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#IM SO SAD I BOUGHT IT AND FOR WHAT
pasta-pardner · 1 year
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ok so u know that feeling when u go out to a store and you notice that the cashier is Obviously Gay-- bc their hair/pins/vibe/whatever are a giveaway-- and u wanna let them know that you're Also Gay, but you cant mention it verbally bc that would be Weird, so u just sort of stare at them real hard hoping to telepathically communicate???
thats what this scene is to me.
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syrasenturi · 2 years
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scribbly amphibbies
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bonus christmas garfapillar
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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#im back from a week with my dad at home and at the lake#it was really nice to b home for a while but now im a mess lol#bc it really makes me wanna move back to Appalachia and not do another semester out here#and also this was our 1st trip to the lake without my mom being there. she loved the lake. she grew up on the water and was named after an#island. she died before she could use our new jetski. which my dad bought for her and she would have loved#and i stood in her sandles bc my dad keeps them out by the fireplace and my toes fit almost exactly into the impressions of her feet#and i came come with another bag full of her clothes. and i feel bad for my dad being all alone in that big house#i mean hes got the dogs but theyre 7 and 8 and theyre big boys so they probably dont have all that long left. itll be so sad when they die.#there was a moment where i was talking to the dogs and he said i sounded exactly like my mom. which was kinda intentional#on my part bc i say a lot of things bc she would say them. stolen phrases and intonations. pieces of things ive taken.#its still weird that she's just gone forever. the time in the hospital feels like it was some horrible nightmare.#and now shes never gonna kno where we end up. she's left rooms full of half tumbled rocks and half sorted photos and half organized#classroom supplies. the outlines of a person that will slowly be stitched out of existance as time moves on until theres nothing left and#the memories are gone. its just sad is all. especially bc she didnt deserve it. no one does but expecally not her.#but unfortunately life isnt about getting what you deserve. its chaos and coincidence all the way down.#unrelated
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gethellbcnt-m · 9 months
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y'all i think im onto sumn with this lilith reimagining--
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skillbattle · 1 year
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im just saying you dont have to feel for a corporate figure. im autistic too and i feel heavily for things that arent real i just have capitalistic awareness of the world lol. everyone feel free to keep making mcdonalds money if u care about defending grimace that much
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??:?:??/?:?:?:(/(/,/,
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 17 days
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#unfortunately i dont have anything to show you foday#or anything particular to tell you either#so how about you look at this flower i bought at the local store and i think about what to say along the way#actually the employee at the store gave me a discount#every time i buy flowers im forced to participate in human interactions with strangers and remember that we live in a society#i think now that summer is over and the grass is no longer that green and touchable we should buy flowers from time to time to remain sane#i had to take a break from meds for a few days last week and it went rather ok. except i was bawling my eyes out at every given opportunity#you know. there is actually a game that keeps making me cry even when i cant really physically do it#its not really that sad. i would say that the main genre of this game is actually comedy. but the topics raised in dialogues wreck my brain#i dont really feel anything at all while reading the text or anything like that. i dont ecen think about it that much#but every now and then i feel the wetness on my hands and realize i've been crying for a while because of what read there#thats how i cry 99% of the time since the day i was born and i didnt really think anything about it untill now#my psychiatrist told me i have severe problems with dissociation and recognising my own emotions#but a few days ago i was watching some silly local soap opera in the background (im binging this stuff its iconic) & it broke my brain#the raised topics in the series triggered me this much i felt The Pain™. idk how to describe it rather then The Pain™ lol#now im back on meds and i dont feel anything at all again. this or my ability to recognise my own emotions just went down to 5% again#sometime i dream of someone who would posses my brain for a few minutes so that they would help me understand what i really feel#or if my reactions to life events are correct. sometimes when i think that i know exactly what i feel i stop myself and recognise#that i dont know nor understand shit#the more i think about it the more materialistic i become#you can always measure something physical. you can touch it or even search every inch of it with a magnifying glass all you want#but you cant measure the feeling#you know its really bizzare that i feel so much attraction towards poetry while having so much trouble with the concept of emotions itself#you can call me pragmatic but im too lenient for that. you can call me lenient but im too pragmatic for that. idk man. im gonna sleep now
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dockaspbrak · 4 months
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i feel like im not actually connected to the world anymore like i used to be and i lost whatever i had
#and now im just waiting to die orsomething#idk#i feel like norman shouldnt have gone without me#unfair#im not even a person anymore#im uselss and a disappointment to all#i can just drive#i miss having friends and being a part of a group who noticed when i wasnt there yaknow? like#a society#i feel like i slipped out somehow and i dont see people smiling anymore or enjoy sunlight on leaves or feel hopeful#i dont know when i got to be so depressed but#i managed to get a hair cut today#which sounds stupid to even mention but i am sort of agoraphobic and hadnt. managed to get one since september of last year or so#i looked stupid#the other day i went into a store with my sister and a woman was very chatty with me so i bought her a slushie and it was sweet how happy#that made her#so im just being dramatic you know its nice when someone smiles at you like directed at you#and like i did feel the sun on my arm while driving today and it felt nice and i can change as a person whenever i want#i dont like living in the city i think#i dont know what i want but i gotta make changes you know#start smoking and get a tattoo or something#i guess a lot of this is just regan and i arent that friendly right now and its making me sad#shes just busy#kinda a little bit makes me sad it was so nice when we started dating and we flirted a lot now its like im just a fixture that needs mainte#ance#everyso often#and my cats still dead#and his brother is dying#hes got lymphoma#i guess thats why im sad and sayng all this today
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thedegu · 2 months
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Rip Tim the Goldfish,
You helped me through lockdown and some very rough times. You were meant to be a feeder fish, I hope I gave you a good life.
