#ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS WHY AM I STILL SICK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[problemcore]

my body is back to being cringe once again

[coelakanths]

bad memory + pretty alright at poetry = crying when i reread stuff ive written

[s4turday-sun]

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[i-cant-sing]

Time Traveller AU part 12

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Part 10 is here. Part 11 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

You and Silas stared at each other.

"What do you mean "okay"?"

You nod. "Okay, I'll marry you."

He looked at you suspiciously. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"That is not an answer." He frowned, making you sigh as you turned your body to face him completely. "Look, you're going to pay me anyways right?" He nodded. "So, I need the money, and well... lets just say I have nothing else left to lose. Maybe I'm just bored."

Bored? More like pissed at the universe and I will not let it beat me to the ground anymore. I wont go out without causing chaos and maybe if someone tries to kill me again, I will perhaps consider disrupting the historical timeline to make the universe itself combust and unravel. If I'm suffering, I'm taking the universe along!

Silas gave you an incredulous look, before shrugging in defeat. "Very well, then."

"Wait-" You stop him from getting up. "Why did you choose me? Actually, why do you need a wife?"

He rolled his eyes, standing up, you following along. "Come on, Silas. Tell me. Is it cause I'm pretty? Smart-"

"You dressed as a man."

What?

"What?"

He looked down at you. "What? You didnt think I'd spot you in that poor disguise at the newspaper office that day?"

Silas saw me that day? He recognised me?

"How did you even-" He scoffed. "I'm intelligent. And I have eyes. I notice everyone and everything." He turned around and began walking away.

"Wait!" You ran after him. "That still doesnt answer my question! You're marrying me because I dressed like a man? What- you're attracted by that-"

"Stop talking." Silas cut you off abruptly. "I chose you because you work at the newspaper, not because you're a man."

"Oh. So you need someone to write out articles singing your praises?Cant you just pay someone to do that?"

He rolled his eyes. "No. I dont need someone to sing my praises. I need you to be the mole there. I want you to report everything that happens at the paper, specifically about the murders thats been on going these days."

Murders? Murders-

"The White Chapel murders?" He nodded. "I need the papers to focus on them, not on me or who I am marrying. I need them to put the pressure on the cops to catch that sick bastard! Not idolise him with that stupid alias-"

"Jack the Ripper." You finish for him. He breathes heavily, anger radiating off him. "Yes, that. Because its only causing people to either admire him for killing off those prostitutes or fear him, letting the idea of them terrorise them!"

"I see. But... why do you need to get married to me for that? I mean, if you pay me, I could just report to you everything from there, including his letters."

Silas looked at you in slight annoyance, as if mad that you couldnt figure out his motives.

"The papers are focusing on me and my marriage. If I get married, the news will only run for a week or two before diverting their attention to the papers. And before you ask why I'm marrying you specifically instead of someone much better suited to my tastes-" okay, not gonna take that insult to heart. "- I told you, you work at the paper, which means you'll report everything to me. And if I were to marry someone more influential, the papers will continue to write about us for longer. But you? You're a nobody- believe me, I checked. You have no family, dont come from nobility, so no one will talk about you. "

Great. "Wow, you do know how to flatter a woman."

Silas smirked. "Trust me, "a woman" would be flattered-" You shot him a glare before he could finish off his joke.

-

Silas and you got married later that night. He arranged an out-of-town priest, some official documents, and two witnesses for the vows, which were his butler Cadbury and his wife, Erin, who acted as the best man and maid-of-honor. It was obvious that Silas wanted to keep this ceremony a secret, and he told you that the time will come to break the news.

When the priest asked him to kiss you, SIias pulled a face and said to skip over that part because you had bad breath. You did not. Jerk.

But you were glad you didnt had to kiss him, so you didnt bother kicking his shin. Maybe nearly dying so many times has made you grow a pair, or maybe its the fact that you dont actually consider this a real marriage because a Nikkah (an Islamic wedding) ceremony did not happen, so technically, you're still single, but you're surprised at how... calmly you've come to terms with everything.

Silas let you go back to you house, because the marriage was the still a secret so there's no use keeping you around at his place. Besides, he needs you to continue working on the murders.

Honestly, you do kind of want to find out who Jack the Ripper is. Any historian worth his salt, dreams of this very opportunity you've been given- to find out the man behind all the horrendous, gut wrenching murders.

Colin watched you get up from your desk and go to the corner office where Will was working on the murders. Poor Will. Colin pitied the lad- he had to deal with the gruesome details of the murders, write out the articles in details that are just pallatable enough for the readers, only to be rejected by the editor who wanted the front page news to be about Silas FitzGeorge.

What were you doing there? Colin didnt think it was best for you to go in there, after the depressing weeks you'd barely pulled yourself through. Grisly details of a killing spree might not be what you need at the moment.

"Hey Will!" You walk in his office, changing your voice to that of a man.

"Holmes." He acknowledged you briefly, his hair a mess as well his desk. If anyone knew how giddy you were everytime someone in the office called you Sherlock Holmes, you'd be labelled a loser for sure.

"Still working on those murders, eh?" You walk closer to his desk. "Any leads on who the mystery man might be?"

"No." He glared at you. "I would, if the coppers were to do their job and the editor published my work, but noooo. God forbid we miss any details on that FitzGeorge fella and his tragic life. Cry me a fucking river-" Ah, a fellow Silas hater. You can work with that.

"Let me help you." You offer him. Will raises his brow, before scoffing. "Unless you can somehow have the editor publish my articles, I dont think you can help me. Besides, I dont need an amateur disturbing me because he's just wants to see a dead body."

Amateur? Pfft, I'll have you know I was a minor celebrity on Wattpad at just age 11 when I wrote Sherlock Holmes fanfics-

"How about this? If I can convince the editor to post your work, will you let me help?"

Will stares at you, studying you for a moment.

"Fine."

You walk out of his office and go to your desk where Colin is already waiting for you.

"Hey, Colin." You greet him, sitting down as you pull a blank sheet of paper from your drawer and start writing on it.

"Hey... Sherlock. What were you doing in-" He leans down to read what you're writing. "Jack The Ripper- why are you writing about him?"

You shrug. "Why not? He's an important figure to talk about and needs to be caught. If the papers bring enough attention to him, it'll put pressure on the authorities to work harder to catch him."

"I get that, but- I mean, you already have the FitzGeorges to write about and what about other douches in high society?" Colin tried to persuade you.

"I'll write about them too, in fact. Dont worry about it. I'm going to bring you some real dirt soon." You tell him before picking up the pen again, but Colin grasps your wrist, stopping you.

"Y/n, I just dont think that you should be working on this right now-"

"Colin." You cut him off, freeing your wrist. "I'm grateful for your concern for my well being, but I assure you- I am not made of glass. I can handle my business. Besides, this is something that has intrigued me. Let me work on it, please." You say before returning to writing down your points on the homicidal maniac.

-

After work, you changed out of your disguise and went to the antique store on Regent street, or what was left of it.

You knew there was no chance, but something inside you hoped that your time machine had survived.

The store was burnt down, and since the interior was mainly made of wood, most of the antiques had burnt to ashes or at least, damaged beyond repair and could not be sold.

You stood outside the ruins off the store, the property was sealed off and guards stood outside it, not letting you in.

"Please, I just need to-"

"Like I said, miss. We were given specific instructions not to let anyone in." The guard cut you off, annoyed by your insistence.

Before you could argue again, someone walked up behind you.

"Y/n." Henry looked at you. He was dressed well, his hair combed and face shaved, well kept as he usually was but his eyes.... he had bags under his eyes. Like he hadnt slept in days.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, um- I just wanted to see if my stuff is still there."

He nodded at his guards to step aside, leading you inside the shop.

"Look around. See if you can find it." Henry's tone was flat, as if he already knew.

Still, you looked around. You searched the whole place, not even finding the remains off your machine. And how could you? It was made of mostly plastic and very cheap metal, its not like you had funds to make it indestructible.

Or incombustible.

"Satisfied?" He asked you when you finally stopped looking for it.

You huff. "If you'd just given it to me before-"

"Y/n." He cut you off. "I lost my store. I lost my employee who was working in here, who was blasted to pieces. I lost more money than you can ever imagine and you have the nerve to stand there and try to blame it on me? After I'd given you the courtesy to look through my property to put your mind to ease?"

He admonished you, all while barely letting his rage slip through his voice. He was holding back from blowing up on you, but it did not help because you still felt small.

Because he is right. He lost an employee. He lost money. He lost too, and yet you have the audacity to complain to him like he was somehow at fault.

And he wasnt. Its not like he bombed his store.

"Do you know who did it?" You ask, diverting your eyes to avoid his piercing gaze.

"No one "did" it. It was an accident." Henry looked at the floorboard. "Apparently, there was gunpowder in some of the artefacts that came from China that day. The employee probably didnt check it when he put it on the table, next to a candle. Then one got lit up and it set off all the others, blowing up the whole store."

That... sounds like a big coincidence.

"Henry, are you sure someone wasnt behind this-"

"Y/n, I dont have time to entertain your wild theories right now. I have to deal with insurance and other things. Please leave." He cut you off abruptly.

Without giving him another moment to bruise your self esteem, you stormed out of his store. By the time you reached home, it was dark, which wasnt the best idea with a murderer on the loose- as the boys made it clear.

"Do you have any idea what he's capable of?! Have you seen the crime scenes?!" Liam yelled at you.

"No. But its not like I'm a prostitute, so he wont hurt me." You answer from your seat between Benjamin's legs, who insisted on brushing the knots out of your hair and placing some essential oils in your hair.

Liam looked at you like you'd grown two heads. "How would he know that?!"

You leaned forward, frowning. "Okay if you're saying that you cant the difference between a prostitute and me, then thats just insulting to me and to you as a police officer!"

Shepherd suppressed a chuckle as he handed a drink to Liam to calm him down. As they continued to joke around, you mind went to your time machine.

Sure, you could try making it from scratch again. It'll be difficult, and not just because there isnt enough technology to make the whole thing by yourself, but also because the mere idea of building a time machine could have you lobotomised.

So yes, one of the reasons why you agreed to marry Silas was because of his money that would not only let you buy expensive raw materials but also allow you to have a space to make the machine in secret.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Colin left to see who it was, returning moments later with a huge box in his hand.

"Its for you." He set the box down and handed you the letter that came with it. You read the letter while the boys opened the box-

"Tomorrow. 7:30 pm sharp.

Dont be late, missus."

The "missus" part gave away that it was from Silas. What was he planning? Were you supposed to go to his place or was he going to pick you up? What was going to happen tomorrow?

"Woah! Who is this from?" Shepherd asked as he looked at the fancy dress in the box. He pulled it out of the box, the gown flowing down effortlessly. "It looks expensive- this is expensive, right? Its expensive." He stated before repeating his question to you. "Who is it from, Y/n?"

You folded the letter as you saw them all looking at you. "I... I might have a date-"

"With who?" Benjamin asked sharply.

"I-" You sigh. "I'll let you know after the date. Lets see how it goes first."

"Oh, come on! Just tell us!" Liam probed, but you took the dress from him, putting it back in the box and taking it to your room, not noticing how silent Colin had went.

-

You stood in front of the mirror, looking at your reflection while Ben did your hair. Wearing the black velvet gown that had a white blouse and long skirt underneath, puffy regency era sleeves and a belt at the bust, you looked elegant.

Seeing as you had no jewellery to pair the outfit with, Ben styled your hair down, curling the locks and putting a dainty black silk bow on the back, trimming the front of your hair so that they framed your face.

"There's a carriage waiting for you!" Shepherd informed you before going back to gushing about the rich fella you'd managed to bag.

You turned around for Ben for the finishing touches. He smiled softly at you, taking your hands in his and squeezed them gently.

"Dont force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with, hm? Just because he gave you this dress doesnt mean he can do anything he wishes." You nodded, returning his smile. "And remember, you have me and the boys to beat anyone who upsets you, Y/n." He winked making you giggle.

Standing outside the carriage, you looked up and waved to the 3 boys standing in the window before getting inside.

"Ah, I hope she knows how to use that knife I gave her." Liam mumbled, making Shepherd yell at him.

"You gave her a knife?!"

"What? She needs to protect herself when there's a murderer on the lose-"

As the two continued to bicker, Benjamin went to his room and packed some scissors and razors in a small bag, before leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" Colin asked, finally speaking for the first time that evening. Sitting on the sofa chair, he'd been nursing on a drink the entire time you were getting ready for your drink. He kept quiet, pretending to be to engrossed with reading the paper to notice you getting dressed for your date night.

"I... have a client." Ben said, putting on his top hat and leather gloves before wearing his coat.

"This late?" Colin raised a brow.

Ben gave a nod.

"He... he needs a haircut urgently."

Colin stared at him before sighing, picking up his drink.

"Alright. Be careful. Its foggy out there."

-

Sitting inside the carriage alone, you wondered where the buttler was taking you. Since Silas isnt here with you, then its likely that you're being taken to him at the FitzGeorge estate.

You take a deep breath, fiddling with the velvet of your dress. So tonight will be the night he announces his marriage to you. Or maybe not. I mean, if he did plan on doing that then perhaps he'd be giving you some pointers on how to win over his family? To get their approval? It was a big thing for high society, if not for someone who is loosely attached to royalty.

Maybe thats why he called you over tonight. To soft launch you to his family, something like- "hey, this is Y/n, a girl I fancy. I think she might be the one." so that it seems a lot more believable when he does introduce himself as your husband, probably a few weeks or a month from now.

Yes. Silas doesnt seem like the type to just spring up the union on his family out of nowhere. He is English, he is noble, he wouldnt be one to cause a scene.

The carriage stopped after sometime, and you could hear people chattering outside. Your door suddenly opened, but before you could step out, someone stepped in.

It was Silas.

He sat across from you, wearing a formal dress black suit, his hair styled properly. If your dressing didnt give it away, then his did- it was definitely a black-tie event.

He gave you a nod of acknowledgement, looking you up and down.

"Here, wear this." He handed you a velvet lined box. Opening it, you saw a beautiful pearl necklace and matching tear drop earrings.

"Oh, this is... beautiful." You said in awe. "You could've sent this along with the dress, I would've worn my hair differently-"

"No, I didnt want to risk you running off with it." Silas casually insulted you as he began opening the door. "Wear this and dont talk to me or approach me in there."

"Wait, what?" You looked at him confusion.

Silas huffed in irritation. "I'm going to go back inside. You'll walk in after five minutes, and when you do, you will not talk to me, or approach me or do anything that gives away that you know me."

"Silas-" But he left before you could question what he was on about.

So... he wasnt planning on announcing his marriage to you tonight? Wearing the jewellery, you followed his instructions and exited the carriage exactly five minutes later.

But instead of seeing the FitzGeorge house, you were standing in front of a... palace.

A palace you're seen quite a few times.

Buckingham palace.

"What am I...?" You whispered to yourself before composing yourself as other guests began walking past you.

As you ascended the stairs to the entrance where guards stood, you wondered if they'd let you in. Surely, without Silas by your side or an official invitation, they wouldnt let you in. You watched a few guests holding an envelope with a royal seal, an invitation they showed to the guards before being let in.

Heart pounding as you feared the embarrassment you're about to face, you reached the guards who looked at you for a few moments, trying to recognise you before their eyes fell on your necklace and they let you pass.

Ah, so thats why he gave you the jewellery. If you looked like you belonged there, then you probably did.

Why am I here though?

You looked around and saw many people inside, all belonging from high society. This definitely wasnt the place where Silas was going to announce his marriage. So why did he invite you here?

Maybe he wants me to use this as an opportunity to get dirt on high society?

Yes, perhaps, but how would this serve him? Is there a specific person he wants me to get dirt on? Someone I need to write about in the papers?

Silas, what game are you playing?

You spotted him standing in the corner, talking with his cousins and uncles, though you noticed many girls looking at him. Of course, he still is the "most eligible bachelor" to them. If they knew how rude he was, maybe they'd change their opinion.

Walking through the crowd, you began listening on conversations, trying to pick up on interesting bits. It was the usual obnoxious bragging about their wealth, some scandals here and there, disturbing comments about women, etc. Nothing particularly interesting.

Fortunately, you werent bored for long as the royal butler announced the arrival of the hosts. It hadnt truly hit you where you were standing until you heard her name-

"Her Majesty, Queen Victoria-"

Queen Victoria. The Queen Victoria.

You could feel goosebumps raising on your skin, your eyes widening as you realised you're looking at one of the most iconic figures in history. Alive. She's alive and she's walking right in front of you-

She's short. They were right about that. Standing next to her husband, Prince Albert, she looked even shorter. But she looked incredibly happy, full of youth as she stood next to him, unlike all the paintings who depicted her as this angry old widow.

She looked absolutely beautiful.

Her children stood behind her in order, all smiling at their mother. Her daughters, you recognised them all, looked just as beautiful. You recognised her eldest, Edward VII, a 20-something old boy who would end up being hated by his mother and blamed for his father's death. He looked nervous, standing beside her and you could see he was just itching to leave her side and avoid any more scrutiny.

The Queen began speaking.

"Thank you everyone for joining us on this pleasent occasion." She looked around. "Tonight, we are going to welcome a member to our family, even though he has always been a part of us. But now, we will make things official."

"Silas FitzGeorge." She called suddenly. You saw Silas step forward in front of the queen, bowing his head curtly before looking at her confidently.

"You're my cousin Georgie's grandson, and I have no doubt when I say that if he were here tonight, he'd be just as proud of the young man you've become as I am. Our families may have had some issues in the past, but I have always accepted you as a part of me. Over the years, you've only proven me right with how capable you've become on your own, without seeking a helping hand in your adversities. You have made us all immensely proud, as well as your predecessors for being the first man in our family to attend Oxford university. Watching you start businesses and expand your empire, I have no doubt that you will only continue to make the royal family and Britian proud. Therefore, I would like to offer my support and make good on my promise that I made to you when you were a child."

She turned around and a servant handed her a document.

"I hereby make Silas FitzGeorge, the Duke of Westminster."

Oh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-

This was Silas's dukedom ceremony. Why is this a huge deal? Because his grandfather, Prince George was once estranged from the royal family and stripped off his royal duties and benefits when he married Sarah Fairbrother, which meant their descendents were all illegitimate and not recognised by the crown.

But tonight, with Silas becoming a duke, its like a welcome back to the family. That too, by the same woman who had in essence- ostracised his family.

And with Dukedom comes other benefits, money, property, influence. Not to mention that Silas has become the duke of Westminster, as in THE WESTMINSTER! One of the wealthiest dukedoms to get, and also where Westminster palace is, the place which is the meeting place for the Parliament of United Kingdom. It'll allows Silas to have a say and play around with politics.

This is a huge gesture by the queen, and if Silas wasnt the most eligible bachelor before, then he definitely is one.

You watched the queen sign the documents first, before giving it to Silas who signed it. Everyone cheered and clapped for the young duke before stopping as Victoria began speaking again.

"Now, I would like to share more good news." She smiled at Silas, who stood beside her now. "I would like to announce the new duke's betrothal to my daughter, Helena."

What?

The guests clapped again as you saw Silas looking ahead, purposely avoiding your gaze. The queen beamed as she looked back at Helena, who was blushing.

So this is why Silas didnt want you to talking to him. He knew he was going to marry Helena, and he didnt want anyone to even doubt that he's associated with you in any way. Is this his way of telling you that the sham marriage between you two has ended?

Victoria encouraged Silas to say a few words.

Silas looked down briefly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Oh, wow. I am grateful that her majesty has awarded me dukedom. I dont have enough words to express how thankful I am to you." He looked up and you saw a mischievous glint in his eyes. "However, I was only informed of this ceremony and not of my betrothal beforehand."

The queen's head snapped in his direction, as did all of the royals, but Silas continued speaking unfazed.

"I wish I had been told about this earlier to avoid this awkward situation uhhh..." he chuckled nervously, but you could see he was anything but nervous. "I am honoured to be even considered for the princess's hand, your majesty, but I'm afraid I am already married." He announced, looking straight at you.

The hall interrupted into gasps and whispers before they parted the way to let Silas make his walk to you.

With a charming smile, a dimple on his left cheek, he approached you, pulling you into his arms as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple.

"Hi, sweetheart." He whispered loud enough for the onlookers to hear. Your eyes widened, your face flushed at the feeling of everyone's eyes and at his word.

"Si-" The words died down your throat as he placed an arm around your back and pulled you close to his side, showing you off.

"This is Y/n, my darling wife."

With Silas's announcement, the hall went silent once again. Your throat went dry at being put in the spotlight, and your eyes flickered from one guest to another, until finally falling on the queen's, who looked... pissed.

Finally, it was Prince Albert who broke the silence and announced dinner had been served. As the guests began walking out of the hall, Silas lead you out of the palace and to the carriage where his grandmother was waiting for you.

"Go home, now. I'll see you soon." Was all Silas said to you before whispering something to his grandmother, who beamed and nodded, patting his cheek.

"Come on, Y/n. Its getting late, now." Sarah said as she lead you into the carriage, taking her seat next to you, completely unaware of the eyes that had been following you since the moment you'd left home.

-

Silas returned inside, seeing his uncles smirking with pride at the game he'd just played but instead of going to them to celebrate his victory, he went to Prince Albert and Queen Victoria who seemed to be arguing in a low tone in the corner while the guests were being seated in the dining hall.

Clearing his throat, he got their attention.

"Your majesties, I am so sorry for not informing you about my union with Y/n. Its just my wife is terribly shy and we wanted to keep this marriage a secret. But I understand how this creates an embarrassing situation for the crown, and I would like to humbly turn down my dukedom-"

"No." The queen cut him off, her eyes void of any emotion. "The dukedom was awarded to you for your achievements, not because you were asked to marry my daughter. Helena is not something to pawn off to just anyone."

Silas offered a sympathetic smile. "Of course, your majesty. I'm sure you'll find a better suitor for the princess." He took his bow before turning around to enter the dining hall while Victoria stared at his back.

"Are you really still going to keep him as the duke of Westminster?" Albert asked his wife.

She was fuming. But only Albert could tell.

"What choice did I have?" Victoria asked, still glaring at the young boy who dared to play her. "If I took the dukedom away after announcing it publicly, it would've been a far more embarrassment for the crown. They would call us "cheap"."

"We cant let him get away with it." Albert whispered. "Its Westminster. We may rule it, but the duke will still be able to influence the government."

"You think I'm not aware he wants to play politics?" Victoria snapped, before softening her tone. "I wont let him get away with it, Albert. He's just a boy. I am a queen. I wont let him or anyone humiliate us."

Silas sat down besides his cousins as his uncles raised their glasses to him. He sipped his drink, a satisfied grin resting on his face. He knew exactly what he did. Even though no one actually told him that the dukedom came with marriage to the princess, because how callous would it be to ask him to marry her when no one would give up the opportunity of becoming the queen's son-in-law, Silas knew he was expected to marry Helena.

But no one said it. No one asked him. Its the English, they never say what they mean outright, choosing to read between the lines and do what is expected of them, because its more artful, more honourable this way.

Not that Silas could care about traditions. Why would he, when he planned on exacting his revenge?

The queen only came to offer her support when he became successful enough on his own. Where was she when his parents died and his sister was left to take care of him? Sure, Victoria attended the funeral and "promised" to take care of him. But she also said she'd only do that if he proved himself. His grandmother and his sister, Daisy were the ones who raised him.

And now, years later when he got into Oxford without using his family name, without saying "I am related to the queen", when he used his skills to create a powerful business empire that has the potential to influence the British industries, she wants him?

Sure, Westminster has its benefits, but Silas doesnt need Westminster. Westminster needs Silas. He could topple over the government and even shut down Britain herself with just his influence alone. Being a duke just has given him a public platform, an acknowledgement and most importantly, backing from the crown.

And you? Marrying you wasnt just because you happened to be around. Oh no. Silas has plans for you, plans to use you and further his revenge. This is just the beginning.

-

Sarah dropped you back at your place after you insisted that you needed to inform your flatmates of your departure. She gave you a disapproving look when she found out you were living with 4 men and was very determined to have you move in with her and Silas at the FitzGeorge estate, but you were able to persuade her to let you stay the night at home one last time.

"There's something I need to tell you guys." You fiddled with your thumbs as they all sat down in front of you.

"I um... I'm married."

"What?" Shepherd asked. "And you still went on a date?"

"I went on a date with my husband-"

"And who is that?"

You took a deep breath.

"Silas FitzGeorge."

Everyone except for Benjamin broke into laughter.

"Yeah, good one. Seriously, who is it?"

You frowned. "Seriously. Its Silas FitzGeorge."

As you began explaining your situation, even showing them the jewellery that you definitely werent wearing before you left, they started to believe you.

"Y/n- you cant- you cant marry Silas. You cant just marry someone you barely know!" Colin argued.

"What? Havent you heard of "love at first sight"?" You ask but he was unamused. Sighing, you shrugged. "Look, its a marriage that will benefit us both mutually. He gets people nagging him to get married off his back and I get to use his money and influence to get dirt on high society! Besides, I can leave him anytime I want."

"Then leave him now, before its too late." Ben said, standing up as he approached you. He took your shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze. "If its money you're worried about, I'll help you. I can provide for you, Y/n. Dont get into bed with these rich bastards, you dont know how selfish they can be. I- I- dont want you to get hurt-"

"I wont, Benny." You grab his arms, assuring him. "Silas and I are working together. If I go down, so will he. He wont hurt me, he cant. Its too risky for him now, you know? He announced our marriage tonight in front of the queen!"

As you began telling him about how you met the queen and all, Colin quietly left the living room to pour himself another drink, something to knock his brain out so he doesnt have to think about you and Silas.

-

Next day, before the sun even rose, you had packed up a few of your things to go live with the FitzGeorges. All the boys were awake at that time, though Colin's eyes were bloodshot from apparently drinking the wrong liqour, so he sat quietly on the sofa, watching you.

Liam and Shepherd took your bags to put it in the carriage waiting outside, while Ben pulled you in for a hug.

"I'm just moving out, Benny! I'll still see you guys." You laugh, patting his back.

Ben kissed the crown of your head before tucking it under his chin, arms tightening around you. "Just know that you will always have a home here, with us. Dont hesitate to reach out for help. And if Silas or anyone every hurts you, I dont care how rich they are, Y/n. I will take care of them. You just- just come back to us, hm?"

You pulled away from him, wiping a lone tear from your eye. "You're the best, Benny." You whisper before going to Colin, who just stared at you with red eyes.

Leaning down, you poked his cheek. "Kinda wish you werent drunk when I said goodbye, but I guess it makes it easier." Colin continued to stare at you. You grabbed his hand, smiling gratefully at him. "Thank you for everything, Colin. You saved me. Truly." You gave his hand a firm squeeze before leaving, missing him mumble something under his breath.

The carriage took you to the FitzGeorge estate and you were a little disappointed to see only Sarah waiting to welcome you. Its not like you wanted Silas to make a grand gesture to welcome his bride, but you were kinda hoping he was going to ease you into his world while explaining the events of the previous night.

Sarah showed you around the house before leading you to Silas bedroom.

"Cadbury has already placed your bags in there." She turned to you. "This will be your space too, so do make changes to the place as you please."

You smiled shyly at her. Honestly, you dont know whether Sarah knows that Silas only married you for personal agenda, but she wasnt surprised when Silas announced you were his wife.

Sarah looked at you and she placed a hand on her chest, touched.

"Oh, I am so glad you're Silas's girl."

Silas's girl?

"When Silas told me he married you, I was only mad that he did it behind my back! But I suppose it is understandable... these FitzGeorge men always liked to make a statement when it came to love." Sarah said, fondly remembering her late husband.

Sarah continued to gush about you enough for you to know that you dont need to kiss her ass. You have her approval.

When she left, you looked around the large bedroom, Victorian and dark academia was the aesthetic. Wooden panels lined the room, the shelves were stocked with thick books, a study table in one corner, an ottoman chest seat in front of the bed. The entire room was illuminated by the large windows that opened into the balcony, overlooking the large gardens and the cold air of London.

Standing at his balcony, you couldnt help but wonder...

Silas definitely has to HAVE a mega douchebag personality if this was where he was raised.

I mean who wouldnt have an ego trip if they woke up to a view like this, a butler named CADBURY who probably brings him his bland tea and tells him about all the proposals he had, and Silas would just wave a hand in dismissal, telling his butler to reject them all on his behalf.

Silas lived like a king. Or at the very least, lived like the 1% of Britain.

Returning back into the room, you looked at the interior before a grin formed on your face.

Time to snoop around, Y/n. You made your way to his desk.

Lets see what secrets you're hiding, husband.

-

Silas walked in on you folding your clothes and placing them in his closet.

"What do you think you're doing?" He huffed, loosening his tie. He was still in his clothes from last night, having just returned home after celebrating with his uncles and cousins.

You turned to him, faking enthusiasm. "Hello to you too."

Silas rolled his eyes, sitting on his bed. "Dont touch my things." He began untying his shoes.

"Why? You worried my poverty would taint them?"

He looked you dead in the eyes.

"Yes."

"Haha." You close the closet and turn to him. "We need to talk."

He looked at you miserably. "Cant it wait-" "No."

"Fine, then. Go on, I'm listening." He leaned against the headboard while you took your place on the foot of the bed.

"Why didn't you tell me last night that we were going to the palace? Or that you were going to announce our marriage?"

