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#Im really excited to share all my thoughts and discoveries!
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Any wild guesses on what my favorite episode is?
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In all seriousness, tonight (or maybe tomorrow morning) Im going to post the first of a series of analyzations of Helluva Boss. Starting with general overviews of each episode. Things like blink and you miss it details, easter eggs, foreshadowing, ect. As well as talking about parts of the episodes I feel get overlooked.
I will be doing one episode at a time, hopefully one a day. Would like some input though: Should I start with the pilot or episode 1?
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lutawolf · 2 years
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Hello Luta.
Ill try to be polite and keep my rant short but i cant promise anything.
First of all, im from Mexico so english is not my main language so please bear with me and my grammar wrong doings.
So let me give you a bit of context, i first encountered BDSM when i was a 16 yo (Im 20 yo now dw), it was through some fanfic and at that time i didnt really understood what was happening and i started searching a bit about it but i really didn't talk about it, it was like my big secret that i knew about this. Fast forward when i was around 18 i dont know how one night i ended up on BDSM advice reddit and i was so excited to tell my friends about my new discovery but they ignored me lol. So yeah after that i pretty much stopped searching and kept it on lock until KP. I remember that i was thrilled with Kinn and porsche relationship, i loved it and i told one of my friends that i wanted that type of dynamic but then Vegaspete happened and i was gone, the face on pete when Vegas was touching him before the kiss, yeah I want to be him so bad. So i dont even know how i ended up on your Tumblr but i read all your explanations one night and i was shaking in excitement, everything was so fucking clear. So yeah I started to search way more about it and finally understood what Subspace was and oh the way im craving to be able to experience it. So i kept searching and reading and got to the point where i can admit yeah im on the submissive side. Im sorry this is getting long i promise im almost finish. So im also watching LITA and let me tell you my personality is basically Sky BUT seeing rain this last episode was like seeing myself on my last relationship minus the part when Payu was so good and caring for him. When payu was telling him that he needed to focus on School, i wanted to cry because I need someone to tell me that and when i saw rain waiting for Payu for hours only to tell him that he did well, i understood him perfectly. So after seeing the episode i ran to your Tumblr and all of the things i was thinking about their dynamic were right and I came across your post about being a non sexual Dom with your friends and it also clicked for me the way i would always be a bit bratty with my friends but always always waiting for compliments and waiting for them to tell me what to do. So yeah i dont even know why i wanted to tell you all of this right now, i guess it's more of a thank you for making me see lots of things about myself. I dont think im ready to search for the BDSM here in Mexico, i find it pretty scary but at least now i know what is going on with me.
This was morea rant than a question, so im very sorry, just wanted to share.
Thank you so much for your analysis, they helped me a lot to understand and accept myself.
Hey Hey takhun!!!
For English being a second language, you did absolutely beautifully. I understood every bit of this and I appreciate you taking the time to write it in English. It clearly showcases how much of a caring individual you are and I adore you for it.
If you are more comfortable writing in Spanish then please feel free to just know it will take me a bit to translate it. I can read it a lot better than I can speak it though🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ My husband and my kids are all basically fluent, I don't know what's wrong with me. My brain literally goes BIRD BIRD BIRD SQUIRELL when I try to speak it. We went to Mexico this year and everyone talking to me and here is my family answering for me. All that to say I have mad respect for my bilingual peeps.
I remember you reading my stuff. I got notifications. I can always tell when people are really feeling it because suddenly all my D/s posts start getting likes. Trust me , I love it. Headspace is something but don't rush it, it takes the right person to not crash and burn. When you have the right person though, it's like you've hit another dimension.
I'm thrilled that you thought to run to my blog. That makes it worth staying up late to write the review. I really do appreciate the share. If I've helped even one person then it means the world to me. Thank you 💜💜💜
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dashedwithromance · 3 years
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Secret Moments In A Crowded Room - Princewitch
okay so DISCLAIMER im scared to post this because we’ve never really seen romantic wrath before so idk if people might think this is OOC but i wanted princewitch fluff desperately and cant wait til october. inspired by the teaser quote she released yesterday and ‘dress’ by taylor swift
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The ball raged on around her, dancers swirling around impossibly fast, flashes of fabric catching the light of the serpent scones. On and on, all without her. Her husband sat to her right on his larger throne, staring into nothing. They had exchanged all of five words that evening.
She did not blame her husband for his coldness, not truly. If their positions were switched, and she had been forced to marry a random demon while still loving and grieving her murdered spouse, she doubted whether she would even manage civility. Pride continued his business, barely taking notice of his young wife, and she was glad, of that, at least. If he’d wanted her... a shudder snaked down her spine, curling in her gut. Her mind still echoed with the unnatural violation of Lust’s magic, and the thought of another demon prince perusing her like that was foul. There was only one prince she wanted, and his sin was wrath.
Dancing in Hell was nothing like she’d seen on the streets of Palermo. Nothing like the carefree dancing of Vittoria, so full of light and life and love that nothing seemed to touch her. Here, movements entwined with danger, every dance a flirtation with living death. People danced with weapons, exchanging daggers and rondels and rapiers like secret lovers. Jewelled garrottes hung around every neck, poisonous pearls glittering in various ornate hairstyles. An unholy masquerade indeed.
Her own mask was a fine decoration of gold and jewels. Metallic serpents entwined across the mosaic-like surface, darker cracks embedded across it. The mask had arrived one evening at her rooms, wrapped in luscious velvet. No letter accompanied it, the only sign of the sender being a golden snake that slithered up her arm before dissolving into sparks. The decoration matched her dress, a similar mosaic of black silk, lace, and golden serpents. Truly befitting a queen.
Fury burned through her as she watched the revellers pass her by. They danced without a care, members of the seven houses intermingling freely. She wanted to scream and shatter the very throne she sat on. How dare they dance as if mere months ago, one of their own had not been taking the hearts of witches? As if she did not sit on a dead witch’s throne? A witch who still had not found justice, who’s body had been ripped to shreds in the cruellest way imaginable?
“Careful, little queen.” Pride’s voice rumbled in her ear. He still did not look at her, but leaned closer to whisper, “Lest the people learn your ungrateful thoughts.”
Closing her eyes to avoid murdering the demon she’d married, she took a deep breath. The air smelt like fire and spirits and the sweat of colliding bodies. Suddenly, the sight of it all disgusted her. The dancing, the drinking, the living, all of it. Selfish, she knew – others were allowed to live despite Vittoria being denied the very same. But she couldn’t help it. She longed for nothing more than her sister to live, even if it meant sacrificing her life to the demon beside her. There was nothing to be done, however. Her sister was lost forever.
The night dwindled on, interrupted by the occasional violent thought towards her situation. Though, as contrary as it sounded, not all was dark about her time in Hell. She had one bright spot, one flame in the dark. Something she kept locked against her chest for fear of discovery.
Casting her eye across the room, she caught the gaze of the hidden secret. Prince Wrath leaned against the wall from across the room, his eyes flickering as they locked with hers. He was dressed in a sinfully beautiful suit, a pattern of golden serpents slithering up the fabric from the floor. The snakes seemed alive in the firelight. Perhaps they were. A smug sense of satisfaction ebbed through her when she realised they matched. No one else would notice – serpents weren’t exactly an uncommon motif in Hell – but they knew, and it was comfort enough. With a movement, so small she nearly missed it, he tilted his head towards the exit.
A thrill raced through her, paired with genuine, loving excitement. They had not been alone in much too long.
Things had not always been so relaxed between her and the prince of Wrath. Her first few weeks in Hell had been spent furiously glaring in his direction. He’d given her the ultimate cold shoulder until she’d nearly burned from it. She’d been full of fury at his leaving her – at the humiliation she felt from having the human audacity to trust a demon. One day, when they crossed each other in a hallway heading to court, her temper had bubbled to boiling.
She remembered yanking him into a nearby room – he let her, she realised now – and yelled at him for the cruelty of leaving her alone. Of giving her hope and wrenching it away, like a child suddenly filled with jealously over a shared toy.
The sheer incredulity on his face was the first indication she was mistaken. He laughed, a sardonic sound coated in disbelief.
“I left you?” His voice was low. The walls around them seemed to thrum in response to his deadly power.
“I left you?” He repeated, “I gave you all the tools to summon me, witch, and you refused. Too good for my help, perhaps.  I have no more responsibilities to you. Our deal is done.”
Wrath turned to leave, but by some miracle, she managed to dart in front of him. Her body was pressed against the door, the cold stone mixing with the heat she felt roaring off him. Emilia should’ve been afraid, should’ve been trembling in her gifted boots at the sight of him, but she wasn’t. Why, she couldn’t quite tell.
His gaze burned into hers, but her own was just as powerful.
“I tried everything to summon you after what Envy did, and you didn’t come.” She hissed. The wrath of a prince was one thing, but hell hath no fury like a witch scorned. “You left me. I was foolish enough to believe you would ca- that you would come for me once, but I will not be fooled twice.”
The look he gave her was indiscernible. Equal parts rage mixed with... something lighter. If anyone else looked at her like that, she would’ve described it as hopeful. But demons did not hope, no more than they loved.
He was scanning her face with the focus of a battle-hardened warrior. Whatever it was he found made him take a step back.
“What did you do wrong?” He muttered, almost to himself.
“I did nothing wrong,” She couldn’t help but fire back, “I did everything correctly – even used the ring you left for me in the drawer.”
At that, he stilled. Stilled and stopped breathing entirely.
Then, as if talking to someone who’d sustained a head injury, he said, “I didn’t leave you a ring. I left you my house seal, solid gold, of course, but no ring.” He went on to describe where he’d left it – the top drawer beside her bed – but she already knew.
The conclusion settled in her stomach like a stone. Another feeling, one she didn’t let herself scrutinise, unfurled within her.
“Someone didn’t want me to summon you.”
“Close. Someone wanted you to think I wouldn’t come.”
A question hung in the air, so loud neither could bring themselves to give it voice.
Would you have come, Prince Wrath? Would you have come to my aid when I needed you most? When I needed to know you were alright?
Keeping those treacherous thoughts under lock and key, she focused on another facet of the curious mystery.
“Who would it benefit? And who would’ve known what to switch – the house was warded, was it not?”
Silence from her princely counterpart.  
“Would the wards collapse with your ‘death’?”
The look on his face told her all she needed to know. Someone had stolen into the house and replaced the seal with a ring to deliberately throw off their efforts. Which meant-
He hadn’t abandoned her at all. Given her the cold shoulder, yes, when he believed she’d forgotten all about him.
What a hellish mess this all was.
From that moment on, the demon and the witch had become begrudging allies once more. Wrath had been furious one of his brothers would dare interfere with his affairs, and she needed an ally, desperately. While it rubbed against her pride to accept help, she knew it would’ve been foolish to refuse. She would be a vengeful queen, but even queens needed council.
Their alliance had turned to friendship, then burst into royal flames as they look the leap to lovers. In the candlelight of a stolen moment, Wrath had held her with more care than she’d known possible. Still Wrath, still echoing that immense power of his, but softer, somehow. Not gentle, not truly, but tender. It was not love, but it was fire and anger and care all pieced together in a ball of desire.  
Which led her to that moment, as she stole away from her husband’s masquerade ball. She had stayed long enough, and the party celebrated nothing of importance. Rather a show of unity between her and Pride, a display of wealth and power.
As she left the throne room she realised she had no idea where her prince had gone. Back to his rooms? No, they avoided meeting there. Being caught together in casual rooms could be explained away as strategic briefings, but being caught in the bedroom of her husband’s brother... did not leave for much escape room.
Just as she was about to curse his name, a snake slithered around her ankle, causing her to start. Was that Wrath’s laugh, she heard? Looking to her feet, the snake stared back up at her, its golden eyes winking in the candlelight of the hallway.
Of course. Wrath and his dramatics.  
The snake made its way down the hallway, keeping close to the wall to be inconspicuous. It led her to an offshoot of the main hallway, then came to a halt at the final door. The serpent dissolved into golden sparks as they reached their destination. She knocked quietly before letting herself in.
Wrath lay stretched out across a dark velvet lounge, watching her entrance. His mask dangled lazily from his fingers, the ribbon used to tie it brushing across the floor. His shirt was unbuttoned halfway, a toned chest peeking out from the fabric.
Deadly, dangerously beautiful.
And hers.
“You look exquisite,” He strode across the room before taking her in his arms. His hands quickly untied her mask before tossing it to the floor with haste. He took in her form for a moment, then tilted his face down to capture her lips with his own.
No matter how many moments they stole, it was never enough.
His kiss was liquid fire igniting the flame of her desire. One hand rested against her back, with the other cupping her face. She gasped against his mouth, revelling in how desperately hard his body felt against hers. Greedy hands slipped up his chest to unbutton the rest of his shirt. Pulling the material away, Emilia broke the kiss for a single second to gaze at her lover.
