#IFYLITA meta

[wen-kexing-apologist]

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!!!!!!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO

ANALYSIS ESSAY NUMBER 69!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. Yes I have, in fact, written 69 ridiculously long pieces (and some surprisingly short) pieces on my silly little gay shows. This is, obviously, not the first time that I have done a scene breakdown, and it’s certainly not the first time I’ve done a sex scene breakdown, BUT I have been itching to write about this one since I watched I Feel You Linger in the Air Episode 8. There was no way in hell I was going to let essay #69 go unrelated to sex, so I had to wait until another essay (thank you Hypocrisy) could be written and posted. 

In a feat of truly perfect timing, @waitmyturtles sent me an ask about what other physicality (besides hands) I look at to try to understand a character’s psyche, I gave her my wayyyy to long explanation of what it is I look for, and not even 24 hours later the most perfect example of expertly executed physicality graced my screen with the opening scene of I Feel You Linger in the Air. So, I am dedicating this post to Turtles...

and I'm writing a sex scene break down!

We open with Yai and Jom rushing in to the scene, Jom being pulled by Yai. Which, I mean any forearm, wrist, or hand holding that Yai and Jom are doing is not technically visible to us (it’s happening just off screen) but we know Jom is being pulled at first because of how Bright and Nonkul are moving, Yai enters the room first and Jom is practically tripping to catch up with his motion, but beyond that we know Jom’s being dragged by Yai because of the way Bright and Nonkul’s upper arms are pressed together. We’re off to a great start in Bright and Nonkul’s performance already because of how glued Yai and Jom seem to be. With just the way they are holding their bodies the tension is already palpable, but the magnetism between the two of them is heightened by the fact that the actors are ensuring Yai and Jom don’t break eye contact. Because of this, even though as the motion continues, and they turn to face each other having now placed physical distance between them, you can tell they are still drawn in. You aren’t losing any ounce of desire when they are parted. 

The way Bright stands, the way Bright has set his face, angled his head, etc. makes Yai seem like he is looking at Jom as if hypnotized, transfixed, enamored. Both of them are just staring at each other, and Jom’s hand slowly slides up Yai’s arm and Yai takes that movement as a sign to come in close, and while Yai was initially shy about (presumably) getting aroused during the olive oil scene in Episode 7, he is horny and ready to fuck now at the beginning of Episode 8 and so he just fucking goes for it. 

You know when Yai is about to lean in for the kiss, because in a fraction of a second he breaks eye contact with Jom to look down towards his lips. But before Yai performs any additional progression towards kissing, Bright plays out the brief moment where Yai is gathering his courage. How do I know Yai is taking a second to psyche himself up? Because Yai pauses, he closes his mouth a little tighter, looks down at Jom’s lips, and he swallows hard. That’s him psyching himself up to just dive right in and go for the kiss. And he doesn’t have to hesitate long, and he doesn’t have to be chaste with this kiss cause Jom and Yai got over the initial tension point when they made out at the end of Episode 7. Without saying a word, we know Jom is In To This Kiss, because he immediately fixes his lips around Yai’s upper lip. Jom meanwhile is standing almost ramrod stiff and straight like he usually does

@shortpplfedup says when she’s looking at kisses, she’s looking for sticky kisses. My own interpretation of sticky kisses includes moments like in The Eclipse where there is a little line of spit that keeps the kiss lingering for just a second more. In this case, what I would personally consider a sticky kiss is a result of Yai pulling at Jom’s lower lip when Jom pulls his head back slightly for some air and to change the angle of his head. There is no space between them, in fact Yai so thoroughly wants to fuck Jom, that Jom is almost tipping over with how much Yai is trying to press them together. Yai’s hand is roaming, moving up and down Jom’s arm, while Jom is standing there, his hands are still, one wrapped around Yai’s arm, one resting at his neck. Jom is meeting all of Yai’s energy and excitement by standing firm. Because if he did not, it’s possible he’d topple over.

And as characters this makes sense. Jom has been in at least one relationship before, there is no way he hasn’t been sexually active in the past. Jom is the more experienced one in this relationship, and so he is going to have to be the support Yai leans on for his first sexual encounter, even if we don’t see that far in to their evening. 

gif by @alejunsu

And this works for Yai and Jom’s characterization as well. Jom was the one with more hesitations around beginning a relationship with Yai. Jom is much more tuned in to the potential consequences of being queer in this time period. And it’s not that Yai isn’t, it’s just that he’s much more caught up in his own little world, and his feelings for Jom that he isn’t as rigid about how he engages in intimacy. 

This kiss is tight, and solid, and you can hear the breathiness between them when they start the kiss. It’s believably impactful to them, as in the combination of eye contact, touch, posture, and even breath here makes me believe they are attracted to each other, and really fucking horny. And I swear I can almost feel Yai and Jom’s heart rates increase with how well Bright and Nonkul are selling this performance.

Yai is ready to fuck like, yesterday, but Jom doesn’t want him completely rushing in to the sex, and I can tell this because Jom pulls back, breaks off the kiss, and starts talking to Yai about the rain, about the party, these little reminders that they have places to be, and people to see, and they can’t afford to get caught. Bright’s face here, in the moments right after Jom pulls away are so intense. The way he furrows his brow ever so slightly. The way his eyes are see in to Jom, the parting of his lips. Bright is, to me, selling extremely well the fact that despite the fact they have once again separated, Yai is still in that kiss. And there is this beautiful little moment from Nonkul too where he breathes out like his mouth is on fire or he’s trying to catch his breath. Nonkul has Jom pat Yai’s arm once, because he’s trying to lighten the mood a little bit, to put more emotional space between them. Jom is the one stopping the kiss, Nonkul is the one that has to sell the idea that Jom is both slowing down the encounter, and also still worrying about being caught. 

And you know where Yai’s response is going to go “Forget it, Jom. Now there’s only two of us in the house“ because of the intensity by which Yai looks at Jom. He’s transfixed, and during this conversation with Jom, Yai’s eyes constantly slip downwards towards Jom’s lips, like…practically every second. Yai goes in to continue that kiss, with an intensity that I do not think he’s ready for when it comes to actually having sex for the first time. In part because this kid does not know what he is doing, and Jom does. And Jom hasn’t had sex for quite some time because he was in a monogamous relationship with a partner who was overseas. So he puts his hand up to Yai’s face, and presses in gently, making a little hmm sound as he does it. 

gif by @charlidos

Again, Nonkul keeps Jom stiff, his fingers are all straight, there is not even a whisper of a relaxed curve to them. Which tracks for Jom, because everything we have ever seen in the way Jom exists, in the way Jom moves, is very rigid. And it stops Yai immediately. Jom is looking straight at Yai, and Yai is looking straight at Jom’s lips. But this entire action feels familiar and comfortable because they have developed a trust in one another, and because Yai cares enough about Jom to stop and listen at the slightest indication. Yai pulls back and that’s where Nonkul helps assert that Jom is in fact on the same page, is interested and enthusiastic about having sex with Yai, and he’s just trying to shift the energy and speed of their encounter, because the second Yai stops, and Jom is about to offer up a suggestion, Nonkul turns Jom’s gaze directly to Yai’s lips and he lets them linger there for far too long, his fingers too continue to rest gently on Yai’s lips long after they are needed.

Jom doesn’t look Yai in the eyes again until he says “You’re soaking wet, Khun Yai. Why don’t you let me undress you, so you don’t catch cold?” Jom leans in closer when he says this, he whispers in a way that is intended to seduce Yai. And we see some more physical changes in the way Nonkul is carrying Jom. Jom’s eyes are alight and happy, there is this soft and extremely fond smile turning up the edges of his lips. And we see him relaxing slightly in to this moment because his fingers finally relax and curl up in their resting place on Yai’s shoulder. 

Nonkul has Jom slightly shifting his head so Jom is looking up at Yai more through the top of his eyelashes to be more alluring. He has this soft, fond smile on his face. And it is in the motions and movements like this one where I see what Nonkul was saying about this being the most femme he has ever had to perform (even though, I think we can all agree Jom isn’t really femme). Bright has Yai pick up that small smile too, and he shows that Yai is indeed very interested in Jom helping remove his clothes, because Bright ensures that Yai cannot stop looking at Jom’s lips. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

You should watch this clip

And just like that Jom has changed the pace of the evening. With a little whisper, and with some very slow, intentional movements in the way he takes off Yai’s tux jacket. And because Yai and Jom have had so much physical space between them for the past thirty seconds, it is time to re-establish Yai and Jom’s needs for physical closeness. Bright and Nonkul establish a sense of familiarity and comfortability in how Yai and Jom interact with each other’s bodies. Nonkul does so in the way he has Jom pull Yai close to him to take off his bowtie. It is almost as if they are hugging one another, and in part they are, or at least they are providing each other a little space to rest. 

