#It is also hitting me that gravity falls was released 12 years ago

[underdressedgoth]

Yeah I'm aware I'm turning 21 in about a month but what the fuck do you mean 2012 was 12 years ago?!

-me to my brain after realizing 2012 wasn't 8 years ago

[daleisgreat]

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

A movie podcast I listen to, The Big Picture, did a recent episode on the 10th anniversary of 2010’s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (trailer). Coincidentally enough, that film remains in my backlog box all these years later, so I made sure to re-watch it before giving that podcast a listen. For those unfamiliar with this film, it is based on a series of six graphic novels of the same name by Bryan Lee O’Malley released between 2004 and 2010. The basic gist is that Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) falls for newcomer to town, Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). In order to win her over Pilgrim has to defeat Ramona’s “Seven Evil Ex’s.” Scott spends the rest of the film exploring Ramona’s mysterious past and dueling her ex’s while practicing with his band, Sex Bo-Bomb, as they progress through a battle of the bands tournament. Sex Bo-Bomb is one slick act! Stephen Stills (Mark Webber) is the doom-and-gloom frontman of the band. Kim Pine (Alison Pill) is a 2010 take on Daria and effectively nails her vintage expressionless glares and blunt quips. Young Neil (Johnny Simmons) is the affable, DS-loving, always ready alternate for Sex Bo-Bomb. Their #1 fan and also other girlfriend of Scott Pilgrim is one Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). Knive’s arc is probably my favorite of this ensemble cast as her journey from adoring fan and girlfriend to her final destination is a fascinating quest to see develop and a faithful translation from the books.

I first heard of the books on the videogame podcast, Team Fremont Live where they reviewed the first book and their breakdown of it caught my attention when they dissected all the nonstop videogame references that are peppered regularly throughout it. The film captures that imagery to a T where it feels like Pilgrim is living in a real life videogame. In this world suspending disbelief is required because it is jam-packed with extraordinarily choreographed battle scenes, makes anyone capable of instantly pulling off bombastic martial arts moves in the blink of an eye without any training whatsoever, and quirky little animations of objects like Mario Bros.-esque coins and pixelated items inserted throughout that any videogame fan will pick up on. The fighting game fan in me popped a little each time a thunderous “KO” blared out each time Pilgrim emerged victorious after an evil ex duel. As a lifelong fan of videogames, it was fun picking up on all the references and Easter eggs in the background throughout. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World hit at an interesting time where Michael Cera was the only established star at this point in 2010 and was riding the last wave of critical success coming off of Arrested Development, Superbad and Juno. Brandon Routh is noteworthy appearing here as one of the evil ex’s after flaming out in his single appearance in a Superman film. However, a few other stars are here right before they exploded into bigger success like the aforementioned Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Chris Evan is here as another evil-ex shortly after his two Fantastic Four films, but a year before donning the Captain America costume for the first time. Anna Kendrick is here in a small role as Scott’s sister Stacey while in the midst of her initial Twighlight run. Finally, Brie Larson is here as Scott’s evil-ex, Envy Adams and she is the lead for her band, Clash at Demonhead in my personal favorite musical performance of the film as they belt out “Black Sheep.”

It is worth repeating that I highly recommend suspending all disbelief going into Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and simply roll with it. The battle scenes are a hoot to take in and feature a ton of CG that holds up well ten years later. It is also worth pointing out this film is part absurd videogame battles, part early 20s love triangle drama and to a lesser extent part musical with several performances from Sex Bo-Bomb and other bands throughout the film. Director Edgar Wright tracked down a few bands to play the tracks for some of the featured bands in the film such as Beck performing the handful of Sex Bo-Bomb songs in addition to a slew of other tracks from artists like The Rolling Stones and Blood Red Shoes that perfectly supplement the outlandish tone of the film. It is not too often on here I recommend hunting down the soundtracks for a film, but the soundtrack for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World I wholeheartedly recommend! I think the Scott Pilgrim vs. the World BluRay may have set the record for amount of extra features for a single film in the near seven years of movies I have covered on this blog. A rough tally on my notes gives an approximate sum of nearly five hours of bonuses, and then four feature length commentary tracks on top of that! I will not detail every bonus, but will give some highlights of the ones that stood out for me. There is just under a half hour of deleted scenes with or without commentary from Edgar Wright. Most of them are extended scenes from the first act to trim out excess background info, but an alternate ending is what stood out the most that Wright explained he changed because it did not go over that well in test screenings. I can always appreciate a good blooper reel, and an excellent 10 minute reel is compiled here that I would rate right up with the stellar ones in the Marvel films.

There are three features grouped together in the ‘Docs’ section of the extras tallying up to a little over an hour. If you only had time for one of the five hours of bonuses I would go there because that has the core making of documentary which breaks down collaborating with Bryan Lee ‘O Malley, nailing the casting, detailing the extensive stunt training and interviews several of the bands about being featured in the soundtrack. Speaking of the soundtrack, there are four music videos included. Definitely check out the four minute animated short, Scott Pilgrim vs. Animation that is essentially a prequel to the film that dives into Scott and Kim’s former relationship. There are 12 ‘Video Blogs’ totaling 45 minutes that are raw on set interviews with the cast and crew between takes that sees the crew up to all kinds of mischief to kill downtime. This BluRay easily has the largest photo gallery of any home video I have covered with several hundred photos. One gallery is labeled ‘storyboards’ but each storyboard panel is nearly identical to the excellent quality of the art in Bryan Lee O’Malley books so that is essentially a free comic book adaptation of the movie buried in the extras! I experienced all four of the commentary tracks in one re-watch of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World via jumping around to a different commentary about every five minutes. Edgar Wright is on two of them, one with Bryan Lee ‘O Malley and writer Michael Bocall and the other with photography director Bill Pope. The other two commentaries are split among nine cast members, with Michael Cera and the rest of the leading cast on one and the ancillary cast members on the other cast commentary track. Wright has tons of nonstop insight and production facts on his tracks, and the cast tracks are have a lot of fun anecdotes such as Cera failing at trying to get additional people on the commentary via phone call. On top of the commentary I had on during my re-watch was also a factoid subtitle track to really take in the extra features. Despite going on now for three paragraphs about the bonus features, I think I only touched on about half of what is available, and it is truly astonishing to see how much they crammed into one BluRay disc.

A part of me thought going into this that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World would not hold up after 10 years. I would chalk that up to thinking I may have got easily won over with all the hype from being vastly into the books back then and being too caught up into the build to the film’s initial release. I can put those reservations to rest thankfully as I immensely enjoyed this ode to videogame fandom as much as I first did in 2010. Throw in a plethora of extra features to last all year to make Scott Pilgrim vs. the World one of my highest recommendations yet! If you want even more commentary from me about this film than below I have embedded the podcast I originally recorded 10 years ago shortly after seeing the film on its opening weekend. I bring on a couple other special guest hosts that are also ardent Scott Pilgrim fans and we review the film, soundtrack, the books and the videogame. Enjoy!