Tired eyes looked at you. "I didnt want to risk you getting cold feet."

Okay. Fair enough.

You gave him a nod. "Fine. Still would've liked a heads-up." "I'll keep that in mind for next time. Good night-" He began closing his eyes when you spoke again.

"No. We still need to talk about our situation." You looked at your lap, smoothing your dress before looking at him again, only to find his tired eyes studying you.

"Silas, who knows that our marriage is not... real?"

"It is a real marriage. We signed proper documents and all." He told you. "What you mean to ask is who knows our marriage is like mutually beneficial business deal? The answer is- no one, except for my butler and his wife, who wont say a word. And I want it to stay that way."

You raised a brow. "So... what exactly is the image you're trying to sell to the world? That we're a young couple, madly in love?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

"Silas." Your tone turned serious. "If you want people to believe this fairytale you're creating, then you need to get your stories straight. And involve me in it too!"

He tilted his head at you before sighing. "Fine. Lets say... we met two months ago."

"Where?"

He grinned. "Ballet theatre. Near Oxford university."

"Ballet theatre- are you trying to use your grandparents story?"

He shrugged. "So what if I am? Besides, people will love it."

You glared at him, but he continued on with his story. "So we met at the ballet theatre, you fell madly in love with me the first time you saw me. Your exact words were- "Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, have I died and went to heaven to witness the utter beauty of an angel-"

"I have seen rodents looking better than you." You cut him off.

"You're ruining my story." He scolded you. "Fine, we can say that after you were mesmerised by my beauty, you stalked me for a few weeks until I finally said yes out of pity-"

"Silas."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll leave the details to you, just remember- we met at the theatre. Thats the most important part of the story."

"Okay, I'll add my version of the events, which you can read in the papers in a day or two." You stood up, walking over to the vanity. "I will be going to work from tomorrow. I'll tell your grandmother I'm going to visit some friends, and you'll drop me off at my old place where I'll change my clothes and then I'll go to the office."

"Very well." He turned his head to look at you. "But after you're done writing about us, continue working on the White Chapel murders."

You hummed, turning around. "Dont worry, I should be able to get access to the letters in a few days. Wait- Silas, didnt you say your friend owned the paper I worked for?" He nodded. "Well, can you ask him if he could let me, I mean- assign Sherlock Holmes to work on the case? You could bribe him with giving an exclusive interview about your marriage for the papers, in return, he has to let me work the murder story."

"Consider it done." Silas said, putting his arm over his eyes.

"Um, Silas?"

"What?" He asked, annoyed.

"Where am I to sleep?" With Sarah in the house, its not like you can occupy another room. It'll raise suspicion.

Silas removed his arm to look at you, before looking at his large bed.

You shake your head. "I am not sleeping in the same bed with you-"

"I wouldnt want that either." He said, grabbing a pillow. Your heart warmed at the gesture. He really was going to leave his bed for you, like the true gentleman-

Thud.

You looked at the pillow he'd thrown on the floor.

"There." He pointed before returning to bed.

"You want me to sleep on the floor?"

With his eyes closed, he replied. "You say that like you expected me to sleep on the floor."

"Well-"

"Its my room, my bed. Why would I sleep on the floor?"

"I dont know, whats the word- chivalry?!" You huffed, grabbing the pillow and walking near the closed balcony window. It was cold but you'd rather sleep with a pretty view than to wake up to Silas feet landing on your face.

Muttering curses under your breath, you soon fell asleep with your back turned to Silas. A few minutes later, he got off the bed and dropped a blanket on your sleeping body.

And they say chivalry is dead. He thought to himself, returning to his bed.

-

The next day, while dropping you off to work, you brought up the previous day's convo.

"I need something." Silas's gaze flickered from the window of the carriage to you. "What do you know about Henry Blackwood?"

Silas' looked bored again. "He's a fellow businessman, invests in people rather than companies, likes to keep his operations in the dark, which means he has secrets. His shop blew up some time ago, allegedly a "technical failure" but... I think someone did it."

"You think so too?" You asked, hopeful. "Do you know who?"

Silas shook his head. "No. His enemies, like his operations are secret. All I know is someone did it to send a message to him, blew up the shop deliberately while he was out."

A message?

"I want to get dirt on him." You watch Silas raise a brow at you. "Just... get me close to him, or to his people. I saw him talking to your uncles, maybe they know something?"

Silas shakes his head again. "My uncles talk to anyone who has money. Henry wouldnt ever invest in them, they couldnt manage a business for the life of them."

"And you? Would Henry invest in you?"

Silas nodded. "He's tried. I wasnt interested." He cut you off before you could even suggest the idea. "And I'm still not interested. But I'll get you close to him."

"Thank you." You settled back in your seat before remembering another request. "Silas?"

"What now?"

"Can I have some money?"

"Here's a pound-" You glared at him, making him sigh. "How much?"

"Mmhm, oh I dont know... just enough to buy a small house-"

"And why do you need a house?"

You looked at him dumbfounded. "Well, when our marriage goes to the sewers, I would like to have a roof over my head."

"And what if I say I dont intend on ending this marriage?" Your blood ran cold at his words.

"What?"

Silas tilted his head at you before chuckling. "Why have you turned pale? If anyone should be horrified at the prospect of staying married in this mismatch, completely unbalanced relationship, it should be me. Struck down, caught out of the lake in his prime, of both beauty and brain-"

"Oh God, please stop talking before blood starts pouring out of my ears."

"So you agree your voice is irritating enough to do that?" Silas remarked smirking.

"Shut up." You flared your nostrils at him. Why does he have to ruin my mood this early in the day?

He chuckled victoriously, looking out the window. "I'll get you the house. You dont need money for it." He looked at you, already knowing you'd be confused. He grinned, pointing to himself. "Duke of Westminster-" he then points at you. "Duchess of Westminster."

Of course. Now that you're married to the duke, you have a whole lot of land in your hands. You really can have a house anywhere you'd like.

The carriage stopped. "Off you go now, wife."

Entering the office, you were first greeted by Will, the man in charge on working on the White Chapel murders.

"Holmes! How did you do it?" He shook you by the shoulder gleefully. "How did you convince the boss to post my story next?!"

I married his friend. "Oh, I just... promised him an article. Once I give him that, we can work together on the murder story."

He nodded, ushering you to finish off your article first before helping him.

Making your way to your desk, you spotted Colin. "Hey, Colin-" But he walked right past you, as if he didnt hear you.

Maybe he didnt. You shrugged, sitting down at your desk as you began writing down the news about you and Silas.

-

"Oh, Mr Holmes has definitely written most accurately about you Y/n!" Sarah said as she read the papers at the breakfast table. "He calls you the "fairest maiden in town" and "beauty with brains"- oh, I couldnt agree more!"

You smiled, sipping your tea sheepishly while Silas rolled his eyes. Its been 3 days since you wrote an article announcing your marriage to the world, and the editor decided to post it on Sunday, when you and most of London had off from work, all tuning in to read "how the most eligible bachelor bagged the fairest maiden in town."

Sarah ate some of the dishes you'd prepared today. "These are absolutely delicious, Y/n! Silas, your wife-" A maid came in to inform her that there's someone at the door to meet her. As Sarah excused herself, you got up from your seat to serve Silas the food you'd made on Sarah's request.

Silas picked up his fork and took a bite, a smile forming on his lips.

"Have I ever told you how good of a cook you are?"

You blushed, looking down. "No-"

"Then why do you keep cooking?" He dropped his fork on the plate, pushing it aside. "Stop using my kitchen." He smirked as he drank his tea, watching rage take over your face.

"Listen you twat-"

Sarah came back rushing in, a worried look on her face. Silas immediately sat up. "What is it, nana?"

"The- there was someone here from the palace." She gulped. "They sent flowers and a letter congratulating you two on the marriage. They... they said they'd like to meet Y/n and- and welcome the new couple officially."

Silas understood Sarah's worry. The palace never writes to them. In fact, the last time they did, it was years ago when his parents had died.

Getting up from his seat, Silas wiped his face with a napkin before dropping it on the table. "Then we'll let them. We shall host the Queen."

"Si-" But he took her by the shoulders, easing Sarah's worry.

"Dont worry. This is our home, nana." We have the advantage.

Silas left to start making arrangements for hosting the queen at the estate, while Sarah ran around the house with the staff to prepare for the event that is a week from now. Seeing as you couldnt be of use there and everyone was too busy to give you any pointers on what to say or act when the queen arrives, you left the estate to explore the town. Or more specifically, return to the blown up vintage store.

Yep, you're still hoping your time machine survived.

When you arrived on Regent street, you saw the same men still guarding the store, so they probably still wouldn't have let you in. But you also saw Henry, who was leaving the store and in his carriage.

Deciding to follow him, you sneaked into the back of someone's carriage and rode it before jumping off it when it got near Henry's carriage. Fortunately, you didnt have to follow him for long as he got off on Piccadilly street soon and strolled into a place called "The Gentlemen's Club" and from the looks of the daunting bouncers standing outside, you knew you couldnt just stroll in like Henry.

You watched the people who seemed to walk into the club, mostly men, all dressed formally and looked like they were a part of the high society. You saw some women too, though most of them dressed scandalously, so you assume they were there to provide entertainment.

As the sun began setting, more and more people started entering the club and just when you were about to leave, you saw Henry walk out of the club, a frown settled on his face. You werent expecting him to leave the club so soon, not when more people had started going in there, to rave or whatever. If Henry was here for pleasure, then he came out too early. If he was here for business, then most of the club goers have just begun entering, which means that whoever he wanted to conduct business with was already in there. Someone who works at the club... maybe even owns it?

As you turned to leave, you felt someone bump into you.

"Watch where you're going!" The blonde haired woman shrieked at you before crossing the street to go to the club.

You huffed. Everyone's got a giant stick up their-

You whipped your head around, feeling someone watching you. And thats when you spot it- a shadowy figure of a man, standing in the window of the club, on the second floor. Henry? No, he left. Then...?

The shadow didnt move, staring at you until it creeped you enough to make you leave.

-

Silas finally sat down after working all day. Cadbury brought him his evening tea.

"How are the preparations coming along?" He asked his butler. Cadbury informed him of the arrangements he's made and the guest list he's written down that needs his approval before he sends out the invitations.

"And the seamstress will come tomorrow to make a gown for Miss Y/n-"

Silas cut him off. "No need. Send the seamstress to me first. I'll let her know what kind of clothes need to be made for the event, then she can take Y/n's measurements."

"As you wish, sir." Cadbury said, but Silas could see something troubling the young butler. They werent that apart in age, and both of them had practically grown together, each reading the other person well.

"What's the matter, Cadbury?" Silas set his teacup down.

Cadbury took a deep breath. "Its just- I dont understand why the palace is suddenly coming to visit you, after what happened at the dukedom ceremony. It was certainly... humiliating for them, so why would they be coming to welcome Miss Y/n into the family?"

Silas grinned. "They're coming to see who I replaced the princess with." He picked up his cup. "They couldnt break me down, so they're going to try their luck with the missus. There's another reason why the queen is coming, but you let me worry about that."

Cadbury looked concerned. "Then we should prepare Miss Y/n to make no mistakes."

"Dont worry, she wont." Silas smiled, making his butler even more confused. "Speaking of, did you observe her when she was cooking in the kitchen today?"

Cadbury nodded. "Yes. And as you'd said, she didnt touch, let alone cook with bacon or wine despite my insistence that its your favourite. She replaced the meats, and didnt use any alcohol at all!"

Silas chuckled, his eyes gleaming with intent. "Perfect. Just as I'd suspected." He looked at Cadbury again. "Are there any leftovers from the food she'd made?"

"Yes. I was about to throw it out-"

"No. Bring them to me. I'll eat them. If Y/n asks, tell her you fed it to the dogs and then they got violently sick." Cadbury was confused as he left to bring him the food. He thought that Silas didnt like your cooking, at least from what he'd heard him say to you.

Oh. Maybe the young duke just doesnt want to acknowledge that he enjoyed your food.

-

A week passed by quickly and the day of the royal dinner came. You were freaking out because Silas had barely spoken two words to you about how to act or what to say, just telling you to act as yourself and he'll take care of the rest.

"What the hell...?" You muttered, watching your reflection in the mirror. Okay, you're not a conservative, but even you knew that this plunging neckline was a little too much skin for this time period, especially in front of the queen!

You were wearing a white satin and lace gown- wedding gown, if you were being honest. All that was missing was a veil, but you guess that would be a little too much on the nose. The dress was beautiful, no doubt, but it was missing a whole lot of cloth around the neckline, the tight corset making your chest puff out slightly more with a snatched waist. Your collar bones looked prominent, but you would credit that to the bland food served in London. Seriously, why do they act like vampires when it comes to adding garlic?

"Your husband had this dress designed specifically for you, madame!" The seamstress told you as she added her finishing touches. "He must love you a lot!" You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you wore the jewellery he'd sent for you.

Yes. Thats why I sleep on the floor while he sleeps in his bed. Hope he suffocates under those plush sheets. My backache is the sign of our true love.

"Oh, who did that to your hair?" You heard a voice behind you and you turned around quickly.

"Benny!" You squealed, watching Ben, Liam, Shepherd and Colin enter your room. "Ah, I'm so glad you all came."

"Of course we did. There's free booze-" Shepherd smacked Liam on the back of his head. "We're here because we're happy for you."

"And because they wanted to see the queen." Colin said, rolling his eyes, making the other two bicker with him.

"How's Silas treating you? Are you happy?" Ben asked in a low tone as he fixes your hair.

Oh Ben. He reminds you so much of Qasim. "Yes, Benny. Silas is very good to me. I couldnt be happier."

Ben had a sad smile on his face as he nodded.

Just a few minutes later, Silas entered your room. "Y/n. Gentlemen." He nodded to them, before pulling you aside. "I need to talk to you."

You looked at him surprised. Silas was concerned. He was nervous about something. You've never seen him break a sweat.

"What is it, Silas?"

"The queen is onto us."

"What?"

Silas looked at you exasperated. "She knows about our sham marriage." He casted a look to the boys, who were pretending like they werent trying to hear what he was whispering to you. Silas pulled you close by your elbow to whisper. "I have a source telling me that the queen knows you... you're not a Christian. That you're a Muslim."

You pull back to look at him wide eyed. "How- how did she- how did you-?"

"I suspected, you confirmed it now. But she knows. And she's coming here tonight to expose us. If she tells everyone tonight, then she'll be able to take away my dukedom and she will make our lives hell!"

Your throat went dry. "What- what do we do?"

"There's a way." Silas grip on your arm tightened. "We get married for real."

You tilted your head in confusion before shaking your head at what he was implying. "Silas, no-"

"We get a Nikkah."

A Nikkah? If... if you get a Nikkah with him, an Islamic wedding ceremony, then you'll be married to him for real. No- no, the only reason you'd agreed to his proposal was because you knew it was a fake marriage, it didnt really affect your conscious because it was a sham! But-

"No. Silas-"

"Y/n, please." Silas pleaded. "Dont make me beg. If the queen finds out, everything I've worked so hard for, it'll be for naught. She'll take it all away. Dont you- dont you want to help catch the lunatic behind those murders? Dont you want to make a difference by writing? If you dont do this, if you dont stand by me, we'll both be done for!"

You looked at him conflicted, your resolve starting to break as he continued to talk. "My sister, my parents, my grandfather... my family... they need me, Y/n. They need me to pull this off, for me to reinstate our honour, for me to remove the stain and stigma from my family's name. Please, I'm asking you to do this for me... for my family." He swallowed thickly, his eyes boring into you with intensity. "You once told me you lost everything. I'm telling you now that I'll lose everything if we dont do this. Will you let me lose everything, Y/n?"

Lose everything? Everything?

You shake your head. "No, Silas. I... I wont let you lose everything."

10 minutes later, there was an imam in your room. Silas had somehow managed to find an imam in London to marry you two off. But you suppose when you're so rich and well connected, you can find anyone.

This is happening. This is really happening.

With Ben, Colin, Liam and Shepherd as your witnesses and Cadbury and his wife as Silas's witnesses, the imam began the Nikkah ceremony.

Am I really getting married?

You watched the imam ask Silas some questions, and you tuned them out except for one.

"Are you a Muslim?"

You looked up. A flicker of hope! Yes! If Silas isnt a Muslim, he cant marry you! The Nikkah wont happen, or at the very least wont be real because he's not Muslim! He cant marry you, this will still be a sham marriage, a paper marriage and your conscious will be clear and you wont feel like throwing up-

"Yes. I converted an hour ago." Silas informed the imam. "I took my shahada, in sound mind and state, of my own will without any pressure or coercion."

No. Oh no-

"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?"

"I do."

"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" The imam repeated.

"I do."

"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" He asked again.

"I do." And with that, Silas signed the Nikkah contract. The officiant then turned to you.

"With the agreed mahr, do you take Silas to be your husband?"

"Mahr?" You whisper in a daze. The officiant looks confused. "Do you not know what your mahr is?"

Mahr is a gift to the bride given by the groom. It is a symbol of the groom's promise to care and provide for the bride. You're more surprised that Silas even knew what Mahr is.

"It must've slipped my mind to tell you." Silas looked at Cadbury, who handed him a document. "For your Mahr, I give you Westminster palace." You looked at the document, he really had signed it over to you!

"Silas..." You say in disbelief, your hands trembling a bit. He smiled reassuringly at you. "You wanted a house. Here's one."

House? He gave me a palace!

"Do you take Silas to be your husband?" The imam asked you. You stared at Silas, at his content face. He didnt have to sign over a whole palace to you, much less one which he'd just gotten from the queen!

And he looked perfectly content with his decision. Not a shadow of doubt. He... he trusts you? Trusts that you'll maintain this union? Wont run out on him- wont betray him?

"I do."

Does he believe that this marriage will last?

"I do."

Does he trust you?

"I do."

You signed the papers, your eyes still in a daze as Silas smiles charmingly at you before pulling you close to hug you. You hear everyone clap around you as he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"Thank you."

-

Silas escorted you to the dining room where all the guests were waiting. You were still quiet and in a trance as you walked by him, with your hand around his arm.

He's surprised it didnt make you suspicious with how quickly he'd found an imam. Truthfully speaking, Silas knew you were a Muslim when he first proposed to you. He had his doubts, which were confirmed by his observations especially with your aversion to foods that were forbidden for Muslims. And yes, the queen had also found out about you being a Muslim, but only because he spread the rumour to them.

The Nikkah documents, the ceremony, the Mahr, he had already planned it the moment he found out that the queen was coming over. And the reason why he waited until the last minute to spring this out on you was so that you would be pressured into saying yes. He just couldnt risk you taking time to think this through.

You may still be under the impression that Silas chose you because it was circumstantial or whatever, but he chose you to be his wife precisely because you were a Muslim. Oh he has plans to use you.

You're everything the English monarchy hates, what it stands for. You're not prim and proper, despite your best attempts. You work, that too disguised as a man, and you're far too strong willed and determined to prove yourself unlike the British high society women.

He knows the crown wont be happy to have Muslim bride in the family, much less a Muslim duke who just so happily signed off Westminster palace to his wife.

A Cheshire grin graced his lips, which people mistook for glee for being with his blushing bride. He's going to have fun ruffling the queen's feathers. He's going to tilt the palace upside down.

Curtsying to the queen, Silas immediately noticed and took great pleasure in the queen's displeasure at your dress. Yes, he specifically chose a wedding gown that showed too much skin for the conservative monarch.

"Your majesty, this is Y/n, my sweetheart." Silas introduced you so lovingly, you couldnt help but be flustered as you avert your eyes to the ground.

"Its an honour to meet you, your majesty." You manage to say without throwing up.

Victoria casted one unamused look to you. "Very interesting choice for clothing."

Oh shit. Shit. Shit. She hates it. I knew it-

Silas's hand gently grasped yours. "Thank you, your majesty. I chose it for her after being inspired by a painting my love gifted me. Ah, let me show it to you."

You already knew it was the stupid portrait he was talking about, and you wanted to hide away into a corner as you saw the disapproval on the queen's face- God, she doesnt mask any emotion, does she?

The queen turned to Silas. "I have heard a rumour and I would like you to address it now." She said, glancing at you.

Silas nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "Why dont you go and help nana with the guests? I'll be right with you."

Sarah was introducing to the guests, but your head was preoccupied with Silas and the queen. They are definitely talking about me-

"Y/n, this is Mr Blackwood." You stared at the familiar face. "Oh please, Sarah. No need to be formal with me." He smiled charmingly. "Besides, miss Y/n and I have met before."

"Well, thats wonderful! You two talk- I have to find my troublesome grandsons before they embarrass me!" Sarah left you with Henry.

"Congratulations on your wedding." He said with exaggerated joy, though his eyes expressed anything but that. "I'm sure he offered you a lot of money for putting up a show. I just wish you'd told me about it before."

"Excuse me?" You frowned. "I'm not putting up a show."

He raised a brow. "Really? You expect me to believe that a FitzGeorge wants to marry you? Out of the blue?" He throws a look to your gown. "That this wedding dress wasnt him trying to just convince the world that you're his wife?"

Your jaw ticked. "You're right. This dress is Silas's way telling everyone we're married. Because we were married on paper before, but I have an imam, 4 witnesses and a Nikkah document stating that Silas and I are married, both in the eyes of the law and God." You watched Henry's face fall. What use was it lying when he already heard of the rumours. Rolling your eyes, you turned to leave, only for him to reach out and grab your arm.

"Why are you doing this?" Henry asked you, looking for any signs of you lying. He didnt find any. "You know you dont belong with him-"

"Oh? I dont?" You snapped. "Who do I belong with? No, go on. Tell me."

He pulled you close, looking into your eyes. "Me. You belong to me. You know it, you felt it- we have something. We have-" He lowered his voice. "I can give you everything you want. Whatever you'd lost in my shop, I'll find it again. I'll travel the world for it, just- come to me. Leave Silas."

"That is the most pathetic thing I've heard come out of a man's mouth." You yanked your hand out of his grasp, walking away from him. The next time you saw him, he was busy talking with Victoria's heir- Prince Edward VII.

"Sweetheart, there you are!" Silas grabbed you, pulling you along. "I was just telling her majesty about how we met. You remember, love?" He shot you a knowing look.

You nodded, remembering what you two had practised. "Yes. We met at the ballet theatre near Oxford. It was love at first sight-"

"Ballet theatre?" Victoria's voice was sharp. Your heart dropped as you tried to follow up on your lie. See, this is why you two should've discussed this because its hard to lie on the spot!

"She's an amazing ballerina! Ah! I was immediately charmed by her art! She bewitched me!" Silas said cheekily and you wanted to smack him for saying "bewitched" because this is still Victorian era and sure, they dont have witch trials anymore, but why would he risk even the accusation when it is literally the queen's ancestors who had a major part in burning up "witches" in the 1600s!

Look, people back then were dumb and evil, which is a really bad combination.

"Is she now?" Victoria looked at you now, with those piercing eyes. "I would love to attend a show of yours. See what these FitzGeorges fancy so much."

Oh she knows. You can see it, hear it in her monotonous voice that she knows Silas is lying.

And yet this dumbass continues to lie. "Of course! We'll host you for... Christmas eve?"

As Victoria left, you glared at Silas. "Why would you say that?! I'm not a ballerina and you invited her to watch me dance? Do you want to get caught?!"

Silas tutted at you. "You worry too much. Its not that hard, you know. Besides, you have my grandmother to teach you. Ah yes, nana will love it-"

"Silas!" You stopped him. "I cant learn ballet in a month!"

"Not with that attitude-"

"We will get caught. You will be caught, and I will be embarrassed and- and- I wont let anyone make a fool out of me, Silas!" He pulled you into his chest, shushing you.

"I wont let anyone make a fool out of you either, Y/n." He pulled your head back to look at you with those deceptively charming eyes. "You carry my name next to yours now. You're my wife now, and by association, your dignity is my dignity now. I wont let anyone make a mockery of us, Y/n."

You looked up at him and you believed him. How could you not, when lying comes so easily to Silas?

He watched Sarah console you, promising to help you learn. Silas his his smile as he picked up his glass, enjoying his plan falling into place.

Ah, it would be a pity to see your heart break when the entire theatre laughs at you.

Thoughts????

[weasleyreidstyles]

on a night like tonight

wrote this for @thatdammchickennugget's hogmarch challenge using the dialogue prompt!! just a fluffy (debatable) one shot for my favourite slytherin boy🫠🫠🫠

prompt 2: "are you speaking parceltongue or am i really drunk?"

pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!slytherin reader (although its not that important to the one shot, honestly)

warning(s): slightly suggestive (towards the end), alcohol consumption

~∞~ i love writing for mattheo😫 idk how i feel about this one but i enjoyed writing either way lol. and yes i titled this after a niall song (im still not over the fact that i saw him in the flesh like a whole week ago!??!?!) also happy international women's day to all of you sexy, beautiful women xxxx

The Slytherin common room was ripe with activity. The Quidditch team had beaten Gryffindor by an utter landslide (250-110), so it was only appropriate for them to throw a huge party to celebrate. The team were in the middle of the room, surrounded by their most loyal band of lovestruck followers, as they drowned in all sorts of alcoholic beverages.

Spheres of magical light littered the high ceiling, glittering like stars and creating an eerily green glow as they reflected off of the murky waters of the Black Lake. The seating areas had been cleared, and in place was a makeshift dancefloor of sorts, filled to the brim with students dancing, singing and laughing to whatever music was playing on a stereo that Blaise had brought in from his Ravenclaw friends.

You were stood against a wall beside Pansy, who was busy glaring at the girl who had draped herself against Theo's arm as he laughed heartily at something Enzo had said. Your best friend was seething with jealousy, but she was far too stubborn to do anything about her feelings for your Italian friend.

The two of them had been dancing around their feelings for months; it was downright infuriating.

"I don't understand why you won't do something about it, Pans!" You say to her loudly, so that your voice could be heard over the earshattering bass music. "I'm getting sick of the back and forth between the two of you!"

Pansy finally takes her eyes off of the floppy haired brunette, who is now whispering in the ear of the girl, with a suggestive smirk on his face. "I'd say the same for you." She scoffs and you turn to her with furrowed brows.

"Oh don't act dumb." Pansy says with a laugh as she turns towards you fully, the drink in her hand sloshing over the rim of the cup as she does. "I see the way you look at Matt. You're very obvious. Both of you are."

"I don't know what you're talking about." You say reluctantly, taking a lengthy sip of your firewhiskey to avoid her knowing look.

Had your affections for your friend really been so blatant?

And did he really return them?

You turn towards the middle of the room and the liquid in your cup is suddenly drained to empty as you watch Mattheo dance closely behind a pretty Hufflepuff girl.

You and Pansy return to your mutual solitude, letting your friends revel in their win against their greatest rival, while simultaneously becoming more and more drunk, the more you watch as Theo and Mattheo obliviously break your hearts some more.

~∞~

It's much later into the night, and the party has not died down. In fact, it only seems to have gotten busier as more and more people from the other houses joined in on the debauchery.

You are so drunk. Practically stumbling along behind Pansy as she drags you to and from the dance floor to get more drinks. The two of you are dancing on each other, her hips grinding against your's to the beat of the music as you both giggle tipsily. You're unaware of your surroundings and have surely pissed off many other partiers with your drunken moves. But it doesn't bother either of you, content to enjoy each other's company, until there is a presence behind you that has Pansy smirking cheekily at you.

You narrow your eyes at her, vision hazy as you feel hands cradle your waist, almost possessively. Looking up, you come face to face with the underside of Mattheo's sharp jaw as he says something to Pansy that you don't comprehend. Whatever he says has her disappearing into the crowd, leaving you to his mercy.

"Hello, Princess." He mumbles lowly, mouth brushing against the soft shell of your ear, causing a shiver to run down the length of your spine.

"Matty! Hi." You say, voice slightly slurred and you grimace at how drunk you sound. He only smirks before he's gently spinning you to face him.

"Haven't seen you since the start of the match. 'S been ages." He replies, voice raspy from how much he'd shouted and cheered during and after the match.

"It's not been that long." You say with a teasing smile as you take in his appearance. In place of the emerald quidditch robes he'd been sporting that afternoon, he's wearing a dark, black t-shirt which stretches tightly across his torso, emphasising his Beater physique and a pair of dark trousers drapes over strong legs. Your observation is slow and purposeful and the smirk on his face widens even further as you admire him more openly then you ever have before.

He's chuckling to himself and then says something that you can barely hear over the loud music that reverberates through the room. But the cadence of his voice and the way they almost seem to have been hissed out in a way you do not understand, makes you tilt your head to the side as he smiles.

"What did you just say?" You ask him, or rather shout so that he can hear you. He copies you with a tilt of his head as he looks down at you with his captivating onyx eyes.

He repeats it again, his hands tightening against your waist when you stumble slightly as someone jostles you in an attempt to get past, smirking when your face scrunches in confusion.

"Are you speaking parceltongue or am i really drunk?" You ask, your hands coming to rest against his firm chest when you were pushed into him.

"Gods, Princess. How much have you had to drink?" He asks with gleaming eyes. It's the mischief in them that has you opening your mouth in feined outrage.

"You were speaking parceltongue!" You accuse and he lets out a laugh as you lightly whack his chest. "What did you say!?"

"Now why would I tell you that?" He replies, his face leaning closer to your's. You can smell the alcohol on his hot breath, mingling with your own and you can feel every breath he takes as it fans across your face.

