#In which Zenyatta beats me the fuck up

[kakusu-shipping]

The Fight

Trying to pick up the pace a little bit, but I'm not very good at writing action so this might be a bit clunky. Please excuse me.

Mountain's Peak (Part 1)

Nepal Sanctum (Part 2)

Talk it out (Part 3)

In which we let it all out

Ramattra found his brother exactly where he expected to; Tucked away on the highest roof top of the Monastery's temples, an old withered place few monks visited simply for the egregious amount of single wide stairs clearly poorly placed by the original builders.

"Brother Mondatta is looking for you," Ramattra spoke with no worry of startling his brother, positive Zenyatta had already sensed his approach at least three levels down. The fact that he hadn't run was a good sign.

"He can look a while longer.." Zenyatta replied, relaxing from his curled up position to allow his legs to dangle over the edge of the building.

Ramattra sat himself down beside his brother, taking a moment to appreciate the view. The sun was setting, stars had started to dot the soft pink sky. From this high up, one could truly see on into forever if they desired to.

"You hit the human..." Ramattra finally pressed, giving a glance to Zenyatta, who curled back in on himself slightly.

"I did."

"You said you would only use what I taught you in self defense."

"I did not use what you taught me, dear brother. I used my fist."

Ramattra couldn't help the slight chuckle hearing his elder defend himself so sharply released. If he could still shoot back, then he couldn't be all that tore up about what he'd done.

"Mondatta will expect an apology when we finally return."

"I did nothing to him." Zenyatta once again uncurled himself, his legs once more dangling over the building's edge as he relaxed into the flow of conversation with Ramattra.

"To the human, Brother."

Zenyatta released a loud, dramatic sigh noise, clunking his head into Ramattra's shoulder. "I would rather be placed on cattle clean up for the next 7 years."

Ramattra chuckled once again, "And I would love to assist you with such chores, but that is not Mondatta's way."

"No... I suppose not..." Zenyatta's voice softened as he once more pulled his knee to his chest, placing a hand on the ground next to Ramattra for balance.

Ramattra found his hand placed gently over his brother's, keeping his sensors locked to the stars as he leaned his head atop Zenyatta's.

With the sunrise the brothers would make their way back down to the village, they'd catch Master Mondatta on his way back from his morning meditation, when the monastery is silent and the human is still asleep. Zenyatta would give his apology, and be given laundry duty in return, with Ramattra would happily assist with despite Mondatta's preaching on how one must face their misdoings on their own.

That would all come tomorrow. For tonight, the two sat peacefully on the temple roof top, hands intertwined in a painfully human way, counting stars until the sun arose the next morning.

That stare made everyone in the monastery uncomfortable. Bright red eyes that only ever saw the monks as who they were, what they had been made for, how they'd failed or succeeded at a task that had been forced upon them.

It was sickening.

Across from Zenyatta stood the human, shouldering off thick layers of cloth and robes and scarves until only one remained, tied tightly off at his waist by a cream orange cincture belt. He then removed the thick, straw woven snow boots Mondatta had made for him, stepping bare foot into the chalk drawn circle of the training area, holding his hands up in a ready pose.

He'd kept his eyes locked on Zenyatta, not in a glare of malice, or even his usual annoying fascination, but a neutral look that challenged him without words.

Ramattra's hand grabbed tightly to the back on Zenyatta's upper robe. He was shaking. He was going to stop this.

Zenyatta shoulder off his brother's grasp and the robe along with it, leaving him in only his pants and the red cloth he'd kept tied around his waist.

Stepping into the ring, Zenyatta stood wide and placed his palm against the human's, keeping their gaze locked.

"If you win, I'll leave. Permanently. And I'll tell every human I meet they're not welcome here." Emile spoke evenly, despite the rapid pulse Zenyatta could feel coming from their freezing fleshy hand.

He tilted his head in amusement, "And what will you get if you happen to win?"

This was the sort of confrontation that would usually draw this particular human to tears, so it was quiet the shock to see him hold together while speaking. "You can decide that when it happens."

'When' Zenyatta thought on, wrapping his fingers around the human's small hand. It was cold, and soft, and easily crushable in even the flimsiest of Omnic hands.

"Usually a match is called when one is forced from the ring, but that feels a touch too easy, wouldn't you agree?" The human nodded along with Zenyatta's proposal, "So we keep going until one of us taps, agreed?"

Zenyatta watch the human give a small nod once more

And then kicked them as hard as he could right in the stomach

Emile flew out of the ring, scratching to a stop along the stone flooring. He hacked and coughed, gripping onto his stomach. If he'd eaten anything for the past few days he surly would have hurled it up.

"Get up." Zenyatta spoke from the ring. The human did as commanded, pulling himself up on shaky legs. He did not glare at Zenyatta for landing the first blow, he did not look on in fear for how much stronger his opponent was, he did not bask in awe at how mighty a kick it was. He kept his neutral expression.

And that pissed Zenyatta off worse than anything else.

Blow after blow, the human continued to get back up. Even after he'd started spitting up blood. Even after his glasses were shattered on the stone ground, rendering him near blind. Even after he'd stopped being able to feet his fingers in toes in the cold and after his arm stopped moving and after his ankle had made such a horrible crack and swollen to the size of an orange.

And even after Zenyatta still stood perfectly pristine.

Emile hadn't landed a blow on his opponent. Zenyatta was starting to doubt he was even trying to. Had he even raised his hand once to the monk? Had all he done was stand there and take Zenyatta's blows?

Zenyatta clenched his fists, "Get Up." He demanded, as he had over and over again, to the human laying still on the stone before him. "Get Up and Hit Me."

Emile's form shook as he pushed himself up with only one arm, his white hair dangling before his face, tips red from his own blood. As commanded he got up on shaky legs once more and looked to Zenyatta with those red eyes that pierced into his history, a history he'd been trying so hard to ignore, to hide and run away from.

"Get up." Zenyatta demanded again after landing a hard hit right into the human's nose. It was broken for sure.

Emile did as commanded.

"Brother, that is enough-" Ramattra reached to grab Zenyatta, to put an end to this, but stopped inches away.

"It's not enough..."

The human's voice was ragged, breathless and broken and shaking. He sounded on the brink of death.. He very well might have been.

"It's not... enough...."

Blood mixed with tears down Emile's face, big wet eyes stared at Zenyatta, making the Omnic hesitate.

Ramattra wouldn't dare touch a human, but he made a motion like he was going to either way, "Human you cannot take much more, please just call it-"

"I CAN'T." Emile's voice cracked, he coughed, and took a step just to keep himself from collapsing, "I can't... it's not... enough... yet...."

The human but his hand on his wrist, and Zenyatta found himself mimicking the motion. His finger tips touched delicately at his exposed arm wire, one of many fragile pieces of himself he'd been forced to show to the world after nearly loosing his life before coming here.

He could still feel the human's cold finger tips on it...

"it's not... enough... to... ma...ke up.. for what... i..."

His body was too heavy, everything hurt, and the world was spinning.. In his last few moments of consciousness Emile braced himself for one more cold embrace from the stone steps of the battle field..

And instead found warmth...

[blackbackedjackal]

After over 1000+ hours tanking and 400+ healing I decided it was time to give DPS a try. Been having some good games on Pharah and I play a lot of D.Va/Winston/Lucio so I’m used to being sneaky and flying around the map.

So I go up against a new account last night. I used to be fairly cautious of smurfs but after learning their tricks unless they’re legit T500 or hacking I usually can figure out a way to beat them. Basically was getting 3-4 kills on this person for every one death on my end. I wasn’t even intentionally focusing them, they just kept being out of position which are easy kills on Pharah. 

After the like 3rd or 4th time I sent them back to spawn they said “ok jackal it’s on” and I’m like FUCKKKKK cause now I have to deal with someone who’s salty and focusing me. I swear, they spent the entire rest of the game flaming in general chat every time I killed them. I had gold elims most of the game because of this fool, and it’s not like I had a pocket because my healers were both grounded so I had to either find health packs or come down when it was safe. Their other DPS focused me a few times and this fool was thanking their DPS in general for killing me a couple times, which prompted my tanks to hard focus that person so I could keep working 😂

Anyway, we go three rounds on Oasis. The last round I was Mei/Reaper for a bit but that wasn’t working and the 2 times McSalty finally killed me was crouch spamming on my body. Again, I had lost count of how many times I sent this person to spawn at this point and they were specifically counter picking to counter me so I was like ‘eh fuck it’ and went back on Pharah. Our Brig switched to Zenyatta and clutches the point when they had 99% progress and we had 0% on the last map and we hold it to 99% and win. 

I didn’t say shit until the end of the game and dropped a “you were saying?” in general because I had enough of homies BS the WHOLE game. Which they then proceeded to say “your team carried” and “im butter than you” (yes butter) and I was just like “deal with it” and that was the end of it lol.

Idk how DPS players will buy 20 accounts, and then get mad for losing ONE game, but all I’m saying is playing tank and healer makes you smarter than the average DPS player, and it makes other DPS very angry.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

you ever wonder the thoughts that went through the other heroes’ heads the first time each hero ulted?

Like, Torb just straight up goddamn nuts molten lava EVERYWHERE

Hanzo unleashes giant dragons in your general direction, good luck motherfuckers

Genji goes full on power ranger beast mode

Bastion turns into a tank, and only a cute little noise alerts you to the coming of death

Zarya summons a goddamn black hole, temporarily

Mei uses her cute robo companion to bring about the second fucking ice age

Lucio uses a dubstep drop to shield his allies

REinhardt is a futuristic soldier in rocket-powered armour that lets him slam that rocket-powered hammer so hard he pulls a Scrat from ice age and takes you out...

Ana, a super sniper healer, uses something that’s probably future!meth to amp up an ally for a short period of time

Zenyatta explodes in the physical manifestation of new age music and yoga instructors everywhere, using universe juice to heal and relax you

Pharah aggressively flexes rockets at you like she’s a one woman asteroid belt hitting the atmosphere so fuck you, specifically

Sombra blows out your iphone, and apparently your ability to defend yourself while she shoots you to death

Winston goes full-on Mom-Took-the-Xbox-Away Tantrum for a short period of time, and can beat the shit out of you... to death

The fucking hamster from space has the ability to fling bombs around in a minefield

Soldier:76 goes straight-up Get LMAOBox, Git Gud with his little internal aimbot there

Brigitte goes full on armour-clad cheerleader at a pep-rally, raising team spirit and health bars

Mercy used to just glide in like a necromancer and bring the dead to screaming life

Ashe calls her butler

Symmetra magics up a giant forcefield that just goddamn disappears in all directions so you start to think it’s worldwide or something

Baptiste just short of hurls up a wall that makes all your punches and projectiles hit waaaaaay harder, and that’s why he’s the most sane hero so far

Mccree squints at you while yelling about the time, then you die

Widowmaker plays peek-a-boo in the most tactical manner, and you start to winder if she can use that ability when, say, you and the other heroes are showering...

DVa is already living in the year 4000 with her tiny pacific rim cosplay taht whe can yeet at enemies when ready to blow

Orisa the giant robot horse attaches you to a mild performance-enhancing taser

Tracer slaps the world’s worst ‘Kick Me’ sign on your back and throws herself into the past,

Junkrat weaponises a fucking tire at you, which he also pilots through telepathy or some shit

Roadhog murders you via recycling scrap metal... 

Doomfist launches himself into the stratosphere like a character from INJUSTICE doing a special move, then launches himself like a comet

Reaper and Moira go full on anime-protagonist in the final battle, with their moves

????????

[audvidis]

OWL MVP Top Five Review

so its about that time....  the first ever owl mvp will be decided in a matter of weeks by public polling. things are heating up, and there are many players who at least deserve the chance to win.

“but wait aud!!!!!!!!” you say, “i dont fucking know who to choose!! please help!”

fret not, person i made up, i will go down the top five players, describe their backstory, and why they’re up there and why you may want to choose them...

heads up: im gonna try to give arguments for both voting for and against these players, so dont get mad at me.

Number One: Lee “Fearless” Eui-seok 

Backstory: Fearless was the team leader of Element Mystic from 2017 APEX season four to 2018 OW Contenders Korea. Element Mystic, if you didn’t know, is one of the strongest teams in korea right now, with the DPS s9rkp1e as one of the best non-OWL DPSin the game. for this reason, he was chosen to be the main tank for the Shanghai Dragons on February 14th 2018.

Why He’s MVP Material: fearless has shot up the rankings after weibo votes from cn fans were added to the MVP pool, and while its partially true it’s because he’s easily the most fashionable and handsome in the league, we cannot forget that fearless is also a pretty strong main tank in his own right, even though his team has yet to land a win. however, you could also argue that because he hasn’t won yet, he doesn’t really deserve to become MVP.

Number 2. Kim “Geguri” Se-yeon

Backstory: Geguri was originally a high-level player solo-qing the ladder, before former player and current caster Akaros recruited her as an off-tank for her team UW Artisan. she played with them in qualifiers for the Nexus Cup, an early high-level tournament. During a match against the team Dizziness, her high sens and a camera glitch caused members of the team to accuse her of aimbotting. After violent threats and an on-camera performance, she was cleared both publically and by Blizzard Korea. However, soon after this, even after her team was bought out by a Chinese company and became EHOME, Akaros injured her shoulder so severely that she could no longer play professionally, and Geguri left EHOME soon after. However, she was picked up by the pro-gaming company ROX for their APEX team, ROX Orcas, for APEX’s fifth season. While they beat out other teams for a spot in APEX group stages in offline qualifiers, ROX Orcas went 0-3 in round robin, and soon dissolved, releasing all players. After this, she became LFT, receiving many offers for OWL before deciding on Shanghai Dragons, following her friend Ado.

Why She’s MVP Material: geguri is easily one of the most well known korean players in overwatch’s short pro history, and has garnered many different fans from all over. for a long period of time she was number one, with only the addition of weibo votes upsurping her number one spot. i’ll be completely honest, i’ve been a fan of geguri since UW Artisan, and i have a lot of respect for her and her playstyle. she’s really shown herself within the shanghai roster, and works well with her teammates. however, there’s also reasons people would not choose her because she bullies me her team still hasn’t gotten itself a win, which can be chalked up to the sudden mid-season roster change.

Number 3. Kim “FLETA” Byung-sun

Backstory: Fleta joined the APEX team Flash Lux, a team known for always making it into group stages, beating other teams in offline qualifiers, but always faltering, never getting into playoffs and going 0-3 frequently. Fleta proved himself to be one of the most promising players on Flash Lux, but could not carry his team on his back. However, in late 2017, Fleta was picked up by Lunatic-Hai, which would later become the team known as Seoul Dynasty, where he would truly shine.

Why He’s MVP Material: fleta is the perfect underdog story. he came from one of the weakest, underperforming APEX teams, then became the star player of the Seoul Dynasty. he’s probably gonna have some sort of movie made about him, however, his team’s been struggling the past few stages, so that may factor into your decision. 

Number 4. Bang “JJoNak” Sun-hyeon

Backstory: JJoNak is a relative oddity to the scene, as he had no prior team experience until joining New York Excelsior. He was known on Korean ranked for his skill on healers like Zenyatta and Ana, joined a few amateur teams here and there, would’ve played with LW Blue had they not dropped out of APEX Season 4, but is an outlier for having really no prior team experience. 

Why He’s MVP Material: jjonak is probably the hardest player to play devil’s advocate against. he’s revolutionized the way that people on ranked or even in overwatch in general have played zenyatta, and probably has helped give his hero more visibility than previously. however, you could argue that ark gives jjonak a lot of his ability to deal damage without relying too much on healing his teammates.

Number 5. Chon “Ado” Gi-hyeon

Backstory: Ado was one of the DPS members of the team MVP Space, with members such as KuKi and Closer, where the team made relatively good results, losing to Runaway in APAC premiers. Ado and Geguri have been friends for a while and duoed frequently with him on streams. Ado ended up trying out for Shanghai Dragons, leading Geguri to follow in his footsteps.

Why He’s MVP Material: ado has shown himself to be a DPS able to go toe-to-toe with multiple high-level players, even though his team hasn’t won yet, with plenty of flashy dragon blades. however, a lot of the same issues with fearless and geguri apply to him as well. 

[kiryuva]

who likes superhero aus.

because that’s what this dream was about.

i was in this primarily white outfit and had forming psychic powers. we only knew this because i somehow read Percy’s (@mysteryprof) mind about fucking monsters “with lorge teefies and cronchers” to the extreme.

i apologized because i did not intend to read his mind, and he was confused as to what i was talking about, so i told him about how i accidentally read his mind about fucking some demons and dksjdn

IT WAS A MESS

even though i didn’t need to read his mind for that.

i could also make Kat (@katzcratch) levitate.

i felt so useless, because i couldn’t really control it? it happened randomly. but i managed not to read anyone elses’ mind or move things with my mind. i think.

Kat had fire powers and had a red colour theme, Tune (@sinkingwithallmyships) had water powers and had a blue theme, and Percy lightning and was yellow. if i could draw their outfits, i would, because they looked really cool!

we ran into Sentai!Genji who had saved a kitten from a tree and also had been looking for me? i don’t think he ever elaborated as to why.

eventually we met Pink!Mercy at this really nice superhero / Overwatch base? she and Sentai!Genji warned us about a major threat, but it was cut short when an explosion happened?

then we were fighting Cultist!Zenyatta? Rime!Sombra, Dragon!Symmetra, and Cyberninja!Hanzo? they were the bad guys apparently.

at one point Kat did this really cool inferno attack, but Rime!Sombra made ice to make fog cover the entire city / base we were fighting in?

no one could attack Cultist!Zenyatta because he had dark powers and just deflected everything. 900 IQ Cultist!Zenyatta plays.

it turns out i had strong psychic powers but i couldn’t control them, so i was basically useless. Sentai!Genji appeared to help fight and Pink!Mercy helped heal us all but Rime!Sombra, Cyberninja!Hanzo and Dragon!Symmetra were very strong, so it was rough.

sometime during this i had to fight Cyberninja!Hanzo and i was just ksfjsjd no. I can barely be in his proximity, how in the world could i fight him. who approved of this, there is no way i’m about to fight this Mortal Kombat looking gkdkfjsk

i

was over it.

he looked at me for a split second and shot an arrow, but it narrowly missed me by like, a millimeter and instead targeted Tune who was near me.

it was like, that scene in movies where the bad guy clearly has the easiest shot to kill someone — usually the main character or some good person — but just narrows their eyes for a split second, shifts their attention and then attack something else?

that was Hanzo.

i don’t know why.

Tune shot these cool water slashes at him and was backflipping fafsgaffd both of them were at each other’s throats and it was really entertaining to watch. unfortunately i couldn’t do much.

fkskdj everyone was so cool, ahh.

but Rime!Sombra froze me and gave me to Cultist!Zenyatta? because he wanted to take my psychic powers to add to his? or something along those lines. she hinted at something but i can't recall. 

he also tormented me that entire match and kept blocking me from moving or doing certain things which was so frustrating.

