#Idk I was in a relationship for one Valentine’s Day and it sucked bc I wished him a happy Valentine’s Day and he ranted ab how it was a

[honeynclove]

idk ik people don’t like valentines bc corporate holiday rahahhah but i just like it as a day to love my friends and love my family and love my fictional characters and wear cute pink and red outfits and skip around giving red velvet cookies and be happy idk

[binders-and-beanies]

No literally like I already made a post abt this but. People keep asking me my valentines plans and then being like “wow it must be nice to have someone who loves you 🙄 you know this holiday is just a scam to make money and romance is patriarchal and dead 😒” like damn sorry for mentioning one of the most significant people in my life especially if you asked? But last year when I was single I wasn’t allowed to say “I <3 valentines day and all but it does feel a lil lonely being surrounded by love when all my recent attempts at relationships have ended as reminders of my disabled loneliness” without it being a “let people enjoy things” situation. Idk it feels like a running theme in my life where I have to suck up all my feelings but no one has to let *me* enjoy things bc their feelings are my responsibility

[seeyoumondaydevi]

Sorry you've probably answered these a few times I haven't come across any info on reading some. Do you have any new prediction on S3 of NHIE? 🙂

Hii thanks for the ask :) I know I said I won't answer asks till 13th.. but I wanted to answer this lol. I don't have like actual proper theories I’m just trying to avoid coming up with theories about writers butchering Paxton's character for love triangle drama or Paxton and Devi's inevitable break up. There are so many things I want for the season that it clouds my prediction making abilities lol. Soo anyways.. The episode titles for season 3. Here.

Season 3 Episode 1:.. Been Slut Shamed

Table read links for those who haven't read it yet.

Season 3 Episode 2:.. Had My Own Troll This episode is obviously about the anonymous person DMing Devi. She probably constantly receives texts and images from this person, especially about her relationship with Paxton thus making her insecure. If the writers want drama, she won't go to Paxton about it.. she'll try to figure out who it is and what Paxton is "hiding". Eleanor and Fabiola are definitely a gonna help her, Aneesa I'm not sure. She'll probably go behind Paxton's back and this will all blow up.. it's gonna suck esp bc Paxton said he trusts her this time in 3x01 and Devi going behind his back again? Or if the writers don't want some messy drama, she'll directly go to Paxton about this troll.

Season 3 Episode 3:.. Had a Valentine Devi probably is still receiving the texts, but it's valentines day.. we hopefully get to see daxton go on a date and see the actual date. Also there is no way Mindy isn't not gonna make Ben x Aneesa and Daxton go on a date.. Ben and Devi probably banter or have a moment which makes Paxton and Aneesa feel awkward or uncomfortable. Darren (here) said the love triangle is gonna be "up down and all around and I promise you it is not going to be boring” So I think this episode is gonna have some of that love triangle drama.

Season 3 Episode 4:.. Made Someone Jealous So many possibilities for this one? Aneesa and Paxton being jealous or insecure about the "moment" Ben and Devi had at their double date, or Ben being jealous of Daxton, or the new kid Des.. both Ben and Paxton are jealous of him? bc Darren said he's like the Indian Paxton and another article mentioned Des is as smart as Devi but goes to a private school. Probably more love triangle or love square drama. Still from 3x04 👇🏾

Season 3 Episode 5:.. Been Ghosted Again so many possibilities. I feel like Devi was trying to play it off and not reply to the DMs she’s been receiving but in the previous ep she probably replied and the texts stopped all together.. like the anonymous person texting her just started ghosting her?  Ben could also be the one ghosting her. Or.. Paxton too.. so like there is this pic of s3 table read the cast had via zoom.. it wasn’t streamed but one of the writers had uploaded this pic and in that zoom meet/break room all the writers present, Darren and Poorna were the only cast members on the call, so like what if Paxton had another horrible encounter with Nalini similar to season 1 which scared him off?

Season 3 Episode 6:.. Had a Breakdown  I’ve read lot of posts and theories and it’s probably Ben’s POV episode.  It could also be Aneea’s POV-centric episode bc in s1 we had a Ben POV episode narrated by Andy but we also had Fab and Eleanor centric-ish eps.. McEnroe narrated those.. probably something similar? It could even be Devi having a full on breakdown, Devi has lost her shit a lot yes, but I don’t think we’ve seen her actually have a break down or acknowledge that she’s having one. It could even be Nalini having a breakdown who knows.

Season 3 Episode 7:..Cheated Bro don’t even get me started on this one. I just really hope it isn’t Devi cheating on her boyfriend.. again. Idk she probably cheated in a test or sum? But all we know is that Des is in the episode

Season 3 Episode 8:.. Hooked Up With My Boyfriend So look, my trust issues is telling me the ‘boyfriend’ is not Paxton.. Do I want it to be Paxton? Yes. But I won’t be surprised if it’s not Paxton. If it actually is Paxton I’d be surprised bc I thought Mindy would break them up in like 2 episodes.. 

Season 3 Episode 9: No title I know this episode doesn’t have a title, but I found a BTS pic here. You can also see few guys in suits? 

Season 3 Episode 10: No title  Again, no title but based on the BTS here. All we know is it’s something big, they wrapped in Malibu.. it could be prom but Poorna and Richa on set. It could be a family thing but Hanna(Shira) was on set too. Both Hanna(Shira) and Maitreyi(Devi) were getting glammed up soo.. 

[icharchivist]

ahh... an early valentines day! the last event :0 before act 2!!! like i said, i'd do it before the new year! I’m so hype for a tenma and homare event it’s not even funny. they are some of my favs. i was so confused when they said masumi yuki juza and tasuku have worked at the actors cafe before but then later i realized like. there was probably an actor cafe banner and stuff. mostly i realized this bc i saw yukis outfit, went HOLY SHIT and then remembered!!!! this event!!!!! this event ran when i started a3en!!!!!!! i checked the poster for one day princess and i remember doing that event as well!!! i had the juza ssr for that event!!! crazy... oh speaking of event outfits i know this card was not a part of this event but yukis actor cafe card is one of my FAVORITES. i just think the yellow looks so good on him as does his hair in that card. when i was doing the event missions or whatever i remember he'd pop up and i was always like "ah wow... yukis extra charming in this outfit"

anyways actual chronological thoughts as usual.

homare: oh? you have barely touched your carrot salad, tenma. allow me to finish it up for you.

tenma: thanks, arisu. sorry for always making you do this

me, wiping tears from my eyes: homare you are so so incredibly loving.

its like man... homare u are so. i know why you thought you were incapable of building relationships but u are sooooo good at loving people it makes me feel crazy. anyways i feel tenmas pain. im also picky about food. this is why i learned how to cook. oh but back to my point abt homare like when hes dragging hisoka to the vday shift and hisoka is like "pick me up more gently, arisu" that got me. like wow he is just carrying him around. makes me feel emo but also makes me think. does homare have muscles. side note does everyone in a3 call homare arisu? ive noticed it from tenma and hisoka but am unclear if thats the case for everyone. if it is then it does indeed make a lot of sense why his name is alice in the group chat. whether its just a couple of people or everyone i think its cute anyways.

tenma going "making sweets will be a cinch." is so funny to me tho like I do not believe that tenma is anything other than an unmitigated disaster when cooking. same with homare. it seems like they went thru the process with minimal disaster but they would obviously not be good when left to their own devices lmao.

i do think its sweet that tenma seems to actually like make an effort to eat some of the chocolate that gets sent to his agency? instead of just letting it rot or whatever. idk. its nice. also love how often ppl (me) just forget tenma is super famous. like its really easy to forget. the lil test acting skits they did were so fun! i thought homare and tenma executed their prompt excellently. and taichi with fifanialpalpero tanaka... hes so funny. tsuzuru's writer brain making him lose his mind during it was also great. i bet citron would ace this kind of thing tho.

actual day of... the giant rose display for homare makes me think his publisher must love him. I rly want to know what homares published work is like since he does seem. somewhat popular. like thats so interesting to me.

