#IM GONNA SPIT IN YOUR MOUTH FUCKO

[twyz]

Chucky leaving this as a voicemail for Kyle and Andy: WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SNITCHED ON ME TO MY WIFE???? WHAT??? I'M COMING FOR YOUR LEFT SHOES, AND IM SHITTIN IN THEM BUDDY! IM GONNA SPIT IN YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTHS FUCKOS,,,, WHERE ARE YO-

[all-hallows-evie]

My intel tells me that you have been actively seeking me out, my love. That the mere thought of me has your heart racing, the way your cheeks brighten; don't think I haven't noticed.

Perhaps you should join me, privately, in my office. Away from prying eyes and loud whispers. You can join me on my couch as we drink the night away and maybe even more some. A little dove has told me you wish to sit in my lap, is that all you'd like to do? Maybe we should explore what we both desire.

What do you say, my dear? Don't keep me waiting too long, you don't want to know what will happen if I have to come get you myself

~Silco

Evie traces the jagged S at the bottom for what feels like the hundredth time as she drinks her coffee.

She is livid.

She is livid that he has somehow managed to sneak past her dogs in the middle of the night to drop off this cursed letter at her home and she is livid that he is absolutely right. Her face feels hot and her heart won't stop racing as she considers her next move.

Would she take him up on the invite? In a heartbeat, the part of her brain infatuated with everything about the man pipes up, but that last little bit of the letter is just as tempting.

"...if I have to come get you myself...hn."

She knows she shouldn't be playing with fire, but it's just a little flame at this point she convinces herself as she flips the note over. She puts her coffee down and goes hunting for a pen. She finds one buried deep in the back of her junk drawer and starts to write out what will probably be her death warrant:

Dear Sir,

It has come to my attention that you've been given bad intel.

I'm not one for "my sweets" or "my loves", but a five letter word that was never trained to heel. As tempting as your lap might be, I'm afraid I'm much better on my knees...

P.S. Tell your goons to wipe their feet next time, my floors are a mess.

-- 💜💜

She fans the ink with one hand while finishing her coffee, a dumb grin plastered on her face.

This was such a bad idea, fun, but bad.

As soon as the ink dries she grabs her bag and heads for the door. She tucks the letter into the corner of the frame and locks the door behind her, pinning her response like a flag in the corner before heading off to work.

....such a bad idea.

[amistakehadhappened]

Y/n running into everyone in a group: WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SNITCHED ON MY TO MY DAAAD!?!!???

Everyone:

Y/n still screaming: WHAT?!?? IM COMIN FOR YOUR LEFT SHOES AND IM SHITTIN IN EM BUDDY!??!! IM GONNA SPIT IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH FUCKO?!!?! WHERE ARE YOU!?!??

Everyone now slightly more terrified of Y/n than before:

Technoblade standing in the back knowing he wanted to see them get in trouble:

[bagelboys-withcreamcheese]

Red Dead Redemption x modern!reader (11)

There’s a lot of language and Shrek references:

•Javier, holding a lizard: “look at its tail, that means its fErOciOuS.”

•Reader, thinking of Steve Irwin: “You gotta say it in an Australian accent.”

•Javier: “I don’t have one, I’m MeXiCaN-“

——

•Dutch, inviting reader to stay at camp when he first met them:

•Reader: “This is great! We can sit around the fire swapping scary stories and in the morning, I’m makin waFFLES!”

——

•Arthur, taking reader to camp for the first time:

•Reader: “Who would want to live in this dump??”

•Arthur: “Me.”

•Reader, trying to play it cool: “oooh I was just playing, this is lovely!” *sees a big rock* “I like that boulder, that’s a niiiice boulder.”

——

•Reader, looking at constellations w/ Arthur: “Are there any like me up there?”

•Arthur: “Yeah, there’s Gabby whose small and annoying.”

•Reader, oblivious: “Ooh I see, the big shiny one up there?”

•Arthur: “...that’s the moon.”

——

•Reader: “Save a horse, ride a cowboy!”

•Karen, drunk: “Damn straight!”

——

•Arthur, showing reader around camp for the first time: “-and that’s Dutch’s tent.”

•Reader, noticing how much bigger it is than everyone else’s: “...do you think he compensating for something?”

•Dutch, offended: “I aM NOT!”

•Hosea & Arthur: *wheeze*

——

•Sean: “they say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a legend.”

•Karen: “Oh you better remember, sweetie.”

•Reader: *spits out coffee*

——

•Reader: “I know after this is all over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy”

——

Hosea: *gives reader food* “Don’t look at me like that.”