And we know their arousal, their desire to fuck isn’t stalled or stunted by any interruption. Jom pumps the brakes a bit, but their desire, their attraction, is palpable. And that vibe is assisted by Bright having Yai lean in deeper, by having Yai turn his head and move slowly toward Jom’s neck as if drawn by string or magnet while Jom is fiddling with his bowtie. And within the span of a few seconds, Yai goes from drinking in Jom’s scent to pressing a soft kiss or two to his neck. And Jom’s enjoyment of that action is shown in the way Nonkul has Jom close his eyes briefly in pleasure, and his head jerks a bit to the side as if allowing Yai better access to his neck while he’s fiddling with the clasp of Yai’s bowtie. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The seduction continues as Nonkul and Bright ensure their characters do not break eye contact one the bowtie comes off. I don’t even really know how they are doing it, but there is such a clear internal monologue of impure thoughts cycling through both their heads as Jom starts unbuttoning the collar of Yai’s shirt, while Jom’s still staring, eyes shining brightly, directly at Yai. And Bright plays Yai’s impatience very well, because he lets Yai still wait calmly, while also showing Yai cannot bare to be this far apart (like…two inches) from Jom, so he rests a hand on Jom’s neck creating a moment of skin to skin contact, but he has to take Jom in so he only lets his hand stay for a second, before he’s moving it in lines around Jom’s body.

Here again, is why I pay so much attention to their hands. Because Yai has been the far more relaxed character, and so when he puts his hand on Jom’s neck, his fingers curve, when he traces lines down Jom’s torso, his hand is curled almost into a fist. And there is just this beautiful moment of observation to me, where Jom begins to remove Yai’s pants, and is focused on the task, and Yai is just watching Jom, watching him focus. It is only when the pants have been unbuttoned that Yai joins Jom in looking downwards. 

These characters cannot help but be drawn to each other, the tension between them is building and builidng and Bright and Nonkul show that by having Yai and Jom get, with Jom’s eyes closed, so close to one another they could have stolen a kiss. So close in fact that their torsos are touching, they are pressed up against each other while Jom works pulling Yai’s pants down. And even if they don’t bring their faces together, they don’t steal those kisses, they don’t break the tension, they are certainly breathing each other’s air. 

“Let me do the same for you,” Yai says and God these two are so good at making their need for each other palpable. As Yai begins to unbutton Jom’s shirt both Yai and Jom’s eyes are moving rapidly, up, down, up, down, lower, lowerrr, back together, glued to the other’s face. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Jom gives the shyest smile at having Yai care for him, concerned about Jom catching a fever, and being oh so careful with removing his shirt. And here we see Nonkul allow Jom to relinquish some control and let go of some tension in the evening, because Jom drops his hand from Yai’s chest and let’s Yai unbutton and pull off his shirt. A moment for Yai to stand on his own, rather than to have support from Jom like he has had during their kiss and during their foreplay as it were. Yai moves for Jom’s pants, removes them, and they are soaking each other in, reveling in the feeling of one another. But we can’t have Jom wait too long for physical contact, because we want these characters to touch each other, because these characters want to touch each other. So we get a beautiful moment of Jom’s hands coming to wrap around Yai’s wrist, once again relaxed, and we see the band Yai tied around Jom’s wrist in Episode 2, a tangible, visible, item that reminds us all of their connection. 

I think we joke a lot about “exploring each other’s bodies” as a line. But that is objectively what they are doing here, in this gorgeous gorgeous moment of hands, of fingers sliding all over each other. They are gentle, light, and I can easily get the sense through the screen that their skin is on fire wherever they’re bodies have met. And Bright adds a piece of characterization to Yai, by having Yai hold Jom’s hand the same way that he did when he was drunkenly reciting poetry with the biggest heart eyes the world has ever seen. And he is doing the thing that, in my opinion, makes or breaks the believability of attraction, care, or romance between characters, which is that Bright has Yai move his thumb, drawing these tight little lines on the top of Jom’s hand while they are holding hands. It is truly not much of an understatement at all to say that if two characters are holding hands, I will be looking to see what their hands are doing. Are they staying stationary, or are there these little absentminded movements that sell the idea that these characters are thinking about each other, and enjoying the feeling of one another, rather than just performing the action of holding hands. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

In case we ever wanted to underestimate the importance of microexpressions and micromovements, we can’t, those are the things that really make or break a performance. (And for those who may have difficulty reading facial expressions, I get you, trust me, I’ve said it before but it can be really really hard for me to read microexpressions in actors, which is why I will often rewatch scenes, or watch other shows the actors or in, or like I did for this write up I slowed that shit down to half speed so I could watch for every movement, and rewound in 5 second intervals like 20 times to make sure I wasn’t missing anything.)

But they look like they are studying, committing to memory, Yai especially. Because while Nonkul has Jom spend most of this moment staring at one spot on Yai’s chest, Bright has Yai’s eyes follow the movement of his hands.Yai leans in and Nonkul has Jom swallow hard, and lean in slightly for a kiss. Bright has Yai keep moving, his lips locking on Jom’s shoulder, and moving up his neck, because the tension has almost reached its breaking point, and they both know what will happen the second their lips meet. So they delay, they let the tension build. They pull each other close, they hold each other tightly, you can see it in the way they move, the way their muscles tense. And as they face each other, with their desire finally starting to boil over, Yai works his way back to Jom’s lips slowly, he’s caught on to the pace Jom set. There is a light, soft, and quick kiss to Jom’s cheek, and then a second attempt by Yai to kiss Jom’s cheek or nose, that Nonkul interrupts by having Jom now be the impatient one, turning his head so Yai’s kiss slides to meet Jom’s upper lip. 

And then the tension finally breaks, the desire overwhelms them, and they are forceful with their kisses, and pulling each other close. Nonkul is showing how in to this Jom is in the way he lets Jom melt in to this kiss. How he has Jom pull himself so fully in to Yai’s arms, so they are chest to chest without any room between them. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

And Jom is kind of a tense and awkward person in general, so it makes so much sense to me, as a character that Jom’s fingers would at this point stay stiff and straight, because we are still progressing in to a part of the evening Yai may need more support in. Jom is certainly far more relaxed as a person when he’s with Yai, but I don’t think he would be fully able to relax in to the sex. Hell, he can’t even relax in bed afterwards because he sees himself in the mirror. But just in the way Jom holds himself, in the way Jom smiles, in the way he pulls Yai in, we know that being around Yai is changing him. That he is generally more relaxed when they share space, that he is happier when Yai is near, and we know that Jom is very ready to fuck, he’s just also more aware of the potential consequences of getting caught. 

Yai leads them to bed, and if we hold Jom and Jom’s posture as acting almost as a support for Yai, then it is very critical and important in my eyes, that Yai uses the bedpost to steady himself as he lays Jom out on the bed. Yai is learning how to support himself. Jom lays underneath him, and as far as we know he’s keeping his hands firmly on the back of Yai’s neck. Grasping on to him like he doesn’t want to let go, while Yai traces random lines across Jom’s arms, torso, and neck. And when they pull away, we know that Jom is very in to everything that is going on, and that he’s starting to lose himself a bit in the feeling of this, because Nonkul has Jom wait a few seconds to open his eyes and look up at Yai after they break apart. Meanwhile, Bright maintains Yai’s absolute obsession with Jom, by having Yai staring directly at Jom while Jom’s eyes are still closed. Study him, observing his reactions, ensuring that Jom is feeling pleasure. And the sexual tension isn’t ruined by yet another physical separation, even as they are not actively kissing in that moment, their progression towards sex does not feel like it is coming to an end. And that has to do with the fact that Jom is still running his hand along Yai’s neck, lacing his fingers through Yai’s hair, with his fingers relaxed.  

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

When they confess their love for one another, Nonkul has Jom swallow hard, hearing Yai tell him he loves him, fighting back a small smile. And Bright really commits to showing the intimacy that has developed between Jom and Yai in the way he has Yai press kisses to the inside of Jom’s palm, to his knuckles, up his arm, and back to his neck. And like I said above, Nonkul sells the effect of that electricity between Yai and Jom in these little micromovements, in the way Jom’s finger dig slightly in to Yai’s cheek, and the way his thumb twitches when Yai presses a kiss to his knuckles, and the way his fingers flex (a la Pride and Prejudice [2005] if you ask me). And he does the same as Yai kisses up his arm and to his neck, in the way Nonkul has Jom close his eyes, and press his lips together, and tilt his head slightly upwards.

And that’s it, that’s the entire nearly five minute scene. I promise I am trying to get better about my essay lengths, but I think the level of work that goes in to these moments are deserving of being discussed in detail. Nonkul in an interview said he views acting like a sport, and I think he’s fucking right. The level of knowledge and control you have over your body to sell scenes like this one, to make people believe in the romance, is super fucking hard. 

gif by @pharawee (using this gif as an example of a bunch of small movements Bright and Nonkul do that sell Yai and Jom's love for one another) I for one believe Jom and Yai love each other, want each other, are drawn to one another, and that is 100% because of Nonkul and Bright’s performances. And they have a really fucking hard job in part because Tee Bundit is not really a romance guy. Yai and Jom’s love for one another is the emotional backbone of this show, but the story isn’t focused on the romance itself, it’s focused on Jom’s experiences as a servant, on the struggles of being queer, on the mystery of how to get home, of past Jom being haunted by his present and present Jom being haunted by his past. There are so many moving pieces in this story, but we have to feel for these characters when they are inevitably separated. The way Nonkul and Bright play this scene, has thoroughly convinced me of the care they have for one another

[waitmyturtles]

BLUBBERING SPOILERS BELOW FOR I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR, EPISODE 12/FINALE:

YEAH. SO. YEAH. SO!

This can't be meta. I don't think I can conjure it. Just blather. I'll try to be sensible. First, a little housekeeping before we start the meeting:

We know there will be a special episode (the preview looks..... LIKE A GODDAMN HOLIDAY GIFT, GAAAAHHH).