Smooth, tanned skin met her eyes, followed by a swift appreciation of the hard strength that lay beneath his trousers. He laughed as he caught her gaze, knowing exactly what she was admiring.
He kissed her again, this time grabbing the backs of her thighs and lifting her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist. The taste of him- Taste was her speciality, but there were no words to describe how perfectly Wrath kissed her.
After too long and never long enough, the lovers parted for breath. He still held her against his chest. In this position, she was the perfect height to rest her head in the crook of his neck. Their breathing echoed through the room in perfect harmony.
She could feel every rise and fall of his powerful, tattooed chest. Such lethal power contained within his body, yet he held her with all the tenderness the world could offer.
“You know,” He mused, “We never got to dance.”
“Are you asking?” A sly smile in his direction.
“Yes. Witch, will you dance with me.” He said witch the way men said love. She looked down at him, grinning.
“No. I can’t dance.”
He laughed. Such a bright sound for one bathed in darkness.
“Liar.”
“Fine. I don’t dance, because I’m awful at it.”
A teasing hand ran down her back.
“I’ll teach you.” At her raised brows, he continued with, “A queen must use every skill in her arsenal.”
Lowering her to the ground, he held out his hands for her to grasp.
“Place your right hand in mine, and left against my shoulder.” Even through the fabric of his shirt, she could feel the heat roaring off him. When she did as he instructed, he pulled their bodies together until not even an inch separated them. Emilia was fairly certain this wasn’t part of the dance, but she wasn’t going to interrupt. She quite liked this position, pressed against the prince of Wrath, his breath rustling her hair. His hand settled against her spine.
“This next bit is the most important, do you hear? It is crucial even that beginners like yourself get this right.” He teased, and she scowled back at him, though they both knew it was merely in jest.
“Tilt your chin up so you can gaze adoringly into my eyes.” He grinned down her scowl. “I want you to focus on how handsome I am, how talented, and forget everything else. Except how much you want to kiss me.”
She couldn’t help herself, she laughed. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Perhaps.” His voice turned low and seductive as his hand slid down her spine, drawing her a little closer. “But you’re waltzing like a goddess now.” As he spoke, they started to move. Slowly, he stepped back and followed. To the side, and she followed again. On and on, their little box pattern continued, until Wrath picked up the paced and spun her around.
A gasp left her lips at the movement, but before she could overthink and stumble, he caught her once more with a smile.
“Who are you, and what have you done with the moodiest prince of Hell?”
He shook his head at her words, huffing a laugh as he did. She felt the truth bloom in his chest, he didn’t have to say it. These borrowed moments, these secret trysts... it was happiness, rare as it was, that fluttered between them. They both knew it couldn’t last, but for now, it was real. In that moment, it was all that mattered.
“Teasing witch,” He murmured, and kissed her. Kissed her as if they were not members of two rival houses, as if she was not an unwilling wife to his bastardly brother, as if there were not a chasm of reasons to keep them apart. Tomorrow would bring hellfire, and perhaps regret, but tonight was theirs.
They kissed until night dwindled away into day, and their secret was no longer safe. With the promise of “soon” and an unspoken “I miss you”, Wrath kissed her once more before exiting her side.
The queen of Hell picked up her mask from where it had been tossed across the floor, and stood still for a moment, taking a deep breath. The moment had passed, and she was no longer just Emilia, a powerhouse in her own right, and friend and lover of Wrath’s.
She was the Wicked Kingdom’s vengeful queen, and she would find her happiness once more, or burn the world trying.
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plushievash · 2 years
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4:02 am questions: all prime numbers
oh thats a fun way to do it putting it under a readmore so its not too long <3
2. Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? yeah, occasionally, when i think too hard abt it i mourn the person i couldve been if i wasnt u kno...
3. Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? yes! multiple people even! <3
5. Do you have to be related to be family? of course not! <3 just a few of my best friends ive never met irl that i consider family are renee, emry, n eli <3<3
7. Are you in love? Do you want to be? i think so yes
11. Would you change your appearance if you could? i can and i will >:) im making myself into who ive always been! isnt that great? <3
13 - answered!
17. Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? i dont think so unless u count plushies ?
19. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? im not anymore...sometimes i wish i was because i felt like i owed that to my lolo and lola (though they never pressured me into it.. i just felt like it could be a way to honour them)
23. Is love about convenience or something more? Can it be about both? i dont know what it means abt convenience so.. something more!! love is the way u get excited abt ur fave things; love is ur friends sharing their fave things w u; ect ect !! <3 love is everywhere bestie <3 maybe corny as hell but im tired of being embarrassed and depressed !! theres so much love in everything and its nice to think abt :) !
29. Do you believe in some form of god/s? no? i dont like to think abt it too hard
31. Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? i believe im meant to drown as irrational or insane as that might sound i always had a feeling i was meant to drown.. even when i was little if i started to drown i wouldnt freak out because i just ? trusted the water ? deciding it was my time to go ? but when i get extremely paranoid im afraid i will be hit by a car or killed by a random act of violence
37. Do opposites attract? magnets! yes :) ok ok sorry. maybe. idk w/e lol
41. What fundamentally matters do you? money fun and my besties <3
43. Do you create art? How do you define art? WELL. yes <3 i do my funnie little drawings :) how do u define art? who give a shit <3
47. Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it? there will always be suffering in life but thats not all it is
53. Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? nothing. i know everything so jot that down. <3
59. What do you think the next era of music will be like? i dont know bestie... i listen to the same songs on repeat for years on end </3 penis music.
61. Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? oh it is very tumultuous times
67. What’s the worse thing a person can be? abuser obvs
71. Would your life make a good play? yes im the most interesting person in the world hope this helps <3 it has to be a musical
73. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? AS FUCKING IF LMFAOOOOOO
79. When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? sad music my beloved <3
83. Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? yaes... i want to get killed in space seems fun
89. If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? losing ALL my memories is something that freaks me out so much i have such a huge paranoia abt it i do not want to think abt it
97. Are you overly analytical? perhaps but my thoughts and my brain is sexy so its ok :) (bonus fact 97 is my fave number)
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swiss-cheeze · 4 years
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What Gube Wore || Matthew Gray Gubler
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Request: YES/NO: I asked the Instagram account whatgublerwore if I was able to use a few of their posts (as well as a few I asked for specifically) and they agreed!
Gender: they/them, none.
Warnings: uh, cute? Kissing, Gube being Gube.
———
‘Can we go for a walk?’ you had asked, ‘of course, after I finish learning this scene babe,’ he said. Oh yeah, walk, AN HOUR AGO. All you wanted to do was to take a walk in the nearby park, frolic in the flowers and then walk home in the dark with Matthews arm wrapped around your shoulders as you try not to fall asleep on him.
That's it, that's all.
You loved him with every fibre of your being, for five years of course you did, DO. But goddamn can Gube be annoying.
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Puppy.
Fish.
Matthew at a red carpet two years ago.
Criminal Minds.
Cosplay.
Puppies.
This is what graced your instagram page as you scrolled through that little magnifying glass at the bottom of your screen. Scrolling. Scrolling. Scrolling. God, it was endless! You let out a little huff as you put your arm down beside you, phone still in hand, and let your head fall back on the top of the couch. You could hear Matthew rehearsing upstairs for one of the newer movies he recently got cast in; Gube did allow you to rehearse lines with him every now and then when he needed it, bounding down the stairs with a ‘BABE HELP’ before shoving the paper into your chest, telling you what to read and where to end before bounding back up to his office for another few hours, however that was not the case today. Picking up the dreaded block of wires and battery you scrolled to the top of the discovery page, pulled down and waited for the pictures to load, however as soon as the pictures did load, one caught your eye. You cocked an eyebrow as you pressed on it; a half picture of Gube and the shirt he had on and the other half was the shirt he was wearing in the picture.
‘Whatgublewore’, was the name. You cocked an eyebrow as you clicked onto the profile, and sure enough there was 29 posts of shirts that Gube had worn, that teddy bear face coin purse (you swore you saw that purse not a day ago), sweatshirts, jackets, a cup and that orange and black scarf of his you loved. They were all there including the real names as well as ebay listings or prices from the actual website, you couldn't help the smile that spread on your face as you went through every single post, looking at the listings as well as the names and liking the ones you, well...liked, obviously. It didn't cross your mind that yourself and Matthew had been out about your relationship for the past 4 years and whoever ran the account would see that ‘(Y/n)_Gube’ would be liking their posts...whoops? You shrugged at the thought as you finally got to the end of the posts, and followed the account as a devious plan crossed your mind, an evil grin replaced the previous happy smirk as you got off the leather couch and bounced to Matthews office.
“Guuubbeeee~” you sang from outside the door with the ‘shave and a haircut’ knock. You could hear the rustling of Matthew as he put down his script, possibly his journal, what sounded like a few pencils and another book? (possibly his art book?). The oak door opened and you were met with a disheveled looking Matthew; hair sticking in every angle and matted, sweaty, but still smiling.
“Hey darling, you okay?” he asked, you gave out a laugh as you pushed Matthew back into the room and walked straight for the unopened window.
“You have to learn to open the window in this room Gube, remember last time?” you questioned as you opened the window, a nice gust of wind rustling the sill, curtains and loose papers as Matthew let out a soft sigh from the sudden coldness in the room.
“What? Me passing out? No not at all,” Matthew said with a laugh as he played with his shirt before sitting back down in front of his desk and picking up a blue colour pencil, you shook your head as your devious plan rolled itself onto its back in your mind.
“Gube, you said we would go for a walk when you finished the scene!” you huffed softly like a little child as the scratching of Matthews pencil came to a halt and he placed his head in his hands on his desk, your face fell. He was exhausted, “oh...babe,”
“Im sorry,” the small whisper came from Matthew as he rubbed his hands over his face, “Darling i am really sorry,”
“Oh sweets,” you mumbled as you padded softly to the man in front of you, your hands coming onto Matthews shoulders and rubbing the tension and knots out of them, Matthew groaning appreciatively, “come on babe, it's not too late; let's go for a walk to the park and get some ice cream” you kissed the side of Matthews head softly before going lower down his ear. Leaving butterfly kisses to the side of his neck, down his collarbone before giving a little nip and quickly kissing your boyfriend's cheek, his hearty laugh bubbling from his throat.
“Yeah come on, grab some shoes let's go to the park,” Matthew said happily as he stood up but you blocked his walk way, a cocked eyebrow was all you got.
“Can I wear your Coach Western Parka with fringe from the 2018 fall slash winter collection?” you questioned with a shit eating grin, Matthews mouth dropped open for a moment before closing, opening, closing and opening again as his finger came up to point at you, took a breath before clothing his mouth again.
“My what?” Matthew questioned, completely oblivious and confused, you giggled.
“That jacket you wore to the Horse Girl premier earlier this year!” your excited voice rang out, Matthew winced slightly with a laugh.
“Right, that one, of course! How could i forget” Matthew said with a laugh as he put a finger in his ear and wiggled it, “huh? I'm sorry? What? I can't hear you, my girlfriend made me deaf” Matthew said with a laugh as you giggled with him, giving a little ‘im sorry’ before Matthew shook his head and quickly picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and walking to your shared bedroom. Your loud screams of ‘GUBE’, ‘PUT ME DOWN’, and ‘TWIG’ seemed to go on deaf (pun definitely intended) ears as you hit Matthews butt softly, after a few seconds of Matthew walking (seemingly taking the long route to the bedroom) you started to just play with his nice rounded butt, hitting it like bongos while making ‘boop boop boop’ sounds. “You good back there?” Matthews asked, aliebt loud so you could hear what he was saying.
“Perfectly fine besides the dizziness of my blood rushing to my head!” you said with a laugh before Matthew finally got to the bedroom and placed you down on the shared bed, walking to the wardrobe he found the jacket you requested and threw it to you from across the room before the two of you started moving around the room/house; grabbing shoes, keys, purses or wallets as well as Matthew quickly shoving on a jumper he left from earlier in the day before heading out the door for a nice relaxing walk...plus ice cream!
-------
About a week passed since you asked specifically for Matthews clothing and since then you hadn't asked for them by name, just taking what you wanted because you knew Gube wouldn't mind either way, but as the two of you where getting ready to go shop in a few new thrift stores as well as the newly opened ‘The Smell Of Old Books And Coffee’ cafe; buy, read or rent books while drinking your favourite drink or cakes, only rule? You spill it, you buy it. You grinned as you swiped through that same instagram page before finally landing on something good, you liked the photo, read the title a few times and then closed the app and your phone and shoving it into your jeans pocket as Matthew walked into the bedroom.
“You ready doll?” Matthew asked as he put away a few of your stray shirts, you smiled.