Reader: “You’re my dad! Boogie woogie woogie-“

——

•Reader, singing: “baby shark doo doo doo-“

•Arthur, annoyed: “I’ve been counting and that’s the 69th time you’ve sang that song today.”

•Reader, smugly: “nice.”

——

•Dutch, after interrupting Arthur and Charles’s conversation: “Carry on-“

•Reader, appearing out of nowhere: “mY WAYWARD SoOoOn! THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DoOoOne-“

——

•Micah: “I-“

•Reader: “Don’t talk out loud, you’ll lower the IQ of the whole camp.”

——

•Arthur & reader after a shoot out w/ o’driscolls:

•Reader, exhausted: “oh, I survived. Brilliant. I love it when I do that.”

•Arthur, laying on the ground: *grunts*

——

•Arthur, trying to sleep: “(y/n), put the lamp out I’m trying to sleep.”

•Reader: “uh, no can do buckaroo.”

•Arthur, realizing: “...you run with outlaws and you’re afraid of tHE DARK?!”

•Reader, defensively: “I’ve waTCHED DOCTOR WHO-”

——

•Lenny, meeting reader: “If you’re from the future, then why are you here?”

•Reader: “uuuh wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.”

——

•Reader “how did you even find me?”

•Arthur: “I thought ‘where are they’ and then I saw the explosion.”

——

•Reader, stomping out of Hosea’s tent after getting a lecture: “wHICH one of you moTHERFUCKERS snitched on me to mY MOM?! whAT?! I’m coming for your left shoes and I’m shiTTIN in them bUDDY! iM gonna spit in your gODDAMN MOUTH FUCKO! whERE ARE YOU-“

•John, packing up his stuff to stay away from camp for awhile: “shit shit shit shit sHIT-”

——

•John, looking for reader: “Marco!”

•Charles: “No no they won’t respond to that. Let Arthur do it.”

•Arthur: “rED ROBIN!”

•Reader, somewhere in the far distance: “YUM!”

——

•Reader: *falls off their horse*

•Arthur, running up to them: *holds up three fingers* “How many fingers am I holding up??”

•Reader: “September-“

[mhathots]

i got this idea off tik tok ok ok, it’s a bakugo y/n pairing situation

the scene starts where y/n gets a long stern talking to from they’re parents because they got a minor injury while doing hero stuff at ua

obviously they’re pissed because the teachers don’t call home to the parents unless it’s an emergency so that means on of they’re friends told they’re parents so y/n comes bursting on to the scene aka the bakusquad

y/n: WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SNITCHED ON ME TO MY MOM?! WHAT?! IM COMING FOR YOUR LEFT SHOES AND IM SHITTIN IN EM BUDDY IM GONNA SPIT IN YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH FUCKO! WHERE ARE YOU?

bakugo’s sitting there with a smirk on his face like: that’s my baby right there

bonus: it was bakugo that told your parents, your parents call him to check on you because you always play off your injuries and he’s like tight with your parents because he’ll lecture you too everytime you get hurt

[twilightttv-a]

SENTENCE STARTERS OF TIKTOKS I QUOTE ON THE DAILY 

why have you forgotten to put the cottage cheese in my lucky charms again?

here’s the thing.....i’m still not 100% certain i’m not a wizard

until you science bitches can prove me wrong me wrong that i’m “not a wizard” i’m gonna continue to think i am

when a woman says later, she really means not ever. 

manic pixie dream girl? haha no thanks Zooey Deschanel! Get yourself a depressed goblin nightmare boy

tantalizing titties!

 oh how i wish to leave this d a r k c o l d g r o u n d

like scoob, what’re you doin out with all that ass? 

there’s a kid dead in the bathroom 

i’M NOT A CHICKEN MORRIS WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS?!

i know what you’ve got, the L word

yeah! leprosy! 

on todays episode of how fucked up is fucked up, that's fucked up and that’s fucked up and i’m f u ck e d u p

bITCH i look like i’m FRESH OFF THE RUNWAY

i don’ give a FUCK K E I S H A

which one of you MOTHERFUCKERS snitched on me to my MOM? WHAT?! 

i’m coming for your left shoes and i’m SHITTIN IN EM BUDDY

IM GONNA SPIT IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH FUCKO! WHERE ARE YOU?! 

this is for rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch

the only thing i’m fuckin’ this valentines day is- ah heh ah hah- stupid

i saw tHREEEE bitches walk out your door last night! you a gotdamn walking STD an’ you got the auDACITY to tell people where to put their PPs? un uh homie

can i say a bad word? CAN I SAW A B A D WORD?! yOU MOTHERFUCKIN B I T C H 

[twilightttv-a]

cir in a dbd verse would just be like: iM GONNA SPIT IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH FUCKO WHERE ARE YOU??????