"Because I'm your best friend?" You say with a smirk as you unconsciously wrap your arms around his neck, leaning on your tip toes slightly so that you can be at eye level with him. The move has your hips brushing against his. You swear his eyes darken as you do.

"Theo's my best friend." He says in a tone of faux obviousness, mischief laced in his rough voice.

"But I'm your favourite, right? If you admit it, I promise that Teddy will never know. It can be our little secret, Matty." You tease and he's laughing again, before he says something else in that strange, reptilian voice, eyes flicking from you eyes to your lips.

You've always been my favourite, darling.

The ways his eyes sparkle, despite the harshness of the sounds against his tongue have you acting upon instinct as you surge forward and press your lips to his. It's as magical as you've always imagined, despite it being tainted by your twin inebriation. But you'll take what you can get.

Because Mattheo Riddle is finally kissing you and you reckon you could fall into a abyss of happiness as his pillowly lips caress your's with loving grace.

~∞~

The next morning, you wake up in an unfamiliar, yet familiar dorm room and Enzo is smirking at you with glee. A tanned, muscular arm is draped across your middle and you're using the other as a makeshift pillow. Your face warms as you recognise the large, veiny hand that stretches across your stomach.

"Fun night?" Your friend asks with a snicker and you flip him off in response. He leaves the room after he's done teasing you, his loud laughter echoing in the corridor. You move to stand but an arm tightens around the skin of your waist.

"Where do you think you're going, Princess?" Mattheo mumbles, his voice low and raspy from sleep.

"Well good morning, sunshine." You reply, a smile spreading across your face as you turn to face him, to find that he is already staring at you, with adoration in his onyx eyes.

"Am I still dreaming, or are you really in my bed right now?" He asks as you trace a finger lightly over his naked chest.

"Oh it's very real. And I'm sure Enzo has already told the others what he just discovered." You reply with a giddy laugh.

"About bloody time, don't you think?" Mattheo's question is muffled against the skin of your neck as he nuzzles his face there. You smile in response, giggling as pieces of his curly hair brush against your soft skin.

"I'd still like to know what you said last night." You say but he doesn't give you the answer. Instead, he rolls the two of you so that you lie beneath his toned body, strong arms caging you in.

"That's my little secret, Princess." He mumbles as he presses languid kisses down your neck and chest, travelling lower until your rendered a moaning mess beneath him.

[totheblood]

shiver | s.r.

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: spencer would do anything for you, but doesn't understand why you have pulled away from him.

warnings: angst, avoidant!reader

a/n: gonna be so honest i wanted this to be a series but i ended up hating it like 2k words in so that's why the end is so good... if people like it i will do a part two but oh my god its so bad and rushed towards the end... but this one is for my avoidantly attached girlies!! i see u and i love u and i am also sorry.. reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses.. PLEASE SEND SPENCER REQUESTSS!!!

wc: 3.1k

"So I look in your direction But you pay me no attention, do you?."

The hum of the air condition rang through the bullpen as Spencer studied you from his desk. With your hand in your hair, absentmindedly reading files with your body slumped forward, you looked unbelievably and unmistakably tired.

 It was another late night doing paperwork from last week's case, and nearly everyone was running on caffeine and pure luck. Spencer had finished his work an hour, thirty four minutes, and eight seconds ago but he still found himself glued to his chair and taking on JJ’s leftover work. All so he could silently watch over you from his desk. 

He didn't quite understand his fascination with you. It was almost embarrassing how he hung onto your every word you said, willing to do any and everything you wanted him to. But it was more embarrassing that you never paid him that same attention. Well, that wasn't completely true when he first met you, but as the months went on he could feel your attention from him drifting. 

When you first started at the BAU last year you were shy and timid, but Spencer noticed the small chuckles that escaped from your lips at his complex jokes and how your eyes watched him as he spewed some random fact that the rest of the team groaned at. You used to hang onto every word he said, asking him follow up questions with your pupils dilated. 

It was natural how you gravitated towards him. He was the only one on the team remotely close to your age, and like you, he was a bonafide genius. But you always wanted to know more and he always wanted to tell you more. It was innocent and pure, the way he thought about you, until you started to pull away. 

Spencer knew the chemical reaction that occurs in the brain when someone who used to give you attention pulls away. It creates a pattern similar to drug addiction, something he was all too familiar with, and it had started to get all too familiar for him to know how to properly deal with it. It had reached the point where he was counting each glance you gave him, the small way the corners of your mouth quirked up when you spoke to him, and even to the point where he was keeping track of how many words you uttered to him daily. 

He tracked it too. Your conversations with him had been on a steep decline since February, and now in late May he found himself wondering what he had done wrong. He had known the path he was leading himself down was one he shouldn't continue, but he couldn't care. His brain was operating for him, and he was succumbing to his worst fears. 

His brain made any attempts to rationalize your behavior, none of which calmed his anxiety. Maybe he was too clingy, always opting to sit next to you on the jet, or partner up with you in the field. Maybe he had said the wrong thing, something that made you immediately sick of him. Maybe you started seeing someone. The last one bothered Spencer the most, but he couldn't understand why. 

Spencer did everything he could to convince himself he didn't have a crush on you. As juvenile as it sounds was as juvenile as he felt every time his cheeks tinged pink when you spoke to him. He tried to convince himself that he didn't actually ‘like’ you, he just was preoccupied with you. It was your behavior that triggered his attachment style, it wasn't that he liked you. 

And as much as he wanted it to be true, he knew it wasn't. He was infatuated the moment he met you. Spencer knew he could never forget anything, but he knew for sure he would never forget your face. He traced in his mind over and over again, the way your whole face lit up when you ate something sugary, how your eyes blinked up at him when you spoke, and how you would drag your teeth in between your lips whenever you were focused. He'd find himself finding any excuse to be close to you. 

Spencer had once made a vow to himself that he would never pretend to be stupid. Not for anyone, and especially not for a girl. Which is why he almost physically smacked himself when he pretended to not have read a book by Jane Austen just so he could have something to talk to you about. He had read her entire collection when he was eight, yet he still found himself agreeing to read it and tell you how he liked it. He never forgot a word of the book “Emma,” but he still found himself rereading it for you. That was how much power you had over him. A power you seemed to be unaware of. 

6 months ago - November

“So, did you read it?” you questioned, arm pressing into the hardword of his desk, eyes wide and waiting. He didn't notice you at first, which was a first for him, making him jump as he turned to face you. 

“I did,” he answered, lips in a tight smile as he set his pen down, “I still have no idea why everyone seems to love Mr. Knightley. He strikes me as being a bully. I liked Frank Churchill far more.”

“Please,” you scoff rolling your eyes, “Churchill, seriously? All he had were his good looks. He was a total ass!” Your use of ‘ass’ earned a genuine smile from Spencer, whos eyes lit up as he spoke. 

“He wasn’t the most sincere,” he starts, shaking his head, “but he still had a far better personality than Knightley. I’d sooner date Frank Churchill over Mr Knightley. At least Frank had a sense of humor.”

“That's true, I guess,” you agreed looking down at his pristine desk. All he had on it were closed case files and a framed photograph of him and the team on it. You weren't in it but you studied it quickly, noticing how Spencer stared a brunette in the picture. Whoever it was, he was looking at her like she held the world in her hands. You would be lying if you said it didn't sting. As if he could sense you deflate he sat up straighter, following your vision to the picture on his desk. 

“We have to take a new one-” he rushed out quickly, causing your eyes to snap back to him, “You know, one with you… in it,” He pursed his lips nodding as he spoke again, almost as if he couldn’t stop himself, “You know cause now you're part of the team and this picture is old anyways. From when I first started here and as you can tell, I look completely different and it's time I updated it.”

“Who’s she?” you asked, finger pointing directly to Elle’s face. As you spoke you watched for any clues that would give you insight on how he felt about her. 

“Oh, Elle,” the way he said it made him sound defeated, like he forgot that she was in the picture, even though you knew that wasn't the case, “she used to work here, but, uh, she left.”

“You guys were close?” you questioned him, eyebrows raised as you watched him glance over at the picture before leaning back in his chair and putting all his focus on you. 

“Yeah,” he sighed, “we were, but…” his voice trailed off, as looked down at his feet, “we're not in contact anymore. She hasn't really spoken to any of us since she left,” 

“Oh,” you sighed out. You wanted to be upset that it was obvious he was enamored with her, but you just felt bad. The way his whole demeanor changed as he spoke made you feel more upset than anything, “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,” his eyes darted back up to you as his tight-lipped smile reappeared. He glanced back at his desk, before turning his body away from you, “I, uh, have some work I should get back to, though,”

“Yeah,” you smiled, standing up straight as you prepared yourself to turn around. You wanted to say something, anything, but you didn't. You just turned around and went back to your desk, something stinging brewing in your chest. 

Present Day

Spencer thought back to that day, wondering if his change in disposition is what made you change. It rang through his head as he tapped his foot, eyes trained on you. He was lost in thought when your eyes snapped up towards him, making him flinch. You offered him a small smile but it hadn't reached your eyes before looking back down at your work. 

The interaction made him decide that it was time to go home. That him sitting and staring was doing nothing for him or you. Standing up, he slung his messenger bag across his body, goodbyes prepared on the tip of his tongue. As he was about to speak Hotch exited his office, eyes meeting sympathetically with Spencer’s as he entered the bullpen. 

“We have a case,” Hotch announced, “I need everyone in the conference room in ten.” 

As the team flooded into the conference room, Spencer hung back, watching as you collected your things and trailed behind the rest of the team with a stack of files in your arms. 

“Need help with th-” Spencer began, arms outstretched towards you.

“No,” you replied abruptly, “I’m fine.”

It came out colder than you would have liked, causing Spencer to shiver, purse his lips and head into the conference room with his head hung low. 

“Our first victim was 35-year-old Leonardo Ruiz,” Garcia started, remote in hand clicking to display the picture of the mutilated man with his hands bound by rope and publicly displayed hanging from trees. Almost instinctively you flinch. You know it's the job but it never gets easy seeing the images. The man's face was distorted, slashed repeatedly with a knife until he became unrecognizable.

“He was reported missing after failing to report to his shift,” another click of the camera to show the abandoned patrol car, with the door open, it was obvious there had been a struggle, “His patrol car was found 2 miles from where his body was found in Arlington, where there appeared to be a struggle. Ruiz was missing for approximately two days before his body was discovered.”

“There was no dash cam footage from the patrol car?” Rossi asks from his chair, leaning forward as Garcia clicks the remote again.

“Exactly what I thought, but here's the creepy bit: There is no sign of another person on the dashcam footage. He doesn't even mention seeing another person, you can't hear the struggle, in fact there is no audio on the footage at all. Because three days before Ruiz went missing, his dashcam footage lost all audio. He reported it to the department and they were going to look into it but they were unable to fix it before Ruiz was taken,” Garcia answers, sending a chill down your spine. 

“So this was premeditated,” you speak up, causing everyone to look at you, including Spencer. You were still finding your footing in the group, trying to be useful to the group without saying the wrong thing, “The unsub is patient, willingly waiting for a perfect moment to strike. Could be revenge,”

“You're on the right track, pumpkin,” Garcia starts clicking another picture onto the screen, “That leads us to our next victim, Detective Luther Hodges from a different precinct was abducted from his home, reported missing for two days before he was found in the same way as our last victim in a public park,” Garcia herself winces as she looks at the pictures of the body strung up to a children's playground, “However this time our unsub left a witness, Hodge’s seven year old daughter, Lucy,” 

“If he left her as a witness, it could mean that he used her as a way to get him to leave willingly,” Spencer started, eyes squinting as he viewed the screen, “or he’s simply… devolving,”

“You’re absolutely right, boy genius,” Garcia starts, clicking the remote again to reveal a final body, causing the group to gasp. On the screen was Federal Agent Angela Barnett in the same position as the others. “One of our own, Angela Barnett was taken from a grocery store she frequented, and only kept one day before she was found in this state.”

“He’s devolving and rapidly,” Hotch says, closing his file and standing up, “Garcia contact MPD and let them know we're coming,” he commands, causing Garcia to nod a quick “yes, sir,” before rushing out the office, “I want to be out of here in ten,” he instructs the group, resulting in nods as everyone stands and begins collecting their things. 

“Hey,” Spencer calls from beside you gently, his voice close to being a whisper, “do you want to ride with me? I just got this new audiobook on the evolving traditions of the Amish and Mennonites on the East Coast,” he offers you a small smile that you can't help but mirror. 

“Oh, uh,” you look down, you know you’ve been pulling away but you can't help it, “Yeah, that sounds… interesting,”

Spencer can't help the grin that spreads across his face as he nods gently, cheeks tinged pink as he picks up his bag from the floor, “Great, I’ll see you then.”

The car ride was awkward to say the least, Spencer glancing over at you every five seconds as you started out the window, watching the passing trees. You drowned out the audiobook, too focused on wanting the car ride to be over that you didn't notice when Spencer had cut it off. 

“Is everything okay?” He spoke up, fingers tapping at the steering wheel as he kept his vision focused on the road. 

“Yeah,” you sat up, looking over at him and scratching the back of your neck, “I’m fine,”

“Are you sure?” he asked again, “You’ve just been… different with me. If I did anything, I’m sor-”

“You didn't do anything,” you cut him off, “I didn't realize I had been acting different,” you lied quickly, earning a scoff from him, “What?”

“The amount of conversations we have daily has been on the decline since February, decreasing by 4 percent daily in the last two weeks,” Spencer let slip casually, his own tone colder than intended, “Hard thing to not realize, especially for someone like you,”

“Someone like me?” You questioned, arms crossing defensively across your chest. 

“Someone smart,” Spencer looked over at you, “And I’m not stupid either, by the way. I would appreciate it if you just told me you didn't want to be friends outside of work instead of avoiding me like I’m the plague.”

You were silent for a beat, looking down at your hands, fingers intertwined with each other. You never understood why you got this way, why romantic feelings caused you to turn in on yourself. All you wanted to do was run, jump out of the car, scream, so you did the next best thing, “I’d prefer if we kept our relationship strictly professional,” your voice came out quieter than you would have liked. 

Spencer felt his stomach drop as his breath caught in his throat. He ignored the stinging in his eyes as he cleared his throat, swallowing harshly before replying, “Okay.”

The rest of the ride was uneventful, Spencer turned back on the audiobook and you allowed the blood to rush to your ears, drowning out the rest of the noise. The night was much busier than anticipated, all law enforcement officers on edge with the rise of a serial killer that put targets on their back. 

You spent a majority of the case avoiding Spencer, opting to partner with Derek on interviewing witnesses while JJ and Spencer built a geographical profile. When it was time to deliver the profile, you stayed back, only offering minimal input. 

Then, you found him: Jacob Raines. Jacob Raines had been a former police officer who was let go due to his use of excessive force and brutality. His rage and anger in turn got geared towards law enforcement, blaming them for his pitfalls. 

Garcia found an abandoned warehouse registered in his name in the outskirts of the city, where he was most likely keeping his victims before murdering him. The team dispatched to the warehouse, with you, Spencer and Morgan, entering first. 

You wouldn't have entered without backup if it wasn't for the sounds of screams coming from inside, and Spencer rushing in first. As if on instinct you followed after him, gun raised as you cleared behind him towards the screams. In the middle of the warehouse was a police officer still in uniform, tied to a chair with a tear stained face. She was crying as she plead for Spencer to untie her. As he worked to undo the knots you heard footsteps, causing you and Spencer to stand up abruptly. In front of Spencer was a 6 foot man, weapon raised and aimed right at him with his finger on the trigger. Based on the profile, you knew he would shoot and you knew he wouldn't think twice. He planned this, he knew the BAU would come for him and he wanted to take out as many people as he could. 

As if on instinct you pushed Spencer out of the way, a bullet aimed for his kelvar vest had made impact with your shoulder, piercing through it as you hit the cold concrete. Spencer was stunned but got up in enough time to take three shots at the unsub who had his weapon aimed and ready to shoot again. The unsub fell with a loud thud, but Spencer turned back to lean down next to your body that was growing increasingly colder. A puddle of blood had began to form underneath you and while it was clear it didn't hit any major organs, you were still bleeding out rapidly. 

Through the ringing in your ears you could here Spencer’s pained and rush voice signal over the radio, “Officer down, need medical, gunshot wound to the shoulder.”

His voice and hands were shaking as he applied pressure to the wound with his palm, as he urged you, “keep your eyes open,” he pleaded with you, “just stay awake until they get here,” he begged. But you were so tired, and your eyes were getting heavier, so you let them close. 

And everything went black. 

[a-b-riddle]

A Simple (Mis) Understanding Chapter Two: Numbness & Pain

Daisy

I always used to think it was an exaggeration of how pregnancy is a constant state of exhaustion. But it was a lot of work growing a tiny human. Add in the fact that I'm still working 40 + hours a week and, of course, something is always causing some sort of discomfort or pain.

Swollen feet, back pain, nausea; I can't even find any solace in sleep. The 32 week mark felt so close, yet still so far. Another eight or so weeks of this seems like a drop in the bucket compared to how far along I am, but still. That still another two months. So far away when you want to be done, but still too short compared to everything I still have yet to do.

Another two months to set up a crib and wash her new clothes. Another two months to figure out a name and make decisions that I always envisioned making with a partner. Another two months of struggling to do things like picking up shit off the floor or staying on my feet long enough to make a decent meal.

But right now, I wasn't worried about the two months ahead of me and all the things I still have to do. Right now, I was looking forward to a three day undisturbed weekend. The pain in my feet and sciatica was becoming so bad, I had taken Friday off to see a doctor and spend the rest of the weekend doing nothing, but sitting in my modest little house and watching mind rotting television. I might even indulge in some spicy reading. Heaven knows its been too long.

Or at least, it hasn't been since them. That day in the office, but... that really didn't count. I often wrestled with myself about it. That one time erased any feelings I had for any of them. But I felt a bit pathetic how it now tainted every good memory I had with them. Kyle bringing me something to snack on when he realized I hadn't gone to the mess hall. Price always having a cup of earl grey tea cooling for me first thing in the morning. Two packs of zero calorie sweetner and a bit of honey.

Sweet like you.

I couldn't stand the smell of it now. I blamed it on the hormones. A lot of things made me queasy, but something about the smell of the bergamot, made me sick in a completely different way. A feeling not of nausea, but of... fear. Like the same way a pentagram could summon demons, earl grey could summon mine. As if John Price was somehow there any time the scent lingered in the air.

But he wasn't. None of them were. Fuck. Why did my thoughts always go back to them at some point? No. This was going to be a relaxing weekend god dammit. Fuck them.

Almost angrily, I hit the garage key fob, shutting the door and engulfing me into darkness; a thin line of light leaking through the bottom of the garage door. When I had opened my door, I could at least see a path to my mudroom. I grabbed my purse, ready to go in, when I felt it.

Hundreds of needles. Stabbing and digging into my feet. Not just the soles, but the entire fucking foot the moment I bared any weight on them. I pulled off my flats and it was then I noticed how angry they looked. Red and swollen and all but screaming at me to sit my fat ass back down. I wiggled my toes, trying to get some blood flow. Fuck. Why didn't they hurt while I was driving?

I manage to get onto my feet, using the car door as support. Steading myself until I was ready to take the first step. By the time I had managed to all but crawl inside, ten minutes had passed since my initial arrival time. I got off at 5:00, but usually didn't log off until almost 6:00. Granted, I work from home, but I had run out of a few essentials. Essentials now that were in the boot of my car.

Fuck.

10 minutes won't hurt. Not like there is any thing frozen. Speaking of which, I forgot my ice cream... dammit. I really need to start keeping a list on the fridge. It's hard to remember when pregnancy brain (or stomach) takes over and I slam a container in a single sitting.

Grabbing a pillow from the couch, I went to the kitchen. Which considering the town house, or terraced housing I suppose now, was perfect for a single and expecting Omega it was cozy. Not like the base where going from the common area to the chow hall was about a three minute stroll.

I get down and lay on my back. Carefully maneuvering so my ass rests against the cabinets before I hook the back of my heels unto the counter top so I could rest my feet a bit. Not the most sanitary, but it wasn't like I had guests. It was just me. For now.

It took a few moments to adjust. My back ached against the hardwood, but I could already feel the relief from my feet and legs. It wasn't all that shocking that I was having a hard time with them. I had gained a considerable amount of weight during my pregnancy. When I had brought it up to the OBGYN about possibly cutting back on food, her suggestion was to simply not weigh myself at home. Now when I went in for a visit they made me turn around before taking my weight.

It was hard. I've always had a problem with how I looked and now adding pregnancy then taking away the option to diet and exercise didn't exactly help.

I pulled out my phone and was preparing to open my kindle app when I saw a tiny red bar in the top right corner of my phone. Of course. I get nice and settled and my phone is on 2 fucking percent. Whatever. I tell Alexa to set an a timer for fifteen minutes and take a little nap. Maybe meditate.

A knock on the door quickly brings any possibility of relaxation to a pause. Margaret next door was dropping off Winnie off early to go to her book club. Margaret was a widow and a recent empty nester. She had spent her life as a mother and a homemaker. When I got custody of Winnie two months ago, she had quickly stepped up in helping me with everything from child rearing to managing my pregnancy.

"Hello, Maggie!" I greeted from the floor. "Hello, Winnie Darling." Winnie had the same sand colored hair as me and bright green eyes. Her face was a shade of red and I could smell her from the entryway. Someone would need a bath today. Fantastic.

"Oh, Dear!" Maggie fussed, setting Winnie down on her feet before coming over to me. "Are you alright?" Winnie didn't bother stopping to hug me like she normally would before making a beeline toward the potty. She usually was a creature of habit, but nature calls I suppose.

"Feet are a bit swollen." I waved off. "Just resting them a bit."

"I don't have to go tonight." She set her bag down. A deep green corduroy shoulder bag that always had just what you needed in it. A wet wipe, hand sanitizer, a spare tissue and even a stain pen when a spill happened at the most inconvenient time. "I'll stay and-"

"Maggie." I said, trying my best to sound at firm, but it was hard with her. No one told Maggie 'no'. "It's alright. Just a bit of water retention. Nothing to fret over." And it wasn't. I could already feel the pain from earlier subside.

"Really, it's no bother." She argued, bending over to unstrap one of her shoes. "It's a bloody stupid book anyway. I just go for the gossip really."

"Maggie." I tried again. "Really."  "It's getting close to the due date and I don't want to burn out on me just yet." It was a lie. Even with her greying hair, a deepened laugh line, Maggie didn't burn out. She was one of the few Omegas I had met in my life and she could run circles around any of them, myself included.

The sound of flushing sounded from the bathroom followed by the faucet. She huffed before slipping her shoe back on. "If you insist."

"I do." I encouraged. As much as I loved having Maggie's help, I hated feeling like a burden. She had raised her children. It was time for her to do things for herself. "Besides, we'll see you tomorrow after my appointment tomorrow." The bathroom door clicked open, revealing my little Win with the front of her smock covered in water. Fantastic.

"Hi, Mommy." Winnie finally greeted. Her freshly washed hands dripping water droplets onto the hardwood. "What are you doing?"

"My feet hurt so I'm just letting them rest." I explained, looking up at her. Winnie was rambunctious as most four-year-olds without a sense of self preservation are, but when I explained to her how careful she had to be now that I had her sister in my belly, her nature had become more gentle.

It worried me as much as it warmed my heart. 

"Why don't you sit on the couch?" She asked. Her head tilting to the side, face etched as if she were trying to figure out my reasoning.

"Because it helps when you lift your feet up high in the sky, Winnie Pooh." Maggie explained before looking back at me. "Well if you're sure-"

"I am. Go." I urged. "We'll see you tomorrow. Lunch around noon?" Spending time with Maggie didn't make me feel like such a parasite when I knew she enjoyed the company. Her children had all moved away, only one staying in the UK. She wasn't so alone, but neither was I.

"Wouldn't miss it." She gave a soft smile. The laugh lines around her face deepening. "See you tomorrow, Dearies." She said, retreating back outside. The soft sound of the door clicking behind her.

Winnie had laid down beside me. Yep. Definitely going to need a bath tonight. "How was school today?" Winnie went to a pre-school that was luckily covered under my insurance. Perks of being an Omega. I'll take it where and when I can.

She talked about going to the playground and painting. All the usual bits. Who she played with and new things she learned. Then came the question. A question she had asked before in passing. A subject I changed with ease before. 'Have you brushed your teeth? How about another episode of Bluey? Put on your trainers (because we can't just say tennis shoes anymore) and we'll go for a walk to the park. I had skirted around the question with ease. 

"Why don't you have a mate if you have a baby?" Winnie was too young to get the answers to a lot of life's difficult questions. Why did Tiffany not like us? Why didn't she get to see her daddy anymore? Why did that man look at you weird on the train, mommy?  I wish she would just stay this little. That she never needed or want to know the harsh truths about me, us.

"I..." I wracked my brain for an answer and just came up short. I couldn't think of a way to sugarcoat it. We almost had a mate. Mates. We almost had a pack that would have walked you to school on the mornings my feet were too sore or I was already running late. They would have loved you. "It... it's complicated, Darling." Is what I chose instead. The other worrisome fact is that Winnie was too young to understand the concept about mates. I had never broached the subject which only means she probably heard it from some little shithead at school. 

Wonderful.

"I'll explain it when you're older." I promise, closing my eyes and letting her snuggle into the crook of my arm. "Do you wanna rest your eyes with me?"

"Like when I'm five?" She asks putting one of her hands underneath my shirt onto my belly. It had become a thing she had started since I told her about the baby.

"Maybe six." I said, looking down at her. She gave a yawn before closing her eyes.

"I think five is better."

"Okay, Win." I said. "When you're five we'll talk about it." It was a promise I hoped she would forget. But I didn't want to negotiate with a four-year-old about something future me could deal with. I wanted just 15 minutes of this. I order Alexa to set a timer to make sure we haven't dozed too far off. Winnie still needed to shower and eat. I still needed to get the groceries out of the car. But I could spare another 15 minutes.

[cenittxnadir]

Lunch Box SingleDad!Miguel O´Hara x Reader

I think i'm going to make a small serie of SingleDad Miguel. Its going to have small fics, drabbles and headcanons. This is the second one I make, but is not a sequel so can read it any order you want.

You have been dating Miguel for awhile now and everything was perfect. Gaby and you got along quite fast, a little too fast. But she loves you and you love her.

Her favorite thing is the weekend, that means that you would stay at their house, so she has you and her dad for two whole days. She knows that Miguel has a time consuming job yours was a little more flexible but still.

Miguel loved how things were going, he was really happy but he couldn't help to feel a little bit jealous about the little bond you made with her daughter. Don't get him wrong, he loves you both, of course his type of love is different from one to another. He loves how you care for Gabriela and how she loves to spend time with you, but sometimes he feels that he's left outside. He just couldn't help it, he wants to have that communication that you have with her daughter, she tells you things that probably she would never tell him about, on the other side, he wants to have your full undivided attention only for him. There are days when he doesn't want to share his daughter and others when he doesn't want to share you.

You knew about it, he gets all grumpy when he hears you talking low in Gaby's room when you have your "girls night". He has tried to walk "by accident" in the middle of your chat only to get a "it's nothing" in response and then a few giggles when he leaves the room. Gaby and you use this to bother him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had just past one of those weekends, and now it was monday, your day off, so you didn´t left.

Miguel heard his alarm sound, he turn it off with a groan and turn his boby to reach you, but he felt your bed space empty he got up quickly from his place looking for you, you were nowhere in the bedroom, all lights where out except for the little light that came out under the door meaning someone was on the kitchen or living room.

Against his will he got up, he felt cold without your presence. He rubbed his sleepines off his face with his hands. He didn´t want to get up yet, he would dragg you back to bed and sleep late until he had to "call sick" so he can spend more time with you.

When he arrived to the kitchen he saw you there, looking for something in the freezer, you were still in pijamas wich was pretty much some shorts and a shirt courtesy of Miguel's closet. He can hear the sizzle of the pans on the stove and the smell of whatever you were cooking.

"What are you doing up? It´s 6:15 am" His voice was low and groggy.

You gave a little jump, you didn´t expected to see him awake you turn to see him with a hand in her chest. "Dios mío Miguel, give me a warning." He just kept looking at her waiting for an answer. "Oh, I´m making a lunch box for Gabriela"

"Why? She eats at school" He look at you more confused

"Oh, well hehe, she told me that last week there was an insect on her smash potatoes"

"Why I didn´t knew about this?" An insect on his daugther´s food!? That was unacceptable, he would definitely change her from school.

"Because she didn´t want to worry you, besides i´m more than happy to cook for her, its not the first time I make her a lunch box, I usually made them in my apartment and bring them to her school in my luch hour" You star packing everything in her lunch box - funny thing: it was from Spiderman-

His eyes never left you, he followed every movement you made until his stomach rumbled in the middle of the silences. You looked at him. "I´m going to start breakfast. Go get ready."

He gave one last look to the lunch box then he turn to you standing in the middle just like a small kid. "Hmmm... Love? Can i get..." he lower his voice.

You turn to see him "You can get what?"

"I said if I could get..." Again. He wisper

"Mi amor habla más fuerte, no te entiendo. ¿Qué necesitas?"

"Que si puedo tener una yo también" He exchange looks between the lunch box and you.

"A lunch box? You want me to make one for you?"

