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predestinatos · 2 months

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hungry for life - MV1 (18+) ༄˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

pairing: max verstappen x female!reader

summary: it could've been a dream trip. if it hadn't been for the nightmare of the company. (also i didn't proofread i'm sorry)

tags: enemies to lovers, smut, lots of smut, filthy really, p in v, fingering, reader swallows, idk what to say.

word count: 5.2k

MINORS DNI!!!

Monet’s Water Lilies occupied the entire room, listening to your conversation intently.

“It isn’t that big of a deal” you friend said, whispering and pointing to the painting as if she was commenting on it.

Your gaze remained on the careful brushstrokes, head tilted as you replied, “Easy for you to say. I mean, seriously? Max?” your hand raised to a specific part of the painting that really wasn’t as impressive up close as it probably was from afar - but there was no other way to have this conversation.

“You’re in Paris, looking at a Monet, with your best friend” she continued, a hint of a smile in her tone of voice. Her amusement only frustrated you more as she walked a few steps to the right, trying to inspect another part of the mesmerizing painting.

“And my worst enemy” you rolled your eyes as you followed her. “It’s not fair. When you said it would be you, your boyfriend and a friend of his, I didn’t expect this. I was thinking more of a double date.”

She looked at you, shrugging, causing her beautiful hair to bounce with her. “It can still be” she joked, to which you could only reply by turning your back to her - and consequently, Monet himself, muttering a ‘fuck you’ to her giggling frame and to the lilies who stood motionless in the still water.

You stood, alone, in front of Sam Francis’s In Lovely Blueness. You felt unlovely blue yourself, though you knew you couldn’t let this ruin a dream trip for you. Your excitement might have died down the minute you met Max at the airport and put two and two together, but you were sure it was mutual, which did make things better. At least he wasn’t particularly amused himself, falling for the exact same trap you fell into.

As if manifested by your own thoughts, his frame appeared on the corner of your eye, big eyelashes adorning his eyes as he stared ahead, almost as if he had no intention of acknowledging you whatsoever. “This is inspired in a poem by Hölderlin. It has the same name and everything. In Lieblicher Bläue. It’s a representation of-” he started, shocking you at first but then angering you just as well.

“I am an art major. I don’t need you to explain this to me” you spat, a fake smile adorning your lips as he looked at you, your annoyance, and chuckled. It was brave of him, you had to admit - to intentionally go out of his way to annoy you by explaining something you were sure he knew you knew.

Crossing his arms across his chest, his head slightly tipped to the side, he admired how easy it was to get under your skin. He wanted to be nice, to engage in a conversation and try to achieve some type of neutral ground, but he found it impossible to do so. “Since you know so much, why don’t you guide us?”

The comment came out aggressive and petty, which wasn’t particularly intentional but he also hadn’t made any effort to hide what he felt towards you anymore. You stepped closer to him. It surprised him, how daring you were all of a sudden, but also how much you actually seemed to dislike him, to the point where this was something you did publicly, unashamedly.

“You want me to guide you?” you asked, whispering while looking up at him. You were smaller than him, his frame towering over you even unintentionally, but that factor didn’t stop you.

“Sure” he said, swallowing dryly, jaw clenching as the tension between you both rose. The red on the painting seemed to stand out even more and spread on the corner of his vision, inundating the whole painting.

“Okay” you replied, taking two steps back away from him, opening the distance between your bodies, carrying the red color with you as the painting seemed to fill with blue again. But not for long, for you walked and looked at him as if urging him to follow, which he did, curiosity winning against irritation.

After a couple of steps, you reached the end of a hallway, secluded and stripped of any painting, walls too bare, contrasting with the previous setting.

He was confused. He really didn’t know what you would do next, though this whole scenario just proved you were just as childish about your feelings as he was. “And, to your left you have the exit sign, which will take you right where you belong” you said, moving your arms like a museum guide, overly cartoon-ish on purpose, knowing it would only annoy him more.

“You’re such a child” Max said. Indignation wasn’t something he felt often, yet this time he felt it appropriate. But he was also thankful - thankful that his attempt at being nice didn’t work, for he did not have to pretend to like you for a week when he absolutely did not. “I tried, at least.”

At this, you could only gasp in surprise at his courage to make such a statement. “You tried? By mansplaining a painting? Oh, that's new!” it was almost funny how you two were whispering in shots, or shouting through whispers, the empty hallway echoing your words as if to emphasize them.

“It’s more than what you’ve done so far! I’m not the one walking around looking all bitter and bratty.”

You stood, motionless, looking at him. His green eyes fixated on yours and burned as if they were scorching red, and as much as you wanted to lash out even more at him, you figured walking away was the best solution. Once again, turning your back on someone in Paris. It had to be done.

“Oh, yeah, walk away. Good luck doing that at the hotel” Max said, the comment a nail in your coffin, a way to affirm that yes, he had won, yes he was right, and the points had been made - you were to avoid each other at all times.

You, however, stopped. His last words echoed in your head. What did he mean, the hotel? The moment you closed the door to your room and he closed the door to his, you two would be out of each other’s sight. So what did he mean by that? That he would annoy you further, being noisy, screaming, to the point where you couldn’t sleep? You were about to ask when you decided that would admit some sort of defeat - asking someone to clarify a point you hadn’t understood in an argument seemed weak, frail and ridiculous to you, so you kept walking, desperate to find your friend again.

“No,” you said when the room card was handed to you. “Fuck no” you kept going, your best friend’s hand raised towards you as she tried to contain a hint of a smile.

Now you understood Max’s comment. Now you were angrier than ever.

Why did you let your friend handle the hotel reservations? Because you trusted her good judgment. Which was bad judgment from your part, apparently, as she reserved two rooms - one for her and her boyfriend, and one for the friends they brought - you and Max.

“It has TWO beds” she tried convincing you, as Max had already gone up angrily, snatching the card swiftly without saying a word. “I wouldn’t put you two in a king sized bed. I am not crazy” she kept going.

The more you thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded.

Max prided himself on his fast insticts and reactions to any unforseen events that might come his way. It was probably one of his best traits, one he always mentioned when asked about his favorite psychological aspect of himself.

But all that was put into question as he stood motionless in the middle of the hotel bedroom, towel wrapped lowly around his waist as the air conditioning hit his bare back and he heard the door click open.

He stood in the same place as you closed the door behind you and ran a hand through your hair as you exhaled. He had those brief seconds of you unaware of his presence to hide in the bathroom and get dressed quickly, or lay underneath the covers discreetly. Anything at all.

But he had no time to make a decision as your eyes met his, panic written across his green irises.

You prided yourself on your fast insticts and reactions to any unforeseen events that might come your way. It was probably one of your best traits, one you always mentioned when asked about your favorite psychological aspect.

But all that was put into question when you opened the door to the hotel room and saw a Max's frozen frame, towel wrapped lowly - too lowly, you thought - around his waist, swallowing hard as droplets of water ran across his bare skin.

No thoughts crossed your mind before you cursed, a hard "for fuck's sake" escaping your lips from accumulated stress over the events of the past 24 hours.

This was not how you wanted your trip to go. This was not what you had planned. It wasn't just sleeping in two separate beds.

This proved it clearly.

During this time, Max's brain found the opportunity to adapt to the situation, adopting an arrogant attitude that contrasted from his initial shock.

"Come on, I'm not fucking naked" he said as he turned his back to you, heading to the bathroom.

"You are underneath that towel" you pointed out, starting to follow him before stopping yourself, realizing it was best not to do it. "I mean, you knew I was coming"

You heard him chuckle - really, he made sure you would - and his head and bare shoulder showed up from behind the open door. "Yes. Hence the towel. Otherwise I'd be naked. Which I'm not. Don't be such a child."

You could only throw a middle finger at him in response - one that he found gave him the victory, the upper hand. One that signified the discussion was over and he was right.

He grinned to himself, closing the door as he undid the towel around his waist in order to put on his underwear and a t-shirt.

Max's hand reached for the small hanger where it was placed and his fingers wrapped around nothing. He looked at the empty hanger and then at the floor, completely empty of what he needed the most in that very moment - his boxers.

"Shit. Shit. Shit Shit" he cursed, looking around for an answer. He knew his only choice was to ask you to bring them to him, but he only knew it cost him that final victory he enjoyed so much, his ego and pride mixing with each other to create a selfishness that surprised even him sometimes.

You heard your name being called out from the bathroom. At first you thought you had imagined it, like in horror movies where it seems to be coming from everywhere, but when it sounded again you knew that wasn't the case, though it was equally as terrifying.

You jumped from your bed and went over to the bathroom, ear pressed against the door in search of a sign of danger.

"...Yes?" you asked.

"Can you bring me a pair of boxers? They're in my suitcase. That is if you don't want to see me naked for four seconds while I get them myself."

You groaned loud enough for him to hear, your steps heavier than usual so he could notice your discontentment even if he couldn't see it.

Walking over to his suitcase, you opened its zipper almost carelessly, searching for a pair of underwear in the midst of the collection of same colored t shirts and same fit jeans.

Max was walking around the bathroom like a mad man, realizing how ridiculous this situation was, and how ridiculous it was that he had accepted it without asking who his company would be first. Maybe this was a lesson, yes, from the ghost of vacations future warning him about being careful who to trust, or to spread kindness, or something.

Before he could dive deeper into thoughts of madness, a knock sounded on the door. He grabbed the towel quickly to cover himself, although he did not bother wrapping it around him. He was not planning on opening the door entirely, not after the scene you caused.

As he opened, he saw an outstretched hand - yours - holding a pair of underwear. The fabric dangled in your pointer finger as if it was made of a burning material that you needed to get rid off, and fast.

He grabbed that from you, but as he was closing the door, your arm remained in place.

"I'm childish but you brought like two packs of condoms for this trip?" you said accusingly, and he could hear your smirk, as if you finally had something to hit him with.

"Don't flatter yourself, I didn't know I'd end up with you" he said as he pulled his boxers up and opened the door once again. "Is this less offensive than the towel?"

He was close - closer than you had expected - and though he hid his own surprise at seeing you at the doorframe, he couldn't deny that he didn't exactly measure the consequences of not checking where exactly you were before opening the door so fast.

His chest was close to yours, so close part of him almost felt as if you were touching, the proximity making him feel unbelievably taller than you, though he was sure the difference couldn't be that big.

You tried not to stare. Really, you were trying really hard. But he was so close to you he occupied your entire line of vision, his pale skin appearing so smooth in front of yours, contrasting with the dark color of his underwear - that you unconsciously had picked.

He towered over you, head low so he could look at you in the eyes, though the view wasn't particularly bad from up there. Your pajama top was loose - too loose - in your frame and your shorts were the very definition of the word.

"You wanting to sleep with me would be an insult" you said, moving away from the doorframe so he could pass, though he didn't move, merely crossed his arms across his chest, muscles tensing slightly at that. "And sure. It's an improvement" you continued, staring him up and down - taking his frame in but disguising the act as disdain.

Max's head leaned to the right, a smirk growing on his lips as he realized he got you for a second time. Nonchalantly, eyebrows raised, he decided to act.

"That's not what you said a year ago." There. He had you. And while before this bickering came from a place of anger and hatred, he was growing increasingly more amused at how you matched his own pace.

"Yeah, but that was before you opened your mouth" you retorted, focusing hard - too hard - on his face and not on his body, though it did not help either. His hair was messy and slightly damp from the shower, and his stubble had grown in a way you could only describe as attractive - not perfectly shaved but not entirely messy either.

He bit his lip then, mostly because he knew what to say to you after your words and was trying not to smile. Also because you had admitted to feeling attracted to him, even if only physically, which added to his confidence as he stared at you and ran his eyes down your body. "What's wrong with my mouth?"

You were dumbfounded for a few seconds, mouth opened at the ridiculousness of his comment, what it implied and the line it had crossed. "You're such a piece of shit" you said, while his grin grew to his eyes.

"You want me" he sounded so matter of factly, as if he had commented on the weather or said the sky was blue.

"I hate you."

"Never said you didn't" Max took a step forward towards you, and you found yourself unable to walk away. Something about his deviance pulled you in, and part of your brain told you you could leave, though another tried to convince you you were only staying because this was your room, after all.

"Then how could I possibly want you?" you asked, though it was more directed at yourself than at him this time.

He looked away then, as if the answer was obvious, his body moving closer to you but never touching you, both decreasing and increasing the distance between the both of you.

"You want me but I'm a piece of shit. And that's why you hate me. Because you know, deep down, you still want me to fuck you" as he said this, he moved away, almost as if the conversation had never happened, though it had, just now.

"I don't want you anywhere near me" you tried to sound assertive but part of your voice had failed by how taken aback you were, still wondering if you had imagined his words.

He stopped and turned to you once again, battling his own brain on whether or not he should push you a bit further.

"Define near" he said, as he walked closely towards you, like a predator slowly approaching its prey, defying them.

Your chest rose and fell as he moved, and you found yourself unable to tell him that that was near enough, mostly because it wasn't, not even close.

The back of your legs hit the bed - his bed - and you fell backwards, sitting on it as he moved as close as he could towards you. "Is this near for you?" he asked, though his tone had changed into something darker, raspier and more filled with lust than flirt.

You swallowed, refusing to break eye contact, aware of how you looking up at him provided a view for himself as well.

"Who wants who now, huh?" you asked teasingly, a smile spread across your lips as you noticed his body tensing up - with a bit of anger but maybe a bit of arousal too.

"Is this wanting you?" he asked back, finding your language had moved from insult to rhetoric, questions that needn't answer - not when he could see your eyes shining as they looked up at you from your eyelashes, not as he saw you crossing your legs despite your attempts at discreetness.

You shrugged at his question, not wanting to back down on your claim but also not wanting to give him the chance to refute it.

His hand cupped your face with firmness, holding your stare as he lowered himself towards you, bringing his lips close to yours, so close you felt his skin brushing against yours although he broke away before you could indulge in his initiative.

"What about this?" he asked, testing you now, though he knew the answer himself, felt it in his body as his boxers felt tight against his erection.

"I'm still unsure" you replied, and as if awaiting for that sign to keep going, Max exhaled and ran his hands through your bare thighs, pinching softly at them, causing you to hiss and giggle from his contact.

"Do I have to keep asking?" it was his time now to look up at you, something close to desperation rubbing at him as he knelt between your legs.

"Not if you admit it" you leaned to kiss him, to - admittedly - give him some kind of upper hand, though you weren't sure if you were playing anymore, not as his tongue hungrily explored your mouth, so desperate it was almost sloppy yet so warm and arousing and fulfilling.

"Fucking hell you're stubborn" he managed to let out during the brief instances where you weren't pulling his neck towards you, making sure his lips remained on yours.

His body moved on top of yours as you laid down in his bed, his hips pressing against yours as you felt his cock against you, a moan escaping your lips and a sigh leaving his at the contact.

"Is this, huh?" he asked again, mouth now moving to your neck, kissing it so lightly you shivered, only to bite you afterwards, the sensations overwhelming you with need for him.

Your body felt hot, burning intensely; and Max's body against yours only fueled that, his voice making you feel more than you wanted to admit even to yourself.

You wanted him to feel like you were feeling in that moment - unaware he was already as on the edge of completely losing himself as you were. So you held his hand with yours and brought it in between your legs, allowing him to get his response.

Max had to steady himself. Really, part of his brain froze and only his body worked, mouth watering as he felt how wet you were, mind going completely foggy at the fact that you had done it, at how hot what your simple gesture had been - at how strongly he reacted to it.

His cock was so tight in his boxers it felt almost painful, especially when he knew how comfortable he could be, inside you, feeling your entire body react to him and him alone.

However, he craved to drive you mad as well, convinced you would probably lose your minds together in that hotel room. "Use your words" he said, pulling your shorts down in order to get better access to you.

His fingers teased you gently, brushing over your entrance and pulling away just as you were ready to take them. "Tell me, is this wanting you?" he insisted, his voice breathy and hoarse.

You wished you could answer, could say more than his name which came across as a whine for more of him inside you. It took all your strength to focus, on winning, on seeing him crumble before your eyes, losing his composure which was so so close to fall apart.

You bit your lip while staring at his eyes - once so bright but now so dark, so filled with something you hadn't seen in him before - and took him completely by surprise as you ran your hand across his erection through the fabric of his underwear.

Max closed his eyes and his eyebrows were now close together in an almost frown. "Fuck" were the words he let out as he dropped his head.

"Admit it" you demanded, not only because you wanted to win but because you couldn't wait any longer - you felt empty, his teasing frustrating you to no end.

Without warning, his fingers dipped inside you, filling that emptiness, even if just slightly. He moved them painfully slowly, savoring every inch of your moans as you kept your hand on his hard cock.

You could feel its length and thickness, making your mouth water at the mere thought of having it inside you. You started moving your hips against his fingers, craving more of the pleasure, more of him.

Max was just observing you at that point, how desperate you were for him, how beautiful you looked with flushed cheeks and swollen lips with barely anything being done to you yet.

"I would never admit something like that" his words contrasted so much with his thoughts, but he knew one fed the other both for you and him, this back and forth the main reason why you both felt an incessant pull towards one another.

"You're ridiculous" you managed to reply, though the words came out muffled and confusing, earning you a chuckle in response.

"You're being fucked stupid and I'm ridiculous?" he asked, grinning as he used a hand to removed his boxers, freeing his erection. You couldn't help but whimper at the sight, the sheer anticipation of what was to come, at the opportunity to having him buried inside you.

However, letting him win this easily wasn't something you were willing to do - and though your mind was cloudy and your judgment blurred, you stood on your elbows, face almost touching his. Your hand caressed his tensed arm which kept its movement inside you, and he couldn't help but look at your contact.

You tilted your head, biting your lip as you stared at his face - the desperate attempt at remaining composed, the rosy cheeks and disheveled hair, lips wet and eyes so dark they looked almost black.

"Who's stupid now?" you asked, hot breath against his neck. He could hide many things, but he couldn't control the goosebumps spreading across his entire body, he couldn't hide the way his shoulders tensed even more, how his throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

This was thrilling. Maybe too thrilling, if such thing existed. He thought of the painting, of the colours spread across the canvas and somehow, in that moment, that seemed to increase every emotion he was feeling, and he had to close his eyes to control himself and steady his breath.

He had to keep it going. He knew he had to - he knew this was precisely what he wanted, to drive you insane, to keep the tension running across both of you until one exploded.

So he removed his hand from where it was - so comfortable, so hard inside you - and he could see you pout slightly before returning to your previous cold attitude. "You want me to stop, I'll stop" he said, climbing fully on top of the bed, both hands on either side of your head, hovering above you.

"I never said that" you bit back, though it was hard to focus as he started leaving trails of kisses on your neck, going down to your chest, and on your navel, biting your shirt and pulling it - removing the last layer of clothing you possessed.

"Then what do you want?" he asked, face in between your thighs, just above where you wanted him to be buried. Max's grin didn't hide the fact that he knew exactly the answer to this - but, just like you, he was stubborn, loving to hear the words escape your lips, to know that you wanted him to ruin you completely.

His hand now caressed your thigh, fingers softly moving up and down, drawing invisible nothings on your skin.

You fought against your will to just say it, although you wanted to give it up and just admit it. As if reading your thoughts, his eyes pierced yours with amusement as his cheek rested against your thigh, stubble scratching your skin pleasurably. "We don't have all night, sweetheart" he whispered.

The nickname caused your heart to race, but what came out of your mouth was a scoff, arrogance still coating your actual feelings despite the situation you were both in. "You're just as desperate as I am" you told him, lifting your right leg to caress his bag with your foot.

"Desperate for what, hm?" he asked, biting the inside of your thigh as he climbed back up, facing you.

"To fuck me" you finally replied, knowing it was less of an admition and more of a dare.

"Is that what you want me to do? To fuck you?" the question was rhetorical, almost mocking, but at that moment you didn't quite care. Not when the tip of his cock rubbed against you, not when he tried so hard to steady his breath.

You could only nod, carnal insticts getting the best out of you. That was all he needed to let himself go, to let go of all restraints previously holding him back - if there were any.

He sinked inside you slowly, as if to prolong your pain and your pleasure simultaneously, savoring your reactions - your whine of pleasure, your closed eyes and teeth biting your lip, your eyebrows furrowed. You felt and looked so good it took all of his strength to focus on being the stronger, composed person in the room - something he never struggled this hard to achieve.

He dropped his head low, his forehead against yours as he steadied himself. "Fuck" he managed to say, along with a loud exhale. "You feel so fucking good" he continued, words leaving his mouth almost impulsively.

"Then don't stop, Max" you demanded, almost aggressively, as your body ached for more of him.

He pulled himself almost fully out and slammed back inside you, harder now, making you let out a loud whine - one which you rapidly covered by placing your hands over your mouth.

He kept going, hips slamming against yours with a steady rhythm as you uhmed in pleasure, eyes teary already as they rolled to the back of your head.

He wanted to hear you. In fact, he wanted to know others could hear you, hear how good he was making you feel, hear how his cock drove you absolutely insane. With an assertive movement, his hand grabbed yours and pulled it away from your mouth, then held your cheeks tightly as he made you look at him.

"Don't cover your mouth" he ordered, hungrily, feeling you tighten around him as he said it. "Let everyone hear how well you take it" he continued, speeding up his pace and laying on top of you as you wrapped your hands around his waist, caging him.

"F-fuck, Max" you started, unable to resist much longer, feeling his hot body against yours, your hands pulling his hair as he moved almost animalistically, so focused on your sounds he could only get off to them.

"You sound so pretty" Max growled, close to exploding as well. "So fucking hot" he continued, and you had to bury your teeth in his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming - all you could let out was his name as you felt him inside you, and his hips rolled against you, unmatched amounts of pleasure running through you.

"I'm so close, Max, I'm so close" you said, not realizing how often his name was being uttered by you, how it seemed like one of the few words you had left to say.

Driven to a state of total lack of control, Max let moans escape his own lips, his animal vulnerability resulting in your own orgasm.

Feelings you tighten and pulsing around his cock was the tipping point for him, as his body shuddered, pulling himself out of you as fast as he could.

“Open your mouth” he said, gesturing at you to sit back. You did as he demanded, still drunk from your orgasm, still completely at his mercy, and he came finally, warm come filling your mouth.

The view was Max’s dream come true - your mouth wide open and filled with him, so obediently taking his orders and so beautifully contrasting with your previous attitude.

“Now swallow” he said, tapping your cheeks slightly with his hand as you closed your mouth and did as he said, the slightly salty flavour filling your tastebuds.

You laid down on his bed, exhausted and completely fulfilled, while also dizzy with the amount of emotions running through your head. You closed your eyes, but felt and heard him laying down next to you, his arm brushing yours shyly now.

“Was that close enough?” he asked.

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663 notes · View notes

dilxcc · 7 months

Note

Heyyyyy!! I was wondering if you could do a little something with Chanyeol were he and reader are working on a song together and everything is being recorded and they become really close and when the video is posted the fans love their chemistry and they beg them to make more music together and in one of the videos they forget that they’re being recorded and they kiss or something 😅(it’s cool if you don’t want to take this request)

a bit too close ᡣ𐭩 park chanyeol

fluff, kinda slowburn, friends to lovers, love confession, mutual pining, a little bit of kissing🧍, reader is so in love with him, grammatical error

chanyeol x f!reader

a/n idk if this is good but i hope you like it 😭

"i think it would sound better if you..." his words fell on deaf ears as you admired him. it was clear to everyone how head over heels you are for him. the way his bangs fell over his forehead, the way his dimples showed at the slightest smile, the way he would cover his mouth slightly when he was complimented.