man. it sucks that like. tenma doesn’t get to act though like :/ poor kid. doesn't get to give out the chocolates he helped make either like man. he went so far out of his comfort zone to do comedy for the summer troupe and u forget it bc it’s like. oh he does such a good job! but then it’s like… he can’t really do all these fun acting challenges the way everyone else can. like for the longest time he never rly super challenged himself to do improv before summer etc. but i also think a part of it must be like. did he ever really get the opportunity. any other troupe would've been like oh my god, thats TENMA SUMERAGI. also that part in act 1 where tenma’s dad punched him and we just forgot abt it. makes me feel crazy. 100% accurate to how middle schoolers / high schoolers would act about it though. it was at this point that i reread pt 26 and 27 of act 1 summer because my god... im going to cry about it for real. like tenmas SUCH a character im content to just see him bicker a lot of the time bc its fun and nice but hes also so. yeah... the way kazunari starts of the ch by offering up his opinions (and theyre good opinions!!!) and that like line of him being more confident in offering opinions will go through to sardine search... the way that tenma's like. mm. i gave my agents contact instead of my parents. whatever. and he also refused a movie offer. and the way hes like no worries i'll go talk to my dad. i'll be back for sure. and he ends up like convincing his father and talks abt his like one previous experience with stage acting and its like... oh this is just a kid who is trying his best to become a better person. gahhh. anyways i dont want to retread over past a3 stuff too much... though i definitely sent shorter asks back then, huh.... wonder how my act 2 messages will look like now hahaha. back to the actual event. hisoka that’s an INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED balloon object. that cake... at first i was thinking to myself like "how do i justify this as assassin training like its a wild skill but unless he was doing some crazy espionage why would he have this skill. well ok maybe thats enough actually some wild spy/assassin experience. alternately he worked in a murderous circus, an option i'm only presenting for the kinda rhyme and bc its funny to me personally" BUT THEN homare says "hm, hisoka did mention that he took a position as a part time balloon artist a while back" which i'd say is even WILDER than any of my conjectures about what his pre-amnesiac life was like because who, post-amnesia, chooses to do that as like. hmm well now that I’ve got no idea what to do with my life guess I’ll work part time as a balloon artist. gotta get money for marshmallows somehow. that's what you decide to go for???

ah and then tenma coming in to save the day with that rose idea!! they don't really touch on it but i imagine the crowds wouldve gotten WORSE with him showing up tho haha... i guess homares publisher brought a truly insane amount of roses. its so funny seeing ppl faint over tenma. such a contrast to his usual vibes. when he showed up though i genuinely thought to myself like in my head "ahh… he’s our reliable leader after all, isn’t he?" like oh my god. i'm not a member of the summer troupe. but tsuzuru going "you really showed us why you’re the summer troupes leader" made me be like :) hehe. we agree.

oh and then the cg!! homare giving tenma carrot cake was so sweet. it was just such a pleasant event and cg i think. their dynamic/relationship is so nice actually. it’s... just nice to see tenma being doted upon if that makes sense? like i think its great that he gets to be made fun of like. in a way i think that goes a long way in terms of making him be more comfortable but its also nice to see this as well. and izumi made everyone chocolate… how sweet of her!! i thought it was cute that tenma thought the chocolate was just for him lol... mb he thought it was a thanks for his rose save at the cafe? but lol. no of course she'd make chocolates for everyone. oh my favorite part though was when that last part ended and it cut to the app and i IMMEDIATELY recognized shoutai... was that ur bg music for the a3en server? thats so lovely. speaking of music i have been looping carry on (we'll be here when you get back) so much this past week. such a fun song. for act 2... i dont think i'll get through it in one stretch of time... so you’ll probably get multiple asks if that’s alright lol?

OMG YOU ACTUALLY DID IT! YOU FINISHED ACT ONE BEFORE NEW YEAr!! I'm impressed you really did amazing there omg!!

I'm so thrilled to see you were thrilled ahah. And yeah, there were a few events which were banner-only with the backstages being acknowledged in future story (for exemple, in Blazing Beach Summer, Juza and Omi are both seen using motorbikes. It's because there was a special biker banner for Tasuku, Juza and Tenma, and Juza's story was especially highlighted with Muku's freaking out about Juza taking up biking and Omi being a little uncomfortable because… You know…. Nachi….). The actor coffee thing def happened with those guys back then.

And OMG!!! this is when you started it!!! man, how it all comes back somehow. But i FEEL YA Yuki's outfit looks SO good. So so so good and charming.

Onto the thoughts!

AND GOD YEAH HOMAREEEEE. You're so right, it shows Homare's loving side so much. Like Homare is really always doing so much for the people he loves, he cares for them, he gives them so many words and poems to express his love, and most of all, he gives as much service as possible he can. And i think it also explains why he's so hard on himself when he can't be of help and it must mean he doesn't love enough, while it's just, he loves so damn much if it is what has him worry… He's just so good. so caring. RIP for your picky eating, at least it fits with Tenma just fine ahah

And DLKFJDf Hisoka's scene is so cute. Homare is really doing everything for this DIVA. Good question about Homare's muscles, i would assume he doesn't but i think he must have a descent built still? One of the later act 3's play Homare is a lead at is a ballet event and this requires a lot of body control to even manage, so i would suspect he's pretty descent still??? That said in Autumn/Winter camp event Tasuku does mention that his whole team is just as strong as a twing except maybe Hisoka, but Hisoka being asleep all the time means he's a wild card, and the rest of Winter is only good at psychological warfare. Schrodigner Muscular Arisu. As for the name i think it depends on people, i don't think it's that wide spread, and also there could be a case of his phone nickname influencing how people end up nicknaming him outside of it. But it's pretty sweet Tenma calls him Arisu too.

AND LMAOOOOOO. I totally agree as far as cooking goes. i would be inclined to believe Homare could cook well if he didn't make "artistic choices" on the way. And for Tenma i think he could have some rafined knowledgeable stuff (like how he lectures Yuki on cleaning the Rice in the first summer story), but he probably hasn't done anything too complicated ever. I believe they're disaster in the making.

TENMA IS SOOO GOOD, he's really trying his best for everyone. And i do love how everyone forgets that as well. Itaru has a minichat at some point about how he saw an Ad with Tenma in it and then came back home to see Tenma be silly and he mentions how much he forgot Tenma was this famous but how much he loved to see Tenma being the way he is in Mankai. Another funny "famous" moment is a Banri minichat saying he saw Tenma's face on a canned soda and found it so funny and wanted to support him so much he bought it, but when he went to the fridge to put his drink in it he saw a huge amount of those canned drinks with different name labels on them in the fridge, meaning others people at the dorm had the same idea. It's just. So funny to me that Mankai either forget he's famous or when they remember they're being so teasy about it.

Their acting this event was so damn cuteeee yes. they all did their best and that's amazing.

AND YEAH FOR HOMARE. He's really popular it seems and his work is really beloved a lot. I really want to see some of his work as well too. Tbh though i always keep thinking about my English Poetry Teacher in uni who went on to tell us that Real Poetry Lovers listens to and read poetry in language they don't understand only to try to feel the vibes from the sounds of it. I was bewildered to meet someone with this opinion IRL and it made me go "wait so the fact Homare is famous oversea as is hinted in have a great trip is… like….. actually realistic??? Poetic nerds are just like that???" it still drives me insane.

YEAH POOR TENMA. It's so sad to see that he can't just approach acting the same way as everyone else yknow? Mankai gave him a lot of opportunities at normalcy and at trying things he couldn't try out as a famous actors but there are still limits due to his fame and that's so sad. Mankai makes him feel so normal at times i wonder how isolating it must be when his past reality comes back and settles in. But yeah god. With what happened with his dad. fucking awful. And yeah i feel you for Tenma :( He went through a lot and his arc was just so. so damn good early on, and i think his story especially is one that works so well with the retrospective aspect of remembering just how far he's come. He's so. So good. I can't wait to see how your act 2 rambles shape up after all this :3c

YEAH HISOKA. Wait no "murderous circus" thE FURTHER AWAY OUR HISOKA FROM THE ONE WHO SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED THE BETTER WE ARE!!! I think though that, Hisoka is just very good at picking up new skills. I feel like the balloon artist thing is more recent but definitely because he's pretty good at picking stuff up from a longer time. And yes, money for marshmallows. …. and gifts, actually because Hisoka is so cute. In the valentine's backstage and in some birthday backstage Hisoka mentions he picked up some work especially so he can pay back the people who took care of him by spoiling them a little as well. Basically you can expect that the plushy he got Sakuya is bc of that as well. He's so good…. even if it's weird stuff to do!!!

TENMA'S PLAN WAS SO GOOD YEAH. I can imagine people snapped pictures on instagram/Twitter or something and the cafe got flooded. But yeah tbh, i'm so used to Tenma being both bullied (lovingly) by the Summer Troupe and him being respected for his serious hard work and his input on things that i totally forgot that he was like. THE Teen star people love because of other reasons it's so off from his vibes. I love that for him. But yes. He truly is our reliable leader. We're all honorary summer troupe members when we get to beam with pride over Tenma's development. Our Boy!!!