"Yes please"

You couldn't keep yourself from smiling "Claro que si mi amorcito, I can make you one" You grab his face "Go get ready for work"

Minutes later everyone had finished eating Gabi clean the table while Miguel was getting his stuff in the trunk once he was done he told Gabriela to get in the car and wait for him.

He ran back to the kitchen to grab his lunch box in the counter.

"Wait Miguel, you forgot your dessert" You handle him a small box similar to the bigger one which contains the main food only that this one was cold. "Keep it cold until dessert time my love, its a surprise"

"Gracias"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He can´t concentrate in work, he was constantly looking to the small freezer that he kept in his office, far from Hobie - he tend to stole his food- checking allmost every minute his watch hoping time moves faster so lunch time could arrive and finaly eat whatever you made him.

Finally lunch time arrived and he enjoy every single bite of his food, he felt like a kid again, eating home food in peace. Once hi finished his food he began to clean everything until he found the small box, he was full but he didn´t care it was his dessert, made by his lovly girlfirend, of course he´s going to eat it.

He opened the box, it took him a while to process what was happening, he grabbed what was inside lifting it up to get a better look. It was a strawberry, a blue one, with something red on it. Once he took a better look he almost let a squeal scape his lips, they were straberries covered in blue chocolate with some marks made with red chocoalte pretending to be his Spiderman mask.

He was definitely going to hide them from Hobie.

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: the first week of Cellbit's life after being turned into a vampire by the man he's been dating for three weeks

For @smallchaoscryptid's Spiderbit Week Day One- Vampires

-

Day Zero - Saturday

"Just stay still!"

"I am still!"

"Nooo, you're fucking wiggling."

"I'm trying to get comfy. If I'm going to die, I want to be comfortable."

"My lap isn't comfortable? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Your knees are bony."

"I'll show you bony- stay still, motherfucker!"

"Guapito- oh, shit-"

Cellbit sucks in one final, shuddery breath and goes limp, his fingers twitching- searching for Roier's.

But Roier's hand only finds his after he's dead.

Day One - Sunday

His eyes are open, but all he can see is the scent of blood in the air. He can't move, but his limbs beg to be put to use. He's so hungry.

Something settles in his hair, something cold and soft and almost comforting through the pain wracking his entire body.

"Shh, gatinho," it whispers. "I'm back."

He leans into the touch with a whine, eyes slipping shut and exposing him to The End again. It's horrible, but at least. At least it isn't nothing.

There's nothing. The End is something. The End rejected him. He is alive, and he is hungry.

Fingers card through his hair, gently massage his scalp. But it isn't his head that's hurting, it's his everything. His mouth. His teeth. His teeth-

Air brushes past his mouth. Prey.

Instinctively, he snaps at it, growling as his teeth dig into the prey.

"Puta madre-" the prey swears, but, no that isn't the prey. That's...

He whimpers as the not prey tears its hand out of his mouth.

"You're lucky you're cute," the not prey tells him. "Hold on, let me get you some actual dinner."

And then the not prey leaves. Again.

And he is alone with the nothing. Again.

Day Two - Monday

The room is too cold but the blankets are itchy and the pillow is too warm and the overhead fan is turned on and he's so cold, why is he so cold?

Shivering, he pulls his blanket over his head. But it itches, so he pulls it back off, but he's so cold-

"Hey, no, come here," the not prey says.

He snarls as he's gently pulled to the not prey's chest, but his anger dies down the second he recognizes the not prey's scent: guapito.

His guapito.

He burrows back until he can't tell where guapito ends and he begins. Then, and only then, does he start to feel warmth again.

The End was warm, so warm. But it turned him away, and now he's cold- but that's good, right? He doesn't know why it's good that The End rejected him and sent him back to the nothing, his head hurts, his teeth hurt. But. But maybe it has something to do with his guapito.

A kiss is pressed to the back of his neck. "There we go. Sleepy gatinho, eh?"

He hums in acknowledgment. But he doesn't talk, he doesn't know how. He doesn't think he's supposed to. He's too hungry to even though he'd just eaten moments or hours or centuries ago.

"Tomorrow will be better," guapito tells him, and he believes it.

Day Three - Tuesday

He keeps biting the inside of his mouth when he tries remembering how to speak to guapito. And, frankly, he's starting to get sick of it.

He pouts, but guapito just smiles and coos and leans in close and brushes its nose against his.

"You'll get used to it," guapito says. "They'll be done growing in by tomorrow."

Tomorrow is forever away, though. When The End had sent him back, it had told him that he would wake up 'tomorrow', but he was there for what felt like thousands of years. He only found his way back to the nothing when he'd heard someone talking to him.

Who...?

Wordlessly, though not wordless by choice, he bites guapito's nose. He doesn't bite hard, and he doesn't bite with his fangs, but guapito still screams and tumbles off the bed dramatically.

He smiles, fangs and all, but guapito just grumbles and reaches up and pinches his cheek hard.

And then guapito smiles, fangs and all.

It's beautiful.

He tries to say as much, but he ends up biting his tongue. Again.

Damnit.

Day Four - Wednesday

He can't stop crying, why can't he stop crying? He isn't in pain, but it all hurts so badly, but he doesn't know why, and-

"Gatinho, hey, it's fine," guapito softly says- it sounds sad, and now he feels worse because he made guapito sad and he's just a failure of a... of a... of a...

He can't remember? Why can't he remember? All he remembers is The End and then the nothing that came afterwards, the nothing he's been living in since. He blinked, and he was out of The End, and he was in somebody's arms, but who? Guapito, right? But why? How do they know each other?

He chokes on his own tears as he comes to a terrifying realization. He doesn't know who he is. He's been awake for days, but he doesn't know his own name- oh, God.

Guapito holds him closer, rocking them gently back and forth on the floor, because he had crawled off of the bed in his own misery hours ago and hasn't been able to muster the will to get up since.

The End took something from him before kicking him out. Did The End take him?

Guapito shushes him gently, far more tender than it's been since he's known him. But he doesn't know him, so how does he know that?

"You'll think this is funny later," guapito assures him. "I did. You're just emo today, it's fine. New instincts and shit, they'll figure themselves out, and then we can go back to bed. Okay?"

He buries his face in guapito's shoulder. What he would give to be in bed again...

Day Five - Thursday

There are flashes in his mind of things he can't quite remember. A garden filled with blue flowers, a swimming pool. A little boy in overalls locking him in a closet with...

Guapito trudges into the room with a fresh pitcher of blood for them to share, because he's still hungry.

"I'm making you go hunting when you're out of bed," guapito huffs.

He places the pitcher down on the bedside table and wipes the non-existent sweat off of his forehead with his headband.

He is stunning.

"Okay," he croaks out, wincing as his fangs clip his tongue. But it's worth it for the brilliant smile guapito sends him and the forehead kiss he gets.

"You are so sexy when your voice is all fucked," guapito growls, playful and not at all threatening.

He bites back a frown. "No."

"Yes. And you had better get used to being called sexy because you-" Guapito pokes him between the eyes with one finger. "-are stuck with me for forever. No take-backs."

He doesn't want a take-back. He's been thinking through the hunger pangs, and he thinks that he went to The End because of guapito. Not because guapito sent him there, but because guapito was the one to pull him home.

This is home, right? A dimly-lit bedroom with wooden walls and well-worn floors, scratchy blankets and soft pillows, soft voices downstairs. Guapito.

It doesn't ring any bells, but he thinks that, if it wasn't his home before The End, it could be his home now that he's left it.

A small smile on his face, he reaches up and cups guapito's cheeks.

"Okay," he repeats, just because he thinks guapito needs to hear it.

And guapito smiles, and it's all just... okay.

Day Six - Friday

He has a name, he thinks. Cellbit. It's what guapito calls him when he thinks he's asleep. When Cellbit is asleep.

It sounds familiar. So does the mention of a child- Richarlyson- and the mention of a woman- Jaiden- and the mention of another child- Bobby.

But what's guapito's name? He has to have one, right? One as beautiful as he is.

"You look almost normal today," guapito comments.

Cellbit doesn't feel normal. He feels hungry, but he's less hungry than he's been for the past several days. He feels cold, but he doesn't mind the cold as much as he used to. He feels confused, but he's remembering more every day. So he might be back to normal soon.

(Whatever normal is for him, anyway.)

The End had taken normal from him. He remembers it being freezing. He stayed huddled before its mighty presence shivering and begging to be heard. He wasn't dead, he wasn't. He couldn't be dead, he was talking. He couldn't be dead, he had... someone to get back to.

And then he'd heard the voice, and The End had released him.

Cellbit leans his head onto guapito's shoulder and closes his eyes.

"Te amo," he whispers. He may not remember who guapito is to him, but he knows this to be true.

Guapito stiffens beneath him, but he quickly relaxes again and slings an arm over Cellbit's shoulders.

He presses a soft kiss to Cellbit's temple and whispers, "Me, too."

Guapito had mentioned something about spending eternity with him, and that sounds just fine to Cellbit. He doesn't think he'd rather have it any other way.

Day Seven - Saturday

Cellbit wakes up not hungry for the first time since escaping from The End. He stares up at the ceiling, and his mind is filled with one word and one word only:

"Roier?" he whispers.

Next to him, guapito- Roier!- stirs. He yawns and rolls onto his side so that he's facing Cellbit. His face is red and marked with the imprints of his pillow, and his eyes are squinted shut and wet with interrupted sleep, and drool is dried to the corner of his mouth, but Cellbit is still caught breathless because he's so perfect.

"Gatinho?" Roier yawns. "What's wrong?"

He squirms until his head is using Cellbit's chest as a pillow. He wraps both of his arms around Cellbit's one like it's a stuffed animal.

His eyes slip shut again, but he doesn't fall back asleep. He's too busy tapping his fingers against the inside of Cellbit's elbow.

"I think I died," Cellbit says. His voice is quiet, contemplative. Almost reverent, because he stared The End in the face, and he was let go. Why?

"You did," Roier responds.

"But I'm here."

"You are."

"Why?"

Roier mutters something about "fledgling amnesia". Cellbit only halfway understands, but he doesn't question it. He doesn't think he wants to.

"Because I'm a vampire," Roier eventually says. "And you wanted to be one, too."

Cellbit blinks. "Huh."

"Yeah, 'huh'." Roier lightly pinches Cellbit's arm. "Go back to sleep. We need to go hunting tomorrow."

Hunting... Cellbit likes the sound of that.

But, first:

"We should get married."

This wakes Roier up fully. He sits up, lets go of Cellbit, stares at him with wide eyes.

Cellbit sits up, too. He takes Roier's hand in his, turns it over. Thinks about how good he'd look with a ring on his finger.

"I might not remember everything about you," Cellbit tells him, "but you've been with me all week even when I was..." ("...completely feral and out of control...") "...emo. And I liked you enough before to die to be with you. So... marriage only makes sense, right?"

Roier's mouth flaps like a fish's for a good couple of tense minutes before he cracks a grin and tries covering it up with furrowed eyebrows and a faked frown.

"Try again with a ring," Roier snaps with happy tears in his eyes.

He flops back down and pulls the blanket over his head.

Cellbit stares at him for just a moment before smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

Wordlessly, he snuggles back down into bed. He slips beneath the covers with Roier, pulling him to his chest and spooning him from behind. He hides his smile in the back of Roier's neck and giggles as Roier swears at him through his own laughter.

"I can't believe I'm going to be with you for forever," Roier teasingly complains.

"Me neither," Cellbit responds.

The rest of eternity until the sun should die out and then beyond. Until they both crumble to dust in each other's arms at the end of the universe.

That sounds wonderful.

[xodarling]

can you plsplspls write something with the reader realizing she might actually be falling for rocker!beidou and hating herself for it but she can't stop?? pls on my knees (like during mid-fuck maybe or during aftercare)

sorry, i don’t want your touch. - xodarling

includes: fem!reader, this is barely smut focused, but it does have smut, angst idk, fluff kinda, riding, handjobs, making out, love confessions, comfort, crying, blowjob, dom!beidou, toxic relationship, happy ending yippee, down bad!beidou, ooc beidou prob, horrible standards

a/n: NO. fine. this is SOOO out my comfort zone so sorrgy if it sucks (it does suck)

beidou just… aggravated you to no end. she has this dumb smile on her every time she sees you and her eyes just light up when you make eye contact. just insufferable! the fact that the sex in this what was supposed to be transactional relationship was amazing made your anger so much worse.

after the marathon of fucking in her garage, beidou really took the time out of her day to care for you. despite, her legs being wobbly and her soul being drained. she cared for you, she ran you a bath and ordered takeout from your favorite restaurant, as a lover would do. it infuriated you to no end how she seemed so selfless in this relationship.

cuddling was nice. it’s been almost a week since the garage and your mind hasn't forgotten beidou’s pampering. always thinking about it, analyzing every detail of those memories. how she treated you like you were made of porcelain, how she kissed every mark she left on you, the way she held you, and how she whispered in your ear until you fell asleep. each thing she did made you angrier.

but why? most would love being treated like this by the bassist. girls love her, yet she chose you. it got you mad, like always.

sex was the one thing about her that didn't make you enraged. she was good at using her dick and you would gladly take it. it became common to have sex regularly, it was useful, it put your mind off your hatred for her and it felt good, double win. like now, the two of you swapping spit on her bed, both of your hands under clothing and caressing each other.

her compliments made you sick to your stomach, the way she cooed at your whimpers and chuckled when you bucked your hips, it was all so annoying. “you’re cute.” she whispered into your ear, pecking your cheek as you pumped your hand up and down her shaft. her pants were pulled down enough so her cock could be exposed, its shape was the only thing you liked about her, right? right.

the two of you lying down next to each other felt romantic, her arm around your shoulder felt protective, and her gaze on you was soft. even as you grope her cock with your hand, beidou shows nothing but love for you. it’s obvious she sees sex as something between two lovers, nothing like how you do. god, how insufferable this hopeless romantic is.

“am i?” you question teasingly. “of course you are.” ew. internally, that made you gag, but you didn't show it. instead, you slither down the bed to be at eye-level with her dick. your lips press themselves onto her tip, humming at the taste of her pre-cum. beidou groans at your kisses, your lips are soft against her skin, and it feels good. one of her large hands goes to the back of your head. part of you wants her to grab your scalp and fuck you like a common whore. but she doesn't.

she treads her fingers through your hair, looking down at you with a sort of gaze only seen in those vintage romance movies. you quietly sigh and wrap your lips around her tip, lowering your head further and further down her length, till your lips reach the base of it. even as you deepthroat, bob your head ferociously, and gag on it, she still treats you with kindness, with love.

“god, yes...” she sighs, smiling to herself. her other hand goes down to hold your own, embracing your fingers with her calloused ones. your lips and throat feel like heaven around her cock, it was warm and wet, and it felt a million times better because you were sucking her off, not some random groupie, you. your abdomen tensed up, the love that she felt toward you was like no other, and that made her orgasm hurl towards the end.

she lets out a guttural groan, arching her back as her tip began to pour out cum. you push your head all the way down to the base, eagerly swallowing all of her seed. there was a lot of it, her eyes were screwed shut as she grunted with each rope. after a few more seconds, it stopped, and she sighed out of relief. that stupidly handsome smile formed on her face again, and she chuckled some more.

“you were always so good at doing this.” she sighed, letting go of your head and hand, “but i think i want more.” her eyes had a glint of playfulness in them, she stared at you like you were her sun, her moon, and her stars, she treated you like you were a deity. she sits up, resting her back against the headboard of the bed.

you licked up a few stray drops before sitting up as well. a smile was on your lips, but you weren't happy to be with her. she made you warm, but it wasn't an in-love kind of warm, it was an angry one, you think. “oh, yeah?” you raise your eyebrows, “i think i can help you with that.” your hands get placed on your shoulders, gripping them so you could maneuver yourself to be right on top of her erection.

you impatiently sat down on her dick when your eyes met, she always has that stupid look in her eyes, and you wanted to rip her face off. the pleasure of impaling yourself took your mind off the anger, you let out a moan while she sighed again. her hands went to your waist as you began your riding. no words were spoken between you two. good, just how you like it.

your arms slithered around her waist as you rode her ferociously, skin slapping against skin loudly. your head was thrown back in pleasure, she was so big it made you forget everything in your life, all your worries. it was just the pleasure beidou’s cock made you feel. your train of thought was cut off by beidou’s lips wrapping around your nipple, gently sucking on the sensitive bud.

even as you rode her aggressively, she still kept her touch soft, like you would break if she went too hard. you huffed and went harder, the pleasure was doing a horrible job of masking the anger, so you got more desperate. your mind went to how she felt inside of you and how big she was, her tip ramming into your g-spot with each bounce. it felt good, being fucked like this, without needing to think.

your mind went blank, the pleasure took over again. the feeling of beidou’s cock took it all away, your riding her and sucking was driving you closer and closer to your orgasm. you wanted it. you needed it. and you were so close, it felt so good. your moans got higher and higher, your nails dug into her skin and your muscles were tensing up. oh, so close.

“you look so pretty right now.” that husky voice whispers, you widen your eyes when you hear it and you’re met with the sight of a woman, a woman pathetically in love with another. all of a sudden, that warm feeling was gone, despite your continued riding. your eyes met hers, her irises looked gentle, like a puppy’s or some innocent animal that knew nothing but to love. and it got you furious.

all of a sudden, that sweet euphoric high you were chasing disappeared. your bouncing stopped and the slick between your thighs now felt cold and uncomfortable. your stomach twisted in disgust at the harsh realization, your brain didn't want to accept it, you didn't want to accept that this brute who was nothing but muscle had your heart right in her rough palms.

you remember how her eyes would look for you through every crowd her band had performed to and lit up when she saw you. you remember how on the first valentine’s day after your relationship was official she went above and beyond for you in all things romantic. you remember all the times she protected you, how she kissed you, held you. you… loved it.

everyone around you saw you as no good. a burden. a gold digger, a narcissist, someone not to associate with. it was foreign to be treated so nicely and be shown love… care, and affection. beidou didn't mind your fits or insults, she would take all your attitude with a big smile on her face and a bouquet already ready in her hands. your mind is running rampant, and it makes all you're trying to hide and push down feel more real, more intense.

your eyes began to water. beidou deserved better, you knew this. she deserved more than some gold digger who only cared about herself, she deserved more than you. she needed someone who loved her and wasn't afraid to admit it. she deserved someone who could give you more than you ever could. no matter how hard you tried. with the way she looked at you, you had no choice but to process your feelings, and they hit you like a ton of bricks.

you felt horrible about yourself. what the hell are you doing? using this hopeless romantic for sex and money when all she does is love you unconditionally. beidou doesn't deserve someone as disgusting as you.

“babe… you okay?” she mutters, straightening her posture and loosening the grip she hand on your bare body. you hate her. you hate the way she has the nerve to treat you like this when all you’ve known is being pushed away. beidou noticed your discomfort, the way your arousal faded away, and began to pull out. any other asshole you fucked would keep going, but she didn't.

you look down and shake your head, “no…” you whisper, “no, i… can’t do this…” your mind is saying one thing, and your heart is saying another. you can’t accept it, out of all things, this is the one thing you cannot let happen in your life. you can’t be in love with beidou… you can’t, you just can't.

“woah… uh, it’s okay. we… we don't have to continue if you don’t wanna.” she tries her best to affirm, to give you solace. it does the opposite. her kindness was unfamiliar and it made you feel the need to put more walls up, more than the ton you already have. you huff, “just… stop..!” your mind was already everywhere, you didn't need beidou’s kindness to further infuriate you.

she opens her mouth to protest then decides against it. good. she blinked rapidly at you. you raised your voice at her, and that never happens. you clench your jaw and then start again, “what are you getting at, beidou? what’s your goal here?!” you hated her. you just wanted to punch her face mercilessly for the way she makes you feel.

“my… my goal? what do you mean?” your muscles were incredibly tense. she made you angry, “your goal in… this! what are you trying to do?! why are you being so nice!?” you push her a bit out of impulse. the two of you were still connected, her being inside you. but there were zero signs of arousal, just anger, and confusion between the two of you. “being so nice? you’re my girlfriend! why wouldn’t i treat you nicely?”

you stare at her with fury in your eyes, your heart racing sporadically, “some people are nice to each other ‘cause they like each other, not to use each other.” she says in a calmer tone, reassuring you with her hands gripping your shoulder. you can’t accept it. there’s no way, you truly thought that romance this pure was only in romance movies for losers with broken hearts.

your heart was accepting your love for her, it was warm, and it felt like something that came straight from fiction. but your brain didn't let it happen, being seen as weak, and showing love, wasn't normal for you. those tears you desperately tried to push down were climbing back up, and in an attempt to hide them, you look away.

“babe,” beidou whispers, “i love you, a lot.” her voice was soft, you found that disgusting. each attempt to push them down made them rise even quicker. your eyes quickly started to pour out single tears, little by little, beidou sighed and pulled you closer to her, head resting under her chin. “hun, it’s okay…” she murmured, combing her fingers through your hair. gentle, like how a lover should.

your mind was in turmoil, the warmth beidou gave you battling against the discomfort all of this gave you. this started as a way for money, but now it feels like it's so much more. you now craved beidou, you could easily leave, pretend she doesn't exist. but you can't, you need her. the two of you sat in silence for minutes, those were the calmest, yet most tense minutes of your life. the thoughts in your head were the only things you could fully process until the action of beidou pulling out ripped you away from your mind.

“what are you doing?” you sniffled, voice stuffy and uncharacteristically weak. “oh. i’m just assuming we won’t continue…” she says under her breath. however, her words fall on deaf ears. you lean up and stare back into her eyes. your hands cup her cheeks, eyes admiring the handsome face you loathed with all your life up until a few minutes ago.

“beidou.” you sighed. her eyes did something to you, and it wasn’t like when you were just a groupie, it was warm but not that kind of warm. you wanted to kiss her, hold her hand, go on dates with her, cuddle. you already did all those things together, but now, it didn't feel like a chore to do. you wanted to gossip about anything and talk the night away with her, you wanted her to buy you flowers and you do the same back.

“when we started dating, beidou… i thought you were obnoxious.” it felt like you were getting rid of tens of thousands of weights off your shoulders, and it was nerve-wracking saying it, but you just… couldn't suck it up anymore. if you did, you would never tell her how you felt. ever. “and i thought that i would never fall for you, that i’m just gonna use you for money and shit. but… but, you’re such a sweet person and i don’t know a lot about relationships but i know you deserve better than this…”

before she could protest, you spoke out again, “i’ve been… lying to myself and to you. you’ve made me feel things that I hated, and you’ve done it so selflessly.” your face was hot with shame and embarrassment, and your vision was blurry with tears. “i’ve just kept you around so i could spend money and get laid. but… i don't think i can just keep lying to you like this. i’m horrible for you… but i’m too selfish to let another girl have you.”

even amid this horrible confession, she still reaches up and wipes away those tears that fall. her hand was warm, and it was nice to have her show affection. “so… i’m sorry.” you cringe saying that, but it feels nice letting go of everything. “i’m sorry for lying to you, using you, and for treating you like shit. but… i love you, beidou.” dear god, if you just yesterday heard you say that you’d flip. but it’s true… you love her, even if you keep trying to gaslight yourself.

it was silent, you weren’t given any response from beidou so you were left alone with a hurricane of thoughts in your head. your embarrassment worsened by her silence. it would be great if she said something, or even gave you that cliche kiss after a confession. but, it was just silence. nothing. you nervously chewed on your lower, fiddling with the sheets on the mattress.

“cute.”

that’s all she had to say? cute? if you weren’t on the verge of a mental breakdown you would’ve slapped her so hard. but, you didn't. beidou notices the furrow in your brows and pinches your cheek, “it’s okay…” she chuckles, looking off to the side as she begins her side of the story. “y’know, i didn’t really care about the way you treated me, i thought it was kinda hot...” her eyes have an unfamiliar glint in them, and yours do too.

“so, i love you too.” she proudly smiles, her pride gleaming harshly, showcasing all of her feelings to you just from a gaze, her happiness made your brain short-circuit. apparently, what’s in those romance movies made for losers with broken hearts is true, because all you want to do is kiss her until both of you turn blue, and then some more. so that’s what you do.

your kiss was delicate, she held you and kissed you like you were made of porcelain, her rough hands keeping a possessive grip on your body. both of your lips slotted against one another, it was a perfect fit, like two puzzle pieces or like magnets. hopefully, this relationship would fit together like that as well. it’ll take time, but that time will come.

unfortunately, oxygen is needed to stay alive, so the two of you pull away. both of you look deep into each other’s irises, admiring the way one looks at the other. the stillness in the air was disrupted by you letting out a snicker, “what? what’s so funny?” beidou questions, “nothin’, just think you’re cute.” you make an excuse and cup her face in your palms, rubbing her cheekbones with your thumbs.

her eyes gaze down. oh, right. your breakdown was kind of a mood killer. “are we gonna… continue, or…?” she mutters. it takes a moment for you to decide, “how about we take a bath instead?” she hums in acknowledgment. the two of you were cold with sweat. gross, a bath would be very appropriate in a situation like this.

she huffs while standing up with you in her arms. the walk to the bathroom was filled with kisses, whispers, and small fits of laughter. it felt soft, and your attitude was nothing like what it usually was, totally unlike you. but, it felt comforting. beidou felt comforting. even in the cold bathroom, your core felt everlastingly hot because of the butterflies she gave you.

it’ll take a while for both of you to get the gist of a relationship, a healthy one at that. but learning and growing is part of the process, right? who would’ve guessed that this nimrod actually managed to steal your heart?

[chai-berries]

i’m a little crybaby bitch & i just sobbed over a movie but all i could think about is being abby’s little crybaby gf & having her comfort me </3

sooo unfortunately/fortunately i am not a big crier when it comes to anything but one of my best friends is a happy/sad/bored crier and i’ve helped her calm down post cry a few times. she’s a true cancer <3 i’ll channel her into my thoughts.

im thinking of two scenarios, watching something sad without abby & watching it with her ⤵️

watching without abby:

she’d probably be working on something in another room when you decide to start a sad fucking movie. abby’s ears perk at the first sniffle, but she brushes it off cause it’s always allergy season. but when she hears you shakily breathe out “oh,,, my gOD” with your voice all broken and wet, she’s immediately sliding to a stop right outside the living room. you’re curled up with a huge blanket swallowing you, surrounded by snacks and your emotional support water bottle. she notes your wide, glossy eyes and coos “baby what’s wrong?” and you gesture at the tv, “she - she just loves her family so so much! and she couldn’t tell them before they died!” your voice is cracking around your words.

abby has absolutely no idea who “she” is but that doesn’t keep her from sitting down and pulling you into her side, rubbing her hand up and down your arm. “they’re just a - a great family” you stutter though tears. abby looks up at the tv and sighs. “baby, why did you chose the saddest movie on netflix?” you hesitate. “uh, i was up to the challenge?” “yeah? how’s it going?” she quirks a brow at you. you laugh wetly and abby mentally fist pumps. she presses a kiss to your temple. “okay, how about we watch something happy. ill refill your water.” abby gets up to go into the kitchen when she’s stopped by a tug on her back belt loop. you’re looking up at her, eyes less glossy but still not dry enough. “what?” she asks. “thanks for putting up with a crybaby for a girlfriend.” she picks up your hand from its place at her waist and brings it up to her lips. “anything for you sweet cheeks”

watching with abby:

“no, no, no, nah, not happening! abby, please tell me they’re not gonna do what i think they’re gonna do!” you pause the movie and shake abby’s shoulder, your face so serious in the light of the television. abby giggles and shrugs like a fucking twerp and nudges you to keep watching the movie. she tells you that “you’ll find out soon - keep watching” like she’s never, in all the time you’ve been together, been witness to the millions of times you deep dived imdb and wikipedia five minutes into a movie whenever it starts out with a sad scene.

you don’t do sad movies. and it’s for a good reason! you get all dehydrated and you look sick for hours afterwards!! it’s embarrassing and gross!! abby has witnessed it once and, like her father’s daughter, handed you a glass of water and pulled you gently into her arms, holding you until you got your breathing under control. and that was a week before you asked her out!! on your first date she told you that the crying thing made her want to “take care of you forever”… is it too obvious to point out that she soooooo got lucky that night?

however, in present time she might be sleeping on the couch for trying to get a depressing movie past you. she apologizes to you, tucking you under her arm. “i promise it’s gonna be worth your tears, okay?” she kisses your head. “and i always take care of my crybaby girlfriend, don’t i?” she kisses the same spot again. you relax into her side.

… sooo it’s safe to say you sobbed a whole lot at the end and completely soaked the front of abby’s shirt. you guys had shifted horizontal mid-movie, you laying on top of her. “i hate you” sounds a lot more honest when you’re not desperately clutching at the waist of the person you’re talking to. “but it was a good story, right?? aww i’m sooo sorry, baby,” abby rubs your back. she hands you your water bottle and chocolate before you even think to ask, like she always does. then, you begin the embarrassingly to you cute to abby process that involves sips of water, bites of chocolate, and your head following the rhythm of abby’s chest up and down as you match her breaths.