"y/n? did you hear what i was saying?" chanyeol waved his hand in front of you, causing you to snap out of your stupor. "sorry?" you blinked, eyes slightly widened. "as i was saying, i think it would sound better if you soften your voice a little at this part," he repeated, chuckling softly at your antics.

you leaned closer to him and looked at the printed lyrics that were full of his scribbled notes. "which part?" you inquired, your eyes scanning through your part. his finger pointed out to the closing part. you flinched slightly when you felt his touch on your face. "your hair was in the way," he admitted, acting as if tucking your hair behind your ears was the most natural thing to do.

your cheeks burned slightly and you stepped a few steps back. "right," you stuttered slightly, now fixing your hair nervously. "oh, should we take a break? it's almost lunchtime," chanyeol muttered, looking at his phone's lock screen. you could only nod in reply, not trusting your voice to answer him. "what do you want? i'll order it for us," he scrolled through a food app.

soon enough, the two of you finished your recordings and it was finally time to leave the studio.

eris4life: did you guys see the way she was looking at him??? 👀

channielove: no wayyy did you not see the WAY chanyeol was looking at her??? eris4life: omg i just noticed! are we smelling something hereeee

kyungkyungsoo: omg they should totally collab more! they sound so good together!!!

baeksblub: guys... i think we're getting an announcement soon

you scrolled through the video's comment section, face flushing slightly because of how obviously you were staring at chanyeol. they even gave the exact time stamp! but the thought of chanyeol doing the same made your heart flutter. was he staring at you too? you hadn't noticed.

chanyeol on the other hand was smiling to himself while remembering the time you two were recording the song. his grip on the pillow grew tighter every time he remembered your smile. "hyung, he's at it again," sehun whispered in junmyeon's ear. "who's at what again?" junmyeon tilted his head slightly. kyungsoo pointed his finger toward chanyeol who was smiling ear to ear like a high school girl in love.

chanyeol was not the type to back down from a challenge. he considers talking to you more – getting to know you a challenge as not many people would have the courage to talk to the one they are interested in.

his finger hovers over your username, contemplating whether he should follow you or not. maybe this was a bad idea – that this was a very stupid idea. but hell, he loves stupid.

real__pcy

hey 🫣

were your eyes deceiving you or did you accept a new message from chanyeol?

y/n

hey 🫢

real__pcy

do you want to get coffee sometime? no pressure you can say no

the two of you somehow just clicked. chanyeol made you laugh so much. you made him laugh so much.

not even a year after your collaboration, the two of you were already planning a new song together. except this time, both of you were jumpy.

an accidental touch to the hand caused both of you to flinch and jump in the opposite direction. the sudden close distance made both of you stutter your words and look in the other direction. and the simplest eye contact almost caused you to ruin the whole song while recording.

you remind yourself to be mindful of your actions as the two of you are being recorded. but it was so hard sometimes when his closeness lingered a few seconds long. he probably hates you right? you were being awkward and unprofessional while recording.

"you two should take a break," the director instructed, getting up from his chair and walking out of the studio. you let out a sigh and sat down on the chair inside the recording room. and he followed suit. he carefully sat down beside you, hoping you wouldn't be uncomfortable. "so..." he started, his voice sounding awkward.

"i think you did great, by the way," he complimented, smiling shyly at you. "i think you did great, too," you returned the compliment. after a while, the silence returned. though this time, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it was a few minutes ago.

a few days later, the two of you returned to the studio for the final recording. due to both of you being incompetent, the recording time was longer than expected. your interaction a few days ago made both of you less skittish. except for the occasional awkward laughter.

at one point, you hadn't even realized that the two of you had gotten so close while inspecting the lyrics. "this part–" his words died down in his throat when his arm brushed yours. "sorry," he muttered but made no effort to move away. your eyes didn't peel away from his and instead, the two of you were leaning into each other's face.

with chanyeol being tall, he had to bend down a little. you closed your eyes, half-expecting for him to kiss you. while the other half; well...

his lips met yours in a slow yet sensual kiss. it wasn't rushed. and for some reason, it just felt so right. the world around you vanished and you could only feel the two of you standing there; in the room right now.

when you finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours and slowly regained his breath. "is it too late to admit that i like you?" he smiled, his cute dimples showing. you shook your head and smiled. "i like you, too,"

the video went viral just a few hours after being published.

chanslover: chanyeol please just one chance 😭😭

jonginreal: YESSSS THEYRE TOGETHER

junmyeonsfakecotton: my ship is sailing. i can finally die in peace.

baekshands: OMG OMG OMG TELL ME IM NOT DREAMING

kyungsoochest: you are not.

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decodedlvr · 1 year

Text

the band-aid to my wounds

Older!Eddie Munson x naive!Fem!reader - eventual twins Steve Harrington x reader x Kurt Kunckle series| pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3.. TBC

Summary: After stumbling into an old barn after being stranded by your freshly new ex boyfriend, you wake up strangely in a room..that isn't yours..

warnings: talks of cheating, abuse, angst, slight stockholm syndrome at a glance, anxiety, childhood trauma, parent problems; daddy issues, eventual smut, cursing, drinking, smoking, perviness, slight dub-con, miscommunications, blood mention

word count: idk? 1.5k?

previously: 'your stomach knots when he calls you sweetheart.

okay maybe he harmless, just very kindly harmless?

"Here" he throws his arm out, "I'm Eddie, Eddie Munson."

You look down at his hands

rings.

Looking back up at him with a tight lipped smile, taking his hand to shake it aggressively, "y/n."

"Wow y/n, gotta grip there, im assuming somebody properly taught you to shake hands with a someone?"

what?

how did he know that

its probably a common thing to be taught

"Uh yeah thanks.. my dad actually taught me, said it would make me look knowledgeable at job interviews"

He chuckles throwing his head back slightly, "well i dont know about that but definitely does look impressive to some"

I nod not knowing what to say

my stomach growls loudly

he looks down with wide eyes

"Sheesh, are ya in the mood for some breakfast? We actually made quite a lot of and have left overs i can rewarm for ya--

"whos we?"

He smiles softly "Here" -he walks to the door frame turning back to say," ill introduce you to my farm workin family"

family? ok.. that makes me feel a little better to know im not alone

"Sure" i say walking out of the bedroom door with him

getting to the bottom of the stairs--

damn i was carried up these things?

Spotting a blond and a read head; why are they dressed the same?

probably like close or something, ive done that with my best friend

Eddies voice breaking you from your thoughts

"So.. y/n this is Chrissy and Sarah.”

"Hi.." I say quietly but still politely

"Wow! the blonde says getting up to touch my hair; I flinch slightly but let her continue."Your hair looks so soft.. its full too, Sarah come feel-

Now watching the red head scoot on over to me, also having a feel of my hair "oh yeah, your hair reminds me of my mamas, it was also so healthy like this-

"Oh, where is she ? you ask

"She left me."

I swallow automatically feeling horrible "o-oh, im sorry about that

"Eh, that's okay Sarah says surprisingly not sad, " I found a better family being here on the farm"

"wait what do you--

I get interrupted.

At the corner of your eyes, hearing a new male voice, spotting him

damn whos that?

ive never seen such hair on a dude that looks so.. healthy?

"Steve!!" Chrissy yells making you jump ,"come feel y/ns hair its just bout as soft as yours, if not softer"

you look at her with wide eyes saying "Oh thats ok"-

by the time you’ve finished your sentence Steves making it all the way over to you

"Ooh this is soft, very very soft actually."

you look up to him immediately taking in his features

moles, pretty eyes…wow his hair does look good.. i kinda wanna touch it--

NO! dumbass

snapping out of it, you hear steves voice again but his mouths not moving

am i having a stroke?

“Kurt, Kurtie come meet y/n”

who the hell is kur—

I look over seeing the same face as Steve’s

oh fuck theres another one?

“Hi y/n im Kurt, Steves twin brother”, he grabs your hand to shake and you’re just standing there with amazement not replying

he looks.. the exact same as Steve but something is different..

his hair.. a bit more flat..unwashed maybe?

damn he looks good though

feeling a hand graze your back, forgetting to breathe

“Miss y/n ya feelin alright?”

It’s Eddies voice, and hand that clears your head

“ Oh..uh yeah, sorry guess I was a bit stunned to see that uh Kurt? and Steve look exactly alike” I say slightly chuckling and finally turning around to look at Eddie

shit

its much brighter in here

Eddie. so this is what he looks like

his hair in a low ponytail, tanktop covefred by a flannel..tattoos? dirty overalls and are those buny slippers?

he catches your gaze to the floor and the confusion on you face

he laughs. “Oh these are Chrissy’s bedroom shoes, havent put my boots on yet and our dog chewed mine all to hell” he smiles widely

looking back at him, “Oh no it looks fine to me..”

you melt at the warmth of his smile

are those dimples. damnit thats my weakness

“ I got your food warmed up for you”

“oh cool, t-thank you” i say following him to the kitchen table, i turn back to give a slight wave to rest of the house then back to following Eddie

——————

“She seems nice, dosent she? Sarah says outloud

“Yeah and so pretty too, kinda jelous of her hair” Chrissy states

“Now dear—, Kurt starts “you know jelously is never good for the heart”

“ I know” Chrissy says “i dont mean it as a bad thing..its like i want her hair type of thing i promise and besides, Steve you felt her hair, its soft like yours wouldnt ya say?”

“Yes, its real soft honey” he replies licking his lips as he looks in your direction from the livingroom. “..real soft he mumbles to himself heading to the sink

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After sitting down to with Eddie looking down at my plate theres a biscuit, eggs, bacon and fresh cut fruit

“Looks good” i say glacing at him with a small smile

“Thanks” he grins, watching you eat lookin around to see if anyones around

“Now i wont push, but do you wanna tell me why and how i found you in my barn asleep?”

I swallow hard on my strawbeery a bit too harshly coughing, grabbig the water that was also placed on the table, sipping it

clearing your throat looking nervously. he notices.

“Its okay, i wont tell the others if you would like this to be private.. but it is my farm and i just need to know whata young lady like you was cuddling up in my barn

nodding understaningly “yeah no, i totally understand, a few miles after walking”—

—“you walked here?” he asks worried

“Yeah, it was fine ive walked in the dark plenty of times. It doesn’t scare me” he nods for you to continue. “Me and my probably now ex boyfried got into a big fight, found out he cheated he called me crazy when the proof was physically all over his neck,—“ you dont notice you’re just rambiling now—

—and he wanted to be a dick and leave me on the street and just.. left! can you belive that shit..asshole”

—oh shit sorry” i cover my mouth

“Thats okat sweetheart i cuss all the time”

theres that gut wrenching twist from that name again.

“Uh, may i ask, you said "probably" broke up? are you not certain?”

“Oh no i am, i dont stay with cheaters no matter how long we’ve been together”

“ And how long is that?”

“6 years..”

his eyes widen and shakes his head dissaprovingly, “Thats alot time hun, I am sorry about that”

“Eh, his actions over the years start to make sense to me now.. its honestly not surprising he did cheat..makes me wonder how many times he truly has..” you say pushing your food around shrugging

“Eddie reaches over placing his hand over yours soothingly, catching your line

I get chills from the warmth and rough feeling of his hand, finally looking at his face in full—

how did i not see those before? asking myself

his..his eyes their so beauifu—

“Hey yn/!”

both Eddie and you separate hands, jumping back at Chrissy’s sudden surpise

“Y-yes?” you say slighlty annoyed

i kinda miss the warmth of his hand

bitch, calm down you have a boyfeind

no the fuck i dont

“What can i do for you Chrissy?”

“..well, i wanted to ask if you could braid?” she say sitting down at the table beside you

“Yeah, i can why do you ask?”

she sighs, “nobody in the house knows how to braid but Eddie, and his dry hands yank my baby hairs too much”—

“Hey! its not my fault” Eddie interjects

“ I gave you lotion for it ya know”

“Yeah you did, and i keep forgetting to use it” you chuckle causing them both to smile at each other and then at you

“was wondering when you’re done and if you wouldn’t mind..if you could braid my hair?”

i mean.. shes harmless its just hair

“Yes, I was just finsihing up anyways”

“Chris? what do we say when we ask for somethig?” Eddie arches his brow at her

“Sorry.. please?”

your eyes slighly scrunch, “thats okay I was going to anyways” i say back to Eddie

“ I know hun, just know its good to have manners is all” I nod at is reply turning to braid the back of her hair, seeing Eddie at the corner of your eye, to take your cleared plate. you stop him

“Oh i could have taken that for you “ saying looking up at him walk to the kicten

“Thats alright, i was headed this way anyway” he says winking at you before clearing the room

----------

Walking back to the sink Eddie spots the twins, emptying your plate turning to make conversation. “So what do you think Ed?” Steve asks “Yeah, whats your thoughs on y/n?” Kurt adds—“she looks nice,—and very sweet too” Steve says looking at Eddie, then all 3 of them look back at you, admirng you braid Chrissy’s hair

“Yeah, she is a sweet one isn’t she?” real..sweet thinks Eddie snapping out of stare

“Hey, aren’t yall suppsoed to be rollin them hay bells we got extra from Rick yesterday, its gonna storm I’m pretty sure, and i dont need them gettin all soggy”

Both Kurt and Steve groan, nodding heading out the door grabbing their hats on their way out.

After finishing Chrissy’s hair and her thankinng you with a hug, skipping out, I make my way over to the kitchen spotting a phone, then Eddie beside it,

“Can i use your phone?, I think it was about time i get out of your hair and find a way home”

“Sure darlin, but it may not work, the service out here is very poor”

you nod and he moves letting you continue with your task

dialing the only person you can think to call.

fuck.

Ashton.

1 dial, 2 dial, 3 times trying his phone you exhale agitated

maybe he can take me home?

“Mr. Eddie?”

going to find where he went seeing him standing and turning up the weather channel hearing:

Today the forcast shows severe thunderstorms and hail later today at 2pm–

I glance at the clock on the wall reading 1:55pm

shit

-and 2 tornado watches. There hasn’t been a tornado in Hawkins in 6 years, the dry weather must be causing this it. the woman jokes on the televishon, while you trun around to go look outside at the clouds.

Eddie watches and follows along, trying not to scare you, walking out of the backdoor also

“By the looks on your face im assuming nobody answered huh?”

“hm? looking back from the sky to him, —“oh no.. he didn’t of course he didn’t, prick i utter.

“ I’m assuming your ex boyfriend?”

“Ashton yeah, called 3 times probably out fucking another whore” you say spit vomiting cuss words

“Gosh, sorry! I know i have anasty mouth”

his cheeks flush at your statement, “no, its quite alright sweetheart , im not judging you”

you nod giving a tight lipped smile, looking at the ground not knowing what do now—

“ I can try and take ya home? you have anyone else who can”—

interrupting him, knowing hes probably talking about your parents

—“my parents? yeah no thats a joke..”

He comes up closer with a hand on your shoudler, which you eye subtlely “May i ask what happend with them? if you dont mind?”

“Its fine, my dads an abusive drunk and my step mom.. shes every bad word I could think of right now”—

“Wheres your real mom?”

damn so may questions

you shift your eyes uncomfortably he notices hes gone too far

“ I-im sorry, I keep just a nit picking arent i..?”

“No, its a funny story..shes actually married to my boyfriends father”

“Oh” he says in actual shock

“ I know right” reading his face. “ it’s a crazy story, maybe another time”—

so you want another time too? He thinks

—“and by looks at the sky”—

both jumping at the sound of rumbled thunder and instant rain and hail falling out if th sky

“Jesus Christ!”

I hear from afar turing to see both Steve and Kurt holing ass back to the house with soaked shirts

oh god

making way for them to get inside along with Eddie and you—

“Well.. sorry miss y/n i dont think its too safe to attempt to drive you home right now”

my heart pangs with a odd feeling. “Thats alright its safer to wait, right?”

“..Right, welp, just you make yourself at home until then and let me know if you need anything okay sweetheart?”

“Y-yes, I will thank you mr Eddie”

“Just Eddie” he smiles at the name walking off, leaving you here standing by yourself, taking in a real look at the house, spotting the girls, choosing to go take a seat with them on the couch

what the hell am i supposed to do!?

arguing with myself glancing to the right, spotting the twins with Eddie working on some door frame; catching him smile deeply at you

I gulp giving him a quick smile then turning my attention back to whatever’s on the tv screen, in silence.

Reblogs appreciated :>

#older!eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #steve harrington x reader #the band aid to my scars #kurt kunkle x reader #stockholm syndrome #daddy!eddie munson #daddy issues #naive reader #eddie munson x steve harrington #steddie x reader #kurtsworld96 #joseph quinn #joe keery #perv!eddie munson #dilf!eddie munson #perv!steve harrington #tw abandonment #chrissy cunningham

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headkiss · 2 years

Note

hii!! îve seen that your request were open so what about a smutty fanfic of eddie x reader with the song tear you apart by she wants revenge? tysm babe!

so this ended up being some vampire!eddie and idk what came over me but i hope u like it 😅 | 0.6k words, smut, and a vampire bite

“I wanna fucking tear you apart, baby.”

The words are spoken into the skin of the back of your neck, slick with sweat. Eddie’s mouth pushes kisses there between his dirty, dirty words. He has you bent over his dresser, his things pushed away into a mess on the floor to make room for you.

It’s not unlike him to get this way. To need you so intensely that he can’t help but be rough. You know in the morning he’ll apologize profusely for the bruises he’s sure to leave from how he holds you, and you know you’ll be ready to reassure him that you love it, love him.

His kisses move to the side of your neck, the hinge of your jaw, just below your ear. You can feel his fangs poke against your skin, never breaking it, but there nonetheless.

So, yes, he’s your dirty, dirty vampire boyfriend. And he’s about to fuck you stupid.

He flips the hem of your skirt up, rips your underwear right off of you with a promise to replace them later. He’s quick to make you come the first time, knowing exactly how to move his fingers to get you there, to open you up for him.

Then, “you ready, sweet thing?”

You can feel him hard against your ass, his pants and boxers pulled down just enough to free him. “Yes.”

“Gonna take real good care of you, yeah?”

“Please, Eddie.”

He pushes in when he hears you say ‘please.’ He doesn’t know how you feel better and better each time he has you, but you do. He’ll say this was the best sex you’ve had until you have it again, and the cycle will continue. He’s endlessly grateful to have you as a partner, someone so perfect for him sometimes he’s convinced he made you up.

“Fuck, so good, baby,” he groans, his face burying itself into your neck once more.

“God,” you reach back with one arm to grab hold of him anywhere you can, the other gripping the edge of the dresser.

“Just me,” you can practically hear the smirk in his voice.

He’s perfect and you think you might collapse from how he makes you feel. His arms around your waist would hold you up if you did.

You feel his fangs poke against your neck again when his mouth drops open in a pant, pressed against your skin, still. It still feels unreal that he’s not a human, because he’s still the exact same as before, only now he drinks blood and has insane stamina.

“Bite me,” you breathe out.

“What?” He slows down ever so slightly, but picks up when you whine in protest.

“Bite me, Eddie. Please, I wanna feel it.”

You’ve always been curious and you figure that now is as good a time as ever to ask. There’s no way he would hurt you and you know it, you never doubted that.

“Fuck. Fuck, are you sure?”

He’s almost ashamed to admit that the thought turns him on. Of you having his mark on your neck, of getting to taste what runs through the veins of the person he loves so much. But here you are, tilting your neck and begging him to bite you.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Stop me if it hurts, okay?”

“You won’t hurt me.”

No, it doesn’t hurt at all. You actually moan when you feel his teeth sink into your skin, the pull of his mouth. If anything, it feels good. It pushes you closer to that edge that’s been building and building.

“Holy shit, Eddie,” you whine. “‘M gonna come.”

He pulls back only to say, “do it. Come all over me,” then he dives back in.

You do, so hard that you think you blacked out for a few minutes because when you’re aware of your surroundings again, Eddie’s pulling out of you and licking over the wound he left on your neck. Spent and shining with sweat, and so, so pretty.

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riotwritesthings · 11 months

Text

Come on, Baby, Won't You Give Me Some?

WinterIron - M, 700 - Fluff, Humor, post-confession, post-coital, afterglow, aftermath

After the confessions and the getting together, Tony and Bucky revisit an old conversation. Namely, ‘clothes everywhere, everyone’s sweaty and sore and covered in bite marks.’

This has been sitting in my drafts forever and idk I'm just on a finishing things kick. plz enjoy.

Sequel to I Want Love in the Aftermath

With a final groan, Tony lets himself collapse down on top of Bucky. Their sweat-slicked skin slides together in a way that would no-doubt have Tony’s cock trying to fill again if he were just a couple of years younger, but as it is all of his muscles feel like pulled taffy and Tony isn’t even sure he can move at the moment.

“Holy fuck,” he sighs into the warm skin of Bucky’s throat, more than a little stunned at just how unbelievable that had been. Tony is no stranger to crazy amazing sex, but holy fuck.

Bucky lets out a hum of agreement, his hands moving over Tony’s back. After a second he adds “I think your elbow is digging into my spleen.”

“You’re tough, you’ll live without your spleen,” Tony says and doesn’t even pretend to consider moving. His thighs are starting to ache and protest being spread wide on either side of Bucky’s hips, but that’s not going to move him either.

“Heartless,” Bucky says with a heavy sigh that has his chest rising and falling, and Tony along with it.

“That’s not what you said earlier,” Tony points out, a wide smile taking over his face. He lifts his head just enough to point his grin up at Bucky as he teases, “You said that I have a giant heart.”

“I don’t remember that,” Bucky says with a sniff, and he’s doing a terrible job of fighting down the smile growing on his face.

“Yup,” Tony says, popping his lips on the last letter, but his teasing tone is ruined by the fond warmth that fills his voice as he continues, “In fact, you said you love my giant heart, you just can’t stay away.” He waits while Bucky makes a couple of thoughtful noises, like he hadn’t said those exact words an hour ago, and then Tony adds, ”Also, my ass. I very distinctly remember you saying that you love my ass.”

“I sure do,” Bucky acknowledges with a huff of laughter, and then rolls over onto his side without warning.

Tony makes a sound caught somewhere between a squawk and a groan as he’s dumped onto the mattress, Bucky’s cock finally slipping out of him in the process. Once he stops bouncing slightly, he doesn’t hesitate to throw an arm over Bucky and snuggle in closer with a lazy sigh.

When he catches sight of his arm, though, Tony’s eyes widen. He lifts his head again so he can start taking inventory of the clear teeth marks that litter his skin, along his arm and all across his chest. There are hickies down his stomach, covering his thighs, and Tony laughs abruptly as a memory comes back to him.

“What?” Bucky asks, eyebrow raised and lips twitching like he’s trying to decide if he should be offended or laugh along.

“You weren’t kidding about the bite marks,” Tony says with a wiggle of his eyebrows, “‘the aftermath’ indeed.”

Bucky’s eyebrows pull together adorably in confusion before he clearly remembers the same conversation that Tony did. The one from several months ago, when they each walked into the kitchen only to be ambushed by most of the team demanding to know their preferred term for afterglow.

Tony doesn’t remember most of the conversation, but he definitely remembers Bucky’s answer. It had haunted him and he’s feeling pretty pleased that he finally got to experience it firsthand, especially when a smug grin starts to spread across Bucky’s face.

“Whoops,” Bucky says, dry and not at all apologetic, and Tony laughs as he sidles in a little closer.

Bucky pulls him in with a low, happy sound, brushing the hair away from Tony’s forehead before placing a kiss in the same spot. They lapse into a comfortable silence, tangled together and running their hands lazily over every inch of skin that they can reach. Tony makes a soft noise of complaint when Bucky pulls back just enough to look down at him, but reluctantly squints his eyes open.

”I never asked,“ Bucky says, like he can’t believe it’s just occurring to him, ”what was your answer to that question?“

Tony actually has to think for a second before he remembers, and then he feels a heated smirk spread across his face.