THE CG IS SOOO CUTE IMO. I guess Tenma&Homare make this good duo of, both famous people with established fanbase but who didn't get an opportunity to create deep friendships because of their difficulties with articulating their feelings and reading the room, so all they had is this fame and not much more, but now they have people to really back them up and they can bloom and improve on the stuff they struggled with. And with Tenma being his youngster and Homare still learning from the "put yourself in his shoes" advice, i could imagine Homare connecting to Tenma and dotting him even more thanks to that. Winter have similar storybeats to Summer imo but with the aspect of, it's been so long since they are going through their pain that it's harder to unlearn their coping mechanisms, while Summer can adapt and bloom as long as they're well guided. I feel like it shows in the Winter/Summer dynamics like, say, Azuma and Yuki's whole thing. And for Homare and Tenma it just, works so organically and sweetly and it's just so nice to see them interreact like this. And Tenma being doted on by Homare is so so sweet. (would make you forget Homare destroyed one of Tenma's bonsai in a backstage. By trying to help, but. yeah. Rip king.) And yeah for Tenma being made fun at making him more comfortable like, the boy really needed to learn from the catharsis of comedy didn't he.

Izumi is SOOO cute at that. Tenma is being cute at that but goodness.

AND HELPPPPP. Yeah personally i had Shoutai set up as my background music, with Unmask, Usotsuki wa Mahou no Hajimari, es no Yuutsu and Pride of the Knights kind of rotating after that. Shoutai was always the 1 song i always had though!

And omg! so glad you like this song, it's sooo catchy! i really end up looping it a lot too it's soooo so good.

And sure!! i def think you'll prob be better to take it bit by bit, even if by the end you end up making a quick synthesis of everything.

Of course i'm okay with many asks are you kidding me, i'm so excited about you starting act 2. I fucking love act 2 i want all of your thoughts. It'll be fun, i cannot wait :D please do send as many ask as your heart's content!

Thank you sooo much once again for the detailled message <33

it's going to be new year in about 10 mins for me, so, happy new year!! onto a new year and more messages hopefully ;D Wishing you well in the meantime <333

[kingkatsuki]

Okay so Sleazebag!Kiri around Valentine’s Day….

He breaks up with you just two weeks before Valentine’s Day, texting you shit like “it’s not gonna work out” or “I just need to focus on myself rn” just so he doesn’t have to buy you anything for Valentine’s Day. I can also see him still frequently texting, making sure nobody has touched or tasted “the best piece of ass he’s ever had” but in reality he’s just making sure you haven’t moved on from him.

Fast forward to Valentine’s Day and your sitting on your couch, eating a tub of ice cream while watching The most cheesiest romance movies, crying about how that should’ve been you and all of your shoulda, woulda, coulda’s of your relationship with kiri. Constantly checking your phone to see if he’s texted that this was all a prank and he’s outside your front door with gifts. Sadly for you, it doesn’t happen.

You wake up the next morning with a good morning text from him. You don’t answer to the text because you were still pissed at him and you wanted him to feel every once of what you’re feeling.

One week goes by with you ignoring him/ replying with one work texts like “yea, no, idk, idc… etc”. At this point Kiri was absolutely LIVID and was going to make you cave in and make you his all over again.

And it doesn’t help that he knows all of your weak spots, things that he does for you that makes you all mushy inside for him. He goes to the store to buy all of your favorite candies, junk food, flowers, you name it. Oh and believe me when I say he definitely knows what he’s doing, of course he does bc he’s sleazy.

When he shows up at your front door step you’re surprised. By seeing your favorite things all in his arms gave you enough patience to at least let him in and have a decent conversation. Of course you sit on the opposite side of the couch from him. He looked damn near godly the way he sat on the sofa with one arm layed across the back, manspreading almost half way across the couch. Of course he says little flirty things during talking like “why are ya’ sittin all the way over there? I swear I ain’t gonna bite cha’ unless ya ask” but that’s just how he is.

It only takes a few whispers in your ear to get you to crack to him. Next thing you know he’s in between your legs sucking on your clit like he just wants it to fall off.looking up at you while delivering kisses to your fluttering hole each time he says “m’ sorry baby, I ain’t mean to hurt cha’.” And “please gimme another chance”

Countless orgasms later, your spent. Kiri knows this because he did his very best to work you tonight to get back on your good side, and to add the icing on the cake he’ll help you shower

And you promised yourself that you wouldn’t end up like this. Back right where you started, laying in his arms, letting your last orgasm ebb away. But the way he fucked you, you might just give him a second chance…..

Also: can i be 🧈(butter) anon?

AHHH I AM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA!! It makes me wanna write a full fucking fic for it your brain is so big and juicy omg😫

Imagine though because you’re pissed he broke up with you and all your friends have cute dates on valentines that you started trying to find a date again, pushing yourself to try and find a cute guy. And of course, Kirishima finds out. He sees you sitting across from this guy that isn’t him in a coffee shop a few days after Valentine’s Day and he’s livid. There’s no way he’s going to lose you, especially not to a fucking idiot like that. And luckily for Kirishima he knows just what you like, and how deep down you’re still completely obsessed with him.

And Kirishima knows the moment he has you cumming on his tongue again that he’s hooked you right back in. This was amazing ahhh😍😍😍

[volfoss]

oh ho ho 💛

HI!!! I assign you...

Ash Crimson!

^worst little birthday boy u have EVER met

WHERE DO I EVEN START W ASH. so. hes like the kinda character thats like rude and kinda bitchy but rly lonely bc hes STUPID and isolates himself when there r problems. he literally is like yes. i, a 16 year old, can handle this rly big thing. <- i say all of this lovingly. im allowed to slander ash bc hes my bestie. hes like. everyone wants him dead and i FIRMLY believe he would pull the like im gonna instigate someone and when they come for me ill pull the im a little birthday boy card but then VIOLENCE and attack them. hes just a sillay goofy little guy but also like. god. hes just like really kinda annoying but i personally dont think its always an intentional thing. fave endearing ash traits- he gives his friends nicknames and is the bomb dot com at nail art. he also has a valentines day bday. hes just like french and rly obnoxious about it.

OK. time to go like. insane blorbo hours (if i say or think ANYTHING about kof xiii i give u permission to take me out back and shoot me). how he was like. presumably going from knowing Elisabeth (one of his current friends, i will get into that in a min) rly well as a child to like being very alone. ough. characters that are horrible but are like doing so to hide being lonely my beloveds. BUT i wanna talk abt how his relationship w his friends is bc if i remotely think about my bestie ash's childhood for one more minute i will lose it.

BUT i think its genuinely so nice to see like the fact that even his friends kinda like? idk tolerate him but in a way that they do care about him. not to um. bring up kof xiii but. the way duo lon (literally just a quiet lil guy) is like i will do ANYTHING to get ash safe. sobs. i just like. genuinely love how he interacts w them.

NEED u to look at this quote:

"Yeeowch. One thing you never lacked is strength. I mean that.... Merci, Betty!"

^LET ME EXPLAIN TO U WHY THIS DRIVES ME INSANE. this is his win quote and like. when he beats ANYONE else hes like wow u suck (insert french phrase here) but w elisabeth u can just tell he like actually cares about her and ough. in the entire tales of ash arc u can tell she does too bc she goes to so many lengths to help him. i just. ough. their friendship is EVERYTHING to me.

ACTUALLY HIS BEST feature is arguably his bump it styled hair (lovingly i think if he had a bump it in his hair it would just b a beehive) and his long ass sleeves. his entire outfit is SO good tho. ALSO his little hair twirling animations. that IS a stim and u cannot tell me otherwise. ALSO his freckles. i know in my heart he gets sunburnt easily.

BUT NOW. blorbo image moment.

^HUGE fan of this art! i think like idk. how he and Shen Woo gets along is fascinating but also ash literally is the kinda guy to have this lil moped. also. fave Ash win quote at Shen Woo: "Owee… Lighten up a bit, would you, Shen? I could have broken a nail!" like i think he is just goofy sillay around him and i love it. love when there r bestie hours SO much.

^ baby ash and elisabeth images from kof xiii that makes me cry scream and throw up each time i see them

^ actually. im just like tossing kof xiii images at u. screaming and crying and banging my fists on the floor. they are FRIENDS.

^ also like. my contender for funniest Ash image of all time. they put this guy in a fucking flannel and white v neck combo. love it. but like genuinely love this image love seeing Kula and Yuri at the table w them and them all having foods they like and like K' and Maxima in the bg as well as Mai and King in the far bg. i love this image.

^ SOBS. i love seeing like them having friendship hours esp w Duo Lon's hobby being mahjong like the fact hes teaching Ash and OUGH. sobbing. their friendship means the world to me like. ash deserves people that care about him this much and they DO. sobs

^ OBSESSED w his kof maximum impact regulation A outfit. this guy went to a hot topic and just grabbed shit and was like yup this will work cohesively (and it does)

^ litrally like one of my fave falcoon sketches of ash. this guy rly is out here in like an old fashioned little bathing suit and has an umbrella/parasol. i KNOW hes got the like wool bathing suit outfit. u cannot tell me that its a modern outfit etc

^ last but not least cute ending screen from kof 2003! duo lon doesnt smile a lot so v nice to see him n ash having a nice time!

