#IM SOBBING AND SWEATING AND HYPERVENTILATING

[chronicowboy]

god. i am nawt your strongest soldier

[soursturniolo]

nick stays the hottest triplet im sorry i dont make the rules fuCKING LOOK AT HIM

on my knees sweating begging sobbing crying breathing into a paper bag rocking back and forth in a corner biting the air hyperventilating having a breakdown

[nikamuhlstattoo]

in a good way (1)

"i didn't know that i was capable of being happy right now...but you showed me how."

cw: angst, mentions of death/su!c!de, mentions of self-harm, marijuana usage, drinking, explicit language, slow burn (im so sorry), panic attack(??), dad joke near the end, idk what else

a/n: this isn't really my first time writing angst (not on here) buttttt im still nervy. idk how to feel. i spent a dumb amount of time on this and it still sucks!! this series is also gonna be long so i apologize. but its necessary i promise! i just feel like ppl don't write about ellie falling in love enough. all of it. i wanna see and write all that stupid lovey stuff, from the start. idk how to write so be nice (ori'llcry) also listen to this song i love it sm.

you shoot awake, beads of sweat forming on your forehead and your breath quick. in out in out in out in out. for the past month you've been plagued by nightmares, making you wake up hyperventilating nearly every night. earlier this month marked the one year since your best friend passed away.

lucy meyer, the only person who truly understood you, took her own life last year on november 3rd. there's no word in the entire dictionary to express the pain you constantly felt. you tried so hard to cope, therapy sessions after therapy sessions. nothing helped. nothing could replace the comfort of being with lucy, just knowing she existed used to bring you happiness. lonely wasn't even a good word to describe how you felt, it was so much more than that. you felt so empty without her.

you had been doing "good" before now. you made a few new friends, dina, jesse, abby, and you left your house more. but the sudden reminder of lucy's absence sent you tumbling down again. it had only been a year. how were you meant to live a whole lifetime without her? without your best friend? the dull ache you felt in your chest worsened every day without her.

your eyes stung with tears as you slowly caught your breath. you were sitting up in your, almost overwhelmingly so, cozy bed. your eyes blinked quickly and rapidly, your eyes darting across your pitch black room. you eventually shoved the suffocatingly thick duvet off your body and stood from your queen bed. you lumber over to your bathroom, flickering on the warm lights and squinting from the brightness. you slowly adjust to the nearly blinding light, rubbing your tired eyes.

what you see in the mirror looks like a whole different person. you frown, seeing the dark under eye bags and sunken face. your hair's all frizzy and messed up from the terrible sleep you were having, you flatten it with your hands. your weary eyes glance down at the picture frame that sat on the sink, picking it up to get a better look at the photo in the frame. the photo was one of you and lucy two years ago in june, it was a selfie of you both in a pool. her long and curly black hair was pulled up into a high bun on top of her head. her dark blue eyes store into yours as you examine the photo, making you let out a choked sob as a tear runs down your face.

lucy was always beautiful. she was the most beautiful person you had ever met, inside and out. she had fairly pale skin and soft features. some acne was on her chin and left, rosy cheek. she had fluffy, arched eyebrows with a slit in her left one. you remember the day she put it there. she claimed she wanted to "look more edgy" with a giggle as she lifted the razor to her eyebrow, exposing her slit wrists when her long sleeves accidentally slipped down a little.

you set the picture frame back down and wipe the tears that must've fallen from your face at some point. you didn't exactly remember when they did. you quickly piss and wash your hands before you shut off the light and walk back into your bedroom, flopping onto your warm bed. the time on your phone said 4:24 am in a bright white font. you laid on your back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. you didn't fall back asleep that night.

you were so glad you had no classes today, you rarely had fridays off but you just so happened to today. you were fucking lucky too, having something as drastic as your best friend dying happen and being a busy college student wasn't for the faint of heart. currently, your closest friend at the moment, dina, was dragging you to a party with her boyfriend jesse and one of their friends, ellie, who you've never met.

"damn...i'd hit. seriously though, you look hot." she winks at you after you exit your closet, dressed in a tiny jean skirt and see-through, hot pink, long sleeved shirt. since it was fairly see-through, you could see the pink bra you paired with it underneath.

if you were being honest, you didn't want to go to this stupid fucking party. you wanted to stay home, and maybe cry a little. most of all. you wanted lucy. you needed lucy.

while you fix up your hair for the party, dina's phone buzzes. the message was from jesse, telling her that he was there and ellie was gonna meet you guys there. as you stand, dina gives you a wink and playfully smacks your ass as you roll your eyes and walk out the doorway. walking up to jesse's black jeep ranger, you slide into the back seat and dina sits in the passenger seat, dina mumbling a small "hi, babe" with a giggle. jesse smiles at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he turns his attention to you.

"yn! you hoe! i missed you, where've you been!?" jesse practically yells at you, making you flinch slightly before chuckling. you really had missed jesse.

"y'know...i have a mysterious reputation to uphold. gotta go ghost every now and then." you jokingly huff out, looking down at your lap and flattening your jean mini skirt. the words them both chuckle out a small laugh, it was comforting to hear that noise again. but you knew dina knew. she always did.

already feeling nauseous, the car pulled over and parked on the street near the house. the cool night breeze burned your exposed legs, making you shiver slightly. people were spilling out of the front door and sitting on the lawn, most people smoking with a drink in their other hand. the base boosted music could be heard from outside the house, making your head hurt already. you felt sick, you needed a drink or something.

walking past loads of drunk young adults, all three of you make it into the house, finding it fairly crowded. jesse goes off to find a place to sit while you and dina make your way to the kitchen, finding it slightly less crowded. dina poured you both shots, which you downed immediately, cringing as the liquid burned your throat. you perk up when you notice a stack of red solo cups, quickly grabbing one and pouring whatever drinks there was out into your cup, making a brown drink that hurt to swallow.

dina leaves you to find and probably make out with jesse, leaving you alone to babysit your drink. bad idea. you never could drink responsibly, finding it impossible to stop once you've started. the warm feeling that grew in your lower stomach and how your mind melted into mush was unbeatable.

"hey, you were lucy meyer's friend right?" a voice rang from in front of you, urging you to look up at the stranger. it felt like you've been here for an hour, your heels aching from the constant standing. "were". your chin quivered at the reminder of your best friend's permanent absence. you look up at the stranger, blinking away the haze in your eyes.

"uh, yeah...w-why?" you mumble out with a chuckle, tripping over your words. while drunk, everything was funny, letting you feel something good for the first time in a while.

"oh, no reason, you just looked familiar. um...sorry about what happened n' stuff.." and suddenly nothing was funny anymore. it was too crowded, too many people. you found yourself overwhelmed and suddenly you felt like you couldn't breathe. constantly breathing in warm, used air, you thought you might choke.

you don't even reply before stumbling away, almost frantically trying to get to the back door. you elbow your way through the crowds of people, not bothering to apologize to the people who curse at you. you quickly slide open the glass door to try and get fresh air. you plop down on the top step of the back porch and attempt to catch your breath, completely unaware of the person who was sitting beside you, curiously eyeing you up and down.

your elbows rest on your knees, your face in your hands as you try not to cry. maybe you were overdramatic, but just hearing lucy's name made you tear up. still unaware of the girl next to you, you sniffle and huff into your hands. suddenly there was a soft tap on your shoulder, making you jump a little as you pull your face out of your hands, looking over to your left at the mystery person.

"hey, uh...you alright?" the girl asks, scratching the back of her neck. you want the world to swallow you, bury you in a hole to never be found again.

you take a moment to take in her appearance. she had auburn hair that stopped a little above her shoulders, the layers made it almost look like a mullet and it was styled in a half-up half-down bun. she had mossy green eyes, the kind you could easily get lost in. the way her right eyebrow was slightly raised made you notice the small scar through it. you immediately thought of lucy. you wonder how she got it. her face was covered in pretty freckles, clusters of them painting constellations across her face. she had a half-burnt blunt in her left hand, her elbow resting on her bent knee.

you stare at her with wide, teary eyes, mouth slightly agape and seemingly out of breath. you blink a few times before haphazardly wiping your eyes -- trying not to smudge your makeup -- and looking away, looking up at the night sky. "fine... sorry, have you been sitting there this whole time?" you ask, your eyes drifting over to her again.

"kinda, yeah.." she responds with a quiet chuckle, huffing a small laugh through her nose. her smile makes a warm feeling flutter in your stomach. even though you literally just met her, you felt sorta comfortable around her. she had some weirdly nice presence. "you look familiar, what's your name? i'm ellie."

ellie. what a pretty name for such a pretty girl... seriously, she was crazily handsome. wait. suddenly it clicked in your head. "ellie? as in ellie williams or...?" you asked hesitantly, snapping your head to look over at her. she was already looking at you, silently admiring the way the moon hit your face.

"yeah... how'd the fuck you know that?" she asks with a laugh, her eyes narrowing at you. she shifts on the step slightly, turning to face you a little more. your knees almost touch, both of you angled at each other. there's a small smirk playing on her lips, a playful glint in her jade eyes.

her smile makes you dumbly smile as you explain, "dina and jesse told me about you, they really wanted us to meet." you're not sure why you're smiling. there isn't really a reason to smile, especially not when you think about the whole reason you came out here in the first place.

"oh shit! are you y/n?" the blunt in her hand was completely forgotten about. she put it out on the spot next to her on the old wooden steps. she shifted to face you even more, her body nearly completely turned. you did the same. you nod at her, a small smile still on your lips.

you both talk. and talk. and talk. for what feels like hours. strangely enough, being around ellie made you forget about everything. all the shit that went down last year, this dumb fucking party. all of it. you felt sorta free. you didn't think about lucy, about what you two would be doing right now, if she was still here. no. none of that. you're in the present for once in your fucking life. you didn't even think about how cold it was outside, you didn't care.

ellie made you feel free. even though you only just met her. thinking about it too hard made you feel a little crazy. 'you only just met this girl, how do you already feel so good around her?' so you don't think about that either. a loud buzz buzz came from your handbag, pulling you away from the conversation you were having. you open your phone to a text from dina.

dee 🩷: wgere tf r u girl

you: outside

you: r u guys trying to leave?

dee 🩷: yss

dee 🩷: hrry my feeet hurt

you look back over to ellie, frowning. "i gotta go."

