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#It’s not all gonna be nice girlie
inkskinned · 4 months
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
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murtacalafate · 1 year
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This took longer than I thought. I doubted uploading it, mainly because of the broken dialogue and how weird was the reading. Writting is my weakness. Believe me, I considered doing the comic completely silent, but I wanted to get out of my comfort zone.
I don't know if the outcome turned out decent, I'm not sure. I've been staring at this comic for 2 months that my perception is heavely warped. Therefore, I'm not in good conditions to judge my work sjdhsdh
Anyway, hope you like it josuyasu nation.
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hecksupremechips · 5 months
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
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#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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ᯓ★
#i feel the way i feel and i dont owe it to anyone to hide my sadness </3333#also i just have bpd and even somewhere many ppl have that u cant even say anything but im just having a breakdown now 🤷🏻‍♀️#anyway what i wanted to say is that i AM sensitive and emotional and stupid#and it does hurt so much when the person i want and love doesnt feel that way for me#and i feel bad saying stuff like this bc ppl dont really understand but#i dont feel..: a whole lot... for anyone but him thats just how it is#so he IS a loss he IS so hard to lose and thats just how i feel#and it hurts sm bc hes the only one i wanna talk to but i cant#i know this is smth most ppl deal with in life and like it's just part of being a human#i just everyday keep thinking of things that remind me of him or i read a book i wanna tell him abt and then the pain comes back#bc the thing is i kinda only want to talk to him abt it all bc i just dont /feel/ a lot talking to others#that doesnt mean i dont appreciate it or care i just dont know how to explain#maybe it's my avpd? but i just dont feel happy or nice or good or comfortable or excited or interested in the same way :((((#i dont know i barely know what im talking or thinking about#and i keep saying the same things over and over again im just so sad and it feels like i always will be#bc i have bpd and then the pain feels all consuming and like it will never end and its just so hard to deal with#and even if it might be true when ppl say stuff like u deserve love or you're gonna find someone else etc#im not ready to receive it bc i only want this specific person and i get that many ppl deal with unrequited love and its part of life#but i AM scared bc im 25 and i've never ever met anyone i feel even a fraction for what i feel for him#what if im someone who doesnt get many chances w ppl? what if im cursed to be alone and never find anyone i have a mutual connection to????#so therefore i just wanted thought believed and hoped it would be him#and yes i acknowledge that a lot of it was just me wanting that and not realizing reality but its still how i felt#and as a bpd girlie my emotions are all consuming 🥴#so bottom line is i kinda just wanna die bc i wanna talk to him every second bc im crazy and mentally ill and since i cant do that im in sm#pain hahahah :D#and i will complain abt it bc it hurts so much idk what to do!!!!! ☺️
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hella1975 · 1 year
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SHE’S ON THE MOVE 🫶🏼
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jellyaibo · 6 months
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*a horrifying green mist forms around me as i remember therewill definitely be a new wave of people saying loser is an asshole*
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no-brand-gays · 1 year
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anime resale stores here always have absolute mountains of love live figures from every iteration of the franchise with every character and costume you could imagine...except i've never been a figure girlie so i always just look over the shelf in awe because i can't really see myself buying anything. except, that is, for the early love live sunshine aqours figures with no legs. that, i would buy
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#were these the first aqours figures ever?? they can't be right?#either way i remember just how early into lls this was#it's really burned into my memory i have no idea what they were made for though#i just always remember them. and their lack of legs#those shops always have the nice boxed up figures and then the ones that were brought to them without a box#left to sit forever in plastic bags on hooks on the store walls (until someone buys them)#some of those come in multiple pieces? like maybe stands or removable parts...?#but i always think it's gonna be one of these and i'm always so disappointed#cmon rashinban sell me one of the ugliest and most baffling love live figures of all time#personal#honestly it's not just figures i'm just really not much of a merch girlie#living in japan is slowly curing me of that though just because of how normalized it is for everyone to have character merch#i bought a really cute kanan keychain a while ago but then it fell off of my bag when i was out :( i still have no idea where i lost it#the normalization of it really helps though honestly#if you'd told me 2 years ago that i'd be buying little nitotan plushes of my fav characters to hold up to scenery while traveling and#take pictures of i definitely wouldn't have believed it#but that's just like a thing that anime girlies do here. i think it's really cute actually#i still haven't gotten around to actually bringing any of those plushes on trips because i forgot 3 times in a row#and then the next trip i took after that was with my family#nooooot a chance. oh my god there's no way i could've explained that and had them been like oh okay
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amoritasart · 7 months
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Idk if anyone here has expressed something similar before, but I like the idea of Evelyn simply not… caring that Caleb is a witch hunter. And she’s not really concerned about the hangings either. She knows these aren’t real witches. In fact, she finds those nights with the whole mob get their pitchforks and fires quite fascinating. Is it some sort of ritual? A ceremonial sacrifice? A cultural thing? Who knows, but witches have similar antics back home (some villages it was socially acceptable to eat babies), who is she to judge?