[fizzingwizard]

personal life stuff venting etc (also tmi menstruation warning)

I'm feeling ok now, but the weekend was weird.

It's been very busy at work. Like, nonstop busy, no time to sit down, no time for a break. Mostly due to people being out sick and no subs. The rest of us have to pick up the slack, etc. It's gotten worse, though, because we have had days that we literally couldn't make ratio. We are just sending teachers to different rooms during the most difficult times and dealing with the ratio being off at quieter periods... It's so difficult to get crafts and stuff done this way. Usually this is my favorite time of the school year, my kids are as grown up as they'll get, and we can have so much fun. It's still fun, but mostly it's me and my co-teachers moving frantically from one thing to another. A lot of it is due to covid, of course. Just gotta hustle.

anyway. I really wanted to be on time updating Fox this weekend, and I wanted to finish my Valentines fic too. But Idk, I was in such a weird headspace. I just hate everything I make sometimes. But when I get that way and I don't write, I tend to lose momentum. It's happened a ton in the past. So this year I made a resolution to push through with writing projects even if they suck. So that's what I did, and I finished the chapter of Fox and I finished the Valentine's fic, and I wrote the majority of both of them over the space of two days. (Which I'm sure the amount of typos can attest to :P)

But I am not in love with the new chapter, even though it's one I was really looking forward to. It just feels off. And then the Valentine's day fic. I almost deleted it four or five times. Like, "closed the document and started to drag it to the trash bin" deleted it. The whole time I was writing it I was like really?? why is this what I'm writing?? it's not that I think it's so terribly awful, but kind of uninspired.

And then I wondered... could I be about to have my period? Bc I had expected it a whole week ago and it didn't come, but I'm often a little irregular so. Idk if I can blame my weird feelings while writing on hormones, but I just felt extra irritable, extra impatient the whole time, it was really frustrating. And then this morning I was indeed sucker-punched by my period. Which doubly sucked because today was HORRIBLE in terms of getting any down time at work xP I was in so much pain. In activity time I just said to my coworker "Let's have all sixteen of them sit down at the table and do coloring pages" (which works now that they have the attention span to sit there for a while lol). We were supposed to paint our solar systems but TOO BAD, Fizz's uterus has mutinied, she needs to freaking sit down for five min without getting up because someone dropped a spoon or bumped their head or needs to go to the toilet right this very second yadda yadda

also this weekend i got to video chat with both my parents at the same time. and boy that was weird. not gonna go into it right. but since the divorce any time we talk separately it feels bad. but they were hanging out together for the superbowl and it felt the same as when i was a kid. actually im tearing up now typing this. during the call i kept thinking how their divorce completely upended how i felt about marriage and relationships, and now seeing them together with things seeming so much the same even though they're so different is freaking me out all over again in a different way. thats neither here nor there but may also have been a factor in why my weekend was weird. by the way yeah im an adult and im behaving like a petulant kids re: my parents' divorce. i know i know.

anyway so I do think maybe hormones were part of it. but im also just generally feeling bad about writing lately. maybe its just that i hadnt done it for a good while, and when i finally got back into it was like a honeymoon period, and now im like wait this is supposed to be fun little escapism. i literally had to bargain with myself back in june when i posted my first fic in ages that i was going to write whatever i wanted, regardless of what other people thought of it, even if it was massively unpopular. i was going to be one hardass mofo who didnt give a shit. welp. unfortunately im still me lol. i know i can just rewrite the bits of those fics i dont like, im just frustrated that right now, i go in to edit and cant think of anything, its like my heads in a fog. words? i know some? haha. gonna keep blaming it on hormones tho.

this is just a vent post so no one take it too seriously. also i know these whiny posts about extremely small problems sound self-centered and are annoying so sorry about that. if i were smart id delete every post in my personal tag. i wont say im never self-centered but makes me feel better to write it down, and putting it on my blog so it's "out there" even if not a single person reads it (i dont really want anyone to, lol) makes it feel less locked away than just writing something private, if that makes sense.

as always im also absolutely swimming in blessings to the point that its seriously ridiculous i feel sad at all. but that's life. anyway i will get over it, probably by next week, lol

just noticed i stopped capitalizing things halfway thru haha

[yvainegelinemarie]

🖤🌸𝔐𝔯. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔎𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔞 2021 𝔙𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰 ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔡 ℜ𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔢𝔴 🌸🖤

I’m late I’m late for a very important dick appointment, date!

✨ 𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝐒𝖕𝖔𝖔𝐤𝖎𝖊𝖘!!~ ✨

Idk about ya’ll BUT these new karma cards got me all 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

TW: Proceed with cation!! Do NOT open if you do not wish to soak your panties and/or cry your eyes out at my appalling sense of ‘humor’ 

*Today I will be rating the new Valentines Day art for the Karma cards. The rating process was done by comparing them to their previous valentines day cards and how they went against one another on their level of sexyness within each card. 

🌸 𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓 | 7/10 | 2nd Place

⚰️ My daddy he be lookin fine a FOULK this evening with his tiddie out. My baby knows how to keep me fed if ya know what I’m sayin.😏💦

⚰️ This beautiful, breathtaking, princely, lavishing work of art!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHGHJTE5LILO; (srry, orgasim seizure). 

⚰️ It’s just *pats eyes with handkerchief* I have never in all my life, witnessed a man of this design. Please, don’t mind me. I just need a moment to bask in the glory of this angel. 

⚰️ The 💦water droplets💦, his bedroom eyes, that CHEST- I-I...I just need a moment...

⚰️ Lucien has once and always stolen my heart BUT I do have to say that based off of some past cards, last years valentines card, and compared to Victor’s card this year that my Lulu has to come in second. 🤧

⚰️ His sultry, princely and sexyness is all there but we all know that Lucien can pull off a very dominating demeanor. Yet here he’s just giving me very submissive vibes this valentines. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

⚰️ And then this card has the AUDACITY to turn into this?!?! 👀👀

⚰️ Sighhhh...It is just so hard to watch MC living your dream... 

⚰️ This card just looks so sweet. The carressing embrace, Lucien’s calmly surprised expression, it’s just all so gentle. awwwwwe!!

⚰️ Although this card is very romantic Lucien still looks very submissive and sweet. (Like homie looks like he’s never done this before which. LIES. BITCH I KNOW YOU) 👏🏼👏🏼

⚰️ One of the things I love the most about Lucien’s character is his very teasing and dominating aura and last years valentines card sucked that up and did a beautiful job of expressing his teasing personality in the artwork. I am hoping that maybe where this art is lacking the date itself will make up for it.

⚰️ I do find this card to be the second most sexy out of all the boys but I feel like it just doesn’t feel as Lucien as I would have liked it to. 

⚰️ I do however find the artwork to be very beautiful and embracing. Especially when the card is evolved. The way Lucien holds MC in the second card creates this very innocent and warm embrace that reminds me of two people just on the verge of falling in love.

⚰️ It is a very sweet and romantic card and it is quiet cute to see Lucien all blushing and off guard instead of his usual impassive self.

🌸 𝐊𝖎𝖗𝖔 | 6/10 | 4th place

⚰️ The bestest boi of them all!!! 🥰

⚰️ Litterally nothing gets sweeter than Kiro!!

⚰️ So sweet, so fun loving! This sunshine of a boi makes life worth living! ☀️☀️

⚰️ Kiro is definitely the one who shows up at just the right time to make life a little better and brings out the inner child that my sun in capricorn tries to repress so intensely. 

⚰️ And this card does that sweet and playful image justice. Always stay warm Kiro!!! AWWEEE!!!

⚰️ All I can say is I wish I was that dog so I can paw Kiro’s chest too. 🤭

⚰️ Now, It pains me to put Kiro last but it is just that I feel that his card lacks a lot compared to the valentines card from last year. 

⚰️  We were hit with a very sexy Kiro and there has been plenty of other very VERY sexy Kiro cards up to this one that it just causes this one to hit different, you know? 

⚰️ This one really captures Kiro’s loving and boyish personality so I definitely love it over all as a Kiro card. I think that it does wonderful in that aspect. But for valentines day? I expect something a bit more saucy...like an underwear model shoot maybe... 😜

⚰️ BUT THEN we get THISS!!

⚰️ S-Shirtless Kiro *Internal screaming* kahhhh!!! I can’t take it I. 😝

⚰️ Sometimes I forget just how HORNY Kiro issss.... 