Peeps are going back and forth on a second season, and while it seems that Nonkul Chanon blurted it out during the final episode fan meeting (lol you cute, Nonkul), Tee Bundit is rolling back a bit, *likely* due to funding. But seeing social media going absolutely INSANE over this ending, I can't imagine that Dee Hup will have any issue with finding the moolah for a second season -- especially after that after-credits scene, WITH HORSES, WITH MUSTACHES, WITH TATTOOS, WITH ARMOR, the whole thang. Tee let that shit hang all out like that. Warrior-era Thailand, let's m'fing go. That was a hell of a lead into a second season that may not happen, come awn.

Alright, with that out of the way:

I didn't think a show would top Moonlight Chicken for me this year, but IFYLITA is my top new drama of the year (with the HEAVY CAVEAT that I have not seen La Pluie yet -- that's for either after my Old GMMTV Challenge, or just making sure I watch it before year's end).

Part of the reason why I lost my gatdamn mind last week on episode 11 is that Tee Bundit did not interfere with any damn nonsense last week -- he let the episode's story unwind without any noise. He let the emotion roll.

The same light touch (or rather, a lack of interference) happened here, BUT: there was a LOT more happening firstly by way of closing some loops that were open, moving to new loops, and shedding more depth into Jom and Yai's final moments together

We got closure on Yai's dad, who was grumpily like, uhhh, I dunno what happened in my life, but yeah, daughter Eaung Peang, you go have a good life with Maey, crotchety crotch. I think that's the best we could get from politically involved dads of 1928 Chiang Mai. (EP AND MAEY SWINGING THEIR HANDS WHILE WALKING AWAY -- SAAAHHSHAY FROM ALL THAT, LADIES, SASHAY.) It looks like EP's herbal abortion left her safe -- thank goodness. We didn't see James or Ming this episode.

For loops that weren't closed, I'm not complaining, because we got an explanation for how Jom's beloved ones will repeat in his reincarnated futures and pasts, through the explanation of the northern Thai ceremony of having 32 blessings reinstated to you after illness or misfortune (THREE CHEERS for @blmpff for capturing screenshots of this explanation!). (AND THE WHITE THREAD, PEEPS, THE WHITE THREAD, I'm coming back to this in a second.) If we do get a season 2, then I will not be colored surprised if we see Ming and James in different roles. (And, yes. Your bitch here has relaxed on Pat's shooter, finally. My nose was trained on James being a colonialist interferer, but he did good last episode.)

But this episode belonged, of course, to Yai and Jom, their final moments together in 1928 Chiang Mai, saying the slow farewell as Jom slowly disappeared in front of Yai's eyes.

LORD. WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWW. The lacy fabric with which Yai used to cover the mirrors so that Jom wouldn't see himself fade away. The empathy of that. The scene where we heard their lovemaking over the flashbacks montage. WHEW. WHOA. (I did say, to my friend @shortpplfedup, something something Jom started really fading away after that intimate scene and something something had the ontology cough cough outta him, ANYWAY.)

The way that Yai pitched forward when Jom finally disappeared.

AND I MOTHERFUCKING SCREAMED WHEN JOM AND MUSTACHIOED YAI WERE ABOUT TO TOUCH INTO THE WATER AGAIN, AND THEN THE DIVER EMT WAS LIKE, BLOOP I'M HERE AND OH, JOM, YOU'RE ALIVE IN 2023. I yelped in the deli, shit. The way Jom was silently screaming in the water for Yai.

And, so. In the "present" day (present dimension, really), Jom survived that CRAAAAZY car accident (LIKE! WHAT?! He flew out of the car into the water, bros! The magic of fiction, anyway.)

He.......he holds space for Ohm?! Looking BACK on that scene, AFTER we get the explanation of the 32 blessings, we realize: despite Ohm's infidelity and his promise to a new woman, Ohm is still important in Jom's life -- he's still a beloved presence, as he did mean something, for a long time, to Jom. Of course, modern Jom did NOT let a moment to shade Ohm pass him by, oh no. But wasn't that interesting to note? That Jom's dimensions would allow Ohm to be in those dimensions -- that Ohm would be reincarnated through Jom's 32 blessings (at least in the past direction).

You know what I also loved about seeing Jom in his present-day apartment, with the present-day Jeed, Ohm, and Khaimuk (aka Fong Kaew). I LOVED WHAT THAT CASTING, THE SHIFTING OF THE CHARACTERS AND CHARACTERIZATIONS, SAID ABOUT JOM'S PERSPECTIVE OF EQUITY IN 1928 AND 2023.

Jeed is NOT Khun Eaung Peang. Jeed is ALL SASS. But Jeed is YOUNGER than Jom. Jom, in 2023, is P'Jom, with the honorific. Present-day Jom can smack his little sister's head in jest. Jeed can be OUT and SAFE and have a crush on her girl friend, safely, and can ask for her brother's support, OPENLY.

Jom never stopped being Jom, whether it was 2023 pre-accident, 1928, or 2023 post-accident. Jom is comfortable in his own skin, and wants happiness AND EQUITY for the people he loves around him. I love that the casting and characterizations of the incarnations of the characters reflect Jom's state of mind that all people are equal and the same, no matter a fancy honorific or a royally appointed residence.

I screamed at @shortpplfedup when I saw Jom wearing the white thread in bed during the thunderstorm. I stopped, rewound, and saw he was wearing the white thread in the water scene with Warrior Yai. The white thread never left his wrist -- he still has his blessings intact.

And, and, and, back to the house of Palanthip in 2023. Who's the lady of the house? This lady knows Jom's the only one who can open that chest. The chest opens, the drawings are there, THE PICTURE OF THEIR PARTY, AND THE LETTER FROM YAI TO JOM, THE LETTER, THE TEARS, AKSLKDF, AND, AND, AND --

Oh my god, I was crying, y'all. Shit. Just our confident dude, striding in, asking Jom, sweetheart, why are you crying. And Jom jumping into Yai's arms.

I was shaking my head. I mean. I love that we learned that Yai actually HAD HIS OWN BLESSINGS CEREMONY because he was so lost after Jom's departure. WE LEARNED ABOUT THE REST OF YAI'S LIFE. We know, now, that the Yai of 1928 yearned for Jom for the rest of his life. So much so that, at the twilight of the life of 20th-century Yai, that he had the good mind to leave Jom a letter, to let Jom know that his life was a good life, because Jom had been in it. To let Jom know that Yai's love had never faded away.

AND THEN THAT YAI CAME BACK TO JOM.

Jom, dude, you're a good dude, for these good people to be coming back to you, in dimension after dimension. That monk was right.

I told you this was just blathering; I can try to put some sensible thoughts together in a few days, but the structure of this story, the empathy of this story, the way this story was leveraged by drama and romance and HOPE. I mean. This series was utterly fantastic.

I know there's the lifelong debate of whether or not BLs "count" as queer media, and in many, many instances, they do. But since I've had the disappointment of Only Friends and GMMTV on my mind lately, I had to note, mentally, particularly during the lovemaking scene, and during the closure of this episode, that Tee really fucking handed it to anyone who criticizes BL as a not-as-sophisticated drama genre.

And you know what? I also wanna say that Tee fucking handed it to GMMTV as well. I am so DAMN glad this series was airing when Only Friends was airing. While Only Friends sat on the opportunity to present progressive ideas on queer love and queer community, IFYLITA ROLLED right into it.

(I'll ask @lurkingshan to fact-check me on the following:) Because this series was a historical drama with a queer romance centering it, I think Tee Bundit could feel free from the chains of BL tropes and expectations to do something truly singular. I felt that what I was watching was cinematic, it was moving, it was strikingly emotional, particularly because I felt that this show was showing me something that transcended any viewer's expectations of what we should be watching, as opposed to, say, a BL set in an office like Tee's Step By Step. Where that show fumbled was in the show itself not knowing if it was a workplace drama or a BL-centric romance.

IFYLITA knew what it was: a historical drama, certainly centering romance, but also balancing conversations about equity and wealth disparities across eras. With that uncomplicated centering, I think Tee Bundit made an absolutely BRILLIANT show, and it fucking WORKED.

I will scream to anyone who'll hear me. If you haven't watched I Feel You Linger In The Air yet, do it, PLEASE PLEASE. Y'all know I am an Aof Noppharnach girlie for life, and I LIVE FOR MOONLIGHT CHICKEN, I DO, I DO, all of my Asian references in MLC and the food and everything, god I loved that show, but --

IFYLITA was a cinematic masterpiece. Full stop. All hail @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan for telling me to keep with it after my Step By Step-PTSD. This show was worth every last minute I spent watching and writing on it.

Season 2, Warrior Yai, let's get him a better mustache -- let's FUCKING GO, BABIES.

P.S. BRIGHT AND NONKUL FOR LIFE, FOR LIFE!!!!!!! THE ACTING!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!

[twig-tea]

I am absolutely obsessed with how I Feel You Linger in the Air has managed to convey the critical and fulfilling nature of found family and queer community woven amongst this love story. The two dance sequences are so powerful; first they showed the Fantasy, in which everyone in high society including Yai's family would clap and cheer their romance as they dance in structured ballroom steps and perfect tuxes, and then in today's episode we got the Reality, which is so much cozier, in which they are surrounded only by the people they love and trust, regardless of class, and they aren't putting on a show, they're just being themselves in cozy sweaters, swaying in one another's arms, while the people who care about their happiness watch them and are glad that they are happy.