Cultist!Zenyatta plagued my mind with the darkest thoughts and it was actually super horrifying. so much to the point where it got really dark gkdndnd

meanwhile Percy was fighting this insane match with Dragon!Symmetra. there was lightning, lightning being deflected, duplicates of her being made, reconstructions of lightning, and just rfghrd

so much was going on.

Pink!Mercy told my friends she’d do what she could to help, but then everything went black?

i woke up in this weird dungeon / restricted area so i couldn’t move because i was kept to this machine that was very high-tech, but prevented me from using my powers.

THAT I COULDN’T USE.

i remembered screaming because Cyberninja!Hanzo was keeping guard and scared me because i hadn’t noticed him, also because he was in the shadows of the room? i guess he watched me while i was out or something because he was staring at me and

it was very scary.

he looked so much angrier than usual, so i was even more intimidated. i didn’t know where Cultist!Zenyatta or the others were so hoped i could devise a plan, but Cyberninja!Hanzo was not having it.

he said something like, “Your efforts are futile. You will die here.”

NEJFJD AND I WAS LIKE?? WHO? WHERE? sir, i’m sorry, that is NOT CORRECT

i asked him why he didn’t shoot me when he had the chance, but he never answered my question, and instead told me to remain quiet. i was like fkdksjd i would fight you if i could. not really because you’d probably kill me, but i’d try.

gkfk NO, i asked him, “Why let me die here? You could’ve killed me earlier.” because what would be the point of me dying now and not earlier?

AND HE DIDN’T REPLY

he’s dumb

this is dumb

i hate this

Cultist!Zenyatta came with Rime!Sombra and she froze me trying to get something out of me? while i was already restricted? i can’t remember, because Cultist!Zenyatta started to hypnotize me with his orbs and dark psychic energy was everywhere and fkdjd

THERE WERE TENTACLES AND I FKSJD THIS WAS NOT THE KIND OF DREAM I WANTED EVER

GET ME OUT

i think they were illusions??

but then? Cyberninja!Hanzo was like nope and just knocked Sombra unconscious and paralyzed Cultist!Zenyatta somehow. so Dragon!Symmetra fought him and almost beat him, and here i was still slightly hypnotized not knowing what was happening.

Percy came through i assume a portal and shot lightning at her and did a really cool combo attack with Kat, who also appeared, but then Jester!Junkrat, Blackhand!Doomfist and Hellfire!Reaper appeared and it became this huge fight.

Sentai!Genji primarily fought Cyberninja!Hanzo and Cultist!Zenyatta, while Tune and Kat fought against Hellfire!Reaper and Blackhand!Doomfist. there were so many combination attacks, screaming, explosions, abndbbdhg

i remember waking up with Pink!Mercy and Forest Spirit!Orisa in this safe-haven forest protected by mystical energy and them telling me how everything was fine and how everyone had been healed, but how Cultist!Zenyatta was still after me.

Cyberninja!Hanzo was in the same forest some distance away, but Kat, Tune, and Percy were also nearby and in good health.

i went to thank him, but he rejected my thanks, and i apologized, which he also didn’t like? i tried to say something else, i can’t remember, but he ended up standing up, glaring at me, and then walked away.

tkskdj LIKE FINE HANZO GEEZ

we recovered but i went to Cyberninja!Hanzo again and asked him if he was OK, please don’t ask why, and if he hated me — but then Kat shot a burst of fire at him? fkdkdj SHE WAS ON 10, she didn’t trust him at all and was really agitated that he helped kidnap me in the first place.

they almost fought, but then Pink!Mercy and Forest Spirit!Orisa calmed everyone down.

Sentai!Genji told Kat that Cyberninja!Hanzo protected me while i was unconscious during some part of the fight that i was unconscious / hypnotized? i had no idea what happened. so he could be trusted, and other stuff.

but Kat was not having it.

Kat asked him why he didn’t kill me, too. fosjjdnsdb he looked from her, to me, stared back at me, then looked away.

ANFJSJ AND THEN KAT WAS JUST, “Oh. Nevermind. I know why.”

SO I ASKED HER AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ME WHY. I WAS SO LOST AND UPSET SKFJSNDN

i ended up going with Tune to train and then Sentai!Genji came to help us. but Pink!Mercy advised me to have someone with me at all times.

tjjsjd AND SENTAI!GENJI WAS JUST, “My brother can protect her. You can trust him.”

AND I SAID??? WHHH? WHO???

this man fkdkfj no, why not Kat.

but Cyberninja!Hanzo didn’t decline? i was so lost. Kat opposed it the proposition, but Percy attempted to see the pros and cons of it? but after talking, Kat said she’d watch him at all times and stuff even though now he was my guardian or something dumb, i don't know.

then i got a headache, passed out, and then i woke up.

[cakeblankett]

Wait, more about me? (part 1)

Well, what else is there about me? There's a lot about me though, I'm just shy hehehe. Okay, the normal things people would say about me would be foodie and gamer. Those are the main things I usually do. I eat a lot and I love playing games!

The GAMER side of me

I know, it sounds so edgy. You know especially with that black and red themed stuffs hahahaha!

Usually I enjoy single player games. I love action and adventure games where I can just wander around, level up and get good swords and weapons and then kill some big ass boss. My current favourite game is Witcher 3, it is a hella good game. It was on the Steam sale for quite a long time but I kept hesitating and not buying it. Until one day I decided, fuck this, so I bought it. I got all 3 of the games but I'm only playing the third one. I'm still playing it right now and it's really really awesome. Like any other games, my first play through will be sort of a speed run, where I will just do the main quest and ignore the side quests. My next gameplays will be doing side quests, finding secrets and stuffs. I do this for all the games I play.

Next genre, I would say hack and slash. Bayonetta and Ninja Gaiden. My top hack and slash games ever. Bayonetta is a fast paced game and she's sexy as well. Lots of button mashing but it's great. The only thing I would complain is that after completing it many times, I'm only playing it for the sake of the gameplay instead of the storyline. I didn't understand anything about the story though. Ninja Gaiden on the other hand, a simple storyline but the gameplay is awesome. Cutting through enemies, beating the hell out of them. I played all of them in the Xbox and 360. On PC, they finally released the Master Collection (which I think they should have named it the Master Ninja Collection) and well, it's fine. The Sigma versions are kind of a diluted version of the vanilla. Ninja Gaiden Sigma wasn't so noticeable, it was okay. Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 was the most disappointing one ever. I hated every level of the game. Still managed to complete it though. Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge is the same as the one I played on the Xbox 360. Note that I didn't talk about any vanilla Ninja Gaiden 3. (We don't do that here)

2021 is when I completed one of the hardest games I've ever played. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. I would say it's the fucking hardest game I've ever played in my entire life. At first, I was like 'wow! Another hack and slash! Just like Ninja Gaiden!' Oh, I was totally wrong. If you think Ninja Gaiden or Bayonetta was hard, play Sekiro. I rage quitted on the very first boss for almost an entire year before going back again and managed to beat him. And in that month, I managed to complete the game. The deflect mechanism was totally new for me. It was really interesting though. I was so bad at it but I had some practice with Bayonetta's witch time. It's quite similar but the timing for deflect is way stricter.

I'm not a fan of FPS or online games to be honest. I just don't like playing with people. I just want to enjoy my games on my free time and rage at myself not at others. But if I were to play online games, I only play Dota 2 or Overwatch. Sadly Overwatch hype was dead, I spent so much time playing Mercy and yeah sure, you can call me a one trick pony. But you know, the great monk Zenyatta once said 'repetition is the path to mastery'.

So that's all about the gaming side of me, what I play and what I might review in a few months or years? Oh yeah, I'm a PC gamer because I don't have a console. There's one at the living room but I didn't contribute any money to it so I don't care what's gonna happen to it. My PC was built with my savings and the sale of my old PC so it's 100% mine.

[alexiela73]

How would Reaper, Hanzo, McMcree, and Zen react to their s/o giving them a silly nickname? I keep calling my mains McReap, McHanzo, McZen, and McMcree just sounds funny.

Reaper: 

One day you had stared at him, lost in thought

The two of you were going over some paper work together

Reaper could see you watching out of the corner of his eyes

You didn’t say anything, but your eyes looked distant

Finally giving in, Reaper put down his papers

“What are you thinking about that means you can’t work at the same time?” Reaper growls, trying to sound like an ass

But you know he’s just worried, so you just wave it off .

“Nothing in particular,” you murmured. “I was just thinking…you gave me a nick name, which is kind of an odd thing for a man as grumpy as you to do.”

“So…I want to give you a nick name too,” you said, smiling brightly.

For a moment Reaper could only watch you in disbelief.

“…That’s what you were thinking of.”

“Yup,” you said cheerfully. “It might not seem important but it really is! It shows how close we are together.”

Rolling his eyes, Reaper growled in a husky voice, “Do you know what else shows how close we are together? Getting hot and-”

“Nicknames,” you said seriously, giving him a look. “We’re talking nicknames, not sex.”

 “How about Grumpy? Like one of the seven dwarves from snow white?”

Reaper snorted, wondering why the idea of a nickname amused you so much, when sex was much more pleasant and was nicer on the tongue.

“Or…oh! Ree-ree!” you said happily

Your mood perked up further when Reaper turned a glare on you.

“Ree-ree it is,” you giggled, pleased by his reaction. And you went through with it, calling him ree-ree whenever you could.

Hanzo:

Was not overly thrilled the morning you decided you wanted to give him a nickname

Hanzo didn’t see what was wrong with just saying his name as it was

It was short, simple Why on earth was it necessary for him to have a nickname?

You insisted though and pouted

Hanzo…grumbled but caved

You literally took all day deciding

He’d find you studying him on the way to the mission and back

Finding you watch during training exercises or meditation

For gods sake, it was almost nightfall and he was dreading the moment where you would first call him your chosen nickname

Finally you walked over and sat beside him

“So what have you decided?” Hanzo asked wearily, eyeing you curiously. What could you have possibly chosen?

Smiling wide, you hugged his arm. “Sugar-noodle. It sounds more like a pet name, which it probably is, but it’ll be my new name for you,” you said contentedly.

Sugar noodle…of course you couldn’t think of anything that didn’t involve food, he thought with a sigh

“Why…sugar noodle?” Hanzo asked finally.

“Because your sweet as sugar, when you want to be,” you explained immediately. “And you have two lil noodles, which makes you the big noodle.” You pointed at his arm for emphasis.

“They are dragons-,” Hanzo started to say.

“I can call you sugar daddy instead if you want,” you said playfully.

Silence fell as his cheeks slowly started to grow a dark pink. It delighted you to see there really was no shame to his kink.

“Sugar Noodle will do.”

McCree:

It was a lot easier

You’ve had a nickname for him the moment since you met him

Not once have you mentioned it to him

But you call him this nick name to others without him knowing

The way he finds out is a little funny

One day your polishing the guns in the weapons room, and he literally bursts through the door

Jesse’s face looks like a mix between stormy and worried

“Who the fuck is Mickey?” he demands, crossing his arms

For a moment you could only stare at the cowboy dumbfounded. The two of you have dated for almost a year and he hadn’t found out your nickname for him

The funny part though was the jealousy thick in his voice

“Answer me, damn it!” Jesse said, voice thick. He couldn’t think of you as a cheater, though hearing Angela talk about you loving your cowboy ‘Mickey’ had sent into a jealous rage

What stunned him was when you started to laugh.

“Oh, Jesse, baby. Your Mickey,” you laugh, rubbing at your eyes. This was the first time you’d ever seen your cowboy so utterly jealous, only for it to be of himself.

McCree blinked after a moment. “….What.”

“I, uh, I like calling you Mickey. Its a nickname I gave you when we met,” you said, smiling at him. Jesse was adorable when he was jealous. And confused. “I figured someone would have mentioned it to you by now.”

Jesse eyes you, unsure what to think. “….So I’m Mickey the cowboy,” Jesse said, his worry kind of silly now that the pieces clicked.

“Yes. Your Mickey. And a cowboy. So…I guess that makes you Mickey the cowboy,” you said, patting his cheek and stealing a quick kiss.

After a moment, Jesse sat and groaned, and you couldn’t help giggling at his reaction.

Zenyatta:

Zenyatta is completely precious 

One day D.va is talking about one of the other members and when she mentions the nickname, Zenyatta gets confused

So D.va tells him what nicknames are and that they are given by people who really care about them

Immediately Zenyatta is curious

Finding you in your work space, Zenyatta waits, hovering with little Checkers the cat in his arms

The cat played with the omnic’s fingers and purred under the constant pets

You glance up and smile at your cute omnic boyfriend, who’s recently taken to wearing shirts picked out by Tracer. Today it was ‘I’m sexy and I Own It’, in a bright yellow.

“Whats up, sweetheart?” you asked, picking up a wrench and working on the next from bolts. You were often helping Torbjorn with his works or helping fix things around base.

Zenyatta waited a moment as you tightened the bolt. “Do I have a nickname?” he asks curiously.

You blink in surprise, wiping the grease from your fingers on a dirty rag.

“A nickname?” you asked, a smile tugging at your lips.

“Yes. D.Va says nicknames are given by people to those they care about very much,” Zenyatta asked, voice wavering slightly.

As if he doubted…

Eyes softening, you reached over and took one of his hands. “Of course I have a nickname for you. I like to call you Zen or Zenny. I like Zenny best though, because it makes me think of the word sunny, and that’s how you make me feel whenever i’m with you,” you said gently.

It took a moment, but you heard what sounded like a few gears grinding too fast in his chest. You always found it cute, because you compared it to your equivalent of a racing heart beat.

“I like Zenny too,” Zenyatta said shyly.

He was so damn happy.

[wolf2009]

Now that it is complete. I really want to thank @oblivionscribe and @writer-ofstuff for all they have done. And now without further a due here is my Overwatch Story. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert sat in the rec room of one the many Overwatch stationed bases, playing a video game with D.Va, or as Robert calls her a Gremlin, and Lucio. D.va was winning, no surprise there really, but unlike other times when he would game with the two, Roberts mind wasn't fully in the game. Instead thinking back at the conversation he had with McCree earlier, the two have been a thing for sometime, though in a open relationship which both were fine with, it just seemed to Robert McCree was being distant lately, and every time he asked what was up he'd get brushed off as if was nothing. Finally he had enough and had snapped at McCree, storming off form the other man and holing himself up in the rec room where Gremlin and Lucio found him. "Ha! I win again!" D.va says, Lucio and Robert sighing in defeat. "Isn't even a surprise at this point Gremlin?" Robert says, letting out a soft chuckle, right before he feels a sharp pain flare from his neck, his hand instantly moving towards the source and pulling out a dart. "The fuck?? he grunts, suddenly feeling dizzy, falling to his knees, hearing commotion around him as Lucio and D.Va rush to his side, hearing them shouting about an intruder, calling for help as Robert starts to break out into a sweat, body feeling hot and cold at the same time, panting heavily as the poison from the dart spreads through his system.He can vaguely here the others storm into the room, hearing Solider 76 shouting for Reaper and Genji to follow him after the intruder, instructing Mercy and Zenyatta to help Lucio and D.Va with Robert. Robert starts to feel worse, gritting his teeth, feeling his fangs dropping, claws sharpening as his shift starts to happen. He tries to hold back, to keep calm, but the poison is making it hard to do so. Finding his wolf power taking over as it feels threatened when the others circle him, their voices sounding muffled as he shifts from human form into a large beast form. Shoving the all back form him with a loud roar as he tears out the room. McCree sighs, thinking back about the small argument he had with Robert, how the younger man looked upset as he stormed off from him. He didn't think pulling away from Robert would be that bad on him, the younger man seemed fine when they started their open relationship, McCree even seeing him making out with Lucio one time, and the two would often talk about their hook ups as they laid in bed with one another. "Time to head back I suppose." He mutters to himself, he needs to talk to Robert see what he can do to make the younger man feel better, only when he gets back to the base he sees a shadow figure dashing out, chased by Reaper, 76, and Genji. McCree is about to follow and see whats going on, but stops and turns his attention back to the base after hearing a loud roar. "Robert?" He mutters softly, hurrying inside. He hears a loud commotion coming from one the larger rooms on the base, hurrying there he finds Robert, in full beast mode smacking around Lucio and even Reinhardt. He sees D.Va coming in her Mecha suit, only to be tackled by Robert and tossed into Reinhardt when the older man starts to get up. "McCree! You have to help, we can't get him still to heal the poison from his body." He hears Mercy say. her and Zenyetta are currently off to the side looking a little beat up themselves.  A lot happens in the next few minutes, McCree tries to talk to Robert, only to get knocked back and dodge in time to miss the claws that barely miss him. "Whoa there Darlin, it's like you're trying to hurt me." McCree jokes, earning a snarl from Robert who circles him. "COme on now, don't tell me you forgot about me have ya?" He asks, not liking seeing Robert like this, as the beast in front of him lunges, knocking McCree back and goes to bite him, McCree having enough time to block with his metal arm, thankful it's that, that Robert bites down on. "Come on now Robert you gotta snap out of it!" McCree pleas, staring into the near feral eyes of Robert as the wolf bites hard on the metal arm. "I know you might still be mad about what happened, but please fight through this, for me?" He says, thankful to see the wolf falter a bit, his grip on McCree's metal arm loosening. "See I knew you were still in there. That's one of the things I admire, no That I love about you Robert, you're a fighter." McCree says, not wanting to admit his love for Robert like this, wanting it to be in a more romantic setting than the two like this. Robert suddenly lets go, stepping away from McCree and sitting on his haunches and whimpers. "Do it now!" McCree says, Mercy and Zenyetta moving, surrounding Robert in a bright light, healing the poison from the younger man's body. The next few minutes are tense, everyone in the room gathering and watching Robert starts to shift, shrinking down to human size, human features taking over the lupine ones as he reverts back to his human form, falling forward and gets caught by McCree.  McCree hugs the younger man to his chest gently, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Who knew you could be such a sap." Robert jokes, getting a small chuckle from McCree. "You bring it out of me." he mutters, as Roberts healing session slows. "He should be fine now the poison is gone, but he needs plenty of rest. Forced into that form like that as the poison was in his system took a lot out of him." McCree hears Mercy explain. "We're going to help the others find the intruder," Reinhardt announces, nodding to McCree and Robert as he, Lucio, and D.Va follow. "You should go with them, I'm fine now." Robert mutters, McCree helping him stand and leading them to his room. "Not a chance. You're stuck with me till your feelin 100 percent Darlin." McCree says. Robert sighs, but doesn't protest, glad to be here in McCree's arms as he leads them to his room.

[cupofsorrows]

HOWARD LOVECRAFT 4: CRAFT HARD WITH A VENGEANCE

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Time to continue this cursed journey, blighted not by eldritch forces but by sub-quality filmmaking. As you’ll recall (or not), LL Cool Craft and those other two dudes were on their way to beat themselves up a necromancer. Let’s see how well they’re doing:

PRETTY GOOD, IT DOESN’T SEEM.

Except wait, they actually do pretty well, because as we’ve already established knocking a shoggoth out through blunt force is both possible and fairly easy to do, and also because Dr. Armitage has the athleticism of a young Super Mario.

seen here bestowing an orb of discord on the enemy. yes i went back to the zenyatta joke.