<\3

no but really we all know abby will always comfort you even if she has no context to what you’re crying about! ride or die babyyyy

[arafilez]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ▰ ▰ ✶ WØRLD EPISØDE FIN: WILL ⪨

ㅤㅤ➛ ㅤiv.ㅤ ARRIBA 𒉽 kang yeosang❛ 𓇿

🥂̸̤ㅤㅤMDNI smut e2lㅤ ✸ㅤyou are sick and tired of this mission but you will do it, you will kill himㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ w: weapon usage, blood, extreme injuries, sex ㅤㅤ»ㅤㅤ wc: 4.5kㅤㅤ𠈔ㅤㅤ moodboard

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❛ lacuca racha, step in step cha cha . ❜

“Oh for fuck’s sake send someone else,” you scream at your mission email and threw your head back in the chair. This is stupid, this is absolutely and horrifyingly stupid. You have done this mission two times now and failed.

And it frustrates you.

You have never failed any mission and this new one which you have tried two times in the last month has brought you nothing but failure. It also made you injure badly at your waistline which is still in its healing phase but at least you can run and combat now. But suddenly the same mission is handled to you again after four weeks of resting period.

Kill Agent ‘K.Ys’ from Ateez.

Just on the day you come back.

Terrific.

You stand up kicking the chair in rage as it slams into the wall behind you and walk towards your boss’s office. Knocking on the door, you don’t bother waiting for a ‘come in’ as you strut inside and slam the papers on his table.

Your boss doesn’t turn around and maintains a calm demeanour as if he is expecting you and it infuriates you more as he slowly turns around to see you.

“Well, I see you got your mission,” he grins and you roll your eyes visibly.

“Sir, I am obviously injured, I have failed the last two times I tried this, you should be sending someone better,” you reason calmly even though just a few seconds ago you slammed the door.

He chuckles and you shiver at the underlying sarcasm in it and you look at him as he stands up. “For an agent, you are obviously not very clever, are you y/n?”

“Sir, I don’t understand,” you stutter out getting nervous at his figure. His eyes search your face and you shiver lightly at the thoughts which you are aware he is plotting in his mind.

“You are our best agent for this, you have done it two times, so you can do it again. The third time is a charm, as they say,” his voice suddenly turns sweet and cheerful and your doubts increase at his sickly tone, why is he behaving like this?

You decide not to question and nod your head wordlessly working your way towards the door as your hand lingers over the knob.

He was just being nice, right? Even though he did say you are stupid and suddenly changed his sentence to something better.

You turn around murmuring a quiet, “I will not disappoint you, Sir,” and leave. He is definitely up to something. And that something includes you.

You wear your tactical suit and make sure the guns and the knives are in place along with the small loop earring that acts as a laser. You carry another gun too this time because you don’t know how your meeting will go with K.Ys this time.

K.Ys and you are known for your notorious encounters. Your past meetings have been rather interesting.

Apart from your missions to kill him you have seen him multiple times in your stakeouts. The known-for-his-words seducer, the model-faced seducer of Ateez. As an enemy agent it went way beyond your ethics how the girls just lay on his feet.

K.Ys, whose real name is still unknown to you, is a man who has a way with his words. The amount of times he had tried to rope you in with his sweet words, and seductive language and the equal number of times you had almost twisted a knife in his body. Like is he hot? Yes, maybe, probably, definitely! But lying on his feet for that? Absolutely not, where are people’s dignity nowadays?

“One more sentence from that mouth of yours and I will twist you to death,” you warned him.

“I would like to see you try, my love,” he spoke with an enamouring smile that you had half the mind to slap it off.

So when you were finally assigned to eliminate him a month ago you could have never been happier. Finally you will get to see him shut up that too under your mercy. Too bad, he was actually really hard to kill.

The first time you were finally assigned to kill him you had walked past the wired barriers and quietly entered the abandoned factory you were given information as the temporary base for Ateez K.Ys. You had backup waiting out for your signal and you entered the password for the door only to be hit with an ‘Access denied.’ Your brows furrowed in confusion and you tried it again but the same red light popped up. You racked your brain and spoke through your earpiece about the problem only for your boss to yell that you were the one wrong and he should have sent someone better.

Getting annoyed at his continuous comments you yanked off your earpiece, put it in your pocket and tried again. Same result!

“What are you looking for sweetheart?” his deep voice interrupted you as your hands hovered over the lock. You turn around swiftly push him to the door and hold a knife to the person’s throat and he merely chuckles. The dim light showed off his perfect features as you tried to scan his face and there he was, in all his glory, K.Ys of Ateez.

You internally cursed yourself for tugging over your earpiece but maintained a stern stance as you spoke up, “Well, you are a lot more tolerable when under my knife, Agent K.Ys.”

He merely chuckled at your sentence and paid no heed to the knife in front of his throat as he said, “What a pleasant surprise!” His demeanour had a dangerous edge to it and you felt him scanning your face with his eyes he spoke up again, “I assume you are here to kill me?”

“Yes,” you shrugged and took out your gun to eliminate him. This was easy, your boss was worried for nothing. You hold it at his head and just as you were about to pull the trigger K.Ys vanished. You gasped out visibly confused and before you could act someone came behind your back and slashed you with a knife. The warmth oozed your skin as you groaned and turning around you saw the same man now smirking. The superficial cut was in the back of your mind now, as you ran and punched him in the face as he held your fist easily.

“Drooling over a hologram sweety? That’s how handsome I am, aren’t I?” he whispered and twisted your arm as you groaned in pain sitting on your knees. You definitely should not have pulled off that earpiece.

You slid on the ground kicked his shin and picked up your gun from the ground. “Too cocky, aren’t we?” you smirked swirling your gun in your hand.

“Oh darling, you should not try to kill me,” his voice increased in his pitch of seduction and you rolled your eyes kicking his stomach again and he groaned from the contact. Chuckling at him you aimed your gun but before you could shoot something hit the back of your head and you blacked out.

The second time, you were in disguise. You had information about the club he was going to and used his seducing skills for information and you readied yourself for it. A red sleek dress with a thigh slit, red heels, red lips, and red highlights in your hair. You put on a face mask and wore the thigh chain which would work as the recorder, hid the gun in your dress and attached a katana inside your shoe.

You walk inside the club getting induced by the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies. Emotionless, meaningless conversation filled your ear and made you wonder why you took up a job in this dimension.

Not wanting to dwell with your thoughts you made your way towards the back room and entered it. The first scene you saw made you roll your eyes as a girl ground on K.Ys as he whispered in her ears and she repeated it.

Suddenly his gaze fell on you and dark eyes glazed your body and you tried to discard the heavy feeling under his eyes checking you out. On the good side, your plan was up and working. You smiled through your face mask and he smirked back suddenly the person in front of him was of no use anymore as he made her get off his lap. You snickered to yourself as you saw her leaving without even one release and made your way towards him rocking your hips lightly.

“Oh babygirl, you found the right person for you,” he whispers as you straddle him and he circles his hand around your hips. His heated gaze made you light-headed as you scolded yourself and you’re hormones for it but you returned it back and slowly kissed the corner of his lips.

“Teasing me now?” he voiced out as another hand caressed your waistline and you pulled your hair to the side exposing your neck area. His eyes landed on your neck as he kissed your collarbones and made his way up. You pulled up your leg and circled it around his waist and the katana was almost out. You just have to push it inside him.

“So pretty,” he kisses your jawline and starts sucking on it as you moan out a little too loud for your acting but tighten your hands around the katana. You had to kill him.

Your eyes widened as you felt a dagger pierce your waistline making you limp against his figure. It is twisted in and a strangled cry left your throat as you fell. You looked up through hazed eyes and watched him leave before backup arrived.

Your mind fills with hatred towards him and the way you felt your weaknesses emerging and you decide that this time you will do it. You will kill K.Ys.

You walk inside the alley with the white cloak wrapped around your body and head to kill K.Ys for the third time. To say you are desperate to kill him is wrong. You are more than desperate. You are sick and tired of your boss treating you like a toy, sending you on the same mission and trashing you when you return unsuccessful.

This is stupid in more ways than one.

You look around subtly keeping a watch for him and clutch the gun at your hips. You have to do it, you have to kill him. And you have to get out without getting hurt.

Yeosang knew you were coming, all courtesy of Wooyoung and his twin’s hacking skills and he smirks to himself as soon as he hears Wooyoung through his ear-piece point out which one is you. He watches carefully as you go past him and shakes his head to himself. You are subtle, he will give you that. But he was able to notice your ministrations and continuous fidgeting.

He tilts his head to his side and walks towards the end of the alley and he is aware of the subtle footsteps behind him. He confidently goes towards the storeroom and doesn’t bother to look back.

You see him not turning as you pick up your pace and walk behind him. He opens the sliding door and slowly turn around and lock your eyes with him. Your hood is down as you take in his features slowly, the mint highlights below the black hair, his sharp nose bridge, a remarkable face and the sheer suit he was wearing.

And you run.

He only watches, one eyebrow-raising at you and you take your gun and click the trigger multiple times. Yeosang simply dodges the bullets and you run faster and enter the storeroom.

The door shuts behind you and your senses click. This was a trap and you walked right into it. Nevertheless, you clutch your gun and look around.

You click on your gun lightly and discard the cloak. Crouching below you hide yourself behind the numerous boxes and your feet silently trudge the ground.

“You are the pawn again, y/n?” you hear K.Ys’s voice boom through the factory and he somehow knew your name. You resist the urge to get up and get a look at him and shoot the bullet.

Yeosang clicks his tongue and continues, “But you are too pretty to be killed.”

Your blood boils at his words and before you can think with your mind, you get up and fire a bullet in his direction. He dodges it pretty easily and chuckles saying, “Don’t use up all your bullets, babygirl.”

You walk towards him as you say, “I will if it means you will be dead for good.”

“Full of spite now, aren’t we?” he smirks tilting his head and walking towards you. Your eyes travel down the muscles twitching under his sheer sleeves and your eyes wander on them a bit before you regain your posture and cock your gun at him.

“Oh darling, you may not want to kill me,” he says his voice turning sickly sweet and you let out a sarcastic laugh and say, “Keep repeating those sentences K.Ys and-“

“My name is Kang Yeosang, love, learn it,” and as soon as he says that you push him towards the boxes as some of them tumble behind and hold the gun to his head.

“The only difference between the last times you said those sentences is that you lived and today you will die, Kang Yeosang” you reply, your eyes glazing over the man at your gunpoint, a satisfied smile tinting your lips.

Yeosang tilts his head in amusement and swiftly yanks your hand on the gun towards him making you stumble over his figure for a millisecond and suddenly you are the one pinned to the boxes. You two keep fighting with good amounts of defence. You kick him on the knees making him groan after some seconds but he quickly gets up and pushes you to the nearest wall glaring at you.

You glare back at him and as if a switch goes on inside Yeosang he says, “Are you sure you aren’t here just to have a good time? Did your boss send the good girl to have a taste of my dick?”

“Shut the fuck up, I hate you,” you grit out pushing him but to no avail and he laughs looking at you, his deep laughter echoing through the storeroom. He pins your hand behind you stands up against the wall properly and hovers over your figure.

“And I hate the way you laugh so much at your useless teammates’ lame jokes, but we are not on complaining basis now, are we?” he challenges and your eyes scan his face. In all your six months of countless encounters of his arrogance and your stubbornness you might have realise that, in fact, he really is good looking.

“Playing hard to get won’t get you anywhere, darling,” he purrs and you whimper as your mind travels places. Blame Yeosang’s seductive words, or his deep voice, or you not being able to get a good fuck for years now your mind pauses to think. You feel yourself getting lightheaded at his words.

He is a seducer for god’s sake, of course, he is good, and you are here to kill him so get your priorities straight, your mind screams at you. A pathetic whine leaves your throat when you feel Yeosang lightly kissing the skin behind your ear, his hands hovering over your waist hovering a bit.

Fuck priorities, you scream internally and your reactions amuse Yeosang as he grips your hips tighter and you moan at him whispering right into your ear, “Just as I thought, you are all talk and no bite.”

You gasp loudly and open your eyes to see him. The well-lit storeroom accentuates his features as you see his dark, lust-filled eyes boring into yours. You take in his face that looks like a sculpture and you curse the Gods for making a man this beautiful.

“I hate you so much,” you breathe heavily and watch his eyes run all over your face before grinning, “That’s not new, tell me something I don’t know.”

“You can’t get information from me, Kang,” you glare at him and you see a shift in his eyes as it locks with yours, “Are you sure you want this?” You stare at him dumbfounded, you mind clouding at the thought of his hands being pressed to your body, his mouth leaving warm, open kisses and you a whine leaves your throat. “Fuck yes,” you say.

He smirks at your answer pressing his lips at the base of your jaw. You feel his nose brushing along as his soft lips imprint on your skin and you throw your head back to the wall. Your hormones are acting up too wildly for your own good.

“Yo-You are fucking insane,” you breathe out and he merely smirks saying, “You are the one falling apart when I have barely touched you princess.”

“I need you,” you whine pathetically, the thoughts of killing him at the back of your mind. You can kill him after he fucks you for all you care. You will think about your dignity some other time too. Right now you just need him inside you.

He sucks your neck harshly at your words, his teeth clashing on your skin making you cry at the contact. He pulls back shortly admiring his work and presses his lips to yours. You kiss him back and the kiss is everything but soft, tongues fighting for dominance, teeth clashing and you groan as you fill him manoeuvre you by clutching your head and pushing it closer to his.

A string of saliva interconnects you two as he leaves your lips and presses light kisses, unsure fingers hovering over the zipper of your body suit. His breathless features and messy hair send a rush down to your core making you grow impatient by every second.

“Yeosang just take it off,” you whine and he is quick to tear it off your body and drinks in your sight. He feels himself getting hard as he slides off your panties and inserts his digits pushing them in with no mercy.

A strangled cry leaves your throat at the sudden contact while Yeosang pushes his fingers inside scissoring you open. “Fuck princess, so wet, only for me isn’t it?”

Your malicious words dry at the back of your throat and you can only mewl, he smirks at your fucked out state saying, “You were talking big a moment ago, what happened now?”

A half-whine half-gasp leaves your throat at his words and he continues, “Boys here can’t fuck you like this can they, princess?”

“N-no they can’t, oh my god,” you gasp as Yeosang’s finger hits your G-spot repeatedly making you dizzy and you hear the slick sounds of your clit filling the room. Pressure builds up in your stomach and Yeosang can feel it too with the way you are clenching around him making him pull away,

A disappointed grunt leaves your lips and you mutter, “Asshole.”

“Keep talking like that and I will leave you here to fend for yourself.”

“You are so full of yourself.”

“And you are about to be full of me but you don’t see me complaining do you?”

You shut up soon and feel your mouth watering as he takes off his suit and you stare at the bulge in front of you. He smirks at your reaction pushing you back to the wall.

You cry loudly as he pushes his cock inside you and grip his shoulders and he gives you time to adjust. As soon as you nod he thrusts into you repeatedly broken whimpers falling from your lips. He groans himself but still takes his chance as he intakes your figure and says, “I wonder what your boss’s reaction will be after he knows his ‘best agent’ got fucked senseless by K.Ys.”

Your nerves heighten at his words, at the knowledge of your boss, at the fact that you are in fact supposed to be killing and you mewl a quiet “faster” to him as he pounds into you relentlessly. Your throat feels dry and you can’t even form a proper sentence as he abuses you hole, hitting in the right place every time.

“Come on princess, don’t be so quiet now. Show some gratitude for being fucked as you deserve and moan my name,” Yeosang hoarsely speaks up and you let out broken and loud moans at his words.

“That’s right, nobody can fuck you as I do, can they babygirl?” you scream at his words saying, “No, o-only you.”

“C-close,” you mumble at him, your senses at the peak of not getting your release earlier and he pushes himself in again saying, “Yeah? Well, I don’t know if I should let you come yet.”

“Shit, Yeo please,” you cry out at his words and a teasing smile lingers on his lips at the nickname and he whispers, “Okay love, cum, let go for me.” A loud moan of his name leaves your throat as you finally get to release and he thrusts himself through it coming soon in the condom after you.

You pant heavily your legs feeling like jelly and he pulls himself out and murmurs a small “I got you”. He holds your waists, makes you sit down and kneels in front of you carefully.

“What the hell are you doing to me Kang Yeosang?” you whisper as you see him cradle you, your head falling on his shoulders as he picks up your gun, katana and suit and keeps them beside you.

“You are supposed to kill me,” you whisper but Yeosang pays no heed to your words as he scans your body for any mark that would hurt. His eyes stop on your own, and you feel delusional as his soft brown ones hold your gaze. No way in hell is he now going all soft on you!

“Why do you always let your boss treat you like a pawn?” he whispers and you rest your head on his shoulders again. Your eyebrows furrow at his sentence and ask, “What do you mean?”

“You are like a suicide bomber to them, they send you to lure me and then try to kill both of us,” he says softly, one hand caressing your hair but suddenly you hold the hand and yank him away. You glare at him, the light constriction in your throat becoming worse every second. Just the time you thought he is being nice!

“Stop with the brainwashing, if you want to kill me do it now,” you grit your teeth, eyes seething with anger and he sighs handing you your earpiece. “Listen for yourself,” he says but you ignore him. You put on your suit hurriedly and he watches you as you put on the earpiece.

Your ears feel the familiarity of the machine as you are about to pick up your gun and suddenly your boss’s voice floats in your ear.

“She is dead already I think, easier for us, you know K.Ys is in there so kill him, go.”

You stop dead on your track and suddenly everything hits. Your boss’s weird change in behaviour, his fake smiles, him handing you this mission specifically. But how did Yeosang know?

“Yeosang, h-how did you know?” you look up at him and he watches you slowly pick up your hand, clutching the gun so tight he can almost see your knuckles whitening.

“I saw them attack you both times and we saved you the second time,” he speaks nonchalantly as if saving your enemy agent is the most normal thing ever. Your eyes float with confusion and thus Yeosang explains it in short.

Yeosang saw the figure behind you hitting your head and he quickly called for their fighting team. Before the person can even touch Yeosang, San jumps in and kills him. His eyes moved to you and Yeosang shrugged confused as to why your people were trying to kill you. Seonghwa quickly pulled him out of there but his eyes lingered on your figure but left you there.

The second time Yeosang looked up in horror when the same man who slashed your waistline pounded on him. Yeosang had skills and fought the man and soon was assisted and after they made sure he was dead he looked at you.

“They keep sending her as a pawn,” Seonghwa voiced his thoughts and Yeosang contemplated sometime before saying, “Should we bring her back to base?”

“Hongjoong is gonna kill you,” San whispered but looking at your unconscious face he sighed saying, “Fine, we will treat her and then leave her at her house with a sedative.”

Your house was pretty easy to find, all courtesy to the push-and-pull couple of Yunho and Wooyoung’s twin, as they treated you fast. Hongjoong seethed with anger but got defeated when Yeosang told him the plan. He has never seen Yeosang this worked up for anyone and even though it worried him, he knew he was treading another fire himself.

Yeosang, with the help of Mingi, had dropped you off at your house, with a perfectly clean bandage and with one last lingering look your way they had gone away.

“Is that why I was at the doorstep of my house?” you ask him softly and he nods unable to meet your eyes and you exhale. You were a pawn to them, a person they would happily kill for their sake. You, their best agent, were just prey to lure the predators.

“I might have hated your guts when we met a few months ago, but I don’t let anyone get treated like a pawn, and besides, you are not a bad person,“ he says, his mind hovering over his outburst at seeing you injured. He was very close to killing everyone who tried to kill you.

“Can I join you guys, take revenge here and go back to the A-dimension?” your sudden question makes Yeosang look up at you. He didn’t question why you were here in the first place but nodded.

“You still have to meet Hongjoong though,” he trails off unsure as he steps in front of you. A mixture of his cologne and sweat hits your nose and you sigh contently. You could get used to this. You could get used to him.

“I think he will like me considering how good I am at combat,” you smile lightly looking at his face and he shrugs, a light laugh falling from his lips as you continue, “And considering his seducer actually fell for one woman.”

“That’s a lie,” he scoffs but can’t resist it when you press your lips against his encasing him in a soft kiss. He kisses you back, his hands caressing your cheeks and you smile making him smile too.

You pull back staring at his eyes, deep in affection, and say, “Right, because you wait for consent and kiss the informants like this after too?”

“Shut up,” he groans and you laugh at his shy demeanour.

Holding his hands you say, “Call your fighting team, I want to show these Z-dimension bitches what their ‘pawn’ can do.” 

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[corruptedcaps]

Fake Week

“What kind of sicko are you Kane? I will not wear this… this butt plug. Its bad enough I have to pretend to be your girlfriend for a month so you’ll stop bullying Kevin but I’m not going indulge you in this sick game and wear some lewd sex toy of yours. I don’t care if this is what all your exes did! You’ll knock it down to just a week if I do? Alright fine but I’m cleaning it first. Maybe cleaning it more than once.”

“Are you happy now Kane? No you don’t get to check it! No wonder you’re single, you’re such a creep! Oh sure you wanted to see it was fitting fine and not hurting me? Yeah right how stupid do you think I am? And besides it fits perfectly, like really perfect actually. I uh got to go.”

“Yeah so what if I’m putting on makeup? I figured if I’m going to sell being your girlfriend I should probably start looking like those vapid bitches you are used to dating. Plus this is so easy, don’t know why I didn’t try it before. It’s just an act, you’re still a creep and once today is done I’ll be one day closer to not having to pretend to be your girlfriend!”

“It’s called yoga Kane. All you exes are flexible, athletic bitches so I thought I might as well act like I care about this stuff. I have to say though I’ve seen such a crazy improvement in just a few hours. It’s like magic! I can stretch and twist like never before and I’ve seen improvements in other areas too. Areas I see you’re checking out you cheeky bastard. I guess it is a pretty amazing ass now so I’ll allow it but don’t get any ideas, I’m just your fake girlfriend for 5 more days.”

“I never noticed how long my hair had gotten lately, it was getting in my face all the time during yoga so I decided to put it into a high ponytail, you know like one of your exes, and it’s so freeing. I used to think it was so bitchy looking but now honestly I think it’s sexy like this don’t you think? Of course you agree, I can see that bulge in your pants ‘babe’. Hmmm it’s kind of hawt seeing someone other that Kevin be turned on by me. Even with him it’s so few and far between lately. Maybe in four days when I’m back to being his girlfriend he’ll like this new hairstyle.”

“Ugh why are my so called friends so annoying today? They were complaining that I was saying mean things about Margo. All I said was if she wanted to ever get a guy she should maybe lay off the ice cream once and awhile. It’s not my fault the fatty started to cry. She should thank me for being honest with her. I should be more honest with the lot of them and kick them to the curb but they’re the only friends I’ve got. You’ve heard Amber and Mercedes want to be friends with me? The two biggest bully’s in school, but they are pretty cool and fashionable unlike these other dweebs. Maybe I’ll give them a text, thanks for the encouragement…. babe.”

“You were right about Amber and Mercedes. We texted all day yesterday and met up at the mall and went shopping. They convinced me to throw out all my lame clothes and buy a totally new look. It’s mostly pink and tight and sexy as hell. They also convinced me about something else. About you. I’ve been such a brat to you these past few days and you’ve been nothing but a gentleman to me. It’s time you got some sort of reward for your troubles. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t going to be a reward for me too. Just stand there looking handsome as hell and I’ll do the rest.”

“Hey baby, last night was mmmm really hawt but don’t tell anyone ok? I don’t want Kevin to know that I cheated on him last night… or this morning… or in your car later today. I can’t help it if you can’t keep your hands off me. I mean who can blame you? Plus you are MY boyfriend for two more days. Of course I told Amber and Mercedes though, they’re my besties, I had to tell them. Plus they were so impressed by what a bitchy thing my cheating was that they made me their new leader. Wasn’t your ex their old leader? Well I’m going to being even badder and bitchier than she was. Mmm that’s making me so horny. Fuck it let’s go to your car now.”

“Last day of our ‘relationship’. It’s only right that we get all the fucking in that we can. Glad to see your stamina is up to the task. Kevin wouldn’t last a fraction that you are capable of. What a fucking loser, can’t believe I have to go back to him tomorrow. Why am I doing this again? To stop you bullying him? He deserves to be bullied and you’re soooo hawt doing it. I never admitted since putting in the butt plug I’ve been touching myself at night thinking about you wailing on him. You’re so much more of a man than he ever will be. You know what? Fuck him. I deserve a strong, mean, and hot as hell boyfriend and you deserve a bitchy queen bee of a girlfriend. Kevin deserves to be the victim. Forgot our deal, I’m yours for good now and Kevin is all yours.”

“Oh the jacket? It belongs to my boyfriend, Kane. You know, your bully? Me date you? As if loser, I’ve always been Kane’s girl and always will. It’s like I was made for him. You’re just some simping creep who’s wanted in my panties for years. Everyone knows it, because my beta besties Amber and Mercedes are telling them right now. Those two can spread news like wildfires. You’ll be a pariah by the end of the day. Kane will be cheered on for bullying you. Mmmm speaking of which here he comes. Don’t forget to cry, it makes me so wet when you do.”

[absurdthirst]

New Year's Second Chance {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 18.5k

Warnings: Animosity, hostility, heartbreak, technically step-sibling relationship, angst, domestic violence (one slap), smoking, hate sex?, idiots in love, fingering, vaginal sex, rough sex, oral sex (female receiving), hints of anilingus, biting, mixed emotions

Comments: Coming home for the holidays was not. something you were looking forward to. Especially not when you realize that Javier Peña will be there. Your mother is happily married to his father, but you hate Javier. For a good reason, or so you think

A/N: Happy New Year!!!

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Welcome to Laredo.” You groan as you drive past the sign of your hometown, feeling a little sick. It’s the holidays and you’ve tried to stay away for as long as possible but you ran out of excuses. Your mom is married to Chucho Peña. Has been married to him for a few years and you have successfully avoided the wedding, the holidays, and every event in between. Your work overseas has provided a bounty of excuses but now, you’ve been reassigned back to the U.S and the lie has run its course. You offered to stay in a hotel but your mom insists on you staying at the house. Once you’ve pulled up outside the Peña ranch, your mom comes rushing out, screaming your name and wrapping you in a hug that you can only describe as coming home. You smile and breathe her in, “hi mom.” 

She grins when she pulls back to look at you, her eyes a little watery. “Come on, let’s get you inside. You must be hungry and tired after all that traveling.” She ushers you in and you look around, “where’s Chucho?” You ask and she smiles, “he went out to get some things.” 

You nod and she gets to work on making you something to eat. You just finish your sandwich when the garage door opens and Chucho walks in, setting the grocery bags on the counter and you stand up. The old man grins and wraps his arms around you. You've always liked him. Your dad died when you were young and you worried your mom would be alone until she struck up her friendship with Chucho at a grief counseling meeting at the local church. He put the light back in her eyes and you thank him for that. “It’s good to see you.” You murmur when he releases you and you don’t see the younger Peña until he says “what? No hug for me.” Your hackles go up, your spine straightens, and you swallow harshly. “What the hell is he doing here?” You ask, knowing that your mom told you he was still in Colombia taking down the Cali cartel.

Javier frown. Unsure why you hate him so much. “Honey, be nice! Javi just got back earlier. He wrapped up his little case so he flew in to join us.” Only your mom could call taking down one of the biggest drug cartels a “little case”. 

“That’s great.” You say sarcastically. “Glad he could make it.”

Javier huffs, setting the bags he was carrying down on the counter. “Don’t worry, Chiquita. I’ll be down the hall for the next two weeks.” He smirks, “maybe longer. I ain’t got nowhere to go now I’m back from Colombia.” He goads you and you want to stomp your foot like a child. 

“Gee, that’s great. One big happy family.” You sass, “aren’t we lucky?” You ask your mom who raises her eyebrows at you in silent warning. You didn’t know Javier would be here. If you did, you would’ve avoided coming back to Laredo for another three years. “I am going to take a shower and get unpacked.” You declare, asking your mom which room you’re staying in and she glances at Chucho before she shows you down the hall to the room you’re staying in. The one right next to Javier’s childhood bedroom.

Growling to yourself, you toss the bags down onto the bed and sigh. You hate Javier, can’t stand being around him. Arrogant and prideful, cocky and worse - a womanizer. Man thinks that he can flirt with and fuck any woman he wants and it’s disgusting. If you hadn’t promised your mom that you would stay through the New Year, you would be heading back to the airport right now. As it is, you will just have to ignore Javi. No doubt he will be too busy plowing through the single and unhappily married women in town, if he didn’t fuck them the last time he was here.

Chucho tuts as Javier glares at where you just stood. “What’s the issue between the two of you?” He asks and Javier shakes his head. “I don’t even know, Pa. We were friends. Back in the day and she - she just turned one day and was mean to me. I don’t even know what I did.” He confesses and your mom raises her eyebrows, knowing his reputation even back then. “I swear, I have no fucking clue.” He shakes his head, but he knows that he won’t put up with your shit.

In your room, you unpack quickly and decide that you want to take a shower. Knowing that you hadn’t been very cordial to Javier, but you don’t have it in you. You want nothing to do with him, and you’re stuck with him for the entire holiday. You’ll just be as pleasant as you can and your mom will have to realize that her fantasy for a family holiday is nothing more than a pipe dream.

Javier decides to settle back into his room. He only arrived back a couple of days ago and he hasn’t had a chance to unpack with the whirlwind of chores his Pa had assigned to him as soon as he arrived back in Laredo. He decides to shower before he heads out with his Pa to get the shopping list your mom assigned for dinner and he does like your mom. She’s been good for his dad. Makes sure the place is clean, that he has a homemade dinner, and that he is happy. His Pa looks after your mom, loves her, and that makes Javi happy. He feels better knowing that his dad is happy. Deciding to shower, he grabs his toiletry bag and heads into the hallway, opening the bathroom door and he’s shocked when he sees you standing in the shower.