“Foreplay,” he says, and isn’t surprised at all when Bucky yanks him into another kiss.

#my fic #winteriron #starkbucks #bucky/tony #riot writes

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st-asya · 3 months

Text

Okay, so my passion is whatever my current hyperfixation is and commenting something everyone has already commented. Here we go.

•••

Pilot

1. Things did not go as planned...

Love the way the colour of the font switches to red instead of staying some basic white as the rest of the text, cause my life always does the same, metaphorically speaking, when shit happens (well if somebody typed everything that happens in my life). It's like honey, red means passion and your passion (one more) is turning every single thing in your life to shit when you wanna change something really bad, so imma change the colour for you not to forget that you're gonna fuck something up. Right off the bat, symbolic. Red is my fav colour btw, wonder why (it's, as fall out boy said, a sign (×5) indeed).

2. Pirate bard (?) sounds pretty nice (and beautiful), I already like Frenchie.

3. The "what we're about do will be perilous" speech.

(Why did I instantly think about Lord Farquaad, what's wrong with me?)

And oh my God, the whole bit where Stede talks to the crew is borderline ptsd-loaded flashback, cause I used to work as a teacher so I had to talk to the kids ofc and say something to a class full of students who looked at me the exact same way.

4. Wee John's raised hand and saying that they gotta talk about whatever they're gonna take part in and Stede's enthusiastic yes, damn that hit too close to home. These kinda students are a blessing, btw

5. "We talk it through as a..." and the reluctant ass "crewwwww", my ptsd horrors persist, but so do I. That's the exact same experience I had at work, there's no difference.

6. "Keep it straight if you can" (they couldn't, in fact, keep it straight). Love the way there's a place for choice, cause it's not an order, it's a pretty mild (gentlemanly, see what I did there, huh?) request. Love the way it's not strictly needed (and completely forgotten as the story goes on).

7. Lucius's face expressions throughout the ep are my normal face expressions, wonder why people don't usually think I'm friendly and always ready to chat actually (that's prolly cause they can't read my mind, that's on them duh).

8. "I'll be your robber here today", we all fell for him right this instant, didn't we?

It reminds me of the time I worked as a shop assistant (my career choices are a mess, I know), cause essentially that's who I was, I just had to word it slightly differently so customers would give us their money willingly.

9. The leg crossing and uncrossing is just... Yeah. Idk how to elaborate, I just get it. Completely in character for the character, let's put it that way.

10. The arts and crafts bit is the school experience all over again, I cannot shake this feeling. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being a teacher a great deal (that's exactly why I don't work as a teacher anymore, yeah).

11. Going from making dresses to being a pirate sounds precisely like my careers changing plans, really.

12. "Do you think Blackbeard's crew sews?" Holy shit, I'd love to see Izzy sew.

13. The mini speech about cats, why is Frenchie so adorable omg

14. Not killing your captain for the sake of hearing the story in full sounds like a solid idea, ngl

15. The complete collective aversion to Lucius's wooden boy voice pls. Turns out Stede stays alive only cuz the crew doesn't want to hear Lucius read, that's loyalty right there.

16. "I've made a mistake, I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot". Well, omitting the pirate part, it's as relatable as it can possibly get. Ouch

17. Eye. No thoughts, just eye.

18. Stede hiding from the navy is me hiding from my problems, we've got the exact same style of solving them.

19. "It's always the quiet ones", cause usually it's the quiet ones who have to put up with all the shit there can possibly be and they're usually accused of being soft at the same time, I mean you cannot blame Stede for snapping, that's what Badminton deserved (I sound way too bloodthirsty, don't I...)

20. Oul's "might as well enjoy it while it lasts" speaks to me on more levels than I'd like to admit. I love Olu's levelheadedness (is this even a word)

21. I love the way all the flags are up there, it's important for everyone to be included, love this detail so much.

•••

So that's basically just a retelling of the plot with bits of my tho(ugh)ts, tried not to digress too much and not to make it way too personal (initially there were 31 points😅). I'm just genuinely curious to know what the dynamic of my perception of the series will look like at the end, so dear diary, 🎶be prepaaaaaaaared🎶

#ofmd #our flag means death

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heatwa-ves · 4 months

Note

okay tell me a bit abt clara i need to know more abt my blorbo in law

YAYYY I did try to keep this reasonably short but I failed. and there's like 20 minutes worth of videos in here too but I hope it's still an enjoyable read

clara was introduced as a character in one episode and she dies at the end of it and people were like oh okay she's just a minor character in that one episode, and then later on it that series after the previous companion characters leave there's another episode with clara and it's in a completely different setting and the doctor (matt smith/eleven) is like huh. what. I saw you die on a spaceship why are you in victorian london. and she has no memory of him and is like lol what the fuck are you talking about. so they gallivant around and she dies at the end of that episode again with the exact same last words and at this point the doctor is getting a bit freaked out. anyway he ends up finding clara again in modern day london (because it's always fucking london. why is it never idk. bournemouth. let's have a character from bournemouth next.) and again she has no memory of him bla bla plot stuff happens and at the end of the episode he asks her to travel with him and she tells him to ask her again tomorrow because while everything in her wants to say yes she wants to keep control of the situation and have this be on her terms. anyway they travel together for a bit in what I refer to as dws flop era it's just. not a good season with the exception of maybe two episodes. but at the end of this series in order to save the doctors life clara enters his like. time stream? and so she's in so many places in his life to like. save him or whatever which is why there's so many versions of her all of whom die. the real her is fine tho. anyway a few episodes later the doctor is dying it's a really shit episode in my opinion but he regenerates into the next doctor (peter capaldi/twelve) and this is where things get good.

so when a doctor regenerates ofc their appearance changes but also some aspects of their personality do too for example nine who has been hurt by the war is healing and being loved and he becomes ten who's young and flirty and perfect for the girl he loves and then ten after going through so much emotional pain and loss regeneration is like healing and he becomes eleven who's happy and fun and then eleven after spending the final hundreds of years of his life in one place rather than travelling he becomes twelve who is older wiser and a little gruff and sarcastic but to clara this is a completely different man to the doctor she loved and she kinda hates him for it!! he also abandons her (not really but it feels like it to her) in a room full of robots who want to kill her and she has a really nice monologue etc etc more stuff happens and at the end of the episode she assumes he's abandoned her in victorian london but he comes back to her of course and then there's my favourite scene ever which is SO important for their relationship

they end up traveling together for a while and while they're not traveling clara works as an english teacher and ends up getting to know another teacher there called danny. I hate danny. which sucks because I like the idea and I like some of the things they do with him but he's SO annoying his only personality trait is that he's an ex soldier which okay fair there's a lot of similar themes throughout this series but that's all he is. he's an ex soldier there is nothing else to him. anyway their first date is kind of disastrous and clara storms out but then ends up meeting him in the past and also his descendant in the future and that makes her go back to the date and try to make it work even tho it really isn't. then they rob a bank this isn't particularly relevant but it is fun. by this point she is slightly spiralling trying to keep both parts of her life separate and working perfectly and she's kind of exhausted. then in a catastrophic series of events danny finds out about the doctor and that's claras not good very bad day but she keeps going. anyway then her and the doctor and one of her students end up on the moon and after a lot of bullshit they're left with the choice of if to blow up the moon or not. and here the doctor leaves her he says he's not human he has nothing to say and she calls him essentially a selfish asshole how can he say it's not his world when he breaths their air walks their ground and loves their people and she despises him for doing this to her and for putting her student at risk. there's also a 2014 tumblr cameo in this episode which is deeply disturbing.

at this point she talks with danny and she decides to stop traveling with the doctor. so they plan one last trip before she leaves for good and they go to the orient express in space! except of course it's not a nice relaxing trip there's murders and a mummy! Yay! clara meets and befriends another passenger called maisie who's one of my fav minor characters and they get trapped in a room and talk a lot and there's a line I love "it would be so much easier if we just liked the people we're supposed to like (danny) but then there wouldn't be any fairy tales (the doctor and the tardis and the whole universe)" which is confirmation for what was pretty obvious at this point; that clara doesn't actually love danny, she just thinks she should. again, control freak, wants a perfect life, this is what she SHOULD have but this is not what she wants. anyway turns out maisie will be the next to die and the doctor tells clara to lie to her that she can be saved. and this is only furthering claras hatred for him but she does it anyway (and so begins the doctorification. she becomes more and more similar to him which then leads to a whole arc later on) turns out he could save maisie but he wasn't sure if he could so he would rather clara think him cruel for lying to maisie rather than have her feel betrayed if he promised to save her and failed. and then there's this scene and she hasn't completely forgiven him but she's reminded of how much she loves him and "sometimes the only choices are bad ones, but you still have to choose" is perfectly reflective of her impossible decision in the last episode. after this danny calls and he asks if it's over and she says yes despite the fact she fully intends to keep traveling with the doctor. and thus begins the lying to danny! at the end of this phone call she hesitates and then says really loudly "I love you" to which danny replies out of focus and then it cuts to the doctor. and the actor confirmed she's saying this to twelve not to danny. insanity!!!!

and wow. all that was just on one episode. and the next episode is equally a banger!!! this one is entirely clara centric and it's more doctorification. the doctor becomes her little purse dog (he gets shrunk really tiny and can't do anything) and she takes on his role in investigating and leading people. there's a part where he asks what she's going to do and she says "lie to them, give them hope" and that's an oh moment because now she's doing exactly what he did last episode. it's brilliant. she also lies to Danny about how she's so totally not with the doctor lol and then through some very clever antics they save the day and she says "why won't you tell me I was good" and he says something along the lines of "you were an excellent doctor, goodness had nothing to do with it." banger line. moving on some more episodes happen and there's one where the earth is about to be destroyed and I do like this episode it gets a lot of hate but I don't think it's bad aside from a really weird anti meds sentiment which he would not fucking say. anyway! more clara danny interactions where she doesn't love him but thinks she should and there's a part where the doctor says he has a role because earth is his planet too which is a lovely callback to what clara told him before! we love a man who learns. and then more stuff happens and it gets to a point where clara decides she can't keep lying to danny and she plans to tell him everything but as they're on the phone he gets into a car accident on his way to see her and by the time she gets there it's too late.

she gets so upset and irrational and calls the doctor and there's these two incredible scenes anddd then the doctors childhood friend slash lover slash nemesis shows up and is like happy birthday babe here's a present (invasion of earth) there's not too much clara in this episode but she does (accidentally) tell danny to his face that the only man she'll ever love is the doctor. ouch. and then danny dies and clara lies to the doctor that he's alive and she'll be fine so that the doctor can return to his home planet and the doctor lies to clara that he's found his home planet so that she can live a normal life with danny but neither of these things are true and so they're just both pretty miserable for a bit. and then santa saves the day brings them back together etc etc lovely episode brilliant claraisms gorgeous ending scene but I've shown you enough scenes that I'll try and speed through this one

and so begins series 9 and their messy codependent era where they are both insanely hurt from the events of the last few episodes and losing danny and the return of twelves weird ex who he's still forever in love with. yay! let's go quickly through S9 first of all the doctor reunites with his arch nemesis (not the gay one from a few episodes ago) meanwhile clara is having lesbian hate sex without any actual sex involved and getting put inside of a dalek. then there's under the lake/before the flood which are some really nice episodes for twelveclaraisms they parallel the finale PERFECTLY but an actual discussion of that would take several hours and I don't wanna take up any more of your time. just know there's an incredible clara line "if you love me in any way you'll come back" some stuff happens they go to viking britain slash scandanavia it's unclear and I got really mad because there are electric eels featured heavily in this episode and they don't live outside of south america. anyway there's some really nice doctor characterization but that's not the point all that's relevant is he forces immortality upon a dying girl to save her and she grows to hate him for it. he gives her a second immortality thing in case "she meets someone she can't bear to lose." the foreshadowing is heavy handed. then clara gets impersonated by an alien then there's a bullshit episode that idr much about other than twelveclara hold hands and it's something along the lines of clara saying im not scared and the doctor saying i am. 💖 AND NOW. THE FINALE. THE TWELVECLARA EPISODES. MY ROMAN EMPIRE.

so there's three parts to the finale the first is called face the raven and clara gets a call from a friend of hers who I don't think I mentioned yet but anyway. he woke up with a timer counting down on the back of his neck and is freaked out so they investigate and discover a hidden alien village in, you guessed it, london! It's always fucking london. anyway the vibes are delectable it's soooo cool and here they run into the woman the doctor made immortal her name is lady me and she's essentially leading this village. turns out the timer is counting down to death and it's put on him because he's been framed for a murder etc etc plot stuff very good. it turns out you can transfer the timer to another person of they're willing and do clara convinces him to transfer it to her to buy them more time because reasons I forgot. turns out once the timer is transferred it can't be removed! and the doctor gets pissed he's threatened to bring hell down upon lady me if she doesn't do anything but clara tells him to stop and she's always been the only person he listens to. he goes to say something to her and she stops him and says "whatever you're about to say, I already know" and they have such a tender moment and then she steps out alone as the timer runs out and she dies.

the next part is called heaven sent and this one is about the doctor long story short he's trapped in a giant castle and is looking through it while hiding from this spectre of sorts born from his childhood nightmares. there's a portrait of clara on one of the walls and the show writers said on the back of the portrait is the clue to how he can get out but he can't bring himself to turn her face to the wall to see the back. sobs. anyway he journeys through this castle and at the end there's a massive wall made of a material harder than diamond between him and the exit and he punches the wall but nothing happens ofc because it's so thick. the spectre thing then has him on the brink of death and he drags himself back to where he entered the castle and through some sci-fi nonsense repeats the day. it's a timeloop yippee!!! the tiny tiny crack his fist made on the wall stays and so he repeats this again and again and again and again and he dies repeatedly in this loop making miniscule chips in the wall for FOUR AND A HALF BILLION YEARS just for the minute CHANCE that he could save clara. if I had to pick an absolute favourite doctor who episode it would be this one it is a masterpiece

and the final episode is called hell bent. the doctor emerges onto his home planet does some time travel shit and manages to find clara at the very moment of her death between her last heartbeat and extracts her from there. she's able to talk and move but she's kind of in stasis and half dead. he goes against his moral code in this moment and kills a man (she wakes up as a woman it's fine) because that's how dedicated he is to clara!!!! sobs.. they escape and travel to the end of the universe in the hopes that as they're so far from her point of death the stasis will end and she'll come back to life even tho this goes against the laws of time and could destroy everything he doesn't care because it's her. here they run into lady me again and she talks about how they've become so similar that they drive eachother to extremes. more conversations and stuff and the doctor says he plans to erase claras memory of him so his people can't find and kill her because she's a defect in the flow of time. Or something. and she goes FUCK no and attempts to reverse the polarity on the memory thing but they don't know if she succeeded and there's some very lovely moments meanwhile me is in the corner just standing there and they decide they'll press the thing together and one of them will lose their memory but they don't know who and clara says I dont think I'll ever forget you and the doctor says I don't think you'll have to. and falls unconscious.

he wakes up in america (jumpscare) and makes his way to a diner which he had been to before with previous friends. he talks to the waitress there and plays her a song and everything in the diner is another contender for best dw scene ever. he plays a song on his guitar and he says I think it's called "clara" and she says something along the lines of "if memories we have forgotten because stories, maybe some of them become songs" and the waitress is clara of course but he doesn't recognise or remember her and im stupid emotional just thinking about it. and she leaves and she along with lady me have to travel back to the point of her death and restore the flow of time atho they definitely have weird lesbianisms beforehand but that's beside the point. the doctor leaves and he sees the tardis is painted

and when I tell you I sobbed upon seeing this. I will never recover.

in his last episode one season later he ends up regaining his memories of clara right before dying and I sobbed like a baby. yay! anyway this turned into more of a twelveclara answer than just clara but I hope you enjoyed reading and you see why I'm so insane over them 🥺

#tia answers #miki 💖#once again i am so sorry this is so long. i tried to keep it a reasonable length but uh. i have mant feelings about them #**many #and this isn't even all of it....

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lindwurmkai · 2 years

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Oh I forgot to mention this here but recently I actually figured out the reason why I sometimes have that seemingly bizarre reaction to other people's benign descriptions of their experiences where I get disproportionately annoyed just because my own experiences are different. (Idk if my post about that still exists; I suspect I may have deleted it)

It's just the tail end of a long chain reaction that started with regularly having my emotions and perceptions dismissed as a child. Later I would frequently describe my internal experiences to all kinds of people from friends to therapists, only to find no one understood what the hell I was talking about. That's why a large part of my time on social media has been spent desperately posting about these things over and over, hoping to find anyone who could relate - because I needed someone to confirm that it was possible for a human to have these experiences. Or I secretly wanted to be challenged so I could at least defend myself. I was already being attacked by my own subconscious after all, and an external opponent would have been easier to defeat.

Unfortunately, during many years of regular oversharing, the most common response I got was total silence though. Sometimes a friend would express sympathy or someone would say they could relate, only to immediately reveal they misinterpreted my words and meant a slightly different experience. It was extremely rare that I found someone who actually experienced the same thing.

This silence started to feel more and more hostile over time. "No one ever answers me when I ask for advice on here!" "I bet they all think I'm talking nonsense and they're just too polite to say it!" "Come at me already! Tell me why you think my experiences are fake or morally wrong!" "Stop ignoring me when I nonconfrontationally point out that my experiences don't match a common narrative; it's tempting me to do it again but in a confrontational tone this time!"

The only thing attacking me was my deeply ingrained mistrust of my own perceptions though. I didn't even consciously feel like I was doubting myself half the time, I was just preparing for battle with some theoretical person who would surely emerge from the woodworks any moment now, or if they didn't, well, then they were clearly a coward. 😐

Once this had happened a few times in relation to a specific subject, any mention of that subject that even alluded to a different experience than mine would remind me of the frustration of never getting a response. I would skip straight ahead to the anger I had eventually ended up feeling the previous times. "This shit again. I bet if I said something, I'd be ignored as usual."

(I'm sure it doesn't help that I used to have friends who would literally ignore me, in direct conversation, because they didn't feel like explaining why they were mad at me or thought a question I'd asked was stupid. My mother did that, too.)

Unfortunately this makes me sound like the villain in that "hi! Most annoying person you've ever met here" meme, but that's not how I usually address these things. I'll either make my own post or reblog with an addition along the lines of, "This is fascinating because I experience the exact opposite. Does it work that way for anyone else here??"

But because I don't get any responses, sometimes the silliest things turn into huge pet peeves very fast. Next thing I know I'm in the notes of every post about the subject that crosses my dash, searching for that one person who is expressing disagreement or confusion for the same reasons as mine. But I'm afraid even when I find one, and see that they're being ignored, it's still not much of a comfort. The need to have my perceptions confirmed as Real, Possible Human Experiences by just one person has suddenly morphed into the need to be acknowledged by those who feel differently.

Perhaps at that point it's about wanting permission to continue having that experience. Permission to exist. But I cannot stress enough how often the subject matter is something completely silly where morals shouldn't even enter the equation! And I'm thirty-six. I can't help but feel like I should be much more mature and well-adjusted by now. The way people my age sometimes talk about younger people can ironically set off this phenomenon as well because it makes me think I can't be a real person who exists if I relate more to the teenager being criticized than the person my age who's doing the criticising and making it about being young like that explains it.

Is it any wonder the form of dissociation I experience most often is depersonalisation? On reflection, no.

#weirdo chronicles #that got longer than intended

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22degreehalo · 5 months

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Sooo once again recently I have been browsing various queer-centric merchandise on etsy and the like, and (as always) been disappointed at the quantity/quality of aspec-focused stuff. Which also ties in to an overall (IMO) egregious lack of aspec... memey stuff?? and general place in, like, actual community everyday conversation, outside of painfully repetitive and boring identity glossaries.

And. It's difficult. It really feels so difficult, sometimes. To talk about being aspec without

a) being sex-negative in really gross, harmful ways (that just as often harm other aspecs btw)

b) being like... super self-deprecating in a way that I feel also harms aspecs and reinforces the idea of us as losers and failures in a kind of 'are they laughing at us or with us' kind of way.

One way is to lean into the silly quirky 'food is better than sex' kind of thing, and also puns. The puns I like but a really shitty and awful part of myself deep down sometimes finds the food stuff actually kind of. cringey...? Which is stupid and I hate it but once again I feel myself being made fun of by allos and also it's just. kind of shallow and a one-note joke that has been overdone at this point (due to lack of other options) for me personally

The other big way I've seen is to lean into the whole confident rejection schtick. Big 'Nope' word art and the like. And that's fine but it often feels a bit too... misanthropic? for me. I like people!!!!! Or it's very female-focused and feeds too much into that whole ideals of 'women who let men touch them are Tainted' and/or 'women deserve better than men' which I. hate.

so I've been wondering a lot if what I'm wanting - memey/funny aspec-focused stuff that actually feels authentic and at least some tiny amount of original - is even possible?

So far my ideas are. a) make it casual/nonclinical by going so fucking dorky that it wraps around in the other direction. like idk a shirt that says 'Asexuality: the lack of sexual attraction to people of all genders. Hope that helps guys!!! Subscribe for more cool asexuality facts :)' I think if I saw that shirt I'd slightly suspect I was being made fun of but would vibe so hard I'd still like it unironically lmfao

Softening the rejection stuff also could be fun. Like 'I love every person in the world!! (as a friend <3)' or something. more eloquent lol

And just, in general non-sequiturs. It bugs me so inordinately when I see those kinds of posts or whatever that are like 'I'm tired, I'm gay, and I don't pay taxes' (theoretical example) and like, you could just as well have put 'ace' or 'aro' in there!!!!!! But nobody ever things to do that with us :( as always my plan is to make really cool things but only for ace and aro so we can get to be the ones with things for once hahaha but unfortunately I do not know how to make cool things. Anyway the whole idea here is to write things that make people on reddit go 'uhh, why did you feel the need to mention that you don't date, here...?'

And to cap this off I guess I should affirm that yeah, the self-deprecatory stuff CAN be done well... with a very very VERY precise hand. By which I mean that I was permanently psychologically online-ified by ace discourse and have the sensitivity of an earthquake detector to non-obvious slights against aspecs' importance or worth as human beings. But self-deprecating humour is just kind of our generation's style, so. There's some level of 'yeah I like anime and don't date B)' that is JUST the right balance of 'this is not at all what society says you should be proud of' and 'but fuck it society sucks lmfao I love freaks'.

IN CONCLUSION more aspecs should have my exact same sense of humour but actually good at art. or writing text posts. Or literally anything other than complaining on unpopular tumblrs. no actually we need them too so I can follow you and feel faintly not alone occasionally when our opinions happen to line up. Your honour I rest my case.

