#Idk I just don't super feel like making a spectacle out of it

[ghoulinfuschia]

Seeing how… passionate you are with VTuber rigging, do you plan to make different models depending on your fandoms? Like if for example you go back to Homestuck, would you make a troll-sona model?

OKAY NGL,,, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS.

Seeing as making models for myself would be relatively easy I did consider making models for different fandom-sonas, the only issue is if I switched my model a lot it would kinda make me harder to recognize I feel. Although a workaround I thought about was maybe having my robo-sona be my default? I have been told I act like a robot anyways (not cold and unfeeling, but I was told I "glitch" a lot? I still don't know what that means IUDEFU).

My idea for my model was to have her be a cybergirl so being made of pixels would make it easy for her to shapeshift anyways??? Maybe?? Idk Im still workshopping that- BUT ANYWHO, A TROLLSONA MODEL IS V MUCH A POSSIBILITY. I think that could be very fun.

[crayons-and-glitter-glue]

I think about Sun and Moon's original versions a LOT, and I don't get why people say they're not expressive!

Or perhaps, I do, and I just wanna ramble. Anyways! Big ol warning for lots of talking, some fursuit gifs and analyzation of body movement.

So, they have flat, immobile faceplates, right? Technically, yes!some argue that this makes them immediately inert and expressionless and opt to enhance their expressions. And this is a-okay! Do what you like!

But as someone who used to be a costumer, and wears a fursuit on occasion,

(Sorry, I love this gif so much)

BUT! When in a mascot costume, fursuit, or any other costume with a mask over one's face, the performer has to learn how to move in order to portray the emotions necessary for character engagement with the audience! Whether it's exaggerated head bobs, using your hands to talk, or making everything a bit of a spectacle, even the way you tilt your FACE can affect how you look.

Even MUPPETS do this with their limited range of expression. And we can easily draw those conclusions of how the boys were programmed to act in canon!

Take Sun's default animation in the daycare, just standing there.

It's very obvious here what he's trying to portray, and who his programmed audience is- little children! When costuming around little kids, you wanna use big gestures, and get on their level because you can seem HUGE AND SCARY to them! You wanna get down towards the ground, make big sweeping cartoon motions, and make sure all your movements are ROUNDED- not jabbing, sharp, or sudden- so that the kid isn't ever surprised, but rather delighted by your performance as a costumer. I'll show you an example by the amazing performer, Temba the Bat! (Made by Toxicoon, I believe.)

Big sweeping motions, slow without being too spooky, and generally friendly motions while swaying the head! Looks kinda similar right?

Another point is, though, these exaggerated motions don't really... turn off when feeling other things. Sun and Moon don't have a customer service mode, and that's WILD to me that their programming requires them to act like this all the time. Exhibit B: Sun's pain in the transformation scene.

He's making such exaggerated motions and movements to INDICATE he is in pain or holding something back. He's gripping his face like something is trying to come out of it, and even dramatically falls backwards to indicate a loss of control in his body. Whether the way the fall looks so cartoonist was intentionally programmed in, I couldn't tell you.

And then... there's Moon.

This is SO cartoon villain sequel, isn't it? The hands tapping delicately on the surface, the exaggerated head tilt, all of it is so wildly exaggerated in such a smooth way to let you know "Ah! I'm in danger! Great!"

And yet... he still is low to the ground. Still in that pose of going after someone SMALL. Performing for someone small. His evilness is almost completely exaggerated and, dare I say, fabricated by his programming. Of course, the virus probably had something to do with it but LIKE! Look at that range of motion!

Idk what the point of all this is, I just wanna say: it's totally understandable to make the boys super duper expressive in the artistic, flat 2d styles i see a lot!

But man I do hope someone draws them biblically accurate while expressing something else because that would be hilarious to see Sun throwing a temper tantrum by banging his fists on the ground and flailing while his face is just

:D

[chaifootsteps]

potentially controversial ask, feel free not to post if it makes you uncomfortable, I totally understand given the topic - how do you feel about the legal case surrounding Amber Heard? I've been reading around it and it really feels like JD's version of events doesn't make sense, especially with evidence that AH has and existing articles about JD abusing other women and being a terror on film sets across his career. So much of the 'evidence' his supporters rely on is stuff taken out of a wider context and it's just as easy to argue AH was doing reactive abuse as JD was

This article lays out the timeline really well:

https[://]michaelhobbes[.]substack[.]com/p/the-bleak-spectacle-of-the-amber

idk, the whole thing just really uncomfortably reminds me of the way Viv stans will rationalize away or ignore the accounts of Erin and Ken, despite all surrounding context (some other employee reviews, near constant 'we're hiring!' at Spindle beyond what you'd expect for a bit of turnover, screenshots of Viv's own text were she sounds completely unhinged).

