ok so u know that feeling when u go out to a store and you notice that the cashier is Obviously Gay-- bc their hair/pins/vibe/whatever are a giveaway-- and u wanna let them know that you're Also Gay, but you cant mention it verbally bc that would be Weird, so u just sort of stare at them real hard hoping to telepathically communicate???
im just saying you dont have to feel for a corporate figure. im autistic too and i feel heavily for things that arent real i just have capitalistic awareness of the world lol. everyone feel free to keep making mcdonalds money if u care about defending grimace that much
I guess in some ways having a life that is very small and dark has its benefits especially when one finally gets to lay in a sunbeam (⬅️ saying this as a step down from "getting to step into the light", which is the metaphor i was Gonna use but i havent stepped into the light yet/its been minimal...so sunbeam)
Like...im in persistent unending agony but every little small thing is a joy now that im finally getting to experience a bigger variety of little small things
I've been thinking a lot about my plushie collection and rn I'm just soo overwhelmed by it. Because there's so many of them, and most of them I unfortunately have no attachment to. A majority of the collection was bought on impulse (mostly from goodwill and other second hand shops, where plush are sold very cheaply so its easy to purchase more at one time). I want to sort thru them and get rid of the mass majority that I no longer want, to make room for ones I actually care about, but it feels like such a hassle.
My datemate keeps trying to convince me to wait until we move to do anything. But then I'll have my first collection combined with the one at my current residence and it'll be even more overwhelming. And then there's the thought of where I'm even going to send all these plush. I live in a apartment with cats, and although most of the plush are in boxes, it might still make it hard to sell them because of that. And I live with smokers with no respect, who like to open my bedroom door and let all their nasty smells and nicotine get into my shit, so that's going to make selling even harder.
I could just (re)donate my plush, but then I'll be basically throwing money away, and the same thing would be true if I literally threw them out. Maybe I'll try to sell the ones ik haven't been contaminated by anything because of being boxed up, and the rest I'll just donate. I could see if there's any children's or women's shelters I could send some to. I want to drop a few off for toys for tots as well, mainly the squishmallows because they still have tags and ik they'll be well loved
the problem im running into is hypo-manic me wants neon hair and to be a goth fairy princess covered in glitter and depressed me wants black hair and to look like a goth basement rat the two cannot coincide