#aspec

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riverstardis · 2 years

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five days:

poor robyn being the only one on the maternity ward without a baby with her :(

she reveals she's named her charlotte, charlie for short, which is funny bc i don't remember anyone ever once calling her charlie after these first few episodes

robyn's a little bit in denial as to how charlotte's not out of the woods yet

cal kept treating a dying elderly woman against the daughter's wishes so he failed to give her a peaceful death😬

ah jonathan barling the paeds consultant, he appears a few times in 2018 right? he and/or his wife suffer burns from trying to jump-start a car iirc? and i think he also treated kiegan carr

he's saying that charlotte possibly has an infection. makes sense right i mean she was born prematurely on the floor in a graveyard in the rain. this makes me think how bodhi was also born prematurely (well, we just have to take their word for it lol), on the floor in the woods in december, but he's sent home almost immediately only to come back in with pneumonia a week later😭😭

cal called the daughter in to try and speak to her because he was worried she'd make a complain, and i don't think she was going to make one but she certainly is now! soo perhaps trying to act like sam isn't the best idea?

david's on the psych ward but called nicu to enquire about charlotte and now robyn's trying to find him while charlie and duffy try to stop her😬

robyn pushing charlie over lol

again, amanda henderson is incredible

duffy inviting robyn and charlotte to go live with them to get settled and have some support🥺

mr barling's office looks exactly like the room grace was in, funny that

aw robyn calling connie for support

oop duffy thought she didn't have to ask charlie about asking robyn to move in beforehand because she assumed he would be all for it but he doesn't appear to be...

the woman who made the complaint came back drunk and with a dislocated shoulder and she possibly accidentally revealed to cal that she helped her mum to die so now he's investigating but sam doesn't approve and tells him to stay away and occupy himself with some nurse who showed an interest in him

cal's gone to that woman's house?? funny how she lives in the exact same house that many people who find themselves in the hospital do. idk why i'm noticing the reused sets and locations more than usual in this ep

OH LMAO i forgot the woman neeve's story "i ruined her life" "we all have guilt about our parents somehow" "no i'm adopted. i went looking for my birth mum but i was just really stupid, clumsy, hurtful, and i just broke poor miriam's heart. we didn't speak for years, and then when i came back and found her dying... now i just miss her beautiful soul" bit close to home for cal lol "i went to look for my birth mum too" "so the wounded find each other"

see cal cares too much to succeed at being like sam

max showing robyn the nursery he decorated for charlotte🥺🥺

oop jez and louise accidentally interrupt their heart to heart😭😭

"if she lives or dies, i can't face any of it" "great, so you're doing what your mum did to you?" "don't you dare" "no, come on, she left you when you needed her most and you said that hurt goes on and on, and now you little girl is fighting for her life and you're doing exactly the same thing to her"

charlotte's got a lot of necrotic tissue

she has to have a temporary stoma

"neeve, you spent your whole life not knowing why the mother that carried you gave you away. i know what that does. of course you went looking. sometimes we get stuff wrong." :(

"so the wounded heal each other, eh?"🥺🥺

sam tells cal that he doesn't have to worry about neeve's complaint because she's "obviously slightly bonkers" and doesn't listen to him trying to say that he's already sorted it, and he tells him that he completely ignored his advice and cal says he acted on pure instinct and sam goes "instinct and audacity. all well and fine in the chaos department but reckless line crossing? sorry no room for that in surgery." don't listen to him cal you don't need to be a surgeon anyway!

aww charlotte's waking up and fighting the tube🥺🥺

charlie's decided he does want robyn to come live with them after all

aw robyn hugging mr barling sksjkjdf

only 3 episodes left before reap the whirlwind😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#classic casualty #five days

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tsukishimas-shortcake · 3 years

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Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Ryuguji "Draken" Ken x fem!Reader

↦ Warnings: none? no proof reading? idk its fluff

↦ Word Count: like 800

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello! I've just finished watching TR and am now like 75% through the manga and I've completely fallen in love with the characters. I am currently reconstructing my blog so excuse the mess of links and such! But please follow and request more TR if you like this!!

↦ After writing note: PLEASE REQUEST MORE I LOVED WRITING THIS SO MUCH

So we all know Draken's mom was a prostitute right? so we also know that he grew up in the brothel around women. Women he grew up protecting because he saw them possibly mistreated by clients, so he is a natural protector, especially when he gets older and is more able to kick ass

You first meet in like late elementary school

You dropped something you worked really hard on, a craft of some sort, and he picks it up for you

with the intent of returning it the next day

however when he comes to you with it you tell him just to keep it since he seems to like it

He ends up hanging it on his wall, and even though its a simple craft and not really a gift he sees it as his first gift from a friend

you end up moving away to go to a different middle school and when you meet him again you don't recognize him at all

you got off on the wrong stop and ended up in the "adult" part of town, near the brothel, and of course being a young girl there are some drunk men who are staring and making you uncomfortable.

Draken notices you and doesn't realize it's you either but he moves to walk next to you and asks if your lost. When you turn around he's absolutely speech less

Like do you know that the craft you made is still on his wall because you were his first "friend" and technically his first love?

He recognizes you when you make eye contact and you hear the stereotypical "Y/N-chan?"

You tilted your head slightly and stared at him in confusion before recognizing him and yelping a bit as you hugged him, arms going around his neck with him having to bend down because he's literally a giant. He just laughs when you call him "ken-chan"

Unlike how he wishes Mikey would stop calling him by the childhood nickname that Mikey gave him, he loves when you call him things like that, his favorite being "ken-chan" though.

It starts to get late as you explain you got off at the wrong stop, and you don't really know how to get back

"Would you like me to drive you back? I don't mind..." He says as he shyly is rubbing the back of his neck and you nod

"Do I need to give you like gas money or something? I would hate for you to spend your time driving me... I don't even know how far my house is..." you say since you truly are confused on how you ended up so far away, did you take the wrong route too?

"How about you have a meal with me? We can catch up and then I can drive you back... if that's okay of course..." He says a bit quietly and you just nod

He doesn't want you to know he lives in a brothel because he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable, he's used to the over sexualization of mundane activities but you just seem so pure he doesn't want to taint you

you end up going to this near by diner, he orders you both the meal he normally gets and when it gets there you both just start chatting away, and by the time your done the diner is closing

you end up exchanging numbers and he drives you home

when you get off his bike he moves to stand next to it, helping you take the helmet off and smoothing down your hair, and while he smooths down your hair you're just staring up at him in awe, your heart skipping a beat.

You start to walk to your door before you turn around

"Ken-chan...?" you say shyly, swaying back and forth and he just looks at you and hums in response

"Could we maybe... do this again soon?" You ask with a blush painting over your cheeks and he smiles since he was thinking the exact same thing but didn't know how to go about it

"Of course, just message me when you want to meet up and I'll make sure I'm available." He said, his voice a bit quiet as he tries to contain his excitement

As you tell him goodnight and turn to walk inside he makes sure to watch until he knows you're inside safely.

After his ride home he goes to his room and lays down, getting ready for bed but unable to calm down due to the excitement of seeing you again.

'New Message' notification and he's never reached for his phone faster

'Did you get home safely?' It was a text from you and he blushed a bit, although he's used to dealing with women making remarks that would make anyone shy he isn't used to someone who seems so naive, so nice, so warm, so just... perfect.

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savoryscribbles · 3 years

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Staying At the Wangshu Inn

A/n: Haha how long has it been since I’ve written something???? Idk? Anyways I’m in a new fandom… again,,,, anyways enjoy the fluff

Paring: Diluc x gn!reader

Tags: fluff, only one bed trope, mutual pining, lots of blushing(sorry, you and Diluc be awkward)

Warnings: none? Kinda suggestive???

It’s easy to understand how you got here, but it certainly wasn’t the outcome you hoped for.

Sure you liked Diluc, romantically speaking, had you told him yet… no. There’s no problem with that, only it became increasingly difficult to hide said feelings when you had to be inches apart from said person you were totally not crushing for.

Diluc was confused, he remembered reserving two rooms at the Wangshu Inn, yet only one was available. Had he know this prior, he would have made sure to ask for two(2) beds. Knowing this, and now knowing that only one of the two rooms he asked for were open, made Diluc a little flustered. Sure Diluc was stone cold, and very good at hiding his emotions, but things still catch him by surprise, not to mention his feelings for you was something he had not yet discussed with himself, opting for pushing them away, hoping they’d stay there.

“Are you sure there arnt any rooms available with two beds?” He muttered, hoping you wouldn’t point out his slightly pink face.

“I apologize Master Diluc, but I’m afraid not.” Verr said with a frown. You both sighed at her response, but were to tired to push the matter further, instead accented the stairs to your room.

When entering, the first thing your eyes were drawn to was the bed, which was reassuringly large.

“Umm so…” you started, not sure where you were going with your sentence.

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Diluc responded curtly, somehow knowing what you wanted to say.

“Are you sure? The bed is quite large, I’m sure you’ll hurt in the morning if you sleep on the floor.” You questioned.

“I’ll be alright” he responded with a nod “you should wash up, we’ve had a long day, and another one tomorrow.”

You decide to listen to his words and headed towards the bathroom, before stopping and turning around.

“If you’re really going to sleep on the floor, at least take a nap on the bed first so you get some semblance of sleep.” You suggested, smirking to yourself as you locking yourself in the bathroom before he could protest.

‘I guess a small nap couldn’t hurt’ Diluc thought to himself ‘they are right, my back is going to hurt like the devil in the morning’ he decided he was going to take a nap, and settled on the bed, not bothering to pull the covers down.

You hadn’t realized how much time you’d spent in the shower until you reentered your shared room, only to see the dark star filled sky in place of the orange hues whom were there when you entered. Your eyes fell to the bed, seeing Diluc sleeping peacefully. You cringed as you saw him laying atop the covers. ‘How am I going to get under them? This was my plain, but I expected him to actually use the blankets…’ you didn’t like seeing him still fully dressed in his combat attire, which was Lilly uncomfortable for lounging, but… you also didn’t want to wake him up, because likely he would refuse the bed, and instead let you use it, which is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

You’d finally devised a plan, decided your best corse of action was to just sneak into the bed, and hope he doesn’t wake up. But first, you quietly exited the room, and asked Verr for an extra comforter, which she happily let you barrow.

You still were upset that Diluc would be sleeping in his uniform, but decided it was better than him sleeping on the floor, and carefully put the extra comforter over him, tossing your fingers he wasn’t that light of a sleeper.

You looked down at his face as you finished tucking him in, he looked peaceful, free of worries, so unlike his cognizant expressions. You justified that a little forehead kiss wouldn’t wake him, seeing at you’d already layered a blanket atop him without trouble.

You gently pressed your lips to his hair covered forehead, but froze as you heard his sharp intake of breath, you waited a moment, not realizing your lips were still on his skin, before pulling away, hoping to find his eyes closed. Only luck wasn’t in you hands, because his eyes were very much open, and his cheeks quite red. He looked at you as he sat up.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” He said, adverting his eyes away from you. “I hope you weren’t going to sleep on the floor.” He added with a scowl.

“I wasn’t” you responded, giggling a bit, “I was going to sleep on the other side, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable first.”

“Oh, you didn’t need to, you should have woken me up.” He whispered as his blush darkened. At this point you wanted to see how flustered you could make him.

“And let you sleep on the floor? Nonsense. You should get changed into something more comfortable, I truly don’t mind sharing the bed.” You smiled, resting you hand upon his shoulder, making him take a sharp breath.

“Are you sure? I really don’t-“ he tried

“Yes I’m positive, now go change.” You said sternly with a squeeze to the area you were holding, before letting go.

Diluc sighed as he stood up, following your directions and grabbed his night clothes. He was almost to the bathroom when your voice interrupted the silence.

“You can change in here, I’ll look away, I promise.” You truly wanted him to be comfortable, but didn’t realize until after, how suggestive it was. You didn’t even try to retract your words, just sat there flushed with your eyes wide.

He was taken aback but smirked at your flushed face. “You don’t have to look away.” He responded, pulling his shirt off. Your eyes widened further as you covered your eyes. E he himself was surprised with his boldness, but continued changing nevertheless.

You slowly open your eyes as you feel a dip in the bed. “Are you sure you want me to sleep in the bed?” He asks you once more, making you roll your eyes. “For the millionth time, yes I’m fine with it, just stay on your side.” He nodded at your response and turned away from you, scooting to the far side of the bed. You did the same, falling asleep peacefully.

Diluc was the first awake, which wasn’t surprising, however what he didn’t expect when open his eyes was the sight of you, inches from his face, sound asleep on his chest. He flushed red, and stood about as still as a tree on a clear day. His mind raced, not sure what to do. Should he stay still? Should he wake you up? Should he move you as gently as possible? Should he kiss you away? He had no clue what to do, but opted to just stay where he was, you needed your rest, and he was likely going to disturb that if he were to move. However he couldn’t just do nothing, so he reached to run his fingers through your hair, he loved the texture of it, and he loved the little scrunch your face made when he did it. Diluc let out a light airy laugh, ‘you are so cute’ he thought to himself ‘if only you truly liked me back’

You and Diluc had been friends for years, often doing missions together, and you even aided in his quests to protect Monstat. And that’s all Diluc thought you saw him as a friend.

You were gently pulled from you slumber as your pillow, which you didn’t remember being this soft, rumbled, wait- rumbled? You open your eyes only to see that you were not in fact laying on a pillow, but rather on Diluc’s chest, it was embarrassing, but so comfortable, he had the perfect body temperature, which is presumably why you were drawn to him in your sleep. You wanted to stay here for longer, so that’s what you did, you closed your eyes once more, hoping for a little more sleep.

“Why do you gave to be so… cute? And you’re just laying here, I shouldn’t love you as much as I do, but I just can’t bring myself to not,” Diluc muttered to himself with a sigh. This confession of sorts cause you to open you eyes in surprise, right as he looked down at you.

“I- thought you were asleep.” He quickly explained. “Please ignore what I just said.”

That is the exact opposite of what you did, instead you pulled yourself up to hover over him before leaning down and kissing him.

“I love you a little bit to much too.”

#rainbowwritings #gensin impact #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc x reader #genshin impact x reader

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jamaisjoons · 5 years

Text

love alive ⤑ jjk | m.

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 a year after you and jungkook break up, the two of you meet at your brother’s party. 〞post break up au. exes to lovers au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: jungkook x reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 17k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: mentions of alcohol, swearing, so much angst, pining? i guess, they’re both broken up but still love each other so there’s that lmao, reader emotionally cheats a fair amount, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, sub!reader, pussy eating, hair pulling, fingering, dirty talk, this was supposed to be soft sex but idk what happened, okay it’s kinda soft but also feral, tender feral sex, aka the seraphjoon vibe, unprotected sex, riding, creampie, multiple orgasms

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: YEEEHAW LOOK I DID SOMETHING !! i had sudden inspo for this fic and while it HURTS it doesn’t hurt too bad i dont think. anyway, i hope you enjoy it but its like 3am so i’m going to bed now hawyeet

⇥ part of the mixtape series

⏤ edited by my wonderful beta @shadowsremedy

One late Friday evening, Jungkook finds himself in his apartment. He’s currently sat on the sofa, simply staring off into space as he waits for his date to return. Jungkook doesn’t really remember much about her, they’d just been to dinner and try as he might, he just hadn’t been able to focus on the conversation. One reason being none other than it had been a completely stilted conversation - first dates were always awkward - but paired with the fact he barely knows her, and that he’d been on about seventeen different first dates in the last three months, he’d found himself unable to really keep the conversation going.

Of course, the second - and more major - reason, would be that she’s not you.

But Jungkook would rather not think about that right now.

“Do you have any wine?” Jungkook’s date calls out. Breaking out of his daze, Jungkook’s eyes come back into focus as he trains his attention back onto her. Eyebrows slightly furrowed, he scrambles for her name. Jiha? Jihyo? Jihye! That’s it. Jihye looks at him expectantly, waiting for his answer.

“Uh, maybe. I don’t know,” comes Jungkook’s distracted answer, “there may be some in the bottom cupboard on the left-hand side,” he continues nonchalantly - not really thinking about it. He thinks he remembers seeing an open bottle there, but again, he doesn’t drink wine all that often so he doesn’t really care. He watches Jihye rummage around in his kitchen, her short black dress riding further up the backs of her thighs - and Jungkook knows he should feel some sort of attraction towards her - she’s incredibly beautiful - not to mention her body’s practically perfect - and yet, he feels… nothing.

Why is he on a date with her again? Oh yes, because she frequented the same gym as he did and had asked him out randomly earlier in the week. Jungkook lets out a little sigh, his head falls back onto the back of the sofa. Staring up at the ceiling, his mind casts back to all the dates he’s had recently. Most of them approach him and he doesn’t really know why he keeps saying yes - but he has an inkling it’s to do with the fact that he’s still not over you. Though, that doesn’t really matter.

You’re long gone, and the last Jungkook had heard about you, was that you’d met someone else - someone willing to give you more than he could - someone willing to give you what you want. His heart constraints at the thought of you, but he shakes the thoughts out of his head. He needs to move on - it’s been long enough. Almost a year. Well, it’s been exactly seven months, twenty-three days and nine hours since you walked out on him, but who’s keeping count? Certainly not him.

“Oh! I found some. It’s already open - do you mind if I have some?” Jihye asks, and reflexively, Jungkook finds himself rolling his eyes. If he hadn’t wanted her to have some, he wouldn’t have told her where the wine was. Biting his tongue, however, Jungkook just lets out a non-committal hum. Once done pouring herself a glass of wine, Jihye returns to him while taking a sip of her wine. Suddenly, she stops, her face twisting in disgusting as she spits her wine back into her glass. Own features twisting in disgust, Jungkook regards her through guarded eyes, wondering what was going on.

“Gross! Why does this wine have pieces of cork in it? Also, I think it’s gone off - it tastes weird,” Jihye gripes as she takes her glass back into his kitchen. Barely paying attention to her words, Jungkook stares in unsettlement at the bottle. The dark green glass glints under the warm kitchen lights, his heart lurching as he recognises the bottle.

With unfocused eyes, he stares at the bottle, unmoving as his mind buzzes with what feels like static. Hazily, he registers that Jihye is speaking, but through the thick fog of his memories, Jungkook’s mind barely notices what she’s saying. Nonetheless, the exact moment Jihye begins tilting the bottle over the sink, attempting to flush its contents, Jungkook jumps to his feet.

“No! Don’t throw it out,” Jungkook’s voice thunders, his long legs carrying him into the kitchen swiftly. Jihye startles, looking at him in dumbfounded incredulity.

“What? Why? It’s got pieces of cork in it, and it tastes funny,” Jihye replies, turning back and beginning to pour the wine again. Abruptly, Jungkook snatches the bottle out of her hand, causing Jihye to jump.

“It’s not off, it just tastes like that. It’s bad wine,” Jungkook mutters as he puts the stopper back in the neck of the bottle.

“All the more reason to throw it out?” Jihye suggests, Jungkook’s jaw flexing at her words.

“I’m not throwing it out,” Jungkook replies, his voice hardened. Jihye cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Come on Jungkook, I think you should throw it out,” Jihye says coyly, a smile crawling onto her face. Imperceptibly, Jungkook’s eyes narrow. The flirtatiousness in her demeanour isn’t lost on him, nor is the fact that she likely thinks he’s joking. But Jungkook isn’t joking. He’s not throwing the wine out - whether it has pieces of cork in it, whether it tastes bad, or even if it had been off, he’s not throwing it out.

“No,” Jungkook says, his voice full of resolve. Jihye startles as she realises he’s not being playful. She raises her eyebrow once again, cocking her hip to the side.

“What’s so special about it? It’s just a bottle of wine,” Jihye points out. Of course, to anyone, it would be just a bottle of wine - but to him, it’s so much more.

It’s the last thing he has left of you.

When you’d broken up with him, ending your five-year relationship, you’d moved everything out of his apartment. The stupid cushions Jungkook hated - really, they only took up more space on the sofa, meaning he couldn’t lounge about properly - your hundred and one towels, even the sheets: the ones that had smelled like you. They’re all gone, along with all your clothes and belongings, leaving a half-empty apartment, and a hole in Jungkook’s heart. Every and any trace of you had slowly been removed from his flat and consequently his life. And now, he’s left with just this bottle of wine. - the one you’d forgotten about because it’d been hidden at the back of the cupboard.

“Jungkook? Are you listening to me? What’s so great about this bottle?” Jihye asks. Once again, however, Jungkook’s mind wanders to you. Unable to pull away from the bottle, Jihye fades from the world, her voice becoming distant and hazy as he recedes back into his memories.

Flashback - three years ago

A knock resounding at Jungkook’s door, he takes a deep breath. Looking at himself in the mirror one last time, he brushes the non-existent lint off his blazer. Then, running his fingers through his hair, he nods at himself and leaves his bedroom. Approaching the door, he swings it open, a large smile painted on his face as he spots you.

“Hello, beautiful,” Jungkook greets the moment he spots you. However, the moment he actually sees you, he finds himself stopping. Dressed in a flowing sundress, a dazzling smile on your face and bright, twinkling eyes - you look positively radiant. A loud whoosh of air escapes his nose, his eyes softening at you, “you look gorgeous,” he breathlessly says, his voice low.

Your smile brightening, you grin up at him, “Happy third anniversary!” you call out cheerily. Jungkook bites his lip, and unable to stop himself, swoops down and presses a kiss to your lips.

“Happy anniversary,” he mutters back, his lips brushing yours with every movement. Pulling your lower lip between your teeth, you chew on it while giving him a smile. Even three years into your relationship, Jungkook still managed to set butterflies aflutter in the pits of your stomach with the slightest touch.

Swiftly, you step into his apartment, easily navigating your way towards his kitchen as you place the bags of food and wine onto his counter. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out?” you ask curiously, peering at your boyfriend through the corner of your eyes.

However, Jungkook only steps up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Nope!” he happily replies, popping the ‘p’ sound, “you said you’d rather just have a quiet night in. Besides, we went out for the cruise-ship dinner thing last year,” Jungkook continues, humming in thought at the memory. A smile curls on your own lips and you twist in his arms, winding your own around his waist as you place your head on his chest.

“Mmm, that was a good anniversary. But if I remember correctly, someone ended up being seasick from drinking too much,” you say pointedly, tilting your head to look up at him, your chin resting on his sternum. Despite his cheeks flushing a rosy shade, Jungkook scowls.

“It’s not my fault… the alcohol was stronger than I thought it was,” he mumbles under his breath. You shake your head in fondness, but then, your lips curl into a slight frown. Every anniversary, Jungkook had taken you somewhere - your first, he’d taken you on a ski trip, your second, he’d taken you on a weekend break to Jeju island, and of course, your third had been a cruise-ship dinner. This year, however, you’d been recently promoted to the department head of your company, but that had meant additional stress and weight to an already heavy workload. As a result, you’d asked Jungkook if he was okay with just a quiet night in - because there was nothing you wanted more than to just spend some time with your loving boyfriend.

“Are you sure this is okay? If you want to go out or something, we still can,” you ask. However, Jungkook only shakes his head once again while pulling you closer into him.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. Honestly. I just want to spend some time with you. Whether that’s here in my apartment, or in yours, or on an expensive date, or even in a garbage dump, it doesn’t matter. I just want to be with you,” Jungkook grins before smacking a sloppy kiss on your forehead. Face twisting in disgust, your earlier doubt about Jungkook being happy with your choice of date fades away, and you playfully smack him before pushing him away.

“Ew gross! You just slobbered all over me,” you gripe, rubbing the wet spot on your forehead.

Waggling his eyebrows, “and there’s more where that came from,” Jungkook playfully teases. A light snort escapes your lips as you shake your head before turning around.

“Yeah, whatever. I bought wine and steak for dinner. It’s not much but I don’t know, I felt like being classy,” you casually shrug while turning to the bag of groceries Jungkook hadn’t noticed. Head cocked to the side, he grimaces at the bottle of wine. Suddenly, you stop, your lips curling in a frown, “Although… in hindsight, I should have bought more food - knowing your bottomless stomach,” you sigh, looking at him from the corner of your eye.

“Yeah, you probably should have,” Jungkook deadpans. Lips twisting into a pout, your shoulders deflate at his words. Jungkook sees your disappointment, his heart dropping in his chest at the thought of upsetting you. He’d meant it as a joke - really, he had - but you’d clearly taken it seriously. Stepping up to you, Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist once again, his chin resting on your shoulder and hands clasps around your belly.

“I was only joking, sweetheart,” Jungkook says lowly, his face nuzzling into your hair while he presses a kiss to the outer shell of your ear. “Wine and steak sound good. Very classy,” he continues, pressing another kiss to your flesh - this time the column of your throat.