⚰️ I think it’s safe to say that MC is only making that face NOT bc Kiro took that magazine but bc she be getting poked sitting in that lap like that.- 👀🍆

⚰️ Shirtless Kiro is an upgrade from what we had before BUT I still feel like this compared to the other guys and other very sexy kiro cards before that this still only gives a very innocnet and homey vibe.

⚰️ I do think that this card is very cute but when rating it on it’s quality of sexyness comapred to the other boys, I sadly have to put Kiro as last place. 

⚰️ I am just hoping that next year all the Kiro stans get rewarded with a nice Calvin Klein underwear shoot. (I know I’d be happy)😌😌

🌸 𝐕𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖗 | 8/10 | 1st Place

⚰️ Tall, dark, and handsome AS FOULK!!!

⚰️ Victor never comes in to play no games yall!!!  👏🏼💦

⚰️ Did I say Kiro was horny? because I take that back. Sometimes I forget how BADLYYY Victor is trynnnaaa FUCK in EVERYYY date. 💀

⚰️ But like I ain’t mad. First off, Victor, daddy, can I have that designer bag? I’ll suck your di- 

⚰️ Just the abs, that boujee ass robe even the cute ass fucking ties on his arm I-

⚰️ Victor be putting the standards for guys really fucking high in my book. AND I AIN’T MAD.

⚰️ I just love this card. It is honestly my favorite out of all of them (sorry Lulu) It’s mature, it’s sexy, it’s elegant, suttle, and EVERYTIME I look at it my heart flutters. This card is VERY Victor and a beautiful design of his character and it makes me VERY horny happy. 💦💦

⚰️ T-That angle... *blushes* He is ready to go to town if ya know what I mean.

⚰️ But given that facial expression he’s already busted it- 👀🤧

⚰️ On a real note tho. Victor looks so sweet and vulnerable here (*what a pussy) it’s so cuteee!!! Like I ain’t ever seen him look so sweet. (*fucking bitch.) 

*I have a love hate relationship with Victor since he always likes to piss me off!!! But he cute so.

⚰️ Again I think that this card is my favorite out of all four of the valentines cards this year. I feel like the intimacy in this one is there. The imagery is very sexy but soft. I love their pose and I think that this card sells where we all like our minds to wonder off too. 

⚰️ My absolutae favortie part is the simple pull on Victors unbuttoned shirt. It is just so sweet and so soft of an embrance.

⚰️But also Victor’s hand on the counter. I want that hand to smack my ass so hard fuck. 😋

⚰️ If I had to (and I do) make one complaint about this card it is that I honestly HATE Victor’s expression in the evoled. It’s just too soft and sweet for my liking. And as a Capricorn myself I can assure you that any slip up of us expressing even just the slightest bit of our vulnerability to anyone we will rip ourselves apart head to toe for years on that one single event and I assume that even during Victor’s most intimate times that stone cold look would not fade as easily as it does in this card. 

⚰️I think that it is beautiful and no hate to the Victor stans who think he looks hot AF in this card. I am all for it. I just personally like my capricorns whipped into shape. 😌

🌸 𝐆𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖓 | 7/10 | 3rd Place

⚰️ This one gave me the most and best shock.

⚰️ My favorite Gavin cards are by far this and his valentines card from last year. 

⚰️ There is just something about Valentines day that gets Gavin in a sexy mood. (you’re secretly a hopeless romantic, aren't you Gavin huh...huh???)😏

⚰️ First off, GAVIN!!! I ain’t ever seen you look so SEXY. Sending me Eboy vibes to the MAX ughhhhh!!!! 

⚰️ I love the straps on his shirt and the fact that it’s wet and the glove PULLLLL!!! FUCKK GAVINNNNN!!! 💦🔥💦

⚰️ Gavin for me is everything that’s hot that I just can’t get behind but I WANT to get behind. You know? haha.

⚰️ He’s just such a good boy and a sad boi all at the same time and he holds a soft place in ma heart (but he’s definitely a one night stand and then I never call him again haahaaaa ahhhh) 🤧

⚰️ And then this card!! It is so cute! SO sweet!!! and just very beautifully intimate. They look so in love!!!

⚰️ I just know for a fact that this night is very gentle and very passionate. 

⚰️ S3x with Gavin may not be intense, but it is love that we all at one point need okayyy!!. *cries* 🥲

⚰️ Gavin’s card is probably my 3rd favorite out of all of the boys this year. I do really love his pose and they are very sexy and very sweet and also very Gavin for his event cards. I also enjoy that his expression is still very true to his character in the last card (I’m looking at you lulu and vic) 

⚰️ I just feel like the art lacks a lot of story in Gavin’s cards (even his ones last year too) They just look like they took valentines day photos together lol. 

⚰️ I don’t hate them and they are very beautiful I just wish there was more going on then what looks to be like Gavin modeling for a brand of Makers Mark Whiskey lol. 

⚰️ I actually haven’t played a single Gavin date🤭...so I don’t have much to say on how he reacts to MC outside of the regular story line and I am sure that his valentines date for our English Sever with him was very wonderful. Based off of Gavin’s main story character I wouldn’t consider him very romantic or at least not the one in control of planning their dates. I think that of all the boys Gavin’s Valentines would be the most laid back and I would like to see more of Gavin’s character coming through with the artwork of these dates if that’s the case.

ENDNOTES: 

⚰️  On a serious note these cards are very beautiful although...I think I honestly enjoyed last years Valentines cards more than this one (the ones we got this year in the english server)... (omg...no way...she said it)

⚰️ Don’t get me wrong! All these cards are VERY sexy and I do like it but I feel like they almost lack intensity that last year SOLD us. 

⚰️ I guess what I am trying to say is they all feel too vanilla if you know what I mean... Gavin’s card is the only one that gives me a sense of spice despite him being the sweetest out of all the boys. I just feel that these in comparison to how lavish last years cards were that I want to see more intensity. 

⚰️ I am curious to know if the cards will ever get to that point (I know that the game wont give us full blown porn scenes...*sigh* lol) but I am looking forward to seeing some imagery to withhold the imagination of such. 

⚰️ Basically I’m sad that Lucien had no scratch marks. That-That’s it! You caught me!! I just want to see my daddy’s skin all scratched up!! Is that too much to ask for?! 

⚰️ ALSO I WANT FULL SHIRTLESS (WITH NIPPLES) SSR CARDDDSSSSSSS AHHHFGJGKRIGKECGHGERMCHM!!!!

⚰️ This is all written for shits n giggles. Please take this lightly and kindly let me know what karma card you liked the most. 

Thank you for stopping by, 🖤 Yvaine. 

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[kittybellestark]

Spider-Man far from home and black panther please!!!

Thanks for being so amazing :) <333

Hi love !!! Hope you’re having a great day !

Spider-Man Far From Home: Share Something About Yourself

Okay so i’ll give a lil tiny about me thing again bc I haven’t done this since like i hit 100 and im just above 150 now

so hiii i’m Lexie, i’m 22. When I interact with y’all in replies, likes, asks (tho i typically do that on anon and just tag myself) and follows it’s going to be with my main account @lexieelouuu11 bc tumblr sucks and doesn’t let me follow/interact with this one

I just finished my second year of college in Business Admin. I think after i get my diploma I’m going to go get my masters and then do poli-sci for international relations, but honestly idk if i wanna be in school that long. I had been accepted into the Disney International College Program, but because of COVID it got cancelled twice, which sucks bc I would have been able to go to Disney World for the first time ever and get to live, work and go to school there.

I have a brother, he’s cool, we’re buddies. He actually burst into my room when I went to start answering this and hung out for like ever, it was great. Also 3 cats, and I love them all dearly. I actually have a cat tree in my room so they’d stop crawling on my laptop.

uuh I have the same birthday as comic-Peter, that’s August 27th. I’ve had at least 8 concussions i think, I’ve also broken all my fingers and toes, my one arm, and my nose lol. Most of those were sports injuries. I used to do bowling, basketball and roller derby. I also was in drama club and improv as well as a bunch of leadership programs in school and in the community, which I feel explains how i do absolutely nothing now. 

I also had surgery but like, it was just upper and lower jaw reconstruction. i almost died from that but it’s fine I went to my prom 4 hours out of the hospital high on morphine and oxy (both were prescribed, don’t do illegal drugs). I’m allergic to weed and I used to go to University of Toronto, but quit and decided going into English there was not for me. And now im currently unemployed.

Yeah i think that’s all the important stuff about me without going too personal ?? None of that was in a good order, sorry lol I just answered the way I think 

Black Panther: What your favourite fic that you’ve posted?

mmmm idk i got a love hate-relationship with all my fics rn, but like i’ve just got those thoughts rn so like blegh. 