Of course, they eventually get captured, and now it’s time for King Abby to reveal his evil plan...

“nah dude I already saw that movie, I know Thanos loses in the end.”

Suffice it to say that basically Abdul wants to “open the Gate of Dreams” because daily life has become soul-crushingly dull.

Like, I get it dude, I’ve worked retail too, but you don’t see me trying to destroy the universe. Anyways, the final journal is hidden behind a magic gateway that apparently only Howard can pass through:

All I can say is it’s a good thing this is an alternate re-imagining of Lovecraft’s life, and not the real version where he was heinously racist basically all the time.

Yes, Howard’s Dad, the animation’s terrible, but it’s looked like that all movie - I don’t understand why you’re just now reacting.

By now it’s time for the tables to turn yet again, through a series of actions I didn’t care enough to cap, and it looks like everyone’s about to escape...

BUT WAIT!

Nooooo Dr. Armitage! You were.......a character in this movie!

All four of them (they got Spot’s astral form in the crystal ball) escape through the portal, but Armitage is wounded in that special animation way where there’s no blood or even clothing damage but you have to hold your side and wince and you can’t walk for some reason. Is he going to make it?

Sorry, kid, but it looks like it’s his time to...return to the university? Um, OK. Oh, but first he can restore Spot to his bargain-bin aladdin-genie form.

Farewell, Doctor. This whole scene was very nearly pointless.

It’s all good, though, because the Three Amigos have a new destination!

This gives Paw Lovecraft plenty of time to ramble about how he came to write the journals (notice throughout how they can’t be arsed to give half of the things in this movie proper shadows but they do make sure to take the extra effort with the beads of sweat on his forehead):

Cool story bro, but I’m still a little unclear about NO NO WAIT I DIDN’T SAY FLASHBACK Aaah dammit, there he goes.

...

You could have given a thousand Lovecraft scholars an entire year to try to guess what might be in this movie and I don’t think a single one would have come up with “awkward Death Note homage”. My hat is off to you, movie. Bra-vo.

(i guess there’s a possibility it’s coincidental, but that’s even funnier because then that means two different people independently had the idea to animate somebody writing in a notebook but make it look as intense as possible, and they both came up with the exact same solution)

Now we’re finally introduced to Doctor West (voiced by Christopher Plummer), the mysterious colleague of Lovecraft Senior whom we’ve AAUUGH

my man I am so, so sorry.

...er, anyway, seems the two of them were working together when they made their big breakthrough. Here we see them as Lovecraft the Elder prepares to journey to either an alien planet or a particularly wild orgy.

...Adding “Stargate” to the list of things I wasn’t expecting this movie to rip off...

And now, at last, we learn why “Undersea Kingdom” was in this movie’s title.

I dunno, dude, it’s a kingdom and it’s undersea. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

Just then, however, Flashback Howard’s Dad is treated to a terrifying sight!

bigchungus.png

“Nice notebook, nerd! Yyyyyyoink!”

...And that’s the state of things now. That’s why DadCraft went nuts and that’s where the last journal is. He timed his flashback well, for they’ve just arrived at their destination:

Yeah, they probably shunned it because some crazy, Edgar Allan Poe-looking fucker was always up there running around and babbling in a nonsense language! I’d shun that place, too!

Underneath the hill is a secret base where Dad suits up to return to the Undersea Kingdom™ - Howard doesn’t need one, on account of the ‘turning into a fish’ thing.

see?

OK credit where credit is due, the actor playing this guy is really making an effort, and I actually sort of chuckled at this bit. His delivery is usually pretty goofy, but I think that’s the way to go here, and even if most of his lines are clunkers because, well, most of the script is clunky, there’s still an undeniable sort of heart behind it. Imdb says the actor’s name is Tyler Nicol, who doesn’t seem to have been in much, and probably can’t stand on the level of the big-name talents in this movie (though I def wouldn’t say they’re all at their best here), but I think he deserves some recognition for trying.

Tangent over, here comes the big fish dude again.

I think we can all guess what his name is...

...Munkus Q. Charliebears! ...Oh, yeah, or Dagon. That would’ve been my second guess.

But it’s OK, he’s on our side! In his minute or so of screen time Dagon manages to deliver probably the most useful exposition in the whole damn film, explaining that he took the journal to keep it safe and that he put up the magic gate that only plucky boy heroes can pass through, as well as laying out some background for Nyarlathotep and his motivation for being involved in this. It turns out that Nyarrblbarbagarbl wants to activate Cthulhu in accordance to the wishes of their mutual father, Azathoth. Now everybody’s hanging out in Dagon’s crib to get at the journal, so our pal Hovercraft had better get moving to get it before the bad guys do. This falls on him, because it was his dad who fucked everything up in the first place and now he’s too cuckoo to fix it himself.

You sure it’s that and not...you know. The racism?

Alright, so everybody up to speed? Everyone understand everything? No? Well too damn bad.

Disappointingly, “Y’ha” is not pronounced “Yeeha”.

(PRONUNCIATION GUIDE THUS FAR:

Tekeli-li - Tekah-leelee

Cthulhu - Kuh-too-loo (probably the way you’ve heard it elsewhere)

Shoggoth - Shuh-GOTH

Nyarlahotep - Nee-ar-LA-ho-tep

Innsmouth - The ‘mouth’ is pronounced that way (i.e. the orifice you eat with) instead of ‘muth’ which I had always assumed

R’lyeh - Ruh-LAY (this is the one I’m most calling bullshit on)

Howard - JEFF-ree

As the goodguys approach, the badguys sense their arrival:

“ ‘WhAt sHaLl i dO, blehhhhh I’m a Dumbass’ That’s what you sound like.”

LMAO YASSS DRAG HIS ASS

Then Howard et al show up on the scene, and it’s time for the Big Bad to make his debut.

OK I like this, I think it’s actually sort of eerie, but it’s too little too late at this point. Also, isn’t Azathoth supposed to be sort of mindless? Or have I gotten him confused with some other ineffable outer being?

I feel like I should say something about the sudden art shift, but I’m approaching the end of my patience and I just want this all to be over already.

Surprise, Mom is still a hostage! Her skin has definitely looked better, too.

LOOK OUT, WALLACE N. GROMIT IS OFF THE SHITS

You know what else he looks like to me? A cartoon mailman. Remove the mask and the hood, add the little mailman hat...do you see it?

Did I mention the trials? No? OK: there are trials.

The fate of the world before him, his family behind him, his meat enormous, Hocus Pocus Lovecraft can do nothing but move forward.

2 B CONTINUED

RIGHT NOW

[crookedcrow5]

Why do you still wear that thing? - Chap. 10

Staying off her feet was impossible, even if it was recommended by her doctors. Lena was practically born running and death wouldn't stop her.

Emily wanted to though, whenever she saw Lena jogging on the treadmill or heading out for a run, Emily was bit hesitant now. She never said anything except putting on a smile and telling her to be careful. Lena looked like she understood. The recent scare had been enough to shake them both. She started to wake from nightmares and flailed as if being pinned down. It was like the Slipstream accident was only yesterday.

It hadn't, and Emily hated that she had to keep reminding her.

She wasn't angry at Lena though, she never could be. The ex-pilot couldn't control her illness and Emily wanted to step in.

No, she was angry at someone else. And while she still blamed herself slightly, she mainly blamed that man.

That man who targeted Lena because she was defending someone else.

That man who noticed her pained breaths.

That man, who could have just walked away, decided to hurt her.

Because she would have helped the police? Because he knew what she meant to others? Emily didn't know. But she was going to find out.

She didn't start as an engineer, so making phone calls was easy. She already had an idea of who to call based on the letters Lena received. So many people were touched by her bravery, the least Emily could do was ask.

Only a small group of people were fully ready to follow her, and she understood. She was asking a lot with this quest of hers.

So she took the leap and grabbed Lena's hoodie while she was asleep.

Emily sighed and pulled her hair from the inside of the hoodie before putting it up into a pony tail. She rubbed the wraps on her hand before double checking the ring was secure. While what she was about to do was far more dangerous, she would probably be more devastated if she lost the ring or left it at home. She would never do that to Lena.

Looking back at her wife's sleeping face only reassured her what she was doing was right. People needed to know that someone was going to stand up for them when the police couldn't. It wasn't going to be easy but…

Emily glanced at her phone before kissing Lena's cheek and heading out the door.

The others were waiting for her on their front porch.

“So?” Lucio spoke quietly.

“Sound asleep.”

“Alright then, let's ride on.” Jesse jumped back into his truck which barely shook anymore due to the cargo in the back. “Who's riding with me?”

“I know how you drive and I'm not dying tonight,” Ana chuckled and walked over to the armored van. “May I?”

“After you!” Reinhardt barely had an indoor voice, Emily was surprised none of the neighbors woke up as he bowed and opened the door for Ana.

Lucio shook his head and skated towards Jesse.

“I am not listening to Hasslehoff all the way there, man.”

“It's a classic!”

“Shall we get going?” Zenyatta smiled towards Emily before wheeling towards the van. Emily followed, but glanced back at the house one more time. “It's okay to be nervous.”

Emily sighed and got inside, looking over at Zenyatta adjusting himself on the lift.

“Well, we are about to do something dangerous but...” Emily chuckled to herself. “I suppose it's what needs to be done.”

“Never forget what you're fighting for,” Ana reminded her with a small smile as Reinhardt laughed and started the car.

“Oh I won't,” Emily grinned back.

Something was going on with Emily.

Whenever Lena stepped back in, Emily always seemed to be ending a call. Lena would ask but she would insist it was just work being a pain, even on her leave. However, she would only have calls when Lena wasn't there. She could be in the shower, on the treadmill, out to try and get Lucio to let her into the station, and Emily would always be on call.

Lena wasn't the jealous type, far from it, but she couldn't help but become more curious.

Emily still showered her with affection, from cuddling on the couch to kisses on the back of her neck to even more intimate things.

But one day, she found a note and realized that her hoodie was missing.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!” Lena rolled off the bed, grunting as she hit the floor before quickly standing and grabbing her phone. One quick press on her quick call as she put on pants made her anxiety worsen. Emily's phone wasn't on. “Shit!” She pulled a shirt over her head and switched off hands as she selected another number.

“Fareeha- Fuck!” She tripped over something but quickly grabbed her phone again. “Listen, Emily's gone after him, she left a note and her phone isn't on and they said you know where it is! We have to go help them!”

She hissed as her shoulder bumped into the door frame and jumped into her shoes.

“Yes “them”! She says she got some people to help her! Please, 'Reeha, help!” She sighed and hung up after the Captain's quick reply.

“Emily what were you thinking?!” Lena shouted to herself before she slammed the door behind her.

She didn't know where she was going but as long as she went in Fareeha's direction, it didn't matter, as she could hear the Raptora from a mile away.

Fareeha tossed a helmet to Lena and steadied the bike as she got on.

“I made some calls and we're going to meet with them!” Fareeha said above the roar of the motor. “There's quite a few that were able to come but it's probably better than what they've got!”

“Roger!”

While Fareeha wasn't a bad driver by any standard, the urgency made her take as many shortcuts as possible and the Raptora delivered.

They still weren't the first to be at the meeting spot however.

Two men were leaning back on motorcycles and Lena was half afraid that they had stumbled onto someone else's conversation, that would take too much time. She relaxed only when one of them glanced over and raised their hand.

“Hey Captain!”

Fareeha moved the Raptora next to them, letting Lena get a better look. The bikes were in rougher condition than Fareeha's prized bike, but their jackets are what caught her attention. There was a patch on each one of a striking cobra surrounded by smoke. She had seen the logo somewhere before and she noticed a long time ago that the Captain's jacket had a miscolored spot, as if a patch was missing.

Wait.

“No way,” Lena spoke up and Fareeha looked back at her. “No way! You were in a biker gang?!”

At that, Fareeha blushed and one of the men chuckled while the other gasped.

“Captain, you were in a biker gang?! You never told us!” Even though she glared at him, he just cackled.

Lena couldn't believe it. The Helix Gang was renowned for their attacks against a corrupt official known as Anubis. Every local station had talked about it nonstop for a while, about how the gang were the ones to get all the evidence and proof and released it to the public. They were vigilantes that Lena used as examples.

And while the press never got pictures of the gang members, Lena had a pretty good guess.

“You were Pharah.” It was not even a question, Fareeha's outlook had changed pretty significantly around the time Helix took Anubis down and Pharah had sent a message stating exactly what Fareeha believed in.

Her nervousness only confirmed it further.

“Yes...I was.” Fareeha sighed and rubbed her eyes. “That was a while ago, however.”

“And yet she still kept our numbers, ain't that touching?” One of the men grinned at Lena. “I'm Saleh, nice to meet you!” He jabbed a thumb towards the other man. “That's Tariq, but he's still Rookie to me.”

“You're never letting that go, aren't you?” Tariq sighed.

Fareeha looked like she was about to reprimand them both before the beat-up van entered the small lot. Instead, the Captain just sent them both a glare before returning her attention to the tired doctor who climbed out of the van.

“We got as much as we could.”

“Thank you, really.” Her thanks managed to get Angela to smile slightly and Lena thought about maybe using it against them one day.

Well, if they all got out of this alive.

Hope only seemed to grow as both Genji and Winston stepped out of the van as well.

“I have a friend who knows good weaponry,” Genji chuckled. “It's all in the back.”

“I also have a friend.” Winston hummed and adjusted his glasses. “But they specialize in creating structures. She did complete the order for armor though. Both us and the cars.”

Lena blinked as she watched them all begin talking about their plans. They couldn't have had all this stuff ready in the time she called Fareeha. Her mind swam briefly, questioning how much time had passed before the Captain squeezed her shoulder.

“We were planning on doing something anyway,” Fareeha admitted with a smile. “Someone higher up is blocking any attempts towards catching these people.”

“And we happen to be specialists,” Tariq finished. “Those guys though?” He glanced over towards Winston and the others. “Captain just called them and they were already set up.”

Winston and Genji seemed to share a grin of pride while Angela's smile seemed more reserved.

They had wanted to help Lena, after all.

And still they weren't the only ones, as a car rolled up to the lot.

“Officer Oladele reporting!” Orisa cheerfully saluted once she got out of the car. “Bullet proof vests and ammo are in the trunk!”

“They're heavy too, so this suspension is probably going to be shot,” Hana leaned out of the window casually. “Sorry Cap, looks like we gotta get a new one. I recommend pink!”

“Pink?” Genji smirked. “What about green?”

“Pink or nothing, ninja!” Hana huffed and crossed her arms. “No one expects a pink car to be packing!”

“I also vote of green!” Orisa chimed in, ignorant to Hana's gasp of betrayal.

Saleh also jumped into the argument that ensued while the rest of them discussed their plans further.

“Speaking of blending in, how are we supposed to get in their without getting shot from across the way?” Tariq gulped.

“Well technically we could try to sneak in, but with our time constraints, we don't know how the others are going to also advance.”

“True...”

There was a silence split between the thoughtful group until an uninvited guest spoke up.

“I could disable the alarms for you~”

The argument halted and everyone turned to meet the gaze of the haunting hacker.

“You?!”

“Miss me?” Sombra chuckled as they leaned on the railing in front of the closed diner. “It has been a while Tracer, sorry about your heart.” They almost looked like they meant it, but the ambiguity only frustrated Lena more.

“You knew what would happen! You worked with them!”

“Hey,” Sombra scoffed. “I only work for myself! Well, and for paychecks, but they've been paying me in peanuts lately.” They smirked. “That's why I turned off the alarms for your girlfriend~ I'll even throw in those papers you dogs need.” They gestured to the officers.

“What do you want?” Fareeha glared at her intently, and Lena knew from experience that it felt like the fire of a thousand suns.

“Jeeze, you Amaris have really scary stares, you know that?” Sombra chuckled and pulled out a tablet, displaying the picture of a tall man in dark clothes, hiding his face. “I need you to let this guy go past you. No killing, no harming, and the mask?” Their smirk faded into a snarl. “It stays on. Got it?”

Chills went down Lena's spine, but from the looks of the others, she wasn't alone. Sombra was not to be trusted but with the life of the others on the line, they were pushed into a corner. And there was one way out of it.

“Right,” Lena said.

Almost immediately, Sombra's smirk returned and they pocketed the tablet.

“Great! Then I'll see you all later~” And before any response could be made, they slipped back into the shadows. The tension still remained, however.

It was time for the cavalry to move out.

“Can we trust them?”

“More than they can trust us!”

“Not at all then.”

“Aw, are you worried about Gabe? Just relax! You heard the boss, Talon needs a change in management.”

“Hm.”

“Speaking of, how did your mission go?”

“He is dead.”

“Are you sure? The last time we got you a mission, she survived and they're hunting your ass-”

“He. Is. Dead.”

“… Alright, whatever you say, Widow~”

[iv-kplpt]

well that was easy

this one’s kind of hard to explain: basically one evening i came up with an idea for a college au for (telltale) oswald and charlie and (gotham) oswald and jim gordon. my gf told me to write it, so naturally... two cobblepots are cousins. their respective family tragedies never happened. this is a self indulgent base/skeleton text - an outline of sorts that’ll be expanded with some more detailed oneshots.

High above the streets of London Widowmaker was perched on a rooftop, looking for a blind spot in enemy's defenses, for a possible path for Tracer to slip through and make her way to Sombra who was hidden behind the enemy lines, waiting for her chance to disarm them, to render them helpless and defenseless.

„Try the right path.” she finally said. „I don't think they even remember it exists. Through the window and up the stairs. Mind the gap.”

„I'm there!” Tracer announced after a short while. „And I have my bomb.”

„And we all have our stuff, so let's go.” Gordon said, yawning quietly and making his Zarya jump a few times. „Hey, where's Mercy?”

„Safe and sound.” announced Charlie, who was sitting behind Louise's Widow. „And far away.”

„Then time to get our first point.” Louise said, taking a sip of her drink. „Let's go.”

Their plan worked – once Louise activated her visor, she picked the enemy team one by one, headshot after headshot, Charlie boosting her to speed up the process, making their Mercy waste her ult. Then the true fun began; Oswald jumped out of his hideout he was sharing with Vicki – they were dance emoting in the meantime – and EMPed. Gordon did his russian thing and Vicki and Oz ulted at the same time, laughing maniacally, as the enemy team was decimated.

„Works every time.” Vicki said cheerfully, dancing on the point. „Incredible.”

„Communication is the best super power.” Oswald announced, jumping around as Charlie kept trying to heal him.

It was a late Friday afternoon and they were all free, but too tired to actually hang out, so they decided to play some matches together, instead of just yelling at each other on their discord server.

(For once Oz was glad they can't hang out in person. He really didn't feel like bearing Gordon's company that day.)

At first it was just Oz and Charlie online – everyone else was either on their phones or finishing something else, so for a good hour it was just TheWizardOfOz and CherryGum.

„So, how's your week going?” Oz asked, as he was chasing down some unfortunate Genji who had the audacity to try and flank.

„Semi-decent.” she replied, damage boosting him. „I'm probably not going to sleep tonight.”