Instantly, your lips curl into a victorious smirk, “Okay, great!” you say, your shoulders immediately perking up. Jungkook blinks at your sudden change in demeanour, his nose scrunching when he realises what’s just happened.

“Hey! Did you do that on purpose?” he asks, his eyes narrowing into slits, his gaze full of accusation. Face twisting into a picture of innocence, you smile at him coyly - and if he didn’t know you as well as he did, he’d buy it - but Jungkook sees the sparkle of mischief in your eyes.

Before he can open his mouth, however, you’re already cutting him off, “Where’s your corkscrew?” you ask, rummaging through his drawers. Jungkook watches you search through the utensils, your lips curling downwards in concentration.

His own lips twisting, Jungkook approaches you, helping you look for the corkscrew. However, after a few moments, “Oh. I don’t think I have one,” Jungkook finally says. Eyebrows furrowing slightly, Jungkook wonders if he ever even bought one, but he doesn’t think he has.

“Kook! How are we supposed to drink this now?” you whine, a pout forming on your face again. Shrugging, Jungkook whips out his phone.

“I’m sure we can like, find another way,” Jungkook replies, already googling a way to open the wine bottle. Curiously, you peer over his shoulder, Jungkook’s arm instinctively wrapping around you as he scrolls with one hand. Head tilting upwards, you smile at your boyfriend, his features slightly scrunched in concentration. Unable to help yourself, you lean up and press a kiss to the bottom of his jaw. The moment your lips brush his skin, the corners of Jungkook’s lips twitch before he twists his head and presses a kiss to the temple of your head.

Arms wrapping around his waist, you lean your head on his bicep, “find anything yet?” you ask, Jungkook humming in response.

“We could use a blowtorch,” he replies casually.

“Do you have a blowtorch?”

“Fair enough. We could smack it against the wall using something to cushion it.”

“And risk breaking the bottle? No thanks.” Like that, Jungkook continues reading out suggestions: from pumping it out using a bicycle tire pump, all the way to slapping it out with a shoe, only for you to refute them. Eventually, however, with no other option, you and Jungkook eventually try using a screwdriver. Which brings you to now, almost fifteen minutes later.

“Oh my god, I think I’ve got it,” Jungkook yells in triumph. You’re currently sat on the kitchen island, your legs dangling as you watch your boyfriend struggle with the bottle. About five minutes after attempting to open the bottle, you’d conceded defeat. Your boyfriend, however, is much more competitive than you are, and he’d downright refused to let the bottle win. Thus, for the last ten minutes, you’d watched your boyfriend futilely dig, and twist, the screwdriver into the cork.

Quirking your eyebrow at your boyfriend, your eyes rove over him. He’s currently stood with a victorious grin, the apples of his cheeks bunched up around his eyes. He’s holding out the wine bottle, the metal head of the screwdriver stuck into the neck of the bottle. Hell, the cork isn’t even in one piece anymore - bits and pieces of it littered on the floor around him from where Jungkook had dug it out in an attempt to bury the screwdriver into the wood stopper.

“Have you now?” you drawl sarcastically. It certainly doesn’t look like he’s got it. For one, the cork is still in the bottle.

Sneering at your snide tone, “Watch this!” Jungkook calls out, and then, grabbing the handle of the tool, he pulls as hard as he can. A loud pop resounds through the air and you startle slightly, watching as Jungkook holds the screwdriver - with half the cork attached to it - in the air.

“Oh my god! You did it!” you call in surprise, jumping off the table and walking towards him.

Puffing out his chest, “and you didn’t believe in me! But I did it anyway,” Jungkook says proudly.

You roll your eyes before gesturing to the half-broken cork, “yeah barely.”

“Tomato, tomato. Potato, potato. The point is, I did it, and we can have wine now” Jungkook replies. With another roll of your eyes, you cross his kitchen and pull two wine glasses out of his cupboard.

“Yeah, yeah. My knight in shining suit. Now come on! I’ve literally been waiting twenty-five minutes to drink this,” you say, holding out the glasses towards him. Nodding, Jungkook pours the wine, filling the tumblers halfway before placing the bottle back on the island.

He takes the glasses from your hand, placing them on the dining table and you follow him, placing the plates of food onto the table. The two of you take seats opposite each other, Jungkook raising his glass towards you in a salute. For a few moments, the two of you tuck into your food, the muffled sounds of your joint chewing filling the air.

Then, “this steak is cold,” you grumble, a grimace settling on your face. In hindsight, after spending all that time trying to open the wine, the two of you should have heated your food - but in the triumph of actually opening the wine, you’d both forgotten.

“Yeah, and this wine is fucking gross,” Jungkook gripes, his own features twisting in disgust. Blinking owlishly, you reach for your own glass, sipping the burgundy liquid. The minute it washes over your tastebuds, you find yourself gagging. It’s sour - the acrid stench of it only burning your nasal cavity and intensifying the bitterness of the wine.

Forcibly, you swallow it down before spitting and sputtering into your hand, “yeah, and it’s got pieces of cork in it. Gross, what a waste of a hundred and fifty thousand won,” you scowl. Immediately, Jungkook baulks.

“A hundred and fifty thousand won? For that trash?” Jungkook yells in incredulity. You look at him in surprise, the two of you simply staring at each other. Then, all of a sudden, the two of you burst out laughing. Neither of you has any real reason for why you’re both laughing. Perhaps it was the ridiculous price of the incredibly poortasting wine, perhaps it was that Jungkook had spent a good fifteen minutes struggling with said wine or perhaps it was because even after all that struggle, neither of you could stomach the taste. Either way, the absurdity of the situation isn’t lost on either of you, and you both can’t help but laugh hysterically.

“Man, I can’t believe you spent that much money on that shit,” Jungkook giggles, wiping away at his tears.

Lower lip pulled between your teeth, you grin at Jungkook, “I can’t believe you spent so much time trying to open it,” you quip. Shaking your heads, you both resume eating your food, forgoing the wine.

Once the two of you are done, you help Jungkook clear the table. Jungkook watches you throw out the leftovers before placing the plates into the sink. The kitchen lights are dimmed low, the amber light reflecting off of your skin and silhouetting you in its glow. The bright walls off his kitchen only help to highlight your body, the hem of your dress swishing around your thighs with every movement. His darkened, lust-filled gaze rakes over you and he can’t help but swallow thickly when his eyes rest on the smooth curve of your ass.

Helpless against his desire for you, you feel Jungkook’s arms wrap around your body. Loosely, his hands rest on your hips, the pads of his fingertips gently digging into your flesh. “Do you wanna head to bed?” Jungkook asks, his voice breathy as he begins peppering kisses along the column of your neck. You raise your eyebrow at his sudden change in demeanour. Nevertheless, you’d be lying if you said his light, attentive touch wasn’t clouding your head in hazy lust.

“All of a sudden?” you ask, your tone light and teasing. Jungkook responds by digging his fingers harder into your hips, pulling them back so your ass is flush against his crotch.

“If I’m being honest, I’ve wanted to get you out of this dress as soon as I saw you in it. You look beautiful. I love you so much,” Jungkook rasps in response, lightly nipping at the sensitive flesh just below your earlobe. Twisting in his hold, you wind your hands around his neck, carding your fingers through his hair at the back of his nape before lightly playing with the locks.

“I love you too,” you breathe out, “take me to bed and I’ll show you how much,” you breathlessly whisper back. A shuddering exhale escaping his lips, Jungkook’s mouth descends onto yours. Instantly, the two of you lose yourselves into each other; the wine bottle long forgotten.

“Jungkook? Are you even paying attention to me?” Jihye suddenly calls out, her hands waving in front of his face. Blinking blankly, Jungkook’s vision comes back into focus. He looks around his apartment - it’s still the same as it was two years ago. The kitchen lights are still low, and his walls are bright, and that same bottle of wine sits on his marble counter - practically mocking him - but you’re not here. It’s not you standing in his kitchen.

“I- you need to leave,” Jungkook chokes out, his voice hoarse and his throat thick with emotion. Jihye looks at him in dumbfounded bewilderment. She opens her mouth to argue, but then stops, her words dying on her lips. Taking in Jungkook’s distant gaze, Jihye notices his attention is once again on the bottle. With a scoff, she rolls her eyes before snorting. Then, grabbing her purse, she stalks out of his apartment - but not before slamming the door.

Jungkook doesn’t care.

Instead, he stares at the dark bottle of wine. His reflection glints back at him, his distorted face mirroring the despair and sadness etched onto his face. Once again, he loses himself into his memories. Memories of when the two of you were still together, memories of you smiling at him, of you kissing him, memories of the two of you, when you were both happy - and together. But not anymore. Now, those memories that he’d once cherished - once taken for granted - are tainted: bruised and tarnished with the restless memories of you leaving; of you walking out of this very same apartment and leaving him all alone.

The warm memories that had once been his saving grace, now leave him cold, with a deep ache in his chest.

With one final glance at the bottle, Jungkook buries his head in his hands, and then lets out a heartwrenching sob.

In the comfort of your own home, you lie in your bed, staring up into nothingness. The bedroom is completely bathed in darkness, not even a single sliver of moonlight peeking in through the blackout-blinds you had installed. After your third anniversary with Jungkook, you’d moved in with him, and your ex-boyfriend had hated any and every inkling of light while he was trying to sleep. He simply couldn’t sleep unless he was in complete darkness. Of course, after two years of living with him, you’d also gotten used to it - and now, you aren’t able to sleep without complete darkness either.

Yet, you still aren’t able to sleep. There are many reasons for your lack of sleep. Many of them are to do with your ex-boyfriend. It’s been just over half a year since you and Jungkook broke up. Almost eight months now since you walked out of his life. Eight months since you reluctantly broke off your five-year relationships. But you had no choice. You and Jungkook had wanted different things in life and though heartbreaking, you knew it was best for the two of you to go your separate ways then and there.

Of course, knowing that didn’t make it any easier. Nor does it help qualm the crushing bitterness, nor the misery, you feel at Jungkook’s absence in your life.

Though, you figure, those feelings are a given. After all, the two of you had been together for five whole years. Five years is a long time to spend with someone - and for the entirety of those years, Jungkook had been your one and only - the man you had loved with your entire heart. The man you still love with all your heart. It’s not like you could just forget five years of love in a day - nor in eight months. Hell, you don’t think you could forget him, nor the love you feel for him, in your entire lifetime.

Thus, in the absolute dark of your bedroom, you stare up at the ceiling. Though, you don’t really see it. No, all you see is darkness. A low sigh escapes your lips and you shift on your bed, trying to find a comfortable position. But try as you might, you simply can’t find one. And it has every reason to do with the man occupying your bed - if you remove your residual feelings for Jungkook out of the picture. Tilting your head slightly, you turn to your side. Even in the darkness, you can make out the obscure outline of your current boyfriend’s - though you use that term loosely, because really, he’s a family friend you’ve known a while and your mother had set you up with - face as he snores lightly. With another sigh, you turn your head back to stare at the ceiling.

Other than thoughts of Jungkook, one of the main reasons you can’t sleep is: you’re on the wrong side of the bed. For as long as you’d been with Jungkook, even before you lived together, Jungkook had always slept on the left, and you’d slept on the right. It wasn’t like you’d purposely decided on that, it’s just how it had worked out. Jungkook always slept on the left, and you on the right - before the two of you had even met. And after you’d met? Well, it had just clicked - as if the two of you were made for each other.

But now, you’re on the left.

And Minhyuk is on the right.

And it’s not right. Nor does it feel right. In more than one sense of the word.

Shifting once again, you lowly groan when a sting of pain shoots through your lower abdomen, bringing you to another reason you can’t sleep. You’re on your period, and with your period, comes the cursed cramps. No matter how much you try, you simply can’t seem to find a comfortable position to lie in. That, paired with the fact that you’re on the wrong side of the bed, and the plaguing thoughts of Jungkook, has insomnia gripping at your head. Momentarily, you’d considered getting up and heating up a hot water bottle to soothe your pain, but you simply can’t find it in yourself to get out of bed - not when moving only seemed to fuel the fire in the pits of your uterus.

Once again, you turn to Minhyuk. Briefly, you consider waking him up and asking him to bring you the hot water bottle, and you even open your mouth to call him. But then, you pause, the words dying on your lips as your throat constricts. This scene is almost too familiar to you, and in the dark of your bedroom, you can’t stop your mind from wandering to the past.

Flashback - two years ago

Shifting uncomfortably, you’re woken from your sleep by the searing pain in your lower abdomen. Through the haze of your sleep, you let out quiet whimpers and continue shuffling in bed, trying to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep in. However, try as you might, you simply can’t seem to find one. This time, when you shift again, you feel Jungkook’s arm lazily wrap around you.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jungkook asks while shuffling closer towards him. His words cause you to still, your shoulders relaxing as you feel his warm presence surround you. Your boyfriend moves his head to just over your shoulder, his hand sluggishly rubbing circles over your stomach. He nudges your t-shirt to the side - really, it’s his - and presses a tender kiss to the skin of your shoulder that he’s just exposed. Before you can even say anything, or alert him to exactly what is wrong, “do you have bad cramps again?” he sighs out. Despite your pain, you find your face softening, a soft smile curling on your lips at the sleepy tone of his voice.

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t wanna wake you up,” you reply lowly. Jungkook only shakes his head, his long hair tickling the flesh of your collarbone.

“Tis okay,” Jungkook slurs sleepily. Then, before you can tell him to go back to sleep, Jungkook is already crawling out of bed. You hear a loud thud, followed by a pained groan, “I’m okay. I just- didn’t see the end of the bed,” Jungkook mumbles through the haziness of his sleep. Instantly, his words cause concern to well up in your chest, however, before you can ask him if he’s okay, he’s leaving your bedroom.

Left alone, you flick the lamp on your bedside table on and sit up in bed with a wince. You take in short, deep breath, trying your best to soothe the vengeful cramps in the pit of your stomach. If you didn’t know better, you’d almost think your uterus was tying itself into knots. Another sharp sting and you let out a low whimper, doubling over in pain as you clutch your stomach.

Moments later, you feel a hand soothingly rub your lower back as your boyfriend - now more awake - crouches down beside your side of the bed. Large, doe eyes stare at you in concern as he passes you your hot water bottle. “Here you go, baby,” Jungkook says softly, placing the fuzzy bottle on your lower stomach. The warm heat instantly soothes your cramps, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you feel the pain begin to subside.

“Thank you,” you rasp out, but Jungkook only shakes his head. Then, he thrusts his hand and a glass in front of your face.

When you quirk your eyebrow at him, “painkillers,” Jungkook merely responds. Your face crumples, your heart speeding up in your chest. Gratefully, you accept the pills from him, popping them in your mouth before chugging down the glass of water. When you’re done, Jungkook takes the glass from your hand and places it back onto your bedside table. Once done, he helps you shift back down into a laying position as he tucks you into bed. Then, he crawls under the sheets himself.

You feel the left side of the bed shift before Jungkook slides in. Rolling closer to you, he presses his chest against your back while throwing an arm to rest loosely over your waist. Lazily, he rubs his hand over your hips, soothingly massaging the skin while pressing tender kisses to the back of your shoulder. “Are you feeling better?” Jungkook mumbles. His voice is low, heavy with sleep, and you can’t help but shudder as it reverberates through your eardrum.

“Mmm. Much better. Thank you,” you whisper back, more than grateful at his thoughtful gestures. If there was one thing you absolutely adored about Jungkook, it would be his utter thoughtfulness. More often than not, you just wouldn’t need to tell him what was wrong; after almost four years together, he could simply read you like a book. He knew what you wanted and when you wanted it. He knew when to leave you alone, or when to help you. He could read your moods as if he was well versed in all things that surrounded you. More than anything, however, Jungkook was simply empathetic towards you - and it made you fall for him all the more.

“I love you,” you whisper, the words easily falling from your lips. You feel Jungkook’s lips curl against your shoulder, an indolent smile playing at his lips.

Without even a moment of hesitation, “I love you too,” he mumbles back. Then, the two of you fall back into silence: with you clutching the hot water bottle to your uterus, and Jungkook genially rubbing circles into the flesh of your hips.

Another sharp pain ricochets through your uterus, pulling you out of your reverie. A low whimper escapes your throat and you shift in bed again. However, unlike Jungkook, Minhyuk stays fast asleep. Once again, you contemplate waking him up and you don’t want to, but the pain is almost too much. Before you can stop yourself, “Minhyuk?” you whimper out while gently shaking him.

Minhyuk lets out a groggy groan before, “what’s wrong, ____?” he asks, his voice heavily laden with sleep.

“C-can you go into the kitchen and get me my hot water bottle, please? I’ve got really bad cramps,” you whisper hoarsely. Minhyuk only groans in response.

“____… I’ve got to wake up for work in three hours. Can you not get it yourself?” Minhyuk asks sleepily. There’s no malice in his tone, nor upset or anger, just drowsy question - and you know he doesn’t mean anything by it - but still, you can’t help the way your stomach drops at his words. Biting your lip, you suck in a sharp breath, the movement making you whimper in pain again. Clearly, Minhyuk hears the sound escape your lips, because he’s sliding out of bed - albeit begrudgingly - and leaving your bedroom.

Five minutes later, he walks back and passes you the hot water bottle. With a small voice, you thank him, Minhyuk grunting in response. The right side of the mattress tilts and you feel Minhyuk slide back into bed. “Goodnight,” Minhyuk mumbles, though you can tell he’s already falling asleep again. Briefly, he pecks your cheek before turning his back towards you. Short moments later, his light snores fill the quiet air of the night, leaving you alone once again.

Chewing your lip, you place the hot water bottle onto your stomach, allowing the warm, soothing sensation to assuage the pain of your cramps. Your mind casts back to Jungkook, and the way he took care of you on nights like this, and then you turn to Minhyuk once again. You can still feel his lips on your cheek - from where he’d kissed you - but it’s not the same. Minhyuk is nice, and though reluctantly, he still got out of bed to get you your water bottle.

But it’s not the same.

It’s not the same when he kisses you on the cheek, or brings you your water bottle. It’s not the same when he buys you flowers, or takes you out to dinner. It’s not the same when he kisses you, or when you sleep together. It’s not the same, because while nice, all of his gestures are empty. There’s no love in them, no thoughtfulness, no passion. Minhyuk is nice - and he does things out of nicety - but he also does them out of obligation.

And it’s not the same.

Because there is no love in them.

Because he’s not Jungkook.

Because he won’t ever be.

A month and a half later, you find yourself nervously staring at the brass-gold number plates of your brother’s apartment. You haven’t seen Hoseok in a few months - well, nine months to be exact. Nine months on this day. Wow. It’s really been nine months since you broke up with Jungkook, huh? It definitely feels like it’s been longer. If anything, it feels like an eternity. Though, you suppose, it must, since you’d gone from spending almost every day with him to suddenly not seeing him. It had been hard, and multiple times, you’ve wondered if you should just go back - but you know you can’t. You’d broken up for reasons - serious reasons - reasons that had meant a lot to you.

All these months, you’ve tried avoiding him as best as you could. Anything and everything that was within your power, you had done: from avoiding all of your friends because they reminded you too much of him, to moving to a different part of the city just to avoid running into him by chance. It had been hard, and god had it hurt - stillhurts - but you knew you had to do it. But now, standing in front of your brother’s apartment, you know you can no longer run from him anymore. Today is Hoseok’s birthday - and you know he’d be heartbroken if you didn’t turn up.

But you also know Jungkook will be here - because there’s no way Hoseok hadn’t invited him.

Funnily enough, you’d met Jungkook because of Hoseok. The two of them had met at the swimming club in your university, and the two had gotten along well. At first, you’d been fearful of admitting to Hoseok that you were seeing Jungkook - but to your utter surprise, your older brother just hadn’t cared. He liked Jungkook and he trusted Jungkook to treat you right - and he had. For five years, Jungkook had been the best, sweetest, most perfect boyfriend anyone could have asked for. Until that day. That fateful day, nine months ago, when you’d walked out of his apartment - and consequently his life.

“____? You okay?” Minhyuk asks, waving his hand in front of your space. Pulled out of your thoughts, you stare at your boyfriend - though once again, you use the term loosely. Minhyuk stares at you in confusion before gesturing to the door. The very same door you’d been blankly staring at while reminiscing about your brother and boyfriend. Looking at Minhyuk, you can’t help the way your stomach tosses at the sight of him.

Momentarily, you wonder what Hoseok would say. Hoseok absolutely adored Jungkook - to the point where you’d find your brother cuddling with your boyfriend, or kissing his forehead. You shudder just thinking about it. That had been a funny day. One day, you’d decided to surprise your boyfriend by spontaneously turning up at his apartment. However, to your utter surprise, you’d turned up just to see your boyfriend and your brother snuggling while watching Netflix. Sure, it was a cute sight, and ordinarily, you would have been touched. If it weren’t for the fact that your brother was cuddling your boyfriend.

So yes, suffice to say the least, Hoseok absolutely loved Jungkook - and throughout your entire relationship, he’d completely rooted and supported the two of you. Even when you and Jungkook would fight, even when you’d drive each other crazy, Hoseok would speak to the both of you and calm you down and make you see reason. Reason being that you both loved each other. Which is why, dread settles in your stomach as you stare blankly at Minhyuk. Once again, you wonder what Hoseok would say. You know he knows that you’re seeing Minhyuk - your mother has to have told him.

But knowing and seeing are two different things and you have no idea how he’ll react to Minhyuk. You love your brother, you really, really do - but Hoseok has a bad habit of not being able to bite his tongue - and that paired with the fact that he absolutely loved Jungkook - and still does - has trepidation settling deep within your stomach. It doesn’t help that it’s so soon after you and Jungkook broke up either. Nor does it help that Hoseok already knows Minhyuk - he is the son of your mother’s friend after all. But you’re twenty-seven now and you’re not getting any younger and you have to move on with your life. Whether that be with Jungkook or not. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely distraught that it turned out to be without your sweet boyfriend. Or well, ex-boyfriend, you remind yourself.

Once again, Minhyuk looks at you expectantly. Drawing in every ounce of courage you can muster, you take in a deep breath and then knock on your brother’s door. You don’t know how long it takes Hoseok to answer. Realistically, you know it’s only mere moments - but that doesn’t stop it feeling like an excruciating eternity.

The moment Hoseok’s door swings open, you’re met with the sight of your brother. Smiling shyly at him, you awkwardly wave, “Hey Hobi,” you greet. However, Hoseok isn’t looking at you. No, he’s looking at the taller man stood next to you. Shuffling from foot to foot, your gaze flits back and forth from your brother to Minhyuk. Minhyuk for the most of it, looks a little lost and unsure of himself or what to say. Oppositely, your brother simply stares at Minhyuk, looking him up and down, his face a picture of passiveness and his usually warm gaze completely guarded.

“H-Hobi?” you choke out, clearing your throat as you try to get your brother’s attention. Hoseok blinks for a minute and then turns to you.

Momentarily, he regards you with his passive gaze before his lips quirk, and then suddenly, he’s beaming and pulling you into a hug. “____! I’ve missed you!” you brother practically screams, and despite the slight wince as he almost bursts your eardrums, you find yourself letting out a breath of air you hadn’t even known you’d been holding. The minute your brother envelops you in his arms, you feel yourself getting choked up - you’d missed his warmth. You’d desperately craved his affection when you’d broken up with Jungkook, but you had no idea what to say to him - or even how to approach him.

“Come on in. It’s a pretty quiet thing. There’s booze and snacks in the kitchen just help yourself to it, music’s mainly in the living room if you just wanna chill but if you need somewhere more quiet, the balcony or spare bedroom are available. ____ will tell you where to hang up your coats,” Hoseok says, smiling at Minhyuk. You bite your lip at Hoseok’s tone - it may not be obvious to others, but you know your brother like the back of your hand, and you can see the stiffness in his smile, and the chilled politeness in his tone. “Let’s catch up later on, yeah?” Hoseok says, turning back to you. Stiffly, you nod at him, already knowing he wants to talk about Jungkook.