“Yeah, can i just borrow your Vintage Tuak Canada Wool Sweater?” you asked with a devilish grin as Matthews face broke out in a smile too.
“Okay, what's up with you?” Matthew asked as he stood in front of you, “how do you know all these names suddenly that I can't even remember or know?”
“I have my ways~” you singed, “gray zip up sweater with what looks like brown snowflakes on it,” you said describing the jacket, Matthews eyebrows rose in confusion.
“Gotta give me-”
“You spilt orange juice on it when we went on a breakfast date in the winter two years ag-”
“YEP OKAY” Matthew said quickly, remembering the embarrassing moment instantly, you laughed as you put a finger in your ear and wiggled it.
“I'm sorry? Did you say something? I think my boyfriend screamed so loud HE MADE ME DEAF” you yelled at the end of your sentence jokingly as Matthew rubbed the sweater on your face, muffling your laugh.
“Blah blah!” Matthew said as you took the jumper and slid it on, zipping it up halfway before walking out with Spencer to the shops, your evil plan still dwindling in your mind.
-----
You waited another two, almost three weeks before asking for another article of clothing; this time it was for an radio interview for the both of you, ‘celebrities and their relationships: Matthew Gray Gubler and (Y/n) (L/n)!’.
“BAAAABBBBBEEEEEEE” your loud voice rang out from the kitchen as you heard the tell tale sign of Matthew footsteps moving towards you, his head popping out from a doorway making you laugh as his hair bounced.
“Wassup?” Matthew questioned.
“Can I wear your blue blue japan woven rayon MT. fuji & sakura fubuki short sleeve shirt?” you questioned, “jesus christ that was a mouthful i didn't even think i would get out,” you said with a deep breath and a laugh, Matthew was laughing too with that beautiful smile of his.
“You gotta tell me what shirt that is love,” Matthew said as he finally came to lean against the door frame.
“Blue shirt, you wore it in japan for your book tour,” you said with a grin, “cherry blossom petals-”
“GOT IT” Matthew exclaimed from the hallway as he ran to the bedroom, you waited a few moments and sipped at the juice you had in front of you before hearing Matthews footsteps coming back and into the kitchen with the shirt you requested.
“Thank youuu~” you kissed Matthews cheek on your tiptoes before pulling the shirt over your head and tucking it into your pants.
“You gonna tell me how you know the names of all of these shirts or still keep me in the dark?” Matthew asked as he fingered the collar of your (his) shirt.
“Imma keep you in the dark a little longer” you said with a sigh and sweet smile before Matthew rolled his eyes teasingly and beant to kiss your forehead.
“Alright fine, you gotta tell me soon though” Matthew mumbled softly, you kissed the man's chin as it was the only thing you could reach with his lips on your forehead.
“I will, promise” you said softly, “I just like messing with you, you know that,” Matthew finally released your forehead as you looked at him, your eyes beamed with love and mischief as Matthew smiled before tugging you out of the house and towards the interview.
-------
Again a few weeks past before you asked for another article of clothing of Spencers, this time it was for a cute little local carnival that the two of you agreed to go to, and you just thought this little number would be cute for people to see, so, you bounced to Matthew who was in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee.
“Oh no, did the body come back alive?” Matthew asked as he added sugar with a grin.
“Oh shit yeah, i had to uh, kill someone else cuz they saw me burying the other one” you said with a laugh, this was an inside joke of course and you two didnt actually kill anyone, Matthew laughed as he took a mouthful of his coffee and leant against the kitchen counter.
“Okay, what do you want this time my little duckling?” Matthew asked, the nickname made you grin wider at the irony.
“Since we’re about to leave for the carnival~” you singsonged as you cozied up to Matthew, him looking down at you with such love and adoration, “could i wear your Ralph Lauren Mallard Sweater?” you asked with a knowing look.
“And what sweater is this exactly?” Matthew asked as he kissed the top of your head and wrapped his arms around you, coffee cup still in hand.
“The ducks!” you happily exclaimed, Matthew made a ‘ah’ sound.
“Should've known,” Matthew laughed, “i'll go grab it while you pack the car?” your boyfriend asked, you gave a nod, kissed his cheek and bounced off to the car to start packing. A few minutes passed and of course Matthew came out with the sweater of your request, handed it to you, gave you a loving kiss against the car and then got in; driving off to the carnival.
-------
The two of you flopped through the door of Matthews ‘haunted tree house’, showbags, teddies and food tucked under each of your arms and a few bags in your mouth for extra space (Matthew had laughed when he asked where the last few bags would go and suggested a second trip but of course, you being you said two trips where for losers and simply opened your mouth, and of course Matthew didn't say no). The bags rustled as they where put down on the couch and you stood around for a little, taking in the day as you pulled out your phone and scrolled through the numerous photos you had taken; on the ferris wheel, darts, milk bottles, a few with fans (those made you smile the most).
“Why are you smiling at your phone doll?” Matthew asked as he somehow morphed next to you, you grinned.
“The photos from today,” you showed the photos on your phone to Matthew who giggled at a few and pointed into some others at peoples passing faces that he thought was funny, but, his laugh was caught short when you swiped across for another photo without realising that that new photo was of Matthews Cherry Blossom shirt, and it was an instagram screenshot.
“Babe whats that?” he took your phone as you protested against him, swiping for the piece of tech, Matthew swiped a few more times and sure enough there was more, specifically of the previous items of clothing you'd asked for in the passing week. He turned to you with a confused look, “okay, cats out of the bag, what's this?” Matthew questioned, you huffed slightly but agreed, the cat was indeed out of the bag.
“Okay okay, i found this account,” you paused and took the phone from Matthew and moved it to Instagram, “here,” you showed the account to Matthew who idly scrolled through the few hundred posts, “they came across my suggested page and i thought they were so cool,” you shrugged feeling slightly embarrassed, “they do a lot of research for what you wear and have and i think it's just a really cool thing that they do and other people also buy what you've worn and it gets those brands out to more people and all of that good stuff and...yeah” you shrugged, “i'm sorry” you mumbled.
“What? No sweetheart, don't say sorry, this is like amazing!” Matthew exclaimed as he brought you in for a hug, “this account is amazing,” Matthew reached into his pocket and brought out his own phone and found the clothing account, “‘Whatgublewore’?” he laughed, “that's one way to put it,” and with that Matthew followed the account as he handed back your own phone.
“You do realise the heart attack you're going to give that person who runs that account right?” you asked with a chortful laugh as Matthew had realisation all over his face.
“Shit,” he thought for a moment.
“Send them a message Gube,” you said knowingly with a laugh.
“RIGHT, yeah that would be a good idea wouldn't it?” Matthew said with a laugh and a smile as he brought up the messaging box.
‘Hello!
Yes this is the real Matthew Gray Gubler.
Thank you so much for this account! It's amazing that my fans do these sorts of things, it's slightly weird but weird is good. (Y/n) found your account and for the past few weeks has been asking for certain shirts, jumpers and sweaters with their exact names because of your account!
It's amazing that you've done this and I encourage you to continue.
Don't be afraid to message me if you get stuck, i can send photos of the tags and...stuff, lol.
Thanks,
Gube.’
“How's that?” Matthew asked you, you scanned the message and smiled.
“I think they’ll love it,” you said with a nod, Matthew grinned as he sent the message and turned off his phone.
“Well i think that's enough phone time for one day,” Matthew said he he plucked your phone from your hands amongst your protests, “how about we go up to our room with all the candy we've got, watch movies and eat ourselves into a sugar rush slash sugar coma”
“That sounds brilliant” you agreed as the two of you started gathering the candy into one bag (leaving the others on the couch for you to deal with tomorrow), grabbing a water bottle each from the fridge you always have stored (reusable don't worry) and headed up to your shared room to start binge watching...well, whatever you wanted really.
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moonlxss · 4 years
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beautiful | kingdom hearts
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Summary:  in which riku and mc share a intimate moment together 
Pairing: riku and mc 
Word Count: 1k 
Disclaimer: none   
Notes:  here is my attempt at writing something good.  there isnt a lot of dialogue in this story.  im still trying to work on that.  this will be my first kingdom hearts reader insert.  i hope you enjoy it! 
Additional note:  i lowkey cringed while writing this hnggg i must get betterrrr
Beautiful.
Anything could be described as such.
The sunset is Beautiful.  The light.   Its many colours traveling far and wide.  Honestly,  its somewhat inspiring.  Those colours go so far.  Farther then the eye can see.  It travels very fast as well.  Light is a Beautiful thing.  Helping those who cannot see.  Shining in the darkness.  Lighting the path and showing the way.  Its taken for granted.  Used for its marvelous power.  Fought over and stolen.  The darkness in peoples hearts...  Perhaps not even light can vanquish the darkness in those hearts.  However,  light could not exist without it.  Without darkness there would be no light.
But you already knew that.
Sitting alone on the warm sand while watching the sunset.  Feeling the sun's warmth wash upon him.  The last source of heat before it retires for the day.  It should be the moon's shift then.  The moon and sun both balance each other.  They balance each other out in a magnificent duet.  There was a time in his life where he didn't think it would be possible.
How Wrong he was back then.
Such a foolish boy.
The ocean's sounds welcomed him and as the sun sets,  he starts to feel cold.  Lonely even.  Do not get the wrong idea. Being alone is not a problem for him.  In fact,  it was nice to have some quiet time every once in a while.  Or even any time he gets.  And yet being alone right now,  getting lost in thoughts. He had the choice to go off and relax with his friends.  So,  why did he feel so...
Isolated?​​
"Riku?"
​​​​​​The sound of shoes crunching against the sand behind said boy made it through his ears.  Approaching him was a young women around the same age as him.  Yes,  her name is [Name].  And she has been traveling all her life.  It was impressive.  It was clear that there was a whole lot of other worlds to explore.  The journey of it all and the excitement of discovery is something she longed for.  Its quite the achievement she's earned.
Stopping by his side,  she took a seat next to him. Comfortable to be with the silver haired young man once again.  There were few times the two could enjoy each other's company without being interrupted.  Both being very reliable they often help their friends whenever they are in need of assistance.  Its not an issue,  of course.  Far from it.  Doing something nice or helpful for someone always pays off.  What a nice feeling that is.  Although,  moments like these were always happily welcomed.
"Its another lovely sunset today,  Riku.  Don't you agree?"
He looked over at her but she was still watching the scene before her.  The sun lightened her details beautifully and he couldn't help but feel as though he was falling in love all over again.  How precious she was to him.  Turning away from her,  he decided to give a short answer to her question.
"Yeah."
...
"Riku."
"...Hm?"
"You're very beautiful."
...
"...No,  [Name],  that title belongs to you."
There was silence.  And more silence.  The only sound being the ocean's winds and the palm tree's swaying softly.  It was somewhat unnerving but also peaceful,  strangely enough.  The quietness stretched through the sky for some time until-
"-Ngh!"
[Name] unexpectedly pulled his head to rest in the crook of her neck.  Arms slowly wrapping themselves around his body,  keeping him in place.  His body was uncomfortable and his face felt hot from the closeness of the two.  He can honestly hear her beating heart.  It was unusual for the her to make bold moves.  Neither of them would,  actually.  Being held so close like this still felt warm.  Just unusual is all.
"No.  I'm not that beautiful.  But you are,  Riku.  You are truly a beautiful man. "
...
Oh.
He began to let his body relax under her grasp.  Feeling comfortable to be this close to her.  Even calming down his heart.  Affection is still different to him.  Having been kept in the darkness and away from his friends for so long.  It really does a number to someone.  It takes time to get used to,  but everyone around shows great patience.  He's grateful for it all.  For everything.  
"I adore you,  Riku."
It was true.  Their feelings for each other went unnoticed by them.  Or at least,  that's what he thought.  In fact,  she had known about his feelings for her for awhile.  It was fun to tease him though.  How his face would turn even the slightest tint of red.  It was amusing and adorable.  She would never take it too far though.  A simple comment about how nice his hair is was good enough to get a reaction out of him.  As weird as it sounds.
Here is another case of mutual pinning.  Confessing now would make all this easier for the both of them.  There has been little time for things like this.  Little time for love.  Riku being (still) inexperienced with the Keyblade and [Name] always traveling the worlds.  Fights still must be won and there are many more mysteries to be discovered and solved.  It could sometimes be a bit overwhelming.  At least alone.  Who knows how many issues and problems they have to juggle on their own?  They are still young and managing what they can.  Not to mention that so much has happened.  It was a lot.
Riku let both of his arms wrap around her middle the best he can.  Wanting to make her feel safe and secure as she is to him at this moment.  This situation no longer bothered him anymore.  After all,  it has been so long since he felt warm.  [Name] and Riku had longed for a loving and warm embrace.  No one was alone anymore.  Not in this moment.  Nor for the rest of the night.  This won't last.  That's okay though.  Its okay to not worry about the future.  Being here together felt like nothing else matters.  And that is a beautiful thing about their company.  Its beautiful how important they are to each other. Truly.