„Insomnia?”

„No, I'm home alone and I really don't like it.”

„Oh, why didn't you say so earlier?” Oswald chimed in; Oz could hear people in the background, meaning his cousin was probably still on the campus. „You should've come over!”

Yes, Oz thought to himself, she should've.

He liked being around her, seeing her, hearing her. Every little thing she did felt like magic and he loved when she'd come over to have a movie night with his cousin; because when he'd walk into the kitchen the next morning it usually meant she was there with a cup of coffee, still warm and soft from the recent sleep, her hair a mess.

(He never said anything. In fact, he talked to her way less often than he'd like to. She was his cousin's friend first, after all – and someone he was hopelessly in love with second.)

Being in love is nice. Being in love with someone who loves someone else is not nice. Being in love with someone who loves someone else who treats them like shit is fucking awful.

That was seemingly the only thing Oz Cobblepot and Jim Gordon had in common – that and great hair. And nice jawlines.

They were both in love and both of their love interests were already monogamously taken – even though it was a Pulcinella's secret of sorts that their significant others are not doing so great in terms of being decent human beings. One could even argue they weren't good at just being human.

Everybody kinda knew and everybody kinda cared – but when confronted about it, Charlie and Oswald would only roll their eyes and assure the other person everything is fine and that gossips are rarely true.

Or: that was what Charlie would do. Oswald would chuckle nervously and change topic. He was never smooth – he was the awkward Cobblepot. Oz was the charming one.

But no matter how charming he was it wasn't enough for Charlie to really open up to him – she would laugh at his jokes and reply to his messages and send him silly things on snapchat, but she never truly opened up. Never talked about anything substantial, never really talked about what's going on in her life – except for vague mentions of her boyfriend Harry being a-fucking-ok.

(Oz couldn't stand Harry. He couldn't stand him long before he met his girlfriend who quickly became the last thing on his mind before falling asleep and first thing after waking up. There were rumors going around about Harry – and Oz was smart enough to know rumors usually don't come out of nowhere.)

From what he heard, there were also rumors going around about his cousin's boyfriend, Nygma – but those rumors were going around in uncool, nerd circles Oz wasn't part of. Doesn't mean he wasn't concerned about his cousin's wellbeing – but he knew his cousin. He knew the Cobblepot blood. Despite being tiny, awkward and polite Oswald could hold a mean grudge and he sure as hell knew how to defend himself.

Or maybe Oz was just lying to himself, because he knew who's also interested in his cousin. Everybody knew Jim Gordon – a serious, utterly intolerable prep – has hots for the shorter Cobblepot. Not like Oswald's current boyfriend was perfect, no – he was weird and something about him always rubbed Oz the wrong way, but at least he wasn't Jim fucking Gordon.

Oswald's love life wasn't Oz's main concern. His main concern was his own love life – which wasn't heading in a direction he liked.

(If it was heading in any direction at all.)

They met during a lame party, one year earlier. Most of the people were either drunk or high or both and he was in the kitchen, sitting on the table and smoking a cigarette as she entered, her skin covered in glitter and her eyes oddly red.

(He knew this kind of red, he saw it a lot of times from his cousin. It was a sad kind of red. One that came with tears.)

„Oh.” she said after noticing him. „Sorry, should... Should I leave?”

„There's enough room for both of us. Are you... Okay?” he asked, staring at her face. „You've been crying. Do you need help?”

She looked surprised and he kind of regretted asking her that; maybe he shouldn't be so blunt.

„No, it'll pass.” she said finally, smiling lightly; even despite crying there was still a lot of glitter on her face and he could see a tiny foil heart on her pink bottom lip. „You can give me a cigarette though.”

He gave her one and lit it up for her, as her hands were shaking; up close he could see that her lashes were still wet and matted and that there was a small foil star on her left eyebrow. Glitter mixed up with her freckles and Oz thought – putting his lighter back in his pocket – it turns her skin into a painting of galaxies.

„So, what's your name, beautiful stranger?” he asked eventually, as she visibly calmed down.

„I'm Charlie. And you... Handsome stranger?”

He laughed and winked at her and she grinned in response. She had a beautiful smile, a very genuine, bright one that reached her eyes and lit them up.

„Oz.”

They almost kissed during their first meeting, but were interrupted by some drunk strangers. They shuffled away from each other, Charlie visibly more distraught than him; he wouldn't mind kissing her and taking her home with him and sneaking her into his bedroom and then maybe waking up next to her the next day, assuming she wasn't the sneak-out-early-in-the-morning type.

„I think I'll go home now.” he said and got off the table, stretching his legs. „You need a ride? I have a spare helmet.”

„That'd be great... My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up, but... He's not going to.” she said, averting his eyes and nervously toying with the hem of her dress.

So she had a boyfriend. That'd explain why she looked so terrified. Maybe it'd also explain why she looked so sad.

She didn't live anywhere near him and the trip was longer than he expected, but he didn't mind the time spent with her arms around him; he supposed that's the last time he's seeing her anyway, considering they didn't even exchange phone numbers.

(She did seem familiar though. Maybe she was a friend of a friend on Facebook? He couldn't tell.)

One week later his cousin Oswald – his flatmate – texted him after his cooking class, asking if he'll mind him bringing someone over for tea? Oz texted back saying no, of course he won't, as long as they'll stay clear of his bedroom.

He was sitting on the couch in a living room when the door opened and Oswald came in, excitedly talking about how good season 2 of House of Cards was.

„Well, I have to catch up then.” someone said cheerfully and Oz's heart skipped a beat as he turned around on the couch, to see the familiar mass of red waves covering the back of Charlie's head. „I like Kevin Spacey. He reminds me of my dad.”

She put her coat on a hanger and turned around and then she saw Oz on the couch, silently staring at her and her face lit up and it felt like a great weight was lifted off his shoulders.

„Small world!” she exclaimed, walking up to him.

When Oswald left them for a moment she turned around to face him.

None of them mentioned the kiss that almost happened; they did exchange phone numbers though, and Facebook accounts, and some other things.

(She was a friend of Louise. Naturally. That'd explain why she looked so familiar.)

Back to present day Oz kept mercilessly tracking down enemy team's Zenyatta and cornering him before he could do anything about the damage his team was receiving.

„Aw, let that Zen live.” Charlie said and he heard a quiet pop!, meaning she was chewing gum. „He's doing his best.”

„This map is not big enough for two good healers.” he said nonchalantly and she giggled and he could hear Louise and Gordon roll their eyes. „I'm earning you that post-game card.”

„I'm earning it myself, but thanks. Hey, Oswald, is our movie night still a thing?”

„Oh, it definitely is.” Oswald assured Charlie as he was gunning down enemy Hanzo. „Louise, are you still coming?”

„Yeah. I'll bring... Well, something.”

„Don't worry, I'll bake some muffins.” Charlie said, running – or rather flying – for her life away from Mei's Blizzard. „A lot of them.”

„Will there be any left for me?” Oz asked and he heard Vicki typing furiously and then his phone buzzed and a messanger bubble popped up on the screen; he knew what it's going to say.

„I'll save some for you.” she promised him. „Hey Jim, save some for you as well?”

„If it's not a problem.” he said solemnly and Oz winced. „Louise, you're going to bring them home, right?”

„Oh, I'll try my best. Can't promise anything though. Junkrat's sneaking behind us. Whoops. Past tense.”

After the match ended – they won 3:0 and Louise got potg as Widowmaker, prompting the enemy team to throw a hissy fit over „FUCKING ATTACK WIDOWS” - Oz finally read the message Vicki sent him during the match.

YOU THIRSTY IDIOT.

He shrugged. What could he say? She was right, there was no denying – even though he was doing his best to hide it. On good days he'd almost fool himself into thinking Charlie is just a friend of his cousin, a nice girl who sends him memes at 3 am and bakes the best damn muffins he've ever eaten.

But she was so much more than that. She was also taken; and as much as he hated her fucking Harry he never said anything out loud, knowing damn well it'd only be interpreted one way.

That night he thought of her before falling asleep. She was on his mind a lot lately; but that night it was less about the warmth she made him feel with her laughter and more about the way she tilted her head and exposed her neck when lost in thoughts. Less about wanting to make her laugh – and more about her lips parted in a moan.

That night he jacked off to the thought of his cousin's close friend, who was in a committed relationship.

*** Next evening he met her on his way to a boxing match. He was just leaving when she showed up, her cheeks red from the chilly weather and her hair a mess, thanks to wind.

„Oh! You're leaving?” she asked; was that disappointment in her voice? He hoped so.

„Yeah. Things and stuff.” he replied, putting his leather jacket on and picking his backpack up.

„How mysterious! Are you doing something illegal?”

„Very.” he blurted out; he wasn't lying. His matches were illegal.

„Then try to not get caught... Though I'm sure I'd be able to convince Harry to represent you in court!” she giggled and he pursed his lips and nodded and left, his mood completely ruined. Did she have to mention her douchebag of a boyfriend?

Vicki was waiting for him outside the – officially abandonded – building where the match was supposed to be held. She was smoking and offered him a cigarette as soon as she saw him.

„Thanks.” he muttered, lighting it. „How's your day?”

„Could be better, could be worse. How's yours?”

„I'm going to fucking deck someone tonight.”

„That bad, huh?”

She finished her cigarette and crushed under the heel of her boot.

„It's your lucky night then. You'll be fighting Napier.”

„How the fuck do you know?”

„I'm a journalism major, remember. All the right questions to all the right people.”

She crossed her arms and inhaled the cold, sharp air.

„Le's get inside, I can feel my insides freezing.”

He shrugged, got rid of his cigarette and silently followed her.

„How's your cousin?” she asked, as they were entering the building.

„He's having a movie night with Lou and Charlie.”

„Oh, so that's where your bad mood comes from. You're still not over it?”

„Looks like I'm not.”

„You never told me how you actually met her.”

The building used to be a warehouse; it was spacious and relatively well lit. The host set up a makeshift ring there; and other people were starting to slowly flow in.

„Not tonight.” he said shortly. „You have our masks?”

As instructed by the host, every contestant – as well as every spectator – was supposed to wear a mask, to conceal their identity from potential cops masquerading as... Well, not cops.

Vicky patted her stuffed bag.

„Yeah. You sure yours is even admissible? You can stab someone to death with this beak.”

„The host said I can wear it as long as I don't use it to my advantage. Meaning... No stabbing. At least not tonight.”

„Edgy.” she said dryly and he laughed in response.

They parted ways – he put his mask on and joined the other people in a makeshift locker-room, while Vicky stayed behind, as spectators were not allowed anywhere behind the scenes.

Napier – or Joker, as he demanded to be called during nights like this – was sitting on a bench, staring other people down. His skin looked unnaturally pale, as he coated himself in white paint; he never wore a proper, physical mask. Only paint.

„Penguin, my man!” Joker greeted him cheerfully, not moving from his spot. „It'll be my pleasure to destroy you on this lovely night!”

„In your dreams, you freak.” he said coldly, not even trying to hide his disdain. He knew Jack Napier – they studied at the same college, even though nobody was able to tell exactly what is Napier exactly studying. He also knew Napier has his eyes on Harleen – a very sweet, very intelligent psych major who once helped him get away with some of his illegal shenanigans, despite not even knowing what's his name. That was the type of person Harleen was – type of person that needed to be preserved and protected, for they were making the world actually habitable.

And Napier having his eyes on her meant she's about to lose some of this goodness, same way one Esme Midnight and her step-brother Rocco lost their optimism and energy.

Their fight was first that night. Once on the ring, Oz let his body take control – it wasn't his first fight in general and not his first fight with Napier. He knew the drill. He knew the tricks – even though Joker was a one trick pony, his trick being unpredactibility.

As they fought, his mind came back to Charlie, or rather her boyfriend. He was a typical – stereotypical, even – frat boy; it was a miracle his name wasn't Chad. He was a law student, came from a rich family, his parents were friends with the mayor. He was a Republican and a living embodiment of the „boys will be boys” sentiment.

And Oz absolutely, truly, madly, deeply hated his guts.

(It was not a simple jealousy. At least he hoped so.)

Thinking about Harry Spencer did help him win the fight though. Joker never stood any chance.

„Are you sure you're not trying to actually kill Napier?” Vicki asked him after they left; they were going to a bar to get a beer or five.

„I wouldn't cry if that happened.”

„You'd end up in jail. For a long time.”

„Not really, no. Remember, my family's rich. Jail's not an option for anyone with the name Cobblepot.”

„But do you think Charlie would want to hang out with a murderer?” she asked and he groaned, rolling his eyes.

„She's a woman's studies major and Napier's an alleged rapist. I think her moral code might have a blind spot for me killing him.”

„That's... One way to win a girl's heart.” Vicki said, giving him a concerned look. „And the exact reason I don't take dating tips from you.”

„Speaking of dating... How's your grand plan going?” he asked when they reached the bar and sat down in a nearly empty room. „Did you ask her out yet?”

„I did. We have a date tomorrow.”

„And do you think there will be a second one?”

„I fucking hope so, she's...”

Vicki paused and Oz reached to pat her on a shoulder.

„Take your time. I get it. I really do.”

(He meant it. They both knew how hard it can be to find the right words to describe a girl; to fully do their beauty justice. Usually they just settled on „I want to both do unspeakable things to her and make waffles with her, you feel?”.)

After he and Vicki parted ways, he tried to open the door to his flat as quietly as possible, to avoid waking anyone up – but it wasn't necessary, as nobody was asleep anyway. The lights were on and Oswald and his friends were in the living room, talking excitedly.

„Hi Oz!” Charlie said cheerfully as she noticed him walking towards his room. „Join us!”

„Depends on what are you going to be watching.” he said; he was lying. He'd join them regardless of their movie pick.

(He could see she was wearing her pink night gown that exposed her legs and arms. Naturally.)

„Jupiter Ascending! I stand by my opinion, this movie is a masterpiece.”

„And I stand by mine. It's garbage.” Louise said, not looking up from her phone. „Hurry up, Oz. And maybe take a shower. You stink.”

Charlie stopped him as he was about to leave the room.

„Are you hungry?” she asked, weirdly nervously. „I can... Make something.”

„You're a guest, I'm not going to make you cook for me. Besides... I'm a big boy.”

„But I want to cook. Plus I'm going to the kitchen anyway.”

Her insistence made his lips twitch in a poorly hidden smile and he nodded.

„Well, alright. It's a free country.”

As she left he followed her with his eyes. Louise finally looked up and shot him a disgusted, disapproving look.

„Take. A. Shower.” she repeated, accentuating every word. „You filthy bastard.”

(He wondered whether she's referring to the fact he was covered in sweat or maybe the fact he stared at Charlie's bare legs as she was walking towards the kitchen. Both were plausible options.)

When he returned – his hair dripping wet and his head a mess, despite a cold shower – they were waiting for him, the movie about to start; Charlie made him a – perfectly round, perfectly golden – omelette and Louise threw a pillow at him, telling him to at least put a shirt on, to which he flipped her off.

At some point during their third movie, around 4am, Charlie – who was seated on the floor, right next to him, close enough for him to occasionally brush her thigh with his hand on accident – dozed off, with her head leaning on his arm.

From that perspective he could see her long lashes. She looked so peaceful; and the warmth of her skin against his felt like home.

„Should... Should I wake her up?” he whispered to Louise, who was right behind him.

In response, Louise gently kicked her in the back and she woke up almost instantly, her face turning red when she noticed who was her pillow for a short while.

„I think that's it for me.” she muttered, getting up shakily and using his arm as a support. „Oswald, I'll crash in your room.”

„Goodnight!” Oswald said cheerfully, still full of energy, as Charlie left the room, yawning; and Oz remained perfectly still, his arm ridiculously hot where she put her hand.

The next morning he encountered her in the kitchen; still sleepy, not fully awake, slowly sipping her coffee. It was just the two of them; Oswald and Louise were asleep on the couch and Oz could hear their snoring.

„Morning.” he said, opening the fridge and looking inside. „Breakfast?”

„Mmm.” she muttered and he smiled to himself. „I dunno. Give me a sec.”

In soft, morning light she looked almost unreal. One of the straps of her night gown slipped down and he could see the faint outline of her breasts underneath the pastel pink fabric.

„Alright, I'm awake.” she said eventually, seemingly unaware of his wandering gaze. „Now feed me.”

„What do you want?”

„Waffles.” she said firmly. „Crispy and golden. You know how to make waffles, right?”

„Yeah. You taught me that, about... Two months ago.” he said, gathering his ingredients. „Remember?”

„I was sure you forgot.” she said softly and he fought off the urge to turn around and look at her.

The waffles turned out perfect and he found vanilla ice cream in the freezer and made her another coffee; with condensed milk and vanilla, strong and sweet, just how she liked it.

And that was the last time he saw her before everything went to shit.

*** It was a Wednesday afternoon and they were all playing together; „just one match” they kept saying for five games now. It was going well. They were having fun and even Gordon seemed to be way less annoying than usual. Oz could hear Harry in the background of everything Charlie was saying; but she seemed to be in a good mood, so that was all that mattered.

He was playing Hog that evening; he started to – very stubbornly – play him when Charlie offhandedly, jokingly mentioned Hog looks like someone who'd treat her right.

(Nobody commented on it. Nobody pointed out it probably says something disturbing about her relationship.)

She was playing Mercy and the enemy Mei was going after her like her life depended on it; at some point Oz just hooked her away, to make her fuck off.

„God, Oz, I could kiss you right now.” Charlie said, flying up to Louise who was testing out Pharah. „Thanks!”

„Everything for you.” he said nonchalantly, pretending he doesn't see the enemy Soldier sneaking around. „Pucker up, angel, I want that kiss. Or a solo rez. Both will do.”

„A kiss won't potentially ruin the game for us, so yeah. Pucker up.”

And that was the exact moment everything went to shit, meaning: Harry Spencer – Charlie's apparently-fucking-great boyfriend – threw what could only be described as a temper tantrum.

Turned out he wasn't at all a fan of Charlie joking about kissing other people – and they heard it all, because he didn't realize that even though she instantly turned the game off (leaving them hanging, but it didn't matter; they were too concerned to keep playing properly anyway and told the enemy team to do whatever they want) the discord was still running in the background, her good quality mic picking everything up.

Every insult. Every threat. Every tearful apology.

0swald

what should we do???

RaptureFucker

call the cops

WizardOfOz

they'll only make things worse for her. I'm going to pay them a visit.

victoriousvale YOU'RE going to make things worse for her, wtf, stay where you are!

gourdon I'm with him on this one though. Cops won't do any good. Cobblepot, you still there?

0swald

yes

gourdon ...not you. The other one.

0swald

he just left. i can hear his bike, i think he's serious.

victoriousvale he's going to get them both killed!!!!!!

RaptureFucker

vicki

did you know?

victoriousvale about what

RaptureFucker harry being like this

did anyone know?

anyone?

victoriousvale no, i didn't!!! but you heard him!!! if oz will show up at their doorstep now it's going to end up in a fucking bloody mess!!

gourdon

Fine. I'm on it. I'll be there before him. I'll stop him.