You squeal in surprise when the door opens and grab the shower curtain to rip it around your body. “What is wrong with you?” You scream when he doesn’t immediately turn around and leave. “Close the door!” It infuriates you that you haven’t been here an hour and Javi is already pushing boundaries and pissing you off. You wish you had never come here.

Javier slams the door shut, his eyes wide and he realizes this is gonna be a long two weeks around you. You used to be friends. Good friends. He doesn’t know what happened. Kinda chalked it down to you being jealous of Lorraine when he got with her and proposed and then he went to Colombia after that shit show. Which was strange since you had stood him up the night he got back together with her the last time. Heading back to his room, he decides to wait until you’re done before he attempts to leave the sanctuary of his room.

Locking the door, you turn on the shower and climb in. Closing your eyes and sighing as you lean against the tiled wall. Fuck. Why, why, why, do you have to be stuck in this house with Javi? The bad thing is that the bastard looks good. Colombia hadn’t been bad to him. He’s more handsome than ever, maybe a little worn down, but he still looks good. That pisses you off more than anything. You remember being so fucking excited that night and then so heartbroken.

Javier sighs when he hears you leave the bathroom and close the door to the guest room. He makes his way into the bathroom and it smells like your body lotion. He inhales deeply. His cock twitching at the thought of smelling it on your skin. He turns on the shower and gets in a few moments later, cursing the fact that his cock is getting hard

After getting dressed, you feel better, leaving the guest bedroom and going to the kitchen. “Okay, I’m unpacked and feeling better after a shower.” You promise, giving your mom another hug. “I’ve missed you.” You tell her, even though you’ve avoided coming home in order to not see Javi since your mother got involved with Chucho.

Your mom smiles, kissing your cheek. "I missed you so much baby. So much. I - it's been so long. I feel like it's been a lifetime since I last saw you. You - I've been married to Chucho for three years." She reminds you of your absence.

You had known she was going to guilt you. “I know mom, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy with work.” You tell her. It’s not a lie, you just don’t admit that you asked for assignments during the holidays so you didn’t have to come here. “I’ll try to do better.”

Your mom nods, knowing you’ve been busy. “Why are you and Javier butting heads? You used to be good friends. What happened?” She asks with a concerned frown. Before you can answer, the man in question comes into the kitchen, hair wet and buttoned slightly open as he opens the fridge to grab a bottle of beer.

“Nothing.” You shrug slightly, not willing to give Javi the satisfaction of knowing that he still here under your skin. “We’re just….different people.” You settle for that and ignore the snort as he twists open his beer bottle and takes a swig.

Your mom frowns but nods, not wanting to escalate the issue when you’re in front of Javi. She doesn’t understand why you’re mad at him after so many years of not seeing him. “So…are we going to go grocery shopping?” You ask your mom who nods and Javi smirks, kinda wanting to push your buttons. “I’ll come with.” He says and smirks when you huff.

“So we’re buying cigarettes and booze?” You snort, rolling your eyes. “I think that’s about the limit of your cooking abilities, right?” You have no hope that he had learned any skills since you last ate with him.

Javier snorts, “you ain’t wrong there, sweetheart. Can make toast and eggs for the ladies that spend the night but that’s about it. I’m hopeless.” He declares and sips his beer after opening it.

You grind your teeth, irritated that you are affected by that. “Probably want them to make you breakfast.” You huff, looking over at your mom again. “When do you want to go? Might as well get it over with since we will have a tag-along.”

Javier smirks, loving how he can annoy you. He is going to take great pleasure in doing it again and again during your visit. “We can go now.” Your mom suggests and Javier nods, downing the bottle of beer until he’s tossing it in the trash and adjusting his too-tight jeans. 

“Let’s go ladies.” He says and winks at you as he makes his way out into the garage.

“Kill me now.” You huff, rolling your eyes. You shouldn’t have come, you should have known that Javi would be home since he had been suspended. Grabbing your purse, you go out into the garage. “Oh hell no.” You shake your head when you see him sitting in the passenger seat of your mom’s Buick. “I sit up front. You get your ass in the back.”

Javier looks at your mom, giving her those puppy eyes that always got him what he wanted as a kid. “Oh honey, just get in the back.” Your mom says and you growl under your breath while Javier gives you a victorious grin. Your mom is soon driving away from the ranch, you grumbling in the back, and Javier smirks at you in the mirror, loving to see you so annoyed.

You don’t talk on the way to the grocery store, sulking in the back seat like a child and even crossing your arms at one point. You hate Javi, hate him. “Fucking ridiculous.” You mutter to yourself.

He bites his lip to smother his chuckle, loving how annoyed you are. And when you arrive at the store, Javier gets out and grabs the cart for your mom. “Thanks sweetheart.” She smiles at him and you follow along, arms crossed and brow furrowed. 

“Is that Javier Peña?” A middle aged woman asks and comes over with a grin on her face. “Oh boy. You’ve grown up since you used to mow my yard when you were seventeen.” She says with a blush and Javier chuckles, “all grown up now, Señora Alvarez.”

“All grown up and no manners.” You mumble under your breath and walk over to the bananas to make sure there are plenty at the house. You eat one every morning for potassium. Javi and the old woman continue chatting and pretty soon you hear a girlish giggle from the older woman and roll your eyes. He’s obviously turned on the charm and started flirting with the elderly woman. There’s no one he wouldn’t flirt with apparently.

Your mom rolls the cart over to you and nudges your arm. “He is kinda cute all grown up. He’s not as flighty as he used to be. Always seemed to feel like he struggled to keep his feet on the ground in one place. I guess going to Colombia cured him of the travel bug.” She guesses, “suppose that’s why he didn’t marry Lorraine.”

“Good for her.” You snort. “She got lucky. I can’t imagine she would be happy with her husband trying to lift every skirt he sees.” You don’t know why he didn’t marry Lorraine, or why you should care. It’s nothing to you.

Your mom nods, “she wasn’t happy when he left her standing at the aisle and had his friend Frankie give the bride a note detailing his departure to go to the DEA academy. Guess she was against him going. Wanted him to stay and work in her daddy’s construction company. He wanted to do something for the world and she got stood up. Guess they met in some bar…the Old Rodeo.” Your mom recalls the story Chucho told her.

“Yeah….” Your nose curls at the name. “It’s a shit bar. Nothing but losers went there.” You remember the bar pretty damn well, but your mother doesn’t know that. “Anyway…. I don’t care about Javier. Tell me how you are doing?” You beg. “How are things with Chucho? Is he treating you right? If he’s not, I’m going to have to talk to him.”

Your mom smiles the type of smile you have when you’re totally in love. She looks giddy. There’s a light in your eyes that you’re kind of jealous of. “He’s amazing. Sure, we have little disagreements, mainly about him doing too much damn work. But he’s so kind and caring. He loves me and we both agreed that our marriage would never be compared to our previous ones. Your dad was the love of my life and Maria was his but…I love him. He makes me happy.” She promises with a girlish giggle.

“That’s all that matters.” You murmur softly. Despite your feelings about his son, Chucho is a good man and your mother deserves to be happy after so much time. You had told her that she couldn’t be a widow forever, she lost your father way too young to spend the rest of her life alone. “I hope I can find someone who treats me that way one day.” You frown slightly, remembering the last girlish crush you had and how those hopes and daydreams had been crushed. Shaking yourself out of it, you shrug. “What all do we need to get? Are you having a New Year’s party this year?” Your entire childhood, your parents had thrown amazing New Year’s parties, rivaled by none in your opinion.

Your mom smiles, “yeah. Chucho and I decided to continue the tradition. His nephew Danny is gonna bring a tent over to set up in the back and my friend Ellen is going to cater. I’m getting too old to do the food all by myself. Plenty of booze and food and one of the local kids is going to DJ.” Your mom says, knowing this year will be the best yet. “For now, we need to get a ham, potatoes, all the usual. Oh and a dessert or two. I was thinking pie.” She says and glances around, “where did Javier go?” She asks and the man in question appears with a six pack of beer and a pack of condoms. “The essentials.” He smirks at you and you scoff.

“I do not want to hear the pathetic faked moans of whatever floozy you bring home.” You point at him. “I swear to God, Javier, if you wake me up, I’ll kill you.” You promise hotly. You can’t even imagine having sex at your mom and Chucho’s house, just a respectful thing. Granted, you hadn’t had sex in a long time, a really long time, but still. Javi smirks and you roll your eyes. “So is the beer for the girls to get drunk enough to want to have sex with you?”

Javier chuckles and shakes his head, “it’s for refreshment after they lose their voice from moaning too much.” He’s messing with you. Like he’d bring a woman back to the house with you next door and his dad and your mom down the hall. Absolutely not. He chuckles when you wrinkle your nose and he leans in closer while your mom inspects the vegetables. “You just wish it was you in my bed.” He taunts you, wanting to wind you up even more.

You cut your eyes over at him and sneer. “In your fuckin’ dreams, Peña.” You huff. “I wouldn’t be in your bed if you paid me. And I heard there was quite a bit of payment in Colombia.” You smirk. “Expensing out getting your dick wet.”

Javier narrows his eyes, “saved lives. Took down Escobar. That’s all that matters in the end.” He hisses, still sensitive about getting sent back before he could be the one to slap the cuffs on the bastard. “Besides, I doubt you’ve had anyone come near you with that sour face.” He spits, getting defensive.

It cuts deeper than you imagined and you hate how he can still get to you after everything. “At least I can say that anyone who fucked me did it because they wanted to. I didn’t pay and I don’t give a shit what you think of me. Your opinion means shit.”

Javier growls under his breath just as your mom comes over with the chips. “Everything okay?” She asks and Javier grins, “just peachy.” He says to her and she frowns slightly. 

“I’m gonna go get some things.” Javier says, stalking off and away from you before he says something else.

“Are you two fighting again?” Your mom asks, exasperated by the angry tension between the two of you. 

“Nope.” You shake your head and turn to see someone turning onto the aisle and you freeze. A flashback to years ago running through your mind. A petite blonde rushing up to Javier and jumping into his arms with a squeal and an enthusiastic kiss. Your stomach knots up and you grab your purse. “I - I need to get some air.” You manage to choke out before you turn and run away. Not wanting to see the woman Javi had thrown you over for.

“Lorraine?” Javi chokes a little at seeing his ex. Sure he’d seen her at Danny’s wedding but that was a few years ago. 

“Hey Javier.” She says stiffly, still pissed at him for jilting her despite having her family and rich husband. 

“How you been?” He asks, shifting from one foot to the other. 

“Good. You’re with her?” She jerks her chin at your retreating form and Javier sighs, shaking his head. 

“She still hates me.” He reveals and Lorraine scoffs, “she didn’t used to.” 

Javier nods, heart aching a little, “yeah, well, it was good to see you. Happy Holidays.” He says and stalks off to find your mom who had left him to talk.

Out in the parking lot, you bite your lip and lean next to the car. Digging into your purse for a cigarette, you had sworn you were quitting, but you need one. Actually you need a stiff drink but the smoke would have to do. Suddenly thinking about memories better left buried. 

**** 

“So you wanna go out? The Old Rodeo?” The easy smirk in Javi’s face makes your cunt clench. There’s nothing good in that smirk and you love it. “Get something to eat and a lot to drink?” He winks outrageously and does this little move with his thumb around his mouth to bring your eyes to them. Not that you don’t often think about kissing him. “See what happens? I’m crazy for not asking you sooner.” 

It’s what you’ve always wanted to hear and you know you are putty in his hand. You always have been, but friends are what you’ve been until this moment. “Of course we can.” You hum, grinning. “I’ll find out what drives the women crazy about the area Lothario.”

Javier remembers that night. The night he was supposed to meet you. He was ready to tell you how he felt, see what happened between you, but you hadn’t shown up. Lorraine approached him that day, his on again off again girlfriend that was off on the day he asked you out but seeing her that afternoon, she wanted to give it another chance and he went with what was comfortable and known after you had blown him off. He was terrified to fuck up your friendship and he was going to tell you that. To explain it, but you didn’t answer your phone and you never let him explain what happened. He regrets that day, regrets going back to Lorraine who ultimately found out on their wedding day why Javier was supposed to meet you. He couldn't marry her. Not when he was in love with you back then. You hate him now and he pretends to hate you.

By the time your mother comes out, you’ve crushed your cigarette out and spritzed yourself with some Sweet Pea body spray. Even though you’re a grown ass woman, your mother doesn’t know that you used to smoke and when she pushes the buggy closer, you shove a stick of gum in your mouth. “Please tell me that you didn’t pay for his beer and rubbers?” You ask your mom, taking the keys from her and opening the trunk.

Your mom shakes her head, “that’s all he got, sweetheart.” She explains just as Javier comes out of the grocery store and over to the car. 

“Thanks for getting those things.” Javier says to your mom and kisses her cheek before he starts to load the car.

Huffing, you roll your eyes and barely resist the urge to slam the trunk closed on his hands. Instead of commenting, you place the eggs and the bread on top and take the cart. “I’ll return it.” You mutter, more for your mother than Javi. You just know he would be the type to not return it to the cart corral.

Javier gets in the car, the front seat again, and you huff as you get in behind him. He turns to look at you as your mom starts to drive out of the parking lot. “Do you smell smoke?” He asks your mom, sniffing, and he leans closer to you, “did you just smoke?”

You jerk back, scowling at him and wishing to hell you had never met Javier Peña. “No! What is wrong with you? Stop sniffing me, you pervert.” You hiss, shooting him a deadly glare. “Just because you smell like the inside of an ashtray doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

Javier chuckles and shakes his head, “whatever, Chiquita. You tell yourself what you wanna believe.” He scoffs and then he smirks, “besides, you know that smoking is bad for you. Don’t want anything bad to happen to my step sister.” He feigns concern, knowing he will rile you up.

“I am not your step sister.” You hiss, even though you know that you technically are. “Well, honey….” Your mom interrupts and you sigh. 

“Mom, please. The last thing I want is to be associated with this asshole, let alone related to him. Just let me pretend. Chucho is amazing, but I don’t know how he turned out like he did.” You huff, pointing at Javier. 

Javier is a little hurt by your jab. His dad is a great man, one he could only aspire to be. His unwavering loyalty and dedication is something that he could wish for but fall short every time. “Whatever. Your mom clearly didn’t raise you to be like her. She’s not a bitch.” He hits back, crossing his arms as he stares out of the window.

You hiss out an angry breath and try not to let him get to you. It hurts, but you’ve been a bitch, being a bitch is better than letting him hurt you. “Okay you two.” Your mom sighs, driving you all home. “Please just get along for the holidays?” She begs. 

“Fine.” You decide. “I have no problem ignoring him for the holiday.”

Javier snorts, shaking his head but not saying anything else. He doesn’t understand why you hate him so much. He hasn’t done anything to you. He has no idea why you started hating him when he got with Lorraine. You hadn’t even shown up for your date that night. You were his best friend once.

The rest of the trip is spent in silence and you wonder how the hell you can cut this trip short and get out of spending any more time with Javier than you have to. When you get to the house, you jump out and start immediately unloading the groceries, shoving Javi's bags into his hands. "Got the rest, go do whatever."

Javier frowns but doesn’t argue. He’s sick of arguing. He takes his things into the house and puts the beers in the fridge before taking the condoms to his room. He feels like a teenager again. Awkward and unsure. You make him feel like that. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and he doesn’t know what to do about spending those days with his family. He decides to avoid it for as long as he can so he grabs the keys to his truck and decides to go for a drink at the dive bar he used to frequent before he left Laredo.

You’re unloading the groceries when you hear the truck start up and you sigh in relief. “Thank God.” You murmur, even though your stomach twists in guilt. Feeling like you’ve run Javi off. 

“What happened between you two?” Your mother demands but you just shake your head. 

“Mom, please, I don’t want to talk about it.” You beg. “I just- I don’t like him, okay? End of story.”

Your mom sighs but nods, “just - just try to make the best of it, okay sweetheart? It’s Christmas.” She says and you nod, unable to agree verbally. 

**** 

Javier returns to the ranch around 2am. He had met a girl - someone new in town - and Javier flirts but it doesn’t feel right. He frowns when she invites him back to her place and usually he’d say yes but for some reason, he can’t do it. Instead, he heads home and gets into bed without disturbing anyone.

You're sitting on the porch when the truck comes creeping up the drive with the lights off. Sneaking in. You snort to yourself when Javi doesn’t even see you on the porch when he slips into the house. Making you wonder where he had spent the night. Reminding yourself that you shouldn’t care. When you slip back in the house, you hear Javi starting to snore in his bedroom and you huff to yourself. With Chucho’s snoring in the bedroom he shares with your mom, it’s pretty apparent that snoring runs in the family. You climb back into your bed, wondering if you just need to go home, let them enjoy the holiday without you.

The next morning, Javier comes in to find your mom cooking breakfast, a groan escaping his lips when she puts a cup of coffee in his hand. “You are too good to me.” He tells her with a grin and a wink, “thanks.” He sits down at the table and reaches for the pack of smokes he left there.

When you shuffle into the kitchen, you narrow your eyes at the cigarette that is in Javier's hand. Craving it and finding it hypocritical that the bastard would bust your balls about smoking and he is puffing on one right in front of your mother and his dad. "Morning." You huff, moving over to your mom to give her a kiss and to take the coffee mug that she is holding out for you. "Thank you."

Javier watches you until his Pa gets his attention. “Let’s get the animals all fed early today so we aren’t dealing with them tonight or tomorrow morning.” Javier nods, knowing that his dad will want to relax for Christmas Eve dinner and tomorrow. “Sure thing, Pa.”

Sighing softly in relief, you relax when you realize that Javier won't be hovering all day. "Mom, I'll help you get everything ready, sound good?" you ask after taking a sip of the hot brew. "You shouldn't have to do all the cooking."

Your mom nods, “thank you, darling. Don’t be silly about spending the whole day helping me. I want you to enjoy the holiday since you’re home. I’m so glad to have you home.” She says and reaches for you to wrap her arms around you. “I love you.” She murmurs, getting a little emotional and Javier looks away, feeling like he’s invading when you hug your mom back.

"I love you too." You murmur softly, squeezing her tight. "I'll enjoy my holiday as long as I'm with you." You promise. "I'll help you and then I'll go do some last minute shopping."

Your mom nods, smiling and grateful to have you here. She gestures to the table, “sit down. Breakfast is nearly ready.” 

You sigh and then choke as you sit down next to Javier who is still smoking while he reads a section of the paper. “You know those things will kill you.” You remind him despite your hypocrisy. 

“Not if you do first, baby.” He winks at you and takes another drag.

"Don't tempt me." You grumble under your breath and roll your eyes as you fix your plate. You'll eat and then concentrate on your coffee.

Javier grabs a piece of toast and bites into it obnoxiously, wanting to see you get annoyed with him. You may hate him but he loves to see you riled up. At least it’s emotion.

You remember the promise you made to yourself, rolling your eyes instead of commenting and taking a sip of your coffee. "Thanks for breakfast, mom. You are amazing."

Your mom grins, pleased at the praise and Javier nods, “you are a great cook. My dad and I struggled for years after my mom died to make something half edible. We even burned the toast.” He confesses and takes another bite of the toast.

You don't make a snide comment, knowing the loss of his mother was hard for Javi, and for Chucho. It would be beyond disgusting to insult that. You set your coffee down and pick up your fork to take a bite of the eggs.

Javier digs into the rest of breakfast, groaning at the food, and he realizes he hasn’t been this hungry in a long time. He swallows down each gulp like a man starved and he pushes the plate back after he finishes to rub his stomach. He didn’t eat much in Colombia, running on booze and coffee and cigarettes.

You don't comment on the fact that Javi wolfed down his food, not even looking over at him as you eat your own meal. "So I was thinking," you start. "Why don't I cook dinner, since you'll be busy working on Christmas dinner?" You offer.

Your mom shakes her head, “oh baby. No. No. I can’t do that. Honey, I need you to relax too. It’s your first holiday home in forever. Let me make it special for you.” She offers and Javier shakes his head, “I don’t mind helping.”

You snort and cut your gaze over to him. "What could you do?" You ask. "You just said that you burned toast. Why the hell would we want burnt food?"

“I can cut shit up.” He offers, “boil water. I don’t know. It’s a lot of work to do alone. I can be ordered around like a good boy.” He promises with a smirk, picking up his coffee cup.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. "I doubt you've ever been a good boy." You huff. "No, I'm good. I don't think I want you around sharp knives. I might get confused and cut you."

Javier snorts, “more like stab me.” He says and you raise your eyebrows, “you said it.” 

Your mom shakes her head, “I’ll cook. You kids just focus on being nice to each other.” 

Chucho nods, “be nice, mijo.” He orders and Javier can’t argue with his father.

You smirk at Javi after his father tells him to be nice, barely resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at him. "I told you mom, I'll be civil. That's the best I can offer."

Javier rolls his eyes and stands up, putting his plate in the sink along with his coffee cup and he stalks out of the room to get ready for a day on the ranch helping his dad have everything sorted so he can enjoy Christmas without worrying about the animals or the ranch.

It's sweet, watching Chucho lean over your mom and give her a kiss. Smiling softly and patting her cheek when he tells him that he will be back later. It's the kind of relationship that you had always wished for yourself but it wasn't to be.

It’s late afternoon and you’re in the kitchen helping your mom prepare dinner when Javi comes in. It’s a cold day for Texas but Javi has been fixing the mower when he spilled oil on his shirt. He pulls it off and leaves it on the porch in a pile, deciding to come inside shirtless so he can wash his hands.

Your mom is in her bedroom, stripping her sheets to wash and you are in the kitchen, prepping food. The radio is on, playing the top 10 countdown and you are singing along to the music. Dancing around as you mix the cookie dough up. Distracted to the point where you don't hear the back door open.

Javier stops in the kitchen, shirtless, and he grins as you shake your hips and sings to the music. “I didn’t know you could dance so well, Chiquita.” He compliments you with a chuckle and he crosses his arms, oily hands forgotten.

Yelping in surprise, you almost drop the bowl. "Shit!" You slam the bowl down and glare at Javi as he grins at you. "What the fuck are you doing? Sneaking up on me?"

“I came in to wash my hands. Got covered in oil and came in to see you dancing. I ain’t ever seen you dance like that before, Chiquita.” He smirks and hums, “actually…a few times back when we - well, when you didn’t hate me.”

You stiffen when he has the audacity to bring up that time. "Yeah, well there's a lot you haven't seen, Peña." You huff, reaching over and slapping off the radio. "And you won't see. So just wash your hands and get on with what you were doing."

He knows you’re mad at him and he kinda likes it. He walks over to sink, grabbing the soap to wash off his hands and you’re next to him, and he can smell your perfume. He leans in closer unconsciously drawn to you. His body pressing against you without thought.

"What the fuck are you doing?" It takes you a split second before you react to him leaning into you. Hating how your pulse jumps and your entire body seems to tighten in anticipation.  You step back and look at him in disgust. "I'm not one of your fucking conquests. Don't touch me."

Javier pulls back instantly, the spell he was under is broken and he snarls at you, curling his upper lip. “You should be so lucky. My dick would get fucking bitten off by you.” He hisses and stalks into his bedroom to grab another shirt and hide his embarrassment. He doesn’t understand why you hate him so much. Especially not when he - when he was - well, it doesn’t matter now.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, shaking your head. "Fucking forget about him." You tell yourself quietly. "He just is a piece of shit who would break your heart again."

Javier sighs and pulls a clean shirt on before he heads back out to continue helping his dad. He is anxious about dinner later. Wondering if you’re gonna behave or if he’s gonna end up fighting with you. “Why do you fight with her?” Chucho asks his son as they finish up work. 

“I- I fight with her because - well, it’s complicated. She hates me.” Javier reveals and Chucho shakes his head, “she doesn’t. I don’t see hate in her eyes. I see hurt. You need to talk to her, figure out what happened.”

When your mom comes back into the kitchen, you plaster a smile on your face and quickly escape. Taking your rental car and leaving the ranch to drive into town. Happy to escape and rolling the window down to smoke a cigarette as you drive. Blowing the smoke out of the car and sighing to yourself. Now that Javi is here, you will be obligated to get him something. So you have to find a gift for the asshole.

Javier decides to take his dad’s advice, he will talk to you and see what the fuck happened to make you hate him. He showers when he comes back inside and curses as he struggles to wrap the presents he bought. Including the necklace he got you when he was in Colombia. He wasn’t sure when he’d see you but it was made for you and he had to buy it.

Taking your time shopping, you meander in and out of shops, finally deciding on a gift for Javier. Really, two. One that spells out how you feel and another that your mother would approve of. You might be taking more time than normal so you didn't have to go back to the ranch just yet. Deciding to have the gifts you had brought for Chucho and your mom, along with the newly bought gifts for Javier wrapped at the little booth that is set up on the square. The beautiful wrapping is far superior than your own.

Javier places his haphazardly wrapped presents under the tree, shaking his head at how bad a job he did but he hopes everyone likes the presents he got. He wipes his hands on his jeans and grabs a beer, sitting down with his pa on the sofa just as you come back into the house. “Jesus, you go shopping in Dallas? You’ve been gone so long.” Javier comments.

You barely resist the urge to make a snarky comment and just shrug. “Got caught up.” You answer, feeling a little resentful that he believes you should answer to him. You are nothing to each other and hopefully won’t see each other again for years after the New Year’s party. Bringing the presents over, you place them under the tree and disappear down the hall to your bedroom to put your purse up.

Chucho looks over at Javier who sighs and stands up, following you down the hall and he knocks on the door. “Mom. I-” He doesn’t wait for you to say ‘come in’ when he enters and your eyes widen when he shuts the door behind him. “Javi. What the fuck-” 

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “Please, Chiquita. I need to know what the fuck it is I’ve done that makes you hate me so much.”

“I-“ your mouth drops open in surprise and you can’t believe this asshole doesn’t even remember. “I’m sure it’ll come to you if you think really hard on it. Now, I’d like you to leave my room.” You tell him, having no interest in getting into things with him. He had made his choice and you had moved on.

He frowns, “you seriously are a fucking bitch. Why can’t you just be fucking upfront instead of messing with me as much as possible.” He growls, “I’m over your little games. Fuck you.” He hisses before he leaves your room, slamming the door behind him. He storms outside, grabbing his cigarettes and he lights one as soon as he’s outside, trying to calm himself down.

In your room, you hate how his words affect you. Sinking down onto the bed, you try to stop yourself from crying. Thinking that you had cried yourself dry years ago and hating that Javier Peña still has that power over you. Wiping your eyes, you pick up your bag off the floor and toss it on the bed, ready to repack and leave.

He isn’t sure how long he stays outside, wandering the property, and he eventually looks up at the stars twinkling in the sky. “Mama. I- I don’t know what to do. She - she’s still so fucking gorgeous and I have no clue why she stopped talking to me. Seeing her again…I’m so confused. What do I do?” He asks the stars, wishing his mom was here to guide him.

Your bags packed, you sneak them outside and into the rental car. Unsure of why you are hanging around, but maybe it’s just to concede. Tell Javier that he’s won and you won’t be back around anymore. You’ll make it up to your mom, you’ll fly her out to spend a few weeks with you on your own turf. Your own cigarette is in hand for a pre-trip smoke as you spy a lone figure out by the barns and you decide to walk down there.

Javier caresses the horse as he stands in the barn, deciding to take more time to himself before he heads back inside for a “family dinner.” He hears a noise and turns to see you standing there, cigarette in hand. “You drop that, we all go up in flames.” He warns you, turning back to the horse.

“I’m not stupid enough to drop a cigarette around all the hay.” You snort, annoyed that he can’t help but be a condescending prick. “Came to tell you I’m leaving.” You take another drag off the cigarette before you smother the cherry on a wooden post until it’s out. “So you don’t have to worry about me being a bitch anymore. You win. I’ll fly my mom out to spend time with her during the year.” You hate looking at him, hate that you’ll remember the shock on his face but you make yourself turn around and start walking away. “Oh.” You toss over your shoulder. “Fuck you too, Peña.”

He hisses, rushing to follow you and he grabs your shoulder. “Fuck me? Fuck you. You’re gonna leave your mom on Christmas when you haven’t seen her in years. For what? Because of me? I’ll go. I’ll fucking leave then.” He growls at you and he spins you around to face him. “You can’t fucking leave.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what I can and can’t do!” You push him away, horrified that angry tears have sprang up in your eyes. “I don’t want to be here with you! I don’t want to fucking see you! Ever!” You bite your lip and wipe your tears. “You ruined Christmas, not me. Just like you ruin everything.”

“I don’t even know what I did. I have no fucking clue why you hate me. Can you at least tell me what I did before you crucify me?” He pleads, hunching over in frustration as you stand in the entrance to the barn.

You stare at him for a second and then you laugh. Deep and from your belly, making you double over as the tears of frustrated mirth roll down your cheeks. “Of course you don't remember!” You scoff. “Why the fuck would you remember shattering my heart? Asking me out on a fucking date and making me believe that things between us were finally going to change.” You stop laughing and shoot him a withering look, even with the tear streaks on your skin. “Was it on purpose? Making out with Lorraine when I showed up for our date? To sink the knife in and drive the message home that I wasn’t good enough for you? I know it was a stupid, pathetic crush, I was hopelessly in love with you.” You snort. “You didn’t have to be cruel.”