So i think maybe rn it’s in between Valentines Day, which is the last parkner fic I’m writing for the next little while, and probably Falling Apart At the Seams which I still haven’t posted the last chapter yet bc them thoughts, but like last chapter soon, but yeah idk it’s the first time i really did a bio dad Tony, and explored a lot of emotions on Tony’s side.

Anyway’s y’all can send me an mcu fanfiction ask :) and i’ll answer

[dilfbatman]

Hey!:) Do you have any hc for eros!Percy?

I LOVE EROS!PERCY

—

- okay so i personally love the og myth of eros being a primordial god rather than the son of aphrodite & mars so that’s what i’m gonna do and NO hoo eros bc that was not it....... idk what rr did there for real but anyways

- percy as a son of eros would essentially be my lifeline due to the fact that he is insanely beautiful while being very competent in combat while having high intelligence & extreme power bc being the son of a primordial god is PEAK

- at camp he used to be in the hermes cabin but everyone was confused bc come on...... he BELONGS in the aphrodite cabin but there’s something different about him - almost otherworldly & somewhat ancient but then you see him wearing bright blue crocs and jorts and you’re like no. this king is from the Modern Era (say that how justin mcelroy would say it)

- but then ofc the whole war against titans happens and he gets officially claimed by eros and everything kinda falls into place - and as a child of eros here’s some of his powers:

- he can radiate beauty and stop his enemies from fighting him even while he charges them head on (yes that’s real it’s michael kahale’s power)

- he has amokinesis meaning he can control emotions of love & desire but he never uses it bc he doesn’t wanna make someone be w someone they don’t wanna be w

- however something a son of eros CAN do is manipulate effortlessly - using your beauty and your intellect to gain information? sneak around and get let off because you use your powers & leave everyone in a cloudy haze? yeah that’s iconic and he DOES do that during fights & in his day to day when someone is being a dick to him or his friends

- i imagine a black widow type-esque vibe but better knddjdn like super beautiful but insanely powerful & intelligent! my brown king can do scissor kicks and choke bad guys out w his thighs and he’s valid and i will support him

- he has mastered the skill of archery and often trains w the sons of apollo (a hunter group similar to the hunters of artemis) & he joins their group and gets through the ranks to have a more higher/powerful position

- now i love the idea of percy being someone people can go to when they need help - he helps people w their family/friend issues, he helps people find self love, he gives relationship advice & friendship advice - he’s just someone everyone trusts & admires! and it helps to look at a pretty face hehe

- one time on valentine’s day he wore a white shirt w the word “LOVER” printed in red with red rimmed heart shaped sun glasses and blue jeans w heart patterned white vans while he’s sucking on a strawberry flavored heart shaped lollipop and a huge smile/smirk on his face and you know what - he absolutely KILLED it! he gives everyone roses and compliments and this is an excuse for him & the camp to eat a plethora of candy <3 it’s a day where he can enjoy being a son of eros while making EVERYONE’S day brighter :’)

[banglatown]

21 tips i’ve learned in my 21 years for relationships

MAKE! YOUR! INTENTIONS! CLEAR! if you do not want a committed long-term relationship, pls make it known, your wants and needs are valid, do not feel pressured into a commitment you are not ready for, if they respect you, they will understand.. not to mention; you can always change your mind, just remember to communicate!

do not just assume someone is your significant other .. use your words and TALK TO THEM .. other human beings do not exist for you to project onto them, if you’d like them to be your significant other, ask .. they might just say yes lol

less serious .. but if anyone ever asks you to turn on your location for them on snapchat ... don’t . just don’t . trust me that it is an unhealthy tool to utilise .. on either side .. snap is creepy and will let the person who has your location on know what you’re doing at tht exact time .. honestly 🚩 the moment they ask but if you want more of an explanation, it will let them know if you’re asleep... if you’re listening to music.. if it’s raining where you are... if you’re driving.. if you’re on a bus.. and of c the last one, when you were last active 🙃 just don’t, okay

for god’s sake, if you buy your significant other something, that’s great, cool, fine, don’t constantly bring it up over and over again .. whether it’s how hard you worked to get it, how much trouble you went through to get it, or how expensive it was... no, just stop .. don’t .. it’s so crass .. and i promise you, they’ll probz never want you to buy them anything ever again .. so .. just give the present and Go

IF they make apparent to you that valentine’s day is something they want to celebrate... I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABT WHAT COMMERCIALISED HOLIDAY DO RE MI FAH SO LA LA LA .. you fucking participate.. if they mention valentine’s day more than TWICE .. they rly want you to at the very least acknowledge valentine’s day w them .. don’t be that ‘valentine’s day is a commercial jssuejjejwksjd-’ prick, no, friendly reminder that this is why no one likes you .. if you feel tht the person you love wants you to acknowledge hearts day w them .. just do it fgs ..

no. 1 cuntiest thing you can do is to assume someone has free time, no, no they do not, if you’re going to assume anything, assume that they’re busy, at least this way you’ll come across as being courteous when asking them whatever it is you want them to engage in whether it's a phone call or wanting to go out w them, do not think you are entitled to someone else's time

don’t fall for potential .. some ppl just don’t change .. ik some ppl can’t handle hearing tht but i’m sorry darling we don’t live in a fairytale world where ppl w toxic tendencies drop them as soon as they see your face, we live in this one and it’s not your place to try and fix them

nip things in the bud, ppl make mistakes as we are all human and therefore intrinsically flawed but if any foul play ever takes place nip it THERE AND THEN ..

sometimes ppl need their space, different ppl cope w hurt in different ways so if you ever do upset the person you love, don’t just expect them to accept your apology the moment you feel bad and say sorry ... when apologising to someone you need to give them their own time to process

this ones for my muslims, if a significant other ... EVER ... tells you to cover your hair .. x them out of your life ... nope nope nope .. your relationship w god is PERSONAL .. and the very fact that some ppl think it’s appropriate to go abt telling ppl to ‘cover their hair’ is fucking ridiculous.. they’ve very clearly over estimated their own importance in this situation, they’re not shit .. you don’t need someone like tht i promise

i’m a firm believer of how a person treats their friends shows a lot of their character .. if they without any ounce of irony say the sentence “i hate all my friends” ... do not get involved w them, they’re bad news, trust me, if they can’t be nice to the ppl they call friends, sweetheart what makes you think they’ll be different towards you?

this one’s for my desis .. pls do some form of a bg check on their family ,,, PLEASE .. if you’re desi yk .. if not idk .. good for you innit 

but speaking of families .. this sounds peculiar but ask abt their relationship w their relatives .. don’t just assume tht just bc you get on well w your familials, tht they will too, ask them abt their family, don’t be overbearing abt it .. but ask cordially

i was debating on whether i should include this or not but some of you completely lack human decency so i suppose i have to .. for the love of all that is fucking holy, if someone ever asks you the question “did you miss me?” SAY YES .. FOR GOD’S SAKE .. you don’t need to get into the semantics of ‘well, i didn’t have time’ 🚫 ‘well do you want me to lie’🚫 or whatever else you heartless cowards say ... simply, say “yes, i did” it’s something so small but it can make someone so fucking happy

listen, rly fucking listen, don’t listen w the intent of saying whatever you want to say, rly take in what tht person is saying to you and anyway “when you talk you repeat what you already know, when you listen you might learn something new”

in a similar vein, don’t assume that just bc someone is complaining or venting or ranting to you tht they want your advice ... they don’t .. the only time they want advice is .. shock horror .. when they ask for it .. sometimes ppl just want to rant, let them, be a safe space

idk why the whole ‘arguments are normal’ thing .. is a thing .. bc it’s not and i feel as though it’s as a result of such thinking that many ppl stay w ppl who just aren’t right for them bc ‘arguments are normal’ but .. newsflash .. they’re rly fucking not, i promise you, yes, where there is more than one person, disagreements are BOUND to arise, but arguments? full fledge shouting matches? .. where the both of you are intentionally trying to hurt each other, no . this is not normal, an argument is serious and should be dealt as such, do not start an argument for no reason, idk why being ✨toxic✨ is a thing .. you are dealing w a real person w real emotions ..

love is mutual generosity, you CANNOT afford to be selfish, the moment you become selfish you will hurt the other person, for the sake of god rmbr you do not own the other person, so pls don’t treat them like they’re property .. it’s not a nice feeling .. i only say all this to bring up, another human being’s BODILY AUTONOMY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ... you either get it or you don’t