AH has just as much evidence from people who literally worked for JD, including text exchanges from them and from him which that support her accounts, but its just not enough because a body language expert said AH didn't look appropriately brokenhearted on the stand or something. then there's getting into the idea that she supposedly wanted his money when they never had a pre-nup so she'd get the same amount from a divorce regardless of what she alleged (and she took less against the advice of her legal team) or to destroy his career despite the fact his career was already failing due to his substance abuse issues and someone at Disney alleged they hadn't even seen AH's op-ed. and this isn't even getting into the crazier stuff the Internet made up wholecloth to support JD, same as people spreading misinfo about how unions work just so they don't have to consider whether or not Viv stabbed her pilot cast in the back

With the caveat that I didn't follow the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard thing very closely while it was going on, my impression was that they were a couple of addicts abusing each other, but that he was 23 years older than her and a lot more powerful. Also, that the whole thing was trashy and ugly in a way that didn't interest me.

That said, I was super uncomfortable with the black and white thinking and the memes. You had people saying absolutely vile shit about Amber Heard and hanging it in the walls of their businesses and getting tattoos of it. It was a circus, and it was beyond gross.

(Also, went looking for some insight into the whole thing and found this and if it ain't Viv...)

[thecoolerliauditore]

im very sleepy but fuck it ummm. quick and dirty jimmy ecosystem breakdown for you specifically @puppyocto this is very sleepy me writing this is wrong

scott: suffers inherently from The Ecosystem by default by being gay. He chooses to embrace this as kind of. his niche, therefore ridding the threat of being ostracized or humiliated for it. Type to get called gay and start flirting back.

However (possibly because of said ecosystem) his view on romance is extremely idealized and fairy tale-esque. He views Jimmy as someone who can "fill the role" of a partner who can give him the happily ever after ending and is frustrated when jimmy fails to live up to his standards.

In Utena terms Scott is a princess waiting for his prince to come rescue him and give him the happiness he desires from being loved. But when he discovers Jimmy is "incapable" he takes on the prince persona for himself and "keeps Jimmy safe" by taking away Jimmy's agency. This frustrates him, but the "prince" role makes him feel capable and Good so he doesn't complain too much and continues to make Jimmy more and more helpless so that their dynamic can continue.

joel: also suffers inherently from The Ecosystem by being gay except he's NOT gay he's definitely NOT gay which is totally the truth and not his defense mechanism. He overperforms masculinity and always emphasizes his relationship with lizzie for totally normal reasons and not because he's living in fear.

He sees Jimmy as almost this danger to him because he's attracted to him. If Jimmy is a princess to Scott then he's a very stupid seductress to Joel, at least at the start. Joel abuses Jimmy for making him feel things for him and tries to push him away, but at the same time can't keep Jimmy too far because he deeply desires the intimacy and non-judgment he can only get from jimmy. He also made a kid with him that one time I don't really know how to interpret what happened there still.

I also do think jimmy and joel do share a genuinely very close platonic bond so that's always there for when they're not caught up in the hell spiral.

fwhip: honestly I don't actually think fwhip is Super Into Jimmy the way Joel and Scott are. I think he feels some? level of resentment towards jimmy for one reason or another since he constantly seeks to punish him in some way (this is especially bad in esmp2) and the "romantic gestures" (see: forcefully kissing him, stalking him, making a serial killer shrine dedicated to him) feel more like they're in line with that than any genuine interest.

I'm willing to believe he is attracted to men and just very confused about it and acting out some of that frustration onto Jimmy I just don't think he's too into Jimmy past using romantic gestures to humiliate/punish and fitting in socially (I've noticed he's usually at his worst when in public, his one on one interactions with Jimmy are usually. fairly chill)

sausage: I don't really know if I can talk about him I actually went on a giant binge once of his videos trying to figure out what he is to me and I couldn't do it. He is definitely interested in Jimmy sexually is all I've gathered definitively.

He's also very. odd about gay relationships if we're talking story. Obviously this is more or less just the CC baiting for fan interactions but a lot of the times he mentions gay relationships are through a frame of humiliation or spectacle. See: him claiming bdubs kissed him during the crossover but also said he "only does that for etho" or when he put on a play in the sos talent show mog hosted where the joke seemed to just be. Joel and Etho's whole thing. And ofc how he treats jimmy just in general.

of course he's. very gay too in this context so idk maybe there's some depth there to be dug up.

grian: honestly kind of a tough one because he exists just on the verge of the ecosystem to me. Homophobic grian is the funniest thing in the world to me but also kinda canon, but homophobic in a very different way compared to Sausage where he doesn't find any humour from it.

Even when he admonished jimmy and joel for kissing in RL his tone is more. "think of the consequences" than anything else.

To me grian is kind of like. a fucked up little animal who protects himself by disengaging with all of it. He refuses to let himself be vulnerable for others and at the same time clings onto those who can give him comfort. I don't think he's really into jimmy though so. shrugs.

I think I'll talk about this more in that essay I'm planning to write but grians someone who bends the rules just enough to protect himself, but still plays the game and believes you can only survive by playing the game. He looks down on jimmy for not being good enough at that (e.g. southlanders) but at the same time is sympathetic towards him.

martyn: oh this bitchass um. also kinda exists on the outskirts of it. like joel he overperforms masculinity but I think it's much less because of insecurity and more because that's what he takes pride in playing the role for (which is also rooted in insecurity but. whatever. sleepy)

he sees himself as a protector/provider more than anything else and gets frustrated when that role is denied from him, such as in third life with jimmy, because when he can't do that he's forced to confront his insecurities and he very much doesn't want to do that. I don't think he's? attracted to jimmy as much as he just wants to keep him safe but. sigmund freud's face flashes in front of my eyes killing me instantly.