"aww, you didn't even get to hear the rest of my cool dad jokes."

"i knowww. this stinks."

"can i at least get your number... y'know, to show you all my cool dad jokes?"

you huff a laugh through your nose and wait for her to pull out her phone. you quickly put in your number as you hear your own phone buzz again. dina was so impatient. you save your contact name as "y/n :)"

"can't wait to hear 'em all!" you joke to her as you walk back into the house.

the drive home was fine. they blasted some pop music dina loved, she screamed along to the lyrics, still plastered. they quickly arrived at your house.

you walk up the carpeted stairs to your apartment room, keys jingling in your hand. as you open the door, you flicker the lights on and kick off your shoes. fuck high heels.

home. a lot of people say "home is where i'm happy." or whatever. but its kinda the opposite for you. home is where you allow yourself to feel, where you think. your mind's not mush anymore, you can think and feel again. and all you feel is hurt. that stupid ache is back. the dull feeling in your chest that just won't budge. at home you feel like you're slowly being sucked into a black hole.

you huff and toss your bag onto the table, phone in your other hand. you shuffle to your bedroom, turning off the main lights and on your bedroom lights. you strip from your uncomfortable clothes and into comfy clothes, sleep shorts and a big t-shirt. you flicker the lights back off and flop onto your big bed, letting the comforters consume you.

you sit there for a few minutes until your phone buzzes. it's a text from ellie. she texted you on your ride home so you already saved her contact.

you stupidly smile at your bright phone screen, shaking your head and turning it back off. you plug it in and set it on your bedside table. you lay back in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. your hand reaches up and grabs the necklace you were wearing. it was lucy's. you rub the L shaped charm between your pointer and thumb, turning to lay on your side.

that night you dreamt of green eyes and short, auburn hair.

[georgette-mademoiselle]

Georgette and sekido part 8

overthinking

This one is kinda a continuation to the last one i made yesterday

Even since the beginning of there first encounter she had always tried to keep away from him because he was very intimidating but after finally bieng alone to talk to him that fateful day there relationship started to slowly develop from there but would revert back when his anger got the best of him towards her accidentally.

But on this particular day she was avoiding him for a week now and soon his rage would dwell into fear he thought he was going to lose her for good and choose to be with the others instead of him permanently.

He was in his working station in his room mot even able to concentrate as he fidgets around his pen while the other massages his temple his leg making the same movement as his working hand he was nervous more so that his beloved could possibly be thinking to leave him now because he went to far in his words.

He may be the embodiment of anger but still shares the same anxiety as hantengu just not to that extreme. Soon his chest almost felt tight and suddenly hes gulping down his weakness near the edge of wanting to have a paranoid breakdown never in his life has he felt such guilt for his actions not like this hes not used to this feeling at all and it only agitates him more that hes in this vulnerable state of despair and shame.

But then the door slides open he had forgotten to lock it. it was georgette, she had come to check up on him after never leaving his room all day today sne was worried for his well-being but before she could even say anything something was already wrong by the shaking body gesture and hands clutched onto his head "sekido!" She called.

Immideatly he jolted to her way. His eyes where wide in fear and it looked as if he was fighting back tears seeing the glisten of his eyes while sweating. His panick attack was about to hit full blown but her presence and look of genuine concern blocked it from happening.

"g-gerogie..." Just before she could move towards him with open arms sekido jumped out of his seat to hold her missing her warmth her gentlness her scent everything about this woman he missed it all. Wrapping his arms around her waist before he fell to his knees the wetness of her dress as he silently sobs of relief.

"sekido! Sekido! Hey whats wrong? My thunder storm why do you weep?" She kneels down letting him rest upon her lap as he lets it all out fingers caressing his soft auborn colored hair.

His words took time to put together, pulling together to stop from hyperventilating until finally words managed to escape his mouth.

" i-i-...im sorry! Ok there! Sorry! I know im not the kindest of person in the world infact i dont even deserve to be treated with such gesture! Y-you deserve better ok! Go with ai hes more empathetic o-or urogi! He can make you smile! Even stupid karaku would be better of with you! J-just...*fighting the urge not to cry again* anyone but me ok! I dont want to hurt you like that ever again I'm sorry georgie im so sorry!...."

She sat there and listened to his woes, she had no idea that he would have been affected by her absence, she only wanted to give him room to breath no matter how long it taked but that wasnt the case sekido missed her since day one of leaving him alone and now his guilt took a toll on him that she would leave him for somone else somone better and kinder. Yet little did sekido know he was kind a very different kind of kindness that was rare to see.

" my love, why do you say such nonsense? I already have the most kindest most understanding man right her on my lap." She moves her other hand to rub his shoulder.

" your motherly nature when you look out for your comrades is something i admire, perhaps strict but nonetheless its because you care for there safety"

" and dont think ive forgotten the time when you nurtured me during the time i came home with my face disfigured you still complimented me thoughtful after i was feeling low self esteem in that moment and to top it off you even came to my care when i was sick due to my ability even though you didnt have to. i think about it often "she chuckles placing a kiss on his forhead.

" you are loved sekido, and you are wanted. Nobody is perfect and thats ok...im not eather. No matter how rocky our relationship gets i want us to be able to solve it together because at the end of the day while i love the other three i want to be with *you* more than anyone sekido.."

He listened and the more he did the more he was gaining his composure again. He needed to hear that this was something hes been needing to hear for a long time now. Hes flawed and thats ok she is aswell. As his worries finally drift away sekido finally had the courage to slowly lift himself up to her nuzzling on the crook of her neck the same she did to him during that day of her mental breakdown.

"thank you, my rose..."

"i really needed to hear that..." He deeply sighed feeling true relaxation now.

" i think if you hadnt had come here any time i would have already bashed my head againts the wall along with the other idiots."

She only laughed

" where going to have to work on a different approach for a better anger management for example"

Hands him a rubber stress ball "tada!'

"....what the fuck is that?'" he looked at it with disgust the texture feeling wrong to him

" a stress management ball you can squeeze it throw it and smash it to let your anger all out see? Im good at this!"

He just stares at it and then clutches it with his fists then snorts.

" well this sure looks fun.."

"because it is my little lightning bolt ❤️"

Dividers by @/elryisia

[cutiejihyo]

Baby Hyo having a terrible nightmare to the point she wakes up screaming and crying and then having a panic attack as it seemed too real to her.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon woke up because of their Little's scream and immediately ran to the nursery where they saw Jihyo struggling to breathe.

"mommy, mama make it stop" Jihyo's clutching her head in her hands because she's having flashbacks

nightmares

— 3mix au — cw//panic attack, crying, mention of abuse words - 1021

jihyo's horrible night terrors were a common reoccurrence in the yoo-im household. these terrors were often very vivid, leading jihyo to believe they were real.

it usually takes a bit of time to get her to calm down completely after she wakes up out of fear, which meant jeongyeon or nayeon would have to lose sleep to comfort the poor little. as long as their little girl was safe and happy, they didn't mind losing a few hours of sleep.

nayeon and jeongyeon were able to put jihyo down for bed with no fuss, even getting her to sleep in her crib, which was usually a hard task for the two older women.

once she was asleep, they were able to get ready for bed themselves. everyone was sleeping soundly, the night was going well.

until it wasn't.

at around 2am, only a few hours after she was put to bed, jihyo woke up in a pool of sweat, hyperventilating like crazy, and not knowing where she was.

her first reaction was to cry out of pure fear, she couldn't tell if the nightmare was over or not. once she was a bit more grounded, jihyo began to scream as loud as she could, wanting to be back with her mama and mommy once again.

luckily, her screams were able to alert both nayeon and jeongyeon, who both sprung out of bed and practically sprinted to jihyo's nursery.

they immediately noticed that jihyo was showing signs of an incoming panic attack, with rapid breathing and her body trembling. jeongyeon picked her up, quickly trying to calm her down a bit.

she rocked her back and forth and shushed her gently, letting her know that she is okay and that it was all just a bad dream.

even with jeongyeon's attempts to calm her, nothing was working. jihyo's sobs continued to ring throughout the house, still not registering that the event was all in her head.

she was horrified that nayeon and jeongyeon had left her to die in an abusive household, not realizing that they were in fact right with her at the moment.