It was Caleb who took the initiative to change. He saw people he trusted and maybe even loved be accused and be meet with a horrid fate. He thought I know they didn’t deserve that, if they were even witches at all. And then he met Evelyn and realized that there were no witches on Earth. And that was the final confirmation that he needed to realize that he didn’t want a part in this at all.
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yuridovewing · 10 months
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last post i promise but i want to outline a yellowfang's secret razorverse rewrite at some point. not right now cause i'm way too busy, but at some point. i wanna tear that beast to shreds. i am gonna write foefiction
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moe-broey · 3 months
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Man..
#sorry i'm still upset about bridal sharena. like YEAH she's an incredibly powerful incredibly useful unit#pair her up w winter edelgard and the girlies are cleaning up tt maps extremely efficiently#and YEAH. she absolutely has nice art and huge win for the power of friendship. w veronica.#but man. it's like. i can't even enjoy my time w her.#due to. extremely specific things about me that are entirely a me issue and i can acknowledge that and own that.#it would probably feel less bad if like. sharena got literally anything else. in between now and her bunny alt.#like YEAH... she is the other half of the alfonse duo. which is the cutest shit and i love them so much#idk i know it's a non-problem. it feels dumb to make it a problem.#but genuinely like. i don't like using her w the animations on i don't really like checking the home screen dialogue#it's INTERESTING. for lore/characterization purposes. it's funny and charming bc ofc it is!!!#it's sharena and veronica ofc they're gonna be funny and charming!!!!!!! they are SO endearing to me#but god. i really do just. have problems. and it feels soooooo upsetting that like#my very specific problems are preventing me from enjoying WHAT SHOULD BE. something i should really like!!!!!!!#like there are NO problems w her!!!!!!!!!!!! the problem is ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna thrup#why didn't intsys consult me about this. the unemployable shut-in who runs a semi-obscure tumblr blog. in america#unbelievable..#like would i sound insane if i said marriage is like a trigger for me. like completely seriously and unironically.#like. again. it is such a non-issue. and all of it is on me to choose what i engage w that IS how managing your triggers works.#please please pleeeease don't misconstrue anything i'm saying i'm being vulnerable. rn. and petty. super fucking petty.#and obviously i can just. not use her. or use her minimally. but that's really not my point here i'm not looking for solutions#i'm just. expressing how uniquely upsetting this situation is. w how intense my askr sib interest is#w the fact that sharena IS. absolutely one of my fave charas. i adore her completely and she means so much to me#this feels like. a saw trap. made just for me.#idk again there is no solution here and i fully acknowledge this is a skill issue and realistically not even a problem.#but like. can anybody hear me. it's so dark in here.
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hwajoongie · 5 months
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I really want a new car but godddd I don't want to make PAYMENTS
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evansbby · 2 years
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seasonal depression is really really getting to me
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atreldes · 1 year
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“Forget a footnote or a chapter— I want the whole fucking history book!”
A moodboard for my @infamous-if mc Rorie Rose, she/her, lead singer of electronic/synth rock band rising//sinking.
#i need to make a playlist but the bands vibes are very much in line with infected mushroom's cover of black velvet#no but genuinely infamous is the funnest if demo i've read in a long time & i'm super excited for more#think i'm gonna go for seven's route first ft not realizing you're in love until it's too late#or maybe g... or august... idk yet actually i love every single ro so far *sobs*#misc facts abt rorie: Knows she's one of the best singers around you can't tell her otherwise.#says shit like 'oh come on i was /born/ to be a rock star it's basically written on my birth certificate'#but is actually really nice & polite lmao she's just very self assured#def told seven they'd be bigger than the beatles & was only half kidding#the r & s in the band name is the name is absolutely a reference to rorie & seven & she voted to keep it a duet#always ends up taking her shoes off on stage b/c she always wears heels & regrets it afterward b/c she's a jump all over the stage singer#loves to be a pest to orion but really respects him & his opinion deep down#low-key a flirt but doesn't really realize it + is very physically affectionate. Will sit on nearly anybody's lap if no chair is available#(she doesn't sit in chairs properly anyway lol. always wants to be on the counter or something)#(*kitty foreman voice* she likes to feel tall)#toes the fashion line between bohemian & whimsigoth- if it's got a skirt & looks like something a 70s era groupie would have worn? she's in#has multiple ear piercings mirrored nostrils a septum & a vertical labret. silver girlie.#idk just random little bits! slowly fleshing her out & obvi more will come as the story progresses ^^#if: infamous
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froggi-mushroom · 1 year
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A lot has been happening recently which means I had a little bit of an emotional moment earlier and my mum’s been so gentle to me for the rest of the day I just
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eti-mun · 2 years
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Terfs will do their damnest to make things like wearing make up, shaving, or even having sex and the color pink out to be something women are forced to do because of men
But absolutely refuse to realise there are women out there that do it because like
It's fun and nice and they enjoy it
I swear it's like they just go "I do not see it" or shout about how it's "internalized misogyny and the poor girl is brainwashed" when someone says they just enjoy it, like the blantant ignoring is the most infuriating part of it all
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dysaniadisorder · 2 years
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i think all the dr1 characters get very watered down by the fandom but in reality. they are all so weird
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