When you've experienced exclusion, it makes you purposeful about who and what you include and what you work towards. And it doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt that we are excluded from some of those spaces, but focusing on what we can have and have built for ourselves is important. The spaces we build for ourselves are better than the spaces society tells us we should aspire to be in.

[bengiyo]

I Feel You Linger in the Air Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Jom, his friends, and their allies teamed up to expose Dech and Robert and their cruelest abuses. We then spent most of the episode wrapping up a lot of plot threads. Most everyone has either moved on or is okay for now. Maey is back with Euangphueng, Ming is fine, the mom is rebelling in her own way, etc. Yai is going to France and expects Jom to stay here and wait for him, which made me immediately dissociate. Also, Jom's starting to disappear in images and mirrors and we don't know why.

I like that Yai is skeptical, but can comprehend some of what Jom is saying about himself. Yai may not be good at practical things, but he's a thinker.

Nonkul is really good, and you can feel the complex emotions coming off of Jom as he can finally talk about what he's been experiencing openly.

Okay, Bright has cake.

This is the same team that had a woman give birth, with her jeans on, in the back of a truck earlier this year. I hope they handle this pregnancy plot better.

Why does the subber keep adding Khun to Euangphueng's name when Maey doesn't say it, but doesn't add it to Yai's name when Jom usually says it?

Okay, I really like them articulating the long-term pain and suffering Euangphueng is dreading.

That Fong Kaew scene with Khamsaen was so good. She's worrying about EP and he's convinced himself that Robert didn't touch her, but we know the implications of him making her bleed when he does himself on her.

Bright and Nonkul are so good together. There was no dialogue in this soft montage of Jom redoing the drawings, but you could feel the wistfulness that Jom might disappear at any moment. It's not easy for some pairs to do the 'being together' part really well, but these two are hitting that beautifully. Now that the stresses have been removed, they are clearly in love and a team.

I really love the relationship that has formed between Fong Kaew and Euangphueng. EP is making a very difficult decision and I like the way Fong Kaew's supporting her. It's also interesting to see Maey worry about the karma of getting an abortion as a reason to raise the child.

Yai is reading The Time Machine by H.G. Wells!!!

Not that the monk is wrong about them having no control over this phenomenon, but they could also maybe keep track of the rate at which Jom's reflection is vanishing and see if they could predict the number of days.

There is a melancholy hanging over this that works so well, because Jom basically has a terminal condition that will strike at any moment and permanently end this relationship.

Poor Ming. He's losing all of his friends.

Wow, this farewell party reminds me of the stories shared with me about someone getting an AIDS diagnosis before we had anything resembling effective treatment. Throwing a party before their health plummets to say goodbye.

And now they're dancing as everyone reminisces. I'm just gonna cry thanks.

Jom isn't going to be in this photo and we're all gonna be sad.

Okay, the letter broke me. How many queer lives have been lost to time because we couldn't preserve their stories. I am so invested in this letter now.

If Jom vanishes after he reads this letter I will be crushed.

They ended the episode on the almost faded photo!!!!!

I feel so heavy after that episode. Nonkul and Bright really did the damn thing this week. You can feel the ache the entire time. That party was one of the most beautiful things I've experienced in genre in a while. This show is really special.

[neuroticbookworm]

Social Class Commentary in I Feel You Linger In The Air, episode 5

I Feel You Linger In The Air continues to blow my mind week after week (I love you, Yai and his pink pants), but today's episode was especially brilliant with its commentary on oppression across social class, and how people react and adapt to it.

Prik has been a potential problem lurking in the plot's background, as she seemed to enjoy the privilege of being a senior servant in the household. Combined with her old school opinions, she could've posed a serious threat to Yai and Jom's romance in the future. But this episode gave her a wake up call and showed her exactly where her place is and how much power she actually has -- absolutely none. She had to rely on the kindness of a man who was willing to stick his neck out for her so she can visit her dying mother, the same man on whom she had placed zero trust in the past.

And on the other end of this social class spectrum, we have FongKaew and her place in the house, and how she chose to remedy that. When I saw her dyeing the dress blood red and decking it with black lace, I was sure that she was in her Black Widow era and that Robert is gonna meet the Reaper in his bed tonight. But no, she is, at least for the time being, choosing to work with the situation she's currently in, and seduces Robert in the hopes that it'll lift her place in the hierarchy of the household. And it does.

But the absolutely stunning revelation in all this was the implication that Eueng Phueng and Maey were actively involved in making FongKaew Robert's second wife, so that Eueng Pheung can be free of his sadist ways. What an absolutely brilliant way to highlight how even the most seemingly well meaning upperclass folks are only capable of seeing their servants as a means to their ends, people whose lives can be played with, to make their own lives easier. And no, the cruelty doesn't stop there. They then have the audacity to judge the methods people like Fongkaew have to use to survive the wretched situations that were forced on them.

It is also noteworthy that these themes of power and obedience were explored exclusively with the women in the show, who, irrespective of the social class they're in, will always be placed beneath the men of their group. These women can claim faux superiority, try to climb social ranks, and scheme against each other, but in the end, they would all be considered lesser, inferior and submissive to the men of the time. I only hope that they soon realise this truth and stand with each other, instead of playing short lived games that every women would eventually lose.

In clown collaboration with @lurkingshan

[lurkingteapot]

The poem Khun Yai recites to Jom at the end of ep 4 is from นิราศภูเขาทอง Golden Mountain Niraat, which has been called the best niraat ever written, by สุนทรภู่ Sunthorn Phu (or Phra Sunthonwohan, as Jom calls him respectfully), THE niraat poet.

ไม่เมาเหล้าแล้วแต่เรายังเมารัก สุดจะหักห้ามจิตคิดไฉน ถึงเมาเหล้าเช้าสายก็หายไป แต่เมาใจนี้ประจำทุกค่ำคืนฯ

translated in the show as

Not a drop of liquor to interfere, drunk on love's celestial bliss I've tried to resist this sweet intoxication no matter how drunk I am, sobriety comes with the morning light Drunk on love, my heart undone every night.

From what I gather, niraat are a type of lyrical poetry that deal with topics of journeying/travelling and separation from loved ones.

I'm not a literary scholar and still speak and read only very little Thai, so take this definition with a huge grain of salt, but I have a feeling that, in localisation terms, boy was basically quoting a Shakespearean sonnet at Jom. He's down bad.

And Jom gets the reference and lets Khun Yai know. I'm guessing that if he was trying to not appear cultured, he failed again.

[pharawee]

As it turns out, I unfortunately don't have the time to both gif I Feel You Linger in the Air and write commentary (also, it kind of feels like cheating since I've read the novel and know what's going to happen. I've read some of my mutuals' theories but joining in on the conversation kind of feels like ruining people's fun 😔).

That being said, I love the novel not just as a BL novel but as a beautifully written and crafted (and translated - it comes with so many footnotes!) story in general. Definitely check out the official translation if you like IFYLITA and want to support its writer. It's well worth the money.

I've written before that I was very curious about how the series would approach the way the novel almost treats the past as its own character. Descriptions of history and culture and architecture (and language but unfortunately some of that gets lost in translation by necessity) are so vivid and colourful, and it's such a big part of why I love the novel so much.

You'd need a huge budget (and lots of cgi) to translate this attention to detail into visual form - to the point where it would probably detract from the story itself - but IFYLITA found such an amazing workaround that adds so much depth and colour to the narrative: instead of relying on the environment to tell a story about the past it concentrates on the characters itself.

And tbh at first I was a bit irritated by the large cast of secondary characters (most of which exist only at the very fringes of the story in the novel) because I thought it would take away from Jom and Yai's story. There's an episode early on where 20+ minutes pass without either of them appearing or being talked about.

Only, the story as it exists in the series would simply not have the same impact without Ming and his aging mother, or Fongkaew's tragic backstory, or Prik's family background, or Ueangphhueng and Mei's quiet love story, or the sympathy the series extends towards characters like Khamsaen and James (Robert can get f'ed in both the novel and the series though). It's the intricacy of their relationships and social standing that paints a picture that's just as vivid and vital as Jom's observations of the past in the novel - and I love that. It's such a natural, visual way of storytelling and it complements the novel incredibly well. It's like the novel offers an inside look through Jom's perspective, and the series provides an outside look through showing the characters and their lives.

There's so many other things I'd love to write about eventually (like how the series portraits Yai when in the book we almost always view him through Jom's eyes, or how the series visualises the mystery and horror of Jom's time travel, or how both novel and series treat karma) but giffing comes first because silly moving images is what I'm here for. 🙏

[mygwenchan]

Predictions for I Feel You Linger In The Air - About Time Travel and Reincarnations

So I think a lot of us are eager to find out if Jom and Yai will get their happy ever after or if we'll all we swept away in a flood of tears. I thought about it too and if I'm right, both outcomes will come true!

