guess it hit the tree pretty hard and this is the result."

"Oh," you watched him crouch down to the bird, gently picking it up. It squawked louder as he picked it up to inspect it. "...So, do we help it?"

"...I don't know if we can." He replies back, picking it up with both hands, leaning the head of the axe in between his head and his shoulder as if he was taking a phone call with it. "...Have you ever taken care of a bird before?"

"...I've barely even seen a bird before, I'll be honest." You say, the works almost slipping out without you thinking much of it. He flicked his eyes over to you questioningly but didn't verbalise his thoughts. He was still intent on playing the long game.

"I guess we can take it back to the car for now." He says, his fingers clutching onto the torso of the bird firmly as he tried to support it's wing. Do you have any equipment in the car?"

"Maybe...? There's stuff in the back, we could try helping it." You say, nodding along with him as he began to walk back out the woods, you walking in front to guide him out with the only source of light between the two of you. "...Being a hero must be hard work." You mutter under your breath, your eyes flicking back to him practically cradling the animal in his arms as he steadily supported it to prevent it from hurting itself anymore. It's stopped crying at this point. "You even have to tend to the needs of even animals."

"Nothing worth doing is easy." He responses, picking up on your quiet words, his boots unshakeable even as he stepped on multiple uneven tree roots. "...Besides, this isn't my usual work. I investigate dangerous areas or suspects. My information isn't useful without someone to put it to good use. Helping others is inherently heroic. What I do isn't." He says, almost putting himself down as he spoke even if he didn't intent to. His tone was blunt and factual - he wasn't looking for reassurance.

"...Someone has to be the tester. Any important situation needs one." You say, your words sounding almost rehearsed as you spoke. Like you've heard it many times before. "...You fill a role no one else can."

He shifted his attention away from the crow, his head lifted up to look at you as you spoke. You didn't turn your head around though, only faced forward. He couldn't see what kind of expression was on your face.

-----

You opened the car door for him, letting him gently lower the bird onto the passenger seat of the car. The warm air that was somewhat there from the car heater was no longer in the vehicle, now it also reached the temperature of the cold air around you. Neither of you minded, but you still couldn't help the goosebumps crawling up your arms as a strong gust came every so often.

"Go watch it, I'll go check the back of the car." Zombieman said, resting the animal down before he swiftly walked away to open the boot of the car.

"O-Okay..." You nodded, briefly watching him move away from you two before you looked back down to the bird.

It had black ruffled feathers, and bright dark eyes. Eyes that seemed to stare deep into your inner being. It let out another echoing caw as it tried to fly again, getting up on it's feet. You quickly stepped forward, trying to discourage it's escape with your body. You hoped that you didn't actually have to touch it.

It stared up at you, then cried loudly. Clearly something of a battle cry as it then tried to fly - but was only able to hop forward.

You let out a fumbling cry of shock, your eyes seeing it fall off the car in slow motion. You had to catch it- You aren't wearing gloves- You can't touch it-

You have to catch it-

Your body moved on auto-pilot as your hands shot forward to catch it from falling to the dirt floor. Your brain knew, it fucking knew what would happen if you touched it, yet it still commanded it to move forward due to whatever fucking human nature you had left.

It's feathers grazed against the skin of your hands. Your body froze. It was warm. It was warm to touch even in the cold weather cooling the both of you down.

"Good catch," you heard distantly. You felt like you were submerged in a pool of ice water - you struggled to hear whatever was around you. Your eyes were frozen in place. Your body didn't listen to you. "Here, I found a first aid kit in the back."

You didn't process his words. You only watched the lively bird stumble on it's footing as you caught it. It blinked at you with something you'd call indignant anger. It would be right to be angry at you in a moment.

"You can put it down now," Zombieman said, clicking open the clasps on the box and pulled out some bandages. "We need to support it's wing with something strong." He carried on, unravelling the white gauze.

When he saw that you didn't listen to him, he reclarified for you. Maybe you didn't know what to get. "A straight strong stick should do. Go find one."

You still didn't move, and he finally looked up. He stared at you questioningly, not quite understanding the guilt ridden expression on your face until he looked down at your hands.

The black feathered bird was flopped over on your hands, it's eyes closed. It slumped over on it's wings and feet in a strange way. It's beak was open wide, trying to get something out that was never really there.

"...I think..." You say, your head turned over to face him, but he didn't really think you were looking at him. "I think your investigation is over."

...The crow was getting colder.

-----

"...I'm kinda like you." You started, sitting down in the car with dirt in stuck in your fingernails. You insisted on burying the crow before you explained everything. It was a request he easily granted - you had dug into the soft soil with your bare hands and covered the corpse with the same hands that killed it. "I'm... also like this because of human experimentation."

"...Go on." He said, nodding along.

"The lab, I'm sure you already know this, but they wanted to create antidotes. Something that would cure any poison. They obviously experimented on animals, but in the final stages, they wanted to test on a human subject. It was almost to fruition I think. And... My parents brought me in. I grew up in the lab." You sighed. "I wonder if they're even my real parents... What if..." You trailed off, the suspicions had clearly been weighing in your head for a long time. "...Never mind. That doesn't matter anymore. Anyways, one of the vials they gave me apparently wasn't the correct one. I started absorbing the poison in my body, almost like a storage box. No one realised at first."

"...Something happened, huh?" He said, picking up on your choice of words.

"...Yeah, they gave me some particularly strong poison or something to test out how my body would respond to the antidote they prepared. They didn't anticipate that I'd be able to absorb it alongside with the antidote." You let out something of a dry laugh. "That... was the last time I ever touched my mother. They cleared me to leave and I went up to her to say hi. She... collapsed on the ground, convulsing seconds later. After that, no one approached me without hazmat suits again. They quickly stopped working, after something else happened and they fled. My father was the last to go."

"...And that's when he gave you the instruction to stay until the level of toxins were acceptable?" He asked for confirmation. To which you nodded at him.

...Seeing everything fall into place has never felt so unsatisfying to him before.

He gave you a measured nod, his eyes never leaving the sight of your hunched over figure. "...So he sends you money to keep you somewhat alive?"

"...I don't know if he knows if I'm still alive." You shook your head. "Hell, I don't know if he's still alive himself. It's been... years. I only have the bank transactions from him as m only form as contact. I... still don't know if I killed my mother or if she's recovering somewhere."

He let out a quiet curse under his breath, leaning his arm against the window as you continued speaking.

They lived like this for years. Years.