Both you and Minhyuk enter Hoseok’s apartment and you can’t help the dismay that streaks through you. Hoseok wasn’t kidding when he said it’s a pretty quiet affair. About twenty people are milling about, the low thrumming bass of Hoseok’s music vibrating through the air. It’s loud enough to be heard throughout the apartment; not enough to cause the neighbours to complain, but more than enough to not really be able to have a decent conversation with someone.

Scattered about the crowd are a few people you recognise - Namjoon: Hoseok’s best friend from high school, and of course, Seokjin and Yoongi - his other best friends from college. Momentarily, you spot Jimin and you find yourself reeling at the familiar face. He’d been Hoseok’s friend from dance school when your brother was still in middle school. Your eyes continue scanning over the crowd before you find yourself stopping.

A rush of heat courses through your veins, the rushing of blood resounding through your eardrums when you spot Kim Taehyung - Hoseok and Jungkook’s other friend from swim team. But it’s not Taehyung that has you stopping. No, it’s who he’s speaking to.

Jungkook.

Knees buckling at the mere sight of him, your face crumples with the weight of your emotions. It’s only been nine months, and yet he looks so different from the last day you’d seen him. His hair is much longer now - so long that it falls into his eyes and you watch how he flicks the soft strands of hair out of his face. The motion of his hair practically mesmerises you and you can’t find it in yourself to look away from him. With his smooth caramel skin, soft features and gently sloping lips, he has your heart constricting between your ribcage.

Then you spot it. The black leather jacket. The same one you’d gotten him as a birthday gift four years ago. It’s still preserved beautifully, not a single piece out of place. The leather still shines like it’s brand new, and it still sits on his body as well as it did the first time you gifted it to him. Taehyung says something and Jungkook laughs in response, and the moment that he does, you let out an inaudible gasp. His head falls back, his features twisting into an expression of pure joy while his bunny-esque teeth are put on display. He looks happy - carefree - and you can’t help the sting of nostalgia that spikes through you. The music is loud, and you can barely hear anything. But somehow, his laugh resounds in your ear: ingrained in the memory of your eardrums as it plays like a record, over and over, while you watch him.

“You wanna get a drink?” Minhyuk asks. Instantly, your world comes crashing around you, and you turn to your current paramour. Blinking owlishly, you stare at him in confusion. He’s awfully close to you - a mere hair’s breadth away from you and instinctively, you find yourself backing away. Minhyuk looks at you oddly, and with a sheepish look, you nod to him. You’d gladly accept something to drink - you know you’ll need it if you wanted to survive the night.

An hour later, you find yourself standing over the Seoul city skyline. Leant up against the glass railing of Hoseok’s balcony, you simply stare at the sunset painted across Seoul. The large skyscraper buildings obscure most of it, the artificial bright lights dimming the dusky colours of twilight - but you don’t mind so much. Even obscured by the towering modern glass buildings, the dark shades of amaranth, copper and violet vividly paint the sky enough for you to take it all in.

“You okay out here?” comes a soft voice but you don’t need to turn around to see who it is. You could recognise your brother’s voice in a heartbeat.

Humming non-committally, “fine. I just... needed some space, I guess,” you mumble out with a sigh. If you’re being completely honest, you wanted space from Minhyuk. The minute he noticed your gaze on Jungkook, something in him changed - he’d become a tad overbearing, not to mention that he hasn’t left you alone all night. His sudden attachment wouldn’t have been a problem - if it weren’t the fact that you’d been maudlin about seeing Jungkook again. Thus, while he was busy entertaining a small crowd of Hoseok’s friends, you’d slipped out from under his nose and isolated yourself onto the balcony.

A loud chorus of laughs rolls across the quiet balcony and you let out another sigh. Hoseok leans against the railing next to you as he faces his apartment. “Minhyuk seems to be doing well,” comes Hoseok’s casual voice.

Another sigh, “please don’t,” you whisper. You already know where Hoseok’s going with this. Turning his back to his apartment, Hoseok joins you in basking under the quickly setting sun.

“What happened? You never told me, and Jungkook… well, Jungkook refuses to talk about it. To talk about you,” Hoseok sighs. Through your peripheral vision, you note the almost defeated look in Hoseok’s eyes. Heart clenching at his words, you grip your beer can tighter while staring dully into the distance. You don’t blame Jungkook for not talking about you - you haven’t spoken about him either. Sure, you think about him. Every. Single. Day. But thinking about him and speaking about him are two different things - the latter of which is far too painful.

When you don’t respond to his question, Hoseok simply sighs. “Okay fine, we don’t have to talk about that. But-” he begins.

Before he can continue, however, you turn and look at him, “Hobi, can we just not speak about this?” you ask quietly. Your brother looks at you pointedly, his eyes scrutinising you. With your slumped shoulders and the desperation in your eyes, Hoseok finds his eyes softening. Instantly, he wraps his arms around you, pressing your head to his chest. Automatically, you own arms wrap around him and you bask in your brother’s comforting embrace.

“You still love him,” Hoseok breathes out. There’s not a single hint of accusation in his tone, just plain understanding. More than that, it’s not a question; it’s a statement. One that has your fists curling tighter into his shirt, your shoulders tensing. You wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t say anything else. Rather, he just holds you, letting you seek as much solace as you need from his hold. Frozen in his hug, you breathe deeply as you try to hold yourself together.

Eventually, you find the strength to pull away. Hoseok looks at you with gentle eyes. “Are you happy, at least? With Minhyuk?” Hoseok asks. Opening your mouth, you move to reply, but find yourself stopping. Eyebrows furrowed, your face contorts marginally as you consider Hoseok’s question. Are you happy? Honestly? You have no idea. You haven’t felt any real happiness since you walked out on Jungkook - but you’d chalked it up to the fact that you were still getting over him.

Hesitancy evident in every fibre of your being, Hoseok looks at you pointedly. “Alright. You don’t have to reply because I already know the answer to that,” Hoseok sighs. He pauses for a moment, and you can see the uncertainty in his eyes. Yet, he continues anyway, “I know mom pushed you towards Minhyuk,” Hoseok begins, causing your eyes to widen. You open your mouth to reply, however, he cuts you off once again, “But I trust you to do the right thing. Not for anyone, but for yourself. You’re strong, ____, but you’re also smart. Smart enough to know what you want,” Hoseok finishes. Before you can reply to him, however, you hear the balcony doors sliding open.

The two of you turn around to the newcomer, your heart fluttering when you see Jungkook. “Oh. Sorry, I’ll leave,” Jungkook quickly says, already turning around. Abruptly, however, Hoseok walks up to Jungkook before clapping him on the back.

“Nah it’s okay. I was just heading inside. You can keep ____ company if you want,” Hoseok says brightly. Internally, you despair at your brother’s words. What the fuck was he thinking? Nonetheless, before either of you can say anything, Hoseok disappears back into his apartment, consequently leaving you and Jungkook alone.

Jungkook turns to you nervously, and you can practically feel the hesitancy exuding off of him in thick waves. Pulling your lower lip between your teeth, you send him an awkward smile before gesturing for him to join you. Jungkook looks at you in a mix of worry and trepidation, but ultimately, takes Hoseok’s space beside you. The two of you stand in silence, facing the Seoul city skyline as you stare at nothing. Frazzled by his presence, you internally grasp for something to say, anything to break the thick awkward tension that surrounds the two of you.

Then, all of a sudden: “How have you been?”, “So, what’s up?”, you and Jungkook ask at the same time. You stare at each other in surprise for a couple of moments. Then, all of a sudden, you both burst out laughing.

“God, this is so weird,” Jungkook says, running a hand through his hair. Biting your lip, you nod in agreement before turning back to look at the cityscape.

With the tension broken, “so, how have you been?” you find yourself asking. From the corner of your eye, you notice Jungkook shrug listlessly.

“I’ve been… okay, I guess. How about you?”

“Fine. Alright. I guess,” you reply, mirroring his previous sentiment. They’re simple niceties - and you both know there’s a hint of deception in both your words - but neither of you says anything about it. Once again, the two of you fall into silence. Though, this time, the atmosphere isn’t thick with floundering awkwardness. Rather, it’s thick with confusion and uncertainty. Where do you go from here? What do you even say to your ex-boyfriend - one you still have feelings for?

Deciding to take a chance, “how’s work? I saw that your company released a new game,” you finally say. Jungkook’s head snaps towards you, his eyebrow rising at your question.

“You keep up to date with my company?” he asks. The incredulity in his voice surprises you and you look at him pointedly.

“Of course I do. That company means a big deal to you,” you reply easily. Despite the situation, Jungkook finds himself chuckling, even as his heart constraints at the thought of you checking up on him - even if it’s from afar.

“Yeah. It’s doing really well. Made me a lot of money. How about you? Dohyun from your department still being an ass because you’re the one who got promoted or?” Jungkook questions casually, causing you to laugh.

“Ah, man. Gotta love Dohyun. No, yeah. He’s still being an ass - but at least he doesn’t openly question my authority anymore,” you reply with an easy smile. Then, “actually, I have you to thank for that,” you softly say.

Jungkook looks at you in surprise, “me?”

Nodding, “yeah. I took your advice and threatened to fire him if he ever publicly undermined me again. That shut him up pretty quickly,” you chuckle. Jungkook snorts, the two of you laughing.

“Good! He deserves it. I know he has a problem working under a woman, but man, you deserved that promotion. You were far better qualified than him,” Jungkook compliments. Ducking shyly, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ears before smiling gently at him.

“Thanks. It means a lot,” you mumble under your breath, making Jungkook shake his head.

“No. ____, I’m serious. No one deserved it more than you. You worked so hard for it. There were days I was even worried about the stress you were under because you’d forget to eat, or you wouldn’t sleep. But I guess it was worth it in the end, because you got the promotion,” Jungkook responds. Then, he pauses, a teasing smile playing at the corners of his lips, “even if it meant there were days you’d ignore me,” Jungkook sighs dramatically. That causes you to snort, and before you can stop yourself, you playfully smack his arm.

“Hey! I gave you lots of attention. Or did you forget that time when I skipped work just so we could play hooky and go snowboarding?” you ask. Jungkook bites his lips, a tinkling giggle escaping his lips at the memory.

“Oh, that was good. You were terrible, and you fell so much I was worried you’d break something,” Jungkook reminisces, a soft sigh following his words.

Giggling to yourself, “Yeah, well we can’t all just pick up a sport and instinctively be good at them,” you snort in response.

“You’re right. Really, it’s a curse being perfect at everything,” Jungkook nods sagely in agreement. Jaw dropping, you look at him in amazement before the two of you burst out laughing.

Suddenly, a new voice breaks “What’s going on here?”

Turning around, you freeze at the sight of Minhyuk. Alternating between looking at you and Jungkook, Minhyuk’s face is a picture of passiveness, his lips set in a thin, grim line. At the sight of Minhyuk, you sense Jungkook deflate, the easy atmosphere once again thickening with tension.

“Minhyuk… this is-” you begin, ready to introduce the two. However, Minhyuk snorts.

“Yes. This is Jungkook, your ex-boyfriend. I know. Which begs the question, why are you alone out here with your ex while I’m inside?” Minhyuk asks. You reel at the accusatory tone in his voice as you double-take.

“Excuse me? We’re just out here speaking,” you exclaim and once again, Minhyuk snorts.

“It looked a little more than that,” he points out. Jaw dropping in bewilderment, you scoff at him, your eyes narrowing into thin slits.

“Uh, I think I should leave the two of you alone,” Jungkook says quietly as he begins making his way towards the balcony door.

Seeing him walk away breaks your heart, and you want to tell him to stay. Nevertheless, you know you have no right to. Not now anyway, when you have bigger problems at hand. Bigger problems namely being Minhyuk. “What’s your problem?” you ask, directing your attention to your boyfriend.

“My problem is that despite the fact that you’re going to be marrying me, you’re out here with the ex that you were seeing for five years. How do you think that makes me look?” Minhyuk argues back. At Minhyuk’s words, Jungkook finds his blood freezing as he’s brought to an abrupt halt - just before he can escape the balcony. You, yourself, are at a loss of something to say.

“We’ve barely been seeing each other for two months! Why are you bringing that up now?” you cry in astonishment. Really, where had the come from?

“But isn’t that why our mother’s set us up? Because we’re both looking to get married? Isn’t that where this is supposed to be going? Yet, here you are. With your ex-boyfriend. Who you’ve paid more attention to than me this entire night, by the way,” Minhyuk points out. Spluttering at his words, your cheeks heat as you know you’ve been caught. The hairs on your arms stand erect, and immediately, you know that Jungkook is staring at you - but you refuse to look at him. You don’t want to see the expression on his face right now.

Instead, you decide to keep your attention directly on Minhyuk, “yes, this is where it’s supposed to be going, but-” you reply, only for Minhyuk to cut you off once again.

“But nothing. I like you, a lot. And I know we’ve only known each other two months, but I can see us having a life together. Is that not what you want? Isn’t that the reason we’re together in the first place? Do you not want to marry me? Say you’ll marry me and I’ll drop this right now,” Minhyuk finally says, his previous anger and insecurity at seeing you and Jungkook together dissipating. He levels you with his sincere gaze, the unanswered ultimatum heavy in the air.

Unable to help yourself any longer, you momentarily shift your gaze to Jungkook. It’s brief - barely a second - but it’s all you need. The utter look of despair is clearly evident on his face, a mixture of heartbreak and anguish painted so very clearly across his features. It reminds you of the day you’d broken up with him; reminds you of how he’d looked when you’d walked out on him.

Flashback - nine months ago

One lazy Sunday, you find yourself in the apartment you share with your boyfriend. The two of you are sprawled on the couch, barely dressed: Jungkook with only his boxers and socks, and you in his large t-shirt and panties. You’d both considered getting dressed, but had decided against it - especially since neither of you had any plans to leave the house. Hence, you find yourself pressed against Jungkook, your back comfortably flush against his strong chest, your head easily finding the perfect resting spot in the crook where his collarbone meets his neck.

Absentmindedly, Jungkook plays with the hem of your underwear, fiddling with elasticated lace as you scroll through Netflix. The film titles pass in a blur as you look for something to watch. Catching the attention of one title, you can't help but fixate on it for a bit. "Kook?" you call out to your boyfriend softly. You angle your head to look up at him while shifting your head onto his shoulder, so you can see him clearly. Jungkook hums non-committally as he glances at you from the corner of his eyes.

"What's up, sweetheart? Wait- if this is just to ask me if we can watch Zootropolis again, you know my answer is always yes," Jungkook says, his eyes twinkling in excitement. A light giggle escapes your lips but you shake your head.

"No. I just- we've been together five years now, yes?" you ask, turning your head back to stare at the TV. Jungkook's eyebrows furrow slightly, and he moves his head so he can better look at you.

"Yes? What about it?"

"Well-" you begin. Briefly you pause, worrying your lower lip, "do you think we'll get married?" you breathe out. Jungkook stills, the hand that had been mindlessly playing with the lace material of your underwear coming to a halt.

"What?" he asks, his chest rumbling under you.

"Well, have you thought about us getting married? Like, we've been together a while now, but I don't think we've ever really spoken about it," you sigh out. Ideally, you wanted to marry Jungkook - because, after five years, you're sure he's the one for you.

"Honestly?" Jungkook asks. Anxiousness pools in the pits of your stomach as you hear the slight trepidation in his voice. It's barely there - but you know Jungkook well enough to spot the tell-tale sign of his worriment.

"Honestly," you reiterate his statement, letting him know you want nothing but the truth.

Jungkook sighs, "honestly, I've never really thought about it," he breathes out. Immediately, you jerk, sitting up as you twist to look at him. Shifting so you're in a more comfortable position, you sit on his stomach, your thighs straddling his waist. Instinctively, Jungkook's hands fall onto your thighs. You look at him in a mixture of shock and disbelief, Jungkook returning his own expectant gaze.

"You've never thought about us getting married?" you sputter out, completely baffled by his words. How has he not thought about it? You've been together five years now. That's an awfully long time - surely, he's thought about it at some point. Not to mention, you're both twenty-seven now, almost thirty. So how has he not thought about it? You know you have. In fact, you dream about the day you walk down the aisle, Jungkook on the other side. Hell, you dream about a life with him; a family - because you know he's all you want.

"Sweetheart-" Jungkook starts, and you look pointedly at him, "listen- it's nothing to do with you. It's just, we're still young. I do love you, you know that, but I just never really thought about it," he continues. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you cock your head in question.

"Never?" you enquire. Jungkook simply shrugging.

"Not really," comes his simple reply.

“How?” you question, looking at him in confusion. Distinctly, you remember having light conversations with Jungkook. Conversations where you’d joke about being married, conversations about your wedding or your future together.

“What do you mean how?” Jungkook asks dumbly, causing you to frown.

“I mean- I know we’ve joked about it before. I’ve mentioned wanting to get married before, I know I have,” you point out.

“Yeah… but I thought you were joking and other than that, I’ve never seriously thought about it,” Jungkook says casually. You suck in a sharp breath at his words. He hadn’t ever seriously considered it? Fear settles in your stomach at his words. You’d always just assumed you and Jungkook would eventually get married - but he hadn’t ever seriously thought about it?

"Well... do you want to get married?" you ask plainly. Jungkook smirks at you, the corners of his lips twisting into a teasing, lop-sided smile.

"Are you asking?" he jokes. However, you're in no mood to play games. This is important to you - because your boyfriend of five years just admitted that he hadn't ever considered a future with the two of you together.

"Jungkook, I'm being serious," you say - your voice is soft, yet firm. Sensing the seriousness to your tone, the smile on Jungkook's face falls and he sits up. His movement displaces you from his stomach, and you find yourself moving to sit on the couch while looking at him expressionlessly.

"____, I don't know. As I said, I've never really thought about it," Jungkook reiterates.

"Well think about it now! Do you want to get married or no?" you ask, anxiousness bubbling in your veins. This conversation certainly hasn't gone the way you had expected it to. When you'd first asked Jungkook, it had just been an off-handed question, because really, why wouldn't he have thought about getting married. Now? You're not so sure.

"I- I don't know," Jungkook mutters. Face falling in despair, you get up off of the couch and walk into your bedroom. What did he mean he didn't know? Five years. You've been together five years, and he still doesn't know? Without a second thought, Jungkook follows you into your bedroom, watching in confusion as you begin getting dressed.

"Sweetheart? Are you mad at me?" he asks, causing you to snort derisively.

"Are you really asking me that right now?" you snap in response. Jungkook reels back at the irritation in your voice.

"Why? Because I said I don't know if I want to get married? Why is that a problem? I still love you- you know that," your boyfriend argues.

"The problem isn't that you love me Jungkook. It's that you just admitted you haven't thought about our future together," you cry back. Sensing your upset, Jungkook quickly walks up to you. He places his hands on your arms, gently rubbing up and down as he cooes gently at you.

"Baby, that's not what I meant. It's just, we're still young you know? And it's not like we have to get married to each other to prove anything. I love you, and you love me, isn't that enough?" Jungkook asks softly, trying his best to placate you. Tears forming in your eyes, you shake your head and push his hands away.

"But I want to get married Jungkook. But you don't even know if you want to get married," you reply back, your bottom lip quivering. You take in a deep breath in an attempt to hold yourself together.

"But I could... maybe," Jungkook replies. Though, you both hear the clear uncertainty in his voice. His words, paired with his tone, only has your heart breaking.

"Do you? It doesn't have to be now, but do you see us getting married? A simple yes or no. That's all I'm asking for," you breathe out.

Through tear-filled eyes, you watch your boyfriend contemplate your question. One minute passes. Then two. But he's no closer to giving you your answer. With every second that passes, your anguish grows into grief-stricken distress. Multiple times, Jungkook opens and closes his mouth, and each time, hope blooms in your chest, only to die when he closes his mouth. Long, excruciating moments pass, and you all but abandon hope, when finally he says something.

"I don't know," Jungkook replies. The very moment his words ring in your ears, that small inkling of hope within your chest in crushes. A sob escapes your lips and you feel your knees buckle. Distress painted on Jungkook's face, he reaches out to comfort you, but you back away from him, causing your boyfriend to flinch.

"Will you ever know?" you whisper hopelessly.

"I don't know," comes Jungkook's answer once again.

"Then I don't know if I can do this," you whisper back. Jungkook's head snaps up to you, his eyes wide as he looks at you in disbelief.

"What? What do you mean?" he chokes out, barely able to get the words out. Throat constricting, you swallow thickly as you choke back a sob.

"I don't know if I can still do this. Jungkook, I want to get married. I want to marry you. I dream about walking down the aisle to you, I dream about children - our children. I dream about a life with you. But you-" you stop as your voice cracks with emotion. Taking a deep breath, you pull yourself together once again, "but you don't know if you even want to get married and that... that just tells me you haven't thought about our future together," you finally manage to say, your voice strained.

"We're still young. We have so much time to think about that," Jungkook argues, causing you to shake your head.

"We're twenty-seven Jungkook. We've been together for five years. That's a long time, so why haven't you ever considered us getting married? Not even moments ago you admitted that you've never thought about it. How do you think that makes me feel?" you cry.

"I don't know! It wasn't on my mind. I think about you but I- I just don't know if I want to get married. Why is that a big deal?" Jungkook asks, even as anguish colours his veins at the sight of your heartbreak.

"It's a big deal to me! It's a big deal because like I said, that's what I want!" you practically yell. Taking another deep breath, you sniffle, "I don't think I can do this," you repeat once again. Again, your voice cracks, but Jungkook despairs at the resolution in it.

"What are you saying?" he chokes out, not wanting to believe it. You can't mean it. You can't be saying what he thinks you're saying.

"I'm saying- I'm saying we should break up," you finally say. You practically have to force the words out of your mouth - because, despite everything, every fibre of your being is still in love with Jungkook - still wants to be with Jungkook. But this isn't something you think you can compromise on.

"No," Jungkook blurts out. "N-no. Please, no," he practically begs. Once again he steps up to you, and once again, you step away from him - desperately needing the distance between you. "W-why? Why can't we wait until I know? Please, why can't we wait until I'm ready?" Jungkook pleads. Sucking in a deep breath, you shake your head as you look away. You want to. You desperately want to take his word for it, want to fall into his arms and forget this conversation. But you just can't.

"I c-can't," you express, "because what if we continue for another two, or three or five years, only for you to tell me you still don't want to get married? I don't want to start all over again in my thirties, Jungkook. I don't want to be in love with your a few more years, only for you to eventually decide you still don't want to get married," you reply softly.

"But we don't know if that'll happen!" Jungkook tries arguing and this time, you turn to him. Jungkook freezes at your face, the resolute sadness in your eyes breaking his heart. His heart constricts in his chest as he sees unwavering stubbornness, mixed with heartache and sorrow, in your eyes.

"Exactly Jungkook. We don't know. If you don't know now, after five years of being together, I don't know if you'll know in another few years. And I can't take that chance," you finally utter.

"____, please don't do this. I love you," Jungkook sobs brokenly. Unable to look him in the eyes anymore - unable to stand the utter devastation written on his face - you look away.

"I'm sorry," you whisper softly.

And then, you walk away.

By the time you’re drawn out of your reverie, Jungkook is long gone. In his stead, stands Minhyuk, who looks at you expectantly. ‘Say you’ll marry me.’ Minhyuk’s voice once again rings through your head and you can’t help but feel queasy at the statement. You had broken up with Jungkook because you wanted to get married - and you do. But, is Minhyuk who you want to marry? As harsh as it is, marrying Minhyuk feels like… you’re settling - and that doesn’t sit well with you. But what do you do now? What if this was your only chance? You’re twenty-seven now and you hadn’t lied to Jungkook when you said you didn’t want to wait another five years only for things to fall apart if he decided he still didn’t want to get married.