"i think she's having flashbacks, keep trying to relax her and i'll make the room more familiar for her." nayeon calmly said, not wanting to scare the little even more by sounding panicked.

nayeon went to turn on the lights in the nursery before grabbing jihyo's comfort objects which included her owl plush, her baby blankie, and her weighted puppy plush that had jeongyeon's perfume on it so it would smell like her.

by now, jeongyeon had moved to the rocking chair next to jihyo's changing table. this way, she was able to hold jihyo closer and put her into a more comfortable position. jeongyeon cradled jihyo, who was still having flashbacks, except her breathing was somewhat more stable.

nayeon showed jihyo the items she grabbed, holding them out for her to be able to feel them and see them. immediately, the little reached out for her blankie, gripping onto it tightly and holding it close to her face.

after a few minutes of continuous sobs, she began to come back to reality and realize that she was safe with her mama and mommy.

jeongyeon hummed softly, looking down at jihyo to make sure she wasn't hyperventilating to the point of passing out.

normally, calming jihyo down from the initial panic attack wasn't a hard task, but getting her to sleep again was the real problem. she was scared another night terror would happen, even though it was very unlikely.

jihyo looked up at jeongyeon with big eyes, tears still occasionally rolling down her face. jeongyeon smiled softly at the little in her lap, "everything will be okay, my love," she whispered, "mommy and i are always going to protect you; we won't let anything hurt you, my sweet baby girl."

nayeon sat down on the floor beside the rocking chair, placing the owl plush and the weighted puppy plush in jihyo's lap. "look, honey," she said gently, pointing to the toys, "your owl and puppy are here to protect you as well. they'll always be by your side, just like we are."

the little sniffled, her small fingers grasping the toys tightly. She clung to them as if they were her lifeline, finding comfort in their presence.

her breathing gradually slowed down, becoming more steady as she began to calm down further. the room felt warmer and familiar, filled with the love and care from her mama and mommy.

jeongyeon continued to rock jihyo gently in her arms, her soothing hum creating a peaceful aura in the room. "you're so brave, jihyo," she whispered, moving jihyo's bangs back before pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"even when you have scary dreams, you will always make it through and come back stronger than before. we're so so proud of you, sweetpea"

nayeon reached out to stroke jihyo's cheek, her touch comforted the little. "you're not alone, sweetheart, you'll never be alone" she murmured, her voice filled with love. "we'll always be here for you, no matter what. we'll make sure bad people will never get to you again."

jihyo gazed up at the two women, with glimmers of trust and security in her eyes, she knew deep down inside of her that they're always going to be there to protect her. with their love surrounding her, jihyo's fear began to fade away, replaced by a senses of love, trust, and peace.

as the night went on, jeongyeon and nayeon were able to get jihyo to drift back to sleep, only in their giant king sized bed of course. she ended up sleeping on jeongyeon's chest, feeling comforted by the movement of her mama's stomach going up and down due to her breathing.

her own breathing became steady, her grip on the toys relaxing slowly. nayeon and jeongyeon stayed by her side, watching over her with tender care, ready to comfort her again if another night terror dared to disturb her rest, thus showing they would seriously do anything for their sweet little girl.

[vaingod]

idk if its just a complete misunderstanding of ocd or mental illness as a whole but people will come up to me and with their whole chest say that they cannot possibly ever be a clean freak like me and that i must be much more able bodied than them if i have energy to clean my surroundings all the time and its like so so so backwards i dont even bother to correct people anymore

i cannot function in messy spaces, i start panic hyperventilating and sweating and self harming if i have to be in a messy area its not something i control it feels like the walls are closing in on me and the compulsive thoughts will not let me do anything other than clean, i frequently find myself in situations where people take advantage of my ocd and im aware of it, im also physically disabled w chronic pain and eds, my pain does not stop me from compulsively cleaning thats the whole point of me selfharming if im prevented from lessening my anxiety by cleaning my surroundings - i was cleaning my roommate's messes as i was holding fresh incisions from surgery, i am cleaning as i am holding back from puking due to a stomach virus rn. like no matter how bad im doing i will always "have energy to clean" because the alternative is sobbing and wanting to die and i cant possibly convey how miserable that is to people that do not experience the world like me

[trimisu]

Oh yeah also also!!

Hq character and reader gets into a fight (they’re dating now, ofc fights are gonna happen once in a while)

Hq character says something along the lines of “im done” or “im tired” and reader misunderstands it as they meant their relationship

So the guilt, anxiety and fear starts crashing down and they’re lowkey hyperventilating and panicking

And then comes comfort hehe

Contain/s: mentions of hyperventilating, argument, angst with comfort

A/n: well, this took so long to answer :D

Masterlist

"I am getting tired of this shit!" That's what their last words were before they left.

You were tired and stressed out, it was just a small misunderstanding, but you didn't expect that you will be screaming at each other. The fight went on for a while, exchanging profanities and insults at each other before your partner leave the house with a loud slam from the door.

Your feet were glued to the floor as you stared at the place where they last stood before they left. This is it. It's all over. There's a higher chance that they will pack up their things and leave you alone.

Guilt, fear, and anxiety crept into your body as you gripped your arms tighter, your heart began to ache at the thought of them leaving you. What do you do? What should you do? Should you run out of the house and look for them?

You were panicking as these thoughts run through your head, your hands were sweating bullets as you unconsciously rubbed your arms while you feel your tears prickled from your eyes. You felt dizzy as you rapidly tried to get enough air in your lungs, you can even hear your heart beating fast.

"It's going to be alright," you heard a familiar, soft voice. You look up to see your lover who came back with a look of concern on their face, "follow my breathing, slow deep breaths," you felt a warm hand lifting yours to their chest.

It was warm, you felt their chest heaving up and down slowly. You looked and followed the movement of their lips, it parted as they breathe in and pursed their lips as they breathe out. With a few slow deep breaths, you were able to breathe normally, though with a few sobbing sounds.

"Are you alright? Do you need anything?" You felt their thumb on your wet cheek, wiping away the remaining tears in your eyes.

You shake your head as a response, "listen, I'm so sorry about earlier! I...I let that situation the better of me and—"

Your partner cuts you off, "Hey, it's fine! I also felt guilty about what happened earlier... But I want to figure this issue out together once our minds are clear, yeah?"

Your eyes filled with hope and surprise, "y-you won't leave me, then?" Hearing your question made them surprised, did them walking out made you think of this?

"Of course not! I want you to know that no matter how many arguments or fights we have, I still love you and that won't change," you felt butterflies fluttering around your stomach as their eyes goes soft and their voice was raised a bit but in a softer tone.

You smiled as you felt their fingers interlocking with yours.

"Shall we hit the bed and talk about it in the morning?"

"Huh? Haven't you heard? You're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

"We both know that you can't sleep when I'm not next to you, (Y/n)..."

[darl1ngd3ar3st]

HNNGHFFJFGW NSFW BRETT DRABBLE I AM BARKIFND RN

ok but hear me out .. mirror sex nd fuckinf brett over a sink or a counter or whateva 😻❗ I went with the sink this timw around srry lmao 💪

male reader

Brett whined and gripped the edge of the sink, desperately trying to keep himself from falling. Your hips snapped against his ass repeatedly. Each thrust ripped a moan from the poor boys throat. Your fingers tangled in his hair, forcing him to keep his head up. His face was coated with sweat and tears, and he could see himself getting fucked stupid in the mirror.

"You're doing so good for me, puppy." You praised. "You're such a good boy." Brett's thoughts wouldn't connect, he physically couldn't bring them to. All of his words came out as incoherent babbling. He looked away from the mirror for a brief moment, trying to catch a break from himself. Now that certainly wouldn't do. "Hey. I told you to keep your head up." You growled. "I- hah.. i-im sorry~" was all brett could get out. Poor baby, he was absolutely sobbing for your cock. His grip on the sink tightened, his knuckles turning white.

"Y-y/n- o-oh fuck- mmghn!!" He whined. "P-please- oh fuck please-" "are you close, baby?" You asked, though you already knew the answer. Brett frantically nodded. "Oh god- i.. ah!!! c-cummi- ngh...!!!!" He moaned as his orgasm finally hit. Cum landed on the sink and floor, some even landing on the mirror.

Once you had both finished, brett collapsed onto the ground next to you. He leaned his head on your shoulder tiredly. His legs shook violently and he was practically hyperventilating. "Th..thank you.." he whispered breathlessly. You gently kissed his forehead with a smile. "Of course, puppy." You whispered back.

I APOLOGIZE IF THIS IS SHORT OR RUSHED OR WHATEVER ITS LIKE 3 IN THE MORNING RN LOLZIES

[shorkbrian]

Mommy please

My and @seijoh and @confessions-of-a-yandere-freak and @implexedactions were thirsting and I have so many thots to think about KIRISHIMA always and forever I 🥵

This was supposed to be a short thirst but it’s half thirst half drabble im sorry I couldn’t help myself Kirishima’s just too hot to contain.

(NSFW/mommy kink/noncon)

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Big beefy Kiri is so sweet, so kind and polite and the perfect gentleman. Always offers to take you on dates, showers you with flowers and gifts, tries to hold your hand and kiss your knuckles every chance he gets.

Even if you don’t want him to.

He never gives you a chance to tell him no, to ask him to stop, to push him away. Kirishima shows up at your apartment with roses clutched in his hands, a bright smile on his face as soon as you open the door.

You can’t get the words out to ask him to leave, cause he’s crashing into you, shoving the roses into your hands as he kisses you, mouth hot and wet.

Pushes you around, manhandles you like you’re nothing. By the time he lets you break away from the kiss, his hand is down your shorts, knuckles brushing softly over your panties, pressed up against your clit.

You wanna tell him no, tell him to stop and go home and leave you alone, but then he’s kissing you again, sharp teeth nipping at your lip until you open your mouth to let him explore inside, his technique messy but enthusiastic. 

Kirishima is so strong, it’s easy for him to lift you into his arms, asking you sweetly to wrap your legs around his waist while he slowly grinds his clothed bulge in-between your legs, making you gasp at the pang of pleasure that shoots through your stomach on each grind.

And then his mouth is on yours again, and he's stumbling towards your bedroom. The man pauses occasionally to shove your back against a wall to steady you so he can hump against your pussy, both of your clothes beginning to spot with precum and wetness.

There isn’t time to tell him no, his presence is so overwhelming and it’s so hard to catch a breath with him attacking you so lustfully with his lips and hands.

By the time you reach the bedroom, your scrabbling at his arms, half wanting to be let go, half wanting for him to pull you closer.

You know this isn’t right, what he’s doing isn’t right - it never is, hasn’t been from the beginning. There’s no consent on your part, and Kirishima doesn’t care to ask.

His polite and gentlemanly exterior crumbles around you, burned to ashes by lust and desperation. Instead he turns into a demon, grabbing and humping and taking whatever he wants. Problem is, he doesn’t ask if you want it too.

Never gives into your timid requests for him to leave, always brushes it off as you being shy or embarrassed. At least, that’s what you hope. You can’t bear the thought of Kirishima purposefully fucking you knowing that you don’t want him too.

(He knows, and it hurts his heart. But why would he ever stop fucking you when it makes the both of you almost pass out from the pleasure?)

----

“Let me eat you out mommy, please?”

“Kiri I don’t-”

“Don’t be shy, I love you so much. It’ll feel so good, I’ll be so good for you. Please, please let me lick your perfect little pussy.”