"...I know what that place is, Zombieman." You say, your nails pressing tight against your skin, digging in. "I didn't want to admit it."

"...A prison?" He tried guessing when you didn't speak for a while, only to be met with a humourless laugh.

"Coffin. It's a coffin for me. I was born into a live burial -  I'll live and die there." You say, your voice completely monotone. It was like a reporter going about the facts of the day. "The furthest place I've been from here. This... forest. And just by going once, I ruined the place. I can't just... leave. This was already a mistake."

He listened to you, watching the way you clutched yourself for some sort of support. He stayed quiet, examining your features carefully. Nothing on his corkboard prepared him for this - but perhaps his own personal experience of being on the other side could help.

He slowly forms the thoughts in his head - there wasn't much he could remember when he first left the lab he had escaped from, but he tried his best to gather what he could. What would have comforted him best? Well, probably the death of Dr Genus.

It was just a tad too slow - you had began speaking again.

"...When are you going to end me?"

He turned his head over to you, too quickly. "What?"

"You found the source of the poison." You say, leaning over to him from your seat. His breath hitched as you got closer. "You've known for a while, haven't you? So when are you going to do it? In my sleep? With a gun? Or an axe?"

It probably doesn't help, but at the mention of his weapons his eyes find their way over to their positions. "...I'm not going to murder you." He says, but didn't get up. He let you look down at him from where you were - it was probably the little bit of power you still had over him in your eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I made that crow die." You state, your retort coming back far too fast. "You saw me. One touch from me killed it. It was barely even a few seconds."

"...That doesn't warrant the death penalty." He sighs. "Nothing you've done deserves punishment of any kind, it's not your fault. None of it."

You stared at him with an unreadable expression on your face, he struggled to place what you were feeling at the moment despite it being the most vital time for him to be able to. "...I have a question," you say, almost reluctant to interrupt him. "If there was something that could only cause harm, why keep it?"

He doesn't given himself much time to think of his answer, knowing that the longer he took the more insincere he would sound to you. "I know many people who's only speciality is violence." He starts out, leaning a little closer to you as you took a step back from him, giving him more space. "...We call them heroes. Or monsters, depending on their intentions."

"...Are you one of these people?" You ask, your words feeling heavier than he expected for such a short question.

"I'd say so." He responded, his voice flat as he continued speaking. "...But a lot of people suspect me as a monster too. "

"...You're more than that." You said, tilting your head at him with scornful befuddlement. You looked upset, but not at him.

"Aren't you the same?" He mirrored the simple question to you.

There's silence from you, until he hears a small sniffle and you bring up one hand to wipe at your eyes. He's frozen solid for a second until he reaches over to a box of tissues nearby and offered it to you. 

"No..." You shook your head. "No thanks, my tears will just melt it... Tried it, trust me..."

"...Yeah, that's what tissues tend to do in liquid long enough." He cracked the dry joke, trying to lighten your mood and still offering the box to you, just slightly further away.

"...No, they're..." You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a shaky sigh as you forced yourself to bite back the tears. "My tears are corrosive. Highly corrosive."

"...Huh." He said, putting the box aside and stood up. "Would you like my coat instead?"

"...Why on Earth would I want that?" You say, the last of the tears running down your face as you stopped wiping it with your hands. 

"...It's work clothes, I can get these replaced for basically free. It's cheaper than those tissues." He shrugged, trying to make another attempt to cheer you up seeing that you had stopped at this point. They were more stressed tears than anything, so your crying wouldn't have lasted long anyways. 

You blinked at him before letting out a laugh, "no, no... It's okay... I don't want to accidentally hurt you. I'm fine now anyways."

"Mhm." He nodded, watching you sit back down on your seat. "...You know, I have a really, really smart colleague. He might be able to help you leave if you want."

"...Really?"

"He's the smartest person I know. And I've been kicking around for a while." He states a chuckle on his lips as he spoke. The only other person he could think of being close to Child Emperor was Dr Genus. There wasn't a chance in hell he'd let him anywhere near you. 

"...Do you think he'd be willing to help?" You ask, the lilt of your voice going up a little higher, a sense of hopefulness leaking into your tone. "Or wait, would he be safe? I don't want to hurt him by accident..."

He nodded at your concerns as you spoke. "I've seen him analyse venomous monsters during the heat of battle and create antibodies on the fly. I think there's a strong chance."

"...Wow, he sounds really smart. Is he a hero like you?"

"Yes," he nodded, something you'd describe as pride adorned his features. "He's more of a hero than me, though. I could learn a lot from him."

"...I think you're far more of one than you think you are."

He's silent, staring back into your eyes. It takes the both of you a moment before either speaks. His voice breaks the silence gently, his words slow and purposeful as he spoke.

"...I think we should get going soon. We need to catch that train."

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Blue eyes - Chapter 5

warning : little fluff , hurt/comfort , little emotional , flirty , dreaming , tiny angst

next chapter , masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ticking of the clocks merged with the many sounds of the lab around them. The bright white and slightly bluish colors of the lab surrounded her.

Next to the occasionally changing colors of the individual friends and people, she concentrated on her work. The keyboard under her fingers with the small elevations for the brail script had been in use for hours.

She went through not only her reports on her avatar but also the recordings.

Despite this, she couldn't help but be excited for tomorrow. I'll finally be able to see it all, she thought for the longest time, grinning slightly as her fingers continued to run over the keyboard. There were only a few sentences left before she paused.

Something she had already been thinking about, something she knew was unsettling her. She would see him, but would he see her differently?

A short sad smile flitted across her lips before she continued writing. He sees you as a blue alien and you see him as a human...it doesn't fit, it's nothing she heard her own inner voice whose words could not have been truer. It was true though.

She would only be able to see him in her avatar form and then only for a short time.

As soon as she was linked, she would go behind the wall and try some tests and trainings. Finally she would see and experience Pandora. But most of all she hoped to talk to the Na'vi.

To learn from them to understand their connection to nature even better. That was something she deeply admired. This deep almost synonymous connection to every little plant or animal.

But conversely as soon as she returned and was no longer linked she would only have her memories of Quaritch. An unhofed imagination she told herself, but she still couldn't ignore the fact that her colors shone so brightly only with him.

Nor could she ignore her nervousness, her urge to prove to him that she was not helpless, to impress him and perhaps even get confirmation. Finally to be seen as what she really is and not as blind and helpless.