0swald

don't kill my cousin!

gourdon I'm not going to fight him, I'm going to talk some sense into him. Gordon out.

When Oz stopped his bike in front of the building where Charlie and Harry lived, Gordon was waiting for him on the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets.

„What the fuck are you doing here?!” Oz snarled at him, trying to get past. „I'm going in.”

„No, you're not. You're going to calm down. And then, you and I... Then we're going to talk.”

Gordon's grip on his shoulder was surprisingly firm. Blinded by fury, Oz grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him close, staring into his infuriatingly calm eyes.

„I'm going in.” he repeated.

„I texted her right before you showed up.” Gordon said, still staring at Oz. „I asked her if everything's alright, because she suddenly logged off. She texted back. Meaning she's alive. And you can't just barge in.”

„Why?”

„What makes you think she wants your help?” Jim finally blurted out. „Do you think that was the first time it happened? Do you really believe it?”

His thoughts came back to the first time he saw her, to the redness around her eyes and the way their lips almost met, the way she put her fingers on his shoulders.

„No.” he finally replied. „No, I don't think that was the first time.”

„Do you want her to leave him, Cobblepot?”

„That's none of your business.”

„Oh but it is. It is my business.”

„What the fuck do you want, Gordon?”

„For you to hear me out.” Gordon replied stoically, still staring him down. „We can help each other.”

„I don't want your help.”

„No, but you need it. And because I don't need yours... This is my first and last offer. Hear. Me. Out.”

„Fuck. Fine.” Oz said, giving up. „The fuck you want?”

„Are you in love with Charlie, Cobblepot?”

„That's none of your fucking business, Gordon.”

„You are then. So obviously, you want to help her, because... She's too good for this situation, right? She doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve her. You want to help her out, maybe you're even hoping she'll leave him for you...”

„What's your point?”, Oz interrupted him, feeling way more uneasy than he'd like to admit.

„I'll be blunt: we both want the same things for two very different people. I'm of course talking... About Oswald.” Gordon finally announced, his voice cracking just a bit. „I love your cousin, Cobblepot. And he's in the same exact shit as Charlie, it's just... A bit less obvious. And I want you to help me get him out of it. In exchange... I can help you with Charlie. I have classes with Spencer. I can work him. Get a confession out of him.”

„And what if I refuse? Will you just... Leave Charlie? In this bullshit?”

„She still has you, doesn't she? But the question is... If your gentle pushes will be enough to wake her up.”

„Are you expecting me to befriend Nygma?”

„What? No, this is out of question. He knows you're Oswald's cousin, he'll never open up to you. No, I want you to employ your less personal skills. Oh, stop making that face, of course everyone knows you've been stealing files.”

They were standing on the empty sidewalk, facing each other; Gordon seemed to be perfectly, unnaturally calm and Oz was still shaking from thinly veiled fury that was making his blood boil.

„We can get confessions out of Spencer and Nygma. We can make Charlie and Oswald face the facts. We can help them make the right decision. We can... We can help them. Ruin the illusion.”

„Fuck. Fine.” Oz repeated, feeling infuriatingly helpless. „Fine. Deal. I'll see what I can find. Maybe he said something to one of his weird friends. I'm still going to try to talk some sense into Charlie though.”

„She won't listen, but fine, have it your way.” Gordon said politely and turned around, ready to leave.

„Hey, Gordon.”

„Yeah?”

„I'm not doing this for you, yeah? I'm only doing this for her.”

„And here I thought you actually care about your cousin.” Jim said mockingly, walking away. „Go home, Cobblepot. Oswald's worried sick.”

He disappeared behind the corner, leaving Oz alone with his thoughts and an overwhelming desire to spill some blood.

*** He next saw Charlie next week, when he was paying Vicki a visit with some beer and sadness. Charlie was there and she was about to leave and he really, really wished she'd stay.

She looked as chipper as always and seemed to be genuinely surprised when he put his hand on her shoulder when they were in the corridor.

„Is everything alright, Charlie?” he asked, looking into her – blue, blue, blue – eyes.

„What do you mean?” she nervously replied,  nervously pressing her bag to her chest.

„With you and Harry. Is everything okay? Because I'm here if you need to vent. If he's... Not treating you right.”

For a moment he was sure she's going to crack. That she's going to let her feelings out. That this was all it took to solve the problem-

but instead she only furrowed her brows and pursed her lips.

„My relationship is my own, Oz.” she said sharply. „Mind your business.”

And just like that she turned around and left, leaving him alone and heartbroken.

„Wow. Real smooth.” Vicki said mockingly, walking out of the kitchen. „See? That's why I don't take dating tips from you.”

„I just want to help her.” he said, setting his beer-filled bag down.

„Then at least be smart about it. Have you talked to Gordon?”

„Yeah. And he told me the same exact thing.”

„But you're not going to listen since it's coming from him, so let me be your voice of reason. Be smart about it, Oz. She doesn't want your help. Make her want it. Make her realize she needs it.”

It all sounded simple and doable, but the truth was – he had no idea how to get around to doing it. How could she not see everything's wrong? How could she not see this is not how she should be treated?

(Even putting his own way of treating her aside – there were still other people. Oswald. Louise. Her other friends he didn't really know all that well. They were all treating her with kindness, because she never did anything to deserve anything less – so why couldn't she see Harry isn't giving her what she deserves?)

But, alas – he tried. Next time he saw her neither of them mentioned her sudden, short-lived outburst; she was all smiles and oh!s again, all charm and bubbliness. He learned his lesson from that one time though, and didn't try to openly talk about it again – at least not with her.

(He talked about her a lot behind her back, mostly with Vicki and Oswald; and Oswald seemed to agree that this situation is bullshit. He even promised to try to talk sense into her, as a friend, as someone who knew her considerably better than Oz.)

Watching Charlie – and remembering every fucking word Harry said to her – made Oz notice a few things about his cousin. He always knew something is up with Nygma; but he never really thought about it, believing his cousin knows what's best for him. He was of Cobblepot bloodline, after all – but their frequent night discussions almost made him look at Oswald the same way Gordon was probably looking at him.

(He and Gordon were in touch, which was weird and felt wrong, but they had to. One time, when Gordon was being particularly annoying with his pestering Oz over his lack of progress in going through Nygma's files, Oz outright asked him what does he see in his cousin?

„I don't know. What do you see in Charlie?” Jim then asked in return.

„She's just... Good. She's gentle. And beautiful.” he said, not sure why is he being so honest with Gordon of all people.

„Here's your answer then.”

For once in his life Oz felt like he has something in common with Jim Gordon.)

Not even once did Oz as much as consider confessing his feelings to Charlie. There was no point in doing so – he was damn sure only she only sees him platonically. The almost-kiss was often on his mind; but that night she was distraught. Maybe slightly drunk (though her breath didn't smell of alcohol and her eyes were clear); and she never sygnalized any attraction to him.

(He knew damn well he's handsome and he knew damn well about his bad boy charm. Didn't seem to be working on her though.)

*** Two months had passed since his late-night conversation with Gordon. Their weird pact was seemingly going nowhere – Oz couldn't find anything on Nygma's drive and Gordon couldn't get anything out of Harry Spencer, despite putting his best douchebag face on.

(Louise, who was also a law student and saw this first-hand confirmed Gordon is really trying to befriend Harry for some reason. His efforts weren't entirely futile – Spencer did seem to be comfortable around Jim, comfortable enough for rape jokes and some slut shaming; but not comfortable enough for truth about his girlfriend. Not comfortable for anything Gordon didn't already know about.)

Oz was alone that night; Oswald was studying with Louise and Gordon at their place and Vicki was writing three papers at the same time. He was alone that night and only had his thoughts to accompany him and – as usual – Charlie entered the picture, all soft and pink and beautiful.

He was just indulging some of his wants (her skin under his fingers her fingers in his hair their breaths tangled together) when his phone buzzed on the table and he blindly picked up, sure it was Oswald with an emergency.

„Oz.” he heard Charlie say, and she sounded so tense and awkward and sad. „Am I interrupting?”

„...no.” he muttered, his hand still moving. „What's up?”

„Can... Can I come over?” she asked hesitantly. „I'm sorry, I know it's so sudden and you probably have plans, but-”

„No, it's not a problem. You can come.” he interrupted her hastily. „Oswald's not home though.”

„I know. I just... Want some company.”

(It almost sounded like she's settling for something less, but he didn't mind. He didn't mind being something less, if it meant being anything at all to her.)

„I can bring some muffins.” she added after a moment. „I'll be there... In an hour.”

„Sure.” he said, closing his eyes. „See you.”

(He had no remorse for jacking off during the call. She didn't know. It didn't influence her life in any way.)

When she showed up he was on the couch in the living room, reading. He took a shower and put on clean clothes; just for her.

„You hair's wet. Did you shower just for me?” she asked, entering the room. „I'm touched.”

„Everything for you.” he said, forcing himself to not look up from his book. „What brings you here?”

„Harry's out and I'm feeling lonely.” she said, sitting down in Oswald's favorite chair. „Are you sure I'm not interrupting anything?”

„You spend so much time here it doesn't even count as coming over anymore, you know. So no. You're not interrupting anything.”

He finally put his book down and looked at her; she looked sad.

„What's eating you?” he asked and she blinked at looked at him.

„What?”

„You look sad. What's eating you?”

„I guess I'm just tired. Long week.”

She wasn't telling him the truth, and he knew that; she was hiding something. But fine. He decided he's not going to push.

They ordered some food; he convinced her to give his favorite place – a small takeout bar ran by a very jolly, very Slavic family – a chance and she seemed to genuinely enjoy the bizzarre wonders of East European food. They binged Brooklyn 99 together – her choice, not his.

About halfway through the second season she turned around to face him. He only had a chance to notice her fingers trembling slightly, before she suddenly threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

That night she tasted like a weird mix of bubblegum, cherry coke and pierogi; and he didn't want to push her away, even though he knew he should. He didn't want the moment to stop.

He was on his back and she was on top of him, still kissing him, her fingers still trembling; and he could feel something warm and wet on his face.

Tears.

„Charlie?” he muttered, finally breaking the kiss. „You're crying.”

„I know, dumbass.” she said, tears still streaming down her face and falling on his. „Sorry.”

„Hey.” he said softly, slowly sitting up, forcing her to back up a bit. „We should talk.”

„No, I should leave.” she said, averting his eyes. „I... I don't know what happened. Sorry.”

„Don't lie to me.” he blurted out without thinking. „Please. Not to me.”

She finally looked at him and he handed her a tissue and she wiped her tears and then... Then she started talking.

„I'm sorry.” was the first thing she said. „This isn't right. This isn't right, but it's just how I feel. I know a person can love two people at once, I know, but you and Harry... You two are so different.”

(Yeah, obviously – Oz thought – one's not a COMPLETE douchebag.)

„I just... I don't know. Can I be blunt?”

„Of course.”

„You're on my mind a lot lately.” she blurted out, looking embarassed. „When I'm alone. Or not. I think you're hot. And it's been on my mind... A lot. When I'm around you... I feel things I don't feel when I'm around Harry.”

„What do you feel around him?” he asked quietly and she only smiled and shook her head.

„My relationship's my own, Oz. Remember?”

„Yeah, well, it seems like I just became a part of it, want it or not.”

She closed her eyes and sighed and when she opened them again, she looked surprisingly peaceful, even though there were still faint trails of tears on her cheeks.

„Do you think Harry's bad for me?” she finally asked and his heart stopped for a moment.

„Is that a trick question?” he asked carefully.

„Maybe.”

„And do you want me to be honest?”

„I'm not expecting anything less. Not from you. You've always been honest with me.”

„Then yes.” he said finally, giving up on trying to uphold the facade. „I think he's bad for you.”

„Funny thing... I've been thinking exactly the same.”

„Wait, what?” he asked, not fully comprehending what just happened.

She gave him a sad smile and shook her head.

„I love him, but I don't think he loves me. I don't feel loved. I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel wanted. I only feel... Lonely. Useless. Like a prop. A thing. And do you know on whose attention I always could count? Who never failed to make me feel less terrible, who complimented me on my cooking, who kept their eyes on me?”

„No.” he said softly, despite already knowing the answer.

„You. You did. All this time, all these months... You've been filling this void. Just because. Without asking for anything in return.”

(She wasn't entirely right, but he wasn't going to correct her.)

„But why me, specifically? There are other people. You and Oswald seem close.”

„Oz, don't play dumb. I know the truth. Oswald told me.”

„WHAT?”

„We got sad drunk once. I said... I said I wish you saw me the way I see you. And Oswald... Oswald then just looked me, his eyes wide open, like he just heard the most outrageous thing ever, and just said YOU DON'T KNOW?”

(How did his cousin know? How did he figure it out?)

„I know you have feelings for me.” she whispered, putting her hand on his. „I know. And I think... This is what kept me going.”

„Are you going to break up with Harry?”

„I can't.” she replied after a long silence. „I... I don't know how. I don't know if I want to. I keep telling myself... He'll change. For the better.”

„How many times, Charlie? How many times have you told yourself that?”

„I lost count.” she said quietly. „After every argument. Every... Every threat. Every word. But I still love him. I can't just leave him. But I also... I think I also love you. Will you judge me if I stay with him?”

„It's not safe for you. If he'll find out...”

„He won't. Besides... I know I can count on you. Right?”

She brushed his knuckles with her index finger.

„Right.” he said quietly. „So... What about us? What does it make me?”

„Kiss me.” she said instead of actually answering. „It's been so long... Kiss me. Kiss me like I've been imagining you would.”

„Yeah? How exactly?” he asked, giving in, pulling her closer. „Do you want me to be gentle? Rough?”

„Take your pick.” she muttered in response. „Both will work.”

He kissed her gently, tenderly; he could feel her fingers in his hair, on his back, on his shoulders. He didn't want to let her go, not after all these months. And he didn't want to think about what will happen when the sun rises and she'll come back home, to Harry; he was sure they'll find a way to fix this mess, to get her out of it.

(He wanted to message Gordon right here, right now, to tell him Charlie's been aware of everything, to tell him all his efforts to befriend Spencer were actually for nothing).

They only kissed that night, but it was enough. They had time.

*** It took her a month to break up with Harry Spencer, a long, surprisingly painful month. They never mentioned anything to other people; no pet names, no small, casual displays of affection. Just in case. Just to be careful. They were doing a great job at hiding, at only brushing lips when no one was around, at only calling each other „love” when nobody could hear it – but eventually, the truth came out.

Thankfully, it came out to their friends at first. She asked him if he can pick her from appointment at a tattoo parlor and drop her off at a cafe, where she was going to meet Louise; he naturally agreed, saying she can repay him in kisses or muffins, because good god, he loved her muffins.

But she never showed up and wasn't picking up her phone; and when he called Louise to ask if she has any idea what's going on he heard Charlie's in Gordon's room. She showed up on their doorstep, crying, sobbing, and refused to say what's going on, so they wrapped her in a blanket and waited for her to calm down a bit.

„At some point she just... Dozed off.” Louise muttered to him. „And now she's sleeptalking. Something about Harry... And something about you. Jim asks if there's something you want to tell us.”

There was nothing he wanted to tell them – but there was something he had to tell them.

That was the first time he heard Jim Gordon lose his composure.

„ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Gordon roared at him through the phone. „FUCK!”

„Hey, our arrangement's still a thing. I'm keeping my end of the deal.”

„How could you do this to her?! Do you have ANY IDEA what kind of danger you're putting her in?!”

„She initiated everything!”

„And you're a grown ass man! Why didn't you just say no?!”

„Oh, fuck off, you hypocrite, don't think I didn't see you and Oswald making out in the kitchen two weeks ago. You're the last person who has any right to judge me. Now give Louise her phone back.”

„You made out with her?” Louise said immediately after getting her phone back. „Wow, Cobblepot. Just wow.”

„Look, as for now I'm her side boyfriend. That's just the way things are. How is she?”

„Bad. That was a regular breakdown.”

„Any idea what triggered it?”

„I have two theories. One – Harry threw a hissy fit again. Two – she feels like she's using you.”

„Both equally grim. Should I come over?”

„Heavens, no. She's in good hands. You... Just go home. Oz!”

„What?”

„You're not going to cheat on her, are you?”

„I'm going to say it once. I've been stuck with a serious fucking case of emotional blueballs for months. Months. I'm not going to fuck this up. Have some faith in me, wouldn't you?”

„Fine. I'm calling Vicki.”

(Vicki called him twenty minutes later, but he was on his bike, so he called her back after reaching his building. She picked up and the first thing he heard was her laughter.

„You fucker!” she eventually said. „I knew you'd do it!”

„Always glad to hear how supportive you are.” he said dryly, looking for his keys. „What did Louise tell you?”

„Everything, Oz. Everything, you little homewrecker.”)

All in all, they took it rather well – especially Oswald, who seemed to be genuinely happy for them and very concerned about Charlie's situation.

(When listening to his cousin's excited chatter he kept wondering if Jim already heard what he heard. If Oswald told him about not feeling loved and about Jim filling some void.)

But their friends knowing wasn't an issue. He knew their friends and he knew nothing will get back to Harry – especially not from Gordon, who was suffering through every minute of trying to get closer to Spencer. No, the truth came out in a way nobody expected – Spencer figured it out by itself.

It was a late Saturday evening when Oswald's phone rang.

„Oh! Charlie's calling.” he said an Oz only muttered something in response, busy fixing a paragraph in a paper he was supposed to submit in few hours.

Few moments later Oswald – even more pale than usual – shook Oz's arm violently, turning his phone's volume all the way up.

„What?!” Oz asked with annoyance, but quickly understood. Charlie called Oswald during an argument with Harry – and things were getting ugly.

He went through her phone when she wasn't looking. He went through her phone and found her texts and their discord chat and Oz thanked god Charlie was sensible enough to delete the photo she sent him earlier that week; her freckled skin looked beautiful in the morning sunlight and her black lace bra almost costed him his good composure in class.

„I'm going there.” he said shortly, getting up, walking towards the door. „Call Gordon. Tell him to get a car ready.”

Just like last time, Gordon was waiting for him on the street; but this time he didn't stop him.

„What is going on?” he asked instead. „Oswald didn't give me any details.”

„I'm getting Charlie out of here. And I need you... To stop me from killing Harry Spencer.”

„You picked a wrong man for the job, mate. I want to kill him myself.”

„Tough shit.” Oz said, entering the building. „You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I can stop you from killing Nygma.”

„What, you found something on him?”

„I've been tracking his online activity and I got something Oswald's definitely not gonna like. It might open his eyes though.”

„Great. But now, let's focus on why we're here.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened and they were standing right in front of the door leading to Charlie and Harry's place.

„Use that stick you got up your ass as a moral compass, Gordon.” Oz said, opening the door without knocking. „Anyone home?”

Spencer wasn't expecting them, they took him by surprise; after a moment he was lying on the floor and Oz was on top of him, his fingers around Spencer's neck.

„Cobblepot, this is enough.” Gordon said eventually, pushing him away. „Leave him to me. You go get her.”

Charlie locked herself in a bathroom and Oz could hear her muffled sobs from behind the door.