He’s already stripping off your shorts, your hands doing nothing to stop him. Kirishima loves sitting you on the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees and throwing your legs over his shoulders before going down on you. 

The man goes on and on about how pretty you are, how sweet you taste, ignoring whispering “stop, please don’t”.

Kirishima does what he wants, and he only wants you.

When he starts licking broad stripes up your cunt, you can’t do anything but shudder and clutch at his hair, try to pull him away, push him back. It feels good, but you don’t want it to.

Kiri always stops when you pull his hair, looking up at you with glittering red eyes as he lips his lips, savoring your taste.  “Oh, sorry mommy, I forgot to put up my hair. Know you like to pull on it when you get too sensitive.”

And it’s tantalizing, watching his muscles flex underneath his shirt while he pulls his long hair into a ponytail before diving back between your legs. You try to clamp them shut, but he just laughs and easily wrenches them open, tells you not to hide from him, let him see your beautiful little body and make you cum until you’re shaking.

He does exactly that, holding onto one of your legs over his shoulder with one hand, the other kneading his cock through his sweats as he excitedly eats you out, licking and slurping and spitting onto your cunt. You’re usually crying at this point, begging him to stop and go home, leave you alone, you don’t want this, but Kiri never listens.

He does like the sound of your begging.

Kirishima makes sure you cum more than once, messily dragging his tongue over your thighs, lapping at your cum like he’s had nothing to drink for a week, a man with an unquenchable thirst. There’s all sorts of sounds, from his feral, unconscious groaning and growling to the slick, squelchy sound of him mouthing feverishly at your clit.

When he finally pulls back, panting and groaning with need, he blinks up at you, a wide smile dancing across his face.

“Thank you mommy, what a treat. You always taste so nice, wish you would let me spend all day in between your thighs. Thank you so much for letting me eat you out, you’re so good to me.”

The way he says it makes you blush - almost as if you had made him beg to eat you out, as if you had wanted him to do so.

You had begged for him to stop.

It’s not like he ever listens.

And then he’s standing up, shucking off his sweats and shirt before grabbing at your own shirt, pulling it off you before you can resist his big hands. You push yourself towards the other side of the bed, legs feeling like jelly from your previous orgasms, and you don’t get far before Kirishima’s dragging you back towards him.

“Don’t worry, I always make you feel good. I would never hurt my sweet girl. I just wanna feel you mommy, see how hard you made me?”

His cock is bobbing against his belly as he moves, precum slicking the length, smearing against his dark happy trail. He’s got a big dick. You always hate this next part.

Kiri likes to manhandle you while he fucks you, likes to feel how little you are compared to how giant he is. Sometimes he’ll pick you up, hold you in the air and bounce you on his cock while he watches your face, occasionally leaning to kiss and mouth at your neck.

Other times he’ll turn you away from him, push you into the bathroom before picking you up into a full-nelson, right in front of the mirror. In that position, both of you can see how his thick cock enters you, how blotchy your face gets with tears, how you’re almost hyperventilating from the stress and trauma of being violated. Kirishima always looks flushed behind you, knitting his brows together while he chases his pleasure, cooing at his “mommy” and how amazing you are.

When he’s feeling particularly playful, he’ll throw you on the bed, lift you into positions where he has full access to your body, play between sticking his cock in your pussy or tracing it around your mouth. He’ll flick his finger over your clit, mush down the little nub with his thick, calloused thumb and torture it until you’re a sobbing mess, crying and begging and pleading for him to stop, or let you cum - you’d take either at this point.

Today he’s feeling gentle, loving; he wants to spoil his mommy and make you feel amazing, 

So Kiri lays down on his back, pulls you over him and spends a few minutes just grinding his cock against you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, pausing to whine and whimper at the delicious friction of your skin against his cock. He wants to cum, but he wants to make his mommy feel good first.

When the big man does lift you onto his cock, it’s hard for him to start out slow. He always tries to give one hundred percent, can’t hold himself back when he sinks into your tight heat.

You’re laying against him, head buried into the juncture between his neck and shoulder as you cry. But Kiri wants to see. So he pushes you up, holds you upright with his big meaty palms before he plants his feet on the bed and fucks into you so fast you almost scream.

Kirishima pounds into you so quickly on his lap that your tits are bouncing, and he’s addicted to the way the flesh moves before his eyes. He loves you, body, mind, soul - everything about you is perfect to him. He wants to be with you, wants to watch you and feel you and fuck you until he dies.

He makes you come again, slamming into your g-spot again and again until you’re clenching around him, bawling your eyes out as pleasure overtakes you. You don’t want this, it isn’t right, he’s a bad man.

Your clenched pussy drives him too close to the edge, and Kirishima is crying out, chanting, begging you to let him cum. 

As if you were in control.

The man isn’t necessarily expecting a response, lost in the fantasy of his beautiful little mommy ordering him to come in her little pink pussy, to clean her up afterwards while she grinds her foot against his softening cock while he licks his cum out of her.

It’s that thought that has him spilling inside you, choking up at the sensation of your warm walls milking out his cum.

You feel so good, he loves you so much.

He knows you don’t love him back, knows you hate what he’s doing to you, hate the pleasure he forces from your body.

But Kirishima can pretend you don’t.

He’ll teach you to love him.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

the lift.

STEVE ROGERS. MARVEL. ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ request by anon: Girl I love that we must watch all the same things because your masterlist is heaven!! I love all the characters lol Can I request an imagine for reader x Steve Rogers where the reader is an avenger but her and Bucky are super close where everyone thinks they’re together, but it’s platonic. Reader and Steve have massive crushes on each other, but are two idiots who don’t realize it. The team has to help hem figure it out?? Or you can switch them around it you want. I love Steve and Bucky equally 🤷‍♀️

❝ request by anon: Hey girl! Awww yah! Requests are open 🎉 Can I request something for Steve Rogers? Maybe a prompt of “You came to my room at 4am...to cuddle?" I’m a sucker for Steve so honestly anything you write is fine 😅

❝ words: about 1k.

❝ a / n: don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

“This is a bad idea, sir”.

The metallic voice from F.R.I.D.A.Y. speaks throughout the living room. Even she knows that locking you and Steven inside the lift isn't going to help you to realize what you feel for each other.

“Sh…” Stark utters before taking a sip from his glass of whisky.

All the Avengers are there. Natasha has made popcorn to share with Bruce, while Pepper is trying to persuade his husband to stop, asking Bucky for help. But he just shrugs in her direction.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” The captain asks resting his waist against the railing, placing his hands there too.

“Nope. I think I'm just… gonna order some food and have a quiet night”. You shake your head, holding a S.H.I.E.L.D. file closer to your chest. “Why? You have another option?”

“Nope”. He imitates you with a soft grimace, almost giggling. “Sounds good to me, ma'am”.

“Oh, so, will I be blessed with your presence, Capta—”.

You can't finish the joke when the lift shakes slightly by stopping. A loud roar turns the lights inside red. Steve walks to the control, hitting every button on it as if this gesture could make it work again. And you're starting to sweat. You have claustrophobia and suddenly these four walls feel too close to each other. Like, really close.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” He exclaims once and again before turning at you, hyperventilating sitting on the floor. “Hey, hey, hey! Are you okay?”

“I ca— I can't breathe, Steve”. You barely babble.

“Okay, okay, don't panic. It's okay”. Keeping as much calm as he can, the soldier removes the file from your hands to take off your jacket.

“Let the lift fall a little”. Tony casually pronounces the command to his A.I., making everyone in the room turn at him.

The lift falls a little. And the whole damn city can hear you screaming. Steve is on the verge of his nerves, standing up to try to force the doors and open them. You may be somewhere between the twentieth and the twenty-first floor. But they feel like both are hermetically closed.

“Hello? Anybody hear us?” The Captain screams from the bottom of his lungs, palming and hitting the walls.

“God, I'm gonna die”. You whisper in tears, causing your friend to kneel again close to you.

He doesn't doubt taking you into his strong arms, maneuvering to sit on the floor and put you onto his laps, tightly wrapping you against his chest. Steve rocks you, wanting you to calm down and to not think where you are, nor what's happening. He has protected and comforted you before, but this time where not even F.R.I.D.A.Y. is responding, you know it's the end. And you don't want to die in silence.

“I love you”. You sob, hiding your face under his jaw, gripping your fingers in his shirt.

He laughs quietly, leaving a kiss on top of your head. “I love you too”.

He hasn't understood you.

“I love you, Steve”. You repeat the confession. “I don't wan— wanna… die without telling you”.

“Don't be dramatic”. He scoffs, not replying to what you have just said.

Stark never thought it wouldn't happen this fast, but now, everybody is celebrating your revelation.

“Can you, for the love of God, take them out of there?" Pepper almost begs, knowing how bad do you feel in closed spaces.

“Just… one minute else”.

The excuse they gave you both was that they were training and minding their own business. But the A.I. is everywhere, so at least you don't believe them. And you can't stop thinking about what you told Steve. He hasn't acted weird after it, probably imagining it has been part of the moment. But it's not.

Getting up from your bed, not being able to sleep, you tour the long hallways to his dorm. Taking a deep breath as you notice the light under the door, you come closer to knock it. Walking inside and closing the room behind your back, you rest it against the iron door. The soldier is lying on his mattress, reading a book about Sherlock Holmes. But the story is left in the background when he raises his eyes towards you and a funny grimace appears on his face.

“You came to my room at fou—”.

“I was serious”. You interrupt him with a firm tone. Swallowing, you close your eyes to find the encouragement to repeat your words somehow. “I'm in love with you, Steve. Ever since”.

His gesture suddenly disappears, causing you to tremble a little. But before you can continue speaking, he tosses the sheets by his side over him to palm the bed. In silence, you walk straight to it slowly, hesitating. As soon as his arms can surround you, he pushes you onto his chest, tucking you there. He didn't believe the excuse Stark gave you either. It wasn't a coincidence.