Shaking her head as she turned to finish her report, she let it go with a sigh and closed the file. ,,Doctor Augustine, I've finished my report and I'm going to get some sleep!" she called into the lab, not seeing or hearing the older one.

She heard a ,,Good night" from far away in the lab, but it could have come from Jake or Norm. ,,See you all tomorrow," she said before pushing her chair over and turning off the small camera. Before she left the lab and went to her room.

Sitting exhausted on her bed, she folded up her staff and ran it over her face. A quick shower and then sleep she thought before going into the bathroom and taking a warm shower.

Before she stepped out in her soft sleeping clothes and took her datapad. Quickly typing a message to her mother, she paused briefly. Before she deleted it and pressed the record button.

She owed her mother at least that for the day. For it they connected as family to cattle. ,,Hey, Mom, it's evening at our place and I'm about to go to sleep...something happened, nothing bad, don't worry, but it's about Dad," she began, interrupting herself several times.

Not only to pause but also to hold back the tears. Before she finished the video and slowly put it away. Before she slipped under the covers and fell asleep after some time, exhausted but also relieved. But the sleep should not be long from peace and quiet.

The dark colors gradually began to change back to the beautiful glowing forest. Continuing to walk through and let her fingers glide over the plants and trees, she enjoyed the peaceful forest.

The sun shone through the bright leaves and she could hear a few animals calling and birds chirping. The forest was alive. More alive than she had imagined. A smile was on her lips the more she saw of the forest.

It pleased her, relaxed her and gave her the feeling of freedom. ,,My daughter, it's time," she heard that unknown voice again. But no matter how hard she tried to find it, more and more forest seemed to appear around her.

Before she barely made it without bumping into something. ,,You'll feel it," she heard the words dully and looked around. Before she wanted to make another step, however, she got stuck on a liana that was on the ground and began to stumble. Trying to hold on somewhere, she slipped unsuccessfully.

Afraid of the impact, she automatically closed her eyes and stretched her arms in front of her. But said impact did not occur. Instead, she felt two hands on her hips that gently, but with strength and determination, brought her back to her feet.

When she opened her eyes again she saw that there was no forest around her. On the contrary, she seemed to be in the training room. At least that's what she assumed from the large mirrored wall and the hard floor.

But it was exactly the mirror that caught her attention because the person holding her seemed to be hidden in the shadows. She saw his hands as they did not move from her waist. They still held her in place. It was as if he was about to drop her, to lose her.

She felt through the fabric of her top that her hands were rough, as if they had already experienced a lot, gone through a lot and done things that she would not be proud of. She saw the arms as the muscles were still visible in the dark. They every moment around torn can turn to him.

Only from his face seemed to be hidden in the shadows, but she felt the gaze on her. Blue she recognized as the bright blue eyes flashed briefly almost as if he would confirm it for her. She dared to move a step away from him out of curiosity.

But before she could finish the movement the hands fastened her tighter. ,,Come on, try, sweetheart" she heard a delayed but engaging voice at her ear. For a moment she paused. Should she dare? But turning to him she did not, instead she tried to go forward again. What led to this, however, was that he grabbed her even tighter.

Not painfully but warningly almost with a hint of interest. As if he was hoping for something. Suddenly like a flash she remembered. The training. Her arms, which had previously rested loosely and almost gently on his warm hands, enclosed them just as firmly.

Before she took a last breath, she braced herself and tried to lift her body weight out of the air against him and bring him down. Getting up was one thing, getting him down was quite another. Instead of losing his footing or anything else, he didn't seem to care.

On the contrary, in such a quick movement that she hardly saw what was happening, he took her off him and put her in front of him again before he wrapped his arms around her and pressed her to him. She felt his arms on and under her decollete.

How he held her, pressed her to him, his calm breathing would not let her go. ,,Lost my darling" the voice purred before she felt his lips on her neck. They almost seemed to wait, savoring the moment of togetherness before she felt the soft lips on her aorta.

For a moment they remained there. Before she felt the smirk that came over his lips. ,,How obscene of you ma'am," he smirked before his one hand detached itself from her torso and slowly went to her neck. He did not squeeze hard, on the contrary, he lifted her head slightly. She felt that he wanted to touch more of her.

But what to feel ? Her heartbeat, her emotions, her feelings, her body, too many questions seemed to come over her before she heard the last smirk before the darkness fell upon her. Slowly she opened her eyes. Tired. The tiredness seemed to have really taken hold of her.

Only when she slowly realized that she was no longer dreaming and that she had no body or hands on her, she realized that she was back in reality. ,,What a dream" she mumbled and sat up. A small smile, a cautious smirk rather, was on her lips. Blue is a pretty color, she thought, remembering the dream in short fragments. But the blue. The bright blue of the eyes. It was beautiful.

Slowly moving her hand to her bedside table she took the datapad before reading out the latest news. ,,Wilder, get your ass to the lab right after breakfast, we're not waiting just because you can't find your way," she heard Grace's message and smiled slightly. She could almost see the slight smile on the lips of the higher-ups. ,,Already on the way" she said before she got dressed and finished getting ready.

The last thing she did was to take her staff before she left the room and headed for the cafeteria. Once there, she grabbed breakfast before being called to the table by Jake and Norm.

After two tries she found the right table and sat down next to Jake. ,,And did you sleep well?" she asked as she bit into a roll and looked back and forth between them. She heard a yawn that seemed to come from Norm. ,,I was still awake for hours, and I was looking through all the notes I could find," he said, before continuing to eat himself.

A smile came to her lips. Of course he did she thought and looked at Jake. ,,Well, I just slept a little restless, otherwise it was good" he said and she saw how the colors didn't change.

How should they. ,,And you?" he asked and she took a sip of the water. They don't have to know everything she thought and knew that she would skip the training area. ,,Well, I dreamed of Pandora, the forest, and someone called me," she told him, feeling Jake's eyes almost pierce her. ,,You can see in your dreams?" he asked, sounding fascinated but rather confused.

Norm sighed and ran his hand over his face and Y/n couldn't help but laugh. ,,Yeah Jake, just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't see," she said, pointing to her eyes and then to him. ,,I see the world in different, well, misty colors...imagine that when you close your eyes you don't just see black, you see different tones" she explained, shrugging slightly as Jake suddenly put a hand on her shoulder.