“You thought- fuck. I- you don’t even know what I was thinking when I asked you to the bar, do you? And when I got there, Lorraine was there and she was trying to win me back. She - she pounced on me when I- fuck. She must’ve seen you walk in.” He rambles, “she set it up and I- shit. You saw - oh shit.” He chokes, realizing how much Lorraine messed up his life. She knew he was planning to meet you and that he - “Fuck!” He yells at the sky, frustrated and so fucking angry. The miscommunication and the deception make his blood boil. “Fuck you!” He shouts again at the sky, hoping Lorraine hears him. “Fuck me? Fuck you!” You growl, thinking he is talking to you. 

“Fuck you!” He hisses back, furious at the universe. “Fuck you, Chiquita. Fuck-” He surges forward to cup your cheeks, pressing his lips to yours.

You huff against his lips, pulling back and drawing your hand back to slap him. The crack of the hit echoes around the pen. “Fuck you!” You hiss, but Javi just growls your name and grabs you by the back of the neck to plaster his lips against yours again. Making you melt as you stop resisting and kiss him back with just as much angry passion as he is kissing you.

He groans into your mouth, guiding you backwards into the barn and towards the fresh pile of hay, and he lowers you down onto it. He hovers over you, his lips kissing your jaw. “Tell me to stop.” He begs, reaching down to grab your thigh to hitch it over his hip. “Tell me to fucking stop.” He pleads, needing you to tell him you don’t want this before he makes you moan.

You should. You should push him away and slap him again, but you don’t. Too busy sinking your fingers into his hair and tugging on it hard enough to make him hiss. One night. You’ll take this one night with him and then you’ll leave. “Don’t stop.” You whimper, wanting to have him just once.

He groans in relief when you don’t push him away. His hand slides along your thigh to slip under the dress you put on for Christmas Eve dinner. His fingers pressing against your clit through the cotton and he kisses down your neck until he’s nipping at the swell of your breast. “Always been so fucking beautiful.” He mutters into your skin as his fingers slide under the elastic of your panties so he can rub your clit properly.

You huff, still not understanding everything that happened so many years ago, but his fingers are distracting. “Javi.” You moan softly, wishing you could kiss him, bite him as he rubs your clit and his nose pushes down the top of your dress to expose your tits. “Please.”

He can’t deny you anything when you whimper like that. He mouths at your nipple, biting down as you tug on his hair, and he pushes two fingers inside of you. “Waited so fucking long to hear those sweet moans. Wanna hear you cum. Wanna feel your pussy squeeze me, hermosa.” He murmurs into your ear as he presses his thumb into your clit.

Moaning, you close your eyes and absorb the stretch of his fingers. It’s so good. So filling. There’s a chance - a very large one - that this is some kind of notch in his belt. That he wants to touch you just so he can hold it over your head, but you don’t care. You just want to be touched. To have him like this. “Fuck, Javi- please.”

He hisses when your walls grip his fingers, showing him how tight you could get around his cock, and he groans your name. “I got you, hermosa.” He promises, “I got you baby.” He rubs your clit a little faster with his thumb, desperately needing you to cum before he fills you with his cock.

You whine, turning your head and pressing your lips together to muffle the sounds. The last thing you want is for your mom and Chucho to hear you and come outside. Closing your eyes, you love the little encouraging grunts he gives as he fingers you until you’re clenching down around his fingers and gasping out his name.

Javier groans when you soak his fingers and he works you through it. “That’s it. Such a good girl.” He murmurs, withdrawing his fingers after you start to whine and he shoves them in his mouth, wanting to taste you. “Baby. Shit. Tell me I can fuck you. Or tell me to stop.” He pleads as he squeezes his cock through his jeans.

Your dress is hiked up and your tits pulled out. Reaching for the band of your panties, you lift your hips to push them down. “Take your fucking pants off, Peña.” You growl, tossing the soaked material to the side and reaching for his belt.

He groans when you pull his hard cock out. He's throbbing and leaking pre-cum. The front of his jeans are dark from it, and he bats your hand away when you start to pump him. "Gonna fuck you." He promises, shuffling close until he's lined up and he starts to slowly push inside of you.

Your legs brace on either side of his hips and your nails curl into the fabric of his plaid shirt. He’s thick and stretches you out. “Fuck, Javi.” You whine, tilting your head up to kiss along his jaw. “Fuck.”

He pants, your cunt is gripping him like a vice, and he struggles to control himself. He takes a deep breath and nudges his nose against yours. He pushes deep, throbbing inside of you, and he slowly pulls out of you then pushes back in a little faster. "Mierda." He pants, starting to fuck you properly.

You had always wondered if Javi was cocky because he was that good or if it was a false sense of bravado but you quickly find out. The short, deep thrusts of his cock seem to push against the spongy, sensitive parts of you perfectly. “Shit is right.” You moan, wrapping your legs around him as he rocks into you. Regardless of how many women he’s fucked, you’re in his arms right now. “God, Javi, more.”

He pants, his cock twitching inside of you, and he grabs your thigh, lifting it higher so he can press deeper inside of you. “So fucking good, baby. Always thought you would be. Always imagined you’d blow my mind.” He rambles as he rocks into you over and over.

Closing your eyes, you resist the urge to spit at him that he could have found out years ago. Instead, you just tighten your muscles around him and moan quietly. You don’t want to ruin this or fight with him when he’s inside you, still unsure of what the fuck happened but you have your suspicions. “Fuck.”

He rocks into you, kissing along your neck, and he can’t resist biting along your skin. He’s always been a biter and he feels a little satisfied to bite your neck and mark you. His thrusts get sloppily, harder, as he gets closer but he needs you to cum first. Usually, he’d last longer but this is you and the fire is still blazing through his veins.

You feel his entire body tensing and moan softly. Stroking his back under his shirt and feeling the muscles move. “So good, fuck, you’re so good.” You praise softly, overwhelmed by how deep he plunges into you.

“Cum for me, hermosa.” He orders, “cum, Chiquita.” He demands, reaching between you to rub your clit in hopes that you’ll fall apart just before he does.

You whimper at the additional stimulation, body tensing under his. Rocking your hips up to his hand until you are falling apart with a choked cry.

“That’s it baby. Fuck. Oh shit. Oh.” He grunts as he thrusts three more times before he’s pulling out to cum on your thigh and over the hay. “Jesus.” He hisses, unable to believe he couldn’t even hold off until he could jerk himself.

You don’t know if you should be grateful or insulted that he pulled out to cum. You’re on birth control but he doesn’t know that. You decide that you just won’t address it. “Well….that just happened.” You hum, leaning back into the hay to catch your breath.

Javier chuckles, “yeah. A bit overdue.” He confesses and you freeze under him. 

“It’s getting late and I- we need to-” You rush out as you push on his chest and he frowns as he shifts off of you, working fast to tuck himself back into his pants.

“Hermosa-“ Javi starts and you grab your panties and hurry to put them back on after using some hay to wipe the cum off your skin. 

“We should get back.” You interrupt. “Mom worked hard on dinner.” You are confused and need time to process what just happened. “Don’t come in right behind me.” You tell him before you rush towards the house.

Javier stares at the barn door you rushed out of. His stomach twisting, and he rubs his cheek, "shit." He hisses, unsure of what happens next. He gave in. He gave in to the fucking feelings and desires he has had for years. He should've stayed away, not hurt you anymore than he has. "Fuck." He growls as he stands and the horses look over at him. "Don't look at me like that, asshole." He growls at the horse before he corrects his clothes and makes his way back to the house.

You slip into the house and down the hall to the bathroom. Staring at your reflection in the mirror and wondering what the fuck you have done. You crossed a line with Javier and now you are in unfamiliar water. Huffing before you grab a rag and start cleaning yourself up better so you don’t smell like cum.

Javier slips back into the living room, grabbing the beer his dad offers him and he sits down and stares at the empty hall. “Huh?” He grunts at his dad who asks him a question. 

“I asked if you got all the animals fed and watered.” Chucho repeats with a suspicious frown and Javi nods. 

“Yeah. I did. I- they are good.” He says half minded as he sips the beer and wonders what the fuck you’re thinking.

You probably spend more time in the bathroom than you should, checking your reflection to make sure no one can tell what you’ve been up to. Finally turning off the light and slipping out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine.

Javier watches you rush into the kitchen and Chucho notices. “You need to talk to her, mijo. Tell her what happened.” He urges and Javier shakes his head, “she wouldn’t believe me anyway.” Your mom calls for everyone to get around the table, it’s time for dinner. When Javier comes to the table, you’re downing the glass of wine in your hand, and he sighs when he takes a seat opposite you.

Your eyes slide over to him and you lower the glass as you swallow the last of the wine down. “What?” You ask, wondering why he is sighing. He got what he wanted, and you even stayed. 

“Oh sweetie, you want more?” Your mother asks and you nod. 

“Please?” You ask desperately. “I need it.”

Javi frowns as you take a gulp of your now full glass of wine. Your mom wants to say grace and Javier joins his hand with yours. Opening one eye to see what you’re doing, he rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, silently relaying he wants to talk later.

You shiver and when the prayer is over, you quickly pull your hand out of Javi’s. “Food looks amazing, mom.” You gush. “You did a fantastic job.”

Javier nods, "it's really good, ma'am." He says and your mom rolls her eyes, "how many times I gotta tell you to not call me that?" She reminds him and he chuckles, "sorry ma'am." 

He winks at her and she giggles, making Chucho snort, "stop flirting with my wife, boy." He teases his son who rolls his eyes, "unless you're trying to make good with my step daughter." Chucho says and Javier chokes on his food.

You laugh, a little butter and shake your head. “Hell no.” You assure Chucho. “You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t think he’s ever even looked at me twice.” You flash the older man a smile and a small shrug.

Javier frowns, glancing across the room to the tree where his present for you is. He wonders if you’ll like it or if you’re going to reject it…and him. He downs the rest of his beer and digs back in to his food, anxious and not liking the way you dismissed him so easily.

You eat quietly, ignoring the way that your mother and Chucho exchange pointed looks. Reminding yourself that you just need to survive the holiday and then you’ll never see or hear from Javier again. “So what are your plans?” Your mom asks and you shrug. 

“Work.” You answer quietly. “Always work.”

Javier chimes in, “you can’t always work. Life has to fit in sometimes. A personal life.” He knows he’s a hypocrite saying that when his own world has revolved around work for so long. “Gotta have a balance.” He’s realized that now he’s older.

“One day.” You huff. “I’ll find a life when I get my promotion.” You have told yourself that for countless milestones but you never do. You enjoy your relatively drama free personal life. 

“Honey…..you need to start dating.” Your mom puts in and you roll your eyes. “No thanks. I’m good.”

Javier snorts, “more like she’s scared of what could happen if she actually cared for someone.” He says and Chucho nudges his leg under the table in a warning.

Your eyes slide towards Javier and narrow. “Tried that once. He was a pig.” You hiss. “Decided that it wasn’t worth my time. Even though I don’t fuck for sport, I find plenty of companionship when I want it.” Your mom hisses your name, but you don’t back down from staring at the man who drives you insane.

Javier clenches his jaw at your thinly veiled insult towards him. He didn’t get a chance to explain what happened. He just wants a chance to tell you what went down that night. “Yeah. I’m sure you do.” Javier scoffs, “even in the middle of nowhere.”

Smirking, you shrug. “Mistakes happen, right?” You say smugly. You know now that you were just a notch in his belt. You can leave without any regrets. “Quickly forgotten.”

He shakes his head and scoffs, picking up another beer he had on the table to sip. "I don't forget things as easily. If ever." He says, letting himself stare at you and wanting to see you become uncomfortable under his gaze.

The table becomes a battleground, each one of you staring at the other. Unwilling to back down, you glare at Javi, wondering why you ever had that moment of insanity and let him touch you.

The dessert is finally served and Chucho and your mom are relieved. "Maybe we can have a drink on the porch?" Your mom suggests, wanting to get some air after dessert is finished. 

Chucho nods, "you kids can do the washing up." He says, following your mom after grabbing the bottle of wine, to follow her out on the porch.

Instead of speaking, you just start collecting the dirty dishes and your chair scrapes back from the table. Quickly moving to the sink to start some dish water to wash dishes. The quicker that you clean up, the quicker that you can escape Javier.

Javier huffs when you try to clean up as quickly as possible to get away from him. You are washing a dish when he places his arms on either side of you, trapping you against the sink. “Why’d you run away?” He asks, meaning tonight, the bar that night, and from town, all in the same heavy question. His nose running along your neck, “why’d you run?”

“You made your choice.” You jerk away from him and concentrate on the dishes. Refusing to melt under his casual seduction. “It wasn’t me. Why would I stick around and watch you play house with her?” You demand. “I’m not that pathetic.”

Javier sighs and rests his hands on the counter. “I didn’t- I was there to meet you. I was gonna have the date with you and she pounced on me. You didn’t see me push her away. I told her I was done with her and then you- you never showed and I thought I had my answer. That you didn’t feel the same way. So I went back to Lorraine, trying to figure out how the fuck to fall out of love with you.” He confesses, “you- you made me - you broke my heart that night.” He admits and knows you won’t believe him.

“Bullshit.” You close your eyes, hands under the water and you take a deep breath to keep from crying. The problem is that you want to believe it, want to believe that he had not intentionally been horrible. “Your hands were on her ass and her tongue was down your throat.” You remind him. “Look, I can’t - it’s not-“ you sigh again. “You fucked me, okay? You got what you wanted. It was pretty good. Wouldn’t mind if it happened again, but I don’t need words anymore. You changed me that night, you broke me.”

He shakes his head, “she put my hands on her ass and shoved her tongue down my throat. She - she forced herself on me and I- I pushed her away seconds later. You didn’t see me push her away. She knew how I- fuck. She knew how I felt about you and she was jealous. That’s why we broke up the first time. She found out about my feelings for you and dumped me. Then she wanted me back. Shit. I love you. I still love you.” He chokes, hating how vulnerable he feels.

Eyes wide, you turn your head and look at him in shock. “You still love me?” You ask in disbelief. “You haven’t seen me in forever and you’ve- you’ve moved on. You knew where I was, you could have come to me, but you got engaged to her.”

“I thought you hated me. You never returned my calls. Wouldn’t answer your door to me. Your mom said you’d left and I- I figured I’d do the right thing after Lorraine told me she was pregnant. She wasn’t. She lied so I’d propose and she railroaded a wedding that ended with me leaving her hanging at the altar. I couldn’t do it. I left that same day to go to the DEA and then all those years in Colombia. I never stopped thinking about you. And seeing you now…made me remember why I love you.” He finishes, unsure and so unused to declarations of love but you need to know the truth.

“Why?” You demand, unwilling to believe it right away yet it sounds like something Lorraine would do. “Why would you love me? I’ve been cold and sarcastic to you. Other than in the barn just before dinner.”

Javier chuckles, “honestly? I loved you back then because you’re funny, you’re kind. You’re my best friend and I fell in love with you without even realizing it and it fucking terrified me but baby, I was a coward then. I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to make a difference. I’m older now, I got that out of my system and I know what I want. I want you. I want to love you. You’re even more gorgeous and fucking sexy when you get mad at me.” He confesses, “but I guess you hate me too much and I get that. I- forget I said anything. Forget what happened in the barn. Let’s just get the holidays over with and you can leave.” He says as he pushes off of the counter to head down the hall to wallow and try to smother his mortification.

You should follow him, but you know that whatever you say right now, Javier will believe that it’s out of pity. Sighing to yourself as you finish up the dishes. Unsure of how to process this, and what you feel. You’ve been angry at him for so long because you were in love with him. Desperately so. Are you still angry because you’re still in love with him? Or the version of him from so many years ago? It’s confusing and frustrating, so when you’re done, you walk down the hall, pausing in front of his door.

Javier hears you outside of his room, and he sits up, glasses perched on his nose as he sets the book down he bought in the airport in hopes of relaxing enough to read something at some point. That hope is short lived and he deflates when he hears you continue down the hall to your room. You hate him. He fucked it up. With a sigh, he takes his glasses off and tosses the book onto the nightstand, deciding to get some sleep instead of letting his mind wander all night long.

The night passes, restlessly tossing and turning. Your sleep is interrupted by dreams of what could have been if you hadn’t run away. Javier as your husband, celebrating Christmas and bringing the baby for Chucho and your mom to spoil. Waking up before the sun rises, you slip out of the bed and into the kitchen to make coffee and sneak a cigarette. You had only brought one pack, but you’re going to smoke all of them before the holiday is over obviously.

Javier groans as he gets up, his back aching more than it used to. Fuck, he’s getting old. He takes a piss and brushes his teeth before heading into the kitchen wearing some boxers he grabbed off of the floor. It doesn’t seem like anyone is up yet until he sees the coffee pot. Pouring himself a cup, he heads onto the porch to find you smoking. “Those things will kill you.” He says, shivering at the cool air and taking a sip of his coffee.

“Hello pot.” You blow out the smoke and look at the cigarette. “I’m kettle. Didn’t you smoke a cigarette in the car with my mom? Besides, I hadn’t smoked in nearly a month before I came here.”

Javier snorts, “nice to meet you kettle.” He chuckles softly, taking another sip of his coffee and he walks over to you, plucking the cigarette out of your hand so he can take a drag, his eyes fixed on yours.

You huff slightly but you don’t glare at him. Taking a sip of your coffee and then looking out over the ranch. “Your dad is good for my mother.” You admit quietly. “She gushes when she talks about him and never thought that she would ever find someone to make her happy after dad died.”

Javier nods, “I never thought my dad would find someone after my mom died. It was hard…her dying so young of cancer and he - he struggled. We both did. I think that’s why I wanted to get out of Laredo as soon as possible when I had the chance. All those years away…I didn’t achieve anything really. Didn’t change the world. Those bastards are still peddling drugs across the border and I- I missed out on an opportunity to try and get the woman I love to be mine.” He says as he takes another drag.

“From what everyone has said, you managed to find plenty of companionship in Colombia.” You hadn’t wanted to talk about Javier, but your mom had kept you informed about his doings. “If you had convinced her, you couldn’t have done that. Not without losing your dick.”

“I - I was getting information. Men like to blabber when they are inside a beautiful woman. It got us a lot of intel and those women got to feed their kids. And if I had convinced her, I wouldn’t have gone. And I wouldn’t have had that kind of companionship. Life happens and here we are. Together. On this porch. It’s Christmas. Merry Christmas baby.” He murmurs, slowly leaning towards you. He takes a second to let you lean back before kissing your cheek.

“Merry Christmas.” You murmur, closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips against your cheek. “You have gone. I wouldn’t have wanted you to give up on your ideals and dreams for a relationship. I’m not Lorraine.”

He nods after he pulls back, “you’re not Lorraine. You- you’re you. I should’ve seen you earlier and I’m sorry. About everything. Last night. The night before. All the nights before that. I fucked up, hermosa. Just - just be happy, yeah?” He says as he hands you back the cigarette and heads inside, ready to nurse his heart.

“Javi- stop.” Reaching out, you touch his wrist. “Don’t go. I don’t know- who knows what would have happened?” You ask softly. “Back then. But I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I’m tired of avoiding you.”

Javier stares at you and nods, “let’s start again.” He walks up to you and holds his hand out, “hi. I’m Javier Peña. Ex- DEA agent. Total fuck up and chain smoker.” He declares with a soft smirk.

You chuckle quietly and introduce yourself. “Workaholic, total bitch and secret smoker.” You hum, squeezing his hand gently. “Nice to meet you.”

Javier squeezes your hand back and grins, “pleasure, baby. It’s a pleasure.” He winks and the lights in the kitchen turn on as your mom enters. “You two are out here? It’s so cold. Come inside.” She demands and Javier winks at you again as he lets you walk in ahead of him.

“Merry Christmas, mom.” You swoop in for a hug and she eyes you suspiciously. 

“Please, please behave today.” She begs quietly, making you feel guilty for how rude you’ve been. 

“I will, mom. Javi and I have called a truce.”

Javier nods as he comes over to give your mom a hug and wish her Merry Christmas. “We called a ceasefire for today.” He promises, “we are gonna make today special.” He assures her and she eyes you both cautiously. “I guess we will see.” She hums, “now, you both wanna help me with breakfast?” She asks and you nod.

Making breakfast doesn’t cause any arguments. Javi follows directions surprisingly well and there are moments that you snicker at his dry wit. Once upon a time, you were best friends and if nothing else, you wouldn’t mind having your friend back. Chucho comes in when it’s ready, sleeping in for once and you’re proud of the fact that he’s obviously been away but stayed in bed to rest. “Good morning.” You hum, kissing your stepfather on the cheek. “Feliz Navidad.”

Javier gives his Pa a hug and wishes him merry Christmas. “Breakfast is ready. Let’s sit down and eat and then presents.” Your mom exclaims with excitement, eager to give Chucho her present that she’s thought of since last Christmas.

You bite your lip. Remembering the gift you had picked out for Javier. Hopefully he won’t be too upset since you had bought him something else to replace it. It was a shitty gift, but you were angry when you went shopping. “Sounds great.” You murmur.

The breakfast goes well, civil conversation, and soon you and Javi are quickly washing up while your mom sorts out the gifts from under the tree. “Gift time!” She declares and Javier is anxious about what you think.

You hum and coo when your mother opens the beautiful bracelet that Chucho bought her. “Oh it’s so pretty. You have taste, obviously.” You joke, grinning at him as he puts it on your mother’s wrist.

Chucho grins, happy that your mom is happy and he kisses the back of her hand after securing the bracelet. “It’s so beautiful.” Your mom coos and Chucho winks, “para mi esposa hermosa.” He charms her and she giggles like a schoolgirl. Javier chuckles, pleased to see his dad so happy. Chucho opens his present from your mom. A new shotgun and he is grinning as he examines it. “This is perfect, honey.” He says, knowing his shotgun collection has been a little dated and he needs something new. “This is perfect for out in the fields.” He says, testing the weight of it before he carefully sets it down in the corner. 

“You next.” Your mom says, handing you your presents from her and Chucho and from Javi.

You open the gift from your mother and Chucho, exclaiming happily when they got you a pair of tickets to a concert that you have wanted to go to. “Oh this is wonderful!” You tell them. When it comes to Javi’s gift, you’re surprised when you see the name tag. You hadn’t expected to get anything from him. “You- you didn’t have to get me anything.” You huff

Javier shakes his head slightly, “it’s not much.” He lies even as his stomach twists at the thought of you opening the present. He hopes you don’t hate them. He bites his lip as you take your time unwrapping the small box.

Opening up the small box you gasp in surprise. It’s a necklace. A gorgeous one that has the most beautiful stones in it. “Javi-“ you whisper, wondering where he got this and when. “It’s gorgeous.”

Javier smiles, pleased you like the necklace. “I, uh, I saw it when I was in Colombia and…and I knew it was made for you. I got it. Wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to give it to you.” He admits and rubs his hands together, nervous about you liking the necklace.

“It’s beautiful.” You admit quietly, more moved than you can express for him buying a necklace that he didn’t even know he would give you. “Will you put it on me?” You ask softly.

He nods, standing up and taking the chain from you. His heart is thumping as he delicately fastens the chain around your neck, barely resisting the urge to lean in and kiss your shoulder. “Hermosa.” He murmurs as he steps back from you.

“Thank you.” You murmur quietly, looking into his eyes and hoping that you are showing him how much you appreciate it. “It makes me feel bad now.” You admit as you pick up the parcel you had wrapped for him

He shakes his head and brings it up to his ear, “is it a bomb?” He teases and you giggle, shaking your head. He rips into the paper, exposing the box and he frowns. “Hemorrhoid cream?” He asks, confused and honestly a little hurt.

“Because you’re a ‘pain in my ass’.” You joke lamely and bite your lip before motioning to the other wrapped gift. “I did buy you something else. Your real present.”

Javier sets the cream with an amused snort and he grabs the other present, opening it, and his eyes widen at the expensive leather. His fingers trace the engraving of his initials on the journal and he looks at you. “Thank you. This is - it’s perfect.” He was considering writing down his experiences in Colombia. Something a therapist suggested to him. Perhaps a book in the future.

“I thought it would be appropriate to journal or just write down your thoughts.” You admit, happy that he likes the real gift you had picked out. “The cream was a gag gift, but I wanted you to have something nice.”

He leans in to kiss your cheek, “I love it. The journal. Although…I could use the cream now and then.” He jokes as he leans back. “Thank you.” He murmurs, his eyes flicking down to your lips.

“You’re welcome.” You smile and Chucho clears his throat. “Oh, um, I’m sure you want to open the present from mom and your dad.” You tell him, quickly pulling back and looking at the other present.

Javier nods and moves back to the sofa, sitting down, and he opens the present from his dad and your mom. “Seriously?” His eyes widen and his dad nods, “you need your own place and I don't need a damn teenager in the house.” Chucho teases, “it’s been empty since Jose left a few months ago. It’s yours if you want it.” Chucho offers Javier the keys to the small house that sits on the other side of the ranch, built for the ranch hand by Chucho’s parents. “Thank you.” Javier grins, happy to have his own place and still be able to live on the ranch of his ancestors. 

“Just need you to fill the place up with grandbabies.” Your mom teases and Javier blushes slightly, “gotta find a lady willing to put up with my ass.”

You feel like his eyes are on you and you try to ignore it. “You gave away a house?” You look over at your mom and Chucho, impressed. “So I guess that means Javi is sticking around?”

Javier nods, “I’m staying. I’m done with the DEA. I’m here to help Pa on the ranch. I was gonna look for places in town but this - this is perfect.” He declares, looking back down at the keys in his hand.

You swallow harshly, remembering all the fantasies you had about you and Javi working in the ranch with his dad and one day taking it over. “That’s great. Having your privacy is always a good thing. Saves for embarrassing encounters in the morning.” You joke, wondering if he had meant what he said about still loving you. If he imagined the same life you had before.

Javier stares at you for a long moment, imagining that life with you. Marriage. Children. He never imagined it with anyone else, even Lorraine. He never wanted it with her. When she told him she was pregnant, he was so upset. “Thanks Pa.” Javi leans over to pat his dad on the back before he thanks your mom.

You watch as Javi hugs your mom and gather up the wrapping paper and trash to throw it away. “If you want to go look at the place, I’ll help mom with dinner.” You offer.

“You wanna come look with me? Might need your interior design skills.” He says, tilting his head, and he hopes you don’t decline.

“Oh honey, go with him.” Your mom interjects. “We did most of the hard stuff yesterday. Go get dressed and go see it.” She doesn’t know why the two of you are acting better, but she wants to encourage it as much as possible.

Javier nods, deciding to get dressed too while you do. You meet him outside and he escorts you to the cabin. Tempted to hold your hand but he refrains as you walk in comfortable silence for the first time in years.

The cabin is set apart from the house that his father shares with your mother and the barns. Built about a football field away, the separation is nice. “So you’re back for good?”

“Yeah. I- I didn’t really get a chance to tell you but I’m back.” He rubs his neck, “retired from the DEA and staying in Laredo for good. Pa needs more help now he’s getting older.” He explains, stepping up into the small porch and jangling the keys.

“Well, that’s good.” You tell him. “There once was a time I imagined working here.” You admit. “Living here.” You shake your head at how foolish you were. “Life never turns out the way we expect, huh?”

Javier opens the door and lets you enter first, his dark eyes trained on you as you walk into the house. “You still could if you wanted to.” He murmurs, leaving the door open behind him in case you dash like you always seem to do.

“Oh, I don’t think Chucho and mom would like me staying under their roof for long.” You purposely misunderstand. “It feels like they're still in their honeymoon stage.” You huff a laugh. “I think I heard them last night when I went to the bathroom.”

Javier wrinkles his nose, “I love them but Jesus, didn’t need to know about the old man getting his rocks off.” He shakes his head as if to shake the image. “Baby, I meant you living here…with me.” He says, turning back towards you to see your reaction.

Your eyebrows furrow slightly and you bite your lip. “You would want that?” You ask seriously. “You’ve- you’re a confirmed bachelor, that’s what everyone says.” You had heard the whispers about Javier being home when you were out shopping. “‘Javi will never settle down.’” You quote. “You really want me living with you and holding you back from chasing whatever skirt catches your eye?”

Javier scoffs, turning away from you to look at the kitchen. “I’m tired of it. I don’t want to wake up in another bed I need to sneak out of. I’m sick of not having someone to be my best friend, to share a life with. I’m old. I’m too old to be out there fucking anything with a pulse and I don’t want to. I want you. I want a life with you. I always have. I won’t beg you. If you don’t want that…want me…I get it.” He shrugs, glad he’s turned away from you to hide his hurt expression.

“Why don’t we…..” you reach out and touch his shoulder. “Date?” You suggest. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been in each other’s lives. What if we’re different from what we remember? What if I’m not the idealized version of me that you have fantasized about being with?” It hurts to admit that, but being rejected again would kill you. “So while we’re here together, we get to know each other now and we can figure out if we would want it permanently.”

Javier turns to look at you. His eyes are burning into yours and he doesn’t see any malice, you’re not messing with him. You’re being honest and he can’t ask for more. He nods, “we can do that.” He promises, “I want to try.”