[loopscereal]

Random question, but what's your favorite FHS characters (either from the OG show or your rewrite/AU)?

In the original Freddy, Fred, Bonnie, and Bon immediately caught my attention. I saw Freddy and insanely went 'just like me fr', Fred was duel wielding that fun to watch with underlying tragedy, Bonnie was incredibly fun, I loved how fun he was and how snarky he could be super early on. Some of bons lines, a couple of his songs, just really struck my head and made me go wow! I can work with this! So I did, and for those four I feel like I've kept them relatively the same as their OG counterparts? I dunno, I wouldn't be able to tell from here on the inside, but they all have their roots in the original, pieces I took, pieces i rejected, things i twisted and amplified. Its fun! If you want me to talk about a specific character, I reeeeeeally like how we changed up Golden. Neither of us particularly like canon Golden, so we changed them up. Here is a summary of what I'll be talking about below the cut lmao.

They are still rich, they are not the insane 1% drinking out of gold chalices or whatever, but they are very well off, they are super comfortable. Could have had the opportunity to go to a private school of choice types. Anyways uhhh. Golden, their full name is Golden Belmonte, we gave them nonbinary they/them swag, and then we gave them some more interests and a different family background!! they are Ecuadorian, and the bear they are reflects that.

They are an Andes bear, also known as a spectacles bear or oso de anteojos! It looked like (to me) the spectacles bear had a star shaped pattern on its chest, so I gave Golden a star shaped birth mark. Anyways, this bear is very small. And in comparison to what you normally picture a bear as, they are t i n y, they are smaller than a person (while down on all four paws, they are below the average humans waist.) And with much softer hair as well. Golden reflects both these qualities. They have soft hair and have a different, much rounder and softer build in contrast to all the other bears. Fred/dy, Toddy, Deuz, and Fede all have much bigger, broader, square-er builds.

^ for facial comparison between all the bears. Please ignore how i forgot Golden's eyebrows. (yeah we completely changed Fede, sue me) Visually, we changed Golden's expression range and hairstyle. The hair re-do was done by me, inspired by 50s/60s women hairstyles. I was particularly inspired by Marilyn Monroe, purely visually, and in reference to that, Golden sometimes paints a little Monroe beauty mark on themselves. I also made their hair curly, and kept that odd little asymmetrical/ side-swept (?) thing the original has going on. My best friend Pia changed up their expression range, making them much less expressive. Very little facial expressions, but that does but mean emotionless! Their vocal tone is the same, very little emotion conveyed. Very flat, very monotone, all that. Golden certainly has the ability to push out and present tone and expression, but that would take effort, they just naturally don't. They also have eye-bags naturally,and always have their head tilted to the side Golden is in the student council, very efficient, on top of all their work, lends a hand to anyone who asks, they're academically smart, but bad at social queues. Autism swag.

Genuinely though, they're autistic. They're quite blunt and literal either don't make eye-contact at all or stare directly into your eyes without breaking the hold, they stim by: > bobbing on their tippy-toes, > holding their arms completely parallel to their sides clench their fists then fan out their hand then repeat the motion, > applying pressure to themselves by stepping on their own feet and clasping their hands together or, again, clenching their fists, > doing a sort of 'banging' motion with their arms, as if you're hitting something with your fists, idk how else to describe it lol they also fidget mindlessly with things like drawstrings of a sweater and hold their arms in the t-rex position by default.

Anyways their special interest is architecture, they love it. They also have a special interest on Pokemon, and they enjoying singing and dancing. Their favorite Pokemon is Mimikyu. They are friends with Spring, and got them both matching sweaters. Springs was Pikachu and their own was Mimikyu. They're also open to being social and making friends, especially if they can talk with people about their interests. Here's a shitty concept comic about it

Their family life. Woooooo! It's not a straight forward issue. Lol. Okay so, their family is very close knit, at least in concept. They all share ownership of a company while running different subsections as individuals. Their whole company is a sort of culture center. Some family members sell traditional Ecuadorian, Venezuelan, and Colombian clothing. Others sell food, sweets, ingredients, or teach history, culture and customs. Joy and Golden learned how to sing and dance from this! They started dancing with from learning traditional dances and songs, doing duets and partnered dancing with each other since childhood. Yeah. So, family is pretty rich and well off cause it's multiple people under the same company all accumulating and sharing wealth, always there for each-other n such. There's probably more about this i missed, but I'll reblog this and add more if its something significant. ANYWAYS. Thanks for the ask, and I could totally talk about more characters we changed and added intent to but this is long enough as is. I hope this was a satisfactory and understandable response, sorry if its messy as hell. It's cause id how to explain anything ever lol THANKS AGAIN FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!

[hangmanbrainrot]

Sieeee I’m so sorry for the brainfart I’m sharing but I can’t stop thinking about the Daggers with a partner who has opposite personalities as them. Hangman with a major introvert? Bob with a major extrovert? Rooster with…Idk I’m too tired to think of who could be opposite Rooster

Do with this what you will, I just wanted to share it with someone 😭

MY DARLING ANNA, pls never apologize. I love you & your mind. Always share any and every thought with me.