He seemed completely taken by it. ,,That's so interesting, what colors do I have?" he asked and she smiled. Almost like a little boy she thought with a smile. ,,Well, you have blue and yellowish colors and Norm you...have reddish brown" she said and looked at the other. ,,That's fascinating" Jake mumbled and continued to eat his food and Norm seemed rather unimpressed. ,,Yes it is," he said rather dismissively, but she didn't take it from him.

Why should she? She knew he was smart enough for the answer. They finished their meal before heading for the lab.

When the door opened and the colors changed to bright white, she saw the grayish green of Augustine arriving. ,,There you three are, off to the capsules at last," she ordered, and the younger one could still smell the faint cigarette smoke on her. She seems as tense as we are she thought with a grin and followed the two before she went to one of the capsules.

Opening it, she felt the soft lying material. ,,At least it was comfortable," she heard Jake say and smiled. She folded up her staff and placed it on a small shelf below the controls.

She sat on it and lay down before she heard Grave's footsteps. ,,So you know how it works?" she asked, apparently looking at the data on her pad. ,,Well, I can understand the language at least, speak with a bit of an accent, but I haven't been in a body yet...couldn't let them think my blindness couldn't handle the system," she admitted, watching the colors move back and forth. ,,Assholes," Grace mumbled before sighing and putting her hand on the younger girl's shoulder. ,,I don't have to tell you what you can do, but go slow, especially for your eyes," she reminded her before closing the flap and watching the colors turn a dark green.

She heard her blood rush, the relatively fast heartbeat, the soft ground beneath her. Before she closed her eyes and tried to relax. ,,Lie still, it's going to start in a few seconds," she heard Grace say, trying not to think about anything and clear her head. Before she slowly felt a tingling sensation all over her body.

Not as if her limbs had fallen asleep, but rather almost from fainting. It continued to move up her body and the colors slowly became brighter and brighter. Before she felt for a moment how she lost consciousness. And then it was dark. So dark that she saw nothing. No colors, no light, nothing.

And it scared her. Before she was suddenly torn out of the darkness and felt the tingling again, which slowly subsided. Slowly she felt her body again, the weight of her limbs, her fingers and toes, her arms and legs. And her eyes.

It was her eyes that she opened first, blinking. And immediately closed again, too much the light of the bright lamp burned. Too much it burned to see.

It was too painful to see her dream. ,,Y/n do you hear me?" she heard a woman say dully before she turned her head to the left and blinked again. Slowly she opened her eyes and realized that she was not looking directly into the light.

Slowly she saw the woman dressed in white sharper and sharper before she saw her fully in focus. ,,That's good...very good" she heard a man on the other side say. She saw him sharply as well and slowly she tried to get up. What was rather shaky and heavy and a short wave of dizziness went through her body. ,,Slowly, slowly, Wilder," she heard the doctor say over the radio. When she sat up, she looked around.

She saw that she was in a sterile room, lying on a couch, Jake and Norm in their avatar bodies next to her, also waking up.

Before she suddenly saw her clear reflection in the glass. For a moment she was completely taken. Taken by her new self. The light blue skin and the long black hair that hung down and lightly covered her body.

The new size, the longer dark fingers, the pointed fascinating teeth, the feeling of a tail like humans had millions of years ago. Like an extra muscle. The stripes and patterns that stretched over her entire body as far as she could see.

But they were lighter than her skin a light blue almost white. But her eyes. They were the same. ,,My...eyes" she mumbled with a slightly strained voice and almost touched her cheek carefully.

Instead of the normal engaging yellow they were white blue gray almost even still visible and also see but there was no difference to her previous eyes. The sky she thought and felt how her throat constricted for a moment and a toilet formed. Before the first tears gathered in her eyes and she cried.

She didn't even want it, it just came over her. It was the joy, the realization, the happiness and the fear. She could finally see again.

She would see everything again, herself, her mother, Jake, Norm, Grace and Quaritch, she would see them all. ,,Take a moment," she heard Grace say and looked from her reflection to a woman with reddish brown hair, a happy smile and a white doctor's coat. ,,Thank you Grace," she said, wiping away her tears. ,,You look fitting," she said, seeing the brief surprised expression on Grace's face before adopting an almost brief affectionate one. ,,I'm glad then," she said and shook her head with a smile.

Wiping away the last tears, she now saw the chaos that was slowly unfolding next to her. Jake who also received something back. His legs.

He stood up full of energy and broke more than he could hold back. ,,Jake, calm down!" she called, but he didn't seem to hear her properly, he was so taken in. But she understood, she herself had concentrated on what she now had again.

Even if only temporarily. Jake, who had even knocked over one of the doctors with his tail, had meanwhile discovered the door to the outside and headed for it. ,,Sully, stay here!" called Grace, but it was too late, he was already outside. ,,I'll get him back," came from Norm, who had already gained his body.

But Y/n also decided rather involuntarily that it was time to act. ,,Well then," she said and looked at herself one last time in reflection before she stood up and headed first swaying and then slightly staggering towards the door.

Straight towards the outside world. Into the world of Pandora that she would finally see. ,,Jake wait!" she called and ran after Norm as best she could.

But as soon as she stepped out, she hissed, squeezed her eyes shut, and staggered back slightly. There was a fire. It was brighter than in the room, and yet the natural light was different. After blinking several times, it went slowly and she looked around the courtyard with a broad smile.

Next to a soprt square, plants were grown that identified themselves as food. The big huts that served as sleeping place were crowded. It was perfect.

She walked behind Norm and Jake through the fields of fruit laughing and taking in as many things as she could. ,,It's all so beautiful!" she called to Jake, who nodded and took a hearty bite of one of the fruits. Purple fruit juice ran down his chin, but it seemed immensely delicious.

Y/n was also about to grab one of the fruits when she heard someone run up to her. ,,Well, you experts!" called Grace, who was also coming towards them in her avatar body. ,,You have better taste in clothes than we do!" Norm quipped as the three were still in white coats and Grace had pants and a top and braided hair. ,,Come on, let's find you something to wear," she said and swayed over to one of the huts.

Beside the simple beds it was anngenehm in the individual small private areas if one could call it so. In nature and yet protected. She decided to wear a simple top and pants because of the heat outside, which was much higher than in the air-conditioned interior.

Simple and suitable. That was the main thing. After the small tour over the place all were allowed to look around further alone something and they did also.

Just as she had walked through the fields and recognized with joy each fruit on the surface, she was even more pleased to be able to see them now.

Before she slowly came to stand in front of the wall of steel and stone. ,,It is ugly," she noted to herself, wishing she could see more of the forest. To see if it was like in her dreams. ,,An ugly but sturdy thing," she suddenly heard a familiar voice next to her.