I brought on a couple other Scott Pilgrim experts on as guest hosts on my podcast to review the film, books, videogame and soundtrack shortly after they all released 10 years ago. Check it out in the embed above for more Scott Pilgrim goodness or click or press here to queue it up for later. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[immortalghostkami]

Like the Sun and the Moon

Chapter 5: A Mother’s Sorrow

Chapter Index

As the last rays of light finally disappeared behind the horizon, Makoto gave a quick prayer at the shrine, apologizing to the god for what was about to ensue.

Inosuke sat impatiently waiting, his irritation growing by the second. All he’s been doing since pairing up with Makoto was waiting and he was getting annoyed. He wanted to fight, not sit around!

“Hey! Kontomo! How much longer do I gotta-!” but he cut himself off as the sound of rippling water caught their ears.

Eyes darting to the shore, Makoto stood up, placing a hand on the hilt of her katana.

“Inosuke, remember what I told you during Final Selection?” she whispered, creeping over to him.

“Nope!” he grinned, anticipation building up in his veins.

“I can’t fight head-on, so I’m leaving this part to you,” she informed, before jumping off and disappearing into the shadows.

“That’s fine by me! You go and hide and I’ll show you why I’m the greatest!” he cackled, running towards the shore and swinging his blades.

Jumping out of the water, the demon landed behind Inosuke. Swinging her webbed claws, he easily dodged and sliced off her arms.

Watching her stumble back, Inosuke cackled at her pained yelp.

The demon was soaking wet with unruly long, black hair. It looked almost like kelp as it stuck to her slimy, bloated skin. Her kimono hung loosely on her frame, and what had once been a pale pink was now muddied and discolored, turning rotten shades of green, brown, and gray. 

She reeked of lake water and decay, but there was also some kind of sweet, underlying iron smell that seemed to surround them as well. It was faint, so faint Inosuke was a little surprised he even noticed it, but the combination of it and the demon burned his nose.

“Ugh, you smell as gross as you look,” Inosuke gagged.

“I won’t let you…” she muttered, repeating it over and over again.

“I won’t let you separate me from any more of my children!” she stretched, revealing large whited out eyes and a mouth full of pin-like teeth.

Regrowing her arms in an instant, she charged at Inosuke once more, slashing and screeching. Her voice was loud and ear-piercing, causing Inosuke’s ears to ring.

“They’re mine! They’re mine! I won’t let you take them!” she screamed, causing Inosuke to flinch every time he got too close.

“They’re mine! I took them fair and square!” she screeched. 

She was so loud Inosuke was starting to get a slight headache. Pushing himself off a tree, Inosuke flew straight at her.

“Beast Breathing, Sixth Fang: Palisade Bite!” he shouted, slicing off her arms.

Stumbling back, she was just barely able to dodge his attack. Getting her mouth sliced instead of her neck. 

Panting heavily, the demon was starting to feel drowsy, making it hard to think straight. She was just fine a little while ago, so there was no way she could be this tired already!

That was when she smelt it. A delectable smell.

Before the demon could react, however, Inosuke flung at her once more. Still recovering from his previous attack, the demon’s kelp-like hair flew towards him. As if it had a will of its own, the clumps of slimy black hair reached for Inosuke in an attempt to tie him up. Overwhelming fear only filled her, however, as Inosuke easily cut through them, flying closer and closer.

“Nooo!” she shouted, his cackle ringing in her ears as she shielded her face with her arms.

Squeezing her eyes shut she could hear Inosuke shouting his attack when the sound of metal banging against something hard rang throughout the air. 

Opening her eyes, the demon found an extremely large turtle-like creature blocking the attack with its shell. 

The delicious smell from earlier was now gone too.

Landing between Inosuke and the demon. The turtle’s body was an amalgamation of human body parts. It had the head of a child whose face had started morphing into a turtle, and its neck and limbs were covered in thick scales. On its back, it wore an extremely large shell, the ridges looking like that of a baby’s face.

“What the-!” Inosuke cursed before the she-demon cried out.

“My baby!” she howled before multiple sharp pricks pierced her back.

Whipping around, the mother demon found multiple darts stuck in her, but not who shot them. While she pulled them out and threw them to the side, the turtle demon didn’t even realize it was also shot while it threw a punch at Inosuke. Despite its size, it was much faster than its mother. 

As the fist grew closer, Inosuke felt a cold thin metal wrap around his torso that roughly pulled him back. Twisting his body into a backflip, the metal released him and allowed him to land safely. 

“Sleep Breathing, Third Form Modified: Dream Catcher, Catch-and-Rescue!” Makoto breathed. 

She was out of breath and dripping in a cold sweat. Where had that turtle come from? She was so focused on staying hidden while wafting the smell of her blood around the island that she hadn’t noticed it emerge from the lake.

Looking up, Inosuke found Makoto’s back to him with the hilt of her sword in her hands. He watched in awe as the 12 toothed metal wipe snapped back together with a flick of her wrist. 

That’s when he noticed the cut on her forearm. 

“I’m sorry Inosuke, are you alright?!” she shouted over her shoulder, eyes never leaving the pair in front of her.

Snapping out of his daze, Inosuke hollered, “I didn’t need your help!”

“And why are you bleeding?!” he demanded, charging back towards the two demons.

“You don’t have to concern yourself with that, we have to defeat these two!” Makoto responded, dodging the question while looking for the demon’s weaknesses.

“You didn’t answer my question!” Inosuke snapped before getting cut off by the turtle demon.

It lunged at them, aiming to crush the two demon slayers under its fists when they dodged. 

Stumbling, the mother demon cursed, “You brat! What did you shoot at me?!”

She was starting to see double and the world seemed to spin. Each breath she took seemed to grow shorter and shorter, and gravity on land only grew heavier.

“The lake! I need to get back to the lake!” she panted, panic settling in her bones.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Inosuke declared, running towards her only to get intercepted by the turtle again.

Jumping back, Inosuke growled, “That stupid thing is annoying!”

Charging at it once more, his blades only violently rang out as they hit its back or arms.

“The stomach! Its weak point is its stomach!” Makoto shouted, readying her sword as she realized it was protecting its soft underbelly.

“I already know that!” Inosuke shouted, charging towards the demon once more.

Steeling her nerves, Makoto didn’t have time to overthink or hesitate. She knew what she was getting into when she decided to become a demon slayer, Sanemi warned her countless times.

Turning her sword to herself, the two demon’s snapped their heads to her. The smell of her blood drew their attention away from Inosuke.

Instantly, the strong smell of flowers flooded their noses. Lilac, Jasmine, Lavender, and Roses among the disgusting amount of scents. It was so strong, even Inosuke could vaguely smell the floral scent hidden under the iron of blood.

The mother demon was practically crawling at this point towards the lake as her child’s movements slowed. Bringing a hand up to cover its nose, the turtle demon let out a loud roar.

“Inosuke now!” Makoto cried, grabbing the hilt of her sword and running forward.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” he hollered.