“I love you too”. He whispers, not like a secret, but only wanting you to hear his —surprisedly— honeyed voice. “I can't even explain what you make me feel, but you complete me in the most perfect way. And I was good being your friend. I can't anymore now”.

Steve is aware he doesn't need vocal permission to kiss you, bringing his lips to yours. You don't hold back a soft sigh, leaving a hand on his chest and landing the other on his neck. At first, you don't have any rush. You take your time tasting each other's lips until he finds your tongue with his and something explodes within your guts. Soon the two of you are breathless, needed for more, pawing and exploring your anatomies under your clothes.

“I want to make you mine”. The soldier growls against your mouth, settling himself between your legs to shorten any kind of distance, losing the shame that still characterizes him sometimes.

“And, what are you waiting for, Captain?” You gasp tangling your fingers into the golden locks of hair.

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steve rogers: @chibsytelford

[weirdmageddon]

good lord what a fucking stressful day

driving up to class there was a truck in front of me for like ten straight minutes that was going 19 mph on a 35 mph road and there was a car behind me and i could just feel his pain too. it was taking all my mental effort to not blare my horn. soon as that fucking truck turned onto another road i pressed down so fucking hard on the gas pedal to get across the message to the cars behind me that i was pissed off we had to go that slow and that it was not my decision like sort of an apology to them like “you saw that fucking guy?? im not gonna keep putting you through that”

then when i got out of class i drove to the bookstore and was told i have no funds in my account to buy books and that i need to go to financial aid office. then i got anxious because nobody there knew where it was (i dont live on-campus so idk either) and i couldnt find any answers online because the map wasnt loading.

so then i looked at one of those “you are here” maps around campus and saw that financial aid was on the other side of route 41/tamiami trail (left side of campus). so i waited at that stupid light for 5 minutes and once i got to the other side i had to find a place to park which was annoying, and i still couldnt find the stupid office. i asked inside the first building i saw and the lady said it was across the road (pointing to the OTHER road, not route 41) so i walked over there. didnt look like the financial office but i checked anyway and it was locked, (and it wasnt the financial aid office). btw i’m in florida if it’s not obvious by “tamiami trail” and i have a heat intolerance (im 99.99% certain i have POTS, all i need is an official diagnosis but i havent had the appointment yet) and i started getting really fatigued and i was sweating my ass off and couldnt think straight and i felt that i was starting to get teary.

so im trying to find this stupid office in this oppressive heat. with a heat intolerance. and wearing a mask which made it feel a lot harder to get in air. i tried to ask this random kid but i broke down in front of him because i couldnt hold my shit together over something so minor as being unable to find this fucking office and i bet he thought i was insane or mentally unstable and i realized this so i was apologizing to him. when i inhaled it was so loud they were like gasps and i couldnt do anything about it and it made me so embarrassed...like the kinda gasps people do after running for their life. not quite hyperventilation because it wasnt fast but whenever i took in air it was like a sharp wheeze 😭 like my throat was so tight the air getting squeezed through it made a loud noise

so idk i think i maybe had a panic attack outside because i couldnt find this motherfucking financial aid office in this 90°F 70% humidity weather where it feels like 104°F so i could barely breathe to begin with and no one had given me good directions. then i involuntarily began holding my breath because it was embarrassing to be making loud sobbing gasps while walking.. which made it even harder to breathe but at least i wasnt drawing attention to myself.

i walked over to the student recreation center to get into the air conditioning and get some water. i sat down and i noticed i was STILL involuntarily holding my breath. they’re not breath-holding spells like babies do, like i dont do it until i get blue in the face but it’s sort of an automatic response as though to not make any noise? but it’s really involuntary it kinda becomes my default mode of breathing instead of normal respiration (anyone else do this when crying btw?? i tried looking it up but all i got was breath-holding spells in babies)

so taking few minutes while trying to calm down i took my phone out and searched for the financial aid center’s location on google and i still got nothing descriptive. i asked a more students around if they know where it is, one said he didnt know, and i was about to leave but near the exit there were like 4 students playing billiards and i asked them if they knew where it was. and i think one of the kids knew me from middle or high school because he remembered me and looked sort of familiar and said “sara are you okay” and i broke Again and i felt absolutely pathetic, but they ended up actually helping me this time find it and were really nice. turns out it WAS on the online campus map the whole time but i overlooked it because it was labeled “Palmer D / Financial Aid” and my tunnel vision ass just did not even recognize it because i was looking at the first letters going down the key list. and i felt so stupid. all of that for nothing. i couldve just stayed parked where i was for class earlier on the other side of tamiami trail. then i trudged back through the heat to my car and thats when i turned from feeling lost and panicky into frustrated and irritable because i KNEW where i needed to go but it felt like everything around me was so goddamn slow. i had to wait at that light for the full 5 minutes again because it turned from green to yellow just as i was driving up to it.

once it was green, i pulled back into that parking lot i was in at the beginning of the day and walked into the financial aid office and actually got something accomplished. i filled out a form (that they never made clear last year due to covid 🙄) which makes my bookstore funds automatically deposited and i helped walk a freshman who came in through the exact same steps after i finished mine. so that made me feel a little better.

at this point i was so full of adrenaline and cortisol and i acutely noticed how fucking DISGUSTING it was outside, the air was so muggy and it was overcast and like 90°F just an absolute swamp ass jungle. and i got back into my car and waited at that fucking tamiami light AGAIN and some stupid lady was like one whole ass car space behind the light so i couldnt turn into the right lane until it turned green and i was sittingthere for 5 mins just WAITING for this idiot to pull forward. then i waited at ANOTHER 5 minute light immediately after that before being able to actually drive home. just so many minor inconveniences all throughout my day that made everything feel so much worse.

i’ve been home for 4 hours at this point, i already showered but my body still feels like it’s full of stress hormones. my body is actually still has very minute tremors from all the stress. great start to the semester already.

[empiresmostwanted]

Hi!! From that quote prompts list, a few that stood out for me were “it’s a brutal world” and “what are you humming?” for Rex? Im imaging either a mechanic/civilian reader or a shiny new clone trooper is accompanying the 501st on an off-world mission and they are sitting by the campfire late at night, a little shaken by the battle earlier in the day. Rex notices and goes to comfort them, and perhaps there is a singing motif??

Also! I loved Sabacc Face and im making my way though your other works this weekend 💕

Thank you so much @maulpunk for the prompts 😘

I'm sorry it took me so long to write, work has done a number on me this last week or so. Grrr. But I was happy to get back to writing this, although I must apologise for straying a little from the parameters of the request (it turned out to be a little too angsty for a singing motif, oops). I hope you like it all the same!

(P.S. Thank you so so much, I'm thrilled you liked Sabacc Face. It was a lot of fun to write, I hope it was just as fun to read!)

posted on AO3 | the prompt list | my writing

Words: 1.5k | Warnings: Post-Umbara Arc, Grief/Mourning, Angst (and lots of it, sorry-not-sorry), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, a certain Besalisk's name is briefly mentioned (okay, I am sorry for this one)

GHOSTS IN THE UMBRA

20BBY

☾

CT-0292 couldn't sleep. When he closed his eyes, rounds of blue plasma bolts flashed through the darkness behind his lids. Hands, his own hands, held a DC-15 carbine aloft, and one single finger under his control pressed on the trigger, mowing down the Umbarans in their disguises.

But they hadn't been Umbarans. They'd been his brothers.

A strangled sound escaped him, somewhere between a gasp and a sob that he caught in his throat. His chest ached with the effort to hold it, the urge to release it. And it ached as if his brothers had occupied a place there, the loss of them leaving the muscles of his heart to constrict around empty space.

He blinked away sharp tears, then pushed off the weighted blanket – its presence more suffocating than soothing – and climbed out of his rack. He gathered up the armour stacked in a neat pile from the foot of the bunk's frame and applied it, piece by piece, from foot to neck.

If he couldn't sleep, he might as well be useful. He'd never been very good at keeping still.

Around him, his brothers lay in their cots; some slept, restless, while others remained painfully conscious. From his own squad, only himself, Wil (Private), and Ridge (Private) remained. The others, along with their sergeant, had fallen to General Krell's lightsaber.

All was quiet. And Ridge was nowhere to be seen.

0292 shook his head, lightheaded, the back of his neck prickling. After checking his blaster was fastened to his belt, he tucked his helmet under one arm and crept through the rows of bunks like a ghost, leaving the sterile barracks behind.

For a moment, he stopped outside the blast doors as they sshhed to a close behind him, and took a deep breath. Had he caught the scent of rain and salt water in the air, it might have grounded him; but this planet was as unfamiliar to his nose as it was to his eyes and ears. With the tang of metal in his nostrils and on the tip of his tongue, he set off across the floodlit compound.

Beyond the sensor wall, he spotted the warm glow of a natural fire flickering in the perpetual dusk, its light peeking through the mist and the dense formation of local flora. He frowned. Patrol taking a break, perhaps?

CT-0292 made his way to the airbase's entrance. As he approached the gate, he passed skeletons of Umbaran machinery looming out of the fog, and squads of troopers pacing as silent as wraiths.

The planet was reclaimed, but no one had come out of the campaign unscathed.

At the gate, two troopers bearing the colours of the 212th stood guard, blasters held across their bodies, and faced the darkness beyond. With the sight of their armour came a fresh wave of guilt, at once hot and cold, that settled in the pit of his stomach. He cleared his throat upon approach; one started as if he'd been shot, and the other patted him on the shoulder.

"Easy, trooper," said 0292, holding out a placating hand. "Just passing through, lending a hand to patrol. That them over there?"

They followed the direction of his pointer finger, to the small fire burning gold in the gloom. The one coiled as tightly as he himself nodded, and turned back to him. "They're taking it in turns to sweep the perimeter."

"Thanks." He inclined his head, and stepped over the threshold of the airbase.

As his footsteps tapped a muffled rhythm into the damp earth, the chill air cooled the sheen of sweat on his forehead, and pressed cold fingers to the nape of his neck. With a shiver, he donned his helmet and activated its spot-lamp, before succumbing to Umbara's gloaming.