“I- I want to try that too.” You admit softly, eyes cutting away from his in embarrassment and you look around the little ranch house. “This is gorgeous.” It’s got some basic furniture in it, so Javi shouldn’t have to get much to make it a home. “Are you going to move in today?”

“I’m thinking I might do some work on it. Move in tomorrow.” He says, glancing around at the things that need to be updated. “I wouldn’t mind your help. I was serious about that. I’m hopeless at decorating a home. I need help.”

“I doubt that.” You scoff, Javier has always had good taste in everything. “But I’ll help. What do you want to do?”

“Probably going to change the sofa. This thing has been here forever and I have an idea of what’s happened on it.” Javier wrinkles his nose, “Jose used to brag about his conquests.”

You snort and send him a smirk. “So you’ve never fucked on a sofa?” You ask. “Stuck to the bed and piles of hay in a barn?” You tease. “Obviously no shower sex, either. You were shocked to see me in the shower the other day.”

“I’ve fucked on a sofa. In the shower. In the car. Pretty much every surface but hay in the barn was a first with you.” He admits. “I was shocked because - because I didn’t expect to see you there and I - Jesus, it’s all I could think about after. What would’ve happened if I had stepped in there and fucked you against the tiles.”

You’re surprised by his admission and your cunt clenches in reaction. “I probably would have slapped you at the time.” You admit, smirking at the idea of slapping him and then fucking him. “But I would have let you fuck me after. I’m weak like that.”

Javier chuckles, “probably wouldn’t have minded the slap. Made me fucking hard as steel when you did it last night.” He admits, shifting to lean against the kitchen counter.

“Really?” Your brow ticks up in surprise and you smirk at the little secret he’s just revealed. “Javier Peña likes his sex a little rough. Interesting.” You tease. “Slapping is on the table, you obviously like to bite, how do you feel about handcuffs?”

“Depends on who’s wearing them. I ain’t against getting handcuffed to the headboard so you can ride my face.” He admits, “or I could handcuff you and make you scream my name after I suck on your clit all night long.”

It’s so casual, the way he throws out sexual escapades. You shiver slightly and snort. “No man wants to just eat a woman out all night.” You tell him. “Maybe getting their dick sucked, but not using their own mouth.”

“One man.” He says and points to himself. “Always love seeing a woman cum on my tongue. Didn’t get to do that to you last night.” He hums, “and I’m sure that’s not something you’re interested in with me.” He teases, crossing his arms.

You huff and roll your eyes. “You were too busy dreaming of shoving your cock inside me.” You remind him, even though you had been pretty desperate for the same thing. “I don’t know, it would mean using the couch or the bed that’s seen so much action. Since I doubt you’d want your dad to hear.”

Javier chuckles and pushes off of the kitchen counter, stepping towards you. "Hermosa...that couch has seen some action. I'm sure it wouldn't mind a little more before it gets taken to the dump. You wanna sit on my face for Christmas?" He asks, "or we can go back to the house and act like this never happened?"

“Face sitting for Christmas?” You giggle at the idea and bite your lip. “Nothing to hang onto, but I could lay down and you could do what you wanted. Learning the oral skills of your partner is an important part of dating, isn’t it?”

Javier smirks and nods, “exactly. Important to establish early on. Now…strip for me, hermosa. I want to see all of you.” He orders and rubs his lower lip with his thumb, his cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans.

You tut, but you don’t argue with him. He didn’t get to see you last night and in some small way, you want to show him what he’s been missing. Keeping your eyes on his, you reach for the hem of your light sweater and pull it over your head to toss it aside. “You know you’re handsome.” You grumble. “Cocky asshole. Always aware of how many women want to fuck you.”

He snorts and pulls his shirt over his head. “There’s only one woman I want to fuck me right now.” He promises, “might be the last one I fuck.” He declares and watches you, his dark eyes taking in the sight of your tits unhindered by a dress. “Jesus, baby. You’re gorgeous.” He murmurs when you push your leggings down after kicking off your shoes.

“And you’re a kiss ass.” You tease, even though his words make you preen. 

“I’ll kiss your ass.” Javi smirks and you turn around to bend over while you pull your panties down.

He groans softly and wraps his fingers around his cock. “Baby. Go kneel on the sofa.” He orders, wanting to taste you. He’s aching but he desperately wants to make you cum on his tongue.

You sway your hips enticingly as you walk over to the sofa. Kneeling down and bending over the armrest. You look over your shoulder and smirk at Javi. “What are you waiting for?”

He practically growls as he rushes over to the sofa, kneeling on the floor and he nudges your knees apart until he can push his tongue deep into your pussy. Sliding against your clit immediately so he can taste you and God, he fucking loves the tang of your arousal.

“Jav!” Your cry is nearly cut off, strangled by the groan you give. He’s eager and that eagerness translates into a quick tongue and demanding jaw. Working into you and over your clit with a ferocity you haven’t experienced. “Oh God, fuck, Javi.” You whine, grinding back against his tongue.

He groans into you, loving the way you take what you need. His fingers grab your ass, working you open even more and his tongue slides up to push against your puckered hole.

Gasping, your hips rock forward. "Javi!" You squeal, unused to anyone ever sticking anything near that area. "Don't- just my pussy." You warble out.

He doesn’t push you, sliding his tongue down to push it into you with a groan, your arousal hitting his taste buds and he groans your name into your flesh. His hands massage your ass and he’s aching to push inside of you but doesn’t.

You shudder and moan. "I'm sorry-" you gasp out. "No one- I've never-" You know you can't compare with some of the women you know he must have been with. You don't have the experience. You aren't a virgin, but you didn't bed hop as often as you had insinuated. "Oh God."

Javier pulls back, his hands caressing your hips. “Hey. It’s okay. I pushed you and you have limits. I want you to tell me if you don’t like something or aren’t sure. Trust me baby, I want you to enjoy this.”

"I just never have done that." You admit breathlessly. "I don't want you to think I'm a stuck up prude. I just -" You shrug, embarrassed, "was shocked."

“It’s okay.” He promises and leans forward to kiss along your hip and your ass cheek. “It’s okay baby. I want you to enjoy this and I don’t care if you haven’t done anything there. Your pussy is sweet enough for me.” He promises, giving you a moment in case you want him to stop.

You remind yourself that you aren't telling him no, you're telling him not right now. It can be something you talk about when you aren't naked. "Are you going to make me cum?" You ask saucily. "Or was that all talk?"

Javier chuckles, “I am a man of action, hermosa.” He promises and leans in to bite your ass cheek. He kisses the skin until he ducks down to slide his tongue through your folds again. A groan vibrates through you from him and he squeezes your hips as he resumes sucking on your clit.

You moan softly, eyes slipping closed as Javi feasts on your cunt. That's all you can think of, the man behind you feasting as he groans and grunts into your cunt. He sounds like he's enjoying it and you love how wanton it makes you. "So good." You whimper. "Thought your mustache was stupid until right now."

He chuckles into your pussy, wanting to tell you how it’s not stupid but he’s more occupied with making you cum. He sucks on your clit, determined to make you cum on just tongue. He hisses as you reach back to tangle your fingers in his hair and he goes harder, pushing his tongue into you and pressing his nose to your clit.

You don't know how long he has his lips wrapped around your clit and you don't care. Every second is amazing and makes your cunt clench around nothing. If you could just have his cock buried inside you, it would be a dream. "I'm gonna cum." You warn him, stomach knotted in pleasure and his groans vibrating against the bundle of nerves. He sucks harshly and you squeal his name, body spasming in pleasure as you come apart.

He loves hearing you cum. Jesus, his cock is leaking into the fabric of the sofa, and he groans your name, muffled by your folds as he works you through your orgasm.

Javier seems to know exactly when to pull away from you. Slurping up every drop of your pleasure until your limbs are heavy and you are melting into the cushions. "Fuck," you pant. "I - fuck me, baby." You beg breathlessly. "I need to feel you inside me."

He can’t deny you or himself. He shifts to kneel on the sofa behind you, pumping himself a couple of times until he’s notching himself at your entrance and pushing into you with a groan. “Fuck.” He pants, “so goddamn tight.” He murmurs, knowing he’s never felt like this before. It’s like coming home.

You purposefully squeeze your walls together to make him groan, giggling when he slaps your ass. "Kegels." You tell him breathlessly. "Keeps everything nice and tight."

“Goddamn.” He mutters and starts to move inside of you. Rocking slow to pull out until he’s surging forward to rock into you hard. “Want you to scream my name. No one can hear you this far out.” He reminds you, “wanna hear you cry out.”

The house is farther away from the barn, making you nod and release your lip from your teeth. You had been biting down when he started moving, trying to stifle the sounds. He feels so much bigger from this position. "Oh fuck, Jav- I, fuck!"

“That’s it. Scream for me, hermosa.” He grunts, loving the way you let go and rock back onto him. His fingers dig into your hips and he shifts to cover your back with his chest, his lips finding your neck as he cups your tits. Squeezing them, he bites down on your shoulder.

"Fuck Javi-" You love how he is using his teeth, marking you. "Harder." You whine, not sure if you mean the thrusts, the teeth or them both. "Fuck me. Use me."

He grunts, pushing into you harder. He bites down on your shoulder again and soothes it with his tongue. “So fucking good. Pussy feels like a vice.” He grunts against your skin, “so good.”

"God, sooooo good." You moan, eyes rolling back and your arms shaking under you. "No wonder she didn't want to let you go." You don't want to start a fight, not while he's buried inside you, but you can see why Lorraine didn't want Javi moving on. "Oh fuck, baby."

“Gotten better since then with practice.” He confesses, “and you’re the last one to benefit if you want.” He adds, “you’ll be the pussy I live and die with.” He promises, “if you want me. I’m yours.” He vows and kisses along your neck.

You shiver because of his words and his lips trailing over your skin. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Peña." You moan, turning your head to look over your shoulder at him. "No promises while you're balls deep."

He hums, “fine.” He doesn’t argue, but he’s disappointed you never say that’s what you want. He pushes deep again, hunched over you, and the springs of the sofa struggle as he fucks you.

You can tell he's disappointed in your reaction to his comment but you can't make decisions like that when he's touching you. You're already so vulnerable. His next thrust has you crying out his name, nails digging into the fabric of the sofa under you.

“That’s it, hermosa.” He grunts when your walls clench around him. “That’s it, baby. Need you to cum again for me.” He demands, rocking into you over and over, jaw clenched with concentration.

"I will, oh fuck baby, you-" Your moan is low, long as he presses deep and hits something wonderful inside you. "Right there." You gasp. "Right fucking there!"

He groans, rocking into you over and over again, focusing on that same spot. “That’s it baby. That’s it. Cum for me.” He pleads, his voice raspy.

It only takes a few thrusts before your entire body is lurching forward. Back arching as you practically scream his name. Cunt clamping down around him and soaking him in waves of your juices until you are gasping for air.

He lets out a strangled groan as you clamp down on him. “I- fuck- that’s it baby girl. That’s it.” He grunts, “in-inside or no?” He asks, needing to know as he gets closer and closer to his orgasm.

"I'm on the pill." You moan out, eyes closing as you imagine him filling you up. The heat and warmth of his cum coating your insides. "Wherever you want."

He groans at the news he can fill you up. “Fuck baby. I- shit. I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill you up.” He moans and rocks into you a few more times before he chokes, biting down on your shoulder as he throbs inside of you, painting your walls.

It's exactly what you imagined. Hot and thick inside you. Making you whimper as the sharpness of his teeth bruises your shoulder and your cunt spasms because of his sexy groans. "So good."

Javier, groans and kisses the marks he left on your skin. “That was so fucking good, hermosa.” He nudges his nose against your neck as he pulls out of you, uncaring of his cum dripping onto the sofa he’s planning to get rid of.

You hum in agreement, smiling softly when you turn around and sit down. "It was. You have a gift, Peña." You tease. "Now I want a nap." You admit. "I didn't sleep very well last night."

“You wanna nap here or you wanna go somewhere else?” He asks, caressing your back, and he kisses your shoulder. “Or you wanna go back to the house?”

You hum and bite your lip. "There's a bed in the bedroom right?" You ask softly. "I think I would like to take a nap with you." You admit with a smile. "I doubt mom and Chucho will come out here looking for us. They are hoping we start getting along."

Javier smirks and shifts off of the bed and he reaches for you, “come on baby. Let’s go to bed.” He reaches for your hand and he guides you to the bedroom to lay down. “I’ll clean you up.” He promises and guides you to the bedroom before heading into the bathroom to clean you up.

Once you are cleaned up and snuggled against him, you sigh softly. "I've missed you, Javi." You admit, laying against his chest and listening to his heart beat. "I've missed you so much."

He kisses you softly, curling around you. “Merry Christmas baby.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck and he caresses your side as he closes his eyes.

*** 

It’s been a week,  now New Year’s Eve and even though you’ve spent nearly every moment you can in Javier Peña’s bed, you still haven’t had the most important conversation. Too busy getting fucked in every way possible between helping him decorate his new home. Oftentimes sneaking out of the house and over to his after your mother has gone to bed. You never sleep through the night, but you find yourself wanting to. “You look so tired.” Your mom tuts. “Your vacation was supposed to be relaxing.” 

You smother a yawn and smile. “I know. I will go to bed early tonight.”

Javier smirks from across the table, “you gotta get your sleep.” He tells you with a smirk, “what’s been keeping you up at night?” He asks with genuine looking concern that makes your mom shake her head, “are you worried about something, honey?”

"I've been thinking about my future." You admit quietly, not looking over at Javier. It doesn't help that you are sneaking in and out of his bed every night either, but the real thing keeping you up has been deciding what you will do. You know Javi has wanted to talk about it, but you've brushed him off so far.

Javier tilts his head, curiosity getting the better of him when he leans forward and says “and what have you been considering?” Chucho looks between you and his son, having picked up what’s going on, even if your mom is still trying to catch up.

You bite your lip, still nervous about what might be. "I don't know." You murmur quietly. "A lot. It's hard to explain."

Javier nods, not willing to push you anymore. These past ten days have been the best and he isn’t going to force you to be with him. He wants you to want him. To spend your life with him. You have your decision to make and he won’t force you but you’re leaving tomorrow and he is anxious about losing you forever if you go.

You look away from him quickly, unwilling to let your mother see the looks that pass between you but Chucho is watching you carefully. "So we are having the party tonight?" You confirm. "What do we need to do?"

“We are having the food catered. Javier just needs to go collect the drinks and we have some decorations to put out.” Your mom tells you and Javier nods, “I’ll go in a bit to get the drinks.” He tells your mom.

You nod. “That’s good. At least you won’t be pushing yourself to spend all day in the kitchen cooking.” You agree. “I’ll go with Javier, get anything else we need.”

Javier is pleased to hear you want to come with him and you’re soon in his truck heading to the store. He doesn’t say much after he starts the engine and the radio plays as he reaches for your hand.

Your fingers thread through his easily and you imagine yourself doing this every time you go to town together. Holding his hand and sitting in the soft silence with the radio playing. "So have you heard from the DEA?" You know he's temporarily on leave, but that could change, or he could be let go completely. It all depends on how angry they are at him.

He sighs, looking up at the traffic light. “I told you, I’m retired. They have to give me leave before I have my final briefing but I’m hoping they allow me to go without any issues.” He admits, “I ain’t going back. I am here now. To stay.”

Somehow, you don’t believe him, but you nod. “So you want to work the ranch with Chucho? That’s your end goal? Or do you have other plans in mind?”

Javier shrugs one shoulder. “That’s the plan. It all comes down to someone deciding they want to share a life with me and I ain’t gonna force her. I want more than a lonely life chasing down cartels that just get replaced by another.”

You squirm slightly in your seat and wonder if he knows how much pressure that is putting on you. “And what would happen if …..things don’t work out?” You ask softly.

Javier knows he can’t push you or force you into being with him. “If things don’t work out then I’ll be here, working with my Pa and I’ll eventually take over the ranch. I’m tired, baby. I want a simple life and if that’s a life alone, then at least it’s peaceful.” He says, having accepted that you might not want him for more than sex.

He sounds so tired and that hurts you. Squeezing his hand gently, you sigh. “I don’t know what I want.” You admit quietly. “I’m scared. Of being hurt again, I guess. I didn’t date for a long fucking time after leaving and never anything serious.”

He nods, “it’s okay. I don’t - I don’t want to pressure you or force you. I don’t want you to make a decision and make the decision you think I want you to make. I’m scared too. I don’t - I haven’t done this properly. A relationship.” He confesses, “at least not one where I’ve felt like this.”

"What do you feel like?" For all the conversations you've had, which aren't many, you've never really gone beyond 'I love you'. It's important to know why and how he loves you.

“I feel like - it’s comfortable. We can sit and say nothing at all and I don’t feel the need to fill the space with talking. We can just…be.” He says and squeezes your hand. “You’re my best friend. The best sex I’ve ever had, and the woman that I can see having a family with. I love you.”

You bite your lip and look down at your hands. “Tonight.” You promise. “I’ll give you an answer tonight. At midnight.” You still don’t know what you will say but he deserves to know that soon a decision will be made.

He nods, Not wanting you to make a decision and regretting it. “No rush baby. I’ll be here. No matter what.” He promises, “you’ll always be my best friend.”

He told you his theory. That Lorraine had seen you at the bar that night. She apparently knew that Javi was in love with you and that was why they had broken up the first time. It’s plausible, but you still aren’t sure. Javi isn’t a liar, at least he wasn’t, but you don’t know if you don’t trust him or yourself anymore. “Thank you.” You murmur sincerely. “Let’s get the food and alcohol so we can get back and help set up.”

**** 

Javier adjusts his shirt collar, feeling a little heated. Family and friends are gathered in the house and his cousins have the fireworks ready to go for the countdown. He is nervous about what you are going to decide. The rest of his life hangs in the balance and he’s trying to give you some space to make your decision. He sips his whiskey, watching his dad and your mom mingle and you’re across the room making sure his second and third cousins are having a good time and keeping out of the booze. “Countdown in two minutes.” Chucho announces after ten minutes of mingling and gathers the family outside for the fireworks to be set off. Everyone starts moving outside and Javier is looking around, trying to find you in the crowd.

You had slipped off to your room, wanting to make sure that you have your necklace on. It would be a symbolic gesture since you hadn't been wearing it when the party started. Butterflies filling your stomach and making you nearly nauseous. Checking your reflection one more time before slipping out of your bedroom and down the hall to go outside with everyone else. On the porch, you see Javi, craning his neck to look for you and you swallow, knowing that this step will change everything.

Javier almost senses you, turning his head to see you and the smile on his face is boyish. “Hey hermosa.” He murmurs, reaching for your hand to press a kiss to the back of it. His eyes focus on your necklace and his heart thumps a beat but he doesn’t want to assume anything. Not yet. “One minute everyone.” Chucho declares as Danny and some of the other guys get ready for the fireworks to be lit.

“Javi-“ Taking his hand, you turn towards him, swallowing nervously. “I didn’t expect to see you when I agreed to come for Christmas.” You begin. “I didn’t know if I wanted to see you ever again.” It’s hard to admit that, but he knows it’s true. “I had been in love with you for nearly our entire lives and it seemed like you had broken my heart.”

Javier swallows harshly, his heart pounding as your families and friends gather and the radio is loud to announce the countdown. “I did, not on purpose, and I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, getting more and more nervous with each second that passes to the new year.

“I know.” You nod. “But I was so angry, so hurt.” You go on. “Telling myself, you and everyone who would listen, that I couldn’t stand you. That I hated you.” You regret that, especially now that you truly do believe that he hadn’t seen you that night. “You’re here and you want to be with me. It’s probably my younger self’s dream come true.” Everyone around you starts to count down from ten as it gets closer to midnight. You can see that he’s nervous, glancing around and then back at you, but no one else is paying attention. “I have one more question to ask you.” 

Javi frowns. “Anything, hermosa.” 

You grin as everyone hits ‘two’ on the countdown. “Will you marry me, Javier Peña?”

His eyes widen and he doesn’t even take a second to think as he replies, “fuck yes” and surges forward to kiss you, cupping your cheeks, and the fireworks start to go off as the new year arrives. Javier kisses you for a long moment before he leans back to press his forehead against yours. “Happy New Year, baby.” He murmurs, a grin on his face as he looks at his future wife. This holiday season was complicated and rough but Javier is going into the new year looking forward to a bright future with you, the love of his life and soon to be his wife.

[ashwhowrites]

eddie x reader

they have a fight and he gets so upset that she ends up getting hurt really bad he sees it and when she starts crying he tells her shes being dramatic not knowing the damage(falling and hitting her head hard )

shes bleeding everywhere

wayne hears everything so he comes inside

when eddie locks himself in the room

wayne helps her clean herself up

but shes still crying and he realizes hes all bloody and that she needs to go to the hospital bcuz shes slipping in and out of consciousness , wayne starts crying and begging for u to stay with him & eddie hears all confused

he comes out of the room and when he sees everything hes shocked and doesn’t know what to do but he starts blaming himself

they take u to the hospital and u tell eddie u forgive him & that its not his fault before u go into surgery

wayne gives eddie a stern talk and he cries but he knows when u wake up he will never fight with u again

For sure

⚠️ warning of injured reader. Eddie does not abuse her on purpose! But he is still definitely an asshole. And definitely toxic

Not proofread

Y/N and Eddie were caught in their third argument of the week. It seemed every time they got alone it ended with her screaming, and not in the good way anymore.

She has no idea what happened to them. They went from shy kisses, dirty whisperers, and making love to glares, harsh words, and pure hatred. She didn't know if it was her that caused this drift or if it was him.

~~

"EDDIE JUST STOP SCREAMING AT ME!" she cried out. She couldn't handle him constantly screaming at her. He never was calm with her anymore. He used to never scream at her or make her cry.

He used to hate making her cry. He used to drop to his knees and wipe her tears away. But now it's like he had a sick game of seeing how many tears her eyes could hold.

"THEN LISTEN TO ME!" he screamed in her face. Throwing his hands in his hair. He was breathing fast and harshly. His nose was flaring and he felt like he was standing on fire.

"I AM. I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU. WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?" she sobbed harder. Crying so hard she choked and coughed

"just stop fucking crying" he rolled his eyes. He was tired of her being such a victim. He'd say one thing and her eyes are already flowing with tears.

"I'm trying, asshole" she bit back. Whipping her eyes as fast as she could. Her skin felt raw from the scraping of her clothes on her sensitive skin.

"I need a second" he sighed

She grabbed his hand fast, "no Eddie. You can't just walk away. Nothing will be resolved"

He yanked his hand out of her grip, with way more force than he intended. Shoving his shoulder into her as he headed for his bedroom.

When he yanked his hand out of her grip, he slightly knocked her off balance but the shove to the shoulder took her off of her feet. She whimpered as her body fell, her head smacking on the coffee table nearby. She sobbed harder as she held her head. Her vision went blurry in seconds. Panic rising in her chest instantly.

"Eddie. Wait please" she sobbed.

He sighed as he heard her crying... again.

He turned around to see her holding her head and sobbing on the floor.

"stop being so fucking dramatic. Nothing to cry about" he lashed out, slamming his bedroom door shut. He needed just a few seconds to breathe.

~~

The panic got worse. She was so scared. She could feel her hand was wet and had a feeling it was blood. She screamed for Eddie as much as her sobs would let her. Freaking out as his door never opened.

"woah hey hey" Wayne came out in seconds. He wanted to give the two privacy to deal with whatever issues they had. Eddie always walked away from fights so her screaming after him wasn't new. But the fear in her voice caused Wayne to act fast. She sounded terrified.

Wayne dropped to his knees and cradled her head

"my head" she cried softly. Her body was already growing tired

"okay let me see" he tried to hold in his gasp as he saw the blood underneath her head. Her hand was covered in deep red and her hair was matted together.

"did you hit it?" He asked fast, unbuttoning his flannel and bunching it under head to soak up the blood

"he...he accidentally pushed me....and I lost... balance... hurts "

Wayne panicked as her words got further apart

"hey now. Stay awake okay!" Tapping her cheek softly

Her eyes blinking rapidly

"I can't Wayne. It's too hard"

He watched as she kept trying to keep her eyes open but failing repeatedly

"EDWARD MUNSON" Wayne screamed as loud as he could

"HEY YOU NEED TO LOOK AT ME" he screamed in her face. Trying to get her attention on him. Clapping his hands in front of her but getting no reaction

~~

Eddie sighed as he heard his name being screamed. Figuring he was getting a lecture he planned to ignore it until he heard Wayne screaming in panic.

Eddie raced out of the door to see Y/N's body not moving and Wayne shaking the hell out of her.

"woah what the fuck" Eddie said fast, racing next to her body as he dropped on his knees.

"CALL 911 NOW" Wayne screamed again. Still moving her head side to side.

Eddie nodded fast, dialing as fast as his fingers could

Shaking as he looked at her not moving. He did that. He didn't stop when she asked, he didn't stay when she asked, and he didn't come back when she screamed for him.

~~

Eddie felt sick. Pacing in the white hallway as he bit his nails

"she's awake and we are taking her into surgery" The doctor said as he began to wheel out her bed

Eddie ran to her side immediately, wet eyes as he looked at her puffy red eyes. Cupping her cheeks

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I can't believe I'm just like him" he sobbed

"no you're not. You aren't him. You didn't purposely shove me. It's okay. It's not your fault. We'll talk when I'm out of surgery. It's okay, Eds. I'm okay" she said softly. Patting his hand as the doctor wheeled her bed into the surgery room.

"we need to talk Edward."

Eddie nodded as Wayne stood behind him. A hand on his shoulder.

~~

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to never be so cruel to her"

Wayne watched as Eddie sobbed into his hands, sitting in the uncomfortable chair.

"I don't know either. But I didn't raise you to be just like him" Wayne said sternly

"fuck, I know" Eddie knew exactly who Wayne was talking about. He turned into his dad in a blink of an eye

He didn't physically abuse her but he hurt her. He didn't take care of her anymore. He made her cry and physically put her in the hospital.

"then shape up Edward. I'm not listening to you scream at her for no reason. She has no reason to stay with you. You don't give her any reason why you are worth it anymore. But yet she is still here because she loves you. You are blowing it. Fix yourself and fix the mess you made. Or let her go. She doesn't deserve this."

Eddie nodded. He agreed with everything Wayne said. He knew he was days away from when she walked out the door and didn't bother to come back.

And for some reason she always did. He needed to show he loved her. He needed to fix himself. And once she woke up from surgery, and back home.

He planned to fix every single thing.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for venting?

Emojis, so I can find it later 💯⁉️💥 (unrelated, I just use them a lot)

So I(16) have been struggling with depression since I was, like, 10. It's been worse and better over the years, but something that really triggers it is extreme weather. Dunno why, but if its hot as fuck outside I *will* be considering suicide.

I regularly go to sleepaway camp every year. I usually do two weeks and usually go during the summer rainy season. Well, a year or two back (can't remember, got that depression and ADHD memory loss) I went later on in the summer than I usually do, and it was really fucking hot out. The whole time.

I could deal with it for a couple of days, especially because I was having a bit of romantic tension with J(16) (not real name, not even real initial). "I can survive any situation as long as I have a crush on someone there", or whatever that post said. He was really sweet and also suffered from depression. We talked about our struggles together, and he seemed to be responsive and chill about it. He did have trauma from his past with loved ones committing suicide, but he seemed to have worked through his grief and didn't have negative reactions when it was mentioned.

Here's where I might be the asshole. Eventually, the heat got to be too much for me, not to get too graphic but I was making plans, so I sent my parents a letter asking to pick me up. I waited a couple days for them to recieve it, and they did and called and said they would pick me up in the morning.

I delivered the news to everyone by being quite vague about what I had to go home for. When pressed, I said my parents didn't give any details and I was a little worried. That explained my acting weird away to everyone, but not J. He didn't believe me for one minute, and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

He took me outside, asked me what was wrong, and told me it was ok to tell him. It took a little convincing, but I eventually broke down and told him I was having suicidal ideation and that I needed to get the fuck out of dodge or I might do something drastic. I specified that I would be completely fine once I got out of the oppressive heat and humidity, just that I had to go home ASAP. I did ask him not to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry, which I realize now was unkind. I should have at least told a counselor so that he wasn't alone.

Anyway, he immediately started having full-fledged PTSD flashbacks. I couldn't tell at first, but then I realized what was going on and tried to comfort him. It didn't work. The counselor that came check on us just kicked me out. I went back inside feeling guilty, but I was hoping that I reassured him enough that he would be ok.

He acted normal for the rest of the time I was there (we even kissed! That was my first kiss) and made me promise to text him when I got home. Naturally, I did, reassuring him and telling him I was feeling infinitely better now that I had air conditioning and my phone. When he got home from camp a week later, he seemed a little freaked out but seemed to be mollified by my texts.

However, a couple days after that, he texted me out of nowhere, saying that I shouldn't have told him about what I was going home about because I gave him constant PTSD flashbacks for the rest of camp. He felt sick with worry the whole time. I felt like shit, obviously, so I responded with profuse apologies. He seemed to accept them but still feel a little resentful.

I still feel really fucking bad about it. I actually haven't told anyone I know IRL about. Well. Pretty much anything bothering me since. I know that's a bit of an overreaction, but I don't want to do that to anyone else.

So, am I the asshole?

(By the way, if you were there or know me, I would love it if you could just ignore this. Please and thank you. And also never make me know you read this cause that would be embarrassing as fuck lol)