“Beast Breathing, Second Fang: Rip and Tear!” he shouted, slicing the turtle's belly open.

“My baby!” the mother demon screeched, looking over her shoulder.

Landing on top of the turtle, Inosuke’s eyes were barely able to catch the blur that sped past him towards the remaining demon. 

Reaching out for the now shrinking turtle, the demon’s eyes widened as she was suddenly surrounded in a soft, floral mist. In front of her, was herself. The image of who she was before becoming a demon. In her arms, she cradled the child she had lost many years ago.

“Yoshi…” she croaked, only to snap back reality.

“Sleep Breathing, Fourth Form: Sleep Paralysis,” Makoto whispered, slicing the demon’s neck in one, swift motion.  

Rolling to soften her landing, Makoto stood up. Looking back as the mother demon’s body collapsed to the ground, her head didn’t fall far.

“Yoshi…!” she cried, tears pouring from her eyes.

“No, please! Please stop! You’ll kill ‘em!” she begged, trying to drag her body towards Inosuke and the tiny turtle.

“The hell ya yapping about?!” Inosuke snapped, realizing Makoto had played him.

She had planned this. She used those special smells of her to mess with the demons while Inosuke fought. While hiding, she pinpointed their weaknesses from their fight and planned accordingly. But the worst part? 

He didn’t sense a single drop of bloodlust from her during their entire fight.

Following the demon's outstretched arm, Makoto turned to the crying turtle under Inosuke’s foot. The mother demon was desperately reaching for it, but the sleep darts Makoto had shot into her body had already taken effect.

Sheathing her sword, Makoto made her way over to Inosuke. Softly pushing him aside, she ignored his irritated comments and picked up the crying turtle. The two demons were already disintegrating when Makoto placed it into its mother’s arms.

Cradling it close, the mother demon cooed, “Shh, shh. It’s okay now, mommy’s got you.”

Despite turning to ash, the mother demon felt no pain as she held her little one close. Rubbing its head, she sang to it lovingly. Its cries softening until they were nothing more than whimpers and gurgles.

Watching the mother demon sing her baby to sleep, Inosuke couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of Deja Vu. The fuzzy memory of being held flashing into his mind. There was a gentle smile that sang something to him.

Kissing her baby one last time, the two’s bodies disappeared. The gentle breeze blowing specks of their ash away.

“It seems… like her baby was of her own creation…” Makoto whispered, her voice lost in her throat.

Controlling her breathing, she stopped the bleeding on her arm. Kneeling down, she simply watched the ash fly away. 

Watching the mother demon so desperately cling to her baby reminded Makoto of painful memories. The image of her mother and younger siblings flashed into her mind, but it was nothing compared to that memory. 

The most agonizing pain shot through her chest as she remembered everything that happened that night. 

Swallowing harshly, Makoto’s throat burned and she was finding it hard to breathe. Gripping her haori sleeve tightly, it took everything she had to not break down right there.

Standing up, Makoto’s hoarse voice snapped Inosuke from his thoughts.

“They’re coming up now,” she forced herself to say, turning to the lake.

Following her gaze, Inosuke waited and watched as nothing happened. About to call her out for lying, he cut himself off as the bodies of seven to ten children slowly floated up from the lake’s debts. All under the age of ten, they were bloated and rotting, clearly drowned. 

“I think she tied them down to the bottom of the lake with her hair, the demon I mean,” Makoto explained.

Refusing to turn and let Inosuke see the tears that threatened to spill, Makoto instead pulled out her sword. Flicking her wrist, she easily expanded the blade before turning her head slightly towards him.

“Inosuke, I’m sorry, but can you do me a favor?” she asked, voice softer than normal.

“Why should I?” he huffed, crossing his arms.

“Please?” she simply said, pausing before adding on, “I… don’t want their parents to see them like this.”

Thinking for a long second, Inosuke reluctantly caved in.

“Fine, but only because I’m just that awesome!” he proclaimed, freezing when Makoto finally turned to look at him.

“Thank you,” she smiled. It was sad but warm; genuine and full of gratitude.

Inosuke’s eyes widened behind his mask at the sight. The rising sun casting a halo behind her, and for a second, he thought something otherworldly was standing before him.

After barring the victims of the mother demon and her kimono, Inosuke and Makoto soon left the town. Walking side by side, he silently watched Makoto from behind his mask.

She seemed to be fine, acting the same as she before everything, but Inosuke now noticed a melancholic aura she seemed to have. He wondered if it was something that she had always had, or if he just now noticed it because of the demon they had slain.

Crossing his hands behind his head, Inosuke’s mind wandered back to the demon holding her baby and the memory that had flashed through his mind. He couldn’t help but ponder on where it had come from, and why he suddenly remembered it. If he really focused, he felt like he could almost hear the words that soft smile spoke.

Suddenly screaming, he startled Makoto as he gave up.

“That’s too much thinking!” he growled, frustrated.

“What is?” Makoto softly pried, tilting her head.

“Nothing!” he snapped, a puff of steam blowing out of the boar mask’s nose.

They were quiet after that, Inosuke busy grumbling under his breath. After a minute of this, Makoto took a deep breath before running in front of him. He merely gave her a confused grunt as she walked backward, hands behind her back.

“Inosuke, I wanted to thank you,” she started, only confusing the boy more.

Bringing her hands close to her chest, Makoto looked away ashamed, her cheeks tinting the slightest shade of pink.

“You see, despite being a swordsman, I’m not really good at confrontation. If it were just me up against that mother demon and her child, I’m not sure I would have survived,” she explained.

Looking back up at him, Inosuke felt his stomach flutter at Makoto’s smile. She had smiled at him before, but the way her lips pulled up and her eyes made little crinkles made him feel like he was air.

“Thank you for being there, I couldn’t have done it without you,” she laughed, causing the boy’s heart to skip a beat.

“Stop that!” he suddenly shouted, catching Makoto off guard.

“Huh?” she blinked confused.

“What’s with you! You’re so weird! Stop making me giddy!” he babbled, rushing past her.

Just like when they first met, Makoto was left behind not knowing what just happened. Staring at him surprised, she was only able to catch bits and pieces of what Inosuke was shouting about. Despite this, a tired, yet amused laugh slipped past her lips as she chased after him. 

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

[spamzineglasgow]

(ESSAY) A Brief Analysis of Rhubarb by Scott Morrison

> On YouTube, there is a fan-made video for Aphex Twin’s Rhubarb with over eight million views.

> Accessed through the familiar white, pristine and frictionless interface of the site, this particular video immediately stands out to me as a lacuna.

> Uploaded eight years ago – a relative artefact in the endless present of the digital age - the video consists of low-resolution passages that alternate between ambient landscapes of clouds, open fields and bare forests.

> The timelapses of clouds in their quiet, candyflosslike unspooling seems instantly to be the perfect companion to the quietly unfolding music. But the video always fills me with questions: who took the time to make and upload it, eight years ago or more, and why does their emotional response correlate so exactly with my own? Why do the blurry outlines of their nostalgia tesselate so precisely with mine? And why do the images so intimately fit the music itself?