Okay, so here is about to be my first attempt at writing hc's! Talk to me nice. <3 I wrote these with gn pronouns.

the dagger squad & their partners

Bradley

I feel like Bradley is a textbook definition of an ambivert; that or he's social when he strictly needs to be. Otherwise, he's content not to be the star of the show or the person with the loudest laugh in the room. This makes him able to be incredibly adaptable to his partner's needs, no matter what their personality type is like. Quiet, shy, reserved partner? He's at home with them, catching up on the show they've been waiting weeks to binge together because he's finally home and making sure they have a ton of snacks. Outgoing, super gregarious and affable partner? He's helping them play the role of the perfect host, mingling at the many holidays and parties hosted at their shared home, and practically fucking dazzling every at every social outing.

Reuben

He gives me major life of the party vibes, for sure. Bradley and Jake were squabbling like an old married couple and he didn't have any trouble being like 'anyway.' So, for as much as I love Reuben, I feel like he'd struggle the most with a partner who was opposite from him in terms of personality! He would absolutely, fully commit to the bit, drag them out of their shell, kicking and screaming. He's belting out along with the radio in the grocery store and making everyone laugh, he's the fun uncle who dresses up in a Santa costume for the kids, like Reuben just seems so fun and larger than life, to me. His person, 100%, has got to match his energy.

Natasha

I don't know how else to say this besides she's just so fucking cool, man. People perceive her as standoffish, I think, but I'd rather think of her as observant. So, Natasha is likely, like Bradley, very much an ambivert. Though, instead of electing to find a partner who's opposite of herself, I think Natasha would prefer to be with someone who, like her, can match the energy of a room. Much more than that, Natasha's partner has to be smart as a whip and really able to keep up with some healthy banter. I think having to shoulder a conversation on her back with her potential person would be super irritating for her; she likes someone who can keep up. No matter what their personality type, they've gotta be able to keep Nat on her toes.

Javy

Being best friends with Jake has sort of equipped Javy to be able to deal with every sort of personality type, so Javy is another person who I think is often perceived as a little more reserved, but absolutely isn't. He's just used to his little green-eyed Ken doll friend making a spectacle of himself, is all. Javy is absolutely the kind of person who can have fun with his person in a museum, whispering commentary on what they saw, as to not interrupt the other patrons, and making note of specific works to discuss later over coffee, but also down for karaoke in a sweaty, crowded bar, just to profess his love for his partner in a room full of people he's never met but that absolutely need to know how special they are.

Mickey

Mickey is literal sunshine personified. I believe this completely. Like, he was very much well-liked in school, class president, had a ton of different friends. I feel like Mickey has an uncanny ability to make any and everyone like him, no matter what their differences are. He just gives me that FEELING. So I feel like Mickey would end up in a sunshine x sunshine protector dynamic with his partner, in which said partner is maybe a little rough around the edges but will threaten harm to anyone who dares try to dim the light of their Mickey. This is one of my favorite ship dynamics and it suits Mickey so well.

Jake

He's not quite pushy, but he's definitely leaning on his partner to open up a little bit and be a little more sociable. Like, he's a real "take them dancing and show off some flashy moves" type, but only so everybody can see how absolutely captivating his person is, and how lucky he is to have them on his arm. Despite how big and loud his personality can be, I think he'd definitely be the type to respect his partner's limits; he'd be so in tune with them that he'd know when they've had their fill of social interaction and be ready to spend some quality time curled up on the couch, especially when he knows this is their preference. But, if Jake is with someone whose personality is bigger than his? They're absolutely always trying to playfully one-up each other, and see who can be more endearingly, ridiculously annoying or boisterous. I imagine Jake with a partner whose personality is similar to his is just on level 500 energy-wise, and they're always laughing together.

Bob

My secret hc is that Bob is only shy with the Daggers because he doesn't know them like that, oops! So, his partner fully expects someone shy and, he is but like only for the first few weeks of dating. After that, I think Bob would start to reveal his true personality, which is like singing full-throated in the kitchen while making his person breakfast and striking up conversations with fellow patrons in the Starbucks line (but like in the least obtrusive, least annoying way possible). Bob has such a soothing aura and vibe that people just feel like they can trust him and strike up small talk with him in public spaces. With this in mind, I think his ideal partner is already fairly extroverted, but they're completely shocked by his 180 once they're out of the 'getting to know you' phase.

[destinyc1020]

I honestly think they are going to plan something so small people wont even realize it's a wedding. I feel like they will do the Olsen twins way. Regardless, of the FBI...and as good as some are, you have to realize they monitor social media too and their teams. They're not dumb to this. I'm sure they will make it literally close family only for vows then probably a huge reception, for family and friends. Possibly. It just seems like they want zero hoopla and knowledge of it coming out. And I dont blame them, because once its announced I think they want to be far from any spectacle and media. They want a good week to themselves at least.