„Babe?” he asked carefully, not sure what to do. „Can I come in?”

„Is Harry alive?” she asked in return and he sighed and glanced at a – seemingly unconcious – Spencer, guarded by slighly annoyed Jim Gordon.

„Yeah.” he said. „What, do you want me to change that? It can be arranged.”

„No!” she replied instantly and he heard her unlocking the door. „I don't want you to get in trouble.”

The door opened and he took a step back and she left the bathroom and he instantly felt his blood boil at the sight of her giant black eye.

„Don't kill him.” she repeated, awkwardly trying to cover the mark with her hair. „Don't... Don't look at me.”

„Can I take you home?” he asked, his fists shaking. „I'm not leaving you with him.”

„Can I pack my stuff? He's... He's going to wreck it. I know it. He told me.”

„Take your time.” Gordon said, still sitting next to Spencer. „If you go with him, I'm sure everything will fit inside my car.”

They hastily packed her things – mostly books and clothes and an outstanding amount of kitchen utensils – and put them all in Gordon's car.

In the meantime, Harry Spencer was slowly starting to wake up.

„What the...” he muttered, trying to get up, but was instantly and firmly stopped by Gordon.

„You fucked up.” Gordon told him calmly, despite not being calm at all. „Big time.”

„Gordon?” Spencer muttered, trying to figure out what's going on. „Bro. What the fuck?”

„I'm not your bro, Spencer. Never was. You guys done?” he asked, looking up at Charlie and Oz, who were moving another bag full of stuff.

„Almost.” Oz replied, effortlessly lifting the heavy bag off the floor and in the background Charlie laughed quietly and asked if he's going to pick her up as well.

„Anytime, babe. Anytime.” he then said nonchalantly and walked past Spencer who was slowly piecing things together.

„You fucking cunt.” he said quietly, angrily as Charlie was walking past him.

„If I were you, I'd watch your tongue, Spencer.” Oz said calmly, squatting next to him with a knife in his hand. „You might lose it.”

„You wouldn't dare.”

„Oh, but I would. And it'd be the greatest pleasure, to cut you into small pieces. But Charlie asked me to not hurt you, so...”

„Do you think she's in love with you, Cobblepot?”

„Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm going to keep an eye on you, Spencer. So you better watch yourself.”

„Are we done here?” Gordon asked, getting up.

„Almost.” Oz said, not taking his eyes away from Harry's face. „Wait for me outside.”

„What? No! I have one job here and I'm not going to fuck it up.”

„I'm not going to kill him, Gordon. I just want to have a friendly little chat with him. Imagine... There's someone else on the floor.”

„You know damn well that if it was Nygma I'd be the one with the knife. But fine. Have it your way.”

Oz joined them a few minutes later, putting his knife back in his pocket. Charlie didn't notice it, as she was facing the other way; Gordon only raised his eyebrows and shook his head with solemn disapproval.

„So, let's go. We need to put some ice on this eye.”

„You can always kiss it better.” Charlie said hesitantly. „I guess... This is the end.”

„I hope so. You're not going back to him, are you?”

„He hit me. He... He tried to...”

„Do you want me to chop his dick off? It can be arranged.”

„I just want to go home. Can I stay with you and Oswald for a while? I need to call my parents. Figure it out with them.”

„You can stay as long as you want to.” he said softly, handing her his spare helmet. „You can stay forever. We'll figure it out. It's not like money's any problem for any of us.”

„Can we go now?” Gordon asked impatiently, ruining the mood. „I have some stuff to do.”

Back home – where Oswald was waiting, all anxiety and stress and questions – he made her waffles, just the way she liked them. He – gently, carefully – kissed her black eye and put some cold compress on it.

„Hey, Oz?” she said eventually, as they were on a couch, her head on his lap, his fingers in her hair. „I love you.”

„And I love you, beautiful stranger.”

She laughed and he knew that she's going to be alright, one way or another.

[junkcrs]

GIMMIE ALL THE ANSWERS MY DUDE

Oh fuck off LMAO

1. Who is your defense main?Mei?? Junkrat??? I definitely have more hours on Junkrat lmao, but if we’re playing comp y’know I’m all about that gold gun Mei

2. Who is your support main?Imma go with Lucio, even though I play every healers at least decently, he’s my top played boy at what... 110 hours? from a flex players that’s a lot yknow

3. Who is your offense main?No thanks, I don’t have that much fun with DPS man, Pharah or Soldier are my best ones bc ez tbh LMAO

4. Who is your tank main?Trick question, all of them. I have the gold hammer but who doesn’t. Playing a shit ton of Winston too, have an impressive amount of hours on DVA and I am (was?? lmao) a solid hog. I play Zarya out of necessity in comp sometimes. Only one I don’t play is Orisa

5. Who is you MAIN main?Uh. IDK. Depends on if it’s QP or Comp. Like... Junkrat is in my top 3 most played and yet I never touched him in comp, etc. I just call myself a tank main ngl.... who has the most hours on Lucio I guess LMAO

6. Which character have you played the least?Orisa, then I think it’s Bastion, both under an hour

7. Which character do you want to learn how to play?Idk I’m pretty satisfied with my character pool, I GUESS a real decent dps but that’s lame

8. Which character do you dislike the most?Tracer whenever she talks tbh... Or Zarya but that’s just because I really don’t give a shit about Zarya

9. Which character’s background story do you like the most?Everyone knows it’s Hog lmfao, it’s so good dude like very little is said about it but at the same time there’s just so much and then so much more when you decide to really stop and think about it. Honorable mention @ winston too

10. Which character’s background story do you like the least?Hmmm there are quite a lot I just straight up find not interesting, Zarya, once again. Or like Pharah I’m so just...  lukewarm about it lmfao. I know literally 96% of the fandom disagrees but idc

11. Which map is your favorite?King’s Row, Numbani, Eichenwalde... Hybrids maps my dude. Lijiang except control point. Also in QP, Anubis defense is the stupidest shit

12. Which map is your least favorite?Oasis & Route 66

13. What Arcade game type is your favorite?Mystery heroes lmaaaao

14. What Arcade game type is your least favorite?Total Mayhem is.... not fun

15. Do you prefer quick play, competitive, arcade mode, or custom games?QP is my go to, but I love comp, especially since I stopped caring

16. Which map type is your favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?Hybrids, ez. Then KOTH, 

17. Which map type is your least favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?2CP tends to be pretty stale sometimes

18. Which event map was your favorite?Uprising is such an easy win. Fun PvE without getting repetitive  like Halloween

19. Which event map reskin was your favorite?Christmas King’s Row, it was so pretty man. I also really really liked spooky Hollywoods. Holiday themed maps are just fun

20. Which event was your favorite?I think Halloween was the one I had the most fun honestly, not so much the event but the winposes matching and it was the first time a map got reskinned and I remember just going through the map with my friends while we were all freaking out about it

21. Which event legendary skin was your favorite?Cruiser D.Va, Bajie Hog, Ironclad Torb, Witch Mercy.

22. Which event was your least favorite?Summer Games was pretty.... ok? Idk the lucioball was fun but beside that it was aight at best. Or maybe the anniversary event but then again nah... cuz the emotes and skins were on point.

23. Which event legendary skin was your least favorite?I GUESS Null Sector Orisa because it takes away her face and expressions like... pls.... give the ^ ^ back

24. Which event non-legendary skin was your favorite?Mako Hog, Junker DVa, Sunyatta Zen, Deadlock Torb, Daredevil 76 :^)

25. Which event non-legendary skin was your least favorite?Goth Zarya probably LMAO even though I sometimes use them just because theyre so laughably bad. Young shimada bros ain’t great either IMO, but I use young Hanzo because I only play Hanzo as a joke and I like getting the potg with the highlight intro where his hair is just blocking his entire face

26. Which event item do you most regret not getting?Junkrat’s intro 8( and all the voicelines i forgot to buy. 

27. Did you beat the Uprising event on Normal, Hard, Expert, and Legendary?Hard definitely, maybe expert? IDK I didnt especially try to get the achievements so idk

28. Do you have Sombra’s “Power Outage” achievement?Doubt it I don’t really play her

29. Do you have Widowmaker’s “Smooth as Silk” achievement?Yeah I remember I jumped off a roof while being chased by a reaper and just headshot him on the way down

30. Do you have Lucio’s “The Floor is Lava” achievement?Yeah, got it in comp on LiJiang it was great

31. Do you have Zenyatta’s “Rapid Discord” achievement?Yeah, Overtime Gibraltar is pretty fun

32. What was the first achievement you got? how the fuck do u expect me to remember this. The only achievement I clearly remember getting in the beta was junkrat one with the mine into trap thing but I know thats not the first

33. Did you get the “Not A Scratch,” achievement on Junkenstein’s Revenge?I dont think so

34. What has been the hardest achievement to get for you?Reaper solo kills lmfao

35. What’s your current SR score in Competitive Mode?Uuuh something around 2600? Idk I’ve been pretty bad LMAO especially since I get disconnects a lot :/ and also dont grind comp

36. What the highest you’ve been in Competitive?Diamond something like 3150 or so

37. What’s the most amount of placement matches you’ve won?7? Maybe?

38. How many gold guns do you have?Two, Rein and Mei

39. Which was the first gold gun you got?Big Hammer, bc it’s so obvious and I like smacking people with it

40. Whose gold gun do you currently want?I kind of always wanted the gold hook(tm) but now I’m not too sure with the nerfs :/ Maybe Winston LMAO

41. What role do you usually play in Competitive?Tank, or heals especially if its a KOTH map because of all these boops potentials

42. If you don’t play Competitive, why not?I do tho

43. What kind of theme event would you like to see in the future?Horrible beach party where no one has an actual revealing swimsuit save for roadhog

44. What type of character would you like to see in the future?More healers tbh, I’ve seen a lot of people ask for an evil healer and yea that sounds great

45. Who needs more (or better) skins in the future?See the logical answer would be widow or zarya yknow but no i mostly just want more junkrat even skins

46. What country would you like a new character to come from?Give us a french canadian hero

47. Favorite voice line?Junkrat’s multikills voicelines are what fuels me, Come out and play is a fave, and the ouverture singing. And Road and Rein just laughing at multikills too man

48. Favorite player icon?Have fish masterrace

49. Favorite emote?Lucio’s dance, Roadhog’s sit, Junkrat’s sit, Roadhog’s headbanging, Winston’s PB, Ana’s Candy

50. Favorite spray?PUNCH KID MASTERRACE

51.Favorite victory pose?I like when everyone is just squatting

52. Favorite highlight intro?I like all the ones where they shove their guns in your face so you can see how gold it is

53. Characters you ship the most?No I, don’t care............ I only ship Winston and happiness y’know it. I’m ok with some ships but I truly do not actively ship anything nor care about it

54. Characters you ship the least?Junkrat x anything makes me uncomfortable as all hell, I’ve never been so attached to another character not being interested in romance before, it just rubs me the wrong way. a lot

55. Characters you wish had more in-game interactions?Roadhog and anyone, don’t get me wrong, I love how he just doesn’t talk to anyone except junkrat (and mccree once to threaten him) and just talks to himself, but pls lmao. Also more torb and rein pls, their interactions are so fucking good lmao

56. Character you wish had a comic about?Lucio

57. Favorite comic released?Going Legit or the Bastion one

58. Favorite short released?Last Bastion

59. Favorite new character released?Grandma’s pretty tight

60. Overwatch, Blackwatch, or Talon?Uh Talon, I guess? Probs overwatch tho because at least we know what’s their goal beside ‘lmao we’re bad guys’

61. Pro-Omnic or anti-Omnic?I’m pro omnic yall know it

62. Favorite character that isn’t a playable one? (Ex: Emily, Brigitte, Gerard, Efi, etc.)Athena

63. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) that you liked the most?No more Junkrat self damage is fucking hilarious, and the whole Lucio changes are fucking incredibly fun

64. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) you liked the least?Roadhog 8( FeelsBadMan

65. Best ultimate?Rein is easily my fave one. It can be absolutely useless or you can get a team wipe with it if you use it well. It’s so satisfying

66. Worst ultimate?I would’ve said McCree but now it’s actually pretty good. Gotta say Hanzo’s pretty fucking horrid lmao

67. Most kills in game?shit lemme go see... In QP it’s 41 with Hog, in comp it’s 58 with D.Va ( I once got 50 with Lucio?? lmao )

68. Most heals in game?In QP, 16.8K with Lucio and in comp 37K with... also Lucio

69. What character do you think needs a nerf? D.Va’s DM probably...... lmao or a slight rework at least

70. What character do you think needs a buff?I’d really like if the hook cooldown for hog went back to 6 seconds, or listen... I’d love for torb to be actually decent, could you imagine... 

71. Have you ever rage quit in the middle of a game?Nope lmao

72. What’s the fastest you’ve won a game?Like a minute and a half on Volkskaya or something

73. What’s the fastest you’ve lost a game?Probably the same thing

74. Your best Overwatch-related story?I met some of my best friends through it, yes yes im looking at you, rayan :^)

75. Weirdest thing that happened to you on Overwatch?One night I got matched against all of my irl friends it was great and completely random

76. Platform you play on?PC, I own it on ps4 as a joke but it’s awful, I’m awful. lmao

77. Do you stream?If people asks 

78. Do you normally play solo or with friends?Friends usually, I don’t mind playing alone tho

79. Have you made any friends because of Overwatch?So many

80. Have you cosplayed a character from Overwatch?Nope, I’d make a nice mei tho i have the same glasses and i also happen to be evil

81. Have you ever wrote fan fiction about Overwatch?I never wrote fanfiction lmao but my blog... lmao

82. What’s the lowest you’ve been in Competitive?2400? 2300? we don’t talk about the end of season 4

83. In “All Brawls,” if you get “Charge!” do you play Reinhardt or do you pick the Lucio role?I don’t think I’ve ever played that, but I’d play lucio just for the boops

84. In “All Brawls,” if you get “One Shot, One ,” do you play Ana, Hanzo, or Widowmaker?Havent played either, id be fine with anyone tho 

85. In “All Brawls,” if you get “This is Ilios,” do you pick Lucio or Roadhog?i dont play brawls idk.......... lucio bc i can just jump on roadhogs heads and be safe

86. Team Genji or Team Hanzo?Team idc about shimada bros im so sorry

87. Be honest! Do you usually get on the payload?Im top 1% objective time lucio baby

88. Does your team?yeah cuz i dont play with morons lmao, even randoms im usually pretty lucky

89. What’s the longest session of Overwatch you’ve played?I dont think I want to know

90. No Limits, Mystery Heroes, or Total Mayhem?Mystery Heroes, ez

91.Most cosmetics you have for one character?I have most of cosmetics for everyone

92. Least cosmetics you have for one character?Orisa, she’s new

93. Have you ever made your own custom game?Nope

94. Best D.Va skin?Bruiser

95. Best Mercy skin?Witch? I think

96. Best Tracer skin?How about.... none........ jk the latest one was decent

97. Zarya’s Industrial and Cybergoth skins: yes, no, or HELL NO?all day everyday

98. Do you want more animal character, robot characters, or human characters?JET PACK CAT. id be down for... one more animal character, otherwise thatd be too much. another robot eventually, though we just got one. im fine with humans

99. Is there are character you’d get rid of completely?widow tbh, i dont care for her much lorewise, she’s french and also either 1. they’re mostly useless in a match or 2. good and simply unfun to play against

100. What do you think Sombra’s real name is?idk lmao ive never really bothered to think about that

[comfort-blankets]

*Headcanons*

Headcannon of werewolf!Mccree finding that his human s/o is pregnant with a small litter of werewolf puppies?

I would like to just start this off by saying that I love anything to do with werewolf McCree and demon Hanzo so if you have any McHanzo fic recs (that don’t have anything explicit in them) including these two topics in any way shape or form I would die happily.

Also at the moment of me posting this, my puppy has currently trapped himself in an existential crisis called a leash and doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I’m going to free him.

Hope you have a lovely day friend!! <33 

-Mod Cherry

I love you for sending me this request thank you.

Saying that McCree is careful is an understatement. Many people don’t want to date a monster, a man that turns beast during the full moon. A body that’s hard to control the urges of, the instinct to hunt, kill, and protect. He’s careful with his touches, twitches when his claws touch your skin by accident. A beast who would never dare harm you. This kind of McCree won’t be controlling or even stuffy with the amount of attention he gives in the slightest, but he will be incredibly protective.

Even before you were pregnant he would get pissy at the people around you when the full moon neared, when both the wolf and the man come together in the same state of mind and mark you as mate. During these times he would grow a little more animalistic, embarrassed about it at first from the way he’d need to change into bigger shirts, and wearing long sleeves to cover the hair growing upon his arms. He saw them as unattractive, and originally thought you’d see them the same way. He’d needed a lot of reassurance at first in the relationship.

He smells it on you much earlier than you tell him, but didn’t know how to place the sweet and feeble like scent until you finally told him. Jesse is afraid when he hears about it, but is quick to tell you that it isn’t because of the thought of children. His tears are happy, his entire being is ecstatic, but he is scared. It’s really whether you actually want them or not. The wolf in him swells with a strong protective streak, the man with one of love. Once he is sure that you’re okay with it, Jesse can’t help but just be a doting sweetheart. It almost gets annoying, how much he wants to do for you. But it’s in his biology, and right now to him you smell vulnerable. Which leads to the downside of being pregnant with his litter in daily life.

Jesse in no way thinks you’re below him, or that you’re weak at all. This mental state of mind that he has is to protect you and his unborn children from becoming too stressed, from being harmed by others, and from being wooed by others who seem strong enough to guard you better than him. He’s a wanted man, always yearned for children, but was always too terrified of losing them to his past sins. It would be all his fault. From these thinking traps he would grow terrified, showing his teeth like a mutt to other strong people around you simply to show them that you’re taken. They cannot have those pups, because they are his own. Gabriel used to chastise him for such a bad habit, often hitting him over the head whenever those pearly white canines came into view. “You’re not a fucking dog,” he said, “stop acting like one.” But now nobody is around to stop his animalistic snarling, and if there happens to be another werewolf on the team around you, he will fight them. You got angry at him for this, and he looked down at the ground with his hat to his chest the entire time you scolded him. His instincts get the best of him sometimes, and he never does it again.

Jesse does little simple things, nothing that he doesn’t ever do already, but along with this doggish state he’s taken he’s much more...nuzzle-y. Bumping the side of his head against your own softly, a content grumble from the back of his throat. He enjoys it when you wear his clothes, because it calms him down when you’re connected with his scent. A werewolf thing, he says, but he really just thinks that you’re the cutest thing. McCree becomes a walking heater, convenient in the cold months, and unshameful of any ‘tail wagging’ behavior. He used to enjoy being spooned the same as he did to you, but expect to always wake up being smooshed into a snuggly man’s chest throughout the duration of your time pregnant.