> I would like to suggest that it’s because the footage, the music, and our emotions while we listen share a similar essence, a common resonance: the fundamental tension between stasis and movement.

> Setting up this relationship is one way that music can touch the eternal, the timeless. But, as is fitting, we will return to this by moving on. The way up and the way down are one and the same.

> So why does Rhubarb feel endless? Why does it feel like floating?

·      

Open up this MIDI visualisation of Rhubarb.

> MIDI visualisations are like starcharts to me. Often, more than any other type of analysis, they can make clear the different voices, structures and ideas at work in a piece of music.

> They can reveal the curves and clefts of sonic constellations; the outlines of bodies and faces in the clouds.

·      

Harmony

> With Rhubarb, the harmony is always the first thing that hits me.

> For the duration of its 7 minutes and 44 seconds, Rhubarb is a single chord sequence that repeats without cessation or secession, recurring over and over and over again.

> This, at the simplest level, is the clearest manifestation of the tension between movement and stasis in the music. This is why it feels endless. The great law of the universe is entropy: everything will change and decay and pass. But not this piece of music – especially when we can just press play again when it finishes.

> The music may not have substantially moved by the time we get to the end of its 7 minutes and 44 seconds - but have we?

·      

> To be a little more granular (grains: the gauzy, hazy textures of clouds on film frictionlessly becoming pixels online), in music theory, we could express the journey Rhubarb’s harmony does or does not take like this:

II: D(i) | F#m | A | E | D :II

II: IV | VI | I | V | IV :II

Western harmony revolves around the building and release of harmonic tension. Here, however, this process is subverted - the tension is never fully built or fully released: the sequence never resolves.

> In fact, the imperfect cadence at the end of the sequence (V > IV) leads back around to another chord IV at the beginning, smudging the boundary between the end and the beginning, the omega and the alpha.

> Notably, this first chord, inverted, loses even the pull of its own root note; and the lowest pitch (an A) in the bass voice (the blue line in the video) often makes the final D a second inversion. The lowest note in the piece - which normally acts as a ground in the music’s home key - is indeed the root of the tonic, but this only appears during the dominant chord, its diametric opposite.

> In other words: the usual harmonic weights that act as the law of gravity in the blue globe of a piece of music have lost their pull. Really, this is the fundamental reason the music feels like floating – we are not in a terrestrial world of causation and consequence, of falling and entropy and decay, but in another weightless world, revolving. Floating. Endlessly. Like clouds on a screen.

·      

> From here in the Cloud(s), what other features can I discern in the harmony below?

> The movement of the chord voicings (i.e. how the notes of one chord shift to form the next chord) is one of perpetual descent.

> In music, descent is a downward movement of high to low most often associated with music of lamentation, loss and grief. Here, however, due, to the unchanging repetition throughout the piece, this descent spirals not downwards into the depths, but - to me at least - pushes inwards, gently eroding, nudging, nestling, searching, enveloping, suffusing.

> The overall atmosphere of the piece is one not of deep grief or loss. But there is definitely a wistful sadness and longing (the bare branches in the video, the low winter sun). These are moments of melancholy and nostalgia. But why?

> Well, what is the essence of each of these states? I would suggest that both are defined by a tension between stasis and movement: the tug of the past on the present.

> I would like to suggest that this, by modelling this dialectic tension between stasis and movement in the fundamental construction of the music, is how Richard D James can make a piece that so powerfully evokes these feelings.

> There is one last thing I would like to add, softly, before we touch the ground again.

> The harmonic language here is entirely diatonic, and, for the most part, triadic. In other words, it is a simple soundworld – an echo of the language of lullabies.

·      

Timbre

> The timbre (the colour or sound quality) of the instruments used only heightens the precious, fragile, lullaby-like lilt of the harmony.

> The softness of the synths is sleepy and soothing. They behave like organs; celestial simulacra; hushed, safe, endless.

·      

Tessitura

> Clouds, of course, live in the sky.

> They move over vast distances, surrounded by space, and air. From aeroplanes and mountaintops, I have seen the vastness of their shadows migrate effortlessly over distant hills and plains below.

> Rhubarb shares this feeling of vast, endless, weightless distance. This is partly created by the recurring harmonic structure, outlined above, which seems to be without bounds.

> The feeling of space in the track is also created, however, by the sense of space between the different voices, and the wide range between the highest and lowest pitches. To me this creates a feeling of a ground far below and a sky far above.

> In terms of production and mixing, the panning and reverb add to this - more intimations of spiritual spaces: sounding spinning about above our heads, echoing in whispers, as in caves, or cathedrals.

·      

Rhythm

> Clouds never move quickly. Even if they pass over us with greater speed on certain days than others, for me there is something about their scope and scale that always makes their movement a graceful procession. There is no hurry or agitation. It is an enviable, inevitable process - long lines of flawless code running endlessly.

> Clouds (those in the sky, at least), move steadily. They do not glitch or leap. And so here the rhythms are regular. They do not alter. This creates a certain feeling of stability and certainty, of predictability, of trust. Of comfort and soothing.

> At one point, a voice enters playing on an offbeat (the yellow voice at 2:17 in the MIDI visualisation). This little change is vast in the context. It opens up another part of the landscape entirely: it contributes to the impression that there are several independent cycles occurring simultaneously, which helps the piece to feel organic, flowing - trees in a forest moving differently in the same wind. Clouds of different shapes and textures hanging in the same sky.

·      

Melody

> Then there is that beguiling shiver of a melody.

> It appears in the highest voice (the red line that enters at 0:44) and floats and glides small distances at a time, again, with no glitches or sudden leaps.

> It reminds me of the purity of plainchant, or Renaissance masses – a single, pure human voice vibrating in a cathedral. It reminds me of Arvo Pärt’s tintinnabuli: a slow, predominantly stepwise melody unfolding on top of a largely fixed, triadic harmonic part.

> Again: stasis and tension; linearity and repetition.

> The feeling of walking in place on an endlessly revolving spiral staircase.

·      

Voicing

> I identify a total of five separate voices, each of which occupy a certain register, and which have a unique character. These rarely play all at once.

> It is these different combinations of the voices, alongside the harmonic rhythm previously discussed, that creates the structure of the piece. This is one not of progress or expansion, but of exiting and returning.

> Disappearance and reappearance without change feels eternal, inevitable; as if the different voices have been continuing unaltered somewhere else (beneath the mixer, above the clouds) momentarily inaudible to us, before appearing in our reality again.

> Notably, the piece ends how it begins (a way a lone a last a loved a lone), continuing as movement and stasis: unchanging materials combined and recombined in ever evolving coagulations.

> It fades out. In other words, the recording ends, but the music doesn’t.

> Buffering on servers, endlessly playing on The Cloud, or buffering again in my memory it feels - endless, like floating.