She flinched, slightly surprised, slightly startled, as she looked down and saw him. ,,Quaritch" his name came over her lips. ,,I thought I'd see if you had the process down, not that we'd lose the money," he said, taking his eyes off the wall and looking up at her.

She felt her cheeks grow warm. But instead of red, they turned a light dark blue.

He looked good. Better than the colors. Better than anything. Behind the oxygen mask, two bright blue eyes looked at her. Which seemed to see every move she made. As if he knew exactly what she would do.

She watched and waited for what? A mistake, a sign, a touch. The slight smile on his lips, the distinctive features of his face.

The white short hair which stood for his age but in no way for his frailty. On the contrary, it made him look even more handsome. The military clothes they were loose but fitting on his body were cut.

The hands that had touched her, the body on which she now saw the muscles. But what fascinated her the most was the scar on his head that went almost to his right eye.

He was truly handsome in his own way. ,,Be careful, Wilder," he warned, shaking his head, as her tail suddenly nudged him slightly forward. ,,Oh, apologies Colonel" she said hastily and after a few tries had her tail in her hand. It swung back and forth. ,,I expect results ma'am...so far well done" he said and gave her a smile before going back into the base.

She looked after him, her ears standing and her tail wagging again. She realized one thing when she looked at him.

His eyes. He was the unknown from her dream. She had been dreaming about Colonel Miles Quaritch all along.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist : @mooniequeen , @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed , @manymaria111 , @isabellekenway , @perseny , @itzyahgirllkita1

[marlo-noni]

Thank you @cynosurus for asking if I've ever written about my Mandarin learning journey, because I haven't, and I have stuff to say about it!

So, why and how did this middle-aged white lady learn Chinese? Here's the first part of that story, which focuses on why and how I started, and gets pretty introspective.

First of all, I was born and raised in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada, and I've lived in Vancouver proper since 2003. We have a very large Chinese-Canadian population. As of 2009, about 30% of people in Vancouver have some Chinese ancestry.

I've always been really into languages. In my first year of university, I studied Latin, and the grammar was so difficult that I wasn't motivated to continue studying a dead language.

So in my second year, in 1999, I started studying Mandarin. I thought (1) it would be a challenge, (2) it's a very useful language to know in Vancouver, (3) I grew up around a lot of overt anti-Asian racism and wanted to combat that, and (4) I wanted to learn more about the Chinese culture that was always around me but that I knew practically nothing about. It also helped that my grandmother, always a free thinker, had been practicing tai chi since 1980 (the year I was born), and my grandparents went on a trip to China in the mid-90s and came back with interesting photos and stories.

I think it also must have been in the zeitgeist in the 90s that Asian culture was cool, and white people wanted to appropriate it. I was certainly into J-pop and anime by then, and I actually wore a qipao to grad (Canadian equivalent of senior prom) that I bought in Chinatown. If you've seen or read Scott Pilgrim, which takes place in Toronto (which also has a very large Chinese population) in the 90s, that gives you a bit of an idea of white Canadians' relationship with Chinese-Canadians at that time.

I say all this just to make it clear that although very few white people in my community studied Chinese back then, and one of the reasons I started studying it was anti-racism, I wasn't some galaxy-brained politically pure being. I had good intentions, but I still lived in that time and did a lot of the same ignorant stuff other white people did. I had Chinese friends, but I cringe when I think of some of the things I said to them and did back then. It has been a decades-long learning process for me.

I'm also very lucky that my university (the University of British Columbia, aka UBC) has an extremely robust Asian Studies program. My Chinese* classes were very intensive - 2 hours long, 4 times a week, with language labs on top of that (I can't remember anymore how long). We got 6 credits per semester instead of 3 because it was double the coursework and class time of a regular class. Because I intended to minor in Chinese, I also took Asian Studies classes, including a general overview of Asian history (2 semesters long), modern Chinese literature in translation, and early Chinese dynastic history.

I studied Chinese in university for 3 years. UBC had two Chinese language streams - one for "non-heritage" speakers, and one for "heritage speakers". They interviewed all the students beforehand to decide which stream we should be in. Being in the non-heritage stream made it nearly impossible to minor or major in Chinese, simply because it takes so long to learn. I would estimate we were only at HSK 2, approaching HSK 3, by the time my third year was done. But the fourth year, the last year, placed all the heritage and non-heritage students together, and the fourth-year classes were reading Chinese literature. One girl in my class, who'd lived in Taiwan before and was the best student in our class, went to speak with a fourth-year professor to ask if she could take his class because she wanted to minor in Chinese. He basically told her it would be impossible. I can understand the university's dilemma, though. I don't know how they teach it now - if they've ever come up with a solution. I think now there are probably more non-heritage students who studied Mandarin in high school. That simply wasn't an option when I was growing up.

The other thing is that I wasn't a great student in university, because I hadn't yet been diagnosed with depression and wouldn't be until my 5th year (I was also working part-time, so I did fewer classes and attended for an extra year). University was slowly making my mental illness worse until I finally had a breakdown in my final year. So my first year of studying Chinese, I got pretty good grades, but by my third year (fourth year of being in university), I was getting C+'s.

So by the time I was done university, I'd say I was at about HSK 2 level, and it was time for me to start working. From then on, any Chinese study I did would be self-study, and like many people's hobbies, my interest waxed and waned over time. More on that in future posts.

(*)at that time, UBC didn't teach Cantonese, even though the vast majority of the Chinese diaspora in Vancouver spoke it. I think that's been historically true for most West Coast cities in North America, although that has been changing. So the only option at that time was Mandarin. Also, we learned simplified characters.

[livewireprojects]

Nikki & Reala(Bootleg Sonadow)

I admit my addiction is bad but this isn't the first time I've made shit based on other interests/characters I like. So I decided to make some characters inspired by a ship I like along with AU ideas I saw in the past that I tried messing with before scrapping at one point or another.

This is Reala & Nikki who like the title jokes are inspired by Shadow & Sonic, it might not look like it(not helped by lack of color) especially if you have seen how I draw Shadow & Sonic but when I eventually work on showing their backstories it'll make more sense. Also yeah I named Reala after a certain nightmare clown, I'm not original. These two are also meant to be connected to my OCs Terry & Arthur(Nikki makes that kinda clear) which I'll talk about at another time.