The best $0.78 I've ever spent, I'll miss ya bud.
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grieving over getting the wrong disk in my soul punk cd. I might rewatch youngblood chronicles and ugly sob to miss missing you
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mymelodyisme · 4 months
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My sister’s graduation day 😤 let’s go 👏🏽
#gosh it’s gonna be a long day and I’m running on two hours of sleep again#i only get the chance to work at night because I don’t have ✨privacy✨#and I’ve been going to bed late and waking up even more tired than usual and my mom’s been scolding me for it#and now I’ve had to tell her what I’m doing and I feel like I just gave another piece of me away again#everything I am everything I do has to be for other people#im so tired when will I give my last piece away 🥹#this was to make ME proud of ME I was doing it for myself and now I feel like it’s for her#and then she’s going to tell my dad and now it’s for him too#also I can’t even cry about it because she HAS to know why I’m upset#she keeps glancing up at me and talking to me in bits#all I have left is my emotions 🥹#anyhow sorry to start the day off so gloomy and depressing I have literally nothing to be sad about I’m very privileged#sorry you guys see me being a baby constantly 🥺 I really do have a good life and shouldn’t be complaining#here’s to a better day for us all#melifails#now i feel like a jerk subjecting you all to this😭 sorry sorry let’s move on#im gonna be a busy bee hopefully I can squeeze in a time for a nap#😭 I don’t waaaaaannnnnaaa sit for hours in the California heat MAYBE with the sun hitting us in the face#our football field is NOT kind in this way#hopefully my sister gets the shady side but even then the sun will hit us in the face eventually just not as long#im !!! excited!!!! I bought ice cream for today 👏🏽 I originally bought choco chip and minto moose tracks?? my sister loves mint flavor#so I bought mint Oreos too so she can eat them with her ice cream 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽#i assume we’re getting take out of some sort so that; ice cream; and uuuuuuu I don’t remember anything else I bought; my best friend did#bring us snacks yesterday!!! pretzels and cookies!!! so that!!!#okay brain no work no more I gotta get dressed love you muah muah muah
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angelstrawbabie420 · 4 months
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u ever seriously wonder if ur gonna make it thru the year
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skunkes · 2 years
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I guess in some ways having a life that is very small and dark has its benefits especially when one finally gets to lay in a sunbeam (⬅️ saying this as a step down from "getting to step into the light", which is the metaphor i was Gonna use but i havent stepped into the light yet/its been minimal...so sunbeam)
Like...im in persistent unending agony but every little small thing is a joy now that im finally getting to experience a bigger variety of little small things
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leoserblog · 1 year
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Im visiting japan rn and LOOK AT THIS TMNT RETRO VIDEOGAME I FOUND!!!!! :000
*id love it if anyone could translate whats being said on the back!
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plushie-lovey · 11 months
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I've been thinking a lot about my plushie collection and rn I'm just soo overwhelmed by it. Because there's so many of them, and most of them I unfortunately have no attachment to. A majority of the collection was bought on impulse (mostly from goodwill and other second hand shops, where plush are sold very cheaply so its easy to purchase more at one time). I want to sort thru them and get rid of the mass majority that I no longer want, to make room for ones I actually care about, but it feels like such a hassle.
My datemate keeps trying to convince me to wait until we move to do anything. But then I'll have my first collection combined with the one at my current residence and it'll be even more overwhelming. And then there's the thought of where I'm even going to send all these plush. I live in a apartment with cats, and although most of the plush are in boxes, it might still make it hard to sell them because of that. And I live with smokers with no respect, who like to open my bedroom door and let all their nasty smells and nicotine get into my shit, so that's going to make selling even harder.
I could just (re)donate my plush, but then I'll be basically throwing money away, and the same thing would be true if I literally threw them out. Maybe I'll try to sell the ones ik haven't been contaminated by anything because of being boxed up, and the rest I'll just donate. I could see if there's any children's or women's shelters I could send some to. I want to drop a few off for toys for tots as well, mainly the squishmallows because they still have tags and ik they'll be well loved
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widevibratobitch · 6 months
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localdiscountgoth · 1 year
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the problem im running into is hypo-manic me wants neon hair and to be a goth fairy princess covered in glitter and depressed me wants black hair and to look like a goth basement rat the two cannot coincide
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