·      

~

Text and Images: Scott Morrison

Published: 29/12/19

[eternitas]

Happy Valentines Day!

Title: Love a Zero G Ship: Heinz x Briana Fandom: Phineas and Ferb for: @ilitlselfship

A/N: Writing this has been a lot of fun but also a bit of a challenge. I still enjoyed the time working on it! I hope you like it too!

Love at Zero G

“You have to admit, at least it is working!”

“Mhm.”

Briana was absolutely not amused with the situation at hand. Quite fairly, Heinz was right. His machine worked! Mistake free! Actually she was really proud of his accomplishment this time. There was just a teeny tiny problem with it. Both were floating in zero gravity now and could do absolutely nothing against it, since he had turned the machine on before they could put on the anti-zero-gravity-shoes. Nobody else was there and since they hadn't started any shenanigans towards the town, there was no reason for Perry the platypus to show up. If they were lucky the janitor Mike would find them in a few hours and somehow release them, but Bri knew that a) it would still take at least half a day seeing that it was just 12 in the noon and b) good ol' Mike was not really the science type to realize what he would have to o to help them out of there.

“Say Heinz, what exactly was your plan with this machine anyway?” looking at him headfirst wasn't the most serious picture she could give even with her crossed arms and the rather annoyed look, but god knew she was trying her hardest right now.

“---have one.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said I didn't have one! I wanted to think of one once I knew the machine worked.”

“Now when did that ever work for you?”

“It worked once!”

“Perry does count.”

“Now that is just unfair of you!”

He gave her a pout, almost childlike as he continued to spin around, a stapler flowing by and only barely missing hitting him in the face.

Seeing the man upset was always a bit hard for Bri. They were a couple after all and she wanted him to succeed. But sometimes, well actually most of the time, he just rushed things and they got sloppy in some regards, so much so that it usually ended in him being the one at the short side of the stick. He tried to shard to show the world what a mad evil genius he was that he sometimes lost sight of the important things in life.

Briana sighed, giving her best to waddle her arms to move forward, but to no avail. Damn it! Alright,she would just stay floating in place as it seemed.

“Heinz, listen.  You're trying very hard and I get that, but honestly, I am a bit worried you're trying a bit too hard. Take a break. Let's go out bowling or something.”

“You kind of look like a very unaesthetic pigeon.”

“... Thanks honey.”

But he did seem to think about her words and sighed.

“You're right... It's been a while since I had a break... It's actually kinda nice floating around here and not doing anything for once. Feels refreshing.”

A smile formed on both of their lips. At least they agreed on this end.

A pack of Styrofoam marshmallows floated over to Heinz and  he just opened the pack and let them all fly out, as if he was a child of 3 years old. Briana was shocked at first, but quickly saw how much fun he had and laughed. Maybe a bit chaos would be good for both of them. This seemed to be exactly what Heinz needed to relax. A bit chaos, a bit goofing around, just some-... alone time with her.

The door opened and an animal with weirdly turquoise fur came in, giving a clicking like sounding purr as he moved towards the machine with anti-zero-gravity-boots to turn the thing off, making everything that was floating a second ago fall down to the ground. Styrofoam and that stupid stapler included.

“Ouch!”

“Thanks Perry.” Bri rubbed her butt that hurt a bit from falling to the ground and landing on it, before the animal with the weird hat approached her. She waved off.

“Nope. No Evil Plan today.” As she said that he almost looked a bit disappointed.

“But I... have an idea.”

“Whaaaaat?”

“How about we all go out for today. No evil schemes, no malfunctioning machines, just us three, a soda and a trip to the bowling alley. What do you think?”

The Platypus seemed a bit confused at first, but Briana reassure him with a nod.

A look onto the animals wristwatch, seriously why is it wearing one, and it gave them a shrug, then a nod. He gave them to understand that he would be waiting downstairs and left the laboratory. The woman walked over to her scientist boyfriend, crouching down next to him.

“Come on Heinz. I'll bandage your head, give you a kiss and we'll go. Perry is waiting for us.”

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: July 16 - 31, 2017

July was filled with great songs that I had intense obsessions with, but let’s start out with the honorable mentions first.

The Oblivion - Losing Gravity London Grammar - Truth is a Beautiful Thing Theatres des Vampires - Delusional Denial Freakangel - Insight Avelion - Never Wanted October Ends - Living in Shadows Kimberly Freeman - Amnesia The Autist - The Great Lioneess feat. Audrey Berset (Emma-O) and Sara Henriques (Aura's Seers) Adastia - Shadow Story Konqistador - Fiend Quadrus - Sense of Matter Quadrus - Entropia (The Final Chapter) Inertia - Face of Defeat Septicflesh - 3rd Testament The Rinn - Symphony of Light Tid - Dumhetens Gudinna Cyclocosmia - Immured Pt. IV Bare Infinity - Robin Eyes Velaverante - Jailed Draconian - With Love and Defiance Barque of Dante - The Reason feat. Ines Vera-Ortiz Face Off - Water Infected Rain - Orphan Soul The Hardkiss - Журавлi The Eternal - Down

Now it’s time for the songs I was OBSESSED with.

1) Shape of Despair - The Distant Dream of Life

After hearing In the Ocean of My Tears by Clouds, I had to find out if the singer featured in it was in an active band and found this band as a result. She's not in this song, but it's absolutely wonderful. I've been finding myself gravitating more and more to gothic doom metal and I'm not mad about it.

2) Kesha - Praying

SHE'S FUCKING BACK! Do I have to say much about this? No. She hit that note and sealed the deal that she's back and is gonna slay the game.

3) Silentium - Shame Forever Mine

I decided to check out more from them after falling in love with Hangman's Lullaby and I'm so glad I did. This song is so gorgeous and was way better than I expected it could be. Gothic doom metal at its finest. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them.

4) Phedora - The Way is Shut

I discovered this song through Spaceuntravel on YT. It's so different. If nu metal and progressive metal had a baby, this would be the result of it. The synths are absolutely wonderful and are low key my favorite part about this song. Definitely give this a listen.

5) Cradle of Filth - Heartbreak and Seance

Let me get this out of the way: it starts out kinda bland and boring, but it kicks into high gear and gets so much better halfway through. They definitely went in a different direction for this track and I'm digging it so far and wonder if the whole album will follow a similar direction. Also, the video is absolutely GORGEOUS.

6) Sarasvati - Entropy

I found out about these guys through their female singer after I heard her in a song she was featured in. She has such a great low and slightly monotone voice. The song has a bit of a doomy/post metal vibe to it and I really like it. Definitely plan on listening to more from them.

7) Eskimo Callboy - MC Thunder

This is one of those songs/videos you see the thumbnail of and have to check it out. The video is bizarre, but the song itself is so fun. I LOVE the bridge. The breakdown and the "dubstep" bit go so well together and suit the atmosphere of both the song and video. The sound reminds me a bit of We Butter the Bread with Butter, but less electronic. I think I'll check out more from them in the future.