"Thank you for everything,  Riku. "
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saltedstorm · 3 years
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* COURTNEY EATON, CIS FEMALE + SHE/HER  | you know MEREDITH AUSTEN, right? they’re TWENTY-FOUR, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, THEIR WHOLE LIFE? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to DREAMS BY THE CRANBERRIES like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole KETCHUP COVERED FRIES, MASON JARS FILLED WITH PAINT WATER SCATTERED AROUND THE ROOM, AND HANDMADE WIND CHIMES thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is JUNE 10TH, so they’re a GEMINI, which is unsurprising, all things considered. 
tw - organ donation & chronic illness
hey pals!! my name is bee ( 22, she/her ) and im excited to introduce my babe meredith.  please don’t hesitate to hmu for plotting, you’re totally welcome to message me here or on discord! ( god of destruction#5393 )  
okay here is mere!  i’ve only played her once before so i hope to develop her further here in irving!  tldr; grew up in irving, donated a kidney to her sister as a teen, now dedicates herself to doing what she wants and living life to the fullest, artist, waitress, loves the sea
p a s t
meredith grew up in irving with her mother, father, & older sister in a modest house on orion avenue. as a kid she felt trapped in the small seaside tourist town, but it’s grown on her.  now she could never imagine leaving.
from a young age she was always on the beach, running through the sunshine, surfing, snorkeling, & sailing.  
she always did fairly well in school, but she was always much more interested in the social aspect. 
when meredith was a teen, her older sister went into kidney failure after a long battle with chronic kidney disease throughout childhood.  she regularly spent time in the hospital as her sister received treatments.
at fourteen, mere was tested and found to be a positive match for her sister, and volunteered to donate her kidney to get her sister off dialysis.  they were able to get court approval for the surgery, and thus she became one kidney lighter.
having a single kidney may cause some people to live extra cautiously, but meredith and her sister had learned at a very young age how quickly all of life’s pleasures can be ripped away from you without warning so they made a vow to always live on their own terms and never deny themselves excitement or fun.  
when she graduated she had the option to go away for school, but she decided to stay.  she went to a local community college where she got a degree in studio art and hung around the only home she’d ever known.  
p r e s e n t
mere currently works at the scuba as a waitress and occasional bartender when they’re short staffed.  it’s not a dream job but she doesn’t mind it.  she makes good tips and she doesn’t take any shit from her coworkers or customers.  
occasionally she does work around town, she’s painted a few murals for local businesses & the community.  painting is her favorite medium, so it’s usually what you can find her doing if she’s not in the water.  
she’s often hanging outdoors whether rollerskating through a farmers market, swimming in the ocean, or sunbathing on her roof.  lately she’s also been practicing making cocktails.
currently lives in delphinus heights with rowan
despite being the youngest sibling, meredith definitely has big sister energy.  at a young age, she was placed in a sort of caretaker role when it came to her sister.  though she may not always initially come off this way, at her core mere likes to take care of people.  you need a place to crash for a few days? someone to drive you home bc you got too drunk? got in a fight? arrested? she’s got you.  she might just ring you out for it too.  it’s all out of love.
p e r s o n a l i t y
direct - meredith tends to speak her mind.  she is strong in her opinions, and isn’t usually afraid to share them.  she’s outspoken & proud.  this can get her into trouble, both with friends and authority.
playful - despite this, she tries not to take her self too seriously.  she likes to have fun.  she’s not a hardcore party girl, she’s much more into a laid back vibe.  watching the stars from her rooftop, bonfire on the beach, sneaking into somewhere she doesn’t belong.
loyal - mere loves her friends, and she would do anything for them.  a talk shit get hit kinda girl.  see the following.
stubborn - meredith likes her life, and she isn’t a big fan of change.  she’s afraid of losing what she loves, and can get very defensive when things threaten her routine.
p l a y l i s t
island in the sun // wheezer
dreams // the cranberries
to whom it may concern // sam spiegel
can you discover ? // discovery
three little birds // bob marley & the wailers
carolina // harry styles
kokomo // the beach boys
kiss me // sixpence none the richer
cool for the summer // demi lovato
margaritaville // jimmy buffet
upside down // jack johnson
p e o p l e
friends - her ride or die besties, new acquaintances, locals she went to school with, fellow artists, coworkers from scuba, regulars she serves all the time, people she parties with, etc!  we can discuss & brainstorm
roommate(s) - i imagine mere living in an apartment or a house with one or a few friends.  expect lots of plants, thrifted furniture, paint splatters, and mismatched dishes.
exes - mere has lived in irving her whole life so she’s bound to have some previous relationships & flings so gimme them all.  she’s also pansexual, so these relationships could be with anyone. maybe someone she was with for a really long time and everyone thought they’d be together forever but they broke up.  could still be amicable, could still have feelings, or could hate each other now.
enemies - meredith can be quite blunt at times so it’s probably made her a few enemies.  could be someone she just doesn’t get along with, someone that she’s pissed off, someone that fucked with one of her friends, etc.
romantic - any and all current romantic relationships too pls! maybe someone she hooks up with on occasion, someone who keeps trying to ask her out but she won’t bite, someone she’s had feelings for for awhile, etc.  again, we can brainstorm if you’re interested!
family - i’d love for her to have some family in the bay whether it’s siblings & cousins, or whatever.  i know her ethnicity can be hard to match so adopted or step siblings are welcome!  
& more!
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savoies · 4 years
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Old Exes & Current Lover's - Mathew Barzal. 
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Summary: Y/n and Mat run into her somewhat toxic ex when they are out and some new discoveries are made that bring Y/n and Mat closer.
Word Count: 604.
Warning: a somewhat toxic ex.
A/N: i picked february because we were not in quarantine yet, at least most of us weren't i think.
You and Mat had decided to go out for the day. Usually when Mat was home and not on the road you guys tended to do whatever as long as it was together. Today he decided that maybe it was a good idea to go to a small cafe to get breakfast then maybe walk around town for a bit. You both decided to get out of bed and get ready for the day. 
You both grabbed your coats and headed out the door. It was a bit chilly since it was mid February. You guys got in the car and all the way there held hands across the dash just enjoying eachothers company.
Mat parked the car a few blocks down from the cafe so you guys could walk and just enjoy each other's presence in the cold morning. You guys ordered breakfast and took your time in the somewhat empty cafe basking in each other's company and conversation.
After deciding on paying for each other's meals, since you don't really like Mat spending his hard earned money on you often. You both got up and excited the small breakfast place to move on to the next adventure of the morning.
While walking to the main area of the plaza you heard your name being called. You turned around and saw that it was your somewhat toxic ex. 
“Hey y/n is that you” you really hoped that he would just keep on walking and think he was mistaken but yet he keeped on walking to you and Matthew. As he approached you your hand tightened around Mat’s and he pulled you in protectively. 
“How  have you been?” he asked, good until you showed up you thought.
“Good.” you said trying to keep the conversation short and formal. For the next few minutes you guys talked which you thought was odd cause he was acting so nice. But next came what you didn't expect.
“Hey man im sorry youre going to have to call this girl your ex.” you ex told Mat suggesting that you guys were gonna break up or something. You squeezed Mat’s hand a bit tighter since letting go a while back when the conversation was still formal. 
“Good thing I won't have to, cause I want to to spend the rest of my life with her.” Mat said squeezing your hand back and excusing ourselves from the conversation saying you guys had to go.
Mat decided that maybe you guys should just head home since the mood of comfortableness kind of was taken away. It was true it kind of really was. There was no reason for your ex to say that. 
So the whole car ride was silent until you both walked into your guys shared apartment and sat on the couch. “So what you said back there, is it true?” you told Mat as you cuddled into his side for warmth.
“Yeah y/n I really want to spend the rest of my life with you, not right now of course but one day I do and I'm glad your ex said that cause that made me realize it.”
“I love you Mathew Barzal” you told your boyfriend as you pulled him in for a kiss.
“Can I get another kiss if I say I love you back?” Mat said a smile forming on his lips and you just smacked his shoulder. You were glad that you had that encounter with your ex, even though it was kind of intense it made you realize that you too wanted to spend the rest of your life with Mat.
lowkey ive been on a roll with writing and im proud of myself. ima tag a few people so this doesn't flop: @hartsyhart , @patty-cake-nolan , @mitch-slap .
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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years
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Experimental
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Summary: As a scientist, it was up to Changkyun to ensure the variables in this experiment remained controlled. The last thing he expected was to become part of the experiment himself.
Pairing: Im Changkyun x reader
Genre: vampire au / co-workers to lovers au
Warnings: a snippet of vampire sexual urges but it’s all really tame tbh.
A/N: The final week of Frightful October is here! Welcome to The Classics! Who doesn’t love a good vampire story, huh? And because I forever enjoy writing Changkyun and science together, let’s continue that trend here!
Word count: 4059
[Frightful October Masterlist]
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It all happened quite fast really.
One day, Changkyun was human and the very next day he was a vampire. Waking up in his new form had initially confused him. Much like Peter Parker in the Spiderman series, once the venom had run throughout his body, the physical attributes were the first sign to his change. Changkyun sat up in his bed, his vision increasingly sharper than it had been the day before. Rubbing at his eyes, he returned to staring at the curtains, letting out a yelp when the skin over his face started to feel overly hot with the stream of morning light hitting it.
Unlike Peter Parker, Changkyun’s changes didn’t excite him about being some amazing superhero with heightened abilities.
Instead, he let out a curse. An incredibly long, unintelligible string of profanity actually, dashing out of his room and into the bathroom with haste. He should have been more concerned, but he laughed incredulously as he swore again, no longer capable of seeing his reflection in the mirror at all.
And that was when Im Changkyun realised his experiments had adopted a very different variable that he hadn’t been prepared for.
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“Are you alright?” you asked when Changkyun arrived in the lab two hours later, glancing up from the microscope you were observing slides of the specimen under and frowning. “Your skin looks deathly pale.”
With another bitter laugh, Changkyun nodded, slipping on his lab coat and coming over to your side. He knew enough about the blood you were working on together now that he expected the burning before he even took a single step forward. But it was unimaginable how overwhelming it all got. He could hear your heartbeat, steady and strong. Your blood was rushing through your veins, flowing down forks and pathways at a rate he had never anticipated. He could sense your next slightest movement before you made it and you suddenly had a scent permeating off your body he had never smelled before.
It was so delectable, he could almost taste it.
Still, to you, Changkyun appeared sluggish, perhaps a little unwell. His sudden transformation overnight was unbeknownst to you and you merely smiled warmly at him when he was close enough.
Far too close for a newly turned vampire, he thought.
“I’ve been monitoring the slides you made last night and there have been some evolving cells in slide seven,” you explained, picking it up and placing it under the microscope. Changkyun had seen it before you had placed it down, blinking rapidly at being able to pick it up without the assistance of equipment. Still, he humoured you, stepping in front of the instrument and looked down into it.
Of course, there had been some improvement. The hybrid cells had formed thanks to him and the mishap he had last night.
At first, he hadn’t wanted to admit he had made a mistake. As the head scientist on this project, he knew more than anyone else about the impacts of the specimen you were working with. Whilst there was no vampire present in this lab – or at least, there hadn’t been until now – the blood was potent enough that if a single drop touched human skin, it would end up being a fatal experience.
And then you’d wake up a vampire, just as he had.
It wasn’t even that simple. He had been on the brink of discovery, focusing on the cell structure in slide number seven that was showing possible indications on how to duplicate it enough to create a cure. Whilst vampires only made up 5% of the world’s population, the primitive creature comforts of drinking from the necks of victims was now in for a modernised revision. There was a market for medical research, to help vampires live more comfortably alongside humans. No more sucking them dry or using up blood banks that were exploiting the not-so mythical creatures for all they were worth. Instead, they would offer a synthetic drug with components that allowed the vampire to exist peacefully in a world run by humans. It wouldn’t cure them completely, but if taken regularly, it would keep the carnal urges at bay, allow them to walk in sunlight and even share normal interactions with humans.
He had been so close with a breakthrough, only to taint it with his own blood instead.
Looking at the slide, he could see the cells had morphed, enhanced by his blood that it had absorbed. Essentially, he had fed the deprived specimen when his finger had slipped whilst working last night, and whilst he had been focusing more on himself and trying to not get infected, he had abandoned the slide’s immediate changes.
Now up close, it looked beautiful.
“I don’t know how such a change could have happened,” you mentioned with confusion, lifting your hand to rest on his upper arm as you would often do in the lab. However, he knew it was about to happen and stepped away before you could touch him, your perplexed expression deepening at his jittery behaviour. Your eyebrows knitted together. “You okay?”