Morrison had to take the wheel in controlling how animalistic he would get, the combination of him and Angela making sure he took many times to stop and rest during his day from how exhausted he would get from insisting on doing everything for you. Even Zenyatta came in as a source of help, able to balance out both your pain and Jesse’s wild temperament. McCree was noticed to be more physically animalistic as well, his ears taking on a more pointed appearance, his arms as hairy as they are before a moon, body set thicker on top and much mightier than before, claws elongated sharply and ready to fight. Many of his facial features take change as well, his canines growing in, cheekbones higher and look more intimidating. It was incredibly interesting to Angela how his being was reacting, and the full moons were hell.

It was a long talk for 2 months on whether or not they should let you in there with him, Jack being highly against it for your safety and Angela arguing that Jesse was tearing the room apart slowly with how he was trying to get to you. You’d never been in the room before when he was like this, but with plenty of research and simple experiments you were finally allowed in. Morrison was stern and cared for your health, stating precautions and ways to get out like orders before Angela finally rolled her eyes and pushed you in there.

Okay, be honest. At first you were terrified to be alone with him, even if it was such a large room. They muzzled him up and tied him to only go halfway across the room in case you needed space the first day. The plan was proposed by Jesse, since he wouldn’t ever dream of harming you. Once they were sure that the beast wasn’t a threat, they finally let him free. The only human he wouldn’t rip to shreds, and a behavior gold mine for Angela. If you thought the human form of McCree was doting, then the beast form was even worse.

You were the only one who could come near him enough to tie him in order for you to leave, ear piercing snarls and lonely howls filling the base whenever they tugged you from his beastly arms. He was still the sweet Jesse you knew, making Morrison’s jaw drop when a werewolf snuggled up to your stomach and allowed you to pet him. He’d never expected that out of him, is what he shared with you later on, because McCree was always too proud to be pet like a dog. Now he wanted nothing more from his mate.

Any food given to him, for example as raw meats and such, was barely eaten by him, and always pushed the greatest portions towards you. It was strange, because Jesse was always known to eat so much during, before, and after the full moon. Of course you cannot eat the meat uncooked, which worried the wolf man endlessly, because he wanted so badly to be able to feed and support you. He also had a strange problem with trying to keep you warm, hiding you underneath his big shaggy body carefully as to keep you from the sight of others and make sure that the lowered temperature in the room didn’t affect you.

Overall, he has both his pros and cons to be around while you’re pregnant, but he’s trying his best. Instinctual nature can be hard to break, and he beats himself up about it silently sometimes. Never expect to be turned against, though. This boofy man will follow you to the end of the universe, and grows more and more excited when the day he gets to see his pups comes closer. You see lots of tears and shuddering stops when the thought of his past criminal acts coming back to hurt his children catch up to him, but you as a significant other help him through it. Even more tears await you once they’re born and Jesse’s sobbing from happiness, carrying little human bodies in his hands one at a time and having to stop to wipe his eyes. McCree is very open with his emotions towards you, thanking you for giving him a beautiful litter of pups, and promising to be with you every step of the way.

Spoiler alert: he does.

[dragonic-solitary]

The story That didn’t make it to Ao3...

The story never got into Ao3 because my FREAKIN PENDRIVE AND ACCOUNT DECIDED TO DIE, DIE, DIE ON ME...The reason I’m using bold letters is because I’m freakin pissed at the situation right now. But I managed to save this little gem. The story featured the kids a little older than the previous one...so yeah....Years skipping storiessss....anyway let’s continue...

I don’t Have a title...

Jesse is an overprotective father, so when James, Akira and Caden want to play outside of the facility, he’s cautious. He’s assigned for a mission in an hour and is partnered with Hanzo, so he leaves them in the care of Roadhog and Junkrat and Satya. He doesn’t know whether he will regret this or not yet.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 James, Akira and Caden wanted to play in the park a few blocks away from the base in a quite suburbia in L.A. They wanted to see more of the neighbourhood before they have to go back to Gibraltar. The six year olds search for their parents to have permission. They didn’t realize it’s a bit hard.

“Dad, come on, pleeeeeaaasseee?” Akira plead, her puppy eyes intensifies and her ears are folded on her head.

Jesse takes in a deep breath and smirks when the boys followed their sister’s pout and puppy eyes. “This ain’t like Gibraltar you know. And your momma and I won’t be there to watch over y’all. We have somethin’ to finish here first.” He tells them, his voice kind but with a pinch of worry. “Besides y’all could…”

“We could get hurt or found out or even get lost.” They voice out, Jesse stares at them in silent amusement and right then Hanzo walks in to see the little commotion.

“And besides, I want y’all ta stay close to us…”

“At all times. We know.” Caden.

“And if we see any strangers, don’t talk to them.” James.

“Come straight home.” Akira.

Hanzo chuckles as Jesse groans playfully.

“Can we go now? Pleeeaasee?” Their smiles big and eyes round. Clasping their hands together to make it look like they really meant it.

“Hmmm, very funny.” He chuckles out.

“Mind your father, children.” Hanzo pinches in. His stare a little stern, but voice light and soothing.

They giggle a bit and sighs a little, “Yes, mom.” They turn their stare to him.

“And besides, who’s gonna watch over y’all if when we’re not around. Hana is watching over yer sister and Lucio is with little Ame, who’s going to look after you?” He challenges, one brow raised high.

The three look over at each other and when they couldn’t name someone, their shoulders deflate, and little frowns are showing, Hanzo intervenes.

“Maybe Satya can watch over them. I mean, she is very fond of little Caden here and she has nothing to do this fine afternoon.” He smiles when the children run towards him and hugs his legs and middle. “Mom! You’re the best!!!”

Jesse’s smug grin drops when Hanzo voices out his idea. “Han, are ya sure? I mean…”

“Satya is more than capable of taking care of three children. Besides, she’s been wanting to spend some time with them all week. I say we give her the chance.” He cuts Jesse off and raises a challenging brow.

Jesse’s argument dies in his mouth and he sighs in defeat. “Alright, alright. But make sure you got yer communicators on.” The children turn and run to hug him as well and Jesse bends down to pick all three up. He nuzzles their cheeks and they nuzzle back. Akira and Caden purr loudly and Jesse’s chest gives a deep rumble. He puts them down on the floor and they run in search for Satya.

“And don’t run far from her! Keep yourselves in her sights at all times!” He yells out before the kids turn a corner.

Hanzo chuckles lightly. “If I remember correctly, they acted like a certain cowboy when he was just a child.” He muses, his eyes gives a tender look to his mate.

“Huh, What…?” He says distractedly, eyes to where the children disappeared.

“Who?” He looks to Hanzo and the neko chuckles lightly, tucking his head under Jesse’s chin.

“They’re just like you were when you were young in the stories that you’ve told me.”

“Exactly. If any stories from Gabe back when I was a little punk were any indication, imagine the troubles they could get themselves in.” He furrows his brows in worry and Hanzo playfully punches him in the chest. He then kisses Jesse on the cheek and nose.

“They’ll be fine, anata.” He turns and walks away, but not before giving Jesse a smile. He sighs again when Hanzo left the room and he makes his way to his room to pack some clothes and clean Peacekeeper. He passes the recreational room and hears Roadhog and Junkrat complaining over a show on t.v.

And by then an idea pops into his head. He walks up to them and tips his hat in greeting. They greeted him with a smile from Junkrat and a nod from Roadhog.

“Hey, fellers, I’ve got ta ask some help from both of you. Think you can help out a guy?” He asks casually. Sitting next to them on the couch.

“Sure, cowboy. What cha need’in our ‘elp for?” Junkrat asks, having just showered the smell of soot and gunpowder is barely on him.

“I need y’all ta keep an eye on my lil’ ones. They’ll be goin’ ta the park a few blocks from ‘ere. I just need ya ta watch from a distance. Think ya can do tha’ for me?” He asks them casually, but from the inside he’s praying that the two will agree.

“Wot’s in it fer us then?” Jamie smiles wickedly and Mako slaps the back of his head.

“What the fuck was tha’ for?!?!” He hisses at Mako, rubbing behind his head.

“We’ll do it, McCree. No charge needed.” The large man grunts. Junkrat grumbles angrily under his breath and nods along with Mako.

“Besides, Satya is takin’ care of the little tykes. So…” He’s cut off when Junkrat jumps up and whoops.

“We’ll take it!! Come on, Roadie! Not a day ta waste ‘ere!!” He runs out the door and Mako follows leisurely.

Jesse watches them walk away, a bemused look on his face. He breathes a sigh of relief and his shoulders felt a little lighter then. He gets up and continues his way to his room.

 ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 “Thanks for watching after us, Aunt Satya.” Akira says from her side, holding onto her hand as they make their way to the park. Caden on her other side, also holding onto her hand with James leading the way. Satya wears the most casual clothing she could find, and that’s a white button up and a pair of dark blue jeans. Her hair is tied back in a loose bun. The day is bright and she keeps a small handgun in the back of her pocket and a taser.

“Aunt Satya?”

“Yes, Akira?”

“Are you uncle Rat’s mate?”

Satya momentarily chokes on her tongue and she flails a bit. The red blush on her face intensifying.

“No! No, dear. W-why would you say that?” She inquires, face still red and heart beating fast.

“Naaah, I think it’s because Akira think you guys are cute.” Caden pipes out. His smile warm and look knowing. For a child, he seems wiser, considering his age.

“I need to stop you from hanging around Zenyatta all the time.” She huffs out.

“Noooooooo! Uncle Zen makes awesome juggling shows!” Caden gasps out, feigning fear.

“He uses his tele-ke-nictic powers. So they don’t count!” Akira harrumphs.

“Says you. I still think it’s a cool trick.” Caden sticks his tongue out at her.

The kids found her in the kitchen preparing tea, and when they asked whether she could take them to the park, she agreed instantly. But she did ask whether their parents knew.

Now, as they make their way to the park, they only stopped when they passed an ice-cream shop. She promises them that they’ll get ice-cream after they went to the park.

“I want butter fudge almond.” Caden suggests early on.

“I want strawberry.” Akira. Her eyes sparkling at the mention of the particular treat.

“Heh, I want rocky road. A man’s ice cream.” He puffs his chest proudly.

“Dad likes vanilla and strawberry.” Caden points out.

“Yeah, what makes you think that strawberries are for girls only?” Akira argued.

“Well, because you like the color pink! And strawberry ice cream is pink, so.”

“HEY! Don’t think that just because the color looks girly, doesn’t mean a man can’t have or like that kind of colors too!” She place one hand on her hip, looking much like Hanzo when he wants them to go to bed early.

“Okay! Okay. That’s enough. How did we even got into this argument?” Caden asks incredulously.

“She started it!” James point to her.

“Well, we women might started it, but we can also finish it!” She sassed. Chin sticking up high. Eyes challenging.  

Satya silently cackles over their little banter. Such a little spitfire you are, Akira. Your mother would be proud. Satya thought happily.

When they arrived, there was only a couple of kids playing around and they looked to her for permission. She nods and they run off to the playground. She walks to the lone bench and sits down, taking out her book from her bag that’s slung over her shoulder and keeps half of her focus on the kids.

It was hard at first when bringing them to a park. Then, they didn’t know which to be yet, people or pup or kitten. They would switch from time to time, which is adorable. Ame was a little late when he first transformed. And when he did, he was the smallest, white wolf they have ever seen. Jesse was a little worried at that time because of how weak Ame was. He would barely eat at times and when he does, he ate so little. But after a while, he grew a bit stronger. Jesse was a bit protective of him when he couldn’t handle being around the team, and when he cried, Jesse was there in an instant.

When one of them was sick, it was a conundrum. They didn’t know whether they need human treatment or a veterinary field of knowledge. They were a bit scared, but Angela gives and tried her best, and they always pull through.

Akira plays near the edge of the park, looking for hidden treasures to bring home to. Sometimes she would find an old silver watch, which is rarely, a few pretty buttons and lost earrings. They dubbed her a little treasure hunter when she would find any lost things back in base. Sometimes things that they lost for a while and forgotten.

“Hey, you don’t look like you belong here.” She mumbles to herself and sees one of those shiny pins that was on those round green thing. A…grenade, she heard the name of it when Uncle Rat threw the empty ones around. She grabs it and a rustle of leaves makes her look up to see a giant pig mask and someone with crazy looking eyes staring at her.

She lets out a scream and falls onto her bum. The two screamed in surprise when she screamed and they emerge from the bushes to apologize to the little girl.

Satya runs to them when she heard the screaming, but her worry was unfounded when she only saw Roadhog and Junkrat. She throws a mild death glare at them and came closer.

“Jamie, Mako, what are you doing here?” She asks, hands on her hips as she stares them down. They stand up a little straighter and Jamie laughs sheepishly, “Well, McCree sent us ovah ‘cause he wan’ed them lil’ ankle biters ta be in bett’ah protection.” He chuckles and stuffs his hand in his pocket.

Satya only hums, a bit peeved that McCree thought she needed help, but she couldn’t blame him. He’s just protective of his young ones. And it’s also the third time that they’ve been farther apart more than in a ten foot radius. She walks back to her bench as the kids run up to their uncles and proceeds to climb over them. Thank goodness that they’re wearing clothes to at least look decent. And Jamie seems to have taken the liberty to shower, because his face and hair are clear from soot and grease and it appears that he combs his hair a bit too. She blushes when he caught her staring, sending her a wink and she harrumphs and hides her face behind her book. Hiding her blush and the small smile when she hears the children laugh along with him.

They spend an hour chasing around the children in a game of tag and Caden seems to have fallen asleep on Roadhog, probably tired himself out. Akira was just showing Junkrat how to make flower crowns and he ended up making a nest for birds. She didn’t know where she went wrong.

Little James was swinging on the swings when he heard a whimper from the edge of the park. He turns around and sees a leg sticking out from some bushes. He runs to the, what seems to be an injured paw, and proceeds to call it out.

“Hey, buddy. Come on out. I’m here ta help.” His southern drawl was mild and Hanzo groans in amusement as Jesse whoops in excitement when he started to follow in his father’s footsteps. Hanzo just hopes that his firstborn would forgo a giant blanket around him and a similar cowboy hat.

The leg instantly draws itself into the bushes and a low growl came from the bushes. It rustles as a man and a vicious looking dog came out from behind. James tried to run, but the man was quicker. He grabs onto his leg and pulls him up. James starts thrashing and clawing at the man’s hand without turning into a wolf.

“Let go of me, you creep!!” He yells and growls in frustration.

“You got spirit on you, boy. We need that.” He grins wickedly, a few of his teeth missing and James grimace at the smell of his breath. James starts to scream and the man clamps his dirty hand on his mouth.

“JAMES!!” A yell reaches his ears and before he could see aunt Satya, but the man was already running away with his dog keeping Satya distracted.

When Satya heard James yell, she stands instantly and runs to where he is, the Junkers heard it too.

“Stay with them lil’ ones, Mako!!” He growls. Anger rolling off of him. He only ever uses his real name when he’s angry or upset. He runs to where the dog is barking at Satya. He growls and snarls viciously at it and the dog runs away, whimpering.

“Where’s James?!” He looks over at Satya and she points to where the man disappeared, tears of frustration running down her face and an anger boiling in her veins.

“I’ll catch him, you stay with Mako.” With that he takes a quick sprint and Satya walks over the others and stays close to them.

“Is James going to be okay?!” Akira cries out, her eyes scared and voice quivering. Satya hugs her and reassures her that Jamie will get him. Caden held onto Mako and the giant man rubs his back soothingly. His sobs muffled by his shirt.

Meanwhile Junkrat was burning with rage when he finally catches up with the fucker. He sees little James trying so hard to wiggle out of his hold and when the man only knocks him out, Junkrat was ready to tear this man to pieces while he still breathes! They turn a corner into an alley and Junkrat has to jump on a few crates to catch up to them. When a fence came to his view, the man quickly tries to jump over it. By the time he reaches the other side, Junkrat hears a scream of agony and a gruesome sound of flesh being tear apart reaches his ears. Junkrat jumps over the fence and sees the man on the ground, holding onto his missing hand to his chest with James half transformed. His wolf ears are out and his claws and mouth bloodied. His eyes are red and he’s panting. Junkrat walks closer to the boy and by the time he reaches him and puts a hand on his shoulder, James broke down crying.

“James, I want ya ta cover ya ears and close y’re eyes, a’ight?” Junkrat whispers to him and James nodded frantically. He tucks in his ears and transforms back to human and proceeds to do what he’s been told. He turns away and Junkrat turns to the whimpering man on the ground.

“That kid’s a monster!! What the fuck is he even?!?!” He wails and Junkrat kicks him in the face.

“If tha’ kids a monster, then I’m fuckin’ Lucifer ‘imself.” He grins darkly and the man’s eyes widen with unadulterated fear. His screams were unheard to James.

Junkrat wipes the blood off both of them with his shirt and burns it. Dumps what remains of the man in a bin and spills gasoline that he found near one of the apartments and burns him in the trashcan. He closes the lid, after punching a few holes on it, on the bin and picks James up into his arms. The bones and severed hand of the man was buried, meat still clung to it, and he leaves with a quite James in his arms.

They take another route to get to the park. They had to pass many maze like paths, but after a while, Junkrat asks James whether he could catch the scent of his siblings and the rest. He says he can and they made back before the sun sets.

When they got there, Satya runs to them both and takes James in a hug. She holds on to him so tight, it’s like she’s trying to let him stick only to her. And then she turns her attention to Junkrat, she pulls him into the hug and he envelops them with his long arms. Roadhog came too with the children and they held on to each other for god knows how long.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, James Joseph McCree!” Akira yells out. Her hands tight around him and they held onto each other as they cry in relief. Happy and glad that the other is safe. She mews quietly when he whimpers and they bask in the embrace of the adults. Caden holds on to both his siblings, hiccupping and shaking.

When they finally calm down, each adult holds onto one child as they walk back. Satya carries James, his hold tight on her. Roadhog carries Caden, his shaking has stopped for the moment. Junkrat carries little Akira, her hand outstretched towards James’s hand, making him walk closer to Satya.

“We should tell Hanzo and Jesse. They need their parents right now.” Satya speaks out, voice quite with a little tremble.

“They ain’t goin’ ta be ‘appy bout’it when we get back.” Roadhog grumbles out.

“No, I imagine they wouldn’t.” She whispers.

They weren’t prepared for the rage that Jesse threw when he found out, he smelt their distress the moment their scent was in range and he runs to them when they reached the entrance. He picked up his children and immediately they cried, their arms round him and he tries to soothe them, hopefully it will help calm him too.

When Hanzo finds out, he demanded the whereabouts of that lowlife of a human and Jamie reassures him that he was taken care of. His eyes darken and Hanzo can see a touch of darkness in them before he bows a bit in his direction.

“Thank you, for saving my son, Jamieson.”

“‘T’s al’ight, mate. Ya would’ve done the same thing ta us.” He grins.

“That’s it! The next time y’all decide ta go to the park, we’re sending Reinhardt and Zarya!” He mutters darkly, his fangs peeking from the bottom of his lips. Satya flinches at that, her inability to protect them hits her harder than expected.

“Now Jesse, they did their best to protect our children. Things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. They were only caught by surprise.” Hanzo tries to calm him down, but Jesse was having none of it. He passes the children to Hanzo so that he could blow off some steam by running on the gym’s treadmill. In his wolf form. Nobody was to disturb him at all when he’s in his full form. Afraid that he might accidentally channels his anger to them.