But this doesn’t feel right.

You and Minhyuk stare at each other, Minhyuk patiently waiting for your answer. Except, you have no idea what you want to say. Your skin flushes with heat and you feel panic set into your bones while your stomach flips. Blood rushes through your ears, the sound drowning out everything else as you simply stare at Minhyuk. Though, you’re not really looking at him. No, because even now, with Minhyuk standing in front of you and Jungkook long gone, there’s only one person on your mind.

The same person who’s been on your mind the entire night.

Abruptly, Hoseok’s words ring through your head. ‘You’re strong - but you’re also smart. Smart enough to know what you want.’ Your brother’s voice plays over and over in your head - like a broken vinyl - until it’s all you can hear. Then, a spark of epiphany courses through your head, and the dawning of revelation washes over you.

You do know what you want - more than anything.

And you know what you have to do now.

It's almost two in the morning when Jungkook finds himself outside of your apartment. He doesn't know how long he's sat there, back against the wall and knees up to his chest as he stares at your flat door. After he'd left Hoseok's apartment, he found his feet walking to a bar, and after about an hour of drinking, he'd walked home. Well, he'd meant to walk home. But, somehow, in his tipsy-fogged mind, he'd automatically walked to your building and then up to your flat. A while after that, he'd just sat outside your door, contemplating whether he should knock or not. The largest part of him desperately wanted to knock - and multiple times, fueled by the courage of the alcohol - he almost had. However, each time, the smaller part of him would stop himself, unable to actually follow through. What if you'd said yes to Minhyuk? What if you didn't want to see him? What if you're with Minhyuk? Jungkook doesn't know what he'd do if he knocks, only to find Minhyuk on the other side of the door.

Head repeatedly banging against the wall behind him, Jungkook stares at the gold plated numbers of your door. With every second that passes, the alcohol in his system slowly fades away and Jungkook finds himself sobering. But still, he doesn't leave. He can't bring himself to get up and walk away. It's late enough that sleep should begin fogging his mind, but again, not knowing whether you said yes or no to Minhyuk would eat away at him - and he knows he'd be restless and unable to sleep until he finds out. Yet, he just cannot bring himself to knock. So, instead, he just sits outside your apartment. Waiting for something. Anything.

For you.

Another hour passes and you still don't come. Jungkook lets out a shuddering breath, his head falling into his hands. Mentally, he draws up a pros and cons list of knocking - and yet, each time, he scraps them all. Even with all the cons: you could be engaged to Minhyuk, you could be with Minhyuk, you could be moving on with Minhyuk; Jungkook can't help but consider the pros: you could have said no, you could be alone, you could be waiting for him. It's that last one that he dreads. There's a small chance you couldbe waiting for him and that has hope flaring in his chest. But in this situation, hope is the most crushing thing in existence - because it's only a small chance - and his hope could be crushed the minute you answer the door.

A part of him believes you had to have said to yes - you just had to have - because that's what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted to get married. So, what reason would you have to say no? But that small, niggling voice in Jungkook head won't stop speaking - won't stop telling him that he's a reason you would have said no. Nevertheless, Jungkook knows that voice comes from his hope - and as he's mentioned - hope is the worst thing he has right now.

"You can't keep doing this, Jungkook. It's been nine months. You should move on- like she is," Jungkook mutters to himself out loud. He has no doubt that if anyone sees him, they'd think he was some sort of crazy person, but Jungkook also doesn't care. Over and over, he repeats the sentences to himself and eventually, he gets up, ready to leave.

But then he stops.

Turning back to your door, he takes in a shuddering breath, and before he can stop himself - or even rethink his spontaneous decision - he finds himself knocking. Because he desperately needs to know if he's lost you once and for all. Then, he waits again.

And still waits.

Time moves excruciatingly slowly - the seconds agonisingly passing away. Momentarily, Jungkook considers knocking again - maybe you're asleep, maybe you didn't hear him. But the adrenaline-induced courage has long since faded after he knocked, and once again he finds himself turning away.

However, then, he hears it: the clinking of a chain.

The door creaks open slowly, Jungkook sucking in a sharp breath as he spots you. You're dressed in a large hoodie - and hope flares in his chest as he recognises it. It's hishoodie. He thought he'd misplaced it a while ago - but no, apparently it was just with you. But why? Why hadn't you returned it to him?

As soon as the door is wide open, you stare in disbelief at the sight in front of you. Rubbing your blood-shot eyes, your mouth drops slightly as you realise you're not imagining it. Jungkook is standing in front of you. Why is Jungkook standing in front of you?

"J-Jungkook?" you stutter out, bewilderment heavy in your voice.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook blurts out. Taken aback by his sudden apology, your eyebrow furrows.

"W-What? Why are you sorry?" you ask, unsure of what's happening. You'd just been crying in bed - desperately wishing for Jungkook - so, when you'd opened your door only to see him, you'd thought you were dreaming. And now? Well, now you're just confused. What does he have to be sorry about?

"I made a mistake. You were right- I didn't- I never thought about our future together. I never considered getting married, or whether we'd have a family together and it's because I was comfortable. I grew comfortable in our relationship and I took it for granted. I took you for granted," Jungkook breathes out. His words fall so quickly from his lips, he practically rambles, and you really have to strain to understand his words. "After five years together, I just got so used to us. I thought I'd always have you, and so, marriage or a family didn't even cross my mind - but it should have. I should have thought about our future together. I'm sorry that I didn't, and I'm sorry that I thought about it too late," Jungkook continues. Once again, he pauses, taking a deep breath as he thinks about what to say next. But if he's being honest, he doesn't really know what else to say.

Shoulders deflating, Jungkook runs a weary hand through his hair, and suddenly, he looks more harried than you've seen him in a long time. "I'm just- I'm sorry I didn't think about it back then. I'm just sorry," Jungkook finishes lamely. There's more on the tip of his tongue: I miss you, I want you, I love you; but he can't bring himself to say them. Not when you could be happy with Minhyuk. He can't do that to you - he'd broken your heart that day - when he'd openly admitted he'd never thought about a future with you - and now, you have a chance with someone else. And he can't take that away from you, even if it breaks his heart to let you go. Left reeling by his words, they play over and over in your mind, and it takes all your brainpower to reallyunderstand them - but in your stunned daze, you don't say anything - and Jungkook doesn't know what to make of it.

So, instead, "I guess, that's what I wanted to say. I- I hope you're happy with Minhyuk," he chokes out. Sluggishly, you realise that Jungkook is walking away - and that's all it takes to restart your brain.

"W-what if I'm not happy? What would you do if I wasn't happy?" you rasp, your voice straining. Jungkook freezes at your words, his blood running cold. Then, he whips around so quickly, you fear he'd get whiplash. However, Jungkook doesn't care. Rather, his eyes swiftly rake over your face, searching for something, anything to confirm what'd he'd just heard. He finds it in your eyes; in the way they silently beg him to continue, plead with him to say everything on his mind.

Helpless under your imploring gaze, Jungkook finds his tongue unravelling as he lays his feelings at your feet. "I'd ask for a second chance. A chance to make you happy and give you what you want," Jungkook breathes out. Your eyes widen in the slightest at his proclamation.

Is he saying what you think he is?

Incredulity painted as clear as day on your face and sliver of hope evident in your eyes, Jungkook's face softens slightly. He wasn't lying - when Minhyuk had proposed the ultimatum, Jungkook had felt his heartbreak - and when he'd sat in the bar, all he could think about was you. More importantly, all he could think about was the missed opportunity. He imagined what you'd look like on your wedding day. How happy would you be? Would you look as radiantly beautiful as he imaged you to be? Would you smile in that carefree, captivating way that you did? But then, he grew maudlin - because he realised that if you did, it wouldn't be for him - and that broke his heart. It broke his heart to imagine you marrying someone that wasn't him, smiling for someone who wasn't him, creating a family with someone that wasn't him.

Nothing but sincerity in his voice, Jungkook continues, "I'd ask for you to take me back and to marry you. Because that's what I want - as long as it's with you," Jungkook finishes.

Throat clogged up with the heavy weight of your emotions, you swallow thickly, "then ask," you choke out. Your words are simple - and practically inaudible - but in the stillness of the empty corridor, and the quiet of the night, Jungkook hears it as clear as day.

"But- But what about Minhyuk?" Jungkook asks, unsure about whether he should or not. Hope flares in his chest at your words - but he doesn't want to believe them. Not yet, at least.

"Ask anyway," you simply say.

"Will you-" Jungkook begins, but the instant he opens his mouth, you're cutting him off.

"Yes," you reply - not even waiting for him to finish. It doesn't matter what he said. It doesn't matter if the words to follow are 'give me a second chance' or 'marry me' because all that matters is that he's back. All that matters is that he's willing to think about your future together - and right now, that's enough for you.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say-mpf," Jungkook begins, only to be stopped short when you pull him in for a kiss.

The instant his lips touch yours, you feel your entire body become electrified. Your veins are set afire with love, Jungkook's soft lips pressed against yours in a sweet kiss. Instinctively, Jungkook's arms wrap around your waist, his hands pulling your body flush against his as he feels you for the first time in months. You taste the same as you always have - temptingly sweet - and your body against his feels exquisite: your curves and contours fitting perfectly against his body. Sinking into this kiss, and consequently Jungkook, you sigh against his lips while you let your hands wander across his broad shoulder, before carding them into his hair.

Brief moments later, Jungkook breaks off your kiss; his forehead falling to rest against yours as he stares deeply into your eyes. His hands move to cradle your face, his thumb brushing your cheek tenderly as he lazily peppers soft kisses against your lips. Despite the softness of the moment, Jungkook can't stop wondering about Minhyuk - a sentiment he expresses to you in concern.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't say yes," you reply, your eyes holding nothing but the truth. Jungkook's eyebrows knit together, and you find yourself giggling at the adorable expression. After a light peck against his lips, you move to rest your head against his chest, your eyes slipping shut as you feel his steady heartbeat under your ear. "I couldn't do it, because even then, you were all I could think about. I thought I wanted to get married, and I did - I do - but I realised, I didn't want to marry just anyone. I wanted to marry you," you confess. Jungkook's heart soars in his chest and helpless under your spell, he finds himself pulling you in for another kiss.

However, this time, it's different. This time, your kiss isn't slow, or soft. No, it's needier - Jungkook’s pouring out his entire heart into your kiss as he bruises his lips against you. Gasping against his lips, your fists clench around Jungkook’s leather jacket - using the material to pull him closer into you. You pull away from Jungkook’s lips, breathing heavily against his lips as you stare up at him through the thick of your eyelashes.

“Do you want to come in?” you breathily ask. Jungkook pauses for a moment.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to-” he begins refuting. However, you’re already pressing kisses against his jaw - lightly nipping the sensitive spot just above his Adam’s apple.

“I’m sure. I’ve missed you,” you rasp out, your voice coming out breathier than you anticipated. Jungkook’s eyes dilate at your words, and before you know what’s happening, he’s leading you into your apartment.

The both of you barely make it into your apartment, before Jungkook is slamming the door shut and pushing you up against the hard wood. Caging you between his arms, Jungkook’s lips fall upon yours again, his lips moving in a frenzied fashion this time. Instinctively, your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer into you. Jungkook lets out a soft growl against your lips before pulling away. Peppering kisses along your jaw, he trails down the column of your throat before nuzzling his face into the juncture of your shoulder.

“God- I’ve missed you,” Jungkook whispers as he breathes in your calming scent. Own hands threading into his hair, you lazily play with the locks at the nape of his neck.

“I missed you too. A lot,” you moan out as Jungkook begins to suckle bruises onto the tender flesh of your throat.

“Is that why you’re wearing my hoodie?” Jungkook asks, curiosity winning out on him. Not that you don’t look good in it - in fact, seeing you dressed in his clothing is one of Jungkook’s favourite things.

“Maybe,” you reply coyly, “what are you going to do about it?” you continue. Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath at the teasing lilt to your voice and immediately, drops to his knees. You jerk at the sudden movement, your eyes widening marginally at the sight of Jungkook on his knees.

“If this was any other time, I’d teach you a lesson. But right now, I’ve missed you too much, and you look good enough to eat,” Jungkook groans out as he runs his nose along the exposed flesh of your inner thigh. Your breath hitches at his words, Jungkook’s large hands slowly wrapping around your thighs before he parts your legs. Tenderly, his hands run up the back of your thighs, and gripping the flesh of your ass, he pulls your hips further into him.

Running his nose against the cotton of your panties, Jungkook takes in a deep breath before groaning as the heady scent of your arousal runs through his nose. He pushes his hoodie further up your hips, his lips gently tracing his way up the length of your thigh. Positioned just over your hip, Jungkook places a tender kiss above where your bone is. Then, he bites down on the waistband of your panties before slowly sliding it down your legs. When he gets to the crooks of your thighs, he lets go of it, letting the material drop to the floor.

You step out of your underwear and spread your legs - making more room for Jungkook. Gripping one of your thighs, he pulls it to rest over his shoulder, exposing your pussy to his gaze. Dark, lust-filled eyes rove over your folds, Jungkook shuddering as the scent of your arousal deepens. Your sex is slightly dewy, glistening in the low lighting of your living room. Biting his lip, Jungkook edges closer to your folds before tentatively licking a line: all the way from your core to your clit.

“Oh fuck,” you groan out, your head lolling back while one of your hands shoots out to tangle into his thick hair. Hearing your low groan, Jungkook smirks against your pussy before repeating the action. Spikes of pleasure run up and down your spine, your eyelids fluttering as you lose yourself into the pleasure he brings upon your body.

Moving one hand, Jungkook presses two fingers against the petals of your sex before parting his digits in a ‘V’ shape and consequently your folds. With your pussy exposed, Jungkook once again licks a thick line from your dripping, honeyed entrance, all the way to your engorged bud. He licks harder this time, his tongue lapping in a broad line as he gathers your heady essence onto his tongue. Your arousal bathes his tastebuds, and with his nose pressed against the hood of your clit - all he can taste, all he can breathe is you.

Soft lips wrap around your clit, Jungkook pulling the sensitive bud into his mouth before lightly suckling on it. His ministrations cause you to gasp - the sound quickly morphing into a heavy moan when his nips your throbbing clit. Tangling your fingers further into his hair, you slowly undulate your hips, pushing them further into Jungkook as you tug on his hair, trying to get him to move fast.

Sensing the urgency in your movements, Jungkook rakes his teeth over your clit in warning once again. Then, breaking away with a pop, “Be patient, darling,” Jungkook breathes out. The lusty fog of your desire rolls thickly into your head, clouding your mind and setting your flesh aflame with want and through your wanton need, you barely hear Jungkook’s words. Instead, the feel of Jungkook’s warm breath wafting over your wet folds has you shuddering in pleasure.

“Kook,” you whine needily, desperation heavy in the high pitch of your voice.

With his face buried between your thighs, you can’t see his face. But you don’t have to. You can feel the smirk on his lips. Not that you really care - because he’s currently swirling his tongue around your clit tantalisingly and subsequently driving you to the brink of insanity. Lightly, he moves the two fingers that have you spread open. You shudder at the featherlight touch, feeling him softly ghost his fingertips over the outline of your folds before circling your entrance. His touch has your core clenching, your pussy walls fluttering around his fingertips.

“Fuck- I forgot how fucking sensitive your pussy is,” Jungkook moans against your clit. His words are slightly muffled, and the vibration of his voice shoots straight from your clit to the pits of your belly. Loins heating with pleasure, you feel your stomach twist and knot as Jungkook laps kittenish licks against your clit. Teasingly, Jungkook continues circling his fingertip against your entrance, feeling the way strings of your sticky wetness drip out of you before they cling to his digit.

Drawing away from your clit, Jungkook slowly pulls his finger away; his throat drying as he watches the thin, filmy strings of your arousal drip from your pussy and onto his finger. The thick rivulets stretch as he pulls away - and the moment one of them snaps - Jungkook is unable to stop himself from pressing his head back between your thighs. Tongue plunging into your core, his swirls his wet appendage around your cunt, groaning as thick streams of arousal drip onto his tongue.

“Oh fuck- Kook,” you mewl, your head falling back and hitting the door with a light thud. The pain barely registers in your mind, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as your pussy flutters around his tongue. Helpless against your needy whine, Jungkook pushes two fingers into your depths, your body jerking at the sudden intrusion as you tug at his hair reflexively. Twisting his fingers into you, Jungkook pumps his digits in and out, relishing in the feel of your silken, pulsating walls around his appendages as he continues eating you out - almost ravenously.

Gripping his locks tightly, you gyrate harder into his mouth. Waves of pleasure flit over your skin, your blood boiling with ecstasy as you feel the warmth in your belly begin to heat up. When Jungkook spreads your entrance using his fingers, his tongue plunging deeper into you, you let out a cry of pleasure. God, you’d forgotten just howgood Jungkook’s mouth was. Mouth and throat running dry, you swallow thickly before panting out his name over and over again. The once dull warmth begins burning your loins; searing, white-hot pleasure running up and down your flesh, your skin prickling with goosebumps as you feel your orgasm approaching.

“Please-” you groan out, the guttural sound intermingling with the wet, sloppy sounds of Jungkook eating you out. Thighs quivering against his ears, Jungkook pushes his fingers deeper into you. Expertly, he finds the sweet spot inside you, his fingers crooking at the knuckle as he strokes the spongy spot. Reflexively, your hand tugs his hair harshly while your knees buckle under the euphoria of your approaching orgasm.

“Are you cumming, baby? You wanna cum on my tongue?” Jungkook taunts, a teasing lilt to his voice. Swallowing thickly, it’s all you can do to simply rasp out his name. Knowing he has you on the verge of ecstasy, Jungkook doubles his efforts - his fingers pistoning inside you quicker as he wraps his wet lips around your clit.

“God, your pussy tastes so fucking good. I missed you - missed the way your pretty little pussy feels around my tongue,” Jungkook grunts out. Another whine of pleasure escapes your lips, your hips jolting into his face when the pads of his finger stroke your g-spot.

“Cumming-” you gasp out, your voice cracking under the pleasure.

“Then cum baby- cum all over my tongue. I wanna taste you- wanna drink you up,” Jungkook urges. The filthiness of his words, paired with the way he harshly sucks your clit, instantly has you cumming.

A loud mewl escaping your lip, you whine out his name. Your eyes roll back into your skull, your visions filled with white spots as your orgasm ricochets through you. Feeling you come undone above him, Jungkook rips his fingers out of you, his hands gripping your flesh and fingers digging into your skin as he holds your violently trembling thighs. The scent of your arousal thickens deeply, and Jungkook watches with dilated eyes as thick ropes of cum drip out of your cunt and down your thighs.

Placing his lips against your entrance, Jungkook slurps at your cum, swallowing it thickly and relishing in your taste. You whine out his name, your knees buckling from the power of your orgasm - and if it weren’t for Jungkook’s strong grip, you’re sure you’d drop to the floor. Gasping for air, you slowly come down from the high of your orgasm, Jungkook patiently waiting for you to descend down to reality.

Tenderly, your boyfriend places affectionate kisses along the length of your thigh, softly cooing at you while he whispers sweet nothings against your flesh. A soft smile tugs at your lips and you untangle your fingers from their vice-like grip on his locks. Instead, you softly play with the strands, marvelling at their silk-like texture. Jungkook always had beautiful hair, but with how long it is currently, you can reallyadmire it.

“Kook- want you,” you mew. Jungkook chuckles at the soft neediness in your voice.

“Come here, sweetheart,” Jungkook says before he gathers you in his arms. Gently, he brings you to the floor with him. Still swimming in the haziness of your orgasm, you feel Jungkook swiftly divest himself off his clothing, until he’s left naked. Once done, Jungkook gathers you into his arms once again. He shifts you so your thighs are straddling his, your body propped against his strong chest as his back rests against the door to your apartment.

Unable to help yourself, you rest your head against his shoulder, your hands indolently running over his skin as you finally feel him under your touch. You trace every muscle of his upper body - from the corded flesh of his biceps, to the taut skin of his abdomen; and then towards his broad, defined shoulders. Jungkook’s arms wrap around your waist, his hands running up the hem of his hoodie and flitting up your skin before he divests you off the article of clothing - leaving you both naked.

Shuddering at the feel of the night’s crisp air against your skin, you snuggle closer into Jungkook’s warmth, letting his presence wash over you. “I missed you,” you mumble against his skin. Jungkook’s face softens and he nods, his head dropping so he can press a kiss to your shoulder. His long hair tickles your skin and you relish in the featherlight touch.

Not wanting to wait any longer - and more than desperate to feel him inside of you - you flex your thighs, picking yourself up. One hand feels out for Jungkook’s cock, and easily finding the shaft, you grip the base before pressing it against your entrance. Feeling the bulbous head push against your entrance, you let out a soft whine before slowly descending down onto him. Slowly, he spreads out your walls, his thick girth stretching you out for the first time in months. It’s been a while since you’ve had Jungkook and the sheer size of him has a dull pain stinging at your pussy walls - but you don’t mind so much. No, in fact, you cherish it - because you’d sorely missed how transcendent he’d felt stretching out your pussy to its brim.

“Oh fuck- God, you’re so fucking tight. You feel so good,” Jungkook groans out, his cock twitching with every inch he sinks into you. Jungkook’s arms wrap around you, holding your naked chest flush against his as you continue your descent onto his cock. When he finally bottoms out, his balls resting just under your ass, you let out a little whimper, your fingers clawing into his shoulder.

“You good, baby?” Jungkook asks, his lips skimming the outline of your collarbone.

“Yeah- you feel- so good,” you gasp out. Jungkook gives you a couple of moments to adjust to the feel of him - and then, he’s gripping your hips before lifting them up for you. You cry out in pleasure as you feel his cock retreat out of you, only for Jungkook to thrust upwards, plunging the entire length of his shaft.

The two of you begin moving in tandem with each other: Jungkook helping you move on top of him while simultaneously impaling his cock into you. With every one of his movements, you feel pleasure run through your veins. Every time he plunges the entirety of his cock inside of you, you let out short gasps, your toes curling in pleasure. Moving slowly, you take the time to simply feel each other - the ardent fire of your lust and love burning bright in the pits of both your bellies as you sink into unadulterated pleasure.

Your slow, sensual pace continues for a little while longer - but you can slowly feel Jungkook’s desperation increasing with each thrust. His hands begin wandering over your hips and around to hold your ass. Fingers digging into the soft flesh, he grips your ass tightly before bouncing you harder ontop of him. Need fills his every movement - Jungkook’s thrusts becoming rougher. You bounce on top of him, your entire body shaking as Jungkook thrusts harder and harder into you. Changing the angle of his hips, Jungkook plunges his cock against your sweet spot, the head of his cock brushing it with every impalement of his hips.

“I’m cumming, baby,” Jungkook warns. Not that he really needs to, you can feel his cock throb erratically inside you, twitching every now and then as your walls clench rhythmically around his shaft - massaging his entire length.

“Cum, baby. Cum in me. Wanna feel you deep in me,” you say softly, your hands softly massaging his shoulders. Jungkook lets out a little groan, pulling your hips harder down onto him as he tries to push his cock as deep as he can into you.

“Cum with me. Play with yourself. Wanna feel you cum around my cock,” Jungkook urgers, and you find yourself growing wetter at the authority present in his voice. Unable to deny him anything, you twist one arm between your body and begin expertly playing with your clit. The additional pleasure has you crying out in ecstasy. All of a sudden, you feel heat rush through your veins, your lips parting in a silent scream as you cum for a second time.