“Just watch that slide for me. Do not touch it with your hands.”
You rolled your eyes. “Who would be dumb enough to do that? That’s why we have specialised equipment, Kyun.”
“Of course. I’ll be up in my office if you need me,” he mumbled, leaving you on the lab floor and taking to the stairs in the corner, hurrying up them and into his sanctuary. Once the door was shut, he ran a hand over his face irritably, soon pulling away to inspect his finger. The cut was gone, as he expected it would be but still, it piqued his curiosity. As a scientist, it was an innate skill to always ask questions of the problems presented to him. He couldn’t understand how he had changed into a vampire when his actual finger hadn’t touched the slide. What had been contaminated by the blood before his wound happened? The outside of his gloves? Your chiding answer repeated in his head, and Changkyun replayed last night’s hours spent in the office. He marvelled at the speed in which his brain functioned, the clarity of his memory now exceptional. It was as if he was rewinding through CCTV, finding the moment of his accident and watching it unfold in his mind once more. He had been using the equipment expected of his team. Although his attention was definitely not on what was happening around him, and that was where the fault lied. He recognised there was more than one slide infected, leaping up from his chair and raced down the stairs right as you glanced up at him in horror.
“Changkyun, slide four is empty!”
He already knew where it had gone.
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Explaining his mishap wasn’t something he wanted to do. Especially since he was now a vampire. He didn’t know what this variable meant to this team. Would you freak out and tell the officials? Were the past five years of his endless research about to go to waste now that he wasn’t effectively alive? Changkyun knew he couldn’t risk that, and yet he had no option but to let you know considering this project was as important to you as it was to him.
“You’re being really weird today,” you told him as he pulled you aside from your panic over the missing specimen, whining at his hand on yours. “Are you running a fever? You’re ice cold.”
“I’m dead.”
“Ha-ha, very funny, boss,” you replied, rolling your eyes. Changkyun didn’t respond and when you were done with your dry humour, you stared at him, unblinking.
“It was a mistake,” he mentioned weakly, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “I wasn’t paying enough attention and-”
“Slide four?!” you exclaimed, looking him up at down as if you would find a visible sign on him. There was already enough physical evidence before you, but it didn’t give you the clarity you sought out in your current state.
“Slide seven is contaminated with my blood,” he told you and then heaved a deep breath. “Slide four contaminated me.”
“You’re really dead?”
“Want to grab a stethoscope and check for the lack of beats in my heart?” he offered dryly but you had already grabbed at his wrist, checking for his pulse. You dropped his hand with a dramatic gasp when you found no living signs within his body and Changkyun sighed.
“You’re… you’re a vampire?” you whispered and he nodded. “Really? You’re dead?!”
“So now we have this established-”
“Oh my God, Changkyun, you can’t be a vampire!” you wailed, tears springing to your eyes. You appeared to be in mourning of his loss of life and for a moment, he softened, reaching out to pat your back gently. You glanced up at him through the veil of your emotions, your expression changing. You then thumped him on the chest. “You absolute idiot!”
“Was that meant to be an attack? It felt like a fly landed on me,” he mused and you growled at him, thumping him again. Chuckling at your now weakened attack on his body, he allowed you to hit him three more times before he suddenly took your hands hostage, quirking a warning eyebrow at you. “Now, don’t excite me too much, Y/N. We don’t know what my new skills can do.”
“I can’t believe how stupid you are. Of all the people, who preached on and on about keeping the experiments stable and safe, it’s you who gets infected. Are you sure you didn’t just do it on purpose? Oh, look at me, the scientist vampire!”
“Okay, that’s enough,” he grumbled, all humour evaporated as he stared at you darkly. “Accident or not, I’m still your boss. And this is my experiment I’m leading. We’ve just got a new variable in place now.”
“Instead of using slides, I can use you?” you offered sourly, folding your arms across your chest. “Here, you didn’t have a vampire specimen in the flesh before, now you can use me.”
“Are you done?”
“No, I’m still frustrated,” you admitted with a heavy breath, looking up at him soon after. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Well, I don’t know. My studies tell me that I should be okay until I’m hungry.”
“Which is when? Should I go get you some blood? I think we have some in the chiller. What type do you fancy? A, O-positive?”
It all sounded so unfathomable to him right then and he merely glared at your rambling.
“What? I need to keep myself safe too. Soon you’ll be telling me how delicious I smell and want me to offer up a wrist or something.”
Changkyun swore for the umpteenth time today. “You do smell better than any meal I’ve ever had.”
You gaped at his announcement, but he merely moved to the chair behind his desk, shaking his head. “But I’d be damned if I ever drank a sip of your blood.”
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Three days after his transformation, you had calmed down enough to see the benefits of having a vampire in the lab. Of course, Changkyun was concerned about the changes to his body and requested a full examination before your thoughts ran off with you. He did agree with you, advances on the research would be faster with his newly gained immortality. A test subject would be needed eventually, and this way he would be able to control the experiments on the subject since it would be himself.
Still, initial findings were needed.
“Okay, strip,” you instructed gleefully, Changkyun darting his focus to your wicked expression. “What, I need access to your body to get in-depth analysis, boss.”
“There’s no need to sound so exceptionally excited about it. There’s nothing major to uncover,” Changkyun grumbled, unbuttoning his shirt all the same. Your avid watch soon changed, the further his body appeared on display, the deeper the blush on your skin became. He smirked. “Or maybe, there is something to be excited over.”
“Who knew an overworked scientist would find enough time to hit up the gym,” you breathed, supposedly out of hearing. Though you realised his improved hearing had picked up on your admiration and you coughed loudly, turning away from him to gather your equipment and hopefully some more composure.
“What’s first?” he asked as he sat with his legs dangling over the edge of the examination table, and you turned far too quickly, his hand reaching out to stabilise you. He quirked an eyebrow at you. “Are you fit to examine me?”
“Get over yourself, of course I am,” you muttered, taking a deep breath. Staring up into his eyes as opposed to his naked torso, you listed off all that you wanted to check. The basic stats had already been kept on record since his change, Changkyun monitoring his own health. Of course, apart from the whole lack of a heartbeat and aversion to sunlight, he felt physically perfect.
And your findings supported this. “The x-rays show no abnormalities and your reflexes are off the charts. Sight is far superior than before and you aced your hearing exam. Only one thing left.”
“Ultrasound?” he concluded and you nodded. He moved onto the examination table again, resting into the back support that you had raised up so he could watch your findings. You wheeled the machine over and started setting up; now relatively quiet for someone who normally had a lot to say.
“Is it all becoming too much for you today, doctor?” he teased and you glanced at him, your expression vulnerable. Changkyun frowned, wondering what you were thinking of.
“Is it true about the uncontrollable sexual desires?” you asked softly as you gently dabbed gel onto the points of his bare chest that you would use to help the wand glide over his skin. You dare didn’t look up, but the rosy flush to your skin was enough to excite Changkyun.
Still, he shrugged in answer. “I’ve been a vampire for three days, what would I know about it?”
The truth was he was acutely aware of the multitude of urges of his new existence. Not only did he track your vitals constantly, but he had vivid fantasies over how he wanted to hear your heart rate spike from him bending you over the table behind you. He wanted to take you as his own and carry you through elicit passion until your human body could no longer continue.
Then again, Changkyun didn’t quite need to be a vampire to have sexual fantasises over you. He’d been having them for as long as he had known you, just not to the extremes they were at now. And he had never been bold enough to act on any of them.
He wondered how long he would be able to hold out on them now.
“I guess it’s another myth. We’ll have to cross it out of our studies.”
“There’s no need to be that hasty, Y/N,” he breathed, arching under the feather-like touch of the wand on his chest. He was annoyed that it wasn’t your hand instead; his desires now heightened thanks to your opening of the topic. Glancing away from your sudden look in his direction, he tapped at the screen. “I want a full study of my heart. That is the one area we need more information on. The findings we have suggest it’s the heart that stimulates the disease so let’s start with that.”
“Of course,” you answered firmly, picking up the task and expertly examining the inner areas of his chest. As you worked, Changkyun tried to focus on any findings of his own. Instead of his chest, he watched you. Were you comfortable with his new form already? You showed no fear towards him, that was evident. But could he trust that you would protect his identity from the higher-ups? That part he hadn’t quite figured out yet. He was prepared to close the experiment down if it kept you safe, and open a private case-study away from here to focus on ways to improve his condition.
But having you onboard had always been a requirement for his studies and without you, he didn’t know what he’d do.
“You’re right; I believe the vampire qualities stem from your heart. I’ll need to study the new slides of your blood cell count, but for now, I am seeing several abnormalities to your heart.”
Changkyun didn’t answer, too lost in staring at you. What more would he have to give up to have you stay at his side? He couldn’t be cliché and say he’d give up his life for you. That was already taken away. But could he exist away from you? His brooding intensified, so focused on his thoughts that when your hand touched his bare chest, he flinched, reacting out of instinct.
You were underneath him on the table in lightning speed, both arms pinned under the weight of his hands. Despite your wide stare, you weren’t frightened at all. He was breathing heavily over you, panting from the outburst.
“Changkyun, did you lie?” you asked softly, your dry swallow echoing in his ears. “It’s not a myth is it?”
“Vampire or not, desires about you have always been there, Y/N.”
“Will you do anything about it?” you hoped, lust surfacing in your gaze. He could take you right there and then. Fulfil all he wanted to, answer every craving.
Instead, he climbed off of you, shaking his head in rejection.
“We need to know all about how I work first. I’m not risking your safety just because I want you.”
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You had always been a hard worker, yet since the heated moment during his examination, you were further dedicated to your work. From the first moment you stepped into the lab, you were right to it, taking notes on the slides you were monitoring. You requested more examinations throughout the week, and barely stopped to eat lunch and dinner from being so consumed with your studies.
If Changkyun hadn’t been the subject, he would have been thrilled at your determination and work ethic.
However, he was growing concerned by the day. The discoveries made were all positive, but working so closely alongside you was giving him quite the headache. He was wrestling with his morals, the wickedness of his vampire side battling with the remnants of the human mind. He craved more of you as each hour went by.
It was soon the weekend and Changkyun had given you the day off, spending his own in the lab. The artificial lighting made him feel as if he was still able to function, knowing that he couldn’t join you in running into town to get the groceries since the sun was out. He realised even if you did love him back that your relationship couldn’t be normal now. No dates, not unless they were at night. He couldn’t just go out anywhere either, triggered by the slightest changes around him. Being relaxed and carefree with you was basically impossible.
When one touch from him could crush you.
The weather had turned by the time you arrived back, your clothes sodden as you stepped into the lab, heading for the kitchen to put away your purchases. Just looking at you heated him completely and he snapped the titanium instrument in his grasp in two as if it was a toothpick. You reappeared, gasping at his predicament, blood dripping from his hand.
“Changkyun, you’re bleeding!” you cried, dashing over and he backed off just as fast, pressing himself into the wall. He felt an imprint forming behind him but he didn’t care, watching you to ensure your movement stilled. Looking away to the blood on the table, you went to clean it when he hissed.
“Y/N, leave the lab, now. Go shower and change and I’ll clean this up.”
“But you’re hurt-”
“NOW!” he roared and it was enough for you to back off, turning on your heel and racing towards the exit. He could smell the change in your mood, frightened by him for the first time since he became a vampire. Now out of his sight, he slumped onto the floor, hanging his head.
Nothing could be normal between you as a couple.
The next day you didn’t appear in the lab, and Changkyun didn’t call you down either. He focused on watching over the four slides he had been experimenting with and not on the tears he would hear you shed from upstairs now and then. The weather was still storming outside, the sun nowhere in sight when he left the lab in the afternoon to retrieve a book from his room. Staring at the outside world, he felt compelled to walk out into it, smiling when the rain hit him. His skin didn’t burn or tingle, the sky cloudy enough that this world was safe for him to be out in. He didn’t know how long he walked for or how much he stopped and stared up at the heavens raining upon him, but when he heard your desperate cries behind him, he finally turned, noticing the tears in your eyes.
“Why are you out here?!” you asked, spluttering over your emotions. “Are you okay?!”
“I’m fine! The rain doesn’t hurt at all!”
“Really?” Sniffling back your tears, you stepped closer. “You’re fine?”
“I’m fine. It’s just the sun I can’t be out in!” He laughed, and you grinned, the shared moment easing some of the troubles between you both. You moved until your arms wrapped around his waist, firmly gripping at him so he wouldn’t push you off.
“I don’t want you to leave me,” you told him, pressing into his body further. “I can’t lose you.”
“It’s dangerous around me though, you saw how I was the other day.”
“We’ll figure it out; we’re both pretty good at solving puzzles.” Looking up at him, you squinted against the rain still falling upon you both. Changkyun angled his head enough so that the water didn’t fall onto your face. You beamed. “See, you just solved that problem.”