*

CT-0292 walked through the forest of Zabrak Spines, their bioluminescent ridges reaching towards the sky and cutting through the umbra like angry wounds. The glow of giant red thorns shrouded the woodland in an unsettling pallor.

Every small noise was amplified in the stillness around him: the snapping of twigs beneath the feet of tiny creatures, the whooshing of spectral wings overhead, and what seemed like footsteps somewhere behind him, approaching – but when he looked over his shoulder, there was nothing there. Each sound sent a spike of cortisol through his body, and he tried not to hyperventilate to the beat of his pulse.

The immediate threat from the Umbarans had been neutralised. But he and his brothers had found out the hard way that this shadowy world kept its secrets close.

You're out of the woods when you're out of the woods, his instructor back on Kamino used to say. It had seemed redundant to him then.

"What's that you're humming, trooper?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked back and came face-to-face – or helmet-to-helmet – with Captain Rex materialising out of the fog, easy to identify by the jaig eyes and the modified armour.

The captain removed his bucket, brow furrowed in concern, and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Relax. I didn't mean to startle you," he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "It sounded familiar, the song you were humming."

"I didn't realise I was humming it aloud," the trooper admitted, face heating as Captain Rex fell into step beside him. "I was thinking of my instructor, back at the facility: she smuggled her own radio into Tipoca, and she'd play it for us during downtime. That one was her favourite, I think. I don't know the words, though. Just the tune."

"Ah."

They walked for a way in companionable silence, each lost to their own thoughts. Confronted once more with the familiar face of his brothers, CT-0292 replayed the moment of terrible realisation, and the skirmish with Krell. The Jedi – if one could even call him that – might have been dealt with on a permanent basis, but his reach would extend far beyond his death.

"Couldn't sleep, either?" asked the captain, dragging him out of his own memories.

He shook his head.

Rex sighed. "It's a brutal world out there."

CT-0292 couldn't be sure if he was referring to Umbara, or the entire galaxy. 

"I admit," he began, "I wasn't expecting to kill other people. I've been training to take down and disable battle droids for nearly ten years, and I thought I was ready, but this …"

It didn't even begin to cover the atrocity of slaughtering his own, knowingly or not.

They heard the voices of their brothers before they saw them, hushed and sombre. Upon stepping out of the forest, they found themselves in a small clearing, lit from above by towering plants, incandescent with pink and purple and blue light, and lit from within by a humble campfire. At least ten troopers were gathered around it, talking in lowered voices amongst themselves.

Rex came to a halt on the edge of the clearing, and stopped 0292 with a hand on his arm.

"If it's of any comfort," he said, "every one of us here is feeling the same right now. No campaign is easy, no life lost is worth less. But this mission has taken its toll more than any other. You say you're not ready, but I recognise the blue bird painted on your bucket. I saw you take charge of your squad when Sergeant Jax was killed, and you kept the rest of them alive. There might well be a promotion coming your way."

A promotion. He'd always harboured the hope of making his way up the ranks, proving his worth and ability along the way. Seeing the captain in action, the way he was respected and admired, had only solidified that desire. But he hadn't entered the GAR as a sergeant, or a captain. It had never really occurred to him before now that someone would have to die for him to take their place.

But he nodded, and said, "Thank you, Captain."

"What's your name, trooper?"

"CT-zero-two-ni—"

"Your name, trooper," Rex clarified. The smile on his lips belied the sadness in his eyes.

CT-0292 removed his helmet. "It's Vaughn, sir. My batchmates called me Vaughn."

"Then welcome to the five-oh-first, Private Vaughn. Over there are your brothers. It won't always be easy, but whatever happens, we look out for each other. And I know you barely got to see General Skywalker in action, but I can promise you that he – and Commander Tano – are nothing like Krell. You'll see."

"Thank you, sir."

Captain Rex clapped him on the arm, then strode off across the clearing, towards the campfire. Vaughn followed, kicking up the smell of damp earth and decaying foliage, sickly sweet in his nostrils. He was pleased to see his squadmate, Ridge, among the ranks of troopers around the flames, and another who'd introduced himself as Sterling just one rotation prior.

"Room for two more, boys?"

☽

Thank you so much for staying to the end! Even though I enjoy reading some good ol' angst, it's definitely tricky to write, so it was nice to stretch those muscles for this prompt. Hope you liked it 💜

[fandomlit]

the horror (ben hargreeves x reader)

requested by anon “I’m a sucker for whump so... can we get a bittersweet Ben angst where Ben was brainwashed into attacking/hurting the UA including the reader? Thank you!”

summary ben loses control of his power during a mission and is set on hurting the people closest to him. and though the rampage is merciless and violent, something in him changes when he realizes he’s hurting you.

warning injury, angst

gif cred belongs to @andyoudoctor​

“shit, shit, shit, shit!” klaus seethed as he ran to your family’s apartment. he continued his mantra as he climbed up the familiar fire escape and peered into your window. your room was dark. “fuck!” he yelled before returning to the first word he was spewing as he climbed back down.

he could hear screams getting louder and louder as they drew closer to him.

“shit! where the hell is she?” he exclaimed, grabbing at his hair in frustration.

“klaus! did you get y/n?” allison asked as she approached. he shook his head frantically. “okay, i have an idea, but we gotta run!”

they broke into a sprint as allison whipped out her phone.

“okay, i should’ve thought of that one!” he yelled over the whipping wind as she dialed your number and brought the phone to her ear.

“allison? what’s going on?!” you exclaimed frantically, loud enough for klaus to hear.

“y/n, where are you?” she asked.

“i was at the park when i saw a building crash,” you explained. “im still here. is everyone okay?”

“i-i don’t know,” she said. “just stay where you are!” she hung up quickly.

“the park is four blocks opposite of us!” klaus yelled. “how are we gonna get there before he does?”

“i can get you there,” a begrudging voice sighed before they were both grabbed. next thing they knew, they were at the park. five let go of them before muttering, “sayonara,” and was off again.

“allison! klaus!” you exclaimed when you saw them. everyone else was fleeing the park as you ran toward them. “what on earth is going on? where’s ben?”

“yeah about that,” klaus panted, pointing toward the mass coming toward all of you. “that’s him.”

your eyes widened as you realized it truly was ben, his tentacles guiding him high throughout the city, destroying everything in its path. “oh, ben..”

“we gotta go!” klaus exclaimed, grabbing your arm and starting toward the opposite direction of ben. 

then there was a crash behind you, and allison squeaked, “too late.” the shadow loomed over all of you, making you cling to klaus’s arm in fright. in the center of it all, ben’s expression was neutral, eyes glowing as tentacles swarmed frantically around the park, looking for something to grab onto and break. you took a shaky breath, trying your best to keep yourself together.

allison stepped forward bravely. “i heard a rumor-!” she was cut off when she was grabbed around the stomach, mercilessly swung through the air by a tentacle as she yelped.

klaus shouted, “ben, stop!” he screamed when a tentacle hit the ground right in front of him, leaping back. “well, it was worth a shot.” then he was scooped up, as well, screaming as he was whipped through the air.

you backed up in absolute fear, your blood running cold. you tripped over the edge of the playground, falling on your butt onto the mulch with a yelp. you immediately braced yourself to get snatched up, but it didn’t help how your breath was immediately knocked out of your lungs when you were grabbed.

you attempted to gasp for breath when you were lifted higher into the air, but the tentacle was directly wrapped around your hips and abdomen. you braced your hands on the appendage, trying to pull yourself out of the grasp even a little bit, but it was no use. you attempted a gasp again, instead choking on your breath.

you felt yourself getting lightheaded and you began hyperventilate, tears coming to your eyes. you let out a stuttering sob when the appendage squeezed you harder, making your legs numb. and everything stopped.

you didn’t bother to open your eyes as you felt yourself stop moving. the tentacle began to loosen its hold and you gasped desperately for air, tears flowing freely down your face. when you opened your eyes, you were directly in front of ben. his eyes were no longer glowing. and he looked absolutely heartbroken.

you looked back when you heard allison yell, seeing she had been dropped safely onto a bush. she breathed in relief just before klaus landed less than gracefully on top of her. you looked back over to ben just as the tentacle lowered you to the ground and then retracted back into his stomach with the rest.

your lungs and ribs ached, and you immediately fell into a kneel when you touched the ground. allison came running up behind you, placing a hand on your back as a cough wracked your body. as you coughed and gasped, she looked up to see ben had touched ground, panting and covered in sweat and tears.

his eyes were the widest they had ever seen, filled with heartbreak and regret as he looked upon your sobbing form. allison nodded him over, but he didn’t move. he shook his head at her. she gave him a look. hesitantly and slowly, he walked over. 

klaus had knelt next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder as you gathered yourself. when ben stopped in front of you, you looked up at him. but instead of looking terrified and disgusted, your expression was filled with concern. you hopped to your feet, and even though your legs wobbled, you threw yourself at him.

he caught you in his arms. despite his surprise, he couldn’t help but hug you back tightly and securely.

“are you alright?” you whispered in his ear. he nodded.

“yeah,” he sniffed. “im sorry. im so, so sorry.”

you just hugged him tighter. you whispered with a sniff, “it’s okay. it’s all gonna be okay.”

and though his heart was full for you in that moment, he knew that wouldn’t last long. he still had to face his father after that.

[hearteyesbowen]

hey can you do a joshua imagine where the reader is having a really bad day and he just comforts and spoils her? thank u sm

hold me closer ☆ joshua bassett

josh decides there is only one logical thing to do when y/n is having one of the most stressful days of her life

warnings: fluff

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Soft tunes coming from your car radio ran through your ears, your head leaning back against the headrest. You had already ran out of tears, now you just sat restlessly, focusing on your breathing and calming your heart rate. Your forehead and cheeks were damp, you couldn’t tell if it was sweat from the heat radiating through the vehicle or from the cries wiped across your face. Strands of your hair lay in different directions, mostly because of how much you shuffled it in your hands out of frustration.