REPEAT AFTER ME! anyone who tries to dull your sparkle instead of enhancing it IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

pls don’t take this the wrong way but .. try to avoid ppl who are insecure as fuck.. insecure ppl will suck the living light out of you ... ik ik i sound mean but you’ll thank me for it later .. sweetheart, ik, they’ve gone through tough times and they’ve somehow managed to make you feel like ~yOu’Re gOiNg tO bE tHe oNe tHt sAvEs tHem~ but no .. baby, therapists make good money, don’t do that shit for free, not to mention; oh they will be cruel to you :) -10/10 do not recommend

last but not least, do not bother pursuing a relationship w someone who has completely different morals to you .. by tht i mean if you’re a feminist and they’re the type of person who slut-shames women for breathing ... yk, as the adage goes “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” 

[noheroes-allowed]

10/22

I’m hoping that I’m actually doing ok and not bottling anything in. I’m thinking about the last time I liked someone and how I made really stupid decisions trying to get over him that were unhealthy and made everything worse. and I was so emotional back then too and so insecure and naive, and to be fair to my younger self, I still am. but I hope I’ve matured enough to just handle this situation better than I have in the past. I’m really hoping the way that I’m feeling right now isn’t just a part of me lying to myself bc I can’t deal with an emotional breakdown later down the line. overall though, I can’t believe I actually did it. and I think I was probably able to bc it came in bits and pieces, like our conversation last thursday just made me more aware of how he would probably respond and, it was truly just me needing to admit it and get it off my chest rather than getting anxious over the anticipation of his answer. which I’m hoping is better than if I told him earlier without knowing these things about him already bc maybe I can reassure myself that it’s bc he’s not looking for anything with anyone really and he gets really excited about the time before anyone admits anything rather than something being wrong about me. like him saying that before I had to say anything makes me believe him more bc if I admitted it and then he said that stuff I would’ve thought we was just trying to soften the blow. anyways I hope I’m ok. I was so close again to not saying it but I was like no, if I put it off again I’m gonna hate myself and regret not doing it again. so I told him in front of his house after our walk. 

(side note, the walk was super nice. we talked for like ~1.5 hours and went down this dark trail that was not lit at all, and once we got to the end, he wanted to keep going bc I think he wanted us to keep talking. but we had to turn back for safety/road visibility reasons. like he told me about what he wants to do in life and I really like him for pursuing something that isn’t traditionally successful and he comes from a place of privilege to be able to do that, but also the thing that he wants to do with his life would’ve sent me swooning (if I hadn’t already started getting over him). but still, like I love him for that, and I love his passions and what he wants to achieve, and just talking to him bc he understands how I feel about not just wanting to work for some company and it doesn’t seem like more people in segc do even though theoretically we all should. and I told him how I really liked the work this one company was doing in dc with data science consulting for nonprofits and the public sector and he was like maybe we’ll cross paths someday. (I hope they do. I hope I run into him and he tells me about how he took his kids canoeing last weekend or how his work is going at whatever agency he’s running or how his master’s is going.) he talked about the last time he felt this way was high school senior year when he didn’t know where his life is going. like, it just felt nice to be able to converse with someone who understands how I’m feeling and to hear someone else’s worries or uncertainty too. idk, it was just a really good conversation, and he said it was nice too. I had suggested us to play overcooked bc I didn’t want him to think that all I ever did was talk about deep things? bc like yeah I love that stuff and connecting with people but sometimes I can just chill too. but the walk was the best part. also I brought those little jelly cups with me bc I wanted to share something with him. I am cute.)

anyways yeah I told him. like I just had to do it and get it over with and stop sitting on it for my sake. and I do regret some of the things I didn’t say or didn’t phrase in the way I could’ve, but I think I said enough of what was necessary. like I asked him if I could ask him something and then he suspected after I looked at him and didn’t saying anything and then laughed nervously. but yeah, the gist was I told him I wanted us to still be friends but I needed to get it off my chest and just move past it and reframe our dynamic in my head. and I didn’t really expect anything from him based on our conversation last week. and that the thing that scared me the most was him distancing himself from me and not rejecting me. but he reassured me that he wouldn’t treat me any differently. and I told him I still wanted to talk about the things we talked about before. to make me believe him he was like what should we do next. but yeah we’re going to the cat cafe next week lol

to be very honest though, I obviously wish he liked me back. but ultimately this is better for me bc I don’t need it to build up more intensely the more time I spend with him or misinterpret things bc I know I’ll just end up more hurt later on. but I feel like it’s weird bc he’s the person I’ve liked for awhile now, and the person before that was complicated, and the other person during that was complicated, and the person before that was high school. and I can’t tell if it’s part of me maturing or if I’m bottling things up and not dealing with it, or if it’s bc I kind of got my answer indirectly last week already, but I feel ok. I did like him a lot though, and I feel like I got to know him at a level I haven’t with other people I’ve liked. bc with *****, so much of it was the novelty and all the new experiences I was going through and having to leave people and just not being ready to start over. like he was a good friend and we had deep talks too, but we didn’t have that much time together to know each other in other respects. and with ****, I still can’t comprehend what was going on between us. like I knew her the most for sure, but it’s difficult to compare in this situation. keith is still confusing sometimes, but the keith I know, there are things I admire about him, and things that annoy me about him lol I know he’s not perfect, and things I like hearing from him. idk I just feel like I know this person, or at least the sides he shows me, and not just my idea of this person. so I think that’s why I wish he liked me back. but I’m also relatively ok he doesn’t bc I will (hopefully) still be spending and enjoying that time with him. I think the most I can compare him to is ****, who I got over and still hung out with and helped him pick out a valentine’s day card for another girl lol.

I think also, to be very honest here, I wish like the thought could’ve crossed his mind. like removing everything he said last week about relationships and commitment, he still has crushed on other girls. and I just can’t help but be insecure and wish that maybe if I was prettier or more attractive, the thought would’ve crossed his mind. it sucks, I wish I didn’t feel that way.

also I have this newfound respect for people who have ever admitted anything to me bc wow I couldn’t even say the words. arguably though, one of them was at the end of a program and we weren’t gonna see each other so he had like nothing to lose. and the other one, I think I was giving mixed signals to which I felt bad about, but I really wanted friends and I didn’t want to be labeled as *****’s gf in the org, and I wanted to be my own person that people got to know. yeah I think that was bad timing bc I might’ve ended up liking him. and he told me relatively early before anything intensified. anyway. I have more respect. I do think I had more to lose though bc keith is my lifeline in ithaca unfortunately and I would make some poor decisions if I didn’t have him to hang out with. 

I think that’s all I have for now. reminder to my future self, there will be ups and downs and please be nice to yourself. 

[chronotopes]

Do you really think the universal impermanence of all things could be a good thing? Could you explain why💚

omg anon are you..... are you referencing an emo text post i made on valentine’s day in the year 2016?? impressed by the advanced lore of this ask 

anyway, uh, i could give it a try. going to lay aside questions of mortality because i’m 19 and don’t think a lot about mortality. if you want to know whether mortality’s a good thing, like, read tuck everlasting by natalie babbit or something idk. anyway.

1. what i meant by the universal impermanence of all things was the impermanence of every relationship bc what else do high schoolers think about. (what else do 19 year olds think about). but fifteen year old me also strongly believed in True, Eternal Love, so there’s a bit of apparent inconsistency here. what i think about this four years later is that of course it’s possible to love somebody for the rest of your life, but that doesn’t mean nothing will change.

2. the reason everything is impermanent isn’t because the universe is hostile, it’s because everyone changes. if the passage of time is the only constant we have, of course it brings us to places we regret. but fundamentally, relationships are only impermanent because the people we are are impermanent. relationships don’t have to end, but they do have to change. the way i interact with and imagine every person in my life right now is going to change in distinct, notable ways between right now and a year from now. doesn’t mean i’ll lose everyone i love but it means i will grow to find my current self unrecognizable. 

3. i have gone through life slowly, slowly learning that for me, personally to survive in this world the only two things i can know are that you can’t change the past or predict the future. this doesn’t sound like it has everything to do with impermanence but it does to me. like i know all this is coming across is corny live in the moment shit but .... i spent most of my life obsessed with past and future ‘selves’, splitting my self up into recognizable ones. which i still do to an extent (2018 self, you suck, stop flexing that you know the definition of poststructuralism and break up with your consolatory self-esteem girlfriend). 

4. so the only way i can live my life right now is by strongly internalizing “this is the only self i ever could have been in the context of everything in my life going the way it did. i don’t want to be anything but my current self right now but very soon i will be a very different self and that’s cool. that’s great, actually, because change is good. the people i love will change along with me and what happens will happen. time will go on and that means change will go on and that means some things will change for the worse but a good number of things will also change for my better. i will not fully recognize myself, my situation, or my relationships five years from now, but five years from now i will be the person i will be and i will be just as protective of that selfhood as i would be if my fourteen year old self saw me right now. 