There are two driving forces at play in the world of "I feel you linger in the air":

1. A time loop in which Jom travels to the past without the ability to change the events.

2. Characters from the past can also be found in present times, they seem to have been reincarnated.

Let's take a closer look at point 1 first: Why it is a time loop you ask and not a concept in which the fate of each character has not yet been predetermined (aka the "Back to the Future" concept of time travel)? The answer is simple: Because Jom can see himself as a ghost both in the present and the past. Jom first encounters his own ghost image before he makes his trip to 1920s Thailand and then experiences the same situations again from the other side of the mirror when he's stuck in the past. At the beginning of the series Jom also finds the sketches that were created by him in the past. While in the past, Jom doesn't change these sketches, he recreates them exactly as he saw them in 2023. This means that Jom was always meant to go back in time. He has to go, because he has already been there. It's a so called causal time loop and it cannot be broken (aka the "12 Monkeys" concept of time travel).

Eventually Jom will have to go back to present times. It's already been hinted at when he saw his ghost-self picking up the little pocked watch that Yai gave him. This scene didn't happen in the beginning of the series, which means it didn't happen before Jom travelled back to the past. It has to happen after Jom gets back to his own time. So actually we have three time strings here: 1. Jom from the beginning of the series who lives in present times, 2. Jom who is currently stuck in the past, 3. A future version of Jom who will at some point go back to his own time to find the pocket watch again.

Now if Jom goes back, how can he and Yai ever be happy together, you ask? Well they can and they can't! This is where point 2 of the concept behind "I feel you linger in the air" comes into play. We already know that at least some of the characters in this series have two versions: one in the past and one in present times. But different from Jom, these people have not travelled back and forth in time, which leads me to believe that they must be reincarnations (like in "Until we meet again" but without the change of physical appearance). So if side characters have two versions, the main characters surely must have them as well, right? The time loop makes it impossible for past!Yai and present!Jom to be together, but I think it will enable them to meet their fated lovers from the right time line. Jom has to travel to the past and then come back in order to meet Yai's reincarnation in present times (is it the guy with the mustache?). And equally Yai from the past has to first meet present!Jom so he can then later on fall in love with a Jom from his own time. So while we might not get the current couple, we will most likely get two main couples instead :)

[hoppipolla]

As early as episode 1, the drama has established that most characters rely on their sense of touch, especially Jom and Yai. Beyond the simple aesthetic of it all, the emphasis on hands is inherent to the way the characterisation is structured. 

The close intimacy between Jom and Yai during their sex scene is made possible thanks to the way their hands convey what they are feeling. 

Yai desires Jom and the way he reaches for Jom’s face as Jom is getting him undressed shows both his impatience and his overwhelming yearning. During this scene, Yai is battling between his physical desire and the fascination he feels towards Jom. His kisses are ardent but also gentle, like when he kisses the hollow of Jom’s shoulder or his neck. His eyes linger on every inch of Jom’s body, his hands slowly slide down Jom’s arms: he is mesmerised. And so is Jom whose expression is quite indescribable: a mix of quiet desire and deep love. 

Although the sexual tension is high, there’s a slowness to the scene that I feel grateful for. The directing lets the characters discover each other’s bodies and it’s so beautiful. 

Jom closing his eyes as he lets Yai’s kisses take him whole emphasises how he gives priority to his sense of touch, making him feel so tangibly Yai’s love for him. 

The two of them drawing each other near in a tight embrace before Yai guides Jom to the bed, doing so without ever breaking their kiss, seems to show how their bodies mirror their feelings. 

Just like @lurkingshan beautifully said in this post, Bright and Nonkul’s seemingly natural chemistry contributes to building such a real feeling of intimacy which is at the core of the story for the two of them (their characters) feel as if they’ve known each other forever. As the monk said, they are destined to meet each other and who knows how many times they’ve already met before? 

When Jom goes back to the past and sees Yai for the “first time”, their world collides and their hearts recognise each other although their minds are at a loss. Memories come flooding back but they can’t quite understand where they come from. 

This irresistible attraction they feel towards each other cannot be expressed in other ways than knowing glances and subtle touches and the directing of this series does both amazingly.

[absolutebl]

I Feel You Linger In the Air

You ready for this?

The quickest of quick thoughts: I loved this show and hated the ending, but not for the reason you think.

This is gonna be one of my big meta beast-sized posts, skip to the end for the final review.

Some Historical Context for I Feel You Linger In The Air - Thailand 1925-1932

I love history and so here's some info that any Thai watcher would likely know, but the rest of us might not... ready?

The Historical Stage:

Burma (now Myanmar) to the west is occupied by the British.

The French hold Vietnam to the east.

Everyone is bickering over what would become Cambodia & Laos.

China occasionally gets involved from the North (also, lots of immigrants from China at this time accounting for a large percentage of the merchant/middle class)

Eventually, Japan would invade during WWII.

In part, The Kingdom of Siam was kept a "neutral" party because none of the surrounding colonial powers wanted to risk offending any of the other players in the area.

Siam re-negotiated sovereignty in 1920 (from USA) and in 1925 (from France & Britain). But during the time of this show (late 1929) it was back to it's customary type-rope balancing act of extreme diplomacy with the allied western colonial powers that surrounded it.

Recognizing that Thailand was never colonized (although it was invaded), it's boarders were constantly nibbled at and it was "ambassador-occupied" off and on by westerners whose military backing and exploitive business concerns simply outmatched the monarchy, especially in the technology department (as well as by reputation on the global stage at the time).

In other words, the farang in this show (James & Robert) were always gonna be both the baddies and the power players of the narrative. (Farang is the Thai word for non-Thai's of European descent, the word means guava.)

The king of Siam at the time (Vajiravudh AKA Rama VI) was initially somewhat popular but also regarded as overly extravagant since Siam had been hit by a major postwar recession in 1919. It should also be noted that King Vajiravudh had no son because he was most likely gay (which at the time did not much concern the Siamese popular opinion, except that it undermined the stability of the monarchy leaving it without an heir).

He "died suddenly" in 1925 (age 44) with the monarchy weakened and succession handed off to his younger brother.

In 1932 a small circle of the rising bourgeoisie (all of whom had studied in Europe, mostly Paris), supported by some military, seized power from the monarchy in a practically nonviolent Siamese Revolution installing a constitutional monarchy. This is mentioned in IFYLITA in the last few episodes but did not (apparently) appear in the original novel.

Siam would then go through:

dictatorship,

WWII,

Japanese invasion,

Allied occupation,

democratic elections,

military junta,

the Indochina wars,

communist insurgency,

more democracy and popularization movements,

multiple coups,

more junta,

more monarchy,

eventually leading us to the somewhat chaotic insanity of Thai politics we have today. (Which is, frankly, a mix of monarchy, junta, democracy, egocentric popularism, and bribery.)

The Filming of I Fell You Linger in the Air

The director if this show, Tee Bundit (Hidden Agenda, Step by Step, Lovely Writer, TharnType), has never particularly impressed or offended me as a director. I would have called him simply "workmanlike" in execution: not offensive, serviceable.

So much so that I spent some time hunting for info on IFYLITA's cinematographer (who remains uncredited on MDL) because this one, of all Tee's pantheon, is ultra stylish. It, frankly, felt too good for him.

Specifically, there is a repeated visual motif in intimacy scenes of either Yai or Jom being filmed from behind a screen/drape/curtain making them seem more translucent, like a ghost or spirit. While the other half of the pair is filmed with sharp clarity. In the first half of the series this is more likely to be Yai (an unknown and mysterious element), as the show progresses, it's more likely to be Jom (the person outside of place and time, destined to vanish all together). This cleverly conveys story, tension, and foreshadow (future shadow?)

Occasionally we shift over so they both become obscured and then clear again.

This stylized version of dirty framing and filters is used to foreshadow and then constantly remind us about that Jom slipped (and is slipping) through time and the disconnect that causes to his sense of reality and purpose, and to his burgeoning relationship.

For example, the scene where Yai is drunk and asleep in his bed. The first time Jom is sitting in a chair drawing him. Yai is blurry behind the screen while Jom is solid and sharp.

This filming technique combined with dirty and peekaboo framing is being used to give the watchers the impression of looking at something we maybe shouldn't, like we are being creepy and intruding on their private time. After all, they can see EACH OTHER clearly, it's only us who have the visual impairment.

This gives us a sense of doom and discomfort and slight sensation that we shouldn't be there. We shouldn't be watching. But ALSO that we too are outside of time, filtered by the future.

In other words his sense of displacement is being used to trigger ours visually.

It's all quite clever.

It's both beautiful and atmospheric and discomforting and touch stressful. Meaning that it is ALSO a visual vehicle to drive narrative tension. As effective as scary music, perhaps more so in this show (since I personally found the musical motifs and refrains somewhat overused.)

Linguistic corner

The word for reflection and shadow is the same in Thai.

Note on the por/phor/phô honorific in Thai

I have not encountered it before in BL. I am indebted to @embraceyourfandom for the following information;

Phô is a paternal honorific, luang phô is used for respected monks. It basically means father. And is oft seen as male honorific for village elders. It's also used as a male prefix in the names of several occupations like:

พ่อครัว phô khrua (khrúa= kitchen -> chef)

พ่อค้า phô khá (khá= trade -> merchant)

พ่อมด phô mót (mót= person of occult knowledge -> wizard)

พ่อบ้าน phô bân (bân =house -> butler) - most relevant

So, Yai's use is probubly foreshadowing that Jom will be a butler for his house, and is primitively referring to him with this title.

All that said, phô can also be used by a "man who is older/higher on hierarchy to refer to a younger/lower on hierarchy man with intimacy and/or affection."