Also these two aren't meant to be in the Sonic universe, they're in their own thing but you can joke that they're alternate Shadow & Sonic if you want cause I find that funny

Reala:

Reala is a bit of a distant person, he seems a lot like a loner with only some people managing to be around him but in reality he's just an introvert that isn't good with people especially given he's lost people he's cared about in the past. Reala was born in a lab on a space station, there were a few people he cared about & was sadly in two incidents that led to the lose of people important to him with one person's existence being erased from records & their partner's info being corrupted so no one could find anything on them. Though grieving the lose of his family/those close to him along with dealing with changes/the new world he now lives in Reala has slowly accepted he's in a better time & takes comfort in Nikki's help/companionship. He's slowly learning to live for himself & get into hobbies he hadn't gotten the chance to try in the past, he's also gotten help from Nikki to learn about the world they live on as Nikki knows more about it than he does.

Nikki:

Nikki is a friendly person that likes to run around & explore, he can often be seen sky gazing at night before bed staring out a the stars. He does his best to keep up with/understand his friends as he doesn't always understand what they're talking about, despite this he does his best to listen cause he knows it's important to have a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to. Nikki in the past has struggled especially due to being alone for a long time but is slowly coming to terms with having people that care surround him, it also helps that Reala has been growing closer to him as Nikki use to feel like something was missing but now feels like that feeling is gone as if Reala was what was missing. Nikki can often be seen wearing star themed stuff along with his hat & hoodie poncho, he doesn't always but he's usually seen in them. Nikki isn't affected by temperature, he can feel it & can get hurt depending on what's going(like touching a heated stove or something) but it doesn't effect him much all of this is just to say he doesn't really need to wear these warm clothes. Nikki sometimes says that the poncho feels like someone is hugging him which might be due to being alone in the past. His hat & poncho often make it hard to tell what species of animal he is, not helped by Nikki kind of being unsure himself.

Drew this a little after drawing Reala & Nikki, here's Nikki with out his hat/poncho that usually cover him. I think I made a mistake drawing the hat in his hand cause I don't exactly like how it looks like that.

Like I mentioned in the first pic Nikki is often seen wandering around in a hat & poncho that make it hard to tell what species he is & makes it seem like he's not to sure either.(He's mostly hedgehog) Nikki has a few outfits he can put on but he usually is in tanks & sports shorts, he also has sports shoes on & some socks/stockings that are rolled at the ankles, I drew one of them slightly unrolled to show they're longer.(Was tempted to have the unrolled one be above the knee but I dunno what to put so it's just partly unrolled) Nikki has one large glove on & one normal sized glove, for some reason I got inspired by this one red ridding hood design I found once & can't find anymore.(Google Image Search failed) Probably doesn't help that I use to have an obsession with red riding hood themed stuff.

I was almost tempted to draw him without his shoes but meh. He also has a few markings on him like his ears, under his eyes, neck & legs.

[wolpatinga]

i did some data stuff. was gonna do a tier list but this is more informative

notes:

adaptations:

the original for reference

the mazm mobile game

the 1968 movie with jack palance

the animated version from 1986

le testament du docteur cordelier

the two tracks from the album gothic whore by chonny jash

the 2021 movie with the brothers. idk that's all i really remember from it

okay. it's "dr jekyll and ms hyde" but his name is jaxon in this. it's a movie from 1995

the 2007 adaptation that was really edgy and 2007

the one from 1920 with barrymore

the wildhorn musical

chonny's charming chaos compendium. i know it's not really an adaptation. it's a more faithful adaptation than TGS. screw you

the glass scientists, a webcomic

the hulk. i'm specifically talking about the 2008 one but ig any by-the-numbers hulk story works here

league of extraordinary gentlemen - a comic series by alan moore and kevin o'neill

faithfulness was out of 30 points. could i have used better points? make your own list. (adapted from previous post)

does jekyll love hyde (fatherly or otherwise)

would hyde negotiate with enfield

does jekyll and or hyde cry, especially over his friends

would this hyde actually believably do a murder

is jekyll NOT the main character

does it look fun to be hyde

is hyde not jack the ripper? is hyde only reasonably dickish. does hyde not beat women just to shock the audience

this is extremely biased, but does it do what it can for the time to touch on the more eccentric themes. by which i mean. incongruous faggots. queer street. house of bondage. etc etc.

is hyde autistic/anxious in crowds/shy (see previous post about hyde)

do people hate hyde's appearance. this seems obvious but sometimes it goes completely without mention

is utterson seen being overly focused on the case. is this utterson's case

is jekyll mid fifties

is jekyll big

is hyde a "young man", noticeably younger than jekyll

is hyde little

does lanyon act like lanyon. is he a straight-laced vivacious doctor, estranged friend of jekyll, good friend of utterson

does utterson act like utterson. is he painfully boring, but lovable nonetheless. is he a diehard friend

is poole here

how does hyde die - suicide?

how does jekyll die - long before hyde does, or at least in such a way that they're clearly two different personalities

friendless hyde?

story of the door

incident at the window

the obnoxious will

does jekyll make the potion to set hyde free, out of care? does jekyll daydream about duality

is the house in soho clean - aka is there a house in soho and are you refraining from moralizing cleanliness

transcendental medicine - jekyll is a mad scientist, right? (because cccc's on the list)

jekyll's interior design hobby. utterson thinks jekyll's house is the finest spot in london, and he's the lawyer for MPs. he's seen finery, and he says jekyll's it

jekyll born into wealth

does hyde have a panic trying to get more of the potion

my likeability scoring was as follows:

would i watch/read it again

does it seem like the creators like the original story

do i like its changes

would i like if it it weren't j&h

did i love it *while* i was actually watching it. each one of these i've come around to liking in some respect, but like, in the moment was i happy as a j&h fan

additional info

if i enjoyed watching it, it probably wasn't being faithful

the most followed point was "hyde does a murder"

the least followed point was "does jekyll have an interest in interior design" and that was the half a point i gave to the 2007 movie because jekyll's seen giving orders to poole to redo the doors on his lab

adaptations on the whole aren't all that faithful. mazm was closest at 24.5/30. the others that made it halfway faithful were palance 1968, animated 1986, prof cordelier, and gothic whore. that's 33%

according to this - cccc is a more faithful adaptation than TGS by half a point. and cccc wasn't really trying to be an adaptation, it just references j&h a few times so i threw it in there

the least faithful adaptation of the ones i looked at was league of extraordinary gentlemen. it also wasn't really trying to be a j&h adaptation, so, /shrug/

according to my grading system, everyone is failing. 65% is the highest score, a tie between gothic whore and 1968 palance

my grading scale is HIGHLY biased towards the dynamics between jekyll and hyde. i mean. half the book is jekyll talking about his dynamics with hyde. and then no one looks at that when they adapt the book. :(

love interest isn't even one of my points. just wanted to state that for the record

[hurricanek8art]

So a lot of people have seen my Star Wars posts the last couple of weeks. I only have a handful of followers and I'm still pretty new to all of this, and it's been fun and kinda mind blowing. I would love to talk about Star Wars or other nerdy stuff more than anything right now, but... I have something I have to get off my chest.