To me, they have the ball rolling...getting there respective homes in order, possibly deciding what new projects to take on, will they be married before the new spiderman starts filming? Even children, to me I see them married one year and then they'll try for children possibly. It seems they are building up their brand and pockets to secure things so they don't have to work for at least a good year. 🤷‍♀️

I would love to see a picture of the dads together. And the icing on the cake is Tom, her dad and siblings.

What you think Destiny?

Hmm..... I mean, I'll be honest Anon, I don't usually like getting too deep into the engagement or marriage/wedding talk because I'm not them, and I'm not in their relationship. 🥴

Idk, like to me it just feels a little weird trying to predict what a couple is gonna do when it comes to smthg SO IMPORTANT and life-changing as marriage. 🤔 Idk what they've discussed with each other, so idk..... Y'all know me, I don't usually like to "predict" things too much. 😬

With that said....

I do feel that they are heading towards marriage and that this is ultimately the goal (again, I say this very cautiously because I know marriage isn't for everyone, and I'm not in their heads).

I also feel like you that IF they did have a wedding ceremony, it WOULD be quite small, not a lot of hoopla, and it would involve SUPER close friends, family, and workmates ONLY. Just a guess. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But yea, I don't mind playfully joking about their "status", but I don't like seriously diving in, coz what if things don't happen in the time frame that fans expect it? 🥴 Ykwim?

Idk....I just think we should all just WAIT and SEE. Just enjoy the rlshp as it is, and not be on "Wedding Watch" 24/7.

Just go with the flow! 😌

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary284

6/28/24

friday

very very tired right now.

so i will sleep soon, i did some touching up on the drawing i did of myself today, i think i got it right, i also got it better looking on the cover art by making it bigger, which is just very nice i think.

i feel a little more awake after washing my face. i almost said 'alive'.

i was having thoughts while washing my face, about the debate yesterday, mostly attempts to imagine why/how that could be desirable as an outcome for anyone, like the fact everyone now is not eager to have biden running, that he is unfit, and the tragedy that he seems so unable (not tragic to me, but to a broader spread maybe (and anyway this 'tragedy' is actually 'it's so tragic he can't work' (always down to a kind of fetishization of ability + functionalism))), like the furthering of a narrative of someone falling out of use, and that falling out of use coming in the shape of a public humiliation that gets people to see, and for the people who maybe already saw, feeling proven right, are maybe more invested in correcting the ship? i don't know. really what i want to get at, less than any political efficacy, because really what happens happens there, outisde of the fact that no matter what, whoever wins many lives are just going to get worse and people will be more oppressed, the feeling is really that i want to understand the function of what happened, not as an expression of faith in the ability for people to plan but for media to narrativize, maybe, or maybe for the spectacle to capture attention and reify its order, that of functionalism appeased with entertainment, entertainment of the most 'functional' organs of society, humiliation of those organs in order to, rather than inspire faith, inspire investment, attention?

and so what am i doing here? i must admit, sometimes it feels better to see than to not but it is such a worthless thing, the debates, i mean, things really could change, though i seriously don't know, honest. a lot of what has people super worried seems like the same kinds of fascist thinktanks we've been seeing for a while, i guess it could be the straw that breaks some kind of back, of some metaphorical animal. like, maybe it seems designed to be that. but idk.

again, the feeling is really that this is all pointless, it is baffling that things are carrying on like this.

i would like to append here re: the notion of faith i was speaking of, like faith in the people making decisions or government broadly to have these bizarre machinations, this is what i would like to put myself against as i do not really believe this is every what is happening, when it is, for instance when the cia is forming death squads to destroy dissent somewhere in the world, cointelpro stuff, these kinds of things, it is also not perfect, but really what i take issue with is the notion that there is any kind of conspiracy, that is not my aim/imagining here, really i just wonder what like, propelled them to allow this to happen, and the response to the event as a kind of creation of a tool/image of some kind, it's a set of reactions, i suppose.

also today, i felt ugly, idk why i have been feeling ugly, i hope it stops soon or something, maybe it has to do with the sudden shift in my sleep schedules, or the shifts, more accurately, like making my skin feel worse, whether or not it really is, that kinda thing.

hopefully that will feel over with and i can do the pix of myself and then get the cover fully sorted...hope hope hope for that.

another thing, is the new hellp song came out:

it's really good, the song, it feels like their response to 1901 by phoenix in some ways, or not response, maybe re-deployment? strange notion but that also feels like a lot of what the video is. it's one of the more,,, interesting? uses of ai i've seen in a while, for one it's super sparing so you might miss it, but it's there, definitely in a few shots of the horses, it generated those, and some of those beauty shots that look like stock footage of clouds over mountains. i don't like it, mind you, but it's interesting. it recalls connor o'malley's use which means it's at least very intentional and formally it leads you down similar lines. the connor o'malley thing is really that he points at this technology as coming from the human and expressing 'the human' or giving us the image of the human back, our ways of seeing repeated, the human as 'functional', but the humor/horror/truth emerges from the space where the person's at, the ai's at, and both are failing at 'human', and rather than being alien or even post-human, it's squarely the failure/horror this thing put upon us, these standards and the freakishness of 'the norm', here with this video, it feels equally pointed, maybe the feeling here too is horror but i don't know, it feels sort of earnest, maybe the earnestness is coming from a lamentation of these views, these animals, becoming part of a human-sight replication machine. but i dunno, really they seem to enjoy the 'human', they are reactionary in that way, certainly, as much as i love them i feel like that has to be admitted, and this kind of stock photo american apparrel ad thing, the hyper-normcore and senitmental-commercial imagery is kind of like, i can't feel fully if it's knowing and hateful re: the nostalgia people feel for that, or if it's just kind of standing in awe of it, in a queasy distance from it, using these generated images to point at the fact that there is this distance (it seems their album is gonna be called anemoia (may be wrong, but this is in the yt description (anemoia - atlantic records (seems like an announcement done in a subtle way)))), so that seems apt. ultimately though, it only reinforces i think, which frustrates, or idk, not really, really it is interesting to me that this is what they'd do, it feels like i guess there must be some kind of reply possible, so it's i guess like a kind of dancing, staring at it. but i love the song, it's the sound of the summer probably. the last summer before fascism, as a friend keeps putting it. here is this beautiful song, cleaved from... this kind of hyperreal americana post-sentimental pining for... well the pining is freaky! and i imagine that expresses why i want to attack it on some level. but the song's on repeat. so maybe they're just totally pwning me or something. i could also be missing that this is a formal critique, though it's blurry enough for you to make anything of it i think. i do think that generally the video is edited and shot in a genius way, the sort of violent/jerky perfume ad abstractions, sleek and easy on the eyes almost, but so bright and violent it gets a little difficult, i do like that on some level they push back at people in what they do, that's where they are totally correct.

anyway, like i said i am tired, idk why i am so tired lately but it feels good to be sleep before 12 am, so i guess i will take advantage of that and sleep now.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[candykamikun]

SULLY AND HIS S/O HEADCANON + DRABBLE

This big boy here doesn't get enough love so my job today is giving him sum

HE'S. AN. ELASTIC BOY

for those who don't know, an elastic man is a "fuckass" kind of man. to attract them you have to pretend not to be interested, for example Sully:"Wanna hang out" Y/n, kinda teasingly:"Yeah uhmm.. no-" Sully"Well, my bad.. that wasn't a question" YOU SEE ??

I think that in the apartments (because in my AU it would be apartments with a large hall that serves as a bit of a "welcome entrance"-) Sully is very seen, at least he does prefer to keep control if they (him and Liu) are not alone / not with trusted people, unless Liu tells him he'll be careful.

Sully is not (THAT MUCH) a cuddly boy

LEMME EXPLAIN BITCH

when you're alone he doesn't really mind, he can even touch you lovingly- BUT

But but but but he's not a softie, yk? like he will hold your hips or hold you if you ask but he prefers kisses-

Kisses ! Kisses you often, but not in an abusive way-

he's an pro surprise kisser! Kisses you when you two have good moments, when you're laughing cuz he thinks your laugh is priceless (it is !) Aaand when you make him feel randomly happy, even by doing nothing like just him thinking about you ! He gives you more pecks than kisses- kisses you on the cheek or forehead because this jackass is kinda embarrassed to kiss someone he REALLY LOVES ! Like he's a flirty boy but in reality he's embarrassed easily with his lover ! (You won't see it tho, he desn't show it)

He likes neck kisses :) like when you two are sleeping together or cuddling hello just kiss your hair or your neck ! <3 BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE ASLEEP THO

Holds you in public when he's jealous

Don't get jealous often, but when he is he's really angry ! if someone flirt with you he couldn't care less, if they hug you ? whatever..

BUT..

IF THEY FLIRT + TOUCH YOU + YOU DON'T NOTICE IT OR RETURN.. He's gonna be SUPER JEALOUS

Gonna :

Yell at the person things that don't make sens just insulting them and then holds your wrist to get out of here and just tells you "YOU CAN'T DO THIS-" and you're like confused like :What do you mean" and he can't tell you ! Because he's embarrassed-

He's kissing you in front of them, blood boiling, but he tries to look calm and confident

Tells you he want to go and somehow force you to get out of the place you were in-

He'll like an bimbo/himbo S/O or a very clever s/o, not really in between

He'll rather like someone who's kind of super expressive and a ball of good energy, kinda helps him, empathic.

He really like to be alone, WITH HIS S/O ! Like.. he doesn't like people :c.

Pet names for you are : "[your nickname], Babe, Idiot or Smart mouth! Dear, Honey and he has funny ones too- like : Bitch, Dick face, miss/mister pillow, BOTTOM 💀💀"

He WILL call you "HEY, YOU BOTTOM" in public and SCREAM it

And uuuhm idk what to add ! So here's a very small drabble cuz i want to

Under a beautifully degraded setting sun there was a couple who had gotten lost. On the top of a mountain, above the forest, they admired all the spectacles which were offered to them.

"Babe?" Did you whisper he only hummed "we did really well to stop actually." Sully didn't answer. He was already lying on the grass for about ten minutes, you swung your body to join him in the heart of the greenery. Clinging to him and clinging to his clothes, your pretty eyes began to close charmingly and slowly, and that's how wonderland had taken you with it for a little while.