I think all this has to do with Jom's demonstration of education. Yai figured out early on that one of the reasons Jom doesn't belong and cannot fit in with the servants is that he is more educated than a peasant (of this time period), which for Yai adds up to him being originally from a higher status and possibly wealthy family, especially since Jom speaks English and has travelled (he has a non-northern accent).

There is very little Thai middle class at the beginning of the 1920s since trade is being dominated/dictated by the West, or Chinese merchant operations, and Siam is a monarchy. So for a nationalize Thai citizen educated means military, landed gentry with trade operations (like Yai), royal/political/diplomatic connections, or... none of the above. This changes, especially in the south, throughout this decade (as it did in other parts of the world). So there is a rising bourgeoisie going on in the background but it's not that obvious in Chang Mai at this time.

What Jom's educated lack of status means to Yai is that Jom's family either got wiped out or politically disenfranchised possibly as part of the 1912 attempted coups (or even WWI)? This would be mystifying for Yai because Jom doesn't act like he comes from a military family at all. So his background and status is very confusing for Yai, but Yai does know one thing...

Jom is NOT lower class by the standards of Yai's temporal worldview and existence.

For a young man to be educated and yet entirely alone is very dangerous and suspicious. Also, let's be clear, Jom doesn't look or act like a laborer. He red flags "cultured" all over the place.

Yai is paternalistic and caring towards Jom out the gate because Yai has a big ol'crush but also because he recognizes "his own" is trying to survive while isolated and scared.

Yai wants to rescue Jom. Yai is an ineffectual 20 year old gay intellectual. But poor thing sure tries.

Let's Talk About How I Felt About I Feel You Linger in the Air

The historical aspect was great.

I adore historical romances and we almost never get them in BL. I was always gonna be biased towards this show. (As indeed I am towards Nobleman Ryu's Wedding, Tinted with You, and To Sir With Love.) Aside from some classic Thai BL production issues (less than normal, this is very high production value for Thailand) and my issues around the sound track and repetitive repriens (which frankly were more noticeable because I binged the last half) I have no complaints on that score (heh heh).

The surrounding support cast were all quite good and we even got us some lesbians!

The emotional and narrative tensions were excellent.

Any issues I had with pacing came from focus on characters that didn't interest me, but probubly did interest others. I wasn’t wild or particularly interested in the family drama or the side characters/couples, but they were necessary to make this a fully fleshed story with historical context and to give Yai much needed characterization. Also this use of a ensemble cast is very close to Thailand's lakorn heart, even thought this one had way less scenery chewing ludicrous soapy drama (thank heavens).

I was delighted that external threat, stressors, and conflict drove this plot. That's refreshing in BL.

I have no arguments with the chemistry and kisses and sex scenes were tasteful and lovely, occasionally even heart-wrenching, and it's nice to see Thailand especially use physical intimacy to drive plot, and not the other way around.

I love historicals partly because every tiny touch can have such lingering significance, they're very elegant in their chaste physicality. This show didn't need to move into higher heat, but I'm grateful it did because even that was very well done. Thai BLs can often feel clumsy around intimacy, but not this one.

The final sex scene before Jom and Yai separate forever utilizes the ubiquitous director's-favorite-romantic-moments-flashbacks (required of all Asian romance dramas) but with acceleration and tension driven by the noises of sex, which I've never seen/heard done before. In other words: climax of sex = climax of the romance story, I see what you did there, Tee. Clever. Very clever. Bit on the nose… erm… on the… well you know what I mean.

Like all Thai BLs this wasn’t perfect, but for me this is as close as Thai BL gets to high quality romance and that’s what I want the most from my drama watching experience (if not necessarily my Thai BL experience).

But... and you knew the but was coming didn't you?

I absolutely hated the ending.

It wasn't sad, don't worry, but it also wasn't good.

There is a long drawn out separations sequence and then Jom returns to the present, drowning from a car accident. Jom is "rescued" by an moustachioed iteration of Yai from the distant past (who we met once before) and then wakes in hospital. Some time later, Jom returns to the house in Chang Mai where Yai turns up and they reunite.

The end.

There is a stinger featuring Jom once more hurled back in time, only further, meeting the warrior mustache Yai once more.

Okay, that's all I knew and all I saw.

Confused? So was I.

If this had been a regular time travel romance: Yai would have been the EMT or doctor attending Jom when he woke up and their "this time period" romance would commence. With either shared memories, or not.

Had this been set up for audience comprehension in line with the original novel, we should have had flashbacks from both Present Yai (he's not the same one, as it turns out) and deep-past Moustache Yai interwoven throughout the series. Preferably with some focus on Present Yai's quest for reunion with Present Jom AND Present Yai's own experience with visions and memory of his past lives.

A full explanation of the ending is here. This explanation of the 3 different Yais makes me like our ending more. But I shouldn't need to read Cliff's notes from some random y-novel reading fan on Tumblr to understand what's going on in a series!

There is supposedly a special happening with Jom + Present Yai.

There was unquestionably a failure in adaptation in the finale of this show.

As a fan and watcher, what I actually felt was deeply confused and hurt.

I also felt that this was a disingenuous un-earned throw away happy ending, since I had no idea who this new Present Yai was and no investment in his character. I simply didn't believe he was the same Yai (Bright is too good an actor, he was clearly a different older personality).

So the fact remains that past Yai, our Yai, the 20 year old boy we grew to understand and love, is abandoned in the past to suffer alone for the rest of his life. And THAT is an unhappy ending for one half of my beloved pair. Yes Jom gets a new Yai in the present day, but it's not the same Yai. They have no developed relationship, and Jom is doomed to leave even this new Yai and slide into the past once more. That's barely even happy for now for Jom's character.

As a result of my deep sadness for 20-year-old Yai in particular, I'm not going to be able to rewatch this show. The whole thing was rendered not just confusing but the opposite of comforting by the final 15 minutes. I'm tempted to dock it two whole points - one for the ending and the other for the lack of rewatch potential.

But the first 11.5 eps were SO GOOD.

This is one of the only times where I am actually hoping for a second season, while simultaneously being wary of the screen writing and production team's capacity to give us a satisfying one.

Industry wise? I honestly don't think we can hope too hard for a full season 2. This was an expensive show with flawed/limited distribution and little sponsorship. I don't see how they'll get funding for a second season. Unless we see this show up on like Netflix or Viki, I urge you not to hope too hard and be disappointed.

In all honestly?

I started typing up this blog post thinking Thailand was finally, after 5 years, going to earn another 10/10 from me but I just can't in good conscious give it that. It's been days and I'm still upset about that last episode.

And Now My Quick Pitch Review

I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. 9/10

(source)

This post is also in My Drama List as a review.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps Rose Tinted Glasses It's been three months since I made a post thanking this community for being a place for me to share my love of BL.

And since then, every day I feel a little bit more comfortable here.

This place is so special to me for so many reasons and the fact that I found it is a small miracle. I was talking with my friend Neely about something BL related and they told me that they think I'm doing much better since I came here. So thanks again.

I was never a part of any online fandom. And before BL I never really felt like I was missing something. Maybe because I always found someone irl that I could freak out about whatever I was watching I never really felt the need to go look.

And the people here are exceptionally kind. Before, I made a point to never engage much online, except for certain support groups, because of the hate that sometimes exists in certain spaces. So I was very much surprised by the kind humans that exist in this bl fandom in this corner of the internet.

Also. There is some serious brilliant people here. Look giffing is not easy, it takes a long time, sometimes you spend so much time with a set only to hate it by the end and never posting it. And sometimes you post something and you're really proud and crickets. And sometimes you post it just so it doesn't go to waste and all of a sudden it explodes. It's all part of the magic.

I keep my sets pretty simple so I'm in awe of how some people make these beautiful art pieces with layers and colouring and typography. It's incredible and I applaud your creativity and patience.

Speaking of brilliance, I'm constantly in awe of the meta writers. That shit is not easy.

It takes way longer than we think, to make it neat and readable, adding gifs or shots to illustrated a point, sometimes wasting so much time finding the gif you want in the mess that is the gif search (I understand it now, cause yesterday I was on the hunt and it would've been quicker to make the damn gifs), and reviewing it before posting, changing it in the process, sometimes leaving it in drafts because the idea is not completed. I'm tired just thinking about this. I'm not able to do that. Sure I can talk for hours about this stuff but actually organize my ideas into a coherent point of view and writing it down. Nope. Not me. So bravo meta writers. I applaud you.

And of course all the people that share the stuff that really matters. Like the colours, the wardrobe, the places we see, the news about what's coming, language nuances, pictures of the pretty people in sometimes ridiculous or beautiful outfits, sometimes the pretty people before shirts were invented, and some of the funniest commentary I ever encountered.

I don't wanna single people out by tagging them because truly there are way too many. So I just want to thank some people that helped me navigate this place and made this time so enjoyable. First and foremost. @twig-tea You were the first person I talked to here and you were so kind and patient with me and my awkwardness and lack of knowledge of how this place works. She also writes great meta and is brilliant and everyone should be following her. @lurkingshan because of the Sahara-Sensei post that you tagged me in and made me feel so seen. @pharawee because IFYLITA just wouldn't have been the same without your sets. @respectthepetty because she helped get the colour coded subs right and she appreciates the bokeh in all its glory. @itsallaboutbl for screaming with me in portuguese. @mikuni14 Because she's been so incredible kind to me. @iguessitsjustme because of many reasons. And If I ever reblogged anything from you, consider yourself tagged in this post. All of you are amazing. And finally...