5. so uh this is a whole lot of nothing and i don’t think i really answered that but TO BE FAIR this is the kind of situation my academic advisor once called “the table of contents of an intro to philosophy textbook”. tl;dr i was once so afraid of change that the only way i knew how to deal with it was to make change and the passage of time the only constants i trust to a semi-religious extent. i don’t know if that’ll work for you but i hope this at least did something for you

[targentis]

answer them **all.**

DAMN OKAY! these r so hard to answer i hope youre happy KJDFNGKSDJFNDKFGSJ

Your favourite non-canon ship?

COFFEE WOLF, I GUESS. it’s canon to us though. um. god this is a hard question. Doc/Ramirez from Skies of Arcadia i guess!!

Is there a ship you didn’t like at first but ultimately started shipping?

TONS BUT IM DRAWING A BLANK RIGHT NOW. Alfonso/De Loco. yes. that’s one. thanks Din

What is the rarest rare pair (that you ship)?

help all my ships are rarepairs.......Des/Nils is probably the rarest. no that’s not true bc i got all my friends on board with this. ok. closest one after that is like...trans lesbian Bloom/Emmy then. eGDKFJGN

Name a popular ship you don’t get the appeal of.

Akechi/Joker...........don’t tell anyone but i have the tags for that ship blocked dfjgkhdfgk it doesn’t make me particularly uncomfortable or anything it just doesn’t appeal to me and i’m tired of seeing it so much

What is your most fluffy + happy ship?

Lunivas/Butter :] (For Now.)

What is your most angsty ship?

UUUUUUUU. GODS UM.....how about VinceDes. thats pretty angsty bro. i think they’re just mostly angsty independently though ejrhdgjhdf

A non-canon ship that should be canon?

dude, Wrightworth. it’s like basically canon already Capcom just needs to like stop being cowarDS DFKGNDFKJGDF

Your oldest ship; the one you’ve shipped for the longest time?

NOT SURE. Alfonso/Ramirez is a pretty long-running ship i think. Wrightworth too but i think Alfonso/Ramirez is older by like a year. 

What ship represents the kind of relationship you’d love to have?

VinceDes. ;]

Is there a ship that makes your skin crawl?

unfortunately, because i am in the Layton fandom, yes. for instance, all the Desmond ships with canon characters, bc they are all like. family members. euughghghgjahgahuggg,ghf,h god

What is a character you can only imagine in one particular ship?

not Ramirez that’s for surE DKJNDFKJGDF probably uhhh Randall......he belongs with Henry and that’s that on that!

What is your favourite canon ship?

hehehe...Nico/Kastor/Vlad!! 

Name a ship that deserved more content.

all the rarepairs bro. every gross artist who has ever drawn like d*sl*y or something owes me coffee wolf content. ESPECIALLY gross artists who draw d*sa*ro and interact with my posts. cough cough. pay up You Know Who.

Is there a ship you feel gets undeserved hate in fandom?

i don’t know any ships that get hate period cause i no longer subscribe to weird fandom drama...but i know of One ship that gets Deserved hate, which is Ramirez/Galcian. i’ll never stop shitting on it never

What is the first ship you had?

ugh. in order to answer this question i had to try to remember the first fandom i was ever in, let alone the first time i ever cared about romance. soooooooo...i think it was Seth/Jynx from my ex’s story Fantasy Fulfillment??

Is there a ship that made you realise something about yourself?

yes there is! a certain ship made me realize i had a second Des canon...

Is there a type of ship you always go for?

IM LIKE NOT BIG ON SHIPPING ANYMORE SO THIS IS HARD TO DETERMINE i just kind of...find my favorite characters and then put them together bc sexy. also sometimes characters will have undeniable chemistry and i’ll be all like ok legally i just Have to ship them. see: Din/Ade.

Is there a ship the writers have ruined for you?

every canon ship in Skies of Arcadia. the writers of this game do not know what chemistry is. Enrique/Moegi sucks, but they have so much POTENTIAL to be a good pairing, but this was not shown at ALL in canon, and i’m SALTY.

Is there a ship the fandom has ruined for you?

Akechi/Joker probably...fandom didn’t do anything wrong per se i just. like i said before i’m just tired of seeing it dkgjhdg

Have you ever created fan created content for a ship?

yeah tons!! i am a Content Creator bro i will not stop

Favourite thing you’ve ever created for a ship?

this VinceDes Valentine’s Day project i’ve been working on for the past four days!! it’s like my favorite thing i’ve ever created PERIOD bro

Is there a ship you’ll never admit you have?

hmmmmmmmm. do my old Hetalia ships count? DFGJDNFG

Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans?

YES ACTUALLY! speaking of my old Hetalia ships, i used to ship Japan and Canada SIMPLY BECAUSE i went to an anime convention and these two cosplayers said i looked like their lovechild. i took a photo with my “parents” and it was my phone wallpaper for like two years. i’m so sorry for talking about that stupid anime but like that’s still an important memory to me

What is one scene you want to see happen for all your ships?

HRNNHNH. KIS

I there a ship you wish you didn’t know existed?

You Know Exactly Which Ones.

more recently though...Miles/Franziska?????? like sigh i know of COURSE it exists but like. idk i Just found out about it and i wish i could unlearn that fact.

Name a ship that ended like you wanted it to.

Nico/Kastor/Vlad.........if you want good content you have to make it yourself!

Name a ship that deserved better in the end.

LAYTON/CLAIRE. FOR FUCKING REAL

Is there a character you have several ships for?

Ramirez from Skies of Arcadia........he can just Get It.

What is the ship you ignore 98% of canon for?

ENRIQUE/ILCHYMIS. I JUST THINK THEYRE HOT THEY NEVER INTERACT IN CANON

Is there a ship you like but you dislike the fandom?

lol wym i dislike all fandom. eKJDGFN ummmm??? no i can’t think of any right now??

[steamgoat]

Long rant sorry I’m very lonely tonight

—-

Sometimes I want a little attention without having to ask for it/earn it but I don’t really have close friends anymore to give me any (or who I feel comfortable telling that I need attention) apart from my (long distance) partner who is currently also super depressed and mostly unresponsive the last few weeks in spite of telling me he would try harder to be communicative and like. Is there like, a service where you can idk rent(?) a supportive person to be your friend from time to time, or like, actually become your friend bc I suck at making/keeping friends and have underdeveloped social skills and social anxiety that tends to make me shut down in social situations with more than one unfamiliar person if I don’t already have a friend with me for support...

Also like, I hate having to wait longer to be in an actual full on romantic relationship. Like I’ve been waiting my whole life for that and now that I’ve finally found a mate of a long term nature we are in different places in the country and both currently struggling with our career paths/futures and especially with the pandemic going on we can’t really visit any time soon as we had planned to.

I already wasted my teenage years being unmedicated and socially inept and suicidal, not to mention a good portion of my 20s, and idk I just feel like time is slipping away and I haven’t gotten to experience what I’ve always longed for, relationally? Like part of me wants to still experience other relationships and then come back to this one as the final one just because there is so much I’ve never gotten to explore, but I also love my partner and hope to have this be a lasting relationship and I feel terribly guilty about these other thoughts.

I also feel like a bad bi person bc I’ve only ever gotten to date men even tho I know that doesn’t invalidate my sexuality. Wish I could just like insert a few more relationships into my past, like nice ones that maybe just ended bc we fell out of love or something that doesn’t emotionally wreck me as much.

Also there are so many trope-y cheesy relationshippy things I’ve never gotten to experience, and my partner isn’t really into doing those things without me telling him I want them, which makes them feel ingenuine if I can convince him to do them bc he’s had so many relationships that he’s over those kinds of things(like celebrating Valentine’s Day and kissing on New Years and stuff like that) but I’ve never gotten to experience them and he doesn’t seem to really understand where I’m coming from and it kinda really hurts that I’ll never get surprised on like valentines or anything without me actually asking for him to do something... idk I feel like I wouldn’t care as much about them if I’d gotten to experience that stuff in other relationships but the three I’ve had have lasted two months, six months, and two months, never at the right times of year. And also the six month one was with my current partner but like eight years ago (we reconnected and are in a relationship again but don’t really have an actual start date when we both were officially like okay this is the start of the relationship for anniversary purposes but it’s going on roughly eight months now). And the two two months guys were actually really shitty people who just wanted sex and neither of those ended amicably and actually left me pretty fucked up emotionally.

Just kinda wish I could do the teen years and 20s over again but without mental health being so bad so maybe I coulda done more social stuff in general. Always kinda wanted to experience dorm life too but couldn’t get housing on campus for either college I went to. Ah.

Tl;dr : I am lonely and want attention and I hate having to ask for it and also I want to do cheesy relationship stuff that my currently long distance partner doesn’t care about