Feeling you very relaxed glued to him, Sully put a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him before taking a deep breath, letting out a small smile in spite of himself and closing his eyes to join you. He really hoped that forever you accompany him, you and the way you breathe, act, love him, move, smile, laugh, jump and are. Oh dear.. he loves the fucking way you are.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I still feel like Kate and Anthony will be married, somehow, by the end of ep 6. I can’t be convinced that sign of the times isn’t for the consummation. But that’s gonna be so WTF. Even if she’s in love and super horny, how does Kate sleep with Anthony that night knowing that morning he woke up fully intending to marry her sister? Like have some self-respect ffs. And Anthony’s gonna be the most pathetic romantic hero, like …

No one reads romance for historical accuracy of course, but I did feel like S1 was nevertheless somewhat tethered to reality? And now they appear to have just completely abandoned it and gone full parody. There’s no way both families aren’t ruined if it is what it looks like. Like there are no actual stakes if they all survive this and maintain their standings fairly easily (which they will - there’s only 2 episodes left after this spectacle). Even if they conjure some circumstance where they survive socially, you still need more than 1-2 episodes to deal with the fallout of a scandal that huge? How are Kate and Anthony not wholly ostracized in ep 7? Since the last episode is going to concern mostly their fight, her injury, and their reconciliation. Wtf is the pacing? What did they spent the first 6 episodes doing?

My head hurts. We’ll know a week from tomorrow I guess.

Idk man, regardless of when the bee sting happens or is revealed, Anthony still doesn't (in the book) choose Kate. Ever. He gets forced into being with her, so the show's only being consistent on that level. We've only seen the promo stuff, so we don't know what leads him to that point, if it happens that way. I think the entire point of a romance novel hero is that he gets broken down and made to be pathetic and you build him back up again. Him NOT choosing Kate, and being forced to marry her, is not the end of their story--him actively seeking her and conquering his conflict after their marriage is the actual growth point for him.

As for her having sex with him... Idk, if she feels like he and Edwina didn't actually want to get married lol it makes sense to me. She's horny, he's good in bed. Many of us have had sex with men in far more humiliating circumstances...

With accuracy, s1 didn't even vaguely reflect real life imo--it reflected romance!Regency. And even then, it was preeeeetty liberal. So who knows how it'll all go down, but they'll figure it out. It'll be fun.

I'm sure they'll spend the first 6 episodes on other things. They'll probably get married in ep 6. Maybe ep 7 at the latest (though the episode being named Harmony makes me think that's a honeymoon/fuckathon episode until the last minute when Anthony fucks shit up). Imo it's better pacing than Simon and Daphne breaking up at the end of ep 6, spending one episode fighting in a boring way, and then reconciling at the end of ep 8.

[foeniculi--vulpes]

omg all of them for spiced maple???

1- How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

spooning at unholy hours of dawn, tangled mess of limbs near midday. vesper makes a habit of checking alee's ears if they wake up first, to make sure the sleeping position won't hurt him. that's uh. the most i can say here at least-

2- How’s their team work? Do they share well?

uhhhhhhh they're. they're still working through things, they both have major trust issues after all; all things considered thouhg, they work very well together! don't wanna fuck with them AT ALL. and they do share nicely! ... between each other.

3- Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

idk abt alee but once they actually get to talking vesper is alwayssssss flaunting their perfect prettiest bf <3 super clingy in public too

4- First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

"fuck, another booze thief." no. no it wasn't.

5- Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

straight from the dms: "number one is obviously pretty boy, sometimes even "my pretty boy" if they're feelin a lil possessive. otherwise,,,,, precioso, cariño, hermoso, sunlight, sunshine, little fox, angel/ángel, dearest, darling, any variant of "pretty boy" anyone cld come up with, and my heaven/mi cielo"

6- Any tasks that are always left to one person?

vesper always kills the roaches. and the creeps at the bar. and alee is designated mealtime reminder.

7- What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

for ves it's the way he'll just. start fights. for no reason. they work through it eventually though !!

8- What do the like best about their partner?

"oh i'm SO GLAD you asked *pulls out 50 slide long powerpoint presentation*"

9- Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

not at this stage of the relationship, no. butttt later down the line:

ves knows and acknowledges alee's faith, doesn't get into it, eventually THEY get worshipped too

they get married like two/three years from now <3

they adopt some kids and some others they technically don't but like they might as well be their kids

they can't die. also alee eventually sorta befriends mieran bc i deserve it as a treat.

10- Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

vesper, both, both, both, vesper, vesper.

11- Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

SIDEEYES THE WAY WE CLDN'T DO SHIT ABT THEIR ANNI FOR EBG... ANYWAYS... they celebrate finalist holidays once alee makes xem aware of them !! and anniversaries for both relationship and eventual marriage.

12- Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

YESSSSSS two in fact !! a wedding for them and their friends where they get like. legal married. and a wedding afterwards for the clans bc lucero wanted margarita and paloma to fight over the bouquet. vesper proposes !! takes alee stargazing away from the loud city and asks him to marry xem, genuinely, no flirting, no tricks, no spectacle, just an honest request for a shared life. the honeymoon is at paris, they're j cute ^^

13- What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

*sweats* ahem, they like doing a bunch of things! s/o to hanging out at the bar and highly dangerous bike rides <3

14- Anything they both dread?

their respective clans and "dark sides" getting in the way of their relationship

15- How adventurous are they?