8) Suodeth - Nothing

I think I discovered this band through Facebook one day a few months ago. They're a symphonic death metal band whose "orchestrations" resemble that of something from a power metal band and I really like it. This song's flow and the orchestrations are absolutely wonderful. I'm for sure gonna check out their upcoming album when it's finally released.

9) Dreamslave - Torments

I discovered this band a few years ago and they have FINALLY released a music video. They're a theatrical sounding symphonic metal band. This video definitely rekindled my love for this track. It's so good, dramatic and theatrical. The singer gets into the music in the video and looks absolutely amazing. Can't wait to hear and see more from them in the future.

10) Omnimar - I Wanna Know Now

I decided to listen to their new album, Poison, and this and Out of My Life have to be my favorites off it. This song just has this vibe and flow to it that is absolutely wonderful. I really want to discover more industrial/harsh ebm/darkwave bands like these guys, so if you have any recommendations, feel free to send me some.

11) Karkaos - Tyrants

Children of the Void is an epic album, but this song, Kolossus (feat. Morgan Lander of Kittie) and Bound by Stars are the standouts on it for me. The symphonic element complements the instrumentals and suits the vibe of the song (as well as the rest of the album), but my favorite part is the last minute or so of the song. It just changes form and goes absolutely ape shit. Love it.

12) Empyrean Throne - Haereticus Stellarum

I can't remember how I discovered this band (it was either through IG or FB), but they're symphonic black metal band that I'm getting hooked on. There's something about them that really stands out to me. I think it's their choir and the fact that it's mainly (if not only) tenors that I love it so much. I'm really looking forward to their upcoming album, because I'm loving everything I've heard so far.

13) Kobra and the Lotus - Light Me Up

I know it's bad to judge the direction of an album off singles, but I have a feeling their upcoming double album is going to be a bit more emotionally driven and have more of proggy element to it. I'm not mad about it at all, in fact, I love it. It's just different from their older stuff. But then again, these are just singles, so everything else can be like their usual stuff. ANYWAYS, love the song. It's so beautiful, probably their prettiest song I've heard from them.

14) Eilera - Angel Made Temptress

I rekindled my love for this song thanks to Facebook Memories. It's such a gorgeous track. The singer has this kinda raspy voice and blends in with her pretty cleans so beautifully. It is a bit catchy, but not in a bad way. Love this song so much. I really need to check out more from them.

15) Exit Eden - Impossible (Shontelle cover)

Another outstanding cover from them! They did so good with this cover. I remember when this song was released, everyone in my school was obsessed with it, so them doing a cover of it brought back some of those memories. I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of the album. I need the box set in my life!

That’s it for the month of July! I wonder what obsessions August will bring.

[ecotone99]

[SF] Vaporwave Therapy for the Weak-Willed... Or, simply: Stronger

Dallas folded the paper note back up and placed it on his night stand before falling to sleep. It lay there, next to him, all night. When he woke up, it stayed there on his nightstand while he took his shower, got dressed, and eventually headed to work. When he locked his door and closed it on his way out, the note was still laying there, a small piece of paper, folded in half.

His drive to work felt normal. Dallas got to be himself, play the soundtrack to his morning and let it drive him. He nodded his head and sang too loud with the windows down. He smiled out the window at the sun. Today would be different. He would make sure of it.

“Good evening, doctor!” Athena cheerily greeted Dallas as he walked into the lobby of the 91st floor.

“It’s the morning, Athena…” Dallas said, pausing.

“I’m sorry doctor, Daylight Savings Time always seems to throw my programming off, I will re-synch my internal clock to the company server’s clock immediately. Additionally, Mr. Fukunaga left a message on your voicemail approximately half an hour ago. I will make sure it autoplays as soon as you get into your office.”

“Thanks Athena, do you know when my first appointment is?”

“Ahh yes, doctor, your first appointment is… No wait, that is Doctor Horvath… Hmm, that one as well… It looks like he is actually taking three this upcoming hour, I had no idea how he plans to do that… Goldfarb, Dukes, and Kerfling. You don’t have one until 12 actually… However, I will make sure that you take priority on the queue for any walk-ins this hour as it seems that all fourteen of the other doctors are booked.”

Dallas momentarily clenched a fist that he released instantly. Today wouldn’t be like yesterday.

“Thank you, Athena.”

Dallas headed to his office, he hung his jacket on the hook behind the door as he shut it behind him. It was only a small space, an eight foot by eight foot square, but it was his space. And he had hanged up three different signed prints of the Simpsons, now on its 105th season. Besides, how many other precocious 26 year old Cyber Therapists had their own office? Probably not many. Dallas actually didn’t know. He and his friend Kit, who was also another therapist here, had both gone to school together. So, in this building, definitely only those two. The small office was cool.

Like Athena had said, Mr. Fukunaga’s message began to play as soon as he got to his desk.

“Good morning Doctor, this is your boss, Charles Fukunaga. Ahem, yes, well, after our conversation yesterday, I trust that you will be working your hardest this week to meet the expectations summary that I Net-Messaged over to you. I’ll be checking in with you later to see how things are going so expect another call. Fukunaga out.”

Dallas sat at his desk for a moment, staring at the blank spot on his wall between two of the Simpsons prints. One hand slowly clenched and unclenched over and over for a minute.

Goddamnit.

A short knock rapped at his door followed by the door opening almost immediately.

“Dallas, buddy!”

“Horvath, hello.” Why’d even you knock if you just planned on walking in?

“Hey, so are you coming to my party Wednesday night? It’s going to be at Dave and Buster’s! And I gotta tell you, I think I’m going to eat my own weight in cheese sticks!”

Be stronger.

“Horvath, look, I don’t want to go. So I’m not going to.” Dallas forced himself to look up from his computer and meet Horvath’ gaze. Horvath held it for a moment, he really did, but then he looked over at the Simpson’s print of them dressed like The Beatles crossing Abby Road. It was signed by former US President James Buchanan’s last living relative who bore no connection to The Simpsons but it was impressive all the same.

“Dallas, buddy, look you gotta come! If you don’t then Kit won’t and if Kit won’t then Jaime and Alex won’t! Please! It is my birthday.”

Get what you want.

“Horvath, you have three clients coming to see you in 15 minutes.”

“Oh yeah, you’re trying to pick something up from the master, eh? Alright, I’ll let you in on how I run it, I give them each 17 minutes and I count their time in the warm-up chamber and their times in the cryonics bath all as a part of the appointment. I only spend a little more than a quarter of an hour on the holo-therapy for each of them. Pretty sweet scam, huh?”

“No, I can’t imagine the Ethics Department for Fukunaga Mental Health and Ameridata would be happy about something like that.” Dallas had trouble pacing himself here, “I want you to transfer Kerfling to me. Tell her that you messed up the schedule and that you need me to substitute. You do that and then I’ll go to your party. See, we both win.”

“You… Dick!... Fine. But not cool and you’d better bring a gift!” Horvath huffed as he slammed the door behind him.