@blmpff for a lot but mostly for the most unexpected and incredible moment I experienced in this short time. The day that a bird took over my dash. Khun Feathers was such a treat and this masterpiece was the highlight of the day.

image by @blmpff It's been a wonderful year and I look forward to see what happens tomorrow. Wishing you all a happy new year!💜

[wen-kexing-apologist]

WKA Gay Analysis Assembly

Hello! Welcome to my blog, please note I am unhinged about my silly little gay shows and as evidence I give you an exhaustive list of all the analysis posts (and some non-analysis posts) I have written :)

I will be updating this post as I write more, and the most recent show I am watching/writing about will be listed first. Please know my DMs and my Inbox are always open!

By, For, and About Queers (The By, For, and About Queers posts are not about any particular show, and are instead a little write up of the way I categorize the BL shows that I am watching)

By/For/About- Part 1 (a conversation with @absolutebl)

By/For/About- Part 2 (a conversation with @solitaryandwandering) Also check out the really lovely response from @solitaryandwandering here

Toxic and Messy: TharnType v. Only Friends (aka We Trust Jojo) (a conversation with @absolutebl and @respectthepetty)

The Sign

Feelings Made Visible: Design Choices in The Sign

Fantasy v. Reality in The Sign

Last Twilight

Episode 1 Thoughts (in which I state my fears that were later realized)

Reflections in Last Twilight (Episode 1-2)

Physical Touch in Last Twilight (Episodes 1-3)

Thoughts on Last Twilight, Ep. 5 (aka when I still thought the show was good)

Last Twilight, Ep 12 (in which I rant about the ableism in the narrative and the undermining of the show's themes)

Shadow

Shadow thoughts

The Left Hand of God

Is Brother Anurak the One Armed Man?

What Happened to Trin? aka Paying Attention to my Favorite Straight Boy

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Let's Talk About Sex: ESSAY #69!!! (breakdown of the sex scene in IFYLITA Episode 8)

Only Friends Academic Essay Series

Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture

Only Friends and Respectable Promiscuity

Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians Everything else

Ray and Rehab

Boston the Slut

Hypocrisy

Who is Mew, Anyway?

You're Mine No Matter What: The Commodification of Sand

Explosions (fight night round two, Ep. 6)

Fight Night (scene breakdown of the fight in Episode 5)[Sand Addition by @ranchthoughts]

Poor Boy (a discussion on the beloved Poor Boy t-shirt)

Watch The Warp Effect before Only Friends

Misunderstanding Top? (a conversation with @respectthepetty)

What the Fuck is Boeing Doing Here?

Only Friends Reflection

My Ride

Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity

My Ride Finale

Be My Favorite (how did I get here, I wasn't planning on watching this!)

Permanence in BMF (in conversation with @stuffnonsenseandotherthings)

Lack of Touch in BMF (in conversation with @wanderlust-in-my-soul and @dropthedemiurge)

Cupid's Last Wish 1. Trans Allegory in Cupid's Last Wish (in partnership with @so-much-yet-to-learn and @lurkingshan)

La Pluie

The Language of Love In La Pluie Ep. 8

Ep. 8 Stray Thoughts

Hands in Ep. 7

Hands in Ep. 6

Subversion (a conversation with @lurkingshan)

Pee Peerawich Can Fucking Act

Connection

Body Language in La Pluie Ep. 12

Step by Step

On the Subject of Pat 2.0- A Defense

On the Subject of Pat- A Timeline (a conversation with @waitmyturtles)

Totally Normal About Episode 7

Lighting in Ep 9 (a conversation with @istanchan)

Going Out- Sharing Space with the Unhoused

Compartmentalizing

Workplace Homophobia and Relationship Development Between Pat and Jeng

Our Skyy 2

OS2 x The Eclipse - Characterization

OS2 x BB x ATOTS- Phupa and Queerness aka Damn You WMT (that's right! Damn you, @waitmyturtles!)

OS2 x BB x ATOTS- Validation! aka Phupa and Queerness- Part 2 (and a shout out to @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles for writing such brilliant meta I almost...almost didn't have to write one myself)

Pat, Pran, Losing Parental Relationships, and Sex (a conversation with @shortpplfedup)

Our Dining Table

Silence (including conversation with @laowen)

Yutaka and Yukata

Bed Friend

True Colors? (a conversation with @dribs-and-drabbles and @respectthepetty)

Uea and Red

Reflections + Uea and Yellow

Uea and Gray (a conversation with @respectthepetty) Uea and Gray but this time not tacked on to RTP's post

Mommy Dearest 2.0

Uea's Episode 7 Costumes

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 1

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 2

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 3 (this is my favorite of the parts)

Water, Songkran, and KingUea

Moonlight Chicken

Heart Confrontation Scene

Heart and Li Ming Colors and Stripes

Red, Wen, and Blue

Naming the Deaf Character Heart

Heart's Communication

Wen's Badge Parallel

Modern Thai Sign Language to American Sign Language Index

Heart's Vocalization

Mommy Dearest (Jam and Li MIng)

Isn't it Difficult to Be Born Poor?

Moonlight Chicken is for the Queers

Resolution

Heart's Signs Translated (this one is not mine, but I don't want to lose this post so I am placing it here)

Best Criers in MLC

Worst Parallel

Utsukushii Kare

Self-Deprecation Harms Everyone

Our Flag Means Death

Over-analyzing the Color Red

Silk as Symbolism for Ed's Heart

[waitmyturtles]

I Feel You Linger in the Air, episode 7. Tee Bundit, BACK on his bullshit. The episodes keep getting better.

Ooooooh, I am so full with this episode that I'm not sure I can conjure meaningful anaaaaalysis per se, so let me just yelp at a lot of the themes and elements that I took note of that I really appreciated seeing, and I hope this comes together.

So many oppressed people in this story. Fong Kaew, forced to marry to Robert, will stay with him to investigate the crimes against her family (FK was a TEN in this episode). Maey, sold into prostitution and abused. Eaeung Phueng (EP), likely arranged in marriage to Robert before Fong Kaew came on the scene. Nara, the character in the book that Yai reads to Jom, forced into marriage for her family's livelihood. Yai, comparing himself to Nara, talking about his own oppression vis à vis filial piety -- knowing that if he were to live his truth, he would be the reason for his family's ruin, as was hinted towards again and again in this episode.

Yai says to Jom, "if I had the opportunity to choose my own path, I would just want to spend time with the person I love." Even for a privileged individual like Yai -- his life, just like that of a servant in 1920s Chiang Mai, is prescribed for him. His path is determined. He must lead a straight and narrow life for the sake of his family's present and future.

Jom's life is also, interestingly, prescribed for him as a servant. Despite Yai's love for him, Yai has MANY competing pressures. Yai must dance with Uncle Dech's daughter at his father's promotional party. We are assuming now that that daughter will be Yai's future arranged bride. Yai also must see Jom as his servant, because -- well, Jom's his servant, and Yai asks Jom to continue playing with little Lek because, well, that's Jom's job. Jom clearly has already had enough of having his life prescribed for him -- we already know from earlier episodes that he wants Yai to think about the rights of the servants, and whether or not servitude is even ethical. But.... Yai's a son of 1920s Chiang Mai, and is just not there in his thinking yet.

The adults, very clearly, are also not progressive. They're the dinosaurs that get criticized so often in progressive Thai television (cc: so many of Jojo Tichakorn's works, and the GMMTV Midnight series from earlier this year). But -- the adults are also living their prescribed lives to earn and preserve the power, as Uncle Dech says to Yai's dad, that they've gained from generations past. Uncle Dech warns Yai's dad to keep tabs on anyone in his life that may take a path that risks Yai's dad's career. He asks Yai's dad: "Do you think that Yai is different from the past?"

I want to offer a small clown theory here, as my friends @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm both stated that "different" in this case might mean just that Yai is gay, which is highly likely true. However, I read that line the first time as meaning that Yai may have been caught in the past trying something out with someone (and my second clown theory is that that someone is Yai's dad's butler, Chan). I wonder if that's connected to Yai's hesitance about getting physically closer to Jom during the oil scene.

And: boy. That oil scene. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDES. MY HANDS. WERE SLAMMING. THE TABLE. NONKUL. ATE. THAT SCENE. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. (And I believe others are writing about the INSANE cinematography of looking at your beloved in mirrors, which happened a lot in this episode. STUNNNNNNINNNNGGGG.)

Nonkul as Jom is communicating just BRILLIANTLY without as many words as we'd expect. Jom's horny, baby -- before he time traveled, he was without his boyfriend, Ohm, for two years. And as a modern gay man, he might be used to things moving a little more quickly and openly, as the acceptance of queerness in modern days is so very much more open (but not entirely legal) in modern Thailand. Yai's certainly inexperienced, but I also read that he's fearful, and hesitant for his position and his future to feel totally comfortable in being open with Jom -- at least until the end of the episode, where (CLEARLY, I HOPE) they run back to the house in the rain and.... ya know. And: considering Yai's considerable immaturity in grabbing Jom at inopportune times to be caught (including within snooping lines of other servants, like LITTLE MISS GOSSIP CHASER, get outta here), Yai's likely going to be the reason as to WHY they'll eventually get caught and punished. And: considering Yai's station vs. Jom's station -- it might be Jom who gets a more severe punishment.... as the show hinted at at the very start of the episode.