“You’re stupid for loving me, you know.”
“If it helps you any, I’ve loved you a whole lot longer before you became immortal, Changkyun.”
“Just don’t be like the typical female characters in movies who fawn over their vampire boyfriends like they’re something amazing. I’m still the quirky guy you’ve known since university.”
“I have to get a vampire boyfriend first and that’s been proving rather difficult,” you retorted, scrunching your nose up in disgust. “I basically threw myself at you and you denied me. Guess I’m too human for you now, huh?”
“It’s nothing like that,” he confirmed, cupping your face in his hand gently. “Though I do worry about hurting you.”
“Worse comes to-”
“Don’t finish that sentence; your heart has to keep beating.”
“Why?”
“Because it sounds beautiful,” he told you, leaning down to kiss you. It felt long overdue, the sweetness of your first embrace soon overwhelmed by a hunger that he was certain stemmed more from you than him. He was surprised by your eagerness, allowing you to call how long the kiss lasted. And when you pulled away, you grinned.
“You protect my heart and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you can walk in the sun again.”
“That sounds like an unfair agreement. Do you know how much control I have to maintain when I’m around you?” he pointed out, taking your hand in his. Then he held up your linked hands and shook them. “I could break your hand right now.”
“You won’t,” you assured with a smile and Changkyun rolled his eyes. “You know, I could work on a way to make you stop existing if you piss me off too much. Scientist, remember?”
“And am I now your biggest subject?”
“I guess you could say that. I need to open up a new case study when we’re back at the lab.”
“What’s it about?”
“How to be a human in love with a vampire,” you told him, smiling demurely. “Reckon I’ll find out all the answers?”
“I’m not sure,” he mused, leaning down to kiss you again. “But you have a lifetime ahead of you to find out.”
_________________
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notimetoblog · 5 years
Text
Unfair
Summary: She can’t  help but get frustrated at her inability to leave behind little love marks, but Bucky doesn't mind. After all, it is his birthday and spending time with her trying to solve this dilemma is all he could've wished for. 
A/N: Hi guys!!!! It’s been exactly one month since I last posted a fic and im so excited to be able to share this one with you guys!! It is my (super late) entry to the beautiful @sgtjbuccky ‘s challenge! I am so sorry Sal, for taking this long to post! Thank you, though, for being so kind and understanding! It’s also Bucky’s birthday today, so I knew I had to write something fluffy just for him! Thank you all so much reading and I hope you guys like this one. 
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It happened every time, and yet the little sounds of disapproval that came from her as she ran her lips across his neck, randomly stopping for a playful frustrated bite, always made him chuckle. 
She laid on top of him, both cozily surrounded by the mess of blankets they had not bothered to fix after last night’s pre-birthday festivities. Her warm body pressed so nicely against his as he wrapped his arm around her waist to bring her even closer. 
“It's not fair,” he heard her whisper, her breath tickling his neck as she found yet another spot on his neck. 
With furrowed brows she raised her head, staring back at him with those lovely eyes of hers. The morning light seeping through his parted curtains cast the prettiest of glows on her adorable pout. She was frustrated, and it made her even more loveable. If she didn't already have his heart, that little pout of hers would’ve won him over in a second. He couldn't quite remember what had officially made his heart hers, but that pout surely was at the top of the list — probably tied with the beauty of her eyes, the warmth of her soul, and the sound of her laugh. 
The happiness he was feeling at having her so close, feeling so wrapped up in her warmth, was evident in the way his lips so easily turned up into a genuine smile.
 “You already tried last time, doll, and it didn’t work.”
“I know,” she said slightly defeated, that pout of hers beautifully intact as she let her eyes roam his neck once more hoping to find the perfect spot. “Still doesn’t make it fair.”
He let his head turn to one side, giving her ample room to continue her exploration of his neck. The gentle pattern she was tracing on his neck with her soft, warm lips was enough for him to feel his eyes close on their own volition. The way her breath fanned across his neck raising goosebumps on their path had his breath quicken. She always had this effect on him. Always could make his already fast-paced heart beat just a little bit faster. Running a mile in less than 5 minutes barely had any effect on his breathing, and yet one simple kiss from her made him breathless.
And ever since she had discovered this little thing about him, their mornings would often be filled with this; her laying directly on top of him trying to find just one tiny spot where she could leave a slight mark.
Her discovery had come in the middle of an incredible night, one the Bucky often thought back to. He had let his lips and hands roam every inch of her body, had taken in those beautiful sounds he was bringing out of her, and he had playfully left a few marks where only he could see. Gently he had sucked a tiny bruise right below her collar bone, letting his tongue soothe and kiss over it, making her squirm much to his delight. With a challenging smile she had turned them over, finding the same spot on him but as she came up her brows had instantly furrowed.
“What?” he had heard her ask quietly only to have her bring her lips over the same spot again saying there for just a little bit longer.
“What’s the matter, darling?” he had asked after she had done the same thing three times, letting his hands continue to roam up and down her sides.
“It won't stay,” she had almost whined, bringing her lips back to the same spot for the fourth time. “It just disappears.”
“What disappears?”
“Wait, give me a sec,” he had heard her say as she found a new spot right below his jaw.
“You’re playing dirty, sweetheart,” he had chuckled as he felt her gently suck a new mark where most people would be able to see.
But there wasn’t a teasing look on her features. Instead one of confusion remained.
“Why doesn’t it stay?” she said a little louder this time, finding yet another spot.
“You haven’t told me what’s so confusing, doll,” he reminded her, turning his head to the side as she pressed her lips to various spots on his neck.
“The mark, Bucky,” she had said, frustration slowly seeping in her voice. “It’s there for like a second, and then it goes away. Look.”
With that, she had gotten up grabbing his hand and pulling him into their bathroom, the bright lights blinding them for a second.
“Look,” she repeated as she brought her lips to his neck once more, but his eyes had remained on her reflection. With the lights on, every inch that he had kissed was now on display for him; something she immediately noticed. “Focus Bucky,” she had giggled. Gently he felt her suck another mark, but as soon as her lips came up, he saw the slight bruise immediately disappear. “Why does it go away? I want it to stay, Buck.”
A chuckle had washed over him after he almost immediately understood what was happening.
“Darling,” he had begun, his arms wrapping around her waist to bring her close again. It hadn’t been more than a few minutes, but still, his body craved hers. “It’s the serum. You know how I can heal broken ribs in a few days? I guess I can heal your cute little marks in seconds.”
“What?” her voice had become scandalized. “How is that fair?!”
“I thought you liked the fact that I healed fast,” he had teased.
“Yes, when there are bullets flying in your direction, but not when I want to leave a little mark.”
“Guess you’re just going to have to try a little harder, doll. I won’t complain if you want to continue your study for a few more hours.”
And she had. Unwilling to give up she had tried her hardest but the serum, of course, wouldn’t let her succeed.
And now she once again laid on top of him, months later, her lips desperately trying to find just one spot that would succumb to her.
“You’re the worst,” he heard her whisper, her voice and the laugh that followed muffled by her proximity to his neck.
“I mean, you’ve only tried my neck, sweetheart. Who’s to say other parts of my body aren’t weaker?”
Her head instantly came up, eyes full of that playful glint he adored. He mimicked her expression, eyes playful, eyebrows wiggling, hoping it would be enough to lead them both to continue the fun they had started last night.
“I know what you’re thinking Bucky Barnes,” she laughed. “Keep looking at me like that and see what happens.”
“Is that supposed to encourage me to continue or threaten me to stop. Because I’m really excited to see what’s gonna happen if I continue.”
“Only one way to find out I guess.”
“It is my birthday today, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is,” she smiled, biting her lip in the way she knew made him go crazy. “Happy Birthday.”
“Guess, I’ll take my chances and continue,” he said, letting his eyes continue to gaze into hers with that playful glint.
“Oh, it’s on, Sarge,” she said as she let her lips crash into his with a laugh. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
His birthday was just beginning, but having her here, both taking their time to explore each other already made it the best birthday he’d ever had. 
----
Bucky Tag Club :) 
@camillechan @just-add-butter @buckyisthepuresthuman @carry-on-my-fandom @creideamhgradochas @sixweekcure4dreams @verycoolveryunique @dugan365 @jitterbuck @buckysmusculararm @headinthe-fridge @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @hedwigthelegend @sappybarnes @coal000 @the-whitewolfie @natcad @winters-beauty @dixonsbugaboo @sawdustandsugar @silverbvcky  @whyugottabsorude @theoutlinez @killjoynotes @agentpegcxrter @demonspawn2468 @books-movies-eternal @buckysbeech @thefridgeismybestie @lionheo04 @pinkfairyfluff @imaginecrushes @cauraphernelia @angieptt @fridolf-arach @nerdgirljen @bucky-is-a-hero-fightme @consttantina @titty-teetee @bfuckjames @crowleysqueenofhell @sebtrashcan-stan @jaamesbbarnes @heartssick @losemymemory @redstarstan @dracris33 @fuckthatfeeling @tamed-chaos @bringmetoawonderland @mlehbleh @mawimey @delicatelyherdreams @buckyswinterchildren @jaysaku @stanclub  @your-pixels-are-showing  @thisismysecrethappyplace @who-the-heck-knows @polaroid-idiocity @plumsforbuckxx  @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen @bambamwolf87 @ohhhotstan @whileinparis @sebbysstangirl @trashpandabarnes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @ohhhotstan @lokilvrr @freyjawalker @sebbybarrnes  @palaiasaurus64 @httpmcrvel  @piensa-bonito @until-theend-oftheline @awkwardfangirl2014   @mywinterwolf @all1e23 @teamcap4bucky @lokissoul @prettyyoungtragedy @suz-123 @buckyofthemyscira @kentuckybarnes @tropicalcap @moonbeambucky @hello-lucifer-here @sold-my-soul-in-2016 @ifyousayyouloveme 
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stoiicist · 4 years
Text
reyna sexuality headcanon. let’s go. (ps this got looong so undercut for your dashboard’s sake)
let’s start with young reyna. she doesn’t really have time to think about love or crushes. she hears about them in passing, on tv and in pop songs and from giggling girls at school. reyna doesn’t quite get why the other girls squeal and laugh when one of the boys come over and tries to hold one of their hands, but she laughs along with them because that’s what she’s supposed to do. she doesn’t get why as they grow older, her friends start to care more about what boys think of them than what their next math test is over, isn’t familiar with the feelings of butterflies the other girls supposedly get when one particular boy in the grade above them walks past. reyna does know, however, that she likes looking at the poster of selena that hylla keeps on her wall a little too much, but she tries not to think about that.
her life is kind of a huge shitty mess, ya know with the abusive father and demigod bullshit on her plate since she was like four years old, so if you were to ask her what she thought about love or if she had any crushes, she would just tell you that she’s too focused on school to think about those sort of things. even on circe’s island, when the other hairdressers spend hours talking about love and crushes long after the lights had gone out and reyna gets a better understanding of what love is supposed to feel like, it still doesn’t make sense to her the same way it does to the other girls. reyna tries to look at the boys and men who come to their little island the same way they do, but it feels forced and uncomfortable and unnatural. not at all like the other girls describe.
it’s not until a blonde girl around her age arrives on circe’s island that reyna understands what the other girls meant when they talked about their crushes, that flash flood of nervous excitement they mention every time something tall, dark, and handsome washes upon their shore. she is quiet and fierce-eyed and not at all like the other girls they tend to. this girl isn’t disoriented and cheery like them. she watches them with those grey eyes, both intimidating and distracting, and reyna finds her fingers fumbling as she tries to untangle her hair. 
the feeling in her chest is uncomfortable, as she watches the girl in quiet admiration. but the other girls never talked about girls like they talk about boys, so something tells reyna she shouldn’t share this little discovery with the other hairdressers. but she ends up not having to worry about that, because that girl helps that boy destroy her home and reyna never sees any of the other hairdressers ever again.
reyna knows she shouldn’t, knows hylla would scold her if she ever knew, but she sometimes catches herself thinking about that blonde, quick-witted girl anyways.
shit happens. she has to fight for her life again, so all that angst gets put on the back burner. she’s too busy grieving her home, her separation from hylla, proving her strength to lupa to even think about the blonde girl, much less try to sort out what it means for her. she arrives at camp jupiter and reyna is hoping to finally have some structure in her life. a place to figure herself out and figure out what she wants in her life. 
and then she meets jason. they butt heads at first, but they eventually grow to be close friends. they share similar views on their hopes for the future of CJ, a shared loyalty to new rome and their fellow demigods, and both often find themselves in position of leadership together. when they’re eventually made praetors, reyna isn’t the least bit surprised. but that only means more hours spent together, more sharing in struggles and job stress; their bond deepens significantly.