“I won’t.”

Dallas exhaled deeply, relief jetting through him, racing against the impossible pace of blood pumping alongside it. It had worked. He had worked. It was working! He had already gotten more than what he had started the day with!

Dallas hit down on the intra-office page system, “Athena, when Mrs. Kerfling gets here, please just go ahead and page me when you set her up in a therapy chamber. Dr. Horvath realized the mistake in his over-booking and requested my help with handling some of his workload.”

“You got it, Doc!” Athena said back cheerily.

Dallas pulled up Grandiana Kerfling’s file on his Data-Net and reviewed it while he headed upstairs to one of the Holo-Therapy rooms. Being careful while winding his way through the labyrinthine office halls to make sure he avoided the anti-gravity wing. Even though the zero-grav environments were supposed to be contained to the pods, he swore he got nauseous every time he walked by. He signed in on Suite 14 and made ran some pre-diagnostics to make sure all of the modules loaded up correctly. Everything booted up fine, even the premium add-ons.

Dallas’ Data-Net activated a notification alert, it wasn’t Athena, it was Kit.

“Just saw Horvath and he was throwing a tantrum at one of his patients. What a baby.”

Dallas quickly messaged back so that he wouldn’t be looking at his Data-Net when Mrs. Kerfling arrived. “Yeah, I might have done that, I’ll tell you more later.”

The page from Athena popped up and Dallas dismissed it before snapping his Data-Net shut. Moments later, Grandiana was vogue-ing her way through the security checkpoint. Dallas greeted her politely, despite the fact that she seemed nonplussed about the change in therapists, and then ushered her into the Holo-Suite but he waited to engage the holograms.

“So, Grandiana—”

“You may address me as Ms. Kerfling, Doctor...?”

Decide right now, Dallas, decide to take what you want.

“You can just call me Dallas, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, Grandiana, but if you keep me at arm’s length then the therapy just isn’t going to be as effective. Now, I can call you Ms. Kerfling but you need to ask yourself how much you will really get from this session if you are so guarded.”

“Yes Doc… Yes Dallas, I’m sorry, Grandiana is fine… I just, I’m just not used to seeing anyone but Doctor Horvath.”

“That’s ok Grandiana, I understand that, but I was looking at your file and to be honest I feel like you were being slighted by Doctor Horvath anyway. I feel like you’d be much more receptive to the Dragons and Elves scenario so for this session I’m actually going to give you a free upgrade over your standard Castle Siege scenario. It is skews a little more towards fantasy then you’re used to but after reading your file I am sure that you’re more than equipped to handle the nuance of this kind of therapy. It might leave you a little more drained than usual but we will worry about that after the session, alright?”

“Oh my, Doctor Horvath has never taken this much interest in our sessions, I actually do think I am more excited about this… Very well then. Let’s run the scenario! I want to keep my sword from the Castle Siege Scenario though!”

“Absolutely, Grandiana, I can make sure that Scarblade is in the Dragons and Elves Scenario.”

“Wow, Dallas, you really did read my file, didn’t you!”

“I sure did!” Dallas chuckled as they engaged the scenario.

An hours and fifteen minutes later, Dallas had let the session run on long for a couple of reasons, the two stepped out of the Holo-Suite. Grandiana was actually out of breath but her expression read of exhausted contentment.

“That was fantastic Dallas! I thought the goblins had us for sure! What a relief it was to find out that Scarblade actually had a flame enchantment the whole time! I gotta say though, I am beat. Do you think it would be ok to schedule some extra cooldown time in the cryonics bath?”

“I won’t lie to you Grandiana, it will tack more onto your bill but as your therapist I would absolutely recommend it as well. It is good to be able to fully relax and decompress in an environment like that after all the action that you just experienced.”

“You know what, I actually don’t mind at all, sign me up for a double cryonics treatment! And while you’re at it, schedule me another appointment with you next week! I want to keep running the Dragons and Elves scenario and you’ve proven to be a much more capable therapist than Doctor Horvath!”

“I’d be more than happy too, Grandiana.” Dallas said, sending her into the cryonics room while totaling how much more the commission for all of that was going to look on his numbers. Just today’s double cryo would be a sizable increase in his numbers from last week! Horvath was an idiot, Grandiana was a whale and he wasn’t doing his due diligence to service her enough. He deserved to have Grandiana poached out from under him.

Dallas pulled out his Data-Net and saw that Kit had messaged him:

“Hey, meet me in the cafeteria for lunch after your next session! Just had the wildest experience with Chubbs!”

Chubbs was the nickname that Kit had for one of her patients who was not overweight (so the nickname wasn’t insensitive jeering). Chubbs was obsessed with Carl Weathers’ character from the Adam Sandler cinematic universe, Chubbs Peterson, the one-handed retired golf pro. He had only appeared in two films, Happy Gilmore and Little Nicky (the second appearance was really only a cameo) but Chubbs (real name Carl Dagonovich) was completely fixated. Every session with that guy was a scene-for-scene retake of Chubbs Peterson’s cinematic chronology. It hardly seemed therapeutic but the business of mental health takes many paths.

“Wildest Experience With Chubbs sounds like the title of an overly-produced porn… So yeah, obviously I need to hear about this. I’ll meet up with you in about an hour and a half!” Dallas messaged back.

Dallas coded his notes on his session with Grandiana Kerfling while waiting for his next patient. But he kept glancing down at his Data-Net the whole time he was typing up the report. When Kit finally responded he spun his chair completely away from his desk to read her message.

“Wildest Experience With Chubbs is also sadly the story of every time I’ve ever masturbated in front of a mirror but PIZZA JUST TASTES SO GOOD!” Kit messaged back.

Athena sent Dallas a page, notifying him that his next patient had arrived. Dallas started walking towards the Holo-Therapy Suites but he didn’t look up from his Data-Net, he just walked while typing a reply.

“Ewww… Why are you tasting pizza while masturbating in front of mirrors? Listen, if you ever need to talk about anything… I’d actually recommend you speak to Doctor Horvath because that guy is like, real good.” Dallas chuckled to himself as he typed it out.

“I meant pizza in the royal sense, stupid, obviously I don’t eat pizza while masturbating. I eat pot roast because I am a class act.”

Dallas stopped in the middle of walking to let out a short chuckle at Kit’s response. He smiled as he began typing back.

“Yeah, well have fun with your royal pizza or whatever you are doing with it, I’m about to start a session.”

Dallas snapped his Data-Net shut and watched his next client stalk through the security post. Daisuke Hernandez was a complicated man and Dallas hadn’t quite pinned him down yet but he was able to get along with him well enough to sell him a premium scenario for every visit.

“Darasu-San.”

“Hernandez-San, I trust you would like to run the same scenario today? Samurai and Banditos fight off the Giant Killer Praying Mantis?”

“Hai.”

“Sounds good, I’ve got a lot planned for you, I think we’re going to make some real progress. Who knows, by the end of today’s session, I might even upsell you from your usual zero-grav pod to a electrolysis massage for your decompress and debrief regimen.” Dallas said as they went into the holo-therapy room.