It had been almost an hour since you came home from school, the day filled with anger-inducing teachers giving lectures and annoying classmates who couldn’t let you focus on your own work. Homework assignments and class work with no decent explanation on how to answer being piled on top of each other, and a pop quiz that you barely understand and bombed completely. At least it’s friday?

Pulling out your phone, you stared at your lock screen for a few seconds before it turned back off; it was Josh sitting on a tree branch, waving at you with his signature smile. A small smile swept across your face, then with a loud huff, you decide to text him.

Y/N

can i come over? i’m not feeling too great

Within a few seconds, you saw his name pop up onto your screen with a loud ding.

Joshy 💕

you don’t have to ask, hurry up!

You grabbed your backpack that was thrown into the passenger’s seat and opened your door. Fumbling with the keys in your hands, you unlocked your front door and trudged to your room. You left your school backpack by your bed and looked for your other bag. You didn’t have to worry about bringing extra clothes, some of yours were left at his house in case you wanted to sleep over. Before leaving, you told your mother you would stay at Josh’s house for the night, and quickly made your way to your car.

➢➣ ➢➣

Walking up the path to Josh’s house only made you grow more hungry for some sort of interaction that wasn’t an adult or stranger. You hadn’t realized how much you’ve missed seeing your boyfriend these past few days. School has been slowly taking over your life and you barely realized how much you have ignored him.

Once you reached the front door, you lifted your hand to knock, but instead you were taken back when the door swung open before you could touch it. Josh was standing inside, a worried smile and flushed cheeks.

“I was waiting for you by the window, I got excited to see you.”

Suddenly you couldn’t form any words. Your throat was dry and you felt your breathing halt. Your vision slowly got cloudy, and your legs began to feel unsteady.

Josh noticed immediately and grabbed onto your waist, bringing you into his chest. Your arms flew to wrap around his shoulders as you buried your head into his neck. He made sure to hold you tightly, worried that you would fall. His hands rubbed up and down your back, trying to soothe you as you sobbed into him. He didn’t dare to let go, he had been wanting to hold you again but didn’t think it would be like this. You slowly lifted your head, looking up at his somber expression. One of his hands moved up to your face, wiping away the wet trails left behind and moving hair from your face to behind your ear. His lips came to touch your forehead, letting his kiss linger for a few seconds.

“You want to sit down and tell me what’s wrong?” His voice was barely a whisper.

You nodded your head, making Josh dip down to scoop you up from under your legs and carrying you as if you were his bride. He carefully walked to his room, trying not to move too quickly to prevent a possible headache or dizziness.

Once he sat down on his bed, you now sitting on his lap, he leaned down to kiss your cheek. A small blush formed on your cheeks, already making you feel better.

“Tell me everything, sweetheart.”

You let out a slow breath, reaching out for his free hand and playing with his fingers.

“I’ve just been having the worst few days recently. All my teachers make me so mad and I’m just not understanding any of the work we’ve been doing and I’m scared to ask them for help because they might get mad at me for being too dumb and I’m scared that I’ll fail all my classes and we have so much work that I can’t keep up with and my classmates are just the most annoying people ever and I don’t know what to do.”

You began to hyperventilate, quickly feeling the stres rush through you again. Josh held onto you tighter, pulling you as close as he could while he rubbed your arms. You tried your best to calm yourself down, preventing yourself from crying again.

“And I feel so bad for not texting you back as quickly or not being able to answer your calls because I was trying to do my work and I’ve just been a terrible girlfriend-”

“No, don’t say that, you’re literally the perfect girl. I’m not going to be mad at you for doing homework and trying to learn, I know it’s tough.” He smiled down at you, trying to make you feel better. “I love you, ok? You’re here now, and it’s the weekend, so I’ll take care of you.”

“I love you, Joshy.”

Your hands crept up to hold his cheeks as you leaned in, planting your lips on his. It was nothing too rough or passionate, but slow and gentle. His smile peaked through, making you follow. Oh, how you’ve missed this.

He pulled away, leaving his forehead on yours. “I’ll be back, I’m going to get you some water and something to eat.” He carefully set you down on his bed, quickly running to the other side to grab his teddy bear. “Franklin will keep you company while I’m gone.”

You giggled as he gave you the bear, clutching it tightly to your chest. It smelled somewhat like him, probably because you knew he slept with it every night, as much as he denies it. He sprinted out of the room, his footsteps loud enough for you to hear from downstairs.

Ten minutes went by, and you started to wonder what this boy could be doing. That is, until you heard something drop and a small curse from behind the slightly open door. You watched as his door was slowly pushed open, showing his back. He turned around and you couldn’t help but smile at what he was holding.

“I didn’t know what you were craving at the moment, so I just brought a picnic basket with all your favorite things.” He said proudly.

You patted the area next to you, motioning for him to sit with him. He skipped to the other side, climbing onto the bed with you. The basket was set in between you two, and he rubbed his hands excitedly before he opened it.

“I brought water and lemonade, some chocolate from that one candy store you really like, some chips just in case you wanted something salty, and some fruit so it feels like we’re eating healthy.” He exclaimed, showing you each of the items.

His eyes brightened, as if he gained another idea. He jumped off from the bed and ran to the other side of the room, searching through one of his drawers. He pulled out a pink candle and some matches.

“Why do you keep matches in your room?” You wondered, watching as he turned off the lights and placed the candle next to you on his bedside table.

He picked up a match and striked it against the box, erupting a bright fire and putting it along the candle wick. “I bought some after I bought this candle.”

You blew out the match as he held it closer to you, laughing as he fanned the smoke coming to his face. He grabbed his laptop from his desk and went back to sit down next to you on his bed.

“We’ll watch some movies together, too. I’m going to make sure that you feel real better really soon.”

As Josh opened Netflix and quickly picked a random movie, you picked up a grape from the basket and looked at him giddily. He sat up and opened his mouth, letting you throw it at him. The fruit his forehead, causing the both of you to laugh.

He scooted closer to you, opening his arms for you to cuddle him. You snuggled up to his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso and his around your shoulder. Nothing else mattered as he held you closer, just you and him laying down, laughing and spending much needed quality time.

You looked up from the movie after a few minutes, taking in the sight in front of you. His smile made you turn warm. His eyes glanced between yours and your lips, until he leaned down to kiss you once again. Your hands went to his cheeks as his moved to your waist, his kiss deepening as the white noise from the movie slowly blurred out.

Yeah, you could get used to relaxing like this.

A/N - hi im back . im still so sorry for leaving and stuff but hey im back now and slowly releasing these really late requests . if u want to know what happened i made a post on saturday so go check that if u want idk . but anyways i hope u like this one, love y’all so so much xx

taglist - @love-joshy @mzzjads

[lauraashley93]

Stormy Weather

-reader is afraid of the dark so when there’s a storm and a power outage. Ez comes to her rescue.

Warningd: none

It was finally the weekend and you were so excited. Work had been long and stressful and it had you in a gloomy mood. All you wanted to do was spend your night on the couch with your boyfriend Ez and relax. The thought of being curled up next to him in his white muscle shirt and boxers had you grinning from ear to ear brightening your mood immensely. That was until you got to the exit door and seen it was piss pour raining outside. You sighed, instantly feeling your mood turning gloomy again.

You were driving home silently cursing the rain as it pours harder. You were a little scared of storms. You gulped as thunder and lightening cracked across the sky just praying it would stop. You pulled into your drive way as you ran to the safe warm confinement’s of your home. You went straight to the bathroom turning on a hot shower. Changing out of your now wet clothes and trying to warm up. You stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out, sighing you begrudgingly got out of the shower and quickly dried off and got changed into your favorite sweat pants and hoody.

You looked at the time, it was only 6 o’clock. You still have another hour before Ez said he’d be home. You started making dinner trying to distract yourself from the storm going on. You busied yourself with chores around the house until you heard the oven beep alerting you that your lasagna was done. As soon as you pulled it out of the oven BOOM,CRACK! You dropped the lasagna on the floor then the lights went off. You screamed and took off running. You ran straight into the hallway table which made you scream again. “PLEASE DONT KILL ME” you dropped to the ground until you realized what you had done. You calmed yourself down and got up as you hurriedly looked for the flashlight and took off running up stairs. You ran straight for the closet and slid to the corner trying not to hyperventilate.

—————————-

Ez was at the club house waiting for the rain to slow down a bit. He didn’t wanna ride his bike all the way to your house and get drinched.

“Aye yo Boy Scout ain’t you supposed to be getting back to y/n?” Angel said to Ez with a smirk on his face. “Yeah, that’s why I wish the damn rain would lighten up so I could do so. She’s making lasagna tonight and the thought of it makes my mouth water.”

Coco laughed. “Yeah I’m sure it’s the lasagna that makes your mouth water. I could think of a couple other things that would be better.” Ez rolled his eyes at Coco’s comments even though he knew he was absolutely right. Everything about you turned Ez on and so he cursed the rain even harder because now thoughts of you and him were flooding his mind and his member was making himself known.

“Hey, isn’t y/n afraid of storms?” Gilly said from beside Coco. “And the dark? Because there’s been a power outage according to this weather app on my phone.”

Ez’s eyes grew wide. “Oh shit. She’s probably freaking out! Fuck it, I gotta go.”

And with that Ez was out the door and on his bike. Mother Nature must have decided to have some sympathy on him as the rain had lightened up a tad. Ez was going as fast as he could to get to you knowing you were probably panicking and freaking out. He finally pulled into your driveway, getting off his bike he ran toward the porch and to the front door. It was locked which didn’t surprise him any he used his key and opened the door. All the lights were out. He kicked his boots off and started searching for you.

“Y/n?? Where are you??” He didn’t see you in the living room or kitchen. He started up the stairs and opened your bedroom door. He seen a slight glow coming from the closet and he smirked to himself. Of course you’re hiding.

He slowly opened the door to the closet. He tried to not smile but failed so he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the site in front of him. You were sitting here, knees to chest rocking slowly with the flashlight in one hand and bat in the other.