when reyna thinks about it, he’s everything she should want in a guy. he’s strong and brave and kind and he makes her feel less alone than she really is. but he doesn’t give her butterflies or the same captivated feeling that blonde girl on circe’s island did. but reyna tries to think of him as something more than her best friend. after all, it’s what’s expected of them. they’re co-praetors. that sort of thing happens all the time ( at least, that’s what people said ). in fact, she heard about it so much that reyna just started expecting it to happen one day. that one day, she would look at jason and feel that something and he would look at her and he’d feel it too and they would maybe kiss and that would be the beginning of the end. 
and then he disappears, in the midst of reyna trying to figure out her feelings for him. and that sure throws a wrench in things, doesn’t it, because it’s even harder to figure out her feelings for him when she’s missing him and she’s overworked and she’s worried about whether he’s even alive. it’s easier to confuse those feelings for romantic love, it’s much, much easier love the idea of jason, the idea of jason as her boyfriend, when the reality is nowhere near her.
and then comes along percy. reyna is tired to the bone, more alone than she’s ever been. she’s been running the camp for months, a job meant for two, surrounded by merciless senators and legionnaires prepared to devour her if she falters even a bit. it’d make anyone desperate for a partner. she offers the position of praetorship to percy, but because of what they talked about before with her and jason, it sounds like she’s offering more. she isn’t, really. she only keeps the option open to percy, because of what people expect from praetors, expect from her. he declines and reyna’s relieved, until the realization that she will continue to shoulder the responsibilities alone hits.
when jason returns, the way he looks at her doesn’t ever change and part of her is grateful for that, because try as she might, she can only ever look at jason, think about being in love with him, and feel like something is forced. like trying to put a puzzle piece in the wrong spot. she knew he needed to be in her picture, that just wasn’t the right place for him.
she meets jason’s friends, obviously has a lot of conflicted feelings over that because there’s that blonde girl again ( her name is annabeth ) and how can reyna be sure this isn’t just the effect of charmspeak ( or maybe piper’s always this alluring ), but then they fire on her camp and they’re enemies on the battlefield so that puts figuring everything out on hold again. sometimes the thoughts creep into her head at night when she’s alone and she’s tired and she wants to think of anything but the war they’re fighting. it usually doesn’t make her feel any better.
a part of her has always known, not in explicit terms, but just knowing that something was different about her. the sneaking suspicion that all the romantic indifference she’s ever felt towards men had to mean something, she just wasn’t sure what. for a while, she thought she just wasn’t interested in romance at all. that she was one of those people that would be alone forever with a couple dogs, or maybe live with her best ( female ) friend and be happy about it.
and then she talks with nico, because there isn’t really any hiding anything when reyna can feel all his emotions wash over her like a tidal wave, and he talks about cupid and his recovering from that and coming to terms with it, and reyna’s like why the hell does that sound a lot like me...
and then there’s no denying it, or talking around it, or trying to explain away the feelings she’s had since she was young. she’s a lesbian! she’s gay! and it feels good to finally have a word for it and daunting to wake up the next day knowing exactly who she is and what she wants and comforting to know she has a group of friends who will do nothing but celebrate this with her. :^)
i could probably write a shit ton more but this is so goddamn long and i need this out of my drafts anjfdnfkf so yeah here’s like the mainverse closest-to-canon lesbian reyna hc i got for ya. if you read this im sorry about your eyes
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salvatoreinatux · 5 years
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5, 10, 11, 27 (pride month questionnaire)
pride month questionnaire. || accepting
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( now, i’m not going to do this in order, for reasons. i’ll explain below.  )
10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?
some supportive idols i have in mind would be ruby rose, and arielle kebbel. they are LGBT activists, and they give awareness to all the LGBT community.
11. tell us about your first crush?
i can honestly say, i don’t really remember what he was like. i met him in kindergarden, and i thought he was the cutest thing ever.
27. any tips for heterosexual people on how to handle lgbtqa events/news?
well, for those who oppose the community, i’d say they should ignore it, and stay away and not ruin everyone’s fun.
( putting next question under read more for triggering content )
5. share a positive memory about coming out!
to be honest, i have no positive memory about coming out. the term ‘coming out’ altogether makes me uncomfortable. we didn’t come out, we were FORCED out. at the time my partner had an abusive alcoholic aunt, who apparently absolutely hated me when i had done nothing wrong. when i moved up from florida (where im originally from). i had escaped my abusive narcissistic mother, who viewed everyone else over me, thinking i’d have a better life with my partner. i was wrong. at time i had no job, no income. i was known as a leech for the longest time. i had always considered her parents MY parents. never had i ever been wrong.
after a while, things had been becoming more tense around the house, which evidently revolved around me, when i didn’t even know. it all started to crash down when i had made a simple ‘joke’ towards her mother, turning it to pure hell. her father had already hated me at the time (which i didn’t even know), and thought it was a personal act out of manipulation, when it wasn’t. i considered him a father, when i had disowned my biological one. i was crushed. a few days before that, we had all gone to an even called ‘battle days’, thinking it would be fun, but it wasn’t. yet again, i had made a simple joke towards her ‘sensitive’ aunt, who threw it out of proportion, causing the whole trip to become miserable. and of course, her father took her side, over my partner and i’s. when we were on the drive home, my partner had a massive fight with her aunt, sore words being thrown at each other. nothing but anger filled the car. i began to ball and yet again, it was seen as pure manipulation, when it wasn’t. her father ended up breaking down, and turned to me and said “thanks nay”, for ruining the trip. when we got home, my partner went up to her parents room when i stayed down stairs and balled my eyes out. i felt like shit and i felt like i had ruined everything when the trip should’ve been fun. that night, i took one of the box cutters sitting in the garage and slit my wrist. fun trip, right? this happened three days before my birthday. my partner eventually told me how her father saw ‘evil’ in my eyes. they thought i was crazy, so they hid everything that could be considered a weapon.
things in house seemed to have dulled down, (or so i thought), making it seem as if we were a loving family. her parents being mine. i loved them so much, and it absolutely killed me to see them so hurt. on the night of october 27th. 2017, her aunt had pushed us to go to a haunted house which was right next to her house. when we went in, we were excited and spooked out and having tons of fun, we even ended up having hot coco on the way out. my partner called her father telling them we had been done, and to pick us up, hearing yelling and crying on the other side. on october 28th, we had found out they had had found damning evidence, as to what our relation was really like, placed in a drawer by the bed, placed by me. we later found out that my partner’s aunt’s cat had ran into the room, and they had gone in to find it and saw that the drawer had been opened. i woke up to my partner screaming they had found the stuff we had hidden, causing me to bolt up out of my bed. she ran up stairs, and as i followed after her, i heard them yelling at her and her breaking down crying and telling them she was ‘in love with me’. thus starting the abuse, lasting 6 months.
her mother is extremely diluted in her Christianity, distorting all means of ‘love’ that was out of her norm, and of course, against gays. she had told my partner she was ‘obligated’ to love her considering she was her daughter. my partner turned to her mother saying “doesnt god say we have to love one another?” and her mother flat out told her “i don’t have to love that ‘thing’.” after that, nothing was to be the same. i was confined to one room. before shutting me away in the garage, besides the bathroom. i wasn’t allowed to go upstairs for ANYTHING, not even for a glass of water. she absolutely despised and tried to ignore my existence. my partner had to go upstairs and get me my food, considering i wasn’t even allowed to eat upstairs. on thanksgiving, everyone came over, and of course, i wasn’t allowed to go upstairs, so i decided to drug myself with sleeping aids just to not hear the laughter and joy.
forward to december. the beginning of the month was terrible. there usually comes a little santa parade that passes by our house, and i was SO excited to say something, but i had to watch from the garage, like a neglected child. towards the end of the month, my partner sent me up to michigan to spend christmas with my ‘mother’. which was absolutely terrible. with everything else going on, i had a fight with my mother and she ended up disowning me, causing me to spiral out even more, and nearly killing myself with alcohol poisoning.i had never wanted to end my life as much as i did those crucial months, needless to say, we both had suicide attempts. fast forwards to new year, it was just about to turn 12, i had already been incredibly fucked up, beyond consciousness. i had about 4 or 5 shots of different types of whiskey, had beer, and champagne, and had even smoke some weed with random strangers. with everything that had happened to me, i couldn’t care less about myself, which resulted in my partner becoming incredibly angry. i had several terrible thoughts such as, wanting to harm myself, because i wanted the pain to just stop.
eventually, my partner finally achieved her license, and gotten herself a car, and her aunt ended up being kicked out once her parents had realized who she truly was. an alcoholic monster. things began to pick up, i had gotten myself a job, and began to pay bills. things have gotten better between her parents and i. but we are still struggling to get out of the house, but it’ll take some time.
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millionsoftea · 5 years
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Novel prep tag!
I was tagged by @thatfizzyyyy :)
FIRST LOOK
1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences
Syphus City is a city that has humans, immortal humans and not-humans called the Enhanced among its ranks. Enhanced follows a immortal human, a mortal human and a group of Enhanced as they find out why all that has happened has. (im so bad at descriptions and its so hard for me not to go into detail so im sorry if this is bad XD)
2. How long do you plan for your novel to be?
I think about this a bit but probably not as much as I should?? I honestly don’t know how long this story is going to carry. I’m not sure if it has the potential to be a duology or just a singular novel? I’m really not sure.
3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?
Stretching the human body using technology. Busy cityscape. Thick forestry. Chaos. Running.
4. What other stories inspire your novel?
It’s kind of a play on different types of media, but I’ve altered them so it’s not a complete copy. The game Detroit: Become Human is a definite inspiration, with the concept of not-humans finding themselves and becoming human, and The 100 (Season 3 in particular) is what inspired the AI bit. Along with all the other stories to do with Androids/AIs/Robots finding themselves :) I’ve made it my own story, and I’m really proud of it :)
5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel
Scroll through my blog and you’ll see the moodboards I’ve done for the main cast XD 
MAIN CHARACTER
6. Who is your protagonist?
Matthias Cosgrove  but i guess miya and reacon could be considered main characters but anyway that’s not the point
7. Who is their closest ally?
The people within his group, but he’s definitely more closer to Vavien and Miya more than anybody else.
8. Who is their enemy?
Now that would be spoilers now wouldn’t it ;)
9. What do they want more than anything?
to stop fighting and running and to have a beer To find out what caused the pretty much collapse of Syphus city.
10. Why can’t they have it?
Because the group is on the run from the police and going closer to the problem would result in being caught.
11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?
A party boy can’t save the world. Somebody that is his polar opposite can’t form a relationship with him. Girls in general just don’t want a serious relationship. This is just the general consensus. 
12. Draw your protagonist or share a description!
I can’t draw to save my life XD Cosgrove is 6 feet and kind of well-built. He’s got messy blond hair and blue eyes. His skin should be more tan due to the amount of time he spends outside, but he’s pale. 
PLOT POINTS
13. What is the internal conflict?
The answer to 11 and responsibility. 
14. What is the external conflict?
Figuring out how to stop whatever’s happening and being nice to people he should be nice to.
15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?
One or more of his friends die when he could’ve prevented it.
16. What secrets will be revealed that changes the course of the story?
More spoilers ;) it doesn’t have to do with Cosgrove though..
17. Do you know how it ends?
No clue. As I said, I’m not sure if there’s potential for a sequel, which will change how it ends.
BITS AND BOBS
18. What is the theme?
Self-discovery. 
19. What is a recurring symbol?
Hmm I’m not really sure. I guess false security?? Is that a symbol?? Probably not XD 
20. Where is the story set?
Enhanced is set in the city of Syphus, which is the capital of the world Syphus. Although the majority of the story is set in Syphus City, the forest outside the city and an adjoining city (maybe more so town), Oakvale, are also prominent settings.
21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?
I do actually! I’m always thinking of new scenes XD but this particular scene will do a lot to confirm two character’s relationship or maybe I should say romantic connection.
22. What excited you about this story?
SO MUCH. Enhanced excites me so much. I haven’t felt like this about a wip since I finished my last major project which was a few months ago now and I’m so excited!! :) I guess that I always thought I wasn’t into sci-fi, but with a touch of my own and seeing how cool sci-fi can be, it’s exciting!!
23. Tell us about your usual writing method!
Oh you guys are gonna not like this XD I don’t really plan. I write down ideas that I’m scared I’m gonna forget, but I have no clue what’s going on most of time. I just start with a base idea and see where the story goes! 