Hanzo turns to Satya, “I apologize for my mate’s behaviour. He didn’t mean what he said.” He sighs out. His hold on the children tight as they cling onto him.

“It’s fine, Hanzo.” She smiles sadly and she remembers something. “Your daughter is the feistiest little lady I have ever seen.” She laughs, the sound small and timid.

“Really?”Hanzo inquires, grabbing the opportunity for the change of subject.

“Yes. I believe it has something to do about masculinity and the color pink.” She lightly brushes her hand in the little girl’s hair.

“Really now? Tell me all about it.”

Hanzo’s presence helped calmed his children, but the bristles on his skin and the deep scowl on his face shows something else. After the small chatter with Satya, he brings the children to Angela to check them over and he gathers his litter together in the common room. The sense of them all together calms the burning rage in his blood and when Genji found out about the news, he was silent in his fury. He sits on the floor, near to his niece and nephews and Zenyatta followed suit. His calming presence helped in bringing the children to sleep and Hanzo changes into his full form. He had to ask for Genji to help remove the prosthetics and then he curls around the children protectively.

When the rest of the team hears about it, Hana quickly runs to the sleeping mother and children, Lucio following after, bringing his soothing music with him, Reinhardt bellows in anger, saying such profanities the gentle giant has never used.

“HOW DARE HE HARMS MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN IN ZUCH MANNER!!!”

Angela was not far from using her secret stash of poison, and Lena was cursing all seven of Hells. Mei was quiet and her face went blank. Nobody wanted to know what’s going on in her head. Zarya went to help Gabe in calming Jesse down. Jack runs to the children.

When Gabe and Zarya stayed with Jesse, he prowls the gym like a caged animal. Literally, except without the cage. He would growl and snap when they make a move towards him. Gabe has had enough so he walked up to the giant canine and stood his ground, face fierce and arms folded.

“Look niño, I understand what it’s like to almost lose your loved ones, I get it. But your kids need you right now. Leaving them scared and still fresh from the kidnap will only lead to disaster. They need their papi, mijo. You can sulk when the kids are feeling safe again. Now, go.” He gives a stern look when Jesse made no move, and he growls lowly when Jesse growls.

Jesse lowers his head and didn’t even bother to change back into human. Before he leaves, he bumps his head on Gabe’s middle and continues with his direction to his mate and litter. When he came to the common area, he sees Hanzo curled around them and half the team in the room. They give room for him to reach his family and when he nuzzles on Hanzo’s neck, the neko purred, happy that his mate is near. He nuzzles his nose to the litter to see them transformed and sleeping. Ame wakes up with a jolt and a whimper, causing James to shake and whine. He yips a little to comfort them saying that he’s there for them and he’ll won’t let anything happen to them. They calmed down, but James climbs up on Hanzo’s side so he could nuzzle his dad. Jesse picks him up by the scruff of his neck with gentle teeth and places him back into the litter. He licks James head when the pup yips in protest. The pup lies back down without further argument when Jesse lies down behind his mate. His head cushioned on Hanzo’s torso, nose poking into the litter. His presence calming them further and the litter settles back into sleeping.

Gabe comes in after and watches the little family cuddle in the middle of the room before he makes a beeline for his beloved, who’s sitting on a sofa closer to the litter. He watches them with a small fear lingering in his gaze. Gabe picks him up effortlessly and places him on his lap.

“I keep forgetting how small they are, Gabe.” He whispers out.

“Small? Huh, you couldn’t even lift the girls anymore.” He huffs out, a smile in his voice.

“Well excuse me, Mr I’m-too-old-to-give-piggy-back-rides.” He counters. Eyes narrowing dangerously.

“I’m not that old yet!” He pipes out.

Jesse huffs a laugh…let’s hope it’s a laugh. And Gabe narrows his eyes at him.

“65 is old you know.” Hana points out.

“Sssshhhhh. I believe you mentioned that being 19 already counts that you are an adult.” Genji points. “Thus meaning, how would you say it? ‘old-enough-to-have-creaky-bones’?” She didn’t need to know he was smiling smugly behind his visor. His tone is enough indication.

“Curse you, you fool!” She imitates Hanzo, the scowl she did was too exaggerated.

They share a little laugh when the night grew late. None wanted to leave the little family. They each take their pillows and blankets and changed to their sleeping attire and rearranging the sofas to make the common area look like a giant nest of soft pillows and blankets. The litter woke up in the commotion and they each took a favourite person to sleep with.

Akira and Anya sleep in between Jack and Gabe. Their arms thrown over them protectively. Caden sleeps in Satya’s embrace with Jamieson and Mako surrounding the two. Jesse had bumped his head to Satya’s middle as an apology and she runs her hand on his head as acceptance. James sleeps in his parent’s embrace, his face tucked in Hanzo’s furry neck and Jesse’s maw resting lightly on his back. Little Ame sleeps in Lena’s embrace, his fist holding onto her shirt tightly. Hana, Lucio, Mei and Zarya sleep around the outer parts of the nest, Zarya next to Mei and Lucio sleeping on the couch, his shoulder acting as an extra pillow to Hana. Reinhardt sleeps on the recliner with his hammer behind the seat. Zenyatta and Genji both taking on looking over them, since they didn’t need to sleep. Content to just watch over their family silently as they sleep.

They sleep around the parents with the soft sound of the waves from the open window acting as a lullaby to them. Hanzo and Jesse knew that the children are in the embrace of the most protective, loving family they could ever have, and they worry not one bit that the children will grow up happy and content.

I should also probably mention that this story was the out-of-date one, because there’re no Anyas in the McHanzo litter. Anya changed to Aiko...Sorry for all of those that got confused o_o’ 

[puckish-saint]

Hello love! Hope your day is going well. I have a request! If you're interested. How do Genii and/or McCree react when they admit their romantic feelings to their best friend, only for their friend to tell them that they see their relationship as strictly platonic.

can I please have some mccree and reader or genji and reader angst? injury or kidnapping or something, as long as it is ANGSTY

McCreeHe whistles a tune while he waits forthe coffeemaker to finish, stroking his freshly shaved face. He didleave some beard, he’s not about to make the mistake of cleanshaving again, but it’s neatly trimmed, even waxed to keep everyhair in perfect place. “You’re in high spirits.” Satya saysfrom over her tablet, giving him a once over as if she suspects hemight have been brainwashed. “And did you get a haircut?”

“Dead on.” He makes finger guns ather, not admitting that this has been his first professionally donehaircut in six years and that he still hasn’t gotten used to theway his hair tickles his nape. “New shirt, too.”

“I noticed. Looks good, man.” It’sLúcio this time who has to comment, but he’s far from the last.Everyone, as they slowly trickle in for some fresh buns or at least amug of coffee, notices his effort to clean up. Jack half-seriouslytries to remember the last time Jesse bought new clothes and wondersaloud if he missed the memo for another UN meeting.

“I bought clothes in the lastseventeen years.” Jesse says a bit defensively, but not even theteam’s fond teasing can ruin his mood. He’s finally made up hismind to tell you about his feelings and he’s got it all plannedout. There’s a bunch of red roses waiting to be picked up at theflorist at the corner and he’s practiced his speech for days. Latertoday, when both your duties shifts have ended, you’ll be hangingout as you always do and he’s going to confess his love.

Only that nothing goes according toplan. An emergency with the base-wide AC forces him to polish the oldhandyman skills and get his hands, hair and new clothes dirty. By theend of a shift that lasted hours longer than it should have he’scovered head to do in grime and dirt. The shirt he bought was hisonly new one and so he has to resort to wearing, after a quickshower, one of his old ones, washed out and patched up almost asoften as he himself has been. No matter what he does with his beardit simply won’t lie as nicely as it has that morning and eventuallyhe gives up, brushes the wax out and settles for a look that’sstill somewhat better than usual. He hopes.

He hasn’t stepped out of the doorwhen you send him a text, telling him that since your usual routinegot delayed you took to spending the afternoon with Hana and Genjiand he should join the three of you in the recreation room.

The roses therefore stay in the vase,he’s not going to confess in front of everyone, he wanted it to besomething special and now fears it won’t be anything at all.Somehow he manages to keep face throughout the rest of the day,laughing along to Genji’s jokes, losing to Hana in a game of chess,embarrassing himself in front of you, and pretending he doesn’thave the confession of a lifetime lying on his tongue.

At some point you excuse yourself toget drinks for everyone, including Fareeha and Zenyatta who justjoined, and he sees his chance by offering to help. It won’t be onthe rooftop watching the sunset as he planned, nor will his now lessthan dashing looks inspire you to swoon in his arms and the roseswill have to wait until after, but he still has his speech. He stillhas his heart ready to wear on his sleeve.

“You got a minute?” he asks themoment the kitchen door falls shut behind him.

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

Jesse swallows, takes a deep breath tosteady his pulse thrumming rapidly under his skin and starts.

“Wanted to tell you somethin’that’s been on my mind lately. You’re ma best friend, hell I cancount the number of people who cared for me the way you do on onehand. You’ve become real special t’ me, darlin’, and I … I …”He breaks off as your face falls. You’re not wearing theexpression of someone shocked but overjoyed to hear their secretcrush is reciprocating their feelings. Your face is that of someonewho just had the L-bomb dropped on them out of nowhere and doesn’tknow how to say ‘no’ in the least hurtful way possible.

While Jesse fidgets with his shirt, hechastises himself for never even thinking about this outcome. Healways imagined you falling into his arms, all too happy to progressyour friendship to another level.

“Jesse, I … I’m sorry.” you sayand you are, he can see that much, you really are sorry for having tosay it. Not that it helps his broken heart anything. He tries hishand at a reassuring grin but barely manages a grimace of a smile.

“Nah, it’s okay. Don’t need tosay anything, I got it.”

“You’re a wonderful person, youare, but-”“Nothin’ t’ be done, I know.” Oh God, he’sgoing to cry. He’s going to cry right in front of you unless hegets out of here fast. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’llget over it.”

And to show how well he’s alreadygetting over it, nevermind he’s just trying to flee withoutarousing suspicion, he picks up the tray of drinks and walks back tothe others. They immediately see something is wrong.

“Jesse …?” Fareeha says, brushinglightly against his arm.

“‘S nothing.” he lies and then,as an afterthought, pulls out a piece of paper out of his jeanspockets and lays it on the table. “Won’t be needin’ thatanymore. Figure one of you might have better use for it.”Hewants to leave right away but Hana’s gasp forces him to stop.

“That’s a reservation for thefanciest restaurant in this country. The tables are booked out half ayear in advance. How the hell did you get this?”He shrugs,keeps his back turned so no one can see him fighting with the tears.

“Doesn’t matter. Should probablyget some shut eye, though. Was thinking about hitting the road againsoon. G’night, yeah?”

Not even Fareeha’s concerned ‘Jesse,wait’ can hold him back. He all but runs to his quarters, sinksagainst the wall the moment he’s locked the door. He feelspathetic, weak, like the biggest idiot in existence. Most of all hefeels like running away.

No one, and nothing is there to stophim, either. He’s gone before dawn breaks, taking the earliesthypertrain out of Gibraltar.

He runs as far as he can and when he’sthere he’ll keep running just the same. Anything to avoid having tolook at you every single day and know you’ll never love him.

Genji

It starts with him, barely hanging onto life by mechanical threads he already despises, and you, confinedto the sick bay with a broken leg.

You try to get his attention, but don’tknow his name yet and resort to increasingly creative nicknames.Genji ignores them all. He’s focused solely on the thought ofrevenge. Or he tries to be focused, failing as you keep trying to gethis attention.

“What?” he finally snaps. Yourecoil from the force of his words but catch yourself quickly andgrin.

“You wanna trade my jelly for yourfruit cup?” you ask and at this point he assumes you just don’tlike the chemically tasting jelly that’s part of your hospitallunch. Just to spite you he says no, hoping to gain any kind ofsatisfaction from this. He doesn’t.

But you stick around.

Even after your leg has healed youalways seem to hang around the clinic when he’s there to receivefurther enhancements. More than once he wakes from surgery to findyou slumped in a chair nearby, catching up on sleep everyone elsetells him you haven’t been getting a lot.

Eventually your presence becomesbearable. Even later it becomes comforting.

Now when he has to report to Dr Zieglerfor another treatment - his mostly organic lungs are rejecting themechanical transplants and have to be replaced - he expects you to bethere and is not disappointed.

You lie together in the hospital bed,watching a movie on the laptop resting on your legs. It’s inEnglish and you’ve turned on the subtitles without a word, knowinghe still sometimes has trouble understanding every word. Resting hishead on your chest he doubts you do this with all your friends. True,he’s used to being tactile, downright cuddly with the friends heused to have before, but he’s no longer human. His artificial skinfeels wrong, too cold, with too little give. No one would want tocuddle with him just out of platonic affection. Or that’s how hetries to reason with himself. There is something deeper between you,there has to be. Over the last months he’s grown closer to you thanhe has with anyone else in his life. You, more than all thescientists in this hellish place, have saved his life by making himwant to live.

A lull in the movie’s plot urges himinto action. He turns a little, uncomfortable with the unnaturalstretch of his fake muscles, and pulls himself up enough to press hislips to yours.

He knows right away he’smisinterpreted all the signs. He knows and he still doesn’t stop,presses forward, hands curling into the collar of your top, pleadingwith you to just let him have this for one more moment.

You push him away, gentle but firm,pity crossing your face. He can’t bear looking at it.

“Genji … look, I-”“Yeah no,I get it.” he says and pushes himself off, turns his back to you.“Lead me on and have your laugh but when it comes to deliveryou’re-”“It’s not like that-”“The fuck it is.”He’s being unfair but can’t stop himself. Not with the hurtburning in his chest.

“Genji.”“Get out. Just getout.”You stay, try to reason. When you reach out to hug him hesnaps. Whips around and punches you in the chest, throws you off thebed. Only the wires and tubes attached to him prevent him fromfollowing.

“Get out!” he screams, throws thefirst thing he can reach which just happens to be the laptop. Youcatch it, scramble to your feet, throw him one last look and leave.

Dr Ziegler passes you by on your wayout, wants to check with her patient. Genji makes her go away, too.

In the end he’s alone to regret hisoutburst. To wish you’d come back, tell him it was all amisunderstanding. That you do love him, that he hasn’t ruinedeverything.

You don’t come back and Genji doesthe one human thing he has left, the one thing no omnic can mimic. He buries his head in his pillow and cries.

[lyraeon]

So after the sixth such incident in three days I’m finally finishing this post. I feel like I am not the right person to write it but it’s honestly not that serious of an issue so HERE WE GO.

PSA to Overwatch players who don’t play healers:

Learn how the healers work. Please. I’m not telling you you have to play them, I’m telling you it’ll make life easier on you AND your healers if you know how to help them help you stay alive.

I cannot tell you the number of times someone has been standing right next to me while I’m Lúcio with the heal beats going and started saying “I need healing” over and over. Lúcio gets a boost every 15 second that lasts like 3 seconds, but otherwise it’s a 12.5 hp/s passive heal and you’re gonna take a sec to get your health back. Contrary to weirdly popular belief, his sound-waves do not heal you like Ana's gun does, so he can't shoot you to heal you faster. Your Lúcio is not ignoring you, he is healing you as fast as he can, friend. If you need health that urgently, go grab a health pack, especially if it’s down time between enemy rushes (which it almost always is). Otherwise be patient and he’ll turn that shit up as soon as he can. Also don’t panic and spam that you need heals the instant he goes speed beats, either, when you haven’t even taken damage yet - I promise you, if your Lúcio is even halfway decent, he’s paying attention, and the first time anyone turns orange or more than one person is yellow you will be healed. Having his speed on when everyone’s full both makes you all harder to hit and builds his ult faster, so he’s gonna switch it sometimes. P.S. his abilities are line-of-sight, not area of effect, so he’s got you even if you’re on the other end of the hallway... but not on the other side of a wall. Took me a minute to figure that one out and that was playing him.

Zenyatta is not Mercy. He cannot race anywhere. He is a slow little robot in no hurry in this life. If you leave line of sight on him, like being on top of a building, for more than a couple seconds, he can’t keep healing you. Don’t get on mic pissed and ask why he took his walnuts of healing back off you when you’re the one who went somewhere you can’t get without flying, or sped off around several corners to somewhere it’s going to take him 15 seconds to catch up to. Why the fuck, you then ask, would someone pick Zenyatta over Mercy or another healer? Because he can provide damage boost for your whole team against a single player, instead of for a single player, he can heal and fight at the same time, and there isn't an obvious link from who he's healing to him like Mercy has (not that most Zenyattas will actively hide).

I have seen 500 Mercy-specific PSAs so I will keep that one short and basic: she has to be able to see you to fly to you. Also, she is probably not going to solo-res you, sorry.

And finally Ana. She has to be able to see you. (See a pattern here?). The nice thing with her is she just has to be able to get her crosshairs on you, she doesn't have to be close enough to get a targeting reticule to show up. Of course, the lack of auto-targeting means you SHOULD STAND THE FUCK STILL if you've asked one for healing and you aren't in immediate danger. That crosshair needs to be on you! It doesn't focus, not any more than aim assist allows for, and the further she is the harder it is to hit your zig-zagging, anxiously hopping ass. Chances also are she is not going to throw her grenade at you unless there's a whole group who needs healing, because it's her only means of healing herself (which does mean that if she's close to you and has taken damage, you can go wander over next to her and she'll gladly splash you both with life juice). Your Ana is the most likely healer to get distracted though. If you have two healers, or if another healer has suddenly changed to Ana, either she's being plowed down while hanging out next to all of you and wants to heal from a safe distance, or she has decided that she wants to be Widowmaker but without depriving you entirely of healing. This is not a bad thing generally - Ana can three-shot a Bastion while it's busy trying to take down a Reinhardt or D.Va. That is, assuming someone doesn't step in front and make her heal them instead, which is also fine, but you can see how frustrating it can be when you're trying to kill something and instead your full-health teammate takes the shot.

If any of these concepts confuse you, I recommend going and playing a quickplay game as the healer you least understand. It's quickplay, people are not going to judge much, and will be grateful if you say you're trying to learn if they do whine at you about it. You can go fight AIs if embarrassment theoretically concerns you. If it still confuses you, I've inadvertently talked out my ass and you should go listen to a Grandmaster instead of someone who's barely broken 100 hours on the game.

There you have it. Hopefully you can now avoid being the Winston I encountered today on Anubis Quickplay who stared at me for a good nine seconds, said "I need healing!" three times when the health pack closest to spawn was closer to him than I was, then gave up, went back inside, and turned into a Roadhog (who ALSO begged for healing CONSTANTLY the whole match).

Thank you for your time.

(P.S. As someone who is a Bad Healer at times, I will assure you, if your healer is legitimately ignoring you in some form you CAN spam the need heals button. The notif exists for a reason. Most of us can tell the difference between when we have failed you and when you're being a moron, and if we can't, we're a prick who shouldn't be healing.)