My dog Lucy died this afternoon.

It was sudden, like this developed at some point in the three months since she was at the vet last, and there was nothing we could do. I can't bring myself to really talk about it. I don't think I ever will be able to. It's too much. Because Lucy was my everything.

I'm not posting this because I'm looking for sympathy or prayer. I mean I'll take it if you're comfortable giving it, but that's all really complicated stuff, y'know? Not everybody has a great relationship with grief or religion—heck I don't always have an easy relationship with either of them sometimes, but I'm working on it. I'm not digging for commiseration or "poor sweet baby"s or anything. I just... don't have many people to talk to in my life. And this is gonna be really hard for me going forward. Not that anyone needs me to tell them that, everyone who's been where I am knows this. I'm not ready to grieve. I've grieved half my life, really, for different reasons, different people. It's... complicated. I'm complicated. So I'm going to do what I learned how to do to cope with my grief as a child. I'm going to tell you a story.

It's a story about love and unexpected journeys. Of finding who you are through someone else. Of a girl and her dog, who found each other and were who the other needed in just the right moment. I want to tell you a story because if even one person reads this, just reads it, doesn't even reblog or like or anything, the story is carried on. And the story lives forever. And in a way, Lucy lives forever. Because she already does in my heart, and she always will. So I'm going to tell the world our story not because I'm looking for followers or likes or sympathy or whatever. I'm telling it because I want at least one person to know even a fraction of how much I love her. If you don't or can't read this because it's too much, too close, too anything, I understand more than anyone that it can be overwhelming or painful. But if you do read this rambly ode that I wrote last night in sort of a haze... I thank you, for carrying the story on.

I met Lucy when I was thirteen. My family had been looking into training a service dog for me for a few months. We thought that it would help with my autism, alongside the PTSD I was dealing with in the aftermath of my father's death a little less than a year before. Because we already had one wonderful lab mix, the local training organizations had turned our applications down, citing that it would be too complicated to integrate the dogs. A friend of our family who did occupational therapy through animals suggested we find a dog and train it ourselves, with her help and help from people she knew, so off to the local shelters we went. This trip was our third try, and it was the same shelter we found our lab in—third try's the charm, right? And it was.

My mom wanted me to look at the puppies down a different row of kennels. Easier to train when they're younger, and she has a fondness for labs. But I walked down the righthand row, waving and smiling and wincing at the noise as excited dogs barked, wanting to see why new people were there, and I saw her. She was in the middle of the row of kennels. She never barked, but her big brown eyes were bright. I knelt down to say hello because she was the only one not barking in my face, and she leaned against the chain link to get closer for me to scratch, still looking at me with those beautiful eyes. I didn't realize it in that moment, but that was the moment she moved straight into my heart. I wanted to at least visit with her in the introduction room. Yes, the puppies were cute, but I had a feeling this time, y'know?

When they brought her into the room, I was sitting on the floor. She about dragged the shelter volunteers across the room, making a beeline for me. Sniffing all over. No licking—she's never been a licker. That's alright. We played a little, my mom and brother watching kinda surprised because this dog didn't want to look anywhere but me. She sniffed curiously around the room a few times, sure, but otherwise, she was right there. Stayed right there. And then she did this.

I was a goner. Because I found my dog.

___

They told us they thought she was a dalmatian mix, estimated to be about one and a half, which was amazing because we did the math later and realized she was likely born around my birthday in December. Asked me what I wanted to name her. I was on a Narnia hyperfixation at that point. Lucy, because she was so sweet and curious. Later the name evolved into an homage to Lucille Ball, because she was wacky and goofy and fun. I don't care where the name came from. She was Lucy and she was my dog. We had to introduce her to our other dog the next day, at the dog park. It went fantastic. All she wanted to do was romp and play, and our other dog went from acting her age of 8 and sorta arthritic to a happy two year old again. Surprisingly, the shelter worker handed us the leash and said "she's yours for the weekend, we'll talk on Monday". Trial run I guess. I was fine. I was ready.

It was Friday, April 13th, 2012. My brother likes to make jokes that the date should've been a clue that she'd be a handful, but I don't care. A Friday the 13th was one of the best days of my life. Even if it didn't feel like it at the time.

(I swear she and our lab got along, that one is just one of the few pictures I have of them together at the moment 🤣 I have so many pictures, but I can't go through them yet. These are just the ones I feel comfortable sharing right now.)

___

She was not a dalmatian mix. We figured that out that night when we put her up in my room to sleep. I was too buzzed with excitement, so I was in the living room when I heard it. This bay from my room. Not a bark, a full on hound bay. I remember looking at my mother in shock, and she just shook her head, eyes wide. "That is not a dalmatian."

It turned out there was an foxhound breeding/hunting place a few miles out in the boonies from us. They don't actually fox hunt, it's more of a horse-riding club where you go out riding with a whole flipping herd of foxhounds, English and American, to exercise the dogs. The shelter had found her about a month before running around in the woods, no collar, no chip, nothing. We don't know if that really is where she was lost from, or how long she was a stray. No one from there came looking for her if she was theirs. She had some scars on her face, thin scratches you could only really see when you squished the loose skin on her face. I loved squishing her face so much. Lucy had pretty clearly never been raised around non-working dogs. Or humans. Or anything, really. The world of the suburbs was new and confusing to her, but she knew how to chase, and run, and scent-track. Never had a problem with wild animals trying to get into our yard again at that house. Lucy was here to protect her new people.