An hour and two minutes later and Dallas had done exactly what he had set out to do. Dallas had filled the scenario with so much nuance and subtlety Daisuke agreed to the upcharge. Another sale, two in one day for Dallas was unheard of. This was his personal best. All because he was strong enough.

Dallas checked his Data-Net once he had sent Daisuke Hernandez on his way. He had a message from Kit that was just a pot roast emoji and he grinned at that. Another message from Athena told him that he needed to call his boss back. The grin faded slightly, but only slightly. Mr. Fukunaga wasn’t so bad, really. His advice seemed to really be helping.

“Hey, I’ll meet up with you in ten minutes, I just have to make a real quick call!” Dallas messaged Kit as he rushed back to his office.

Once he was situated he initiated the call with Mr. Fukunaga.

“Ahem, hello? Who is this?” Charles Fukunaga demanded.

“Yes sir, this is Dallas, the doctor from Branch 7 that you spoke to yesterday, I was returning your call.” Dallas responded hastily.

“Yes! Dallas! Well, yes, fantastic! I was just looking at everything you’ve accomplished today! I swear, you’ve done better just this morning than you did all last week! I see you took my pep-talk to heart then, did you?”

“Yes sir, I—”

“Good, that’s good… Ahem, you know, the company, and by extension me personally, just want the staff of all Fukunaga Mental Health branches to be happy, comfortable, and loved! I want to make sure you are as fulfilled as you can be by working for us…

Can I get real with you for a second, Dallas? Just really real and raw and uncut? I want you to be really fulfilled! Just in every, ahem, EVERY way.

You know, I’m something of an older man. I’m hitting the ass-end of my fifties now. And I’ve started something new. I’m now the… well… I’m an active participant in a polyamorous relationship with two trans-women and a hyper-sentient android with three separate personalities. The six of us are very happy and VERY fulfilled.

I just, well, I just want to make sure that you are as happy as I am. I want you to find your polyamorous six-way! Do you have that, Dallas? Do you have somebody? Or five somebodies even?”

Dallas hesitated. For a lot of reasons.

“No, sir, I guess I can’t quite say that I do have what you have.”

“Well, m’boy, I want you, right now, I want you to really evaluate yourself. Ahem, and I want you to take that advice I gave to you and I want you to really apply it across every part of your life. You do that and I know that you will be the best Cyber-Psycho-Therapist that this company has. You’re good at what you do but I know you can be great at what you do. Now go back out there and do what you do! Fukunaga out!”

Dallas sat at his desk, staring at the blank spot on his wall between two of the Simpsons prints. It seemed endless in a way. It was so empty that it was able to completely consume him and remove him from the reality of the conversation that he just had with his boss. The blank spot was comforting for just a few moments. And then he remembered that he had just told his boss that he was alone. He told his polyamorous boss that he was alone.

Goddamnit.

“I’m on my way now… I’m… This day has been weird. Be right there.” Dallas messaged Kit.

When Dallas got to the cafeteria, he looked around until his eyes landed on a secluded corner with one solitary doctor eating her lunch. Kit’s hair was down, she was peeling a fresh orange, she was wearing the white lab coat that she swore made her look “more like a doctor”. Dallas had known her for so long and she had never looked better than right that moment. She was like if his eyes could drink hot chocolate.

Dallas grabbed himself a neon meal shake that advertised “all the power of lasers in one bottle” before sitting down next to his best friend. She told him about Chubbs, he told her about Horvath, Kerfling, and even Hernandez. He left out his talk with Fukunaga. She was so happy that he was getting his numbers up. She was always happy with him. Dallas liked to chase that feeling.

“You’re pronouncing that wrong.”

“What?”

“You’re pronouncing Chuck Palahniuk’s name wrong.”

“Bullshit, I watched the special edition blu-ray with commentary and Edward Norton prono—”

“Yeah, he pronounced it wrong too.”

“Well how do you know, genius?”

Do you have somebody? Or five somebodies even?

“Because I met him. He signed my copy of Choke. I asked him to write in the inside cover how to phonetically pronounce his name and he did. See, here is a picture of it right here.”

Kit pulled up a picture of the book on her Data-Net and there it was, plain as day. Chuck Palahniuk’s autograph right next a pronunciation key in his hand-writing.

“Wow… Ok, well that is wild.” Dallas said, incredulously.

“Yeah, well you should know better than to doubt me.”

“I didn’t doubt you… I was just hesitant to immediately doubt Edward Norton. He just seems so smart… Also, figures that you would have him sign Choke. I haven’t even read that.”

“Yeah, well I own a signed copy that I am not going to let you borrow so good luck never reading it.” Kit laughed, her eyes always shut when she laughed, it was this moment of sincere vulnerability any time she laughed. Dallas had learned to appreciate that. She was a licensed Cyber-Therapist, any of the smart ones knew to never be vulnerable.

You will get everything you want because decided to take it.

While her eyes were closed, Dallas leaned in and kissed Kit on her smiling lips. He felt her tense up for the fraction of a second but immediately relax as she kissed him back… for almost a full second before pulling herself away.

“Dallas, what the fuck? I’m… I’m… you can’t do that! You know I’m with Jiro!” Kit was blushing, her smile was down-turned into a scowl, and her brow was furrowed. Her tone was both panicked and indignant and… yes, angry. An individual’s whose career was based around interpreting human behavior might say that this was a wholly negative reaction.

Dallas began to feel shame injected into his face and neck and start to run down his back. He felt it seep closer to his extremities with each heartbeat until he finally felt it in his fingertips.

“Kit, I’m…” Dallas trailed off. He knew there were no words that could ever make this alright.

“Please don’t tell Jiro.” Dallas said numbly. He stood up and walked out of the cafeteria while Kit was flustering. She called after him but he kept walking. He went past his office, past the Zero-Grav Pods, past the Cryo-Bath Tanks, past Athena the android assistant, down the elevator, out of the building and began to walk home. There was no saving that situation. Probably.

Dallas, Kit, and Jiro had been friends for the last 15 years. They had gone to school together as three best friends until a year and a half ago when Kit and Jiro started dating. Dallas had never had a single romantic feeling for Kit for thirteen and a half years until she was with Jiro.

Why did I do that? That wasn’t strength… That was weakness. I am pathetic.

Dallas made it home when he realized his car was still at work. And that he was still supposed to be at work. And that Mr. Fukunaga had told him to get his sales up or he would be fired. And that… No. Nothing mattered right now.

Dallas lay down in his bed, fully clothed. His eyes landed on his bedside table where he had left the note. That note that Mr. Fukunaga had told him to write to himself. Back when Mr. Fukunaga was threatening to fire him still.

Dallas reached over and unfolded the note and read it.

“Tomorrow, you will be stronger and you will get everything that you want because you decided to take it.”

Dallas tore the note into pieces, rolled over, and began to cry into his pillow.

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