“Y/n, baby, what are you doing in here? It’s just a storm mi Amor. ”

“I, I..” you started sobbing and you practically jumped into his arms “I was just minding my own fucking business trying to cook you dinner when there was all this booming and lightning and then I dropped the lasagna on the floor and the damned lights decided they didn’t need to work anymore and the hallway table tried to kill me and so I hid in here and I just am so glad you’re here now.” You were disaster. Everything came out in a rush as you gasped between sobs and buried your face into his chest.

“The table tried to kill you?” He tried desperately to hide the amusement in his voice as he rubbed circles on your back. “Do I need to shoot it?”

You looked up at him and blinked a few times. “Are you.. are you laughing at me??” You pushed back from him. “Are you kidding? I was practically almost a victim in a horror movie and you’re laughing at me! What if it hadn’t of been the the table and some pshyco killer?? And see if I make you my lasagna again.. the audacity...

He cut you off and kissed you. Your current irritation and anxiety all but forgotten as he deepens the kiss sliding his tongue against yours you massage his back with yours as you wrap your arms around his neck. He smiles against your lips and pulls away. You whine at the sudden loss of contact and look at him with pouty lips.

“Hey, I was not finished! How are you going to make fun of me and then stop giving me lovins?”

“I was not making fun of you!” You gave him a look and he laughed. “I was simply teasing you. I rushed here as soon as I could to make sure you were okay because of the storm. I love you and I will always be here to protect you.” You smiled and snuggled back to him “even if it is from a psycho killing table”

He laughed as you smacked his chest and narrowed your eyes at him.

“You are just full of jokes today well we will just see how funny you think this is when I don’t give you no attention.”

You crossed your arms and huffed and he smirked and looked at you. Like he was challenging you. He knew good and well that you wouldn’t say no to any attention he gave you.

“Oh? So if I did this..?” He slowly kissed your neck and nibbled slightly at your skin. Uh-oh. You were in trouble. Your eyes closed as you moaned softly. He knew your weakness.

“I, no, i dont... what was the question again?” He chuckled as his bit your ear lobe softly. “How about we take this to the bed and I’ll make sure you forget all about this awful storm and make sure you feel safe and protected?”

You nodded eagerly. “I’ve been looking forward to that all day” Ez smiled as he picked you up without effort and threw you over his shoulder. You giggled as he threw you gently on the bed.

“Now, where were we?” You smiled and bit your lip. “I think we were right about here” You leaned in and kissed him as all your worries about the dark and the storm faded away.

@angelreyesgirl @auroraariza @spookys-girl @trulysuccubus @stunning-shitz @rosieposie0624 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @skyofficialxx @strawberrywritings @bucky-iss-bae @miss-nori85 @cind-in-real-life @deeandbobbymcgee @starrynite7114 @louisianalady @itsjaybeast @-im-fantastic- @justatiredfool

[mochikeiji]

My Darling // Mafia!Sugawara x Reader

Genre: Blood warning, angst

Pairing: Sugawara Koushi x Reader

Inspiration: Heathers “ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Relationships aren't called that way if love isn't present. You can't agree that both of you are boyfriend or girlfriend; husband or wife if you both didn't love or learn to love eachother. Like with Sugawara. You didn't really have any connections with him when you first met him during your first year in highschool. You've only been good companions like Daichi and Asahi were. But nothing special. You were sad to see that his eyes were on the new girl who joined in the crew, Shimizu Kiyoko was it? A little relief that she didn't have any little interest on him when you asked her one time. She even encouraged you to confess to him. You didn't want to rush things, and wanted to know Sugawara more so you waited until the two of you were third years. Pretty stupid to be confessing with your crush when graduation is nearing. You'll be in separate schools in a blink of an eye.

By sheer luck, out of the two years you've spent together, Sugawara had also began to develop feelings for you. Dream come true for everyone who has a crush on someone, am I right? It was a good call for you to wait, and know him more than rush into things without even knowing one bit of eachother. You and him had a lot in common coincidentally, which results to the two of you frequently talking or spending time with eachother in the school campus or after and during his practices. It was wonderful to be in a relationship you've been preparing for, and with the same person you've loved since day one.

If only you had known he wasn't all that sweet, and the man he was now? You would've had time to run away from hell.

"Koushi—"

The splatter of blood was everywhere on the floor. Some got onto your shoe, as you watched in horror the way your lover mercilessly tortures him with cutting his skin deep, but not enough to kill.

"I've always hated men who never keeps the end of their bargain." You covered your ears, another swift sound of the knife swishing in the air before hitting the victims stomach, "Luckily I happen to know how to deal with them. Given the experience I've had for so long, don't you think buddy?" screaming as more blood came out, you could only look away from the traumatizing scene as one of the most fearsome Mafia— your Koushi, ruin him. There were other two men left tied down, for hours they have been begging you to let them go, seeing as you were in your civilian clothes. How did you get here you say? You fell for your husband's traps. He had said he wanted to try something with you somewhere out of the city. You being oblivious thought it was one of his excuses to play volleyball with Daichi and Asahi. It turns out, he was letting you witness the lives everyone you have been closed with since highschool has hidden from you.

"Hey! Come on, lady. Let us out!"

"We'll get you to safety, we promise!"

They were on your side, unable to watch as their leader slowly gets murdered. You didn't know who was the bad guys. Debating whether to follow suit, or remain silence for your own safety. Even still if you tried, you wouldn't be able to move from your body being glued by fear. You were glad Sugawara was in a good distance away from the conversation, you fear for the lives of these men beside you. Imagining a worse case scenario for them if they were ever caught making a deal with his darling.

By now the leader Sugawara has been tormenting was long gone. Your eyes didn't dare look at him, and his sins, crying silently at what had went wrong from the beginning. Before having a chance to turn around, the of the remaining suspects had snuck their way out from their binds, only to be caught by the loud creaking of the warehouse doors. You paled when Sugawara stood by you, with a sadistic smirk plastered on his innocent features.

"It's a good thing I drugged their legs. Look at them, they can't even run far ahead."

The two figures were still on your eyes range. It was true that their movements have been slowed down. Wincing inside, it must've been painful for them at the moment.

"Here, darling. Let's begin our little fun."

You gasped loudly on what he had placed on your hands as you shakily stood up. A gun. His mouth curls down a bit, even in business he doesn't like the sight of you with a frown. It always makes him think you were sad. And he doesn't like it when his darling was sad. That's the only part that was genuine of his.

"Darling, I promise you. They're bad people. They've killed, raped, snuck drugs all of the country."

"W-why do I have to shoot them?"

You wanted to also ask why they deserved this. Why couldn't they be behind bars instead of taking their lives from here and then. But you know arguing with that at the middle of his business may put you at risk.

"I've been in business with the boys since highschool. Secretly, we've been all training, you know, for our protection."

So everyone in Karasuno you've known, even Kiyoko, Yachi. All of them were in some secret organization you never knew.

"And since you, my darling, have been with me for many years. It's time you learn how to deal with people like them for your own good."

He lets you grip on the gun, supporting your hand with his, letting his fingers place yours on the trigger. Putting it in position on one of the tallest men from the distance.

"You'll thank me for teaching you how to deal with monsters, darling."

Blocked by the memories that were all just an illusion. Something inside you clicked along with the trigger around your fingers. Two times. Your eyes widened as you dropped the gun. The man you had just shot two times falling on the ground, you hear his companion scream, "YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!" as his drug wears off, and sprints faster.

"Ah, I hate a goose chase. Stay here, I'll go get him."

As Sugawara runs off deep in the woods, you walked towards the man you had shot. Kneeling beside him, trying to wake him up by gently shaking him.

"S-sir? Please wake up."

No, no. This can't be happening. You had not just killed a might've been "innocent" person. "Please, sir. Get up, please—" stopping, you had felt your hand touch warm substance from his stomach. Blood. Falling from your bottom, slowly raising you hands on your eye level, you chocked a sob. You did this. You've tainted yourself with another person's blood. Hyperventilating, you tried rubbing the blood on the clean sides of the victims black shirt. Shit, shit. The palms of yours was still stained. Your sweat was becoming colder, you were scared.

The Sugawara you once knew. The one who was always a blushing mess around girls. The one who cheered loudly during a volleyball match. The one who wore a smile, and said sweet nothing's and motivational words to you and many people. The one you loved.

He wasn't the person you were with now.

Or, was it all this time?

You heard a louder fire of a bullet in front of you. He had killed the last one remaining. Your brain told you to run, run and report what you had just witnessed. Run to safety. Run away from this hell.

But your instincts told you to stay. Your delusional instincts telling you to wait for the man you, "loved" and live a life that will never be the same as before.

Choking a sob, you let your head fall down to your lap. You didn't want to touch any part of your body with those hands. You could never look at yourself the same way as Sugawara does. You weren't lovely. You weren't a darling.

You had become of him.

A monster.

"Shhh, it's over." warm hands rubbing you back with soft circles, embracing you in a supposedly loving, and safe embrace of the arms of your protector. "You did so good, darling." giving you a small praise, he kisses your forehead affectionately, drawing in his body closer so that he was holding you— so that you wouldn't run and escape him.

"I love you, (Y/n)."

Gritting your teeth as you buried your face on his shoulder blades. He could only smile at your gesture, thinking your arms were moving up to embrace him back.

*bang*

His smile trickled blood from the corner of his lips.

The gun you had earlier was hidden im your jacket this whole time.

By your own quick thinking, you had no choice.

It was to protect yourself from a monster, right?

The gun fell down. Your arms quickly squeezing Sugawara, hugging him back as you sobbed uncontrollably. He was still shock— betrayed. But he finds himself smiling softly when you utter out his favorite words.

He accepted his fate. He had know he'll reach his time. Just didn't expect he'd die in the arms of his darling so soon.

The box that held a ring will forever remain unknown in his pocket.

All the memories you had with him. You didn't care if it was all lies or the truth. You still loved him. Your Koushi.

"I love you, Koushi. Sleep well..."