(I need to stop my unwinding on the episode for a sec to meditate on a Tee trend. I just want to give him a big hug for this. I'm honestly not sure if Yai's dad, played by Nu Surasak, will change to accept Yai and his lesbian daughter, EP. But remember: Nu Surasak started out as a VERY unaccepting father to Gene in Lovely Writer. And he just ate that role, god, including the dad's revelation to Gene that he, too, was a queer man who struggled with acceptance and had to end a relationship because of the times he lived in, in which living and loving openly as a queer man wasn't acceptable and even safe. I see this theme as one that Tee likes treading; to choose a classic BL elder in Nu Surasak to take this role means a lot. Again, the history of this show will likely not allow Yai's dad to take Gene's dad's path, but this is clearly something Tee likes to play around with.)

Whew. Okay, more. I love when Jom kinda rolled his eyes at Yai during the apology scene in the house -- it is clear that Yai's really inexperienced at all this, and Jom, before time traveling to the 1920s, has had experience, in sex and relationships. I read in that slight exasperation (that melted into love, mind you) that Jom really needs Yai to get his head outta the damn books, and to pay attention to what's in front of him -- which Yai is not doing, as Yai continues to take risks in being with Jom out in the open.

But, dang it. While I was SCREAMING at the dudes to STOP dancing and making out in the open, god, WHAT A SCENE THAT WAS ANYWAY. An acceptance fantasy of dancing in front of their community. Their family and friends clapping in happiness to accept them. (Remember the wedding in Cherry Magic? The joy of having your community celebrate your love. I had so many crying face emojis to share in that moment, watching Jom and Yai dance.)

GOD. Tee covered A LOT IN THIS EPISODE. Secret love, for the ill-fated lesbian couple at the start of the episode, for Jom and Yai, for EP and Maey. Keeping your personal secrets secret for your safety. No hope of acceptance or openness. The literal threat of life lost. The threat of the loss of power among the powerful parental generation. Fates made by parents -- Yai prescribed into marriage, Maey prescribed into prostitution. EP needing to fight Robert at every angle for her own existence. The desire for acceptance. The way GOSSIP is used to harm people, for power, or (in a servant's case) maybe out of misplaced trauma for the servant's OWN station. And more, and more.

I am watching Tee with my Lovely Writer hat firmly on, watching him do a LOT with a LOT, seeing it continue to succeed well into a series, and being VERY hopeful about it. This show is SUMPTUOUS, and is not stepping away from what it needs to handle to tell a holistic and historical story of acceptance, and of Jom's fear and need to protect himself -- which he very well may not be able to do. Let's see what Tee and his source material can conjure for us. I love Only Friends, I do, I do, but IFYLITA is the show I'm looking forward to the most right now.

[twig-tea]

Buzzing over the IFYLITA dinner scene

That dinner reveal scene was everything I wanted. It was Hamlet, it was Poirot, it was so perfectly pointed.

Not only did Jom make the point that these marriages should be called off in order to save the family reputation, but he also specifically highlighted how disgusting the behaviour of these men had been, and asked the question: how could you [Yai's father], be disgusted by our love but not by these actions? Who here is more vile, this talented performer or these people willing to kill for a little more power? Who is more embarrassing, this person flaunting gender binaries or you, bending over backwards and sacrificing your children's happiness for the good will of murderers?

God it was so satisfying, to have the queer-as-monster trope subverted in that way. Jom said: I'm not going to try to make you sympathize with our love so that you no longer see us as monsters, I'm going to make you look in a mirror and tell me who is more monstrous.

I still have chills. The way Nuey's laugh echoed as she moved through the scene, and the slow reveal that she was telling a true story, and her ability to ignore the tension in the room! What a fantastic performance by Om.

And the way this doesn't just rely on morals, but on the values that Yai's father ascribes to. He wants to be respected, to gain power for his family, and Jom reveals that actually, it is your decisions that will tear down your own family's reputation.

I also just really love that Eang Peung and Fong Kaew are friends, and worked together to make this happen. Jom got to do the reveal, but it was almost all their hard work to make it possible.

If Eang Peung dies from this pregnancy I will actually riot.

[bengiyo]

I Feel You Linger in the Air Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Jom and Yai began their romance officially, and we saw further evidence that Jom's drawings are connected to the time travel or dimension hopping experience. Yai took Jom to a gay speakeasy, where James came out and expressed his attraction to Jom. Yai got jealous and turned a bit petty with Jom for a bit. However, the two had a beautiful moment where they agreed to try this. I really hope James doesn't betray us, because I liked him encouraging Yai to step up for Jom. We also confirmed that Euangphueng and Maey intentionally brought Fong Kaew to the house to distract Robert, and that Robert may be involved in the fire that killed Fong Kaew's dad and scarred her mother.

I am glad I saw a post earlier giving context that the poor women being murdered here are based on real people. Tee always has something to say about the real dangers queer people face in their lives, and it's a tense warning at the beginning of this relationship between Jom and Yai.

Unsurprisingly, the parents are anti-gay as their two queer kids suffer in front of them.

I already know this party is going to involve pairing Yai with a girl as a way to further secure the dad's power.

At least Jom has some sense.

Yai basically described what Fong Kaew is going through with this short story.

There goes Lamyai clocking them, and she's a gossip.

I have thoughts about them introducing Nuey last week, who cannot hide themselves, and Yai now being unable to do so now that he's connected with someone.

It's a good thing that Jom stood up for Prik. He has an ally who also cares about Yai to tell Lamyai to hush.

I find myself worrying about windows and sightlines a lot this episode. Euangphueng and Maey are having a moment and I'm worried that someone will see or hear.

I suspected that Maey has survived some horrible things, and this is as horrible as some of the things I imagined.

One of the things this show is getting right about existing under homophobic is the constant sense of surveillance hovering over you. Robert represents that so clearly.

Oh, sensual oils. This is promising.

This use of both mirrors with Jom out of focus is driving me insane.

Big fan of the little bit of stubble they keep showing on Yai.

Jom was loyal to Ohm. It's probably been a while since he was intimate with someone.

Intercutting the massage with Jom masturbating is one of the most erotic things I've seen that wasn't overly sex since ITSAY episode 3. The way this was shot and scored clearly indicates that they both came, or at least Yai was close.

As much as I like seeing Nonkul and Bright do sensual things as their characters, we gotta get Jom out of here. He comes from an era where he isn't a slave.

Guide is absolutely crushing this role as Ming. He has built incredible chemistry with Nonkul.

There's something private about the way Nonkul smiles that draws me in every time. Bright has a similar thing with his brows.

Yai is running around making mistakes while Lamyai is running around righteous.

And now Uncle Dech caught them, and immediately went to Yai's dad.

Even Ming, the fan favorite, is struggling with his friend being queer.

Oh, Ming, don't confess when you're drunk.

And there's the pairing Yai with a girl part of the party I expected.

Now why the hell are Euangphueng and Maey running off now? I'm gonna need all of the gays to get it together.

Absolutely obsessed with the possibility that there is a picture of Jom that survived to the modern era.

Yai, my dude, you cannot abandon the heteronormative rituals so publicly like this if you want to protect Jom.

Thinking about O'Shae Sibley, who was killed for voguing as these two dance outside.

I am not immune to BL fantasy sequences involving dances.

Why...are we rapping?? What in the Marty McFly is happening?

I am not immune to boys making out in the rain.

Okay, that horny want in Yai's face, and Jom nodding yes? They are about to fuck for sure. This is about to go south so quickly.

Yep, gay turmoil begins next week, but we may get some nice love scenes first.

That was a fantastic episode. They really balanced the danger of being outed with the inherent need to connect that bubbles over in all of us. I felt the fear for everyone's safety, but I actually really like how badly everyone was hiding this week. That's basically the point. You can't win. The only way to be safe in the closet is to be perfectly quiet and alone. You cannot have anyone if you want to be undiscovered. Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. Like Nuey last week, Yai and Jom cannot hide. There's no amount of careful that can hide the warm feelings between two people. This was perfectly executed.

[lurkingteapot]

Romanisation woes aside (that "u" is supposed to denote a different vowel sound in the first instance than in the second and I do not understand what led to that choice), I wonder whether this was left untranslated intentionally.

ปัตยุบัน (IPA approx.: /pàt júʔ ban/, Paiboon: bpàt-yú-ban; Puttyuban in the English subs) is not a word I'm familiar with, but looking it up I got ปรัตยุบัน (IPA approx.: /pràt júʔ ban/, Paiboon: bpràt-yú-ban), which lists Sanskrit प्रत्युत्पन्न (IPA: /pɾɐt̪.jut̪ˈpɐn̪.n̪ɐ/) as the word's etymological origin … and ปัจจุบัน as a modern form.

Now ปัจจุบัน (IPA approx.: /pàt  t͡ɕùʔ  ban/ Paiboon: bpàt-jù-ban) I know – it means present day, modern day, current time (as a noun) or present, current, modern, up-to-date, or acute (medical) as an adjective.

On the English Wiktionary entry for the word ปัจจุบัน, ปัตยุบัน is listed as an obsolete form.

So. The Modern Day Bar? I love that as a name for this establishment that seems set somewhere between a gentlemen's club and a secret gay bar, but it might've seemed to on the nose in English. otoh I may just be completely off track and it's just a name, or a Northern word I'm failing to interpret. Hopefully the next few weeks will let us know.