Feeling your walls clamp around him tightly, paired with the gushing of your cum around his cock, Jungkook let’s out a little groan. “Oh fuck,” he moans. Then with two stilted thrusts, he plunges his cock as deep as he can into you before cumming with a soft roar. His cock twitches inside your walls before he shoots rope after rope of hot cum inside you. You groan at the feel of his warmth, your toes curling in pleasure as the base of your spine tingles.

Jungkook holds you to him tightly, clutching your body to his as you both gasp and pant for air. The haziness of your euphoric high slowly abates, until you’re both left clinging to each other. Eventually, the white spots in your vision clear and you slowly pull away from him. You take in the sight of Jungkook, completely spent and sweat-soaked locks clinging to his forehead. Hearing you giggle, Jungkook opens one eye to peek at you.

“Stop laughing at me,” he pouts. Once again, you giggle at him, and then let yourself fall against him. Exhaustion weighs down your muscles and you find yourself snuggling into Jungkook’s chest, sleep already replacing the lust-filled fog that clouds your head.

“I can’t help it if you’re so cute,” you mumble sleepily. Jungkook bites his lips, lightly snorting through his nose. However, he simply doesn’t have the energy to argue with you. Instead, he sits quietly while attempting to catch his breath.

Eventually, he decides he’s had enough of a rest - but when he turns to you, you’re already deeply asleep, a small smile on your lips. Tenderly, Jungkook tuts, but there’s no real ire in it. Gathering you in his arms, he picks you up, wincing when his muscles protest the movement. Ignoring the pain, he carries you into your bedroom before gently depositing under the cover.

Fatigue quickly overcomes him, and it’s all Jungkook can do to not collapse beside you. Holding off, however, he manages to sluggishly pull himself under the cover. Once under the thick sheets, Jungkook shifts closer to you before he pulls you into his arms. You’re both sticky - your skin covered in a light sheen of perspiration - and it’s slightly uncomfortable, but Jungkook doesn’t care.

He’d be damned if he spent one more night without you in his arms.

a/n: owo i hope you enjoyed it! please don’t forget to tell me what you thought 🥺

⇥ Masterlist

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fireheartbuzzard · 3 years

Text

my dream

day one: i just realized i’m desperately in love with you

author’s note: hi everyone!! this is my very first rowaelin fanfic, so i’m sorry if it’s bad lol. i’m also sorry that it wasn’t posted on time. my senior year of high school started at the beginning of september so everything was very hectic and crazy around that time, still is with college applications coming up, but i was able to finish this story. for all the other prompts, i either have an outline/idea for it or i’ve started writing something already. i know it’s late, but bear with me as i try to balance high school and everything else. i’ll add a header photo later, i think. idk. i’m new to this 😭

content warning: slight angst, lots of repeated words/phrases (sorry lol)

word count: 4.3k

Rowan’s eyes drooped as he walked into his home after a long day of work, desperately needing a nap on his lumpy couch. He set out to make some coffee for later tonight, knowing that he’d have to stay up again to finish another project for his summer class.

Rowan probably shouldn’t have procrastinated his assignment in order to spend time with Aelin at the carnival earlier this week, but he’d rather that than have Aelin spend time alone with Chaol. Just the thought of his name made Rowan scoff.

After being friends for a couple of months, Chaol had recently become Aelin’s new summer fling. Rowan always knew he’d had ulterior motives, but when the idea was brought up to Aelin, she’d laughed and said, “If anyone here had ulterior motives, it’d be me.” Rowan had no clue as to what Aelin was talking about, but she’d insisted that it was only a one-time thing and so far, had been determined to keep a buffer between them, which meant that Rowan had to accompany them on every single “date.”

Despite grumbling the whole time to Aelin at the carnival, Rowan had to admit feeling satisfaction after shoving the ice cream into Chaol’s face in order to prevent him from kissing Aelin. While Aelin looked amused during the whole ordeal, Chaol looked the exact opposite with a scrunched up mouth and furrowed brows. Rowan thought he looked constipated.

Maybe, he was. Rowan shook his head, no no, he was definitely angry.

Rowan smiled to himself as he poured boiling water into the coffee strainer over his mug. Letting it sit when he finished, he walked over to his couch and laid down, allowing his body to rest after hours of exhaustion. His eyes drifted closed as he thought back to Aelin’s situation with Chaol.

Rowan didn’t understand why Aelin wouldn’t just break up with him if she didn’t like him at all. Hell, he doesn’t even understand the reason why she does half the things she does, her mind truly baffles him. He wouldn’t trade her for the universe though, not for anything. Every single part of Aelin fuses to create the most amazing person Rowan’s ever met; Rowan adored everything about her—her witty remarks, her melodious laughter, her long golden hair, her beautiful turquoise eyes with a ring of gold, her bizzare and wicked humor, just about everything.

Gods, don’t even get Rowan started on her smile. Rowan fucking loves her smile. He would do anything in the world for her face to brighten with that glorious smile of hers. It’s the first thing he thinks of in the morning and the last before he goes to bed. Just thinking about her can light up his mood and make him smile.

Settling into the couch even more, Rowan drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face and his mind stuck on Aelin.

Rowan woke up with a start, accidentally jerking the dead weight on his arm. He felt warm breaths puff against his chest as he looked down at the culprit of his numb arm. Aelin lay in his arms, halfway on top of him, with her arm thrown across his waist and her legs entwined with his. Rowan smiled as he looked at her slightly open mouth and her golden blonde hair cascading down the edge of the couch.

Rowan had to get started on his project soon and he had his coffee waiting for him, but he couldn’t even move with Aelin lying on top of him, not that he wanted to anyway. So, giving in to this small defeat, Rowan stroked Aelin’s hair as he thought about his dream.

Rowan woke up to a smattering of kisses across his face and the loud giggling of a toddler, followed by quiet laughter. He felt a slight weight on his chest and small hands grabbing at the skin on his face. Opening his eyes, Rowan was met with striking cerulean blue eyes and a head of silver hair.

“Hey, papa!” The toddler grinned at Rowan, eliciting a smile from him.

“Hey, baby,” Rowan grabbed the toddler’s head and placed a loud smacking kiss on her forehead, evoking even more giggles from the kid.

He noticed Aelin drifting closer, hands cradling her swollen belly. “Alaïa wanted to wake you for breakfast. It only seemed fair to have her loudly slobbering all over you as your wake-up call since we all woke up early to make breakfast,” Aelin smiled as she spoke, her face glowing with happiness and amusement.

As Aelin sat on the edge of the bed, next to Rowan’s arm, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. Leaning in towards his ear, Aelin whispered, “Hurry up and get your spectacular ass downstairs before all the food is gone.” Aelin gathered Alaïa into her arms before leaving the bedroom.

By the time Rowan was downstairs, breakfast was in full swing. Instead of going to the dining table, Rowan stayed standing at the foot of the stairs, observing his family. A girl—with the same golden hair as Aelin and the same pine green eyes as Rowan—ate quietly with her shoulders back and her head held high. The boy across from her—with Aelin’s eyes and a head full of silver hair—smiled at his younger brother who was struggling with getting the food onto his spoon. The younger boy looked exactly like Rowan, as if someone made a clone of him with his hair.

Alaïa was a sight to behold. With food on her face and clothes, she looked to be having trouble maneuvering the food to her mouth with her spoon, accidentally flinging it into her silver hair instead. She seemed to be on the verge of tears from frustration, but with one quiet laugh from Aelin, Alaïa peered over at the smiling Aelin and gave a little giggle.

Aelin glanced up at Rowan in that moment and opened her mouth to say, “Da—”

A small noise of content broke Rowan out of his reverie. Rowan looked down and noticed that he’s still stroking Aelin’s hair as she nuzzles her head further into his hands. A small smile graced Aelin’s face, making her appear peaceful. Watching Aelin sleep made Rowan smile; he could watch her do anything and never get bored because he was just so enamored by her.

Rowan jerked to a stop. Enamored? His brows furrowed in confusion as he thought back to Aelin. Rowan does not believe he can live his life without Aelin in it; he doesn’t even want to think about the prospect of it.

As a groan broke out of Aelin’s lips, she snuggled closer to Rowan. He watched as her eyes fluttered open and she took in her surroundings before smiling up at him. It was the sight of that smile that made Rowan realize the truth of why he’d felt so satisfied upon smashing that ice cream cone into Chaol’s face and why his heart beat a bit faster whenever Aelin’s attention was on him. Just like it was now.

“Hi,” she croaked, voice still hoarse from sleep.

Rowan smiled, “Hi.” He looked around before looking back down at Aelin, “So, how’d you get in here?”

Her brows furrowed in confusion before she quickly snapped her fingers. “I broke in by using a rock to smash your windows,” Aelin grinned. Rowan felt blood draining from his face at her answer.

“WHAT?!” Rowan sprung up from the couch and walked to his front windows. Knowing Aelin, that couldn’t be exaggerated and didn’t sound like it’d be far from the truth. However, as he got to the curtains, he heard quiet giggles and turned around in time to hear them turn into loud cackles of laughter.

“Calm down, Buzzard. I was only kidding. I snuck into your backyard and used the key you hid in your shed by breaking down the shed door.” Aelin rolled her eyes at his exasperated expression, “Oh, don’t be so dramatic, you told me where you hid the spare key when you were confessing secrets while drunk off your ass,” Aelin waved a hand.

Rowan was never so mortified before. Secrets? Not just one, but more?!

Aelin must’ve seen the mortification written on his face because why else would she bellow with laughter like she was right now. Rowan just shook his head as he walked into his kitchen and grabbed his mug of coffee.

By the time he got back, Aelin was scowling at her phone.

“What’s wrong?” Rowan asked as he sat back on his couch and took a sip of his coffee. Aelin only groaned before throwing her hands up in the air and kicking her feet like a petulant child, causing Rowan to chuckle at Aelin’s antics.

“Chaol wants to go on another date,” Aelin frowned. “He’s insistent on continuing to meet up until he has to go back to Rifthold by the end of the summer.”

Rowan couldn’t help but frown along with Aelin. “I don’t understand why you won’t just call it quits. You obviously don’t like spending time with him.”

Aelin rolled her eyes in return. “I find his company companionable and I want to keep having him in my life.” Aelin sighed, “Anyway, can you please join us? He wants to have a picnic on the beach this Friday.”

Rowan thought about seeing half-naked Chaol and his grabby hands around half-naked Aelin on the beach and grimaced. He did not like the idea of seeing Chaol around Aelin at all, let alone a half-naked Aelin, so Rowan definitely had to go.

Rowan sighed as he ran his hand over his face, “I’ll go.”

“Really?” Aelin beamed. At Rowan’s slight nod, Aelin shifted on the couch and squeezed Rowan tight around the waist. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She murmured into his chest. Rowan wrapped his arms around her frame and squeezed her back. Rowan could definitely get used to this. Aelin pulled back a second later and stood up from the couch. “Okay, I’ve got to head home and feed fleetfoot now,” Aelin smiled, “Thanks for the amazing power nap.”

“Break in again anytime,” Rowan smiled as he heard her chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, Buzzard.” Aelin waved goodbye before leaving the living room and closing the front door behind her.

Upon hearing Aelin leave his home, Rowan thought back to his revelation earlier today. Rowan Whitethorn was in love with his best friend and she didn’t even know it. He was screwed. He was so irrevocably screwed and he had no clue as to how he’d get himself out of this mess.

Rowan was fuming. He swore that steam was blowing out of his nose and ears like those cartoon characters. Aelin had given him a popsicle to “cool off” and right now, Rowan felt like a petulant child at the beach.

The whole day, Rowan’s been doing his damn best to block Chaol from Aelin, but it seemed like Chaol caught onto his game and is now quicker with his actions. Aelin hasn’t been helping either. Not with the way she’s voluntarily playing in the water with Chaol right now in her show-stopping black bikini with embroidered little golden dragons.

Earlier, Chaol offered to put sunscreen on Aelin’s body for her. Before Rowan could beat him to it, Chaol had already started applying the cream to her long tan legs. Aelin didn’t even protest, but she didn’t miss the sharp glare Rowan sent Chaol’s way, silently laughing at Rowan.

It certainly didn’t help when Chaol was applying the sunscreen slowly, as if trying to memorize the feel of her skin. And instead of quickly stopping Chaol, Aelin keenly kept an eye on Rowan, an amused look on her face as she caught the narrowing of his eyes.

A while later, they played in the sand together like two toddlers on a date. Aelin giggled the whole time as she buried Chaol in the sand and created a mermaid body for him. Rowan figured she needed help getting sand so he repeatedly kicked sand towards Chaol from where he sat on his beach chair. A lot of the sand landed on Chaol’s face, which earned him a shout and glare from Chaol, but it wasn’t Rowan’s fault that the sand landed on his face when Rowan aimed it towards his neck.

Totally not his fault. Must’ve been the wind.

Aelin seemed to be amused by the whole ordeal, if the twinkle in her eyes and the giant smile spread on her face were anything to go by.

The rest of the day seemed like it was “Ignore Rowan Time” because they both ignored Rowan and kept to each other. They went to buy popsicles together and deserted Rowan at the beach. They reappeared about twenty minutes later, only to desert him again to go into the water. Rowan had enough of it.

Now, Rowan watched from afar as Chaol put his slimy hands all over Aelin, carrying her onto his shoulders and dropping her into the water. Sighing in frustration, Rowan angrily bit down a big bite of the popsicle before throwing the rest into the trash can a few feet away.

Grumbling the whole way, Rowan walked down towards the water, looking for ways to easily throw Chaol into it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Aelin spin towards him, smiling as she looked at him. Rowan returned a small smile, hoping it didn’t look like a grimace.

As Rowan crept towards Chaol, he kept eye contact with Aelin, conveying his plans to her through the movement of his eyes. Aelin’s face shone with amusement as her eyes held a mischievous gleam. Chaol, noticing something amiss and Aelin’s wandering eyes, turned just in time to be tackled into the water by Rowan’s broad shoulders.

Aelin cackled as Chaol’s arms flailed above the water, paying no attention to Rowan as he stalked toward her. It was already too late by the time Aelin felt herself get lifted by Rowan’s hands.

“Don’t you dare, Buzzard,” Aelin warned as she repeatedly slapped Rowan’s bare back. Rowan only slapped her butt in return, to which Aelin quickly gasped, “Rowan Whitethorn! You did not jus—”

Aelin was thrown into the water before she could even finish her sentence. Rowan watched in amusement as Aelin’s arms flailed before she pulled herself above water, spitting a mouthful of salty water at Rowan’s chest. Wiping the water from her face, Aelin glared at Rowan before running as best she could in water and trying to tackle Rowan. Rowan was immovable, but he grabbed her around the waist and fell backwards into the water anyway, pulling Aelin with him.

Up above the water again, Aelin glared at him and huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, Rowan’s arms still encasing her to his body. Rowan’s chuckle reverberated through Aelin’s body from where their bodies were touching.

The sun was setting, creating beautiful hues of pinks and oranges that reflected off of the many white fluffy clouds in the sky. Seeing Aelin bathed in that light was surreal. The ring of gold in her beautiful turquoise eyes, eyes that Rowan loves, more accentuated in the golden sunlight. Her golden hair glowing as if it was on fire. Aelin looked stunning.

Aelin grinned as Rowan’s hand flattened against her waist, his fingers contracting as if debating letting her go. Rowan noticed Aelin’s hand lifting to cup his face. Her hand was warm, as though the warmth of the sun she personified extended to her fingertips.

Rowan stared into her deep questioning gaze, eyes inquisitive as if waiting for him to do something. Rowan could only stare as she carefully stroked her thumb across his cheekbone, her hands slick with the beach water.

His eyes locked onto hers as she lifted her other hand to his face, her fingers tracing the lines of the tattoo along his temple. Rowan’s breathing turned ragged as he was reminded of the day’s events: how he was constantly left behind to watch over their things, how he was left out of the activities Aelin and Chaol had chosen to do, and how utterly frustrated and defeated he’d felt when Aelin didn’t try to avoid Chaol’s advances on her.

“Rowan,” Aelin breathed as her fingers slid down the side of his tattooed cheek, reminding Rowan of the way she’d touched Chaol today and how she’d allowed that touch to be reciprocated.

He quickly yanked both wrists off his face. He didn’t want her to touch him when she was fawning over some other man. He dropped her hands and stepped back, staring at her as she briefly closed her eyes in hurt.

“Don’t do that,” Rowan rasped, “Don’t—touch me like that.”

Aelin swallowed, her face burning red, “I’m sorry.” She backed away a step. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “It was nothing.”

Rowan’s eyes shuttered, “Good.” The word repeated in his head. “Fine.”

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Rowan kept a neutral face as he stalked away, trying not to look like a wounded puppy. He quickly toweled himself off before gathering his things and leaving the beach without Aelin in tow.

Rowan didn’t know why he was here. He’d definitely ruined things between him and Aelin if the hurt on her face was anything to go by. But, Rowan couldn’t go to sleep knowing that he’d done something that hurt Aelin. He’d lied in his bed, staring at his ceiling before deciding to just go apologize to her. He didn’t look at the time at all, just put on some clothes and left his house. He didn’t take his phone, didn’t take anything but the keys in his hands.

Now, Rowan was staring at a small two-story cream-colored house. Kingsflame flowers lined either side of the short path leading to the front door. Aelin’s favorite flowers.

“Fuck,” Rowan sighed. He shook his head as he slowly brought it to lean against his car horn. “I should’ve gotten her flowers.” He glanced at the clock to see if there’d be a possibility for him to make a quick trip to the flower shop. 2:48, the clock read.

The flower shop wouldn’t even be open at this time.

Rowan sighed as he quietly got out of his car and made his way up to Aelin’s door, dread pooling in his stomach at the idea of Aelin ignoring him completely. As Rowan waited after ringing the doorbell, he took note of the light ballad coming out of Aelin’s small home, the sorrowful melody hitting him in the chest. Aelin only ever listened to that type of music when she was feeling heartbroken and Rowan was hurt knowing that he’d been the one to cause that pain.

He rang the doorbell another time before deciding that she probably couldn’t hear if her music could be heard from outside. Sighing, Rowan pulled out his phone and called her, hearing the music pause for the duration of an unanswered call, and waited until the call went to voicemail before he reluctantly walked to the fourth kingsflame flower from her front door.

Rowan, then, got onto his knees and dug out dirt until he was met with Aelin’s spare key, which was only supposed to be used in dire emergencies.

Oh, this was very dire.

Grimacing at his dirty hands, Rowan walked back towards the front door and opened it before getting inside. Rowan threw the spare key onto the counter before rinsing his hands and hightailing towards Aelin’s bedroom.

Slamming open the French doors, Rowan’s eyes frantically searched for Aelin, finding the woman standing at the threshold of her connected bathroom in nothing but a blue towel wrapped around her lithe frame.

Shocked still, Aelin stood with wide, puffy, red eyes and a frown marring her beautiful face. Rowan knew she’d taken a bath to feel better, but it wasn’t enough to abate her emotions if the tears still lining her eyes were anything to go by.

Rowan’s chest hurt, his face crumpling in pain at the sight of her. “I am so, so sorry, Aelin,” Rowan apologized as he looked deeply into her sorrowful eyes. “I hadn’t meant to react like that—like your touch had been so repulsive that I had to quickly get rid of it. But when you did touch me, I was reminded of how you’d touched Chaol earlier in the day, how you’d allowed yourself to be touched by him. I didn’t like watching you with him, let alone touching him.” Rowan took a step forward and some of his anxiety quelled at the insistence in her eyes for him to keep talking. “I was mad and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

Aelin seemed at a loss for words as she silently processed everything he’d said, her eyes analyzing his face as she searched for the sincerity of his words. Her head tilted slightly as if trying to further understand his words. “Why were you mad?”

Rowan subtly winced as rubbed the back of his neck, ducking his head and staring at the wooden floor. “Like I said, I don’t like Chaol,” Rowan explained.

“No, no. You said you didn’t like watching me with Chaol. You were jealous,” Aelin deadpanned.

“Mad or jealous, I don’t care. All I care about is you and the fact that I love you,” Rowan shouted as he threw his hands into the air.

Aelin’s breath hitched as she stared in shock at his sudden outburst. Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she gaped at him. “Wh-what did you just say?” Aelin sputtered.

“I had a dream, Aelin. I was woken up by a 2 or 3 year-old child and she was laying on my chest when you walked in. You told me that you had her wake me up by giggling and kissing my face because while I slept in, you and the kids woke up early to make breakfast. Our children were in that dream and you were pregnant with our fifth child.” Rowan ran a hand through his hair before he took the remaining steps between them and gently cupped her face as he looked into her eyes. “When I actually woke up, you were right there in my arms. I’d never been more peaceful and content than when you were in my arms. As you were laying there, I’d realized I wanted that dream to become reality. And, I wanted that with you. You’re it for me, baby. You’re my dream and my forever. I love you, Aelin. Please forgive me.” Rowan gently rested his forehead against hers as he wiped the tears streaming down Aelin’s face.

Aelin’s hands came up to grasp his elbows as Rowan leaned down and kissed her right cheek, his hands moving to tuck her hair behind her ears. His lips moved towards her other cheek, pressing another light kiss there before moving onto both of her eyelids. He continued placing light kisses onto her forehead, her nose, and her chin.

As Rowan got to her lips, he angled his head away from her face to stare into her eyes, seemingly asking for permission to continue his path. When Aelin reached her hands up and gently cradled his face as he slowly leaned in, Rowan threw all caution to the wind and finally pressed his lips on hers.

Kissing Aelin was better than anything Rowan had ever known. The soft and hesitant, yet determined and insistent press of her lips against his set his body on fire. Rowan felt like he was burning inside out, but he didn’t care because every second with this woman in his arms was worth burning to ashes.

Pulling away, Aelin looked into his eyes, placed her hands on his shoulders, and said, “I know.”

Rowan pulled back a bit, pressing another kiss to her lips before looking at her questioningly. “What do you mean you know?” Rowan gently rested his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to his body.

Aelin sighed, “I mean, I know that you love me. Don’t worry, I love you, too, Rowan.” Aelin leaned onto her toes to lightly kiss him on his lips. “Why do you think I’d devised all these plans to make you jealous anyway?” Aelin shrugged.

Thrown off guard, Rowan froze as he stared her down. “Plans to make me jealous? What are you talking about? How did you know?”

“All I have to say is that you need to learn how to control your alcohol intake. Getting a love confession from my best friend when he’s shitfaced drunk was not how I planned on learning about his undying love for me.” Aelin waved a hand, “Anyway, I had Chaol act like an obsessed lover so you would get riled up and finally make a move. He’s truly only a friend that’s visiting for the summer and he has a fiancée back in Adarlan; she's actually in on it too, so no need to worry. I’m not so sure if my plan was a good or a bad idea, considering the tumultuous outcome.” Aelin glanced up at him to gauge his reaction.

Rowan didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry. A sudden laugh erupted out of Rowan, startling both him and Aelin. “It was definitely a good plan if I’m able to be yours in the end,” Rowan muttered, leaning down to kiss Aelin.

Aelin pulled back and quirked a brow. “Who said you could be mine?” The question was paired with Aelin’s arms crossing over her chest. Rowan immediately paled.

“Well,” Rowan rubbed the back of his neck, “I assumed that since you reciprocated my feelings, you’d be my girlfriend now, but…” Rowan trailed off awkwardly.

“Did you ask yet?” Aelin inquired, a serious expression taking over her face.

Gripping Aelin’s hands in his, Rowan looked into her eyes as he asked, “Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, will you do me the honor of allowing me to become your boyfriend?”

Aelin pretended to be thinking for a few seconds, eliciting a pinch in the side from Rowan. Aelin grinned, a smile so beautiful, Rowan would be a fool to not smile back.

“Of course, Buzzard.”

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