This tag was so fun and got me thinking!! I tag:
@bodoramzap @writersloth @annaalexiswrites @oceanwriter
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that-lemonade-witch · 3 years
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Hii ☺ nice to meet you !!!! I don't know why j chose you but I really want a help from you . Believe me I have never asked for tarot guidance personally like this ever in my life . This is the first time and I have chosen you to ask . I'm sorry about that 💜. Right now I'm confused between what to choose from architecture and biomedical engineering . I jave thought of every way to chose one but it gets harder and harder . Can you guide me as to what to chose ??? Please . Like in which ill be successful and happy 😕. Please . Im so grateful for the help 💜💜💜
Good evening,
I feel honored that you chose me for your first tarot reading! ☺️ ✨ It's great to meet you too and I hope you find this reading helpful! First of all, kudos for being interested in two awesome STEM fields! I totally understand it can be hard to choose, especially in STEM there are just so many cool things going on out there.
For your reading I pulled the Knight of Swords reversed, the Page of Swords, and the Eight of Swords reversed. All swords! Lots of intellect and logic happening here, which feels fitting for the question.
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Knight of Swords reversed: You feel inspired when making quick decisions. Or, in contrast, you may prefer to not feel pressured to make quick decisions. Reversed cards may be understood in different ways as extremes or lacking. The Knight of Swords generally represents speed, ambition, and quick thinking, so reversed may be too quick, inconsistent, or sluggish. Think deeper about what situations make you feel inspired, if you like working under pressure or in more calm and contemplative ways.
Page of Swords: You find energy in your curiosity and intellectual interests. Your thirst for knowledge drives you. You have a lot of curiosity, it's up to you to explore and determine which field calls to that side of you the most. Beware of being too impulsive though, take your time both in decision making and in your studies. You'll probably find no matter which you choose that you'll have lots of interesting thoughts and conversations you're excited to share with others.
Eight of Swords reversed: You love feeling unrestricted and looking at things from new perspectives. Also, when considering your options, don't blindfold yourself by hiding or burying your intuition (gut feelings, deep emotions) about the decision. Be true to yourself and how you feel about things.
Also consider the deeper reasons for why you first became interested in each field. What experiences or discoveries stood out to you? Do you feel like there are external expectations that you're trying to meet? Is your family or close friends pushing you towards one over the other? I pulled two extra cards, the Ten of Cups reversed, and the Four of Wands. Both of these have themes of family and community but are giving opposing feelings. Always remember, stay true to you and what you're interested in. What are your expectations for you?
I hope you found this reading helpful, don't forget to send feedback 😊 ❤️
I wish you the best in your studies and finding what will be the best fit for you 😄 Also, it's never a permanent decision, you can always change course if you realize that you don't like the path you're on. If possible, take a few courses in both fields to get a better feel for each. Also, if you ever want to just chat STEM things, feel free to reach out ☺️ I think it's super cool that you're interested in architecture an biomed engineering and would love to hear how it goes! (I'm in chemistry btw)
~ Lemonade 🌙
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medamoiselle-blog · 6 years
Text
2017 in Review
I read mdA’s year in review and wanted to use her template to reflect on my year, too. 
1 - What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?
Hung out with a group of friends and slept over without worrying about all the studying I’d have to do that weekend, went to a classmate’s/friend’s wedding, signed up to take Step 1 (omgomgomg), went through a messy break up, traveled to Europe by myself, rode on a train for the first time! (which actually took 6 hours instead of 4 because something was wrong with the train and they had to fix it halfway through the journey), killed a spider, read Lolita, went on a vacation for Spring Break, completed a project and wrote a research manuscript from start to finish, went to the Weeknd’s concert!  2 - Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont remember if I made any resolutions last year...I usually don’t. But, for this year, I am going to continue doing what I have learned to do these past few months: 
1) focus on myself more (my health, my fitness, my happiness) 
2) get rid of toxic people and distractions in my life 
3) study for and do well on boards 
4) No more social media until after boards 
3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4 - Did anyone close to you die?
No. 
5 - What countries did you visit?
Some European countries, Mexico, Japan.
6 - What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
Better, more supportive friends. I used to hang out with a group of gunners (they literally wouldnt share resources because they ‘dont want other people to do well on boards’ and didnt understand why that was upsetting to me). I distanced myself and I’ve been happier.  7 - What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 14th, went on a spontaneous quick trip to Japan mid semester and learned most of renal phys on the 15hr plane rides to and from Tokyo. Stayed at the Disney resort and had a magical time. 
8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Taking care of my mental health, getting to know myself better, submitting my manuscript for publication. This year was full of ups and downs and many firsts, so I’ve learned a lot and have gained experiences that I value very much. That’s an accomplishment to me.
9 - What was your biggest failure?
I stopped running a few months ago, but I plan on getting back into it before this semester starts!  10 - Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, nothing serious.  11 - What was the best thing you bought?
I bought myself a ring and I absolutely love it! I love the way it looks on my finger and like wearing it. 
As for practical things, I bough an iPad Pro and now that’s all I use to take notes, study, etc. I don’t use paper anymore and it’s really nice to have all my material in one place.  12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?
All of the women and men who shared their stories using #MeToo. My parents for putting up with me and taking care of me when I visit, physically and mentally tired. The one student in our class who shared his struggles with suicide and depression in an effort to help others.  13 - Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?
a lot of politicians...people trying to take away net neutrality, Trump and his tweets, the ex who told me [after we’d talked about doing residencies in the same hospital and how many children we wanted, etc.] that he wouldnt be introducing me to his parents or be able to marry me because I wasn't Egyptian and his mom wouldnt approve [Boy, bye], the mom who tried to exploit money using a bullying video.
14 - Where did most of your money go?
BOARDS. Who knew it was so expensive to schedule board exams...*le sigh* Also, a lot of money spent on resources...*le cry*
15 - What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I woke up to the first snow of the season and I could not contain myself!  16 - What song(s) will always remind you of 2017?
The Weeknd-Staryboy  17 - Compared to this time last year, are you: I. Happier or sadder?
A little bit of both...sadder and more stressed in some ways, but happier and more content in other ways. Overall, I’m in a good place. 
II. Thinner or fatter?
Thinner.
III. Richer or poorer?
Poorer. 
18 - What do you wish you’d done more of?
More dancing. 
19 - What do you wish you’d done less of?
Social media.  20 - How will you be spending/spent christmas?
Hung out, made and ate xmas dinner, and enjoyed great company <3 
21 - Did you fall in love in 2017?
No, i thought I did at some point tho.  22 - How many one-night stands?
1
23 - What was your favorite tv program?
The Blacklist. 
24 - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yeah.  25 - What was the best book you read?
Both Nejma and Salt by Nayyirah Waheed were great reads.  26 - What was your greatest musical discovery?
Dua Lipa.  27 - What did you want and get?
A ring, cute Timberland boots, an iPad Pro w an apple pen, an A in neuro (neuro is our most difficult system, it’s a 6 credit hr course with a lab, and I was scared to take it. But, i ended up really liking it!) 28 - What was your favorite film of this year?
I haven't been to the movies in years. I prefer Netflix/Amazon prime and watching from the comfort of my bed/couch. 
29 - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 23. I studied for an exam, but got to celebrate with my family 2 weeks later. Lots of good food and cake!  30 - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had the wisdom I have today at the beginning of this year (2017) haha 
If people were kinder to each other. 
31 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?
scrubs 90% of the time. business casual or professional 5% of the time. Leggings, sweaters, sundresses, boots/heels, long dresses, etc. 5% of the time.  32 - What kept you sane?
family, Netflix shows, shopping, traveling.  33 - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Pietro Boselli *heart eyes*
34 - What political/social issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare equality, DACA/immigration issues, net neutrality
^ Im going to keep MdA’s answer because yes!! 35 - Who did you miss?
My maternal grandmother who's been dead for 6-7 years now, but I still think of her some times. Also, my best friend who’s moved to another state for grad school.  36 - Who was the best new person you met?
I became closer to someone in my class this past year and I love hanging out with her. She is always so cheerful and optimistic. I love that about her. 
37 - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:
Trust your intuition and don’t settle. 
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Alex was arguing with Armageddon about me being alone and in danger. So he was all,rammed and determined to get me by the end of the week if nothing stood in his way.
So he didn't.
I felt so bad and kinda guilty and really glad/excited he got hurt... Like... Idk. I was all "im just gonna pay attention to you while you heal" that's how I self explained my happiness at his misfortune.
Not realizing he was hurt because he loves me with determination and stubborness against Armageddon's Government. Like me. He was like me being exiled at age 19 of my very first life. That's why I was happy and excited.
This morning Steven Torrence asked Alex Laughlin what he felt about giving away Saint Luches.
So he used an alternative answer to what he wanted to say. He said the truth but not the simple truth
So ill write it for him because the reason is because he didn't know how to explain the simple truth and it would be complicated to only say half.
So he just said "it was fine and makes life simpler" which is true.
But he feels "I'd love to keep Saint Luches forever and to become hermaphrodite and fuck him forever along with everyone else, but Sabrina and i discussed it often and at length in the summer of 1999 when she lived in Okmulgee. So we half heartedly decided to go with the original intention of Armageddon and we asked them what it was and they said exactly as we knew and so we thought then it was best So we asked Armageddon's opinion which gave us all our options then said they would also prefer it was the original intention of them as it would help them to prepare for Armageddon's change and discovery. So now in 2020 after 21 years of all work and waiting we've done i would love spending time with Saint Luches in a bed but it's better to have him go to a New home and life wife before we had him as a husband again. Its emotionally safer and I'm thrilled to death for him to begin his new life so soon and to be happy again and have part of his mystery solved. I love him more than life itself sometimes so I'm extremely pleased he's well on his way to not being lonely with someone hes compatible with. I know from experience having that one person you know you're supposed to be with for life makes all the difference in the world in the terms of happiness and how to control yourself and i know he's going to be better off than we can imagine"
I know he will. She will too
His original soulmate was left in Armageddon and rematched so there's no issue there.
Then he was matched to us
And now to her.
So her original soulmate she had for 14k years had met someone he fell in love with this lifetime.
Probably because Armageddon (they have 3 Gods) Female Goddess had decided to make that change to the original only 2 people per pair except for hermaphrodites which is 3 (one singular gender to remind them not all are like them in gender) or 2 pairs of hermaphrodite soulmates which share each other for procreation and joy.
A hermaphrodite here is someone like me that would have been exiled from Armageddon. So they changed it and made sex better instead of punishing.
With Only Alex i have the same amount of sexual feeling as a hermaphrodite. Not nymphomania but the having 2 sexual organs to fuck with. So it's like I have a Dick and pussy orgasming at the same time.
So my sex with Alex Laughlin feels better than my sex with Saint Luches or Jesse or Mark...
The Goddess granted these things.
Other lifetimes, the last lifetime it was better with Jesse Tony Jamison.
And initially before his death, it was only slightly better with Mark.
After it became 10x greater with Alex than I've or Ang human has even felt on this Earth.
Which I deserve. I do believe. But that is kinda sad for y'all and i don't ever wanna know what that feels like again!!
Eventually i will, tho, its only to make up for the years I've missed with Alex.
In about 50 years it will be 10x less than it is now, so we can populate the Earth naturally with like 40 kids per pregnancy. Per 8-9 months.
Incentives. They're reincarnated so they will come out all adult like. Like me, potty trained and ready to live as an adult in their own houses.
Which is why i have a palace.
So for 50 years ill be having sex ev chance i get. So don't mind if you live your own life and i fuck mine away, because i won't.
The ten times greatness is for all soulmate pairs tho. And every one for eternity will feel the 4 sexual organs a hermaphrodite feels. During 2 partner singlular gender sex.
So everyone thank Goddess Armageddon!!
Im Goddess Earth and Alex is King Earth. We will have a God to pray to for our upkeep God Tree of Knowledge and Eternity.
So when you say goddess or God you'll think tree. Who will be all over the Earth and you can speak to in person.
Queen Elizabeth II and I are/will create rulers of small communities with the assistance of the Tree.
Not all God trees will be the same. Some joke, play pranks, are emotional, more protecting. Like people. Their own individual personaloties based on 4 of my original Earth soulmates and myself. So 5 types.
We have 19 different Astrological signs not based on birthdays.
We have predictions based on birthdays.
So that will change.
12 original from Armageddon, 4 gods, me and 2 like the parent gods from Armageddon.
What happened was... 2 soulmates had Armageddon as gods. Their son about to get his soulmate ane planet got impatient and recreated himself as human to destroy Armageddon in anger for not having his own soul and planet.
2 other planet gods were pregnant with their baby his soulmate and he got angry it wasn't now now now.
So he was given Earth as a reprimand. See why I'm ao mean???? I had to help raise that boy. He was a spoiled brat.
So now as he's finally allowed the right thing to continue and occur. He finally gets what he needs
His own soulmate and world where people like Matt Hagan are and Matt is. Obama will go also.
Anyone that shrank to child size around Christmas is his to keep on his planet.
So we got our kill and torture list to fill his planet from here. :)
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