Very.

16- Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

secrets? some, both. lie? not really on vesper's end, can't say the same about alee though. neither ever cheat though <3

17- What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

over "this past year" they've had their falling outs... but as you can see, not truly apart! they never actually break up

18- What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

varied, but they can always fall back on netflix and chill (in both sense of the saying). it was a year a few days ago! and nah, breaks were over fights, not "suffocation"

19- What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

"trauma mostly" in mimi's words, they're rough, brash, cold, hot, and painful. they make up eventually, with either of them breaking down and apologizing...

20- What does their home look like? Their room?

very pretty ask mimi he made it on the sims

21- Do they share any interests or hobbies?

alcohol??? spell studies... nothing particular

22- Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

if anything, it aids it...

23- How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

tightly, warmly, like they don't wanna let go, probably bc they don't.

desperately, hungrily, asking for more.

with no bite, with love, with care.

dangerously, teasingly, to the point, with a need.

simply. with love.

24- Any doubts about the relationship?

nah. not at this point.

25- How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

they basically live together! but they're not. the MOST open abt their feelings.

26- How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

their friends are very happy about their relationship !! their families... well, the mixtios and garcias don't really mind... can't say too much of the same about the destans though

27- Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

so !! many !! kids !!! they don't. grow old. because they don't age. but they remain together forever <3

28- What are their vacations like?

horny...

29- How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

healer heals !! and ves does xyr very best with what alee has taught him.

30- Could they manage a long distance relationship?

no fucking way lol

31- Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

"huh, i never even-" " 'considered that?' yeah, we do."

possibly?? mimi what do you think. eventually they know :') <3

32- Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

they're criminals. what do you THINK.

33- What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

everythinggggggg and anytime !!

34- Do they have any pets?

a kitty and a puppy eventually ;;<3

35- Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

the best, they become the better versions of themselves thanks to one another

36- What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

their unity; if they could die for each other they would. their lack of communication... so once they're done w that they're basically unstoppable.

37- How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

anything, really. though w ves it's mainly. yk. ed stuff. they'd rather avoid

38- What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

i'm like 80% deliverance over here can take care of that one.

39- Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?

alee asked vesper out, but ves kissed him first! idk, i'm p sure vesper didn't like. Find Out yk??? they j sorta knew at some point.

40- Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

so many... so many <3

41- Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

kinda, yeah !! vesper's uh. clingy. to say the least. takes a bit to get xem drunk though.

alee is an alcoholic.

42- Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

sometimes !! such as fucking stalking

43- Do they talk often? What about?

anything. everything. they gossip a lot methinks. french 🤝 argentinian

44- Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

very much so !! vesper still would rather do xyr merc work alone, and i'm p sure alee wants privacy for practicing finalism stuff.

45- Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

"that they never hurt us or get in our way again.", it's on ves' wedding vows

[make-me-imagine]

congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao. 

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. 

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut: 

Criminal Minds: 

I ship you with Hotch. 

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”. 

How you met + his first impressions: 

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you. 

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do). 

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game. 

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv. 

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game. 

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time. 

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about. 

Best Friend: 

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well. 

-

Marvel: 

I ship you with Sam. 

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well. 

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before. 

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you. 

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off. 

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info. 

What you did on your first date: 

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out. 

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff. 

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together. 

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT). 

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.  

Best-Friend: 

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw. 

xxaaron

[pumpumdemsugah]

The only thing I could do with my discomfort was to work through it. Maybe if I clocked in my teens I could of been more gentle with myself but I didn't and I'm glad, even if I still there's more I can do for myself .I didn't want to feel anything and I was fine not feeling anything because ( and looking back) it meant I was free from "feeling" for men or being near them. It didn't occur to me that I could be without men even though I often was and I was suspiciously never boy crazy . It just felt like an ineffabile certainty to being a woman

A few years ago I had just come to a brick wall that let me know I did feel things and not for the people i thought i should . I don't even remember how I fell into reading stuff by lesbians but I kept seeing myself and that scared me.

All the more it makes the whole wanting to be a lesbian is a symptom of being a lesbian very confusing and honestly its rather fetishising like this other post pointed out and leaves room people who instead of trying to be comfortable in your sexuality, use lesbianism as a crutch for their identity issues which is fairly evident by your average lesbian positivity type blog. Those blogs have nothing to do with being a lesbian and more creating a spectacle around it. It's very divorced from living and being

Idk why I never made the connection between the weird behaviour around if you want to be a lesbian type train of thought cause I genuinely don't get it outside very specific urban areas that are super liberal how a person like that can exist or maybe someone very immersed and knowledgeable about issues and who is figuring out their sexuality is drawn to lesbians but it still doesn't feel the same as a want . Maybe because of how much I was told off for using the word want for needs, that "want" feels out of place when it comes to lesbian sexuality.

I didn't want anything, I just was what I was and it didn't matter what I felt about that or wanted , I was that