(I should be clear that there was nothing in this tree. No squirrels or anything. I think this photo really captures some of her essence, though 🤣)

Service dog training went out of the window pretty quickly. My mother, who'd had dogs for decades, had never adopted a dog as old as her before, and Lucy was a lot. Hyperactive, intense prey drive, stubborn and hardheaded and loud, oh my gosh she was so loud. And settling into a new routine after losing her husband while trying to raise two autistic kids, while we all dealt with PTSD, was a lot. She got overwhelmed and kinda shut down after a while. My brother didn't know how to train dogs either, so he shut down, too. I don't blame them at all, we were all grieving and they came back around eventually, but I was thirteen years old with a dog I had no idea how to train, and I felt alone. I was grieving and scared, and for a while I was terrified that it wasn't going to work out. Every time our family adopts an animal, we swear right then—that animal is a part of our family, no matter what. But it was so much, and we were dealing with so much.

But then Lucy would look at me with those big brown eyes. And I'd feel okay. Because she was my dog. And I was her person. And I wasn't going to give up. So I squared my shoulders, I went over everything I knew from what my mother had taught me over the years, and I trained my dog.

(this was from 2016, and it's the day I knew she and my brother actually did get along, despite all the headaches and banged-up knees from her not dodging around him quite in time that she caused)

Things have never been easy. But we got through it. We moved out of my childhood home, a little over a year after returning from everything that happened with my father. (It was a saga I really don't know how to share) My PTSD and trauma stuff got worse, and my now-regular panic attacks really got started, and I dropped out of therapy like an idiot, but through it all she was there, always, always. When it felt like no one else was. When it felt like I was drowning. I never got suicidal thoughts until the pandemic hit, and have never been anywhere near wanting to even think about following through on them, but even when I was in really dark places, no matter what, Lucy was there, listening to me with her big floppy peanut butter colored ears and her big brown eyes and her freckly-looking spots. Lucy saved me from fully spiraling into a grief-filled, depressed fog I wouldn't be able to find a way out of more times than I can count. As far as I'm concerned, she saved my life. She was never cuddly—I think she tolerated my attempts at affection more than anything sometimes, but that was okay. I'm pretty touch-averse when it comes to humans and hugs and stuff. Dogs, no, humans, yes. I understood, and I knew when she'd had enough and when to step away, and I did my best to respect that. She was fine with being independant, with just being near me. And I realized I was fine with it too. Because she was there. And I was there for her.

(She heard me open a snack container in the first pic; behind that bush was one of her favorite spots in the summer even though it drove me crazy when I couldn't find her 🤣)

Over the past few years, it felt like we'd really settled into where we were supposed to be. She never slowed down with age. She just... matured, I think? Especially after our lab mixed died in 2016 and it was just her and us humans. Realized she didn't have to constantly chase the next smell, be on the lookout for the next squirrel or bird or rabbit. When I took her out for our hours of hanging out on the back porch in the sunshine, as soon as the weather would turn warm, she went from constantly running around the yard to taking breaks to hang around my chair. Laying near me, sometimes even next to me. A few times she laid her head on my feet, or next to them, or against my legs when I was sitting on the ground. I almost cried every time because it made me happy she was so comfortable with that. (Scratch that, I did cry) My favorite was when we were out there in the evenings, and she'd fall asleep as it got dark, deep enough to snore. She felt safe enough to do that, comfortable enough, content enough to let herself fall that deep asleep, because she knew we were there to protect her, be there for her. Because I was there. And if you've never heard a hound howl in their sleep because they were dreaming about chasing things, you've missed out, it's possibly one of the funniest sounds you'll ever hear, and I got to hear it on a nightly basis. I heard it last night. Even when it kept me awake sometimes as her snores rattled the windows, I have treasured that weird yodel-y sound as it fluttered through her flappy lips.

Those summer days will be in my heart forever. And when the weather would turn cold, and my seasonal depression would get bad, I felt better because she'd let herself become a couch potato with time, and realized "Hey, I can sleep on Kate's bed when she's not on it! Score!" She was content, at last, after years of us working so hard to find a balance. That's what I've held onto all this time, what I'll hold onto in the coming months, years, decades. That she's content, and happy, and she knows that she is loved more than anything in this world.

I've grown and changed with her. It's been eleven and a half years, we had to have. I've lost family and gained family. Drifted apart from friends like an idiot when I should've held on. Sometimes I don't know if the person I've become is who I want to be, or need to be, but when I'm with her, it's fine. Because I was who she needed. I became an adult. I found new interests and hobbies; I found writing, I re-found art, I found music and making friendship bracelets and a little bit of sewing recently, though I'm bad at it. I found historical subjects, mythologies and folklore, stories I never knew existed, that fascinate me. I found Lord of the Rings and Captain Marvel and Paramore and Taylor Swift with her. I still don't always know who I am, but I found myself. And every bit of that, Lucy was next to me, watching me as I discovered it, listening to me sing to her and ramble on about whatever I was doing on the days we sat out on the porch or in my room, just us, and I needed someone to talk to. She was always a good listener.

I'm still struggling with my mental health, everyone in my family is. And I know the next few months are going to be hard. But every bit of my life with her, I've been happy, even when it got hard. Because Lucy was my dog, and I was her human, and we were Kate and Lucy. My only regret is how long it took us to find our balance, find out how to coexist when we were so different but the same at the start. I will always regret how long it took, even if I was a confused child for half of it, but I never gave up. I couldn't. Because she never gave up on me, even when I had no idea what I was doing. Anything else—the grief, the frustration, the fear—I regret none of it. I never will.

Because through it all, I had Lucy. And Lucy had me. And now, if you've read all this, as I rambled my way through our story, trying not to cry and laughing at some of the memories, maybe you know her a little bit too. Everything on the internet is forever, right? Well, now our story is forever. Lucy is forever.

And she will be in my heart forever, too. I love you, Lucy. My Goose, my Goober, my Goofus, my Lucy-Goosey Mongoose, my "no, no, stop that, please stop eating stuff you find in the yard!". I love your squishy face and your droopy lips and your floppy ears. I love your loud barks and your window-rattling snores and your incredibly weird sleeping positions. I love your big brown eyes and your goofy grin and your misunderstanding of the word 'gimme five' regularly leading to you enthusiastically smacking me in the face with your big ol' paws. I love how I had to show you how to chew apple slices with your back teeth because you'd never had one before, and how you'd mooch for a carrot that was supposed to go to the horses only to spit it out three seconds later and then immediately try mooching for another. I loved teaching you to boop me with your nose when it was clear you weren't comfortable with kisses as a way to show affection, despite the numerous times you almost broke my nose. I love you. I love you. I love you. You have been part of me since April 12, 2012. You always will be part of me. One of the best parts.

And now you're forever.